#unsympathetic and abusive orange side

[tss-whumper]

egotistical - a sanders sides whump oneshot

(this was requested by a few of my friends, and inspired by an interaction i had while talking about roman in a discord server!)

summary: "Uh oh, better not give Roman a compliment. It'll stroke his ego, and we don't need that!". Roman is used to being the butt of the joke, the clown, the silly ingenue, the stupid prince. But what happens when the constant mistreatment and berating break him down past repair? After all, the ego needs praise and approval to survive. If Roman is constantly starved of the one thing he desires more than anything else, then he might just shut down.

word count: 4.4k

content warnings: verbal abuse, manipulation, all of the sides can be considered unsympathetic except for roman, virgil, and remus.

Roman was the ego. And nobody let him forget it.

Ego has a lot of different interpretations when it comes to the definition and what it could mean for Roman as a representation. Is he the Freudian ego, a part of the conscious mind that acts according to reality? No, that didn't sound very much like Roman at all. Is he the literal ego, which is a sense of personal identity and self-worth? Roman would like to think so, but he wasn't completely sure.

The definition of ego that all of the other sides, as well as Thomas, as well as the fandom interpreted Roman as was the figurative ego. Selfishness. Snobbiness. Inflated self-importance. In their minds, ego was seen as a flaw. Something that needed to be fought and suppressed in order to better Thomas.

It only made sense. Thomas was raised in a religion where greed and pride were both deadly sins. Wanting things was an aspect of Roman's purpose. He was the reason why Thomas reached for the stars to begin with. Along with this, was appreciation for Thomas' achievements. Roman was the cheerleader, the one who helped Thomas steel his nerves at auditions, the one who reminded Thomas that he was born to perform, and that the only thing stopping him from doing his best was his own doubts. That was all Roman.

But that wasn't the stuff that was noticed. And as hard as Roman tried to deny it, wearing his prince persona like it was a mask, his sash like a bulletproof vest as insults and backhanded compliments were constantly hurled at him, his visage was slipping.

---

"Look, look, guys, look!"

Roman ran as fast as he could out of his bedroom to the other sides, who were eating their lunch in the kitchen. Bouncing on his toes, Roman spun around, showing everybody the new outfit he had created, using red, orange, and brown accents instead of his usual red and white. It had taken all afternoon, and Roman was so happy with his work. Sewing and needlework did not come easy, and the prince spent a lot of time, trial, and error to ensure that this outfit would be impressive.

"Tada!" he cried out, "Do you like it? Isn't it cool? I can make you guys new outfits if you want! If you like this one, I can make a matching one!"

"Looks good, Princey," Virgil said with a small smile, between bites of salad, "I like what you did with the sleeves."

"You do? Really?" Roman's eyes glimmered with joy and he squealed, "Oh, I'm so glad! See, what I did was I puffed out the sleeves, and then-"

"Aww, come on, Virgil, why'd you do that?" Patton asked, a slight frown showing on his face as he grimaced, "Now he's not going to stop bragging about how great he is."

Roman felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

"Yeah, Pat's right," Janus chimed in, gazing at Roman's outfit with a critical eye, "And your needlework could use some, well, needleWORK, Roman. The stitches are so crooked."

"I made it for practice," Roman protested quietly, gazing down at his sleeves, hiding them with his hands, suddenly feeling extremely insecure.

Logan sighed with relief when he saw Roman duck his head.

"Oh, good," he said, "Now I can finally focus. Roman, there's really no need to constantly try and show off how great you are. We all have much more important things to focus on than your preening."

Roman forced a smile so big and splitting that it hurt. He hoped that nobody could see the tears that were starting to blur his vision.

"Got it," he said through his gritted grin, "I'll go fix these stitches, then. See you guys later."

He rushed back to his bedroom, only realizing after he closed the door that he had forgotten to grab a plate of food. But it was just as well. After that interaction, Roman's throat had closed up. His stomach was in knots. He wasn't hungry anyway.

---

"I chose the movie for Movie Night last time," Janus mused out loud, "Roman, why don't you choose this time?"

"Really?" Roman asked excitedly, "You guys never let me choose anymore."

"Don't act like it was for no reason," Patton teased, "You kept singing during the movies, even after we told you to stop. You'd better promise not to sing this time, mister!"

Something invisible stabbed through Roman's chest.

"Uh-huh!" he squeaked, trying to hide how much that comment hurt, though honestly, he was so excited about choosing the movie after weeks of not choosing, that he focused back on the DVD collection quickly. "I wanna watch Brother Bear!"

There was a collective groan.

"Is...is that okay...?" Roman asked hesitantly.

"I love Brother Bear!" Remus said enthusiastically, "The moose are so funny, and the faces the bears make are the best."

"It's...alright, I suppose," Janus shrugged, putting in the DVD, sighing as he did, "What led you to choosing that one, Ro?"

"It's about brothers!" Roman cried out happily, before sheepishly smiling over at Remus. "I like stuff about brothers."

Remus grinned in response. "Yeah! Me too!"

"Aww, how adorable," Janus cooed, petting Roman's hair, "You're so valiant, Roman. So considerate of others."

Roman's heart lifted. "You mean it?" he whispered.

"Of course I mean it, doll," Janus purred, "You're such a sweetheart. You ask that like you don't hear praise often. Now, I just know that's not true."

It absolutely was true. But Roman did not dare argue and risk ruining this perfect moment. He was smiling so big that his mouth and face hurt, but it was a real smile this time. He started to rock back and forth on the couch, so joyful. Janus was being kind to him! Janus was giving him a real compliment!

The movie started, and Janus hugged Roman gently as all six sides watched it together. By the time it was over, everybody agreed that Brother Bear was a great choice of a movie. Roman was positively glowing.

"Roman," Janus mumbled, grabbing Roman's wrist before the prince could go back to his room for bed, "Can we...talk for a moment?"

Roman smiled and nodded. "Alright! How can I help you, Janus?"

He bowed courteously, the way royalty tended to. But it was clear that Janus, in all of his smooth, elegant, almost sultry glory, was all business right now.

"I need you to come with me to talk with Thomas tomorrow," Janus whispered, "We have to tell him that Virgil is messing up Thomas' recharge time by constantly filling his head with worries the whole time. I'm sure Thomas has noticed it, and he's more likely to listen if it's both of us."

"Oh, um...I don't know," Roman admitted, wincing slightly, "I think Virgil's doing a good job, as well as he can, at least. Anxious thoughts are always gonna slip through the cracks, right? And- I thought Thomas said that his recharge time has improved."

"Huh," Janus remarked, his expression growing colder, "And here I was thinking that you actually had some sense, Roman. Some basic observation skills when it comes to people besides yourself."

Roman's eyes widened, and he took a shaky step back, confused and astonished.

Janus had just been so sweet to him. What happened??

"I'm sorry," Roman said immediately. By now, he had learned that the sooner he apologized, the better. "I didn't mean to be- um- to not- uh- I-"

"Spit it out!" Janus snapped, before pinching the bridge of his nose and regaining his composure, "You should know by now that an apology means nothing if you don't even know what you're apologizing for. And I thought I was the manipulative one."

"I'm not trying to manipulate you," Roman protested, a tear rolling down his face that he desperately wiped away, but it was too late.

"Crocodile tears don't work on me, sweetheart," Janus cooed, "I give you all these compliments, I build you up and support you all night, and you can't even do this one little thing for me? You just have to argue with me and be right? No wonder the fandom can't stand you. You need to be knocked down a few pegs."

Roman winced as Janus turned on his heels and walked away, muttering under his breath. When the sound of Janus' footsteps faded away, Roman finally let out the sob that he had been biting back. It hurt to restrain it, burning his throat and stinging his eyes, but he didn't want Janus to think he was only crying to make him feel guilty.

It wasn't fair, Roman couldn't help but think. He had really thought Janus' compliments were real. He should have known that the only reason Janus would ever be nice to him was to get something out of him.

After all, Janus said this out loud on camera. And nobody even batted an eye.

Manipulation, the prince learned, was only a sin when Roman was the one being accused of it.

---

"Woah, good flip, Ro!"

Remus laughed in delight as he watched Roman flip pancake after pancake. Roman was not usually great in the kitchen, but when it came to Pancake Saturday, he had grown to master the art. He absolutely adored dying the batter different colors and making silly shapes for each of his fellow sides, so they could wake up to a new art piece.

This morning, as usual, all of the sides were chatting while waiting for their pancakes, and Roman glowed at Remus' praise.

"Thanks!" he said eagerly, "I've been practicing since last week! I think I'm really improving my form, though, I guess it makes sense. I have a pretty strong left arm!"

"Oh, here it comes!" Patton interjected, grinning at the others as he pointed to Roman, "The ego express! Choo choo!"

"Careful, now, Remus," Logan said, a small, amused smile on his face as he cut into his asteroid-shaped pancake, "If you keep inflating Roman's ego, he'll become even more insufferable."

Roman's eyes widened, and his face flushed so with embarrassment that he started to sweat. Quickly, he turned to face the pan, realizing with a jolt of panic that his pancakes were going to burn. He quickly flipped them over and turned down the heat with a trembling hand.

All Remus had done was give him a compliment. Was that not allowed anymore? Was Roman just so insufferable that it was impossible for him to get any sort of kindness without it being immediately reversed into something bad?

"The last thing he needs is more ego-stroking," Janus chimed in, "All he ever talks about is himself."

"All he ever cares about is himself," Patton added with a disappointed sigh, "Maybe we should all lay off on the praise. It's spoiling him rotten."

Roman's grip tightened on his spatula. He was making custom pancakes for everybody, not eating a bite until everyone else had eaten their fill, and somehow, he was still being accused of thinking only of himself?

The prince's mind raced as he thought about all of the things he had done. He had given up the callback, his livelihood, the one thing he wanted more than anything. After bringing up the idea of communicating with both the director of the callback and the fiances of the wedding and being shut down, Roman was the one who had been punished for deciding on the wedding after the fact. It was always his fault. Everything was always Roman's fault, and he apologized, and groveled, and did everything he could. He listened to every degrading joke about him with as much grace as he could. Sure, Roman wasn't perfect. Sometimes, he was pushed to his limits and he just had to fight back. But it wasn't often. Roman went through so much pain to make the others happy. He gave up so much.

When would the sacrifices ever be enough for them?

"Aww, is Princey crying?" Janus taunted, snapping Roman out of his thoughts.

Roman realized that he was indeed softly sobbing, his tears landing on the hot pancake griddle and sizzling as they evaporated. This always happened to him. He got so lost in his own mind that he started to cry before he realized it soon enough to stop. Now the others would think he was being manipulative!

Immediately, Roman reached forward and turned off the heat on the stove. He scooped up the pancakes on the griddle and placed them on Remus' plate. And then, he ran as quickly as he could out of the kitchen and back into his room, hearing laughter echoing behind him. Roman could hear everything

He wished his door was thicker.

"Goodness, that Princey," Patton sighed, "He can't handle any sort of criticism, can he?"

Did Patton realize how hurtful receiving a constant barrage of criticism every second of the day was?

"No, he certainly can't," Logan agreed, "Frankly, it's very disturbing to see him acting so childish. He throws a tantrum every time he doesn't get his way."

Did Logan have any idea how often Roman did not get his way?

"He never listens," Janus scoffed dismissively, "I've tried to tell him to knock it off, but I swear, he's even more spiteful than Virgil."

How could Janus call Roman spiteful after throwing him under the bus in front of millions just because Roman didn't do exactly what he wanted?

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

Roman wasn't an idiot, as much as people liked to call him one. He read every single hate comment. He saw every single poll. Nobody liked him. The other sides didn't like him. The fans despised him. They called him a brat, a narcissist. They made him the butt of every joke, and wrote him as a bully in all of their stories. They only ever saw the person he had practically killed himself trying to erase. They only cared about what Patton and Janus said, and not at all about what Roman did.

"If so many people hate me, then maybe I'm the problem," Roman whispered to himself, gazing into his mirror, pristine and crystal clear. "I can't remember the last time I read a nice comment about myself online. I don't know if there was ever a time when Janus or Patton genuinely complimented me. Maybe I don't deserve compliments. I'm just stupid, old, egotistical Roman! And no matter how hard I try, I'll never, ever be who they want me to be! Never...ever..."

He collapsed against his mirror and cried bitter, desperate tears. His chest was being clawed from the inside out. Roman felt like the world was spinning, and like there was no way out of the hole he was being buried in. There was no winning on Christmas, no winning any day for the prince.

No matter what he did, Roman would always walk away the loser.

---

"Do you have any idea how fucked up that was?"

"You're sitting there eating the pancakes he woke up at 6am to make for you, and you're calling him selfish?"

Virgil and Remus were up in arms, side by side as they angrily questioned the other sides. It was rare that this ragtag duo agreed over anything. Their purposes were so opposite. But in this moment, the one thing they shared was their extreme concern for Roman.

One thing about Roman was that he was horrible at pushing down his feelings. But recently, more and more, Virgil and Remus had witnessed the prince putting on a perfect, flawless mask in order to hide his brokenness. Why wouldn't he? It was clear that when he did show his sadness or anger or frustration, it only resulted in punishment. Humiliation, or chastising, or exclusion. Even on camera, in front of millions, Roman couldn't escape the endless barrage of hate and torment.

"You're bullying him, and you don't even care!" Remus spat angrily, "Do you realize how much Roman has given up, just to make you all happy?"

"I can't even remember the last time you guys have been genuinely nice to him," Virgil seethed, "It's always followed by some smartass, backhanded remark."

"What are you talking about?" Janus asked, narrowing his eyes at Virgil, "You're always teasing Roman."

"Not the way you three do," Virgil snapped, "Always getting after him just for feeling happy? Making him think that he can't ever be proud of himself, that he can't ever express self-worth. You guys are all suppressing the most important part of Roman! I know he can be a bit braggy and over-confident sometimes. But that's his literal fucking job!"

"It's not like we humiliate and dogpile on Janus whenever he lies to us!" Remus exclaimed, "Because we know that's his job! We don't make fun of Patton when he has a bug up his ass! Everyone is allowed to do their job, everyone is allowed to make mistakes and take wrong steps except for Roman. And it's fucked up."

"You two are being ridiculous!" Patton exclaimed, tears forming in his eyes, "Why are you blaming us? Are we not allowed to critique Roman anymore? He has a lot to learn. He's the reason why everything's been going downhill to begin with!"

"Don't you ever fucking say that again," Virgil hissed, getting up in Patton's face, which was something that Virgil hardly ever had the courage to do with Patton. But when it came to Roman? Virgil was ready to unsheath his claws at a moments notice. "Roman was the one who suggested that Thomas talk to Lee and Mary-Lee about the callback. We all shut him down. Because we didn't think Roman was capable of having a good idea. Janus, Patton, you two kept pulling Roman in opposite directions, using him as a pawn for your stupid fucking games! Treating him like a trophy, or- or an accessory instead of a real side with feelings and wants!"

"Nobody ever asks Roman what he wants," Remus added, "That's why he's so outspoken. Because nobody ever asks him anything. Nobody ever even tries to make Roman happy, so he, because he's a big, stupid, naive, oblivious idiot, tries to make himself happy! But it never works, because you sick fucks can't stand to see him happy! All three of you use Roman like your free punching bag. Say and do whatever the fuck you want to me. But leave my brother alone. He's fragile, and you know that. He would never fight back hard enough to actually match the amount of hurt you've caused him. And that's why you chose Roman."

"You know it's true," Virgil muttered, grabbing Remus' wrist and walking away, "Come on, Re. Let's go check on Princey."

"He's the egotistical side," Janus said as the two sides walked away, "He needs to be knocked down a peg."

"The only sides who need to be knocked down a peg are you three," Remus responded icily, "Not Roman. Anyone with a brain can see that he's already at the bottom."

---

Roman? Wow, he's a horrible person!

I can't stand Roman. He's so annoying.

Don't tell Roman that you made him happy, it might boost his ego.

By now, Roman was crying so hard that he could barely read the words on his screen. He swiped the top of his hand against his eyes as he tried to move the neverending tears out of the way. Deep down, he knew this wasn't a good idea. Reading hate comments was never a good idea.

But Roman felt like he deserved it.

After all, he was the egotistical side. If he didn't change, then he would never escape this endless hell of insults and deception. Roman had to choose between his own well-being, and the happiness of the others. It was tearing him apart inside. The deepest core of his identity was being stretched thin.

Roman was the ego.

But he could no longer think of himself without feeling disgust and hatred.

"Hey! Open the door, fuckface!"

Roman gasped as he heard Remus' voice. He struggled to his feet and stumbled to the door, wiping and wiping at his face to try and get rid of the tears. He opened the door and tried to smile, in the most unassuming way.

But Virgil and Remus were not having that.

"Stop that, you fucking idiot," Virgil said, before quickly correcting himself, "I mean...Princey."

"What's going on...?" Roman whispered hoarsely, "Did I do something wrong? If you're here to get angry at me, please- just do it. I'll fix whatever I did wrong. I'll change it. I swear."

Virgil and Remus stared at Roman, slack-jawed, for a long time. Roman squirmed.

"Did I say something bad...?" Roman asked hesitantly.

"I'm going to kill them," Remus said simply, his face relaxed, but his eyes manic. "I swear, I'm going to fucking slit their throats."

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Virgil mumbled, guiding Roman to his bed and sitting him down on it, "You're Roman. You're...you're the ego."

"I know," Roman said, his voice pained, "Please don't remind me."

"I have to remind you," Virgil pressed, "Because- you- you're throwing away the most precious parts of yourself. Just to appease those stupid sons of bitches out there. Janus, Logan, and Patton? They have no idea how hard it is to be you. For months, I've watched them bully you and treat you like- like a toy. They never stop pushing you around, and I don't understand how you've survived it this long."

"I haven't survived it," Roman whispered, curling in on himself, "I picked the wedding."

"Because Patton basically made you!" Remus pointed out, "He kept guilt tripping you! He knows how much you care about being a good person, and he used that against you!"

"I- I made fun of Janus' name, though," Roman protested, squirming where he sat.

"After he manipulated you to hell and back and openly admitted that he was only ever nice to you to get something out of you!" Virgil cried out, "I wish you'd done worse!"

"I can't," Roman said firmly, staring at Remus and Virgil with a chilling sureness to his gaze, "You can, Virgil. And you can, Remus. But me? I can't. I can't do anything about this. If I do, it'll just- it'll make everything worse. Every time I try and say something- every time I try and defend myself- it just doesn't work. I just become the villain again. I'm always outnumbered, and- and nobody cares about how the egotistical, stupid prince character feels about anything."

"You're right," Remus said, surprising both Virgil and Roman, "That's why we have to make them care. We should make our very own video, all about you. Telling the fans about everything from your perspective. There are people who care about you. I know it. There are people who call you their favorite side. I just know that there are. We just have to find them."

"But- I can't make a video all about me," Roman whispered, "That's so self-centered."

"Yeah," Virgil said, gently putting a hand on the prince's shoulder, "That's your literal job, Roman. You're supposed to be a bit of a self-centered brat. Just like Remus is supposed to be a dirty-minded fleabag, and I'm supposed to be a paranoid bitch. We're all supposed to be a little flawed. Everyone expects you to be perfect without expecting that from anybody else, and it's...it's fucked up. But the only way we can change that is by you embracing who you're supposed to be. Instead of constantly trying to be who everyone else wants you to be."

"Virgil...that is the most High School Musical pep talk I've ever heard," Roman remarked, "Except for the calling yourself a bitch part."

"Thanks," Virgil snickered, "I learned everything I know about cheesy pep talks from you. You're Thomas' cheerleader, kid. But- you can't be Thomas' cheerleader without being your own cheerleader too. And I know it's hard. Those other sides are dicks."

"Total limp, floppy, teeny tiny dicks!" Remus piped up.

"Yeah, that," Virgil agreed, before continuing, "But- we just have to be stronger. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were all alone, because...I want you to know that I always have your back. Always. We fight, but- you're a good guy, Princey. A great guy."

"And you're my brother!" Remus exclaimed,"We're supposed to fistfight each other to the death every full moon! But...you never forget about me. You never act like I don't deserve to exist. What we have isn't exactly friendship, but...I'd call it brotherhood. In that rough-and-tumble, dysfunctional, indie 90's movie way."

"I like that," Roman admitted, "You guys are the best. I- I'm sorry if I haven't been the greatest to either of you before. If I'd known you felt like this about me...I just- I've always been scared to get closer to you two."

"Of course you were scared," Virgil pointed out, "You had no reason to believe we wouldn't treat you just like Patton, Janus, and Logan do. Why would you risk adding to the bully collection? I get it, Princey."

"I get it too," Remus said, "Now come on, guys, can we please stop being cheesy and start getting some revenge?"

"I don't know about all that right now," Roman said, smiling as he let the tears pour down his face, though now, they were tears of joy. "I don't know if I'm ready yet. But one thing's for sure...from now on, those three can make their own damn pancakes!"

All three of them dissolved into giggles. Together, they turned Roman's room into a blanket castle, with pillows stacked to the ceiling to make towers, and string lights hung around the walls to create a nice ambiance. They watched all of Roman's favorite movies, and together, they all sang as loudly as they wanted to.

And it was wonderful.

Roman realized as he tussled and roughhoused with Remus and Virgil between the pillow columns that it was okay to be the egotistical side. And that even though it was hard, Roman was so happy when he was thinking highly of himself, and bragging, and showing off. And he was even happier when Virgil and Remus were supportive, showing off their own flaws with devious pride.

Pride was okay. Here, pride could be, for just a little while, a good thing. And it was so refreshing.

[wolfprincesszola]

Echoes of 50 Masterlist

Hello everyone! This is a work that's been in the making for a little over 5 months now! I really hope you guys enjoy this, as it is only one of the amazing fics of this year's Big Bang Event hosted at @tss-storytime! As with every big bang event, there's always an artist and I'm so lucky to have worked with @thebestworstidea. The art she did for my story is absolutely phenomenal, so go check her out! ------------ Summary: Logan Sanders had spent his entire life hearing thoughts from everyone around him: strangers, family, friends, and more. He had learned more about people than he ever wanted to hear, but it became very useful when it came to gaining useful information.

His one goal in life? Find out what the government filled to the brim with powerless people has in store for him and the rest of the population with powers and stop it from happening.

Which was why it was even weirder when he had run into the prettiest man he had ever seen who just so happened to have the answers he might have been searching for. Unfortunately for him and for some frustratingly unknown reason, Patton Morris was immune to his telepathy.

The worst part? This cute guy seemed to be completely opposed against the government just as much as he was. Now it was up to him to decide if Patton was telling the truth and if Logan was to trust him in his crazy plans to try and overthrow the government. ------------

Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Remus, Janus, Virgil, Thomas, Emilie, Remy, Unsympathetic!Joan, Unsympathetic!Talyn, Unsympathetic!Orange Side, Unsympathetic!Friends_of_Thomas

Pairings: Logan/Patton (Logicality), Background Roman/Virgil (Prinxiety), Background Remus/Janus (Dukeceit), Hidden Remy/Emilie (Remilie)

Word Count: 55,210

Trigger Warnings: Major Character Death, Medical Trauma, Experimentation, Panic Attacks, Emotional Trauma, Abuse, Manipulation, Neglect

Content Warnings: Food, Swearing, Fighting

Art by @thebestworstidea

Read it at archiveofourown (click the underlined)!

<Prologue>

<Chapter 1>

<Chapter 2>

<Chapter 3>

<Chapter 4>

<Chapter 5>

<Chapter 6>

<Chapter 7>

<Chapter 8>

<Chapter 9>

<Chapter 10>

<Chapter 11>

<Chapter 12>

<Epilogue>

[wr-n]

Bleeding Trail

A Snare and Tag fic

683 words TW: Abuse, unsympathetic character, hurt/no comfort, blood, mention of past abuse

[PLEASE BE CAREFUL]

Blood stains slowly drip down the drain, their plip-plip-plips echo around the bathroom walls. The sink below him was dyed a caution orange, matching the small trickle from his nasal passage.

"A...ngh..." He bit his tongue to suppress the whimper clawing up his throat. He felt pitiful like all the other times he was here. But he couldn't linger, no, he couldn't tempt another punishment for being away. ____________________________________________________________

"What were you doing?" Snare snipped at him, suspicious eyes zeroing in on his form in the hallway. Tag had to swallow thickly to clear the anxious clog in his throat, "I w-was just c-cleaning my f-face."

They stood in tense silence then, but it took mere moments before Tag's mind broke down and started self-destructing. His eye lights waver as his vision swims, his body quaking like he’d suddenly caught a seizure. Please, please don’t hurt me, is all his mind could conjure up amidst the maelstrom of paralyzing fear.

He felt the beginnings of a scream claw up his throat like a wild animal desperate for escape before something snapped his head to the side. It was a moment before his sight cleared and registered that he had been slapped across the face.

“Fucking pull it together. And don’t take so long next time or I’ll give you a real reason to lose your shit.”

____________________________________________________________

Newly motivated by the memory, he reached for the roll of toilet paper and with trembling hands cleaned the blood from his face and clothes. A stain he no doubt would have to try and get out later when Snare let him be.

He made quick work of it and moved down the hall once more to see his abuser on his phone in the kitchen. He must’ve been too busy with whatever he was doing on it because Tag’s arrival hadn’t caught his attention. Tag lowered his head and moved to sit on the floor beside the stool Snare sat on, barefoot on the icy floorboards. If he had gone anywhere else, he was sure to invite more bruises.

The last time he sat in a chair was just before moving in, and then was promptly ‘educated’ once Snare was sure he’d never be able to run away. He was almost ready to spiral when a large warm hand settled on his head and his body grew rigid. What was it this time? Did he do something? Was he going to be punished again?

“Did you do your chores?”

Tag scrambled and desperately pulled at the memories to see if he had. No, he was sure he had. He always did.

“Y-Y-Yes. I-I did them like you told me t-to…”

A pause and then a hum. Uh oh.

“Like I told you to? You mean if I go in there and find them done wrong, you’re going to blame me?”

The grip on his hooded skull tightened and caused a sob to escape Tag’s throat. Fuck, no, that wasn’t what he meant.

“N-No, I w-w-would never blame you…! I-I just did them w-wrong…” He rasped desperately, eyelights fizzling into scattered particles in his mania. If he messed this up- god, he already did, didn’t he? He should just get hit now and get this over with.

But the silence was far worse than the pain that accompanied it, a firm impact to his skull left Tag’s thoughts scattered across the dining room floor. Stars dance in his vision as he tipped forward and caught himself from planting his face in the wood.

“.... Make me something to eat”, as all he said.

And that was all he needed to say for Tag’s body to go into autopilot. His mind was spiraling but his body knew the way. By the time he was functional again, he had finished eggs and sausage. He blinked dumbly down at the sizzling pan before plating the food and placing it in front of Snare.

… Maybe he’ll like the food this time.

… Maybe he won’t put his hand in the pan this time.

… Maybe he’ll let him sleep tonight.

[End.]

Phew! It's been a while since I've written a story, sorry it was short. I hope this was fun for some of you to read ^^

[tss-storytime-summaries]

19

Expected Rating: Mature

Warnings: Swearing, Major Character Death, Medical Trauma, Experimentation, Panic Attacks, Emotional Trauma, Abuse, Manipulation, Neglect, Fighting

Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Remus, Janus, Virgil, Thomas, Emilie, Remy, Unsympathetic!Joan, Unsympathetic!Talyn, Unsympathetic!Orange Side, Unsympathetic!Friends_of_Thomas

Romantic relationships: Logicality, Background Prinxiety, Background Demus, Hidden Remilie

Summary: Logan Sanders had spent his entire life hearing thoughts from everyone around him: strangers, family, friends, and more. He had learned more about people than he ever wanted to hear, but it became very useful when it came to gaining useful information.

His one goal in life? Find out what the government filled to the brim with powerless people has in store for him and the rest of the population with powers and stop it from happening.

Which was why it was even weirder when he had run into the prettiest man he had ever seen who just so happened to have the answers he might have been searching for. Unfortunately for him and for some frustratingly unknown reason, Patton Morris was immune to his telepathy.

The worst part? This cute guy seemed to be completely opposed against the government just as much as he was. Now it was up to him to decide if Patton was telling the truth and if Logan was to trust him in his crazy plans to try and overthrow the government.

[the-small-one-to-rule-them-all]

Wings, Whips, and the Waves They Make

Summary: Winged!Virgil has a run in with Remus that sparks a crazy turn of events that leave them all a bit worse for wear. Virgil can’t catch a break. Patton is loyal to a fault. Roman gets saved in this one. Logan does damage control.

Pairing(s): qpr moxiety, platonic LAMP

Warnings: Blood, injury, graphic description of injury, crying, screaming, swearing, implied past abuse, “on-screen” physical assault/torture, strongly implied cannibalism? (remus is strange), unsympathetic/abusive remus, unsympathetic/villain deceit, unsympathetic/abusive orange side,

Word count: 10,720

A/n: PLEASE heed the warnings! This one is hurt/comfort but it is still a bit intense at times and I want you guys to keep yourselves safe! I’m pretty happy with it, but I tried a few new things in the middle just like style-wise and im not entirely sure how it all worked out. Also, I created my own version of the Orange side, I didn’t really give them a specified job or anything, but they’re there, they’re a villian, and their name is Orion. (also only Virgil has wings) I worked hard on this one, enjoy!

They had been relaxing, having a famILY picnic for lunch in the imagination when Remus shows up out of nowhere and takes a swing at Virgil while he isn't looking. Roman jumps to bat him away. He doesn't make it. The sword swings. It lands. Virgil is on the ground unconscious. His wings are no longer attached to his body, laying three feet from him.

Logan and Patton rush forward to tend to Virgil as Roman redoubles his efforts to defeat Remus behind him.

Virgil collapses on his stomach and Patton kneels by his head as Logan inspects his back.

“Virgil, Virge, I got you.You’re safe now.” Patton coos, lifting Virgil’s head into his lap.

Virgil groans and opens his eyes.

“We’ve got you, kitten. Logan is fixing you up right now. It’s going to be okay.”

“NO!” Virgil shouts, eyes opening wide..

Logan and Patton freeze

“Don't try and fix it. Don't try and stop the bleeding. It will only hurt worse when they come back.”

“When they what!?” Logan shrieks. 

Virgil sighs, “When they grow back. Trust me, please. Don't make this worse than it is already going to be.”

Logan doesn’t want to listen, but he can't bring himself to ignore Virgil’s pleas and so abandons his medical kit.

Patton frowns, “Virgil, what can we do?”

“Just... let me cry. Don't touch my upper back. And, maybe... let me hug you...” Virgil mutters quietly.

Patton immediately nods, “Of course! You can hug me all you need. Can you sit up or do you need some help?”

Virgil grimaces, “I got it.” He brings his knees under him and uses his core to sit up far enough to collapse into Patton’s arms and chest.

Patton helps him adjust his legs, “There we are. Is this okay?”

Virgil has his arms wrapped around Patton’s neck with his face buried in his shoulder and is, for all intents and purposes, sitting in Patton’s lap. 

Virgil nods, “Yeah Butterfly, this is good.”

Logan looks him over, feeling a bit useless, “Would some painkillers help with the... process?”

Virgil shakes his head, grimacing as he feels the wings begin to grow, “You don't have anything that’s near strong enough. Thanks though.”

Logan nods.

Virgil tucks his head into Patton’s shoulder as a steady stream of groans and curses falls from his lips.

Patton would chide him on his language if he wasn't currently watching skin-covered bones start to grow from the open wounds on Virgil’s back.

Logan watches silently, facing Patton with a horrified look on his face.

Virgil writhes in Patton’s lap and begins to cry as muscle and skin stretch to cover the bone and more and more bones begin to form. There is a sickening pop as each bone appears. And with each one Virgil seems to scream louder. The wings form inch by inch, bone by bone, until halfway through they see a large bone spring into existence in the webbing of his wing. Virgil howls, biting down on Patton’s shoulder on instinct.

Patton has one arm on Virgil’s lower back and one in his hair. The hand in his hair is rubbing slowly in a feeble attempt to sooth the writhing side, the other a constant presence that he hopes keeps Virgil grounded.

Not far away, Roman defeats his brother. He turns around to walk triumphantly over to the others, when he hears Virgil’s screams. He rushes over and stares in horror as he takes in the scene before him. 

Virgil isn't the only one crying. Logan is staring at Virgil’s wings horrified, tears falling down his face, wincing at every pop and resulting shriek. Patton started crying long ago if the flood of tears dripping off his chin is anything to go by. Roman slowly takes a seat next to Logan and takes his hand. Logan squeezes it in acknowledgement as Roman turns so he doesn't have to watch. The sight makes him queasy and soon he is crying too, the sounds coming from Virgil piercing his heart. They all sit there for a time, crying, waiting desperately for this to be over.

Patton knows that the wings are finally finished growing when the feathers have come in and Virgil stops writhing, though his crying doesn't fade. Patton leans down and whispers what he hopes are comforting words into his hair, “It's over. You’re gonna be okay. It’s all over. I'm sorry. I’ve got you kitten.”

Logan knows it’s over when he watches Virgil slump against Patton. He sighs and finally peels his eyes away leaning his forehead on Roman’s shoulder. Roman runs a soothing hand over Logan’s back, laying a kiss on his temple. 

Slowly, Virgil’s crying slows and his breathing calms. “Thank you, Pat.” he mutters, his voice hoarse from his cries. 

“Oh, Virge, i'm sorry I couldn't have done more.”

Virgil sits up a bit to look at Pat and shakes his head, “You did enough, more than enough actually- wait.... Are you crying?”

Patton nods, sniffing and rubbing at his face to try to clean off the dried on tears.

Virgil ‘s eyes grow wide, “Oh gosh I bit you! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to! I didn't want to hurt you Pat I-”

“Shh, Virgil, I'm fine. It’s fine. I wasn't crying because you bit me and I know you would never bite me like that on purpose.”

Virgil takes some deep breaths, calming his breathing.

At the sound of Virgil’s voice, Roman turns around. “Virgil, are... are you okay?” he asks.

Virgil climbs out of Patton’s lap and turns to face the others, hissing as he lowers his arms, “I mean.... define okay. I'm not dead.... uh” 

Logan sighs, “We are concerned for your physical wellbeing. I'm assuming you’re still in at least some pain, but could you stand or walk if you needed to?” 

Virgil nods, “Yeah, I'm in a lot less pain now, but I am pretty exhausted. My wings are sore, and are going to be sore and sensitive for about a week. After that I'll be back to normal. As far as walking goes, I'm probably going to be slower and a bit clumsier since my wings help me balance so much, but other than that I shouldn't have any problems.”

Logan frowns at him, “How... How do you know all of that?”

Virgil looks down at his feet and winces, “Can we just go back to the house so I can lay down and take some painkillers?” I don't want to have this conversation right now.

Patton grabs his hand, “Virge?”

“Can we please go home first?” Virgil begs as he gestures to his old wings sitting not three feet away. 

Roman grimaces and nods, “Yeah, lets... lets go.”

With that they all sink out and into the living room. Virgil sprawls on the floor, Patton takes a seat next to him, leaning on the nearest wall, and Roman and Logan sit on the couch.

“Okay but seriously, can I have some food and pain meds?” Virgil groans.

Roman nods, “I’ll get the strongest ones we have.” He says, rushing to get the supplies.

Logan adjusts his glasses, “So, if you don't mind me asking, uh, how does that work? Why did they grow back?”

“Logan,” Virgil groans, “I just regrew wings that are half the size of my body and was able to feel it the whole time. My brain is so tired I couldn't tell you if I wanted to.”

“Are you magical?” Patton asks.

Virgil sighs, “I don't think so, but if I am, this is a curse I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies.”

The room goes quiet again right as Roman comes back, “I got pain killers, some water, and an assortment of snacks”

Virgil smiles, propping himself up on his arms as Roman sets the impressive display of food in front of him.

“I'm sorry.” Roman mumbles.

Virgil shakes his head, “Everything you brought is great,”

“No, i'm sorry I couldn't stop him.”

Virgil sits up, medicine halfway to his mouth, “You tried, that’s all that matters. You are not responsible for everything your brother does. I appreciate you trying to help. You did all that you could.”

“But if I had done something sooner.”

Virgil shakes his head firmly, “No, don't blame yourself. Thinking about the ‘what ifs’ is my job.”

Roman nods, silently.

Virgil takes the meds, grabs a granola bar and starts eating. When he is done he closes his eyes and groans as he settles back down on the carpet.

“How... how did you know they were going to come back like that?”

Virgil sighs, “Isn't it obvious? This isn't the first time Re- the Duke has chopped off my wings to get a snack.”

Roman sputters, “A snack?! You mean he...?”

“Yes. I don't think he knows that other people eat chicken wings, either that or he just doesn't care.”

Patton makes a small concerned noise.

Virgil goes to pop his neck and groans as his stretching goes in vain.

Patton sits up a bit, noticing his discomfort, “Would you like a back massage?”

“I... I don't know, maybe.”

Patton nods, “I could just do your shoulders and your lower back if you want.”

Virgil tries to pop his neck again and nothing happens, “You know what, sure. But I wanna lay on my bed for that.”

Patton smiles, “No problem.”

They sink out to Virgil’s room. Virgil is already sprawled out on the bed by the time Patton gets there.

“So, uh, how would you like me to do this?” Patton asks taking a seat on the bed

Virgil mumbles, “I don't know, just... start wherever you want to. But like, let me know before you do, so I don't freak out too bad.”

Patton nods, “Okay. Uh, is it okay if you take off your shirt or would you rather keep it on?”

Virgil snaps his shirt off.

Patton sighs, “I could’ve done that for you, you didn't have to use the energy to do that.”

“Well I prefer to be the one that controls my clothing so, sorry.”

“Oh, no, it's fine V.”

Patton looks over his back and makes a plan, “V, is it okay if I start with your lower back?”

He makes a noise of acknowledgement and sighs, “This was your idea Pat. Do whatever you think is best. I trust you. Just tell me what you’re doing.”

Patton smiles, “Okay. well then I’ll start at your lower back and I'm going to use some massage oil to make sure I don't hurt you. I'm only planning on going maybe halfway up your back but let me know if anything hurts too much or you want me to stop, okay?”

Virgil nods, “Sounds good.”

Patton rubs the oil on his hands and places himself next to Virgil. He reaches over and gently places a hand on his lower back, stilling as Virgil flinches at his touch but relaxes back to meet it. Patton rubs a slow circle on his back in appreciation. He brings his other hand to Virgil’s back, sliding it on over his other hand. Virgil only just flinches at that. 

Slowly, Patton rubs his hands over Virgil’s back pressing down slightly to see where any tension may lie. He then works with the side closest to him. He finds the tension and rubs it out working from the middle of his back out outwards. Starting at the base of his spine where the top of his pants ends. As Patton works, Virgil melts under his touch, relaxing and sighing as the tension that he hadn't even realised was there releases.

Patton works his way up Virgil’s spine to the halfway point before shifting to the other side, keeping one hand on Virgil the entire time. He begins the process anew on this side of Virgil’s back. He gets about three quarters of the way through and thinks Virgil might’ve fallen asleep. However as he starts massaging the next section, Virgil groans.

“Pat, stop.”

Patton immediately stills his hands releasing all the pressure he had been applying, “What’s wrong kiddo?”

Virgil buries his face in his arms, “That... it hurt.”

Patton hums, “Okay. Thank you for telling me, I won't rub there anymore. Would you like me to move up a bit or something and keep going on your back or would you rather I move to your neck and shoulders or are you done?”

“I uh, would you rub my neck please?”

Patton nods, “Of course, kitten.” He shuffles up the bed to sit above Virgil’s head. “You uh, I can't do this very well with your head tilted to the side.”

Virgil frowns, “Well I can't lay on my back right now... why don't you just rub my shoulders instead?”

Patton shakes his head, “You know what, I have an idea.” He snaps and suddenly he is holding a neck pillow like the ones they sell for airplanes. He holds it out to Virgil, “Maybe try using this so you can breathe and still have your head the right way.”

Virgil lifts his head and Patton sets the pillow down. Virgil slowly lowers his head into the pillow, letting the thing surround his face, “This isn't actually that bad.”

Patton smiles, “I'm glad. I'm going to start on your neck now.”

Virgil sighs as his hands gently rub away the tension in his neck. He has never felt this relaxed before. He might actually be melting into the comforter, but he would never admit it.

Patton smiles as he watches Virgil relax even more. He is just happy to be able to help in some way.

“Pat?”

“Hmm?”

“You know how you call me kitten sometimes?”

Patton smiles, “Yeah, I like cats.’

Virgil chuckles, “I know, but I wanted to tell you, uh animal-based nicknames weird me out a bit, they just remind me of the others a lot.”

“Oh, like Mr. Liar Man?”

Virgil smiles at the silly name, “Yeah, like him.”

Patton thinks on it, “Okay. Thanks for telling me kiddo.  I’ll do my best to remember to stop calling you kitten.”

Virgil humms, “Thanks Patt.”

There is a pause as Patton moves from rubbing Virgil’s neck to rub his shoulders before he asks, “Does that mean you won’t call me butterfly anymore?”

“Probably,” Virgil admits, “I mean, unless i'm gonna turn you into one.”

Patton giggles, “Well it would be fun to have wings like you.”

“I'm not enjoying the wings right now, but I guess on a more normal day you might like it.” Virgil says.

Patton frowns, “Is there another nickname you want me to call you instead?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Uh, no, I'm fine with whatever you choose, just not stormcloud or something animal based, please.”

Patton hums, “Okay, I'll do my best to come up with a really good one, okay?”

Virgil smiles, starting to nod off with how relaxed he has become, “Okay Pat.”

----

Virgil spends the next few days laying in his bed, three days later he finally feels good enough to get up and join the others. They spend the day planning for videos and watching cartoons and movies. When they finish the second Harry Potter movie, Roman goes to put in the third, ready to have a marathon until bed.

“No, not that one please.” Virgil asks ad Roman pulls the movie from the case.

Patton frowns, “Why not? I thought this one was your favorite. Aren’t Sirius and Lupin your favorite characters?”

Virgil sighs, “Yeah, normally I do like this movie, but I don't think I can watch Remus turn into a werewolf right now.”

Logan frowns for a moment before it hits him. That scene is startlingly similar to what happened to Virgil mere days ago. It must be painful to watch, “Oh. Well, okay, we can skip to the fourth one then.”

Virgil grimaces at the thought of watching Voldemort grow a body and sighs, “Why don't we just watch Frozen and call it a night?”

Roman sets down the movie case, “Virgil, are you okay? I know you did not just recommend watching Frozen of all things.”

He sighs, “Yes, I did. I know for certain it is something that won't trigger me or the rest of you and is lighthearted enough that Patton wont get nightmares from it.”

Logan looks at Virgil, his brows pulled together and shakes his head, “Virgil, please, you need to talk to us about what happened.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Virgil crosses his arms and pulls his hood up, “You have no idea what you are asking of me. You don't want to hear about it. I... I don't want to burden you... To hurt you.”

Logan crosses his arms, “Virgil, It is unhealthy to bottle up one’s emotions regarding trauma. If the emotions are ignored then healing is almost impossible.”

Virgil throws his hands in the air, “Well, maybe since I haven't healed I don't want to talk about it! And you aren't my therapists so it’s none of your business!”

Patton frowns, “We may not be your therapist, but we are your friends, and we want to support you and help you V. We care about you”

“I get that, I get that you care, but what do you want me to say? What do you want to hear from me? That I could feel my bones breaking and reforming, raggedly growing into existence? Tell you that they used to punish me by cutting off my wings when I did something wrong? To know that it has been so long since the last time they cut my wings off that I had almost managed to forget what it feels like? That they’ve done that to me almost 20 times and that it hurts worse every time? Tell you about the horrible memories I have of them breaking the bones in my wings as they were forming because they knew they would heal quickly and still hurt just as much as if they didn't heal so fast? Do you want to hear about how hard it is to sleep at night sometimes when I'm terrified of one of them coming in and cutting them off again? What do you want from me?” Virgil’s voice cracks and his breath catches as he starts to cry.

Patton wimpers, slowly reaching out to take Virgil’s hand.

Virgil pulls away from him and Patton retracts his hand quickly.

Virgil sniffs, “Sorry Patton, but I don't want to be touched right now.”

Logan stares at him, pain and regret etched into his face, “Virgil I, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you like that.”

Virgil shakes his head, “It’s okay, I know you were just trying to help.” He looks around, withering under the stares of the others. 

Paton looks at him imploringly, “We aren't going to hurt you Virgil. I promise.”

Virgil gives him a small smile, he knows that.

Roman nods, “We love you Virgil, and we want to protect you, we want to help you. We never want to see you in that much pain ever again.”

“I know, and I really appreciate that, but I don't think there’s anything you can do.” Virgil says with a sigh.

“Can... may I please hold your hand?” Patton asks

“I... I said I don't want to be touched right now Patton.”

Patton nods, “It’s just... I don't know what else I could do to help.”

Virgil shrugs, “You cant really help right now Patton. This isn't something that can go away in five minutes or after one therapy session. I need to work through this by myself.”

Patton deflates a bit at his words, “Oh. well... can I at least sit under you and lean on the couch? I just wanna be close to you V.”

Virgil smiles a bit, “You can sit with me Pat.”

Patton smiles and rushes to sit with him.

Virgil sighs, adjusting his position on the couch a little, “Why don't we just watch Frozen and move on for now? I... I just need some time.”

Roman nods, shooting him a sad half-smile as he grabs the movie and puts it in the dvd player.

They watch the movie in relative peace. Roman hums the songs under his breath, and Logan scolds him while Patton chides the two of them for talking during the movie which Logan counters as being hypocritical, and honestly Virgil finds it all a bit endearing. He feels safe here. So, when Patton starts crying when the movie ends, he lets his hand fall to the side for Patton to take.

Patton grabs it and rubs his thumbs over the back of it, kissing where it meets his wrist. He closes his eyes and focuses on making Virgil feel better. 

Virgil feels pain leaving his body and sighs, before he sees the frown on Patton’s face. When he does, he rips his hand away from Patton’s grip, “Pat no! Why would you do that?”

Patton looks up at him shocked and confused, “I... I just want to help”

Virgil shakes his head, staring at him scared, eyes wide, “You could’ve really hurt yourself Pat! Don't you ever do that again!”

Patton looks up at him kindly, “I'm fine kiddo, really. I mean I took a lot more when you grew them back in the first place and I was perfectly fine then.”

Virgil’s jaw drops, “Is... oh I'm going to regret asking this. Is that why you were crying?”

Patton shakes his head, “No, not at first!”

Logan groans, “Patton! We’ve talked about this!”

“Logan, you know-”

Roman interrupts him, “Padre, you’re gonna really hurt yourself someday and whoever you’re taking the pain from is going to feel guilty because of it!” Roman insists. 

Patton shakes his head, “I wont! I know my limits! Why do you think I didn't take all of Virgil’s pain when the wings were growing in? Why do you think I didn't try to heal him?”

Logan frowns, “One of these days something is going to happen to one of us and you aren't going to be able to fix it.”

“Don't say that!”

“It’s true.” He insists.

“No!”

“It isn't your job to fix everything Pat!” Virgil explains, “Some things... some people, we’re just broken and you can't fix it.”

Everyone goes silent.

Roman is the one to speak up, “Virgil, you’re not-”

“You don't know.” Virgil snaps, more venom in his voice than he intended, but he doesn't care. “You guys have absolutely no idea what I was like before... before the others screwed me up. When I wasn’t terrified of everything. I didn't always have these permanent bags under my eyes. I wasn't always this jumpy or antisocial or broken. I'm so broken I barely even remember what I was like before. I just barely remember a time where I was genuinely happy most of the time... when I didn't have wings. I'm just broken, almost always have been. You can't fix me.” Virgil grows quiet, hugging his knees close to his chest, staring at the others hesitantly.

“Virgil... I...”

Virgil shakes his head, “No, I don't remember what happened. I just remember a flash of light and searing pain and then I had wings. I'm just like this now.”

Logan swallows and carefully asks, “Is there anything else we should know?” 

Virgil  sighs and shrugs,“Well, I uh, I guess I might as well tell you everything at this point. So here goes nothing, I'm nonbinary and my pronouns are they/them.” Virgil pauses as the shock of what they admitted hits them. “I can't believe I just told you that. Uh, I'm going to go lock myself in my room now.” they sink out instantly, leaving no room for argument.

The room is left in a few moments of stunned silence.

“I'm going to go follow them.” Patton announces, getting to his feet.

Roman shakes his head placing an arm on Patton’s shoulder, “No Patton. We need to give them time.”

Logan sighs, “We messed up. We pushed Virgil when we should’ve waited for them to open up to us and now we are paying for it.” 

Patton frowns, “What do I do? How do I fix this?”

Roman sighs, looking sadly towards Virgil’s room, “You don't, not right now.” 

----

It has been two weeks and Virgil has not left their room, though they have taken the meals left outside their door and left the empty plates to be taken when they were done. 

Patton and Roman decide to go on an outing in the imagination that afternoon while Logan does research on things that might have given Virgil their wings. 

Slowly, dinnertime approaches and neither Patton nor Roman come back from the imagination. Logan makes Virgil and himself a sandwich and goes to leave the food outside of Virgil’s door when he sees a note has already been placed there. 

The messy green writing  reads, “Hello Virgil, I have captured Roman and Patton. They will pay for what you have done. Don't bother coming after them, when i'm done there won't be anyone to come for.”

Logan drops the plate in his hand, “V.... Virgil? Have you seen the note on your door? This is urgent.”

“No L, what is it?”

“It’s from Remus.”

Virgil swears, opening the door and coming out to see the note.

As they read it their face goes pale, “Holy shit.”

“It’s a trap” Logan mutters.

Virgil shrugs, “Obviously. But that doesn't mean i'm just going to let him kill them.”

“You aren't going without me.”

Virgil sighs, “Could I even stop you if I tried?”

“No.”

They already knew that, but they don't say so, “Well then, let's go save our family.”

Logan nods as they head off into the imagination, Virgil leading the way.

----

“No! Stop! Don't do this to him! Please!” Patton begs as Roman’s cries echo around the room. They are in a dungeon-like space, Patton is chained to the wall in a small locked cell with jail-cell doors.

Remus has Roman strapped to a table and is currently making small slices to the sensitive skin on his ears, hands, fingers, and face. 

Remus humms lightly, “Stop? Hmm? No, I don't think I will. I think I am going to carve my name into his forearm so he will never forget about me, about us!”

“No!” Patton screams, “No!”

“You’re right, I could do much worse. Why don't I stab him somewhere!”

“No, not him! Don't hurt him!”

Remus freezes, turning slowly to face Patton with a demented gleam in his eye, “Oh! so sweet wittle Patton likes getting hurt, huh? You want me to hurt you? Would you enjoy that?” he taunts, “Maybe I should give you a good whipping!”

Patton looks from Remus’s face and sees Roman’s look of horror. Roman shakes his head, trying to get Patton to back down.

Patton stares Remus down, “If it means you aren’t hurting Roman? Yes.”

Roman clasps his hands together, “Oh, how noble! You really are a good friend! I think I will take you up on that, but I'm not quite done with my brother yet. Why don't I give you some input since you’re so eager to talk, hmm? Where shall I carve my name into him, his forehead, his arm, or his feet?”

Patton opens his mouth to speak

“You know what I wanna do his feet. Sorry, If you’re faster next time you can choose!”

----

Logan and Virgil walk towards the other’s part of the mind, where Virgil knows their castle-like house, complete with fully equipped dungeons, lays. 

Logan notices the tenseness in Virgil’s wings as they move and frowns, “Virgil, are... are you sure you want to do this, to go back?”

Their wings bristle a bit, “No. I don't want to go. I never thought I would, but I will for Roman and Patton’s sake. And just so we’re clear, use he/him pronouns once we get there, alright?”

Logan nods, “That is understandable, but why are you doing this? Why would you put yourself into a situation where you have to see them again?”

Virgil sighs, “I can't let them get hurt like I did. And I sure as hell can't let them think I abandoned them, abandoned the family, without even trying to save them.”

Logan nods solemnly “I understand.” After a moment he adds the question he just dares to ask, “Does that mean you are no longer upset with us?”

Virgil blinks, but their pace doesn't falter, “Upet? No, I'm not upset. I forgave you guys for questioning me after two days.”

Logan hesitates and falls behind a step, “Well then why have you not left your room for two weeks?”

Virgil grimaces, “Because I... I’m scared that you guys are going to use the wrong pronouns or say something about how my identity isn't valid. I... I couldn't take that right now. Not from you guys, not my family.”

Logan gently lays a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, stopping him, “We would never hurt you like that V. Never. We all completely respect you and your identity and pronouns. We have had two weeks to practice using them while you were in your room. We rarely slip up now, and always correct each other if we do. We support you V. You do not have to be afraid. We are not going to reject you, especially not for this.”

Virgil can't help the small smile that rises to their face, “Thanks L. I needed to hear that.”

----

“Why are you doing this?!” Patton wails as Remus unclips Roman from the table having carved his name into each of his brother’s feet. 

Remus chuckles, “Normally I don't ever have reasons. But you're lucky, this time. I'm doing this to get back at Virgil for leaving us! I can't wait to try out my new toys on him! I left a note for him on his door! He should've seen it by now and be on his way.”

Patton’s stomach drops as Remus hangs Roman up in chains next to him and swallows the lump in his throat as Remus unlocks his chains.

“He... he hasn't left his room in two weeks. He isn't going to see that note.”

“Well, then I guess we just have more time to play before he shows up!” Remus exclaims with glee as he drags Patton out of the cell.

----

They see the castle on the horizon and Logan realises he has no idea what happens next, “What is the plan for when we get there?”

Virgil sighs, “We sneak in and you get them out while I distract Remus. Sink out to the living room when you have them. Then, when you guys are free, I will meet you back there.”

Logan quirks an eyebrow, “Are you sure that the plan will work?”

Virgil squares their shoulders and stares straight ahead, “It has to.” they admit, “I won't be able to forgive myself if it doesn't.”

----

Patton screams as the whip lands across his back.  His back which is already covered with welts and cuts and bruises from how much Remus has been “playing” with him.

Remus rolls up the whip and smiles as he examines his work. He runs a hand down Patton’s back, making him choke out a sob between his quiet tears.

“Oh, wow Patty dear, you really do take your pain so well!” Remus croons as he presses down on a particularly raised welt. Patton whimpers pitifully and lets out a cry as Remus rakes his nails down his back. 

Suddenly there's a knock on the door.

“Come in!” Remus calls happily, putting the whip away.

The door swings open, “Hey trash man.” 

Remus looks up with a smile to see Virgil walking into the room. 

Roman stares at them, eyes wide, clinging to the chains on his wrists, “Virgil! It’s a trap! Run!”

Virgil shrugs, “Of course it’s a trap. I would be surprised if it was anything else.”

Remus stares at them with a hungry look in his eye, “Oh, Virgil, what pretty wings you have.”

Virgil rolls their eyes, “What have you done with Dad here? Looks like you’ve been having fun with him already.”

Remus smiles and spins the table Patton has been strapped to so that he is facing Virgil, “I just finished giving him a nice and thorough whipping! We’ve been having a lot of fun today!”

Virgil nods slowly, trying to look impressed, “Nice choice. I see you’ve gone for targeting all the soft sensitive spots, some things never change, do they Dukey?” Virgil asks, looking up to see Logan sink out with Roman.

Remus shrugs, “Why try to fix what isn't broken?”

“Well, I think there are some better ways to... personalize your techniques to the captive, so while this definitely will work on everyone. It just would not be my go to for him.”

Remus steps forward towards Virgil, “Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

He steps even farther forward “Well, why not share what you’ve learned with dear old Dukey?”

Virgil takes a step back, shakes his head, and crosses his arms, “I already shared my wings with you, you're gonna have to earn it if you want anything more.”

Remus sneers, “Oh, those old things, those don't mean a thing.”

Virgil scoffs, “They kinda meant a bit to me. Cut the crap, why do you want my new wings so soon? Did you already finish the last set? Do I not taste good to you anymore?”

Remus sneers, “Your last pair was a bit chewy, it got stuck in my teeth.”

Virgil represses a shudder of disgust, “What makes you think these will be any different?” They ask, as they watch Logan gently sink out with Patton. 

“These wings haven't had the use of those last ones. The fresher the wing, the more supple the meat.” Remus says gesturing like a stereotypical Italian chef. 

Virgil turns up their nose, “Not gonna lie dude, that's disgusting.”

“Thank you!”

Virgil shrugs, “You’re not welcome, and you might want to check on your prisoners before you come after me.”

Remus stills, tilting his head dramatically. He spins around and shrieks when he sees the empty room around him.

Virgil sinks out fast, a smirk on his face.

“You stinking codfish!!!” Remus shrieks, “I’ll tear out all your feathers one by one!”

----

When Virgil finally makes it back to the living room, Roman has been laid on the floor with a towel under his feet. Logan has Roman’s head in his lap and is holding his hands as the princely side thrashes and screams.

Only then does Virgil realise that Patton is still not wearing a shirt, and crying.

Patton is kneeling at Roman’s feet, his hands are glowing, “I'm sorry. I'm sorry Ro. I can either heal it or make it feel better, but not both. I know it hurts. I'm sorry. I know. I'm sorry. I'm almost done. There. There, I’m done. It’s okay, you’re okay now.”

Virgil falls to their knees as the reality of what they just managed to do hits them like a freight train. Deep breaths in, one... two... three... four. Hold one... two... three-

Logan sighs in relief, “Virgil, oh thank god, you’re safe!”

Patton frowns, “Wait, what’s wrong?”

Virgil looks up and sees Patton reaching for them, “I'm fine.” they mutter, scrambling away from Patton’s touch. “Don't hurt yourself more for me.”

“Oh...” Patton pulls away, worrying his bottom lip in his teeth, “I.. V, I wasn't trying... I just wanted to give you a hug.”

Virgil curses under their breath, “I.. I'm sorry Pat. I’d like a hug”

Patton’s head perks up, “Really?!”

Virgil nods. 

Patton practically tackles them as he throws himself into their arms.

Virgil lays their hands on Patton’s shoulders to avoid hurting the emotional side. 

Safe, safe. I'm safe. Patton, Ro, and Logan are safe. He’s gone, Remus is gone. I'm okay. Virgil tells himself as the panic continues to press in.

Patton suddenly presses a kiss to Virgil’s forehead and for a moment, all the whirling thoughts in his brain stay still. 

“You came. You saved us... thank you.”

Virgil smiles, “Of course I did Patton. I wouldn't leave you two with him...”  they trail off stiffening up at the thought.

Patton strokes their hair, “Hey, V, we’re okay. We are safe, okay?”

Virgil nods. They bury their head in Patton’s hair, grounding themself.

When Virgil finally feels like their brain has stopped spinning, they sit up and Patton releases them from the hug.

“Are you with us again Virgil?” Logan asks.

Virgil nods, “Yeah, I'm back.”

Roman looks at them, soft and reserved, a look that Virgil rarely sees, “Thank you. I don't typically like being the one who is saved, but this time... I don't mind so much.”

Virgil shrugs, “Even princes need rescuing sometimes. Speaking of, how are you doing?”

Roman wiggles his hand in a so-so gesture, “My feet hurt a lot less now, but i'm still... dealing with seeing my brother again. Oh, about my feet, Patton I... I was wondering, did they scar?”

Patton nods, “Only a little.” When Roman’s face falls he is quick to explain, “I did my best to try to heal them in a way where you would have no scarring, but I just couldn't avoid it completely.”

Roman sighs and nods, “Okay... thank you for trying.”

“Of course, Ro.” Patton insists, shuffling forward a few feet to take his hand.

Virgil winces as they see Patton’s back, “Are you okay Pat? That looks... bad.” 

Patton freezes for a moment, “I... yeah. It was bad when I tried putting on my shirt, but uh... with nothing touching it i'm okay.” Virgil raises a skeptical eyebrow, “Why don't I get you a glass of water? I want one myself, actually we all could probably stand to have one.” Patton offers.

Roman nods, “I would like one. Thanks Padre.”

Patton smiles as he stands to get the water, “No problem kiddo.”

When Patton comes back Virgil feels like something is... off. Patton is acting a bit  strange, but not in any way they could describe. Their gut just senses something.

Patton hands Roman Logan and Virgil glasses of water to drink, keeping one for himself. But he doesn’t drink it. Virgil sniffs the drink suspicious and winces at the smell.

“Don't drink it guys! This isn't water!”

“What do you mean?” Logan asks.

“Just... smell it!” Virgil insists.

Logan does and immediately takes Roman’s cup from him, staring accusingly at Patton, “What is that?” 

Patton frowns at him, “It’s water, I swear! Why would I give you something other than water to drink?”

Virgil squints, “I don't know. Maybe you just wanted to lie about what you were getting us, Deceit.”

Deceit rolls his eyes as he flickers back into his own form, “Wow, you really are so smart.”

“Where is Patton?!” Roman yells.

Deceit chuckles, “Oh, don't worry about him. You won't be seeing him again.”

“Where is he?” Virgil demands.

Deceit shrugs, “Just hanging out in the lowest dungeon with Orion.”

Virgil’s stomach drops and they think they might be sick right then and there. 

Deceit sinks out with a smirk, “Good luck boys.”

Virgil does their best to actively keep themselves out of a panic attack and quell the nausea pooling in their stomach.

“I'm gonna go get him.” Roman yells trying and failing to sit up with Logan actively holding them down.

“Not alone you’re not.” Virgil sighs.

Logan struggles to keep Roman on the ground, “Roman... your feet!”

Roman rolls over to look at Logan properly, “You couldn't keep me here if you bribed me with a promise of getting a role as a gay disney prince.”

Logan sighs in defeat, “Fine, but i'm coming with you.”

“You both know this is a trap, right?” Virgil clarifies. 

“Oh, yeah.” Roman shrugs waving him off.

“You don't care?”

“No.” Logan shakes his head.

“Okay, well, I guess it’s time for another adventure” Virgil admits, swallowing at the nausea and panic. 

----

Patton curls himself up as tight as he can where he is on the floor, the crushed glass covering the floor cutting into the exposed skin on his arms, legs, ears, and even his scalp. He grimaces at the sharp pain in his back where his fresh welts and cuts protest at being stretched.

He does his best not to whimper as his back seizes up.

“Feeling comfortable?” a cold voice asks.

Patton does not answer. A sharp kick to his back makes him jerk in pain moving further on the glass.

“I said. Feeling comfortable?”

Patton whimpers, “No, master.”

The figure spits on him, “Good. Now don't stretch out. You won't like what happens when you do. Oh, and your friends, they’re on their way over.”

“No!”

“Yes! Soon you can all be together and we can all have fun playing with each other! Of course, Virgil will have to go, he deserves it, leaving us. Or we might just chain him up gag him, hang him from the ceiling, and let him watch. Either way, we will have you three all to ourselves, no taking turns needed. Remus can have his brother and Deceit... oh Dee and Logan will have a great time, at least Dee will. And as for you... you’re mine..”

Patton trembles at the thought. ”Why would you do this, master?” Patton asks, only just remembering to add the title at the end.

The figure growls and Patton squeezes his eyes shut, “I should punish you for talking out of turn, but I won't... this time, because at least you addressed me properly. As for why, well...” they chuckle, “You made me this way Patton, you should know why.”

Patton shakes his head, 

“Oh? What is this? You deny responsibility? Speak.”

Patton speaks boldly, though he is close to tears, “I didn't make you this way, you did that. I cannot control who you are, master. I sent you away because you were like this. I am not responsible for your actions”

The figure laughs, “Au contraire Patton, you sending me away only solidified who I am. I had the potential for change and you decided to abandon me to become more harsh and bitter instead of showing me love and compassion like you did to the others. That. Is. On. You.” He growls, kicking Patton’s back to punctuate every word.

Patton gasps, seeing stars as one last kick is aimed at his head, groaning as the pain sets in.

“Now.” The figure says, “What do you say for your punishment?”

“Thank you, master.” Patton mumbles as he begins to cry.

“Good. Now don't. Move.”

----

The trio come to a hallway and peek around the corner. There at the end of the hall in a room with an open door, they see Patton, laying on his side.

“It’s a trap.” Logan says.

“Yeah, what else would it be?” Virgil quips. “Sorry, that was harsh. I'm just a bit on edge.”

Logan sighs, “It’s okay, we all are. Let’s just get Patt and get out of here.”

They sneak closer, going down the hallway, hiding in doorways. Virgil struggles to hold back a gasp as they see blood beginning to pool around Patton. God, I hope he's still alive. They think to themself. If he dies I'd never forgive myself.

Suddenly Patton opens his eyes. Virgil makes eye contact with him and holds a finger to his lips, then moving his arms in a gesture for calm. 

Patton blinks hard twice, a no.

Virgil seems to understand and nods in response. They don't care that this is a trap, they want to save Patton.

Patton feels his stomach drop as he sees what Virgil is trying to tell him. They are playing right into Orion’s plan and he can't tell them. There’s nothing he can do. So he waits, eyes closed and muscles tense. He waits, dreading what will happen.”

“We know you’re out there.” The cold voice calls. “Why don't you come in and play?”

Patton freezes. 

A rock is thrown into the room and the floor buzzes as electrical pads zap the heavy object.

“What is that? A symbol of surrender?”

Another rock is thrown, this time it scatters to the other side of the room. It too is met with a shock and buzzing electricity.

“If you’re trying to figure out which parts of the floor are electric, all of the tiles surrounding that half of the room are pressure triggered. You cannot get to Patton without getting shocked. There is no way to save him.” 

----

Virgil groans inwardly as Logan and Roman bicker about what they could use to save themselves from the electric tiles. Logan is voting for thick rubber boots, Roman for a bridge of plywood. Virgil shushes them and gestures to their wings, themself, and then to Patton. 

Logan’s eyes grow wide, “No V, you're not strong enough yet.” He whispers frantically.

“I have to try.” 

Virgil walks up to the edge of the room and stares at Orion. He is standing in the back corner of the room, staring back with a pleased expression on his face.

“Oh Virgil, how nice to see you again my little stormcloud. Are you here to be the first sacrifice?” Orion asks.

Patton’s eyes snap open. Virgil no!

Virgil ignores Orion, “Patton. Hey, it’s okay, everything is okay. Do you think you have the energy to walk to me? If the room wasn't electrified I mean, could you do that for me?”

Patton swallows thickly and nods.

“Okay. Good job, Patt. You’re so strong. I believe in you. Stay alive for me butterfly, okay?” Virgil asks.

Patton’s eyes widen and he nods.

With that Virgil turns around and walks away.

“Where are you going? You just leave him here to die? You coward! You heartless fool, giving him hope when there is none!” Orion shouts after them. 

Virgil ducks back into the doorway with Logan and Roman. They close their eyes and focus. Their hands begin to glow slightly and when they feel the tension pop they exhale and drop their hands. 

Logan’s eyes go wide and he inhales sharply. 

Virgil knows they were successful when they hear Orion and Deceit’s screams.

“Where did he go?”

“He just disappeared!”

Patton smiles to himself as he looks at his butterfly form. He sneaks among the cracks in the tiles, crawling on the grout until he reaches the start of the hallway. Then he flies. He flies and the feeling is exhilarating, but it hurts so bad. The cuts and bruised muscles sending shards of pain through his body with every flap. Suddenly he finds himself floating in front of Virgil.

“Hey Pattycake. Time to take a ride. Come sit in my hair and hold tight okay?” 

Patton does as he is told, holding tight to Virgil’s curls as they sink out

----

They rise up in the livingroom and Virgil gently ushers butterfly Patton onto their hand and then onto the floor in the middle of the room.

“Ready?” Virgil asks.

Roman and Logan watch in awe as Virgil’s hands glow bright again. They see the tension build in his body, then suddenly, it's gone. And where there once was a butterfly lays Patton.

It seems everyone releases a sigh of relief. Everyone except VIrgil. They rush to Patton’s side frantic.

“Pat, hey. Hey, look at me? You’re okay, you’re safe now. We’re here.”

Patton looks up at them with watery eyes and a trembling lip, “Hurts... hurts so-o bad,” he sobs, breath hitching. 

“I know, i'm sorry Patt. I'm gonna help you with the cuts. I want to help you feel better. Okay?”

Patton nods.

Slowly, Virgil takes Patton’s arm, moving it towards themself.

Patton hisses between hiccuping breaths.

“I'm sorry.” Virgil says as they look over the cuts on Patton’s arm and realise they are in way over their head. They look to Patton, “Will you let Logan help me? I don't think I can do this by myself.”

Patton looks from them to Logan and back before nodding.

Logan steps forward, “Thank you Patton.”

Patton whimpers in response.

“What can I do?” Roman asks, looking a bit squeamish.

Virgil thinks for a moment, “You can set up a nice relaxation room for the four of us to hang out in while Pat recovers. Make it as cozy and comforting as possible.”

Roman smiles, “I can do that, for sure! One comforting recovery room coming right up!” Roman cheers sinking out. 

Logan nods, “Good idea.” He mutters, looking over the wounds.

Virgil shrugs, “I know he doesn't like blood and know we will want the room when we’re done.”

Patton whimpers, “Virgil, I don't feel good.”

Virgil turns to him, voice soft, “What kind of not feel good?”

“ ‘M dizzy, and my tummy hurts.”

Virgil nods, “Okay. Thank you for telling me. I can't do much to help that until we fix your cuts though.”

“ ‘Kay.” Patton sighs

Logan pulls Virgil close to him and whispers, “Virgil, those are symptoms of blood loss.”

Virgil nods “I know.”

Logan doesn’t release him, “We’re going to have to actually remove the glass from his side.”

“I know...”

“He is in no state-”

Virgil roughly pulls away from Logan’s grasp “I know, give me a minute.” they huff. “Hey, Pat?”

“Hmm?”

“You have cuts on your side under your shirt. We need to take it off, okay?”

Patton whimpers, “Don't hurt me, please.”

Virgil shakes their head firmly, “We won’t, we need to do that to help make it better.”

“Mmmm... okay.” Patton mutters hesitantly.

Virgil smiles gently and snaps Patton’s shirt away, “Thank you, Patton.”

The two spend a minute examining the wounds and realise there is no way they are going to be able to do the kind of work they need to do while Patton is awake. Logan fetches a sleeping potion from Roman and brings it back.

“Here Pat, drink up.” Logan offers.

“What is it?”

“It’s a sleeping potion.”

“Why am I drinking it? I don't wanna sleep.” Patton wines

Virgil sighs, “Pat we need to take glass out of your side and you don't want to be awake, it will hurt too much,”

Patton frowns, “Said you weren’t going to hurt me!”

Virgil takes his hand, “I know Pattycake, and this is us keeping our promise. We will help it get better but what we need to do is gonna hurt pretty bad, but only if you’re awake. If you’re asleep then it won’t hurt and we won’t be breaking our promise.”

“Does it taste bad?”

Logan shakes his head, “Roman said it tastes like cotton candy.”

Patton humms, “Kay.” He sits up with help from Virgil and drinks the potion.

When Patton falls asleep the two work quickly to remove as much glass as they can as fast as possible. 

An hour and several bouts of swearing later all the glass has been removed, the cuts have been sanitized, Patton has been patched up and his shirt replaced. They don't move him for fear of hurting him or waking him.

About ten minutes later, He opens his eyes and Virgil takes his hand, “Hey there Patton, glad to have you back with us.”

Patton smiles at him.

“We were able to get all of the glass out, okay? You should heal up just fine.”

Patton sighs and promptly grimaces.

“What’s wrong?” Virgil asks urgently.

“My back hurts.”

Virgil nods, “Okay. We have some ice packs and painkillers in the room Roman set up, why don't we head over?”

Patton nods.

They sink out and Patton finds himself laying on a pile of pillows in the middle of a room that has been turned into a giant blanket fort. 

“I'm gonna go to the bathroom.” Virgil says.

Roman rushes over as Patton shows up, “Patton, oh goodness, are you okay?”

Patton smiles up at him, “I’m okay. But if you have Advil and ice packs I wouldn't complain.”

Roman nods and summons the aforementioned items, “Here Pat, take the meds first.”

He does, smiling at Roman thankfully.

“Where do you want the ice packs?” Roman asks.

Patton thinks about it a minute, “My back, the shoulders and above my hips, please.”

Roman nods, “Of course Pat.” he says. He places the ice packs in place gently.

Patton sighs in relief, “Thank you.”

Roman sits above his head, “No problem, but Padre... your back. I... you shouldn't have done that. I could’ve taken more.”

“I know... but I couldn't stand to sit and watch him hurt you any longer.”

Roman moves to lay so he is looking at him, “Patton, I know you did it because you care, but I need you to tell me you’ll never do something like that ever again. Please, promise me you won't.”

Patton sighs, “I... I don't know if I can do that Ro. I would give anything to save you guys.”

Roman frowns, “The sentiment goes both ways Padre. I just... I need to know you will take care of yourself.”

“I... okay Ro. I’ll take care of myself. I... I promise.”

They sit in relative silence as Logan and Virgil return to the room.

Logan smiles, “Ah, I see you’ve already gotten the ice packs. Are they helping?”

Patton nods, “Yeah, they’re helping a bit.”

Virgil sighs, “Good. Tell us when you need new ones or want to move them, okay?”

“MmmHmm.” Patton says.

Virgil and Logan settle into the room, both of them situated so that they can see both Patton, Roman, and each other. Slowly they fall asleep, all except Logan. Logan stays up. He would say it’s because he is thinking, but truly he can't help but be a bit anxious. He stays up to make sure no harm befalls the family in their sleep.

A few hours later, Logan realises that it’s time to change Patton’s bandages. Begrudgingly he wakes Virgil first, and then Patton, letting Roman sleep.

“Time to change your bandages.” Logan whispers to him.

Patton grumbles, turning his face into the pillows under him, “Hmm.. can't you just snap and change them? I’m tired and everything hurts.”

Logan sighs, “I suppose, but first I want to be able to look at your back, okay?”

Patton frowns, “And if I don't let you see it?”

“Then I guess I'm changing them by hand and I’ll see it anyway.”

Virgil glares at Logan but Patton relents, snapping his shirt and the ice packs away.

“Here, just... be gentle... please.” Patton asks in a small voice, even for their whispering.

Logan has to hold back a gasp at the sight. His back is mottled with ugly bruises, a horrible painting of purples, blues, and reds. The mottling is broken up with lines of welts, some bruised and some not, ranging from the size of Patton’s pinky to an inch or so in width. 

Logan sighs and snaps the bandages off and new ones in their place. 

Virgil grimaces and winces as they take it in, “Patton, your back...”

Patton frowns, “What about it?”

“It... I... Would you let me help you with it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Let me take care of you. Let me help patch you up. I... I want to help.”

Patton looks at him hesitantly, glancing at Logan and Roman.

Virgil tilts their head, “We can go to your room if you want.”

Patton nods. 

Virgil takes his hand and they sink out together. 

They rise up in Patton’s bedroom and Virgil notices that Patton seems a little bit spaced out.

“You okay there Patton?”

Patton blinks up at them the words pulling him from his thoughts, “Oh, uh, I...” he sighs, “no.”

Virgil nods, “I understand. Would you like to talk about it?”

Patton sniffs a moment and nods.

“Why don't we do that while I help you? Hmm? You can lay on your bed and talk to me while I tend to your back and listen.”

Patton gives them a small smile and nods again, heading over and laying down on the bed.

Virgil joins him, summoning supplies for his back and making themself comfortable.

Patton whimpers as Virgil uncaps a tube of some sort, “What is that?”

Virgil closes it again and shows the bottle to Patton, “This is a bruise cream. It helps with swelling and calms both bruising and welts. It should feel good.”

Patton hums, “Okay, as long as it won't hurt too bad.”

Virgil shakes their head, “It won’t. I promise, I wont do anything to you that I wouldn't do to myself if I was in your position, okay?”

“Okay.”

Virgil squeezes a small bit of cream onto their hand and slowly gently applies it to Patton’s back. He flinches at the cold as the cream first touches him, but he relaxes back into the touch with a sigh and Virgil moves their hand. Slowly they rub the cream onto Patton’s back, applying it liberally.

Patton groans, “Thank you... thank you so much. It feels so good.”

“I'm happy to help.”

The pair sits in silence for a while until Patton finally finds the words to speak.

“He’s awful.”

Virgil sighs, “I... yeah.”

“How did you do it? All those years with them?”

“I...” Virgil takes a moment to find the words, “If i'm being honest Patt, I don't know. It was hard. There were times that I, well, I wanted to give up. I wanted to leave... walk into the subconscious and let myself fade away.”

“... Why didn't you?”

Virgil takes a moment to reply, “I... I don't really know. I guess seeing you guys, how you were so happy, how you... actually liked each other... I think I wanted that. I wanted to hope that maybe... if I could just hold on long enough...”

“You could be here, and we would accept you?”

“... yeah, maybe it could be better, and I was right. It is better.”

Patton hums. After a few more moments of silence he asks a different question, “Did you only come out of your room to save Roman and I?”

Virgil stills and blinks a moment, “No. I... I'm not going back when you feel better. I'm ready to be here now.”

Patton furrows his brows, “You... why did you... are you not angry at us anymore?”

Virgil goes back to applying the cream, “Oh... no. I wasn't really mad, I was... scared.”

“Scared?”

Virgil sighs, focusing diligently on the task at hand, “Yeah. I... had tried to come out to the others... before I started hanging out with you guys more. They... they reacted horribly to put it lightly and I couldn't help but be terrified you guys were going to do that and purposefully misgender me too. I don't think... I couldn't bear it if you did. I couldn't go back to the others though, so I decided to stay in my room, alone, somewhere I couldn't get hurt.”

Patton’s voice takes on a serious tone, “We would never misgender you or invalidate you or your gender on purpose!”

“I know Patton, I know. It just took me a long time to convince the voices in the back of my head that you’re right. I still haven't done that completely, but eventually they should shut up about it and move on to something else.”

“Hmm.” Patton winces as Virgil starts working on a particularly sore welt. “How do you do that? Make the voices in the back of your head stop telling you mean things?”

“Well, it depends on what they’re saying.” Virgil admits. “If they’re telling me things about you guys, then I will fight back with the memories I have with you. When I get the courage to, I then just either go and tell you guys what I'm upset about, or I ask questions that I know are vague enough to get me answers without giving anything away.”

“W-what if they’re telling you things about yourself?” Patton asks quietly.

Virgil stills a moment, “Patton?”

“Oh uh, not... not like I have experience or anything. I'm just... wondering.”

Virgil sighs and wipes their hand off on a towel, “You really aren't good at being subtle.”

“I... I have no idea what you mean!” Patton insists, his voice defensive, but just barely.

Virgil hums, “Whatever you say. To answer your question, when the voices are telling me things about myself I go to you guys and try to have a conversation with one of you, especially you Patton, because you are good at telling me off and making me feel a little more confident in myself.”

“And if that doesn't work?”

“You know what I do. I go up to you and tell you I'm feeling bad about myself and you all spoil me silly and shower me with compliments until I'm convinced that maybe the you mean it. That works 99 times out of 100. And in the small chance that it doesn't, my fears are gone by morning.”

Patton smiles halfheartedly, “I... I lied earlier.” he admits.

Virgil runs a hand through Patton’s hair, “What are the voices telling you Pat?”

Patton’s face falls and he sighs, “I... I don’t...”

“I cant help if I don’t know what’s happening, Pat. I know it hurts and I know it’s hard, trust me. But I need you to tell me.”

Patton sighs. For a moment Virgil doesnt think he is going to tell them, but then Patton speaks. He sounds resigned, defeated, nearly robotic, “They... they’re telling me I don't deserve to have you guys take care of me. I deserved to be hurt like I was... He was right, I... I'm worthless, a horrible person. I made him the way he is. It’s my fault he hurt you the way he did. He never would've been the way he is now if I had just tried a little harder, shown him more mercy. I am a despicable person. I... I-” Patton’s breath catches as he starts to cry. 

Virgil crawls around the bed to lay in front of Patton. They reach up and wipe the tears from Patton’s face, “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay to cry. But here is a secret you need to know Pat. Listen, the voices never tell the truth. Everything they are telling you is wrong. You aren't a despicable person Sunshine, and you sure as hell can't blame yourself for what that man did to me. You didn't deserve any of the things he did to you. You are a wonderful and beautiful person. You are kind and loving and forgiving to a fault. You deserve to be pampered just as much as the rest of us. You have a beautiful gift in your ability to notice when people are upset and know exactly what they need to make them feel better. You care so much for everyone around you and it is breathtaking.” 

Virgil brushes the hair out of Patton’s face as he looks up at them, “But Patton, you are more than your ability to care for others. I love the way you smile when you see a dog or a cat and the joy you have when you finish a coloring book or a painting. The way you like to dance and sing alone in your room to your favorite music so loud I can hear it in my room down the hall is adorable. It always calms me to see the sparkle in your eyes when you come up with a pun. I... I love you Patton. Don't you dare believe those voices for a minute, okay?” 

Patton smiles through the tears falling down his face, “You... love me?”

“Gosh yes Pat. I love you so much.”

Patton sighs fondly, “I love you too V. I... I wouldn’t have made it through the past few days if I didn't know you were going to come save me. You were my hope while I was in that dungeon, my lighthouse. I never want to lose you V.”

Virgil shakes their head, “You won’t. I promise.”

@yourhappypappypatton (you said you like Patton h/c and I thought you might like this)

@fluffieghosts (you told me to tag you when I write angst, and I think this counts as angst )

let me know if you don’t want to be tagged and I can fix it!

[the-sunshine-dims]

Little closets are the best places to hide

| chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5 |

Ao3

Words: 1475

Contents and warnings: Remus angst, abuse, verbal abuse, cursing, trauma responses, intrusive thoughts, unsympathetic wrath, abusive wrath, Remus typical,

—————

Remus had a problem.

Well, he had several problems—some oozing magnificently disgusting liquids, some steaming and puffing like a puss-filled volcano, and some occasionally taking over his bed and filling it with acids-o-plenty, making his blankets fizzle and pop as they burned until he finally cared enough to summon new bedding.

But this was a problem he did not like, and he very much did not want to share.

Because honestly? It was absolutely pathetic, he wasn’t some lightside, he wasn't emotional, he wasn’t weak, he didn’t get upset.

He just didn’t.

But still, every time Wrath so much as came into the room he was ready to bolt, instantly in the farthest corner away and doing his best to subtly check over exits to see which was the closest.

Because whenever Wrath came into the room that meant yelling, and not the fun yelling, not the irritated yelling as a result of his chaos nor the frustrated yelling as a result of someone else's chaos, or poor choices.

Instead, it was the bad yelling, the loud yelling, only aimed at him, when he did anything, or when he didn’t do anything.

He hated the bad yelling, and it happened almost every time Wrath was in the room, even when Remus had just walked in after being in his side of the imagination for a week. If there was any mess whatsoever, anywhere, even just a drying dish from breakfast it was somehow always his fault.

And normally he was fine being blamed, finding it incredibly humorous. But the more it went on the more it made his chest tight and just the idea of doing anything outside the small closet in his room he’d designated as his favorite place to hide in taste like tar in his mouth. the icky bad tar too, not the chewy fun tar he ate to freak the others out.

..Sometimes after a particularly bad week, a week in which Wrath decided just the idea of Remus was repulsive and he needed to make sure Remus was aware of his extensive disgust— so a truly awful and agonizing week, sometimes Remus just hid away in his room for weeks at a time, trying to be out of sight and out of mind, and just draw, or do anything vaguely quiet so he could distract himself, even though he was often so damn bored that it felt physically painful, and often he just felt like sleeping forever as the numbness seeped into his bones, but it was still the safest he felt.

And sometimes— late in the night because he knew as well as Remus how scary Wrath was— sometimes Janus would check in with him when he hid away, maybe every other night, sometimes even more frequently depending on his luck. bringing him dinner and snacks and just checking in on him, sometimes he would even stay for a couple of hours, hang out with him, letting him rant about his favorite gory ideas and vent about how truly awful Wrath was, and he would just.. be so nice.

And sometimes— more rarely but unfortunately not as uncommon as he would like, even then when Remus hadn’t touched anything, even when he'd been holed away for weeks, sometimes Wrath would still yell.

Sometimes he would shout at him to clean up so loudly it made his ears hurt, even when it was cushioned by the walls, sometimes he would be banging so angrily on the door that it scared him- banging so much Remus thought the door might break and shatter everywhere, shatter and splinter and impale him- shatter and splinter and impale him and he would be left to bleed out all alone, even without the unwanted presence of Wrath once he'd realized what he’d done.

There had been a point he’d even started trying to clean up, even if he hadn’t caused the mess, just any mess he saw he would clean up to the best of his ability, because he just wanted the yelling to stop, but even then it had just continued, in fact, two-fold with the extra angry shouts that he wasn’t doing it right, chastises for so much as existing— “god why are you always so stupid you can’t do fucking anything right—”

And what was more pathetic in Remus's opinion was it got to the point that every time he so much as heard the vacuum turn on, even from his room— even when he was annoying the light sides, his immediate instinct was to run.

Because every time the vacuum turned on that meant Wrath was cleaning up what he chose to believe was Remus's mess, which meant he would yell at Remus, which meant Remus had to hide, now.

Hide anywhere he could, if he managed it, his room was always the best spot, it had many special hiding spots in it and it had his noise-canceling headphones so he could just hide in his closet covered in as many blankets as he could find and just try anything to mute the awful ear-shattering, stomach-souring, yelling, as well as, in his room he could lock the door and block people from rising in, he could make it impossible to get in, even if they tried really hard.

But even if he couldn’t sink or run into his safe room he had to hide, sometimes he hid in pantries or blanket closets once he had even hidden in the relatively sizable cupboard.

At this point it was a survival instinct, if Wrath entered the room, the moment he turned away from Remus, he had to sink out. If Wrath looked like he was already mad, stay quiet and try and hide immediately, the sooner the better, there couldn't even be a second delay, he’d learned that after his wrist got slammed against the counter, it hadn’t been particularly hard but it had still hurt, a lot. And, If he heard a vacuum he needed to hide until he was sure it was safe, even if it took hours, and even then he should only really leave his hiding spot and move to his room or go to the kitchen to get food when it was late and Wrath was well asleep.

He honestly didn’t know what he’d done to make Wrath hate him so much, he hung around Janus most places he went and even Janus hadn’t yelled at him, though he had a lot of reasons too, even more reasons than Wrath ever had, Remus was loud, and brash and made so many lewd references before he could even think not too, he knew that must be annoying, but Janus dealt with it,

...why couldn't Wrath?

And sure sometimes his room was slightly toxic— never for long, it seemed to only get that way when people were going in there with him, guaranteeing he’d never show them any of the cool projects he’d made because if it was made in there it didn’t sound trustworthy.

...Which meant… Janus was slowly and steadily getting accepted, and Remus would happily go with him if given the option, which honestly the more he thought about it he may very well not get, as he was just finding more and more reasons for Janus to hate him, but if he did, and if that happened and he was even partially accepted he wouldn’t be able to hang out with anyone- if they did ever start liking him- in his room, which seemed extremely petulant especially in the way it made his heart sink into the pit of his stomach, but it was his safe space.

And it meant that Remus, the loudest, most uncontrollable, and chaotic side, would have to hide stuff, more than just in the presence of Wrath, and the existence of Wrath, he’d have to constantly hide his immediate fight-or-flight response to something as stupid as a vacuum, and he’d have to hide the way his chest felt like a stress toy with the way it squeezed to the point he could barely breathe when any of the sides raised their voice, even when it wasn’t even aimed at him, even when it wasn’t even unhappy loud, just plain old loud-loud.

And he couldn't even have his safe space if he wanted the craved semi-positive attention.

He’d have to hide so much, and he knew himself, he knew he didn’t have that much self-restraint, even if he did somehow not tell them, with his luck they would have an argument with each other and Remus would have a panic attack.

And Virgil knew panic attacks well, he'd know almost immediately.

Yeah, He didn’t like this problem at all.

He wished it could just go away.

He wished all of the yelling would just stop.

He wished it would be okay.

[thatgenderlessentity]

Virgil- The orange side's here! I saw him!

Patton- Virgil, there's no one else here.

Patton- You brought your sword in here? Are you OK? What happened?

Virgil- Orange side was here. In the Light mindpalace. He was in Thomas's living room, too. I saw his shadow on the floor.

Roman- What are you talking about? Who is the Orange side?

Virgil- The Orange side raised me in the Dark sides.

Virgil-He taught me how to read and tie my boots and how to subvert the enemy and be victorious in battle.

Roman- OK, sure. Parent stuff.

Virgil- No. Commanding officer stuff.

Virgil- ...

Virgil- And parent stuff.

Roman- Virgil, he isn't here. He was never here. It's not possible.

Virgil- But you don't know what he's capable of.

Patton- Sounds like this Orange side really did a number on you growing up.

Patton- But you're OK now. You got away from him.

Source: She-ra

[quietrainfan]

I think Patton would disapprove of Orange. Janus is the only one of the Others that he even somewhat tolerates, and he actively dislikes Remus. I think he'd try to paint him as the bad guy, even when Orange is making a very valid and true point. To the point that everyone else gets sick of it.

Logan slightly dislikes/isn't fond of him, but even he can tell Patton is just being ridiculous. He's never been one to ignore someone's point just because he isn't fond of them, and it would seriously irritate him to see Patton being so petty. Out of spite, he starts listening to Orange more and realizes; yeah he's a bit... odd, but he means well. And is a pretty decent companion.

Remus is just watching from the shadows, rolling his eyes at how long it took them to realize Patton is full of shit.

Virgil is just quietly in the sidelines. He knows Orange. He grew up with Orange, for God's sake. He isn't like Remus or Janus. He may still be one of the Others, but he's never been like them. He was always more gentle than the tree of them, kind, caring and soft spoken. He still knows his way with words, he still knows how to tease and joke, still knows how to be serious and solemn. What is Patton playing at?

Roman starts doubting because even he can see Patton is just making things up. Orange is still a "Dark Side", but he makes valid points, and is overall a nice guy. He's kind and helpful, cheery and doesn't have the snarky demeanor of Janus, Remus and Virgil. He's quiet and well spoken as well, never aiming to hurt with his words, and rarely does. He can see Orange is nowhere near what Patton paints him out to be, and starts doubting whether Patton truly has anyone's best interests in heart except his own.

Janus is scoffing.

Orange is just straight vibing. He knows Patton is being ridiculous and he knows everyone else sees it too. He'd enjoy seeing Patton back himself into a corner, and the others start giving him a fair chance. He sees Logan start spending more time with him, sees Virgil get less distant. He sees Remus get less dangerous and more playful with his pranks, sees Roman hesitantly and slowly get less cold. He sees Janus get more happy. Not what he expected, but he'll take it gladly.

Yes, yes, and yes! Also, since Janus is a protective big brother, you know he's ready to raise hell (literally) if he catches Patton trying to take advantage of Orange being soft spoken. Our snake boy, along with Remus, very much has the "protect the cinnamon roll" tag team going on.

Orange use to have really bad tantrums when he was younger, I mean really bad. Added with the fact he's a Dark Side and....yeah. A lot to handle would be an understatement. His abilities would go haywire during his outbursts. Like, we're talking things like hellfire, demonic cords playing, and cackling fireballs with faces bouncing in every direction imaginable. Janus always knew how to calm him down and comfort him when his outbursts turned into quiet sobs, Orange always clung to him because of this. Instead of being angry, Janus tried to understand him and why he reacted so extremely.

Patton uses the fact Orange had such horrific and scary tantrums in the past against him and as reasons why they shouldn't bother letting Thomas be anywhere near him. Orange hated those tantrums he threw and feels guilty that Janus and the others had to deal with it.

"He really should be sealed up somewhere. Wouldn't you agree? I mean we don't know what may set him off. Need I remind everyone of that one Christmas Eve he was let out."

[darklingduke]

tbh i love all the au ideas you posted so please ramble about any of them 👀

Ah! Thank you!

So I'm gonna pick my favorite of the story ideas in that list: Darkness Follows.

(TW: u!Patton mention, abuse, relationship abuse)

Basically, it's a Band AU that's got a bunch of different ships going on.

I've gone back and forth between using the Orange Side as the villain, or making it unsympathetic Patton for the villain. But in both scenarios, the villain is an abusive partner to Virgil, and is friends with Janus - the other bandmate.

Janus finds out that Virgil's partner is being abusive and immediately throws that friendship out the window because he refuses to tolerate any kind of abuse, and sides immediately with Virgil and calls the cops on the villain.

And the fic's got Virgil going through the healing process and stuff, and going through relapses where he goes to visit the abuser in prison and sympathizes with him and stuff. As well as learning how to be in a healthy relationship with Janus.

[starboy14176]

Remy adopts a bunch of dark boys

Remus

5’2

Only trusts Virgil

Sleeps like a cat

Terrified of Janus

Was mainly Treated as janus’ “pet” well in the dark side

Probably hasn’t slept in 5 mouths

Very under weight

Living off monster energy and adrenaline

Calms himself down by watching horror movies

Virgil

5’3

Very protective of Remus

Also sleeps like a cat

Hates loud noises

Virgil can use magic and control shadows, Janus used this to his advantage and trained Virgil to act as a weapon

Can’t sleep without checking to make sure Remus is ok

Very under weight

Caffeine addict

Obsessed with Tim burton movies

Remy

5’8

Very protective of his family

Sleeps frequently in Virgils room because Virgil has a lot of nightmares and having remy there helps

Would throw hands if anyone tried to hurt one of his boys

Remy is janus’ ex boyfriend

Has a stash of Camille tea for when on of the boys has a nightmare

Gets very worried about Remus when he doesn’t eat

Living off coffee

A romcom fanatic

Blaze

5’6

Only really cares about Remus

Doesn’t sleep

Acts fearless but really is afraid of Janus

Was manipulated a lot by Janus

When he does sleep he uses a weighted blanket

Stress eats

Iced coffee fan

Watches horror movies with Remus when he’s sad

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

What if Dee regressed while the others were filming dealing with intrusive thoughts and he couldn’t figure out why no one was around

(Sorry it took so long to write, I had stuff going on in my house today and I took a long break from writing today because I was too stressed out.)

Deceit woke up from his nap regressed and rubbed his eyes as he yawned, dragging his feet on his way to where he’d last seen Remus, his main caregiver, in the common room of the dark sides’ house watching a movie. He flopped onto the couch, expecting to fall into Remus’ arms, autopilot and regression turning his brain into a clingy, nonfunctional mush. 

Hitting the couch itself seemed to wake him from his post-sleep stupor and he looked around for Remus, expecting to have misjudged the distance he’d walked. But Remus was just gone, nowhere to be seen. He felt tears well up in his eyes and tried to summon him only to get the request denied.

He got scared. Silence through the whole house reminded him of Pink and Orange, how eerily quiet they were before they got mad at him. Reminded him of running and hiding and getting found and getting hurt. He didn’t want them here, he wanted Remus.

He tried again, more forcefully, at a summon only to get it rejected again and he began crying with a hiccup, running to the deepest parts of Remus’ closet, hiding within it with the creative side’s old clothes and childhood momentos in boxes. He forced himself behind the boxes, hiding away from the silence in the house with his favorite plushie as protection.

He didn’t know how long he’d been in there but it had to me a long time because it felt like forever hiding in the dark before he heard the closet door open and someone softly calling for him. He hid further away, quieting himself too easily and he looked over the figure entering the closet, shaking with contained tears as he got flashes in his mind of Orange with a big, broken smile on his face, laughing manically as he got ready to drag him off to Pink.

“Dee?” He felt his breath hitch and the figure whipped its head toward him and begin to move toward him.

“No, I’ll be good! Please, not again!” He tucked himself further into the corner, hiccupping as the figure moved back and sat on the floor with him.

“Deceit, breathe. You’re safe. It’s just me, Roman.” He looked at the prince, making sure it was him before he clambered around the boxes and burying into his arms.

“It’s okay, I’m here, I’ve got you. Roman assured him, rubbing his back.

“Ree wa’n’t there!” He sobbed out.

“I know. He’s very sorry he didn’t listen to you. He was filming. He’s looking for you in your room, okay? How about we go see him.” Roman asked. Deceit nodded but clung onto him, instead making grabby hands and hoping Roman didn’t hate him and would understand.

“Uppies?” Roman asked. He nodded and grabbed up at him. “Alright, up we go, little snake.” And Roman picked him up with ease, Deceit holding onto his neck with Cerys tucked into his other arm, face buried into Roman’s neck.

“Guess who I found?” Roman announced into Deceit’s room, Remus buzzing up straight and he worriedly came over, tears on his face.

“Oh thank god, you’re okay.” Remus hugged onto him and Roman sat them on Deceit’s bed.

“You weren’ there when I woke up.” Deceit whispered.

“Salem, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that was why you were summoning me. I didn’t mean to leave you alone.” Remus snuggled Deceit to his front.

“It’s ‘kay, Ree.” Deceit assured him, wiping off the intrusive side’s face of tears with his sleeved hands.

“You’re okay?” Remus asked.

“Got scared of Pink and Orry but I’m ‘kay ‘cause Ro found me.” Deceit took Roman’s hand, refusing to let him leave.

“Well Ro has to really brave then, saving you?” Remus asked.

“Ro’s the best uncle.” Deceit smiled at Roman.

“I’m sure if you asked him, Roman would stay for dinner, huh?” Remus assured him.

“Ro wanna have veggie nuggets and mac and cheese with us?” Deceit asked.

“Sure, kiddo.” Roman agreed.

That night the twins fell asleep with Deceit fast asleep between them on the couch, clinging onto Remus and holding Roman’s hand tightly, a new plushie buried in his arms and a blanket draped over the trio.

[irishspringsoap]

TDLR; I'm trying to find this fic I read ages ago (TW: Abuse, Unsympathetic Patton)

I never post anything but shit is driving me absolutely insane. I read this fic maybe a year ago and it was unfinished/discontinued but I still liked reading it. Now I can't find it (don't remember the name to use the way back machine) so I'm just gonna describe it and hope someone knows what I'm talking about.

Unsympathetic Patton but Sympathetic everyone else. Virgil was a light side but the drama between the dark/light sides was somewhat made up for show, the only person who truly disliked them was Patton.

Patton's like super manipulative and controlling and is always watching Logan, Roman, and Virgil. It gets to the point where physical punishments/abuse is involved so Virgil tries to get Patton to focus it all on just him because "One hurt side is better than three hurt sides" (only quote I remember).

It gets super bad for Virgil to the point where he doesn't even fully realize that what's happening is wrong anymore, Patton has fully convinced him that he's doing it to make him "good". He even cuts off Janus and Remus because Patton convinced him they were "bad". He's also constantly concussed and bruised with broken bones.

Logan and Roman start plotting to get help from the other sides who are completely unaware that Patton is like this. I think Roman hides a code in a poem and gives it to Remus and he and Deciet figure it out.

The fic left off with them defeating Patton and finding out that he wasn't actually Morality. I can't remember what his function actually was (maybe rage?), but he kept actual morality (the orange side) locked up in the subconscious.

At the end there's also Virgil covered in casts and fighting being treated by Emile (I think, it could've been Remy??) because Patton had taught him that he needed his injuries to stay unhealed because he was still "bad". They all end up having to restrain and sedate him when Janus and Remus walk in/he realizes they won't let him see Patton.

If anyone knows the name of this fic, please lmk! I've been looking for it for ages

[sidespart]

The Fall of King Romulus Part 2

Summary: Twin Princes Remus and Romulus are cursed at birth with Honesty and Obedience. When Romulus, who cannot disobey any order, is told to kill his brother the next time he lays eyes on him, he changes his name to Roman and runs away. Roman joins up with a misfit group of adventures and plans to never return to his homeland. But the fae have other plans for him...

Warnings (for whole fic not necessarily individual chapters): Violence, mind whammying/memory altering, curse of obedience related consent issues, references to sex, references to war related injuries/PTSD, references to child abuse/neglect (YMMV on that one but just in case), antagonstic-but-not-exactly villian!Janus, Extremly-moraly-dubious-but-not-exacty-unsympathetic-Remus

Pairings: Mostly Platonic LAMP and all the found family feels. Could be read as pre-slash. 

Prologue     Chapter 1  

“Young Sir! Come look at this! A beautiful gift for your sweetheart, no?”

Logan bit back a curse as Roman, once again, slipped form his side and almost skipped towards the merchants stall.

They had finally left the forest earlier that morning. Barley a quarter- mile beyond the tree line the path merged with the great eastern road, already heaving with traders wagons heading to Steveange for the monthly market. Roman had gone to work immediately, finding an exhausted looking couple and charming them into exchanging a ride in the back of their cart for a selection of songs to soothe their gaggle of bored children.

Even Logan, no lover of music, could admit that Romans voices was objectively pleasing. Even the wailing baby settled down under the effects of his lullaby.

The closer they got to the city gates the more densely packed the road became, to the point where their pace might have been improved by walking. But the rest was welcome and the sun was still high in the sky by the time they had finally made it to the city square. They might even have made it to their target in good time, had Patton not insisted that they stay to help the family unload every box and crate from their cart before moving on.

Patton stood nearly seven foot tall, with shoulders to match and the patience of a Raspanzean monk. Moving him when he had decided not to move was difficult at the best of times.  Currently, with a good deed in need of doing and no less than three small children clambering all over him, it was going to be impossible.

Logan looked at Virgil for support.

Virgil was already manhandling the smallest sack of produce down from the cart, under close supervision of a surly looking nine year old.

Logan looked back at Patton. Patton had somehow acquired a fourth child, and was swinging the small boy gently back and forth with one giant arm.

Logan sighed.  

Eventually they agreed that Patton and Virgil would stay to help the family, and then set about finding the four of them somewhere to sleep. Logan and Roman would head down the main street, complete their mission and return with, hopefully, enough coin to let them settle here for at least a weeks rest.

Which Logan would have no problem with. Except that the monthly market seemed far larger than when Logan had visited the city as a young apprentice. The city square was packed with stalls filled with meat, produce, spices and enough live animals to generate a stink so strong even Patton and his twice broken nose winced. The main road meanwhile was filled with more temporary looking stalls offering books, jewellery and potions of every colour alongside the usual clothing and home wear. These continued the whole length of the road from the square to the city temple and even spilled over into the side streets and thoroughfares of the city proper.

All of which apparently meant Roman couldn’t walk for more than two minutes without stopping to gawk at whatever gaudy display was on offer or chat with the seller.

“Roman!” he caught up with the wayward bard at a jewellers stall, where a heavy set man with salt and pepper hair was holding up an extremely impractical looking necklace for him to inspect

“Oh there you are specs” Roman grinned at him, “have you seen Master Galvenets wares? Look how shiny!”

“Is this your sweetheart?” The jeweller – presumably Master Galvenet – grinned at Logan with far too many teeth and reached below the makeshift counter top, “Then may I suggest this one instead – to match his  eyes?”

The necklace he presented was even bigger than the last. With blue glass masquerading as the sapphires surrounded by enough ostentatious filigree to decorate a dukes bed chamber. Logan stared,  momentarily struck dumb by his own disdain.

Roman nudged him, waggling his eyebrows and giving him a lecherous grin “What do you think sweetie? It does match your eyes.”

Logan blanched. Turning quickly to the seller her snapped out “We are NOT together. And also - we’re, extremely poor. And not interested.”

He grabbed Roman’s wrist and proceeded to drag the giggling bard with him back towards the main street. “Can you try to focus?” Logan glared at him, “remember this package is time sensitive.” Superstitiously, Logan patted his pocket, feeling the shape of the vial they had been entrusted to transport to Steveange still safely stored inside.

Roman failed to look chastened. “Logan, it’s a herb. And we we’re asked to deliver it within a week – it’s only been five days! Your forest short cut worked, alright, the worlds not going to end if we stop to appreciate some fine wares on our way.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “You consider Master Galvenet’s works, ‘fine wares’?”

Now Roman had the grace to look a little sheepish “They had a charm of their own.”

Logan hmphed. “They were very clearly fake.”

“Oh?” Roman linked their arms together, tugging him back into the steady stream of south bound shoppers, “How could you tell?”

Logan told him.

The ensuring lecture took them the rest of the way down main street, and into the rabbit warren of alleyways that branched out behind the city’s temple.

Even here, there were traders. Many had their wares spread out on blankets on the ground instead of stalls, but they seemed less inclined to call over whilst the two of them walked together deep in discussion and so, mercifully, there was less opportunities for Roman to get distracted.

“A festival?” Roman suggested. Logan shrugged, it was possible, something was certainly occurring to draw such an enormous throng.

Eventually, Logan had to admit that his boyhood memories were not enough to navigate every twist and turn of the city streets and Roman stepped away from him to ask a couple for directions. Logan took the chance to study him, but whatever fit of irrationality had led to him wandering back through half the forest the previous night seemed to have past. Even the scratches on his hands and arms had healed almost completely overnight, helped along by a generous slathering of healing salve from Virgil.

(Logan had, at the time, pointed out that the healer was using up rather a lot of their  dwindling supply for an extremely minor injury. Virgil had hissed at him)

Roman was often contradictory. He would spend a day whining about his need for beauty sleep but then stay up till the early hours to fulfil every song request from whatever crowd they managed to gather. He fussed with his makeup and performance clothing as much as a lady at court, but kept his hair cropped unfashionably short and made no effort to seek out high class patrons who could have kept him in silks and finery. He was talented enough with a lute to spend the social season entertaining upper class lords, and talented enough with a sword to spend the rest of his time as a body guard or becomes some towns local hero. Instead he travelled with them.

“You know, I’m fairly sure there were some gentlemen painting miniatures on the main road, if you want to keep staring at me that is.”

Logan flushed, caught. “Don’t be insufferable.”

“You don’t pay me enough for that” Roman grinned cheekily.

This was an old joke. Virgil had originally found Roman, and hired him as a body guard and escort for a three day trip through a bandit ridden mountain pass. Three weeks and many diversions later, they had emerged on the other side of the mountain. Roman had become as much a part of the group as any of the others and had stayed to travel with them as a friend rather than a hire.

Logan was glad of it. Most of the time.

“Did you get the directions?”

“I did, I had to ask three people before I found someone who recognised the address – the city’s full of tourists!”

 *

 The woman who opened the door looked like the word crone ha been invented especially for her. Her grey hair stuck out from a shoddily tied scarf and her face looked like at any moment it might collapse under the weight of her own frown. She scowled at the pair of them, looking like she already learned everything there was to know about them from one glance and found it all spectacularly unimpressive.

“What do you want?” She snapped.

Logan resisted the urge to smooth down his waistcoat like he was presenting to a lecturer and stepped forward.

“Good afternoon. We have been sent by Madam Valarie to –“

This, if anything, seemed to make the scowl deepen.

“My sister? What does that witch want?”

“To deliver you …this”

With a flourish Logan produced the vial and held it aloft. The thin shaft of light spilling from the doorway made the red herb glow a burning orange in the dim of the alley.

“And you think I’m dramatic.”

“Shush.”

Needlessly dramatic or not, he had the woman’s attention. She reached towards the vial with trembling hands but Logan drew back before she could make contact.

“Your sister paid us half, with the promise of the second half on delivery.” Reaching into a different pocket  he produced an envelope and held it out. “She told us to give you this – it should validate our story.”

The woman muttered something decidedly uncomplimentary under her breath but accepted the envelope. Without speaking further she turned and retreated into the hovel, leaving the door open behind her

The two men exchanged a glance, and then Roman deftly stepped around Logan to walk in first, one hand on his sword.

He needn’t have bothered, the short hallway opened up to small kitchen, where every conceivable surface was covered with books, scrolls and bric-a-brac. Three of the four walks were taken up with shelving where kitchen ingredients and appliances sat shoulder to shoulder with  ornaments, candles and what looked like half a taxidermy ostrich.  

If the old woman had hired muscle ready to take to leap out and take the herb by force, they would have had a hard time finding space to stand.

“My sister claims this was picked under the glow of a full moon.”

Logan nodded, “that is what we were given to understand.”

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, “For this to be worth the price it needs to be used within ten days of the moon’s glow, my sisters village is two weeks ride away on the eastern road.”

“We came through the forest.” Logan explained, “Also, I sealed the herb in a pre-sterilised sample jar – the lack of air exposure should help it retain its freshness far beyond its normal time frame!”

The was a silence. The woman was now looking at Logan not with suspicion, but with the exasperation of a teacher whose student has just said something rather stupid.

Logan crossed his arms.

“If you look at the specimen carefully you will notice no discoloration or other signs of degradation – this method can be used to prolong the lifespan of most vegetation and-“

She interrupted him by laughing, an awful crows call of a noise, and held up a hand for silence.

“You are obviously quite uneducated.” she told him cheerfully “And you are bothering Mittens.”

“I beg your pardon I- wait what?”

“YOWCH!”

Logan spun round, as much as he could in the cramped space, only to find Roman desperately trying to relinquish a scrambling ball of fur back onto one of the high shelves. The cat had already dug its claws deep enough into the bards wrist to draw blood, and was currently clinging on for dear life as Roman waved his hand around like Patton trying to kill a spider.

“My apologies Master Mittens” Roman told the cat a few moments later, after Logan and the crone had  finally convinced it to release him “I thought you were a hat.”

“Why must you touch things.” Logan hissed and was surprised by a much gentler laugh from their hostess.

“Aw now,  Mittens is not the most dangerous thing you could have touched in my kitchen. Here. Drink.”

Logan blinked as she shoved hot cup into his hands. Its contents was extremely dark and disturbingly viscous. A few drops glopped over the side, singeing his finger. He held it as far from his body as he possibly could.

“And for you?” She held up a second cup towards Roman who smiled politely but shook his head ‘no’

“No thank you, Madam.”

“We’re both fine.” Logan said firmly, putting the cup down on one of the first patches of exposed surface he could find. “If you wouldn’t mind completing our transaction we will take our leave of this…place.”

She looked at him for one long moment and then turned back to Roman.

“Your friend says you passed through the Serpents Forrest”

Logan frowned - “That’s not what the locals called it.”

“Well that’s who lives there.” The crone snapped without turning around, “One of the darker fae. I’m not surprised he” – she jerked her chin back towards Logan – “ got through alright, since the gods look after fools.”

“Excuse me!”

“But how did you manage?”

Roman juts shrugged, eyes sparkling with mirth at Logan’s outraged expression. “We saw no one Madam, but if we had done - I carry iron.”

That rusted hunk of junk Logan thought, but the crone was nodding approvingly

“A clever boy” she patted Roman cheek, “I thought so when I heard your accent – you’re from beyond the mountains.”

Logan frowned. He was not gifted when it came to interpreting expressions, but he thought Romans smile had suddenly become very fixed.

“So are you.” Roman replied softly.

There was a moments quiet whilst the two looked at each other and Logan tried not to roll his eyes out of his own head. All they needed to do was a simple swap of coin for produce and instead Roman had manged to find the only other grown adult in Steveange who still believed in fairies.

Whatever northerner to northerner communication was happening seemed to pass, and the crone reached past Roman to pull a small burlap sack from the shelf. Mittens took the opportunity to skitter across her arm and settle himself on her shoulder.

“Here you are then.” She tipped the sack out on top of an open tome, producing three cloves of garlic and a hefty pile of coins Logan couldn’t help but stare. That was more money than Logan had seen in one place since he had started traveling.

The crone picked out three gold pieces and a fistful of silver and handed them to Logan. He counted quickly and handed her the vial. Transaction complete, Logan headed immediately to the door, but turned back when he realised Roman wasn’t with him

He was still trapped between the crone and the shelving. “Will you come and see me before you leave the city?” she asked “It would be nice to share my tea with someone who would appreciate it.”

Logan thought to the gelatinous mess in the tea cup and gagged but Roman just smiled

“If time allows my lady.” He brought her withered hand to his lips and deposited a courtly kiss before sidestepping her and heading after Logan.

The city alley smelt almost like fresh air after the over mixture of incense, garlic and cat that her permeated the crones kitchen, and Logan breathed it in gratefully before setting off. Roman falling into sept beside him.

Logan glanced at him, uncertain.

He knew Roman was from the Northern Kingdom. He guessed from his speech patterns that he either grew up upper class or was truly committed to his larger than life bard persona. He had mentioned a brother once, off hand, and during an argument compared Logan to a tutor he’d disliked who had made him study maps until he could recount every river on the continent by heart.

That was all he knew.

Logan was curious by nature, a trait which tended to get him in trouble. He would have liked to pepper Roman with a hundred questions about life beyond the mountains, but Patton had told him once he should only ask a question about a sensitive subject if he was prepared to answer one himself.

None of them like to talk about where they came from, but that was fine. They were going forward together.

It was obvious though, that meeting his countryman had shaken Roman. He walked silently, even when they turned into a wider street and found the market still in full swing, shoppers crowding around each stall, he made no comment, only stepped closer to Logan.

If he was Patton, he might have known what to say to sooth whatever emotion was clouding Romans features. If he was Virgil, he might have made a joke or pointed out an interesting stall  to distract him

As it was..

“So do all Northerners believe in fairy stories or is it just you two?”

“What?”

“The dark fae of the forest? She can’t have been serious.”

Roman straighten up, fixing him with a mock glare “Logan! You’re honestly going to keep pretending you don’t believe in magic? You travel with an elf!”

“Half-elf. And there’s nothing mystical about him.”

“He makes potions Logan!”

“He mixes herbs into useful medicines, it’s no different than any human herbalist.”

“He chants when he does it. And his eyes do that thing.” Roman wiggled his fingers in front of his face, apparently to illustrate ‘that thing’.

“Which I’m sure helps him know how long each concoction needs to stew before adding the next ingredient. You cannot decided a race is magical just because they’ve failed to invent clocks.”

“Urgh!” Roman threw up his hands, “Sometimes you sound like you’re from Arkaze’yed.”

Arkaze’yd was on the western coast. The most industrially advanced of the great cities, they had recently converted the city temple into an extension of the university.

Logan preened. “Thank you for the compliment.”

Roman pulled a face. “You are such a - ooh! Jam tarts!”

He darted away again, but this time Logan couldn’t fault him. A boy was hastily unpacking a crate of what looked like fresh jam tarts onto his masters stall and the scent was delicious

They had to wait for three families ahead of them before they could finally have their turn. Roman picked out four of the tarts and chatted happily with the seller whilst Logan carefully counted out the money.

“I had herd the monthly market of Steveange was something to behold but this! Are you going to go all night?”

“Most likely.” The trader told them happily, “The towns packed for the coronation.”

“Coronation?”

“Princess Stephanie is to become queen,” the man gushed, one hand over his heart in what Logan considered to be an alarming display of emotional royalism. “The guests have been arriving all week.”

Logan nodded absently. That explained the hubbub. The rich went traveling and the poor went to see them. A coronation was a good enough excuse for a festival. If you liked that sort of thing.

“They say,” the trader whispered leaning forward, apparently unbothered by Logan’s total lack of interest in royal gossip, “That even the mad Prince is coming - Remus of Notaleveale!”

“Is that so.” said Logan, monotonously “Here’s your coin.” He turned to Roman to claim his pastry and – stared.

All the colour had drained from Romans face. He gaze was fixed on the trader, his eyes so wide he looked quite wild.

“Roman?” Logan asked, as gently as he could. He realised that Romans hands were shaking the second before the bag of pastries fell from his grip.

“Roman- ROMAN hey-“

Other customers were starting to push between them, Logan bent down quickly to rescue the bag form the floor and reached out to grab his friends hand.

But when he looked up, Roman had gone.

Part three

[imma-potatoo]

Oh? I has been summond?

Wheels on the Bus is Patton reacting to the chaos of the mindscape. Truly hilarious to think about fhhdbfbbgf

Class Fight can be? Perhaps? Creativitwins? Kelly!Roman? Roman gets all the attention, all the love from the other sides. He easily steals the man Remus fell in love with. He gets tired of it. He asks "mom", aka, Janus what to do. Virgil pitches in to go for the throat.

Detention is Virgil. "I'm not a bad guy. So don't treat me bad, if you're feeling sad, alright." 100% Virgil.

Nurses Office is Janus bailing from school by manipulating the awful staff, because they hate him.

Highschool Sweethearts is u!Roman. The self-centered nature fits well with the egotistical bastard Roman would be if he was unsympathetic.

Strawberry Shortcake is Patton, possible abusive Royality with u!Roman? Perhaps he was manipulated by his highschool sweetheart?

Lunchbox Friends is also Remus. He doesn't want anyone who'll duck out and abandon him like Virgil did.

Orange Juice I haven't thought about nearly as much. It gives me Janus vibes, whether he's the one the talking to the Bulimic side, or perhaps he IS the one with Bulimia is entirely up to you.

Drama Club is Logan, 200%. "Everyone's so soft everyone is so sensitive. Did I offend you? You're hanging on your sentences." Dammmmmn hrhfhhtjrjnt

Show and Tell is also Logan. The lines smack me in the face everytime I hear them.

Teachers Pet is Janus. I imagine him falling in love with the teacher and killing him in the end...be stairs homicide-

The Principal is a mix of Logan and Janus. Perhaps after the events of Show and Tell and Teachers Pet, or before? Yes <3

Recess gives me Janus vibes. I also associate it with Remus. Like after everything, he really learned not to let people fuck you over.

Fire Drill is also Remus. He wants to live his own life, and wants you too as well. He's not the fucked up men after all.

I- holy shit YES!!!

This is so good Logan holy shit

I honestly can't say anything to make this better tbh..

[themysteryofwriting]

Masterpost

Sanders Sides OneShots

What Happened Before Accepting Anxiety - what I think happened that caused Virgil to sink out

The Creativity Split -my interpretation of the Split.  Warning for slight U!Pat and gaslighting

Analogical Clothes Prompt - some fluffy Analogical with Logan stealing Virgil’s clothes

Moceit No Mom prompt - fluffy Moceit prompt with a bit of demiboy Patton or Patton in a skirt where Patton is oblivious til the end

Royality short Pat prompt - no further explanation needed

Can’t You See It - Analogical One Shot. Virgil wants the others to know about how loving Logan is...and that he’s a giant memelord.  Is that so bad?  Hints of background Roceit And Remus being himself

Who say you have to leave your past behind you - my first one shot with Rachel. Some stuff has changed about her since this but it has a special place in my heart.  Hinted at Past U!Pat and Remus being himself. Dee speaks in lies ofc.

This is the Worst Ending - oh boy.  okay this is what I call my angst :tm: If you are senstive to any of the following: don’t read Unsympathetic Patton, multiple major character deaths, blood, Sayori like scene, string imagery, gore, depression, brainwashing, emotional manipulation,murder, strangulation, eating disorder(kinda), stabbing, gaslighting There was a part 2 but......it didn’t last long, i wasn’t proud of it

Puppet!Ray Origins - the first part of my fnaf au! (i literally only have this part and the end so far).  Warnings for U!Pat (he’s Afton), along with child death. However some cute Logan and Ray interactions

Puppet!Ray: End of Everything: continuation of FNAF AU.  This time the Henry scene at the end of FNAF 6.  The fic I got to use the tag ‘is it still fluff if everyone dies’ on.  TW: Hinted Unsympathetic Patton because of who he replaces

And They Were Roommates - a hurt/comfort fic writen for the sanders gift exchange last year.  LAMP fic, nonbinary Dee, college AU, supportive boyfs all around

Prinxiety Prompt - takes place post DWIT, Virgil and Roman talking/flirting

Moxiety, Mobster Patton - again, nuff said.  no death, actually pretty fluffy for the prompt.  maybe a little kidnapping?

Movie Night: cute fluffy LAMP

Logan Prevents A Murder: QPP Analogical, Virgil debating murdering Roman

The Bane of Protectiveness: Ray was there when Roman....and she couldn’t stop him   TW: Suicide, Self-deprecation, self-hatred

MM3: The Murder: based of a Murder Mystery from a discord server, how Talyn’s death played out  TW: death, murder, vomiting, planned murder, drugging a drink, Unsympathetic Logan

How Ray Became Anxiety: Little clip from an au of mine where Ray becomes anxiety, along with keeping protectiveness. TW: character death, Virgil ducks out, Patton and Roman are jerks

Fighting the Dragon Witch isn’t Therapy: after POF, Roman will do anything to prove himself  TW: Temporary Major Character Death

Random Fandom One Shots

Peter Meets Angel - short one shot about my oc meeting Peter (Marvel)

Mitsue Goes Off:  Mitsue was already having a bad day, so when the LOV kidnaps her, she’s going to give them a piece of her mind (MHA)

We Have Mic - Mic gets kidnapped, Aizawa has something to say bout that (MHA)

Scar to Remember - Overhaul left a mark on Mitsue (MHA)

Demise Of A Gamer (DR) - Chp5 of SDR2 from Chiaki’s Pov

Friends Protect Each Other- Tubbo goes to visit Tommy during his exile...and finds Dream with him  TW: manipulative Dream

Original Writing

Saving The Moon - a short story I wrote for a contest a few years back

Never Trust A Newbie- short story written for a writing camp

The Hug Wizard- if you know, you know

Spiritfarer Hug Wizard: o w o

Soulmates Don’t Have to Be Romantic (finished :D )

my platonic soulmates series, starring my oc Ray

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Soulmate GC

Based off my soulmate story, a gc with the members messing w/ each other. Crack fic.

Chp 1

Chp 2

Bad Things Happen Bingo

The Collector - Logan collects people. TW: U!Logan, Kidnapping, Taxidermy on a person, blunt force trauma, character death, implied use of a date rape drug, major character death

Pressure Doesn’t Always Make A Diamond: Reminding a side for their mistakes was never a good idea.  Especially when they feel guilty about it like Patton did.  TW: Unsympathetic Deceit, Unsympathetic Logan, constant guilt-tripping, self-hatred, self-deprecation, blaming someone for something that isn’t their fault 

 He’s Not Yours: Patton’s parents....aren’t the best  TW: emotional abuse, yelling, numbness

Keeping Them Pure: Patton just wanted to make sure his kiddos wouldn’t get corrupted by those nasty dark sides  TW: Unsympathetic Patton, Kidnapping, Forced holding, chains

The Past Can Haunt You: Remus keeps getting left by those he cares about  TW: Abandonment, Self deprecation, Childhood Trauma,  the split, implied unsympathetic light sides

Snakes Don’t Like the Cold: Dee is part snake...so what happens when he gets trapped in a freezer  TW: Unsympathetic Roman, locked in a freezer, hypothermia

All It Takes Is One Mistake: It’s very easy for the Ego to crack  TW: Roman angst ,cracks, roman needing to talk to people

A Game of Paranoia: Something seems off to Rantaro as he goes through this game

You Just Need a Push to be Good: Patton couldn’t let those dark sides keep corrupting Thomas  TW: Unsympathethic Patton, using shock collars as punishment

‘I’m Fine’ And Other Lies: Introduction of Mitsue, my bnha oc.  Mitsue gets hurt in a fight and doesn’t realize how bad it is until it’s too late  TW: mention of blood, hospitals

They Never Saw It Coming: a small one shot with my own sides.  Warning, the title is a really bad pun.  TW: graphic eye injury

The Collector: What Happened Before: a sort of prequel to The Collector, Patton thinking over what happened TW: hypnotism, mind control, U!Logan

Replaceable?: takes place post POF, Logan’s reaction to what Janus did 

Those Left Behind: Ray was there when Virgil left them

You’ll See: From my given to Overhaul AU: Why Mitsue works with Overhaul  TW: Forced Starvation, Kidnapping, Parents not caring

Why Roman���s Sword Isn’t Allowed In the Common Room: All I’m gonna say is this is not as much as a crack fic as it sounds. TW: stabbing, coughing up blood, fighting

Scar To Remember: Mitsue wasn’t left okay after Overhaul got a hold of her

We Have Mic: Someone kidnaps Mic to get to Aizawa.  TW: Kidnapping

Don’t Hurt Ray Or Else: Even while with the lights, Virgil is going to protect his sister  TW: Morally Grey/Unsympathetic Patton, Outing Someone, not Accepting someone,  Transphobia?, mentions of fighting someone

Even In The Face Of Death, Logan Ignores His Feelings - a day to relax goes wrong when Remus decides to mess with Logan  TW: blood, stabbing

Trapped- Virgil gets kidnapped while out in the imagination.  It doesn’t go well. TW: kidnapping, panic attack, flashbacks, claustrophobia, implied pranking, implied fighting

Who Knew Sleep Paralysis Could Be Deadly?- Talent Swap AU with Makoto and Kyoko  TW: stabby stab, K-nife, sickness, sleep paralysis

Kokichi’s Sacrifice - Kokichi’s POV of Chp 4  TW: major character death, strangulation

A Well Needed Lesson - Byakuya has had enough of the Ultimate Lucky Student, Kyoko responds in return

Oh Look, A Yandere - Mic gets kidnapped by a yandere and has to try to escape TW: Yandere, kidnapping

Bad Things Happen Bingo Part 2: New Card, New Category

To Manipulate A Protector -Orange goes after Virgil? Or is that just a trick? TW: Kidnapping, implied fighting, manipulation, being controlled

Some Apologies Go Nowhere - after chp 4, Kokichi tries to apologize to Shuichi. Key word there is try

No One Noticed...- What if Shiro hadn’t been the only one Replaced? TW: Abandonment, heavy doubt, replaced and not noticed

Of All People Why’d it have to be Deku? - Bakugou and Midoryia switch bodies. Chaos ensues. TW:… cussing I guess?

A Broken Disc- Spoilers for the March 1st Tommyinnit Stream  TW: Major Character Death, Attempted Manipulation, Flashbacks

not again...: Nagito gets kidnapped...again  TW: kidnapping, locked in small place

Goodbye Green- Who ever said the Creativity twins were supposed to be separated?  TW: Morally Grey Patton, having to leave someone you care about

One Step Behind: Phil’s POV of what happened that fateful day  TW: Major Character Death, Stabbing, Bleeding Out, Explosions

Adrien’s Realization

Lila Bashing fic where Adrien finally realizes that ‘Hey what Lila is doing to me isn’t good’

Chp 1-  TW: Unrequited flirting, unrequited crush, Lila hate(?)

Chp 2- TW:Self doubt, bad advice

Another Path

After All Might tells Izuku he can’t be hero, Izuku decides it might be better to take another path to help people. Planned mix of actual story and chat fic

TW: slight All Might bashing

Prologue

Chp 1

Chp 2

[the-sunshine-dims]

Little closets are the best places to hide (chapter 4)

when the quick swiftly turns to slow, hesitant steps forward

(sorry this chapter took so long!)    | chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 5 |

Ao3

Words: 16k 

Contents and warnings: intrusive thoughts, Remus typical, panic, self doubt, death mention, trauma responses, unsympathetic wrath/orange side, past abuse, mention of past manipulation, panic attacks, blood mention, glass, hurt/comfort, _________

After the movie night, everything had gone really fast. 

Discussing everything- Discussing what had happened to cause the whole incident, though, on the vaguer side, he couldn't handle giving them any real detail. Discussing the whole them staying there situation, the light sides making sure they both knew they were welcome there with open arms.

  Then he had to deal with the whole trauma stuff and ask Janus to discuss- or more just tell them his main ‘triggers’, despite the fact the word felt sour on his tongue, sour and bad , he was Remus he shouldn't have triggers. Thankfully he had been able to leave during that whole conversation, making a thinly veiled excuse about forgetting something upstairs so that if they called him pathetic or anything else he had an entire floor and several rooms between them, so, if nothing else he couldn't hear it.

  Then they had to deal with moving his room to the light side's mind palace, Janus having to stop him from trying to see what it was like inside the room as it moved, so if anything fell he didn’t ‘get a concussion’. Then moving Janus’s room to the light sides mind palace- that was less stressful than the other stuff, especially as they had been already debating whether to do it before everything anyway, and sure Janus had said he wouldn’t at the time because he didn't want to leave him, but even if he hadn't wanted to then, it had still been discussed before the whole- everything . Plus it gave him an excuse to add random nonsense to Janus's room before he entered, his favorite item he added was one of those singing mounted fish, that he updated to regularly change what song it sang, it was so funny seeing him notice it, seeing the complete double-take that it got- and then triple take when it started singing mama mia unprompted. That part of the day had been better, however, no matter how fun it was it didn't really help him in the whole ‘not feeling like everything was too big’, department.

  Luckily enough, the next morning was deemed a ‘decompress day’, which was especially good as he was pretty sure if he had to deal with doing any more in a small period he might implode- or explode , really only time could tell which. 

  And Logan had been quick to ensure he knew that that meant he could do almost anything he deemed relaxing or did to decompress; such as doing puzzles or watching movies in the common room, or hanging out in his room doing his own thing, Logan had made a small note of saying that's what Virgil did, often listening to music as well. Or he could go to the imagination. Or if he had anything else he wanted to do like baking or playing a game he was free to do that as well. “As long as it is not harmful to yourself feel free to do whatever you want.” he had said.

  So, safe to say, with all those choices,

  He had chosen to just stay in his room.

  Everything was so overwhelming, and in the blur of things happening he didn’t want to somehow overstay his welcome already, and there were just too many options for him to choose, staying in his room was the safe go-to.

The next couple of days were a little bit easier than the first, but that was only really because for the first day he hadn't even had his room to take refuge in. But, it's still only a small comfort as even though now he does have it again, everything is still so hard and stressful and okay - he knew that several other things had been happening in those couple of days, but for the life of himself he couldn't even tune back into what it was. Even with the ‘rest’ or whatever it was supposed to be, he was still exhausted and everything felt like it was going so much faster than he was. It was kind of terrifying because he didn't think he could keep up, it felt like it was miles ahead of him, like it was leaving him behind.

  It made him feel helpless and he hated it.

  And suddenly, that was when the quick swiftly turned to slow, hesitant steps forward.

  ________

  Remus was, frankly, exhausted. There had been so much change so quickly and he just had to adapt, because he couldn’t just not, he didn't have a choice he just had to deal with it, and because of that he was just, physically and mentally exhausted.

  So no one could blame him if he hadn’t left his room today, even when they invited him to breakfast hours ago, he had been hungry sure, but breakfast meant conversation, which meant he either had to start holding back his thoughts which he didn’t have enough energy to do today, especially because they would no doubt be in abundance with the active passing conversation, or the deadening, awkward silence, that he’d probably do anything to get rid of. and he couldn't deal with them looking at him in disgust, again , and he didn’t know if they somehow forgot he was him or not but he didn’t want to somehow mess everything up again by reminding them, because he was sure this time they wouldn’t react by continuing to accept him, even if they ‘cared’. people cared about him before, didn’t stop them from leaving him. caring didn’t stop people from being awful, it just made him feel guilty for being mad at them.

  And guilt sucked, getting all upset and uppity and constantly feeling like all of your intestines were being squeezed every time you remember something or someone sucked.

  Actually, he should make a list of things that sucked. feeling pathetic; it made something sour settle in the pit of his stomach and he hated it. Feeling helpless; everything being out of his control scared him- except when he was trying to make pipe bombs! Then whatever happened was just like a plot twist, though it was disappointing when it extinguished on its own ignition- still feeling helpless sucked, made everything feel so cold and bad and it was just- it sucked. 

  And then there were blueberry muffins, sure some were good but so many were bad the good ones were practically the 1% and with the bad ones being too crunchy or too mushy or the spot around the blueberries would be so mushy and gross and the blueberry would get all weird and bad in the oven and then you’d bite it and it would pop like a rotted gusher but bad and he hated it, he hated blueberry muffins, they sucked.

  Actually, he wondered if he could use one of them for a pipe bomb-

  No, he couldn’t go to his side of the imagination in case they noticed him missing and panicked, and he was too new to destroy the common room with food-related pipe bombs.

  Maybe in a couple of months, when they’d have definitively decided whether they liked him or not, because then it wouldn't be the deciding factor for whether or not he’d continue to be allowed to stay there.

  …Having to stand on thin ice wasn’t fun, and it was even worse because they were acting like they would never make him go back to wrath no matter what he did. acting like even the idea was blasphemous. but he knew very well they still could, and could can change to would so quickly. If they decided wrath was right.. Or decided he just wasn't worth it even if wrath wasn't right- no matter how much they refuted now that he would never have to go back, he knew better.

  He groaned and dramatically collapsed onto his bed from where he’d been pacing a hole into his carpet to pretend his stomach wasn't trying to murder him, one thing wrath didn’t take from him was his dramatics after all, well at least mostly.

  He loudly signed, just laying there for a minute, he hated this, just a little, okay it was better than having to hole himself away in his room for weeks at a time, but he hated having to actively prove himself, sure it had sucked living with wrath but at least then he knew he couldn't do anything to change it, it was just there and he had to deal with it, make himself a little smaller, a little quieter, less noticeable, and cope. But here he had to actively fight and pretend he wasn't awful, that he wasn't everything they thought about him, that he wasn't dirty 50% of the time, that he wasn't crude, that he wasn't- that he wasn't him, from now on he would have to make the constant decision to hold back himself , and after a couple of weeks he wouldn't even have the excuse of being exhausted and overwhelmed to hide away in his room. it would be better in the long run he supposed, at least that's what Janus had told him, but it wasn't fair, how come everyone else got a safe place to be where they could just be themselves unadulterated? He wanted that. Why didn't he get that? 

  It wasn't fair, he hadn't intentionally made himself dislikeable, that was just who he was, he tried to change but he wasn't good at it and it never stuck . 

  he huffed petulantly, it wasn't fair .

  He jumped out of his skin when suddenly, out of nowhere , there was a loud, precise knocking, after a second of shaking himself off so he wasn't just in a haze of startled blinking, he grinned, before rushing over to the door, excited instantly by whoever needed him or wanted him enough to knock on his door for whatever reason- especially because chances were the ‘whoever’ was probably Janus.

  His excitement was slightly dampened however when the door revealed not Janus, but Logan . Just standing there like always, by all means, it didn’t look like anything funny or urgent enough for him to be looked for had happened, still, he cocked his head to the side exaggeratedly “what’s up know-gan!”

  Logan didn’t even blink, simply handing over a plate of some kind of casserole Remus hadn’t even noticed he’d been holding “not a lot. I simply figured you’d be hungry as you weren’t present at breakfast and it’s already been fifteen minutes past lunch,” he said matter-a-factly before continuing, a little more hesitantly “and i- I wanted to check on you. everything’s been stressful enough, and with everything else- I wanted to check on how you were doing.” 

  Remus was quite frankly completely taken back by that, honestly mostly because it was Logan, he honestly wouldn’t have questioned it if it was Jan or Patton, maybe even- but not likely- Virgil or Roman, but Logan? Who wasn't ‘real emotional and just didn’t do these types of things- well he wasn’t sure if he did these things with the others- but he didn’t do these things with Remus , he wasn’t nice to Remus, he just wasn’t - Remus was made to be ignored by everyone, the fact that logic of all of them was checking on him and making sure he was okay- 

  Before he could finish his most definitely a little self-deprecating train of thought Logan seemed to pick up what he hadn’t put down “however I do not wish to pry, so enjoy the casserole and if you need anything let me know-“

  Remus panicked.

  He panicked, the door hadn't even been open a full minute and Logan already look like a kicked kitten as he began turning away, and he had no idea what to do to stop Logan from turning away because he didn’t actually dislike his company and his thoughts were coming in a-million-a-second, most unpleasant at best and others completely off-topic or worse, tinged with helplessness.

  And what his panic brain did instead of anything else reasonable (even to his standards) he would repeat again and again was only because he felt guilty for seeming to have upset Logan by remaining quiet, and he would repeat it again for the court if ever protested in his story.

  He grabbed Logan's wrist,

  He just didn’t want him to leave and felt bad because Logan gave him casserole, as white as that was, especially considering the fact it was tuna casserole, but it was nice and Logan seemed so disheartened and ew weakness-

  Logan quickly turned around, confusion evident on his face, and Remus was grasping desperately for what to say.

  “I- my room is really boring,” he started stupidly, come on he used to be so good at this- before immediately not being able to meet his eyes and instead staring intently at the floor “and I don’t feel like going to the imagination with everything that’s going on, and I cant make bombs so everything is really dull- and I wouldn’t mind company?”

  The silence that followed was deafening.

  Vaguely he remembered oh he was still holding onto his arm, and immediately let go, ignoring the ghost sensations that were left. god, he held on for way longer than he meant to and so much longer than he should've - 

  Who was he kidding? He shouldn't have touched him in the first place, he should've just thanked him as he left, Logan probably just wanted his kindness acknowledged so he could leave feeling good about himself. it doesn’t matter how long he accidentally held on, what matters is he touched him in the first place. He knew the rules. touching the light sides is only allowed when they instigate it, he wasn’t allowed to touch them out of nowhere.

  Less than two minutes after opening the door and Remus was already messing everything up, it's only been a couple of days since he got there, and within such a short period he had already broken one of the big rules! The ones he had always made sure to know, and okay it was a little hard learning them because the light sides were kind of annoying in the way they insisted to leave the rules unspoken, be he still knew them. he knew the rules, and to completely disregard them-

  Stupid.

  Stupid. Stupid. stupid.

  Quickly panicking, Remus spared a glance at Logan despite himself, trying to gauge the damage. it may not be the same as wrath but he couldn’t expect them not to get mad at him when he fucked something up-

  Logan was beaming.

  That sent his brain to a screeching halt, scrambling for every possible bearing it could have.

  What.

  And Logan continued beaming as he began speaking “I finished my work early so I think I would appreciate some company too,” he smiled. Logan , Mr. Logic, nerdy wolverine, smiling, “would you be more comfortable hanging out in the living room or your room?”

  Remus did everything he could to seem casual, which didn’t feel natural, at all, or casual, “eh my room is easier” he said, already turning back into his room, before gesturing Logan in. pointedly ignoring the fact that the reason was actually because he’s pretty sure if he went to the living room right now he’d actually throw up if he had to deal with the stress of talking or being known by everyone , one person was enough.

  Logan easily followed him in, clearly about to close the door before pausing and raising a questioning gaze. 

  “You're fine, you can close the door,” Remus told him, he wasn't that fragile, despite every context clue otherwise, he could handle a door being closed.

  He.. did kind of appreciate it though.

  Soon, they had both situated themselves comfortably on the bed, well, as comfortable as it could be with the awkward air hanging around them like the pneumonic plague. Thankfully Remus had the excuse of eating to not talk, which he was especially glad for because he hadn't really been in a ‘talking to a person you know almost nothing about and what you do know about them is that they dislike you a whole lot’ mood.

  …but if he didn't talk Logan would just have to sit there awkwardly because he had nothing to do and he would think Remus’s room was boring and awkward and miserable and bad and gross- and he need to do everything he could to keep them not completely against the idea of ever stepping foot in his room again.

  He had books! 

  Logan likes books right?

  A little desperately he summoned the one he thought Logan would enjoy the most, a simple dark-blue covered one with stories and small facts about the stars, he didn’t actually know where he’d gotten the book but given the fact the other books in his small shelf were either medical journals or horror books with some small exceptions of other slightly off-putting books and series’s, he was thankful of it being there.

  After all, Logan liked stars, and facts, and books, so he could read while Remus plotted out what to do next.

  Remus may have accidentally hit Logan square in the chest with it before he steadfastly stared at his food to avoid the look he no doubt got.

  He won’t confirm or deny. He was innocent till proven guilty.

  He may have panicked a little.

  But, everything from then on he would be happy to admit went according to the plan that he didn’t have.

  He was quickly able to finish his plate so he didn’t feel awkward and like he would get in trouble for it anymore and when he finally looked up instead of Logan's gaze being on him and vaguely judgy he was nose-deep in the book Absolutely transfixed, he practically had stars in his eyes- hah! success!

  He couldn’t help immediately leaning over Logan's shoulder, slightly obnoxiously, as he tried to see what the neglected book had been about, mind completely forgetting the spiraling less than twenty minutes ago from doing less.

  To be fair, this time it wasn't like one of those gross romcom scenes, and it was something he's seen Virgil and Patton do plenty of times, so it would probably be allowed- well not allowed , but not punished.

  As he eyed the book he realized it actually seemed interesting, it wasn’t formatted like a Wikipedia page- so much information in just a single block of text that it made itself unreadable like come on if you want people to read it, let them- instead, it was short tales and myths about them, as well as facts on when and where’d you see them, as well as, in some cases, depending on how interesting it was and if it was needed context- when people from hundreds and thousands of years ago would have seen them.

  It also had pictures of the stars and constellations, not big ones, just big enough to see how beautiful they were, sometimes in black and white, sometimes in full color.

  It was, admittedly, really cool.

  Remus let out a displeased rumble when Logan turned the page just a moment too early.

  He could actually hear Logan pausing before he chuckled- the asshole- and instead of doing what he’d expected, and wanted. He set the book down.

  Remus let out a noise of outrage, very clearly pouting, because okay rude , it was one thing to just not go back for a moment, and instead continue, but chuckling and putting the book down? Rude, like they called him rude, but that was rude-rude.

  Remus was impatiently waiting for Logan to, if nothing else, pick the book back up, and maybe continue to read, so he could read, with him or not, and he could technically admit that it would be nicer to read with him, but he would rather die.

  Mostly because Logan, the ass, was still laughing. 

  Was this a punishment because he kept touching him?

  He’d have to admit it was definitely one of the better punishments he’s gotten but it still sucks and it was mean and honestly a little concerning, he looks like he might be having a stroke.

  Could sides get strokes? Could they die? Would they die when Thomas dies? What if he dies soon, what if Thomas could die when a side dies-

  Logan wasn’t laughing anymore, instead, moving just a little to adjust the pillows behind him, before patting the spot next to him, Remus obediently followed because he was really curious about what Logan was doing, and quickly sat down next to him.

  Logan smiled acknowledgingly before he did something Remus hadn’t been expecting, completely catching him off guard.

  He began reading,

  To him.

  Sure it wasn’t that far-fetched of an idea for Logan to read aloud, it was just reciting information, and he was the ‘teacher’ or whatever- he resists the urge to say what immediately popped into his head at that thought, it would definitely make Logan uncomfortable, and while he was confused because it made sense for Logan to read aloud, but not to him, he still didn’t want to stop it because the quiet steady talking was so nice to listen too and it meant that he didn’t even have to just focus on reading, he could draw, or fidget, or experiment- very quietly- and so much more, all while being able to listen to the book, it was so exciting.

  Even when he didn’t get up to do any of that, instead happily rocking as he listened because okay while he could go do other things that would mean he couldn’t look at the pictures and besides today was supposed to be relaxing, relaxing meant not doing random things just to do them even when he didn't really want too, relaxing was listening to someone read to him.

  Even if sometimes that person was himself at two am at night trying not to let his thoughts get to him.

  Relaxing, yay.

  …

  Knowing Remus, even a minimal amount, Logan hadn’t been particularly surprised when suddenly a head hit his shoulder and Remus was out cold.

  He huffed a fond laugh before marking his place in the book, having a lingering feeling that he would end up needing it again sometime soon.

  Which… he wouldn’t be against . Especially because of just how instantly content Remus was, the tension he’d had previously almost instantly melting away, and besides the little one-off comments about certain stories, he’d barely even spoken, much less interrupted, just happily listening and not wanting to disrupt it.

  It was such a stark contrast to a week ago- it was such a stark contrast to an hour ago.

  He’d looked so jumpy, anxious, and awkward until for just a moment he forgot to be.

  Why would someone limit such already limited joy, even when he had been destructive in his happiness Logan was still happy to see it, because his eyes lit up and his grin was so genuine-

  Remus just expressed himself differently, and he understood why Patton had been hesitant about him at first, but even then.

  He wrapped an arm around him as he helped adjust him to lay down.

  Remus was just another form of creativity, which while sometimes mildly annoying, never made him want to yell or hurt him.

  He didn’t know the details of what had happened,

  but he knew he would never let Remus deal with it again.

  ————-

  Remus was tired. tired, and hungry , and on top of that he was anxious as all hell, which just left him even more exhausted, and reasonably he knew that the kitchen in the mind palace wasn’t restricted or anything remotely like that- Patton and Janus had been steadfast in making sure he knew that.

  But still, he hesitated even as he looked around the dark house, full well knowing no one was up, it was almost three am, and they valued their sleep too much to even try staying up.

  But old habits die hard he supposed, especially if those old habits protected you from the cornering, and screaming, and sometimes more- until he felt too sick to even want to eat no matter how hungry he had been.

  He groaned to himself before quickly rushing into the kitchen and to the fridge, he just needed to hurry up, if he was quick enough even if it was restricted he could get away with it.

  Nothing really looked appetizing, but he knew he needed to eat, or at the very least stock up a little so he could eat later, even if it was just grabbing a granola bar. hunger, unless wholly filled with it- so filled that your stomach was completely empty and had been for at least 24 hours- would only make it more unappetizing.

  Food was food though, he sighed, pulling away from the ever so brightly glowing refrigerator that had the more appetizing but not shelf-stable food, and headed to the cabinets and cupboards, he was pretty sure they had- ah-ha! Graham crackers, they were a bit plain but it was clear no one would miss them with how little they were touched, and even if they were he didn’t think they knew about his food stashing habit so how would they know it was him rather than say- Virgil? Or Patton? They wouldn’t so they would just summon more and no one would be blamed and he wouldn’t get yelled at for stealing their food.

  He thinks for a moment before grabbing a couple- only two or three, of the granola bars that had sat there long neglected as well, after loading them all onto the counter, he takes a quick glance at it before deciding yeah that’s enough, he can’t take a lot in one night, after all, they’ll get suspicious, and it’s only considered a victimless crime if he doesn’t get caught.

  He takes a steadying breath, he feels a bit bad he’s stealing, but he knows not to expect the situation to remain good for too long, he’s not naive, or more- he's not stupid , and even after the apologies and Logan, he knows things can change so easily- actually he’s not so sure Logan would totally be okay with him cast to the wolves any more- but one or two voices are the minority and can be easily ignored regardless.

  One person can be ignored so easily.

  Two people can do a little bit more but can’t put up much fight in the long run.

  He can’t mistake their kindness as a permanent invitation to exist with them, he can’t mistake their sympathy for want, they don’t want him, they don’t like him, and sure they may not like what happened to him, but he was still Remus.

  The Remus that made everybody cringe and wince just by showing up, made everybody groan at the realization he was going to stay there- just for the hour of the movie, made everybody think things they didn’t want to think, made everybody see what they didn’t want to see.

  He was him, and he was relieved he didn’t have to hide constantly from wrath sure, maybe a little thankful.

  But he still needed to hide, because now they knew, now they made efforts to drag him into conversation he had no business being in, not wanted in, and he couldn’t say anything, because then they’d scowl, and send him the familiar warning look. But then, almost worse, if he stayed silent they’d give him a strange look, or worse, a pitiful- or relieved look.

  If he stays away the most he can, he won’t wear out their invitation, and if he does at least he won’t be personally invested in them, because honestly even if they do throw him away like the vulgar trash he was tomorrow. while it would suck and he probably wouldn’t be able to breathe for hours till he eventually mercifully passed out. It would be better- at least in the long run he wouldn’t have to deal with the whole “I thought they liked me” 

  Because he didn’t, he knew better.

  He groaned, about to grab the food and head upstairs before he paused, and after a second went to grab a glass of water, water helped sometimes to momentarily distract him from everything.

  Which gave him an excuse to convince himself to drink water before he got a pounding headache and couldn’t get up tomorrow because that would mean having to be near light.

  He didn’t notice how shaky his hands were until he pulled his glass away from the sink, half-filled with water. huh, when did that happen? 

  He sighed, well that was gonna be fun to deal with later.

  He tried to take a sip,

  And he didn’t realize just how bad the trembling truly was until he heard a loud 

  CRASH 

  As the glass fell and shattered around his feet.

  And the familiar feeling of his chest constricting once again took hold as his ears continued to ring.

  Because that was so loud, and everyone had been asleep- which may give him enough time to clean it up and sink out, but if they asked each other and no one did it they would reasonably assume he did it, he broke a glass and woke everyone up and he needed to clean it up-

  Oh god, he was going to get kicked out, it’s only been around two weeks and he was going to get himself abandoned.

  It wouldn’t be because they just didn’t like him, that, he could over easily enough.. eventually. Instead, it would be because he messed up, he tried stealing their food, and he broke their glass, and most likely he woke them up. It would be because they found out wrath was right , all he did was make a mess and break everything.

  He fucked everything up.

  Again and again and again and again.

  He didn’t know what to do first, he needed to hide the food, even if he couldn’t take it, it’s better to not eat than get dumped like a pitiful stray kitten, and he had to clean up the mess but he didn't know where a broom was- or a mop- or a rag, or anything was- and he had to hide every single micro-evidence of him ever being there.

  Any trace of him so much as existing and they’ll yell at him, and it’ll hurt and he can’t breathe and it hurts.

  He desperately gulped in air as he shoved the snacks behind the coffee pot and frantically grabbed a paper towel to grab any pieces of glass he could manage, he couldn’t deal with blood right now.

  And he had to be fast.

  He rushed back and forth between the trash and the counter with the paper towel roll on it before he just couldn’t get any more of it without a broom and the water was just staying determinedly on the ground no matter what he did- no matter how many paper towels he tried wiping it up with and he couldn’t do anything.

  Again.

  This was so stupid why couldn’t he just clean it up, it was so easy.

  All he had to do was clean it up.

  Why was he such a fuck up?

  Was he right? Did he really mess up everything he touched?

  He didn’t want to.

  They had to take that into consideration right? Surely they’d know he didn’t mess it all up on purpose?

  …maybe they would take it into consideration, take into consideration the fact that even when he wanted to help he just ruined wherever he was trying to help with, the fact he couldn’t so much as drink water, without causing a big stink, the fact he couldn’t do anything right, the fact that even when he was trying so hard to be good he was just loud and kept stepping over rules even when he knew them.

  He couldn’t touch the light sides unless they touched him first, yet he touched Logan without him touching him first like three times when he came into his room a couple of days ago, and he was only lucky that Logan was sympathetic enough to give him another chance to learn that that wasn't acceptable.

  He’d had so long to know these rules, wrath had made sure he knew them, had informed him of the way the light sides would get mad if he touched them, told him that if he ever wanted them to even consider not hating him Remus needed to make sure to follow their rules. It was one of the only times wrath had been nice to him, not yelling at all as he told him, just giving him advice. He’d even proposed the idea that Remus should get used to it with everyone so it was easier.

  So he’d had a long time to get used to it, he’d gotten so good at it too, but now he kept fucking up.

  Why could he never learn? He knew he needed to, he may be stupid but he’s not that stupid, even if he needed to relearn everything it would be worth it not to get thrown out, he needed to surv-

  He needed to clean it up.

  he needed to snap out of it and clean it up and hide out in his room,

  He doesn't have time to panic or reminisce or- whatever, he just needs to fix everything.

  But he couldn’t.

  He couldn’t try and search for a broom or mop, knowing his luck the cupboards would no doubt end up creaking and would wake everyone up- if they weren't already.

  He startled when he felt something warm drop onto his cheek, slowly sliding down quietly, he wiped it away and-

  “Is everything alright— Remus?— are you crying? ” 

  Remus stilled at the slightly gravelly, and very familiar voice.

  He was caught.

  He was caught and now they would know and they would be furious.

  He couldn’t stop his breathing from getting shallower and shallower as his eyes resolutely remained on the glass.

  Maybe if he pretended he didn’t hear him he would go away, deem him too much of a hassle and not yell, even if silence stung and bit at him like a hive of angry wasps it would be preferable to everything else.

  He didn’t need help.

  And he most definitely didn’t want him to see him like this, he couldn’t afford to. they felt bad for him- sure, let him stay with them so they wouldn’t be knowingly letting him get- he didn’t know how much they knew, hurt? but that didn’t mean they actually wanted to deal with his dumb shit, didn't want to deal with him being pathetic- because god he must look so pathetic.

  His breath got caught in his throat as he noticed suddenly his view of the mess he created was gone in favor of a black and purple hoodie-clad Virgil.

  He flinched back and with clumsy, shaky legs stumbled back- and swiftly to the floor against the kitchen cupboards.

  He could instantly see the alarm written across Virgil's face at that but he didn’t know why, sure it would be a little concerning to hear a loud crash at- he couldn’t remember the time- late?

  But once he saw it was Remus he should’ve been able to just go back to his room, happily assured no one he cared about was harmed.

  Because he didn’t care about Remus 

  He’d made that pretty evident, with everything he’d done, which made the movie night a little confusing and everything said at the movie night a whole lot confusing.

  But still, if nothing else- he didn’t like Remus.

  Not caring is hard, really really hard, and it hurts so bad. 

  So Virgil may… care, just a little bit, but still, he shouldn’t be here.

  Virgil didn’t like him, he didn’t like him and he left and he was going to throw Remus back, back to the scathing looks and nauseatingly loud screaming and ridicule and pain, maybe he would tell the others, maybe he wouldn’t, maybe he would wait a week, say he had gone to the imagination so no one would ever think to try and look for him elsewhere, so no one would ever be able to even look at him with anything less than hatred, it was what he deserved after all.

  He shouldn’t be scared, he was used to it, he could survive.

  Even if it hurt so much worse because he had- because he still adored Virgil, it was better to get it out of the way sooner than later, he couldn’t get comfortable.

  And he was pretty sure Virgil was the only one steady enough to throw him back, the only one who could bear it, because Virgil would know it would be better for Thomas, after all since it started he’s had very little time to bother anyone, barely one good day a month he can make an appearance for Thomas and all of them, say he’s doing amazing, make a joke that makes everyone wince, and then after ten minutes or so pretend to get bored and leave, Thomas only has to deal with him maybe ten or twenty minutes for the most part of a whole month.

  It would be better for Thomas.

  He barely repressed a loud sob as he clutched his clumsy knees desperately to his chest, nausea swirling in the back of his throat.

  Even though he knew it would be better for Thomas and everyone, and he knew he shouldn't have even thought about getting comfortable,

  It still hurt. which was stupid, because it shouldn't really matter, he should get over it. But the worst thing was, he cared more about the thought of them throwing him away than the technical safety.

  Which meant it hurt so much more.

  Caring hurt.

  “Remus please-“

  Oh god had he been talking?

  Did he think he had been ignoring him? 

  He didn’t even mean to and he made stuff even worse, he needed to get over this and clean it up, even if it was with his bare hands, he just has to suck it up, he fought in the imagination all the time, he was used to pain and he knew how to patch himself up, so he just had to get up and stop messing everything up.

  He didn’t get up.

  It was so pathetic but he just huddled further into himself as Virgil- he didn’t know, panicked? 

  Hatred would be easier to deal with than comfort a voice said in the back of his head, startling him.

  He didn’t like that it may be right, he didn’t like how even if it was a quiet thought, no louder than a whisper, it still, so easily got right through his defenses.

  He didn't like that it so openly admitted the feelings he had the whole almost two weeks he’s been there, living in the mind palace, the ones he knew he had to keep under lock and key.

  He recoiled when he felt a soft touch on his leg, it quickly retracting but not leaving more than a foot.

  “I’m sorry- I tried to ask but you weren’t even registering my words and I remembered touch used to help sometimes- but that’s still no excuse for touching without permission” he forced out quickly, clearly not wanting him to zone out again before he could finish.

  Remus hated that he remembered that.

  Hated that that meant he had cared enough too.

  Hated that it Absolutely helped even as it burned just a little. Hated the deep vulnerable longing settling in his gut for one of his best friends- ex-best friends.

  He made a noncommittal noise when Virgil was a breath away from doing the speech again, not trusting his voice.

  He didn’t trust a lot about himself right now, his, voice, his legs, his arms, his ability to drink water without breaking the damn cup-

  “Can I touch you?” 

  Maybe he would’ve expected that question if he had been paying more attention or had been thinking, but instead even his shallow airy- possibly tear-filled breathing stopped as he looked at him, startled.

  Virgil quickly tried to explain “I think it would help you focus on breathing and would do more good since this time you would be expecting it-“

  Remus was impulsive, and he knew that, but technically it wasn’t breaking the rules if Virgil offered.

  Kind of. 

  Still, he almost desperately nodded untangling his fingers from the white-knuckle grip they had on his legs to give it to Virgil.

  He deserved to have the calm before the storm.

  Self-care.

  Even if it would probably only hurt in the long run and give Virgil even more ammo for his thinly veiled insults.

  He still Practically melted when Virgil held his hand, interlacing their fingers easily as he tapped a rhythm with his thumb and breathed a little more exaggeratedly.

  He missed him, he didn’t want to admit it, but he missed him so much.

  It took a minute but Remus let himself breathe, and eventually, he was able to shakily rub his face with his free arm, it was gross, and kind of moist, he hated crying. it made him feel bad during and after.

  the whole ‘crying is good for you’ thing? bullshit .

  Still though, as soon as he was confident- hopefully, this time it wasn’t overconfident- that he could stand, he clumsily yanked his hand away before shooting up, trying to ignore the aching in his chest as a result, and trying to miss the deep clawing bad that resulted from the look on Virgil's face when he pulled his hand away.

  He looked so.. upset? Disappointed? Those didn’t quite match but it was so weirdly similar, 

  He could figure it out later, right now he needed to figure out where the cleaning supplies were- seriously were they trying to hide it? 

  As fun as getting his hands really cut up or eating the glass sounded, he knew it would actually hurt because of stupid mind palace rules, And then he’d get in trouble for getting his stupid blood on everything, and he couldn’t just not admit it was his blood because if they discovered it they might think someone they cared about got hurt, and they were being nice he shouldn’t inconvenience them with that panic.

  As he rummaged the kitchen desperately he only barely heard the soft footsteps approaching him again, 

  Just as they stopped he turned around, going to tell him anything- I’m fine, don’t tell the others, I’ll clean it up, go to bed, I’m just Remus the whole crying thing was just another spur of the moment stupid don’t worry, don’t care, please don’t care.

  But the look on Virgil's face startled him in his search, his eyebrows were pinched together in what could only be described as concern and confusion, he looked worried, but then everything in his face twisted into disgusting pity (or was it sympathy?) in an instant.

  And suddenly he flicked his hand upwards and the mess was gone.

  Remus’s mess was gone.

  Even though Virgil hadn’t physically cleaned it himself, it still meant that Remus hadn’t cleaned up his own completely preventible mess, and Virgil would tell them that, that Remus had taken so long being stupid stupid stupid that Virgil had to snap it away.

  Remus’s heart stopped.

  Had he not been fast enough? He’d tried, he had, he rushed and tried and he thought he had a little bit longer, sure, that was his mistake, but surely Virgil would understand that? 

  Wouldn't he?

  Maybe there was a grace period? Maybe if he only messed up this once maybe he wouldn’t tell everyone how much wrath was right-

  But Virgil only wanted to protect his family, and Remus wasn’t a part of that anymore, which meant he wouldn’t keep it from them, he wouldn’t hide the fact that Remus was such a blatant weak link, he wouldn’t hide that fact the Remus would only weigh them down, he wasn’t useful, wasn’t pleasant in any sense of the word, he wasn’t needed, and on top of that he had so much baggage and he tried stealing their food .

  Well, he didn’t know if Virgil knew that quite yet but even if he didn’t, sneaking around at two? Three? Four? and immediately breaking their stuff? He knew full well that that wasn’t acceptable.

  And on top of that, he had a small breakdown in front of Virgil that he wasn’t completely sure was over-

  Suddenly he noticed Virgil's expression change again, probably feeling the wave of bad radiating off of him.

 He was probably making him uncomfortable. He just needs to be fine and then he can apologize for breaking their stuff, hope they don’t find the hidden food, and apologize to Virgil for making him deal with the mess.

 Virgil made a small noise, if nothing else, noticing how his shoulders hunched even more and how he didn’t at all seem reassured by the mess disappearing because someone else dealt with it for him.

  And somehow he felt worse because maybe Virgil just wanted to help but he was being impossible-

  Virgil took a breath,

  And Remus was suddenly just a little terrified.

  “Remus- Remus it’s alright, let’s go sit down on the couch, alright?” He said in an impossibly soft tone, that didn't really suit him, or the person he was talking to.

  Remus didn’t believe it was alright, and if he moved at all he wanted to instead run to his room and never leave it. But still, he nodded slowly, if nothing else he could- he didn’t know, maybe he could listen to him, and when Virgil got tired of chiding- or him , he could sink out to his room when he wasn’t looking.

  Perfect plan.

  100% gold stars deserved.

  Or red stars,

  Gold stars coated in the blood of those you’ve fought, a deep maroon, or the older ones may become gray or brown- what did old blood look like?

  He didn’t know but he's pretty sure they’d be sticky- is blood sticky?

  Moving on- moving on.

  If it worked Virgil wouldn’t even be that mad when he left because he wouldn’t want to look at him any longer.

  So with a hesitant nod, on unstable legs Remus followed Virgil to the couch, Virgil sat him down quickly, offering him a pillow hesitantly, Remus had no idea what he was supposed to do with a pillow but he took it anyway.

  Virgil seemed to think for a moment before quickly going “wait here, I’ll be right back” and rushing to the kitchen again.

  And he didn’t know if it was just because he was too tired and didn’t have the energy to leave or some other reason but he listened, straining his ears a little trying to figure out what he was doing and if he seemed to be getting frustrated, but he still stayed, hugging the pillow to his chest.

  It was barely five minutes before he was back, carefully holding two steaming mugs, Remus raised an eyebrow and Virgil just shrugged and handed it to him, careful not to let him burn himself on the hot ceramic.

  He sat down easily enough- though even Remus could tell he was tense. Before sipping his drink experimentally, and upon finding out the experiment failed he promptly sharply inhaled muttering so many swears under his breath that a sailor- and Remus , would be and were impressed.

  Remus snickered, sipping his own cup- and not burning himself- he was a man of class after all- he blinked in surprise when he tasted chocolate.

  Honestly, he was expecting him to have just gotten water, or tea when he saw it steaming but instead it was soft chocolate goodness that even his many contributions couldn’t make better, Virgil always made the best hot cocoa, he’d tried learning how he did it, but even when he didn’t add any of his special ingredients Virgil always made it best, even Janus couldn’t top it.

  Hah, top it.

  His insides felt all warm and gooey as he drank, trying not to chug it too quickly, and his eyes fought to droop,

  He forgot why he stopped having it.

  He startled from his chocolate-covered-haze quickly when he noticed Virgil staring at him.

  “See something you like raggedy-anx?” He said, frankly tired, he liked the haze, it was rude to disturb him from it, and he didn’t even have the energy to do the familiar suggestive quirk of his eyebrow.

  And based on the way Virgil's face contorted in a small frown a little again, he probably found that even more disturbing than his usual energy.

  Virgil hummed- probably to himself as Remus turned his head back to his cocoa.

  Seriously how did he make it so good-

  A small weight settled next to him.

  He looked up, alarm written all over his features before he processed Virgil.

  Virgil who just sat down maybe an inch away, carefully putting down his drink before picking up the remote 

  “I’m not leaving you alone after you just had a panic attack, what do you want to watch?”

  What was he doing? Okay it was one thing to try and comfort a panic attack, but he was fine now, now it was time for Remus to get kicked out and told to go to bed, or anywhere else , not for him to sit there watching a show with Virgil who left and didn’t care about him-

  Oh, he remembers why he stopped drinking hot chocolate.

  He huffed, hugging himself tighter. 

  You know I can’t stay here.

  It hurt but I deserv-

  I can’t be good enough to fit in,

  I can’t be caught in the living room they’ll be mad

  He couldn’t, he couldn’t stay with Virgil, he didn’t know when everyone else would get up, and he couldn’t get caught in the living room.

  It was their free space, not his. He was lucky they occasionally invited him to dinner and ‘movie nights’.

  Okay, they invited him every night to dinner, but it’s not like they could just ignore him-

  Anymore.

  He felt himself be nudged with an arm “hey I’m gonna put on the rescuers down under, how does that sound?”

  That sounded.. good.

  He was tired.

  Why is everything so complicated? Why does he have to care so much all the time, he doesn’t want to, he just wants to take a nap.

  He nodded slowly, stunned upon seeing the instant pleased look Virgil shot his way before he went on to focusing on turning the tv on. And just from that, all of Remus's self-control melted right out of him, swiftly relaxing completely and sagging against Virgil's shoulder. 

  He could see Virgil turn his head to look at him for a moment out of the corner of his eye before quickly turning back to face the movie, silently summoning a blanket over them.

  “I missed you”

  It was barely a whisper, and he was half expecting Virgil to have not even heard it, the only thing that told him different was the slight tensing before Virgil’s head rested on his.

  “ I know, I missed you too.”

  Remus hummed quietly in acknowledgment. his exhaustion finally taking hold as he could barely even think of doing anything more than try and watch the movie.

  Later, after the movie was finished he would be softly disturbed, waking up from a sleep he hadn’t fully known he’d been in, Virgil would offer a soft, awkward smile, as he pulled him up, making an active move to help support his weight “I’m sorry rem, we gotta get you to your bed” would say his sheepish voice.

  Remus would make mild protests because that meant moving and as spontaneous as he was moving after he just woke up was something he did not do, but after some small encouragements- and then Virgil having to sink them in, they would be in, Remus would barely spend a second before collapsing into the bed, quickly pulling over the covers and just curling up, not sure exactly when he changed out of his costume but thankful nonetheless, he would hear a small laugh followed by a quiet “goodnight” and by the time Virgil had turned to leave Remus would already be back out.

And when he woke up again- surprisingly well-rested, he would discover a glass of water, granola bars, and a box of graham crackers, on his desk.

  …They still needed to talk, a lot, as much as Remus hated it, but maybe, even so, maybe Virgil wasn’t an unsafe choice to go to.

  ______

Remus awoke with strangled breath, shooting up, his chest heaving, and a million words just on the tip of his tongue.

  Please he’ll be good, please he promises- he won’t talk anymore, please-

  He took a long breath, trying to fight through the panic, he was used to the nightmares, he shouldn't react with the blinding panic anymore, no matter how much he hated the damned dreams they shouldn't bother him anymore …but still it seemed no matter how much he described what wrath did as yelling, which felt less, felt less suffocating, felt less pathetic, on his part for dealing with it, and just generally, felt less. it was so much closer to screaming, screaming so loud and so much, for anything he did or didn’t do, screaming about how useless he was, how awful and disgusting he was, how Janus would leave too, ‘why would he stay? He's tried so hard to get accepted. Why would he decide to stay with you instead? Janus knows Virgil was right to get away from you, are you really so stupid-” 

  As his tear-blurred eyes adjusted to the light he noticed his shaking, and he guessed no matter how much he cushioned it, the screaming still bothered him, maybe it would forever? goddammit.

  and then he looked up,

  He had expected to see the same slightly falling apart walls he always had, illuminated just a little by the electrical clock Janus had insisted he have years prior. what he had not expected to see was the shadow figures in every dark corner, and okay he knew he shouldn't panic, they were just shadows, he knew that and he knew he was just freaking himself out.

  …But in his room they might not be, they could be creatures from the imagination trying to drag him in, they could be monsters, they could be any assortment of evil possibly goopy monsters that’ll try and take him or hurt him the moment he drops his guard, knowing he was vulnerable and no one would come after him.

  Worse, it could be wrath.

  It wouldn't be, because wrath wouldn't dare risk going to the mind palace just because he didn't like him- Remus wasn't even sure wrath could enter the mind palace.

  But what if he could and he did.

  He couldn’t stay in his room.

  Before he could even attempt to coordinate his limbs or his frazzled, panicked mind he was stumbling out of his door, a trail of blankets- some burned from previous experiments, some not, in his wake. 

  He tugged one over his shoulders halfheartedly, trying in a panic to find out where to go.

  The common room was out, he would be all too easy to find in there.

  Maybe Logan's room? He seemed a safe choice, even if Logan didn’t feel up to talking at ass in the morning he may still let him stay.

  But Logan liked his schedules, and it was one thing to mess it up a little, but it was another to mess up his scheduled sleep a little, and he woke up so easily, and he woke up so early, which meant he’d probably be exhausted in the morning.

  And he didn’t feel like poking the bear at the moment, it was fun for Logan to get a little flustered, not for him to actually be upset or mad , and that's what would happen.

  Maybe Virgil? He proved he at least didn’t hate him, he was safe, he gave him hot chocolate, maybe he wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again?

  But a quick glance at his door eliminated that option immediately, there was no soft glowing of the light under his door, which meant he was more than likely asleep, and Remus wasn’t stupid, Virgil went to bed late and oftentimes still couldn’t fall asleep for hours , and then sometimes he would wake up early- well early enough. he got such little sleep, Remus wasn’t ganna take the sleep he did get.

  Roman was an immediate no, which he felt a little guilty about but it was weird for him to be ‘the hated brother’ one moment and then suddenly not, and since he had pretty much been avoiding him-

  Janus was a maybe, he was safe and would happily wrap him up in his arms, whisper to him every comforting thing known to man, he would help. But he’d been so stressed out with everything going on, he’d tried hiding it for Remus's sake but Remus could see it, and Janus had been so nice and helped him time and time again, he’d done so much for him, he was such a good friend. He deserved sleep, he deserved rest. Remus could go to him, but he shouldn’t.

  And then there was Patton .

  He.. was hesitant about Patton, Patton was kind, and if he was cruel he was always unknowingly in his cruelness, he was caring, Remus knew if nothing else Patton probably wouldn’t throw him out, and his room was really comforting- he’d once hidden out in there, everything was soft and warm and the light oftentimes was limited only to fairy lights.

  He- maybe he wouldn’t even have to wake Patton up?

  Patton was a heavy enough sleeper, and nothing could get in his room, nothing could get him, and he didn’t really need comfort he just needed to be able to stay there a while, and then before Patton woke up he’d be gone and he could hide in the common room waiting for him and because Patton would come down to make breakfast almost as soon as he woke up so it would be safe.

  With a touch of desperation, he nodded to himself. rushing to the door as he walked down the hallway.

  he couldn’t help the slight hesitancy as he reached for the handle, it would be fine.  

  As he stepped inside he was careful to close the door quietly.

  Quiet, quiet was needed, be quiet.

  What if he wasn’t quiet and the creature came and found him and ripped him apart, slowly, one by one, piece by piece, blood pooling, until he lost consciousness and didn’t regain it, what if it tried to get to Patton-

  His breath spiked, no- no, it was just the normal nightmare jitters, it was one thing for them to be in his room, but they wouldn’t dare touch any of the others, save maybe Virgil’s.

  They wouldn’t go in Patton's room, even if they really wanted to hurt him, they wouldn’t dare touch anything of Pattons, and since Remus was in something of Pattons-

  But if they were desperate enough they might still try and pull- pull- Yank - something out of Patton's room, no matter the danger to themselves because if they really hated him and wanted him dead they wouldn't care if he was in someone's room- and if they were scared they might just be careful not to wake Patton up, or let Remus do so, shoving slimy almost-limbs against his mouth so he couldn't scream for help, please Patt on wake up please notice, please-

  Remus’s breathing wasn’t evening out as he rushed to Patton's bed, not entirely sure what to do once he was there, but if he was close he was safe, right?

  He slid down next to the bed after a minute making a soft ‘thump’ noise, and after another minute he gripped at the side of the bed, Patton wouldn’t knowingly let anyone get taken.

  He hoped.

  He was pretty sure.

  It was Patton , old patty-cake, he should be confident, but it was a little much to expect that everyone would just suddenly like him, Patton may still be uncomfortable with him and-

  And he still wouldn’t let them take him.

  Right?

  He took a big gulp of air, trying to will his arms to stop shaking, and trying to encourage his body to work.

  This is fine.

  He just had to stay there for maybe five hours? Six? He could do that, he's hidden completely undetected for longer than that, 

  It’s fine.

  ..

  It is quickly not fine, 

  His eyes start making monsters out of the shadows in Patton's room too after barely ten minutes. he can’t manage to successfully breathe, either breathing too little or too much, little quick inhales, or big gasps of air that hurt his lungs, and he’s still holding onto the urge to just cry in fear.

  And he can't do this-

  He can’t.

  He’s scared.

  “Mm- ‘iddo?”

  His movements are jerky as he snaps his head to the source of the sleep-addled voice, a whimper escaping him.

  His heart sinks, fuck.

  He woke him up. 

  He woke Patton up.

  He’s going to be so mad.

  He jolts away from the bed the best he can- which incidentally just gives Patton a better view of him- a million apologies on the tip of his tongue that just don’t come out as he stares at him, he needs to talk, but he just-

  “Remus?” Patton asked, sleep-addled voice confused and now sounding weird and concerned “R’mus? honey?”

  He was deciding the pros and cons of just running away, on one hand, if he ran, it could be waiting for him, on the other hand, this could- he doesn’t know.

  He takes a gulp of air, apologize, beg to just stay, even if just in the corner of the room. Maybe if he apologized well enough he can convince him to let him stay still, and maybe he wouldn't even be mad because he’s too tired. 

  “I’m sorry, can I-“ he cuts himself off at the way his voice shakes.

  Gross.

  He takes another breath to try and explain, again, if he just explains- then he would be ridiculed for getting shaken by a stupid nightmare, and for being stupid and intruding on their space- sure he’d done it before but that had been different, as annoying as it had been to them he was mostly there doing his job, whatever that was, which meant he was just being a fly, annoying, but not actually bothering them enough for them to care.

  And sure maybe he had been partially hiding too, but hey annoying them was still necessary.

  Well actually no, it wasn’t needed nor necessary- which just meant the same thing- but neither was he, and he was still there.

  “I’m sorry- I can- I can leave” he tried desperately after a second of trying to fight his mouth to say anything because he’s taken too long now to ask something of Patton, he's taken up too much time-

  Patton shook his head immediately “no baby’ ‘ts alright” he assured him easily, blinking again after a moment and noticeably making the move not to rub his eyes, probably thinking Remus would run away and disappear the moment he couldn't see him, he might've been right.

  And okay it really wasn’t fair he was equipped with an arsenal of pet names because despite himself he nearly melts at it.

  And the shadows immediately mock him for it, he makes the mistake of glancing away to look at them and they just stare, the darkness in the darkness, it sounds so stupid, but he can still make out faces in the dark, taunting him, laughing, and sure it could be a stupid dumb eye thing like Janus has told him before.

  But he knows he can’t lower his guard; he knows what can wait just beyond.

  Anything related to the imagination is dangerous, and he doubts wrath reacted well to the realization he was gone, so that could also be very dangerous, 

  Even if wrath wanted him gone, wrath would be Absolutely pissed that he left, because he- Remus didn’t know, he was just always mad.

  Maybe if he found him this time he’d finally fulfill all those threats, beating him till he couldn't move, sewing his mouth shut, not letting him leave- even to go to Thomas. maybe he’d even kill him- or maybe torture him? Slowly and painfully until eventually he just didn’t have enough blood in him, and the agony would slowly get fuzzy and he would know he shouldn’t go to sleep, but the allure to the painlessness and darkening of his vision would take him anyway. and he would be awake one minute and asleep the next- but he’s not asleep, you have to be breathing to be asleep and he’s not, he’s dead and no one would ever know because as awful as wrath was he was charming when you didn’t know him so he’d just convince them Remus had been lying about everything and that he just ran away to the imagination or something, and they’d believe him, because wrath always knew just the right way to say things. So they’d just think Remus was a liar who just gave up his charade and ran away, they’d think he was awful. they’d hate him even more. completely unknowing of him becoming rat food as he slowly decayed-

  “Kiddo?”

  Remus may or may not have flinched at that, just a little bit, you’ll never know, he was so good at keeping secrets, he may make a club.

  He may have definitely flinched when he’d realized suddenly Patton was on the ground with him though, and so were a solid quarter of his blankets, and the amount of worry and what he could only decipher as care in his gaze was suffocating.

  Words, if he words- worded? Right, then everything will be okay- great, in fact. Janus did it all the time, and so did he every now and then, sure normally his desired effect was the exact opposite of what he wanted now but still! Easy enough. 

  “I- um-“ he started smartly, really he should start a club, a smart being good at talking and secrets club, “can I- can I stay for the night?” He finally gets out after a little struggle because he can’t make a solid decision ever, and he sees Patton open his mouth to speak, and all of the confidence he didn't have died instantly, desperation replacing it. “I can just stay in the corner! I won’t bother you again, I’ll be so quiet you’ll forget about me! I promise! I do, please-“

  “Hey hey, calm down kiddo” Patton interrupted, his hands up in a placating gesture, “of course you can stay, you don’t even need to ask- or stay in a corner or anything like that, I promise that and you should know I don’t break my promises.” he chuckled good-naturedly “My room's yours hun,” He finished after a moment, a soft comforting smile on his lips.

  Remus eyed him suspiciously, trying to find something, he didn’t know what in his expression, insincerity? hollowness? Other big words? He didn’t know, but after a minute of searching he came up with Nothing.

  Jack squat.

  So he nodded slowly, making the hesitant movements to sit closer to him, luckily enough for Patton he had been forced to shower because he got covered in his new favorite gunk, and Janus said something about not leaving a suspiciously coppery smelling trail around the house, so now he didn’t smell like much of anything.

  Once he was sitting against the bed with him, Patton immediately made the move to wrap an arm around his shoulders, Remus froze for a moment, and he could tell Patton was waiting for his response, leaving his grip easily shakable so if he put up any sort of protest it could be easily nixed, but if it wasn't, it was there. 

  He could see Patton's growing hesitation as he didn't respond verbally or nonverbally, still feeling frozen, so after nearly a minute Remus wrapped an arm around him in return, letting himself lean into Patton’s side just a little. and okay everyone was so warm, it felt like it kind of burned just a little, in a good way. But even still- man, Patton, specifically was so warm, and it was a different kind of warmth, even if it burned it wasn’t abrasive even slightly, it was just soft and warm and nice, and before he even noticed he’d practically melted into Patton’s shoulder, earning a couple of small chuckles.

  He looked up for a moment only to see Patton shake his head at him and move to lean his head on his, before moving his hand to absentmindedly run through Remus’s hair. immediately and effectively limiting any function Patton would ever have in the future because Patton will forever be trapped, he's not allowed to leave now, he’s nice and soft and warm.

  Patton seems to guess as much as Remus hold tightens. Luckily he doesn’t make any noise of protest as Remus just hangs on uselessly, simply humming a little to himself. 

  “Nightmare?” Patton guessed, probably very easily, and he just nodded a little, Patton winced in sympathy “Oh baby, I’m sorry.” 

  Remus just shrugged, mumbling a small “s’cked” into his collar.

  Patton nodded in sympathy, shifting a little to hold him more against his chest so he could- if possible hold him tighter, “well you don’t worry now sweetheart, I’ll keep you safe from any more bad dreams” he promised.

  And Remus doubted that a little, but he didn’t voice that, instead just humming in acknowledgment before letting it drift off into silence, just melting against him.

  It’s only when Remus's eyes begin to droop that they realize there’s a problem, well multiple actually, whatever Patton's worried about and the fact Patton has the audacity to try and move.

  He voiced his displeasure immediately but Patton doesn’t stop trying to extract himself little by little “I’m sorry kiddo but we can’t sleep on the floor”

  Speak for yourself.

  He was anything but impressed by that answer, trying to tug him back, he was needy and clingy and Patton had promised so now Patton was stuck with him.

  Patton sighed, still not letting himself be pulled down, even as he squatted down next to Remus's side.

  And especially not as he picked him up.

  Remus startled momentarily but after spending barely a second settling in, he just happily melted into his arms, only to once again be dumped like the hottest trash into the bed “abandonment!” He cried out, utterly offended and heartbroken, Before hearing a fond laugh and being gently pushed over. 

  He didn’t even wait till the weight settled onto the bed completely, wrapping himself around Patton like a pretzel. Patton did his best to wrap his arms around him too, not seeming at all surprised, which honestly could’ve been a sleep deprivation symptom. Oddly enough Remus didn’t feel all that guilty.

  Patton was very obviously startled for a moment however when suddenly slightly sticky tentacles wrapped around him, holding him somehow even closer.

  He promised, so that meant he had to expect he would never be able to leave ever again, 

  Obviously.

  After a moment of what he assumed to be Patton getting used to his clinginess, he heard another small exhausted chuckle before Patton gently bonked his head on Remus’s, “goodnight bud,” Patton said softly, a moment passing before he continued, voice merely a whisper, “I’ll protect you against anything that would ever dare try to hurt you, you’re safe, I promise.” he told him, his tone so sweet and fond Remus wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow he woke up with a mouth full of achy teeth.

  Patton was soft, warm, nice, and safe. He felt like once Janus finally got settled he’d absolutely commandeer Patton all the time, just laying on him for hours on the couch as he dozed in the well-placed sun, he smiled to himself at the thought. He hoped Janus was adapting well, Remus needed to commandeer Janus again sometime soon…

  He exhaled a light breath of air and struggled to keep his eyes open.

  And soon he struggled more and more until he couldn’t, his eyes slipping shut, half expecting the usual monsters behind his eyelids, but nothing.

  He was safe.

  He didn’t have any more nightmares that night.

  _________

Roman can’t breathe.

  He’s gone,

  His brother is gone.

  If he paid attention- any attention at all, he should’ve seen something was wrong.

  There were signs, he knew it, but he just didn’t see them, and now Remus is gone and they can't get him back-

  It’s all his fault,

  Remus is his brother.

  For all their strife and Roman’s stupid insecurities, he loved him.

  Did Remus know that? What if he didn’t and Roman just lost every chance he had of telling him?

  What if Remus really believed, in solemn acceptance instead of his usual gleeful chaos, that Roman actually disliked- or hated him?

  Roman can’t breathe, everything hurts and his body curls up in grief-

  And then suddenly he blinks his eyes open, and he's in his room.

  His face feels sticky and he can’t tell if that’s from sweat or tears from the newest blight of his dreamscape.

  Remus is safe.

  If nothing else Janus would make sure of that, he acted like a doting mother- and a good one too with how protective he was of Remus,

  Remus was safe here, and Janus would make sure that stayed the case, he knew that.

  Remus was fine, and despite every instinct yelling at him to go check on him he knows Remus has always been either an extremely heavy sleeper or an extremely light one, and with everything that happened in the past month- and before that who knows how long, Remus would probably be woken up no matter how quietly he opened his door, and he needed rest.

  He didn’t need another canadian rindon lecture from Logan to know that.

  Cathardiam remin,

  Cardigan system,

  Whatever it was called.

  He just had to calm down and breathe .

  …Even if it took a while…

  It was an exhausting maybe five minutes later that he realized that no matter how much he tried talking himself down, no matter how many times he repeated breathing exercises or squeezed his pillow to his chest, none of it helped. And the longer it went on the more he didn't think it would. Because he still couldn’t settle his breathing down enough to even do something as easy as going back to bed.

  It frustrated him beyond belief. come on, realistically he knew everything was fine- well no it was far from fine, but Remus was safe from whatever was happening, he was safe-

  Then it clicked.

  Ah, so it was one of those nights.

  He groaned, slinging his leg off the bed clumsily as he headed to the kitchen with blurry eyes.

  Water would help,

  He just needed to not think for a second and he would be fine, nightmares sucked, but they weren’t real, he just needed to get out for a couple of minutes and not focus on it and then he would be able to fall asleep.

  Ooh, he could make some of that Ponyo milk- milk tea? Hot honey milk? He couldn't remember what it was called. but regardless it was always nice, sweet and warm, and comforting.

  Nightmares were nightmares, even if technically they could’ve been real if things had been different- if they found out later- if they were stupid and just moved on with what they had been talking about, assuming that it was his usual shenanigans -

  No matter the could have been, Remus was fine in the now, 

  He was fine.

  Roman was the prince, he just needed to focus on protecting his kingdom now that he had all of it back.

  And he needed to make sure Virgil didn't pick up on his anxiety, he had the awful ability to just know if you were having extreme anxiety.

  It was especially annoying when he just wanted to brood a little at everything seeming so much and he got interrupted by Virgil knocking on his door because apparently, that dull but somehow sharp pain in his chest was actually a symptom of a panic attack.

  And he didn’t need everything focused on him, he wasn’t that selfish.

  He rubbed his eyes as he entered the kitchen, easily making the move to grab a mug.

  He blinked, before rubbing his eyes again,

  A person was sitting on the couch.

  He grabbed a second mug.

  Seemed he wasn’t the only one with trouble sleeping- or staying asleep at least.

  He went through the familiar steps easy enough, heat up water on the stove so he knew the exact temperature, then, when it was just a minute or two away from whistling, take it off the stove and pour it into the mugs, add a little milk to thicken it up,  add a little honey, stir, and add just a little cinnamon on top.

  Done, easy.

  Then, grabbing the two warm mugs Roman headed to the couch to hopefully - if everything was okay- coax whoever was there to go back to bed at least relatively soon, or if everything wasn’t, give them some warm milk and let them just exist, a lot of the time that’s what Virgil and Logan needed.

  With tired sympathetic eyes Roman set down the mug on the coffee table in front of the person, eyes not adjusting to the light yet enough to tell who it was.

  He could have sympathy for them though as they startled horribly at just the realization he was there.

  “Drink, it’ll help” he offered, sitting down comfortably on the couch arm before taking a sip of his own.

  After a moment the side haltingly did go and reach for the mug.

  Letting the dull light from the digital clock hit him just a little, but enough to make out who he was visually.

  Remus.

 And okay, the nightmare was awful, and oh god it was so unfortunate that it was about Remus right now, like it was truly such awful timing. But, he was kind of glad that if nothing else it made sure Remus wasn't in the dark of the living room for who knows how long, all alone.

  Alone and quiet.

  Because Roman may have lost some of his knowledge on Remus long ago, but something he did remember and doubted to have changed, was that it was not good when Remus just sat alone silently, it was a twin thing actually, sometimes they both just shut down, it could have a cause, it could not, it just happened sometimes, and it sucked.

  And Roman did not want Remus to be all alone at what he could reasonably guess to be around two am, shutting down and possibly disassociating.

  And obviously, he was the prince and he didn’t want a damsel- well actually Remus has never been a damsel, not even close, even when they were kids. he’s been in distress but never a damsel so that's not a fair comparison-  even if it did help Roman’s persona.

  He didn’t want his brother to be alone,

  That was the simple explanation, no dramatization needed.

  He had no idea what had happened, he had no idea what made his brother quiet, but he knew it was awful and he wanted to be there for Remus if he allowed him to be.

  He glanced up from his milk and saw that Remus was actually drinking his. 

  And he seemed to, if nothing else, not dislike it, which was good considering it was Roman’s favorite non-slightly caffeinated drink so he made it a lot, which meant if Remus liked it maybe he could make it for both of them on cloudy days.

  And hopefully, the warmth would force out whatever cold thoughts were plaguing Remus's mind while he was too quiet to let them out.

  Honestly, as much as Roman wouldn’t admit it right now, he missed Remus.

  It really is god-awful timing too, this entire night. because if he weren’t so tired he’d probably be crying his eyes out from the nightmare, or having a breakdown from the stress that’s been building up from even before the whole closet incident, and Remus is similarly, clearly not at the height of mental health.

  So he’s five seconds away from a breakdown, and so is Remus, and he has very little confidence in his ability to comfort right now.

  but he wants to, even if he's only barely adequate- especially for a prince, he wants to be able to help.

  But even if he's a little stressed he's still more than happy to, if nothing else, spend time with and just be with Remus. When Remus allows it, it doesn't matter how badly timed the whole thing is, he’ll do his best to be the best brother he can be.

It's a quiet- maybe five minutes? Or ten? Of steadily sipping at their drinks in silence, letting the warmth wash over them slowly, before Roman abruptly realizes he's definitely not going back to his room anytime soon.

  Which definitely isn't a very unimaginable or grand realization, in fact, he probably should have realized it the moment he so much as saw Remus, especially because now he can’t really go get anything from his room as every waking moment that passed he could feel Remus’s eyes burning into his side, just watching him, and he doesn't know if there's a reason for it, but he still doesn’t want him to feel like he’s leaving him by going out of the room to get something.

  Luckily he doesn’t think there’s anything necessarily only in his room, there are plenty of spare blankets- everywhere , frankly. There's pillows, some snacks in the kitchen, he’s already in pajamas, he doesn't really need his comfort stuffed animal- a charming stitch plushie he’s attached a soft bow tie to.

  He’s good, 

  Which means he doesn't have any excuse not to get up, because if the stuff was in his room, he didn't have a reason to get up cause he still couldn't access it. Still, despite his mild annoyance, he should start setting up for staying out on the couch before he gets too exhausted.

  He dramatically drags himself off the couch, only really putting on a show for himself, but he’s entertained so it’s working.

  And he’s ecstatic to realize Patton- or whoever else had it last left the extra soft blanket out, the one often used for cuddle piles but also occasionally smuggled into someone’s- everyone's room for them to sleep with, last he heard it was in Patton's or Logan’s.

  It would work nicely.

  Luckily the pillows were already on the couch-

  Along with Remus looking at him,

  Just staring.

  It was slightly unnerving, which was probably a good sign? Healing and all the jazz?

  Still, he attempted to answer what he could only imagine the staring was for.

  “Don’t worry I’m staying with you, I’m just grabbing stuff to make it more comfortable- a prince needs his blankets you know,” he tried, tacking on a smile.

  And much to his relief and guilt, that was definitely what Remus was looking for, as once Roman had dissuaded the fears he was back to not looking at him whatsoever, instead, focusing back on the mug in his hands and occasionally playing with his sleeves- an almost lacy texture. some tension leaving him, not a lot, but enough to be noticeable and relieving to Roman.

  But honestly, even when Remus didn’t seem worried anymore suddenly the idea of going to the kitchen to get snacks didn’t seem desirable in the slightest, because okay they didn’t need snacks, it was late, he doubted Remus was hungry and he sure wasn’t. 

  It kind of made getting up a bit pointless since he only got up so he could actively pick out multiple things and he only got a blanket,

  But it was a soft blanket so he couldn’t be too upset.

  Especially not as he settled back down and the blanket practically buried him, it would work so well.

  So he initiated phase four of his plan- phase three? What was phase two- 

  …Phase one was ‘get up’, phase two was to give him the milk tea- what was phase three-

  So he initiated another phase in his plan.

  When Remus seemed to have finally finished his drink, placing it back quietly on the coffee table before leaning back, Roman threw half the blanket over him, fortunately missing his head so he wasn't suffocating, as it landed on him swiftly.

  And he could see the movement pass through the glaze, Remus looking down at the blanket in confusion than at him with even more confusion.

  Roman grinned in response before initiating stage five- or four? and summoning the remote, picking a movie, Lilo and stitch- he doesn’t think they’ve watched it recently and Remus used to adore it.

  Hopefully, he still does.

  He turned the volume on low and hit play, letting it become a comfortable white noise even as his eyes blurred slightly.

  He was so good at this.

  Kind of.

  He looked over to Remus, expecting him to be at least getting close to nodding off, Patton, And Logan- not that he’d admit it, would be dead asleep by now, though Virgil would probably require a little more coaxing.

  And it looks like Remus is the same, as even though he looks exhausted he’s not even sagging into the couch.

  He huffed to himself quietly, before plopping himself next to his brother- though a little hesitantly, being careful to be able to be easily moved or shoved away if needed.

  And that did seem to do something at least, Remus tensing a little. but he wasn’t shoved away so that was a positive.

  he didn’t think if it were him he’d be appreciative of someone staring at him while he possibly had an internal breakdown, so he looked back to the movie casually.

  “I wonder if we could create a stitch-Esque creature in the imagination,” he pondered.

  Nothing.

  He needed to be sensitive to the fact they are not close, and even though they are brothers they didn’t get to live as such for a long time- he knows that, however, he really wanted to find out what was wrong.

  Because okay sometimes these kinds of episodes just don’t have a cause, which sucks, because if nothing else it doesn’t give the thoughts a direction to go, which just makes it worse a lot of the time. However, oftentimes those ones are a lot shorter.

  So the fact that he seems anxious says something, he doesn't know what it says, but it says something.

  “Do you think-“

  “Why are you being nice?”

  Roman froze, head shooting to look back in alarm to Remus, who barely even had an expression.

  “I mean you were nice enough sometimes, but now you're actually acting like a brother and you didn’t really do that before”

  Roman felt suddenly gutted at just those words, frantically trying not to show just how much that hurt, especially because Remus was completely right. 

  He took a moment to try and desperately grasp what to say that wouldn’t sound stupid before slowly reaching over to the remote and pausing it, because okay now that it’s been thrown into the open they need to have an actual conversation.

  He took a breath.

  “Okay I’m tired, so don’t guillotine me if I’m not as eloquent as my usual princely self” he started off, trying to manage some humor, but having not even gotten a chuckle he moved on swiftly “...I guess I just realized how awful I’d been? I mean I promise I didn’t mean to leave, I didn’t even know I had ‘left’ until it had already been a couple of months,”

  “- But I definitely had the opportunity to try and reconcile, and I just didn’t? At first, it was mostly because I was so busy all the time, I barely even had time to hang out with the people living with me, but then it was out of stupid insecurity, which I took out on you, and I always knew it wasn’t fair and I needed to stop but I couldn't manage because of my own issues that I was trying to ignore- then I guess it just hit me because if I had stopped, I could’ve stopped it-“ 

  He cut himself off before taking a breath, again. “I could’ve actually been a brother to you again, I mean I never even disliked you, much less hated you, frankly I don’t understand why I ever tried making it seem like I did even with all the insecurities. It doesn’t make sense, and I definitely shouldn’t have taken it out on you. and- god, I’m so sorry, honestly, if you don’t forgive me that’s completely understandable, I was- I was a jerk, and a complete cotton-headed ninnymuggins, however, I will still do my best to be the best brother you could ask for, even if you don’t.”

  Once he said everything he thought he needed to, he carefully reached over to the remote and unpaused the tv, this time not making the mistake of putting it back. He didn't want the period of Remus processing everything he said to be completely filled with deafening silence.

He wonders if Remus would ever watch the show and sequels of Lilo and stitch with him...

  Honesty even if Remus brought the others- who would most likely be Janus and Logan, he would be ecstatic if he said yes, even with all of his issues with Janus, he’d be able to ignore them for Remus, because no matter his stance on Janus, he protected and helped Remus more than any of them had.

  After a minute he noticed both of their cups had finally been depleted so, very carefully, he extracted himself from the blanket, grabbing his mug and holding his hand politely for Remus’s before asking “do you want another one?” “nope,” Remus replied, popping the ‘p’.

  He nodded in acknowledgment to Remus before he made his way back to the kitchen easily, rinsing out the mugs and putting them on the side of the sink to wash in the morning- it’s late- or early- it would be ruder to wake everyone up by loudly washing dishes at whatever time it was right now than to leave it till he wakes up again in what? Five or six hours? So he didn't want to do it right now.

  He nodded to himself, yeah, and it wasn't like they’d care- err- Logan might care a little but as long as he washed them quickly it won't even matter.

  He hesitated as he was about to leave the kitchen, just staying there a moment longer as he just stood there, because God, he hated vulnerability, and he hated not knowing what will happen next, 

  But after that silent moment of dread was done he bravely made his way back, hesitant about sitting against Remus right now because if he decided ‘actually Roman was the bad icky’- not touch, just Roman - he may be the smallest bit completely heartbroken, not that he’d show it because it was fair .

  But it would disrupt the casual mental illness vibe of the room to go back to his first spot.

  So as a small compromise he sat next to Remus, almost touching, but not, and pulled the blanket over himself again and tried his best to just watch the movie again.

  It was maybe two minutes later when Remus leaned onto him uttering a simple “okay,” which okay what? What are you okaying Remus, please-

  Still, he took it as a chance, gently bonking Remus’s head gently with his own, and wrapping an arm around him before continuing to watch the movie oh-so-casually.

  Not that the situation was even slightly usual enough to be casual- and he hoped that that didn’t change, not because he would have to stay up, he was the utmost noble prince he could do that with ease, but Roman hopes Remus doesn’t have to deal with this often- or other stuff that could and probably does go hand-in-hand with this, panic attacks, disassociation, accidental self-isolation, purposeful self-isolation. all of it sucks. and he knows with whatever Remus had dealt with to get him that genuinely terrified at the reaction of something as small as a flinch, which honestly would’ve been shrugged off if they hadn’t seen his reaction to doing it, and the fact he got so upset he worked himself into- what he assumed to be- an awful panic attack, he knows that with that, baggage will come and he’s happy to be a helping hand even if chances are he definitely won’t be the first choice.

  Still though, even though he knows Remus will have to deal with stuff, and probably has already- just for someone else’s eyes, he still wants it to stop, or- well that's not even slightly realistic, at least for right now, he knew that. but if nothing else he wanted them- the episodes and everything else, to be able to get better, more manageable, much more manageable.

He would be a good brother.

  He wouldn't let himself not be from now on.

  All of sudden he felt a weight settle fully onto him, he whipped his head around to see what it was and it looked like Remus had finally fallen asleep.

  And he really didn’t want to ponder the fact that it was only now after that whole mostly one-sided conversation that he fell asleep.

  And if he did ponder it, he just hoped the answer to the troubling question was Remus just felt safer now that he knew for a fact the person in the same room as him would do nothing to hurt him.

  It doesn’t even sound like he was thinking about Remus, when he finds out who and what they did, they better run, Remus wasn’t nervous, he wasn’t quiet, his brother was loud and obnoxious and happy and he loved him for it, 

  He loved his family, all of it, the ones that weren't technically related but also were related if you thought about it long enough, and the one who is related, no matter how extensively he tried pretending he wasn’t- and didn’t, for a long while, Remus was his family and he loved him. 

  He was his brother.

  He absentmindedly looked back from- wherever he was looking, he stopped paying attention in favor of thinking, so he doesn’t know if he was watching the end of the movie or still looking at Remus. And instead just looked at the ceiling, neck bending uncomfortably, and finally allowed his eyes to do what they had been doing despite him the whole night, making his eyes blurry and tired, even as he didn’t take his eyes off the popcorn ceiling.

  “I missed you”

  He knows Remus is probably knocked out but he says it anyway.

  “I’m glad you're safe.”

  He continues after a moment. because he is, he’s safe , at this point he’s pretty sure if Remus tried not being safe Patton would wrap him in bubble wrap- which he’d probably go along with because it would be hilarious.

  And even if Patton didn’t, Roman and everyone else would be there, even if he just went to the imagination and got a scrape, not paying much attention to it, Logan would patch him up.

  And Whoever hurt his brother would never so much as see Remus again, 

  No matter what, Remus would be safe.

  Even if he wasn’t before, it was different now, they would make sure of that.