#ughhhh i feel silly complaining

[clits-and-clips]

If im not cuddled to sleep soon im going to fling myself into the ocean

[draemers]

why do i have to compete with my boyfriend’s siblings to. see him over the holidays

[ambrosiagourmet]

I notice no one has asked yet so for the character thing: laios! Or if you want to go for a less common one: the winged lion

Laios!!!!!!

First impression

Honestly its hard to even limit this within the confines of starting the actual manga. I genuinely think I'd have to say my real first impression of Laios was the "autism be damned, my boy can work a grill" joke that gets passed around a lot 😭

Impression now

Older brother.

Loves his friends and family so much. Let him infodump!!!!! A guy that can character arc so hard he becomes a king because its the only way to deal with the things he can no longer let himself look away from. A guy who wants to eat a good meal. A guy who wants everyone to eat a good meal.

A guy who can be all that and still kind of pettily complain that he doesn't get to hang out with monsters anymore & can mope about it soooo annoyingly. A guy who decided to eat the concept of all-consuming hunger because it was the only way to deal with the problem so he might as well try. A guy who can completely change his life by deciding to share his special interest. A guy who can imitate a dog really well.

Favorite moment

Don't make me choooose... okay I'm gonna do three:

1. Assembling Falin's bones with Marcille

The humor. The patience. The slow realization that, despite how absurd of a task it is, it is actually all possible. The moments of admiration for the way skeletons work, the love of the details, the care of assembling all three skeletons just to make sure they get Falin right. Iconic scene.

2. Killing Falin

"Unable to make myself accept. Unable to make myself resist" lives in my soul now idk what else to say. Life is so vibrant and horrifying and raw and beautiful and to let yourself fully be a part of it you must take up space. You must consume. You must fight. You must take and be taken from. Ourgh

3. Talking Marcille down

I love that he looks so goofy on his way up to her. I love the context of how much he refuses to give up on her leading up to this, and how he refuses to give up on her now. I love how everyone is part of this scene, but he's the first one to cross the threshold. I love how she almost blows him up but can't do it (fun fact: this exact situation/post was how she killed Mithrun a couple of chapters ago. It was close).

I love the way he appeals to her mostly just with messy honesty, and I love the silly three rules callback. It's such a sweet chapter.

Also honorary mention for the final page of the story, which gets me every time.

Idea for a story

I'm actually currently fiddling with a longer story concept dealing with the question of Laios needing an heir. Dungeon Meshi is grounded enough in politics that it genuinely feels like a question that the characters will have to grapple with at some point. At the same time, there's no way that like arranged marriage and even having kids in general are not messy topics for Laios and I don't think anyone involved would want to force him to be miserable.

(I also don't personally like the idea of Falin as his heir ftr, bc I think forcing Falin into that role sucks and I don't think anyone would go for it)

So how DO they deal with the issue? Idk! I might write a long meandering story about it! Maybe! I want to, at least.

Unpopular opinion

Ughhhh I don't realllly want to poke this with a stick but yeah I definitely think my most generic (apparently????) Unpopular Opinion with Laios is just that his relationship with Marcille is meaningful and loving. I personally don't view it as romantic and they mean a lot to me as a platonic-life-partners kind of thing, but I also think that dividing relationships in general into Ships TM and Definitely Not Ships isn't really appealing to me personally. I just care them.

(at the same time I really do worry about trying to write about them and it being taken as romantic despite me very intentionally not framing it as such. idk, navigating this stuff is complicated.)

Favorite relationship

UGHHHH LIKE. It is probably him and Marcille. But it's so hard to rank that against him and Falin. Both relationships mean a lot to me and I love them and I love to think about them.

Because him and Marcille have more on the page interactions to dig into and because I don't see them discussed as much, I do tend to gravitate to Marcille & Laios stuff above all else. But like.... don't make me actually commit to picking.

Favorite headcanon

I can't think of a strong answer for this so I'm going to make one up on the spot: I think he giggled to himself soooo much when he included the winged lion in his king outfit but made it so that it looks like the wolf head is eating it. I think he continues to giggle about it years later. I think he gets dressed in the morning and puts on his cloak and goes "get ate, idiot" as he fastens it around his shoulders.

Oh actually for a more genuine headcanon related to the story thing I mentioned above: I think Laios is really good with kids but would be scared of having any of his own. I think he'd have trouble with the classic "I don't want to mess them up the way my dad messed me up" abused kid struggle.

[esc-is-holding-me-hostage]

The annual pre-show quick-fire "reviews"

Guess who procrastinated for a month and a half on this post!

Albania An Albanian song starting with a woman going "AaAaAAaaaAAAAA"? Groundbreaking. Duje is a very run-of-the-mill Albanian folk power ballad and at this point, I'm kinda tired of these.

Armenia Music good, lyrics clunky.

Australia It is, dare I say, alright.

Austria A song that everyone thought is gonna be a musical shitpost turned out to be an absolute fucking banger, god bless.

Azerbaijan I'm not sure whether I actually like it a bit or it's just me being happy that Azerbaijan has finally let local artists write their song. Now wait until the twins flop and Azerbaijan goes back to swedes-for-hire next year.

Belgium It's fine.

Croatia Is it weird that I don't have much to say about a song like this? Mama ŠČ is shocking the first time you experience it, and I do like the layers of interpretation, but it's not something I want to return to after a couple listens.

Cyprus Imagine Dragons-ass production, ugh.

Czech Republic It's pretty good but I can't fully enjoy it because of the fucking controversy. Look, I think that the girls had the best intentions in mind when writing My Sister's Crown but didn't realize that singing about Slavic unity and "choose love over power" while having a russian member might come off as problematic. Classic ignorance over malice. Still, I wish they had someone Ukrainian-speaking in the band, at least temporarily for ESC.

Denmark This type of "uwu cute softboy" music is not my thing, but eh, it's fine, I'll let zoomer kids have this one.

Estonia Well someone had to fill the ballad quota this year.

Finland It's crazy, it's party, I'm going to throw hands if it doesn't win the televote.

France Fulenn flopped so now we're back to being aggressively French. Evidemment is a bop, I like it.

Georgia It feels like they had a song that made sense in Georgian and then asked a third-grader to translate it. I'm not opposed to silly lyrics in general, but Echo is clearly trying to be meaningful but then fails at basic english grammar.

Germany "We have Rammstein at home". Blood and Glitter is fine but, I dunno, it feels a bit too "smoothed out". It just doesn't go hard enough (bold words from a Slovenia stan, I know).

Greece The most remarkable thing about this entry for me is that I've been watching Eurovision for longer than Victor has been alive.

Iceland Wish Diljá stuck with the Icelandic version.

Ireland I didn't mind We Are One at first but with every listen it just kept getting worse. This is such a formulaic, cliche, cheesy love-love-peace-peace wet napkin of a song. I've already complained about Portion Boys making a generic "eurovision unity anthem" for UMK but at least they tried to be funny. This one feels like a lazy attempt to game the system WITHOUT KNOWING HOW THAT SYSTEM ACTUALLY WORKS.

Israel My god, so much hype before the song's release and we got this? There are so many parts in this song but somehow forgot to put in a proper chorus, it's like Sekret all over again.

Italy L'essenziale is the one Italian ESC song that I always forget about. And now Due Vite is bound to join it. Eh, at least my mom loves it.

Latvia Didn't care about it when the Supernova songs first dropped, but now I'm vibing with it so much.

Lithuania It's okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The "Čiūto tūto"s saved it from being totally forgettable.

Malta Somehow they've managed to find a half-decent song in the pile of garbage that was MESC. It's alright but I wish that I liked it more.

Moldova So "token pagan rave song of the year" is a thing now, huh? Glad to see Pasha's back.

The Netherlands It starts off really boring, but picks up around the second verse and becomes pretty good by the end.

Norway I think I like it but for some reason, my brain doesn't register it as a song??? It's hard to explain, but I don't see Queen of Kings as something you would listen to without some kind of visuals.

Poland Ughhhh. It's basically impossible to judge Solo on its own merit, but I'll try. And my impartial judgment is: I don't like it. Rigged selection or not, I just hate this kind of songs in general.

Portugal One of those songs that I like a lot but don't have anything specific to say about.

Romania The song's okay, and the vocals are good, but the staging is just beyond tacky. Dude, you can't pull off this type of cool, sexy image while looking like a wimpy history major freshman who barely ever shows up to class.

San Marino ... I'm a Piqued Jacks apologist now. Yeah, the lyrics are cringe, but the music? I enjoy it absolutely unironically.

Serbia "I just wanna close my eyes And just get it over with"

Yeah, dude, me too. The most relatable song of the year.

Slovenia I've jumped on the Joker Out hype train as soon as they were announced as Slovenia's participants and I'm riding that train all the way to Liverpool. Favorite song of the year.

Spain Hey, spaniards have finally gotten an artsy song about motherhood as their ESC entry! I have similar feelings about Eaea as I did about In Corpore Sano last year: absolutely mesmerizing on stage, but not something I would listen to casually.

Sweden She's gonna win, ain't she? I mean, Tattoo is fine, and the staging elevates it immensely, but it's such a predictable winner. I want more INTRIGUE, okay?

Switzerland Oh wow, boring AND tone-deaf? Switzerland is breaking new ground this year. I initially placed Watergun 31st but since then it sunk to the very bottom. Like, someone wrote this song, sat on it for several years, and decided that NOW is the best time to send it to Eurovision. Nothing against Remo, but "war bad, i don't want to go to war :c" is uhhh, rich coming from someone living in fucking Switzerland.

Ukraine I can't shake the thought that they first came up with a standard "I'm so cool, you can't hurt me, idgaf" song and then retroactively tried to give it a deeper meaning.

United Kingdom I don't even think it's a bad song and yet I lowkey hate it. It's the beat, it's driving me nuts for some reason. People hate the spoken word part, but I like it because you don't hear that bloody "dun-da-da-dun" for once.

[tangled-wires-and-a-dead-heart]

I honestly hated Hey Melissa so much. I didn't even finish watching it cause it was making me too uncomfortable but I saw someone talking about what happens in the rest of it and I honestly hate it so much and it sucks cause I was pretty excited to watch it because I honestly would've liked to learn more about Melissa and I was really liking it in the beginning and then all of that....stuff started happening and it just made me sooooo ughhhh :(

I also was excited to see Paul have another story where he was a main character in it because the last one where he was a major part of was Forever and Always and I'm pretty sure that I've said this before but I also hated that story and it made me just as upset as Hey Melissa when I finished watching it

Maybe it's just me but I've really been hating what they do with Paul in any of the nightmare time stories that he's a major character in and I feel like the only time I've really loved seeing Paul in a story was in the guy who didn't like musicals....

But I don't know maybe I'm just overreacting and all but I really hated 'Hey Melissa', I hated what they did with Paul, and I really hated what they decided to do with Melissa...like she honestly had a lot of potential (y'know considering that we literally didn't know anything about her) but they had to go and make her like that....

I know that I probably sound very silly complaining about this (especially because everyone else seems to like it or at least not hate it in the way that I do) but I just needed to get my feelings out about this because as much as I love the hatchetfield universe I really haven't been liking a lot of the stuff that they do with certain characters

[shingekinomyfeelings]

✨💫💝

Ooh let's see...

✨What’s a fic you’ve posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

ahaha, I do wish the non-smut ones likes preservation got more interaction. I was really proud of that one right after finishing it. But... there's definitely an issue where a large percentage of people skip over fics that don't have smut, you know?

Same goes for what you really are, even though that one is going to have eventual smut. It's more of an emotional exploration of Reiner and it's been really fun for me, and I think I had hoped more people would also be into it. A few people have responded very positively though and that makes me very happy.

On one hand I feel kind of bad complaining about that sort of thing, but on the other, I really do wish sfw fics would get more appreciation all around. There are so many good ones on tumblr that simply don't get noticed, while even blurbs of smut get a lot of reactions. Uhhh that's a rant for another day honestly.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

oh oh, any kind of specifics, really! If someone felt that I did a really good job characterizing a canon character? If there's a particular line or bit of dialog that made them laugh or react emotionally? Being told that they had any kind of emotional reaction? I will melt.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I was surprised that Would You Still Love Me? got as much of a positive response as it did, because it is just silly fluff with zero smut, and while I do love that one (and do intend to finish it at some point, I swear) I had honestly expected it to be just an odd thing I was mostly writing for myself and a handful of friends.

On the flipside, Shh didn't get much reaction at all, even though it's pure PWP, and ughhhh I thought it was pretty hot lmfao

fic writer asks

[hypergnomesimblr]

This time it’s just good ol’ “re-textures”. That single-swatch Baby Ariel hoodie and then the base game skinny legs with the textures from City Living’s tights. 

*Sigh*. I just don’t feel like doing the preview and typing a bunch a stuff right now...OTL

But don’t worry, I will share ‘em soon.

[sw34ty-pl4n3t]

coom cave - kenma k.

I LOST EVERYTHING ON THIS ONE AND IT ALREADY FUCKIN SUCKED AND IT IS ALMOST ONE AM AND I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THIS IS PUBLISHED SO THIS IS GONNA BE SHIT.

i am a trans male (pre surgery and horomones) so i'm only speaking from my experience. this is trans male reader while having his period while also being a fuckin gremlin. it's awesome and i want to share it dude.

so here's this.

you sat there and groaned, holding your bloated lower belly.

"fuuuucckkkk!" you whined, rolling over and stuffing your face onto the pillows.

"babe shut up, " kenma jokingly said.

"you shut up! you're so mean! i'm in pain!" you childishly said.

"i know and i'm sorry but you've been complaining about it since morning, " he groaned sarcastically.

you pouted, rolling back over and looking around the room.

"maybe i wouldn't complain so much if your room wasn't practically a coom cave dude, " you laughed, pointing at the piles of clothes on the floor.

kenma got up from his gamer chair and walked over to you, spreading his arms and practically jumping on top of you. he went completely ragdoll as you tried to shove him off of you, laughing. he finally propped himself up on his arms, smiling faintly down at you.

"you're the only one i could share my coom cave with because you're just as bad as me, you fucking incel, " he chuckled, greasy hair falling in front of his face.

"i wouldn't hate women so much if i wasn't one, " you half-joked, feeling somewhat girly at the moment.

"wh- no, you're not, " kenma's brows furrowed.

that simple reassuring sentence relaxed you almost immediately. he never said things that he didn't mean. to your knowledge, at least. you smiled at his genuinely confused expression. then you got another cramping pain in your lower stomach.

"IF MY OVARIES DON'T STOP FUCKING WITH ME I WILL RIP THEM OUT MYSELF, " you screeched.

"(y/n) please. i'm about to stream and if you keep yelling about your ovaries everyone's gonna hear, " kenma sighs.

"i don't care dude. i will fucking smite whatever creature decided to make me afab and i'm willing to announce that to thousands, " you stared in his eyes.

"your parents??" he questions.

"yesn't. curse them for bringing me into existence i'm going to murde-"

"(y/n). bro. calm, " he brought a hand to your face, making a pinchy motion with his hand.

"i will bite you, " i warned and he retracted his hand, sighing and flopping onto your chest.

"i couldn't imagine being with anyone but you, " kenma says, reaching up and squishing your cheeks.

"woah, where did this sappy shit come from??" you joked and he squished you harder.

"when can you take the hint and just say i love you?" kenma questioned, squishing your lips together and pulling them apart, muttering 'i love you' in a silly voice.

"why don't you say it first?" you mocked, prying his hands off your face.

"ughhhh you know i'm not good at sap, " he said.

you grinned down at him, feeling smug.

"fine. i wuv you, kenma, " you said, drawing it out in a long and sappy smear, topping it off with puppy eyes.

"i'm leaving. bye. i'm streaming and you're evicted from our room until then, " kenma said, trying to get off of you.

you locked your arms around him, rolling over and keeping him on the bed.

"no!" you childishly pouted. "only i get to see you right now."

"go do self care and take a bath right now. i'll give you bonus points if you give fanservice to the stream by walking in only wearing a towel because i need that money, " kenma joked.

"i'll do it if you wash your greasy ass hair later, " you said,

"fine. now go."

[zevlors-tail]

Retail Therapy

A/N: If you work retail like I do and get frustrated with your job on a weekly/daily basis, if you’re just fed up of all the crazy at work, this one’s for you! Covid has made it extra garbagey to work retail so here’s a little vent. Also, me writing soft Bakugou content? Yes.

Characters: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Shouto Todoroki

Warnings: Mentions of Covid in Bakugou’s part. Cursing. Customer invading your personal space (also in Bakugou’s part), tiny mention of anxiety in Todoroki’s scenario.

Summary: You’ve had the most infuriating day at work. Lucky for you, he knows just how to fix it.

Izuku Midoriya

Oh my god this gif is so bright i love it

“Hi baby!” Izuku greets you as you haphazardly toss your shoes on the floor, not caring where they land. One ends up under the dining room table and the other ends up somewhere among the chairs, but you could care less.

You’re pissed. More pissed than you’ve ever been, but specifically with work. You constantly feel like you’re babysitting your coworkers, and they never listen to anything you have to say, even when you’re put in charge of your department- if only for the night. Every time you turn your back, they’re pulling some sort of dumb stunt; how are you supposed to get work done like that? You can hardly focus on your own task when you’re trying to clean up after everyone else. Picking up slack is something you’re used to by now (unfortunately), but it shouldn’t have to be. You shouldn’t have to do your work and everyone else’s work too. Not to mention, you were tired of being the middle man whenever there was drama. Why did everyone feel the need to tell you everything?

“Ughhhh!” You just groan in response, half a smile on your face while a wild look enters your eyes. Izuku knows that look. He can tell you’re frustrated after a long day of work, that you’re at your wits end with your job. “I swear, Izu, I came this close to rage quitting. I mean I wouldn’t, because I’ve got bills to pay and stuff, but, just- this close.”

“Oh yeah?” He gives you a trademark smile despite your woes and invites you to follow him to the dining table where he sits down with you, taking your hand in his. “Tell me all about it.”

And you do. He listens diligently, nodding and getting into the gossip playfully, asking about certain coworkers and making silly comments to get you to laugh. Things like, “But they would never!” and “Oh my god, no they didn’t!” along with your personal favorite, a very dramatic “No!” He even makes over the top facial expressions to go with his comedic comments, and he has you laughing with him in no time, the stress of the day melting away under his electric green gaze. Your vent turns into more of a fun story than it does a bad experience. Izuku is a good listener and he’ll always be there for you.

“It was just ridiculous! Man, I can only take so much in one day. Usually I don’t let them get to me, but I couldn’t take both of them coming up to me every five minutes and complaining about each other. You know, as much as they like to talk about each other not doing their jobs, maybe they would get more work done if they just stopped talking and got back to work in the first place!” As you tell him your story, he hums a response, nods, and gets up from the table. He pats your head as he passes by you on the way to the kitchen, and you follow him with your gaze, questioning him silently.

“I’m still listening, love. I can hear you from here, promise! Do go on.”

You continue, not paying much mind to what he’s doing since you’re so engrossed in your tale of idiocy and annoyance turned silly. And he is listening to you, still making eye contact as he moves about the kitchen, still putting his two cents every once in a while. But before you know it, a savory smell hits your nose, and you realize he’s not only started dinner but that he’s practically finished with it by the time you’re done talking. He wastes no time in making two plates and bringing them over, setting one in front of you and the other in front of his usual spot.

You’re extremely grateful to him for taking the initiative to make dinner while you de-stressed after the day’s events, and you make sure to tell him that as you both dig in to his cooking. He learned from the best (bless mama Midoriya). You’re reminded that no matter how bad your day has been, you get to come home to your favorite human being on the whole planet and love him, and be loved by him in return.

“Thanks for making dinner, Izuku. You’re truly the love of my life.” You say it in such a manner that makes your partner laugh, bits of food falling from his mouth as he struggles to swallow properly. “That’s attractive,” you tease, but you’re laughing too. It’s a happy moment for the both of you.

“Good to know you only love me for my cooking!” He jokes. He eyes your plate before not so subtly reaching over and stealing a piece of food. You gasp in mock surprise, but save your revenge for later. There are plenty of ways to get even with him. But for now...

Izuku: 1

Y/N: 0

Katsuki Bakugou

soft bb

“Shit, fuck! God, I hate today!” you exclaim as you slam the car door shut. Bakugou had been kind enough to pick you up from work, and you were glad that it was him driving and not you behind the wheel. You were shaking in your seat, your hands trembling in anger and teeth grinding in frustration as you glared out of the window silently for a moment.

“Bad day?” Bakugou asked gruffly, foot gently pressing against the gas peddle as you took off on the drive home.

“Yeah, you would not fucking believe people. You’d think everyone would listen to directions and stay home since it’s like, oh, I don’t know- the middle of a fucking pandemic?”

“Oh, believe me, I know. People are stupid. Don’t let them get to you, baby.” 

Maybe those words were odd coming from him considering he used to be so angry all the time himself, but Bakugou had really mellowed out since his days at UA, and he knew how to hold his tongue. Unbeknownst to him, however, this was more than a bad day for you. Bad days you could let go of, but this- this was something else. Not quite the worst time you’d ever had at work, but much more than a bad day. Today had been somewhere in between the two, and you weren’t sure what to call it. You’d been yelled at, berated, understaffed, and blamed for pretty much all the problems going on in your specific area even though you were trying your best. There was only so much you could do yourself, and even though you knew it was better to just let it go, you couldn’t. Especially not after what that wretched customer had done to you.

“I’m trying not to, but it’s really god damned hard not to fucking smack a bitch when they invade your personal space and tap on your shoulder. In a fucking pandemic. Actually, I don’t even think she was wearing a mask now that I think about it. How considerate of her.” The words are like venom spitting from your mouth, your fists clenching as you vent to your partner in confidence.

“They did what?” Normally he’s good about keeping his anger in check. Normally, he could handle you venting to him about anything. But someone else touching his Y/N? No way in hell. And during a period of time where touching people was especially rude and inconsiderate? Fucking no way in hell.

“Yeah! Tapped me right on the damn shoulder and didn’t even say excuse me. Words exist! Just tell me you need something and I’ll get it for you! I hate people who do that shit, it’s so unnecessary and rude! And it violates my personal space and creeps me out. I feel disgusting. If you touch me at work, then I’m not liable for anything that happens to you! You get slapped? Then that’s on you, bitch! Don’t fucking touch me!” You finish up your speech with a wild hand gesture, your head shaking in disbelief while you try not to think about too much.

It takes Bakugou everything he has not to just slam on the breaks right then and there and put the car in reverse to drive back to the store and find that piece of trash. If he could give them a piece of his mind, he would. But he can’t, so he settles for the next best thing: comforting you and making sure you’re okay. You did just have your personal space violated after all, so it’s understandable you’re pretty shaken up and angry about the whole thing. He would be too, honestly. 

The rest of the short drive home is mostly silent, save for the small talk you make with each other and the quiet background noise of the radio station that he let you pick. His general rule of thumb is that the driver picks the music, but he knows you’ve had a hard day, so he doesn’t argue when you change it to your preferred station and start drumming your fingers to the beat. He’d rather you wind down this way than keeping it all bottled up. When the two of you finally arrive to your shared home, you let your shoulders fall a bit and sigh as you trudge to the couch, not even bothering to take your shoes off before plopping down and face planting into the soft cushions. You listen as Bakugou wanders off to the bedroom and returns a moment later with a shirt in his hands.

“You said you felt disgusting earlier, so I brought you a new shirt to change into. Figured you probably didn’t want to stay in your work clothes.” His tone is softer, a little more careful since you’re home now and he knows you don’t like to fall apart in public. Home is where your true heart is, with him. If you’re feeling any sort of negative emotion, it’s more likely to come out here. And he wants to offer his help, but... “Do you want some help with it?”

You shift so that you’re sitting up on the couch and raise your arms slightly for him. “That would be nice, since I’m utterly exhausted and worn out. I’d really appreciate it,” you reply honestly.

He hesitates a bit, unsure of something before he asks you a question. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

Your response is immediate. “Of course it is; I trust you. I never mind your touch.”

He smiles at that.

He helps you get changed into the ultra comfy shirt he brought you, and after that the two of you heat up some leftovers before cuddling up in bed together, the worst of the day washed away by Bakugou’s soft fingers running along your side as you lay your head on his chest.

“Thanks for always taking care of me. You do an amazing job at it.” You yawn into his shirt and snuggle your face against it, the soft cotton making you feel safe and secure.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Katsuki.”

Shouto Todoroki

I’m feeling extra soft for Todoroki recently

“Hi, Y/N. How was your day at-” 

Before Shouto can even finish his sentence, you’re flying into a vent about work, passing right by him on your way to the bathroom as you start to pull of your work uniform angrily.

“Oh my god, it was an absolute disaster!” You’re still breathing heavy from all the stress, eyes darting around wildly and face flushed from being mad and under pressure all night.

“What happened, love?” Todoroki coaxes gently. He comes to stand in the door frame of the bathroom and leans against it, his hands in his pockets and hip cocked out to the side. He has a sympathetic look on his face as you explain all your troubles of the day.

“Everything, Shouto. Everything happened. I mean, not everything, but it sure felt like it! Our delivery showed up late, and we didn’t have product all afternoon, so our customers were really angry and I kept getting yelled at! It’s not my fault it showed up late! If I had the product to put out I would! It’s complete and utter bullshit!” You make your way to the bedroom to pick out pajamas, not really caring about the pair you take out of the drawer or anything else for that matter. Your mind was focused on one thing and one thing only: your day at work.

Sometimes you had a hard time winding down from work, especially on days like these, and Shouto knew that. You usually were able to separate work from home fairly well, but occasionally you just needed a little reminder that it didn’t have to follow you home to bed, and he knew how to help with that. He’d seen you like this before, had witnessed your break downs and freak outs over your job and the stress that came with it. Retail was not for everyone. Todoroki always told you that you had the patience of a saint, though everyone had their own limits, and you must have hit yours tonight.

“I don’t appreciate being called names and told that I’m practically useless. Customers can be real fucking snobs all the time. And I was trying so hard too, but even after the delivery showed up, it was busy as hell, and every time I put something up on the shelf they just kept taking it down! I think I sold through at least three boxes of something I normally have to throw away at the end of the week. Seriously! It was a mess, and we didn’t have enough staff because one of us was still suspended, and our normal person who works the backroom doesn’t work weekends, and even our supervisor called off, so it was just me and this other girl. It was awful. I can’t even- ugh! It’s not fair!”

You started to work yourself up, your anxiety skyrocketing as you thought of everything that went wrong earlier. Rationally you knew there wasn’t much you could do about the situation, but that didn’t mean you felt the same way. You should have done more, pushed yourself harder, but you also didn’t want to stay and work overtime on an empty stomach and not a lot of sleep the night before. Shouto must have seen the guilt in your eyes, because the next thing you knew you were being moved to the bed where he wrapped you in the softest blanket he could find, and then he was telling you he’d be right back as he slipped out of the room.

You sat there, a little confused for a while, before you heard a beeping noise from the kitchen and the door to the microwave open and close. Todoroki returned with a steaming mug in one hand and a book in the other, and he said nothing as he set the book and cup down on the nightstand before working around you, positioning a few pillows against the headboard of the bed. He fluffed them up a few times and grabbed the giant comforter, pulling it up over your lap and practically swaddling you. Finally he sat down behind you on the bed and pulled you into his lap, and you rested your head against his chest as he petted your hair softly. Slowly, you felt all the tension from earlier on in the day ebb away into drowsiness and exhaustion.

“Alright, blanket burrito,” he said, referring to your form all wrapped up in soft cotton, “I warmed up a cup of your favorite drink and brought us a book. Do you want me to read to you, or would you prefer to play a video game or movie?” He gazed down at you with a brow raised in question, a look of amusement on his face at the sight of your head just barely peeking out from the blankets.

“If you don’t mind, could you read to me? I like your voice...it’s soothing.” You melted into his touch, work already forgotten about and a wave of calm washing over you. 

“Of course, dear.” He gave you a precious smile and kiss on the top of your head.

Todoroki always knew how to fix your bad days, and he always did so without hesitation and without you having to ask. He handed you the warm mug first which you took gratefully, and then picked up the book and began reading to you.

How did you get this lucky?

[zecretsanta]

(For the Holidays You Can’t Beat) Home Sweet Home

To: @hardcoreprince

From: @pomegranate-belle

This was some of the fluffiest fluff I have written all year and I hope you like it! Happy holidays!

Ao3

It was 9:23am when Carlos heard the knock on his apartment door. He had been cleaning and gathering ingredients since 7:15 in preparation for that knock, and although two hours and fifteen minutes had certainly seemed like plenty of time at the start of it, the truth was that he was still trying to get everything organized.

With an unopened bag of flour still tucked beneath his left arm, Carlos tugged open the door to reveal Junpei and Akane, both of their faces flushed adorably from the cold. He smiled.

“Hey, guys.”

“Hi Carlos!” Akane chirped.

“Hey,” greeted Junpei with a crooked grin.

“You know, my place is pretty far for you two,” Carlos pointed out, quirking a brow as he leaned against the doorjamb. “Why did we do this here and not at one of your apartments, again?”

“Think of it like… A test run!” Akane said pleasantly, her arms piled high with bags of Hershey kisses.

Carlos laughed.

“What, so if you guys like my kitchen enough you’ll finally move in with me?” he joked as he held the door open for her.

“Pretty much,” agreed Junpei, sweeping past with a massive bowl of chilled cookie dough cradled to his chest.

A glance out at the street revealed that Junpei’s junky red car was still stuffed to bursting with baking supplies. And so, after dropping his sack of flour onto the kitchen table and dropping a kiss on each of his partners’ foreheads, Carlos headed down to the car to help transfer things to his kitchen. Even with all three of them, it took two round trips to get everything. The kitchen was overtaken, and the less messy ingredients like bagged candy, pretzels, and nuts were tossed onto Carlos’s bed to make room. Then the three of them washed their hands carefully.

“You couldn’t convince Maria to join us?” Akane asked as she cleared a space on the table to roll out cookie dough.

Carlos shook his head.

“No. Apparently the Klim family is doing a little holiday baking today too, and Phi invited her over. Can’t compete with that,” he explained with a wink.

“Are they actually dating yet, or are they still fucking around ‘not labeling things’?” wondered Junpei.

“Between you and me, I think Phi might ask her out today,” Carlos said. “With any luck. I’m sure we can trust Sigma to be pushy and embarrassing in our place.”

Then he picked up his bag of flour from before and opened it and began ladling flour onto the table with a measuring cup. Junpei pulled the cookie dough out of Carlos’s fridge and began peeling off the Saran wrap covering it. Meanwhile, Akane dug through one of the boxes and produced a plastic bag of metal cookie cutters.

She unsealed the bag and dumped them on a corner of the table that wasn’t covered in flour.

“That’s quite the collection,” Carlos noted, sifting through the pile. “Bells, wreaths, snowflakes… Are these gingerbread people?”

Side-by -side sat two vaguely humanoid cookie cutters, one of which seemed to be wearing a dress.

“It’ll be great!” Akane enthused. “We can make little cookie people that look like us!” “I dunno,” said Junpei, studying the cookie cutter critically. “Don’t you think it’s a little disingenuous to make gingerbread people out of sugar cookie dough?”

“What I think is that you two are putting way too much thought into this,” Carlos said with a laugh.

That seemed to end the discussion. With the cookie dough unwrapped, Junpei went to lift it out and onto the table, but when he tried to release it globs stuck stubbornly to his palms.

“Ah, jeez, just—!”

Junpei flailed his hands, trying to shake the dough off.

“And that’s why we use flour, Jumpy,” Akane said primly, her palms already caked in a layer of it.

She carefully took the majority of the dough out of his hands. Though the dough didn’t come off onto her palms in big chunks like it had for Junpei, it still seemed to want to stick to her. Carlos dipped up another half-cup of flour and sprinkled it over the dough. Akane shot him a grateful smile. After coating the rolling pin in flour too, Akane began rolling out the cookie dough.

“Why don’t you two work on the cookies while I start some of the other things?” Carlos suggested.

Then he detoured into his rooms to grab two bags of pretzel rings and two bags of Hershey kisses. While Akane and Junpei cut out sugar cookies and placed them on baking sheets, Carlos set to work filling another with pretzel rings in careful rows. Then he unwrapped the Hershey kisses and set each one in the center of a pretzel. Almost the moment he had filled the tray, the oven dinged to alert him it was preheated.

Popping on a pair of oven mitts, Carlos slid his tray and one of the trays of cookies into the oven. When he turned back to start filling another tray with chocolate and pretzels, he caught sight of a head of brown hair coated liberally in white.

“Junpei,” Carlos said with a fond sigh, “you’ve got flour in your hair.”

“Ughhhh! It’s not my fault it gets everywhere!” complained Junpei, trying and failing to brush it out with his equally floury hand.

After a few seconds of his flailing, Carlos finally took pity on his boyfriend and, from his higher vantage point, ruffled Junpei’s hair until all the flour was out – or at least, as much as would be dislodged without a shower. There was still a faint stain of whiteness in his hair that reminded Carlos of snowflakes.

Smiling softly, Carlos set the microwave timer for two minutes and an egg timer for twenty, and set back to work filling a baking sheet. Two minutes later, the microwave beeped at him insistently and he turned it off, slipping on his oven mitts again.

“Could someone get the M&Ms?” he asked, pulling open the oven door.

“Got it!” cried Akane, wiping her floury hands on her jeans and leaving stark white handprints behind.

She hurried into the bedroom and returned, ripping off a corner of the M&M bag in her hands. Carlos slid the tray from the oven and held it out for Akane, who carefully pressed one M&M into the center of each melted Hershey’s kiss, squishing them flat and filling the small pretzel rings. After the final one was finished, before Carlos could turn away to set the pan on a cooling rack, Akane stretched up and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

Despite himself, Carlos could feel his ears burn with heat at the unexpected kiss. He was comfortable with them, certainly, but having spent so much of his life single and not interested in more, he was still sometimes startled by such displays. While he was distracted, Akane drew a little heart on his cheek with the flour coating her finger. Then she danced away to do the same to Junpei, though he protested halfheartedly while cutting out a sleigh-shaped cookie.

Their morning continued in such a manner, filled with flour and silly kisses and the ding of timers, until at last the dough had all been used up. The chocolate pretzel rings were cooling on the counters, and Carlos was cooking a pot of caramel to coat their homemade Chex mix. Akane had rolled their dough for thumbprint cookies into evenly sized little balls.

It was only then, as Junpei went to gather supplies to mix up frosting for the cookies, that they realized something was missing.

“We forgot the powdered sugar?” groaned Junpei. “No way, I double-checked everything!”

“I don’t have any in the house either,” Carlos added sheepishly from the stove. “And with this much cooking at once I don’t know if we can afford to send someone out to buy more without burning something.”

The three of them fell silent.

“Two choices lie before us,” Akane said solemnly, her eyes closed, though neither of her boyfriends knew if she was truly consulting the morphogenetic field or not. “We could call Aoi for help and potentially invite disaster, or we could not call for help, in which case we will definitely invite disaster.”

Junpei and Carlos glanced at each other, and then back at Akane.

“Uh… I’m going to go with my gut and pick potential disaster over certain disaster,” Carlos replied.

“Ditto,” agreed Junpei.

Akane’s shoulders slumped.

Ten minutes and one embarrassing phone call later, there was a knock on Carlos’s front door.

But when Junpei opened it, instead of Aoi Kurashiki, in through the door stepped Santa Claus with a gray Wal-Mart sack slung over his shoulder.

“Uhhhhhhh…”

Junpei glanced from the Santa Claus in the doorway back to Akane and Carlos to see if they were seeing what he was. By their expressions, they were.

“I heard there was a good little girl around here who needed some baking supplies?” the red-clad stranger asked in a false-deep voice, and Junpei realized that they weren’t dealing with Santa Claus at all, but another Santa entirely.

There was a smack, and Junpei’s eyes darted to Akane again to find her hand pressed to her forehead.

“Ugh, please tell me you didn’t go to the grocery store dressed like that,” she muttered.

Aoi smirked back, though his sister wasn’t even looking at him.

“How else would I go?”

“It’s December fifth, Aoi!”

“I think you mean Christmas fifth,” he retorted, handing off his shopping bag to Carlos.

The bag was rifled through quickly to make sure it contained what they needed, and then set in the kitchen. Instead of rejoining the group, though, Carlos moved past them into his bedroom.

“I do not mean Christmas fifth,” Akane complained, making her way back into the kitchen with Aoi and Junpei on her heels. “Why do you have to be so embarrassing? I’m grown up now, you don’t have to pretend to be Santa anymore, you weirdo.”

“You know, Akane,” said Aoi, “insulting Santa Claus is a good way to get coal in your stocking. You might have to shift to a different timeline to get any presents.”

“How about I shift to a timeline where you’re not so annoying?” Akane huffed.

“Good luck finding one.”

Aoi and Junpei startled at having spoken in unison, then shared a quick fistbump. Akane groaned piteously.

“Please just take the beard off,” she said to Aoi. “I’m begging you. God is begging you. The entire morphogenetic field is begging you.”

“It’s not in the spirit of Christmas to ask Santa to take off his beard.”

“Aoi…!”

“No, no,” he protested. “Call me Santa!”

“You are the worst!”

Aoi planted his hands on his hips.

“If I was the worst, would I have brought you that powdered sugar you needed?” he asked, taunting his sister by shaking his head to wave his fake beard at her.

Akane puffed her cheeks out angrily. And then she shoved him.

“Whoa—!”

Aoi toppled backwards with a yelp.

Luckily for him, Carlos stepped back into the kitchen just in time to catch him under the arms.

“Hi Carlos,” Aoi said, looking up at Carlos with a grin that even the floofy fake beard couldn’t hide.

“Hey!” Akane protested. “No flirting with my boyfriends! I never flirt with your dates!”

Aoi didn’t deign to give that claim a verbal response. Instead, he leveled Akane with the flattest stare he could manage while wearing a Santa costume and still half-draped against Carlos. Akane glanced away, and had the decency to look a bit ashamed of herself.

A loud beep filled the kitchen.

“That was one time,” she muttered, turning back to get the paper bag of caramel Chex mix out of the microwave. “And she was really cute.”

Akane shook the bag violently, pretending it was her brother. Setting Aoi upright, Carlos cleared his throat and placed the bag of pecans he’d gone to get on the counter. As he did, his eyes glanced over the microwave’s digital clock, and he did a double-take. It read 1:03pm.

“It’s that late already?” he murmured.

Then Junpei was at his shoulder looking too.

“No wonder I’m starving. We should break for lunch.”

On cue, Akane and Aoi’s stomachs growled loudly. Junpei laughed.

“Want to join us for lunch, Aoi?” offered Carlos.

He shrugged in response.

“What’re you guys having?” he asked.

A glance around the kitchen told them all that, whatever it was, it wouldn’t be homemade.

“We can just order something from that burger place downtown,” suggested Junpei. “Cheap, quick, convenient. I don’t really care as long as I get food.”

“Oh, I want their crispy chicken sandwich!” Akane said. “But no tomato. And a small order of French fries?”

“They got wraps there, right? I’ll just take one of those with chicken in it, I guess,” Aoi added.

“Double cheeseburger and fries,” said Junpei.

Carlos nodded, rubbing his chin.

“They still have that burger with the swiss cheese and the mushrooms, don’t they? That sounds good to me, so I guess we’re all in agreement. But who should go order?”

“I’ll go get it, you lovebirds keep cooking,” Aoi insisted.

“No!” Akane raced past him and blocked the door, her arms spread wide. “No way! You’re not going out there dressed like that again!”

“And are you going to stop me, little sister?”

“Yes!”

The argument only devolved from there, into childish insults and mocking nicknames. Junpei watched with interest, nibbling on a leftover pretzel stick that hadn’t made it into the Chex mix. He didn’t seem to be in any hurry to intervene. Which, Carlos realized, meant it was up to him.

“I’ll go,” he said, then louder when the bickering siblings didn’t hear him. “Hey! I’ll go.”

“I will take the ring to Mordor,” Junpei stage-whispered in falsetto.

Carlos bit his lip to cover up a smile.

“Seriously. I’ll get the food, you two,” he said, placing a hand on each of the Kurashikis’ shoulders. “Just keep going with the thumbprint cookies for me, alright?”

Twenty minutes of work later, the caramel Chex mix was drying on wax paper, the small batch of thumbprint cookies had all been baked and thumbprinted, and the chocolate pretzel rings were boxed up in the fridge. Aoi had just finished pulling a tray of sugar cookies out of the oven when Carlos returned with a huge paper bag in his arms.

“Sorry I took so long,” he apologized. “The line was huge.”

“Just gimme the food,” Junpei replied, making grabby hands.

Aoi stripped off the Santa Claus beard at last, so he didn’t end up getting food in it.

“Let’s see…” said Carlos, digging through the massive paper sack and pulling out meals. “A crispy chicken sandwich for Akane, hold the tomato. A double cheeseburger for Junpei. A chicken salad wrap for Aoi… And a mushroom swiss burger for me.”

Akane went up on her tiptoes, peering into the bag.

“And one, two, three orders of fries,” she counted, pulling out her own little box of French fries. “That’s everything.”

Satisfied that everything was as it should be, they settled in to eat.

“Trade you a bite of my sandwich for a bite of yours,” Akane bartered five minutes into lunch, holding out her half-eaten chicken sandwich.

“Tempting,” Junpei replied sarcastically. “Unfortunately, I am already too… Chicken.”

The pun, paired with Junpei’s deadpan expression, caught Carlos so off guard that he snorted soda up his nose and started coughing.

Thankfully that was the only mishap, and once they had all finished eating and thrown their trash in the garbage can, Akane lugged Carlos’s mixer onto the table and started mixing up the frosting. It took several adjustments to get the balance of powdered sugar and milk right for the perfect frosting consistency, but in the end everyone was satisfied with it.

“And now,” declared Akane as she lifted the spatula in the air, “we frost!”

“What colors should we do?” Carlos asked.

“We have to have red and green!”

“Blue,” suggested Junpei, digging through the tiny box of food coloring for Akane’s picks and his own. “And yellow.”

“White,” Aoi said. “You should just leave some plain.”

Carlos nodded, accepting the little bottles from Junpei.

“And what about brown?” he asked.

The other three paused, and then looked at him with equally skeptical expressions.

“Who wants to eat brown frosting?” Junpei demanded, sticking out his tongue.

“But, you know it… I mean… For reindeer and tree trunks and stuff…?” fumbled Carlos.

Akane squinted at him. There was definitely something weird… Carlos could be a hell of an actor, but he also wasn’t good at keeping secrets from the people closest to him. What kind of secret he could have involving the color of frosting was beyond her, but something told her it would be a good surprise so she didn’t ruin it by trying to take a glance downstream in the timeline.

“That makes sense!” she chirped instead.

There was no brown food coloring, of course, so in the end they mixed a few different colors to get it. Carlos was oddly specific about the shade he wanted, and Akane reminded herself very firmly not to cheat with her ESPer powers.

Once five bowls of frosting had been mixed with color and the sixth left plain, Carlos rummaged around in his lower cupboards and pulled out a box filled with white piping bags, plastic rings, and metal tips. Quickly and efficiently, Carlos fitted six bags with the icing tips and secured them with the plastic couplers.

“Wait, you actually have piping bags?” Junpei asked. “What are you, a cooking channel chef?”

“How do you think I frosted Maria’s birthday cake?” retorted Carlos, spooning a glop of red frosting into the bag.

“Uh, I thought you bought it, like a normal person.”

Nonetheless, Junpei pitched in by filling another bag with green frosting. Akane grabbed a spoon and helped out with blue, while Aoi, predictably, filled another piping bag with white frosting. With all four of them working, all six colors were soon bagged and ready to frost with.

“Gonna help us frost cookies, Santa?” Junpei asked with a smirk.

Aoi snorted.

“No way in hell, I’m out. Santa eats cookies, he doesn’t make ‘em. I did my part and now I’m gonna go home and hibernate.”

With a quick half-hug around Akane’s shoulders and a wave for her boyfriends, Aoi was out the door with his Santa Claus beard in hand.

“I’d file that under not-disaster, I think,” Carlos said optimistically.

Akane gave an irritated huff, but made no verbal protest. Then she, Junpei, and Carlos sat down to begin frosting the sugar cookies.

Only a few minutes in, it was clear that the task would not be as easy as it sounded.

“Will it just…! Oh, come on!” Akane muttered, swiping another glob of yellow frosting off the tip of the icing bag with a finger after it refused to stick to the cookie.

Moodily, she stuck the finger in her mouth and ate the frosting off so it didn’t go to waste or make a mess. Junpei, sitting across from her, wasn’t doing much better. But instead of trying to get his designs as pretty as possible like Akane, he had embraced his lack of icing skill and just scribbled lines of blue across several of the cookies nearest him. Carlos, of course, was completely in his element, which Akane found particularly unfair. Still, even he had to occasionally scrape clumping frosting off the tip of his piping bag.

“We definitely made too many cookies,” Junpei groaned after a full hour, massaging his cramping hand. “We’ll never finish frosting them all.”

“If you need a break, you could take the red and start filling the thumbprints,” suggested Carlos. “The red frosting is kind of thin,” he gestured at the cookies with red frosting oozing off them and onto the plastic tablecloth, “so it should be the easiest to use.”

With a worn-out sigh, Junpei got to his feet and picked up the piping bag with the red frosting. But he didn’t complain as he started to fill the divots in the pecan-speckled cookies – Carlos had been right, it was easier. His fingers were still sore from trying to squeeze the blue frosting onto the sugar cookies earlier, but the ache started to ebb. And standing at the counter with the cooling rack full of thumbprint cookies gave him the perfect vantage for looking at his boyfriend and girlfriend. Akane, who faced him straight on, had a cute and familiar concentrated look on her face, the tip of her tongue peeking out of the corner of her mouth. And from the side he got a view of Carlos’s forearms, bared by his rolled-up sleeves and flexing as he worked. Junpei grinned.

Ok, he thought, maybe this was worth a little ache in his hands.

It didn’t take long to finish up with the thumbprint cookies, and Junpei settled back down between Carlos and Akane and dutifully continued frosting sugar cookies.

The next time any of them looked at a clock, it was after 7:00pm.

Carlos sighed, leaning back from the table.

“We should eat supper,” he murmured.

“Ehh, I’m not really hungry,” Junpei admitted.

“Me either,” said Akane. “I guess we’ve been snacking all evening, so…”

In truth, they all just wanted to be done. Seeming to realize this, everyone returned to frosting – this time with a little less creativity and finesse. Carlos even ate a few unfrosted cookies as he worked just to trim down the number they had to finish.

When the final cookie, a bell, was frosted, all three let out a sigh of relief and stood to stretch.

“That… Was a lot of cookies,” Junpei sighed.

Carlos nodded in agreement.

“Maybe next year we only need a half batch of dough.”

“But we did such a good job!” offered Akane. “We should at least take some time to admire them and show each other our favorites.”

Junpei smiled indulgently, leaning back into Carlos’s chest as the blond slung an arm around his shoulders.

“Why don’t you go first then, Kanny? Since it’s your idea.”

Akane gestured to a small forest of green tree cookies in one corner of the table, covered in red and blue garlands and yellow stars.

“Look how good they got!” she said proudly.

“That’s really something,” agreed Junpei, looking impressed.

“Yeah, they’re great!” Carlos said with a smile. “You picked up icing pretty quick, Akane.”

She beamed at them both.

“How about you, Jumpy?”

In reply, he leaned forward and pulled out a cookie from the lineup with a flourish. It was splattered with blue and white frosting in a seemingly random pattern.

“Uh… What is that?” Akane wondered.

“It’s a Funyarinpa, Kanny,” Junpei explained impatiently.

Akane squinted and tilted her head, trying to find any familiarity in the scribbles of icing.

“If you say so Jumpy,” she said at last.

“I think I can see it,” Carlos told them. “It looks good, Junpei. The frosting is really even.”

They all stared down at the Funyarinpa cookie for a few more seconds, thoughtfully.

“And which ones are your favorites, Carlos?” asked Akane.

At that, he moved closer to the table, blocking the cookies from view. After a little bit of shuffling, Carlos stepped out of the way to show the other two.

“Taadaa?” he said with a shrug, splaying his hands.

“Ohhhh, Carlos, they’re so cute!” exclaimed Akane, clapping and bouncing on her toes.

There, in a line, sat three gingerbread-person sugar cookies, carefully frosted. The first had several streaks of brown hair and a grumpy face; it wore a red shirt with a blue vest and blue pants. The second cookie-person was the kind wearing a dress. It also had brown hair, though it fell over the front of its little cookie shoulder in a ponytail, and its face was neutral, almost thoughtful. It wore a white dress with a brown belt, and blue pants underneath. The last cookie had yellow hair, a smiling face, and a simple green shirt with blue pants.

“Of course you blew the rest of us out of the water,” Junpei scoffed, but he was smiling too.

Together they packed up all the cookies into Tupperware and put them into the fridge so they wouldn’t get stale, then bagged the Chex mix. Though there were still plenty of baking supplies and tools scattered around, the kitchen looked kind of empty without the results of their work laid out everywhere.

The glowing numbers on the microwave clock told them it was 9:35pm.

“You can go, if you want to,” Carlos said, suddenly a little hesitant. “I’ll clean this up in the morning, it shouldn’t take too long, so you don’t have to stay if—”

“There’s no way in hell I’m driving home tonight,” Junpei declared.

And so, with floury stains all over their clothes and hands tinted by smears of colorful frosting, the three of them piled into Carlos’s bed for a good night’s sleep.

“… Love you,” Carlos said quietly, in lieu of a goodnight.

A soft yawn filled the air.

“We’re gonna move in,” Akane answered.

“Mmm,” agreed Junpei. “Yeah. But you have to cook breakfast. That’s what firefighters do.”

Too tired to laugh fully, Carlos just let out an amused whuff of air, smiling.

“It’s a deal.”

[talesfromacrip]

more ehh thoughts (recent edition):

w o w

can’t even speak my damn mind anymore in this house I guess without getting the whole, ‘get out then if you don’t like it here. look for a section 8 place and blah, blahhhh’ speech.

the signature speech of my parents when I get on their ‘last nerves’..

all just for speaking my mind. lovely

all bc I said something in regards to something political my dad was talking about. then saying black lives matter after bc it was also apart of the conversation

(which is my opinion)

that word doesn’t sit well in my parents ears.. my dad to be specific apparently.

he then started saying I should just look for somewhere else to go and that if I say that again, something will happen. (not anything violent on me,but make me leave to somewhere else type of happen )

guess my parents (specifically my dad) wants me dead if he wants me to go out and find somewhere else to go. it’s not like, idk, i have a fucking immunocompromised system or anything like that ya know?? also.... during a fucking pandemic as well ?? helllloooo, old man?? i just don’t know anymore sometimes with my parents

caught me off guard a bit and hurt really fucking bad.. like, wow. if that’s how you feel, then let me go which you won’t and won’t admit.

used to it though which is silly to say, but I can’t do anything much about it even if i tried. so, I must deal for now anyway I can.

we settled our differences though which, I’m glad, but I hate that I was the first one to do it. shows how it is in my family at times

-

at least my mom and few friends are on my side. ridiculous to be treated like this for having a fucking opinion.  

doesn’t help either to get teased about it. like I haven’t been most of my life already ya know, shit.

sick of this house sometimes. the people in it, I should say.. sigh

———

———

I feel like I’m not, as ‘feminine’ as a lady should be. adds to my existing body probsss

can’t put makeup on. can’t get my nails done. can’t use bath bombs. can’t use facial creams or certain acne products. can’t buy clothes I’d like to shape my body and whatnot.. it goes onnnn. I would like to do what a lady likes to feel/look her absolute best ya know.

I can’t though. trying?????which doesn’t really go anywhere much tbh

I have an unused makeup palette and lippies going to absolute waste in my drawer.

which, cost me gooood money bc gooood brand. treat myself.

to see it go to waste though,is heartbreaking...

I could be using it now during the pandemic,but I have no one to help me with it. I can’t do it myself with my fucked up arms/hands either so that’s a nope.

my mom won’t help me and I’ve asked. she has more important things to do than make me look like a little clowns spawn.

I have so many ideas and I can’t execute them as I’d like. never can and it hurts. maybe on a drawimg, but having it applied to your face is a much better experience. very relaxing as well,but to take off.. that’s a process

doesn’t help that I’m told I’d look better with it as well, which totally helps my self esteem ya know. "it suits your moon face and covers those acne bits.."

fucking hell.. like, let me be.

guess not though it seems :lllllll

-

I feel gross about my skin.. dry and flaky at times from my medication and bc my body is a lil ass. it’s fucking oily on occasions as well.. ughhh. a whole nightmare, in my opinion

small acne scars,pimples from an imbalanced body in miscellaneous spots and places where they shouldn’t be.. I hate it.

I cannot look at myself without wanting to scream sometimes. I just stare and flip through a plethora of thoughts until I’m sitting there watching myself cry

I can’t buy the right skin products without suffering a break out or some kind of allergic reaction either. that’s how ‘sensitive’ i am.. ughh and people think it’s sooo fucking easy to take care of your skin.

help me out then and do it for me instead of telling me when I’ve said why I couldn’t in the first place..

fucking shit

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I use to do my nails and paint them different colors almost every other week or so when I was younger. that was when I could move them to a certain extent. now i just can’t much for that. maybe?but I don’t want to risk twisting my wrist again. which, oddly helped a bit, but I’m not risking it

can’t even paint my right hand without leaning into a terrible spine position bc of my curled in fingers. it’s "so easy" though.my big ass it is

so, I just leave them bare nowadays

I have chipped and or broken nails anyway from fidgeting and anxiety. so, that’ll get in the way when they’re colored

sigh

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bath bombs are the most elegant form of hygienic self care. a bubbly concoction for your skin to dip in.. ughhhh. sounds so relaxing and funnn

can’t sit in a fucking tub though to enjoy it and I don’t have the walk in ones. just a plain walk in shower. every time I see someone post about them, I melt inside. so pretty with the glitter fragments and the colorsss...mm

how I wish I could endure a porcelain tub to soak and forget about the world for a moment.

I can dream, but that still hurts as well.

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I used to wear slim fitting tops for my stomach bc I was one of the chubby ones ya know.

now, I want to use them more bc my body doesn’t look how I thought it would be at my age. due to medication and lack of movement, just made it worse and it’s not my fault. feels like it is though and I tried. still am and it’s been hard lately with the pandemic. massive buying spells again so, some healthy goods are not available.

apparently though it seems nowadays being ‘thicc’ is in when years before it was absolutely frowned upon.

I got teased for being ‘thicc’ and now I’m somewhat getting praised for it?? kinda weird circus did I buy tickets for? unless I didn’t??

like, what do y’all mean, now it’s in????? stop being such a rude wad of shit and quit playing with people like this.

I don’t know what to accept much anymore and it’s bothers me so damn much

even if you do get praised,you must meet the standards. with some that is, I should say. must be at least some sort of skinny. some sort of, shaped being that I don’t really want to explain bc I feel it’s obvious.

some disabled folks are almost never in this section and when so, seems very fetishized.

hopefully this paints a small picture or whatever size you prefer your canvas to be. I’ve already talked about my body and more like this just gets me upset

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uggh why are people still making stupid party plans, going to crowded places and doing other irresponsible shit... during a fucking pandemic?? It’s literally s o fucking irritating.

these people do not grasp this it seems, but ooooooohhh. gotta go out and risk it for someone who doesn’t even care about my health,others and even themselves.

fucking dumb

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funny to see them complain about being home and all bc of this. like, how do you think I’ve felt and countless other disabled folks like me? sucks h u h. no freedom to go anywhere for risk of a fucking accident or worse, d e a t h.

it’s easy as hell to stay home and keep yourself occupied but apparently it’s a big ass deal

read, write, draw, cook, c l e a n. go out in your, idk, backyard as your outside relief?? is it really that b a d of a need to go somewhere??

especially when eventually it’ll drain you and you’ll eventually go back h o m e anyway ??t’s ridiculous.

"you should be thankful you can even go out."

yeah, to appointments, groceries, and concerts o n l y.

I don’t have the fucking privilege to go out at my own leisure and when I do, I have to plan like a mf.

it’s not easy. can’t drive. van is always busting on us. parents are my only source of a ride. can’t even generally go out anywhere bc of stupid stairs and all that.

I swear. every time I see a friend, mutual or family put something like that.. irritates me. I wanna comment so bad,but I don’t want to start anymore drama.

maybe soon I will. who fucking knows

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———

i miss shows and all, but I just don’t as much.

I’m paranoid to think of going to future ones now..

I’ve already missed a majority of concerts my whole childhood and teen years due to my disability.

I don’t want to miss out on my young adult life now that I’m somewhat in a ‘better state’ bc some of y’all don’t want to be cautious and follow rules.

shows are therapeutic for me, but idk anymore now if it’s makimg me like this

disabled folks like myself who enjoy these shows are in so much fucking danger, it’s ridiculous.

we already were anyways with moshing and all.. which I know some act like they don’t know.

y’all are so desperate to go like, what about the other fandom folks who can’t even attend these shows though?? sad

these lives performances some artists have been doing are perfect and we need to support them more with this format. encourage the fuck out of them like the do to us with their music and whatnot.

I was so fucking thankful DGD did one.

it was a great time, but not so great when everyone is like, but what about an ‘actual show’?

it’s just, never enough with some of the fans I swear. irritating

yeahhh ,lets risk the fuckin band/bands getting sick so they can play for us. yasssss. shows how much they read up on the members and care about their health/wellbeing.

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———

being sober brings back a lot of suppressed memories. nights are bit hard when going through this

makes me remember quite a bit of conversations that others have probably or most likely have forgotten by now as well

irritating and sad. that’s how I get some of my dreams as well which cause lack of sleep at timessss y a y

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I, over share too much at times it seems.. how the hell do people want to know me though????

if I’m making the situation, odd or whatever, fucking tell me instead of ignoring it and trying to move on with some stupid shit

if I can fucking sit through y’alls oversharing.. can with fucking mine

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———

I hate how everything that’s so wholesome and genuine I see, I can barely even do and say..

I especially hate how I imagine it with someone who deserves better. this is wearing me out I swear to fucking god

I put some of my eggs in the wrong basket.. again

ohhh fucking boooyyy

least it’s a good basket..

———

sometimes I feel so uneducated when taking with friends. my mind is like a fucking mad libs book on new game plus.

it’s blanks out and replaces important vocabulary with some silly childish shit instead