Wait I'm not done yet, returning to the matter of LoZ here.
I have never liked the fact that the Gerudo are all women. This is not because I don't think that a tribe of powerful women that are merchants and warriors and can steamroll the majority of Hyrule isn't impressive and awe-inspiring. It's because of the implications. By design, the Gerudo, unlike the other races, have to rely on Hylians. The inevitability of subservience to Hyrule is baked right into the very fabric of their society. To top it off, their king, their hero, is born to become the root of all evil in the eyes of Hyrule. Their place in Hyrule is to repent and bow their heads and accept whatever it is that Hyrule wishes to inflict on them, whether it be to extend an olive branch and form an alliance or to suffer annexation and annihilation. The marriage classes in BotW/TotK always sickened me because the implications are built right in there: you must approach Hylian voe with grace and cuteness and defang yourself so that we may maintain the image of peaceful desert women, no longer associated with the man that calls himself the Demon King. This is so that we may continue to persist as a people, so that we may continue to survive in this world. The fact that, after Ganondorf, we do not hear of another Gerudo man ever being born to them just cements to me how the Gerudo are punished over and over for something completely out of their control, further cementing their reliance on Hyrule and being unable to back out of keeping the peace.
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I wanted to make a post like this for a while, but since i was asked the question i can make it here!
i'm also speaking as an actual black person....so if you don't like these conversations where black people speak on black issues and how we feel, then just ignore this.
So in the past, yeah I agreed with this but my opinion has kinda changed with TF One.
However, I am still extremely uncomfortable seeing depictions of Black human formers Megatron because most of it, especially in ship art is extremely racist and relies on racist stereotypes of black men being abusive, violent, and problematic when his partners are drawn white or lightskinned (i see this all the time in megastar and megaop art. megatron is portrayed as the huge brutal black man and starscream/optimus are the small white twinks who are being beaten by him - it's gross and racist but for some reason it's common).
In general, I think it can be harmful to make a slave character, who inevtibly turns into a genocidal war lord and a generally awful person, a black person (even with his redemption arcs). it also racializes slavery, when we know that slavery doesn't have a race, and Megatron himself is a gladiator. Gladiators are slaves, and one of the most famous gladiators was from Thracia. This again is mostly a fan issue, because I at least have always seen Megatron coded as white in the comics and in the shows. In many depictions, he has a European accent, voiced by white European people (posh english lmao, or in ES Scottish).
That said, in TF One, I'm willing to let it slide. That's because Megatron isn't the only slave. Optimus, who is voiced by a white man, is also a slave, as is Elita, and Bumblebee. I think you know, not racializing slavery and having this notion that slave = black by default, is what makes it okay.
I still wouldn't feel super comfortable seeing Black megatron fanart because again, none of the depictions have been good in my opinion, as a Black person. And i mean none of them, and I do wonder where the thought in this fandom came from that making a person who canonically is violent and aggressive, was okay, just because he happened to be a slave. It is a far too common trope that I see in fanfic and fanfart, especially again...in a shipping sphere.
But I think TF One is able to balance it out, and since this is D-16, he is. a lot calmer, kinder, etc. I think things can get in muddy area when he eventually does turn into Megatron and he becomes the genocidal tyrant we all know and love....especially when you make the black one of the group the one who chooses violence whereas the white voices ones don't.
but who knows? My opinions are ever changing depending on how things are handled.
if you disagree with this, that's fine just do so respectfully and i mean at least be black
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Genuinely shoutout (?) to Elisabeth Durst for being so overwhelmingly unpleasant that a whole-ass party of variously kinky "I support women's wrongs" queers have just universally gone oh no, nonono, she is the Unfun kind of evil, this bitch needs to die.
Like it takes a LOT for US to not even be going "this could have been solved with a threesome" because like first of all that would Not have solved whatever is wrong with this woman
and second of all, Get Away From Her Actually
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my queue was supposed to run out tonight (11/19) - i'm nothing if not someone who clings to dates and anniversaries, and exactly a month ago, i realized i had enough posts stowed in it to last until today. of all the days. kismet. you know when it's time to go. but i ended up adding some posts from my (still copious) drafts, and no matter how i finagled it, it was impossible to make them all fit by the time today ended. so it gets a little bit of extra time. maybe, in honor of this blog's existence, that's fitting.
you all know this, i've said it, typically in gratitude, many times already. this blog was never meant to last. i came back in november 2020 expecting a couple of months, maybe to be here until the new year. i told very few people, anticipating the goodbye, not wanting to cause anyone undue anguish when i had to vanish again. something i didn't expect was the sheer (admittedly devasting) emotion that would tie itself to those two weeks when i started interacting again, nor that it would have any outreach or impact, but somehow it did. then time kept spinning on, extending itself, gossamer threads unfurling each day. my following kept growing, far beyond what i could have anticipated, greater than i'd ever established on any of my previous blogs. moving around is unfortunately a pattern at this point, every time for reasons that felt quietly catastrophic. not being able to pay bills for a while. angel's death and the ensuing difficult circumstances. so here, i kept anxiously imagining why i'd eventually have to leave, how to plan for it. poverty issues. the homelessness we were facing through the entirety of a couple of years until last august (and my dad having to be the saving grace). worsening health issues. i never knew, i couldn't predict it, i just worried about it. often tried to brace for it. maybe i got too comfortable this year, because this was when i started to think it wouldn't happen, that i really could stay. little did i know. and the reasons...are not reasons i ever fathomed, why would i have? how could i have? i wish it weren't so. (i wish a lot of things.)
i thought sometimes about the words i would leave you with, none of which are suitable now. i almost wrote nothing, yet found that feeling wrong, couldn't leave without something about parting.
thus it turns out i'm leaving before it's strictly necessary, before it's the fear of personal catastrophe coming to fruition, not knowing what i'll do or where i'll metaphorically go, as that is the downside of chronic illness and isolation narrowing this to my sole outlet. (lyrics keep running through my mind, there are always lyrics stuck in my head. no matter where i go, there'll be memories that tug at my sleeve, but there will also be more to question, yet more to believe...teach me to be more adaptive...help me say goodbye). my body is in such a fragile state right now (my mind not far behind) that maybe what i need to do is rest. just rest for a while.
this blog was never meant to grow the way it did, to take asks and have conversations like i did, that was a somewhat new (sometimes scary! often fun) experience for me. it's one that will never be replicated. to my loyal and lovely anons, i'm so sorry that i had to cut you off unexpectedly and couldn't reinstate communication - i know that you weren't able to reach out to me as soon as i did that, and that certainly wasn't your fault, it was a response to the tenor of this website. i apologize for the hundreds of messages i never had the chance to answer. i'm appreciative of the things you shared with me and all the times we got to talk.
i sincerely hope some of you learn to be kinder and wiser and less reactionary and more willing to learn and to listen rather than to attack those who have never wronged you and who do not deserve that. i'm being too nice, but i hope you learn that misusing your supposed social justice to do harm and foment hatred and stew in ignorant cruelty makes any principles you purport to have utterly void. my hope for that is low at the moment, but it's still got to be there. waiting to be found.
to those of you who have never been anything but kind, you are true treasures, the lights in the darkness, the loving and compassionate embodiment of human spirit. some of you have (quite literally) helped keep my mom and me alive, and i can never repay that or do enough in this life to quantify it. some of you have been here for me every single day, to listen and laugh and cry and understand. i don't think i would've bothered to fight through these past three years had i not had your presences in my life. i wouldn't have had as much of a reason. there are times when i still haven't felt like i had a reason, i struggle through so many varied griefs, but then i continued to wake up, and would come on here and find something joyful or beautiful or affirming that someone had sent or posted, and it gave me an anchor. there are passions and interests i shared or discovered here that were so uplifting and enlightening, and i will carry them in my heart always. being here to find those was such a blessing. being here with you to indulge in them was such a blessing. thank you. i pray your continued paths have more of that ahead. look at all the things you've done for me. there are certain things that once you have no time can wear away.
you know that line from the wizard of oz?: hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable. maybe that isn't true, maybe our hearts being broken is proof of something. there are people who hurt me on such a profound level who i know weren't affected by it at all, but i refuse to define my sensitivity as a negative. my softness (too soft for all of it, indeed) does not quite provide me with a weapon, but it doesn't crumple. hearts can be broken repeatedly and still beat, which i've thought about a lot lately. shattered souls just make a new mosaic. it's a different picture than it was before, but the color and light persists. and in the remains of that, a handful of people have shown me depths of caring and resilience that i wouldn't have gotten to hold onto otherwise, which is an extraordinary thing. the precious rarities have to mean something more, don't they? i would think so. i believe it. or i'm trying. i keep trying with all my might.
maybe i stayed too long at the fair. maybe this is a consequence of overplaying my hand, gambling a little too much with time to where it had to teach me something. maybe i needed the reminder that sometimes we have to fight to retain our spirits, and other times we have to retreat. maybe i needed a reminder that all that extra time was a miracle. i don't take it for granted.
whether we've spoken directly, be that consistently or in scattered flurries, whether we've interacted in very personal ways or simply in liked hearts on the dash, i hope there was goodness and light in it. i hope there's a memory i leave here that's sweet. (as long as i'm borrowing phrases, i hope you'll think of me fondly sometimes.) i hope there was something warm and enriching here. i hope you know what you've been and meant to me. i said so many times that this blog was my cozy haunted house - the ghosts will linger here forever, and i know they'll never mind if you want to step in and visit.
with all my heart, i love so many of you so dearly. i am so lucky to have your friendships. please move gently through life. please hold onto the things that illuminate it for you, and provide that where you can. please do your best to repair even the smallest of tears in the world. you are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
there must be lights burning brighter somewhere.
something yet remains. i remain. and i do my best to be brave.
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