#ummmm uhh anyway. ..

[tomlivingspace]

oh god they made peeniss into warrior cats

[edns]

It's just their halloween costume ok.

[cables-and-wires]

ohhh my god wait. hold on what mental illness is doing this

[lokisprettygirl]

Fix You Fix me (Bill Skarsgård! Eric Draven x Female Reader) (Au)

Read Chapter 10 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 11

Summary : Patricia invites you to dinner. Your relationship with Eric is changing.

Warning: Fat shaming, body shaming, manipulation, domestic violence, child abuse, cheating, reader lacks bit of a spine, emotional abuse, reader's weight will be mentioned because the fic demands it

“I owe you an apology” you said as you placed the duffle bag down on the desk. Chance looked at you and then shook his head. He hasn't been here this last week since you had returned, he was on a trip with his girlfriend Shelly so you hadn't gotten the chance to speak to him.

“You got nothing to apologize for..I get it. Heartbreak is a bitch” he said to you so you nodded. It was one of the worst things that had ever happened to you, losing the man you thought wanted to marry you, you did not see that coming.

“Still..I was wallowing in self pity all alone when I could have had you guys..thanks for checking up on me and I'm sorry I was ignoring you” you smiled so he brought his first up for you to bump.

“I'm just happy to see you back ..don't go anywhere now” he said to you so you smiled.

“Happy to be back”

“Also happy to not see Regina around here anymore”

You couldn't help but chuckle as he said that.

“I'm glad you told him about her cheating on him”

“It wouldn't have made a difference..he was going to break up with her anyways”

Your eyes narrowed as he said that.

“He was?”

“Yeahhhhhh”

You wanted to chit chat some more but you were getting late for the session so you clutched onto the strap of your bag as you entered the gym area, since Eric wasn't taking money from you, you didn't want to take up the slots that could be taken by a paying client. So you decided to do the session at 8:30 every night, that way Eric was free from his other clients and you got to walk home together after closing the gym.

“You know Patricia invited me to dinner at her place on Sunday?” you said as you walked side by side with him.

Eric’s mouth curved into a small smile. He was with Regina for almost a year and she never invited her home.

“I hope she's not planning to replace me with you”

You chuckled as he said that. As your building arrived Eric put his hands in the pocket of his trousers to say goodnight.

“Ummmm do you want to come up.. have a cup of coffee?”

You asked him as you stood on the stoop

“I don't drink coffee,” he said nonchalantly.

“Tea?”

“No”

“Ohkay umm-”

“I'm just messing with you”

You rolled your eyes as he said that.

“Make yourself at home” you said as you placed the bag down before entering the kitchen.

He looked around the living room, there was a picture frame on the dresser so he picked it up.

“You had a dog?” He asked, his voice reaching you so you yelled from the kitchen.

“Yeah my family did..Mojo..he was such a good dog..I loved him so much”

You mumbled as you came back and passed him the tea. The frame was still in his hand as he sat down on the couch next to you.

“There's a story behind that pic” you said before sipping on your tea so he looked at you.

“Go on”

“It was a hot summer day and I fainted in my parent's backyard because my mom had this thing where she often bought clothes two sizes too small for me-” his brows creased in worry as you said that.

“Why would she do that?”

“Look at me I was a chubs..she always said that women should buy clothes for the size they want to be and not the size they are-”

He hadn't met your mother yet but he was starting to see why you had such an unhealthy relationship with food and clothes. He had a feeling Jake made it worse for you.

“You're like ten in this picture”

“Yeah 9 actually..”

“That's messed up..clothes come in different sizes for a reason” you stared at him as he spoke.

“I ..uhh..I guess ..she just wanted me to stay in good shape”

“Nine years olds are not supposed to worry about that, besides you were not even overweight, you just had a little fluff like most kids do”

You smiled as he said that.

“What?” he asked as you had a grin on your face.

“Nothing..just …never thought of you as the guy who had the word fluff in his vocabulary”

It was his turn to roll his eyes, his cheeks almost flushed.

“Finish the story” he said to you, his fingers brushing gently over the picture.

“I woke up to Mojo licking on my face and trying to wake me up..i always look back at that moment and it just makes me smile”

He smiled as you finished. He had been doing that alot lately. You knew he only did that around the people he cared about.

In the past week you had thought about Jake less and less, and the moment you felt as if you were starting to move on, he began messaging you, asking how you were doing, if you were taking care of yourself, that he was worried about you, telling you that he missed you.

He even apologised, saying that it was a mistake with Maura and she was nothing like you.

You stayed strong and ignored those texts even though a part of you wanted to respond. A part of you still loved him, still held onto that idea of marriage and having a family with him. It just felt like he was your last chance and that you'd never have it again.

*****

Sunday arrived quicker than you'd have expected. You put on a floral dress, the one you had bought to fit your current size, did a light make up and took a cab to Patricia's house.

You knocked on the door twice, your fingers then clutched around the bottle of wine, you didn't want to come empty handed.

As the door opened you got ready to greet Stella or Patricia but it was Eric instead, out of his gym clothes, wearing a normal shirt and black pants for once. His hair was still wet from the shower, he smelled good.

Really good.

“Oh hi” you smiled, he stepped aside so you could enter.

“Hey” you handed him the bottle of wine so he stared at it.

“Thanks for bringing this.. though nobody drinks here”

Shit. His father was an alcoholic. How could you be such a dumb bitch y/n?

“My mom..she's on medication and Stella doesn't consume wine and I don't drink either so-” he continued so you reached for the bottle.

“I'll just take it back-”

“No. Let it be” he pulled it away from you “I'll open it if I win the final” he gave you a small smile.

“Not if.. when” you said to him, his eyes flickered for a moment before he composed himself.

“Ohhhhh welcome sweetheart” you heard Patricia’s voice from behind him so you approached her and bent down to give her a hug.

“Sit ..I'll bring tea” she said and immediately turned her wheelchair around but Eric caught up with her.

“Mama you stay put, you have been in that kitchen since morning” Eric said to her as he walked towards her chair and bent down to kiss her forehead. “I'll bring it” he said before he walked into the kitchen.

“He doesn't let me do anything..there's a cook Sheela that comes everyday..but today I wanted to make something special” you smiled as she said that. They were really lucky to have each other.

“That is really sweet but do let me know if you need help with anything” you said to her so she smiled.

“You look a lot happier than that day at the store.. you're glowing” She said as she caressed your head. She was so sweet to you as if you had known each other for years.

Eric has kept the main door open, You saw Chance entering with his girlfriend Shelly. After they both greeted Patricia, She looked at you.

“You must be y/n” she said as she approached you so you stood up and hugged her.

“You must be Shelly. I have heard alot about you”

“Good things I hope-” she giggled so you nodded.

As you watched Eric setting up the table you approached him.

“Need help?” You asked him,your fingers clutched around one of the chairs.

“Yeah I have no idea what I'm doing” you smiled as you began to set up the napkins.

“It doesn't seem that way..you're too modest” you said as you saw how the plates were set perfectly.

Once it was all done, Chance, Shelly and you sat on the one side, while Patricia, Eric and Stella sat on the other.

“Aaa aaaa i made a special Rice and Chicken dish for you and our y/n since she's on a healthy diet-” Patricia Said do Eric smiled and leaned to kiss her cheek .

“Thanks mama”

“Thank you Ms. Draven” you said to her softly, your eyes almost teared up at the gesture.

“That's not to say you can't eat anything else, okay? Eat whatever you want” she looked at you so you nodded.

In the middle of the dinner Eric's phone began to ring so he excused himself

“I'm so glad he broke up with that witch” Shelly whispered close to you, making you chuckle.

“Not a fan of queen bee huh?”

“She's such a bitch..we met at Chance’s birthday party last year, immediately she was being like girl you're so beautiful blah blah and we clicked a bunch of pictures..i thought wow what a nice girl right? Wrong ..next day I woke up to random people calling me ugly in my dm. She chose to post the worst picture she had of me on her profile”

Your mouth hung open as she said that.

“Oh my god that's what she did to me” she gasped as you said that.

“What did you do then?”

“I just asked her to delete it .. mainly because my ex was really upset about it..what did you do?”

She smirked as you questioned her.

“I threatened her to delete them-” she looked around the table, hoping Patricia won't hear her but luckily she was engrossed in a conversation with Stella, she then lowered down her voice.

“I found her secret Only fans Page..she had one of those before she got famous..she was using a fake name on there but i image searched her”

You gasped and then burst into a giggle at the revelation.

“I took a few screenshots and sent it to her, she immediately deleted the picture from her profile.. and never talked to me again”

“Did Eric know?”

“No don't think so..i never told Chance either.. her OF page is gone now anyways”

You could see why Chance was in love with her.

“Good on you for not ratting her out, even though she deserved it”

Eric returned a minute later, and his mom scolded him for leaving the dinner in between so he apologized.

You couldn't really put your thoughts into words at the moment. Everything felt so warm and sweet. It was like spending time with friends and family, with people where you know none of them disliked you, or made fun of you behind your back. Nobody was putting you down for how much you weighed, or how you looked in that dress.

Your eyes met with Eric, his brows furrowed for a moment.

“You okay?” He mouthed the words so you smiled and gave him a nod.

After dinner Patricia went into her room and brought back photo albums, mostly of Eric when he was a child.

“Y/n come..sit here” she said to you as she wheeled herself next to the couch.

“Mama no-”

Eric warned her but she gave him the typical mom look so he gave up.

You didn't get to have much conversation with Eric but your eyes met once in a while, everytime you looked at him, he was looking at you. You noticed how there were no pictures of Eric's father in the album, which made sense considering their history.

“This was the day i brought him home” she showed you a picture, Eric was just a little boy in it.

“He's adopted?” You asked, even though you already knew the truth.

“I couldn't have biological children, but it has never really mattered since he got in my life”

Patricia had her arm around his shoulder, you noticed she wasn't in the wheelchair in those pictures. You wanted to ask but you didn't want to be rude.

You wondered what it felt like, having a mother who loved him as much as she did. Yours was always emotionally distant so you didn't really understand the feeling but you knew it must have been nice to have someone you could open up to and hope she'd be on your side when you did.

Everything was going good, Eric was going to drop you home, but then something happened to Patricia, she fainted suddenly. Eric was immediately next to her before her body would slump down the chair.

“Did she take her meds today?” He asked Stella.

“Wait let me check her box, i did remind her in the evening -”

Stella rushed to the room. When she came back, she informed him that her meds for the evening were still in the box. Eric immediately picked her up to drive her to the nearby hospital.

“Ahhh Chance.. Can you drop y/n home?” he asked Chance but before he could respond you interrupted.

“No ..I'll come to the hospital…please” you spoke softly so he nodded. His eyes were teary, you could see how worried he was.

Eric had a car he kept here just for such emergencies. You sat down in front with him as Stella was taking care of Patricia in the back seat. Chance followed behind with Shelly on his bike. The hospital wasn't that far but there was a signal and you saw how his legs were constantly shaking. He couldn't sit still.

Once the hospital arrived, Eric immediately picked her carefully and took her inside.

“Paraplegic..S1 to S5 level. She’s on Midodrine for her BP and Baclofen for spasticity. She didn’t take her meds today and then fainted..look for her file..it must be under Patricia Draven”

He informed the nurse before she wheeled Patricia away, and another nurse asked you all to wait. Eric kept pacing back and forth in the hallway as he feared the worst, everytime such an incident occurred he just feared losing her.

After an examination the doctor put her on medication and informed him that she'd be alright. That's when he finally breathed in relief even though his nerves were still on fire.

“I'm so sorry Eric..i should have been more stern and should have watched her take the medicine..she probably didn't want to be sleepy tonight and that's why-” Stella spoke with tears in her eyes so Eric turned to her.

“You did nothing wrong, here..you go home..I'll bring her as soon as she's up” Eric told her as he placed his hand on her shoulder. She wiped her tears before she took the car keys from him.

Shelly had to be up early for her job too so Chance had a talk with Eric before he took her home, she took your number and hugged you before she left.

“Come…I'll drop you home” Eric said as he walked into the waiting room.

“I'll stay until she wakes up” he stared at you for a moment before he nodded and sat down next to you. You noticed how worried he seemed, his legs were still constantly shaking and he was zoning out. His hands were trembling too so you placed your hand on his. He stiffened for a moment,

“I should’ve noticed,” he muttered, voice laced with guilt. “She didn’t want to take her pills today because they make her sleepy. She wanted to cook for us and stay alert” he looked down as if he was ashamed of himself.

“She's fine Eric, just a little overworked, you know how moms get sometimes. I saw you doing whatever you could to keep her safe.. She'll be up in no time” you mumbled softly, your fingers gently curled around his, he turned his head to look at you, his eyes were teary.

“Thanks for staying..you didn't have to”

“You'd have done the same for me”

“Are you sure you still want to be here..it will take some time”

“I'm not going anywhere until she's up and home”

He smiled a little bit but he didn't let go of your hand.

“Can I ask how the injury.. happened? The spinal one” you asked him, you saw how his mood shifted, his jaw clenched in anger as if he was reliving the day “I'm sorry..i shouldn't have -”

“No it's okay.. It's just. It was my..her husband.. they often had fights, he'd scream and hit her, she'd cry and then next morning she'd act as if nothing happened. One night he pushed her down the stairs after he got shitfaced” your eyes teared up as he said that. His jaw remained clenched, thinking about that night still sent him into a fury.

“I should have intervened, I thought it was just another fight but then i heard the loud noise..found her on the bottom of the stairs..collapsed, I thought I had lost her”

You hand squeezed around him as he spoke.

“How old were you then?”

“Sixteen” you sniffled to control your tears from spilling.

For a moment you thought that was the night he almost killed his father but it wasn't, you remembered reading that he was almost eighteen when that happened. You wondered what made him snap eventually.

“On the way she had regained consciousness, asked me to not say anything to the police, made me promise that I would tell them that she just fell and that it was an accident- she loved that bastard, for all those moments when he wasn't such a monster under the influence but I knew he didn't love any of us, I should have done something to protect her-” he finished, your brought your other hand and braced it around his forearm.

“You were just a boy Eric..just a boy.. I know you did your best, and she did her best with you.. I'm so sorry.. I didn't want to bring up such awful memories “

“No..it's..it feels nice to share”

You smiled as he said that. You placed your head down on his shoulder after a while, hands still hooked together as if it was the most natural thing to do.

You couldn't ignore it though, you wanted to, you really wanted to because you were in love with Jake right? Just because he cheated on you doesn't mean your love was fake too, but you couldn't ignore how there were butterflies swarming in your belly every time you looked at your intertwined fingers. And that tingling sensation you felt in the pit of your stomach, you wanted to deny that too.

You stayed like that for a while, quiet, heads close, hands clasped until a nurse reappeared in the hallway.

“She’s asking for you,” she said gently.

Eric stood immediately, but before stepping away, he looked down at your joined hands. You slowly let go of his fingers.

“Come with me”

“You go first..she'd want to see you first..i'll be right behind” you said to him so he nodded before walking away but then he paused at the door and turned to look at you.

“The dress, you look beautiful” his voice was so tender as he spoke, immediately made your eyes well up.

“Thank you” you smiled so he returned it before he stepped out.

You took a deep breath as he went out of your sight, your heart was racing.

You looked at the dress, the colour green, the one you have been told didn't look good on you.

What just happened? Eric was a friend, like Chance was, you have had male friends before but this was different. This felt different. Exciting in a way you couldn't explain. The last time you had this feeling was with Jake–--

No that was not true. You never felt this way with Jake, so warm, so flushed, so pretty. He made you nervous but not in a good way, not in the way Eric did whenever he looked at you. And you were starting to realise that.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Note : She finally has a crush on him 👀👀

Taglist @loushaw131460 @wiseyouthinfluencer @purplerainx1 @bloodykisserr @muchwita @mariaenchanted @a-differentbrandof-beans @kikibit @venuslayla23-blog @somedayimagines @sn0wybowie-blog

[bloos-bloo]

HELLOOO!! I HAVE RETURNED- ANDDD Idk how to do lineups- please- this is a new type of embarrassing for me lmaooo-

BUT HEY! BISHOP REDESIGNS PART…. 3! YIPPEEE-

I didn’t change much lore wise- so the original sheet still has some info- but I will be info dumping under the cut with the individual art of each and like- my inspirations for them.

Narinder changed a lot- ummm he’s such a slay now. Omggg- Tee hee- Anyways, His pronouns are He/Him and he’s Pansexual- yes yes. He’s no longer a disciple but he’s an Undertaker and a GraveWatcher. Thought it was more fitting for him-

Ummm he’s based off a Kurilian Bobtail cat :D I NEEDED TO MAKE HIM FUN TO DRAW OKKK?? AND NOW HE ISSS AKDBDJDBJD

Leshy uses He/Him pronouns and he’s gay demisexual Yaaayyy- :D He’s a bartender and occasionally farms, but he rather destroy the plots for fun or eat the crops.

I kinda took all kinds of inspirations for him- ummm first of all- I based him off the Moss Creeps from hollow knight- cause yeah- they’re adorable. HE HAS LESS CLOTHING CAUSE HES ALWAYS IN THE DIRT- Less clothes = Less of a hassle to deal with clothing being restrictive. It makes totallyyy sense- yes yes

Me accidentally making Heket my favorite- tee hee- WIBDKDBD OK- Heket uses She/Her pronouns and she’s aroace. She has no time for no MAN OR WOMAN- AS SHE SHOULD!! GIRLBOSS YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE!! YIPPPEEEE- She’s usually a cook but once a while she’ll go on missions. Give her a weapon of any kind and she’s golden.

For the life of me- I cannot draw frogs- so I based her off of the Chinese Giant Salmander- just pretend she’s totally based off a frog.

Imma be so honest- idk why I always draw Kallamar so small- tee hee-

OK! Kallamar’s transfeminine who uses He/They pronouns. They’re also poly <3 love that for himmm- look at themmm- enough hands to holddd- A good think to point out is that they’re completely blind in his left eye- (looks like it’s right in this- um.. trust me-) they can never win- tee hee. Uhh he’s still a medic and occasionally helps at the tailors.

Kallamar my beloved- YOU COVERED UP!! YIPPEEE- THE SLUT DOES GET COLD /silly. Um- he’s based off a diamond squid- kinda sorta- I just loved the frills those squids had- tee hee-

MURRAAAA- MUURRAAAA-

Cough cough- ummmm. Shamura’s a demisexual nonbinary <3 (AFAB to FTN- me projecting PLEASE-) They’re still a disciple but their main focus is usually in the library or tailors. Unlike Kal- their second set of arms are retractable! Along with their legs- erm, you can tell when they don’t want to walk with those small ass feet- I bet it hurts.

I have- no solid inspiration for Shamura other than tarantula- I did steal the colored beads from my human design of them. Each bead being their sibling. I just love fluffy spiders-

FINALLY THIS BITCH- /silly

Emery uses all pronouns and is unlabeled! They love whoever- (do they even love? Idk man-) She’s normally known as the Shepard, carrying around the Shepard’s hook.. love that for them- tee hee- uhhh not much to say about her. I just love Emery- (The difference between the two Emerys is terrifying btw-)

Like Shamura- I have no official inspiration for them besides looking around Pinterest. Man- I just love how she came out though- like??? Ekdbdjbdkdbdjdvdid-

I wish I wrote more but my brain is dying- I’ll most definitely redesign my fankids and the spouses- 🫡 laaatteerrr- yes yes- tee hee-

[the-fiction-witch]

Blue Bow

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating SMUT AF

Requested (can I just say first that I'm a HUGE fan of your work i love you💗) but anyway could you write an imagine where Y/n works at the hospital with Jack but he never notices her until he finds her..pleasuring herself to the thought of him and then soon he starts to notice her and falls in love with her?? that was a lot I'm sorry but that would make my life complete (could you also add smut between them??)

I groaned as the light from my window flooded in across my face caused my skin to heat up, I forced my body up out of my bed and made the bed behind me, I went to my wardrobe and got some clothes on for today before headed to the small stove made myself a cup of tea and some toast to try and bring me into this world a little more. I finished my toast and was about halfway down my tea before I heard my door. I looked up and saw one of the nurses, I didn't know her name opened my door. This was very usual most nurses don't bother to knock or anything mostly because if they're getting me there isn't often really time to knock I guess. 

I looked at her and took her in a little, a pair of small black boots laced up to her knees, I would assume stockings but I don't know, the usual grey-washed-out nurses dress around her with an apron over it, nothing overly spectacular or noteworthy about her. She was cute I guess, but the main thing I noticed about her was her hair in a ponytail with a blue ribbon bow to tie it up.

"Doctor Dawkins?"

"Yes?" I asked, 

"The surgery is starting,"

"Right, I'll be down in a second." 

She nodded and went off back to her business, So I finished my tea and headed down to get on with work. 

I set up for surgery this afternoon and sorted everything I needed in the prep room, I heard the nurse who was to be helping me today arrive at the prep room, I didn't bother to look up at her I'm sure whoever it is can do her job. 

"Doctor," She smiled as she brought the leather apron over, 

I saw her and noticed it was her again, her little boots, grey washed-out uniform, and her hair with its blue bow ribbon keeping her hair in a bun. Ohh right that one, "Ahh Afternoon," I told her as she happily handed me the apron which I slipped over my head and she cheerfully buckled it at my back,

"Good Afternoon Doctor Dawkins," she smiled, 

"You know what we're doing?" 

"Yes sir," 

"Good, shall we get on then?" I asked her as I turned and handed her what we needed to take into the theatre, 

"Of course, yes." She nodded as she followed behind me like a little lost kitten,  

I sighed as I headed into the storage cupboard looking for, well peace for a few minutes. I shut the door and leaned against the wall, I took a moment to breathe and to straighten my head after today's madness. I let a few breaths out but I perked up as I heard another sound, I heard a gasp but not like a gasp of surprise. I looked into the cupboard and saw someone standing leaning against the side of the wooden shelf used to store towels, bedsheets, and other such things, given the angle they were mostly hidden. But I saw a foot around the shelf with a black knee-high lace boot, an exposed leg with some pale stockings, and the pulled-up fabric of a washed-out nurse uniform. They gasped and shifted their body a lot, I was almost worried they were hurt whoever they were. 

"Uhhh... Doctor Dawkins..." Her voice moaned softly,

Ohhh... What? What was that? she- she just moaned my name? Ohhhh this is gonna be fun.

"Uhh...uhhhh... ummmm..." Her voice muttered as she tried to be quiet, 

It was then as she moved her head I saw her hair in a half updo with a blue ribbon bow, 

Ohh! it's Blue bow. It's her. that- that one. who's the name... damn it still escapes me. I moved a little closer to try and see her better, Her back was against the wooden shelves and Her dress was tugged up around her waist exposing her white bloomers, she had moved the table close to her and perched herself on the corner of the wooden table she shifted and moved her body slowly to the rounded edge of the wooden table rubbed against her clit to pleasure her. Ughh fuck she looked so good... Umm my naughty little nurse. I had to admit watching her grind on the table moaning for me with that innocent little blue bow in her hair was more than enough to get me excited. But she moved off the table and I almost whined from disappointment, but she unbuttoned her dress and slipped her hand in plaid and fondled her breast she leant against the shelf and slipped her hand between her legs as she rubbed her clit and slipped her fingers inside herself. 

"Ughhh! Doctor Dawkins..." She moaned,

Ummm... you naughty little girl, locking yourself away to touch yourself thinking about me. Fuck I just wanna go over and get my hands on you... but, then you might stop and we don't want that. 

I watched her for a creepy amount of time but I couldn't tear my eyes away, I bit my lip as I watched her so eagerly play, I couldn't stop myself from unbuttoning my trousers and I pulled out my stiff erection, I smirked as I rubbed my hand down myself as I watched her, listening to her gasps and moans, I did my best to keep quiet made sure my hand kept pace with hers, But she was overexcited already going a little too fast for me but I soon got to that point of desire too, 

"Ughhhhh!" she whined clearly desperate,

I wanted to go over and finish her myself but she was doing just fine without me, and she was so much fun to watch, as her own wetness coated her hand and even began to drip down her legs, until it suddenly hit her, she lent her head back her eyes rolled back and her mouth hung open as she uncontrollably moaned as she reached her orgasm. Just watching her was amazing and I hit my own only just after her own, so I clamped a hand over my mouth so my moans wouldn't alert her to my presence, I quickly cleaned up and calmed down. 

"Umm..." she sighed and fanned herself with her hand as she fixed her clothes, "Ohh Doctor Dawkins..." she sighed happily as she blew a kiss,

Awww she's cute, I silently blew her a kiss too before I quickly did my trousers up and left as quietly as I could, as soon as I shut the door I bolted across to the small room under the theatre standing and shut the door to be alone. "Fuck..." I gasped slightly recovering after all that, "Ummm you naughty little thing. I'm gonna have to start paying more attention to my little blue bowed nurse." 

I smirked leaning on the wall across from the ward, looking through the window watching the nurses work, or well... the nurse work. My eyes square on her. In her little boots, her cute little dress and apron, her hair in a braided half updo with her blue ribbon plaided into her braid and then in a bow at the bottom to hold the braid, a broom in her hand as she worked making sure everything was cleaned. I admit my eyes lingered longer than they should have, and it had been like this for days now, ever since the storage cupboard incident I couldn't stop looking at her, reminded of what I saw. But even so, I couldn't help but notice so many things about her, how she always wiggles her hips as she sweeps, how she dusts off her hands when she's finished working, how every day she finds a new way to put that little blue ribbon in her hair, her sweet gentle smile when she makes the patients, I have to admit... I do think she's cute, and sweet, and... Ohh crap. I like her, don't I. 

"Ohh Good Morning Doctor Dawkins," she smiled as she hurried past with her broom,

"Morning," I smiled, "You're always so busy," I chuckled as I followed her with my arms behind my back, 

"Well, so much to do." she chuckled,

"Yeah I imagine there is, you don't have to work so hard you know. You can leave some of it to the other nurses?"

"No, it wouldn't be right, I don't mind."

"You're sweet, such a precious little thing," 

She blushed, "Aww that's so kind of you, Doctor Dawkins," she giggled, "I uhh I think you're very sweet too,"

"Hum... you're too nice to me." I smirked, "You sure you don't take any breaks during the day?"

"I do try not to doctor," she said, "always something to do,"

"Right you are," I nodded, "But uhh you ever do want a break, the uhh... the storage cupboard is a very peaceful place."

Blush formed across her cheeks, "It uhh it is?"

"I'd say so,"

"I uhh I wouldn't know I don't often take a break, let alone in the uhh storage cupboard."

"no, course not. You're far too busy." I told her, "But if ever you do fancy a break I do enjoy the storage cupboard,"

"You do?"

"I do, often find myself in there of a busy day,"

"Yes uhh I uhh I will have to take your word for it," 

 "You have a nice day Nurse," I told her before I headed off to get on with my work, unable to hide my smile for hours.

I stood by my mirror and fixed my hair a little to make sure I looked decent, I knew she'd be coming up to drop off some clean laundry for me and I was eager to see her. As soon as I heard feet up the stairs so I went and sat on my bed doing my best to look attractive grabbing a book to look mysterious and busy as she came into my room in her usual dress and apron, her hair in her usual blue bow tied around her head with the bow on the top of her head like an adorable little present, the basket in her hands with the folded laundry.

"Ahh There you are," I smiled,

"Good Evening doctor Dawkins," She cooed as she set the basket down by my wardrobe as usual,

"Thank you very much,"

"You're welcome," She smiled before our eyes finally let and immediately blush dusted her cheeks,

"Yes?" I smirked at her blush,

"Uhh Doctor Dawkins..." She began, "Are you reading your book upside down... on purpose?" 

I glanced at the book in my hand and saw the pages and their words upside down, as I was in fact holding the book upside down, "...Yes," I answered, "I was trying to observe a medical diagram from an additional angle..." I lied, 

"Oh, of course, do excuse me." she smiled, "Is that all or is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Yes actually, I uhh..." I began as I got out of bed and set my book down, "I wanted to ask you how you came into this line of work?"

"Ohh? Me?"

"Yes, you." I told her as I moved closer to her,

"Well, My uhh my father got sick when I was young, just sort of lived my life as if I lived in a hospital always cleaning and caring for him, after he died I suppose I just thought I should use my years of experience." 

"That's very sweet."

"Thank you, may I ask how you came into this line of work doctor?"

"Much the same I suppose, just sort of fell into it." 

"Well, I'm glad you did,"

"Yeah, I'm glad you did too."

"If that's everything Doctor I should be heading back..."

"There is one more thing,"

"Oh?"

I couldn't wait any longer so I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips to hers, her lips soft and almost sugary, she kissed back her hands settled on my chest and gripped my shirt, I quickly wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her closer so not an inch remained between us, she pulled back for some air and gasped quickly. 

"Umm... Don't stop." I told her as I caressed her cheek and pressed kisses all over her face and jaw, 

"What?"

"Don't stop, Please... just let me kiss you." 

"Doctor dawkins I-"

"Please. I need you. I want you so bad..." I groaned, "You've wound me up like a bloody spring all this time, now you've let me go... you can't expect me to just stop-" 

"I didn't know you- you even looked at me?"

"I've done nothing but look at you for weeks." I told her as I ran the tip of my nose up her own, "Humm ever since the storage cupboard..." 

"Ohh god- You-"

"Ohh I know." I growled, "I watched you..."

"You wa-watched me?"

"I did."

"Ohh I'm so so sorry I-"

"It's alright, I was too."

"wh-what?!"

"I was, I joined in with you. Took all my strength not to go over and replace your hands."

"You should have,"

"Should I? Would you have wanted me too?"

"I would,"

"Well... how about we repeat the cupboard events then? but this time I'll replace your hands."

"On one condition,"

"Yes?"

"I'll replace yours too."

"deal!" I smirked as I pulled her back into a kiss, 

she very happily kissed back, our kisses becoming lustful and passionate immediately, our hands lost on each other our lips battling one another but there was no way on this earth she was winning over me. I set my hands on the back of her thighs just under her ass and lifted her up before I threw her down on my bed not wasting a single moment to get between her legs, she giggled her hands either side of her head on the pillow before she grabbed me by my hair and pulled me down to her, I didn't argue pushing myself against her pinning her whole body down pressing it into my mattress as we kissed her hands tugging and knotting in my hair as our moans flowed freely, I pulled back kissing down her neck as my hands grabbed her hem and forced up her dress,

"Let's see what you're hiding under this study little dress," I growled in her ear as I pushed her dress up she happily lifted her arms letting me push it off over her head and throw it off my bed revealing her cream corset and white bloomers, and that body... Fuck! "Urrghhh! That is a fucking crime to lock that body in that boxy stuffy dress... Ummmm look at you!" I groaned kissing down her chest until I reached her corset, her hands began tugging at my waistcoat so I did deny her I sat up and unbuttoned it throwing it to the floor too I peeled off my suspenders and tossed my shirt to the side and Immediately her hands found my bare chest and wouldn't stop petting and stroking me, 

"Oooohh Look at you," She smirked, 

I admit... that made me feel very loved and very desired, not had a girl go so excited about seeing me before, and... I cannot be blamed for my response. 

"Ummmmm!" I groaned wrapping my arms around her and pushing her so hard into my best as I kissed her on the the bed springs actually broke below us, 

"What was that?" she pulled away at the shocking sound, 

"I don't know- I don't care-" I told her, "the bed still work?"

"...Yes?" She said quickly giving it a test,

"Then I'll deal with it later!" I told her kissing her again, my fingers quickly found her corset ties tugging and pulling on them until it was undone and tossed that off the bed pulling back to see her perky breasts "Fuck!" I groaned just looking at her, "I can't wait anymore." I groaned yanking her bloomers off and kissing her stomach as I did all to get her naked on my bed already she was insanely beautiful and I held her thighs to spread them a little to get the most perfect view of her laying on my bed her hair against my pillow with that cute little blue bow in her hair, her perk bare breasts, her smooth seductive stomach, her glistening pussy with her legs wide open for me. I kissed down her body already feeling myself throbbing in my trousers for her, "I want you so bad..."

"Then you can have me doctor Dawkins..." she gasped, 

I didn't need to be told twice burying my head between her legs to lick and suck on her clit not even needing to warm up gently as she was already more than ready for me, Hearing her gently whine and squeal under me was the most erotic sound I'd heard in my life, her body often wiggling and flinching under me from how overwhelmed she was at merely my touch, and her taste! fuck I could eat her for breakfast, lunch and dinner and still not be satisfied. My hands held her thighs stroking the cotton soft skin her own knotted into my hair tugging and pushing on my head often to guide me where she needed me, 

"Ughh! Doctor Dawkins! Stop please I'll-" She whined, 

I didn't stop I got faster moving a hand up to grab her breast fondling it in my hand as I kissed her and her orgasm hit suddenly her legs shaking, her hips twitching and her squirting down my bed her hands gripped my hair tightly and she loudly moaned,

"Ughhhhhhhh!" 

"Ohh my god you look so good-" I groaned as I watched her cum, "Ummm, you're doing that again!" I smirked trying to kiss her again but she clamped her thighs shut,

"No, no please -" she gasped, "At least let me rest for a moment..."

"Alright, you think you have the energy?" I smirked unbuttoning my trousers and pulling out my cock, 

"yes doctor," she nodded excitedly, she happily kissed my neck and chest before taking every inch of me in her mouth,

"Ughhhh fuck!" I groaned one hand holding the bed and the other holding her bow as she so passionately worked, moans and groans tumbling from my lips as she worked moving her head back and forth using her tongue to run circles all the way around my head, I couldn't stop looking at her as she worked, "Ummm you look so gorgeous... Ummm you naughty little thing," I groaned I knew I was already close to her sucking so I pushed her back flat on the bed which made her giggle teasingly "Ohh? you like winding me up?"

"Maybe..."

"Maybe I should torture you see how you like it?" I smirked thrusting two fingers inside her fast and hard,

"Ughhhhhh Doctor Dawkins please!" she screamed over my fast and merciless thrusts I smirked and grabbed her breast fondling her perky breast again and hardening her nipple rubbing and pinching it which made her scream more, "Ahhh ughhh uuuuhhhhh!"

"Aww you like that?" 

"Mhm..."

"This what you want?" I growled taking my hand from her pussy to grab her other breast and playing with her nipples with both hands 

"Ughhh yes!" she whined,

"Ummm, you naughty girl..." I growled kissing her neck as I mercilessly plaid with them, "Umm I wanna suck on them so bad-"

"R-really?"

"Yeah- sorry that was probably kinda-" I began trying to apologize as I realized how weird that sounded only after it left my mouth but she grabbed my hair and forced my head down, I smirked and kissed down her neck and chest picking the left biting gently on the soft smooth skin of her breast before flicking my tongue across her hard nipple which immediately made her tense, I made sure to be slow watching her face as I ran my tongue in a clockwise circle around it before sucking hard on her nipple even gracing her skin a little with my teeth and flicking my tongue across her harder. 

"Uhhhh! Please! doctor-" she gasped, "No more please,"

"No? What do you want instead?"

"I want you inside me."

"Ughhh! You naughty girl!" I smirked immediately stroking myself to make sure I was at my best for her, "Ready?"

"Ready," she nodded, 

I smirked and pushed inside her, immediately losing myself in pleasure. She felt amazing! more than I could have ever imagined I held her hips hard and thrusted hard and fast listening to her intense screams, I let my moans fall without concern I knew I wouldn't last long so I rubbed on her clit mercilessly as I thrusted harder and faster hearing her scream and plead for more. She pushed me back until I pulled out I was confused for a moment but she smirked and turned over to kneel on her stomach moving her hips back until they met my own, "Ummmm you naughty girl." I growled grabbing her hips and thrusting fast and hard, listening to the sounds of her moans and squeals mixed with the bed squeaking and the sound of our skin hitting each other, I smirked and grabbed her breast tugging on her nipples making her scream in pleasure, "Ummm you like that? Fuck! You naughty girl, my naughty, naughty girl." 

"Doctor Dawkins..." she moaned, "Yes! Please!"

"Come on my little nurse, I'm not stopping till you cum." I smirked pulling her hair and that sweet little blue bow until, she tightened around me and squirted again as she reached her orgasm I kept going to let her ride it out as long as possible but it made me reach my orgasm too so I quickly pulled out and finished across her back. She collapsed on the bed and I quickly laid down beside her as we both gasped quickly, "Fuck... I uhh I think I'm in love with you,"

"What?"

"I... I think I'm in love with you."

"I... I love you too..." she smiled, "You really mean that?"

"I do," I nodded, "More than anything," 

"Ohh, that's very sweet doctor Dawkins," she cooed moving to lay her head on my chest I smiled and pet her hair softly, 

"It's Jack." 

"Jack," she smiled, "Jack Dawkins, it's a very pretty name."

"Aww you're a sweet little thing," I told her,

"Y/n. Y/n Y/l/n."

"Y/n," I smiled kissing her head, "that's a beautiful name." I told her kissing her sweet face, "I really do love you y/n."

"I love you too Jack," She smiled nuzzling closer into my chest so I held her tight and tucked the covers around us, letting her lay there comfortably as I plaid with her cute blue bow. 

[homuracar]

not to be insane or late or anything but you should elaborate on your evamon omegaverse.. I'm listening I promise it's interesting

hi anon 😭 i rly didn't expect a lot of people to see that post so i'm a little shy so many are reacting to omegaverse evamon. um i don't have much thoughts because in my head it would've been a one-shot fic if i had any writing skills.

the scenario would've been like. eva still lies about her ultimate And she's known as an alpha(idk how omegaverse works in detail but in my head the classmates know some of the other's uhh secondary gender. it's like a normal thing to disclose but they won't push hard for you to disclose it so damon can just not answer questions about it) anyways she loses aura(only way to describe it) after her true ultimate is revealed and damon's like wow... she's a really loser alpha...

they bond as they do in chapter 1 (eva is like i Hate the alpha beta omega stupid things i Hate it.!!! and damons like she so obviously had a hard time with being an alpha and being the way she is) and damon is annoyingly blunt but sympathetic to her situation nonetheless because he can't help it with her sadgirl demeanor. then ohhnooooo damon goes in heaaat he wasn't expecting thisss 😥😥😥. he plans on just goinf thru it alone somehow so he's like Kai im not rooming with you anymore(kai:huh okay i guess) and he's going to his room and then he runs into eva and you know how i drew it that's what happens. so eva knows now. she leaves damon be and he goes to his room alone. eva's running to check if theres heat supressants in the infirmary and maybe tozu is fucked in the head in omegaverse idfk but ohhh noo there's no supressants what the helll😖😖😖 eva has to tell damon so she scurries back to his room like ummmm damon... and damon can't rly hear her so he tells her Just come in and he's on the bed because 😭 and eva's like Uh there there was no supressants (sweating). obviously this freaks damon out like what do you mean NONE AT ALL. eva's apologizing profusely in a very stiff awkward way because she thinks she should leave the room cause she's sweating now and damon's in heat. but damon asks her not to leave. maybe because he doesn't wanna be alone or something idk. and i don't know how to write but somehow they have sex ok that's basically all of it sorry. eva still dies. SAD!

that's basically it i don't have expansions to it sorry it was like a one time in-canon idea it doesn't help that damon is widowed now 😢 idk the other character's secondary gender because i don't rly care unfortunately. but who knows maybe damon moves on with a new alpha. Kidding i won't let him infidel on evamon(half lie)

[penisbilt]

waving hello everyone so uh sorry for just kinda up and vanishing for um. months and months and months. i kind of exploded and then died and then lived briefly and then died again. but with the days getting longer and me being brave and being outdoors more (Even Though its starting to get real wintery outside) it feels like im coming to life again AND developing social tendencies for the first time in uhh ummmm. so anyway yeah hi i can almost handle the thought of communicating with other human beings again in the near future, stay tuned

[oya-oya-okay]

ummmm HIIIIII fellow mootie👋 👋  I see you very often in my tl with your very cute comics and art in general and I wanted to thankyou for also regularly liking my posts ,,,,,😳😳😳UHH ANYWAY HAPPY BELATED BDAY may I offer this widdle shuuzul doodle in these trying times 🤲 💌

AAAHHHHHH😳🤯🤯🤯 AHHHHHHHH!1!!

OH MY GOD IS THAT YOU!?!?🤩💖💓💖💓💞💓💞💓💞💓 AAAHHHHHH! I'M SO HAPPY AND FLATTERED OMG!!!😭😭😭😭💓💕💓💕💓💕 THANK YOU VERY MUCH OMWGWHWGHWW THANK YOU💖💓💖💓

I'M VERY HAPPY THAT YOU THINK MY COMICS AND ART ARE CUTE😭😭😭😭😭

YOU'RE SO COOL AND CUTE💖💥💖💥 YOUR STYLE IS SO WONDERFUL, AND YOUR ART IS REALLY IMPRESSIVE AND INSPIRING💘💝💥💝💥💘💥 IT'S VERY COOL😭😭😭😭😭💕💘💕💘💕💘💕💘💕

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUCH A CHARMING SHUZUL!!!😭💖💕💖💕💖💕💖 I DIDN'T EVEN THINK THAT YOU WOULD WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONE DAY🤩💝💖💝💖💝💖 SOOOO I AM REALLY SO HAPPY AAAHGGGWGW💓💓💓💓 THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!😭😭😭💖💕💖💕💕💖

THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS!!!💕💓💕💓💕💓 HOLD HANDS!!! IT'S SO LOVELY!!!😍😍😍❤️💓❤️💓❤️💓 YOU DREW AZUL SO BEAUTIFULLY, HE'S HANDSOME✨💘💖✨ AND SHUU IS SO CUTE! SHE HAS A CHARMING EXPRESSION~🥺😍💕💕💕💕 THEY'RE SO SMALL AND CUTE😭💞💓❤️

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!💕💖💖💥💖💥💖💖 HAVE A NICE DAY AAHHHHWHWGG💓💞💖💞💖💝💖💝💝💖💓💖💓💖💞

[mochamoth]

Hi, yapping on tumblr, uhh

I fucking

love Samarie from F&H Termina.

I like how weird she is. I like her design, her personality, her backstory. Her flaws are interesting and like lowkey she's tragic and just downright pathetic but I love her. I like the way she's a moth lover (being one myself ofc). Back to design ummmm she has such cool facial features like?? I love her nose and her asymmetric (intentional or not), droopy eyes. Love how she looks like she hasn't slept in 1,000 days. Pretty neat. Her moonscorch too omfg. Like Dysmorphia is such a fuckin badass monster design, also hot. Very hot. Anyways uhh I love Samarie she is cool yay.

.. I should mention I am very hyperfixated on her. Aswell. Yea.

[hedghost]

Hedge’s Official Ranking of the 24/25 WSL Kits That Literally Nobody Asked For - Home Edition

please please tell me your thoughts in the reblogs or tags!!! i love hearing other people’s critiques. this is the one time the woso community can all come together and complain about the same thing!

1.Liverpool

potentially a controversial opinion but this is Nice As Hell! i know a lot of people said the collars are ugly but like idk it’s kinda giving if you ask me. it’s bold, it’s a statement. i love retro. this is just a good kit. it’s doing bits without doing too much. simple, tasteful, plus a little subtle pizzazz with those jaunty ass stripes - werk it ladies!

plus this kit is made from recycled plastic bottles, nice job! save those turtles liverpool!

apparently the pattern spells out ynwa, which i’m totally Not seeing (maybe i misunderstood this). i’m getting a Y, and then like an H in there maybe? and then i’m just lost, so not sure you hit the mark with that one, but love you for trying! it’s a cool pattern regardless, so i’d maybe just ditch the whole symbolism jargon and stick with that. overall nice job guys - 9/10

bonus points for that prematch shirt, love the detailing on it very sexy top marks

2. Arsenal

sorry arsenal fans, this shit is ugly as fuckkkkk - i’m not even being biased or trying to start fights (for once) it’s just like so hideous. i didn’t really like last season’s but compared to this that was a masterpiece. it’s so PLAIN! the weird red splodge is like not flattering at all and the blue? what’s that all about? also i fucking hate the back it looks like a used period pad, so hopefully the numbers fix that.

praying for your sakes you get a nice third kit or something bc this is ass.

also i’m a HATER for minimalist badge designs. this cannon logo makes the shirt look like a uniform for a museum volunteer. don’t get me wrong - arsenal is not the only culprit. what has a good old crest ever done to you? why do we hate maximalism? why do we hate fun? - 4/10

3. Manchester City

now this is fine. it’s just fine. it’s objectively nice, but it’s also objectively boring! as! fuck! the solid blue is clean but a little too flat. something looks off. it’s missing something. idk it’s nice ig, but it also seems identical to last season? if i saw these pics with no context i’d literally think it was from this year, but that’s the case with most top tier clubs it seems. have some fun guys! push the boat out! where’s the whimsy? but yeah anyway it’s alright.

at least they tried with the sleeves. allegedly they have the manchester dialling code 0161 on them but i mean - do they? do they really? because it looks like a bus seat to me. city fans decide for yourself i guess, because i for one won’t be getting close enough to a city shirt to look

it’s also made from recycled waste textiles so yay again! probably made from all the city shirts people threw out after they all but fucked the title 🤭 - 7/10

4. Tottenham Hotspur

wow spurs this is nice. it’s just so clean, so crisp. my normal issue with spurs kits is their absolute undying commitment to being plain as fuck. they picked one colour, white - arguably the most boring colour of all, arguably even the total absence of colour - and stuck to it. this however? it’s simplicity done well. it’s still plain and simple, but in a gorgeous sexy way. those navy retro colourblock sleeves? stunning! the crispest white you’ve ever seen? stunning! the tiniest of sleeve embellishments? stunning! simplicity done well. it’s just so crispy. pleases my eye.

also huge respect to them for not jumping of the band wagon with the whole ‘every shirt must have ugly details with symbolic meaning we grasped at straws to come up with in order to do something new and edgy’. spurs said no! they said ‘oh this? yeah this is a football shirt. what does it mean? it means football shirt.’ thanks spurs, good job - 9.5/10

5. Crystal Palace

ummmm. now. hmm. uhh. what? this is, um, what? give me a second to get my thoughts in order. i don’t know what is happening here and i’m at a loss for words.

right. crystal palace. inaugural season in the wsl. making a statement. making a splash. right. here’s the thing. i’m always saying wsl kits are too boring. i’m always saying we want fun patterns and whimsy. i’m looking at this in genuine confusion because i actually do not know what is going on here. do i like it? not sure? do i hate it? also not sure?

i think i kind of like it? but i also kind of hate it? it’s insanely busy, it’s probably the most garish kit i’ve ever seen in my life. i think part of the problem is that the club doesn’t have a great colour palette to work from. it’s very bright. i do love the pattern of the eagle crest in the blue, that’s a huge win from me. it’s just those spray paint red splatters that’s throwing me off. it looks like they spent ages making a lovely blue eagle pattern and then remembered they needed red in there so just used the funky spray tools on microsoft paint to draw over the top. it’s giving shit cgi blood splatter in a low budget zombie film. it’s like the barcelona shirts if they were designed by a gcse art student on an acid trip.

the more i’m looking at it however, i’m kind of loving it? kinda camp i guess. this one could be a grower. i’m still confused. at least they’ll make a splash in the wsl - 6/10

6. Manchester United

you’d think by now that i would have learnt to not get my hopes up with this club. remember the long long list of disappointments from yanited this season that i never shut up about? yeah, add this kit to that list.

listen it’s not awful. it’s not ugly, it’s not an eyesore. at the very least, it’s classic united. but it’s just so! bloody! dull! i’m literally falling asleep looking at it. it’s a t-shirt. its literally just a t-shirt. the problem is they set the bar too high last year, with that beautiful pattern and beautiful shade of red. and now, in proper united style, we’re straight back to mediocrity.

let’s talk details. oh wait, they aren’t ANY. there is nothing to say about this kit because there is nothing going ON with this kit. i like the white stripes. that’s it. theres the ombré red at the bottom, which is like- it’s okay. problem is - there’s like four too many shades of red on this shirt, and none of them are that nice. it needs a pattern or something! a pop! a little pizzazz! not a fan of the curved back panel, but it does look a whole lot better than arsenal’s at least.

this is absolutely nothing groundbreaking but it’s fine. it’s just so fucking plain. i know my girls will still serve in it, but i hoped for more. of course, in true united fashion: it’s the hope that kills you - 6/10

7. Chelsea

the tagline for this release is 'we burn blue', because 'the hottest part of the flame burns blue'. congrats on passing year seven chemistry guys. anyway, with that in mind, this kit is, naturally of course, patterned with a mystery blue LIQUID. im not seeing flames in any part of this kit. literally how is this meant to look like fire. this tagline is pure bollocks. it literally could not look more like water if it tried. aka, the opposite of fire.

the kit itself, i'm honestly struggling to form an opinion. i dont think i hate it, but i dont love it either. it may have been easier to figure out if i could actually SEE the kit in any of the release photos, instead of some stupid fucking slow motion blur effect. this pic makes mayra look like she's undergoing mitosis. poor girl's been through enough. it says a lot that in your official kit release you're actively preventing me from looking at the kit.

its not awful? i'm not a fan of these kind of realistic graphics on kits, just makes it look fake and cheap, but like, idk its kinda cool ig. the more i look the more i'm down with it. the colours are nice. its shiny. i'm glad we've gone for originality at least. patterns are fun. - 7.5/10

8. Brighton

i missed this release bc i saw the pictures and genuinely did not realise it was a different kit oops. i do feel bad for clubs who have committed to a striped kit because honestly there’s not really many ways you can play with that. but also that’s kind of their own fault. there’s really not much you can say about this. the sleeves are white this time… okay… there’s a faint pinstripe down each stripe… okayyy… yep that’s kind of it really.

it’s clean, it’s classic brighton, it’s a decent kit. there’s just genuinely nothing new about this. it’s fine. they just clearly couldn’t be bothered and i respect that. - 6/10

9. West Ham

okay we’re doing turtlenecks now apparently!! interesting choice!! i think it kinda looks fuckass silly but also i kind of like it actually. bit of fun innit. good stripes.

the rest of the kit is pretty mid. plainer than a toast sandwich. except for the sleeves! because this year, not only are they bringing in turtlenecks, west ham have decided to also bring in milkmaid sleeves! why is it like that? like is it just a weird bad fit or have they put a fucking elasticated band on? who’s idea was that? what is going on! also am i having a stroke or has the badge changed colour. because it looks fucking hideous. what did they do that for.

i do love the fact they did this shoot in a pub though. very funny. and the kit isn’t too bad. i like the stripes - 6/10

10. Leicester

this is the plainest most boring kit i have ever seen with my own two eyes. that is literally all i can say about this. boring. much like the city of leicester itself.

however - the women have a different kit sponsor to the men and i respect that so you can have one bonus point - 4/10

11. Everton

i’ll be totally honest - i wasn’t expecting everton to give me like the best kit of the bunch. this is the kit for me. i like this one a lot. castore may be mega shit quality but at least they don’t just copy paste all their kits.

i fucking love the pattern here. it’s subtle but it’s nice! and it’s different! we’re not doing any mad shit like chelsea, we’re not doing absolutely nothing at all like leicester. the perfect middle ground of the blue kits. the sponsor is hideous but i’m ignoring that. this is just lovely to look at. stylish, sleek. it’s giving high quality bus seats. this is no stagecoach, this is private hire only. i just love it. and then to top it all off, just the perfect amount of collar detailing. i would be a happy toffee if i was wearing this. gorgeous. loses half a point because the badge fell off during the game which is hysterical.- 9.5/10

12. Aston Villa

this is just the west ham kit if west ham were normal. it’s nothing to write home about, but i do like it. i like the block sleeves and the stripe colour. i like the subtle stripes down the side. i like the simplicity. i like the collar stripes. i even like the flat badge. also i’m assuming this is a betting sponsor which sucks but i do have to say that the sponsor looks great with this kit. it blends in, which is rare. this is a clean, classic kit, and i’m glad that at least one team could be normal. i don’t like that there’s pretty much nothing i can make fun of here. unfortunate for me, good for villa. good job - 8/10

note - all this was written as soon as each club released their kit, so some of my opinions have changed, and a lot have grown on me (looking at you united), but i’ve left the review untouched so you can get purely my honest first impression.

away, third and goalkeeper ratings are currently in progress so expect them once they've all been released! these posts literally never get any notes but i absolutely love doing them so i'm doing it anyway, but if you did wanna encourage me with some nice comments that wouldn't go amiss ;) xx

[sersir]

I was going to send other ship but i realized i can't put pics on here </3

anyway hi ummmm could u draw 2004 Tord and Loud Bob being uhh... boyfriends? I love them sm and most of stuff of this ship are mine </3 i want food X(

if ur going to do my rq, pls don't add horns to 2004 Tord (since i want him to be based on the Christmas Special) and also pls don't draw them as teenagers cuz that hc makes me unconfortable </3 but it's totally ok if u wanna decline this bc of it! specially if the ship is uncomfy to u!

anyway have a nice day or night!! ^_^

Oh nothing just Tord admiring his boyfriend as he rants about sum stuff

Also I made twwwwoo versions!! Just incase the black-hoodie one looked a little too close to highscool version

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

tag game :-)

tagged by @sophieswundergarten . sort of. i did it on my ted lasso blog i hope you dont mind :)

what's the origin of your blog title? i'm going to assume "title" is url and not the like, little header text. it's just a pun because i love trent and puns and also i think he's gorgeous

favorite fandoms : well, currently ted lasso, but the mysterious benedict society continues to hold a special place in my heart

OTP(s) + shipname : uhhh my current top ships are tedependent and roytrent, but nicholas/milligan (tmbs) also of course sneak into my brain and my old beloved malec (shadowhunters tv only not the other version) will always hold a special stubborn little place in my heart. also, the doctor/river. love them so much

favorite color : hmm dark greens with warm undertones, but like, that kind of forest/jewel green not olive/army you know

favorite game : ohhh that's so hard. hollow knight, disco elysium, the legend of zelda: breath of the wild, and pokemon mystery dungeon: explorers of sky are probably the top ones, but i also love bug fables: the everlasting sapling, turnip boy commits tax evasion, goat simulator 3, minecraft, the legend of zelda: phantom hourglass, the legend of zelda: link between worlds, new pokemon snap, pokemon platinum, a short hike, haunt the house: terrortown, and so so many more. i'm a big video games fan. i'm also currently obsessively playing hello kitty island adventure which is fun

song stuck in your head : uhhhh nothing right now but i think the last one was like. maybe "Bad Memories" with MEDUZA, or "SATANIC PANIC" by IDKHOW? Oxford Blood (Autoheart)? I can't remember

weirdest habit/trait? ummmm my whole personality probably. idk man i'm a weird little man i can't think of any particular specific habit other than my lack of filter i guess. uhh i dont like hot drinks usually, even tea, despite half my family being british? and i really really love soda. oh, i can't drive despite being in my twenties lol

hobbies : oh mostly artsy shit. writing, drawing, comics, zines, beading (mostly bracelets and lizards), stickers, that kind of thing. also: video games. mostly playing, but i dabble in making/design also

if you work, what's your profession? no job rn :( got into an MFA program i'll hopefully be starting soon though!

if you could have any job you wish what would it be? hmmm. either creating something (like making my own dream game, writing a book, directing or acting in a tv show, maybe even running a youtube channel or podcast) or like, just something simple but fulfilling that didn't leave me exhausted for my free time. that pays well. you know

something you're good at : writing, i like to think

something you're bad at : um, gender. taking compliments/praise. not having really intense feelings over things that dont matter. typing on mobile phone

something you love : stuffed animals and soft pillows. soda, particularly colas with weird fruity flavors (currently drinking blackberry dr pepper lol) although pibb xtra will always be a fave. loaded fries. hand-cut fries (not loaded)

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff : hmmm any of my beloved case of the week shows (there are too many to list), TMBS, trent crimm

something you hate : people being stupid/wrong in a way that is annoying to me specifically but i know isn't a big deal so i just have to simmer with it and the intense feeling of wanting to correct them somehow but like i'm not a dick so i don't do that but like i'm just simmering in it going hhhhh>:(

something you collect : pins, pens, magnets, beads, stickers, keychains. i love me some little trinkets

something you forget : everything, always, all the time

what's your love language? ummm idk. love languages are kind of bullshit but they're fun to talk about anyway and i guess it'd be like. thoughtful actions and gift giving you know. i do love little gifts i cant help it and people being thoughtful and helping you for no reason is just really nice

favorite movie/show : oh man, i have no idea. there are too many good ones that i rewatch all the time, or ones that are bad but im super attached to one character, or whatever. i can't really decide.

favorite food : fries, particularly either hand-cut fries cooked just right (a little crispy but not crunchy) or like fries loaded in some interesting way (not just slapping cheese and bacon on). also see: cajun/spicy burger with mayo

favorite animal : uhhhh so many good choices. cats. frogs. moths. lizards. dogs. birds. etc. i cant choose im sorry. can i cheat and say dragon for now

are you musical? oh yeah! i haven't played the flute in ages so i'd probably be bad at it but i love to sing

what were you like as a child? extremely annoying, alternating between loud hyper little ball of garish colors (attempted class clown, but too annoying to other children to truly succeed) and extremely quiet forgettable little know-it-all bookworm (attempted teachers' pet, but too annoying to adults to truly succeed)

favorite subject at school? uhh, english and art

least favorite subject? biology, probably

what's your best character trait? i like to think i'm kind and helpful and maybe even funny

what's your worst character trait? i can be selfish and spiteful even if it's mostly internal, and also annoying & persistent when i don't catch a hint. and since i can't really read people well i consistently don't catch the hint. and the not reading people means i also often get defensive and read hostility where it might not be

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? a delicious meal that isn't leftovers

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? oh, i have no clue. i think someone random. not anyone famous, just an everyday (but hopefully nice) person from a chosen period

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!) :

oooh only one?? here, let's. i will settle for three

to seek solace by @andillwriteyouatragedy

slowly, gently, with love by @fade-in-the-dark

Just like bull riding by @itsonlydana

tagging: uhhhhhhhh anyone. who wants to. bc im lazy

[rubysparx]

Ok it’s been a very long time since I’ve made an original httyd post (don’t look at the old ones they’re embarrassing. Look at me. Hi) but I want to share wif you my modern au thoughts, ok? Im sharing pls b nice..

Ummmm anyway the whole story kinda centers on Gustav idrk why just worked out that way. Ummm all my gender + sexuality hcs r still mostky the same I think. Hiccup got into a sick and cool and based collage with mostly everybody else probably too but like Tuff kinda flunks out eventually and maybe Snot too (they were roommates) (bisexually, yes). Ruff drops out, she maybe could’ve kept going but she’s doing soooo bad mentally chat . It’s not good <3 I love when. One twin’s life gets better and the other’s plummets but they’re so “package deal” brained that the idea of them becoming distant in any way is really fucking with both of them. But basickahlee Tuff n Snotlout start unofficially dating but it’s like weird and secret bc Snotlout is like still working things out in his brain and stuff and also Tuffnut is scared of his sister finding out in case she tries to push a “well share him!” thing that she’s done before. Her polyamorous swag vs his scared-of-her virgin aura! Astrid and Hiccup r dating fucking obviously but also they’re learning that actually you do need to like work on a relationship to maintain it, both of them are very busy ppl so like . “You never have time for me when I miss you” thing happening both ways but aLSOO Astrid is sooo bad at talking abt it. This is an unrelated fact but Snotlout has a knife collection and sews a lot of patches. Uhhh um uhh fishlegs is like . Idk I think he’s aroace but I’m flexible with it I think maybe he’s also kinda cupio wif if. I think at some point Ruffnut decides to make a bad decision and get with him but it’s ok she accidentally falls in love with him (BAD. DOOM DIMENSION. WATCH THIS BPD SPIRAL SOOOO HARD) but guysss it’s ok he’s super niceys and patient and direct and I think that eventually they would have a really based and epic qpr.. but also sometimes it drives Ruff bonkers bc it looks normal to outsiders and she’s scared of looking like a tied down wifey so she gets Extra Weird (and perhaps freakkkyy) (sexual) with him in public . Or just goes off and does something unhealthy or impulsive and comes back like “ok I’m normal now” I LOVE HER. Grips the armrests of my chair. I love her..

Anyway dagur exists and his story is p much the same. Heather also real, she and Astrid dated for a short while just before collage then Heather straight up went missing n messy breakup and all that blah blah blah. She’s fine tho guys don’t worry (<- plotting evily) um and alsooo Gustav real! He would be in highschool but he doesn’t ever go in and his family doesn’t rllyyy care, he lingers around Snotlout (and subsequently tuffnut) or dagur most of the time. Astrid tries to be a mother figure to him, it doesn’t work, he’s scared of her. He kind of subconsciously sees Ruff as a mother figure? Bc she ignores and neglects him, sometimes she’s mean to him, reminds him of his real family. I think ruff hates him bc he reminds her a lot of her when she was younger (tramgender) and also bc he clearly wants her attention in a “you’re like my mom” way (although again it’s subconscious for him) and she hatesssss thatttt.

Also Gus (pronounced Goose) is probably trans in some way but he doesn’t have that figured out yet so neither do I rlly, so dont worry abt it just yet ok bye

[chronicallyblyrie]

Its Magnus Protocol Thursday! They came back out of quick hiatus so I figured this time I'd make a post highlighting my live thoughts in order as I listen to the episode. Here are all of my thoughts right as I thought them while listening :)

-UHH CELIA GIRLY?? NOT AGAIN?? DO YOU WAKE UP ON THE SIDE OF FREEWAYS IN YOUR PAJAMAS OFTEN?? ALSO WHO IS JACK??

-sad Sam:(

-TF YOU MEAN FOLLOWED HOME FROM A COFFEE SHOP?? WE ALREADY DID CREEPY GUY IN A COFFEE SHOP ONCE WITH SASHA AND HE ENDED UP BEING A CREEPY DOOR GUY NO THANK YOU

-awww hi chester

-buried statement maybe????

-more tattoos okay okay I'm interested

-also water and sailor theme??? Lonely??

-uhhh person with more tattoos okay this is interesting

-gordie is getting a little too enamored with these waves..

-GORDIE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE SEA A MAN DIED

-this is making me think of vast now

-dude you do NOT need to know what's in the water

-so is this like a cult of tattooed people or smth

-DONT STEAL THE BODY GORDAN

-hey hey Alice he's just being a little investigator let him cross reference :(

-GWEN??

-wtf is going on with you and celia???

-ummm Gwen are you being thankful..???

-Gwen stop being bitchy for FIVE FUCKING SECONDS

-Celia you are SO lying I know it

-angry alice is scary

-ah yeah don't worry that WAS mr.bonzo

-ummmm what do you mean watch the case loads??? What do you mean GWEN FIGURED IT OUT??

Well that was... something... anyways the horrors are back I'm actually so happy

[bigsharter666]

sorry i havent been updating yall as much lately i was busy uhh... busy doing ummmm... uuuuhhh... anyway yeah i was busy <3