#unfortunately cancer has gotten several people

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I hate how inconsistent the temperature iOS this time of year. Today the high is like 64 but two days from now they are predicting a high of 80 something. Every morning i have to check the weather to see what I have to do, air conditioning on or off, and when I’m getting out my clothes for the day i have to figure out just how much of the day I’ll be outside. In the morning it will be like 60 something and then at noon it’s like 80. What pants am I supposed to wear like this? And do I need a sweater or will it just be extra bulk in warmer weather? On Monday I was like “oh hell yeah, I can wear my skinny jeans now. And the new ouija board sweater i got at target! And then yesterday it was 75 and i forgot to check the weather so i didn’t turn on the air conditioning or open a window until i noticed it was uncomfortably warm in the afternoon and i had trouble falling asleep because my bedroom (i don’t open the window here very often because i live near train tracks and I’d rather not hear it louder in my bedroom while i try to sleep, and any wind will blow my curtains around and let light in) even with my window open all night while it dipped to around 60 felt too hot, but I refused to use the air conditioner when it was 60 out and nice. I had been using the stove though and that combined with my body heat and the weather warming the small apartment up, I was sweating in my bed and I couldn’t fall asleep. And then! If you sweat a whole lot overnight and your window is open cooling the place down, you’re hit by cold when you remove the blanket. I need to wash shorts and pants and it’s weird. September is always super inconsistent here.

[cripplecharacters]

hello! so, i currently have an oc in the works. i dont have much for his character yet, and hes kind of a blank slate at the moment, however, whilst trying to develop him i had the idea to give him a disability; its something i dont do with my characters very often, and i feel like it could give some depth and realism to his character. however, i..... dont know where to really start with it? i have the vague idea that i think id like him to have crutches, so some sort of leg disability, but just going off that its been hard for me to find any condition that feels quite right. im unsure about making him an amputee either; seemingly the "go to" for anyone who wants to make a physically disabled character. i want to try and represent a disability thats less fetishized by the general public, and looking through this blog here its definitely apparent that a lot of people are tired of seeing basic half amputee characters with overly functional prosthetics; i wanna avoid that. sorry this has gotten a bit rambly, but basically what im asking is,, do you have advice for what i could use as just. a general starting point in this? im terribly uneducated and lost at the moment and id love some help. thank you :]

Hi!

It's great that you're interested in writing a disabled character (with care)! I'm always happy to see more writers/artists/creatives do that.

You mentioned wanting to give him crutches, which is cool! Mobility aid users in media make me happy. However, you mentioned crutches as meaning a leg disability, which isn't always the case — and while I don't have statistics on it, I believe that most crutch users do not use them for leg-only problems, and a lot of them have the not-so-fetishized conditions. Here are some suggestions of what you could give your character, which hopefully gives you some ideas. If you need, you can get back to us with a more specific question after you figure out what exactly your character has! :-) (smile)

Cerebral palsy — probably the most common reason for using crutches in non-elderly people, and the most common (physical) disability in younger people in general. If your character has diplegic (meaning lower limbs affected) CP, he could use crutches and if he has hemiplegic (one arm and one leg affected) CP, then he could use a single crutch or a cane. Cerebral palsy is generally extremely underrepresented when compared to how many people have it IRL! Just be aware that there is a lot of research involved just about the condition itself — multiple types (spastic/ataxic/dyskinetic), different kinds of body involvement, tons of different mobility aids and orthotics to learn about. There is also hereditary spastic paraplegia, which is not the same as CP but similar and progressive.

Spinal cord injury — the general assumption is that all people with spinal cord injuries are fully paralyzed below the neck or waist, and that's not the case. If your character has an incomplete SCI on any level or just a very low level injury, he could be using crutches or switch between a wheelchair and crutches. It's essential to research SCIs to have them be more than “legs don't work, but that's literally it”. SCI can come with severe nerve pain, spasticity, atrophy, and a lot of other things. Worth noting that spinal cord injury could be traumatic, but could also be congenital (spina bifida) or illness related (polio, transverse myelitis, spinal stroke, or cancer, for example). You could think that it's overrepresented in media, but SCI is generally just used as a “default condition” for why a character is in a wheelchair, and a lot of these representations are unfortunately very shallow.

Paralysis — in the monoplegic sense here. Much more rare than the rest of the things here, but your character could have a single paralyzed leg, largely due to nerve damage. Could be traumatic or illness-related (e.g., cancer, infection, or multiple sclerosis).

Stroke (and other traumatic/acquired brain injuries) — stroke can cause a million different symptoms and depending on what happens to your character exactly, he might need crutches! A big portion of stroke survivors deal with hemiplegia and could use a crutch on their non-affected side, for example. Some kinds of stroke might cause your character to have troubles with balance and require a mobility aid to not fall. Of course stroke will also cause other symptoms for your character (it wouldn't be too realistic to only have him have problems with his legs) for example speech issues, headaches, or seizures. Stroke can happen to anyone, and it wouldn't be weird to have a younger character with it. Very common in real life but very rarely represented in fiction.

Limb difference — you can definitely write a character with a limb difference or an amputation without fetishizing it! The main concern with the fetishization is the concept of the robotic limb that works just as well as or even better than a meat leg, and thus the character is “fixed”. But your character could just… not use a prosthetic. A lot of congenital amputees, people with limb differences, or with high level (above knee) amputations might do that. He could also have a leg length difference, which could cause him to need crutches (for example, Morteza Mehrzad has one of his legs significantly shorter after a pelvic injury, and he uses crutches among other mobility aids).

Chronic pain — very broad category for too many specific conditions to count. Neuropathy in the legs and/or lower back could be a reason for using crutches, for example. Unhealed, or poorly healed past injuries. Arthritis in knees or hips. Hypermobility that makes him unsteady or dislocate joints. Pain in bones or muscles where he can't fully weight-bear.

Gait disorders — another broad category (sorry). Your character could have problems with his gait and need aids for that. It could be caused by dyspraxia (I have it), ataxia, progressive muscular dystrophy (there is a lot of different types), Parkinson's disease, or a lot of other things! Could also be injury related.

And of course you could have multiple characters that are disabled to make sure that there is some variety :)

I hope that the above list gave you some ideas for your character :-) (smile) if you have more questions, feel free to send another ask

mod Sasza

[homosociallyyours]

This is a post for one of my best friends who's been going through a lot for the past few years. I'll go into more details below, but here's the heart of the matter: My friend has a serious auto-immune condition resulting from the long term after effects of cancer treatments (worsened now by the addition of long COVID to her long list of diagnoses). Over the past few years, she's gotten sicker and sicker and has been forced to change her diet from a vegetarian anti-cancer diet (she's a breast cancer survivor, and fought HARD for her health) to one that's become more and more limited as her body becomes allergic to every food one by one. She's now reached a point where one of the last 2 foods that she was able to eat safely, chicken, is causing an allergic reaction; she has to eat it anyway to survive, so is now very sick all the time.

What can you do?

One of the last hopes that she has to turn things around is something called a fecal microbiome transplant, which has worked miracles for other people with similar issues, but cannot currently be accessed through medical channels in the US for any but one (unrelated) condition. It's really easy to do as a DIY treatment though, it's just hard to find a donor: so we are putting it out there to see if one of you might be able and willing to be that person, or know someone who could do it.

Here is what she has to say about the ask:

Finding the right person to do this is difficult, but actually doing the helping is extremely easy and quick if someone was that person! If you live in the continental US and are fortunate enough to have both physical and mental good health (or know someone or have a child who fit the criteria) and are willing, you might be able to change my life! Please consider clicking through to read more and maybe even come aboard...  (For clarity: this isn't a medical procedure or anything, it is literally just donating poop, there are a few specifics but it is very much from the comfort of your home on your own time.)

You can click here to fill out a google form to see if you might be able to be a donor. The questionaire is detailed: fecal transplant is a bizarre and magical thing in which the patient sometimes can even end up acquiring personal preferences from the donor- the gut microbiome (sometimes called the second brain) is incredible! But this means that any illness, chronic issues, or risk factors you carry may also be transferred to the recipient so while it may feel invasive, getting detailed info in very necessary; I am just too sick already to take on any more problems.

A note- yes, it is possible to buy screened and processed treatments even in the US: unfortunately the cost (~$2k per round of treatment) is way outside my reach, particularly given that it isn't really any better than just getting poop directly from a good candidate (proven via studies), and that often it takes trying a couple donors/ rounds to find a match that gets results. If anyone wants to just buy me that stuff, I sure wouldn't say no to that, but given the severity of my situation (medical and financial; I cannot work due to disability) it is likely I will need to do medical fundraising at some point and I am trying to save that for an even worse point. Also if you have that kind of money to help out honestly it would be better spent on specialists or my astronomical food costs. I will cover all costs associated with this process if I find someone though, of course!

Thank you for reading/boosting/etc, please consider sending the link to possible healthy friends or family who might be a fit, or consider whether you have a child fitting the bill you might be willing to enlist- young microbiomes are the best ones, as children's systems have had less time to be ravaged by the effects of the modern world or the simple deterioration of age.

[jaim-inhothekid]

⚓︎ 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭

[ W.C ! ] : 2k

[ Summary ! ] : Former admiral Aokiji Kuzan was captured by fleet admiral Akainu Sakazuki, abandoned by his crew and on his way to marineford – where he is due to be executed, Sakazuki decides to stop by and bid his goodbye. | NSFW ; Canon x Canon

⌗ ✎ Author's Note : This is a work commissioned by the lovely @uminozerol !! If you're interested in commissioning me as well, here's my sheet!

Kuzan has never been one to regret his own actions. Free will allows people to choose the paths that better resonate with themselves, either they are ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It doesn't really matter because facing the reality of things, more often than not, you are forced to make choices you normally wouldn't want to make and take paths you'd rather not go. Paths that you'd never see yourself going, until – by one of life's accursed twists – you see that you have no choice.

So maybe there's no free will, after all.

Kuzan did not regret the stupid things he had done in his youth, golden years spent under the unforgiving sun of the south, laughing until the corners of his mouth stung and living each day like the next would never come. Kuzan recalled the rotten crowds and questionable friendships that have gotten him in too much trouble to count, but also gave him the best core memories. The first bottle of booze he thought he could down – and that had him vomiting his guts out in a dim lighted alley. The redhead who lived two blocks away from his house, who kissed him like she was trying to rip a chunk out of his lips but at least let him sneak a hand under her shirt.

Kuzan did not regret joining the marines, neither did he regret the life that he chose for himself. Kuzan fools himself into thinking that he does not regret what happened in Ohara and what he did to Saul, or at least he tries, empty attempts of reassuring himself with the fact that what has been done cannot be undone, what was done needed to be done. Because living in denial proves itself again and again to be easier than holding oneself accountable, guilt spreads itself like a cancer, so it's better to pretend you're just another victim of unfortunate circumstances. The executioner desperately seeks to be guiltless, even though he knows he does not have anyone to blame for the blood on his hands.

Kuzan does regret ever having anything to do with Teach, regrets stepping foot on that ship, regrets shaking the man's filthy hand – no amount of drawn out, icy cold showers seemed to wash away the feeling of wrongness left behind by that exchange, palms together, rings made of brass painted gold with equally fake gemstones biting into the leather of Kuzan's glove, a lecherous smirk lacking teeth, you are just as bad as me.

But nothing could ever compare to the regret he felt when he saw the warship approaching in the distance, the sky and the sea morphing into a hellish scenery of scarlet hues, magma falling from the sky in the shape of meteors – a pair of severe brown eyes, glaring down at him with the fury of a God, as if seeing Kuzan still alive was a personal insult, worth of revulsion. The raft was destroyed, and Teach, cowardly pest he is, didn't think twice about running away with the show of horror he calls a crew. Leaving Kuzan behind at the mercy, or absolute lack of it, of Sakazuki.

The saddened looks from the marines weighting on Kuzan's back were akin to having his skin prickled with several tiny needles all at once as he was all but hurled into the ship, a feeling of incoming doom trailed behind him like a devil as he was guided across the deck and down the stairs leading to a solitary cell. Something ugly and heavy curled inside his chest and dropped to the pit of his stomach, for a second Kuzan thought of himself wearing the skin of a lamb being led to its slaughter, watched with great despair by the remaining herd.

The ones who looked at him with anger and indignation were easier to ignore, the ones whose faces he recognized from years of service alongside, not so much. A small part of Kuzan was grateful that Garp was nowhere to be seen – he was sure that having to look the man whom he owed so much in the eyes as a foe, would've broken him. Once a protégé, now just another one to serve as proof of Garp's insistent habit of raising enemies.

And now, restrained by sea-stone chains and sitting on the dirty floor below deck of a warship headed to marineford, Kuzan starts to come to terms with the fact that maybe he is indeed just as bad as Teach. By willingly walking into his lair, by willingly following his orders, by willingly making himself an enemy of what once he stood for like a loyal dog – treachery has been mankind's most unforgivable crime since the dawn of time.

Kuzan was shaken out of his descending spiral by the sound of heavy footsteps trailing down the hall, growing steadily louder as they approached the heavy door that guarded his cell. Something jingled from outside of it, then came the rattling of keys against the metal, Kuzan winced and grit his teeth as it was forced open with a loud screeching noise, the wooden flooring below it scratched beyond repair from what seemed to be years of repeated damage. The person stepped into the cell, and the door made the same agony inducing noise as it was slammed shut. Kuzan tilted his head up to assess his visitor, begrudgingly and sluggishly slow, he was never good at feigning interest – facing the current circumstances, he just couldn't be bothered to try.

His gaze went up, up, and up. Like trying to search the eyes of a titan, Sakazuki's figure stood big and imposing inside the cramped room, making it seem even smaller. The look Sakazuki was giving him made his skin crawl with the need to hide, eyes as dark as whiskey at the bottom of the barrel – burning with hate, like a raging volcano. Kuzan tried to pull his chained arms to his front, succeeding only on making the sea-stone dig further into his back.

“You,” Kuzan sighed heavily, eyes falling shut in a hopeless attempt of escapism, interactions with Sakazuki were always unbelievably draining, and he was already exhausted. “What do you want?”

“Watch your fucking tone around me, scum,” Sakazuki all but spat the words at him, lips pulled back in a grotesque snarl, exposing clenched teeth. “After the stunt you pulled, you should be thankful I'm being merciful enough to dignify you with a proper execution, instead of letting you sink with that joke of a ship.”

Kuzan let his head fall back until it thumped against the wall, only then opening his eyes again to stare at the ceiling. Once again he thought of himself as a lamb being led to the slaughter, only now, his neck was bared to the butcher. “How sweet. Didn't imagine you, of all people, to be so caring.”

“Don't get cheeky,” Sakauzki scoffed, approaching Kuzan with firm steps, Sakazuki shoves two fingers under the collar chaining Kuzan's neck and pulls. Kuzan is forcibly risen to his knees, coughing and sputtering as the pressure of the sea-stone combined with Sakazuki's force crushes his windpipe. “That tongue of yours is too loose for a man who'll be dead within the next few hours.”

Being on his knees in front of Sakazuki brought back memories that felt centuries old, times of conflicting feelings and troubled relationships, because there never was a resemble of normalcy between the two. Like cats and dogs, always lunging at each other's throats – engaging in hurried, no-strings-attached flings in deserted hallways kept them from tearing each other apart. Kuzan can tell that Sakazuki's mind must be straying as well, being eye-level with the growing bulge in the older male's pants.

“Did you come here to say goodbye?” Kuzan asks, a cheeky hint of smugness in his tone, lips quirking into a fleeting ghost of a smirk. The ridges of Sakazuki's neck became dangerously pronounced at the provocation, square jaw visibly tensed, but instead of denying – the older male squeezes his bulging cock with his free hand.

“To remind you that the only thing you were ever good for was being my bitch,” Sakazuki let go of Kuzan's collared neck with a careless shove, hands moving to unbuckle his belt. Unzipping his pants and tugging them down along with his boxers to fit snug under his balls. Sakazuki pumps himself to full hardness, swiping a thumb over his tip and smearing precum up and down the thick shaft. “You know what to do.”

Kuzan leans forward to dip his tongue at the weeping slit, earning a sharp exhale from the other man, Sakazuki twitches against his tongue and Kuzan is eager to take the first inch of his cock into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down to take a feel of it. Hollowing his cheeks, Kuzan works his tongue on the underside of Sakazuki's cock to trace the sensitive vein that runs along his shaft, snorting when the older male bucks his hips and groans. Still got it.

“Did you put that mouth to work while on that disgrace of a crew?” Sakazuki growls, taking a fistful of Kuzan's hair to pull the man further down his cock, crushing Kuzan's nose on his pelvic bone. Kuzan shoots him a heated glare from under his lashes, Sakazuki scoffs. One hand tightly tangled on Kuzan's hair, serving as leverage for the older male to fuck his mouth, while the other wrapped itself around his neck, thumb pressing down to feel the outline of his dick bulging through the other's throat. “Wouldn't surprise me, knowing how much you love to choke on a dick.”

Kuzan scrapes his teeth along the shaft in response, making Sakazuki hiss and rip Kuzan off his cock. Kuzan takes a deep inhale, grimacing when it immediately starts to burn in his lungs. “You jealous?”

“You wish,” Sakazuki barked, giving himself a few rough pumps before kicking Kuzan in the chest to make him lie down, Kuzan bites back a pained groan as his skull hits the ground with an unnecessary amount of force, he isn't spared a second to recover – as Sakazuki's hands immediately fly over to his pants, tearing through the fabric to expose his hole to the room's stale air.

Sakazuki lets saliva pool in his mouth before lowering his head to spit a fat glob onto Kuzan's winking rim, wasting no time on pushing it in with the leaking tip of his cock. Kuzan grit his teeth and scrunched his eyes shut – saliva was a terrible substitute for lube in any scenario, but especially this one, where Sakazuki only made sure to get his dick wet enough to prevent chafing. The first few inches felt like they were ripping him apart, chopped clean in the middle like a log, Sakazuki threw his head back with a deep groan as his length sank into Kuzan. Kuzan let out a long exhale when Sakazuki finally bottoms out after what seemed like forever. “Fucker.”

Sakazuki only granted him a self satisfied smirk as he pulled out slowly, until he could barely see the tip of his dick inside Kuzan's hole, then slamming back in with a downright punishing force. Ripping out a shout from Kuzan.

Sakazuki immediately fell into rhythm, harsh and cruel thrusts that punched the air out of Kuzan lungs, bullying his prostate and making his eyes roll to the back of his head. The heat of Sakazuki's scorching palms digging into his hips drove him crazy, along with the dizzying pain that watered down into masochistic pleasure – chest to chest, looking into each other's with the same raging urge to bite and scratch and claw at the other from so many years ago, Sakazuki's sharp brown melting onto Kuzan's plain back.

Their mouths clashed into an animalistic kiss with more teeth than tongue, snarls and broken moans melding in the same breath, Sakazuki bit his lip and sucked at the cut – Kuzan clenched around Sakazuki like a vice when the taste of his own blood hit his tongue.

He didn't regret a damn thing.

[the-whispers-of-death]

more titbits about my ocs

Hazzard became radio active due to an unfortunate stint in Chernobyl. the merc group was getting paid hella cash to hunt down some people and said people didn't want to get caught so they booked it in a random direction that just happened to be radioactive. the groups commander was the type of man to care more for results and money than his soldiers so he ordered them to advance anyway (while they had no protective gear against the radiation) Hazzard in all his wisdom went after them and of course got their asses but spent just a little too long in there and the radiation got him. now he didn't really get sick or anything (i have an au where he got cancer from it and that's the reason Romanas joined tf 141, to pay for treatment) but the radiation stayed on him. the thing that saved him was probably his height (205 cm) and density (man is built like a brick tank). Romanas, who was on the mission with him spent three days throwing up from the radiation (and stress from almost loosing Hazzard but he won't tell anyone that). Johan made fun of him. so yeah it's not fully fleshed out and i might rework it but that's the main idea on how Hazzard became radioactive (there's also a version where it happens because of a lab accident but idk because most of Hazzards backstory is a lab lol)

now Void is a different egg. you see i have the "now" and "after" of his story figured out but the "before" is beyond me. i was of the mind that the fact i don't have much of a backstory for him only adds to the whole "nobody knows anything about him" bit. i was planning on making him a lab experiment gone rouge (since commander did find him in the woods eating a deer carcass. after that the guy just appeared in the groups base) but idk about that. what i am certain on is that his tongue and vocal chords were removed surgically. who did it and why we may never know (i have like two certain story points for his backstory but i think the lack of it kind of adds to it y'know? he's Void just Void nobody knows anything about him)

also Selga trying to feed people has everything to do with the fact that food depravation was a common punishment under commanders rule so literally everyone in that group has food anxiety

also all of my ocs are very touch starved and very cuddly with eachother but they hate outsiders touching them or who they consider "theirs" (if they accept you be prepared for hesitant and testy touches and if you allow it or encourage it you'll have several grown men laying down on you like you're a bed, grumbling into your ear while they nuzzle your cheeks and under your chin) they also take group naps in cuddle piles. sleep is very important to them due to some stuff with..... "training" so sleeping and napping is among their favorite things to do once commander is no longer in charge

Since I've gotten so much information, this response probably won't be lengthy. But know that I adore what you've typed.

Stone was originally an OC where no one was supposed to know much about him (I still think Johnny & Gaz don't know too much about him) but then I got excited about his backstory and told literally everyone. So I'm rocking with the fact that not much is known about Void's backstory.

Selga trying to feed people because they all have food anxiety hurts me deeply. I hope the commander's dead. He deserves to be dead.

We love cuddle piles here, The Lions share barracks because they like to cuddle.

[just-a-broken-person]

I made this profile with the hope of apologising to one specific person for things I did and lies I told.

My apology was in no means the best but I had one chance and blew it. The truth is that my name is Jason and I live in the UK. In 2022 I created a profile using someone else pictures as I have been confined to a wheelchair for the past 10 years with a severe disorder called MS.

I used this profile to speak to people and mainly women to get attention. I know now that I hurt and manipulated people. I made people feel horrible and did damage that is irreversible. I'll never be able to apologise enough for this, and I wish more than anything I could take it back. Unfortunately, I can't do this. I can't do anything to make what I did better in any way. My intentions were never to hurt anyone bit I know I did.

The way I acted and treated people was appalling and I'm now even more ashamed of who I am than ever before. Melissa if you ever read this I'm so sorry. I know you'll never believe this but you were the one person I truly felt a bond with even if what I told you was fake. I'll regret hurting you more than anything I've ever done in my life.

Thats not to mean that I'm not deeply sorry to every other women I spoke to and treated badly. None of you deserved that.

I have no other outlet to put all this down besides this post. I won't be directly contacting anyone again.

The final thing I want to say is that the past year since this stopped has been a steep slope and I take it as karma for me. My condition has gotten worse and I have been diagnosed with bowel cancer. My final wish was to in some way give closure to the people I hurt during that period of time but I now see that trying to talk to people again would cause even more hurt.

I've decided to take my own life today. This was an easy choice and given the person I've become and my conditions going on much longer is not what's ment to be.

Im sorry for everything.

J

[a-study-in-crime]

Six People Were Found Guilty of Murders That Never Happened

The murders

There are seldom brutal crimes committed in Iceland, but one of the few cases in Icelandic history is truly astonishing. Six people were convicted of two murders in 1980, but it is unclear whether the murders even happened.

This story begins in early 1974. 18-year-old Guðmundur Einarsson was walking home on the night of 26 January after having spent the night partying. He was, according to witnesses, heavily intoxicated, and he intended to go to his parents' house. However, Guðmundur never made it to his childhood home. No one knew what had happened to Guðmundur, but many people speculated that he had frozen to death, which is unfortunately quite common in the Nordic countries. No one ever saw Guðmundur again, and life moved on for the citizens in the area.

In November 1974, another man went missing. His name was Geirfinnur Einarsson (he was not related to Guðmundur), and he was 32 years old at the time of his mysterious disappearance. Geirfinnur seemed to live a typical family life with his wife and kids, but the marriage was slowly but surely deteriorating. Geirfinnur's wife had had several affairs, which she informed the police about when they questioned her regarding her husband's disappearance. Geirfinnur's car was found shortly after he went missing, but there was no trace of Geirfinnur. According to witnesses, Geirfinnur had received a phone call shortly before he went missing, and the phone call greatly upset him.

The police started investigation Geirfinnur's disappearance, but they had questionable priorities. It was noted that Geirfinnur's wife's lovers could have abducted and killed Geirfinnur since they had a motive. However, instead of following these leads, the police decided to travel to Jordania with Geirfinnur's wife. They had contacted a medium who claimed that she could tell the police where Geirfinnur was. However, this did not help the investigation.

Sævar Ciesielski was a petty criminal living with his 18-year-old girlfriend, Erla Bolladóttir. Both Sævar and Erla committed fraud against the Icelandic postal service, and Sævar was trying to smuggle marijuana to Iceland. The police were familiar with Sævar since he had been previously involved in other crimes. In 1975, Sævar and Erla were arrested for fraud. However, the interrogations would lead to a far more serious confession than to fraud. The investigators showed Erla a picture of Guðmundur and asked her if she recognized him. She informed the police that Guðmundur had been an acquaintance of hers and that she had a nightmare on the same night he went missing. Erla had dreamt about hearing voices outside her window, and she thought that they were criminals whom Sævar knew. The police came up with a theory; Erla's dream was perhaps not a dream at all and that it was actually a repressed memory of Sævar and his friends killing Guðmundur. Erla was interrogated constantly for weeks, and she finally signed a confession written by the investigators. Erla confessed to seeing Sævar and his friends cover up a dead human body with a sheet in her apartment. Sævar was also questioned, and he was informed about what Erla had told the police. Sævar confessed to being in his and Erla's apartment with Guðmundur the night he disappeared. Sævar told the police that he and two friends had gotten into a heated argument with Guðmundur and that they had accidentally beaten him to death. Sævar's accomplices were interrogated and they also confessed to getting into a fight with Guðmundur.

The story does not end here. Erla was released after her confession, but the police were soon knocking on her door once again. They showed her a photograph of Geirfinnur and asked her if Sævar had anything to do with his disappearance. Erla, who now was convinced that she had repressed traumatic memories, told the police that Sævar had told her that he was involved in the mysterious disappearance. Erla was once again brought to the police station, and she confessed to shooting Geirfinnur. Sævar and four friends of his confessed to being involved in Geirfinnur's supposed death, but their stories did not match. As mentioned, Erla claimed that she had killed Geirfinnur, but Sævar claimed that he was the killer. Their stories also changed over time; sometimes they told the police that Geirfinnur had been shot, other times they said that he had been drowned or stabbed to death.

Trial and aftermath

Despite the lack of evidence, such as the fact that Guðmundur's and Geirfinnur's bodies hadn't been found, Sævar, Erla, and their accomplices were tried in court in 1980. Erla, as well as two of the accomplices, were found not guilty of murder. However, Erla was found guilty on another minor charge. Sævar and two of the accomplices named Kristján Viðar and Tryggvi Rúnar were found guilty of murdering Guðmundur Einarsson. Sævar, Kristján and another man named Guðjón Skarphéðinsson were found guilty of murdering Geirfinnur Einarsson. Most of them received shorter prison sentences, but Sævar and Kristján were sentenced to 17 and 16 years in prison.

The investigation has since been heavily criticized. Since the suspects were interrogated for hours on end, were placed in solitary confinement for as long as two years, and were subjected to sleep deprivation and torture, most people believe that Sævar, Erla, and their friends signed false confessions to put an end to their suffering. There was also, as mentioned before, no evidence suggesting that the murders had even taken place. The bodies were never found and there was no forensic evidence suggesting that any of the convicts had murdered anybody.

Sævar and Erla had a daughter together shortly before Erla confessed to the killings. After being released, Sævar lived on the streets and abused drugs for the remainder of his life. He died in 2011. Tryggvi Rúnar died in 2009 of cancer. The whereabouts of the others are unknown. However, everyone who was charged, except Erla, was acquitted of all charges in 2018.

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

ok let’s talk SUNSCREEN

SO the UV filters available in the US can at this point be considered truly terrible. One of the main reasons you’re supposed to reapply sunscreen every two hours is that many of the filters we use are destroyed by the very UV radiation they are designed to block. Killed in the line of duty, thank you for your sacrifice, etc. Counterpoint: sunscreen is gross and reapplying it every two hours is the worst. I am not doing that. Fortunately, Europe and Japan/Korea have been much quicker to approve newly developed more stable UV filters for use and at this point they have some really good ones. They also have much better UVA protection, both because of the better filters available and better labeling regulations.

A quick simplified summary: UVB causes sunburns, is directly absorbed by DNA strands which causes the mutations that lead to skin cancer, SPF measures protection against this only. UVA does more generic damage, creates free radicals associated with aging, wrinkles, collagen loss, pigmentation, etc. etc., but can also contribute to immunosuppression and therefore skin cancer. It’s more complex than this obviously but that’s not really the point of this post.

My sunscreen criteria: I hate wearing sunscreen. However, Accutane + sun = an extremely bad time. My ideal sunscreen is something that doesn’t feel disgusting to wear so I will wear it regularly in the first place (i.e. dry-touch), something I ideally don’t have to reapply super often under normal daily use (i.e. photostable UV filters, water-resistant when necessary), and has maximum protection. As long as I’m wearing it, I also want as much UVA protection as I can find, without compromising the former criteria.

Note: The sunscreens I tried are almost all chemical UV filters and several are loaded with alcohol, so if that upsets your skin then proceed with caution/ask me for a specific rec!

Note 2: All of these are SPF50+ (the highest rating allowed in the EU (meaning they tested at at least SPF60) unless otherwise specified *cough*Supergoop*cough*)

Best Face: Kao Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence (x)

Best feel, best protection, best price point. This gets recommended everywhere for a reason. Bit of a silicone feel on the face. No white cast. Smells like alcohol at first. Really, really quality daily face sunscreen. Water resistant. Caveat that because of the alcohol I would make sure to throw a layer of moisturizer on beforehand to make sure I’m not totally drying myself out.

Also make sure you get the name exactly right, there’s a blah blah Watery Gel that’s totally different consistency, totally different filters, etc. etc. It has to be Watery Essence.

Best Body: Eucerin Sun Sensitive Protect Dry Touch Sun Gel-Cream (x)

This was a sleeper hit, so shout-out to Eucerin for the greatest body sunscreen I’ve ever tried. This stuff is SO protective and dries SO. DAMN. DRY. Zero grease somehow, feels like nothing. It’s even water resistant. I tried a couple LRP body sunscreens but they honestly aren’t worth mentioning. Eucerin or bust babey!

More Face Sunscreens:

I’ve also tried all top five sunscreens from this Stylevana listicle of Asian face SPF (x). The thing about face sunscreens that they’ve started doing is loading them up with silicones and acrylate polymers, which leaves a silicone-y feel on your skin like a makeup primer. As far as I can tell from poking through various patents, these polymers are doing a few things in the formula: a) emulsifying/stabilizing the newer/bigger UV filter molecules, and creating an occlusive layer over the UV filter molecules on the skin to a) improve water resistance and b) reduce eye stingy-ness. At first I thought I wanted to avoid these seemingly unnecessary additives but considering their function, these are all features I want/need in a face sunscreen so we’re living with them.

1. Shiseido - Anessa Perfect UV Sunscreen Skincare Milk: really good, sliiight white cast but absolutely no streaks, more like a foundation just a hair too light for my skin tone. However I can’t imagine buying this because #2 on the list is better and 1/3 the price. Medium silicone feel. Something I’d probably only break out for when I went to an outdoor summer wedding.

2. Kao - Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence: I have already sung its praises.

3. MISSHA - All Around Safe Block Essence Sun Milk: closest to a US milky/greasy sunscreen experience here, though very fluid and still absorbs nicely. No silicone feel. Not a bad choice but nothing special.

4. Canmake - Mermaid Skin Gel UV: probably second favorite after Biore. Similar, bit less of a silicone feel. I’ve gotten red a couple times using this though, possibly because less silicone feel = no layer of protection against sweat/physically rubbing off? I bet this would be perfect under makeup though, it’s super light.

5. COSRX - Aloe Soothing Sun Cream: SO moisturizing, almost a dewy feel that sits on your skin and never dries. I wanted to love her, but unfortunately she is so loaded with the aforementioned polymers that when you reapply/put the appropriate amount on to begin with, it completely gums up and pills and you lose all protection. Also definitely not water resistant. Probably my top pick for a winter daily face sunscreen that I wouldn’t ever be worrying about reapplying though.

Other Contenders:

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Invisible Fluid (x) and Bioderma Photoderm Max Milk (x)

These two bad boys have the highest rated UVA protection currently on the market, 46 PPD for La Roche-Posay and 42 PPD for Bioderma. The LRP is extremely watery (technically alcohol-y) and comes in a teeny bottle(though same size as a lot of these I guess) but it is The Best UVA protection money can buy. The texture is really nice too, and feels super water resistant. If I’m outside sweating or on the water in the summer, this is going on my face. I've also seen it on sale multiple times since I’ve started researching sunscreens (because it’s extremely popular) so you can definitely find it in the $0.30/mL-or-less tier if you keep an eye out.

This Bioderma is cheaper and also extremely protective (thanks Helena @bronyraurmp3 for the rec!) but unfortunately it stung both my and Mr T’s eyes like a BITCH. Extremely unpleasant experiences for both of us. TBH if I’m out in midday sun, swimming or kayaking or something, I’m gonna be wearing a long-sleeved UPF rashguard to protect my arms and upper body and not worrying too much about whatever cheap greasy sunscreen I put on my legs. This Bioderma stuff would be going on my neck, ears, and hands though bc it’s super water resistant.

Eucerin Sun Sensitive Protect Mattifying Fluid : bit of a white cast, really slippy texture going on and nice dry touch texture when it dried down, but drying down took foreeever. Probably really nice if you’re sensitive and pale.

Eucerin Sun Oil Control Gel-Cream Dry Touch : VERY matte and dry-touch, would have loved it if I hadn’t gotten burned using it (doesn’t have all the newest most stable UV filters). Approaching the expensive end of things too, but would be a lovely option if you really prioritize non-greasiness and don’t need the premium protection? Mr T really liked using it on his bald head lol.

Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen SPF40 (US): This is recommended many places but it has to be a joke that people are actually paying Shiseido Anessa prices for old American UV filter selection, only SPF 40, and no UVA rating to speak of, right??? (ok they do have a PA+++ rating meaning a PPD of 8-16, so. this is acceptable.) I did not test this one but damn wtf. The texture is probably nice though and it looks perfectly sheer in the photos on their website, so maybe as a last resort for darker skintones that show a white cast with everything else? At that price tho... you do you but damn.

Jigott Snail UV Sun Block : This had good reviews on Yesstyle but it sucked. White streaks, bad.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Ultra-Light Tinted Mineral Sunscreen SPF60 (US): Another in the outdoor-wedding only price range. There’s a tinted and a non-tinted mineral version and I ended up mixing them together to get a shade that looked pretty good on me, but needing two bottles for that puts it in the extremely ridiculous price category. Really slippy nice texture that takes a bit to dry but dries down perfectly matte. I guess the person who wants to shell out for a high end all-mineral tinted sunscreen exists somewhere out there but I would bet there are many nice cheaper mineral options out there that I haven’t tried.

And that’s it! For EU sunscreens, I was able to order them on caretobeauty.com, and Japanese/Korean ones from yesstyle.com or stylevana.com, though I had to go to eBay for the Biore and Anessa. I ordered some Biore from a seller on Amazon but they shipped from Japan and I think they got taken by customs because the last known location on the tracking info is Chicago, so finding a seller in the US that has already imported them seems like a good idea (vendor lullabellabeauty on eBay worked great for me, fwiw, I will definitely order my Biore from there in the future).

If you have specific questions about any of these, or if you have any recs you think I should try, hmu! You will be shocked I’m sure to hear I have a whole sunscreen database at this point.

[thebibliosphere]

if you have the time and capacity I would greatly appreciate some chronic health advice! I'm also someone who deals with the clusterfuck of problems that is MCAS (and POTS and EDS and immune deficiency...) and I'm wondering what drew you to an organic diet to treat MCAS? its really hard for me to find reliable information on if and why it works, but I've seen several mentions within the MCAS community about it.

I've been Struggling to keep my MCAS symptoms in check, and they keep escalating (severe asthma flares, burning in my mouth while consuming things, and bleeding sores suddenly appearing in my mouth and taking forever to heal, along with all the typical MCAS symptoms just short of anaphylaxis) so at this point I'm willing to try anything that might help 😭 I do have an allergy/immunology doctor, but a lot of their focus lately has been trying to treat my immune deficiency, so I haven't gotten much info on how to handle this. any advice or info you can point me towards would be greatly appreciated.

So, I was prescribed an all organic diet by my allergist before we new I had MCAS because during a bout of testing to try and figure out what the hell was going on, I had two different skin reactions to corn. One was organic corn, and my body was completely fine. The other was regular corn and my body broke out in hives. I wasn’t told which was which, or even what they were testing, in order to prevent any possible psycho symptomatic reactions. My then allergist, who I honestly miss cause he was way more competent and 💯% less of an ass than the one I have now, looked at that, looked at all my other problems and went “well that’s weird”, and summarily prescribed me an all organic diet to see if it would help.

It did, and it was concluded that my body was reacting to the minute trace amounts of synthetic pesticide (probably glysophate) found in non-organic foods. I emphasize synthetic, because organic foods still use organic pesticides, which are also not that great for the environment or people due to lack of FDA regulation, but when your choices are death now or potential cancer in 40 years, you take what you can get. He also hypothesized that because I grew up in the UK/Europe where pesticide use in general is more heavily regulated, as are preservatives, that that was also what was making me ill.

Some five years later and we fast forward to now, and we do indeed know that pesticides and preservatives can be mast cell disorder triggers. Even more natural ways of preserving foods (like fermenting) can be a mast cell dysfunction trigger due to histamine intolerance. The more you know 🌈 ⭐️

Which is also something to consider. Not everyone with MCAS has histamine intolerance, just like how not everyone with HIT has MCAS, but the two often go hand in hand. If you haven’t tried a low histamine elimination diet, it might be worthwhile to see if it helps. I do urge caution though, as a low histamine diet is extremely dangerous long term due to lack of nutrients, and it should ideally be done under the guidance of a doctor for no more than 4 weeks. I was left on a low histamine diet for almost two years by a negligent doctor, and almost starved to death. Also with things like MCAS and HIT the goal is to gradually build your list of tolerated foods back up, not to keep eliminating them, as that is the only way to heal. You need to get your body to a good baseline for healing, then try to get as much nutrients back into your diet as possible. And before anyone jumps in to recommend feeding tubes as they’ve done in the past: feeding tubes should be an absolute last resort when all other options have been exhausted. They are also no guarantee against anaphylaxis and have other complications that can be fatal, so it is imperative to try and avoid them at all costs.

With an HIT diet and competent medical supervision, I’ve gone from being able to eat 2 things to 21 in the last year. Still not a huge amount, but it’s huge progress for me, considering my body was reacting to tap water at one point. Still does sometimes, so I recommend looking into filters that remove trace amounts of chlorine from the water, for both drinking and bathing. You can get shower filters that attach to the head for like $30 and it can help with skin reactions/eczema like symptoms. I do not recommend full house systems that filter via the pipes, as the treatments used in water are actually essential for preventing things like pipe corosion or mold build up, but filtering from the faucets/shower heads is a good idea.

Which brings me onto things like skin products and household items. With MCAS, there can be any number of things that trigger us that in turn make our bodies primed to react to everything and anything we put into it. A lot of household cleaners, especially scented things, are mast cell dysfunction triggers. Tide washing detergent, for example, absolutely murders my throat if I breathe the scent in. We had friends come to stay recently to help with our basement demolition, and the smell of their laundry detergent made my throat swell and my eyes burn. It also helped me realize that yeah, actually, switching to all free and clear products for all of our household needs has Substantially reduced my overall reactions, including to foods. I now avoid anything scented, yes including essential oils, because essential oils can be triggers for anyone, not just folks with mast cell issues. Natural doesn’t mean safe. Nor does it mean shit to MCAS where some people can eat potato chips just fine, but can’t eat healthier things like fruit or veg because our mast cells have gone wonky and mistake certain proteins for allergies, whether we have a true IgE allergy or not.

Unfortunately, this does mean we end up incredibly deficient in many vitamins and nutrients, and supplements are necessary for our survival and recovery. Re: the mouth sores and bleeding, if no one has tested your b12 levels along with a homocysteine test, get that done asap. I had mouth sores for up to six months before we found out I had severe pernicious anemia and was on the verge of death. Low folate and low iron can also cause tongue/mouth burning, and those things go hand in hand with b12 deficiency. (And most foods that are high in b12 are often off-limits to people with HIT/MCAS. EDS also means we don’t absorb them as well from the gut, so it’s a good thing to check regardless) if it's not that, try looking at things like your toothpaste/mouthwash. Try avoiding toothpaste with SLS in them; see if that helps. Sensodyne is a good brand that makes an effort to avoid SLS but double-check the ingredients. I can't use any mouthwashes, so I make a point of doing salt water rinses when I remember. Some people also use oil pulling as an alternative to conventional mouthwash.

Unfortunately, MCAS is one size fits no one disorder, so the only way to get a handle on it is to find out what works for you. It makes things very overwhelming, but I hope some of the above is helpful and proves useful to you. Best of luck, and if you've got any more questions hmu, I'll try to help where I can 💖

[morebedsidebooks]

Spotlight 2021: Yamashita Tomoko

Looking back on 2021 and Japanese comics one of my favourite artists, Yamashita Tomoko, has had a what I’d call a good year. With recent releases of older titles overseas, adaptations in both film and anime, new audiences are discovering her name and work. While a creator who has been delivering exciting work across genres for over 15 years now, it is Yamashita’s boys’ love titles which have gotten the most attention by English licensors. (The defunct JManga service so far was the only company to offer examples outside that genre by Yamashita with Don't Cry, Girl and Mo'some Sting.) Too North American publishers have predominantly chosen to release these comics in a digital-only fashion unfortunately. I hope that will change, along with more examples of what Yamashita has to offer readers following in the future. (Publishers in Europe are another matter. Check out translations in several languages if you can.) So, if one finds their interest now piqued, or are a longtime fan like me, here is a list of all her currently available (BL) comics translated in English.

  Yamashita’s English debut came in 2009 courtesy of publisher Netcomics who delivered two of her comics in both print and digital. (And btw if you know Japanese both further have BLCDs).

Dining Bar Akira (2007)

This lively drawn comic about two quarreling restaurant workers with a six-year age gap (26 & 32) has them feeling out (often literally) their romantic and sexual relationship. The book also includes two shorter comics. ‘Foggy Scene’ with a highschooler keeping a few secrets including his love for a friend. And ‘Riverside Moonlight’ where a 27-year-old gay man finds himself attracted to the 30-year-old teddy bear like coworker at a printing company. Translated by Soyoung Jung. (cw: homophobic slur, physical abuse, sexual content, student/teacher)

 Black-winged Love (2008)

This is a collection of seven moody shorter comics, heightened by effervescent backgrounds and contrasts, the title chapter taking its name from a particularly masochistic young man’s concept of his fetishes. Several other chapters revolve around family from different perspectives and being gay, along with youthful summer love, two friends of twenty years finding their relationship with each other coming to a head, and experimenting through a glib male escort. Translated by Soyoung Jung.  (cw: homophobic slurs, violence, blood, terminal cancer, sexual content, mention of suicidal thoughts, rape)

  The Digital Manga Guild initiative was a beleaguered project of its likewise parent Digital Manga Inc. (Don’t get me started.) However, I would be remiss to not mention among the catalogue the following two titles released back in 2012. (Again, if you know Japanese both further have BLCDs).

I Want a Love Story (2008)

A tender collection of four comics using a lighter touch, the title story concerning a man who unexpectedly finds his feelings reciprocated leading to the start of a first romance. Additional chapters have a lost love seen through a man’s niece, a belated valentine’s confession, and a gay man who unintentionally finds out his salaryman crush is a serious masochist. Localized by group Defiant Endeavors LT. Localized by group Defiant Endeavors LT. (cw: homophobic slur, sexual content)

 Yes, It’s Me (2009)

Delivering a varied collection of six comics in a sketchier style, the funny title story featuring a narcissistic vice president of a company realizing he has room for more than just himself when it comes to love. Other chapters run the gamut from art students and first love, the cruel jealousy overflowing in a young man joining his secret crush in a search for their absent female classmate, two musicians in an orchestra one who teases the other towards a love confession, likes and dislikes between two people, and a piece on gender and sexuality. Localized by group Sinister Hands. (cw: homophobic slurs, rude questions about being trans, mentions of rape, possible death, suicide)

   In 2015 Sublime Manga, the premier boys’ love publisher in English, nabbed the global digital license to the longer paranormal comic series The Night Beyond the Tricornered Window (2013-2021). With 2021 seeing multiple adaptations of this work, I earlier this year did a full-length post here.

  For 2021 digital BL subscription service Futekiya added three volumes of Yamashita’s comics, two based on new editions to their library. (Lists of the localizaton credits are available on their site where you can also read the first chapters for free.)

Illumination  (2007/2018)

This collection of five comics revolves around friends or classmates from different perspectives and attraction with a theme of distance and separation. The title comic presented in alternating three parts with a lonely man who meets a gay bartender while hung up on his oblivious childhood friend. It also notably includes Yamashita’s debut, the yakuza story ‘God’s Name is Night’. Offering a window on the kinds of interesting composition of the comics Yamashita can produce. (cw: alcohol, bullying, homophobia, blood, death, grief, sexual content, mention of car accident)

 Je t’aime, café noir (2009/2015)

Another fine collection, the title chapter features the myriad dramas of patrons and employees at a cafe. Six further chapters contain co-workers with seemingly mismatched personalities, old classmates encountering each other resurfacing hurt and feelings of the past, a timid gamer trying to articulate a love confession and apologise for a sudden drunken kiss, the pleasure and love in cooking and sharing meals with someone special, an eccentric gay neighbor who hasn’t completely let go of the man who left him, and a people watching train conductor startled by the appearance of his first love.  (cw: bullying and homophobic slurs)

 Snip, Snail & Puppy Dog Tails (2012-2013)

An affecting and uniquely charted nonlinear one-volume friends-to-lovers comic showcasing little moments in the lives of its two working adult protagonists and their indistinct relationship. Yamashita's art shines here too in its softness, even quiet panels expressing so much. (cw: brief sexual content)

[satsangat]

May 15, 2021 – Astrotransits

Saturn prepares to station. In fact, Saturn has been planted at 13º♒️ since April 28, 2021, turns retrograde May 23 at 13º 31’ and only moves to 12º on June 18! If you have planets or points at 13º of the Fixed Signs, you’ve already experienced his discipline one way or another.

A stationary planet manifests its symbolism more strongly, like a highlighted sentence in the text. Now Saturn has ‘translated’ into the human behavior as making some people in high positions of authority, especially those old school leaders who see a risk of their positions threatened, digging their heels and taking extreme, often violent, measures to defend them.

However, with the present (and unprecedented) Astrology, their gestures are their death rattle. It wouldn’t be surprising that as soon as Saturn gains momentum in retrograde motion, the tension releases and their power crumbles. We will see the restrictions lifted up allowing more freedom of movement, something that people will taste with great pleasure. In the Northern Hemisphere especially because Summer is approaching, people feel more confident about going out and on vacation.

However, as an Astrologer, I have to warn you to use caution; do not lower your guard regarding your health protection. Jupiter in Pisces together with Neptune increases the risk of germ spread, and virus mutations. The increase of mutable energy makes also for adjustments, modification and adaptation of human behavior, habits and customs.

We can’t talk about Saturn retrograde without considering that he is in tight third quarter square with Uranus. Remember that Uranus' influence is stronger, because is slower and rules Aquarius. The newly understood sense (and right) of freedom among people, mainly but not limited due to the globality of communications and social media that has helped people acquire a better collective consciousness (while Uranus in Aries), has gotten stronger. People are ready to stand up for what is socially fair, and against the highly corrupt pyramidal societal and political paradigm.

Having Jupiter and Saturn conjunct in Aquarius has represented a major shift in the collective consciousness, now eager to enjoy or build a more horizontal and inclusive paradigm.

As the second square between Saturn and Uranus builds up and perfects by June 14, 2021, the tension between the old system and the need to shake free, intensifies. In addition, during the Eclipse Season Mars opposes Pluto, which makes a great ‘soup’ for violent confrontations especially between the authoritarian regimes (Capricorn) and groups who fight for their families, children, homeland's safety, and sense of belonging to a certain territory (Cancer). In one form or another, the already started wars will escalate, and brewing conflicts may explode. Especially vulnerable (Chiron in Aries) will be those sectors of society (refugees, LGBTQ, migrants, disabled), ethnicities, special groups, countries, that have been relegated, rejected, denied existence or denied the occupation of a space.

Unfortunately, we enter now a period of increased turmoil with severe economic consequences around the world that may only clear up by 2024 as I predicted in many instances before. Brace yourself and keep safe as best as possible.

Sat Nam.

Saturn EATS his children: the Myth symbolizes the challenge human beings face to become adults, responsible, mature, disciplined, and leave behind childish behavior.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Some Assorted Anon Answers! New Chapter for TB&TB 🐇will be out tomorrow (4/29) at 9PM UTC!

(I have more, but I cannot answer them all right now)

1. This made me so happy. I'm always worried that I get less interaction or that people dislike this format. I know it's not the easiest thing in the world to read them all (since you have to bounce back and forth). But I really hate the idea of spamming everyone's feeds. That's why I try to limit myself to five posts a day. That, and I get shadowbanned very easily.

I hope you're having a wonderful day, too! Thank you for the kind words! You really didn't have to say anything, so I really appreciate that you took time out of your day to say something nice.

2. [TB&TB Spoilers, NSFW] First of all, the fact you did the math for this is admirable and touching. I love you. Second, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that is not what happens in Chapter 16! At least, not in the way you probably expect.

But, fret not. Trust me.

3. [NSFW] Heheh. I will say nothing until tomorrow after 9PM UTC.

4. Hi, friend! I'm looking for Diverse OCs. So, any OC that is not the typical short, skinny, pretty white girl, essentially (lmao). Feel free to send whatever! I'll probably add more groups as I find them (like someone sent me some about Abused!Reader and a Reader with cancer).

5. Yes! I've finally finished it. Unfortunately, one of my beta readers had something personal come up and I am SWAMPED at work for the next week, so it'll have to go up on Monday (5/3). Should be up then, though.

6. Awwwe, I'm glad to hear it. It really, honestly makes me sad to reject requests. I know people are just excited to see their daydreams turned to words (that's why I love writing, after all!). I really do try my hardest to find someone willing to take it. A lot of writers are desperately seeking requests, I have a surplus, and they will do a much better job than me.

I'm happy to share the love!!!

7. I admire the fuck outta you!!! Unfortunately I have bad experienced with MBTI thanks to an ex-boyfriend, lmao. I will also say that it's hard for systems, because we have gotten several types. It's almost never consistent. The host has been told she is an ENTP most often. I (Pom) usually get ISFJ.

Yeah. lmao. It makes sense, considering the host is a lawyer (Debator type) and I am a caretaker (Defender type).

That being said, I'm generally very critical of the roots of the MBTI tests. They were created by non-scientists and intended to be utilized purely for profit and corporate greed. But I know personality tests are just for fun, and I like to use them for character development sometimes!

Also, if you ask me, I think you're killing the Tumblr thing. I'm so glad you're here and I hope you continue to enjoy yourself for many days to come!

You truly matter, too ❤️

8. [NSFW] Ah! I am so excited for Fuzzy Pants!!! It's going to be so freaking cute!!!

9. I have absolutely no idea what this is in reference to, but I am honored, and I love you, too. 🥰

[prorevenge]

Coworker tried to get me fired over breast implants, so I pulled a reverse uno card.

4 years ago now, when I was 24, my mum died of breast cancer, and as both my grandmothers had also died of it I saw a specialist for a screening. I found out I had some cells in one of my breasts that could have turned cancerous at any given moment.

I was told I had a few options:

I could have regular screenings every 3 or 4 months until it does develop into cancer (I was told the risk of the cells becoming cancerous was very high due to family history) but it could also potentially never could turn so I'd just be getting these screenings for no reason

I could get a single mastectomy on the breast with the bad cells, but they'd need to keep an eye on the other one, so I'd still need regular checkups for the other breast

I could get a bilateral mastectomy and remove all of my breast tissue, basically eliminating the risk.

I went for the bilateral mastectomy. It was admittedly the most drastic option but after seeing what cancer did to my mum and grandmothers I didn't want to risk it.

I was warned about scarring but told it should be fairly minor. It wasn't and I was left with 2 huge, pink, jagged scars on either side of my chest, each about an inch long and half an inch wide, and it caused me to go into a severe depression, where it got to the stage of me not even leaving my flat because I didn't want people to see me, throwing out my mirrors, and getting physically sick looking at myself.

I went to a therapist, who suggested a plastic surgeon. The therapist said they'd never normally do that but it was clearly something I was struggling with and I might never get over it, and the therapist could see why I struggle with it. Although I'll admit the therapist did send me to ask about scar reduction. The plastic surgeon suggested a cream, a laser or implants. The cream didn't work, and the laser was both expensive and risky, so I went with the implants. My natural boobs were an F cup so I went with a slightly smaller DD. Since then my mental health has improved and I feel a lot better about the way I look. My confidence has gone up, as has my self esteem. I know I shouldn't put so much into my appearance but I wasn't exaggerating about these scars. Huge, bright pink, jagged, raised, just really awful to look at and I hated seeing myself, and they are now nicely hidden away and you can barely feel them.

​

In the present day, I'm 28 years old and working in an office. I'm doing a lot better than I was. My coworker, Jill, found out I'd had a boob job (but not about the cancer thing), when myself and my friend from years before the mastectomy were planning a holiday and she made a joke about me going on a plane with my implants, and Jill overheard. By the end of the day, the entire office knew I'd had a boob job, but not why, and half a dozen people confirmed Jill had told them.

Over the next few months Jill made many "jokes" and comments about my chest to coworkers when I was in earshot, at one point saying I had "more plastic than Barbie" and calling me "fake in two ways". I didn't hear this one myself but a friend in the office told me that Jill had at one point referred to me as a "sack of silicone".

IDK what her problem was exactly but at one point she mentioned the NHS so I assume Jill thought that I'd got my tits done for free on taxpayer money (I'd gotten the mastectomy on NHS but gone private for therapy and implants).

I asked her to stop more than once, but unfortunately the places I'd talked to her were places like the lift and the women's bathroom, where there weren't any cameras, and Jill just kept making comments no matter how often I asked her not to. I wouldn't say it was every single day, but I heard at least 3 comments per week for 3 months.

I hit my breaking point when me, Jill and a few other coworkers were having lunch, I referred to something as being shallow and Jill said "you'd know all about being shallow" while gesturing to my chest. I snapped.

I said "do you know why I have these? A few years ago the doctors found potentially cancerous cells in my breast tissue, I was advised to get a mastectomy and was left with huge ugly scars on my chest. I went to see a therapist who sent me to a cosmetic surgeon, who advised me to get implants to hide the scars, and I did just so I could look at myself in the mirror without crying. So maybe next time you want to judge someone for having cosmetic surgery, you should ask them why they had it first". And feeling like that was a mic drop moment I picked up my food and left.

For the rest of the day I had about 1/3 of my office come up to me and offer support, and the rest tell me that Jill was just joking around and I was being a bitch. I replied that Jill was being a bitch long before I was.

I then got an email from HR saying they wanted to talk to me the following day, and when I called for clarification they mentioned a "hostile work environment" (note: this is apparently an American term and holds little weight in England but it's what was said over the phone). I knew the person who signed off the email and I'd spoken to. Her name was Debbie, and she was Jill's friend in HR so I was fairly confident on who had reported me.

​

I realised that if this was already being sent to HR, I needed as much ammunition as possible, so I went about collecting my information.

As Debbie had dealt with me so far, it was safe to assume she would be the person reviewing the complaint with me, and if that was true I was fucked. However, I vaguely remembered a section on complaints that was in my contract when I first signed with the company. I flicked through the contract and there was a part in complaints section that said I was contractually allowed to request a change of reviewer if I felt my allocated reviewer was biased. It was called an "impartial overseer". I photocopied the page and highlighted that part.

Then I messaged the people who had offered their support over facebook, and said basically "HR have asked to see me. Do any of you remember Jill insulting me to your face and are you willing to write and sign something saying what you heard and when?". Not everyone was willing to help as Jill is somewhat feared in the office due to her befriending HR and management but about 20 people were willing to help me.

I guessed roughly when I'd asked Jill to stop previously (the 4 asks over the last few months, some timings were easy to guess as they'd happened on my break or when I'd first arrived at work) and I wrote them all down, along with a rough time of when the lunchroom confrontation happened and a list of names of who was there for the lunchroom confrontation.

​

I got to work slightly early the next morning. I went round everyone who had messaged me and most of them managed to give me a printed and signed letter (some didn't manage to write one but nbd). This isn't exact words as there's 16 letters to sum up here but the gist was:

"My name is [their name]. I work with Jill Lastname and OP. On [date] at [time] (approx), I spoke with Jill Lastname, during which she referred to OP as [quoted insult]. I felt this was inappropriate as it directly related to OP's appearance and am willing to go on record further to establish that Jill Lastname has been discussing OP in the workplace in the same manner for 3 months now, causing me discomfort and creating what I feel is a hostile work environment. Signed [their name]"

I wound up with about 16 letters, all from different people, and one of them was in the lunchroom for my conversation with Jill. Some even had bulletpointed lists of everything Jill had said to them about me or other people, as it turns out Jill has issues with a lot of people's appearances. She apparently made comments about one coworker's weight, and something antisemitic about a different coworker's nose, all of which were put in these letters. There are about 45 people in the office so while 16 wasn't a majority, it's still a decent amount. The letters weren't hugely long, most were only a paragraph, but they had all the necessary information.

​

I was asked to come to HR at 10am. I took the letters from coworkers, the photocopy of the page in my contract, and my dates and times in a little folder with me.

I got there and Debbie was the one overseeing the interview. She got up from her desk, ready to lead me into another room.

I immediately turned to the other HR worker that was currently there and said "so is my meeting with you, then?"

Debbie said "no, you're with me."

I replied that this wouldn't sit well with me, as "my contract states I have a right to an impartial overseer" and as I said this I took the contract page out of my folder. Debbie read it (I wouldn't let her take the paper when there was a shredder so close by) and said she could be impartial. I replied that I really didn't mean to be a pain, but I had it on good authority that the person on the other end of this complaint is her friend, and my contract does say I'm allowed an impartial overseer.

Debbie stomped off to get Supervisor. Supervisor asks how I know she can't be impartial and I tell him that I have it on good authority that the Jill, who was on the other end of this complaint, is a close friend of Debbie. He asked Debbie if this was true, to which she only replied "I can be impartial".

Supervisor took a deep breath, asked the other HR rep to come with him, and the four of us all went to review the complaint. I thanked them for being so accommodating (I was worried I'd annoyed them), Debbie took out the complaint and all 3 of them went through it with me. Debbie looked homicidal the whole time the interview was happening, as she had clearly anticipated firing me (or at least recommending me being fired).

​

The interview went something like this. It took like over half an hour and they kept asking me the same questions but phrased different ways so this is a really drastically condensed version.

Q: You said outside that you think Jill Lastname reported you. Why is this?

A: Jill has had an issue with me for about 3 months now

Q: Why didn't you come to us when you realised Jill had an issue?

A: I had no issue with her

Q: What issue does Jill have with you?

A: Four years ago a specialist identified potentially cancerous cells in my breast tissue. I had surgery to remove my breast tissue, thereby removing the cells and the risk. After the surgery I was left with large scars on my chest. I went to a therapist for low self esteem and depression. The therapist suggested a plastic surgeon who suggested breast implants to cover my scars. All of this is in my medical history which you have a copy of in my file and my full permission to review. Jill found out about my breast implants but didn't know about the cancer. Jill had a problem with my breast implants, and decided to communicate this problem to our coworkers.

Q: Why do you feel this is true?

A: Here's 16 signed statements all from different coworkers, all testifying that Jill told the entire office I'd had breast implants on the day she found out and has since made comments about these implants frequently. They have quotes of what Jill said to them about it and rough dates and times.

Q: Rough dates and times?

A: No one knew this would be escalated to such an extent so no one really took notes as and when it happened.

Q: What event or events do you think directly led to this complaint of harassment?

A: For me harassment began when Jill told everyone about my breast implants without my consent, but as to the complaint placed against me, it would probably be what happened at about [time] yesterday in the lunch room. Jill made a comment about me being shallow while gesturing to my breasts and I replied by giving her an abridged version of my relevant medical history and ending with a comment about the importance of getting the full story. There are cameras in the lunch room, so I'm sure you'll be able to find that conversation. I'll admit I could have handled the situation better, but after 3 months I felt I had to put my foot down. Here's a list of names of people who were also present. There were 6 people at the table, including myself and Jill. One of these people is also in those letters, and has written their account of the conversation and signed it.

Q: Had you had a conversation with Jill prior to this regarding her comments about you?

A: Several, spaced out over the last 3 months. Each time I communicated to her that I felt uncomfortable and upset with these comments she was making and would appreciate it if she were to stop.

Q: To your knowledge, was Jill made aware of your former cancer at any point in this time?

A: No. It wasn't mentioned in the conversation with my friend she overheard and I didn't tell her because frankly it's none of her business and I did not feel the need to detail my medical history to a coworker in order to avoid further sexual harassment.

Supervisor stands up and says "well I think we're done here". He shakes my hand and sends me back to my desk saying that I'd hear from them after they reviewed the evidence (letters, CCTV, medical history and anything they had already) and made a decision on the case.

​

I got back to my desk, pulled up my CV, and prepared to start the job search again.

About an hour goes by, then the person who wrote the letter and was there for the lunchroom conversation gets called for a meeting with HR. They come back 10ish minutes later.

The other people who were also there for the lunchroom conversation get called one by one, except Jill. All of them are gone for about 10 minutes then come back, find a coworker, and say that HR wants to see them.

Then the people who wrote letters but weren't there yesterday are also called one by one and are each gone for about 10 minutes each, some longer, some shorter. By about 3:30 it looks like everyone who wrote a letter or was there in the lunch room has been interviewed.

Then, finally, Jill gets called in. She's gone for about 30 minutes and comes back fuming. She glares at me while I work, but I ignore her.

4:30ish, Jill gets called into HR again. 5 pm rolls around, everyone is either leaving or getting ready to leave, when Jill storms back into the office. She glares at me the whole time she packs up her desk. She then starts telling anyone who will listen that I got her fired before shoving her way onto the lift.

An email comes in from HR. My case is closed.

(source) story by (/u/3240278189)

[quicksilversquared]

Of Growing and Miraculous Pranks

Ladybug has always been shorter than Chat Noir, and even though Marinette has grown- well, the height gap between them just keeps getting bigger. She hadn't given it any thought- well, much thought, at least- until things started not quite lining up properly.

Or: Marinette grows. Ladybug doesn't.

links in the reblog

Marinette had been Ladybug for four years, three months, and fifteen days when she started realizing that- well, that something a bit strange was going on.

Everything started when she caught wind of the- apparently quite common- perception that Ladybug wasn't a teenager as a lot of people had originally thought, but actually an adult. For some reason, though, people still saw Chat Noir as a teenager instead of assuming the same thing about him.

"I don't know why people would think that, Tikki," Marinette told her kwami that afternoon, after she had made her excuses with Alya and headed home from their group outing a little early to get a bit of homework done. "I mean, when we started out- well, it was pretty obvious that we weren't experienced, and that we were learning a lot, and then there was that stupid textbook, too, plus I was really short then. So maybe I wasn't happy that people had figured out that I'm a teenager, but it at least that assumption made sense!"

Tikki giggled. "Maybe it's the Miraculous magic that's interfering?" she suggested, the impish look on her face suggesting that she knew exactly what was going on but she wasn't going to tell. "At any rate, that's a good thing, right? People aren't thinking about someone your age when they try to figure out Ladybug's identity!"

"Ugh, I don't know," Marinette muttered, making a mental note to maybe look into the subject more later on. She honestly didn't keep up with the news about her and her partner much anymore- she had better things to do with her time, both in her normal life (unfortunately, superheroes still had homework and babysitting and commission deadlines) and the superhero one. That was why the whole we think Ladybug is actually an adult! had taken her by such surprise. "I mean, I guess, but does it really matter that much what the public thinks if Hawkmoth knows that the timers are a sign of a Miraculous holder not being an adult yet? It might throw Alya off of my trail a bit more, but- well, I've already done that, when I used the Fox to create a Mirage of Ladybug rescuing Marinette!"

Tikki giggled some more. "More confusion around your identities is always a good thing! Even if it's just one of the city's superhero reporters that doesn't think that it's possible for you to be the same person."

"Yeah, I guess." Marinette thought about it for another minute, then shrugged and pushed the thought away. She was far too busy to waste time wondering about inaccurate speculation and gossip about her superhero self. It wasn't as though it was doing anyone any harm, anyway. "I'll figure it out later. Tikki, can you pass me my Literature notebook? I want to finish all of this week's readings today. Then maybe I'll have enough time later in the week to tailor a couple of my outfits so that they fit me better."

"Okay, Marinette!"

"Ugh, Chat Noir, can you stop growing?"

Up ahead of her, Chat Noir snickered, shoving his hair back out of his face as he flashed a devilish look back at her. "Jealous, Bug? It's not my fault that I've actually grown and you- have you shrunk, maybe?"

"Ugh," Ladybug grumbled again, pushing herself forward as they raced across town towards a reported akuma. That was totally unfair. She had grown, surpassing her mom and keeping up with all of her friends. Maybe she wasn't the tallest out of them, but it wasn't as though she was dwarfed by Adrien and Nino or anything. Adrien was the tallest of her friends, even, and she came up to just around his nose, but with Chat Noir?

With his latest growth spurt, Ladybug would be lucky if the top of her head even managed to reach his shoulders. Her partner delighted in his towering height, making a big deal about teasing her about being able to reach things without jumping, or swinging herself up.

Not that it was exactly a big deal if she had to do that, of course. It wasn't hard. Besides, being small had its advantages! There was less surface area to get grabbed or hit by akumas, it was easier to wedge herself into hiding spots, she could slip into small spaces far more easily than her gangly partner...

...but still. It was the principle of the thing. She didn't exactly want to look like a child next to her ridiculously towering partner. Maybe the city had decided that she was actually the adult out of the two for some strange reason, but it would be nice to actually look the part.

(Her one condolence was that there were short adults, ones even shorter than her. She would have been super grumpy if she had stopped growing at her mom's height, since- well, Ladybug was pretty certain that no one would have taken her very seriously if even some école élémentair students towered over her.)

"My Lady?" Chat Noir asked after several minutes of running had passed. He had slowed down, Ladybug noted in the back of her mind, and she had subconsciously matched him. "You're quieter than usual. I don't actually think that you've shrunk!"

Ladybug had to laugh at that. "I know, kitty-cat. And I have grown, I swear! Just- just not to ridiculous-person heights," she added with a sniff, turning up her nose. "It's completely unnecessary."

Chat Noir snickered at that, his ears perking back up as his worry clearly dissipated. "Unnecessary? Do you want to know how useful that unnecessary height is in my civilian life? Why, just the other day, my friend's mom asked me to grab something from a high shelf so that she didn't have to get out the stepstool, and she called me a very helpful young man when I did!"

"I've heard that tall people have a higher risk of blood clots and cancer," Ladybug parried, hoping that she was actually remembering her reading for health class correctly. "And heart issues. I'd rather have to pull out a stool than have heart issues."

Chat Noir practically fell over as he laughed even harder. "I think you're making stuff up and evading! Cancer, really?"

"Am not!" Ladybug insisted, even though she was totally evading Chat Noir's point. Adrien had done something similar for her mom earlier in the week (and had been rewarded with a cookie, which he had been far too happy about), and Marinette had been thankful for his height and extra reach then. He helped her and Alya all the time with reaching books in the library, too, when there was something that they couldn't quite reach. It didn't happen often, necessarily- neither of the two girls were really short, just normal sized thank-you-very-much- but sometimes a book was just barely out of reach and it wouldn't be a good idea to try to pull it down because it could slip out of her grasp and hit her head and then knock her out and then she would get a concussion and fail her exams and-

Well. Anyway. It was probably a better idea to either ask for help or grab a stool instead of risking injury to herself or damage to the book.

"I hope you know that I'm looking that up when I get home," Chat Noir informed her. Then he snuck another glance at her, slowing down a touch more. At this rate, civilians were going to start complaining about the superheroes taking forever to get there.

Ladybug quirked an eyebrow at him. "What, kitty-cat?"

"You know, if your height bugs you that much, my Lady, Plagg told me that our transformations- well, they can be whatever we want," Chat Noir told her, his voice going quiet so that no one would overhear him. "And, if we really wanted to, it can change, like, physical features. Like height."

Ladybug blinked at him, and then her partner's suggestion sunk in and she scowled. "I'm not going to cheat and magic myself taller, Chat Noir!"

"It was just a suggestion, in case the height stuff was really bothering you!" Chat Noir yelped, backpedaling quickly. "In case you didn't know about that bit but might be interested! I wasn't saying that you should or anything! Just that it was something you could consider. If you wanted to."

"I wouldn't consider it," Ladybug told him tartly. "What would be the point?"

(That was a lie. She totally considered it.)

(Just for a moment, though. Really.)

Marinette scowled as she shot out of yet another hiding spot that had been invaded by other students and made (another) dash for it, pushing herself to run as fast as she could. She could hear the akuma drawing closer, and she really had to transform before the akuma tore into the area and zapped her up alongside all of the other civilians in the street.

Ugh. Why couldn't people find their own hiding spots and leave hers alone? Everyone knew by now that the more people that were hidden in a spot, the more likely it was that the akuma of the day would find them.

"Marinette! Hold tight!"

"What-" Marinette started, startled, before she was scooped up my a pair of familiar arms. A second later, she and her rescuer were up on the rooftops and positively flying across the city, the streets a blur below.

Aha. It was Chat Noir.

It had been a few years since she had really interacted with her partner as a civilian, Marinette realized as she clung to Chat Noir's shoulders. There hadn't really been any akumas targeting her, not since Lila had been sent packing in disgrace, and the agility and strength that she had gotten from battles as a superhero helped her get out of the way before she could get in much danger- well, most of the time, at least. There hadn't been any more akumas wanting to go out on dates with her, either, or awkward encounters leading to more-awkward brunches with her parents. So it was honestly a little surprising that he remembered her name, all things considered, and even more surprising that he would go out of his way to rescue her specifically.

Not that it wasn't appreciated, of course, because it very much was. But it was still surprising.

"That akuma doesn't look like one to mess around with," Chat Noir puffed in her ear as he launched them across a street. "And I'm pretty certain that I saw Hawkmoth and Mayura out and about, too. So this battle is going to be super fun."

"Can you drop me off at my house?" Marinette asked right away They were headed in that direction anyway, she could tell, and if her partner was right- and he often was- about the supervillains being out, then she would need to grab a few Miraculous for backups before going out. "I can stay there, it should be far enough away from the akuma. You remember, at the bakery?"

"Got it, Princess!" Chat Noir's trajectory didn't change, which- well, which suggested that he had been headed for the bakery anyway. He adjusted his grip and sped up when a loud bang behind them signaled that some building had been pretty well destroyed. "Hold tight!"

It didn't take long at all for them to reach the bakery. Chat Noir landed lightly on her balcony, neatly avoiding all of the chairs and the table that she and the other girls had left out after their most recent tea party. "Here you go!"

"Thank you," Marinette told him, loosening her legs from around his waist and dropping lightly to the ground before reaching forward to give him a hug. "The save is greatly appre-"

She stopped. Paused. Because instead of her head just barely reaching his shoulders, like she was used to as Ladybug, her head came up to his nose. Somehow, the height difference had shrunk by a head.

What.

"Is something wrong, Marinette?" Chat Noir asked after a second had passed. He sounded confused.

Marinette shook her head hastily,. "No, it's, uh- I just thought you were taller! Because Ladybug is so much shorter in all of your pictures, you know?" she added hastily, trying to cover her slip. "So, uh..."

Chat Noir laughed at that. "Yeah, she's a tiny bug, isn't she?" he asked, his tone entirely fond. "But what she lacks in height, she more than makes up for in spirit and spitfire. And if people underestimate her because of her size- well, that just makes our job a bit easier, right? The akuma thinks it doesn't need to try its hardest to win, and we stroll up and hand them their ass on a platter."

"Right," Marinette managed, just barely keeping herself from frowning. She was Ladybug! Why was Chat Noir talking as though she was so much taller than her alter ego?

"I never tell her how endearing that is, because I worry that she might feel like I'm patronizing her, but it's really just like- well, she's one heck of a firecracker in a small package." Chat Noir grinned at her. "Small but packs far more of a punch than anyone would expect. And I should really get back so that she doesn't end up facing the akuma on her own," he added quickly, stepping back and giving her a wave. "Stay safe, Marinette!"

Marinette waved, waiting for Chat Noir to launch himself into the air before diving into her room and digging for the Miraculous box. She pulled out four Miraculous- three to definitely use, and a bonus just in case- and then called for Tikki.

She would have to mull over the strange height disparity later. Right now, duty called.

The weirdness only continued. Now that Ladybug was aware that there was something off, it seemed as though she just couldn't stop noticing other things that seemed didn't seem quite right. The most recent Odd Thing, as she had decided to dub it, was when Ladybug had escorted many of her classmates- including Nino, Alya, and Adrien- to safety, since there was an akuma rampaging through the building that they were visiting on their field trip, and of course she didn't want them hurt. It hadn't taken much to get people to evacuate, and now she was taking a quick breather before plunging back into the fight.

And in the seconds that made up that breather, Ladybug had noticed that her friends seemed a lot taller than normal. But how could they be taller?

Something really, really weird was going on, that was for sure. Adrien was as tall as Chat Noir it seemed, with her head only reaching his shoulders, and Nino and Alya seemed to have shot up as well. She had to wonder if maybe her perception of her friends' heights was just off somehow- she had been wearing (low) heels to school sometimes, maybe that was it- but there hadn't been much time to think about it then. The akuma was raging ever closer, and an evacuation to a safe zone did no good if the akuma was allowed to reach the safe zone again.

So once again, Ladybug didn't allow herself time to think about how plausible her explanation was. She flung herself into the fight, and by the time it ended, the only concern on Marinette's mind was thinking up an explanation for her being gone for the entire battle.

Then she saw Chat Noir as her civilian self again, followed by Ladybug making the time to do a one-on-one interview with Alya. Ladybug had to save Adrien from an overeager fan who had been akumatized. Every time, something just seemed off, but- well, she never really had the time to give it any thought.

The last straw finally came when Marinette was browsing the Ladyblog for the first time in- well, ages.

A reduced amount of homework had coincided with both a break in commissions and an unusually low number of akuma attacks, so she had decided to take advantage of the break to catch up on some much-needed rest and to catch up with what was being said about her on the Ladyblog.

And on the blog, there- well, there was a photo. A series of photos, really, in a very lovely article posted on the most recent Heroes Day and pinned to the top of the page. It was a reflection on the years of akumas and all that the superheroes had done for the city, with pictures from the most recent Heroes Day celebration along with photos from past celebrations. Ladybug and Chat Noir were in all of the photos, of course, with a rotating cast of secondary heroes behind them. Each year, it was obvious that Chat Noir was growing taller, catching up to the Mayor's height easily, a boy's silhouette turning into a man's. Next to him...

Marinette compared the pictures once, twice, three times. No, it wasn't just her imagination. Chat Noir grew taller and filled out with lean muscle, but next to him- well, Ladybug looked like she might as well have been copy-pasted from year to year. And in one of the last photos...

"My arms aren't that twiggy, are they?" Marinette demanded, shrugging off her hoodie to get a better look at herself. Just like she had thought- her arms were like a gymnast's, hardly bulky but clearly strong with lean, practiced muscles, just like the rest of her. Marinette had had to awkwardly wave off comments about her muscles before- after all, no one just got the physique of a professional gymnast without putting in some work- so she knew that her muscles were there and noticeable. And yet, in that photo...

Maybe it was just a bad angle?

No. No, she wasn't just going to accept that and move on. Marinette had been noticing things that were off between her normal self and her alter-ego for a while now, and she had always waved them off as coincidences or her misremembering things. But not anymore. She refused.

Today, Marinette was going to figure out what was going on.

Snatching up a book and a stray piece of chalk, Marinette stalked over to a blank section of wall. Facing the wall, she placed the book on her head, flat and level. Once she was satisfied with how flat it was, Marinette swiped a short line of chalk under the book, marking her Marinette height. Then she called on Tikki, who-

Well, who had apparently been napping before Marinette abruptly transformed. Whoops.

She's apologize later with a cookie. Tikki could never stay that upset for long.

With a small wince, Ladybug turned back to the wall, taking a step to the side so that she wouldn't be right on top of her previous mark before lining the book up again and making another mark. She stepped back, fully expecting the marks to be side-by-side and the whole looking like she didn't grow at all thing to be all in her head-

-but that wasn't the case.

"What the heck," Ladybug muttered, looking from one mark to the other. The Ladybug mark was significantly lower. She had probably been that height when she started being Ladybug over four years ago.

What was going on?

"No wonder I always look fourteen at most in the photos!" Ladybug exclaimed, glancing towards the mirror this time. From this angle, she could confirm that her superhero build looked just the same as it had at the start. "I'm stuck in my old form! Spots off!"

Tikki spiraled free and- oh, the little sprite was clearly muffling giggles. Marinette narrowed her eyes at her kwami. "Do you want to explain why my superhero self is an entire head shorter than my- well, my normal self?"

"It's not all my fault!" Tikki objected, clearly still swallowing her mirth. "You had a pretty specific picture of what Ladybug looked like after your first few transformation, so I- er, the magic- just assumed that you just wanted to keep your exact same transformation."

"Uh-huh." Marinette gave Tikki an unimpressed look. "And the magic just assumed that my 'very specific' image of Ladybug went all the way down to the exact measurements I had when I started? And that my 'image of Ladybug' wouldn't account for me growing?"

Tikki fell silent. Her eyes darted back and forth as she battled with keeping her smile hidden. Marinette waited, her arms crossed. And then Tikki cracked.

"Okay, fine, I might have fiddled with things a little bit," Tikki admitted, zipping backwards out of Marinette's reach. "I've done it before with other holders, to see how long it takes for them to notice, and it's always so funny when they do!"

"Ha ha," Marinette said dryly. She peered at Tikki. "So how fast did I notice, compared to your other holders?"

Tikki giggled. "You aren't going to like it."

Marinette groaned. "I did that badly, huh?"

"To be fair, you've been incredibly busy," Tikki assured her hastily. "You have school, and commissions, and babysitting, and putting together your portfolio, and doing long-distance studies with the Order of the Guardians, and akuma battles. You had more important things to worry about than if your superhero self had been growing at the same rate as your civilian self!"

Marinette remained less than convinced.

"Besides, it was helpful, wasn't it?" Tikki added hopefully. "It's easier to hide when you're smaller!"

The groan Marinette gave was Tikki's only answer.

A few minutes ticked by as Marinette contemplated what to do next. Her knee-jerk reaction was to ask Tikki to adjust the Ladybug transformation to grow with her right away, because she should have been growing alongside Chat Noir, and he had been teasing her about her height for ages. But a sudden jump in growth would no doubt attract attention from the press, along with unwanted speculation. If the public thought that she was an adult now- even if Hawkmoth wouldn't be fooled- then that could help keep her own identity secret from reporters and other curious people.

But on the other hand, Marinette wasn't very interested in keeping her superhero self short and spindly. Maybe it was just vanity, but she had worked hard during those akuma battles and earned those muscles. She had grown up, but the way she looked didn't reflect that at all. And she wanted it to.

(Well. Somewhat. She didn't get many comments on her figure- that she knew of, anyway- and she wasn't exactly interested in starting. Keeping a thirteen-year-old's body in that regard might be helpful.)

She didn't have to make a decision right away, Marinette decided after another minute's thought. There would be no harm in keeping her current transformation for a few more days while she figured out how much to change and how fast to change it.

After all, Ladybug had looked the exact same for years.

"What's new?" Chat Noir asked cheerfully as he landed next to Ladybug on a darkened rooftop. There were two separate contests going on in the city that evening, so the two of them had opted to call a patrol rather than just sit around waiting for an akuma to show up. "Anything interesting?"

"My kwami's been shrinking me."

Chat Noir blinked. Once. Twice. "Pardon?"

"I've been noticing some weird stuff going on," Ladybug explained, glancing across the city to make sure that there weren't any disturbances yet before turning back to her partner. "People I know in my civilian life who seem a lot taller when I'm transformed, mostly. And then I saw the photos on the Ladyblog with past Heroes Days- and I didn't look like I had grown at all, even though I have! So I marked my height on my wall, and I'm a whole head taller as my civilian self! Apparently Tikki was playing a prank on me."

Chat Noir blinked again, then sniggered. "That's hilarious!"

"It is not!" Ladybug protested. "I could have been growing all this time, so I wouldn't always look so short next to you! And how am I supposed to change to match what I should look like now without people thinking that I'm magicking myself to look different?" She spread her hands, gesturing at an invisible headline. "I can see the headlines now- 'Ladybug padding her suit?'. No thank you!"

Chat Noir choked, and it took Ladybug a moment to figure out where his brain had gone. Scowling, she tossed her yo-yo at him in gentle reprimand. "Not like that!"

"I- I'm sorry, what else was I supposed to think about?" Chat Noir managed, still sounding a bit choked. "There's not exactly a lot of things that people normally stuff!"

"Get your mind out of the gutter! I meant, like, muscle-wise." Ladybug tapped her biceps, still as bony-thin as they had been when she first started being a superhero. "I've gotten a fair bit of muscle from swinging all over Paris, but Tikki decided to hide that as part of her prank, too."

Chat Noir's shoulders relaxed. "Oh, okay. Gotcha."

"Though I do suppose that the tabloids would focus more on those other areas if I adjusted everything to match my build now," Ladybug mused, and was amused to see her partner promptly choke and turn red, clearly scandalized.

"Ladybug!"

Ladybug finally cracked and laughed, elbowing her partner "You should have seen your face! That was great!"

Chat Noir pouted, muttering something under his breath. Ladybug was pretty sure she heard the word meanie amongst the muttering, which only made her laugh harder. He stuck his lip out further in an even more dramatic pout, and she practically folded onto the rooftops, completely breathless.

She couldn't help it. His face.

Chat Noir made the best expressions.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Chat Noir grumbled, flopping down to sit next to her. "You are destroying my image of you, I hope you know that."

"I'm sure you'll survive." Finally getting her wheezing under control, Ladybug pushed herself back up to a sit. "I just couldn't resist."

They sat in silence for a minute, eyes scanning the city and listening intently for anything out of place. Finally Chat Noir spoke up again. "So what are you going to do about your transformation? Anything?"

Ladybug let out a long breath. "I keep asking myself that. Because, like, it's really good for hiding my identity, since I'm not at all the same height. But I worked hard for that muscle, darn it! Is it so wrong of me to actually want for it to show? Or to want to actually look like I've grown up at all?" She let out a long sigh. "I've been thinking about it and I for sure want to actually look like I have muscles, and I'll have to add that gradually. I just don't know about everything else."

Chat Noir hummed. "Well, maybe you can add some height but not all? Then it's still a bit of a disparity to throw off people who might be looking," he added. "And then once Hawkmoth is gone, go through a bit more of a growth spurt, since you won't have to transform during the day so often and people in your civilian life won't be wondering where you're vanishing off to all of the time."

"As if I really needed any more motivation to defeat Hawkmoth," Ladybug said with a laugh, but Chat Noir had a point. "That does sound reasonable, though. And if people notice me getting taller, then they might think that it's a clue, that they should be looking for girls who went through really late growth spurts."

Her partner grinned. "Exactly! I would be tempted to do the same, because that's a fantastic way to throw everyone off, but I think you might actually kill me if you started "growing" only for me to magic myself taller."

Ladybug's sharp nod made them both laugh.

"I've been thinking about doing a costume upgrade, too," Ladybug added once they had both calmed. She shrugged at Chat Noir's disbelieving look. "What? It's been years, and I have the world's most basic design, just because I panicked and blanked when I transformed the first time. And it would give the reporters something else to talk about other than 'did Ladybug suddenly get muscles?'"

"Well, if you decide you want to do that and want some help coming up with a new design, I have a friend in my civilian life who's a fantastic designer," Chat Noir told her, a fond grin spreading across his face. "I bet that she would be able to come up with some pretty great ideas."

"I think I can come up with my own ideas, thanks," Ladybug told him, and then scowled when a doubtful look flashed across his face. "Just I panicked once when I was thirteen and didn't think about what I wanted my transformation to look like doesn't mean that I can't think of good designs, Chat Noir!"

"Okay, okay, I believe you!" Chat Noir said with a laugh, holding his hands up in mock defense. Ladybug playfully pummeled them, and soon enough they were wrestling across the rooftops, Tikki's prank all but forgotten for the time being.

(Well. At least until the night's akuma showed up and laughed at Ladybug's diminutive height, that was.)

Ladybug's new outfit debuted a week later, black sections breaking up the red and black polka dots and a short open-front skirt- long enough to be decorative and look nice, short enough that it would be difficult for it to snag or have akumas grab on, so at least it wouldn't be impractical- a striking contrast to the simple onesie pattern that she had worn before. It made headlines, reporters and bloggers all too happy to talk about the changed design and how nice it looked and how well it suited Ladybug.

In fact, everyone was so caught up in the new design that it was three full months before the first person noticed and commented on the other new changes in Ladybug's appearance, both her apparent growth and the new muscles visible in her arms and along her legs. The internet promptly exploded with theories about it, wondering if the new costume was making illusions or if the changes were real. Doctors and fitness experts chimed in, adding their voices to the fray.

At home, Marinette just smiled as she turned away from the theories on the Ladyblog and back towards her latest commission work for Jagged Stone. None of the guesses were remotely close, of course, but when it came to things with her alter ego...

Well, that was just the way she liked it.

[theoddsideofme]

I see you also have a dislike for the sun?

Well I like the sun but it doesn’t like me unfortunately. Too many years out in it and tanning beds has caused severe sun damage to the first layer of my skin. I could never tan which frustrated me because everyone else in my family has dark skin except my fair ass. Anyways three years ago I was diagnosed with solar urticaria and well I couldn’t figure out wtf was wrong with me and come to find out I’m highly allergic to the sun and Light. If I go out in it I have a severe fever, burning like someone has poured acid on me, and itching like bugs are all over me. I’m learning I can be outdoors until 10 am as long as I’m covered and when it gets dark. I have had to learn how to avoid it but it’s quite hard to do because even certain stores make very sick with their light bulbs. The only things the doctors say to do is move to a different climate or hang upside down in my closet 🤷🏻‍♀️ Anyways the sun is very bad and people don’t realize that if you aren’t wearing sunscreen or protective gear when out in it you may suffer from it when you get older. I had a patient who was a farmer and gotten a place on his face that was cancerous from the sun and it literally ate his face off. Probably the most horrific cancer I’ve ever seen next to tongue cancer. I’m sorry I’m rambling. 😂

[friendofhayley]

This one’s a little late because I’ve just started work again this month! Thank you again to all the fandom content creatures for giving us an escape. Here are the best fics I read in August and they’re all bangers. This rec includes 13 fics from the One Direction, Teen Wolf, and Umbrella Academy fandoms. The starred ones are fics I would drop in front of your door if I was your cat.

Larry (One Direction)

1. Naked Attraction by reader_chic_2 | reality tv au - Louis is basically a pixie dream guy - rock star Harry - true love - 12k

Louis Tomlinson was the only gay and unfortunate staff member chosen to step in for one of the six possible partners when someone dropped out. He hated working there, and he definitely didn't want to agree, but it was too good of an offer to be turned down. Nothing would come out of it, surely, and they even agreed to keep his identity a secret.

That all changed when famous singer Harry Styles walked out. Louis had no idea who he was, and Harry liked that about him.

2. thick alpha (series) by @eeveelou | a/b/o - Louis just wants to take care of his man and that includes kink hijinks - emotional hurt/comfort - chubby kink - 3+ parts

Louis loves Harry's body from the first moment he sees him. It takes Harry a little convincing to see what Louis sees.

3. *still feel the same around you* by @gaycousinlarry | this gave me cavities!! - out of order - girl direction - older Larry - 13k

Twenty-five years is a long time to fall in love with someone, to learn all the ways a person can fit into one's heart. It’s also an awful long time to lie to one of the most important people in your life.

Sterek (Teen Wolf)

4. Who Can Take the Sunshine (series) by Anonymous | fae Stiles - dad Derek - this is just so pure and can just take you out of any bad mood! - see how magic works - 12+ parts

It all starts when Derek and his five year old daughter meet Fairy Stiles at the market.

5. *Blood is (Not) Thicker Than Water* by Anxiety_Baker02 | tw: abusive extended family - BAMF Stiles - pining Derek - this WILL get you worked up - 78k

Stiles hasn’t seen his extended family in years- mostly because they’re assholes. His cousins bully him relentlessly, and his aunts and uncles aren’t much better. So when he hears that they’re coming out for a family reunion, he’s understandably upset. He knows the next week is going to be hell, and it’s made worse when a new pack shows up, vowing revenge on their pack.

6. Be still, my love (series) by tugela54 | werewolves are known and discriminated against - omega Stiles - pining - misunderstandings - 3 parts

When Stiles’ boss unexpectedly goes into rut, he offers himself to the lycan, knowing all too well how utterly terrifying it can be.

Will his gamble pay off, or ruin everything…?

Klave (The Umbrella Academy)

7. Like Real People Do (series) by ObliqueOptimism | yeah so Klaus self-harms himself to deafness - family bonding - good siblings communicate, who knew? - fluff and angst - 6+ parts

Vanya got a call from the hospital, Klaus had harmed himself while in rehab. She decided then and there to be there for him. Together they heal, grow, become the family they'd never been, and change the future in immeasurable ways.

8. And When I Look In My Window, So Many Different People To Be by ObliqueOptimism | witch Klaus - BAMF Klaus still has daddy issues - bless this author - the more ghosts you know - 24k

If you were to go looking for Klaus, you wouldn't look to the alleys where drugs are bought, or to a rave where you could lose yourself in dance, no. No, you would look to his garden full of protective herbs, to his bedroom at three in the morning where he tends to make magic amulets. Klaus grew into his power, both as a witch, and as the Séance.

9. Tombstones In Their Eyes by @siriuspiggyback | disabled Klaus - despite themselves this family can care! - hurt/comfort - angst with a happy ending - 12k

His siblings don't pay a lot of attention to Klaus, don't notice the dog tags and new tattoos, but even the Hargreeves have to notice a missing limb.

10. *Choirs Threaten in Voices I Only Feel* by @veteranklaus | hey veteranklaus? I’d die for you - blind Klaus - I love how this fic changes Harold Jenkins - Ben as a seeing eye ghost? perfection! - 61k

The last time Klaus saw his siblings was at Allison and Patrick's wedding. A lot had changed since then; including the not-so-accidental, irreversible loss of his sight.

There's no time to tell them that, though. Not with the return of their long-presumed-dead brother and the impending apocalypse. Plus, it doesn't matter. He's got Ben as a good seeing-eye ghost.

11. *Numbers (series)* by @veteranklaus | this series legit made me disocciate for a few days especially since I just finished The Accident by Wiesel - the Holocaust is a trigger warning - very dark - the writing is literally award-winning, like the research done? the empathy paid to the characters? god tier!! I’ve written several research papers on post/during-holocaust times and i just want to applaud you for the work you’ve done in writing this - 2+ parts

The briefcase transports Klaus into a time to fall in love with a bookshop owner and photography enthusiast with soft amber eyes and a yellow star sewn into all of his clothes. And later, Klaus will stand next to that same man behind a fence, and he'll hold his hands up to a camera and pray to a merciless god that his siblings open a history book and find him.

12. *At the Edge of the Universe* by @veteranklaus | this is turning into a veteranklaus rec post but i don’t care - this is the life Klaus and Dave deserved!!! - the gays are really winning today y’all - cottagecore but make it the 1970s - 58k+

There is a knock at the door. With a heavy sigh, Klaus untangles himself from the mess of Dave's limbs with a mutter of 'I've got it'. They rarely get visitors out here, their closest neighbour being about three miles away, and Klaus didn't even hear a car or see any headlights outside.

He opens his door, expecting to see old Mrs Richards asking for one of the dog treats they always keep for the occasions her dog runs off. He does not, however, expect to see his siblings - all of them, standing outside his door. Well, Five is being held up by Diego, and Vanya is being carried by Luther, but they are all there, on his doorstep, on this evening in 1970.

13. Counting Down The Days To Go by @siriuspiggyback | sick Klaus - sibling bonding - Klaus goes to therapy - there are some lines that just kick the breath out of you - 24k 

It started off small. Easy to explain away. That was his downfall, in the end. By the time they diagnosed him, it was too late; the cancer had gotten a tight hold on his body.

Klaus wouldn't tell his siblings, not yet, no matter how much Ben begged him. He wanted to feel as normal as he could, for as long as he could.