#u knew exactly what u were doing throwing that nursing mention in there like a piano dropping on my head….. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i8jisoo · 4 years

Note

Heyaa since you're accepting requests can I request for hyunjin with infertile reader? Ty 🥺

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ hyunjin with infertile s/o

hyunjin x reader | imagine

↬ genre; angst at first, fluff ending

↬ warnings; cursing, vomit, blood, mentions of miscarriage, and mentions of cheating

↬ notes; this my first request for skz so woo!! def check out my masterlist in my bio && request me guys!! (atz, skz, got7 as of now but soon more later) anyways i hope u like this!!

hyunjin couldn’t believe it, after preparing a nursery, filled with tiny blankets, filled with stuffies and pacifiers, with a chair in the corner for feeding, he was packing it all up. the crib was still in the box due to the fact you both were way to lazy to do it and there were the three cans of paint in the corner, a specific shade of soft yellow, made to brighten up the walls that were still a dull grey.

the pregnancy was hard, of course it was. you had these pounding headaches, horrible morning sickness that would keep you in the bathroom for hours, and your lower back killed you despite not even being far along. you slept less and were glued to the cold floor of your bathroom most times, but hyunjin would be behind you with a glass of water and a hair tie — sometimes bringing in a pillow or blanket just in case.

his hands would rub gently against your back as he had pulled your hair into a lazy bun or lazy ponytail, urging you to come into his arms so you didn’t have your back hunched over the toilet bowl.

“princess, come here. alright?” he’d whisper, his voice thick with sleep - despite having a night well rested unlike you who wriggled in the sheets trying to find a comfortable spot.

his heart felt heavy, the day he came back home and you were in an immense amount of pain, only to be surprised by blood that thickly coated your hands and thighs. your cries were even worse, hyunjin deciding to hold you close and pray. whoever was listening to him, he hoped they would answer him, so reluctantly he stripped you down and changed your clothes. he held a towel with a shaky hand, his hands slipping around the backs of your thighs and carrying you.

your worst nightmare was spoken to you both by a doctor, her face expressionless and her words cold. “you have suffered a miscarriage, we can follow up with natural expelling, which is will take days and might cause infection, or we could go ahead with the medication to help with the process.”

“i just wanna go home, please?” you asked, getting a nod and hyunjin would have his heart break, knowing that you two weren’t going back home with a baby. he smiled warmly, though it hurt to look at you, he let out a breath and let you slip into the spare clothes he had for you all while preparing to head back into your empty house.

hyunjin couldn’t bare to be in your shared bedroom, it was suffocating, so instead of taking his normal side on the left, he cuddled up to the sofa with a blanket and throw pillow to accommodate him. soft sobs left his lips while tears escaped from his eyes and he could only imagine that this should’ve been him sleeping on the couch, waiting for the baby to cry as they needed a change or feeding, not where the nursery was empty and slowly losing life.

he remembered the night of where you two couldn’t stand each-other anymore, he was so angry— there was obviously something that he held above you.

you two often were in bed together, trying to recreate the most boring, and basic sex you had ever had. it was like a pattern, almost every night you two would attempt the same dance, you both so desperately wanted a baby - everytime hyunjin would see the same negative or one line on the screen of the pregnancy test. hyunjin would have his hands lingered against the naked skin that was your stomach, slowly letting his finger creep to the soft band of your bikini cut underwear. it was repetitive, tiring, and had you both exhausted emotionally when you would get your hopes up. your body turned, hyunjin’s touch leaving your stomach, hearing his sigh from beside you.

“why did you move?” hyunjin questioned, “i know you aren’t sleeping.” you huffed, wishing he’d just leave it alone. “not tonight.” you mumbled, letting yourself move to get comfortable.

“fine.” hyunjin glared which you could feel as if he was drilling holes into the back of your head, feeling him pull his pillow out and move away from you. “what are you doing?” you called out, starting to get up and follow him to the living room which he was heading to.

you cannot believe this.

you watch him turn around as he throws the pillow down and groans, seeing you have followed him which he was trying to avoid.

“i hate you. i hate you, how— how could you? how could you not realize it? this was all your fault! i—i’m never gonna get my dream, right? all because of you.“ there you now stood in front of him, realizing exactly what hyunjin thought of you now. he thought this was your fault, your fault that you lost your baby together— you killed your own child. he looked at you, a glare with so much hate, a glare that he’d never gave you. something that told you that he wouldn’t forgive you.

“stop. this— not my fault. how— to even think that i would be able to predict something like this would happen, nor would i want something like this to happen. how do you think i felt? how do you think i felt when i was in pain— when i knew our baby was dying! do you fucking know?” your voice was loud, broken and wavering but you were not going to let hyunjin tear you down like this. not when he had no reason to. “you don’t think i want a baby as much as you?” your voice small and fighting back tears.

“no, i don’t think you do.” hyunjin says, taking his spot on the couch and watching your figure head back to your shared room. he let out a loud sigh before letting his head hit the pillow, his eyes fluttering shut.

you reluctantly decided to go to the doctors, by yourself. you wanted answers, answers that you haven’t gotten in months. you had seven months to yourself, constant sex, feeling miserable, and no baby.

“it’s premature ovarian failure, it seems like your first pregnancy was always going to fail. it was purely luck, but it seems that children won’t be in your future. there are however other options rather than carrying yourself, such as adoption or surrogacy.”

they sent you home with a paper, along with three brochures that could aid you in your two options, as-well as help aid you in informing you on infertility.

meanwhile, hyunjin decided going out would be best. a few drinks, that would help, yeah. he met a few gorgeous woman, probably fertile as ever. maybe they could mother his children, it crossed his mind - being unfaithful, just to see if they could make his dream. he let her buy him a drink, but decided to dip out with the lame excuse he needed to use the bathroom, immediately pushing through people and exiting the bar.

that was how you two were lead to your family, hyunjin coming home to you asleep on the couch, seeing the adoption brochure, as well as the papers consisting of information about your infertility. he felt the inside of him crumble, instead picking up the brochure of adoption. he saw the children, as well as the newborns - the small feet and hands he always wanted to see.

his hands shook you awake, a smile plastered on his face and the brochure in hand. “wake up!!” he shouted, his voice happy and excited. “this is gonna be ours.” he says, pointing to the picture of a couple - a family with a child. your eyes were drooped with tiredness. you nodded, hyunjin letting you lay your head in his lap, just as he did before even when you weren’t pregnant - but when all he wanted to do was love on you.

you two were able to bring out the crib again, resuming painting the walls, able to put the pacifiers and small clothes inside. it was much easier, the two of you often finding yourselves sitting inside and messing around while you two would some days have child services visit your house, checking on your well-being. it was hard, these unplanned visits surprising you both, finally getting a visit that a mother thought you two were right for her prospective birth.

you had gotten the call that she had gone into labor, which she was expecting you two very soon and couldn’t wait for the finalization of this.

so when you two were able to go down to the nursery, the nurses letting you scoop up your child, in-taking the past hardships you both had went through - this was perfect, it was so worth it. “there’s our baby, yeah? our cute little baby.” though they didn’t look like you two, their skin a shade different and poutier lips - a bald head despite having a father who was a male rapunzel, this was destiny. this was your baby.

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free-pool-trash · 4 years

Text

folklore - isaac lahey {2/?}

part two because i just couldn’t wait lmao! this chapter focuses a lot on the reader but there is some cute isaac moments in there too because i wanted there to be more to the story than just reader and isaac’s relationship <33 this part is kinda just setting stuff up tho so dw!

platonic derek x reader in this part :) and isaac ofc

please let me know what u think :)

word count: 4.4k

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, i think that’s it???? let me know if i misses anything <3

my taglist is still pretty wishy washy for this so i’m gonna tag the people who enjoyed part one, thanks for all the lovely feedback <3

Taglist: @makeusfreefromthisfandom, @cece-lives-here, @chocolate-raspberries, @belsandthings let me know if you’d like to be added or removed <3

PART 1

PART 3

Endless thoughts plagued your mind as you wandered through the crowded halls. It barely registered with you that Derek could be home and not bother to check in, although maybe it was for the best, you were pretty sure that he was still a wanted man- for a crime you were also sure he didn't commit. You knew Derek, despite the fact that you weren't related by blood you saw each other as family, you knew how he treated his family, it was what he treasured above all else and there was absolutely no way in hell that he had burned his whole family tree to ash.

He and his uncle Peter were the only Hale's left as far as you knew, however saying that Peter was "alive" seemed like a bit of a reach. The man who used to tell you stories and sneak you candy whenever he saw you was completely immobilized now, scarred to the point of being almost unrecognizable, he couldn't talk, he could barely move, he was even being fed through a tube.

Peter was a particularly close friend of your father's, he'd always made you refer to him as 'uncle Peter' and the man did the title justice treating you like one of his own. And while you called him Uncle Peter, he- and the rest of the Hale's- always called you something different; "The littlest of the pack" though you never understood why the family had such an obsession with being known as a pack, you were more than delighted to know that they considered you part of it.

When you were old enough you started volunteering at the hospital which held Peter and after six months of hard work, sweeping hallways and helping the overworked nurses they finally bumped you up to keeping patients company. Since you were still in school you were mostly at the hospital at night and on Sunday mornings, the same time as your favourite nurse, Melissa, who always assigned you to Peter when she was manning the same ward as you. To be honest it was rough seeing him in such a state, it was as though everyone you loved seemed to struggle- the thought alone always made you choke up, made you wish you had some kind of power to take it all away, to make everything better. But you didn't, so you simply read to him, told him about what was happening in the news, stories about what was happening at school as Peter was always one for a good scoop of gossip, you even confided in him about the sharp sting you felt in your chest whenever someone you cared about was in pain, himself included. The logical thing would've been to simply stop visiting him but if you did then he'd barely have any human interaction for the rest of his life and ignoring the fact that he couldn't show it, you knew deep down that he could hear you, felt that he appreciated your visits.

Without even realizing where your feet had been carrying you, too lost in thought to notice, you found yourself nearing Isaac's locker, the boy himself hunched by it, his face hidden by the blue metal door. It was easy to forget over the weekend and after hanging out alone how shy Isaac was, he was a completely different person around you, he was loud, granted he still wasn't as loud as you but he certainly knew how to find his voice, he stood straighter as opposed to how the tall boy stood in the school hallways. To you he stood out, in a perfectly beautiful way, you often chastised him for not giving himself enough credit, always asking if he'd ever even looked in a mirror. Even with your endless compliments that made him blush every time without fail, Isaac still chose to blend in, but you didn't blame him- you blamed his asshole of a father for making him believe he was anything less than wonderful.

It was no secret that Isaac was taller than the average teen in Beacon Hills standing at six foot one, which meant he gave incredible hugs but it also meant he tried his very best to fold into himself in larger crowds and he regularly walked with his head down as to not draw attention to himself, even standing at his locker he bowed his head.

Shaking off your thoughts you walked up to your best friends side, tugging his sleeve softly to alert him of your presence before wrapping your arms around him, enveloping him in a side hug and allowing your head to rest against his arm while he wriggled it out of your grasp to wrap around your waist more comfortably, not paying his burning cheeks and racing heart any mind as he shifted his gaze from organizing his books to the girl clinging to him with a pout on her face, "What's up, buttercup?"

Nuzzling your head further into his side you let out a dramatic sigh, "I heard from Scott that Derek is back in Beacon." Isaac felt his eyebrow raising at the mention of both names, Scott's because you seemed to be hearing a lot of things from him in the last couple of days and at Derek's because he was pretty sure you hadn't seen him in years.

"How would McCall know if Derek's in town? Isn't he pretty much your cousin?" Isaac asked, thumb moving soothingly against your hip as you melted into him, shoulders slumping sadly and your pout only becoming more prominent. His voice sounded slightly aggravated at the mention of Scott but you thought nothing of it, thankfully. Isaac didn't want this to turn into a conversation about his petty jealousy.

"Forget cousin he was more like my big brother. That's what's got me so twisted! Why would he come home and not even bother to check in?" You murmured grumpily against the fabric of the flannel Isaac was sporting instead of his usual cardigan, which reminded you that he couldn't have worn his usual cardigan because you'd forgotten to give it back to him the night before and sported it yourself. The comfy grey material hugging your shoulders as you hugged the boy that the item of clothing actually belonged to.

"When did McCall say he saw him?" Isaac inquired, sorting his books with one hand.

"Yesterday."

"Alright well that wasn't too long ago maybe he's planning on checking in today?" He suggested, finishing up at his locker and throwing his bag over his shoulder, dropping his hand from your hip and sliding it into yours, interlocking your fingers and giving you a comforting squeeze before he began leading you towards the school's double doors, the last class of the day having already ended.

Letting out another sigh you only nodded, swinging your interlocked hands between you as you walked towards the exit.

"I promised my dad I'd finish a plot at the cemetery so he'd let me come over tonight so I'm gonna be a little bit late." Isaac broke the silence, looking at you with an expression that was mixed with disappointment and exhaustion, "That's okay." You offered, squeezing his hand as he'd done yours earlier.

"Do you want a ride home?" You asked him, nodding your head toward your beat up, second hand car that the pair of you had already made several memories in since you got it almost a year ago for your sixteenth birthday.

The brown haired boy only shook his head, giving you a soft smile and nodding towards the bike racks, "Nah, I brought my bike today."

Nodding in understanding, you leaned up and pecked his cheek while you let go of his hand, "Alright. Since you're gonna be late I'll pick up the movie for tonight myself. You just meet me at my place whenever you're ready, Kay?"

"Yes, ma'am." Letting out a soft laugh he watched you walk to your car, already missing your warmth beside him.

The first thing you noticed upon pulling into your driveway was the slick black car that was parked beside your mother's blue one, in your usual spot. The car was new and you didn't recognize it, you quirked an eyebrow, putting your car in park behind your mother's, grabbed your school bag from the passenger seat and got out with a slam of the door.

As you entered the house you were met with the sound of voices floating from the kitchen, picking up on the hushed conversation as you made your way towards the three voices, "You need to tell her." One said, a man. "It's too soon." Another sounded, you recognized the voice to belong to your father. "No, he's right, if what he says is true she's going to get caught up in it either way. Especially now the Argent's are in town." That was your mother. Your eyebrows furrowed, you could only assume that the 'she' they were talking about was you but what you didn't understand was what exactly they were debating telling you and why it had anything to do with the Argent's, were they talking about the Allison girl who had just joined your class?

You pushed open the kitchen door, eyebrows knitted tightly together, your brain taking a second to catch up with who your eyes were seeing, "Derek."

The name left your lips in barely a whisper when your eyes landed on the dark haired man leaning against your kitchen counter with a small smile playing on his lips as he greeted you, "Hey, kid."

Without wasting anymore time you launched yourself forward, arms wrapping around Derek's middle as he let out a sigh, his own arms moving around you slowly to reciprocate your action with a tight squeeze.

"I missed you!" You exclaimed punching the older man in the shoulder once you detached from the hug, expression turning accusing after a moment prompting Derek to purse his lips and brace himself, he knew that look, he hadn't seen it in a while but he knew it. That was your "I've got a bone to pick with you" look, Derek had to fight off the smile that threatened to grow on his lips when he realized that this particular look hadn't changed since you were five years old.

"Do you want to tell me why Scott McCall got to see you before I did?" The man under fire let out a defeated sigh, "If it makes you feel any better I would've rathered it be you that I bumped into." He responded halfheartedly, letting out a huff you turned towards your parents who were sat at the dining table.

"What were you guys talking about before I came in?" You questioned, feeling nervous as the three adults suddenly went rigid, glancing between each other before Derek nodded his head in your father's direction, silently encouraging him to tell you what they'd been discussing earlier.

Letting out a heavy exhale through his nose your father motioned for you to sit down in the chairs across from him, Derek moving to sit beside your father in front of you as you did. "This is going to be hard to believe but I need you to keep an open mind while we explain, alright?" You only managed a nod of your head, nerves ever-growing as you waited for someone to elaborate on whatever they were about to tell you.

"You've heard of werewolves haven't you?"

"Sure." You responded confused, the question seemed out of place in what you assumed was to be a serious conversation.

"Well they're real." Your father responded. You couldn't stop the snort that left your mouth, breaking out into a fit of giggles before you noticed the three adults before you looking at you with absolutely no trace of amusement. "Wait you're serious?!" Your eyes almost bugged out of your head as Derek's eyes flashed blue and he bared his teeth in response to your exclamation.

"...So the howling Scott said he heard in the woods?" You trailed off, eyes wide as Derek nodded his head, "it was a werewolf."

"You?"

"No. An alpha."

Eyes never leaving Derek, you posed another question, "Is this why you're family called themselves a pack?"

The man nodded, not being able to get a word in edgewise while you continued to fire out question after question, "You guys always said I was the littlest of the pack does that mean-" Your mother cut you off with a light chuckle, "No babe, you're not a werewolf." A sigh of relief left you when you slumped back against the kitchen chair, a small twinge of disappointment flooding through you, that would've been cool.

"You may not be a wolf genetically but you're still a member of our pack." Derek assured you, sensing your disappointment. "Are they in the pack too?" You inquired, glancing quickly at your parents before returning your gaze to Derek.

"No. Just you." You couldn't lie and say the statement didn't make you feel special but still, it confused you, "Why not?"

It was your mother's turn to speak now, giving the werewolf a break from your constant curiosity.

"Back before the fire your dad and I had a certain role to play in Beacon Hills," she started, reaching for your hand before she continued, "from the minute you were born you bonded with almost everyone in the Hale house, we didn't understand it completely but we assumed it was because of how close me and your dad were to them. I guess they kind of saw you as their newest cub after Cora." Derek chuckled, chiming in with a quiet, "More like runt of the little." Giving him a glare you kicked his shin under the table while he laughed and you nodded for your mother to keep going.

"Anyway, as you already know me and your dad met in college- studying Mythology. We uncovered supernatural occurrence after supernatural occurrence and those supernatural occurrences eventually led us here, to the Hale's." She told you, looking to your father for him to continue, he cleared his throat before speaking, "We got caught up in it, built a huge repertoire of supernatural entities, including werewolves, I met Peter and we made a truce, ended up becoming best friends in the process."

Nodding your head slowly you spoke up again, "So you guys were like… their supernatural encyclopedia?"

"Pretty much." Derek answered.

"Okayyyy… but that still doesn't answer my question, why am I in the pack and not you guys?" You posed the question to your father who looked at your mother nervously.

"When you were four things got messy, really messy," Derek scoffed, rolling his eyes muttering "understatement of the century" under his breath as your father went on, "Your mother got captured by hunters, Chris Argent and his little gang of merry men." He tensed his jaw, saying the name through clenched teeth before composing himself, "So your uncle Peter made the executive decision to initiate you into the pack to make absolutely sure that nobody would get their hands on you."

"Why?" The three of them erupted into laughs at the look on your face, Derek opting to answer the question, "I don't know how you did it but you had him completely wrapped around your finger. Peter is the most selfish person I've ever met but he would've sooner died himself than let anyone touch a hair on your head. As part of a pack members protect each other at all costs. With you officially a member it meant that we were bonded to you, you were one of us." The mention of Peter made you smile, not that you'd admit it to Derek but you felt the newly exposed pack bond strongest with Peter, the dots only connecting in your head now years later. Derek picking up on your train of thought spoke up, "That's why you can't bring yourself to stop visiting him."

Your mother's voice cut in again, "Those four crescent scars on the back of your neck are from Peter, it's how he marked you as a member without actually turning you." She explained, your hand absentmindedly rubbed the nape of your neck, fingers tracing deftly over the scars that you often forgot about.

"I know it's a lot to digest but there's one more thing." Derek sighed, a slight feeling of guilt growing within him for having to dump this on you all at once. When you didn't say anything, only looked at him he continued, "The hunters who kidnapped your mother, well they're back."

Anxiety bubbled up in your stomach as you whipped your head to your mom, "Are they gonna try take her again?" Your voice was bordering on sounding manic, Derek's voice quelling your worried before you had a panic attack.

"No. I don't think so at least. It's me and the alpha they're after, and- I trust you not to tell anyone this- your friend Scott too." Your eyes widened yet again, Scott was a werewolf? That must have been why he was seeking Derek out earlier today, "That's why he was looking for you isn't it?" You voiced your thoughts, Derek rose an eyebrow in response, "Looking for me?" You nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, today in school, he and Stilinski started asking me a bunch of questions about why you were here- I told them I'd help them find you." You clarified, trying not to laugh at the exhausted look that came over Derek's face when the name Stilinski fell from your lips.

"Tell him to meet me in the woods later. I need him to help find the alpha." Derek instructed, watching contently as you pulled your phone out of your pocket and began texting Scott, thankful you'd gotten his number.

You: I'm with Derek

You: He wanted me to tell you to meet him in the woods later

Scott: When is later?

"When is later?" You voiced, not looking up from your phone, "After dark." Derek answered and you laughed, "Alright, Bruce Wayne."

You: He says "after dark"

Scott: :/ cryptic much

You: Best I could do wolfie

Scott: He told you??????

You: Yep, I'll fill you in tomorrow there's a lot to unpack here…

Scott: Please don't tell anybody

You: Your secret is safe with me don't worry

With that you set your phone down in front of you, before something crossed your mind, "Wait you said Argent earlier right?" Derek nodded, your mother and father having moved from the table, preparing food in the kitchen.

"Allison Argent just started at my school, I'm pretty sure Scott has a crush on her actually." You informed, shrugging your shoulders lightly, picking up your phone when it buzzed and missing the way Derek rolls his eyes.

Isaac: I'll be over at 7 <3

You: Great what movie do you want me to get?

Isaac: Ladies choice ;)

You: Hope you like Legally Blonde xoxoxo

Isaac: Seriously again?

You: You said my choice no take backs, love you <3333333

The time was 5:45pm and the sky had turned from blue to black, you assumed Derek would be heading off to stress Scott out soon enough so you stood from the table and grabbed your jacket, "I'm gonna go rent a DVD for me and Isaac, you guys need anything?" You directed towards your parents who were messing around in the kitchen like teenagers causing you to roll your eyes but smile.

"Huh? No we're okay. When is lover boy coming?" Your father asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you, laughing at how you groaned, "Stop calling my best friend 'loverboy' one of these days you're gonna slip up and call him that to his face and he'll literally die of embarrassment on the spot!" You yelled, cheeks burning and expecting your mother to come to your defense only to have her laugh along with your father, "Yeah, don't talk about your future son in law like that."

"God, you two are the worst. Derek tell them to stop harassing my friendships." The dark haired man rose an eyebrow from his seat, a strict look on his face, "She's too young for a boyfriend."

"Thanks, Derek. That was absolutely not helpful at all, but thank you." You muttered, grabbing your car keys and heading out the door.

You loved your parents, adored them, they raised you incredibly- that didn't mean they didn't annoy the hell out of you sometimes, though. They had about fifty names that they liked to call Isaac instead of his actual name, the most popular being "loverboy", "heart eyes", or your mother's personal favorite "future son in law." You supposed it was good that they liked him enough to consider him a future son in law, however, it was pretty insensitive when they could clearly see that you were painfully in love with him and fighting with inner turmoil because of it.

After a five minute drive you pulled up to the video store, stepping out and noticing Lydia Martin in the car next to you, you made brief eye contact with the strawberry blonde and the pair of you exchanged friendly smiles before you entered the store. Lydia was nice but you noticed she wore a facade around school, more specifically around Jackson. You remembered quite vividly how she shot Isaac down rather brutally back in freshman year. He'd only asked her out to prove a point to you, you couldn't remember what now but you'd gotten in some form of argument and the resolution you'd come to was that he prove himself and ask someone out, that someone happened to be Lydia. He didn't really like her but the whole debacle did significantly bruise his ego.

Of course, wherever Lydia Martin is Jackson Whittemore was never far away. You almost laughed when the first thing you heard after walking into the store was the jock shouting about not being able to find "The Notebook".

"It's over there." You chimed in, alerting him of your presence and pointing straight ahead of him towards the movie he was searching for.

Nodding thankfully the blonde made his way toward the far shelf while you walked to the other side of the store.

Despite being across the room, Jackson's gasp sounded clearly making you nearly jump out of your skin. Placing a hand on your rapidly beating heart you just shook your head and let out a long breath. You were probably just hearing things, your mind concocting noises to psych you out after learning the new information about the supernatural, Jackson's gasp had absolutely nothing to do with the snarls you thought you were hearing from behind you.

You had yourself convinced you were just hearing things. That was until the snarls became mingled with hot, slobbery breaths that hit the nape of your neck, shocking you into spinning yourself around. You couldn't help the yelp of fear that left your lips when your eyes met beaming red orbs… the eyes- they weren't human.

What you were looking at you could only describe as a beast. A wolf. The ability you usually possessed to control your breathing left you as you heaved, continuing to stumble back as the creature took steps forward until your back hit a row of shelves painfully. DVDs crashing to the floor in your wake.

The creature was face to face with you now, snout coming in contact with your nose as it's demonic eyes bored into your soul. It snarled as you felt your heart rate increase, it was going so fast you were half scared it would detach from it's blood vessels. Everything about the creature scared you, from its eyes, to it's snarl, to its fangs baring in your face, but what frightened you the most was that you felt like you knew it. There was a familiarity with it and you could not for the life of you explain it but you could feel it.

The scream that left you when the beast finally lunged for you with snapping jaws shook the store as the wolf sunk its teeth into the soft tissue of where your shoulder connects to your neck. The pain you felt was as blinding as the eyes that stared at you, the beast raised it's hair covered paw in the air, fully intent of swiping the last remnants of life from your now limp form before it suddenly stopped, looking at you with so much uncertainty. Not getting a chance to analyze the new look on the things hairy face the creature resumed its position on all fours then crashed out of the store window.

"(L/n)?!" Jackson whisper shouted, from around the corner, only seeing your legs peeking out from behind a row of shelves as he made his way over to you, his movements jittery. You tried to call out but your voice failed you, you kicked your legs out weakly to let him know where you were, not knowing he was already rushing towards you.

"Christ… ok just stay awake I'm calling the police right now." The blond, who you'd never known to care for anything other than himself, spoke frantically- shaking as he pulled out his phone.

Your hearing faded in and out as Jackson shouted at law enforcement over the phone. Tilting your head to the side, very painfully, you began to panic once you noticed the gaping bite that had been taken out of your neck, you whimpered pathetically at the sight of your entire shoulder, neck and hair drenched in blood, your blood. Your panic seemed to rub off on Jackson as he noticed your breath becoming heavier and heavier by the second, tears falling down your face as you stared at your injury in fear.

It was just then that sirens wailed from outside, this eased Jackson's nerves, the boy, you had to hand it to him, didn't leave your side until you were safely in an ambulance- your nerves however were still fried, panic growing by the second as strangers fretted around you, yelling orders at each other and pushing painfully against your wounds. Calm didn't settle over you until one of the medics injected you with a needle, you didn't have a clue what was in it and you didn't have time to theorize as your world turned black.

#isaac lahey x reader #isaac lahey imagine #teen wolf x reader #isaac lahey

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theartoflovingthomashunt · 4 years

Photo

dx: a Ticking Clock [AU]

Masterlists: [Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer] [Ethan Ramsey x Ellie Shepherd] [Love & Scotch Crossover]

– – – Characters: Alex, Thomas Hunt, Ethan Ramsey, Ellie Shephard (OH: MC), Naveen Banerji, Baz Mirani, Zaid + other OH characters mentioned Prompt: fear @choicesoctoberchallenge2020 Word Count: +/- 1,400

TW: character death mentioned (same warnings as would apply to OH2 CH11)

Series Background: This takes place in my Hollywood U AU. Alex and Thomas are engaged. Ethan is an old friend whom the couple reconnected with recently. Alex is the biggest shipper of Ethan and Ellie(MC), and is thrilled Ethan finally took her advice to do something about his feelings

Chapter Background: This takes place after Two Words (Thomas and Alex come to Boston to offer assistance during the crisis and support their friends) and at the same time as Never Let Go (Ethan spends the night with Ellie in quarantine)

Catch up on Love and Scotch

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The hallway hummed with the murmur of the doctors collaborating with only one goal in mind—saving Ellie and Rafael. The diagnostic’s office had become overrun with the number of hands that offered assistance. The conversations quickly became a cacophonous ruckus rather than a productive dialogue of possible solutions. They decided to split into groups, in the hope of exploring more ideas in less time by allowing greater opportunities for everyone’s ideas to be shared and tested. Naveen headed the team that remained in Ethan’s office. Tobias led the team stationed in the conference room. Both groups worked diligently, knowing that time was of the essence and a wasted minute could be all that stood in the way of saving their friends’ lives.

It hadn’t taken Alex long to discover Ethan’s hidden stash of coffee and his secret espresso machine. She caught a whiff of the rich, but subtle notes of the premium blend tucked in the bottom drawer of a cabinet while tidying papers on his desk.

“We don’t touch that,” Baz noted, leaning against the bookshelf behind her. “Ethan doesn’t let anyone touch it. He will tell you he is a connoisseur and no one quite grasps the delicacies needed. He’ll trust us with patients but not his espresso machine.”

A smile played on her lips, the machine buzzed to life under her skilled touch. “Ethan may think he knows coffee, but it’s kind of my thing.”

“On your head be it.” Baz breathed out a soft, skeptical laugh. “When this is over, I’d quite like to see his reaction to you informing him he is not as wise to his coffee as he believes.”

Alex worked her magic setting the machine up and readying it for her first request. “Something like ‘you know nothing, Ethan Ramsey’.”

His hearty laugh overtook the somber tone of the room, even if just for the two of them. "Except, he really would know nothing because that reference would go over his head.”

“True! Anyway, I’m sure he won’t mind. After all, it’s for Ellie—” The words slipped out of her lips in a tone she worried said too much. “What I meant is, I’m sure he’d want his team to be well cared for and fueled to assist any member of the team that could find themselves in mortal peril. For the EMT too. And anyone, not just Ellie,” she rambled trying to cover up for any slip that may have occurred.

“It’s okay, I know.”

“You know?” The last part of the word lingered as Alex dragged it out questioningly.

“I know.” He nodded, quirking a brow at her.

“You know, as in you know?” Her chocolate brown eyes narrowed on him knowingly.

“I know,” he reasserted, grinning proudly.

“Do they know?”

“Ellie might. Ethan doesn’t.”

“How?”

A low laugh rumbled in his chest. “How can you not notice? They haven’t exactly mastered the subtleties of being in a secret relationship.”

“By they, you mean Ethan?” Alex grinned to herself. The first round of espresso shots began to drip, filling the office with a warm, inviting scent.

“It’s like you’ve met him!” He teased, the two of them giggled in the corner like schoolgirls sharing a juicy secret.

“I like you, Baz,” Alex decided. “So if Ethan throws a tantrum about me using his coffee machine, I won’t even blame you,” she teased. “Maybe your brother though.”

“As long as I’m there when you tell him.”

“Deal. Now, what can I make you?”

Ethan’s precious supply of premium beans dwindled as the hours passed, Alex kept everyone caffeinated and alert, while Hunt brought food and water to the weary doctors. With each glance to the ticking clock, the lines of worry etched on their tired faces grew deeper.

***

Hunt’s hand clasped on the older doctor’s shoulders, jerking him to attention and pulling him from his thoughts. “You need rest, Naveen.”

“I will when we’ve solved this puzzle.” His weary eyes fell once more to the research and medical charts scattered on the table in front of him.

“At least take a walk to clear your head,” Hunt suggested.

He shook his head side to side in contemplation. “I can’t. Not until I have an answer. Not until they’re safe.”

“Naveen, no one will fault you for taking a break. Everyone else has.”

“I will,” he insisted. “But not yet. If something were to happen while I was gone or if we were ten minutes too late because I took a break…” His voice quivered, unable to finish the thought as dread twisted in his gut. The color drained from his face at the possibility of them being too late.

Hunt nodded in understanding, knowing there was nothing he could do to comfort the man before him.

“Not just because Ellie saved my life last year,” he lowered his voice, keeping the next part between them. “I don’t have any children, I have Ethan. He may yet think that love is a weakness, but it’s not. Whether he’s ready to admit to it or not, he needs her. I don’t know if he could survive losing her.”

“I know what you mean.” Hunt’s gaze fell to Alex busy across the room. “There are some people we’ll go to any length to save, no matter the cost.” His hand found Naveen’s shoulder again, offering a consoling gesture. “If there’s anything I can do.”

***

Ethan’s gloved hand glossed over her tousled, sweat-coated hair, being careful not to wake her. She had finally let sleep overtake her not too long ago, though he didn’t dare join her. Fighting his own exhaustion, he kept a steady gaze on the monitors ensuring no sudden decline in her vitals.

Alex watched for a few moments, giving him time with her. Her eyes misted over; she’d never seen him so tender before. She recognized that look on his face, if only Ellie could see him now. Luckily for him, the entirety of the hospital was too busy determining a cure that they would be oblivious to the obvious connection between the two doctors in the room before her.

Her finger lingered on the intercom button for what felt like an eternity. She spoke softly, “Can I get you anything?”

Ethan’s blue eyes shimmered like the glassy surface of the cool ocean. “Anything yet?”

She shook her head side to side. “Sorry.”

He gently rested the plastic shield of his protective suit against the top of her head. His lips pressed against the clear surface. “Hold on just a little bit longer, Ellie.”

Alex sniffled, the pads of her fingers collecting the tears before they could fall. She needed to be brave for him.

Ethan shifted, inching away from her. “Will you stay with her? I can’t ask you to come in even with protection, but just stay there and let me know the minute she wakes or if any of her vitals change. I know a nurse can do it, but I’d rather it be you.”

“Of course, Ethan. Whatever you need. What will you be doing?”

His fingers hovered once more over her, tracing the length of her arm. “Finding a way to save her.”

“I’m proud of you,” she whispered, as he began the procedure to leave quarantine without spreading the contaminant.

“What for?”

“You took a chance.”

His tone was harsher, “look how that turned out.”

“This is just a chapter, I can’t believe it’s the end,” she offered, glancing back to Ellie sleeping soundly. “Take the advice you gave her. ‘Just hold on a little bit longer’, you’ll save her. I have to believe it.”

Ethan offered a curt nod, leaving in silence, pausing only for a moment to glance back to Ellie lying helplessly in the small hospital bed.

Alex focused on the steady pulse of the monitors, watching and listening for even the slightest shift in the information. Her hand rested over her phone in her pocket ready to call Ethan within seconds if needed.

Hunt’s arms snaked around her from behind, causing her body to shake at the unexpected contact. “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself.” Alex leaned into her fiancé, letting the warmth of his embrace calm her racing mind.

“How are you holding up?” His beard tingled against her skin as he brushed a kiss on her cheek.

She spun quickly, wrapping her arms around him. She leaned up on her tiptoes to bury her face in the crook of his neck.

“I know.” His fingers combed through her dark hair. She didn’t need to say what was on her mind, he knew the weight of what was troubling her. “Just have faith in them. He’ll find a way, I know he will.”

“How can you be so sure?” Alex sniffled into his shirt collar.

“Because he loves her.”

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(tags in a reblog, trying that again to see if it makes any difference in my posts staying in search/tags)

#thomas hunt #thomas hunt x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart #red carpet diaries #hollywood u #hunt x mc #professor hunt #thomas orson hunt #dr. ramsey #hunt x alex #alex hunt #fan fiction #love and scotch #choices fan fiction #ethan x ellie #thomas hunt x ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x thomas hunt

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wonderlustlucas · 4 years

Text

i hemoglobin you - byun baekhyun

⇢ prompt “Yeah, but Baekhyun doesn’t really talk romantics with me.” ⇢ pairing baekhyun x gender neutral reader ⇢ word count 4.8k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. kinda descriptive when it comes to the actual needle idk i’m bad at warnings if needles make u uncomfy don’t read. ⇢ summary You’d think, after some time, your crush on the annoying little shit named Byun Baekhyun would fade away. Fortunately for him (and you), falling out of love with someone brighter than a star is near impossible. Plus, needles are scary and even med kids need their hand held sometimes. Alternatively: Junmyeon found dead in a ditch.—friends to lovers!au ; college blood drive!au ⇢ a/n ok yes i realize this is an odd setting for fanfiction but like,,, my school had a blood drive & what happens in this is exactly what i experienced, minus the whole crush revealing they like me with a kiss thing. so i decided to WRITE IT OKAY?! also, i really tried to make this gender, color, absolutely everything reader neutral but then when i was editing i saw the nurse call y/n ‘miss’ so if i missed anything pls lmk so i can edit it!!! thank u & i hope u enjoy ♥︎

If it weren’t for that time you tried anal with your ex-boyfriend back in high school, you’d consider Byun Baekhyun to be the biggest pain in your ass. If asked, you definitely could come up with a hefty list of all the things about him that annoy the living daylights out of you, things from the unnecessary high volume of his voice to the time he introduced himself as “Bacon” on the first day of your internship at the hospital.

Truthfully, however, it all comes down to one certain realization: seeing Baekhyun’s stupidly cute smile has become the sole thing you look forward to everyday. For the first two years at university, you did not know Byun Baekhyun. You knew of him. As fate would have it, you were bound to meet at some point with an undergraduate enrollment of around four thousand, and your sanity began its downward tumble the third week of junior year.

At the time, you couldn’t quite put your finger on why he left such a sour taste in your mouth. From a distance, he was a star; this great, big bundle of sunshine and joy, full of life and spirit and in the eyes of someone as mild-mannered as yourself, he was magnificent and everything you wished you were. But, once the barrier between you fell and your relationship swiftly jumped from strangers to friends, you realized just how polar opposite you were. Always going out of his way to meet new people and a little too chaotic for you personally, Baekhyun draws attention to himself without even trying. And you can’t blame him— it’s hard to go unnoticed when you prance around with a thousand-watt smile and the energy of a three-month-old golden retriever.

Sometimes, you wished he had chosen one of the arts as his major rather than health sciences.

Nevertheless, it is hard to ignore such an innocently beautiful soul such as Baekhyun. No matter how many times you told yourself to find a new lab partner, no matter how many countless nights you found yourself rolling out of bed, bundled up in your blankets and into the cold hallway of your residence hall to knock on Park Chanyeol’s door and tell him to open the window for his frost-bitten roommate hiding in the bushes, no matter how many this or how many that’s, you couldn’t help but fall in love with the friendship and chaos that came with Byun Baekhyun.

If it weren’t for that time you tried anal with your ex-boyfriend back in high school, you’d consider Byun Baekhyun to be the love of your life.

“Absolutely not,” you interrupt, looking up from your clipboard in order to search the crowd for the younger boy. Baekhyun groans, wrapping his arms around your waist and dropping his head on your shoulder. “C’mon, ___. He’s fine, you know Sehun.” He whines, adding a drawn-out ‘please’ against your ear. It makes your stomach sink for reasons you’d rather not disclose.

“Baek,” you scoff, wiggling out of his grip despite his best efforts of keeping you against him, “are you serious? Sehun quite possibly may be the smallest person in this room. He needs to rest.”

“He’s twenty pounds heavier than me!”

“Taller, too.”

“___,” he groans, crossing his arms over his chest and mustering his best straight face. It makes you laugh.

“I’m not arguing with you. He did Power Red; he’s not going anywhere. If he didn’t want to miss chem, then he should have made his appointment later. It’s one class. He’ll be fine.”

“Why must you be so stubborn?” Baekhyun sighs in defeat, combing muted silver hair away from his forehead. Your eyes follow the movement, distracted for hardly a second, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “I learned it from you,” you smile, nudging his arm with your elbow. The signature tilted smirk returns. “Tell Sehun I’m sorry, but I—well, we—can’t risk letting him leave. He could have a delayed effect and end up passed out in the staircase. Twenty more minutes and he can go.”

“I get it,” he hums, snatching the tentative schedule out of your hands before you can even protest. For as rash as he may be, Baekhyun is not dumb. And even if he was, he knows that when you are as unrelenting as you are now, there’s no point in arguing. “I think I’m gonna try and donate.”

“What?” You exclaim, maybe a little too loud if all the Red Cross employees shooting annoyed glares your way is anything to go by. Baekhyun truly is started to rub off on you. “I thought you were scared of needles?”

“Heights, ___,” he scoffs, “needles aren’t my favorite, but if I’m going to eventually put them in other people, I better get used to them for myself.” As he explains, he rolls up the sleeves of his hoodie and presses at the soft skin on the inside of his arm before stretching it out for your examination. “I mean,” you hum, holding him still and feeling around for a thick enough vein, “you definitely have the veins. Do you want me to hold your hand?” You sing the last part cutely, lips puckered out at him.

“Will you? Since Sehun has to stay over there, I have no one else,” Baekhyun retorts, using your previous resolve to his advantage. You can’t tell if he’s oblivious or simply choosing to ignore your mockery. Rolling your eyes, you drop his arm and reach for your clipboard, tearing it out of his grasp. “Don’t you have anything else better to do than annoy me? Aren’t you supposed to be watching the donors?”

“Well, yes, but—”

Baekhyun starts, trailing behind you before the shout of his name promptly cuts him off. “Baekhyun! Can you help Jongdae carry in more water?” See, precisely as you were saying.

“But I like annoying you,” he pouts, hugging onto your arm and holding on tight. “Sorry, Baek,” you offer, feelings in shambles because 1) he is so cute you could cry but 2) he’s really distracting and now you finally will be able to focus, at least while he’s gone. Frowning, he releases your arm at last, combing his hair back and once again, you feel like throwing up.

“Go see if you can donate when you’re done,” you remind him, nodding toward the rather quiet donor room. “Yeah, I will. Wish me luck,” Baekhyun grins, blowing you a kiss. Without a second thought, you blow one back.

You have begun walking on an incredibly unstable rope, you realize, the thin line distinguishing the way you look at Baekhyun diminishing each and every day. On one side, he is simply your friend, your lab partner, a coworker of sorts. Comrades working toward the same goal, and once it’s reached, you go your separate ways. But on the other hand, he is much more than that. Now that you no longer live on campus, days spent bullshitting in the dining hall or dorms over, you most certainly do not spend as much time together.

And yet, nothing has changed. Except for your feelings, of course. This time last year, you were minding your own damn business when Chanyeol had to go and mention how much time Baekhyun spends with you instead of him. “Sorry?” You had offered, unsure of what the crease in his brow meant.

“No… don’t be sorry,” he hummed, deep in thought and stabbing at his salad in disinterest, “not to be blunt, but he usually bounces from person to person each week. He’s been sticking to you for, what, six months? Something is up.”

“Don’t you live with him?” You asked, confused. What was he getting at here?

“Yeah, but Baekhyun doesn’t really talk romantics with me.”

“Romantics?” You exclaimed, spit flying from your lips. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice.

“He definitely likes you. God, it all makes sense now! Okay, I need to do some interrogating,” suddenly rushing, Chanyeol was up and swinging his bag over his shoulder before you could blink an eye. “See ya, ___!”

“Wait!” You yelled out for him, but the obnoxiously tall boy just kept running, dodging students meandering around the dining hall. Slumping in your chair, you eventually turned to look out the window, watching as he continued his flight across campus. “Good talk.”

Nothing ever came up afterward. No answers, no clarifications, nada. Chanyeol never brought it up again, despite the expectant raise of your brows the next lunch you had alone with him. You were content shrugging it off— it was out of your hands. If Baekhyun liked you, so be it.

Or so you thought. Turns out, having such unanswered questions dangling over your head every time Baekhyun left his friends for you at parties, fell asleep with his head on your shoulder during chem, or arrived at your front door with your favorite boba in hand just because he ‘was driving by’ left your mind racing almost as fast as your heart. You thought, for some time, that you could dodge such budding emotions by countering it with all the things you didn’t like about Baekhyun. (Spoiler: it didn’t work.)

Even now, as you watch him catch up with Jongdae, the left side of your brain has already begun arguing with the right. You miss his annoying ass already, one side points out. But he was a distraction, now you have double the students to check in, the other reasons. With a heavy sigh, you shake your head to rid such enraging thoughts and turn to said students, counting each one before making your way to the first in line.

He can’t donate. You realize this before he has even left his seat.

From across the gymnasium, you have continued glancing his way as he went through the mini physical. Just before the finger prick, he shot you a thumbs up and a beaming smile bright enough to challenge the Sun before jerking in his seat at the sudden pinch. Laughing, the grin you returned has not even left your face before his shoulders are sagging, a cloud of disappointment replacing the anxious excitement that was there hardly ten seconds ago. Your smile is gone just as quickly as his.

Standing, Baekhyun nods one last time to the nurse before making his way over, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck from side to side. “Low iron?” You guess, opening your arms for him to nestle into your side like the little munchkin he is. “Yeah,” he mumbles, miserable, and you cringe knowing he’s going to be like this all day now. “I wish I could donate, but…” You drone emptily, trying to change the subject despite the deceitfulness of your ‘wish.’ Over your dead body would you lie on one of those tables and have a harpoon in your arm.

“You should, now that I can’t,” he hums, breath warm on your skin. Convincing as snuggly Baekhyun is, it’s not happening. “Yeah, I’ll pass,” you snort, offering a faux smile to a group of sophomore girls making their way in, shooting confused and envious glances your way. “Make sure to grab a water before starting your Rapid Pass, ladies. If you have not eaten much today, there are snacks by Katie,” you spew, pointing to said girl across the room, “if you have any questions, let me know.” With one last feeble smile, you turn your back to them because, well, it’s awkward facing multiple females whose eyes are trained solely on the boy clinging to you.

“You’re hot when your all doctor,” Baekhyun whispers, lips brushing ever so softly against your collarbone. Suddenly, you regret taking your sweatshirt off during lunch. Swallowing past the panic rising in your throat, you scoff. “Doctor? What doctor are you seeing that directs their patients toward donuts, muffins, danishes—”

“Hot ones, I guess,” he interrupts, smirking against your skin. “Ooooh ‘kay,” you wheeze, heart racing and eyes wide as you wiggle away from him, “y’know, maybe I will donate. Just so you stop bugging me.” Gasping, Baekhyun fakes a bullet to the heart. “Ah, but here’s the thing,” he counters, following close behind as you make your way to the front table, “my job is to distract donors from the needle, hold their hand, tell them ‘good job!’ So, it looks like you’re stuck with me.”

Groaning, you choose to ignore the inexhaustible boy and smile to Lauren once you have reached her. “Do you know if anyone can cover for me for a little? I’m going to try and donate.”

Gasping, she ruffles through the papers spread about her for the volunteer log. Then, “You should be fine. After those girls, the next appointment isn’t until two. I thought you hated this whole concept?”

Snorting, you pull one of the laptops towards you and begin filling out the information needed for a walk-in. “Yeah, well,” tilting your head in Baekhyun’s direction, you sigh, “he couldn’t donate, so now I feel obligated to. Plus, I need a break.”

“Ah,” Lauren hums, writing your name and ‘Walk-In’ on a sticker before passing it to you, “are you guys…?”

Immediately catching what she is hinting at, you jump up from your knelt position and quickly return to your station. “Nope! Negative! Okay, bye Lauren! Thanks!” Laughing, she chooses to ignore your antics, watching after you with a knowing smile when Baekhyun realizes you have left and scrambles to catch up.

You’re hoping you won’t be eligible since you left the country for vacation with your family nine months ago.

Never mind. It’s fine.

Perhaps your heart rate will be too high. You’re pretty anxious, after all.

84. Shit.

You flinch when the quiet-mannered nurse pricks your ring finger. Praying that your iron will be too low, you lean forward in your seat just enough to see the machine’s reading. 13.4. Fuck.

“Alright, I’m just gonna need you to read this first paragraph and sign here,” she directs you, using a pen to point at each spot. When she stands to wave for the next potential donor, you glance up to search for Baekhyun. You could use one of his smiles right about now.

And what you ask for, you receive. Finding your gaze instantaneously, he shoots you bright, encouraging grin and a thumbs up. It’s enough to calm your nerves. A little.

Offering an uncomfortable smile back, you return to your paperwork and hurriedly finish up, your leg bouncing ceaselessly. “All done?” The nurse returns, smiling softly at you and taking the papers when you nod. “You can head over to the third table in the middle.” “Okie,” you squeak, nice, “thank you!”

Good god, what happened to never allowing one of these needles to go in your arm? Sure, you have had blood tests done before, Hell, you have even given someone else one! But this… this is different. This is no ordinary needle, and you certainly do not have Byun Baekhyun veins.

“How are you doing today?” The Red Cross worker greets you once you have reached the table, smile warm and comforting. Seoyeon, her nametag reads. “I’m, ah… I’ve been better, honestly,” your voice comes out shaky and weak. You cringe. Going to med school and you’re whining over a needle. A big, fat, wide needle that will stay in your arm for more than five minutes. “Aw, no! Why’s that?” Seoyeon pouts, shuffling through your papers and slapping a big sticker onto the bag your blood, eventually, will fill.

“I have pretty tiny veins, so I’m really nervous this isn’t going to go well for me,” you admit, artfully rolling the sleeves of your tee even higher. Humming as she finishes carrying over the rest of the equipment, Seoyeon helps you onto the cushioned table before standing beside you, reaching for your arms. “Well,” she starts, brushing over each one for a few seconds before tying a tourniquet around your right bicep, “lucky for you, we do in fact check to make sure your veins are big enough. Hansol, can you double-check that this is alright?”

Your nerves seemingly do not know how to feel at the given moment. On one hand, these are professionals. They know what they’re doing. Plus, Seoyeon is lovely and has certainly eased your anxiety. Nevertheless, you realize that if your veins are okay, that needle is going to be in you in minutes.

This Hansol skirts around the table to feel the two veins Seoyeon has gone back and forth prodding. “Hm,” he grunts, pressing harder on the vein set deeper beneath your skin, “this one is good.” Oh, Christ. “Okay! Thanks,” Seoyeon smiles, then, once he has left her side, “you can lie back this way, sweetie.”

“Okay,” you sigh, settling back and resting your head on the pillow. Unsure of how to situate yourself, you awkwardly cross your legs and nestle your left arm into the pockets of your joggers, right arm dangling over the edge of the table. Then, just as you have closed your eyes, “___!”

Oh, good. This should be interesting. “Hey, Baek,” you smile at the boy as he jogs over, stopping on your left side. “You made it! No backing out now, right?”

“No, no. I’m praying for the best,” you hum, turning away from him to look straight up at the ceiling as Seoyeon begins sanitizing your arm. “You’re gonna be fine,” Baekhyun sings, tugging your hand out of your pocket to intertwine his fingers with yours, “if Sehun could do it, so can you.”

“I’m just marking where your vein is, no need to tense up,” Seoyeon interrupts, chuckling at how easily your posture has gone rigid at the sensation. Funny, how you only tensed up because of Baekhyun’s tender gesture. “I know I’ll be okay, I just,” anxiously licking the desert-dryness of your lips, you once again turn to Baekhyun, “I’m not looking forward to feeling this thing in my arm for ten minutes.”

“Nah,” he giggles, thumb swiping back and forth against your skin, “I’ll distract you!” Yeah, well you do that every day anyway, you snort to yourself, shamelessly taking advantage of the moment and scanning over his features, zoning in on the pinkness of his lips and the tiny moles sprinkled about his face. From this angle, even the shitty LED lighting of the gym somehow makes him look immaculate. “Alright, I’m going to count down from three,” Seoyeon interrupts your gawking, though you haven’t really processed her words until she’s on two. “One…” She utters, and you are instantly squeezing your eyes closed just as hard as your squeezing Baekhyun’s hand as the needle first breaks skin.

“Oh, shit,” you heave once it’s completely sheathed, rolling the plastic grip anxiously in your increasingly sweaty hand, “that actually wasn’t so bad.” Now that Baekhyun has moved to stand directly behind your head, you stare straight up at him and muster your best smile. Really— it was not as bad as you imagined, felt just like regular blood work. As long as you don’t focus too much on it remaining in your arm, you’ll be fine.

“See! I knew you could do it,” he cheers, letting go of your free hand in favor of combing his fingers through your hair. “Ooh,” you quite literally purr, leaning your head back to give him further access, “so, Mr. This-Is-My-Job, is this how you distract donors?” Chuckling, Baekhyun continues to comb through the knots that have accumulated throughout the day. “No,” he admits, “I usually just talk to them about what they did over the weekend. You’re an exception, though.”

Christ, you hope he can’t feel the way your face heats up at his words. “Ah, well, this is great. Thanks, Baek,” humming, you cannot help but let your eyelids fall closed. Peak comfort when you're donating blood? Not what you would have expected.

“So, what did you do this weekend?”

“Well, I went to Target, which was kind of disappointing.”

“Oh, yeah! Didn’t I see on your story that you only got one pair of pants or something?”

“Yeah! Crazy, honestly. I needed to pick up some things and they were completely out. Even their clothes were kind of slacking.” Before he can reply, Seoyeon returns to check up on you. Gasping in surprise, she gives your shoulder a congratulatory nudge. “___! Look at you! You’ve already filled up a fourth of the bag.”

“Oh shit, really?” Laughing, you try to lean up in order to see, but there’s no use. “Have you been drinking a lot of water today?” She asks. Well, now that you think about it… “Huh. I guess I have. Nice.” Chuckling, she fiddles with the tape holding the needle in place before turning away once more.

“So,” Baekhyun starts conversation up once more, “did you do anything else?”

“I hung out with Junmyeon on Sunday again.” Suddenly, you wish you didn’t tell him that.

“Oh,” Baekhyun coughs, accidentally yanking too hard on the tiny braid he’s attempted by your temple, “how was that?”

“It was fun. He’s a great guy…” Clearly, you are hesitant and he easily catches it. “But…?”

“I don’t know,” he’s not you, “I feel really immature and lame compared to him. He’s like, super chill and polite and somehow, it makes me nervous and then I act like I’m on crack. He needs someone older than him, not younger. A lawyer, or something.”

“___, you’re getting a degree in Neuroscience. What the fuck is lame about that?” Baekhyun scoffs, undoing the braid and starting over on the other side. “I don’t know! I guess I just don’t have romantic feelings for him. Everyone keeps pushing me to go for it and he really is amazing, but… it’s just not what I want.”

“No one’s forcing you to date him, ___.”

Well, yeah, but he doesn’t know the bit where your friends are doing it so you can get over a certain someone else. “I know. I think he’ll be fine when I tell him I just want to be friends.”

When a heavy silence falls over you, you rush to change the topic. “So! What did you do this weekend?”

“I played New Horizons,” Baekhyun chuckles, giving up on the braid and going back to simply combing through your hair. When you laugh, you feel the vibration in your arm and realize with another wave of surprise that you still have a needle in you. Damn, looks like you’re a pro at this. Who knew!

“All weekend?” You snort. He definitely went out for drinks with Chanyeol or something.

“Yes, sadly,” oh, never mind, “I couldn’t help it. It’s so relaxing. I can’t wait to go home and play.” He sounds ashamed. “Hey,” you shrug, “sometimes we need a mental health day. Or weekend.”

“Or week.”

“Month?”

“Year, I’m thinking.”

In the midst of your giggle fit, Seoyeon returns, evidently shutting the two of you up. “You’re all done! I just have to take a few tubes and then I’ll tell you when I’m going to take the needle out.”

“Wow, was it just me or did that seem really quick?” Baekhyun asks, frantically moving to hold your hand when he notices you wince at the uncomfortable feel of the needle moving slightly as Seoyeon fills each tube. “No, you’re right,” she hums, “six minutes! Wasn’t so bad, right?”

“Not at all,” you agree, blinking up at the ceiling. Still, you can’t wait to be done. “You sure? Your hand is shaking really bad,” Baekhyun murmurs, hovering directly above your face. He looks funny, messy hair cascading around him and cheeks looking extra squishy. It makes you smile. “Yeah, just nervous for it to come out, actually. Feel like it’s gonna hurt,” you admit, accidentally squeezing his hand when all Seoyeon does is remove the tape on your wrist keeping the line in place.

“Alright, you ready? It’s just going to a be a little pinch,” Seoyeon interrupts, giving your fingertips a reassuring squeeze. “Yeah,” you hum, instinctively sucking in a deep breath and squeezing your eyes shut.

The sensation that first registers in your brain is not that of Seoyeon slowly withdrawing the needle from beneath your skin. Actually, it’s unnoticeable behind the gentle pressure lingering upon your lips, soft to touch and minty in taste. Blistex, you recognize, eyes flying open just in time to see Baekhyun leaning back up. “Did you just—”

“Alright, keep pressure on this for me and keep your arm straight up,” Seoyeon interjects, oblivious to what just transpired as she presses a hefty square of gauze to your skin. You oblige, brain cells going haywire still trying to piece together the fact that Byun Baekhyun just kissed you.

“Do you do that to everyone?” Is the first thing you blurt to the grinning boy, who, surprisingly so, wears cheeks just as rosy as yours. “No,” he laughs, moving to the side and continuing to stroke you hand, “just donors named ___.”

“Oh,” wrinkling your nose, you slowly lean upright once Seoyeon instructs you to do so, “can I ask why or am I just special?” When she busies herself for few moments cleaning up all of the equipment, Baekhyun releases your hand in order to cup your face with both hands. “Well, of course you’re special,” he murmurs, thumbs swiping against your jaw, “but I figured this was a good opportunity to show you how much I like you.”

It takes a fat second for you to realize what he’s just said. Like you?

“I’m gonna kill him,” you groan, definitely not the response he was expecting if the way he retracts is anything to go by. “Kill who?”

“Chanyeol! Like, a year ago he went all detective mode on me trying to figure out if you liked me, but then he never said anything again, so for the past year I’ve been going nuts trying not to fall for you because I figured if he had nothing to say, you probably didn’t like me like that, yet here we are a year later and—”

In the midst of your mindless babbling, Seoyeon coughs, promptly shutting you up and you turn to her with a wince. “I just need to wrap you up, then you can head over to Recovery,” her attempt to hide her smile is futile but you don’t comment on it, instead allowing her to wrap elastic tape around your elbow. “Leave this on for about an hour, or you can take it off after twenty minutes. Other than that, you’re good to go!”

“Thanks so much, Seoyeon,” smiling appreciatively at her, you slowly turn to slide off the table with the help of her grip on your other arm. Before you are even fully upright, Baekhyun has rounded the table to help, slipping his arm between yours. Honestly, you feel perfectly fine, but you’re not about to go arguing right now. Once he starts leading the two of you toward Recovery, he breaks the silence once more. “So, were you finished back there, or can I talk?”

Cringing, you shake your head, avoiding looking him in the eyes. “No, I’m done.”

“Good,” at this, you pinch his arm, “Chanyeol didn’t say anything because I told him not to.” Baekhyun shushes you when your mouth opens to argue. “I thought I would make a move a lot sooner. But every time I went to, I just started panicking thinking you didn’t feel the same, because, y’know, you don’t show much emotion. And then you started hanging out with Junmyeon… but that doesn’t seem to be working out, so I decided to wing it.”

Your jaw certainly must be on the floor. Stopping by the snacks, Baekhyun releases your arm so you can fill your hands with a donut, apple juice, and a bag of Cheez-Its. “Glad to see we’re both airheads,” you grumble with a mouthful of donut, “I say we blame Chanyeol.” Making sure you safely seat yourself onto the mats spread around the room, Baekhyun then joins and sits crisscross across from you. “I agree. It’s his fault.”

Then, once you have stopped laughing, Baekhyun leans in close, face centimeters from yours and evidently stealing all the air from your lungs. God, he sure is beautiful. “This means you’ll go out with me, right?” He whispers, wiping away a sprinkle that has managed to stick itself to the corner of your lips.

“I thought you were going to play New Horizons when you got home?” You tease, raising one arm to sling across his shoulders. Groaning, he finally cups your face in his hands, strawberry pink lips ever so slightly brushing yours as his smirk deepens. “I am, but you can come watch.”

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splendidshinobi · 3 years

Text

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 6-10

back at it again with the white vans

episode 6: the alchemy exam

alrighty then

um mustang calling edward “ed” is EXTREMELY offputting

ohhhhhhh noooooo not shou tucker

FUCK

im wholly unprepared

them all being in central instead of east is low key jarring like my brain isnt computing it

alexander’s intro is basically the same

nina bbyyyyy girl u deserved so much better

ed is such a fucking nerd...chemistry club modern au confirmed

god the more tucker talks the more i wanna beat his face in

al pretending to eat by tossing a potato in his armor i-

aww theyre playing in the snow theyre so pure

wonder how long thatll last

“bigger brother” and “little big brother” and ed doesnt even get mad

ed’s birthday party????????

A MELON? ED YOURE SO RUDE

so 03 had ed’s bday instead of elicia’s...CAUSE THEY GOT ELICIA IN THE WOMB

“it’s here!” “the tea?” “the baby!” hughes is a fuck head

ok so now they’re having elicia replace rush valley baby arc

this was winry’s time to shine in fmab i miss her

if winry isnt here who is gonna birth this baby

oh my god they just realized ed can use alchemy without a circle

no wonder he’s been using circles this whole time

SO ELICIA JUST POPPED OUT????? WHAT

STUFF ALEXANDER IN THE ARMOR AND PRETEND YOURE A TALKING DOG???

“i dont think thats very funny” NO ALPHONSE IT IS NOT

THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

damn bradley what up homie

im so thrown off by the way theyre doing the exam omg

seriously what the hell is fuhrer bradley’s purpose right now is he even the fuhrer in this i feel like they wouldve mentioned it

oh lord ed is about to impress everyone with his clappy hands

ok so next episode is nina FUCK

episode 7: night of the chimera’s cry

havoc babeeee

im gonna marry him my himbo king

also can RIZA DO SOMETHING PLZ

“huhhhhhhhh nina” ew tucker that was weirdly gross

wonder why

cant do it cant do it

do we think jean kirstein was modeled after jean havoc slightly looks wise

was that purposeful

ill have to google

serial killer who only targets women? it cant be scar...scar drinks respect women juice

barry or slicer bros maybe? um ok

why did we start with liore if they were just gonna hop right back into the past for a huge chunk of episodes idk

assessment day??? oh noodles

AL WHY DID YOU TELL TUCKER TO MAKE ANOTHER TALKING CHIMERA ALPHONSE NO

THE NOISE I EMITTED IM GONNA TAKE A LAP

im gonna FUCKING SCREAM

ed r u writing to winry??? that’s a bit out of character for u good sir

no tucker put that baby down

im gonna fucking SCREAM

aww he burned nina’s picture thats not sus at all

SHESKA!!!!!

wait does the ironblood alchemist know what tucker did to his wife? thats kinda the vibe im getting

SCARRRRRRRR

looking like a pirate too damn

his voice sounds different is that j michael tatum

apparently not it was dameon clarke in 03 ya learn something new everyday

ew elicia has a lot of hair for a FUCKING NEWBORN

ed really is such a cynic very suspicious of everyone as he should be really

basque grand knowS SOMETHING

oh jesus oh fuck oh god please do not TOUCH THAT BABY

ed and al snuck back in to the house well u know what its for the best

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

im gonna cry again please god no

FUCKING DIE SHIT HOLE

she’s hurting? oh my god

my sweet angel

ew his eyes!!!!!!!

tucker is such a fucking failure...like look at the chimera squad and greed’s theatre troupe being the way they are. ugh it really hits how fucking unfair it is

ed was really about to split them? boy you know better

where is nina going...im hurting

ed really tried to save her in this one

SCAR KILLS NINA IN THE STREETS???????? SIR

thats different

oh snap

oh FUCK

SCAR WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER BODY LIKE THAT

THE WAY SHE WAS ARRANGED ON THE WALL THAT WAS FUCKED UP

AND THEY FOUND HER LIKE THAT???? AT LEAST IN BROTHERHOOD THEY DIDNT HVE TO SEE HER CORPSE ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

that was fucked.

episode 8: the philosopher’s stone

can yall get ed and al away from nina’s fucking MURAL

get out of the car mustang

finally jesus christ

roy mustang talking about healthy coping mechanisms dont make me laugh but alright baby boy go off i guess?

im curious about who this goddamn serial killer is though lets turn to that plot thread

r u kidding me

mustang is making ed and al take over tucker’s research?? thats actually wildly messed up

oh tucker was straight executed that’s a choice i guess

tucker and the philosopher’s stone sounds inaccurate but ok

ed please stop being mean to your brother

03 mustang has got me reaching for a fucking baseball bat on GOD

scar and edward having this conversation right now i literally cannot

WINRY yes bitch

BRADLEY WHAT IN TARNATION

JESUS LORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD

alphonse shut your mouthhhhhhhhhhh

im so confused what is bradley up to

“alchemists are not cold blooded murderers?”

i mean

kimblee would beg to differ for one

whos this creepy lady

her voice sounds familiar

barry’s food shop?

the killer is barry ok got it

IS BARRY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN

I KNEW THAT WAS JERRY JEWELL’S VOICE

WELL I KNEW IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AT LEAST

WINRY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TRUCk

has PINAKO TAUGHT YOU NOTHING

ok so i VASTLY prefer suit of armor original manga canon barry

this is such an odd plot what in fuck

um OW the meat cleaver

im so confused this fucking plotline

oh hey alphonse nice of you to show up!

is barry still gonna become a suit of armor later on

it makes NO SENSE to introduce him otherwise

everytime i see 03 mustang i wanna beat his ass HONESTLY

literally i will shove my foot up his ass

fullmetal here we go

ed thinks he’s so punk rock

oh great scar’s seen the watch

episode 9: be thou for the people

ed you simp buying winry all this stuff my edwin heart is ascending

SIMP SIMP SIMP

“mr. elric”?? you mean MAJOR ELRIC

to be fair though fuck the military

YOUSWELL??? oh LORD

im gonna need to read a full chronology of this show

alphonse continues to be a precious angel

where’s my boy yoki!!!!!

edward you idiot don’t go flaunting your money

woof woof ed

al looks so offended by ed saying they just met

whereas in brotherhood didnt he totally throw ed under the bus???

a choice to be sure

ah there he is hello yoki

who’s the chick

shes a lesbian

yoki makes me miss my baby girl mei chang

mei where r u

WAS THIS MILITARY DUDE REALLY ABOUT TO CUT DOWN A CHILD??? oh my god

hawkeye getting a promotion yes bby girl

jesus theyre transferring them to east now OKKKKKAY thats not how it happened it the book but ill take it....just doing it the opposite way i guess

who is lyra who is she

cute some military bribery

umm lyra what the fuck did you do

lyra is a homunculus im callin it now

they definitely invented/changed up some homunculi in fact im certain they did and shes one of em. gotta be

i feel like 03 wrote ed as much more insensitive towards others than he really is...just a vibe im getting

i know he was faking for the townspeople’s sake but i still get this vibe from other instances

i mean i cant say its not “canon” because its 03 canon

anyways what a show off

i cant believe theyre going to east...fuery and breda better be there

ok finally some answers on their ages....ed got his license at 12 like normal and nina and youswell were when he was 12...liore was 15,

if they didnt flash the ages on the screen id be lost honestly

at least we’re back up to “present day”

episode 10: the phantom thief

ed saying he doesnt wanna see mustang

same

03 mustang is activating my fight or flight and im choosing fight

ed cheating at cards totally checks out

um who the fuck is this woman

what is she wearing

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT CUTOUT MAAM HOW DO YOUR C**CHY LIPS NOT POKE OUT

idk but this is fem!hisoka

“hey shouldnt we talk first” after getting handcuffed??? christ almighty these innuendos

siren??????? siren is probably also a “fake” homunculus

ugh

ok so the nurse is siren

ya aint slick girly

alphonse control your crush

I REFUSE!!!! ALMEI RIGHTS

why is al’s hair so brown in this flashback anywayssss

oh its spelled psiren ope

like she’s literally a batman villain...

oh my god...............the tiddy grab. my son would never

my son is respectful

is this her homunculus tat or just a random alchemy tat

the added plotlines and original content continue to confuse and astound me every single time....

ok but if psiren really was doing this for the hospital she wouldnt be so flashy about it. like thats how you get caught sweet cheeks

girly stop flirting with this child on god im gonna fucking kick you

now shes a nun????????????????

Shes a fucking troll i hate her

im going to kick alphonse into the sun

oh great now shes a teacher

wow shes a savior. the savior of amestrian venice. greatttttt

ed looking exactly like this emoji on this gondola rn 🧍‍♀️

STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CHILD

GOD THIS IS SO BATMAN VILLAIN ESQUE

alphonse plzzzzzzzzzz she aint your girl

ok so probably not the last we see of this ding dong con artist

ok so its starting to get muddy. im scared the 03 stans are gonna come after me like i do like it and im having fun watching it but some of the plot and characterization choices are just....odd??? idk i gotta keep going though!! im sorry i just stan arakawa and her work in all her glory!!!

#carol watches fma03 #fullmetal alchemist #carol's remaining brain cells #this is fun for me and no one else #whatever i dont care about anyone else on this website anyway #this is my stupid hole

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gwenbrightly · 4 years

Text

Nya Wins an All Expense Paid Trip to the Hospital (and gives everyone else a heart attack) - Of Milk and Cookies Chapter 16

Crossposted from ffnet. Someone once requested I write about post tomorrow’s tea Lloyd comforting a hurt Nya, and this was the result of that suggestion. Please enjoy what is probably the most relatable thing I’ve written so far:

Nya glared at the stack of worksheets in front of her as though it would magically grade them for her. After the day she’d had, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know if any of her students had bothered to learn anything. Sneaking off to her room to curl up into a ball with her heat pad and sleep sounded much more appealing.

“C’mon Aaron,” she muttered as she examined the paper at the top of the stack, only to discover that the student in question had dotted his eyes with hearts in a very uncharacteristic way, “if you’re gonna copy off of Sally, at least be subtle about it.”

They’d have to have another discussion about the evils of cheating. Not that it would do any good. Before meeting the students that currently roamed the halls of Master Wu’s Academy, Nya and the others had occasionally referred to Lloyd as demon spawn. But now? He was more like an angel compared to the hooligans she was expected to put up with each and every day. She sighed and set the worksheet aside to deal with later. The next one was no better; it was covered with doodles of wine glasses.

“Really, Megan? Again?”

These children almost made her wish she were old enough to drink actual wine. Maybe it would help with the headache grading these worksheets was giving her. And the stabbing pain that had been plaguing her side since early that morning. She was going to have to find some midol, soon, if it didn’t let up. It had been difficult to survive a full day of teaching like this. And the worst part was that none of her usual strategies for dealing with cramps seemed to be helping.

“Nya?” someone called as they knocked on the door to her classroom. She got up from her desk, grimacing as pain shot through her side once again.

“I’m coming!” she called back. Nya opened the door to find her brother waiting outside.

“Heya, sis. Just wanted to check in on you. Jay said you skipped out on your lunch date earlier…” Kai explained with a quizzical expression.

“Of course he did.” she said in annoyance. He frowned.

“Everything okay between you?” he asked after a moment.

“Just peachy.” she replied through gritted teeth. Why couldn’t Jay keep his mouth shut?

“Nya… are you sure you’re okay?” Kai pressed, “It’s not like you to skip meals…”

“I’m just… tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night and it’s been a long day. That’s all.” she told him, doing her best to shoot him a weak smile. There was no need to worry him by mentioning her abnormally bad stomach pain. Everyone would make a huge fuss and all she really wanted was some peace and quiet.

“It’s almost dinner time. Why don’t you take a break from grading and come grab a bite to eat? You’re looking a little pale.” suggested Kai. He looked at her searchingly, still not completely convinced she was alright.

“Okay. I guess that would probably be a good idea.” Nya agreed. Maybe some food would help her feel better. She hadn’t had anything to eat other than the granola bar she’d choked down at breakfast; lunch had been forgone in favor of a nap that had ultimately done absolutely nothing to improve her state. She followed Kai down the hall that lead to the cafeteria, doing her best to distract herself by telling him about Aaron’s latest attempt at cheating.

“Don’t take it too personally, sis,” Kai told her supportively, “these kids are really rough around the edges. It’s hard to teach someone who flat out doesn’t wanna learn anything.”

“I know. I just wish they’d listen to me better.” Nya commented, pushing the door to the cafeteria open. A wave of nausea hit her as she stepped inside. The smell was too much for her. She swayed uncertainly for a moment before shaking it off and heading over to the counter where the food was served. Kai, who was waving to a few of their more tolerable students, didn’t seem to notice. They each grabbed a plate and piled it with macaroni and cheese along with freshly steamed broccoli before slipping off to the teacher’s lounge so they could eat in peace.

“I’m telling you, the kid’s a psychopath in the making. Something about him is not normal.” Jay was insisting when they arrived.

“I can’t argue with you, there, but at least he doesn’t think you’re boring,” Cole countered, “if he decides to kill all of us in our sleep, he’ll probably come after me first.”

“Well, this is a great conversation to walk into.” Kai commented with a wry grin.

“Hello!” Zane greeted brightly.

“We’re commiserating over Finn again, I see.” Nya observed, delicately seating herself on an unoccupied couch. It was a relief to sit down again.

“Yup.” Cole confirmed.

“What did he do this time?” she asked. She took a small bite of her food as Jay launched into his overzealous storytelling, but regretted it almost instantly. Her stomach rebelled and she felt another wave of pain wrack her body. What was wrong with her? Was this what dying felt like? She set her plate aside and curled into herself. The room was suddenly too hot, the sound of the others talking too loud. She felt like she was on the verge of throwing up.

“Nya? You’re not looking so good…” Jay’s voice floated through her pain filled haze.

“It’s j-just girl issues…” she gasped out, “please just let me die in peace…”

The others exchanged worried looks. Zane came over and put a hand to her forehead.

“A fever would not be consistent with ‘girl problems’ as you put it.” he told her.

“Fever?” she repeated. This was news to her. He nodded, saying,

“Your temperature is currently 101.4 degrees Fahrenheit.”

“Oh.”

“Nya, are you able to hop on one foot?” the nindroid asked. Nya glared at him in confusion.

“What? Why would you ask that? It’s stupid! You’re stupid.”

She paused when she realized what she’d just said.

“Oh, Zane, I’m sorry… that wasn’t-”

“Please try. I promise there’s a good reason for this.” Zane insisted. She stared at him without responding for a moment. Trying to do as he suggested was only going to make things worse. He stared back, unrelenting, as if he knew something she didn’t. Finally, Nya gave in and pushed herself up with great effort. Still not fully buying into whatever Zane was pulling, she gave a half-hearted attempt at hopping on her right foot.

“I can’t,” she cried agonizedly, collapsing back onto the couch, “fsm it hurts…”

Zane didn’t seem surprised by this revelation.

“I believe it would be wise to get you to the hospital. Your appendix appears to be on the verge of rupturing.” he announced. For the first time in a long time, Nya heard her brother swear loudly.

*-*-*-*-*

Epic Ninja Family Group Chat

Jay: Hey, Greenie! Just wanted to let you know that we’re taking Nya to the HOSPITAL!!!!

Jay: She’s in SURGERY now.

Jay: Pick up your hecking phone, man.

Jay: This is getting ridiculous… where ARE you???????

Jay: L l o y d

Jay:??????

*-*-*-*-*-*

Lloyd reread the series of text messages Jay had sent him for what must have been at least the 15th time. It was clear the master of lightning had panicked when he didn’t immediately respond. Or, more likely, had panicked more. Not that Lloyd could blame him. The fact that he was the only one who had been invited to go on this victory tour already hurt enough without the added guilt of not being there for his family when they needed him. He’d been attending a ceremony in a town he had never heard of before when Jay had first started texting him. He hadn’t even heard his phone go off, hadn’t seen the messages until much later. Of course, he had immediately summoned his golden dragon and headed for Ninjago City when he did see them, but that didn’t change the fact that he should’ve been there all along. So he did what any reasonable person would do and stopped for something with which to bribe-and-or cheer up his siblings with before heading to the hospital itself.

The cashier of the little gas station Lloyd had stopped at finished ringing up his purchase with a yawn. The green ninja pocketed his phone and paid for the assortment of candy and frosted sugar cookies, along with the little stuffed narwhal he couldn’t bear to leave behind, wondering if Kai was ever going to get back to him with more details. The radio silence was a bit concerning; he wanted to know what to expect before he arrived at the hospital. If things were bad as bad as Jay made them out to be, if Nya was dying or something… but surely he was just being overdramatic… right? His pocket buzzed as he stepped out onto the empty sidewalk. A lone car drove by. A cat meowed in the distance. Lloyd glanced at his phone once more, unable to handle the suspense.

Kai: She’s out of surgery and recovering now. Visiting hours are over, but I’m sure she’d love to see you. Rm 246. Eastern wing.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the message. Nya wasn’t dead after all. That was promising. Now he just had to find his way to the hospital. According to the GPS app on his phone, it shouldn’t be more than a few minutes away. Lloyd summoned his golden dragon and shot into the sky once more. It was much easier to navigate when one could simply fly over the houses and buildings that lined the streets of the city. He flew towards the hospital, his phone blaring warnings at him as it tried to keep up with his unusual route. Make a U-turn when possible, it beeped every so often. But he ignored it. Soon, his destination loomed in the distance.

Lloyd circled the building until he was on the correct side. Kai hadn’t given him any suggestions on how exactly he was supposed to get inside without the nursing staff kicking him out. Even the Green Ninja would be expected to adhere to hospital regulations. Had he assumed that Lloyd would just sneak in somehow? He absent-mindedly scanned the windows of the hospital while he tried to decide what to do next. And then he saw it; someone had taped what appeared to be a green piece of paper onto one of the panes. Kai did want him to sneak in, apparently. He flew closer so that he could examine the window more carefully. It was cracked open slightly. Shaking his head at his brother’s questionable plan, Lloyd opened the window the rest of the way. Being that it was some time after 11:00, the hospital room was pitch black. He stumbled as he climbed inside, unable to see clearly.

“Well, now… which of my idiot siblings decided to add breaking and entering to their list of crimes against humanity?” Lloyd heard Nya murmur sleepily. He froze.

“It’s um, Lloyd.” he replied. There was a small click and a dim light turned on.

“Lloyd? What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be off on your victory tour…” she began to protest, now that she could see that the intruder was in fact who he said he was. “Did Kai put you up to this?”

“In his defense, there’s no way to prove that window was left open intentionally.” Lloyd pointed out, with a small smile. He made his way over to her bed and sat in the empty chair next to it. She rolled her eyes, but returned his smile with a tired one of her own.

“It is good to see you.” Nya admitted, raising an eyebrow as she glanced at the grocery bags he was sporting.

“It’s good to see you, too. Oh, here. Got something for you!” he pulled out the stuffed narwhal and set it on the bed next to her.

“You know, you might just be my favorite person ever.” Nya decided, examining it. She hugged it close, looking years younger than she actually was.

“You mean I wasn’t already?” Lloyd pretended to be offended. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” she retorted with a laugh. Although she was clearly trying to hide it, he couldn’t help but notice her wincing as she did so.

“So, what happened?” he asked eventually, “I had my phone on silent for a few hours and when I finally had a chance to check it, Jay was acting like you were dying…”

“Ehhh turns out that it wasn’t super bad cramps that had been bugging me all day; it was appendicitis,” stated Nya, sounding as though she were tired of having to explain this, “Everyone overreacted. I’m fine, I swear. It’s not a big deal-”

“Not a big deal, huh? You scare me sometimes, Nya.” Lloyd muttered. He shook his head in bemusement.

“Hm?”

“I don’t think anyone else could be in that much pain and think ‘yeah, this is fine’.” he explained, wondering how on earth she had lasted more than a few hours before finally succumbing to the pain.

“Says the boy who walked off a broken leg.” she said pointedly.

“That’s different. I only did that because I was more worried about how I was going to fight my father.” he reminded her. There really hadn’t been another option. Well, aside from giving up and dying, he supposed. Nya didn’t seem to think this was a very convincing argument.

“And I was more worried about getting today’s worksheets graded so I could figure out how to put the kibosh on all the cheating that’s been happening lately.” she told him without missing a beat. Lloyd raised an eyebrow and asked,

“That bad?”

Nya nodded and made a face.

“Honestly. And if it’s not cheating, it’s weird drawings. Oh, if I was gonna be the first member of the group to be hospitalized, why count it have been for something exciting?” she complained. He chose not to point out that her definition of exciting probably differed from most other people’s. Or that there had been plenty of times that Kai, Jay, and even Cole should have ended up in the hospital, but didn’t.

“For the record, when we agreed to having lots of adventures, this isn’t what I pictured.” Lloyd offered wryly. He thought back to his first night on the Destiny’s Bounty. Things had been so different, then. Neither of them had known what the future held.

“Well, it’s good to know you haven’t been plotting against me this whole time.” teased Nya, biting back a yawn. He could tell her energy was beginning to wane.

“Maybe I should let you sleep… sounds like it’s been a really long day for you.” he suggested. Now that he knew she was okay, he wanted her to stay that way. And that meant cutting their reunion short so she could get some rest.

“Unfortunately, you’re right… It definitely has,” she agreed, “But Lloyd? Thank you. For coming. I’ve missed you.”

“Of course, Nya. It turns out traveling around Ninjago like this gets pretty lonely after awhile...” said Lloyd, wishing he’d been able to visit sooner. He missed being able to see his family whenever he wanted. Missed being a part of the action. Nya nodded sagely.

“I’m sure it does. You got a place to stay, or should we call Kai to come pick you up?”

“Let’s call Kai. I… didn’t exactly plan out what was gonna happen after I got here.” he admitted. He pulled out his phone.

“I guess you don’t know how long you’re staying, then?” she asked, seeming a little disappointed. Lloyd shrugged. Oh, how he wanted to give up his victory tour and stay as long as he liked. But somehow, he doubted his uncle or the people of Ninjago would think very highly of him evading his commitments like that.

“I dunno. I guess it couldn’t hurt to stay a few days. Just to make sure you’re okay?” he answered after a moments consideration. It would take a bunch of phone calls and rearranging of his schedule tomorrow morning, but it was doable. After all, now that he was here, there was no point in leaving too quickly. Staying the weekend would give him plenty of time catch up with Kai and the others. The more he thought about his decision, the more certain Lloyd became that it was the right call. The feeling of homesickness he’d been fighting since leaving his family was already beginning to fade away as he realized just how badly he’d needed to be home again.

#ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #myfics #Of Milk and Cookies #in which Nya gets appendicitus and ends up in the hospital #no one will tell Lloyd what's going on #semi legal actions are taken #Appendicitis can be mistaken for period cramps ig?#idk where I was going with this but it was fun!#nya #lloyd #zane's almost a doctor in this one

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c0untb00z · 4 years

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I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.

First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.

However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.

So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.

I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.

To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.

However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.

Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.

The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.

Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.

Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america

Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.

Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:

Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.

Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM

And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING

anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life

#vampire #dracula #dracula2020 #bbc dracula #bbc dracula 2020 #3 am essays cause im pissed #dracula bram stoker #bram stoker #draculaxreader apparnetly

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amanda-fior · 6 years

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I shared my personal mental health story with my vet class

I shared my very personal story with my classmates for R U OK day in our private facebook group and I received so much love and support. This is a copy of my post:

Today was R U OK day. I thought I would take this opportunity to talk about my recent experience with mental health and trying to find help. Sorry in advance for rambling. Also, just a warning that this is a pretty full on post. I just want to share it because mental health is something that most vets and vet students will struggle with at some point. It is important to know that you’re not alone and to speak up if you think it might help someone.

A few months ago, I had suicide ideations. I knew I had to go to the hospital to remain safe. Starting that conversation with my mum was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I have attempted suicide in the past and my partner at the time convinced me to tell my mum, who reacted very badly. She didn’t understand depression or anything like that at the time and her mind went straight to my brother who died when I was younger. He had been in a car accident and spent his 19th birthday on life support before it was switched off. My suicide attempt brought all that back for my mum and she yelled, “How DARE you?! Your brother fought as hard as he could for his life and you just want to throw yours away?!”

The second reason I was scared to get help, was the way the mental health nurse in Armidale treated me last time. She did not appear to care at all and clearly didn’t believe me when she asked if I had been sexually assaulted as a child. She asked me that same question several times and then made a face when she finally wrote my answer (”no”) on her clipboard.

Thankfully, this time my mum and the hospital staff were much more supportive.

I was admitted to the low care mental health unit, which is a locked ward. It is a secure and safe place but it did nothing to actually help me mentally.

The first thing that I was required to do, was very confronting. The mental health nurse that I was assigned to, along with a student nurse, led me into a conference room to meet with the psychiatrist. There was also a psychiatrist registrar and 2 other students in the room. 6 strangers. We sat in a semi circle and everyone looked at me. I couldn’t make eye contact but I knew some people had their hands posed, ready to write or type. The psychiatrist asked me why I was there. I thought it was pretty damn obvious why I was there. I had already been interviewed by about 5 nurses who kept repeating the same questions. Surely someone had passed along the message. I mumbled that I wanted to hurt myself.

“Yes. And when you say you want to hurt yourself, what do you mean exactly?”

I told them that I wanted to end my life. He still wasn’t satisfied. He wanted to know all of the details. How. With what. When. How far into my plan had I got? So I tried my best to answer his questions while my answers got scribbled and typed down.

After that, I assumed I would be bombarded with help. Pamphlets for programs, mental health workers, counsellors, support programs, group therapy, art therapy.... but there was none of that.

The psychiatrist told me he would increase the dose of my anti-depressants to see if it made a difference. My nurse and the student nurse took me to my room. I had been scanned by a metal detector and had my phone taken away when I arrived. Everything was secured into place to prevent us from hurting ourselves. No electrical items were allowed inside. No shoelaces. No belts. No aerosols. We weren’t even allowed to keep shampoo in our rooms. There was hot water for de-caffinated tea. A sandwich press was brought out at breakfast for making toast and then locked away again.

My nurse asked if I was anxious (lol) and gave me some pills. I didn’t ask what they were. I went to sleep until someone woke me for dinner. I had a new nurse. Another consumer (that’s what they call patients in the ward, consumers) gave me a whirl-wind tour of the facility, not that I can even remember what her voice sounded like, I was too out of it. But I did learn that there is a whiteboard in the nurses station that has our room number, name and our nurses name on it. There were about 4 nurses on at a time and we had to go to them for every little thing. But they changed shift regularly, so if you had to arrange something like a CSU medical certificate, it was hard because once you got somewhere with the last nurse, you had to explain the whole thing over again to the new nurse.

They checked on us every hour. All through the night. It wasn’t very dark in my room but each hour a blast of fluorescent light invaded for a few moments, disrupting whatever sleep I had managed to find. The night staff started at 10pm and from then on, you could get sleeping pills. They helped a little.

I was woken early the next morning by a nurse who seemed to be running behind schedule. She didn’t wait for my eyes to adjust to the light, let alone for my brain to remember where I was before rolling down my sleeve.

“Just taking some blood,” she explained hastily.

“Oh, I had bloods taken yesterday.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” she replied, ripping the tiny, circular band-aid off.

Each morning, we were woken at 7 for breakfast, medication and we had our temperature and blood pressure measured. I don’t know what their obsession was with blood pressure but mine was measured several times each day. After breakfast, there was nothing to do. We could watch TV, colour-in (if we asked our nurse to get us the pencils etc) or we could pace the hallway. I just went back to bed and reassured the nurses each hour that I wasn’t dead. Eventually, it would be time for me to see my psychiatrist registrar. This was the only mental health care we received. He would ask how I was feeling, enquire about my appetite (nil), sleep (disrupted) and asked if I felt safe in the ward (I still don’t know if he meant safe from myself or from the other consumers but I just said yes each time).

On my first morning, my nurse brought me a bunch of paperwork to sign. She explained that I was an involuntary patient. Two days later, I told my brother that I still had no idea what I was supposed to DO in the ward. There was no stimulation whatsoever. It was just me and my own mind. And the nurses kept asking if I was hearing voices so many times that I actually started to question myself. My brother, who had been visiting me daily, asked my nurse how long I was going to be there. She explained that my psychiatrist would review me in a week. A week!!! A different psychiatrist comes each weekday (from Sydney or Melbourne) and the psychiatrist registrars communicate with them throughout the week. The registrar can grant leave for an hour each day but only once you’re a voluntary patient. Only the registered psychiatrist can formally discharge consumers.

The days dragged on after that. I was made a voluntary patient a few days later and the nurse brought me my new paperwork to sign. It turned out that the only real difference between voluntary and involuntary was that they could no longer give me ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) without my consent. So that was a plus. And yeah, they still do that. But it’s now done under anaesthetic. My ex used to complain about all the old people who get it done because their heart rates would suddenly shoot up dangerously high and sometimes it caused strokes.

The psychiatrist registrar asked how I felt about the prospect of returning home. I told him that I didn’t really care where I was but my family wanted me to have a plan and ongoing support. I also wanted to be connected with a counsellor or psychologist before I went home. The registrar and the nurses told me all of that would be arranged before I left.

But it wasn’t. I was discharged the day before my psych was due to see me and it all happened really quickly. I suspect it had more to do with the number of beds rather than an actual improvement in my mental health. Nothing had actually been done in the week I was there except for an increase in my anti-depressant dose. But I was so overwhelmed at the thought of being able to walk more than 10m without turning around and getting to see my animals that I didn’t think to ask about the support I had been promised.

They did put me in contact with a community health worker. I saw her once a week and she asked how I was sleeping, appetite, whether I had self-harmed etc. I told her that I wanted to see a psychologist and she said that was a great idea. She didn’t offer any further assistance. When I questioned her about it at our next meeting, she said that I needed to talk to my GP about getting a mental health plan. Her tone sounded impatient, as if I should have known that already. I started to get angry with the whole system. It had been three weeks since I had walked into the hospital and told them I wanted to kill myself and it still seemed so hard to access any help.

Two days later, I attempted suicide.

This time, I actually tried the method Leigh Ladd mentioned in class the other day - diazepam and alcohol. I had planned to get into the backyard swimming pool for good measure, but I didn’t make it that far. I actually felt validated for the first time when Leigh Ladd talked about this in class. Until then, all of the medical professionals had scoffed at my method and made remarks like, “Ha, that was never going to work. You could take 2000mg of valium and all you’d do is fall asleep.”

Maybe they were ignoring the fact that mixing it with a lot of alcohol depresses your respiratory system, maybe they didn’t hear the part about the swimming pool or maybe they were just trying to talk me out of trying it again, but it just made me feel like a complete idiot.

I woke up in the emergency room, crying and hugging my sister. My memory is very patchy due to the benzodiazepine-induced retrograde amnesia. I had a big bandage on my wrist from where I had self harmed. I don’t remember doing that but I think it was to distract myself from the mental pain during my attempt. My sister later told me that her and my mum had to leave the room when the doctor sutured my arm. Apparently, they didn’t give me any local before suturing it and I was screaming in pain for them to stop. I’m glad I don’t remember that at all.

I was taken back to the low dependency unit and back talking to a psychiatrist. This time, it was a woman. I expected to be spending another week in the unit but one of the first things this psych asked me was about going home. Apparently they didn’t want to “institutionalise” me. I spent just 2 days in the ward.

My family were looking into any and all kinds of programs for me to get help. I asked the registrar psychiatrist about any recommendations. He said there were programs but they were expensive if you don’t have private health insurance. He didn’t elaborate. A nurse signed my family up for some carers help program. They also referred me to a program called Wellways, which is about suicide prevention. Turns out that the only people who can be referred are those who have actually attempted suicide, not just thought about it, which is why I hadn’t been eligible before.

I was eligible for help from Wellways for 3 months. They could refer me to further help if I needed financial counselling, emergency accommodation and things like that. But not counselling or anything.The lady who I dealt with only worked 2-3 days a week and I didn’t find the program helpful at all.

My family were disgusted with the lack of help I got. My sister talked to some people at her work (in community health) and gave me the names of 2 private psychiatrists. I saw my GP and arranged referrals but they were booked out for months. One of them was finally able to fit me in earlier after I pleaded with the receptionist. It cost $800 for the appointment (I could reclaim some of that on medicare but I’m forever grateful that my family were able to lend me money). I wasn’t impressed with what I got for my $800. He asked why I was there. I told him my story and he asked why I had attempted suicide. I told him that I didn’t want to live anymore (it rolls off the tongue more easily the more you say it) but again, he asked why. Every answer I gave him, he said, “But why?”

I left with a script for a new medication that was supposed to help me sleep but has actually given me nightmares and made my sleep pattern worse. It’s also not on the PBS and costs a lot of money so I’m weaning myself back off it. When I told the community health worker about seeing the psychiatrist, she seemed annoyed that I had gone behind her back to get help and told me that there were community health psychiatrists who are very good at what they do. She asked me to get the private psych to forward her his notes. I would have gladly seen a free or cheaper psychiatrist but that was the first (and last) that she mentioned their existence. I again told her that I wanted to be connected with a psychologist and she basically told me to keep her in the loop if I make any more appointments.

I went back to my GP and asked for a referral to a psychologist. But when I rang to book an appointment with the one he recommended, the receptionist told me they no longer work there. They booked me in to see someone else. I was just happy that I was finally going to see someone who might actually help. I have seen her 3 times now and she is really lovely. I complained to her about my GP (I left those details out of this post because it’s already too long!!) and she gave me the name of another doctor that I have started to see. This new doctor is much more understanding and has been doing further tests to see if I have any underlying health problems. I’m now getting cosmetic injections to improve the appearance of the scars on my wrist, I’m getting an iron infusion for my anaemia and she is helping me combat my anxiety as well.

This is the first time in months that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m finally working with a psychologist and I’m willing to try anything. Over the summer, I’m hoping to do an 8 week recovery program. I’m also hoping to do some equine therapy in the future. The most important thing for me, is that people are finally listening.

I’m sorry that this is so long (and a bit confronting) but I didn’t want to censor it. I want people to know how hard it can be to get help. There are so many ads on the TV etc about getting help for depression but I swear most of their money must go into advertising and paying admin because finding actual help was so much harder than I would have imagined. I want people to know how long this road is - because one day you will probably have to be there for a friend, family member or yourself - and it’s not just a matter of making one phone call or having one conversation. It’s an ongoing process and it’s difficult. Some people who work in mental health are complete dicks and they just don’t get it.

Don’t be scared about saying the wrong thing to a friend/family member. I don’t remember what my friends/family said to me - I just remember that they were there. That was the big thing, having my family supporting me and forcing me to keep seeking help even though I wanted to give up.

Please be there for your loved ones. And please feel free to come talk to me, even if we have never spoken before. Struggling with mental health isn’t something that I’m ashamed of (anymore). Hopefully sharing my story might help someone else, somehow.

I received so many private messages from people who shared their own stories and offered support. These were the comments left on my post:

I'm a shy person and did not expect that kind of response. It is amazing how many people really do care and are more than willing to offer support ❤❤❤

#support #mental health #personal #tw #cw #tw: suicide #tw: self harm #self harm #suicide #R U ok day

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harveyb-wabbit92 · 6 years

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Ivy’s new friend pt. 1

Warning this chapter covers the sensitive topic of Child abuse. You have been warned!

Takes place when Ivy is 10 she'd been living with Cayde for two months.

Ivy fidgeted as she stood in front of the class, feeling the stares of multiple eyes on her as the teacher introduced her. Why couldn't she stay in the tower?... she thought to herself she was home schooled before this!

why did Cayde think this was a good idea? Her mind briefly played over what her uncle had said two weeks ago at breakfast "I'm not gonna be home enough to be able to teach you anything...beside it's close to the tower and in a nice sector! Trust me you'll like it."

The ravenette mentally cringed as she was brought back to reality as the teacher called her name. "Well Ivy introduce yourself." She said resting a hand on the girl's shoulder, the green eyed girl shrugged it off giving the teacher a paranoid look before turning to the class.

"Um...I'm Ivy Kib that's all..." she said scanning the room for a place to sit or a least a way out. The teacher was taken aback at the girl's standoffish behavior.

"Surely you have more to say than that?"

"I Don't...And my names not Shirley."

"I...Excuse me/!"

"You're excused"

Ivy deadpanned the teacher's face turned red as she stepped out, While the girl scanned the room before finding a seat next to a boy sitting in the back, She mentally cheered as the class stared at the ravenette and whispered among themselves.

"Black hair and freckles?...whats she trying to pull?" a girl sneered,"Did you see how pissed Ms. Grunewald was?" another kid whispered while few kids huddled or blocked Ivy from sitting next to them, Before stopping at the boy's table "Ew...She sitting next to Lukas Pukas!~" a boy said mockingly with a grimace causing a few kids to snicker.

Ivy paid no mind while the boy next to her flushed in embarrassment, sinking into his seat just then the teacher walked back in calmer and somewhat unnerved "She must have informed of who my uncle...joy." Ivy thought to herself "w-Whose your un-u-uncle?" a quiet asked the ravenette blinked and turning to the boy next to her...had she said that out loud?

Lukas stared at his new seatmate expectantly; before the teacher cleared her throat demanding they pay attention. the two kids quieted down as she turned back to the board. "I'll tell you later." she whispered as the day wore on, It became apparent that Ivy wasn't looking for friends.

She had made a few bullies one of whom a boy dipped her hair in paint during art class, the same boy tripped her during gym, luckily Lukas was nice he helped wash out the paint during recess and took her to the nurse, She learned Lukas was two years younger then her and had skipped a grade.

The big stand off came after school when one of the boy cornered Lukas for helping the weirdo! Ivy stepped in shoved the boy who started bragging and acting high and mighty because his dad was a high ranking Titian. Ivy blinked showing no emotion"And?" She said unimpressed.

The boy snorted and ranted that she couldn't hit him! because his dad would beat hers, before roughly poking her."My dads dead." she deadpanned swatting his hand away a few kids awkwardly shifted as the boy snorted before poking her again "Heh... He must've been a stupid weakling-"

The boy was cut off by Ivy punching him in the nose there was crunch and the boy fell on his butt, for a few seconds he stared up at Ivy stunned that she actually hit him?!

He brought his hand up to his bloody and obviously broken nose; tears welled in his eyes "DDAADDDY!!" he wailed jumping to his feet running off the school grounds. The other kids just gawked at her "Y-Y-you hit Elroy b-b-Bo-Bowens!" Lukas stuttered terrified Ivy cocked a brow.

"Yeah,so?"

No one e-ever h-hits him! his d-dad would-"

"What hit a little girl?"

"N-no b-b-but"

Ivy brushed it off and went to grab her school bag the others gave her and Lukas a wide berth "Trust me I'll be fine." she said unlike Elroy she knew who her uncle was and what he did for living. But, you don't see her going around being a spoiled brat about it! if she needed Cayde's help she'd ask! The two walked in silence till the cross roads came up.

Ivy took left while Lukas paused and looked at his...acquaintance? "ww-wh-Where are you g-g-going the residential block is this w-way." he pointed down the road, The ravenette winced "I don't live in the civilian block." she said scratching the back of her head.

Lukas tilted his head befuddled as the older girl briefly glanced up his gray eyes followed her gaze and his jaw dropped "Y-you live in the t-tt-tower?" he stuttered Ivy nodded.

Lukas was floored families weren't allowed to lived allowed to live in the tower! even if one or both of the parents of said family were Guardians one would have to retire or the kids were sent to Foster or Latchkey! he shuddered at the last one "Is your m-mo-mom a guardian?" he asked curiously the girl shook her head "I don't have a mother...Just an uncle." she said gazing at her feet. the blond boy was even more curious.

"Y-you mentioned him, who i-is your uncle?" he asked before the girl could answer a voice cut in "Oh, you walked home yourself?" the two kids turned to the voice Lukas's eyes widened in awe as was Cayde-6 walking casually towards them. "I was just coming to get you." Exo said to Ivy patting her on the head the ravenette averted her gaze, When vanguard took notice of the little boy standing next to her.

Cayde stared stunned before leaning in close to the girl's ear "did..you make a friend?" he whispered causing his niece to blush too mortified answer, the blue exo straightened up a bit "What's your name kiddo?" he asked Lukas snapped out of his stupor and shift uneasily due to his speech impediment.

"M-m-my n-na-name is Luk--Lukkk-..."

{Lukas looks scared, Cayde notices a large bruise on the kid's shoulder just barely visible from under his shirt.]

"Take you time no ones forcing you."

{The boy seemed calmer, Cayde could see..was this kid wearing make-up? there was what looked like concealer on his left eye.}

" L-Lukas C-c-Chadwick."

"Well, it's good to meet you Lukas. and thanks for walking my niece home."

The boy blushed "I-i-It's n-not that!" he threw his hands up Cayde smirked "I just playing wit'ya!" the exo chirped and gave the kid a light pat on the shoulder, Lukas's smile tightened painfully which the hunter noticed as the kid backed away "I Sh-s-Should be heading h-H-home now, B-bbye Ivy!" he yelled running off to the civilian block.

Cayde smiled and waved back before frowning and turning to his niece. "Hey..." Ivy looked up at him as he took her hand led her back to the tower. "Did...Lukas seem odd?" he asked his niece looked offended. "Not the stutter thing...he seemed off...scared." Exo explained the ravenette thought the day over; Lukas seemed a bit too nice...but, nothing really stood out.

"Not really I only just met him." she said her uncle seemed uneasy before sighing "Just...keep an eye on him okay?" Ivy nodded as they made their way down the road a nasally voice broke the tension "That's her daddy! that’s the one who broke my nose!" Both Cayde and Ivy turned to see a smug little boy with a bandaged nose and a pissed off Titan marching up to them. "You little brat I'll-"

Cayde cleared his throat and the father's face drained of all color once he realized whose kid he was yelling at "You'll do what to my kid, exactly Guardian?" the exo optics narrowed "Caydeguard?! I mean Van-6! I duh.. um-guh" Elroy's father tried to sputter out words before turning to his son.

"Apologize Elroy!" he ordered his son's smirk contorted into confusion "b-But she hit me! I'm the hurt one me! she should apologize to me!" he whined stomping his foot, Cayde cringed expecting the kid to throw himself to the floor kicking and screaming! He then turned to his niece who just shook her head at the whole thing.

The vanguard so had to thank Kib for Ivy's realist and blunt personality, "Don't make me repeat myself boy." he father pressed the bratty kid muttered out an apology, while Cayde just stared at the duo "What's your name?" he asked Elroy's dad who started sweating "Jacob Bowens sir."

the hunter nodded "I'll be sure to put in a good word with Shaxx about you." Cayde said threatening edged in his voice that caused Elroy to hide behind his dad, Ivy's hand to tighten, as Jacob walked away scolding Elroy, stating that he might of just cost his dad a promotion! While Cayde turned to his niece.

"Mind telling me what that was about?"

"He dipped my hair in paint, tripped me in gym, tried to beat up Lukas...oh! and called my dad a weakling..."

"And then?"

"I cuffed em’ right in the nose."

Ivy huffed crossing her arms only yelped when she was suddenly hoisted up onto Cayde's shoulders "Screw the tower champ! We're gettin' Ramen!" He exclaimed surprising Ivy and everyone in the street "My girl won her first after school brawl! whoo!" He cheered running down the street! first since living with her uncle Ivy was smiling....

Meanwhile...

On the other side of the city Lukas had just returned home... not expecting anyone to be there that, was until he heard a cough and saw his dad calmly sitting his back to him. The blond swallowed hard and immediately went for his room! only to find the door stuck.

"It's locked...I knew that'd be the first place you'd go.." His dad said darkly before getting up from his chair and advancing on the shaking boy "P-p-pplease d-dad no"...the loud music blaring from the bar outside drowned out the screams...

To be continued...

#destiny oc #destiny #Cayde-6 #video games #fanfic #lord shaxx #destiny titan

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waywardsons-imagines · 7 years

Text

Things People Say

Writers - Admin Aingeal @aingealcethlenn & Admin Grace

Characters - Dean, Reader, Sam, Mary, Castiel

Pairing - Dean x Reader

Summary - She was the best hunter in the United States. They were the Winchesters. Dean is overprotective of her, and ends up pushing her away. What happens when she leaves and hunt on her own? What happens when he gets a call, in the middle of the night, because he was her emergency contact?

Word Count - 2,692

Warnings - Angst...Lots and lots of angst...Mild language, Mentions of injuries from an accident/hunt (reader is in hospital)... Mary Winchester is included in this, but no spoilers from any actual episodes. Doesn’t follow the episodes at all. (If you spot any other warnings I should add, please let me know so I can edit this post to include them!)

A/N -So..This was written for a challenge, and ended up getting away from me, and turned out WAAAYYYYYY longer than I first envisioned lol There WILL be a part 2 though (as long as people are interested)! So please let me know! And let me know if you wanna be tagged in it!!!

Story: -Reader POV-

It had been the same almost every hunt recently. Dean asking me to stay behind. Hold down the fort, help with research instead of with the battle. It was his way of keeping me safe. Making sure he wouldn’t lose me to some monster, or demon, or anything else out there.

When I met the Winchester brothers, they knew exactly who I was. In fact, the only hunter feared more than those two, was yours truly. I was meticulous, and dangerous, and loved every minute of my job. That never put the boys off though. No, instead, it only drove us closer. Especially Dean.

Lately though, it seemed every argument that we had, was surrounding my safety.

“We just don’t want anything to happen to you.” Dean said softly, trying to calm me down.

“I know how to take care of myself Dean! Damn it, I was the best damn hunter in the states! Now, just because I’m with you, suddenly it’s too dangerous for me to be out there?!”

“I just want you safe, Y/n. You have to know that.” He tried to reach out to me, but I took a step back.

“I do, Dean. But what I need, is to be out there killing all those things that go bump in the night. I can’t stay here doing research all the time.”

“I just..I..It’s..” Dean let out a quiet sigh. “We worry about you, okay. We..I lo-”

“I don’t want people worrying about me.” I interrupted him. “The more you focus on my safety, they more you put yourself at risk! And I could never forgive myself if I lost you because your dumbass was focused on me!”

“But I can’t lose you, Y/N! Don’t you understand that?!”

“If you keep trying to prohibit me like this Dean, you’ll end up losing me anyway.”

I didn’t need to be protected. I didn’t want to be protected. I missed being out on hunts, I missed the rush of adrenaline.

Hunting is all I know. It’s all I dream about, besides having a family some day with Dean of course, but we all know that can’t happen while we live the life of a hunter. This is our normal, this is our past, present and future. I want to hunt with Dean, but if he’s going to continue to be stubborn, then I’m going to have to do it on my own.

-Dean’s POV-

Our last fight was three weeks ago. I thought things were going okay, she was accepting my reason for keeping her safe at the bunker, rather than out on hunts with us.

I guess not.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs, I was begging her to stay.

“Baby, we can work this out. Please.”

“Dean-” She just shook my head. I could tell she wanted to say more, but couldn’t.

“What about all the plans that you’re leaving behind? That little white house by the railway line? You know, the one we picked out together? What about the promise you made me? To stay with me until you’re dying day? You swore you’d never leave! Or are those just things that people say? Huh?”

She didn’t utter a word. Instead, she simply placed a kiss on my cheek and walked up the stairs for what I could only imagine was the final time.

As I watched her walk out that door, I felt my chest tighten. It was getting hard to breathe.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to be together forever. Now, she’s out there chasing her dreams, and I’m standing here wondering where all this leaves me.

Two weeks passed. No word from Y/n. No call, no text saying she was okay, nothing. I’m not sure if I should be worried, or relieved. No news is good news right? Sammy keeps trying to get me to go out and hunt, says it will take my mind off things. How can I hunt monsters, when the monsters in my head are screaming at me?

Four weeks passed. Still nothing from Y/n. Cas stopped by the other day though, asked if I was doing okay. Not sure why he would ask, I know he can tell. We sat and talked a while, he tried to make me smile, improve my mood by telling me she was okay.

I knew he didn’t know for sure though. Y/n was good at her job - Cas had no idea where she was.

The staff at the store, and bar even heard the news. Makes it real hard to show my face around in this small town. So here I lie, three a.m., unable to sleep yet again. All I can think about is where she is tonight, and if I ever cross her mind.

Eight weeks passed. Mom keeps wondering what went wrong between Y/n and me. I don't even know, for sure… Did I hold on too strong? Did I not hold on enough? Could I have loved her a little more - if possible? Mom thought we were perfect, and she knows how Y/n soothed me. I agreed.

Ten long weeks passed. I haven’t gone this long without Y/n in my corner since we met. The nightmares keep me awake. If it’s not about my past, it’s about her. No one has heard from her, no one has seen her.

Twelve weeks passed. My phone rings. Unknown number. I answer, hoping it might be Y/n. “Hello?” My voice still full of sleep.

“I’m sorry to bother you sir, but is this…” there was a slight pause. “Dean... Winchester?” A deep voice replied on the other line.

Taken off-guard, I stuttered, “U-uh, yea... Who is this?” I slowly sit up in my bed, worry creeping into my mind.

“My name is Dr. Jackson. I am calling on behalf of a Miss Y/L/N?”

“Oh… O-okay? I..Is she okay?”

“She’s had an accident, Mr. Winchester,” the man answered gravely. “We’re not entirely sure what happened, but you were listed in her phone as an emergency contact.”

“Where is she?” My voice was hostile despite my stomach dropping down to my shoes... I was doing everything I could to stop it from cracking as I asked.

“She was admitted in the ICU at Sky Ridge in Denver,” the guy replied, luckily seeming unaffected by my attitude.

Jotting down the name quickly, I almost can’t let myself hang up without saying, “I’ll be there in a few hours. Th..Thank you for calling me.”

“We’ll be waiting, sir. I’ll be available to fill you in on what we know when you arrive Mr. Winchester.”

With that, he hung up and so did I. For a brief moment, I sat on my bed and just stared blankly at the wall. Trying hard to wrap my head around what I just heard. ICU? Accident?

Jumping out of my bed, I ran to Sam’s room. On my way, I called out for Cas.

“CAS! I NEED YOU!”

Arriving at Sam’s door, I began pounding. Not wanting to just walk in, it was the only thing I could do. I didn’t knock like I normally would, no I was pounding on the door as if I was trying to break it down. Only stopping when I saw it slowly open, and Sam’s sleep ridden face appeared in the small crack between the door and it’s frame.

“Sam, we need to go. Now. Get dressed, pack a small bag.” My voice rushed, and still wracked with worry.

“What? Why? What’s wrong?” He responded, panicked from the startle I probably gave him.

“Dean. What is it?” Cas’ voice broke through as he appeared.

“It’s Y/n,” I bark. “She’s in a hospital in Denver.”

“What? How-How do you know?” Sam opened his door completely and the worry shown in his eyes.

I turned to him quickly. “I just got a call from some doctor there,” I rushed out. “Apparently I’m still her emergency contact on her phone.” The words felt hollow as I said ‘em. “She’s in the ICU Sammy. We need to go. Cas, please, come with? Try to heal her?”

Damn. Was that desperate voice mine…?

… For Y/n, yes, dammit.

“Of course Dean.” Cas’ voice held no emotion, but I could tell he was worried about her, and me.

“Give me ten minutes,” Sam nods, already heading towards his dressers. “I’ll be ready.”

“Thanks guys,” I breathed. I needed to get ready...

I went back to my room, throwing on whatever clothes I found first. Tossing others into a bag, I made my way toward the car. When I arrived, Cas and... mom? were already there.

“Mom?” I heard myself repeat my head, surprised to see her here...

“I heard the commotion,” she replied, her voice as calm, and as caring as ever. It helped me, I think… I could breath a little easier. “Cas filled me in, and I knew I had to go with.”

“Thanks mom,” I nodded with a small smile.

Once Sam joined us, we loaded into the car and wasted no time making our way to Denver. Finding the hospital was easy, and so was finding the ICU. My feet felt heavy as I ran to the nurses station, trying to get any information I could.

“Can I help you, sir?” The nurse asked, not even looking up from her damn computer.

“Name’s Winchester,” I said briskly. “I’m looking for a Miss Y/L/N? I got a call from Dr. Jackson, asking me to come down?”

“Oh,” the nurse’s eyes met mine finally. Her eyes were wide and she looked down a hallway, slightly, to my right. “Yes. She’s right through there,” she nodded to the hallway. “But let me page the doctor for you first, Mr. Winchester.”

I heard her voice filling the halls as she called for the doctor. It didn’t take long for him to show up, but it felt like hours… Sam, Cas and my mom had caught up and they all stood around me.

I was almost about to get annoyed with the semi-circle they seemed to form around me, but that was when the doc showed.

He shook my hand, all professional-like, and took us to a waiting room next to the nurse’s station first.

“Mr. Winchester -”

“Dean,” I abruptly interrupt. “C-Call me Dean.”

“Dean,” the guy nodded, giving a brief but grim smile. “Miss Y/L/N’s room is right across the hall here,” he pointed to a room across the hall with some kinda clipboard, down to the left slightly.

“But,” he pressed on, noticing my gaze gluing to the door. “I must warn you, she is in critical condition.”

It took me a second to answer him.

“I need to see her,” I said, not even recognizing how soft my voice was. “Please.”

The doctor’s mouth tightens briefly, contemplating. But then the guy simply nods, and I’m off.

I make my way quickly to her room. I don't even register the doc talking to the others, but whatever they’re saying flies high over my head when I catch sight of her...

Walking into the room, I wasn’t expecting what I saw. I can't say what I was expecting really, but certainly not… not that.

“How rough are we talking doctor?” Mary asked concerned.

“She has a number of fractured and even some broken ribs,” the man answered softly, peering back at Dean’s vanishing form. “Not to mention a massive amount of bruising and cuts. She suffered a dislocated knee, and shoulder, but we fixed those easily… her broken wrist and femur, of course... will take time to heal.”

Sam - as if in pain - rubbed a rough hand down his face, grimacing. He muttered a few words in disbelief, the only ones managed to be heard were ‘fuckin’’ and ‘femur?’.

“We have done the best we can,” the doctor pressed on. “And we have her sedated so she isn’t in much pain.”

“Is there any indication on what happened?” Sam asked from his spot a few feet away from the semi-circle. He was trying his best to stay calm.

“Unfortunately... no,” the doctor hesitated to answer. “She somehow managed to make it to the emergency room downstairs, but she lost consciousness before any questions could be asked of her. We - of course - checked her phone for her medical ID information, and she had Mr. Winchester as an emergency contact, so we called him immediately.”

I… I couldn't move anything but my eyeballs as I stared at her.

Isn't it funny that everything that I was afraid, of happened the momen-- No! Stop. Not fucking now.

Taking in every cut, every bruise. The cast on her wrist, her entire arm in a brace, her leg tightly wrapped and also in a brace, elevated.

Finally able to move, I walked closer, my feet once again heavy.

My eyes burned looking at her. Placing a kiss on her forehead, I felt something fall from my eye… Ignore it.

“You’re gonna pull through this,” I hear myself whisper on her hairline. Her hair is pulled back from her face, her face covered in stitched up scratches and various scraps... “You have to,” I choke out… where'd this come from… “We have plans, you made a promise to me,” the words are desperate… “You promised you’d never leave me…”

No response… her eyes are peering listlessly under half-lidded eyes - she's probably too hopped up on painkillers and morphine to do anything about that…

“Damn it Y/N,” I growl thickly. “I know I was stupid… I know I screwed up. But I love you. So much…”

Three months of missing her, seeping outta me…

“You're gonna get better, baby… and we’re going to take you home so I can take care of you.” I take a deep breath. “I promise to you, I will never stop you from doing what you want again, just so long as I'm there to help you back up.. in-...” I have to stop. “Instead of you picking your own damn self up.” I grabbed her good hand and kissed the bruised knuckles as gently as possible.

“Just please,” I whisper. “Don't give up on me, baby.”

I stood up, unable to stay in there with her any longer. Not in the state she was in. Walking out of the room, I turned to my left and started making my way back to the waiting room.

I swallow the lump in my throat, shaking my head a tad to help… but it's difficult - it doesn't even work.

I swallow again, harder but it does not help.

I feel a fresh wave of emotion roll through me, and I feel my mouth pull down. Quickly, I look down at the ground.

No one look at me, please, I pleaded silently.

I manage trip over my own feet, and luckily a wall catches my fall.

I rest my hand on the wall and took a deep breath, doing everything in my power to keep the tears from actually falling, dammit...

I get myself together - I have to get myself together - and I walk past the nurse’s station and back into the waiting room.

The doctor was no longer there, but mom, Sam and Cas were.

“How is she?” Mary spoke softly, somehow just knowing how to speak to me.

“She’s, uh -” I swallowed hard again, trying not to let too much show. “She’ll be okay. She’s in real rough shape, but she’ll live.”

“What can I do Dean?” Cas spoke up.

“Can you heal her Cas?” I asked desperately, my voice lowering considerably.

I felt his hand rest on my shoulder, reassuring me.

“I will do everything I can.” Cas nodded, before walking out of the room.

I watched him walk into her room and I sighed, bringing my hand to my forehead.

Would she want to see me…? Would she want to come back…? Would she believe my word on hunting?

I hope.

Hell, I pray.

Haven't done that in a while.

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swearronchanel · 7 years

Text

and my commentary continues: series 6, episode 2 (if this is now a thing idk what to title it)

You asked for it, my first class isn’t until noon tomorrow so I can sleep in & so, I complied Also the SAG awards finished at like 10pm so even after doing my night routine it’s still early haha here it goes …

- Oh shit I forgot color - ah I really like the new intro - Penny’s outfit is so cute - “Walk don’t run” stfu Sister Ursula this isn’t elementary school - “Have you lost your marbles bubsy” haha that’s cute - UGH I WANNA FIGHT THIS NUN - LET JULIENNE ARRANGE THE DAMN FLOWERS - This is when sister Ursula presses sister Monica Joan about the bon bons lol - “Unlike your sisters” guessing u don’t think u count - You’re damn right - Sister MJ sly af 😏 wish she was my grandma - Aw penny it’s ok sweetie all will be well - AlRight so where is St Cuthberts, is it closer than the London? Idk just wondering - I don’t care that much tbh - Damn this man gonna go blind how sad - I like knowing what happens when I’m watching bc I can’t take so much I get anxious - But are we not going to mention Patsy’s wig anymore? It’s still ugly, lucky emerald is beautiful anyway - - Ugh my bbys are still so hurt about the thalidomide 💔💔 - IT WAS NOT EITHER OF YOUR FAULTS - YES IT IS A MIRACLE PATRICK, YOU SHOULD’VE MENTIONED IT LAST WEEK but it’s all good - HE’S TOUCHING HER STOMACH AH - AND THEY KISSED Lmaoo I bet this will break Tumblr - UgH SUCH A SWEET MOMENT TO MELT MY COLD HEART - Jk this show has made me such an emotional mess, like I rarely ever used to cry or anything - But it could also be because of university diminishing my sanity - “We should really start telling people” - YEA PLS GIVE US A CUTE SCENE TELLING EVERYONE @ NONNATUS - - Buttt, I’m gonna guess it’s either going to be implied that they told them off screen or they won’t find out till she starts bleeding mid inspection ?? idk I’m just guessing, don’t come at me lmaoo - Patrick’s smirk “he’ll certainly understand” 😂😂 - SHELAGH’S CRINGING FACE I LOVE IT - YOU KNOW IM HERE FOR ALL CRINGEY EXPRESSIONS - Plus that’s my bby - - PHYLLIS SAW PATS AND DELIA - SHE KNOWS & IM GLAD IT WAS HER TO FIRST FIND OUT - - alright so let me be annoying real quick - From that clip from the casebook Valerie is problematic/lowkey racist & no estoy aquí para eso PERO I like her in the moment? - One, her outfit is cute - & B, she gets along well with my shelagh and seems nice.. I’m not gonna forget her comment though lol, so I’m going to stay neutral for now - - Ok the Marsh baby is born next - Lol sorry I love when sister Winifred is being cringey or funny but this was just kinda boring but I know it’ll get better later in the episode - BUT SERIOUSLY I WANNA KNOW SISTER WINIFRED’S REAL NAME - Idk why that was capitalized I don’t feel that strongly but I’m very curious !¡! - - Shelagh being all cute and cheeky giving those vaccinations - Penny is so sweet - - Alright this is so irrelevant but still, Shelagh is outside.. so Why would she throw up in a napkin in her hand? lol, all that open space 😭😂 idk I really hate throwing up and will not let my self throw up. Not even vlad can make me😷 - SHIT THAT EXPLOSION THO - what were they doing exactly? - like a bitch over here a lil confused :/ - MY LIL SUPERHERO SPRINGING TO ACTION YES BBY - shit George’s blind for good now it’s sad - and arthur’s gonna die damn - - look at disheveled Shelagh so damn pretty but I wonder when she got that cut lol - Lmaoo @ Valerie, so she knows the Nonnatuns - - Damn I’m only 17 mins in why do I talk so much shit to myself - Sister MJ sneaking that bread during sister Ursula’s prayer is me 😂 - I swear though if Sister Ursula tries to get rid of Sister MJ I will fight - My eyes roll every time this woman is on my screen - Phyllis chewing angrily is also me - “Travel visas there have been canceled” shit pats it’s too relevant right now - “I’m trifle deaf these days” PHYLLIS U ARE A GEM - Penny wins best dressed patient - - Patrick worrying is precious - SHELAGH TRYING TO HINT WHILE SMILING IS SO FUNNY BUT WHY - Lmao why are they acting like Tim is not literally right there? - Also this boy is 15 why is he not ever with friends - Of course he knew, he’s always around and isn’t dumb at all. He basically grew up around pregnant ladies tbh - “.. Good I don’t want to know any other details” lmao 😂 - I knew he’d be pleased but I lowkey wanted him not to upset or annoyed so he could have a good little story line - It’s not realistic that this 15 year old is so pleasant with his parents all the time - Like I was an angsty fright @ 15 - lol I’m acting like I’m old, I’m going to be 19 & I’m still like that^ with my parents a lot of the time - - Why do British people call bandaids “plasters”? Hm. I just think of plaster of Paris for like walls or whatever it’s used for - “I’m a slow healer” lol Shelagh is so precious - “If the baby’s a girl I’m moving out” I think it’ll be a boy. Actually Idk forget I said that - Don’t be nervous bby, speak up you got this - “That’s my girl” yes Patrick that’s our girl protect her at all freaking cost 😭 - I’ve gotten so far without saying “fuck” I’m proud - - “This is the dark before the dawn, but there is always a dawn” thanks sister I needed that - “I’ve committed a crime"😭😭 - I love sister MJ - also not gonna lie I cried a little the first time watching this - - Some mothers of color in the community centre makes me happy - Who’s the model though? 😏 - Someone find him & tag me - Ugh here comes sister “I ruin everything” - Honestly when is sister Julienne just gonna come out and say “you gotta go”? - No that’s not the way you do things - fuck yea sister J - “We must simply sit it out and wait for Churchill” - I HOPE THATS TRIXIE - BUT also I really want Sister Julienne to be the one who saves the day - Lol yea Babs your wardrobe should step it up but it’s okay - - Shelagh don’t be nervous you’re gonna kill it - Does sister Ursula even do anything? She doesn’t see patients does she? Nah she just makes everyone angry - Get up outta here - Lol I’m so Brooklyn for that - “Mrs Turner you look nice” - UM YES, MY BBY, her new dresses & coats slay - She finally took a break from the damn cardigans & I love it. Not that there’s anything wrong with cardigans but you catch my drift - Nah for real I wanted a fabulous wardrobe for Shelagh bc times are changing & Laura Main is literally gorgeous so she needs pretty outfits & got it I did - so here for it, now we wait for another pair of trousers. lets get it 1962 - this first dress had such jackie kennedy vibes, love it - - “Consequences be DAMMED” YES PATS - Phyllis and Sister J are proud, I really want one of them to press Sister Ursula - Look @ Delia actually being a nurse! - ah penny 💔 - - Shelagh’s so nervous at first but then is like YOU KNOW WHAT ASSHAT JUDGE - “Where is nurse Mount?” , “where she is needed” YES SISTER JULIENNE - love the blue coat Shelagh - “I’m not ill, I’m just tired and angry” same - Don’t cry bby - “Our best is worthless bc it won’t change anything” ugh crush my heart, especially that little hug. I need to hug them all - lol who invited Tom to the hospital - he’s so handsome though so it’s ok - TELL THEM, STAND UP - “We need to fight” yes ! - I was worried penny’s baby wouldn’t live - C'mon Pats be pc - okay patsy opening up, crushes my heart she’s so closed off but I feel - Here comes the wicked bitch of the east [end] - Whoops can I call a fictitious nun a bitch - YES PATS YES DONT TAKE HER SHIT - Aw patsy, you two will okay, I mean look sister Bernadette came back as Shelagh because of letters so you never know - - Shelagh’s baby blue outfit >> - she needs to go out in public more with her hair down and slay everyone’s life - “Not today.” Yes Delia - “You did it Mrs Turner, you made em listen!” - Yes tf she did. I’m so proud - the set makeup artist did a crazy good job with the burns - “We never really out grow our parents, we just think we do” aw I should call my mum and dad - mm maybe later it’s midnight lmao - DELIA SAID I LOVE U - I FEEL LIKE NO IMPORTANT COUPLE on here HAS SAID “I LOVE YOU” to each other ?? - They almost kissed aw - Fred just break the door damn - Reminds me a little of when Jenny left - Aw the Marsh fam - Phyllis you are gold - Phyllis is still learning Spanish, please give her an opportunity to use it! - the only Spanish speaking mother was conchita, wasn’t that the first episode ever? lets get another one - Anyway, this was so sad. - “The pain it costs to love..” PHYLLIS I LOVE You. You deserve everything good - Aw all the other mothers with penny! - Alright Lets hear it Vanessa - Aw Delia Bonus: preview for next week - my other bby Trixie is back !! - hope she loses her shit when she realizes sister Ursula is ruining everything + patsy/sister mary cynthia are gone - My bby Shelagh looks so pretty!💕 - BUT I KNOW NO ONE IS SHUTTING DOWN ANYTHING - I will not have it - Phyllis spilling the ever so obvious and boiling tea, sister Ursula is UNFIT - Pls let Sister Julienne say something crazy to her before she goes - Why is babs crying?? - ugh of course that’s the most of a preview we get - Nothing bad will happen to my bbys I won’t have it. Protect them at all costs or I’ll spontaneously combust - Jk but I might flip my shit or throw my laptop - But for real for Shelagh to miscarry 3 episodes in would be a waste of a storyline - Plus it is a drama, we’ll be shook for a while, then we’ll cry, we’ll laugh & then Vanessa Redgrave says something profound and we go on with the week - The End 🙃🙃 - If you read this far, you’re a champ - I did this for u all

#call the midwife #i'm a clown #series 6 #lets get it 1962 #protect my bbys at all costs though #my commentaries™

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areswriting · 5 years

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a x e : xxxv

Two hours earlier:

“I don’t think she wants me there, El.”

“Please,�� says Ellie. She pours clear tequila into two long shot glasses and pushes one toward me. “She gave up Oxford for you—what more do you want? A big flashing light that says ABRAM, I’M NOT OVER YOU YET. PLEASE COME HOME. Take your shot and man up.”

“I haven’t seen or talked to her in almost a year. What if she’s moved on?” I say, throwing my head back. The chilled tequila burns as it goes down, and I squirm as I slam the glass down, face scrunched up “What kind of hell sent demon are you?”

Ellie laughs as she leans over the table and fills the glasses a second time. “You get used to the way it tastes—and she hasn’t moved on. I would know if she had. Drink.”

“You wouldn’t care if she had,” I say, and I take the second shot. This time, my whole body shivers and I holler as I set the glass back down. “And there is no getting used to that.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t care,” she says, shrugging and pouring a third shot. “But she’s not, and tonight you’re going to win her back.”

I take the shot without being told to and it warms my whole body. “Ok, no more tequila for me. Three shots is where I max out.”

“By the way,” says Ellie, flashing a smile, “Those were double shots.”

△ △ △

“No one tricked me into coming,” I say. I lean against the counter, watching as Elise pours three knuckles worth of tequila into a wineglass, my body swaying. “And really—Ellie’s friend. You don’t want to tell your new friends about how I used to eat your—”

A hard jab to my ribs stops me from speaking, and Elise chokes on her drink.

“Abram,” hisses Ellie, her eyes burning into me as I stand up straight.

“Telle classe,” mutters Knox from behind us. I turn my head and she smirks at me. “Est-ce que quelqu'un d'autre pense qu'il a l'air sans abri?”

“Oui,” laughs Justin, “Qui d'autre porte des pantalons de survêtement en public?”

“Quelqu'un avec assez de bite pour être fier,” I say, blatantly eyeballing the front of his skin tight pants. “Isn’t that right, Elise?”

“Abram!” Elise says through gritted teeth, her whole face turning red and I know it’s not because of the alcohol.

“What? What did he say?” says Ellie, looking between Elise and I, and her snobby friends.

“You don’t want to know,” says Elise. She turns to her friends and offers them an apologetic look. “Excuse me, I’m going to show Ellie’s friend to the door.”

Elise grabs my upper arm, but when I flex under her grasp she takes a tight hold on my elbow. I hear Simon shouting for both of us as she weaves us through the crowd, but she doesn’t stop until we are outside of her apartment and the door slams behind her.

“What are you doing, Abram,” she says, stepping toward me. “Did you come to embarrass me and ruin my night?”

“No,” I say, stumbling backwards.

“You’re drunk,” she says as she grabs my arms and steadies me.

“Yes,” I nod, “But it was Ellie’s fault. She gave me shots of tequila—did you know it starts to taste like water when you drink enough of it?”

“Stop!” she yells. “I don’t want to hear about tequila, or you blaming Ellie like you’re a five year old. There is a reason we haven’t talked in almost a year—there is a reason we haven’t seen each other. And that reason is because as much as I loved you, I love me more. You can’t just show up drunk—you can’t just show up at all, Abram. I’m better now—you—you need to go.”

“Some things never do change do they?” I laugh. “Oh, I’m Elise, the queen of everyone and everything. Ruler of the free world—”

“You’re at my apartment!” she hollers. “I’m allowed to tell you to go, that I don’t want to see you.”

“You’re lying,” I challenge.

“I am not!”

I step closer. “I love you.”

“Abram, stop.”

“I love you, Elise,” I say again.

She turns half her body away from me before I snatch her up and move until her back is against the wall instead of mine.

“I forgive you,” I say, my hands half on her face, half on her neck. “For Sylvia, for everything. I forgive you, and I love you.”

She bites her bottom lip, her glossy eyes looking anywhere but at me. “You’re drunk, Abram. We’ve been here before.”

“But we haven’t,” I say.

“We have,” she says, her voice straining. “You’ll wake up in the morning and you’ll realize that coming here was a mistake.”

“None of the mistakes I’ve made have ever involved you,” I say, my lips so close to hers that I can feel her breath. “And I’ll wake up in the morning knowing I told the love of my life how I feel.”

I feel her body relax in the slightest, our lips almost touching—and her apartment door flies open.

I look up to see Ellie with a tear stained face. “We have to go,” she says as she steps outside.

“Ellie?” says Elise. “What’s wrong?”

I see what’s wrong in the form of Brody hurrying to the door. Our eyes meet and I’m the first to look always, moving quickly to stand by Ellie’s side.

“Ellie, I swear I didn’t know he’d be here,” says Elise.

“Abram?” says Brody. “Ellie—wait.”

I move behind her, blocking her from his view.

△ △ △

The next day Ellie and I take turns nursing each other’s hangovers with greasy foods, Excedrin and black coffee. We both vow we will never drink again, and even make pinky promises to be each other’s sober buddies. But we both know the other is full of shit—neither of us will ever be a good influence over the other.

“Can you type any louder?” I ask, pulling a pillow over my face and ears.

“I don’t think so,” says Ellie, pressing each key with enough force to pop them off.

“You suck.”

“No, Brody sucks,” she says. “I can’t believe he had the audacity to show up last night. He had to know I was going to be there.”

“That’s probably why he was there,” I say.

“Shut up,” she spits. “He was trying to get under my skin—he had Natasha with him.”

I sigh loudly. “It’s not entirely impossible that he wanted to see you. And of course Notasha was with him, she’s always with him. She’s like a five-foot eleven inch growth.”

Ellie snorts, then whines. “Stop making me laugh—it hurts.”

I pull the pillow down and sit up, using my foot to shut her laptop.

“You should call Elise,” I say. “See if she’s ok after I—”

“—made a complete ass of yourself?”

I roll my eyes.

“Sorry,” she sighs. “I really thought alcohol would help.”

“Well, I probably wouldn’t have done that sober,” I say, shrugging and laying back onto the couch.

“Do you want to go get dinner after I publish this blog?” she asks.

I open my mouth to answer but before I can, the sound of Ellie’s apartment door flies open.

“Ellie—you will not believe what Natasha tried selling me last night!”

“Botox?” says Ellie. “Or another stolen story?”

“Oh, it’s better than that,” says Elise. “She tried telling me that she was certain that you and Abram were hooking up! And that’s not even the bad part—she has Brody drinking the Ellbram Kool-Aid.”

“What?” Ellie and I say in unison, my spine pulling me straight up on the sofa.

Elise’s eyes double in size as she takes in the sight of me, her hand pressing against her heart.

“I—I didn’t know you were here,” she sputters out.

“Never mind him,” says Ellie, tossing her laptop onto the cluttered coffee table. “Brody believes it?”

“Well, he wasn’t exactly telling her she was crazy for even mentioning it,” she says, looking only at Ellie. “Of course I know it’s laughable, but Brody almost looked mad about it.”

“Bullshit,” I say, swinging my legs off of the couch. “Brody knows better.”

“I thought he knew, better, too,” says Elise. “I mean, I personally can see why she might think that because she doesn’t know us, but—”

“—but Brody does,” says Ellie.

“I’m going to get to the bottom of this,” I say, standing and slipping my Nike sandals over my socks.

△ △ △

I set my phone face up on the table, sipping my peanut butter and chocolate smoothie, my eyes focused on the large glass window. Every time I see a car park, I sit up a little straighter, but find myself slumping down over and over again.

Halfway through my frozen treat, I stop watching the traffic and take interest in playing candy crush on my phone.

Feeling eyes on me, I glance up. Not only do I see Brody—but I also see Natasha, both carrying bottles of Smart Water. And without greeting me like he used to, Brody sits across from me, Natasha hanging onto his arm as she sits beside him.

“It’s nice to see you, Natasha,” I say, my tone conveying otherwise.

She gives me a fake smile and rolls her eyes as she takes a long drink of water.

“Don’t be like that,” says Brody. “She didn’t do anything to you.”

“Well,” I say, “from what I hear, she’s telling everyone I’m hooking up with Ellie, and I happen to have a problem with that.”

“God, Abram, what don’t you have a problem with these days?” says Brody, pulling his hat off.

Tongue in cheek, I fold my arms. “You do realize it’s insane to think Ellie and I—”

“It’s not insane,” Brody speaks over me, shaking his head. “You two? Have been attached at the hip since June.”

“She’s my friend,” I say.

He presses his lips into a thin line. “What am I?”

“Why are you being like that?”

“She tried to ruin my life, Abram!” Brody says, voice rising. “You have other friends—it has to be something more.”

“Oh my, God,” I say, and I laugh humorlessly. “Do you know how stupid that sounds? And no, I don’t have other friends. I had you and her.”

“Had?” he says. “That’s rich, seeing as though you’re the one who decided she was worth more than our friendship!”

“That isn’t true and you know it,” I say, hands shaking. “She’s all I have left, because you—”

“Because he got drafted?” Natasha interjects. “You’ve been a Debbie Downer ever since the draft picks. You’re jealous, so you’re trying to get back at him—”

“Shut up, Natasha,” I snap. “No one is talking to you.”

“Don’t speak to her like that,” Brody snaps back. “And she’s right. You’ve been the least supportive person I know through all of this. God, I’m sorry you got screwed out of a spot, but that’s not my fault, Abram. Get over yourself.”

“Get over myself?” I say, brows creasing. “Get the fuck over yourself, Brody. You’re the one who thinks the suns rises and sets out of your own ass now that you’re in the NHL.”

“Maybe if you had worked harder, you would have been picked, too,” says Natasha.

White, hot anger courses through me and my balled up fist slams into the table, knuckles first.

△ △ △

I only go to my first day of classes because Ellie literally drags me to them. We sit at a three person table, Ellie sitting on the end, leaving me to sit between her and an empty seat.

“Trade with me,” I say. “I don’t want to do human communication today. I might punch someone.”

She taps away on her phone and shakes her head. “I promise, you’ll like whoever sits beside you.”

“What are you doing over there?” I ask, leaning into view of her phone.

“Texting Elise directions,” she says. “Put your bag in the seat so no hot girl tries to sit beside you and hit on you. She’s running late.”

“Are you saying—”

A tall girl with dark skin lingers at our table, looking between Ellie and I. “I’m sorry, is that seat taken?”

“It is,” she says, and she puts her hand up to the side of her mouth. “His imaginary friend is sitting there.”

The girls’ eyes go wide and she hurries further down the aisle.

“Ellie!” I say. “She’s going to think I’m crazy!”

“Duh, that was the point. She can’t try to get into your pants if she thinks you’re nuts. Oh—look, there’s Elise.” She waves her hand into the air, motioning for her to join us.

She hesitates, but surprises me by slipping behind our chairs and sitting down beside me.

#ae #my writing

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