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[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

A Twist of Fate - The End**

IT'S FINALLY DONE! I hope you guys like this final part of the A Twist of Fate series

Warnings: mentions of drug and alcohol, mental health/therapy themes, coming out as poly conversation, fingering, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex.

WC: 25.5K

There's a playlist for this one!

When you woke up the following morning your head hurt and your body felt sore. You knew you were dancing a lot and moving in ways that your body was not accustomed to. Moreover, you were reminded of why you’d decided to stop drinking when you went out. You laid in bed in silence for several minutes, recapping all of the events from the party, and your stomach turned again as you envisioned the disillusioned look in Taylor’s eyes when she saw you coming into the bathroom.

She wasn’t mean or rude to you in any way, but a lot things flashed through your mind that made you react the way you had. The song a few months ago, the momentary lapse in your character that made you judge her when she and Harry were on vacation, and the kiss. You genuinely hadn’t felt all that bad about the kiss with Harry before, it had been a lapse in judgement, a mistake… that was until you were standing in front of her. You remembered how much you’d been fantasizing about kissing him again and apparently he felt the same way. It just felt like too many things to hold in, so they came out however they could. You were dying to apologize for ruining their evening, but you knew that speaking to either of them would cause more harm than good.

Your phone dinging with a text made you exhale. So you got a good stretch in, hearing a couple little cracks as you reached your limit and held it before relaxing and sitting up. You opened your phone and smiled when you saw Ricky’s text.

Ricky:

Hey:) Did you make it out alive? 

You had been seeing Ricky casually. It was quite an unexpected but almost obvious pairing. You’d spent a lot of time together now that you were back in the studio and you had also developed a friendship after working together for a couple years now. But after helping his sister out is when you starting hanging out more. One night when he was dropping you off after you guys had seen Provoker you just had this tense moment and he kissed you and you kissed back and well, now you’d been hooking up for a little over a month. 

Y/N: 

I did! Barely, but still haha

Ricky: 

But still:) When are you back?

Y/N:

Tuesday morning. Why…?

Ricky:

We should do something.

Y/N:

Yeah, that sounds nice. Maybe we can go to Venice? Grab some brunch and get high on the beach.

Ricky:

I think I might have to break our no romantic feelings rule over that.

You giggled as you read his reply and before you could respond a few knocks on the door startled you.

“Come in!” You called out.

“You’re up already?” Caitlyn asked with a smile and you nodded as she came over and climbed into the empty side of the bed. “How’d you sleep?”

“I should be asking you. The couch wasn’t too bad?” 

“It was alright. Better than being the audience to your tears all night.” She teased and you chuckled.

“Well, I didn’t really cry last night any more. I think it was just all really overwhelming in the moment.” You said and she nodded.

“Good. So you’re feeling OK? No bad crash?” She asked and you shook your head.

“I mean, I do feel a little down, but I don’t think it has anything to do with the molly…” you said and she hummed. “I’m just not happy with-” you paused and turned your attention back to you phone when it dinged in your hands and saw Ricky’s message.

Ricky:

I’m sorry. Did I make it weird?

Y/N:

No, not at all! Sorry, Cait just came in to check on me:)

Ricky:

Okay, thank fuck haha

Ricky:

Well I’ll let you go, I actually have to work out now so…

Y/N:

Stoooop, you do not lol It’s the worst, so I wouldn’t hold it against you if you didn’t.

Ricky:

Okay. I’ll just pretend not to know anything about your track history lol

Y/N:

Yeah, do that. I’ll text you later:)

Ricky:

Sounds good! 

“Look at you, all smiley after you said you’re a little down…” Caitlyn pointed out and you chuckled.

“It’s just Ricky.” You explained.

“Ah, still riding that…hmmm.” she hummed and you chuckled.

“God, so crass…” 

“I know.” She grinned and then your smile dropped as you recalled the previous topic at hand.

“I just feel really bad for yesterday. I hope I didn’t cause too big of a fuss with Harry and Taylor. I’m sure my reaction made me seem guilty of what she assumed.” You sighed, already overthinking it all over again. You’d replayed the scenario over and over at least a solid thousand times in the shower last night.

“Oh, they’ll be fine.” Caitlyn scoffed through a laugh, “You did the right thing in trying to avoid him. Who cares what she took the whole puking thing as. Hopefully she is able to believe Harry that you weren’t together and if she doesn’t well, that’s her issue, not yours.” She advised and you nodded.

“Right.” You smiled a bit.

“Well, what should we do today? Have breakfast and go for a little walk? Help wear off any hangover symptoms?”

“Yeah, that actually sounds good.”

“OK.” She smiled and got out of the bed, “I should shower first. S’gonna be a long one after the night we had.” She mumbled and you nodded.

“Oh yeah, please. Take your time.” You insisted.

**************

HARRY’S POV:

Harry hardly slept a wink. He hadn’t been able to reach anyone to stay with at the last minute and all the hotels he knew he could safely stay at were booked out, so he stayed on the couch in the suite. The couch was far too firm for his liking, but he still laid down there and just thought. He thought and thought for hours and hours if all of this had been worth it. He didn’t have Taylor and he didn’t have you. He felt heartbroken but he knew that this was the best outcome. He clearly couldn’t make up for the past, at least not in Taylor’s eyes. And it was better that they end things than for him to keep trying to meet an impossible expectation. Taylor wanted him to stop loving you, it was genuinely an impossible request. And settling deep in some crevice somewhere beneath all the hurt he recognized the feeling of relief. 

He tried his best to figure out what the relief was about, but he kept coming back to the same thing, he was relieved that the relationship was over. He felt wrong for having that thought. It was uncomfortable to have that knowledge and to just sit with it. But he processed through the discomfort and soon concluded that just how Taylor said she didn’t like herself anymore, neither did he. He was afraid to say or do the wrong thing and then be back in a weird limbo thing where she’d leave his place for a few days to clear her head and then come back a few days later with another condition he needed to meet to make things “work”. She was never unreasonable, but he was tired. He felt like he was fighting against who he was and he hated it. His mum always told him that he should be with someone who loves and accepts who he is and that he shouldn’t have to change fundamental parts of himself for the sake of making someone else happy.

He checked the time, it was only 7am and he dreaded being an early riser right now when he needed the rest. He just lay there quietly for a while, he could hear her moving around in the bedroom, she was probably packing up, their flight left that night. He had no idea what her plans were. Eventually, he really needed to use the bathroom and wanted a shower so he sat up and stretched his arms back behind his head and arched his back up, the low crack of his back releasing its tension made him hum before he stood. He knocked at the door gently with his index finger.

“Yeah?”

“I need a wee. And a shower.” He said. Moments later the lock clicked and she opened the door.

“Morning.”

“Good morning.” He murmured.

“You alright?” She asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” He said, “And you?”

“Good too. I don’t…regret it. Or take it back if that’s what you’re asking.” She said and he nodded, “Ummm, well go ahead and get in there.” She said.

“Tay?”

“Yeah?” She asked, eyes meeting his.

“We should talk logistics after. Don’t scamper off, alright?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, ummm, should I order up?”

“Yeah, I’ll have whatever you have.”

“Kay.” She hummed.

When Harry got out their breakfast was being delivered. So he got dressed quickly and then headed out to the little table out in the lounging area of their suite. The spread looked good and he soon sat down and started eating. It was tense and quiet for a bit before he spoke up.

“So ummm…are you going to come back to London with me or take some time away?” He asked.

“Ummm, I think I’m gonna stay here. Just ummm…get a bit of space.”

“Yeah, that’s alright. Ummm, obviously, I can take care of this for you-”

“No, it’s alright. I mean…I broke up with you, if anything I should pay for you and…soothe your broken heart.” She said with a small smile and he chuckled.

“I might not seem like it but I am upset. It just doesn’t feel real yet.” He explained and she offered a tight-lipped smiled.

“It’s alright, I know what you mean.” She mumbled before they ate a bit more. “So ummm, are you gonna go after her? Y/N?”

“Ummm, we had this deal where we’d see where fate led us, so no.” he said and she sighed.

“All that for you not to go after what you really want?”

“It’s not like that. I really wanted things to work with you too, like I love you and I care about you-”

“Sure, but the whole time you’ve loved her. So you should go be with her.” She said, as if it were the obvious next move. He still didn’t think that she was fully understanding what was really going on inside of him.

“I mean, it’s not that simple…” 

“Sure it is, Harry.” She sighed, “You’ve been pining after her all these years. I mean, I know that things didn’t work out how you wanted the first time and that letting go really hurt you. But I think you’ve been running from what you really want for long enough, H. I know you’re scared that you’ll put yourself out there and it won’t work again, but you have to take the risk.”

“I will, just…when the time is right.” He said and she nodded.

After she packed the last of her things she headed off to somewhere he didn’t know and that was that.

****************

You had just finished breakfast and Caitlyn had just hopped in the shower and you were trying to figure out what to wear out. You had two options laid out on the bed when Caitlyn’s phone started ringing from the bedside table and you hurried over and froze as you saw “Harry Styles, mobile” displayed on the glass screen. There was a wacky picture of him making a funny, irritated face in the background. It made you smile for a moment before you wondered why he’d be calling. Maybe something was wrong? You decided to deal with the consequences later and just answer it. 

“Hello?” You greeted tentatively. Your voice faded into a breathless whisper by the second syllable of the word as the uncertainty of your decision grew.

“Y/N?” He asked, almost in disbelief and you nodded and then remembered you weren’t in front of him and inhaled sharply.

“Yeah, it’s me.” You responded and smiled when you heard him sigh in relief and then chuckle.

“Hi!” He greeted cheerfully.

“Hi.” You laughed breathily and then waited for his response.

“Ummm, I was only calling to check on you actually.” He said.

“Oh, that’s sweet of you.”

“Well, I heard through the grapevine that you got a little sick.” He chuckled and you giggled.

“Yeah, that happened…” you said and he hummed, “I’m alright, I just got overwhelmed because I was drinking and also I…did drugs. I don’t think I would’ve had such a theatrical reaction otherwise.” You explained.

“Well either way, I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thank you. And how are you? I was worried that I maybe… caused some…tension between you and Taylor last night.” You said carefully.

“Yeah, I’m…alright.” He said, face twisted up a bit awkwardly.

“Why did you say it weird?” You asked and he chuckled.

“Did I?”

“I know you…” you said knowingly and he smiled to himself.

“I’m just so happy to hear your voice again. I missed the sound.” He expressed and you felt your cheeks getting all warm as you blushed.

“I’ve missed you too. A lot.” You responded. “So, how are you? Really.” You asked again. Harry was great at deflecting. But if something was wrong with them and you had unintentionally caused it, then the least you could do was talk it out with him.

“I swear, I am fine, but ummm…Taylor actually…broke up with me.” He said and you gasped audibly.

“Oh my god…” you sighed regretfully, already feeling awful and guilty for their demise, “I’m so sorry, H. So truly sorry. Are you sure you’re alright?” You asked and he sighed, “Was it because of me?” You asked next, your voice was small and quiet.

“Oh no, get that out of your head. Not at all.” He responded immediately, “It wasn’t you. This was all me…” he said and you sighed, “But I promise I’m good. Well at least right now I am…” he said.

“Well, when you don’t feel good you can call me, you know?” You said and he chuckled.

“Actually I can’t…I haven’t got your number any more.” He confessed and you scoffed.

“Oh…Okay…” you hummed in playful offense.

“I assure you it wasn’t my idea.” He added with a chuckle, “But I mean, deleting it didn’t really do what it was intended to, which was get me to forget about you, so…” He chuckled.

“I mean…” you hummed and giggled.

“Well ummm…I’m glad you’re alright.”

“Thanks. When are you heading home?”

“Tonight. I leave at 10.”

“Oh ummm…if you wanted some company we’re gonna go for a walk in the park?” You offered.

“Really?”

“Yeah, H.”

“Yeah, I’d love to come. Ummm, I’m staying at The Mark, so right near the park.”

“Oh, we’re at the Carlyle! Just down the street from you. We can walk over and meet you in the lobby?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect. Text me when you guys are walking over.”

“Will do.” You smiled.

“Alright, see you later. Bye.”

“Bye.”

When Caitlyn came out of the shower you immediately told her what you’d done and that Harry and Taylor had broken up. She was completely shocked that something as seemingly insignificant as running into you in the bathroom had been the thing that pushed Taylor over the edge.

“Wow…”

“I know. He said it wasn’t my fault but…I mean it all goes to shit after I had a wee run in with Taylor in the bathroom?”

“Yeah…I just can’t believe that is what broke the camel’s back. Like, it must’ve been quite bad between them if that’s all it took, you know?”

“Yeah…like I feel like it’s kind of my fault, but I also know I didn’t do anything, you know? But God, just seeing the joy drain from her face when she realized it was me…that sucked.”

“I can imagine. But hey, now you’re both single, maybe you guys can try again now.”

“Maybe…but he really loved her so I think he will need some time to get past this.”

“Just don’t wait too long. With both of you griping at me I don’t know what to do anymore.” She chuckled and you smiled.

“Yeah…”

***************

You and Caitlyn were waiting in the lobby at The Mark and after a few minutes Harry was wandering down looking cozy in a hoodie and some workout shorts. He smiled and waved when he saw you guys. You and Caitlyn waved back as he came closer.

“Hiya.” He said lowly as he hugged Caitlyn.

“Hey.” She hummed and then they pulled back.

“Hi.” He said more timidly as he stepped over to you and hugged you into his body. You relaxed in his hold and sighed in relief.

“Hi. It’s so good to see you.” You smiled as you pulled back.

“You too.” He grinned, “Umm, shall we?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Caitlyn agreed.

You were all chatting, recounting your adventures from the MET as you made your walk through the park. Then, Caitlyn would take you guys to a coffee shop she really liked. It was relaxed, though as you got deeper through the park a couple of people did notice you guys and two girls started following you guys for a bit until you were veering too far from their path. You were all linked arms and skipping as you playfully sung the “We’re Off to See the Wizard” song from “The Wizard of Oz” through your laughter.

“Okay friends, ready for a little caffeine boost?” Caitlyn asked.

“Definitely.” Harry chuckled and then you guys started heading back. 

While waiting in line at the coffee shop and chatting with Caitlyn about what you guys should try, you and Harry had to respectfully decline getting pictures and videos with fans to avoid making a huge fuss. But nevertheless, it was obvious that people were recording from afar or taking pictures without your consent. He didn’t seem as nervous or fearful about it as he did when you two dated, so at least there was that. He felt far more confident and comfortable declining these requests now. Before he felt a little bit obligated, as did you, because if it weren’t for these people’s support you wouldn’t be where you were. 

You did a lot of work on boundaries in therapy and now you thought of it as being on and off the clock. If you were at an event or on a stage or out in public repping a certain brand or product even if you were with friends then you were “on the clock”. But if you were just hanging out with your friends, running errands, going about your day…then you considered yourself to be “off the clock” and during these moments, depending on where you were or who you were with, you might accept or decline the requests fans made of you. Now, after what Harry had been dealing with since the night (or early morning technically) you didn’t really want anyone getting too close and you could see the gratitude in his eyes when you turned away yet another fan who was gazing between the two of you and deciding that you might be the easiest target. 

“You’ve gotten really good at this.” Harry hummed lowly as he leaned closer to you and you giggled as his lips slightly tickled your ear.

“Thanks. Therapy.” You said as you glanced up at him and he hummed.

“Not cause of me, right?” He asked quietly.

“Not primarily, but you came up.” You confirmed and he smiled.

“I talked about you too. A lot.” He chuckled and you smiled.

“All good things I hope…”

“Oh yeah…definitely.” He said sarcastically and you laughed and you moved to elbow him playfully but he caught your arm first and just pulled your body in front of his. “Had to overpower you to prevent any violence.” He said quietly and you laughed and tossed your head back to rest on his shoulder and he glanced down at you.

“You have boogies.” You grinned as you informed him quietly and he furrowed his eyebrows and scoffed.

“No I don’t.” He sniffled and ran his finger under his nose just in case and you laughed and turned around to face him again now that his dominant hand was occupied. “Do I really?” He asked you quietly and you sniggered and shook your head.

“No, just messing with you.” You assured him as you laughed and he rolled his eyes before suddenly grabbing your arms and pulling you in and then pulling your arms around his torso.

“Hug me.” He requested softly and you swore the entire world stopped just then and you smiled as you leaned into him and hugged him tight before he squeezed around your waist and exhaled. You gently scratched over the expanse of his back for a few moments, “Now when I google us this’ll come up.” He said softly.

“Hmmm, very clever.” You smiled, “Love it.” You decided and he chuckled.

“Okay, stop flirting and decide on your drinks, we’re next in line.” Caitlyn said.

“Ready?” You asked softly.

“No.” Harry mumbled, “But do it. Just do it.” You sighed and let go of him and you looked up at him with a gentle smile as you rubbed over his shoulder.

“Oh, I missed you.” You said and he grinned and you turned around as you heard Caitlyn start ordering her drink.

“Please don’t check ‘em out, I’ve got them covered.” Harry called to the cashier who nodded and smiled at him. Soon after you were all corned up near the pick up counter chatting, including Caitlyn in it a lot more now that you and Harry had been able to just relish in each other’s company for a little bit.

“Order for Harry!” The barista called and Harry walked up and grabbed the drinks, smiling at the barista and mumbling a thanks before going the few steps over to you guys and handing over your drinks. 

Caitlyn had gotten a matcha latte while you and Harry opted for plain cold brews. Once again, you guys took off but this time back to your hotels with your drinks in hand to beat the warmth of the day. You guys were talking about your favorite looks of the night as you made the walk back and when you were down the street he turned to you guys.

“Ummm, would you guys want to come up for a bit? I don’t have to leave until 8 from here?” He asked, “We could have dinner?” He asked you two and Caitlyn shrugged.

“Yeah, I’m down.” She smiled and you turned to Harry and nodded in agreement. 

After being seen leaving earlier, there were people waiting around for him outside the hotel but you guys rushed in quickly and then headed up to his suite. You headed off to the bathroom while Caitlyn and Harry picked something to watch. You looked yourself over in the mirror and you were glad that you looked alright, you felt a little weird from your slight hangover still, bit you were glad you didn’t look dead. When you opened up the door Caitlyn was sitting on the bed waiting for you to get out so she could go in.

“S’all yours.” You smiled as you stepped out.

“Behave.” She admonished and you giggled and headed back out to the little “living room” area to see Harry still scrolling through the channels on the TV with a little furrow in his brow and a slight squint to his eyes and you smiled.

“Where are you glasses?”

“I lost ‘em a bit ago.” He said glancing over to you before you plopped down beside him.

“Oh H…”

“I know. Haven’t been able to secure an appointment.” He said and you hummed. 

“You feeling OK though?” You asked more seriously and he nodded.

“Yeah…like it sucks, but you guys are good company. I’m sure I’ll feel it when I’m on my own though.”

“Well I think that’s great, H.” You said and he looked at you a bit perplexed, “I mean that you have to feel this out. I know that you really love her and that this can’t be easy for you, so you have to sit with it a bit and just go through the motions of it all.” You explained.

“And what about us? Didn’t we agree that-”

“Technically you said a few years from now…” you said with a soft smile.

“Well I’ll be 30-something by then…”

“So will I…” you shrugged and he smiled a bit sadly.

“Have you…changed your mind?” He asked you cautiously. He was trying not to look broken up about it, but you knew him well and you could see the fear and concern in his eyes.

“I’m not saying that. I’m saying you need to be single for a little bit. More than two months.” You said and he chuckled, “Seriously Harry, when we ended you had a new girlfriend a few months later. And then when that ended you were suddenly with Taylor, no?” You asked and he chuckled.

“Yeah, I did kinda rush into this last few more than usual…it just felt really right at the time and we vibed well. I knew I’d be off for a bit so it felt like good time to try.” He explained with a shrug. “Taylor actually started talking to me before I was single, so we were friends for a bit so it’s not like I just dated someone I hardly knew.” He defended and you giggled along with him.

“Yeah, I joke a bit. But I mean, as long as you don’t regret the time you’ve spent and as long as you’ve learned and grown from these people and your relationships with them I think that’s great. But I think we both know that filling the void is simply a bandaid.” You explained.

“I know…” he sighed, “I really am just so scared of being alone.”

“Well H, you’re never going to be alone. I’m here whenever you need anything.” You assured and he glanced to you with a smile, “I know that maybe it was just…scary to talk and be around each other before, but I mean once we did see each other it didn’t…hurt. Not at all. It actually brought me…relief that…nothing had really changed between us.” You said to him and he hummed and nodded.

“Yeah.” He smiled, “You know I was genuinely dreading the day I’d run into you. I think I also thought it would be painful or feel like defeat or failure… it did fuck me up a bit but in a good way.” He assured and you chuckled.

“Yeah, same…” you smiled, “Well, all that to say that I love you, a lot! And I’ll always be here for you no matter what happens with us. I don’t want us to be estranged ever again. Got it?”

“Yeah.” He nodded with a relieved smile, “You know, I think you’re right though…”

“Of course I am.” You said, “About what?” He chuckled.

“That I need to just take a little bit of time to really just get through this and then we can think of everything else.”

“Right.” You smiled. 

You guys fell silent for a bit and then you heard that Caitlyn was actually on the phone in the bedroom. When you glanced back there the door was nearly closed all the way and you sighed as you glanced down at your hands.

“How about you? How’ve you been?” He asked.

“Good.” You nodded, “I mean, Seb was relentless for a bit, but a few weeks ago he just stopped trying to win me back. I mean, I don’t think what he wants is awful, but I don’t see myself changing that much of myself just to fit the kind of person he wants.”

“Yeah.” Harry nodded in understanding. “Like I don’t think that’s a bad thing either, but it’s just the way he expects it to rest on you that’s a little…antiquated.” He chuckled and you nodded.

“Right, like don’t tell it to me like it’s my job because I’m a female. That’s where it really upset me. Like if you have a life together and you share a home and have a family it’s both of yours to look after!”

“I agree.” He chuckled, “You know, I still don’t know how to change a tire.” He chuckled and you smiled.

“I don’t think you’ll ever need to know anyway.” You teased and he sniggered. He repositioned himself so that he was facing you now and you glanced over at him. “What?” You questioned and he smiled.

“I’m really happy that you’re here.” He said softly.

“Me too.” You assured and then he pulled you into his arms and hugged you tight. He sighed in relief as he rested his cheek over the top of your head. As you exhaled your body melted into his even more until he just left himself fall back against the arm of the couch.

“You know, when we were together, I genuinely thought you were the best person I’d ever met. And like even now, it’s like you’re still the same person but just elevated, if that makes sense?” He asked and you hummed, “I want to experience you as you are now. I really love what I’ve seen. Your self control, your patience, and your self awareness, I really enjoy seeing you this way. I think when we were younger you kind of…looked to me a lot to gauge how you should feel about things…like not that you were just agreeing with me, but that my views and perception of things mattered a lot and influenced yours a lot.” He explained and you hummed.

“Yeah, that’s very true. I think you just had so much more experience in the world and I agreed with mostly everything you cared about and so I definitely tried to learn things from you and let those things influence me a lot.” 

“Well not anymore…” he smiled, “I mean, I think values-wise we’ll always be on the same page, but now you’ve grown into it on your own. Like, you took all this time to just look after yourself and understand yourself and I’m just so proud of who you’ve become. And I want to…get to that point. I want to get to a point where you are proud of me.” He said.

“Oh, I am!” You said as you set up and turned to face him again, “I think you’ve come such a long way, H. And I think you know who you are now and it’s so refreshing to see it. I think you’ve overcome your need to people please and also your fear of what people think of you and what you do. Before, the way you were perceived was almost the most important thing to you.”

“Yeah.” He agreed.

“Like over the last couple years, seeing you out and about with your friends, your partners, or whatever it be, I mean, I love it! You’ve started choosing the things and people that make you happy regardless of what other people think and I love that for you so, so much. I’ve just always wanted for you to feel happy with yourself.” You said as you reached for and then squeezed his hand in yours. He glanced down at it and smiled.

“I do, I really do.” He assured you. “You know, I just can’t help but get excited when I think about how things will be with us when we try again. It’s going to be so good…we’ve both grown up so much and really taken care of ourselves. I think I might have a bit of catching up to do with you…” he chuckled, “But I’m going to work hard at it for myself and for us too.” He said and you smiled.

“Well just know that I’ve loved every version of you so far because you’ve always been good to me. But it’s really important to me that you feel happy with yourself and clearly that’s something you’re getting more and more in tune with and it’s very beautiful to witness.” You said.

“Ummm, thank you.” He said with a timid smile as you ran your thumb over his knuckles.

“Yeah, of course.” You replied. And before anything more could happen Caitlyn came out of the bedroom and let out an exasperated sigh. “Is everything alright?” You asked her as you both watched her come around.

“A writing session got moved up for a show I’m working on and I’ll need to be back in LA tomorrow afternoon.” She groaned as she plopped down on the couch. “I found a flight, a red eye though.” She said and you hummed.

“Well I’ll go back too, don’t want to be here by myself.” You said and she nodded.

“OK, let me get them then.”

“OK, I’ll Zelle you right now, just let me know how much they are.” You said and she nodded.

“We need to pack.”

“Yeah…” you sighed.

“You guys can go if you want. Please don’t feel obligated to hang around here.” Harry said.

“What if we help you finish your packing and then you can come with us and we can pack while we have dinner and then you go from there?” Caitlyn suggested.

“Ummm yeah, I’d love that actually.” He said.

“Settled then.” You smiled at him and he returned a brighter smile, “Let’s do it!” You said and he guided you guys to the bedroom and got his things together. 

He only had a carry on as he was only there for a few days so this didn’t take too long. You guys ordered an Uber while Harry checked out and then you all headed back to your hotel. Caitlyn did her own packing as she didn’t want Harry seeing her intimates and such, so he stuck to helping you. Not that he had seen any of your new stuff, but at least he’d been in that position before. Since you guys were going to be there for a week total you guys unpacked your things into the dressers and closet, so currently all your things were laid out on the floor while Caitlyn’s were on the large bed you had shared over the last several days.

“So you guys shared?” Harry asked as he folded up some of your jeans.

“Yep. Though I don’t think we will ever again-”

“Oh my god…I shoved you one night.” Caitlyn said as you started to laugh and Harry did too.

“One night’s enough trauma.” You said and she scoffed.

“Do you kick?” Harry asked.

“No, I think I maybe had a very vivid dream because I’m usually a very still.” She explained, “Though you are a cuddler. Maybe I was trying to get away from you.” She said to you and you giggled.

“Maybe…it’s just when I sleep in unfamiliar spaces.” You explained and Harry smiled at you.

“Still? With how much you’re on the road for tours and shit?” He asked and you shrugged, “S’cute.” He assured you softly as he continued folding one of your tops.

“It’s not.” Caitlyn said to you with a grin and you just stuck your tongue out at her and she chuckled.

After a bit you guys ordered in some grilled cheese sandwiches because it’s just a lovely comfort food. With Harry there and some stimulating conversation you guys finished packing quite fast, but now you had to go down to reception and sort out the early check out. Harry offered to go with you but you assured him it was fine, you didn’t want him to get flocked in the lobby and then you hurried out promising to be back soon.

“So…what’s up with you two?” Caitlyn asked Harry when you left.

“She wants me to stay single for a while and properly move past this. I mean, she’s right of course, but it’s just something I struggle with.” He admitted, “But she said I can count on her if I need anything.” He said of you.

“Yeah, of course. And me too! You have so many friends out in LA who would more than gladly lend an ear since we don’t see you as much anymore.” She explained and he smiled.

“Well thank you. I will definitely take advantage of that. And like…I do want to work on myself a bit more…maybe I can head out there for a bit and get some face time with my therapist. We talk on the phone or do virtual stuff sometimes, but I think I could use some in person intensive work. We haven’t spoken in maybe…close to a year.” He explained with a chuckle.

“Well yeah, if it’ll be beneficial to you, do it.” She encouraged him.

“Ummm, I hate to do this to you but ummm…I saw Y/N texting someone quite a bit while we were down here…is she seeing someone?” He asked, “Or maybe I should just ask her…yeah, I’ll just ask her.” He said instead and Caitlyn chuckled.

“Alright.” She smiled. Shortly after you came back into the room and told Caitlyn everything was good to go for your earlier departure. “Excellent.” She said to you, “Well, now that we’re all packed I’m going to smoke my joint on the balcony, I want this to be the greatest grilled cheese I’ve eaten in a long time.” She said as she stood from the bed and stretched. “Do you guys want some?” She asked glancing to them and then giving Harry a knowing glance.

“No, I’m alright.” Harry said.

“Same.” You assured her and she smiled and then made her way out of the bedroom and into the common area of your shared suite and after a few moments you guys heard the door shut behind her. 

“You still don’t smoke?”

“I’ve tried, I just can’t. It burns so bad.” You grimaced and he chuckled.

“S’not good for us anyway…” he said and you nodded, “Ummm…can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah, of course.” You nodded and waited for him to speak up expectantly.

“That umm…the guy you keep texting? Are you- is he-”

“Oh no. No, no, no.” you said to him right away, “Well…we are…ummm, hooking up, but he’s just a friend.” You explained and he nodded.

“Oh okay. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t like…coming on so strong just for you to be…taken again.”

“I’m not the one who moves lightening fast here…” you teased and he chuckled and bit down on his lip to suppress the laughter he wanted to let out, “Come on…you know it was funny.” You pressed as you giggled.

“Yeah, real fucking funny.” He grinned and you chuckled as you stood up from the floor, “Where are you going?”

“Nowhere, just up here. I wanna pick a really funny movie because I really like it when she gets all giggly.” You explained to Harry and he laughed as he also pushed himself up off the ground and joined you on the large king bed. You glanced down at the remote with about a bajillion buttons and scoffed as you tried to find the one that would bring up the list of the scheduled programming.

“Need some help?”

“I can do it.” You assured as you pressed yet another wrong button, “Doesn’t it usually say guide?” You asked and he chuckled.

“Yeah? Does it not?”

“No…” you hummed, “Here.” You said handing it over and he scanned over his options before just trying “menu” and hoping that would take him somewhere useful but nothing happened, “I think we’re on the menu page.” You said to him and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Should we call the front desk?”

“Oh no, that’s humiliating. I think we can just press every button until we find it.” You sniggered and he handed it back over.

“You do it then.” 

“Gladly.” You hummed and started going button by button, after a few tries you gasped and you got it. “Oh! Hooray!” You exclaimed and he just watched you light up at such a tiny thing and it made his heart flutter at just how cute you were. That’s one thing he missed so much about you. You made such a big fuss over things, truly anything was an excuse to celebrate and be joyful. He missed being around that, there truly wasn’t a victory too small for you. Harry studied your face as you looked through the channels listed on the screen. “You’re staring.” You smiled without peeling your eyes from the screen.

“I know.” He responded and you glanced over to him to find him just admiring you. “You’re just so breathtaking.” he said softly. It made your heart flutter and for your tummy to feel all tingly as his gaze raked down your face and then landed on your lips. You had to look away because you swore your throat was closing up from how nervous you were. But when his hand landed under your jaw and angled you back up to look into his eyes you swallowed thickly.

“Har…” you whispered and squeezed your eyes shut.

“No, baby. Look at me. Please.” He insisted and you blinked your eyes open to look at him again with a racing pulse as he inched closer to you. Your noses touched and you lingered near each other nervously, eyes flickering between each others as your lips skimmed together as your breaths started getting heavier. Both of you were hoping one of you would be brave enough to bite the bullet or to just break it off. But preferably to follow through with the kiss.

“Fuck it.” You whispered before surging up to properly connect your lips. The first kiss was just a quick one, a tester almost since you both just looked at each other for a moment.

“One more.” He mumbled and you nodded before he leaned back in and held your neck gently as he kissed you deeper this time. But that kiss inevitably became a string of smiley pecks as you two tried to pull away. “Just one more then.” He smiled and you laughed a bit as he kissed over your top lip and then your bottom lip before he pulled back and your eyes met again. They were both sparkling with need and before you knew it your arms were around his neck and he was settling himself over you as your head sank into the fluffy pillow beneath you . Harry’s warm smooth lips moved in a perfectly synchronized and familiar dance with your own as you kissed ardently.

You moaned as he rolled you onto your sides and his arm draped over your hip and then slid under your shirt. His fingers tickled up your bare back before his hand flattened right beneath the band of your bra and pushed you closer to him. His thigh was trapped between your legs, allowing just a bit of friction for you. Your tongues slid together before he sucked on your bottom lip and then went back in to kiss you properly. Just as things were about to get a bit more heated you heard some heavy knocks on the door along with the room service call. 

“Mmm…need to get the food.” You mumbled against his mouth.

“In a second.” He hummed before licking into you again and you shuddered and moaned into his mouth at his intensity and fell back into the languid kiss. You were buzzing with excitement as he started to peck your lips a few times before slowly retreating until finally, you were both just panting heavily as you regained your breaths. “Okay, go.” He hummed softly with a smile.

“One more.” You whispered to him and he grinned and grabbed your face before pecking over your lips several times until you were both giggling through it, no amount of kisses were enough for either of you.

“Just leave or I won’t be able to stop.” He mumbled and you laughed, tossing your head back which caused him to kiss your chin. When you straightened up again he ran his thumb down your smile line, “Mmmm, I’ve missed your laugh. And your lips, and how you taste, and how you kiss me…” he muttered between gentle smooches. “It’s just not like this with anyone else.” He mumbled and you pressed your forehead against his.

“It’s really not.” You agreed, “Okay, let me get the food. And Caitlyn.” You said and he nodded before kissing the tip of your nose and letting you go. You rolled out of the bed and then hurried to get the door to wheel in your tray of food and then you went to grab Caitlyn who was already quite stoned. “Come to bed, we’re gonna watch a movie or something.”

“Kay.” She mumbled and followed you into the bedroom as you pushed the little cart in.

Harry rolled out of the bed and grabbed his sandwich before hopping back on and then you grabbed yours and got on the bed next. Caitlyn stayed standing as she picked at the fries on her plate.

“Get on.” You giggled and she sniggered.

“Oh right, right…” she hummed and got in behind you. “What’re we watching?” She asked as she leaned against the headboard.

“Oh, we’re watching Derry Girls. This thing has Netflix.” Harry said as he searched it up.

“How convenient that you know how it works now.” You said to him as he pointed the remote at the TV.

“Oh no, I just pressed something by mistake as I adjusted myself a bit.” He chuckled, “Well m-my position! I adjusted my position.” He clarified quickly for Caitlyn’s sake.

“Oh please, I only left to give you guys a moment. The sexual tension is suffocating.” Caitlyn said before biting into her sandwich and then moaning in delight at the perfectly crisp bread and then the gooey, warm cheese. “What you two have is what I have with this sandwich right now…fuck, that’s perfect…” she sighed happily. And you just giggled as you glanced to Harry and shrugged and he smiled and then you all started eating as the show started up.

The time for Harry to go came very swiftly and before you knew it, you and Caitlyn were getting in the elevator to walk him out to meet his driver. You all chatted a bit during the ride down and finally you were heading out to the lobby.

“Ummm Cait can you be a look out for a minute?” Harry asked her and she smiled and nodded as she reached for his suitcase and Harry grabbed your hand and pulled you into the stairwell. “I just wanted to hold you for a little bit.” He said and you smiled and hugged him tight and he sighed and squeezed you.

“You’re gonna be a alright, H.” You assured him, “And if at any point you’re not, I’m here for you. Always.” You assured him and you felt him nod in understanding. “I love you. So, so much.” You reminded him.

“I love you too.” He whispered back. After a few more moments you pulled back and tiptoed before you grabbed his face gently in your hands and smiled as you pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“One for the road.” You hummed and he smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” You assured him and then you grabbed his hand and led him back out by the elevators.

“That was quick.” Caitlyn smirked and you both rolled your eyes at her as she giggled.

“You’re a menace.” Harry said as he grabbed his bag from her hands.

“I know.” She giggled.

“Come on. Can’t keep the driver waiting.” You said and then you guys headed out. 

The night was still warm and Harry greeted his driver before getting his bag in the car. There were a few people lingering outside who were now watching the three of you considering Harry was a hard person to miss, his energy alone commanded people’s attention. 

“Well thank you both for including me today. I had a lot of fun and I missed being with you guys.” He smiled.

“I’m glad you had a good time.”, “Of course, H.” You and Caitlyn ensured.

“A group hug is in order, I think.” He said and you both smiled and huddled around him.

“Don’t be a stranger.” Caitlyn hummed as you guys pulled apart.

“I won’t.” He assured with a smile before hugging her and then he hugged you. He held you a bit longer than Caitlyn before he released you.

“Let me know when you land and make it home safe. Okay?” You smiled up at him as you rubbed his arm sweetly and he nodded before hopping in the car. You guys waved him off and then headed back up to your suite.

“You know you’re gonna go way more viral now…” Caitlyn said and you sighed.

“No, I think people will say he cheated on Taylor with me and wreak havoc on me.” You said, realistically. 

“Well, he kinda did…” Caitlyn said through a chuckle.

“Oh, shut it.” You quipped and she laughed. “Fuck…he did though.”

“It was a kiss.” 

“A kiss she doesn’t know about.” Caitlyn reminded and you nibbled on your bottom lip as you rode back up to your floor.

“Maybe asking him to join us was a mistake? I mean…he looked far too happy for just being broken up with.”

“Friend, he hadn’t been happyfor a while now and it was all to do with the path his relationship was going down. Not you.” She said emphatically, “You both kept your end of the bargain by keeping your distance and seeing what would happen in the future. It was just hard for Taylor to live with the information that he still loves you. Do you think he’s polyamorous?” She asked you.

“I don’t know…maybe?” You shrugged.

“I mean, at least when we spoke about his predicament that’s what it sounded like to me. That he loved you but that he also loved Taylor and he wanted to try and keep his feelings for you “on pause” somehow to work on his relationship with her.” She explained and you hummed. “But I think to her it was hard to come to terms that he was in love with you while simultaneously being in love with her. And I told him that it just doesn’t work for some people, they don’t see how love can be expansive like that in a committed relationship. My first ever girlfriend in college, Jen, was poly. And I thought I was okay with it, she said she could be monogamous, just her feelings continued to exist for others. She had this friend though that she loved too, it was just so obvious how they felt for each other and it sucked. It started to affect how I felt in that relationship. She never crossed a line and neither did he, but I just felt really insecure in it. I understand it so much better now, I mean I was only 19 when I dated her. But I fully understand why for Taylor it was just not possible to move forward with Harry if this is her first time in a situation like this.” She explained and you nodded. “And I mean, I think that you also need to figure out if that’s something you can live with if he is.” She said.

“Right…”

“Like I get that you guys are like each other’s person, but that doesn’t mean he can’t meet and love someone else along the way, you know?”

“Yeah, that’s true…I mean, just seeing how he was trying to accommodate things to support Taylor’s needs gives me a sense of peace. But I mean, we should definitely have a conversation about what this might look like for him in the future whenever we get back to a stage where we’ll have a relationship.”

“I agree.” Caitlyn said.

Overall, you felt good about where you were now to be back in touch with Harry if he needed you at any point. You were also extremely proud of yourself for the way you handled the situation about your future together. Of course, you would run into his arms at a moment’s notice, but he was sad and he needed to grieve the wonderful person he had lost. He did love Taylor, at least enough to put all of his effort into making up for breaking her trust. It had just happened and you really wanted to give him time to sit with the situation and work through the hard feelings you knew would come soon.

As soon as you guys landed early the next morning you, Harry, and Caitlyn were plastered all over social media per a call from your manager. She sent you a link and you looked and sure enough there were photos and videos of you three talking and skipping through central park, looking like you were having the best day of your lives. You showed Caitlyn who just mumbled a low “it is what it is” and you bit your lip.

JENNY L:

And there’s also this one…

You saw her next text and then clicked on the linked article and when it loaded you couldn’t help but snort out a laugh as you read the obscenely cheesy title of the gossip article: “STYLES CHOOSES TO SKIP OUT ON TAYLOR!” It was staring at you in big, bold red font. But your stomach twisted a bit in anxiety as you scrolled down the article recounting what witnesses had said to the tabloid. There were quotes in the same bold font saying how you guys seemed really “happy”, “cozy”, and “familiar with each other.” And of course there was a short clip of him whispering into your ear while you hugged and gently scratched at his back at the coffee shop. Also of you glancing up at him and the both of you smiling when you joked with him about having visible boogies… you smiled at the memory but you knew that what would surely come next when the both of you gave no real explanation to this. Towards the bottom of it there was one more photo, one of the only ones ever taken of you two a couple years into your relationship. You guys had been walking back to his house in London after having some lunch. It explained how it seemed that you guys had been familiar at some point and maybe you’d lost touch but were back in touch after the MET.

JENNY L:

I already have a few reporters reaching out for commentary. Please tell me you guys didn’t do something bad…

Y/N:

No, don’t worry about this. Taylor actually broke up with him after a MET after party. There was an incident, I’ll call and explain when I get home. We’re in the car service right now on our way back from LAX.

JENNY L:

For sure. 

Y/N:

I’ll also call Harry and see what his team is going to do.

JENNY L:

For now don’t. I’ll get in touch with Jeffrey and Tommy. I know they’ll want to isolate him from this as much as possible. I’ll be standing by for your phone call.

Y/N:

Sounds good. Talk soon!

Jenny “hearted” your message and you guys drove off to your place in silence. Caitlyn had left her car at your place and since Sebastian and you had broken up she decided to keep some things at your place for impromptu sleep overs. So as soon as you got in she went to get some more sleep in the guest bedroom while you called Jenny and explained what had happened the night before. It hadn’t been anything bad, but you then explained what Caitlyn had shared about how Harry and Taylor were struggling with getting back on track after he admitted he had feelings for you.

“…so yeah, there wasn’t anything fishy per se apart from that. We actually hadn’t even spoken since we saw each other last year. Taylor never attempted to contact me or anything either, we don’t even know each other. Just that little run-in in the bathroom which no one saw.” You shared with Jenny, “So uh, no connections there either.”

“Okay, sounds good. Already the fans are labeling you a home wrecker, they really liked them together.”

“Yeah, I was expecting that.” You sighed.

“Oh, Jeffrey just texted me!” Jenny said and opened it up, “Okay he said that Harry wants to clarify that you have been close friends since you were 19 years old but that he’s not all that sure that they should do that because you guys having a history could mean more of a logical framework for any theories of cheating.”

“Yeah, like we were so close that it eventually led to that…” you said, “I mean we could just both go no comment. I know we didn’t do anything wrong so… ”

“Yeah, I agree. I guess Harry doesn’t want to “hide you from his life” is what Jeff just said.” She shared and you bit your lip.

“I think I need to talk to Harry ,this is something he feels like he might owe me for. When we dated, I mean, you know…we were both so worried about the public ruining it for us. He did tell me that he felt bad that he let his fear of what others might think get in the way of us living our lives. And that it sometimes felt like we never happened because everything was so hidden. He said he wished that everyone could’ve seen how happy we make each other. He could be wanting to make up for that…”

“Mmmm, okay. Let me tell Jeffrey to get him on the line, we can do a group call or FaceTime?”

“Yeah, that’s alright.” You assured her.

“Okay I’ll call you back.”

“Yeah.” 

A few minutes later a call was coming in with the three of them and Jenny, and you guys started to discuss. Tommy said that he had tried to get in touch with Taylor’s team but she didn’t want to weigh in on anything as she was still dealing with the decision to break up with him. Harry understood that, so they weren’t going to get a confirmation from her any time soon that she had ended the relationship.

“H, I completely understand why you want to release that statement but I think it’ll only perpetuate the idea that we were doing things behind her back.”

“I just don’t want to hide that you make me happy anymore.” He sighed.

“We’re not, I mean the pictures are everywhere.” You said with a small smile, “People can see it but we don’t owe them any explanations about it. I don’t think we should address speculations.”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right.” He finally agreed and everyone looked relieved.

“I think if we gradually increase your time together it might make it look more natural?” Tommy suggested.

“What about private photos? What if we have an “iCloud leak”-”

“Absolutely not.” Harry cut Jenny off.

“Well Harry, that might establish what you want without having to say anything.” Jeffrey explained.

“We could choose what we release. Just things from birthdays or shows, parties…” you suggested, “We could show them this is nothing new, that we were always like this.” You smiled.

“Okay, fine…I mean, even Caitlyn has some stuff on her instagram from years ago…I was…looking.” He said and you smiled. “Oh shut it…” he chuckled as you all laughed.

“She’s on private though…always has been.” You reminded and he hummed.

“What if she’s the one that gets “hacked”. People are starting to look into who she is as well. I already saw one article that identified that she’s a screenwriter, I’m sure more people will be trying to see how she’s linked.” Jeffrey chimed in.

“I’ll have to ask her…I don’t want her to give up her privacy for us.” You said and Harry agreed.

“Well I think that would be the best case if she gives us access to her instagram and iCloud. But if not, then we just do the iCloud leak from one of your accounts.” Jeffrey decided. “Start looking through your pictures guys.”

You guys agreed on this strategy and you agreed you’d ask Caitlyn when she woke up. Of course, your best friend listened with an open mind and wasn’t even reluctant to agree and help you guys out. She knew that you guys had messed up when you saw each other that first time, but your commitment to let each other try and live your own lives really showed her that you guys regretted betraying your partners, so of course she wanted to help you both now. When she checked her instagram there were already tons of DM’s and follow requests waiting for her. She wasn’t even verified, she really just used this for personal things, so it would be understandable if she got hacked now that she was connected to you and Harry. Over the next few days your teams figured out the logistics of this plan and Caitlyn shared with you and Harry any pictures that she had of you guys on her iCloud and then a few weeks later the “leak” happened. 

Screenshots of Caitlyn's grid were taken and leaked on twitter from years back and it worked. People were immediately finding what you guys wanted them to find. Then two days later the “iCloud leak” happened. With this stunt, a solid timeline of your and Caitlyn’s friendship with Harry was established. There weren’t too many photos but the ones that fans were circulating the most were the ones of you two with Harry while he was still in the band. Of you guys at Caitlyn’s 25th birthday party with you and Harry kissing her cheek on either side. There was a video of you and Harry doing karaoke, a couple of pictures and a video of Caitlyn and Harry at your first big, sold out show in London. And finally one of him painting your nails with a prototype of what fans soon discovered was now the Pleasing polish “inky pearl”. It had to appear as though “the hacker” had intentionally dug through years of things to find this specific content. And once those were out into the world the tune changed and people thought it was cute that you guys had been friends for that long. People were saying that you guys appeared to be really into each other even back then and that you would make a cute couple.

Naturally, that started shifting the narrative into “maybe Harry dumped Taylor and was just out with his old friends to cheer up a bit”, which was mostly right. But once that became the main rumor an anonymous source leaked to a few gossip news outlets that Taylor had actually been the one to dump Harry the night of the MET. Obviously, Harry and Tommy had been in on that with her representatives because they didn’t want her looking like the chump when she had been the one that did the dumping. And once that came out the internet went wild and people were overwhelmed with the knowledge that his old friends truly were comforting him after a break up and that Taylor had dumped Harry because they were “growing apart”. 

You were fine, but having that all out there in print is what really seemed to make it real for Harry and he started to disappear a bit. You knew he needed space and time to process and heal, so you gave it. You didn’t want to bug him or make him feel pressured, so you assured him that he didn’t have to talk to you if he wasn’t in the mood. But if he didn’t mind, you’d just check in every few days, say hi, send some encouragements and he agreed to that. It was all very one sided as the months inched by and boy, did you miss him, but he really needed to get through this on his own terms.

…. August 2024 ….

Harry’s POV:

When Taylor returned to London in early June to pick up her things from his place it was extremely bittersweet for him to see how she looked so much lighter in terms of her mood and persona as a whole. She didn’t look tired or stressed how she had towards the end of their relationship. She looked more like herself and even sounded like herself, all bubbly and optimistic about things. It made him feel really happy for her, but it also made him sad, knowing that he contributed to her unhappiness. Knowing that he had hurt her enough to dull the gorgeous and bright person that she had been before. The person that he had fallen in love with. He even tried to kiss her when she was leaving and nearly died of embarrassment when she rejected him, but he understood.

He and Tommy did share the PR plan you guys made and assured her that you were cautious in trying to keep her out of it as much as possible. But he heard from her again when the public brought her into the picture and she wanted to set the record straight and he agreed that she should, he didn’t mind it. But once all of it felt resolved he just crashed. 

He stopped talking to you around the second week of June because he just didn’t have the energy. But you had been kind and checked in, assuring him he didn’t need to answer, but you just wanted to encourage him a bit. It meant the world to him that you understood to keep doing that, but still giving him the space he needed to get through this. For months now he had allowed himself to feel it, like you told him he needed to do. And god, it hurt…it hurt so much, but it was relieving to have felt it all. The sadness had faded seemingly very suddenly, he just woke up one day and didn’t feel hopeless. He missed you though, he wanted to see you so badly but he had no idea when too soon was “too soon”. 

Y/N:

This popped up on my pinterest feed! IT’S YOU! Lololol. I laughed so hard and it’s so, so cute. I hope today is better 💛

Harry’s head knocked back as he laughed at the little image on his screen. It really was him and the fact that even the text said “Feel it all” was extremely fateful. He smiled and “hearted” the message before setting his phone down on the counter and turned to go make himself some coffee. Seconds later he came back and unlocked his phone and texted his assistant to book him a one-way ticket to LA for next week.

****************

Y/N POV:

Your summer had been very nice so far. You genuinely were not worried about Harry in the slightest, you knew that healing took time and he knew well that you’d be waiting whenever he was ready. After seeing the way things worked out after the MET, you had a restored sense of hope in fate and the universe, so you let it be. For the time being you were having a lot of fun in the studio working on some new things. You were also spending a lot of time with friends and with Ricky too. You guys were just enjoying what you had going on. It wasn’t a routine at all, your hookups were sporadic and spontaneous, like now…

“Oh fuck yes, right there!” You mewled as his long fingers prodded into your g-spot as his thumb glided over your clit over and over at the perfect pace.

“Shhh…” he chuckled as he looked around briefly. You were in a hidden little nook at the studio. Everyone had gone for lunch but someone could always come in at any moment. “Look so fucking pretty today. You wore it for me, didn’t you?” He mumbled against your lips and you smiled.

“F'ourse.” You panted and then inhaled sharply as your walls fluttered around his fingers as your orgasm neared. It always took longer for you to come standing, so you’d been there a while. “I’m getting close…fuck, faster!” You implored and he listened and started pumping his fingers faster until your legs were trembling. Your head knocked back against the wall and you huffed out a laugh at the thud, but it wasn’t enough to deter you from coming.

“Come for me, Y/N.”

“Yeah, jus’don’t stop…don’t stop…oh my god, I’m coming!” Your moan broke through your throat and he brought his other hand over your mouth to mute your sounds. Your arms hugged around him to keep yourself upright as your knees went weak and shook at the waves of pleasure coursing through you. Your walls were pulsing rapidly around his fingers as you rode it out. He removed his hand from your mouth as you started panting and wrapped it around your waist while his fingers continued fucking into you slowly to help you ease off of your climax. You angled up and kissed his lips before smiling giddily, your eyes all sparkly and heavy with lust.

“Y’good now?” He asked with a grin after a minute or two and you nodded.

“Yeah.” You confirmed and he let go of you and pulled out his fingers before sucking them clean. 

He tugged your skirt back down to where it was before your little romp session. Your lips met eagerly for several moments, smearing together and connecting fervently. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t return the favor now, there wasn’t time. So you kissed him to show your gratitude for his immediate attention to your obvious need. 

“So after the afternoon session do you want t-” you paused when you thought you heard a door close.

“What’s-”

“Shhh.” You shushed him quickly and he froze as you definitely heard some movement in the control room. 

“Maybe they’re just grabbing something?” He whispered and you both stayed quiet trying to hear anything else, whoever it was wasn’t leaving.

“Where’s my underwear?” You asked him and he patted at his pocket and then glanced around to find that they had not stayed in his pocket.

“I think they fell out of my pocket in the live room somewhere.” He said and you groaned quietly. He peeked out a bit and saw them near the large amp you’d been sitting on before you moved into this little nook. “They fell out near the amp.” He said regretfully and you swore your brain melted from how embarrassed you were. If anyone walked into the live room they would surely see them. And then the worst thing that could happen did, you both heard the soft creak of the door to the live room opening.

“Shit!” You whispered and decided to just get out there. Maybe you could grab them before they even noticed and hurry out to the bathroom and Ricky would just stay hidden until the coast was clear. “OK, I’m gonna grab them. Just stay until I come get you.” You whispered and he nodded. You exhaled shakily and then stepped out of your little corner only see Harry Styles himself stop as he approached the piano bench, thankfully on the other side of the room. He smiled wide as soon as he saw you.

“Surprise!” He exclaimed through a chuckle and you reared back a bit, at least to kick your panties behind the amp so he wouldn’t see them on the floor. “Why are you backing away, come here!” He chuckled and you glanced down quickly to see they were hidden enough before hurrying over to him.

“W-what’re you doing here?” You asked him with a smile as he sighed and hugged around you and then squeezed a bit tighter. You were completely flustered now and distracted and he could feel the weirdness you were exuding as you cut your hug short.

“I just wanted to surprise you.” He explained and you nodded.

“That’s really sweet of you.” You said and he chuckled as he took you in for a moment.

“Are you OK?” He asked and you nodded quickly.

“Of course!”

“Are you sure? I mean, I know I kind of just showed up but I was expecting a little more enthusiasm form you after not seeing each other for months.” He chuckled and then the next worst thing happened, Ricky’s phone started ringing. Of course he had to have Patrick Star saying “Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee” as his ringtone. Your face fell into your hands in absolute mortification as Harry burst into laughter at the very random interruption, “Is that your ringtone?” He gasped through his laugh and you shook your head, still hiding your face in your hands. “Oh. Then…” he sighed and you glanced up at him, “Oh…” he said more quietly and you exhaled.

“Ummm, Ricky it’s fine. It’s Harry.” You said and he stepped out from the little hidden corner seconds later. He looked between you and Harry with painfully embarrassed smile. But he inhaled sharply and pushed the feelings aside.

“Hello Harry, I’m Ricky.” He said extending his hand out and you winced.

“Mmmm, maybe don’t do that right now.” You said softly and he glanced down at his hand and then pulled it back once he realized that he had just used that same hand to finger fuck you.

“Right, ummm…”

“Just, come here.” You said as you went behind him and gabbed his arms to corral him out of the studio and to the bathrooms. “And you, stay here please.” You called back at Harry who just nodded, still quite shocked at what he’d walked into and moments later you had emerged into the hall and exhaled shakily.

“Oh god, that was bad! That was so bad!” He panted nervously.

“I know! Fuck…”

“Did you get your underwear.”

“No! He was already in there, I just kicked them behind the amp.” You explained. “Look, I ummm, I think I need to talk to him alone for a little. Just go wash up and let everyone know to take another thirty or so?”

“Yeah, OK.” He nodded and then chuckled, “I’m sorry to put you in this position.”

“It’s fine, I was the one that was too impatient to wait until after.” You reminded and he chuckled.

“True…” he mused with a grin, “Ummm, well you go deal with that and I’ll go stall everyone a little.”

“Thank you.” You breathed out and then inhaled slowly.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. OK?” He smiled and you nodded with your bottom lip bitten beneath your front teeth out of nerves, you needed to take it out on something, “Go on.” He insisted and you turned around and headed back into the studio. When you entered the control room and looked out the large window into the live room Harry glanced back at you from his seat on the piano bench. You headed back in a bit timidly and he smiled at you.

“You alright?”

“Yeah! Sorry about that, it just…happened.” You explained bashfully and he nodded.

“Yeah, I get that.” He smiled, “S’good to put a face to the name.”

“Oh yeah…” you hummed and shook your head again. Harry chuckled and reached for your hand before hesitating.

“Is your hand clean?” He asked before grabbing it and you chuckled but nodded. “OK.” He hummed and stood before grabbing both of your hands and running his thumbs over your knuckles. “I’m fine.” He assured you, “Well…maybe fuming inside…just a little…” he confessed.

“Don’t worry, it was just that, not sex, m’not that crazy.”

“And I wonder whose idea that was, you little exhibitionist.” You teased and you shook your head as you giggled.

“Either way, ummm I am happy you’re here.” You said, “So can we have a do over?” You asked and he chuckled.

“Of course.” He said and released your hands before wrapping them around your shoulders and pulling you in. You hugged around him and leaned into him.

“I’m really happy to see you. Missed you.” 

“Me too.”

“So what made you come out here?” You asked and he pulled back a bit, his hands grabbed your face gently.

“The froggy picture.” He admitted and you laughed and he bit his lip as he watched you laugh. You were so pretty, he was glad he saved seeing you again for the first time for this face to face encounter.

“When I saw that little cardigan on him I just about died.” You recalled, giggled at the memory. “It’s so cute.”

“Yeah, it was cute.” He agreed, “You look so pretty today.” He complimented.

“Thanks. You too.” You hummed and he chuckled.

“Mmm…particularly like you in this skirt. Though it is a bit skimpy…” he pointed out and you smiled.

“Yeah, s’quite short.” You agreed.

“Then you might be…” he reached down and hooked on his index finger was your underwear, “needing these back.” He hummed and you felt your face heating in embarrassment as you glanced over to them and then to him. He was smirking and you reached for them and he raised them out of your reach. “Mmm…just a little higher, love.” 

“If I reach any higher my ass will show.” You laughed and he did as well.

“So unprofessional…” he mumbled and you rolled your eyes before looking deep into his eyes pleadingly.

“Please.” You insisted, “Would love it if I didn’t flash anyone at work today.” You said and he chuckled and lowered them so that you could reach for them but then pulled them away from you. 

“May I?” He asked and you bit your lip. He smirked at your response, “I’ll take that as a yes.” He hummed and stepped forwards, effectively backing you up until you bumped into the piano, the higher keys at the end clanked discordantly as your weight pressed them down and your gazes met as you both sniggered in amusement at the happy little accident. The sound seemed to reverberate forever, that’s how tense it was between you two. He crouched down and spread them out for you, allowing you to step into them as he stood and pulled them up your legs and finally over your center. He really tried his best not to look or lean in when he got them up to your pussy. He knew you were wet, but it was not from what he had walked in on, it was all for him. It probably had been all along, he didn’t want to assume, but he hoped. He really hoped. “There you are.” He hummed as his fingers fixed the straps along your hips, tugging on them a bit to straighten them out.

“Thank you.” You said softly.

“Of course.” He smiled as he fixed your skirt again and placed his hands on your hips. You suddenly smiled even wider and he giggled, “What’s that cute little smile about, then?”

“Nothing. Just thinking that you’ve never… I don’t think you’ve ever done that before?” You shrugged.

“Mmm…surely I have.” He mused, his face scrunching a bit in thought, “Or not…maybe not…” he decided a few seconds later. “I’m glad I was clever enough to pull it off.”

“Oh yeah, that was…a moment.”

“Core memory?” He smirked.

“Oh yeah, core memory.” You smiled and just hugged him again and he hummed happily, “You’re staying, right?”

“Yeah, if you want me to.” He mumbled and you pulled back.

“Yeah, of course. Could use some of your expertise. A little Styles sparkle.” You flirted.

“I like that!” He chuckled, “M’stealing it.”

“Okay.” You giggled. “Caitlyn’s friend, Melissa, from the pilates studio? Well she’s my friend too kinda, but more Cait’s. Either way, she’s having a little pool party with cocktails. It’s a casual thing. If you wanna come, I’m sure we’ll end up ordering in.”

“Oh yeah, that sounds nice.” He smiled. “I-is Ricky coming?” He asked.

“Ummm, maybe? If you don’t mind?” He shook his head and you squinted your eyes suspiciously.

“I swear.” He chuckled.

“OK.” You said softly. You let each other go and then grabbed your phone from a music stand a few feet away. 

“Have you eaten?” He asked

“Nope.”

“Want to go pick something up together?” He asked and you nodded.

“Sure.” You said and soon you were heading off to the closest thing before heading back to the studio with your food.

It was nice sitting with him while you two ate and talked casually about your music and what you wanted out of it. You were trying to find the words to describe what you wanted this project to be and what you wanted it to evoke. You missed talking to him about this kind of thing. Harry just had a real gift for expressing everything he was trying to express when he made his music. And at the moment, you felt like your vision just wasn’t cohesive, or at least you felt that way.

“…I don’t know, I’m a bit lost on this process, I guess.” You decided finally when you started bouncing between ideas, “I don’t even know why I wanted to do an album anymore…” you confessed with some sadness.

“What initially pushed you to decide?”

“I think seeing you, the weird things with Seb…I mean, I just feel kind of like things have taken a twist I didn’t expect. And I’m just…lost. I feel lost, even though I shouldn’t be. I feel like what I need to do next in life is kinda a no brainer, but-”

“A no brainer to who?” He asked and you shrugged, “Everyone I guess. But I also feel…like…I’m in a glass house.” You said and he hummed, “I feel like everything right now is really fragile right now. With my heart and my head…with this album, I know that it’s been a while so I need t-to deliver, I mean obviously. And then w-with us too.” You explained and he hummed, “I just don’t even know where to start to be honest. And I think…that shows in the music. It’s going to be a big, fat flop.” You chuckled sadly, “I can just feel it. It’s murky…”

“I mean, you always know what I think. At the end of the day you have to like what you produced. And you have to be proud of it. I get that we do this for a living, but it’s also our entire heart and mind in those songs. All the things we’ve dealt with during this time, the joys the sorrows…I mean, that’s what we’re putting out there for everyone to judge and feeling like it doesn’t make sense anymore can be scary. But honestly, things don’t make sense for a lot people out there, and hearing that just might help them feel not so shitty about it.” He said and you hummed.

“Is it crazy that I really want to embrace another sound? I don’t even know what it falls under, but I just want it to sound exactly how I hear it in my brain.” You explained, “Like…” you paused and chuckled, “there are lines I wrote while I was like at the grocery store or stuck in traffic, and like I can only hear them in that setting. Like just to show how banal my life is, you know? Like, I want to put in the beep of the check out machine in or staticky radio chatter about the heat wave, my alarm going off in the morning, the chirp of the fire alarm I haven’t changed…I was thinking of maybe putting in some like voice notes between the tracks, like texts with friends, or little things I make to remember what I need to buy at the store. Like I want it to be like a day through my perspective I guess…almost like the music is narrating a routine?” You explained and he nodded and smiled.

“I think that’s really cool.” He said and you bit your lip.

“It’s not too…messy and chaotic?”

“No, it is for sure, the layering is going to be insane.” He said and you chuckled and nodded, “But it’s a cool concept. Like basically if your life was a kind of like a musical.” He said and your eyes widened.

“Exactly.” You sighed and smiled, “Wow…who knew a word for that already existed.” You chuckled and he did as well, “I was struggling for a while there trying to describe what I wanted. Thank you!” You said and he chuckled.

“Happy to help.”

When everyone returned you shared a more clear idea of what it was that you wanted. You wanted things to be a little odd but as real as possible. This helped your producers and sound engineers adjust what they were doing a bit to make editing easier on themselves. At some point Harry was at the help of the control panel, pressing buttons and raising and lowering settings, asking you to go again.

“Hey man, how about in that bit there where she ends the bridge, she does the final chorus in an octave lower and we fade it out from studio into the raw audio. I believe this is one of the songs where the demo is from her voice notes.” Ricky suggested and Harry smiled.

“Yeah actually, that’s sick.” He nodded and then he told you what Ricky was thinking. “He says we can layer them and blend it, so just try the chorus in a lower octave and the rest will be done via editing.” He instructed and gave him a thumbs up before running it again. 

After another couple of hours of working, your day was coming to an end. Everyone started cleaning up after themselves and you invited Ricky to Melissa’s place and soon he was heading off and assuring you he’d be there later. Harry was chatting with one of the other sound engineers, Billy, as you looked around the space one final time to ensure you weren’t leaving anything behind for the night.

“I was just telling Harry that now what you were asking of us makes a lot more sense.” Billy said and you chuckled.

“See. I wasn’t crazy!”  

“Yeah… it’s gonna be cool, what you’re doing.”

“Thank you. I think so too. I mean, I know I enjoy those kinds of things when I listen to music, so I hope others like it as well.”

“Oh yeah, people are suckers for that.” He smiled, “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Billy said to you, “And it was nice to meet you.” He said to Harry, “Will you be joining us again?”

“Ummm…” Harry said as he glanced over to you.

“Well, you’re always welcome. You know that.” You said to him and he smiled.

“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said and Billy chuckled. You guys exchanged a few more words before Billy headed out.

“So where are you staying?” You asked as you put things into your tote bag.

“Not sure yet. I don’t know how long I’m staying for, so I didn’t want to book a hotel indefinitely, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” You hummed, “Well if you need a place to crash for a bit I’ve got an extra room. Caitlyn already claimed one room.” You said and he chuckled.

“Of course she has…” he grinned and you smiled, “Well yeah, if it’s no bother. And like, I know that I came for you-”

“That’s what she said.” You slipped in and he laughed and rolled his eyes as you giggled.

“Real funny…now, I know that I came here to see you, but I’d also understand if you didn’t want me in your house.” He chuckled.

“I’d love you in my house.” You said and he smiled.

“Then let’s get going.” He responded and you grinned.

*****************

“Welcome!” You chirped as you opened the back door to let Harry in with his big ass suitcase.

“Thanks.” He chuckled.

“Do you remember where my room is?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well yours is the one right beside it.” You said and he nodded and took off. You put your bag down to wash the tumbler you used for your coffee that morning. And after that you headed off to get changed. When you passed by Harry was just stripping off his pants and you turned away quickly before rushing into your room. You first got your shirt off and then got your make up off. You’d be swimming anyway, so it was pointless to have it on. Once you got done with that you went to pick out a bathing suit which you quickly changed into. You were throwing your skirt back on when Harry announced himself. “What’s up?” You asked and he came over to your closet.

“Nothing, just wondering what was taking you so long.”

“Oh, sorry. I was taking off my makeup. Let me just grab a shirt.” You said and just grabbed the first one within reach and threw it on. You slid your feet into your sandals and then tugged at his shirt as you breezed past him. “Let’s go.”

“Hey…hey, hey, hey come here.” He said reaching around you and stopping you as you giggled.

“What?” You asked him and he just hugged you and released a long exhale. You smiled and rubbed over his back softly, fingers dancing across his shirt as you held him for a little while. 

“I’m really happy to be here.” He spoke quietly.

“Oh me too, H. I missed you a lot. It was getting hard not to hear from you.” You spoke softly before tiptoeing and kissing low on his cheek. His lips twitched up in a little smile and you ran your thumb over his bottom lip. He kissed the pad of your thumb a couple times before letting you go and grabbing your face, pulling you in closer to him.

“Can I?” He asked and you nodded quickly. 

Just a moment later his lips were pushing and pulling against your own slowly in a deep and emotional kiss. It was nostalgic and magical; your body felt alive and tingly all over. Moreover, the raw emotion of the tension finally bursting was overwhelming in the best way. It felt like you had just jumped into a cool pool on a hot summer’s day. You were so in the moment that you forgot to breathe, so you suddenly pulled back to do so. And his mouth chased after yours, pecking around your lips as you inhaled sharply. When your eyes blinked open and met his, you smiled and his cheeks went all warm and pink. Suddenly you were transported back to the time when you had kissed for the very first time. He was smiling then too, relieved to have kissed you. And you were in mental shambles as you relished in what had just happened. It felt like the beginning again. He started to pull back and you arched up and kissed him again.

“Not yet.” You whispered and he sighed and pulled you closer. His thumbs stroked over your cheeks as your lips met over and over again in soft little pecks in between deep kisses. Your noses nuzzled against each other for a few seconds.

“D’you wanna drive?”

“Yeah, sure.” You smiled and were heading off a few minutes later.

****************

Harry was actually having a nice time at this pool party/dinner thing. He was glad he had come because he needed the distraction. He was afraid of the conversation he was going to have with you about polyamory and how he believed that he fit under this category. He was nervous because of how this had impacted his previous relationship. He had spent the past couple months talking to his therapist every couple of weeks on the phone to help him through the depression and grief of his relationship. His therapist mentioned that a friend of hers is a sex therapist and she asked him if he would be interested in having her come sit in on a few of their sessions and then take the lead for a few about this new discovery he had made about himself and he agreed and he would be meeting her for the first time the following day.

He had also been keeping a keen eye on the interactions between you and Ricky. Ricky and him kept making awkward eye contact and he was acting really relaxed with you. He figured it was because Ricky was a bit intimidated or still feeling weird about him walking in on you guys. Either way, Harry was being more of a spectator for now.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” You asked as you came up to him after emerging from the pool.

“Nothing, just watching everyone. Thinking…”

“About?”

“Me. You. Us…” he said as he made space on the big chaise lounge he was on. 

He patted the space beside him and you climbed on, legs crossed as you faced him and you extended your hand out towards his and just grazed your fingers over his own discreetly before pulling away. This little gesture transported Harry back to your fifth date. He remembered it so clearly, you guys had gone out to eat and even though you had a private dinging area, he still wouldn’t hold your hand because he was worried that someone might see and then it would all get out and things would surely go to shit. He remembered because he did that same gesture to you that you’d just done to him. Just a feather of a touch to ease your need and want to be closer to him in that moment. 

“Did you feel…invalidated when we were together?” He asked, seemingly out of the blue and you hummed pensively. “Like not seen or maybe…less important than you were to me?”

“Maybe a little bit at the start but it went away quickly. I knew it was because of the band and all those crazy rules they had for you guys.” You said and he nodded, “But after all that ended I was expecting you to change a little bit? Lax up about being together in public and things like that.” You explained, “I didn’t feel like you hid us because I wasn’t good enough for you. I know all that was sort of a deal breaker for you then, so I just went along with it because I mean, I hadn’t dated anyone with your level of fame before. I just figured you knew the best way to deal and go about that.” You shrugged and he hummed.

“What you did just now, touched my hand?” He said and you nodded, urging him to continue, “I did that to you, on our fifth date. You just wanted to hold my hand over the table top at the restaurant.” He chuckled sadly, “And I wouldn’t. Do you remember?” 

“Vaguely.”

“We were in some tiny little private dining room…” he reminded you.

“Oh yeah…” you hummed.

“I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“That.” He said and you hummed. “I wish I had been braver. And I feel the same now. I think if I had listened to other people and been more open and braver about the things I think or feel sometimes then maybe I wouldn’t be so carelessly hurtful towards others.”

“You’re not a hurtful person, H. At least not intentionally. You have concerns and fears and doubts like everyone else and sometimes that can affect how you relate to and interact with others. But I mean, you dealt with things the best way you knew how at the time, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then, good. You did your best to protect what we had and I trusted you and your approach. I don’t hold it against you.” You said and he nodded.

“So just now then, you didn’t do that because you’re like…conditioned to be unaffectionate towards me in public?” He asked and you smiled and shook your head.

“No, it was just a little reassuring thing.”

“Okay.” He smiled, “You can, by the way. I want to hold your hand.” He said as he reached for yours resting flat over your thigh.

“Oh, like right now?” 

“Yeah. Can I?” He asked.

“Yeah, if you want to.” You smiled.

“Do you want me to though?”

“Yeah!” You laughed a bit and he smiled and pulled your hand into the small space between your bodies. His fingers intertwined with yours and you smiled up at him.

The one thing that you kept feeling was eager anticipation. You loved Harry at the core of who he was and every part of him that you’d known and experienced over the years. The prospect of getting to know him again, this version of him that you were the most unfamiliar with, it was exciting. Even just being around him you felt in tune, on the same wave length as him. When your gazes met you felt curiosity and interest in understanding what was going on in his brain in a far deeper way than before. You’d happily spend the rest of your days learning about him and loving who he was now and who he would become over time. You smiled to yourself as you thought of him in 10-15 years, with you. Happy, fulfilled, it was making you emotional.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” He asked softly.

“You.” You responded, you didn’t mean for it to come out as a whisper, but it did. You were just so in your head now as you gave thought to all of this. To all of him.

“What about me? You seem like you’re about to cry.” He said lowly with a bit of concern.

“They’d be happy tears then.” You assured him and he smiled. “Was just thinking about you, how far you’ve come. Well, the both of us, and how I’m jus so excited t-to get to know you again. And just thinking about the future, like…what we can have. Like…we’re different than…five years ago, you know?”

“Yeah, a little more grown up.” He smiled.

“A lot more grown up.” You chuckled, “And I think it could only get better the older we get.” You said and he smiled.

“It will.” He said decisively, “I’m also excited about getting to know you in a deeper way again.” He said and you smiled as a comfortable silence took over for a minute or so. But then he spoke up again, “Honestly, I don’t think there’s a reality in which I wouldn’t be in love with you.” He confessed with a bashful smile and your gaze softened as it met his own, “I mean that.”

“I know. I feel the same way.” You responded, your heart was pounding so hard you felt it in your throat. 

Harry just smiled and let his thumb smooth over your knuckles as you just looked at each other. His eyes flickered between your own, taking in every possible detail. He loved how the sun streaks showed off the pattern of your irises. He loved how you looked back at him with so much adoration. He wanted everything with you. He couldn’t even contain the fluttering feeling in his tummy as he thought about you when you had a baby with him and looked at them the way you were looking at him now. With love, acceptance, pride, and every other good feeling and intention you could muster up.

“I need you to know that we’re making it this time.” He whispered and you nodded.

“Yeah we are.” You whispered back with a smile.

*********************

You were quite nervous as you made it back from the studio the next day. You’d had a great and productive day and you hoped Harry had too. You were feeling a vast range of emotions as you tried to picture where the conversation would end up. Especially after the intimate things you had told each other the evening before. You had even called your mom on your lunch break to just get all the irrational, anxiety inducing things off of your chest. She was excited for the possibility of you and Harry working things out after all this time. She and your father loved how he looked after you and were very supportive of your relationship with him back then and it was no different now, he and his family had left a really great impression on them. And your family on his, you still spoke to Anne and Gemma and a few of his cousins for birthdays and little things like that. Obviously, you kept a respectful distance, especially since he dated quite quickly after, but you had grown to love the people in his life too. 

“Hello?” You spoke out into the car when you answered his incoming call.

“Hey, love. Just checking if I can open any of the wine bottles you have? Or are some special?”

“Nah, have at it.” You assured him.

“Perfect. Are you close by?”

“Yeah, about 10 minutes away.”

“Great! See you soon.” He hummed, “Be safe.”

“Thanks, H.” You hummed and he hung up.

*****************

As soon as you made it inside you were greeted with an absolutely divine aroma and “Always Alright” by Alabama Shakes was playing from the kitchen. You bopped your head along as you pushed the door back and it landed into the frame with a loud thump.

“I’m home!” You called out as you toed out of your sneakers and just as you were about to make it to the living room Harry was coming to the entrance with a glass of wine for you in hand. 

“Hey, how was it today?”

“Good, we wrapped up the ones that might be the singles so it was a productive day.” You said with a smiled as you guys hugged briefly and kissed cheeks.

“That’s great.” He hummed as he handed over the glass and you thanked him softly before taking a sip.

“Mmmm.” Your eyebrows perked up as the sour and crisp wine tingled on your tongue. “Which one did you open?” You only had three bottles of white wines as it wasn’t your favorite variety. So the flavors of it were not as obvious to you.

“The chablis.” 

“Oh…good choice.” You complimented and he smiled.

“Yeah?” You nodded and he hummed. “Well c’mon then.” He said and you followed after him to the kitchen.

“How was your day?” You asked.

“Also quite productive. I found two potential places, so there’s that.”

“And in therapy?”

“Really good too.” He smiled and you nodded.

“Good. I’m glad.” You hummed, “Do you need my help with anything?”

“No, just sit. Wanna plate it all nice for you.” He said and you smiled.

“Wow, thank you.” 

“Of course.” He smiled as he plated up the baby potato and veg mix on the plate and then he lifted the sheet of tin foil placed over the pan on the stove, “They had some really great sea bass fillets at Erewhon. I couldn’t resist.” He hummed.

“How much did they cost you?” You asked with a grin and he chuckled.

“I’m not ready to talk about it.” He mumbled with a smirk and you giggled. “Here you are love.” He said handing you a plate and you grabbed it quickly.

“Wow, so beautiful.” You complimented, “The skin is so crisp.” You slightly moaned as you ran your fork over it. “I’m so excited to eat this.” You praised him and bit down on your lip in excitement. Harry grinned bashfully as he served up his own plate and soon he was settling in beside you and then you guys started eating. You made some light conversation and hummed to the music playing in the background of your conversation while you guys ate your dinner. Everything was so delicious you even went in for another helping of the veggies. “Wow…this is may be on of the best things I’ve eaten in a long time.” You said in satisfaction. “The fish was so buttery. It just melted in your mouth…damn.” You smiled, “You did so good! I’m so impressed.” You chuckled.

“Yeah?” He smiled as he reached for your hand and you nodded again. “Glad you liked it. Got the recipe from Shellie.” He said and you hummed.

“Ooh nice. She’s a good cook.” You recalled and he nodded.

“And I made some cereal milk panna cotta for desert. Should be set by now.”

“Ooh, fancy!” You chirped with excitement. You washed the remaining dishes as he brought out the panna cottas and then headed over to your patio, he balanced the little ramekins in one hand as he unlatched the glass door and slid it open and stepped outside. You dried your hands and grabbed your glasses of wine as you headed over as well and cozied into one of the seats outside.

“So?” You asked and he smiled at you.

“So…I think that I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I am probably polyamorous.” He explained and you nodded in understanding.

“Okay and what does that…look like for you?” You asked him.

“Ummm…for me it’s largely about the fact that I can connect romantically with multiple people simultaneously. I have felt it before but just thought of it as like a crush…because I had never fully fallen in love with any of those people or just stopped myself from talking to them more because I was already seeing someone. And I mean, to me, you’re the biggest love of my life. And when we didn’t work I just…I wanted to feel that way again and so I searched for it and I did fall in love with Olivia and Taylor all w-while being in love with you the entire time. I see now that I buried what I felt for you, but it was never gone.” He explained and you nodded in understanding, “I told Taylor once that she wasn’t competing with you for my love, that I loved you and loved her in your own unique ways. D-does that make sense to you?”

“Yeah, H. It does.” You assured as you dipped into your panna cotta and he hummed ‘good’ before he did the same. You sat silently for a little bit, watching the sun starting to move closer and closer to the horizon.

“And say, what if we get married and somewhere along the way I…fall in love with someone else? Can you accept that?” He asked and you shrugged.

“I can tell you that I can right now…but I mean, maybe that will change if we get married or have kids or something…” you said with all honesty. “But I mean, i-if that’s how it is then I’d expect to have boundaries or rules for what’s acceptable if we’re the married ones.”

“Yeah, I get that.” He nodded, “So, my therapist brought in a friend of hers, a sex therapist, t-to talk about this with me. To answer any questions and to help prep me for this talk I wanted to have with you.” He explained and you nodded urging him to go on, “So poly people can have different types of relationships and she was explaining them to me to see what resonated with me the most and I think a hierarchal approach or a polyfidelity approach is more in line with me.” He explained and you nodded.

“Okay, so what does that mean?”

“So in the hierarchal one the main relationship is the priority. So say we started a relationship, to me that would be my main relationship. If I met anyone who I was interested in I would run that by you. Like we would work out what any other potential partners would have access to together. And polyfidelity can be like, I have two relationships but they’re closed relationships on both ends. And well, it’s not like I’d actively be seeking out someone else to involve in my life, this is just an option in case I meet someone who I develop feelings for. I have no desire to have an open relationships or even sexual or dating relationships with other people just because. I would only want that if I even met anyone that I just had that deep of a connection with.” He explained.

“So like with Taylor…if she was okay with this…what would you prefer or?”

“I would kind of leave that up to her. I think she might have preferred a hierarchal thing though. Where if we were together first then that relationship is the priority and together we could set the boundary for what our relationship would look like. So say she was only fine with us dating and sleeping together when I was in California, then that’s what we would have. I think that a polyfidelity thing would be what I’d prefer in that case. I mean, I know that you guys wouldn’t be sleeping with other people, just me. And I wouldn’t say either one was more important than the other, we wouldn’t even have to do things together, each relationship would be what it is.” He said and you hummed as you gave it some thought.

“Wouldn’t that be…exhausting?” You asked and he chuckled.

“I don’t know…maybe.” He said pensively, “But like…to me, the way Taylor loved me didn’t feel the same as the way you love me, and vise versa. And then the way I loved you both also came out differently. I didn’t feel more for you than her, but it was just different. Does that… make sense to you?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, that’s extremely logical.” You said and he chuckled.

“Are you just saying that?” He questioned skeptically.

“No!” You giggled, “I’m serious. I mean, there’s this quote from Ted Lasso that I really love and that I live by now. The quote is: “All people are different people.” And I mean, it’s so obvious and simple, but it’s something that we forget far too easily. So when you say that the way you felt love from and for us was different, it makes sense. Each person loves differently and has different needs. Our energies are different, you know? Of course it feels different with another person. Each relationship is going to be as unique as the people in it.”

“Right, it’s not like a competition between who I love more.” He said and you nodded.

“Right.” You confirmed and he smiled and then frowned. “What it is?”

“I don’t think I had the proper words to explain this to Taylor when I first told her about you. Maybe if I had more knowledge or simply just accepted and understood this part of myself before I could’ve hurt her less. Like, I’ve apologized and explained and we’ve forgiven each other for any hurt we caused each other, but I just…feel bad for how I affected her.”

“Yeah, of course. That’s understandable. I’m glad you guys got to talk that out eventually though. Is she better now? When was the last time you saw her?”

“Ummm, early June?” He hummed, “She looked so much lighter than when we were together. She was back to her old self and it was hard to see how badly what we had was affecting her.” He explained, “That’s really what pushed me into the depression phase. Just seeing how much better off she was without me. It just…fed my fear that I only hurt the people I love.” He said and you hummed. 

“Do you think that if you’d known this about yourself with certainty before that she would’ve been alright with it?”

“Absolutely not.” He chuckled, “Her concern was that I’d start to love you more than her and like fall out of love with her and just leave her for you.”

“Mmm, well at the risk of sounding like a total dick…isn’t that just what happens when a relationship starts to…fall apart? You start to fall out of love with someone for whatever reason? Like that’s just what can happen to anyone. It’s part of the general risk of being in a relationship, no?” You asked and he chuckled.

“That’s basically what I said to her one time. I just said it less delicately, but it really offended her. But it’s the truth, feelings can change at any time for any number of reasons. And I mean, I did love her, I think I still do a little bit, obviously.” He said and you nodded, “But I’m starting to move past it. See with you I…thought I was moving past it.” He said, “Thought that this whole time. The sex therapist? She was basically saying that in me moving on so quickly, I was just…distracting myself from having to properly move on from you basically. And like…seeing each other again after so long, I mean…it just brought everything up for me again and it almost felt like we had broken up a week before. I missed you terribly and I was constantly thinking about you and Sebastian and I just…I had to say something to Taylor about it.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” You said and he sighed.

“I guess, I’m still figuring things out in terms of this polyamory thing. But again, I just want to reassure you that I’m not actively seeking another partner, nor am I interested in dating or sleeping with other people at this time. If it happens, it happens, but obviously if it takes away from what we have going together then our relationship would take priority over that. I do believe that we connect in a very special and extraordinary way. I love and miss what we had before, but after seeing you again last year and with the time we’ve spent together already I absolutely cannot wait to see how good we can be together this time around.” He said and you smiled and just got up and climbed into his lap and hugged him tight.

“I love you.” You hummed and he sighed in relief.

“I love you too.” He answered as he hugged your waist tight for a few moments until you pulled back from him to be able to look into his eyes.

“So where do we go from here? What are you comfortable with?” You asked him.

“Well, we don’t have to rush into a relationship. I mean, I know we love each other, but I want to date you. I want to reacquaint myself with you and fall in love with the you, you are now all over again.” He said and you smiled a bit, “I also want to make sure that I’m not using us a distraction to finish moving on from Taylor.” He said and you nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” You agreed, “I mean, if you still have feelings for her do you think that maybe you might want to keep that door open?” You asked him and he shook his head.

“Yeah, she’s not on board with the polyamory thing at all. It just wouldn’t work for her.”

“Right…right.” You said and he nodded.

“Ummm baby, I have to ask because I can’t stop thinking about it.” He sighed and you nodded, “Wh-what’s the situation with Ricky?” He asked, evidently he was a bit nervous about asking you, you could see it in his eyes.

“It’s still just a friends with benefits thing. We don’t really hook up on the regular, like it’s not a planned, routine thing we do. It’s more opportunistic.” You explained.

“So the other day was like a fluke, basically?”

“For sure. I would never normally do something like that, especially while we’re in a professional setting.” You explained, “But I was just a little more…needy than usual.” You chuckled.

“Mmm, I see. I only ask because if I’m gonna stay here for a bit, like I just don’t want to make you guys feel weird if he’s like constantly around or staying over too.” He explained. “Like we kept making awkward eye contact yesterday at the pool party thing and like…yeah. I’m not…like it’s not a jealousy thing. I’m not jealous of him.” He said quickly.

“Just fuming inside a little?” You teased, repeating his words from the other day at the studio.

“Yeah, just a bit.” He chuckled, “Still.” He confessed.

“Don’t. To answer your question more seriously, Ricky doesn’t stay overnight here. Ever. And I don’t stay overnight at his either. We literally do the most to not blur any lines even more than they already are.” You explained.

“So you just…fuck and go?” He asked.

“It’s not that transactional.” You chuckled. “It’s usually after we’ve gone out with friends or just hung out together. And if we both want to hook up we do and then we go our separate ways.” You explained. “We really don’t do sleepovers or even like lovey-dovey things like cuddles or holding hands. It’s just the sexual favors bit. Like we might lay around for a bit, but we just talk, we don’t like…hold each other and…bask in the afterglow.” You said with a giggle and he nodded.

“And it doesn’t feel….empty? Without the soft bits?” He asked you more seriously.

“Of course it does.” You smiled a bit sadly, “I think it does for the both of us. He’s hung up on someone else and well…same.” You said and he smiled and nodded, “So we just hook up when we’re both feeling in the mood for it. So we really are friends first and the benefits are there when needed.” You explained and he nodded in understanding.

“So if it’s one of those times when you guys talk afterwards, like is it feedback about the sex or just random conversation?” He asked.

“Just conversations. Like sometimes we talk about the people we miss and things about them. We talk about how we’re feeling afterwards, like sometimes when that post-coital haze is lifted you just get so sad, you know? So we talk about that and try and figure out why we might feel sad. We talk about what the point of all of it is…I think we’ve achieved a rather deep level of friendship from this.” You said pensively.

“And you don’t like him even just a little bit?” He asked you.

“I mean, of course I do. I hook up with him, don’t I?” You chuckled and he did as well, “But it’s very surface level. We did talk about that one time, about what would happen if we ended up together. We both decided it would be a no-go.” You chuckled, “He’s just so…unworried and unbothered by everything. Doesn’t really plan or anything and well, you know how that drives me crazy. Especially with the job we have.” You said and he chuckled and nodded. “I’m definitely more balanced with my time now than I was before but it’s because I’ve been able to schedule and plan and whatnot. Like he’s kind of the type to get bored on a Tuesday and drive down to TJ with a friend or his sister because they want tacos from Taconazo. Like, I don’t have the same freedom to just do things on a whim without it throwing a bunch of things out of whack for myself.”

“Right.” He hummed, “So you…like him? Like you’re into him?” He asked and you looked at him quite perplexed, “Like in the way you like me?” He clarified.

“Are you asking if I like him more than you? Or are you asking if I…like him and you? Simultaneously.” You asked and he nodded. “I mean, I do like you both, but not in the same way as you do. Like, I definitely like you more, I mean, I love you, you know? I wouldn’t be able to love you and him. I would have to choose.” You said and he smiled.

“And you’d choose me.” He said quite confidently and you rolled your lips into each other to prevent your lips from widening in a grin as you shrugged. “Baby.” He pressed more seriously and you giggled.

“I mean…”

“Say it then.” He smiled smugly.

“Why? If you already know?” You asked.

“Because. I want to hear you say it for me.” He insisted. “Tell me you’d choose me. Every single time.” He hummed with a smile and you grabbed his face tenderly and leaned in until your lips were pressed together. 

Harry hummed in satisfaction as his hands slid down your waist and to your hips. His thumbs gently kneaded at the pudgy part of your hips. You giggled when it tickled you a bit and he chuckled before sucking on your bottom lip a bit. Your eyes fluttered open and met his lustful gaze. You could feel him hardening up beneath you as he leaned back in for a hungry kiss. Your lips moved sloppily, it was all tongue and heavy breathing as your slid down and held at the side of his neck. His hands were groping at your butt now, smoothing his big warm palms over them, helping you grind over him and feel his obvious need for you. You pulled back and pecked his lips a few times before taking a proper breath.

“I choose you, baby.” You confirmed quietly between the two of you. He looked into your eyes, his lust was evident.

“It would be wise to stop, wouldn’t it?” He asked and you giggled and nodded before kissing him a few more times and hugging him tight. After a few moments you pulled back and smiled at him and he bit his lip and reached around the back of your neck and pulled you down and kissed you deeply once more.

…. A FEW WEEKS LATER ….

It was your birthday and you were having fun so far at the little dinner party you had thrown yourself at your place. You felt pretty in the short black linen dress you’d chosen for yourself. You were nursing a cocktail as you chatted with those who had already arrived, you were waiting for a few more people, including Harry. You had hired on a private chef to take care of dinner tonight so that you could enjoy with everyone, after all, you only turn thirty once.

“So when did Harry move out of here?”

“A few weeks ago? He only stayed about a week. He was able to find himself a decent sized house really quickly. It was furnished, so it was rather convenient, it’s cute.” You smiled as you shared this with Melissa who nodded.

“That’s great!”

“Yeah.” You smiled in agreement.

“Sooo…any progress?” she asked with an expecting look.

“We’re not talking about that.” You said to her and she sighed in some disappointment.

“Fine.” She said with a smile. You appreciated that she didn’t push any further.

In truth, you and Harry had been mostly seeing each other at the studio after he left your house. You had both been scared into keeping things extremely platonic after that dinner he had prepared for you when you guys talked about your future. You had said you were going to take it slow and ended up half naked on your bed just about to initiate sex when you asked him to stop in a panic. The entire week he stayed with you the sexual tension was completely overboard, but you both knew it was for the best to not get involved with each other like that yet. So it was quite a big relief to you both when he left and you only saw each other at the studio. This would be his first time back at your place after he left so you were a little bit nervous in all honestly, which is why you had refused taking a shot three times already, you needed to be fully sober in order to not act impulsively.

“Harry!” You heard Caitlyn greet him excitedly from inside. You straightened up a bit and sucked a bit more of your drink though the straw. “Harry’s here!” Caitlyn announced as she led him out and everyone greeted him happily as he approached you and you smiled and stood to hug him.

“Happy birthday.” He hummed as he squeezed you tightly, “Welcome to thirty.” He said as he pulled back and you smiled.

“Thank you.” You chuckled.

“You look beautiful.” He said more quietly, his compliment slightly drowned out by everyone’s chatter.

“Oh, thank you.” You said as you glanced down at your dress quickly and then back into his eyes. He licked over his lips as he scanned over your face and then smiled bashfully when he realized he’d been caught.

“Sorry.” He hummed and you smiled.

“It’s alright. Ummm, have a seat.” You said gesturing to the table and well, the only spots available were at the further end of the table.

“You can sit here, Harry. I actually need to talk to Ben.” Melissa said as she stood up and headed further down the table.

“May I?” Harry asked and you nodded.

“Of course.” You agreed and he sat there. It’d been two or three days since you’d spoken, you were busy finalizing everything with the party and Harry had therapy and some catching up to do with other friends he had in the area.

“So, how’s it been planning all this?”

“A little stressful, but I think it ended up well.” You smiled and he nodded.

“Yeah, it looks really nice. S’a simple, little thing. I like that.” He said and you nodded.

“Yeah, thank you.”

“I ummm, I got you something that I want to show you later, I-if I can hang out a little after everyone goes.”

“Oh okay.” You nodded and he smiled. Your curiosity was piqued and all throughout the evening you kept thinking back on this and wondering what it could be. 

You were having a nice time with everyone, you guys were playing games and sharing stories. You had a delicious, fresh peach pie instead of a cake and everyone seemed so delighted with that choice. The chef really knocked it out of the park with that one. Afterwards, there was a bit of karaoke but when it hit 10:30 you guys started to wind down as to not disturb your neighbors. Slowly, your friends started to head out one by one, congratulating you once more on your birthday and you were thanking them for coming as you walked them out to their cars. Harry, Caitlyn, Ricky, and Melissa had stayed inside talking a bit more but you suspected that they were also getting ready to go, well except Harry. You guys hung around a bit more, the glances between you and Harry were nothing short of obvious and frequent, so being the one person to read the room, Ricky suddenly stood up.

“Well, it’s almost 11:30, we should go.” He said as he stretched his arms above his head a bit and once they got his hint, Caitlyn and Melissa stood as well. You and Harry followed them to the door and you all said your goodbyes. “Don’t be scared of falling.” Ricky mumbled quietly against the side of your head and you squeezed him tighter.

“Thank you for everything. Love you, I appreciate you.” You mumbled.

“Me too.” He chuckled before you kissed cheeks and he was hurrying after Melissa and Caitlyn down the little path. 

You and Harry followed after them and waved them off before you locked the gate as Harry made his way back to the house. You felt nervous around him for some reason, like his energy was too great to allow you to breathe, or maybe that was the alcohol…you’d had three cocktails which was already a bit much for you by this point and you were convinced your friends made your last one a double without your permission. Regardless, you were smiling at him while he watched you come up.

“What’s wrong?” He asked and you shook your head.

“You’re making me nervous.” You chuckled.

“What? Why?”

“This mystery gift thing!” You scoffed as you guys made it inside and he locked up behind you.

“Yeah alright, fair.” He smiled as you headed to the kitchen.

“Want some water?” You asked as you headed into the kitchen.

“Please. Benny made the last drinks a double and that awful taste is not leaving my mouth.” He confessed with a slight grimace.

“I knew it!” You gasped and he chuckled, “They were trying to get me to do shots before you arrived.” You said and he chuckled.

“Well good thing you declined. You really don’t want a hangover at thirty.” He laughed and you did as well and soon you were both having a bit of water and then he sighed.

“Okay, well it’s two things.” He said and you nodded, “First gift is this…” he said pulling his phone out and after several moments of waiting, he looked back to you, “You should check your email. The personal one.” He said and you nibbled on you lip and went to grab your phone that was on the other side of the kitchen counter. You open up your email account and saw the link to a ticket and when you opened it up your free hand flew over your mouth and your eyes welled up.

“No…but th-these sold out in like five minutes!” You gasped in surprise at the Joni Mitchell ticket waiting to be accepted by you.

“I’m her friend.” He said simply and you shook your head in disbelief. 

She was playing two dates at the Hollywood Bowl and despite your best efforts during the sale in February, they sold out in moments. It was a bittersweet thing, seeing artists that were such icons and legends performing what would surely be some of their last shows ever. Being able to make it to things like this made for priceless memories and well, you grew up with Joni Mitchell, like Harry did, and you both loved her. It was one of the things that you both had in common and made friends over when you first started talking, so she meant a lot to the both you. “We’ve got a private box. We’re right up near the front so we can see it all!” He said excitedly, “And we get to meet her beforehand, if you want.” He said and you set your phone down and shook your head in disbelief.

“This is extraordinarily thoughtful, H.” You said with a wide smile.

“Our first concert out in the open. No fear, no worries, just us.” He said and you hurried over to him and hugged him tight.

“This is honestly so amazing.” You sighed as you squeezed him tight and he kissed the top of your head. “I can’t wait to do this with you.” You said happily.

“Me either. It’s going to be so good.” He said with certainty and you nodded against his chest before pulling back and peering up at him.

“Can I kiss you?” You asked him and he chuckled.

“Always.” He hummed and you laughed and tip-toed a bit more and your lips met in a sweet and chaste kiss.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” You gave him another kiss with each ‘thank you’ and he was a smiley and blushing mess before you. “My parents are going to die when they hear about this.”

“Well, part two…they’re coming as well.” He said and you pulled away.

“No.”

“Yeah!” He laughed happily and you shook your head.

“Harry.”

“I swear it. Your mum and dad, and my mum and her boyfriend. A proper date night. Though the meeting bit is just for us two.” He added and you were crying now, it seemed something ridiculous, but it was a full circle moment.

“This is so nice of you.” You whispered as you hugged him again.

“Hey, look at me, my love.” He hummed and you glanced up at him, “It’s not just a concert, you know? I want to do this with you and with our parents t-to also show them that it’s not just a for fun thing. This is about the future. Our future.” He said and you nodded. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, “I’m gonna kiss you for real now.” You said and he chuckled.

“Yeah, do it. Please.” He insisted and you chuckled.

Your lips were soon colliding gently and moving in an improvised but effortless dance together. You relaxed in his arms, you loved the warmth of his hands around your waist and then traveling down to your hips as he held you tight. It was a feat as challenging as the greek mythological quests trying to keep your composure around him. Everything just felt so easy and right when you were together, it always had. But now it was even stronger than before, you could feel the love emanating from him as you held each other and kissed passionately.

“Baby,” he mumbled, “can I…say something?” He asked and you nodded and pulled back from the kiss but he chased after you and kissed you deeply again before also keep the distance so he could speak properly. “I know we said no more jumping into things with people but you’re not just anyone, you know?” He said and you smiled a bit, “The love I have for you has been here the whole time. I’m not burying the hurt by wanting to be with you, it’s not like that with you, you know that.” He said and you nodded, “I want to be with you. I want to a relationship with you. I don’t want to wait anymore, I’ve already wasted so much time.” He said and you caressed his cheek with your thumb, “And I…I see the woman you’ve become. How you’ve grown and blossomed so beautifully-”

“You too!” You sniffled and he smiled.

“Thank you.” He chuckled, “But ummm…I don’t want to miss out on this. On you. It’s different with you, you know that.” He said, “Let’s do this again. Be my girlfriend, please?” He asked and you laughed happily and kissed him.

“Yeah. I will.” You whispered against his lips.

“You will what?” He asked with a grin and kissed you a few times, awaiting your response.

“I’ll be your girlfriend.” You said breathlessly with a smile. 

Harry was beaming and his hand came around the back of your neck, holding you gently as he dipped down and you kissed once again. He was slower this time, but the intensity was still at all time high. You felt your lust for him simmering steadily, nearly ready to bubble over into a boil with whatever move he’d make next. Your skin was tingling, excited to feel his touch once again.

“Can I take you to your room?” He asked, his lips gently smearing against your cheek as he spoke and then kissed you there.

“Yes.” You confirmed and he found your hand and led you through your house until you were bursting through the door and he was kissing you ardently as you walked backwards into the dim, cool room. His hands slid down your waist and landed over your backside, he caressed over it and gave your cheeks a light squeeze.

“I miss being able to do that.” He chuckled and you laughed a bit. You weren’t as thin as the people he had dated lately, so there was a little more to grab onto. You didn’t mind it, you were happy with yourself and you knew you were healthy, so you didn’t feel bad or find a need to even compare and it was relieving to you that he felt the same. “You’re exquisite. You know that right?” He asked and you smiled timidly at his compliment.

“How about you show me show exquisite you are first.” You suggested and he chuckled and was quick to take a step back and pull off his shirt, not even bothering with the buttons. 

Like a moth to a flame, you were right up against him again, kissing down his neck lightly. Trying not to smile too much as you traveled down to his pecs and the smattering of hair between them tickled your nose a little as you smooshed a kiss over his sternum. Your hands slid up his abs, you could feel his tummy flex a bit from the tickles your light touches were causing. You continued sliding it up until your index finger was hooking into the chain of his trusty pendant with the Jesus and penis charms. You tugged it down a bit before arching up into him and kissing him again. His hands slid up your back, his fingers feeling around for the pull on the zipper for your dress. 

“It’s on the right side.” You guided him and he was quick to take his hands there and slid it down. 

Harry helped the straps off of your shoulders, planting kisses on each shoulder blade before letting the dress drop down to the floor. You weren’t wearing a bra with it as the neckline was a bit strange, but he didn’t seem to mind that one bit. He groaned at the sight of your breasts bare before him and he immediately brought his hands up to them and kneaded them gently in his big, warm palms. You sighed in relief and glanced up at him and he seemed to have snapped. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you towards your bed. He sat and pulled you onto his lap in a straddling position and kissed you urgently. His tongue met yours sloppily before he started to kiss down your jaw, then your neck and finally he reached your chest. You arched your back in as he gently sucked on your collar bone and then skimmed his lips down to your right breast before parting them and latching around your nipple, effectively hardening it in a second. You moaned in relief as his blunt nails dug into your back as he started sucking more fervently.

“Yes! That’s so good.” You whimpered as he moaned around you. You peered down, looking at his gorgeously hollowed our cheeks as he sucked and nibbled at your tender little bud before popping off and moving to the other one. He payed it just as much attention, letting you whimper and whine as he went a little harder on you. Your fingers scratched against his scalp and you chuckled as he pulled back, nipple still in his mouth until it inevitably slipped out with a soft popping sound. He buried himself in the crook of your neck and inhaled and then exhaled, sounding relieved.

“I missed the scent of you and your perfume. I’d forgotten how good it is.” He said softly.

“I do too. Even had the same body wash you use for a while.” You said and he pulled away and smiled up at you.

“Yeah, baby?” You nodded.

“I’m never gonna forget again.” He told you with certainty and you smiled and caressed his cheek with the back of your hand. He leaned into your touch and let his eyes close for a moment.

“I’ve imagined this moment so many times.” You whispered and his eyes fluttered open and met yours. He smiled softly, peering up at you with so much love it made your insides flutter. 

“I have too.” He whispered back and kissed your lips quickly. “Hold on tight.” He said and you did and he stood and then had you on the bed as he laid over you.

He started to kiss down your body, you were already so wet for him, but knowing what was coming next practically had your legs trembling preemptively and your walls fluttering in excitement. He didn’t waste time or tease you at all, he needed this as badly as you needed it. He was quick to pull your underwear down your legs and toss it aside as he slid further down, parting your legs so that he could fit between them. He kissed down your mound and up your thighs before he nuzzled right up against your center, his stubble tickling your sensitive skin. You would normally want to be clean shaven if you knew someone was going down on you, just out of convenience, but you knew he didn’t care about that. He groaned happily at your scent and the softness of you against his lips as he puckered them up a bit and kissed at you a little bit, each time nuzzling a bit deeper until he brushed against your clit and you bit your lip in anticipation. 

“Fuck H, please. Please.” You begged and he let go of all the restraint he had inside of him and just let his tongue roll out as he spread your legs further so that he could lap up from your dripping entrance to your clit. He flicked over it a little bit before giving it heavier licks until you were pushing him closer and moaning in pleasure. Your hips were writhing up against his mouth and he moved with you, loving how you were losing yourself in this moment. He then started to gently suck around you as he sensed your growing need. You were soaking wet, making a right mess of his chin and you were obsessed with how he was using his mouth. He’s always been eager to please this was excellent. Clearly, he was well aware of what he could do now and it was amazing, “Fuck baby, that’s so good!” You gasped as he slurped on you until your legs were tensing up as your pleasure started to escalate further and further until they started to tremble. He was incessant, your chest almost burned from how shallow you were breathing, and in seconds you were inhaling sharply and moaning melodiously as your orgasm hit you. “Oh, I’m coming!” You mewled and held him against you as he licked you through it, mumbling about how good you tasted and how much he missed it. He didn’t even warn you when you felt his index finger rubbing at your sopping entrance.

“Can I?”

“Yeah, do it. Please.” You hummed and he gently pushed it inside. He moaned along with you, you were wet enough for another, so he pulled it out and then sunk back in along with his middle finger. His long fingers reached deep into you and rubbed against your walls, going deeper and deeper with each plunge until he had gone deep enough to reach into the soft spongy spot inside of you that had you crying out his name. He kissed up your stomach, waist, chest, and neck all to reach your lips again and breathe in your exhales of pleasure.

“Fuck baby, you’re so tight and warm f’me.” He hummed into your mouth and you nodded, “So good for me.” He muttered and you smiled against his lips. 

Your hands slid down his bare torso and reached down to feel his erection straining against his pants. You rubbed into it, using the heel of your palm to add a bit more pressure. His jaw tensed as he inhaled shakily through his nostrils. You started to rub at him in a matching pace to his fingers sinking into you. You wanted to feel him inside of you desperately. 

“Harry. Baby, I need you.” You whimpered and he nodded and kissed you hard before retreating from you. 

He got off of the bed and reached for his belt buckle, his desperation and eagerness coming through in the form of his shaky hands. He soon got it undone and pulled it out before getting to the button and zipper on them and he tugged them down along with his underwear. He stepped out of them and quickly climbed back over your naked body. Feeling your warmth together like this was something that he’d been thinking of constantly since he’d seen you the year before. He was eager to be close to you in this way and finally, he had it.

“I have condoms in the bathroom, but I also have an IUD.” You informed him and he licked over his lips as his eyes met yours.

“D-do you mind if I go bare? Want to feel you so bad, want to fill you up, want you to feel it all.” He said and you kissed him as you shook your head.

“I don’t mind.” You assured him.

“Sure?”

“Yeah.” You nodded and he kissed you once more, slower this time.

“I’ve only been waiting to have you again for…years?” He chuckled and you did too, “This might be over a little fast. But I assure you, I have far more in me. A couple rounds worth so-”

“It’s fine. Did you not see how fast I came?” You giggled.

“True.” He chuckled and tucked your hair behind your ear, “God, you’re so beautiful.” He complimented. His voice was soft and genuine and the love in his eyes made you feel faint. You leaned up and kissed him.

“I love you.” 

“I love you.” He whispered against your lips. Your kiss deepened and naturally, things started to progress. You pressed your body up into his, feeling his erection laying heavy between the two of you. You raised your hips up to feel it brushing up against your sticky folds and he sighed in relief at the slick warmth that his cock was up against now. “Fuck, put me inside, baby.” He said to you and you angled your up hips up a little bit more and guided him to your entranced. His thick tip prodded at your weepy, little hole, teasing at the entrance. You writhed around, trying to get him inside and he smiled, “That feels so nice.” He said and you smiled, “So wet for me, baby. All for me, isn’t it?”

“Yes, baby. S’all for you.” You confirmed through a needy exhale and he kissed you again and then propelled his weight further forward until there was enough pressure against you that he sunk inside and you gasped in relief as he moaned into your mouth. 

“Fuuuuck.” he moaned as he bottomed out and you whimpered as you felt so full. You swore he was in your lower tummy, he was bigger than you remembered. You recalled that he loved a little bite of pain, so when he wriggled a bit and sunk in a bit further you winced and dug your fingernails into his back. He made the most delicious sound, it made you feral and he started to thrust in slowly but achingly deep, it was making your thoughts completely blank. “You feel so good, baby. Fuck, you’re so good, my love.” He panted in pleasure.

You were covered in goosebumps, relishing in the feeling of intimacy with Harry. With the love of you life. Everything suddenly felt right with the world. Your back was arching because each and every time he was thrusting in, he was hitting a spot that made you feel like you would soon levitate. Your hands roamed the skin of his back, feeling his muscles working to bring you both all the pleasure in the world. It was the most harmonious sex of your life, you were both yearning to be closer than you already were. It was absolutely necessary to get closer. 

While still inside, he pinned your hips down with his and knelt up making you gasp in shock as he got even deeper like this. You suddenly felt strung out as he started to pick up his pace, his hips undulated and ground against yours in the most satisfying ways. You were encouraging him, praising him for how well he was fucking you. He was giving everything to you, you could feel it in his movements and in the rising temperature between the two of you. Damp skin and filthy wet sounds from the place where your bodies were connecting perfectly. You could feel your orgasm starting to build again so you slipped your hand between your bodies and started to rub precise circles into your clit and he moaned.

“Oh, that’s it, baby. Rub your little clit for me, want you come for me.” He encouraged you and you sped up a little more, “Look at me. Please, look at me.” He panted and your eyes slowly blinked open and met his. He smiled softly and pressed his forehead to yours, his gaze burning into you, making you feel like the only other person in the world. “Fuck, it feels so good with you. You feel so good.” He groaned and you whimpered as you started to reach the peak.

“I’m so close, baby!” You warned and he nodded.

“Come for me, love. Let me feel you coming so hard on my cock.” He egged you on and you suddenly felt warm all over as you started to come undone. Everything inside of you was singing beautifully. You felt like you were burning bright, like a dying star, you were crashing and burning, it was a spectacle to behold. “That’s it, baby. That’s so fucking good, fuck you feel so good, love.” He praised you with a smile, “S’gonna make me come…fuck, you’re gonna make me come.” He grunted.

“Yes, baby. Please come inside me. Please give it to me.” You begged as your orgasm continued thanks to his fast and desperate thrusting into you. His eyes blinked shut and his eyebrows furrowed down as his lips fell open and he let out a low moan, “Oh fuck. Fuck, m’gonna fill up your little pussy. Fuck! Oh fuck, Y/n…fuck yeah, baby.” He sighed and then buried himself as deep as he could go and you gasped as you felt his cock twitching inside of you as he painted your insides with his generous load of cum. He was still for a few seconds before grabbing your hair and tugging you up so that he could kiss you. Your lips met sloppily as he started to thrust gently into you. Your abs were burning and your legs were shaking as he continued fucking into you slow, milking every drop of his sperm into you. “I love you. Loveyousomuch.” He slurred against your mouth.

After a few moments you had both settled down, trying your best to catch your breaths as you basked in the warmth, holding each other close. Your fingers scratched at his scalp gently, it felt so nice and relaxing. His lips were kissing at the part of your skin that they could reach while he held you close.

“I’m never letting you go again.” He whispered.

“Good.” You hummed and he smiled.

“This is where I belong. I feel safe with you. I feel seen. I feel…”

“Whole?” You whispered and he nodded.

“Yeah, you make me feel satisfied with myself.” He said and you smiled.

“You make me feel whole too. I love you.”

“I love you.” He hummed, “Forever.” He added with a smile.

.... THE END ....

< Previous Part <

----TAGLIST----

@sunshinemoonsposts @anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellite @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry @cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @reveriehs @ottawaoutlander @jessitpwk @permanentllyharry@here4thefanfics @slutfortigertattoo @angelbabyyy99 @freedomfireflies @behindmygreyeyes @justlemmeadoreyou @thedevilnamedlola @vonnexann @nikkisimps @fairytale07 @polari28

[darkprince1110]

Tylee: what is the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard? I will go first. 

Tylee: fireworks no wait children, giggling

Mai: silence 

Zuko: my moms sing 

Azula: the cracking of flames

Y/n: the sound of my wife’s laughter 

y/n looks at azula and gives her thigh a playful, squeeze 

Azule grits her teeth holding back a giggle 

Azula: also the sound of breaking bones

Azula twists y/n arm 

Y/n grants

Y/n:that to 

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Dating Ozai’s Angels

Including: What they do when they realise they like you, how you get together, how they act when you start dating, what they’re like as a partner, what others think of your relationship, how they defend you, the L word, family, careers, fights, pets and more! 

Team Avatar version here​

​

Azula

As we saw in The Beach episode Azula is confident in everything except flirting so she'd be a mess when she realises she has a crush on you

She'd do the typical immature thing of being mean to you to prove just how much she really doesn't care about you. Then one day she'd go too far and really hurt or upset you. She'd feel that annoying snagging feeling of guilt and attempt to apologise to you but she'd struggle and it would come out wrong.

So the two of you would be at an impasse. You didn't understand why Azula was treating you this way and Azula was at a loss of how to explain her actions without confessing her crush on you. 

Enter clueless Zuko.

Zuko would be the one who would accidentally let it all slip. You're venting to Mai one day and he overhears and is so confused. "But you know she likes you right? That's why she's acting this way". Mai would glare at him and your jaw would wide drop open telling Zuko you didn't know that.

Zuko was convinced Azula was going to murder him and the thought did cross her mind but then you told Azula you felt the same way, her happiness overshadowed her rage.

You started dating and immediately Azula puts on a brave front. She acts very dominant and showy. She takes you out to all the fancy restaurants and buys you tons of expensive clothes and jewels to establish her dominance in the relationship. However it's all an obvious act to cover up her insecurity. She's never dated anyone before and nobody can make her feel the way you do. She tenses up when you walk into a room and her name never sounds as beautiful as when you say it. So Azula is fighting a losing battle trying to keep up this stoic facade and it all falls away the day you call her yours.

You were with Mai, Ty lee and Azula and got into a silly competition as usual. You wanted to see who could throw a helmet the furthest and Azula of course won. However you were trying to share in that victory which Mai protested. "Azula won not you y/n!" she cried. "Yeah but Azula is mine so when she wins I win and vice versa". If it was anyone else trying to share in her glory Azula would've set them on fire but hearing you refer to yourself as her and she as yours...that made her feel all giddy like a silly teenager. She couldn't really speak but just nodded her head and passed you the flower crown Ty Lee had given her as a trophy.

Everyone would be sceptical and a little unconvinced when you both started dating, Zuko and Mai included. They'd all wonder how on earth it was going to work and doubt Azula's intentions with you a little...but then they'd see Azula explode when a nobleman insulted you or how she'd even correct her father when he said your name wrongly and they knew they had nothing to fear.

We also know Azula has a little trouble believing she is lovable and a huge problem with saying the L word. So naturally you say it first. You wait until you've been dating for around 6 months to make sure Azula is comfortable and won't get scared. You do it in private so she won't feel flustered or overwhelmed. Azula is smart so she can tell you have something to say and just outright asks what it is. Your plan was to cook her a nice meal and then tell her but instead you just tell her then and there that you love her. You stress how she doesn't have to say it back but that you just thought she should know. A silence follows and you get back to preparing the food. Azula asks a question about the food and you go along with her change in topic as if nothing happened. Then at the end of the night Azula thanks you for the food and for what you said. You tell her it's no problem and that you meant every word. You see her struggling internally with your words but she nods and doesn't try and dispute your claim.

Azula tells you she loves you randomly, a year and a bit after you've been dating. She's in a mood because the council meeting went badly and all the men were disagreeing with her just because of her age. You started acting silly, imitating the councilmen, to cheer her up and while at first she's not amused she soon starts smiling and then laughing at how goofy you look. "You're such a clown, why on earth do I love you?" she asked. You felt her freeze and looked up to see her watching you like a hawk. You smiled and gently kissed her hand "because I'm the luckiest person in the world". She relaxes in relief and wraps her arms around you. You don’t make a big deal of it but later just before you fall asleep Azula whispers "I do you know... love you I mean. I realised I didn't say it properly earlier". You shook your head "earlier was just perfect but thank you. I love you too Azula". You can't see her blush in the dark or the shock in her eyes when she realises it is true. It is possible for someone to love her but you can feel it. You gather her up into your arms and hold her as she softly cries. In the years to come it remains one of the happiest moments of Azula's life. The day she realised she was loved.

Azula is SUPER supportive of you and your career and knows all the drama about your co-workers. You might think Azula wouldn't care enough to listen to all the small talk and rants you give her after a long day but you'd be wrong. When Azula likes someone she's all in and so she remembers everything you say about Amura the nice girl who is kind to you and Mejai the guy totally flirting with you. Then at any company event she makes sure to mess with all the people you don't like and plays them all wonderfully. She's an involved partner.

She literally cannot believe you have any faults, one time you got rejected for a job and you had to physically restrain her from going down there and causing a scene because HOW COULD THEY NOT WANT YOU?

When you and Azula fight it's dramatic just like the Princess of the Fire Nation herself. Azula has a temper and so sometimes after a long day of putting up with Zuko she can snap at you. You're not the type to take this lying down though and so you challenge her behaviour. Cue an hour of loud arguing with Azula packing a bag to move back to the palace. She never gets out the front door though, it's just an empty threat. You always make up the following morning but of course Azula doesn't beg forgiveness or write you a letter about how sorry she is. She does something like making you breakfast or dropping by your work with lunch. She will say sorry when you're alone together and then all is forgiven.

When you get a pet together, Azula is 100% that person who says she wants nothing to do with the pet and then ends up loving it more than you. I can totally see Azula with a dog that she loves to exercise with and train. You better believe your dog is going to be the fittest, smartest, prettiest dog the Fire Nation has ever seen. 

The best thing about dating Azula would be, you feel so loved and protected. Azula is passionate and being with her feels like a whirlwind of emotions and love. She throws absolutely everything into her relationship with you and there’s nobody better suited to be your partner. 

Mai

Mai is a tough cookie. She doesn't reveal her feelings easily and you'd have no idea she had a crush on you. So for you to get together there'd definitely be another unfortunate soul who sticks their foot in it...probably Ty lee

When Mai realised she was developing feelings for you she'd hate it and distance herself from you. You'd go from seeing her multiple times a week to her very obviously avoiding you which made you worry you'd done something wrong. So you go to her house and ask for her which horrifies Mai. Her home is where she hides away from the world so to have her crush show up on her doorstep is terrifying. In her panic she tells the housekeeper to say she's not in, even though she clearly is. Your worry then turns to sadness as you believe Mai hates you when you thought you were friends.

Ty lee notices the mess Mai has created and tries to convince her to come clean to you but Mai's too scared (not that she'd ever admit that of course). So Ty lee recruits Azula and they set up a plan to get you together but it all goes wrong and ends with Ty lee just yelling "Mai has a crush on you!" and then running for her life while Azula laughs.

And that's how you get together!

Mai didn't give anything away on your first date so you had no idea if it went well or not. You were slightly nervous to be dating Mai anyway. She's a super cool stoic knife expert who never seems to get bothered by anything. Not to mention her last partner was the Firelord so big shoes to fill. So when you parted ways you wondered if she'd even want to go out with you again but Ty lee told you she came home and actually blushed when she talked about you! You couldn't stop smiling all-day

The first time you made Mai properly belly laugh was a few weeks after you'd been together. You were talking to Ty lee and casually just imitated Azula's voice. You didn't really think about it but you heard a loud snort and turned to see Mai covering her mouth while her shoulders shook. "Mai?" you asked while she tried to catch her breath "you...just sounded so much like her" she managed before dissolving into giggles again. It was so unexpected and cute, you found yourself laughing too. You did the voice some more and Mai laughed even harder before telling you to stop so she could breathe. Tears were streaming down her face from the laughter and she was holding her side trying to stop. You just stared at her in admiration and your Azula impression became your favourite thing to do.

Everyone would be really curious about your relationship because Mai herself is a woman of mystery. There would be a lot of question about how you got together and what you’re like as a couple etc but not from her best friends. Azula and Ty lee know Mai is picky so if she’s actually giving up her alone time to be with you, you must be worth it. No follow up questions needed

Mai is a very attentive partner. She might seem like she doesn't care or think about the small things but she does. Once you told her how you were always slightly cold and noticed how blankets started showing up more and more around her house for you. Your favourite flowers would suddenly appear in her garden and she'd always make sure to tell you when she thought about you in her day because you'd once said it made you feel special. Dating Mai makes you feel very cared for. 

Mai is quite introverted and can sometimes find socialising with anyone tiring. So sometimes you'll just meet up and sit together without saying a word. Mai will lean or lay against you and just enjoy being with you without having to be "on" at the same time.

Relatedly she loves falling asleep in your arms and has an adorable happy expression on her face when she does. She claims she just likes you warmth but you know she loves the cuddles too.

Mai isn't super loud about your relationship but she won't hesitate to take someone down if she hears them talking rudely or suggestively about you. She's protective and you're hers even if she doesn't shout it from the rooftops.

Mai realises she loves you when she feels you understand her. She realises she feels seen by you without even having to say a word. You don't get confused by her or try and change her. You appreciate her for who she is and that's how she knows she loves you.

With your career Mai is the subtle kind of supportive. She's not threatening to burn down companies like Azula and she doesn't love to hear about your coworkers for more than 10 minutes but she's very attentive and caring. If she gets home before you she'll draw you a hot bath or put your clothes near the fire so they're warm. She is there for you in other ways.

Mai is used to being ignored or not taken seriously so she NEVER does that with you. Even if she doesn't share your passion for things she'd never deny you them and does anything you ask to help get you there. She'll run flashcards with you if you're prepping for an exam or do mock interviews to help you with job searching. She actually really gets into it and she rejected you from a fake job once because your answers weren't good enough but that's Mai. She invented tough love.

Mai would pretend you meeting her family wasn’t a big deal but it was really. While she doesn’t need their validation she does want them to like you together as a couple. You’d notice this in the small nervous behaviours Mai did on the way to her parents. So despite Mai’s words that you don’t have to try hard, you would go all out. You’d bring out all the charm you could muster and be the perfect blend of respectful but funny. You’d compliment her parent’s cooking and even help Tomtom with his homework. When you leave her family is clearly very impressed and Mai is just a tad smug. She’d link arms with you on the walk home and quietly whisper “thank you”. 

Is brutally honest but it's not a bad thing. You know you can always trust her to tell you the truth and she promised you she'll never lie to you. You believe her because when Mai makes a promise, she keeps it.

In fights Mai can become pretty cold...not because she means to (although sometimes she does) but mainly because when she's hurt or confused she goes inwards and struggles to express herself. You usually have to give her a day or two to put together her thoughts and Mai really appreciates how you never try and force her to talk when she's not ready,

Mai is the type of person who says we're not getting a pet and means it. So you respect that and then one day she tells you a cat wouldn't be so bad so of course you drag Mai around town that same day to find one. Mai strikes me as that person who doesn't put in a lot of effort with animals but they like her and have this automatic bond. Sometimes all she has to do is look at your cat and it knows to run to bed or go outside. It's eerie honestly but Mai is just that good.

The best thing about dating Mai is you’d feel so special and privileged to have her love. 

Ty Lee

When Ty lee realises she likes you she’d be so bashful and obvious. She’d gush over anything you said and would say your name in every other sentence which drives her friends mad. 

However this wouldn’t last long as unlike Mai and Azula, Ty lee would probably tell you she likes you pretty much immediately

This isn't to say Ty lee is naive or reckless, she'd definitely assess her chances of you liking her back and put in a lot of effort in her plan to tell you. She'd take you out for the afternoon to a coffee shop or flower store you really liked and then take you for a picnic in the royal grounds. There she'd confess her feelings to you. She'd assure you she really valued your friendship and if you don't feel the same way that's totally fine.

When you return her feelings Ty lee smiles brighter than you've ever seen which is saying something. She'd squeal and throw her arms around you in a very happy hug.

Similar to Azula, Ty lee would want to tell everyone you were dating but for very different reasons. With Ty lee she never even planned it, just every time she sees you she'd get a burst of joy and blurt out to whoever is near "that's my partner" proudly. Soon pretty much everyone in the Fire Nation knows you're together

Ty lee is the queen of PDA and affection but she'd also listen to what you want and come up with a happy medium if you weren't. You don't like holding hands? How about linking your arms or pinky fingers? Not a fan of cuddling? She suggests her putting an arm around you over the blanket so she knows you're there but you don't feel smothered. You're not very good at expressing yourself in a relationship? No problem, Ty lee communicates what she wants for you clearly and always asks to make you feel secure.

While Ty lee loves affection and PDA she'd also have special moments where it's just the two of you. The first time she tells you she loves you she'd plan for you to be alone and for any significant milestones she always makes sure you have privacy. She wants you to herself in those moments and the only company she needs is yours.

All of Ty lee’s friends can see how smitten she is with you and so Mai is a little worried at first. Ty lee loves first and thinks later so she’s worried you could take advantage of her. So you’d definitely have to prove yourself to Ty lee’s best friends or they will make you disapear. Luckily the way you feel about Ty lee is pretty obvious too so they don’t doubt you for too long. 

While Ty lee is incredibly sweet that doesn't mean she won't stand up for you. One day Azula makes a comment about how there was a crease in your trousers and laughs about it. "I don't think that's funny" Ty lee replies and Azula rolls her eyes "what because they're your partner we can't have a laugh?". "No, we can't have a laugh because it's not funny to comment about anyone's appearance but especially my partner's and if you keep doing it then we're going to have a problem". Azula (and Mai) had never had Ty lee stand up to her before so was thrown and a little unsure how to respond. Azula shrugs it off but she never commented on you in front of Ty lee again.

Ty lee is super nervous and hesitant to introduce you to her family and you don't get why until you arrive at their home. Ty lee's sisters all have a resemblance to her and Ty lee keeps nervously glancing from you to them. You realise Ty lee is feeling insecure and make sure to keep randomly shooting her smiles or taking her hand. When you leave you tell her how much you like her and how wonderful she is. Ty lee bursts into tears right there and then making you wonder if you've done something wrong but she shakes her head. Telling you how relieved she is that you still want and like her. She confesses, through tears, that she loves you and it seems so perfectly spontaneous just like Ty lee. You of course tell her you love her too and Ty lee bursts into tears again.

Regarding your career Ty lee is a certified hype woman. Anything you do she thinks is amazing so she is constantly cheering for you. She'll send you well-done texts while you at work and show up to any events super proud because you're her partner. She loves telling people what your job is because she thinks it is amazing just because it's what you do.

Fights with Ty lee are emotional. Ty lee of course cries because that's just her normal response when she's overwhelmed and doesn't know how to deal with her emotions. This typically makes you cry too so it's just two crying people yelling at each other. You tend to make up pretty quickly because you both dislike being sad and miss one another. Mai insists on being invited to all your fights because she finds it a good social experiment.

Ty lee is the type of partner that would turn up on your doorstep with a box of puppies because "SHE COULDN'T JUST LEAVE THEM THERE!". So your place is full of animals of all kinds and Ty lee is constantly trying to sneak in more. You're the only self-control Ty lee has in this aspect so you have to be the grown-up a lot. "Ty lee we cannot take in another dog, we already have 4". "But look how floppy his ears are! Please y/n?". "Why don't we see if any of our friends want a dog? I bet Sokka would love him". "Okay fine...”. 

The best thing about Ty lee is, you know no matter what, you have a person in your life who will always want what’s best for you. Ty lee would move a mountain for the people she loves and you are very priviledged to be included in that list. 

________________

Request by @darkprince1110​

I know this was SUPEERRRRR long but I had so many ideas and I still do so might make a part 2 :)

[lovleey]

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ☆

𝐀𝐀𝐍𝐆.

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐀.

𝐌𝐀𝐈.

𝐓𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐄.

𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐎.

𝐒𝐎𝐊𝐊𝐀.

[fandomwriter1515]



Hello, could you write some hcs about Ozai's Angels with a s/o (preferably female but gn is fine) who is secretly a waterbender. Their s/o was born in the Fire Nation but their parents were water tribe or something like that. They keep the waterbending a secret for obvious reasons. However, during a very heated battle with (insert enemy here) they let lose and win the battle in their favor. what is Azula, Mai and Ty lee's reaction to their s/o, who they thaught had no bending abilities, suddenly using waterbending and decemating their enemies.

Ozai's Angels x Secret Fem! Waterbender

Azula, Ty Lee and Mai all thought that you and your family were all Non-benders. They knew that you were not originally from the Fire Nation.

They were always guessing, trying to find out where you were from.

But, they wouldn't pester you about it, as they knew that it was a sensitive topic for you.

They just never expected you to be a waterbender.

Thee four of you were vacationing at Ember Island, taking some time off the life of the palace.

It was dark, and you three were sharing stories about your childhood.

".......and that's how me and my sister got away from the giant bear!" Ty Lee just finished her story.

Taking a deep breath, you started to talk.

"I know you three wanted to know about my history and my past, and..." You didn't get to finish your sentence when 10 masked assassins circled the four of you.

Azula, Ty Lee and Mai immediately jumped up to fight them.

You were skilled in martial arts, so you started out with that.

Then, you got so caught up in your fight that you pulled the water from the sea and started to waterbend the assassins, defeating them one by one.

Azula was just standing there, her mouth open and staring at you.

Ty Lee was doing cartwheels, eyes awestuck as she cheered you on.

Mai showed emotion.

Then when you finished, Ty Lee immediately bounced up to you and asked a million questions.

"Didi you come from the Water Tribe? When did you learn how to waterbend? Was this the secret you were going to tell us?"

Azula waltzs up to you and tries to hide she was impressed on what you did.

Then Mai comes up and suggests some techniques for you that you can try.

Obviously, they are all shocked that you were a waterbender in the Fire Nation.

You four's relationship didn't change, but it was still a shock for everyone about your secret powers. And of course you made them swear to never tell anyone.

Though the whole thing, the were very suportive of what happened.

[multifandomhellisfrozenover]

Here me out.

There is a Lestat to Count Lucio pipeline and I only realized this after watching the movie again.

[ilwonuu]

emergency

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ song mingi

༘⋆ pairing- established relationship, nonidol!mingi x fem!reader, softishdom!mingi x sub!reader

༘⋆ synopsis- you and your boyfriend have the best idea of what to do for 4/20.

༘⋆ warnings- high sex, riding, reader & mingi smoke a blunt, dirty talk, kissing, pet names, lazy sex, lmk what else<3

༘⋆ a/n- HAPPY 4/20 MLS 🍃 i wrote this while high lmfaoo i’m about to smoke some more and read fics (the best things ever) i hope everyone has a good day/night<3 also i hit 800 FOLLOWERS!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU. many fics soon<3 also this is my first time writing for mingi,,,

high sex with your boyfriend was your favorite tyle of sex. smoking a joint before crawling into bed with him. that’s exactly what you did tonight!! it’s 4/20 so of course you’re gonna smoke and having loving sex with your boyfriend. he happily agreed. you were seated on your boyfriends lap as you make out sloppily. his grip on your hips his tight as he lets out soft whines.

“can you ride me baby?” he breathes out into the kisses. “yea- i’m tired tho.” you say in between kisses as he smiles pulling away. “don’t worry i’ll help you.” you get off his lap and turn to see him sliding back against the headboard. you step out of your underwear being left in just your boyfriends t-shirt. you crawl onto the bed as you help him out of his boxers.

he grabs the lighter and the ash tray grabbing the have smoked joint in it. “let’s smoke some more? it’ll feel so good.” he smiles at you lighting the joint. “marry me.” you smile at him as you were gonna suggest the same thing. he pats his lap as he moves the ash tray to the side. he takes a hit of the joint as you get comfortable in his lap.

he passes the joint to you with a smile as his hands rest on your hips. you keep eye contact with him as you take a couple hits passing it back to him. he smiles taking it from you. he takes a couple more hips before putting it back into the ash tray, moving it back to the side table.

“come here- i need you.” he laughs pulling you closer to him. you are already tangled up in his arms, sitting in his lap. you raise your hips a little lining up his dick with your entrance. you slowly sink down as you pull him into a kiss. he whines into the kiss as you start to move your hips.

“you feel- ugh so good.” he sighs deeply as he helps you move your hips. you nod along with his words as grip his shoulders for support. “i missed you- love being this close.” you cry out. you moans are desperate and breathy. he groans at your sounds as he fucks his hips up slowly. “m-mingi- oh-“ you moan out loudly as your hands grip tighter against his shoulders.

“i love- y-you so much.” you cry out as you come undone. his moans turning more whiny and breathy as you ride through your high clenching around him. “shit- i love you more.” he kisses your neck. his low voice making you clench around him again. that’s all he needed to come inside you with a loud whine.

“just- just like that baby.” he throws his head back as you rock your hips to help him ride out his high. you kiss his lips with a smile as you pull off him. “want to smoke some more angel?”

[doumadono]

Siiiiiinceeeeee... my last two requests were SFW I jump in with smth naughty!

I'd like to ask for a ❛ you're so good for me, so fucking good around me, fucking made for me. ❜ (from 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬) in a form of a short fic with Shota Aizawa x fem!reader... she can be his wife, lover, GF IDK! Whatever suits you, sweetheart!

Love ya!

Just a little longer - Aizawa x Reader

Warnings: smut w/o plot, cunnilingus, f!reader, p in v smut

Synopsis: you find yourself unwilling to let Shota prepare for his day at work

A/N: dzękuję za tyle wsparcia, kochanie moje! ♥

MASTERLIST

This morning, you find yourself unwilling to let your adored husband, Shota, simply prepare for his day at work. You yearn for him, his fragrance, his caress – an extended moment of his presence. You crave the sensation of his being, desiring to linger in his embrace a while longer.

So you settle onto Aizawa's lap, positioning yourself astride him on the bed. His hands naturally find their place on your buttocks, ensuring your comfortable position. You playfully push him onto the bed and passionately connect your lips with his, mixing bites and kisses. As you press your hips down, he tightens his hold, ensuring you stay right where you are.

"Y/N, teasing me right now isn't the best idea," Shota growls. "Classes are about to begin."

"Don't worry, my love, we've got a good half hour left," you reassure him with a mischievous grin.

He playfully flips you away, and you land on the mattress with a light bounce, eliciting a giggle. As he gracefully moves to the floor, he unties your shoes, planting tender kisses on your ankles. His lips progress upward, skillfully removing your pants. Once more, his kisses trace the expanse of your legs, traveling down one and up the other, tantalizingly close to your panties, where you can sense his warm breath caressing the dampness forming on the cotton fabric.

"You're incredibly beautiful, my love," he whispers affectionately.

Lending a hand, you assist him in removing your shirt, prompting his lips to discover your belly button. His tongue dances around the navel before embarking on a trail towards your mound.

His fingers dance along your sides, leaving a tingling trail on your heated skin as they traverse. They encircle your panties at the waistband, swiftly tugging to remove the delicate fabric. He playfully nibbles at the newly exposed skin, cleverly evading any direct contact with your sensitive core.

A whimper escapes your lips, and you attempt to guide him by reaching for his hair, but he gently swats your hands away. With determination, you make another effort, only to find your fingers intertwined with his, keeping you in place, uninterrupted.

"Be patient for me, Y/N. You'll have your desires fulfilled after I've taken what I need," Shota assures, his words a mixture of command and promise.

His tongue flicks out, meeting your clit in a deliberate punctuation, causing your legs to quiver in response. His administrations become slightly more intense, leaving an array of pretty purple and blue marks as he sensually sucks hickeys into the skin around your panty line.

"Can you manage to keep those hands of yours under control?" Shota inquires, locking eyes with you.

You nod obediently, and he releases your hands. His palms find stability on your thighs as he lowers his head once more between your legs. Anticipation courses through you, your grip on the bedding tightening to prevent your hands from wandering. But Shota refrains from touching you further. Instead, he teases you by blowing a cool breath over your intimate area, sending shivers down your spine. Your toes curl involuntarily as he skillfully manipulates his breath, applying a teasing and barely-there pleasure.

"Oh God…" you whimper. "Weren't you the one griping about being teased a moment ago?" you groan, propping yourself up on your elbows to gaze at him.

"I simply desire to savor the pleasure of worshiping you. Is that truly a wrongdoing?" Shota asks, a mischievous grin playing on his lips.

"It certainly feels criminal if it means you're keeping your hands off me," you sigh dramatically, flopping back onto the pillows.

"Well, well… I understand now. Let me make amends for that."

With a deliberate motion, he eases two fingers inside you, while his lips ensnare your clit, his tongue diligently tracing circles across the delicate nerves. He offers no quarter for adjustment, his two fingers curling within you in sync with the rhythm of his skilled tongue. Your grip tightens on the covers as your back arches off the bed, attempting to escape his relentless assault. Yet, his free arm stretches up, gently guiding you back down to a flat position, granting him even better access.

A muffled groan escapes his lips against your skin as he savors your taste, his tongue painting long, sensual strokes along your slit, adeptly maneuvering around his pumping fingers. Whenever his journey brings him to your clit, he applies a gentle suction before moving on swiftly, pushing you to the brink without permitting you to topple over just yet.

A frustrated whine escapes you, the almost sufficient stimulation leaving you yearning for more.

"Your whining sounds remarkably delightful," Shota chuckles. "You're giving me very little reason to grant you release."

Nevertheless, his tongue initiates an unceasing figure-eight pattern against your sensitive clitoris, propelling you toward the precipice. At the very moment his fingers pinpoint that exquisite spot within you, he propels you into the throes of your climax. You find yourself breathing heavily, the intensity of the experience enveloping you.

He briefly withdraws, allowing you a moment to catch your breath, and proceeds to shed his own garments. Once disrobed, he gracefully returns, positioning himself atop you. He aligns himself with your entrance, his unoccupied hand intertwining fingers with yours, his unwavering gaze maintaining a connection as he gradually sinks into your eager cunt. Employing his free hand for balance, he positions himself just above you, his forearm serving as a prop, allowing him to lean in and capture kisses between each thrust. The encounter is an amalgamation of messiness, wetness, and sheer exhilaration. As your unoccupied hand drags along his back, eliciting pleasurable groans from him, the juxtaposition of scratches and sensation adds to the intensity.

With a deliberate pace, Aizawa maintains a slow, sensual rhythm, grinding his hips down to ensure every thrust stimulates your clit, sending delightful tingles coursing through your body. "Oh, Y/N, you're so good for me, so fucking good around me, fucking made for me, just for me. Your raw sensation is unbelievably intoxicating," he groans, his hips faltering slightly.

Unresponsive, your eyes flutter as he drives into you with a nearly overwhelming proficiency. Just as your second orgasm builds, he plunges deeply, his own groan mingling with the sensation as he collapses against you, his orgasm sweeping over him as warm, thick ropes of his cum fill your pussy. He nestles into the curve of your neck, seeking solace. "I love you, baby. But we need to get ready."

[maybankswhore]

in the haze , tyler galpin x reader

the great war continued. . .

pairing: tyler galpin x reader

summary: you look back on your relationship with tyler before finding out he was the hyde.

note! this is the great war part two. since we don’t know what happened to tyler yet after he was captured – i thought a flashback sort’ve thing worked better! still a little unsure though! it was a little different style of writing in the last one so i hope that’s okay!

The aftermath of what happened at Nevermore was indescribable. It seemed to you that people moved on so quickly. There were smiles and exchanges between others like this time away was simply vacationing between semesters. Nobody seemed to be as stuck in grief as you were.

You had let your feelings get so involved that you just couldn’t get over the way everything had played out. How invested you were.

It was hard to comprehend that nothing had been real.

You thought back to every memory he was attached to you in your brain , wondering if you had overlooked the signs. You tried to think back , doubting that every moment you took as love— was just him manipulating you , lying to you.

You couldn’t believe that your Tyler , wasn’t ever actually yours.

Tyler sat across from you in the booth , a smile on his face as you ranted about the day.

“It’s just so frustrating because Bianca knows how bad I am at fencing so I don’t know why she thought putting me up against Xavier would mean I would win! I swear she wanted to embarrass me.” You ranted , rolling your eyes.

It wasn’t anything serious and you knew you were being over dramatic. But Tyler had just looked at you so comfortingly. He was so fond of you , thinking to himself at how adorable you were when you were all worked up. It didn’t find it annoying that you just ranted on and on. He loved to listen.

“I don’t think you should be embarrassed.” Tyler reached out to touch your face lightly , brushing at the apple’s of your cheeks. It was only for a split second , but it had felt so sweet to you– that your face warmed up at the thought of it.

“You’re being ridiculous.” Wednesday scolded you as she walked into your dorm to say goodbye. “You should be happy this is all solved. Tyler can choke on his own tongue and die for all we care.”

You sat up on your bed and huffed at Wednesdays cold demeanor. You knew that it affected her too , whether she’d like to admit it or not.

“Don’t you think it’s kinda wrong!” You told her , crossing your arms. “That he played us and basically betrayed our trust?” You felt as you were pointing out the obvious.

Wednesday barely spared you a glance. “I should’ve known.” She responded plainly. “That’s on me.”

“No.” Standing up , you faced her. “We have every right to not feel like it’s our fault. He lied and we believed it because we thought he was good.”

“Nobody’s off limits.” Wednesday answered. “We should have remembered everybody’s a suspect.”

You couldn’t know for sure if you thought what Wednesday said was right. Because if everybody’s a suspect then that means nobody can be trusted , and that just wasn’t fair.

You should have had somebody to be as good to them as they were to you. You shouldn’t have had to assume he was doing the worst to you.

It just didn’t feel fair.

You were so nervous the night of the dance. It had taken you days to find the prettiest dress. You spent hours doing your hair and makeup , bouncing off the walls with excitement.

Tyler was going with you and it was the first real ‘couple-y’ thing you two were doing together , and you wanted everything to be perfect.

The butterflies in your stomach were fluttering quickly when he knocked on your door.

You ripped the door open , excited to see him. He stood there with his best tux , the softness of his face flattered how his hair was messily off to the side , gelled only a bit.

He had just looked so cute.

“You look. . .” Tyled grinned as he looked at you , shaking his head almost speechless. “So beautiful.”

The sincerity of his voice nearly brought you to tears , and so did the small glint in his eye.

“You look so handsome!” You gushed to him shamefully , cheesing as you reached up and cupped his face quickly to swipe the apple of his cheeks affectionately.

Tyler burned bright red as he reached out to you to hold your hand and guide you out. “Oh keep it in your pants.” He humored , kissing the side of your head as he closed the door behind you , walking you away.

The semester would finally be over. Your parents were on their way , seemingly clueless about the things transpiring at school. Your things were all packed , and you’d be gone for some time , grieving the things that you lost.

You weren’t ready for it to be over already , but you didn’t have any other choice to make.

You missed Tyler , and you were hurt. He had betrayed you , and somewhere during that , he made you fall in love with someone who didn’t seem to exist.

You had so many questions that were going to be left unanswered , and so many feelings left unsaid.

It felt as though the war you were fighting had just ended , but a new one was already starting to begin.

tags! @lexxierave @snixx2088 @lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently @minkyungseokie @zdziebelko13

[moonmaiden1996]

Claiming

Soulmate smut fiction Xavier x Reader x Tyler

Some mindless trashy smut.

18 plus warning

Xavier did not like this, not one bit. You should be buried beneath him, thrashing and mewling as he plunged into you, claiming you again and again till you could barely speak, not stuck in this dank room staring down at the abomination before you.

Pulling you to nestle against him, he tugged a stray strand of hair behind your ear, staring down at you, earning him one of your dazzling soft smiles. Those bright eyes reminded him of the day he found out. The pure joy he felt at discovering you were his and the despair he felt at you hiding it away still fizzled within him. His anger at having to force you to acknowledge him as your mate. Your fear at the connection, the running and hiding, then the bliss of you willing begging to be claimed. All that emotion bubbled inside him, burning in need to bury himself within you and take you again and again till no one knew where he stopped, and you started. Yet he was here, staring down Tylee freaking Galpin, as the pathetic creature yanked at his bonds as he tried to escape their hold to get to you. Not that he could blame him.

You looked so delectable, wrapped in a teasingly short robe, fleshy thighs rubbing together as you nestled against the artist. He smirked at the memory of the mess you made around his thick cock only hours ago.  Only tarnished slightly at the thought he was not the only one who would be burying himself within you now.

A strangled groan pulled him from his thoughts. You were staring at him with those big, glistening eyes of yours. Your body trembled as your gaze shifted from him to Tyler. Bounded pathetically to the bed, under a series of straps, chains and buckles.

"Are you sure this is okay? That you are okay with this?" You whispered to him, eyes never wandering from your other mate.

Xavier's dark eyes glanced at the young man; honestly, he despised Tyler. He was a tormentor, a bigot, and a murderer. If Xavier had his way, he would let Hyde rot in that prison where the council had left him. But he could not do that to you. As much as he hated it, Tyler was your Mate just as much as you were his. And as the council put it, he would escape at some point. With the best will in the world, Tyler's need for you would get stronger till he slaughtered all who stood between you and him. At least this way, you could bind him to you, make Hyde yours to control. Tyler could walk free, and the council could breathe easy knowing they were controlled and pacified beneath your tender flesh. And you would be nice and happy, just like he wanted you.

"As long as he knows if he puts one claw out of place will put a stop to this, and the council will throw him back into that hole again," Xavier growled, pushing you both closer into the bed.

"I would never hurt her." Tyler's voice roared as the restraints cried against his movements, sending an unholy rattle through the room.

"Shhhh", you cooed. "It's okay." You soothed, moving towards the man. Only to be held in place by Xavier's large hand anchored to your hips

Dipping his lips to the base of your neck. Your eyes fluttered closed as his mouth assaulted your tender flesh. Xavier's eyes held onto Tylers as they glared at each other; Xavier's hand inched down, pulling the loosely tied belt from your gown, pulling the soft material away from your hip. Tyler’s eyes flittered down, hardening as they took in the delicate smudges, his fingerprints in fine oil paint proudly staring out from the delicious flesh of your thighs.

Brown eyes snapped back up to the artist, who smugly suckled down on your throat as he slid a foot between your legs, parting your thighs ever so slightly, treating Tyler to a torturous peak as your delicate flesh and an intoxicating waft of your scent. Your sent filling Tyler's nose. Despite scrubbing every inch of your skin, Tyler could still smell your tangy scent. Xavier smirked as he watched Tyler's nostrils flare as he smelt the cum Xavier had carefully spent inside you. Xavier had ensured that he had painted your walls, stuffing you full, his cock not leaving until every inch of you was completely scented with him. A primal urge to rid you of his scent and replace it with his own, to brand you with it, so it never left you.

"Xavier’’ you whine, pushing away from him. "Behave…you promised,' you pouted ‘', or you will need to leave."

"The fuck I will", he spat, pressing hard against your hip and hardening cock, smirking as you gasped lowly, biting your lip gazed down at the puppy dogface of your other Mate. "I am staying right here to make sure he doesn't use like as a toothpick... and that you at least cum from his pathetic attempt."

An inhuman roar filled the room, and chains rattled and stained against his strength.

‘What? You think you're in any state to worship her how she needs to be,’’ Xavier sneered, ‘’you’ll be lucky if you can get her wet!’

"Xavier!" you squeaked. Pushing him away to tentatively sat beside Tyler, eyes taking in his pale skin. Making the harsh lines of the restrains even more savage. Gently your fingertips traced the redness that bloomed from his fruitless struggle—enjoying the purr that replaces the violent rattle of his growls. Smiling, your hand moved towards the buckle on his wrist. Only for your wrist to be wretched back with a yelp, Xavier looming over you.

"Get the hell off her, your hurting her. I'll fucking rip your throat out." The groan of the leather straps squeaking into the room with the animalistic snarls as the mahogany bed rattled against the wall.

"Fuck you’’ Xavier snapped, dropping your wrist as he snared over the bed. ‘’I am one more minute away from dragging her out of here, so pipe down, puppy.’

"Xavier, please. We talked about this..." you tetter anxiously on the side of the bed, suddenly aware that you were near naked before both men.

"Yes, we did. He stays bound till you claim him; he is still feral.’’ Xavier’s eyes hardened as you curled into yourself.

"But..." you whimpered.

"But nothing.." Xavier whispered, kissing your forehead. "I love you too much to have you taken away again. I still have nightmares about seeing you cold..." his voice broke just a little—enough to return the events of that fateful day in Nevermore to the surface again.

You suddenly felt ashamed, your perfect Mate, the man willing to let you take another mate and not just any mate, who framed and left him to rot in the Jericho jail. Nuzzling up against you, he paused briefly before you felt him move away. "Just… just like we talked about love….please.’

Nodding, you turned back. It was odd how quiet Tyler had become. Since entering the room, he had granted, raved, growled and moaned for you. Now he wasn't even looking at you, just staring up at the ceiling, unmoving.

Settling down again, you gaze worryingly at him, feeling the heat of an anxious Xavier moving beside you.

"Tyler..."

‘'You can leave... I won't... I won't... "he blinks at the ceiling, tears straining to escape his eyes. "I'm so sorry... I wouldn’t hurt you for the world..." his voice cracked as he looked at you.

"It's okay... it's okay... that mess wasn't your fault," you hummed, ignoring the huff from your artist.

Staring across at him, you didn’t see the bloodthirsty monster but the beautifully broken baby that needed someone to protect him.

As much as you wanted to believe he would let you go when the urge became too much, he might even tear his way through Xavier—leaning forward, knotting your fingers in the soft material of your gown and pulling it off of your body.

It pooled around your feet; a heady excitement surged and gushed from your core as both pairs of eyes darkened as they took in your bare form. A nervous giggle passed your lips as you tentatively claimed onto the bed and pulled back the sheet covering his body.

A deep whine filled the room as the sheet glided over his sensitive cock. It lay heavily against his stomach, swollen and red, with a glistening bead of precum leaking from the tip. The sinful thought that flooded in was almost too much for you to bare.

"Need some help?" Xavier appeared beside you, hand resting lowly on your hips. He lifted on top of the bed, helping you to clamber on top of Tyler.

You hissed as your core nestled against his cock. Staring down, your watch as Tyler's pupils consume his eyes. Blackness stared into you as you shifted against him. Your movements were messy and imprecise, but the room was filled with soft moans of you rocking against him.

Hearing down, you capture his desperate lips in a kiss. Teeth are clashing with the curiosity of his need, tongue plodging into your mouth. Despite the Straps binding him to the bed, you could feel his desperate attempts to buck against your Wet heat.

Pulling back, you pant breathlessly, needly rutting against him, your fingertips dragging against his skin. The soft wet sound filled the room. Pained groans tumbled frantically from Tyler’s lips as he looked up at you with black eyes. A roar ripped through the room as your sopping walls dragged along his straining length.

Soft pants filled the room as you moved, slowly grinding against him, your pussy weeping with the sinful friction against your clit.

"I need you", Tyler's voice boom unnaturally. Halting your movements as you stare down at his angelic features, his hips shooting up to push with as much force as he could.

Shakily, you nodded, rising your hips and sliding his fat head against your opening. Pain surged through you as your core was stretched mercilessly around him. He was certainly no bigger than Xavier, longer perhaps compared to Xavier's girth, but your poor pussy was nowhere near ready Xavier spent time pulling you apart before he took you. This was urgent and frantic. Desperate. The way your mark vibrated against your skin was overwhelming, and the need for the mark caused you to continue sinking onto his cock.

‘Is it too much, love?" Xavier purred, pulling you back. You bury your head in his neck, moaning weakly as his hands again find your hips stilling you over the other man.

‘’Let me help my baby."Xavier purred as he pushed your hip down to take him completely.

Your hiss escaped your lips as you sank full onto his length.

"fuck, I am sorry," Tyler hissed as his hips made contact with yours, his eyes pleading as he nudged upwards. Eyes watering as the fullness burnt against your invaded walls. "you feel so good, my beautiful Mate...I can’t…." A deep growl erupted from Tyler as Xavier's handle stilled your trembling hips.  

‘’Pipe down you; if we didn't have you tied down like some damn dog, I wouldn't have to take care of her. Let me make her feel good. "

Tyler's nose flared but settled down against the pillows. Nodding as he watched Xavier guide your hips up and then slam them down.

"That's it, nice and slow... feel good...hmm", Xavier purred, nuzzling his face against your neck as he dragged Tyler’scock against your pussy, causing a high pitch roan to fall from your lips.

"So sensitive all I have to do is touch your skin, but I know one place that makes you fall apart." Xavier purred as his fingertip dipped down, rubbing skilful circles in your clit. "You better be savouring this... Watching this goddess take your cock... you need to worship her."

"Fuck I will... I will just let me go... I will worship her like a Queen. Just untie me!"

"Please, can we" you pleaded, panting hard. Xavier glared down at him as he sent two sharp slaps against your delicate clit. "You know the agreement," he growled, bouncing you harder on Tyler's cock as he slapped your pussy again, this time hard, causing you to tighten around Tyler with such fierceness that you both whimpered.

"Till you bind him to your command, he stays tied up. I can almost tolerate him this way... If I get one more demand from either of you, I am pulling you off and bending you over this bed so he can watch how a real mate fucks you.’’

Tyler silently seethed as you nodded, staring down at him with large, pleading eyes.

"Good... Let's get this over with; now lean back against me; let him see that pretty pussy." Xavier snarled as he forced you to lay your back against his chest, sending the cock deeper inside you. A primal growl ripped through Tyler's throat as he watched your pussy swallow his cock as your hips we to pull his cock in and out of your dripping core.

"Come on, princess; he looks ready to burst. Start the bond. make him yours." Xavier grunted, burying his face in your neck as he ground your cores together, forcing your hips to bounce vigorously on his pulsing cock.

Warmth spread across Tyler as he felt his orgasm pushed back, and his balls tightened as his orgasm was ripped away from him. Tyler watched intently as every movement of Xavier's large hands rolled your hips sending another wave of sinful pleasure through you both. Your brow furrowed in deep concentration as you were brought down more forcefully onto Tyler’s cock with every roll of your hips.

Helplessly, Tyler lay writhing against the bed, your walls quivering and clenching around him as you squeaked and squealed. Tyler thanked Xavier for keeping you in place, the only force keeping his length from being ripped from your body as you spasmed around him.

"Isfta, Rishta Molck. Mi... Be mine, gods Tyler! Be mine, please, you screamed as you clutched violently around him.

"Tyler", you cried, sobbing as energy surged through you from your core down his cock and straight through him. ‘’Tyler, please, I cannot hold it... Be mine."

"Yes! Yes! Always yours forever," Tyler roared. Motionlessly he watched as your body vibrated, eyes glowing a deep silver as your pussy tightened painfully around him, massaging him, pulling him uncontrollably toward a violent orgasm, milking him of every drop as it fused them. Tyler was only vaguely aware of Xavier gently allowing you to fall against his skin as your skin began to glow. Her lips caressed his as he slowly fell into a blissful abyss.

Please let me know what you think? More smutty one-shots to come requests welcome.

[zoeysdamn]

Bark, Bite & Break Bones - Tyler Galpin x Van Helsing!reader | Part.6

Summary: A conversation between Ajax, Xavier and Tyler ends in a chat about typical teenage drama about ball’s dates; who would have thought? The Rave’n sounds really promising, hopefully the shitty karma could give you a break for just this evening, right? Or maybe it’s precisely the right time to disclose the truth about what happened three years ago, no matter how hard it’ll be.

Warnings: swearing, angst, smut (characters are between 17 and 18), underage weed smoking, slut-shaming (seriously, mind your own business), mention of torture acts (nothing graphic)

A/N: Just like Yoko, Bianca’s a bitch in this fic, and I’m sorry about that (I really do like her character :’(( but the plot demands itttt). Also, Ajax’s canonically a gem; period.

I planned the chapter to cover WAY MORE events but it was already +12k and not even finished soooo I cut it in half (and lost the dramatic cut *sob* you’ll understand with the next chapter uhuhuh)

[Masterlist] [Prologue] [Part.1] [Part.2] [Part.3] [Part.4] [Part.5]

In the end, there was not much sanction against Wednesday for the whole Yoko ordeal. The school board was stiff as ever, they couldn’t risk to expel her, or else they would have to admit what Yoko did. And publicly announcing a vampire student from an influential coven had stalked and sent threats to another one would be very, very bad for the school’s image. So they ended up with a compromise and Wednesday only slipped away with a mere punishment in exchange of her not going to the police to press charges. It didn’t interest her anyway, the truth had been revealed at the school and it was enough for her. And on top of that, her “punishment” turned out to be a week of community service and an interdiction to go to the upcoming Rave’n – it truly seemed to sadden her, really. Although it did seem to put Enid in some terrible misery, because she really longed for this occasion to go to a dance with her girlfriend. 

“I swear Enid’s so disappointed, she whined about the Rave’n all week.” 

Chuckles answered Ajax’s complaint as he took a puff on his joint, sitting against his bedhead. The Gorgon inhaled the smoke deeply and passed the lit joint to Xavier’s expecting fingers. From your spot on the ground, your back against the bed table, you had an amused grin at the whole situation and your legs resting on Tyler’s lap. He was sitting on the ground next to you, side against the bed were his roommate and Xavier were sitting. 

Your group kinda stood off like a sore thumb and you weren’t really sure how you ended up like that. It all began with a late study session in Tyler’s room because you had an upcoming duo project to hand over soon, and you hadn’t seen the time pass. Then Ajax had come back from his own study session with Xavier – his partner for the very same project. The unexpected confrontation between Xavier and Tyler had left an awkward atmosphere, and as you were about to leave the tension-filled room, Ajax had mentioned that he planned to smoke a joint to let out the pressure. A peace offering of sorts – especially between his roommate and best friend – which you gladly accepted. After all, you didn’t know Xavier that well, you got along pretty fine with Ajax, and you definitely needed to relax after the grueling week. Bonding time over some weed could be nice. After the first few minutes of awkwardness, Tyler had blurted some excuses to the psychic, saying how truly sorry he was for punching him and destroying his mural some years ago. A dead silence had followed, before Xavier had shrugged and said that it was old history – and that knowing that he got his ass handed by Enid was enough consolation. This made Ajax and you cackle madly, snickering at poor Tyler’s reddening cheeks and Xavier’s small grin. Once this weird atmosphere tainted with guilt was dissipated, things actually went nicely. 

The Gorgon had rolled a joint and passed it among yourselves, even Tyler “good-boy-behavior-in-the-streets” Galpin took some. All of you became more relaxed and you gradually chatted casually about anything (as long as it didn’t involve touchy subjects such as any of your family’s heritage, the whole Yoko deal or even what happened with Jeremiah). It honestly kind of surprised you that Xavier didn’t seem so wary of you; he was a member of the Nightshades too, being there last time you were at Nevermore. Maybe it was thanks to Ajax’s influence and what he had said about you to the artist, but Xavier didn’t hate you whatsoever. If anything, he rejoined Wednesday’s opinion about you: if you were able to take down Tyler, you were worthy of respect, if not trust. As the first joint was smoke and the second one rolled, you all felt like you were good friends. The pot’s influence surely – and somehow thanks to Ajax too, you had to give him that. This is how you ended up on the topic of Enid’s current dread.

“You could invite her instead,” you suggested casually, which ended with the three guys staring at you, “y’know, going to the dance as friends.”

“What? Nah that’s crazy, it’ll feel weird!” said Ajax, brushing away your comment. 

“Yeah, plus Wednesday would have his head for this,” chuckled Xavier, sending a chill down his best friend’s spine at the thought of Enid’s girlfriend. 

“Why not?” you shrugged taking the joint he handed you, “I mean, you don’t have a date, she doesn’t either and you both want to go. You’re both friends and nothing more, right?”

“Yeah,” confirmed the Gorgon, “we kinda had a thing last year or something, but we’re nothing but friends now.”

Nodding your head to prove your point you exhaled the smoke longly, “Then what’s the big deal? There’s nothing wrong asking her out as a friend, I bet even Wednesday will be glad that Enid gets to go to the dance with a friend’s company.”

Even Tyler nodded to that and Ajax seemed deep into his thoughts, Xavier insisting that Enid would be thrilled to go with him. Passing the joint to Tyler, you missed the both perplexed and knowing looks the boys on the bed exchanged at the two of you. Instead you suddenly felt thirsty and clumsily got up, pulling your legs off Tyler's lap. 

"Damn that's some good weed you got here but my throat's fucking dry," you grumbled. "Can I use your bathroom for a sec?" 

Xavier nodded and you stumbled into the bathroom, unaware of the gazes behind your back. As soon as you closed the door, Ajax leaned to Tyler in a hushed tone. 

"So, what about you two? Did you ask her out yet or what?" 

Coughing a little on the smoke, Tyler winced dumbfounded, "What? No, what are you talking about, why would I?" 

Even Xavier, who didn’t pay much thought to either yours or Tyler's lives, seemed invested in the conversation now and looked at him waiting for his answer. 

"Well, you two are already fucking, aren't you going to the Rave'n together?" insisted Ajax, waving lazily his hand in the air. 

"I— we're not— I mean, we're not exactly together either," stuttered Tyler, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 

Neither his roommate nor Xavier buyed his explanation, “So? All this speech about going as friends or whatever, you could do that right?”

Tyler didn’t react right away at Xavier’s comment. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to go to the Rave’n, and if he had to go, if you wanted to go with him. Surely you would have asked him by now, right? After all, you were rather bold and didn’t wait for things to happen, so if you wanted to go with him you would have asked by now. Right? 

Noticing how deep in thought he seemed to be, Xavier let out a lazy chuckle, mind foggy with the pot. “Damn, you don’t want to go with her as a friend. Jesus man, you’re fucked.”

Ajax cackled in an equally blurry haze, slowly realizing by Tyler’s reaction that his best friend was right, “Bro you’re so fucking screwed.”

Tyler wanted to say something but at the same time you exited the bathroom, having heard Ajax’s last words, “Who’s screwed?” 

All three boys suddenly froze, like deers caught in headlights at your sudden appearance. Raising an eyebrow at them you wondered what it was all about before Tyler stuttered awkwardly.

“Well it’s uh- we were-”

“It’s Xavier,” blurted the Gorgon, cutting him mid sentence. “He’s uh- he and Bianca are trying to reconcile things and he wants to invite her to the Rave’n.”

Xavier choked on the smoke and coughed harshly, mouthing a ‘what’ to his best friend once he managed to recompose his breath. 

You let out a low whistle, “Got some balls Thorpe, she’s going to skin you alive if you fuck this up again. Aren’t you guys exes or something?” 

He coughed awkwardly again, handing the joint to Ajax and sending him a glare at the same time before answering you, “Yeah…she wanted to try again last year and I didn’t want to but now uh, I think it might work.” 

This wasn’t completely wrong; over the summer Xavier had thought about his and Bianca’s relationship. After all she did during Crackstone’s attack, and how much she had changed after he explained why he had broken up with her, his mind had started to change. And he had admitted to Ajax that the thought of trying again would be nice, but he didn’t expect to be exposed like that. Maybe it’ll force him to actually ask her out though.

“Well if you think you have a shot, go for it,” you said, returning to your original spot on the ground, legs finding their place on Tyler’s lap once again. 

“Really?” he said, surprised that you had an opinion – that you cared about it. 

“Yeah,” you shrugged casually, “I mean, she’s still up for it, right? Worst scenario she turns you down but you’re still friends, nothing dramatic.”

Xavier blinked slowly, slightly perplexed. But you were kinda right, “I…suppose you’re right. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” you said and Ajax handed you the almost finished joint, “love life advice is free, given mine’s disastrous state.”  

Ajax snorted and Tyler chuckled nervously purposefully avoiding the knowing glances of the other two boys. “Hey that makes me think, Y/N,” said Xavier, changing the subject, “can I ask you something?”

“Sure, shoot.” 

“Isn’t dating an outcast weird? Like y’know being a Van Helsing and all?” 

The first few seconds of silence, all three of them held their breath; your lack of answer made them think that maybe Xavier had crossed the line, and didn’t realize how unwise his questions were, under the effects of the pot. But the dry laugh you let out dissipated their worries quickly. 

“I’m an original family disappointment,” you chuckled, “but damn I ain’t regretting anything. Dating an outcast isn’t that different from dating normies, really.”

“Ah! How did your parents react when they learned you shagged outcasts?” snorted Ajax, way too high to actually think about his questions. 

Finishing the joint and inhaling deeply, you laughed through the exhale of smoke, “D’you seriously think they know about my sex life? It would send my grandparents to the hospital, could be funny though. Van Helsing aren’t that much different from puritans on that matter really, if one of my ancestors ever dated an outcast, god forbid they’d tell me about this.”

“Wait, one of them actually did?” said Tyler in surprise. 

“Mm-mmh, a great-grand cousin or something, found his diary hidden in the family’s library. Dated a werewolf for a few years before dying during a hunt.”

“Woaw,” whistled Xavier, “what a rebel uh?”

“You bet,” you snickered, “there was one of my ancestors though, Victoria Van Helsing, great hunter and everything, model to everyone else in the family. Well, guess what, turned out she was aromantic and asexual so she was “less prone to be seduced” or some shit like that. So, she never had kids and didn’t carry out the family’s legacy but at least she was pure,” you said with an exaggerated roll of your eyes that made everyone chuckle. “My bisexual ass is peak disappointment and I live for that.”

This made them chuckle, and the conversation drifted to something else. You spent another half hour in the boy’s room until your eyelids started to feel heavy with sleep and the aftermath of the joint. 

“Well boys,” you yawned as you got up, “I think this is my cue, my bed’s calling me. Thanks for the weed Ajax.” 

The Gorgon gave you a mock salute and Tyler followed you as you got up, “I’ll walk you back.” 

You didn’t react much to this – thought Xavier and Ajax snorted under their breath and you grabbed your bag before saying good night to the two other guys and making your way to the door. Tyler followed you closely, his hand ghosting at the small of your back like a defense reflex; or a natural seek of physical contact. Ever since you two had become physical, he was more and more seeking small touches, brushes of his hands against your own or your arm, searching for both grounding and contact. You had never pushed him away. 

Once you stepped in the corridor, Tyler closed the door behind him and stood here rather awkwardly. 

“So,” you started slowly, “it went rather well, didn’t it? Xavier didn’t try to strangle you, I call that a win.” 

Tyler chuckled, “Yeah, I guess it wasn’t so bad.” 

You smiled at him and readjusted the strap of your backpack over your shoulder, “Well, good night then. See you tomorrow, pretty boy.”

“Wait,” he called as you were starting to leave, “do you…”

“Yes?” 

He seemed hesitant, almost shy and it felt odd; it had been months now since you had met and called out his terrified boy act, so you weren’t used to seeing him that shy. Then finally he blurted, “Do you have a date for the Rave’n?” 

You blinked at him, not expecting this to be brought up. “No, no I don’t,” you said after a few seconds of silence, “I don’t think anyone here wants to go with a Van Helsing,” you chuckled. “Why?”

Tyler rubbed his neck awkwardly; why did it feel so weird while you were already intimate? 

“I- do you think we can go together? Y’know, I don’t think anyone would want to go with me either.”

He cringed internally at his last sentence. It had come out so wrong, but it made you grin anyway. 

“Well I think it’s mandatory for us to go together anyway,” you noted, “being your bodyguard and all.” 

The words stinged a little but he knew you were right. “So, you’ll go to the dance with me?”

Noticing his cute boyish uneasiness, you grinned even harder. Of course you were supposed to go together anyway, but you could also clearly sense something more. And even knowing what it was about, you wanted to hear him say it. 

“Depends,” you purred slowly, stepping closer to him, “do you want to go with me to the Rave’n?”

His face morphed into a similar smile, immediately setting to the same flirty behavior as yours, “I wouldn’t be so bad I suppose. Got some moves, doll?”

“Like you hadn’t seen them already,” you grinned, mouth only a few millimeters away from his. “So, are you going to say this or not, pretty boy?” 

Tyler hummed, breath teasingly tickling your lips, “Will you go to the Rave’n with me, Y/N?” 

You chuckled at his words and dropped a featherly, meaningly teasing kiss just under his lower lip, “Yes, I’ll go with you tiger.” 

He grinned and you parted with a burning gaze, before finally walking away in your dorm’s direction. 

“Can’t wait to see you in a dress, sweetheart,” he called after you. 

Craning your neck you send him a wink over your shoulder, “We both know you’ll like it better on my bedroom’s floor, lover boy.” 

Tyler chuckled and entered back into his room. He couldn’t deny that. 

“Holy fuck dude,” groaned Ajax as he closed the door, “almost thought you were going to fuck against that door, again.” 

Meanwhile, you had a grin all the way to your dorm. The rational part of yourself told you that it was an obvious part of your job, but still you couldn’t help but smile at that. Tyler Galpin had asked you out and nothing could spoil that bubbly feeling of joy inside you under the practical sarcasm and denial. 

To differ from the last ball, this year’s Rave’n theme had voted to be “Glitter and Gold”. The alchemy teacher who had been supervising the Rave’n committee had explained something along the lines of it being an homage to the glorious ‘20, when the outcasts had blended for the first time into normies’ modern society in significant numbers. Maybe the alcohol and cocaine consumption then had helped, it probably helped the normies to care less about some strange things they saw, as long as it wasn’t related to the war. 

Anyway, the whole school was awaiting the evening excitedly, the main hall was beginning to be filled with decorations and the general gleeful atmosphere almost made you forget about the whole Poe cup ordeal from a few weeks before. 

Around two weeks before, you had asked Principal Weems if this was a mandatory event for Tyler to attend – and by extent, for you. With her usual polite and enigmatic smile, she had told you that considering the significant progress he had made, Tyler wasn’t required to be here if he didn’t want to, but at the same time he was allowed to spend the evening among the other students at the ball. She had added that it could be a good thing for either of you to come, to which you had rolled your eyes. The idea of “look less menacing” stuck in her mind, it seemed. 

But then, Tyler had asked you out to the Rave’n. It definitely changed your mind about not going. The evening that had previously been a dreadful perspective sounded more promising now. In front of your mirror, you pondered what kind of makeup you should wear, no matter how silly the question sounded in your own mind. Growing up, there hadn’t been much place for girly things like clothes and makeup between the harsh training of your grandparents and the internal family conflict with your parents’ opinions that put you in the middle of their battles. Then the time in juvie didn’t leave much room for it either. But after some inner debate and a few checks on Youtube tutorials for references, you thought that your makeup wasn’t so bad. Deeming it good enough, you went to your wardrobe to get your outfit. The Rave’n committee recommended a black and gold dress code, once again as a contrast to last year’s white theme (according to Tyler, it hadn’t been an evening that had turned out pretty, something along the lines of doing a Carrie scene?). 

There wasn’t much fancy clothes in your belongings, but you had managed to pull something out. You had a short black dress, with a deep keyhole cut and a collar going around your neck. Two tick laced-detailed straps went from the collar to the small of your back, exposing a large triangle of skin on your back. It covered most of your scar on the left scapula, and that was what you liked with this dress. While rummaging through one of the clothes shops during Tyler’s last therapy session (by now you trusted him to not attack Dr.Fern, he needed those sessions), you had found a simple gold plated belt that complimented your waist nicely. This would do as the gold touch, just like the loops on the heels you forgot you had. The outfit hadn’t much color, but again you had never planned to go to the dance in the first place. Checking your phone you noticed that you were already fashionably late, and with a last brush on your hair you grabbed a small purse with your essentials and headed to the boy’s dorm after texting Tyler you were on your way. 

Bass of the music coming from the main hall echoed between the walls and just as you entered through the corridor of the boy’s dorm, Tyler exited his room. For the briefest moment, your breath got caught in your throat. He had always been good-looking, but this…this was something else. The black tuxedo fitted him perfectly, and the crisp white shirt damn, where did he get all that? Lost in your staring you didn’t notice that Tyler had heard you and whipped his head in your direction; nor did you notice that his eyes had widened and were devouring you from head to toes, roaming up your legs and kissing every curve. Without really realizing it you were almost in front of him now, the stomps of your heels the only sound echoing in the corridor. You stopped just inches from him, still mesmerized by his appearance just like he was with yours. 

"Hey," he breathed out in a whisper, unsure of what else to say. 

"Hi stranger," you said back in the same hushed tone. Up close you noticed the discreet gold chain around his neck — probably borrowed to Ajax. Damn he looked way too handsome for his own good. 

His brown eyes burning holes in your outfit contrasted with the bewildered, almost goofy grin that stretched his lips. "You look…you're beautiful."

Chuckling nervously at the compliment you ducked your face to hide the blush that had crept on your cheeks; you could handle every situation but such heartfelt compliments were a first. "You don't look so bad either, tiger. Gonna make a few heads spin tonight."

Tyler let out a grin at your words; he knew that the playful flirt was a sign that you didn't know how to handle the flustered emotions and thus, that he had cracked your shell a little more. Still, it never was his intention to make you uncomfortable so he switched naturally to his flirty being too.

"Oh yeah? What if there's only one head I want to make spin?" he smirked teasingly, leaning to brush his lips against your ear. 

A light chuckle escaped you, "I'd say you already have some advance with that, pretty boy. If that's little old me you're interested in tonight, that's it." 

Eyes lingering on you, he let out a deep whistle, "Well doll, you've definitely caught me for the whole evening dressed like that. Can't wait to see what's under that sexy dress of yours." 

"Who said you'd get any glimpse of that?" you asked teasingly, like you weren't fighting the urge to slam him against the wall and tore his shirt for the last five minutes. Which Tyler obviously knew, given the twinkle of amusement in his eyes. 

"I can be really convincing, trust me sweetheart." 

You grinned at him, and before he added anything else your fingers reached for his shirt, sliding along the collar and down to the opened first button. Under Tyler's burning gaze you slowly popped open the second, then the third button of his shirt, making sure to graze your nails against his naked skin teasingly. Goosebumps erupted on his skin and you glanced up at him with a cocky smirk. 

"That'll help you be convincing," you simply said and he grinned even harder. 

"You know, I'm trying so fucking hard to not rip that dress off you and fucking you in this hallway right now," he breathed out feverishly. 

"Keep trying lover boy," you laughed lightly as you linked your a with his and making the two of you walk to the ball's direction, "you might get a reward later." 

Tyler stifled a laugh. This would take a lot more self-control than taming the Hyde to keep his hands off your ass tonight. And God help you if he doesn't, because you'll take the first opportunity to jump on his bones too, no matter if you were in public or not. 

Arriving at the party, almost everyone was already here. It was rather fortunate, it meant that most of the students were already way too busy with music and drinks to notice your odd pair coming in. Although a few pairs of eyes turned in your direction when you walked in the ball hall; among them, those of Principal Weems, who gave you a nod – with a strange mix of pride and amusement? The whole teenage party atmosphere and loud beat of music suddenly felt rather weird and you chuckled awkwardly to Tyler. 

“Welcome to the jungle. Still wants to take me dancing in there?”

“Is tactical retreat an option?” he said back in a whisper and you shook your head with a laugh. 

“Liquid courage’s an option,” you corrected, “c’mon, let’s head over those cocktails and scare some students.” 

Stumbling across the crowd of students you managed to reach the bar and grabbed two cups of whatever cocktail was being served. Handing Tyler his drink you clinged your cups together before taking a long gulp of the sweet beverage. 

“Is there even alcohol in those?” you grumbled into your cup. 

Tyler snickered, “It’s still a highschool party, doll.” 

Taking a look around the room you noticed a few familiar faces among the dancing students cladded in black and gold. Under the yellow spots you caught the sight of Enid and Ajax dancing like no tomorrow. The werewolf was wearing a flowery gold dress and black platforms with gold stars that made her look like a fairy. The weird dancing of Ajax didn’t seem to bother her so much, the two of them really looked like they were having the time of their lives. 

“She’s too fucking cute for her own good,” you said out loud and Tyler snorted at this. 

“Yeah, when she’s not slashing your face in her werewolf form.”

“Shut up, you’re just upset that you got your ass handed by the cutest thing in the world, Mr Big Bad Hyde.” 

Tyler leaned to whisper in your ear, “I don’t mind when I got my ass handed by you, sweetheart.”

“That’s because I’m sexy as fuck. Now are you going to make me dance or not?” 

It didn’t take more for Tyler to grin and take your hand and drag the both of you to the dancefloor. A laugh escaped you as you bumped into some other students, way too entrapped into their own little world to care. Tyler shot you another grin and tugged you closer, the two of you starting to move your bodies to the rhythm of the loud upbeat music. The light blinded you and the music pierced your earbuds, but you didn’t seem to care, nor minding the proximity with other slightly inebriated students around you. For now all that mattered to you was that for the brief span of a few minutes, you could let go of it all, the pressure, the emotional walls, the constant vigilance. You could be, for a few minutes, just another teenager dancing to lame electro music with a very attractive boy you happened to enjoy the company of. You certainly didn’t mind Tyler’s hands roaming on your hips every once and then. The festive atmosphere even seemed to ease some minds, because you even ended up dancing with Enid, who enjoyed herself way too much to care about your last name. She was like a wild electrode who had the time of her life and her sunny happiness radiated on everyone around, you couldn’t deny her dancing with her. 

After some songs, your legs began to ache and your throat felt dry. Giving a slight nod in the bar direction, you motionned to Tyler that you’d be back soon. Making your way through the crowd, you let out a deep sigh when you finally reached the bar and poured yourself a drink. Just at the same time, Enid popped next to you, looking equally exhausted. 

“Phew! What a party, eh?” 

“Yeah,” you agreed with a smile before gesturing to your cup, “want a drink?”

“Oooh yes please!” she beamed, and clinked the cup you handed her to yours, “cheers!” 

“Cheers.” 

You weren’t even halfway through your drink when a bitter voice spoke up behind you, “Careful with who you’re cheering, Enid. Wouldn’t want her to poison you.” 

Whipping around you glared at the newly arrived Bianca, in a short gold dress with long sleeves. No matter how gorgeous she looked, the venom in her eyes was enough to make you snare at her. Next to her, a very handsome yet uncomfortable looking Xavier was standing but surely he’d wished to be anywhere but here at the moment, looking for his best friend in the crowd. 

“What about minding your own fucking business, Bianca?” you spat at her, grumpy that she ruined your for one joyful mood. 

“I’m just saying,” she said, ignoring you completely, “you seem to be pretty great at suppressing students from this school, maybe Enid should start to worry.”

Glaring even harder at her you took a menacing step in her direction, “I am good at killing monsters, don’t you fucking forget that before you throw threats at me, princess.”

“You think you can impress me after the shit you pulled with Yoko?” she growled at you, standing tall and getting closer. It was a game of asserting dominance, and you knew it. 

“I have nothing to do with what Yoko brought on herself and you know it,” you said bitterly, trying to control yourself to not tear her branchias out of her throat. “So get the fuck off my back.”

“Don’t you really?”

“Piss. off.” 

“What’s going on here?” 

Both of you turned to Tyler and Ajax who had just arrived, having noticed the tense atmosphere at the bar. The Gorgon gave Enid and Xavier confused glances, trying to understand what the fuss was about. Obviously he didn’t dare to ask you or Bianca, he knew better than to interfere in this hissing game. Tyler on the other hand already had more or less an idea of what was going on. 

“None of your business, murderer,” snapped Bianca to Tyler, “if anything I’ll be doing you a favor by getting the Van Helsing bitch out of Nevermore so back off.” 

“What the fuck did you just call me?” you growled again, knuckles turning white around your cup. 

“You heard me. Didn’t know torturing vampires made you deaf.” 

If things were tense before, now they were downright electric. And if it wasn’t for the whole school around you you would have beaten the shit out the siren already; at least as a revenge for the Poe cup. “Yoko asked for what happened to her,” you spat at the siren, “trust me if I had anything to do with it, she would have a spike through her heart right now.”

Bianca only snarled, “Guess you lost your touch since Jeremiah then. How are you sleeping at night?”

“Jesus fucking Christ Bianca, that was three years ago, drop it for fuck’s sake!” you roared, finally losing patience. 

Anger boiling, you didn’t notice the few pairs of eyes that had turned in your direction at your outburst. But it didn’t seem to frighten the siren the slightest, and she only snared in disdain. 

“You can try all you want to pretend that you’re friendly and redeeming, but no one here is willing to be your friend, Van Helsing. You’re just a bitter, sad, miserable lonely bitch.”

Sensing you were ready to lose it again, Tyler put himself slightly in front of you and put a hand on your forearm to prevent you from gouging Bianca’s eyes out. “Okay, that’s enough.” 

Blood still boiling in anger, you let out a frustrated huff and tore your arm from Tyler’s grasp; before storming out of the Rave’n, not caring if you bumped into anyone in the way. The rest of the group looked at you leaving in a hurry, Enid, Ajax and Xavier avoiding eye contact in shame. Bianca smirked. 

“Ooops, my bad.” 

Tyler whipped around, feeling his anger rise even more as Bianca’s satisfied expression grew. The more he looked at her, the more the sounds around him seemed to be deafened, the pumping blood in his veins becoming the only thing echoing between his ears like nothing else existed anymore. Tyler’s vision became red and blurry except for the damned siren’s form and before he could even think about restraining himself, he felt the Hyde crawling throught the depths of his guts. It didn’t seem that bad anymore now, to have this dark presence gradually taking over his mind, because for once no one was controlling him; and Tyler actually craved this violence right now. He just wanted so badly to grip his hand around Bianca’s neck and squeeze so hard it would make her eyes pop out of their sockets.

Maybe it was more than a crave and something like a natural reaction because the next thing he knew, both Ajax and Xavier gripped his shoulders as he stood millimeters away from Bianca, looking feral as ever. Far from impressed, the siren snickered darkly. 

“Do it,” she dared, “attack me, if you want it so bad. It’ll get the both of you expelled.” 

Tyler exhaled loudly through his nostrils, trying to keep himself as composed as he could. Even if he wanted nothing more than to rip her to shreds, a part of him had to admit that Bianca was right. 

“Everyone will see how much of a monster you are,” continued the siren venomously, “and for being such a failure at her job Y/N will go back to juvie. Just where she belongs.” 

“You don’t know anything about her,” growled Tyler. 

“Aww, did the monster fall in love?” she cooed mockingly. “How stupid of you.” 

Tyler tugged his arms harshly out of anger, and the two other boys barely contained him. And surprisingly, just when it looked like they would blow up again, it was Ajax who spoke up to calm things down. 

“I think that’s enough Bianca,” he said calmly, to which she only scoffed in disbelief. 

“What, you’ve got soft? Are you fucking her too? Van Helsing’s a bigger whore than I thought then.”

“Bianca stop,” warned Xavier this time. He was drawing the line at her words, first due to their violence and second because he knew how uncomfortable it was making Ajax. His best friend had come to respect you a lot as a friend in the past weeks, this wasn’t fair of Bianca to paint the Gorgon like an interested asshole. “You’re making a scene.”  

She switched her eyes between everyone in front of her, from feral Tyler to the hard stares of Xavier and Ajax, even the hurt on Enid’s face. Then she huffed in annoyance. 

“Whatever, if everybody’s so keen on fraternizing with the enemy then good luck with staying alive, you fools.” 

With that she stormed away, head high and mingling with the crowd of students like she owned the place. Ajax and Xavier immediately loosened their grip on Tyler’s shoulders. 

“You’re okay man? We’re good?” asked Ajax, and Tyler nodded. A weird silence then took place, before Enid lightly touched his arm. 

“Go talk to her,” she whispered, nodding toward the exit. 

It didn’t take him much to follow the werewolf’s advice, and after a muttered “thanks” to the three students he hurriedly made his way out, unnoticed by anyone else around. 

After a few minutes of searching Tyler found you in the quad, sitting on one of the tables, legs popped on the bench and slouched. A lit cigarette was between your fingers, and even if he couldn’t see your face from where he was, Tyler knew you were upset. 

"Hey," he said softly while coming to your side, "you're okay?" 

"I will be," you answered in a small voice. 

Tyler hadn't heard it ever since that open heart moment when you had shared some of your childhood traumas. Hoisting himself up on the table he sat next to you, his knees brushing yours as a somewhat comforting gesture. 

"It's okay," you mumbled with a weak smile that tried to be reassuring — which wasn't, "Bianca knows what buttons to push, that's all. I'll be better in a few hours."

Inhaling a deep stroke on your cigarette, you couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh as you exhaled it a few moments after. 

"God I can't believe she got under my skin so easily, how pathetic am I?" 

"She's angry, she just said some shit," Tyler tried to convince you, but you shook your head. 

"No, she was right. It's just…for a moment, I wished they didn't think like her, too." 

"Who?" 

"Enid, Ajax, Xavier. Everyone in that school. It's…for once it would be nice to be treated like a human being and not a blood thirsty cruel bitch, you know?" 

That made Tyler's eyebrows rise up high in surprise. You were always one that seemed to not care about what people thought of you, that's what made you so strong. To be honest, you were quite surprised too. A few months ago when you came back to Nevermore, you couldn't care less about other student's opinions; but you had let some of them get closer to you, and now you found yourself to care about that. Part of you hated that the ever so slightly uneasy and scared look in everyone's eyes at Bianca's words had hurt you so much. 

You sighed loudly, feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. “They don’t realize what I’ve done for them,” you muttered. “I’m not asking for honors, for applause or for a damn Nobel Prize, just…if they could leave me alone with this, that’ll be nice.”

Tyler frowned, more concerned than lost now. He knew you, and asking for people to leave you alone instead of fighting them with your fists and sarcasm had never been your style. Nor was feeling guilty about anything. Except…

“You’re not feeling guilty,” he deduced out loud, “about what you did to Jeremiah.”

A light scoff escaped your lips, “Not the slightest. If I had to, I'd do it again in a blink of an eye.”

Tyler observed you for a long minute; then, he nudged, “What happened? What really happened, I mean?” 

Licking your lips, you took your time to crush your cigarette on the table before starting to talk. “Jeremiah was harassing students,” you said bluntly, “used his vampiric powers of suggestion to make them forget what he did and get away with it.”

Tyler’s eyebrows rose in surprise again, but he didn’t interrupt you. 

“When you’re bitten by a vampire, it’s not as glamorous as the movies make it look, especially if you’re a creature yourself. Most of the outcasts feel guilty when they are bitten, because it means you’re nothing but cattle for those more powerful beings that had already been oppressing weaker creatures for centuries. That means you’re either a whore, or a fool.”

“And Jeremiah had bitten students?” guessed Tyler. You nodded. 

“Worse than that, he lured students using his family’s fame, or money, or whatever was interesting for his victims, then he and his little friends bit them. Maybe even did more to some of them. No one ever remembered anything, because they manipulated the victims into believing nothing happened. It could have ended there if they didn’t take pictures of everything and used it as potential blackmail, always taunting to reveal what happened.”

“Blackmail? for what?”

“Nothing really,” you sighed, “they just wanted to have even more power than they already had as higher vampires. Bunch of shitheads.” 

Tyler couldn’t deny that. “And then? Did they try to do the same to you?”

The concern and lingering undertones of fear in his voice warmed your heart a little. “Sure he did. Can you imagine, succeeding at biting a Van Helsing? All of the vampire community would have rolled the red carpet for him. They tried,” you conceded, “and learned the hard way why exactly Abraham Van Helsing actually managed to kill Dracula. Sure my family is a bunch of conservative asshokes, but we know a thing or two about vampire hunting.”

This made you laugh lightly. Even if that whole story was a disaster, you could pride yourself by the fact those pretentious fuckers hadn’t stood a single chance against you. 

“I’m immune to vampires’ suggestion powers,” you explained casually to an impressed Tyler. “Took some years of meditation and some potions, but most of them can’t pull their magic trick with me.”

“Most of them?” repeated Tyler. 

“Except for older, higher vampires, they’re tougher than they look,” you shrugged, “Jeremiah might have been from a higher vampire family, he wasn’t experienced enough.” 

Tyler nodded in understanding and you carried on your story. “At first I didn’t know about their little harassment game. Thought I was the only target because of my name. When I discovered how many victims they had made…I just lost it.” You let out a ragged breath, “Remember when I said that I only hunt actual monsters? Jeremiah was 100% one, for both humans and outcasts. This guy was a menace for every student he deemed inferior to him, in a school which was supposed to be a safe place for them. There was no way I would let that continue, no fucking way.” 

Flicking your cigarette pack open you went to take another one; then you stopped, realizing you didn’t really need another one. It was a shitty habit. 

“It’s true you know,” you said, slightly turning your face to Tyler”s at last, “what Ajax told you. The bomb, Jeremiah and his buddies being beaten up, me admitting the whole thing. All of this is true. He deserved to die like a dog, but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of the easy exit.” 

“But I thought…didn’t you say that you had destroyed him?” 

You laughed bitterly, “Yeah, I did. The bomb neutralized them, got them paralyzed and confused long enough for me to give Jeremiah what he deserved.” 

Tyler was listening so intently, hanged on your lips. Noticing his passionate and awaiting expression, you laughed again and gave him a lopsided grin, the most honest reaction you had to this whole story. 

“I ripped out his canines Tyler,” you clarified to his confused face, and his expression morphed into one of horror. “That’s right, I did. Used his confusion to beat the shit out of him and tore his fucking teeth he was so proud of so he would never hurt someone again. And I fucking loved it.” 

Your words died down in the night, and you became quiet at the realization of how much you had enjoyed retelling this. It wasn’t a pleasant image of yourself you had shown to Tyler – to an outcast – so you thought it was probably enough for tonight. There was no need telling him about the clamp you used, or how you had destroyed Jeremiah’s canines by dissolving them into acid and silver, or how pleased you had been at the sight of his half burned, bloody face. You were hunting monsters, but that night you had been close to being one.

“He  will never hurt anyone again,” you muttered quietly, looking down to avoid Tyler’s gaze. “I did what I had to do, I stopped a monster. I did my job, and I paid for that already. I just wish the students at Nevermore could see I’m not the only one at fault in this story.” 

“You hadn’t exposed the harassment?” asked Tyler in a surprisingly calm voice. 

You shook your head, “What for? There was no witness, and the pictures as proof had been deleted way before my trial. No one would have bought it, even if I’m sure Weems and the board knows what happened but keep it silent because of who’s son Jeremiah is. I was alone in this.” 

Saying that out loud was like opening the gates of every emotion you had kept locked deep inside of you; all the injustice feeling, the bitterness, the loneliness you had felt through all of that, from your arrest to your unfair trial. Even if you had played the card of the laid-back, careless and cocky girl for the longest time - which you were, part of this was true - tonight it was just too hard to ignore how much pain you were in. Blinking away some tears at the corner of your eyes, you circled your arms around yourself, trying to get some warmth in the chilly air. 

"I've always thought that it didn't matter what people thought of me," you admitted in a voice heavy with tears, "as long as there’s at least one person who’s seeing me as someone okay. Not a Saint, but at least worthy of respect." 

You sniffled, whipping your nose, "I've counted on myself to be that person. It’s just…it's so damn hard to try to believe in me right now. No matter how hard I try to make things right, I'll always be the bitch in the story."

A weight landed on you and you looked up to see Tyler’s jacket thrown on your naked shoulders. Through blurry eyes you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything; this simple gesture was so kind it could make you cry in your current emotional state. And Tyler – oh god bless that man, he was looking at you so intently with his deep brown eyes, eyebrows knitted into a confused yet assured expression, the curls on his forehead brushed his skin, the scars on his cheeks weren’t even that noticeable now. Or maybe it was because you were so focused on his eyes and his parted lips, waiting for the mix of bubbling emotions inside him to come out in words. 

His hand came to caress your cheek, cupping it like you were the most fragile thing in the world. Right now, right here, maybe you were. 

“You’re so many things Y/N Van Helsing,” he promised in a whisper, “you have a good heart, no matter how much sarcasm you wrap it in. You don’t need anyone.”

You blinked slowly, struck by his words. Out of all people, you were surprised Tyler was the one reassuring you. Sure, you two had bonded over your mutual goal, and you were in this weird status of fuck buddies but…an insecure part of you still couldn’t believe there was actually someone who was willing to take your defense. For once, the bitter answer that burned your tongue died in your throat.

Tyler brushed his thumb over your cheekbone. 

“But still…I’m lucky to be able to say that you’re someone to me, too.” 

“And what am I?” you whispered, throat tight, “To you?” 

Tyler’s breath tickled your face, as he bore his eyes deep into yours as he whispered, “So much more.”

Too many things came through your mind at this moment. Protest. Laugh. Sarcastic answer. Plea. Denial. Instead of letting all of this go out in what would have definitely been something hurtful, you grabbed Tyler’s hand and dragged him into the school’s corridors without a word. No one had ever told you how to deal with a torn heart; part of you wanted to lower the last defense walls you had put around it, while the other was hissing and pulling those walls up again at Tyler’s words.

It was nothing, just words. But it sounded awfully close to a confession and the little girl that was still here, deep down in you, was scared of it. Sleeping with him was great, and so had been spilling your little sob-story; but you were still counting on the distance you still put between him and your heart to keep you safe, because you couldn’t bear the thought of being vulnerable. Not ever again. 

Tyler wanted nothing but to help you feel better; maybe it was unfair of you to push him away, all while pressing your body against him on your door and kissing him feverishly. But it was the only way for you to not hurt him by saying something you might regret later for the sake of your heart’s protection. So you did the only thing you ever knew to do, you took action. Right now, making out with Tyler was a good way to put your mind off that kind of thing. 

How you two ended up in your room was kind of blurry. You barely remembered stumbling into the room and immediately pushing him against the door to attack his lips, him immediately deepening the kiss. Maybe the jacket put over your shoulder fell on the ground then, or perhaps it had been the result of Tyler’s large hands roaming all over your body, kneading on your hips and lifting the hem of your dress as your tongue twirled against his. The moans that had escaped your mouth at the feeling of his body pressing even harder into yours were echoing like distant memories, just like the ones of your needy hands, clumsily and hurriedly tugging at each other’s pieces of clothing when they weren’t scratching and caressing your skins. 

It was only when you both fell on your bed, Tyler on his back on you on top of him, lips still locked with his, that your brain seemed to reconnect again. You suddenly became very aware of your mutual almost nakedness, of your heavy breathing, his flushed cheeks and the outlines of his hard cock pressing against your clothed core through his underwear. Becoming aware of it, but not bothered in the slightest. 

Letting go of his lips for a moment, you looked down at Tyler, trying to catch your breath. The soft blush on his cheeks somehow made his freckles and scars pop out, and with his glossy eyes and bruised lips you thought he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Diving down you kissed him again, mouth opened against his own. Tyler groaned, rolling his hips against yours and gripping on your back, trying to press you even closer. The feeling of your bra-clad breasts rubbing against his naked chest soon became frustrating, as if the fabric burned you; reaching behind, you unclasped it and lifted your chest just enough to toss the bra somewhere else in the room. As soon as you found yourself pulled flushed against him again, both you and Tyler let out heated moans on each other’s lips. The soft gasp he released gave you the opportunity to ghost your lips on his jaw, trailing kisses on his hot skin. 

Tyler gripped his hands on the roundness of your ass, fingers digging on the flesh as you scraped your nail on his chest, down to the outlines of his belly button before disappearing between your pressed bodies. The firm grasp on his half hard dick elicited a low moan from him, soon followed by another when you started pumping him. His hips bucked against your fist and a lazy smile stretched your lips at the feeling of his cock swelling and pulsing in your palm. 

“Eager, lover boy?” you whispered, teeth grazing his earlobe teasingly, which made him whimper pathetically. 

Instead of making you stop, it only made your strokes more harsh, thumb flicking over the bulby head leaking with precum and a long whine tore from Tyler’s throat. The sound and the thick surface of his veiny dick pulsing in your hand sent a shiver straight down your core, you could feel yourself getting wet in arousal. When you grinded down against his thigh to get some release of your own, Tyler grabbed your hand with a moan. Pulling your face off his jaw you frowned slightly at him, only to meet his flushed, fucked-out expression. 

Between ragged breaths, he managed to give a crooked smile, “ ‘m not gonna last long if you continue like that, doll.”

That brought a grin on your face, and another playful pump on his hard cock, “Mmmh, you’re close already? Gonna cum in my hand and make a mess, pretty boy?” 

The added roll of your hips made him moan even louder, and so did you at the feeling of your own wetness starting to drip down your inner thighs. Tyler’s fingers hooked under your panties and dragged them down the curve of your ass hurriedly, fiddling with the fabric. A chuckle escaped your lips and you lifted your hips slightly to help him with it. The loss of contact on his groin made Tyler groan in frustration.

“Patience,” you grinned lightly, shifting from one leg to the other to help him finally get rid of your panties. 

You leaned forward to kiss him again, and as you started to move your hand again, Tyler broke the kiss. Before you could frown at him again, he tugged harshly on the back of your thighs, making you fall onward with a yelp. Catching yourself on your hands, on each side of his head, you looked down at him curiously only to meet his burning gaze. 

“Want you to ride my face, doll. Please?” 

The erotic request and pleading tone almost made your heart burst on the spot. Instead you only felt the arousal rising even more within your core, and your cunt getting wetter. It was feeling both so intimate and hot, and unexpected. But the burning desire in his brown eyes made your knees weak and threw your hesitations out of the window on the spot; so you nodded, too breathless to speak. Grinning at your silent reaction, Tyler helped you to climb higher on the bed, guiding you until your thighs ended up on both sides of his head. The sight of your glistening pussy above his face elicited a deep growl in Tyler, which made you glance down in unexpected worry. But the second his mouth latched on your cunt you gasped loudly, all worries long forgotten. The sensation of Tyler’s tongue thrusting in you was so delicious, no sound managed to come out of your mouth, lips opened in a silent O and head thrown backward in pleasure. Big hands gripped your hips, tugging you down closer to sit on his face and a high pitched moan bursted out of you at the new angle.

The sound made Tyler grin and become even more feral, lapping at your cunt and thrusting his tongue even harder in your dripping center. The moans it brought out of you only made him more cocky, encouraging him to make you cum the fastest way possible. It didn’t take long before you started to buck your hips against his sinful mouth, grinding on his face like your life depended on it. The sweet swirl of his tongue around your throbbing clit sended a wave of pleasure through your body and your hand automatically reached his hair, gripping on it tightly with a hot whimper. The groan that escaped Tyler’s mouth at your gesture sent vibrations straight against your core, only for you to grind even harder on him. 

Tyler grinned at your reaction and opened his eyes, looking at you from below. The jingling of your thighs and breasts was hypnotizing, but not as much as the utter bliss of the fucked out expression on your face. Lips opened, eyes half closed in pleasure, hair slightly disheveled and pink cheeks; the sight had nothing on the filthiest of his wet dreams. Another hard tug on his hair and a roll of your hips sent a rush of blood down his already stone hard cock, painfully bouncing against his stomach and leaking with precum. But for now it was your arousal dripping down your thighs and on his face that had his full attention. The ruthless thrusting of his tongue became even harder, and you bucked wildly, chasing after your own release. Feeling your juices dripping on Tyler’s face had something so erotic you couldn’t hold back the wanton cries it elicited from you. 

Sensing you were close, Tyler gripped your ass, pushing you closer and you mewled at the sensation of his nose bumping against your clit. A warm knot started to rise in your stomach and you couldn’t stop riding Tyler’s face, too entrapped in your own pleasure to care about any of the loud moans and whimpers escaping your lips. His tongue finally hit that spot deep inside you and your eyes rolled on the back of your skull, a high-pitched moan tearing up from your throat. Tyler gripped your hips, keeping you close to help your riding through your orgasm – and on his face. 

Gradually coming down from your high, you panted heavily on wobbly legs. Tyler’s tongue lapped lazily the remnant of your juices, not bothered by the still tight grip you had on his hair. When you finally recomposed your breathing, you lifted your hips slightly and Tyler inhaled sharply, a satisfied grin on his face. You glanced down at him, letting out a weak chuckle. 

“You look so good with your head between my legs, tiger.” 

He laughed lightly and helped you roll on the side, guiding your hips carefully. Laying down on the mattress, you reached for the back of his neck to bring him down, kissing him deeply. As your mouths moved against the other’s, Tyler ended up laying almost completely on top of you, hands caressing your hips where his fingers had bruised the flesh only a moment before. The poking of his hard length against your thigh kind of broke the softness of the moment and elicited a laugh from you. Opening your legs wider you guided him between them, whining softly when the thick head of his cock grazed your sensitive bundle of nerves. 

Tyler looked down at you, silently asking if you were okay; as the only response, you pressed your hands on his back to bring him closer to you and the roll of your hips did the rest. Your eagerness brushed Tyler’s worries away and he plunged himself in you in one, firm, slow thrust. Still sensitive from the previous ruthless eating out you moaned loudly, Tyler’s groans in your ears echoing your sweet sounds. The warm feeling of the slick walls of your cunt around his already hard dick almost made Tyler cum on the spot, and he started to rock into you at an erratic, messy pace. Soon enough, the wince disappeared from your face, replaced by parted lips and blissed expression in the sound of needy whimpers. Head buried in your shoulder, Tyler pressed messy kisses along your neck and jaw, peppering the skin with lovebites and wet trails of his lips like a starved man. 

When you tried to roll your hips against him but failed miserably with a whimper, feeling physically too exhausted for it, he groaned and pinned you even harder against the mattress. 

“I got you doll,” he breathed against your lips, searching for them, “I got you,” he repeated after a hungry kiss. 

Slipping one of his arms under your calf, he pulled it up slowly, caressing the heated skin with his large palm before pressing it against your chest, almost over his shoulder. A heavy moan tore from your throat when he hit deep inside of you in this new angle. Groaning at your clenching walls sucking in his cock, Tyler blindly searched for your hand clenched on the bed sheets, while the other gripped on his naked back tightly. Before your brain even registered what was going on throughout the hazy lustful haze, you let his hand slip on your own, holding it tightly. Your mind was way too fogged to protest the intimate gesture, just like the pounding of his dick hitting the deep spot inside you made you see stars. Sensing your legs trembling around his hips and on his shoulder, Tyler noticed how tears started to gather at the corner of your eyes through your building orgasm; he wasted no time kissing them away, pressing his lips softly against your face as you moaned his name breathly. 

“Tyler…oh god Tyler – don’t stop–,” you whimpered hotly, nails gripping on in his back and digging deep in the skin.

Feeling his dick twitch painfully in your pussy, Tyler gripped your hand tighter and set an even more harsh pace to his rocking hips. “That’s it sweetheart,” he panted against your neck, “we’re close, you can take this, alright?”

Walls clenched, and your whole body spammed under the overwhelming sensation of your orgasm crashing into you. Your mouth opened in a silent, breathless moan, soon followed by Tyler’s loud groan and the releasing of his hot cum. A new whimper left your lips at the sensation of him painting your insides in white, filling you to the brim in the most sinful, delicious way.

As your orgasm wore off gradually, and Tyler gave you a few more lazy thrust of his hips, you blindly searched his lips with your own, eyes half closed. He found you first, capturing your lips into another bruising, long and passionate kiss; you didn’t even register that his hips had stopped moving, a mix of your juices dripping from between your entangled legs. 

Exhaustion started to sinked in, soon followed by sleepiness crawling at the corner of your mind and you could feel you were already starting to fall asleep. The careful, gentle caress and gestures of Tyler delicately pulling himself out of you, and laying beside you were fuzzy memories; still somewhere deep inside, you felt grateful for that. The last thing you remembered of this grueling evening was the feeling of Tyler’s arm sneaking around you, and his breath tickling your neck as he held you close before you drifted to sleep.

[Part.7] 

A/N: Okay so last week’s been HECTIC and I just have some time for myself now, I’m sorry this chapter took so long to be posted sljglbgl 

On a brighter side, since I cut it in half or something, hopefully the next one will be finished quicker! :DD 

Thanks everyone for reading, I hope you enjoyed this part ♥

Hope you’re all doing okay, take care of you ♥

Taglist: 

@igotanidea​ @officerrrfriendly​ @beggingforxavierthorpe​ @aliciahlewis​ @stresseyzesty​ @katiemrty​ @leightonsteele @black-swan-blog27​ @mooniesthings​ @nightfurya​ @steadypoetrydinosaur​

Usernames unfound by Tumblr: 

@spiceyhotsherbet

Plz tell me if I’ve forgotten you in the taglist (or if you wanna join!)

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

bestie could you write a blurb with virgin reader and H? something soft please

Hello, friend! Siiiii! Oui! Of course! here it is. It's more of a one shot, but it's very romantic and soft and sweet! I hope you like it:)

(the pic has nothing to do with the story, he just looks so cute and cozy here ☺️)

Y/N had never planned to still be a virgin well into her twenties. She had dated and fooled around with a few people before and had come close to actually having sex but she would just get so nervous when it came down to actually doing it. She also figured that when she found the right person for her she wouldn't feel so anxious and stressed about actually having sex with them and this seemed to be the absolute truth. Now she was with Harry and they'd been together for a little over three months and he was incredible and genuine and one of the best people she had ever dated. He had worked so hard on himself and it was noticeable and that made it so easy for her to start to fall for him. She hadn't even been thinking about it too hard, she just one day accepted that she would want him to be her first. The realization came naturally and without any external persuasions, he was always so respectful when it came to their sexual lives.

The only thing she was nervous about was telling him this because she hadn't explicitly told him that she was a virgin, she wasn't fully inexperienced so maybe he thought she wasn't, but now that she was thinking about having sex with him she needed to be honest about it. He knew that she wanted to take it slow, but that was all she had told him. In her mind, withholding the truth was a form of lying and she was nervous that he would be upset with her for not telling him sooner or something. A lot of her concerns were born from what past partners had put her through when she would share this with them and she would constantly talk herself through the fact that Harry was not any of those people. He was a completely different person and he had proven to be an excellent partner and he would understand. He always did. She had to tell him...

"Baby?" Harry's voice broke her out of her thoughts and she focused on his face in the dim light of his bedroom, "You seem distracted. You seem to be far off somewhere." he said and she sighed and swallowed down the lump in her throat, "Baby, we don't have to do anything if you're not in the mood for it." he reassured her as he rolled off of her and onto his side. He removed his hand from her inner thighs and instead draped his strong arm over her waist and pulled her to lay on her side too, facing him. Her eyes met his own and she sighed, "What is it, angel?" he asked with a slight frown and she sucked her bottom lip for a second before deciding to speak.

"I have to tell you something." she said and he hummed, giving her his undivided attention. His eyes bore into her own intensely and it made her nervous but she inhaled deeply before proceeding, "I've wanted to tell you this before, I just got a little nervous about it." she explained and he nodded, "I'm uh...I'm still a...virgin." she spoke the word so quietly as if she were giving him bad news at the doctor's office or something. She felt like his silence lasted for eons when in reality it was probably a second or two at the most. When his lips quirked up in a smile she got this horrible feeling in her chest, someone had made fun of her for this before and she was getting ready for it now.

"Why are you saying it like that?" he asked and she frowned in confusion.

"Like what?"

"Like it's a bad thing? I don't know." he said.

"Because I didn't tell you from the start? I thought you might get upset that I wasn't upfront about it." she explained with a small pout and he leaned in and kissed it right off her lips.

"Baby, no. You don't owe me explanations and I'm not upset with you." he reassured her and she looked relieved, "But now I want to ask you something and I want you to be 100% transparent with me." he said and she nodded, "Swear?"

"I swear." she repeated and he nodded.

"Are you telling me this now because you feel like I'm pressuring you in some way? Or maybe pushing the boundary a little bit?" he asked with concern drenching his expression now and she shook her head immediately.

"No, baby! Not in the slightest. You've been so respectful and conscious about how we do things and just every part of our sexual relationship and umm... I actually wanted to tell you now because I..." she trailed off, "I want to do it w-with you." her voice was so small and meek as she confessed this to Harry.

"Me? A-are you sure?" he asked, perplexed and she giggled.

"Yeah, I'm positive." she nodded, "I've always told myself that when I was ready for my first time I wouldn't feel too concerned and nervous about it. That person would make me feel comfortable and safe and cared for instead of anxious about it. I shouldn't have to debate it or talk myself into it, you know? It should feel natural and easy and...right, I guess." she said and he smiled at her, it was such a soft and gentle smile.

"Oh." was all he said and for some reason he was the one blushing like mad.

"Yeah." she responded timidly and broke eye contact with him for a second before glancing back into his eyes and he still hadn't said anything else, "If you don't want t-"

"It's not that! I want to. Believe me! I have thought about it so many times." he said quickly, almost too eagerly and she giggled as he went all pink in the face again as he admitted this, "I'm just really happy that you feel that way with me and it's like..." he stopped for a moment as he thought his words through, "I just felt what you said really deeply." he finished and she smiled, "I feel that way with you too." he smiled as he said these words to her and she leaned in and kissed him slowly.

Their kiss got deeper and more intense and her body was yearning to be near him, to get closer, to feel more, to just be taken over by him. She hadn't wanted anyone like this before, this feeling of need was new to her. It wasn't just a sexual need, it was an emotional and intimate need. She wanted him so badly that she felt like she was burning from the inside out, she had never felt anything so overwhelming before.

Despite her recent confession to him, Harry still hadn't made any move to take things further than kissing while having his thigh between her legs as she ground down against him. Every now and again she would kind of brush up against his raging hard erection and it would make him tense up a bit. He could feel himself throbbing, but he didn't want to assume anything just because she said she wanted him to be her first. But then she reached into his hair, tugging it gently as their lips parted sloppily.

"Please, baby." she keened and he looked into her eyes.

"You want to do it today? Like ri-right now?" he asked her and she nodded, they were so close that their noses nudged as she nodded her confirmation, "But I didn't even do anything nice for you or-"

"I don't care about that." she said and he chuckled, "I've only been waiting 20 plus years to see what all the fuss is about." she giggled and he laughed along wit her.

"Well, I'll try my best to make it worth your while." he grinned and she hummed.

"It'll be perfect because it's with you. It’s us." she said with a meek smile and that made his heart skip a beat. He had a lot of feelings for her and they had built quickly. Y/N appreciated him for who he was at his core and things just felt so easy and right with her, much like she had described. He smiled as he looked into her eyes.

“Yeah, it’s us.” He hummed and she smiled back at him. “Gonna start by making you feel good. Get you really turned on and wet fo’me.” He said and she smiled.

“I don’t think we’ll have a problem with that.” She grinned mischievously and he chuckled, his dimples carved deep into his cheeks.

“Is that so?” He questioned and she nodded, “Can I feel?”

“Yeah, please." she verbalized her eagerness and he kissed her deeply before shifting his position to kneel between her legs.

His big, warm hands smoothed up her thighs and when he reached her hips his thumbs rubbed up and down soothingly before he glanced up into her eyes again.

“Gonna take these off.” He said and she nodded. He lifted her top up a bit to reveal the band of her sweatpants and leaned down to her stomach, his warm lips smooched kisses to the top of her sweat pants as his fingers dipped into the sides of the waistband and started to tug them down. His lips followed behind on every new piece of skin that was exposed up until he reached her underwear.

If there was something that Y/N was not used to yet was his adoration for going down on her. The first time he did it she came within two minutes and he didn’t stop until she had come at least three times. She had never experienced anything like it, if she’d let him that’s all he would do, he’d said it to her countless times, he just liked it so much. And as he kissed over the top part of her panties she was preparing herself for what she was soon to come. He stopped though and then kissed each of her bare thighs as he continued removing her sweats. Then each of her knees and then he just removed the pants from the rest of her legs and tossed them to the side as he lowered himself onto his stomach and she spread her legs wider for him and he moaned as he kissed over her clothed pussy. His lips could already feel her arousal slightly seeping through the fabric of her underwear and as he reared back a bit he could see the damp spot more now that he had pressed the fabric closer when he kissed her. He glanced up to see her propped up on her elbows, she watched him with bated breath and he bit his lip as he brushed his thumb over where her clit was and he watched her legs tense up and her jaw drop open slightly. He added more pressure and she let out a puff of air through her mouth before she swallowed hard.

“You’re so wet for me, angel.” He hummed and she nodded, “Doesn’t take much, does it?” He teased lightly but she shook her head.

“Not with you.” She said and that certainly gave him the confidence to nuzzle his mouth and nose against her. Her fists tightened up into her bed covers in anticipation of his next move. His blunt nails raked down her inner thighs, the action covered her body in goosebumps and he smiled.

“So fucking perfect.” He hummed against her and she moaned quietly. She was so sensitive and the vibrations of his voice made a chill travel through her body.

“Baby, please.” She pleaded and he smiled and nodded. His index fingers looped into her underwear and she lifted her hips to allow him to tug them down her legs. He raised her legs off to the side to completely get them off of her. Once they were off he immediately parted her legs again and latched onto her pussy. "Oh my god..." she moaned and just dropped into the mattress which made him smile as he got to work.

She always came quickly when he went down on her, but this time she was sure that things would go even faster. The vibe of everything was different, he wanted to make her feel amazing, he wanted to get her ready and relaxed so that he could fit inside of her this time. So after he made her come with his mouth he gently introduced his fingers, he was gentle as he prodded deep into her until her legs would tense up in pleasure.

"They're-they're so deep!" she'd whimper and he'd pop off her clit for a second to tell her that she was doing so well as he curled his fingers up so that he could rub the pads of them into her g-spot and she groaned loudly and he hummed as he started to suck at her swollen, little clit again, "Oh my god, yes! Don't stop!" she mewled as her legs started to tremble as her abdominal muscles tightened up, preparing her for another orgasm.

"Come for me, baby." He said and she immediately started to wither around his fingers. Her walls pulsing erratically around him as he flicked his tongue over her clit as he worked her through it. This time he wasn't going to give her a break, while she was relaxed form her orgasm he needed to stretch her just a bit more, "Baby, gonna add another finger." he warned her and kissed her inner thigh, "Need to stretch you out a little more for me, OK?" he explained and she mumbled an acknowledgement, her body tense, "Baby, relax for me. I'm not going to hurt you." he assured and she inhaled before releasing a shaky breath and relaxing, "Good girl." he said lowly and she shivered at that and he smiled up at her as he started to rub over her folds with three fingers now. He glanced down and placed his fingers against her entrance vertically, instead of horizontally first and he looked up at her again and she nodded. Harry then started pushing them in and she gasped softly at the new stretch, her brows creased down as she tried to relax.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked and she shook her head.

"I can take it." she assured and he stopped and climbed up to her and kissed her lips slowly.

"We don't have to do this all tonight." he said and she pouted.

"I know, I just...I want you so bad." she explained in a little whine and he kissed her pouty lips.

"I do too, angel. But I don't want to hurt you. If it hurts please tell me." he said softly and she swallowed hard.

"How about we kiss while you try again?" she asked and he nodded. It helped her a lot when he was up there with her, talking to her, encouraging her. After a few more tries he was able to get in further and despite her discomfort at this new feeling she assured him to go on.

"They're halfway in, that's plenty to open you up a little more." he assured her as he pumped them in and out a few times and she nodded, "Is that OK?"

"Stings a little." she confessed.

"I'm sorry, baby. Should I stop?" he asked again and she assured him that she didn't want that.

"It's not bad, just different." she explained, her voice pinching a bit and he hummed in understanding. Three fingers was a bit thicker than his cock, so at least he knew his cock wouldn't hurt her.

"If anything bothers you or hurts please tell me." he reminded her and she nodded. He started to rub his thumb into her clit and she relaxed a little more and she whimpered softly and he hummed, "There we go." he encouraged her and she moaned a little louder now as the discomfort subsided a bit more and she started to buck her hips along with his movements, "That's it, baby, that's it." he hummed and she gasped as he got in a bit deeper.

"I'm getting close." she whined, "Wanna come around you, not your fingers." she said against his lips and he nodded.

"OK, baby.” He replied, acknowledging her request. Her hands were already wandering down the front of his hoodie and quickly were at the waistband of his shorts. Her fingers traced over the elastic, tickling his skin every now and again before wandering further down to palm and run over his erection. He sighed against her mouth as she added a bit more pressure.

“Can’t wait to feel you.” She whispered and his eye fluttered closed as he moaned. His hips shifted and rutted against her hand all on their own. He was so turned on and eager to feel her for the first time. He had been imagining it for a while and as much as he wanted to just lose himself in the moment he wanted to ensure that he remained focused and mindful of her now that he knew just how much she trusted him.

“If you keep talking like that I’m gonna last all of 30 seconds.” He mumbled against her lips as he chuckled and she grinned.

"30 seconds?!" she laughed and he nodded.

"Already gonna be pushing it with this being our first time together. Don't want to make it worse." he said and she shook her head.

"Already told you, it's us, so it's going to be wonderful and I don't care about anything else." she said and he smiled. Harry was a professional over-thinker, if he could get paid for it he would and this was a prime example of how it would start. But something he really loved and appreciated about Y/N was her ability to talk him down from it, even now, when it was one of her big firsts and he was the one getting in his head about it.

"You're right." he smiled, "Let me grab a condom." he said and she nodded. He tore off his hoodie as he made his way to the bathroom and she did the same, also getting her bra off and then leaning back.

It's not like she wasn't a bit nervous, she had heard horror stories before of people bleeding or hurting so bad they cried and those were at this very moment coming to mind, but she just took a few deep breaths and shook it off. Harry was caring and gentle with her, he was patient and even went as far as preparing her a bit for this and her want for him outweighed everything else. So when she felt his weight dip the mattress she shot up pulled him down a bit to kiss him and he moaned into it. She could hear the wrapper of the condom crinkling about as his shaky hands tried to get it open.

"Got it." he said quietly when he finally opened it and she settled herself back against a pillow. Everything Harry did was attractive, even now as he carefully rolled the condom over his shaft. She bit her lip as it seemed to be a relatively tight fight. The thicker band of latex at the end of the condom seemed to indent just a bit around his girth.

"Are you sure that fits you? It's not uncomfortable?" she asked and he chuckled.

"Yeah, baby and no, it's not. S'supposed to be a little snug, can't have it slipping off during. And if it were too tight it'd start to ride up a bit until it rolls off, so this is good." he assured her and she nodded in understanding. Well, he should know, she thought to herself. He then reached beside her and pulled down one of the pillows, "Gonna put this under your hips." he said and she arched up to him slide it under.

"What for?"

"That spot inside that you like me to reach when I use my fingers," he said, "Want to get there so you can definitely feel good." he said and she nodded as he came closer and then lowered himself over her, "You alright?" he asked quietly and she nodded, "Not nervous or anything?"

"A tiny bit, but I know you'll take good care of me." she responded and he nodded.

"I will, baby. I don't want to bombard you with questions, so if you want something different or something's not feeling comfortable or good just tell me, OK?" she nodded, "And well, inversely, if something feels really good and you like it or if you want more you can tell me too." he said with a smile, "Y'know I like to hear all your pretty sounds." he said and she smiled.

"Kiss me." she adjourned and he leaned in and molded their lips together delicately. As their kiss went on he guided her left leg over his hip, opening her up a bit more and this allowed her to feel the full weight of his cock over her vuvla. His hips started to buck against her swollen and wet pussy, they could hear how wet she was for him, "Oh..." she moaned as the tip started to nudge into her clit over and over, making her grind up against him to increase the friction until she was digging her fingernails into his biceps as her body started to tense up, "I-I'm going to come!" she gasped and he bit his lip and started rutting faster, his own body became riled up at the friction and just how easily she had been built up. With a stream of moans she was withering beneath him as his grinding slowed in pace as to not overstimulate her, "Oh my god..." she panted through a chuckle and he grinned, "Sorry, I didn't mean too."

"Well, it's better if you're this relaxed." he assured and she smiled up at him as he shifted his hips down and gently pressing forward as his tip slipped down towards the dip of her entrance. She could feel his tip just crowning at her opening and she bit her lip at the feeling. The anticipation was growing inside of her rapidly, "Is this alright?" he asked and she nodded her eyes locked on his, "Gonna start pushing in, OK?" he warned her.

"OK." she whispered, voice hitched with nerves before she glanced up to the ceiling and picking a spot to focus on. A soft touch to her cheek pulled her focus back.

"Baby, look at me." he implored and her eyes fluttered back into his, "Right at me, baby." he insisted and she took a deep breath and nodded up at him and he took that as his permission to start pushing into her and her mouth immediately fell open as he breached her entrance and she gasped, immediately tensing up at the somewhat foreign feeling. He wasn't moving or anything, just giving her time to adjust. "Are you OK?" he asked and she nodded.

"Yes, it's alright." she responded, "S'just different." she said, voice a bit strained, "Keep going." she said and he nodded and continued moving forward gently and slowly. Harry moaned at the warmth and tight fit around him as Y/N slightly hissed at the slight discomfort, but his intrusion was welcomed and everything he had done beforehand had definitely made this easier on her. The discomfort didn't last more than a few seconds; that is until he was fully sheathed inside of her and she gasped, "Oh my god!" she winced and he tightened up his jaw, fighting every instinct inside of him that begged him to start moving, "Y-you're so deep!" she whimpered and he nodded.

"I know, baby." he responded breathily.

"Does it feel good for you?" she asked and he nodded quickly.

"Yes. So fucking good. You're so good, baby." he strained out and she smiled slightly. After holding himself inside for a bit she told him to move.

Harry's thrusts were gentle and slow, this was to both of their benefits. He ended up continuing on his knees as this gave him a better range of motion and allowed him to control his thrusts better and also to let his thumb start to rub over her clit. After some moments of this she started to moan as the pleasure started to build. She felt so full and he was right, his cock was hitting that spot that made her see stars, she could feel him nudging and rubbing into it until her legs were quaking and her her breathing was ragged. Their free hands were joined and their fingers intertwined, she was squeezing his for dear life as she got closer and closer. Her back arched and her legs stiffened as the feelings started to build to impossible ranges. She felt like she would explode as the sounds of pleasure continued to pour out of her.

"A little faster. Please!" she keened and he listened, picking up his pace just a bit more. She groaned out his name as her back arched, this was exactly what she needed and it was making her vision go blurry as the pleasure started to expand through her body deliciously.

"Oh god, can feel you're getting close." he swallowed hard and she nodded, "Come for me, baby." he panted and she nodded and whimpered as the feeling started to burn through her as she cried out his name and trembled beneath him.

Harry moaned and fell forward, his mouth fell open as he breathed hard and grunted as her orgasm pushed him over the edge. Her arms hugged around his back as her legs squeezed around his hips, pulling him in closer. Their eyes met, hers all glossed over and hazy as he started to come undone. His thrusts got a bit harder and erratic as he lost all of his control as his orgasm blazed through his body. He moaned into her mouth as her nails raked down his back hard, "Oh fuck, oh fuck!" he moaned with her and then stilled deep inside of her, making her gasp as he started to spill inside the condom. Immediately, their lips met in a frantic kiss, even if they were in dire need of air, this seemed more important.

"Love you." he panted, "I love you so much." he repeated and she smiled against his lips as their eyes blinked open again, "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you another time but-"

"I love you too, Harry." she cut him off and he smiled.

"Yeah?" he asked for reassurance and she nodded, the tears that had been welling up her eyes finally escaped and he reached up with one of his hands to wipe them away. He was starting to soften up and he decided to stay inside until he was softer to avoid any further discomfort for her, "Are you OK? Was that alright for you?" he asked cautiously and she nodded.

"It was good." she smiled, "Really good. Best I ever had." she joked and he giggled and shook his head. "Thank you for making it good for me and checking on me." she said, "And you had nothing to worry about, you lasted." she said and he laughed softly.

"That was five minutes at most." he said and she looked shocked, "But thank you for the confidence boost." he said with a grin and she kissed his lips again.

"No way... So what's the usual time you...go for?" she asked and he chuckled.

"At least fifteen minutes or twenty minutes. On a really good day." he said with a chuckle.

"That's a long time!" she gasped.

"It's... respectable." he said and she giggled.

"Well, whatever it is I can't wait to try more things with you, baby." she smiled and he grinned upon hearing this from her.

"I can't either. Thank you for trusting me with this, I'm happy it was me." he said quietly and she smiled up at him before they kissed for a bit more until he was able to pull out of her without too much discomfort on her end.

Harry then made sure to clean her up with a nice warm rag and brought her some water and helped her get dressed before they settled into bed. They were cuddled close together as his hands caressed her body soothingly as she curled into his chest. She felt so good, she couldn't stop smiling as she started to doze off as he played with her hair. Her vision was blurring as she succumbed to the warmth he provided her and the last thing she heard before giving in to her exhaustion was a whispered "I love you" that carried into her dreams of him and everything that they could be.

[darkprince1110]

The fire squad all I having dinner

Tylee; this is so great 

Mai: who would’ve thought that U2 would be celebrating your 5 year anniversary

Zuko: got to say I’m a little surprised, but I’m happy for you guys

Y/n: thank you I know it doesn’t show, but coming from you fire lord that means a lot

Azula: wait a minute Zuzu what do you mean you’re surprised 

Zuko scratches his head nervously 

Zuko: I mean, U2 are well U2 are 

Tylee: interesting

Mai: your mean

Azula: oh that’s just part of our charm

Y/n; in other words deal with it

Azula & y/n laugh

Tylee: you too, are so cute together

Tylee: when did you know you were in love 

Y/n: that’s easy I knew when she said, we would dominate the Earth together

Azula: and do you remember your response?

Y/n: I don’t recall 

Azula:you cackled maniacally 

Y/n: and people don’t normally do that ?

Azula: and that’s when I knew that you were worth keeping around

Y/n maniacally cackles

Zuko: now I’m more concerned



[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Azula x Kai Series: Part 7

Click here for Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five and Part Six

When they returned to the Fire Nation the first thing Kai did was ask Azula if he could be moved to the servant section of the palace. He was still ambivalent towards Mai and Ty lee but he couldn't stand the idea of going back to their house alone. Azula agreed and went one better, giving him a spacious guest room in the palace and having guards move his belongings in for him. She also said he deserved a better title than guard and he was now promoted to palace advisor which meant he was able to attend some of the larger war meetings and followed Azula around like a personal bodyguard. His parents wrote to him congratulating him on his promotion and everything he'd achieved. They didn't even mention Mai and it was crystal clear there were allied with the people on the throne over anything else. Kai didn't know how to feel about that. The Fire Nation were moving fast and the warships were growing in number every day. Ozai announced when the invasion would be and of course it was on Sozin's comet, the day when fire-bending power was enhanced. Kai saw Azula every day but in some ways, it didn't feel like it. She was so busy now attending meeting after meeting after meeting while also getting in time to train. Kai tried to tell her to slow down but she'd shot him a look like he'd grown another head and reminded him "we're at war" which Kai supposed was fair but he noticed the toll it was having on her. Azula acted, as always, like nothing bothered her and didn't speak of Mai or Ty lee since their return. Kai hadn't dared bring them up but he could see their betrayal had weakened her and made her feel more vulnerable. She was snapping more at the servant and behaving more erratically than usual. Kai figured it might be better once they actually left for war but Ozai scrapped that plan. Kai was there when Ozai told Azula she wouldn't be coming with him to face the Avatar and was shocked by her reaction. "You can't treat me like this, you can't treat me like Zuko!" she cried and although Ozai scolded her she continued. "But it was my idea to burn everything down to the ground, I deserve to be by your side!" when Ozai just shouted her name and Azula looked down stricken. Kai had never seen Azula ever speak back to her father and she'd never so much as uttered a word against him to Kai's knowledge. Kai thought this showed how much stress Azula was under and began to panic about what Ozai might do to her. Sure she'd been Ozai's favourite all her life but there was no love there and Ozai could take this act of defiance aggressively. Kai watched, a hand on his sword ready to do god knows what when Ozai revealed he wasn't taking Azula because she was to stay here and rule as Fire Lord. "Fire Lord Azula?" she asked and Kai stared at her, aware of how much this meant to her...but something didn't feel right. This wasn't how Azula's coronation was supposed to be. Her getting the throne just because Zuko and Iroh were traitors and Ozai was taking over the world? Kai had pictured it as Ozai training Azula for many years and then at an old age stepping down and allowing Azula to take full reign. This just seemed off and to have a coronation in the middle of a war? That was hasty and desperate, neither of which was Azula's style.

However Azula was thrilled with the idea and began preparing for her upcoming coronation. Or at least she said she was thrilled but Azula was way smarter than Kai and he knew if he'd managed to think of the oddities with this coronation so would she. He overheard her whispering to herself more and more and she got less sleep and food each day. The bags under her eyes were growing despite the treatments she was undergoing for her coronation and Kai was almost nervous to mention it to her. She'd been prickly and hot-headed a lot lately and servants were going out of their way to avoid her. One day a servant saw Kai coming and tried to run so fast that she tripped over and dropped the bowl she was holding. She immediately began to cry and Kai helped her telling her it was okay. "No it's not, the princess will kill me" she said and Kai assured her Azula was a kind ruler...and that she wasn't with him, the latter of which definitely made the girl stop crying. Kai tried his best to shield them from Azula, figuring it would get better any day now but it just got worse. Azula started banishing people first just servants who got in her way or inconvenienced her and then trusted teachers like Li and Lo and finally the Dai Li. Kai was busy putting out other metaphorical fires around the palace when he heard and rushed to Azula in her throne room. "The Dai Li..." he asked "what happened?". "They took 5 minutes to arrive after my summon" Azula said matter-of-factly and Kai froze waiting for more but that was it. "5 minutes?" he asked and Azula exploded "yes 5 minutes! Isn't there anyone competent here? Must I always do everything myself? They took too long to get here so I banished them". Kai paused "but I...they were the palace's last defence". "And?" Azula asked "I can handle Zuzu on my own with one arm tied behind my back". "But Zuko won't be alone, he might bring the water bender or the earth bender, maybe both". "And?" Azula snapped "then you can finally do something useful for once and handle them, if it's not too much for you". Kai knew Azula was under a lot of stress but her words chilled him and they were too much. Kai shook his head "Azula I won't go back to being spoken to like that. You're my Firelord and I will do as you say but I deserve a little respect". The flames behind Azula rose and Kai thought she was genuinely going to attack him before they suddenly simmered and went calm. She nodded her head. That was it, no apology or words left her mouth but it was an acknowledgement. "We need to re-assess the battle plan now with the Dai Li...". "Gone?" Kai offered and Azula nodded. Kai nodded "I'll do it, why don't you go get something to eat or rest. Your coronation is soon and you deserve some pampering". Azula nodded her head "yes...I do need to look my best" and Kai smiled "that won't be hard". A hint of a smile passed Azula's tired face but then it disappeared. Kai bowed to her "let me know if you need anything at all princess" and he left feeling like he'd just got out of a burning building somehow unscathed. Kai noticed he had a calming effect on Azula and so tried to be around her as much as possible but that couldn't always work. For instance when he left her to prepare for the coronation he returned to find the mirror smashed and her hair chopped off in places. When he asked her what happened she just said she got angry but she was very jumpy and Kai wasn't feeling good about this. The coronation was scheduled to happen just before Sozin's comet as that was when Zuko would likely arrive. So Kai led her to the large courtyard praying Zuko wouldn't show but of course he did. Zuko arrived with the waterbender and Kai was ready to attack her when an Agni Kai was arranged. Zuko and Azula launched into an epic battle and Kai decided to stay while the few remaining fire nation staff ran for cover. He had to move back when the fighting started because the flames reaches so far but he refused to move further because Azula wasn't herself. She was off, unhinged and he could see she wasn't doing her best. She was still giving Zuko a fight but this wasn't going as planned. When Azula fell Kai rushed forwards and Zuko's eyes shot to him. "Back!" he yelled "this is between me and my sister". "Like hell it is!" Kai replied going to grab his bow when the sky thundered and he realised Azula wasn't done yet. She was generating lightning and Zuko prepared for the bolt when at the last moment Azula changed direction and sent it right at the water bender. Zuko jumped in front of it and went down to the floor. He didn't get back up. There was silence as the smoke cleared and Kai cheered. "Azula! Azula you've done it!" when a bolt narrowly missed him. Azula was not celebrating and Kai wasn’t sure if she was even aware of him anymore. The water bender was still up and Azula was perusing her but destroying everything in her way. Kai had to leap out of the way as another bolt came near him and he could hear Azula laughing maniacally. He ran for cover and watched from the side as she attacked the water tribe girl clearly aiming to kill her. She wasn't acting like herself and she looked unwell. She was attacking in a frenzy and Kai knew this wasn’t right. She was going to hurt herself or everyone around them. He stood in a daze unsure what to do when the water tribe girl in the blink of an eye had Azula in chains. She formed a bubble around Azula trapping her and then tied her up. There was a brief silence as everything stopped and then Azula collapsed to the floor and began squirming to get out. The water bender must've forgotten Kai was there because she ran over to Zuko who was literally smoking. While she was healing him Kai stumbled out to where Azula was screaming and fighting with more than just the chains. She finally saw him and gasped "Kai! Kai come and undo these, we can take them down together!". "Azula I...". "What are you hesitating for?" she cried "am I your Firelord or not? Untie me this instant or I will burn you down with the rest of them". Before Kai could do anything he sensed movement behind him and rushed to Azula, turning in time to see Zuko and the waterbender watching him. "Give up! You can't win" Zuko yelled "we'll take you down right away" but the waterbender tried another approach. "You can see she needs help, she's in no fit state to rule. Let us help her". "Why should I trust you?" he asked "you're the enemy". "We don't have to be" the girl said and Kai softened. The girl could've killed Azula but she didn't, she just restrained her, plus she was a healer. Maybe she could help Azula. Azula needed a healer more than anyone, he just wanted to see her better.  So with a small nod Kai lowered his weapon and stepped away from Azula. "Azula I'm sorry" he said but she just began cursing him until finally the waterbender restricted her oxygen and put her to sleep. Katara inspected Azula, gently touching her temples before running water across them with her bending. "There, she'll sleep more soundly" she said "but she could wake up at any moment. We have to get her somewhere secure". Kai nodded and the girl seemed surprised he was so agreeable so he clarified "for Azula's sake too". Katara undid the restraints on Azula and Kai picked the unconscious Azula up, leading Katara inside. On the way Zuko touched her arm "Katara you don't have to do this, to help her". "She's your sister!" Kai spat "not that you ever cared". "Not that I ever cared? She had everything in the world!". "She has an abusive cold father while you had a doting mother, uncle and girlfriend. Ty lee and Mai were the only friends she had and they left her for you! I was the only person who still stood by her and at the end and even i betrayed her! She has nothing Zuko and she never did. When are you going to get that through your thick skull? You weren't the only abused child, you had a little sister there too". Kai's words only seemed to anger Zuko and sensing this Katara intervened "I want to help Zuko, Kai willingly surrendered and I want to re-pay him...and Azula". Zuko just shrugged and the two continued on their way. Kai was following the path to Azula's room before he realised the dungeons was probably where they would be staying now. Katara paused as he gestured to some keys in a guard's office and he got her to unlock the biggest cell. He laid Azula down on the small cot and Katara pretended not to look awkward. She healed Azula's wounds the best she could but told Kai there was nothing she could do for Azula's mental state. Kai thanked her for trying and told her she could lock the cell with them both in.

That situation did not last long, when Azula woke up she was volatile and violent, attacking anyone and anything in her path. She was furious to see Kai there and got him a few times before they could get him out of the cell. Azula wouldn't listen to him she'd only scream insults at him. Over and over again about how worthless and pathetic he was. How she never liked him and hated being around him. His parents must be so ashamed of him and other hateful stuff like that. They finally managed to tranquilise Azula and Katara quickly healed Kai's fresh wounds but she could do nothing about how he was feeling internally. The decision was made to move Azula from prison to a mental health facility on the outskirts of the city which was basically still a prison. Kai went with her and visited her every day although he experienced the same onslaught of abuse, when she wasn’t tranquilised and semi-conscious. He felt it was his duty to try and repair things with Azula but not everyone agreed. One day his sister came to find him. He knew Mai and Ty lee were back in the capital but hadn't tried to see either of them. He blamed them for Azula's breakdown as it was their betrayal that started it all. Azula was asleep and Kai was sat outside her room when his sister entered. They engaged in some small talk, or well Mai asked questions and Kai gave vague blunt answers not wanting to speak to her. Finally Mai said what she'd come here to say".

"Why do you come every day Kai?" Mai asked "you don't owe her anything". Kai glared at Mai but she carried on "she just shouts abuse at you all day and didn't treat you that better when she wasn't like this!". "Stop talking" Kai said but Mai didn't listen. "You need to move on, it's not good you spending all this time here! Mum and dad are worried about you and so am I. She's not going to get better and even if she does...". "Shut up!" Kai yelled "don't you dare even finish that sentence. She's in this cell because of you!" he said pointing at his sister "do you have any idea what your betrayal did to her? She used to mumble your names over and over again even in her sleep. Your line about how you loved Zuko more than you feared her started hallucinations about her mother because that's the last person who felt that way about her. You broke her Mai and now you're telling me to leave her here and what go worship that idiot on the throne? Fuck you Mai and if you ask me to do it one more time I will stick an arrow through you". Mai didn't really react much to Kai's outburst but she did leave the room silently allowing Kai to sink back into his chair and put his head in his hands. A few days later he got another visitor but this time it was Ty lee. She brought flowers for Azula and had a sad nervous look on her face "hi" she said but Kai didn't reply. He was less angry at Ty lee as he was Mai but she still left them... left him. "I wanted to come sooner but didn't know if you'd want visitors. I spoke to your parents and they said you never come home so I figured it would have to be here". "What do you want Ty lee?" Kai asked and she paused "to see you and to say...I'm sorry". "You're sorry?" Kai asked and she nodded "not for saving Mai or standing up to Azula but for leaving you and hurting her. I had no idea Azula...or that she'd...it's really sad to see her like this and I'm sorry for causing this". Kai nodded but didn't speak so Ty lee glanced towards the door. "I also just wanted to say if you need any help with Azula or anything just ask. I know I left you but you're not alone Kai". Kai froze as she put a hand on his arm and began to shake. "Kai?" Ty lee asked worried and he burst into tears. "It was horrible! I hate you and Mai and I missed you and you have no idea what it was like! I was so scared for Azula and I still am! I know she did wrong but there was good in her too and everyone's just acting like there wasn't! She doesn't deserve to be locked up like this forever!". Ty lee nodded and hugged him, patting his back as he cried. Kai got out all the things he'd been holding in and it felt so nice to finally have someone to share them with. Ty lee assured him she'd help him and Azula and once he'd exhausted himself she told him to get some sleep. She'd watch over Azula. He agreed and curled up into a ball "I'm glad you're back" he told his best friend and Ty lee smiled "me too Kai". After that things got a little better, at least for Kai. Ty lee was true to her word and she and Kai took shifts visiting Azula. That meant the burden didn't fall wholly all on Kai and he got to go home to eat, sleep and wash regularly. He saw his family and they told him none of it was his fault. He cried again when his mother hugged him and spent time with Tomtom for solace. His father soon disappeared but Mai said that wasn't unexpected and Kai agreed. He and Mai were speaking again. They didn't discuss Azula or Zuko but lived civilly with each other. Azula herself went mute the second Ty lee appeared. She refused to look at either of them and would be a limp puppet when they were in the room. Kai figured it was better than a violent banshee so took it as progress. Kai discussed getting Azula a therapist with Ty lee and she agreed it would be a good idea but few people were allowed near the princess these days. She was always handcuffed no matter what and the muzzle was only removed a few hours a day but was put back on with any show of bad behaviour. The treatment was inhumane and the clear cause was Azula's erratic behaviour and poor mental health. So Kai was determined to do something about it and set off to meet the one man who could arrange it, the Fire Lord. Kai didn't want to ask Mai but he knew it'd be hard to speak to Zuko without her so he swallowed his pride and explained he needed to speak to Zuko about Azula's care. Mai was quiet but agreed to ask Zuko for a time and came to him with one the next evening. So Kai came to the palace and was shown to the Zuko by some Kyoshi Warriors. They knocked on the door and a voice called "come in" which Kai assumed was Zuko and stepped through the door. Both boys were stunned at the other's appearance. Zuko looked a lot finer and richer with the Firelord adornment but Kai also thought he looked tired and paler. Zuko thought Kai looked older and was surprised at what a few months had done to him. Mai had told him how Kai was caring for Azula dedicatedly but he never supposed it would have this big a toll on him. He immediately felt a little bad for leaving all of this up to Kai and gestured to a seat in front of him "please sit, Mai told me you want to discuss a treatment for Azula?". Kai nodded and began to explain the current conditions Azula was being kept in and how in order for her to recover things had to change. "According to Ty lee all the Kyoshi Warriors attend therapy before joining and she thinks it will be a really worthwhile experience for Azula. At the moment, she's just alive in a cell but that's no way to live. I believe this can make Azula happy again so please, can I find her a therapist?". Zuko was quiet for a while before he finally met Kai's eyes. "Look I know we don't always see eye to eye and Azula's not my favourite person but I trust she's yours and that you'll do anything to help her get better. So I'll agree to it". Kai nodded "thank you Zuko...Firelord Zuko". Zuko nodded "you'll probably need someone very experienced and considering my father hated therapy that rules the Fire Nation out. I know the Kyoshi Warriors clearly have a system but would you permit me to speak to the Avatar?”. "Why?" Kai asked and ZUko elaborated "Air nomads are known for being the most at peace of any of the four nations, I feel he might have some suggestions of who can help Azula". Kai nodded "yes that makes sense...but are you sure he'll help me and Azula?". Zuko snorted "Aang? He'll help anyone, I think he'd even forgive my father if he asked him to. I'm seeing him next week and will mention it to him". Kai nodded and bowed "thank you" and went to leave when Zuko called "and Kai? Thanks for looking after my sister for me". Kai felt a mix of emotions but in the end he just nodded. "It's like you said, I'll always take care of her" and he left.

The Avatar did come through with a Guru named Pathik. Apparently he was good at taming wild beats so Kai thought the might have a shot with Azula. "Now I need to warn you, she can turn violent very quickly. If that happens you must get yourself out of the room right away. She's also very manipulative and lies a lot..." Kai explained on the morning of the first session however the Guru chuckled. "Yes yes I am aware of human beings, now leave us alone". "But don't you want me to introduce you to her?" Kai asked stopping outside the door. Pathik shook his head "in my experience, the patient needs to be alone for them to trust a therapist. You will not come to any of our sessions unless I ask". Kai nodded "okay" and stepped back so the Guru could enter. He waited a few seconds to make sure there were no immediate crashing sounds and told the guards to keep an eye out. They nodded and so Kai went down the hall and waited. An hour later Guru Pathik appeared. "So how did it go?" Kai asked and Pathik nodded "not bad for a first session". "You mean she actually spoke to you?" Kai asked and Pathik nodded. "What did she say?" he cried before realising "you can't tell me that right?". Pathik shook his head "nothing she says will leave my lips unless I think she or someone else is in danger". "Okay...and she didn't scare you off?". Pathik laughed "I've learned nothing scares me anyone" and he showed himself out of the prison.

Azula's session with Guru Pathik continued but Kai was disheartened at the speed of the progress. "You can't expect her just to be all happy within a month" Ty lee told him "it's going to take time and we've just got to be here for her when it does". Kai sighed looking to where Azula was sitting looking out of a window. "She has made some improvements and I guess I should be happy about that" and Ty lee nodded. Azula hadn't attacked anyone in weeks and was talking again. It was only small words in response to direct questions but it was something. Kai just wanted her to get better asap so he could stop feeling the ever-lingering guilt for siding with Zuko but you can't get everything you wish for. It finally felt like it was working 3 months later. Kai entered Azula's room as he always did every morning and began opening the windows and watering the flowers as usual. Azula was sat in a chair eating her breakfast and responded with a nod to Kai's greeting. She was no longer restrained anymore, sure her window didn't open more than 2 inches and the whole building was heavily guarded but in her room, she could now move about freely. That definitely helped her mood and gave her more dignity. "It's a nice day" Kai said and Azula nodded "it is". "So do you have anything you'd like for us to do?" he asked "we could read or play pai sho or draw...". Usually Azula would just do something solitary but today she said "pai sho sounds good". Kai was so startled he almost dropped the vase he was holding and he smiled "really?". Azula nodded "yes, I've missed beating you at the game". Kai burst into laughter and let out a sigh of relief to hear Azula make a joke. He rushed to get the board and returned to find her getting the table ready. They sat across from one another and played 3 whole games, interacting with one another the whole time. When Ty lee showed up in the afternoon she found them talking softly and paused. Azula tensed and Kai worried she'd close up again now Ty lee was here but she didn't. "This looks nice" Ty lee commented "did you have a crafts day?". Kai went to speak when Azula beat him to it "we had a pai sho day and I beat Kai 2-1". Ty lee smiled and if she found Azula initiating conversations surprising she didn't show it. "Well that's hardly shocking he sucks at board games" Ty lee said and Azula smiled "yeah he does". Kai hadn't seen Azula smile in god knows how long and it hit him like a tonne of bricks. "I'll go get us some water" he said and rushed from the room. He cried in the corridor quietly because he finally felt like the girl he cared for more than anything in the world was getting better. Azula's behaviour continued in this way every day. There were some days when she slipped and anger would come out or she'd go quiet again but that was part of the process. Guru Pathik said she was doing well when Kai asked him explaining the differences he’s seen in her. Pathik nodded "she is now functioning in her everyday life but we have yet to confront the trauma". Kai paused "do we have to? Isn't it best to just leave that...if not forever then until she's a little strong?". Pathik shook his head "enough time has passed for us to start unearthing it and the sooner we start the sooner we can begin healing". Kai sighed but agreed to let him handle it as the expert. There were a few hurdles again with unearthing the trauma. A few sessions were cancelled early because Pathik said Azula had gone as far as she could and she was a lot quieter after those sessions but she made slow incremental steps and got there in the end. One day she passed Kai and piece of paper and he paused "what is this?". "A letter to my mother and father". Kai froze wondering if she wanted him to sneak it into her father's prison but that wasn't the case. "I want you to burn it" Azula clarified and Kai paused, relieved but confused "burn it?". She nodded "Pathik had me write a letter I would never send to them and I did but now I need to burn it and I can't firebend in here so can you take it home and burn it for me? Tonight if you can?". Kai nodded "of course! I'll do it as soon as I get in" and he put it securely in his inside shirt pocket. "Thank you" Azula said and she went back to her book. Kai was momentarily stunned again because he couldn't recall when she last said thank you to him. Of course as things with Azula began stabilising things with Kai's home life took a turn for the worst. His father had vanished with all their money and no explanation. He later turned up in a distant fire nation city known for being conservative and rumoured for being loyal to Ozai. Kai and Mai managed to support their family with the help of Zuko and Ty lee but it was scary, made worse when their father tried to take more from them. Kai came to visit Azula bang on his usual time but something about his demeanour was clearly different. "What's wrong?" Azula asked almost immediately and Kai paused "what? How do you know something's wrong?". "Your walk is different, your hello sounded off and you're looking down a lot more than you usually do". Kai was surprised Azula would notice any of these things. Of course before her breakdown she always noticed small details but that was more so she could use them against you. This felt different and she was patiently waiting for Kai to explain. With a sigh, he launched into it "it's my father, he's trying to take Tomtom off my mom". Azula frowned "why? He forfeited any rights to you guys when he walked out on you". "Yes but he's powerful and knows people, my mother's scared and looking to me and Mai for help but I'm not sure what I can do! Even Zuko says he can't get involved!". Kai then realised that was the first time he'd said that name in front of Azula and he half expected her to crumble but she didn't even blink. "There are many things your mother can do but the first is to hire a lawyer, talk to Zuko and see which ones are available then tell me their names. I will be able to tell you which ones will be loyal to your father". Kai was surprised at Azula's knowledge but he'd learned long ago she was the smartest person in the Fire Nation. So Kai did exactly as Azula said and before he knew it, he was coming to Azula for help with the case against his father. Everything she said was right, so much so the lawyer asked if he was a law student. "No I just...have a really smart friend" he admitted and the lawyer nodded impressed. Thanks to Azula's advice they managed to veto the custody talks before they even properly started. The judge told Kai's father he could not take Tomtom away from their mother and until tomtom was 10 he could only see him on weekends in their home. It was a huge win and Kai rushed to tell Azula but he wasn't the only one. Kai had just finished his speech, thanking Azula for all her help when she paused looking behind him. He turned to see his sister had followed him there. "Mai" Kai said and she looked at them both, her eyes avoiding Azula's but she took a few breaths and looked up. "I just wanted to thank you" she told Azula "if it wasn't for your advice we never would've hired representation so quickly or might've gone to the wrong person and could've lost Tomtom so thank you". Both girls stared at one another, probably assessing all the pain between them before Azula nodded her head. "You're welcome, I didn't want your father to take Tomtom from your mother, a loving mother is something no child should be without". Kai worried Mai might see that as a dig at Ursa or Zuko and might argue back but she didn't. She nodded "I agree" and with a small bow she left. Kai and Ty lee were thrilled as now Mai and Azula were if not friendly then at least neutral to one another which was more than good enough. Word must've gotten back to Zuko because a few weeks later he came to visit Azula for the first time in a year. Mai told Kai in advance and he asked Azula if it was okay and she agreed. "Well hello Zuzu" she called spotting him at the door and Zuko immediately paused but there was no malice in her words. Then he looked at her and was surprised. The last he saw her she was in chains spitting fire but the girl before him was nothing like that. "Hello..." he said a little unsure "I'm sorry I didn't visit you sooner I...". "Was busy running a country?" Azula asked and again Zuko froze to see if she'd explode but she smiled "I understand". She gestured for Zuko to come and take a seat and he did sitting beside Kai. "So how are you?" he asked "I know that might sound stupid...". Azula paused before replying "I'm healthy, healthier than I think I've been in a long time". Zuko smiled "that's good, really good". Azula nodded and then Kai interjected to try and help some of the awkward energy go. Zuko didn't stay too long but the meeting was still a huge success. For once Kai could see Zuko caring for his sister and viewing her as a survivor as well as a bully. Azula was also kinder than Kai had ever seen her behave towards Zuko and he was excited to see them tentatively establishing a relationship. Kai was in a good mood when Zuko left, wondering where this could lead and feeling hopeful for the future. Azula noticed and laughed "what are you humming about? I'm the princess, aren't I meant to be the one who sings and birds appear?". Kai smiled "I've never heard you sing but I doubt birds would appear!". Azula threw a cushion at him playfully and Kai fixed on her face. "I'm just happy" he shrugged "Tomtom is safe, Mai is happy, Ty lee is doing great...and you, well I don't know how you feel but you look like you might be happy-ish. I know it's hard being in here but I hope you are in at least some way happy". Kai looked down unsure what Azula's response would be but looked back up when she called his name. "Kai". "Yeah?" he asked "I am happy" she told him "happier than I've probably been in a while" and she kissed him. 

Kai was taller than her but Azula solved this by pressing down on his shoulders and Kai got the message to crouch. They'd kissed before but it had been awkward and Kai had always been unsure but this? This felt right. 

"I'm happy" Azula repeated when she pulled away and Kai smiled "then I am too".

                                                         The End

[hankuarej]

Mammon x Fem reader

Na imprezie robiło się ostro. / Jest to bekowy smut, na zlecenie innej osoby. Y/N - TWOJE IMIĘ K/W - KOLOR WŁOSÓW K/O - KOLOR OCZU

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Była to już kolejna godzina imprezy wyprawianej w akademiku uniwersyteckim. Y/N jak i reszta byli już po kilku kieliszkach wódki i paru piwach, kto wie, może niektórzy nawet po czymś więcej. K/W nie przyszła na imprezę sama, towarzyszył jej bliski znajomy, Mammon.

Poznali się podczas pracy w pobliskim McDonaldzie. Pracowali tam od kilku miesięcy, by zarobić trochę kasy jako studenci. Oboje nie mieli za dużo na koncie, jednak nadal ściekało z nich trochę dripu. Dowiedzieli się później, że studiują nawet na tym samym wydziale. Y/N nadal pamięta moment, w którym po raz pierwszy na siebie spojrzeli - była w trakcie podnoszenia martwej myszy z podłogi, gdy białowłosy złapał ją wtedy za rękę i zaoferował pomoc w wyrzucaniu śmierdzącego trupa. K/O pomyślała wtedy, że był to moment miłości od pierwszego wejrzenia, ale tak szybko jak o tym pomyślała, tak szybko wyrzuciła to z głowy. Wspólne zamiatanie zarzyganych podłóg i lepienie burgerków umożliwiło im zbliżenie się do siebie. Od tamtej chwili, Y/N myślała o Mammonie jako dobrym kompanie hamburgerowym i naukowym. Kto wie, może kiedyś będzie z tego coś więcej?

Y/N od kilkudziesięciu minut siedziała okrakiem na kanapie, mając po różnorodnych substancjach nieco zakręcone w głowie. Sama nie pamiętała już co piła czy brała - LSD? A może tylko wódka tak na nią wpłynęła? Po jakimś czasie i tak przestało ją to obchodzić, jedyne na co w tym momencie miała ochotę to sen albo niezły kutasek. Tańczenie z Mammonem i rozmowy z nim również je zmęczyły. Jedyne co jeszcze pamięta z tej imprezy to konkurs na to, kto wypije więcej wódki. Hałas wywoływany przez ludzi wokół doprowadzał ją do jeszcze większego omamienia. Gdy zamykała już oczy a jej głowa zsuwała się o oparcie kanapy, usłyszała głośne pociąganie nosem. Rozszerzyła oczy i zauważyła tam... Mammona? Czego on teraz od niej chciał, przecież tak ballerinował na parkiecie z jego bratem Belzebubem i innymi ludźmi z uniwersytetu.

-Hłej Y/N, masz na coś ochotke? - zapytał chłopskim głosem gdy dłubał palcem w pępku.

-Yyy... co masz na myśli? I złota tam nie znajdziesz, tyle ci powiem.

-Nie wkurwiaj chłopka - powiedział i skierował się do kuchni, by nalać sobie niezbyt mały kieliszek jakiegoś trunku, do którego później nakichał i wpuścił gile. Uważała, że było to trochę urocze. Dla niej wszystko co robił i mówił Mammon było w jakimś stopniu słodkie i podniecające. Zauraczało ją nawet jego wyginanie na parkiecie jak ballerina.

Gdy Y/N miała odpływać już w najlepsze poczuła dziwne uczucie w żołądku.

-O kurwa - wypowiedziała te słowa i ruszyła do toalety jak pędziwiatr.

Biegnąc skulona nie widziała kto obok niej stoi lub przechodzi, wpadała na każdego po kolei. Jedyne czego nie chciała w tamtym momencie to puścić pawia na podłogę. W sumie było to nieuniknione, prędzej czy później i tak zachciałoby się jej rzygać.

Gdy weszła już do łazienki poczuła odór wymiocin, fajek i perfum. Wydawało jej się, że same te zapachy mogłyby ją wprowadzić w stan nietrzeźwości. Zachowując jednak jeszcze trochę świadomości w głowie, skierowała się do najdalej położonej od drzwi wejściowych skibidi. Był to już początek wolności - uklękła przed sedesem i nachyliła głowę do odpływu. Ni z tego, ni z owego poczuła, jak ktoś zbiera jej włosy, by miała wolny dostęp do wymiotowania. Odwróciła się i znowu zobaczyła tego debila Mammona. Dlaczego on zawsze musi pojawiać się w najmniej potrzebnych chwilach?!

-No locha, muszę ci powiedzieć, że nieźle się załatwiłaś, hehe...-oznajmił głupkowatym, pijanym głosem.

-A weź spierd... - chciała odpowiedzieć, jednak przeszkodziły jej wymioty.

Leciało jak z wiadra. Piękne świecące zielone rzygi zachlapały cały wucet. Myślała, że to koniec, jednak przytłaczający smród wymiocin sprawiały, że chciało się więcej. Gdy już skończyła swoje dzieło nie zwracała nawet uwagi na głupkowate podśmiechiwanie Mammona. Naprawdę teraz chciała już tylko zasnąć.

-Mamą... - powiedziała zmęczonym głosem.

-Łot? Jeszcze ci się chce?

-Nie mogę wstać Mamą, pomóż mi Mamą...

Na te słowa Mammon wziął sprawy w swoje i ręce. Złapał Y/N pod pachami i umożliwił jej podniesienie się z obrzyganych kafelków. Nie mogła stać o swoich siłach, Mammon podtrzymywał ją swoimi ramionami. Y/N nie myślała już trzeźwo.

-Mamą... - wymamrotała i głęboko pożarła jego usta.

Mammon nie wiedział co robić. Też był nietrzeźwy, dodatkowo trzymał Y/N w swoich ramionach i nie mógł jej puścić, bo by se łeb potukła.

-I guess zrobię to co powinieniem zrobić, bądź gotowa na ostrego chłopka Y/N... - powiedział Mammon i uśmiechnął się szarmancko.

-Nie, to ja dominuje.

-Ok.

Y/N przyparła Mammona do ściany kabiny i obcałowywała go namiętnie. Zaczęła go rozbierać, zaczęła od jego kurtki, która nie była prana przez kilkaset lat, schodziła coraz niżej, aż zeszła do majtek, których również go pozbawiła. K/W też się rozebrała, po czym kontynuowała całusy.

-Siadaj - powiedziała.

-Ok. Czuję się teraz taki Ohio... oh...

Y/N usiadła okrakiem na Mammonie i zaczęła wykręcać jego suty, przez co wykręcał się z bólu jak szalony. Zaczęło ją to nudzić, dlatego zaczęła smyrać jego uszy. Na koniec teasingu wsadziła swój palec w jego pępek i zaczęła w nim dłubać.

-Nadal nic nie znalazłam.

Po grze wstępnej Y/N zaczęła robić to, co uważała za słuszne. Ujeżdzała Mammona jak rodeo.

-Ą - powiedział Mammon.

-Ę - odpowiedziała jękiem Y/N.

Gdy się tak pieprzyli, Y/N w międzyczasie lizała go po uszach i szeptała niegrzeczne słowa do uszka Mammona. Czuli już koniec. Tak, to już niedługo, zaraz eksplodują.

-Co tu się dzieje? - powiedział tajemniczy, niski głos.

Mammon i Y/N spojrzeli się na siebie szeroko otwartymi oczami. Było to trochę, jak to mówił Mammon, kawaii.

-BE-BE-BE-BELZEBUB! - krzyknęli naraz.

-Aha a czemu wy się ruchacie tu. Nie wolno tu, ą.

-A co ty tam możesz wiedzieć. Nie wkurwiaj chłopka - powiedział Mammon, podczas gdy Y/N się na nim zaklinowała.

-Nie wiem co ja wiem, ę. Idę sobie. Macie przestać albo pójdę do Lucyfera.

-Ok to se idź.

Wow, ale ten Mammon to był jednak odważny i męski.

-To może ten ostatni raz? - powiedziała Y/N i złączyła ich usta w namiętnym pocałunku, po czym zrzygała mu się do ust.

[linkemon]

Dazai Osamu x Reader

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ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ ᴏsᴀᴍᴜ ɪ [ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ] — ɴɪᴇᴛᴜᴢɪɴᴋᴏᴡᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴀ. ᴏɴ ᴢɴᴀɴʏ ᴢᴇ sᴡᴏɪᴄʜ sᴀᴍᴏʙᴏ́ᴊᴄᴢʏᴄʜ ᴢᴀᴘᴇ̨ᴅᴏ́ᴡ, ᴏɴᴀ ᴢ ᴅᴢɪᴡɴɪᴇ ᴘᴏᴋʀᴇ̨ᴄᴏɴᴇᴊ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟɴᴏśᴄɪ, ᴜɴɪᴇᴍᴏᴢ̇ʟɪᴡɪᴀᴊᴀ̨ᴄᴇᴊ ᴅʀᴏɢᴇ̨ ᴅᴏ ᴀᴡᴀɴsᴜ ᴡ ᴘᴏʀᴛᴏᴡᴇᴊ ᴍᴀғɪɪ. ᴄᴏ ɴɪᴇᴄᴏ ᴏ ᴘʀᴢʏᴊᴀᴢ́ɴɪ, ᴛʀᴏᴄʜᴇ̨ ᴏ ᴍɪᴌᴏśᴄɪ ɪ sᴘᴏʀᴏ ᴏ sᴛʀᴀᴄɪᴇ. sᴌᴏᴡᴇᴍ ʜɪsᴛᴏʀɪᴀ ᴏʙɪᴇᴛɴɪᴄʏ, ᴋᴛᴏ́ʀᴀ ᴅᴏᴘʀᴏᴡᴀᴅᴢɪᴌᴀ ɴᴀᴊsɪʟɴɪᴇᴊsᴢᴇɢᴏ ᴄᴢᴌᴏɴᴋᴀ ᴢʙʀᴏᴊɴᴇᴊ ᴀɢᴇɴᴄᴊɪ ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴋᴛʏᴡɪsᴛʏᴄᴢɴᴇᴊ ᴅᴏ sᴘᴏᴛᴋᴀɴɪᴀ ᴢ ɴᴀᴋᴀᴊɪᴍᴀ̨ ᴀᴛsᴜsʜɪᴍ.

ᴅᴏᴅᴀᴛᴋᴏᴡᴇ ɪɴғᴏʀᴍᴀᴄᴊᴇ:

sʜᴏᴛ sᴛᴀʀᴀ sɪᴇ̨ ʙʏᴄ́ ᴋᴀɴᴏɴɪᴄᴢɴʏ, ᴀʟᴇ ᴘʀᴀᴡɪᴇ ɴᴀ ᴘᴇᴡɴᴏ ᴘᴏᴊᴀᴡɪᴀ̨ sɪᴇ̨ ɴɪᴇśᴄɪsᴌᴏśᴄɪ, ʙᴏ ɴɪᴇ sᴋᴏɴ́ᴄᴢʏᴌᴀᴍ ᴊᴇsᴢᴄᴢᴇ ᴏɢʟᴀ̨ᴅᴀᴄ́ ᴅʀᴜɢɪᴇɢᴏ sᴇᴢᴏɴᴜ.

ᴡʏᴍʏśʟᴏɴᴇ ɴᴀ ᴘᴏᴛʀᴢᴇʙʏ sʜᴏᴛᴀ ɪᴍɪᴏɴᴀ, ɴᴀᴢᴡɪsᴋᴀ ɪ ᴜᴍɪᴇᴊᴇ̨ᴛɴᴏśᴄɪ sᴀ̨ ɴᴀᴡɪᴀ̨ᴢᴀɴɪᴇᴍ ᴅᴏ ᴘʀᴀᴡᴅᴢɪᴡʏᴄʜ ᴘᴏᴇᴛᴏ́ᴡ ʟᴜʙ ɪᴄʜ ᴅᴢɪᴇᴌ, ᴢɢᴏᴅɴɪᴇ ᴢ ᴛʀᴀᴅʏᴄᴊᴀ̨ ᴡ ʙsᴅ.

ᴛᴇɴ ᴋᴀᴡᴀᴌᴇᴋ ᴢᴀᴡɪᴇʀᴀ ᴡɪᴇʟᴇ ᴍᴏᴛʏᴡᴏ́ᴡ, ᴋᴛᴏ́ʀᴇ ᴍᴏɢᴀ̨ ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴏᴡᴀᴄ́ ᴄᴢʏᴛᴇʟɴɪᴋᴏ́ᴡ. ɴɪᴇ ʙᴇ̨ᴅᴇ̨ ɪᴄʜ ᴡʏᴍɪᴇɴɪᴀᴄ́, ʙᴏ ᴜᴡᴀᴢ̇ᴀᴍ ᴢ̇ᴇ sᴘᴏɪʟᴇʀʏ ᴘsᴜᴊᴀ̨ ᴢᴀʙᴀᴡᴇ̨, ᴀʟᴇ ᴊᴇśʟɪ ᴊᴇsᴛᴇś ᴏsᴏʙᴀ̨ ᴡʀᴀᴢ̇ʟɪᴡᴀ̨, ᴛᴏ ɴᴀᴘʀᴀᴡᴅᴇ̨ ɴɪᴇ ᴘᴏʟᴇᴄᴀᴍ! ᴊᴇśʟɪ ᴋɪᴇᴅʏᴋᴏʟᴡɪᴇᴋ ᴘᴏᴄᴢᴜᴊᴇᴄɪᴇ sɪᴇ̨ ᴢ́ʟᴇ ᴘsʏᴄʜɪᴄᴢɴɪᴇ, ᴘᴀᴍɪᴇ̨ᴛᴀᴊᴄɪᴇ ᴢ̇ᴇ ɪsᴛɴɪᴇᴊᴇ ᴛᴇʟᴇғᴏɴ ᴢᴀᴜғᴀɴɪᴀ ᴅʟᴀ ᴅᴢɪᴇᴄɪ ᴍᴌᴏᴅᴢɪᴇᴢ̇ʏ: 116 111

[Reader] ustawiła snajperkę, czekając na jakikolwiek ruch w oddalonym o kilkaset metrów oknie. Leżenie na szarym, betonowym dachu wieżowca nie było zbyt przyjemne, ale musiała jakoś przetrwać. Za kilka godzin położy się w wygodnym łóżku w kwaterze Portowej Mafii, z dala od zimnego wiatru kąsającego ją nawet przez gruby, czarny płaszcz.  

— Dazai-san, co ty robisz?  

— O-sa-muuu — odparł jej towarzysz śpiewnie. — Możesz mi mówić po imieniu, wiesz?  

Dziwnie było tak formalnie odzywać się do chłopaka w jej wieku. Jednak szef nakazał jej traktować tak wszystkich w organizacji. Przynajmniej dopóki nie zajdzie wyżej w hierarchii, ale skoro jej tymczasowy partner nie miał nic przeciwko, to znacznie ułatwiało sprawę.  

— W takim razie, O-sa-muuu — przedrzeźniła go — co do cholery robisz?  

— Porównuję samochody. Myślę, pod który najlepiej byłoby wpaść, żeby się zabić — oznajmił ze spokojem.  

Już wcześniej dotarły do niej słuchy o jego dziwnym zamiłowaniu. Musiała przyznać, że dopiero usłyszenie o tym z jego ust uświadomiło jej, że to nie były tylko plotki.  

Beztrosko wgapiał się w widok kilkanaście pięter pod nimi, na tyle, na ile pozwalała mu przepaska na jednym oku. Brązowe włosy zasłaniały część jego twarzy, ale podbródek złożony na ramionach okazywał znudzenie. Wiedziała, że już został oficjalnie przyjęty, ale mógł przynajmniej uważać na to, co robi. W końcu sam też niedawno był na jej miejscu. Zresztą w Portowej Mafii żadne stanowisko nie było do końca pewne dla takich nowicjuszy.  

— Możesz to robić po godzinach. — Dziewczyna pociągnęła go za nogę, przez co jego twarz wylądowała na betonie. — Mamy się nie wychylać. Skup się.  

Oczekiwała, że odwróci się z kwaśną miną, po tym, jak prawie rozbił sobie nos. On jednak uniósł kącik ust i ostatecznie dołączył do niej w powolnym oczekiwaniu. Z bliska zauważyła jego lekko obity, czerwony podbródek. Jutro pewnie powstanie tam siniec. Nie była to jednak jej wina. W końcu miał gdzieś wytyczne szefa. Zasłużył sobie.  

— Nie mogę się skupić — zajęczał Dazai po kilku minutach ciszy.  

Nie odpowiedziała. Liczyła na to, że brak reakcji odwiedzie go od mówienia czegokolwiek.  

— Mamy jeszcze dziesięć minut? — spytał Osamu.  

— Tak. — Lakoniczna odpowiedź nie powstrzymała go od chęci konwersacji.  

— Użyjesz swojej umiejętności? — kontynuował.  

— Tak.  

— Pójdziesz ze mną na randkę?  

— Tak… — [Reader] za późno zorientowała się jak brzmiało pytanie. — Jesteś okropny — podsumowała.  

— Przyznaję. Jestem tobą okropnie zainteresowany. — Położył rękę na sercu.  

Pokręciła tylko głową. Nie miała pojęcia, co takiego w niej widział. Nie miała zaniżonego poczucia wartości. Po prostu obiektywnie patrząc, ledwo co wyrwała się z sierocińca, więc nie miała grosza przy duszy. W hierarchii też stał wyżej od niej. Nic nie zyskiwał, zadając się z nią poza pracą. Prawie nie mieli okazji rozmawiać do tej pory, więc o charakter też nie mogło chodzić. Nawet jej uroda była po prostu przeciętna.  

Dlaczego? Nie potrafiła odpowiedzieć sobie na to pytanie. Musiała jednak przyznać, że schlebiało jej zaproszenie. Pozwoliła sobie więc na kilka minut zadowolenia z tego stanu rzeczy. Zerknęła w bok. Był przystojny. Tego na pewno nie mogła mu odmówić. A z tego, co mówiono w organizacji, choć był dziwny, to przynajmniej swoją pracę wykonywał dobrze.  

Wpatrzyła się w lornetkę. Matsuo Bashō wkroczył do budynku. Chłopak również musiał to zauważyć, bo widziała, jak ustawia minutnik w zegarku. [Reader], zgodnie z obliczeniami, uruchomiła swoją umiejętność. Nic dwa razy aktywowała pierwszy raz tej nocy, gdy włamała się do wrogiej firmy z jednym ze starszych członków. Teraz pozostało nakazać kukiełkowej podróbce człowieka wyrecytować przygotowaną wcześniej kwestię. Całkiem długi monolog o sensacji na mieście. Na tyle wielki i dziki, by zdezorientować szefa. Prawdziwy podwładny — Kawai Sora — został porwany. Wiedziała, że przetrzymuje się go w jednym ze starych magazynów. Nie było czego współczuć. Czytała akta. Miał na koncie sporo kradzieży. Tymczasem jej główny cel zasiadał w jednej z poczytniejszych gazet w Yokohamie i nie tylko, manipulując informacjami za grube pieniądze. Między innymi przeciwko Portowej Mafii, więc należało się go pozbyć jak najszybciej.  

Podniosła się lekko i spojrzała przez wizjer. Głowa pojawiła się wewnątrz wyznaczonego pola. Powoli zwolniła cyngiel.  

— Padnij! — Osamu pociągnął ją na beton.  

Usłyszała strzał. Zaraz po nim kilka kolejnych, tym razem z broni partnera. Przeciwnik padł martwy. Stanęła plecy w plecy z Dazaiem. Wyciągnęła mniejszą broń. Załatwiła jeszcze jednego człowieka, ukrytego za kominem. Zaryzykowała szybkie zerknięcie w stronę Matsuo. Nie potrzebowała lornetki, by wiedzieć, że biegnie w stronę dachu.  

— Cholera! — Jej iluzja została zniwelowana przez Dehumanizację . Mogła tylko pomarzyć o czystym strzale. Cel potrafił zatrzymać kule na krótki czas i właśnie by tego uniknąć, powstał ten misterny plan.  

— Wycofujemy się! — zarządził Dazai. Jego głos nie niósł już śladu poprzedniej wesołości.  

— Nie możemy! Nie mogę! — zaprotestowała.  

— Aż tak ci się spieszy do śmierci?  

Cóż za ironiczna uwaga od kogoś, kto miał ochotę wskoczyć pod samochód.  

— Nie chwaliłam się tym, ale spieprzyłam poprzednią misję. To moja jedyna szansa. Jeśli wrócę z niczym, to mnie zwolnią! — Przeładowała lekką broń, bezradnie próbując wymierzyć we właz do lotniska z helikopterem. Wiedziała, że będzie to bezcelowe.  

Zwolnienie znaczyło dokładnie tyle, co bycie martwą. W Mafii zamiast redukcji zatrudnienia następowała szybka eliminacja pracowników. Tak było bezpiecznie i ekonomicznie.  

— Słońce świeci, ptaszek kwili, może byśmy się zabili? — Śmiech w głosie chłopaka zakrawał na szaleńczy. — Obiecaj, że popełnisz ze mną kiedyś podwójne samobójstwo, a ci pomogę!  

Nie zawahała się. W końcu jej życie i tak byłoby stracone.  

— Umowa stoi! — Przekrzyczała wiatr.  

— To dobrze, bo miałem zamiar pomóc i bez tego! — Z tymi słowami Osamu ruszył na dach sąsiedniego budynku.  

Nie tracąc czasu, ustawiła się w stabilnej pozycji. Udało jej się zestrzelić kilku strażników. Tymczasem Dazai zeskoczył i przeturlał się po lotnisku. Helikopter już startował. Przygryzła wargę. Chłopak brutalnie złapał za koszulę Basho. Unosili się już parę metrów nad ziemią. Dostrzegła blask Dehumanizacji i strzeliła. Plama czerwieni pokryła pierś. Udało się za pierwszym razem. Cel był trupem. Osamu wyskoczył z pojazdu, by chwilę później do niej dołączyć.  

— Teraz już naprawdę odwrót! — krzyknął zdyszany.

***

Ciemne pomieszczenie ukryte było w piwnicach. [Reader] powoli schodziła w dół, wytężając oczy przy słabym świetle. Do jej nozdrzy dobiegł zapach alkoholu i świeżo parzonej kawy. Usłyszała też znajome śmiechy i tym samym była pewna swojego spóźnienia. Barman w czerwonej kamizelce uprzejmie skinął jej głową na powitanie. Odpowiedziała mu tym samym. Zgasiła papierosa w popielniczce, zyskując jego aprobatę. Musiała wypalić przynajmniej jednego po każdej robocie. Niestety właściciel baru Lupin nie pochwalał jej nałogu, więc uprzejmie pozbywała się niedopałków, gdy tu przychodziła. Lubiła tego starca. Nie miała zamiaru go straszyć, choć pewnie jednym ruchem mogłaby sobie załatwić wieczny wyjątek od zakazu.  

Z werwą wskoczyła na stołek barowy. Poły płaszcza zafurkotały czernią.  

— Zawsze wiedziałam, że Dazai to dupek, ale na was się zawiodłam, chłopcy — rzuciła, robiąc zdegustowaną minę.  

— Ciebie też miło widzieć, [Reader] — odparł Ango.  

Od razu zaczął grzebać w teczce. Wiedziała, że był człowiekiem pracy, ale mógł choć raz zaczekać, aż się napiją.  

— Jestem dupkiem, ale za to twoim dupkiem. — Osamu złączył ich usta w krótkim pocałunku. Mruknęła, by dać mu znać, że nadal jest zła za to, że na nią nie zaczekał.  

— Zamówiłem ci to, co zawsze. — Sakunosuke popchnął szklankę kolorowego płynu w jej stronę.  

— I to rozumiem — przytaknęła, pociągając przez słomkę. — Jak tam Osamu? Zachowywał się dzisiaj?  

— Wspomniał o samobójstwie aż trzy razy. — Sakaguchi zawsze miał dobrą pamięć.  

— Wciąż tu jestem. Przestańcie rozmawiać o mnie w trzeciej osobie! — Piwo w kuflu jej ukochanego zawirowało, gdy dramatycznie obrócił się na stołku barowym, omal z niego nie spadając.  

— Miałeś ograniczyć gadanie o samobójstwie. — [Reader] spojrzała na niego oskarżycielsko.  

— Co mogę na to poradzić, najdroższa? Obiecałaś mi podwójną śmierć dawno temu. Wciąż nie tracę nadziei.  

— Akta następnej sprawy. — Przerwał mu Ango i przesunął cienki plik papierów w jej stronę.  

Pobieżnie przebiegła po nich wzrokiem. Znów będzie musiała się babrać w niedokończonej misji z przeszłości. Jeśli nie załatwiło się wszystkich od razu, zawsze zostawał ktoś, by kontynuować działalność. Kawai Sora najwyraźniej nie nauczył się zbyt wiele po tym, jak zdjęła jego szefa. Więziono go dość krótko w magazynach Portowej Mafii. A potem zawarto z nim układ. Miał stanąć na czele firmy i odprowadzać im spory haracz. Kilka lat wystarczyło, by zapomniał o strachu. Pomimo gróźb zaczął działać na własną rękę. Należało się go pozbyć.  

— Zajmiesz się tym osobiście? — spytał Ango.  

— Tak. Nie jestem jak Oda. — Wypowiedź zabrzmiała o wiele bardziej oskarżycielsko niż zamierzała.  

— To moja sprawa, jak działam. — Przyjaciel nie wyglądał na obrażonego. Zdawał sobie sprawę ze swojej odmienności w organizacji. Nie chcieć zabijać w tym środowisku stanowiło sporą przeszkodę. Przede wszystkim do awansu. — Poza tym ty też omijasz niektóre zlecenia szerokim łukiem. — Pociągnął łyk kawy.  

— Mogłaby daleko zajść, gdyby nie to pokręcone sumienie… — zaczął Dazai.  

— Nie. — Słowo odmowy niosło za sobą nutkę groźby.  

Tłumaczyła mu już kiedyś, dlaczego nie podejmuje się każdego zadania. Zabijanie popapranych ludzi, a tych normalnie żyjących swoim życiem, nie było tym samym. Mówił, że jeśli nie ona, to zrobi to ktoś inny. I miał rację. Jednak dopóki nie była to ona, nie czuła się winna. Była pokrętnie dobra. Przynajmniej chciała w to wierzyć. Tego Osamu nie potrafił zrozumieć, choć znali się szmat czasu.  

— Kłopoty w raju? — Informator jak zawsze trafnie wyczuł napięcie między parą.  

Wiedziała, co zaraz zrobi jej ukochany, i choć czuła, że jak zawsze mu wybaczy, czasem miała wrażenie, że ma zbyt dużo wad. To była jedna z nich. Wyciągnie to, co powinno zostać między nimi, na widok dla innych.  

— Zaproponowałem [Reader], żeby ze mną pracowała…  

— Żebym była pod tobą… — poprawiła go dziewczyna.  

Miała zostać podwładną i radośnie oddać swoją niezależność na rzecz jego rozkazów. By spędzali razem więcej czasu. Może i stała nisko w hierarchii, ale nie odczuwała presji, by wspinać się w górę.  

— Ostatnim razem ci się podobało. — Uśmieszek na jego twarzy zagotował w niej krew. Mógł mieć chociaż odrobinę przyzwoitości przy znajomych. Nie każdy musiał wiedzieć, co robią po godzinach, nawet jeśli plotki o ich romansie powoli zaczynały krążyć po kątach w organizacji.  

W mgnieniu oka wyciągnęła poręczny pistolet zza paska i skierowała go na krocze. Osamu uśmiechnął się szerzej, podnosząc jej rękę wraz z bronią i całując jej dłoń.  

— Nigdy was nie zrozumiem. — Sakunosuke już dawno pogodził się z nienormalnością ich relacji. Jego przyjaciele byli szaleńcami na różne sposoby. Chyba tylko i wyłącznie dlatego ten związek mógł mieć rację bytu.  

— Napijmy się…  

***

— To jest napad!  

[Reader] westchnęła zażenowana i odwróciła się w kierunku napastnika .  

— Naprawdę, Osamu? — Uniosła brew.  

— To jest romantyczne porwanie — oznajmił zadowolony z siebie, strzelając pistoletem z palców. — Koniec pracy na dzisiaj.  

Ujął delikatnie jej dłoń i poprowadził na zewnątrz. Rozluźnił krawat, wyraźnie odprężony po całym dniu papierkowej roboty.  

Za oknem zaczynało padać. Pierwsze krople wiosennej burzy spadały na dziedziniec siedziby Portowej Mafii. Musiał przyznać, że podobało mu się tutaj. Samotne drzewo wyrastało pomiędzy nisko przystrzyżonymi krzewami i trawami. Nie było kwiatów, ale nie miałby kto o nie dbać. Pewnie za jakiś czas będą musieli się przenieść, jednak na razie mogli przynajmniej udawać, że ich praca jest normalna. Przez głowę przemknęło mu, jakby to wyglądało, gdyby pracowali w zwykłym biurze. Po zamknięciu drzwi praca by się kończyła. Pensja pewnie byłaby niska. Musieliby planować w sklepie, co zjedzą na kolację, ale wracaliby do domu spokojni. Wieczorem snuliby plany o wspólnych wakacjach, próbując na nie zaoszczędzić, błądząc między kredytem na hipotekę a jakimś psiakiem siedzącym pod ich kanapą…  

Rzucił spojrzenie w bok. [Reader]. Kobieta, która nosiła ten sam czarny płaszcz, co on, i spała z bronią pod poduszką. Uśmiechnął się lekko. Nie. Takie życie do nich nie pasowało. Po prostu nie mógł sobie wyobrazić takiego scenariusza. Nieważne, jak bardzo by tego chciał, po prostu spotkali się w takich a nie innych okolicznościach. Z Portowej Mafii się nie wychodziło.  

Kobieta posłusznie wyszła za nim na dziedziniec. Szybko zorientowała się, o co mu chodzi.  

— Taniec w deszczu?  

— Staram się być romantyczny — mruknął.  

Było to lekko dziwne i nienaturalne. A jednak stwierdził, że do nich pasuje. Gest nienormalny jak ich dwójka. Kropelki skapywały po ich mokrych ubraniach, kiedy poruszali się do bliżej nieokreślonego rytmu. Krok w przód, w tył, obrót i nadepnięcie na stopę. To ostatnie wywołało uśmiech na jej twarzy. Był z tego dumny.  

Szary świat na moment zatrzymał się na głowie opartej na jego ramieniu. Na złączonych palcach. Na znajomym zapachu. Pachniała jak dom. Co było głupie, bo Dazai nigdy nie miał domu. Skąd więc miał wiedzieć, że to właśnie ta woń?  

— Jestem z ciebie dumna — szepnęła mu do ucha.  

— To rzadkość. Zapiszę sobie w kalendarzu. — Pocałował ją w czoło rozbawiony.  

— Od kilku dni nie wspomniałeś o samobójstwie. Szczerze mówiąc, nigdy nie myślałam, że ci przejdzie. — Uniosła głowę.  

— Nie przeszło… ale stwierdziłem, że podwójne samobójstwo nigdzie nie ucieknie, więc możemy trochę razem przeżyć…  

— Awww. Brzmisz prawie tak uroczo jak ja, kiedy miałam stłuczkę…  

Jego autem. Samochód był co prawda mafijny, niemniej należał do Osamu. Sam wybrał ten model. Prawdopodobnie rozwaliłby go prędzej czy później. Środki transportu w tym zawodzie nigdy nie miały długiego życia. Jednak kiedy twoja ukochana obija go, parkując na zakupach, sprawy mają się nieco inaczej. Szczególnie przy fałszywych rejestracjach i policyjnym wozie badającym stłuczkę. Egzekutorów nie szkolono na takie wypadki.  

Na jakiś czas zapadło milczenie. Widział kilka osób wychodzących z budynków. Większość znikała pod jednakowo nudnymi parasolami. Rzucali im przeciągłe spojrzenia, po czym odchodzili. Niektórzy chylili ronda kapeluszy. Wiedział, że zarówno jedni, jak i drudzy plotkowali, kiedy go nie widzieli. Cicho, ale jednak. Oda i Sakaguchi wiedzieli od dawna. Przyjaciele w ich związku dopatrywali się raczej metody na to, jak potrafią ze sobą wytrzymywać. Jednak sporo osób szeptało po kątach, że w pracy takiej, jak ta, lepiej się nie przywiązywać. Że są idiotami. Te czasy minęły parę miesięcy temu, ale wciąż miał im za złe. Nadal tu byli. Szczęśliwi. Tańcząc w deszczu.  

— Osamu?  

— Hmmm?  

— Muszę ci coś powiedzieć. — Ton stał się poważny.  

Jego umysł od razu wskoczył na wyższe obroty.  

— Ktoś ci grozi? — To byłoby logiczne. W końcu w ich pracy się to zdarzało.  

— Nie…  

— Jesteś chora? — Wolał nie dodawać, że śmiertelnie, choć to jako pierwsze przyszło mu do głowy.  

— Nie…  

Usilnie próbowała mu przerwać, ale kontynuował zgadywanie.  

— No to zostało tylko jedno. Chcesz się rozstać!  

W głowie już układał plan na to, co powie, by ją zatrzymać. Przecież byli razem już tyle czasu. Mieli tyle wspólnych wspomnień. Co prawda ostatnio mieli trochę mniej czasu dla siebie, ale się postara…  

— Osamu! — przerwała mu, przykładając palec do ust. — Żadna z tych rzeczy. Jestem w ciąży!  

Widziała, jak jego źrenica rozszerzyła się z szoku. Nigdy jeszcze nie zdarzyło się, by zaniemówił. Zawsze miał coś do powiedzenia. Nawet jeśli był to zwykle głupiutki komentarz wymyślony na poczekaniu. Tymczasem spotkała się z ciszą. Nabrał powietrza, jakby miał zamiar coś powiedzieć, jednak się rozmyślił.  

— Jesteś w ciąży? To wspaniale — dodał, mrugając szybko. Zaraz po tym runął na trawę jak długi.  

W pierwszym momencie naprawdę przestraszyła się, że coś mu się stało. Kiedy jednak wyczuła oddech i puls, stało się jasne, że wszystko z nim w porządku.  

— Zawsze musisz być dramatyczny — westchnęła. — To ja jestem w ciąży i to ja mam prawo mdleć! — wydarła się na cały budynek. — Na pewno nie będę cię niosła! — To mówiąc, zrobiła duży krok nad bezwładnym ciałem i podreptała w kierunku pierwszego lepszego pracownika, który jeszcze nie wyszedł.  

Tak się składało, że znała Misuzu Kaneko. Kobieta nie była wysoko w rankingu, ale nadrabiała umiejętnością. Doskonale skakała. Potrafiła się wzbijać na wiele metrów w powietrze i zawsze lądowała cała i zdrowa. Często używała lin, by zabierać ze sobą pasażerów z mafii czy nieszczęśników, których z jakichś powodów należało porwać. Po oderwaniu od ziemi łapała ich w ramiona i dostarczała w wyznaczone miejsca.  

— Jeden z egzekutorów zemdlał. Zanieś go proszę do pokoju pięćdziesiąt trzy na drugim piętrze. Będę tam czekać.  

Wyglądało na to, że jednak nie wyjdzie dziś szybko z biura…  

***

Teraz kopiesz? Nie mogłeś, jak byłam w mieszkaniu? — stwierdziła [Reader] z lekkim wyrzutem. Delikatnie pogłaskała wciąż jeszcze płaski brzuch. To dziecko z pewnością odziedziczy po nich umiejętności fizyczne. Rzadko dawało o sobie znać, ale kiedy już to robiło, to z pełną mocą. 

Owinęła się szczelniej płaszczem. Nie zamierzała chorować. Teraz nie była odpowiedzialna już tylko za siebie. Co nie znaczy, że porzuciła pracę. Niechętnie przeniosła się do oddziału Osamu. Miała tam trochę większą swobodę. Z czasem też planowała brać mniej misji. Choć na razie niewiele było po niej widać, prędzej czy później będzie musiała trochę odpuścić.  

Wzięła głęboki wdech. Jeden z podwładnych oznajmił jej, że sprzęt został rozstawiony, a cel był w zasięgu. Nie potrzebowała tych ceregieli, ale Dazai poprosił ją, by robiła to chociaż od czasu do czasu. To byli nowi, jeszcze nie do końca wyszkoleni rekruci. Musieli mieć cokolwiek do roboty, dopóki nie dostaną poważniejszych zleceń.  

Nachyliła się i skupiła na znajomym wizjerze. Miała nie brać tego zlecenia. Nawet nie podlegało pod jej wydział. Jednak po tym, jak niedawno kilka głów poleciało za zdradę, powstały braki. A ludzie tacy jak ona musieli je wypełnić. Szefowi wyraźnie się spieszyło, by załatwić sprawę. Syn Kawaiego Sory, którego kiedyś zdjęła, został pozostawiony przez jakiś czas w spokoju. Jednak kilka miesięcy później wraz z matką wstąpił do mafii. I nie była to Mafia Portowa, tylko ta sama, do której udała się część współpracowników [Reader] gryzących teraz piach.  

Przyjrzała się pomieszczeniu. Bardzo ładny salon. Z systemem ochronnych, metalowych rolet. Te jednak zostały wyłączone minutę temu, gdy uruchomiła swoją kukłę sprzątaczki. Nic dwa razy wklepało poprawny kod, a teraz nawet druga warstwa kuloodpornego szkła na szybach zjechała w dół. Właściciel przygotował się nawet na taką drogę ucieczki. Nie przewidział jednak rozległości kontaktów przeciwników.  

Wytężyła wzrok. W polu widzenia przemknęła jakaś kobieta. Była jedyną, która została dostarczona w komplecie informacji na jej biurko kilka dni temu. Podobno była nauczycielką języków obcych. W samym środku celownika natomiast, na dywanie, siedziało dziecko. [Reader] zamrugała kilka razy, chcąc się upewnić.  

— Wszystko dobrze ustawiłeś? — spytała podwładnego, odrywając wzrok od broni.  

— Tak jest, [Reader]-san.  

— Cel miał mieć dwadzieścia jeden lat. A ten chłopak ma z dziesięć. — Spojrzała na niego groźnie.  

— Otrzymałem kopię dokumentów i z nich jasno wynikało, że to wciąż dziecko.  

[Reader] poczuła jak jej serce zaczyna szybciej bić. To nie mogła być prawda. Sama studiowała te kartki parę dni temu. Został przyjęty z powodu swojej umiejętności we wczesnym wieku. Jednak nie aż tak wczesnym.  

— Wracaj do kwatery. Potem się rozmówimy.  

— A-a-ale…  

Świeżak zdawał się dygotać na silnym wietrze, oczekując na jej werdykt. Gdyby naprawdę zawalił, mogło go czekać wszystko. Od niczego aż po bolesną śmierć.  

— Uspokój się. — Sama nie wiedziała, czy mówi do siebie, czy do niego. — Wszystko załatwię.  

Wybrała numer telefonu Osamu, raz po raz sprawdzając wizjer. Ręka lekko jej się zatrzęsła. Nie pamiętała, kiedy ostatni raz coś takiego zdarzyło jej się w pracy. Trzymanie broni wymagało pewnej postawy.  

— Musisz dla mnie znaleźć akta sprawy. Powinny być w aucie — oznajmiła gorączkowo.  

— Tak bez powita…  

— Nie teraz — przerwała mu.  

Musiał zrozumieć, że sytuacja jest poważna, bo zamilknął. Miał ją odebrać po skończonej misji. Lepiej było wrócić innym autem niż nowicjusz dla większej anonimowości. W słuchawce słyszała kilka odgłosów ulicy, w tym trąbienie.  

— Dlaczego potrzebujesz ich teraz? — Do jej uszu dobiegł szelest kartek.  

— Wiek. W jakim wieku jest Kawai? — Zignorowała jego pytanie.  

— Dwadzieścia jeden... — zaczął. — Nie, jednak jedenaście — poprawił się szybko. — Ktoś musiał rozmazać cyfry, kiedy przekazywał nam dane.  

Serce podskoczyło jej do gardła. Nie wiedziała, czy zbiera jej się na wymioty z powodu ciąży, czy całej sytuacji . Może jednego i drugiego? Wiedziała za to, że nigdy w życiu nie zabiła dziecka. Jaka była szansa, że dołączył do mafii z własnej woli? Zapewne namówiła go do tego matka. Pewnie jeszcze sam nie wiedział, co tak naprawdę robi. Z danych wynikało, że na razie jedynie pomaga w porwaniach. Nie zrobił jednak nikomu krzywdy. Portowa Mafia chciała go dorwać ze względu na powiązania z ojcem i zabójczą naturę zdolności. Gdyby był dorosły, czułaby, że rozumie. Że był to jego wybór. To jednak było dziecko. W dalekim obrazie za szkłem widziała siebie samą. Młodą, przerażoną i bez wyboru, dołączającą do organizacji, bo była jedynym miejscem, gdzie ktokolwiek ją chciał.  

— Nie zrobię tego — jej głos z początku był cichy. — Nie mogę…  

— [Reader], o czym ty mówisz…  

— To mogłoby być nasze dziecko. — Podświadomie pogładziła brzuch. — Dokładnie to samo mogą zrobić któregoś dnia nam.  

Myśl o tym, że kiedyś mogliby zginąć, a mafia przejęłaby ich dziecko, napełniła ją przerażeniem. Dopóki żyła, nie chciała, by kiedykolwiek musiało się w tym babrać. A już na pewno nie od małego i nie dlatego, że ojciec i matka tak żyją. Jakiś czas temu wymyśliła nawet szalony plan odejścia z organizacji, ale jeszcze nie rozmawiała o nim z Osamu.  

— Nie wykonam tej misji! — Zdała sobie sprawę, że krzyczy do telefonu.  

— [Reader], uspokój się. To nie jest nasze dziecko. Gdybym wiedział, nie dałbym ci tego przydziału, ale dobrze wiesz, jak jest istotny. — Jego ton był spokojny i rzeczowy. — Mori ci nie wybaczy. Musisz to zrobić.  

Już raz darował jej niesubordynację lata temu. Znała go na tyle dobrze, by wiedzieć, że taki akt łaski się nie powtórzy. To, co teraz robiła, skazywało ją na ucieczkę od organizacji. Na bycie z dala od ukochanego. Na wieczne ukrywanie siebie i swojego dziecka.  

— Jeśli ty tego nie zrobisz, ja to zrobię. — Odgłos zamykanych drzwi, oznajmił jej, że Dazai wysiadł z auta. — Jestem odpowiedzialny za was dwoje…  

Dawniej to by jej wystarczyło. Odwrócić głowę, gdy ktoś inny wykonuje pracę, która dla niej była zbyt niewygodna. By w swoim mniemaniu pozostać moralnie czystą . Teraz jednak, gdy już się zaangażowała, kiedy skrzyżowała swój wzrok z tym maluchem, poczuła, że pociągając za cyngiel tylko dalej by siebie oszukiwała. Nie chciała i nie mogła go zamordować.  

— Osamu, nie waż się… — nie dokończyła. Odpowiedziała jej jedynie głucha cisza i sygnał zakończonej rozmowy.  

Przez moment wpatrywała się tępo w czerwoną słuchawkę. Zaraz potem zaczęła co tchu biec po schodach w dół.  

***

Dazai stał w znajomym, szpitalnym pokoju. Przestał liczyć, ile razy w ciągu ostatnich tygodni tu przychodził. Przez długi czas wszystko rozgrywało się prawie tak samo. Zaczynało się od ciszy. Przenikliwej i przejmującej. [Reader] nie odzywała się do niego. Z początku z powodu szoku. Później z własnej woli. Potem następowała druga faza. Płacz, krzyki i wyrzuty. Raz nawet rzuciła w niego wazonem z kwiatami. Nie trafiła, ale chyba ją to otrzeźwiło, bo na widok pękniętego szkła i rozlanej wody tuż obok jego nóg przestała.  

Czy nie miał tego dosyć? Oczywiście, że tak. Niczego bardziej nie pragnął niż cofnąć czas. Chciał, by wskazówki zegara pomknęły w tył. By znów było jak dawniej. Musiał jednak trwać w obecnej sytuacji.  

Nie żałował tego, co wtedy zrobił. Według niego była to przykra konieczność. Mori nigdy nie odpuściłby jej drugiego potknięcia. Dlatego zrobił, co musiał, za nią. By ją chronić. Nawet jeśli się z tym nie zgadzała.  

— [Reader]…  

— Nie chcę cię widzieć. — Głos został stłumiony przez koc, którym nakryła głowę.  

— Wiem, że nie chcesz, ale nie możesz mnie wiecznie unikać.  

Od kilku dni stawała się spokojniejsza. Lekarze uznali to za dobry znak. Powoli przygotowywali wypis. Nie mogli jej trzymać w szpitalu w nieskończoność. Nawet jeśli zostali przekupieni ogromną sumą pieniędzy. Istniały pewne granice nie do przeskoczenia.  

Zdanie personelu mało go obchodziło. Mówili, że jest zdrowa. To jednak nie była ta sama [Reader]. Zmieniła się i nie był pewny, czy kiedykolwiek będzie taka sama. Dlaczego nie potrafili tego wyleczyć?  

— To wszystko nasza wina, Osamu! Bogowie zesłali na nas karę! — Głowa gwałtownie wynurzyła się spod kawałka materiału.  

Jej oczy były podkrążone. Widział w nich bezsenne noce. Pielęgniarki mówiły, że często dręczą ją koszmary. Kilka razy czuwał przy niej, ale zawsze tak, by nie wiedziała, że tam jest.  

Po raz pierwszy od dawna umyła włosy. To było coś nowego. Być może po prostu już powiedziano jej, że dostaje wypis. Postanowił się cieszyć przynajmniej tym.  

— To nie twoja wina. To czysty przypadek, że… — Widząc jej pobladłą twarz, postanowił nie kończyć zdania. — Jeśli chcesz kogoś winić, wiń mnie.  

Ich dziecko nie żyło. Nie dowiedzą się, jak będzie brzmiał jego śmiech ani płacz. Nie zobaczą, jak dorasta. Czy odziedziczy po nich jakąś umiejętność. Nie będzie im dane zrobić wszystkich rzeczy, które planowali, odkąd dowiedzieli się o ciąży.  

Nigdy nie był religijnym człowiekiem. Jednak odkąd [Reader] zdała sobie sprawę z tego, co się stało, uważała, że to bogowie musieli ich ukarać za morderstwo syna Sory. Pozbawić ich szansy na dziecko. Nieważne, ile razy próbował jej tłumaczyć, że jedno i drugie nie ma związku, nie przyjmowała tego do wiadomości. Może tak było jej łatwiej. Mogła zrzucić na kogoś winę za nieszczęśliwy los. Powtarzała, że gdyby wtedy zdążyła dobiec i powtrzymać Dazaia, nic by się nie stało.  

Wiedział, że nigdy nie zapomni widoku małego zawiniątka, które podano mu po poronieniu. Tak małe i kruche pośród krwi. Wryło się w jego pamięć. Nie zmyły go żadne ilości alkoholu, choć wcześniej tak właśnie radził sobie ze wszystkim, z czym nie potrafił. Może z czasem obraz odejdzie, ale nigdy nie zostawi go całkowicie.  

— Jest tylko jeden sposób, by to naprawić — oznajmiła [Reader], wpatrując się uporczywie w okno.  

Na zewnątrz powoli kursowały rzędy samochodów. Słońce przeświecało przez brudne szyby. Śpiew ptaków w koronach drzew przedzierał się przez zgiełk szpitala. Nie ośmielił się zadać pytania. Trwał w długim milczeniu, w oczekiwaniu na jej kolejne słowa.  

— Podwójne samobójstwo, Osamu. Naprawimy to i już na zawsze będziemy we trójkę. — Po raz pierwszy od dawna złapała go za rękę.  

Usiadł na krawędzi łóżka, w szpitalnej pościeli i ścisnął mocno jej chłodną dłoń. Tęsknił za tym bardziej niż myślał.  

Wiedział, jak wiele osób powiedziałoby, że to chore. Każdy lekarz, psycholog czy psychiatra. Odradzaliby to wszyscy znajomi i przyjaciele. Przechodnie na ulicy i ludzie na forach internetowych. Każdy powiedziałby, że samobójstwo nie jest wyjściem. Że potrzebuje pomocy. Że nie warto. Jednak Dazai Osamu żył z myślą, że odbierze sobie życie, od kiedy tylko pamiętał. Jeśli więc nadszedł czas, by to zrobić, to dlaczego nie? W końcu obiecali zrobić to razem.  

Pokiwał tylko głową. Pozwolił, by czule głaskała jego brązowe, kręcone loki. Choć przez moment mógł udawać, że wszystko jest po staremu.  

***

Zamykanie doczesnych spraw zajęło im więcej czasu niż myśleli. Odwiedzili znajomych ludzi. Nie było ich tak wielu. Sporo z nich jednak znajdowało się daleko. Byli na misjach w różnych zakątkach świata i czekanie na ich powrót znacznie wszystko wydłużyło. Oddali też sporo rzeczy potrzebującym. Głównie pieniądze. A było ich sporo. Większość z nich poszła na domy dziecka. Nawet nie musieli o tym rozmawiać. Zarówno Osamu jak i [Reader] trafili do mafii, bo właśnie takie miejsca nie miały jak ich przyjąć. Na koniec spisali testamenty i przygotowali listy. To ostatnie dłużyło się najbardziej. Tworzyli wiele szkiców, raz po raz mnąc je nocami, by zacząć od nowa.  

Zanim byli gotowi na wszystko, minęło kilka miesięcy. I gdyby tak ktoś popatrzył z boku, nie zauważyłby, że coś się działo. Nawet Sakunosuke i Ango wydawali się nic nie podejrzewać. Omijali temat śmierci, dopóki [Reader] nie powiedziała, by przestali. Będąc w Portowej Mafii, nie dało się rozmawiać o niczym bez tak podstawowej rzeczy. Pili więc we czwórkę w Lupinie, jakby nigdy nic się nie stało. Jedynie barman pewnego dnia złapał kobietę przed wyjściem i oznajmił, że jest jego ulubioną klientką. Potem ze smutnym uśmiechem odszedł za kontuar, by dalej wycierać szklanki. Może widział już tylu złamanych ludzi, że wiedział, jak poznać, gdy ktoś chce zakończyć swoje życie.  

[Reader] nie obchodziło, w jaki sposób to zrobią, o ile nie będzie zbytnio bolało. Dlatego tę kwestię zostawiła Dazaiowi. W końcu interesował się tym tematem już tak długo, że wierzyła w jego wybór.  

Wysoki budynek, gdzie pierwszy raz odbyli wspólną misję, wydał mu się odpowiedni. W szybko zbliżającej się nocy, która zawitała do Yokohamy, jasno migotały światła. Uliczne latarnie, neony i reklamy rozjaśniały okolicę jakby zielonkawą poświatą. Wody niedaleko płynącej rzeki leniwie zmierzały w stronę bardziej zaludnionej części miasta.  

[Reader] miała na sobie perły i białą, satynową sukienkę. Kupił ją kiedyś dla niej na rocznicę. Pamiętał, jak narzekała, że jest zbyt prosta, tylko po to, by potem roześmiać się i przeprosić go, że żartowała. Pokręcił głową. To już minęło. Nałożył na siebie czarny, mafijny płaszcz. Zrobiła to samo.  

— Gotowy? — spytała kobieta, patrząc przed siebie.  

— Zawsze byłem gotowy na samobójstwo — roześmiał się Dazai.  

Czuł się spełniony. Przeżyli razem ładny kawał czasu. I choć mógł być dłuższy, nie żałował.  

Złapał ją za rękę i razem zeskoczyli w ciemną noc. Nie wiedział, w którym momencie podczas lotu obrócił się do góry. Zawsze myślał, że to, co inni mówili o tym, że przed śmiercią czas zwalnia, było kłamstwem. Teraz jednak musiał im przyznać rację. Przed oczami nie przelatywało mu życie, jak często podkreślano. On widział tam jedynie rozświetlone niebo. To, w które patrzył już wiele razy przedtem.  

Z tego stanu wyrwało go szarpnięcie. Tak szybkie, że ledwo je zarejestrował. Wierzgnął na oślep. Zanim się zorientował, znalazł się na jakimś balkonie. Kiedy odwrócił głowę, zdążył jedynie na moment ujrzeć zszokowaną i rozgoryczoną twarz [Reader]. A może tylko mu się wydawało? Ułamek sekundy później znalazła się na dole w kałuży krwi.  

Odwrócił się. Przed nim stała Misuzu Kaneko obleczona w kilka warstw ubrań. Pewnie nie chciała przypadkiem aktywować jego Dehumanizacji podczas skoku. W głowie mu huczało, gdy w lakonicznych słowach wyjaśniała, co właśnie zrobiła:  

— Szef uznał pana za zbyt cennego, Dazai-san…  

***

Pod wodą nie było tak źle. Mętnie. Niezbyt pięknie, ale też nie całkiem brzydko. W sam raz, by umrzeć — stwierdził, czując, jak jego zapasy tlenu powoli się wyczerpują. Utonięcie mniej szokowało od powieszenia. Kunikida powinien być mu wdzięczny. Miał nadzieję, że ludzie ze Zbrojnej Agencji Detektywistycznej znajdą go dość szybko. Nie chciał im dokładać roboty. Mieli wystarczająco dużo pracy.  

Ktoś zaczął go ciągnąć w górę. W głowie już pojawiła mu się myśl, że i tym razem mu się nie uda. Kolejny raz zawali próbę samobójczą.  

Nie spodziewał się sporo młodszego od siebie chłopaka. Ubrania wskazywały na sierociniec. Niezbyt dopasowane i lekko podarte. Jedną z pierwszych rzeczy, jakie usłyszał, oprócz jego spanikowanego głosu, było burczenie brzucha. Musiał być głodny. Westchnął tylko i wskazał w kierunku najbliższej restauracji, nie zapominając po drodze wyjaśnić, dlaczego nie powinien był przerywać aktu umierania w połowie.  

Spojrzał w niebo. Zaczynało zmierzchać. Nabrał głęboko powietrza. To była ta pora. Choć [Reader] już nie było, jej kukła pozostała. Nic dwa razy codziennie o tej samej porze powtarzało:  

— Dlaczego?  

— Nie wiem — odparł. Zawsze odpowiadał to samo. Może któregoś dnia znajdzie odpowiedź.  

— Mówiłeś coś, Dazai-san? — spytał chłopak, odwracając się w jego stronę.  

— Nic takiego, Atsushi-kun.