#triangle obviously me love of my life and my best friend

[romansroys]

three tickets to barbie thx

[kiri-thighs]

Express | J.Fisher

FEM! READER

summary: you and jeremiah are best friends and you two get into a terrible argument on the beach after showing mixed signals of each other's company. you express your feelings for him at the end of it and he realizes with you two obviously ignoring each other that he has those same feelings for you.

warnings: angst, mentions of underage drinking, cursing + TAKES PLACE IN AMAZON PRIME VIDEO SERIES SEASON 2. If you don't want minor spoilers please don't read OR you can watch season 2 first!! this one shot does not completely go with the plot of the show!

thank you and enjoy lovely readers 🤍

"I can't fucking believe you, Y/N." Jeremiah said, half intoxicated due to them leaving a party at Susannah's house. Susannah was gone and all of you had decided to throw a party.

Rewinding to at least an hour before he had said those words to you, what led up to this moment was surprising. As you and Jeremiah were partying, about to kiss a fight broke out between Milo and Steven.

Another event happened where Skye ended up sharing the news about their mom, Julia making a deal with the kids that lived, well used to live at the Cousins beach house.

You and the others were allowed one week each summer, since the family that Julia had sold it to wasn't going to use it too much. Jeremiah, you and Belly hearing the news, all three of you were happy.

Though there was one person that couldn't accept the deal and that was when Jeremiah and Conrad ended up fighting. You were in the middle of it.

"Jere don't say that-" You said, holding his arm as Jeremiah pushed you away, which caused you to be taken aback. As Belly was leaving, Skye went after her. You stayed as you watched Jeremiah throw hurtful words towards Conrad.

"Jere stop-" You said but Jeremiah looked at you, after everything that he said to Conrad.

"So what you're defending him now too?" Jeremiah asked as you looked at Conrad, before looking down and shaking your head.

"I'm, I'm not sure." You whispered.

"Yeah. There it is again. The I'm not sure from Y/N. One happy thing, such a small thing that everyone could be happy about and you go and ruin it Conrad." Jeremiah said as he walked away.

As everyone seemed to go their separate ways, you stayed in front of Conrad as you felt your chest was hurting.

Conrad was silent, his eyes teary due to the words that Jeremiah said towards him. Conrad looked up as you were lost in thought, your mind vacant before you hear Conrad calling out your name. You looked up at him when he asked, "You okay?" his voice was shaky, hoarse and like it was caught in his throat.

"Yeah...yeah it's just," You started before sighing. "Last summer was messy." You stood there as your voice was shaky too, wondering why in this moment you felt like breaking down.

There was one specific person that you loved so much. That person was Jeremiah Fisher. Yet with how things were going last summer due to the whole love triangle, Susannah and other messy stuff, it was like that again.

You were caught in the middle of it and it was not until this summer that your feelings for Jeremiah were growing uncontrollably larger.

"As soon as school got out, hearing about the house being sold I've been trying hard too. To get the house back. To talk some sense into your dad. To talk to your aunt and I never once told anyone how much things have effected me." You said as your eyes teared up remembering the way Jeremiah and Conrad looked at each other with so much remorse.

"I love Jere. So much, Conrad" You whispered. "Last summer I realized I liked Jeremiah even if he's been my best friend my entire life. Seeing Jere and Bells kiss with Steven, I couldn't take that happiness away." You smiled as you wiped your tears, you weren't a drinker so these were your raw emotions, not intensified too much because there was no alcohol intake.

Conrad seemed to go more silent hearing that Jeremiah and Belly kissed, as if not knowing that already. It was a reminder that Belly couldn't choose. You looked at him as if apologizing for bringing it up.

"Conrad," You called out, "I wanna keep fighting for this house but I don't know how much more all of us can take if it's causing this much damage," You said truthfully as your tears were falling harder. Conrad was crying as well, his head held low before pulling you into a hug.

You two were somewhat the same. Bottling things up, though Conrad got the bigger blow. You hugged Conrad tightly as you sniffled, continuing what you were saying.

"I just had to be there for you both," You mumbled. "You are here," Conrad mumbled. "You are, you really are." Conrad said in a shaky tone, not knowing how else to comfort you. Not knowing if what he was doing for you was helping you feel better.

You didn't want Belly to be alone but the one person that needed someone, knowing that Conrad would go after Belly, you knew no one would be there for Jeremiah.

Conrad pulled away as you wiped your tears. Conrad wiped his away as he patted your head. "Go after Belly," You told Conrad. You pointed to his chest.

"I already know you will." You smiled at him as Conrad nodded. Everyone rarely saw you cry. You knew that you had just let it all go to Conrad, but knew that he had something to take care.

Conrad nodded as he slowly walked away from you, leaving you there to wipe your tears away in hopes that they would be gone. You took a deep breath before walking back into the beach house, the strobing lights still seen through the house's windows since the curtains seemed to not be covering any part of the windows.

You looked through the crowd, trying to find Jeremiah amongst the people dancing and drinking. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes always made you cringe, you and Cam always got along pretty well when it came to parties because you two didn't drink.

You didn't drink specifically because your mom died due to a drunk driver. You didn't want to be that way, and there would come a time when you would finally drink.

You saw spray painting on the wall, people breaking windows and tables as you shook your head, moving past people who were shoving you left and right.

Finally though you found Jeremiah standing against a wall with a red cup already in his hands. You were in front of him as he looked down at you with the same angry expression he showed Conrad.

He was ready to leave, pulling his weight off of the wall as he turned away from you. You grabbed his wrist quickly, making him accidentally drop the red cup in his hand, spilling the drink on the ground.

Jeremiah tried his hardest to hold back his anger, you being his best friend he couldn't be mad. Not at you completely. You looked up at him as he turned around, his eyes still averted away from yours.

"Can we talk?" You asked him, loud enough to go past the loud music that was playing.

"I don't see a reason," Jeremiah said as you bit the inside of your lip and held his wrist harder.

"Then you don't need a reason but I have one." You said as Jeremiah finally looking at you. The reason he didn't want to look at you was because he saw you crying on Conrad.

He knew the reason why you were crying and it was because of him. He knew that too well that he was the one that made you cry, yet he couldn't comfort you and say that it was okay.

Jeremiah pulled his wrist away from your strong grip before walking outside with you, to the beach, a different part of it since Belly and Conrad were talking as well.

You followed after him, as you stared at the back of his head before he finally stopped when you both reached your favorite log on the beach. He turned around as he stared at you with a look of anger still.

"If this is about what I said to Conrad, I'm not taking it back." Jeremiah said.

"Jere you didn't have to say all of that-" "He asked for my blessing, Y/N" Jeremiah started getting riled up, already feeling that anger was bottled up inside of him.

"Yes he did, but he needed someone, he needed his brother and this summer you guys have been butting heads indirectly but things were getting better," You said as had your hands out, you trying not to get teary eyed. Yes you were defending Conrad because he was in the right, but you wanted Jeremiah to know that too.

"Since when were we getting better?" Jeremiah asked as he scoffed, laughing a bit because it was unbelievable to him. "He took Belly away from me. I had to watch him and Belly together. I thought of all people you would know how lonely I was because I was there for my mom when no one wasn't." Jeremiah said, his voice partially raising.

You felt your heart ache as your tears were starting to become visible but you wiped your face while Jeremiah was looking away. You didn't know. How else to tell him. How else could you possibly comfort him?

"Jere," You called out, "I'm here," Was all that could slip out.

"Where were you then? When were you here?" Jeremiah asked as his eyes were tearing up, his eyes seeming to get rid of the anger slowly but it was evidently still there.

"You always comforted everyone else before you came and checked up on me. You ran after Belly when her and Conrad fought at my mom's funeral. MY MOM'S funeral. You told me that you would always be there for me first, you liar." Jeremiah pointed to his chest, as he was hitting his chest with his fingers as he was saying that.

You hated it. Seeing him in so much pain but you were in pain as well. "Jere, I tried to take care of everyone and I'm sorry. I swear I came to check up on you first you're twisting the story," You said, trying to stay calm, while Jeremiah was raising his voice at you.

"You know what, whose side are you on?" Jeremiah asked as he put his hands on his hips, turning his body as he was now rejecting looking at you.

"I saw Conrad hugging you," "Jere are you seriously doing this right now-" "Doing what? Watching you be comforted because you're what the girl version of me and Conrad combined? Bottling shit up and then acting like it's okay? Yet you don't even go and run after me?"

"You aren't making any sense Jere why are you blaming me for that thing specifically?" You asked as you put your hand on Jeremiah's but he pushed you away once again, like he did back there during his argument with Conrad.

"Don't fucking touch me." Jeremiah said with a rough voice. "Whose side are you on." Jeremiah asked as you bit your lip.

You clenched your fists, "What do you even mean Jere?!" You finally yelled which took him aback. You looked away as your chest was heaving.

"When was I here? I've been here the entire time! Being in the middle of you and Conrad. The middle of you and Belly. The middle of you three!" You yelled as you stepped towards him, you pointing your finger on his chest as you were pushing him with it.

"I was there even if I was in pain too. With my mother's death at the beginning of last summer, then Susannah was next. You don't see it do you?" You asked as your tears were falling uncontrollably.

"You needed someone and when you say no one was there for you I watched you miserably. I watched you and felt invisible. You focused on Belly so much when you guys had a thing and I had to act like I was okay with that." You laughed but it mixed with crying too.

"I tried so hard to continuously fix things. Every time Belly had a conflict with Conrad or you I would be there for her. Every time you felt so alone I was there. I was there for each and every one of you and yet you're asking me where I was?!" You yelled.

"Y/N-" Jeremiah said as he took your finger off of his chest and held your hand but you pulled your hand off of him. "I get how much Belly effected you. How much you love her," You said as you knew the next words that you were about to say were fucked up. You knew that you shouldn't put yourself before others.

"I love you Jere," You said, in hopes that he would return the feelings. Yet you knew. You knew that you two made a promise to one another that you would never fall for each other.

There was complete silence, the silence killing you but Jeremiah was taking time to process. The processing ended up stopping, but the next words that Jeremiah said towards you were words that you wished he would never say to you, but he did.

"I can't fucking believe you, Y/N" Jeremiah said as he had a face of disgust. An expression he never had towards you but to others. You saw the way he looked at you, the way that you wished he hadn't.

"So that's it," You said as your breath hitched before your next words came. "You and I were about to kiss, obviously getting even closer during this whole week and you say that to me," You said as Jeremiah looked away.

"That was a mistake," Jeremiah said as your lips quivered, tears falling harder. "I didn't mean to do that. I just wanted to kiss someone." Jeremiah lied, but you didn't know that. Jeremiah knew that he didn't want to hurt you if he was still in love with Belly.

"You wanted to kiss someone?" You asked as Jeremiah nodded. "I love Belly." Jeremiah said straightforwardly. "We promised each other that we wouldn't."

"Fuck- promises are meant to be broken!" You yelled. "Can't you make an exception just this once? That you can love me somehow? The way I love you?" You asked, begging for Jeremiah to somehow look at you the way he always has.

The one time that you finally break, after being so worn out with being the therapy friend, the friend that everyone could depend on but at your lowest moments you could only depend on Susannah and Laurel.

Susannah was gone and that impacted you too but you knew that if you compared it to the pain that Jeremiah and Conrad felt, it would be selfish. That the mother figure that replaced your mom when she passed, was now gone and the last mother figure you had was Laurel.

"I can't fucking look at you." Jeremiah said, his breath shaky. "I can't believe you." Jeremiah said as he started walking past you. You didn't watch him leave, as you stood there, still in front of your favorite log that you two would always have heartfelt conversations on.

Before he could walk away completely, you turned to him. "You can't just leave it at that!" You yelled before Jeremiah stopped. You sobbed as you begged for him one more time, wanting his answer to change.

"Yes I can." Jeremiah said as he turned around, his eyebrows knitted. "I can say that I can't." Jeremiah said, his voice shaky because he was afraid. Afraid that he was losing you now too and it was because of the words that were coming out of his mouth.

You walked up to him and tried your hardest but still he pushed you off of him. He would never treat a girl like this, ever. Yet it seemed like you were a different case. He wanted to get away from you.

"Just- Just get away from me alright?!" Jeremiah yelled which made you stop. You froze and as you did, Jeremiah ran his fingers through his hair before his tears fell as his breath was hitching too.

You watched as he sobbed, his emotions seeming to stir in the pot but with each new ingredient in there, it was the wrong ones every time. You reached out to Jeremiah, but your efforts were short as he finally decided to leave.

This time you didn't go after him. As much as you tried to comfort him, he still walked away without turning back even if your cries were heard. You had tried to hug him, knowing that was always the solution but this time, that solution was last place.

You fell to your knees as you sobbed out, wishing that the conversation ended on a high note but it didn't. Your heart ached before you felt everything suddenly get blurry and shaky. Due to the many emotions you were feeling everything had gone black.

NEXT MORNING

The sun was shining over Cousins beach. The next morning came and everyone at the party was gone. The guests were gone at least except the mess that was left behind.

You felt your breath catch in your lungs before waking up when you felt the glare of the sun hitting your body. You woke up, getting up from the sand on the beach.

"Did I really sleep here?" You asked before your eyes softened realizing no one noticed you were gone. You were hoping Jeremiah would at least bring you inside or be concerned for you seeing that you didn't come inside later that night.

You had your hands on the sand before standing up, your legs feeling numb because of the emotions that were still hitting you right as you wake up.

You walked off of the beach and into the beach house, seeing that the door was wide open, before realizing Laurel's car was there in the driveway.

You blinked before you realized. You ran inside but was met with Belly walking out of the house. Belly was holding her cheek. "Bells?" You called out as held her arm, trying to stop her. She hugged you tightly, her tears falling onto your shoulder.

You were shocked seeing the amount of tears coming out of Belly's eyes. You held the back of her head as you hugged her tightly before she pulled away and walked out to the beach.

You watched as she left, your breathing on double time before walking inside knowing that she needed space. You saw Laurel there, with Steven, Conrad and Jeremiah.

Steven told Laurel that Belly and the rest of the kids were at least here for Susannah's boys while Laurel was absent. After hearing Laurel already knew about the house being up for sale. Everyone walked away from Laurel and apparently you now. Jeremiah didn't bat an eye at you, covered in sand.

Laurel looked over to you before you looked away. "I'll start cleaning up," You whispered. "Belly needs her mom right now." You whispered before grabbing a trash bag, feeling somewhat small as you started to clean the place.

It was an hour or two later that Laurel announced that she would fight for the house and talk to Julia about it. Everyone was thankful for Laurel, glad that Belly reached out to her mom.

You kept your distance from everyone as you felt invisible and sad again. You looked at Jeremiah a few times but he never looked at you. He really did mean that he wouldn't look at you at all.

Julia finally arrived and as the kids were cleaning up, Laurel pulled Julia aside talking at Susannah and her's favorite spot.

You continued to clean up as Belly came over to you with Taylor. "You okay?" Belly asked, her hand on your back. You didn't know that Jeremiah and the others were also listening in as well.

"Yeah, just a little tired." You told Belly. "Jere and I had a big argument last night." You smiled sadly. As Belly pulled you aside along with Taylor and Skye who seemed to tag along, Steven looked over at Jeremiah.

"What happened?" Steven asked Jeremiah who was scrubbing the wall, trying to get the spray paint off of it. Jeremiah shook his head. He knew if he thought about it then he would've said the wrong things somehow.

"Nothing," "Well it doesn't seem like nothing Jere. Taylor and I watched the whole thing. I wanted to punch you so badly seeing the way you made her cry." Steven said as Conrad awkwardly listened, still on the silent treatment with Jeremiah.

Steven put down his trash bag as he made Jeremiah stop too. "I get it. We've all been through a lot of shit man but I know damn well that you love Y/N. More than Belly." Steven said as Jeremiah looked away.

"I don't." "You really are an airhead like they all say." Steven chuckled before making Jeremiah face him.

"You may think that taking the easier option is better but the better option will always be there for you and if I'm going to be honest it's Y/N. You said it so yourself. Belly will always have something for Conrad. There's someone though waiting for you." Steven said since Conrad left the room. Jeremiah looked up at Steven as Steven was awkwardly smiling.

"I.." Jeremiah said before his shoulders fell, "I fucked up so badly," Jeremiah said as Steven agreed.

"Well yeah. Can't say that I don't agree with you cause I do." Steven laughed as Jeremiah nodded.

"I..I don't know. I just don't know." "Well you gotta know somehow. All the things you said weren't her true intentions and even you know that when you start to regret what you said. She's always been there for you. Through everything. Of course she would love you dude. It isn't hard to love someone like you. Especially her. She always finds a reason." Steven reassured as Jeremiah's eyes teared up.

"Do you think she'd forgive me? For the things I said? I've never in my life spoke to her like that. I've never said such harsh things to her and yet in that moment it felt that that was the only thing that I could do." Jeremiah explained, his obvious regret showing.

"Give it a day or two. You'll probably realize it more." Steven patted Jeremiah's shoulder. "What you said was fucked. Even I would be hurt if someone said that to me." Steven said, not trying to blame Jeremiah but he knew that the two would push through.

Jeremiah paused for a bit before nodding. He knew that he had to do something somehow. He knew if he wasn't there for you the way you were there for him, then no one would be. Hearing that you slept on the beach, eavesdropping and everything no one came to come get you.

Jeremiah knew that as a best friend he should've been there for you. To carry you inside despite being so mad at you. He knew that he put his emotions first. Who knows what could've happened. He wasn't there for you the way you were there for him.

Those thoughts of what he said to you last night started to course through his mind. He winced at the thought of everything as Steven went to go clean more.

He would give it a day or two, in hopes that he would realize it all.

That he needed you, and loved you the way you did.

Taylor was currently giving you a hug as you tried your best not to cry. You stayed so strong up until now but again, you were a carbon copy of Conrad and Jeremiah combined. Belly and Skye were rubbing your back as you cried.

You hated the words that Jeremiah said towards you. Taylor had heard it all with Steven and explained everything to Belly and Skye for you so that you didn't have to.

You closed your eyes, hoping that all of this was a bad dream. Hoping that what Jeremiah said wasn't meant. Your chest kept on going up and down quickly. You were hiccuping as your walls crashed down.

You hoped that the house would be in the possession of the boys. You knew though that you didn't want to be a part of it anymore. You told yourself as you were being comforted, that this would be your last summer at the Cousin's house.

THE NEXT DAY

As you all were wrapping things up, Conrad and Jeremiah had a heartfelt conversations the night before. It seemed that everything was able to be fixed yesterday except things with you and Jeremiah.

You of course included yourself in helping Conrad study for his test in Brown to get into Stanford. Everyone was all for it, especially Belly. Yesterday evening was the last time you saw Julia and Skye for now.

After being able to convince Jeremiah and Conrad's dad about selling the house they had in Boston, things started to get good from there.

The morning came around and things needed to finish up. With the house not being on the market, everyone needed to go home and would be able to come back whenever they'd like and whenever everyone had free time.

You smiled as you were saying goodbye to Laurel. While the others were saying goodbye to one another, you wanted to talk to Laurel first.

"Thank you so much Laurel for everything that you've done up to this point." You said as you were holding her hands. Laurel smiled as she looked at you. You looked back at her, and the obvious eye bags were under your eyes.

"I heard what happened between you and Jeremiah," Laurel said as she gave you a hug. "Thank you so much for being here for everyone. We'd love to see you here again next summer or this summer if anything." You softened up in Laurel's hold before holding onto her and smiling.

"I'll think about it," You said as Laurel nodded. Laurel slowly pulled away as everyone started getting into their cars. You ended up actually driving here, so you didn't have a problem taking your time getting home. You took a good look at the Cousins house.

You weren't ready to leave yet, as everyone was talking about when they would next be all together. Everyone was saying the fourth. You looked at everyone in the group before smiling and humming.

"Yeah, I'll be available whenever." You chuckled as you started waving goodbye to everyone. "I'm gonna stay here for a bit longer. Conrad tell me how the test goes. Tell us everything," You smiled as Conrad nodded, with a content smile.

"See you whenever, Y/N" You nodded as everyone seemed to be driving out of the driveway. You didn't notice that Jeremiah actually stayed behind, instead of driving off in his brother's car. Conrad ended up leaving without Jeremiah.

You had your back turned, oblivious to Jeremiah staying behind as you walked into the Cousin's house, going to the pool as you dipped your feet in the cold water.

You heard the door open and looked back seeing Jeremiah was there, his hands in his pockets as he looked over at you, sitting on the ledge of the swimming pool.

You slowly looked away, still kicking your feet gently. Jeremiah slowly sat next to you, dipping his feet in the water with yours. It was silent for a good minute as the awkward silence was sitting there with you two as well.

Jeremiah was the first to break the silence, as he looked at you slowly, seeing that you were watching your feet kick in the water that you were now used to since they have been in there for at least a minute.

"Let's talk?" He asked as you tensed up a little before shaking your head. "I don't see a reason to." You snapped back, repeating his words from last night. To your surprise though, Jeremiah said the exact same thing that you had said to him too. You both switched placed though.

"Then you don't need a reason but I have one." Jeremiah whispered which made you stop kicking your feet. You slowly looked over at Jeremiah, your eyes already teary eyed. Jeremiah stared at your hurt filled eyes as he winced seeing how drained you looked.

Jeremiah reached up as he cupped your cheek gently, but you pulled away a bit. Jeremiah still tried though, holding both of your cheeks as he took a good look at you.

"No," Jeremiah whispered. "Don't pull away," You shook your head more as you held onto Jeremiah's wrists, wanting to shove his hands off of you but you knew that if you didn't want to do that truly.

"But you did," You told Jeremiah as you continued to look at his ocean eyes. "You pushed me away," Jeremiah nodded.

"I know I did, and I'm sorry Y/N." Jeremiah said as he wiped away the tears that were streaming down your cheeks as they were coming down.

"You didn't eat today or yesterday. You haven't slept either. I saw you were still awake even when everyone else was sleeping." Jeremiah said as he put his thumb gently under one of your eyes, seeing the obvious eye bags that already grew.

"It's hard to when you're mad at me." You admitted. "I didn't think you would have noticed me at all since you said that you couldn't look at me," You looked away as Jeremiah's eyes softened.

"Everything with Conrad, I resolved all of it. We told each other that we would talk things out as they come and not let them linger." Jeremiah admitted towards you.

"Things with Belly..I already knew that I don't love her that way. That there will always be a better option for me and..Y/N that's you." Jeremiah said, trying to convince you that the words he said to you a night ago was wrong.

You continued to look away as Jeremiah was the one speaking this time. "I do love you too. In the way that a best friend does but the way that a lover does too." Jeremiah said as he slowly let go of your cheeks, grabbing hold of your hands that he noticed were shaking, seeing your body tremble as well.

He could still see the silent cries you were giving and he knew that instead of being jealous of others that he'd rather be there for you than watch you crying in someone else's arms.

You stayed silent as you listened to Jeremiah, still trying to register everything. "I know..it's hard to forget what I said. But I'd rather say this and take back all of the words." Jeremiah held your hands still, trying to stop them from shaking as he kissed your hands gently.

He closed his eyes, "I'm so sorry for the way I talked to you. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for blaming you and lying to you that it was a mistake." You started to sob but Jeremiah didn't stop.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away and thinking you're invisible..you aren't. I needed someone and Belly couldn't be there for me because she was always with Conrad the most. I'm sorry for forgetting about you." Jeremiah's voice started to become shaky, starting to get emotional as he continued.

"I'm sorry for never realizing how much I loved you, Y/N." Jeremiah stopped when you took your hands off of Jeremiah's hands. With this, Jeremiah thought that you were going to get up and leave but you had your hands on his chest, pushing him gently.

Jeremiah looked up at you as you looked at him, hiccuping as your voice finally came out. "Stop," You whispered as you punched him gently, "Just kiss me already," You begged as Jeremiah's eyes widened.

Jeremiah put his forehead on yours as he watched you start to calm down, feeling how close he was to you. Jeremiah gently, hesitantly grabbed your cheek.

"I want to kiss you, I really do." Jeremiah said as your noses touched, booping one another's. "Out of all the people, it was always you." Jeremiah said before his lips hit yours.

Your body stopped trembling, as you melted into the kiss that Jeremiah had given you. Your first kiss was with your best friend. This was Jeremiah's millionth kiss probably but to you, this was the kiss you wanted it to be with.

You kissed Jeremiah, wrapping your arms around Jeremiah's neck as you pulled him closer.

He pulled you closer by the waist as he held you tightly, not wanting to let you go. You pulled away for a second before reconnecting your lips together with his.

Jeremiah tucked some strands of your hair behind your ear, feeling his chest was about to explode because of how much his heart was beating double time.

No one else could make both of you feel this way, both of you knew that for sure as you felt sparks. As Jeremiah slowly pulled away, Jeremiah stared into your eyes as he smiled softly, seeing how out of breath you were.

"The tears are gone." Jeremiah pointed out as he hugged you tightly, burying his face in your neck. You pressed your lips against his curly hair, closing your eyes slowly.

Jeremiah looked up at you again, pulling away a bit from the hug. He connected his lips with yours again, kissing you was so easy to him it seemed.

You kissed him back instantly, smiling in the kiss because you felt better. You felt that things really were going to be okay with Jeremiah. Jeremiah pulled away this time, staring at your lips before pecking it gently with a smile.

Jeremiah rubbed your back gently before getting up and helping you up as well. Jeremiah held your hands before sitting down on one of the beach chairs with you. He put you on his lap gently, having you face him.

You had your hands on his shoulders, having some support as you stared into his eyes.

As you two were silently looking at one another, the silence was broken when both of you said at the same time,

"I love you," You and him stared at each other before laughing softly together.

"Let's stay here for a bit, then I'll come over and sleep over." Jeremiah said as you nodded.

"I'd love that, a lot." You said as you pushed all of your weight on Jeremiah's as he laid on the beach chair with you on top of him.

Jeremiah kissed your forehead gently, having his arms up as a arm pillow.

Jeremiah closed his eyes as he smiled softly. "Me too,"

[minisugakoobies]

Paradise | JJK - Fourteen

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: smut, neighbors to lovers (not quite friends but not quite strangers), slow burn, love triangle, Stripper!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: drinking, references to blow jobs that happened like 60 seconds before the chapter starts, Jungkook's a bit possessive, Jin's a bit jealous, mentions of pregnancy, references to sex, 2021 AMAs Jungkook is the wedding visual, special guest stars Woosung and El Capitxn

Word Count: 7.5k

Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: That sexy man on stage - the one currently giving your friend the lap dance of her LIFE - is your super shy neighbor, Jeon Jungkook?!

A/N: Happy two years of Paradise!! 🎉 Two years ago today, I posted the first chapter of what was going to be a five-part series. So to say I can't believe we're here is really no joke!! Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, reblogged, sent me asks or DM'd me about this series - this is all because of you! 💜💜💜

Unbeta'd as usual. Please don’t be a silent reader, I’d love to hear from you! Taglist is open. 💕

Previous Chapter ♦️ Paradise Masterlist ♦️ Next Chapter

Turns out that impulsiveness looks pretty good on you. 

Or so you think to yourself, catching your reflection in the mirror of the men’s room as you leave Jungkook to collect himself after giving him the best blow job of his life (your words - although, based on the look on his face as you’d swallowed, you might not be far off). 

You hadn’t planned on dragging him into the bathroom like that, but upon seeing him walk out onto the terrace in that grey belted suit, looking like an absolute dream, well, you simply could not help yourself.

You also hadn’t meant to tell him you missed him last night. But you had, because you did. God, when had you turned into this - this massive simp? It was only yesterday morning that you’d woken up in Jungkook’s embrace. You’d barely spent 24 hours apart - so why were you so desperate to get back into his arms?

Of course, none of this matters right now. There are only minutes to go before the ceremony begins, and you need to pull your head out of the clouds and get back to Jennie and the others. Starting by escaping the men’s room sight unseen.

“YN!” 

Or not.

As soon as you close the door, you hear Jin’s voice calling to you. He’s standing at the other end of the little hallway, near the entrance to the reception room.

“Hey,” you reply, trying to be the most nonchalant you’ve ever been in your life, as if you weren’t just gagging on Jungkook’s dick in a public bathroom. 

Jin smiles as you approach, but there’s a gleam in his eye that makes you nervous, and you’re so busy trying to come up with a valid excuse for why he saw you emerging from the men’s room that you apparently forget how to walk, trip over the hem of your gown, and crash directly against his chest. 

“Easy, tiger!” he laughs, arms locking around your back as he helps you stand back upright. “I’m used to ladies throwing themselves at me, but only you’ve taken it literally.” 

You roll your eyes, but you’re pretty sure he’s not lying about fighting off admirers, given that he looks like a supermodel in his crisply tailored tuxedo. His bowtie is a little crooked thanks to being squashed by your face during your ungainly landing, so you gently fix it, and Jin thanks you with a soft grin. 

“I left my glasses at home, so tell me - did I just see you leav-” Jin suddenly stops in the middle of his sentence, his gaze drifting over your shoulder. “Oh. Nevermind, I see.” He takes a step back, arms falling from your waist.

Another hand slips into yours. 

Jungkook didn’t wait very long before following you out of the restroom. He squeezes your hand as you glance at him, but he stares directly at Jin, nostrils flaring slightly, eyes narrowed, lips pursed tightly as if - as if -

Oh, shit. 

“You left this behind, jagiya.” Jungkook turns to you, his face shifting into a softer expression as he produces your clutch like some sort of trophy. You must’ve left it on the counter. “Did you want me to hold it during the ceremony?” 

Your brain is lagging severely at the moment, trying to process two major facts at once. Fact one: Jin obviously realized that you were with Jungkook in the bathroom. Fact two: you completely forgot to tell Jungkook that Jin would be at the wedding. Which, given the events of the last 24 hours, it’s understandable that it slipped your mind, but this isn’t how you’d expected to officially introduce them. And he doesn’t exactly look thrilled to run into him now. 

On top of that, Jungkook has asked you a question. And is now waiting for an answer, while Jin watches in polite silence. 

“Um. Yes. Sorry, yes, can you keep an eye on it for me?” 

Jungkook nods, tucking the clutch into his jacket and patting it lightly. “Of course,” he says, nodding solemnly, as if you’d just asked him to protect precious goods and not a cheap bag full of tissues and mints. 

Jin clears his throat lightly. 

“Oh! I’m sorry, Jin, this is Koo- Jungkook. Jungkook, Jin.” 

Of all the ways for these two to meet, this might not be the most embarrassing, but it’s definitely up there. There’s still a bit of Jungkook’s taste lingering on your tongue as the two men shake hands, Jin wincing slightly. 

You try to quickly fill Jungkook in. “Jin’s the best man.” 

“Sure am.” Jin grins. 

“He and Yoongi grew up together,” you add, ignoring Jin’s little interjection, knowing that Jungkook didn’t miss it based on the way his jaw flexes violently, as if he’s gnashing his teeth. 

“Nice to meet you, Jungkook. That’s quite a grip you have there.” Jin slides his hands into his pockets. “YN’s told me a little about you.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” Jungkook replies, inclining his head slightly. His hand returns to yours, fingers locking firmly. “Wish I could say the same, but YN never mentions you.” 

You try to control your face as you look at Jungkook. What did he just say?

Jin just grins wider. “So… she said you’re a dancer?” 

“Yeah, I'm a dancer. But I’m also an artist,” Jungkook replies, chest puffing out slightly. 

“Yes! You should see his work, Jin. He’s an incredibly talented painter,” you add, and the corner of Jungkook’s mouth twitches, like he’s holding back a smile. “I might actually have a photo on my phone…” 

Jungkook doesn’t give you any time to check. “Y’know, I think I’ve heard of you. You’re a cook, right? I think my halmeoni watches your show.” 

If Jungkook intended that as a jab, Jin shows no sign that he felt it. “Well, technically, I’m a chef. And a restaurateur. But yes, I do host a successful cooking program - actually, it’s about to be turned into a series for a major network.”

“Right. So like I said. You cook.”

Jin’s the one twitching now, his eyebrow rising slightly at Jungkook’s blasé tone. But rather than looking annoyed, Jin looks amused. Meanwhile, Jungkook is still glowering. You, though? Your smile feels a little strained as you try not to react to the snarky shots being fired off around you. Jungkook seems more rattled than you’d expected by Jin’s presence. You’ve never heard him talk like this. 

“You’re right, I do cook a little,” Jin laughs. “I’d like to think I’m pretty good at it. But YN could tell you, since I’ve cooked for her a few times.” He glances at you, the sparkle in his eye you’d noted earlier back and twinkling a little too merrily for your comfort. “From what I remember, she’s been pretty satisfied every time.” 

And you’d thought this couldn’t get any more awkward than running into Jin post-beej. How silly of you. 

Jungkook’s fingers grip yours tighter. “And yet not satisfied enough to ever bring it up. Huh. Sounds like it was kinda forgettable.” 

Jin’s eyes flicker to yours questioningly and you cringe, still struggling to come up with anything to say that could make this conversation less tense. At this point, you’d be better off wishing for the ground to open up beneath you, as useless as your brain is being.

Jin coughs. “Anyway, YN, Yoongi asked me to tell you to tell Jennie that the officiant is running a little late. Nothing to worry about!” he adds hastily upon seeing your concerned face. “Just caught in traffic. But on his way.” 

Great, another thing for Jennie to stress out about. “Okay. I’ll let her know.” 

Guests are starting to fill up the rows of chairs on the other side of the glass wall. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Lisa heading towards you, waving your bouquet. Thankful for the interruption, you stretch out your hand. 

“Come on, we’re cutting it close on time!” she announces. “Hey, what happened to your lipstick?” 

“Uh…” Rather than answer, you opt for escape, tugging on Jungkook’s hand lightly to urge him to follow you. “One sec, Lis. Come on, Jungkook, let’s find you a seat.” 

“See you at the altar!” Jin calls behind you, and you wince, feeling Jungkook stiffen momentarily. 

There’s an empty chair on the end of a row on the bride’s side. Jungkook folds himself into it, placing your clutch delicately on his lap. 

“Um, so, we already took photos earlier, so I’ll just come find you after the ceremony.”

“Okay.” Jungkook chews on his bottom lip, nodding. 

An unsettling feeling comes over you. Should you apologize for not telling him about Jin? Or say something about what just happened in the hallway? What did just happen, anyway? 

Through the glass, you can see Lisa waving, pointing at her watch. Shit. Whatever happened, you’ll just have to talk about it later.

As you turn to leave, Jungkook grabs your wrist. He threads his fingers through yours, pulling you closer to him, until his lips brush your cheek. “See you soon, jagiya.” He gives you another soft smile, sunlight sparkling in his eyes. The angry scowl from the hallway is nowhere to be seen. 

Your head is a mess as you follow Lisa. How had you not mentioned to Jungkook that Jin would be here? Damn, maybe he was right - maybe you really never talk about Jin. 

Both men had warned you when you started dating them that they could get competitive. Apparently that meant passive aggressive disses and weirdly possessive behavior. If this is how the two of them are going to behave, you’re in for a long day. 

A small room cordoned off from the rest of the rooftop restaurant has been turned into the bride’s waiting room. Jisoo’s doing a last pass on Jennie’s makeup when you arrive. She takes one look at you and reaches for a tube of lipstick sitting on the makeshift vanity. 

“Babe, what happened to you? You look stressed.” 

Rosé hums in agreement. “I expected you to stumble in here looking more satisfied than that. You dragged Jungkook away at lightning speed!” 

“Pucker up,” Jisoo orders you, and you obey, letting her fix your lips. 

“Mmm, well, I found her talking to both Jungkook and Jin in the hallway, so maybe that has something to do with it?” Lisa pipes up, eyebrow raised. 

“Oh shit, did something go down?” Rosé asks, a little too excited for your taste. 

“Well, actually,” you start to say, then shake your head. This is the last thing you need right now. This day is too important to be derailed by your love life. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Oh, but Jin did say that the officiant’s running a little late, Jennie. He’s on his way, so there’s no need to panic, but the ceremony might start a few minutes later than planned.” 

“Oh, see, Jennie? I told you there was no reason to worry - now you’re not the only one who’s late!” 

“Jisoo!” Lisa hisses. Rosé covers her mouth to suppress her giggles. 

Jennie, who has been sitting silently since you walked in, inspecting her appearance in the makeup mirror, lets out a strangled sound that’s a cross between a laugh and a wail, and buries her face in her hands. 

“Girl, please do not make me fix your makeup again,” Jisoo pleads as she crouches next to Jennie. You pull up a chair next to her and sigh, rubbing Jennie’s arm lightly. 

“Ji’s lame attempts at humor aside, how are you feeling?” you ask.

Your best friend is absolutely radiant in her white gown, dark hair tumbling in gentle waves down her back as she turns to you. 

“I’m still okay. I know things were a little… dramatic yesterday, but really, I’m okay today. You guys don’t have to keep asking me how I’m feeling.” Jennie clasps your hands, giving you a soft smile. “I’m excited and I’m nervous but more than all of that I’m ready to marry the love of my life.” She pauses. “I think maybe I should use the bathroom again, though. I guess I have some time.” 

“I’ll help you,” Lisa volunteers, gathering Jennie’s train and following her out of the room. 

You’re quiet until the door closes behind them. “Okay, was anyone else expecting her to freak out about the ceremony starting late?” 

“She’s keeping it together, somehow,” Jisoo shrugs. “I think she’s still a bit in shock, honestly. But she’ll be okay.”

“She’s fine, as long as no one mentions anything about the you-know-what,” Rosé informs you, crossing her arms as she glares at Jisoo. 

“You don’t have to censor yourself when she’s not in the room.” Jisoo rolls her eyes. 

Your friends fall into their usual bickering, but you’re too deep in your thoughts about Jennie to bother telling them to knock it off. Maybe Jisoo’s right and she’s still adjusting. Just another reason to try to stay focused on her and make sure everything goes perfectly for her and Yoongi.

It’s the least you can do for your friend, after the day she had yesterday.

Yesterday

Friday morning brings you a sweet surprise. You weren’t expecting to wake up with Jungkook in your bed. He spent most of the night making you forget all about Taehyung’s joking offer to drop to his knees at your promise to help him, doing such a good job that you’d almost forgotten your own name, too. You’d figured he’d slip out in the middle of the night after you’d fallen asleep. 

You were wrong. He’s still here, all messy bedhead and sleepy eyes, laughing quietly about alarm clocks and wrapping you up in his arms. He follows you like a puppy as you start your morning routine - into the shower, back into your room, and then into your kitchen - and honestly it’s no wonder that you decide to take the day off to spend it with him. The thought of repeating yesterday and hanging out with him all day is too tempting to refuse. Even though you’ll see him pretty much all day tomorrow at the wedding - look, if he’s down for it, then why not?

And then somehow the universe decides that your day has only been maybe a solid eight out of ten so far and decides to kick it up a few more notches, by offering you a possible life boat off the sinking ship that is your job. 

Hey YN!

I know this is ridiculously fast, but my company has an opening, and I think you’d be great for the job! Long story short someone unexpectedly quit yesterday, so now we have a position we  need to fill immediately. I hope it’s okay, but I’ve given your name to our VP in charge of hiring and she’d like to bring you in for an interview! She asked me to reach out and see if you’d be all right with coming in next week - I know that’s fast, but this is for a new project that’s being rushed to production so we really need someone to crunch some numbers ASAP! 

Let me know if you’re interested!

Best,

Wendy

As if that’s not enough, Jungkook offers to help you practice for the interview, and suddenly you can’t see through the hearts in your eyes. Could he be any sweeter? You thank him, and he kisses you, and you melt, lost in his warmth. 

Jungkook’s voice brings you back to reality. “How many more emails do you need to answer?” 

“Um…” you stare at your laptop. “Let me just respond to Wendy and then I’m done.”

“Cool.” Jungkook stretches. His t-shirt rises with the motion, his Adonis belt briefly visible, and you know he’s caught your stare when he smirks. You quickly turn back to your computer, but he just wraps his arms around your shoulders, catching you in a back hug.

“I’m gonna go home and take off these dirty clothes,” he murmurs, teeth nipping your earlobe. “Come find me when you’re done. I’ll be waiting.” 

“Fuck,” you breath. Jungkook laughs, obviously pleased at the effect he has on you. He’s such a tease sometimes. You’re trying to figure out how to flip the tables on him when your ringtone starts trilling.

Be still, my heaaaaart…

“Oh god, I bet that’s my boss, wanting to talk me out of taking off.” You frown as you check the screen. “Shit, it’s Jisoo. I gotta take this.” 

“Hey, do you have a second?” Jisoo’s voice comes through a little strained. And loud. She’s talking over some sort of high-pitched wailing. It takes you a minute to figure out that it’s a person’s voice making that sound.

“Ji! What’s going on? Wait, what’s that sound? Is that Jennie? Is she crying?”

“Yeah, that’s Jennie. She’s - she’s had - well,” Jisoo sighs. “Look, I’m over at her place because I wanted to treat her to a manicure today because I know she’s been too busy to schedule one and you know how she gets about her nails so I thought it would be a nice surprise but when I got here - oh, you know what, this is not important to the story, why am I telling you this?” 

“Just get to the point, Ji!”

“I’m trying! I’m sorry, it’s been a big morning and - what?” There’s a muffled conversation happening suddenly, and you stare blankly at your computer as you wait for Jisoo to return. You don’t know what the hell is going on, but you don’t like any of it.

“Just ask her to come over!” you hear Lisa say in the background. Lisa’s at Jennie’s, too? 

“I was getting to that!”

With a frustrated sigh, you try to get Jisoo’s attention. “Okay, okay, I’m coming over!”

“Do you mind? I know you have to work-”

“No, I’m not working today, I….” You pause, knowing that Jungkook’s just in the kitchen, likely able to hear everything you’re saying, not wanting to embarrass yourself by admitting that you took the day off just to be with him. “It’s a long story, I’ll explain when I get there.” 

You don’t end up explaining anything once you arrive. That’s because as soon as Lisa opens Jennie’s door, she greets you with a tiny white stick bearing two little pink lines. Rosé is right behind her, beaming from ear to ear. 

“Oh my god.” 

“I know!” Lisa grins, throwing her hands in the air. “Baby Min, coming to you soon!” 

You frown, glancing over Lisa’s shoulder. “Where is she?” 

The sound of Jennie’s crying gets louder as you approach the master suite. When Lisa stops outside the bedroom closet, you grab her arm. 

“Before I go in there - are those happy tears or sad tears?” You’re pretty sure you already know the answer, but you need to know what to expect. 

Lisa grimaces. “Somewhere in the middle, I think.” 

Jennie’s curled up beneath the hangers of clothing stuffed into the closet that she shares with Yoongi. She’s wearing one of his oversized hoodies, sniffling into the black material as Jisoo, smushed into the corner beside her, carefully untangles herself. 

“Tag, you’re in,” she says, taking the hand you offer to pull her to her feet. 

There’s not a lot of room for you but you squish yourself in as best you can, and immediately tuck Jennie against you. Jisoo closes the door behind you. 

“Hi, babe.” 

“Hi,” Jennie’s voice is wavery and small, so far from her usual confident, cheerful tone, that it hurts your heart. “Did they tell you?” 

“I saw.” 

Jennie settles against you, hiccuping slightly through her tears. “This wasn’t part of the plan.” 

“I know.” 

Jennie has been mapping out her and Yoongi’s future pretty much since the day they met. They both want to start a family, but Jennie insists that they enjoy their honeymoon period first. And she’s determined to make tenure at the school where she teaches before taking time off to have kids. She wants to have it all, but at her own pace and on her own terms. Which means timing everything out so meticulously. So carefully. 

Gently, you brush a lock of hair from her wet cheek. “So… do you know how…” 

Jennie sighs. “Pretty sure it was the night of my bachelorette party. I came home and Yoongi asked how it went and um, I kinda couldn’t stop talking about my lap dance.” Your friend’s face flushes at the memory, and you bite back a grin. You’ll have to tell Jungkook he left a lasting impression. “And Yoongi… well, you know how he gets competitive sometimes?” 

You can’t help it. You burst into laughter. 

“Yoongi gave you a lap dance?!” 

“God, I wish I’d seen that,” Jisoo says from the other side of the closet door. “I’d love to know if he’s got moves.” 

In all your years of friendship, you’d never known Yoongi to do more than a simple side-shuffle whenever Jennie would drag him onto a dance floor. The thought of him performing an erotic lapdance is too much for even your overactive imagination to conceive.  

Jennie just smiles to herself. “Believe me, he does.” She glances at you shyly. “He’d kill me for telling you this but… you don’t think Jin choreographed his routine all by himself, do you?” she laughs, referring to the night Jin danced for you, and your brain breaks a little trying to picture Yoongi doing the same moves. 

The closet door flies open. 

“I’m gonna need to hear every last detail about that,” Lisa proclaims. 

“Same,” Rosé adds, and Jennie laughs for the first time since you arrived. She sits up, dabbing at her face with the sleeves of Yoongi’s hoodie. 

“Ugh, my face is going to be so puffy tomorrow.” 

“No, it won’t. We’ll take care of you,” Jisoo promises, already on her feet. “I’ll go raid your kitchen for supplies. Do you have any cucumbers?” She’s gone before Jennie can answer, Lisa scrambling behind her.

“Anyway… we always use protection, but you know how they say it’s not 100% foolproof? Yeah, turns out they’re telling the truth.” She stares at her sweater paws, suddenly forlorn again, and you give her a tight squeeze. 

“I’m sorry, babe. I know this is… a lot.” 

“Yeah. And I just…” You don’t say anything, just wait patiently until she finds the words she’s searching for. “I just feel like a failure. You know? Like, it’s so stupid, but…” She shrugs. “I feel like everything’s ruined now.” 

“Oh, Jennie, no!” Wrapping both arms around her, you sigh. “Accidents happen. That’s life! You can make all the plans you want but you can’t control everything. There’s chaos everywhere! And even if you do your best to avoid it, sometimes it gets through. And it’s not always bad! I mean… look at me and Jungkook. He came out of nowhere. I didn’t plan to start dating him and Jin at the same time. I didn’t know it was gonna get serious. I thought…” you trail off, realizing you’re making it about yourself. “Sorry, this is not about me.” 

“No, it’s ok, finish your thought. Tangents and diversions are good right now,” Jennie informs you.

You bite your lip, weighing your words. “Back when Jin and I met, when you introduced us, I just thought… this is it. This is my chance to have what Jennie and Yoongi have. Something real. Something safe and steady.” 

Jennie nods, encouraging you to continue. 

“And then Jungkook… he’d always been so close but I’d never gotten to know him. He came in and opened my eyes to another possibility. To something exciting and different and - and passionate, and, oh god, I sound like a shitty romance novel, don’t I?” Burying your face in your hands, you laugh. 

“No, go on!!” Rosé says. 

“I’m just trying to say - plans don’t always work out. But that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. And sometimes, the unexpected can be exactly what you want. Or need.” 

Jennie sighs, and you can feel her relaxing against you for the first time since you sat down beside her. 

“I hear what you’re saying. And I’d like to believe that. It’s just… really difficult for me to accept that I’m not always in control.” 

“That’s a fucking mood,” Jisoo says, returning from the kitchen with a mug of tea in her hand. Lisa carries a bowl of some sort of cucumber concoction, and the two of them settle on the floor outside the closet. 

Rosé scoots across the carpet until she’s close enough to take one of Jennie’s hands. “Back to your chaos, if that’s what we’re calling it. Is it too soon to ask you what you’re gonna do?” 

Jennie groans, pulling the oversized hood over her head. 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes.” 

“I just want to get through the wedding,” Jennie states, voice muffled by the soft fabric. “I’m getting married tomorrow! And I don’t want anything to - to ruin it. Or make things weird, or more stressful than they already are. I mean, fuck, I think my halmeoni is already upset that we’re not doing a traditional wedding. Imagine if she finds out I got knocked up before marriage!” 

“Okay, then we’ll make sure no one finds out tomorrow.” Lisa glances at everyone and you all nod in a wordless pact. “We’ll do whatever it takes to make sure your day is as perfect as you’ve planned. You know we will!” 

“Does Yoongi know?”

Jennie peels her hood back to look at you. She shakes her head. 

“I took the test this morning, after he left for work. I’ve been so busy lately that I didn’t even realize I was late until today! Ji was the first person to find out when she showed up, and then she called the rest of you.” She pauses, fiddling with her sleeves again. “I think I’m going to wait to tell him until after the wedding. We’ll need to have a serious talk, and there’s too much going on right now.” She glances up. “Is that - do you think that’s okay?” 

Once again, she seems lost. This time, when you go in for a hug, Rosé joins you. 

“Babe, you can tell him whenever you’re ready! It’s your body.” 

“Yeah, but we’re in this together…”

“And you’ll be in it together still, no matter if you tell him today or tomorrow or next week.” Jisoo declares. She holds the mug out to Jennie. “And we’ll be here too.” 

“Yes. Maybe this is good chaos. Maybe it’s bad. It’s up to you to decide how to react - how to move forward. Whatever you decide, you know we’ll be by your side the whole time,” you declare, your sentiments echoed by the other girls. 

Jennie blows lightly on the steaming drink. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you guys,” she says, choking up slightly, and everyone else starts talking at once. 

“You deserve the world!” Rosé coos. 

Lisa shakes her head. “We’re the lucky ones, babe, having you in our lives!”

“How’m I gonna depuff your face if you keep crying?” Jisoo tuts. 

You just rise to your feet, laughing. “Come on. Ji said something about manicures earlier. Let us pamper you today, so you’re ready to knock Yoongi off his apparently very talented feet tomorrow.”

NOW

The officiant is only a few minutes late, and the ceremony goes off without a single hitch. You and the other bridesmaids join the groomsmen flanking Yoongi at the altar. In addition to Jin, there’s Yoongi’s brother Geum-jae, and two of his friends from work, Yi-jeong and Woosung.

As a string quartet plays the wedding march, Jennie walks down the aisle, beaming more brightly than the sun, and you catch a glimpse of Yoongi’s face, bearing such an openly reverent expression that it makes your eyes flood with tears. The officiant begins his speech, and Jennie and Yoongi stare at one another as if the rest of the world has fallen away, with nothing left but the two of them and their love.

Watching them almost feels like you’re intruding on a private moment, so you turn your face to the rows of guests, searching without thought for Jungkook, smiling when you find him already gazing your way. Your chest nearly buzzes as warmth spreads there, matching the glow in his eyes. 

Because Jennie and Yoongi chose to take photos before the ceremony, there’s no cocktail hour after the ceremony. Instead, everyone is seated for dinner. The happy couple sits at a table for two on a small dais in the front of the room. 

There are no tables large enough for the entire wedding party. There are also no seating arrangements for all of you, either. Jennie had worked very hard on the seating chart for all of the guests except the wedding party. (“You guys figure it out. I’m tired.”) So you quickly claim a seat at one of the two empty tables left open, with Jungkook taking the spot next to you on one side and Jisoo the other, with Rosé next to her. 

As the wait staff brings out the first course, you slide your chair a little closer to Jungkook. “Hey. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that Jin would be here.” 

Jungkook’s eyes widen slightly. “Oh. Jagi, it’s ok.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure it is,” you reply. “That was not the way I wanted to introduce the two of you. It was, uh, not ideal.” 

Jungkook’s silent as he sips his water. He works his bottom lip between his teeth again, and you wish you could see inside his head, could get some sense of what he’s thinking, because sitting here waiting for him to say something makes your stomach churn a bit.  

Finally, he sighs, reclining back in his seat as he looks at you. “I’m sorry if I made that uncomfortable. I wasn’t expecting to see him.” 

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t mention he was part of the wedding. Truly, it slipped my mind.” Repeatedly. You bite your lip, struggling to figure out what to say. This doesn’t have to be a thing, but you also don’t want them at each other’s throats all night. “But there’s no reason it has to be weird or ruin the night. Because I’m here with you, Kookie. Not him.” 

Your pulse begins to pound. It’s like you’ve just laid your heart on the line. Jungkook’s furrowed brows relax, doe eyes blinking slowly as he absorbs your words. 

“Is this seat taken?” 

You turn to find Jin standing with a hand on the empty chair across from you. 

Jisoo lets out a tiny “Yessss, game on,” and you covertly kick her under the table. 

“Uh, I think Lisa is going to -” Glancing around, you don’t finish your sentence as you spy your friend sitting with the groomsmen. Oh, right. Lisa has her eye on Yi-jeong, having basically all but explicitly called dibs that morning when she saw him in his tuxedo. You can’t really blame her. “Nevermind.” 

“Please, join us,” Jungkook offers, gesturing to the table. He says it so kindly that you can’t help but gawk at him in surprise. He doesn’t meet your gaze, but his palm rests on your thigh, rubbing lightly. Reassuringly. 

Your heartbeat returns to normal as Jin smiles. “Thanks.” 

Despite the ceremony being so modern, Jennie and Yoongi opted for more traditional dishes for dinner. For several minutes, there’s mostly an easy silence over the table, as everyone enjoys the janchi guksu and banchan in front of them, only the noise of clinking utensils filling the air. Well, that and the sound of the servers running back and forth to the bar, trying to keep up with drink orders. 

Jisoo, as usual, is the first one to break the silence.

“Okay, Jin, professional opinion on the guksu?” 

Jin chews thoughtfully for a few minutes. “I think they went a little heavy on the spicy soy sauce in the broth, but the noodles are just as tender as the ones I make. Oh, but you’ve had my noodles, YN, what do you think? Do they compare?” 

All eyes focus on you, including Jungkook’s. You swallow quickly. “Um, I think these are just as good! And I really like the broth, to be honest.” 

“You do like it spicy,” Jungkook murmurs under his breath, quiet enough that only you can hear him, and when you glance over, you’re met with that teasing smirk of his. It’s back again. For some reason, that’s more comforting to you than Jungkook’s hand on your thigh. Your heart does a somersault. It’s getting a real workout tonight. 

“You know, I never really thought about it, but it must be hard for you to eat in public. People are probably always asking you for your opinions on their food, or tips on how to make it better,” Rosé says. 

Jin shrugs. “Comes with the territory, I guess. I’m not gonna complain if people value what I think - and I’m always happy to help anyone improve their skills.” He swirls his wine glass before taking a sip. “But I suppose there can be a downside, too. Sometimes I just want to enjoy a meal without being asked to provide a full critique.” 

“I can understand that,” Jungkook replies. Again the other heads at the table swivel. 

“You can?” 

Jungkook nods. “Yeah. Like, right now, I bet you’re all expecting me to be the first on the dance floor, right?” He laughs as everyone suddenly becomes very interested in their meals. “It’s okay. That’s how it is whenever I’m out with friends. I can’t just sit at the bar and have a drink. And I definitely can’t just sway with the crowd. Everyone expects me to show off.” 

“I mean, I’m definitely hoping to see you turn up,” Rosé confirms, and Jungkook laughs again, gesturing at his point being proven. 

“Sure, that sounds annoying. But outside of going out with your friends, how often are you in a situation where you’re asked to dance? People stop me everywhere. When I’m out shopping. When I’m on a plane. I even once had someone ask me for deglazing tips while I was at a funeral! It’s not quite the same as being asked to do the robot at the club.” Jin shakes his head dismissively. 

Rosé mumbles, “I thought you weren’t gonna complain…?”

The two men eye each other for a few seconds as you hold your breath. Then Jungkook huffs out a laugh. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s not the same. That sucks, dude.” 

You exhale, settling back in your seat. 

Jin just hums, eyes darting back and forth between you and Jungkook before he speaks. “I suppose it’s just a small price to pay for being so successful.” He tips his wine glass back, emptying it. “Where are the servers hiding? I need a refill.” 

“See, this is one of the benefits of being a financial analyst - absolutely no one wants to talk to me about what I do,” you grin. 

“That’s because no one understands what you do,” Jisoo declares. 

“She’s right.” 

“Thanks, Rosé.” 

Jisoo points her spoon at Jungkook. “Okay, but real talk, you are going to dance tonight, aren’t you? You wouldn’t deny us a show!”

“Ji, we just had an entire conversation about this!” you groan, throwing your hands up. “Can you not?”

“What? I’m just saying! The man is a born performer. Right?” 

She looks at Jungkook, who nearly chokes on his wine in his haste to answer.

“Uh. Yes?” 

“Right. So there’s no way you’ll leave us disappointed.”  

“Let me get this straight - if Jungkook doesn’t dance for you, you’ll be disappointed?” you ask. “Hold on while I call Jimin and Taehyung real quick. Wait, sorry, I mean Min and Tae.” 

“All I know is suffering,” Jisoo sighs.

“Oh, relax, Kitty Cat,” Rosé giggles, nearly doubling over at the confused look on Jin’s face. 

As Jisoo loudly laments her choice of friends, Jungkook bends towards you, mouth brushing your ear. 

“Don’t worry, jagi, whether or not I dance here, you can still have a private performance later. I’d never deny you.”

Heat works its way through your body as you shift in your seat, squirming slightly from the low rumble of his voice and the promise laced within. There’s a sudden prickling at the nape of your neck, that nagging sensation of someone watching you, but when you follow the feeling and glance over at Jin, he’s staring at his empty wine glass. 

The tapping of a fork against stemware draws your attention to the married couple’s table. To your immense relief, Yoongi and Jennie had decided to nix the best man and maid of honor toasts, opting to say a few words themselves. Normally, Jennie does all the talking for the pair, but to your surprise, Yoongi rises to his feet, and the room falls silent.

“Jennie and I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for coming. It means the world to us that you took the time out of your busy lives to celebrate with us.” He glances down at his bride, who smiles back, and Yoongi’s gummy grin gets bigger than you’ve ever seen it. “As you all know, Jennie and I have been together since our first year of college. We’ve been through so much together - college, grad school, finding jobs, losing jobs, moving from apartment to apartment - but we weathered it all, because we always had each other.” 

Jennie’s cheeks are wet as she smiles at her husband. Yoongi takes her hand. 

“Jennie, I don’t know what life has to throw at us yet, but I want you to know that I’m never worried, as long as I have you by my side.” He presses a kiss to the back of her hand, and there’s a chorus of awwww’s from the guests, including yourself. Jisoo rolls her eyes, but they’re already spilling over with tears, and you poke her in the side as she laughs.  

“Here’s to you, my love. And to all of you with us here tonight. We can’t thank you enough for your love and support. Geonbae!” He raises his glass.

“Cheers!” his brother shouts, and the cry is echoed around the room as everyone raises their glasses to the couple. 

Just when you think you couldn’t be happier, once again you feel a hand slip into yours, pressing palm to palm, fingers threading through. Jungkook doesn’t say a word, too busy clinking his drink against everyone else’s, but his hand tightens around yours when you look at him, and you feel as though you could float right through the ceiling if it weren’t for his strong grip. 

To think that you nearly hadn’t asked him to come here with you. What a mistake that would’ve been. Thank god you’d ignored the constant fear and doubt in your head and listened only to the steady sureness of your heart. 

You’re getting better at it.

YESTERDAY

After you coax her out of the closet, you and your friends turn Jennie’s apartment into a mini spa, trying to help the bride-to-be relax. By mid-afternoon, as everyone is giving each other manicures, you realize that the window on your day with Jungkook is swiftly closing, so you text him to let him know you won’t be coming home any time soon. 

Not long after that, the door to Jennie’s apartment opens, and Yoongi walks in, trailed by Jin. 

Jennie greets her fiancé happily, hugging him with her hands held straight out so as not to smudge her pretty new pink tips. “You’re home early!”

“Couldn’t focus. Decided to call it a day.” As ever, Yoongi seems completely unfazed to see you and your friends at his apartment. Sometimes you wonder what it would take to ruffle him. Probably something extreme like the zombie apocalypse. “Figured I’d grab my stuff and then get some dinner with Jin.” 

Although they weren’t holding to every tradition, Jennie had insisted that they spend the night before the wedding apart. So Yoongi would be crashing at Jin’s tonight. 

Jin nods at the sound of his name. “By ‘get some dinner’, he means ‘take advantage of his friend’s restaurant and score a free meal.’” 

“As if you weren’t the one who offered,” Yoongi drawls, ignoring Jin’s squeaky chuckling.

“Sounds good, baby,” Jennie smiles as Yoongi presses a kiss to her cheek before he shuffles down the hallway towards their bedroom. “Do you guys wanna get some takeout?” 

While Lisa, Rosé, and Jennie argue about what they feel like eating, Jin catches your eye. “Hey, you got a second?” He jerks his head towards Jennie’s kitchen. Rising from the couch, you follow, closing the door behind you. 

“What’s u-oh!” Your question becomes an exclamation when Jin suddenly pulls you in for a hug, long arms wrapping around your waist as he holds you tight. 

“Just wanted to get you alone,” he says, nose brushing yours as he smiles. “Hi.” 

This is where the butterflies should come in. Standing this close to this incredible specimen of a man, this paragon of perfection, would normally send them flittering through you. Shivers should be running down your spine. Any number of excited reactions should be happening right now. 

Right. 

Now. 

Except… they’re not. 

“Hi,” you echo, grinning a bit weakly. Jin doesn’t seem to notice anything wrong with your smile, locking his hands behind your back. 

“I heard you got some good news today.” 

Your eyes widen as your stomach goes into freefall. 

“You know?” 

How? How on earth could he know about Jennie being pregnant?? Shit, did Lisa leave the pee stick out somewhere? Jisoo told her to put it -

“Of course I know! It’s my show.” 

“It’s your show?” What the fuck does that mean??

Jin honks in delighted laughter at your obvious confusion. “The interview Wendy emailed you about - that’s for my show! The one Nosh picked up?” 

The room tilts as gravity returns your stomach to normal. “Oh! Oh, wow!” Of course. The new project Wendy had referenced - it was Jin’s cooking show! “Wait, so we might be working together?” 

“Yes! Er, maybe! I don’t know how closely or whatever, but basically, the Nosh execs told me Wendy’s firm is responsible for budgeting and figuring out revenue streams and - and that’s really all I remember, sorry.” He laughs. “Most of what they said went straight over my head, to be honest. But I spoke to her on a conference call today and she told me they had an open position for the team that’s assigned to my show, and she’d asked you to interview.” 

“Wow, that’s really…” you trail off, lost in thought. “Isn’t it… the other night at the networking reception, weren’t you saying it might be a travel show?” You have a vague memory of Jin telling you what he wanted to do with his show if it got picked up by a network.

“That’s right. I pitched it as an exploration of local delicacies that often get overlooked by tourists. I’ll be going around the country, visiting tiny, off the beaten path restaurants and bars, and learning how to make their favorite dishes.” 

Traveling for work. That was one of the perks Wendy had rattled off when she’d given you the sales pitch for her company. So, if you got this job, did that mean you’d be traveling with Jin? 

Your mind is already wandering, thinking about what this new job might entail, when Jin brings a hand up to cup your face. His thumb traces your jawline. 

“Wouldn’t it be amazing? You and I, on the road together. Me, discovering new meals to cook for you…” His voice drops, a low murmur meant only for you to hear. “Maybe picking up some new dance moves to show off…” 

He rolls his hips slightly, jostling you right out of your tumultuous thoughts. 

“Doesn’t that sound good?” 

“It does,” you reply, mouth moving on autopilot, not waiting for your head to decide if it agrees. 

“I know I haven’t had the time to take you out properly, and I’m sorry for that. But this is my chance to show you that I’m still in this.” He sucks in a deep breath. “I like you. And I’m hoping it’s not too late for me to say that.” 

If this were a romantic movie, the music would swell now, strings soaring as he tips your mouth towards his. It’s a perfect moment, lush lips caressing yours, sweet and unhurried, lingering like he doesn’t care if anyone else walks in. 

It’s a perfect moment, for sure. Just, not for you. 

“Jin,” you begin, stepping out of his embrace, “I need to tell you something.” 

A/N Pt. 2: To be continued!! (Sorry, the chapter was getting a bit long and this felt like a natural stopping point… what do we think so far??)

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© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

[fandomlurker333]

A lot of people are screaming throuple and just writing the porn (which I get! It’s fun!). But reading them come is not enough for me. lol Toxicity is hot until it’s just damaging and sad for everyone. I want real happiness for these three weirdos.

The end of the film was meant to be the very beginning of something. Just the spark of an idea of them coming back to one another. But the real work starts after. 

And I think it would probably be a step-by-step thing. 

I can see Patrick and Art working to draw closer, with that strong foundation of their childhoods to build off of. Obviously having to resolve the hurt that so much time and distance caused them, and both being willing to forgive. But it’s clear at the end of the film that the door is open for that. They grew up together. There’s a real root of knowing that I think could carry them through the toughest parts early on. Their relationship evolving feels possible.

And Tashi and Art’s marriage would find some breathing room and maybe even some renewed delight for having Patrick present and loving on them both. Kinda seeing each other again through his eyes type thing. Remembering they’re more than who they have been to each other for over a decade (both operating in one mode to survive, never quite enough for each other -- not totally fulfilled and not appreciated in their fullness).

I don’t think Patrick and Tashi would be having sex at this point, but I can see like….tennis dates where they bicker. Just them all learning how to be in each other’s space for extended periods of time and enjoy it.

And maybe Art wouldn’t resent Tashi so much for not being able to give him everything (so much has been taken from her — she just doesn’t have all that much left. She’s been doing her best.) and maybe Tashi would feel more at peace seeing them play each other and knowing Art is really loving tennis, not just playing for her. Connecting with them both in that space and finding joy in tennis again, so it’s not just routine and pain and loss for her.

With that healing happening concurrently (with therapists as support, of course), I think they’d get far. And then once those relationships are more secure, once Art and Tashi learn how they relate to each other when he isn’t winning for her (which would be something new. They don’t know what that looks like yet!) then Patrick and Tashi, having learned way more about themselves in relationship and how to communicate, might start working on their side of the triangle lol. 

I could see them all exploring and working out the intimacy over time — not just sex, but intimacy -- what do they each need and how do they need it? And kink too, the various ways they each want/need to give or receive so they all feel truly satisfied.

And of course they’ll be partners co-parenting. All of them.

I can see Tashi finally grieving her injury, the life she lost, and rediscovering her love of tennis, not to win, but for the joy of being on the court. Her sobs the first time she plays again and it’s not competitively, just a little volley, but it’s like she’s finally alive again. Reminding herself she’s a leader in tennis the space still, that she can build success in that world even without Art’s career, but maybe it looks different. I see a healed Tashi learning to enjoy teaching kids. Taking on more protege. And letting Art and Patrick come help at her tennis camps. 

Art retiring like he said he wanted, running the foundation as Tashi steps back. Realizing that he’s actually pretty good at this business thing and going back to school for a Master’s in nonprofit leadership. Meeting new people. Making friends (that aren’t Patrick). Getting invited to a pottery class and seeing he loves to work with his hands. Playing tennis with Patrick on the weekends.

And my heart for stay-at-home dad Patrick. Who always forgets to change over the laundry and leaves his keys everywhere and puts the babies' shoes on the wrong feet. But my god he loves those kids so goddamn much. Patrick learning to cook for the family and getting really good at it like he does anything he hyper-focuses on. Patrick finally having a home with the two people he loves most and figuring out how to create some routine and stability for himself within that container.

The love in that home. Ugh. I think it’s possible! I think they can do it! It just takes work. 

[mikareo]

⌗ SEASONS OF LOVE ₊ ˖ ་. a 呪術廻戦 miniseries

“ ࣭⸰ ★ SERIAL ROMANTIC ; gojo satoru x fem reader ⠀ ꒰ . . episode one ! ꒱ . . . word count; 1.2k ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᯇ remember when we first met?

⊹ ⠀⠀ you might possibly be the least helpful person in the world when it comes to making a hinge profile...gojo can attest to that.

contains; gojo satoru x fem reader, university (year 2) au, fluff, gojo's a dick, swearing, best friends to lovers, love triangle

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀pm or send ask to join/be removed from taglist,, ⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀link to miniseries masterlist

"y'know, i'd appreciate it if you could help at least a little bit."

gojo can feel your hard glare targeting him, piercing into his skull like a red laser beam, yet still chooses to ignore you. he doesn't understand why you can't just finish unpacking later. you're kind of being a buzzkill. yes, he'd be a better friend if he continued to help you unpack your boxes and organize your cluttered dormitory; but he's got more important things to do. things that require his complete and utmost attention. things that are life or death on a college campus. things that will make or break his entire young adult experience...

...things like finishing his hinge profile!

"i promise— wait no. i pinky promise i'll put all of your shit away later, just tell me which photos to pick for this prompt, i'm stuck." he's begging and pleading for you to focus on him, which isn't unusual when dealing with a narcissist such as himself. c'mon. c'mon. gojo knows exactly how to win you over. it really isn't that hard. all he has to do is beg and whine a little, give you some puppy dog eyes, and you'll do whatever he says! there's no way he's actually going to put all of your clothes away; that'll take like...forever.

with an eye roll in response to the cheer of joy gojo lets out, you set your boxes to the side and lay beside him on the carpet. he can feel your nose tickling his neck as you lean close to see his screen, and he wonders why his heart skips a beat. eh, it's probably nothing.

"this is so dumb, satoru." you point to his screen, your finger directed at his favorite prompt so far.

don't hate me if i: have blue eyes

"okay, wait!" he flicks your forehead, laughing as you pout, and clicks on the 'add image' prompt. "it's like a thing now! girls hate guys with baby blues like mine!" being handsome is so hard nowadays.

if he asked anyone at jujutsu university who the biggest player on campus is, they'd name him off without blinking twice. while only being a freshman last year, gojo managed to become a household (or a dorm-hold?) name that'll be talked about for years after he graduates. there may be a possibility he's either flirted or made out with every girl in his graduating class, not including you, all in one school year. without the use of dating apps, he went on a total of eighty-seven first dates from august to june; albiet seeing a few girls more than a few times for some special alone time, if you get what he means; and he had the absolute time of his life and needs to recreate that thrill again.

"you don't need an app to get girls, you get plenty already."

ugh why do you always have to rain on his parade?

"obviously i don't need an app, but it's way more fun this way." he argues, "imagine if i hit a hundred first dates before may. i'd break last year's record."

"and why are you getting so butt-hurt about my dating life?" he's treading into dangerous territory. the two of you never talk about your romantic experiences, considering you never want to talk about them with him. "it's not my fault you had a total of...hm what was it? zero dates last year?"

"just find a fucking photo and get this over with."

yeah, your love life is off limits...

a chuckle rumbles from his throat as gojo continues scrolling through his camera roll, searching for a photo that screams 'boyfriend material'...or to be more specific 'one night stand material'. while he's searching for a photo that'll make girls want to sleep with him, he doesn't notice that his brightest smiles only appear in the photos with you. then again, he never notices you; and if he ever did, it's unlikely he'd date you anyways. you're his best friend. he doesn't want to ruin that. he can't ruin that, because then he'd have to imagine a life without you in it.

a particular picture stands out from the rest, and you choose to point it out. it's the two of you in your high school uniforms, standing side-by-side beneath the cherry blossoms after your third year graduation ceremony. his hair is slightly shorter and his height hadn't reached its full potential yet, but you look absolutely adorable— almost like a kitten that he's protecting from the no-good boys of the world (technically he belongs in that category, but that's besides the point).

"do you remember when we first met?" a soft hum is murmured in his ear and gojo finds the sound quite comforting.

he thinks for a moment, completely blanking as the memory escaped his mind, and takes a random guess. "middle school? english class?"

the look of disappointment on your face immediately tells him he's wrong.

"look it was a really long time ago, i know that at least." no amount of excuses will make up for his awful recollection, but he tries nonetheless. gojo satoru is a shitty friend. that's just how it is. you both know it and he tries his best to be better for you, however, he can't help the way he is. some boys are born to be boys. "i'm trying my best—"

"it's alright, just stop."

you're so upset.

"there are more important things to remember, really it's fine."

why are you so upset?

"i'm sorry," he mumbles. this feeling of guilt isn't familiar to gojo and he can't help but hate it. "i'll try to remember."

what is it that you were trying to reminisce about? he wants to know but he shouldn't pry any more, you're clearly done with the conversation and want to move on with a concentrated thinking face gracing your features. you look pretty. woah. you look really pretty. he's never thought that before. why hasn't he noticed before? suddenly, the thought of however many hinge girls want him isn't very appealing and he just wants to make you smile again. you're so pretty when you smile. his heart is beating ten times faster than usual and he's urging it to calm down, but it won't.

...maybe that's a good thing, though.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀pm or send ask to join/be removed from taglist,, ⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀link to miniseries masterlist

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⊹₊｡ reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹

[wonijinjin]

KIM MINGYU (+ JEON WONWOO) - BITTERSWEET

author’s note: this is a fic for the @caratsland event, it was a very long process to write but i am proud of this fic, my first true long fic and angst, hope you guys enjoy! inspired by the song bittersweet.

song recs: recommended songs for this fic are bittersweet by wonwoo mingyu and leehi (obviously hehe), i don’t understand but i luv u by seventeen,

synopsis: can two broken hearts find peace, happiness, and heal each other?

word count: 5.2k | genre: heavy angst, hurt/comfort, love triangle | pairings: wonwoo x f! reader, mingyu x f! reader | warnings: mentions of alcohol, heartbreaks, cursing, bad mental health, mentions of food, tiny bit of physical fighting

mingyu had always been in love with you, since the moment he met you; he couldn’t get you out of his head, it was something about the way you smiled at him or the way your eyes lit up when you saw him. just like as if he was put under a magical spell, he was mesmerised by you, he felt like you were his soulmate.

except, this was not a fairytale. this was real life.

“hey, you seem like you just got dumped or something let me treat you to a drink, okay?” a guy next to you observed.

he could recall the the first time you two had met like it was yesterday. it happened to be in a place odd enough; a bar. you had the first heartache of your life and went out to drink your pain away and happened to sit next to him at the bar.

“is it that obvious?” you laughed weakly. he offered a grin in return. “i know a broken heart when i see one.” he said with the same smile on his face. “speaking from experience?” you blurted, a bit tipsy, hands clamping onto your mouth following the remark. his soft look saddened. “sorry, didn’t wanna pry into your life.” you apologised, shame rising in you. “no worries.” he said reassuringly. he saw your almost empty glass and got back to the topic. “so, which one is the lucky drink today?” he joked, motioning for you to choose one from the menu on the table. “surprise me.” you said, playing along with his silly game. “my pleasure.” he faked a bow in sitting position, tilting his head. “you have to turn around or at least not look at the drink, it isn’t gonna be a surprise if you do.” he emphasized, “don’t worry, i am not gonna put anything in it, she can assure you about that, right?” he projected his gaze towards the bartender who nodded siletly. “okay then, but it better be good.” you giggled, twisting your body in the opposite direction so you couldn’t see the drink itself. after the bartender finished the mysterious beverage, she handed it to you, and you accepted it. “thanks.” you returned her kind smile and took a sip of your drink, not knowing what kind of alcohol it contained. “tequila? you have a good taste.” you said after tasting the medicine-like bitterness on your tongue. he laughed out loud. “it is said to be curing heartbreaks.” he told. “i mean it is indeed bitter, might as well be the solution for stress too, isn’t it?” you mumbled in a melancolic tone. he put his hand out for you to shake. “i’m mingyu by the way.” he grinned. you couldn’t surpress the smile that made its way onto your face, and shook his hand firmly. “y/n. nice to meet you, mingyu.”

“i can’t believe you don’t want to tell me his name, after all the times i heard you dreaming about him in front of me! you know how sappy you can be when daydreaming?” fast forward to three years later you guys were sitting in your bedroom, and mingyu was listening to your rambles about your long time crush, jeon wonwoo. he didn’t know it was him though, of course he didn’t know; wonwoo was initially a friend of his, but after stepping foot into mingyu’s inner circle years ago you got to know him yourself, and fell for him. hard. mingyu didn’t know how hard it was to not let him in on this, you truly wished you could have his support, but you had no choice. he was your best friend; you really appreciated mingyu with a full heart, but you just couldn’t tell him your biggest secret, not after failing in love so many times, after all the occasions he had to pick up and glue back together the broken pieces of your heart, you wanted to spare him from having to deal with your bullshit for another time, even so having the possibility of choosing between his friend and you if things didn’t end well.

”y/n, we have been over this so many times, you should ask him out already! i cannot go another week, no, another minute with you whining about it!” he teased you, resulting in you blushing. he loved seeing you blush; you were really pretty with a dust of pink on your face, especially if he knew he was the reason why you got shy. “mingyu, stop! i already told you i am not about to get my heart broken another time!” when you said this sentence he became more serious. he was there for you after you two had met at the bar and you suffered the consequences of a rejection from the first guy you loved in your life. and he had been there for all the heartbreaks ever since, building your confidence up again and again, from nothing. he knew how much that hurt you and on second thought he never wished to see you in that state ever again. “you know what, i might as well take that back.” he agreed, to which you looked at your knees, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. he understood well what played out in your head; he knew you like the back of his hand. he forced you to look into his eyes, a firm look on his face. “look, i don’t want you to get that sad you were when we met. you are my best friend.” he paused for a moment. “all i want is to see you happy. however, for once, you need your happy ending, and that takes many tries sometimes.” you gave him a sad smile. “i know you do, mingyu, i know. and thank you for being here and supporting me. one day i will tell you about him. be patient. please?” you pleaded, and he gave you a determined nod, getting on with your conversation, putting this heavy topic aside for your sake.

“i am so sorry y/n, but i am afraid that i can’t reciprocate your feelings.” wonwoo said, but you didn’t hear it. all you could focus on was holding your tears back, so you didn’t seem any more patethic than you already were, pouring out your heart to him, getting it shattered into millions of pieces. you asked him to meet you at the park for a walk, thinking your next move through after your conversation with mingyu and deciding that you had enough of the waiting and you needed to confess. well, it was definitely a stupid idea. you honestly didn’t know what you had expected; you saw the way he looked at that one girl from the coffee shop he worked at part time, they worked together most of the time, being almost the only ones who ran the place besides the owner. he obviously liked her, not you, but you confessed anyways, what a waste of time and energy.

“it is totally fine wonwoo, it’s okay, no worries! let’s just forget this ever happened, okay?” it was not fine. you were not fine, but still managed to put a forced smile on your face, as big as it could get. “but i should really go now, i forgot about something!” you turned on your heels, choking back the tears you had been holding. “but y/n wait-“ he said but you cut him off. “see you later, bye!” you managed to get out while already running away. you didn’t know where your legs were taking you, but one thing was sure; anywhere just to be away from wonwoo. while hurrying to go to a quieter place to let your emotions out you bumped into someone. “sorry.” you stuttered; when you looked up above the wide shoulders in your vision you saw mingyu’s face with confusion written all over it. his eyes widened “what are you doing here-“ he tried to question, but you pushed him away and started running down the street. “what is going on?” he shouted after you, but didn’t follow; he knew you and how you liked to have your space when getting upset over something, so he never forced you to talk about the issues with him. he would always just text you right after hearing the news and eventually you would come to him yourself; you always did.

but not this time.

he waited for days.

weeks.

months.

you never spoke about what happened that day and what upset you, or about the thing that made you distance yourself from your friends, including him. after that particular day he rarely saw you, and when he did it was only on occasions when just the two of you hung out; that was all he could get you to do, very rarely. when the other guys organised group gatherings you usually cancelled them with some lame excuse last minute; he never believed them, but he stayed silent.

after another few weeks of the situation not getting better he wanted to take action to find out what was wrong, so he made a plan to invite you for a drink at your favourite place.

“mingyu i am very busy and you know that.” you said over the phone when he called you in the afternoon. there was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. “please, we haven’t hung out in like, forever. i miss you, y/n. i really do.” your heart jumped in fear; you had been avoiding all your friends on purpose, but not mingyu, no, you would never want to do that to him. you felt guilt creeping up on you as you could imagine his big puppy dog eyes looking at you, pleading for you to soften and give in to him, which you of couse did. you sighed. “you may be right, i did neglect our friendship. i am sorry mingyu. so, where are we going?” he shouted in excitement. “yes! i knew you would give in to me y/n, you cannot resist me.” he joked to which even if he couldn’t see it, you raised an eyebrow and rolled your eyes. “in your dreams, silly.” you answered. “we are going to your favourite bar! just like old times, remember?” he giggled; that place held so many memories to both of you, laughing or crying, didn’t matter, you loved being there with him. “so just the usual, got it. see you there, text me the exact date. bye mingyu.” you hung up, worry already being heavy on your shoulders; you knew you had to come clean about what happened months ago. although mingyu knew you very well, you did too, so you didn’t doubt that eventually he would ask about the reason of your social distancing, looking like that time had come.

mingyu greeted you at the usual seats in the corner of one of the private rooms; they were basically reserved for you guys, considering how many times you had been sitting in them, talking about this and that, in this case your love life being on the menu of the chit-chat. “so y/n, let’s get to the point.” he started, and you already knew the continuation. “i think you understand why i called you here without me needing to explain in detail. it has been months since that incident. so, tell me. what’s up? are you okay?” he pouted. mingyu was an emotional guy, he really cared for the well-being of his closest friends and he always made it his mission to help them, you frequently being one of his top priorities. if he wanted to be honest he cared for you ten times more than his other friends, they could solve their problems on their own; however, you relied on him a lot, which he didn’t mind; he got used to it pretty quickly, enjoying being trusted by the person whom he adored so much in this world. you looked at him with a heavy heart, tension being so nerve-wrecking while you contemplated whether you would make the right choice by speaking about wonwoo. “sorry ‘gyu, i just couldn’t bring myself to tell you, but i guess now i cannot run away, i know you would figure it out yourself anyways” you turned to him, talking slowly. he listened attentively, encouraging you to go on. “…so here i am, telling you the secret you have been so eager to know. i should start at the very beginning, right?”

“then he rejected me.” you cried into his chest, his arms wrapping around your form protectively. “he fucking rejected me! after all the years i have spent loving him from a distance i succesfully mustered up the courage to tell him, and this is what i get mingyu!” your cries continued steadily, and mingyu was quick to stroke your hair, patting it repeatedly. “why does nobody i love loves me back? do i not deserve happiness in life? am i unloveable, ‘gyu?” you looked into his eyes, tears pricking your own; he could see the pain you had been through in the past few months. he knew how hard it was for you to get over even a crush, not talking about real love. he could see it on you; that you really loved wonwoo, sincerely. it was easy to tell, really; if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have been so upset for this long. and this is exactly why he was really mad at his friend for breaking your heart. “of course you are loveable y/n. gosh, you are the most loveable person i have ever known, so stop with the nonsense. he doesn’t deserve you. he doesn’t deserve the love you have in you, the jokes you make that make everyone want to laugh immediately, the look you give to people you adore and respect, the way your eyes light up when you see a cute dog, or the way you cannot resist those delicious cookies they sell at the bakery next to your apartment and buy them every time they have them freshly out from the oven. he wouldn’t appreciate the meals you cook by yourself and decide to share with your friends, the kind words you have towards everyone, every day, or the help you offer to others without hesitation, even if it puts you at a disadvantage.” he finished his monologue, taking your hands into his. “you deserve the most happiness there is on this planet.” he whispered, almost looking like he was afraid if he said it any louder you would disappear into thin air. “do you really think so?” you mumbled, voice hoarse from crying so much in the span of an hour. “i know so.” he said gently, hugging you softly. “so, is this the reason why you have been avoiding the group meetings? you didn’t want to look into his eyes after the confession?” he gave you a knowing look, having caught on pretty quickly, not to your surprise though; mingyu was a smart guy, he connected the dots easily. you just nodded silently, too embarrassed to say anything about it. it wasn’t the first time you had gotten emotional with mingyu, but this felt different; you weren’t that young anymore, it wasn’t a silly little crush, or a minor inconvenience. regardless, it felt great to have him back and involved with your life again, after these painfully long weeks you admittedly missed his presence an awful lot. you grew more tired with time and closed your eyes when you heard him whisper. ”everything will be okay y/n.” he promised, and you started to believe him.

“so, it was you all along. i should’ve known.” mingyu laughed bitterly while walking up to wonwoo; they were in the practice room, tension already high thanks to new choreography, however the pair had been holding back as much as they could, until the day mingyu found out about you and wonwoo. he squeezed wonwoo’s shoulder, maybe a bit harder than comfortable or necessary. “gosh, i don’t understand. what’s so special about you?” he wondered out loud regarding the rethorical question, gritting his teeth, clearly for the other to hear it. “what is your problem mingyu? what the hell are you even talking about?” the shorter one quizzed, not getting the point of mingyu’s words. “you literally broke y/n’s heart. never took you for the type to hurt others.” mingyu spat out, disgusted by the words rolling off his tongue. realisation hit wonwoo, and he frowned upon remembering the memory. “i wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings.” wonwoo calmly replied. “damn brother, you really outdid yourself with that one there.” mingyu commented again while not even paying attention to his friend, walking away. after this wonwoo couldn’t stay silent; he grabbed mingyu and made him look into his black eyes, dangerously shining. “what the fuck ‘gyu? yes, i didn’t reciprocate y/n’s feelings, so what? im sorry, but should i just ignore what my heart says just to save her from heartbreak? look, she will get over it. this doesn’t work like that, but you seem to be having no idea of what love is like-“ “shut the fuck up! you think i don’t know that? that what the heart wants the heart wants? i love her! i love her and she loves you out of all people!” mingyu screamed at him in frustration. “you should’ve made her happy. happier. she deserves happiness with the person she loves the most, even if it’s not me, even it is you, asshole.” mingyu sighed, disappointed. wonwoo’s eyes widened and he covered his mouth with his hands. “so this is what this was all about, your crush on y/n. how couldn’t i notice it earlier?” he wondered in a surprised tone, to which mingyu kicked him in the shin. “of course, yell it out to the whole world, would you?” he mocked wonwoo who kicked him back in the process. “ouch!” the taller one yelped. “this was for yelling at me,” wonwoo stated, “…and this one is for being this big of a coward to tell her how you feel and blaming it on me.” and with that he slapped mingyu’s arm, the man groaning in pain from the impact.

“love really took the remaining braincells in your head didn’t it? stand up for yourself for god’s sake!” wonwoo lectured, wanting mingyu to cut him some slack because he rarely had anything to do with his anger. “you are the one she loves, not me, i will forever stay the best friend in her eyes. my hands are tied here, brother. can’t you give her a chance? just a few dates? maybe you could get to know her a bit more and fall in love.” mingyu suggested in a low tone, not very fond of the idea, but rather desperate to make your dreams come true; he just wanted you to be truly content with your life, even though if it meant getting you together with his friend, he swore on bringing the moon and the stars to you just to see your happiness, even if it broke him into pieces. “seriously? you know that me talking to her will cause more damage, right? and how shitty of a person you think i am to date someone my best friend loves?” wonwoo sighed, scolding mingyu for not thinking more rationally. “i can get over her, but whatever, forget about it.” mingyu said and then stormed out of the practice room. wonwoo followed him and grabbed his arm. “fine, if this is what you want i will do it. then tell her to text me, because i don’t think she even wants to talk to me. she didn’t even wait for me to finish! i didn’t want to sound so harsh, but i didn’t even have the chance to say anything because she stormed off just like you did now!” wonwoo was grumpy, mad even; he liked you, you were a great friend, he just couldn’t see you in a different light, he had never intended to hurt your feelings. “good, i will. i know she hasn’t gotten over you.” mingyu smiled a bit, wonwoo letting his arm go.

mingyu hadn’t heard from you in a few days and you hadn’t been replying to his messages so he decided to surprise you by going to your workplace after your day ended to pick you up and go out to eat something delicious together, but when he arrived at the building and went inside unexpected news greeted him. “what do you mean she hasn’t been to work?” he asked the recetionist at the ground floor after hearig that you weren’t working. “like i said; she has been on sick leave for a few days already.” he was at a loss of words; why didn’t you tell him that you were sick? you knew he could cook you some soup and help if you felt that bad. regardless, he got into his car after thanking the lady for the help and drove to your apartment. after arriving at your doorstep he knocked on the door, but no answer came from you. “y/n? are you there? i heard that you were sick.” again, silence. “i know where you keep your spare key, so if you don’t open the door i will come in myself, don’t do this to me y/n.” he pleaded, trying to keep his cool and not think about how you could be passed out on the floor and seriously hurt, that being the reason why you never replied to him in the first place. he took the key from underneath the mat in front of the door and stepped inside. there was darkness everywhere around the house, only a small source of light coming out from under your bedroom door which was closed. he hurried through the hall where he could clearly make out your crying through the walls. “y/n? are you in here?” following his question the wailing stopped and he heard a gasp, then the door opened, revealing a very tired you; messy hair, dark circles under your eyes, which were by the way red from crying. “aww what’s wrong?” mingyu asked, pulling you into a hug. “at your office they said you were sick. are you?” he asked, not even waiting for an answer, already putting his hand on your forehead. you pushed it away. “no, i’m not. i lied to them. i lied because i am not okay, ‘gyu.” you sobbed, feeling pathetic that you couldn’t get over the heartbreak of wonwoo rejecting you, even though it had been a long time since the incident. “look, i know it hurts, but life goes on y/n. you can’t hide from everyone forever just because someone hurt you. you know how much i love you and how much pain i am in seeing you suffer, but you need to get it together.” you looked up at him, admitting that you indeed had to sort your feelings out. “and also, i might have a solution for you. what if i said that wonwoo wants to hang out with you?” he grinned, looking kind of crazy from your perspective. “mingyu this is not funny!” you pouted, not believing that he would joke about this; this was really out of line from him. “i am being serious y/n, you would know if you read my messages! i sent like a dozen of them that i had important news. he said he wanted to talk to you, maybe go to the park or something? like on a walk? whatever, you two can figure that out yourselves, point is that i delivered his message. now go text him.” he urged you to take action, and being the good girl you are you put your fear aside, accepted his help and texted wonwoo.

it had been months after the first text message regarding the ‘getting to know each other’ agreement between wonwoo and you, and things seemed to be working out pretty well for the two of you, feeling closer and closer to each other day by day. you had to admit, he was an exceptional person with values similar to yours, you had never ever imagined to be clicking with him so quickly; you hoped he felt the same.

“i heard that you and wonwoo get along really well y/n.” mingyu mentioned while walking along the line of the pavement in front of you when the two of you went for grocery shopping for a party the friends of mingyu had been planning for several weeks. you tilted your head and turned it in his direction; you had been talking to and meeting up with wonwoo after sorting things out about the confession, but didn’t expect him to tell mingyu how it had been going.

“did wonwoo talk about me? wow that’s impressive, it really means we are going in a good direction i suppose.” you wondered; you were not sure about where you pre-dating stage was going to lead you as you had not been in contact with wonwoo as much because all of you guys had busy schedules. “yeah, i think he is starting to fall for you. good job!” mingyu patted the crown of your head, just like when the teacher praises the elementary school students for getting an answer right on a test. you had been brighter in the last months, even considering how nothing was guaranteed with wonwoo, taking it slow, you most certainly did look happier, him assuming it must be already enough for your confidence and joy levels to rise to be able to do something with wonwoo, even as friends for the time being. however, mingyu’s heart had been slowly shattering into more pieces by the day; his feelings for you became stronger with time, after you searching for comfort in him on that night at the bar he just couldn’t stop himself from falling for you harder, even with knowing you wouldn’t return those feelings. he had been working on trying to accept the situation, trying to accept his place and role in your life as your best friend; it was not easy.

you chuckled at his action, winking at him in return. “what can i say? it looks like i am irresistable after all, don’t you think?” his face changed very quickly, though it was barely noticeable; for a moment his eyes grew sadder but he regained his composure in just a second and put on a big smile for you. “yeah, i told you so. now let’s get that grocery shopping done.”

when you arrived at the party after going home following the shopping trip to get ready many people had been there already; it was hard to find anyone you knew. you spotted mingyu in the crowd and he locked eyes with you, waving. “y/n! come here!” he shouted through the noise of the music and you pushed yourself through the wave of people in the living room. “hi.“ you greeted the others shyly; it had been many weeks since you participated in a group activity, since the incident with wonwoo. you came because you missed the boys; you didn’t treat them well and they didn;t deserve it, they had always took care of you like you were their family. “hi y/n, nice to have you here.” wonwoo, who just arrived with a few drinks added, giving you a smile.

“can i have this dance?” wonwoo questioned when taking the empty place next to your right side; you were dancing with mingyu to one of your favourite songs, bodies moving to the rhythm in sync. you took a peak at mingyu’s face, looking for a sign that he heard the question too. he gave you a quick nod and let go of your hand, wonwoo taking it instead and leading you further into the crowd of friends. mingyu watched as the two pair of you and wonwoo laughed and talked while moving on the makeshift dancefloor in the room, then disappearing from sight. he stared into the distance with a sad smile on his face, every nerve in his body concentrating on not lettng him be bitter about it and trying to encourage himself to be happy for you; afterall it was what you wanted, wonwoo’s love.

as mingyu turned around the corner of the hallway he caught a glimpse of wonwoo leaning in and slowly kissing you by the kitchen counter, your hands moving to link behind his neck, him pulling you closer, flush against his body. you were lost in the moment so you didn’t hear mingyu’s footsteps come into the room. “oh.” this was all he could manage to get out, words light as a feathery whisper, freezing in place for several seconds, watching the scene unfold in front of him. after seemingly regaining his composure he turned around his heels, planning on going back to the party in the living room. his steps were long, slow even, dragging his limbs like he didn’t have the energy to move forward in any sense possible; he entered the bathroom instead of the space where everybody had been enjoying their night, standing in front of the mirror, watching himself in it closely. he watched as the teardrop he knew he had been holding in slid down his cheek and dropped to the sink below, as the smile he put on for the entire night disappeared, more tears starting to fall with it.

mingyu was a strong person, there was no doubt in that; but even the strongest fighters and warriors get wounded. he let go of the white surface, slowly opening the door as quietly as he could, taking his coat from the hanger it had been placed on before. upon stepping outside into the night he sent a text to his friend informing him about him leaving so they wouldn’t get too worried. he got into the car, driving down the road, arriving at a familiar place; the bar. he bought a drink, then made his way into the usual room, sitting down in the chair which used to be yours, where the two of you would chat for hours about random topics, where he realised that he was falling for you; where it all started. he closed his watery eyes and held his breath, silence and stillness surrounding the place, not the slightest trace of anyone’s presence there, not even his, like he wanted to believe he could vanish if he tried hard enough.

he exhaled; staring at the ceiling, tears continuously coming from those sad chocolate brown orbs, every beat of his heart, the heart that had been beating for you all this time, tearing it a bit further apart. eventually the tears stopped, only a shaky sigh being left behind, mouth open, words forming, but not yet ready to come out. mingyu’s hand reached his cheeks, brushing away the evidence of his walls crumbling down, lifting the drink to his mouth, taking a sip from it.

“goodbye my love.” he whispered to himself while the sip of tequila entered his taste buds; it had never been this bitter.

[poshmygosh]

Sooo I just watched Challengers and I have so many thoughts!!! Warning: this is a long one..

Honestly, I have seen so many interesting takes on this movie (though I'll mainly be discussing one I've seen a lot that I don't agree with at all) and I figured I'd throw my two cents in there lol.

So first and foremost: Tashi is a vital character to this film, as well as Patrick and Art's relationship as we see it int he future.

I"ve seen so many posts saying that "Patrick and Art should just get together, they're the one's that are really in love" or just overall downplaying the role that Tashi has in the film, I don't know if this is just that thing that some mlm shippers do where they erase the woman in the situation so that can just ship the two men, misogynoir, or something else entirely, but this takes generally doesn't make any sense to me. Obviously Patrick and Art loved each other, even before they met Tashi. They had been best friends for years and their friendship was definitely homoerotic at the LEAST, but the idea that they would have been romantic without her is not true. They had never had any sort of romantic interaction, besides jerking off in a room together in separate beds when they were twelve, until Tashi prompted them too in the hotel. I don't think that would have happened otherwise. Beside the fact I do believe that there was some romantic yearning from both of them at times, they were not in the place to actually explore what that means. Patrick had a girlfriend, Art was clearly not in a place to confront the possibility of a sexual situation between them, and they were headed in two completely different directions in life. Tashi being there with them in that moment in the hotel, with them hanging on to her every word, every command allowed for them to feel comfortable being sexual with each other in that moment. Even if she had left that hotel room and the three of them had never interacted again, the night would have been brushed off as just something they did when they were drunk to hook up with a girl, it wouldn't have amounted to relationship, and even if it had she was still an integral part. She is the catalyst to so much of the tension between them, the sex that they might've shared in that hotel room that night if things had continued, and the sex they share on the tennis court 13 years later.

Another hot take: I do think that Tashi loved both of them at different points of the movie, though she loved tennis most of all.

I've seen some people say that the only real love that exists within the triangle is between Patrick and Art, and that Tashi only loved tennis. While I absolutely agree that tennis was the love of her life, I don't at all think that she never had love for Patrick or Art. One of the reasons why she was so bothered by Art saying that Patrick didn't love her when they were eating together at Stanford, was because she DID love him. She puts up a front, she acts like things don't bother her even when they do (is it clear that this trio need to work on their communication lol?) but she does like to show it. I think that this is also evident when her and Patrick are making out in her dorm later. I think some people think that her trying to giver him pointers on how to play better are her trying to be mean or vindictive but I also think this is a sign of how much she cares bout him. Her dad was her tennis coach, so you can imagine that she grew up in a household where oftentimes the love that was expressed was in conversations about how she played and how she could play better. And she's passionate about the sport and she has so much love for the game. For her, love and tennis are tethered in a way. The fact that she watched his games and was so eager to give him tips and pointers was evidence that she cared imo. And how that quickly turned into a fight between them is her putting up her walls, becoming defensive, most likely because she still has Art's words in the back of her head, and it bothers her.

As for Art, I feel like this could go without saying, but she married him. She married him and had a kid with him, and she didn't have to do that lol. She could've just coached him, we know that she's coached players without having a romantic relationship with them, and she did a pretty damn good job to, so she could've done the same with him. We actually get a really nice scene between them at the diner and we get a small glimpse of them beyond tennis, and you realize what it is that sees in him and why she would be interested in him romantically and not just as a coach to player.

I feel like people misconstrue her disdain and loathing that she has for them as her not loving them. She loves them and at times hates them. She tells Art in the beginning that she would do anything to be able to play again, and yet, here these two are, one who has lost his confidence and motivation for the game, and another whose laziness and carelessness prevent him from reaching his highest potential. Two people who are wasting their greatest privilege and she despises them for it.

Annnnnnd last take (I didn't expect this to be so long): Art is a snake.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love Art. I love all of these characters, and in my head they all quarantined together during covid, found a therapist, learned how to communicate and work through their issues, and are now living happily ever after with Lily, but Art is a snake as are all of them. I've seen some people excuse him trying to break Patrick and Tashi up back at Stanford, for one reason or another, and I'm not really sure why. You can love a character and/or feel sympathetic for them without erasing their wrong doings. You can admit that Art was slimy and manipulative at times and still love him, I promise. None of these characters are real and canonically all of them do pretty awful things in the movie, but you can acknowledge that and love them anyway. I think that if you look at this movie as there being a "bad guy" or a "good guy" you may have missed some things. The movie is messy, and toxic, and petty, and intoxicating, and thrilling because of the characters wrongdoings not in spite of them. And I think that's part of what makes it so fun!

Anyway, this was sooo much longer than I intended it to be lol, but I had so many thoughts I needed to get them out. I don't even know if this makes any sense but it's late and I'm going to post it anyway. If anyone has their own thoughts please please share! I'm literally obsessed with this movie, so reading people's ideas and opinions about it has been really fun

[wonderlandhatter]

Snapchats from frat Aaron Hotchner

These are before you start dating, he's deff trying to earn some trust. He's only has hookups before and he wants more with you and so is deff trying to do this "the right way"

I have posts edited and done for right before you start dating, like you both know you both like eachother and is deff getting very flirty, so if anyone likes these and would like me to share those let me know.

This is also not edited lol so sorry.

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

I feel like this would be one of the firsts he sends you. You two have been chatting in class and when he comes in to your coffee shop. The friendship is growing.

He always invites you to his frats weekly party but honestly it's scary, he has no obligation to stay with you the whole night (he would let's be honest) so there's just too many variables.

So when he starts sending you little updates during the parties about how he's just tried the most disgusting drink he might die, or how he made a drink he thinks you'd like, or how a game would be more fun with you "I'm loosing angel, I need you on my team". He just has you blushing and kicking your feet.

Ok so you're still too anxious/nervous for a frat party (rightfully so those things look awful imo) but that's ok he just thought that would be the easiest way to spend time with you outside of school but he failed to realise that upto this point he's only gone after hookups but this is different, he wants you all the time for everything.

So he took a different approach, more one on one time. It starts when he invited you to. Afrat party and instead of your usual answer of "you know that's not my thing Aaron" you said "I have plans" which he very quickly jumped in to ask if he could join. This boy all but squealed when you happily agreed.

He did expect this to be a social thing but he quickly learned that your plans were a movie about an odd wizard and old woman playing while you painted/coloured and ate snacks.

That was his favourite night in a very long time, he internally prayed it wouldn't be a one time thing, specially after you admitted to these being your set Saturday night plans. He hopes he can become part of your set plans.

(he deff sends this to his best friend when he asks where he is, friend is equally as thrilled for his bud)

His presence in your life has now become a constant and you couldn't be happier. You're all but fully comfortable with him letting yourself be you around him and he couldn't be happier.

You're not as reserved, jocking with him even picking fun at him which he is eating up.

He comes to your job every Friday to "do schoolwork" which tbf he is but also just admiring you.

You make fun of his boring order everytime he orders his "large black coffee" with no sugar. But the last couple of visits he's let you make up his order as whatever you want knowing it would make you happy to as you say "make his life better through caffeinated joy".

They do tend to be your favourite orders given the next picture which he 100% put on his story which you begged him to change to his private story.

This is one of his favourite pictures and 100% becomes his phone background when you start dating.

Your cat is his nemesis.

You cuddles and love that cat all the time and it's 100% jealousy he wishes you were hugging and kissing him.

He's also convinced that the cat is looking at him smugly while you kiss him.

Cat deff also hissed at him when he comes into your apartment, it's a love triangle lol

He's told you the looks your cat gives him which you obviously thinks it's ridiculous so he sends you this as "proof"

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

It Started With a Kiss (6/?)

Thanks to everyone for reading and for those who left comments on the last chapter!

One thing I want to make clear that I’m not sure some of you get–I do NOT necessarily personally believe that Castle is solely responsible for the catastrophe that was the Hamptons Memorial Day invitation disaster at the end of season 2. My personal feelings are one thing, but when I’m writing, I’m channeling the character’s feelings. And in that moment after emptying 2 bottles of wine with Lanie, Beckett’s filter was gone and she was feeling frustrated and emotional…so yeah, she had that line about if Gina hadn’t shown up, there wouldn’t have been Josh. So no, that was not me personally blaming Castle for the disaster of the season 2 finale…or even Beckett completely blaming him. That was one line from a romantically frustrated woman who had a lot of wine. All that to say…just because a character says it in my story does not necessarily mean it is my own personal belief. I am writing that character.

Now, this chapter is based around the episode “Law and Murder,” which aired March 28…so in the timeline, it is within a week of the last chapter.

I still do not own Castle…

xxxxx

Thankfully Kate had the day off after her night of wine and conversation with Lanie. She wasn’t hung over from the alcohol…no, it took more than a couple bottles of wine split between her and her best friend to give Kate Beckett a hangover…but she was definitely emotionally hung over. She couldn’t help but contemplate how and when her personal life had started to read more and more like a storyline from Temptation Lane. Groaning, she pulled her pillow over her face.

After a few minutes, she pushed herself out of bed. She needed to move, to do…something. It was the perfect opportunity to practice some yoga. Not only would that give her body an outlet to get rid of her pent-up restlessness, but it would help her mind refocus and recenter as well. Hopefully, after an hour or more of yoga and some meditation, her mind would be much more clear and her body would have expended enough energy that she didn’t feel the need to pace her apartment like a caged tiger.

xxxxx

“Oh Richard…you actually said ‘Pick me. Choose me. Love me?’” Martha asked her son as he sat slouched over his desk with his head in his hands.

“She’d just made a statement about wanting a man to be there for her…she was on the outs with her boyfriend. I wanted to shoot my shot by being…I don’t know, poetic or romantic or something. What was I supposed to say?”

Martha shook her head. “Well you could have at least come up with your own original speech instead of going all Grey’s Anatomy on the poor girl.”

“What? I didn’t go Grey’s Anatomy on Beckett.”

“Richard, please. You stole Meredith Grey’s speech to Dr. McDreamy when they were in that salacious love triangle with his wife…who, by the way, is also a gorgeous redhead,” she chuckled.

Castle was silent for a minute and sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands. “God, she’s got me plagiarising from a TV show!” He leaned his head against the back of his chair and dropped his hands helplessly at his sides. “It doesn’t matter…she walked away with Motorcycle Boy almost a month ago. Obviously, she picked him.”

“Are you sure she picked him?” Martha asked her son.

Castle just looked at his mother like she’d grown another head. “Of course I’m sure. It was obvious from the way she walked off with him with her arm around him that she chose him. Why would you ask me that?”

“Just…hear me out, kiddo. Because it seems to me that you’re making assumptions instead of getting the facts. You sprung your little speech on her in the middle of a case…a serious case. And ending a relationship with someone you care about isn’t as simple as just looking at the other person and saying it’s over; Katherine hardly had time to do so during the case you two were working, and it’s not like she could end it in the precinct when he showed up. Those things should be done in private, and you didn’t give her a chance to end it before you started assuming she’d made her choice,” she pointed out.

“It’s been almost a month. If she ended it with him, why hasn’t she said anything?” Castle countered.

“It amazes me that you can be so clueless when it comes to a woman you are supposedly completely infatuated with. Really, Richard,” Martha shook her head. “Katherine values her privacy. She’s hardly going to broadcast her personal life around at work. She’s also not the type of woman to end a serious relationship and jump right into the waiting arms of another man, no matter how she may feel about him.” Seeing Castle about to say something, she held up a hand to stop him. “She obviously cared about this motorcycle man to have stayed in a relationship with him as long as she did. Assuming she did end the relationship to be with you, it’s still going to take her time to process things.”

“What your point, Mother?”

She reached out and gently patted his forearm. “My point is that you have no idea what she has decided to do unless you talk to her. You have to give her a chance to tell you what she decided before you start assuming anything.”

Castle sighed. “What if she says she picked him?”

Martha gave him a sympathetic smile. “Then you’re going to have to get over her, kiddo.”

“There is no getting over her. I don’t know how to get over her. She's in my veins...I can't get her out. I’ve tried, believe me. Last summer when she was with Demming…I tried to get over her, cold turkey, in the Hamptons with Gina. I’ve tried to distance myself…I just...nothing has worked.”

“If you won't walk away, then I’m afraid you’re just going to have to wait her out and hope for the best,” she advised him.

xxxxx

The McUsic case had taken up most of her time over the next week, and Kate was relieved that Castle seemed to be acting normal…or at least normal for Castle…again. They seemed to have slipped back into their old roles with their old banter…they were once again Castle and Beckett. He’d even confided in her about his worry over Alexis lying to him as well as their argument when Alexis figured out he had tracked her phone…which Kate had to admit, Alexis had a point. So when the Captain had bid them goodnight, she’d given Castle a smile.

“I’m gonna get out of here…Forbidden Planet is playing at the Angelica,” she told him.

Castle did his best to hide his surprise that she was a fan of the very movie he was planning to see himself. “Date night with Josh?” he asked, trying to be casual with the question. His mother had suggested he ask if she’d made a choice; this was as good a time and way to ask as any, he figured.

Kate paused slightly at his question. She knew she had to tell him about Josh; that much she’d decided the week prior over wine with Lanie. But she wasn’t completely comfortable having the conversation in the middle of the precinct bullpen where anyone might overhear. “Um…no,” she stated, grabbing her coat and purse. “You want to come with me?” she offered, doing her best to mitigate the hopefulness in her tone.

He was trying to figure out what it meant…or didn’t mean…that she told him she didn’t have plans with Josh. She hadn’t said that she’d ended things with Josh, but he remembered his mother’s words about how Kate was private and wouldn’t necessarily tell him about her personal life at work. She’d urged him to give Kate an opportunity to talk to him; maybe this was it. “Forbidden Planet…is that the one with the robot?” he asked. Maybe if he played it like he didn’t know the movie, accepting her invitation wouldn’t make him feel so desperate.

She stopped in her tracks. “You’ve never seen Forbidden Planet?”

He shrugged, continuing to play it nonchalantly. “More of a Star Wars, Matrix man myself.

“Oh my gosh, Castle. This is the movie that inspired those two. That’s it, I’m taking you. My treat. I won’t take no for an answer,” she insisted, starting for the elevator.

“Oh no, no. I have plans…” he protested.

She shook her head as she continued toward the elevator. “Nope. Not anymore. We’re going to the movies.” He smiled slightly as he followed her to the elevator. “Oh, Castle, you’re going to love this. This is Leslie Neilsen before he became a comic genius,” she continued as the elevator doors closed

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she looked over at him with a smile. She was silent for a moment. They were alone now…no one could overhear them. “I…there is no Josh, not anymore. We…I…broke up with him…” she said quietly, looking straight ahead as she delivered the news.

Castle’s eyes widened. “There’s…I mean…you…uh…you broke up…with him?” he stammered over his words. She said she had broken up with him. That meant it wasn’t a mutual breakup, that she had been the one to end things.

“Yes,” she answered, keeping her eyes glued to the elevator doors in front of her.

“Oh…” he nodded. So what did that mean? Did that mean she picked him? Did that mean she was ready for a relationship with him? Did that mean she ended things with Josh but wasn’t going to be with him either? A million thoughts flooded through his head, his overactive writer’s imagination coming up with both good and bad scenarios. Then he heard his mother’s voice again telling him she may need some time, to stop making assumptions and to talk to her. “Can I have candy and popcorn?” he finally asked as the elevator doors opened.

She smiled because once again, that was so him to ask that question. Everything was okay between them. “Yes,” she agreed as they exited the elevator to head for the doors of the precinct

“Can we stop at Remy’s for burgers after?” he asked, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips. She’d broken up with Josh. She was single. He had a chance. He hadn’t felt this free or happy in months.

She rolled her eyes at the question, but she couldn’t hide the slightest hint of a smile as they headed outside. “We’ll see.”

xxxxx

It became clear not even five minutes into the movie that Castle had absolutely gotten one over on her when he’d told her he’d never seen the movie as he seemingly couldn’t help himself but speak the words along with the characters. But she didn’t care; sure, she’d give him hell for it after the movie, but she didn’t care that he’d pulled her leg to get her to insist he go to the movies with her. She actually kind of thought it was…sweet; obviously wanted to go to the movie with her, but probably didn't want to pressure her, so he let her decide how badly she wanted to go with him. And ultimately he was there with her…that was all that mattered.

“So…is that a yes for Remy’s?” Castle asked as they exited the movie theater.

“You just had popcorn. And candy.” To anyone overhearing her, it sounded like she was talking to a child, not a fully grown man.

“That was movie food…you know, a snack,” he shrugged. “I’m talking about dinner. Burgers…those shakes you love…” he added with a smile.

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “Fine. But you’re buying.”

“I thought you said tonight was your treat?” he countered with a smile

“I said I was bringing you to the movie as my treat because I thought you’d never seen it before,” she laughed. “Oh, don’t give me that look. You’ve totally seen the movie multiple times…you knew all the dialogue,” she pointed out.

“Did I?”

She laughed again. “You didn’t even realize you were speaking it, did you?” she tugged her lower lip between her teeth as she shook her head

He chuckled at that. “I guess Remy’s is on me.”

She smiled and lightly nudged his shoulder with hers as they walked down the street. “I would have taken you to see Forbidden Planet even if you hadn’t tricked me, Castle.”

“Yeah?"

“Yeah,” she smiled.

xxxxx

Dinner at Remy’s was pleasant and normal; they bantered as normal; they talked and laughed like normal; she even stole a couple of his fries when hers were gone like normal. The drive back to his loft was silent…but it was a comfortable silence.

“You want to come up? I can open a bottle of wine,” he offered when she pulled up in front of his building. Aside from the information that Josh was no longer part of the picture, they hadn’t really talked about them, or even aknowledged all of the events that had transpired between them since January. Castle didn’t want to push…or assume. But he also wasn’t sure where he stood, where they stood. He wanted to give her...them...an opportunity to talk about things.

She toyed with the idea for a moment, but then she remembered the last time she’d gone to his loft and they’d shared a bottle of wine on Valentine's Day; that was not going to help their situation at all. And though she was now single, she wasn’t sure she was completely ready to be with him. “I'm on call tonight. It's late, and I work early in the morning, so I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she finally answered softly.

“Oh…oh, I just thought…uh…with, you know…um…you might…you know, nevermind,” he shook his head, offering her a reassuring smile.

She stopped him with her hand on his arm when he moved to get out of her car. “Castle…” she started softly. “About what you said before...during the case with the bomb…I…I just…” she struggled over her words. Kate Beckett was not a woman of words, she was a woman of action. But Castle was a writer, a man of words, and she knew she needed to give him some…he deserved that from her. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t…I just need…can you give me a little time?” she finally asked. “I’m on the same page, you’re just…ahead of me. I need a little time to catch up,” she tried to explain.

He followed along with her words, his eyes never leaving hers, and his smile grew slightly the more words she got out. She wanted to be with him, she just needed him to wait a little. That was something he could definitely do. “No surprise there...I am a speed reader,” he smirked. It had the desired effect when she gave a smile and a soft laugh. He gently took her hand before continuing. “I’d wait forever if you asked me to,” he told her seriously.

“I’m not asking you to wait forever,” she promised him with a smile. “Maybe just…a few weeks…” she tugged her lip between her teeth.

He nodded with a smile. “Ok.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. “Until tomorrow, Kate.”

“Hey Castle?” she stopped him once again before he could get out of the car. “Thanks.”

He gave her a genuine smile. “Always.”

xxxxx

I hope you guys liked this one!

I honestly thought I would be able to make it through the last half of season 3 with being able to write a chapter for every episode. However, despite my best efforts, I am going to skip over the next episode, “Slice of Death,” because try as I might there is just NOTHING in there I’m going to be able to really do a chapter around, especially since I’ve got Castle and Beckett in a really good place right now. So the next chapter will be based around “The Dead Pool,” which you all may remember is the Alex Conrad episode. Don’t worry, there is plenty I’ll be able to use for a chapter with that episode!

As always, I love any and all comment you guys have!

[starrrbakerrr]

Just reread the books as an adult and I must say as an adult it’s actually really hard to be nice about Gale. As a kid I was trying to be balanced and nice about the love triangle but as a grown adult woman I’m like “I don’t agree with your politics and also if any guy treated any of my friends the way you treat Katniss, I would stage an intervention”. And also Katniss never smiles around him 😞

I'm also doing a reread right now because I finally got hard copies of the books! It's going very slowly though lol

I really don't remember my exact feelings about Gale when I first read the books (I was in 6th-7th grade), but I don't think I ever liked him. I also remember hating how the movies emphasized the love triangle when reading the books it was obviously always Peeta.

I reread the books last March and as an adult I picked up so much about him. I think when I was young I was mostly anti-Gale because I loved Peeta/Everlark so much, but rereading as an adult I'm really able to specify what I dislike about Gale. He's just so... annoying.

On his politics, I'm actually a teeny bit sympathetic towards Gale because I don't think all the responsibility for Prim's death should be wholly on him. The severing of Katniss/Gale's relationship is so much deeper than him killing her sister. It's a plot point and dialogue that's been misinterpreted because of the movies. I think the way they presented it cheapens the story and it cheapens why Katniss ultimately chose Peeta.

Regardless, I can't help but dislike Gale. It is how he approaches his relationship with Katniss for me, and as you said how he treats Katniss. Whenever he speaks I'm annoyed. What bugs me is the entitlement he feels he has to Katniss. And some things he says give me the ick.

Knowing there’s people legitimately ship Everthorne is wild to me like 😭

Thanks for the ask!

(below is a tangent on the anti-Gale rhetoric. It’s a defense of one moment I think his hate is a bit too unreasonable so read with caution i guess)

I saw someone say on Twitter that Gale should be vilified for saying that killing people isn't much different than killing animals, and I think that person missed the point of that part in the book. And as some who likes literary analysis outside of my personal feelings for characters and ships, I kinda love that Suzanne wrote this. The dialogue:

“Katniss, it’s just hunting. You’re the best hunter I know,” says Gale. “It’s not just hunting. They’re armed. They think,” I say. “So do you. And you’ve had more practice. Real practice,” he says. “You know how to kill.” “Not people,” I say. “How different can it be, really?” says Gale grimly. The awful thing is that if I can forget they’re people, it will be no different at all.

In the movie, the line sounds brutal and violent and I think part of it could be delivery. In the book, to me, Gale doesn’t say that with confidence or with the belief that humans are dispensable, but “grimly.” And in the movie we don’t get Katniss’s inner thought that even though what Gale said was callous it’s valid because this is the world they're living in - a world that is violent and where Capitol citizens don’t see children as anything other then prey. These characters are extremely desensitized to violence and death. In Catching Fire, Peeta and Katniss curl up on the couch with a mug of warm milk to watch Haymitch's games like it’s a movie.

I think there are a lot of moments to dislike or have distaste for Gale, because I have many. But some of his hate goes overboard and people mostly on twitter and tiktok bc they see the movies as canon solely put the blame on an 18 y/o with immense trauma instead of the adult leaders who have never experienced life like him - Coin is from D13, Plutarch and Snow are from the Capitol.

And to call Gale worse than Snow and to excuse a lot of Snow’s actions, even making shit up about Snow like he cared and gave genuine condolences to Katniss about Prim, or say he didn’t murder Lucy Gray as a defense against Billy Taupe like the murder attempt isn’t just as bad, is seriously gross. I’m kinda glad tbosas and hunger games hype has died down on Twitter because the takes were increasingly getting worse and more illogical.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

If you were in charge of canon would you have gotten Bella and Edward back together at the end of new moon? Or would you have let that choice simmer till the end of eclipse? I feel like that is what smeyer should have done.

Anon, I would never write Twilight, we wouldn't even get to New Moon.

However, in the spirit of your ask, my answer is no, I would not do this, and don't think it would be the best narrative choice.

Why Not?

As you say, it'd just be pointless wiffle waffling that delays the inevitable and would likely be quite obvious to anyone reading the book.

Specifically, it'd be out of character for all parties involved to let this simmer in any way shape or form.

Bella after New Moon is terrified of Edward leaving her again and absolutely adamant on becoming a vampire. More, even if she was in the headspace to consider asking Edward to let her think, Edward made it clear that either they started dating again/returned to what they were or he would leave again. Bella doesn't get a period where they can just be friends and she can wait to choose between Jacob and Edward. She either gets all Edward and Cullens or none.

And, with that, again Edward wouldn't go along with this. It's all or nothing for him. He tried, briefly, in canon to keep his distance but be in her vicinity and he discovered he couldn't stand the idea of being near her but being ignored. He broke. And after New Moon he's convinced he'd break even from forcibly separating herself but is insistant that if he's involved in Bella's life in any capacity whatsoever, it's going to be as her vampire boyfriend. Edward can't stick around but not be dating her.

It is not an option.

Similarly, where Jacob's at, he's not going to sit by and watch as Bella wiffle waffles between him and Edward. In canon, she'd chosen Edward, it was a done deal, and he still protested against it. However, here, I imagine he'd ask "why you no date me" if Bella's not dating Edward. Obviously, she should be picking Jacob. Why aren't you choosing, Bella? Bella?

These aren't people who simmer and forcing them to would very likely be reflected in the text as characters would suddenly start making choices and justification that feel really really really weird for them. (We've all read/seen the things where suddenly a character must do X because the author said so and it... just doesn't work.)

Add to that my personal distaste for love triangle plotlines where we all know who the winner's going to be and Eclipse would just be a giant Will She, Won't She? that would end up feeling like it's a story that could skip itself.

[survivalistghost]

2023 kdrama list

list of the kdramas i watched and loved in 2023

obviously this is quite late but to those who want to start a kdrama, this is it.

#10 - soundtrack #2

there is such a comfort in the soundtrack series. even soundtrack #1 was so good, but this new instalment, truly works on the og kdrama tropes. lovers to exes to accidental 'fate' encounter to forced proximity to lovers again. puppy dog male lead, angsty female lead, jealousy, wholesome second lead, it's got it all. and ofc, music.

#9 - king the land

many people did not like this drama. honestly, if you're watching a kdrama that is romance and comedy then why would be angry that it had romance and comedy. again, a true example of a classic kdrama, rich ceo guy with hardworking girl, mix in some trauma and employee-employer drama, and this is the perfect clichéd drama.

#8 - see you in my 19th life

honestly i just like watching ahn bo hyun. he is such a pretty man. storyline-wise, i feel like they did a lot of stuff, but the ending honestly disappointed me. shin hye sun, as usual, love the woman, what an actor, the second leads also did not disappoint, loved them all.

#7 - crash course in romance

such a heartwarming drama. choi chiyeol with the temperament of a wet cat, the stress of studies in all asian countries, not just korea. all the romances were so cute (barring the best friend and brother). one thing they could have done better was cast a younger actress for the female lead. even this love triangle was so cute and fun.

#6 - my demon

song kang and kim yoo jung really killed it with the chemistry. i mean, forget everything else, i'll just take 16 episodes of them hanging out. even behind the scenes reels will work. the plot was pretty solid, felt like a remake of doom at your service. song kang does a wonderful job at being both goofy and serious, and kim yoo jung did so good at the angsty ceo.

#5 - the good bad mother

am i surprised this ended up higher than my demon? yes. this was such a good show, the past and present layered together so beautifully. the villains seemed like actual villains, but you weren't sure who to hate until the last episode. really shows some aspects of motherhood through both the eyes of the kids and mothers. had a cute little romance as well.

#4 - the worst of evil

ji chang wook and wi ha jun. need i say more? i have said it once, and i'll say it again - so few do action like koreans do. i mean, vincenzo, my name, midnight runners, and now this, such action masterpieces.

#3 - daily dose of sunshine

park bo young wa sso cute in this one. i miss small kdramas with intense plots. mental illnesses were dealt with very well in this one. the romance was so cute, and chang ryul, my baby, i missed him so much.

#2 - alchemy of souls s2

i just. love. this series. so much. like, the characters are so well built, the storyline, the romance, the destiny, oh my god. please watch this.

#1 - welcome to samdal-ri

this comes as a surprise to absolutely no one. what a feel-good drama to end 2023. it was the perfect remix of hometown cha cha cha that we all needed. ji chang wook, my absolute gem of a man, and shin hye sun, queen of no shit given but too many shits given roles. adore the friendships, romance, calm setting, the love between everyone. please watch it.

[good-to-drive]

thoughts on the Harrison-Boyd-Clapton live triangle???

Oh god I have SO many thoughts lol. I was actually just talking to my best friend about this, but to put it simply I see the whole situation as an example of two people who truly love each other not belonging together because the particular ways in which they're broken go together too well.

But, to put it less simply:

I tend to think about it from Pattie's perspective, and I've always thought of her as having pretty severe eldest daughter syndrome, i.e. she was taught to value her worth by what she could provide to others. Her parents weren't super involved and she took on a lot more responsibility than most kids her age, especially when it came to her younger siblings. This quote in particular stood out to me when I was obsessing over Pattie a few months ago:

(Not sure where that's originally from btw, I've had the screenshot forever but based on formatting I think it might be brainy quote).

It's often a red flag when people say they felt older than their years, and doubly so when they were in some way parentified. We often reenact the role we played in our childhood family system in our adult relationships, and in Pattie I think this lead her to be extremely giving and self sacrificing. To the point where I'm not sure she was even aware that she HAD emotional needs, much less knew how to assert them.

To that end, although I obviously like George quite a bit, there's no denying that -- especially as a young man -- he was an incredibly needy person. (I actually think all the beatles were sort of black holes of emotional need tbh, at least in their youth. Partly because of childhood trauma but also because they were living a life that's larger and more extreme than any human being was meant to live.)

Pattie's tendency to sacrifice excessively dovetailed perfectly with George's tendency to need excessively, and as a result he totally eclipsed her entire self, until she felt utterly lost. That's neither of their fault, btw. Neither of them was emotionally mature or self aware enough to realize what was happening.

(Not to mention George was cheating like a dog and Pattie was taking it on the chin even though she knew deep down she deserved better. But former parentified children often put up with a lot of shit as adults because they believe it's their responsibility to do so.)

Then Eric comes along and literally tells her it's her fault he's addicted to heroin and if she doesn't leave George he'll die and it'll be all her fault. Aside from the fact that this is literally emotional abuse, it's also an even darker and more powerful black hole of neediness than George. And as someone whose sense of self has been eclipsed and who only knows she matters when she's of service to others, it was basically impossible not to fall into that black hole.

For his part, I think Eric was far more concerned with taking something from George than being with Pattie. I don't know enough about him to know why he'd feel the need to do that and I also really dislike him so I doubt I'll ever find out. Pattie said he got bored of her pretty much as soon as he "had" her, and tbh that doesn't surprise me.

It was honestly such a tragic thing for Pattie to be driven/dragged away from George -- personally I believe they always loved each other (she referred to him as her soulmate in her autobiography, and George made sure she knew as long as he was alive she'd have a financial parachute) -- but I also genuinely think they had to lose each other in order to find themselves.

Pattie couldn't stay in a relationship where she was fulfilling the same self sacrificing role she played as a child, and although it was a long and painful road she seems to have really found herself and found peace. She's never explicitly said this, but often people without a strong sense of self need to be on their own in order to learn how to value themselves, and she did spend a long time unmarried after Eric.

And, although George was gutted by the breakup, he was no more capable of expressing love in a healthy way than Pattie was. If they had stayed together I doubt he'd have grown into the wise and self possessed person that he ultimately became, because he simply wouldn't have had to. (Plus he never would have found Liv and I love her just as much as I love Pattie.)

In the end their relationship is fascinating and tragic to me because the things that drew them to one another so deeply were also what ultimately doomed them, and yet in the shadow of that loss they became the people they were meant to be and found their happy endings.

Thanks for the ask, and sorry for the novel 😁

[minisugakoobies]

Paradise Chapter 14 - Teaser | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: smut, neighbors to lovers (not quite friends but not quite strangers), love triangle, Stripper!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Teaser Warnings: reference to blow jobs

Teaser Word Count: 859 (actual chapter TBD)

Disclaimers: None, other than obviously I don’t own BTS - they simply inspire me

A/N: Helloooooo… sorry it's taking so long for the next update. Here's a little peek at how the chapter begins. Can you believe we're coming up on 2 YEARS since this started?? 😳 Wild. Thank you for hanging on! 💕

(This chapter is still in progress, so this is subject to change!)

Paradise Main Masterlist 💜 Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

Turns out that impulsiveness looks pretty good on you. 

Or so you think to yourself, catching your reflection in the mirror of the men’s room as you leave Jungkook to collect himself after giving him the best blow job of his life (your words - although, based on the look on his face as you’d swallowed, you might not be far off). 

You hadn’t planned on dragging him into the bathroom like that, but upon seeing him walk out onto the terrace in that grey belted suit, looking like an absolute dream, well, you simply could not help yourself.

You also hadn’t meant to tell him you missed him last night. But you had, because you did. God, when had you turned into this - this massive simp? It was only yesterday morning that you’d woken up in Jungkook’s embrace. You’d barely spent 24 hours apart - so why were you so desperate to get back into his arms?

Of course, none of this matters right now. There are only minutes to go before the ceremony begins, and you need to pull your head out of the clouds and get back to Jennie and the others. Starting by escaping the men’s room sight unseen.

“YN!” 

Or not.

As soon as you close the door, you hear Jin’s voice calling to you. He’s standing at the other end of the little hallway, near the entrance to the reception room.

“Hey,” you reply, trying to be the most nonchalant you’ve ever been in your life, as if you weren’t just gagging on Jungkook’s dick in a public bathroom. 

Jin smiles as you approach, but there’s a gleam in his eye that makes you nervous, and you’re so busy trying to come up with a valid excuse for why he saw you emerging from the men’s room that you apparently forget how to walk, trip over the hem of your gown, and crash directly against his chest. 

“Easy, tiger!” he laughs, arms locking around your back as he helps you stand back upright. “I’m used to ladies throwing themselves at me, but only you’ve taken it literally.” 

You roll your eyes, but you’re pretty sure he’s not lying about fighting off admirers, given that he looks like a supermodel in his crisply tailored tuxedo. His bowtie is a little crooked thanks to being squashed by your face during your ungainly landing, so you gently fix it, and Jin thanks you with a soft grin. 

“I left my glasses at home, so tell me - did I just see you leav-” Jin suddenly stops in the middle of his sentence, his gaze drifting over your shoulder. “Oh. Nevermind, I see.” He takes a step back, arms falling from your waist.

Another hand slips into yours. 

Jungkook didn’t wait very long before following you out of the restroom. He squeezes your hand as you glance at him, but he stares directly at Jin, nostrils flaring slightly, eyes narrowed, lips pursed tightly as if - as if -

Oh, shit. 

“You left this behind, jagiya.” Jungkook turns to you, his face shifting into a softer expression as he produces your clutch like some sort of trophy. You must’ve left it on the counter. “Did you want me to hold it during the ceremony?” 

Your brain is lagging severely at the moment, trying to process two major facts at once. Fact one: Jin obviously realized that you were with Jungkook in the bathroom. Fact two: you completely forgot to tell Jungkook that Jin would be at the wedding. Which, given the events of the last 24 hours, it’s understandable that it slipped your mind, but this isn’t how you’d expected to officially introduce them. 

On top of that, Jungkook has asked you a question. And is now waiting for an answer, while Jin watches in polite silence. 

“Um. Yes. Sorry, yes, can you keep an eye on it for me?” 

Jungkook nods, tucking the clutch into his jacket and patting it lightly. “Of course,” he says, nodding solemnly, as if you’d just asked him to protect precious goods and not a cheap bag full of tissues and mints. 

Jin clears his throat lightly. 

“Oh! I’m sorry, Jin, this is Jungkook, Jungkook, Jin.” 

Of all the ways for these two to meet, this might not be the most embarrassing, but it’s definitely up there. There’s still a bit of Jungkook’s taste lingering on your tongue as the two men shake hands, Jin wincing slightly. 

You try to quickly fill Jungkook in. “Jin’s the best man.” 

“Sure am.” Jin grins. 

“He and Yoongi grew up together,” you add, ignoring Jin’s little interjection, knowing that Jungkook didn’t miss it based on the way his jaw flexes violently, as if he’s gnashing his teeth. 

“Nice to meet you, Jungkook. That’s quite a grip you have there.” Jin slides his hands into his pockets. “YN’s told me a little about you.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” Jungkook replies, inclining his head slightly. His hand returns to yours, fingers locking firmly. “Wish I could say the same, but YN never mentions you.” 

You try to control your face as you look at Jungkook. What did he just say?

© 2021-22-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Please do not repost or steal.

[sasaranurude]

For no reason other than I like the sound of my own voice (...sight of my own typed words...?) here's the character dynamics in 18trip that have managed to intrigue me from just the promotional content. Some shippy, some not. In no particular order

Akuta and Kiroku. Oh my gooodddd the sunny one and the gloomy one are friends... No way... And the way Kiroku smiles so softly when he talks about depending on Akuta for support!?!?!? Adorable!?!?!?

These two were simply made for the softest silliest slice of life shipfics. You know in your heart that they should be written walking around town getting ice cream together and having almost-confessions that get interrupted by a seagull stealing Kiroku's ice cream so Akuta tries to chase it down and get the ice cream back.

Renga and Liguang. They seem to have a bit of a rivalry going. Renga in general seems real fun as a character since he's trying so hard to be such a haughty celeb but even in his two minute interview he failed so bad at it, fumbling over his words and struggling to do basic celebrity things (bro you should be able to give some fanservice lol? The high schoolers are beating your ass). Love the bit about how he wants to live up to part ward mayors, he seems like a guy who desperately wants to be more than he is but doesn't know how to. Liguang is said to be the type who sees through facades to discern someone's competence, so there's so doubt that's why he's zeroed in on Renga. Excited to see where that goes--I hope we get Liguang tearing Renga to pieces so that Renga can build himself back up more confidently. That kind of dynamic can be super fun.

Kafka, Yukikaze, and the MC. I love that the MCs have a preexisting relationship with Kafka and Yukikaze. And it's both of them! Because they're siblings! I love that! Kafka can absolutely be a childhood friend for both of them! And obviously Yukikaze would be a cousin to both of them LMAO. (I don't know if we have concrete ages for the MCs, other than the male MC Kaede being older than the female MC Momiji, but I thiiink--just to make the writing smoother between gender choices--they'll probably put both of them in the 21-24 range between Kafka (20) and Yukikaze (25). I'd guess Kaede is 23 and Momiji is 22 bc again, the closer in age they are the more similarly they can be written so it's just for the sake of expedience, but I'm pulling these numbers out of my ass.)

ANYWAYS, ages provisionally established because those few years gain a bit more importance when you deal with characters who knew each other as kids... about the dynamic--Kafka's quotes in his quiz results MAKE this one. He likes the MC lots ("you're my number one, too", "guess I'll have to plan a strategy to become your number one") to the point that he's competitive about it with Yukikaze, their older cousin. Just, ohmygod, sickly little Kafka who cares about his childhood best friends so much, watching them look at their successful pro figure skater older cousin in awe, hoping to god they'll look at him with that much admiration and affection, and when a risky surgery finally saves him and he can get out there and be successful--he'll do anything to get his friends to look up to him the same way he used to look up to them, the way he saw them look up to Yukikaze--IT'S GETTING TO ME. We don't know how Yukikaze feels about any of this, but I kinda suspect it's a one-sided rivalry on Kafka's part lol. We'll see, it could be fun if it's a mutual rivalry for Kaede & Momiji's affection too. Also, mentioning it at the end since I know it squicks a lot of people, but the "cousin as first love" trope prevails in Japanese media, so there's also a reading of this situation wherein Kafka sees Yukikaze as a romantic rival. If this game takes off you will certainly see doujinshi where it's a love triangle lol. Since both siblings are around I like the idea of Kafka having a bisexual crisis because he realizes he's in love with BOTH the Hamasaki siblings, WHAT DOES HE DOOOO!! The more I write about Kafka the more I like him.

Muneuji and Ushio. I mean, I just spent way too much time talking about some childhood friends so I'm certainly not going to ignore the OTHER childhood friends. I like how both of them play around a bit with gendered expectations, with Muneuji looking feminine and speaking softly but wanting to hide his appearance entirely via his interests (space), while Ushio looks and acts like a rough lil delinquent but his main interest is being a patissier and fudanshi. Oh my god they're narrative foils, ykwim. Other than them depending on each other lots, we haven't seen how their dynamic will play out, so I'm interested to see how that goes. Like, does Ushio take Muneuji's helmet quirk in stride? Does he try to make him remove it, or maybe the opposite and will protect him from the fangirl helmet-removal gang to get his helmet back on? Either could be cute! We'll see! Oh, and I'm not sure how to word it, but there's also something I like about how their interests clash--space is, while, space, it's out there, can't get much farther from earth than space, and Muneuji engages with it by hiding himself and separating himself from the world. Sweets on the other hand are very much an in-your-body thing, forcing you to sit down and experience your own senses and be a part of the world. There's something nice that could be done with that contrast. Basically, what I'm saying is that if you wrote a BL about just these two, it could be SO thematically rich.

Toi and Ryui.

Yeah. Also on top of the codependency their theming goes crazy. An angel fortune teller with psychic acuity and a devilish charm-maker who's possessed by a ghost... Bro...

Nanaki and Kuguri. WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN THEM THAT NANAKI CALLS HIM KUGU-NII

KUGU-NII?? KUGU-NII?!?!?!?!?!? LIKE ok Nanaki is a musician from a musical family and Kuguri is an accomplished pianist. So it's not hard to imagine how they met. But becoming close enough that Nanaki relies on him and calls him Kugu-nii... Oh my god... I need to know...

Lightning round "character pairs I'm excited see interact but I have either very little or no basis at all for wanting that"

Nagi and anyone. I like Nagi. I like how he makes jokes with a flat affect. I want him to say strange things to people.

Netaro and anyone in day2. He's weird. I want him to interact with the children just for funnies. Especially Muneuji, I wanna see how the space kid and the alien get along.

Kafka and Toi. It's interesting that Kafka likes fortune telling. I won't psychoanalyze him about it again, but I could.

Netaro and Kinari. It's the engineer and the android and I need it. TEAR THAT ROBOT APART! PULL HIS GUTS OPEN AND SEE WHATS INSIDE!!!!!!

Chihiro and Toi. Toi's admiration for Chii is adorable. I wanna see how Chii interacts with a fan.

Chihiro and Ryui. Ryui, you're allowed to kill Chii if you get jealous of how much your brother likes him. I give you permission.

Liguang and Yukikaze. I want Liguang to treat this professional athlete who's older than him like a pet bunny. Who said that

Yodaka and Liguang. I like that they play mahjong together.

Yodaka and Netaro. I think if they talked the conversation would very very quickly leave the realm of the waking world and would simply not be comprehensible to outsiders. But they understand.

And ok eh yeah that's enough for now. Who knows if any of these will end up going how I'm thinking about them, or if more sides to the characters will be revealed that change my assumptions :)

[trickster-archangel]

Random thoughts about Hawaii Five-0 rewatch: part 3/?

Last random thought for a while, because I need to find the time to skip between s6-s10 DVDs.

Thought #4: dude....love triangles only apply to romantically and sexually involved people, so no, don't worry, we won't "call it bromance", or: The Prom Date parallel, or: The Real Jersey Slip.

This one is really just on my mind, but since I was skipping between contents just to make sure everything was (probably) working (Danny's negativity is powerful in me), I happened to land onto two specific bits of dialogue which made me bitter-laugh so madly.

The incriminated dialogues are found in the s4 Shorelines (I think), and in the commentary (courtesy of Lenkov, O'Loughlin, and Park) for 3x17 aka the Pro Bowl date episode.

I'm reasoning backwards, because what the writers were saying, extensively, about the Billy storyline, was that they wanted to show a different side of McGarrett: he's sure of himself, self-confident, cocky even, when coming to his job and skills....but what about his feelings and personal life? He does have a vulnerable, doubtful side, one which makes him feel stuttering when coming to relationships. He trusts Catherine (ouch), and Billy too because they used to be battlefield brothers. But does he? So they explored this jealous side of him, one he's not proud of and which he desperately tries to stifle, deny, push down and downplay, because admitting it would mean feeling weak.

Also, Billy's death would've put Catherine in a place where she didn't have purpose in life anymore, where she felt guilty for something she was trained to prevent, bringing her to seek Steve's presence as a friend too (!!!!) to have a shoulder to cry onto.

This is absolute perfect, and I do appreciate the effort and the general masterplan...even if as usual, character-study is not the main interest for an older audience thus it was obviously shallow and just hinted at, in reality....and also they shamefully killed Billy after a few episodes instead of exploring this "love triangle" in depth.

That's it. That's the exact idiom they used for the Billy/Catherine arc. Love triangle. Which is absolutely the correct term for the situation. Let's pack it for later, and let's move to the 3x17 commentary.

What's so funny to me, is that when the (in)famous "Cath gets ditched because Steve is going with Danny" scene comes on screen, you hear PL almost absentmindedly perking up and laughing, saying something like "Oh, and here we are at the classic love triangle drama!".....then suddenly shuts up because he gets aware of what he just said.

At this point things get frenzy, they laugh, Grace cheers, and someone (PL? Alex?) hurries to add "C'mon Steve, don't be that man who ditches his girlfriend to go out with his best friend!", to save the situation.

Only problem is, we hear Alex (I think it’s his voice this time), saying "It's exactly like one of those awkward moments when you're asked for prom, but you turn down the person because you already have a date".

And we really remember when that other "prom date moment" was, right?

I really can't understand why they chose to ditch all this potential they were all clearly aware of, just for heteronormativity sake. A man and a woman can be platonic best friends. Two men can be completely romantically committed to each other. I really can't see what the problem is.