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#trot of chuck
drchucktingle · 5 months
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i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS
okay here is what i have to say:
i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work
HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.
this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay
a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK
HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.
YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.
I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL
of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.
i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.
it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.
but it is not a simple button push.
talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.
but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot
i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect
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amanonthecorner · 3 months
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This one goes out to all the buckaroos whose trot has been SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVED by the art of @drchucktingle
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injuredarcher · 6 months
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Working on more sticker designs. Read the whole book last night, and absolutely had to draw something for it.
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pinkiepiebones · 9 months
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WHOA I GOT A CAMP DAMASCUS SCARF @drchucktingle TOTALLY GOING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO INCORPORATE IT INTO MY DAILY OUTFITS
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nomercifulpercival · 9 months
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Today I cried a lot reading Camp Damascus for the first time. It is so GOOD and healing and beautiful!!!
I personally do not have a lot of Christian Trauma, but I’ve recently cut off a lot of family members and @drchucktingle writes so beautifully about the ache of losing your parents, even when it’s the best possible thing for you to do. 
I’ve always been of the opinion that Horror as a genre can speak to all parts of the human experience and this book is a testament to that - you walk away believing in love and friendship and killing the things that torment you with a sword of truth and justice (and also a flamethrower). 
10/10 i will not stop thinking about this book for a LONG time
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libraryofbaxobab · 9 months
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😭 thanks king
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When you get a McChicken and the quantity of mayonnaise on the wrapper resembles the kind of cumshot Chuck Tingle would write space unicorn erotica about.
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space-ace-beleren · 1 year
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We might not be in the best timeline but at least we have Chuck Tingle.
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I'm in a group that's supposed to be for bad, boobtastic descriptions of women in writing, and someone's posted Chuck Tingle's latest book (the lesbian skateboarding ankylosaur one).
The comments is just full of buckaroos swarming to defend him. The term most often used to describe him, by multiple unrelated people, is "a treasure". Sometimes with modifiers such as "national", "international" and "goddamn".
This proves love in this timeline.
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suengmi · 1 year
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- the ways stray kids show their love and affection
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genre: fluff/romance, nonidol!au, gn!reader warnings: mentions of making out, nakedness? idk lol
anyways this is just major soft hours, one of my moots said i should do this i can't remember who it was pls lmk if it was you asljdls also unedited
♡ masterlist / pls reblog if you liked! it helps a lot ♡
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⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ bang chan
sweet kisses all over your face to wake you up, pressing his nose into the crook of your neck and gently nibbling you. “i’m bored wake up babe.” grunts when you ignore him. ends up pulling the sheets back so your naked body is exposed to the cold. “that’s what you get.” gets salty but then feels bad, covering you up again, then he really wakes you up. back hugs when you’re cooking for him. whining whenever you don’t pay attention to him, tugging at the edge of your shirt. sulks when you say you’re busy. doesn’t give a fuck about how clingy he is, but he knows you love it. holds your hand a little too hard when you’re walking together. kiss attacks always!!
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⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ lee know
stops you from crossing the street until he’s checked it. “stupid, look next time.” beats you twice in a board game but sees that you're sad that you’re not that good at it, but fails the third time just to see you smile and gloat about beating him. he loves seeing you happy, even if he has to purposely fail. leaves you notes everywhere, maybe just ‘i love yous’ mixed in with ‘i know you’ll forget this so don’t.’ text messages asking if you’ve eaten, and then getting mad and sending food to your door if you haven’t. swiftly kisses to the forehead aggressively saying you ‘deserve it’ but sounds like a threat. ‘you know i love you yeah?’ more aggressive kisses. ‘i won’t stop until you say you love me!!’
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⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ changbin
little wrestling matches on the couch, telling you that you’re silly for even trying. pulls you by the back of your hair if you’re not paying attention to him. “i left you the last piece of food.” always, always saves you the last piece no matter what it is. picks you up and throws you around, pretending he’s going to eat you bc apparently he’s a monster. but says you taste good so he doesn’t mind eating you. more wrestles. whenever you’re sad, he always cheers you up and never fails to make you laugh. does his trot impression of some old korean songs, full performance with your glitter jacket on that doesn’t fit him. ‘you still love me now? you better.’ knows you love being engulfed by him, so 90% of the time he is the big spoon. when he's feeling really romantic, he'll do a little picnic at the beach. always making sure it was at sunset because he knew it was your favourite time of the day.
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⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ jisung
midnight trips to get take out, sitting in the car until 2am with both of your feet on the dashboard. ‘remember that time!’ always reminiscing about how you first met, nearly choking on your fries when you recall. kisses in the car, kisses in the house, kisses in the shower, kisses in the dark. ‘babe but i want it.’ chucks a tanty when you don’t buy him things. pouts and folds his arms. ‘if you loved me you would!’ holds the cuff of your jumper, mostly walking behind you whenever you go somewhere because he feels safe. morning calls, but especially night calls. he doesn’t care how you look at the end of the day, he just wants to see you and tell you he loves you. hiding himself in your jumper and saying there is enough room for two (when there isn't.)
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⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ hyunjin
taking you to art galleries, standing behind you with his head resting on yours. ends up putting his hands into your pockets from behind, cutely leading you around from the back. with hyunjin it’s not always words, sometimes it’s just his actions. he pushes your hair out of your face or tucks it behind your hair. mostly, he does your hair for you. always making sure your hair was out of your face because it annoyed you. brings you tea and sits with you if you’re studying or drawing or even watching tv, rubs your thigh gently to let you know that he doesn’t want to distract you, just shows you he wants to be with you. rubs your belly if you feel bloated and talks to it. 'you better stop being bloated or... i'll do something. idk what.' art dates!! always drawing together, even if you're shit he encourages you to keep going
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⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ seungmin
gently slips his fingers into yours without saying anything but smiling to himself when he sees you blush, he kind of loves that he makes you nervous. always taking the chance to make your cheeks tint pink. showers with seungmin, always washing your body and shampooing your hair for you, wet kisses in between. sometimes he’d gently press his nose on your naked skin, enjoying your scent but never admitting it. ‘it’s comforting’ he’d say in defence, ignoring you for the rest of the night. guiding you with his hand on your lower back, making sure you were safe no matter where you were. kisses to the forehead, the back of the hand, the back of your knees. seungmin doesn’t say it much, but he does love you. he shows it through everything else, knowing those words have such a weight to them.
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⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ felix
‘are you gonna cook!?’ jumping up and down when you say yes, annoying you the whole time you’re cooking or baking. ‘is it done? i can’t wait to eat it!!’ eats half of the food before it’s even cooked because he says it’s ‘too good.’ little play fights that would begin from felix nibbling at your fingers and then at your thighs. ‘little gremlin’ you’d end up joking, rolling around on the floor, bodies all over each other, which would end in a heated make out session and clothes far gone. he’d send you random texts, of random things. ‘hey i saw this flower, it's cute, yeah?’ ‘this potato looks like you. it’s too cute to eat T-T’ ‘you think i could eat 11 hot dogs in two minutes? hmm maybe.’ 
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⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ jeongin
blowing raspberries on your tummy and holding you down. sometimes uses your foot as a telephone. ‘yes hello stinky foot line how can i stink you today?’ proceeds to try and hold your foot with his. 'shut up i can do it!!' probably be super sarcastic, mocking you when you tried to be cute with whatever you were saying. karaoke together, always singing out of pitch but though he’s laughing, encourages you to be more confident because he loves seeing you enjoy yourself. watches you sometimes, just admiring you but instantly whips his head around to pretend he wasn’t, head banging into something hanging from the wall. ‘mind your business’ he’d joke, walking away suspiciously.
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♡ taglist: @blankdyean @l3visbby @daddyjoonchua @ipegchangbin @abcdefgiwsmcty ♡
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drchucktingle · 6 months
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From Chuck Tingle, author of the USA Today bestselling Camp Damascus, comes a new heart-pounding story about what it takes to succeed in a world that wants you dead. Misha is a jaded scriptwriter who has been working in Hollywood for years, and has just been nominated for his first Oscar. But when he's pressured by his producers to kill off a gay character in the upcoming season finale―"for the algorithm"―Misha discovers that it's not that simple. As he is haunted by his past, and past mistakes, Misha must risk everything to find a way to do what's right―before it's too late.
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BURY YOUR GAYS cover has been released today and theres something TRULY INCREDIBLE about it, something that bends timelines and melts away the edges of the void and brings tears to my eyes. can you see it? let me explain in a thread as you PREORDER NOW... 
for nearly ten years i have been publishing my stories despite pushback that they are too odd. us buckaroos are the outsiders, but this community has kicked open the door for art that is sincere and strange and beautifully unique. that is my trot and that is OUR trot as buds
we came out of nowhere and made CAMP DAMASCUS a usa today bestseller. every step of the way that book overperformed. buds were CONFUSED that a book from ‘silly meme erotica author’ could take flight. but us buckaroos knew it was inevitable because we know the power of love
i still recall the question ‘are you SURE you do not want a new horror pen name?’ HECK NO i am proud of the tingleverse. i am not ashamed of these queer erotic stories i drag up from bottom of my heart and spill with raw sincerity across irony poisoned timelines
i have been mocked my whole life as author that is ‘ridiculous no-content meme’ by those who have never read it. that my work is ‘not real’. i have been mocked for my autism and queerness and told THIS WOULD NEVER WORK. which brings me back to cover of my new book BURY YOUR GAYS
looks like the name chuck tingle is NOT a liability for the mainstream. all devils who doubted can gaze upon this cover and see bold CHUCK TINGLE staring back at them PROUDLY from the shelf in all its queer autistic glory... HOVERING ABOVE THE TITLE AND JUST AS BIG AND PROUD
thank you nightfire and chucks manager and chucks agent for believing in me. these buds have always had my back. thanks to BUCKAROO COMMUNITY who have always supported my way, this next step in our trot is not just about me IT IS ABOUT US. we kick open these doors together
so heres to making this world a little more unique and strange for those of us who are, ourselves, unique and strange. heres to bending timelines to us, instead of us bending to them. heres to name CHUCK TINGLE big and bold ABOVE the title on a big five traditional published book
and remember the best way to support an author, especially someone on outside pushing their way in, is to PREORDER THEIR BOOK. because of publishing business model it is SO IMPORTANT so if you would like to support chuck then PREORDER BURY YOUR GAYS NOW
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Imagine...Puppy-sitting
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Pairing: Dean x reader
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You were pretty sure you hadn’t seen that look on Dean’s face since he was possessed. You held the puppy in front of his face and he scowled.
“He loves you?” you said, the puppy licking his nose as Dean stared at him.
“How long are we watching it?” he asked.
“A week tops. My friend is out of town and couldn’t bring him with her,” you said. “His name is-”
“Does it matter?” asked Dean. “You take care of it.”
“Alright. I promise he’s super well behaved,” you said.
“Whatever. Just don’t expect me to take care of that thing.”
It was around midnight when you poked your head in the Dean cave to get him in bed. You smiled when you saw him bundled up on the couch though, the dog laying by his side.
“And you said you didn’t like him,” you said.
“I don’t want a dog,” he mumbled. “But maybe we can watch him every once in a while.”
“Whatever you say, Dean.”
Two Months Later
“Miracle! Want to go for walkies!” said Dean, the dog trotting into the kitchen. His face lit up and Dean put on his leash, the pair of them heading into the war room. 
“Says the man that claims he didn’t want a dog,” you said as you finished up your coffee.
“But I love him,” said Dean, picking Miracle up and smushing him. “Miracle’s different. He’s not like other dogs ya know. Survived Chuck and everything.”
“Dean. That dog cuddles you more than I do which is saying something.”
“Fine. I like dogs. I just didn’t want to be responsible for one before you know? But stuff is different now and-”
“I’m happy you love Miracle. Seriously. Give me two minutes so I can come on this walk?” you asked. He smiled and you went to get your shoes.
“Mommy’s gonna come with us, Miracle,” said Dean, the dog barking. “Yeah, I was hoping for that too buddy.”
_______
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kekaki-cupcakes · 1 day
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Heyy! Could I request Jason x Child of Nyx! Reader, i'd figure it'd be a cool thing since you know Zeus and Nyx don't really like each other that and then their children fall in love.
You don't have to do it, if you don't want to and ps. I love all of your works! <3
okay so these have been sitting in my inbox since eons ago, so I decided I was gonna set myself a minimum of 0.4k words because I figured people would rather read a lil bit of their request rather then non of it, but I just churned out 1.2k words of this and I know more then the gods do about nocturnal animals.
enjoy <3
he was raised by wolves - Jason G x child of Nyx reader/animal lover
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»»————- ★ ————-««
Jason dumped his teddy bear jacket on the back of the spinning chair, after he checked there were no hedgehogs eating plum offcuts on it. He’d made that mistake one too many times. There were a lot of miniscule holes in the sleeves of his jacket. 
The medical kit he was looking for was most likely in one of the crates stacked beneath the snake table. The table with the snake tanks on it, obviously. 
Your cabin was dark a lot of the time, when you weren’t there, courtesy of the kingdom of nocturnal animals lurking between books and in pillowcases, so Jason had to turn on a few of the antique lamps you’d found [on the side of the road, of course] so that other people could see.
He got to his knees, wincing at the crack he heard. 
He could also hear a faint hissing. He looked into one of the tanks, and waved at Benjamin. Benjamin was a northern desert night snake. Meaning he looked like if a leopard wearing a choker was turned into a slithery little serpent. Jason was glad you’d passed that pet leopard you used to have onto Pollux and Castor. It got fur all over his clothes.
Benjamin just stuck his tongue out at him, and Jason crawled underneath the desk, looking for the first aid kit every cabin was supposed to have.
There was a pretty high chance you had chucked it out to make room for that little collection of shrinking green frogs you had found in a river by the Hecate cabin, deep in the woods so that when they accidentally cursed bloodlines and the like, no one was in imminent danger. Lou Ellen owed her first born to three different beings, but that was irrelevant. 
He dug past a few boxes of sugar glider pellets, and found the first aid kit. 
“JASON GRACE, SON OF A BITCH, CHILD OF ROME, CONSUL OF DEMIGODS, PRAETOR OF THE FIRST LEGION!”
Jason sat straight up. A thud echoed through the low lit little cabin, and his head began to pound. He’d hit it on the bottom of the snake table. He sniffed, “I said that once.” 
He heard you trot over as he tried to extract himself, the back of his head throbbing painfully. 
“Babe, we talked about this,” you fussed, and yanked him out into the open with the force of someone who took chocolate out of coyotes mouths on the daily. “You gotta stop banging your head! You’re getting that chronic pain from it that Will told you about!”
Jason grumbled about nothing, and squinted as he looked around. Your face was just a blob. 
“You dropped your glasses babe, hear, lemme… wait, hold this,” you said, dumping your wrapped up hoodie into his arms, the one with the moon cycle phases on the back, and then crawling back underneath the snake table. “I’ve got em!”
He watched you slide them back onto his eyes, your hands actually very gentle compared to the yanking from before. He tried not to grin stupidly. The hoodie in his arms wriggled. Jason looked down, and a small spiky red face looked up at him with big shiny eyes.
“Uh…” he said.
You stood up with a huff, “I knew it, you’ve got a concussion. Now you’re slurring your speech!”
“...No, I just wasn’t expecting a fox,” Jason managed to squeak out, staring at the little animal. It was pretty cute. It reminded him of a wolf, but not the wolves he knew, more of a spindly wolf dipped in ketchup. 
You paused, the first aid kit in your hands. “You weren’t? What did you think I was doing in the forest?” 
“I don’t know,” Jason said, standing back up and moving to the squishy blanketed bed behind the humongous crystal ball and stack of telescopes. There were also a few cat playgrounds to weave around, but he managed to sink into your pile of bat shaped teddies and pillows. “Fighting monsters, near death experiences, something regular?”
You rolled your eyes, and sat cross legged on the bed, reaching for his head with those gentle hands that made him understand how you could pick up the deadliest of spiders and feralist of wolverines without even a scratch. 
Jason wasn’t even nocturnal, but he did sink into your hold. 
Then you let go to crack the unfrozen ice pack and let the chemicals take over until it would make the tips of your fingers freezing. Jason knew to expect your cold hands under his shirt, trying to freeze him out. 
He was sort of used to it, though.  
He looked around your cabin while you savagely whacked the poor icepack against one of the many thick framed mirrors lining your walls. A few bats flapped out of their hiding places in the rafters and settled back down. A baby puma hissed from its place by the umbrella stand that was actually just full of swords. 
From the outside, your cabin looked like a tiny portion of a haunted mansion plonked between the Asteria cabin and the Hestia cabin, which was really just a cozy little room for anyone. Jason pet the soft head of the fox napping in his arms. On the inside, though, it was just old lamps and chew toys and even older mirrors. And a lot of poo bags. And record players. And Jason’s hoodies.
You were already wearing his teddy bear jacket, but he didn’t argue when you pressed the ice pack to his head.
“So, what were you really lookin for in there, babe?” you asked, taking back the fox. You held your hand out, and it disappeared into a shadow. 
“Bandages.”
On the other side of the room, out of a shadow, you grabbed a ziploc bag of raspberries. You pulled it back and began feeding the little fox, red staining your cold fingertips. 
“You know you can’t beat Beth, right?” you teased, looking up for a moment with those gorgeous eyes that made Jason’s head feel a little floaty. Or maybe it was just the injury. 
You smirked, “I mean, not that it’s totally not hot when you beat the shit out of people or anything.”
Yep. Definitely just the head injury. Totally.
Jason ate a slightly squashed raspberry. “I know, but I wanted to practise. I was gonna find Will. Can’t remember how to wrap my wrists.”
You passed over the fox, who wiggled out of the hoodie and curled around a fruit bat Squishmellow with a yawn, fangs stained with red that may or may not be berries or blood. 
Jason shuffled forwards on the bed, ice pack falling from his white blonde hair. “My turn?”
“I thought you were going to get the shit beaten out of you by Annabeth?” You said with a smirk. You had that shark tooth necklace on. Jason gave you a half hearted evil eye, and you opened your arms.
He flopped into the hug, pushing you both back onto the bed. A Tasmanian devil [how? You were in America!] and a grumpy looking white tailed deer and about seven different types of bush mice stared at you. 
Jason didn’t care. He snuggled into your hug, chin on your chest. Your fingers ran through his hair.  
He was your favorite feral animal. 
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brainrotdotorg · 1 year
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Disco Elysium characters that would like Chuck Tingle
Harry (obviously. No explanation needed)
Trant (thinks that it’s some kind of high-concept satirical thing and not actually sincere. He hasn’t actually read the books he just likes the idea of studying the guy. Would be patronizing when talking about him)
Roy (Has a small collection of Chuck tingle books at the shop and started reading them on on slow day and is actually kind of fond of them now)
Cindy (recognizes true art when she sees it)
DJ Mesh and Flacio (would fucking love to have him DJ with them live on the air. Maybe switch things up one day and do a reading )
Egghead (I can so clearly hear him saying “LOVE IS REAL! BUDS AND BUCKAROOS TROT TOGETHER, AND THIS PROVES LOVE!”)
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curarems · 1 year
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There's this throwaway line in Hogfather about Ankh-Morpork having Captain Carrot toys, which is fun.
What I really need is there being Commander Vimes toys.
One day, Sam Vimes comes home by 6 pm to read to young Sam. His son is sitting on his bed playing with a bunch of toys - Vimes spots the Captain Carrot toy Angua got him for his last birthday - and when he sees his father, he screams in delight. The world goes soft. Vimes smiles at him, takes a few steps forward - and then he halts mid-step. His face freezes. Surely, that's not...
But it's right there, in young Sam's hand. Vimes considers chucking it out of the window, preferably along with the toymaker responsible. Young Sam is trotting towards him on his little legs and shoves the toy proudly right into his face. He is beaming with delight, babbling, but Vimes is too horrified to understand a word. He catches something like daddy and smawe' dad and wachmen dows.
He stares some more. He hears someone answering young Sam's jabber in a hollow voice. That's a nice toy, young Sam. It takes Vimes a second to realise it's him.
He continues to stare. Did Sybil buy this? She would. She still kept those damn cartoons from the Times. Or maybe Carrot, he was that sort too. Or anyone, really. It didn't matter. It was already in the house; young Sam was already attached.
It was a pity young Sam liked it so much. Vimes couldn't crush that excitement, even if the window did look particularly appealing. He took in the toy one more time.
It was wearing a ducal outfit.
Worse, it was wearing Sam Vimes's face.
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rarilight · 2 months
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Have another excerpt
Rarity left her dusty workshop, bitterly slamming the door shut like she did every morning she stepped in there under the delusion that maybe this would be the day she’d create. Relief washed over her soon after. A very sick, perverse sort of relief one has after easily convincing yourself that your problems can’t be fixed, clearly.
Rarity used to be a designer. A great one and an awful one at once. But that didn’t matter anymore—the quality or quantity—because she wasn’t a designer anymore anyway.
And yet, trotting into her dimly lit lobby, a pang tore through her chest at the sight of a sign on a table, waiting to be hung.
“Closed for business at the time,” it said in bright, bold, colorful, desperate letters, “but worry not, we will be opening again soon! Thank you for your patience.”
Rarity loathed that sign.
It was a lie, the most blatant lie she could ever put out into the world, and she hated that it was a lie, and she hated that it wasn’t a lie, and she hated the colors, and the letters, and everything about that bloody sign.
Every morning she looked at it, she told herself she ought to burn it. She ought to tear it into pieces, chuck it in a bucket and set the entire sunforsaken thing aflame, burning to cinders like her own sunforsaken career.
Why keep the charade going? Why trick ponies? Why continue to be an awful pony, stringing along the kind clients who genuinely and lovingly supported her endeavors even despite them being nonexistent for ages? Why cling to hope that one day things would change, that there was a light at the end of the neverending tunnel?
I’m going to burn it, she thought to herself, ruefully taking it in her magic.
But, instead, she opened her front door, smiled brilliantly at a waving neighbor, hung the sign on the doorknob, went back inside her house, closed the front door, and then screamed until her throat felt like it was bleeding.
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