#tw panic attack-ish | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

macheriee · 9 months ago

Text

𝒜pocalypse ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

⌗ everyone knew the boy’s father was lord commander of the city watch, that much was apparent. to your mother he was another insult to the throne, to you he was just the bastard, until he wasn’t.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 tags enemies to lovers, hate-fucking kinda, aunt-nephew incest, targaryen-hightower!reader, TW: dub-con (oc struggles w/ accepting she got the hots for jace) call it horny guilt lmao but the first encounter is very much dubious but she gives in, lust at first sight, domesticity, fingering, pussy-eating, jace is low-key a simp/sub, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, impact play(?), breeding kinks cause it’s HOTD, rough sex, oc is mean asf at first, happy but angsty ending, light to medium angst, pregnancy mention, kinda canon it lowkey follows ssn 2 n some of 1 but not by a lottt (ex. mentioned scenes/flashbacks), oc n jace have been aged up (20), tweaked a few things to make sense so not completely canon, slow-burn ish but then it’s just fast burn lmao, curly-headed!jace 4ever, TW: oc has a panic attack

ᯓᡣ𐭩 word count 10.7k

your lips my lips, apocalypse..

“Bastards,”

You’ve heard the strange term tumble from your mother and grandsire’s lips the day king Viserys brought forth princess Rhaenyra’s children. They each stood mockingly with their dark unruly curls and equally colored eyes, an uncanny resemblance to the city watch commander.

The truth of it was they were no true Velaryon, nor Targaryen—but a Strong. You wondered if Rhaenyra felt shame the way they came out with their plain features, mayhaps not as your mother said the princess was as stubborn as her dragon mount.

From the start Jacaerys was an aggravating little thing to look at as children when you both clung to your mother’s skirts. His eyes were filled with curiosity as were yours before Alicent found herself shielding you from his sight like she was afraid he’d sully you.

It was clear she had zero desire for her children to associate with Rhaenyra’s much to the king’s dismay (but when has father ever cared?) Your mother hardly kept you out of her sight and if it wasn’t her you were accompanied by your siblings, a handmaid, or Cole.

You never lacked in needing “friends” and grew fine without their company as you had Aegon, Aemond, and Helaena. Occasionally you saw Jacaerys and his brother running about like little savages in the halls but you’re pulled away by a Septa just short of crossing paths.

Jacaerys was the one who intrigued you the most. It might have been age but you didn’t understand why it was so bad? What had Jacaerys done for your mother to forbid you from speaking with him? He was a bastard, yes, but what did it exactly have to do with you?

Jace—Jacaerys, wasn’t a threat. You had no throne nor a title of some sorts to claim; there was nothing to your name, so why?

As children during joint lessons there were timid but not so secret glances exchanged. Mostly curiosity but it was something both Cole and your brothers disapproved of, especially Aemond who had come to Helaena’s chambers angry after a lesson in the dragon pits with Aegon and Rhaenyra’s sons.

Eventually they left for Dragonstone, never to be seen again until a day before your tenth name day when you’re called to Driftmark for Lady Laena’s funeral. Why you were called upon such a thing you don’t know, nor care really as you hadn’t known the lady much.

The entire event was a waste—your brother was maimed, the king being the king chose his eldest’s side and the family further divided. Alicent wept and mourned Aemond as Rhaenyra’s bastards would have your brother’s eye. You looked at Jacaerys in anger, resentment, and frustration.

Who was responsible, you don’t care, what angered you was the fact that they paraded their entitlement so freely and shamelessly. Rhaenyra could have outright said she wanted Aemond’s head and your father would still find a way to make excuses for her. (Maybe even give her what she wanted.)

That was the last you ever saw of him before leaving for Kings Landing to resume life without them. You found it much more enjoyable without your half-sister and her family around, in fact you’d rather it stay that way forever.

On occasion you found yourself thinking of your nephew. The memories clung to the walls leaving a bitter taste in your mouth, one in particular haunting:

You and the king stood together atop the balcony watching as Ser Cole trained with the princes—including Rhaenyra’s sons. It was clear Cole favored your brothers evident in the way he praised one side but barked orders (or completely ignored) at the other.

“They’ll make fearsome knights, don’t you think?” Your father turns to you with a gentle smile, his tone warm but distant.

“Possibly, if Aegon ever decides to leave his cups.” You fall into silence shortly after.

You never knew what to say to your father having been so distant and neglected it felt like you didn’t know him at all. You tolerated him at best and affection was out of the question leaving you with nothing, just mere acquaintances.

The king chuckles quietly and his mouth parts to speak with his Hand but Jacaerys interrupts with his angry cry as he charges forward at Aegon. Your lips part in surprise and out of the corner of your eye you see Ser Harwin circling, watching.

Aegon uses the straw dummy to avoid Jacaerys. He’s quick to corner the smaller, kicking Jacaerys down in the process.

“Don’t let him get up.” Cole barks which spurs the commander into action.

You watch in amusement as Cole is beaten to a bloody pulp by the bastard’s father. The king turns with concern, given this was no sight for a lady, “Why don’t you go and see if your mother needs something, perhaps your sister?”

You bow in courtesy, escorted away by your sworn shield but your mother’s apartments aren’t the place you’ll be going, no, you want to watch this mess play out a little longer.

“I wish to see my brothers.” You command softly, already walking towards the training grounds even if your knight was willing or not.

They’re pulling Harwin off when you step foot outside, Jacaerys and his brother huddle close while your older brother in particular looks both amused and bored of the entire ordeal already. No doubt still pissy about being grabbed and promptly scolded by the king (‘Aegon!’) .

“Sister,” Aemond greets once you’ve joined him and Aegon.

“How were your lessons?” You quietly fuss over his messy tunic whilst checking for any bruising or cuts on his face, thankfully none.

Aemond responds in kind with Aegon loudly interrupting but you ignore him and his poor manners. You can’t help the way your eyes flit over him and his brother from across the yard, your gaze scrutinizing and judgemental like your queen mother often wore when she expressed her displeasure.

The little bastard actually rises to the challenge. “Jace!” You turn in time to see him advancing quickly, expression full of anger and accusation.

“Is there something you have to say?” Jacaerys glares.

You look over your shoulder with a cool expression, “I don’t have anything to say, what makes you think that?” It’s agitating having to explain yourself to him of all people.

“Because you look like you have something to say, so say it!” It’s comical the way his cheeks and entire face glow red from anger.

You slowly turned to Jacaerys with folded hands placed politely over your front (as the Septa and your mother taught you), “I was merely talking about how Strong the two of you were out here.”

This immediately draws the attention of Ser Harwin. His face easily betrays his emotions but you simply smile at the commander, “It’s a good thing they have the city watch commander to guide them, isn’t it?”

Challenging little cunt you were, Harwin forces a tight smile, “Indeed, princess.”

He doesn’t get to stay much longer as the guards begin pushing him in the direction of the castle, away from his two Strong boys. You were going to wipe the smug face off that bastard–

Aegon shoves Jacaerys first into the dirt, sending the poor boy flying back as Lucerys panics calling out for him. Lucerys charges with a wooden stick in hand, his face twisted in anger and fear as he swings for Aegon, “Let my brother go!”

You scoff and stick your foot out, tripping the boy as you swiftly place a foot over his back pressing down, “Dohaerās!”

You put more pressure with each passing second he squirmed and cried. “Get off of him!” Jacaerys shoves Aegon off and runs at you, pushing past Aemond knocking him down too in the process.

You turn in time to see a head full of dark curls charging, your father yelling for everyone to put an end to this nonsense. “Or what? You’re going to run to mommy and tell her what I said?”

He stops dead in his tracks when you stalk towards him with a predatory look in your eye, “What’s wrong? Not strong now are you?” You shove him harder, causing him to stumble over the wooden sword, “Better yet, why don’t you call for your father to come save you?”

Harwin stills by the doors and the entire yard grows silent. Jacaerys clenches his fists tightly, “Ser Laenor isn’t here.” He grits.

You lean closer, eyes meeting Ser Harwin’s over Jacaerys’ shoulder, “Is he?”

The ‘Velaryon’ stiffens and you can’t hide your grin, “I was merely joking, relax.” You finish softly pulling away.

Aemond is there holding his elbow out for you to take, the two of you (Aegon included) disappear into the castle passing by the commander. Aemond himself shoots Harwin a look before uttering loud and clear:

“Bastards.” No one corrects him.

You remember the outrage you and your brothers caused with Rhaenyra. She demanded justice—especially towards you after learning you pushed her Luke to the ground and commanded him like an animal. She pushed for a harsh punishment, hell-bent on it.

Alicent, who usually was spoken over by her husband and every other man in her life, for once refused. Your mother made sure of it that no one, not even the king, was to touch or harm you, fiercely defending you against your half-sister.

‘Over words? You wish to have my daughter flogged over an insult?’

Needless to say your mother had the last say after some unsavory words and threats were exchanged in the council room. As Rhaenyra passed you met her eyes briefly before Alicent covered you with her own body.

They left like dogs with their tails tucked between their legs. You, Aegon, and Aemond stood over a balcony watching the ships sail and dragons pass overhead. It was as if they were never there to begin with.

It wasn’t always unpleasant you suppose but with age you slowly begin caring and thinking less and less about those Strong boys.

༺ ──────────── ༻

“There’s to be a petition in court.” Your mother solemnly mumbles from her place by the open windows, she’s in one of her moods again and you wish no part of it. Was it Aegon who went and managed to piss her off for the umpteenth time?

You barely look up from the embroidery you’re working on (it’s a beetle for Helaena who has been feeling blue these days), “A petition for what?”

Alicent turns to you with a melancholic look on her face, she’s smiling but it falls short and her somber mood once again returns. “Nothing of importance my sweetling.” She lifts her skirts to take a seat beside you on the floor, “What are you working on?”

“A beetle, for Helaena.” As you’re showing her the doors to your rooms open and a handmaiden stands by with a soft ‘Prince Aemond, your grace,’

“Mother, y/n.” Aemond greets as he takes a seat in the chair next to you, leg crossed over his other. “For Helaena?” He murmurs, leaning down to get a better look.

You speak amongst quiet whispers while Alicent watches, content to see her two children together. “Mother, the petition does it have anything to do with Rhaenyra and her sons?”

Aemond, who had taken the embroidery to try for himself, stops in his tracks. Alicent feared she wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret, especially not with you two being so perceptive all the time. Her prolonged silence was enough answer anyway.

“Yes,” she finally relents, “Lord Corlys’ younger brother wishes to challenge Lucerys’ claim for Driftwood.”

Her tone is hesitant and careful, she looks at Aemond when she says his name. She’s treading carefully with her third born knowing he was particularly sensitive when he got angry.

“By extension the rest of her I presume?” You reach for a lemon cake mumbling to Aemond (‘Share one with me… I said to split it, not have it all.’—‘I did.’)

With the king bed-ridden nearing death and his first born off at Dragonstone, there was no need to hold your tongue. “Her claim will be questioned, as will her first born and second,” Aemond adds.

“I worry sometimes,” Alicent finally says, silence following, “for you, Helaena, Aegon—the children.” You know exactly what she means to tell.

“I do believe Helaena has been in need of some company. You may leave me, I have Aemond.” You reach for her hands and gently squeeze, “I will catch up with you two, yes?”

Alicent studies your face in worry before settling on brushing a few stray hairs out of your face, “Alright, I will see you.” She lays a gentle kiss over your head and rises to her feet.

Once the doors slam shut you finally release the sigh you’ve held in through the entire conversation with half a mind to ask for a bath to soothe your oncoming headache. “Seems our dear nephews will be arriving on the morrow.” He comments.

“Hm, seems so.” You’re not entirely sure how you feel, are you supposed to feel anything?

Things were different now you suppose, your hatred died down over the years without their insulting presence. You didn’t like them either, merely tolerated the idea of them.

Then there was the great Jacaerys Velaryon, future of the realm and heir to the throne, the same boy who plagued your dreams and memories all these years.

And he was to be here tomorrow, the first since Lady Laena’s funeral (which you had believed to be the last time you would ever have to see him).

“You’re free to speak plainly sister, we’re in private, we don't have to keep pretending.” Aemond mutters, head lolling in your direction as he stares at you.

You tilt your head, “And what would you have me say? That I’m looking forward to their little visit?”

“What excuse will it be this time? I don’t think she can easily sway the people with the evidence right there in plain sight,” he hums.

The more you think about her and her children coming here into your home tainting it all over again—you grow furious.

“Help me up will you? I think I’ll take a bath and meet you with mother.” You hope it will be enough to curb your anger for now.

Aemond holds you upright and levels you with a stare, “Something’s bothering you.”

“Well, yes–”

“Not them.” Aemond replies quietly and for a second you still.

You gently stroke the side of his face, watching as Aemond leans into your touch with a closed eye, “I’m fine,” you murmur, “now go.”

Luckily Aemond’s just as sweet on you and Helaena as he is stubborn and observant. He lets it go (thankfully) and you’re left alone to think about tomorrow. You could easily feign sickness or escape to the Sept (you were due for a prayer anyways) but mother would never let you as much as she would like to—your grandsire’s word evidently still strong over her.

You soak in the boiling hot tub, enjoying the steam delicate scents from the oils you regularly use. “That’s a problem for another day,” you find yourself murmuring to no one in particular as you sink further into the tub, eyes slipping shut.

༺ ──────────── ༻

You had done your best to carry on with your duties the following morning.

Nearly an hour had passed since you sat around staring at your reflection instead of allowing the handmaids to dress you. By this hour you’d be with your mother and Helaena in the gardens. Your absence however prompts the queen to come searching.

“What’s wrong?” Alicent whispers sitting beside you on the bed with worry etched on her brow as she gently moves your hair from your shoulder, “y/n?”

You place your hand over hers, “Braid my hair, like when I was child?” You hold the brush out for her to take.

She has you sit on the floor in front of her, gently combing the hair brush through your soft locks handling each strand of hair with care. The two of you fall into comfortable silence (save for her soft humming). All of your frustrations quickly lift off your shoulders the more you sink into her gentle caring touch.

“The dress is beautiful, when did you have this tailored?” Alicent comments softly, it was no secret to anyone that she saw herself in her youngest daughter—dutiful, composed, a good daughter.

The only difference was you had freedom she never did. While she had been made a child bride by her own father, you remained an unwed maiden at the age of twenty by choice. Alicent didn’t push for proposals and Otto knew better than to try and meddle with you like he had with Aegon and Helaena.

(‘Aemond had it made for me, Helaena has one in blue.’—‘The fabric, I don’t believe we have that around here do we?’) Your doors open and your drunken (maybe hungover) brother comes stumbling gracelessly.

“Well don’t you look darling.” He comments under his breath and saunters over to where you sit, falling flat on his back with his head in your lap.

“Aegon.” Alicent warns as she starts on another braid.

You look down and flick his forehead, “You smell of wine, and you're going to dirty my dress.” Despite the annoyance you still comb your fingers through his hair affectionately.

Aegon snorts unceremoniously, “Is it a crime to visit my sister now? My very beautiful sister—do say, when are you going to choose a husband? You’re past the age, and well nearly every lord in the realm’s been asking for your hand.” He smirks slyly knowing very well the topic of marriage angered the shit out of you.

“Aegon that’s enough, stop pestering your sister.” Alicent sighs heavily.

Your eyes flick over to the wine pitcher in your maid’s hands, the threat clear. A harmless grin forms on his face, one you can’t help but mirror teasingly as the two of you settle in silence as to not disturb your mother with children’s banter. You left that for your niece and nephew to do.

“There,” Alicent shows you through the mirror, “do you like it?”

“I love it, thank you.” You leaned back to lay in her lap.

Normally she would frown at receiving such affections but because it was you she held her tongue, never truly bothered by any of it. She allows it for a little longer before gently patting your shoulder.

“I must go and see to it that preparations for our guests are going well my sweetlings. I will see you in court later.” She departs hastily.

“Have you eaten?” You ask Aegon, who shakes his head as you rise to your feet together, “I haven’t either.”

Rhaenys and her granddaughter are the first to arrive on dragonback, and then your dear half-sister with her entourage of children and Daemon.

‘Ha, so they really did it,’ Lady Laena hadn’t been dead for a week and these two had already frolicked around (the night at Driftmark, you’re sure the two figures on the beach were them).

No one had been there to receive them—you certainly didn’t bother, you doubt any of your siblings would. You’re outside in the yard watching Criston Cole train with Aemond again, your brother much more swifter than the knight in comparison to when he was a child.

There’s a proud smile on your lips when Aemond emerges victorious, looking your way with a grin. “Come to watch me?” He tilts his head.

“What does it seem like?” You muse softly after seeing that Aemond has garnered attention from other knights and maids, making a spectacle of his sparring in a outstandish way.

“It seems you want to spar with me,” he smirks.

“Daor.”

Aemond snorts, “Fine,” he picks his sword back up and points it to Cole, “again, I wish to win this next round in my sister’s honor.”

A handmaid is quick to bring you a chair, the sound of swords colliding once again filling the yard. Aemond’s eager to prove he’s surpassed Ser Criston and judging by the small crowd forming he’s eating the attention right up. You hear distant murmurs and whispers but pay no mind, it must’ve been the women from court again who didn’t know how to keep their mouths shut.

“Just look at their hair..” One of them says.

Everyone knows, father, just look at them..

“Princess? Are you alright, you look as if you’ve seen a ghost,” you hadn’t realized you’d been holding your breath in shock and anticipation the entire time.

The swords have stopped and everything goes still, Aemond stands with the tip of his blade pointed in your direction—not at you, but behind you. He had that crazed look in his eye again. You share a look and rise from your seat slowly.

“Nephews, have you come to train?” Your brother’s tone is cold with bitter hate.

Jacaerys stands dumbfounded and unable to form a response, you watch his (soft, plump) lips part but not a single sound comes.

“Nephews.” You quietly say with the tiniest of nods, “It’s been long hasn’t it? I take it the trip over was comfortable, was it not?”

Neither Lucerys nor Jacaerys answer at first with the younger curly-headed boy awkwardly muttering his response, very unbefitting of the next Lord of the Tides.

You barely spare him a look as you turn to Jacaerys, “Would you like me to show you your rooms? I’m sure they’ve been prepared already.”

“..We would appreciate it,” he finally replies, his voice no longer squeaky and high—rather low and suave, “seeing as there was no one to properly welcome us earlier.” His snarky response makes your skin crawl and your temper flare, but for appearances you reel yourself in.

“Apologies, nephews—it’s been a rather exhausting day preparing for the guests.” You force a polite smile.

He fixes you with a dark stare, his gaze dropping from your lips and then back up, “Mm.”

“Follow me,” you hum disappearing into the castle with the two Velaryon boys following close.

Neither one of you made an attempt to speak. What was there to talk about, they were practically strangers and you doubted Lucerys would’ve enjoyed recounting the last time the three of you had the pleasure of sharing the same roof. Jacaerys on the other hand must’ve believed you to be a fool if he thought you hadn't noticed him looking.

Annoyance runs hot through your veins as you finally reach the wing where their rooms sat, “I hope everything is to your liking, don’t hesitate to ask if you need something.”

‘Thank you.’ You hear Lucerys mumble but Jacaerys offers nothing but his heavy stare. “I’ll see you later,” your voice is soft and silky but the lingering (wanton) look you give speaks in volumes.

“Later.” You hear him faintly reply once you’re out of earshot, you can’t help the tiny smirk on your lips.

༺ ──────────── ༻

Court was as you expected—boring and another waste.

You stood by sweet Helaena, who was equally bored, listening as the second son of Driftmark cried over being replaced by a child. A bastard no less, you could only imagine the embarrassment he must have went through—or rather going through because it didn’t seem like he’d be getting a rest from it anytime soon.

During his speech you made eye contact a few times with Jacaerys. You don’t know why it felt natural, like gravity pulled your gaze to him over and over. When you would look he was already watching with the same hunger from before.

The whole fiasco ended in total failure because Vaemond’s killed leaving no challenger. You’re not surprised things worked out in Rhaenyra’s favor after your father wobbled his way to the throne and then had to be carried out because he overexerted himself.

Aemond shields both you and Helaena from the dead body lying on the floor, “That’s enough for today, you’re all dismissed. Someone dispose of the body.” Otto barks through the mess caused by Daemon.

You manage to sneak a last look before being ushered out by your mother and brothers. The walk back quiet and awkward, what was there to say?

“That was..something.” Aegon finally breaks the tense silence.

Your mother doesn’t reply and Aemond snorts, “It was another mess that’s what it was.” You murmur loud enough for them to hear, “Like always, they make a spectacle of themselves and father comes to save the day.”

“Should’ve known father would do that.” Aemond adds in, and it’s true.

You already knew the petition against Rhaenyra’s children of all people would be useless. It was as if the king had a sixth sense when it came to Rhaenyra. Funnily, he was sick enough to be bedridden these past years but well enough to come defend his first born one final time.

“Helaena, why don’t we take the children to the gardens? I’m sure we could both use some fresh air.” You find yourself asking, desperate to forget.

You end up spending the afternoon with Helaena in the gardens talking about everything and nothing. It was always a relaxing affair when it came to your sister and her children. You liked lounging around and watching the twins with a lazy eye. It felt nice having this small escape, kept you from ripping your own hair out over the family drama.

You’re in the middle of playing with Jaehaerys when your mother’s sworn shield interrupts, “Forgive me princesses but your mother has sent me to escort you to tonight's dinner with the king, he has requested all his children be present.”

Helaena’s smile fades and your mood is spoiled for the day, of course the king would pull a stunt like this.

“Hel.” You put a tentative hand on her shoulder, relieved she merely relaxes under your touch. The two of you hesitantly part from the children after promising sweets and more playtime.

Everyone’s barely arriving with your seat being between Aemond’s and grandsire. Aemond looks disinterested (as does everyone else) but you try to put up a farce for the dying old man being carried in. It was possibly his last dinner, might as well make it a memorable one you suppose.

No one wants to speak, Aegon’s got his hands cupped in front of him in exasperation like he’s itching to reach for his wine goblet. Helaena is mumbling to herself mostly and Rhaenyra’s other children stare at their plates.

“Father,” all eyes are on you, “forgive me as I know it was your wish for us to dine together but I’m feeling unwell and would like to rest if I may..” You trail off softly placing your hands on the table, ready to flee.

Jacaerys is still looking down at his plate with a deathly tight grip on his fork. The old croak waves his hand dismissively, smiling painfully, “Yes, go on that’s fine.” He offers a gentle nod at most, you don’t think he even remembers your name.

“Thank you, if you’ll excuse me.” You bow politely,

quickly moving for the exit without a spare glance.

You hear another voice but you can’t make out what they said other than the sound of a chair being pushed out. Something was telling you it was your Strong boy and the thought brings a mischievous smirk to your face as you look over at your sworn shield.

“Leave me, I’ll retire to my rooms alone; you’re dismissed.” You calmly begin walking away.

“But Princess—”

“Go Ser, I will be fine.” You leave no room for argument and hear him reluctantly let out a sigh before heading in the opposite direction.

With the guard handled you find your way through the halls humming in high valyrian until you reach your destination: the king’s council room. It’s dimly lit inside by candles, the windows are open with sounds of small folk singing and dancing heard below.

The slightest creak has you looking to the side without turning your head, “Unwell you said, you must like lying a lot..” He trails off in amusement as he plays with an ornament nearby.

“And what have I lied about nephew? Enlighten me.” You reply softly.

There’s no denying the thrill you’re getting out of this, Jacaerys was bold for following you like this, in a room all alone with no guards around. The secrecy excited you because if anyone were to find you two together—oh they’d think the worst.

An unwed maiden and the prince bastard of Dragonstone.

“You’re acting dense on purpose, putting up a farce—tell me does it make you feel better? Your words, actions—they’re insulting. I don’t think for a moment you’ve had a change of heart.” He scowls, stopping short of the king’s chair.

You spin around to face him with your hands behind your back, “Whatever do you mean?” You can’t help but bat your doe eyes.

Jacaerys hesitates for a second, “You know what I mean, do you take me for a fool.” He says low and threatening, ever so guarded with you.

“Hmm, I’m afraid I don’t know and if you’re just going to keep repeating yourself the door is right there.” You enjoy the look of anger on his face and part your lips to speak once more when he stops you with a hand on your forearm.

The touch is hot, scorching even as you feel the rush of arousal and excitement hit you all at once. No one has ever grabbed you this roughly, or been in the same proximity long enough to keep their head (you had your own way of dealing with unwanted advances).

Yet, Jacaerys still has his hand.

The audacity. “Let go you—” You move to slap him but he grabs your wrist just short of connecting to his face.

“You what? Go on, say it,” he eerily whispers as his hot breath fans over your lips.

Your calm demeanor slips and eyes narrow in anger, “You fucking bastard—unhand me right now!” Your yells are muffled when he seals his lips over yours.

You violently flinch backwards, the kiss bruising as you try pushing him off. In response he merely tightens his hold reminding you he was much stronger than the brat he used to be. Where you move he moves and if you take a step back he takes one forward. Jacaerys slips his hand through your hair and tightly grips, yanking you forward to keep you in place whenever you squirm too much for his liking.

You somehow manage to sneak a hand below your skirts for a dagger you kept and without hesitating bring it up intending to puncture his side. He sees and quickly seizes your wrist, squeezing tight as the blade slips and lands with a clank on the ground.

“I can see the way you look at me,” he whispers all breathless and breathy, “and it kills you to know you want a bastard like me doesn’t it—I wonder if you picture the same things I do,” he briefly pauses as his eyes trail over your swollen lips.

He crowds you into the table with a hand dropping to your hip, “It’s only you and I,” his lips connect with your ear trailing downwards, “you don’t have to pretend; all you have to do is let go.”

Your spine involuntarily arches from his electrifying touch with goosebumps erupting all over. You can’t help the soft gasp when he tugs you towards him by the hip. The very large bulge in his slacks presses stubbornly into your pelvis, hot and throbbing.

“Jacaerys we can’t,” you begin quietly.

“We can’t or you won’t?” He questions dismissively like he doesn’t believe you.

Your lips part and a shaky sigh escapes when he begins leaving open mouthed kisses over your collarbone and shoulders. You pray he doesn’t leave any marks to the naked eye as you’d hate to have to explain the marks on top of your request for moon tea.

“I can’t.” You hope he’d reconsider but to your utter horror Jacaerys sucks harshly over the soft skin of your chest where your tits sit perfectly cupped and pushed together in your dress.

You cry out from the surprise and sensitivity as your hands came up to grip his shoulders tightly. He gives your other tit the same treatment before dropping to his knees with the same lustful look in his eye from earlier.

“Tell me you want this as much as I do,” he pleads as if he desperately needed to hear it from your lips.

“I..” Do you really want him as much as he believes you do? The very thought of him defiling and tainting your purity caused a dark swirl of emotions within you—you want all of him.

Jacaerys licks his lips hungrily and pushes up your skirts until he’s settled in front of your soft thighs. His hot breath fans over them as he inches closer until he’s eye level with your moistened, throbbing cunt.

“..Yes,” you find yourself whispering after a few moments.

A pleased rumble leaves him and he closes the distance between him and your aching cunt. The first stroke of his hot tongue over your sticky folds has you keening in pleasure and your eyes rolling shut, head thrown back. You can’t help your lewd moan—all high and breathy.

Jacaerys works his tongue over your throbbing clit in firm strokes, hands greedily feeling every inch of your smooth skin. You choke when he throws one of your thighs over his shoulder, the angle shattering as he gains more access to your soft virginal pussy; ripe for the taking.

His lips part over it and he takes your aching bud into his mouth, vigorously sucking and lapping. “Jacaerys–” You choke out as his fingers tread over your folds dipping in to press against your soppy hole, the digits gliding rather easily aided by your dripping wetness.

His middle finger slips through—poking and prodding—until he breaches and pushes past the resisting barrier. There’s a sharp whine as your cunt flutters, greedily swallowing up his fingers, “Mmn..”

You notice how he gets when he hears you make those filthy little noises, the flick of his tongue sharp and his grip growing just a bit tighter. You can’t help eagerly rolling your hips on his face, shuddering as your bare cunt slides over his hot mouth and the tip of his nose dips between your folds brushing over your clit.

“Oh gods,” you gasp breathlessly, hips baring down faster and your grip on the table getting tighter.

There’s a filthy moan below your skirts, the vibrations against your pussy have you mewling needily. With little strength you manage to smother your cunt over his face again until he decides to stop teasing and seals his mouth over your throbbing clit once again.

You whimper out a garbled version of his name as the pleasure simmers hot in your lower belly. Your release hurdles towards you fast, almost knocking the breath out of you from how intense.

“Fuck Jacaerys..!” You gasp as the coil finally snaps; leaving you with legs spread wide and hips angled down with your clit in his mouth and his fingers curled up inside you.

You’re blinded by the hot white pleasure and the slick dribbling down your thighs (to which he greedily licks it up with loud unabashed slurps and moans). You shakily push his head away from your sore spent pussy, whining when he lands one last lick over your throbbing clit before letting up.

Jacaerys stands before you in a disheveled state with his swollen, glossed over lips. His tunic’s slightly rumpled and hair clearly out of place from being buried under your skirts for so long.

“Jacaerys,” you quietly start but he quickly silences you with another kiss, this one sweeter than the last.

You can’t help your sigh leaning into his touch, he treats you much more delicately than his harsh bruising kisses from before. He handles you like you’re meant to be—gentle, pampering, soft. The sentiment leaves you eager but disappointingly he pulls away and just..leaves? If you hadn’t been so out of breath you’d call out to him.

You lay your hand over your chest shuddering at the cool sensation of drying slick between your thighs. A rational side of you argues it’s for the best things ended before escalating but another wants to seek him out.

“Princess?” You hear one of your ladies in waiting from the other side of the door.

You shove your skirts down and fix your hair in an attempt to look modest. “Princess,” her face relaxes and she approaches you with open arms, “your mother sent me, are you still feeling unwell?”

“I’m fine, I’d like to have a bath now,” you take her arm biting your inner cheek to fight the fierce heat blossoming over them from embarrassment, “you shall speak nothing of this to my mother, yes?”

“Yes, my lady.”

No one comments on your troubled look while they bathed and dressed you. They knew better than to poke at the dragon; especially one that was upset.

You’re dressed in a white dainty dress you’d gotten as a gift from Aegon (though you suspected he had other intentions when he gifted it to you). You’re left sitting prettily over soft comforters and cushions, skin still smelling like rich oils and softer than a fox's fur.

“That will be all, thank you.” You bid your ladies good night and see them out just as your sworn shield takes his place in front of your chambers.

༺ ──────────── ༻

Sleep does not come as quickly as you had hoped. You’ve lost count of the hour, too entranced by the crackling firewood and waves hitting the cliffs. The candles have long died out and the moonlight took its place as your source of lighting.

You were tempted to escape to Helaena’s room using the secret tunnels but your sister could either be with Aegon or asleep. Your mother was out of question as she would chastise you about how unbecoming it is of a lady to be sneaking around during the hour of the owl.

(You’d never hear the end of it you’re afraid.)

As you roll over onto your stomach your breath hitches when the soft material glides against your swollen cunt. You quietly hiss and rub your thighs to ease the tension but it only worsens. Your clit pulses wildly, simmering heat boiling in your belly.

“Fuck.” You mutter rolling onto your back with your knees knocked apart, Jacaerys had really done a number on you.

You swallowed harshly thinking about his thick fingers and how your pussy was stretched to the brim. Your cunt flutters as you gasp softly, gods how you wanted to finish what he started earlier in the council room.

Would he lay you down tenderly and fuck you sweet or would he have you like one of those women from the streets of silk? Like a whore bent over and mounted like a bitch where he’d fuck years of hate and anger into you. Anger for what you had done and said about him and his brothers.

The thought does not bother you in the slightest, rather you’re aroused. You don’t have to pretend; all you have to do is let go..

You set your pride aside and slip into slippers sneaking into the secret tunnels. You walk with haste recalling where every room was after Aegon first showed you and Aemond the tunnels. You stand before his door waiting anxiously after giving three hard knocks.

The tunnel floods with light and Jacaerys stands over you, his own body casting a shadow. You stare up at him with parted lips and a dreamy glaze in your eyes. He doesn’t hesitate to bring you closer until your cheek is pressed against his chest.

“Jace,” your voice is nothing more than a whisper yet the grip you have on his robes says otherwise.

He hauls you into his arms leaving you no time to gasp before he’s pinning you onto the silken sheets. He stares down at you intensely, his grip around your wrists tight and secure. Both arms encase you on either side of your head leaving you to marvel up at the Strong Velaryon boy.

Jacaerys says nothing when he tugs his own tunic and robes off with one hand. Each article of clothing falls one by one onto the ground, the bed creaking in protest under his weight as he comes to kneel over you once again.

Throughout this whole ordeal you’ve held intense eye-contact with him, a challenge you most certainly welcomed as he still possessed those flames of desire and anger from before. With a clenched jaw he brings both your wrists to one hand and reaches below with his free to grasp his hard cock.

You can’t help but look, having to bite down on your tongue to hold in the whine that threatened to escape. The weeping head dripped pearly white seed over your soft mound from where he stroked himself. The pulsing heat between your thighs quickly becoming unbearable.

He lowers his hips until his pelvis is smushed into yours, his hard dripping cock trapped between the two of you pressed into your inner thigh. The contact is scalding with the way it throbs, how you yearn for him to take it and fuck you silly with it.

“Jacaerys,” you quietly choke, voice raspy and thick with want & need.

“This will hurt.” He carefully gauges your reaction for any discomfort or hesitance.

“Show me then, my lord Strong. Claim me as you would if I were yours, your ‘plain’ appearance is not of importance to me sweet nephew,” you purr sweetly, “we share blood of the dragon, you and I..”

You decide he needs one last push.

“Imagine a babe just like us…he wouldn’t look like a bastard, no,” his nose flares and grip tightens, “but everyone will know when they see his strong curls—”

A cry spills from your lips as Jacaerys slams his cock into you, buried to the hilt where his soft balls meet your pert cheeks. The pain burns but it’s laced with pleasure in a bittersweet way, still you can’t help the soft hisses that slip through clenched teeth each time he shifts around.

You struggle to house all of him inside, what he lacks in length he makes up for in girth; fat and thick with swollen pussy lips stretched around him wrapped tight and snug. To your utter surprise however, he’s not upset at your small jab—he looks as if he were actually picturing a child with you.

“And yet you still lie beneath me, speared on a bastard’s cock,” he grunts.

Jacaerys rolls his hips, not giving you any time to adjust, “You’ll bear my children fearing they won’t come out like their father—brown hair,” thrust, “brown eyes,” thrust, “every bit of me.” He whispers low and menacing in your ear, his speed relentless and punishing.

The stinging pleasure worsens and your eyes water, it’s a sort of bone deep pleasure balanced out by the pain that was beginning to dull. You were powerless under the Velaryon Prince as you could only helplessly toss your head back from the sweet pain.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? To have my bastards?” He licks his lips and switches his pace to a more smoother one, still jabbing nonetheless but albeit more calmer.

You grit your teeth in refusal to answer, but he didn’t need your answer as he descended upon your lips hungrily and fucked into you faster. Your moans get swallowed up by both him and the slick accompanying his wet thrusts causing you to burn with embarrassment over your filthy coupling.

Your traitorous gaze drops downwards again, the sight leaving you in breathless awe. He has specks of blood smeared against his skin, his cock faring no better as it’s covered in creamy pink. You experimentally squeeze around him just to watch his mouth drop open in a small ‘o’ shuddering through the pleasure.

“Again,” he groans softly, “fuck, more.” He gasps while desperately grinding into you.

You wrap your shaking thighs around his waist and tug him closer until he’s trapped against you unable to pull out. He huffs and kisses your sweaty skin, his hips tilting to bump and grind into that sensitive spot from before.

“Oh Jacaerys,” your back arches and toes curl.

Throaty little moans spill from his lips over each rhythmic squeeze around his swollen cock. He fucks into that soft sticky heat just listening to the filthy wet sounds your cunt makes. He enjoys the soft thwacks of his balls slapping against your taint, splattering creamy slick over the sheets.

“Oh,” you shudder, peak hitting harder than ever

You feel the warmth and utter bliss/satisfaction when you come down from your high. Dollops of wet slick spill from the sides of your stuffed pussy, a phantom pulsing sensation most likely from the aftermath of your orgasm.

“Fuck, I’m gonna–” He bites back his needy moan, pressing deeply to ensure every drop gets buried in your cunt. It seemed like you were going to pay a visit to the maestar soon for moon tea.

However you were far more concerned about your ability to walk, you could barely even feel the space between your legs much less your cunt and knees.

༺ ──────────── ༻

Peace never really lasts long in the Red Keep, not with the never ending feud between both your families.

From what you heard, shortly after Jacaerys left you the first time he joined dinner again only to find himself punching Aemond while Aegon slammed Lucerys into his plate. Aemond had done it again with his taunts over your nephew’s legitimacy.

Rhaenyra was leaving again after those years gone, which meant Jacaerys would be gone too. You hadn’t voiced your displeasure nor let it show when the boys were seen off to their dragons at the pit. You hid by a column, peeking out watching them saddle up for their journey home.

Jacaerys doesn’t notice you at first but when he does he stops and his gaze softens with pity. “Aunt.” He greets striding over with his arms behind his back.

“Jacaerys.” You greet quietly, refusing to meet his eyes in a stubborn act of defiance.

He tilts your chin up gently and forces you to look, “This doesn’t have to be the end you know,” he brushes a stray hair from your face, “unless you want to stop?”

“I don’t,” you find yourself snapping quicker than he can finish which makes him smile, “you know I don’t. I just don’t see how it’s possible to continue..this, if you’re so far away on Dragonstone.” You mumble and cup his cheek.

Jacaerys leans into your touch with a hum, “I’m a dragon ride away my love,” your cheeks burn at the endearment, “I’ll send ravens if I have to—you don’t need to worry about a single thing.”

You gently peck his lips and sigh, “..If you don't write to me, I will..” You trail in high valyrian whilst squeezing his hand until it pops threateningly. He laughs low and brings your hand up to kiss, instantly quelling your temper.

“I swear it,” he replies, kissing your knuckles once more despite Luke calling out to him in the background, his dragon calling out for him.

You allow a soft smile as you whisper ‘go’, no doubt your mother would be looking for you as well. You watch him leave your side once again only this time you knew he’d be returning sometime soon as the king neared the hour of death.

No one knew of your little letters you exchanged with Jacaerys over the course of weeks. He would send you flowers and other things he’d find around Dragonstone while you sent perfumed handkerchiefs or oil scented letters.

You knew he particularly loved when the paper smelled like you. (You’d be rewarded with vulgar responses.)

‘My beloved, everything reminds me of you and how you might enjoy this if you were here. I’d give anything to have you here by my side dressed in Targaryen colors. I personally think red suits you best my love, don’t you think? I’ll have a dress tailored to fit in all the right places, perhaps we can arrange a slit for easy access? You’d enjoy that wouldn’t you?’

If your mother noticed your odd behavior, she didn’t comment. Alicent knew very well what a lovestruck girl looked like as she had been one herself not too long ago. No one comments on the frequent visits to the dragon pit where you’d disappear for hours on end returning once the moon had risen.

The illusion shatters however when Viserys dies.

Right away your mother and grandsire crown Aegon as king. You should feel indifferent about the throne but you can’t help the ugly feeling you get upon seeing Aegon the conqueror's crown over your brother’s head. He was no king. He was not made to be king.

War was coming. With Aegon usurping Rhaenyra, as if that wasn’t enough, Aemond goes and fucking kills your nephew in some petty child’s game.

You heard the boy sunk into the waters after Vhagar mauled his tinier dragon. When you were flying over you heard Vermax’s loud cries of anguish, no doubt feeling his riders emotions as Jacaerys mourned Lucerys.

Your own dragon cried out in return as you swiftly landed and hopped off, stumbling through the sand as Jacaerys quickened his pace. You meet each other halfway with him falling into your arms, brokenly sobbing.

His loud cries are drowned out by the harsh waves hitting shore and seagulls flying around. At that very moment it’s only you and him standing on that beach wrapped up in each other’s arms. You press a series of kisses against his temple, tightening your hold when you feel him tremble.

“Shh.. sh, my love. I’m here.” You murmur soothingly.

Jacaerys swallows harshly, “He…he killed him,” he croaks out, “he’s gone.” It physically hurts seeing him unable to speak, just choking up over his words like a little boy crying for his mother.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

You hold him until he grows tired of sobbing, resorting to softer sniffles as he cowers in your hold. Jacaerys has a death grip around your waist where his fingers dig into you unknowingly. “I can’t lose you.” He mutters.

You will never forget the haunting look in his eye. Jacaerys had already lost his brother, he would not be losing you either..

༺ ──────────── ༻

..A son for a son they said after the ratcatchers beheaded Jaehaerys in his sleep.

You were up for days unable to process the grief and horror, moreso you felt for Helaena (beautiful Helaena who hadn’t deserved any of this). The way your mother had allowed the death of a child—her own blood—to be handled was despicable.

You saw Otto Hightower for what he was: a power hungry cunt. Your own brothers were strangers to you, Aemond having killed his own nephew in cold blood and Aegon a bloodthirsty idiot who didn’t know what he was doing.

You understand why Viserys favored Rhaenyra now.

“He’s a fool, mother was right to tell him he would be more useful doing nothing,” you sharply reply.

You’re in Jacaerys’ room after a sneaky endeavor in his bed all afternoon, complaining about your stupid brothers. Your lover lays on his side with a hand supporting his head listening attentively with a loving gaze.

“What was it you said that he told Aemond—I can have to make a war?” Jacaerys snorts in amusement brushing his fingers through your hair.

“He’s an idiot. It’s a wonder anyone can actually stand being in the same room as him, if he’s not crying about Aemond making plans behind his back then he’s crying that no one respects him.” You shake your head.

“Hm, my mother still thinks we can avoid war,” he sighs deeply, “if only it were easy, right?” He slides your hand in his, holding it tightly while stroking over your knuckles with his thumb.

You can’t help but squeeze back, “Patience my love, everyone already sees how incompetent Aegon is. He’s already the usurper in their eyes and nobody really listens to him so to speak.”

“Suppose you're right about a few things.” Jacaerys’ gaze drops to your plush lips, still swollen and bitten-raw from his punishing little nips and aggressive kissing.

Your stomach swoops with excitement as a playful grin forms over your lips, “Only a few things?” You lean down to whisper, lips inches away from his.

He smiles lazily and cups your cheeks, “Of course not you know I trust your judgment, my love.” He mumbles soothingly while brushing over your loose curls.

He looks beautiful like this—the sheets hung low around his bare hips and the love bites littered across his shoulders and neck. You’d like to stay forever like this with him, all tangled up and the only sounds being your soft voices and the waves hitting the cliffs by his open window.

“Do you? Or is my prince only saying that because he desires a kiss?”

It’s comical the way Jacaerys lights up like a child faced with a fresh batch of lemon cakes. He eagerly slots his lips over yours and draws your naked body closer to him until his stirring cock is pressed flush against your hip—still coated in wet slick and oils from earlier.

You reach with one hand to tangle it through his soft curls, yanking his head back, “That isn’t an answer my love; does my prince want a kiss or not?” You ask firmer this time.

His eyes hollow darkly as he licks his lips, “May I? Your prince desires it.” He whispers low and breathy. When he says it like that you simply can’t deny as you eagerly press into him.

Jacaerys wraps his arms around your back and hauls you under him pinning you down against the soft sheets. You moan into his mouth reaching below to grasp his heavy cock in your soft palm and squeezing the head.

“Seems he desires more than a kiss,” you husk, tugging at his cock and enjoying the way he chases your touch.

“I want to claim every inch of you until you’re filled with my cum, maybe this time you will catch,” He finishes with a growl in high valyrian.

His cock slides between your sticky folds bumping and slipping against your clit. You angle the tip downward until it catches against your rim with a hitch, “Jace,” you sigh.

You feel every inch until he’s fed your cunt his cock. The stretch is mouthwateringly good, you don’t think you’ll ever find anyone else who could come this close to pleasuring as Jacaerys did. He wastes no time in rocking into you with long forceful thrusts.

“Oh fuck,” you thread your fingers through his hair turning your head away.

Jacaerys messily mouths along your neck and shoulder with muffled groans while desperately covering every inch of your skin with his mouth. You catch him off guard when you wrap your limbs around him and roll the two of you over.

“Lie back my love,” you seductively whisper.

He watches, entranced as you set your hands over his bare chest and push. The delicious weight combined with the heavenly warmth around his cock has his head rearing back and a long moan escaping.

You bite down on your lip taking in his every reaction. From this angle he strikes deep leaving you with a pleasant ache you’d be feeling the coming days. “Oh fuck.” You gasp, hips stuttering in their movements.

Jacaerys gets his hands over your hips and tugs you back down over his lap causing a groan to bubble out of your throat. He uses his newfound grip to bounce you in his lap until a low fopping sound from his thighs smacking into your cheeks fills the room.

Your gasps come out in short stuttered breaths with the occasional ‘mm’ thrown in there. Mid-roll you manage to firmly plant yourself in his lap trapping his fat cock in your wet cunt. You feel it twitching inside, desperate for another release.

Soft ‘ah, ah, ah’s fill the room alongside the sounds of sheets shuffling and seagulls in the distance. You’re lost in the moment basking in sunny rays and hot bubbling pleasure. His grip not once loosening nor slipping.

“Seven hells, you’re going to be the death of me.” He breathlessly groans.

His cock pulses faintly and then you’re being filled with thick spurts of white. He lazily squeezes your soft cheeks, watching with a blissed out expression. While you had yet to reach your own peak, you also didn’t mind just this.

Your hips came to a stop and you found yourself laying over his chest staring out at the orange-pink sky as you mumble, “I love you.”

༺ ──────────── ༻

Helaena hasn’t spoken much about your nephew since the funeral. She says she’s fine but you doubt that’s any true, you supposed she grieved differently. Helaena has always been a special case (in a positive light).

“Aegon left to battle,” you find yourself saying after an hour of silence, “Aemond too.”

Helaena can offer no insight as she kneels before her caged insects, speaking in soft whispers like she usually did, only this time her tone accompanied by her soft hums.

“How is Jaehaera?”

“..Fine.” More humming.

“And what have you embroidered as of lately–”

“You can go,” she softly interrupts, “everything is fine.” You’re stunned, maybe you overstepped and she wasn’t in need of visitors. That was fine, Helaena’s doing fine—

Your sister reaches over to grasp your hands tightly, staring into your eyes, “Everything will be fine. You must leave or else it will be too late,” a pained smile forms over her lips, “you will be one soon, and then two.”

“..what about you?” Your eyes watered, you dread the thought of leaving her here to suffer alone at the hands of Aegon.

Helaena lays a sweet kiss over your head, “There’s a storm coming, it makes flying harder.”

You wipe your tears and shakily nod, embracing her one last time before rushing through the hidden tunnels to your room. In a satchel you threw a few items of importance along with jewelry you doubt you’d need but something in your gut told you otherwise.

It’s easy to slip unnoticed through the tunnels and keep, the city proves much harder. You manage to pass through the small folk using alleys and hidden paths until you’re outside of the dragon pit. None of the dragon keepers question you and simply bring out Melaxes.

She senses your anxiety and begins to whine, “Shh, lykirī.” You’re quick to soothe her by leaning your forehead against her side.

When she calms down you guide her out of the pit, “Soves,” you murmur and Melaxes roars into the sky disappearing into the thick clouds.

You will be one soon, and then two.

Realization dawns: you haven’t bled for two moons now. Your hand immediately comes up to cover the swell of your stomach. Of course, what were you expecting?

You didn’t drink fucking moon tea and Jacaerys never cared to pull off. Your throat tightens up and tears spring to your eyes, “No,” you claw at your collar heaving.

Rook’s Rest. Rook’s Rest. Rook’s Rest. Your eyes widened—Larys Strong had heard talks of Princess Rhaenys and Prince Jacaerys going to battle together..

“Naejot!” You plunge forward until Melaxes zips above the sea, you pray to whatever god listening that Jacaerys is there safe and sound waiting for you.

You leave her not too far from the castle as you run up the hill towards the one place you knew he’d have to be. It’s a miracle no one notices Alicent Hightower’s youngest daughter storming through the halls until you reach Rhaenyra’s council room.

No one’s there.

“Oh fuck..” You whisper with a hand over your stomach, “No, no, no, no.” (There’s a loud ringing in your ear and it won’t stop.)

The tears come before you can even stop them as your vision quickly blurs. There’s something in your throat but it won’t come out no matter how much you heave and gag on your saliva.

“Mmn,” you whimper in discomfort and pain while curling away, refusing to believe Jacaerys was gone. You want your mother.

Your arm shakily shoots out to grab onto the stone for balance, “..please,” it comes out as a wheeze.

“y/n?” Was this a cruel dream? Jacaerys frowns and immediately starts walking to your side, “What’s wrong?”

He’s met with your lips and a tight crushing grip when you bury your fingers through his hair. You fiercely smother him in a desperate kiss which draws out a hiss from him when you bite his bottom lip.

“..We have to leave,” you mumble.

“Leave?” He frowns, “What do you mean?”

“Jacaerys, please trust me—we need to go,” you desperately plead.

Jacaerys shakes his head, “y/n you’re not making sense right now, leave where? And what of my mother? What of Baela, Rhaena, Joffrey? What of my duty as heir to the throne? You say it as if it’s so simple.”

“It doesn’t matter—”

“Why won’t you just tell me?!” He slams his hand over the table.

“I’m expecting a child,” you choke up, “and I don’t want my baby to die, Jacaerys. I want our baby to live.” You cry softly.

Jacaerys goes eerily still, silently watching you weep all you’ve held in until now. His eyes cast downward over the Targaryen pin on his tunic, glistening under the light shining proudly as a reminder of where he came from.

He says nothing and reaches up to unpin the dragon sigil resting over his shoulder. He reaches over to silently do the same with your own before neatly placing both over the table, releasing his sharp breath.

There’s no other way around this regardless if you stayed or not your child was in danger simply by living and breathing. The Greens would come after you, maybe Aemond would be the one to kill you or perhaps even Daemon. Your child would be dead either way as the king made it obvious how he felt about bastard children.

Jacaerys turns to you with a gentle but pained smile, and in that moment you knew what he chose. Your lip curls sadly and with an outstretched hand you accept him. He squeezes tightly like he’s afraid you’ll vanish into thin air.

“I love you.” He whispers, pressing his forehead to yours, his hand manages to sneak between the two of you to press into your stomach where your child would soon grow.

Neither one of you says anything while Jacaerys packs what he plans to take. He writes to Rhaenyra and leaves the letter in plain sight over his desk. It’s quiet but comforting as he leads you to Melaxes and Vermax.

When she finds the letter Rhaenyra weeps. She can’t find it in her to be upset with him and while yes you had been another insolent brat as a child; you were still her half-sister who was now carrying her grandchild.

“If we fly out now we might catch up to them.” Daemon seethes as he paces back and forth before the queen, “This is just absurd, has the boy officially gone mad? A Hightower cunt no less.” He scoffs.

“Leave them, they’ve made their choice and we will make ours.” Rhaenyra shoots a pointed look at anyone who dares protest. She knows she’s vulnerable now that she’s lost two heirs.

..and if she hears the small folk speaking of two dragon riders traveling across the narrow sea, months later after reclaiming Kings Landing; she turns a blind eye and prays.

+ translations:

dohaerās (serve)

daor (no)

lykirī (be calm)

soves (fly)

naejot (forward)

#hotd x reader #hotd fanfic #jacaerys velaryon #jacaerys x reader #hotd jacaerys #jacaerys smut #hotd smut #house of the dragon

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yurunivo · 8 months ago

Text

Synopsis: continuation of this idea (and also subtracting and adding a few of my own) part 2 part 3 part 4

TW: yandere behavior, cult ish behavior, mentions of blood, injuries, torture, SAGAU, inaccurate personalities, bad grammar, english is not my first language, very short

Characters: Natlan cast x Creator!gn!reader (slight yandere Archons too)

You hated this.

All you were doing was playing genshin and then you suddenly got sucked into the game! At first, it was a dream come true, but now you wanted to be out of here as fast as possible. All this suffering just because you looked like someone?

Mondstadt was a no no. The acting grand master found out so quickly, and the knights of favonious were on your tail. Liyue was also a no, the millelith and adepti was also there. Heck, Zhongli came out of retirement just to catch you! Inazuma? Raiden was enough. Fontaine wasn't any better either. You got put on trial, it's only because of plot armour that you managed to survive.

Sumeru was a bit better. The dendro archon found out about your status quickly, due to Irminsul. But, her people were out of her control, so you got hunted down anyway.

The abyss was even worse. Once they sensed that the creator came back, they were ecstatic to kill you. The abyss weren't known for their fondness of the gods after all. Right now, with the amount of times you fought the abyss and the people of teyvat, your entire body was like a piece of paper ready to be blown away.

You were walking to Natlan, as fast as your legs would take you. Your arm was filled with abyssal energy, and you had open wounds all over you. The sand got into your injuries, which really stung. It was hell trying to walk, but the tiny sliver of hope that Natlan would be different would be enough to keep you going. Usually, your wounds healed instantly every time you were injured, but the attacks from the abyss slowed down your healing. You would show your golden blood, but the injuries healed too fast and the people would be too consumed by anger to even notice your golden blood.

How long has it been since the chase started? Like one or two years? You couldn't really tell. Your mind was foggy, and your body was trembling and shivering. Just the thought that you'll eventually heal and get hunted down again, without anyone knowing about what was truly going on was enough to consider dying. You coughed your way through to Natlan, and as the sandy desert came to a halt for the beginning of Natlan, you could only hope that Natlan would be different.

It wasn't long till you passed out, but you got a tiny glimpse of a Saurian watching you...

Your head hurt, everything did. You woke up to your injuries healed, as you thought what happened. Your body probably managed to heal itself, so that was already explained. What was not so good and definitely needed explaining was that the environment you were in was certainly different, even if you remember not seeing much.

You saw a little girl coming towards you. She looked familiar, but you began to panic. Were you really going to get hunted this time too? If that was the case then dying seemed like a better option than anything.

"Are you okay?! You really looked like you weren't going to survive!" Huh? Why wasn't she attacking you? Was this really a dream? Thank god! You felt like crying at the kindness you were shown after so long!

The girl introduced herself as Kachina. You thought that's why she looked familiar. Perhaps you were not thinking straight from the suffering that you were inflicted on. You introduced yourself too, but you used (fake name) instead of who you really were.

"What happened? You looked so pale and your entire arm was covered with abyssal energy! Did you get attacked on your way here?" She asked so innocently, which made you realize that you had to create a fake story, and fast. You contemplated for a moment, creating a fake story within seconds was hard, but the sheer thought of being hunted again left a bad image on your brain.

"Ah well, I was a runaway from my home in Sumeru. I encountered some enemies and that's what happened to my arm. Is there any place in Natlan where I can get a job and a cheap house and a job? I don't have any Mora on me," you lied through your teeth. You had Mora from the treasure chests you saw in the wild, but it would be weird that a runaway who left everything behind has Mora on them. You felt bad lying to Kachina. But, for your survival, everything was necessary. She seemed to believe you, so you internally sighed in exhaustion. Children were so naive.

She felt so sorry for you, even though your story was fake. She took a cherry flavoured candy from her large bag and gave it to you. Finally, tears started to slip through your eyes. It's truly been so long since you had seen kindness being shown to you. A tear fell from your eyes as you cried. Kachina began to panic, but realized that it was best to stay quiet. You sobbed and sniffled as Kachina continued to comfort you. You again passed out from crying so much.

"There is a bar nearby that you can work in! And for the place to stay in, they have a space above the bar where you can be at!" You walked together as she continued talking. She was nice to talk too, and didn't really pressure you and ask any more questions which might have made you uncomfortable. You changed your clothes too, wearing gloves to hide your injuries from the abyss. You looked at the bar she led you to and thanked her profusely. She was so kind, certainly a gift from the gods!

You got the job and a place to stay. All you had was cleaning duty, and, compared to the injuries and (sometimes) vomiting you had to deal with by yourself, this was a piece of cake. You just cleaned the counters, the glasses and the floor and also throw out the rowdy people in the bar. The room you live in now was cramped, but it was at least better than having to sleep in defeated hillichurl camps with no protection whatsoever.

After getting a stable income, you started giving Kachina a lot of gifts. After all, she helped you so much when you literally had no will to live. She always tried declining them, but you always insisted, saying that she deserved it. She really did though, you needed to pay back her kindness from the beginning anyway. You also started visiting her much often, exploring or just talking with her.

You do meet her friends eventually enough.

"(Fake name)! These are my friends, Kinich and Mualani! I hope you get along with them well!" You were shaking, what if they weren't as kind as Kachina? What if they find out? What if, what if-

But, they were much more easy going than what you expected. Mualani was very cheerful, and Kinich was also very kind! Something was weird though. Ajaw was much quieter than usual. Sure, he still had those narcissistic comments, but it was like he toned down on them a bit. That was very confusing, but if the others didn't notice then you didn't need to bother.

You sometimes visit Mualani in the hot springs, just keeping your arms out of the water for the abyssal energy not to spread. You also sometimes visit Kinich in the Scions of Canopy. He does his extreme sports like bungee jumping, you just watch. Again, it was really unnerving on how much quieter Ajaw was..

But, this happiness wouldn't really last for long.

You were cleaning in your bar, secretly listening into some drama in one of the tables. A woman came into the bar. She was clad in a dark cloak, so you couldn't really see her. But, upon taking a closer look, you realized it was... Mavuika?!

You were sweating like your life depended on it. How did she even figure out that you worked here? Did you have to move again, when you we're just getting settled? Was this perfectly calm life just going to stay for false hope? Seriously, you were scared. You went to go clean another station instead of your own, but not until she managed to give you a message.

"I've been meaning to meet you for a long time, how about we just talk outside later?" She smiled warmly, but you just felt a chill down your spine. You were terrified. But, considering how powerless you were, you agreed. You never know what she might do after all.

Your shift was done, and you gulped as you walked outside. Mavuika was there, waiting for you. She waved, and you nervously waved back. You looked down at yourself. Your hands were trembling, and your entire body was shaking. The sweaty feeling in your palms never went away, it was uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as having to talk with an archon.

"I already know that you are our creator, please rest assured," huh?! She already knew? But how? You never revealed your identity,what was going on?! But, all you did was nod your head, still nervous on what she could do.

"I've heard of the chase that you have been through in other nations, but please be assured that I will not do the same. I will protect you from the other nations, and you can continue living your life as it is. I will do my best to help you lead a normal life," you were shocked. Absolutely shocked. Since when did an archon treat you so nicely?

Venti chased you with his bow and arrow, and you got nearly got sucked into the black hole that he had in his burst. Moral was leading the adepti and Liyue Qixing to find and hunt you. You just completely avoided Inazuma. It would be terrible that the Shogun would find you, since she's not as "nice" as Ei. You thought you could start a new in Fontaine, but you got put on to a death sentence by the Oratrice. At least Neuvillette had some kind of pity for you. The eremites, grand bazaar and the scholars of Sumeru were also in the hunt. You started reflecting on how much suffering you had to deal with, as tears welled up in your eyes again. You went to hug Mavuika and just sobbed in her shoulder. She looked surprised but didn't question it as you cried. She patted your back over and over again, letting you cry all your frustrations out.

Of course, it's not like people won't find out eventually.

Kinich was the first to find out. He offered you to bungee jump with him, and you stupidly agreed.

"It won't be that bad, I promise," oh how you shouldn't have believed him. You were screaming the entire time that he held you. Ajaw was fuming at Kinich, which, again, was very weird. He never cared for anyone before, so what was going on?

Though he was holding onto you, it didn't really stop you from getting injuries by nature itself. You had a cut on your cheek, as blood began to seep out. You landed, and it was only when Kinich was recovering from the adrenaline rush, did he notice your cut. He was speechless. He was just staring as you realized the cut you had on your skin. Your eyes widened at the revelation.

"W-wait, I-I can explain!" You didn't even know what you were panicking for. Wasn't it a good thing that they found out? If so, then why did it feel like your heart has been shattered into a million pieces when he found out? Ajaw then screamed at Kinich, like he was reprimanding him.

"You filthy servant! How can you not realize that the creator was with us all this time?! Honestly, what went on in your head when you took them in such a dangerous activity?!" He spewed out to Kinich, while the boy was still in a state of shock. Finally, as if he got to his senses, he muttered out:

"You're the creator?..." He mumbled under his breath. He looked extremely shocked, and also extremely guilty. He ran out of words so quickly. This is how he treated his creator the whole time?

He was about to apologize, but you interrupted him. There was no way that you would let him even say sorry, not when you want to live your life as a human instead of some divine being.

"If you want a more detailed explanation for this... predicament, meet me at the outskirts of the Children of echoes, you'll get all your answers there."

Mualani was second to find out. You two were walking through her tribe, talking about getting swimsuits for the hot spring. The area was very humid, and the floor was very slippery.

Suddenly, you tripped on your steps and fell on the ground. A scratch was on your knee, as you realised that the blood would show. You tried to hide the injury from Mualani, but she took a glance anyway. Her expression was very surprised, but all she did was wrap a piece of cloth around your knee. It really stung, but you really hoped she wouldn't ask any questions about it.

She took you to a secluded area with no people. Just you and her. She was staring for a long time, and you gulped in nervousness. You were enjoying your life without being chased or worshipped, why did this peace have to end now?!

"Well, (fake name), actually it might not even be your real name.. But anyway, I know it might make you uncomfortable, but please explained what happened a bit ago," she asked and all you did was mumble an incoherent sentence with a bitter tone.

Kachina was last to find out. You were exploring some ruins that you found along with her.

It was just supposed to be a little expedition outside in Natlan, but you got way too many cuts from the rocks inside. It didn't really hurt, so you brushed it off, forgetting that Kachina didn't know you were the creator. When she lit up a fire to check in on everything, that's when you realised this. You tried to stay out of the light as much as possible, but she found out very easily.

"What's wrong (fake name)? Why aren't you coming near the fire?" She innocently asked. You cursed at your self for not realizing that she didn't know sooner. But before you could respond, she dragged your wrist into the light in an attempt to see if you had any injuries or not. When she saw the golden blood however, she turned quiet.

"Y-you're the creator?" She asked, almost terrified. Oh what had she done! Treating the holy creator so casually like a friend! You only looked down at her, feeling guilty at putting so much terror to her mind. You patted her head, unsure of how to respond to her.

"Yes I am, but I am your friend still, am I not?"

Spies can exist anywhere and everywhere. After all, it's such a common phrase in Liyue, the walls have ears.

However, the spies that were there to find you and excecute you, were certainly incompetent in their job, letting their emotions get in the way of things.

Seeing the golden blood for their own eyes, the blood of the "imposter" that they were hunting down, was not really easy to swallow. Instead of kidnapping you, they just took a picture with their kamera and ran like the wind, doing anything to inform their leader.

When the Archons found out, they were nothing less than shocked. They have been hunting their creator the entire time? No, this couldn't be! They trembles at the photo in hand, realising how bad they fucked up. Now they were more determined to find you than ever, not to kill you, but to welcome you into their arms. They will get you back, no matter what it takes. Oh and the actual imposter? They're as dead as they can be. Nothing matters except you now.

Nothing else matters.

This is so short Lmaooo hope you like it tho!

#reader insert #genshin impact #genshin x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #yandere sagau #yandere #sagau x reader #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #sagau #sagau impostor au

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seijorhi · 3 months ago

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Gorge

Monster Geto Suguru x female reader

tw: blood and gore, hard vore (not reader), implied non con, mentions of breeding, yandere-ish as always

Fairy & Rhi’s Big Bad Valentines Event ~ Here there be monsters

Days of silence, waiting, calling fruitlessly into the vast nothing that surrounds you, and the sudden crackle on the other end of the radio sends your heart leaping to your throat.

“Mayday, mayday, this is the S.S. Sarugami, requesting emergency assistance. I repeat, this is S.S. Sarugami, requesting emergency assistance, we’ve taken heavy damage with multiple fatalities, requesting emergency assistance, do you read me?”

Please.

You don’t so much as breathe, fingers poised over the transponder as you wait. They might not pick up the signal, they might not care enough to stop and help. It could be pirates, unfriendlies. Scavengers or reavers. You’d close your eyes and pray if it hadn’t been made perfectly clear that any higher power turned their back to your plight a long, long time ago.

“Don’t you feel the teeniest bit of guilt?” a smooth purr snakes through your head.

You don’t bother hiding the shiver that trickles down your spine like ice. “No,” you snip. It’s somewhere between a truth and a lie. You don’t relish what you’ll be unleashing on them if they arrive to offer the aid you begged for, but if it gets you out of here, away from him–

Self preservation will always win out.

You’re not a bad person for this. They wouldn’t come if they knew. They wouldn’t help you.

“No?” Amused. Always fucking amused. You bite your tongue so hard you taste blood. The near soundless shudder, breathy and excited, that reverberates through the cabin wrenches at you like a knife.

Seconds crawl past, and then–

“Copy, Sarugami, this is the Admiral Fleet, I.C. Justice Prime. Report.” A flare of panic sparks at the identification, the brash, no-nonsense tone at the other end of the transponder. The Admiral Fleet isn’t your first choice here, they’re assholes of the highest order, bound by the code and, some might say, a little too eager to sniff out violations and injustices they can throw the book at.

If one of them escapes, if they report you–

“You think I’d leave one alive? My, such little faith in me, I thought we’d dispelled such notions.”

Ignoring It, you say to Justice Prime, “We were attacked by reavers four days past with heavy casualties. The Captain and his command are dead. The med-team is dead. Our core was disabled and stripped and our life support systems are running low. Requesting emergency assistance, please.”

More lies, sprinkled in truth. Reavers would’ve left by now. Reavers aren’t nearly as dangerous as the threat you’re luring them to. Your hands tremble, heart trilling like a hummingbird and sweat beads at your temple. From the corner of your eye, you spy a flash of dark hair and pale skin, an all too familiar aroma of thick, smoky incense washing over you.

Lie, lie, lie.

You squeeze your eyes close and breathe deep, fighting the urge not to flinch when something too cold, too soft, too formless to pass for human pets at your cheek. Like you’re a pet. A pretty doll. “I think I like this side of you. Vicious, bloodthirsty little mate,” It croons.

“… Copy, Sarugami. We’ll send a boarding party to assess the situation and advise next steps.”

No promises of help, but you suppose that’s too much to expect from the likes of the Admiral Fleet. It doesn’t matter. Once the airlock opens, none of that will matter. “Copy.”

The moment your finger leaves the transponder, you swing into action. You shoulder the blaster (almost drained) and the backpack (stuffed with as many rations and water packs as you could carry) and bolt from the control board out onto the main deck. There’s no telltale hiss of slithering behind you, no artificial footfalls sounding at your heels. It’s following you, though. Even if you weren’t trying to escape, It never strays far, firm in the belief of Its possession.

Navigating through the ship isn’t as easy as you imagined, your pace unwieldy and slow with the extra weight on your back, but you can’t afford to stop or be seen. They’ll be suspicious when you aren’t there to greet them, but so long as they venture in – and don’t catch you slipping past behind them – it’ll be okay.

You just have to get past them before It starts eating or–

Well, that’s the only option. Get on the Prime and convince them to shut the airlock and leave.

“Such a lovely little mate, bringing me feast after feast. When you fail, will you finally accept that this is inevitable?”

The visage in the corner of your eyes flickers, pulsing, warping, too much of a substance in a container too small, and the tiny hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. You push forward, ducking out of sight, the back routes, the underbelly of the ship. Your breath comes in and ragged pants and your legs shake, more from the growing sense of dread twisting you up in knots than exertion.

“I’ll take the I.C Justice Prime,” It whispers in your head, far too sure of itself. “I’ll make a nest there to breed you in, keep you full and content. Such a good mate. Such a perfect, perfect monkey for me.”

Self-righteous assholes though the Admiral Fleet may be, you’re condemning them. Part of you knows it, even as It slips away from behind you, spilling from the tall, dark haired facade it adopts to soothe your nerves. Growing, black and slick, tendrils writhing, it slips through the grate like oil and forms itself on the other side.

“There’s other humans,” you hiss under your breath. “You can find another pet, I’m getting out of here.”

“None like you.”

The screams start before you resurface on deck. Your timing is off. There’s yelling and burst after burst of blaster fire, the sickening wrenching of limbs being ripped from bodies. Justice Prime sent seven soldiers and a single medic, and they’re being torn apart. Consumed in bloody chunks, still alive. Still screaming.

Run, you think, skittering to your feet when they slip through a puddle, warm blood coating your hands, up your wrists and forearms, your knees. It’s everywhere, horrible trails of it leaking across the floor. Run. Run. Run, and for fuck’s sake don’t look back.

“I shall have to reward you for this. Both my appetites sated, how you spoil me.”

Tears well in your eyes, shoulders shaking, heaving with the force of the sobs you choke back. The airlock is mere feet away – you’ve come too far to turn back. You cannot just submit to this, to It.

There’s a difference, though, between the crew of the S.S. Sarugami and the I.C. Justice Prime. Your crew were explorers, scientists. Your best friend was a botanist studying alien flora, her wife a cartographer. They were taken unawares. The Prime are soldiers, first and foremost. Comms suddenly cut out on a suspicious mayday call, and they don’t wait to see if it’s a jammed frequency or miscommunication.

When you stumble through the airlock, the muzzles of six blasters greets you.

“We have to go!” you cry out, throwing your blood slicked hands up in front of you to show you’re not a threat, begging them to just listen. “Please, we have to go now!”

You feel It before you see It, the cold chill at your back.

In one cruel sweep, It rips the blasters from their grips, sending them clattering uselessly to the wall. “I’m sorry,” you gasp, though it’s more a plea for forgiveness as you watch their eyes widen in terror, taking in the monstrous creature behind you. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t watch, sweet mate. I know how this sort of thing upsets you.”

But closing your eyes doesn’t stop the screams, or the warm, wet spray of blood that drips down through your hair from the toothy maw above.

#big bad valentines #yandere jjk #yandere geto x reader #yandere geto suguru x reader #read the tags idk what to tell you

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thisismyrandombloooog · 3 months ago

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Young Nat Scatorccio x Reader

Summary: you go over to Nats house after school and find yourselves so distracted neither of you notice her dad coming home

Tw: readers internalized homophobia, cursing, violent altercation, use of slurs, panic attack description(ish)

Wc: 1370 (edited version)

Part 1

It’s 96 degrees in New Jersey the day Natalie Scatorccios father accidentally kills himself.

It’s 96 degrees in New Jersey the day you and Nat start unofficially dating.

Sometimes you used to wonder if it was your fault somehow- the dying. But the day had no traces of sinister energy, only thick June heat that signified the beginning of summer and the end of Sophomore year. You hadn’t known Nat for very long. Tryouts for the Yellowjackets had been a week ago and, before that, she was just some girl in the hallway who listened to weird music and wore cool clothes. Now, she intimidated you, intrigued you, and confused you, just a little. But you hadn’t made many real friends since you moved last year and, well, you liked her. Enough that when she asked if you wanted to come over after the final day of school, you said yes.

You trail behind her through the dust of the trailer park, taking in your surroundings- a wilted plant, a waving neighbor, a sweltering blue sky. When you reach what you assumed to be her trailer, she stops short and turns abruptly. “Ok, we have to be super quiet,” she says nervously, glancing down towards some unknown point, “my mom is probably asleep and she wouldn’t… she doesn’t really like it when people come around,”

“That’s fine,” you say simply with a slight smile. She looks up grinning, though apprehension still lingers in her eyes. She nods and you climb the stairs together.

Nat lightly eases open the door. Sure enough, her mom is asleep on the couch, the glow of an old movie flickering on the small tv screen. Nat grabs your wrist as you slip down a narrow hallway towards her room. She quietly shuts the door and you hear her breath out a sigh of relief. She turns to you with a smile that makes your heart jump and crosses to the tape deck, rifling through cassettes. You definitely don’t have the same music taste, but you find yourself unable to care. It was too fascinating to see Natalie like this: smiling, relaxed, and putting on a tape in her room. You feel your heart begin to race.

“What,” Nat asks, looking over at you staring.

“Nothing,” you say back, quickly looking for something else to talk about. “I like your posters.”

“Thanks,” she says, flopping down onto her bed before grabbing your hand to pull you down next to her. “ Sooooo…. do you think we’ll make the team,” she asks, propping her hand on her chin, with an almost shit eating grin.

“I know you will,” you groan. “They need like 4 midfielders and you were so good, I missed like half of the goals.”

“Well then it’s a good thing Sweepers hardly ever have to score,” Natalie says. You roll your eyes but smile back at her.

“You know, I wouldn’t have taken you for a soccer player,” you say, sitting up to face her.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” she asks with a touch of sarcasm.

“I don’t know, you don’t seem like the type for organized school sports,” you say. When you first met Natalie, she seemed like she didn’t give two shits about anything, but as you got to know her she surprised you all the time. She played soccer, she cried at movies where the dogs died, and she was actually pretty smart.

“I’m not really. I guess I just like soccer.” She says it thoughtfully, as though she hadn’t figured it out herself and let her head fall back to the mattress. Her dark hair is splayed out around her face and her cheeks are flushed slightly from the heat.

Suddenly the room feels small.

“You’re staring,” she says, though she sounds more nervous than teasing.

“Am not,” you say, trying to laugh it off and looking down at your hands.

“Are too,” she argues back, like you’re toddlers again.

“Well you’re blushing,” you shoot back, your throat beginning to feel thick. Bees in your stomach and concrete in your esophagus suffocate you at the thought of this conversation.

“Well, it’s like a million degrees out, Y/n,” Nat mutters, licking her lips. Your eyes track the movement and she notices. Her gaze flickers back to yours and the air feels thick and buzzing. She’s watching you intently now. You should look away. You should say something. But you don’t.

Instead, Nat props her elbow underneath her, sitting back up. You can see her eyelashes clumping around her mascara and the way her breath disturbs the dark hairs farming her face, just a little

“I kinda want to kiss you,” Nat says quietly and quickly, avoiding eye contact.

Your heart stops all together.

“I’m, uh, well… I’m not.. uh I’m not gay,” you stutter.

“Okay,” Nat shrugs, as if that isn’t the point.

“Okay,” you echo. But you still find yourself leaning in, slowly, leaning in until your lips touch Nat’s soft, full ones.

You had kissed boys before. Hell, you had a boyfriend at your last school. But this was different. You were afraid to even think the word ‘better’, but somewhere in your subscious, you were screaming it. She was gentler: her nose was smaller, her skin was softer, and her hair tickled your cheek.

She pulls back a fraction, eyes flickering between yours, with anxiety. ”Was that okay,” she asks, voice softer than you’d ever heard it. You wish you could scream no. Tell her that you were in fact, not gay, and run out of the trailer. But you can’t. Because it was okay. It was more than okay.

So you nod, not trusting your voice. And she returns a shy smile.

She leans in, this time with more confidence, and your lips meet again. You remember something you mom used to say: once is an accident, twice is on purpose. This time it’s less tentative and more certain. You’re painfully aware of the way she pulls you closer. How her arm snakes up to cup your cheek. How she slowly relaxes her lips, opening her mouth more and more. How she pulls you down flat onto the bed…

The door slams open.

“Fuck,” Nat says and you can only register the panic in her eyes for a moment before she’s darting towards the distrubance. You hear the screaming before you see his face.

“Who the fuck is this Natalie,” he says, trying to move the girl out of the way. You realize he means you. ”Is she a fucking d*ke. Are you fucking d*ke Natalie.”

Your stomach drops. Shock begins to wave over your body, depriving you of your higher senses.

“Dad stop, it’s nothing, just stop” Nat screams, pulling him back before he can reach you. Your ears ring with the word ‘dad’.

“Do you think I’m fucking stupid,” he yells. You look over at Nat as she comes toward you in a blur.

She’s horrified, her breathing is erractice, and she seems to be on the verge of tears. She grabs your arm and pulls you up. “Just go,” she says, desperate and panicked.

Disoriented, you stumble to grab your bag and begin to run out the door. Out of the corner of your eye you Nats dad grab her arm abrasively and your heart jumps to your throat. You stop short and turn back to look at her. What would he do for this? You want to stop it, to do something, anything. Her cheeks are wet now. “Fucking go,” she says, sadness etched over every part of her features, and you run. You can hear her dad screaming all the way down the block. You wonder why her neighbors have never stopped him, but it occurs to you that maybe they’ve tried.

You sprint all the way home and the time you get there, sweat has soaked your clothes and you’re on the verge of passing out. Heat laps viciously at your skin and you grab at your chest, willing yourself to breathe. Your mind flashes with all the things that could be happening to Natalie and you’re hit with a wave of nausea.

You stumble inside, tears forming in your eyes, as you go to wash up before your parents arrive home.

#natalie scatorccio #yellowjackets season 3 #nat yellowjackets #natalie yellowjackets #natalie scatorccio x reader #nat x reader #natalie x reader #sophie thatcher #sophie thatcher x reader #young nat #young nat x reader #young natalie x reader #young natalie scatorccio x reader #wlw #lesbian #soccer lesbians #yellowjackets season 1 #yellowjackets season 2 #yellowjackets

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jujutsukgojo · 6 months ago

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The Baby Project: Chapter Six

Izuku Midoriya x reader

1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Summary: Noa is having trouble learning how to use the potty.

tw: pee (it's potty training), fluff, angst, inequality, panic attack(ish). I have decided to not include summer vacation. It was an accident

You are trying to finish this month’s report. Noa, now that he’s two, he is getting into everything. Luckily, Izuku seems to be a professional at handling that where you were only seconds away from finishing wrapping him in duct tape which Izuku had a fit about.

The two boys roll around on the floor. Izuku lifts Noa in the air by his feet. Noa’s arms reach to Izuku. Lately, you can't really face him after that whole dream thing. You even touch your lips when he looks into your eyes. Everything since then has been hazy. Almost as if the boundaries and walls between you have bent since he kissed you in his dream. Thinking about it now makes you tingly, even when he’s playing ‘airplane’ with Noa.

Noa’s lullaby rings when he yawns. “Come on Noa, let’s take a nap.”

Noa’s eyebrows furrow and his small mouth parts in shock. If his hands weren’t in Izuku’s, he’d clutch his chest, appalled by Papa’s ‘suggestion’.

“No!” Izuku lowers him. “Noa, it’s alright. We’ll play right-”

“No!” The toddler kicks his feet in protest. “Play!” He tries his hardest to climb on Izuku to do another airplane. Unfortunately for him, Papa isn’t having it.

While those two go at it, you sign your name at the top of the paper of your homework. Luckily, Izuku had already finished his homework so he decided to play with Noa as you try to catch up on yours. It’s been a struggle to juggle a toddler and school, especially since Snipe decided that the class was late in an academic sense. Secretly, the late ‘study sessions’ with the rest of your classmates take time too.

“Do I need to intervene?” You ask Izuku as he picks Noa up and places him on the couch. “No, I got it, right Noa?”

Noa continues to throw a fit, repeating how he’s a big boy and that he isn’t sleepy. He jumps down and attempts to run away until his eyes get droopy and are blinking slowly. “I’m not…no-” He yawns. Finally, he stops fighting and goes into Izuku’s awaiting arms. His papa scoops him up and sits on the couch. Following his little robo-son, Izuku yawns as well.

“Take a nap, Izuku. We’re not going anywhere.” Lately, he’s been comfortable sleeping around you.

“I’ll be fine.” He blinks rapidly, clearly trying to stay awake. Obviously, Noa is taking after Izuku in that area. You sigh and walk over to him with the unfinished book in your hand. “Here, if I read to you again, will you sleep?”

“That fairytale? I like that one,” He has a soft smile. His freckled cheeks and kind eyes make the obvious scar fade in comparison to his boyish look. “Mm, I love it, actually. Read it for me again?”

He can’t remember, right? You never looked into your quirk and only know its basics. What if he remembers?

You try to seem cool despite the possibility of him remembering you in his dream looming over your head. You sit next to him and begin to read.

“Is something different?”

You stop reading. “What do you mean?”

Izuku shrugs his broad shoulders. “You’ve been acting differently. Like something is wrong. Are you okay?”

You can’t tell him the truth. “Uh, teenage feelings.”

“I understand,” He scoots closer to you. “If it becomes something, will you tell me?”

You nod. Sometimes you forget that he’s a teenager, too. A teenager who saved the world at like, fifteen or sixteen, and fought the greatest evil the world has ever seen. You bite your lip and smack him lightly. “Want me to continue?”

With a closed lipped smile and warmth in his eyes, he settles on the couch. “Of course.”

–

Izuku isn't having a nightmare. In fact, he seems to be entirely peaceful and content. Maybe the dream affected him because he has gotten bolder with you. For instance, he's laying his head on your lap as he sleeps. Noa, of course, sleeps on Izuku’s chest.

Is this really Izuku? He couldn't even say your name now he’s sleeping on you like it is the most natural thing. The man in question jolts from a snore. You roll your eyes and play with his hair. The world doesn't matter right now as you look down at his peaceful face. Since the target audience is asleep, you don't continue to read. You’ll finish it later, especially since it happens to be Noa’s favorite.

--------

“Okay, okay! I’ll watch your stupid movie. It better be good.” You take a bite of the chicken. Noa grabs a piece and claps his hands. “Happy!”

“You like that little man?” Noa takes another and hums. Hitoshi of all people comes to sit at the partially full table. There aren’t that many hero students right now, so it is a bit of a surprise. According to Ema, the exams they had were pretty tough so some of them are still doing it.

“You failed?” Hitoshi throws a fry at you. Noa, also known as The Vacuum or Bottomless Pit, picks it up and eats it. “I passed, thank you very much. What’re you doing?”

“Eating.”

He scoffs. “No shit. I mean how’ve you been, what's been going on lately.” Ema observes the two of you like a television show. She clears her throat before you can continue with Hitoshi.

“Anyway, we were talking about Grease.”

“Figures.”

“Excuse me?” Ema straightens up. He points his chopsticks in your direction. “Figured you’d be into cheesy shit like that.”

Ema gasps as if she's been struck. “Cheesy?!” You touch Ema’s arm. “Honey, you need to breathe.”

Hitoshi raises his brows. “What? Princess over there doesn’t like it?”

“She’s never seen the classic. Have you?” Ema crosses her arms and moves her fingers, glaring at Hitoshi. “Saw it, it was shit.”

“Uncultured swine! How could you no-”

“I take it back. She’s the princess,” Hitoshi’s eyes connect with yours. “You’re just a brat.”

Ema stops her rampage. “He’s got that right.” You separate yourself from the table. The audacity of these bitches. They can only be saved if they admit that you are a goddess. “I know good and damn well-”

“I am a princess and you,” She looks you up and down. Hitoshi finishes her thought after he swallows. “A temperamental brat.”

The disrespect at the table is insane. You grip the edge of the table. “Bitch-”

“Hi, Shinsou!” Izuku waves from across the room until he sees you. He jogs to you with a big smile on his face. He softly touches your upper back. You let go of the table and ask him, “Did you pass?”

“Yep! Close call though. This exam was harder than I thought it’d be.”

Hitoshi nods and goes to grab another bite. “Got that right. Teachers were brutal this time.” Hitoshi shoves it in his mouth. He looks down at Kenji who’s looking healthier since you last saw him. Clearly, Hitoshi’s been taking care of him well.

“I’m gonna get something to eat, I’ll be right back.”

Hitoshi’s purple eyes flicker back up to you. “Did he like his cake?”

You forgot about that shit. “You asshole. His favorite is chocolate, not strawberry.”

“Strawberry shortcake. There’s a difference.” He corrects. Ema looks at the two of you confused. You point to the purple haired freak. “He told me Izuku’s favorite cake was strawberry shortcake and it’s not. Betcha five that it’s yours.”

He gives a devious smile. “Got it. Lovely cake by the way if you don’t count the burns.”

You smack your hands on the table. “There were no burns! The stove burned. Not the cake.”

“You tried to burn the house down?!” Ema’s eyebrows raise. You shake your head. “No, Noa messed with the knobs-”

“Why was he near fire?” Izuku’s broad frame comes into view. “He was helping with the cake-”

Little Kenji starts to cry. “Shit-”

You groan and reach for the baby. “Here, like this.”

Hitoshi gets the hold right. “You’re welcome.”

He nods and sucks in his lips. Hitoshi looks down at the table. “Thanks for everything, (Y/n).”

Izuku swallows his food. “For what?” Ah, you didn’t tell him that Hitoshi messed up his cake and that you helped him with Little Ken. It’s not like you have much to hide about it.

“She helped me with Little Kenji-”

“Who?” You look at Izuku from the corner of your eye. He is rigid and stiff. “She named him Kenji since my partner hasn’t told me the name. I don’t even think they have the certificate.”

“Kenji? As in Ken?”

Hitoshi looks around the table. “Yeah.”

Izuku is silent for what feels like minutes. He then gives Hitoshi a closed eye smile that is practically blinding. Does anyone else feel this tension? It’s rolling off of him like waves. You shiver and side eye him.

He turns to you. “Where’d you get that name? Did you just think of it?”

Your nostrils flare. Why in the hell would he ask that knowing how you know Ken? Through gritted teeth, you answer vaguely, “Named him after a friend.”

His face is fake. That sweet demeanor is so deceitful, and you know that everyone else at the table thinks so too, they just don’t know why. Fucking Deku continues to be fake as hell.

“That’s so sweet, (Y/n). I wonder what else you’d do.”

Hitoshi struggles with the baby. “She made my favorite cake for my birthday. That was the sweetest, wasn’t it spoiled kitty?” Hitoshi is getting on your nerves to a whole new level. This bitch is hitting nerves that you didn't even know existed.

“She is a bit spoiled."

You whip your head to Izuku who just agreed with this purple bitch. “Me? Are you kidding? Will you please hold that baby’s head-shut up-like this,” You reach over and adjust Little Ken again. “God. You people are so rude. I was just trying to be nice and make a cake for Izuku. And you,” You sit back down and turn to the green-haired menace. “I was helping him. The booger didn’t even have a name.”

You don’t know why you are defending yourself to these people or why you care. You huff, “Please, like you didn’t need help from me before? I helped you study for your dumb exam before you trained-” You stop mid sentence.

“Oh …” Ema rests her head on her hands. Her eyes dart between you three as she waits for another word. She’s watching like this is some kind of soap opera. This would be funny if it weren't for something you just noticed. Why didn't you question it before?

“Will everyone stop? Let's focus on the big thing here.” You scold her.

Ema rolls her eyes. “Potty training? I already gave you tips.”

“I’m talking about how they managed to care for the children while they did their exams.” The table goes silent. If this were an old western, a tumbleweed would go by. “Exams for the hero course are written and sometimes practical, right? How’d you guys manage that?”

Ema straightens up in her seat as she looks around. “I never asked Eijirō. Maybe they put them on the sidelines?” Her frown gets deeper as the seconds pass. Finally, you made sense and moved the conversation away from whatever the hell that was and onto more important things, like cheating.

“Izuku? Hitoshi?” She calls. Hitoshi is the first to speak. His face is indifferent, but his eyes say the opposite, especially when they make contact with you. “Due to the nature of the course, we give them to the caregiver.”

“Excuse me?” Ema’s chest starts to move. Her breathing is deep and steady. “You guys get to cheat? How much? During training or-?”

It was a question you never thought of because of how little you see the hero course have their kids. It never occurred to you that they’d have help. Izuku, someone who has been there with you for months now, didn’t think to mention that his friends get another advantage?

“Answer her, Izuku.” You side eye the silent hero next to you. He says nothing for a second then in a low voice, reluctantly answers, "All of it.”

Ema shakes. Kirishima comes in and waves at her but stops once he sees her anger. “This whole time? Are you kidding me?!” She yells. She heads over to him. The redhead’s face looks like a shocked and scolded kid.

"When did this start?" Your voice is quiet and cracked. It's the only words spoken during her rant behind you. Izuku’s head is down. Hitoshi freezes when you look up at him. Even though you were curious, you no longer care and decide to go without an answer. “No wonder why he was alive. A fucking caregiver during class hours was taking care of him.” You suck on your lips and shake your head. You try to will you voice not to quiver or crack but it still does.

“And you,” Izuku flinches slightly. “This whole time you knew. You could have fought for us. For me. You dare get mad because of a name and a fucking cake. Calling me spoiled? If I was, wouldn’t I be in the hero course?”

You stand up and grab Noa before he can try to get Izuku’s attention. Izuku stands as well, desperately trying to stop you from leaving. "It's not like that-"

"I hope you choke."

You leave and go to your friends, quickly informing everyone in the cafeteria of what went down just in case they can’t understand Ema’s screaming.

-----------

“This better be good, Ema.” You push Grease inside the player. The DVD spins and you sit down on your bed. Noa watches the screen intently after you hit play. The musical goes on until you get the urge to use the bathroom. Since it’s just you and Noa, you keep the door open.

Your phone rings again for the nth time. It's been almost forty-eight hours since you found out about the hero course having a caregiver and you haven’t talked to Izuku since. He texted you and called several times. You haven’t answered a single thing. To decompress, you decided to take on Ema’s suggested movie. You aren't really paying attention to it but it is a nice distraction from the tug on your heart.

Izuku lied to you. He didn't tell you that the hero course has some kind of caregiver for the kids. The general studies have been struggling with everything and rather than helping, he lied. This discovery is making you question everything. Like, why was Kaibara so angry if there was a caregiver? How long has this been going on? When Izuku said 'all of it', did he mean during exams or the whole class period? There aren't enough answers.

You begin to sing along with John Travolta. “Go grease lightnin’-”

“Potty…” After you flush, you look out and see Noa doing the pee-pee dance. He’s two years old now so training should begin. You go over and guide him to the bathroom and even set him on it while holding him. “No.”

“You sure?” He nods his head and right when you’re about to set him down, he hears the song and bounces. Quickly, you set him back down on the toilet and he uses the bathroom while singing the song.

“Does Grease Lightnin’ make you pee?”

“Yeah.”

Valuable information. "Alright, so tomorrow I'll try to find you a kiddie potty seat, okay?" You fix him all up and let him go. Noa grabs the remote and starts messing with it. "You break it, I break you!" You call out.

Against your judgment, you look at the phone and see the texts.

-(Y/n), please let me explain.

-PLEASE answer

-Darling please answer the phone

-I'm sorry

These continue on and on, with the last one being an apology. You want to yell at him. Call him every name in the book with the last being a traitor. You don't know why you even bothered with him. He's a hero. A deceitful, jealous, lying, self-serving, traitorous, tax leech. Why did you even give him the time of day?

You sigh and toss your phone on the bed. The DVD rewinds to the same song as before. Noa bounces again and takes his diaper off. “What’re you doing-no!” He grunts and pees on the fucking floor. You rush to get him on the toilet.

“Stop, stop, stop sto-oh come on.” He stops the trickle right when you get him on the seat. He smiles up at you and says, “I peed.”

Rude.

--------

Sakura comes in with a large plant. Its leaves are perfectly kept up, but it is still hideous. She places the potted plant next to Snipe’s desk. You don’t know why she gets to do that and why she even has such a hideous thing.

“Did you like it?” Ema’s facing you despite Snipe’s constant scolding. “Ema!” Snipe yells. “Hold on, Snipe! This is Grease!”

“I don’t care! Turn around and be quiet. Class is in session and we have a lot to talk about.”

You ignore him completely. After finding out that the heroes get a fucking pass when it comes to childcare, everyone became furious. Snipe, who usually has respect, is being bulldozed. Besides, talking about an ancient musical is more entertaining than whatever Snipe is talking about or Riko's tiring advice about a budget plan.

“It was alright. I don’t think it is something I’d watch on the regular.” Ema starts to growl. “The soundtrack was good though! Had a lot of catchy tunes, I’ll give it that.”

She perks up again. “I know right? Go grease lightnin’-” Noa stops bouncing on your lap and stares at her. Ema is completely oblivious to what she’s done. You jump up. “Hold it Noa, hold it!”

He pulls his pants down his own. “Dammit Noa, wait!” You pick him up and run to the door. Your classmates laugh at you. Noa grunts again. From what you figure, it is his telltale sign of him having to go to the bathroom.

Noa, the bastard, starts to urinate on the floor. “ No!” You go to Sakura’s plant for him to pee on. The owner stands up and screams. “(Y/n)! Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“This plant is ugly as fuck anyway!”

Unfortunately, a terrible thing happens. Jule’s child sniffles and runs to the plant. “Me too!”

“Jule!” You call. He gets up to get his daughter who has decided that Noa had a good idea to pee on the plant. Sakura yells again to stop the kids. The rest of the class finds this way too funny. Normally, you’d think it is funny but not when it’s your fucking son.

Jule’s baby girl-Etsuko?-sits on the soil in the pot. “Oh my God! Jule!”

“Jule, (Y/n), stop these kids right now!” Snipe points to you and Jule.

“How the hell did this start?” Benio’s once bewildered face morphs into an amused and annoying expression. Ema gestured to you and Noa. “I sang Grease Lightnin’ and he started-”

Noa, grunts again. “Stop saying that! It makes him-”

“Take the kid to the bathroom, now!” Snipe slams his hand on his desk.

Done with all of the yelling, you look up at Snipe. “This wouldn't be an issue if we had a caregiver!”

Right when Jule picks Etsuko up, the door opens. The sudden noise startles you. Quickly you turn around. Noa sighs and somehow releases once more. Much to your surprise, Eraserhead stands there unexpectedly. His black suit gets wetter by the second.

Your jaw drops, and the class gasps. Noa, your son, just peed on Aizawa.

“Ha!” Riko’s laughs become contagious. You haven’t smiled or laughed with them. Instead, you stand frozen even though the room becomes more chaotic than before. “(Y/n), that is enough. Go outside this instant.”

Snipe’s voice is calm and cool. You suck in your lips and nod. Aizawa still stands in front of the door. “Noa, if you got any more, now’s the time.”

----------

Surprisingly, you aren’t being punished. At least not right now. The heroes are villains wearing white. For all you know, they’re having secret meetings on how to destroy you. It would not be far-fetched to think Izuku is also in on these meetings seeing what a deceitful, unfair, degenerate he is.

You groan and rub your face. These textbooks are becoming too much for you the longer you work on them. Not to mention the law books and a damn budget plan you’ve been ignoring. It's a sound idea but tedious. You lean away from the desk.

You look at your phone again and read all of his desperate texts. Even though he appeared to be a sweet guy, his main color is green, like a snake. That should’ve been your first clue. Him and his stupid green eyes and soft green hair reek of deception. However, you can’t help but read the messages. Your stupid heart tries to soften towards him and quickly you layer cement over the cracks.

He pretended to understand your struggle and pain just for shits and giggles. He’s probably laughing with his friends and Hitoshi.

“Don’t cry.” Noa’s little hand touches your leg. You gasp and wipe your eyes. You just now notice how your phone screen has little droplets on it. Noa’s round eyes water. “Please, don’t cry.”

He’s very vocal for a two-year-old. It’s something you’re very proud of and happily put in your report. But you didn’t want this. Who would want their child to voice this and feel your heartbreak?

“I’m fine, my little love.” You kiss the top of his head. Noa snuggles up to your legs. “I miss Papa.”

That’s a natural reaction since you haven’t talked to Izuku. Noa is used to him and when Izuku leaves for his job, Izuku makes sure to tell Noa that he’ll be back. He always tells Noa goodbye or something.

“I know-”

“You do, too.” His little voice is muffled. He sniffles and squeezes you. He rubs his face with your leg. Your pride is tough to swallow. You bite your lip as you unlock the window and bring out your phone. This project is trying to humble you when you are an innocent civilian. You shouldn’t be feeling like you’re losing and yet you do. You are losing.

The phone rings once. “Noa wants to see you.”

The knock on the door is steady. You answer it not expecting it to be fucking Deku since he usually jumps in from the window. Lo and behold, here he is, in his hero costume and all. You step aside and let him in. The first thing he does is give Noa a big kiss. “I’ve heard that you’ve had an interesting few days.”

One of the many things you didn’t want to happen is fucking Deku finding out that his son peed on his beloved teacher, Eraserhead to “Grease Lightnin’” being sung in the background. It was funny for a second then you saw his face and his eyes were red, and not from his quirk. Did Eraserhead send Izuku to ‘deal’ with you or did he get in trouble in your place?

Then again, the little shit didn’t say anything about a fucking caregiver so who cares if he got in trouble?

A smirk draws on your lips. “A little. How was-”

“I know with everything going on it’s hard for you. I’m with you with every step, (Y/n).” Izuku puts Noa down and tells him to go play with his new All Might toy Izuku gave to him a week or so ago. “But it isn’t right to have Noa pee on someone.”

“It wasn’t on purpose-” Well, not at first.

“You and everyone else were laughing. (Y/n), that wasn’t right and you know it. Rather than apologizing, you encouraged it.”

“What? How?” If you really did, Noa would have taken a shit on him.

“‘ Noa, if you got any more, now’s the time ?’ That ring a bell?” Izuku walks to you until you are face to face. His frown is unsettling, leaving a chill along your body. “Okay, you’re mad.” So am I.

“I’m ticked, (Y/n). Imagine coming home and the first thing I find out is that my son peed on someone and you laughed about it! My teacher of all people.”

“Ha! I did not laugh. Everyone else did.” His nostrils flare. “(Y/n), this isn’t funny. Do you understand how much trouble you’re in?”

You stick your lip out and pout. “Who are you? My dad? It’s fine. Noa had an accident and this will be a memorable lesson. The asshole is lucky nothing else happened.”

Before Izuku can say anything, Noa tugs on his pant leg. “I have pee!” Izuku guides Noa to the bathroom without a second glance your way. You are your own person who can do as you please, so this guilty feeling has to go. So what if Noa peed on a teacher? How is it your fault that Noa’s aim is wicked?

You bite your lip and look at the ground. You will not apologize to Eraserhead. Not when he is a crooked piece of shit with an awful hero name. You aren’t going to apologize to Midoriya either.

Noa runs out with his pants around his ankles. His arms are wide as he wobbles to you. “I pee!”

“You did?! Oh my goodness!” You litter his face with kisses. “I’m so proud of you!” Of course he’d use the bathroom for Izuku. Let it be you and he decides to pee on a teacher. And that is only because of a damn song! He won’t use the bathroom like a normal person.

Izuku calls for Noa. The boy who has now peed on the toilet wobbles to him, not thinking it’d be best to pull up his pants. Your smile falls when you turn your head and look at your desk. On it is the stack of paper that still needs to be filled and the textbooks that still need to be read. Of course, how can you forget about your stupid budget plan ?

It’s not that you don’t know how or that it isn’t important. The problem is that it’s depressing and stressful. Because you know good and damn well that you are going to have to sacrifice necessities to support a doll.

Izuku comes out of the bathroom with Noa. “I have to go. I’ll be back in a little while, okay?”

“Papa-” Noa reaches for him. Izuku lowers himself and reassures the toddler who is seconds away from tears. “I’ll be back. I just have to settle things first.”

His green eyes look up at you. Ah, Eraserhead needs to be ‘settled’. You shrug at him. “Maybe Shouta should talk to the caregiver for him to understand things like this just happen.” He stands back up and glares at you. The look he has on his face doesn’t compare to his expression when facing a villain, so you’re not in danger.

“When I come back, we’ll talk.”

You roll your eyes. Welp, in the meantime you and Noa can go out and get some sun.

----------

With a low voice, you talk to yourself. “If I cut that out, I can afford his pull-ups.” The sun becomes blocked as a familiar voice interrupts.

“What’re you doing? Homework?” You look up to see your horrible homeroom teacher. “No.”

“Unfortunate.”

“I’m budgeting. Something heroes don’t know since you collect from the poor man’s taxes.” You hate it. Every single thing to do with their world, you hate. Here you are cutting corners and he stands there, looking down at you. Behind him is Noa who plays in the grass with other dolls and lives his life stress-free. Both Snipe and Noa anger you. If you look at them too long, your heart will pound in your ears and you’d be bound to scream.

Snipe exhales and squats. “This is a part of the project, (Y/n).” Snipe takes a peek at your composition notebook. “And life. I can’t change-”

Snipe stops and grabs the corner of the book. He points to one section and asks, “Why are you doing this?”

You raise a brow at his question. Did he not hear you? Snipe answered loud and clear. This is a part of his stupid project and life. Some things have to get cut out.

“It’s life. This is real life and what happens when heroes are given support while people like me suffer. Y’know, like you guys have jobs and caregivers. ”

Snipe shakes his head and slides his hand under his mask. He rubs his face and sighs. The gesture is a familiar and common occurrence with you. Cutting certain things out to afford Noa was bound to happen. What the hell did he expect? Sen Kaibara is MIA with the assignment, and you can’t depend on Izuku all the time. He might be there for Noa, but paying for everything isn’t his responsibility. You aren’t his responsibility. What the hell was Snipe expecting? He took your job away, so this is the result.

“Alright. I’ll let you in on a loophole,” He stands up. “Volunteer work is not against the rules,” Your scholarship. The very thing you work hard for and that continues to bite you in the ass. “If you happen to get tips, it’s not your fault. You aren’t an employee. It isn’t a requirement to pay you.”

Snipe walks away from you and heads back inside the school. Your heart flutters. Quickly, you open the book again and replan. You try to remember how much you made at Yona’s with your usual tips. That source of money isn’t normal in this country but there are still people that give you cash.

You bite your tongue so you don't loudly squeal. Your legs are laid out in front of you wiggling and bouncing from excitement. As long as it’s under the table and labeled as volunteering, you’re good to go. The profit is just a bit of change, but it will help. If you tell Yona about this, she’s sure to encourage tipping.

You look up just in time to see Noa wandering off a little too far for your liking. “Boy! Get back here!” At two years old, he’s a curious little beast. Luckily, it doesn’t take much to get his attention. He runs back with a happy expression. You stretch your arms out to encourage him to run to you. His little feet carry him fast. Suddenly, Noa stops running. He stiffens and says lowly, “Mo -”

You let out a blood-curdling scream that gathers everyone’s attention. His eyes go blank, and his cute features fade away to look like a doll. A frozen, lifeless, doll.

--------

You are holding him close to you as you and your friends run through the hallway. Your arms are shaking at the foreign plastic you are touching. This isn’t Noa. Noa is warm, soft, and chunky. His hair doesn’t feel synthetic like this; his hair has curls and is soft. It is supposed to smell of his kiddie shampoo and conditioner. The one with that one snake hair hero on it that was for a good price and doesn’t mess with his skin.

This thing smells of plastic toys and the laundry detergent you use to wash his clothes. Even that doesn’t smell right. None of this is right. This doll isn’t your son, it can’t be. He was fine! He was playing and had gone to the bathroom just a few minutes before he turned into a stiff doll.

You, Ema, and Riko bust through the support course doors. Mei Hatsume comes around the corner with a smile on her face. Why is she smiling?

“Ah, I was gonna call you to bring him in.” She takes him from your arms. He’s totally stiff and looks like a cheap doll you’d get at a store. He resembles nothing of the boy you’re raising. “I need to tune him up. I’ve been going through this all day!”

She takes a screwdriver to his back, making you flinch. Riko looks at you from the corner of her eye and holds your hand. “Since I’m busy, it’ll take me about the rest of the day. I have all of them and then some other projects that need tending to. So have fun!”

She leaves with the doll. You follow her for a few steps, and you see what the future holds. All of the babies are in a frozen state with the same face. They are all in a pile with the parents’ names pinned on their clothes. The air that you greedily were sucking in is gone once again. Snuffed out like it meant nothing to your body.

Riko grabs your arm to guide you out of the large room. You willingly walk out, not bothering to look at your concerned friends. Is Ema scared? Is her heart beating ruthlessly in her chest? What did she see during all of that? You had witnessed months' worth of work demolished. No, what you saw was a grave that all of the kids you watched grow up in front of you turn to lifeless material.

Are her eyes watering too? Or does she think you’re weak and stupid to be clutching your chest, fighting the overwhelming urge to cry? Thankfully, you don’t have to see or listen to the answer since you are already far from them and into the girls’ restroom. You close the door and press your hand against it. A stall door opens and then shuts. The water from a faucet sounds off, distracting you from the thoughts in your head.

“(Y/n)?” Sakura’s high voice catches your attention. “What’s wrong?” You don’t, can’t, answer. She lightly grabs your shoulders. Her eyes rake over your body. She’s the type to pour water on a drowning man, someone labeled as cold-hearted and insensitive. Despite this, she looks concerned for you. You don’t hate each other but you do step on each other's toes on purpose. It’s something that works. Now here she is pulling you into a hug.

“I know, I know. Bakugou just went to Mei, too.” Was she fighting the urge to cry as well? Is someone finally on the same boat as you? “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay. I need you to breathe.”

What you couldn’t accomplish on your own, she does in mere minutes. Sakura wets your face with a cold and damp paper towel. You want to say something smart to her like normal. This isn’t a normal situation. You just freaked out over a robot.

You take a few deep breaths and ask Sakura, “Do I look okay?”

“No.”

“I must look sexy because you’re my number one hater.”

She scoffs and tosses the used towel at you. There is a hint of a smile on her face. “Jealousy is a terrible disease. Please die from it.”

“( Y/n)!” You walk out and give her a smile to let her know you’re okay and to thank her. Sakura won’t tell anyone about this. If she did, people might assume you’re friends.

---------

This is so weird. All day you’ve set different things aside out of habit. You’ve done the most with someone’s plate of food, going as far as cutting their meat. You did it out of instinct. When you walk, you go slower than you would before this project since Noa’s little legs can keep up. He isn’t next to you when you walk or stand, nevertheless you still reach to hold a hand, desperately searching until you look down and see nothing.

In the commons, you see how stiff people are. Some of your classmates have blank faces and grab their baby’s silverware to set aside when eating. Others are relaxed and have their feet propped up which was great to see. However, with you included, most are struggling with their assignment’s absence.

At least they didn’t see what you saw in the support course room. Would they have been affected like you after seeing what is to come? Hopefully, that image will prevent shock later on.

Stiffly, you walk a familiar path and see something you’ve longed for. To the left is the vendor you would wave at every day and on the corner is that couple who always bicker at that same spot. Even though they argue about stupid things and annoy everyone, you miss them.

Now that Snipe has given the okay to volunteer, you are heading to the people you've missed the most. You open the restaurant doors and take a deep breath. It’s familiar and so comforting. It smells like Kenji’s cooking and faintly like Yona’s perfume. Both are distinct and homey. This is what you clung to during the wars and what you found solace in.

Before you can take a step further inside to the hostess podium, Yona comes out from around the corner. She’s taken back for a second then settles into a fond smile and a relieved face with misty eyes. You can’t hold it in anymore. You’ll worry about your appearance and pride later. The reaction you had with Noa can be thought about later, too. Right now, you run to her open arms and cry. You run away from Noa’s lifeless eyes, the school, heroes, Izuku, and every burden they placed on you, and into Yona’s warm and loving hold.

taglist:

@candiiee, @moodyhuesworld @4ishere @dinorawrss @js-favnanadoongi @luvrluvrr @imas1mpp @bigchungusdrinksspritecranberry

@xoxoangellll

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hydra-failure · 3 months ago

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Open Rp

[Pics have nothing to do with Rp, my gallery is just shit]

[Tw: Bullying, blood, Angst-ish, Panic attacks, cursing]

Kid's can be cruel, really cruel. Dominik can be quite proof of that. It wasn't even few months since he started going to school and it was already hell for him.

the first days were guite Okay-ish at least in his words, just some name calling, and occasional swearing, nothing he couldn't handle.

But each week the situation got worse and worse and worse, the other students would destroy his stuff, name call him, and even psychically attack him, Dominik still choose not to tell you anything, everytime you would mention some bruises or broken thing, he would just brush it off by saying he was clumsy.

The bullying got so bad, that the students decided to beat Dominik Infront of the school yard, after destroying his stuff and beating him to a Pulp they left, and Dominik was left bleeding on the school concrete, after checking that no was around, he weakly stood up, grabbed his backpack and went home.

He got to his room, opened his closet and processed to threw everything piece of clothing away on the ground, once the closet was completely empty, he sat inside and locked the door, shaking and crying.

You have decided to check on him since he was acting quite weird the whole few months.

[Tags, no pressure tho: @crazyinlovewithfandoms(Any accs), @little-lost-prince(Any accs, sorry I keep forgetting your mod acc), @thatone-midgardian(any accs), @thescarleteevee(Any accs) @david-sunshine-chapel, + anyone who wants to interact, no pressure]

#marvel oc #marvel oc rp #mcu roleplay #mcu rp #marvel roleplay #marvel rp #mcu oc #mcu oc rp #marvel roleplay blog

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pathological-runaway · 13 days ago

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Echoes of What You Deemed Gone

Resh finally gets to walk around the village and meet the locals. They wish they had not.

ch. 4 ch. 1 prev (ch. 3) read on ao3 >>> next (ch. 5)

tws: panic attacks, hallucinations, mentions of war and death

A dim, soft light enters the attic through the tiny window, painting the floor and walls a purple-ish hue, warmer than the colour of night yet too cold to be recognised as a sign of morning. There are no sounds, not even birds dare sing at this early hour.

It takes them a while to realise where they are, the darkness and the silence foreign to their senses.

Not needing to sleep, they were not really planning to go to bed (they do not possess a bed, but it is how the phrase goes, is it not?), just lying down on the rug to change position after sitting and brooding for so long. They do not have much to do besides that — for now, at least — so they thought it could be worthwhile to not do anything for some time. Not doing anything is, after all, how they spent most of their time in Eden — it is just that they never assumed a horizontal position then.

The thing is, they did not expect to fall asleep. And now that they woke up, it feels somewhat surreal.

It has been a long time since they last had the privilege of waking up. They almost forgot what it even feels like.

Resh did not have any dreams this night. Or, perhaps, they simply cannot remember them (they recall that someone — someone they definitely should not waste their effort trying to remember — said once that people actually dream every time they sleep, it is simply that they often have no recollection of what they saw), but it does not matter. What does is that they have lost a few hours to unconsciousness. A different kind of unconsciousness than usual, but it is not like they want to complain about it.

They wonder if they will be able to fall asleep again, maybe spend some more time disconnected from reality instead of having to sort the thoughts plaguing their mind. Pushing them away is harder now that they have started letting them in, and they could do with a little extra help.

But they do not succeed in their attempt to fall asleep. They do not really know how long has passed — they forgot to look at the clock, so now its indications do not carry any meaning — when the whole process becomes tedious, and Resh sits up instead, staring at nothing in particular and listening to the sound of silence.

Well, it is not really silent anymore. A few birds can be heard chirping in the distance, reminding Resh of their childhood, waking up to a familiar song— no, there is no way they will go down memory lane now.

A new sound joins the warble outside: that of an opening — and then closing — door, followed by soft footsteps. A quick glance at the clock reveals that it is still too early for anyone to be awake. Even children of light were not bothering them at this hour yesterday — and that means a lot.

Speaking of the children, they did stop coming every few minutes. Hopeful Steward’s strategy must have worked, thank stars.

Is it Hope sneaking around downstairs?

Their curiosity piqued, Resh opens the hatch and goes down. They are not quite sure why, but anything is better than ruminating about how they are basically trapped and unwanted in this village.

It should be, at least.

Stewie’s house is not very big. Resh supposes that the only reason the kid has a whole house to themself (used to, at least, until a few days ago), is the importance they have in Aviary. Hope may have been a bit secretive and self-deprecating when talking about who they are, because even closed off from everybody and everything, the King has noticed how the child keeps running around the village, probably helping others. Resh can be mistaken here, of course, but the lifeless grey of Hope’s eyes and how they speak as if they know every single thing that is happening in the village do hint at their role. Let alone the fact that they, according to some rather talkative sky kids, were actually the one to convince people to let Resh stay. There is no way the child is just “responsible for everyone’s well-being” like they claim to be.

From right below the hatch, Resh can easily see the kitchen and the tiny living room (two armchairs and a pile of cushions by the window, and the ladder into the attic), as well as one more door leading to what Resh assumes is Steward’s bedroom. Could not be anything else, could it?

Taking a step and peeking into the kitchen, the ex-Ruler notices Steward fixing one of the ribbons in their hair, a pensive look on their face. Are they seriously already dressed at this early hour? Impressive.

Resh ponders whether they should climb back up or go and greet Hope, and this moment of hesitation turns out to be enough for the kid to come back to reality from whatever they have been thinking about and to notice them. Steward��s absorbed expression disappears immediately, replaced with a smile that appears to Resh too bright to be genuine. They have been around sufficient false smiles during their life and have faked enough to know one when they see it. They do not comment on it though: what good would it be?

“Oh, good morning!” Steward greets, and the ex-King is suddenly reminded of how much they despise that cheerful tone. “Have you slept well?”

Resh mumbles something incoherent, not particularly keen on the idea of having a chat with them right now.

After a brief pause, Hopeful Steward asks tentatively:

“You know, it’s very early. Not many are up. I could show you around — you haven’t really seen the village since you arrived. Would you like to? I- I was going to go out either way.”

Of course they would not. But if the only alternative is to stay stuck on the rug in the attic for the rest of eternity (which would probably end up driving them mad, even madder than they are now), maybe giving it a shot could be the reasonable thing to do.

Resh feels their own features distort in disgust. After quickly making a mental note to start re-training their facial muscles to hide their emotions (a rather useful skill they seem to have lost), the ex-Ruler reluctantly agrees.

“Fine by me.”

***

The place is… lovely.

It is all green, warm and simple, with pathways instead of broader roads, and small houses nested inside the hills. Resh spots a few birds here and there, ones they have seen countless times before in Isle or Prairie. They recall Steward telling them the Village is to the South of Isle, and it surely shows. The climate reminds them of that of Prairie. Were it not for Isle’s closeness to the sea, Perhaps Resh would find similarities here as well, but Aviary, as they quickly understand, is located on an elevated area, similarly to Prairie. Either way, the place looks peaceful, and the air here is surprisingly clean after what Resh had to breathe in Eye of Eden.

There is a pole with colourful flags in the middle of what Resh assumes to be the village square. To the left side of the gate (upon seeing the construction serving as the wall separating Aviary from the outside world, Resh notices its distinctive style they had never really seen anywhere before. Was it erected before the rest of the village? Is it a trace left by ancestor settlers, a work of those who lived here before Resh was even born? They have never learnt much of the history of pre-Elder civilisations, with everything pre-dating the Fall seeming irrelevant and distant, but now they are genuinely intrigued. Are there any historians in the village? Hopeful Steward did mention there being representatives of all the realms besides Eye of Eden, so there might be somebody competent enough to unravel the mystery. Resh is not sure they want to try asking though. Suddenly reminded of their predicament, they whisper a curse), there is a lovely pond, behind which they see a building with a lot of windows and small balconies: a more Forest-style type of residence.

Hopeful Steward does not talk much. They have a notebook in their hand with something scribbled there (Resh can barely decipher their handwriting and what they do understand is filled with spelling mistakes) and walk around the village, attentively observing every nook and cranny of it. They stare at the water and the small fishes swimming there. They exchange a few words with the birds (with a few mistakes made in their language as well). They pay attention to the state off the walls and the fences and, when they take the upper path (Resh did not notice it at first), the roofs as well. They turn left and come to an opening in the clouds, which, as indicated by the arrow symbol, must be a way into the Wind Paths. The ex-King has spent a fair amount of time surveilling the redesigning process of the wind roads, and there was never any way leading to the outskirts of the Kingdom. Have they redone it? When? Or have the clouds moved in the absence of people disturbing them?

Finally, — Aviary Village may be ridiculously small, but the child takes their time to scrutinise everything — Hope takes a look at the seven portals situated on the wide meadow. This miracle of magic (few portals were ever in operation in the Kingdom, and, if Resh remembers correctly, they have never been entirely legal because of how complex and risky the portal-making spells are. The fact that there are seven of them, plus one in Vault (how did they miss this detail the first time?) is fascinating, both from the technological and from the legal points of view) must require a lot of maintenance, because Steward spends a long while going from one to another and noting something. Resh keeps a distance from them during the process, unwilling to bother the kid despite the growing curiosity.

They might despise the place for what it means for them specifically, but, after decades spent solving all sorts of political, social and economic problems (and causing a few), the quaint little village cannot not attract their attention. How was it founded? When? By whom? How did it maintain itself when everyone was alive? How is it now? Resh never heard of any partnerships with the outskirts during their life. They never even heard of the place itself. Did it all start after the sanctions? Was it happening undercover during the war? Was it a neutral zone? Is it now?

When Hopeful Steward is done examining the portal leading to Eye of Eden (Resh keeps looking away the whole time), they come up to Resh with a somewhat sheepish smile.

“Most of this isn’t really my duty, nor am I skilled enough to understand all the subtleties,” Hope starts, as if explaining themself or making up an excuse (for what, Resh is not sure), “but if there’s something I can notice, I write it down and report it to whoever knows how to deal with the problem. It… became necessary after the first shard landings. The earlier the reddened skies were noticed, the safer it was. Now it’s a habit, almost. Especially since I don’t need to sleep.”

“Shard landings?” Resh raises an eyebrow before they realise it. They did not really mean to ask it out loud.

“Oh, you know, after the Shattering, pieces of the Diamond would fall in different places. Aviary may be far away, but it was still reached a few times.”

Resh smells soot in the air and feels their own heart thumping. The Diamond. The Shattering. It was all their—

“Hi Stewie!”

“Hiya!”

“Hello everyone!”

Resh turns around brusquely. There are some children — the living ones — waving at the two of them. None of them looks familiar, but Resh would not trust themself with this: they have been visited by dozens of kids soon after their arrival. They may be misremembering.

The soot disappears, and the ex-Ruler’s breath steadies, but they do not trust themself to speak yet.

“’that Resh?” one of the group asks, eyes shining brightly, while the other two whisper something into each other’s ears.

Hopeful Steward nods.

“Yes, it is. Resh, these are Kee, Miley and Roo.”

Resh could not care less about any of them. They just look away, uncomfortable with still being outside now that everyone is starting to wake up. Who knows what will happen when spirits see them. It is their first time being unprotected by their status around people — regular people — and stars know their presence here is not exactly wanted.

Resh vaguely hears Hope chatting with the kids, and notices a few more of them walking down the pathway towards the portals. They try to convince themself that there is no danger yet, but little does it calm the heart anxiously pounding in their chest.

“…already? Then I think I’ll go greet them and have a cup of tea. Safe travels to you three!” Steward nods towards the group and runs up to Resh. “The last stop for now is the café. I’ll briefly talk to Tea-Brewer. You can wait outside; it won’t take long.”

All Resh does is sigh and nod absent-mindedly. At least it will be over soon, and they will be able to return to the attic and spend the rest of the day lying aimlessly on the rug.

Hope peeks into what Resh supposes is the café only to take a step back and announce that Tea-Brewer (another stupid name) must be outside. The two walk below an arch, and on the left side of the narrow street, a person stands whipping the bar with a cloth.

Judging by the semi-transparent look, it is a spirit. An adult one, and definitely one that used to be (or perhaps still is?) a poor commoner. Their dress and headscarf are old-fashioned, and on their cape and apron a few stains can be observed. They appear to be the type of person Resh would not even bother looking at for too long, and the ex-Ruler feels relieved that Tea-Brewer is not anyone of much importance. Not that they should have doubted it in the first place, considering the name.

“Good morning, Tea-Brewer!” Hopeful Steward says, beaming. Their smile, despite how big it is, seems genuine. Strange.

“Oh, good morning, sweetie!” Tea-Brewer responds, “Up already?”

“Yes! Things to do, you know.”

“Never resting, are you? Come inside, I’ll make you a cuppa.”

“Thank you.”

The spirit puts the tablecloth into the pocket of their apron, and their eyes dart towards Resh. Tea-Brewer furrows their brows and turns away immediately.

Hope follows them into the café, looking back for a moment to give the ex-King an apologetic look. The latter feels rage boiling inside them. Sure, they have done horrible things in the past, but seeing this simpleton eye them with so much hate — even if for a split second... How dare they!

Despite themself, they hear voices coming from the inside and approach the door to listen.

“…told you, it’s better for them to be here than scaring kids in Eden. Maybe they could help with something.”

“Help? You know perfectly well they’re rotten to the core. Don’t ever bring them here, I don’t want to see them.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll keep it in mind. But maybe giving them a chance—”

“Stewie, honey,” there is some clinking of glass as Tea-Brewer pours tea into a cup and moves it to the kid, “I know you’re an optimist, but, trust me, you’re the only one here. If it weren’t for you, I’d’ve already thrown them out where they belong.”

Resh grits their teeth and clenches their fists. Inside the café, Hopeful Steward sips tea and sighs.

“I know,” they say quietly, almost too quietly.

“I do admire your efforts,” Tea-Brewer’s hand reaches out to pat Stewie on the head, “just remember that they are the person they are. There’s no guarantee they’re even capable of changing. No guarantee that they’ll ever care. You know what they’re like. I know what they’re like.”

“Now, I sincerely doubt that!” Resh growls, stepping into the room. Oh, that idiot has no idea what they are even talking about. I know what they’re all about — the nerve of them!

An expression of fear crosses Hope’s face, and the child quickly turns back towards Tea-Brewer.

“No one asked for your opinion,” Tea-Brewer growls back, eyes shining with hatred, “leave immediately.”

“No one asked for your opinion on matters you don’t even understand! Don’t you go around telling people that you know—”

“Oh really?” they take a step towards Resh. “You think nobody knows what you did? You think nobody knows what it was like? Do you think people buy that the war was ‘for the greater good’? With no civilians dying? Well, I’ve been there! I’ve seen all the death and destruction that you pretended never existed! I’ve seen the sacrifices you claimed were made ‘fighting for a better future’! I’ve heard what you said after it all ended, I’ve heard you say it was negligible, that it was necessary! Not so talkative now, eh? No excuses left, eh? Coward.”

The dust in the air makes it slightly hard to see, and their hands start shaking. They try to formulate their thoughts, annoyed at the constant sounds of thunder interrupting them.

“I did what was right!” Oh, who are they kidding!

“Oh sure! Cuz my neighbour’s newborn dying was right!” the spirit comes from behind the counter, and their glare looks like the red lighting Resh has seen so many times in Eye of Eden. “You never cared for any deaths, during the war or before. The miners…”

Resh cannot hear the rest of their words. They feel like the room is far, far away from where they are, and the falling stones around them make it even harder to focus on what is happening.

The miners. The accidents they tried to hide. The deaths of thousands of light creatures in the— now, they should stop thinking about that immediately. Darkness pollution, the epidemic that plagued Shores— nonononono, not that, either… Deserted streets of Wasteland, bodies half-buried amidst weapons and corpses of light creatures. Dead children. Crowds gathering on the squares, attempting to evacuate, and them standing on the balcony and looking at it all from above, knowing it was too late.

Why do they keep thinking about it? They should stop, they must stop, they need to stop—

Resh grabs their head with their hands, shaking it to make the thoughts disappear, to make the pain go away. It was not their fault. It was not their fault. It was. It is. Not, it is not. They should stop thinking. They should focus on something else. It is their fault. People died. People cannot be brought back. It is not their fault. It is. Tea-Brewer is right, they must go back to where they came from, because this is what they deserve for what they have done. It is their fault.

Resh staggers, their legs barely obeying them at this moment. They need to get out, they need to—

They have no idea how long they keep walking for, or what is happening around them. There is soot in the air, and they keep bumping into something — someone? Voices call out to them, but they are all easily drowned out by the thunder and the falling rocks. They need to find a safe place. They have to hide from the wind.

A sound pierces the air — and the noises immediately subside. There is a person on the grass, their back turned to Resh, a person with a ponytail and strong arms, a person whose laughter is the most beautiful music in the world.

Resh hears themself gasp and feels their whole body trembling uncontrollably. No, it cannot be them. They are gone �� why would they be here? Why would they come back?

Before the person turns their head to look at them, Resh’s feet start running as far away from here as fast they can. They do not know where they are taking them, all they know is that they must get away as quickly as possible, before the person notices them and their beautiful face is darkened by disappointment, before they look at Resh and tell them that all that happened is their fault and they should have known better, that they failed them and everyone around them, that they should have died a long time ago and that learning that their only child turned into the cruel tyrant who killed and approved of killing was the biggest disillusionment in their existence.

They manage to find the way to Hope’s house by sheer luck.

#sky cotl #sky children of the light #runaway writes #king resh #sky cotl resh #hopeful steward #tiptoeing tea brewer

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wangxianficfinder · 1 year ago

Text

In the mood for...

~*~

1. ITMF a fic where the Lans or the neis or the cultivation world in general find out about the abuse wwx takes at jiang sect and the other sects trying to help him @zerokogane

Warming up (to him) by barisan (T, 9k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, Hypothermia, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Temporary Character Death, Medical Inaccuracies, YZY Abuses WWX, JFM Bashing, pre-wangxian, Good Uncle LQR, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort) I have recommendations for the 1st one where Lan Qiren steps in!

Rediscovery, Reconstruction by ExtraPenguin (M, 27k, JFM/WWX, LQR & WWX, WWX/OC(s), rape/non-con, underage, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Rape Recovery, bildungsroman, Self-Discovery) tw for csa and rape, this one makes the abuse even worse but it's a wonderful fic about Lan Qiren stepping in to save Wei Wuxian (also has wwx/original character)

Blooming Bruises on my Soul and Body by xxxMiaHikarixxx (T, 13k, WangXian, Living on Streets, psychological abuse, WWX being a protective brother, JC being a protective brother, Good brother JC, Good brother LXC, Happy Ending, Angst With Some Comfort, Physical Abuse, Neglect, LXC is a Wangxian supporter, LWJ is whipped, Hate Crimes, multiple POVs)

🔒💙 Holding shreds by barisan (T, 5k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, No Sunshot Campaign, Body Swap, Not for sexy shenanigans, Chronic Pain, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, POV WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jiāng Family Bashing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Getting Together, Smart WWX)

~*~

2. Hi! Now that I finished my exams 😭, I'm ready to read a lot of new Wangxian fics! ❤️

So, for the next ITMF, I was thinking in fics about:

A) The Lans (LQ, LXC, LWJ or any Lan) looking for WWX in the burial mounds after he saved the Wens, bc they need his help. And then the Lans decided to help WWX after watching the truth.

B) Or the Lans visiting WWX bc LWJ said WWX didn't have any army and when they understand the truth, they decided to help WWX and the Wens.

Plus if there is a Wangxian weeding 😍. Please happy ending in both cases. 🙏

Thank you so much!! Love this blog 🤗💜

@wangxiansgirl

2A)

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole)

2B)

Discordant Rhapsody by nirejseki (T, 49k, LQR & WWX, wangxian, JC & WWX, WQ & WWX & WN, LWJ & LQR & LXC, canon divergence, fix-it, hurt/comfort, trauma, politics, protective LQR, protective LWJ, protective WWX, LQR centric, whump, angst)

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 91k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days)

~*~

3. hii! i hope you guys are doing well <3! I've been in a nhs mood, and I was wondering if you have any recs with nhs and wwx friendship, fix it, canon, anything works! i read the one in your last itmf i think, and I'm just craving more of those two! thank you in advance! @flexible-racoon

~*~

4. ITMF a dead dove focusing on CQL nieyao's age gap @crypticidentity

~*~

5. Itmf canon-compliant ish fics (not modern setting) where the first thing Wei Wuxian does after coming back from the dead is run straight to Lan Zhan? Thank you!

~*~

6. HIII is there any good arranged married Wwx and Lwj? Or maybe they're married fr and they have A-yuan as their son? @naoenowa

True Gold Fears No Fire by defractum (nyargles) (M, 69k, WIP, WangXian, Royalty AU, Ancient China, Wuxia, Historical Inaccuracy, Arranged Marriage, Identity Porn, Mutual Pining, Emperor!LWJ, empress!wwx, Eventual Happy Ending, Misunderstandings)

Into the Oubliette by Ruixx (M, 124k, WIP, WangXian, Growing Up, Fix-It of Sorts, Arranged Marriage, Time Travel, Sibling Bonding, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Canon Divergence, Light BDSM, Breathplay, Wwx protection squad, Sunshot Campaign, War Politics, Hostage JYL, Visions, LXC Redemption, general lwj, Internal Sect, Politics, Good Uncle LQR, Lan OC’s, No Golden Core Transfer, Empire Building)

🧡 hypothetically, of course by johnnyfucksup (G, 22k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Character Study, Kinda, Inter-sect politics, a little bit, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Strangers to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Falling In Love, The Mortifying Ordeal of Falling In Love With Your Betrothed, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, very awkward ones at that, Slow Burn Speedrun)

A Wonderful (business) Arrangement by Orchidaisy_55 (E, 58k, wangxian, JC/NHS, LXC/JGY, JYL/JZX, Arranged Marriage, Modern, A/B/O, True Love, First Love, Mpreg, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Domestic Fluff, WWX is LSZ's Parent, mentions of miscarrage, Anal Sex, secondary sex characteristics, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy)

The Ties That Bind by silverclaw (G, 43k, wangxian, A/B/O, Arranged Marriage, Modern, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ, past toxic relationship, Slow Burn, husbandiest of husband material WWX, mention of mpreg in relation to side-character, hurt LWJ, WWX falls first AND harder, No Smut)

After I Met You by Amandyalmonds (M, 78k, wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox Spirit WWX, Canon Divergence, Royalty AU, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Madam Yu's A+ Parenting, Protective WQ, Protective LWJ, Canon-Typical Violence, Unreliable Narrator WWX, Arranged Marriage, Miscommunication, Autistic LWJ, WIP)

Cultivator Lan's Wedding by squishh (Not Rated, 14k, wangxian, LXC/QS, Arranged Marriage, hidden identity, Nobleman Ryu's Wedding AU, slightly more based in historical reality, still xianxia tho, Wife swap, Slow Burn, Bisexual WWX, Demisexual LWJ, No War AU, No Yīn Iron, WWX's canonical backstory - mostly, YZY is slightly less abusive, still abusive tho, JYL not engaged to JZX, Canon-Typical Violence, No homophobia as a form of self-care to the author, Happy Ending, JC and WWX have a much better relationship here, POV Alternating, POV LWJ, POV WWX, Crossdressing, Historical Fantasy, WIP)

🔒 it's just a little white lie by MohnDoe (T, 1k, wangxian, Inspired by a Reddit Post, Modern Setting, Arranged Marriage, WIP)

Not Lost, Just Undiscovered by anancites (E, 107k, wangxian, Modern, Arranged Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Idiots in Love, Mildly Dubious Consent)

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7. Fics which go with the lyrics: " These days, I'm way too lonely

I'm missing out, I know

These days, I'm way too alone And I'm known for giving love away, but

I want someone who love me

I need someone who needs me

'Cause it don't feel right when it's late at night

And it's just me in my dreams So I want someone to love, that's what I fucking want "

Song: that's what I want, by Lil nas x

All the ways that you remain by Spodumene (G, 23k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canada, Romance, First Meetings, Cottagecore, There Was Only One Bed, Mention of Parent Death, Getting Together)

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8. itmf fics where wwx hurts lwj (emotionally or physically)

Over the Rotted Bridge by vailkagami (T, 314k, WangXian, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, LWJ dies, Wei Wuxian doesn’t die, neither do (most of) the wens, JYL also lives, Original Character(s), outside pov, YLLZ WWX, Canon Divergence, CQL Verse, Illustrated, Grief/Mourning, Non-Consensual Resurrection, mute LWJ, Hurt LWJ, Slow Burn, canonical death of a child (mentioned), Survivor Guilt, PTSD)

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9. ITMF heavy angst BUT I don't want it to be whump

Twin Demons of Mò by XiaoFeiFei (ArfBarkWoof) (M, 358k, MXY & WWX, wangxian, JL & MXY, XY & MXY, JGY & MXY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Abuse, Death, Twin Demons of Mo AU, MXY Lives, Major Character Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Minor Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Canon Divergence, Self-Harm, Found Family, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, POV Alternating)

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10. ITMF a fic where wwx died in the past and then lwj waits for him to reincarnate and lives into the modern world where they meet again but wwx doesn't remember until later (or its fine if he remembers too )

based on a photo on Pinterest whose link ill paste cos I can't attach photos for some reason in the ask

Thanks again! Ly guys! @maurader--here

All Old Things are New Again by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (M, 51k, WangXian, XuanLi, ChengQing, Reincarnation, Modern AU, canon still happened, extreme post canon, Sugar Daddy, Kink Negotiation, gentle dom!LWJ, canonical levels of consent play, Modern Cultivators)

the recluse at the end of the moonlit path by beesinspades (T, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, Post-Canon, Jack of All Trades Artist WWX, Immortal! LWJ, Mutual Pining, Light Angst, Reunions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Asexual Character, good vibes, [Podfic] the recluse at the end of the moonlit path by b_ofdale by Beria1021)

🧡 We Were Never Strangers by NeverEnoughWangxian (M, 36k, WangXian, Reincarnation, Modern AU, POV WWX, (mostly), College Student WWX, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Immortal LWJ, Immortal LSZ, Dreams, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content)

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11. Hello! Any fics where LWJ is shown to bond with animals?

No specific animal, just that it treats LWJ a bit specially or listens to him etc.

Thank you for your work!

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern AU with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar) it sort of fits bc lwj is in animal rescue & has some powers to make the animals feel calm & safe!

Lan Zhan's University Days (JAFFY) by sami (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, Kinda, cultivated to immortality, University, outsider pov, Wei Wuxian is a chaos gremlin, ridiculous future bullshit wwx vs Local Culture) Sami's Lan Zhan's University Days from ridiculous future bull series. The cows in the farm and in later rfb glimpses with various baby animals

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12. IMTF: I recently finished the WIP “Horseshoes and Hand Grenades” by Phantomhill which was amazing and hilarious. I’m now itmf any fics with the same premise of bringing the original Yiling Patriarch forward into the modern era, preferably without relying on reincarnation for the other characters. Any ships acceptable except self-insert. Thanks! @jensownzoo

结局难更改 (the ending is hard to change) Series by PorcupineGirl (G, 50k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending, Reincarnation, LWJ POV, Established Relationship, Aromantic JC) might fit as it involves WWX ending up in the future instead of falling to his death

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13. Hello all, sorry if this ask is too explicit 😳

I’m looking for fics where Wei Wuxian has a small penis and Lan Wangji has a big one 🍆

Love me some size difference

Thanx in advance

The Damage You Do by stiricide (E, 104k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Dom/Sub, Dark LWJ, Mobster LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Sex Worker WWX, Sugar Baby WWX, WWX adopts LSZ, Dubious Consent, each chapter has sex tag notes on it, BDSM, Sounding, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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14. Do you have Yunmeng bros reconciliation fics that have reverse golden core reveals (wwx finding out about jc getting captured in his place). Angst is fine :)

Thank you!!!! <;3 @twlaei

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15. For the next ITMF can i get fics where LZ plays their song before an audience while wy watches speechless? It could be a recital, it could be a party, it could be a wedding...it just has to have lz playing his heart out for WY while an audience is present.

LZ could be singing or playing any instruments like violin, guqin, piano etc.

For example, drag my teeth across your chest (by ana_cp) - violin. // last part in a FF post ~Mod L @imstillthinkingaboutithmm

Talisman by Witch_Nova221 (M, 192k, WangXian, Modern AU, Eventual Romance, Theatre, Rock Band, Childhood Friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Spousal Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Stalking, Minor Character Death, Friends to Lovers, Orphans, Mutual Pining)

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16. ITMF for...

Fics when either WangXian or any other pairing (bonus if it's a rarepair or the Juniors are involved) are discovered by someone walking in on them? Even more bonus if WangXian are together and it's them walking in on someone! Thank you! @fomalhaut48

I spy by Anonymous (E, 9k, wangxian, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Rough Sex, of the wangxian kind, Pseudo-Incest, is it uuuuh incest if one spies on their adoptive parents, the juniors get more than they bargained for, Blow Jobs, Face-Fucking)

Countless Roads by SunBlueSun (E, 5k, wangxian, Accidental Voyeurism, Switching, Versatile | Switch Wangxian, Porn with Feelings, Minor Original Character(s), Love, hanguang jun has flowers in his hair, POV Outsider)

Friends with Great Benefits by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 15k, wangxian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, First Time, virgins, Voyeurism, Accidental Voyeurism, Semi-accidental voyeurism, WWX's canonical heteronormative assumptions, cutsleeve awakenings, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, (it depends on who you ask))

a new light by museaway (T, 2k, wangxian, Accidental Voyeurism, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, POV Outsider, Canon Compliant)

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17. Itmf wwx is in a slump, depressed, burnt out, breaking down, etc and lwj swoops in with tender loving care to pull him from his slump.

12 Hours In Hell and Paradise (Or: Lan Zhan’s Distinguished Guide to Seasonal Depression) by demonicsalad (T, 4k, wangxian, Modern, Friends to Lovers, Developing Relationship, Mental Health Issues, Neurodiversity, Love Confessions, POV LWJ) Not quite what OP on 17 asked for, it's from LWJ's pov and primarily his struggles, but it is cute fic about both sides of WX battling seasonal depression and comforting each other

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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