#tw: aggression

[ask-sebastian]

Dear Sebastian I thank you for your quick reply to my previous owl. My friend would love your perspective. She and her boyfriend have been together for over 5 years, but lately she's been telling me that he's been having more and more violent outbursts about small things (e.g. things in their house not working immediately makes him hit walls/doors). When she tells him that it scares her, he tells her that she's overreacting. She's just wondering if she's really overreacting and would love to hear a guy's perspective. We thank you in advance. Wishing you all the best, Gabrielle

Response behind the cut (sensitive themes; trigger warnings in the tags)

Gabrielle,

I shall preface my response with a reminder that I am not a behavioural specialist or in any way professionally qualified to dispense advice. Everything I say should be taken as simply outside perspective.

Firstly, it pains me to hear of your friend's situation. It is one in which no one wishes to find themselves. Please extend my most heartfelt sympathies (and perhaps a hug or a hundred if needed).

A small comfort though it may be to hear it, your friend is absolutely not overreacting. His behaviour is neither normal nor healthy, and she's rightly unsettled by the unprovoked aggression. Her feelings are completely valid, and I applaud her courage in speaking up and setting boundaries. It is not always an easy thing to do in such circumstances.

In the plainest terms, he is gaslighting her down the road of abuse -- whether it be mental/emotional/physical or all of the above. I don't like to speak in absolutes, but if he is already lashing out at his surroundings with physical violence, I would say there is considerable risk of his behaviour escalating to worse.

As far as why he is behaving the way he is, I cannot say. Typically such reactionary behaviour has absolutely nothing to do with whatever triggers the anger in the moment and is rather due to other (often unrelated) underlying issues.

None of which are your friend's responsibility to manage.

Though I know that not everyone has easy access to it, he should seek professional help to work through his issues if he is unable to do so himself. He -- he alone -- is responsible for managing and controlling his emotions and behaviour. It is the bare minimum for human decency. Sadly, if he is already dismissing her feelings and blaming his reactions on her, I hold little hope that he will be open to the suggestion of therapy.

This is very much my personal opinion, but I would discourage anyone in this kind of situation from attempting to "stick it out" in hopes that it gets better over time. Life has taught me that people like this rarely ever change unless they truly see the damage they inflict and actively want to break the cycle. Even then, she is in no way obligated to see him through that process.

Five years is a considerable time and I do not wish to minimise the complicated nature of the situation. It is always easy to tell someone to leave or remove themselves, but I recognise and respect that it is rarely that simple in actuality.

That said, her safety is of the utmost importance and it is a good idea to consider how best to go about securing it. That is unfortunately harder for me to advise on as I am not privy to all the details, but I would urge her to proceed with caution -- especially if she chooses to leave. That is often the most dangerous time with someone prone to violence as they can become quite unpredictable.

I wish I could do more to help or offer better advice, but please do not hesitate to reach out if you or your friend need support. Even just for a sympathetic ear. My DMs are open and I can be reached here on Tumblr or on Discord (asksebastianontumblr) if you or your friend would like to get in touch privately.

All my love, Sebastian

[punishing-eden]

What makes them go mad...

Pgr bois angry headcanons

What pushes the contruct's buttons, or, things that gives them a small M.I.N.D Deviation.

⚠️Tw: Aggressive behaviour, physical contact when angry, self hatred⚠️

Lee (Palefire/ Entropy)

Kamui

Lee is a construct that runs on logic and factual statements. So, if there are things that runs, just a little off, he would get annoyed.

Like the time when both of you were watching a movie during Valentines. Lee legit got upset over the running time being one minute less. (I don't make the rules, Kuro did)

You can try to test his patience by telling him untrue facts or data insisting they are correct.

Lee would not back down from that, "Agree to disagree..." or "Sorry, but I simply don't see how......"

Gets even more annoyed and irratated if you drag Kamui into the conversation. It's two verse one.

When Lee has enough of this argument and your childish attitude, he would excuse himself. "Anyway, this isn't something worth fighting over..." and turns to leave.

He doesn't see the point in continuing, especially if you are so insisted on that fact. It's pointless.

Kamui (Tenebrion)

Kamui doesn't strike as a person to act aggressive towards others.

He would express his anger in a more subtle way.

If you were to think it's fun to annoy him, Kamui doesn't bite, but rather tells you off in a passive aggressive way.

"If you are going to do this others, make sure to noted that other will do the same to you some day. So, don't cry when that happens, okay?" ヾ(о-ω･)ﾉ⌒★

Or, something like, "You really are quite annoying today."

But if you were to really push it and proceed to use him as the butt of a joke, he would straight up tell you, "That's not cool." and gets a little distant from you.

Camu (Crottota)

You better not do anything to make him mad. He barks and he bites.

He likes to be independant, so if you were to restrict his freedom, he get's hella annoyed.

Once he is annoyed, his mood plummets and at this point you are walking on eggshells.

When you comment on his tardiness, he would click his tongue and tried to shut you off.

When your nagging falls on deaf ears, you reach out to fix his head scarf, and that just triggers him.

Would 100% not heasitate get physical. Camu grabs your hand, tightly, before you can touch him, and push away.

Of course another thing that get's him to loose his cool, would be his insecurities of being a compositor.

Of you mention something about his current state and he misinterpreted that...

He grabs your shirt and pull you towards him. He growls, "You say that again?"

Chrome (Archlight)

Would it be a surprise to find when Chrome gets angry, he gets angry at himself? Even if he is mad at others, it would usually be very short lived.

He spend so much time and brain/mind power to make a flawless plan only for it to backfire or some unforseen factor ruined it.

Chrome would be angry at himself for not doing his job properly.

He would be devasted if you are the cost of the failure.

After the failed mission, he will be responsible and own up to his mistakes, even if it couldn't be helped in the first place.

If someone mentions about his failures, or how "he got you injured", it hits Chrome in a sore spot. But he won't fight back or make a rebuttal.

Keeps his head down and works even harder to not let the same thing happen again.

Changyu (Qilin)

Being new to Babylonia, Changyu would have felt a little unfamiliar with the place.

This is especially when he has to abide to a certain set of rules, militarily. He no longer can have a carefree lifestyle like the one in Akidilek.

Would, at first, find the rule reinforcing annoying. But, still abide, because it is a small cost for great living conditions.

But when the rules starts to become a big set back for him, Changyu gets frustrated. Such as, if his friends are in trouble.

"Commandant, please let me come with you!"

If you try to reinforce the rules onto him again, he would get really angry and just walk off to somewhere ignoring your calls.

He needs to blow off some steam before he can talk to you again.

Watanabe (Astral/Nightblade)

It's Babylonia and its higher ups. What more is there to say?

After everything he had been through, he would get mad if, you sided completely with Hassen or Nikola.

Watanabe's trust level with you would drop.

He puts his family, The Forsaken, first so if anything happens to them... It's war.

For you to jeopardise his family, he's not willing to let you do that.

Another thing that would annoy Watanabe is, if you try to get him talk about his issue with Babylonia.

You bet, you are stepping into a landmind.

He would warn you not to tread further with this conversation. But, if you insist. He would give up and give you a vague answer.

He gives you an angry look and march away. Just don't expect he would give you a warm welcome when you visit The Forsaken.

[mintyhootax]

So here's the thing, my brain is shit and literally the only thing that is helping me get words on the page right now is ai writing. I was starting to get some self-harming thoughts for a while tonight because I felt trapped in my own head and utterly useless calling myself a writer.

So you know what? I'm not sorry if an ai program is the only way for me to be productive right now. I'm in self-preservation mode and if you don't like it, you can fuck off.

[ritterintahlia]

Am Sonntag, 21. Januar zu Ende gelesen: House of Salt and Sorrows von Erin A. Craig

WARNING: MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL

MENTIONS OF OCCASIONAL DRUNKARD BEING AGGRESSIVE (THE FATHER AROUND PAGE 200)

[really-fucked-up-stimboards]

Ankle biter dog Stimboard

[onesidedradiostatic]

can we talk about how the weirdest part of staticmoth isn't even the fact that they're toxic to each other?

it's how they both react to each other's toxicity with nonchalance.

like. first, during val's tantrum, val throws a glass at vox, or well, in his vicinity.

then vox just... steps away like it's nobody's business, barely bothered by it.

and later, when it's vox's turn to be angry, he roughly pulls val down, shakes him, and shouts at his face.

then val just... shrugs it off.

usually when you think of a toxic relationship, you'd probably think of person A being toxic to person B then person B biting back just as toxic until it's a back and forth of toxicity, a full-blown fight.

but that. that's not staticmoth. staticmoth is fucking weird in that when one is acting toxic towards the other, the other acts nonchalant and doesn't retaliate. then they switch roles on who the toxic one is and who the nonchalant one is.

I am not at all denying the toxicity in their relationship, but they certainly are a really fucking weird brand of toxic that is just. so hard to describe.

[very-small-giant]

teeth and claws

[trivia-sea]

Милый

[loverboybreakdowns]

ppl will say “i hate being seen with you in public because you stand funny and wear your headphones all the time and talk too loud” and then get all defensive when you say thats ableist

[strayklds]

[zu-is-here]

in a messy poster mood cause bang bang ♪

[seonghwacore]

another seonghwa gifset because i posted "idek seonghwa but i miss him" and luna told me she got a pop notif from him just right when she's reading my post

[medicalunprofessional]

play dentist

[citricacidprince]

Y'all need to be fucking nicer to men/masc queers

I was talking to an old friend/short lived boyfriend from highschool and the topic of sexualities came up. He identified as bisexual throughout highschool but told me that recently he doesn't know what he was and just preferred to remain 'unlabeled' until he figured it out. I told him to his face "thats valid man and being unlabeled doesn't make you any less queer than when you were labeled"

God you should've seen his fucking face, he looked so happy and also like he was about to goddamn cry. He told me that no one ever told him that. That he tried to join queer spaces but they said he didn't fit in cause he wasn't 'gay' enough. Told me that I was the first person to ever confidently tell him he was queer and that he didn't need to change himself to 'fit in'.

I gave my friend one of my mini pride flags I had lying around and the dopey grin he had on his face while waving that thing around for the rest of the night made me smile too. When he finally went home he thanked me for the flag and for reassuring him when he felt insecure for 'not being gay enough'.

I want y'all to know that whole time he telling me about people not accepting him for "not looking queer" made me fucking pissed. Oh, because he's not petite, feminine, and white he can't be queer? Because he doesn't look like a fashionable and conventionally pretty gay on you'd find on your TikTok homepage he can't be queer?

THIS ISN'T EVEN THE FIRST TIME I'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION WITH A FRIEND BEFORE

In highschool I had ANOTHER friend who had this same problem but in a different font. He liked cute things, he liked flowing fabrics and skirts, he even liked being called princess! But because he was fat and not conventionally attractive he felt like he couldn't be queer. Because from what he saw, queer people don't look like him.

If you're one of those people who would gatekeep ANYONE who doesn't fit into your Pinterest board ideal version of queer from the LGBTQ+ community, you can fuck right off because anyone who would just shut of someone out of our community for something so petty and dumb and ignorant doesn't deserve the keys to the fucking door in the first place.

Start treating people who don't fit into your saturated and commercialized view of queer with more respect and kindness before I start biting off your fucking arms

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Those are some weird lookin dogs, gotta be honest

[sleepis4theweak]

I just saw your post on Mikey doing angry stimms and had to ask for more /nf since this is the first time I've seen someone draw angry stimms for a character (it's not that common from my perspective)

Thank you- love your artstyle so much!!! :D

(P.s. I also get angry stimmys too sometimes)

Aww- thank you so much for this ask! I am really, really happy you liked it!! And yeah I feel like angry stims aren't talked about as much...

Anyways I was really super excited to draw more- still using stims that I have done, though these are a little more uh... aggressive? I wanted to preface this by saying that I do these gently, or they are stims that I've replaced with something else hehe :)

For my angry stims a lot of it is based on frustration so it's kinda a lot of flailing? Like aggressive shaking. The biting one isn't something I've done in a while- and is one that I would try to do gently (would not recommend that one lol), and the punching of the thigh is something I tend to do (gently) when I'm hella frustrated with homework :)