#uhhhhh what else do i tag this stuff as even. god it's been like two or three weeks huh sorry folks.

[tbcanary]

life's been crazy lately so i didn't manage to get this done in time for the day itself. but, you know, happy belated birthday jason todd! sorry about the that.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC I HAVE A QUESTION. VERY IMPORTANT. what on EARTH is the suckening. i have seen posts on ur blog with blood and such tagged jrwi suckening and i am so so intrigued i love blood and gore and fucked up homoeroticism <3 pls pls pls tell me what the suckening is i am on my knees begging rn

oh dude holy fucking shit . so. u know i have been posting about jrwi it has been my main thing since like november. well. in case u do not know. its a dnd podcast run by charlie slimecicle, grizzlyplays, condifiction and bizly. their main campaign is called Riptide and its the one with the fish guy and all the pirates. WELL. they have a patreon and on their patreon they sometimes do mini campaigns! let me preface this by saying i have never even REMOTELY had an interest in paying for ANYTHING on patreon only because i fuckinf hate subscription payments and also im usually hesitant about paying money for fandom things especially in the content creator sphere etc etc you know how it is . HOWEVER. god their pther campaigns are so fucking worth it dude. the long running secondary main campaign thats been going along around the same time as riptide is called Prime Defenders and its a superhero themed one! i am just at the beginning of season 2 rn its so good william wisp my absolute beloved. (something else rlly cool is that they rotate being the dm for each of the campaigns and i think that makes each of them really fresh and unique bc everyone has a different dm style and a different way of telling a story. god i fucking love dnd and collaborative storytellint its incredible)

ANYWAY IM GRTTING SIDETRACKED. so during hiatuses from riptide and pd they sometimes run limited campaigns that only go for a handful of epsiodes. one of this is. regrettably. called the Suckening. its run using the vampires: masquerade ttrpg setup and ruleset which is. obviously. centered around vampires. CHARLIE SLIMECICLE is the dm and i fucking love it because god that man has a mind for horror. (he also ran blood in the bayou which was a 4-epispde mini campaign using call of cthulu and ive listened to it like 3 times now bc its got nasty bug body horror in it hooooly shit its so good) ANYWAY. um . its not *as* homoerotic as the fanart makes it out to be. just a warning. but there is a scene where two homies drink each others blood (one is a human one is a vampire. theres this think in the masquerade called blood bonding and its like. if you get a human to drink your blood on three separate occasions they become your servant basically. really homoerotic stuff in theory) and when the vampire is scolded for it he goes "well he already loves me. hes my boy" and they generally have that dynamic going on. fizzfangs i lvoe you.

ANYWAY UHHHHH. the first ... four? five? episodes are up for free on YouTube and theyve got a fun little visual novel style to them with the official character art :] heres a link 2 the first ep!!

the rest (there are 8 episodes as of rn!) are totally on patreon but if u end up listening and liking them enough to want the rest hit me up because ive got those download links i can share with u bc ur my beloved mutual and i love sharing things with my friends so they dont have to pay for them <3

[crazycookiecrumbles]

A Precious Teen

A/N: UHHHHH. Okay. So this is in my Stark!ReaderVerse! Feedback, as awlays, extremely appreciated and desired. I just needed something random, short, and silly to write so we have this mess now.

TAG LIST NOTES:  I have no idea how to efficiently make a tag lists and am lazy as shit, so I would recommend post notifications just bc i’m, well,…tired lazy person

Pairings/Characters: Shang-Chi x Stark!Reader, Peter Parker x Stark!Reader (PLATONIC), Katy Chen, mentions: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers

Warnings: fluff/crack drabble? I don’t know how to categorize it. swears.

Summary: Bringing Peter Parker to San Francisco seemed like a good idea at the time.

WC: 1,526

“You know, I’m glad we made up, Ms. Stark,” Peter Parker said as he walked down the street with you. “I mean, yeah, my entire life is a mess and everything I once knew is either gone or just super different. And you kind of abandoned me completely after Mr. Stark died, which I guess makes sense because he’s your dad and you’re unstable — “

“Bro — “

“But I’m glad we can, like, hang out and do stuff again,” he said as he looked over to you and smiled softly. “Selfie?”

You chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, kid, we can take a selfie. And I’m glad we made up, too.”

“Well, you made up to me. I did nothing wrong. I’m actually the victim here,” Peter said as you stood behind him and grabbed his shoulders while leaning into the frame to smile.

“Peter, don’t make me embarrass you. I will tell the nearest stranger that you get tingles and don’t know what to do with them.”

“That’s not even —“

“I will lie.” You vowed.

He pouted before he started laughing. Grinning, you ruffled the hair on his head and continued your walk with him. You and Peter had finally made up after not speaking to each other since Tony’s funeral. Essentially, you had ignored him, much like you did Pepper and Morgan, because if anyone reminded you of your dad, it was the prodigy he had been working on, Peter.

You decided as part of making it up to Peter, and all his problems in New York, you’d steal him for a little while. You brought him down to San Francisco for a week of his spring vacation, and you decided you were going to show him something that would absolutely make him lose his mind completely.

“So am I meeting your boyfriend or something?”  Peter asked. “Happy said you had one, but he didn’t say who it was or anything. Is he, like, some famous guy? A tech genius? Oh, that journalist guy, Eddie Brock?”

You raised an eyebrow, “You really don’t know?”

“No. Should I?”

You chuckled, “You’re gonna love this.”

You two walked into the restaurant and you stopped by the front to look around. You spotted Shangqi sitting next to Katy, the two of them chatting over the menu before he saw you. Grinning, he waved you over and elbowed Katy. You grabbed Peter by the backpack and started to drag him with you.

“Hey, babe,” Shangqi stood up from his seat and pulled you in for a kiss. He gingerly cradled your face and pecked your lips twice, his third kiss lasting a few seconds longer before he pulled away. He looked around you to Peter and smiled brightly. “Hey. You must be Peter. I’m —“

“Holy shit,” Peter breathed. “You’re freaking Bus Boy!”

“Oh, no…” Shangqi’s smile faltered as he trailed off.

Katy, however, beamed. She grabbed Shangqi by the shoulders and nodded enthusiastically, “He absolutely is Bus Boy. That’s right. Hi, I’m Katy, and this is the one and only Bus Boy is right here. This was the boy on the bus and —“

“You were the driver!” His hands were in his hair, phone smacking him on the head but he didn’t care.  “Oh my god, you are, like, so freaking cool! Your driving is sick!”

“I know. I’m the Asian Jeff Gordon,” Katy beamed.

Peter looked up at you, “I can’t believe you’re dating bus boy.”

“I know, right?” You chuckled as Shangqi quickly pulled your chair out for you before he took his own seat. You and Peter were now sitting across from Shangqi and Katy, and before you could say anything else, Peter spoke up again.

“Wow. He’s kind of like Steve, huh?”

The water that had been on the table for you was now out of your mouth and all over Shangqi. Your boyfriend looked traumatized as he sat there processing this. In contrast, Katy’s eyes were so bright, her smile was so big, you really thought her face was going to explode.

“Please, please, please tell me more,” Katy said quickly.

“Please, no,” you whimpered.

“Oh, so not with the whole abandoning you for some English lady, but I mean, like, you know. He pulled out your seat, stood up to greet you. Fights super well, bet he’s protective, right?”

“Soooo protective,” Katy agreed. “Like, overly so. It’s overbearing, but she thinks it’s super hot.”

“Katy!” You growled.

All the while, Shangqi sat there dripping wet and quietly traumatized.

“Yeah, so, Steve, you know what I mean? She kind of has a type.”

You blinked, “Holy shit. I’m going to have to tell Aunt May you’re dead. Because I’m gonna kill you.”

Katy cackled, “You hear that, bro? Being a gentleman makes you Steve Rogers. I bet you hate yourself right now, don’t you? I mean, 15-year-old you would be so flattered, but present you definitely wants to set yourself on fire.”

Shangqi finally lifted a napkin to  dry his face and his clothes as he addressed Peter,” Thanks, Peter. I kind of appreciate that compliment.”

“Oh, yeah. Totally. I only meant the good stuff about him, not the awful part where he abandoned everyone in his life.”

Katy looked to you, still painfully smiling, “So how does it feel to know you basically went from White Steve to Asian Steve?”

You shook your head, “Stop, no. There’s no similarities there. He’s young. Steve is old. Steve is stubborn  and stupid.”

“Things that can be said about your boyfriend,” Katy said.

Shangqi rolled his eyes, “Thanks, Katy.”

“Just speaking the truth.”

You and Shangqi looked at each other. You shook your head and shrugged. You didn’t even know what to say aside from the fact that you were going to have to murder Peter as vengeance. Shangqi was just sitting there trying to process this and figure out whether that was concerning or somewhat flattering.

Peter smiled, “And now we’re even, (Y/N). So, Katy, right? What’s good here.”

While they talked over the menu, you leaned over the table  and grabbed your boyfriend’s hand. He did the same to you, squeezing your hand with a dazed look on his face that showed that he might be traumatized from this dinner.

“You’re dealing with drunk Stark, tonight, just so you know. I’m drinking a lot now,” You nodded firmly.

“Same,” he agreed. “Absolutely same, yeah.”

“Are we still doing karaoke after?” You asked.

“Well, yeah, now I need that to soothe my soul. Can I crash at your place after? I’m off tomorrow.”

“Yeah, absolutely. We’ll snuggle the trauma away and I’ll make pancakes in the morning if I’m not super hungover.”

“Great, great, good. Thank god,” He breathed as he brought your hand up to his to kiss your palm.

“Hey, not to interrupt this cute trauma bond,” Katy began. “But, just to be sure, you said tonight was going to be your treat, right…?”

You nodded, “Yeah. Still is.”

“Great,” Katy turned to Peter and grinned, “Kid. You’re gonna absolutely die.”

“Agreed,” you and Shangqi muttered under your breaths.

“Sick. Okay, so you order, Katy. I’m good with anything,” Peter nodded. “I just gotta take some pics. I gotta show my friends. Oh, let’s do one now!”

In the selfie that Peter took, he and Katy had the biggest, brightest grins on their faces. You and Shangqi, however, still looked like you were not even in your own heads as you  stared at anywhere but the camera, a forced smile on your face as you thought about his comparison to Steve.

“Man. I’m gonna tell the group chat to tell Steve what you said. I’m sure that won’t make him try to get you back some more at all,” Katy laughed as she grabbed her phone.

Now it was Peter’s turn to spit his water, comically enough, at Shangqi, before facing you, “He’s trying to get you back?!”

“I hate this,” Shangqi muttered under his breath.

You glared at Katy who cringed, “Oops? Oh, look, Bucky sent a crying laughing emoji! Good for him. He’s getting used to this stuff. Oh, Sam just said they should beat up Spider-Kid.”

“I agree,” You added.

“Same,” Shangqi added quickly. “Very much same. Katy, can you just order my usual? I’m going to stick my shirt under the hand dryer in the bathroom and hope that helps. Excuse me.”

Peter watched him leave, “See? Even excuses himself like Steve would.”

Katy giggled, “Kid, I like you. You help me bully them. You’re fun.”

“Thanks! I really try. You know, she abandoned me for how long now? I gotta play catchup.”

‘Mhm, yeah, his sister is like that too. Ten years he abandoned her.”

“That’s a lot of bullying she's’ gotta catch up on.”

“So much bullying, yeah, yeah. She’s super hot though. I’d let her bully me,” Katy shrugged and glanced at you, “ You good, (Y/N)?”

You laughed nervously at Katy before grabbing the attention of a nearby waiter, “Can I have three rum and cokes? Thank you.”

Katy blinked, “Oh, that’s not what I —“

“That’s for me,” you told her. “I need it.”

[childoffantasy]

2021 Year End Fic Review

@stinastar has tagged me in like 2 of these now haha so I’m finally Doing The Thing

How many stories did you complete?

Posted 23 works on AO3 plus uhhhhh about a dozen assorted fics Not On Main

What is your total word count for the year?

81,063 on AO3 (and I just had the shocking realization that if we count the Not On Main stuff I’m almost certainly up over 100k for the year which is fucking me up)

What fandoms did you write in this year?

The Witcher, Lord of the Rings and one work in my crossover between Tamora Pierce’s Tortall and the Witcher that I keep swearing I will work on more, rip. Oh and I haven’t written any yet, but I did have a few ideas bounce around for The Locked Tomb

Did you write more, less, or roughly about what you expected?

Wayyyyy the fuck more, yeeha. I have been writing fic for years, but most of that amounted to half-finished wips that rarely if ever got posted, so I’m still getting used to thinking of myself as a Fic Writer even after a year and a half of writing stuff in the Witcher fandom.

What's your favorite story of the year?

What, you want me to pick a favourite child??? Ye gods. I’m gonna say The Herald Announcing at least in part cause it’s recent so I still remember the details lol. But it’s Éowyn and Faramir and Éowyn being very gender and Faramir being very sweet and I love them a lot your honour.

What is your most underappreciated story of the year?

Mmm I’m torn again rip. I think in terms of kudos compared to how much I like them, my Ciri/Coën fics (so get up to get some action and I like it between my...) are what I think deserves more attention. However, I am aware that’s a pairing that would set off the warning bells for a lot of people, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Psst if anyone’s curious, Ciri is grown in the fics and it’s not a mentor/student kinda deal at all)

Biggest fanfic-related surprise of 2021?

Passing 100k posted on AO3, hands down. Two years ago I would never have expected myself to be capable of writing that many words, let alone a single 23k long work. thats-growth.gif

Something you look forward to working on in 2022?

God I have so fucking many fic ideas all of the time and I am so excited about all of them always. I’ve got a couple more LotR WIPs on the go, and a Tortall wip that I’m trying to bully myself into working on and plans to write some fix-it following season 2 of the Witcher, the list goes on, and my ideas word doc keeps expanding help

Uhhhhhh tagging people. @gendzl @storyranger @machtaholic if any of y’all feel like it go ham! Anyone else who wants to talk about their shit also go ham!

[dredshirtroberts]

Tagged by @tumbleweedtech!!

What is your total word count on AO3?

Oh thank god you're asking me to look there where they calculate it for me so i don't have to try and figure it out across all eleventy-million of my fucking WIPs xD.

uhhhhh looks like...274,424 heh. that's lower than i thought but then again I post very little of what i actually write so...

How many fandoms have you written for?

On AO3? if I lump the related ones together (which i do) it's 4. If we're talking across the board in general? uh...f u c k. there's so much i haven't posted or thought about posting yet. just go ahead and like. add ten more on top of the four fandoms on AO3 i think that's about close if we're counting crossovers and inspired-bys

What were your top 5 fics by kudos?

Right Back to the Beginning

Constellations

Please, What?

Spearwort, Iris and Ash: Spearwort Yellow for Joy

Lia & Em's Adventure In Thedas Part I: The Wrath of Heaven

Do you respond to comments - why, why not?

I... want to? I try sometimes, if someone's comment touches me or came at a particularly bad time. It's overwhelming to respond to people - I'm a lurker by nature and never really grew out of the habit of teen-me knowing i wasn't supposed to be looking at the fics i was reading and so i wouldn't interact with them or the authors at all. So it can be hard to like. reconcile that I'm a fully grown adult person who is allowed to not only read and write what i enjoy but also that like. other adult people are reading and enjoying what i write? and that they'd want to tell me? I admit to also falling out of what little habit i'd started due to continued weirdly critical (yet not *negative*) comments that just. rub me the wrong way so I can't figure out how to respond? yeah.

What's your fic with the angsty-est ending?

Again I guess if we're going by what's actually posted, I'd probably have to say the Super Fucking Old fic I added from my FF.net days: A Late Summer Afternoon (hopefully that's the right link - sometimes copy and paste doesn't work the way i want). warnings for MCD. I...imagine you might be able to pick up on why that one's my angstiest ending xD I generally try to like. end my stories on a positive note? even if it's not all better yet - so the second angstiest would be Color of Your Eyes or Have This probably. Likely more Have This over Color of Your Eyes but they're both relatively tame as compared to my earliest writing xD

Do you write crossovers?

Uh...yes but i haven't posted any yet. Most of the reason nothing I write gets posted is because I am incapable of writing small projects and I get nervous about posting chapters before i know where i story is going yet because i feel like i can't edit if it's been posted? Anyway I'm going to try and get over that eventually. Not right now, though. I still have to edit some stuff.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Hate is a strong word. I...assume most people who have commented mean well, regardless of how their comments may come off to me on my end. Several have rubbed me the wrong way due to phrasing and an inability to read tone over text-based communication, but I refuse to believe they would have kept reading if they didn't like most of the story. Certainly it has been generally positive feedback across the board so I don't feel comfortable at all calling any negative comments i've received (intentional or not) "hate"

Have you ever had a story stolen?

As far as I'm aware, no. Thankfully I tend to write shit that people just don't care that much about so I'm pretty safe I think. Watch that come bite me in the ass xD

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nah. I hope one day to be proficient in my target language and will be able to translate my own fics myself but see aforementioned note about how no one really cares that much about what i write xD it won't happen unless i do it myself.

What is your all time favourite pairing?

You want me? to pick favorites? in THIS economy?

What is a fic you would like to finish but don't think you ever will?

currently none are looking like "never gonna finish"es which is good. RBttB sat unfinished for a long while and I probably won't polish the ending on that one, but it's technically done. I also don't want to finish that one either so. it wouldn't have fulfilled the requirements of the question.

Writing strengths?

You want me? to compliment myself? in THIS econo- alright alright i know, it's a terrible joke. Uh...I understand i'm pretty good at smut. and descriptions? i think? I feel like my humor is unparalleled but that's also because i'm pretty sure i'm the funniest person in my apartment (we'll just casually not mention i live alone...) Seamless integration of current and historical memes? Puns? i don't know. i am super confident about writing but i couldn't tell you for sure what i'm actually strong at.

Writing weaknesses?

uh. Getting anything finished. endings. d i a l o g u e. writing. flow. pacing. repetition. writing. see what i did there? i told you my humor was awesome. no but really i struggle with actually starting to write and then it ends up being a lot of me repeating myself a bunch until i find the sentence or four that work best. and like. my pacing is weird so it can be hard to...figure out what i'm trying to say? oh and commas. i use commas wrong.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages?

I enjoy the shit out of it. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but I try really hard to get it right. if I'm not 100% positive it's correct I will change the whole sentence. mostly because i only know a handful of people who know languages other than English and I am bad at reaching out for help when I need it. mostly the second part though.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

YuYu Hakusho! A friend and I wrote this epic fucking self-insert not-quite-isekai style fanfic back and forth in notebooks back in the 6th grade (which was about...oh. nearly 20 years ago jesus i'm old). Only one of my notebooks survived when she decided anime was demons and the devil trying to tempt her away from Jesus so a lot of the story was lost. It was also in pencil so it's half worn out of the notebook as it is. then there was the phase i went through where i decided i could make my notebooks more interesting by cutting them into shapes which lost me a bit of text in the margins that i'd forgotten about... look we're mostly lucky i had it at all or that i've kept it all these years. Why do i still have it?...hm.

What's your favourite fic?

Of mine? So far it's probably a toss-up between Spearwort, Iris and Ash and Lia & Em's Adventure in Thedas. you know. My two biggest projects Oh...oh possibly also the Current-Reworking-The-Title fic I've started that I've not posted anything of yet in the Arcana fandom. Which is also a huge major project. I don't write small if I can help it, apparently.

of someone else's? You want me? to choose favorites? in THIS- yes i know that's the same joke three times. I think it changes based on what I need most out of my fic reading experience. I have an extensive bookmark collection on AO3. one of them in there's probably holding a spot as favorite, most likely.

Tagging: @concertconfetti, @daughterofdungeonbat, and anyone else who wants to do this! If you want a specific tag to do this, please LMK and i'll tag you <33

[dis--parity]

get to know the mun!

repost, don’t reblog.

———  basics! ♡

(PEN)NAME: Aria (some may know me as Verseau)

PRONOUNS: she/they

ZODIAC SIGNS: Aquarius sun, Cancer moon, Saggitarius Rising

TAKEN OR SINGLE: taken by two lovely people,,,

———  three  facts! ♡

I’m trans! I’ve only just started HRT this year after jumping through a couple hurdles but I’m over half a month in now and I couldn’t be happier with my progress so far! I’m hoping to be even more outwardly feminine in my daily life in 2021 and I’ve already taken a lotta good steps towards that!

I’m a student of mechanical engineering (though I kinda wish I was doing electrical engineering or software engineering bc I’m so much better at that)! My early aspirations for robotic science kinda got birthed into Alex’s interests in-character, and though I definitely retain an interest in it, if not just for writing her character then because robots are fuckin awesome, I dunno if I’ll be able to find a career in it myself... I’ve yet to really figure out what I wanna do with it but I’ll get there someday!

Alright this is a bit of a weird story but listen... I went to this like, catholic private school when I was doing secondary school (high school for you yankees) so we had to have mandatory services in chapel. And, y’know, kids don’t wanna be sat there listening to bible stories for half an hour of their lunch break so our chaplain occasionally spiced things up by bringing shit in. So, one day, he’s telling the story about adam and eve and the snake in the tree, two other kids played adam and eve (they weren’t naked before you ask, why would you think that) and I played... the tree. So I just,, stood there? And then we got to the part where the snake appeared in the tree, at which point the science teacher pulled out this FUCKING BALL PYTHON HE KEPT AND WRAPPED IT OVER MY SHOULDERS. SO,, i just had to stand there and stay calm while this snake was coiling around my neck and everyone else was looking at me all :monkaS: like,,, I got out ok but that’s all I was known for for like a week after that service, god.

———  experience ! ♡

Ooosh, I’ve been in the RP scene since, uhh... 2014? 2015? Embarrassingly enough my first few roleplays were in the F/NA/F scene on shamchat and chatzy with a group of friends (which I got to via reddit of all places). After that, I migrated to tumblr and got involved in the scene while re/born/ica’s AU was The Scene in that rpc, eventually my character (it was only Iris at the time, but I eventually brought Alex in too) evolved into fandomless OCs and I stuck around the tumblr rpc for the next few years to come. I also love roleplaying on discord and I’m generally better with activity there and better at organising threads so if y’all wanna move any threads to a private discord server just hmu! My discord is V.Aria#3817

———  muse preference !  ♡

Oooh,,, I think my OCs are actually pretty flexible when it comes to this kinda thing. Alex is the poster child of the blog (always has been tbh,,) but I love love LOVE getting interactions with yeong-hui and garis as well!! The theme of this blog is actually about their diverging stories and how they both coped with similar trauma in vastly different ways (highlighting the disparity between their ways of life, their circumstances, and who they are as people). As for the kind of people I prefer to interact with,,, let’s get this straight, I like a bastard character who’s kinda tastefully awful to others but not in a severe way but if your character is just Asshole then like. chances are we won’t get along. I’m also vvv much a fan of chaotic muses, smart muses, and definitely muses with a more compassionate personality bc y’know what? that’s kinda exactly what they need!

———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    

FLUFF: Oh yes!!! I love love love both romantic and platonic fluff, just the kind of quality time and gift giving and shit that forges a bond between characters? Good shit, all the time! I love plotted romances so if you have an interest in that don’t hesitate to hit me up bc I’ll definitely do that for you whenever I get the chance

ANGST: OHOHOH... I haven’t actually had the chance to write a lot of angst recently, but both of my characters are BUILT for that shit! I wanna be able to have a plot where just, outbursts happen, trauma gets the better of the muses and they break down and they need comfort, or one of them gets badly hurt or in a bad situation and we’re forced to see how the other one contends with the situation!! I haven’t written that in so so long and I wanna see more of it!!

SMUT: I get it’s not for everyone and I tag all my nsfw on here bc of that (i’ve been thinking of making an nsfw sideblog but idk if there’s any interest,,) but! Writing smut and intimacy between muses is peak shit and I’m ALWAYS down for it!! Both of my muses are down for one night stand stuff as well - although romantic smut is the GOOD good shit always, it’s also really interesting to see how relationships develop as a result of sleeping around and just,,, otherwise casually interacting!

PLOT / MEMES: I find it easier to jump into interactions with a good open starter or an ask meme - I’m actually embarrassingly reliant on ask memes to really get any interaction going one way or the other so I encourage reblogging them and sending some in to me as well!! However! A plotted relationship dynamic is also very very good, I love exploring dynamics like two muses being coworkers/business associates, or roommates or just, someone they met at a bar or something. That’s just for setting the foundation but I also love throwing out ideas for interactions between our muses!! When I get sent a sentence starter meme I always have fun answering them and always look for a thread to sprout from them!!!

tagged by: @aemiliiu​ (thanks so much hun!!!) Tagging: uhhhhh,,,, I dunno who else would appreciate this but if you wanna have a crack at it, do it and tag me!

[thorsstorms]

Abroad Pt. 17

(Chris Hemsworth x Reader)

Summary: Being the Hemsworth Kids’ Nanny, you were vowed to keep it strictly professional for their sake, but do the stolen glances go unnoticed between you both?

Word count: 7.5k, uhhhhh sorry

Warnings: none. 

A/N: if you want to be tagged, PLEASE SEND AS AN ASK, or it will get lost in my notifications and I may not see it. 

Masterlist

“Ok, who do we call next?” You asked Chris. “Both parents, my brother is good. Let’s call Luke. Wait, you FaceTime Luke and I’ll FaceTime Liam and we can do it at the same time!”

“At the same time? Liam will get jealous if he knows I called Luke first.” It was late, you figured Liam ought to be awake by now. You and Ty FaceTimed your parents for almost an hour this morning, both of you waking early to do so. Chris just called his mom and spoke her excitement for another grandbaby.

“Yea it’ll be fine.” You both clicked their names and they started to ring. You took a deep breath and looked over at him, pecking his lips. He mimicked you, sprawled across the bed, propped on your elbows. You weren’t nervous, but there was something about actually saying it, and telling someone that you are pregnant. It makes it more real for you. Chris leaned his head to the side and slightly knocked his with yours before turning back to the phone, watching Luke pop up. His face was illuminated only by the light from the screen.

“Guess what?” Chris sang to him. You leaned over into his camera view and waved.

“Oh Jesus, is she knocked up?” A loud throaty laugh came from you, you threw your head back before leaning forward and putting your face in the blankets trying to hide the growing red. You felt Chris’s arm come over your back while he pulled a ‘my bad’ as a reply.

Just then Liam answered obnoxiously seeing both your faces on screen.  Chris repeated his ‘Guess what?’ and Liam cocked his head to the side at his brothers weird tone before he looked sceptical.

“Wait wait! Is the Mrs. home?” You asked quickly.

“Surprisingly, yes she is. MILEY!!” His voice echoed through his house so strong that it trailed through the speakers on your end. You heard her scream back a ‘WHAT’ just as loud.

“(Y/n) and Chris are on the phone.” His normal voice returned when she got closer, saying hi.

“Okay Chris, one more time.”

“Guess what?” You giggled at him this time. He was so excited he couldn’t keep himself from displaying it.

“Oh my. God,” Miley chanted, “You are getting married!”

“No! No, oh my goodness,” you couldn’t hold back your laugh, leaning into Chris’s side, one hand of yours going to hold the side of your head. Too much excitement.

Chris felt his breath get stuck in his throat, there is only one other person on this planet that should know about the ring. Good thing the sounds of his heart beating through his chest were one hundred percent masked by your laugh, the music to his ears.

“Then what else are you both so crazy for? You both make me sick with the lovey dovey stuff. Honestly!” Miley’s words were lighthearted, but you couldn’t help the look that comes across when he’s with you. Especially for so little jumps at a time.

You looked at Chris and whispered, “You tell them.” All while communicating a wince that tells him you were too loud for your own good. He placed a gentle kiss to the side of your head and turned his attention to the other two who were not so patiently waiting.

“We are having a baby!”

Chris loved watching you speak, your reactions to their reaction. He felt his face grow hot at his sister-in-law’s accusation, gauging your own reaction. Your laugh had died down quick and you bowed your head in your hand, he knew what that meant. It had only been three days. The bruising had turned new colors, and the headache was still going strong but you were talking and engaging more than the past few days, granted, he hadn’t heard you laugh like this in awhile. He watched you still get dizzy if you stood up to fast, watched you balance yourself as you walked through the house by grabbing various objects to keep you straight. It was all the small things that you probably didn’t even notice yourself doing, but he did. He watched you constantly, not just to make sure you were okay, but to admire.

You were so strong willed about not being lazy with your injury. You carried on as much as you could and spent time with your guests every second of the day. It was admirable, stubborn. The doctor told you to take it easy for a few weeks so you and the baby stay stable as head injuries can be fatal to young pregnancies. There were things you asked him to do, like if it required going up and down the stairs, reaching for things low and high, carrying things around. And he did them happily, a victorious smile plastered to show off.

The bashfulness was slowly coming back, it had been only days since he saw it, but it was so undeniably you. You blushed more and more often and he loved to make you purposefully. It never got old. The rose in your cheeks when you smiled away from him, diverting your eyes, a weak hit on his arm. The tease in his smile to make sure you realize he does it on purpose. He can’t help but admire it, want to kiss the rose from your cheeks, or lift your head so you’d meet his eyes while you blushed because it was only once in a blue moon.

This afternoon while you were leaning against the counter in the bathroom trying to pull up your hair. He came in the doorway and your silhouette made him smirk. He figured to distract you from the colorful bruises, he’d make you smile. He kissed your neck and called you beautiful in passing to his closet where he was grabbing shoes. His hands to in sync with his words, feeling your pregnant tummy every chance he got. That was all it took for you to not be able to look him in the eye. He was touchy, but made it so innocent that it drove you wild. It wasn’t meant to make your heart flutter, but it does and sends your mind into the dark depths, not meant for pure daylight hours.

You both ended your calls and sighed. Those two are so different. Luke was hanging up pretty fast saying he was already sleeping. Something you should be doing at this hour as well. You laid face first on the bed, your arms holding you up so you could breath but all the talk was catching up to you. As much as you tried and would never admit, it did feel like a weird ache, deeper than just a headache. It made your eyes tired, remind yourself to focus back on the screen where they talked back and forth.

Heavy hands rubbed across your back as the silence from the ended calls took over. Teasing fingertips under the hem until they lay against your bare skin. Nothing more than him knowing why you hiding your eyes in the blanket, resting your head, but it was comforting at the same time. You could drift… fall right asleep with his hands sliding down your spine… rubbing lightly up your neck and smoothing back down. Enough for your focus to go fuzzy with the weight of the beating rhythm in your skull.

“I want you to come back to the states with me, just for awhile.” His voice rumbled in your ear when you try to calm your heart rate, dropping into a shallow almost-there haze of sleep.

“What?” You can’t leave.

“Just for a week, maybe a week and a half. Come spend time with me.” Why does he have to talk? Just rub your warm hands across my skin and let me sleep, please.  It would be too selfish of you. The kids can’t leave, neither can you. India has school, it was non-negotiable.

“You know we can’t do that…” confused as to why he’d ask such a thing.

“Princess, you can’t drive. You can’t look at your phone for more than 30 seconds without rubbing your eyes. You can’t walk down the hallway without leaning on the wall.” You were more than capable of taking care of yourself, if that was what he was getting after. “You can barely shower (y/n).”

“Yea I get it,” you mumbled, trying to sit up in place. You scrunch your nose at how dependent his statements made you feel. There were times you liked to be taken care of. Like when he shampoos your hair, or when he cooks, but you were not unable.

“I know you can take care of yourself that is not what I’m saying.” He noticed the shallow frustrated look that was bound to grow on your face. “But with all three by yourself? I don’t want you to push yourself. For you, and for- for our little bean.”

You looked down at your hands in your lap, laying over your crossed legs. He was watching you from his spot on the bed, laying on his back while he spoke, making sure to try and figure out what you were thinking. He does not desire to upset you, and you know it.

You didn’t say anything. And it would be lying to say you didn’t have a little thought about how you were going to handle it after your full house suddenly lost five adults and it was back to just you and the kids.

“Think about it. Relax for a week. Come visit the set, hangout. You can spend time with Miley, you just heard her. She’s been in the studio for the whole week, I bet you could tag along one day.” It did start to sound appetizing to your ears. To see him in his element, shining like the bright light he always was. A week, just the two of you. Free to do what you want. Fall to bed next to him for 7 more nights. 7 more nights where you can soak in the sound of his voice and the feel of his presence.

“I don’t know, what about India?”

“I called Elsa already, she can be here Wednesday, flight is the next morning. Plus, if you come, I have a major surprise. And I wouldn’t say no if I were you.” He wasn’t going to let you say no anyway, there was no way he could leave you with the kids regardless. It was more for humoring.  

“Two days! She’s going to be here in two days?” Why must he always feel the need to do surprises. You were a planner. Your planner, itself, was across the house on the office desk where you had left it the day everyone arrived and hadn’t looked at it since, hadn’t needed to. Before you could think anything else, your feet were on their way out the bedroom door to get to it.

You would need to give her the school schedule, the boys school plan that wasn’t even made. Oh dear god. Both boys have soccer practice on Thursday night. India has a small school play coming up, when was that again?

Your fingers found it and flipped through till you found this month, grazing it before turning to the detailed week. You are met with more of your scribbled handwriting for three dentist appointments on Monday and a little note off to the side reminding you should try to find some time to get a haircut, it’s not like you can cut it yourself like you do for the kids and Bri.

Ty leaves Wednesday morning, and then the room would need to be cleaned after they left and before she got here. How much time would-

“Would you stop a second? And look at me?” He turned you around at your arms with a look only you could not decipher.

“What? Do you know when she’ll be getting here?” You looked back down at the open planner folded in your hand and then reached back for a pen. You were going to have to write this down for her on the kitchen calendar. At least you thought you were before he slipped the pen out of your grasp and held it away as if you couldn’t just grab another.

“No, no just stop. The whole point of this is so you can relax. I don’t need you going 500 kilometers an hour trying to do things. Especially right now, you can’t injure yourself more.” You were calm, always were for the most part, why is he speaking as if you are not?

“I’ll handle it.” Now THAT made you laugh.

It bubbled past your lips. Chris looked confused at your sudden mood change, watching you try to keep it in. The laughter mixed in with a side of pain causing a weird wince in between.

“You’ll handle it?” You stopped laughing, biting your bottom lip to keep it at bay. He was going to clean the house? The loft? Make sure she had everything she needed? Pack his bag?

“Yes, I’ll handle it.” You were unconvinced, sceptical even.

“Okay,” you said, nodding your head. You gave him the planner and stepped away from him, away from the desk. “I’ll allow it, but I’m not doing anything.” You raised your brows while you watched him flip through a couple pages from the past in the planner. Filled with scribble sand mark through the scribbles that let you know you accomplished something.  

“Okay, good. Thank you,” he looked up and was greeted with a wicked grin.

“Uh huh. I’m not goin’ to do anything.” You did not look away, making sure he understood what he was asking, what you were implying. You started to take a few steps backwards out of the room. You were going to go back to bed and not worry about doing anything. Not going to worry about the clothes in the washer that will get stinky if they do not get switched over. Nope, no laundry. Or the trash from delivery for dinner all over the counters. The kids. Okay, maybe you are allowed to worry about the kids but he was not going to know that.

“The kids too. When I step out of this office, and I go to bed, they are no longer MY kids. You get what I’m sayin’?” You were squinting at him. He was good at making himself look calm. There was no way he could be calm inside at this moment, it was a lot of responsibility whether he remembered it being or not.

“Love, go to bed.”

“Okay,” the octave in your voice was way too high. But you just couldn’t help but be sceptical. “Don’t be afraid to tell me when you need my help. My pregnant, bruised, and concussed helpless self.” His shoulders dropped when he realized how you were interpreting his plea for you to just let yourself take a break. You smiled a taunting smile.

He shall ask and he shall receive.

With only two steps you turned around and walked back to the bedroom, leaving him in there. If he knows what is good for him, he will take a good walk around the house and see what needs to happen first, and for that you wished him a goodluck.

You tucked yourself in, curling the heavy blanket around your shoulders.

It was not maybe 10 minutes later that he came in, shutting the door behind him. Or so it felt like 10 minutes, very well could have been longer but you were never going to be able to sleep without the fan on. You looked at it across the room. So close yet so far, and you were too lazy to get up so you tried to wait until he came in.

He looked at you and saw you staring up at him, “The fan,” was all you had to say before he huffed a chuckle and walked towards it.

You didnt turn towards him when he pulled the blanket over himself. It was a treat to him, and automatic doing so on your part was when he was home, he always got your attention one hundred percent. You huffed at him when he pulled up right behind you and slipped his arm under your pillow. He thrust his leg between your own and slug his arm around, his hand resting atop your belly.

“You made me lose my comfy spot!”

“Well then, be ‘comfy’ with me.” You shifted lower and tried to find a good spot again.

No such luck.

You turned in his grasp and faced him. Pushing him on his back before lifting your leg over his thigh and settling in the crook of his arm. You rested your head gently, finally finding a spot, but you knew if he started moving his arm it would hurt.

“Now don’t move! … Please.” They silenced coated the air like a blanket and you began to quiet your mind. Until he started to speak again.

“When was the last time you had a hair cut?” Just a whisper.

“What?”

“Has it been a long time?” He asked again. He saw the little note to yourself on the paper that was also tainted with scribbles all pertaining to anyone but you. He about burned a hole through the paper with his eyes when he glared at it.

It may be a simple thing that people could forget, but it is something that cleans you up, gives a little pep in your step when you walk out of a salon and it had been so long since you’ve felt ‘new’.

You had been thinking about it for a while, but were never able to find a time. You didn’t want to take the boys with you, from experience of having past clients being their kids in, it can get tedious. You almost just tried to do it yourself, dusting off the box with your seemingly ancient shears in them that was resting in the upstairs closet, but you knew there wouldn’t be a time for getting it fixed if it was botched.

Chris felt mad when he saw it. Not at you. Not really at himself. But at the clock that agonizingly ticked time away and never allowed you an hour to treat yourself. His hair was cut every three weeks like clock work, he didn’t even think about it but here you were making a note to yourself to remember and try to get one.

“I don’t, I don’t know how long it’s been.” He closed his eyes blocking out the dim moonlight from outside. This hurt him, just a sliver. What else had you not been able to do?

It took everything in him to not start making a mental list of how many times he had failed you. No matter how hard he tried to make sure you are taken care of, the material and shelter didn’t compare to the time it took to ask if you were taking care of you.

“I’m sorry,” He held on to more than he should of over a haircut. But it symbolized more and he knew it.

“For what?”

“I just- we’ll get a haircut this week. I promise.”

You didn’t have the heart to question how much it may hurt your head. If it was going to happen you were going to let it. “Ok.”

~

It was your last full day with Ty being here and you took them down to the shops, going in and out through every one. You didn’t buy anything, nothing in these looked very appealing anymore. You figured once you had seen them once, they were all repetitive.

The afternoon felt like it was forever long. Chris stayed at home with Tristan while Sasha wanted to come along. He was not a bother, what was bothersome was the heat and the bright sun. Not even your sunglasses could keep your eyeballs from squinting in the bright light, and you refused to try and cool off by pulling your hair up because for one, it would hurt, and two, you were not feeling like baring the nasty bruises to the world.

You and Sasha sat down in the restaurant while the other four would be there soon. You needed the cool air and to get away from the sunlight. Maybe you should have taken it easy and not have done this. Through you refused to admit it to the others and hinder them while they had a good time.

You ordered waters for you and the mini before taking the glasses off and resting your head in your hands, noting to yourself to never get a concussion ever, ever again.

“Sash, baby, make my headache go away.” He looked at you with worried eyes but you were sly and caught his hand before he went petting your hair. The thought that counts, he came to know that was your favorite thing, not unlike his father. Although it hurt you to say, you asked him not to play with your hair for a while.

The lunch seemed to drag on forever. You closed your eyes and leaned against the wall of the booth. Two tacos sitting untouched on your plate, very unlike normal obviously. They took note, but didn’t say anything in fear of upsetting you.

You had it boxed and slumped the entire way back to the car. They still didn’t say anything because they know how it made you feel at this point, unable, and you weren’t so shy about telling Ty and Bri to back off, and that you can handle yourself.

Though by the time you made it back to the house you were ready to just agree with them if they were to say anything. Every bump or turn on the ride was dizzying and uncomfortable. Even though you woke this morning feeling great, being active throughout the day seemed to worsen the symptoms if you weren’t careful.

When you pulled into the driveway, you noticed the two small ATV’s were missing from their usual spot. You could hear them before you saw them, coming across the yard. You dismiss yourself from everyone and went inside. It was quiet and just what you needed for a moment before frustrated tears got the best of you. You almost made it the whole morning and afternoon. So much progress, but it grows in your mind as a step back when it catches up eventually, inevitably.

The couch was inviting you to lounge and you did, laying your head back with your hands crossed over your eyes. There wasn’t much you could do to stop the uncomfortable throbbing other than try to calm your heart rate down. Useless.

The back door opened and shut but you didnt move. The position your neck was in was a bad idea all around and you chose to deal with that later than sooner, if possible. The cushion dipped and a cold hand met your thigh, giving you a squeeze. He pressed a small kiss to your chin, working as a hello, careful not to target the fading blue-green marks.

“Why don’t you go lay down?” His voice was gentle but filled with hate from noticing you in pain. He knows you don’t want to hide away, especially on their last day but were you any better to be sitting in their company in this state?

Your voice came as a whisper, “I don’t wanna move.” A knowing thought came through to him when you were whispering your words instead of speaking them normally. This wasn’t a good day on your end. “Will you take me?” Your voice cracked against the silent wind coming out of your mouth.

You hated it when he tried to carry you, playful or not. His brows furrowed, nodding his head until he realized you couldn’t see him with your eyes covered. The back door opened and he moved into action so the boys would leave you alone. It was Chaz who told him that you were having a hard time already and he should go check on you. He looked back towards them nodded in acknowledgement before turning back to you.

He was careful sliding his arm under your shoulders until your arms came down and he saw the tears you were trying to keep in. You were just so sick of crying all the damn time. Whether it be from pain physically or emotionally, it was so unwelcome at this point. You were not weak, but it’s just been a weird month or two. Nothing is as normal as it was.

Ty watched him carry you out of the room and disappear into the hallway that led to the bedroom without looking back. It sparked a weird notion in him, seeing you being cared for. It was a stark difference from your usual, and he just wasn’t used to seeing you need to be cared after. Of course there were times that he felt the need to check on you, see how you were doing but that was only because he felt it was his duty as a brother to make sure you were good. You were independent in his eyes, but far too kind for your own good. ‘No,’ he was pretty sure didn’t exist in your vocabulary until recently, and he watched you do life alone for so long, watched you be successful at it, even. This was just something different. He appreciated it, but it was different. Like he didn’t need to worry about you as he once did.

“(Y/n).” Chris’s hands moved away and pulled the throw to lay across you.

“Hmm,” you opened your eyes and wiped away the water surrounding them.

“Sleep, it seems to help.” He is not wrong. “I’ll wake you for dinner if you are not up yet.” You nodded, surprisingly not one to be stubborn at the moment. When your eyes closed he had to withdraw his hand that was making its way to your head. A habit that was showing hard to break for the time being. He kissed you gently and left you to sleep, shutting the door quietly behind him after turning the fan on. Ready to attempt to mask the shallow ping he got when he saw you in pain. It was bound to show in his features that he longed to be comforting you, but you would not want him in there when there were visitors. He knew that much. He has other responsibilities, like the two rugrats that follow Chaz and Ty’s every move, and the other due to be picked up from school soon.

~

“I’m really glad you came Ty. I’m sorry this week didn’t go as planned.” You have had your arms wrapped around his waist for almost a minute now. He just kept one hand on your back after acknowledging that you were not going to let go.

“Would you stop apologizing,” you heard him tell you, “I had a good week, we all did.”

He rolled his eyes at you, shrugging a shoulder when Chaz laughed at him for being stuck. “Besides, I won’t be gone for long. I’m goin’ to have a little guy to meet.”

“How do you know it’s going to be a boy?” You finally pushed off of him, rolling your eyes.

“He wouldn’t do me dirty like that? Would you?” He looked down as if he was talking to the baby. “No girls allowed!” He whispered for everyone to hear.

“If India were here I think she would dead leg you right about now.” You giggled, looking back at Chris who agreed with you.

Ty stood straight, adjusting his backpack, “Yea, that little girl still kind of scares me.”

“She’s not scary!” Tristan screamed from the breakfast table. “I can take her!”

You all stifled a laugh at him, high fives from the boys was the validation the little one was looking for. Bri broke the happiness with, “Let’s go already!”

It was a sad goodbye, but you didn’t cry. You excused yourself to double check everything upstairs to make sure they didn’t forget anything. It was slightly a test to see if Chris would stop you and offer to go himself but you and he both know your eyes are better at finding things than his, and he needed to talk to Ty before they all left.  

Emily and Bri both followed you up there and Chris waved Ty over, away from the door while Chaz eavesdropped from the breakfast table with the boys.

“I was going to do it, while you were here.” Chris’s worried eyes felt bad for not being able to share the moment with the most important person in your life. He was supposed to catch you sometime when you were in your element, laughing at one of Chaz’s stupid jokes, enjoying your brother’s company, sharing time with your best friend. Moments where you weren’t aware of anyone else was watching you, those were the moments that he felt his heart tug the hardest, but it just was not right this week.

You were not very stable physically, and though he would not say anything, probably emotionally too - trying to balance and contain your hormones the were not the same as they were 13 weeks prior. It just wasn’t right.

“I would have punched you if you did it this week. Sorry man, but good call. I have eyes, you should wait.” Chris laughed at Ty’s comment, relief flushing around his shoulders and body to his feet now that he had gotten that off his chest. “I am the first to know, sound good?”

“I’m sure she will call you first without my suggestion anyway.” Ty pat his shoulder and started walking back towards Chaz when he could hear the footsteps pounding down the stairs. Before he knew it, you were almost on top of him again, walking with his feet to the garage door, following Bri who held the keys.

The goodbyes were thick with something other than sadness. Your time was as good as it could have been, given the circumstances but the best of it was made. You have new silly pictures and videos of Ty with you. Ty with Chris. Chris with both Ty and Chaz. Surfing videos… it was good.

~

“I just thought I would say that you look really sexy manning the laundry room.” He was still staying true to his word. You weren’t much help, but got up to appreciate the view of him folding clothes out of the dryer and switch the loads. “It does things to me…” you said walking away. He heard you, no escaping now.

“Oh yea, what kind of things?” His tease was recognized as you smiled at the ground, walking back to the bedroom to corral stray clothing items to pack.

You both were pushing almost five weeks since you had been intimate, and it was completely, one hundred percent on you. There was no way the pulsing heart rate would be bearable inside your skull if you were to get things going at the moment. Strenuous activities were not on your to do list today. That doesn’t mean you never thought about it, but it was dangerous territory, pain for pleasure, for you at least.

For you. For you.

Not for him.

A lightbulb would be displaying its brightness to the world if it could, showing off your brilliant plan that had come to light. There was at least a will to try and feed a slow burning want that was a embering light in your core. If you couldn’t let it explode into flames, surely his own would suffice.

You decided to trail back to the laundry room, mischief was flooding through your chest. Ready to surprise him, to take him, and to love him.

You walked through the threshold and wrapped your arms around his waist. You were not paying attention to what he was doing, he could have been here piddling around for all you know, but you can’t focus your attention on that.

“Hi there,” he said. Twisting in your arms to look at you but you didnt move.

“Hi,” you squeaked, muffled by his shirt. His arms stopped moving, he relaxed and patted your hands that were across his midsection, almost as he was coming to terms with your position, and then he continued separating and folding.

Much to your dismay, he continued seemingly without another thought to your leach like tendencies on his backside. Palms planted flat against his abdomen. He was so big, so broad, and so hard - comfy when it mattered. He paid no mind to you, or so you thought, and it was slightly frustrating. You were not one to just come out and shout, “I’m horny!” to the world, but you got the feeling he was going to wait until you did so.

Actions did better. They always have. Slowly, your fingertips made there way under his shirt. They may or may not have skimmed necessarily low before rising again to brush across his waistband, back to their home. Flush against his skin and your ear to his back you could feel a slight shudder in his breathing. If only he could see the devilish smile that you were sporting. A girl on a mission.

“Have you got something to tell me?”

“Hmm, maybe later. I’m pretty content right now.” Yea that did not go over. Although he thought your shyness was endearing, and he loved to fluster you, you were asking for it this time.

In a flash he twisted himself in your arms to face you. You yelped in surprise but kept your head down, forehead pressed to his chest. He had a sort of eagerness every time you showed signs of wanting him. It sparked his heart rate and made his brain a bit fuzzy, a feeling he craved when you were together.

His hand hovered over your head, before gently sitting on top of your shoulder, squeezing it.

The black shirt has ridden up over your arms from your hold on him, and his skin was so warm under your touch it made you just want to melt and have him cuddle you naked for the rest of the day, but it was merely 12pm.

Though he knows what has filled the air around you both in such a short time, he can’t bring himself to act on it. He could hold off if it meant he didn’t have to see you uncomfortably clutching your hair, trying to hold it in and together later. Trying to hold together your tears and the furrowed eyebrows, at a loss of how to make it stop, how to make it go away.

“(Y/n).” That was his one and only sound off warning. It was to gauge your mood and tell you of his. You groaned, he wasn’t going to touch you even if you wanted him too, but that was not what you wanted.

You lifted your head and looked at him furrowing your brows. “Kiss me,” you demanded.

He lowered his head and met you in the middle. His lips were soft and gentle, pressing a wussy kiss to your lips, keen to pull away when you started to lean into him. It made your face hot, you could feel it trail down your spine, flood over your shoulders, a spark of nerves. You wanted more, to feel him want to touch you. Want to kiss you.

Your fingertips pressed harder into his skin, but no matter how much you wanted to kiss him more, if he didn’t meet you in the middle it wasn’t happening, they were too far away.

“Kiss me,” you said again, fighting back the urge to huff like a child not getting her way. The contemplated look in his eyes were all you needed. Who was he to decide what you could and couldn’t handle? You pulled your hands away from him and tore your gaze away, walking out of the room.

He didn’t get to act like that. The pity in his eyes was not something you wanted to stick around and view. Maybe he wasn’t trying, but he sure knows how to eliminate any mood and replace it with inadequacy.  

You needed to finish packing anyway.

He wasn’t refusing you. He was afraid to hurt you. His eyes closed, rubbing his forehead though it wasn’t going to get the look on your face out of his head.

Who were you kidding you had nothing left to pack. You resisted the urge to ask if he needed help. You climbed the stairs to the kids rooms slowly, longing to shake away the dizziness once you reached the top. They had been quiet for way too long.

They were not in the playroom, but after roaming you found them both past out on Sasha’s floor with… chocolate covering their faces. Where they got it was beyond you. You scanned over the room, counting the wrappers on the ground and the half eaten bite of a fun size Snickers’ in Tristan’s hand. Is this what happens when you are not in charge of them?

It wasn’t easy, but you got Tristan up without waking him and laid him on his bed in the other room. He stirred, but fell limp again almost immediately. Sugar coma, definitely.

Sasha was pulling his blanket off the bed and over himself on the floor when you walked back in.

“Hey baby, crawl in bed.” He listened and climbed in, closing his eyes as if he was never fully awake in the first place. You had nothing else to do, no laundry, no cooking, no cleaning, no school stuff, so... what the hell. You lifted Sasha over and climbed in with him, pulling the bigger blanket off the end of the bed to cover you both. You fit your arm under his head and shoulders, automatically tucking his head under your chin. The small unconscious action made you smile, sure your heart just swelled about 10 times it size. He was so good at comforting you and he didn’t even know it. It was his unspoken superpower.

You didn’t sleep, not with your mind sticking around with disappointment. Merely closing your eyes and letting your thoughts trample each other internally while you lie still, still enough to fake the sleep.

How were you to spend a week with him? The close cuddles and gentle caress of his hands over your shoulders in the dead of the night were routine, they had to be in light of the rare evenings spent with him. The hand laid to rest on the swollen curve of you belly was just that, laid to rest. How were you to spend a week with him when all you wanted was to jump his bones but he was afraid to kiss you, even when asked directly. You couldn't even think about sharing a bed in an empty apartment, with his large warm hands splayed across your skin, his breathe hot on your neck, pressed close, close enough to bask in his warmth and not jump his bones. It was going to be impossible, slightly tortuous.

That was you trying to reach out to him, to tell him you were not a fragile has he seems to have built in his mind. You wanted it, you could handle him kissing you more than a peck in passing. If you weren’t able to, you would be the one to know and manage, not him.

Actions were always better to get across, it saved you from the red faced verbal admissions that you wanted him. A flutter of your eyes and a smirk to match your sinking hands had done the trick before!?

The wince from his hands on your chin in the days past was burned into his mind and it flash like a neon sign everytime he urged to brush across your hair or hold you in his hand while he kisses you. He was flooded with a sort of shock that sank in his chest at the fear of it happening again. Almost as bad as the rejected look you happened to sport only minutes ago.

He would make it up to you. In the right moment that is. The right moment would have to consist of your carefree smile and brightness in your eyes, unsuspecting as he bowed to one knee with a small velvet box warmed from his hands.  

He would tell you that he could never resist you, and it was true. He could never purposely induced a feeling of inadequacy upon your life, and love for him. It was from the beginning, impossible to resist your eyes that were always drawn to care for others, and never yourself. He takes note of all the small things you do for him that you do not have to, probably without even realizing it. The smile you have when you walk into a room he was occupying, seeing him. When you scoot over slightly so he can always sit next to you, or scoot closer after he has sat down. A random kiss to his chest as you lay under his arm at night or run soapy fingers across his shoulders in the shower in stark contentment. You don’t notice you do it, but he looks forward to it and when it happens he falls in love just a little more every time. The glazed look in your eyes, he studied it, enough for him to look forward to seeing the mental picture when he lays his eyes to rest at the end of the day.

He was lost in the trance you bring over him, he had no idea how to ask you to marry him. How could he? You deserved more than any lame, small or large set up he could come up with.

His arms were loaded with laundry, his and the boys. He stopped in his room first, depositing over half the weight, and dropping the others briefly to find the ring of inspiration. He pulled the box from his suitcase and admired it, the gleam it set off.

No time would ever feel right, good enough for what you deserved.

The ring was discarded into his pocket before picking up the clothes and continuing on his treck to deliver them to the right rooms. It only took till now to realize how quiet the house was. Answers were brought unto him with the sight of a sleeping Tristan, and a few more steps to view a sleeping Sasha with you curled into him.

This was one of the moments that he felt a sliver of longing add to a box of admiration for you. Lying still with his own, treating them as your own. So close, but so far from the circle of jewelry enclosed in his pocket, a mere four feet from where you lay.

The clothes were placed on his dresser, opting to not put them away and disturb you. His footsteps came to a halt in the doorway on the way out. An idea coming to mind. He turned and pulled the small box from his pocket and phone from the other. He held the ring outstretched in his hand and took a picture of it while you lay with Sasha in the background. At peace and unknowing.

He put it back and turned to walk out when he heard the bed move. He flipped around fast, heart almost stopped from being caught while you sat up in the bed slowly to not wake Sasha. You didn’t see it did you? Had he missed you opening your eyes?

He stood frozen while you balanced on the balls of your feet and walked towards the doorway with him in it, sporting a neutral expression. Your lips smudged a smile quickly, gone just as it came. Fingertips brushing down his arm as you passed him to leave while he stood trying to debunk if you saw him or not. Surely not.

[ofanxiousallergies]

I got tagged by @kindcrgartcncxup so yeet (og post by @xleafyheartx

Tagging: uhhhhh no one,,, do this if you want--

I’ll be writing my answers in bold

001. When is their birthday? - April 23rd!  002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday? - Cake and presents! Also a party 003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea? - He doesn’t particularly like either, but he likes coffee more 004. Do they prefer being alone or with others? - Alone if he can help it 005. Are they in good health? - Not really 006. What sense do they most rely on? - Vision! 007. Is your character an optimist or a pessimist? - Both, but more pessimist  008. What is their favorite fairy tale? - Beauty and the Beast 009. Do they believe in happy endings? - Not all the time, no 010. Do they believe in love at first sight? - Nope! He needs to get to know someone

011. How would your character court the person of their dreams? - Awkward “hey can we sit together at lunch and play at recess” while stammering 012. What makes your character embarrassed? - People mentioning his obsession with germs. He hates it 013. Have they ever been bullied or teased? - Oh, definitely 014. Detail one secret shame your character feels. - He wishes he didn’t have his obsessions 015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? - Tongue 016. What is their choice of weapon? - His own fists 017. When does your character think that violence is justified or deserved? - When his own life, or the life of someone he cares about, is in danger 018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do? - Freak out for a good hour or two 019. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? - Super strength! 020. What are their hobbies? - Collecting cool rocks he finds and he also wants to learn how to knit 021. How do they display affection? - Gently leaning on someone’s shoulder without saying anything. Just enjoying the moment. And lots of compliments 022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? - Any flower that isn’t green 023. What do they consider beautiful in others physically? - Smiles! He likes seeing others smile 024. What do they consider ugly in others physically? - Nothing 025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise? - A good heart 026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise? - Rudeness and ignorance 027. What is their idea of perfect happiness? - Being able to relax with friends and family 028. What makes them laugh out loud? - Hearing others laugh he’s also a sucker for stupid puns 029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have? - Somewhere in the middle of dark and normal humour. A grey humour. 030. Do they believe in the afterlife? - Yep! Doesn’t know what he expects from it though. 031. Are they superstitious about anything? - Walking under ladders and breaking mirrors? BIG NO NO 032. Does your character believe in ghosts? - Yeah, but he’s shit scared of them. 033. Do they keep their promises? - He tries!!! 034. What’s their view of lying? - Hey, if you’re doing it for protection, there’s no harm. If he’s lied to, he goes wild 035. What is the most important rule your character lives by? - An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind 036. How honorable is your character? - Eh, not very. 037. If your character saw someone drop a large sum of money and  knew that they could probably take it without anyone noticing, what would they do? - He’d hand it in automatically!! He doesn’t want any bad karma 038. What bad habits do they have? - Fidgeting, biting his lip and nails too 039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? - Murder or torture 040. What is their obsession? - Germs, order and Destructotron 041. Are they comfortable with technology? - Pretty comfortable. He sees/uses a lot of it at the doctors! 042. What is their greatest achievement? - Going almost a full day without needing his inhaler 043. What will they stand up for? - His mum’s company and his friends 044. What disgusts them? - Dirt and mess 045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions? - Asthma and OCD 046. How do they handle getting sick? - Freaks the fuck out, thinks he’s dying even if it’s just a cold. Can and will take a week off just for a cough 047. What was the last medical problem your character had? - ... asthma and OCD 048. Do they have any allergies? - Green flowers 049. How does your character feel about growing old? - He’s excited for it until he hits real old age 050. How does your character feel about their own mortality? - It scares him, but he tries not to think about it 051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today? - Spend as much time as possible showing his friends and family how much he cares, making amends 052. What is your character’s worst flaw? - He’s a stubborn little fuck sometimes 053. What is your character’s greatest strength? - He can stand up for himself when he needs to 054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind? - Nah, he’s not fussed about that stuff 055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert? - Introvert 056. Has your character ever struck someone in anger? - Yep! He slapped someone and he cried for two hours after even though they said it was okay 057. Has your character ever killed anyone? - No, but he has considered it... probably 058. What is your character’s idea of a perfect day? - No asthma attacks, no freaking out. Just spending a good day at kindergarten 059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up? - “These are so dirty.” and “Oh God, that wasn’t supposed to happen”. Managed to create both himself through daily life 060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning? - He loves it! He enjoys learning a lot 061. Does your character prefer adventure or safety and security? - Safety and security 062. What sort of legacy does your character wish to leave behind? - He doesn’t want one 063. How well does your character handle difficult people? - He tries to ignore his anger and talk to them calmly. “Hey, you’re being an ass. Mind stopping?” 064. In what ways does your character annoy others? - Repeatedly asking questions and asking them to not touch him/his things before using hand sanitiser. It pisses a lot of people off 065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer? - He prefers following, but isn’t opposed to leading sometimes 066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature? - City life! Nature is dirtier and full of allergens 067. Does your character believe in fate or destiny? - Yeah. Big believer of destiny is particluar 068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it? - He takes responsibility when he can see people doing things the way he wouldn’t do it, but his sense of it isn’t that great 069. What about your character is heroic? - He’d stick up for someone if he absolutely needed to (he’s helped Ted out with Felix a lot, even though Felix kinda scares him) 070. What about your character is cowardly? - If he has something he has to say, he’d get someone else to do it for him 071. How kind is your character? - He’s pretty 50/50. He’s hostile to people he sin’t familiar with, but he’s nicer when he gets to know them. 072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.) - Wizard (I know nothing about D&D) 073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.) - The witty sidekick with funny one-liners 074. What is your character’s favorite game? - He likes Hopscotch and anything he can play with Destructotron 075. Is your character ticklish? - Super!! He hates being tickled though. Like, if you did it enough, he’d hit you 076. How do they express anger? - Crying and screaming. Sometimes he just won’t even say anything. 077. How often do they cry? Over what? - He cries when he’s angry, when he’s worried he’s gotten germs or if his routine is messed up. Sometimes he cries for no reason. Keep an eye on him 078. How emotionally stable is your character? - Yeaaaaahhh not very. It’s easy to send him off the edge of stability 079. How easy is it for them to read the emotions of others? - He’s pretty good at it! At recess he keeps to himself and it’s his chance to observe everyone. 080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions?  - Easy enough. He expresses it a lot with his body 081. Is your character religious? - Nah 082. What are your character’s sleeping preferences? - Sleeps on his back or his right side (HAS to be his right) with both of his ears covered 083. What is the first thing they say and/or do when they wake up? - He takes his medication before doing anything 084. Describe your character in one word. - Awkward 085. Describe your character in three words. - Awkward, but trying 086. How would your character describe themself in one word? - Tired 087. How would your character describe themself in three words? - Lonely, still friendly 088. Is your character quiet or loud? - Mostly quiet 089. How vocally expressive is your character? - More than you’d think! He has no problem expressing what he thinks of something or someone 090. How bodily expressive is your character? - He uses his body as his main expression gateway 091. What type of music does your character like? - He likes stuff like Gorillaz (his mum plays it sometimes because he enjoys the tune) but also nursery rhymes 092. What emotion does your character evoke in others?  - Confusion 093. What is your character’s goal in life? - To be a little less... him 094. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know.-  What his conditions even mean, the best ways to take care of a plant, how to fix a toy

095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do - Write a good few sentences, stick up for himself, kill

096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project? - Chaotic energy, Moves quickly and with lots of small movements 097. How well do they adapt to change? - He fucking hates it. Will have a meltdown if its bad enough 098. Does your character like animals? - Yes for the aesthetic, no for the germs 099. Do they talk to inanimate objects? - All the damn time 100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about? - He dreams about his friends, and being happy

[danishprince]

redid this 92 questions meme from 4 years ago for Fun and Profit because i like seeing how much i’ve changed over the years. not tagging anyone, but if you want to answer the questions, go wild

what was your…

last beverage? woter

last phone call? a confidential call to a research lab at my university because they’re studying alcohol use in young adults and wanted to know if i fit the criteria to be in the study (i do, so i get money for it fuck yeah)

last text message? i told my dad that our neighbors got two of their trees cut down and his response was “Wwwow”

last song listened to? currently listening to “evening prayer aka justice” by ezra furman!

last time you cried? maybe like saturday or sunday? not really sure

have you ever…

dated someone twice? nah

been cheated on? don’t believe so

kissed someone and regretted it? eh i’ve had a few kisses that i look back and kinda cringe at because we were really drunk or i was Not Into Them or whatever, but actually, truly regret? no. 

lost someone special? it’s been awhile since anyone close to me died. my maternal grandma (and step-grandpa) are getting pretty old/less healthy though so i’m like starting to already feel weird snatches of anticipatory grief for that which :/

been depressed? i’d say so yeah, on occasion

been drunk and vomited? fun story i briefly thought i was allergic to alcohol freshman year because i’d throw up every time i drank. TURNS OUT however i just was a dumbass who didn’t know how to hold their liquor

list three favourite colors: hot pink, teal, black

in the last year, have you…

made a new friend? yes indeed

fallen out of love? cannot say that i have

laughed so hard there were tears? oh constantly. though i do that regularly because of the dumbest shit, so that’s not, like, an anomaly

met someone who changed you? YES the professor of my psych lab whom i ADORE

found out who your true friends are? yeah, or at least i feel way more comfortable and grounded in my friendships than i did. which is cool!

found out someone was talking about you? i overheard my coworker at our (drama-filled, my god) orientation leader job bitching about some other coworkers, but then what she said about me was “yeah katie’s pretty cool” so i was like :) :) neat

kissed anyone on your facebook “friend list”? hell yeah babey

general questions.

how many of your facebook friends do you know in person? the vast majority. there’s a few Spelling Bee Kids who’ve just added me for Spelling Bee Clout that i don’t know irl, but otherwise i don’t really add people i don’t know

how many siblings do you have? 1 (one) 16-year-old bröther

do you have any pets? 1 (one) very old round guinea pig named hamlet

do you want to change your name? eh not really. i’m not, like, obsessed with it, but it’s a decent name and i have no urge to change it

what did you do for your last birthday? i turned 21, but it was a monday, so i went to a restaurant with three of my friends and ordered 1 (one) Alcoholic Beverage. then later that week i went to a coffee bar that serves alcohol later at night with some of my other friends and had more Alcoholic Beverages there

when did you wake up today? 9:30ish

what were you doing at midnight last night? being asleep lmao

something you cannot wait for: going to arizona and later going back to kentucky for senior year of college (holy fuck)

when did you last see your mother? like 15 minutes ago, she’s doing laundry or something

what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? where 2 begin. uhh i wish i was more naturally outgoing instead of having to consciously turn on my Extrovert Persona in certain scenarios and end up getting super drained from it. i also wish i knew what the fuck i was doing with my life but i think that’s just, like, The Eternal Twenty-Something Mood (at least i hope it is dear god)

what are you listening to right now? the song “rodeo” by lil nas x, which PERSONALLY said gay rights

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yes multiple, and every tom(my) i have hated (sorry if you’re a tom and you’re a decent human bean)

what’s getting on your nerves right now? i have to do a bunch of important life and school stuff but i am procrastinating it! so i guess...my brain

most visited webpages: twitter, tumblr, discord, instagram, the dear prudence advice column on slate dot com lmfao

blood type: o+ i believe, but i am too smol to donate blood so i do not know for sure :(

nicknames: some of my friends refer to me over text as k8e and i love it tbh. also katie itself is a nickname

relationship status: single but like, kind of a thot

zodiac sign: virgo sun cancer moon cancer rising 

pronoun: they/them but she/her is also fine

primary school: private lutheran school

middle school: the same private lutheran school

high school: public school

college: university of kentucky for undergrad and also a concurrent grad program (long story). maybe more grad school???? somewhere else??? or not???? I Don’t Know

hair colour: honey blonde

long or short: hair? just got it cut short in january and it was the best decision i ever made

height: 5’6"

do you have a crush on someone? define “crush”

what do you like about yourself? i’m a good listener and writer and also sometimes my Funney Joaks land

do you have any tattoos? nah. i am afear’d i’d regret it

are you right- or left-handed? right-handed

first surgery: some ear procedure thing in kindergarten. if that doesn’t count i got half my wisdom teeth out the summer before college and the other half the summer after freshman year (but was technically awake for both) 

first piercing: ear piercings when i turned sixteen

first best friend: uhhhhh my friend stephanie from home-preschool? or this girl named grace who was my kindergarten best friend but then moved away

first sport you joined: i believe dance classes when i was but a little peanut

first vacation: idk? we went to san diego when i was two i think? don’t remember it though

first pair of trainers/sneakers: good question. had some boss-ass light-up shoes once 

right now i am…

eating: popped corn

drinking: woter 

about to: hopefully write this [bernie sanders voice] damn email, but who is to say : - )

listening to: my liked songs on spotify (currently “i think i’m going to kill myself” by elton john)

interested in having children? if that’s how the proverbial cookie proverbially crumbles, yeah. that idea seems really far away even though i know high school classmates with kids.

interested in getting married? yes, but if and only if i meet the right person

ready for a career or have one? [sobbing]

which is better…?

lips or eyes? eyes generally, but lips are also Good

hugs or kisses? k i s s e s. i lov to kiss. love hugs too though if it’s with friends

shorter or taller? actually being a similar height to me is optimal! 

older or younger? mmm i tend to subconsciously lean older, but younger is fine too

romantic or spontaneous? the wording seems to imply that “romantic” and “spontaneous” are opposites which just isn’t true. both?? 

nice stomach or nice arms? arms i guess?

sensitive or loud? my first impulse was “loud” but like....loud in that i tend to gravitate to people who are more extroverted than me, but not in terms of being overtly annoying or demanding.

hook-up or relationship? :^) judging by my History(tm) it’d be committed hook-up, lol. but like either is good. am not about sex with a stranger though.

troublemaker or hesitant? troublemaker ~vibes~ but not actually, like, a danger in any way. being hesitant can be cute, but i myself am often pretty hesitant so it can become an Awkwardness Standoff more often than not

have you ever…

kissed a stranger? no, but came damn close in greece

drunk hard liquor? oh yeah lmao

lost glasses or contacts? i’m sure i’ve lost a pair of contacts somewhere in there

had sex on the first date? depends on your definition of “sex”, and also on your definition of “date” really, but also Yeah

broken someone’s heart? i hope not, but i think maybe :/

had your own heart broken? ....ish?

been arrested? nope

turned someone down? yyyyyyep

cried when someone died? not in my memory? though i might have

fallen for a friend? :^) haha oh yeah

do you believe in…

yourself? i try oh my god do i try

miracles? i think

love at first sight? nah. i think intrigue at first sight is a thing, or lust at first sight, or even just a bizarre extraterrestrial sense of Knowing, but real genuine love? nahhhh son you gotta know someone deeply for that. mortifying ordeal of being known and all that

heaven? mm yeah i’d say so

santa claus? no, and i haven’t for a hot minute there

kissing on the first date? lol yeah kiss away

angels? fuck yeah sometimes they’re circle things with 56879879677 eyes and they’re cool af

well in review i have indeed changed quite a bit from myself four years ago! in summary i am more of a thot and also drink alcohol. idk. my answers then ~seemed~ more sure of myself in terms of, like, this façade of being chill all the time, but less sure re: how i related to other people. all my angst on those questions was about school instead of general personhood. 4 years ago i also definitely /remember/ being insecure (at the time) about the fact that i’d never kissed anyone/etc., but my answers themselves don’t look that way. (sidenote being insecure about that kind of thing really isn’t worth it, everyone does life at their own pace.) whereas now i feel more open actively discussing my insecurities (see above re: future plans/etc.) instead of just boxing them down and pretending they don’t exist. as a high schooler i thought i was bad at being a person, and i feel like i’m a lot better at being authentic with myself (and ergo, being a person) now. though of course there is no right way to be a person which is something i still frequently have to remind myself.

ANYWAY yeah that was a fun waste of an hour feel free to use these questions for yrself

[aloice-talks-about-games]

The Hoperai Salt Masterpost, OR: Hope deserved better in Lightning Returns.txt

I’m not going to put this under the Hoperai tag because yes, it is ship salt... I am aware that Hope has his own flaws and problems as well in LR (that warrants a whole other masterpost by itself) so the salt doesn’t just go to Lightning, but I’m going to focus on Lightning in this post. 

Thesis: Hoperai is a great ship that can, under certain circumstances, work out (and work out beautifully!) in the post-LR new world, but it has a lot of issues within Lightning Returns and I highly, highly doubt that Lightning reciprocated Hope’s feelings within LR, or even treated him well as a friend, partner or surrogate family member.

I’m going to address this in three and a half parts, with the parts discussing  Lightning’s knowledge, Lightning’s heart/compassion, Lightning’s plans and possible dev intentions respectively.

Part One. Lightning’s Knowledge

Argument: Lightning doesn’t show a lot of care RE: Hope’s well-being in Lightning Returns because she couldn’t tell he was in a lot of trouble.

Answer: uhhhhh, about that.

In the beginning of LR, Hope shows confusion about who he is or why he’s at the Ark, saying:

Of course Lightning is also a little dazed at this point since she also just woke up, but at least she knows her terms with Bhunivelze, while Hope doesn’t seem to be aware of his. She doesn’t think or comment much about Hope’s confusion (or his suddenly-child-again-form, or why he, as the most human-oriented of the entire XIII cast who was the only cast member in XIII-2 to not be granted time travel by Etro, is suddenly serving God) and simply goes on as if it’s normal. Perhaps this is because she doesn’t yet have reason to think that Bhunivelze means ill towards the two of them (she did serve Etro willingly, after all) - so let’s give her the benefit of the doubt for this one.

She does learn about what actually happened to the adult Hope she knew from Vanille (mysteriously disappeared from the world 169 years ago before ending up in his current situation with no memories of anything), but makes no comments about it.

She also has this conversation with Snow regarding how odd it is that Hope is barred from leaving the Ark to do things such as talking to Snow (which, from the tone of this conversation, both Snow and Hope would enjoy), but doesn’t comment on it.

She also makes no comments about this.

She acknowledges and feels hurt that he has forgotten, but doesn’t think about why that may have happened.

Here she learns that even Hope’s colleagues have no idea what happened despite wanting him back, but no comments either.

She also doesn’t say anything when he blatantly talks about dying.

She also doesn’t seem to catch on the meaning of this (”It’s really nearing the end now. Soon it will be over.”) being Hope’s existence will also be over.

Sure, we can argue that Lightning is just not the most astute of people and these hints all flew over her head. But then there’s the nail on the coffin:

If she didn’t know before, Lumina’s forced her to know now - that Hope is wrong somehow and that to achieve her goals might mean turning on him and killing him. Which, of course, is fine if Hope is a fake - but where is the real Hope then, the one she knew she cared for and could trust, and shouldn’t she care about saving him, since she puts so much effort into saving everyone else and tries to save even Caius?

Or, alternatively, if she believes the real Hope is dead/gone, shouldn’t she show some sign of grief or disappointment over it?

This is the first and only time in LR Lightning explicitly discusses the problems with Hope before Hope’s final farewell; she does not talk about (her thoughts on) him to anyone otherwise.

Part II. Lightning’s Heart/Compassion

That brings us to our second point.

Argument: Lightning’s a fine companion to Hope during LR. If she was cold to him, it’s because her heart (Lumina) was missing, so you can’t fault her for that, and she’s cold towards everyone, really, it’s just a part of her character.

Answer: uhhhhh, about that.

Let’s put aside her lack of reaction towards all the alarming stuff covered in Part I for now (especially the part where her heart, Lumina, seems particularly sardonic in tone while grilling her about the possibility of killing Hope). Let’s just look at the moments when Lightning showed she was perfectly capable of compassion in LR, even to street NPCs.

To the boy playing Serah’s theme (I think) in Yusnaan, she makes a remark that shows caring for Snow:

She shows empathy regarding the ghosts of the murdered women in Luxerion, wishing to save them despite knowing she had no powers over the dead:

She is quite unhappy about that one fireworks guy’s story in Yusnaan:

We know how emotional she got in person with Snow:

She understands Luka’s pain about crying solely for others:

She helps the girl who claims that she used to be a chocobo despite agreeing that it’s logically absurd:

She quite obviously cares for Sazh and Dajh:

And so on and so forth (too many screenshots.)

In short, Lightning’s perfectly capable of caring and worrying for others, especially her friends and allies. She even muses about love and dependence, but those thoughts are purely introspective, making no mentions of Hope even though he could fit right into them:

She explicitly wonders if she’s unable to love. She likely comes around to the idea by the end - I’m in no way against Hoperai post LR, I’ve written fics on it - but here, she isn’t there yet, and her thoughts don’t even drift to Hope when she thinks about her feelings (even though mutual dependence is like, basically the nature of her relationship with Hope in LR).

Now, her lack of action or commentary regarding Hope’s impending problems with Bhunivelze notwithstanding, (and Hope deliberately trying to mislead her into not trusting him notwithstanding - that still doesn’t explain why she wasn’t more upset and proactive with either him or the “real” Hope, though,) she also snaps at Hope a whole lot. Of course Hope goes overboard with protectiveness and I’ve also heard that some of it is due to the translation from Japanese to English, but just look at this.

She isn’t very subtle when she lies to him about trusting him, even though she was trying to keep her agenda secret:

She basically blows up on him when he circumvents a lot in his explanation of where Serah might have gone, and doesn’t say anything even after in response he makes the extremely morbid promise to look for Serah and reunite the sisters after his own death:

And, of course, even though Hope sounds absolutely dejected with this line, no investigations or words of comfort either:

Part III. Lightning’s Plan

Argument: Lightning did all of that above because it didn’t matter, she had a plan and she saved him in the end.

Answer: I don’t like thinking of “murder” as a plan.

Lightning makes a vague mention of a “last resort” when talking to Lumina. The problem... this occurs right before the conversation regarding killing Hope, which then means

1) Her “last resort” involves willingly killing Hope (which really does not show her care for his well-being) OR

2) She knows Hope’s going to end up needing to be saved somehow (in which case she’s... basically waiting for the end to happen, and risking the success of saving him in the process) OR

3) This is strictly talking about her ability to fight Bhunivelze and has nothing to do with Hope (which also doesn’t help our case RE: caring about Hope).

I’m inclined to think she didn’t really have much of a plan, going by how shocked she seemed to be at their final conversation:

She straight up admits that she’s not been the greatest with him even just as a friend and partner.

... And even when she goes to fight Bhuni it seems to be more about Serah and the world than about Hope.

And this is not even going into how Lightning feels about Bhuni’s more lewd words to her in JPN, which she definitely knows to have come from Hope because she tells Bhuni that his downfall is due to having a human’s heart within him...

Part III.1/2 Possible Dev Intentions

Now, perhaps a lot of these happened the way they did because the devs 1) didn’t want Hoperai to become “too” canon (due to pedophilia reasons and to keep Lightning open for fandom to ship her with others) or 2) wanted to keep Hope’s problems mostly a surprise until the end. However, I’d argue that you can easily still do 1) while showing Lightning to care about him even just as a friend (asking him if he has any theories of his own on why he ended up the way he did at the beginning, for example; Hope doesn’t even have to answer correctly, but just showing her asking shows that she cares). As for 2)... I’m really upset with the Lumina scene LOL if they’re going to be so explicit about Lightning having to (at least try to) kill Hope, then why don’t they give us a single throwaway line where either Lightning OR Lumina considers some kind of alternative? They really don’t talk about saving him at all before they actually do save him, while everyone else (Sazh, Snow, Vanille, Noel) etc all have a lead up section where Lightning contemplates how she used to know them and how they may have been affected by everything that’s happened. As LR was made by the devs, we skipped any potential thoughts Lightning could have had regarding Hope’s adult life, his feelings of abandonment, and extremely difficult leadership for hundreds of years. It would have been so interesting to read. But we didn’t get any of that - and nothing explicitly romantic from Lightning, either. So anything between them has to fill in those gaps on their own - and they have to do it in the new world, after that train arrives, and after they see each other again. Within LR Lightning and Hope are not romantically linked, but that should not stop anyone from exploring their romantic future together in the new world they both fought so hard to create, especially when it’s filled with so much potential for soul-searching, for honesty, for understanding, and for happiness.

[henry-hart]

question time

I’m making my own post too bc I know it’s gonna get long. lolol

First off, thank you Lou for tagging me. :))))) You tagged most of my friends in your post, so I just have a few people to tag lol @sleepylilsnowflake @sunbeameyes (take your time Nikki <3) @shonashee @writing-excuses ***you all aren’t required to do this. just, if you want to :)))

I. Nickname?

(Fun fact: Em is my actual first name--like, it’s not a nickname or short for Emily or Emma. Just Em) my nicknames are all longer than my actual name, and I have a lot, but the ones my fam uses the most are Emmers, Ems, and Emmy.

II. Gender?

Female

III. Star sign?

Pisces

IV. Height?

I think I’m like 5′3″??? I’m not sure. It’s been awhile since I’ve been to the doctor or measured myself alkjslkjslk

V. Favorite feature?

Uhhhhh myyyyy.....ears? I guess??? Is that lame??? lolol They’re just small and I pierced them so many times, so my earrings look cool. I don’t know. I don’t really find any of my features good ashkjskajk

VI. Favorite color?

Yellow! It makes me happy!

VII. Favorite animal?

I have the hardest time answering this hhhhhh I love all animals, but I guess....it’s gonna have to beeeeeee......tigers? I love that they like to swim despite being in the feline fam, and they’re so beautiful. Sorry to all the other animals. I love you all equally.

VIII. Average hours spent sleeping?

lol wut is sleep???? Just kidding kind of. Well, it depends on the kind of day I’m having. I mean, I just woke up an hour ago, and it’s three in the afternoon ajskjsklj. So, sometimes it’s a classic 10+ hour depression nap, or it’s the “I can run on three hours of sleep no problem.” Hardly ever do I sleep a healthy 8 hours. :(

IX. Dogs or cats?

ugh another “choose an animal” question. I can’t. I love dogs and cats, and I have both.

X. Number of blankets you sleep with?

In the summer, just one so I don’t die of heat exhaustion, but in the winter, I use two.

XI. What’s your dream trip?

Honestly, I’d love to plan a trip to hit every continent (apart from Antarctica bc no) and just see all the major countries and cities and just experience all the cultures of the world. Places I’d look most forward to on that trip would be Australia, Spain, annnddd the Scandinavian countries as well as Iceland (unless that’s considered Scandinavian???) :)

XIV. How many followers do you have?

On this blog, I think I have 80? I’m not sure. I’m surprised I even have that many a;kljskljs Thank you all!

XV. How many pets do you have?

A cat, a dog, two fish, and a turtle--so five. 

XVI. Best places to visit in your town or country?

My town is sh*t, so there’s nothing “best” about it. As far as my country goes, I mean, where do you start? I’ve never been to most of these places, but probs the ever classic New York, Cali, Florida (I have been to FL, but not deep in the panhandle). I mean, they’re not really “talked about,” but I’d love to see Oregon and Washington.

XVII. Favorite ice cream flavor?

I’m in the 2% of people who actually like strawberry alkjslksj

XIX. Favorite study locations?

When I was in college, my dorm was on a little campus lake, so I’d take my studies out there bc it was really calming. I didn’t usually study in the library bc I couldn’t take the heavy feeling of desperation and stress and anxiety coming from everyone else in there.

XX. Favorite book series?

Uuuuuuuhhhhhhh this is a really hard question bc I’m ALWAYS reading. Hmmmmm maybe HP bc it’s one of the first series I completed??? 

(I don’t know if I was supposed to answer those questions, but here’s the second set lolol)

1. Favorite band/music group?

I am not good at making decisions like this. Maybe The Doors? Gotta love that classic psychedelic rock. RIP Jim Morrison. 

2. Favorite subject in school? 

I always loved English (duh lol) and science--esp biology.

3. Fruits or veggies?

Both! I don’t eat meat lolol 

4. What’s an inside joke you have?

God, I wish I was cool enough to have all these cool insiders with friends, but I just don’t. My lil bro and I have a lot tho. Like, we’ll watch funny videos or play the same video game or watch the same tv show, so we can crack jokes about that stuff that makes everyone else go “???” Also, he and I are big on vines, so we make about 50 incredibly well-placed vine references every day. lolol (he’s my little buddy--I say little, but he’s 16 alkjljslksj)

5. Ever been to Disney?

No. >:( I’ve never been able to afford it, but ONE day.

6. Do you like rollercoasters? 

I’ve only ever been on minor ones, but I enjoyed those, so maybe I’d like the major ones? 

7. Favorite movie?

One of the first movies I remember watching was Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and that’s a classic. It’s def one of my faves. I also watched The Labyrinth a lot as a kid. I JUST REMEMBERED CORALINE IS A THING, AND I LOVE THAT MOVIE. SO CORALINE IS MY FAVE.

8. What’s your dream job?

Something that categorizes as philanthropic. I just want to be able to help and talk to people all over the world. :)))) (also, if any of my young followers are stressed about not having it figured out, I’m 22 and have no idea what I’m doing. It’s okay.)

9. What’s something you wish you were good at?

Art or dancing. Ah, to have been one of those art students in college. 

10. What do you listen to during long car rides?

I make me some rad af car ride playlists skljakljskl I have ones for summer car rides, ones for night car rides, ones for driving in the rain--I’ve got it all. lolol

11. Favorite warm drink?

I don’t usually drink warm drinks, but I occasionally have tea. 

Now for Lou’s questions ;)

1) Favorite video game?

I play a LOT of video games, but one of the first I ever played was Super Mario on the Nintendo 64, so probs that. I also like Halo and Skyrim a lot. 

2) What is one album you’d recommend? 

The 1975 - The 1975 (it’s a self-titled album)

3) What type of weather do you like most?

I’d like to say warm, sunny weather bc I like it in theory--the feeling of the sun on your skin, light hair, dark skin, being outside, etc.--but it’s just not realistic. The rain is more likely bc I get inspired to write and I have an excuse to stay inside akjslksj

4) What mood are you currently in?

A very “blah” mood. There’s so much I want to get done, but I have NO motivation.

5) Favorite comfort food?

This is gonna be really lame, but it’s cereal. When I was in college, I could only afford cereal, and after going sometimes days without eating, to have that bowl of cereal was just a godsend. :)

6) What is one of your main hobbies? 

READING! I have a literal wall of books in my room. I’ve been avidly reading since I was about eight years old. 

7) Your opinion on the pineapple on pizza discourse?

Don’t like it. At all. That tangy fruit taste mixed with cheese and red sauce? No. 

8) Someone you really look up to.

My mommy. <3333 She’s an incredible woman, and she just embodies everything that feels motherly. Most of my friends call her mom bc that’s what she is, through and through. I aspire to be like her in life because she’s just so full of love and comfort and warmth. I love her so much. (I’m crying now thinking about her alkjlksjslk)

9) A joke that makes you laugh.

It’s silly, but my little sister read it off a Laffy Taffy, and I lost it. “What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop music.” aklsjlskj same

10) How was/is your day?

Eh. I haven’t been awake for most of it, so I don’t really know alkjlksjs;l

Here are my questions!!! And, for the people I tagged, feel free to answer whichever set of questions you’d like! You can answer all, some, none--whatever you’d like!

1- What’s your comfort TV show/movie?

2- Favorite word and least favorite word?

3- Something (or someone) that makes you happy. :))

4- Biggest fear? (it can be a silly fear if you’d like)

5- What was the last thing that made you really laugh. What made you really cry?

6- Do you prefer the country or the city?

7- Which HP house are you in?

8- One word you’d say describes you best. 

9- Cringiest thing you’ve ever done.

10- How long have you known your oldest friend? (by oldest I mean years you’ve known them not how old they are akdljlkjs)

Enjoy!

[franeridart]

Happy 1000th post to one off my absolute favorite artists on Tumblr!

This is it!!! The 1k post on this blog!!! It’s me finally getting my ass into gear and answering the asks in my inbox!!! As good charm in hope of not waiting so long from now on hahaha thank you so so much, by the way!!!! :D

Anon said:LITERALLY YOUR TODOROKI IS THE BEST THING IN THIS CRUEL WORLD I LIVE THE WAY U DRAW HIM IM EMOTIONAL HHECK ALSO ALL THE REST OF UR ART IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD ITS SO NICE UR CHARACTERS ARE LIKE VERY LONG NOODLES THEYRE GOOD™

THANK YOU FOR EVERY KIND WORD AND ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE TODOROKI ONES HOLY SMOKES!!! I don’t draw him much sadly but he’s super fun and comfortable to draw for me, it’s nice to know he also comes out well!!!

Anon said:So like,,, I really miss your bokuroo ;^; Will you ever post with them again???

I haven’t taken a vow that forces me to never draw them again, so, possibly! At the moment posting for the haikyuu fandom is giving me more sad feelings than anything else though, so I can’t promise that’s gonna be any time soon, I’m sorry 

Anon said:bruhh i listened to that chiodos song under ur halo, and that one by memphis may fire that was w that bakugo art that was called not enough and uhhhhh ur music taste is dope care to share some more songs?

SURE I’m glad you liked those! Everything by Memphis is A+ and I love it so if you haven’t you should check out more stuff by them ( No Ordinary Love is super nice, That’s Just Life is very dear to me and so is Divinity, Speechless is… my otp song for every otp ever tbh) -  Bring Me The Horizon is my fav post-hardcore band and both MMF and Chiodos are that genre so if you don’t know them give them a try! (Blasphemy, Run and Doomed are between my faves out of the latest album, and since you liked Under Your Halo you’re probably gonna like Follow You too) the album right before is amazing too if you’re okay with less melodic stuff, but the further back you go with BMtH the harder to listen to they get, just a heads up - Sleeping With Sirens are on the softer side of post-hardcore lately, Fly, Left Alone, Trouble, Fire and Empire To Ashes are some great ones, between the many, and, uhhhh, at this point I might have recced Nothing More a hundred times but let’s make it a hundred and one, try Funny Little Creatures, Do You Really Want It and Go To War out of the newest album! If you’re into punk and female voices you should check out Tonight Alive too, Jenna has one of my two fav female voices in rock right now (Crack My Heart and Temple are the latest two songs out!) and since I always rec stuff but I never rec anything by my favorite band ever, you ever heard of Alter Bridge? They’re more towards hard-rock/alternative metal, but check out Blackbird, Fortress, I Know It Hurts, Cradle To The Grave and Broken Wings just to make it one for every album I really, really adore this band and everything they ever made

Anon said:I adore all of your art, especially your bnha art!!! I had so many of your drawings saved to my drafts before I read the manga and was really looking forward to catching up so I could look at them all!! They’re all fantastic

AHHH THANK YOU!!! This made me smile lots, I’m so glad you like them!!!

Anon said:What’s coming up? Fluffy, dorky or angsty? (I’m talking about your next work XD just to be sure) Have a great day my friend!

LMAO this was about this one right? I’m sort of a fool honestly cause as I drew it it… didn’t feel actually all that angsty to me? I mean, obviously it doesn’t come after anything happy, but they’re working things out! Making an effort! Loving each other enough to try and understand each other better!! I drew it as something positive but in hindsight I should have expected the reactions lmao so I honestly dunno, I feel like telling you it’s most probably gonna be something happy but as it seems I angst without even realizing, lately #rip

@not-enough-kaneki​ said:Pass the happy! 💛 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications! 😊

!!!!! my cats!!!! tea and coffee!!! Bakugou and Kirishima and Bakugou-and-Kirishima and the squad!!!! not having an headache!!!!!! the sound of ocean waves and the sun on winter days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! new music I like!!!!!! nice asks and lovely tags under my art!!!! that’s more than five things but a lot of stuff makes me happy tbh !!!

Anon said:one of my favorite parts (i love every bit of it) of the holiday pic you drew of the squad, is they each have their own personal mug. 10/10

I didn’t think you’d be able to notice Mina’s!!! I’m glad it was visible, I thought I had made it disappear into the background hahaha thank you!!!

Anon said:i just went through your entire kiribaku tag and, honestly, gay (also ur art is soooo good and pure and thank u so much for all the content u make for bnha 💖💖)

It is very gay, isn’t it? The other day I was going through my old stuff and I think I might have slowly turned them mushier oh my hahaha I’m glad you like my stuff, by the way!! Thank you so so so so much!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Thank you for sharing the beautiful Bakusquad Christmas! It’s very colorful and warm & it gives me such a comforting feeling! I love looking at all the details! Kami & Sero’s ribbons, everyone’s mugs, the decorations, all so cute! Especially Mina’s bulletin board with the photos, charms of the boys, & the little alien dude (?) Each time I look at it, I see other cute details!! Sorry to bother you, but thanks again for sharing your art with us! I hope you had a very Merry Christmas!!!!!

It’s not a bother at all!!! Thank you so so much for looking at it long enough to notice all those details!!!!

Anon said:You are so good at giving advice omg

I wouldn’t say I’m especially good at it, I just say what was useful to me lol but thank you! It’s a nice thing to be told

Anon said:Dude, your bakusquad drawings are awesome! Keep up the great work!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! I’m super glad you like them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:The new chapter made me think about Bakugou dealing with his squad as babies all over again. Toddlers would probably be worse.

Depends?? Actually??? Like, at least toddlers aren’t gonna steal his gauntlets and tell him he’s lame and punch him just for the hell of it and be a bunch of smartasses and assholes like. Compared to this bunch of baby-Bakugous he has to deal with in the new arc maybe the squad as toddlers would actually be refreshing lol

Anon said:Um I have a very real crush on ila? Can we please know more about her??

I’m ??? so happy you like her!!!!! I don’t wanna say too much about her cause until I draw her in comics I won’t be too sure about who she really is, but she’s!! a pianist, very tall and sorta insecure about her physical appearance, very soft spoken, incredibly gay, scared of sensory deprivation of any kind. Her full name is Ilaria! Dav calls her Aria, which means air in Italian~ they’re pretty good friends, I have a comic about that I’ve been meaning to draw…

Anon said:So, you like KiriBaku with songs, so what do you think of You Had Me At Hello by A Day to Remember? Particularly the lines, “What have I gotten into this time around, I know that I had sworn I’d never trust anyone again, but I didn’t have to. You had me at hello. I’ve never seen a smile that can light a room like yours, it’s simply radiant, I feel more with every day that goes by.”

s o f t…………. ;; also incredibly fitting considering Bakugou decided Kirishima was his new favorite hero the second time he spoke to him, like, god bless I love those two s o m u ch this one I’m listening to it right now and having feelings (is it Baku to Kiri? Kiri to Baku? why not both for double the feels)

Anon said:Hey Fran!! Have you been keeping up with haikyuu? If so what do you think about the Miya twins? (Personally I think they’re pretty okay, they’re funny when they interact with each other. My favorite of the two is Osamu haha)

I don’t mind them! My fav out of Inari is Kita tho, have to admit - that said I have… sort of been ready for this game to be over for months, now………………

Anon said:Okay but imagine….. Kirishima with freckles

I’ve drawn that, now and again!!! the latest one was this one, and another one I remember is this one :D I’ve been liking the idea of him with freckles even more since it’s become official his hair isn’t naturally red? So now and again I add them in, even though they’re usually not much noticeable haha I do so with Bakugou too from time to time, actually… and the rest of the squad… I just… love freckles a lot… haha

Anon said:Love the squad, love the squad kisses.

HECK YES the goal is to draw at least one smooch for every couple sooner or later !!!

Anon said:I hadn’t even realize that I stuck around for a whole year OwO, anyways, congratulations! Your art style has improved much more than you think, especially since you’ve gotten more into coloring ^o^ I noticed that you’ve also been doing more complicated poses too, so, it’s the little stuff that counts ♥️👍 Hope to see more spontaneous art next year, love you Fran!

THANK YOU SO MUCH I love you lots too??? honestly??? This ask means the whole world to me, I really can’t see much improvement after all but knowing you can DOES help a whole damn lot

Anon said:So I came across this fanfic where Uraraka and Todoroki were a thing. I’m personally not a fan of this rare pair, but the whole scenario was the cutest thing ever. Todoroki basically asks Uraraka to help him confess to Midoriya, but in the process falls in love with her instead.

Awwww that sounds cute! Can’t say I have any particular feelings about the ship, but I am up for Todoroki with nearly anyone so why not!

Anon said:Bro bro bro I’m sorry if this is the wrong channel to go through or something but holy shit I just spent hours going through your entire tumblr and your. Art. And. Concepts. I… can’t??? DUDE YOU’RE AMAZING AND YOUR TATTOO AU!! I?? Just thank you so much for all the awesome work you do honestly made my entire fuckin week with your blog, you are WICKED GOOD AND FUNNY AF. That’s all I got go on with your day you talented ass fiend

I’M CRYING!!! OH MY GOD THANK YOU!!!!!!! I’m gonna pick this ask and frame it right on top of my desk!! The heck!!!!!!

Anon said:Why is Bakugou such a fuckin meme

The real question is why is everyone in class 1A a meme. How do they even keep up. How much of the shit they say on a day to day basis is actually just catchphrases from other 1A kids repeated over and over again. How much of the deadpan ridiculous shit Todoroki says has become an inside-joke. How many 1A kids move and talk like Iida just for the hell of it. How often do they yell DIE at inanimate stuff when it pisses them off. How much stuff is defined as manly even though it has nothing to do with manliness. Do they say “going wheey” instead of “frying one’s brain”. Can anyone outside of 1A even understand them when they speak at this point.

Anon said:You are amazing human bean and I love you 💖 Keep being great ✨👏

Thank you??? ;O; I’ll do my best!!!

Anon said:Just annonly passing by to tell you I F'ing love your take on Ashido And the Kids XD … Way to much fluff And laugh for my heart

THANK YOU!!! I’m happy I can make you laugh!!!! :D :D :D

Anon said:I love you god bless you and your art! THANK YOU!

NAH THANK YOU FOR BEING THIS NICE!!!

Anon said:Hi! I absolutely /adore/ your BakuKiriKami art! I was wondering if you had any headcanons about them/what inspires you to draw them?

More than headcanons for them I have an incredible amount of scenarios I’d like to see them in! And when they’re compact, complete things I usually draw them, which is what inspires me really haha that, and seeing them interact in the manga! Lately I’ve been really drawn to Bakugou and Kaminari’s friendship, actually, so the romantic stuff has fallen in the background while my mind is preoccupied with thinking about them as platonic good pals ahhhhhhh as soon as I’ll work through it I’ll probably get back to drawing them as romantics, that’s just how my mind works lol

Anon said:I love the casual clothes you design for MHA characters! And I really enjoy reading your headcanons-always creative and fun! Is there anything you’d add to anyone’s hero costumes in class 1-A (something that might prove useful/practical for them, or something you’d add just for the heck of it)? Sorry if this is a stupid question or if you’ve answered a similar question before. Thanks for your time!

It’s not a stupid question, don’t worry!! But I generally like to leave myself in Horikoshi’s hands for this sort of stuff, since I both enjoy the costumes as they are AND don’t want to be disappointed in case what I hope for doesn’t actually happen - that said, I’ve mentioned before that I’d really like Aoyama to get redirectors for his laser on his palms and for Kaminari to get a close combat weapon, since with the quirk he has anything metal would actually work wonders for him! He mentioned a sword, but I rest my case that tonfas would be cool, I really want him to use tonfas. A “costume” I don’t understand is Hagakure’s, by the way - would be nice if she got an actual costume and also I don’t really get why she’d wear gloves at all?? Mirio’s costume was made using his hair, I really want her to get something similar! That’s about it tho, I haven’t really thought much about anyone else in that sense~ 

Anon said:Hello! A few weeks ago I asked about the bracelets you drew for Baku & Kiri. (That art is so beautiful!!) I was wondering if there’s a story behind them; such as, did one of them buy the pair, or did they pick them out together? I’m sorry if it’s a dumb question and if I’m bothering you.

THIS ASK I had lost it, thank you so much for sending it my way again! Actually, Kirishima bought it for himself and Bakugou - I mean to draw a small thing for it, be patient with me while I try to get my ass into gear for it ;O;

Anon said:It’s been a while since you’ve done any BakuKiriKami, do you still like that ship?

I do - as I said a few answers above this one, I’m just finding myself weirdly invested in a platonic relationship between Bakugou and Kaminari at the moment, and also Bakushima stole my focus and soul, but I do still like the ship a whole damn lot, definitely still my fav ot3 in the manga~

Anon said:I love your drawings so much, they always make my day seeing them. But I gotta say that kiri with his hair down is my weakness. He just looks so pure, the cuteness factor goes through the roof.

Thank you???? The Kiri thing is true for canon Kiri too, I’m glad I can bring it in my art!!! Mostly cause when I draw him with his hair down I’m never really sure what the hell I’m doing, I’ll be honest with you lmao

Anon said:hello, holy fUCKin shit how are you this damn good at drawing? like, fuck? thank you, bless you, have a nice day

THANK YOU! And all I do is draw, really lmao I wouldn’t say I’m all that good, definitely not anywhere near the artists I admire, but since all I can do is draw as long as I keep doing that I guess I’ll get there, sooner or later hahaha

[lizardswithoutlegs]

HOOOOOWOWOAH BOY

ART ASKS

when i walk into a building i get to eat everybodys pencils and they cant say no

do it 

( also thanks for asking ! ) 

itd bother me a lot less if everybody came to my apartment and took one of these beautiful eggs

YEAH UNFORTUNATELY IM STILL..... WORKING THROUGH THE SAME WAITLIST but im comparatively REAL CLOSE to being done with it and i should be opening up sometime later in...... the Year

Boy Have I

theres This messy thing from a while back and then also

THIS, from even FURTHER back, when i didnt realize how fucking RED all the outlines on my things were because of the monitor i was using, two for the price of one

why not both

i do Not but it you ever see me walking on the street please throw handfuls of teeth at me theyre the only things my wretched body can digest and im always hungry

OH MAN ok so, an art telephone game is based on, of course, the game telephone, where one person says a phrase and then whispers it to the next person, and so on and on until the person at the very end says whatever they heard and if its done right the final sentence is wildly different than what you started with

an ART telephone game is the same kind of concept, except one person draws out a scene or character, and then other artists draw THEIR interpretation of whats going on, and so forth until the last person can end up with something COMPLETELY different than what the first scene was

youd think thered be less room for error with drawings, but as each person ONLY sees what the person ahead of them has made, they can get PRETTY OUT THERE - im gonna be a part of pythosarts game, and theyve done a couple of em before - for example one round started with THESE as the first two drawings

and then fourteen interpretations later, ended up with these as the final two

its good its real good

I Cant Control Where Bigfoot Goes, I Can Only Take Note Of Where Hes Been

YEAH, sort of ! on the main, iguanamouth, i have a bunch of different tags for art depending on what they are but not really a catchall one, BUT i do have an art only blog where everything gets tossed over ! 

HONESTLY THE ADVICE i got is basically what all art advice is gonna boil down to eventually - you gotta just. do it. you gotta DO it

absolutely nobody you know who draws things well started out at the level theyre currently at, and putting down the things youre visualizing onto paper is a combination of getting the the technical aspects down as much as getting the idea in your head

and that goes with figuring out anatomy and how bodies are put together ! ive got to use references for a Million things,. especially the dragon hoards - theres absolutely nothing wrong with using references for your drawings ! and being able to create accurate representations of things without looking is something that comes more with drawing something over and over and memorizing the body shape more than just, feeling like you should KNOW how to do something

so dont beat yourself up for needing references. if youre trying to shy away from them a little bit but still cant make something look nice without em, try using several different reference photos to put together an entirely different pose ? 

theres ALSO the SHRIMP METHOD, which is great for practicing and getting good at one particular thing - this probably isnt SUPER HELPFUL but good luck ! 

god i tried. exactly ONCE maybe fourish years ago but it wasnt art, i was trying to stream the lion king movie and i had no idea what i was doing, i didnt realize i needed to wear headphones so the sound wouldnt snowball into a feedback loop of my own voice that never ended but i kept laughing and it kept distorting worse and worse, like the audio version of saving and resaving something as a jpeg

it was just me and my friend ronni in the stream and ONE other person who never left and never said anything and i kept addressing them out loud like WHO ARE YOU and that only compounded the noise problem and eventually i gave up

anyway i havent tried since

i uhhhhh dont think i COULD, really - fear especially is something thats kind of subjective and one persons Big Terror could be neutral or even cute to another person

like for me i used to have a lot of childhood fears about the ocean, and how deep and dark and vast it was, to the point where i couldnt play a lot of water levels in video games, even ( but i had almost drowned several times when i was Very young which probably had, a little somethin to do with that )

maybe sometime ill try to explore things IM afraid of, but its hard to encompass a psychological response in an image !! could be a fun experiment, though ! !

a few PLANT ANIMAL AZKZ, HUH, DONT HAVE A WORKING Z KEY

SHIT DUDE THESE ARE... SO GOOD thats the official name EVEN IF i didnt use. a daffodil as the flower base. it doesnt matter 

yes

i got A BUNCH of flower and plant themed suggestions and theyre all REALLY GOOD ( way more than these ) but straight up im taking a break from em for a while - if anybody is else is reading this though you should definitely tackle one of em

WASABI ASKS

Do Not Feed Animals The Paste

i keep going back to read this ask because you could replace wasabi with my name and its the exact same. its the same. i feel like i have to hide somewhere

this was real and this is the award they gave us

there were other awards but the judges refused to give them out. they burned them in front of the other dogs. we won

it depends on the age ! wasabis pretty much an adult, so her sheds are pretty infrequent ( usually once every 7-8 months ) BUT when she was still growing back like 6 years ago, she would do a full-body shed every other month !

wasabi accepts tokens of appreciation in the form of : fruit, green beans. No Exceptions

i would never seperate wasabi from her hands

absolutely..... not. not even a little bit h h hh a this isnt a disney animal companion, i dont even know what “kind of like a dog” means with , a lizard who cant make any vocalizations or get up on their hind legs or NOTHIN sometimes if i hold a piece of fruit on my hand and she reaches for it she gets confused on whats what and tries to bite my fingers instead

ONCE WHEN SHE was attacking her reflection in a mirror i put my hand in front of her face to break eye contact and she SUNK HER TEETH RIGHT IN THERE but immediately let go like “oh whoops”

lissten . . .  wasabi is so sharp, just absolutely everywhere, and these are the sharpest. the grabbers

heres a lil battle damage from earlier today actually

this is pretty tame BUT the long long lines are from claws, and the thinner, closer together ones are from holding her and her scales scraping against the skin. so not even just the Body is completely safe ! this is not an animal youre gonna wanna get your face real close to if theyre in a walkin mood

she doesnt even MEAN to scratch the shit outta me, its just kind of a byproduct of being a big tree lizard. her tail is absolutely the worst thing to get hit by though. the WORST. lucky me she doesnt attack anything that isnt a dog or a vacuum cleaner or her own reflection

ahhh i got her when i was 16 ! and i dont know her exact age but she was somewhere between 3-6 months when i get her - SHES probably closer to 9 years, but ive had her for about 8

LENGTH THOUGH...... the last time i measured her she was just barely under four and a half feet, but that was a few months ago and its possible shes. Just Slightly larger. shes currently sleeping as i type this so i guess we will never know

duel me

too late for coats..... its all tail action now

ROCK ASKS AND ALSO ASKS ABOUT PUTTING ROCKS IN YOUR MOUTH

oh MAN i feel you . . . . . . . . . . i dont think i could actually Bear To Eat any for real but some of em. just. they. i gotta. just. bite on em a LITTLE just a little bit, a tiny bit, a nibble

when i was real young i used to tap things against my teeth to tell what kind of substance they were made of based on the feeling/hardness/density WHATEVER and i still sometimes do it when im checking stuff out and. it uhhhhh sure is interesting finding out not a lot of people did that

a handful of these delicious raw agates, just for you

please stop spying on me

i DO NOT but you may eat this piece of bornite

meet me at the airport and ill cover your bus fair

theres a lotta different ways to figure out what kind of rocks you got but when you have absolutely no clue on where to start your best bet is to search for the biggest distinctive features of it, and try to narrow it down based on the results

like for something like these pieces of chalcedony, you could try “waxy green translucent mineral”, and from the search results find a few candidates that might be what you have on hand, and then look into each one to see if you can get a definite answer 

ive got a handful of rock and mineral guide books that i always pick through whenever i snag something im not sure of, and if youre REAL into it those are always something you could start keeping an eye out for 

now this is a REAL superficial way to telling what something is and wont be useful for a good chunk of minerals ( as a lot of samples can look really close to something else ) and THIS is a much more in depth way of telling something apart, but its also a lot more time consuming ! so good luck. and good eating.

Just Try And Fucking Stop Me

ANIMAL ASKS THAT ARENT............ ABOUT MY LIZARD

im married to this one actually

fuck. ok. heres. a secret. a In the ask Post secret. wasabi goes through a period that lasts a month every single year where she carries eggs in her gut, and spends that month not eating and digging around in everything, trying to find the right spot to lay these eggs. and. when it happens i never know what to do with them, and i dont want to just THROW THEM AWAY so i. eat them. i eat the eggs. i fuckin eat the eggs dude

Theyre All Goddesses

unless you plan on having your lizard roam around outside whenever they want, the outside environment doesnt really matter much for most reptiles as long as you set their habitat up right ! BUT i do know that australia has bans on certain reptiles ( iguanas are one of them ) and so youre gonna have to look up whats actually available in that area 

 bearded dragons are native and those are always a good option, but so are a lot of geckos - its really gonna depend on what youre into ( but i dont really recommend anoles if thats an option, because theyre fast as Hell and dont like being handled )

what the fuck is a bee

oh geez im sorry ! i remember going through this with spiders a lot when i was younger to the point where looking at photos of em used to be a fuckin, TRIAL 

you could try a really gradual exposure deal, where you start off with getting comfortable with just images, and slowly working your way to dealing with one in a controlled setting ( like a petstore, maybe ? not HANDLING em or anything, but just being near one in a way where its absolutely impossible for them to touch you )

the shitty thing about this kind of phobia is that even if you KNOW its irrational theres sometimes not a lot you can do about it, but if you can stand looking at photos of them you could try learning up about them, and finding out the types of species youre likely to encounter around your house, and seeing how many ( if any ) are ones you should avoid ?

i know some people that have major problems with snakes are because theyre unsure if the ones they find are poisonous or not, and it might go a long way to confirm that the reptiles you meet wont be able to harm you even if they TRIED ( which is gonna be the case with a lotta house geckos, they cant do SHIT youre a GIANT )

very VERY few lizards have venomous bites, and the worst most of em can do is give you a bloody finger if theyre large enough, and even then its usually not much worse than a cat scratch !

still though, if youre really serious about trying to get past this, dont force yourself too quick into what you think you SHOULD be, and take tiny steps outta your comfort level when you can

this probably isnt uhhh SUPER helpful hh hhah but good luck !  shit im going through this post and its like ALL reptile photos. im sorry

i feel about them, with my hands

MMM it shouldnt HURT them unless theres something Really wrong, considering its a natural procession of growth, BUT its definitely itchy as hell, to the point where reptiles trying to remove it will drag their bodies over stones or walls tryin to get it off

sometimes wasabi drags her whole hind foot over her head like a dog to get it off and it is. a Sight

ahhh honestly there arent a lotta reptiles thatre gonna do much more than TOLERATE the touch and not really, enjoy it, like a dog or cat or bird

but speaking from experience with wasabi, youll probably want to avoid most the head and stick with the top of the back near the sides - wasabi doesnt enjoy having her tail messed with much either, but shes ok with her dewlap and feet being touched

the most important thing to keep an eye out for when youre touching one is their body language, because  THATS gonna be a dead giveaway for whether you need to back off or not

closing their eyes is a sign of stress, not enjoyment ! same with tilting the head back, but if thats ALL theyre doing then youre probably not gonna face any retaliation

B U T if theyve got an extended dewlap with a raised body or tail off the ground, not a good idea to interact with em ! thats a defensive posture, and you risk getting hit with a tail or even bitten if your hand gets too close

youve got more to risk with males, who are way more territorial and generally larger, but if they seem pretty chill when you approach and dont stand up and stare at you, youre probably in the clear

COCK of the ROCK

I HAVE im so jealous of anybody whos got to see one in person - actually handling one is a level beyond that which i could even comprehend

OTHER THINGS.....

no but i was bit by a pigeon once

this is the only joke i know

i fuckin WISH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ayy im into it - honestly i havent been following the band so much as just kinda, picking up whatever anybody else mentions and so my knowledge on Gorillaz Lore is pretty uhhhh h hh h scattered but im definitely interested in seeing where this goes

i remember watching the first and second season and it being pretty good - some of the episodes and jokes are hit and miss but you absolutely got me with the creature and alien design

havent seen any of the third season yet though !

i mean the fruit ones could be pretty up there 

how bout. an abstract concept. who cares about physical forms wheres the dragon of melancholy 

why come theres nothing to eat in my apartment but bread. im good otherwise but its all just bread

i havent watched either of em in YEARS and YEARS but i distinctly remember. these lil dancing mushrooms

oh wait FUCK 

FUCK !!!!!!!!!

no... NO.... she is not allowed to eat ANYTHING from the plan shelf, try as she MIGHT

im a little mad that this sill isnt bigger because the only other one that gets sun is in my room and wasabi WIll... absolutely eat those. no doubt. a convenient and expensive salad, for my awful gremlin 

god im looking at these and its all jade plants isnt it

little golden books taste the best but they can make you sick if you have too many at once. my favorite genre for snacking is sci fi fantasy but anything over 300 pages tends to get a little tough if you dont break it up with smaller chunks. non fictions always a gamble because the taste is wildly different each time but you can usually tell how ripe it is by the cover color

ayy im already a big fan of some of their stuff, ive got a couple songs from them in my music tag - im especially into i miss you and their shut up and bring it here remix

TOP FIVE THINGS

1

2

3

4

5

this is barely related but once i filled up a bathtub with water and then dumped about ten bags worth of mint tea into it and then just. soaked around in the tea. listen it was really nice. id try the cheese

i dont have any ships but i was on one of those model pirate boats once for a school trip. our boat was named naruto and the other one was named sasuke and the captains shouted “make them kiss” and ran them into each other. everybody on board drowned

youre trying to trick me into googling yoshi without shoes and its not going to work

me reading this message from the safety of my apartment :

nice try, but wrong again ! : )

THIS IS GOOD info, thank you

oh SHIT the other side of paradise, take a slice, life itself, and season 2 episode 3 are all my Big Faves

the way you phrased this makes me think you already have a strong opinion on it

hey uh. coming from a person who was absolutely CONVINCED that theyd be dead in the future when they were 12, a not insignificant part of that was me feeling that there was something irreversibly wrong with me for not behaving or acting in certain ways based on what was going downstairs

and obviously im still HERE but it means i can understand how devastatingly terrible it can feel when youre that young and it seems like the way you behave and feel are flawed, or dirty, and anything that can lessen that feeling and make you comfortable in your own body is huge, can save your life

not that im saying its always a LIFE OR DEATH decision !

i guess if youre viewing it as adults forcing a child into making decisions that you dont think theyre capable of understanding its easy to be hesitant about getting behind it, but nobody is forcing a child to be trans. nobody has tricked them into feeling this way. you cant just walk in and get started on treatment on an immediate whim - some programs require 2 YEARS of concrete evidence before theyll even consider it

i feel like you should try speaking to the parents of trans children before you really put down a concrete opinion on whether this is a good or bad thing, and seeing the difference ( if any ) its made in their lives 

people whove detransitioned, or found they had ultimately a different identity than the one they were exploring could also be an avenue to look intto ! i have several acquaintances who, after a period of years, found they werent trans but wouldnt take back the time where they were figuring out if they were, and i know this doesnt invalidate the friends i have who ARE 

ultimately this is what it boils down to for me : Its Sure Gotta Beat Being Dead

i WILL give you that ive definitely seen a lot of overreactions to seemingly innocuous topics on this website

but youve also got to keep in mind that everybody who is saying these things MEANS them, and to them theres a completely reasonable explanation to why they feel that way

im not saying you should blindly accept any criticism you get, but to instead try to get a grasp on WHY theyre responding the way they are instead of immediately dismissing it

its because i cant drive and they wont let me sit in the front on account of the smell

NICE THINGS

AHHHH I GOT.. a bunch of other really sweet messages to the point where id feel weird about putting em ALL UP BUT... IF YOU SENT ME SOMETHING i can promise i absolutely saw it and it made my day better and just, holy shit, thank you for taking time out of your life to say anything to me at all

because you didnt have to, even a little bit

youre all beautiful and im kissing you on the mouths all at once. no take backs

[alphaofdarkness]

Man it’s been so long since I have done these~ thanks @timid-mew dear ^^

The rules are to write 11 things about yourself; answer the 11 questions given to you; and then make 11 questions for the next 11 people.

1. I’m just going to say this now IM FRICKEN IN LOVE WITH THE WALKING DEAD AND THE WALKING DEAD GAME ASDFGJSLK!! (despite me only playing the first season episode one ~) 
2. I LOVE LOVE Clementine from The Walking Dead Game at the moment, she is my badass zombie apocalypse daughter and I want her to be happy god~ 
3. I have my own story created from a dream I had way back in middle school. 
4. Since it’s creation I have developed seven main characters, dozens and I mean DOZENS of side characters with their own backstory and some form of plot and yeah all that good stuff~ 
5. Shameless self promo y'all but you can follow my side blog @wewillbelegendary for anymore info or questions ~

6. I love love wolves, they are my passion and inspiration. I can and will probably accomplish in making any character you like into a wolf~ tho don’t hold me on that~ 
7. My memory is also very poor, I don’t know why, I tend to forget a lot which cause me to have anxiety ;w; 
8. I have a close to 14 year old, brown, fat tabby cat who is a lazy little shit named Angel, but I love him with every inch of my heart ❤️. 
9. I love stuffed animals guys, that’s the way to my heart especially if they are soft to the touch! 
10. I long for the day where I actually put myself to write out my story or at least some bits of it so I have something. 
11. If I have a new favorite show, book, character, etc. I ALWAYS find a darn way to include my own little oc in that given situation or being said favorite thing into my story. Just because I want to and cause I’m crazy~ lol (like right now TWDG is in my story because I’m in denial of a lot things that have happened in the game :):):) )

~*~*~* 
1. Do you play Overwatch and if so is it on console or PC? Nooooo, I just know about from some of my followers. I just know about the character Mercy. She looks so beautiful and I love her appearance~

2. What is your one ship that guarantees to put a smile on your face? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)you give me this question and expect me to answer with just one otp??? How dare- HOW DARE YOU PUT ME ON THE SPOT VAL??? Lol I have to many to fricken pick darn it ahh they all make me smile okay ?? But I’ll choose one of my oc ships which is Takaru and Sam, because every time I think of them I'm smiling cause of their friendship and they have this pure innocence to them and dynamic in my story that always makes me fricken smile and so happy that I’ve these two sweetheart angels~ (that I can turn into fricken anguish when I want to! (° ͜ʖ°)) 
3. Favorite snack? Ugh these sour, strawberry stripes they are so delicious and I’m craving some now ;w;! 
4. Favorite Movie? Again Val there so many! But if I have to choose like an all time fav that still jerks my heartstrings is The Fox and the Hound. 
5.What do you draw/doodle on the corner of the paper or homeweork? EVERYTHING THAT CONCERNS MY DARN STORY OCS LIKE I KID Y O U NOT ITS ALWAYS FRICKEN WOLVES 
6. Any pets? Yep! One cat, dog, two fish, and several tortoises out back because of my dad~ 
7. Which do you value more, plot of the story or ships? If depends, sometimes the ship matters more to me, but I love a good plot to read about with my ships in it. 
8. Favorite game? THE WALKING DEAD GAME! Despite me not playing it (I’m such a disappointment ;w; I just don’t have time ~~ I prefer watching others play it~) I’ll include Pokemon cause I’ve actually played the games. 
9. Any fears you have? Oh several~ more of my traumatic fears are: Darkness, like complete darkness I just can’t deal with it I’ll start hyperventilating. Heights, man I can’t even walk down stairs without holding onto the rail cause I’m afraid of falling, I have anxiety of failing and disappointment it’s just…ugh complicated and I hate it ;-; but these are the most noticeable one at least. 
10. Favorite creature from any game/show? Uhhhhh I suppose Walkers or Zombies from The Walking Dead Game and show. 
11. What do you look for in a fic? If I have to be bluntly honest the ships, that’s the only reason I read~ unless it’s from fics like Warriors Fanfiction or offering SYOC then that too~ ^^ it’s about it~

~*~*~

Okay my questions are:~ 1. What is your favorite animal? Any reason why you like them? 2. What’s your favorite book or show? 3. Do you have an OCs of your own? If so how many of them? 4. Do your have a favorite ship that is above all the rest of your ships? 5. What are your fears? 6. Got any pets or want a specific pet that you always wanted as a pet? (Like exotic or non exotic animals? Lol) 7. What’s your all time favorite movie? 8. What’s your favorite season? Why? 9. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? 10. If you were suddenly thrown into any favorite universe from a book, movie, show, manga, so on and so forth which would it be? How would you react? :) 11. If you could have any ability or superpower what would it be and why? :3

Okay I’ll tag: @mama-sally, @mikasackerman835, @marthalerma, @theneonflower, @someboredloser, @faithiiii, @guyinlovewitheremika and anyone else who would like to do this is more than welcomed! Or you don’t have have to if you don’t want to! Thanks again @timid-mew!