#tumblr dont you know how mentally ill we are on this website

[8thavenueserenade]

why are like all of my tumblr ads for intermittent fasting

[selfundiagnosed]

Insane that my mom ran the most popular patrick stump archival blog on tumblr + was a full time lawyer + was raising two mentally ill kids + doing culinary arts school + having a cookie business. I think its her autism i wont lie. But now its all catching up to her and she has no energy which would be the ehlers danlos fault this time.. tried to convince her to steal her old url back but on cohost so she made an account but couldnt immediately make side blogs but boy oh boy. she would be giving the fall out boy fandom what they want and more. Shes like i cant do it again i have no idea how i did it before im like ma! its called having boundaries. Shes like i cant do that when i have a special interest its called autism. Im like right but queue posts for once a day and find 30 pictures from a photo set and boom one months worth of posting fall out boy and you can conserve your energy. But she doesnt know how to do her special interests in moderation. Im honestly just glad she went and accepted a bunch of access to her mega archive folder thingy. But shes so mad she doesnt have access to like her actual archive bc the website she used go archive everything changed their subscription plans and she has so many photos it would be like a zillion dollars she doesnt have 😭 like bogus i remember photo storing websites were so free. Take me back to 2010 for real :T Anyway she used to get so mortified when i told my friends as a teen about her blog i actually told her coworker once and her coworker somehow RETAINED the url and went home and looked at her blog and she was so upset at me 😭😭 but now like she kinda doesnt give a fuck anymore bc fall out boy was her special interest for an entire decade and she’s over it. Obviously still a big big fan but not in bandom anymore. Her new special interest is a band i introduced her to when i was 13 and its kinda cringe so i dont talk about it but she also ran an archival blog for THIS band and i told my friend at a sleepover who liked this band about her blog and they fucking FOLLOWED HER and shit bricks and my mom was MORTIFIED. But anyway yeah she doesnt gaf now if i tell people she was this blog and i even posted a tiktok about it once and people started doing detective work that would make her autistic self so proud…. Bc thats what she was good at! sleuthing stalking detective work on the band. Pete wentz privately answered several of her asks on tumblr i’ll see if she can send me the asks and their responses. But yeah she doesnt care anymore. her original url was scrubbed by tumblr and shes very angry about it bc it was an original bandom url for patrick stump so shes like wtf ever i dont wanna touch this im so mad. Which SAAAAME. ive done that so many times. She started permitting access to people who requested it for one of her photo archive website thingies she left in her last post. But yeaaaahhh… she was patrick stump for halloween in like 2008 and she won the costume contest bc she had rhe coolest sideburns and looked so much like him. My first ever concert was a fall out boy concert in spring 2007 i was 6 turning 7 within the next few months lemme just say the music video for carpel tunnel of love played on the screen as they played the song and my brother and i was so traumatized. But then immediately they played this aint a scene after that and we were like HELL YEAAAAAAAAA. And my brother (5 at the time) and i knew every single song and sang along and my mom went look at everyone else no one else knows these songs. You guys are so cool. And we looked around and yeah no one was singing the songs and were sooo excited! Oh and theres that one time she recorded us singing keep it simple by cobra starship and THEY PUT IT ON THEIR MYSPACE PAGE AT THE TOP WE FLIPPED SHIT. i wish THAT video was still up. Shes also met fall out boy so many times and walked away from patrick stump while he was talking to her bc she didnt want to take up his time at a meet and greet. Omg. so many memories. I was literally raised in online bandom thats so insane. Maybe thats why im a homosexual

[spikeinthepunch]

Well, I didn't expect to be sitting down an deciding to write a lengthy personal post about the app, Vent. But its shutting down for good in literally two days. If this was any other situation where it slowly just became inactive but stayed up, I wouldn't mention it. But an app shutting down for good is a big deal, and I'll cross my fingers that I get sent the data I requested.

Vent is an app I feel like everyone seems to be aware of but left and forgot after its boom in 2016-2017. no one really says that they use it, most left it after that period. its pretty well known for weird and absurd kin posts and drama and other nonsense. having been on it since it launched, i saw... so much. so so much.

Having gotten to it around age 16, that app houses a huge amount of personal posts I made on an app I considered the best place to dump some of the most private, venty things. Boy does it catalogue a huge series of development and mental growth. And above all stands as a lesson to myself on how to manage such personal things around others online. What is to be said isn't me forcing a lesson on the reader, but just expressing what I learned- because in those teenage years it was easy to want to have all my online friends involved in seeing my vent posts. That Age on tumblr, that culture around validation and mental illness- I wanted validation and post interactions. I vented a lot, teen years sucked- this seemed fine to do from my unaware mind but it caused so much tension, stress, and drama in my closest relationships that I still wish hadnt occurred- but can accept that behavior years later... i was just a teen, it wasn't surprising. Getting your bestest friends in a private closed circle of venting is not as good of an idea as you'd want it to be, to say the least. Especially when you're teens and dont have therapy.

But that is to say- Vent became its best to me when I closed it off entirely to everyone except for one good mutual I had gained purely through Vent, and eventually one key IRL friend. Me, two other people. That was it. It turned into a diary for years after I chose to do that and it had been very useful for me. One or two people I didn't mind getting a glimpse into things, especially after i matured and learned to...better control and understand how to vent in a healthier way. It was somewhere I went to maybe once a month, maybe less frequently, to just... throw out a huge post documenting my feelings and important thoughts from the last many weeks. Great big summaries I'd have no energy to split up into a priv twitter thread, or post on public blogs.

Growth. So so much growth. So much in all those posts and all that time. Almost 8 years of my incredibly personal thoughts sit on that app and it sucks knowing that place will be gone for good. There could be a miracle but it seems unlikely.

For those never on the app, or stopped using it ages back- Vent has been a mess for a long time. It has gone through various changes in hopes of keeping it alive- for years its just been all over the place. It barely functions most times. It's been limping for years now and it was always a joke to me that it hadn't gone down yet. It seemed inevitable- and here we are! Gone on the 28th of Feb, and it was only stated a few days ago. And theyd been promising they had an alternative..

Losing things like this sucks, because it is a part of the internet. People love to say nothing truly goes away on the internet- and thats just not true. Time and time again we lose apps and websites with no backups or way to view them reliably. Newer age technology makes this especially harder to preserve. While I and others have requested our data, there will be hundreds if not thousands of accounts left to vanish after Vent shuts down, especially given the incredibly short notice.

So, RIP Vent, you were already dead for some years anyways. But I appreciate what I made of it and its a shame I can't think of any place where I could keep this kind of diary up still.

[lostacelonnie]

Thats entirely fair i don't think anyone trusts tumblr to work correctly tbh. Ive just been feeling the seasonal blues a bit. Ah heck why do teachers always do that instead of letting up on the workload. I do have a bit of chill time coming up thankfully which will be great because i need rest & to holiday shop. Oh heck i cant imagine that like. Americans are a mixed bag of overly friendly & minders of their own business but a place where its all overly friendly would be a culture shock to me. That feels like the universal experience with talking to native spanish speakers just. Yeah we can guess kinda what's bein said through context & gesticulating. Finding a few recipes you can do & rolling from there is just how it goes i imagine. But ive been cooking for many years so i had to branch out to keep some variety otherwise meals would be boring. I have wireless earbuds but only because like. People talk to me often when im not expecting it & it bothers me a lil because the mental illnesses so its easier to listen to stuff & use that as my reason for not hearing them. Australia truly is the land of wild shit. Its got that category on lock. Wow thats like. Complete spectrum opposite teachers? Almost? Maybe? Though how does a math teacher not know counting was she just tired one day or is that common? Thats entirely fair i don't think anyone trusts tumblr to work correctly tbh. Ive just been feeling the seasonal blues a bit. Ah heck why do teachers always do that instead of letting up on the workload. I do have a bit of chill time coming up thankfully which will be great because i need rest & to holiday shop. Oh heck i cant imagine that like. Americans are a mixed bag of overly friendly & minders of their own business but a place where its all overly friendly would be a culture shock to me. That feels like the universal experience with talking to native spanish speakers just. Yeah we can guess kinda what's bein said through context & gesticulating. Finding a few recipes you can do & rolling from there is just how it goes i imagine. But ive been cooking for many years so i had to branch out to keep some variety otherwise meals would be boring. I have wireless earbuds but only because like. People talk to me often when im not expecting it & it bothers me a lil because the mental illnesses so its easier to listen to stuff & use that as my reason for not hearing them. Australia truly is the land of wild shit. Its got that category on lock. Wow thats like. Opposite spectrum of teachers maybe? Though how does she not know counting was she just tired one day? Noted for sure ill pay closer attention to the honkai meta. Yknow i hope what a herscherr is gets explained because i still dont know. Oh thats cool to know i will make a note of that polish phrase to try & remember linguistics can be fun. Ah yeah for sure they actually put effort into like. Making neuvillette have a story & be interesting & it shows. Only genshin male i care for probably. Oh hey stigmatism gang. Im farsighted with a stigmatism also so same hat. I always forget about talents & weapon leveling but it works out its all good. A 7 am as well jeesh are you good? This arc is very good & i cant wait to see where it goes wataoshi owns my attention now. Oh yeah i saw you mention noita how is it? Damn. Thats a lot of lore shoutout to himeko the mvp. Love her. What exactly is a honkai anyways are they like. The antimatter legion from star rail. Or well are the legion like the honkai beasts? Also do you have any seele lore? Also also glad you saw the polish post i had hope you would

this website will forever be scuffed JSJDSKDJF. and dont worry me too. its Getting Bad Again but soon its gonna be the winter solstice and i always start feeling better when the days get longer again. and god yeah fr...... we literally have so many grades already CAN THEY CHILL. luckily i got sick again so i didnt have to go to school today and im guessing im not gonna have many lessons to catch up on since its our last Proper day before the holidays and we have pretty easy subjects on wednesday so. we chillen. yeah same thank GOD for the holidays. tho im gonna have to deal with my family for like an entire week which. auuugh. dont wanna. but oh well ill get through it Somehow. AND GOD YEAH with being polish is much more noticable bc ppl here just really will avoid any unnecessary interaction with strangers [which is perfectly fine by me i like not being bothered]. but yeah the gesticulation Does help a lot in communicating. at the end of the day, as long as the message gets conveyed, it doesnt really matter How that was accomplished. i usually order takeout to my school since we have a program like that so i dont really have to cook that much, but yeah i should also probably branch out SJDKGK i dont know howw much longer i can survive on scrambled eggs every time i cant eat at school. yeah fair, i use my headphones to avoid conversations as well, tho luckily i have friends that are generally chill about the fact i will just. Not talk sometimes so i dont even have to do that a lot. and yeah we actually joke about how exactly opposite they are JSKFJG and its. a common occurence. but then again my school is just Not that great so nobody is surprised. good luck with the meta!!! its hellish at first but gets a bit easier with every built valkyrie so just trust the process. AH IM SORRY i unfortunately have a bad habit of using honkai specific terms as if theyre common knowledge. my bad. but essentially, the honkai itself is like. a force, i guess is the best word? that, despite being non-sentient, has one goal: destroying humanity. it grows along with human progress. the antimatter legion is not a bad comparison, actually! and a herrscher is a person thats been, in a way, possessed by the honkai to obtain incredible amounts of power to try and carry out the honkais objective of destruction. herrschers have different. specialties, you could say? some of them are more obvious [like the herrscher or wind, thunder, fire, ice etc] and some are more abstract [the herrscher of the void, origin, domination, for example]. in the current era, with enough willpower and self control, those powers can be used by a herrscher without them losing their humanity. it gets a bit more complicated than that but thats the basic rundown. ANYWAY COMING BACK linguistics will always be fascinating to me....... especially etymology. i love etymology. AND YEAH SAME i thought the day would never come in which i would care about a genshin guy and yet. also hey were matching......... i used to also always forget to level up talents but since traces are a bit more accentuated in the star rail tut it kinda carried over to genshin for me i guess. 7 am classes have caused me to go through all stages of grief but, just like those, i have reached Acceptance. at least theres less people on the bus so i can sit down. AND YEAH YEAH YEAH THE LOVE SCALE ARC HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE....... i love manaria. terrible wingwoman. very charming and handsome. and about noita yes ive been playing it. a Lot recently. roguelikes are fun theyre surprisingly making me More patient than i was instead of destroying my psyche like everyone said they would. and since noita is a finnish game im genuinely having a lot of fun learning the pronunciation of a lot of the enemy names. HIMEKO REALLY IS THE MVP FOREVER AND ALWAYS. I LOVE HER. i do in fact have seele lore and as previously i shall put it under the cut!! and im actually designed to sense and reblog all polish posts o7

as with himeko, i wouldnt consider myself an Expert on seele lore [if you have any further questions and/or want a more in-depth analysis of her, i would redirect you to tumblr user crowties] BUT i do know it. decently well. it goes without saying that this is also gonna contain massive spoilers.

so, seele's [as well as bronya's!] backstory is mainly showcased in the azure waters manga [although, do be warned that it features themes such as: physical and psychological abuse, child soldiers, pedophilia, and [minor on minor] attempted sa]. but moving on from all that.

seele grew up in cocolia's orphanage, in siberia, where she also met bronya after she was picked up by cocolia. she was also born with a certain condition, being a natural stigma [stigmata in the honkaiverse are manifestations of honkai energy which people are very rarely born with, but schicksal for example uses artificial ones to boost valkyries' combat capabilities]. that very stigma belonged to the herrscher of death in the previous era and is fully sentient! im gonna call her veliona so that its harder to mix them up but do know that theyre both referred to as seele in the game [and its actually a pretty important part of their identity that theyre both seele]. now the thing about seele and veliona is that you think theyre gonna be a terrible did stereotype and then theyre. Not. as in veli, at first, does act like "the evil alter" but shes actually just pretty mean but wants to protect seele. since seele is just. Very fragile due to being, you know, a timid 12 y/o.

in the orphanage, another one of the kids was sin mal! she exists solely to be a terrible person but i heard that wasnt the case in guns girl z so i defend her anyway. sin was jealous over the fact that bronya and seele became so close despite seele being weak, so she PUSHED BRONYA DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS AND BROKE HER LEGS???? shes that kind of person i guess. seele actually saw it happen but she was too scared to do anything. which, understandable! sin is extremely volatile.

seele then gets Kidnapped by child sex traffickers but bronya singlehandedly finds her and murders everyone responsible. seele is pretty horrified because 1. bronya [also 12] just killed a bunch of people in front of her and 2. she saw a manifestation of veliona that made her feel Happy that this is happening. veli is not very good at communication and also genuinely considers herself a terrible person at that point in time so that doesnt help with the evil alter allegations but oh well.

then. cocolia, at the request of anti entropy [allegedly?] starts carrying out child experiments, meant to make people achieve 100% honkai resistance. the people selected are bronya and sin, but seele volunteers in bronyas place since theyre pretty dangerous. right before that, however, sin attempts to assault seele, which veliona does Not let slide, so she rips out sins tooth and then traps her consciousness in an illusion in which she pushes her down the stairs and then slices off her fingers. good riddance.

however, the x-10 experiment Fails and seele falls into the sea of quanta, going missing. tho right as its about to happen, veliona actually uses a lot of her power to let seele see the sea, because she made a promise with bronya that they would go together someday. right as shes about to reach bronya, her power runs out and they completely disappear into the sea.

when bronya finds out about about this, she wants to take the x-10 test herself to try and find seele. cocolia doesnt want to let her go so that SHE DOESNT LOSE MORE CHILDREN, but bronya shows that shes gonna kill herself if cocolia doesnt agree and so she goes. during her test, she. actually manages to reconnect with seele for a while! they kiss and make a promise that theyll see each other again. however, due to bronyas legs still not being fully healed, she actually gets pretty badly hurt [with her legs needing prosthetics, as well as damage to her emotive circuits] during the test and is forcefully disconnected. seele manages to manifest bronya a robot project bunny. somehow. it helps her move and is also a giant cannon.

after this, seele and veliona float in the sea of quanta for 4 years. they grow quite close to each other during this, tho still maintain some distance because veli is just. not very sociable. veliona also makes a deal with an entity called the serpent [which i believe was confirmed to be kevin? but dont quote me on that] because he promises that hell get them out of the sea if they help him escape as well. veli is fully aware hes taking advantage of her but she has to try everything. when bronya jumps into the soq during the herrscher of reason arc, she manages to find seele! at first, velis deal with the serpent forces her to fight bronya, but during cyberangel seele and bronya end up working together. seele is also the one who makes bronya survive contact with the core of reason. as theyre escaping from the sea, bronya almost gets left behind, so seele and veliona achieve full unity during dual ego [IM INSANE ABOUT THEM. I AM INSANE] and they leave the sea.

after that, seele is admittedly Not that present in the main story [tho she does appear a couple of times!] until the moon arc and later the salt snow holy city arc, which is also the best part of the game because i said so and i am always right. SERIOUSLY THO SALT SNOW ARC IS MY FAVORITE IT IS SO GOOD IT IS SO-

anyway. seele and veliona are the protagonists in this one! i would so happily tell you the story but im also unfortunately too tired to give a detailed description of THE ENTIRE ARC so ill keep things short. when dispatched for a mission in nagazora, seele [and susannah! susannah is in this arc. i love her] gets dragged into a bubble universe by misteln [who, due to some events in the moon arc, veliona has extreme beef with]. but its actually a pretty bad thing because, due to the unique structure of the universe [that being, its actually two universes overlapping, one acting as the normal world and the other as the afterlife], seele and veli get separated. this causes significant mental distress to both of them. however, eventually they manage to reconnect! which also accidentally makes them the sage of the universe [a special role, usually reserved for one person] since they fulfill the criteria of being able to traverse between life and death. the problem is, theres..... already a sage....... and the universe starts collapsing. after a fight, the previous sage gives up her powers and seele gets sealed in her tower to act her role. it turns out that her becoming the sage wasnt what actually triggered the collapse, and so the team [consisting of seele, veli, susannah, kira, niggurath, senti, misteln, prometheus, vita, and schrodinger] works together to try and prevent it in another way. a Bunch Of Shit happens which i love very deeply but would also take way too long to explain, and seele gets separated from veliona, eventually becoming the herrscher of death [but, vita decides that seele is a far too gentle person to be called that, and so she becomes the herrscher of rebirth]. they manage to save the universes, and also free vita from being a pawn to sa, the force destroying the universe. they get to return home after that :)

i am extremely normal about seele and veliona [they give me mental illness]

[papirouge]

Do you think ivf and sperm banks are 'anti christian'? I'm noticing more women around me choosing that route! instead of choosing to date and marry a man to have a baby. It seems like when women are socially forced to settle with a guy that doesnt even like her only tolerates her, everyone suffers. Just recently I learned of two women who are "older" virgins (like 36/37+) having babies via ivf and sperm banks. They seem so over the moon and their kids are so darn cute 😭 and I'm thinking of doing the same since I'm going to head into my 30s in a few years but I'm not interested in alot of guys. Alot of guys near me are really kinda just violent and hostile to women in general and follow red pill ideology so they just value women as walking wombs with an expiration date. It's all so depressing to even think about a date with them because it's dehumanizing. I'd love to connect with someone and share my life with but not with someone who believes that I should be thrown away at 30. I've recently began my journey into christianity too so I'm wondering if my plans for the future are something that doesnt align with scripture? Because some Christian's I've spoken too dont even like addressing that asexuals exist, if I remain a virgin until 35 and go through IVF idk what they'll think. Probably freak out... 😬

Anon, don't let the antics desperate people are willing to go as far to let you think any of this is okay, moral or healthy.

IVF goes against the will of God in that FAMILY is a ministry between TWO parent and their child. IVF is barbaric as it normalizes the destruction of natural filiation between parents and children. It also gives the entitlement to people to have children when no one is entitled to parenthood. Especially single people.

There's nothing wrong to be in your 30s and not being interested in men or marriage. Tumblr is a suffocating place on this aspect because you have to navigate between rabid anti theists elevating individualism, lust of the flesh and refusal to commitment as some sort of holy grail AND tradcons obsessive about marriage and breeding like it was the be all and end all of our existence. The most intelligent stance is to fall into neither of these extreme and do your own thing.

You are unique, anon. There won't be another you in the universe. And it's better for you to be dedicated to find your own, unique way to walk through this life, rather than trying to mimick the antics of lost individuals desperate to fall into a mold.

I know this world is scary anon.I'm in my 30s, and most men around my age either disgust me or make me indifferent. None of them is husband material. I could pull out the stale "God will find us a spouse" thing but tbh, not every Christian is entitled to marriage so I don't want to make statements that are untrue. We might as well end up celibate...and that's okay. Life is more than romance and marriage and sex and babies.

I won't lie and say I'm not dreading at the idea of never Knowing Love though. But I regularly pray to God to retrieve from my heart this longing for Love and companionship if that's His will to make me celibate. Resilience is the best defense against surrending to sin out of desperation (i.e your friends doing IVF).

Some Christians on this website be legit awkward about asexuality. I addressed a few asks ago how stupid it was of them to argue it was remotely like a mental illness...🤦🏾‍♀️ You really should take anything coming from them with a huge pinch of salt.

[subsystems]

Hello, I would like to add a point to your syscourse exploration...I think a point that’s not talked about is for traumagenic systems, seeing the endogenic stuff, it feels like a mockery of the pain they went through. It’s not as ‘valid’ of a point as bringing up the DSM definition, but still I think that it’s a factor behind some of the ugliness that goes on

I think that this is a very valid point, actually. It’s a lot more significant than people give it credit. During my deep dive, specifically when I was looking at how syscourse started on Tumblr, one of the main things that “kicked it off” was actually how many people believed endogenics were ridiculing or mocking DID/OSDD and the trauma attached to it.

This is because (controversial statement alert) terms like system, multiple, and multiplicity were never shared between people with and without DID/OSDD...in a widespread way! There actually was a community of non-dissociative plurals and DID/OSDD plurals who shared terminology and spaces, but it was pretty small and isolated at first. They mostly existed in secluded mailing lists before moving to Livejournal and then eventually moving over to Tumblr and Twitter.

I’d highly recommend reading this post on my archive blog. You’ll see that terms like system, multiple, and multiplicity were usually used to exclusively mean DID/OSDD. This was much more widespread. So, when Tumblr allowed these two groups to be exposed to each other, the different terminology usage caused all sorts of confusion. Look at some of the posts below...

“Person #1: Your Headmates/Multiple Systems are bullshit. They do not exist. That is all.

Person #2: Have you ever heard of Dissocaitive Identity Disorder? It’s not made up. It’s a mental illness, it’s in the DSMV and everything.

Person #1: I’m not going after D.I.D. I’m going after Multiplicity.

Person #2: DID is the clinical cause of multiplicity. You can’t attack one without attacking the other. Are there people on here faking headmates? Yes. However there are also many people on here that genuinely have DID, AND therefore will be very distressed by your post.”

(Post from 2015)

“Person #1: Can we fucking stop head mates and multiple systems? That’s making real disorders like schizophrenia and DID seem fun. Stop twisting disabilities to make them seem trendy. Come on now.

Person #2: People with DID are making DID seem trendy 8(”

(Post from 2016)

It’s easy to understand why the people who saw system, multiple, and multiplicity as exclusively DID/OSDD thought that natural multiples were claiming to have DID/OSDD. Because of that, I found so many people with DID/OSDD who expressed that they were hurt by the concept of natural multiplicity. I also found a large amount of people (singlets and DID/OSDD) who believed that natural multiples were people who intentionally roleplayed mental disorders. Many people thought it was meant to be a mockery or ridiculing of DID/OSDD.

Take a look at some of the posts below...

“Explain this, world? Please? I do not understand. I have DID. it sucks. its hard. The Trauma in my life was repeating and excruciating, and it will take years to undo the damage. Everything is hard I ahve mental problems abound and DID happened, to preserve myself. I feel made fun of when people talk about multiplicity, like it can be normal. I feel like they are pretending, or just want to have fun while its a fad. My alters dont get along they dont talk they fuck shit up and dont know how to do the things I do, and nobody except my boyfriend knows who they are.

I dont GET IT AUGH”

(Post from 2014)

“I’m not open about having DID because its generally thought to be some combination of roleplaying, otherkin, and ddlg- largely thanks to the rise of sexual littles and endogenic/natural/kin systems!”

(Post from 2016)

“are some of you aware that you are on a website where people literally think cats, vampires, toddlers, ‘flying dogs’, buildings and such live in their heads, and that defending the ‘rights’ of these attention seekers and fandom roleplayers who appropriate dissociative identity disorder is considered the pinnacle of liberal activism”

(Post from 2012)

“honestly the thing that pisses me off with the natural multiplicity community is how they can’t seem to understand that then entire basis of natural multiplicity is claiming to have the ‘fun’ symptoms of DID/OSDD-1 without the bad symptoms that invariably come with it. it literally started as an internet trend because DID is apparently one of those disorders that people love to fake to seem cool and edgy.

you can’t just claim to have symptoms (ie alters) that exist only in DID/OSDD-1 whilst having none of the symptoms that are inseparable from it. it doesn’t work t hat way. and for fuck’s sake stop linking astraea’s web it’s an unreliable source and pretty much all of the information on it is incorrect and\or extremely outdated.”

(Post from 2016)

Anyways, thanks for sending this ask! I hope you found this stuff interesting. I’ll be talking about it more in my essays and on my archive blog @pluraldeepdive​. =)

- Sunflower

[snekdood]

~hidden between the branches and leaves

lies a hundred stars beyond the trees~

about:

hi u can call me snake or animal, im a shapeshifting trickster elf, im a man, im 26, he/him, and im a vegan (but not annoying about it, and no, none of my vegan takes are about targeting native americans tyvm 😌 idgaf what they do.), anti fascist, solarpunk and eco friendly, and i really like to draw, cook, garden, sew, carve and make bead bracelets with gemstones and learn new things and grow and change everyday :^) oh also i like weed 🌿 ओम नमः शिवाय

im not perfect, but neither are you, so lets make it work.

stay wyrd ✌️

art | comic → deviant art | insta | youtube | twitch | links | hate mail

to whom it may concern, here’s information you definitely don’t need to know about from my bio at all and probably haven’t even earned the right to know about but that ppl will demand out of me regardless surely: 

BASICALLY IM OFTEN SEEN AS “WHITE” BY PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES NOT AND IT USUALLY DEPENDS ON HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT ME MOMENT TO MOMENT, LEFTISTS BEING CHARITABLE ABOUT ME TRY TO SEE ME AS BEING MIXED, LEFTISTS BEING UNCHARITABLE ABOUT ME TRY TO SEE ME AS WHITE, RWINGERS BEING CHARITABLE TOWARDS ME TRY TO SEE ME AS WHITE, RWINGERS BEING UNCHARITABLE TO ME TRY TO SEE ME AS MIXED, MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL. I DO NOT CONTROL HOW PEOPLE TREAT ME. I DO NOT OWE YOU DISCLOSING WHAT ETHNICITIES I HAVE IN ME ESP SINCE I DONT EVEN REALLY KNOW ANYWAYS. WHITENESS IS A FAKE USELESS DIVISIVE CONCEPT CREATED BY WHITE SUPREMACISTS. YES I UNDERSTAND WE NEED TO HAVE CONVOS ABOUT IT SINCE THEY MADE UP THE TERM AND A LOT OF “WHITE” PPL ARE ATTACHED TO THEIR PRIVILEGE OF BEING SEEN AS WHITE. BUT ULTIMATELY IT IS A TERM I THINK WE NEED TO GET RID OF. “THE MASTERS TOOLS WILL NOT DISMANTLE THE MASTERS HOUSE”, ETC. I THINK DISCUSSIONS ABOUT COLORISM IS MORE USEFUL, BUT STILL ULTIMATELY DIVIDES PEOPLE INTO BOXES THAT PPL CANT EVEN AGREE ON SO IDK. I THINK CULTURE IS MORE IMPORTANT AND TELLS YOU MORE ABOUT SOMEONE THAN SKIN COLOR/TONES, AND ALL YA GOTTA KNOW IS IM A EMO MIDWESTERN MURICAN’ WHO’S BASICALLY HAD TO INVENT MY OWN CULTURE FOR MYSELF. I'VE NOT BEEN MISTAKEN FOR BEING BLACK, I DO NOT HAVE DARK SKIN, AND DONT CLAIM TO BE BLACK OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. SOME PPL ASSUME IM OF SWANA OR NATIVE AMERICAN DESCENT SOMETIMES, BUT IDK WTF IM MIXED WITH ENTIRELY. I DONT CLAIM TO BE MIXED OR ANYTHING EITHER BC I DONT FUCKIN KNOW, BUT IM ALSO NOT WILLING TO SHARE WHAT ALL I DO KNOW I’M MIXED WITH, BC YALL CANT BE TRUSTED TO NOT PUT THINGS IN PRISTINE, NO LINE-BLURRING, B/W BOXES THE WAY WHITE SUPREMACISTS WANT YOU TO DO. I’M NOT GONNA CLAIM THAT IM NOT WHITE, OBVIOUSLY SOME PPL PERCEIVE ME TO BE, BUT IM ALSO NOT GONNA SAY THAT I AM BC I DONT IDENTIFY WITH WHITENESS BC I DONT THINK WHITENESS IS REAL. AND SINCE I GET MISTAKEN FOR OTHER STUFF AND DONT KNOW EVERYTHING ABT MY ANCESTRY ANYWAYS, WHO FUCKIN KNOWS. WHY DOES IT MATTER. LOOK AT MY FUCKIN INSTAGRAM IS YA WANNA KNOW WTF I LOOK LIKE SO BADLY. AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT BE BEGGING ME TO JUST “TELL YOU” I AM ALSO BEGGING GOD TO TELL ME SO I CAN TELL YALL TO SHUT UP BUT I WILL PROBABLY NEVER KNOW AND I THINK HOW PPL TREAT ME IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER IN MY SITUATION.

BE HONEST: THE ONLY REASON YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT MY “RACE” OR ETHNICITY IS IS SO YOU CAN KNOW IF YOU CAN YELL AT ME ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS. FUCK OFF AND DIE IDK, FIND A HOBBY MAYBE

I have expressive language disorder and severe anxiety. i also have seizures and i might talk abt it sometimes. other issues too that i dont feel like I need to mention that’s really relevant to tumblr, all you need to know is im mentally ill bc of severe trauma.

reasons i dont want you to follow me:

I used to have a paragraph in here about having “discussions with people i disagree with” but something about this website makes people incapable of not being bad faith assholes so idc to try anymore. maybe I will if I actually think you’re being good faith but that hardly ever fuckin happens on here, so, I’m not waiting around to find out anymore. it’s impossible to have productive conversations on here I’ve concluded.

anyways, aside from that:

terfs/tirfs/swerfs/radfems out, baeddels out, transmeds/truscum (still dont know the difference) out, pedophiles/pedo apologists/maps gtfo, white supremacists, ethnonationalists, racists, nazis, hindutva’s, fascists in general out, ancaps out, authoritarians out, class reductionists out, mls/tankies out, accelerationists out, anti theists suck and should gtfo too

[send your hate mail here, i prolly wont be reading it tho]

[belfrygargoyles]

the tags on that post went on way long ive never reached the tag limit before.

but honestly it is really important to me that people start learning the limits of what can and cannot be helped irt mental illness and neurodivergency, both from the standpoint of someone directly experiencing it themselves and from that of a bystander in someone else’s life looking in. Particularly with adhd specifically because that’s just the one I have myself and have both experienced and witnessed the most “reason not an excuse” type treatment as a result, and also the one I’m getting the creeping feeling is being more widely accepted as ‘cringe’ to have and talk about online.

But that’s just a feeling I get without much to back it up. I don’t see much of it firsthand because I don’t really frequent many different circles or websites, but I get hints of it from the way certain posts are spread around and just knowing the ways things tend to go. Usually in the form of the odd story or screenshot from another platform about someone who used RSD as an excuse to avoid being held accountable in a very ‘2013 tumblr’ way (ie when it was much more common (in my personal microcosm I guess) for people to take that very particular victimized stance whenever someone tried to hold them accountable for literally any minor thing, usually with “cry typing” and citing some reason why it was uncalled for to ‘attack’ them, usually using a mental illness or trauma to try and make whoever confronted them look like the villain by taking on a ‘I’m just soft and helpless and I can’t help it, you’re personally causing me to have a mental breakdown’ approach to conflict. I will clarify. I think the reason why I don’t see this as much anymore is largely due to the fact that a lot of us have grown up and learned how to take criticism, and I don’t see as many new young tumblr users in their early teens as I used to. The site climate has changed since then, but I wouldn’t be able to put my finger on just how exactly.)

...and also in posts about people who say “I can’t help it, it’s my hyperfixation and it’s important to me” when asked about why they still like and avidly post about certain things that aren’t. Great. How do i say Parry Hotter and Tooster Reeth without saying it. Things that have long since been exposed to be rife with bigotry and the continued support of which not only supports the continued creation of harmful content, but also raise the question of how a fan can continue to enjoy it if they themselves don’t share the same beliefs. I do believe “hyperfixation” as a word has been taken and applied so often to so many things that aren’t a hyperfixation, that a lot of people think it just means “I’m a big fan of this thing” and it’s lost the significance it used to have as a term for a more specific experience.

And with both RSD and hyperfixations not being exclusive to, but very commonly considered a part of adhd for many people, the way I see it going is less “ha ha let’s laugh at people who are misusing a word to cover for their immature behavior” and leaning more towards “adhd is a cringe condition to have and you’re going to curve from feeling more comfortable discussing it openly right back around to point A of being ashamed and embarrassed because you don’t want to be made fun of”

Now, is this a concrete trend I’m seeing a lot of? Again, no, because I stay in my own corner and curate my experience well enough that I don’t often come across bad takes about adhd, but it’s more just a general feeling of dread anticipation based on patterns I’ve seen before.

...But. yeah. There’s a line between acknowledging and accepting that someone is mentally ill and knowing that they will have symptoms that are unpleasant or inconvenient but supporting them regardless, and enabling and excusing harmful habits and behaviors that exist as manifestations of that mental illness. I think a lot of people have a really hard time telling when what approach is needed, and, not wanting to risk accidentally encouraging harmful, unhealthy, or ‘embarrassing’ behavior, default to the ‘judge and shame’ mode.

There are a lot of conversations to be had about this. Regarding how people who are mentally ill finding ways to examine and recognize their own behaviors, what is a symptom, and what level of control they have over it and how to manage it in a safe and healthy way, regarding people who /aren’t/ mentally ill learning when it’s right to say ‘i’m sorry you’re experiencing that,’ when to say ‘i’m sorry you’re experiencing that, but it makes me feel x when you say y and i want to discuss how we can work it out for us both,’ and when to say ‘i’m sorry you’re experiencing that, but you need to chill/i don’t have to take this’ without taking the judgmental route that ends up hurting more people in ways you didn’t intend, and regarding the fact that people just /love/ to make fun of anyone who doesn’t act ‘normal’ and when it’s brought up that hey, actually what you’re saying is in fact something a lot of people with x condition do/experience and the way you’re talking about it is very hurtful, people say ‘no i dont mean the people who actually have x, i just meant the other freaks who do x’ and it’s like :/ y’all hear yourselves sometimes?

[thatawkwardbookthing]

Before I start my rant I’m just gonna slap on a giant trigger warning for self harm, suicide, eating disorders and almost all things in between

Okay so I know this has been said so many times before but it’s not said enough, especially on this hellsite but can we PLEASE STOP ROMANTICIZING SELF HARM AND EATING DISORDERS. Seriously. STOP. I was talking with someone on Wattpad cuz I was reading a fic with self harm and like one of the characters mentioned how old they were when they started. Naturally, everyone in the comments was talking about their stories, how old they were, how/why they started, if they were clean and it’s fucking heartbreaking. I couldn’t scroll through all the comments there’s over 400 hundred of them but the youngest ages I saw were 8 and 9 though the overall average seemed to be 12. But I want that to sink in. FUCKING THIRD GRADERS ARE SELF HARMING!!!! And you wanna know how they found out about it??? The fucking internet. SPECIFICALLY TUMBLR!!! Me and this person were talking and sharing our stories we were both in middle school when we started and we had both heard about self harm on tumblr. There’s so many post romantazing self harm. Pictures of people’s scars with shit like “I’m just an angel trying to get back home” or calling it a “special kind of art”. Shit like this is the reason we started!!!! It’s so fucking normalized on here. Like we were kids and we saw this shit and thought “so this is what you do when you’re hurting” no one was there to tell us it was wrong. IN FACT THE POSTS ON THIS FUCKING WEBSITE PRACTICALLY ENCOURAGED IT!!! And it’s not just self harm!!! It takes less than 2 seconds to find thinspos and strategies to starve yourself. Ways to induce vomiting for weight loss. How to fucking starve yourself without your parents noticing. AND WHEN YOURE FUCKING TEN YOU SEE THESE THINGS AND YOU TAKE THEM AS FACT BECAUSE EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE DOING IT SO YOU THINK ITS OKAY. AND ITS FUCKING NOT!!!! Like yeah we need to talk about these issues but DONT ROMANTICIZE THEM CUZ KIDS IN FUCKING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ARE SEEING THESE AND ARE THINKING ITS OKAY!!!!!!! And I know that sometimes romanticizing it can help you to deal with the guilt that comes with it or to encourage you to stick with the weight loss strategy but please please please find other ways to do that. Seek help!! Talk to someone! Because romanticizing mental illness and self harm makes literal fucking children think it’s okay!!!! PLEASE PLEASE ROBLOG THIS!!!

[aha-yikess]

honestly fuck tumblr

woke up this morning to find my blog deleted for literally no fucking reason apart from the fact that I have anorexia so thats GREAT! 

(( PSA: i was @/aha-yikes so if any of my friends see this pls follow me bc i cant remember usernames im sorry i miss you :c )) so im going to post a long ass rant bc no ones going to see it bc my 700 followers all got DeLeTeD!!!!!! im really sick of this horrible, nasty, insidious stereotype that surrounds eating disorders, particularly anorexia, and the idea that every person with an eating disorder is trying to body shame other people into joining this hungry cult or some shit. any time anyone posts anything talking about eating disorders, they cop so much shit for encouraging others or giving other people ideas, which is fucked up for two main reasons. 

1. thats not how this fucking works. eating disorders are a mental illness, not a fad diet. no one tells people talking about depression or anxiety to stop talking about it bc its going to give depression and anxiety to someone else. 

2. its incredibly isolating and harmful to people already feeling alone and scared and mentally drained to tell them that they’re not allowed to discuss their struggles or else they’re monsters who are ruining other peoples lives.

a majority of people with eating disorders dont encourage others to have an eating disorder, because we of all people know the reality - that this is an illness and it ruins lives and it fucks you up. in fact, the only people that i have seen actively promote eating disorders are predatory fucking perverts that message underage and sick girls asking to be a personal coach because they get some gross pleasure from helping people starve themselves and you bet that THEIR accounts are all up and running!! obviously there are the select few ed sufferers that actually do inadvertently promote ed’s in the form of meanspo, ‘ana tips’ etc, but every person that I’ve directly spoken to on this website has been kind, supportive, and just wants to be able to talk to other people about an experience that is incredibly isolating and scary, and tumblr, as a forum that is quite ‘seperate’ or ‘hidden’ compared to other social media sites, is a safe place for a lot of people, and its fucked to get completely deleted from this website without any warning first.

im also particularly angry because i tried really hard to not be a triggering blog for others. i didn’t share my weight on my posts, i didnt share those ‘anorexia bootcamp’ diets or whatever, i didn’t share ana tips, i didn’t answer when people asked me for advice on how i lost weight, i didn’t post any inappropriate content, any meanspo or sweetspo, all my posts had trigger warnings, i wasn’t tagging my posts with any recovery tags, i had a warning on my blog. this was purely a place where i could share rant, talk about my struggles, and connect with other people who were going through the same thing as me. and fuck you tumblr for taking that away from me and so many other people.

next time delete all the pedophiles, porn blogs, robots, spam accounts, racists, sexists and literal nazis before targeting mentally unwell people. thanks. fuck you. 

[sickeningradiances]

tagged by @cishethiruzen tysm!! ♥

What was your last

Drink: orange mirinda with ICE bc its SUMMER

Phone call: i dont remember but i dont talk to anyone else but momther

Last text: i just checked my texts and theyre all from bank and me asking the operator how much money i have...

Last song: Dehumanized by Disturbed

Last time I cried: its been some time! a good month! so im gonna say a month back from frustration

Have you ever dated anyone: i had.. 2 girlfriend and one boyfriend, who was a cishet, so in retrospect i hope he never finds out i discovered my gender

Kissed some one and regretted it: yep, im gonna say my ex bf

Have you ever been cheated on: not to my knowledge

Lost someone special: a few friends stopped talking to me, but im not mourning that anymore

Been drunk and thrown up: i havent been drunk for 3 years, but before that i did not throw up

List three favorite colors: gold, black, red (yes basic)

In the last year have you…

Made a new friend: yes it helped me a LOT with mental health

Fallen out of love: not yet but hopefully ill lose this stupid crush

Laughed till you cried: YEA when i killed ashe with my sparrow

Met someone who changed you: yes i’d say all of my new friends have helped me to become better

Found out who your true friends are: i guess?

Found out someone was talking about you: not to my knowledge.. Yet

Kissed someone on your FB friends list: i have no gotdamn idea whos on my fb friends list but i did not Kiss Anyone so either way no lmao

General

How many ppl do you know on your FB list irl: i have a feeling this thing is from facebook

Do you have any pets: MY CAT.... LIL SASKE, OR PIZZA JR i love him so much every day i am excited to come home to see him

Do you want to change your name: one day when i transition

What did you do for your last birthday: im Pretty sure i played overwatch as a highlight of the day

What time did you wake up today: 7:35 and i was late to work but 4 hours of sleep do that

What were you doing at midnight last night: gaming.. well i go to sleep at midnight so finishing up (and then i listened to mbmbam for 2 hours)

Something you cannot wait for: week in august when i’ll be home from work lmao AND destiny shadowkeep

Last time you saw your mother: this morning

What is one thin you wish you could change about life: about my life you kn ow... transition. but about life in general, im gonna say i wish climate change wasnt a thing and rich people wouldnt be killing planet but o Boy

What are you listening to right now: Walk away from the sun by Seether

Have you ever talked to a man named Tom: i dont think so?

What’s getting on your nerves: work... colleagues think i can write for 7 hours in this heat with my tired jello hands

Most visited website: ouch tumblr

Nickname: Pizza

Relationship status: single and dumbass

Zodiac sign: virgo

Pronouns: he/him

Fav tv shows: i dont remember..i dont really watch Anything but i do read books so here’s current two: ascension (obviously) and Ninefox Gambit (and rest of the triology) by Yoon Ha Lee

Hair color: brown, all red has grown out

Long or short: short

Height: 173cm..i think 5′7

Do you have a crush on someone: dont call me out

What do you like about yourself: i am really loving this new Can Read Books Pizza that ive never met before, i can finally focus on something for a while

Tattoos: constellation of virgo on my forearm, i want taurus next and capricorn after

Righty or lefty: right and i have to look at my arm everytime im trying to say sides

First surgery: none

First piercing: none agane

First best friend: in kindergarden i used to  have friend called Niki cause no one else liked me, so when she wasnt in for a day i just. sulked alone ajkfsk but also we could say my cousin michelle

First sport you joined: i liked and still like only volleyball

First pair of trainers: i dont fucking know

Right now

Eating: early dinner cause i had munchies

Drinking: same orange soda

Listening to: second one in same quiz.. well song changed so Words as Weapons by Seether (i am listening to only seether today for some reason)

Want kids: Not At All

Career: Ive always wanted to write or paint..but my interests dont hold for long

Which is better

Lips or eyes: eyes

Hugs or kisses: casually hugs but i woudlnt mind kisses smh

Shorter or taller: Everyone Must Be Shorter Than Me

Romantic or spontaneous: rrromantic?

Nice stomach or nice arms: ?? arms? id say hands

Sensitive or loud: sensitive.. whatever but not loud

Hookup or relationship: relationship ig

Troublemaker or hesitant: i used to be troublemaker but now hesitant

Have you ever

Kissed a stranger: no

Drank hard liquor: uhm yea im slavic

Lost glasses/contacts: never had glasses

Sex on the first date: i dont think ive had DATES but either way no

Broke someone’s heart: i think all of my exes broke up with me

Had your heart broken: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Been arrested: lmao i dont go outside

Turned someone down: that would require people to ask me out lmao

Cried when someone died: i dont

Fallen for a friend: HEY I SAID DONT CALL ME OUT

Do you believe in

Yourself: IM TRYING

Miracles: hmmm depends

Love at first site: nnooo

Santa Claus: we  dont have santa lmao but i didnt believe in baby jesus for long either

Kiss on the first date: oh Yea

Angels: i want to but not christian angels.. just some supernatural beings

im tagging (sorry lmao i have no friends) @ashesucksatowofficial @artimidas @uchithot and @lady-efriyeet hi

[lovemesomesurveys]

When is the next time you will take a shower/bath? Which one will you take? I’ll take a shower tomorrow night.

Are you currently waiting on someone to do something for you/to you? No.

As a child, did you ever get the chance to go to Disney World/Disneyland? I’ve been able to go to Disneyland a few times.

What state do you live in? What’s the best aspect about this state? California. The beaches most definitely.  

Are you someone who is really committed to politics in your area/country? No. I used to try and follow that stuff more closely, but I just can’t anymore.

When was the last time you fought with your significant other, if any?

Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? No, and no.

When was the last time you were on a boat? Where did you travel on it? It was a short ride to get to the island where the tourist destination was. This was back in like 2008.

Are you planning on going anywhere with someone, some time today? It’s almost 11PM and I’m definitely not going anywhere. I had a doctor appointment this afternoon, though.

Does your family ever have any kind of weird traditions in your house? Hmm. Maybe they’re just not weird to me because I can’t think of any right now. When is the next time you will attend a family reunion? Where will it be? I have no idea. There aren’t any plans for one as of now.

What would you consider your favorite movie from a different decade? One would be Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Do you ever take bubble baths only to relax yourself in some way? I don’t take baths, I take showers. I haven’t taken a bath since I was a kid.

Do you have any friends who act like they don’t know you in public? No.

When was the last time you sick? What were you sick with and why? Always in some way or another. These past couple weeks I had some weird bug/virus I don’t know what it is.

Do you ever tend to pull off any random acts of kindness in public? Not really. :X

Do the things you do normally have to have reasons behind them, or not? I definitely don’t always know what the reason is. Like, I don’t know why I’m the way I am or do a lot of the things I do.

What was the last job you had? Why are you not working that job anymore? I’ve never had one. Do you like cereal? What would you consider your favorite kind of cereal? Yeah. I like all the sugary bad kinds, ha.

Do you find your school to be loaded with hot guys or not so much? I’m not in school anymore.

Do you like to watch gay guys’ fashion do’s & dont’s videos on YouTube? I’ve never watched any videos like that.

What is the most visited website on your internet at this moment in time? For me it’s Tumblr.

What kind of cell phone do you have? (ex/ flip, slider, or traditional.) An iPhone XR.

Do you like riding roller coasters when you go to any amusement park? Nooooo.

Are you waiting for someone to get online on an IM program right now? Nope.

What would you consider the stupidest movie you’ve ever watched, ever? Oh man. There’s a been a few that I just can’t get into.

Who did you last say I love you to? Why did you say it to this person? My mom because I do?

Are there any people you don’t like for your significant other to talk to?

Have you ever forgotten your birthday? Did you soon figure it out? No.

When was the last time you held up a peace sign, if you’ve ever done that? I have no idea.

Would you walk ten miles just to see the person you like or love? Pfft, no. haha.

What, in your mind, would you consider to be the perfect boyfriend? Someone patient, understanding, kind, and funny who wouldn’t mind lying around watching TV with me and getting me takeout, ha.

What is one thing most all guys do that tends to make you angry a lot? I don’t generalize like that.

Would you beat up anyone at the moment, if you absolutely had the chance? Uh, no.

What color are the curtains in your room if you have any at the moment? Blue.

Who last told a lie on you? Did anyone catch them? What happened? I don’t know.

What would you consider the best kind of food you, yourself could make? All I can make is Ramen and something I can easily cook up in the oven or microwave.

Is there anyone you are currently trying to get out of trouble? Why? No.

Are you one of those people who don’t like children of any kind at all? No. I just don’t want kids of my own.

If you have a television in your room, what color is it? What brand? It’s a black Insignia.

When is the next time you’ll eat out and what do you think you’ll get? Tomorrow. I don’t know what, yet.

Are you planning on going anywhere today? Where are you going exactly? You asked this already.

When was the last time you rode a horse, if you’ve ever ridden one? Never.

Are you plotting anything at the moment? If so, is this plot against anyone No.

Do you hate it when people show public displays of affection in your face? If they’re literally doing it in my face and being obnoxious about it, then yes. But I don’t mind normal, mild PDA. Like holding hands and quick kisses. Nothing wrong with that. <<<

Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend?

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? My younger brother lives at home with us still.

Do you ever actually like going to Wal-Mart or is it regularly boring? I do. We do our grocery shopping there twice a month and I like looking at other things.

Do you have an iPod? What kind is it? iTouch, Nano, Classic, etc. I have an iPod Touch, but I haven’t used it since like 2013.

Do you own a computer that is a Mac or a PC? Why is this? It’s a Mac.

Do you own any scarves? How many would you estimate yourself to have? Nope. I don’t like things around my neck like that.

What kind of shoes are you planning on wearing today? Why is this? None. The day is over and I’m not going anywhere.

Do you think it’s weird that some people actually shave their arms? I don’t care.

Do you know anyone who has or has had any kind of mental illness/disorder? Yes. Myself included.

Do you ever go to Blockbuster? How frequently would you say you go? Damn this just really aged this survey. Blockbuster has been closed for years.

Is your mother a stay-at-home mother or does she work somewhere? She works full-time and is a caretaker for a family friend.

What food would you just want to disappear off the face of the earth? I don’t care. I just stay away from foods I don’t like.

Do movies with super heroes intrigue you in any way? Why is this? I love the Marvel and DC movies.

Do you watch those late-night talk shows? What’s the best part about them? I actually used to really be into Conan and Jay Leno.

Do you ever listen to music so you can actually change your emotion? I don’t tend to listen for that reason.

[the-unlucky-thirteen]

Hey im having a Fuck Ton of Anxiety about this and im shaking rn but im pretty sure i have osdd/did/something else and its terrifying because its a pretty much life long thing. And the more i think of it the more it makes sense and it would explain my childhood and me and my body issues and my Very Diverse Eclecticness. Im pretty sure that as i become more aware of the fact that i might have it, the more i can feel the emotions im pretty sure arent mine and thoughts that arent either? Pt 1

“Pt 2 i dont want to be faking it because thatd be a shitty thing to unconsciously fake but im also only 17 and still not in a good place. Ive recovered from my d*pression a lot already and this would feel almost like im replacing it or similar or that im regressing but idk what else to do. I cant ask to go to a specialist. I guess im hoping for advice? I would really appreciate it. -T     “

I’m so sorry about this (I also have no idea how long ago this was sent because Tumblr barely dates anything!) there’s no need to panic dear, though I completely understand that reaction! It’s scary when it feels like something’s intruding on your mind or something but it’s also a little bit of something that has to be accepted with mental illness, it’s scary and uncomfortable, I’ve seen it said many times but there’s no reason to fake mental illness, especially if it’s impacting you so personally

Age regression can happen for a lot of cases, such as personality disorders but also PTSD. It can be a little hard to tell apart and we’re honestly no expert of course, we can only speak from experience and maybe going through therapy. Age regression seems to be a reaction to unprocessed trauma often in a sense of defencelessness, like turning into a defenceless child again, so that can also be a trigger

Emotions and thoughts that don’t feel like your own can have a lot of sources like intrusive thoughts from anxiety or OCD perhaps, it really depends on the personal situation and it’s really hard to explain it for you personally I wish I could do a better job

Try to open up to people who know you and who you can trust it can be so vital to have someone keep an eye on you, someone to remember things when you don’t and to see when you aren’t maybe acting like you’re usual self (just be sure it really is someone trustworthy because otherwise they might try to manipulate you through gaslighting!) I really wish you could see a specialist because this sounds pretty serious! Please try to keep yourself level-headed, even if you don’t know what’s happening, give yourself time and try to analyse it afterwards! You can try writing things down, thoughts and feelings, and in what kind of emotion state it happens, maybe to see if it differs from personality or if it’s just moods/trauma triggers. I feel a little helpless I wish I could assist you better, maybe there’s other people online to help more personally (maybe on a website like 7cups.com  or Psych Forums? it’s all anonymous and maybe you can just vent I know these sites don’t fit for everyone) Best of luck and please be safe 🌹 

- Abbi

[patchdotexe]

i havent been active much because im stressed out over the fact that this time last year i was literally being physically tortured and almost killed several times by my ex. i know thats a very heavy thing to say out of nowhere but its a legit thing affecting me and i need people to know.

if youre friends with or follow the content of magpie anarchie, previously known on tumblr as “vindemiator” and currently known on dA and other websites as anarchisme, anarchie, or aviary:

ei literally tried to kill me. ei triggered me several times on purpose as punishment. ei physically tortured me and tried to break my arm. ei told our friends that it was okay ei did all of that to us because “we did it first” when we only got violent-- and ill admit, we did fight-- after ei did, and even then we didnt fucking torture eir.

if ei ever vented about someone named “ell”: thats us. eis probably spread rumours about us, judging by what our friends were told, and i dont have much screencap evidence to back up my claims because all of this happened irl when we lived together and i was basically forbidden to ever talk about it and was being emotionally abused into believing i deserved what ei did to me.

magpie is a legitimately dangerous person. its been two years and i still have flashbacks to what ei did to me. i have actual scars on my body i can take photos of and give explanation as to how i got them. if youre friends with or support eir after hearing this, i dont want you to be anywhere near me. if you want to keep enjoying eir content anyway knowing that ei is an attempted murderer and traumatized a mentally ill young adult ei promised to keep safe, you need to re-evaluate your life choices

[enter-the-phantom]

I was tagged by @psychgirl47

Last

Drink - CocaCola

Phone Call - My grandmother

Text - My mom

Song -  “Just Like Heaven” - The Cure

Time You Cried - Last night

Ever:

Been depressed - Chronic mental illness, yo

Gotten drunk and thrown up - Ew no

In The Last Year Have You:

Made new friends - Online!

Fallen outta love - Unfortunately, no

Laughed Until You Cried - Yes, thank you, The Office

Found Out Someone Was Talking About You - It’s a hobby in my family

Met someone who changed you - Nope

Found out who your friends are - I dunno

Kissed someone on your Facebbok friends list - Never kissed anyone

General:

Fave color - Black or green

How many of your Facebook friends do you know IRL - All but like three

Any pets - my wonderful GSD, Bear, and my tiny house panther, Luna!

Do you wanna change your name - I’ve always thought “Raymundo, Destroyer of Worlds” had a nice ring to it.

What did you do for your last birthday - Went to a restaurant. Went home. Went to sleep. 

What were you doing last night at midnight - Just got home from work

!What is something you can’t wait for - LeakyCon 2019!

What are you listening to -  Breaking Bad

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - One of my coworkers is called Tommy.

Something that gets on your nerves - Children. Also Ariana Grande and ABBA. 

Most visited website - Tumblr or Youtube, or maybe Goodreads

Hair color - dyed black currently, naturally a very dark chestnut

Hair length - below my shoulders. It’s awful. Trying to get permission to get it above my shoulders. 

Do you have a crush on someone - Well I can't really lie about this one, can I?

What do you like about yourself - I don’t know, I’m a hard worker and I’m really good at like...sleeping

Want any piercings - I’d really like snake bites.

Blood type - Half-blood

Nicknames - Abby, Enter, people at work have taken to calling me “Abbster”. Tony Stark calls me Vampirella/Draculaura/Morticia. 

Relationship Status - Married in two headspaces to two wonderful fictional boys <3

Zodiac - Aries

Pronouns - She/her

Fave TV Show - Frasier, The Office, Psych, I Love Lucy, or Parks and Rec

Tattoos - none atm, but I really want Snape’s wand on my left forearm

Right or left handed - Mostly right, but I can use my left pretty well. Or at least as well as my right, which isn’t well at all. 

Ever had surgery - Yep, I tore a ligament and thought it was just a sprain because I have a dangerously high pain tolerance. Walked around on it for years until the ligament dissolved. Was crippled for a while. Had to have other parts of my foot made into a new ligament. 

Sports: I used to take fencing. Might do it again someday. I was actually really good. 

More general:

Eating - I’m about to get some chips or something

Drinking - nothing

About to watch - Breaking Bad

Waiting to - let my iPad charge so I can draw

Want - enormous bags of cash

Get married - happily married to a fashionable dork and a gothic nerd

Which is better:

Hugs or kisses - With real people, neither. With my f/o’s, all of the above.

Lips or eyes - My boys have very pretty both tbh

Shorter or taller - I don’t really care

Nice arms or stomach - ...I dont know??? I don’t really care all that much tbh

Troublemaker or Hesitant - It depends on the situation and if the trouble is worth it in the end

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger - I kiss the head of every good dog I meet, does that count

Drank hard liquor - No. I know myself enough to know that’s not a good idea for me. 

Lost glasses - I don’t even know where mine are right now

Turned someone down - Never had the opportunity 

Been arrested - Nope

Cried when someone died - The only time I’ve ever gone through the grieving process was when Rickman died. Thanks, ASD, for making me seem like a psycho. 

Fallen for a friend - Let’s keep this at least somewhat non-depressing and soul crushing and go with the fun answer. Yes! Me and AU Sev started out as legit platonic friends when I first started RP sessions using him. Now here we are.~

Do you believe in:

Yourself - eh

Love at first sight - it really depends on the individuals involved

Kiss on first date - again, it depends on the individuals

Angels - Sure why not

Others:

Best friend’s name - Ariel and Maggie 

Eye color - green

Fave movie - The Shining, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Fave Actors: do you need to ask this? Okay, I’ll bite. Alan Rickman, Ezra Miller (but mainly because he’s my headcast for young/AU Sev), Cary Grant, Lucille Ball, Adrian Brody, Chris Pratt

I tag @its-just-chaos bc I honestly can’t think of anyone else

[smol-lil-hufflepuff]

STOP SCROLLING. READ ALL OF THIS PLEASE. I'm upset. And you should be too.

The fact that repealing net neutrality is even a possiblity of what could happen really upsets me. And I don't get upset easily.

Let me tell you why.

Repealing net neutrality would mean that people would have to pay more for access to the internet. And that price is determined by each individual provider. More for YouTube. More for Google. More for Twitter. More for Tumblr. And not everybody can afford that.

Repealing net neutrality would deeply and negatively affect numerous amounts of people. I feel like I can't form a strong enough sentence to really express how utterly terrible this could be.

Suicides would skyrocket. Hotlines and websites that offer support to those suffering through mental illness would become unavailable to those who are struggling the most.

Animals would be killed. There are websites of shelters and rescues that work towards saving animals. They wouldn't be able to broadcast what they do and the animals would suffer form it.

Small businesses would suffer. They wouldn't be able to get the word out about their business through the internet and suffer for it. Not to meantion charities who get the all or majority of their donations through the internet. Should we have countless charities suffer just because not everyone can afford access to the internet?

Social media would become harder to access. This means that relationships would get cut off. Artists become unable to share their work. Friends would be lost. Writers and content creators would loose their platforms on which they can create and get inspired. Some people's income (like youtubers) comes from their social media platform. They would loose a great portion of their audience and their paycheck would take a big hit. Online shops such as etsy and ebay would become harder to access and therefore people loose that money. Not to mention, I believe Trump puts out his words through tweets. People would loose their way to connect with what's going on in the world and //their own country//.

People would loose their voice. People are already being stifled because they're fighting for net neutrality. I learned that Tumblr is deleting posts and unfollowing people from the tag. We have our right to this. We shouldn't be shut down for speaking. Over social media, people can make a fuss about things they care about and stand up for themselves.

People would have to pay more for emails. That means that people could loose a way of getting in contact with their senators and representatives. Not only that, valuable information from school systems and teachers comes through email. Teachers wouldn't have to same opportunity to contact parents or students with information as to the course and important events such as upcoming tests or after school activities.

Thousands maybe millions of people would loose access to their interests. I love musical theatre. I want to do it for the rest of my life and no matter if I'm doing a show or not, I watch videos on YouTube, I read articles on google, I search everything I can on social media about shows. I can see clips of shows, and can read an article about tips and tricks, I can follow my favorite people, I can be informed on what shows are new and upcoming, I can listen to my favorite songs over and over again. I can do all this because of net neutrality. If we loose net neutrality, I can loose a community that I love to the bottom of my heart. It's not only me, there's people who create and share art, write stories, novels even, research things that they're truly passionate about and it'd all be lost without net neutrality.

Not everyone could afford to simply "Google it" because Google would become more to pay for. This decreases a vast number of people's access to knowledge and information. Students would struggle without sources on their school work. I, for one, use Google if I don't understand how to do something in class or preparing for a test or to find a source for a research project or to find the definition of a word because not everybody understands Shakespearean language right off the bat.

An access to the internet helps people feel like their aren't alone. To know and understand that people are going through the same things as you are, that you're not weird by doing what you do, and that your thoughts and opinions and sense of self are perfectly valid and even encouraged is wonderful and relieving and in some cases life saving. I don't know if I'd be here today without this sense of community. Net neutrality means the world to millions of people. DONT LET IT BE LOST. Fight to keep net neutrality, please, I beg of you. Write letters, send emails, call (that's the fastest and most impactful way), educate yourself about what this is and why there's so many people that are fighting for this.

Contact your local senators and representatives. Contact anyone who you can find that has a say in keeping net neutrality. Fight for it. Please.

There are so many resources out there and I'm really sorry I can't link to any posts out there but trust me you can find the net neutrality posts out there cause we are never backing down.

They vote on December 14th. Fight for net neutrality. Do something. Or you can ignore this and keep scrolling, but unless you have the money, you might not be able to keep scrolling forever if net neutrality is repealed.

Have a nice day.