#tw suicide idealization

[khaopybara]

❝My wife.❞

LEE SOOHYUK as PARK JOONGGIL and KIM HEESUN as KOO RYEON episode 14 of TOMORROW

[blueshistorysims]

Late July 1925, London, England

“I’d like to go back to Scotland,” Montgomery mused, combing his fingers through Samira’s hair as she laid her head on his bare chest. “Fuckin’ tired of England. I’m ready to go home.”

Samira nodded. “Always wanted to go to Scotland. See the Highlands. That’s where you’re from, right?”

“Aye. North Perthshire, was born near the clan seat before me family moved to Edinburgh when I was ten.” He swallowed. “Would ya like to come with me?”

Samira was quiet. “Leave London society and be a housewife?”

He frowned, sitting as she slipped behind him. “I’d never force ya to do anything ya dinna want to.”

“I know that. …I don’t mind being your mistress—oh, don’t make that face. It’s what I am. Your mistress.”

“Mistress to who?”

“You’re still in love with Edeline.” It wasn’t an accusation. It was a fact. “And I know you’re in love with Byron—even if he doesn’t realize it… or return it. I know you’re not ready to be married again, but I know you love me as well. And I’m content to be your mistress in the meanwhile.”

Montgomery sighed, closing his eyes. “Sometimes I think I’m the most selfish man in the world. I dinna deserve any of this.”

Samira hugged his body tighter. “You’re speaking nonsense. I don’t fuck selfish people. They always focus on themselves and not their lover. You certainly do not.”

He snorted at her bluntness. “...I feel guilty so often. What’d Edeline think of me?”

“Well, would you have acted on your attraction to Byron if she lived?”

“I wasn’t aware I was attracted to him until we met again. Perhaps I’d ‘ve found him attractive but never acted on it. I dinna ken.”

“Then why should you feel guilty?”

“He’s still me brother-in-law.”

“Men marry their dead brother’s wives all the time.”

“That’s different.”

“Is it?”

“I miss her so much,” he whispered. That wasn’t a confession you were supposed to tell your lover. “I was… lost when she died. I dinda know what to do, what the point of livin’ was. …On the first anniversary of her death, I was in Greece, had spent the day in the ruins of the Temple of Poseidon in Sounion. Standin’ on the cliffs, overlooking the ocean… considered jumpin’ off. To be with her. End me misery. In the end, I was uh too much of fuckin’ coward to do it, so I walked back to me hotel room and drank ‘til I passed out. It wasn’t the first time I’d considered suicide. Or the last.” He sighed, sniffling. “I’ve never told anyone that. I’m just… so afraid of bein’ alone.”

Samira rubbed his back gently as he bowed his head, near tears. “You’re not alone. You have your family, friends who care about you, patients who rely on you. And of course, you have me. I have you in my claws, you’re not getting away from me anytime soon,” she added, chuckling. 

Montgomery pulled her into his lap and buried his face in her neck. “I love ya,” he whispered. 

She nodded. “...I’m going to India after Byron and Eleora’s wedding. I think my parents would actually like you considering you hate England, hate the empire, and support the independence of your own nation. You’re everything they would want in a husband for me, except that you’re white and Christian.”

He chuckled.

“I want to show you the real India—you haven’t lived until you’ve tried my Ājī’s Basundi.”

“If ya’ll have me, mo ghràdh.”

[urplepurplegurgleturgle]

Rambling about some sensitive topics (depression, suicide idealization, self-harm) Proceed with caution.

I was talking about how my tumblr family is my only lifeline in my last post and like. It’s true. Val. Tomi. Cin. Phan. Endy. They’re the only people really stopping me from completely ruining and/or ending my life. This post isn’t me trying to pressure them or anything. I just. I don’t think I say it enough, but I really do appreciate all of them. I think if I lost any of them I don’t know what I would do. Maybe getting attached to people online isn’t the safest thing, but I genuinely do love all of them so much. Each in their own different way. I’m not the best with words, and a lot of the times I feel like I’m too blunt or not emotional enough (especially when someone’s venting: I’m VERY solution oriented and I usually try to give advice instead of comfort 😓), but I just want to say I love all of them so. SO much. I’ll admit that I’m actually avoiding the kitchen nowadays because whenever I hold the knife to cut up ingredients, my brain almost always thinks about either cutting my skin or just straight up stabbing myself. I… actually do harm myself in several different ways. Starving myself, banging my head on the table until it bruises, even clutching my throat until I’m about to pass out just to feel the sensation of being near death. But I stop myself from going further. I stop myself from actually choking myself to death or slitting my throat or running into the middle of the street solely because I think about what the gang would do if I suddenly disappeared. I think about how I would never get to hang out with Cin and Tomi, how I wouldn’t be able to maybe attend Phan and Endys’ wedding, how I wouldn’t be able to hold Val close to me. And I don’t think I could handle not experiencing those things. I might care about them a little too much, but I suppose it’s a good thing. Because it’s stopping me from doing anything too rash. Unfortunately my mental state is still rotting in the gutters, but at least I’m trying not to make it worse. I want to get better for them. I don’t give a single shit about myself, but I would do anything for them. And honestly I’m. Grateful for that. I’m grateful that they haven’t pushed me away or rejected me. I’m grateful they consider me their family and talk to me and think I’m somewhat worth being around. I’m grateful they deal with my bullshit and listen to me ramble. Because that - THEY give me some form of happiness in my life. They motivate me to get through the day. They’ve saved me from going down a spiral countless times. And. I don’t deserve them. But I’m glad they’re here.

[maideninorange]

On a quiet night, Olimar decided to try and read back through his voyage log.

On a quiet night, the Leader finds himself pondering his relationship with the garden.

Another long night, another installment of "To Be (One with the Garden)" because they're fun. Now with more existential crisis!

(Warnings this time are: Transformation/Body Horror, Depression, and Suicide Idealization. Be careful if those things are triggering for ya.)

[dreams-of-fate]

💀 me, rly struggling not to make a bai.liu x queen of hearts edit to

"At least I had the decency To keep my nights out of sight Only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs And my whispered sighs Oh, Lord, I think about jumpin' Off of very tall somethings Just to see you come runnin' And say the one thing I've been wanting, but no"

I have no stock here other than this will ruIN MY LIFE WHEN I GET THERE.

[touchoffleece]

For @shera-dnd ; who beckoned a Suletta Angsty-Emo Phase into the Fanon Universe after Ep 17

post in question:

I do not mean to imply Miorine is as bad as the bride from "I write sins not tragedies" but the idea of Suletta blasting that song while sulking came to me and wouldn't leave me alone. I totally see these being selfies posted to a G Witch Social Media from Suletta; probably from a account named 'MoveFrwdGain2' as an additional head-canon note.

and a last minute but fitting change to the pose, and an alt caption after remembering the episode where Miorine scolds Suletta that slouching is unbefitting of the bearer of the Groom title, or something along those lines.

Textless images:

[mjrmalfunct1on]

Stay (A short story)

She knew this was going to happen. In the thousands of timelines she'd examined every one ended in genocide - the total destruction of the human race.

She'd tried over and over again to prevent the mass extinction but it seemed that no matter what she did, death was inevitable.

How cruel the universe was to gift her this power, the ability to see all outcomes, but not the ability to do anything about them.

All she could do was try again- erase herself from the current timeline once more and hope that she landed in the one that would let her change things.

With a deep breath she approached the edge of the cliff.

A tumultuous ocean greeted her from hundreds of feet below. The gray and white waves demanded she join them with a thunderous chorus.

Bracing herself she raised her arms and closed her eyes.

"Wait," a small voice spoke up behind her, "wait for me, please."

She opened her eyes to see the owner of the voice approach her.

They were small and scrawny, their clothes raggedy and hair a tangled mess of wild strawberry blonde strands. They were just a child.

A child she failed to help.

"What are you doing?" She asked, voice tired and apathetic.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" They asked, not pulling their eyes away from the swell below.

"Yes, I am."

"I'm going with you." Their voice, although still small and quiet was resolute.

"Kid, you can't follow me." She sighed.

"Why not? There's nothing left for me here."

"Yes, there is," she was lying - the kid really did have nothing here except for themself.

"No, there isn't. You're the only person I care about here. If you leave, why should I stay?"

"Because I'm not worth throwing your life away over." She couldn't help but snap a little, the apathy replaced by a twinge of annoyance.

"What life?" The kid huffed. "I spend every day scrounging for my next meal and hoping I don't get nabbed in my sleep."

"You're young, this isn't what it's going to be like forever."

"And how do you know that?"

She was quiet for a moment. The ocean wind screamed in her ears, making it harder to think.

"I don't..." she finally sighed, "I'm just hoping it will change for you."

"Well," the kid began after a beat, "I'm hoping things will change for you too." Their hand found hers. Her heart grew heavy, dropping into her stomach.

Before her eyes she saw a flash of white and her body plunging into the swell while cradling that of the kid's. The kid wouldn't survive the fall. Neither would she but she would be pulled further down until she was sucked through another crack in the fabric of reality and spat back out somewhere else.

But the kid's body would stay there, trapped in the merciless hold of the ocean's torrent.

"Are you ready to go?" the kid asked, breaking into the morbid image playing through her mind.

She looked to her side where the kid was still staring out to the sea.

She couldn't let them follow her.

She sat down. "Why don't we just sit here for awhile, see if the ocean doesn't calm down."

By MJ

[igarape-vermelho]

just break my neck in half already.... like... c'mon...

how can you not be real...

[madnessismylover]

Tw: negative

Wish you could like... sue your depressed for all the time and money it costs to take care of it and anything else that results from it.

I never wanted depression so why do I need to pay for the things that make me not want to off myself? (Pills/therapy/etc.)

For the rest of my life I'll need to pay for the things that are gonna keep me alive because of something I cannot control. I can't just tell my brain 'hey, work properly so we don't wanna fucking die'

If I hadn't been depressed in school I would've planned ahead, I would have been better than where I am today.

I never thought I'd get to 18 and I'm gonna be 26 in April. I don't blame past me because they weren't doing well. Unmedicated. I don't wanna go back to that. It was scary. Actively thinking it's easier to die is fucking terrifying.

Living is so fucking expensive.

[the-bee-graveyard]

Cw for slight suicidal ideation

I had really bad nightmares about being abandoned unwanted and unloved, not to mention one about my ex toxic friend/abuser and on top of that two of my irl friends still haven't wished me a happy birthday and I just feel like shit and I kinda wanna die.

I just need someone to tell me I matter. That they care about me.

I love you and I care about you and you matter to me. You always will.

I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. I know there’s not much I can do to help you, but if there’s anything I can do you can always reach out to me ❤️.

I’m sorry your irl friends didn’t reach out for your birthday. You deserve better ❤️❤️❤️ (have an extra happy birthday from me. Happy birthday!)

Just know you’re not unwanted. You’re not unloved. I love you and I want you to be happy and well. And if people don’t value you and don’t give you the love you deserve they’re not worth your time anyways.

[purplecladmerchant]

Following toughts of recent babbles:

Some Fia&Zirk relationship around that. Idk I think this is more au-ish than anything but you don't pay me and I want to babble scenarios

It's known for the people close to him that he's not necessarily in active suicide risk. But he's not completely free of that. The self harm may be restricted to picking skin or hitting his head or being "silly" and "forget to take care"but it doesn't stop being self harm.

After bearding for her, Fia would stay close because, even if the big panic attacks and bulimic reactions are like the worst case scenario, it's a possible scenario. Usually he just end exhausted and need sleep, but she will stay anyway because he's her beastie and she loves him too and she knows he harming himself is in the realm of possibilities. She have found in the past very alarming.... notes. He have written. And is a bit nervouseverytime he goes on a bit of spiral of anxiety. There is a respect of space and silent understanding but it also it's an understanding that she will stand there and hold him down by force if needed.

Usually not needed. Just a lot of cuddles and he would go to get them and lay on her chest to get reassurance that someone loves him. Knows she knows and doesn't talk about it so he's silently thankful he can low hus guard and let her be big and scary and protect him of his own toughts.

[blueshistorysims]

warning for today's post

hello y'all—i'll be posting today's story post later than i normally do bc there is frank discussion about depression and suicide idealization. take care and stay safe :)

[braedenhales]

TEEN WOLF MEME [6/8] SCENES ⟹ "MOTEL CALIFORNIA" [3x06]

[bubblespalace]

Hiiii!! I hope ur day is going good !! („• ֊ •„) I really really hope I’m requesting in the right spot (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) Anyways, can you do how the Sakamaki brothers would react to falling deeply in love with someone who is dying and there is no way to prevent it? Take ur time ofc and if there is a character limit and I just didn’t see it you can just choose randomly if you’d like !! Hope u have a good week !! (⌒▽⌒)♡

Bubble: I absolutely love angsty asks so ofc!! Thank you for the love, know I am sending positive energy back! I wanted to make this accurate, so I do mention suicide. Please note, I am not trying to idealize anything. I have struggled with this. But this is how a select few boys would actually think.

Trigger Warning

"Even if it's not something I can prevent, I'll stay. Until your end, I promise. I have never, ever, felt as though I need someone so much... I'd be willing to go after you, if that's what you'd want."

"I refuse to believe there isn't a cure to this. I shall search day and night, no rest. You will not be leaving me... Not when I'm accustomed to you the way I am."

"I'm not allowing what's mine to leave me, chichinashi. I'll get that Tableware Otaku to come up with something!"

"I don't want you to ever leave. Why must I have the most unfortunate luck, to fall in love with the one dolly I can never keep. You must promise to not leave me entirely, please. I love you too much..."

"I'll spend as much time with you as I can, Bitc- ...Y/N. I won't let you have a single bad memory during this time. I'll give you everything, even during your last moments... Why do I have to lose you when I finally have you to care?"

"I don't... I won't be able to go on without you, you know. I'll be dead the moment you die anyway... Just hold on, for as long as possible. For me, please."

[dreams-of-fate]

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar They're worth so much more after I'm a goner And maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singin' Funny when you're dead, how people start listenin'

[starwrighter]

I have a cold and that’s scarier than anything I could write this October. Tw suicidal idealizations

So! 3/??? Halloween prompt.

Danny is in Gotham because his sister was invited to tour some prestigious school in Gotham because of how smart she is. Danny’s not resentful, truly he isn’t. He’s proud of her. He’s happier for her than he’s ever been for anyway. It’s just… Hard knowing the future his death stole from him.

Seeing his sister succeed while he still has to fight to keep what little remained of his life is bittersweet. He’d never say any of this out loud because he loves her and she’s one of the only people he can truly count on to support him.

After a few days in Gotham with all these bitter and depressing thoughts Danny start to believe that he needs to die. He doesn’t want to kill himself he just… Wants to not be Fenton or phantom anymore. He doesn’t want be the stupid failure of a kid in a family full of geniuses. He doesn’t want to be seen as a villain or hunted for trying to help people. He’s just so, so so so tired and just want’s to not deal with any of this anymore.

Danny goes ghost for the first time since entering this city. Sitting on a roof with his head tucked in between his legs. When he hears someone drop behind him going on this whole spiel on “Not jumping,” it strikes him as odd because the usual response to seeing phantom is anything but compassion. Danny waves the guy off with a mournful smile and a reassurance of “I think you’re a bit too late to save my life, most that’d happen now is me phasing through the core of the earth”

The guy sits next to him, shocked when his attempts of patting Danny’s shoulder passes right through. Danny can’t help but snicker. “Don’t worry about me I’m still new to the whole ghost thing,” he looks disturbed at Danny’s response but not in the way people usually did when they saw phantom. He introduces himself as nightwing and Danny finally recognizes him as one of Gotham’s vigilantes.

“How do you do it?” The question spills out of his mouth bitterness leaking into his words. Nightwing looks confused.

“Everyone loves you guys, everyone trust’s you,” his eyes water as he speaks

“No matter how many people I save, how many buildings I stop from collapsing and criminals I stop, they still paint me as this monstrous villain,”

“I can’t believe I died for this shit,” Danny scowls, Nightwing is speechless. Danny then decides that he doesn’t want to be turned in to the GIW by a vigilante and dips.

Dick and the entire fam who were listening to the entire encounter are horrified because apparently there is a child who fucking died being a vigilante and people are attacking for it?! They make the connection with the ghost dick talked to and phantom but not the connection between phantom and Danny Fenton. Danny is very confused when the entire justice league comes down on amity park the moment they get home.