#twink blurbs

[triplesilverstar]

Glowing

Vash X Reader Smut

Rating: Explicit 18+ Minors DNI

Pairing Vash X f!Reader

CW: Oral sex, Cunilingus, Soft Knives, Fingering, Tongue fixation, Plant Markings, Glowing, Sappy

Word count: 341

A/N this was totally inspired by this lovely work by Skai Check it out here! You can also check out the companion piece for a Knives blurb based on the same art work.

Looking down you swallow hard, the low glow pulling you from the haze of arousal that came from Vash sucking on your clit, his eyes might be closed but the look of rapture on his face almost makes you cum on that tongue inside your walls anyway. The lines of his plant markings lighting up the dingy room of the inn that the two of you were staying in. 

“Vash.” Softly calling his name and watching those expressive blue eyes open, backlit by his unique biology making them seem almost pearly in comparison. 

“You ok Mayfly?” Licking his lips as his husky voice makes you moan, a heady mix of delirious pleasure knowing his voice sounds like that because of the things he’s been doing to you. It doesn’t help that the small part of his tongue that you saw was also covered in those same blue lines. 

“You’re glowing Baby.” Smiling as you watch him, a hand reaching out to cup his cheek tenderly as a hint of pink grows across his nose as he gives you a shy grin in return as he looks at his bare arm and sees the lines. 

“I guess they show up when I’m really happy too.” Both of you chuckle as you pull him up to kiss him squarely on the lips not caring that you can taste your own juices on him, tongue sliding across his and when you break you notice how he seems brighter. You don’t say anything as Vash wiggles down to return to swirling his tongue in your moist heat, sighing at the pleasure. 

His nose bumping into your clit as he keepings moving his glowing tongue inside your walls, humming so his lips are vibrating against your pussy and slipping his fingers inside to curl against your G spot.

Your first orgasm of the night as Vash keeps humming, the glow along his body growing as he enjoys lapping at the wetness pouring from between your legs. A sweetness he can never seem to get enough of. 

[goodnight-whore]

How am I supposed to find Beel in a suit hot

When this is the only thing I can see

[s1mpactafterhours]

ok so i did a variation of this over on the sfw genshin main BUT i also wanted to make a filthy version too bc like my brain's been wandering- but anyway.. hear me out 🗣👏🏻

al-haitham coming home and barging into his housemate's room to tell him something or ask about something (etc etc) and accidentally walking in on kaveh absolutely plowing you, like you're both going at it hard until you suddenly hear the door open. (kaveh had assured you he wasn't supposed to be home until much, much later!) and so you're just desperately trying to cover up or hide or something, anything- but kaveh's noticed the way al-haitham looks at you, even if the man himself has no idea yet, so he just keeps going at it, witness be damned. al-haitham makes some offhand remark about how neither of you have any decency, but if he weren't wearing those damned headphone looking contraptions you'd be able to see just how red his ears were.

this is unfortunately how he begins to come to terms with his attraction to you, and unknowingly begins his learnings of the ways of heartache. kaveh pays this no mind, feeling that he's finally got the upper hand on his smart ass, seemingly unshakeable housemate. he's on a mission to make you scream his name, as many times as possible, as loud as possible. at some point, though neither of you hear it, al-haitham just ends up slamming the door on his way out, leaving to go to the library or literally anywhere else.... but not before guiltily rubbing one out. you two provided the perfect background noises he never knew he needed, but more importantly, it was your moans that were driving him insane. how would you sound screaming out his name all night long instead?

so off he goes to busy himself with work, so much work, so much that he ends up taking on extra work just to distract himself from the honeymoon phase you're both in, and the way kaveh just can't seem to stop showing you off in front of him. he can already tell the latter is doing so on purpose, but he refuses to let the blonde get the better of him. you're aware that something is going on, but attribute it to their weird relationship and how they're just always fighting.. though it has been awfully quiet lately, and you're starting to get suspicious. kaveh is quick to assure you that al-haitham is just very busy with work, and he's even quicker to get handsy with you. cuddles while he works on his projects, hands on across your shoulders or thighs at dinner, all the nights you two fuck your stress out before collapsing together in bed.. you're far too entranced by your seemingly sickly sweet lover to see through the haze, but it's always harder to think straight when you're getting your back blown out (or blowing him out-) ..and so, you don't.

and even as al-haitham has time to get himself back together, he can't help but wonder if maybe things would have turned out differently had he been more aware of his own feelings. if he had asked you out first, would that be how the both of you would be now? or had you always only had eyes for kaveh? the questions that used to keep him up at night become mindless chatter as he tries (and fails) to block you both out on the other side of unfortunately thin walls. but life goes on, and so does your relationship, and before you all know it, you're making plans to move in together, to share your lives together, and suddenly al-haitham finally knows what loneliness feels like.. all alone in a house that used to house shenanigans for three. he's not sure if he'll bother looking for a new roommate now that he's been promoted, but sometimes he can't help but wish he could share the news with you both, and how he misses your antics and smile and.... he belatedly begins to realize he misses kaveh too. in which a new set of questions unlocks thoughts he'd never even considered... had he harbored feelings for you all this time, or was he instead projecting because he was jealous... and falling in love with his own roommate all this time?

[aprillikesthings]

in which I am a petty bitch

There's all these women on youtube and tiktok who talk about interests of mine like ADHD and historical costuming and fiber arts and I know some of them make a living off their content by now, but every time they mention their husbands etc. part of me assumes it's a situation where her share of the household income is like, part-time job level, and he's the one actually footing the bills behind the scenes for things like their house.

I know, I know. If you get a big enough following, making online content can actually pay a LOT now, especially when people diversify it a lot--youtube and tiktok and patreon, doing ads in their videos, etc.

And I also know that the reason I am Suspicious is because of The Toast--I assumed the folks running it were like, maaaaybe middle-class. But after The Toast closed and Nicole Cliff started posting in other places I realized--her and her husband are actually rich as fuck, and as far as I can tell the money is from her husband. A huge home in suburban Utah, horses, she has a favorite aesthetician and gets botox and just...yeah it's not so bad to run the kind of site that will never entirely pay for itself (The Toast was never going to make anyone wealthy lol) when you're not worried about what you'll do if it doesn't.

And I'm not saying I don't think she should've started The Toast! It was an amazing website with articles I *still* sometimes link to people, even though all the cultural references are dated now, and at least half the images aren't working. The Toast paid their writers, and that allowed them to publish a shit-ton of amazing content.

But it always felt (to me!) like she portrayed herself as the kind of city-dwelling nerdy feminist librarian type that was a lot of The Toast's readership...not someone in a McMansion.

And there's some folks on youtube where I'm just....you do not have a high enough follower count on this incredibly niche material for you to be paying for that nice place I see in the background of your videos, plus all the cameras and lighting and mics and editing software.

It must be nice, to have that kind of financial freedom. And I'm glad their spouses are willing to support them like that.

But I wonder how many possible content creators are out there whose amazing stuff we'll never see because they're too busy trying to pay rent.

[kagedbird]

Allora and Lucien talking really fast together about the geological differences between Earth and Nirn:

Taliesin leaning over to Inigo: Do you understand a word they're saying

Inigo, leaning over to Taliesin comically close: No. But I do know they are having a good time. They'll stop in an hour or so.

Taliesin, bored out of his mind and hungry, wanting to get food: An hour?! Why that's much too long. We'll be having leftovers at the nearest tavern by that rate.

Kaidan: There's an easy way to fix that. Watch.

Kaidan walks over to the two and gently takes Allora's hand. There's a pause in conversation to look at him, but he merely threads their fingers together and starts walking. Allora allows this and gives Kaidan's hand a squeeze before asking Lucien where they left off before they start up again.

Taliesin, dryly: I suppose that Is a simplistic way of doing it, yes.

Inigo, following after them: Sometimes the simplistic way of doing things in life is the correct choice, my friend.

[chocoenvy]

Spoilers for inazuma archon quest

It’s the middle of the night and it’s starting to sink in that signoras dead… like omfg she was so pretty SHE WAS SO PRETTY AND HOT AND AMAZING AND AND AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA please tell me she’s still alive hoyoverse please IM LITERALLY GOING THROUGH THE FIVE STAGSS OF GRIEF HELP SHE WAS TOO HOT TO DIE

[kakabelorias]

I like blondes! It's not my fault they all happen to be twinks!

Random lil headcanon blurb for each one bc im foaming at the mouth to share my simping of them with everyone

Lucifer would probably like to wear matching duckling onesies as you have a nice night in one of those pinterest fairy light blanket forts.

Tom would turn his dressing room into a room dedicated to your likes and tastes so you can stay comfortable in there while he works.

Peter would wrap his wings around you whenever you hug and cuddle-they tend to spread out a little when he's really happy.

Lastly, I think they'd all cry in your arms for various reasons. Maybe he just really loves you and is being over dramatic about it. Maybe he's had a rough day and your embrace brings down his walls. Maybe he learned of the exterminations and it's a lot for him to handle.

oh and also they're all definitely switches but are very subby bottoms lmao i dont make the rules, okay?

[literalite]

character/story influences tag

rules: write up a blurb or make a visual collage of the people or characters (from books, TV shows, movies, etc.) that inspired your story and/or OC, either visually, personality wise, or just a general vibe

thanks for the tag @tricoufamily :DD i am tagging @gunthermunch @lucidicer @itsmariejanel @orphyd @goldenwaves this is FUN u should do it. thank u

medias/characters meet me in the woods: man in the dark (paul auster), orlando (virginia woolf), lord huron's entire discography, specifically meet me in the woods and the ghost on the shore, the godfather 1972 (barely), age of adaline 2015, the old guard 2020, this specific cc cross, and reading homer's the iliad in my final year of high school. somehow don't go where i can't follow: the raven cycle (maggie stiefvater), his dark materials (philip pullman), adventure time 2010-2018, mitski’s bury me at makeout creek album, next of kin by alvvays, bite the hand by boygenius, matilda (roald dahl) (jokingly), horrible no good homoerotic teenage friendships, the chosen one trope, and this post by tumblr user @/louisegluckpdf. also my life which explains why the aesthetic is completely disjointed RIP violent affairs (with @lucidicer): nbc hannibal, bones and all 2022, arachnids, ethel cain’s preacher's daughter, sir chloe’s i am the dog album, mine and olli's deranged combined mental energies mutually focusing on t4t cannibalism  vinny reign: matt murdock (netflix daredevil), joel miller (tlou), the fallen angel painting by alexandre cabanel, caravaggio paintings, catholic guilt, arsonist’s lullabye by hozier caleb vatore: those italian twinks that renaissance artists kept referencing to paint religious figures, dorian gray, orlando, timothee chalamet (LMAO), the reveal that the noo don’t kill yourself you’re so sexy guy is a twink [redacted] morrow: gojo satoru, howl pendragon (studio ghibli), jay gatsby, kageyama shigeo and also a bit of reigen arataka (mp100), ronan lynch and gansey (the raven cycle), eden's entire discography, birdcage by novo amor, mercy by sir chloe, myself ophelia griffin: ophelia painting by john everett millais, blue sargent (the raven cycle), clairo, phoebe bridger's discography, strawberry blonde and your best american girl by mitski, clairo’s immunity album, the first crush i ever had manny pluto: yotasuke takahashi (blue period), tbh a lot of blue period in general, alhaitham (genshin impact), adam parrish (the raven cycle), a hint of geto suguru, working for the knife by mitski nayef al karim: spiders, abel AND cain, julian slowik (the menu 2022), hannibal lecter (yes obvious i know but moreso the focus on fine dining as opposed to the psychology), stewy hosseini (succession), inbred by ethel cain

[voxisdaddy]

This is what I have in the works currently and am hoping to post within the next week;

Notes: NSFW Material ahead!!!

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Saint Peter x Reader SMUT

In which reader cockwarms him.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Various Hazbin Hotel/Striker HEADCANONS/NSFW

In which Dom and Sub roles are switched around.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Velvette x Reader HEADCANONS + DRABBLE/ANGSTY

In which we see how Velvette deals with your guys break up

An imagine or two might pop out but that’s mainly bc those take me like 20 minutes to write them and it’s really only supposed to be a lil blurb imagine so yeah lol

Also thank you for the surprising amount of love on the Saint Peter NSFW Alphabet! It was purely a self indulgent so seeing the amount of notes it got made me really happy! Like please, let’s destroy this angel twink in bed pls lolol

TMI STUFF

Why so much NSFW content this week? Bc I’m on my period and I get horny on my period and smut is how I deal with it lmaoo

[hellmersy]

More "Soap is like... 23..." blurbs bc that first post was pretty popular all things considered.

Soap listens almost exclusively to Niki Minaj, Doja Cat, Ashniiko, Kim Petras and Charlie XCX.

The 141 is at their wits end.

Ghost is constantly horny because Soap is shaking his ass everywhere, Alejandro is horny because every time they visit Rudolfo also begins shaking his ass (with Soap), Price has seen far too many men twerking for it to not have long term effects on his mental health (Gaz joined in once and he nearly had a heart attack).

Valeria has had to suffer through multiple calls about this with Alejandro and Ghost. And it's not like she can do anything, they just call her to rant. She's gone through a lot of wine lately and Dominic is worried for her liver.

Laswell is one part enjoying the chaos, mostly suffering. These men are supposed to be the deadliest combat specialist in the world but by God a few twinks move their hips in back'n'forth and suddenly they're in the fetal position.

Price once took a call from the fucking President of the United States, and the two just sat in silence while "Throat Goat" by Kim Petras played and half a dozen men danced voluptuously in the background before they said "Never mind" and hung up.

[triplesilverstar]

A random blurb about Vash

Rating: Explicit 18+ Minors DNI

Pairing: Vash X F!Reader

CW: Smut, Penis in vagina sex, voyeurism,

Word count: 547

A/N: I wrote this as a crackfic based on the idea of Vash’s long legs and you being wrapped around him while he did it. There's also an image under the divider to go with it.

See below the divider for more

The two of you had been desperate, both horny and while trying to be discrete to get a hotel room to fuck your brains out you’d learned the hotel had no rooms. None of the hotels or inns in town had any openings, some kind of shooting contest slated to start in the next day or two.

So. What’s a horny couple that wants to make sweet music so do? Find a narrow dimly lit space between two buildings and make due.

A short fight with Vash’s pants and those stupid belts that he wore for no reason other than aesthetics and you had his cock bobbing free. Wasting no time yourself as you wiggled your own pants down far enough so you could wrap your legs around his waist and sink down onto his dick. Pushing the fabric of his jacket away as you rode him, watching his face contour in ecstasy.

One hand gripping his shoulder while his gloved fingers were digging into the meat of your ass hard enough that you know you’re going to have bruises for days. Mouths closed over one another as your tongues danced, tasting the beer he’d been drinking.

You were so close as you broke apart, Vash letting out a whine that seemed to echo around.

Except.

It did echo in the small space. Just as your walls fluttered around his hard length and you stilled as your first orgasm took you, a pair of gunslingers saw the two of you.

“Hey, Blondie! How about a turn if you’re done with er!”

“Wait a darn minute! That’s Vash the Stampede!”

Coming back to yourself just in time to hear him yelp, throwing your arms around his neck as his coat flapped around both of you as he ran. Your face burned as he ran through town, and you tried to keep your face buried in his neck from the shame as he ran one hand on your bottom and the other on Peace Bringer.

You. Can. Never. Come. Back. To. This. Town. Ever.

As the bullets rained down on you both you just groaned, partly because of embarrassment and partly because Vash was still rock hard inside your pussy. All the running caused your clit to bump against the part of his pants still tied around his waist, and damn you were closing in on another orgasm.

“Damnit, hold on Mayfly!” Vash yelled through your haze of pleasure as he dropped to one knee, sliding and holding his revolver steady. His front leg slid forward. And the button of his pants hit your clit with enough force to push you over the edge.

While you hear an explosion you aren’t sure if it was your cunt or his gun, just that you slumped forward your head landing beside his foot, and one of your legs still tight around his waist while the other dropped. Moaning as you felt Vash spill himself inside your walls.

“That was not a good time for a chase.” You just moan as Vash surveys how far from the town he ran and the bounty hunter knocked out from him dropping an overhead sign on their head. Looking down at you Vash sighs. “At least one of us was able to enjoy that fuck.”

[ramblingkat]

Someone reblogged my last post and tagged how lame it was. That amused me, because I looked at their blog and all I could think is they feel young. Not in a bad way. Just maybe young enough that they are enjoying the benefits of something like Night Vale existing without realizing just how much it did change culture for a lot of us sad nerdy sorts.

Night Vale itself grew from older roots, yes. Early internet fandoms and cultures can be seen in the roots. Even older radio dramas and creeping horrors lend a hand as well.

All media works like that. But even people who never listened or liked Night Vale responded to a lot of changes that it brought to a lot of people. Because for a lot of people, then and now, are still affected and touched by such a genuinely happy oddball as Cecil Palmer and his adoration for so many things in his town. Even when he is less than happy with them.

Especially in places where the Internet and podcasts are your only chance to really see that sort of thing.

If taking a moment to articulate that makes me lame, well, good for me. The internet helped me, someone who grew up in a rural area where a majority of people are good ol’ boys and their just as typical country girlfriends, that there was a beautiful, strange place where you could always find someone as strange as you, and Cecil Palmer was one of the strangest. I was older when Night Vale came out, and I appreciated it all the more for it.

Seriously, want to see how it affected people? Look at earlier fanwork for the series. There is a lot of it with Carlos comparing and contrasting the acceptance of people in Night Vale to the comments from people outside of it. Look at Cecil himself, because while white twink is the main way he’s drawn, it definitely wasn’t the only way.

So, yeah, maybe lame. But honest. And a little amused that someone reblogged just to call it lame. I can’t say too much, given it obviously just made me blurb out more affection for the series before getting ready to go back to sleep.

Overall, expect a lot of lameness from us old school WTNV fans. We have a ridiculously large amount of feels and are full of giddy feelings now.

So hello to all the old WTNV fans, and welcome aboard to all the new ones.

[norrisleclercf1]

https://www.tumblr.com/norrisleclercf1/731107470944124928

I see your mark and I raise you three blonde twinks

I do love mark and Nando also 🫣😋 and I have a werewolf!Fernando Alonso x reader blurb I’m writing. I’m a little drunk 💀

Yessssss! I can't wait for that! Ugh Kimi, Jenson, and Seb were golden, I miss the early 2000's to mid 2010's grid they were just different. I love our grid now but could you imagine if DTS existed during their era

[windsweptinred]

10 Characters/10 Fandoms /10 Tags

Thank you for the tag @two-hands-toward-the-sun, this took me on a deep delve of my fandom past! Time to roll out my gaggle of glorious bastards again...

1. Ken Ichijouji - Digimon 02

Babies first blorbo. Puppy kicking, whip weilding antagonist who giveth not a shiteth. With a soul as black as his gloriously groomed locks. Who, by the power of love is transformed into the soggiest little puddle of twink you ever did see. Tragic backstory ✔️ A smorgasbord of issues ✔️ A realtionship with their rival/best friend so obbsessive, you're going to have a harder time proving this ship isn't a thing than it is. ✔️ Ken Ichijouji came with everything a young, naive millennial needed to make their first glorious steps into the world of fandom.

2. Ryou Bakura/Yami Bakura/Theif King Bakura - (Same body, they count as one!) Yu-Gi-Oh

Ryou Bakura - Adorable British cupcake with the soul of a traumatised lovecraftian cultist. Staring into the abyss while having afternoon tea. Gothic horror in a cream knit.

Yami Bakura - Actual murder floof, the walking personification of a horror podcast. In his wake trails body gore, supernatural mystery and gay subtext. Part demon, part Egyptian theif, 100% bringing sexy back. (bonus points: Florence)

Thief King Bakura - Traumatic back story maketh homicidal rogue. Wears red, has a social circle made up of ghosts and snake monsters... Is this not prime husband material?

3. Starscream - Transformers

Darling little duplicitous second in command of the Decepticons. Not just any 'Little Shit', THE 'Little Shit'. Simulatiously the dumbest and cleverest bot in any room. And that, my friends, takes a particular breed of talent. Negative traits, scheming, petty, fabulous. Postive traits, scheming, petty, fabulous. Repetitive attempts to off Megatron, play of either the power or fore variety. Not sure which, could be both.

4. Darth Maul/ General Armitage Hux- Star Wars

I will not and cannot choose a favourite between them. Instead, watch with wonder and awe as I neatly compress them into the same blurb...

Sad meow meow with self-worth issues does galactic war crimes to prove 'daddy' wrong. What do you mean my fixation with thwarting my archnemeis can't be classed as a hobby/career goal/life ambition? My voice can launch a thousand ships... Different circumstances, same truth. Such a pathetic little sausage, you'll want to sit them down and feed them soup. But they know atleast 101 ways to kill you with the spoon... So best not risk it.

5. Crowley - Supernatural

The diabolical king of cunt serving. Me and my athletic calves are doing this right thing for all wrong reasons...And you can't prove other wise! Alignment: Risk it for a biscuit. Four step program to deal with all life's problems: 1: flirt at it, 2: shout at it, 3: throw (please pick your chosen Winchester or, if pushed, tailor) at it. 4:... Yell bollocks and follow with a whiskey chaser.

6. Desire/Destiny of the Endless - The Sandman

Again, not picking. Desire, my darling little hell kitten. Destiny, my inglorious bastard in brown...

This is my world, you MFs all just live in it!

My emotions... Which I do not have, are the route cause of everyone else's problems.

Ah humanity, the dust bunnies upon which I sneeze.

Even in a glorified bathrobe, I'm still better then you, and you know it.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that Dream of the Endless is a f*cking dumb ass.

7. Remy Lebeau (Gambit) - Xmen, Marvel Comics

Marvel looked at their collection of motley mutant misfits. And realised they had a morally dubious, disaster bi shaped hole to fill... And there Remy Lebeau has been for for 30 slutty, slutty years and counting. Sex in fushia pink spandex. Single handily keeping thievery in Americas top 50 kinks. Slowly exhausting the world's supply of playing cards... Must be considered a traitor to the cause atleast once a decade to keep his street cred. Must be considered a secret Summers brother atleast once a decade to keep his ego in check.

8. Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) - Batman (DC)

Scythe wielding, reigning and defending Trick or treat world champion since 1941. The physical attributes of a Giacometti sculpture with the rustic aesthetic of the folk horror genre. Grumpy old man syndrome dialed up to eleven. Pets: Craw the crow, Nightmare the raven... Edward Nygma. Built a life manifesto based on a gothic novel... Oh captain, my captain.

9. Alfie Solomons - Peaky Blinders

All hail the great arisen god of Margate. Who looked upon Tommy Shelby and called him smol. Weilds tomfuckery like a pepper spray straight up the jacksie. Views betrayal as a bonding exercise. Somewhere in his words are the the meaning of life. Still awaiting the lab results as to whether this man is the anthropomorphic personification of chaotic neutral. Not even part of the egg and spoon race. Will still manage to win with a watermelon and a novelty spork.

10. Elias Bouchard - The Magnus Archives

(art by @felix-krain and @caligosatchel)

Cluedo character brought to life by malevolent eldritch entity for sexy end of the world shinnanigans. I suspect either Proffesor Plum or Reverend Green, professional opinions vary. Maintains the inability to move more than one square at a time when enacting nefarious schemes. Still has a preference for homicide by kitchenware. Comes with all the British, arch dilf energy of an Agatha Cristie villain. Taking the horrors from the hands of privileged elite and unleashing them on unsuspecting white collar workers. Eye, chin and tits first.

Whelp, that's my ten fictional characters/fandoms. Men folk (and Desire) addition. When I say I like them on the morally grey dulux colour chart. I'm not exaggerating. 😅

I'm tagging, at your pleasure @mashumaru @aisalynn @bobbole @tickldpnk8 @writing-for-life @marvagon @missingrache @rriavian @jazzy-a and @ibrithir-was-here

[bearsandcigar-stories]

A little off the Tops

by bearsandcigars (2022)

The pipe smoking barber knows all your secrets

I started to wonder about the merits of moving my home from the city centre out to the suburbs.

The pace of life is slower in this leafy, quaint village, on the edge of picturesque countryside. Very pretty but I’m beginning to think a bit dull …

… OK let me just vent … my boyfriend … my ex-boyfriend ... the bastard … he ditched me 4 months ago, when apparently, he couldn’t handle the smell of my cigars in our apartment. The crazy thing is he was an enthusiastic smoker when we got together. Now he is so fucking anti and vocal about it; he really was doing my head in for those last few weeks, so the split was best.

Surprise, surprise … he’s now shacked up with a 22 year old gym bunny, 18 years his junior, partying like it’s 1999. He’s had his hair styled like the kids and shaved his beard off, drinking kombucha tea (what the fuck is that!?) and munching fucking muesli.

So Fuck You! … Fuck You, You Sad Bastard!

My life was definitely on the up; I was getting more work as a photographer and of course Uncle Eddie died … HEY! don’t judge me - I loved my Uncle Eddie and the fact that he left me $1,800,000 in his Will IS significant but dying when he did meant Bastard Steve wasn’t going to benefit or see a cent of it. So the apartment mortgage was totally paid off and I was now in my dream home … the realtor blurb went like this…

Well-established, desirable neighborhood … charming four-bedroom, two bathroom, attached two-car garage … one of four houses situated on a quiet cul de sac with privacy and gorgeous views from the farmer's front porch. Updated kitchen, hardwood floors, two fireplaces, deck and backyard, new roof, and solar panels are just some of the great features this house has to offer.

That was the irony, I could now smoke my cigars outside!

Though the reality was brutally stark … I just wasn’t getting enough cock recently and there seemed little prospect of finding anyone soon.

Maybe I could join the local gym and the local pub seems quite lively …

… AH WELL!! …

With my ass wiped clean, I flushed the toilet and began washing my hands, looking up into the bathroom mirror.

- ‘Fuck, I look like a scarecrow’

My shock of hair was in dire need of tidying up and my dark brown beard was decidedly scruffy. Most of my recent spare time had been taken up moving into and getting my new home how I wanted it.

I’d not had a chance to check out a local barber.

It was a balmy evening, so after dinner, I decided a cigar and a single malt whisky on the front porch would change my mood. I opened up my humidor and picked out a maduro Oliva Serie V Double Toro 6 × 60 and pulled out my bottle of Glenlivet 12 year old, with a crystal glass from my drinks cabinet below. I moved outside and got comfy on my big wicker chair. I poured a large dram and began preparing my dark Gordo … I loved these bigger ring gauge cigars with great coffee and chocolate flavors.

I licked my lips as I snipped the cap and commenced toasting the foot, then firing it up to my satisfaction; surrounding myself in an aromatic cloud. Quickly followed by a slug of my favorite spirit. I relaxed and looked out at the scenic view of green fields and hills in the distance.

Aaaaaaaahhh … bliss!

I began to chill and relax, opening up the usual apps on my iPad. I was oblivious to the guy walking his dog down the road and heading towards my property. I was too engrossed on the arousing pics of sexy cigar men on Tumblr … no twinks on my pages; my likes and reblogs were generally of smokers older than my 39 years.

Fuck! loving this pic of two leather bears hungrily shotgunning a huge Asylum.

I knocked back my scotch and took a big drag on my cigar …

- ‘Hi there neighbor’

I looked up slightly startled from my tablet, but then pleased to see the handsome man with a black Labrador by his side, striding up my path

… and smoking a cigar!

- ‘Thought it was time I introduced myself, I’m Paul … Paul Davies and this is Max’

- ‘Hi Paul, no, my bad, I’ve made no effort to show face, so great to meet you, I’m Stuart MacKenzie but everyone calls me Mac’

As we chatted and puffed on our stogies, both of us checked out our different smokes.

- ‘Nice Oliva there Mac … this is a Padron’

There was mutual admiration of both fine cigars and we clearly enjoyed expressing our smoking knowledge.

I was delighted to meet this confident, stylish, and charming gentleman.

Paul, I guessed was in his early 50s, 6’ for sure and obviously in good shape.

Well groomed steel grey hair and a broad ‘porn star’ thick moustache, but darker than his hair color.

He wore black chinos, charcoal grey T, and a black leather bomber jacket.

There was strong eye contact between us, observing each other take another long draw on our cigars.

Just as I thought we were both being coy about our personal lives, Paul confirmed my gaydar …

- ‘My husband Grant and I need to have you over for drinks sometime … are you with anyone?’

And there it was, laid bare, I was the sad bastard living alone and no boyfriend … but my world, this evening, had undoubtedly improved from the depths of my earlier morose.

I wasn’t the only gay in the village.

- ‘No …’ I admitted, but gave no other details …

- ‘So where can I get a decent haircut Paul?’ … I blurted out, from apparently nowhere, but quickly changing the subject.

- ‘You need to go to Bill’s … he’s definitely your man … his shop sits on its own 4 miles south on the 36’

- ‘Oh I think I’ve seen that place … I thought it looked closed’

Paul placed the cigar on his lips and reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a phone.

- ‘He’s a good friend, I’ll give him a call …’

As I crouched down on the steps up to my porch, Paul turned away and Max bounced over to nuzzled up to me … he obviously liked the smell of cigars. As I patted and stroked the happy pooch, I was feeling so much better; watching the golden sun disappear slowly behind the grand hills. I took a good long draw on my cigar which I french inhaled and slowly exhaled in wonderful satisfaction.

There was obviously some serious chat going on between Paul and Bill, interspersed with some hilarity, as streams of cigar smoke were exhaled by my animated neighbor, high into the air.

Paul strode back up the path, puffing his cigar enthusiastically.

- ‘Right!… be there at 6:30 tomorrow evening’

I obviously didn’t get a say on the arrangement but in fact the time suited me.

- ‘Thanks Paul, I’m badly needing a cut’

We concluded our chat with warm goodbyes, hugs and some flamboyant cigar action, clearly amusing us both … a smoking bond had undoubtedly begun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My two big jobs today went smoothly. Baby pics for a happy couple, which is usually fraught with frustrations; new borns bawling whilst Mom and Dad bicker about the set up. It turned out to be a dream; a giggly wee boy and conciliatory parents.

This afternoon I’d a more formal shoot; a local engineering company promoting their management team. As I finished up I mentioned to the CEO that I was heading back to get a haircut at Bill’s, to which he said ‘oh enjoy … Bill’s the best’. As we shook hands his thumb gently stroked the back of my hand. We smiled at each other.

As I’d had a biggish lunch, I wasn’t hungry so I just popped home for a quick shower to cool down in this stifling weather and get a change of clothes. It was a relief to get out of the formal work stuff and into a pair of navy sports shorts and I quickly grabbed a black tank top from the mountainous ironing pile.

- ‘Phone … money … car keys’ … and I was out of there.

The barber shop wasn’t too far away yet I only had a vague recollection of it.

Once heading down the ‘36’ it all became more familiar and as I approached the barber’s I remembered the nondescript ‘box’ with mirrored windows - it still looked closed.

It was surrounded on three sides by tall pine trees, shading the uninviting and dilapidated building. The only indication that hair got cut there was an old red, white and blue barber’s pole, desperately in need of a fresh paint job. A car park was apparently at the back but I only found some gloomy rough ground with three vehicles already parked at varying angles … so there was actually life here!

I had uneasy feelings and I laughed nervously to myself as dark ‘Sweeney Todd’ thoughts entered my head … but I dismissed that I’d get my throat slashed.

As I approached the front door, seeing only my reflection, I still wasn’t 100% sure the shop was open, but as I pushed the door, it activated a buzzer and I was in.

Hey! This wasn’t so creepy, it was brightly lit inside.

- ‘Hi there Mac, in you come … take a seat’

It was obviously Bill and I was obviously expected … the guy was heavy built and maybe 5’10 like me, late 50s, probably early 60s? … bronzed, bald but with a grey trimmed beard.

Mmmm he’s sexy, I speedily decided.

- ‘Hi Bill, thanks’

The unexpected friendly welcome put me at ease and I sat down on the long bench seat by the front window, with a low table of magazines to negotiate around.

- ‘I’ve just got another guy to do and I’ll be with you Mac’

- ‘No worries, I’m in no hurry this evening’, I replied.

- ‘That’s good to hear Mac … make yourself comfortable’

It was only then I became fully aware of the other guy at the other end of the bench seat.

Staring at me and smiling.

He was sexy … fuck, all guys looked so hot to me in these days of drought.

Mind you, he WAS!

A bit of ‘rough’… about my age … this muscular, rugged guy with a thick reddish blond beard looked like he was straight off a construction site. With a day-glo orange hard hat by his side and open yellow hi-viz jacket he really wasn’t hard to miss; displaying his broad hairy chest and pert nipples. Below he wore a pair of faded denim cut-offs and a dusty pair of work boots. He had short hair and didn’t particularly look as if he needed a haircut … well as compared to me, with my mad mop.

- ‘Cigarette?’

He placed a Marlboro to his lips and offered me one from his pack

- ‘We can smoke here?’, I queried.

- ‘What d’ya think’ as the tanned muscle adonis nodded over to the barber smoking a pipe and his customer with a cigar in his hand, hanging down from the side of the chair.

- ‘Oh I like this place already’ I responded

He offered me a light and we both got our Reds going.

Fuck! He was an alluring smoker; his big smoking hand covered his mouth, hauling deep with snap inhales. Instinctively I attempted to match him as we started to chat briefly.

- ‘Virgin at Bill’s eh?’

- ‘Yeah first time’

That was about the extent of the short conversation, apart from mundane stuff about the weather and working in 100 degree heat. He then rose up and headed over towards the barber .

I hadn’t seen the cigar smoker leave, which seemed a bit odd but I had been distracted by ‘Mr Building Site’.

I looked over to Bill further down the shop; a flame was clearly firing up his pipe. There was a black decorative wrought iron grill between us, which created a barrier between the chair and my view. The cloud of smoke surrounding the two men excited me as I finished off my Red and stubbed it out in the large ashtray on the low table. In addition to a few cigarette butts it also had a couple of cigars smoked right down.

Passing the time, I perused well thumbed magazines in two piles; the usual sports titles, obligatory National Geographic and OH! … Cigar Aficionado, which I picked up and flicked through. There didn’t appear to be any new magazines and most were dog-eared and just about holding together after many years being thumbed. Most seemed to be at least 20 years old, plus. The cigar mag was an infamous 90s edition with a Tom Selleck feature; in his prime and great pics of him smoking cigars.

The second pile suddenly became more interesting … these were old gay mags … fuck! I probably bought some of these when they first came out …

Butt … Men … Blueboy … and of course my favorite Drummer. If they hadn’t been in such poor shape some of these may have been worth a few dollars. I was riveted on the vintage pics of hot guys for about 10 minutes, when suddenly I became aware of the deep voice, apparently repeating my name ..

- ‘MAC! … hey get your nose out of those guys’ asses’ he joked.

- ‘All ready for you Mac’

It struck me I’d not seen ‘Mr Building Site’ leave … surely I’d have heard the door buzzer so there must be a back door out to the parked cars.

- ‘Hi Bill … sorry I was absorbed by your fascinating pile of magazines’

Bill grinned as he ushered me over to the chair; laying his right hand on my shoulder, guiding me to my seat in front of the mirror.

It was still warm from the last guy, which was a quick thrill, recalling our fleeting chat.

It really was an unfussy and frankly shabby barber shop with little in aesthetics; a few photographs, randomly hung, of men sporting hairstyles from different eras … admittedly some with desirable beards. There was the possibility they were meant to be a homage to some golden age in hairdressing … but probably not.

The long mirror filled the whole length of the wall in front of me. The black and white monochrome color palette was stark in the fluorescent lighting.

It obviously was a shop where it basically did as the sign said … cut hair and nothing else fancy.

So let me just say again, Bill the barber was fucking hot … my kinda Daddy, sexy, rugged features and full of character.

I particularly like older men … it was probably a father figure thing. Maybe that’s the reason Steve and I ultimately didn’t click … he wasn’t Daddy enough for me.

My seductive hairdresser today was dressed in a pair of smart grey pants and black, short sleeved shirt, which exposed a lovely chest of ,silver grey hair from the unbuttoned open V, tanned furry arms and the hint of large nipples under the cotton material.

- ‘Right Mac … first things first … let me get this pipe going again’

It was a full bent pipe; a brown bowl and black stem … I know very little of pipes apart from what I see at my cigar store, but it clearly suited Bill; remaining close to his grey beard, by the side of his mouth.

The familiar aroma triggered a dormant memory, of my childhood barber who smoked a pipe whilst cutting my hair. It was, in hindsight, one of those moments from my youth which signposted that I liked men … masculine older men.

Actually when I think about it, that was one of the main reasons I’ve always loved going to a barber shop; being in the close company of men and having my hair cut.

- ‘Are you OK Mac?’

- No worries Bill I am very good, thanks’

Bill smiled as he puffed away on his pipe; wisps of smoke escaping his lips in regular intervals. A fragrant mist of captivating smoke began to surround us both. I preferred this earthy nutty pipe tobacco to some of the sweeter smells I know from other pipe smokers I know … I guessed it was a vintage traditional brand and it certainly gave me a warm nostalgic feeling; watching him and remembering.

A navy blue chair cloth was gathered up from the black Formica countertop; opened up and swung over my front. Bill secured it around my neck, quite firmly. I guess it’s a latent bondage thing; I loved that feeling of being under the control of the barber and him being in charge.

I was getting aroused.

We scrutinised each other in the mirror; Bill run his fingers through and pulled at my hair … either side of my head … shaking his head.

- ‘Well what the fuck am I going to do with this mess?’ … I assumed he was joking.

- ‘Yeah it’s been awhile …’

- ‘No worries son, I’m a fucking magician … leave it to me … let’s do a wash first’

I’d just envisaged a trim but I was happy to follow his orders and let him sort out the crazy mess.

Bill directed me over to a smaller chair by a white porcelain basin. Once sat, he guided my head backwards, supporting it into the curved cutout.

I gripped the arms of the chair turning my eyes upward to my ‘assassin’, exhaling his intoxicating pipe smoke in my direction. He pulled up a hose with a shower head from an opening by the basin and tested the water coming through until the temperature was to his liking. After soaking my hair, he pumped shampoo on to his palm and started to lather me up. Bill’s fingers ran through my hair, sensually fondling my head in circular motions. Ogling him, I instinctively inhaled the pipe smoke coming in my direction and my eyed closed as I luxuriated in his firm touch. I felt my cock react.

My hair was getting a thorough wash; his whole hands and fingers now massaging my scalp in a rougher manner but I encouraged it.

- ‘Oh that feels SO good Bill …’

My cock was getting harder and whilst I thought he was distracted I slipped my hand on my crotch under the cloth and casually rubbed myself with my right thumb, up and down repeatedly.

As Bill rinsed the suds away, I quietly and slowly unzipped my shorts, and with no underpants on, my cock sprung out and I let my thumb slide back and forth over the head, lubricated by pre cum.

Surely my barber knew what I was doing … had he knowingly initiated the situation, to arouse my lurking fetishes? He remained silent, making no comment and apparently allowing me to fulfil my fantasy, whilst keeping up the onslaught of amazing pipe smoke.

- ‘Did you say something Son?’

I’d inadvertently released a breathy moan.

- ‘ Eh … err no Bill … no’

My response was a bit pathetic and it seemed he was bemused by my reply.

Increasingly, I suspected the barber was playing with my emotions and teasing me in an affectionate way. A sly wink only confirmed my suspicions of the sexy man.

A white towel was lifted and wrapped around my head to dry off my wet hair.

His strong fingers resumed the physical attack on my scalp; pummelling my head back and forth. This only aroused me more in my constrained situation with the dominant Daddy totally in command.

Fuck, I was loving this.

- ‘Back over to the chair Mac’

I got up and tried, somewhat obviously, to hold the blue cloth out slightly, to avoid it profiling my erect penis. Once seated, I reorganised the cloth over my crotch.

With his pipe needing attention, Bill fired up his lighter again and clouds of smoke surrounded us again. My focus fixed on the creamy white smoke, snapped back and nose jetted all over my greedy senses.

- ‘Oh that’s fucking beautiful’ I let out without a thought.

My hand covered my erect cock to ostensibly avoiding the chair cloth becoming tented but the damage was done and a dark damp stain marked the spot of my pulsing penis.

- ‘Get more comfortable Mac … slip off your shorts’

He knew exactly what I desired and there was no awkwardness about the extraordinary suggestion. I lifted myself up, holding the chair arms, unbuttoned and let my shorts fall to my ankles, then kicked them off to the floor.

‘Oh yes Bill’ … I practically exhaled in relief.

Back on the main chair, allowed me to look directly into the mirror at the barber ‘barbarian’, as Bill picked out his weapon of choice … a particularly sharp ended pair of scissors. He made a few ‘practice’ cutting actions with his thumb and first finger. I suddenly had a vivid recollection of my childhood barber demanding I “keep my head at peace or he’d snip my ear off.”

Bill’s work station was very organised and fully equipped; combs, clippers, straight razor (I’m keeping my eye on that!), lots of different scissors, spray bottle, cleaning brush and a stack of white towels (he’ll need them, of course, to clean up my pool of blood).

With a clear view of Bill smoking his beautiful pipe, I watched him intently as he started combing through the length of my damp hair and snipping away along the comb. The tobacco burned brightly and he drew the smoke in regular bursts, as the attractive bent pipe remained clamped to the side of his mouth. The pipe was totally part of him and I was mesmerised watching his dexterity smoking and cutting.

I had given up trying to cover my erection and the chair cloth draped over me clearly showed my arousal; a distinct twitching pole and wet patch. I continued to boldly massage my penis head, enjoying the wonderful sensation.

Bill came around in front of me and squatted slightly to cut my fringe. We were eyeball to eyeball and my heart beat quickened in our close proximity … the heat, smoke and aroma from his burning pipe only exciting my cock more. Before he rose up I felt his hand slide up my bare thigh. I released my cock and let him have a quick gentle fondle along the shaft of my dripping penis with his fingertips.

My head tipped back, inhaled more pipe smoke and my eyelids closed.

… I clearly let out a long, deep sigh.

- ‘Thank you Daddy’

The word Daddy was out before I could even think to take it back.

- ‘Good Boy!’

We both paused a moment gazing directly at each other … this was real, it wasn’t any kind of daydream … there was definite, sexual tension building.

Bill appeared to be finishing off; checking his handiwork, combing, snipping and rechecking. He then reached for a small round brush and a hairdryer lying to my right on a shelf. It was already plugged into a wall socket. As the hot air blew through my hair, Bill used the brush to give more volume to my smart hairdo.

- ‘We need to deal with this beard, though it’s not too bad really… it just needs taming’

His next weapon from his arsenal was an electric beard trimmer. He selected an appropriate setting and switched on. It looked a bit worn and antiquated so I pondered if I was to be electrocuted. It started to buzz loudly and Bill worked methodically over my furry face.

The constant heavy vibration from the clippers was doing great things for me … my hand gripped my cock again and gave it a few tugs. I was now in closer contact with Bill’s pipe, as his strong hands manoeuvred my head to the best position. He squatted down in line with my face and as he took a moment to look the results over in the mirror, I found the pipe stem close to my lips. Our furry cheeks connected and spontaneously I let my lips part, offering an opportunity and I duly found the pipe slipped over my lips.

- ‘ Take a good long draw Son’

… which I did and instinctively french inhaled a steady stream of smoke up my nostrils; inhaling it, tasting it and releasing it from my mouth, as I still clenched the stem. My hand continued to slowly work my swollen cock.

- ‘Wow Bill … thanks’

- ‘You’re an natural Mac’

Bill retrieved his pipe and returned it to the right side of his mouth, as he removed the guard on the shaver and neatly trimmed my moustache.

We both looked together into the large mirror.

- ‘I guess that’s how you expected it to look Son?’

It was a slightly strange question … yes, it was a great haircut; very smart and I’m sure more presentable to my clients at work.

- ‘You want more Son, don’t you.’ … it was said as a statement of fact rather than a question.

- ‘Daddy knows a dirty boy when he sees one and it’s not enough … is it Son?’

Still working my hard cock, I was getting off on Bill challenging my fantasy.

No one had ever spoken to me like this.

Did I want more? Did I have other fantasies? Well maybe

- ‘Maybe Paul and Grant can help jog your memory … they’ve been watching you from behind this two way mirror.’

I gave the barber an incredulous look; fleetingly feeling abuse but just as quick turning to titillation. I’d always daydreamed about this happening whilst getting my hair done. A fantasy of men watching me, discretely behind the barber’s mirror, as I jack off … and this was real.

My sexy neighbors - the cigar man and his husband - ‘Mr Building Site’, emerged from a side door … both grinning broadly and smoking big dark cigars.

The same large Padron 7000 maduro cigars that Paul was smoking last night.

- ‘Hi Paul … thanks for recommending this place … hi Grant …’

They both tumbled down together onto a large black leather sofa behind me. Paul’s arm around his husband’s shoulder; they came together and kissed passionately before drawing on their cigars again. Paul called out …

- ‘So Mac, is your big cock satisfied yet … eh? …. NO!! … oh you’re a VERY naughty boy … and jacking off in a public place too’

I feigned shock, like a schoolboy caught smoking in the toilets by the headmaster … then smirking, I played up to Paul’s mock outrage.

Bill turned back to the counter and opened up a wooden box. It was filled with cigars and he displayed the contents of beautiful sticks to me.

- ‘Padron 7000, Sir?’ my barber suddenly transformed into servant mode.

- ‘Let me prepare it for you Sir’

Frankly, Bill was taking the piss with me but proceeded to cut my cigar, toast it with a lighter and then presented to me in both palms.

- ‘Thank you my man’ I replied, adopting the role of master, taking the cigar on to my lips and accepting the flame from my servant’s lighter. Drawing repeatedly until I was satisfied I had it going, surrounding the barber and me in a delicious smoky mist.

Paul and Grant continued to wrestle on the sofa; kissing and sharing smoke. Clothes were being loosened; Paul had already unzipped Grant and his hand inside hubby’s shorts. They appeared to be in their own world, leaving Bill and I focusing on each other.

I was enjoying the fantastic cigar and totally relaxed, revelling in the amazing scene. As I gazed at the gorgeous barber puffing his pipe, I let my tongue lick my bottom lip before taking another draw on my tasty Padron.

Unexpectedly the barber unzipped his pants and pulled out a massive uncut cock. Fuck, it must have been at least 8” and thick. The one eyed beast rose up, as I hauled on my big dark stick and I let the slippery serpent slide into my mouth, bathing Bill’s huge cock in my smoke and I commenced licking and sucking up and down his beer can dick. As I came up for breath, I looked deep into his soul and exclaimed

- Oh Daddy! … fuck yeah, it’s beautiful…’

My right hand continued wanking my engorged cock, now leaking profusely and took another long slow draw on my cigar. Bill lifted up another pipe lying on the counter, pre-filled and began firing it up, whilst his hips danced back and forth against my face. Upon a quick glance I recognised the Boswell style, with a large bowl. I stretched out by the left side of the chair to get more cock but Bill was already holding my head and guiding my mouth, as he really started to work his huge penis aggressively and puffing furiously on the outsized pipe, producing copious amounts of smoke. My expertise took him without gagging … it was the best cock I’d had in weeks … months and I was voracious for all I was given by the barber. Sweat was dripping from my brow as my throat massage continued, cheered on by the distracted Paul and Grant, loving the salacious show.

- ‘You hot sexy cocksucker!’

Just as I was ‘applauding’ my technique, Bill’s thrusts increasingly became more powerful and as I briefly looked up; his bull eyes were intense, his face flushed and smoke poured from his nostrils; face fucking me, zoned out, using me simply for his selfish pleasure … and I gave my all, enthusiastically, to the true master. I was now oblivious to my cigar that had been smouldering in my right hand and it fell to the floor, as my body was repeated thrown back against the chair back.

Bill rammed his almost purple cock deeper down my gullet but then eased off and pulled out. I was left unfulfilled at the sudden stop to proceedings.

My smouldering Padron was picked up and Bill slipped it back over my lips. I drew again and again until it sprung back to life. I closed my eyes and savored the joy from my smoke and elation of what just happened. It WAS fantastic.

- ‘So is that it Son?’

The commanding barber stood over me, giving me domineering stare.

- ‘what do you REALLY want Son?

The barber’s demands were quite intimidating. I hadn’t expected any of this.

As I tried to make sense of the situation, I pulled at the navy chair cloth, wriggling my neck free and dragged the material away from my body and dumped it to the floor.

My cock was now exposed; erect and solid, my foreskin pulled back taut and moist … pre-cum running down the shaft.

- ‘Daddy! … I wanna be fucked!’

- ‘… and who do you want to be fucked by Son?

Looking into the mirror, I looked at each of the sexy men and pointed at each one individually …

- ‘ I want to be fucked by YOU, by YOU and by YOU’

Paul and Grant smiled and rose up from the sofa, stripping off their remaining clothes as they approached the barber chair. Two stunning masculine naked bodies, smoking dark maduro cigars, coming towards me.

Bill turned the chair away from the mirror and I realised he too was naked now. He turned back to find his lighter and relit his big Boswell. Paul and Grant may have had the perfect bodies but for me it was Bill that I wanted the most; still muscular but I love a big hairy belly and his big nips just had me drooling.

The barber had brought out suppressed feelings and desires.

Bold now, I placed the cigar back in my mouth, it was soon burning bright and I beckoned the three men, with both hands provocatively.

- ‘C’mon ya hot fuckers … take my hole!’

I spread my legs, raising them and resting each thigh over the arm rests exposing my ass. Bill fiddled about with the chair and it fell backwards to the perfect angle as I shimmied on the seat finding the best position. As I wondered how I was going to maintain this awkward posture, before I knew it, Paul and Bill had grabbed a leg each, supporting me as I saw Grant using some lube on his erect cock.

With a great smoke in my mouth, I firmly gripped each side of the chair and braced for Grant’s assault on my hole.

- ‘Take me, Fucker!!’

- ‘Happy to oblige Bro’

The building site bull took a firm grip of my thighs and thrust his cock into my hungry hole without ceremony. There was to be no foreplay as he pounded my ass relentlessly. Smoke released from his flared nostrils in a steady stream.

It was fucking awesome.

As my body shuddered from the repeated blows, Bill picked up a pair of scissors and pulling at the cloth of my black tank top and cut two rough circular holes around my proud nipples. With Grant’s penis continually ramming up my hole and banging against my prostate, Bill started torturing my tits with his fingernails; squeezing, pulling and flicking them, whilst bathing them in his pipe smoke. Paul realised my open mouth was an easy target for his cock and stuffed it in forcibly, causing my cigar to fall again from my hand to the floor. This was followed by Bill rubbing the rough surface of his smoky Boswell bowl against my raw sore nipples … my cock was dancing in delight.

It was near impossible to get my hand on my cock and this merely intensified all my senses.

Just as I was thinking there was no stopping Grant’s engine, he gave a brief grunt and grabbed both my legs with greater intensity, as I felt waves of warm cum fill my hole. My head fell back instinctively.

- ‘Thanks mate, I really needed that’

- ‘You’re a hot fuck Mac’

Grant retreated back to the sofa to enjoy the rest of his cigar, falling heavily onto the soft black leather. I raised my feet on to the chair seat, recovering from the onslaught.

- ‘No rest for the wicked, pal!’

Paul instructed me to turn around and kneel on the chair seat facing the mirror. This was a more comfortable position for me and I could now see everything that was going on. I rested my hands on the back of the chair and as I looked at our reflections, I attempted to give Paul his best line of attack. However, he’d decided his cigar was finished, dropped the butt to the ash strewn floor and picked out a fresh Padron from the box.

Bill held my head steadfastly with both strong hands, pulled me forward, as he bent down … and we kissed. Our tongues wrestling, tasting each other, pulling and biting lips, beards rubbing … I wanted him so badly.

We parted and Bill challenged me again.

- ‘So what d’ya REALLY think about the haircut Son?’

I paused and stared at the barber … do I keep him sweet or be honest.

He gave me a reassuring look that told me to go with my true feelings.

This was not a night for holding back my emotions.

- ‘I don’t hate it but it doesn’t feel right … sorry’

- ‘I know Son, Daddy’s going to fix it’

Paul had prepared his fresh maduro cigar and fired it up, passing the lighter to Bill, who got his Boswell going once more. I was soon surrounded again with the smoky aromatic combination of both tobaccos. My craving for my own cigar matched my need for these men but it would have to wait.

As the cigar man gripped my shoulders from behind, Bill retrieved the electric clippers. Held down firmly in Paul’s hands, the barber switched on and commenced shaving my head without the guard. As great clumps of hair fell around me, Paul entered me.

Unlike Grant, he worked my ass in long deliberate drives, I could feel the full length of his great penis move in and out. It was a fantastic fuck and as the barber transformed me, I knew this was exactly what I wanted.

The mirror provided my big widescreen for all the drama. It had turned out less bloody slasher horror and more frenzied tag team sports flick. Paul quickened his rhythm tightening his hold on me … his cigar burning brightly … both of us grunting In unison until I felt him tense and his cum shot into me.

- ‘Great fuck Mac’ Paul whispered in a deep drawl.

The cigar man rubbed my back affectionately and kissed the back of my neck before pulling out and joining Grant on the sofa. They started to 69 and lick clean each others cocks.

Bill continue going over my head with an electric shaver from all directions until he was satisfied and announced …

- ‘Hey Sexy!!’

- ‘Oh yes, thanks Bill’

- ‘We’ll do that the old fashioned way the next time’ brandishing the straight razor

Two fucks and two haircuts in the space of an hour … now that had never happened before!

I looked at my ‘new me’ in the big mirror … fuck! It was a sexy look … my shaved head just accentuated my thick brown beard.

Bill stood behind me and took hold of what was left of my black tank top. He pulled it up and as I raised my arms, he simply ripped it apart from my body and threw it to the floor … leaving me completely naked. He tweaked my nipples.

- ‘I like you Mac … I like you a lot’

My cock sprung up erect and hard … there was no doubting my reaction to Bill’s announcement. Big DaddyBear arms hugged me from behind and quickly we found each other’s lips. He tasted so good. I twisted around to meet him full on … our strong desire for each other was obvious as our tongues wrestled in each other’s mouths.

- ‘GET A FUCKING ROOM!’ bawled Paul laughing

My neighbors took the hint …

- ‘We’ll get our stuff together through the back room and leave you two … that was fucking awesome boys … see you soon Mac’

- ‘No Paul, thank YOU … thanks Grant’

- ‘… Hey! come over for lunch tomorrow Mac … I want a full debrief … umm I’ll set two spaces’ the cigar man winked.

The two sexy men came over and kissed both Bill and me, with Grant taking a cheeky tug on my cock and Paul twisted my left nipple, then departed via the side door from which the had emerged earlier.

The barber took me by the hand, guiding me from the seat to the leather sofa. I lay on my back and Bill straddled me. For a few moments we just gazed at each other, lustfully.

- ‘I like you Bill … I like you a lot’

My DaddyBear was on top of me and our bodies were soon writhing around the sofa.

All our senses working overtime … this was ecstasy.

Bill dominated proceedings and soon had me on my front and clinging onto the sofa arm as I could hear him lube his huge cock …

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THREE fucks and two haircuts in the space of two hours … now that had never happened before!

- ‘So Bill, I forgot to ask … what do I owe you for my haircuts?’

- ‘No charge Son … just something for the weekend’ he winked

[toyhouse-code-hell]

Screw it- Ask #2 because I'm bored. Can you tell me about your OCs? I like hearing about random people's OCs because alot of people like to rant about them and the excitement and pure effort put into making them makes me feel profuctive too!

There's so much. There's so so so so much. Nobody that I didn't already know has ever asked me about my ocs. They're all mostly D&D characters, or are in a D&D-esque setting I'll talk about some of my favorites, but there needs to be context.

None of the LORE is on any of their fucking toyhouse pages because I literally work on toyhouse stuff, get so motivated, I work on things for three days. Then I stop everything for six months. This is a continuous cycle. I suffer daily. I also over-explain and over-share A LOT. This is the first time anyone has asked about my ocs on a public platform. IT'S GOING TO BE A LOT. I'M SORRY. (And hell this might be a masterpost for all the little blurbs about my Little Guys?? idk!!) And ofc the art is old-ish.

Hamond :)

He's an aasimar fiend warlock (1)/ champion fighter (11), son of duke of a small homebrewed country, warlock of Graz'zt. Was sent to handle an owlbear in the woods due to it fucking with locals livestock. Was ambushed by said owlbear, it almost killed him, and this very kind demon lord took the opportunity to offer this young son of a duke a second chance to not be killed. Hamond agreed, got a nice new necklace, and killed the owlbear. He does the little things his patron wants in secret, which are thankfully just small things. His father sent him away due to his country going to war (contingency so royalty stays alive), where he met an astral elf twink who is now his fucked up little boyfriend.

Used him in a Heliana's oneshot before where this happened.

Next is Vihan! I'll keep it short with him because there is. A lot. (Glitch & Worm idk if you will ever see this, but this is spoilers)

They're a sentient sword, from a set of 8 weapons that embody schools of magic. Vihan is a shortsword that lets their wielder cast evocation spells for free, given to priest-kings of a long-lots city (of Mezro, the chosen of Ub'Tao are called barae). I gave him to my part at 12th level, since one in the party had made contact with his stupid fuckup son (Ras Nsi, not canon to actual FR lore), but Ub'tao chatted with the wizard like "hey. help me?" and our wizard went "K". I was thinking they would have him be a sword for a majority of the time but nooooo they fell in love with him. >:/ He was also broken when they met, to which I gave wild magic rolls when he cast things iirc (this was in 2021 its hazy). They fixed him up though.

(GLITCH AND WORM THE SPOILERS START HERE)

His former wielder was killed in a coup by another one of the chosen, in a plan to kill them all, usurp their god, and bring about an end to the world, but LORD that's another story.

But back to Vihan.

He's a real living person, kidnapped about 4oo years prior to the party getting them, had a bunch of experiments done on him, core implanted, renamed, all that. And given to a firbolg native to Chult who worked hard to be a barae, Epoch, leaving his 2 sons to be raised by his hometown. (and bc he was murdered and nobody was giving them answers, they became closed off from the bigger holy cities) And those kids got older, had communal kids, too, and one of those kids was the barbarian pc. The new barae of evocation was the wizard that said "K" to helping a god.

His name is actually Viktor, had an identical brother named Vacek (both changelings), and he robbed tourists in order for his brother to stay in a care home (their country of origin is corrupted capitalist hellscape island where if you can't produce for society, you have no use aside from being fertilizer, unless you can afford otherwise). When Viktor was kidnapped, Vacek was thrown onto the streets 10 minutes after payment was due, and he managed to climb on a boat as a stowaway during a storm and get the fuck out of there. While he was still chronically ill, getting off of pollution island was very beneficial for his health. He made it to another country and managed to live out his days and even had a family. He never went back to find his brother, assuming his thieving finally got him killed. (Their single mother was also murdered, and retrieving her body cost the two twelve year olds money they didn't have. She was meant to leave the country while pregnant with them, to be with their father who had already left, but port guards robbed her and kicked her back into the city. When her husband came back to make a stink, he was silenced permanently.)

Yes I was VERY into xenoblade 2 when I had this idea.

Vihan is a little bit fucked up.

I think I'll be done for now. I'll rb with more if I want to later.