#ugh these past few weeks i have been feeling super meh

[holofishes]

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[sarasa-cat]

Last week and this week have been extra…

Just… extra.

And I am so tired and trying to get my own stuff done but because I am the one with (a) a flexible schedule and (b) no pending professional deadlines this month, and because (c) my partner in crime is or has been suddenly juggling an epic shit load of (mostly or entirely) unexpected high stakes deadline driven shit, it’s just madness around here.

Add in last week’s jury duty from hell to just toss more backlog into all of this.

Also, normally partner does all of the dinner prep/cooking but hasn’t been able to do that for two weeks. And next week is also overbooked which basically means 3 full weeks of august screwed over.

So I have been doing all of both of our Adulting shit plus extra Adulting shit that had to be done (maintenance on major appliances we depend on) while making calls for tradespeople who are not available to do things that are desperately needed. Just ugh.

Our landscaping guy is never available and giant invasive plants that literally grow a fucking foot per day I shit you not are BACK AGAIN and threatening to cut off our mail/package delivery — and yes, the last time it took over we receive NO MAIL beyond a nasty note from USPS. So that was two backbreaking days of battle that did not go well. my eyes swelled up from allergies.

This evening I was hoping to simplify the rest of this week by stocking up on our favorite healthy(ish) fast meal. BUT our local grocery store was just … weirdly empty especially regarding EVERY SINGLE staple item I normally get plus all of the emergency “brain can’t think, no time to do anything but toss stuff in the steamer” meal items. Like just— wtf why so many barren empty shelves and half the freezer aisle empty even though all the freezers were physically working? and it was way too late for me to go somewhere else. I was soooooooo disappointed and ended up getting a few crappy overpriced deli items that won’t last long and will be meh. But at least we have insta food for tomorrow. :|

I just.

Really get why so many people have dropped out of the workforce or have dropped to working part time bc I swear to fuckjng gawd everything takes 99x more effort to do these days.

Passport photos, for instance (both are about to expire). Never a hassle in the before times.

Took me a half the month to find a place that could do it and was open when both of us were free. Half the fedex/kinkos I visited said their system for making passport photos was out of order and the other fedex stores I went to were CLOSED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON AND NOT OPEN ON WEEKENDS despite what their hours said online. And my partners schedule has suddenly been a complete fuckjng mess (as mentioned above) so finding time btwn 10a and 4:30p hasn’t been super easy especially when these fedex stores aren’t even open when they claim to be open according to their website.

Even stupid little things — small kitchen appliances and boring little house items are just becoming weirdly hard to find. Or really shitty quality.

Everyplace I go when running errands like that I just think — these stores feel barren and downgraded compared to the past. But then I look for stuff online and it’s even worse. Overpriced crap that is always a regret or stuff that sells out instantly and then it’s just “sorry, restocking.”

And don’t get me started with all of the rotting fresh fruit and veggies in the market.

And just try making an appointment as a new client or a new patient for anything. Dentist? Lol whatever. (One of my friends had the worst time finding appointments for a new vet for her kittens who needed to be scheduled to be spayed. Months of run around and no luck, and multiple cycles of them going into heat.)

The worst is that I have to keep my phone ringer on and that just means spam calls.

Phone rings: me hopeful that someone I need for something I need done is calling back.

Phone: spam call! Mwuahahaah.

Me: FML

I just feel exhausted all the time right now bc

Fuck

Just fuckjng fuck

I needed a long walk yesterday and was surprised how many storefronts are now empty or boarded up yet again.

And if this isn’t the visible results of economic downturn/recession than i don’t even want to see what a clusterfuck this will all become when the predicted recession hits.

Things are not economically well for much of anyone not on a solid regular salary (pay that is always the same and never calculated hourly) from what I can surmise and you cannot get anyone to do anything for you these days bc everyone seems to be in a state of fml. It’s just a giant chain of falling FML dominos.

Which is why I said I really get why many ppl have downsized their work hours or dropped out. Just living is a full time job these days and, actually, we have the money to pay for things. I am literally calling ppl saying “take my money plz just put us in your schedule for X.” I am really fuckjng tired— and cannot get enough of my own pro work done because of it. Bc the moment I am in the zone— ring ring— hopefulness— SPAM CALL!!!!! 😩

(This week: Sinks unclogged: 2; dishwasher pulled apart and unclogged plus boring cleaning and maintenance done: 1 — thank you dishwasher repair guy from 2 years ago who actually just showed us how to do it so I wouldn’t need his service despite being us being more than willing to pay for it bc who has the time or energy for kneeling on the floor in a twisted position for far too long? Isn’t this what service/repair ppl are for? Oh wait. Can’t get into their schedule anymore. Fml. )

[lovemesomesurveys]

What would you tell to your eighth grade self? Keep the friends you have. Also, stop hair spraying your bangs and making them stiff--it’s not cute.

What did your last text message read? “Thnx, and yes I got his text.” --My Nana.

Something you really want right now? Coffee and food.

Will you regret your next kiss? Uh, I hope not? Who knows when that will even be, though.

Do you like how things are going? No.

Are you a cuddler? Not really to be honest.

What are you doing tonight? Same stuff as always. My aunt ended up staying another night, but I think she’s going home tonight.

Three months ago, can you remember who you liked? I wasn’t interested in anyone 3 months ago. It’s been a few years, actually.

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? No. We never were.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? I mean, I certainly didn’t envision wasting away after graduating college almost 6 years ago now.

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? No.

What color was the last pill you took? White.

Do you believe “drunken words are sober thoughts”? Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just nonsense.

Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? My aunt. We’ve had a lot of deep conversations these past few days that she’s been staying with us. She and I are very close and she’s someone who easily opens up and shares a lot. I’m definitely more of the listener, but still.

Have you hung out with any guys recently? My brother.

How tall are you? About 5′4.

Who will you be with this Friday? Today is Friday and I’ll be with my family. As of now, my aunt is here as well but I think she’s going home tonight.

Last time you laughed really hard? I’ve laughed a lot these past few days with my aunt. More so than I have in awhile.

What are you currently listening to? Myself typing and my TV.

Who was the last person you had a face to face conversation with, apart from family? My doctor.

Have you ever wasted too much time on a guy/girl? I don’t consider it time wasted despite things not working out. What are you looking forward to? Right now, I’m thinking about eating lol. 

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nope.

A lyric from the song you’re listening to? I’m not listening to music.

What was the last thing you and your parents argued about? We last bickered a bit about some stuff I was being stubborn about and should have been doing regarding health related things but I wasn’t. 

Would you tattoo someone’s name on your body? No.

Have you ever let someone be your everything? Yes.

Do you bite your nails? I don’t bite them, but I pick them and use nail clippers constantly. 

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in their arms? Zero.

Do you hate the last person you kissed? No, not at all. 

How do you feel about your hair right now? Ugh. It’s a mess and in serious need of a dye job.

Whose hoodie did you wear last? My own.

Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in? Nah.

Whose birthday is coming up? My brother’s was yesterday. Next up is my dad’s next month.

Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I tried to be, but I couldn’t.

The doctors just told you that you are pregnant - what’s your first thought? They clearly mixed me up with someone else cause that’s impossible. There’s zero chance.

Who was the last person you hugged? My aunt.

Do you have any saved texts? all of my texts save unless i delete them. <<< Yeah, the phone just keeps them. I’ve never deleted any.

Anything you want to tell someone but can’t? Meh.

What’s the last thing you drank? Water.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? I don’t have friends.

Do you like pulp orange juice? I don’t like orange juice at all. Or any juice.

Do you prefer the tanning bed or sun? I don’t go tanning, but I’d just try to get one from the sun if I wanted to. I do get a tan whenever I go to the beach since I actually spend a significant amount of time outside when I go. That’s the only time.

Who was the last person you talked to last night? My aunt.

When was the last time you cried? About a week ago.

Where are your siblings? My younger brother is at work and I’m assuming my older brother is at home.

What about your mom and dad? My mom is here at home and my dad is at work.

Can you go in public looking like you do? Ew, no.

Would your parents care if you came home at 4am? No; I’m 31 years old. They’d be concerned, though. Especially since I never go anywhere or hang out with anyone anymore. If I was out that late it would definitely be unusual. However, I would have checked in to let let them know cause that’s how we are in my family.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? No.

What will you be doing tomorrow? Same stuff, different day.

What’d you have for dinner last night? I had Wingstop. 

Did you eat all of it? No, but a lot of it.

What temperature is it outside right now? 48F.

What color’s your hair? It’s dark brown naturally, but I’ve been dyeing it red. However, I’m a year overdo so my roots are quite overgrown and it’s like half and half now. :X

Do you like flowers? Sure.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up? Checked the time.

What kind of booze did you last take shots of? It was likely tequila. I haven’t drank in 8 years, so I don’t really remember.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yes. 

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? I’m sad I didn’t get to see Linkin Park with Chester. :(

When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? Hmm. It’s been awhile, actually.

What color were the last pair of headphones/earphones you bought? I didn’t buy them, they were a gift, but they’re black.

How many people do you live with? Are these people related to you? 3 and yes, they’re my parents and brother.

Are you a confident person, or do you keep to yourself usually? I’m not confident at all.

Do you wash your own clothes? No, I need help with that so my mom does it.

Are you afraid of thunderstorms? No, I like them.

What type of soups do you like? I’m a ramen gal, but broccoli and cheddar soup is pretty good.

Would you go 2 days without eating for $200? I’ve gone a day without eating and a couple or so days with very little food because I was sick or having appetite issues, which I have a lot. If I was feeling like that I could do it. But there’s times my body feels like it’s starving and acts all dramatic even if it hasn’t been long since I last ate, so in that case it would be really hard to do.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Not that I know of.

Can you cook? I can make a good bowl of ramen, ha.

Have you dated the person you texted last? Uh, no. That’s my Nana...

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? I’ve gone almost 10 years since the last time and when I did do it it wasn’t a regular thing, so yeah I think I could. I haven’t had any desire to do it.

When’s the last time someone made you feel like you mattered? My family does that.

Do graveyards thrill or terrify you? Neither.

What’s the next thing you have to do that you’re dreading? My next doctor appointment.

Do you ever wear polos? No.

Do you look pretty today? No. Not today or any day. 

Are you going out of town soon? No.

Who was the last person to make you mad? My doctor.

Do you have nightmares often? No, thankfully.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope.

Will you be in a relationship in 50 days? No. 

What happened last time you got drunk? I got really drunk and then threw up on myself in front of my friends and it was super embarrassing. My best friend at the time thankfully helped me clean up, but still. Ugh, it was awful. I was so sick that whole night and felt like shit the next day. I don’t know what happened that night because I honestly don’t remember drinking that much. I don’t know if I had a bad interaction with my medicine or what I did drink was really strong. I was completely turned off to alcohol after that, though, and haven’t drank since.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yeah, I don’t share drinks or food. Like, I’ll break off/cut/pour out what I’m eating and share that way, but I don’t let people bite off my food or use my utensil and vice versa. 

Do you want to know the date of your death? Absolutely not.

Do you miss the way things used to be? I miss the way a lot of things used to be.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Many times.

Do you like being called babe? Not really.

Is the last person you kissed more than 2 years older than you? No, he’s a year younger than me.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings, no. 

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person that kissed you? No.

Honestly if you could go back 9 months and change something, would you? Yes.

When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. I don’t see that happening anytime soon at all.

Were you happier 7 months ago or now? Neither then or now. 

Have you ever just felt like you could cry an ocean? Yeppp.

Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes. I don’t plan on getting married, but even IF I did I would still want to see how things go living together first.

Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? My best friend is my mom, who is with my dad.

Who do you have texts from in your inbox? Mostly from my parents, especially my mom, but some from my brother, some from my Nana, some from my aunt, and some old ones from one of my cousins.

What time did you wake up today? I first fell asleep around 3AM, woke up at 530AM for a bit, fell asleep until like 730ish, and then fell asleep again until like 9 and I’ve been up ever since (it’s 10:27AM now). Sighhhh. I hate when I get up off and on like every hour or so  like that and hardly get any sleep at all. I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep. :(

Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago? Most definitely. I’ve changed a lot and not in a good way. 

What were you doing at 4 am? Sleeping.

Do you reply to all of your texts? No, not all. It depends on the text. Not all need a reply or I just didn’t for whatever reason.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Bananas or chocolate.

What were you doing before you got on the computer? Sleeping.

What is the last thing you said out loud? Something to my aunt last night.

Today, would you rather go forward a week or back? Forward.

Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car? Hand over the cash, please!

How bad are your hangovers? I had a few bad ones. The worst was definitely after the time I talked about earlier. 

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out? I’m fine with it during the day, but I wouldn’t be at night.

Do you have any bruises on you? I don’t think so.

Is your last ex currently in a relationship? I don’t know.

Is there anything in your room that reminds you of the past memories? Uh, yeah. Like everything.

How do you respond to being nervous? I get very fidgety and squirmy and anxious. I mess with my nails, I bite my lips, I play with my hair, twiddle my thumbs. My heart rate goes up. I have a hard time breathing. My stomach feels like its in knots. I sweat. ...not a fun time.

Who is the most recent addition to your contacts? I don’t even recall the last time I added a new contact.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? My mom has a purple heart.

Where was the last place you went besides your house? The doctor.

Have you ever thrown a cell phone in anger? No.

Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you? I’m not wearing one.

Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Haaaa, no.

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with an A? Nope.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone & what did you talk about? My mom when she called the other day to see if I wanted her to stop by somewhere on her way home to get me something to eat.

Do you have tan lines? No.

How are you feeling? Right now I’m tired and hungry. I also feel kind of sick cause I took my medicine on an empty stomach, which bothers me more sometimes than others. Today seems to be one of those times. :/

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Listened to ASMR and scrolled through Tumblr.

Ever feel like you’re not good enough? Many times. It’s been a constant feeling these past few years.

Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? Yeah.

How many funerals have you been to? Three.

Movies or bowling? Movies.

At the beginning of September who were you "with"? I was single.

Is there a girl you can tell anything to? I could, yes.

What do the majority of people in your life call you? Steph.

Do you dye your hair? I get it done at the salon.

If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? I’d have to pay off my debt first and foremost.

Something you really want right now? I should drag myself outta bed and try to eat something.

Would you prefer being locked in a room with the person you like or best friend? My best friend, which is my mom.

What color shirt are you wearing? I’m wearing a black sweatshirt.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip piercing? No.

Has anyone told you they were in love with you? My first boyfriend (and technically only).

Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit? Noooo. I have a hard time with even my own.

Name a time you thought you were going to die? During my last surgery my blood pressure dropped dangerously low and the doctors freaked out.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? No, not always.

Have you ever kissed a blue-eyed person? Yes.

[olympiansally]

13, 14, 15, 16 Horrible asks, please?

The ask game @seventhfracture is talking about is this!

Thank you for sending these sweetie!!

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Ohhhh yeah! It’s healthy to have a little hatred jsiwksiakskwkk but it’s mostly like very despicable ppl like ugh my countries fascist dictator “president” or hm jeff bezos and other real like super villain types like that who have all the evil and none of the super villain flair lmao but there are some other ppl who piss me off immensely for smaller reasons like one asshole teacher, a stuck up piece of shit from my class that sabotaged our group project because they lost on the theme, my mom’s homophobic friend... alright maybe i hate quite a few ppl alright alright i can be bitchy jaiwksiwkakaia

14: Do you miss someone?

Aaahhh yes!! A lot of ppl actually and in very different ways! I’m desperately missing my family right now because covid made me unable to travel to visit them so i haven’t seen them in over a year and i usually try to travel to see them pretty often! I have a pretty big family but everyone other than my sister and my parents lives in my home state so i’m missing them a lot currently!! I also miss ppl that i used to be close to but am not anymore, but that might be my romantic self wanting life long friendships and idealizing things from the past so who knows kajskwksisk

15: Have any pets?

Yes!! They don’t live with me but they will always be mine <3 which probably sounds confusing lmao but my sister moved out earlier this year and our dogs went with her :( but it’s ok! I visit them all the time and my babies miss me too but that just means they get super clingy when i visit and i’m very ok with that!!

Here, you can have a photo of the happy little criminal baby and the grumpy but loving and well behaved old lady featuring a sock they stole on the background jsiwksisksisksks

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Hmm to be honest i’m not feeling all that great :( i’m mostly okay but i’m a bit meh i guess? I had a bit of a hard time this week and i’ve been feeling a bit sad or just unmotivated i think? But i’ll be okay soon!! I just have to try to do some fun stuff and cheer myself up and it will be fine!!

Sorry to give a bit of a downer response but i didn’t want to lie :(

But i promise i’ll be back to my goofy silly self soon jsiwjsiaisisksia

Thank you so much for sending these 🥰

[purplesurveys]

996

This is originally an ask game that’s making the rounds here on Tumblr, but in this blog of course I answer everything. Quarantine Ask Game; questions by ghostly-nblm What’s your go-to snack? I haven’t really have one throughout this lockdown. I just snack on whatever’s available in our pantry - usually we have potato chips, salted egg chips, nuts, etc. And then sometimes my dad will whip up something for us himself, like wicked Oreos, churros, corndogs, and chocolate chip cookies. What’s a movie you could watch over and over? I could probably watch The Proposal everyday for the rest of my life and I doubt you’ll hear a complaint out of me. It’s just so funny, so lighthearted, and the entire cast meshes very well together. Favorite show to binge? Again when it comes to comfort shows/movies, I pick the lighthearted ones because they get me to relax and laugh a lot. That said, my favorite show to binge would be Friends. I recently started binge-watching it again and it feels good to come back to it after several months of not seeing an episode. 5 songs that make you want to dance? Shut Up And Dance - Walk the Moon Cinnamon - Hayley Williams Don’t Start Now - Dua Lipa Caught in the Middle - Paramore 7/11 - Beyoncé So, basically, Top 40 shit because it’s that genre that produces the most dance-y songs anyway. Pls don’t judge lmaaaaaao I like other artists I swear

5 songs that make you feel less lonely? I don’t know if I’ve ever turned to music to feel less lonely...I never really seek out that particular feeling. If anything, I listen to certain songs because I feel alone and I would want it to stay that way for the meantime.

Favorite meal to cook yourself? I always blank out at these cooking questions because I don’t know how to make anything, soz. When I start earning my own money I swear I’ll start experimenting with ingredients in the kitchen. You heard it here first. Seriously guys, when I finally get a stable income and you notice me spending it on unnecessary shit, feel free to nag me and tell me to start cooking!!! How do you “treat yourself”? With food. Food has always been my reward to myself after a long week, a hard exam, a bloody presentation, and basically after getting through something I had been dreading for a long time.   Favorite thing to do when doing self care? Surveys. Who have you been talking to the most? My family, I guess. “The most” is really pushing it though; I don’t talk a lot these days and it’s been difficult for me to sustain a conversation and not drain my battery in the middle of it. One thing you really miss right now? The past. I normally don’t think about it, but if there’s something from the past that I do miss, I end up pining hard for it. If you could be self-isolated with anyone who would it be? Angela. We haven’t seen one another in seven months so we could definitely do with spending seven months together lmao. We miss the shit out of each other. Do you have any pets? Yes :) Small update on my dogs: so for the last four months Kimi has hated having Cooper around and snarls every time he senses he’s nearby. But, and we have no clue what changed, now he has started humping Cooper and wants to be near him all the time...ugh. Favorite video games? At the early early phase of the lockdown I played Mario Kart 8 on the Switch all day long. Then for some reason I stopped and I haven’t played since like April. I haven’t played other video games. Favorite podcasts? Ear Biscuits. Andi has also started their own podcast and it debuted like a week ago; it looks extremely promising, but I’m super behind since I’ve deleted all my socials. I’ll catch up once I’m in the right state of mind and am feeling better enough to come back on my accounts. Favorite YouTubers? The main channels I watch are Good Mythical Morning and The Try Guys. But throughout the quarantine sooooooo many local celebrities have started their own vlog channels and majority of them are super fun to watch. My faves would be Andi Manzano’s, Manny Pacquiao’s daughter Mary’s, and Bea Alonzo’s. Wake up time? These days I try to be out of bed by 8:30 so I can sufficiently prepare and clean up for work, but early on in the lockdown I liked staying up all night and then waking up at like 9 or 10 AM. Sleep time? Anywhere from 10 PM to 1 AM. If you could go anywhere right now where would it be? I’d be in Sagada, vacationing by myself and doing some hiking, spelunking, reflecting, and soul-searching. I wish I can go back there someday; I just reallllly need to be out of the house and out of the city for a while.

What’s a change you want to keep when self isolation is over? There is nothing I wish to keep from this quarantine. It turned my entire life around and I wish I had all the things I had before it instead. Have you learned something? Yeah. Some of them the hard way. Any new skills? I took up a course on marketing last month so that was a lot of fun. Hobby-wise, I’ve been thinking of getting into cross-stitching so I can’t wait to buy my own kit and start with that. I’m also learning a lot of new and super helpful skills at work, like coming up with PR tactics/executions, knowing what will work for a client and what wouldn’t, photo editing, etc. It’s been the best internship experience ever. What’s a hobby you’d like to start learning? ^ The latter. I’d also love to learn how to bake, and maybe? start a vlog because it’d be nice to have an outlet where I can express myself and do new things while sharing my experiences with other people. What’s something you’d like to get better at? I constantly want to improve at my job because perfectionism. What food do you wish you had right now? Coffee shop pastries. :( God I haven’t had one of those in a while; I miss them loads. Your go to quarantine outfit? I don’t have one but man, when I do go out I tend to overdress because I rarely get an opportunity or have a reason to drive out these days, so I allow myself to look cute and all dressed up even if I’m just meant to pick up food at my grandma’s or something. What have you done today? I’ve been taking this survey, taken a shower, cried for a half hour, played with Cooper, cradled Kimi like a baby, checked my emails, and taken a few sips of coffee. Any plans for tomorrow? Work work work. What’s on your “to watch” list? The second volume of Unsolved Mysteries is finally out on Netflix so I’m hoping I get around to watching a few episodes soon. Any musicians/bands you’ve discovered? Most recent one was Chase Atlantic but I discovered them like back in July. Since I’m not listening to a lot of music these days, I’m not expecting to find new bands or singers to get into any time soon. Post a selfie right now!! Eh. Post pictures of your pets! I don’t feel like raking through my photos this morning. Maybe some other time. When was the last time you drank water? Last night at dinner. When was the last time you ate? Last night. When was the last time you got up and stretched? I can’t remember when I last did that. I usually stretch in bed, though.

Favorite song right now? This has been asked on every damn survey recently. I’m sure you’ll find my answer within the first page of my blog. Favorite social media to scroll through? It used to be Twitter until the lockdown hit and everyone stopped going out and having interesting updates. Before I deactivated everything, I loved spending time on Facebook. What’s the last thing you ate? A slice of pizza. What’s the weather like where you are? It’s a little cloudy and cold. I’m expecting it to rain today. Have you been playing animal crossing? No, but I know so many people who have been. How are you feeling? 50% meh, 50% just going through the motions. Who’s the last person you texted? Ate Alyanna. We’re both going through rough patches at the moment so we were cheering one another up. I needed that positivity a lot this morning and I’m glad we had that interaction. What does your last text message say with no context? ”Waaaaaaaa cute” Post a meme that made you laugh recently:

Outdoor activity you’d like to do right now? Hiking, mountain climbing, camping. Anything that’ll help me get disconnected from the world for a few days, really. Something you’re looking forward to when quarantine is over? Doing all those ^, traveling, being able to actually go to a workplace (once I have one), seeing my friends, going to bars again. Someone you’d like to see when quarantine is over? Everybody, man. I don’t give a shit as to who it is. Any new games coming out you want to play? Not really. I’m just waiting on GTA 6 even though there’s been like 0 updates on that front. New shows you’ve discovered? I revisited The Crown, but that’s it. I haven’t discovered anything new. Most comfortable piece of clothing you have? I find all of them comfortable; that’s why I wear them at home haha.

[szopenhauer]

What was your last dream about? pamiętam tylko tyle, że M. powinna uważać na jej byłego

Would you like to build/design your own house? yes

Do you have a cherished childhood teddy bear? it’s not really a teddy but yeah

Are you psychic in any way? it seems

Are you a good dancer? meh

Are you a good singer? nooo

Are you a good cook? not the worst

Are you a good artist? maybe

Are you a good listener? try to be 

Are you a good public speaker? but don’t like to 

Are you a good babysitter? might be but hate that

Are you a good dresser? have my own style

Are you a good comedian? I’m funny :P

Are you a good cleaner? not good enough

Are you a good actor? I am

Are you a good writer? just like to write

Do you ever get chills & goosebumps when you listen to music? tell me about it...

What was the last song that had that effect on you? not sure which was last

Do you know what any of your siblings did over the weekend? I don’t care

Was the last book you read a hardback or paperback? paperback

What was the last thing you required the use of a spoon for? I was eating breakfast

The last time you ate something, was it in a bowl or on a plate? neither XD

Can you recall the last time you held hands with someone? I can

What was the last thing that made your heart melt? hmm...

Can you recall the last time you visited a bookshop? not the exact day but yep

Did you purchase anything? I don’t think so

Have you been wearing homemade masks or store-bought ones? both

Do you call yourself stupid a lot? sometimes

Are you listening to music right now? not rn

What is your newest favorite website? aliexpress?

Do you have a headache right now? had before today

What month is your birthday, and what month would u change it to if you could?  February and would like June, July or August that’s why I will spend my name day during summer instead of spring with my sister

Have you ever had to use an epi pen? not yet

Do you know the names of 3 of your neighbors? (list if you can): personal

What was the last grocery store you shopped at?

Do memories from your past come back to haunt you ? frequently

Have you ever seen an angel? or a ghost

Have you ever seen a demon? that time in a mirror?...

What color was the last sweatshirt you wore? grey

What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Vinnie’s tiny bird next to her signature?

Do you ever find yourself just writing/typing out your feelings? my tumblr is full of this shit

Whose house were you at last, besides your own? my current partner’s

Do you like your teeth? not really

Does piano music tend to calm you down? wouldn’t say so

What’s something you need to get done soon? ugh...

Is your best friend awake right now? they are

If I came to your house, could I find any kind of chocolate? ask my mother

Who was the last person to upload a picture with you in it? M.

Do you ever wear sleep masks when you sleep or shower caps when you shower? neither

Don’t tell me lies, so where’s your man? where’s Nat? XD

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? dad

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? yasss

Have you ever kissed under water? hell no

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a M? hahaha

Would you kiss the last person who texted you, on the lips? done and I hopefully will

Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends? hotel 

Could you go the rest of your life without a cigarette? absolutely

Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have? like health

How is your boyfriend/girlfriend doing and where are they now? she’s angry, has a flu and she’s working

What was the last topic you read about? DID?

Do you prefer Windows or Mac? Windows

What’s the best amusement park ride you’ve ever been on? I’m not a fan of rides tbh

Would you know how to read a house blueprint? partially?

Do you keep notes on your phone? What sort of things do you write? used to on my old cell

Do you remember much from high school? tought so

Has anyone ever come out to you? yup

What was the last album you listened to in full? Red army choir or Anastasis?

Do you have Disney+? we don’t

Have you ever sent a package or letter to a foreign country? postcards

How many jobs do you have on your resume? 0

Are you comfortable with leaving the house without any makeup on?: I don’t wear makeup

Do you have any expensive hobbies?: if I had money...

What length do you like to keep your nails at?: short

Have you ever felt physical pain in a dream?: but not as much as Nat 

Have you ever had Christmas carolers come to your house and sing for you?: when I was a kid

What’s your favorite Studio Ghibli film?: Porco Rosso?

What did you learn from your last failed relationship?: can we not talk about it...

What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done?: I’m a huge procrastinator

Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it?: collages

What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)?: period, being able to get pregnant and have female kinds of cancer etc.

What movie has the best special effects?: I’m into practical special effects more than cgi but... there’s too many to name

When did you last have a vision test?: ages ago 

[canaryatlaw]

OKAY LET’S GO. today was a lot closer to good than days have been in a while, so that’s definitely a good sign. Up at 8:45, ended up arguing a motion in court (though the other side hadn’t showed up so it wasn’t very contested or anything but the judge had doubts based on some of the facts, but we convinced her to grant it considering past actions and future intentions, so I was very pleased we accomplished that today, because I really didn’t know if we were even going to be able to present it today. I also had a short check in about a case I had last week that had gotten an OP but when I was emailing the court the draft of the order filled out with all I info I accidentally attached the file with the Zoom codes instead and didn’t realize that until afterwards, so I just explained that to the judge and emailed them the right file right then so they can confirm they got it (and they did). So that was taken care of. There were a bunch of cases running around right now, and I have a bunch of ongoing cases we’re considering for representation at our meeting tomorrow, and I swear every single one has found a way to be off the fucking wall crazy which has meant so many emails, it’s just been a LOT to see the least, as well as other clinic cases that are taking days to solve because unique issues they have. I was supposed to accompany a client to a hearing this morning but when I called the front desk they were like oh we already sent her up and did the case which was irritating but the client got the order granted so I can’t complain that much. but yeah, around 11 or so I got a message from friend saying they officially tested negative which is great!! and then was like let’s get Taco Bell haha and I was like give me an hour to wrap some of this up and then we can go, so a little over an hour later (because my work computer that I have to remote into is so fucking slow) she picked me up and we headed to Taco Bell. I got whatever their new box thing was and upon taking it out of the bag (I think it was a giant quesadilla basically?) I was kind of like meh maybe I should’ve stuck with the chalupas, but it actually was really good so I was pleased with that decision. I wanted to go to Target then haha just because I never fucking get out and I was gonna do a grocery order tomorrow but there were a few things I needed that I couldn’t get from the grocery store so we walked around a bit and picked up a few things (and my favorite ice cream that’s ridiculously expensive but so fucking good, and a tub of cotton candy ice cream as well for good measure). I could feel my legs getting a little testy but managed to avoid any incidents so that was good. Up to this point I wasn’t having issues really while walking around indoors at a shop or something, but now that’s in my head so I’m super conscious of it and I think that could definitely trigger it for me, so I’m pretty annoyed about that but there’s not much else I can do at this point. ugh. but yeah, we check out and I get dropped off back at home and spend a few hours finishing up my work for the day to make up for the somewhat extended lunch I took haha I usually just eat lunch while working so going out for lunch isn’t actually very common. but yeah, I got a lot of stuff done but there’s still some work I have to do tomorrow morning before our afternoon meeting with waiting on papers to be sent in and trying to get information. but yeah, after I finished up working I watched a few episodes of Chicago Fire which I’m enjoying, it reminds me of some other shows I’ve liked in the past with similar circumstances (I was hardcore obsessed with Third Watch circa like 2005?) so that’s been good, and I really like seeing a show set in Chicago that actually films here haha when I lived downtown there was always notices going around about different streets being blocked off for a period of time for them to shoot there, so they’re very much in the middle of the action, and I know the undergrad program at the school I attended liked them a lot because they would regularly hire their theatre majors as regulars haha so I’m sure that’s been helpful for them. A bit after 10 when an episode ended I switched over to the news and then Jimmy Fallon, we know normally I’m a Kimmel girl, but they were advertising Fallon would be with BTS tonight, though I’m actually pretty it was a repeat so I don’t know what they were doing there, but seeing the song at least was nice. Not long after that I decided to shower and start getting ready for bed, and then of course wasting way too much time doing nothing meaningful or important and now I’m here and that’s where we’re at. It’s getting close to 1:30 and I do have court in the morning, so I will end this here and get some sleep now. Goodnight my peeps. Stay awesome.

[lady-divine-writes]

Coldflash one-shot - “Fatherhood” (Rated PG13)

Summary:

It's been six weeks since the arrival of baby Lisa, and Len isn't exactly handling things well. He seems to be pulling away from his husband and daughter, acting less like himself, and Barry is beginning to wonder - did they make a mistake bringing a baby into their lives? (2313 words)

Notes: So, I would put this at the super beginning of the series. Just a peek into where they began, and some of the issues Len had with the idea of being a father.

Part 7 of Father-hood

Read on AO3.

“Waaaahhhhh!”

…

“Waaaahhhhh!”

…

“WAAAAHHHHH!”

“AAAAHHH! Barry!”

“What?” Barry grumbles, barely opening his eyes even though he’s wide awake.

“Your daughter’s up, and she’s calling you.”

“She’s our daughter. But if you want to get technical, biologically, she’s your daughter. Probably why she complains so damned much ...”

“Waaaahhhhh!”

“Ugh!” Len rolls onto his stomach, dragging his pillow over his head. “Why were we so flippin’ eager to bring her home anyway? The hospital staff had this baby care thing on lock. We could have gone back and picked her up when she was what? Three? Four?”

“Len!”

“Waaaahhhhh!”

“Or you know what?” Len continues. “Felicity’s her mom. Why can’t she take her for the night shift and we pick her up in the morning?”

“We have full custody! That’s how surrogates work! Besides, Felicity lives all the way in Star City!”

“You say there like you can’t zip over there in three seconds and back.”

“Not with Lisa. It’s not safe for the baby.”

“How do you know if you don’t even try?”

“Waaaahhhhh!”

“I mean, Cisco can just whip up a pod or something you can carry her in and …”

“Come on, big guy.” Barry gives Len a shove that about shoots him out of bed. “Time’s a-wasting.”

“What? Me?”

“A-ha.”

“I’m not even awake yet!”

“You’re talking to me.”

“It only takes half a brain cell to hold a conversation with you.”

“Waaaahhhhh!”

“You know the drill.” Barry climbs out of bed, dragging Len by the arm. “She either needs a change or a bottle.”

“See? You’ve got it all figured out.” Len struggles against Barry’s iron grip in an attempt to scurry back under the covers, but he’s not going to win. Regardless of his deceptively slender frame, Barry has that pesky Speed Force on his side. It may not be the same as super strength, but the way Barry manipulates it, it does tip the balance in his favor. “So why don’t you just have at it.”

“Because, Len. It’s your turn!”

“Oh, come on, Bare!” Len wrenches his arm free, but only because his husband lets him go. “You can run in there, change her, rock her back to sleep, and be back here in ten seconds flat. I don’t get what the problem is!”

“Because that’s not the way we should do it! It’s been six weeks already, and I can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve gotten up to take care of her. Waking up in the middle of the night is a pain in the ass, but it’s also important. It’s a chance to bond with our baby!”

“I’ll bond with her during daylight hours,” Len grumbles, staring wistfully at their mussed bed with its comfy sheets and blankets.

“Waaaahhhhh!”

“It’s daylight somewhere.” Barry puts his husband in a halfhearted half-nelson and leads him to the nursery. Len stops resisting. Better to get this over with so he can get his ass back to sleep. He needs about eighteen hours of it to keep up with their baby. That’s part of why he’s making such a big fuss about getting out of bed.

Having baby Lisa in the house, Len feels himself slowing up.

Len’s not an idiot. He knows he’s getting on in years, but he doesn’t want to admit it. Who does? Hooking up with Barry on the sly, and then marrying him, had been such an ego boost in that department. To have a man half his age want him made Len feel like a teenager again. And a superhero to boot? If Len’s head gets any bigger, he won’t be able to fit into his t-shirts. But whereas Barry doesn’t seem to ever run down, Len finds himself getting winded more and more every day. Len has spent the past few decades planning heists, running from the cops, fighting Team Flash, even rescuing the crew of the Waverider and multiple Earths from destruction.

It took becoming a father to make him feel his age.

“Waaaahhhhh!”

Three steps into Lisa’s room and the two men know exactly what’s bothering their baby.

“Phew!” Len groans, head jerking involuntarily to the side. “Good night! What have you been feeding her, Bare? Gravy?”

“Baby formula.”

“Is it expired?”

“No,” Barry says, offended, though he never thought to check. That can’t be the issue. He bought it yesterday. Baby poop just smells … a lot.

“Waaaahhhhh! Waa-AAHHHHH!”

Lisa’s wails seem to rise in pitch when her fathers enter the room. Len expects Barry to blow past him and rescue their screaming infant, but he doesn’t. Len looks over his shoulder at Barry, of absolutely no help whatsoever, then back to his daughter, miserable and probably as exhausted as he is, with a load of wet yuck stuck to her butt.

“She needs you, Len,” Barry whispers.

“I don’t see why when she’s got you.”

“She needs the both of us. And right now, you’re up. Do your thing.”

“You want me to steal her a diamond?”

“Change. your. daughter. I’m not letting you put a foot back into bed until you do.”

Len sighs. All he wants at the moment is to climb into bed and slip back into the open arms of unconsciousness, but his obnoxious husband won’t let him. Tomorrow. He’d be awake and raring to go tomorrow. He glances at the Strawberry Shortcake clock hanging on the wall. 2 a.m. He sighs deeper. It is tomorrow. “Fine,” he says, trudging toward the crib. “I’m on it.”

Barry leans against the door frame and watches as his adorably grumpy husband plods across their daughter’s pastel pink throw rug, gathering things he’ll need as he goes. Normally Barry would toss himself on the grenade and do it, but Len hasn’t been himself lately. He’s not quite as witty, definitely not as devious. He sleeps more than usual, he has no appetite, and he stresses over the tiniest things. Plus, his sex drive has gone straight into the toilet.

The first two weeks after Lisa came home, things went fine. They had a rhythm going. They traded off duties - Barry went to work at STAR Labs during the day and Len stayed home with the baby. When Barry came home, he took over with Lisa so Len could have some time to himself. Len has other pursuits. Team Flash and Green Arrow both pick his brain as their ‘resident criminal consultant’, but he said he was perfectly happy as a stay-at-home dad. They began to feel like real parents. But bit by bit, something in Len started to drift away. He didn’t always answer his phone, and Barry found himself racing home to check on him. Things would be fine when he got there – Lisa fed and content, the house generally clean, but Len …

Some days he’d be working himself to the point of exhaustion. Other days, he’d be staring at Lisa with an unreadable expression on his face.

He just wasn’t Len anymore.

Looking at the situation through the lens of a scientist, Len seems to be suffering from postpartum depression. It wouldn’t be too unusual. Paternal postpartum depression is rare, but it does happen. And Len has the classic signs. He’s irritable. He seems at a loss in his role as a parent, determined every time the baby cries that something’s wrong with her.

Or that she hates him.

He doesn’t show up uninvited to STAR Labs anymore, nor has he tried to break into The Foundry in weeks.

He’s been pulling farther and farther away from life as a whole.

Barry would welcome finding out that Len had PPPD. At least, if Barry knew the cause of his behavior, they could decide on a course of action – medication, meditation, therapy.

Whatever’s going on with him, Barry has been praying Len isn’t regretting their decision to bring Lisa into their lives.

“Okay, little bug,” Len mumbles, negotiating their daughter’s kicky feet and unbuttoning her onesie, holding his breath when he breaches the seal of cotton holding back the bulk of the stench. “Let’s see what’s going on … good Lord!” Len pulls a face, blowing a raspberry through tight lips. Lisa stops crying. She stops kicking. She stares up at her father with wide, wet eyes and an o-shaped mouth.

“You need to stop eating cement, girl,” Len continues in a softer, teasing voice. “We can pave the streets with this BM.”

Lisa waves closed fists. Her lips tremble. Barry takes a step forward, afraid she might burst into tears again, but she doesn’t. The corners of her mouth lift slightly. It’s not the biggest or the brightest smile. It could also be gas. But when Len sees it, his whole face lights up in a way that Barry has been missing for weeks.

“Yeah. You might have your Papa beat in the full of poop department.”

Barry’s smile drops when he remembers that Len refers to him as Papa in front of Lisa. “Hey!”

“There you go,” Len coos as he cleans Lisa up and puts a new diaper on, wrapping the old one and tossing it in the trash without looking. “That’s it. Nice and clean. Feels a lot better, don’t it?”

Lisa kicks her legs in response and Len chuckles, carefully sliding one leg at a time back inside her onesie. He buttons her up, then wraps her in her blanket, swaddling her meticulously the way the nurses at the hospital taught them. He considers her a minute, rocking her with his palm pressed lightly against her tummy, but then he picks her up and walks the room with her, swaying in a lazy two-step towards the rocking chair in the corner.

“You know, if you leave her, she’ll probably go back to sleep.”

“Meh, I’m already awake, and I don’t think I’m going back anytime soon thank you very much.” Len slides into the wooden chair, setting it rocking back and forth with his heels buried into the rug. Barry smiles, watching the loves of his life sit together in silence – Lisa blinking up at her dad with drooping eyelids, Len gazing at his daughter as if she’s the biggest payoff he’s ever scored.

“Feeling any better?” Barry asks, padding across the room to be closer to the two of them.

“A little bit … maybe. The jury’s still out.”

“You know, you’re really good at this.”

��You think so?” Len swallows hard. “Because sometimes I wonder if …” He stops himself short of spilling his guts and giving voice to every doubt he’s had since little Lisa came home. She’s nothing like his sister was when her parents brought her home, that’s for sure. Regardless of Lisa Snart now, Lisa as a baby rarely made a peep. Or maybe he’s just not remembering things clearly. A dark cloud seemed to descend on their house shortly after, one that moved into his brain, obscuring certain details he’d rather not relive. No, his boisterous daughter is nothing like his sister, name notwithstanding.

He just prays that, in the long run, he’s nothing like his father.

“Well, this daddy thing has its moments, I guess.”

“Yes, sir.” Barry bites his tongue. Close. He was so close. But whatever’s bothering Len is in there somewhere. And if Len wants to talk about it, he will. Barry just has to give him time.

“Hey, I know she just dropped a huge deuce, but do you think … she might be hungry?”

“I don’t think so.” Barry puts a gentle finger to her lower lip to see if she’ll suck, but she doesn’t. Her eyelids flutter shut. She takes a deep breath in, lets it out, and just like that, she’s asleep.

In under a minute, and with no Speed Force powers necessary.

“I’m hungry,” Len says.

And even though Barry is thrilled that Len’s hungry after days of living on pretzel rods and Near Beer, he recoils. “How the hell can you be hungry with that smell still hanging in the air?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it. My hunger knows no bounds.”

“Neither does this stench.” Barry yanks the waste basket liner out of the trash, eyes flashing with a thin thread of red electricity.

Len’s brows pull together. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t want this in the house.” Barry’s voice cracks, static echoing as he phases with energy.

“Shhh! You’re gonna wake the baby!”

Barry steps out into the hallway and closes the door. Even through three inches of wood, the room crackles with the familiar heat of Barry tapping into the Speed Force. The seam around the door glows with a bright orange aura. It blinks out, but a second later, it comes back, and Barry re-enters the room. He puts a white paper bag down at Len’s feet, taking a seat beside it on the floor. He opens it and reaches in, the rank odor in the room overwhelmed by the delicious scent of meat and onions.

“What’s that?” Len asks, staring at the bulging bag dubiously.

“A double double animal style,” Barry says after a bite. “You said you were hungry.”

“There aren’t any In ‘N Outs in Central City.”

“No, but there’s one in San Diego.”

“And that’s where you threw out her dirty diaper?”

“Yup. In the dumpster outside the 7-11 next door.”

“Don’t you think that’s overkill?”

“I don’t really feel like waking up in the morning to the smell of stale diaper, do you?”

“Fair enough.”

“Besides, you can consider it an apology for losing sleep,” Barry says, throwing his husband a wink. Len smirks.

“Well then.” He reaches down for his share of the meal, but he doesn’t take his eyes off his baby girl. Not for a second. “If this is the way night time changing duty is going to go, I’m definitely on board.”

[dracsig]

Oh boy it's that time. To toke up and write about some of the events of this year. Beginning this year I started my job at where I am now and I'm really happy where I am at work, although next year I'll try to promote my position. I'm qualified for higher positions and higher pay, I just have to stop being so lazy and actually applyyy. Speaking of lazyness, that is probably the theme of my life the past 3 years lol I never wanna do anything, and I really deeply enjoy doing nothing at all, but the older I get, the harder is to do nothing :/  Anyway, not much really happened during the first half of the year, that or I can't think of any atm. I'll prolly remember, on a random Wednesday morning, in the shower. But as of now, I honestly can't think of any. Pretty sure I spent the whole first half still playing DBFZ. Btw, I am still obsessed with Dragonball FighterZ, I've gotten really good at it, I'm still competing in it every now and then. I've even been playing Street Fighter 5 recently which is starting to be one of my favorite games. I'm sooo excited for the future game wise AND the PS5 is releasing next year. Ya know, some people, when I was younger and now, would always tell how I would grow out of playing videogames lol boy am I glad they're wrong. Honestly if it wasn't for videogames I... Actually I hate thinking of what my life would even be like without them. 

Then fast forward to like August, that's where the ride actually started. I finally saved up enough money to comfortably move into my own apartment, top 5 best decision of my life so far. A few things I was looking for, was somewhere close to work, somewhere that was cat friendly and didn't kill my bank account and I did that perfect place for me. Of course one of the first things I did when I moved was drive to shelter and adopt a kitty, I couldn't wait to finally own one. I was taking care of my brother's cat too at the time. So after I got my new kitty, Videl, I ended up having two cats with me. Videl and my brother's cat, Mia. They are my babies!!! I love them so much. At first Mia didn't even like Videl ofc, but now they are inseparable. I'm gonna be sad when my brother will have to take his cat back. Maybe by then, I'll get another kitty for Videl to have another friend... I'll worry about this when the time comes. Hmm, that’s actually a cursed phrase for me “I’ll worry about it when the time comes”  oh boy , So many personal topics I should be worried and concerned about now, but I’m always like “I’ll worry about that later” and watch it get worse , Story of my life lmao . Here’s some pics of my babiies at this time 😻

Anyway after I got my kitty I had a trip to Washington and that was okay. When I got back I was excited to see my babies. Then I really started to take advantage of me living, in a bachelor pad basically, it was just me and my kitties. Got to meet a bunch of people, who were nice, for the most part . Living by myself allowed me to have soo much time alone to think about certain aspects of my life (and do alota drugs lol) I have determined I don't think I will ever want to be in a relationship. Just from I've seen and been through this year, I can't see myself completely trusting my partner to not cheat on me lol as silly/dumb as that sounds I’ve watched it happen to many folks and too many people get away with it, I'm too afraid to be in that spot. But honestly I'm enjoying being single, I just do what I want whenever I want. I've noticed how independent I've been feeling lately, which could actual be a double edge sword when I'm not responsible 😅. I've also been noticing just how FAKE people are willing to be just for someone else's approval. Shit makes me sick. I personally haven't fallen for that trap, since like high school, just cause I stop caring about what people think of me years ago, but there are people out there who live for the approval of others. It makes me sick but it happens. All you have to do is be yourself, why worry so much about what someone thinks of you, that you're willing change who you are temporarily, and backstab others just to gain a week long friendship lol. Honestly, just be yourself, and if you don't like yourself, change yourself for the better. But don't backstab others just to appear likeable to someone else ugh. Shit irks me man. I have learned to just let these kinds of people out my life just cause they bring me too much negativity and anxiety, life's 10/10 without em. I don’t even know how I got on that topic holy shitt I wrote so much already , this might be longer than the other years , lowkey enjoying doing this, looking back at somet hings throughout the year :thinking:

Meh , on a lighter note, I have watched some pretty good movies and series this year. Avengers: Endgame, Spiderman Far from home, Detective Pikachu, Shazam, Joker, Dragonball Super Broly (ofc they’re all superhero/fantasy movies) to name a few. I plan on watching Booksmart and Parasyte soon. I also just watched Marriage Story on Netflix last night, that movie was soo damn good, had so many well written scenes. Favorite Netflix movie so far . I basically watched all of Bojack Horseman this year and it is on my top 5 favorite show, that and South Park . Game of Thrones’s last season was earlier this year, it was good, could have been way better, but the show that TRULY caught my attention and kept it, is Attack on Titan. 

Attack On Titan became my favorite show/media/manga ever of all time. Nothing will ever beat the story telling of AoT for a very long time imo. The manga is very close to finishing, and the last season will be late next year. I honestly hope that when I die, it will be after the last episode airs and after I’ve read the last chapter of the manga, then I’d be content 😅. Dead ass, I re watched the anime so many times and finally re read the manga from the beginning and my mind is blown with every page I read, HOW can an author come up with such disturbing, yet fascinating way of telling such a deep story? Wow, I can go on about that show FOREVER, It became my favorite show all time and I want to always remember it.

I know i missed a bunch of topics I planned on touching, but I’m gonna end up writing PAGES if I talk about everything. I reallly enjoyed this year though.

Just as before, I wanna say hi to my future self reading this in December 2020 . I have no way to predict anything about next year at all. Same with this year, I didn’t expect anything that happened to me (good or bad) I just rolled with it. I guess that’s life?? Hoping 2020 will be just as good, if not better :)

[sanguinesprout]

Spots of sunshine breaking through (group therapy, job updates and blah)

Hoho, quite a bit happened this past month and most of it was kinda good stuff too! My mood lately has been, pretty average, though a little bit better I guess. Physically I’ve been really not great, so please excuse the shoddiness of this post, ugh.

First off, I started going to the group therapy. I have gone for 3 sessions already and have about 5 left. My initial feelings were reluctance and avoidance and kind of still are but I think I’ve kind of settled in a bit better now and am set on completing the full course!

The first session was well, kinda uncomfortable and I didn’t really know what to expect but the content was pretty good (though I felt like the session was dragging sometimes). There were very very few other people there, just a small handful but they were friendly and so were the staff, the mood is very chipper and pleasant and there is no pressure to have to answer or reveal things you don’t want to.

I probably won’t be able to explain all the stuff from the sessions just maybe bring more of a general account of the experience kind of thing. The content of the sessions helps you rethink about things, CBT style stuff.  It’s definitely something that would be the most beneficial to experience in person of course because there are practical elements to it that really help solidify and explain some of the teachings. So, if you have the opportunity to attend group therapy, I would definitely recommend you give it a try, it’s not as scary or weird as you may think it sounds and is definitely not like how it is presented on tv, it’s way more loose and casual. I think I prefer it much more than the 1-on-1 type of counselling, it just feels so much more relaxed and educational.

When it came to the second session the following week, I was debating whether to quit or not, but I told myself to give it another try at least. My avoidance was beginning to get in the way of my progress, but if I submit to it, I’ll just be going backwards. There really are lots of beneficial things from therapy, it would definitely be a waste to not take them on board. So I went and it was fine, I learned more things, I talked a little more, I settled in more.

The third time I considered quitting again, but I told myself to stop being silly. Any small discomforts I have and any small comfort I get from not going is nothing compared to missing all the awesome things I could be learning. What also really drove me not to was the fact that the session for the week was focused on avoidance, to avoid it would be like the ultimate meta/ironic thing. The things shared in this session was really helpful, showed me the bad cycle I put myself through and its repercussions.

The sessions are really quite casual, you get to chat to each other, relate to lots of things and discuss. I tried my best to converse and contribute as much as possible. At first I felt I really didn’t fit in because the other attendees seemed so much more mature than me and are a different stage of life kind of feeling, but there are still lots of things we think and feel in common with regards to anxiety/depression, I’m glad I was able to get along with them though I’m probably still very awkward lol.

I do get some worksheets to do as homework but they’re only discussed very briefly at the beginning of the next session and like with other stuff there’s no pressure to do or share any of it. It’s kinda bad but I do it last minute, bad bad me. I’m hoping to get through all the other sessions okay and actually start making some real healthy progress for myself.

In other things... omg! I actually had an interview for another retail job super similar to my last fail and actually got the job! I did try my best and I tried to be more prepared for the interview and welp, I did it!! :D The thing is, it’s the most minimal part time job in terms of days and hours, but it’s something! The minimal-ness is definitely a fitting starting point for me too! I start very soon but I’m kinda worried how I’ll perform because of my health, it’s never been good and has been going pretty downhill lately ;; Still I want to succeed really hard!

I know that it will definitely be a good opportunity for me career-wise and social-wise so I’m gonna try my best. I’ll still be looking out for other additional jobs and applying too if I can though. I’m kinda excited and predictably nervous, but I’m quite optimistic about it for the most part. My family was as surprised as I was, I felt kind of proud, it is an achievement I didn’t think I would reach for a long time. Here’s wishing it all goes well!

As mentioned lately my physical health has just continued to pile new bad things up and up. I’m extremely concerned about my health but help is so limited and slow. I just feel so unlucky in health, it really makes every day harder and my quality of life so much awfuller than it already is. Things are still really slow for my mum and I’m still very concerned about my dad too. It’s just a never ending loop of badness and worry in my family.

In everything else it has been pretty meh, there has been some other nice things happen lately, but it’s been hard to enjoy when constantly ill. My main goal for the present is to get healthy both mentally and physically, I really need to put in a lot more effort though, but I think maybe I’ll get somewhere as long as I keep trying!

Maybe next time’s post will be better and have some stuff I missed out, but for now I guess this is all, I really need to lie down.

Keep learning, growing, fighting! We’ll get there!

Have a great week! ^^

[queencryo]

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

[learains]

Summers are the worst. Moms are a close second.

Elly is sprawled out on the couch, staring in the general direction of the TV.  Old Disney movies on VHS are great for zoning out. She flicks her thumb nail between her teeth, and repeats “...and my toes are froze” after Lucky in the movie.  She laughs to herself because  at least 80℉ outside and frozen is the last thing she’s feeling.  She pushes her long brown hair off her neck and adjusts the pillow.  She melts even further into the cushions. She might actually be morphing into a couch cushion herself. She has spent most of the past few weeks of summer break in this very spot.  Being an inanimate object might be nice, she wouldn’t have to worry about not having emotions. Seeing as she was human, the “D word,” aka depression, usually gets thrown around when you’re this lifeless. 

“Scoot,” Elly’s mom interrupts her wallowing. 

“Ugh mom, can’t you see I’m watching a movie?!” Elly whines. 

“Oh you haven’t seen 101 Dalmations a thousand times in your life? Really?” Mom replies sarcastically, pausing the movie.

Elly sighs loudly and dramatically as only teenage girls can, but moves her feet to make room for her mother. 

Mom gets comfortable then starts on the lecture, “Hey so I wanted to talk to you. Is this all you’re gonna do all summer?” 

“Dunno. It’s only been a couple weeks. Can’t I just enjoy being a high school graduate for a bit?” 

“Of course you can, but you’re being unusually lazy. Isn’t there anything else you need to be doing? Or want to do? Summer will be over before you know it and then you’re heading to college and..” Mom really hits her stride here. 

Elly interjects, “Well I have some babysitting lined up for this weekend, so I need to rest up until then.” 

“Elly, what about friends? Don’t you want to have a social life? You won’t be able to see them much once you all move to different colleges. Why not take the time to hang out now?” 

“Meh. Not feeling it.” 

“Okay, then what about meeting up with Aiden? I ran into his grandma at the store and heard he’s back from college now,” Mom presses. 

Elly perks up a little then forces a scowl, “Mom, you know we broke up in January. Why would you suggest that?”  How did she not know he was back? Elly scowls in annoyance at him for not messaging her, or maybe at herself for expecting him to. 

“Well, I still don’t understand why you broke up. You never told me any details, but I thought maybe it would be easier now that he’s back for summer. You two could try again, maybe?” Mom tries to sound casual. Elly doesn’t take the bait. 

Mom continues, “Well then why don’t you get back out there? I’m sure there’s some group outings. Maybe there are other nice guys you could see.”

Elly shakes her head, “Mom, I’m just not interested in dating right now. End of story.” 

Mom continues hesitantly, “Well you know if it's something like maybe you would rather date girls, then I just want you to know that you don't have to worry what I'll think. I love you no matter what and will embrace whoever you choose to love as family and..” 

“Ugh! Mom, stop. It’s not like that!” Elly cuts her off before it gets any more cringy.  

Mom pats Elly’s leg and gets up. “Alright sweetie. I won’t pester you anymore, I just wanted you to know you can talk to me more. I wish you would.” 

“Okay,” Elly replies and grabs the remote to play the end of 101 Dalmations. Once her mom has walked into the next room, Elly covers her face with her hands and silently screams.  She sighs as she pulls her hands away and balls them into tight fists. Why on earth would her mom jump to that conclusion?  D*ke is not the “D word” she was expecting to hear. Ugh, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to use that word though. But what parent sees a depressed teenager and thinks ‘Hmm, must be super gay just because they want to stay indoors during the summer!”? Like it’s at least a billion degrees outside, who would actually want to leave the house this time of year? 

Elly starts feeling a bit drowsy as the credits roll, so she turns off the TV, and closes her eyes for a little afternoon nap.  She’s got plenty of time before she leaves for college anyways, she can afford to rest for now.

[more4gemini]

AS3 Episode 5 Ruview

I wasn’t even going to do this because this episode was such a let down but...what the hell imma do it anyways. 

When I watched the promo for this week’s episode I was BEYOND excited because we were FINALLY getting a sewing challenge. These are my favorite challenges, and as the series has gone on we seem to be getting less of them and more scripted performance challenges (ugh), so I was thrilled to finally see the queens show their talent and creativity. We even got a mini challenge and it kind of felt like the good old days of drag race again! But once again, this episode seemed very rushed and I didn’t feel like we got to see enough of the queens actually constructing their garments. They mainly focused on the queens who can’t sew, which is not what I wanted to see. We didn’t even get Ru in the workroom looking at each queens’ progress. Maybe it was because of all the lack luster outfits, because none of them really wowed me, and the soup can thing was just dumb. This was supposed to be a ball! And the previous balls on the show had the queens making/showing 3 different looks, not one lackluster look and a soup can they printed!

None of the looks were that great. I can’t help but imagine what the season 3 girls would have turned out for a Studio 54 runway...it would’ve been sickening. But I will still go through each queen:

Trixie: She looked good. It was a bit predictable again as she seems to stick to jumpsuits and pink, but at least she knows what looks good on her body and made a well-fitted garment. Kinda wish she had chosen a different color for variety, and the hair/headband was a bit 60s, but overall it was well done. And her soup can was the only kinda funny one.

Kennedy: I LOVED her hair and makeup! Very disco. But the garment was a bit simple. It was really just a bodysuit with a sleeve. Bot bad but not anything amazing.

Shangela: I love Shangie but that dress was basic af. I liked it from the neck up, but the fringe and records just seemed simple and lazy to me. Obviously she isn’t a seamstress but she has been slaying the rest of the competition so I don’t think she deserved to go home

Ben: I didn’t like her outfit much either. It was similar to kennedy’s outfit in that it was just a bathing suit and stuff on her arms but this one felt less disco-y? It didn’t fit great and her hair & makeup were pretty standard. Meh.

Bebe: It was pretty, but again nothing super exciting. She has the advantage of having that big-haired Diana Ross look, but I thought the hair could’ve been bigger. Also I didn’t care for the necklaces. I liked when it moved, but the dress still felt kind of basic.

Aja: Honestly this was one of my favorite looks of the night and I thought she looked stunning. I think the hair was the main problem the judges had with it, which I can understand, but I think they were unnecessarily harsh about it. I didn’t like that they made Aja look like she didn’t know what she was talking about when she was explaining her look, because to me she seems like one of the few young queens that actively tries to know her herstory. However it is all stars so I guess they have to be nitpicky with little details now. It just sucks that she went home when she had easily one of the better looks of the night. Aja is a very talented queen and definitely gained a new fan in me throughout as3.

Overall, the night was very lackluster, and I’m so upset because the sewing challenged used to be my favorite ones! In the past the episodes never used to feel so rushed, even though they were only an hour. I think it has to do with these stupid deliberations the queens have now before the LSFYL, deciding which queen to send home. They are boring and pointless, most of the queens all say the same thing when asked why they should stay. I’d rather that time be dedicated to mini challenges and seeing the queens in the workroom. I hope this rudemption puts some energy into this show, because the last couple episodes have been flat as hell!

[somuchkdrama]

Bride of Habaek, Ep 11 & 12

Loose Ends

@dramajib​: If this were a regular drama, we'd be at the point where our main leads are angstily separated because one or both of them are being stupid and "noble"

dramajib: Except in this case it's more like they're just living out the inevitable and getting separated

dramajib: So we've got four episodes left to find out a) why/how HaBaek came back, and whether he has his powers back, b) wtf is going on with these drama queen gods, c) how our main leads are going to have a happily ever after, d) what happens to Hoo Ye, e) what happened to So Ah's dad....

dramajib: am I missing anything?

@rocknghorss​: no that's about all of it

rocknghorss: i don't think we have enough time to cover everything and cover it well

dramajib: I think I'm most invested in finding out b, d, and e (in that order). Again - this show is so poorly titled. I don't care at all about the bride business

rocknghorss: Yeah, a more appropriate title would be "5 people deal with their baggage"

rocknghorss: or some variation on that theme

@triangularlily​: Lol so true

dramajib: Hahaha for real. I would watch that show

dramajib: Oh. I wonder what Joo Dong so urgently went off to do?

rocknghorss: Oh! I'd forgotten about him. Where'd he have to go so urgently right after regaining his memories? perhaps to find the little girl?

Popular Appeal

dramajib: I feel like a lot of people are watching this even when they’re not necessarily super into it. Has it been hyped a lot on things like Soompi and Dramafever?

rocknghorss: On soompi the thread has thousands upon thousands of views. But I haven't actually checked it to see what people are thinking.

rocknghorss: On tumblr tho, there are gifs with hundreds of likes, which makes me think that at least some people might be enjoying the actors faces if nothing else

dramajib: Yeah, like my friend that i met recently was watching it, but she said she reads recaps more often than actually watching the show

dramajib: And the tags i see on tumblr hint at people feeling similarly. I just thought it was interesting that so many people are just casually interested in it when usually shows with large followings have very dedicated fans. Like... People who are super emotionally invested in it, you know? Whereas this doesn’t seem to have as deep a connection for many people, but it hasn’t negatively affected viewership as a whole

triangularlily: I think a lot of people at least on Tumblr dropped the show though. there were a lot more posts about the show in the first few weeks and now there's barely any in the tag

rocknghorss: Yeah. The show is fairly underwhelming. Much of what I think is interesting about it: SoAh's inner strength, the stuff about mental illness, a lot of the stuff about the gods and the mythology is like barely touched on.

rocknghorss: Which makes me sad, cause I feel like focusing on things besides the romance would've made the show more exciting

triangularlily: Same I agree

What Could Have Been

dramajib: Sigh. It makes me a little sad that the show has so much potential but doesn't seem to be maximising on that

dramajib: Like... in the water realm. How come HaBaek switches between being a child and being a grown up? What kind of power is that?

dramajib: Or that amazing supporting cast of minor gods and goddesses - I would have capitalized on that and made them a bigger part of the show

rocknghorss: Nope.  That's a show we can't have… for reasons…

rocknghorss: I'm curious now, how this is doing in Korea.

rocknghorss: oh, it's doing fairly well?? 3.2% of ppl are watching it on TVN

dramajib: hmm.

rocknghorss: that's good for cable I think?

dramajib: I suppose being familiar with the mythology helps

rocknghorss: perhaps, although much of this could be made up entirely.

dramajib: And I mean, it's not a BAD show

rocknghorss: it's not an engrossing show either tho

dramajib: Huh. Apparently So Ah's role was first offered to Moon Chae Won

rocknghorss: uhh…

dramajib: That would have been a DRAMATICALLY different show

rocknghorss: exactly!! wow.

rocknghorss: oh well. can't cry over a missed opportunity

triangularlily: Ugh I just was so excited about this show and I tried so hard to like it

dramajib: I do still like it

dramajib: Not as much as I'd hoped, but I don't regret watching it

rocknghorss: I'd like it a whole lot more if this was the tvn of the past that did like 45 minute episodes.

dramajib: same actually, that's a great point. Some of the episodes, especially the later ones, have dragged a bit

triangularlily: And I don't hate it I just really wanted it to be amazing

dramajib: I think it's just very inconsistent - the good bits are really good, but there aren't enough of them to sustain every episode. As it stands, I'd give this about a 7.5 so far? Because the secondary storylines and characters are very strong, even if the romance is a bomb

rocknghorss: hm. I think I'd give it a 6.5: secondary characters/story are interesting, but ultimately not expanded upon and the central storyline (ignoring the romance bit) is all over the place

rocknghorss: i guess i can't say ultimately until we get to episode 16, so I take that back

dramajib: lol. Well we've got two weeks to find out how this goes!

rocknghorss: yup! it's going to be a good last 4 eps I'm hoping.

triangularlily: I honestly have no idea what I think of it rn

dramajib: lol Kristin! I feel bad cos you were the one most excited about this and now you seem like a kid all sad at their own birthday party

rocknghorss: ^lol. it's ok kristin.

dramajib: The cake is yet to brought out! Things might look up!

triangularlily: I'm glad at least we are discussing this, it's helping me I think with my disappointment lol

rocknghorss: Mine too :)

triangularlily: Cause I remember some of the good stuff rather than just the lingering meh feeling

rocknghorss: exactly! although if our next show we watch together is consistently good, that would be nice lol

So, you know, send us some suggestions on something great to watch together!

Also, keep an eye out for the upcoming drama exchange, starting soon!

Next up: Bride of Habaek, Episodes 13 & 14

[purplesurveys]

688

Have you today?

Looked in a mirror? Not on purpose. We just have several mirrors in the house that I unavoidably pass by and look at.

Watered a plant? Not today, but my dad has asked me to do it a couple of times in the last week.

Worn denim? I haven’t worn outside clothes in almost a monthhhhh. And that includes denim.

Washed your hair? Technically yes. I took a shower at around 1 AM? before heading to bed.

Been in pain? Kind of. My left eye has been irritating me almost every night/morning since the year started; sometimes it gets incredibly swollen, sometimes it just feels like something is stuck in my eyelid. Either way it’s always uncomfortable and painful.

Had a nap? Haha, not yet. But since the lockdown started I’ve been having an afternoon siesta everyday. Brushed your teeth? Yeah, it came along with the ^ above 1 AM shower. Kissed someone? I haven’t been able to kiss my girlfriend in almost three weeks now and I’m miiiiiserable.  Used a cheese grater? Nah, I haven’t used one in a while.

Eaten something sweet? Not yet. I might eat a few pieces of chocnut later though. Spoken to a stranger? Not today, but we did have a village guard knock on our door earlier to give my dad a quarantine pass – it’s to confirm that he’ll be the only one in the family allowed to leave the house in case we need to go to the groceries or something. I peeked by the front door to listen to the interaction, but I didn’t speak with the guard myself. Dropped something? Sure. My bottle of eye drops. Felt upset in some way? You can say that. There’s a new trend on Facebook where groups are created so certain universities can just trashtalk one another as a joke. It was funny at first but there are some posts that have gone too far, personal, or both, and it obviously hasn’t been good for my mental health lol. Drank coffee? Not yet today. I usually have it in the evening. Walked for more than thirty minutes? I also haven’t walked much in three weeks. That’s kinda what’s supposed to happen when your entire city is put on lockdown. Signed up for something? No. I’ve logged in to certain sites, though. Travelled in a car? I also haven’t been in a car in the last couple of weeks. I was able to ride with my dad the night before they imposed the lockdown – we were visiting my grandpa in the columbary because it would’ve been his 80th birthday that day. Opened a can? Nope. Thought about doing something crazy? At the back of my head I always think of driving up to see Gab because I miss her a lot, but it just remains a crazy thought in my head. Listened to a new song? Yeah. I have a couple of saved playlists and I don’t know like 94% of the songs in both of them, so I’m always listening to a new song everyday. Written in a notebook? I haven’t. I’ve written on a piece of paper, though. Fed an animal? Yup, my dog needs his breakfast. Checked your emails? LOL NOPE, and I don’t plan to check them any time soon. Told someone you love them? Yeah, before we both turned in at like 3 AM lol. Made a phone call? Yeah I also called my girlfriend earlier.

Have you in the last week?

Update: I skipped this survey the whole day and now it’s 10:30 in the evening, and I’ve already done a bunch of stuff I said no ^ to earlier lmao but am too lazy to change. Let’s gooooooo

Travelled on a bus? Nah. The bus personally isn’t my main mode of transpo and I only get to ride them when I’m in a group and there’s no choice but to ride a bus, like for field trips or for group itineraries during vacations.

Washed your face? Yeah. I did this today because my face was feeling annoyingly oily. Put a face mask on for the first time in a long time.

Used a blender? No. I don’t think we even have a blender at home, cos no one ever makes stuff that needs to be blended.

Received a phone call? Sure. Gab and I called several times in the last week, and my grandma has also called from time to time to check up on us because the lockdown has kept us from seeing her regularly.

Talked to someone you dislike? I...don’t think so. If I did I’d definitely talk to Gabie about it, and I haven’t done that with her haha.

Consumed alcohol? Ugh, bleck. Yeah. I wanted to get buzzed last week and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s is the only thing we have in the house so I had a small sip and just... disgusting. Whiskey is just not my thing, so never again.

Eaten pasta? Spot on. We had spaghetti for dinner tonight.

Planned for an event? There is no event to plan, and it’ll stay like this for the next 3-4 months probs.

Asked someone for a favour? Sure, I asked Gab to be the one to write the write-up that’s going to be on my college yearbook.

Watched something funny? I’ve been watching tons of these to fight off boredom during the break.

Trimmed your nails? Yep, they were getting long and uncomfortable so I got rid of them.

Browsed Reddit? Also yep. School kept me busy for a couple of months and I wasn’t able to use Reddit then because I’d usually pass out by evening. But right now I have more than enough time to browse it, so I’ve been doing some catching up.

Talked to yourself? I guess? Not as much as before the lockdown though, because I’ve already been usually by myself throughout this break, and don’t feel the ~need to talk to myself.

Purchased tickets for something? Nah. They cancelled almost all future events up until May or June...there’s no tickets to be bought at all to begin with.

Felt like you were annoying someone? Meh, it happens every now and then.

Cleaned a toilet? I’ve never done this at all.

Reminisced about the past? LMAO yeah. Someone created a Facebook group that lets alumni from my high school just shit-talk the school and bring back (and reveal) old drama, scandals, and controversies. It’s hilarious, it hasn’t pissed me off, and past students exposing teachers who turned out to be trash and/or perverts is so satisfying.

Used headphones? I haven’t had headphones in a while.

Laughed with a friend? Yeah, but just virtually. I haven’t heard most of my friends’ voices in a while.

Cooked dinner and then didn't feel hungry? Nah. I HAVE helped my dad make dinner a few times this week, which is like huge baby steps for me in learning how to cook haha.

Written a list? I don’t think I have in the last week.

Played an instrument? Nope. Felt jealous or envious? It happens. Ignored a text message on purpose? Lol yeah I guess. There were times I got fed up with Gab being such a slow replier that when she replies, I stopped wanting to open my inbox. Congratulated someone? I just did! UP’s med school results were released a few hours ago and I congratulated my friend Michelle for passing. Her decision was super clutch – she initially passed med school as early as high school but she declined it so she can take journalism instead, because it’s what she thought she liked at the time. Four years into the course and she realizes she hated it, so she made the really clutch decision to review for med school exams and she ended up passing every single one she took, UP being the icing on the cake. Honestly I wish I had balls like her.

Have you in the last month?

Made a piece of art? I don’t think so.

Rewatched one of your favourite tv shows or movies? I rewatch Friends at least once or twice a month, so ya got me there.

Called a plumber? We haven’t needed to do this.

Been to a see a doctor? Yup, an optometrist. Something’s been going on with my left eye for a while, so I went in to have a checkup a couple of weeks ago.

Finished a book? I did :o I had to read an entire book to make an essay for my business news class. It’s an investigative piece on the fast food industry, which I honestly dig, so I didn’t have a hard time reading and finishing it.

Had a crush on someone? Sure.

Travelled on a train? Definitely haven’t done this at all, except for that one time three years ago when I had to do it with Jum to go to the House of Representatives in Manila.

Worn heels? I don’t think I did, no. Been to a friend's house? Yeah, I was at Gabie’s a couple times before the lockdown started. Shared a bed with someone? ^ Just her. Been to see a movie at the cinema? Haven’t been to since Knives Out last December. Paid attention to celebrity drama? Nah. High school drama though, I’ve been all over that the last couple of days lmao. Felt anxious? I feel it at least once a day. Taken an elevator? Sure. Given someone the cold shoulder? Only when I don’t reply to Gab because she takes too long to reply, lol yeah. It doesn’t last too long though; it’s just a playful tantrum thing. Purchased a new book/game/movie? Nah, I think I find most of my content on YouTube/Netflix anyway. Applied for a job? Hahahahahahahahahahhaha not yet don’t rush me. Used a printer? I don’t think so. Had lunch in a park? But do we have parks at all? Lmaooooooooo Gotten a manicure or pedicure? Definitely not into those. Made an appointment? Ish? If the one with the optometrist counts. Had a blood test done? Not since 2010. Suffered from a major bruise? Lol dude I haven’t moved a lot in the last few weeks, there’s absolutely no reason for me to get a bruise. Researched a topic in-depth? Yes. I am in school, after all.

Have you in the last year?

Been to the beach? Yep, but it’s been a literal year and not less than, and I am haaaaaardcore missing the beach. No idea when I’ll be coming back.

Visited someone in the hospital? No and I hope I won’t have to for now, given what’s been going on.

Played pinball? Ooh I just did earlier this month! Gab and I went to BGC for a whole night of partying, and when everyone went home we stayed so we can go bar-hopping, and there’s a place called Barcade that’s...well, you get the name. ANYWAY they had sooo many vintage arcade games and a couple of pinball machines, and we didn’t waste time playing each of them. It was sooooo fun.

Travelled on a plane? A couple of times.

Worn a costume? I was Dora for Halloween, so yup.

Been thrift shopping? I don’t...think so?

Thought about getting pregnant or got pregnant? Hell no.

Made a big life decision? Not really. Hasn’t everyone’s lives been put on hold because of this stupid virus?

Changed a lightbulb? Never had at all, really.

Framed something and put it on your wall? Nah. I’m not really that kind of person.

Been stargazing? I’ve been doing this a lot recently cos I’ve been staying at the rooftop at night more often. And with everyone at home, the light pollution has been clearing up and the stars have been so much easier to see.

Made a new friend? If the new applicants for our org count, then yes.

Added to a collection? I don’t have any.

Been to the dentist? Oh yeah. I had a really bad toothache throughout December but the dentist took it all away ahhdkjfhdjsfhsf I’m so grateful lmao.

Broken up with someone? Nope.

Held a baby? That’s a bigger nope.

Created a budget? Nah lmao I would never be able to follow it.

Confessed feelings for someone? Already did.

Had surgery of any kind? Nope and I hope I’ll never need one.

Quit a job? Never had a job,

Been in a car accident? NO thank god hahahahahahaha Purchased something worth over a grand? Yep, one of my Christmas gifts for Gabie was well around two grand. Pesos though, so that’s like roughly $40. Been on vacation at least 500km/300mi from home? Yeah, we always do at least one of these when my dad’s home. Applied for an academic course? Does enrolling count? I’m still in college lmao. Had your photo taken by a professional? I had my grad shoot taken last January.

[choupetit]

GOT Recap: The Queen’s Justice

Airdate:  7/30/17 

Season 7, Episode 3

Hell hath no fury like Cersei on the warpath and this week she was certainly on a ROLL! Lots of great stuff happened in the latest episode, including a much-anticipated meeting between two of my favorite characters.  And we even had some rare moments of comedic relief.  Game of Thrones is picking up some major speed, so let’s hop right onto the crazy train and get this recap of “The Queen’s Justice” started!

So, um…I’m Kind of a Big Deal

Huzzah! Rather than make us all wait for the big Daenerys/Jon Snow meet-up, we start right off the bat with the good stuff:  Jon Snow arrives at Dragonstone along with his trusty advisor, Ser Davos, and they are greeted at the shore by Missandei and Tyrion.  Jon and Tyrion give each other a good-natured hello along the lines of “Hey, Bastard! lol” -”Yo, Dwarf. rofl”. [Side note: I was really hoping for one of those pregnant pauses where they just look at each other seriously and then say “C’mere, you!!” and embrace in a big, friendly bro hug.  This didn’t happen. Color me disappointed.]   Missandei kindly asks them to surrender all their weapons, because even though they’ve heard how cool Jon is, one can never be too careful when returning from exile to dethrone the current monarch. Foreign Invader Strategies 101, y’all.

On the long,meandering walk up to the castle (which, it must be said, is really quite scenic), Tyrion notes that Jon made a bold move showing up at Dragonstone to meet with Queen Dany, especially since Stark men haven’t fared too well with Targaryens in the past - to which Jon replies he’s not a Stark - oh if only he KNEW!!! As if on cue, one of Dany’s enormous dragons appears out of nowhere and swoops over them, flying off into the distance. It startles the bejesus out of Jon and Davos as they stop, drop, and cover. For their sake, I really hope they get to put on a change of clothes before meeting Dany.   

Much higher up the path, we see Melisandre looking down at Jon Snow, when Varys creeps up.  He questions why she was so keen to have Jon visit, and yet, is hiding away.  Mel keeps things vague and only lets on that mistakes were made on her part and she’s ready to head back to Volantis.  Varys tells her to stay there, but she tells him she must return one day with the cryptic phrase “I must die in this strange country, just like you.” They both share a meaningful look.  Wait, what?  What is going on here?!  Do these two have some kind of history together, or just lots of intel on each other? It’s all very mysterious and now I’m intrigued. 

On to Dany’s throne room! Missandei introduces Daenerys to her visitors, rattling off the long list of titles Dany has.  When it’s time for Jon’s intro, Ser Davos is all “This is Jon Snow.”  Jon looks at him like “Duuuuuude! Come ooooooon, I’m trying to make an impression here!” Davos adds “He’s the king in the North”. It’s a strained meeting to say the least - Right out the gate, Dany  comes on strong with her claim to the throne, citing there is no “King in the North”, seeing how the North is one of the kingdoms that belongs to the ruler on the Iron Throne. She demands that Jon swear his loyalty to her, citing that time when an ancient Stark ancestor made a fealty agreement with a Targaryen that spans forever ever (forever, ever?! Yeah.  Forever ever).  Jon is like “Nah, I’m good, let’s talk about snow zombies”…which really goes over well. Dany gets all puffed up saying that Jon will be in open rebellion to her if he won’t bend the knee. In Jon’s defense, they are all running out of time and he can’t be fighting a war for Dany.  But Tyrion points out, that the fight for the throne has already begun and they can’t just channel their inner Zack Morris and call a time out while they clear up the pesky Night King/Army of Dead situation.  Also, they kinda don’t believe him. Davos goes into total hype man mode and starts to rattle off Jon’s resume and all the things he’s done for the North and how he got stabbed in the heart and Jon gives him a look that screams “Ix-nay on the resurrection alk-tay, man! They already don’t believe this whole Whitewalker stuff!”

The meeting is cut short when Varys arrives with some important news. Jon and Davos are sent to their rooms for some R&R and Dany lets them know their current status is “esteemed guests who are not yet prisoners.”

Varys breaks the news to Dany on the Euron Greyjoy ambush.  Ugh.  Well there goes the Greyjoy and Martell support. When Dany asks if there were any  survivors on her side, we get a very brief cut to Theon being fished out of the water by one of the Good Greyjoy ships that survived the ambush of the Bad Greyjoys.  Needless to say, Theon can’t get no respect from the crew.

Killer Queen

While we’re on the subject of Greyjoys…Euron has returned to King’s Landing with the gift he promised Cersei:  Ellaria Sand and her daughter, Tyene  aka the ones who sneakily murdered Cersei and Jaime’s daughter, Myrcella. Well, well, well, isn’t payback a biatch? After parading through town with his prisoners -who get a proper public-shaming from the good people of King’s Landing - Euron delivers the duo to Cersei with much bravado. Cersei is extremely pleased and tells Euron he’ll get what he wants (her hand in marriage) once the war against Daenerys is won.  In the meantime, she appoints him as her naval commander and then moves on to the most important business of the day: Revenge.

In one of the dungeons of the Red Keep, Cersei along with Qyburn and Frankenmountain pay Ellaria and her daughter a visit.  The prisoners are chained and gagged and Cersei launches into a blistering, taunting, calculated monologue about how she’s been planning for this day, deciding how she would punish Ellaria. She lays out various gruesome scenarios and finally, Queen C plants a big ol’ kiss on Tyene’s lips and mother and daughter immediately realize that she’s been given the kiss of death with the same poison that was used to kill Cersei's own daughter.  Poetic justice. In true Cersei fashion before sauntering off, she lets Ellaria know that she’ll have the pleasure of watching her daughter die and decompose in front of her as she lives out the rest of her days in this cell, contemplating her poor choices in life.

Next, Cersei joins Jaime in his chambers to jump his bones, cause revenge just makes her super horny.  Naturally.  

The next morning, Cersei has a visitor.  It’s a representative of the Iron Bank of Braavos, and they want their two dollars…and then some.  The bank is concerned about the impending war between Cersei and Daenerys and the outstanding mountain of debt the Lannisters still owe the bank. The rep hints the bank is considering funding Queen Dany since they aren’t about to loan Cersei any more money until she pays back the current loan. Cersei assures the banker that Lannisters always pay their debts and if he can hold off for just one more day, the debt will be paid in full.  Oooh, what’s up her sleeve this time?

Whattaya Want From Meh?!

Back at Dragonstone, Jon is getting some fresh air and brooding as only he can.  Tyrion joins him and makes a few attempts at humor, but Jon is, like, totally super bummed out, man, ‘cause he really needs to save his people from the damn ice zombies that nobody else believes in and it’s just so freakin’ frustrating, uuuuugh! Tyrion tells Jon his request would be a tall order for anybody during a first-time meeting.  He points out that Dany and Jon have quite a bit in common in that they both care about helping and saving others and that Jon should give things some time for Dany to come around once she gets a clearer feel for who Jon is.  But ain’t nobody got time for that! Jon and the North are running out of time and he needs help now, so Tyrion asks him if Jon has any other, doable, requests.  Hmm.  Well, ya know…there just happens to be all that dragon glass which Jon came for…

Cut to Dany and Tyrion in the war room as Tyrion talks Dany into allowing Jon to mine the dragon glass as a show of good faith to help win Jon Snow as an ally. It’s a great scene peppered with a handful of funny moments.

Dany goes out to join Jon on the mountain top, and they watch her dragons flying in the distance.  She tells him how people thought dragons didn’t exist anymore, and indicates that perhaps she can be a bit more openminded about other things that sounds impossible.  She lets him know his wish for the dragon glass is granted and that she’ll even provide the necessary resources to mine it.  When Jon asks if this means she believes him in regard to the Whitewalkers, Dany simply tells him he’d better hop to it. Nice dodge, Dany.

Meanwhile at Winterfell, Sansa is totally killing it in the upper management department and is in total doomsday prep mode, making sure they have enough food for the long winter, and the proper armor to fight the army of dead. She has a moment alone with Littlefinger who gives her some unsolicited advice, and we get a peek into the inner workings of his mind.  He tells her that if the North happens to defeat the Whitewalkers and humanity as they know it is saved and intact, she needs to be prepared for what happens afterwards.  He suggests a fabulous pastime that involves imagining every possible scenario that can ever happen at any time, based on whether a person is a friend or an enemy - that way nothing will ever come as a surprise, because she’ll already have lived and seen it in her mind’s eye.  Considering they don’t have Facebook in this world, it sounds like a pretty effective way to stay busy and keep the mind sharp.  So what if it probably makes you paranoid and one of the side effects is that you’ll start making scheme-y faces all the time? And on the plus side, once Sansa is done plotting out every single possible scenario she can think of, she can start writing GOT fan fiction and possibly pitch a spin-off to HBO. Wink, wink.

Littlefinger’s advice session is cut off when they hear a commotion in the courtyard and Sansa is called over.  It’s Bran!  Our little baby’s all grownsed up! Sansa runs over to her bro and hugs him.  It’s a sweet moment and not unlike the reunion with Jon at Castle Black.  I do love a good Stark sibling reunion!

Sansa and Bran have a private chit chat at the Godswood tree. Sansa says she wishes Jon was here for the reunion and Bran throws out as an aside, “Yeah, me too, I have something to tell him”…like what, Bran? Like who his real parents are??? Can somebody please send a raven to Dragonstone, stat, cause it could really help clear things up for Jon during his visit with Auntie Dany right now.  Ok, I digress. Sansa points out that Bran’s the oldest living Stark son, and the rightful Lord of Winterfell.  But her little bro tells her how he’s not the lord of anything, seeing how he is now the Three-Eyed-Raven and she’s like “Wtf does that mean?” Bran tells Sansa he can see everything that has ever happened and also things that are happening now, though only in flashes, and that he’s working on getting better at this ability so he can make sense of things. When he mentions her wedding night, it freaks Sansa out and she excuses herself to go back inside. Bran is eerily calm and dreamy in his demeanor the whole scene and you really start to feel that with all the stuff he’s seen while warging, he seems to be losing a part of his humanity - or at the very least, his own sense of self. 

Rebel, Rebel

At the Citadel, Archmaester Marwyn is examining Ser Jorah’s skin, noting a seemingly remarkable recovery.  Marwyn lets on that he knows exactly what happened, but Jorah is sticking with the story that he just took a nap and started to feel better.  Boom, living proof that naps are good for you! Marwyn confirms that Jorah is fully healed and is good to go on his merry way.  But he tells Sam to visit him in his office later.  Ruh roh, Samwell Tarly, you got some ‘splaining to do! Ser Jorah thanks Sam and tells him he’s going to head back to his Khaleesi.

Later in Marwyn’s office, Sam gets a slap on the hand for disobeying the archmaester.  He asks Sam how he managed to heal Jorah when so many archmaesters who have tried the procedure in the past have failed.  It’s simple really, Sam read and followed the instructions.  In my head, I’m cutting to Gilly saying “You’re like…a wizard!”. The archmaester gives Sam a verbal pat on the back for saving Jorah’s life, and then it’s back to the usual grind: some scrolls need to be copied and Sam is the lucky guy who gets to be a human Xerox machine. Marwyn tells him that if he was expecting a reward for his good deed with Jorah it’s that he isn’t being expelled. Aw, man, Sam can’t get a break.  Very fun scene though.

War Games

Back at Dragonstone, Dany is in the war room with her advisors. She wants to hop on a dragon, find Euron’s fleet and torch it to the bottom of the sea, but everybody talks her out of it.  Even if her dragons are strong and nearly invincible, Dany would endanger herself while riding on Drogon, as anybody could try to shoot her down, and it’s a risk she can’t take.  Tyrion reminds her they need to keep their eye on the prize: the siege of Casterly Rock.

Misandei - who clearly has Grey Worm on the brain after her last steamy encounter with him - asks what’s in store for the Unsullied and so we get a cool action sequence of the invasion while Tyrion narrates what will happen, noting that Casterly Rock has a sewer system that allows access into the impenetrable walls of Tyrion’s childhood home - he designed it himself to sneak whores in, back in his younger days.  We see the Unsullied army fight their way past the gates while a group led by Grey Worm sneaks in via the sewer system.  The Unsullied have soon defeated the Lannister army, but it’s all too easy and there aren’t nearly as many men as they expected.  Grey Worm asks a fallen Lannister soldier where everybody else is, and when he looks up, he sees the Unsullied ships have all been set ablaze.  Well, crap.  That’s twice now that Dany’s plans have been foiled.  Maybe she needs better advisors.

And where, indeed, have all the Lannister soldiers gone? We see the giant army advancing to High Garden, home of the Tyrell family - also the richest family in Westeros.  And leading them are Jaime Lannister along with Randyll Tarly and his son, Dickon. Ugh, sell-outs!  Lady Olenna watches from her room as her home is besieged.  She knows what comes next.  And Cersei has indeed fulfilled her promise to the Iron Bank as her army seizes all that Tyrell gold.

Once the battle is over, Jaime is in Lady Olenna’s room.  The old lady is seated at a table, resigned to her fate.  She asks how she’ll be killed and Jaime tells her he talked Cersei out of the more violent options she had entertained, and that it’ll be a painless death by poison. He pours a vial into her glass, and Lady Olenna swigs it down like a champ. As soon as she has ingested the poison she reveals that it was she who poisoned King Joffrey at his wedding.  Jaime’s face is aghast and Lady Olenna tells him she wants Cersei to know it was her.  Ya gotta hand it to Olenna, sticking it to Cersei one last time. 

Day-um! And there we have it.  Nearly halfway through the season and sh*t be going down! I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. Pretty disapointed for Dany that her advisors couldn’t have thought that Cersei would anticipate the Casterly Rock attack and send the majority of her men to fight the Tyrells.  But it certainly raises the stakes, now that things aren’t looking so easy for Dany and she’s on her own again.  She’d better start making new friends quickly.  Seeing how things turned out for the Martells and Tyrells, however, my guess is that not too many houses will want to cross the reigning queen 

Ok, time for a little chit chat and some theories. There are so many questions I have: Will Jon find out about his true heritage while he’s still at Dragonstone? If so, where does that put him in the line of succession? Does the bastard son of Rhaegar outrank the legitimate daughter as heir to the throne? Not that Jon would want to be king… Is Arya going to make it to Winterfell? I really want to see her wind up killing Cersei while wearing a Jaime face.  When will The Hound and his co-horts meet up with the rest of the players in the North? Surely having some Lord of Light believers will help their cause, but what are they gonna do - pray the snow away?  Will Cersei ever get tired of winning so much? I figure her next move has gotta be to hit Dragonstone whilst ambushing the Unsullied army on their way back from Casterly Rock…oh the possibilities!  I hope Jon and Dany can come to an agreement on an alliance swiftly.  And will Cersei ever be asked to join the fight against the Whitewalkers? It certainly would be in her best interest, though I’m sure any help she offers will be the kind that puts her in aprime position to continue ruling the seven kingdoms once/if the army of dead is defeated.

I definitely want more Bran visions.  I have a half-baked theory that the old three-eyed-raven who lived in the tree is an older version of Bran and he is caught in some crazy time loop. And there are rumors flying around the interwebs that Tyrion is actually also a Targaryen (some believe the Mad King had the hots for Tyrion’s mom, so maybe he raped her? It would explain why Tywin hated him so much).  If so, perhaps we’ll end up seeing Dany, Jon and Tyrion each mounting a dragon and laying waste to the Whitewalkers.  Who knows, maybe Cersei will even throw in some dragon fire for their cause - I’m sure she held onto a few barrels. 

Ok, that’s enough with my musings for now. Until next week, my dears.  And if you happen to see the new Qyburn lipstick collection at your local department store beauty counter, may I suggest the new “Drop Dead Gorgeous” shade? I hear it’s to die for.