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#but yeah I do wanna try and lose some weight
raksh-writes · 7 months
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Welp, today's the day I finally stepped on a scale after, like, I dunno, years probably? Aaaanndd well... that was a number I haven’t seen there before xd Which is both good and bad.
Bad because I gained a few kgs since the last time and apparently went over the healthy bmi and body fat amount (not by a lot, but like around 1,5 each), if the online calculators are to be believed, but it's also good in the sense this might finally give me enough motivation to kick myself in the ass and start moving goddammit.
I've already been trying to do some light exercises a couple times a week but maybe this will help me up the ante + I have, for the first time in my life, decided to try and count my calories intake. Which is... weird, lmao, but also interesting? I haven’t been eating a lot, tbh, and pretty much no sweets or snacking, I kinda grew out of it? So I guess most of my added weight comes from lack of exercise and maaaybe hormone changes. Ive been on and off the pill several times during the last year-two, currently off for a couple of months, so I think that could’ve thrown my body into alarm mode of gathering fat "just in case".
With the calories intake counting, Im mainly curious to see how much I get in the day when I eat as I normally do and if there's a reason for the weight gain somewhere in there. Like today Im already after dinner and I'll probably only make myself a light supper and won’t even meet the amount the app Im using calculated for me to lose the weight I want (5 kg for now to get back to the healthy bmi scale), so that's very interesting and Im wondering if maybe Im eating less on some days but more on others and that's also making my body "put away" the extra? I don’t actually know how all of this works, so Im just making guesses right now.
And the exercise part, ooof. It didn’t use to be so hard, goodness grace, Im Really out of shape. Tho, I guess the added kgs are impacting me too. Im starting slow, mostly stretching + some squats, some shorter video exercises, the kind. I know it'd probably help to make a regime, but that's only gonna make me miserable, so for now Im setting myself a goal of just Doing Something everyday and whenever I feel stronger, I'll just do more on the day. Otherwise the pressure I put on myself might kill any fun or motivation Id have.
This is pretty much just my personal rambling, which I might turn into a bit of a diary to help myself keep track and all (its weirdly easier to just type up a tumblr post than open up a notebook and write it down? Huh...), so like if anyone got through this whole post, damn, thank you, I guess, hah. If you have any tips, I'd be glad to read them! ^^
Let's see how long this bout of motivation lasts me 😂🙈
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frobby · 2 months
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Romance manga with a fat mc/love interest: :D
They were only fat because of trauma and now that theyre in a relationship theyre skinny: :(
#STOP DOING THIS LET THEM BE FAT FOR FATS SAKE FAKE PEOPLE DESERVE LOVE ITS NOT A BARRIER TO OVERCOME#KILLING KILLING KILLING#Genetically fat people deserve love fat people who got fat from trauma and STAY fat deserve love#Of course this narrative wouldnt be a problem if it wasnt literally every single one#Even if its not this specific narrative its usually still about fatness and how that hinders a relationship#Why cant someone be fat and it be uninportant to the story#For some positivity im gonna highlight some of my fave fat romance mangas#Minegishi loves otsu#Its always minegishi loves otsu go read it now it does pretty much everything right fat boy wise and otsu is insecure about his weight#But its not like bad insecure its regular insecure like its not a conflict#Confessions of a shy baker#The only influence one of the characters weight has on the story is his boyfriend is baking him healthy treats cuz hes trying to lose weigh#Which on its face i dont think is a bad thing and its not what the story is about its just a facet of their relationship#Its pretty funny and chill also like...if u wanna make healthy treats theres a bunch of actual recipes in it#Mori no takuma#Okay this one is weird and technically does everything wrong to a comical degree and thats why i like it#Also takuma stays fat even after the ending plus for him#It does have the weird 'he gets skinny when its nervous' and it is literally about the girl not wanting to date a fat guy but whatever#You may notice that......all of these are where a man is fat and yeah#I would list one if i had one#For context im a fat lesbian#Attracted to fat women#Anyway if yall have fat romance manga suggestions lemme know id love to read them#animanga#anime#manga#anime and manga
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mostly-imagines · 5 months
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Scenes From an Afternoon Odyssey
jason todd x fem!reader
aka a day in the forest
4 in 1 blurbs
warnings: reader wears a bra
middle picture art by spaceboykenny
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You’ve nearly reached the peak of the slope, the uphill trek putting quite a toll on your legs. Jason insisted on holding your hand because his longer stride tends to put him several steps ahead of you. The sun beats down on your backs, the uptake in the heat of the day actually feeling quite nice compared to the chill that’s swept over Gotham recently.
Upon arriving at the flat plane, you take in a pretty array of sunflowers and a thoughtfully placed bench.
Jason halts his steps, looking back at you. “You need a break?” He asks, noting the way your breathing has become a bit labored.
You hum, taking a deep inhale. “Just for a second,” you say, plopping down on the bench.
He reaches behind him to fish the water bottle out of the pocket of his backpack. “Drink some water.” he says gruffly, holding the bottle out to you.
You don’t particularly feel like you need water again just yet, but you know better than to try and fight him on something related to taking care of yourself. It’s a losing battle and he’s proved it time and time again.
You take the drink from him, taking a couple sips. He eyes you with disapproval, bringing his hand up to tilt the bottom of the bottle up more. You down a few gulps, trying not to smile.
He takes the bottle back from you, taking a couple gulps of his own. Once the water returns to its pocket, he sits down next to you, hand massaging your thigh. In turn, your hand moves up to the nape of his neck, playing with the short hair there.
Despite your claim, you sit for longer than a second, listening to the birds chirping and the leaves rustling in the wind. It really is a beautiful day and Jason knew a great trail that’s hardly ever busy. It’s aways away from Gotham, but any excuse he can take to get the two of you out of the smog filled city, he’ll take.
Between the serenity of the scene in front of you and the warmth of his touch on your thigh, your breathing steadies pretty quickly.
You peer at the path ahead, taking note of how level and easy it looked. Your hand flattens on the base of his neck as you turn to him, “I could beat you in a race.” You say decidedly.
He huffs out a laugh, meeting your eyes with a glint of amusement shining in his own. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” You smile, nodding, “Been waiting for a chance to prove it.”
You stand up, turning around to take his hand and pull him up with you. He does most of the work for you, pulling his weight up himself.
“You wanna go?” He smiles, looking down at you.
“Do you wanna go?” Your smile grows impossibly, and Jason decides right then and there that he’d do absolutely anything to see you light up like that again.
You figure a sprint is your best chance, you’re not willing to bet that you can beat out a vigilante when it comes to endurance. Especially considering the uphill incline almost took you out.
You settle on a finish line about 30 feet away, and as you position yourselves to start, you feel your overconfidence begin to cave back in on you. His stature swamps you out, and it's becoming clear that you’ve got no real chance here. In any case, you’ve committed and this is happening.
“Ready…set…” both of you have the idea to start before you say go, taking off with haste.
You’re laughing as you run, which isn’t doing you any favors with keeping ahead of him, though you’re able to maintain a pretty neck and neck match.
Did he let you win? Yeah. He’s a gentleman, of course. He’s right on your tail though, and lifts you up from under your arms as you cross the finish line, nipping at your neck as you giggle.
He sets you back down gently, “Alright, fast girl. You need a drink?” He tucks some stray hair in your face back behind your ear.
“No, I’m...” You pause, scanning around. You point at a big tree along the side of the trail ahead. “You see that tree right there?”
He glances over, “Yeah?”
You take off sprinting for it without another word. And apparently cheating is a quick ticket to him dropping the act and beating you without an ounce of mercy.
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You’re sitting on a relatively level branch in a tree next to Jason, one of your legs resting on top of one of his. You swing your free leg back and forth, biting into your sandwich.
There’s a couple juice boxes balancing in the small space between you, both half empty. He’d laughed at you when you picked them up from the store on the way there, but he drinks it all the same.
He holds your ziplock bag of chips out to you and you take a small handful, popping them into your mouth. When your hand moves to return to your side, he takes it in his own and presses your knuckles to his lips gently.
With a sly smile, you watch butterflies dance around each other and listen to birds singing their offbeat songs. And you think about Jason. You think about how he held you in his arms last night so you could fall asleep while he read. How on the way up here he’d held your hand as you balanced across the stones, forcing him to walk at a much slower pace than he’d probably prefer. You told him he could walk a little ahead, but he’d insisted on holding your hand so you didn’t “slip and bust your head open” in his words.
You wouldn’t know it, but he’s combing through his own set of memories of you too. It’s a bit silly to spend so much time dwelling on these warm memories about someone that’s only right next to you, but you’ve both found it’s hard to stop.
It used to scare Jason, how often you occupied his whole mind. He’d never felt such intense adoration and devotion before that he’d nearly mistaken it for fight or flight. It was foreign and strange, and it felt like danger. But it didn’t take long for the effects of his love to kick in like a drug, and now he can’t get enough of you.
But you don’t feel like a drug, you feel like a cure. You make him feel like himself again, like death never got a hold of him and like he’s an innocent soul anew. You treat him like it, at least.
Maybe it’s silly to fall into such a deep pit of thoughts about you when you’re right there, smiling so bright over at him and gleefully pointing out a couple of squirrels that are fighting over an acorn. But he’s happy to let you take up as much space in his head as you want.
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You sit with your legs dangling off the pier, shoes cast aside so you can enjoy the cool water. Jason sits a few feet behind you, laying down against the wood of the dock, the sun beating down on his face.
The water is a beautiful blue marble reflection, and the sun radiates down on your skin, sending warmth throughout your body which combats the light breeze handily. You lean down and dip your hand into the water, letting it run between your fingers like thread.
“Can we swim?” you pipe up, looking over your shoulder at Jason.
He raises his eyebrows at you, “You didn’t know there was a lake up here.” He means he knows you don’t have a swimsuit under your clothes.
You shrug, “There’s no one up here.”
He scans around mildly, before looking at the water. “Yeah, okay.” He tugs his shirt off his back, coming to a stand.
You grin, pulling up the material of your own shirt from your waist. Once it’s swept over your head, Jason’s left in just his boxers and not a moment later you’re in a similar state.
He smiles at you, wrapping his arms around your waist and it takes you no time at all to realize where he’s going with this. He lifts you up off the ground and dives off the dock, submerging you both in the water.
You bob back up out of the water, not even trying to suppress the glee on your face. And somewhat to your surprise, neither does he.
You’d had dinner at the manor with his family last night and you were still a bit attuned to Jason’s closed off, stoic mood that he gets in around them. He feels something akin to insecurity when he openly emotes around them. Vulnerability, maybe. Either way, you know he hates the feeling and will avoid it at all costs so it’s nice when it’s just the two of you and he gets to act like himself.
Unlike Jason, you can’t quite touch the floor of the lake, so you tread with the water wavering at your neck. The water barely reaches the start of Jason’s shoulders as he stands before you.
He closes the small space between you before his arms make their way under your thighs, lifting you up out of the water slightly. He looks up at you with a lazy smile as you wrap your legs around his body. Your cheeks warm and you hold his face in your hands, leaning down to kiss him with heat.
He deepens the kiss, thumbs rubbing at your thighs as his head tilts back. Your thumbs stroke at his cheek in turn, smiling against his lips.
He actually whines when you pull away, chasing your lips. You rest your hands on his shoulders, simpering down at him.
“Alright, slow down, hotshot. We’re not doing anything in a lake.” You laugh, pushing the dripping white streak back with the rest of his wet hair.
He huffs, “If there was anyone around here I promise you would not be half naked right now.”
You push yourself off of him, dropping back down into the water. “Other people are the least of your concerns,” you say, grinning and splashing him in the face, backing away with haste.
He blinks the water out of his eyes, laughing. “That’s how it is?”
You bite your lip as he approaches and you continue to retreat. “Can’t have you losing focus.”
He raises his brow at you, wearing a smile that says that you should know that was a mistake. He proves it as he dives after you, lifting you up over his shoulder and tossing you into the water with an unfair amount of ease.
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You’re a bit hidden away in the tall grass, the scent of lavender flowers placing you in repose. You’re laying with your head in his lap, eyes closed as he pages through his book.
He’s reading out loud, though if you’re being honest, you haven’t fully processed a single word he’s read in at least ten minutes. He’s good at making you relax with his voice, and the amount of exercise you’ve gotten in today is doing nothing to slow it down.
You can’t think of when he started playing with your hair, but it feels soothing and frankly it’s making you very sleepy. Between the gravelly lull of his words and the rustling of the flora throughout the field you’re about to pass out.
“I’m gonna fall asleep.” You mumble, eyes shut.
His hand stills and he extends his book away from his body so he can see your face. “Sweetheart, there’s not a chance in hell you were awake that whole time.”
“I was,” you say, blinking up at him blearily. “I was just resting my eyes.”
He looks down at you skeptically. “How long have we been here?”
You click your tongue, “Like fifteen minutes.”
“It’s been an hour and a half.” he says simply, flipping his book shut from the last page as proof.
“It has n—” you look up at the sky and notice the sun is in a wildly different spot than it was when you’d first laid down. You’re almost completely in the shadows of the trees now. “Wh—why did you let me sleep for so long?”
He hums lowly, “You looked peaceful.” He pauses, “Pretty.”
He looks at the sky, squinting. He nudges you off his lap gently, coming to a stand. “Come on. The sun’s gonna start going down soon.”
You groan and he pulls you up to join him, your fatigue tailing after you. You lean your weight against him and rest your head on his chest, closing your eyes again. “Let’s just stay here.”
You feel him shake his head. “Can’t stay here, sweetheart. Who’ll feed the strays back home?”
He’s right. You can’t leave them to dumpster dive again.
You groan louder as you pull back and stand up straight. “You did not mention that the trail was so long.” You look down at your sore legs and try to stretch them out a bit to get energy back in them.
When you look back up at him, he’s swinging the backpack on, but he stops midway, dropping it to his side again.
He slugs his backpack over your shoulders, turning his back to you and bending down a bit. You take the hint and jump up. He catches you with ease, hoisting you up higher.
He starts down the grassy path out of the field, sidestepping flowers and bumblebees as he goes. Your head lulls to the side and ends with your cheek resting on his shoulder.
He bobs you up, “If I’m carrying you all the way back to the car you have to stay awake.”
“If you’re carrying me all the way back to the car, what difference does it make?” you grumble, eyes fluttering.
“Keep me company.”
You pick your head up and press a kiss to his neck. “I can do that. What do you want to eat tonight?”
He hums thoughtfully. “You wanna get pizza?”
You nod, pleased. “Big day for us.”
You have one arm draped loosely over his shoulder and the other lags by your side. “Are you going on patrol tonight?” You ask him.
He peers back at you haphazardly, “Uh, no—will you hold onto me, please?”
You’re nowhere near falling, but you know that’s not why he wants you to hold onto him. You’re happy to oblige though. You wrap your arms around him, crossing them over each other so you can hold onto his shoulders.
Seemingly content, he continues, “No, I’m not. Wanna stay in with you.”
“Aw. Going soft on me?” You rag.
He hums deeply, “Or maybe I'm just sick of being around Dick.”
You scoff, “Well, if you’re gonna be mean.”
“I’m literally carrying you right now.” He shrugs you up a bit in emphasis. Fair enough.
You look up and can see the pinking hues of the sky in between the leaves of the trees, glowing down softly on you. Your mouth twists into a contemplative frown. It takes you a moment to piece together where you’re at, but you eventually realize you’re only halfway back to the car. “I don’t think we’re gonna make it back before sunset.”
“That’s okay.” He tells you.
You rest your chin on his shoulder, a bemused pout on your face. “You hate it when I’m outside after dark.”
“I hate it when you’re alone outside after dark.” He corrects.
“Ah.” You nod, thoughtfully. “But now I’ve got my strong boyfriend to protect me, right?”
He scoffs but you’re just upset you can’t see the flush on his cheeks that you’re certain is there.
Though he shows no signs of struggling, you’re beginning to feel guilty that he’s spending his day off lugging you around.
“I can walk.” You offer, pushing yourself up a bit, ready to jump down.
“I know.” He says simply, shrugging you up higher.
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moonstruckme · 7 months
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Your work has been a great source of joy and relief to me (at last after a day of shitty circumstance i get to thrive in my free time with your witing) and i just want to thank you for that...💗💗💗
But i do also wanna request a jealous reader to james or remus, I'm genuinely curious as to how they'll handle that and what will they do to satiate reader
Thank you, sweetheart! Love you <3
James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 2.1k words
James looks especially sightly today, his brown skin gleaming in the sun and hair stuck slick to his forehead. He’s shirtless, which is always a treat, muscled abdomen sometimes distorted beneath the pool water and sometimes slipping above, inadvertently teasing, and his shoulders look especially strapping with Lily’s pale thighs seated atop them. 
You really like Lily. You’re quite disappointed in yourself, actually, for the hot flash of malice that goes through you when she burrows her manicured fingers in your boyfriend’s hair, laughing about losing her balance. James moves his grip from her knees up to her thighs, promising he’s got her. Something foul and warmish curdles in your gut. 
On the other side of the pool, Sirius and Remus advance like a totem pole with two wildly different faces, one menacing and the other reluctant. They’d asked if you wanted to play chicken, but getting pushed and shoved by Sirius isn’t your idea of a good time. You figured you’d be more content here, sitting on the edge of the pool with your feet kicking idly in the cool water, but now you can see how it does sort of look like a couples activity, Sirius atop Remus’ shoulders and Lily on James’. It’s no secret that James had pined after Lily for years. It was back in their school days, before you met him, but it’s been brought up a few times in a teasing way that’s made it clear to you that everyone knew how he felt about her. You wonder if Lily ever thinks about it. If she’s assured, consciously or not, that she could have him back at any time of her choosing. It’s not something you love to dwell upon. 
The pairs are fairly evenly matched. Sirius fights dirty, splashing water up at Lily and trying to unhook one of her knees from around James’ shoulder, but Remus can’t be bothered to participate and looks like he’d be just as happy to be pushed over and call it done. Lily, meanwhile, isn’t as creative a fighter and is only shoving at Sirius’ shoulders, but James provides a strong base. His fingers dig into the soft flesh of her legs, calling up encouragements and occasionally freeing a hand to pinch upwards at Sirius’ side. Sirius shrieks and swears at this, claiming that it’s against the rules. Eventually, Remus gets tired of supporting his boyfriend’s weight and feigns a fall back into the water. Sirius squawks as he goes down, and Lily and James cheer and high-five before he helps her dismount with far more grace. 
You clap and smile like a good girlfriend. James beams as he swims over to you. Sometimes looking at James’ smile at full capacity is a bit like looking at the sun, and you feel like you need some special glasses to gaze directly at it. This is one of those times. 
He takes your calf in his big hand and leans his cool cheek on your warm knee and makes you feel like the most special girl in the world, and you can’t stop thinking that Lily probably knows this exact feeling. 
You make extra sure to be nice to Lily on your way out later that evening, guilty and vexed with yourself for the way you’ve been thinking about her. James waves a friendly goodbye to the group as you both step outside. 
Instantly, his arm is around your shoulders, pulling you into his warmth. James was prepared for the nighttime chill, pulling a sweatshirt out of his bag as soon as the sun set, whereas you’re in a tank top and shorts that have grown damp from your swimsuit. You lean into him gratefully. 
“Did you have a good time today?” he asks.
“Mhm.” 
“Yeah?” He tilts his head a bit, looking down at your face. “You seemed a bit off.” 
You shrug. You should have expected James would notice. “I guess I just wished I’d participated more.” 
He makes a contemplative humming sound. “You don’t mean that you think people didn’t want you to participate, right? They love you, angel, you know that.” 
“No, I…” You want to say I know, but you’re worried you’ll sound conceited. You never usually second-guess yourself like this around James. You sort of hate it. “I just didn’t realize that if I said no to playing chicken, Lily was going to be your partner instead.” 
He’s quiet for a second. Something in your gut twists uneasily. 
“I thought you liked Lily.” 
“I do.” 
“Are you jealous?” 
“No.” 
You answer without thinking, because whatever you might be feeling right now, you are not a jealous person. You won’t be that kind of girlfriend. The breeze picks up, and goosebumps prickle down your arms, making you shiver.
“Are you cold?” James asks. 
You know he’s going to want to give you his sweatshirt, and you really can’t be taking things from him right now. “I’m alright.” 
“You know you’ve got nothing to worry about with Lily,” he tells you, thumb brushing softly over the skin of your bare shoulder. It should be reassuring, but suddenly you’re thinking about how this same hand looked so comfortable wrapped around Lily’s thigh. You step out from under his arm, crossing your arms as casually as you can against the chill. 
“I’m not worried,” you reply. 
James looks perplexed, and also a little dubious. The thought of him not believing you, even if you are lying, fills you with a burning indignation. 
“I just don’t see why you had to be touching her so much,” you say. “You could’ve looked a bit less eager.” 
He actually laughs at that, but the look on your face stops him quickly. “Sorry, but did you really think I looked eager?” he asks, a little smile still teasing the corners of his lips like you’re a child he has to talk down from a fit. “That’s just part of the game, sweetheart.” 
The way he says it, sweetheart, suddenly feels less affectionate and more like a placation. Condescending. Heat builds behind your eyes, and you realize with horror that you feel like you might actually cry. You’ve never felt so distant from James. Not even when you’d first started dating. 
You pick up your pace, staying ahead to keep him from seeing your face. “You didn’t have to touch her legs so much,” you huff. 
“I was keeping her from falling off!” he laughs, incredulous. 
You roll your eyes. James lengthens his stride to catch up to you. 
“So let me get this straight,” he says. He sounds more serious than before, which you thought you’d wanted but now you’re not so sure. Your heart trembles. “You wanted me to throw the whole game to just avoid touching my friend’s legs?” 
“She wasn’t always your friend,” you remind him. 
“Yes, she was.”
You don’t know how to respond to that. From a factual standpoint, he’s not wrong, but you know that Lily was more than that in James’ head for quite some time. He can’t boil it down to something so simple. 
The silence stretches out between you, ice-thin and just as cold. Then you shiver again, and James sets a hand on your shoulder. It’s only there for a second before he retracts it, as if unsure what he’s allowed. Your heart throbs. 
“You are cold,” he says, and his tone is doting teetering on the brink of accusatory. He grabs the hem of his sweatshirt. “Here, have—”
“I don’t want your sweatshirt,” you say sharply. 
James pauses. “Why not?” 
“I just don’t.” 
“Sweetheart, you’re cold.” 
“So what?” You cross your arms harder, trying to hide your trembling under the guise of general agitation. “That’s not what we’re talking about.” 
“What are we talking about?” he asks you. “How I let Lily sit on my shoulders as part of a game and now I’ll surely leave you for her?” 
Even as a joke, it stings. “Would you?”
“Of course not!” His hands spread out in front of him, helpless. “What do you want me to do? Should I just never be friends with another girl again?” 
“No, it’s not—it’s not that.” Your eyes burn. You’re frustrated with him for intentionally missing the point, and frustrated with yourself for needing his reassurance in the first place. “I just want to know that you’d pick me over her.” 
“I have!”
“You didn’t pick, James.” Your breathing is starting to sound ragged. The words taste acidic in your mouth. “She picked for you.” 
“Angel, that was ages ago.” James softens his voice, likely hearing the tears in yours. “I don’t see her that way anymore. She was right, we wouldn’t have worked together.” 
“But how can you know that?” Your voice breaks just as a harsh shiver goes through you, and you wrap your arms more tightly around yourself. 
“Alright, that’s enough.” You don’t have to turn around to hear that James has stopped walking behind you, his footsteps halting. Reluctantly, you slow in response but don’t turn around, waiting to see what he’s doing. “Come here.” When you don’t move, his voice hardens into a tone you don’t hear often. “Come here.” 
You turn around, more curious than anything, and James has taken his sweatshirt off. He tugs it over your head before you can say anything. 
“James!” you protest, squirming, but his hold is strong. He manages to wrestle one of your arms into a sleeve before he seems to decide that’s good enough and leaves you be. 
“Quit being so stubborn,” he says, still in that same tone. You stop trying to get the sweatshirt off, hands dropping to your sides. James has never been so stern with you before. You don’t quite know how to react. “You’re freezing, and your hair’s still wet. There’s no sense in suffering through it just because you want to have a row.” 
“I don’t want to,” you tell him, but your words sound petulant even to your own ears. 
“Then listen.” He takes your jaw in hand, setting his eyes on yours. “I do not want to be in a relationship with Lily. I thought I did once, but I don’t anymore.” He waits a second, making sure this sinks in, before his voice softens. “I’m going to be friends with girls. That’s just…that’s the way I’ve always been. But I’m with you because I’m happiest with you, and this isn’t going to work if you don’t trust me.” 
You nod, suddenly flooded with self loathing. A tear skids down your face when you blink. “I’m sorry. It’s not about…I do trust you, I promise. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.” 
“Honey,” James murmurs. The tear lands on his index finger, and his face pinches like it stings. “Listen, if I saw some guy with his hands all over you, I’d—”
“In a bathing suit,” you add tearfully. 
“With his hands all over you in a bathing suit,” he amends, “I’d probably be upset too. But you’ve got to tell me these things, you know? If you’d brought it up at the time, I could’ve told you I don’t feel that way about Lily and maybe you would’ve had a better afternoon.” 
“I didn’t want to be the jealous girlfriend,” you admit. “I really do like Lily, I didn’t mean to accuse either of you of anything.” 
“I think…I think some amount of jealousy has to be normal,” James says, brows bunched pensively even as his finger strokes at your cheek. “We’re each other’s, you know? It’s just letting it get in your head that’s the problem. If you’re thinking I’d pursue someone else while I’m with you, that doesn’t reflect very well on me.” 
You shake your head, leaning away from James’ hand to wipe your nose. “I don’t really. I know you’d be—you’d at least be nice about it. You’d tell me.” 
Pain etches itself into the indent between your boyfriend’s brows. He takes your face between both hands now, looking into your eyes determinedly. “I love you,” he says, bending to press a firm kiss between your brows. “Understand?” 
You wrap your arms around his middle, pushing past his face to tuck your head under his chin. “I love you too.” Your voice is ardent if a bit wobbly, tears that feel more like a reaction to a past fright than anything else still moving sluggishly down your face. “I’m sorry.” 
“It’s forgiven, sweetheart.” James’ big palm comes to rest between your shaking shoulder blades, scrubbing up and down firmly. “Let’s get home, yeah?”
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fereldenshero · 2 years
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i srsly need to start going on walks more rargh
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arieswritez · 11 months
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vincible
vincible | mark grayson x gn!reader (fluff)
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alright since you all asked so kindly here's the fluff from my last hc 🫶🏾 :
cw: slightly suggestive but nothing nsfw. that's all :D
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"why's it looking at me like that?"
the two of you are in bed and with his weight pinning you down, you find it hard to concentrate on what he means.
your head's all fuzzy with the way he's been drowning you in kisses. he kisses you like it might be his last chance to do so: sweet, languid until they melt into something more feral. the way his costume hugs his body doesn't exactly help your concentration, either.
your body's warm as it soaks up his body heat - he's like a fucking furnace - and it yearns. . no. . demands for his attention. you ignore him, making a soft, impatient sound that sounds more like a whine as you try to guide his lips back onto yours.
however, he keeps his head turned to your right, staring at a spot on your bed and says, "what're you lookin' at, huh?"
you pull back, confused, then follow his line of vision.
finally, you see what he sees: a stuffed animal perched against your pillow.
you watch as mark squints at the toy, then, tilts his head and scoffs in indignation as if it's just hurled an insult his way.
"what'd you say?" mark sits up and away from you, puffing out his chest.
the plushie stares at mark with big, black, empty eyes.
you stare up at mark, confused, as he carries on his one sided beef with your plushie.
"they cuddle you while im not here?"
mark crawls over to your plushie and grabs it by its soft neck, his fingers wrapping around the entirety. he pulls it close, putting his nose right up against the toy's. "you wanna say that again, tough guy? don't you know who i am?"
"mark, what're you doing -" you giggle, leaning back on your elbows to watch the ridiculous display before he shushes you.
"hey, you stay out of this. i'll deal with you later." he snaps before turning his attention back to the toy. "oh, you don't care? well, let's see if you care about this -"
mark suddenly shoves the toy into his face.
he flops down atop your bed, wildly flailing with one hand while the other mushes the plushie against his face. he's comically good at it, too, looking like he's being mauled by some feral cat.
he's only emboldened by your uncontrollable laughter: grunting with effort as he rolls over the stuffy and delivers a few blows. even making his own sound effects before he rolls onto his back, your toy gaining the upper hand once again.
this time, he sits the toy atop his face and flails like he's being suffocated. eventually, his body falls limp. the hand that isn't holding the toy upright falling limply at the side of your bed.
your plushie's fought dirty and won.
"i dunno, mark," you manage to say between hiccuping laughs, "you seem pretty vincible to me."
"very funny." comes his muffled voice from beneath the toy. he sits up, stuffy still in hand as he fixes you with an accusatory glare. "laugh. yeah, laugh, while your boyfriend's being mercilessly beaten."
he crawls closer and he thrusts the toy in your direction, waving it side to side by the back of the neck, holding it at arm's length like he's afraid it'll attack him. "i guess you want him now, don't you?"
you raise a brow. "don't misgender my plushies, grayson."
mark retracts the plushie and flips it upside down, looking at its bottom. "oh, right."
you let out a chortle of laughter and he's on you in seconds: pinning you down and smushing the plushie against your face, making kissy sounds while you breathlessly beg him to stop.
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dadvans · 4 months
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i feel the weight [7x09 coda, bucktommy]
Buck hadn't actually been planning on seeing Tommy tonight but the late night pit-stop at Eddie’s has him freaking out, so he shoots Tommy a text from the dark driver's seat of his jeep: kinda need to get out of my head. Could you come over?
The response is almost immediate: already in bed. If you’re safe to drive there’s a spot next to me waiting, followed by a selfie, Tommy shirtless sitting up in bed with his readers on.
Buck’s keys are turning in the ignition before his phone screen goes dark, and he’s pulling out of Eddie’s driveway to hurry over. Tommy gave him a key last week, and despite an odd track record staying over at exes’ places instead of them at his, he’s excited he finally gets to use it.
He lets himself in, kicking his shoes off and is still half tangled in his jacket when he nudges Tommy’s bedroom door open. The overhead light is still on and Tommy’s got what is clearly a World War Two biography thicker than a Tolstoy novel in his lap, fingers keeping his spot in place. He puts it on the nightstand and smiles so softly for a big guy, gives a little chin tilt greeting.
“Hey you,” he says. “Everything okay?”
“I don’t know,” Buck replies, taking broad strides over to his bedside and then climbing in Tommy's lap, straddling Tommy's hips, getting hands on his face to trace the rim of Tommy’s glasses with his thumb. “These are staying on, by the way.”
“Fine by me,” Tommy says and sighs, searching Buck’s face for a second. “Okay, sweetheart, let me take care of you.”
And then Buck loses himself for a little bit.
He comes back to himself sweaty, minus his pants, and come drunk, panting at Tommy’s side some time later. Tommy’s leaning on an elbow, looking at him. His glasses are crooked, and Buck reaches out to straighten them.
“Thanks.” Tommy snorts. “So, you wanna talk about it? Something happen during your shift today?”
“Not really. Sort of.” Evan sighs, and Tommy pets his hair, pushing the curls stuck to his forehead up. “Something going on with Eddie, and I feel like I shouldn’t even be talking about it, but I’m scared he’s going to hurt himself. I’m scared he’s going to do something that’ll hurt Chris in the long run too.”
“Sounds difficult.”
“Yeah, I mean, you guys are close too, so if you see him this week or sometime soon, just— could you check in with him? I don’t think I’m overreacting, but the situation seems crazy, and it just makes my head hurt." He sighs. "I'd honestly rather talk about anything else.”
“Okay, I can do that.” Tommy doesn’t sound placating. He never does when Buck talks about Eddie, which is a novel experience compared to Buck’s other relationships. And maybe that’s because Tommy is friends with Eddie, but also maybe it’s because Tommy’s just different like that.
Good for you, Bobby had said.
Buck smiles. “There is something good that happened earlier today, actually. I can tell you about that. Bobby told me he uh, approves. Of us.”
“Oh? Do all your relationships need Bobby’s stamp of approval?” Tommy asks wryly.
“No, no, it’s not like that. It’s just. Bobby’s seen me go through a lot of relationships, and I think he worries, you know? I have a tendency to not do the right thing sometimes, compromise too much, maybe, try too hard. And I think he’s seen how settled I’ve felt. At ease, you know?” Buck sighs. “It felt really good to hear.”
“That is good to hear.” Tommy’s hand combs through Buck’s hair down to cradle the back of his head, and he pulls them together for a soft kiss, just one. “I’m glad your dad approves of us, Evan.”
“Stop,” Buck says, but he’s smiling.
“Not in a million years,” Tommy replies, and he’s smiling too
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lowkeycasanova · 3 months
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In exchange
ace x afab!reader
Plot: doing ace's skincare mixed in with some c0ckwarming
(idk how i feel about this)
slight smut
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"Oh come on! Please!"
Following Ace into the bedroom, you give him a pouty look. He tries to ignore you but miserably fails.
"Why do you wanna do it so badly?" he sighed.
"I think it would be fun and a way for you to relax. Plus, you'll look extra handsome when I'm finished." You've been trying to get him to let you do some sort of skincare routine on him for the longest, especially since he really doesn't have one.
"And what do I get in exchange?" he cockily smirks at you, tilting his head to the side.
You shrug. "I don't know. What do you want?" He pauses as he thinks for a moment and then his grin widens and walks closer to you.
"I'll let you do it...if you let me put it in."
He lowers his voice on that last part, being cheeky.
Your lips slightly part upon hearing his proposal. Ace had become pretty fond of cockwarming recently and wanted to do it often. It doesn't always end up with sex. He just likes to be inside you, close and warm and you can never say no to that.
"Fine." you agreed.
He plops himself down on the edge of the bed. You join him after filling your hands with the essentials from the bathroom, setting it all down next to him. He grabs you by your waist, pulling you on top of him. When your crotch meets his, you can already feel how hard he is through his black shorts and he gives your ass a gentle smack.
"Got everything?" he asks.
"Yeah." you nod.
"Alright, you know what to do." he says, as if he was waiting for you to take the initiative. He smirks, so full of himself.
You reach down and move your underwear to the side as he tugs his hard cock from out of his pants and you take him by the base, guiding and slowly sinking down on him. His erection filling you up completely. You let out a satisfied moan and he bites his bottom lip, humming in content. He presses a kiss to your cheek before leaning back with his weight on his arms, allowing you to do whatever.
As you go through your products, his hands gently massage your bare thighs and ass, patiently waiting. Grabbing a headband, you put it over his forehead to keep his hair back. While putting the cleanser on, his eyes flutter shut and you take a second to notice how long his lashes are. So natural and honestly unfair. You try to focus on putting on the moisturizer under his eyes, but now you can't seem to ignore the urge to start grinding on him. The way he casually fills you up like this should be a crime.
When you lean closer to work on his eyebrows, you accidently buck your hips. A soft grunt escapes your lips at the friction you created.
"You okay?" he asks with an innocent smile but you know all too well he's being the biggest tease ever.
"Yeah," you breathe out, gripping his shoulders to steady yourself. "I'm good."
"Cool." he smiles before closing his eyes again.
You manage to finish the routine without losing your self-control.
"Okay, I'm finished." you say, and the next moment, his eyes appear once more as you take the headband off and his hair falls in his face. He looks breathtaking. His skin is shiny, glowy, and just absolutely stunning. The hottest man ever if you didn't know that already.
"My face feels clean. How do you like it?" He simply asks.
You wanna say something, but have no idea what. Instead, you lean down and give him a hard kiss. That'll let him know your answer.
Forget self control. Immediately, you start rolling your hips, doing what you've been wanting to do for the past twenty minutes. Ace doesn't seem to be against it. His fingers grab a hold of your lower waist, urging you to keep going as your kisses get more heated.
"Fuck." you breathe out, laying your eyes on Ace. His eyes were glossy already and his chest heaved in an attempt to catch his breath for a moment.
"That feel good babe?" he pants, leaning in to kiss the crook of your neck.
"Yes, you feel so fucking good." you moan out, feeling your orgasm build up.
To add, he slightly lifts you up and starts to thrust up.
"Cum for me. Cum on the cock your riding so well."
His words plus the sound of skin slapping was pushing you towards to edge even more.
You grab ahold of the back of his neck before you smash your lips on his again and your release washes over you. His name rolls of your tongue over and over along with breathy groans. He follows a few moments later, gripping your ass with satisfaction as he comes inside you.
After slowing down, you remain on his lap as his cock softens inside. Caressing his cheeks, you admire his newly hydrated face and can't help but smile at how he looks.
That cocky grin returns. "Maybe I should let you do my skincare more often if it ends like this."
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ervotica · 1 year
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strange fascination
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warnings: dark!ellie williams + dark!abby anderson x reader, noncon, DARK, smut (18+ only), threesome, ellie refers to her strap as a ‘cock’, drugging, tribbing, throat fucking, almost somno, r is fucked with a strap, cunnilingus, fem!reader, 1.5k words
kinktober masterlist
It’s slow at first; the way the world slowly starts to tip on its axis. Your vision swims, halted still only by Abby’s hulking presence in front of you on the ragged couch. You sniff and bat away the blunt in her hand, though your movements are disjointed, like your limbs are filled with molasses, heavy and sticky. One of her thick, calloused hands coasts the length of your arm, an action which would soothe you under normal circumstances. But you don’t feel right.
It’s an uneasiness settled in the pit of your stomach, a churning for which the cause is undetermined.
“Abby,” you mumble; your voice won’t stretch any further.
“Yeah, hon’?”
The door to your shabby one bedroom apartment creaks; your heart ticks, loud in your own ears.
You regain some awareness as Ellie latches the door shut and comes to crouch in front of you on the couch watching amusedly as you tilt your head, legs dangling from the edge of the worn fabric.
“Hi, gorgeous,” she smiles, all teeth and dimples. It’s unlike her to be so chipper.
You’re frowning. You don’t realise you’re even doing it before Ellie’s reaching a slender hand out and smoothing the creases in your forehead out.
“She’s quiet.”
You almost answer before you realise she’s not speaking to you.
The bigger girl’s hand settles on the back of your neck and squeezes. She taps your chin, settling the blunt between your lips once more.
“Have some more, baby.”
You cough and gag around the paper, trying to expel the smoke from your lungs even as the two girls encourage you to take more of it in. By the time she lets up, you’ve slumped, glassy eyed against Abby’s side.
You’d never noticed how she towers above you before now; you’ve never felt so small, so vulnerable in her presence, even more so with the other girl to your left. Ellie’s sidled in now she knows you’re still and compliant, the very point of her nose nudging at your jugular with a fervour you haven’t seen before. She nips at your earlobe and you squirm.
“No, stop,” you slur through your honey sticky mouth and slack jaw. “Don’t wanna.”
“Lift her for me, Abs,” Ellie murmurs; her voice suddenly has an edge that makes you uneasy. You moan in protest, too far away to form any words, let alone stop them. Abby’s fingers curl around the back of your neck, drawing you up and into her chest, her other hand against your bum as she lifts you into her lap.
“I know, honey,” she coos, breathless between rough kisses and nips to your exposed neck. “You wouldn’t let us take care of you sober. You should’ve made it easy for yourself. Silly girl.”
Your eyes grow hot and well, tears gathering at your waterline. How could your best friends do something like this to you? Cold hands grope at your ass, Ellie’s fingers fumbling with the button on your jeans and tugging the taut material down your legs.
“Oh, fuck,” she moans. “You’re so hot, baby.”
You grow hot and clammy with nausea. Your eyes feel like they’ve been superglued shut as you blink, peeling your eyelashes from each other.
“We’re losing her, Ellie,” Abby murmurs, undeterred in her mission to free your tits from your tank top. When they spill free, she twists a nipple meanly and grunts.
“‘S okay,” the slender girl laughs, “Don’t need her awake for this part.”
Your head falls limp, dead weight on Abby’s shoulder as she wrestles the tank top up and over you; she balls it up in her fist, discards it on the floor somewhere. Despite your weakness, you’re painfully aware of what they’re doing to you. You’re a prisoner in your own body.
You’re slumped against the muscular girl somewhat unceremoniously, eyes forced shut as Ellie finally pulls your panties aside to get a good look at your dripping cunt.
“Little whore is a liar!” She grins, triumphant. “She’s fuckin’ soaked. You like it.”
You can’t so much as lift your head to answer. Ellie draws your hips back and pushes between your shoulder blades to create a beautiful arch. You feel her thumbs against the crease of your cunt, spreading your petal soft lips to reveal your dripping hole.
“Attagirl, knew you wanted this,” Ellie murmurs.
Your mind goes blank as two of her fingers disappear, engulfed by your swollen lips. “So wet.”
You want to cry and scream and push them away but no movement will come from your body. Abby hooks her hands under your armpits and lays you flat on the couch.
“Don’t be greedy,” she snaps. “I wanna feel her pussy.”
She crouches, dragging your bare lower half until you’re hanging over the lip of the couch with your legs firmly settled over her shoulders. Her biceps bulge where they’re curled round your thighs.
She wastes no time in licking a broad, flat stripe up the entire expanse of your cunt, nosing at your clit and inhaling deeply.
“Fuck, she tastes good.”
Pleasure lights your every nerve ending on fire despite your protests to the situation. If you could kick her, you would.
She eats you out like she’s been starved of it her entire life, slaking her thirst on the almost constant drooling of your cunt. Despite your limited movement, you’re drawing to your peak with a weak cry, the coil drawing tight in your abdomen until Abby slips two fingers into your fluttering hole and you snap.
She grins like she’s the one going mad with pleasure and Ellie, who was previously pinching and twisting at your nipples until they darkened and swelled, dives forward to kiss you.
You lift a wrist in protest and can’t do much else in your current predicament; her tongue invades your limp mouth, your lips numb as hers glide over them. She pulls away gasping.
“Gonna put my cock in you, sweet girl.” She heaves a breath, unbuttoning her own jeans to reveal the silicone strap at her pelvis. You’re like a fish out of water, squirming and choking back a sob as you try to push her away. Abby hooks an arm under your back and you slump, eyes rolling as the effects of the drugs only increase.
The muscular girl sits and spreads her thighs on the couch to situate you with your back to her chest. Ellie looms, menacing over your helpless body as she drags the tip of her strap through your cunt, catching it on your still sensitive button.
When she pushes in you think you black out. Her forehead beads with sweat, nose inches from yours and breath hot as she immediately locates your sweet spot and pummels it with a force you’re not used to. It’s bruising on your cervix, painful in a way that only increases the pleasure they’re forcing onto you.
Abby reaches forward to tweak at your trembling clit, her other hand clasped firmly around your throat as your head lolls against her shoulder with every thrust.
Your body seizes as white hot pleasure shoots through you; you’re frozen with it, limp as an orgasm unlike any one you’ve ever felt before rips through you.
Your eyes flutter closed with a small cry as Ellie pulls out, spreading your lips as your hole gapes and shrinks at the absence of the strap.
Abby throws you to the side as though you’re useless as she strips herself of her bottom half of clothes; once she’s bare, she’s lifting your thighs to slot her own between them, her clit bumping against yours. It burns, the way she rubs against you so forcefully, still raw and swollen from the last two orgasms the girls have pulled from your slack body.
“Make her suck it,” she grunts, motioning for the slender girl to open your mouth. Ellie does just that, prying your lips open to feed her strap, slick and wet with your juices, down your throat.
Your throat bugles at the intrusion; you gag softly around it, and then with more force as you realise she’s not letting up.
“Fuckkk, look at her face!” Abby moans, pressing her clit to yours even harder as she creeps up on her peak.
Your eyes grow heavier as your vision blacks out at the edges; Ellie only pushes deeper into your throat, thumb pressed to the protrusion it makes.
Abby’s thighs tremble around your own and she soaks you, white knuckled where she’s clutching your knees.
You retch and gurgle around Ellie with one final fight to pull away before she takes pity on you. The spit that’s pooled at the corners of your mouth starts to leak down your face.
“That’s enough.” Abby’s tone is final.
The two girls retreat and pull on their clothes so fast you’d think they were being chased. Ellie crouches next to your ruined body and tips your chin up. You vaguely register a glob of spit hitting you in the face.
“Fuckin’ whore,” she spits. Abby’s eyes darken.
“Have some fuckin’ respect, Williams. Let’s go.”
They leave you there, passed out in a puddle of cum and drool, naked and exhausted.
They’ll be back before you know it.
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nabitsun · 5 months
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— SPINE BREAKER shy! choso x fem reader
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᭝ synopsis : who knew you just needed good dick from a shy boy to lose that attitude.
᭝ tags : smut & little angst? uni (both in their 20s), reader is kind of a minx but you'll pick that up.. (well, all reader's friends are), oral sex (f), pussyjob, unprotected (pull out game 10/10), uhh sweet choso duh <3
᭝ wc : 11.5 K
᭝ notes : t'was supposed to be a one-scene typa oneshot but got carried away - blame it on choso. (i remixed that shit 4 times)
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"shoko.."
"what is it?"
"no need to put these under my nose i've told you, i'm not coming." you slap her hand away gently, she's holding two entries for a random party in town.
"oh but you will." she smiles.
you know you will, you always do.
"c'mon i have two entries? i can't waste them."
"exactly, ask yuki to come with you."
"she also bought two entries, she's already coming with someone else."
you give her a quizzical look,
"i don't know any better, she didn't say."
"she's probably inviting aoi over again, God.. another reason to not come.." you shake your head at the sole thought of the man.
"who's that?" she says, switching up outfits in front of her as she ponders in front of the mirror.
"y'know that meathead eccentric guy who's like, super fan of her,"
"ohh, that one.." she hums in thoughts "mh, i doubt it though. the last time he was here, he didn't leave with that same smug face. if he keeps getting into trouble the way he does, I doubt she'll invite him back."
she's referring to the last time yuki invited aoi to one of these parties, not to sugarcoat anything but he definitely learnt the hard way to not be an arrogant show off.
"i hope not." you mumble
"stop trying to find excuses. you're coming with me, we're gonna have a good time, end of story."
you let out a crude laugh, "let me rephrase. you're gonna have a good time, and i am gonna get bored out of my mind." you can see her roll her eyes, "i don't even see the point of going there."
"because you don't try to have fun."
"if trying to have fun implies rubbing myself on some smelly drunk strangers with shitty ass songs in the background, then yeah i'd rather not try."
"you're no fun, it's not that bad."
"it's not that bad until you reach your fifth drink" you quick back as you cross your arms over your chest as if to withdraw from this endless battle that you know, will defeat you.
"aren't you being a little dramatic, now?" shoko barely looks at you with raised eyebrows. she knows as well as you do that beyond her tolerance limit she's no longer controllable, which is why you've spent many nights taking her home and trying - as best you could - to bring her back safe and sound. she won't admit it though.
you dismiss the (probably) rhetoric question, "since yuki's coming, why do you want me to go so bad?"
"what a silly question." she sighs as if she'd heard a child say the most gullible nonsense, "i like having you around, that is all."
"something is tellin' me you don't wanna end up third wheeling," you sing song.
"shut up.. you're coming anyway." she avoids your stare and lets out a heavy sigh, "you like the blue one?" she twirls the dress on its hanger around and turn over to face you, she tilts her head on the side as if to weight your future answer.
"i like the purple better."
"that's what i was thinking.."
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
being confided in the car with a loquacious shoko didn't help the growing headache you felt in the back of your skull. it had been a tough week.
your exams were approximately in a week and just thinking about it actively made your head hurt even more, and your throat tightened with culpability.
"hey, don't die on me now." shoko glares at you from the side as she's driving to the house. you feel her checking you multiple times.
"i'm fine," you sigh, rubbing your temples in an attempt to soothes the growing pain – that eventually worsened when shoko suddenly hit the brakes, a bit too abruptly to your liking, at a stop sign.
"girl, you either need a good night sleep or some good dick." she clicks her tongue, "look at you," she emphasizes by shaking her head as if the sole sight was too much for her.
"focus on not getting us crashed already."
"i'm serious though, you want some water?"
"no–no, i told you i'm okay." you look ahead of you, resting your head against the headrest for some support ; flashes of cars and traffic lights interacting in the night, "you drive like shit though."
"wow. okay, you'll show me how much of a good driver you are when you'll drive me back tonight, yeah?" she chuckles, taking a second turn on a new avenue.
"having you drunk in the back of the car is a constant fight of trying to not make you throw everything up, of course i have to drive nicely."
you see your friend nodding as she taps her fingers on the steering wheel, apparently at loss of words.
"mhm, thanks?"
you relax back with a content smile, "i prefer that,"
the house is not so far from your respective apartments, also not far from your university, which is around a fifteen minutes drive.
you can't really be mad at shoko for dragging you to those places ; the kind of places where she often ends up with a grain of lucidity to keep her half upright, while all the rest of her cognition makes her look like a psychotic out of an asylum. and even though you're practically always the one driving her back to her place, it doesn't exclude the fact that you need this sometimes.
despite your complaints of not wanting to go with her – for various reasons that you listed prior, but also because of your upcoming exams that are sucking the energy directly out of you – you still kind of look forward to the evening, if you're being honest. it gives you the opportunity to sit back and suspend the course of time for an evening, as ephemeral as it is.
the car stops at a red light as you think back to shoko's words, back in her room.
"yuki still didn't tell you about her special guest ?" you mindlessly ask as you fix your makeup by looking in the mirror of the sunshade, curling your eyelashes with the edge of your index to fix them.
"nope, i might have an idea though.." she pauses, you don't say anything as you wait for her to continue, "you know that guy she hangs out with sometimes? she's not like always with him but i don't think she'd invite anyone else, knowing her.."
"what guy?" you frown, you close the sunshade to look at her.
"uhh, black hair, pale skin, really quiet too. one of those snobs who behaves like termites by staying in their hole, you know. i don't even think i've ever talked to him, or seen him talk for that matter." she squints her eyes to reminisce old memories but the sudden shift of color on the traffic lights makes her focus back on the road.
"like what? a sorta depressed emo boy or something?" you scoff.
she laughs, out of mockery for your credulity it seems, "pretty close. but he's really.. the nerdy type y'know? the type to sit there and not say a word unless spoken to about some stupid nerdy shit, i guess."
"as long as he doesn't talk about fuckin' uni or something like that tonight, i'm good." you sigh at the thought as you close your eyes, clearly ignoring the silent warnings in her eyes.
"oh girl, you're such a fucking minx."
you ignore her offense when you continue your interview, "why would she invite him though? i mean why would he even come?"
"why did you?"
you keep silent.
"exactly," she states, "now keep your curiosity to yourself, you're about to find out."
after a few bends leading to the far end of town, you then remark the students crowding the lawn, stepping everywhere as some of them walk to the entry of the house.
no wonder you had to pay entries to get to some crackhead student party – you understood when you saw the size of the house and how many people there was. you silently hoped there was no one around as they would probably spend one hell of a night.
"not too far, i don't wanna have to carry you fifty meters tonight." you warn as shoko tries to find a good parking spot.
she sends you a hard glare and mumbles something inaudible that almost sounds like an insult. she seems to comply anyways as she parks not to far from the entry.
you were met with fresh air as you stepped outside the car, the extremities of your skin growing cold as well as your bare legs barely warming up with the strides you were taking. it was only eight in the afternoon and yet, you already saw wobbly people trying to walk their way out of the house. the two of you approach the path leading to the house, hearing the music as it gradually intensifies.
"there," shoko throws the car keys to you as you catch them hardly in your hands, "in case i lose them during the evening, you're in charge." you don't say anything, you'll have to drive back home anyways.
the calm atmosphere of an april evening was replaced without much transition as you walked past the open doors. the lights of the traffic lights now seemed far less stimulating in comparison to the sight in front of you. and paradoxically, your headache had disappeared, making you guess it was indeed, shoko's driving.
shoko turned around and took your hand to lead you through the numerous ponds of people hovering the place, talking, singing, dancing or even making out grossly. your steps grew heavier – whether from the combined heat of everyone weighing down on you or the vibrations of the boosted bass – it felt as if you were clearly reaching the pit of hell, both physically and symbolically.
and you could feel that with every steps forward, requiring the unsolicited touch of people brushing past you. the odors coming on play for less than a few seconds to merge with your own scent, just to disappear as soon as it entered past your nostrils. the lights changing from blue to purple to pink or even red, reflecting on the few skin shoko was showing with her slip dress as she was leading the way.
to say you were getting overstimulated was understandable. it was like getting thrown into a pit with only hungry lions to face; and with that dramatic metaphor you noted that the first lion you'd have to fight tonight, was the woman in front of you.
once you both reached what seemed to be the main saloon – though it was hard to decipher with the ton of people and the lack of furniture, beside some occupied couches. you didn't even know who was hosting the party to be fair, it seemed to change every other week like some sort of competition of who's gonna have the privilege to clean the big mess next morning – although you'd guess they probably have someone to do just that.
you were so focused on the environment you didn't even see the golden shadow passing by when a pair of fingers snapped you out of your illusion.
"you look like it's your first time at the zoo."
by the tone and voice you wouldn't even need to turn around. yuki looks at you with crossed arms in a sleeveless black turtleneck and flare jeans with a hint of a smile – out of friendliness or amusement, you didn't know.
"definitely feels like it," you smile back as you reach out to embrace her, which she welcomes.
"i see, shoko brought you here just to be her cab home then hm?" she tilts her head ignoring the way shoko snapped her head in her direction.
"hey don't say that! i wanted her company t–"
she gets interrupted by a loud noise, not seemingly coming from the music but by someone who just seemed to crash down on a wooden coffee table – one of the furniture you had such a hard time to see apparently because some people decided to stand on it. both girls in front of you roll their eyes almost in sync.
"well, looks like the alcohol's kicking in. you're coming with me?" yuki addresses to shoko and you.
"yeah i need to get something, i don't like how aware i am right now." shoko shakes her head in disapproval of the events.
the three of you approach the kitchen, where all the drinks stand upright and ready to use like weapons of war laid out on a table.
you don't venture into drink design, preferring to leave it to shoko or yuki, who apparently know best what they're doing since they're arguing over whether pineapple or cranberry would be more suitable to mix with vodka. once the ingredients are mixed, you all take a sip to mark the start of your evening.
"ew what the–" your body shudder lightly from disgust as you lower your hand over the counter, "tastes like piss seriously.." you whine and look at the wrongdoer.
"told you pineapple was a bad choice." yuki restates, but she's ignored by shoko, who takes the cup from your hand and pours the contents into her own cup.
"fuckin' alcoholic.." you breathe out in amusement.
"i paid for these, might as well make it worth my while." shoko rejoins and it makes you think..
"hey yuki, talking about entries, where's your guest?"
she takes another sip before answering through the music as she leans over, "he told me he wanted to use the bathroom, he went upstairs i think but.." she looks around, ".. i don't see him around, maybe he's stuck in there or something." she shrugs as if it were the most banal piece of information.
you naturally frown at the answer and at her lack of interest as to where her friend might be, so does shoko as she flicks yuki's forehead – earning an annoyed grunt from her victim.
"you can talk about me, you don't even care about your friend."
"he's a dude girl, if he's staying up there there's a reason. i'm sure he's fine," she shrugs once again with round eyes devoid of any remorse.
as they continue to argue mindlessly you sneak your hand on the counter, gliding it across the surface to grab discreetly yuki's cup, probably much tastier with cranberry, and retrieve it back to walk away and leave them to their incessant vindictive promises.
you're sure when you come back they'll still be on their feet – at least you'd like to put this much faith in them – as you rush through agglutinated people to get past the stairs. you don't really know why you're going, maybe you could say he picked your interest ; the thought of a guy like him in the middle of the evening just reminds you of a lamb around a horde of wolves.
you take a couple more sips from your cup and climb the stairs, squeezing past a heated couple making out in the middle of it. you follow down the corridor to find a multitude of doors, and one at the end of it that would be the perfect prototype of the bathroom at the end of a corridor. once you reach it you lean in to rest your ear against the door, trying to gauge potential noises, but nothing.
you smooth your denim skirt down and readjust your purse on your shoulder. you knock once, then twice – over the music you're practically not able to hear your own knocking – until your press your fingers down on the locker slowly, peeking through the door but you're only welcomed with pitch black.
maybe he just got lost among people, or maybe he was one of the ones you saw vomiting their guts out outside – which is less probable, but not impossible. you don't really feel like acting like a detective and exploring every nook and cranny, for fear of also finding yourself in front of people fucking in one of the rooms, so you prefer to turn back on your heels, giving up on the mission you thought would spark up your evening a little bit.
but it doesn't really go as planned actually. as you walk back towards the stairs, you notice a door open ajar, as if to let in a trickle of air, so you don't pay it much attention, but it's only when you start to look away that you see the previously motionless shadow, move.
it's quite honest to think that it's the first effects of the alcohol that are starting to take effect, a blurry vision in addition to poor lighting – results are not promising. you pause in your steps once more, tightening your fingers around your cup as you tilt your head so that you can look through the doorway without acting too much like a voyeur.
that's when you see him. rather tall figure standing up with the major help of big boots, black trousers with a black shirt – or maybe the colors are tainted by the darkness of the room, barely lit up by an amber light. and you do notice the signature buns with a few strands falling on his forehead.
his movements are so ever delicate you're having a hard time to decipher if the stability of your vision is playing tricks on you, or if it's really the slowness of his movements. one of his hands reaches over the shelf, he grabs a book and opens it. so careless.
"didn't know you were also a creep." you open the door without warning, with your cup in a hand and it makes you think that you probably look like some drunken mess barging in a room.
he drops the book on the ground.
"fuck!" his panicked eyes dart to you, pretty purplish eyes, "i'm sorry— shit. i didn't mean to pry." he picks up the book from the ground, bending his knees to grab it softly.
"if anything, i was the one prying." you comment, entering the room. and.. oh? what a sight you're welcomed with. it's a crime to not have seen this man on campus before – or maybe that's his crime to decide to stay inside his room with such a pretty face. his eyebrows are still brought near the center of his forehead, a faint look of worry that doesn't seem to disperse as the seconds pass.
it's also shoko's crime not to have mentioned the few silver jewels adorning his lips and eyebrows, or the charcoal mark layered upon his nose and spread horizontally along the length, covering both cheeks. and maybe there's another crime to add to your list when his tired eyes look away from you, trying to find some sort of distraction, anywhere but on you.
"i wasn't doing anything, i swear." his voice is coated with the sweetest tones though it's deeper than you'd expected – such a contrast with his face.
"careful, there's no better way to appear guilty than with this sentence." and you swear you can see a light frown on his face. you take a couple more steps towards him, he stands still, the book still in his hand as it's closed and tightly wrapped around his fingers.
you reach for the book lazily, and you take good care to not try any brusque movements. it's like you're walking on thin ice and you just start to realize how quieter it got in the room, with the buzzing of music barely heard and a few people chanting way too far.
he doesn't even try to fight it, the book slips past his fingers easily as you grab it, "The Picture Of Dorian Gray". classic. he looks down at you silently, a bit too long as if he's realized something.
"are you planning to come down?"
he shoves his hands in his pockets, shifting part of his weight on one foot in a slightly awkward manner, "i don't really feel like it."
"why is that?" you put the book right in the empty space, where you guess it previously was, squished between the other books.
"i don't really enjoy.. this." he nods to the door.
"what do you enjoy then?"
he runs his tongue over his piercing, wetting his lips and smothering the silver ring with it in the process as he ponders, then locks eyes with you finally.
"not parties at least."
"mhm, i would've guessed."
the room was strangely not that big compared to the house, a very sober room that must have been for guests, at least no personal decorations were visible. you approached the window to watch the racket outside and you found yourself glad to be upstairs at the sight.
"yuki was getting worried though." you know it's not true, but you're trying your best, you really are.
he turns around to face you, still not moving an inch from his initial position though, "oh so you're one of yuki's friend? the one she said would come?"
"it depends on whether she talked about a little pain in the ass or a cheeky cynic."
"she used the term.. « bothersome minx », if i recall."
you chuckle softly and put your cup down on the windowsill, gliding it on the side as you turn to look at him. he eyes you up and down, tapping his fingers along his thighs and you're not sure if you are in good shape due to the previous consumption or if he's just being the analytical man he's known to be.
"what's your name?"
"choso."
"choso.." you introduce yourself as well, he repeats your name just the same, "wanna sneak out?"
"what do you mean? like right now?"
"yeah, why not? i mean you can stay in that room as long as you want but i doubt you'll have much fun." he turns his head to glance at the door lazily, gauging the proposal.
"what are we gonna do?"
"i don't know, we'll see." you shrug with a smile and you're not sure if playing the russian roulette with him is gonna get you anywhere but you're too interested to play it safe.
"hm, i want to be back for yuki though, she's gonna need a ride home."
"you will." you say simply, but choso raises his eyebrows, waiting for more based arguments rather than a simple affirmation. so you continue,
"we can just take the car, drive for a couple of minutes and you'll be back here before you even notice."
there's a few seconds of silence where you both look at each other, expecting an answer. he sighs, lowering his head and you think he's about to decline your invitation but..
"alright, but just for some time."
you can't help but grin widely, you eagerly dig in your purse for the car keys shoko gave you and take quick steps towards the exit. as you wait for him on the doorstep you see him take a few strides, but towards the windowsill where you previously were standing. he grabs the drink you left dismissively, his jacket on the bed, and throws your empty cup in the bin just in the corner of the room as he walks back towards you.
he smiles gently at you and closes the door behind the two of you.
you practically had to fight your way through the crowd waiting for you downstairs. you thought the hardest part would be getting through to the front door, but once outside you found yourself in a quandary as you had to tiptoe to avoid stepping on any garbage, sticky liquids or dead drunks on the lawn.
choso asked you if you were able to take the wheel, you told him yes, of course – you'd only had one drink that had barely shaken you. he insisted on driving anyway.
the place where you had him taken was one of the only ones not too far away that was still open at this hour; and especially one that didn't look like a crowded bar.
a small café-restaurant run by a woman who was far too old to still be on her feet serving until late at night – but she always did it with too much care that you always resigned yourself to going there, even if the prices were higher.
the car ride had been remotely silent, with only a few instructions as to the routes to take and choso asking you if you wanted to put the heat on.
you took your seats on the colorful banquettes, waiting for the woman to come and take your order. the contrast was quite ironic, seeing you and choso dressed for some fancy evening in a place that was very reminiscent of that kind of little retro restaurant in the 50s, with the famous jukebox playing ballads from Elvis Presley, and the endless greasy hot dogs displayed on the counter.
"didn't think you'd follow a stranger blindly,"
he rests his forearms on the table and bring his eyes back on you as they were occupied scanning the place, "you're no real stranger, you're yuki's friend after all."
"oh i'm sure you were the kinda kid to enter some random white van." you say, more to yourself though as you look at the menu briefly. he doesn't say anything in return, and you don't look up either to see if he's looking at you or not.
"tell me choso," his name is like the ring of a bell, his eyes widen just a little, "how come i've never seen you around? you're on campus right?"
"mhm, i guess," he opens his mouth as if to start a sentence but he soon renounces by closing it immediately, he reaches for his nape to massage it, "i guess i don't really hang out around campus."
"majoring in?"
"computer science."
you would have bet your entire fucking fortune on it. you let a smile slip through.
"um, you're friends with gojo satoru too, right?"
the question definitely surprises you, everyone knows who's satoru, and that's not to his advantage as he's more or so known for being one hell of a jerk. you nod and he takes a deep breath, one that speaks volumes.
"i know what he says about me, you know. i just don't want you to think i'm like that." he admits and the sight almost makes you frown, you don't know if it's pity or empathy but you shake the feeling away.
"what do you think he says about you?"
he pauses for a few seconds, he's quick to bring his hands around his ear piercing, fidgeting with them as he relaxes back against the banquette, he finally crosses his arms over his chest.
"they say things that aren't necessarily wrong but aren't totally true either."
when he says they, he's probably referring to shoko, or maybe suguru if you think about it, though he doesn't seem to care about people's business that much.
you'll blame choso's inability to communicate properly for his ambiguous answers and not because he's trying to pull a series of enigma right now.
"mhm, and don't you think i have a mind of my own?"
his eyes almost pop out of their sockets and he once again leans against the table, clearly not settled on how to sit still, "no–no i didn't mean to say that ! i'm sure you do," he says softly, yet still very much alarmed.
you almost regret your choice of words but he's so goddamn sweet it would be a shame not to tease him a little.
"i don't know i just, don't want you to think badly of me." his fingers fidgets with the salt and pepper shaker in front him.
you know you're in no position to talk, you even feel embarrassed if you're being honest, as you were not just about an hour ago making fun of him in the car with shoko – that, he doesn't know.
the old woman comes back to take both your orders and it's as if the bubble you were both in had just burst, bringing you back to the café as the music gradually came back to your senses. choso orders a strawberry milkshake and you take a blueberry.
the way he talks is so sweet, it makes you physically wince, and let's not talk about the way he looks at the old woman like she was cotton candy to the eye. you think it's all an act he's about to drop when she leaves but, even when she returns behind the counter he returns his eyes on you with the same look ; heavy lids – that you don't know if they are the consequence of a long day or if they're always like that – with shades or purple circling them.
"you'll know that the only time I take satoru's opinion into account is when I have to make a choice for lunch. you're okay." you assure.
he nods slowly and you see his face soften at your reassuring words.
"i don't know why you hang out with them." he says and it's so faint you're not even sure if he mumbled to himself or if he actually talked to you.
you tilt your head on the side with a frown, "what do you mean?"
he takes some time to answer, to gather his words or because he's hesitant you don't really know.
"you were always so nice to me," but you're still puzzled so he continues, "back in high school, you weren't hanging out with this kind of people, y'know."
you don't even pay attention to the way he's not so subtly trying to bring your friends down, you readjust yourself in your seat, visibly confused.
"i don't.. i mean, we were in the same class?"
choso shrugs, not really phased to see you don't remember him at all, "you had a lot of friends. plus, i didn't have these two." he points his finger up to show his hair attached in two buns atop of his head as if it could be the sole reason of your memory lapse. silly.
"i like this look on you. you look nice with them." you say as you look at the hairstyle thoroughly. the praise seemed to have gotten to him because you can see a small smile on his lips as he looks around impatiently for the drinks to arrive – or maybe he just needed to lay his eyes somewhere else than on you.
the drinks arrive shortly after, not surprising due to the lack of customers as it's practically just the two of you there. you don't really say anything much, comfortable in the silence you're both in as you grab your order to taste them. you don't really want to continue the conversation about your friends right now, and choso seems to have dropped the idea of it too.
choso watches you as you lean in to wrap the straw around your lips, elbows on the table to support your body on top. he also watches the way the milkshake climbs up the straw to pour into your mouth, away from prying eyes.
"you want some?"
his blurred eyes meet yours.
"huh?"
you smirk, only because you're enjoying the look on his face and you want it to worsen. you straighten up properly, away from that damn straw and focus on choso, who grows a little embarrassed, somehow – you see it, he backs down a little just at the sight.
"i know what you want," you say, almost above a whisper, stirring the straw with painful slowness.
"you just gotta ask."
choso doesn't say anything. he doesn't really know what to say actually as he flicks his eyes between your eyes and your lips. he's panicked, that's one thing anyone could notice if only they had their attention on him.
"you want a taste, right?" you say with such a languid voice he has to look around to see if you're putting on a show for anyone around, in vain of any spectators. choso raises his eyebrows, devoid of any answers.
"my drink, you idiot."
such a fool, his pouding heart slows back down quietly into his chest and it shows by the prior rapid breaths that are replaced by long and painful sighs. and what a disguised curse to be around you. he doesn't even seem to notice the degrading name he got assigned, you're not even sure he's got to hear the short sentence correctly.
"um.. yeah, sure."
you glide the drink forward on the table until it reaches his fingers which firmly wrap around the glass – and if you were from the police you'd suspect it's to hide his shaking fingers. he puts his own lips where yours once were and begins to sip through the straw. he doesn't have to look up to see you watching intently, he can feel it.
"there you go, how is it?"
"s'good." he nods.
the aroma melts on his tongue, almost sugarcoating the strawberry he previously ingested and the sour taste of a little humiliation.
"i wonder what's going on in that little head of yours. you're so analytical with everything."
"you make me feel like I have to be."
a head tilt from you is all he needs to know he has to develop his thoughts.
"be aware of my surroundings."
your answer gets stuck in the back of your throat when you hear the buzzing of your phone in your purse, you dig it out : a call from shoko.
you excuse yourself and choso simply nods, you bring the phone to your ears and you soon regret the movement as dissonant noises come to deafen your drums – urging you to pull your phone away from your ear.
"h-hey!! where.." the sentence is cut by another voice, and maybe some screams, you don't really know. you squint your eyes as you try to decode the semblance of sentences thrown at you, you call shoko but she doesn't seem to be on the line although the call indicates two minutes past.
choso continues to sip on his milkshake and he looks just as confused as you are.
"where r'you–" you don't need to ask her if she's drunk or not, you can hear it through the slurring of her words. you don't answer her question though, you know it will cause more damage than anything to say you'd preferred to leave the party to go sip on some milkshake with a man you're supposed to despise more than anything.
after five minutes of negotiation, you finally find out what shoko wanted - simple curiosity as to where you were, but also a call for help with the disappearance of choso, who was supposedly trapped in the toilet, according to yuki. you promptly hang up and finish your milkshake in a one go.
"she's in trouble?" choso gauges your reaction and imitates you, putting away his own things as he puts his jacket on.
"she's about to be if we don't come pick her up now." you place you purse back on your shoulder as you draw enough of cash to cover the bill and tip, "c'mon, let's go."
choso wasn't so wrong in the end, since you both arrived in time to prevent a tragedy from happening, one more on the list that shoko may not remember - despite the scale of it. you and choso agreed to take back your possessions – in this case yuki and shoko, who seemed to be standing on their own two feet only by some celestial force.
no need to to depict the end of the night, it was always the same when you went out with shoko. though something – or rather someone – during evening had told you it wasn't going to be the same ; that your tranquility was long gone, that you had now committed, whether you'd like it or not apparently, to be a fucking babysitter.
and he was fast with it, he didn't wait a week or so, he didn't even try to make it natural. the day after the party, choso went straight to talk to you, and the boy didn't even care if you were with your group of friends, the same that vehemently talked shit behind his back.
he didn't even try to wipe that smile off of his face, nor to calm the rosy tint on his cheeks that left little room for other interpretations. he didn't even try to cover for you when he gave you change for the milkshake you'd paid for – and God he didn't seem to understand that if you'd paid him it didn't mean you particularly wanted to give him the impression he owed you anything in return.
he also didn't notice that you didn't appreciate his refund, that you would have preferred to send him off, but that under the pressure from satoru and shoko, who were only viciously agreeable to him, you had to accept his exchange with a big smile.
you really didn't know whether his behavior was of the order of undisputed innocence or whether it was a means of publicly humiliating you.
in any case, the incident didn't go away, not with satoru and shoko around the corner, who were both just explaining the situation to suguru in the middle of lunch in the refectory.
"she left yuki and i alone with a bunch of freaks," shoko declares through the clattering sounds of the cantine while pointing her fork on you as she explains the evening, once again.
"you didn't seem to mind when i pulled you away from one that you were trying to dissect open with a knife." you insist, once again.
you stir the fuming food and distribute it homogeneously over your plate to let it cool down, ignoring shoko's words as she continues the story.
"it's kinda funny that you spent the evening with a guy who's a carbon copy of the type you say you hate." suguru intervenes and you sigh at the snarky remark. satoru keeps chewing on his food carelessly, clearly enjoying the roast you're subject to.
you shake your head at the statement, "spending an evening with someone and actually enjoying the time spent is different."
"mhm, clearly if i hadn't called you you'd still be making out with him right now.." shoko mocks and you swear you can see satoru's lips twitch in amusement.
"we just talked !" you half whisper, half scream, letting your food drop into your plate, causing your friends to shush you.
"c'mon just say you like him, we'll still be friends y'know?" you look deadpan at satoru, a look that doesn't require any words.
"i mean everyone knew he had a crush on you in high school, it wouldn't be surprising if it was still the case." suguru shrugs, you don't know if if he's being honest this time or if it's another joke. you choose to believe the latter.
you shake your head and look around the cantine to ease your mind from your shit friends, which doesn't seem to be the thing to do as satoru adds another weight to your already heavy shoulders.
"what? looking for your new pet? homeboy is probably hiddin' in his room right now. i mean, when doesn't he?"
you breathe out tensely, butchering your food with your cutlery as you clearly picture some detailed ways you'd like to treat the man in front of you.
"fucking assholes.."
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
after what happened during the last couple of days you really tried taking measures. good measures. and it was kind of ironic how choso should've been the type to try and dodge any interaction with your friends, but now you were the one trying to sneak past him.
he was nice. you'll give him that.
but he was stupid. so fucking careless. and really naive because he surely did think an evening sipping on milkshake meant something along the lines of "will you marry me?"
anytime he spotted you in between classes he just had to walk in your direction. whether it was just small talk or not, he talked to you every. single. time.
but he was so nice. you couldn't just shove it in his face? could you? despite shoko's encouragement to drop him there's something that just.. didn't feel right. and may God forgive you, but you know this is certainly not the advent of your good morals.
though all of that clingy attitude really pissed you off, you did find yourself thinking about that evening and how Elvis Presley was so annoyingly being repeated in the background. how his eyes, despite their darkness and exhausted features, never ceased to display the most authentically pure emotions you've ever seen.
"i don't know i just, don't want you to think badly of me."
you sigh, heavily. some conflicted parts of you wanted to know more, an evening wasn't enough to just send him off right away, right? who was he? who does he claim to be? and the fact that you don't remember him, no, you can't remember him doesn't help either to your curiosity. because you did search through your yearbooks and to see his face didn't help you bring back lost memories.
shit maybe you just need someone to ring some senses to you but you also don't want shoko nor satoru to do it, as much as you hate to think about it they'll taint your vision more than they'll clear it out. in some ways choso was right ; their judgment might have their part to play in the way you think. in some ways only.
or maybe you're trying to blame your friends for your shitty behavior which only makes you feel ten times worse. you let out a grunt as you get up from your chair, going to the library to study with a clouded mind wasn't a good idea and even more at the end of the day.
failing to have a cigarette you can borrow from shoko right now, you choose to take a walk around campus. it's not the best sight but the air is far more fresh outside.
oh and how ironic was it when your feet led you upstairs to the dorms. it's not like you even planned your itinerary, it was like second nature to you, plus the air definitively felt a lot more breathable.
out of all the rumors you've heard, you knew at least one was true : choso was an orphan ; he stayed in the dorms right above the college structure.
and how absurd that was when you feet planted right outside his doorway – you can say thank you to the floor tenant files that didn't seem to care about the resident's personal information.
the thing missing though is your speech. you didn't have anything in mind. fuck what are you thinking? you're not even sure you'd want to see him at all, despite your evident location. before you could produce another stupid thought your fist met the door to knock twice.
it was about six seconds of wait that felt like half a minute as you just stood there outside. the door opened slightly ajar, and it reminded you of the first time – well not counting high school – that you saw him.
long strands of black hair dangled in front of the doorway before he stepped closer to fill the gap with his width. of course his eyes widened. they always do when they meet yours.
"oh, hey," he quickly looked over his shoulder, behind him and lowered his eyes to take a look at himself.
it was an agreeable sight, you will not deny. his hair were hanging loose at shoulder length, wearing only an oversized white t-shirt (was it oversized or just his actual stature ?) and gray sweatpants. you almost felt like diverting your eyes away as if you were prying on something you shouldn't see.
"hey."
silence.
"are you okay?" he stays still, swiping his tongue inside his lower lip while playing with his ring piercing you presume ; a habit of his you've noticed. you don’t really know if he's asking to be polite or if you genuinely look like you need help.
"mhm," you nod, "can i come in?"
"uhh, yeah" he takes another look behind him and you're starting to think maybe you came at the wrong time. "yeah, of course." he opens the door wider and steps aside, you enter and to your relief nothing crazy's going on.
the room is neatly organized to your surprise, not that you were imagining a slum, but you were expecting something more akin to the prototype of the homebody student. you avoid looking too much everywhere, you didn't come for that anyway.
choso retreats to his desk where he leans against it, his hands on the length of the edge to support his body.
"looks serious eh?" he escapes a small laugh, almost a scoff actually as he scratches his forearm and you suddenly want to leave the room because of how miserable you feel.
"we have to stop this.. thing here." you point to him then yourself.
you almost feel bad for him. almost, because of the way his hand previously on his other arm stops in the previous scratching motion, because of the way he only stares at you for a few solid seconds.
"what do you mean?"
"you know what i mean," you sigh "i don't even know why you suddenly want to talk to me anyway," you shake your head and look down. it's not even something you're blaming him for, you're really wondering why he'd want to talk to someone who plays on both sides with him.
"it's not.. that sudden. i've always wanted to talk to you." he tells you softly, "have i done something wrong?"
he's too nice with you it makes you audibly grunt.
"do you have a crush on me or something?"
silence again. a longer one this time. you didn't really mean to blurt it out like that, you'd envisioned something a little more subtle but frustration got the best of you.
his body shifts, his hands move closer to his body and he crosses his arms over his chest, tapping his biceps with his finger repeatedly. he stays silent.
"it's a yes or no question choso."
he pinches the bridge of his nose just where his mark is and breathes out a small "fuck".
"alright. it's ok if you don't wanna use your words, you certainly don't fail showing it to the whole fucking world anyway."
he takes a step forward rapidly, a single step but big enough to be closer to you nonetheless.
"i'm sorry, shit, i didn't know it would make you so upset. i'm sorry." he apologies. and you don't know if he realizes how upset he looks in the situation, he runs a hand through his hair in distress and you can see how agitated he is.
his face is right above yours, you don't really have to do anything but to look up to meet his panicked eyes. and it's a complete contrast how your eyebrows almost hurt from the frown while his face is contorted in worry.
and you'll blame your beating heart on your irritation and building up anger and definitely not because of his sole proximity. you try to commit to that thought at least.
"you're insufferable you know that?" you hug yourself as you readjust the strap of your purse on your shoulder.
he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek and looks away for a flitting second before bringing his eyes back on you, or your lips ; he's very indecisive poor boy doesn't know where to look when he has you this close to him.
"i.. i didn't know know how to tell you i'm sorry i just–"
"oh shut up,"
you practically throw yourself on him as it's the only way he'll eventually stop apologizing, one of your hands quickly wrap around his neck, to the base of his nape pulling him closer as your lips crash onto his. choso stumbles back at the contact and his hands reach instinctively on your waist for support, his body hits the desk where he stood prior and he escapes the faintest gasp at the harsh contact.
you wouldn't even have dreamed of doing this – fuck if shoko would come to know about this she'd probably laugh at you. but he's so gentle in his every moves, his every words, so naive about your motives it would be a damn shame if he knew what kind of crap person you really are. if the two of you really had to stop talking like you stated, your only wish would be to at least do this before.
choso's fingers grip more tightly on your waist, his thumb brushing against the fabric of your shirt practically playing with the hem of it. he pulls you closer and parts his lips to kiss you back avidly while your nails dig deeper around his nape at the feeling, before sliding them back along his jaw to orient his head at a better angle. you feel him exhale through his nose as you slow down your pace, slowly detaching your lips from his.
"y'taste good." he whispers against your lips, his forehead is practically touching yours and it's only now that you realize how much his features have changed within seconds. his eyes are blazed, breathless and fingers shaky around your waist. you'll blame the taste of your lips of the cherry gloss you're wearing – and he's wearing too now that his lips are shiny from it.
you're no better though, you swallow as you catch your breath, your heart is pounding in your chest so much you also hear it through the buzzing of your ears, coating the sounds around you.
"yeah? what is it, never kissed before?" you smile, you'll never get tired of teasing him, not when he always gives you the same look.
"not like that," he pants and smile back at you, a little smile that soon turns into a frown, "i.. shit, i wanna make you feel good. can i?" his voice is so low it makes your head spin.
"then do it," you kiss him once slowly and you feel him shudder at the new sensation, "make me feel good." you kiss him twice, even slower this time.
no need to say it twice for choso, if it's not you latching on him right now he definitely doesn't feel like backing down, he takes your answer for words and his hands find your cheeks instantly, cupping them as he puts a lot more pressure, making you step back. your hands lower down on his shoulders and your purse slip down your arm until it reaches the ground harshly ; not your priority number one right now.
he presses his body even closer to you and you don't need an explanatory drawing of what's happening down his pants as you feel his hard on pressed against you. you put your thigh forward, adding your own pressure against him and the moan that escapes his lips is enough to make your skin shiver and your panties tighter. much tighter.
still glued to each other, he guides you to his bed, just behind and it takes a couple steps back for your calves to hit the furniture, your body drops down the bed as you look up at him and you think he's about to slouch his own body on you, but he kneels down right before you instead.
you put your hands on the bed behind you to push yourself farther against the wall but to your – second – surprise he puts his hands flat on your knees.
"i need you right here," he soothes as he taps your knee lightly, making you stop in your movements. you don't know if he's about to do what you think he's about to do but your questions get quickly answered.
"can i?" he asks as he flicks his eyes onto your skirt, asking permission to touch it you guess. you nod eagerly and he leans back slightly to take your mary janes off instead, right foot, then to the left foot so ever carefully and putting them aside on the floor. you watch him and notice how steady and focused he looks despite his torso heaving up and down rapidly, you see it.
he straighten up on his knees and the sight has you gulping down, you're on his bed, he's on the ground just right in front of you, his eyes scan your face thoroughly you almost feel overwhelmed by it. your skirt gets pulled down easily, oh but so slowly, you prop yourself up on your elbows to make it easier for him.
"so pretty." he breathes out, he discards the piece of clothing on the floor and places both of his hands on your hips to bring your body closer to him as he easily glides you.
he leans in and his face is only inches away from your crotch, he glances at you before returning back on your clothed cunt. his thumb circles the hem of your panties as if he's admiring the sewing method and your breath hitches when his thumb drops a little lower, down where you clit hides beneath the fabrics.
"don't have all day, choso" you gulped, your hands bawl into tight fists in apprehension.
"okay–okay." he coos and immediately grant your wish ; he pulls your panties down and you're now bottom naked on his bed. it gives you a real reason to be embarrassed for sure because you didn't really "plan" on being that drenched from a single quick make out session. and the more he stares at your exposed cunt the more you grow impatient.
"choso.." you try to warn him but it comes out as a whine instead. he shifts as he gets closer to the edge of the bed, he wraps his hands under your legs to grab onto your thighs firmly.
"gonna make you feel good ok?"
"jus' do it–" you choke on your own words when you feel his tongue on you. a single lap and you're already panting in the room like a mad woman, "ffuck." you whine and your hand reaches immediately down to get a hold of something – his hair in this case which is being in his vision doesn't stop him nonetheless to complete his mission – as it's the only way you'd call it due to how devoted he looks between your legs.
he gives you a few more laps, down from your entrance to the very top on your clit, and he's diverse in his moves you'll give him that – he goes either way from the right side, then the left side, until he decides to flick his tongue against your pussy from side to side this time. you'd honestly thought the man would go down on you as his first time, his first experiment but it looks like you're the one experimenting for the first time his tongue skills – that, you don't miss to point out.
"shit- where the fuck did you learn to do that?" you pant, you push his hair back the best you can though it still falls atop of your pussy, giving you extra tingles on the way.
the sounds are purely gross, the room is nothing but a space for filth, hearing liquids collides whether it'd be his saliva on you or your slick on him. doesn't help from your restrained moans nor from his own whimpers that resonate lowly against your skin – it's almost as if he's being louder than you are.
he props your legs up onto his own shoulders when he leans down further into your pussy, getting better access while your thighs are in the air, tensing and quivering at each touch.
you start to seriously lose it when you feel pressure on your clit, getting even more stimulated your head starts to feel dizzy ; his thumb brushes against your folds to gather your juices before going up to your clit while his tongue starts to push down your entrance.
he mumbles something but you can't understand either from the pounding in your ears or because he factually has his mouth buried in your cunt.
"you feel so– fuck!" you almost cry out when he accelerates the pace on your clit "so fuckin' good shit," and before you get hold of the situation your muscles contract, your thighs wraps even tighter around choso and you're not really in the mindset to care if you're hurting him right now when you're nothing more than a trembling mess under him.
when you release the grip you have around his head with your legs, he slowly backs down and wipes under his chin with the back of his hand, breathing heavily as if he had just come flooding back from the water after a long dive. the sight has your brain rebooting from the start, simply short circuited.
"t'was okay?"
you almost feel indignation for his own self when you look at him in disbelief, "okay? thought i was losing my mind over there," you slowly sit up as you look at him with heavy lids. you probably look like you got run over.
"want me to get something to–"
he stops once he sees you getting your top over your shoulders, taking it off and throwing on the chair near his desk. you get closer to the edge of the bed, still sit up on it as you cage him between your legs since he's still kneeling on the ground.
"well.. i guess you have other plans..?" he murmurs under his breath, he doesn't even try to hide the fact he's staring, the man is practically glued to you like when kids stand too close to a tv.
"you're a perceptive one aren't you?" you leaned down to slip your fingers under his shirt, near his hips to take it off too, "unless you don't want to?" you whisper, stopping your movements to get his approval before starting anything but oh don't you dare take your hands off of him because he'll put them back on their original place.
"no–no, i do. i want you." his eyes meets yours and it's as if repentance was just knocking at your door and you don't know if you're willing to open the door because of how good he ate your pussy or because you really feel like you should do it.
"good."
you knew choso was introverted, a little shy even, the kind of men to be a little prudish even, the ones who'd rather stay indoors, the ones who's rather not get touched by anybody, even less when those places are under their clothes. you thought he was that kind of man when you'd first met him.
you got fooled. once when he mastered the technique of his tongue on you a few minutes ago that got your jaw dislocating in pleasure. but twice now that his shirt is past his torso, up to get through his head and you see yet another pair of silver jewelry. one on each of his nipples.
and your reaction is suited honestly, you just drop your arms and leave him struggling with the shirt on his own as his head is still tangled inside of it, you swear under your breath as you look at the two shiny buds. and maybe he did it as a distraction, getting two silvery eyes up his breast might be one hell of a surprise when you're trying to look at his whole torso ; but even in that case you wouldn't get why on earth you'd need to be distracted from his upper body, because what a fucking view.
once you see choso's head pop out of his t-shirt you're so turned on you're scared if you move you'll just leave the biggest pond of your slick on his covers ; you're feeling genuinely embarrassed to say the least.
"come here, get on your back." you tap on your left to show him the way on his own bed, he executes your demand without much more convincing. he lays down where his pillow rest, propping his head up a little as he still supports his body on his forearms, watching you.
which is not such a bad thing as it gets his whole upper body tensing up from the position, and you realize you got fooled thrice because of how defined his body is, muscles tracing his skin in the prettiest way.
you crawl closer to him and take his sweatpants off, throwing them along with the other remaining of clothes on the ground.
you straddle choso, only in his boxers now and he's always on the lookout for your next move, eyes traveling along every part of your body standing so close to him. you lean in to kiss him again, a simple kiss this time, not heated, nor passionate as you'd intended earlier, almost too intimate to your liking. you feel him relax under you, no, melt. he melts under your kiss, his back rests totally flat on his bed now and his hands travel along you jaw, touching you like porcelain if it were to break.
"it's only fair i return the favor, right?" you tell him as you lean near his ear, and if you chose to ignore the bulge in his underwear when you got him out off his pants you're certain you can't now. it's entirely poking through the fabrics to lean oh so perfectly against your entrance you have to fight back a moan just at the feeling. how embarrassing.
"fuck, please do." he moans, his hands get back on your hips slowly, pressing his fingers into your skin lightly. though you'd rather take some of your time, if you're in this might as well do it right.
you kiss your way down his body, from his lips, to his jaw, on his neck a few times — just because you love watching his adam's apple bobble up every time he gulps when you touch him — near his collarbones, on his torso and why not on the twins piercings he's got on it too.
at the contact of your tongue swirling around his nipples choso instantly throws his head back on his pillow, earning a deep breath from him along with a "fuckk" he couldn't bite back. at the same time your hips start to grind, slowly, cautiously, you wouldn't want to get off on his boxers now would you?
your hands reach down his boxers, under it to grab his dick but... maybe you got fooled fourth time. or maybe the saying is right, the quietest got the biggest and he's a living proof of the statement, you can attest. you break the contact on his sensitive buds and sit up correctly to look at it lay flat on his stomach, curved and strained in its own blood flow. you really have to close your mouth to not drool on it directly and you mumble something unintelligible.
his hands rest on your thighs, they try to guide you forward, they really do and you let them. you bring your hips forward, pussy gliding – as it's the only way it would be described, you're soaked – on his dick, just slipping through your wet folds, enough to mold him on the way forward, then all the way back when you return to your position. you let your hands fall on his abs, you're not even tired, you just need the support right now or else you're afraid you'll just collapse right onto him.
"God, you feel so good," you whine, grinding slowly along his cock and you honestly don't know how he's handling it down there 'cause it feels too fucking good for you.
"n-need you right now," he painfully gulps, he looks at the friction with a frown and he lowers his head back on the pillow, "shit..." he whimpers, such a wobbly voice yet he's not even inside of you thus far. you don't know who's winning the embarrassing contest but he might win over you if you keep giving him good pussy.
"so sweet. you're too fuckin' sweet y'know that?" you praise and choso's hands come directly to grab at your tits, cupping the roundness of them with both hands as he massages them slowly, pinching your nipple between his index and his thumb.
you're done with being patient actually as it is your cue to wrap your fingers around the head of his cock. you brush your thumb over his tip and his whole body jerks off from the touch, you slide your whole hand down the base of it as you pull yourself up on your knees.
you thought you'd reached the epitome of pleasure when he was between your legs just now, and you don't know what other seventh heaven you landed on when he entered you, but it was just as similar.
the head of his cock has just slipped through and you're already full of it, full of him. and you have no doubt when you look at choso that he's feeling it too. you both moan at the new feeling, a feeling you were too puerile to treat with such disdain when you looked at him, a feeling you'd never come to know if he didn't slightly hurt your ego with his kindness.
"holy shit, so fucking tight f'me.." he purrs through the whole process, his hands help you go down, steadily and slowly at your pace when more than half of his cock has sunk into you. your legs shake slightly when you've reached the end, you start to bounce up and down lazily, hearing every gushing sounds of both of your slick as they disperse through your organs.
he can't help it, you don't know if it's because you've teased him so much pior that he can't hold it in anymore, but the grip on your hips gets tighter, the bouncing up and down his cock gets messier, and even though your thighs start to feel numb you soon understand that choso has your back. his hips starts to buck back into you to meet your hips halfway, skin to skin as they collide rapidly.
"f–fuck, choso, you're gonna make m–"
"i know, i know." he soothes, you lean into him, chest to chest as you put your hands on his shoulders. and you can't help but be extremely grateful right now as you're practically laying down on him, he's fucking right into you with the help of his hands pressing down your hips as he moans in your ears softly.
"wanna make this pretty pussy mine– fuck. wanna make you mine." he whimpers and you can hear the way his throat tightens that he's close. you wouldn't wanna lie saying you're not – to be honest you've been wanting to come as soon as you hoped on his thighs.
you don't know if it's the heat of the moment, because you're taking his dick so fucking perfectly inside of you that the thought of being with him doesn't really repulse you that much, for it actually seems pleasant enough to imagine it.
"fuck–fuck-i'm gonna cum!"
and you sincerely hope nobody is in their dorms right now because you're sure the whole floor knows what their nerdy resident is doing to some resentful student on campus. he's so vocal you wouldn't have it any other way, specially when every each one of his moans reach your cunt before your ears.
you feel your legs tremble and your nails dig deeper into his skin when you reach your second orgasm, and not one for the weak ones as your pussy clenches so tightly you think you're sucking choso's dick whole with the suction. your hips get pulled up on spot when choso releases his own shot in between your bodies, his dick springing out from where it was caged. you still tremble on him when he breathes heavily, coming down to his high.
you both stay silent for a couple of seconds and reality hits you back.
"you're too good to me." he murmurs as he wipes some of the mascara under your eyes with his thumb, you head is still near the crook of his neck, you don't move.
oh only if he knew.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
"can you believe nerdy boy got laid?"
you turn to shoko almost too rapidly, "what?"
"i know, who would do that.."
you don't say anything. you don't really wanna say anything for now, but you know shoko isn't saying that just to make the conversation when she waits for an answer. a valid one.
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©nabitsun !
thank you for reading :D
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earthtooz · 2 years
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x : BETWEEN LOVE AND LIES :*+゚
in which: you thought nagi was dating you for media reputation... so why does this relationship feel suspiciously real?
warnings: 11.9k words, pro-soccer player!nagi x physiotherapist!gn!reader, reader has hair, lots of food, not at all a realistic story but that's okay pls don't come for me, SLOOWWWWBURN, fake-dating au, reader is oblivious :<
a/n: goodness. if this flops i will cry bc i spent way too long this for it to be healthy for me. enjoy !
↳ 5K EVENT MASTERLIST ༉‧₊
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nagi approaches you the day after his name goes viral.
you weren’t doing anything spectacular, merely putting away all the kits and equipment you’d used for the day when the white-haired soccer player approaches you, his hands in his pockets, strolling over to you as he would on any occasion. 
your heart races- as it does whenever he’s around, regardless of said occasion, but what tumbles out of his mouth next was worthy of ceasing your heart rate all together.
“wanna date?”
you’re speechless. malfunctioning as you register what he’s saying. the sheer casualness of it all is alarming and you have to snap yourself back into your physical environment before your mind loses to a universe of questions and doubts.
out of all people who have asked you to date, nagi was definitely the most unique. was he okay in the head? did he come for a check up? did he get one of rin’s kicks to the head? or was he just straight up delusional?
“uhh, why?” you ask, cursing yourself a little for how disgusted you sounded.
fortunately for you, your ungracious tone didn’t phase him, not one bit. “isn’t that what two people do when they like each other?”
yeah, romantically. you don’t even think nagi likes you beyond simply platonic, whereas you have to try and shove your feelings for him down your throat every morning before walking in to the training grounds for blue lock’s official team.
you find yourself agreeing regardless, still a little overwhelmed by everything that was going on. 
the soccer player then has the audacity to give you two thumbs up in approval, a dumb smile plastering on that expression of his. this confuses you even more.
“okay cool, so what should we do now that we’re a couple?” he asks.
you glance away, unable to look him in the eye for too long without getting flustered. the various weights and foam rollers still scattered on the floor catches your attention, reminding you of your previous task before nagi came to stir up a storm. “well, i have to put these away amongst various things. you can sit on the couch if you want to pass time?”
“do you need any help?” he questions, already bobbing down to be eye-level with you, ignoring the second half of your statement.
“no it’s fine, thank you though.”
“are you sure?”
“yeah! i don’t want to bother you.”
“well if you do this all by yourself, it’ll take longer, and you take longer, it means i have to wait longer to spend time with you.”
when you turn around to say something, the words die on your throat when you realise just how close he’d come to you during the time you had your back towards him. a flash of hurt crosses his typically emotionless eyes when you instinctively recoil from him, his innocent stare dimishing just a little. 
“you know how much i hate waiting. it’s such a pain, so let me help out and you’ll get done faster, right?” his hands are already reaching for some of the foam rollers before you can stop him. with an affectionate sigh, you take it from him, placing it back in its original spot.
“fine,” you say with a smile. “if you insist then would you mind putting the ice packs in the fridge? isagi’s ankle was messing up earlier and chigiri came in for his knee again.”
the white-haired hums before obeying, his footsteps that shuffled along the floor telling you know that he is carrying out his duties that you’ve assigned for him. the way his tracksuit makes a noise every time he walks is distracting, but you can’t help but think how much nagi reminds you of a penguin. the adorableness of it all might just kill you.
if only the internet and ‘#nagi seishiro’ tags knew just how much of a teddy bear that 6’3, legendary prodigy, nagi seishiro was, and how you had to massage him almost everyday after training sessions otherwise he’d come to practise the next day with the resolve of a five year old.
being a junior physiotherapist for the blue lock team, you only took care of a few blue lock athletes as your clients since the team was divided between you and a senior physio. nagi wasn’t one of your assigned athletes, however when you first came to the job, he would come during almost closing times (when you had no one booked) and ask for a massage, even if he had his own physiotherapist to request that of. however, nagi seemed to always have some sore muscle because his demands for a massage became a daily recurrence.
you just hope whatever is wrong with him gets sorted out soon. 
sure athletes are meant to work hard and use their bodies in the field but physio massages were to assist with injuries by minimising the risk of them, fixing the alignment, or help extend any limited range of movement. 
whatever. now’s not the time to think too hard about it because you’re about to go on a date with nagi seishiro. 
after cleaning up your space so you could prepare to take care of more athletes tomorrow, nagi is sauntering over to you once more. this time, he drapes himself all over you, causing you to stumble a little from how heavy he is. you pray to whoever’s listening that he can’t feel or hear the way your heart races in your chest, threatening to climb up your throat and jump into his hands. 
“tired, nagi?” you question, words muffled against his shoulder as you bring your hands to soothingly pat his back. 
“yeah,” whines the white-haired. the smile that creeps onto your face is one full of adoration for the man slung over you. “let me take you out.”
“where to?”
“a night market? it’ll be fun.” 
“sure.” 
at your confirmation, he separates from you with an excited glimmer in his eyes, 
after grabbing your bags and setting out, you’re violently flooded by dozens of paparazzi and interviewers who are click their cameras in hopes of catching blue lock’s soccer player who has taken the world by storm. it’s a little overwhelming, but when nagi covers you from the reporters with his arm which had his tracksuit jacket draped over it, you’re thankful for his thoughtfulness, especially when you’re relying on his grip around your waist to pull you in the right direction.
the crowd is shouting a flurry of things, nothing that you can make out amongst the mess of your mind, your heart, and your ears.
it’s not until you decipher someone shouting something about dating rumours with a japanese pop singer, that you piece together his intentions; a loud wakeup call to the reality of your ‘situation’ with nagi. 
the possibility that nagi was using this ‘relationship’ for media coverage and acknowledgement was very likely, especially with his recent growth in popularity and social media following- it would be understandable if he wanted to prolong his moment in the spotlight by entering beneficial relationships. 
except typically, celebrities would do it with other celebrities.
so what’s the appeal behind using you? 
a funny feeling brews in your gut, one that clawed at your chest with a series of disappointment, anxiety, and dismay. it was unbelievable that someone as hot, both literally and figuratively, as nagi would be interested in you; a junior physiotherapist fresh out of university, but you had hoped. his abruptness today and the whole ‘we should date’ ordeal was to dispel the media from his back, not bred from any genuine feelings.
if this was the only chance you got to stand beside nagi and have him hold you like this, so protectively against him, then you were going to take it until fate deemed it over and pulled you away from him itself.
you were young and simply put, nagi could provide the companionship you were looking for.
fortunately, the press left him alone at the parking lot where security guards were standing, two in the booth and one purchased near the gate. you give them a shy greeting and they return it with a bow.
“sorry about that,” nagi mutters, not looking at you even when you turn your head to stare up at him. “i wasn’t expecting paparazzi to be right outside, they’re such a pain.”
“it’s okay, if anything i owe you a thank you for covering me from them,” you huff, stuffing your hands into your pockets, mind still a little frazzled over the memory of how protective nagi was over you. “stuff like this happens when you’re famous, mr soccer hotshot.”
he rubs his neck, looking to the side as his next words tumble out of his mouth: “does that impress you?”
“why wouldn’t it?” 
you try not to think too hard about the blush that manifests on his face, pinning it on the colder weather and frostbite rather than your words. 
“so… where’s this night market? i didn’t know tokyo had many night markets.”
“just in shibuya.”
“won’t it be busy?”
“yeah,” he shrugs before adding as an afterthought: “does that bother you?”
“no not at all, i just thought you hated big crowds and busy places.”
“‘s won’t be so bad with you there.”
for someone who prefers to keep quiet majority of the time, nagi sure does have a silver tongue. this is probably the third time in the past half an hour that he’s made your stomach flip, and you can’t help but question his intentions. if he was trying to make you actually fall for him to make your relationship look more legitimate then he’d be disappointed to know that you already had, way before he approached you today. 
he agrees to drive the way since one: it was easier and two: you could avoid the paparazzi that way. 
upon arrival, you’re glad to see that there aren’t too many people in the crowd. since it was a weekday, students would be participating in extra curriculars and businessmen would be only just finishing work. the majority of the people here were older with a few couples here and there.
“oh, they have lemon tea,” nagi mutters, grabbing your hand before unceremoniously dragging you to the stand. his excitement was endearing, especially when all 6’3 of him approaches the lemon tea stand, needing to bend down in order to be seen by the elderly stand owner. a flash of surprise crosses the maker’s face as he makes eye contact with the white-haired.
“two lemon teas please,” requests the soccer player, using his hands to gesture ‘two’ as he fishes out the appropriate amount of money.
“hey, you’re that soccer player, nagi! you scored an awesome goal the other day. mind if i get a picture?” the owner’s gruff voice requests, a cheery smile making its way onto his face.
“oh. sure.”
you take the picture for them, counting down ‘3, 2, 1’ as nagi gives the camera a peace sign and the owner has a wide, bright smile on his face; so bright that you couldn’t help grinning as well. “i’m putting this on my store front. now you want two lemon teas?”
“coming right up!” 
“did you just buy me a lemon tea without asking?” you question, a smile appearing on your features as you glance up at your companion.
he meets your eyes, “yeah, ‘s there something wrong with that?” 
“no, not at all. i wouldn’t mind some lemon tea right now. i’ll pay you back.”
“don’t worry about that,” nagi cuts you off before you can even reach for your wallet. “everything’s on me.”
“but-”
“-it’s on me.”
the stand owner is handing over two iced cups of lemon before you can continue bickering and nagi hands one over to you with a wordless expression and you’re compelled to take it, though reluctantly.
“are you two a couple?” the owner asks.
nagi nods, “yeah, we are.”
“ah! no wonder. you two look amazing together, you bagged a real gem,” he says to nagi, pointing at you. you laugh it off, flattered.
“i know i did. thanks for the tea, sir.”
“thank you!” you call out to the owner before being dragged away by nagi again, careful not to spill your drink from how much vigour was in his steps. for his one stride, you had to take two. 
after going from store to store and blindly following nagi who led the way with his stomach, you’re eventually brought to a less busy, picnic-like area where there were various benches for you to sit on. it was away from the busyness of the main street, but still had lanterns hung around the premise, combating the darkness of the early sunset during colder months.
you take a seat beside him whilst he sets down the variety of food he bought from the merchants, not trying to think too much about the way nagi presses himself closely against you. 
“oh, one of my games had a character drop an hour ago,” he absentmindedly comments, opening his phone for the first time since being with you. you catch a glimpse of his dim phone screen, seeing the notification banner from the game he was referring to.
“that’s cool,” you mutter, unsure of what else to say as you take a bite into the red bean taiyaki.
“yeah, he’s a cracked character. been wanting him forever.”
“are you gonna pull? i wanna see him.”
“really?” 
when you give him the nod of affirmation, nagi opens the game whilst you continue eating, gentle anticipation hanging in the air as well as a comfortable silence. it doesn’t take long before he’s purchasing special event tokens, going to the special character screen and pressing the ‘draw x10’ option. you peer over his shoulder, trying to resist the urge to rest your chin on it.
you’re snapped out of your reverie when nagi emits a small gasp. “no way.”  
“what?” you ask, watching the way his screen lights up in gold which signalled a successful draw. he looks up at you, eyes wide and mouth partially parted. “did you get him?”
“yeah, on the first go,” he says in wonder, a dazed look in his eyes. “that’s never happened before.”
“no way! you’re so lucky!”
nagi’s face erupts into a small smile, and you’re caught off guard all of a sudden when his hands snake around your waist, pulling you up to sit on his lap. the new proximity and abruptness of it all causes your mind to stop for a second, shutting off as nagi peers up at you with stars in his eyes. you want to hide, but his grip around you is too tight, pulling you in to him.
this feels criminal. 
“nah, i just think you’re my lucky charm.”
a quiet squeak of ‘is that so?’ is all you can reply with before looking away, trying to distract your rampant thoughts, hoping that the cool breeze will calm the heat creeping up to your face. “so,” you begin, trying to recover yourself from embarrassment. “can i see your characters? all of them?”
“all of them?” nagi repeats and you miss the small look of bliss on his expression.
“yeah.”
“i showed them to you the other week.”
“okay, well show me this new character then.”
“as you wish.” 
he talks you through the characters and their tutorials, showing you their special combos and ultimate moves, all whilst you have to feed him the variety of foods he bought whilst dragging you around like a dog and its owner. as he munches on the takoyaki, kebabs, and sweet potato, you realise just how bottomless nagi’s stomach was and the way he hums in satisfaction after each bite was very adorable.
the night fades into a nice memory of laughter, emptied food boxes, and easy conversation. somehow nagi has manoeuvred himself so that his head was now in your lap, snowy hair spread so invitingly as you resist the urge to run your hands through it, wanting to respect any boundaries of his. 
every so often you have to remind yourself that this wasn’t real. 
reality hits you once more the following morning when you check social media just to see ‘#nagi seishiro’ trending all over again, all talking about the paparazzi photos that were taken yesterday. taking a glimpse for yourself, you hate the way your gut sinks, especially as articles with the title ‘nagi seishiro with a new lover?’ shine in your face.
it only solidifies your speculations about this (fake?) relationship, and despite coming to accept it, growing resentment poisons your system, rendering you incapable and bitter as you let your breakfast grow cold. 
at least nagi correctly covered you with his jacket, your face is completely obstructed, only your body is revealed. you thank your lucky stars that you decided to not wear your ‘blue lock’ staff clothes that morning and just opted for your own athletic wear, that way your identity could be hidden at least just a little.
a message from reo captures your attention and you click on it immediately. 
reo: is that you with nagi? 
you: yeah! 
reo: about fucking time. got sick of you two never doing anything. 
you: haha 😐thanks reo 😐
reo: did he take you to the night market last night?
you: yeah! it was fun :)
reo: that’s good, nagi’s been waiting forever.
reo: don’t break his heart 
you scoff at the irony of reo’s last text, typing something noncommittal before throwing your phone else where. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
the whole team practically knows about you and nagi when you return to work the following monday and the second you enter the building, you’re swarmed by the friendly faces of bachira, isagi, and chigiri, who are seemingly holding a tired nagi hostage. quite an amusing sight. three people, who are roughly a head shorter than the white-haired, restraining a lethargic 6’3 athlete with their bodies. 
“are you really dating nagi?” isagi begins before you could even fit in a ‘hello’.
“uh… yeah?” you sound unsure; because you are. a fake relationship is still a relationship, it’s just that one party is more infatuated with the other.
“damn. i didn’t think it was real,” mutters chigiri. “are you sure? he’s not like… paying you to do this, right? you like like him?”
“yes?” you exclaim, a little overwhelmed. “i’m not getting any monetary returns even though i wish i did.” nagi narrows his eyes at you, you poke out your tongue. “please, no more questions, it’s way too early for this.”
“you don’t know how long we’ve been waiting for nagi to ask you out, y/n. even we placed money on him,” reveals isagi but before you could say anything in response, bachira cuts in, practically skipping up to the white-haired.
“finally grew some balls and asked, good job bro!” bachira sings, patting nagi on the back with a violet slap before disappearing.
“see you at practice, nagi!” 
the three athletes disappear and you finally exhale after holding in a breath for what felt like ages. what an animated way to start the day.
you hold your breath again when nagi approaches to stop in front of you, a singular coffee cup in his hand; one that he holds out to you.
“good morning, nagi,” you greet.
“hey, i got you coffee.” instinctively, you take the cup from him, immediately warmed up by the heat emanating from it. “i hope it’s still warm. i’ve been waiting for you for a while.”
“you were waiting for me?” 
“yeah. wanted to see you before going to training. makes my day less of a bother.”
you smile into your cup, trying to hide the effect that nagi has on you. you were so stupid for him it was insane.
“i’m sorry for making you wait, the trains were a little delayed this morning,” you confess, “but thank you. you’re very thoughtful, nagi.”
his face contorts into an ugly expression, a display of his feelings that are quickly quelled by the feeling of your cold hand grabbing his warm ones. “you take public transport to work?”
“i don’t want to pay for parking and everything. it’s not all bad, i get lovely views and a wake up call every morning.” 
the white-haired athlete makes a face of contemplation briefly. “let me pick you up from now on.”
“no, it’s fine. i don’t want to be more of a hassle. i know how much you hate waking up to even just come to work so-”
“-i want to.”
your heart flutters at his insistence and all you can mutter out is a feeble ‘ok’ before slipping your hand out of his. you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to get used to the way nagi seishiro so effortlessly warms your insides; to the point that it becomes an unrecognisable pool of putty. 
after a moment, you regain your senses. “you should be going off to practise. don’t make ego mad before the day even starts.”
he groans, “won’t you come and watch? i’ll feel a little better if you’re there.”
“i have my own work to get to but i don’t have many checkups today so if i can, i will.”
“i suppose that’s good enough,” mutters nagi before pulling you in for a loose hug, arms wounding around your waist, breathing you in before stepping back, as if rejuvenated by your touch and presence alone. 
“work hard, nagi.”
you go your separate ways, him to the field and you to your office where various coworkers resided.
after a morning of answering emails, going to meetings and consulting the results from various body screenings, you finally have a chunk of time around 11:45 am to go and watch practice. as soon as you entered the training grounds, you’re a little stunned and impressed to see that they were all doing shooting drills, landing them perfectly with no effort, the harsh sound of shoe slapping against leather ringing throughout the area.
nagi notices you almost immediately, his eyes lighting up a little when you shoot him a small wave before wandering into the bleachers, taking a seat in a second row. 
you continue watching, straightening up in your seat whenever it’s nagi’s turn, waiting to watch the genius at work. the results are no less than impressive every time but you have to pretend like you weren’t at all marvelling at him whenever he turns around and looks at you expectantly.
15 minutes later, ego calls for an hour lunch break, allowing the players to break off to do whatever their heart desires. the first thing nagi does is walk over to where you sit in the stands, leaning over the first row of chairs to reach you.
“why hello there, soccer sensation,” you greet and he gives you a lazy smile.
“hi.”
“you going to go for lunch?”
“yeah. have you had something to eat yet or do you wanna grab a bite together?”
“i brought cup noodles but i don’t mind. don’t you want to go with your friends?” 
“you’re better.”
“please shut up, that’s so cringe,” you murmur with an undeniable grin, one that causes his gaze to soften as well. “let’s get lunch together then.”
“let me get dressed,” the athlete says, about to run off when you abruptly stop him, causing him to turn around suddenly, his hair whipping around with his actions. “what’s up?”
beckoning him over, he returns to where he stood before and you take out a hair tie, one that you store in your pockets all the time just in case. “does your hair not bother you when you practise?” you silently ask for permission, hand merely hovering near his head until you realise that he was okay with the contact. “it’s getting all in your face, even i was annoyed when watching you.” 
gently, you run your hands through his hair and despite the sweat on his forehead, it’s still soft and fluffy. goodness you could play with it forever.
then, you gather nagi’s front bangs, bringing them together to resemble a unicorn horn, tying it with your hairband. when you part from your work, you’re pleasantly surprised that it holds but you suppress a giggle because of how ridiculous he looks, paired with that dazed look in his eyes, you never thought you’d see nagi like this.
when you reach to tug your hairband out of his hair, he waves you off, taking the updo out himself.
“can i keep the hairband?” he pleads and you quirk an eyebrow.
“it’s just a hairband,” you say.
“so you won’t miss it right?”
“no, i won’t-”
“-okay, epic,” he mumbles before putting the hair tie around his wrist and a part of you swells with pride at the sight; a feeling that you try to shove down with little success. “can i get changed now?”
“yes, go.”
whilst you watch the white-haired disappear from your vision, you can’t help but wonder how you got yourself into this situation with such a weirdo. still, you adore said weirdo and this was no one’s fault but your own.
nagi wears the hair tie for the remainder of the day.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
roughly two months or so pass by and the days become a blur, especially since training is becoming more rigorous for the team due to the preparations for their spring soccer season. your schedule is piled day by day with athletes coming for their regular checkups and consultations, leaving you drained as soon as the work day is over.
nagi, your loving ‘partner’ notices this because he always likes to stick around after hours and bother you for a massage. he always insists that you do it because it’s like an immediate ‘full heal’ but you just think that he’s too lazy to book a professional masseuse and that you’re the next best thing.
whatever. at least he’s cute.
“i hardly see you nowadays,” he mutters, voice muffled by the leather bed of your workspace. 
you gather a little more lotion on your hands, spreading it along his calves before pressing your thumbs into his muscles, trying to identify where any tight spots might be. “i’m sorry, i don’t have much time nowadays. appointments with you guys go all the way til six, and i don’t get home until 6:30. then i’m practically out like a light.”
he hums in torment and in consideration, tensing his shoulders a little as a natural response to the pain in his legs. “well, tomorrow’s a saturday. can i take you out?”
“i don’t know, some athletes may sporadically come and bother me to get a massage so i’ll let you know if anything comes up.”
“be serious.”
“i am free tomorrow.”
“sick. keep it that way.”
“even if athletes bother me for a much-needed massage in order to perform at their best?”
he huffs something in response before flopping his face back down on the leather bed, the (seemingly invincible) knots in his calves taking too much of your attention for you to think too hard about tomorrow’s date with nagi. 
he’s still wearing your hair tie around his wrist. 
true to his word, nagi picks you up the next day at 3pm for your date since he insisted that was the earliest he would be ready by (meaning, it’s the earliest he can wake up). when you meet him, you’re a little stunned by the amount of disguises he’s wearing. sunglasses, beanie, and a face mask, you’re not sure whether he’s going to attract more attention or blend in.
also, when you’re 6’3 it’s hard to avoid eyes.
“hey, i’m supposed to meet someone called nagi, he’s got white hair, grey eyes, 190 cm, have you seen him?” you ask as soon as you approach the soccer player. he sighs through his mask when you erupt into a fit of laughter. “i’m just kidding.”
nagi brings down his mask to sit below his chin. “your boyfriend is right here,” he corrects, voice demanding and authoritative, sending shivers down your spine. 
“so he is,” you mumble, stepping closer to engulf him in a hug. he wraps his arms around you in return and you contentedly sigh when he pulls you into the comfortable, expensive material of his hoodie. “what’s with the disguise?”
“i don’t want anyone to ruin our day out so i’m wearing this.”
“ever so thoughtful aren’t you?” 
when you take a step back, nagi’s careful to not let you stray too far which is indicated through the protective arm he keeps around your shoulders. 
“should we get going?”
“yeah.”
the white-haired laces your hands with his, his grip gentle yet committed to keeping you near him as you stroll down the warming streets of tokyo.
“it’s finally spring,” nagi comments offhandedly, causing you shift your gaze towards him. you’re surprised that he was initiating conversation, majority of the time it was you doing the rambling and him partaking in the listening. “the cold weather was getting bothersome. hated going to practise all freezing, makes warmup so hard.”
“i like the cold weather,” you say. “it’s easier to dress for winter than it is for summer.”
“that is true.”
“do you like spring?”
“yeah, ‘s my favourite season.”
you didn’t think someone like nagi would bother too much with having a favourite season. “why’s that?”
“it’s a good season for napping and staying inside. i like that i don’t have to do much nor think about much.” 
such a nagi response. you admire how stubborn he sticks to his ideals and general philosophy, it’s a comforting quality and aspect to have. 
“plus it’s your birthday season,” you add. 
he looks at you with a gentle smile before repeating: “it’s my birthday season.”  
nagi takes you to a park where the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, its petals decorating the scenery and ground, creating a dainty, lovely carpet of pink and beauty. however, the main attraction of the date isn’t the scenery of the park but rather, the lake where several pedal boats float on the water; some occupied, some vacant.
the soccer player shows the attendant his purchased tickets, getting them scanned before you’re led to get on one of the boats. 
“so… are you liking the date?” nagi asks when you’re out far enough from the dock so that no one can hear you. here, he takes off his mask, tucking it into his pocket.
“i am, i’ve been wanting to ride one of these boats for a long time but i’ve just never found the time,” you confess. “i’m glad that it’s with you. thanks, nagi.” 
he looks away, an obvious pink tint appearing on his cheeks as he rubs his neck in embarrassment. “it’s okay, i s’pose.”
“you’re so cute,” you say whilst raising one hand to drag through his hair.
“stop,” he whines but not brushing you off or pulling away, instead, he leans into your touch.
a few minutes of silence pass by before nagi speaks up again, retreating back into his personal space as he fishes for something in his hoodie pocket. he pulls out a long velvet box, handing it over for you to take which you do with a little hesitation.
“i wanted to give you something to mark two months,” he tells you and you feel your heart drop.
“wait what? two months? i didn’t know we were celebrating that!” (because you spend too much time fretting over the day he’d tell you that he wants to break up, not needing this fake relationship anymore.) “i didn’t get you anything, i feel terrible now-”
“-it’s not a big deal, i just wanted to give you something.”
“nagi i can’t accept this, this is too good-”
“-i insist.”
“but i don’t have anything for you-”
in the blink of an eye his hands are clasped tightly around yours, his face incredibly close to yours that you’re stupefied into silence. “i. insist.”
you stare at him for another three seconds before relenting, opening the velvet box with the utmost care in fear that you might drop it in the water; a horrifying thought. 
a gasp of delight slips out of your mouth when you see an emerald necklace beaming brightly in your face. it’s in the shape of a pendant, encrusted around a halo plate with gold surrounding it, and from the looks of it, it couldn’t have been cheap.
looking back up at him to express the disbelief you feel, you’re silenced by the gentle look in his eyes, one that shines with adoration and devotion.
“it’s beautiful,” you whisper, unable to talk much louder in fear that it’ll cause the emerald to shatter in your hand. “you shouldn’t have.”
“i wanted to because i really like you. stop worrying.”
you exhale deeply, a little flustered and caught off guard by how candid he was. this feels suspiciously real.
“where did you learn to be so romantic?” you quiz, using humour to narrow how awkward you felt. 
“shoujos,” he answers shamelessly.
“ah.” makes sense as to why he makes you feel like you’re in one. “can you help me put the necklace on?”
the white-haired shines with glee, features brightening for a second. “y-yeah, of course.”
“thank you.” 
when he grasps the jewellery in his hold you turn around to expose the back of your neck to him, practically holding your breath when you feel his warm fingers brush against your skin, his touch barely there yet still prominent enough to blaze trials of fire where he caresses. 
“how do i look?” you ask, turning back around.
“beautiful,” he says, no louder than a whisper.
eventually the boat ride comes to an end and you return back to the dock. a lingering feeling of bliss and giddiness resonates in your chest, evident in the undeniable grin plastered on your face whilst you walk through the park; this time with a pretty gemstone adorning your neck. 
“nagi, look!” you exclaim, gesturing over to a company-branded photo booth that had set itself up in the middle of the park. there were various people lining up for one and judging by the pleased squeals from groups of students, it would be a nice memory to keep for today. “should we take one?”
“sure,” he shrugs, letting you drag him to hop in the queue which was going much faster than you anticipated. 
when it’s your turn, there’s hardly any time to discuss poses when the cameraman clicks the countdown button so unexpectedly. you reflexively hug nagi whilst smiling and he just gives a simple peace sign. he then stands behind you, wrapping his arms around you to place his head atop yours. finally, he bends down to kiss your cheek, rendering you completely mentally inable as you default a pose, not entirely too sure which one whilst you wait for the countdown and the camera flash. 
“you guys are so cute!” the photographer exclaims, handing your photobooth strips already. even then you hadn’t regained your senses, relying on nagi to guide you with his hand on the small of your back. 
glancing down at the photo strip, you’re stunned into speechlessness at the last photo. you can still remember the feeling of his lips on your cheek, specks of his warmth lingering on your skin whilst you continue trying to register what just happened.
you might explode or something. 
“cute,” nagi mumbles whilst putting the photo strip into his wallet, pulling you in by the waist to stand closer to him, whispering in your ear. “i still have one place i want to take you.” 
“do you?” you squeak, earning you a nod as he leads you through the park, coming to a stop when you enter a somewhat secluded section that had a sign labelled ‘private picnic rooms’ with various price ranges according to the number of people.
once again, he claims to have a reservation and you’re led by an attendant towards a specific area that had a table scattered with plates of snacks and various decorations. the vibe of the room was incredible with tatami mats, a floor to ceiling glass window that outlook the cherry blossoms, and if you tried hard enough, you could hear a stream running. 
“you… really outdid yourself,” you murmur, wandering over to one side of the table, expecting him to sit on the other. instead, he takes the spot right beside you.
you’re not too sure if this layout is how the establishment intended it to be but it is now.
“so you like it?” 
“i do. i love everything you’ve done today, you’re too good for me.”
“not true,” he grumbles, too quiet for you to address it further but loud enough for you to hear.
your relationship doesn’t make any sense to you. why is nagi trying so hard to impress you when this relationship was just for beneficial gain? what does he get from booking a pedal boat ride, buying you a (clearly expensive) emerald necklace, then taking you to have a private picnic? 
picking up a piece of halved mochi with the provided fork, you give the first bite to nagi who is more than happy to oblige, chewing on it with a satisfied expression. 
he’s so cute, you could pinch him.
your eyes then flit over to the decorations on the table, reaching over to the branch of cherry blossoms in a vase before you could think, ripping off one of the sticks with the bloomed flower and putting it in nagi’s hair and behind his ears. his adorableness just tripled.
“aww you look really cute with pink!”
“ya think so?” 
“yeah! you’re so pretty nagi,” you reach over to fiddle with the flower, not registering how close you’d gotten to him until you feel his breath fan across your face.
then you comprehend it, frozen in place for a second as you study nagi’s beauty from an angle you hadn’t before. how his snowy hair fanned perfectly over his forehead, the way the light bounced in the reflection of his eyes, and the imperfections that littered across his skin all contributed towards making the pretty being that was nagi seishiro. 
he leans in. you freak out, instinctively turning your head.
your breath gets caught in your throat when you feel nagi’s lips brush against the corners of your mouth, lingering there for a moment before parting and the look of hurt that flashes across his face hurts your soul. 
did you do the right thing? you thought you did- you know nagi isn’t into you the way you are into him. this relationship was made for media attraction, for him to gain more seconds of fame, so why does he keep acting like you two are real? why does he keep protecting your identity from the internet, why did he wear a disguise when meeting you when he would have wanted to boast that he was taken, why does he want to kiss you?
why does he look so hurt when he didn’t?
this was all so confusing.
tension lingers in the air for the rest of the date. you try to compensate for it by being a little more affectionate, giving in to your desires of openly loving him for the day. nagi’s satisfied.
you don’t notice how the cherry blossom fell from his ear.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
you won’t find answers to your questions for a long time. in fact, the amount of questions you had quadrupled one night when you had spent the day at nagi’s apartment after work one day to watch a tv show that was on his ‘to-watch’ list.
“stay the night?” asks nagi, resting his head on your shoulder to give you his best puppy-dog eyes. you will yourself to not look at him by keeping your gaze firm on the television screen. 
“oh this episode sounds good. maybe we can watch this then i’ll get going,” you mutter whilst fiddling with the remote, dutifully ignoring his pleads and the way he tugs at you; something that does not resonate well with him. 
“oi. don’t ignore me.”
with a rough exhale, you finally turn towards him. “i can’t.”
“why not? we don’t have work tomorrow.” 
“i know but i just feel bad to bother you and take up your space.”
“you’re not botherin’ me. there’s so much space here, it feels empty without you.”
“nagi-”
“-won’t you call me seishiro? or something more romantic?”
the relationship shifts with his very words and you feel the genuine desperation that bleeds from nagi through his tone. when you look him in the eye, part of you shines with hope that maybe your relationship was real and not bred for media benefit.
in this moment of weakness, you let the top of your walls crumble.
“okay, seishiro.”
he beams. a smile so pure that you shatter like glass in his hands. “yay.”
you then find yourself underneath him as he lays his entire body weight over you, pressing you into the comfortable cushions of his couch as his hands delicately run up and down your waist. paralysed with confusion at the amount of love he pours into his touch, you keep forgetting that the higher you climb, the harder the inevitable fall will be. 
“stay the night, please?”
how could you say no when he was asking so nicely? “okay, seishiro.”
“yay.”
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“hey seishiro, are you ready?” you ask, fiddling with your rings as you round the corner of your living room where your oversized boyfriend is lounging across the couch whilst you got ready (boyfriend still feels weird to say even if he has zero problems with addressing himself by that title).
“yeah. let’s go-” he grumbles, cutting himself off when he glances over at you, eyes widening. “-whoa.”
heat rushes to your cheeks whilst nagi continues to shamelessly marvel at you, slowly standing up to cross the distance between you, his hands naturally hovering to hold your hips when he’s close enough. his gaze lingers even longer on the emerald necklace that sits between your collarbones. “like what you see?”
he stays silent for a second, leaving you to anticipate his answer. “we don’t have to go to isagi’s,” he mumbles. “how do we feel about staying in?” 
“don’t. your best friend is hosting this party, can’t you at least show up for him?” 
the white-haired sulks. “but you look so good. why should i celebrate that shortie instead of you?”
you push his face away, jokingly fed up with your boyfriend’s lazy attitude. “isagi is also my friend and i want to celebrate with him, just for an hour or two and then we can leave. deal?” 
“fine.”
twenty minutes later, you arrive at isagi’s place where a good amount of his closest friends had gathered, showing up far earlier than you and nagi did. 
truthfully, you were looking forward to isagi’s party since he was not throwing a massive rave where everyone was invited- those always ended up to be more unfortunate than fun in your opinion, and that wouldn’t exactly cater to his shy and sensible character. tonight was a gathering for his friends to hangout and celebrate. some you recognise from the team, some of them must be from high school or elsewhere.
bachira’s cheery face is the first one you see upon arrival, his smile wide as he practically bounces off the walls in excitement and you already begin to wonder just how many desserts and sweets he’s had upon arrival. 
“hey it’s the couple of the century!” he exclaims with a wink. nagi keens at bachira’s compliment, all proud and boastful as his hand creeps up to hold your hip protectively. “lookin’ good as always!” 
“yo, where’s isagi?” the white haired questions.
“around, i’ll take you to him c’mon!” 
the two soccer players are off before you can even count to three, nagi and bachira disappearing into the crowd as the hyperactive boy drags your 190 cm of a boyfriend through the crowd. well, at least he took the gift you both bought with him, but now you feel a little alone and very awkward.
walking around the hallways of isagi’s, you feel a little out of place since most of them seemed to be high school friends. it’s not until you reached the kitchen that you sigh in relief, met with the familiar, friendly faces of chigiri and reo who see you first.
“hey!” the red-haired calls out, waving at you as you walk over to them. “it’s good to see you, y/n, how are you?”
“hey chigiri, hey reo, i’m good! i just arrived but this seems like a cool gathering. isagi’s really outdone himself,” you greet.
“yeah he did. good way to unwind before the soccer season gets too crazy,” reo chips in. “nice outfit by the way, you served!”
“oh shut up, you look amazing yourself. you too chigiri.” 
“so… where’s nagi?” the purple-haired asks, checking his phone to see if he had received any texts from his best friend. “didn’t he come with you?”
“yeah but bachira dragged him to go talk to isagi as soon as i arrived. you know how he is.”
after a few more minutes of talking with the two, you finally pause the conversation out of concern about nagi’s whereabouts might be. you thought he’d come and find you after a while but guess you’ll search for him first. 
informing the pair first before breaking away, you wander into the rooms where bachira pulled nagi into, blindly hoping that they’ll be in there. to your chagrin, there were only a few unfamiliar faces spread along the couches, discussing something with a drink in their hand. you ignore the sight of otoya and one of isagi’s friends sitting too close for comfort.
when you walk into the next room, you stop in your tracks at the sight in front of you: nagi leaning against the wall with a stranger who clearly has no distinction of personal space, their hand resting on his chest. your heart plunges the bottom of your stomach as distraught settles within you because of the scene unfolding in front of you, chest churning with a distant ache that you can’t put your finger on.
then he looks over at you.
the instinct to turn around and run overpowers any rational judgement, especially when a flurry of emotions begin to well up inside you, causing you to sink further and further in an ocean of doubt and fear. 
you had no right to be jealous, not over nagi because you’re just his ‘pseudo-partner’, he’s not really yours and it’s moment like these that truly humble you into remembering. you’re just his ‘pseudo-partner’, you’re just his ‘pseudo-partner’, you’re just his-
“-where are you going?” comes an indifferent voice from behind you. all anxiety floods out of you like a broken dam. a warm, large hand tugs on your wrist and even if he had not spoke, you’d know from touch alone that it was nagi behind you. the multitude of times that he’s spent holding you, intertwining his hand with yours, and cherishing you has forced you to brand him into your memory. 
you are his. even if it is not mutual, you would be his until he stomps the fire out.
“i-i thought i was interrupting something,” you stammer, looking into at nagi’s doe eyes.
“you didn’t. actually, you made it better by coming,” he says before wrapping his arms around your torso. “that person wouldn’t leave me alone, such a pain. tried to say i was taken too, so glad you came.”
you return the hug, trusting his words. “glad i came too.”
nagi pulls you out of the water.
“can we leave yet? i don’t wanna be here anymore.”
“just a little longer. i haven’t even seen isagi yet. plus, we should dance.”
he gives you a quick look up and down before nodding in agreement. you smack his shoulder.
you manage to locate isagi rather quickly. he was near the food bar where refreshments and various desserts and snacks laid so after greeting him, wishing him ‘happy birthday’, and chatting with him for approximately five minutes before nagi started getting bitchy, you’re pulled into the dance floor by the white-haired. he said that they were playing a good song when you asked why he was being so impatient.
with a laugh, you give in.
nagi doesn’t really know how to dance but you can’t help but be a little entertained, deciding to end his awkwardness when you grab his hands and lead him through some moves, singing along to the song with each other. it ends with your arms around his neck and his around your waist (again) when a slower song plays. 
hiding your face in his chest, you breathe in the subtle aroma of his cologne that you urged him to put on earlier. when he gently prompts you to look up at him with a hand gently pulling on your hair, your breath gets caught in your throat at the close proximity as nagi stares at your lips, glancing up to meet your eyes again before leaning in.
this time you don’t feel as cruel, bracing yourself for the first sip of water after crossing the desert, for the final puzzle piece clicking into place, for the feeling of his lips slotting against yours; for the feeling of completion. 
instantly you relax at the sensation, melting into his embrace as you hold onto him a little tighter, wanting more. you want to take as much of him as he’ll allow and even then, you’ll cherish every last part.
you want him the same way the ocean longs for the moon.
parting from him makes you feel empty. the lidded look he gives you is full of temptation and… love?
snapping out of your reverie, you step away from him, using his dazed state to create some distance between the two of you as you come to your senses. senses that scream at you for possibly ruining… this. 
you hate that you keep running away from him, leaving him in the dust of the mess that are your feelings. it’s immature, irrational, and downright childish, really it is, but how else can you stop the way you’re about to burst at the seams? how can you stop yourself from devoting yourself fully to nagi seishiro if you don’t forcefully screw the lid over your emotions?
for the second time tonight, the white-haired chases after you because there was never another option. he despises being away from you and despises it even more when it’s him you’re running away from, wanting nothing more than to be by your side at all times.
for the second time tonight, he grabs your wrist but now, he leads you through isagi’s house, weaving through a series of well-kept and simply decorated rooms to finally arrive at a balcony. one that was untouched by the party goers.
“why do you keep doing this?” he asks, pleading for an answer as desperation laces his voice and eyes. “why do you keep running away?”
you’re stunned. he’s hurt by your carelessness and the way you constantly recoil from him as if he was electric, his powerful figure slouching, all his quiet confidence and stubbornness seeping out of him, running to pool at your feet. 
“am i doing something wrong? i thought you liked me.”
“i-i’m confused,” you stammer stupidly. 
he grows even more perplexed. “you’re confused? i’m even more confused! one second i think you like me then the next, you’re trying to avoid me. why do you keep doing this? i really really like you, y/n. but it doesn’t feel like you like me at all sometimes.”
“no!” you blurt out. “it’s not like that! i do like you, a lot, in fact i might even… love you? it’s just…”
as you try to recap the timeline of your relationship in the past few months, you find yourself at a loss for words as you truly realise the multitude of your stupidity. you might slap yourself in the face.
this entire time, nagi has liked you- genuinely liked you for who you are yet you’ve been denying the love he has been trying to share with you since you internalised it all to be a sham. that someone like nagi seishiro couldn’t want you in the same way you wanted him. you’ve been hurting him this entire time and you don’t know how to begin explaining why.
well… no other option than with one word at a time.
you go to grab both his hands, inhaling. “i didn’t think we got together based on genuine feelings.”
he recoils, eyebrows and nose scrunching. 
“i thought you were using me to- i don’t know, trend on the internet by teasing everyone with some sort of secret relationship which sounds so stupid, i know, but i just couldn’t believe that you would want me for me,” you ramble, only stopping to breathe. “these few months have been amazing but i lowkey thought you were going to break up with me and say something like ‘surprise! i’ve never liked you’ before leaving me. i don’t deserve someone like you and-” 
“what?”
you shut up.
“you thought you don’t deserve me? that’s the biggest lie i’ve ever heard. you’re perfect. i was the one that got lucky.”
“lucky? you? really?”
“yeah,” he breathes. “you’re like a gift sent by fate.”
that renders you speechless for a little. there’s more to say, you know there is because of the pregnant silence that lingers around the two of you for a little but maybe that’s for another time. 
are you dreaming? this feels surreal. maybe you’ll start floating too. 
“also, why would i want to trend for any other reason but soccer?”
“i don’t know! you asked me out really abruptly- i’ve never been asked out like that before! talk about confusing. and the paparazzi was waiting for us after too like, what was i supposed to think!”
“i see.”
“yeah.”
more silence.
“so… you love me?” nagi asks and you groan, removing your hands from his to cover your face from embarrassment. 
“i guess i do,” you grumble.
“hey, don’t hide from me,” the white-haired says before grabbing your wrists to lower them from your face. “i love you too.”
“really?”
“yeah.”
“that’s cool.”
“it is.”
you do both of you a favour by kissing him fervently. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“sei, shouldn’t you be getting ready for the match or whatever it is you athletes do?” you ask when nagi’s mop of white hair peaks up from behind the door to your physio office.
he steps out from behind the doorframe, crossing the distance to get to you. he’s sporting his blue lock tracksuit with his hands dug into his pocket and you’re a little envious of how comfortable he looks. “i was until i realised you weren’t there. i was waiting for you to show up.”
“well i don’t really have to be there early. i just get there around 20 or so minutes earlier.”
“i see.”
“why, did you want me there or something?” you ask with a cheeky eyebrow raise, poking him in his sides causing him to recoil a little from your touch.
“why else would i walk all this way?”
“a stunning 50 metres- i’m so sorry for your perilous journey,” you comment, placing a kiss on his cheek before walking away from him to set up your box of medical supplies including kinesio tapes, bandages, and cold spray. he slumps down on the waiting couch near the entrance.
your role as blue lock’s official therapist meant that you had to be on standby for the team at all time during official matches. even though you aren’t their nurse, you still bring first aid things like ice packs to minimise the amount of time spent travelling between offices, especially if that distance is not needed. 
after scanning the box for the last time and mentally ticking your checklist of materials required to bring, you pat your leg in satisfaction before standing up. “i can go to the field now. there’s probably tape changes that i need to do.”
nagi lazily grins, searching for your hand to help pull himself up. “yay.”
“you need to be warming up while we’re at it.”
“aw. okay.”
the walk back to the field is painless enough with nagi holding onto your hand for dear life whilst carrying your box of supplies for you. for someone who is about to compete in less than an hour, he is surprisingly calm, hardly different from his passive, pacifistic self. should you be nervous on his behalf?
stepping in to the field, you’re overwhelmed by the enormousness of blue lock’s home stadium, the lights shining down on you so brightly that you need a moment to recollect yourself. to think that all these empty seats will be filled with various people scares you mindless; even vacant it was still overwhelming.
“y/n!” isagi’s voice breaks you out of your reverie and he jogs over to you with that friendly smile of his. “what’s up?”
“hey isagi, sei dragged me out of my office,” you grumble before turning around to the white-haired who places your supplies on the ground, instructing him to: “go continue warming up.”
he grumbles something incoherent, leaning in to place a kiss on your forehead before running off, leaving you a little flustered as the dark-haired player waits patiently to talk to you.
“so what’s up?”
“i just needed my ankle to be retaped, is that okay?”
“that is my job so come over,” you say, beckoning isagi to one of the benches nearby where you decide to station yourself for the time being. 
whilst you’re unrolling the adhesive, he awkwardly sits there with his shoe and sock off, exposing his joint where he already you tape it for him. 
“do you want pink or blue tape?” you ask, holding up the two options.
“pink.”
the background noises of athletes shouting and kicking soccer balls fill the silence whilst you cut up the length needed to tape isagi’s ankle.
“how are you and nagi?” he asks.
“we’re good,” you respond, mentally reminding yourself to give isagi a present in exchange for his birthday being the sole reason why your relationship strengthened. “both been busy cause of the season but it’s fine.” 
“that’s okay, you’re making it work!” he reassures, “well, nagi is really happy.”
“is he now?” you ask, looking intently at your hands as they worked around isagi’s ankle, hiding your giddy expression from the soccer player. the effect nagi has on you will never disappear.
“yeah! always talks about you to us.”
“does he?”
“of course, why wouldn’t he? swears you’re the best thing to have happened to him in a long time or whatever.”
your heart warms uncontrollably. nagi seishiro was going to be your downfall. 
finishing up on isagi’s ankle, he tests it out quickly before thanking you and running off again to blend in with his teammates again. ‘don’t work too hard!’ you yell out after him.
after retaping chigiri’s knee, commanding karasu to do his recommended exercises, and other various checkups, the boys are ushered back into the stadium so the audience could begin filing in. before nagi went in, he runs over to you, bundling you in his arms despite the various exclaims of ‘hurry up!’ yelled at your white-haired partner.
“gotta go,” he says breathily.
“wait, shouldn’t you take this off?” you ask, gesturing to your hair tie which sat snugly at his wrist. 
“do i have to?”
“you can always rewear it after the match sei, it’s not a big deal.” 
“fine. i’ll see you soon then.”
you give him a smile of reassurance, hugging him back. “go. i’ll be watching, my superstar.”
his eyes shine. “cheer for me, won’t you?”
“of course i will. i’m your lucky charm,” you tease but he takes your statement quite literally, grinning at what you say which only illuminates the cheery look on his face.
“can my lucky charm give me a kiss?”
cupping his face, you quickly place a peck on his nose before lightly pushing him away. you know the kiss is not good enough to satiate his hunger but perhaps that’s just what you want from him, to try hard for a better reward. and in this case, by trying harder, he would bring home the trophy.
“go line up!” you command. 
nagi grumbles something before stepping away, “i’ll score for you.” 
he dashes towards the stadium entrance, leaving you in a lovesick daze as you watch him retreat. someone clears their throat behind you and you remember where you are, sitting down to preserve some professionalism. 
sitting in the medics corner was scary, especially as you watch every seat getting gradually filled with an onslaught of different people, but all you need to do for the 90 minutes is watch and be attentive to the game and the health of the players. an easy job for the amount of pay you get.
when the teams walks out into the field, everyone in the stands erupt into a roar, waving their various flags and colours. despite the chaos, nagi looks over at you and you blow him a kiss, unsure of whether or not he could actually see you. 
as everything settles down, the match finally begins, starting off with a bang. from time to time you talk with the two other blue lock medics and spend the other moments admiring your boyfriend in his athletic glory.
it’s not until almost halftime that something disastrous happens. when itoshi rin collides face-first into another player, toppling over on the field on top of each other, the crowd erupts into a series of gasps and concerned noises. as the referee’s whistle is called, you three official blue lock staff scramble to the middle of the field where a crowd was gathering around the two, trying to help their soccer players but stepping out of the way when you approach.
“where are you?” one medic begins asking.
“the stadium. we’re in the middle of a match,” comes rin’s gruff tone.
“you are?”
“itoshi rin.”
“how many fingers am i holding up?”
“four.”
“what hurts?”
“my fucking face,” rin snarkily replies, trying to stand up but not making it past his knees as he stumbles a little, holding on to his nose. “shit.”
taking his hand away, there are droplets of red coating his skin and you snake yourself under his arm in order to assist with helping him to the medic’s area, another nurse doing the same. hopefully it’s not serious and he won’t need be to sent to hospital, only benched by ego. which, he was. 
in your panic, you don’t register any of the commotion happening within the players themselves whereas nagi, on the other hand, hears it all clearly. how a player on the team he was playing against says something like ‘look at that cutie. reckon i could cuff ‘em?’ where his friend replies with a ‘yeah dude. seems like a babe to be honest, workin’ as a nurse and shit’, geturing to you.
nagi has never felt such an overwhelming urge to punch someone, to jump the two players and tear them apart with the fury he feels accumulating in his insides.
the whistle to notify that the game was continuing disrupts nagi’s train of thought. he goes back into position but not without snaring at the opposition. 
blue lock seems to be doing fine without their number one player for the remainder of the game; in fact, nagi is practically dominating the whole field as he shoots, earning goals left and right for blue lock. he’s moving with unmatched determination; a blazing kind that you’ve never seen from him despite having seen countless of his games. you wonder what happened to him since rin got injured, where did the calm, unbothered nagi go? why are you kind of scared of your boyfriend right now?
maybe your good luck kiss worked in giving him the boost you predicted.
however, you never could have predicted the huge turnaround that your life would take when nagi’s jealousy gets too ahead of itself. when his urge to show the world whose you are outspeaks his rationality, too caught up in the torments of untamed jealousy. he’s never felt this way before; a carnal desire so inherent that it makes him feel bare.
only you could do this to him.
and only you could fix the ugly monster inside him
when blue lock scores the goal needed to take the trophy home, the stadium is deafening, so loud that you need to cover your ears from the unrestrained passion of fans and watchers alike, the buzz of excitement unmatched. 
nagi is awarded man of the match, taking home a shiny trophy in recognition of his athleticism and remarkable talents. yet the first thing he does when taking his prize is not rush over to his teammates and… do whatever it is that men do, but to run over to where you reside, a possessive and dark look in his eyes. it sends shivers down your spine. 
he sweeps you into his arms, winding you so close that you can feel the body heat radiating from him, even through the fabric of his jersey. the trophy presses against your back.
“can i kiss you?” nagi questions although it sounds more like a demand, especially with that breathy voice due to how much he’s been running around.
short circuiting for a moment, you reply: “but everyone’s watching.”
“let them.”
you’re well aware of the multitude of cameras that may be pointed at you and nagi. if you act stupidly, it will appear on the internet and who knows what repercussions it might bring, are you ready to be thrown into a life of chaos, joining alongside your boyfriend?
the answer is obvious when you take the initiative of kissing him, allowing him to devour you whole: his first act of establishing just exactly who you were to the entire world.
you adore how scandalous this feels.
his second act comes mere minutes later at the exit where paparazzi and media were waiting patiently behind barriers for their star players. this time, instead of leaving alone or with his teammates, there’s an unidentified figure accompanying him, hugged close to his side and proudly wearing his jersey. the very one that boasts ‘NAGI’ along the back. everything descends into chaos. 
an immense feeling of deja vu encompasses you when you recall the day nagi asked you out and the overwhelming lineup of paparazzi and photographers that waited for him outside. it’s different now. you feel confident in your place beside nagi, looking perfect to him in his clothes- as if you were meant to be his.
nagi walks in front of you to use his stature to protect from the greedy eyes of the internet whilst you use your hands to cover your face as best as possible, all to ensure your privacy from those who are going to eat these photos up when they see them. 
and- well, if everyone is going to see them then why not send a little message whilst nagi’s here?
the kiss nagi sneaks on your neck is entirely proprietorial, a clear sign of affection for the whole world to see as he eyes the cameras with a deadly look in his eyes. 
“mine,” he mutters in your ear, sending one last glare over his shoulder before disappearing from their nosiness and intruding flashes.
the cameras can see your hair tie that slips up when his sleeves are tugged too short.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
your notifications are rampant the next morning, mostly because of friends, and ‘#nagi seishiro’ has taken the internet by storm once again.
this feeling of anxiety settling in your stomach will never go away whenever you check social media to see if any of your information has been leaked and by whatever miracle, you’re absolutely relieved to see that nothing drastic has been revealed.
speaking of boyfriend, nagi stirs from where he lays beside you, stretching for a moment before patting the bed in search for your warmth. 
shutting off your phone and putting it down, you watch him try to locate you, unable to stop the smile from stretching at the corner of your lips. he’s adorable. even more so when he has to open one eye because his instincts were failing him.
“oh. why are you awake?” he asks groggily, still adjusting to consciousness. nagi tries to sit up to rest on his elbows only to fail miserably and fall face-first into his lush pillow.
“body clock,” you say. you’ll talk about yesterday later. right now, it was just you and him and the soft glow of the sun saying good morning.
“turn it off and go back to sleep.”
“fine.”
“c’mere,” nagi beckons you over weakly, hands reaching for your figure but falling short due to the enormous size of his bed.
it’s not like nagi to splurge on things but it is like him to splurge on getting the most comfortable bed ever, so when he demands you to fall back asleep, how could you say no when it feels like napping on a cloud? and with your adorable boyfriend? some things in life come too easy.
shuffling back towards him, he’s quick to throw an arm and a leg around you, trapping you in. 
“my body hurts,” whines nagi. “so much.”
“what do you want me to do about that?”
“massage later, please?” 
“is that all i am to you?” you question teasingly whilst rubbing hearts into his skin.
“maybe,” he sings.
astounded, you give him your best look of betrayal. “we’re breaking up.”
“no, don’t do that,” nagi pleads, hugging you closer as if you were going to get up from his vice grip in the first place. “don’t be mean.”
“oh sure because i’m the mean one,” you joke as he burrows his head into your neck. instinctively, your hands card through his hair, extra soft from washing it last night. after a moment of silence, you speak up. “you’re trending again because of me so just remember that what i said about our fame-grabbing relationship was true.”
“i didn’t mean for that to happen. i’m just too good,” he takes his head out of your neck, doe eyes looking up at you with heart wrenching awe. “and i love you too much to hide it.”
you pat his cheek, unable to stop a wide, dreamy smile from appearing on your face. “go back to sleep.”
“‘k. goodnight.” the second nagi’s head hits his pillow, he’s out like a light. 
it’s a little surreal to be wrapped in his embrace like this, to be able to gaze at his features so closely and unabashedly whilst his arms extend to mould you into him. even being as close as humanly possible isn’t enough for nagi who has an unlimited desire for more, at all times. 
if it’s you he wants, then you’ll happily grant it.
the last thing you see before falling into a deep slumber is a hair tie that lies on his bedside table.
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sluttywonwoo · 1 year
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dont mind me ..just thinking about bang chan having a breeding kink
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your first vacation together as a couple and chris had forgotten condoms. he wishes he could go back in time and smack himself across the face.
“i can just go ask the front desk, they probably sell them at the little convenience shop,” he’d reasoned.
“no, it’s not worth it. we don’t really need them,” you pointed out. “i’m on the pill for a reason.”
“are you- are you sure?”
“unless you don’t want to fuck me raw?”
“don’t move, don’t move, don’t move,” chris chants frantically, fingertips digging into your sides to keep you in place.
“can’t i move just a little bit?” you whine, desperate for some friction. it’s taking everything in you not to fuck yourself back on his cock. you just need a little bit of movement, just a little bit to take the edge off—
“no!”
he answers so fast you can’t help but giggle and he whines as he dramatically drapes himself over your frame. you were on all fours but the weight of him causes you to fall flat, pancaking on the mattress beneath him.
“shit, sorry baby.”
“s’okay. didn’t hurt.”
“here, let me…”
he snakes an arm underneath your tummy and hauls you up onto his lap, consequently pushing his cock even deeper inside of you. you both groan as you adjust to the new angle, melting into one another as you try not to think about how good it feels.
“we’re throwing away all of our condoms when we get home,” you say suddenly, breaking the silence.
chris laughs and kisses your shoulder affectionately. “if that’s what you want.”
“it is what i want,” you moan. “it’s so fucking good, chan. can feel every-everything. every vein, every pulse. i can’t wait to feel you filling me up.”
“baby, stop talking,” your boyfriend begs.
“i’m serious!” you whine.
“i know, but-”
it’s like you can’t shut up even if you wanted to. “i want you to cum inside of me so bad… wanna watch it drip out of me and then have it pushed back inside of me with your fingers-”
he claps a hand over your mouth before you can say anything else, making you mumble a muffled “chris?” into his palm.
“you’re gonna make me cum,” he manages to choke out. “you feel so good and the way you’re talking- it, you can’t…” he trails off and uncovers your mouth with a defeated sigh.
it seems you’ve hit a nerve. a very interesting nerve.
“you don’t like the way i’m talking?” you ask with a pout, playing dumb.
“i like it too much,” he admits.
“oh yeah? you have a thing for cumming inside of people?”
“i have a thing for cumming inside of you.”
“you like the idea of me being full of you? making me yours?”
chan’s hips stutter forward and he curses. “you’re doing this on purpose.”
“maybe,” you say with a little bounce on his lap. he’s so close to losing control, you can feel it. “but what are you going to do about it?”
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aviradasa · 1 month
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Hi :) ! I hope you're doing well <3 . I was wondering if you could do some Larry Johnson x chubby!fem!reader hdcns, along with some Sal Fisher ones too ? 🖤 Ily !!
Yesss there is not enough chubby reader on here, and as a chubbier girl myself, I couldn't wait to write this!! And Ilyt 🖤🖤 I hope you enjoy these Lil HCs
Larry and sal x Chubby!Fem!reader HCs
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Separately of course
{Fluff} Warnings: some swearing,mentions of creeps but that's it.
Masterlist
Larry:
Ok, to start, Larry with a Chubby Reader is a match made in heaven
He doesn't care you got a Lil meat on your bones his literal catchphrase is
"Well, there's just more of you to love."
He lives by it.
You will never see him be one of those guys that tells you not to eat something cause 'you gotta lose a few pounds'
Naw he don't give a fuck. It's your body he loves you no matter what.
Also, I've touched on it in the past, but I think Larry is a touchy guy.
Like not even in an inherently sexual way, it's literally just how he shows love
With you, it's all hugs,kisses,cuddles,grabs, and squeezes.
He loves how soft your skin feels even in the spots with bumps or stretchmarks he still loves it.
He would lowkey like to trace your stretchmarks. Or maybe paint them. I could see him turning your stretchmarks into like a cool as lightning piece.
Also, he would love just laying on you. He gets hella comfortable just laying on your thighs.
And if he gets the chance to fall asleep on them. That's it he's out like a light for hours.
But if you move, he will wake up and be like
"Where the fuck are you going?"
He's also your number 1 defender/Protector
cause ain't nobody gonna talk to his girl in a way he don't like.
Someone makes fun of your weight.
Well, now they are insecure about their own.
He's all about treating others how they treat you.
He has and will make a bully insecure the same way they made you insecure, but while he does it, he's talking you up the whole time
Cause you're perfect.
Now, if someone is hitting on you, he's lowkey proud like
"Yeah, my girls, great, and nobody else can have her"
But if they are making you uncomfortable or just downright fetishizing you ( i hate when this happens and if it happens to you to im so sorry)) he's getting you tf outta there, and who knows. He gets feisty he might try to square up with them 😭
He's just really awesome.
He takes care of you and loves you so much
To him, weight doesn't mean shit. He loves you for you. Your personality is what matters to him. And he will always be there for you.
Even if you're feeling insecure, he's pulling you outta that state of mind.
But let's be honest with him, it's almost impossible he never gives you the chance to feel bad about yourself.
He reasures you before you even realize you need it.
Overall, he's just a great boyfriend no matter what size you are
Sal:
Alright, sal is just the sweetest damn thing on earth
You think he gives a FUCK your a Lil Chubby?
Naw
I mean, when he was younger, even he was a little Chubby.
Plus, the guy got his face blown off. He's not the type to judge
He's just happy that he has someone that he loves and that loves him for who he is.
That's what means the most to him
And he does his best to show it.
He's not as touchy as Larry, but he still is big on it, especially farther into your relationship
The more he trusts you, the more it becomes
He lives for your hugs. He finds it really comforting. You're like a little pillow
Like if he wakes up in the night from night terrors or a vision. He will just grab you and pull you into a cuddle
The next morning, you wake up, and you have to poke him to make sure he's just sleeping and not dead
You just have that calming effect on him. idk
He is just always holding you
Your hand,your waist, an arm over your shoulders (if he can reach)
He also does not care about what you eat.
He's just like girl do whatever you want.
If you do wanna lose weight ok just do it responsibly.
Don't hurt yourself in any way.
Honestly, this could go for both him and Larry.
Getting onto the topic of protection
sal is a sassy dude.
especially as an adult. Dude, hit 19 and said fuck it I'm done.
Someone insults you for your weight ok well sal is talking shit on their whole bloodline.
he has a roster of insults he's come up with over the years
And he can be mean as fuck 😭
And the thing is, he doesn't even swear a lot while doing it. He is pulling up with words that even you're just like, "What?"
So just cause they said something to you, he's not only making fun of them but also there intelligence without even trying
Who needs to swing when you have sals attitude.
Now, if someone normally hits on you, he doesn't really care he might wait for them to leave, then chuckle about it with you
But if they are full on like touching you or fetishizing you, he don't let it slide.
He lowkey finds it fun to fuck with creeps.
Like, don't get me wrong, he hates what people do it to you in public, but he just loves the chance to talk his shit
just watching him make fun of them. cheers you up. just cause let's face it
he's 5'8 as an adult, and he's kinda lanky, so watching him make fun of someone bigger than him is hilarious
He has made a dude cry.
It was hilarious. You lowkey forgot the dude had full-on grabbed your ass
But yeah, other than that, Sal just doesn't give a fuck your chubby your a human being and he loves you.
And he always will.
You're also never insecure with him. He lets you know how beautiful and lovely you are and how much he appreciates you.
And you do the same for him
You guys are just the best together 🖤
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Text
Katara is More Patient Then We Give Her Credit for
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Katara has been getting a lot of flak for supposedly being hot headed and getting angry at very minor things. Even those who love Katara seem to accept this as the truth. But it's not. In reality, Katara is simply a female character who owns her rage. And I feel like there are two main components that debunk this notion.
Warning: Long, long post.
1. In the instances where Katara is angry it's either justified or makes sense in context.
The Waterbending Scroll
Katara stole, wouldn't you know it, a waterbending scroll. She practices before giving it to Aang, and fails hard. Then Aang who she's supposed to be teaching, gets it right and explains how to do it. Katara has an outburst.
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Katara: Will you please shut your air-hole! Believe it or not your infunite wisdom gets a little old sometimes. Why don't we just throw the scroll away since you're so naturally gifted!
Why is Katara that mad here? Why did she have an outburst? Because she was carrying the burden of being the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe her whole life. Because her waterbending is the reason Kya died. Because she have been independently studying waterbending her whole life. And now her student is having it all easy and is trying to teach her.
And wouldn't you know it, she realized what she did immediatly. Literally, a second later.
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Katara: Oh my gosh Aang. I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me. But you know what, it won't happen again. Here [the scroll] is yours. I don't wanna have anything to do with it anymore.
She even apologized to Momo. Katara had an isecurity rooted in trauma and pressure. When Aang try to teach her she hit a breaking point and lashed out. And not one second later she's already apologizing.
The Waterbending Master
Katara and Aang are going to see Pakku, the waterbending master. But when Pakku sees she's a girl, he says he won't teach her. This is why Katara gets angry. She flew across seas just to get rejected due Pakku is being a sexist freak. I think we can all agree that being denied something because of sexism is a good reason to get angry. And when Katara realized Pakku won't teach Aang if she'll keep insisting, she drops it abd tells Aang to drop it too.
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However, that doesn't mean she won't study in secret. She deserved to learn waterbending and she knew it. She took the consequences into consideration and decided to not make a fuss.
But of course, they both get caught. Pakku says he will no longer teach Aang, the Avatar who absolutly needs to study and still refuses to teach Katara because he's still sexist. Only then Katara challenges him to a duel. Only when they have nothing to lose. She challenged a sexist prick to a duel, one who shamelessly denied her oppretunity because of her gender.
The Chase
At the start of the episode Katara gently hints Toph to help unpack a camp for the night. This is when she's not tired yet, and shows patience.
Katara: So Toph, usually when setting up camp, we try to divide up the work.
Toph: Hey, don't worry about me. I'm good to go.
Katara (still calmly): Well, actually, what I'm trying to say is, some of us might fetch water while someone else might set up the fire pit or put up the tent. *smiles* Even Momo does his fair share.
Toph (slightly irritated): Katara, I'm fine. I can carry my own weight. I don't need a fire. I've already collected my own food. And look. *earth bends a tent* My tent's all set up.
Katara: Well, that's great for you but we still need to finish-
Toph (loudly): I don't understand. What's the problem here??
Katara: Never mind.
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Katara then goes to apologize. While also attempting to make sure her and Toph are on good terms by having her acknoledge that she wasn't 100 absolutly in the right.
Katara: Hey Toph, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I think we're all just a little tired and getting on each other's nerves.
Toph: Yeah, you do seem pretty tired.
Katara (slightly irrutated): I meant all of us.
Toph: Well, good night.
Katara: Good night.
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By all means, Toph is in the wrong for the sheer refusal for communication. At first Katara calmly explained to her what was needed without even spelling it out. Toph was being passive, so she dropped it. And then she apologizes after doing nothing wrong just so they could be on good terms. Toph was the one being passive agressive. And Katara pretty much let it slide.
This is Katara. The patience she showed right here is her natural, normal self. The rest of the episode is under the context of sleep deprivation and how it's making them all hostile to each other. Including the pacifist Aang. Who's outburst leads Toph to leave. After she does, both Aang and Katara express remorse.
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(Side note: I heard people take issue with the line "The stars sure are beautiful tonight, too bad you can't see them, Toph". It's been interpreted as Katara making fun of Toph for being blind, but it's just another instance in the recurring joke of the Gaang forgetting Toph is blind, and listed as such in the official A:TLA Youtube channel).
The Runaway
Update: This section, especially, is majorly outdated.
The episode has a silly opening where Aang is trained by Toph and Katara. Toph misses and accidently hits Katara with a big rock. After Toph doesn't apologize, it leads into a fight which is absolutly not to be taken seriously, that ends with Aang pointing out that it was supposed to be training.
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It doesn't work as an exapmle for supposed hot-headedness because the reason this whole thing started because Toph hit Katara with a rock and refused to apologize.
But moving on to the real conflict of these episode, Toph scammed someone and Katara makes it clear that they shouldn't do it again, it'll draw attention to them. Aang promises her it won't happen again but.. um.. you know what happened.
Katara, being responsible, told them to quit because they'd potentially get exposed. Toph didn't reach well, telling her to lighten up. Katara rightfully gets angry, because they really might get exposed and Toph is dismissing her like her concerns are nothing. They have a short argument and Toph storms out.
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This is why Katara was angry this episode. Her reasoning for being upset is the Gaang potentially exposing themselves for easy money. That's the conflict.
The Painted Lady
In this episode Katara sees a starving Fire Nation village but Sokka won't allow them to stay due to time limits. So she faked a disease for Appa so they could. Sokka confronts her. At first, she gives up and packs to leave. But since she destroyed the factory that's been polluting the villages water and taking their medicine, the people in charge assumed it was the civilians, and were coming to attack. Sokka and Katara get into a small but intense argument. Important to note, that she doesn't react intensively until Sokka does.
Katara: Well, what was I supposed to do?
Sokka: Leave! Do nothing.
Katara: No! I will never, ever turn my back on people who need me.
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Her anger here doesn't highlight hot-headedness, it highlights compassion. Compassion is one of Katara's core traits. She's angry because she's being angrily demanded to see people suffer and stand by. And she will not tolerate it. She will never, ever turn her back on people who need her.
2. In reality, Katara is defined by her patience and compassion.
What I did here was listing off times where Katara did get angry. But Katara is generally a caring, kind person. Rather if it's cheering up Sokka, going shopping with him after he admitted to feeling useless; if it's pulling Aang out of the Avatar state, putting herself at risk when he's out of control; if it's helping deliver a baby of a stranger; or if it's freeing prisoners of the Fire Nation. She demonstrates impressive patience throughout the show.
The Deserter
In this episode Aang was asked to just control fire. Aang gets irrutated himself at this, but Katara assured him that it's probably for a good reaso. But when his master left, he firebent. He was being extremely careless with his new found Fire Bending and burned Katara's hands.
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Did she...
A. splashed some water at him.
B. Yelled at him.
C. Ran away crying.
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Yeah, she didn't express anger at all. Sokka was who's angry at Aang.
The Desert
The sand benders stole Appa and the Gaang is suck in a desert. Katara demonstrates her patience a lot this episode.
Toph and Aang are arguing about Toph not stopping them.
Aang: You just didn't care! You never liked Appa! You wanted him gone.
Katara: Aang, stop it. You know Toph did all she could. She saved our lives.
Sokka: Who's gonna save our lives now? We'll never make itout of here.
Aang: That's all any of you guys care about, yourselves. You don't care whether Appa is okay or not.
Katara: We're all concerned, but we can't afford to be fighting now.
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Aang accused the Gaang of something horrible. Katara told him to stop, but still understood his anger and calmly explained to him that it's important not to fight in a life threatening situation.
Aang then storms out to look for Appa. Katara's response?
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Katara: We'd better start walking. We're the only people who know about the solar eclipse. We have to get that information to Ba Sing Se.
She didn't get angry, she was rational and thought about the greater good.
After Aang comes back, Katara suggest they should try sleeping, gives the Gaang all of her bending water without drinking herself. And then finds a way to get to Ba Sing Se using the locations of star systems.
The Gaang spots a cloud and mistakes it for Appa. But Katara realizes the potential in a cloud. She tells Aang to fly and bend the water from the cloud so they could drink.
Katara (disappoibted): Wow, there's hardly any in here.
Aang (intensively): I'm sorry, okay? It's a desert cloud, I did all I could. What's anyone else doing? *Points at Katara* What are you doing?
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After dealing with everyone's tireness, Sokka's high nonsense and Aang's attitude, carrying everyone, thinking of possible solutions to ensure they'd all survive, how did she react to Aang accusing her of not doing enough?
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Katara: Trying to keep everyone together. Let's just get moving. We need to head this direction.
And after everything she did for everyone, she pulls Aang out of the Avatar state when he's raging, out of control.
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Katara is not so hot headed.
She's sweet, nurturing and caring. She demonstrated incredible patience and perhaps even saved the Gang's life in The Desert with her resilience. Katara's compassion is her defining trait.
But that doesn't mean she's not a human being – she's allowed to be flawed, and in the moments where she does, she's very remorseful. And in the moments where she doesn't, people will still hold her accoutable for simply feeling a justified emotion.
Does it make you oh-so-hot headed to stand up to a sexist denying her opportunity? To make sure your friends don't destroy your chances to win a war? To not tolerate being told to see people in need and do nothing in a middle if an argument she didn't start? Of course it doesn't.
And other characters are allowed to express anger, to be flawed, in ways that are way worse than Katara without being labelled annoying hot headed by the fandom.
Katara is widly known to be irrational, letting her anger get the better of her, but it's simply not true.
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sourbinnie · 1 year
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☆ overcome.mp3 ☆
/ happy ending /
♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst with a hopeful ending ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> ot8!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> forgiveness doesn't come easy but they already knew that. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> cursing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!
first part -> hyung line | maknae line
a/n: here's the happy ending that i promised and we're done with the series ¡! you can choose which ending you prefer to read.
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chan ✉
staying all alone that night made you process a whole lot of things. mostly how much you loved chan and how much he meant to you for you to give up. but that didn't mean that what he said didn't hurt you and affect you in a way. second chances are not given, they're earned and you wanted for him to prove that. for him to show you that he really wanted this and he wanted it as much as you did.
when he opened the door in the morning to check on you, he didn't expect to still find you in your shared bedroom. even after crying all your tears out, you didn't have the strength to face him because you didn't wanna give in too easily. you were determined to try and make him understand what you felt.
"hey babe. i called but you did not answer." he said simply and you just looked at him taking in his appearance. the bags under his eyes, the clothes that he wore yesterday and the regret in his voice. "i don't even know where to start, i just don't know why i said that and i'm sorry."
"i know. i just needed some time chris, it's okay. well i mean what you said it's not okay but i don't wanna lose what we have." you said as you grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers with his and holding onto them. "but i need you that if something like this happens again, i won't hesitate to walk out the door." 
"i won't take you for granted. i just need one more chance and i'll show you what you truly are worth. i just can't believe i said those things and-." he tried to explain again but you stopped him
"chris. i know and let's try not to repeat that mistake, okay? i'd rather not talk about it because i don't wanna remember but just please know that i'll stay." you said and he sighed as he nodded. he felt like a weight was off his chest but at the same time he knew he had to be better and do better. it hurt to know that he hurt you but this was his chance to fix it.
minho ✉
you knew how he was. he was 100% gonna chase after you left even if you insisted that you wanted to be alone tonight. you still hoped he would come after you anyways, even if it still hurt. even if he found the worst words possible to express his anger, you wanted to see him. it might've been delusional or stupid but you needed to hear him say sorry a few more times.
and there he was, absolutely exhausted from running. leaving his work scene even after winning another show but caring a bit more about saving his relationship than celebrating with his bandmates. you looked at him right in the eye and you could sense regret but you needed to hear from him first.
"baby, love, jagi i'm so fucking sorry." lee minho was on his knees in a public scenery begging for forgiveness. you would've never painted this picture in your mind but here it was right in front of you. "i would do anything for you if i have to. i know i look like a fool and you're probably dying of embarrassment but if you decide to end things, i don't think i'm gonna be able to take it."
"just like i'm not taking what just happened. listen minho and please get up." like he was in your command, he got up immediately. "i don't know what your ex boyfriends/girlfriends were like but i'm not gonna stand the hurtful comments you make. however i'm not gonna let you go but i need some time yeah?" 
"how much time?" you've never seen him so determined yet so desperate at the same time. he really wanted to be with you and it showed but it wasn't enough. actions spoke louder than words and you hoped he would demonstrate that.
"i'll let you know, for now just let me be." you said walking away not before he hugged you tightly and did not let go for a solid minute. you ruffled his hair as you pressed a kiss to his forehead. maybe time would heal the open wounds after all.
changbin ✉
"did you truly feel that way?" you asked when he arrived home from the studio. you were so ready to leave but you needed to know before you did if this was anger speaking or if he truly felt what he said. you were a firm believer that words were spoken for a reason. he sighed and left his things before looking at you, trying to take in the scene that you might just leave him if you didn't say the right things.
"no. i could never feel that way about you even if i wanted to. i was angry and that's not an excuse but i need you to know that the truth is that. take me or leave me, i would rather you be with someone who didn't provoke as much damage as i did tonight." he said and you could see the tears coming out like a cascade. it hurt to see him this way and you didn't know what to do. "love i'm sorry, i know i don't deserve it but would you please stay tonight?" 
"why? what's gonna change?" you asked, crossing your arms as you looked at him. he looked so fragile and broken at the same time. he expected for you to be mad but you just looked disappointed and that hurt even more. "binnie please say anything just to make me wanna stay."
"i love you. i want to be with you so badly even if all my insecurities are telling me no right now, i need you so bad. i know i'm not enough, i know i shouldn't have said any of those words, fuck them, i always wanted you and that's never gonna change." he said wiping his tears away and getting close to you. you didn't take a step back this time as you took in your arms and cried with him. "i won't ever make you feel like that ever again (y/n), please stay."
"okay. i'll stay for tonight but we'll talk in the morning clearly yeah?" you said as he nodded. he needed to make things right this time and not let you down.
hyunjin ✉
you could hear a lot of movement coming from the other side of the door. you thought hyunjin left but it looked like he didn't as you headed towards your kitchen where the noise was coming. he was there doing the dishes, he had done every task that was left unattended before. if that made him think that he was gonna forgive you, then he didn't know you.
"yes i know. it's not enough but i was complaining like an idiot and not doing anything." he said as he sighed looking at you. you were still mad at his comments and it looked like it wasn't gonna be easy for him but then again that's what he loved about you, you stood there proud like you were. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said anything and i don't know what it was that put me in a mood to say that shit to you. it doesn't matter, what matters is you and i hope you know that i will change if i have to because i can't be creating drama like this anymore."
"it's not that jinnie. i usually don't mind putting up with it but today it was too much. your words just hurt me in a way, made me feel like i was worth less than you and them for that matter." you explained and he nodded. he felt like crying but he didn't want to in front of you. he felt hopeless and so fucking sad that he made you feel like this. 
"i know. i'm sorry, you're worth more than i could ever ask for and i don't want you to feel any different. i know it's not easy what you do and i'm gonna help around more because we're a team right? we both need to put in the effort." he said as he got close to you, carefully planting a kiss on your forehead. 
"a team, i like that." you muttered as you gave in to his arms and rested your head on his chest.
jisung ✉
being without jisung was hell but you needed time. even if he tried to contact you in every way that he could, it went ignored for now. it was probably painting the worst image on his mind but one day you showed up back to the apartment you shared together. it surprised you to see him there, sleeping on the couch, you would've thought he was staying at the dorms.
"baby? you're here?" he asked as he opened his eyes and tried to compose himself in front of you. he got up so fast, he almost fell but he tried to put on his best look as he didn't know why you were here. well it was your house but after what happened, he lived there thinking the worst. "babe can we talk?"
"yeah that's why i came here. to give you a chance to explain yourself." you said firmly and it took him by surprise just like your arrival. he wanted a second chance so badly so he decided to look for the best words and to tell you the absolute truth of it all.
"okay. i'm gonna start by saying i'm sorry and letting you know that even if i did fuck up real bad, i still want you and only you more than anyone or anything. i don't think you're difficult and i definitely don't think you're bad. i just said the worst words at the worst time didn't i? now that i'm saying it out loud i don't think i even deserve a second chance. but i'm gonna fight for you every day because i truly believe you're the one (y/n)." he said and he expected not to cry but he still felt the sobs leaving his body anyways.
you welcomed him in your arms as he couldn't stop crying and sighed. jisung wasn't truly mean spirited, he wouldn't say words like that because he meant them you thought. it would take long to heal but you were willing to give him another chance.
"it's okay. we're okay but we still need to talk about it whenever we can yeah?" you said as he responded "yesyesyes" which made you laugh. you wiped his tears away and hoped that things like these wouldn't happen again.
felix ✉
i waited an entire day to text felix again. as much as i was doubting myself, thinking that maybe i am too clingy, there was a part of me hoping he didn't mean it at all. expecting that the worst was just out of anger or fear and not a pure emotion he was feeling so hurtful and devastating. i got an immediate response saying he would come over and before i could respond, he was already at the door.
opening up the door to see a distraught and tired felix was a surprise. it was a competition through your mind telling you that you shouldn't care about what he did but in the end your tender side always won as you took in his appearance. 
"love i'm sorry. i'm so fucking sorry." he repeated over and over as he came in but he didn't just pass through, he fell right into my arms as i held him. "i'm the fucking clingy one, i'm the one who can't be without you and you're not a bother at all. i invited you and every frustration got the best of me and i took it out on the person i love the most and i-."
"i know." i didn't exactly know because there was still this side of me that was deeply hurt by his words. but i was willing to understand where he was coming from and what was happening that led him to get so angry.
"i don't deserve your forgiveness. i don't even deserve to be standing here in front of you or you holding me but please know that i will always be sorry about this." he said looking me in the eye. bloodshot eyes suddenly closing as i leaned in and met him for a kiss. it was a painful one because it felt like a last one but i savoured every moment that i could get with felix. 
"i still want you felix." i said and he closed the gap again as he met me for another kiss. he wanted me as much as i did and sometimes doing something about it spoke louder than a million words.
seungmin ✉
as you unlocked the door of your unshared bedroom, you didn't expect seungmin to be sleeping on the floor on the other side. you crouched down as you slowly poked him to wake him up and that's when he opened his eyes, they were reddish and his hair was a mess. 
"i didn't even notice i fell asleep at the door." he said as you both got up and the tension was still there. you didn't know how to feel and he didn't know what to say exactly. he was convinced you were mad at him but you just looked so sad that it broke him. even when you closed the door and he pretended to walk away, he stayed. he wanted to see you so bad yet every part of him knew that you needed to be alone.
"minnie do you actually want to break up with me?" you asked and you never saw him shake his head so fast. he didn't cry very often but he was willing to cry in front of you if it meant that you would see how sorry he was.
"never in a million years. i know what i said is not okay and that i should've never mentioned it in the first place." he said as he took your hands and looked at you again. "i'm sorry love, i'm sorry for making you feel unappreciated and unloved because that's the thing i want you to feel the least."
"i just thought you were going to leave me when you said that." you sincerely said and if his heart didn't break before, the sight and the words before him were killing his heart slowly.
"no, never. you can't get rid of me that easily baby. i will always stay and tell you the truth." he said as he kissed your cheek and as soon as he placed it, you gave him a little smile that warmed his heart back again. maybe you wouldn't get over this quickly but then again he did not expect that to happen, he would be there in the healing process.
jeongin ✉
he did let you go that night but he insisted that he wanted to talk every minute of the day after it. as much as you thought that you needed time, you needed to see him again before it all crumbled apart. he was there waiting for you in your apartment as you got back from work. who knows how long he had been standing there, looking a mess and hoping for the best.
"(y/n), god i missed you." it filled your heart with so many feelings that you could not express the way he said those words. you were so hurt and you could tell by just looking at him that he wasn't doing well either. he wanted to lean in for a kiss or just have you in his arms again but he contained himself from doing so.
"i missed you too innie. i think we need to talk before... we do anything." you said and he nodded as he stood there awkwardly but he knew it was his turn to talk, to mend things and to make it right this time like he didn't do it that night.
"i'm sorry, i know that it wasn't an okay thing to say. i know exactly why i'm with you and i wouldn't want to be with anyone else in any other way. i want you because you've taught me so much, showed me so much of myself and loved me unconditionally from the start." he was in the verge of tears but he swallowed and continued talking. "i don't think i'm able to be without you, just right now it's been hell."
"i feel the same way, i don't like being apart from you even if i'm mad." you said honestly and he nodded 'cause he felt the same way. "i would like to take things slow, i don't forgive you fully but you're there innie. i wish i could erase the pain but i can't."
"i know, i'll show that i mean it baby. i'll show you how i actually feel." he said and you believed him. you truly did want him to show you what needed to be shown. before he could leave, you hugged him so tight and that's when he let the tears actually go.
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miioouu · 9 months
Note
I think about Camgirl x soap….maybe part 2??
Haha, finally done with university so now i have all the time in the world to think and drool over hot fictional men with you all!!! Here’s part one of this. TW: smut, phone sex, female reader WC: 950 
Weeks pass since you and your favourite fan started talking. Although you've learned a bit about him, never his name “Call me Soap, kitten. Sounds hot when you do” And now you don't have to wonder what he sounds like. If you think his comments in the chat are lewd, you're not ready for the voice messages he leaves you past midnight. 
Breathy whispers, low groans and whines; he told you he has to keep quiet, he shares a room with his colleagues, and yet, he can't help it, it's become a routine for the both of you now. You wait for your screen to light up, a giddy smile on your face when you press the play button “Thought ‘bout you all day long bonnie. Sucked at practice today, my aim’s shitty because of you now, might lose my job because of you, sweet kitty” He always starts the blaming, making you roll your eyes as you bite your lip, waiting in anticipation for what's coming next. The sound of his sheets being shifted under his weight, he hisses when the bed creaks a little too loudly, it makes you giggle the way he blames you some more. “But you'd like that, eh? If I lost my job? You'd love it, all my attention would be on you, not like it's not now…you're always on my mind, those pretty tits of yours. Gosh those perky nipples, wanna suck on ‘em'' His breathing becomes heavy, and so does yours. It doesn't take a genius to know that he's slipping his hand under his boxers, the sound of the elastic softly smacking against his skin is an obvious indicator, and you can't help but join him. “Want my hands all over you, pretty girl. I know you want it too, yeah? So soft I bet. So plush, just want to bite you, and leave my mark on ya.” 
And he blames you again “So far away from me. If you were here, it would be your hand wrapped around my cock, kitty. And if I’m lucky enough maybe it would be your mouth, yeah?” He takes in a sharp breath, and so do you. You exhale shakily as your fingers dip under your cotton panties, sucking your teeth at how wet you are, maybe you should send him a picture? He deserves it after all. The tip of your digits brushing against your twitching clit, and you huff, imagining, and being sure that his hands would feel a lot better; rough and calloused against your soft skin, it would feel like heaven. “Fuck, I can already picture it, bonnie. Those sweet lips of yours, you know I love it when you put on that red lipstick too. Can you imagine it, how it would leave a pretty ring around my dick? So pretty, all yours to taste too.” He hums, the sound of his slick can be faintly heard in the background of the voice message. You drooled at the thought, making you think about how he’d taste. Salty, a little sour maybe? Maybe even with a hint of sweetness, the guy is in shape and cares about his health. If not for the military, for you; the pride that swells in his chest whenever you mention how badly you want to bite his arm, how much you need to lick on his abs. The image alone flusters you. You groan as you push your panties down, they frustrate you as you keep drawing tight circles against your bundle of nerves, trying to match his pace. You know how he likes it too, he’s spoken about it before; “Slow kitty… I like the build up. Slow and nice, not too tightly. And then my mind starts to wander, to you and that silk blue set, and I go crazy. I can’t help it, ok? Wanna know how tight you’d be around me.” 
“Or maybe, if the Gods are on my side, I can feel that pretty cunny of yours, eh? What do you say? I think she’d love me. God, kitty, I wanna stretch you out. Wanna make you cry on it, wanna make you bounce on it, wanna make you cream on it. Gosh kitty, I bet you’d love it. I’d fuck you so good, I promise you I will, so good you’d forget about those silicon toys of yours, they can’t compare. I’ll make it so you can’t think about anyone but me, no one will ever make you feel the way I’ll make you feel sweetheart.”  
His voice is rough and breathless, like he’s slowly descending to madness, slowly ascending to heaven. The rest of his message is the echoing of his groans and shallow breaths, it’s like he’s biting his lip to not let out a too loud noise. He spits on his sensitive tip, letting if ooze down his length and the thought of it alone is making your arch your back. He’s so good at it, he should’ve been the one on the screen, he’d make millions from his voice and heavy accent alone. It’s the repeating whispers of your name that gave him away and pushed you over the edge. You moan out his ‘name’ again, you let it roll out your tongue like a prayer, Goodness, you needed him badly too. He deserves a reward no? The man that got you obsessed and delusional, he deserves a picture of your drenched fingers pulled apart and connected with your juices. He also deserves that last message you sent before completely shutting off your phone to mellow down your excitement and anxiety “Maybe you will feel ‘that pretty cunny’ soon, mmm? What do you think?”
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