#turned it into an audio track so that I can listen to it forever

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[acupoftaewithsomesuga]

Good Girl • Mingi Song

mingi x fem!reader

summary• Ateez comes to hang out with you and your other gal friends. After playing games and karaoke, the night starts to settle down. You decide to spend the rest of your night producing music. You get lost in your thoughts when Mingi suddenly comes to your room. You try to focus but you can't help but see him through your prereferral and your deepest fantasies become a reality. 

warnings• switch mingi (if you squint), SMUT (kinda filthy), smut without plot?, friends to partners, pet names (baby girl, princess, baby boy), praise kink, hickeys, big dick mingi, oral (m&f! receiving), nipple play (f! receiving), unprotected sex, overstimulation, choking, hair pulling, scratching

videos to watch before you read: 

wc• 5.7k

a/n• first time writing smut in a long time! I hope y'all like it! Please give me some requests and I will try my best to get to them and do them :)))) 

💜masterlist💜

You look around and see San and Wooyoung sprawled out on the couch. You take this as a queue to settle down for the night. “I’m going to go ahead and head to my room.” You announced pouring yourself another glass of wine. “Okay, get some rest y/n.” Hongjoong replied, flashing you a smile. You and Hongjoong were pretty close since you guys would produce music together. You would often spend countless nights joking around and having deep conversations. With that being said he knew all your secrets and you knew his. But there is one secret he will forever tease you on, and it's the fact that you like Mingi. You confessed to Joong the one night you had too much alcohol. You were both sharing secrets when the topic came up. When you told him his eyes went wide followed by a “Holy shit.” It was almost like he knew something you didn’t. You asked him why he had a cheeky smile on his face but he refused to tell you. 

You also had a fair relationship with Mingi. You talked a handful of times but it was never long conversations. Your relationship was very playful and childish at times as you would bicker at each other often. You were both pretty shy around each other at times and couldn’t find the courage to hangout with each other outside of the group. Until last week when Mingi came over to produce some music with you. You both exchanged flirtatious jokes but most of the time it was focused on producing. You were both comfortable around each other but the most that yall have ever done was hug each other goodbye. Mingi and you would be lying if yall said you didn’t blush every time you hugged him tightly when it was time for him to leave. 

You go through the hallway and make a left turn to your room. You turn on your lamp next to your desk and take a seat on your rolling chair. You open up your laptop and start your music software program. You go through all your files until you find the one you want. You place your headphones on your ears and listen to what you have already produced. You take a huge gulp of your wine letting it consume your body even more. The gears in your brain start to turn as you find places to add certain beats. Your head lightly bobs to the rhythm as you play with your keyboard to find the best notes. You get so in the zone when you produce. The beautiful track that you make forces you to close your eyes. You hum a pretty melody and sing random gibberish to see how well it goes with the song. You sway left to right thinking about the harmonies that would go well with the song. You take off your headphones and turn on your speakers just so you can hear what it sounds like. You felt that the mixing could be better on certain parts. You felt that the cords would sound better in... “A major 7.” you jumped at the deep voice and just froze. 

Your heart rate skyrocketed in the presence of someone else in your room. They were right behind you and you debated attacking or not. You place your hands off of your keyboard and swivel around in your chair. You are welcomed by a gummy smile and messy black-haired Mingi sitting on the edge of your bed. “Sorry did I scare you,” Mingi giggled. You couldn’t help but laugh and respond with “You know, I almost attacked you right.” Mingi then rolled his eyes at the thought of your tiny body lodging at him and attempting to fuck him up. “Yeah right, be honest with yourself. You wouldn’t even hurt a fly.” He expressed with his head cocked to the side and a cheeky smirk on his face. “Do that again and you will see what I am capable of, Mr. Song.” As you said that the room fell silent. 

You just stared at each other without saying a word. The tension between the two of you was extreme. All you could think about at that moment was sitting on his lap and making out with him. Followed by trailing kisses down his body till you fell on your knees in front of him. You snapped out of your thoughts when Mingi finally broke eye contact with you. And you couldn’t help but see his ears turn pink as he looked down at the floor. Oh, was he flustered? You thought as you laid back in your chair. You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh that caught Mingi’s attention causing him to give you a sheepish smile. “Is there anything that you need Mingi?” you asked. “Hmm?” he responded with puppy eyes. He was definitely the cutest when he flashed those eyes at you. He looked so innocent when you knew he wasn't. He would always put on this cute act and then proceed to do the naughtiest things. It was a part of his game and you knew it. Two can play that game. 

“You came into my room, did you need anything?” you repeat yourself raising your eyebrow. He then began looking around nervously trying to find a reason why he was in there. In all honesty, he just wanted to get some alone time with you but he was too nervous to admit that. He didn’t want to admit that he wanted to hold you in his arms and make love to you. He’d rather you admit it first so he could make his move. The way you looked tonight has him thinking about the way you would sound under him. How good would you sound from him pleasing your overstimulated core? At this point you could tell exactly why he came in here, you could see the desire in his eyes. You wanted it just as much as he wanted it. 

“Mingi?” you said with a concerned expression. Mingi’s eyes started to dart around the room as he started to play with the rings on his long fingers. “I-I just wanted to make sure you were okay! You walked away in a rush and I didn’t know if you were upset or just not feeling well. I just came by to make sure you were good and it looks like you are good because you are up making music–” He stopped rambling when you placed your hand on his. “I’m okay I promise.” You expressed suddenly getting up to sit next to Mingi on the bed. It was cute to see him all flustered especially when you had an idea of how he acted with other women. Mingi was always very flirty but when he was finally with someone he really liked his confidence switched. “Well, at least I am now.” You squeezed his hand tight and looked into his eyes. 

You were so close to each other that you could hear his heartbeat. He then intertwined his hands into yours and held onto it tight. His eye trailed to your lips and came back up to meet your eyes. You could see his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed. “You know Mingi, I really like you–” Before you could finish, his other hand cuffed your face and his thumb caressed your cheek. “So do I. Ever since I met you I couldn’t get my mind off of you, you are gorgeous baby.” His voice was lower and deeper than before causing it to send a shiver down your spine. You can’t lie the fact that Mingi called you baby made you squeeze your thighs closer together and he saw that. He took mental notes of how his words affected you and how he could use that against you. 

Mingi then moved closer and whispered in your ear, “I have been wanting you to be mine for a long time baby girl.” A slight whimper escaped your lips right into his ear causing him to smirk deviously. Your dominant behavior went out of the window as soon as he gained his confidence back. He found your weak spot and wanted to push you further. He then pulled away from your ear and looked you in your eyes. It was already challenging for you to breathe as he looked at you with siren eyes. You couldn’t imagine how it was going to feel once you got what you wanted. His demeanor changing caused your demeanor to change as well. You bit your bottom lip by impulse and grabbed onto his neck. A slight chuckle came from Mingi as he saw what a mess he already made you. He hadn't even touched you yet and you were already ready to give yourself to him. 

You lifted yourself up and saddled onto his lap, both legs placed on either side of his thighs. His hands went down your side to your waist, squeezing them. You kissed his cheek and then moved your lips to his ear, wanting to give him a taste of his own medicine. “Mingi, I have been waiting for you to fuck me ever since we met.” At your words, he bit his lip and closed his eyes. His hands then lingered to your ass, rubbing it softly. “Oh yeah?” He uttered trying to sound devious but it just came out needy. You felt him twitch underneath your core and it drove you insane. The heat emanating from you drove him insane. You moved from his ear and looked him in his eyes. “Yes.” you breathed. Before Mingi could react your lips met. It was slow at first as you both were trying to savor the moment. It was such a beautiful sight, the lights dimmed, Mingi’s legs hanging off the bed, you on top of him, his arm around your waist, one hand resting on your ass, his other hand rubbing your outer thigh, one of your hands digging your nails into his shoulder, and the other intertwined in his black hair pulling him closer. 

Involuntarily you started to move your hips back and forth causing Mingi to buck slightly into you. With that, the kiss got more intense. The kisses became desperate and eager as you both opened your mouths to let each other in. Your tongues danced against each other as y’all continued to make out. Mingi pulled away from the kiss and then bit onto your lower lip. He trailed kisses down your jaw to your neck. He started to suck on your neck leaving a big hickey on your skin. You threw your head back as he marked you. You both were drunk off of each other and didn’t know how to deal with the emotions at hand. Should we stop? You thought to yourself. You were in so deep that you couldn’t stop now. 

You heard the boys and your girls laugh in the living room which broke you out of your concentration. You looked at Mingi and you giggled “Give me a minute.” You got up and walked towards the door, locking it. You then walked to your computer to turn on music so your noises could be muffled. You turned back to the bed to see Mingi lying back, his elbows resting on the mattress. God, he was so attractive like this, ready to be touched on every inch of his body. His eyes lingered up and down your body, imagining how pretty you would look without anything on. You made direct eye contact with him as you curled your fingers around the hem of your shorts. His lips parted slightly and his breathing became hitched at the sight of you stripping right in front of him. All you could do was smirk at how needy he looked for you. You could see his print through his sweatpants and it was driving you insane but you wanted to continue to tease him. 

“You want this off baby?” you tugged at your shirt and smiled. All Mingi could do was nod his head. “Use your words baby boy. Do you want me to take this off for you?” you replied. “Fuck- yes please.” Mingi said with urgency. The way you talked to him turned him on in the most unholiest way possible. He has never had another woman talk to him like this and it was exciting him in a way he couldn’t explain. You smirked at his response and grabbed the cloth that was clinging to your skin. You pulled it over your head to show the bra that was matching with your underwear. “You are so gorgeous.” he breathed out while sitting up from the bed. You smiled at Mingi and walked closer towards him. “Just for you.” Your chest was lined up with his head. He grabbed onto your hips, pulling you closer, and kissed your chest. 

He pulled away to take off his shirt and you suddenly stopped him. He flashed those puppy eyes at you again in confusion. “Let me do it for you Mingi.” He didn't argue and just put his hands to the side. You kissed him and reached for his shirt, pulling it over his head, and tossing it across the room. You noticed his toned muscles had become illuminated by the dimmed light. Fuck he looked so good. Mingi leaned back on the bed just like he did before and you climbed on top of him once again. You palmed his face and asked “Are you sure you want to do this? There is no going back if we do.” Mingi stared at you for a second and thought about your friendship and how it would change. He had to make a serious decision with you and it couldn’t be driven by lust. Mingi swallowed the excess saliva in his mouth and replied, “I have never been so sure in my life princess.” You couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear and giggle. “Good,” you whispered, pulling his face closer to yours. 

Your lips collided with his quickly getting intense. You held onto his neck steady so the both of you wouldn’t get too rough with the kisses. Your tongue ran across the entrance of his lips and he instantly let you in. You swayed your hips back and forth on his print causing a noticeable wet spot to form on his sweatpants. A soft moan escaped Mingi’s mouth sending the vibration to your soaking wet core. Your tongues danced with each other once again as his hands found their way to your back, unclipping your bra strap. Without pulling away from the kiss you grabbed your bra and tossed it to the side. You pressed yourself close to him, making skin-to-skin contact with each other. Your hands were all over him, running your hands through his hair all the way down to his arms. One of his hands was rubbing your back while the other was rubbing your thigh. You pulled away from the kiss and started to kiss Mingi’s neck. He groaned at the sensation of your lips sucking on his skin, entangling his fingers into your hair. You slightly bit at his neck and then kissed his jaw. You then spoke softly “Let me please you baby.” He instantly nodded his head in agreement. 

With that, you kissed down his chest all the way to his stomach until you fell on your knees in front of him. Your hands moved from his thighs to the print in his pants. Mingi inhaled sharply as your hands ran across his hard dick. He maintained strong eye contact with you as he watched your every move. You reached for the hem of his sweatpants and Mingi lifted slightly so you could slide them down easily. As you pulled them down you watched as his dick slapped against his stomach. You gasped at the sight of his huge dick, stopping in your tracks. Watching the precum drip from his tip. Mingi smirked and let his tongue poke the side of his cheek at your reaction. You looked back up at him and grabbed his cock with your small hands and started pumping. He watched you, every single movement, enjoying the show. As you looked him in the eyes you stuck out your tongue and licked the precum that was dripping off his tip. You moan at the taste of him and you couldn’t wait to taste even more of him. Mingi looked at you as you took his tip in your mouth with one hand wrapped around his base. Your tongue licked circles around his tip causing him to throw his head back. “Good girl.” he moaned, grabbing the back of your head. He looked back up at you and bit his lip, barely able to keep his eyes open. 

Mingi groaned as he felt your mouth go down the length of his dick. His eyes opened wider at the sight of his dick fully disappearing in your mouth. “Oh my fucking god y/n!” he breathed as you started to bop your head slowly up and down. His hands pulled some of your hair out of your face, gripping it behind your head making a makeshift ponytail. You started to pick up the pace, staring at how he reacted. His lips were slightly parted and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. His hair was messily scattered in his face but you could still see his eyes staring at you lustfully. “You're such a good girl for me princess.'' His words made you moan, sending a vibration to his dick. Moans continued to escape Mingi’s mouth uncontrollably as you forced his dick down your throat repeatedly. Mingi’s eyebrows scrunched together and you could feel him twitch in your mouth. He was about to cum but he didn't want to just yet. 

He gripped your hair tighter and forcefully removed you from his cock. Saliva trailed from his dick to your mouth, his dick was fully coated. You went back down in an attempt to feel your mouth back up. “Fuck.” he groaned as he pulled you back again. He saw that you were so eager to keep sucking and that drove him insane. “Please.” you whimpered looking into his eyes. “Please what princess? Tell me what you want.” he said, sending a chill down your spine. “I want you to cum in my mouth Mingi.” you begged. His dick twitched in response. “Open.” he demanded and you obeyed. He pulled you closer to his dick, guiding you down his length. The eye contact was intense to the point where you could feel his eyes burning into yours. You started off slow but quickly picked up the pace. Your throat made different noises as you forced your head down in his dick at a fast pace. 

Mingi moaned and groaned loudly, feeling the whole room with unholy noises that you have never heard before. Tears started to flow down your cheeks as you continued to force him down. “Please– keep going, I’m gonna cum for you baby girl.” he expressed. You then started to moan causing another vibration to travel through his dick. He couldn’t hold it back. With a few more pumps he pushed your head down far on his length. You felt his dick twitch in your mouth followed by his cum coating your throat. You swallowed every last drop and continued to clean all the cum off his dick that managed to escape your throat. Mingi’s fingers were still tightly gripping your hair as his body twitched. You couldn’t believe you just made him cum like that. Mingi let go of your head and you sat up, wiping your mouth. 

He pulled you back onto his lap and he kissed you, tasting himself. He then lifted up and you immediately wrapped your legs around him. He placed you in the middle of the bed and showered you with slow meaningful kisses. Him being hovered over you made you feel small. You were soaked and desperately wanting to be touched. “Mingi– please I need you.” you begged wanting him to fill you to the brim. “Hold on princess, let me take care of you, okay?.” You eagerly nodded and watched as he went down to your chest and kissed your nipple. He gently licked your nipple making you hum in pleasure. His hand then made its way to your other nipple, tracing circles around it. Your heart started to race more when he started sucking on your nipple. This caused you to arch your back slightly at the feeling of his warm lips around you. 

He then moved his lips down your tummy, kissing it softly while looking up at you. He made his way to your thigh where he started to rub and kiss your inner thigh. He then reached for your panties, intertwining his long fingers with the fabric that was in the way of your core. He pulled them down revealing how soaked you were. He breathed in sharply followed by a quiet and deep “fuck.” You could feel him breathing, he was so close to you. He kissed your inner thigh and then pushed your knees up to your chest. You then felt his lips make contact with your core, kissing it gently. His tongue then licked you all the way up from your entrance to your clit, your juices dripping off of his tongue. Causing you to clench at the feeling. 

He moaned at the taste of you trying to saver how you tasted on his tongue. “You taste so good baby girl.” He expressed. Before you could say anything Mingi started to flick his tongue on your clit causing you to moan loudly. His tongue was moving rapidly making it hard for you to stop moaning. His fingers dug into your skin where he was holding you, trying to keep you still. Mingi then started sucking on your clit sending you into a spiral. It was a feeling that you never experienced before, making you clench. “S-such a go-good boy,” your moans were broken as you tried to praise him. Your legs were shaking uncontrollably and you didn’t know what to do, the pleasure was unbelievable. 

You felt his index finger slide against your entrance. A small whimper came from you as he continued to tease your swollen pussy. “Mingi please–” you begged, trying to buck your hips into his fingers. He pushed his finger into you, making you gasp for air. Both the sensation of him sucking your clit and fingering you made you arch your back and say his name repeatedly. You couldn't help but reach down and grab his hair, tugging at it as softly as you could. Mingi then slid another finger into you, sending you over the edge. He stopped sucking and went back to licking circles on your clit. You were so sensitive as you felt yourself almost reaching your high. He again picked up the pace making you moan his name loudly. 

At this point the music was useless, you kept drowning it out as your moans echoed off the walls. You gripped onto his hair tight causing him to moan against your core. He knew you were close and you didn’t even have to say it. He looked up to see your eyebrows scrunched together and all he could do was smile while he was flicking his tongue on your clit. He felt your walls grip around his fingers as you tugged at his hair. Your legs started to shake uncontrollably as you felt an orgasm coming. He slowly pulled his fingers out of you and separated your thighs further. At that moment you felt the knot in your stomach pop. A loud moan escaped your lips as you came. But he didn’t stop, he continued to lick your clit. “Mingi– oh my god please!” you screamed your other hand tugging at the sheets. You sat up and looked down and looked at the sight of Mingi’s face deep in your pussy. Your body jerked aggressively as he kept eating you out. “Fuuuck Minnngiiii!” You screamed loudly, knowing your scream penetrated through the walls. Allowing everyone to hear how he was pleasing you. 

He slowly pulled away and looked up at you. His face and mouth were soaked and your juices were dripping from his chin. The sight was so beautiful you couldn't help but stare at him. A smile formed on his face as he licked his lips. “You make the most precious sounds baby,” he cooed, making you blush. “Are you okay princess?” he asked you. “Holy shit I am now.” you breathed out followed by a soft giggle. “But now I want more of you Mingi.” You sounded so needy and Mingi loved that, he was dying to see how far he could push you and this was the best opportunity for it. “Your wish is granted sweetheart.” Mingi then got on top of you and pinned you down by your wrist. He started to kiss your lips followed by your cheek. You looked down and exhaled, being reminded of how big Mingi was. He then whispered in your ear, “Don’t worry I will go slow for you.” You grabbed his face and passionately kissed him. This kiss was slower than the other and more meaningful. 

“Are you ready?” He asked between the kisses. You slowly nodded, rubbing your hand along his cheek. Mingi took his hand and guided it toward your entrance. He rubbed his tip across your soaking pussy making you whimper once again. He slowly pushed his tip into your pussy and you gasped at the sudden feeling. He slowly pushed in some more causing you to hold onto his bicep tightly, your nails softly dig into them. He then finally pushed all the way in, allowing his tip to kiss your cervix. You both moaned at the feeling of Mingi deep in you. You were trying to adjust to his size and he was trying to adjust to your grip. Mingi took a deep breath and planted another kiss on your lips. “Wow you are so tight,” he whispered in your ear. “Just for you,” you breathed out. Mingi let out a slight moan at your words. That shit just drove him crazy and you noticed. "I'm all yours Mingi," you said into his ear. 

You then wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer to you. "I'm yours y/n," he said, attaching his lips to your neck and sucking. He slowly pulled out and slowly pushed back into you. You both moaned at the sudden sensation. You reached for his back, softly clawing at his skin. He kept thrusting into you at a slow pace making sure he wasn't hurting you. It was so nice for someone to be gentle with you and please you. You absolutely loved how Mingi whispered sweet compliments on your neck. You moved one of your hands to his head, running your fingers through his hair. "Mingi faster please, I'm ready," you begged. He then started to pick up the pace. You moaned in pleasure and dug marks on his back. Mingi let his lips press against yours, moaning into the kiss. He slowly lifted up, putting his hands under your thigh. He then pushed them up closer to your chest. 

You looked back at him and nodded your head in agreement. And with one swift movement, he pulled out and slammed into you. He hit your g-spot sending you into a trance. He started thrusting roughly in and out of you. You couldn't even moan, your mouth was just left wide open. Mingi on the other hand had his head thrown back as he started to moan loudly followed by sweet compliments, "Y/n, you are so beautiful. You feel so good. I don't want to stop." You moaned in response to his words as he filled you with pleasure, "Mingi. Baby. Harder." He then looked back down at you "Fuck." he breathed. He was hesitant but he wanted to give you what you wanted. With one swift movement, he held you close to him with his left arm around your waist and anchored both of you with his right arm on the bed. You then wrapped your arms around his neck. 

He then started to thrust in you at an ungodly pace. "Yes! Just like that baby!" you screamed as he hit your g-spot with every thrust. Your pussy clenched around his dick causing Mingi to grunt loudly. "Shit, you want it right there princess," he said in a breathy tone as he watched your eyes roll back in your head. The room was filled with moans and the sound of the bed violently creaking. Mingi put his head in the nock of your neck trying so hard not to cum. He wanted to please you for as long as possible. Giving you what you deserve. 

You could tell Mingi was getting tired by the sloppiness of his thrust. “Let me turn around, please. I want to get on my hands and knees” you moaned in his ear. He then slowly pulled out and kissed you once again. Your tongues danced in each other's mouths while his hand trailed to your nipple. Slowly flicking it, sending an overstimulating sensation to your core. You turned around and Mingi looked down. He saw your pretty ass in the air which caused him to smack it. A little whimper came out of your mouth as you wiggled your ass in excitement. He then looked at his dick and saw your juices all over his dick. He wanted there to be more on it. He rubbed your ass and lined up his dick with your entrance. He slowly pushed in your soaking wet pussy. “Fuck! Mingi!” You screamed as this position reached your g-spot better. Before he could thrust in and out of you, you started to move back and forth on his dick. He was staying still and watching you slide on him. He laid his hands on your ass and watched how your pussy was wrapped around his dick. “Holy shit baby,” he breathed, throwing his head back. He was enjoying every second of this. He absolutely felt like he was in heaven when he was inside you. 

You whimpered as you continued to move up and down on his dick, knowing exactly what was going to happen next. He then grabbed onto your waist making you come to a halt. You felt his hand trail from your lower back to your shoulder. With one movement he grabbed onto your wrist and your shoulder, pulling you up against his chest. He then wrapped his hand around your throat. “No one can fuck you better than me,” he whispered in your ear causing you whimper in response. “I’m going to fill you up babygirl.” He whispered, letting go of your neck and wrist. This caused your chest to make contact with this bed again. “Please Mingi–.” You moaned. Without hesitation, Mingi started to thrust fast and steady into your core. This causes you to form a fist with your hands and he saw. 

You gripped around his dick as you felt him slide in and out of you. You felt your juices running down your thigh as he moaned your name. He was thrusting in you so hard that the headboard attached to the bed started to knock against the wall, making a loud thud. He was hitting your sweet spot causing your toes to curl and your back to arch. You couldn’t believe this was happening. That Mingi was balls deep into you giving you the love and affection you needed. “Spank me please,” you begged and Mingi behaved. You heard a loud slap and a heat form on your ass. You moaned loudly as the contact sent a wave through your body. “Mi-Mingi,” you moaned as he continued to slap your ass multiple times while thrusting into you aggressively. He then pulled you up near his chest once again by your wrist still pumping at a steady pace. He reached his hand around your waist and his fingers made contact with your clit. He rubbed circles on your clit sending you into a spiral. 

You were so close and Mingi could tell by the way your pussy clenched around him. He was close himself and your grip around him didn’t make it any better. Your legs started to get weak as you felt a knot in your stomach. “Cum for me baby,” you heard Mingi demand. You obeyed and were finally released. Your legs shook as you felt him fill you up with cum. Loud moans filled the air followed by heavy breathing. Mingi pulled out and stared at your pussy waiting for cum to spill out of you. Just as he wanted cum dripped out of your pussy and started to run down your thigh. Mingi smacked your ass one more time causing you to moan his name once again. Your ass had his handprint all over it. 

He turned you around and placed kisses all over you. He laid next to you and moved your hair out of your face. He flashed you a smile and asked “Are you okay? Did I go too hard?” You giggled and placed a passionate kiss on his lips. “No it was perfect,” you responded. You put your head on his chest and rubbed his cheek. Mingi suddenly got up and picked up a clean towel. He spread your legs and cleaned you off. You stared at him with the biggest smile on your face and he smiled back. After cleaning you he crawled back and held you close to his chest. He moved your sweaty strands of hair away from your forehead and kissed it multiple times. “You did amazing by the way y/n.” All you could do was giggle, “No you did amazing Mingi.” You could feel him smile against your skin. “Only because of you.” You playfully rolled your eyes at his comment and looked up to kiss him passionately. “Mingi, I love you.” you expressed staring deeply in his eyes. Mingi’s smile became so big and he became flustered. “I love you too y/n.” 

[no-nameno-face]

Taken Care Of Audio (read story first)

TAKEN CARE OF (WITH AUDIO)

Pairing: Reader x Ellie Williams

Summary: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, minors do not interact. You will be blocked. Ellies had a long, hard day on patrol, and after stitching her up she requests some TLC. 

Warnings: Smut heavy, sub!reader, dom!ellie, face riding (E!receiving), oral (E!receiving), masturbation (R!), cum eating (kinda)? Praise kink, minor blood kink, pain kink, stitches, boob play (E!receiving), first time smut writing, did not proof read (but probably should have...)

Author's Notes: Soooo I've never written smut before, lmfao. I made the audio first, for my thirsty Ellie girls on tiktok but this audio got a bit… out of hand (wayyy too graphic) so I didn't want to post it on there. I had a whole scenario in mind with the audio so I figured I might as well write it down and share it here. I am also very obsessed with Ellie receiving so I subconsciously brought that to life while editing the audio. I know it's not great, but it was very fun to make and write soo.. Please be nice to me, I'm sensitive. Lol. (I put in the story when the audio clip applies, the story starts with context) I’d like to improve my writing cause this was a good time so any advice would be appreciated!!

I hear the door downstairs creak open and shut, a bit louder than normal. I can track the footsteps marching to the stairs and I listen with a small smile as the thuds make their way up. I hear soft profanities getting closer. Ellie is home. 

Sitting on our bed I turn my head right in time to see the door open, grinning at her as she walks in. She has that crease in her brow that I recognize as her tell-tell sign that she had a shit day. She shoots me a sly glance before looking away to take her flannel off leaving her in a white tank, dirty and disheveled she pulls it over her head. 

My eyes trace down her back, scarred and bruised. Muscular, and toned. Heart flutters, and a familiar heat builds. It's crazy how after all these years just seeing her still triggers these primal feelings. She just does something to me. She always has. My eyes stop wondering when I see a deep fresh cut following the curve of her hip. 

“Shit els? What happened” I get up and pace towards her keeping my eyes on the wound. 

She bends over pulling her shoes off, losing her balance a bit and mumbling a frustrated “fuck” under her breath. Now behind her, I prod at the gash and she swears again. I can feel her flinch. 

“I'll go get the stitches, sit down.” I say pulling her to the bed. She hits the bed with a thud and leans her elbows onto her knees.Shaking her head “it's not that bad babe, im fine.” She looks up at me and gives a half-hearted smile.

“I know you're fine,” I say, giving her a gentle look “I just don't want it to get infected, okay?” 

“Anything you say doc” she says with a smirk before turning to address the cut herself. She touches it lightly and winces when her fingers make contact. I head to the bathroom across the hall from our room and grab the small white kit from the medicine cabinet, and make my way back to our room. She's still sitting at the end of the bed, now rolling her neck side to side. 

I plop on the bed behind her, “okay, are you gonna tell me what happened now?” trying to distract her as I begin stitching the gash closed. Her back flexes and I hear her sharp intake of breath. Heart flutters. 

“Fucking stalkers. I hate those things” she says, shaking her head and looking up to the ceiling. “I was on patrol,”

“With Jesse right?”

“Don't remind me,” she says with a scoff that is cut off by another huff as I add a new stitch. Damn. Every breath in sync with the sutures releases a morbid butterfly into the pit of my stomach.  “Yeah, I was on patrol with jesse. We were checking out that one restaurant by the lodge, and I found an entrance to the attic. That place has been cleared out for like forever, so I went up on my own and got jumped by a stalker.” she shrugged her shoulders. “Fucking thing nailed me into an old piece of plywood. Piece of shit.” I tie her last stitch off, and give her a gentle pat to tell her she was finished. I got up and made my way to the bathroom to put the kit back.

I turned in the doorway on my way out, “Maybe you should’ve been more careful.” She swings her head at me with squinted eyes. I shrug and turn, heading to the bathroom “just saying!” 

“Fuck off” she calls back, I lightly laugh.

Back in the bedroom, she's lying on her stomach, head resting on her hands. “And then of course Jesse had to give me a fucking lecture about not going anywhere on my own, team communication! All that bullshit.” She turns onto her side propping herself up with one arm, “I’m just so fucking over it.” she looked absolutely exasperated. Oh how I love her dramatics. I sit facing her and her free hand falls to my hip. She looks at her hand, then up to me. Those green eyes, familiar and warm. Home. I smile at her. 

“That sucks. I'm sorry. I mean Jesse should know by now, there's no getting through that thick skull of yours. What's a lecture gonna do?” I smirk at her.

“Ouch.” she sneers at me, one brow up. She lets out a quiet laugh, and looks back down to her hand on my waist. “Thanks for stitching me up babe.”

“You know I don't mind.” I say casually. She smiles, an inside joke painting a picture on the walls of her thoughts. 

“So weird that you're into that.” she chuckles

“I'm not into that.. I just..” her eyes darted to mine. My heart pounded in my ears. She's right, but it was just so blunt. “There's just something about a strong woman who needs my help.” I say fawning innocent eyes, partially joking, but subconsciously egging her on. She sees right through me.  

She raises her eyebrows, taking her hand from my hip and pushing herself up so she's sitting opposite of me. She smiles, “so stupid.” her eyes drift down to my lips, then back to me. I feel red flush my cheeks. Her gaze darkens slightly, noticing. She tilts her head looking at me. “I mean it's okay that you are, i'm not kink shaming” Her hand meets my thigh, electric, and she gives me a sideways smile. I gape at her, trying to make light of the tension building between us.

“So you like taking care of strong women? Yeah?” she says quietly with a smile in her voice as her eyes trace down my body to her hand. Her thumb started circling the sensitive skin of my inner thigh. “Funny, you're normally the one that begs to be'' she looks up at me teasingly “taken care of.” Fuck. I feel heat pool in my belly. My knees squeeze together by their own volition. She feels it and her teasing gaze turns to something else as her eyes shift to them. She bites her lip subtly. This woman. 

Her hand moves to the button of her pants, “well i did have a hard day,” she undoes it and glances at me with an evil smile. “And since you enjoy taking care of strong women” she pulled on her zipper. “Mind doing me a favor?”

Jesus Christ.

“What do you have in mind?” I say, wide eyed. I try to sound cool but my voice comes out hungry. Starved. I watch the switch flip in Ellie's eyes at my words. 

“Take your shirt off.” she demanded with raised brows, and before I could think I was pulling her baggy shirt I was lounging in over my head. I'm left sitting there topless, with nothing but my black underwear on. She rolled famished eyes over my bare skin for what seemed like an eternity. Her eyes settled back on mine. I fidgeted my hands in my lap, feeling suddenly too vulnerable. She leans in slowly without breaking eye contact and my breath catches. Inches from me she whispers “Take off my pants.” 

Immediately I am in her service, at her beck and call. She knows all she has to do is ask. I'll do anything for her. She leans back onto her hands and lifts her hips slightly as I peel her jeans down the soft, yet lean, curves of her hips. Down her thighs, over her knees, and then calves, my eyes tracing every line of her legs. I toss them on the floor, and look back up to her awaiting further instruction. Her eyes are smiling with a dark inflection. 

“Lay down.” I looked at her confused, thinking I was the one taking care of her. Her tone was not a question however, so I obliged. I centered myself on the bed and pulled the nearest pillow under my head, keeping my eyes on her as she stood up and took her white boxers off. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her. Pretty, untamed. My knees squeeze, I don't try to hide it. She looks at them, and scans back up to my eyes. She stares into me as she walks around the bed to my side. I bite at my nail anxiously. 

“I want you to take care of me, make me feel good m’kay? Can you do that for me?” she asks with a small smile. I nod.

She looks over me once again (START OF AUDIO) “fuck, you look so pretty.” She climbs onto the bed, looking at me like prey to a predator. “Be a good girl for me” she whispers, as she swings one of her legs over my head. Shit, I get it now. Her pussy meets my lips and she lets out a soft “fuck” at my eager mouth. My arms wrap around her thighs, hands gripping soft flesh. She starts to move, pleasuring herself on my tongue. She moans softly, “needed this” she says desperately as her eyes drift close and her head drifts to the ceiling. Her taste envelopes me, her wetness growing by the second with the addition of my saliva wetting her folds. 

“Okay,” she moans, picking up her pace, grinding against my face. She looks down at me, before her eyes dart shut “There!”  I feel her body pulse at the peak of her thrusts and I know she's found her spot. Her bud flicking roughly over my tongue. “Oh shit.. There. There we go” she continues at her pace for a moment. Her pulsing getting stronger. Her eyes snap open and peer at me “Jesus, you feel so good.” she says as her head rolls back and her eyes closed again. She continues her rhythm as I pull my arm from under her leg and skim my hand up her body “okay” she says lost in the sensation. My palm cups her right breast and I squeeze impatiently, then rub a loving thumb over her nipple, circling it. “Damn… yeah” she sighs then her hand meets mine and squeezes the sensitive flesh with me “Baby just like that.” she bites her lip with a whispered “fuck” as she rides my face. 

Her moans and the graphic sound of her wetness fill the room. I reach my other hand down into my underwear and begin circling my own clit firmly, unable to avoid the tension building within my own body. “Fuck me.” she whines into the air, before looking down to me with adoring eyes, “that's my good girl.” her eyes tighten, “lets go” she whispers as she begins to grind harder and faster into my mouth. “Come on.” My hand on my core meets her pace. “Good. There. Okay. There we go” I love how she talks mindlessly when we fuck. Her voice is enough to bring me closer to my own apex. I begin moaning beneath her, unable to contain my own pleasure. She looks down at me “shhhh shh shh shh” she hushes as she pulls my hand from my aching clit before I can reach my undoing. I whimper in disappointment as she pulls my arm from beneath her leg and takes my other one from her chest before pinning them above my head in her strong hands, deepening her weight into my face. “Shut up” she corrects. 

Her rhythm continues and I can tell the new pressure she's added is building her quickly. “God damn.” she says as her eyes squeeze shut. “Okay” That same wrinkle between her eyes deepens again, this time out of pleasure. She rides harder pushing the back of my head further into the pillow. Her moans grow louder, more animalistic. her hands on my wrists tighten to the point that I am sure that there will be a mark. “Holy fuck” she gasps. She pushes hard against me and I can feel the pulse intensify, her sounds grow and grow until suddenly her hands let go of my wrists and bury deep into my hair, pushing me even further into her just at the right time when her head falls back in quiet breathy moans, she rides out her high on my mouth. Her legs shaking and clit pounding as I suck against it,  encouraging her. Tasting her. Worshiping her. She lets out a whimpering breath at the end of her climax and looks down at me beneath her. “Oh my god babe.” She slowly lifts off of my face and I see her flinch slightly at the air touching her sensitivity. She takes a breath before looking at me with a lazy smile.

 “All right. Your turn.”

[judeiscariot]

I recently started listening to CSH and famous prophets (stars) is one of my favorites out of everything I’ve heard so far. I’ve seen you mention it on here a couple times and I’d love to hear more about your interpretation of it! Only if you feel like it of course lol but I’m not great at lyric analysis stuff and I’m super interested

hi yes i’d love to talk about it!!! i’ve been wanting to do a line by line of this song for forever so thanks for asking <3 (fair warning though this is gonna be really long)

this song is sort of the last 'event' on the twin fantasy timeline, even though it's more of a summary. it's the culmination of everything that this story has been building up to. it's a breakdown in every sense of the word. like many songs in twin fantasy and will's body of work at large, it has an insanely ambitious structure that's hard to even nail down. it's made up of around six parts but it's basically impossible to even separate into choruses/verses/bridge, etc, so i'm just gonna go section by section:

much like the first track on the album, this song starts off with a really simple, isolated bassline before will's voice comes in softly. the first thing the speaker does is apologize to the idealized future versions of himself and his partner who he had become attached to. he had all these wonderful visions of what their life together might look like, but he's finally realizing that none of that is ever gonna happen, and things are quickly coming to an end. the 'ripping of the tape' could refer to an audio tape, a reference to how the original version of this album was a lot rougher in terms of sound quality, and will has said before that he prefers the smoother, more professional sound of face to face as opposed to the lo-fi of mirror to mirror. the tape could also be what's metaphorically holding the relationship together, and it's finally failing. the speaker knows the relationship is falling apart, but the realization doesn't make it any less painful. in the final line, he shifts the blame to the subject, in a coy and resigned sort of way.

the bruises represent the speaker and his partner - painful, brought on through trauma, lesions that the speaker carries around physically on his body. 'kicking the back of the seat in' probably refers to the fact that most of the vocals for will's early projects, including twin fantasy (mtm) were recorded in the backseat of his car, hence the band name. the speaker has sort of embodied the role of 'emotional punching bag' throughout the story (you can text me when punching mattresses gets old), and the bruises, or the pain the speaker was caused through the relationship, were something he wore with pride as though they represented the burdens he was willing to shoulder for love of his partner. but the bruises are fading now, healing, steering the speaker towards the metaphorical 'healing journey' he will embark on after being set free from the expectations and needs of this person. the vocals up until this point are soft, almost spoken-word, but here we crash into a jarringly intense instrumental that totally shifts the tone.

this part is buried beneath the instrumentals, almost inaudible, but it's so important. i see this as the speaker encouraging his past self, who this album is sort of dedicated to, not to spend too much time lamenting over the end of the relationship, because everything is gonna turn out alright even though it feels like the end of the world. even still, the speaker knows his past self wouldn't listen to this advice if he could hear it.

an experience like the one conveyed through this album is very much confined to teenagers/adolescents. it's essential that the speaker and his partner are fumbling young people with underdeveloped brains. there are certain emotions and ways in which we see the world as teenagers that inevitably dampen when we become adults. even if the speaker and his partner, now grown, were to touch each other like they used to, they wouldn't be able to access the emotions that were conjured by their teenage brains. the speaker and his partner are no longer in contact, sure, but they've lost access to one another in more ways than one. the speaker likes to think that he remembers what it was like to be with his partner physically, but he gives just about the vaguest and most generic description of a human body that he possibly could, literally trailing off at the end like he can't name anything beyond a few body parts. he doesn't actually remember specifics about this person at all.

the speaker questions whether the deterioration of the relationship was his fault, if he could have done something different, been better, saved it somehow. at the same time, he's realizing that he couldn't have, and wondering if this whole thing, that he dedicated all this time and stress and agony and love and joy to, was a complete waste of time, simply because it was destined to fail. throughout this verse, the speaker is coming to terms with the end of the relationship while simultaneously resisting it. it's pretty clear that there have been a good few 'breakup scares' at this point, and the speaker isn't sure if this is the real, true, final end. is this how life is going to be from now on? waking life feels like a bad dream, and he's walking around wondering if this person is, or ever was, his, if they're truly gone. 'the great silence' is the enormous canyon that opens between two people who have just ended a relationship as intense and intimate as this. they go from indescribable closeness to functioning like complete strangers, and it would give anyone whiplash, but especially a teenager who had never felt truly loved or understood before this person. this relationship has been so unsteady that even once significant time has passed since the end, he still sometimes wakes up with the hope that he might roll over and see his former partner next to him.

will refers to himself as both 'nervous' and 'a wreck' multiple times in this album, and in several other places throughout his discography. it's kind of a recurring motif. this may also be a callback to 'the bell jar,' one of the first tracks will ever released, before he was even making music as car seat headrest. as far as 'naming names' goes, this is probably a reference to the fact that he did in fact call cate wurtz by name in famous prophets (minds) in the mtm version of the album. cate wurtz is a comic artist and the author of the lamezone series, and she may or may not be the subject of twin fantasy. i find theories about the real life person who might be the inspiration for this album largely irrelevant and uninteresting, nevermind unimportant to my personal interpretation of the album, so i'm not gonna linger on that aspect of it. the last line is probably a reference to this song's counterpart. famous prophets (minds) ends with a spoken word recitation of 1 kings 19:11 - 12. the actual final lines of the verse are as follows: "But the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." in the song, the final line is changed to "And after the fire, a sound of sheer silence." right before will says 'silence,' the music cuts out completely.

by this point in the song, it seems like the narrator has fully accepted that the relationship has come and gone whether he likes it or not. this person has faded into and subsequently out of his life, as people often do. there's nothing more to be said, it's all over, there's no getting around this.

now we slide into the seminal refrain of this song. even though in the previous verse, it seemed like he had fully accepted the end, now he's crying and screaming and begging to go back. the end of a relationship like this is obviously going to cause some extreme inner turmoil and it's not gonna be a smooth transition for the people involved. the vocals here are kind of agonizing - it gets more and more intense until he's more or less howling. even after the final repetition, he goes on yelling and crying under the instrumentals. what is the speaker even begging to go back to? when the relationship was new and full of promise? before the two of them ever met in the first place? if he could go back, would the speaker do things differently, or does he just want to live out the events of the relationship again exactly as they happened, so he can cling to the fleeting moments of joy and hope that were there, even though he knows how things are going to end? at the end of all this, he asks his former self again not to spend too much time on it, which is somewhat ironic. once he's done yelling, the instrumentals quiet down almost entirely to just the bassline that was present at the beginning, with the occasional guitar note.

the speaker didn't want his partner to develop too high an opinion of him. even though this whole album is literally about his ridiculously high opinion of this person, he's anxious at the idea of his partner thinking of him the same way. he doesn't want to disappoint him. the speaker also asks his partner not to joke about his own death - this is the only person he's ever felt truly loved or understood by, and the speaker desperately doesn't want to lose him.

the speaker urges his partner to keep it together. because he cares about him deeply, yes, but also because he's not sure if he'll be able to give his partner the support he'd need if he truly lost it. the 'art' he mentions is likely a reference to the art of cate wurtz, but like i mentioned above i'm not interested in diving too deep into that whole deal.

now we're back to the seminal refrain of twin fantasy itself. the whole 'beach' theme is a frequently recurring motif in will's work as far back as the numbered albums. the 'grave' is the place the speaker is trying to lay his feelings for this person to rest, and the ocean is...everything. life, the universe, any given day-to-day experience that might bring up feelings of this person again. no matter what the speaker does, this situation affected him so deeply that his feelings will keep resurfacing over and over again long after the relationship has reached its conclusion.

the refrain continues in the background as the instrumentals build in intensity and will starts to shout over himself. when an artist’s work begins to gain recognition, whichever piece it was that initially drew the attention of large crowds of people may become their 'holy grail,' so to speak. if a particular song gets a singer famous, or a particular painting gets a painter famous, they might lean on the themes and techniques they used when creating that particular piece in an attempt to create another piece which draws similar attention. this leads them to 'descend into cliché' and create work with less creative integrity. the grave symbolism continues, and now at the emotional climax of the album, the speaker says he might ‘fill it in,’ signifying that he has reached some sort of emotional resolution. he is hammering in the nail to ensure that the coffin remains shut tightly, so he can finally move on with his life and walk away from these emotions which have consumed him. 'i could give you what you deserve' may be a reference to the oft repeated line ‘art gets what it wants and art gets what it deserves,’ which pops up throughout will's work. the speaker comments on the fact that he could continue to make music about this relationship, that he could ‘watch the hammer swerve,’ as he attempts to metaphorically nail the coffin shut, i.e. watch himself fail in his attempts to move on from the emotions he has drowned so many times in.

the mirror symbolism is a direct reference to the original version of this album, with the 'mirror' symbolizing the relationship between the speaker and his partner. i've talked about the 'mirror to mirror' vs 'face to face' images before, but i'll summarize it again here: the first image is one of two mirrors facing each other, creating an endless tunnel of reflection between two people who can only see themselves in the other. the face to face image is one of two people regarding each other, recognizing the other while existing as separate bodies. the mirror breaking is the transition between mirror to mirror and face to face. the fantasy is shattered, and will is now at a very different place in his life than when the original version of this album was written. he's decidedly beyond his adolescence, and he no longer sees his partner as a mirror. he wouldn't trade anything for this absolutely necessary change in perspective. 'blackstar' is probably either a reference to the david bowie album of the same name, or the radiohead song of the same name. 'painstar' is explicitly a reference to cate wurtz's work. basically, it's a concept from the lamezine comics of a star/entity which only comes around once every thousand years or so. when you touch it, you feel unfathomable pain, but only for a split second. i see the concept used as a metaphor for the pain of the relationship - was it worth the agony the speaker is currently in for the joy he once had? the vocals here once again grow increasingly intense as the speaker begs...someone, for something.

as the vocals descend in intensity, will mutters this, which is probably a reference to the bit in high to death that includes an audio sample from the movie adaptation of ray bradbury's 'all summer in a day.' it's a science fiction story which takes place on a planet where the sun can only be seen once every nine years. the main character, a girl named margot, is originally from earth, and remembers what the sun looked and felt like. the other children don't believe her, and lock her in a closet before the day the sun is supposed to show itself. when the sun does appear, the other children forget about her, and she remains locked in the closet. the sample included in the song is her calling "william! let me out! william! william! let me out, william!" margot is a stand-in for the speaker's partner, who is begging will by name to release him from the fantasy will has him trapped in. now the roles are reversed and the speaker is begging his partner to let him inside the locked closet. despite all the speaker’s efforts, the two of them still somehow end up on opposite sides of the door. will wants his partner to let him in, so that they may at least be in the dark together. 

the instrumentals quiet down once again so that will is singing over a simple piano tune. this verse replaces the lyrics in the original version of famous prophets which called cate wurtz by name. in the original version, these lyrics were buried, whereas these are at the forefront, accompanied by almost no instrumentals. it's impossible for the listener to miss these. in the first ‘descend into cliché’ verse will mentioned that he could 'sing another song' as a sort of coping mechanism or way of dealing with the end of this relationship, so the 'music forsaking you' could refer to the speaker's coping mechanisms not being enough to comfort him in the aftermath of the relationship. rolling the stone over the grave is the same deal as will 'hammering in the nail' in an attempt to seal off his feelings about the relationship. this also evokes some biblical imagery, with how the entrance to the tomb of jesus was blocked with a huge stone. on the other hand, he could stare his feelings in the face, confront them head on and learn to cope. 'when the levee breaks' is probably a reference to the led zeppelin song 'if the levee breaks.' it seems like will is referencing several well-known musicians while thinking of his own 'prophecy' for his music career. this could be a reach, but the stone line might also be a reference to the rolling stones if we're going with this interpretation. the final line might refer to the fact that, even though these bands were and are incredible famous, the music industry is a cyclical entity and all famous bands will eventually fade out of the spotlight.

that 'what happened to you' might be a reference to leonard cohen's 'death of a ladies man.' will is a big leonard cohen fan and references to his work pop up fairly often. but other than that this verse fades into a soft instrumental where the fractured pieces of what will eventually be the spoken word outro start to fade in:

these are snippets from 1 corinthians 13, and reesa mallen is the actress who played margot in all summer in a day. this is a direct quote from the verse, but will shifts the order of the lines around to depart from the original meaning. the intended message of this verse is basically that love is the key to everything, and that one cannot access great and miraculous things in the absence of love. this arrangement of the lines sort of suggests the opposite - that love enters your life and wrecks you on its way out, that no matter what sort of effort you put out, when love goes it will leave you with nothing. i'll talk a little more about the use of this verse when we get to the end.

this is the true ultimate climax of the song, and of the story as a whole. it's a fractured, distorted sample of my boy, the first song on the album. i can't even describe how crazy this actually sounds you gotta just listen to it. i've talked about this before but my boy is a pretty hopeful and optimistic way to open this album, and throughout the story all that optimism and hope has pretty much been crushed. to me, this part is where the speaker has a breakthrough of sorts and truly, truly understands that it's over, even though his feelings for this person will keep resurfacing, the relationship is crumbling in his hands and soon there will be nothing left at all. the only line from my boy that's not present here is 'we won't be alone,' so do with that what you will. this section is just so insane, the instrumentals and the desperation and rawness of the vocals, there's one or two moments in here where will's voice blends completely with a guitar note, it's incredible. one of the things i love most about twin fantasy is how it manages to take this experience that would generally be regarded as frivolous, unimportant, childish, naive, etc, and successfully convey how deadly deadly serious it feels in the moment. like when we break it down to its bare essentials this album is about an online relationship between two teenagers in 2009. yet it somehow adequately conveys the absolute utter and complete long lasting devastation a relationship like this can feel in a hormone-addled teenage brain. the emotions of teenagers and adolescents are very often brushed off as overdramatic and kinda made fun of in media in general, but just because adolescent emotions are affected by teenage hormones or whatever doesn't make them any less real. in fact i think being a teenager often makes interpersonal relationship experiences similar to this all the more visceral and painful. this part of the song is where that really comes through for me and i find it so incredibly cathartic. the sheer grandiosity of the instrumentals ties it all together, and the horn arrangement in particular is amazing. will uses horns a fair amount in his work and it's always beautiful, but something about this instance specifically just shakes me to my core, man. it's like he's wailing in agony with all the choirs of heaven behind him.

now the instrumentals quiet down and an unfractured recitation of 1 corinthians 13 fades in. this verse perfectly sums up everything this story is about, and the whole idea behind remaking the album in the first place. the speaker and protagonist of the album is an adult now, and he's had years to process these events by this point. he no longer views them through that addled adolescent lens, but he remembers what it felt like to be shaken to his core by this situation. even still, he now sees the relationship for exactly what it is. he no longer sees others as a reflection of himself. he's able to regard the person who he underwent all this agony for as a separate, independent being and understand that his perception of them was false. no matter one's age, it's often borderline impossible to grasp the full significance of important life events as they're happening. only with time and reflection can we truly come to understand and process how events have affected us and how we are changed in their aftermath. the speaker in mtm is clouded by raw emotion, and therefore only capable of knowing 'in part.' the speaker in ftf is more mature, has garnered more life experience, and evidently spent many painful hours working through these events. therefore, he now 'knows fully,' and with the ability to know fully comes the ability to be fully known, to be truly loved and understood as he never could while operating under the delusions fueling this relationship. the instrumentals drop off entirely for the final line, which is a slight alteration from the actual bible quote. the original is as follows: 'And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.' this change allows for ambiguity as to which of the three remain within the speaker. the change could also refer to the two versions of the album which now exist, or it could refer to the speaker and the subject as people.

so that's famous prophets (stars). it's an absolutely incredible song and if you've never heard it you really really should. you can only really get the full affect if you listen to the whole album straight through, but i know not everybody feels like doing that lmao, same as many people don't feel like listening to a 17 minute song in the first place. but i think this song is best heard in your room, in the dark, at night, played over a speaker, while you're maybe just a little too high. can't recommend enough.

[homenecromancer]

after 17 years here is my review of the School's Out - Forever soundtrack

1. "Death Said" - The Summer Obsession this song is fine. it's okay. kind of 2006.mp3 here, but in a way that's hard to quantify. i probably would've liked this song in 2006.

2. "What I Wouldn't Give" - Holly Brook this song is also fine. i've known about it for years (because it was mentioned by Max on the blog) but had never listened to it and. it's way softer in vibe than i expected from Max, more in line with the later-books version of her.

3. "Shaky" - Cipes And The People i did not like this song. i wouldn't leave a place if it came on the radio, but i was thinking "lmfao this dude played Beast Boy" the entire time.

4. "Underneath My Skin" - Brian Steen this is the kind of song i would have downloaded free off of last.fm in the 2000s. here is a sample of the lyrics: "please forgive me if I'm somewhat crabby / you know I like it when you call me Daddy / you're so damn catty". i do not care for these rhymes.

5. "Disappear" - The Summer Obsession i would've liked this song in 2006. it's OK. a very "man these lyrics would've been catnip to teenage me" kind of song.

6. "Wanted" - Holly Brook this song's fine. i don't know if i would have liked it in 2006, but it's okay. but at the same time... i am starting to hit the age where songs i vibed to as a teenager get played in the grocery store, and, uh, this one would at least be more appropriate for that vibe than "Untitled" by Simple Plan.

7. "The Way I Do" - Marcos Hernandez this song is fine, but not to my personal taste. i wouldn't turn the radio off if it came on.

8. "Where Do We Go From Here" - Cooper i would've liked this song in, like, 2008. unfortunate that this was, like, the one band on this album where i have had no luck in tracking down anything else they ever did.

9. "Golden Days" - Kelly Dalton this song was not to my taste. i might've liked it in 2006 but it doesn't do anything for me in 2023.

10. "Take It From Me" - The Weepies i'm pretty sure i've heard this song before now, because while i wouldn't describe myself as a serious fan of this band, i have yet to hear a song by them that i didn't like. anyway this one is good, and if you're not familiar with the band, i recommend "Nobody Knows Me At All" (which i super fucked with in 2007) and "I Was Made For Sunny Days".

11. The Angel Experiment special excerpt just in case you're not sure what book you're listening to, this file starts with a red-tailed hawk screech and a brief musical sting. but i can also reveal that this recording was... kinda featured on the website in late 2005. this version has some added audio effects -- the hawk screech and opening music; the tape-recorder "clunk", ongoing staticky hum, and ending music are in both versions -- but the text is the same. so to hear this on the old website, go to the following address -- https://web.archive.org/web/20051103120534/http://www.maximumride.com/ -- and click "Take a Listen and Take Flight". (it's not highlighted there, but the reader for this text is Evan Rachel Wood, and apparently she was in Westworld if you've seen that series)

12. School's Out - Forever special excerpt this excerpt is read by Valentina de Angelis -- more info if you go here, but there's nothing much there https://web.archive.org/web/20060420191035/http://www.maximumride.com/home.php?content=AudioCD . i should've mentioned this above, but i am not an audiobook person and therefore cannot review this track on those merits.

[archonedd]

A journey through Sega's marketing machine with the power of the cassette

I know, I know, a bit of a wild stretch to start this blog off without some proper introduction. Hi. I'm archonedd / Nobusuke, and I'm an avid (at the time of publication) 23 year old Sega (and Sonic) nut.

After mercilessly mocking cassettes as some old fad throughout the elementary and high school years as the world started gravitating more and more towards online streaming, I picked up a cassette player in early 2017 no doubt due to the hype surrounding a cassette that Star-Lord was seen playing on repeat on one of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies. Along with said cassette player, came a Type 1 cassette tape to play. It changed my music experience in ways I'd never imagined, and I even tried substituting my CD-based boombox with one of these and needless to say the equipment left a lot to be desired.

It turns out that modern cassette players just don't have the quality mechanisms that legacy cassette decks used to have, and the number of new cassette-enabled devices seem to be dwindling globally as time goes on. Not to mention, most people's recollections of cassettes seems to border towards "listening to a crappy stream from the car's radio" to "only listening to a film's vision of what cassettes or any other vintage audio format used to sound like".

It sure took a YouTube channel like Techmoan and Retro Core AV as well as several others where my outlook on cassettes (and several vintage audio formats) began to change a little as I learned more about the different types of cassettes, and how cassettes can sound a lot like or even close to a properly mastered CD if given the right budget and expectations. So imagine my surprise when I heard almost 5 years later that Sega even started using distributing cassettes dubbed "Sega Forever Volume 1". My initial reaction was - "Wait a minute. What??"

What is this tape about?

Basically the idea of this was to serve as a promotional item sent out to various YouTubers and Sega-centric content creators prior to the launch of the "SEGA Forever" service on mobile devices. The tracks on these are basically taken from popular arcade and Mega Drive/Genesis titles, some of which are still remembered to this day.

The most remembered ones include the arcade BGM to Space Harrier and Outrun, as well as those from Mega Drive standout classics like Phantasy Star 2, Shining Force 2, and even Vectorman (a Blue Sky Software effort) gets a special shoutout though only Terraport from that game gets represented. Overall, there are 12 songs spread into two sides of six.

The strange thing is some of the Sega arcade titles even got console ports on non-Sega systems usually through third parties like Sunsoft and NEC Avenue.

Here is the complete tracklist in case you may not remember.

For the lucky 512 or so content creators lucky enough to receive this retro blast, the package even included a biro pen just in case your cassette player somehow "ate the tape" and you're on the task to spool the tape back in. You, know, like the old days where cassette enjoyers did it. I personally do not have such a strong nostalgic connection, but I just found it interesting to mention.

What are the technical specifications?

There are four types of cassettes sold throughout the market during the continuing lifespan of these audio wonders.

Type 1 refers to a general cassette you are most likely to buy today. This is known as a "Ferric" tape.

Type 2 known as "Chrome" is a step up from Type 1. While it is a general step up from Type 1 tapes, in the end, quality Type I cassettes have higher midrange MOL than most Type II tapes, slow and gentle MOL roll-off at low frequencies, but less treble headroom than Type II.

Type 3 "Ferrichrome" doesn't really exist anymore as far as I can tell.

Type 4 is the supreme stuff. These are called "Metal" tapes. To play such a high-class tape, your deck or player would have to be rated for metal tape playback. Something that today's modern tapes aren't quite capable of playing now, or at least I don't think so.

It seems more likely that Sega Forever Volume 1 cassette is a Type 1 metal tape with no noise reduction to speak of. These days, Dolby noise reduction may be no more, but substitutes such as DDi Codec will be able to alleviate that.

Sega Forever....

Let's talk about Sega Forever. Sega Forever was a then-new initiative to get its best retro games available for a mobile audience that's still going today. Very similar to what they are already doing with Sega Mega Drive Classics on multiplatform experiences via PC, PS4 and XBOX. This cassette was to coincide with the launch of the Sega Forever platform on smartphone on 21 June 2017, with the initial lineup being Altered Beast/Jyuohki, Comix Zone, Chameleon Kid, Sonic the Hedgehog 1 and Phantasy Star II.

Unfortunately it had a somewhat rocky launch. With the exception of the rebooted Sega Forever Sonic the Hedgehog mobile conversion handled by Stealth (the same guy that demoed what Sonic could look like on the GBA compared to the half-baked effort Sega of America pumped out in 2006), almost the entirety of the selection ran poorly despite modern hardware enhancements. It seemed to be a middleware problem as Sega reportedly failed to reach an agreement with the people behind the Retroarch project, instead settling for a Unity-based emulation solution.

Since then, Sega have upped the quality of the emulation for the smartphones of our time.

[bagofbonesmp3]

how i (personally) pirate things. this is by no means a great extensive perfect guide, ill just give you the process of how i go about it. and if you’re in a country where they monitor your internet usage, consider getting a good vpn! always helps. also if anyone wants to add their personal resources, PLEASE DO!!! you’re encouraged to do so!!!

not much to do with the pirating itself, but i download most of the stuff i watch/read/listen. sometimes websites get deleted and links go bad, but files are forever! consider getting a usb/external disk for your stuff. it was one of my first investments as an adult. got a 1 TB disk 5 years ago and im not even halfway through filling it. so most of the sites listed here are for downloads. sorry if you prefer streaming stuff.

in the same subject, get VLC media player. it’s a great media player that works with a bunch of file formats AND you can add subtitle/cc files for the stuff you watch. more on that later.

and for the love of fucking god GET MOZILLA. i swear to God, if you only use chrome it will change your browsing experience. it's just a better experience, no tracking, uses less space, has a bunch of useful add ons to help with browsing security. for a search engine i use startpage. it's just Google without blocking pages and tracking. life-changing

to the actual pirating. first step if you want to WATCH stuff:

AND also, keep in mind that if you can’t find something here, i suggest you go to a non-google browser, and simply type out what you want + “watch/download free”. of course you should get an ad block (i recommend ublock) and learn how to recognized fake links, but that’s just practise. most of the time you’ll find a random website that has what you’re looking for.

torrent:

- for movies, i usually turn to yts/yify movies. this is the latinamerican site but im sure it’s available almost everywhere. quite good catalogue, not that complete, but yknow. its good. any time you download a torrent file, make sure the file is .torrent, and that the thing you’re downloading is in the right format (mp4, mp3, mkv, etc. don’t open.exe files from places that aren’t trustworthy lol)

- torrent is IN MY OPINION one of the best ways to download media in general. i use it mostly for movies, tv shows and games. my go to torrent client is deluge because it doesn’t use much space and it’s fairly easy to use. here’s a tutorial, for you to learn how to use it. not difficult at all

- for subtitles /ccs, i go to yts-subs. bunch of subtitles in all languages. or simply check out opensubtitles, my oldest friend

- for tv shows it gets tricky, because i had a website i used before but its gone now :( so i turned to limetorrents. you can find it if you search for it. has a bunch of other stuff but i only use it when i have nowhere to turn to lmao. but upadates quite quickly, so. just make sure the uploader seems constant and trustworthy, which you can check in their profile.

non torrent stuff:

- for pc games: igggames hasn’t failed me yet. they update their links quite often

- for books: z-library (latine link, but just look it up! should show up). and my recent ally, vk. you should all love vk. vk is my fucking best friend. just look up [book name] + vk and it should show up.

- for audiobooks: vk! my good friend. i’d suggest you make an account and then check out this profile. or simply google [book] +  audiobook + vk. something will pop up. audio files can only be streamed on the website, but fear not, there is also mobilism, which also has some other content, though i use it mostly for audiobooks. you’ll have to make an account but thats fine. you can download the files in there.

- for anime: i don’t watch a lot of anime tbh, but you can find subtitled anime here

- for premium apps: here’s my trusty spotify premium link. but mobilism has links for android and ios  apps as well! i have a friend who uses it and says the links check out, so!

- for music: how old are you? just download stuff from youtube with a youtube to mp3 converted. jeez.

im surely missing a website, so maybe i’ll add something later, but this is pretty much it! thanks for watching.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol.8 Mukami Kou [TRACK 1]

Original title: 陽だまりの日々

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 8 Mukami Kou

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Kimura Ryouhei

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

TRACK 1: DAYS FULL OF SUNSHINE

The scene starts at the amusement park.

[00:05] “Look, look! Over there! It’s the Parade of the Fairy Queen! Let’s go take a look, okay? Don’t worry, I’ll lead the way~!”

*Rustle*

Kou drags you along.

“It’s said that she can make anyone smile with her magic wand!”

*Twinkle*

“Ah! The Queen just waved her wand your way!”

You smile.

[00:33] “Hehe…Heh…Hey, don’t worry, you’re smiling. A lovely smile at that.”

You nod.

“…Hehe, come on, smile even more! As wide as you can! …I’m begging you…”

Kou turns towards the Fairy Queen.

“ーー Hey, Queen! Could you please listen to my request? I want you to cast lots of magic on her! Exactly! Tons of it ー Just shower her in it!”

*Twinkle*

[01:11] “Heh…Look…Can you tell? You’re being enveloped by her magic right now so please…Smile? …So I can burn the image of your smile...in my mind forever.”

*FLASHBACK STARTS*

Kou leaves the house.

[01:52] “ーー Well, I’m off then~ Mmmh...~”

*Smooch*

“Hehe~ ...That smile of yours really is adorable. I love it…! ...Hmm~ One more! Mmh~”

*Smooch*

“...Don’t go around showing that expression to any other guy, okay? Your smile belongs only to me! You know that, right?”

You nod.

[02:22] “Fufu~ Good to hear! Right, right! Breakfast was super yummy this morning! Every day you’re providing me with so much energy by making me delicious meals and seeing me off like this. Heh~” 

He embraces you.

*Rustle*

“Because you’re here for me, I can give it my all every day. Your love is what makes me Mukami Kou. ...Just kidding~ ...But it’s true, you know? Were you aware?”

You get flustered. 

[03:00] “Oh come on, just a little longer…”

*Honk honk*

“Oh shoot! My manager’s calling for me! ...I’ll get going then, see you!”

Kou runs off. 

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle rustle*

Kou’s make-up artist is busy preparing him for the shoot.

“Pwaaaah...~ Give my face some color, okay? I’ve been running a little low on sleep as of late.”

She notes that he has been quite busy with work.

[03:35] “You could say that. I’m glad to be doing well, but I don’t think I could handle any more at this moment. I would have absolutely no time left to spend with my girlfriend. (1) ...She’s the reason why I can keep going. Every day, she showers me with her love~ Hehehe~ I bet you’re envious?”

*Beep*

“...Hm? Huh? It’s from Ruki-kun...One minute, please.”

*Rustle*

[04:05] “How odd...He rarely ever contacts me during work.”

Kou reads the text.

“...Huh? No way...What does he mean, she collapsed!?”

He gets up from his chair and dashes away.

*TIMESKIP*

Kou bolts into the room.

[04:32] “...ーー Hey! Are you okay!?”

You seem surprised he’s here.

“...Eh? ...Huh?”

You ask Kou why he seems to be in a panic. 

“No but...I heard you collapsed so...I figured you would be unconscious.” 

You shake your head and explain.

“Really!? You’re totally fine!? ...I got an emergency text from Ruki-kun so I rushed back home in a hurry…!”

You insist that you’re fine.

“...”

*WOOSH*

[05:14] “...You’re speaking the truth. You actually just felt a little dizzy, huh? ...Ah. My bad. I used the powers of my eye…”

You tell him he probably did it because he panicked. 

“That might be true but...You’re the last person I want to use it on. It feels like I’m doubting you, so I don’t like it.”

You forgive him.

“Thank you. You’re so kind.”

You ask about work.

[05:48] “Geez~ You’re such a worrywart! Don’t worry, I made sure to get permission to take today off. ーー Soo...~ Take this! ...Squeeeeeze~”

Kou hugs you tight.

“That being said...Can I join you in bed?”

You make room for him.

*Rustle rustle*

[06:18] “...There we go. Honestly, I’m kind of glad Ruki-kun exaggerated a little. I should be grateful to him! If not, I would have never been able to get a day off today. ...Aah~ Nothing like taking an afternoon nap while snuggling with you~”

( However, back then, I was still ignorant. That this feeling of peace would only be temporary. )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) The word 彼女 or ‘kanojo’ has two meanings in Japanese. It can be used to refer to one’s girlfriend, implying a romantic relationship OR simply mean ‘she/her’. Kou uses this word various times throughout the CD, but I will translate it differently depending on the context. In this sentence, I think it’s pretty obvious he’s implying the MC as his girlfriend and not just ‘time with her’.

[3wisellamas]

Giant Sweet Cap’n Cakes Headcanon Masterpost!

(Fun fact, I thought most of these up while on one REALLY long hike.  ^^;  You can tell I fell for these three pretty hard.)

Music:

-I like the idea that, while the three all share a love of hip hop, glitch hop, electronic music in general, and a little lo-fi for chill times, they all have different tastes outside of those.  (Meaning if you pass them the aux cord, they WILL argue!)

-Sweet's actually the biggest audiophile of the group, with by far the most eclectic tastes; he will literally put together playlists that go from dubstep to heavy metal to classical to rap to vaporwave to even country.  The others don't really get it, but they're cool with whatever he puts on, and learn a lot of new music from him!

-He also owns an electric guitar, which he just plugs into himself to use as an amp and plays early in the morning to wake the others up if needed (he's the early riser and the other two are night owls...)

-Cap'n's definitely got a more narrow focus than the other two; he likes rap and also R&B, jazz, and even a little swing/electro swing.  He's also been caught more than once listening to cheesy romantic pop songs, claiming he's just into them for their potential madamoizel-attracting uses but really he's just a sappy romantic.

-He can also rap, very well in fact, and gets Sweet to beatbox while he freestyles. 

-Heck, he's just got a good singing voice in general, helped by having a built-in autotune, and dominates at karaoke!

-K_K also has a really broad range, but stays more towards the electronic end of the spectrum -- melodic dubstep, synthpop, disco, trance, chiptune, DnB, even occasionally puts on straight-up ambient spa music to chill out to (the only genre the other two will NOT tolerate.)

-K_K has also, in the past, set up entire mini-raves just by themselves, complete with glowsticks and everything, while Cap'n and Sweet were out doing whatever.  They were...not pleased, when they got back, mostly because they weren't invited.  All three got to have one together eventually though.  

-Physical media is king in their shop; if it's not on a CD, cassette tape, or a vinyl record (or an 8-track, though they have to dig out their old player for it), they will refuse to play it, and might even ask you to leave.  "MP3" is an extremely dirty word to them.

-(In fact, they don't get along too well with the MP3 player-headed robots elsewhere in the city.)

-They are indeed always listening to music on physical media as well -- K_K and Cap'n are their own CD players (though Cap'n's one of those models that's also got a built-in FM radio), while Sweet has a straight-up Walkman.    

-(He's also the group's cassette champion, claiming his media of choice is superior to CDs because you can record music on BOTH sides of the tape!  The other two just don't have the heart to point out that each side only holds half as much music as a CD, and you don't even have to rewind those...)

-Jury's still out on Hit Clips.  Cap'n and Sweet think they're just toys, but K_K genuinely collects and appreciates them and treats them like actual music (it helps that they are only around four seconds long!)

-Believe it or not, the headphones are only decoration, all three actually just...listen to their music entirely within their own heads, though they can also switch to playing it externally on their speakers as well.  Perks of being robots!  Though, sometimes K_K has his internal volume up too high, and misses things that other people say because of it.

-Sweet also has an input port, and connects himself to his turntable to act as the speakers!  The other two are WAY too embarrassed to ask if they can use it as well.

-Sweet can play almost any instrument you throw at him, as long as it's not a woodwind (Surprisingly, he can do brass, since those work on vibration rather than air!).  He prefers his guitar or violin when he isn't spinning records on his turntable.  Where the other two just enjoy music, he's the actual trained musician.

Voice headcanons:

-Sweet:  Kind of deep, bass-y, lots of reverb, a slight tinny audio distortion to it like a low-quality recording that becomes much more pronounced when he gets upset or starts shouting.  And since he's a speaker, you can literally feel the vibrations he makes when he's speaking!

-Cap'n:  Scout from TF2.  I am sorry, but I absolutely cannot get that out of my head for him.  XD  However, he's actually putting that voice on as an "accent" of sorts, his real voice is actually super autotune-y like K_K's, and it comes out whenever he gets flustered, his pitch only getting higher and higher as it gets worse...

-K_K:  Pure autotune, he can just do whatever the hell he wants with his voice -- pitch, tone, whatever, and while he tends to keep it a little higher he can and does change it to fit his mood!  He often has a completely different voice every day, but the others are used to it.  He also just straight-up vocalizes sound effects (like, the kind that make you go "How did you just make that sound with your mouth?!") and can mimic other people perfectly (though the slight mechanical distortion does give it away).  There are absolutely no rules when it comes to K_K's voice.

-They harmonize perfectly whenever they sing together! 

Sweet:

-I like to think Sweet's actually the brains of the group; like, not SMART, he just holds their one collective braincell most often.  He does any technical work when they're building stuff, like soldering circuits or the occasional programming, and even handles a lot of the actual business operations and pays the bills.  The other two also like to follow his lead when it comes to rebellion plans, even if he’s not the official leader.

-That said, though?  It's balanced out by him being rather hotheaded and having the shortest temper by a lot.  There are REASONS why he's not usually out selling bagels with the others -- he's unfortunately prone to some more "extreme" sales tactics, like hurling half their stock at random passersby until they finally agree to buy some.  On the plus side, he's always the first to step up to defend the gang from anything that dares to harm them, and is always on guard.

-He can also hold a heck of a grudge -- don't ever get on his bad side!  Cap'n and K_K are mostly immune to this though, if he gets upset with them he works through it by the end of the day.  It helps that they can all hug it out.

-He's a bit of a perfectionist, often working overtime to try and get everything they build exactly right.  He can get really frustrated when things don't work out the way he plans, or when he can't make sense of a problem, or when Cap'n and K_K are goofing off instead of doing their part, and needs to go blast some loud music and blow off steam.

-He does have a really tough time keeping his balance, since his head is a bit heavier than the rest of his body, but he takes tripping over his own feet constantly in stride.  The biggest problem he has is with dancing -- while he'll join in with the others on occasion, he can't match their more acrobatic moves and sticks more to actually PLAYING the music they're dancing to.

-He's also really, really unlucky, just in general.  He actually considers the other two his good luck charms, since they help him out whenever he trips or gets into a bad spot!

-He's the fashionista of the group, surprisingly.  It's difficult for him to find clothes that fit his body, so he tends to get a little creative with it and has a whole closet full of different stuff!  And since Cap'n is roughly the same size they'll occasionally swap jackets.

Cap’n:

-Cap'n actually has managed to score a handful of dates with girls in the past!  However, NONE of them went well, and only one actually made it to the second date (only to break up right in the middle of it), so he always ends up returning home heartbroken and in tears.  Sweet and K_K, by this point just ready for it whenever they hear that he's going out that night, always dry him off before he shorts himself out, take him to bed and cuddle with him (platonically, I don't see them as brothers but I also don't see them as having that conversation until Cap'n's ready, which he clearly is NOT), remind him that it doesn't hurt forever and he isn't unlovable and that he'll find someone eventually, etc.

-They have sat him down multiple times to try and gently suggest to Cap'n that he might just not be into women?  And that he’s actually turning them off by trying so hard?  To which he's always just like "No, of course not.  I'm straight.  Love the ladies.  Totally.  Oh no they didn't catch me checkin' out that one dude earlier did they?  Is that what this is about?!"

-(Basically, Cap'n is just a hopeless romantic in love with the idea of being in love, but is absolutely clueless as to how it works or what he actually wants, and his best buds are always there to catch him when he falls.  ;v; )

-The glasses are prescription -- he's SUPER nearsighted, a hardware glitch he refuses to fix.  Sometimes when he's working on something close up he'll take them off, panicking when he can't find them afterwards, only to have the others point out that they're just on his head.  He’s also got non-tinted glasses, but you will not catch him DEAD wearing those unless it’s an absolute emergency.

-This dude is SUPREMELY insecure with himself.  Like, his rather questionable fixation on romance aside, he basically runs off of others' validation, the "cool" persona he's spent much of his life building up being how he hides the fact that he isn't really sure who he is, or what he wants to do with his life, or what he's even good for -- the others have learned to check on him now and then whenever he hides away in the back of the shop, since he can slip into some pretty dark places when left alone to sulk.  It took a long time for him to open up even to them to share his feelings, and sometimes still has doubts about whether they or anyone else really care about him as more than just The Smooth One...

-He's the only one of the three to actually enjoy the occasional silence, especially when he's trying to think, or whenever he's upset.  So, his headphones also serve a dual purpose -- they're noise-cancelling!

-He's the video guy, carrying around a small camcorder and constantly trying to record the group's activities, to put together into music videos!  He also just likes to record himself doing stupid stunts for posterity, though K_K just takes these and makes (affectionate) blooper reels.

-Cap'n is not his real name, similar to K_K.  However, unlike K_K, he refuses to say what it is, just that it's embarrassing.

K_K:

-K_K has a bad habit of just completely zoning out when he gets into his music, getting completely lost in the groove and needing to be pulled back to reality.  It's not a bad thing during jam sessions, but at work, or in the middle of a battle...not so much.

-He kind of needs to have some kind of music going at all times -- silence drives him absolutely CRAZY!  Though, because he gets distracted by his own music, he then misses out on entire conversations, only tuning back in towards the end.  Sometimes the other two have to repeat or summarize what they just said for him.

-He knows sign language, and taught the others to use it.  They're able to communicate reasonably well no matter how loud their shop gets, or on days when K_K isn't able to form words properly (he's just shy, and even when he isn't he gets tongue-tied a LOT).

-He's easily the best dancer of the three, and uses his extendable body to get really creative with his moves!  He even knows a little ballroom, somehow, which he'll pull out sometimes to make the others laugh.

-(Seriously, K_K CANNOT stand to see Sweet or Cap'n not smiling.  He'll do anything to keep the group's spirits up, usually cracking jokes during a scrap project or doing little favors, and they appreciate all his efforts!)

-K_K has the WORST sleep cycle, ever.  If you let him, he will stay up all night working or partying, finally going to bed at 6AM, and will then sleep until 6PM if the others don't wake him up at some point.  If they know he was up really late they'll let him sleep in a little, but he's often pretty sleep-deprived and running solely on sugar and caffeine, which doesn't help his natural loopiness.  

-He is a VERY physical guy.  Seriously, he will just scoop up and hold Sweet or Cap'n like a cat every five minutes; at first they were just like "Oh.  Okay.  We're hugging now I guess," but after a while they got more used to it and even anticipate when K_K is going to do it.  And he also initiates tons of snuggles and gives piggyback rides whenever one of his bandmates (usually Sweet) requests.  

-K_K actually scrapbooks, collecting pictures and little mementos of places he and the others have gone and things they've done.  After the library fountain is sealed, he pulls them out to show everyone else from Cyber City and reminisce about home.

-It's very hard to make K_K angry, since he tends to stay super chill and brushes off almost everything.  But, on those very, very rare occasions when something does get under his metal outer casing, he'll go full-on silent treatment, not speaking to anyone for up to a week as he sulks and stomps around the junk shop, and even refuses to play any music!  And no amount of sweets or hugs or cheering up will bring him out of it, either; the other two have learned to just wait him out and let him have his space, letting him come to them when he's finally ready to talk about it.

Misc:

-Though all three love everything sweet, K_K's the only one who really goes overboard with it, making whole meals out of candy.  Sweet, ironically enough, actually prefers more salty/savory snacks, while the less is said about Cap'n's hot sauce addiction, the better.

-Okay, actually, I will say more about it.  Cap'n loves spicy food in general, and literally drinks tabasco sauce right from the bottle.  However, he's got a bad habit of daring himself to eat hotter and hotter stuff, ESPECIALLY if someone is watching, and can easily get in WAY over his head before begging for milk.

-They also all totally drink battery acid like Queen.

-Heck, being both Darkners and robots, they can really eat literally anything.  Normal food, milk, oil, batteries, gallons of pure sugar, toothpaste, moss, glitter (NEVER let K_K get hold of any though, he gets lost in the sauce), broken glass, etc, and of course their own deep-fried CDs.  Only thing they can't do is water, since, you know, robots.

-With a lot of the aesthetics of Cyber City being close to turn-of-the millennium and early 2000s (CDs and boomboxes, popup ads, wired mice, Queen theorized to be one of those see-through iMacs, EVERYTHING about Spamton), I like the idea that the boys DO NOT have smartphones, and if you handed them one they'd have no clue how to use it or what to do with it.  But they do have cell phones:  Sweet's got an old flip phone covered in stickers (courtesy of K_K), Cap'n splurged for one of those that slide open and with a camera (he set his background to a tiny, grainy photo of the three of them!), and K_K has one of those indestructible Nokia bricks, that Sweet got him after he kept breaking all his other ones.  They can all text, but that's about as high-tech as they get.

-Same with tablets or newer computers in general, they might share one tiny netbook at most.  Cap’n never remembers to log out of his Dark World dating profile, so the others will snoop or post embarrassing things to it.

-They're really, really durable, even without milk -- they're made of 90s plastic and electronics, so it takes a LOT to take one of them down!  Plus, they regularly repair each other back at the shop (it took a LONG time for them to gain enough trust to physically open and work on each other), so as long as at least one's left to drag the other two to safety they'll be just fine.

-However, if they get splashed with water, caught in the rain, or worse, drowned, they will short out, or shut down on the spot to prevent damage.  Once they completely dry out, though, they'll start right back up, no worse for wear.  When only one of them gets waterlogged the other two will break out the hair dryers to dry them out faster, or even pop them into the oven in a pan of rice like an iPod that got dropped in the toilet...

Finally, backstory?

-Cap'n and K_K met first -- maybe both as new recruits to another, much less savory gang of music equipment robots, and bonded as a result of being put upon by the more established members (Cap'n probably even had to defend K_K more than once when his inattentiveness got him into trouble!)  But, they both had enough one day, and decided to break off and form their own thing, making music and selling CD bagels to support themselves.

-Sweet, meanwhile, has the complete opposite background, coming from a rich and important family of musicians in Cyber City who regularly entertained Queen in her mansion (hence why he always used to get sweets from her!)  But, he was kind of the black sheep, preferring his own style of music, and decided to strike out on his own as a street musician instead.

-They met when Cap'n and K_K accidentally set up to sell bagels on Sweet's usual corner, and he battled them to reclaim his turf.  But, they were evenly-matched (even two-to-one; Sweet's definitely the strongest of the trio!), and impressed each other with both their fighting and musical skills, so Sweet decided to join their tiny group, and thus Sweet Cap'n Cakes was formed.  

-After the whole situation with Queen is resolved, SCC turns their rebellion into an anti-DRM kind of thing?  Nobody can hold back the music, man!

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in May

Sadly, I kind of skipped writing a post for April. It was a mad month with so much going on: lots of emails sent and lots of stress. I started a new job so I’m getting to grips with that... and even then, I still watched a bunch of movies. But this is about what I watched in May and, yeah… still a bunch. So if you’re looking to get into some other movies - possibly some you’ve thought about watching but didn’t know what they were like, or maybe like the look of something you’ve never heard of - then this may help! So here’s every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of May 2021 Tenet (2020) - 8/10 This was my third time watching Christopher Nolan’s most Christopher Nolan movie ever and it makes no sense but I still love it. The spectacle of it all is truly like nothing I’ve ever seen. I had also watched it four days prior to this watch also, only this time I had enabled audio description for the visually impaired, thinking it would make it funny… It didn’t.

Nomadland (2020) - 6/10 Chloé Zhao’s new movie got a lot of awards attention. Everyone was hyped for this and when it got put out on Disney+ I was eager to see what all the fuss was about. Seeing these real nomads certainly gave the film an authenticity, along with McDormand’s ever-praisable acting. But generally I found it quite underwhelming and lacking a lot in its pacing. Nomadland surely has its moments of captivating cinematography and enticing commentary on the culture of these people, but it felt like it went on forever without any kind of forward direction or goal. The Prince of Egypt (1998) - 6/10 I reviewed this on my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon. For what it is, it’s pretty fun but nowhere near as good as some of the best DreamWorks movies.

Chinatown (1974) - 8/10 What a fantastic and wonderfully unpredictable mystery crime film! I regret to say I’ve not seen many Jack Nicholson performances but he steals the show. Despite Polanski’s infamy, it’d be a lie to claim this wasn’t truly masterful. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) - 8/10 Admittedly I was half asleep as I curled up on the sofa to watch this again on a whim. I watched this with someone who demanded the dubbed version over the subtitled version and while I objected heavily, I knew I’d seen the movie before so it didn’t matter too much. That person also fell asleep about 20 minutes in, so how pointless an argument it was. Howl’s Moving Castle boasts superb animation, the likes of which I’ve only come to expect of Miyazaki. The story is so unique and the colours are absolutely gorgeous. This may not be my favourite from the legendary director but there’s no denying its splendour.

Bāhubali: The Beginning (2015) - 3/10 The next morning I watched some absolute trash. This crazy, over the top Indian movie is hilarious and I could perhaps recommend it if it weren’t so long. That being said, Bāhubali was not a dumpster fire; it has a lot of good-looking visual effects and it’s easy to see the ambition for this epic story, it just doesn’t come together. There’s fun to be had with how the main character is basically the strongest man in the world and yet still comes across as just a lucky dumbass, along with all the dancing that makes no sense but is still entertaining to watch. Seven Samurai (1954) - 10/10 If it wasn’t obvious already, Seven Samurai is a masterpiece. I reviewed this on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, so more thoughts can be found there. Red Road (2006) - 6/10 Another recommendation on episode 30 of the podcast. Red Road really captures the authentic British working class experience. Before Sunrise (1995) - 10/10 One of the best romances put to film. The first in Richard Linklater’s Before Trilogy is undoubtedly my favourite, despite its counterparts being almost equally as good. It tells the story of a young couple travelling through Europe, who happen to meet on a train and spend the day together. It is gloriously shot on location in Vienna and features some of the most interesting dialogue I’ve ever seen put to film. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

Tokyo Story (1953) - 9/10 This Japanese classic - along with being visually and sonically masterful - is a lot about appreciating the people in your life and taking the time to show them that you love them. It’s about knowing it’s never too late to rekindle old relationships if you truly want to, which is something I’ve been able to relate to in recent years. It broke my heart in two. Tokyo Story will make you want to call your mother. Before Sunset (2004) - 10/10 Almost a decade after Sunrise, Sunset carries a sombre yet relieving feeling. Again, the performances from Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke take me away, evoking nostalgic feelings as they stroll through the contemporary Parisian streets. There is no regret in me for buying the Criterion blu-ray boxset for this trilogy. Before Midnight (2013) - 10/10 Here, Linklater cements this trilogy as one of the best in film history. It’s certainly not the ending I expected, yet it’s an ending I appreciate endlessly. Because it doesn’t really end. Midnight shows the troubling times of a strained relationship; one that has endured so long and despite initially feeling almost dreamlike in how idealistically that first encounter was portrayed, the cracks appear as the film forces you to come to terms with the fact that fairy-tale romances just don’t exist. Relationships require effort and sacrifice and sometimes the ones that truly work are those that endure through all the rough patches to emerge stronger. The Holy Mountain (1973) - 10/10 Jodorowsky’s masterpiece is absolute insanity. I talked more about it on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) - 10/10 Another watch for Grand Budapest because I bought the Criterion blu-ray. As unalterably perfect as ever. Blue Jay (2016) - 6/10 Rather good up to a point. My co-hosts and I did not agree on how good this movie was, which is a discussion you can listen to on my podcast. Shadow and Bone: The Afterparty (2021) - 3/10 For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed the first season of Shadow and Bone, which is why I wanted to see what ‘The Afterparty’ was about. This could have been a lot better and much less annoying if all those terrible comedians weren’t hosting and telling bad jokes. I don’t want to see Fortune Feimster attempt to tell a joke about oiling her body as the cast of the show sit awkwardly in their homes over Zoom. If it had simply been a half hour, 45 minute chat with the cast and crew about how they made the show and their thoughts on it, a lot of embarrassment and time-wasting could have been spared. Wadjda (2012) - 6/10 Another recommendation discussed at length on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Wadjda was pretty interesting from a cultural perspective but largely familiar in terms of story structure.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) - 2/10 A truly terrible movie with maybe one or two scenes that stop it from being a complete catastrophe. Tom Green tried to create something that almost holds a middle finger to everyone who watches it and to some that could be a fun experience, but to me it just came across as utterly irritating. It’s simply a bunch of scenes threaded together with an incredibly loose plot. He wears the skin of a dead deer, smacks a disabled woman over and over again on the legs to turn her on, and he swings a newborn baby around a hospital room by its umbilical cord (that part was actually pretty funny). I cannot believe I watched this again, although I think I repressed a lot of it since having seen it for the first time around five years ago. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 - (2011) I have to say, these movies seem to get better with each instalment. They’re still not very good though. That being said, I’m amazed at how many times I’ve watched each of the Twilight movies at this point. This time around, I watched Breaking Dawn - Part 1 with a YMS commentary track on YouTube and that made the experience a lot more entertaining. Otherwise, this film is super dumb but pretty entertaining. I would recommend watching these movies with friends. Solaris (1972) - 8/10 Andrei Tarkovsky’s grand sci-fi epic about the emotional crises of a crew on the space station orbiting the fictional planet Solaris is much as strange and creepy as you might expect from the master Russian auter. I had wanted to watch this for a while so I bought the Criterion blu-ray and it’s just stunning. It’s clear to see the 2001: A Space Odyssey inspiration but Solaris is quite a different beast entirely. Jaws (1975) - 4/10 I really tried to get into this classic movie, but Jaws exhibits basically everything I don’t like about Steven Spielberg’s directing. For sure, the effects are crazily good but the story itself is poorly handled and largely uninteresting. It was just a massive slog to get through.

Darkman (1990) - 6/10 Sam Raimi’s superhero movie is so much fun, albeit massively stupid. Further discussion on Darkman can be found on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Darkman II: The Return of Durant (1995) - 1/10 Abysmal. I forgot the movie as I watched it. This was part of a marathon my friends and I did for episode 32 of our podcast. Darkman III: Die Darkman Die (1996) - 1/10 Perhaps this trilogy is not so great after all. Only marginally better than Darkman II but still pretty terrible. More thoughts on episode 32 of my podcast. F For Fake (1973) - 8/10 Rewatching this proved to be a worthwhile decision. Albeit slightly boring, there’s no denying how crazy the story of this documentary about art forgers is. The standout however, is the director himself. Orson Welles makes a lot of this film about himself and how hot his girlfriend is and it is hilarious.

The Mitchells vs. The Machines (2021) - 4/10 More style over substance, Sony’s new animated adventure wants so much to be in trend with the current internet culture but it simply doesn’t understand what it’s emulating. There’s a nyan cat reference, for crying out loud. For every joke that works, there are about ten more that do not and were it not for the wonderful animation, it simply wouldn’t be getting so much praise. Taxi Driver (1976) - 10/10 The first movie I’ve seen in a cinema since 2020 and damn it was good to be back! I’ve already reviewed Taxi Driver in my March wrap-up but seeing it in the cinema was a real treat. Irreversible (2002) - 8/10 One of the most viscerally horrendous experiences I’ve ever had while watching a movie. I cannot believe a friend of mine gave me the DVD to watch. More thoughts on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Don’t watch it with the family. The Golden Compass (2007) - 1/10 I had no recollection of this being as bad as it is. The Golden Compass is the definition of a factory mandated movie. Nothing it does on its own is worth any kind of merit. I would say, if you wanted an experience like what this tries to communicate, a better option by far is the BBC series, His Dark Materials. More of my thoughts can be found in the review I wrote on Letterboxd.

Antichrist (2009) - 8/10 Lars von Trier is nothing if not provocative and I can understand why someone would not like Antichrist, but I enjoyed it quite a lot. After watching it, I wrote a slightly disjointed summary of my interpretations of this highly metaphorical movie in the group chat, so fair warning for a bit of spoilers and graphic descriptions: It's like, the patriarchy, man! Oppression! Men are the rational thinkers with big brains and the women just cry and be emotional. So she's seen as crazy when she's smashing his cock and driving a drill through his leg to keep him weighted down. Like, how does he like it, ya know? So then she mutilates herself like she did with him and now they're both wounded, but the animals crowd around her (and the crow that he couldn't kill because it's Mother nature, not Father nature, duh). Then he kills her, even though she could've killed him loads of times but didn't. So it's like "haha big win for the man who was subjected to such horrific torture. Victory!" And then all the women with no faces come out of the woods because it's like a constant cycle. Manchester By The Sea (2016) - 6/10 Great performances in this super sad movie. I can’t say I got too much out of it though. Roar (1981) - 9/10 Watching Roar again was still as terrifying an experience as the first time. If you want to watch something that’s loose on plot with poor acting but with real big cats getting in the way of production and physically attacking people, look no further. This is the scariest movie I’ve ever seen because it’s all basically real. Cannot recommend it enough. Eyes Without A Face (1960) - 8/10 I’m glad I checked this old French movie out again. There’s a lot to marvel at in so many aspects, what with the premise itself - a mad surgeon taking the faces from unsuspecting women and transplanting them onto another - being incredibly unique for the time. Short, sweet and entertaining!

Se7en (1995) - 10/10 The first in a David Fincher marathon we did for The Sunday Movie Marathon, episode 33. Zodiac (2007) - 10/10 Second in the marathon, as it was getting late, we decided to watch half that evening and the last half on the following evening. Zodiac is a brilliant movie and you can hear more of my thoughts on the podcast (though I apologise; my audio is not the best in this episode). Gone Girl (2014) - 10/10 My favourite Fincher movie. More insights into this masterpiece in episode 33 of the podcast. Friends: The Reunion (2021) - 6/10 It was heartwarming to see the old actors for this great show together again. I talked about the Friends reunion film at length in episode 33 of my podcast.

Wolfwalkers (2020) - 10/10 I reviewed this in an earlier post but would like to reiterate just how wonderful Wolfwalkers is. If you get the chance, please see it in the cinema. I couldn’t stop crying from how beautiful it was. Raya and The Last Dragon (2021) - 6/10 After watching Wolfwalkers, I decided I didn’t want to go home. So I had lunch in town and booked a ticket for Disney’s Raya and The Last Dragon. A child was coughing directly behind me the entire time. Again, I reviewed this in an earlier post but generally it was decent but I have so many problems with the execution. The Princess Bride (1987) - 9/10 Clearly I underrated this the last time I watched it. The Princess Bride is warm and hilarious with some delightfully memorable characters. A real classic!

The Invisible Kid (1988) - 1/10 About as good as you’d expect a movie with that name to be, The Invisible Kid was a pick for The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, the discussion for which you can listen to in episode 34. Babel (2006) - 9/10 The same night that I watched The Invisible Kid, I watched a masterful and dour drama from the director of Birdman and The Revenant. Babel calls back to an earlier movie of Iñárritu’s, called Amores Perros and as I was informed while we watched this for the podcast, it turns out Babel is part of a trilogy alongside the aforementioned film. More thoughts in episode 34 of the podcast. Snake Eyes (1998) - 1/10 After feeling thoroughly emotionally wiped out after Babel, we immediately watched another recommendation for the podcast: Snake Eyes, starring Nicolas Cage. This was a truly underwhelming experience and for more of a breakdown into what makes this movie so bad, you can listen to us talk about it on the podcast.

[essaysbyciara]

It’s Been A Long Time | Nebraska Williams x Black!PlusSize Reader [Part 1/?]

Warnings: language, smut thoughts (my ministry!)

So this has been in my drafts for a *HOT MINUTE* but that photo of Trevante in high school triggered a release. If people dig where it could be going, I will add it to my list of stuff to finish and open up a taglist. I’ll try my best to do so, I promise! lol

“God, I played this album out…” Lil’ Wayne’s seminal album, The Carter, didn’t age at all. Back in 2004, Wayne was a secret about to bubble over to superstardom, just years shy of lollipops and Static Major (rest in peace). Wayne represented the teenage angst of your time, even though you toiled in the suburbs while he wrestled with the streets. But as “On My Own” damn near explodes your factory speakers, a high pitch ping from your phone pauses your trip down memory lane. 

Message from Sheena: Let’s catch up before the babies wake up. 

You hit the call button on your dash once you stop at a red light. 

“Girl, hey. You on your way to work?”

“Ain’t I always, Shi Shi? Damn near almost overslept. Thought I missed my flight.” 

Sheena, or Shi Shi, is the epitome of a best-friend-forever. You two met in Ms. Grayson’s civics class, 11th grade. On the first day of school, you rolled into third period wearing a Scream Tour II t-shirt and if you were to describe Sheena in that moment, jealous wasn’t even the word.  She stanned hard for Lil’ Bow Wow but her mom wouldn’t let her go to the concert because she got caught with a boy in her room. That boy is now the husband half-way responsible for the twin girls she’s hoping will give her some grace by sleeping a little bit longer. 

“Damn. You wanna gift some of that sleep to these twins, God mommy?”

“Only if you gift me some of those post-pregnancy boobs, Mommy Dearest,”

“Can’t do that. Jarell been having too much fun with those!” 

“Girl, eww. I don’t need to know all that.”

You kinda did. Sheena’s stories were always live, wild and uncut. And the only fireworks you’ve been adjacent to in months since you broke up with that lame stockbroker, Keith. You curve around the airport parking lot as Sheena starts digging deep into her latest soft-core episode with her husband since the six weeks ain’t up yet. In between interjections of how nasty Jarrell could be and watching planes taxi in the distance, you cruise through Instagram to take inventory of what your day might be like. 

Managing social media for the biggest sports publication in the country was not the fulfillment of a dream after high school because, shit,  social media didn’t exist when you were in high school. But it’s what has you just hours away from a flight to the NFL Combine in Indianapolis, sitting in a parking lot, listening to your BFF’s slow burn sexcapades. You break up the audio immersion experience once your timeline displays something else to ruminate over.

“Sheena! Shi -- shut up! I can’t believe - you remember Lisa from high school? She got married ...and it ain’t to Brasco.” 

“Whaaaa… you can finally stop making u-turns in the hallway and snag your man!”

You didn’t appreciate the lowly dig from your friend about Nebraska “Brasco” Williams, star running back, track champion and boy so fine he made both Omarion and J-Boog look like ogres. Your high school crush had you shook to your pubescent core; pretty teeth, deep skin tone and two tattoos before the age of eighteen. You’d see him in the student parking lot with the rest of the football team and you’d rush to your car as if it would go home without you. He was too hot to handle. You were beyond envious that Lisa could. 

“Lisa ain’t do too bad. Her man is crazy fine. I mean, not Brasco fine but still…” 

“Man,  he had high school going crazy. I wonder what happened to him after that fight? I should stalk him on Facebook while I pump.” You laugh so hard, the couple walking past your car stops their argument to stare at you. 

Your laughs break once you realize you might actually miss that flight. You relegate Shi Shi to kiss the twins for you and to send his Facebook profile if she can actually find it. You tried years ago and failed. 

“Aight, fave. I will.  Love you. Text me when you touch down in Indy.” 

As you weave through the terminal, your mind thinks back to the days at New Birth High School. While it brought you joy in a forever friend and the launching point for your forever career in sports journalism, it did bring you one of the most hurtful days of your life that took years to shake. 

It was the summer going into your senior year. Lisa’s sweet sixteen pool party. No way in Hell you thought you’d be there but your Mom and Lisa’s stepmom sat on the same deacon board at church and somehow thought you two were friends; Lisa paid you dust in those hallways. You fretted over every part of your outfit, especially the swim shoes you didn’t want but your Dad picked up at Sports Authority. But you were fretting the most over your swimsuit, a red one-piece with a deep open back. It was sexy for a 16-year-old, to be honest, but you secretly tried it on at the mall and fell in love with it -- especially how it made you feel. 

You fell in deep love with your body that day. The way the swimsuit clenched your waist, giving your almost-pear shape some definition you’d never seen before. Your hips sat wide, your breast placed taunt, just peeking through the sides, showing off a crescent shaped birthmark right below your collarbone. It was Jet Beauty of the Week-esque and it made you feel on top of the world. Something that society kept telling you a plus-size teenage girl was not to feel. You used the last of your paper route money to buy it and hid your secret weapon in the back of your closet until the day arrived. You were hoping to get some boy’s attention -- especially Brasco. But you’d take anybody’s glare if you could get it. 

You were in the clear once your Mom dropped you and Sheena both off at Lisa’s back gate. As you walked into the party, the sounds of the local hip-hop and R&B radio station blasted throughout her huge backyard. So much fun was had -- so much splash and dash -- that the faint sounds of “Knuck If You Buck” failed to erupt a party full of teenagers it was made for. The pool seemed tempting in 90-plus heat but most of the temptation came from the jacuzzi next to it. There inside sat Brasco, his lanky on-field wide receiver sidekick Kenny and Jarell, Sheena’s partner-in-bedroom-bust crime looking delicious in their highlighter-color swim trunks. You were still figuring out your body and the reactions conjured up from the sight of water droplets chasing down their backs confused you even more. But the heat of the sun -- and the heat from your body -- got too much to bear. That pool called your name. 

You stripped off your t-shirt and denim shorts, leaving your swim shoes back by the picnic table. They clashed. Your nerves splashed together like the water you couldn’t wait to feel, battering against your heart. Were you ready for all this attention? Amongst the rest of the classmates, you disappeared. You weren’t popular. People knew of you but didn’t know you, only associating you with Sheena by proxy of Jarell. “My Goodies” came on the radio, providing you a soundtrack and a sign from God. Before you could answer the call, Sheena jumped into the pool. You tossed your glasses on top of your clothes and did the same. 

The water felt golden. Sheena smacked your face with sheets of chlorinated goodness. Too much fun was had by all, even Lisa joined in the fun. Suddenly the entire football team did too except Brasco and Jarell, languishing on the edge of the jacuzzi because like most boys from their side of town, they didn’t know how to swim. Lisa saw her boo in isolation and tapped Sheena on the shoulder. 

“Hey, Shi Shi. Let’s get in the jacuzzi.” Sheena grabbed your hand to guide you out of the pool. You weren’t expecting to see your Mom at the other end. Sheena didn’t grab you to join her in the warm bubbles, she got you out at the angry-faced-behest of your mother. You both were going home. The party silenced and stares followed as everyone watched your walk-of-shame to grab your clothes. You got what you wanted in the worst way possible. 

Your unholy exodus commenced when Lisa’s mom called yours to report what she saw: this red bathing suit too revealing for a little girl to wear. It wasn’t the green ruffled mess-of-a-bathing-suit from last year. She claimed to witness stares and whispers and “boobs hanging out, butt all out.” Your mom got over there quicker than a church shout. She waited to scold you after she dropped off Sheena. 

It was a Sunday School scolding like no other. Tears pooled deep like the one you were just having fun in. You tossed the bathing suit into the trash bin. You were never going to see it again. 

The announcement of your flight breaks you out of your day nightmare. Grabbing the handle on your suitcase, you see a text with an attachment from Sheena. 

Girllllllllllll. I found Brasco and babyyyyyyyyyyy… 

You gasp. Time did a wonder on him in all the right ways. He packed on even more muscle, chiseling out the navy thermal dressing his upper body. Teeth still bright, Moonlight-bright. His Omarion-Pandemonium-era braids were gone, now donning a clean fade with perfect waves. His stance meant business, a lot of it risky. You bite your lower lip to mask the “damn!” urging a release from you, staring at his picture so intensely that you damn near walk into the stewardess checking your boarding pass. 

You couldn’t wait to get to your first-class seat. You needed a safe space to drown in your own splash waterfalls. You beg Sheena to send you his profile, looking to make some more of that mess and she obliges. Scrolling through his Facebook, you see nothing. You needed him to match your uncleanliness. Another text from Sheena breaks you out of your spell. 

Ain’t shit on here though. I can’t find an Instagram or anything. That’s where the dirt is at lol 

You put your social media skills to work. Ain’t an Instagram profile that you can’t find. Nebraska Williams brings up nothing. Such a unique name and nothing to show for it. 

Maybe Jarell can follow him, Shi. 

Jarell ain’t on this thing. He hates all this stuff. You want me to follow him? 

Girl, yes! I need more pictures! I’m trying to find his ‘gram and no diceeeeeee. Ughhhh. 

Damn the “no cell phone until after lift off” announcement. You then try “Brasco”, too many names -- rappers, really--  and a dog company to boot. “Brasco Williams” yields no results. You couldn’t wait what could be hours, days,  weeks, maybe never, for a response from Brasco to Sheena’s friend request. 

You pull up Google as a last ditch effort. The results bring up what only seems to be archives from your now-defunct city newspaper covering one of Nebraska’s record-setting games from 2005. You know to quit while you’re ahead until you see a Youtube video: “Nebraska Williams (RB) New Birth High School (MD). uploaded by Donyell Williams. You remember Donyell as this boy who played too damn much in Geometry class but right now, he’s Brasco’s cousin who's Instagram profile came up on the first search. Thank God his profile wasn’t private. You scroll back far enough to hit the jackpot. 

I found it! @donniebrascowill is his Instagram. 

Sheena was right about the dirt. His posts were bare but his stories carried enough. Enough shirtless, weightlifting, fresh-out-the-barbershop-got-to-show-you-the-fade dirt. You hit the follow button before the stewardess asked for your drink selection. 

End of Part I

[himitsukki]

𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙖 𝙠𝙚𝙞 // 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙩

warnings: none! (now edited <333)

wc: 1,927

happy birthday, my little flirefly.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

when you first met tsukishima kei, you thought he was an asshole.

now, as your boyfriend of almost two years, he’s still an asshole… that you love.

it always comes off as a surprise when you inform people about your relationship, because, quite frankly, you both seem like polar opposites: you’re a person who can calm people’s hearts with just your presence. you always try to  offer help, and you try your best to be nice, because you know the world needs it. and, it’s always free of charge.

tsukishima, on the other hand…

“i told that bastard to get away from you at lunch.“

“kei!“ you scold him with his name. “i told you before, he’s not doing anything bad!“ your boyfriend continues to complain about your classmate who “keeps staring at you”, ranting so fast that you can barely understand his words through the sounds of the video chat.

despite the fact that he always picks the video chat option over the voice call whenever he calls you at night, it’s almost always just him doing his homework, with his phone leaned against the wall, or him doing his chores from around the house, with the back camera on and his phone tucked into the waistband of his shorts; you can’t recall having a total “proper” one-on-one video chat with him, with your phones directly in front of you and replicating a face-to-face conversation .

you’ve grown accustommed to his antics, however, and grown to love how it feels so domestic to just casually ask each other about your days. you even keep track of his chores in the tsukishima hoursehold, especially after the incident when his mother told him to turn the oven off after fifteen minutes and he forgot because he was in the middle of arguing what the correct answer was to that day’s homework.

you’re currently folding laundry on your bed and decided that while you’re at it, you’ll reorganize your entire wardrobe. you had your phone rested on top of two pillows and leaned against the headboard, you took a seat by the lower half of the bed to have you visible in your camera, but with various clothes thrown atop your sheets and pillows and even draping on your headboard, you’ve lost sight of your phone. you can only hear the slightly muffled voice of your boyfriend, now that it’s buried somewhere deep in your clothes.

“hurry up already, we still have homework to do.“

“i’m sorrryy!“ you whined, quickening your pace at folding your shirts into a neat pile. “i don’t know why i even decided to do this, this is a complete waste of time.”

“at least your closet will be organized,“ he tries to reason. you whine that it’ll only stay that way for a couple of weeks, and he tells you you’re an idiot because you’ll be the one at fault for that.

“just the jackets and sweatshirts left, then i’ll be done,“ you inform him after a few minutes of silence. it’s not rare for the two of you to be silent while calling each other; both of you actually enjoy the silence, and neither of you feel obligated to fill the silence with talking, especially if it’s just about nonsense. it’s just nice that he’s still with you despite the day having ended and that he’s one bus ride away from you.

“do you still have that jacket? the one i gave you when you dug out my closet a few weeks ago?“

“uhh...” you ruffle through the remaining clothes on top of your bed. “is it the purple one? with the cresent moon at the—“

“—back of the hood? yeah.“ you fished out the said jacket and tried it on, enjoying the impossibly soft material that’s only possible through years of constant wearing. 

it fits perfectly.

“it still bothers me how ten year old you and current me most likely have the same size.“

“you’re just small and short,“ he snorts. “i bet it’s even slightly loose on you, especially at the sleeves.“

“yeah,“ you agree as you pull the cuff of the sleeve to their maximum potential without stretching the fabric too much. “it’s hanging just a little bit past the tips of my fingers.“

“you’re forever a shortcake, [name].“

“listen, i never asked to be short, okay?“ you complain, but you can’t deny that you’re smiling as you joke around with your boyfriend.

it’s beyond comforting that he’d given you his clothing from his childhood. you didn’t even ask for it (as you do with his other clothing), but you remember organizing his closet and seeing a pile of clothes that he “kept” from childhood, and when you asked him about it, he pulled out what he said was his favorite,  gave it to you with a teasing smirk and said “you’d definitely fit in this.“

“hey,“ he starts. “hurry up.“ you dismiss him by sticking out your tongue even though you know he doesn’t see you, but tsukishima knows you too much to actually do that reaction, then scolds you for being childish while teasing you about doing that even he can’t even see it.

“heeeeey.” he drags. “it’s almost nine pm.”

“i know, i only have the jackets left. sorry,” you mumbled a genuine apology, aware that tsukishima’s tired from class and volleyball practice. how he’s able to balance being a student athlete while claiming to “not care about the sport”, you’ll never know.

“hey,” he starts once again.

“last two jackets, i promise—“

“i love you.“ you nearly drop the last jacket from your hands and look over where your phone is, finally locating it with it’s screen facing the sheets; his voice was low and muffled, but you heard it loud and clear. slowly, you reached for your phone, turned it over and see him properly facing the camera, his head turned to the side with his eyes checking up his screen for your reaction every few seconds.

“that’s unfair, you’re telling me that over call? and i wasn’t even in the video chat?“

“it’s rare that i even tell you ‘i love you’ and you complain about it?” he asks, his voice monotonous but his lips growing into a small that you’ve only seen him do when he’s really happy. “unbelievable.“

“i’m done with the clothes,“ you announce, placing your phone back to its initial spot as you transfer the piles of clothes back into your closet.

“great, it only took you almost an hour, congrats shortcake.“

“thanks, asshole. you’re the best boyfriend ever.“

the night continues on with doing your homework together (and fighting over which formula to use because you’re in different classes and have different teachers, for some reason) and just before you get ready for sleep, you let the call run a little longer as you do your night time routine.

“do you actually do this everyday?“ he asks when you tell him every step of your skincare routine. “i only do the basics. that’s so tiring to do everyday.”

“you’re complaining and you’re not even the one doing it… ‘kay then.“ you jokingly roll your eyes at him as you gently pat your final layer of moisturizer on your skin. “at least i’m taking care of my skin. they’re a wonderful organ.“

“okay, weirdo.“

he proceeds to continually pester you to go to bed as it’s almost eleven, and you both have to get up at five so you can meet up an hour later at his house (his mom adores you) and walk to school together, but you ignore him and his groans of complaint as you slow your pace to annoy him even further (then he threatens to end the call, so you run to your bedroom and flop down on your bed immediately.)

“end the call. i’m tired, i wanna sleep.“

“you know you’re suppossed to go all “nooo, i don’t wanna end the call” or “you end the call, hehe” right, kei?“ he glares at you through the screen, and you can only laugh in response since his cheeks are squished on one side of his face as  he’s lying down on his side. instead of intimidating, he looks adorable.

“i’m too tired to even lift a finger,“ he says as he closes his eyes. for almost a minute, you let the call drag on, enjoying the comforting sound of his breathing and the sight of his relaxed face.

it’s rare enough to see him so unguarded and at ease; it’s in moments like these where you continuously remind yourself to appreciate and be thankful of every little thing in your relationship. 

that being said…

“hey,“ you start. he hums a reply, but you won’t take that as an answer.

“hey,“ you start once again.

“what? i was already enjoying the silenc—“

“i love you.” the second you see his eyes open, you rush to greet him a goodnight as best as you can without giggling before immediately ending the call and muting your notifications for that app until five am.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

tomorrow starts smoothly with a wake-up call from tsukishima, your monring already complete with the sight of his bloated face and crusty eyes. he knows that you don’t care about his appearance, so he lets you see his worst visuals (in your eyes, however, he’s still unfairly handsome with all of that.)

you quickly got ready for the day; time flew by fast, and soon you’re ringing the doorbell at his gate, waving and greeting at his mom (who’s also the same thing) and greeting your boyfriend a good morning by taking out his (well, now your) jacket from last night.

he eyes you as you put it on. he’s unable to surpress his smile when he sees that the sleeves are, indeed, hanging a bit past your fingertips.

“i told you, you’re be forever a shortcake.”

“you’ve called me "shortcake” so many times, it doesn’t really mean like an insult anymore,“ you noted out loud, looking up at him through your lashes. "it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.”

“well you are a shortcake, shortcake.”

“annoying,” you playfully chide him with a roll of your eyes. at that action, he scoffs and grabs you by the sleeves, pulling you closer and reminding you to bring out your (matching) headphones since he’ll be plugging in the audio splitter.

“what do you wanna listen to?” you hum as you think about it, but tell him to go for whatever he feels like.

you let the clean tones from the guitar relax you, enveloping you in an atmosphere where you feel like you’re starring in an anime or some kind of movie. honestly, you feel as you are in one, because you know your type of  relationship isn’t all that usual, complete opposites and all. 

with the leaves turning orange and falling slowly around you, the visuals only supplement the atmosphere, the song sounding like the OST to your and tsukishima’s story.

suddenly, you feel his finger nudging itself between the gaps of your fingers and trapping one of them in it’s grasp. looking down, you see his pinky bent at the joints to hold your little finger captive. it’s shaped like a crescent. 

looking up, you see him audibly clearing his throat, awkwardly looking away when he sees you noticing. the faint blush on his cheeks makes you laugh, and you feel the atmosphere increase tenfold.

you’ll happily be in any movie, only if it’s him by your side.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ 

m.list

[tamorapierce]

Tammy's Spring 2020 Reading Recommendations For the Bored

Sooner or later the bookhounds among us are going to start joining my relentless song, from age five on up, of “I don’t have anything to read!!!!”

 I am here to help.  In this space, as I get to it (knowing, as my readers do, that I have no sense of deadline), I will be posting a constant set of collections of book titles by authors my team and I have read and will recommend in a wild variety of genres and for a wild variety of ages.  (And I’ll give a short hint as to the subject of the first book/series—if I did them all I’d never finish this.)  This last is for the many of you who are reading teen and adult books in grade and middle school, and those adult readers who are reading teen and kidlit. These people are for those who love books and don’t care who is supposed to be reading them.  

 Also, you may have to look far and wee, since we will be drawing upon not only recently published books but older ones that we have either read recently or that we read long ago and have re-read or have never forgotten.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you when the writing is archaic.  If you’re a true nutsy reader like the rest of us, you won’t care.

 -Tammy Pierce

                                                        *     *     *

Assume the book came out within the last 2 years unless I put LO next to the title, which means you have to check libraries and bookstores online and paper for copies.

 *     *     *

 Diana Wynne Jones  LO

A generation or two of fantasy writers, particularly those who love humor, bow to this woman as our goddess.  Not only was she out of her mind in a very British and manic way, but with her TOUGH GUIDE TO FANTASYLAND she taught a number of us to ditch some ill-considered tropes of our genre.  If you write historic fantasy in particular, move heaven and earth to track this book down.  There’s a bonus: some of the entries will make you laugh till you cry.

           She is best known for her books for middle grade and teens, but they are enjoyable for all readers.  I cannot list them all here because my fingers will break (curse you, arthritis!), but these titles will give you a jumping-off point.  And remember, authors change with each book, so you won’t encounter the same author with each title as the author you read in the previous one!

           The Chrestomanci books, all in the same universe, in order of story,

                       not publication

Charmed Life  (1977) An innocent lad follows his plotting egotistical sister to live with England’s chief wizard

The Lives of Christopher Chant (1988)

Conrad’s Fate (2005)

Witch Week (1982)

The Magicians of Caprona (1980)

Short stories

 The Dalemark Quartet begins with

The Spellcoats (1979)

3 sequels

 The Derkholm books are

Dark Lord of  (1998)

Year of the Griffin (2000)

  The Tough Guide to Fantasyland is standalone, but is a kind of offshoot of the Derkholm books.  You don’t have to have read the Derkholm books to get Tough Guide!

 There are other books and stories by Jones—I’ll let you find them on your own.

  Philip Pullman

To this day I am unable to call him anything but Mr. Pullman—that’s how much in awe of the man I am.  We’ve had dinner together, talked on the phone, talked at an event or two, done a conversation on audio with Christopher Paolini—it’s still Mr. Pullman to me.  (I was an assistant in a literary agency when I discovered his work, and I never recovered.) He is, in a word, brilliant, and his interests range through all kinds of areas, particularly history and religion.  I could have talked with him forever that night we had dinner, but the poor man had jet lag and I let him go to collapse.  It was one of the best exchanges of ideals, values, and books I’ve ever had.  

Read his work carefully, because what he discusses is never just the story on top.  No matter what he writes, he is making strong points about social justice, human nature, religion, and history without preaching.  He is one of the few male writers out there who can write female characters as people, not Something Different.  And you never know, with his work, where he will go next.

 The Ruby in the Smoke,

book 1,  the Sally Lockheart mysteries

Victorian mysteries with a female hero and male assistants,

           The Book of Dust and sequel,

first 2 books of The Secret Commonwealth

           His Dark Materials trilogy

                       The Golden Compass

                       2 other titles                

           THE COLLECTORS

           LYRA’S OXFORD

           THE WHITE MERCEDES

           FAIRY TALES FROM THE BROTHERS GRIMM

           I WAS A RAT!

           TWO CRAFTY CRIMINALS

           COUNT KARLSTEIN

           (I will stop here and let you find the rest. Most are available as Nook books.)

  Sharon Shinn

I discovered Sharon Shinn with JOVAH’S ANGEL, but a shortage of funds left me unable to pursue my interest (I am an economic disaster with libraries, so I buy rather than borrow) until, with a job and money to spend, I spotted THE SAFE-KEEPER’S SECRET.  It is the story of a medieval-ish world and a small village where a baby was left with a childless couple.  She is raised as their daughter and discovers, as she grows, that her mother is an important, a Safekeeper, the person to whom a secret can be told, relieving the person who told it of the weight of guilt from it, to be carried by the Safekeeper until the owner either decides to tell or dies.  (And if they die without giving permission, the Safekeeper never reveal the secret.)  The baby who is adopted by this town’s safekeeper becomes the safekeeper in her turn.

           The next book is THE TRUTHTELLER’S TALE, about a girl who acquires the gift (??) of telling the truth, whether the person she tells it to wants to hear it or not. The third book is The Dream-maker’s Magic.  The three main characters now learn why they have been brought together over the course of the two earlier books, in what I thought was a satisfying, if unusual, conclusion.

           And there’s more!  I just did the two I love best!

             THE SAFEKEEPER’S SECRET (book 1, two sequels)

           ARCHANGEL (4 books)

           TWELVE HOUSES (5 books)

           ELEMENTAL BLESSINGS (4 books)        

SHIFTING CIRCLE (2 books)

           UNCOMMON ECHOES

           GENERAL WINSTON’S DAUGHTER

           GATEWAY

 Daniel Jose Older

 I was a Daniel Jose Older fan before I was sent DACTYL HILL SQUAD for a blurb (preodactyls in flight!  Of all sizes!  Confederate spies!  Thuggish bigot northerners!  The backlash of Gettysburg and the forced recruitment of blacks for the war effort! And strong, smart, fierce kids of various ages, sizes, colors, national heritage, and skills doing their best to help the war against the slaves, keep escaped slaves safe, duck the cruel managers of the homes and jails where they are being kept, find a half-decent meal, free other kids in trouble, learn who’s killing their friends, and help the dactyls!  That’s part of it, anyway!

Yeah, I loved it.  And there’s at least one new book, and once I’ve mowed though that, there are his older teen books, and his grownup mysteries, with their half-dead taxi driver who doubles as a part-time troubleshooter for the undead powers in his Bone Street Rhumba series.  {happy sigh}

  Edgar Allen Poe

Yes, some of these are reminders of why we ended up to be the readers we are and to nudge us to corrupt—I mean, “introduce”—­new readers to the glories that are our legacies.

­

THE COMPLETE TALES AND POEMS OF EDGAR ALLEN POE

           Here are the greats:

poems like “The Raven,” and “Annabelle Lee”

stories like “The Fall of the House of Usher,” “The Telltale Heart,” and  ::shudder:: “The Pit and the Pendulum” (yes, a deep pit and a swinging pendulum topped with a razor-edged blade will be featured in this story).  

My dad would read these to us on dark and stormy nights when we lived near the Pacific ocean, when the fog came rolling in, softening every sound, when there were no cars driving by and no other sounds in our house but his deep voice and the crackle of the fire in the fireplace.  We would listen, soundless, as he wove the stories and poems around us and the foghorn sounded offshore.

           That’s the power of Poe.

  N. K. Jemisin

I think I began with Jemisin’s THE HUNDRED THOUSAND KINGDOMS, soon followed by its sequel THE BROKEN KINGDOMS.  The series ended with a third book, THE KINGDOM OF THE GODS.  She presented a rich and varied world from the aspects of people of different classes, showing the growth of societies and their formation.  I have a secret passion for society-building and social interaction, and whether or not a book is difficult to read (as Jemisin’s books are in spots because she refuses to insult a reader by talking down to them) is immaterial.  I want the world and I want the characters, and with her far-reaching mind and her respect for her characters she delivers each and every time.  I have read almost everything she’s written since that first trilogy: if I’ve missed something, it’s because I was in the middle of a deadline and on the road and somehow didn’t see it.  I’ll catch up!  This is just a sample:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

 The City They Became (pub’d April 2020)

 The Inheritance Trilogy:

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

           2 book sequels

Novella: The Awakened Kingdom, 2014

                       Triptych: Shades in Shadow, 2015 (3 short stories) 

             The Dreamblood Duology:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

                       Two sequels

 The Broken Earth series:

         The Fifth Season (August 2015)

                       Two book sequels

And there are plenty of short stories out there.  I may even have missed a book or twelve!

For those who prefer to hear my ramble in person, a video!

[spookywitch13]

I am here for you

Secret Santa gift for @jellyfishdodraw! Also for the Duskwood Secret Santa page @christmaswithduskwood

It's based on the AU of MC being strong in front of others until Jake asks. This is placed somewhere in episode 5 partly 6. It is based on the aftermath of the video that Lilly uploaded. This is Fem!MC x Jake. It's not canon compliant since this definitely didn’t happen. Also I will fully admit I am not the best writer but I hope you enjoy it. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Hate comment

Hate comment

Death threat

Hate comment

Death threat

Death threat

The comments and responses to the video that Lilly posted just keep coming in. Even after the video is removed they keep coming in on text messages, facebook posts, instagram messages, etc. I can’t seem to escape them. But I can’t let the others know about this because Jessy and possibly Jake would definitely try to kick Lilly’s ass. I scrub my hands against my face and get back to decoding the cloud storage.

*Jessy is Online*

Jessy: Hey MC!

MC: Hey

Jessy: How are you doing?

MC: I’m doing pretty well just looking for more clues. :)

Jessy: That’s good just try to take care of yourself as well and ignore that stupid video. Lilly is just trying to stir up trouble.

MC: Way ahead of you. 

Jessy: Ok that’s good just try to keep a positive mindset! You can always talk to me if you need to. <3 :)

Jessy: Oops got to get back to work we’ll talk later.

*Jessy is Offline*

I set my phone down as more notifications of comments and threats keep pouring in. Sighing I stare out my window dejected as my phone keeps pinging. Getting up and stretching my back I trudge into the kitchen intent on making myself some tea or other hot beverage. Something to comfort me as the messages keep piling in. 

*Jake’s Pov

“Ok I seem to be getting on the right track now, all I can do for now is let the program run and see what it finds.” I mutter to myself as I lean back from my computer. Running my hands through my hair I stare tiredly at the computer screen. “I wonder if MC is still up.”

Grabbing my phone I look to see if I have any new messages from her. Spotting a new message from a number that I don’t recognize I open it up.

Unknown: You two are absolutely SCUM of the Earth. HOW COULD YOU HURT THAT WOMAN!! I hope you both ROT in HELL for what you did!! Do you have no compassion for anyone?? What you two did was DEPLORABLE AND I HOPE YOU BOTH GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!

“Awesome, gotta love the people I get messages from,” I mutter, “Lilly why on earth did you think that video was a good idea.”

A sudden thought comes to my mind. Lilly didn’t just post my number she also posted MC’s number. Worry grabs at me as I glance at MC’s contact information. I don’t want to break her trust by looking at her messages without her permission but I also want to make sure that she isn’t getting messages like this. I’ll talk to her first.

*Jake is Online*

Jake: Hey, how are you?

*MC is Online*

MC: I’m good, how about you?

Ok maybe she isn’t getting the same messages as me. That’s good, I’ll gladly take the brunt of this to keep her safe and happy. Some people can get really aggressive with this kind of accusation flying around. The worry starts to ebb out of my body.

Jake: I’m alright, I just wanted to check in with you while I have some time. :)

MC: Can’t keep me off your mind? ;) 

MC: I’ve been just working on the cloud

Jake: Haha you can always make me smile. :)

*ping*

*ping*

*ping*

I glance away from the chat to see that I’m getting notified about a private conversation between MC and an unknown person. I freeze as part of the unknown sender’s message flashes across my phone screen. It’s a death threat. Fury and worry race through me as I click on the messages. 

*Spymode: MC and Unknown*

Unknown: I’ll find you and rip your head off if you don’t let that woman go back to her family!! How could you as a HUMAN BEING do this to another human being!! 

Unknown: We should just kidnap you to make you fear for your life like you are making this poor woman feel. You better watch yourself.

I watch as the messages just keep coming not just from this person but others. Hate comments and death threats from random strangers on the internet who have no idea what is actually going on. Concern fills my chest as I quickly realise that MC has been getting way more than me. Going back to my conversation with MC I realise that she’s been dealing with this without mentioning it to anyone.

MC: I’m feeling pretty drained today but I’m hoping to get a new file from Hannah’s cloud soon.

Jake: Ok just don’t overwork yourself, afterall where would I be without my partner in crime. ;)

MC: Haha good thing we’ll never know the answer to that.

MC: I’m gonna head to bed, have a goodnight Jake I hope you have a good night’s sleep.

Jake: Goodnight MC. Sweet dreams. :)

*MC is Offline*

*Jake is Offline*

“Time to get another pot of coffee going, I’ve got some work to do regarding these messages.” I mutter darkly as I glare at the unknown senders. No one is going to hurt MC and get away with it, not with me here. Time to put my skills to good use.

Grabbing a new cup of coffee I get to work on making sure that these people can’t reach her anymore on any platform that she’s a part of.

*MC’s Pov-The next day

Sun shines through my window waking me up. Ignoring my phone for a little bit I work on getting myself a cup of coffee. New day hopefully with no new messages. I gingerly grab my phone and take a deep breath.

“Ok time to face the music.” I mutter, turning it on and quickly glancing at the screen. 

NO NEW MESSAGES

“Oh thank goodness I get to have a little bit of good morning,” I say as I sip my coffee. Scrolling through my messages I quickly notice that all the hate messages and death threats are gone. 

RING!

My phone suddenly rings causing me to almost throw it in surprise. I really need to turn that ringer down. Glancing at the screen I notice Jake’s icon pop up as an incoming call. I quickly press answer and move to sit down on my couch.

“Hey Jake.” I say as the call connects through.

“Why didn’t you mention it? Why didn’t you say that you were getting hate and death threats from Lilly’s video?” His voice filters through still distorted through whatever audio thing he uses.

“I didn’t want to worry you guys and I didn’t think it was that important.” I comment quietly as I begin putting the pieces together.

“It’s important to me!” He doesn’t quite yell it but it’s almost a yell. “I could’ve set the software up earlier and you wouldn’t have had to go through all that.”

“I didn’t want to add more to your plate, you are already really busy plus it wasn’t that big of a deal.” I say tightly trying to hold back the overwhelming flow of emotions as the last couple of days begin to catch up to me.

“MC, I don’t care if I’m busy. Yes I want to find Hannah as quickly as possible but I also want to make sure that you are safe as well. I care about you and your wellbeing more than I could ever care about the amount of work I’m going through,” He says gently.

Hearing him say that is the final straw, all the stress and fear from the last couple of days breaks free and I just start crying on the phone. It’s definitely not a pretty cry I can barely speak as Jake tries to console me over the phone. I hear a knock on my front door as I try to get my crying under control.

“MC please open the door,” He says.

I get to my feet and stumble to the front door opening it with my phone still against my ear. Standing in front of my door is a man with a black hoodie, who's holding his phone to his ear.

“Hey MC.” He says gently and ends the phone call. “I can’t stay too long but I wanted to make sure you were doing alright.”

I move aside to let him in and close my door. Putting my phone down I turn to him. He kinda blushes and scratches the back of his neck.

“Sorry I know I should have messaged you ahead of time to let you know that I was coming but I didn’t want to risk it with everything going on.” He says averting his eyes in embarrassment. “Do you want a hug?”

Nodding I wrap my arms around his midsection pressing my face into his shoulder as I sob letting out all the turmoil within me. He gently rubs my back comfortingly.

“It’ll be ok, don’t worry MC. I’ve got you let it all out.” He whispers into my hair as he continues to hold me. We stay like this for a little bit before I finally start to calm down. 

Even though I stopped crying Jake hasn’t let go of me, in fact he's holding me tighter. I clear my throat and step back a little bit. Now that I’ve let everything out I’m just feeling drained. He gently guides me to the couch and we sit together on it.

“How long are you going to be able to stay?” I ask quietly, my throat still raw from crying.

“A couple of hours at most but I don’t want to risk it too much.” He says as he wraps his arms around me again pulling me towards him. I’m positioned in a way that makes it so that I am leaning against him with my head over his heart. “No matter what happens I want you to know that I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

I nod tiredly as the emotional release drains me of all the energy I had. I close my eyes and listen to the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat in my ear. His hand is still rubbing my back gently. Even though I’ve never met this guy in person before with all the texting we’ve been doing I still feel comfortable around him.

Even though I know he’ll be gone soon I’m gonna enjoy this moment for as long as I can. I start to drift off slightly when I feel him press a gentle kiss to my head. I know that we still have a lot of things to do but this moment will be forever imprinted in my memories.

The End

Again I really hope you like your gift! Happy Holidays!!

-SpookyWitch13

[gabelish]

Turning TBWA into a novel was the best thing for the project but my friend who is a musician was going to make sounds and music for it and I will forever mourn the loss of cool soundscapes I was going to direct so I’m gonna share some of the ideas I had here:

i had a vision of during Holly’s hallucination we would’ve had her mom and her three sisters telling her “you’re lying” “you’re looking for attention” “keep quiet. you don’t want dad to get in trouble do you?” in response to her trying to tell them her father was molesting her when she was a kid. it would’ve been very pleasing to the ears at least as a director of audio. it would’ve started one voice one after another, split between L & R headphones, and then devolving into the audio overlapping of them yelling at her, in both ears, getting louder and the sound of blood pounding in the background.

during all these hallucination sequences, there is an audio cue that sits in the background to let the audience know “Hey! This is a hallucination! This is not actually happening! The characters are STILL in the arctic research station” which I wound up explaining in canon as basically the way the dream-eater causes hallucinations is by emitting this “song” which barrages your brain with Theta brainwaves (which are the ones you usually emit while dreaming & hallucinating, (& being creative, interestingly enough) among other radio waves. during Holly’s above described hallucination, this “song” would’ve grown louder right at the end in conjunction with the blood pounding/taunting of the family overlapping.

still in the book but would’ve sounded cooler in audio form instead of just being described. the sound the dream-eater makes while walking through the halls. the creature is normally invisible to human eyes but you can still hear it. imagine (auditorally) sound of a character walking down an empty hall, only their footsteps and machinery fans for ~20 seconds. and then a very quick staccato noise, which sounds like someone drumming their nails on a table only… wetter and… less “predictable rhythm of fingers on table” but rather more “hurried, insect-like scuttling”. Whatever a running centipede must sound like if you put a microphone right by all those legs. *shudders*

the aforementioned dream-eater “song” was going to sound something like a that ghost choir song but much more evil. like, evil Latin choir music? except there would’ve been be human words making lyrics. just warbling pitches like oooOOOOOOOooöööö. ya feel? just something that sounds completely inhuman.

for [spoiler] reasons after a while the characters play classical music over the PA 24/7, which in audio format, would’ve simply been the background track at a low volume (also so I didn’t have to deal with heavily editing background static/silence). but in ch 17 the speakers gets damaged and some rooms are completely silent, but there are a few rooms where the speakers are semi-functional, so I would’ve had fun terrorizing people by forcing you to listen to the digital equivalent of putting an 8track of Beethoven’s 9th through a garbage disposal.

Franz’s character theme song was basically going to be a knock-off all piano version of For The Damaged Coda by Blonde Redhead.

Not tagging because I feel like I’ve tagged TOO MUCH lately.