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#up on gravity hill
spilladabalia · 5 months
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METZ - Superior Mirage
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innovacancy · 5 months
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METZ Crystal Ballroom, Somerville, MA 17 April 2024
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senorboombastic · 5 months
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'Up On Gravity Hill' - Listen to the eighth episode of ’60 Minutes or less’, the new podcast from Birthday Cake For Breakfast – featuring Alex Edkins of METZ!
Words: Andy Hughes They said it couldn’t be done – ’60 Minutes or less’, the new podcast from Birthday Cake For Breakfast, returns for our eighth episode! Off the back of our last episode with Steven Hodson of USA Nails, we continue on with noise-rock frontmen with a chat featuring Alex Edkins, guitarist and choice shouter in gnarly power trio METZ. Formed in Ontario, Canada, METZ have been…
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symmetryofemptyspace · 5 months
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condohavenoking · 26 days
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i'm curious so tell me about your blorbos and why you picked the option you did
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spirited-splashes · 2 months
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Bill nye the cipher guy (click for full images)
Yep just wanted to draw bill today, out of pure human free will, free will, free will, freeF̷̡̡̛̱̮̮̺̫̅̒̑̎̓͐̑͗͠Ȓ̵͍̊̐͐̉̈́̓̃̍͌̔̓Ĕ̷̠͙̦͓̦͉̫̲ͅÉ̸͇̼̪͕̠͙̘̥͙̟͕͔̤̥͓̈͋͆͌̍̆̇͠W̴̢̱͇̠̘̗͉̖͆̑̈͐̈́̐̓̊͗̽̇̀̐Ì̶̖̟̼̭̿L̴̛̹̮̟͆̌̃̐̈́̇̾̐L̴̝̝͈̯̅͋H̶͖̞̓̎̂̏̃͋̿̃͆̄̑́͒̕͝Ë̶̹͔̯̮͓̲͉̌̋̏́̋̊͛̚L̶̢̛̜̐̆̐̃̾͘P̵̨̨̩͕̯̦͎̮̏̎̎́̈́̎ͅM̵̢̛͔̜͈͕̮̥̳͚̉̈͐̓̉̾̂̾̕͝E̶̫̻̺̺̘̞̋͂̆̄̈͝͝
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poppy5991 · 4 months
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What they said: Albert doesn’t have much stamina but he’s fast running downhill.
What Albert did:
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omegansamurai · 21 days
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Wow, okay, so you guys really like the Gravity Falls/Silent Hill story! Alrighty, I'll try to update that story next then! XD
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New Video: JOVM Mainstays METZ Share Woozy and Anthemic "Superior Mirage"
New Video: JOVM Mainstays METZ Share Woozy and Anthemic "Superior Mirage" @METZtheband @subpop @subpoplicity @dinealonemusic
Toronto-based JOVM mainstays METZ‘s fifth studio album Up On Gravity Hill is slated for a Friday release on Dine Alone Records in Canada and on Sub Pop for the rest of the world. The album, which is the JOVM mainstays’ first album in four years was engineered by Seth Manchester and features guest appearances from Black Mountain‘s Amber Webber and string arrangements by composer Owen…
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spilladabalia · 7 months
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METZ - 99
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List of words for the computer:
LONG POST- more under the cut
STANFORD- Pulls up a file on Stanford Pines, written by an unknown scientist. It discusses his extra finger and praises his intelligence, as well as calling him the “next evolution in the human species”.
BILL CIPHER- Takes you to the Wikipedia page for the Eye of Providence. Also took me to a Sesame Street video about a Jazzy Triangle and a Square. Not sure what prompted the change.
STANLEY PINES: Takes you to a list of EBay listings for brass knuckles.
FIDDLEFORD: Takes you to the music video for Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex.
SHERMIE: Nothing. I sure do wish we got some lore about Grandpa Pines.
GRAVITY FALLS: The text on the computer reads “never heard of it” and the red light on the bottom turns green.
ALEX HIRSCH: Leads to Google Images for “flannel”. Huh.
WEIRDMAGEDDON: Pulls up an article from the Gravity Falls Gossiper about how nothing happened at all and there was no apocalypse.
DISNEY: Screen reads “rat.gif censored for your protection”
SOOS: Leads to a page of writing from Soos himself, referencing many things (including Tad Strange being gay and madly in love with Woodpecker Guy. Love wins!!!)
DIPPER: Leads to a creepy yellow parchment with a message from Bill Cipher himself trying to trick Dipper into blinding himself by staring at the sun for 13 hours straight! Silly! (Also if you keep clicking on it, the page gets darker and blurrier until it implies we've gone blind)
MABEL: Causes stickers to appear on every available surface. Clicking it enough times leads to message “lab now fully Mabelized”.
WENDY: Leads to a note from Wendy that mentions a way to ward off evil triangles written in the bottom corner of the book.
GIDEON: Makes a web recording of Gideon scatting play. It ends with “I love you forever Mabel”. Please shut the fuck up you little creep.
TAD STRANGE: Plays a video of bread with smooth jazz in the background.
TOBY DETERMINED: Leads to a Google search for a restraining order. Holyyyyy shittttttt
WHO ARE YOU: “I could ask you the same question”
SEASON 3: “Season Two”. I guess that’s that lol
This was about all I could find. Please reblog with anything else you can discover! Thank you, fellow Gravity Falls enjoyers!
And make sure to give some love to all the wonderful folks down in the comments! Many of these answers and tips come from what they've found. I can't list everyone, unfortunately- I didn't expect this post to get popular- but, to everyone who's helped out, THANK YOU.
FURTHER EDITS:
BLIND EYE: Pulls up an optometrist’s eye exam. Each line reads “WKHBOOVHH”. Too lazy to translate atm.
PIÑATA: Bill Cipher getting beaten to death /hj
MASON: A note from Dipper listing several anagrams of Gravity Falls characters’ names. You can check in the comments for the answers.
AXOLOTL: “You ask alotl questions”. Thanks for the pun, Alex, but I’m kind of losing my mind rn
MYSTERY SHACK: Leads to a Google search for Confusion Hill, the real-life Mystery Shack!
MYSTERY: “?”
MONSTER: Leads to several YouTube videos for “There’s a Monster at the End of this Book.”
VALLIS CINERIS: Leads to an analog-horror-esque video of Baby Bill and his parents, who have been blotted out by static, and a voice repeating “WHY DID YOU DO IT” over and over again until you stop the video.
PORTAL: “Portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build a new one.”
GIFFANY: You need to put it in multiple times. Several warnings about breaching firewall, followed by a message from GIFFANY saying “SOOS! I still love you!” or smth like that, and then GIFFANY herself briefly appearing onscreen. Trying again after that summons her more. Also lets you download some ZIP files.
DORITO: Summons an image of a spinning Dorito, followed by the most cursed image of Bill Cipher I have ever seen.
GOD: A short video of an axolotl in a tank with a Bill Cipher statue plays. This is Alex’s axolotl, shown in the Book of Bill countdown.
REALITY: “Is an illusion”
FILBRICK: “I’m not impressed”
CARYN: “I knew you were gonna write that”
GLASS SHARD BEACH: Leads to an image of the New Jersey Hell Hole.
ANY CUSS WORD: Pulls up a paper reading “NOT S&P APPROVED. WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP” with an image of soap below.
MATPAT: Leads to a video of MatPat next to a conspiracy board, holding the Book of Bill. He tells us we’re on our own.
BABBA: Plays an audio recording of Dipper singing BABBA. Not Disco Girl, a different song.
CRAZ: Leads to the Jem and the Holograms theme.
XYLER: See above.
AD ASTRA PER ASPERA: Shows us two new journal pages from Ford and Mabel, studying the Cipher statue. They’re definitely worth the read, I teared up looking at them.
ANSWER: “Question”
QUESTION: “Answer”
SEASON ONE: “Season -1: Antigravity Falls”
SEASON TWO: “Season 1” …maybe scratch what I said about Season 3. Or don’t. Things are starting to damage my brain.
CURSED (got from @slimslamflimflam decoding the candle! Thanks!): Shows two pages talking about the dangers of drawing triangles, with the bottom of the second page showing several drawings of Bill and the words “HE IS COMING, RUN”
THE UNIVERSE: “Hologram”
RIZZ: “Life privileges revoked. Now releasing poison gas.” This response is repeated if you type in SKIBIDI or FORTNITE.
BABY: Shows an ultrasound of a fetus Bill Cipher, captioned “Look at what’s growing inside you! See you in nine months, papa!”
JOURNAL 3: “The Journal for Me”
PACIFICA: Leads to a note from Pacifica calling Bill Cipher “ick” and telling us to follow her on social media under “Platinum Paz”
PLATINUM PAZ: Pulls up an image of Northwest Manor with the llama symbol overlaid and a “NW” logo beneath. There's also a short story beneath!
LOVE: Leads to an audiobook of “The Love Triangle”. Need to read later.
BLENDIN: “The time agent lost and presumed incompetent”. Uh…?
SCARY: Leads to another audiobook of a cheesy Goosebumps-esque horror novel written by Bill himself, apparently.
DIVORCE: Shows you the logo of the bar Bill went to after his fight with Ford… Billford bitter exes confirmed
ROBBIE: Leads to the cringiest messages ever. He’s such a failure I love him
CONSPIRACY: Leads to a video of a man losing his mind over the countdown counting up. I feel so seen. (I have been informed that his name is Charlie Day, he's an actor from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and that one meme, he had a quote on the back of the Book of Bill, thanks to everyone who explained that to me, I'm sorry, I'm uncultured)
RAT: “Thurburt’s number?”
BLANCHIN: Leads to a YouTube video on how to blanch vegetables.
TJ ECKLEBURG: “Never mention that name again.”
NOTHING: “Something”
SOMETHING: “Nothing”
BURNSIDE: “Burned inside.” Well… at least we know what happened…
WADDLES: Leads to the pig placement network!
THERAPRISM: Pulls up a sign from the theraprism regarding an emergency situation. The code reads "THE OLD ONE".
SHAPE: Pulls up an article on Plato, triangles, and Ancient Greece. This article is presumably written by Bill.
LLIB and BILL: THIS leads to the Sesame Street video every time.
WEIRD: Shows a video of a frightened Weird Al panicking about being trapped in a computer. Sorry, man...
CLONE: Pulls up an image of Paper Jam Dipper, a warning about not getting him too close to liquids, and an option to print.
TRIANGLE: ")" or "Tri harder."
THEYLLSEE: "Is seeing believing?"
DEER TEETH: "For you, kid!"
LIFE: "Life: 72% complete. Now loading: death."
DEATH: "Life's goth cousin."
PINES: "A good family tree."
OWL TROWEL: A slab of hieroglyphs, translating to an ancient ad for an owl trowel.
SCALENE: "Life form not found." EUCLID has the same outcome.
WELL WELL WELL BEING: Some assorted notes from Bill's Theraprism file. These include his greatest love and fear, his art therapy notes, and notes on his phobias. Three clicks is required to read them all.
BOO BERRY: Offers a poem on the meaning of life! Wow! I feel so enlightened!
LOVE YA BRO: Shows us a doodle from Stan of one of his and Ford's Sea Grunks adventures, and another code on the back. It translates to "Kings of New Jersey." I've been told it lets you download the code as a font.
SORRY: Reveals the repaired Backupsmore photo, with a note from Fiddleford about his and Ford's growing friendship. Fiddauthor fans, we are eating well tonight!
HORROR: Pulls up an image and report on The Always Garden, which is essentially a cheap Italian restaurant hidden in the backrooms.
HOLOGRAM: "Universe."
NAITSUAF: Pulls up a page that looks like it would be from the Book of Bill, in which Bill tries to convince us to sell us his soul. Clicking "ARE YOU READY?" pulls up a contract where we can sell our soul to Bill (with an alarming amount of coded fine print. Will need to translate later). You can print this document out, back out, or sign it right there on the web. Hitting "SIGN" causes the words "PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU!" to appear, and the document to close. In other words, I no longer have a soul.
IMSTILLONYOURMIND: Plays a recording of the ocean, with Stan faintly talking in the background. Poor Ford ain't quite over the divorce yet...
HOTXOLOTL: Pulls up a "MOST WANTED" doc on the henchmaniacs.
SEVENEYES: Pulls up a faded polaroid of The Oracle with text on the back that reads "LEAVE HIM. Escape to dimension *blurred out*. It's against the rules but it's the only reality where you'll be safe from him." The code at the bottom (once again decoded by the powerhouse that is @slimslamflimflam) reads "Set a course for Dimension: R34LITY." Is another Cipher Hunt in the makes? Only time will tell, hehehe.
JUST FIT IN: Plays an old commercial with a few moments of speech in the glitches at the end.
EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES: Shows a transcript from a therapy session at the Theraprism. Bill discusses his relationship with Ford and cuts off the session when someone brings up his parents.
NOT A PHASE: Shows a Google search for "black hair dye stained an entire bathroom."
PAPER IS BOOK SKIN: Instantly downloads a page of fleshy pink paper with the word "ENJOY" written on it!
SHAVE YOUR GRANDMA: Pulls up a few more pages about the human life cycle.
LIES: Pulls up an image of "The Game of Lies" board game, with a long stretch of text from (I assume) Bill, ending with "LIE UNTIL YOU ARE NOT LYING ANYMORE." Someone has some issues...
SAY BAAAA: Pulls up a neat little rhyme about being Bill Cipher's obedient flock of sheep. The code at the end translates to "Black Sheep."
ONE EYED KING: Plays a video of a hypnotist's spiral, with Bill proclaiming "YOU WANT TO PLEDGE YOUR SOUL TO BILL CIPHER" in the background. There is also morse code that translates to "NAITSUAF", leading to a previous discovery- the soul contract.
TANTRUM: Pulls up a transcript of a spat between Bill and Time Baby.
TITANS BLOOD: "HOOT HOOT! Password please!"
CURSE WITTEBANE: Pulls up an image of a Bill Cipher ouija board.
FORDTRAMARINE: Pulls up several rejected files from Ford trying to convince us Fordtramarine exists.
SUCK IT MERLIN: Pulls up a tapestry of Bill riding a unicorn. The code at the top reads "DAY MARE VS NIGHTMARE."
HEY NERD: Plays a commercial advertising things such as a Bill Cipher calendar, the Scrubba-Bill, a severed hand, and the entire Cygnus-XIII galaxy. Half of the image can be found in the Book of Bill.
DESTRUCTION IS THE FORM OF CREATION: Pulls up a frantic page of notes from post-portal-shit Fiddleford. A sticky note at the bottom has a code that reads "Unreality."
RUBBERHOSE: Plays "The World is Small Ever After for All."
IRREGULAR: Shows us Bill's mugshot in color. The code below reads "No prison or attention span can hold him."
UNREALITY: Offers a guide by Bill on how to become immortal.
GUN: "Oh yes oh yes oh yes they both."
ABUELITA: Leads to a video on vacuuming the walls.
YES: "What's McGucket's favorite soda?"
NO: "Your loss..."
REPEATEDLY CLICKING STAN: This stuff deserves a section of its own, away from the OG Stan stuff. It takes you through several Ebay listings on various Stan-ish items until you get to a page written by Bill about Stan's secret shames. "Ex-wives" further confirms our theory on Stan and Eda's relationship, as well as revealing many other bits of lore. "Fears" is somewhat goofy to be honest. "Secret Shames" reveals that Stan is a fanfiction writer and that his mother is the only member of his family who truly loves him outside of Ford and the kids. "Unreported Crimes" is somewhat goofy as well. "Failed Products" basically confirms that Stan is that world's Alex. "Lowest Moments" is genuinely depressing, and "Darkest Thought". Well. I'm not spoiling it lol. And the bit on "How He Beat Me" causes Bill to get more and more frantic/angry the more you click it! Comedy GOLD!
DIPPY FRESH: Leads to a Reddit post of the Burger King Kids Club.
MEOW: Leads to a TikTok of a man playing the Gravity Falls theme on that cap keyboard.
HELP ME: Pulls up another video of Alex's axolotl and the tiny statue. Rip Bill ig :/
R34LITY: Pulls up several photos of the henchmaniacs in live-action, captioned "They found a new home."
JOURNAL 1: "The journal of fun."
JOURNAL 2: "The journal for you."
FBI: "Your webcam is on. We are watching."
BURNED INSIDE: Shows an image of a charred Oregon Parks badge and nametag on the ground.
HECTORING: Plays a silly little country song!
OROBOROUS: Pulls up two journal pages about Fiddleford buying Ford an axolotl to keep him company, and Bill subsequently telling Ford to get rid of him. There's also some code on the first page that reads "CHONKY BOY." Ford, you wonderful dork.
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senorboombastic · 5 months
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Release Rundown - Flesh Creep, Jane Weaver, Joel Harries, Metz and USA Nails
Words: Ben Forrester Flesh Creep – We Need You To Bleed(No Time) This Midlands based crew have been making waves in the underground scene since their blistering debut EP back in the winter of 2021. Having spent the past two years building momentum on both the release and live front, the quintet are ready to kick the door down with this absolutely barnstorming LP. With a dream runtime of 18…
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iris-qt · 4 months
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𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚒𝚘
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🫧 ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
🫧 ʙɢ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ: ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ!
🫧 ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ
🫧 ᴀ/ɴ: ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪᴄ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴏɴᴇ. ɪ ᴀᴅᴏʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴜʏꜱ’ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴀꜰʀᴀɪᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴏɴᴇ!
🫧 ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴜɴᴡɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ɢᴏʀɢᴇᴏᴜꜱ ᴠᴀᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɪɴ ɪᴛᴀʟʏ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇɴ’ᴛ ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ᴅ ʀᴜɴ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇxɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ: ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ
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Azure blue skies and endless summer breeze tails you through the rolling green countryside of San Gimignano, Italy. This was true, pure bliss. A flow of relaxation that you haven’t felt since…Merlin knows when. The stress of endless exams and finals, everlasting prefect duties, and bickering with your horrid nemesis really left a mark; as represented by your unrelenting dark circles and deep forehead lines.
But at least all of that was giving way to the Italian atmosphere and it left behind a happy girl that would donate a kidney to spend her entire summer here. Unfortunately you were only visiting for a week before school began once more; your final year. This brought a sense of dread to your heart as you would miss the enchanting castle. Your second home.
You pushed that aside as you zoomed through the countryside of this ravishing country on your cute little teal Vespa. Truth be told you’d never driven a muggle vehicle before, but there’s always a first time for everything.
And so your lack of experience with muggle vehicles was the cause of you not being aware that gas has to be filled. You thought the meter getting closer to 0 represented the dissipation of your happy mood as you were, per usual, plaguing yourself with paranoid and pessimistic thoughts. The sudden shuddering of the Vespa made you lose balance and you began veering off track, you and your precious vehicle zooming down a hill with the sheer force of gravity. You screamed for dear life, and, at last, landed in a shallow pond with an enormous splash.
You bobbed up, gasping for air, and scrambled out of the lake quite ungracefully, summer outfit ruined and soaking wet. And suddenly, you heard a scarily familiar, devilish chuckle that just so happened to find your tragic predicament amusing: your mood as drenched as your clothes.
As you slowly glanced up trembling, not knowing if your shaking was from the water, shock, pure rage, or all three, you made direct eye contact with a certain boy musing at your tragedy. His eyes were overflowing with humor as he was leaning against a tree, his tanned legs crossed over each other. He seemed to be reading a book which he put down as he had found something better worth his attention. He gracefully stands up, a complete contrast from how you scrambled out of the pond, much to your annoyance.
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, angioletto mio?” He smirks.
“Nott,” you scoffed. “Small world…or cruel fate,” you stand there, dripping wet, arms spread out like a martyr.
Of course you knew the insufferable Theodore Nott was Italian and often visited family here, but you didn’t think you’d be subjected to his presence in such a big country, especially in the less populated countryside. It was truly just cruel fate that brought this spawn of satan before your eyes.
“I didn’t know you were that desperate to see me,” Theodore cocks his head to the side, quite enjoying this arrangement. “Risking your life on a muggle vehicle zooming to my town.”
You roll your eyes, and if you were in a cartoon universe, trust that there would be steam coming out of your ears.
“Trust me Nott. I had no intention to run into a walking headache on my vacation.”
The insufferable git kept smiling, moving closer now, standing right in front of you so you could smell the usual dizzying scent of sandalwood and pine. Summer edition Theo had a hint of citrus mingled in with his intoxicatingly annoying scent.
“I already got you soaking wet, now you just have to get naked,” he laughed with the most disgustingly smug look on his face that you almost slapped off.
“Are you done?” You glared at him, ready to storm off and free yourself from the torment of his presence.
He shrugged, looking you over.
“Need help drying off?”
“I need help out of this conversation.”
“Oh stop, y/n, you can do better than that,” he grinned
You sigh very well aware you had no other option. You hold out your arms and shut your eyes waiting for his casting of the Hot Air Charm. Since you had resolved to live the simple muggle life for this vacation, your wand was locked in a vault at your hotel room.
Theo laughs, “Are you waiting for a kiss, principessa?”
You open your eyes, confused. “No, I’m waiting for you to dry me off like you said, idiot.”
He laughs again shrugging and says, “I don’t carry my wand around my domain, there’s no need.”
“Then, pray do tell me, Nott, what was your plan in helping me?”
He gives you the most shit-eating grin and grabs your hand, scaring you a bit, then begins pulling you up another grassy, verdant hill: one that isn’t hiding a body of water behind it. You have the urge to resist, but just give in. The drop from your adrenaline-rush you’d been maintaining for the past 3 days had collapsed, causing you to come down with an attitude of resolve. He dragged you up the hill, your wet sandals making squelching sounds, each one demeaning you more and more. You hated this shift in power where the perfect git was overshadowing you. You hated it. You hated him. I think.
“So why were you in the countryside? Other than wanting to see me so badly, of course.” He looks behind him and shoots his watercolor poison into your soul as he makes that unblinking eye contact. Another thing on the meter-long list of things you despise about him.
“I was in a self-deprecating mood and decided to ruin my record streak of relaxation by finding you,” you deadpanned as you rolled your eyes for extra affect.
“Y/N relaxing? You must be lying.”
He chuckled a bit as you two stopped at the top of the vast hill, looking down to a meadow of wildflowers. They glowed like colorful jewels in the blinding, comforting summer sun.
“What’re you gonna do, push me off?” You smirked, half wishing he’d do so. Maybe this was all a nightmare. A beautiful, lush, tinged with the familiar scent of Theo nightmare.
What you didn’t expect, however, was him saying:
“Precisely.”
And with a surprisingly gentle tug, he pulled you down on the top of the hill, pushed you back in a laying position before you could protest, and quite literally pushed you down the hill. You screamed as you, for the second time that day, gave all free will up to gravity, rolling down the hill at a crazy speed. You knew Nott was your unproclaimed but painfully obvious nemesis but you never thought he’d attempt murder. You finally stopped and lay there, sprawled on your back, heaving from the rush. It was kind of…fun?
Theo rolled down right next to you, laughing, as he sat upright. There was grass in his curly, brunette hair that you couldn’t help but reach out to pluck. He looked away quite shyly. Did your eyes deceive you, or did he just blush? You must have heat stroke. Good thing you had your wet clothes to keep you cool: they were significantly drier now.
You stand up and Theo starts laughing in a way you’ve never heard him laugh before. It was almost…endearing?
You put your hands on your hips teasingly and ask, “What? Do I have something on my face?”
He chuckles affectionately. “Mio angioletto, you have something…everywhere.” He bursts into laughter again. “Beware grass woman rising from the Italian hills,” he gasps through his fits of laughter.
You couldn’t help but smile so wide; his happiness was almost as contagious as his teasing.
You look down and realize the grass was sticking all over your outfit, covering you in verdant greeness. There was an itching sensation bubbling to your skin, but you ignored it. You couldn’t help but join in with his laughter as you could imagine you looked like green Chewbacca.
“Is this your sick way of tar and feathering me, Nott?”
He recovers from his laughter and stands up with you, peeling a wet blade of grass from your cheek.
“Alas, you have uncovered my motives,” he teases, grinning.
“Well, your actual motives didn’t work. I’m still sopping wet.” You wringe out the side of your shirt for dramatic affect as it produces a downpour of water.
“There’s more to my motives, mio angioletto. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” He grasps your hand again with a beautiful look on his glowing face and pulls you up to do it all over again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Until the sun is caressing the distant hills, getting ready for its nightly departure. The sky is painted shades of teal and purple; still bright but just so. The breeze is still gentle, and so is Theo’s hold on your hand, as he guides you back to his tree by the wretched pond.
Don’t ask yourself what you and him were at the moment. Don’t ask yourself how years of rivalry and pranks. Of stress related to the both of your never-relenting efforts to beat the other. Don’t ask how that all faded away, as you sat in the setting sun.
Unfortunately, it isn’t in your nature to just ignore logic. And Theo knew it. So he distanced himself from you in light of the passing moment of rolling down flower dotted hills, letting go of your hand. It was as if an igniting flame in your heart had been stifled. He sat across from you by the tree. A silence falling between you two.
The slight itching you had felt earlier had been slowly increasing, and as the fun fell away, it began grabbing your attention. The feeling was in your throat now…something wasn’t right. And that’s when you remembered something that Theo’s warm presence had melted away from your mind. As if your brain had tricked itself to forget about this important fact to permit you and Theo’s fun. You were allergic to wildflowers. If exposed to them for a long time? Horribly allergic.
You started coughing and then choking, pointing to your neck to alert Theo to the problem. His eyes widened as he realized what was happening…he had noticed your uncharacteristically red skin, but he had dismissed it by thinking it was the sun’s doing. How could he overlook this?
Your choking grew louder as you fell onto the grass, Theo scrambled around crazily not knowing what to do in his initial panic.
But then he remembered
He pulled out his wand and cast a healing spell which would diminish every affect of an allergic reaction. You started being able to breathe again and your throat cleared, along with your skin returning to its original color and texture. You were gasping in shock, slightly embarrassed that you had been in such pathetic situations in front of Theodore twice today. You were both holding each others’ arms and breathing deeply. You recovered slightly, attempting to lighten the tense mood.
“Well, if your true motive was to kill me, Nott, I’d say you almost succeeded.” You let out a weak, unconvincing laugh.
“I..I am so sorry, y/n, I genuinely didn’t know..” he looked crestfallen. More shaken than you in fact. Wait a minute…
“Hold on,” you raised an eyebrow, your shock of almost dying completely gone and replaced with a new shock. “I thought you said you didn’t have your wand?”
Theo’s eyes widened sheepishly and he grinned, looking as guilty as ever.
“Ok listen before you throw a fit-“
“I don’t throw fits, I diplomatically argue.”
“Before you throw a tantrum, let me explain.” Theo runs his fingers through his hair looking nervous, and, for the first time, failing to make eye contact.
“I just…I knew you’d leave if I just dried you off. You only stayed because you needed help and, well…” he sighs.
“Well?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about you all summer, y/n. I lay awake all night and I day dream all day. I swear I even saw you in the stars..” he gives a nervous, strained laugh.
“You never leave my thoughts, but I was sure it was just because I had to prove myself. To beat you. But you didn’t even leave my brain after school ended. You haunt me every day. When I saw you I thought I was hallucinating, like, genuinely.” He runs his hand through his hair, looking the most vulnerable he’s ever looked.
You look at him, eyes blazing with emotions you had denied yourself. Emotions that fought to be seen but you always pushed them back. You couldn’t fight back anymore. What were you even fighting against? God, you had some serious issues.
“And so you lied to make me stay?”
Theo nodded, looking to the side, up at the darkening sky.
“Maybe it was the universe that brought me here, because what are the fucking odds?”
You both laughed at that, eyes shining despite the escaping light around you.
“Theo, in my last 3 days I’ve been in your beautiful home country, I’ve visited so many places. The Trevi Fountain, the Pantheon, the Uffizi Galleries. So many amazing places, and I’ve experienced the most inspiring ordeals. But today was, by far, my favorite day.”
Theo regains his composure after hearing that, playfully judging her with his shoulder .
“Because of me, hm?”
You roll your eyes, looking away.
“Say it, principessa..” he prompted, gently holding your face and focusing it towards him.
You dramatically sigh and admit, “Yes, Theodore Nott. Because of you.”
He smiled the most breathtaking smile. If only you could capture a picture of it, but unfortunately your camera went down with the Vespa. You lay your head on his shoulder and squeeze your eyes shut, so that his bright smile could be engraved into your mind. Definitely a core memory.
After many moments of comfortable silence, Theo perks up.
“Oh! By the way, dolcezza, I realized I said the pickup line wrong when you struggled out of the swamp.”
You rolled your eyes at his impertinence and said, “First of all, it’s a pond, Theo. And second of all I did NOT struggle. I emerged like Aphrodite in a shell.”
“Ok my little swamp monster,” he annoyingly nuzzled his nose into your hair as you fought to hold back a giggle.
“Okok let me say the line.”
“Go ahead, Theo.”
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
You cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Because you have the face of un angelo.”
He grinned his shit-eating grin as you pretended to retch at the line. Jumping up with the fireflies around you, you tagged Theo, reigniting that competitive streak you both so closely shared. You both laughed like maniacs as you raced up the hill again, fireflies dancing around you in a waltz.
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hotvintagepoll · 8 months
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Propaganda
Cary Grant (The Philadelphia Story, His Girl Friday, Bringing Up Baby, Charade)—just the peak of old-school Hollywood sexuality. The glam, the suits, the gentle wit, the acrobatics, those eyes that always looked like they knew exactly what movie they were in and were laughing at the joke...
Vincent Price (Laura, Leave Her to Heaven, House on Haunted Hill, The Masque of the Red Death)—svelte, stylish, horrifying, beautiful, wickedly funny, camp and gorgeous and evil. he was an art connoisseur who advocated passionately indigenous art, he was an actual literal gourmet cook, he was so liberal he got greylisted during the mccarthy era for being too rad, he's my favorite muppets guest of all time
This is round 4 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage man.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Vincent Price propaganda:
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Submitted: this fancam
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Cary Grant propaganda:
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"My Golden Age of Hollywood professor, who was very outwardly gay himself, put it this way: Even though Grant's sexuality was kind of an open secret in Hollywood, the public couldn't know in any real way. But anybody could see that there was a queerness about him, so he was casted for roles where he physically embodies his masculinity in a non-explicit but queer way. Bringing Up Baby is famous for the scene where Grant wears a frilly robe (pictured below, but what people don't always realise is that he plays kind of an awkward nerd in that movie. He's a hot awkward scientist in a grand robe!!! Hot!!! In The Philadelphia Story, one of my famous movies of all time, he plays C. K. Dexter Haven, a rich, sarcastic, supposedly abusive guy. And yet, what we see is this laid back, dandy-ish figure, who absolutely does not feel threatened when a woman he supposedly loves (Katharine Hepburn) starts having feelings for, and hooks up with another guy (James Stewart). He lets a drunk Stewart into his office and helps him get his job back! Obviously that is the script and not the actor, but the whole film, and that scene in particular, shows him having this very queer attitude of openness toward Hepburn and Stewart, which is only amplified by the casting of Grant and his portrayal of the character. Anyway, this is not an essay arguing for The Philadelphia Story to be considered a queer film, all I will say is: he's super hot in it."
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The link to the above mentioned frilly robe scene from Bringing Up Baby: "I just went gay all of a sudden!"
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last minute cary grant propaganda: the last few paragraphs of that new vanity fair article about him and randolph scott that just came out 2 days ago on cary's birthday where he calls it "gravity collapse" and "love at first sight" and says their souls touched and and and i'm actually sharing this mostly because it makes me emotional but also because a vote for archibald is a vote for love. this is my message. apologies for sounding mildly insane.
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reareaotaku · 2 months
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Rev! Pine Twins vs Pine Twins [Pt I]
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When Bill was destroyed, all harmony was restored in Gravity Falls
At least, that's what everyone thought. What they didn't know was a portal from another dimension opened in the middle of the woods. It wasn't discovered until many years later
Years later, the Pines twins returned to Gravity Falls as Older Teens/Young Adults
You were thrilled to see your old friends again. It seems you weren't the only one either. You and the rest of the group [Dipper, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda] went into the forest for old time sake
What you all weren't expecting was aa portal in the middle of the woods. You had seen a blue glow and not thinking you decided to go towards it
Dipper tried calling your name, but you were enchanted by the blue light
What you didn't expect was to see the portal down a hill and fall off the cliff you were on
Dipper saw and was quick to grab your hand, but you ended up slipping out of his grip and falling into the portal
The portal shut when you fell through and Dipper started to freak out
Starts having a panic attack and tracks his sister's attention. He doesn't even know how to speak and tell his sister what happened
Though, when he finally does get it out, the first idea is to ask Ford what to do
You rubbed your head when finally landing. You groaned as you pushed yourself up and looked around, confused. It was... Gravity Falls? You tried calling your friends names, but there was no answer
You push your way through the forest, before finally entering the town, only to realize something was very wrong
This was not Gravity Falls... At least, not your Gravity Falls
It was different... The first thing that gave it away was a big sign that said 'Gleeful Twins Tent of Telepathy'
"Yeah... That's not right."
You went through the town, because this universe had to have a Ford and maybe he could help you
You were brought to a large tent that had people pouring in
Imagine your surprised when you bumped into a taller male and when you went to apologize it was-
"Dipper?"
His surprised outweighted yours, though. "Y/n?" He shook his head. "no, no."
You looked around before shaking your head, "No, that's me. But I'm not from here."
"Not... from here?"
"Yes! I was in the forest with my friends and I saw this porta-"
"Okay. Okay. I'll help you."
"Really?"
"Of course."
Little did you know, that the version of you died a few years back, along with some other town's people and there was no way Dipper Gleeful was going to help you leave. He had already lost you once, he wasn't going to lose you again
"And- And she fell through this portal!" Dipper was finally able to get out.
Ford hums, rubbing his chin, before going to his books. "Ahh, yes. She probably jumped through an alternate universe. We just have to find out when one and get her back... We just have to find a timeline that has an anomaly."
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fluffypotatey · 8 months
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okay so:
the year is 2021. the month is june. the new season of hermitcraft, season 8, has just started, and everything is great! the hermits are all messing around, having fun, building insane things within the first week of the server being active, and generally having a good time. everyone's collected themselves into little factions, pranking each other, and it's all the fun, lighthearted, mostly-vanilla content hermitcraft is known for.
and then the split between minecraft versions 1.18 and 1.19 is announced. the delay of new terrain, and especially of new mobs like the warden, considerably disrupt several of the hermits' plans. but it's fine, they'll figure something out, they're professionals, and it mostly goes unnoticed.
about two weeks later, on november 9th, grian turns to mumbo jumbo in one of his episodes, and asks the famous question that would seal hermitcraft season 8's fate:
"mumbo, is the moon... big?"
suddenly, the fans panic. they search back through videos and streams, and realize that the moon had been abnormally large and stuck in a full-moon phase since october 30th. the Moon Big event has begun.
this is where the roleplay really starts. once the moon's size has been brought up, the hermits start a weird combination of scrambling to figure out why the moon's growing, and how to stop it- but also of ignoring it, hoping it won't be a problem, hoping someone else will deal with it. the moon keeps getting bigger, more hermits start realizing it's going on, and a creeping sense of dread starts to grow. but it's fine. it's fine, right? they do little plotlines like this all the time. they'll figure something out, the moon will go back to normal, and we'll laugh about it when this is all over. it's fine.
and then, blocks start flying away. just floating up out of the ground, and falling right back down! like for a moment, a square meter chunk of dirt has decided it's a ballerina and leaped out of the ground! but it's fine, right? the blocks are coming back. no lasting harm is done. they're going to fix it all... right?
the moon gets bigger. it's growing every day- local hermit weirdguy joe hills measures it every stream. the blocks start flying higher. gravity starts getting... weird, with players getting the slow falling effect at random, and being lifted off of the earth themselves. the players form cults and rituals and whatnot to try and appease the moon, convince it to leave them alone, making plans to escape. nothing works. things keep getting worse, and the moon keeps getting bigger. but it'll be fine. these storylines never leave lasting harm, or at least they never have before. they'll be fine.
and then the blocks stop coming back, just floating into the sky forever. the players have the slow falling effect more than they don't now. the moon is now so big it's visible even during the day, and fills the entire sky at night. they start planning their escapes in earnest, and say their goodbyes. some hermits jump into a void hole in the overworld (it was the centerpiece of their village). some flee to the End, some to the nether, some just fly with elytras and hope they can get far enough away in time. one brave hermit, tango, flies himself to the moon in a futile attempt to blow the whole thing up before it can crash.
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but in the end, the moon crashes into the server, and everything they'd built was destroyed. and the whole time, there'd been nothing any of them could've done. season eight was over, a full six months before anyone had expected it to end, and season nine wouldn't start until about three months later. and im still not okay about it.
(here's a cool animatic of the moon's crash! honestly i dont think you need too much hermitcraft knowledge to get the gist)
(also the moon crash happened on the day before my birthday lmao.)
….
holy shit
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