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#try and exercise more too
raksh-writes · 7 months
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Welp, today's the day I finally stepped on a scale after, like, I dunno, years probably? Aaaanndd well... that was a number I haven’t seen there before xd Which is both good and bad.
Bad because I gained a few kgs since the last time and apparently went over the healthy bmi and body fat amount (not by a lot, but like around 1,5 each), if the online calculators are to be believed, but it's also good in the sense this might finally give me enough motivation to kick myself in the ass and start moving goddammit.
I've already been trying to do some light exercises a couple times a week but maybe this will help me up the ante + I have, for the first time in my life, decided to try and count my calories intake. Which is... weird, lmao, but also interesting? I haven’t been eating a lot, tbh, and pretty much no sweets or snacking, I kinda grew out of it? So I guess most of my added weight comes from lack of exercise and maaaybe hormone changes. Ive been on and off the pill several times during the last year-two, currently off for a couple of months, so I think that could’ve thrown my body into alarm mode of gathering fat "just in case".
With the calories intake counting, Im mainly curious to see how much I get in the day when I eat as I normally do and if there's a reason for the weight gain somewhere in there. Like today Im already after dinner and I'll probably only make myself a light supper and won’t even meet the amount the app Im using calculated for me to lose the weight I want (5 kg for now to get back to the healthy bmi scale), so that's very interesting and Im wondering if maybe Im eating less on some days but more on others and that's also making my body "put away" the extra? I don’t actually know how all of this works, so Im just making guesses right now.
And the exercise part, ooof. It didn’t use to be so hard, goodness grace, Im Really out of shape. Tho, I guess the added kgs are impacting me too. Im starting slow, mostly stretching + some squats, some shorter video exercises, the kind. I know it'd probably help to make a regime, but that's only gonna make me miserable, so for now Im setting myself a goal of just Doing Something everyday and whenever I feel stronger, I'll just do more on the day. Otherwise the pressure I put on myself might kill any fun or motivation Id have.
This is pretty much just my personal rambling, which I might turn into a bit of a diary to help myself keep track and all (its weirdly easier to just type up a tumblr post than open up a notebook and write it down? Huh...), so like if anyone got through this whole post, damn, thank you, I guess, hah. If you have any tips, I'd be glad to read them! ^^
Let's see how long this bout of motivation lasts me 😂🙈
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And that’s a wrap for Comic Con 2024! Ha, it was a lot of fun, but I really enjoyed dressing up as Mondo today! I even had a couple people recognize him! And a few others just liked the hair, one of whom asked how long it took me to get my hair like that, which tells me that at least it looks natural enough for people to mistake it as my actual hair, ha.
Overall, Comic Con was cool! On Thursday, I attended a live podcast recording for Braving the Elements, which is an Avatar the Last Airbender podcast hosted by Janet Varney and Dante Bosco (the voices of Korra and Zuko, respectively), and I actually got a trivia question right and I should (hopefully…) get an email from them soon to get a prize for answering the question right. If not… oh well. At least I’ll be featured briefly on the podcast answering trivia correctly, even though I usually suck at trivia, ha.
The rest of the days were a bit more meh, but I still had fun. I won a Pokeball ornament from a Hallmark panel, since I knew how many Squirtles were in the Squirtle Squad, aha. Which leaves my trivia score 2 for 2 at the moment.😅 I also got a free shirt and scarf for the upcoming Yakuza live action show, which was neat. I’ve never played Yakuza, but my brother has, so I was able to give him the shirt at least.
Still, while Comic Con was fun, I’m definitely glad it’s over so I can go home and clean up from my frantic cosplay creating the last several weeks, oof.
Also! On the first day I dressed at Taka, but since I was by myself I only have the one photo my dad was able to quickly take of me before he had to drive off and a quick selfie I took in the car.
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scoots-canoe · 2 months
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various ten doodles :)
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ravenkings · 2 years
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i really wish mental health discourse wasn’t divided into the two polarities of: “everything you do and say and every way you behave is completely valid bc you have ~~✨trauma✨~~” and “there’s nothing wrong with you, mental illness is an invention of big pharma to sell pills, stop whining and just go for a walk”
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werewolfbarista · 1 month
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no........could it be ....? new stretch marks above my hips..............?! quick, someone praise me‼️‼️
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rains-pace · 1 year
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in honor of the new spider-verse movie i did a quick study of one of my favorite shots from the original !! <33
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cuteniarose · 1 month
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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!
#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's#and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in#+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me#in the rain#I nearly fucking died#I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on#nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge#it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks#I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer#and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while#also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful#which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't#bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money#anyway. getting distracted again#do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did#and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here#sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account#I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still#I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth#I don't really care enough to look it up#the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want#if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is#also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later
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ofyorkshire · 3 months
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hummmms... reminded that bj would actually be very susceptible to cults.
desperate for connection, love, and acceptance in multiple angles. would bend, quite frankly, to any amount of it and forgives a lot in order to get it.
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crystalpallette · 1 month
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I love it when they give guns to pretty girls and also they are in summerwear
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Today my roommate (m) got home from work (landscaping) before his wife and usually she makes him shower right away but today he did NOT and he instead hung out in the main area and I'm still getting whiffs of it three hours later
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protemporescitor · 4 months
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I'm calling everyone out today.
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butch-himbo-king · 3 months
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.
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quanblovk · 10 months
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Lately i've been having real problems with my blood pressure OH NO-
So i'll have to take an actual hiatus until it gets better, it's getting harder to draw due to my brain fog.
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bearsinpotatosacks · 6 days
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Update on my Whumptober thoughts: Not all the prompts will be posted, I have all 31 planned out but I found out that you don't have to post all 31. If a fic is finished, I'll post it but there's some big beasts that I want to write properly instead of rush. Also, I might not even write all 31. I want the completionist title but I don't have the time nor energy to force myself to write all the prompts and I did it last year and it wasn't like life-changing. I like Whumptober because the prompts help my creativity, spark some inspiration (talking about my Delancey Brothers Fic) but the perfectionist in me just beats myself up about not getting enough fics done before October or not writing enough each day to get them finished and then writing fics that all sound the same or the ideas being kind of shitty because I'm forcing them. I want to do my ideas justice rather than mass produce shit I don't like because I feel I need to, it's a constant line I walk between "I want to write something well and that I'm proud of so might be inactive for a while on AO3" and "I want to get this idea out there so need to post a bunch of stuff now"
#also i don't know why i feel i have to update people#i genuinely think that people will give me flack about not posting 31 prompts but calling myself a completionist#or saying i've got loads of fics coming up for the bear because of whumptober then not posting anything#i've made good progress with some things#the ed fic#but others are complete and not how i want them to be#there's a few fics exploring richie's birth family and him reconnecting that i want to do better#or him quitting the bear and becoming a nurse that i want to do justice#or just the fact that all i'm thinking of is my mikey lives au but it doesn't fit whumptober so i'm not writing it#and to top it off#my way of writing is changing from plan a lot and then write each scene in order and do that every day#to not being able to flesh out ideas so just writing down scenes until i get the vibe#it feels less dedicated to me personally#just because it's different and i'm a perfectionist who's too thorough sometimes#also half the time i plan a fic in detail then cba because it's too daunting#so i'm taking a leaf out of scenedenial's book and giving myself more freedom and trying not to beat myself up#that i've got 10 fics on the go and they're all slow going#because that's what i can manage#september is and will continue to be a stressful month for me#got my 2nd attempt at my driving test on 24th september and i'm an anxious wreck#also work on top of that and trying to have a life and let myself chill and say watch footie with my dad or grey's anatomy with my mum#rather than sit at a computer not writing all day#you've got to do stuff to be motivated#also exercise#i'm trying to exercise regularly and there's only so much time in the day when you work 9 hours a week#when did this become a vent post?#personal#kinda
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polyamorouspunk · 4 months
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Honestly I could use a pep talk. This week the positive/negative whiplash has been horrible
Grace my love you have been such a comforting presence in my and a lot of other people’s lives. I’m so, so sorry that things haven’t been going spectacular for you but as I’ve said to you, having someone who is going through a lot of the same things that I am makes me feel so much less alone. I really, really hope that we can find some consistency in it all. Today when I was driving home I was thinking of that cliche “if you could have any superpower what would it be” and I thought “I wish I could control my emotions”. And I thought… that’s not a superpower. That’s something “normal” people can do. But I feel like I can’t. But maybe more things are in my control than I realize. Sometimes I do think that I make excuses for myself. And that’s not to say that we as human beings can control everything in our lives. In fact, it’s what we CAN’T control that brings us stress. Like other people changing their minds about plans and shit 😅 but that’s what makes us dynamic. That’s what makes us human. So I guess, you know, I would be bored or whatever if everything was easy and my life is perfect. I mean, we all need a little drama, right? Like the harmless kind. Like when you go through the drive-through and they give you the wrong order. It’s humbling. It gives us something to complain about. Like, I didn’t fuck up badly to warrant an entire Netflix show about it. At least it’s not THAT bad yet. And I mean. We have all, everyone here, made it through the worse times of our lives already. And sure, there’s every chance the worst thing that’s ever going to happen to us hasn’t happened yet (especially those of us who haven’t reached 25 yet) but honestly as I look back I feel like everything that really sticks out as bad to me isn’t more or less worse than the thing before or after it. It’s just the most present, so it’s the one that hurts them most. I’m GLAD I’m not 16, 18, 20 anymore, even if I had things then I wish I had now and have pain now I didn’t have then. Sometimes the things I have to look forward to don’t feel like enough but what is the alternative? I just have to keep going. I can’t give up. We can’t give up. We have to keep fighting. I refuse to be the one that knocks me down.
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dreamlogic · 5 months
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musing in the tags about the view two years out from my hysterectomy and the shifting nature of neuropathy. i asked my PT for recommendations/resources pertaining to pain science and that's been a very helpful lenses to have. i'm still not back to normal, will never be unmarked by this experience or return to my pre-op self, but my baseline has been gradually increasing over the last few months, and it feels good to look back on the last two years and say "i have no idea how i managed to function while living with that, but i did!"
#meatsuit renno#chronic blogging#ctxt#at first post-hysto pain was a deep burning ache#and eventually that lessened on my left side and settled in for the long haul on the right#after a couple weeks it had started to feel like a small carnivorous creature scrabbling and gnawing at the inside of my abdomen#nestled into the hollow of my pelvis and reaching up with its raking claws#about 6 months in and the creature still chewed occasionally but had shrunk to the size of a tennis ball under my right incision site#it clamped its jaws down and went to sleep and i perpetually felt like someone had pinched a fold of my insides with a large binder clip#this constant awful twisting tug every time i moved that kept me from straightening up or breathing fully#this is about a year into recovery and my original surgeon has blown off my requests for follow-up treatment three times now#i carried on as best i could. fatigue and brainfog getting worse & worse as the pain wore on unrelentingly#about a year and a half into recovery it worsened again. searing lancing pain like i'd been impaled on a piece of white hot rebar#couldn't hardly move. couldn't think straight. couldn't sleep#finally checked myself into urgent care & then the ER just to try to get someone anyone to take me seriously and help me#finally got a referral to a new surgeon who immediately pinned it as extreme neuropathy#started gabapentin end of december last year and the relief was immediately#i never thought i would welcome the gritted teeth vice grip of my little feral pain creature#but when i felt the molten spike slide out to be replaced once more by its worrying jaws#the intermittent spark and fizzle of that pinching squirming pain was a dramatic improvement#then i started PT in march and slowly so slowly the creature's hungry grip is loosening#it still clamps down occasionally. maybe once every week or two i'll have a day when i just accept#that there will be a horrible little creature chewing on my right side from the inside#but nowadays with the gabapentin doing as much as it can and an exercise routine i must stick to religiously to supplement PT#the pain is more of a little pearl of dark matter shifting around under my skin#it's incredibly dense. the heart of a black hole of disabling agony. all that white hot fury condensed into a slick heavy marble#as i recover some of my strength and energy i can feel my body coating it in nacreous layers to minimize its influence#my hysterectomy was 2 years and 4 days ago today and i feel like i can finally finally say i'm beginning to truly heal#i suspect i'll always carry this pearl in my side like shrapnel. product of damaged nerve tissue that went untreated for far too long#i wish my original surgeon had been more competent more attentive less lazy & indifferent to my pain. but i still don't have any regrets.
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