#u know like the stories that are fun spoopy

[seokmins]

i'm thinking of making a little spooky theme </3 they're all so cute!!! 🖤🧡 i'm watching it tomorrow with my s/o so will let you know how it is!! 💖

AW LOVE no :( are you okay?? i definitely get nightmares like that :( i had one a while ago where someone was stood over my bed watching me sleep and i woke up and i thought i saw someone in the corner :(( i slept with the light on for a week afterwards :(( whenever i watched a horror film alone, i would watch the behind the scenes of the movie to become less qorried about sleeping alone!! :(

when i saw the conjuring 2, i was house sitting for my gran while she was in greece on holiday and i heard someone's footsteps on the stairs. genuinely freaked me out. her house was definitely haunted :/

that sounds so cool omg :(( my friend lives across from a cemetery and she always tells me about how she sees things at night and it freaks me out 😭

ID KEEP U SAFE IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE <33333

i'm gonna donate most of mine to a charity shop but i dont drive so may need to take a few trips <3

ahh you're cute!! the spoopy ghost on your intro is so adorable <333 and ooh have you watched it yet 👀 (sorry for the late reply my energy has been so low as of late and then i forget sjdkf</3)

ajdfk omg i read ghost wife a while back and even tho it's a little freaky i really enjoyed the story but there's one scene of a creepy monster standing over the bed and i dreamt about it - truly horrifying. That's really smart to watch the behind-the-scenes for real, that makes sm sense and it's a lot of fun watching the actors be silly w/ a green screen!!

omg i would pee myself fr, after my dad cut out the side of our house and expanded, sometimes our floor creaks really loudly and ofc my dad has a logical engineering explanation as of why as well as the remote controlled candles we had turning on by themselves. I always joke w/ my mom that our grandfather is coming for a visit when it happens 😅 it's a lil freaky nonetheless and hellaur graveyards can be sooooo spooky i am not going near one ever at night but i'd trust you w/ my life to protect me <3333

and aw that's so nice. i love donating things!! Wish i could help you bring them there hahah

[hikari-writes]

『Boku No Hero Academia』

Crack Headcanon

↬ Bakusquad & you on a ghost hunt

Pairing: Bakusquad; Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijiro, Kaminari Denki, Ashido Mina, Sero Hanta

Warning: Cursing, a bit spoopy, a bit on the crack side

Genre: Crack

Words: 714

A/N: ok so i was watching nuke's top 5 vid abt 5 scary videos and i saw this one vid of a youtuber (cant rmmbr his name) abt how he and his mom kept getting haunted by ghosts whenever they go, and in one scene he was wavinv his hands at an empty chair that just moved on its own and somehow i kinda find it funny like he was trying to see whether he can touch the ghost lmao so yeah, that part i wrote is based of his video. Also its spooky month! So im in the mood to made smthng like thiss,, (also can someeone recommend scary stories videos on yt plisss)

➳ Literally the only reason Bakugou was doing this was because Sero provoked him saying he was a scaredy-cat

➳ And yes, Sero may or may not almost was blasted away by Bakugou but that’s not important

➳ He got Bakugou to go with you guys 

➳ Plus Bakugou’s driving because yes

➳ Oh and

➳ On the way to the supposedly “haunted” and abandoned house, you KNOW Kaminari and Kirishima ain’t gonna shut up about it

➳ They’re gonna be like,

➳ “WE’RE GONNA HUNT SOME GHOSTSSS, WE’RE GONNA HUNT SOME GHOSTSSSSS OOOOOHHHHH”

➳ They would sing some made up song

➳ My god 

➳ You had to admit it was amusing and fun to listen to

➳But it did get annoying over time

➳ Even Mina who joined in at first already got tired of it

➳ Bakugou even threatened to throw them off the car if they don’t shut up

➳ Eventually they did 

➳ When you finally arrived, you started recording your adventure

➳ Bakugou tried to hide it but you can literally see him gripping his flashlight a little bit too hard

➳ And you bet your ass that Kaminari's gonna recite one of the lines from buzzfeed unsolved episode

➳ "Hey demons! If you wanna eat my heart, turn that light on."

➳ And obviously there would be no response since the light bulb is broken in the first place, but Kaminari was like,

➳ "I think this demon's a wimp."

➳ "Kaminari, the light bulb is fucking broken."

➳ When you went to what seemed like a dining room, suddenly one of the chairs moved on itself away from the table

➳ Yes, you guys panicked, and yes, Bakugou's soul might've left his body for a moment

➳ “OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!”

➳ You and Mina were holding each other, Sero and Kirishima’s faces were pale but they still managed to keep their cool, Kaminari recorded the whole shit, both excited and scared at the same time

➳ And Bakugou’s already passed out (only in his mind though)

➳ Then Kaminari went to the chair and wave his arm there, as if trying to grab something unseen

➳ “Kaminari, what are you doing---”

➳ “Trying to see whether I can touch the ghost or not.”

➳ He then pushed the chair away from its position but not even a moment after that, the chair moved back on itself to its original position

➳ “FUCK!” Kaminari yelled

➳ And yes, many shit goes down after that but fortunately (or maybe unfortunately idk u decide) you didn’t see anything else

➳ Just some minor things like things moving on its own and stuff

➳ You might wanna rewatch your recordings if you thought you didn’t see any ghosts though----

➳ After you all finally went outside you were sweating like crazy

➳ “Phew! That’s quite the adventure, huh guys?”

➳ You said to the guys who seemed pretty worn out 

➳ Especially Bakugou

➳ “That...was….AMAZING!! WHO WANNA GO AGAIN! I’M GONNA RECORD IT AGAIN AND POST IT ON THE INTERNET!”

➳ Kaminari enthusiastically said and although at first Mina, Sero and Kirishima were reluctant, they agreed in the end after Kaminari used his convincing not persuasion skill

➳ And yes, you were actually the first to agree to do it again

➳ Bakugou had just about enough of this shit and he refused to join

➳ Honestly he doesn’t even care anymore if you guys think he’s a scaredy cat or anything, he just wants to go back home at this point

�� Also since he cared about you guys and doesn’t want you guys to be cursed or anything, whenever he knew you guys were about to go ghost hunting, he would sabotage your car

➳ Every. Single. Time.

➳ Eventually you guys gave up

➳ *cue Bakugou smirking in victory in the background*

➳ But then one fateful day

➳ Kaminari came bursting through your door and said,

➳ “Forget about ghosts. There’s been sightings of Bigfoot at Salt Fork State Park.”

➳ “That’s in the United States. Are we gonna fly there just to search for a Bigfoot who may or may not even exist?”

➳ “We’re gonna fly there just to search for a Bigfoot who may or may not even exist.”

➳ “You’re crazy,” you said as you got up from your seat and went to your bedroom

➳ “But I’m crazier,” you get out of your bedroom with travelling equipments on your hands

➳ Bakugou has already given up on you guys at this point

[undertalethingems]

From one of ur asks, it got me thinkin: will Gaster smehw one way or another end up appearin in Unexpected Guests? Like either in present time or Sans endin up hvin to talk about him

Anonymous said to undertalethingems: baby papyrus is best papyrus. anyway to the actual question, will gaster ever make an actual appearance in one of the comics? physically and not the "oooOOooo spoopy ghost" form?

you know, i’ve gotten this question a few times over the course of Unexpected Guests...

And as far as that story’s concerned, do you really want me to answer something that’s potentially so spoilery? =u=;;;;;

it’ll be answered in due time, in any case...

as for other comics, well, i only have one other--’Integrity.’, and he’s already appeared in that! I really need to work on that one more, since it’s both a gift as well as a fun possibility regarding what happened to Gaster :”D

[sleepymouses]

tagged by @littlepetbee, thank uuuu <3 i spent way too long thinking about htis lol,

Rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, tag a bunch o ppls to do it too (if y’all want to, supes no pressure or anything!)

Natsume yuujinchou  (a teenage orphan who sees spirits/monsters sets out to free the spirits who were bound in magical contract by his grandmother after he inherits a powerful book, aided primarily by a spirit who appears as an exasperated fat cat (who is just as fun as he sounds). Titular character is like my Fave boy in the whole world, he’s so kind and soft despite all the hardships he’s faced, the series has very gentle pacing/character development, and each episode is a carefully crafted lil story that have often moved me to tears, chuckles, or outright chinhands of fondness as u watch natsume slowly find a home in the world and amongst the humans &spirits around him. big focus on friendships, there’s like no romance with any of the main characters, lots of cool different creatures (most of whom arent all that scary once u get to know them), its just literally everything i could ever dream for in a show and it exists! <3)

Leverage (team of modern day robin hoods ruin rich peoples’ lives via  delightfully crafted spy cons to give back to the regular folks the rich people hurt. Extremely good, strong found family vibes, and v cathartic)

Brooklyn 99 (follows diverse cast of character who make up a NY precinct. Hilarious, immensely wholesome & groundbreaking, & probs the most lighthearted crime show besides like psych tbh)

Blackspot/Zone Blanche (spoopy french/belgium crime series set in a small village way out in the mountains surrounded by misty, mysterious and murdery woods. eerie and atmospheric, but also like one of my fave characters (everyone calls him teddy bear) keeps a pet guinea pig at work, so it’s not entirely grim and bleak)

Longmire (a modern western crime drama centering around the titular sheriff and others in their small town wyoming county, well written and lot of chracter development revealed alongside some really good case mysteries bc i love trying to figure out whodunits apparently based on a book series well adored by dads btw)

who is your favorite character in 2? (leverage) ahhh,,, this is hard... Eliot maybe? like Hardison is baby ofc, but i relate to elliot a ton (i think if i was on a team i would want to be the hitter tbh?) and love the subversion of so many action hero tropes that he is, also endlessly amused by how very put upon he is despite all his rad/random skills

who is your least favorite character in 1? (natsume yuujinchou) oh seiji matoba for sure, he can go eat a mouldy tree stump. absolutely evil nasty dude

what is your favorite episode of 4? (blackspot) the end of the road. great opening, didnt end up too devastating unlike a lot of the cases, Hermann was gr8, cool twist i hadnt super expected in the plot which was neat.

what is your favorite season of 5? (longmire) probs 1, walter reeally started to piss me off being Such A Man in later seasons, also me being extremely anxious about Henry and his life choices later, that creepy stalker storyline starting up with Someone and when Someone else in the main cast got died really suddenly and upsettingly later on as well, also when a weird relationship started between some of the characters that i really aint feeling so. before all that happened was nice (also sorry if this is super vague, im trying to avoid spoilers)

who is your favorite couple in 3? (B99) Besides Jake/Amy and Holt/Kevin (bc oviously theyre gr8) uh.. i know it was a long time ago and didnt last very long, but i thought rosa and marcus were really sweet? it brought another layer out to her character, even when they broke up that helped rosa starting to show emotional vulnerability and all, even tho it ended it was still just, idk, i liked them.

who is your favorite couple in 2? (leverage) Does trio count, cos Parker/Eliot/Harding 4 life yo

what is your favorite episode of 1? (natsume yujinchou) i have sooo many faves ahhh!!! i dont think i could pick just one on pain of death, every episode is acrefully cosntructed gem all on its own and i have too many that i love and adore to pick jsut one :((

what is your favorite episode of 5? (longmire) Dog soldier!! ive rewatched that one a ton, so so many good bits, really satisfying resolution of the case despite the shitty system that was revealed, and i rmr getting chills by the end the first time i saw it.

what is your favorite season of 2? (leverage) i guess season 1? just, idk, everything being set up and watching all these grumpies/less grumpies who have no plans to stay together start working together as a baby team, and just the joy of seeing their first heist together with the first plot twist, just.. such a delight, but all seasons that ive seen so far were all excellent, it’s a stellar show

how long have you watched 1? (natsume yujinchou) oh idk exactly, like years and years man... defs the longest out of all on this list

how did you become interested in 3? (b99) i think it was just on netflix way back in season 1 and i started watching it, loved it and never stopped? i think that might have even been before it got rlly popular lol

who is your favorite actor in 4? (blackspot) i dont rlly know any of these french peeps? but teddybear’s one of my fave characters, so hopefully the person who plays him is also cool, in which case hubert delattre (if not, Suliane Brahim does a v good job as the lead)

which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? (natsume yujinchou, leverage or longmire) um... real torn between natsume and leverage here, they’re both such lovely gems that do found family so, so well.. leverage is a team of modern robin hood-esque spies with brilliant writing and exciting heists and multiple delightful plot twists every episode and great character building and so much catharticism in ruining evil rich peoples lives.

but natsume’s title character is one of my very favorite characters ever, hes been through so much but he becomes the most kindest and thoughtful boy ever, and its so, so soft and gentle in its development of characters and their slow build of getting to know each other and becoming friends, and the interactions with the paranormal world are very rarely entirely malicious/scary, and there’s pretty well no romance, at least like no romance for plot/with the main characters anyways, and there’s lots of female characters who have important roles but arent sexualized/killed off for man feels/exist for romo (which sadly cannot be said about a lot of media, especially manga/anime tbh, even leverage does not win entirely on that front).. its defintiely my favorite anime ever (i dont watch loads, but literally no other one can ever come close to topping its perfection),

i guess tho, leverage is over, and natsume is still technically ongoing, so i guess for that then i have to go with natsume?

which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? (natsume yuujinchou or b99) Natsume for sure, they’re so short its easy to power thru like half a season in an afternoon

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? (blackspot) i would probably want to be someone who didnt live in villefranche actually haha uh, it’s a pretty spoopity place.. even some of the characters i do like make some Bad decisions that are v bothersome. Dr. Leila barami seems to have a good head on her shoulders tho, so if i Must be a character here then let’s go with her

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? (b99 or blackspot) oh god... the cheery upbeat department at the 99 meet up with a grim, misty tiny mountain forest village with bleak day to day life, solving crimes amidst small town paranoia and weird maybe cult-related conspiracies and honestbhly something/s paranormal and menacing going on in the woods?? i just... cant see any of the characters even interacting lol, im just picturing jake’s confused befuddled face when he hears something weird but like x 10000

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? (natsume yujinchou) hm... i mean, one of the things i love about Natsume is that there arent really any romo relationships tbh? at least not with any of the main characters in the main storyline (so far), just like the odd one-off of minor characters (and takashi’s adopted parents ofc, but that’s different). so, yeah, i cant really think of one (although i think the big fandom fave ship of takashi and his worst enemy is rlly.. nope, and i dont know what’s going on there? takashi and tanama however, that would make sense, tho it is not unlikely so i cant answer this question with them)

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? (b99 or longmire) b99! cos ya know my annoyances with some of the stuff happening later on in longmire lol, b99 just got better n better as it went along, and it’s still going :’)

which has the better theme music, 2 or 4? (leverage or blackspot) blackspot has a real good eerie atmospheric theme which is gr8 and i love it <3 (leverage’s tune is like, elevator music/cheesy jazzy spy tune, which does suit it tho lol)

and idk, anyone bored and stuck at home who wants to do this? no pressure if ur like nah but if u wanna go ahead.... @creepy-friend-of-darkness @anna-wa @rhinky-thingz @rexbasileus @aeolian-harp @warrenkoles @softbrobarnes @damnitttana @cluelesswolf @moondoggiestyle @blloodorangeisthenewblack @my-nail-beds-suck @frankiecolours @savvylikeyeahhh @lake-effectkidx @justhugharry @casualmisandry @j4ya @galaxygalpals @thesecondwarm @dealwright @knipperdollin @curlycombover @kaspbrakeddie (and if i didnt tag u and u still wanna do this, consider yeself tagged)

[intrulogicalshenaigansaskblog]

Frankenstein

Word count: 1524 Warnings: book throwing, Remus, suggestive sexual stuff, censored swearing. Anything else, let us know!! A/u note: Hi, so...first post. We worked hard but most of it was messing about and we did it in like, one day so don’t judge.

Logan sat on the couch in the main common room, eyes glued to a particularly interesting book he'd found in his archives. He recalled when Thomas had read this book once, but he didn't pay too much attention in trying to remember the contents. It was always a thrill to read an ending you'd forgotten.

 Logan would have been able to finish the book and read the ending which he yearned for, if Remus hadn’t snatched the book from out his hands and thrown it across the room. “LOOOOOO!” Remus yelled.

  Logan sighed, distraught. He pinched his nose, adjusting his glasses slightly.

  "Yes, Remus?" He asked, annoyed.

  "I have an idea!" Remus beamed, obviously excited to share said idea.

 “An idea worthy of throwing a book across the room?”

 “Yes! Obviously!” Remus cackled quietly. That would be weird if it were anyone but Remus as that was his laugh.

  "What is it?" Logan asked, already exasperated.

 “Frankenstein.”

 "Yes, what about it?"

 “We should do Frankenstein.” Remus continued to beam. Logan looked at him confused.

   "Are you suggesting we do the doctor? Or are you suggesting we copy his actions?" Logan asked, unsure of the answer. He slightly hoped it was the second option.

“..Both? The second first though. Cause, honestly. That doctor kinda hot.” Remus shrugged. He stared at Logan, unblinking.

"So? Do you wanna?" He asked, wanting confirmation. He would still try it if Logan said no, but it would go horribly wrong.

 Logan thought about the offer. It's not like he had anything else to do, besides read his book, but he was pretty sure Remus would perhaps toss it out of his hands again. But then again, creating Frankenstein's Monster would be an interesting experiment.

  "Fine." Logan agreed, standing up. "However, do not throw my books again."

“I make no promises!” Remus sunk them both out to a dark room before Logan could say anything else.

 Logan stared, in what he admitted, was awe. It seemed to be a lab of sorts, which is what was needed for the construction of Frankenstein's Monster, including a dead, stitched together body which Logan thought best not to ask about.

  "This is impressive." Logan complimented.

  "Isn't it!" Remus cackled, skipping around the room, "I made it underneath my tower! Gives off more of a spoopy vibe!" Remus grinned evilly, tapping his fingers together rhythmically, like Deceit would do.

Logan simply sighed, used to Remus in character by now.

  "Shall we get started?" Logan asked, a small smile on his face. He hadn't wanted to admit it, but he had always wanted to execute an experiment similar to this. He would have asked Roman for help, however, Logan had been too prideful to ask. Just waiting for a fateful day to come to him. Strange it was one spent with Remus.

“Dibs on being Igor!” Remus snapped his fingers and the lights started flickering, adding to the foreboding atmosphere.

"I believe I wouldn't have it any other way Remus." Logan smirked, snapping his own fingers, giving himself a slightly used lab coat. He did need to match the theme of things. Remus hunched his back, smiling to himself. His plan had worked! And now.. He could make a dead body alive.

Remus looked over at Logan and gave a mischievous smirk.

"Wow, I was right. The doctor is kinda hot." Remus winked, which just turned into a slow blink.

Logan blushed, but glanced at Remus absentmindedly.

"Let's think about that later, Remus. We have life to construct." He gave a large smile, this was going to be a rather fun experiment.

“Yes master.” Remus snickered quietly. “Just tell me what to do.”

Logan pushed up his glasses, his eyes holding a dark twinkle. “Pull the lever.”

"Yes master!" Remus said, his voice sounding scratchy. The amount of dirty things running in Remus' mind after saying Master only twice. But he had time for that later. He had a lever to pull!

  Remus raced over to where the main lever was. He made this area, so of course he knew where it was. He used his strength to pull the old (despite it being made that day), rusty lever.

  Logan watched in wonder as a small hatch in the ceiling opened up. Logan had always watched movies or read the stories based on this event, however, being able to actually be in the event caused a sensation of glee to wash over Logan.

  "Perfect!" Logan laughed, growing into character. If he was to be Frankenstein in this scene, he might as well play towards Remus' ways of acting. 

The lightning shot down to the pole, starting to power the massive machine as bolts of electricity shot out toward the two acting the scene.

  Logan winced slightly at the beam of light, but Remus stared at it in awe. This wasn't his first shot at looking towards an immense sensation of light, there was the sun sometimes. After a few minutes of flashing light and Remus evilly cackling, the room went dark, half of it destroyed.

“Please, please, please, please, please…” Remus quietly begged it worked. He would have a new friend!

  Logan looked at the destruction the two had made. Fascinating. He called over to Remus.

   "Are you alright?" A silly question to ask, considering the fact they both were basically invulnerable in this realm. 

   “No. The body hasn’t risen yet.” Remus pouted. Almost in sync to his words, movement came from the table to monster laid upon. Logan quickly glanced over to it, excited. Had they done it? He wondered. Of course they probably have. Logan was there, and with Remus as an added Creativity entity, they were bound to create something.

 Remus’ eyes snapped to the body as it slowly rose to a sitting position, a loud groan echoed throughout the room.

  Logan throws his arms up in the air, giving a dramatic flair that he would usually give credit to Roman for doing.

  "It’s alive!" He uncharacteristically cackled.

 Remus started doing a dance, random wiggles and bobbing his head. “We made a Frankensteeeeiiiinnn!” He sang to himself.

“Actually. The doctor's name is Frankenstein. Victor Von Frankenstein. The monsters name is Adam.” Remus stared blankly at Logan's small rant.

  "Adam, huh?" Remus asked, he stared the monster the two pieces of personality made. "Imma name this one Eve then." He grinned. Logan gave out a sigh that had a hint of laughter to it. Of course Remus would name it similar to it's counterpart.

  "Eve works for them." Logan grinned. As he stared at the creature, he realized that this was the part where Dr. Frankenstein disowned the monster and it started to get attacked. Logan didn't want that for their monster. 

 “First things first.” Remus went serious. Odd, he never did that. “We need to terrify Roman.”

  "Agreed." Logan nodded, smiling rather cruelly. Perhaps Remus was a terrible influence on him. However, he couldn't deny that messing with Roman wouldn’t be a blast.

Remus cricked his neck and fingers, stretching before snapping his fingers to get them all in Roman’s room. 

  Roman’s room was basically a palace in one room.

  "Your brother never ceases to be over dramatic, does he?" Logan asked. 

  Remus smiled. "It runs in the family."

 “Get out of my room!” Roman growled from the messy desk he sat at.

   "Aww! Hi bro!" Remus smiled, waving happily. "What you working on?" He asked, walking over to Roman.

   "Nothing of your concern Re." Roman rolled his eyes. He yelped at the low groan of the monster as it placed a hand on Roman’s shoulder, looking over at what he’d been doing. 

  “WHAT THE F*CK?!”

  "Hey! No cursing in front of my f*cking child!" Remus lectured. Logan coughed.

  "Our child, actually." Logan said, before actually realizing the words he had connected together. Remus wiggled his eyebrows in response.

 “Did you make that..in bed?” Roman was very concerned.

  "Yes!" Remus grinned.

  "No. We did not." Logan sighed, "We made them in a laboratory." Logan shrugged.

   "Of love." Remus wiggled his eyebrows again. Logan rolled his eyes. Roman looked between the two like they had lost their minds.

 The light creative side stuttered incoherently before finally managing a “Why?”

  "Well, why not?" Logan shrugged. However, Remus' reply was not the same.

  "Because when a father and a father love each other very much-!" Remus was stopped by an exasperated Logan.

   "It is because we wanted to recreate the Frankenstein monster." Logan said.

 “Their name is Eve and we are great parents!” Remus clapped slightly, jumping on the monsters back.

  "You two are mad." Roman deadpanned. Returning back to his work. Remus stuck his tongue out. 

   “Mad scientists in bed!”

   "Stop with that." Logan snapped, although he did find it rather… Humorous in all frank honesty. 

   “Sorry master! Igor be good now.” 

   "Logan what has my brother done to you?" Roman asked, in horror. He shook his head, "You know what, I don't want to know. Never mind. I'll probably find out later anyway." Roman groaned. Logan wandered up to Roman's desk and surveyed the area around it. Including the contents on the desk.

[markistarr]

Monster Mash AU // WKM+Present+Septic’s, suggestions & ideas welcome!

Okay, we’re back peeps! UPDATED RENDITION OF MY MONSTER MASH AU

Gonna start off with the WKM peepos! :D (Please note that Benjamin, Chef, and George are NOT included in this list.)

Actor!Mark: Mr. A-hole over here--not his fault, the house corrupted him, but still, it’s fun to call him Mr. A-hole--is a demon. Yup. ~>->~

Just as an fyi kinda thing, demon’s do NOT have wings; tails, horns, and extra appendages (this also includes eyes) are fine and optional, but they do NOT have wings whatsoever.

Damien: Mayor boyo is a selkie! However, he has NO siren attributes, since then, he’d basically just be Dark if he were to have any. (@foxtamer113)

Celine: The untrustworthy seer is still a siren.

William: Our lovely colonel boi remains a classic werewolf. Why? Because, he’s a scruffy, vicious, wolf boyo™.

District Attorney: (Included here because we were this character, so it’s only fair) Skinwalker. Obviously.

Abe: (I have a feeling we’ll be seeing Abe in at least one of the up-coming Warfstache vids, so that’s why he’s included here) Draconian; lizard-man!

Now, onto the present day Iplier egos! ;3 (feat. my own, Milo! Along with other fan-based ones that aren’t truly cannon.)

Mark: Angel of neutrality; basically just a human but w/ fluffy wings.

Milo: Angel of wrath, due to merciless passage of rite.

Please note that angels of sin (of which Milo is, however he is of a specified sin) are basically just winged demons but minus the (optional) horns, tail, and other extra appendages.

Also, he was inspired by God of War ;n;

Dark: Zelren Walker--official name of just wtf this 2 in 1 edge deal is xd Mix between a selkie, siren, zombie, AND skinwalker (may remove zombie portion, but I dunno. We’ll see). (@foxtamer113 w/ skinwalker realization xd)

Is more of a shape shifter than the traditional selkie; can become a siren w/ bottom half seal whenever, but usually when he’s off for a swim.

Wilford: Still a werewolf...dunno why this would change.

Host: Spoopy boogeyman; boogeyman can take many forms, so...yeah. Shuddap!! ;u; I actually like this idea anyways.

Google Brothers: Djinn’s; Neil/Blue and Jasper/Red use this for their own advantage far more often than Hunter/Green and Oliver/Yellow do. Lil’ sneaky bastard bots... >__> (@yintsunami)

Dr. Iplier: Goody-two shoed vampire; prefers drinking from small animals or from blood bags; will drink from others if starved. (@foxtamer113)

Bing Bros.: Leprechauns! No, not the sterotypical kind! No sterotypes here, not for my Bing Bois ;v; (@yintsunami)

Trimmer: Wendigo. Obviously. ;v;

Jims: Brownies; lil’ elf peeps. Honestly, they’re adorable. (@yintsunami)

Silver: Ideas? Send ‘em in!

King: Low lil’ fae; squirrels seem to love him, for some odd reason. (@yintsunami)

Yan: Tanuki transgirl, ‘cause kitsunes are overrated! ~>->~

Mask: Spirit boi; what else would this spoopy boyo be?? xd

Bop: Ideas? Send ‘em in!

Goop: He’s just...a pile of goop...he’s all melty and stuff, and...yeah.

Potato: Fairy; because why not???? Not even gonna do much w/ this guy anyways, but still wanted to include him ‘cause I actually thought that vid was funny xd

Chef: Ideas? Send ‘em in!

Artist: Ideas? Send ‘em in!

Now for them Septic bois! :p

Sean: Angel of neutrality, just like Markimoo. ;v;

Anti: Spoopy centaur, but w/ lower-half spoodr. Specified species is Black Widow.

Still a demon-virus thingy, but now w/ bonus of partial spoodr bod.

Six legs, two arms, pincers on inside of mouth, acid saliva (can change how acidic it is, however, so kissing him is still plausible w/out harm), and (optional) eight eyes.

Chase: Ideas? Send ‘em in!

Marvin: Ideas? Send ‘em in!

Jameson: Ideas? Send ‘em in!

Schneeps: Ideas? Send ‘em in!

Jackieboyman: Ideas? Send ‘em in!

Robbie: Is already a zombo, so...I dunno. Ideas? Send ‘em in! I guess?? ;n;

Now it’s time for them ships+their lovechildren that they may or may not have! :D

Marline (Married; they never did get divorced) (this ones kinda obvious tho. May do fluff or angst w/ this one; we’ll see how my mood ends up being when I write it lol) (@foxtamer113)

Dilliam (Ex-boyfriends)

Marmien (Side) (just a blurb or two; most likely sometime before WKM transpired ;v;)

Darkstache (Married) (obvi)

Evanna: Werezelren Walker. Dear Lord... Has more selkie and skinwalker attributes than Axum.

Axum: Same thing as big sis, but w/ more wolf attributes.

Also, yes, of course the darkstache kiddos are gonna have fancy names; who do you think I am?!

Antimark (Married) (yup xd)

Cristian: Spoodrangel. Yup; more like how Vivziepop draws. Imagine Angel Dust but w/ wings and more human features.

Because of her heritage, Crissy’s part angel (specified in neutrality) AND part virus-demon.

Also, yes, her name IS intentional xd

Six arms, two legs, fluffy (feathered) wings, pincers in mouth, acidic saliva, and (depends on if Anti drawn/written w/) eight eyes; just like Anti but w/ wings and is basically just an anthro spoodr xd

Chase Brody x Niel/Blue (Boyfriends)

Teal x Jasper/Red (Ex-boyfriends)

Teal x Hunter/Green (Boyfriends)

Host x Dr. Iplier (Married) (don’t know proper ship name; sorry lol)

Meggie: Mash-up between boogeyman creature and vamp; wooo, this sounds fun! xd But seriously, she’s just like her pops, preferring to drink from animals such as rodents or drinking from blood bags.

Also, got the name from a series of books entitled Inkheart!

Tobi: Joi’s identical twin bro; has more of Host’s creepy boogeyman attributes than Meggie.

Joi: Tobi’s identical twin sis; since they’re identical, they’re both the same in physical attribute regards just w/ differing personalities.

Got any idea’s for any other ships and possible lovechildren? Would love to see those too! :D I’m open to anything; just make sure to tell me a name, and I’ll update this from time to time.

Oh yeah, also, if you think I missed any egos, feel free to tell me those as well; willing to add onto this list! ^^

PLEASE NOTE THAT ANY SHIPS MENTIONED W/OUT LOVECHILDREN WILL MOST LIKELY NOT BE HAVING ANY UNTIL A STORY IS PROPERLY DEVELOPED; THANKS!

~Eddie the Trash-Queen/King/Dad

[brianna-lei]

Butterfly Soup Asks #16

This time including the squad as DnD characters, Liz facts, Noelle getting her yaoi education, and more

I’ve only played Dungeons & Dragons once (1) in my life so I’m no expert! I’d consider my thoughts suggestions (like with my takes on the charaters’ MBTI types, which I’m not an expert of either): 

Noelle as a Wizard sounds right, since she definitely can’t do anything reliant on physical strength. She would be an asshole and attempt things like building a Clone Army

AKARSHA THE BARD. Rogue sounds too cool for her

Diya: I actually want to say she’s a Ranger because the Wiki on 5th edition says “The Beast Master archetype forges a connection between civilization and beasts, allowing the character to interact with animals in certain ways including gaining an animal companion to control.“ Fighter and Knight also sound plausible though! 

Min: Barbarian with high Strength and no Intelligence and Wisdom

I don’t want to say too much because I want to save things for the sequel, but here’s some stuff:

She actually played against Diya in youth leagues before she transitioned. That’s why she recognizes Diya+specifically approached her to sign the baseball club form while Diya doesn’t recognize her. At the first club meeting Liz tells her “I was at one of your games when you were little” -- This is purposefully ambiguous/misleading (sounds like Liz was just watching) because she passes and doesn’t want to out herself to a bunch of club members she doesn’t know well

After transitioning she quit baseball and switched to softball. It was weird being the one trans girl on a team of cis dudes, and additionally when she was younger she sort of felt like she had to prove she was a girl; she naturally has feminine taste, but she’d overperform it by 25%. It wasn’t until she got close to Chryssa and found out she also liked baseball that she reclaimed her interest in it

She has a nice resting face so strangers tend to ask her for directions 

Sunburns easily

Yesss check the FAQ guys! Fangames are fine as long as you explicitly say it’s a fangame!! 

I’m almost mad I didn’t think of this myself. I’m one of those people who overuses “spoopy” 

All art in the game (including the title screen) can be downloaded here!

NO!!! 

Noelle. The day the others find out will be the End of her

Akarsha was reading some yaoi so it came up in conversation, and since Noelle had never heard of it Akarsha gleefully educated her (to Noelle’s horror). Noelle was extremely scandalized that Akarsha kept sending her inappropriate images, and Akarsha was like “i’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart! it’s for ur education!! me: Master Teacher. call me sensei”  

Following this Akarsha changed her chat name to YAOI SEME as seen at the beginning of the game 

Diya and Noelle: Never tried it

Min: Has tried it 

Akarsha: She constantly makes weed jokes but actually only does it rarely 

Yes, I’m planning on exploring this more in the sequel! 

Diya; Dee-ya. Rhymes with “See ya”

Min-seo: Korean way, but most characters like Diya pronounce it like Min-so, with the “Min” rhyming with “win” (not like “mean”). The “so” is one syllable (not like “see oh”)  

Akarsha: uh-KAR-sha

Noelle: No L 

I was planning on making the sprites blink! I’m still a bit sad I didn’t end up doing it

It’s supposed to be fall 2008 when they’re in high school, but I took a LOT of artistic liberties when it came to the references. For example, Akarsha makes a Durarara reference even though the anime didn’t come out until 2010, and there’s a lot of modern memes that ended up in there too...I couldn’t hold back...

The IGF trailer video is especially modern-day meme-wise -- since it broke the 4th wall, it was like, all bets are off. Don’t think too hard about it!

I wanted to put a lot of 90s and early 00s hits in the game for the nostalgia factor, like Complicated, Rock Your Body, Dilemma, etc. I think it would’ve made the experience even more surreal for players who are around my age!

I don’t own the rights to all the music so I can’t distribute it around for people to download! Here’s where you can find everything:

Thought Projection by Ketsa

Holding Your Breath by Ketsa

Thoughts of You by Ketsa

2011-13 by Ketsa

Miyauchi Yuri/110515 (miltata remix) by Miltata

Night Tourist by Miltata

Sound413_Images(short) by Miltata

Sound429_Floating Cloud (draft) by Miltata

Side by Side by Miltata

Blooming by Miltata

Romaras by Miltata

Little Circle by Miltata

Daydream by Miltata

Calling Project 2 by .que

Flame of Love by YOSHI

Valar Morghulis by Bloodgod

Overflowing by Tatsuya Kato

My Heart Will Go On - Recorder By Candlelight by Matt Mulholland

At one point Diya finds out what it means on her own. After she finds out, she uses it for the actual meaning :) (added this to the FAQ now) 

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya! (added this to the FAQ now) 

that sounds a bit alarming

(I added this to the FAQ page now, thanks for reminding me)  I’m fine with people shipping whatever!! The only thing I can think of that’d make me uncomfortable is incest and shipping Diya and Min with male characters – other than that, go nuts

Oh noo im sorry, that must’ve been stressful! For those who don’t know, I chatted about my game for a few minutes last week with MEGA (a USC club I used to be in!). I’ve adapted them here with what I assume what the questions were: 

1. Is that your cat on your Skype icon? 

yeah it is!! it's burrito 

(people think it’s a cute name) 

LOL glad you guys approve

2. Was the game made in Renpy? What do you think of Renpy vs. Twine? 

yep! it's made in renpy! I actually started out in twine -- twine is impossible if your game is like longer than an hour and is image heavy. the engine started lagging so bad it would take 30 secs to do anything

2. Would you eat a tiny 2 inch man for $100 million?

LOL it's hard..it's a lot of money. I don't think I would

(but you could use that money to save many more lives! utilitarianism) 

it's a real dude tho! i'd feel awful for him haha it's hard when you have to physically do it LOL

3. How long did it take for you to make Butterfly Soup? 

FOREVER. I thought of it in my junior year over winter break

4. Was it for school (like an assignment)? 

nah! just on my own

(people saying that’s impressive) 

yeah!! self motivation

5. What’s your favorite part of the game? 

hmmmmM I like the "date" with min in the dream. it's so fun, with the dog park

6. Which character do you relate to the most? 

diya!! social anxiety queen, so relatable

(people comment on how she runs around when anxious) 

i really did that before my sat once, ran 2 miles at the school's track

7. Are you from the San Francisco Bay Area

yeah i'm from the bay! east bay

8. Which year did you first come up with Butterfly Soup? 

winter 2014 i think

(people trying to calculate which year was my junior year) 

i graduated a year early so junior year was also senior year

9. Are you making a sequel? 

yes!! once ihave more time. i have a lot of ideas for stuff that goes after

10. Was this a prequel to Pom Gets Wi-Fi? Or maybe spiritual successor?

this is a prequel. i dunno about spiritual successor tho, they're a bit differnt

11. Any tips on how to balance schoolwork and working on personal projects? 

hmm...i honestly sucked at this and could only work on it on breaks lol...if you can try to work it into your school projects, like some bit of it...

other than that i cant think of anything LOL it's hard

12. How did you organize yourself making such a long game? Any tips? 

it was SUPER hard to organize, i was really lost until i split it into 4 sections with each character. so if you're planning on making a game this big definitely think about forcing yourself into sections like that

the art was the most confusing to do bc of how many assets there were. i was going to say "have consistent naming conventions" but that's literally impossible LOL it'll always become inconsistent no matter how hard u try

13. What part of the game took the longest (writing? art?) 

writing, actually, despite how much i complain about art assets. it's really hard making sure the structure and themes come across correctly. like pacing is so hard. art is like #2 biggest time sink

14. How early in did you write the Akarsha/Min skateboard scene?

that came pretty late haha i put it in at last second

15. Are the characters based on real people? 

they're all inspired by combinations of ppl i know! i wouldn't say based on them, tho. for example min is like a combination of 3 friends i have, strategically arranged to play her part in the story

character design is design so u still gotta be deliberate about it

16. Who’s the other cat on the computer? (they’re referring to the cat on my desktop wallpaper) 

that one's maru! he's a famous japaense cat. he's super photogenic

(people speculating that he’s the “tube one”) 

the tube one? probably. he's famous for going into stuff

17. What was your favorite aspect of working on the game? 

definitely getting to put specific Asian-American experiences into it

i was like HAHOH i can do this and no one can stop me! it was really fun getting to do this without any creative direction from like, a studio or anything. so i could just go bonkers. i hate pitching stuff so

18. Any writing advice? 

definitely have other people beta your writing as soon as possible! they always catch stuff you missed. also this is like a cheat, make your characters really extreme. like find one aspect of yourself, and turn it up to 11 and make it into a character. that way they'll be relatable and memorable at the same time. i think most people don't make their characters extreme enough so they're all kinda samey

19. (I can’t remember what they asked me here, sorry! They were asking if a specific meme was in the game)

LMAO nah it's not. i did briefly think about it though, i will admit

20. Would you eat a Gusher the size of your hand? 

that would be pretty cool. i don't think i could eat it all at once tho...i would try to save it. like half

You’re welcome, I’m really happy to hear it helped the game feel relatable!!  

Thank you! I hope you have a good day too!!

haha I feel like my game is almost propaganda bc so many people wish they had girlfriends after playing it! the agenda...Thank you for waiting for the sequel, it makes me super happy to hear people are looking forward to it! 

You’re welcome!! I’ll do my best!!! 

You’re welcome!!!! :>

You’re welcome!!! 

same I’m really happy so many people find them relatable! you’re welcome!! 

You’re welcome!! my kids can never get enough love im very happy 

I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the support! TT_TT

[ghost-maya]

Do you like ghosts? Do you like gay love stories? Well BOY do I have the fanfiction for YOU. It’s called Ignorance is Bliss and it has ghosts AND a gay love story.

I know, it sounds too good to be true. But it’s right there! And if you haven’t read it yet, YOU’RE MISSING OUT. So read Ignorance is Bliss by Nikanaiko (YouAreInAComaWakeUp) on ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9475196/chapters/21437333!!!

It’s EXTREMELY WELL WRITTEN and portrays your favourite couple in a way every Klance shipper will love!!

You may be thinking, I dunno, how can I trust this random person online? The answer is you do know! You can 100% trust me! I have read SO MANY KLANCE FICS! And NOTHING can beat this one!!! Give it a try and I promise you’ll love it!

When you finish this AMAZING FANFICTION you can look at my extremely accurate summary I have written under the cut! BUT ONLY LOOK AT IT ONCE YOU’RE FINISHED BECAUSE IT CONTAINS SPOILERS.

I will now proceed to attempt to summarize IIB based solely on memory!!!

So basically Lance, Shiro, Pidge and Hunk move into Shiro’s aunt and uncle’s old house but Lance is like ‘Wh??? Death?????? In MY house????????’ and Shiro’s like ‘get over it Lance.’

So then Lance is like ugh but he’s still on edge and like spoopy stuff keeps happening, like one time a book fell of a shelf.

SoooOOOooooOO spoOOoookyyy woooowww.

So ya because, like, yknow, ghosts aren’t real, of course nobody believed him, buT LITTLE DID THEY KNOW KEITH WAS HAUNTING THE PLACE DUN DUN DUUUUN.

(I honestly think Nika got this idea from thinking: why would Keith have a mullet anyways. whAT IF IT WAS ACTUALLY THE HAIRSTYLE AND HE’S A GHOST FROM THE 80’S :0 - and that’s how IIB was made).

So ya turns out Keith wasn’t just messing with Lance and that the house is haunted by like 100000 other ghosts, except while Keith can actually think like a human being these ghosts are galra and therefore are mindless zombies fun.

THE. STAKES. ARE. SET.

So then Lance keeps accidentally getting himself almost killed by galra and Keith is like ‘who tf are these people, holy shit is that shiro????? Damn he’s got some cute friends. CUTE FRIENDS WHO ARE FNKING IDIOTS LANCE GET AWAY AAAH’.

So that goes on for a couple of chapters, lance sees a picture of keith while shiro was looking through the Nostalgic Photo Album™ and was like damn shiro u got some hot relatives and shiro’s like lance he committed suicide and lance is like ;-; imma just. Welp.

Oh yeah there’s also a Mysterious Box™ in the Basement™ but the Basement™ gives off Bad Vibes™, so lance is like ‘better save that until the first climax whoops’.

Also he hears Keith’s voice so that’s a thing.

Something happens Keith get’s captured I don’t really remember but Lance ends up seeing him so that’s a plus!

I do remember the ACTUAL important scenes like Keith and Lance drawing on each other with marker and being really cute, or that time Lance carries Keith outside in the rain bridal style and I cried.

But then the stupid plot comes and ruins it all!!

I forgot to mention that while this Important Klance Stuff is going on we’re also learning backstory for this house and galra and altea. Basically voltron was a walking lion that looked like my elementary school’s mascot who was like ‘im gonna split into 5 smaller lions, and each of them is going to be a specific colour because im extra like that’.

So ya the mice were paladins and Alfor was too but alfor decided to go and die on everyone and haunted the castle for 10000000 years which eventually became keith’s house.

Keith could see alfor because he’s Special™ so keith and alfor became best buds.

That was all fun and dandy for a while until keith became a Rebellious Teen™ and was like ‘nuuuuu i wanna fight evil ghosts toooo it’s no faaaaiiir’ and Alfor was like NO but keith didnt listen and alfor ended up Double Dying. It’s like death, except For Real.

So now Alfor is dead and Keith (and eventually Lance) have to go and save the house because Haggar is salty about Keith and is probably PMSing.

So after Lance and Keith finally kiss and confess they have to go on this stupid mission and drag the rest of the gang on it.

Also Lance is the reincarnation of a mouse, but that isn’t very important.

Oh yeah and Pidge knew the whole time because they’re Smart™ and Shiro and Keith have a heartfelt reunion and Keith is like ‘sorry i yelled at you that one time’ and Shiro was like ‘nah man u inspired me’.

So they go into their Elements™ and do the lion stuff and save everyone!

Also Keith almost dies and him and matt have some afterlife bonding time before keith is like haha nope and skiddadles back to aliveness to be with lance and they live together in gay bliss for the rest of their lives.

The end.

[smollerei-blog]

HA AH A 

ok so i was playing with some random characters and thinking of stupid ideas and came with these gAY LOSER S

SKEET: (aka pumkin head dude)

he aint human and he’s just some slime dude that tries to be half vampire/half skeleton and half frankenstein cause he hates being a boring spoopy, jiggly sli me n sht cause he thinks they’re laaaMEee

so yea their outfit is p fukin random wtf ???

CALVIN: (bald, asian meme lord)

hE’S A HUMAN AND HE’S GAY FOR GOOP KID EW

he doesn’t take halloween seriously and he dresses up as silly memes and he has lots of friends :^))))))) he met skeet in one stupid halloween night n sht idfk- they became friends and calvin doesn’t know that skeet isnt a fuKin HuMan yoOOO!!!1 11 he was just like “yo, cool costume ya got there, fam ;O !!!!”

but yea he thinks skeet is just sum fukin cosplayer that knows thow to use led lights n sht ????? he ?? doesnt question how his pumkin face moves too like ?? bOY, IS YO U BL I N D?

I literally have their entire story planned out tbh wtf- i just worked on them just now and nOW i have their whole gay story planned o ut ???

oh and calvin is obsessed with skeet’s name cause it sounds a lot like “YEET” so he yells skeet instad of yeet just for fun and his friends just go l ike “????????”

[wobblegong]

I was going to squee about my space-cat but I just got shotgunned through the Chains of Harrow quest & subsequent orbiter thing so instead I’m going to spew my thoughts everywhere. I have too many emotions about this ok. WARNING: Massive story spoilers (for many quest lines), massive gameplay spoilers, massive worldbuilding spoilers, BASICALLY NOTHING BUT SPOILERS UP IN HERE. You probably don’t want to read this unless 1. you’re caught up on everything including 2. you dgaf and find me nattering about a game you don’t play interesting. (~2200 words.)

I. Gameplay/Mechanics

Chains of Harrow is VERY WELL DONE, jfc. I continue to be impressed by Warframe’s execution. Some previous quests weren’t quite ideal but this one... this one was on point.

(Shout-out to my game dev friend who does totally unrelated stuff and their ANGUISHED GROAN when I asked how they’d do the one bit with moving the audio around in their not-Warframe engine; they stared into Hell as they contemplated it. “But Unreal engine apparently lets you do it just fine.” It’s so fun to be reminded that one engine’s effortless task is another engine’s “the only thing that eclipses the suffering this would require is your hubris”.)

There were spoopy screen effects, not that I’m surprised– already seen plenty of demonstrations of what they can do when I get flashbanged or fade in/out of a menu. One section has you chasing directional audio aka heading towards wherever the sound is coming from. (This was the worst section for me, I had to pause three times to get my panic wrangled.) The talking-heads approach to story, combined with the setting, combined with a few lite-cutscenes & one interactive segment... was actually fucking perfect. I usually feel like the exposition-dumps are somewhat contrived and aggravating, but here I was SOLD.

If I had any criticism, it’d be that the spoopy starts wearing off like 1/3 of the way in and just keeps eroding until the end isn’t spoopy at all. It didn’t feel like a deliberate tone-shift, just that they ran out of jumpscare (which is what the spoopy is 100% made of) and didn’t really replace it with anything. I don’t consider it a drawback though... if it had actually been scary the whole way through I’d be a gibbering jelly. Also everything else going on is so fantastic that I prefer the lack of distraction.

I did laugh when the main combat section goes Ghostbusters: you have to trap a spoopy in a box you toss on the floor, complete with a glowy beam trapping said spoopy. Mild grumble because I wasted a dozen traps before I googled wtf to do in that section (hint: APPLY BULLETS TO BAD THING) but fine, if I hadn’t been accidentally lied to I would probably have tried that first instead of faffing around.

Final “boss” fight was indeed kind of a bear but I was warned beforehand that I was gonna get punched out like forty times so when I only got punched out thrice it was like all my namedays had come at once! HOLY FUCK DON’T DO IT BEFORE YOU’VE DONE THE GARA QUEST THO & GOTTEN AN OPERATOR AMP ON CETUS. This quest predates all that BUT THE AMP IS GOOD. EVEN A BAD AMP IS BETTER THAN NO AMP. So... hot tip, get your little shit a little piece of shit and be thrilled when you can actually kill the boss fight adds in under 12 hours.

Ok no I have one true criticism: BLOOD ISN’T RED WAX, WHY WERE THE BLOODY MESSAGES ON THE WALL THAT COLOR. Actually they were... really 3D... ... ...maybe it WAS wax? Where the fuck did the spooperson get so much red wax for writing creepy messages?

II. Story

So the story is that you get a haunted I mean hecked up transmission, it’s spooky; you go to a fucked-up empty ship and find one Red Veil chick just hanging out with her cat. She says a lot of baffling things and then forty ex-Red-Veil zombies/ghosts/possessed assholes try to murder you, ineptly. Ok maybe they’re less inept if they’re not going in ultra-slow-motion. (My god, I will never stop being happy that Frost Prime was my first frame. So good and useful when I’m going into shit blind.)

You haul RVC (Red Veil Chick) out of there and plunk her ass down in the Steel Meridian camp because I guess the factions like each other enough for casual favors like that. She says some more barely-less-confusing shit and very earnestly (there’d be dewey eyes and heaving bosoms if she wasn’t wearing a full-body-inculding-head suit) begs you to go find some relic. Off you go to another fucked-up empty ship! UNNECESSARILY CREEPY WHISPERS lead you to said relic, which was the thing Rell focused on for soothing because most sensory stimulation was too much for him. Wait, what? And then ASSHOLE MCINVINCIBLE tries to stick his hand up your ass like a puppet and if you’re me you sprint in circles for 30 seconds crying while the NPC frantically tries to get you out.

You go back to RVC and she does a seance. It works. To summarize/paraphrase including story bits revealed further into the quest line, Rell was one of the Tenno who got shunned out of the gaggle even before they all got Tenno’d. Apparently this put him in a position to discover what the fuck is in the Void, at which point he had his meatsack body killed so his mind(/soul/whatever) could be chained to his specific ‘frame, leaving him awake/conscious to keep doorstoppering the badbadnotgood, even while the other Tenno were off snoozing per the Lotus’ plans. A line of RVCs (Red Veil Chicks) were in on this and dedicated themselves to... looking after him, inasmuch as you can look after someone who shoveled themself into a robot that’s been chained up somewhere it’ll never see the light of day. They could talk to him anyways– I guess they were mostly there to keep him from going bonkers and maybe intervene if anything ever went wrong.

Anyways, that’s all fine right up until it isn’t; RVC & the Lotus determine that his transference fucked up and fragmented so you need to go Ghostbusters the creepy phantoms of this guy’s psyche. Collect them all while dodging ASSHOLE MCINVINCIBLE (and a smattering of forgettable mooks– fuck off Infested, I don’t care if it’s your ship) and RVC thanks you/tearfully asks you to take them back to where his ‘frame rests so he can die because THAT’S ENOUGH SUFFERING FOR ONE PERSON THANKS.

Nothing gets to be easy, not even that, so when you find the ‘frame and start snapping its chains it wakes up. RVC has about five seconds to go “thaT’S NOT RELL” while your little shit self scurries behind a pillar before boss fight! Red Veil operatives (except dead or mind controlled or who knows what) try to punch you out while some kind of awful red glowing tear pops in and out to fireball you. But eventually you snap all the chains and yaaaay Rell gets his eternal rest. (I’m not crying, you’re crying.)

III. Meta Story/Worldbuilding

It’s SUCH A THING to me that RVC casually knows what the Tenno are. I mean, ok, makes sense because the RVCs were so involved with Rell, buT LIKE. MAN. NOBODY ELSE KNOWS. THE “KIND OF HAVE A CLUE” PEOPLE STILL DON’T KNOW MORE THAN “IF YOU DISSECT A WARFRAME YOU WILL NOT FIND ANYTHING THAT EXPLAINS WHAT THE TENNO ARE”. Fuck, I think the RVC even dresses down the Lotus over it a la “fuck u, u say they’re ur kids but u suck and u never knew about Rell”.

They completely skate right past RVC setting up shop in the hyper-secret Steel Meridian HQ. “Yeah, no big, me and my ouija board are gonna hang out at the secret base of a completely different faction, which happens to be located like three centimeters from the balls of the genocidal maniacs they defected from. Sorry you keep seeing my kavat in the background of my transmissions.” W h a t . ?

...ok, side thoughts out of the way: OH FUCK OH FUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK THE MAN IN THE WALL

As of this point in Warframe’s existence (out of game I mean) they have done... not the WORST job defining the Void, but of course a lot of it hasn’t been written out. (Both because good storytelling and also because the writers probably haven’t gotten that far. :p) Things we do know:

The ship of people who got stuck in there was (afaik) 100% casualties among all the adults. Fuckers all went feral apparently? But the kids lived. Although they came out weird and dangerous (understatement). People do still go into the Void atm, generally via opening a portal on another planet. People... don’t always come OUT of the Void, although presumably they come back out often enough for the major powers to feel like it’s not a waste of time to ransack that shit. I don’t know where they stuck this lore but iirc there’s some kind of horrible THING in there that basically shoves some kind of hijacking device into you, if it catches you, and then it controls you forever. (IDK if dying gets you out of it or if it can just be like HA HA NICE TRY MEATPUPPET and get you back up. With how this setting is, could go either way.) This is why all the Void tilesets have a variety of mob types: the THING has been hijacking the assortment of factions that wander in. Like I said, people don’t always come back out during those expeditions.

So the first badbadnotgood hint I personally played through was at the end of The War Within (Space Lil’ Shit 2 Electric Boogaloo, Now With More Tremors). It’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it brief, but while Space Dad is congratulating you, your Operator suddenly stares into the camera, eyes turning into voids, and a creepy voice taunts you, something about “don’t forget what you owe me kid” or the like. It’s a single line, but the way the camera snaps around (complete with some fucking over-the-top visual effects) & Space Dad catches your arm while you shake it off... thaaaaaat’s not a trivial hallucination.

Anyway. Among other things, during the Chains of Harrow the RVC is very fucking explicit about how Rell was grappling with/cockblocking a specific “vast and indifferent” entity that lives in the Void. Offhandedly, The Lotus dismisses this while mentioning that basically all Tenno have mentioned or claimed similar things. (RVC keeps on insisting.) Right before Rell finally dies, he asks who’s gonna take over his job if he stops, and the RVC coos that all the other Tenno will have to help now.

I have been told by one friend– without checking around, so could be wrong, but– that once you’ve finished the Chains of Harrow you’ll periodically get jumpscared on your ship by a creepy asshole who looks identical to your Operator, but has a different (asshole) voice. Said friend randomly turned around once and what looked like their Operator was sitting on their nav console. And taunted them. Said friend sprinted down to the transference pod to make sure their Operator was in the right place– they were– but was pretty freaked out by it.

Obviously, we don’t have much more detail at this point, but uH. This is not painting a rosy picture of the shit lurking out there in the Void. To me this is pointing towards some kind of extradimensional horror that you really don’t want to draw the attention of... and we’ve gone and done that. Possibly even that the Tenno were lucky to scamper away the first time after it got to play with an entire ship of people (some guessing there, but given its asshole moves so far...) and going anywhere near the Void after that was about as wise as standing on a hilltop in a thunderstorm while double-dog-daring Zeus.

I’m so excited to find out how fucked we are.

Given what the orbiter shit involved, the answer is probably very, and also creatively. BALLAS? WHAT?? WHAT?????

IV. Further Thoughts

I really would love to hear the perspectives of autistic folk. That said, I... more or less liked how the Chains of Harrow handled Rell? The quest established that he was very different; the other kids-eventually-Tenno ignored him, while his mother loved him (I’m open to other interpretations but everything I heard pointed to sincerity). He had the intelligence and agency to deal with badbadnotgood, and while the RVC had a certain maternal vibe she was pretty damn reverent when discussing what he’d done/was doing. Also (maybe most importantly in my reckoning) he didn’t get a happy ending, but he succeeded at what he was doing. By this setting’s standards that’s a rosier conclusion than almost anyone else gets.

Now that I’m thinking of it, I’m racking my brains for any parties that have known the truth of the Tenno and been kindly disposed towards them without getting all maternal/paternal. I’m coming up blank. (The fuck is with this setting and everyone treating them like kids btw? All indications are that they stopped aging so they look like young teens, sure, but all indications are ALSO that they’ve lived awhile time, even excluding their cryosleep! I’m willing to believe a certain amount of “their brain maturity stalled along with the rest of their aging so they have the hardware of a 13yo” but that wouldn’t undo living long enough to form a small civilization. SOME parts of teenagers not being like adults are hardware, but a lot of it is pure lack of life experience, which the Tenno have in spades by now. Also, you know, THEY PSYCHICALLY POWER SPACE NINJA ROBOTS, SHOW SOME RESPECT.)

...

And now I’m going to pass out to sweet dreams of tomorrow’s fully-grown space-kitty.

[phoenixpinks]

TEAM LAZARUS 1001 NAMES

40 pages you crazies, it’s been a fun year as record keeper. 

Let’s try and reach 2,000 for next year!

Note: There are some spots where the emojis just didn’t register for me in the chat title. 

1) Team Lazarus

2) Team Adorable

3) Team Laz-R-Us

4) a FUCKING glass

5) SHEER MASTERMINDS

6) THE ANSWER IS NUN (STRIKE 2? WE’RE HAVING NUN OF THAT!)

7) FUCK CHUCK

8) Dream Team Lazy-R-Us

9) Dream Team Meme Team Laz👏R👏Us

10) Dream Team Meme Team Laz👏R👏Us Groupies

11) Hello welcome to Lazarus how can we cry with you

12) WHATS NEW LAZAROO (WOOOAH WOAH WOAH WWWWWOOAH)

13) Team Lazarus Team Mom

14) Team Lazarus Team Mom Team Rosebush

15) Team Lazarus - Thorn Edition

16) Team Lazarus - Thorn Mom Edition

17) “Take that funky butt and shake it all around…” - Edward Nygma

18) Jonathan Crane brutally murders a bitch

19) Jonathan Crane is our Murder Senpai

20) The Monarch returns to haunt us

21) un Patrol team Lazarus

22) Two Pun or not Two pun, that is the question

23) Hi my name is jim ichabod fear stork rance and i have short stork borwn hair

24) FUCK MONARCH

25) FUCK MONARCH (He’s fine…yup)

26) Jonathan Crane is totally fine there is aboslutly nothing wrong

27) Great Googly Moogly Everything’s Gone to Shit

28) @SkypeOfficial please remove this group there’s been a terrible mispunderstanding

29) endgame: jonathan slapping edward’s ass

30) Team Lazarus, Weakpoint: Hydration

31) Team Lazarus Momobile Beep Beep

32) Team Firewood

33) 847-bOI

34) The Doctor is In!

35) Mom Squad Roll Out

36) The Nyma Sass

37) The Nygma Sass

38) Sass Machine

39) CRANE LIVES HROO HRAA

40) CRANE LIVES CALLOOH CALLAY

41) Mission: Save Riddler’s sassy ass

42) Dr. Crane, master of Hardcore self medical treament

43) Dr. Crane, master of Hardcore self medical treatment

44) Dr. Crane, Master of Hardcore Self Medical Treatment ™

45) *football team chant* G👏C👏P👏D

46) Beep Beep here comes spooky

47) doot doot here comes spooky

48) Beep Beep here comes spooky

49) NOOT NOOT HERE COMES SPOOPY

50) Beepy Boopy here comes the spoop lord

51) here comes a sexy spooky

52) Our Lord and Saviour Jonathan Crane, hallowed be thine burlap,

53) Cult of Burlap and Riddles

54) DJ JC as the lead show with Rapper E.Nygma as backup

55) 55

56) Codot don’t do it oH MY GOD

57) Brb pizza

58) I wanted a turn to change the title sorry guys

59) SO IT IS TO BE WAR BETWEEN US

60) You don’t control me

61) You never leave. Not really.

62) Save the pupper

63) Save the Riddler

64) Be there in a sec sanna

65) Ya’ll are horrible

66) STOP THIS MADNESS

67) NEVER

68) Please don’t go

69) boys with fractured femurs who break into asylums for you 😍😍😭😭💋💋💦💦👏👏👏👌👌👌👀👀👀👅👅👅

70) Great googly moogly it’s all gone to shit… AGAIN

71) Trust a GCPD officer who makes bad puns in high stress times

72) Blessed by Scarepai

73) Welcome back

74) DID SOMEONE SAY MONARCH

75) I imagine when Jonathan saves Edward and the rogues see him again Jonathan’ll grab Edward, pull him in front of him, look dead ahead, and then someone’ll put on the opening theme of lion king while a lone spotlight shines down on edward

76) wE’rE aLl MaD HeRe

77) scarecrow the science bro (CRANE CRANE CRANE CRANE)

78) #PrayForCodotChords2k16

79) Rip GCPD 2k16 never forget 🙏🙏🙏

80) Crane deserves better than this

81) Pish Posh you’ve turned the Hatter into a Hater!

82) The Mad Hater Needs His Fucking Alice

83) The Mad Hater Needs A Fucking Life

84) Y'all need a fucking life more

85) Stop being mean to Jervis

86) being mean to jervis gives me life

87) Y u hatin on Jervis

88) leave my mad bby alone

89) Jervis did nothing wrong

90) Jervis did EVERYTHING WRONG WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT

91) JERVIS DID NOTHING WRONG

92) RIDDLE 9 BOI

93) Half-Past Alfred

94) SPOOKY SCARY sceletus

95) Y'all need help

96) RIP Codot

97) Too Smart for the Plans to Find the Smartest 98) BREAK A LEG JON

99) BREAK BOLTON’S LEG JON

100) FUZZ IS A TEACHER’S PET (AND PROUD)

101) We befriended murder sempai

102) We befriended murder sempai

103) Make a bff bracelet with murder senpai

104) “Shake the Box to See if it Complains

105) "What a SPOOKtacular occasion” - Jonathan Crane at some point

106) Ra’s League of Legends

107) Riddler’s Label Pen

108) Can THEY get Edward’s cup of hot cocoa right???

109) Have fun storming the castle

110) GET 👏 OUR 👏 BBYS 👏 THERAPY 👏 PETS 👏

111) clayface!hannah confirmed 2k16

112) SQUAD WITH TAX BENEFITS

113) More annoying and pretentious than Edward

114) MOON MOON

115) Oh. My. God.

116) DAMMIT HANNAH

117) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

118) Hannah Killed Crane!!

119) “tgis chat changes names faster than the captor changes his rules”

120) Moon Moon, Prince of Prose

121) Books-R-Us 2k16

122) angst, puns and ocs

123) Codot as Theo Saurus 2k16"

124) Ready for pain

125) #kingtheo2k16

126) A-TEAM BADA BING BADA BOOM

127) *faux french accent* A-TEAM BADA BING BADA BOOM

128) YOU GET A CAT, YOU GET A CAT, EVERYBODY GETS A CAT!!!

129) Story Planners Inc.

130) M O N A R C H

131) E D W A R D ’ S  A S S

132) What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire codot army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp.  If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake.  I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

133) Hello Arkham, I have 23 more patients to be admitted

134) Team Lazarus

135) Good 👏 Luck 👏 Brown 👏

136) Morals What Morals

137) Crane confirmed Pyro main in TF2

138) INTO THE KILN

139)  SAVE JONATHAN CRANE 2K16

140) Thomas more like ThomASS

141) INTO THE KILN

142) doting ignorami

143) LET JON USE HIS SCYTHE 2K16

144) Spoopy Scary Skeletor 💀

145) HROO HRAA 🎃👻💀

146) TEAM CRANE 2K16

147) TEAM MEME 2K16

148) FREE EDWARD NYGMA 2K16

149) FREE EDWARD NYGMA’S UNGRATEFUL ASS 2K16

150) Meaningful

151) Murder Sempai and the Ungrateful Kid in Time-Out

152)  What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire rids army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp.  If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake.  I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

153) Thank you, Codot

154) AFTER PARTY

155) AFTER PARTY (Thank you, Codot)

156) Hush: I finally have it, the brightest of minds…. *taps into followers minds* // Followers: nEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWNNNN // Hush: what the f-

157) 4311791161/174743432/17237911/974773/7353

158) Happy Birthday, Bill!

159) #GiveCrocaDuckling2k16

160) Password: M O N A R C H

161) #GiveJonathanCraneHisRingBack2k17

162) #GiveAllTheRougesBetterChildhoods2kforver

163) SaveZsasz2k16

164) #ChangeTheEducationSystem2k16

165) #IbelieveinZsazs

166) Clayface is at it again

167) Team Blanket Fort

168) Sionis’s Poor Mini Golf Score

169) Recollective Music Box

170) TEAM BERET

171) #TeamMimikyu

172) FUCK U TEAM BOARDGAME HAT

173) wow

174) screw you guys i’m going home

175) MASQUERADE PAPER FACES ON PARADE

176) a disaster beyond imagination

177) BRING DOWN THE CHANDELIER

178) paaaast the point of no return

179) Riddler’s butt club

180) IM NOT CLAYFACE OMF

181) Riddler’s peanut gallery

182) And how does that make you feel?

183) Codot save us from the math

184) Codot, Challenger Of Trig 2k16

185) THE MIDDLE FINGET

186) Monarch

187) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley

188) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley (Illustrated by Harley)

189) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley (Illustrated by Harley) And brought to life by Edward Nygma (narrator) and Jonathan Crane (fly trap)

190) Team Lazarus: Study Group

191) Riddle me this

192) It’s Sad O’ Clock

193) FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

194) Team Lazarus is breaking down Arkham’s door!

195) Monarch

196) New Title

197) Bookworm did nothing wrong and is precious

198) Asshole McAsshole Nashton: Edward’s father

199) Ashton Nashton Strikes Again

200) Team Lazarus: So extra

201) Protect Query from gross men

202) ANARCHY

203) “I am vengeance. I am the night. I AM MONARCH OF MENACE!

204) COME ON AND SLAM! AND WELCOME TO THE JAM!

205) Hannah’s at it again

206) Roman mcasshole Sionis

207) LetAlfredoBeHappy2k16

208) Pasta Shame

209) Team Lazarus’s Civil War: Don’t Cry Over Spilled Spaghetti

210) MASS SEND HROO HRAA

211) Hroo Hraa Secured

212) Operation: Make Edward Trust Us

213) #MakeEddieTrustUs2k17

214) Team Tiny Hroos

215) Detective Wayne- it’s me, Edward!

216) Indy’s Cane Thighs 👀

217) Nightmares and hell spawn

218) Leo got that dank fear toxin 👀👀👀

219) Den of Snakes

220) Den of Snakes

221) Den of Sneks (and one fox)

222) Dat Snort Tho

223) Haroo haraa

224) Snek snek snek snek snek

225) Get that stanky broken bond stuff away from me

226) Brown my lord and savior

227) Meet Zsaszarus Pit in the Lazarus Pit where its Lazarus Lit

228) MEET ME IN THE COURT, THOMAS

229) Sinister Memes

239) Hannah is Clayface. Must elminate Hannah.

240) I AM NOT CLAYFACE

241) ProtectStrawChild2k16

242) Don’t talk to me or my children about that 3D Batman cartoon EVER AGAIN

243) Alfredo Pennyworth 2k16

244) IT’S RAINING FURRIES

245) Mom Squad

246) Crane Spank

247) Crane Spank - Rated G for everyone

248) I will not embrace that man - Jonathan Crane

249) Swiggity swooty comin’ for that booty

250) Jervis is a smol bun bun

251) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE

252) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE (She lies)

253) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE (She lies) SO, NEGATIVE CLAYFACE?

254) CodotisaGift2k16

245) [7:15:18 AM]  Make like a Crane and burn him down

246) #Rogues!LittleShopOfHorrors

247) Dig Dug Dimmadome

248) Jello Crane

249) Support Sanna 2k16

250) Jon Crane the Science Train

251) The Scarecrow and his Tiny Hroos

252) The Scarecrow and his Tiny Hroos

253) Crane save us from the angry cheeto man

254) Alpacutie255) #KingCodot

256) Francesco the tap dancing cocktail shrimp

257) LetVictorAndNoraBeHappy2k16

258) Indy the cutest (snek)

259) 🎉Happy Birthday, Indy the cutest (snek) 🎉

260) Support Bookworm 2k16

261) Codot Is Our King, He Should V/O Everything

262) Jon, Jon, Jon, TITS, cats

263) #KingSkeletor

264) Give your bae the FLIPPER

265) Ahem... TITTYSPRINKLES AWAAAAAAAAAAY!

266) Zsasz vs Codot meme battle

267) Jonathan Crane's Rent is Too Damn High

268) "IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME YOU DIE FOR REAL

269) FUCKING DOUSE ME IN FEAR TOXIN IDGAF I AM WILLING I AM READY

270) Aesthetic: Edward paired with Que Sera Sera

271) Aesthetic: Edward Nygma Kinkshaming Jonathan Crane

272) Jonathan Crane Loves The Sideboob

273) Lego Batman Voice: I'M BATMAN

274) Zsasz will fight your bullies for free

275) Drumpf The Sith Lord

276) Please no political stuff thank you

277) Oh my god Codot (TM)

278) "Oh my Godot

279) RIP Leo the Viper, October 2016-November 2016 🙏🙏🙏

280) RIP Leo the PENGUIN, October 2016-November 2016 🙏🙏🙏

281) #IBelieveInBookworm

282) #ICan'tBelieveZsazsisBookworm

283) _removed conversation name_

284) BLANK

285) SIX MILLION TONS OF WHITE BULLSHIT ON MY DRIVEWAY

286) Everyone Boop Zsasz's nose

287) Psyche

288) Hannah's teachers are crazy

289) CODOT: QUEEN OF FRANCE

290) Spats on Cats

291) The Great Gaysby

292) Alfredo is the parent they deserve #SaveThem

293) Scarecrows Long Leggies

294) Give Edward His Glasses Back 2K16

295) Never Forget

296) Zsasz your local gentle farmerer just wants to tend to her goats

297) Zsasz your local gentle farmemer just wants to tend to her goats

298) Jonathan Crane: The Point Hoarder

299) Spats Over Spandex, Fashions By Leo

300) "Riddle meme this, Batman!"

301) Spoopy Jono

302) Save me from the bad sci-fi

303) Scarebeast vs. Riddlebot

304) _removed conversation name_

305) 1 v 1 me mate

306) Fight Club: Team Lazarus Edition

307) Law and Order: Team Lazarus edition

308) FUZZ WILL RISE AGAIN

309) It's your local Scarebro and his spooky sales

310) All hail Brown, Keeper of the Lazarus Records

311) All hail Sanna, keeper of the AUs

312) Wayne!Rouges headcanon HQ

313) Do not let the dank city fall

314) DO IIIIIT

315) Crane: They're so goddamn stupid

316) Team Lazarus Is Torn Apart By Overwatch

317) Team Lazarus: a bunch of gleeful homewreckers.

318) Pyro marries Team Lazarus

319) Short people vs tall people: The Codot Wars

320) Question Mark Codpiece. Yep.

321) Yes Glitter

322) NO GLITTER

323) Things heating up in the glitter fandom

324) Pray for Zsasz

325) We are all Tesla

326) *FIGHT HANNAH'S TEACHER*

327) *FIGHT HANNAH'S TEACHER AND CLASSMATES*

328) Law and Order: Team Lazarus Edition episode 2

329) The Fashion Police: Team Lazarus Edition

330) "Emerald colored - he's so pretentious. It's GREEN." - Jonathan about Edward @ some point

331) Jon's crows and various corvids

332) Wanna know how I got these scars?

333) probably got them scars from a drunk dare dude

334) AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A CODOT PARTY 'CAUSE A CODOT PARTY DON'T STOP

335) codot pls voice morgan freeman in gotham. not as lucius, just morgan freeman.

336) leo vs edward nygma

337) Hello Naughty Children It's Sad Time)

338) Hi Diddle Diddle It's Dr Riddle

339) Codot was here, but he was sent to bed. YOLO.

340) Smol Rids in Space *NYOOM*

341) RAH RAH RAH MASTER OF FEAR)

342) HRAA HRAA HRAA MASTER OF FEAR

343) Au central

344) Don't mention Edward's 500+ issues to him or he'll have a meltdown and likely recluse to a shell of his former self

345) Sanna go to bed

346) Sanna went to bed

347) Sanna went to bed (at last)

348) N E V E R  F O R G E T

349) Waiting For Alfredo to snatch us

350) No One Expects the Boop-quisition

351) PIANO IS MY PARAMOUR

352) Cause he's a primadonna girl, yeah /all he ever wanted was batmans id

353) Happy Birthday Spoopy

354) Doctor Crane and His Horde of Interns

355) Doctor Crane and His Horde of Interns (Also Molly is my #queen support her 2k16)

356) Do Not Send Crane Bee Movie Quotes

357) According to all known laws of aviation...

358) Alex no. You're grounded.

359) there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

360) Go home, Alex.

361) Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

362) COME ON AND SLAM

363) IF I GO OUT IT'S GOING TO BE BY FEAR TOXIN NOT SOME ORANGE CHEETO MAN

364) okay but have you seen trump's caterpillar

365) Killer croc is awesome

366) PROFESSOR CRANE MY KING (emojis removed)

367) LET RALPH HAVE HIS PEN 2k16

368) Let scarecrow have his classic origin in rebirth 2016

369) Let Jon have a scythe again 2k16

370) Hannah is still Clayface, BEWARE

371) Ban Lindsey 5ever

372) #LetIvySing2k16

373) Harvey Dent: Matchmaker Extraordinaire. :D

374) Our Lord and Saviour Jonathan Crane can handle trashy students. Unfortunately, Thomas Elliot is a SUPER trashy student

375)  Ferret Lord Jonathan Crane 2k16

376) Jon is no longer ferret lord worthy

377) Make Crane love ferrets 2k16

378) Slenderman Only Fears Jonathan Crane

379) Me, banging my cooking pots outside of DC headquarters: LET FEMALE VILLAINS BE VILLAINOUS

380) CONFIRMED

381) Promote the garbage man to garbage boss

382) Everything Changed When the Boop Nation Attacked

383) Blessed by the spoopy presence of detective

384) ProtectIkky2k16

385) rip doctor spooky

386) DON'T HATE ON OTHERS BECAUSE YOU MADE A POOR GUESS

387) RIP HANNAH

388) Trigonometry more like trigoNOmetry

389) Mother Nature can take her frozen tears and throw them into the sun

390) A Rainbow of Bullshit

391) Ames deserves better 2k16

392) Bolton confirmed republican

393) Dollar Store Bane

394) Indy still needs to fight me in the pit

395) Ames V Indy: FIGHT ACROSS CANADA

396) Here I go, here I go, here I go again! Gotham, What's my weakness? Riddles!

397) fuck you

398) The power of puns compels you!

399) i've ascended good and evil fuck you all

400) Lego my fuckin eggo

401) Leo's corner

402) CONFIRMED

403) NOT CONFIRMED

404) C ON F I R M E D

405) DOUBLE C ON F I R M E D

406) DOUBLE C O N F I R M E D

407) FIGHTFIGHT

408) The coin says you're a punk-ass bitch -Harvey Dent, 2016

409) Becky deserves better 2k16

410) Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow

411) Who wants to date this Riddle Cutie?

412) DO YOUR HOMEWORK, TEAM LAZARUS

413) Eddie, you're one clever S.O.B.

414) Codot is the Spanish Inquisition

415) Home work more like n o.

416) FEARBREEZE

417) Gotta go spray the room with my fearbreeze

418) Why is Codot ass deep in medical notes?

419) codoot did the noot noot

420) Leo & Codot Sitting in a Tree…

421) Team Lazarus > Codot

422) eam Lazarus = Codot

423) ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

424) Leo is pretty cool

425) Hickory Dickory Doc

426) You can't just marry everyone Pyro

427) Jervis is a weeb, Edward is a weeb, hell, we're all weebs

428) “Retreat, retreat! It’s all a part of my cunning plan, really!”

429) #LetEdwardPlayPiano2k16

430) Im gonna name my mimikkyu "Eddie" because they both just want to be loved

431) Professional Chicken Holder

432) _removed conversation name_

433) http://lankybrunettepartdeux.tumblr.com/private/153587955220/tumblr_oh4qhizCiE1u7xkfs

434) (turkey) (turkey) (turkey)

435) #codootdoot

436) Jon didn't do anything wrong

437) Jon did a lot fo things wrong but not all of them

438) Riddler does not get drunk, children. The Riddler just has fun.

439) STUCK IN THE FEAR JEANS FOREVER

440) Fear Jeans

441) STUCK IN THE FEAR JEANS FOREVERZ

442) rankled

443) rankled fear jeans

444) WRITING IDEAS FUCK YEAH

445) They are all here...in the Twilight Zone *doo doo doo doo doo doo doo*

446) RIDDLER'S LABEL PEN RETURNS

447) Clayface is my hero

448) King COdot

449)  King Codot

450)King Codootdoot

451) KINGshame Codoot

452) Tea Time w Hannah

453) Cake Wars

454) This chat title will now change every one minute

455) Hello mtv welcome to my crib *points at sinkhole in ground*

456) HUMPSUIT

457) END OF DAYS: A Telltale Games Series

458) "THANKS DAD" IM SCREAMINF

459) Jonathan Cr-EH-ne

460) TWO F-EH-CE

461) Memeobile, Codotcycle, and 2013 toyota corolla

462) FEED ME

463) what the frick frack paddywhack is this fucking cat

464) YOU'RE UNDER ARREST CUTIE

465) HANNAH'S SISTER CONFIRMS, HANNAH IS CLAYFACE

467) HANNAH IS THE ALPHA TWIN

468) HANNAH IS THE ALPHA TWIN

469) Hannah is Clayface, sister confirms

470) THE DAD MOM

471) s top with monarch i am tIRED

472) ikky licky his dicky

473) ikky licky his sTICKY NOTES JOKES

474) “jack call me jackie nashton”

475) KATIE WON THE HUNGER GAMES

476) SO PROUD OF LEO WINNING THE HUNGER GAMES

477) WAYLON DESERVES TO WIN THE HUNGRY GAMES

478) WAYLON WON THE HUNGER GAMES IN MY HEART

479) The coin says you're a punk ass bitch

480) KILLER COCK

481) hi diddle, cockzilla fucked my riddle

482) hi diddle diddle, cockzilla fucked my riddle

483) Ames and Indy official OTP

484) Codot dies from thirst

485) Indy dies from Programmer Dad Thirst

486) Gotham Thugs: The Musical!

487) This is discrimination against farmers and i have several pages of objections ranging from hatred on hay to blasphemy against my beans

488) Zsasz vs Zsasz Dad

489) Go to bed Sanna

490) Zsasz Vs the 21 other people in this chat pt 2

491) "We talked, we drowned people, we told our life stories!!!" -Emma 2016

492) Batman is judging you

493) Team Lazarus: Fire and friendship

494) CROC WITH PUPPIES

495) #Let DCCharactersHaveNiceThings2KForever

496) Almost 500 tittles

497) C'mon guys, we can make it! :D

498) My hotline isn't bling rn -Zsasz

499) Team Lazarus, blasting off again!

500) FIVE HUNDRED 500NER THAN EXPECTED

501) HAMBURGER MAN CONFIRMED TWO FACE

502) Codot is the oldest twin #Confirmed

503) Crane (singing and prepping a fear toxin injection): Granny got run over by a reindeer…

504) Crane (singing and prepping fear toxin): Granny got run over by a reindeer...

505) Batdad would like to have a word in the Batcave

506) endgame: edward kinkshaming jonathan for slapping his ass

507) CODOR

508) CODOR (Translation: "YOU SHOULD ALL BE LOCKED UP IN A CAGE WITHOUT A KEY!")

509) 2016: so bad the waynes might as well be murdered again

510) MITHRA MEOW

511) Knock Ivy and Jervis out with Dr. Spoop

512) HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y'ALL

513) AMES QUEEN OF KICKASS OCS

514) Hi my name is ethan darkness dementia raven cobblepot and i have peroxide blonde hair and blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me i look like dick grayson

515) RIP Jonathan Crane was fucking destroyed by Becky Albright

516) Tempting Fate

517) Pray 4 Leo

518) Pray That Leo’s Tablet Clears Customs

519) THE JELLO CUP STRIKES BACK

520) KING CODOT STRIKES AGAIN

521) Codot is a peach

522) time to shove a scythe up hIS ASS

523) Codot is a strange mutant adult child #Confirmed

524) LetRiddlerCry#2k16

525) The Riddler People Vs Codot

526) Codot's Cross-Ocean Speedo

527) We are assholes team lazarus

528) We are (assholes) team lazarus

529) Sarah's explosive flatulence

530) Codot the mediocre skype god

531) Codot the magnificent skype god

532) Riddler's Depressed Combat Bots

533) LetJonathanSayWhoopAss2k17

534) Give us the Red Hood/Rogues Kill Bill Joker hunt

535) Pray circle for Indy

536) SEXY LEXI LUTHOR

537) GOTHAM PRINCESS BRIDE GOTHAM PRINCESS BRIDE

538) Deathstroke the Strokedeath

539) Team Lazarus is breaking down, that's it. Nothing new here.

540) CODOT IS THE NUMBER ONE FOLKS

541) you got 2 leggies get walkin

542) WHERE'S MY MONEY YOU DIRTY BAGUETTE

543) LEO'S GOT A TABLET AGAIN

544) Leo and Ames: Defenders of the Gecko

545) Spoopy Birb

546) GIVE ME JESTER HARLEY OR GIVE ME DEATH

547) "I'll LEAF you to your thoughts."

548) because uncly Clayface is my friend

549) lizards are magic fuck you steve

550) Team Lazarus calls are magic

551) Happy Holidays ya memer

552) england sucks

553) MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMALS!!

554) well i just listened and my icy heart is now a furnace

555) Sad oclock is always on the horizon

556) Shine bright like dick graysons 90's suit

557) INDY MADE A PUNNY

558) CODOT RUINS CHRISTMAS 2016

559) CODOT RUINS BOXING DAY

560) FUCK 2016 SIDEWAYS WITH A CROWBAR

561) Death Titties

562) Codot's Pointy Death Titties

563) Indy was a Canadian before it was cool

564) ZSAZS PARLE LE FUCKING FRANÇAIS

565) CANADIAN DEATH MATCH

566)  Is the sun a giant space heater

567) the fresh thane of scotland

568) Indy is a meme

569) FAREWELL 2016

570) Better step up your game the bis are your greatest hurdle

571) We are all sned

572) #LetEddiebe5'1 2k17

573) TOLS VS SMOLS 2K17

574) Dear Sylvester: Please don't kill clayface

575) Oops

576) Is that a challenge?

577) Purple Cauliflower is beautiful and should not be hated on 2k17

578) OSCAR ISAAC AS HARVEY DENT 2k17

579) MARK HAMILL MVP

580) KING DRURY MOTHMAN CONFIRMED

581) LEOOOOOOOOOOOOO

582) Ivy and the horrible baguette

583) Zsasz failed

584) #IBelieveInZsasz

585) Lep

586) EXPOSE ZSASZ 2K17

587) Tis I, the frenchiest fry

588) I will keep this title until Leo returns to symbolize how much I miss his absence

589) Riddler can't grow a beard so he just grows everything else instead

590) "Riddler can't grow a beard so he just grows everything else instead" - Indy, 01/13/2017

591) Operation: Leo Punches All The Riddlers

592) Operation: Leo Punches All The Riddlers, starting with Ames

593) YOOOOOU'RE HERE, THE FRENCHIEST FRY IS NEEEEAR,

594) ROGUES MUSICAL

595) "It's Gotham, reasonably wears spandex" -Hayden Ayala

596) SWEET SMELL OF SUCC

597) There's no 'I' in team but there is an 'I' in pizza

598) #IbelieveinHannah

599) Operation: "Fight Shitty Teachers" is underway

600) My brain is an intricate ecosystem which is on fire

601) DREAM TEAM MEME TEAM- RALPH, HAYDEN, AND AMIR

602) SYLVESTER SURPRISE

603) THERE'S A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND DEATH IN HIS EYES

604) CLUB PENGUIN

605) Sucant Dehydrogenase more like SUCCant dehydrogenase

606) George Orwell can fight me

607) Mr Freeze studies CRY-ogenics

608) CODOT'S A DORK

609) MONARCH THEATRE

610) The perfume is a lie

611) We're never going to make it to 1,000 names at this rate

612) WE CAN DAMN WELL TRY

613) An epic quest of name-changing begins

614) WE GOTTA

615) Forgive my memeing sins

616) Chat name that's the entirety of the Bee Movie script

617) Chat name that's- NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

618) the size of riddler size of riddler's mASSIVE EGO

620) his peen's much smaller than his ego

621) Team flirt with almost all mols and their bosses

622) HROO HRAA SECURED

623) LICKY

624) Reasonably Priced Sarcasm

625) Reasonably Priced Sarcasm (Roll back on that attitude)

636) Whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous

637) Explain your misery in terms of how much you hate chem and fuck yous

638) Crazy Quilt is our new mascot sorry jon

639) Ta-dah! Sard broken

640) Team Lazarus goes to McDonald's

641) (งಠ_ಠ)ง

642) YAINT

643) BLOCKED DELETED UNFOLLOWED

644) Hannan

645) Arkham's newest inmate: The Monarch Theater

646) Codot is a teasing bastard

647) THE MEMEWORM STRIKES

648) STOPHENCHMENBULLYING2K17

649) STOPHENCHMENBULLYING2K17 (ALSO STOPSNAKESNAMEDKATIE2K17)

650) TEAM LAZARUS IN A TRENCHCOAT

651) Zsasz is the meme snake

652) #TEAMLAZARUSFIGHTSTHEEDUCATIONALSYSTEM

653) #memesoutfotzsasz

654) In this house we appreciate Codot

655) AMES IS A CUTE, DISCUSS

656) BROWN IS A CUTE, DISCUSS

657) Team Lazarus is filled with cuties: Discuss

658) Eddie and Ozzie: BrOTP For Life

659) Beware the Ides of March.

660) -pation

661) What is human

662) #IBelieveInLeo

663) BUTTS, GEORGIA

664) YAY EMMA

665) fuckin ninja nibs

666) Schemer is Poison Ivy! Spread the word!!!

667) Spoopy Dorito

668) Professor Spoopy Dorito PhD-MD

669) SNES

670) WAYLON MY BOY

671) Time for Jon to be a Major Asshole™

672) We Are All Clayface

673) I want you and your windows xp level memes out of my h OUSE

674) GIVE ME ALL YOUR SNOW

675) All's fair in love and mario kart

676) Happy Ides of March

677) KLARION THE BITCH BOY

678) Do you wanna kink or the fic -Zsasz

679) Katie Unwittingly Interrupts Serious Time in the Chat With Stupid Link

680) Leo needs to go to the SHAME CUBE

681) Ames is a beautiful Canadian princess and I love her

682) Lemme just jot that down in my "Big List Of Manipulative Dick Moves For Jon To Make"

683) Zsasz, please do not fight the Penguin.  For your own safety.

684) Zsasz, please do not fight the Penguin. For your own safety. -Amie, 2017

685) The Great Soprano-Alto War

686) We Do Not, Leo.

687) i aint capullo

688) leo is capullo

689) Leo's art is dank

690) either cannibal or gay -Leo 2k17

691) My what a guy that Baaaaaaane

692) dark katies blog show me the hidden memes

693) uncovers batman's chest, revealing dem nipples behold

694) Tobias Whale can eat from the bag of infinite dicks.

695) AMES IS A CUTE

696) Codot could be lured to his death by Ames

697) Ames, please just visit the poor man!

698) Ames will visit the poor man when she gets the motivation and chance

699) 👀

700) Ames is the dankest meme

701) Ames is banned from 1v1-ing people

702) Edward Nygma is Nerd: discuss

703) Like 'I just mixed meth with crack and a splash of heroin and drank the thing like it was water in a desert'

704) We are drowning in the bred. Lik the bred.

705) I refuse to get verbally frisky with myself

706) I refuse to get verbally frisky with myself -Codot, 2017

707) I Believe in Jonathan Crane

708) And the SAD RP AWARD goes to ... Slyv

709) And the SAD RP AWARD goes to ... Sylvester stallone

710) OUR LORD AND SAVIOR DORITO CRANE

711) Leo gonna roast clayface so hard clayface'll become pottery

712) 19v1 everyone in this chat v ames

713) Zsasz 👏 Did 👏 No 👏 Wrong

714) #StopZsaszBullying2K17 715) #StopZsaszBullying2K17 (katie is innocent)

716) #StopKatieBullying2K17

717) http://lankybrunettepartdeux.tumblr.com/post/158985611430/when-theres-trouble-who-you-gonna-call-not

718) when there's trouble, who you gonna call? not edward because he's probably there anyway

719) President OSWALD 2020

720) leo and codot sITTIN IN A TREE

721) UKK YSE CREATIVITEA

722) I pray at my altar of sluts

723) ames more like aMESS

724) ProtectAmes2k17

725) Leo's Career Pseudonym: Not Greg Capullo

726) You gotta keep up to date on all the hot Team Lazarus memes

727) #TeamCondimentKing

728) #TeamCrazyQuilt

729) #TeamKiteMan

730) #TeamEgghead

731) #TeamKillerMoth

732) #TeamKingCobra

733) #TeamKillerCroc

734) #TeamKingCodot

735) #TeamLazarus

736) E G G

737) PYRO'S PROFESSOR IS CRANE #CONFIRMED

738) ALL CANADIANS ARE VIPERS

739) ALL CANADIANS (except amy ofc what an angel) ARE VIPERS

740) ALL CANADIANS (specially amy ofc) ARE VIPERS

741) Go the fuck to sleep, Brown! - Samuel L. Jackson

742) Think on your sins Lindsey

743) aH FUCMED IP

744) Leo stop looking @ the skype group and go nap gdi

745) HANZO IS TITTY ARCHER MAN

746) AMES NO

747) "Birds have nipples!"

748) oswald: imma suck the ornithonipnops

749) Katie the cyberbully

750) Katie n the Heelies sounds like a great band name

751) Chungus Humongous

752) Draw me like one of your sexy Jim Gordon's

753) Someone cure Katie's thirst for Jim Gordon

754) Judge Leo is now in court

755) Let Leo use a british accent 2k17

756) AMES' EMBARASSING PAST

757) y'all'd've g'dabbed

758) Rip amy killed by leo 2k17

759) I never stop. I MUST NEVER STOP. -Codot 2k17

760) #IkkyProtectionSquad

761) Leo spreads fake informaion like butter 2k17

762) Scaring Ames 2k17

763) why do you son

764) special memes for special ppl

765) Team Lazarus: Obsessed with the Zsaszarus

766) Zsasz is the new young god confirmed

767) *record scratch* so you're probably wondering how i became a cult idol 768) The Riddler Who Can't Solve Riddles

769) M'AIDER Stranded Frisk

770) BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

771) Ames, please explain WTF Canada is.

772) War of the heights

773) Little oyster

774) Amie has done nothing wrong.

775) #giveamescoffee2k17

776) Wow I can't believe Leo is the fucking pope

777) Wow I can't believe (amy) is the fucking pope

778) Wow can't believe Leo is actually Cthulhu

779) Leo should go to bed instead of eating doritos on a burger :):):)

780) Ames was an scene kid, discuss.

781) Believe in the nipple priest

782) Believe in the Nipple Priests

783) Clayface stop changing this without context or I will rip off your eye

784) Clayface stop changing this without context or I will rip off your eyelids

785) LONG LIVE THE NIPPLE PRIESTS

786) GO BACK TO BE POTTERY, CLAYFACE

787) Que sera sera, binch

788) Ikky is best birb

789) Everybody sue leo

790) I’ll fight you, strawman

791) There is a Strawman waiting in the sky

792) I <3 Amie

793) I LOVE ALPACA

794) I swim with dolphins at my own pace - Alpaca for president 2020

795) ames is a cute, confirmed

796) The things this chat makes me read

797) IM A CTUALLY CALLING THE RCMP

798) Jonathan and Oswald attend furrycon together

799) Jonathan, Oswald, and Selina attend furrycon together

800) hello my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way I have long black f

801) hello my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way I have long black fur and blood red eyes and i n'ya a lot

802) I can't believe Cluemaster is from Ames' town

803) Y'ALL'RE DIRTY SINNERS

804) ZSASZ WE'RE SORRY PLEASE COME BACK

805) Katie hecked up so badly we are gonna see a shitpost of the shitpost

806) KATIE IS PURE AND IS VOID OF LEO'S SIN

807) Leo is my confirmed memer in crime

808) PYGMALION MORE LIKE PYGMALINO

809) ames wants a trudeau body pillow, don't believe her lies

810) cant believe katie encourages leos bad habits smh dead 2 me

811) #GiveCraneAYellowRing2k17

812) Katie 4 president (of my  ❤ if i have one)

813) ames secretly loves the pyg

814) MY QUEEN AMES

815) Are you a chouchou person or a moonmoon person

816) we are Bros or Foes no inbetween

817) Wow I can't believe the dirty baguette is responsible for Jon's Arkham asylum outfit

818) Leo is a snek #confirmed

819) HES A FILTHY FEAR BOY

820)  I prefer my clowns without legs

821) Thou hath me shooketh

822) MIEF

823) A DEN OF MIEFS

824) When u gotta carve that pig bc bae is coming but u feed ur victims to ur pigs???? (Emojies removed bc they fucked with the document)

825) When bae says he didnt poison ur wine 😍😍😍❤❤❤❤👅👅👅👅👅👅✊✊✊✊💦💦💦💦💦

826)Can't believe Katie wants to marry Lucenzo Daddy-tino 😧😧😧

827) Katie just wants to live with Harvey Bullock and his cats, thank u very much

828) LET 👏 DADDY-TINO 👏 LIVE 👏

829) Katie cheated Luncenzo with Bullock and thats why Bullock is dead

830)Can't believe Bullock got decked my Katies THOT 😭😭😭😭

831) Can't believe Katies THOT tried to seduce Jonathan Crane via pork dinner and expensive wine 😭📞🚔🚔🚔🚔

832) i can't believe oswald cobblepot is taller than ames (insert a million emoji's here)

833) i can't believe oswald cobblepot is taller than ames 😭😭😭✊✊✊💦💦💦👅👅👅👀👀👀

834) Famemely of Meifs

835) Memebers of the Mief Famemely

836) EVERYTHING THREATENS TO GO TO SHIT...AGAIN

837) LET EDWARD NYGMA HAVE A THICC BOOTY 2K17

838) RIDDLER HAS NO BUTT

839) ur'e

840) B O I

841) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

842) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're 👏gonna👏 take👏 him 👏up👏. Really? 👏Feeling..

843) CRASHIN MY SKYPE YA GODLESS HEATHEN

844) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

845) NOOOOOOOO

846) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

847) IM PUTTIN MY FOOT DOWN

848) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

849) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

850) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)  Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.                 NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME                                     MAN1Think it's in there?                                      MAN2All right. Let's get it!                                      MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?                                       MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.  Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.                                      SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.                                       MENNo!                                      SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.                                       MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)  Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.                                       SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)                                          THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.                                       GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!                                                                HEAD GUARDNext!                                      GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)                                       HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!                                       GUARDGet up! Come on!                                      HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces.                                      LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small.                                      DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!                                       OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope)                                      DONKEYOh!                                      HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet.                                      PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)                                       HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.                                       PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!  Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.                                       HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey.                                      HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.                                       OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her.                                      HEAD GUARDWell?                                      OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...                                       HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards!                                                                OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.                                       HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight.                                      OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.                                       DONKEYHey! I can fly!                                      PETER PANHe can fly!                                      3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly!                                      HEAD GUARDHe can talk!                                      DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)  He hits the ground with a thud.                                      HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!                                       GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!  Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.                                       HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre!                                      SHREKAye?                                      HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.                                                                SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.                                       DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!                                       SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!                                       DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.                                       SHREKOh, that's great. Really.                                      DONKEYMan, it's good to be free.                                      SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?                                                                DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.  Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly..

851) SCREAMS OUT OF FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

852) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)  Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.                 NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME                                     MAN1Think it's in there?                                      MAN2All right. Let's get it!                                      MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?                                       MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.  Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.                                      SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.                                       MENNo!                                      SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.                                       MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)  Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.                                       SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)                                          THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.                                       GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!                                                                HEAD GUARDNext!                                      GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)                                       HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!                                       GUARDGet up! Come on!                                      HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces.                                      LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small.                                      DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!                                       OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope)                                      DONKEYOh!                                      HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet.                                      PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)                                       HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.                                       PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!  Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.                                       HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey.                                      HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.                                       OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her.                                      HEAD GUARDWell?                                      OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...                                       HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards!                                                                OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.                                       HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight.                                      OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.                                       DONKEYHey! I can fly!                                      PETER PANHe can fly!                                      3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly!                                      HEAD GUARDHe can talk!                                      DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)  He hits the ground with a thud.                                      HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!                                       GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!  Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.                                       HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre!                                      SHREKAye?                                      HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.                                                                SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.                                       DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!                                       SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!                                       DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.                                       SHREKOh, that's great. Really.                                      DONKEYMan, it's good to be free.                                      SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?                                                                DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.  Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly.." ***

853) jESUS CHRIST ON A CROSS

854) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)  Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.                 NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME                                     MAN1Think it's in there?                                      MAN2All right. Let's get it!                                      MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?                                       MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.  Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.                                      SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.                                       MENNo!                                      SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.                                       MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)  Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.                                       SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)                                          THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.                                       GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!                                                                HEAD GUARDNext!                                      GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)                                       HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!                                       GUARDGet up! Come on!                                      HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces.                                      LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small.                                      DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!                                       OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope)                                      DONKEYOh!                                      HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet.                                      PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)                                       HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.                                       PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!  Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.                                       HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey.                                      HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.                                       OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her.                                      HEAD GUARDWell?                                      OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...                                       HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards!                                                                OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.                                       HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight.                                      OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.                                       DONKEYHey! I can fly!                                      PETER PANHe can fly!                                      3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly!                                      HEAD GUARDHe can talk!                                      DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)  He hits the ground with a thud.                                      HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!                                       GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!  Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.                                       HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre!                                      SHREKAye?                                      HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.                                                                SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.                                       DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!                                       SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!                                       DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.                                       SHREKOh, that's great. Really.                                      DONKEYMan, it's good to be free.                                      SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?                                                                DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.  Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly..

855) CHAOS IS THE NATURAL STATE OF THE UNIVERSE

856) hannah is ruining amys meme

857) AMES I RUINING BROWN'S GOOGLE DOC

858) Ames how the fuck did I miss that script mess how dare you not keep it

859) my professor is jonathan crane aND I ASKED HIM TO TEACH PSYCHOLOGY NEXT WEEK I HOPE I DIDN'T MAKE A MISTAKE -pyro sea

860) "It's like a cape, but for my legs!" -Hannah, talking about her skirt

861) "You can't just quote me on everything!" -Lexi, 2017

862) 2472

863) canya pawnya yer anya

864) ames is a babe, confirmed

865) Schemer confirmed Two-Face

866) Disco Crane will haunt your dreams

867) Some Katies just want to watch the world burn

868) Schemer is a pure bean

869) Rip Jervi Colony 2k17

870) Dark Leo show us the forbidden pimp oswald

871) COTTON EYE JONNO

872) sameo leo - Ames, definitely

873) S K I N R I M

874) Team Lazarus; The Support group that came out of nowhere

875) Team Lazarus; Support Group

876) Lame Senior Pranks

877) why are cats meow so small

878) GET RIGGETY RIGGETY REKT, SPOOP LORD

879) Team Lazarus, Home of the Mysterious Cryptidrew

880) Green Man Yells at Drop Bears

881) #freethetiddy

882) YELLOW LANTERN DISCO CRANE

883) HE SQUEAK

884) MOTHERFUCKING DUCKLINGS

885) One Gay Family

886) We Are All Shook

887) Everyones moving to Earth 24 to join the JLC sorry

888) LET ME ADOPT UR CATS BROWN OR @ LEAST TELL EM I LOVE EM

889) SEVEN NATION AMY

890) SPLOOTING

891) WHERE'S OS-WALDO

892) Avacado Bears

893) Avacado Bears or Thunder Whales

894) o canada, our home and native land, true patriot love, w fear gas in our hand

895) "It's tiptoe time bicth"

886) "Feels good feels organic"

887) Ralph The Hero We Need But Don't Deserve

888) Team Lazarus Team Mom

889) Ames, this is an intervention

890) When your alter ego calls you daddy 🤔🤔🤔🤔👅?👅?👀👀👀👀👊👊👊💦💦💦¿¿¿¿

891) KNOCK KNOC FUCKERS EGGHEAD IS HERE

892) PROTECT RIDDLER AT ALL COST

893) Episode 3 of Season 9 - Zsasz Accidentally Joins A Cult

894) sppok

895) FUCK FATHER

896) Team Dank Meh-mehs

897) Frying Pan Padre

898) frying pan pa

899) frying pan pad

900) frying pan padre

901) Running Start

902) Media Murderer

903) Nut of the Tree

904) Time to Kinkshame Canada

905) Team Lazarus Contemplate Dating

906) Eleka Nahmen Nahmen Ah Tum Ah Tum Eleka Nahmen

907) ILLUMINABEE CONFIRMED

908) dream daddy has ruined my life.

909) sure thing Brown

910) EGG BABE

911) Dorkham Asylum

912) Just Gods, being Bros

913) take a goddamn bath, Sylvester

914) no

915) the gang

916) "On April 19th, I made bread."

917) Leeroy Jyingkins

918) bllaahhhh

919) #ProtectFemaleCharactersInDraculaAndItsAdaptations2K17

920) And then we see Lindsey screaming because this is so fucking awesome

921) What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire codot army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp.  If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake.  I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

922) Y'ALL'RE KILLIN' MY POOR PHONE

923) Are we at tittle 1000 yet?

924) Plz watch young pope so i can talk abt it

925) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES*

926) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES AND CLARINET SQUEAKING*

927) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES AND CLARINET SQUEAKING AND SPIT VALVE GURGLING*

928) 'My room smells like fresh linens and Jesus' - My sister, 2k17

929)The question for some fucking Tim Hortons

930) The quest for some fucking Tim Hortons

931) Send a healer to Ames b4 she dies

932) Education Conversion Class

933) Shhhh he's sleeping

934) "Murder probably"

935) orf chumps

936) orc chumps

937) Protect the Orcs, their doing their best

938) Protect the Orc chumps, their doing their best

939) Protect the Orc chumps, they're doing their best

940) Team Lazarus; The Fellowship of the Riddle

941) awkward potato club

942) WORSHIP HIM FOOLS

943) Puzzle Me Like One of You French Boys

944) Puzzle Me Like One of Your French Boys

945) Make Amy the Wine Aunt 2k17

946) The Homeowners Guide to Homicide by Zsasz

947) Fre Sha Vaca Drew

948)  all i want is pizza and tea

949) diggy dig

950) rip NON's teeth

951) IT's thE FINAL COUNTDOWNNN

952) Spooky Scary Kaitons

953) Aardvark v Anteater: Battle of the Cute

954) Compromise: Red Panda

955) WOOHOO YEAH EMMA LOOK AT THIS TALENTED BEAN

956) What the fuck are vampire laws?

957) AMES IS A CRYPTID BORN IN A FIELD

958) SHIA SURPRISE

959) TODAY NON WAS BORN

960) Everyone check put Emma's art!

961) Everyone check out Emma's art!

962) We all Love Ames

963) It's The Scarecrow, not The Grim Dino Bunny!!!

964) Let Jon be what he wnats 2k17

965) Jonathan can do better than reaping bunny dinosaur! 2k17

966) If Jonathan wants to be a reaping bunny dinosaur he can

967) Jonathan can't be both the God of Fear and a Reaping Bunny Raptor!

968) LET HIM DREAM

969) THIS AIN'T A DREAM!!!

970) Remember! Reality's an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold!

971) Let's make it 9 closer, shall we!

972) 👀👀👀👀

973) Teacher Ames

974) Hello darkness my old friend

975) 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Bless this mess 🙏🏼🙏🏼

976) Friskuella 4 lyfe

977) Young just ass

978) time for tea

979) Happy Spooptober!

980) Codot is back at it again 👀👀

981) It's October and shit's bout to go down, but I want to scream about DuckTales

982) Update: Ames is as cute as ever! 👌

983) Ames expands her meme kingdom

984) Ames the hallowmeme queen

985) Meme Queen Amemes

986) Jon and Sylv #goals 😍

987) T^T Emma fails Jervis - 10/6

988) Canada is a cult #confirmed

989) Nasty Boys™

990) Celery

991) World War Tea

992) Farmer Ames vs. Poison Ivy

993) Canada is already clean

994) Frisk, liberate us from the assignments

995) I snort the gas so I can pass

996) Brown breaks down over a deleted art folder but by magic gets it back

997) #GiveScarecrowHugs2k17

998) PLEASE SAVE AMY

999) How close are we, Sassy??

1000) Operation recover pom pom

1001) TEAM LAZARUS 1001 NAMES

[flannelshirtandjeans]

I love Nor(m)a's dress so much! (And all the PreWar fluff lately.

Jay grew up mostly in the US, so Halloween definitely was a thing, but kind of also not to the same extent as it could have been in his family? xD His dad was a Finn, and in Finland, Halloween isn’t really a big thing, and it’s a NEW thing, it only landed here in the 50′s. I don’t think anyone really does trick-or-treating, or if they do, it’s a new development. WE never did as kids; we just had a Halloween disco in ONE of my schools. Sometimes people have costume parties, IF they do, and maybe there are scary movies on TV. Anyway his dad always thought it was complete humbug, and grumbled his way through it every year, but his mum thought he should be allowed to have fun the same way other kids did. ^U^ I don’t know if he ever went trick-or-treating? He lived in the countryside, and their neighbors weren’t really close, but he did go to some Halloween parties (where he had to watch what he put into his mouth because lactose), and they had candy and decorations at home. I think Jay never really grew up to think it’s a particularly big deal, and it isn’t his favorite holiday by any stretch of definition, and only Nora’s influence eventually made it something he looked forward to every year? Tbh he was and IS always more excited about the harvest and celebrating that (aka kekri, in his dad’s words). His family always had a big feast at the end of harvest season, with friends and family. I think the family liked to keep the two separate even though technically they fall into the same timeslot? Jay’s parents wanted him to have a taste of both parents’ traditions. :)

Nora loved Halloween as an adult - she liked decorating the house and handing out candy to the kids better than she did trick-or-treating when she was a kid, and she liked watching scary shows or movies on TV or telling horror stories with Jay. When they were together they’d decorate the house (nothing too fancy or tacky, but all the more atmospheric) and the porch and have fun carving pumpkins and drinking apple cider and eating well - they combined the best of both their favorite things about the season. Nora loved dressing up a lot and Jay had fun doing it WITH her, even if he probably would not have done it if he’d been alone? Sometimes they’d have friends come over, or they’d go to one of their parents’ place instead, but mostly it was just the two of them, and some quiet fun at home! They’d usually end up watching too many horror things and scare themselves silly when it was time to go to bed, and wouldn’t want to go to the bathroom alone in the middle of the night. xD

Jay and Deacon? I don’t know how much of a big thing Halloween is in the post-war world, but I’d wager it isn’t the same animal as it used to be. :’D But Jay’d want his kids to have fun, and would try to do this sort of kekri/halloween celebration each year, like a hybrid thing, much like it was with Nora. Maybe it’d be more like kekri than Halloween because… well, the Commonwealth is a plenty scary place; he doesn’t really want to scare the kids with stories about things that don’t exist on top of everything else, especially when they’re small? They could still have spoopy decorations like carved friendly pumpkin(-eque thing)s and colorful lanterns, orange and black and yellow paper chains, and so on, but fun things. They could still have candy and pumpkin-y things and all that, and a big meal to celebrate harvest. ^u^ They have friends come over, and hand out treats to kids whose families trust them, and they just have fun and play old records and eat well and it’s good & fun. The kids eventually hear scary stories and scare themselves, probably from each other. Somehow I think that’s inevitable, but an Effort was made to avoid having a kid crawl into the dads’ bed in the middle of the night saying they’re scared of ghosts or stuff. xD

[tumblunni]

oreshika: you know who is not the bad guy? the bad guy also oreshika: you know who is actually the secret bad guy? this sweet harmless comic relief man who has done nothing wrong

except like its eight glowing brain levels deeper cos the sweet comic relief man is also a giant obviously evil demon mask that ANYONE could have pinned for “really just possessing this dude” since the very start but then his personality was very non bad and he was all ‘hey buddie why u no smile’ to his host and like I LET MY GUARD DOWN OKAY. I LEARNED TO TRUST AGAIN.

i’m at the final battle and I am so pissed off but also HYPED?? like im relaly mad cos like RIGHT FROM HIS FIRST APPEARANCE I was like ‘dear god please don’t make onigashira the real villain, it would be so fucking obvious’ and then i just got progressively more pissed because he literally did nothing evil in the entire damn plot, he’s just evil because Evil he’s some sort of Magical Evil Mask that was Made To Be Evil and like Unquestionably Is That and no sort of interesting exploration on that plot even though he HASNT ACTED EVIL EVER UNTIL THE LITERAL LAST FIVE MINUTES

and it raises SO MANY questions cos like why was he even cooperating with Seimei then?? why didnt he fully posess seimei at any earlier point?? why didnt he kill nueko at any of the five other mandatory boss fights we had with him?? Seimei at least had an intriguing personality that gave an odd justification for his plot laziness. Cos he’s an anti-villain who weirdly sees you all as friends or a mentor/student thing, and he’s really just pretending to be evil so that you’ll kill him, cos he can’t die and desperately wants to. So it makes sense that he doesnt do any of his evil actions until you arrive, cos the whole damn point was just to taunt you into arriving. And its nicely parodied cos he literally sends you tea party invitations to his latest evil plan and gets pissed off if you miss it XD i’m so sad for seimei plz say (mei) that we adopt him afterwards i wanted to adopt onigashira afterwards back when it looked like he was the not evil one of the pair I AM STILL REALLY SALTY THAT HE’S NOT!!!! HIS DESIGN IS REALLY COOL AND CUTE!!!!! AND HE WAS A COMIC RELIEF OLD MAN DEMON DRAGON DOOD!!! i trusted u

okay but to talk about why i am also HYPE i need to go into some endgame spoilers whoopy doop!

so yeah the twist of ‘evilman is actually just being controlled by his puppet dragon thing’ was WAY OBVIOUS and i was really wishing for it to not happen but they made up for it by having ANOTHER TWIST THAT’S WAY BETTER

random description of something else from the endgame that is cool but i dont really know where to fit it into this conversation lol you actually do get to fight Final Boss Seimei here, its a cool boss rush with him and then Super Onigashira Betrayal Mode but what I really like is that its an OPTIONAL boss rush! the first time you play it you fight seimei with his freaky spider legs superform, and then nueko steals it back cos it was hers first. Can i just say again that I love a sexy mom styled heroine who’s powers are entirely around growing friggin monsters out of her arms and stuff? Seriously way to subvert that fanservice bro! (its still a bit cringey when they show the monster tattoos being drawn on her butt and boobs...) so then you go into the second fight and your health has all been healed and now one party member has a new supermove (I was really pissed cos it didnt restore your MP and TP, so I couldnt use that move!) But then if you lose and come back it actually skips the first fight and has an altered cutscene that’s like ‘oh, you’re back for round two?’ and such. MUCH preferrable to stuff like kingdom hearts where i have to watch a damn ten minute cutscene each time! Tho I do wish there was an option to redo it in boss rush mode, I guess that’s just a reward for people who can get it on the first try. I’m prepared now thooooo... :(

OKAY BACK ON TOPIC

Now for this final arc of the story we’ve been investigating the mystery of the Nameless God, some dude in the past who was apparantly super great and then got erased from history. There’s also the mystery of who exactly was Nueko’s husband and what happened to separate her from Seimei and make him turn evil, tho i mean its PRETTY OBVIOUS his dad was this mystery god lol And even though its not really very much of a twist about his identity, its still really interesting how the whole thing is handled. Him being erased from history means that none of the characters can remember his name or face, but NEITHER CAN THE PLAYER! He appears in the interfaces long before the plot actually talks about him, as a silhouette and a name smudged out by ink.

Now the actually cool twist about him is that like.. we’ve been hearing for AGES about how great he was, and how someone must have put out a hit on him or something. And him being in the interface seems like a spoiler that he’s gonna be unlockable later as a godly husband candidate for your protagonists. And even when we see npc optional boss battle gods hating on him, it’s always the jerkass gods who have some sort of reason to be biased. Or (in retrospect) they’re hating him for entirely the wrong reasons based on other people’s flawed gossip about him. “He was too kind and if he made equality then I wouldn’t be rich!” says genericman mc gee, who is probably eighty times less evil than this man

COS THATS THE TWIST

He was an evil fucker and erased himself from history with essentially an alchemy equivelant of a mad science experiment gone wrong. And what happened with Nueko and Seimei was that evilbad mc trashdad tried to use his damn four year old child as raw materials for this experiment, and she tried and failed to save him. And then she was desperate and her only option left was to kill the kid so he couldnt be tortured like that, and then killed herself too from grief. But it all went horribly wrong because she didn’t know that the reason Seimei was a candidate for this experiment is because he had immortality powers as a half human half god. So the poor kid survived watching his mom stab him and then slit her own throat, and he had no clue it was because his dad was gonna kill him anyway, so he grows up hating her and missing her and being this big ol sad mess that’s easily manipulated by a fucko father...

COS THATS ALSO THE TWIST

ONIGASHIRA WAS DADS

WHAT HOW

DADS

And like if they were gonna reveal his entire funny cute sidekick personality to be completely false then I’m glad at least his real personality was Twisty Wow and Immensely Punchable like i still feel like i could never punch a cute puppet pal but i can surely punch an abusive father pretending to be his own son’s imaginary friend for twenty years and whispering bullshit in his ear just to drive him into his own grave and like POOR SEIMEI WANTED TO DIE JUST NOT LIKE THIS NOT LIKE THIIIIIIIISSSS

i still think that ‘hey i was made to be an evil superweapon demon dragon mask thing but i became sentient and decided to be a happy hugs jokeman’ would have been a really amazing character concept too either that or ‘hey it really is a harmless normal mask and i’m just super seriously angsty seimei doing ventriloquism as a hugs jokeman character because i’m lonely as fuck and please be my friend’ either of those would have been better than this but like if this is what we get then I’m at least glad they gave me good enough reason to feel ‘GAHH I WANNA STAB HIM AND SAVE MY NEW SON’ rather than just ‘oh blah this ending ruined my fave character, and i feel nothing towards anything now’

also his boss fight is really damn fuckin coolio wow like it was a HUGE WHOA MOMENT when the fight starts and his name is blanked out and you just instantly know who he was this whole time and your mind explodes that this guy was evil and then he’s like a giant buddha-esque multi armed dude doing sutra poses with a big ol spoopy demon head and then really fun classic gameplay of ‘him summon the many hands and u has to destroy the hands to get 2 him and then they regenerate after a short amount of time’ but he’s also got super hellish simultaneous buff and debuff powers and all sorts of other nasty tricks AND IM ON THE LOWEST DIFFICULTY GEEZ and like for some reason it really stabbed my heart seeing how just one of the many hands is still human, its like seimei’s still in there and maybe he might still be alive if we defeat this guy fast enough... and then the music is SO FUCKING GOOD and it has like three remixes for all his increasingly frantic stages. like he doenst actually have boss transformations for them, its just moveset changes and stat boosts as his health drops. but also the colours of the battlefield change and you get funky remix time so its still cool!

and then I was SO CLOSE, i had him down to 5% HP before he killed me T_T such a marathon boss and I was almost there... I’m really excited to try again tho! i finally got that damn curse off my inherited weapon from the first generation, and now i’m on generation 87, and now im ready to FUCK SOME SHIT UP! also my current party is all named after types of olives because i ran out of inspiration around character number 300 i am so fucking addicted to this grindy ass game!

[bathtubdefenseattorney]

thank you for the update!! it was amazing as usual. slow burn finally paid off. i have a few questions. are you still planning on 35 chapters? do you know where the rest of the plot goes or are you figuring it out as you write it? also i read your other fic half and it's amazing as well. can't wait for the next update for both fics.

AW THANK YOU NONNY. So…I wrote 34 chapters, the beginning through the end of the story, so I know all that happens. One of the “Fermi Paradox” chapters got expanded into like 2 separate chapters, so it does look like I’ll have at least 35 unless i condense something down. All in all, there will be less than 40. So we’re halfway done!

SPEAKING OF “HALF” the vamp fic half is SO MUCH FUN to write. I’ve already written two and a half more chapters. I know the end sooomewhat. The next several chapters I pretty much know what happens. It’s looking like there will be 20ish chapters to half? But of course the chapters are shorter than Flag (Flag chaps tend to be 6000 words apiece while the vampire fic looks like 2000-3000 words apiece).

Anyway, I’ll be experimenting with how to make it more of a multimedia experience. I’m gonna link to music videos (the first song is at the bottom of halfannie.tumblr.com actually). And I’ve claimed the ao3 username “halfannie” huhuhuhuhu so I’ll be utilizing that. And of course I’m making spoopy gifs!

thanks for your interest i love u and ur a star ★