#trying to decide which physics terms even apply is COMPLICATED

[eldritchamy]

it turns out trying to come up with realistic scientific terminology for types of magic is kinda hard

[archer3-13]

i find myself drifting over naruto fanfics every once and a while, but recently I was reminded about an observation @agoddamn pointed out to me on the nature of one particular element of narutos "power system". namely seals and sealing, and what the fandom often calls a 'storage seal' and how it actually functions [and how its kinda disappointing in reality compared to the physics bending coding its often portrayed as in fanfiction]. namely that you write the seal, your write the kanji of what you want to store on the seal, and then you seal that object specified by the kanji.

and i kinda put it out of my mind after that, but its reared its head again after reading fics where sealing is presented in ways that the author is trying to subvert cannon ideas on what sealing is. portraying it as poetry, or fluid networks stuff like that. So i decided to take a look again as to what cannon actually describes sealing as.

so imagine my suprise to find out that the common fanon idea of storage seals and explosion seals/tags... aren't actually distinct sealing things.

as far as i remember, having looked into it again, sealing scrolls, as in the unique idea of a scroll that has a specific arrangement of sealing jutsu for sealing things in like a hammer space pocket dimension thats very common in fannon, aren't ever actually mentioned in the manga as a thing. and in fact, in terms of source listing the wiki gives here the name of "enclosing jutsu", is unique to the anime apparently.

regardless though it is admittedly not too much of a leap of logic. as seen above with things like sasukes wrist seals being applied directly to his skin with the kanji within the seal being a component of whats sealed within, the enclosing jutsu becomes a far more almost disappointingly mundane thing then as its often made out as in fannon material. it isnt a 'sealing scroll' with a complex array to create a hammer space written on it [and thus the domain of dedicated specialists/artisans], rather its a scroll with a basic sealing jutsu slapped on top of it that even genin can learn [which makes a lot more sense for tenten, a BUKIJUTSU expert as a recently graduated genin to know even if the anime apparently threw in a thing about her having a talent for fuinjutsu]. it also makes the whole thing more economically viable instead of special inks or complicated production manners, but thats a whole different discussion.

then i was reminded that the enclosing jutsu can also work on... ninjutsu

well this also further demonstrates that the enclosing jutsu is just kinda a common thing for shinobi to learn, enough so anyways that kisame a shinobi that well more intelligent then he seems is also a shinobi that prides himself as a physical fighter kinda type would pick up and use. but thats not the important thing here, what is important is what this tells us about exploding tags.

namely, exploding tags aren't unique sealing arrays to create explosions as again fanon would have you believe/often portrays as. rather an exploding tag, is just an enclosing jutsu used on an explosion.

which ya know, makes a lot more sense when you actually look at an exploding tag and its visual depiction and compare it to an enclosing seal and notice that like an enclosing seal, it has the kanji for what its storing inside it centred at the heart of the seal. literally baku or 'explode'.

heres tenten in the anime storing things in her scrolls for comparisons sake and you can notice that each seal has the kanji for whats stored in it at the centre. truly fanfiction has made fools of us all.

that isn't to say theres no complexity to things, its just things you never really see talked about or expanded upon in fanfiction. which partly speaks to how messy internal continuity often is within naruto as a narrative, but also not the main point.

firstly, fuinjutsu or sealing jutsu seems to be a lot more literal then what people make it out to be in fanfiction. specifically that it is a jutsu for sealing things into other things. in fanfiction for instance people will often have things such as privacy seals as catchall privacy bubbles or barrier seals that erect barriers. as far as the manga alone is concerned these aren't things you can do with sealing jutsu, rather they would likely fall under the category of 'barrier jutsu' which, as we see with kisame sealing ninjutsu into an enclosing seal, can be stored in a seal as seen with the barrier tags but could likely not be created by a sealing jutsu alone

for an example of what barrier ninjutsu can do incidentally, consider the barrier that the sound four erected around orochimaru and hiruzens fight

this brings us to the next important factor which is the squiggly lines seen in relation to all fuinjutsu. one would think these are, if we accept that these aren't just squiggles kishimoto threw on to make the seals look cool, unique to the function of fuinjutsu. they aren't however, because we also see these squiggly lines used in relation to other jutsu. the summoning technique for instance which is, officially, not classified as fuinjutsu but rather ninjutsu

we also see these squiggly lines used in relation to medical jutsu, importantly in my opinion when neji is getting surgery post sasuke retrieval mission and when tsunade is using long distance healing on people with katsuya during peins invasion of konoha

this i think suggests that the squiggly lines themselves are not what constitutes or helps constitute what sealing jutsu is. certainly i would say its an important factor, but it seems to be applicable in other branches of jutsu as well. therefore that suggests that these 'chakra arrays' as it were are not applications of fuinjutsu but rather fuinjutsu is a specific application of these chakra arrays, with the arrays themselves being techniques to control and apply chakra in specific ways. tsunades long range healing array sending the chakra outwards like a radio signal for instance, moulding it into what it needs to do and where it needs to go.

so what is essential to fuinjutsu outside of 'it seals something within another thing'. at first i was tempted to say kanji but then i nejis surgery and another thing ill mention came to mind, but then i remembered that an important aspect of fuinjutsu seems to be how it can interact with other jutsu such as storing ninjutsu. and nejis surgery is suppose to be a complicated risky one so combining different jutsu to achieve the desired effect seems reasonable. and kanji seemed the most likely culprit as to what was essential to sealing, despite not all seals looking initially like kanji, because

a] seals often change shape especially the more powerful or complicated ones. considering seals mainly function in the literal sense of sealing things within other things, i think it makes sense that you can seal seals within seals or the full complexity of a seal within itself.

and also b] one of the most distinctive seals we see actually being applied in real time is the five elements unseal, which is still fuinjutsu cause its about unsealing things from within other things, and what features prominently in the fire elements unseal?

kanji for the five elements. so were done right? seals are about applying kanji with chakra arrays to seal things within other things? only were not because we also have to acknowledge danzo and the unique seals he uses.

these dont look anything like any other seal we see in naruto. at most the second 'self cursing seal' share similarities with orochimarus curse marks [which apparently aren't officially classified as seals, but i feel would atleast in part fall under a fuinjutsu classification], but even then as i noted seals seem to store parts of themselves internally all the time before expanding [including hypothetically whatever kanji is being used to fuel the seal].

but the naruto wiki provided an interesting alternative. chinese hexagrammic symbols. i wont claim to be an expert on them, but the important factor to know is that hexagrams are formed by combining the eight trigrams [the bars that ya sometimes see combined with the yin yang symbol as part of the ba gua which represents physical reality, and which mean their own individual things] to create new symbology and meanings as part of a taoist belief system. the important thing being how each hexagram can represent both a number and a word. meaning in essence, danzos unique sealing method [outside of being cryptic as hexagrams are intentionally designed to be cryptic] is also still rooted in language just a more chinese influenced spin on things. even danzos final deadman seal the reverse four symbol seal seems to be based on that same principle only instead of hexagrams it uses the si xiang which are also derived from yin and yang and part of the ba gua. only instead of the trigrams 3 bars the si xiang only use two bars.

and as already noted, seals especially complicated ones seem to store parts of themselves within themselves. so overall, what seems to be essential to sealing is combining language with the universally applicable array lines to derive functions. language being the most important point in this matter when it comes to sealing itself.

also as a side note, narutos own seal is also named after the eight trigrams but visually does not use the trigrams and instead uses the standard for naruto chakra arrays and symbols.

and for some bonus information on sealing

the concept of even and odd seals, and how those apparently dont mix causing interference with each others function. what exactly it means by even and odd never really gets expanded on as this is more a quick fix moment, but given the seal interrupting narutos EIGHT trigrams seal is a rough FIVE elements seal, would suggest that seals not only can but should [atleast at a complex level] have distinct points or parts in their constructions.

[mutable-manifestation]

Hello, I’m Ameera a 23 years old Muslim lesbian who is trying to come out, I’ve been in the closet with my girlfriend for way too long, because of how dangerous and hard it is to come out as a lesbian to a religious Muslim family, but me and my girlfriend have decided to do whatever it takes and risk it all to come out, do you mind supporting and encouraging us?, though I know we all have what we dealing with, so I’m not imposing we just need all the support and encouragement we can get, check my pinned post for more information on how you can support, if you are a Muslim queer and you are out, please help with tips on how to make it less complicated, any word of advice is also really needed, we really wanna come out but we need y’all 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ pride please come through for us, I believe pride is for all

Hi Ameera!

I saw on one of your other posts that you already have an exit strategy and are prepared to move out and cut contact should that be necessary for your safety, so I don't see any reason why you shouldn't come out if it's what you want!

I shall be wishing for your family to surprise you with acceptance and support, and for your contingencies to be unnecessary.

I am a Christian rather than a Muslim, so I can't speak to the specifics of your situation, but - if you haven't already - I'd recommend looking into what your religious text(s?) say about the LGBT+ community.

The first thing I did when I realized I was a lesbian was research.

The most I'd ever heard about gay people growing up was "gay marriage bad >:(" and even that only seemed to crop up around when gay marriage beginning to get legalized, so I looked into all of the relevant verses and tried to reconcile my sexuality with my faith.

I didn't want to go looking for validation, I just wanted answers, information, so I could gather my thoughts from there. So I looked at both sides.

The arguments I found that explained the bible as not against LGBT+ were all rooted in study and logic - meanings of words that were oversimplified in translation, historical contexts that I had been lacking prior, etc. All of it was rooted in trying to understand the original texts as and when they were written.

The arguments against LGBT+ all seemed to parrot the modern bible and "homosexuality is a sin" with no other arguments - or at least, no other arguments that could be applied only to homosexual people (example: "but gay couples can't have children!!!" yeah okay neither can infertile/sterile people and they can still get married/it isn't a sin for them to be in relationships). They were also all written with a hostile, hateful undertone (or overtone in some cases). Which. Christians are supposed to be known for our love, so any rhetoric based in hatred... and not even logic to back it? yeah. No.

The arguments explaining gay = okay were all based in love, compassion, and understanding - in logic and research.

So.

It was easy enough for me to reconcile my faith and my sexuality because, as it happens, there was nothing incompatible about the two!

(To any side b or x christians who may read this: this isn't an invite to debate, you literally cannot change my mind and also I will simply block you. This is not my Theological Discussions account)

I'm not quite sure how Islam sees the LGBT+ community in terms of religious rhetoric - from my (very) brief research the only thing I could find was a quote or two about Sodom and Gomorrah, which I've seen plenty of break-downs regarding, though what the Quran (or other Islamic texts?) says may differ.

Once you've done your research and come to terms with the information as needed (again, if you haven't already), I'd write a list of common questions and arguments you're family might make and come up with responses.

I don't know your family. They may shut down and simply tell you to get out and never return. (the worst case scenario [I hope - I don't know your family but if you think there is any possibility of physical violence I would definitely recommend either a video call - so you can see facial expressions - or staying near an exit while coming out])

They might ask you for space to think (okay scenario - kinda in limbo here).

They may surprise you with acceptance (best case scenario)

But they may ask questions and try to argue (middling case scenario).

They may ask things like why you're gay, argue that it's against your religion, etc. In this case, you have a chance to talk them into being supportive.

So.

Lists.

Brainstorm questions with your girlfriend - as many as you both can think of - and go through them. A lot of answers will be easy, some you might need to think more about/do research on (at least, that's my experience). But at least you'll both be armed with all the information you might need in the middling scenario (and it makes it harder for them to make you doubt yourselves, if that's something either of you might struggle with).

Of course, if you've already accepted the possible need to cut contact and gotten ready to move out you might've already thought of all this. Still, I hope this has been of at least some help to you, even if that's just by serving as a reminder that you aren't alone in this and that there's a community out here that supports you.

I'll be wishing you luck; I hope both you and your girlfriend get the best case scenario :)

[dog-braces]

Why a Dog Knee Brace Is More Than Just a Short-Term Fix for Your Pup

When Bella, a playful Labrador, started limping after her daily walks, her owner, Sarah, was devastated. She thought it was just a sprain, but after a trip to the vet, she learned Bella had a torn ACL. Sarah’s heart sank, knowing surgery was expensive and recovery would take months. That’s when the vet suggested a dog knee brace—a non-invasive solution that would provide support without the need for surgery. Skeptical at first, Sarah decided to try it. To her surprise, Bella’s mobility improved, and within weeks, she was walking, running, and playing without the pain she’d been experiencing. Sarah quickly realized that a dog knee brace wasn’t just a short-term fix—it was a long-term solution that would benefit Bella’s overall well-being.

What Most People Don’t Know About Dog Knee Braces

Many dog owners think of a dog knee brace as a quick fix to alleviate immediate discomfort. While it's true that these braces can help in the short term, they offer much more than that. Dog braces, especially custom ones, play an essential role in long-term joint health, rehabilitation, and prevention of further injury. Here's why:

Supporting Healing and Preventing Re-injury A dog knee brace is designed to stabilize the joint, allowing your pet’s body to heal naturally. This support helps to reduce the stress on the damaged ligaments or muscles. For dogs recovering from surgery or injury, this constant support can prevent re-injury, speeding up recovery time and reducing the risk of complications. According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, proper rehabilitation—such as using knee braces for dogs—can improve recovery outcomes by 40% in joint injuries.

Custom Braces Provide Individualized Support A custom dog knee brace doesn’t just conform to your dog’s size; it’s tailored to their specific injury. While off-the-shelf braces may offer general support, customized braces are designed to target the exact location of the injury and apply the right amount of pressure. This specialized support can significantly reduce the discomfort that comes with movement, improving your dog’s mobility long-term.

Maintaining Mobility in Older Dogs As dogs age, they often develop arthritis or joint degeneration, which leads to pain and a reduction in activity levels. A dog knee brace can help manage this condition by stabilizing the knee and reducing stress on the joint. In fact, studies have shown that joint braces can improve mobility in senior dogs by over 50%. This means your pup can remain active and enjoy walks, playtime, and even longer outdoor adventures as they age.

Prevention Is Key Preventing future injuries is another underrated benefit of using a knee brace for dogs. For breeds prone to joint problems, like German Shepherds or Bulldogs, a knee brace can serve as a preventive measure. By stabilizing the knee joint during play or exercise, the brace can prevent stress and strain that may lead to ACL tears or other ligament injuries.

Enhanced Comfort and Quality of Life Braces don’t just address the physical needs of your dog; they also enhance their quality of life. By providing consistent, gentle support, a knee brace can reduce the pain and discomfort that comes from daily activities. Dogs who wear knee braces tend to show increased activity levels and a greater willingness to play. This not only helps them physically but also mentally, as they can maintain their usual routines and interactions with their families.

Conclusion

Dog knee braces are more than just a short-term fix for an injured or recovering dog—they’re a valuable tool for enhancing your pet’s mobility, supporting long-term joint health, and preventing future injuries. Whether your dog is recovering from surgery or simply aging gracefully, investing in a quality dog knee brace is one of the best decisions you can make for their health and happiness. So, the next time your pup limps, remember that a knee brace might just be the solution that gives them a long, comfortable life.

[wixelt]

alright so I mainly had this idea for reasons involving Grian and Scar at Toad Tower, but it got kinda complicated so I figured I'd just take an ask to lay out the idea

So you've said that not only Xisuma but also Grian is depowered currently l, but not why Grian is depowered. Most would consider being a Watcher inherent. You may already have ideas for why that is and it doesn't really play into this idea so that can be saved for later.

The idea goes as follows: Hermits that either have as divine level of power or derive power from a divine source have their powers limited to very basic abilities in Amphibia. These reasons vary from inability to comune with the patron to having them stripped.

However.

With the exception of admin access or Gem's reality hopping, the abilities can be strengthened by the gems.

Proximity to them, how many of the three are nearby, how much the power the gem wielder is currently drawing on, all effect how much the limitations are brought off a hermit.

Two stone wielders in close proximity may only at most be enough for certain hermits to manifest wings for a short period of gliding, while three gems in near proximity with a fully active synergy stack may mean a few of the stronger, winged hermits can help the girls in pushing the moon to make up for the hermit caused power creep that even the final gambit is probably going to be effected by. (Maybe the core took Tango's idea of blowing the moon off course with TNT and decided to run with it, making the thing crash faster, plus some defences amped by hermit tech)

I'm going to give my thoughts as I read through this again, but i'll say now that this is a fun concept & has got me thinking about when it would & wouldn't apply.

My thought with Grian being depowered was mostly due to the fact the implied full extent of Watcher powers - even if you see Grian as weaker for his physical presence - would be a bit of a story breaker. Same with X's admin access or whatever Scar/Cub has going with the Vex. These are things they need to have limited/restricted access to outside their control for the AU to not be over instantly.

The idea there's some divine power lockout on Amphibia & its "neighbouring" realities is interesting, & would track well as a blanket explanation that doesn't require a bespoke reason for each Hermit's abilities being on the fritz (with an exception in Gem's, which have an established reason for not working). Who knows, maybe its even a restriction put in place by the Guardian to stop the Core getting any ideas about gaining true divinity without having earned it.

It explains why any divine power or even very strong non-divine powers don't work well, & why - aside from Andrias just being a dick & giving him bad info to slow him down - X can't do admin things, as he needs the local god's permission & it isn't in the Guardian's best interests to pick up the phone right now.

The Calamity Gems, though...

They're a conduit to the Guardian's power. A sort of "spell focus", in D&D terms, via the same energy keeping things on lockdown. And through proximity to it, a gap in the restriction opens that lets certain Hermits do at least a little of their usual personal ability.

Its passive, though. The Hermits don't have the knowledge nor ability - with a few exceptions - to harness the gems, so its only when they or their power's in active use that the door opens a bit & something comes through.

As False doesn't appear to have divine abilities or magic powers - she has plenty of combat, survival & scientific skills, but divinity isn't something she can claim unless her Season 9 lore takes a dramatic turn - the first Hermit to notice this is Grian, who - whilst trying to help False & Anne combat a certain veggie monster at the start of Season 2, witnesses the beast crush the Plantar household, causing Anne to snap, her eyes flashing blue...

...at which point Grian - though only briefly - feels his incredibly dampened Watcher abilities flare within him. For a split second the awareness that brings staggers him, unexpected as it was, & rather than surveying widely he instinctively jumps to his connection with his sister. He gets enough incoherentness back down the line to know Pearl's not doing great, before his power fades again.

Not a lot, but once more Hermits are around while the stones are in use later... it starts to make a little more sense.

But as the gems are charged & over time Anne grows in strength - not to say anything of Marcy & Sasha - the gems' effects become obvious.

When Anne snaps again in True Colors, multiple Hermits feel enough power well up to aid her in combating Andrias - a good thing when he's otherwise developed countermeasures to a lot of the things he's seen them do - & things descend into chaos.

Throughout Season 3, its much the same on Earth, though as I lack a full list of Hermits present with Anne in that time its unclear for now what specifically goes down. Again not saying anything of the other two in the Calamity Trio, as how much power they touch before the finale's an undecided element.

Come The Hardest Thing, though... hoo boy, the Core's increased preparedness due to the Hermit snowball - definitely taking a page from Tango's book, to his horror - means they're going to need the three-gem sized hole in the lockout the trio's synergy provides.

And again not saying anything of what that hole allows Xisuma to do afterwards...

[homoose]

Love Has a Learning Curve: epilogue (reader)

Summary: An early morning, a doctor’s appointment, a new beginning.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: pregnancy (including like… probably incorrect math and science but my degree was in English and this is fanfiction okay)

Word count: 2.7k

a/n: I’m actually so emotional don’t look at me thanks ♥️

Series Masterlist

———

The sound of Spencer’s ringtone pierced through the early morning quiet, shrill and disconsolate. Y/N hummed against his chest, shifting as he clumsily reached across to the bedside table to answer it. 

“Hey,” he croaked, voice still smothered in sleep. “Mm... When?” He paused, and she could almost make out the answer on the other end. “Got it. Yeah.” 

He carefully set the phone back on the bedside table, and then his arms came around her shoulders. He let out a long sigh, the one she’d gotten quite used to over the last year and a half— the one that meant he had to go. She squeezed him around the middle and let out her own sigh. “Case?”

“Yeah.” He ran light fingers down her arm. “Jet’s taking off in ninety minutes.”

She glanced at the bedside table to the alarm clock that read 4:57am. They both knew he needed to leave within the next half hour if he was going to make it on time, but neither one made any effort to move. Instead, they breathed together in the pre-dawn stillness— a single moment of peace before the world and all its ugliness could crash through the fortress they’d constructed around their space and around each other.

“I don’t wanna go,” he whispered. 

“I know.” She pressed a kiss over his heart through his t-shirt. “I know.”

“I’m gonna miss everything,” he lamented. “Appointments, and milestones, and firsts, and I— I’m gonna miss all of it.”

She lifted her head at the tears in his voice. “Hey.” She shifted in the circle of his arms to prop herself up on his chest. “You’re not gonna miss all of it. You’ll miss this one appointment. And it’s— it’s not even an important one,” she assured, gentle fingers swiping away the lone tear that had managed to escape over his lash line. 

“Yes, it is.” He shook his head. “They're all important.”

She gave him a sympathetic smile, leaning forward to press a quick peck to his lips before sitting up and deciding to reassure him in the only way she knew how. “Okay, doctor. Eleven weeks. Tell me what we’re gonna find out today.” 

She pulled him up out of bed, interlacing their fingers and pressing their shoulders together. As she led him to the bathroom, he explained, “Dr. Layton will do the first ultrasound, and Baby will look more like a baby now. At around ten weeks they made the transition from embryo to fetus. They’ll be about two inches long.” 

She handed him his toothbrush and turned to grab his toiletry go-back from the linen closet, stifling a yawn. “Mmhm. What else?”

“Did you know they’re breathing now?” he asked, and she smiled at the way the excitement crept into his voice. “Between weeks ten and eleven, the fetus starts to inhale and exhale small amounts of amniotic fluid, which aids in the development of their lungs. It’s kind of like they’re breathing underwater.” 

“I didn’t know that,” she admitted, turning back to set the bag on the counter. “That’s pretty amazing. What about the heartbeat?”

He nodded vigorously as he applied toothpaste to the bristles of his brush. “We should be able to hear it, although sometimes it’s too early— depending on the accuracy of the estimated date of conception.”

He ran the water over the toothbrush before popping it into his mouth. She kissed his shoulder and then moved back into the bedroom, shuffling into their closet for his go bag. She checked it over on her way back to the bathroom, ensuring it had been fully repacked after the last case. She set it on the counter and placed his toiletry bag inside, leaving it open for him to pack his toothbrush and then sitting on the closed toilet lid. 

He rinsed his mouth and put his travel cap over the head of his toothbrush, gesturing with it and then dropping it into the bag. “They’ll do some routine lab work to test for things like gestational diabetes, and we can also choose to do additional screeners for chromosomal abnormalities and possible complications.” He looked at her then, and she saw the despondence creeping back in. “I should really be there, just— just in case.”

“Honey.” She stood and held out her hand to him, smiling a little when he accepted it with a squeeze. “It’s gonna be okay.” 

He let out a breath and pulled her into his arms, and they held each other in the silence, the soft light from the vanity washing over them. His phone buzzed with an incoming message, and she knew he needed to get on the road. Still, she held him for a second longer, and then they shuffled through the door and into the bedroom together. 

Y/N made her way back to bed, scooting down under the duvet to preserve the last remaining notes of his body warmth. She watched as he dressed silently, pulling on trousers, socks, a button up and cardigan. He skipped the tie in favor of coming to sit on the bed, bringing his hand to rest lightly over top of her belly over the covers. 

She covered his hand with her own and laced their fingers together. “Maybe you could ask Luke if you can FaceTime with his phone. You can probably take twenty minutes, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.” He rubbed a tired hand over his face. “Maybe I should just upgrade my own phone.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Oh, I see how it is. Couldn’t upgrade for me, but once a baby comes along you’re ready for an iPhone.” 

“That’s not— you— you shouldn’t have to do all of this alone,” he huffed, and she realized her joke didn’t land when his voice cracked at the end. 

“Spence, I’m— I’m just teasing.” She lifted her hands to his face, pulling him closer and meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry; you’re upset, and that wasn’t nice.” 

She leaned up to kiss his forehead, letting her lips linger and breathing him in. “But I’m not alone. With you, I feel— the opposite of alone.”

“Irritated?” he offered. 

“No,” she laughed. “Supported, and cared for, and loved,” she corrected with a smile. “You’ve been all of that since day one. And I know that’s not going to change, whether you’re physically present in that doctor's office or not. Right?” 

When he nodded, she continued, “I love you. The most. And you are easily the best baby daddy on planet earth. Okay?”

The term of endearment dragged a smile from him, as it always did. “Okay.”

She leaned forward to press her lips to his, both sets upturned and a little dry from sleep. “Now, you need to go, or you’re gonna be late.”

“I know.” He kissed her again, long and slow, and then pulled back to lean their foreheads together. He hesitated for another ten seconds before standing to grab his bag from the bathroom. 

When he re-emerged, she reminded him, “Ask Luke about the FaceTime thing. I’m sure he won’t mind, and we can trust him to keep the secret. The appointment technically starts at 1:00, but I probably won’t be seen until at least 1:30.”

He crossed to give her another kiss. “I love you.” He crouched to press a kiss to her tummy. “And you.”

“We love you, too,” she smiled, fingers tangling in his curls. “And we’ll talk to you in a few hours.”

She kissed him one more time— couldn’t help herself. And then his warmth was gone from the bed, and the house was suddenly much too quiet. She snuggled back down under the duvet, her head on his pillow and the scent of his shampoo shrouding her senses and easing her mind.

Spencer really was supportive— endlessly so. Not overbearing, but interested and involved in every moment: reading all the newest research, bringing home her favorite treats, writing out a color-coded timeline of all the appointments and milestones. She wasn’t lying when she called him the best baby daddy. He was always there for her. So much so that the apprehension she’d had at the beginning of this surprise journey was nowhere to be found. 

As she drifted back into sleep, there he was again— she could almost hear the jangling of his keys in the bowl in the entryway, his feet on the stairs, the rustling of his pants and sweater being discarded onto the floor of their bedroom. 

And then she felt the warmth of his palm low over her tummy, coming to rest over the barely-there bump. She felt his lips on her shoulder and his chest pressed against her back. When she went to cover his hand with her own, her exhausted brain registered that it wasn’t a dream at all.

She turned her head, blinking her eyes open to see him smiling at her and drew her brows together. “What’s going on?”

He pressed another kiss to her shoulder, snuggling even closer and rubbing his thumb along her belly. “I’m, um— I told Emily I’m gonna consult from home on this one.”

…

“Okay, Mom, this’ll just be a little bit cold.”

Dr. Layton smoothed the gel over Y/N’s lower abdomen, and Spencer moved to thread their fingers together, shifting to stand even closer to the examination table. The ultrasound machine gave off a low hum as the doctor adjusted the wand over her tummy. She felt Spencer press a kiss to her temple and turned to smile brightly at him before turning back to the black and white screen. 

At her first appointment five weeks ago, she’d been by herself— alone and uncertain and terrified— and she’d declined the option of the ultrasound. It felt wrong to see the baby before Spencer even knew about them. Now, together with him, with her soon-to-be husband— she was more than ready to see their baby for the first time. And she could practically feel Spencer’s excitement next to her, his body nearly vibrating with it. 

“Ah, here they are. Hello, Baby Reid.” Dr. Layton pointed to a small, white figure on the screen. “Okay, right here, you can see their big ol’ head— perfectly normal size for this stage of development,” she assured, eyes deftly scanning the image in front of her. “Everything looks great! Now, I’m just trying to find…” 

She adjusted the wand over Y/N’s tummy, and suddenly a wub wub wub came over the tinny speaker of the machine. “There we are,” Dr. Layton smiled. “Very strong heartbeat.”

Spencer squeezed Y/N’s hand, and she felt the drop of a tear on her shoulder. She brought her other hand over to cover their tangled fingers, rubbing her thumb along the skin of his wrist and kissing his arm. 

Dr. Layton made a slightly perplexed humming sound, moving the wand again and losing the sound of the heartbeat, only to pick it up again— this time slightly faster. Y/N’s own heart stuttered a little as the doctor moved the wand again twice more, and then cleared her throat. “Is something— is everything okay?”

She turned to Y/N with a kind smile. “Yes, yes,” she confirmed, and then she raised her eyebrows. “Just— do you hear the difference?” 

Spencer tilted his head in consideration, drawing his brows together and straining to hear. The doctor shifted the wand once more, allowing them to hear the two distinct patterns. 

Two distinct patterns, Y/N realized. 

Dr. Layton pressed the wand a little more firmly into her abdomen, moved it just slightly. “Those are two different heartbeats.” She pointed to the screen. “And those are two different babies. There’s a matching set of Baby Reids in there.”

Y/N couldn’t stop her jaw from dropping. “Is there—” She turned to Spencer incredulously. “Do twins run in your family?”

He shook his head silently, eyes wide. “Yours?”

“Nope,” she squeaked. 

“This obviously changes things slightly,” Dr. Layton explained, cleaning up the residual gel. “I’d like to see you every three weeks rather than every four. Then at twenty eight weeks, we’ll see how we feel, okay?” 

She smiled gently as Y/N and Spencer nodded dumbly. She removed her gloves and stood. “I’m going to give you two a few minutes. I’ll be back with your photos in a bit, and we can talk about any questions you might have.”

The door closed behind her, and the room was bathed in silence. Y/N sat up carefully and swung her legs over the side of the examination table. She looked down at her tiny, unassuming bump and felt a tear slip over her lashes. 

“Are you— are you okay?” Spencer whispered. 

She brought her gaze to his, found them teeming with barely restrained joy and yet the ever-present worry. “Well,” she started. “I, um— I always imagined two kids.” She brought her hands up to her sweaty cheeks and held her own face between her palms. “I guess this is— you know— just a quicker way to get there.”

Spencer immediately wrapped her in a hug, pressing kisses over her hair, her forehead, her shocked mouth. “Two babies. We’re having two babies.”

“Twins, Spence,” she breathed. “Twins.”

He replaced her hands with his own, cradling her face and kissing her sweetly, sighing all of his joy and adoration into her mouth. “I love you. So much. The most.” He lowered himself to press his lips to her belly. “All of you.”

She used gentle hands in his hair to tilt his face up, meeting his smile with a watery one of her own. “We love you, too, baby daddy.”

She could see the gears turning as he stood, his hands coming to rest on her hips. “About that.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Yes?”

“Do you, um— how difficult do you think it would be to get everyone together this weekend?”

She paused. “You wanna get married this weekend?”

“Yeah, that’s probably too soon, huh?” He huffed out a sigh, then his eyebrows shot up. “Oh, what about next weekend?”

“That’s just as soon!” she laughed. 

He furrowed his brow. “No, it’s not. There's a seven day difference.”

“You’re really in a rush, huh?” she teased. 

“Well. I just— I figure you should really be on my insurance anyway,” he reasoned. “Especially now that it’s— now that it’s twins.”

“Mm, yes, I’m sure that’s the reason,” she grinned.

He let out a long breath, and she watched his eyes journey over her face— memorizing every curve and angle, every new wrinkle, every last inch of her. And she knew the reason. 

“I know it’s just a piece of paper,” he murmured. “It doesn’t really change anything, but…” He used gentle fingers to brush her hair back from her face. “I just… really want to be your husband.”

She took her own minute to memorize the way he looked in this moment: her fiancé, the father of her children, the best man she’d ever known, the absolute love of her life. And she knew her own reason. 

“The paper might not change anything,” she agreed. “But— you’ve changed everything.”

He squeezed her hips. “In a good way I hope.”

“The best way.” She brought her hands to his face, rubbing her thumbs along his cheeks. “The best way.”

He closed the distance between them to kiss her with all the honey and magic and reverence he always did. He broke away to lean his forehead against hers with all the warmth and devotion and love he always did. She sighed, and it was all joy and vulnerability and contentment like it always was. And she knew their reasons. 

She kissed him again, and then murmured against his lips, “You know I’m still gonna refer to you as baby daddy, right?”

The laugh erupted from his chest and wrapped itself around her heart, tying tight and secure— a shield, and a haven, and a refuge— keeping her safe from every terrible thing. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

…

O no! Love is an ever-fixed mark 

That looks on tempests and is never shaken; 

It is the star to every wandering bark, 

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

- William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

———

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[my-bated-breath]

Research Shows Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic (part 2)

Anti-Zutara arguments: Zuko and Katara hold such a deep and meaningful platonic bond that should it ever turn into a romantic one, their relationship would be automatically ruined.

Me, with my 3.8k meta that cites a research paper on relationships: Are you sure about that.

And with that (not) academically appropriate introduction, I present part 2 of my meta “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic,” where I use research on emotional intimacy to demonstrate that Zutara is more than capable of transitioning into a romance. Still, that claim in itself presents a rather complicated question: What is the transition between friendship to romance, and how is it achieved?

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” is a research paper by Arizona State University professors Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau that sets out to answer this. In their paper, Guerrero and Mongeau explore a multitude of aspects regarding relationship development, but part 1 and part 2 of this meta will focus on their research on stages of intimacy.

_____

Excerpt from “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic” (part 1)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect both platonic and romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Self-disclosure: a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

_____

Part 1 of this meta (click for the link) proves how Zuko and Katara achieve the “initial stages of intimacy,” including perceived similarities, pair rapport, and self-disclosure, which are common to both platonic and romantic relationships (and seen often in transitioning relationships). And because I have no self-control, I promised a part 2 that shows how Zutara fulfills the latter stages of intimacy as well, in which intimacy is based more on cognition than communication.

(Note: I had taken the burden of proof too seriously in part 1, and thus that meta delves (far too) deep into the intricacies of Zuko and Katara’s backstories, character arcs, and dialogue. This meta will be significantly less heavy-handed on the analysis because we already have 3,800 words of that and that’s more than enough).

So with that taken care of, let’s begin.

Role-taking

Definition: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship.

After Zuko’s choice in the Crossroads of Destiny, his relationship with Katara becomes tenser until it reaches a breaking point in The Southern Raiders, where the following exchange occurs:

_____

The Southern Raiders Dialogue

Zuko: This isn't fair! Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you?

Katara: Oh, everyone trusts you now! I was the first person to trust you! Remember, back in Ba Sing Se. And you turned around and betrayed me, betrayed all of us!

_____

Although Katara is angry in this scene, her open communication and Zuko’s empathy with her (established in the Crystal Catacombs) allows him to understand Katara’s perspective, to understand that he is the one at fault, and to understand that he has to be the one to make amends.

Zuko: What can I do to make it up to you?

Then, throughout the Southern Raiders, there is an inherent understanding between the two that Zuko is only a guide to track down her mother’s killer while Katara is the decider of this man’s fate. Their roles are evidenced by Zuko providing Katara with information (as seen in the left screenshot) and Katara acting with the information given (as seen in the right screenshot, where Zuko asks Katara if she is ready).

Left screenshot -

Zuko: I know who killed your mother, and I'm going to help you find him.

Right screenshot -

Zuko: This is it, Katara. Are you ready to face him?

However, Zuko is not the only one to perceive and accept the other party’s role within their relationship. Having decided to fight Azula alongside Zuko the day before Sozin’s Comet, Katara is in disbelief when Zuko accepts an Agni Kai with Azula, one on one.

Katara: What are you doing? She's playing you. She knows she can't take us both, so she's trying to separate us.

Zuko: I know. But I can take her this time.

Katara: But even you admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula.

Zuko: There's something off about her; I can't explain it but she's slipping. And this way, no one else has to get hurt.

Still, Katara nods, empathizing with Zuko’s position and thus allowing him to take on a new role. In particular, she recognizes Zuko’s need to fight alone rather than together, which shifts the dynamic and interactions in their relationship.

With both Zuko and Katara achieving role-taking, we now move on to-

Role-fit

Definition: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles.

(Note: there’s a little bit of a stretch in needs and roles, but given much of Zuko and Katara’s life had been centered around defeating the Fire Nation, it still captures an essential part of their relationship.)

Zuko and Katara assessing the extent of the similarities in their personality:

(Frankly, this moment can apply to personality, needs, and roles)

Zuko and Katara assessing the extent of the similarities in their needs:

Zuko and Katara assessing the extent of the similarities in their roles:

I wish there had been more canon material with Zuko and Katara evaluating their personalities and needs on a more personal level. However, since the glimpses of peace we see in the ATLA finale are not focused on Zuko and Katara’s relationship (for better or for worse), the fact that the Crystal Catacombs exchange exists is already very telling. Additionally, it’s not difficult to imagine the two of them had a conversation about their personalities and needs given their track record of open communication and mutual support.

Dyadic Crystallization

Definition: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple.

After joining the GAang in the Western Air Temple, Zuko and Katara become “increasingly involved with each other” (even if their interactions are not always positive), as evidenced by the following:

Of course, their commitment to each other forms after Katara forgives Zuko and they work together as a team:

Though Zuko and Katara may not have formed an identity as a romantic couple, their platonic relationship relies on a profound foundation of teamwork, protectiveness, and support. Should they transition into a romantic relationship, this same foundation can be channeled with them working together to solve personal and political problems, protecting each other from physical and emotional wounds, and supporting one another with steadfast faith and determination.

Of course, the same logic applies to every stage of intimacy both parts of this meta explore. We already see how Zuko and Katara fulfill the other stages - perceived similarities, pair rapport, self-disclosure, role-taking, role-fit, and dyadic crystallization - in constructive ways throughout their platonic bond, so we can assume that their approach to these stages of intimacy would be similar in a romantic bond as well. After all, they already share a deep emotional connection, so the last gap their relationship would need to bridge between platonic and romantic lines would not be one of closeness (which anti-Zutara arguments point to as a cause for increasing toxicity between the two), but one of attraction.

As Guerrero and Mongeau note, “in this case, couples sustain high levels of friendship-based intimacy while adding passion-based intimacy. In a sense, these couples have already laid part of the groundwork for building a close romantic relationship.”

Thus, without needing to undergo a dramatic shift in quantity or quality, the existing emotional energy in Zutara lends itself well to both friendships and romances. Here we have a relationship where outward circumstances may change - from war to peace, from rebels to leaders - yet their internal framework, even while (hypothetically) in the process of adjusting from friends to lovers, has endured through the past and will continue to endure well into the future.

[lh-moth]

Apparently, there are currently accusations floating around about “Good Omens” using queerbaiting? Specifically, that the relationship between Aziraphile and Crowley is queerbaiting. The relationship that is written, directed, acted, and even scored like it’s a romance? The one that everyone involved, to the best of my knowledge, has specifically said is a romance?

Ah yes. Classic queerbaiting. How could I have missed it? Silly me. (Sarcasm!)

To be fair, I am not actually following the fandom closely, and I’m not seeking out any discussions about this topic. I’m only reacting to the things I’ve seen going across my dash, and those are usually already being strongly refuted. That being said, I still have something I’d like to get off my chest regarding this topic.

Which is, this talk of queerbaiting seems to be less about criticising the show and more about spitting vitriol at certain sections of the LGBTQ+ community.

The first time I saw someone argue there was queerbaiting - and this is the variation I have seen most often to date - they were saying that the show wasn’t explicit enough. The relationship was only implied.

Which…okay? I think we may have been watching a different show. As previously mentioned, everyone involved with the show has done and said pretty much everything they can to make it clear that this relationship is a romance. There’s also quite a bit of painstaking detail put into the development and portrayal of the emotional intimacy. And in-universe, the characters are repeatedly treated as a couple. Even a random passerby on the street sees them and thinks “ah, a couple!” As in, canonically.

So what here isn’t explicit? What, exactly, is lacking?

…oh right. They never kiss. And, as we all know, it’s not a real relationship unless there’s sexual intimacy! There’s no romance without sex!

Wait. That sounds awfully familiar… In fact, it’s pretty much word-for-word that thing that people say to asexuals. You know, about how our relationships aren’t real because it may not involve sexual intimacy? Wow, some things really never die. This one’s been floating around since long before Tumblr even existed. Let me tell you how much I didn’t miss hearing it.

There’s another variation of this accusation that I just saw recently. Thankfully, I’ve only seen it once, and I’m sincerely hoping it will fail to catch on. According to this version, the queerbaiting doesn’t have anything to do with the actual material. Rather, it’s because Neil Gaiman refuses to describe the characters as being gay.

Well. That’s certainly a…very selective interpretation of his words. I believe what he actually said - and I am paraphrasing a bit here - is that neither Aziraphile or Crowley are human men, but rather are genderless angel and demon, respectively. Therefore, describing them as gay would be inaccurate in this context. Now, we could go off onto a tangent about applying human ideas of sexuality to non-human beings, but I’d rather focus on the other part of that description.

Genderless.

These characters have no gender. Aziraphile, Crowley, all the angels and demons - all of them are genderless. If I remember correctly, this was made fairly clear in the book. And, in my opinion, they did a pretty good job of bringing it across in the series as well. 

As a genderqueer person, I can tell you that the question of gender-based sexualities is a very complicated one for non-binary, genderqueer, and/or agender folks. It’s also a very personal one. We’re the only ones who get to decide whether or not we want to describe ourselves, individually, as gay or lesbian or straight or another term altogether. Yet here people are, insisting that Aziraphile and Crowley must be described as gay. And when half of the team who created these characters states that this isn’t the correct term to use, people start accusing him of not only being disrespectful, but of being exploitive?

It is not queerbaiting for an author to express what labels (if any) their characters would or would not use. And in this situation, it’s far from being disrespectful! I’d say it’s much more disrespectful to declare that you get to decide another person’s sexuality for them. Not to mention the underlying assumption going on here - that Aziraphile and Crowley are men, despite all the information to the contrary. There’s a phrase to describe when one person thinks they get to determine another person’s gender based solely on their physical appearance. What was it...? Ah, yes. Blatant cissexism.

Just because a story doesn’t portray the queer relationship you, personally, wanted to see doesn’t mean it was done wrong. It may be a different narrative than the one you’re used to, but that doesn’t mean it’s deceitful or “tricking” you. If this story isn’t your cup of tea, whatever, that’s fine. Just move along, stop trying to poison the well, and let the rest of us who are enjoying it get on with things.

[badwasabi]

WRITING ADVICE: How not to write thoughts

Disclaimer: The following advice represents the opinions of One Nitpicky Guy. Readers should accept or reject it as they please. 

Jen opened her door and stepped out into the night.

“Hello?” she called. “Anyone out here?”

The trees rustled, blocking the streetlight. She mused that she had told Chris to cut them back, but nooo, he just said he’d get to it. Someday.

She pulled her handgun from her coat pocket, flicked on the flashlight, and panned it around the yard. Nothing. She wondered what had made the noise.

With her left hand, she reached for the porch light, tightened the bulb.

Nope, she thought, still out. But she decided not to stick around and replace it, not at night.

Something rustled in the bushes to her left, and her gun snapped around.

“Come out with your hands up!” she yelled, her heart beating loud in her ears.

A grey cat - the neighbour’s cat, Jen recalled - sauntered out of the bushes, stared at her insolently. As cats do.

She lowered her gun, and went “Jeez, Malky! You scared me half to death!”

She could just barely make out the cat’s features, the eerie greenish glow in his eyes. He looked at her, then right past her. Which meant, she reasoned, as the hairs on the back of her neck went up, that there might be someone right behi-

She was surprised when the killer’s arm wrapped around her throat.

There are certain words that you see a lot in writing, which are almost never used in conversation. If you think there’s a prowler in your backyard, you don’t call 911 and say “Police? I think I see a figure hiding in my primroses!” You don’t look at someone’s “features” when they’re talking to you, you look at their face. I’ve never “regarded” anyone, and how many of us actually know what “flashing eyes” would look like?*

IMO, it’s fine to use words like this in, say, an article or opinion piece, which is deliberately artificial. If you’re writing a story that’s in omniscient third-person (EG Hitchiker’s, Discworld), sure, why not. But using these terms in a close third-person or first-person narrative can be somewhat jarring, even if the reader never consciously notices.

And some of the biggest offenders are the “thought” words.

In reality, people don’t really “muse”. We seldom “consider”. Or “make mental notes”. Not in our own heads. Have you ever been telling a story about something you did, and you went “and then I made a mental note?”

One common mistake is going “X thought of [subject]” without ever explaining, thus;

Dolores licked her lips as she thought of what she’d do to that sandwich.

as opposed to

Dolores licked her lips. First she’d pick up the sandwich, gently, gently. She’d nibble at the end, just a bit, just to get a little taste. Then she’d open her mouth as wide as it could go and take that big chomp-

That’s a stronger image, more evocative. If you have to use “X thought of [subject]”, try to use it like a sort of thesis statement.

Dolores licked her lips as she thought of what she’d do to that sandwich. First she’d pick it up, gently, gently. She’d nibble at the end, just a bit, just to get a little taste. Then she’d open her mouth as wide as it could go and take that big chomp-

or

Dolores licked her lips as she thought about what she’d do to that sandwich. She thought about how she’d pick it up, gently, gently. About nibbling at the end, just a bit, just to get a little taste. Then she’d open her mouth as wide as it could go and take that big chomp-

In general, try to avoid saying “X thought of [subject]” just by itself and letting it sit there. There needs to be some kind of payoff. Even if it doesn’t show up right away. Even something like another character breaking them out of their thoughts.

I see way too many people who just use “X thought of [subject]” to summarize a character’s thoughts, but don��t unpack.

But more importantly for these tips are what I like to call inline thoughts. It’s when you present the characters thoughts, in the text, without italics. While I like to use ‘inline’ thoughts for the POV character, I sometimes used italicized thoughts when I want to give emphasis.

Speaking of interruptions;

Jimmy frowned.

Well, someone with no taste might think “Dangerous” is the better album, but it’s clearly “Bad”.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash from the next room.

Never say that. Just show the interruption, and then what interrupted.

Jimmy frowned.

Well, someone with no taste might think “Dangerous” is the better album, but it’s clearly “Ba-”

There was a loud crash from the next room.

Also, some people use single quotes to indicate thoughts. As far as my highly-compensated** research team can tell, this is grammatically incorrect, and you shouldn’t do it ever.

You know what’s even worse? No, not 'irregardless’, though that counts. Using both italics and single quotes. Which gets especially confusing when it’s in the same paragraph as italicized dialogue.

“Look,” I said, “I’ll get you the money, so you don’t need to be all nice place you have here, shame if something happened to it.” ’Please don’t ask how, please don’t ask how, Please don’t-’

Please don’t write

X, I thought to myself.

Pop quiz; how many stories are there where the protagonist has access to telepathy? Mind-to-mind communication?

Not many.

Exactly. So who else would they be thinking to?

If your writing is focused on a POV character, you generally don’t have to use “X noticed/saw/perceived/reasoned/etc.” Just describe what they saw, just like you described the interruption instead of telling the audience there was an interruption.

Look at this “inline” bit;

Sanjay locked his computer, picked up his smartphone, and headed for the empty break roo-

Oh.

“Hi,” Ingrid said.

“Hey.”

Now, watch what happens when I tell, not show.

Sanjay locked his computer, picked up his smartphone, and headed for what he thought was an empty break room. Needless to say, he was surprised to find Ingrid already there.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey.”

Just kinda sucked the emotion right out of it.

But what if I want to convey a non-verbal thought? Like an impulse?

Well, Timmy, then you lie.

What?

Lie. Fake it.

Carlos had a sudden urge to tickle his cat.

vs 

Carlos looked at his cat. He could tickle her…

or

Carlos looked at his cat. Would she mind being tickled?

As a general rule, you should use thought verbs the way you’d use “said”  verbs. For me, that means 'not at all, if possible’.

“So what’s the problem?” Jones asked.

“The anklet says she has a pretty set routine,” Brown said. “Home, work, grocery store. Sometimes she jogs around the block. But on one day, the day of the explosion, she stops at this donut shop. If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…”

Jones thought that was interesting. “Coincidence?”

Vs

If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…“

Interesting. "Coincidence?”

or

If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…“

Interesting. "Coincidence?”

Or

If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…“ Jones leaned forward. "Coincidence?”

Or

Jones’ eyes narrowed. “Coincidence?”

Or

Jones narrowed his eyes. “Coincidence?”

Remember when I said you should generally use thought verbs like said verbs? That doesn’t often apply when you’re using physical reactions instead of thought tags (which I personally prefer). People put more weight on actions than words, and from the outside we can only know most people’s thoughts by what they do and say. More specifically, try to put the physical reaction before the dialogue.

Sometimes you may want to use “X thought” to make the narration seem disconnected and distant from the POV characters. Let’s say some character has a concussion or just got some shocking news.

Jane blinked. “I’m sorry, what?” “There was a complication,” the doctor said. “His heart stopped on the table.” This is impossible, Jane thought. “No, he can’t…I just talked to him yesterday. How can he be de-dea-”

or

Jane blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“There was a complication,” the doctor said. “His heart stopped on the table.”

Jane thought it was impossible. “No, he can’t…I just talked to him yesterday. How can he be de-dea-”

This works even in first person.

I blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“There was a complication,” the doctor said. “His heart stopped on the table.”

This is impossible, I thought. “No, he can’t…I just talked to him yesterday. How can he be de-dea-”

Any questions?

Good Hunting -Jon

PS: Oh, right, forgot;

Jen opened her door and stepped out into the night.

“Hello?” she called. “Anyone out here?”

The trees rustled, blocking the streetlight. She told Chris to cut them back, but nooo, he just said he’d get to it. Someday.

She pulled her handgun from her coat pocket, flicked on the flashlight, and panned it around the yard. Nothing. What had made the noise.

With her left hand, she reached for the porch light, tightened the bulb. Nope, still out. Best not to stick around and replace it, not at night.

Something rustled in the bushes to her left, and her gun snapped around.

“Come out with your hands up!” she yelled, her heart beating loud in her ears.

A grey cat - the neighbour’s cat- sauntered out of the bushes, stared at her insolently. As cats do.

She lowered her gun, and went “Jeez, Malky! You scared me half to death!”

She could just barely see the cat’s face, the eerie greenish glow in his eyes. He looked at her, then right past her. The hairs on the back of her neck went up. Was there someone right behi-

A strong arm wrapped around her throat.

* I do. But that’s another show. ** I throw a cheeseburger down their dungeon steps sometimes

[thecoleopterawithana]

Hi there! Just discovered your blog and I love it. I appreciate your in-depth analyses. But I have a question: I saw in a previous post that you think the line "I'm in love with a friend of mine," from "Dear Friend," is Paul saying he loves John. But, couldn't this line apply to Linda? It seems to me Paul could be telling John either, "Let it go, you know I'm in love with you," or "Let it go, you know I'm in love with Linda." What do you think? I'd love the line to be for John of course. Thanks!

Hey there, dear anon! I’m so happy you’re having fun with the blog and my sporadic thoughts!

Ah, yes! The famous conundrum: who is the friend Paul’s in love with?

I want to start off by making it clear that I have no doubt in my mind that Paul was in love with Linda.

In the same way, I don’t see it as too far fetched to think that Paul was in love with John. They both used it to describe their relation often enough.

The question, as always, is what exactly Paul means and what we mean when using the term. 

So the third point I’d like to make is that Paul being in love with John doesn’t necessarily entail him wanting to kiss him or be a typical romantic couple. It’s possible that this is simply the best term they found to describe the level of intensity and infatuation present in their relationship; how fascinated they were with each other, how interested in spending time together. Of course, we as a culture are very hung-up on the physical manifestations of these feelings, and often use this small constituent of very complex dynamics to categorize them into platonic, romantic, sexual, etc. But I think I’ve harped on enough about the illusion, limitation, and importance of language/concepts/categories in the previous post you referred to.

By all of this I just mean to say that maybe we shouldn’t decide who the line is about based on how plausible it would be for Paul to use “in love” in reference to John Lennon, as there are more instances him doing exactly so. 

So, assuming that Paul is just as likely to use “in love” to refer to his relationship with Linda as to his relationship with John, let’s see what he says about the song:

“Dear Friend” was written about John, yes. I don’t like grief and arguments, they always bug me. Life is too precious, although we often find ourselves guilty of doing it. So after John had slagged me off in public I had to think of a response, and it was either going to be to slag him off in public — and some instinct stopped me, which I’m really glad about — or do something else. So I worked on my attitude and wrote “Dear Friend”, saying, in effect, let’s lay the guns down, let’s hang up our boxing gloves.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed for Club Sandwich (1994).

Dear Friend was to do with John, a bit of longing about John. Let’s have a glass of wine and forget about it. A making up song.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed by Paul Du Noyer for Mojo (July 2001).

[Dear Friend] was written for John, to John. It was like a letter. With the business pressures of the Beatles breaking up it’s like a marriage. One minute you’re in love, the next minute you hate each other’s guts. It’s a pity, because it’s very difficult to cut through all that. So you do what we all seemed to do, which was write it in songs. I wrote “Dear Friend” as a kind of peace gesture.

— Paul McCartney, in Bill Harry's The Paul McCartney Encyclopedia (2002).

And then with ‘Dear Friend’, that’s sort of me talking to John after we’d had all the sort of disputes about The Beatles break up. I find it very emotional when I listen to it now. I have to sort of choke it back. I’m not going to cry in front of all you lot though! […] But, for me, it is a bit like that. I remember when I heard the song recently, listening to the roughs [remastering works-in-progress] in the car. And I thought, ‘Oh God’. That lyric: ‘Really truly, young and newly wed’. Listening to that was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s true!’ I’m trying to say to John, ‘Look, you know, it’s all cool. Have a glass of wine. Let’s be cool.’ And luckily we did get it back together, which was like a great source of joy because it would have been terrible if he’d been killed as things were at that point and I’d never got to straighten it out with him. This was me reaching out. So, I think it’s very powerful in some very simple way. But it was certainly heartfelt.”

— Paul McCartney, You Gave Me The Answer - ‘Wild Life’ Special (29 October 2018).

So, starting by stating the obvious, Paul has made it clear that the ‘dear friend’ the song is addressed to is John. Now, is the ‘friend of mine’ a different subject or the same? 

Conveniently, because they continue to mirror each other, both Paul and John are ‘really truly, young and newly wed.’ So the whole phrasing of the song is exactly the sort of “very non-specific way to say it” that Paul prefers.

Though, in 2018, Paul comments precisely on this line: “I find it very emotional when I listen to it now. [...] And I thought, ‘Oh God’. That lyric: ‘Really truly, young and newly wed’. Listening to that was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s true!’”

It’s worth to consider the context of the whole verse, as that specific lyric is the end of a sentence: ‘Dear friend, throw the wine, I'm in love with a friend of mine, really truly, young and newly wed.’

Paul tells us that this phrase in particular gets him choked up, but also almost awed in realization. I personally don’t feel like this kind of surprised amazement would be elicited by acknowledging that it’s him and Linda that were ‘in love’ and ‘really truly, young and newly wed’, unless out of a sense of nostalgia. 

But the thing is, Paul doesn’t bring up Linda or Yoko or their respective marriages even once while discussing the song. If the point he’s trying to make is, ‘Look, I’m in love with Linda, you’re with Yoko, why are we fighting?’, why would he never bring them up while discussing the song? Or state something to the effect of “We are individuals— all different. John married Yoko, I married Linda. We didn't marry the same girl.” (Which he did say in the autumn of 1969, to Life magazine.)

In actuality, he only mentions his metaphorical matrimony to John, and how “one minute you’re in love, the next minute you hate each other’s guts.” So, when discussing a song written to, for and about his ‘dear friend’ John, in which he declares he’s ‘in love with a friend’ of his, Paul explains how it’s like they’d been “in love” with each other. 

I think we might be making this needlessly complicated by bringing in his love for Linda, and so would like to invoque the law of parsimony.

But then, what does he mean?

Paul makes it abundantly clear that the ultimate goal of this ‘letter’ is an attempt at reconciliation, “a kind of peace gesture”, “let’s be cool”, “let’s lay the guns down, let’s hang up our boxing gloves”. It’s a “making up song.” 

It pays to point out that while Dear Friend was first recorded at the beginning of the Wild Life sessions, on 24 July 1971, the demo tapes date back to a year prior, estimated to have been made at home in 1970. So it’s unlikely it was a response to How Do You Sleep?, recorded on 26 May 1971, and released on 9 September 1971. So Paul seems to be answering some other slagging off in public that John did.

But let’s look at the song:

Dear friend, what's the time?  Is this really the borderline?  Does it really mean so much to you? 

Are you afraid, or is it true?

Dear friend, throw the wine  I'm in love with a friend of mine  Really truly, young and newly wed 

Are you a fool, or is it true?

Are you afraid, or is it true?

The first line seems to be pretty self-explanatory, with the same sentiment Paul expressed in 1994, that “life is too precious”; after all, ‘Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend.’

In the second line, the question could mean, ‘Is this really where we’re at? Is this where we ended up?’ Or he could be using ‘borderline’ to mean a division, in the sense that he asks ‘Is this really where the line is drawn?’, which could help explain the end of the verse and his bafflement at how hurt John is by having that line crossed.

Now, what might be the action that meant so much to John? What might be Paul pinpointing as the source of John’s hurt? The sources could be multiple. John himself said no one hurt him as much as Paul did, and he was quick to point out Paul’s insensitivity. Paul would later continue to ponder this issue:

I always felt guilty. Always felt guilty. But looking back on it, I keep thinking, okay, let’s try and analyse this. Now John was hurt; what was he hurt by? What was the single biggest thing that we can find in all our research that hurt John? And the biggest thing that I can find is that I told the world that the Beatles were finished. And I don’t think that’s so hurtful. [...] I look at it now and really kind of shudder. At the time it was me trying to answer some questions that were being asked and I decided to not fudge that question. [Note: Where John’s hurt is concerned, Paul may or may not be referring specifically to his answering “Do you foresee a time when Lennon-McCartney becomes an active songwriting partnership again?” with a definitive “No.”] And I say, looking back on it, I don’t think… I mean, if that’s the most hurtful thing I did, I haven’t really heard much else beyond that.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed by Chris Salewicz for Musician (October 1986).

Of course, there’s nothing to say that Paul would be aware of all of this back in 1970. So we may never know what hurt Paul was referring to, if any. Remember this is just my present personal interpretation; which can be completely incorrect. 

Now comes the part which I consider the most mysterious in the entire song: ‘Are you afraid, or is it true?’ and the variation, ‘Are you a fool, or is it true?’ The exact meaning for these inquires often eludes me. What is John afraid of and what is the alternative state that Paul wonders if it’s true?

One interpretation I’ve seen is made in the context of Dear Friend being an answer to How Do You Sleep? Here, the question ‘is it true?’ amounts to ‘did you really mean all those things you said, or were you just hurt?’ This seems a reasonable take and it works as a response to any attacks by John, not just necessarily How Do You Sleep? 

Of course, Paul uses the word ‘afraid’. And although I can see a post-divorce John Lennon slagging of his ex out of hurt, I don’t understand how he’d do it out of fear. But maybe there was something to lose still.

Personally, clarity arrived when I was exposed to the song A Love For You. Part of the RAM demo tapes made between May and August 1970, this track recorded in 26 October 1970 would only be heard by the public in 2003, in the soundtrack for the movie “The In-Laws”. 

The piece shares many motifs with other McCartney songs, as I’ve tried to explore before. But, to our discussion, I think the most relevant part of this contemporary of Dear Friend is the very last line of the second verse: 

Is it true, are you coming through, or were you just leaving?

Here we have it; around the same time, precisely the same question: ‘Is it true?’

Though in the case of Dear Friend, it’s as if what he questions as “true” is reversed, asking instead: ‘Is it true you were just leaving? Or are you afraid of coming through? Or are you a fool for not seeing that I really am, I really can, I really do, I really have a love for you?’

This interpretation seems to match my current hypothesis that the breakup was but a disastrous series of miscommunications, which both created and were created by fear, distrust and insecurity in the other’s love. 

If this is the case, the second verse seems to also make more sense. The first line is explained by Paul in 2001: “Let’s have a glass of wine and forget about it.” Assuming that the second line (the reason for this whole post) is referring to John, then it represents a clarification of Paul’s feelings. The verse culminates with a question that seems to reinforce the whole message: ‘Are you a fool for not seeing I’m in love with you, or is it true that you actually meant to leave and that you don’t feel the same anymore?’

I have to reinforce that, even with all of this, when Paul says ‘I’m in love with you’ to John, I don’t think it necessarily means ‘I’ll leave Linda, take me back!’ From my perspective, the way Paul’s in love with Linda doesn’t really infringe on the way he’s in love with John. He probably had totally different needs and expectations from the two relationships, which he doesn’t see as mutually exclusive.

So, in conclusion, for me Dear Friend is essentially Paul writing a letter to John saying, ‘Come on, are we really wasting time with this fighting nonsense? Let’s make up! I still feel the way I felt. Do you?’ 

[archer3-13]

since ive been ruminating a lot over rasa, gaara and suna in general recently, and i felt the need to sortta articulate a realization i had in which i dont particularly like yashimaru but i do kinda like rasa. namely the sequence of events and how they happened in regards to gaaras edgy and somewhat nonsensical backstory

1. suna is hit by an economic slump brought on by war and konoha out competing them, rasa at the councils discretion decides that they need to weaponize the ichibi in order to stay competitive

2. rasa decides for whatever reason that the ichibi has to be sealed in one of his children. presumably its a matter of compatibility with the chakra as neither of rasas first born children show compatibility with the ichibi

3. chiyo is called in to do the sealing on the kazekages third and yet to be born child. chiyo presumably being the most skilled medical expert in the village decides that carving the seal and shoving shukaku directly into the yet to be born child is the way to go, this presumably causes the medical complications resulting in the death of gaaras mother

4. rasa now has a jinchuriki child on his hands. at some point said child begins lashing out by accident with sand which is seen as a manifestation of the ichibis power. this causes said childs pariah status from already being a jichuriki to worsen as he seemingly possesses no control over said power and is possibly lashing out intentionally as far as everyone else knows

5. for everyone elses safety rasa has yashimaru act as gaaras caretaker and handler on a daily basis, well rasa primarily handles teaching gaara ninja skills and presumably trying to instill a sense of control in gaara. its not working however and the erratic behaviour of gaaras sand gets worse

6. gaara, now six, is deemed a failure by the suna council. as originally depicted rasa agrees with this assessment and prepares an assassination against gaara, one which yashimaru willingly volunteers for due to a deep seated anger towards gaara. this is later retconned as rasa placing one more test to see the limit of gaaras mental and physical control with the ichibi, one which he assigns yashimaru for.

7. regardless, the assassination attempt fails and yashimaru is critically injured. as originally depicted due to his deep seated anger towards gaara, yashimaru berates gaara emotionally to the point of deep seated trauma before blowing himself up as a last ditch attempt and to rub salt in the wound. this is retconned to... yashimaru not feeling that way but still applying the same actions anyways of his own volition knowing they would be particularly effective in breaking gaara despite gaara otherwise displaying control over himself in that encounter.

8. gaara, now thoroughly psychotic, lets the ichibi loose and allows it to rampage across suna. well we dont know the actual death toll or damage caused by this but we can guess based on the devastation the kyubi unleashed that its was particularly costly in terms of lives and damage, and ended with rasa having to forcibly subdue the ichibi.

9. as originally depicted, gaara now having proven himself to be a public menace beyond reasonable public doubt, is the target of countless more assassination attempts ordered by rasa. this is retconned into rasa ordering five additional assassination attempts though largely for the same reasons of gaara proving to be a public menace at that point.

10. regardless, rasa eventually stops the assassination attempts after a while, presumably because gaara displayed a newfound control over the ichibi which frequently rampages during this time. now proving himself to be a useful if erratic asset of sunagakure, rasa assigns gaara to many dangerous missions due to the raw power gaara presumably brings. eventually the chunin exams happen, rasa is killed by orochimaru and gaara makes his heel turn.

like, im not crazy here right? rasas being a dick but he has obligations to being a government leader that requires him to put aside familial wellbeing in favor of common welfare. hes a military dictator like all the kage which carries with it an inherent criminal culpability, but a thats a different discussion, and b he is making an effort to serve his peoples interests unlike say... danzou or tobirama, even if he constantly fucks up at it. yashimaru by comparison is just being a dick for no reason, and actively makes the situation worse by his own volition and initiative. in either variation of events to, in its original form hes actively being malicious for his own satisfaction, and in the retconned version hes going out of his way to be cruel in a way that knows will hurt gaara immensely because of a vague mission parameter.

idk, i just... i just feel yashimaru has a lot more culpability in all this then he seems to actually get.

[homoose]

Love Has a Learning Curve: epilogue (OC)

Summary: An early morning, a doctor’s appointment, a new beginning.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x OC

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: pregnancy (including like… probably incorrect math and science but my degree was in English and this is fanfiction okay)

Word count: 2.7k

a/n: I’m actually so emotional don’t look at me thanks ♥️

Series Masterlist

———

The sound of Spencer’s ringtone pierced through the early morning quiet, shrill and disconsolate. Maggie hummed against his chest, shifting as he clumsily reached across to the bedside table to answer it. 

“Hey,” he croaked, voice still smothered in sleep. “Mm... When?” He paused, and she could almost make out the answer on the other end. “Got it. Yeah.” 

He carefully set the phone back on the bedside table, and then his arms came around her shoulders. He let out a long sigh, the one she’d gotten quite used to over the last year and a half— the one that meant he had to go. She squeezed him around the middle and let out her own sigh. “Case?”

“Yeah.” He ran light fingers down her arm. “Jet’s taking off in ninety minutes.”

She glanced at the bedside table to the alarm clock that read 4:57am. They both knew he needed to leave within the next half hour if he was going to make it on time, but neither one made any effort to move. Instead, they breathed together in the pre-dawn stillness— a single moment of peace before the world and all its ugliness could crash through the fortress they’d constructed around their space and around each other.

“I don’t wanna go,” he whispered. 

“I know.” She pressed a kiss over his heart through his t-shirt. “I know.”

“I’m gonna miss everything,” he lamented. “Appointments, and milestones, and firsts, and I— I’m gonna miss all of it.”

She lifted her head at the tears in his voice. “Hey.” She shifted in the circle of his arms to prop herself up on his chest. “You’re not gonna miss all of it. You’ll miss this one appointment. And it’s— it’s not even an important one,” she assured, gentle fingers swiping away the lone tear that had managed to escape over his lash line. 

“Yes, it is.” He shook his head. “They're all important.”

She gave him a sympathetic smile, leaning forward to press a quick peck to his lips before sitting up and deciding to reassure him in the only way she knew how. “Okay, doctor. Eleven weeks. Tell me what we’re gonna find out today.” 

She pulled him up out of bed, interlacing their fingers and pressing their shoulders together. As she led him to the bathroom, he explained, “Dr. Layton will do the first ultrasound, and Baby will look more like a baby now. At around ten weeks they made the transition from embryo to fetus. They’ll be about two inches long.” 

She handed him his toothbrush and turned to grab his toiletry go-back from the linen closet, stifling a yawn. “Mmhm. What else?”

“Did you know they’re breathing now?” he asked, and she smiled at the way the excitement crept into his voice. “Between weeks ten and eleven, the fetus starts to inhale and exhale small amounts of amniotic fluid, which aids in the development of their lungs. It’s kind of like they’re breathing underwater.” 

“I didn’t know that,” she admitted, turning back to set the bag on the counter. “That’s pretty amazing. What about the heartbeat?”

He nodded vigorously as he applied toothpaste to the bristles of his brush. “We should be able to hear it, although sometimes it’s too early— depending on the accuracy of the estimated date of conception.”

He ran the water over the toothbrush before popping it into his mouth. She kissed his shoulder and then moved back into the bedroom, shuffling into their closet for his go bag. She checked it over on her way back to the bathroom, ensuring it had been fully repacked after the last case. She set it on the counter and placed his toiletry bag inside, leaving it open for him to pack his toothbrush and then sitting on the closed toilet lid. 

He rinsed his mouth and put his travel cap over the head of his toothbrush, gesturing with it and then dropping it into the bag. “They’ll do some routine lab work to test for things like gestational diabetes, and we can also choose to do additional screeners for chromosomal abnormalities and possible complications.” He looked at her then, and she saw the despondence creeping back in. “I should really be there, just— just in case.”

“Honey.” She stood and held out her hand to him, smiling a little when he accepted it with a squeeze. “It’s gonna be okay.” 

He let out a breath and pulled her into his arms, and they held each other in the silence, the soft light from the vanity washing over them. His phone buzzed with an incoming message, and she knew he needed to get on the road. Still, she held him for a second longer, and then they shuffled through the door and into the bedroom together. 

Maggie made her way back to bed, scooting down under the duvet to preserve the last remaining notes of his body warmth. She watched as he dressed silently, pulling on trousers, socks, a button up and cardigan. He skipped the tie in favor of coming to sit on the bed, bringing his hand to rest lightly over top of her belly over the covers. 

She covered his hand with her own and laced their fingers together. “Maybe you could ask Luke if you can FaceTime with his phone. You can probably take twenty minutes, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.” He rubbed a tired hand over his face. “Maybe I should just upgrade my own phone.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Oh, I see how it is. Couldn’t upgrade for me, but once a baby comes along you’re ready for an iPhone.” 

“That’s not— you— you shouldn’t have to do all of this alone,” he huffed, and she realized her joke didn’t land when his voice cracked at the end. 

“Spence, I’m— I’m just teasing.” She lifted her hands to his face, pulling him closer and meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry; you’re upset, and that wasn’t nice.” 

She leaned up to kiss his forehead, letting her lips linger and breathing him in. “But I’m not alone. With you, I feel— the opposite of alone.”

“Irritated?” he offered. 

“No,” she laughed. “Supported, and cared for, and loved,” she corrected with a smile. “You’ve been all of that since day one. And I know that’s not going to change, whether you’re physically present in that doctor's office or not. Right?” 

When he nodded, she continued, “I love you. The most. And you are easily the best baby daddy on planet earth. Okay?”

The term of endearment dragged a smile from him, as it always did. “Okay.”

She leaned forward to press her lips to his, both sets upturned and a little dry from sleep. “Now, you need to go, or you’re gonna be late.”

“I know.” He kissed her again, long and slow, and then pulled back to lean their foreheads together. He hesitated for another ten seconds before standing to grab his bag from the bathroom. 

When he re-emerged, she reminded him, “Ask Luke about the FaceTime thing. I’m sure he won’t mind, and we can trust him to keep the secret. The appointment technically starts at 1:00, but I probably won’t be seen until at least 1:30.”

He crossed to give her another kiss. “I love you.” He crouched to press a kiss to her tummy. “And you.”

“We love you, too,” she smiled, fingers tangling in his curls. “And we’ll talk to you in a few hours.”

She kissed him one more time— couldn’t help herself. And then his warmth was gone from the bed, and the house was suddenly much too quiet. She snuggled back down under the duvet, her head on his pillow and the scent of his shampoo shrouding her senses and easing her mind.

Spencer really was supportive— endlessly so. Not overbearing, but interested and involved in every moment: reading all the newest research, bringing home her favorite treats, writing out a color-coded timeline of all the appointments and milestones. She wasn’t lying when she called him the best baby daddy. He was always there for her. So much so that the apprehension she’d had at the beginning of this surprise journey was nowhere to be found. 

As she drifted back into sleep, there he was again— she could almost hear the jangling of his keys in the bowl in the entryway, his feet on the stairs, the rustling of his pants and sweater being discarded onto the floor of their bedroom. 

And then she felt the warmth of his palm low over her tummy, coming to rest over the barely-there bump. She felt his lips on her shoulder and his chest pressed against her back. When she went to cover his hand with her own, her exhausted brain registered that it wasn’t a dream at all.

She turned her head, blinking her eyes open to see him smiling at her and drew her brows together. “What’s going on?”

He pressed another kiss to her shoulder, snuggling even closer and rubbing his thumb along her belly. “I’m, um— I told Emily I’m gonna consult from home on this one.”

…

“Okay, Mom, this’ll just be a little bit cold.”

Dr. Layton smoothed the gel over Maggie’s lower abdomen, and Spencer moved to thread their fingers together, shifting to stand even closer to the examination table. The ultrasound machine gave off a low hum as the doctor adjusted the wand over her tummy. She felt Spencer press a kiss to her temple and turned to smile brightly at him before turning back to the black and white screen. 

At her first appointment five weeks ago, she’d been by herself— alone and uncertain and terrified— and she’d declined the option of the ultrasound. It felt wrong to see the baby before Spencer even knew about them. Now, together with him, with her soon-to-be husband— she was more than ready to see their baby for the first time. And she could practically feel Spencer’s excitement next to her, his body nearly vibrating with it. 

“Ah, here they are. Hello, Baby Reid.” Dr. Layton pointed to a small, white figure on the screen. “Okay, right here, you can see their big ol’ head— perfectly normal size for this stage of development,” she assured, eyes deftly scanning the image in front of her. “Everything looks great! Now, I’m just trying to find…” 

She adjusted the wand over Maggie’s tummy, and suddenly a wub wub wub came over the tinny speaker of the machine. “There we are,” Dr. Layton smiled. “Very strong heartbeat.”

Spencer squeezed Maggie’s hand, and she felt the drop of a tear on her shoulder. She brought her other hand over to cover their tangled fingers, rubbing her thumb along the skin of his wrist and kissing his arm. 

Dr. Layton made a slightly perplexed humming sound, moving the wand again and losing the sound of the heartbeat, only to pick it up again— this time slightly faster. Maggie’s own heart stuttered a little as the doctor moved the wand again twice more and then cleared her throat. “Is something— is everything okay?”

She turned to Maggie with a kind smile. “Yes, yes,” she confirmed, and then she raised her eyebrows. “Just— do you hear the difference?” 

Spencer tilted his head in consideration, drawing his brows together and straining to hear. The doctor shifted the wand once more, allowing them to hear the two distinct patterns. 

Two distinct patterns, Maggie realized. 

Dr. Layton pressed the wand a little more firmly into her abdomen, moved it just slightly. “Those are two different heartbeats.” She pointed to the screen. “And those are two different babies. There’s a matching set of Baby Reids in there.”

Maggie couldn’t stop her jaw from dropping. “Is there—” She turned to Spencer incredulously. “Do twins run in your family?”

He shook his head silently, eyes wide. “Yours?”

“Nope,” she squeaked. 

“This obviously changes things slightly,” Dr. Layton explained, cleaning up the residual gel. “I’d like to see you every three weeks rather than every four. Then at twenty eight weeks, we’ll see how we feel, okay?” 

She smiled gently as Maggie and Spencer nodded dumbly. She removed her gloves and stood. “I’m going to give you two a few minutes. I’ll be back with your photos in a bit, and we can talk about any questions you might have.”

The door closed behind her, and the room was bathed in silence. Maggie sat up carefully and swung her legs over the side of the examination table. She looked down at her tiny, unassuming bump and felt a tear slip over her lashes. 

“Are you— are you okay?” Spencer whispered. 

She brought her gaze to his, found them teeming with barely restrained joy and yet the ever-present worry. “Well,” she started. “I, um— I always imagined two kids.” She brought her hands up to her sweaty cheeks and held her own face between her palms. “I guess this is— you know— just a quicker way to get there.”

Spencer immediately wrapped her in a hug, pressing kisses over her hair, her forehead, her shocked mouth. “Two babies. We’re having two babies.”

“Twins, Spence,” she breathed. “Twins.”

He replaced her hands with his own, cradling her face and kissing her sweetly, sighing all of his joy and adoration into her mouth. “I love you. So much. The most.” He lowered himself to press his lips to her belly. “All of you.”

She used gentle hands in his hair to tilt his face up, meeting his smile with a watery one of her own. “We love you, too, baby daddy.”

She could see the gears turning as he stood, his hands coming to rest on her hips. “About that.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Yes?”

“Do you, um— how difficult do you think it would be to get everyone together this weekend?”

She paused. “You wanna get married this weekend?”

“Yeah, that’s probably too soon, huh?” He huffed out a sigh, then his eyebrows shot up. “Oh— what about next weekend?”

“That’s just as soon!” she laughed. 

He furrowed his brow. “No, it’s not. There's a seven day difference.”

“You’re really in a rush, huh?” she teased. 

“Well. I just— I figure you should really be on my insurance anyway,” he reasoned. “Especially now that it’s— now that it’s twins.”

“Mm, yes, I’m sure that’s the reason,” she grinned.

He let out a long breath, and she watched his eyes journey over her face— memorizing every curve and angle, every new wrinkle, every last inch of her. And she knew the reason. 

“I know it’s just a piece of paper,” he murmured. “It doesn’t really change anything, but…” He used gentle fingers to brush her hair back from her face. “I just… really want to be your husband.”

She took her own minute to memorize the way he looked in this moment: her fiancé, the father of her children, the best man she’d ever known, the absolute love of her life. And she knew her own reason. 

“The paper might not change anything,” she agreed. “But— you’ve changed everything.”

He squeezed her hips. “In a good way I hope.”

“The best way.” She brought her hands to his face, rubbing her thumbs along his cheeks. “The best way.”

He closed the distance between them to kiss her with all the honey and magic and reverence he always did. He broke away to lean his forehead against hers with all the warmth and devotion and love he always did. She sighed, and it was all joy and vulnerability and contentment like it always was. And she knew their reasons. 

She kissed him again, and then murmured against his lips, “You know I’m still gonna refer to you as baby daddy, right?”

The laugh erupted from his chest and wrapped itself around her heart, tying tight and secure— a shield, and a haven, and a refuge— keeping her safe from every terrible thing. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

…

O no! Love is an ever-fixed mark 

That looks on tempests and is never shaken; 

It is the star to every wandering bark, 

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

- William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

———

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Permanent (sfw) tags: @mrs-dr-reid @eevee0722 @goldentournesol @froggybagels

Series (x OC) tags: @linnyalou @mikewizkalifa

[maryjancwatson]

IC PORTION; BASICS —

CHARACTER NAME/ALIAS: Mary Jane Watson

FACECLAIM: Madelaine Petsch

AFFILIATIONS: At the moment, unaffiliated. 

AGE (physical age as well, if different): 24

SPECIES (human, metahuman, alien, etc): Human

IS YOUR CHARACTER’S IDENTITY SECRET OR PUBLIC? N/A

IF SECRET, OR YOUR CHARACTER IS A CIVILIAN, DO THEY HAVE A CIVILIAN OCCUPATION?: Mary Jane very recently snagged a job at the UN in Sokovia as their Goodwill Ambassador. Mary Jane is also working with a local charity, both in relief work and working to raise funds independently due to her following on social media platforms.

IF YOUR CHARACTER LIVES IN THE FORTRESS, WHAT ARE THEIR DUTIES? : Maybe one day she will return to being Tony Stark’s coffee bitch.

DESCRIBE SIX TRAITS (3 positive, 3 negative) YOUR CHARACTER HAS AND HOW THESE AFFECT THEM: + Passionate: Anyone that meets Mary Jane knows that she has passion, as it’s clear within the first five minutes of talking to her. She’s passionate about everything: coffee preferences, movies vs. books debates, and in particular, Broadway shows. It goes deeper than that, though, and that becomes clear in knowing her better. Mary Jane practically bleeds for things that she believes in. She gives 110% into everything she does, and it shows. + Adaptable: Mary Jane grew up in an ever-changing environment, and it turned her into a person that can roll with the punches. She’s able to adapt to situations quickly, and is able to think on her feet. She can stay relatively unphased with change and adapt accordingly. + Charismatic: Mary Jane is a people person. She spent so much of her childhood and adolescence moving around that she had to learn how to socialize quickly, and it made Mary Jane into a social butterfly. She knows how to talk to people, knows how to make small talk and easily does the back-and-forth with just about anyone. - Hot-headed: There is no way around it: Mary Jane Watson has a temper. She goes from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye, and sometimes struggles coming back down to 0. It’s not easy to light the flame under her and set her alight, and it’s something she’s been working on since childhood. Even on the rare occasions where she does manage to keep a lid of the explosions, her facial expressions give it all away. - Commitment-phobic / flighty: Mary Jane doesn’t like to stick to one thing or one place for long, and sometimes has trouble sticking to things. While she gives 100% in passion, sometimes it’s a solid 60% in commitment. She dropped out of college, almost dropped out of high school a few times before that, and never signs more than a six months lease. Most of her romantic relationships have ended poorly because Mary Jane never knows what Mary Jane wants, and she starts to feel claustrophobic when things get tough. This is more on a personal level. Professionally, she sticks to her guns a little more. - Selfish: Mary Jane is always looking out for Mary Jane. She’s trying to do better, but her bottom instinct is always to do what’s best for herself. She’s scrappy, as one needs to be in the showbiz world, but it impacts her personal relationships as well.

POWERS AND/OR ABILITIES: Mary Jane is very human, and possesses no super-human abilities. However, she’s semi-famous with a solid social media following! (if only that were a super power) MJ is charismatic and highly organized, and has a leadership quality to her. She enjoys organization and administrative-type tasks, and is a go-getter to get shit done.

WEAKNESSES: Again, MJ is definitely human. I would say her strongest weaknesses are her fear of commitment and her tendencies to be selfish, as this only gets in her own way of what she wants. Mary Jane is also a chronic over-thinker, and can think herself into a box at times.

WHAT DREW YOU TO THIS CHARACTER? MJ is a spitfire and my spirit animal. She’s feisty and fiery and I love how she’s always unapologetically herself, even when it shoots her in the foot. She’s not the traditional-type character to bring to Sokovia considering she is very much a civilian, but I think her personality can definitely bring some fun.

IC PORTION; DETAILS —

WHAT BROUGHT YOUR CHARACTER TO SOKOVIA? It’s a little complicated. She applied for a job at the UN in Sokovia to be their Goodwill Ambassador, and somehow someway she’d gotten through the first several rounds of interviews. She had gotten a job with a charity working out of Sokovia for the moment as well, as a back-up just in case they went with someone else. But, surprisingly enough (or so it felt to her), she’d gotten the job. The charity work and the Goodwill Ambassador job went hand in hand, and MJ found that it was more joy-bringing than she’d thought it would be.

DID THEY SIGN THE ACCORDS? WHY OR WHY NOT? This isn’t exactly applicable, considering Mary Jane is most definitely a citizen, however she would certainly not have if she was on the other side. 

PROVIDE 3-5 HEADCANONS RELATED TO YOUR CHARACTER: MJ is a chain smoker. She’s tried to quit, though those have only ever been passive attempts at best. She does not do well when she’s off her nicotine. She’s also a fan of the other kind of mary jane, if you catch my vibe. MJ blogs, has a YouTube channel, and practically lives on TikTok. She’s verified on her social media platforms, and has a pretty big following. She still has fans from her Broadway runs and from her short-lived fame on Netflix, and so she does her best to stay relevant and keep them despite her current break from acting. The term ‘social media empire’ comes to mind, even if she feels weird about her claim to fame. MJ lives in high heels and generally dresses nicely. She has a very firm belief that first impressions matter most but all impressions matter. She always wants to look like hell on wheels, even if it’s impractical at times. She usually saves jeans and t-shirts for time at home only, and even then finds herself more comfortable in a dress. Despite having a party girl persona and having dropped out of college, Mary Jane is intelligent. She excelled in history and English courses in high school and in college alike, though her passion was in performing. She’s obsessed with trivia games and trivia-type TV shows. Wheel of Fortune is absolutely her favorite. She’s also super fond of reality TV, the more mind-numbing the better.

POTENTIAL CHARACTER ARCS: Maybe a potential Iron Spider or Spinneret arc? I love civilian!MJ, but I think this would be interesting. This would be a little complicated and would require a lot of thought and plotting, but maybe down the line! IS THERE A THEATRE/DANCE PROGRAM IN SOKOVIA? BECAUSE MJ WOULD BE SO DOWN TO RUN ONE. TEACH LITTLE KIDS BALLET AND SHIT. GIVE HER THAT. Nomad-y things. MJ obviously wouldn’t be affiliated with the rebels from the jump, considering her position in the UN. However, she may gravitate towards at least a sympathizer down the road, considering her connections with Tony.

CHARACTER BIO —

Mary Jane was the second born child to Madeline and Phillip Watson, the first being her older sister Gayle. Her father was a professor, though changed jobs often, resulting in multiple moves throughout Mary Jane’s childhood. Her father wanted to be a writer, not a professor, though his books never succeeded. This led to anger that was often taken out on his family, usually while drunk. Mary Jane was in middle school when her mother decided that enough was enough - her father had been turning on her mother for years, but he’d finally turned on one of the girls. The three left Phillip for good.

Unfortunately, the constant moving didn’t seem to stop. Mary Jane’s mother still moved them around often, usually to be near relatives. Her mother usually worked as a waitress or a bartender, relying on tips for income, which wasn’t always stable. Thankfully, her mother’s family was kind, and would help with the girls as much as they could. Her mother went back to school, deciding that she and her children deserved more. Mary Jane’s favorite relative to stay with was Aunt Anna, who lived in Queens.

The frequent moves caused Mary Jane to have a rather extroverted and fun-loving personality, a way to try to get noticed and make friends quickly. She knew she would never be in one place for long, so she tried to remain care-free. She never allowed herself to get too close, because she knew it would only be so long before she would be moving again. It was easier to have a lot of people she barely knew that were fun to be around than to have a few close friends she would have to say goodbye to.

She was fifteen when her mother got sick, and things went downhill quickly. Mary Jane watched her mother wither away before her eyes, and vowed in that moment to never take life for granted and grab it by the horns. After her mother passed, Mary Jane refused to move back in with her alcoholic father. Part of her blamed him for robbing Mary Jane and her sister of quality years with their mother, and memories of the abuse were still fresh. Instead, she went back to the home where she’d always been the happiest - Mary Jane moved in with her Aunt Anna in Queens.

Her life of the party attitude and fun/over-the-top personality quickly gained her friends in school, though Mary Jane still had trouble letting people in. she knew she wouldn’t be moving again this time, but it was somehow easier for her to have her walls up. People liked her, she liked them, and she told herself that was enough. It wasn’t, really, though it was all she knew how to do. She participated in the drama club and the choirs at school, as well as in community theatre.  This was where she made her true friends, where she made real connections that actually meant something. She had Broadway aspirations and spotlights in her eyes, and worked hard to perfect her craft. However, later in high school she found she had to put some productions on the back burner to get a job to help support the household she was living in. She mostly did waitressing jobs, though found a few assistant/secretary type positions to hold down as well after school.

Mary Jane was accepted into NYU’s musical theatre program at Tisch, and starred in many of their productions. However, she learned that in the real world, auditions were hard to secure and she found obtaining roles was even more difficult. She’d been praised so heavily in high school and during her time at Tisch that this was a harsh slap to the face, though she didn’t give up. She worked at Ellen’s Starlight Diner while in school, and was cast in the off-Broadway production of Heathers as an ensemble role and an understudy to Heather Chandler. Shortly after, she was finally cast in a Broadway production. She was cast as an ensemble part in American Idiot, and she’d never been happier.

After securing her first role, Mary Jane’s name slowly made its way around. She dropped out of school after a lot of consideration, deciding to devote her full attention to work. Her second show was Wicked, another ensemble role though she became Elphaba’s understudy after a few months. She left for the Spring Awakening tour, where she was cast as Wendla.

When the tour ended, Mary Jane experienced a huge wave of auditions due to praise she’d gotten from critics. She landed her first TV role, the main character for a show on a Netflix YA murder-mystery series. Unfortunately, as things went in that genre, she found her character killed off at the finale in the first season. She was brought back to film some flashback type scenes for season two, and then her contract was completed. The rise to fame was quick and unforgiving - MJ went from near constant press and finally feeling like she was making it to nothing. She returned to New York and experienced a drought in auditions, which many actors face. While she knew that, it was a hard pill to swallow after success, and she didn’t want to go back to the diner. An opportunity arose (mostly thanks to her sister’s husband, who worked for Stark Industries and brought up her name and vouched for her) and Mary Jane found herself working for Stark Industries. She was the personal assistant to Tony Stark, and MJ found that she and F.R.I.D.A.Y. worked well together and that she didn’t hate administrative work. It wasn’t acting, but it was a job, and Mary Jane was more than competent in the role. She proved to be organized and efficient, and MJ liked it more than a little. However, before long, the events of Sokovia transpired and MJ found herself without a job. To be fair, she’d quit, finding herself unable to work for Simon Trask and deciding that she’d rather find other opportunities elsewhere.  She’d snagged a role in an off-Broadway production she wasn’t really feeling, and found herself applying for other positions, surprisingly in charity work and using her time at Stark Industries as a reference. She loved performing, would always be an actress at her core, but she found herself searching for something more meaningful. Her time away from film or stage had made her think more clearly on what she wanted in life, and she couldn’t help but feel like she needed more. She snagged a job for a charity in Sokovia, which Mary Jane only really knew about due to the press that had been drawn in after the events that transpired with the Avengers and with the Sokovia Accords. She found herself in the last round of interviews for a job at the UN in Sokovia as the Goodwill Ambassador (she was the right kind of famous, is what they said), and with the charity job already secured, Mary Jane was booking her ticket. 

EXTRAS —

MYERS-BRIGGS: ENFP Sin: Greed & Pride HOGWARTS HOUSE: Slytherin ZODIAC: Scorpio

[crusherthedoctor]

The Lutrudis Hadeer Design Concept Masterpost

Every now and then, I get the occasional question about my very own Lutrudis, which I'm always gladly willing to answer. Yet for all the times I've answered such questions, it seems some folks are still a bit left in the dark as to how Trudy came to be. So I figured I could make one big post all about the creation process. Maybe not every single detail per say, but at least everything that I think is worth mentioning in a post of this sort.

I'm aware that fellow pal @benignmilitancy​ covered this subject herself recently, but I might as well do my part to back up what she said.

1. When did Lutrudis become an idea?

The basic idea for Lutrudis - and indeed, the setting of Viridonia and Beyond the Stars itself as a story - was thought up as early as 2014. When I say basic idea however, I really do mean it, as aside from the general concept of her being the latest Friend of the Week helping Sonic and Co fight evil on her home island, very little else about Trudy was set up, including her name and species. While some aspects of her personality were already set in stone by that point, I focused on the design first when I decided to go ahead and make her and Beyond the Stars a real thing. The idea being to use what personality traits I had in mind to create a mental image, then use that mental image to help figure out the rest of her traits, as a design can often help out with working out a personality.

So basically, I scratched my back, so that I could scratch it again. Made sense to me.

2. Why a horse? Is it because friendship is magic?

Maybe...

Actually, I wanted a species that hadn't been used before, at least in the games, its continuity being the one Beyond the Stars takes place in. But at the same time, I also wanted to go with a fairly mundane species rather than anything rare, extinct, or extravagant, as I felt that the latter would undermine the story arc that I had in mind for this particular character. Compared to the likes of Sonic, Shadow, or Blaze, Lutrudis is more akin to Amy in the sense that she's ordinary by comparison, despite her living conditions and the magical brand of ammo she eventually decides to use. To have the arc of a “normal” lady becoming a hero in her own right be represented by a T-rex or a dragon wouldn't really land the same impact in the context of this universe.

Already, I was quickly warming up to making her a horse because of this. But then I realised that many of Trudy's personality traits - her loyalty, her passion, her elegance - were ALSO commonly attributed to horses in real life. And if you're not aware, I'm a big fan of letting Sonic and Co have character tics representative of their species, and a horse in particular had plenty of potential to have some funny and cute moments by letting their horsiness show itself. This additional thought helped make my decision on the matter final.

...Well, that and I wanted Trudy to have longer hair than the average Sonic female due to how, IMO, short hair wouldn't work as well for her. Obviously horses have manes, so that made it easier to get away with than it would have if she were a hedgehog, though it also helps that Trudy's hair is never any more detailed than the rest of her, meaning her hair actually looks like her own rather than her wearing an overly detailed wig to appease a certain disgraced comic writer, one of whom I will probably have the entirety of Beyond the Stars uploaded by the time he actually does something with his echidna libido-fueled comic at this rate... Looking forward to it in 2030.

As for what kind of horse she is, I decided to go with an English Thoroughbred, if only to further justify Trudy's English accent, which is nonetheless fairly mild compared to everyone else in Viridonia, who sound as though they jumped out of a 90's Rareware title.

3. “THIS IS WHO I AM... But who am I?”

Believe it or not, but even by 2016, I still hadn't decided on what to call my little pony. I had already figured that whatever I was going to call her, it would abide by the same naming convention as Amy Rose, Miles Prower, and Ivo Robotnik, to help further add to the aforementioned notion that she's an ordinary lady who wasn't born with any superpowers. That, and because “___ the Horse” doesn't have the same ring to it as “___ the Hedgehog” or “___ the Echidna”.

So what did I do?

I looked up a list of female names for baby girls. Duh.

Well, it worked out, because I stumbled across “Lutrudis”, which was German for “strength of the village”. The more I repeated it in my head, the more it appealed to me. Sometimes, you can have various names that mean the same thing, yet one in particular will just have that perfect sound to it. That was me with this name. This horse being named Lutrudis felt right to me, even if I perfectly understood that it was perhaps a bit more exotic than your usual Sonic anthro name.

Not that it mattered too much, since I was quick to think of “Trudy” as a nickname for her, since in addition to being less of a mouthful, that name - also German in origin - had a similar meaning, “universal strength”. Fit her character and arc just as well.

So that was the first name sorted, but what about the surname? Well, when looking at a selection of appropriate words, I stumbled on “Hadeer”, and while the Arabic meaning of the name is slightly unclear - some sources say “adventurous”, others say “sound of the water falls” - I felt that the meanings associated with it were all equally appropriate regardless. Then I combined it with the first name, said the full name over and over again in my head, and thought “Yeah... this sounds correct.”

I realise the irony of a part-German, part-Arabic name being associated with an English character, but considering this is the same universe where a man who is presumably not Polish is given a Polish term for a name (Robotnik), I think we can let it slide.

4. “You guys know what EDS is, right?”

It's no secret that another friend of mine, @greenyvertekins​, has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which has a lot of unfortunate complications to it, but in laymen's terms basically means your body is more fragile than that of the average person's. This condition is rather rare, so much so that a majority of people have never heard of it. Sure enough, I was one of those people, until I became friends with Verte.

After hearing Verte talk about her EDS and what she's had to go through, along with doing my own research on the condition, not only was I considerably more informed on it, but I also felt very sympathetic to not only my friend, but everyone else who has had to experience it, particularly with how ignorant other people continue to react to it due to lack of public awareness. It made me want to do something in dedication, and in the process, a certain pony eventually crossed my mind.

This wasn't done for the sake of appeasing blue checkmarks on Twitter. I genuinely wanted to help raise awareness of EDS however I could, and I considered that perhaps its inclusion in my story would help do that, so long as it didn't sacrifice everything else about the story or forget that it was still a Sonic the Hedgehog story. Yes, it's a fanfic, and thus not as well known as a Hollywood blockbuster or a bestselling novel, but if even a few people were to end up learning about EDS through Lutrudis, I would be happy.

However, I was well aware that the idea of a Sonic character having EDS might be seen as a bit jarring, and if done badly, could potentially be accidentally insulting. So I made sure to consult Verte about it, saying that I would only go through with it if she was comfortable with me doing so, and made it very clear that I would try to make its representation as tasteful and as faithful as I can, despite the inherent nature of the Sonic universe that Trudy is part of.

By the way, horses in real life can fall victim to very similar disorders, so that was yet another reason why I went with that choice.

5. “Hey Benign, I'm shite at art, please help.”

I can't remember the exact conversation that led to it, but after I talked to @benignmilitancy​ about Lutrudis, she offered to bring the character's design to life through her mad art skillz. Initially I was hesitant to take up the offer, since I felt guilty about having to rely on someone else to show people what my own character looks like, but I was giddily honored by the offer and decided to agree as long as she was willing. Luckily for her, she wasn't working with a blank canvas so to speak, as I had a relatively complete image in my mind regarding what Trudy would look like, having already reasoned to myself why this or that would apply.

When putting my vision into words to Benign, I mentioned that...

- Since Trudy is the same age as Rouge, logically that should mean she's given a similar mature build as the latter, as opposed to the pipe limbs you see with the other female characters. Since Trudy spends a lot of time with Amy and Cream and has a lot of motherly interactions with the latter in particular, it helps signify that she's older than them.

- Being a horse, she would have two slits for nostrils rather than the usual dot nose that most characters have. Similarly, though you don't see them most of the time anyway, her feet are grey hooves, but they abide by the usual Sonic-style feet rather than being more realistic ala Clove's hooves, if only because the latter didn't look right for this character IMO.

- To add to her gentle warmth, her eyes would be a honey shade of brown. Just like how Cream has brown eyes. Again, it's like poetry, they sort of, they rhyme. Every stanza kinda rhymes with the last one. *shrug* Hopefully it'll work.

- Since EDS tends to apply several subtle physical traits to those who have it, at least some of them should logically apply to Trudy as well. Those with EDS often have a bluish-grey tint to their sclera, and they also tend to have paler skin than most, so Trudy would have those qualities too.

- To emphasize her love for Mother Nature and all its amazing sights, and also to contrast with Amy and Cream's colour schemes, Trudy herself would be green, albeit a more gentler green rather than the brighter tones of Vector and Jet, while her clothes would be blue, with slightly different shades depending on the clothing to prevent her from looking like a drab curtain. After a few initial sketches, Benign eventually suggested that some of her clothing could be changed to brown to balance out her overall colour scheme, as well as to further add to the subtle nature motif by having brown (trees) go along with blue (water) and green (grass). Needless to say, I wholeheartedly approved of this idea, and decided that the best placement for the brown sections would be for her leggings and glove cuffs.

- Speaking of, as a nod to her equine status, she would wear leggings that could pass off as Equestrian jodhpurs. (Not that she has an aversion to wearing skirts or dresses, since she's girly and tomboyish in pretty much equal measures, compared to how Sonic females usually lean towards one or the other.)

- People with EDS are unable to wear heels since they can hurt their feet, so heels were out of the equation for this little horsie. But I also figured that regular shoes or sandals wouldn't mesh well with the rest of Trudy's clothing, so I went with boots that were flat at the heels. They can allude to her adventurous streak AND allude to how there's a lady willing to kick ass behind that quiet, mellow, introverted demeanour. Plus, much like how being stomped by a real horse's hoof would be very painful to put it mildly, so too would being stomped by this horse's boot.

- Seeing how Trudy's arms have permanent scars on them - permanent scars being another common effect of EDS - she would wear elbow-length gloves over them, since she wouldn't be comfortable with showing them publicly. Note however that she would still wear long gloves even if she didn't have those scars, since they genuinely happen to appeal to her fashion tastes as well. Covering the scars up is just a bonus. And since long gloves are often associated with royalty and high class, they're also suiting for a lady who lives in a fancy castle (despite not being royalty).

- Her hair is kept in a big bouncy ponytail, not unlike Coco Bandicoot or Shantae, since it's both cute and tomboyish... that and because the visual pun of a horse with a ponytail was too good to resist, let alone it humorously mirroring the general shape of her actual tail.

- To contrast with Sonic's spiky quills, a lot of Trudy's design is emphasized to have a round quality, such as her tail, her ponytail, and her sloped ears. To add to this design philosophy, she would wear a headscarf similar to Wave's. Me and Benign contemplated on whether Trudy's muzzle should be more blocky like that of a real horse, before we agreed that the softer muzzle fit both the round aesthetic and her general character better.

- Trudy has trouble breathing in colder temperatures, and she also has a sensitive nose that reacts strongly to heavy scents. As such, she would have a bandanna that she could cover over her mouth and nose to help out with either of those things whenever the situation called for it, or any other scenario where she deems it appropriate. It helps that a bandanna suits a horse anthro anyway.

Truth be told, I was worried that I was coming off as too demanding. But Benign assured me that giving all these details helped rather than hindered. In any case, I was more than pleased with the final result, as it was precisely spot on to what I had in my head, although even her initial sketches during the work in progress were great stuff.

6. If Amy uses a hammer, then Lutrudis uses...

Trudy has surprising arm and leg strength despite her appearance, which is mainly due to her horsie genes. But since she's still got EDS, it's still wise for her to equip herself with a weapon or two to even the odds. I contemplated a few ideas in this case, including a quarterstaff, but ultimately I decided that the following would be a little more interesting, while still remaining appropriate for the character in question.

I thought to myself “What's stopping her from having two weapons, one for short-range, the other for long-range?” I decided on the long-range weapon first: bow and arrows, the latter of which would eventually include the Ethereal Zone-powered crystals inside the cavern below her castle. Goes without saying that a bow suits her elegance and how it can be used from a stealthy distance, and the use of the crystals and their different abilities also helps to keep the reader guessing on what exactly is the nature of the elusive Ethereal Zone itself. I also reasoned that Trudy using a bow was a nice contrast to Amy's hammer, although I'm aware that Amy herself used a bow in the Fleetway comics. But no one uses a bow in the games (yet), so it's fine, right?

As for her short-range weapon, I thought it'd be funny if she had a whip that resembled a riding crop. Not only would it be used to give Eggman's robots the Simon Belmont treatment, it could also extend up to a certain distance to help grapple onto things and allow her to overcome areas that would otherwise cause complications for her body. Is it a bit ludicrous? Maybe, but so is a blue hedgehog fighting a Roosevelt lookalike. You just kind of have to live with it.

So there you have it! Everything you need to know about how Lutrudis Hadeer's name, species, design, and EDS came to be finalised. Now when you turn her into a monkey without my knowledge or permission for the sake of dunking on her because you don't approve of me making fun of Kingdom Hearts rejects, at least you'll have a better idea on what you're actually talking about. :^)

[rimmers-swimming-certificate]

Red Dwarf fanfic - Comatose (9/16)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 |  part 6 | part 7 | part 8

This was a stupid idea. Lister hadn’t even wanted to do the jigsaw in the first place. Not really. It had just been something to fill a bit of time. When he had found it too frustrating, he had given up. Now, he was sitting on Rimmer’s bunk, watching with increasing frustration as Rimmer now gave it a go.

“That one,” Rimmer said, pointing at one of the pieces scattered on the table. He moved his pointing finger to a gap at the edge of the partially completed jigsaw. “Put it there.”

There were two skutters at the desk, one on either side of Rimmer. The skutter on his left reached down with its claw-like hand, and tried to pick up the jigsaw piece. It slipped from its clumsy fingers back to the table.

Lister folded his arms and sighed. “Forget it, Rimmer,” he said. “It’s just a stupid jigsaw. It doesn’t matter.”

Ignoring him, RImmer addressed the skutter. “No, you dim-witted excuse for a robot. They had more sophisticated machinery than you in the 21st century. Maybe even the 20th. Watch me, and try to copy what I do.” Rimmer reached out and placed his finger above the jigsaw piece. He slid his hand towards himself, leaving the piece where it was, and mimed picking it up as it teetered on the edge of the table.

The skutter tipped its head to the side like a dog observing its master, then tried to copy. The jigsaw piece slid across the table, off the edge, and landed on the floor.

Rimmer gritted his teeth in barely concealed frustration. He pointed to the other skutter. “Now you,” he said. He pointed to another jigsaw piece. “This one. Just like he did, only don’t drop the smegging thing on the floor. I know you won’t, because you’re nowhere near as stupid. In fact, you might be the best skutter we have.”

The second skutter moved itself rapidly from left to right like a dog wagging its tail. It slid the jigsaw piece to the edge of the table, clutched it between two of its three fingers and held it aloft triumphantly.

RImmer turned to look at Lister, and Lister nodded. He had to admit, that was better than he’d managed to get them to do, and faster too. “So, how about getting them to put it down in the right place?” he said.

“Ah,” said Rimmer, “well, that’s a tad more complicated, but here we go.” He turned back to the skutter. “Right,” he said, he pointed to the part of the jigsaw where the piece belonged. “Put it there, try to make the picture match up with the parts around it.”

The skutter hesitated. It moved its arm so that the jigsaw piece hovered just over the jigsaw, and then let go. It fell to the table, bounced, and landed upside down.

Rimmer pushed the palm of his hand into his face, then turned to look at Lister. “See what I mean?” He turned back to the first skutter. “Now you,” he said. “This other skutter’s useless, I can already tell that you’re so much better.”

Lister sighed. “Honestly Rimmer, give up. If it takes this long for every piece…”

“It doesn’t,” Rimmer told him. “Or, it won’t, anyway. They are capable of learning, eventually. Once they know how to do it, they’ll do it on command.” He paused, then shrugged. “Well, for a while. Eventually they’ll forget and you need to do it again, but with a bit of persistence you’ll get a good couple of weeks out of them.”

Lister got to his feet, crossed the short distance between the two of them, and clapped Rimmer on the shoulder. Rimmer flinched in surprise, still not used to physical contact, then turned to look at him.

“Thanks, Rimmer, really. But don’t worry about it. I get the idea, so I can try it sometime if I get really desperate for something to do, but it’s just a kids' jigsaw puzzle, don’t waste your time.”

Rimmer frowned. “Really?”

“Really. I don’t even like jigsaws that much. It’s just something to do that’s not too much effort, and when it takes this much work…”

He was interrupted by Holly appearing on the viewscreen. “Alright?” she said.

Lister turned to look at her. “Hey, Holly. What’s up?”

Holly frowned. “Er…” She hesitated, trying to remember what she needed to say. “Oh yeah, Kryten wants to see you down in the medibay. Says he’s got news.”

Lister’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected this so soon. A spark of hope ignited in his chest and he turned to look at Rimmer. “Think I’m getting better?” he asked.

Rimmer didn’t answer. Lister spun around and raced out of the door.

   *****       *****       *****       *****       *****       *****       *****       *****     

The medical unit was louder than normal. The bleeping of the heart rate monitor was at least twice its normal speed, while the display monitors were updating information every few seconds. The body on the bed looked exactly the same as it always had, despite the hive of activity around it.

“What’s up, Kryten?” Lister said as he entered the room. “Am I better?”

The mechanoid was wringing his hands in a very upset-looking way. Lister came to a dead stop, and was almost bowled over by Rimmer running full-pelt into the back of him. He stumbled, but managed to right himself.

“No, sir,” Kryten said. “You’re… he’s…”

Oh smeg. Lister swallowed and glanced behind him at Rimmer, trying to gauge his reaction.

Rimmer looked tense, his mouth pressed into a thin line. “Spit it out,” Rimmer said to Kryten. “He’s what exactly?”

Kryten stuttered for another couple of seconds before he managed to engage his vocabulary circuits again. “You’ve taken a turn for the worse,” he said. “You had a seizure. It’s finished now, as you can no doubt see. Still, I thought it pertinent to inform you.”

Lister stared blankly at the mechanoid, trying to force himself to process the words that he was hearing. The bleeping of the heart rate monitor was slowing now, and the machines around him were changing their displays less often. “What do you mean I had a seizure?” he asked.

“Well, sir,” Kryten told him, “in basic terms, I mean that you suffered convulsions; you had a fit. You…”

“Yes, thank you Doctor Bogbot,” Rimmer interrupted. He stepped forward, placing himself directly between Lister and Kryten and folded his arms. “Somehow, I don’t think he was looking for a list of synonyms.”

“Oh. No. Of course…” Kryten floundered a little, then fell into silence.

Lister tried to rephrase his question, but for some reason, his mouth was refusing to work properly. He opened it and tried to speak, but the sound that came out was more like a squeak than actual words.

Rimmer spun around at the sound of the squeak, grabbed Lister by the arm and pulled him toward the nearest chair. “You, sit down,” he told him. He applied downward pressure to Lister’s shoulder until he gave in and collapsed into the chair. “You,” he said, rounding back onto Kryten, “Give a sensible answer this time, please.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” Kryten said, addressing Lister rather than Rimmer, “I assumed you were unfamiliar with the term, so I sought to clarify.”

Lister shook his head. Now he was seated, he felt like he could think again. Sort of. “I know what a seizure is, Kryten. What I want to know is why? And will it happen again?”

“And what does it mean for his recovery?” Rimmer added.

Kryten looked at them both. “I’m not sure,” he said. “On all counts. The medicomp is running diagnostics on you, and at this point all I can do is wait for the results. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Absolutely fine. Nothing to worry about at all.” He began tapping the medicomp nervously, increasingly quickly.

Lister leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. He nodded. “Good, okay, so how long will it take to get the results?”

“Just another few minutes, sir.” Kryten tapped the medicomp again, so fast now that his hand was a blur, the sound of the nervous tapping only added to the noise level of the room. “Just try to stay calm,” he said, in a very not-calm tone, “nothing to panic about.”

Lister took a deep breath. A few minutes. He could cope with that. Although, he could probably cope better if Kryten would stop his furious tapping. “It’s definitely going to be okay though, right?” he said. “I mean, I had a friend at primary school who used to have fits, and it never did him any real harm. A couple of times a year he’d just collapse in the middle of P.E. and start flopping around like a fish out of water. Scared the smeg out of me the first few times, til I figured out what was going on.”

“That he had epilepsy, you mean?” Rimmer said.

Lister shook his head. “No. Well, yeah, he did, but the meds took care of that. Turned out he just didn’t like playing cricket, so whenever he saw the teacher go in the cupboard where they kept the bats and the wickets, down he’d go. Then he’d get up, say he felt a bit woozy and go hang out in the nurse’s office for the rest of the lesson. Nobody ever questioned it, because why would they?”

“Well,” Rimmer said, “that’s fairly despicable behaviour. Imaging exploiting a disability like epilepsy just to get out of a P.E. lesson.”

Lister shook his head. Rimmer was probably just jealous because he hadn’t been able to do the same thing. “He got his comeuppance in the end though,” he said. “Got a job at a bank, last I heard he was on the management track.”

Rimmer frowned. “So?”

“So? So he probably ended up a bank manager. Poor bastard.”

“Sir, the results are coming through now,” Kryten told him.

Lister looked up.

“Oh,” said Kryten.

“Oh what? Is that a good ‘oh’ or a bad ‘oh’?” It was a bad ‘oh’, he was sure of it...

Kryten read the information again. “It’s good. It’s… good-ish, anyway.”

Lister glanced at Rimmer again, trying to decide how to interpret that. Rimmer shook his head, equally baffled. “Kryten, ‘good-ish’ is not a diagnosis. What is going on?”

“It’s... inconsistent,” Kryten clarified. “I think it was probably just a blip; one of those things, but the medicomp needs to run more tests to be sure. In the meantime, why don’t you go and relax? I’ll tell you as soon as I have any news. Which will be good, I’m sure.”

One of those things? Lister shook his head. “Relax? After this? How the smeg am I supposed to relax?”

Kryten shrugged. “I don’t know, sir. I noticed a jigsaw puzzle in your quarters the other day. Maybe you could work on that?”

(next)

Thanks to @norwegianpornfaerie for the beta, and the advice on writing Kryten :-)

[diabetesfreedomrevi]

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