#update she was just like 'i lost a close friend today :(' ??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonseonghwa · 1 year

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Rewind - Choi San

You and San had always been close, and when you joined him to his usual friday night parties, your view of your best friend seemed to have changed more than you’d like.

word count: 3k

warnings: bestfriend!san, unprotected sex (boooo), hickeys, choking (slightly), creampie

a/n: i’ve been sooooo busy but i’ll update cruel summer in a few days! also not proofread so excuse my mistakes

ateez masterlist

Your detectable boredom hung in the air around you, cutting through the intense smell of liquors and marijuana. Three things you wish were easier to ignore. You were standing in the corner, with a red-colored cup in your left hand as you debated on just leaving right now. Your friend was here, somewhere in the huge house, and you were waiting for him to finish whatever he was doing just so you could finally go home.

Honestly, you were never one to enjoy parties, always declining politely and saying you had other things to do. You didn’t mind telling your best friend ‘no’ over and over again whenever he begged you to come with him. Which explains the surprised face this morning when you told him you’d join today.

You were here because you heard Mingi would come. A person you’ve been eyeing for a long time, but never had the confidence to talk to. These sorts of parties make those kinds of things much easier. The conversation will flow, and alcohol courage will keep it going. You thought you would see him tonight, but he never showed up, which explains your wish to leave. And to be very honest you wouldn’t stay here any longer even if he did show up.

You finally noticed San, your best friend, on the dance floor, his hands wrapped around a random girl’s waist as she was saying something in his ear. He was laughing, making you roll your eyes. It wasn’t anything new to you. He has taken multiple girls to your shared apartment, resulting you in sleeping with earphones every time he did because of the clear moans resonating through the thin walls.

He was for sure making them feel good though, and sometimes, you would think about wanting to be in their place for once, before shrugging away that thought immediately. He was your best friend, and roommate, so there were boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed.

You watched him for another moment before deciding to leave, not wanting to go back home with him and the plus-one whose voice would be heard the rest of the night.

San, on the contrary, was constantly thinking about you. He knew about your little crush and figured you were somewhere too lost in Mingi’s kisses to come and talk to him. He was excited to hear you were coming to the party, finally joining him in what felt like ages, but when he heard Mingi was coming, he got the message and left you alone for the night.

However, when he noticed your dress in the corner of his eyes, he followed your form to the entrance, immediately breaking away from the girl as he followed you. He pushed the bodies in front of him out of the way, trying to keep up with you and your fast tempo.

‘’Where are you going?’’ He yelled after you when he caught up to you outside, making you turn around, surprised to see him jogging towards you.

‘’I thought you were leaving with that girl, so I was heading back already’’ You said, planting your hands in the pockets of the leather jacket you borrowed from San, the jacket he thinks is way too big on you. He just can’t deny how good it looks on you, his clothes, claiming you as his in some way.

‘’I wouldn’t leave with someone else when I took you to this party, I thought you were with Mingi’’ He said, starting to walk towards the direction of your shared apartment, making speed up to walk with him.

‘’Didn’t show up’’

‘’You’re too good for him anyway’’ He muttered, clear enough for you to hear as you let out a chuckle.

‘’You seemed to be enjoying yourself out there’’ You said, changing the subject so he wouldn’t make your heart flutter like that again.

Because he looked absolutely gorgeous right now, the light sweater accentuating his toned shoulders while his hair fell loosely on his forehead, a smirk plastered on his face at your comment. The dimly lit streetlights illuminating his face. His steps matched yours, while he subconsciously made them smaller so he would be at the same pace as you.

‘’She wasn’t interesting’’ He simply said, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the road in front of him. The sound of your steps on the concrete could be heard on the quiet road, and you couldn’t help but feel a little proud of yourself that you were the one San was taking home at the end of the day.

You just hummed, closing your jacket a bit more at the night breeze, before he threw his arm around you, his body warmth warming you up more. Your heart tightened, a reaction you didn’t see coming at the small move he has done multiple times before.

You continued the comfortable silent walk until you were in front of your door, entering the code as you felt San’s body dangerously close to yours, his hand ghosting your side. When you got inside, you immediately made a beeline for the couch, dropping your exhausted body on it as San chuckled at you.

‘’Let’s go to sleep’’ He grabbed your arm, lifting you from the couch easily as your body crashed against his, his hand on your waist supporting you before guiding you towards his room. You kept walking to your own room though, but the hand on your wrist stopped you. ‘’Stay with me’’ He said, making your eyes widen.

‘’Why?’’

‘’You sleep in my bed most of the time, why not today?’’

Because I want to kiss you so bad, it’s killing me.

‘’Because I just want to watch my drama a bit more’’ You lied through your teeth, not daring to tell him the actual reason. Because you don’t trust yourself right now with the drinks you’ve had tonight.

‘’Just stay with me tonight’’ He almost begged, making your insides twist at the thought of sharing a bed with him right now.

You don’t know what switched inside you tonight, but you were constantly thinking about San, a problem you usually never have. You thought it could be the way none of the men inside the frat house interested you, thinking about how much better San would be at something, or how San wouldn’t make you uncomfortable when he touches your sides when the other guys did.

The interior of his room reflected his personality. Black and white themed, not too much but still detailed with the paintings he hung on his wall. He was neat, neater than any boy of your age that you’ve seen the rooms of.

Before you knew it, you were in his bed, wearing his t-shirt as he stayed a fair distance away from you, but not far enough to keep the countless thoughts about him out of your mind, and if it wasn’t for your tiredness, you wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep this quickly.

That tiredness slipped away when you woke up a few moments later. San’s hand was wrapped around your waist, splayed out on your bare stomach while his crotch pressed against your ass. His mouth was so close to your ear that you could feel his pillowy lips against the side of your neck. You had to bite back a whimper when he pulled you closer, the friction making you realize just how turned on you were by the feeling of his hands on you.

It was bad, you knew it, so you tried to fall back asleep. You shifted, trying to get out of his tight grip as he only pulled you closer, a groan leaving his mouth which went straight to your core. It took a couple more minutes of shifting before you felt yourself growing more and more frustrated.

‘’Sannie’’ You whispered, looking back to see his eyes flutter open.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ His raspy voice spoke, lips so close to yours, you could feel his breathing against them.

‘’You’re too close’’ You said, voice weak and shaky.

‘’Hmm? You don’t want me close?’’ He teased, his hand rubbing your stomach softly.

‘’I do, but it’s dangerous’’

‘’And what if that’s exactly what I’m looking for’’ He said, moving his body which resulted in him hovering over you as he moved your hair out of your face. You didn’t dare to say anything, afraid of what might come out of your mouth. ‘’Tell me,’’ His head moved to your neck, placing his lips against your collarbone, ‘’You really want me to stop?’’ he placed another kiss, making your breath hitch as you struggled to keep yourself from moaning.

‘’Cat’s got your tongue?’’ He chuckled, a side of San you’ve never experienced showing. His own cat-like eyes look at you with that gaze you recognize. As if he’s telling you he’s got you right where he wants you to be.

‘’I’m going to get some water’’ You said, shoving yourself out of his grip before stumbling towards the door. You didn’t know why you wanted to get away, but you were so scared of finally showing yourself to San. The confidence you always had slipping away when he was so close to kissing you. You filled your glass with cold water before gulping it all away in one go. Your hands leaned against the counter, contemplating what you were going to do now.

The door of San’s room opened, revealing him as he walked towards you with his sweatpants hanging low on his hips, exposing his extremely well-toned torso clad in his workout compression shirt. There was a smirk on his face as he approached you. He grabbed your glass before filling it up with water himself and taking a small sip.

‘’You good?’’ He asked, trying not to smile at your flushed red face. You were trying to play it cool, looking at him with those eyes of yours, but he noticed your foot tapping on the ground, indicating how nervous you seemed to be.

‘’Fine’’ You hated how weak your voice sounded.

He laughed, placing the glass on the counter. ‘’Why are you nervous?’’ His voice was still raspy. He moved a bit closer, feeling his body heat against your skin as he leaned towards your ear, ‘’Do I make you nervous?’’ He asked.

‘’You do’’ You said before doing something you will probably regret tomorrow, but those worries were for tomorrow only.

You crashed your lips on his, catching him off guard as he smiled in the kiss. His hands pulled your hips closer to his, making you groan as he sucked on your lower lip before entering his tongue in your mouth. You felt every part of your body on fire, something you haven’t felt in such a long time.

Your hands were tangled in his hair, pulling it back, eliciting a deep grunt from him. His hands went to the back of your thighs, lifting you up to sit on the counter as he went between them, kissing you like there was no tomorrow. Your hands wrapped around the back of his neck, so lost in the feeling of his lips on yours. He was slow with you, fingers rubbing your thigh and leaving the skin burning with pleasure.

He took you in his arms, walking you to his room again as he dropped you back on the bed, your legs wrapping around his waist. He sat back, pulling off his shirt as you did the same with yours, revealing a dark purple lace bralette. His favorite color.

‘’Did you wear this one for me, hm?’’ He teased, placing his lips underneath your ear, making you sigh in pleasure as you nodded, not daring to tell him you were thinking about him when you bought it.

He kissed you again, his hand around your waist making you arch your back against his torso, feeling his way bigger body against you as it caged you between him and the soft mattress.

He had imagined this before, whenever he brought a girl over, he would think about the sounds you would make if you were in her position and the way your soft skin would feel against his.

‘’You’re so hot, can’t believe we didn’t do this earlier’’ He muttered, breaking away from the kiss as he kissed the top of your breasts while fumbling with the edge of your panties, your breath coming out staggered by his movements. ‘’Always imagined it’s you whenever I bring a girl over’’

Now that was a comment you didn’t expect, and one that made your panties ever wetter in just a few seconds.

‘’Please just fuck me already’’ You whined, growing needy and just wanting to feel him deep inside you. He tutted at you, his hand moving away from your panties.

‘’We’re going to do this my way, and I’m going to take my time’’ He said, ‘’Want to see all of you’’ He added, kissing down the valley of your breasts and opening your legs with his knee.

You bit your lip, his lips coming close to where you needed them the most. You looked down at the view, his head between your thighs, a view you would probably never forget.

San felt the same way, feeling your soft skin under his fingertips, your small breaths and whimpers music to his ears as he teased you slowly because he never wanted this moment to end. It felt like a dream. His lips went back to your stomach, kissing their way up to your lips again.

‘’Can I take these off?’’ He whispered, pulling your panties down when you nodded, exposing yourself to him. His hands then went to your waist, lifting you up as his fingers undid the clip of your bra.

He gawked at you, making you hide your body with your arms as his hands grabbed your wrists. ‘’Don’t hide’’ He pushed you back down against the bed, this time pulling off his own trousers and boxers, leaving him naked in front of you as he smiled at you, making butterflies erupt in your stomach.

‘’Do you want to do this?

‘’Yes’’ You whined, high on the feeling of what was about to happen.

San entered two fingers, making you throw your head back in delight. Your hand came up next to your head as you held onto the pillow tightly, pleasure erupting in your body as he held your hips in place with his other hand. His fingers went up to your clit, rubbing it slowly as you moaned his name over and over.

‘’Please San, I need you inside’’ You said, pulling him towards you for a kiss as he smiled at your needy state.

‘’Yeah, need my dick?’’ He said in a cocky tone, wanting to see you beg for it.

‘’Yeah- need it now, please’’ You said, the feeling of his fingers driving you near the edge.

“Condom?” He asked, looking into your eyes.

“I’m on birth control” You assured.

However San didn’t tell you that you were the only one he asked, but because it was you, he couldn’t help but want to feel you. All of you.

His hand went around your throat, holding it softly while he locked his eyes with yours, his fingers leaving you as you felt his tip enter you. He pressed a bit harder on the sides of your throat, making you moan out of bliss as you felt his hips meet yours.

‘’So good, baby, all mine’’ He whimpered at the pleasure, slowly pulling out, then pushing in with the same speed. You felt the drag of his cock inside your walls, feeling every vein and rolling your eyes back when he pulled out again.

He kept the slow pace, fucking you deeper every time. His hands were all over your body, gentle touches keeping you close to him. You were seeing stars, lost in the pleasure and his lips on the side of your neck.

‘’Mingi could never fuck you like this’’ He said, sucking and creating marks to show off to others that you were his now. ‘’Hm? Would he fuck you better?’’

‘’No, he can’t’’ He sped up at your answer. His hand went to your clit, rubbing circles, getting you closer and closer to your high. Your nails were digging into his neck, his hand placed on your hip, holding you in place as his hips snapped deeper inside of you. His groans went straight in your ear, his deep raspy voice like music. He grabbed your leg, hoisting it over his shoulder as the angle made you see stars.

‘’Gonna- ah’’ You mumbled, not able to form a proper sentence. ‘’Gonna cum’’ You moaned, watching the way he slid inside you easily as you threw your head back, the high taking over. Your brows were knitted together as you came, making it hard for him to last any longer.

‘’Good girl’’ He praised, stroking your sweaty hair out of your face as he pounded deeper inside of you. ‘’Where do you want me to cum?’’

‘’Inside, please, fill me up San’’ You stammered. ‘’Need it, need it so bad’’

He stilled inside you at your words, before releasing his load deep inside you, groaning as his head was buried in the crook of your neck. You stayed like that with him for a while, until he pulled out, kissing your cheek softly.

‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked, making you nod with a smile.

He got up, threw on sweatpants as you closed your eyes, still in bliss, before you felt a wet cloth between your legs, San cleaning you up before handing you his shirt. He dropped beside you, pulling you to his chest.

‘’We should do this more often’’ You chuckled, making him smile against the top of your head.

‘’Like a regular thing?’’

‘’I mean, if you want to?’’ You mumbled, suggesting friends with benefits with San was something you never thought you would do.

‘’I definitely want to’’ He chuckled, lifting your head and placing a kiss on your lips before you snuggled a bit closer.

#choi san #choi san smut #san smut #san imagine #san fluff #ateez san #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez #choi san fluff #san x reader #san fanfic

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scoonsalicious · 6 months

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Unwanted: Chapter 15, Undermined - Pt. 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, self doubt, Bucky doubt

Word Count: 487

Previously On...: Jade confronted you in your lab, trying to get you to convince Bucky to talk to her again. Like, gurl, what?

A/N: Since this part and the previous one are so short, you can have them both today! Feeling generous. Chapter 16 will start tomorrow!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

You were uncharacteristically quiet a few days later as you and Bucky were going over some documents for your upcoming mission. In all the time since he’d been on active duty, this would be the first mission the two of you would actually be going on together, and you were looking forward to it as an opportunity to spend some time reforging your bond as friends. Or, at least, you had been until your run in with Jade in your lab.

“Penny for your thoughts, Pocket?” Bucky asked, having taken note of your solemn behavior.

“Hmm?” you inquired, looking up from the document you had most definitely not actually been paying attention to, lost as you were in your own swirling thoughts.

“Something’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours,'' Bucky said with a smile. “Care to share with the rest of the class?”

You debated divulging the source of your concern with Bucky. On one hand, Jade remained a sensitive topic between the two of you, but on the other, you so longed to confide in your best friend. “Just something Carthage said to me the other day,” you told him eventually.

Bucky sighed and put down the document he’d been perusing. “Lemme guess- she said something that’s making you question how I feel about you?”

You shrugged, turning away from him so you wouldn’t have to meet his eyes.

“Sweetheart,” he said, placing a large, calloused hand over yours, “she’s trying to make trouble. She sees an opening right now, since you and I technically aren’t together at the moment, and since I refuse to even look at her, she’s gonna do whatever it takes to try and get under your skin, to get you to call it quits for good. She can’t manipulate me no more, so now she’s coming after you. You can’t let her get to you.” The way he said ‘technically’ told you he just saw the current state of your relationship as a temporary formality, a momentary blip in the correct order of things that would eventually be righted with time. It gave you hope.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you said, turning to face him. “She’s just trying to start shit.”

“That’s my girl,” he said with a smile, cuffing your chin. “I know I haven’t given you much cause to believe in me when it comes to how I feel about you of late, but I swear, I’m gonna keep doin’ the work to rebuild that trust until I prove to you just how much I love you. How important you are to me.”

“I know,” you told him, your voice soft. “And I want you to know that I do see the work, and I appreciate it. I’m hopeful that we can get back to where we used to be, eventually.”

“Me, too, darlin’,” Bucky said, returning back to the document he had previously discarded. “Me, too.”

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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mama2bears · 16 days

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Starting Over Again Chapter 8

Warnings: Sexual content - not too much detail, (ONLY FOR 18+), Talk of bruises/injury, sharing shower, nakedness

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updated. Been busy with work. Next chapter will be the last chapter. I already have it finished and just need to do some editing on it. Hopefully I will have it posted later today or tomorrow. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Chapter 8

“So what is everyone doing today,” Tyler asked, taking a seat next to you at the table. Most of the team had already finished their breakfast.

“Dani and I have claimed the gaming system.” Boone stated, “but if anyone wants to join us..we can split into teams!”

“I want to send up the drone, get some shots of the area.” Lily said.

“I am going fishing!” Dexter added with a smile. “I see there's a pier a few miles down the road. Maybe I can bring some fish back for dinner.”

Everyone cheered at that idea and started clearing the table to go about their day.

“What about you?” Tyler looked at you with a soft smile, “What would you like to do today?”

“Stroll on the beach, collect seashells, play in the waves a little.” you smile.

“And build a sand castle.” Tyler added with a grin. “Let's do it!”

“Really?” you asked, “You don't think it's boring or stupid or anything?”

“Darling, I'd do anything with you, and to be honest, that sounds like the perfect day.”

“Hey, Y/N..come with me to the RV for a minute?” Lily asked.

“Sure.” you stand and place a hand on Tyler's shoulder and a light kiss on his cheek, “I'll be back in a minute.”

“Okay.” he squeezed your hand and watches as you walked away, lost in thought.

“Earth to Tyler...” Boone was saying.

“Huh? What?” Tyler looked at his friend.

“I said Dani and I are going to grill some burgers for lunch. Lily is coming back for lunch, but Dexter said he wants to grab a sandwich or something at the prier. I was asking what you and Y/N are doing for lunch so we know how many burgers to grill.” Boone grinned, “But you weren't paying any attention to me.”

“Sorry.” Tyler apologized. “We'll probably come back here for lunch. We are just going to be right down there.” he motioned to a stretch of beach that was just out the front door.

“So...I hear you and Tyler are spending the day at the beach,” Lily flashed a smile, leading you into the RV. She rummaged though some boxes and pulled out a bright red bikini. “Here, you can have this...go knock his socks off.”

“Oh..I don't..I don't know about that.” You blushed.

“Girl...go for it!” she winked. “You can even change in here and just completely surprise him once you are there.”

“Thank you.” You smile ducking into the tiny RV bathroom and replacing your bra and underwear with the bikini before slipping a dress back on.

A few minutes later you and Lily come back in the house laughing, causing Tyler to raise an eyebrow, “What's so funny?” he looked at you confused.

“You'll find out later.” you wink at him and Lily giggles.

As everyone parts ways to go about their day, Tyler collects a blanket and you got a few towels before heading down to the beach.

You loved the feeling of the shifting sand under your feet. You know as the sun rises and the temperature heats up the sand will soon become hot, but now, in the early morning hours, it was a just starting to warm up from the cool night air.

“You okay?” you asked, grabbing Tyler's hand as he stumbled and grabbed his leg.

“Yeah, I am fine. Just lost my footing a little.” he gave you a smile, not wanting to ruin this perfect day. Truth was, he would be okay once they got off of the shifting sand, but right now, it was hell on his leg.

You grab his hand and squeeze it tightly, “We can go back if you want.” you offer.

“Never.” he smiled, “I am looking forward to giving you the date you deserve.”

Gradually you both make your way down close to the water's edge and lay the blanket down, tucking the corners into the sand and laying the towels out.

“How are you feeling?” Tyler asks, gently placing a hand on your left side.

“Sore, but okay.” you give a smile, “How about you?”

“Nothing that a little time at the beach won't fix.” he pulls you into a kiss, then takes your hand, “How about we go for a little walk, look for those shells you wanted to find?” he asked, “I hear first thing in the morning is the best time.”

“Well, actually....the best time for shells is after a storm. More shells wash ashore during a storm...but morning would be second best.” you grin as you two walk along the shore line, the waves washing over your feet.

“Oh there's one!” you see a big conch shell rolling in the waves.

“I got it.” Tyler reached for the shell as the waves pulled it just out of his reach.

“Ah, you missed it!” You hurry and reach down to try and catch the shell, only to have the waves pull it out father.

“Oh, well...maybe we'll find another one.” you give in, a hint of disappointment in your voice.

“I'm getting you that shell.” Tyler chased the shell further out into deeper water and made another grab for it, losing his balance and falling into a wave, his head disappearing under the wave for a moment.

“TYLER!” You screamed, “you okay?”

“I got the shell!” He grinned, holding it up.

You push though the waves and run out to the waist deep water where he was and grabbed his arm, “Oh my God, Tyler, are you okay?” you practically were yelling at him.

“Yeah, I am okay. The wave gave me a softer landing.”

“You scared me to death.” you grab his hand and help him stand, “I was afraid you hurt your ribs again falling.”

“I am okay.” he confirmed handing you the shell, “for my beautiful lady.”

“Thank you.” you kiss him softly and hold his hand back to shore. Tyler stops at the blankets and slides his wet pants off, revealing a pair of dark blue swim trunks, then he tried to pull his shirt up over his head grimacing in pain. “What's wrong?” you ask concerned.

“I am trying to get this shirt off.” he sighed, “but it's wet and sticking.” he gasped.

“Here, let me help.” you help him pull the shirt over his head and your eyes immediately go to the bruises covering his back and chest. You carefully run your hand over his chest “I am so sorry.” you whisper.

“Darling, there's nothing to be sorry for. I would rather deal with this pain and these injuries then see you get hurt.” he leaned over and placed a tender kiss on your lips, “I owe you my life. You saved my life that night.” he whispered, “I'll never forget that.”

“You saved my life that night as well.” you whisper.

“And I'd do it all over again.” he leaned in closer to you and captured your lips in a long slow deep kiss.

“Do you need to go back to the house and change?” he asked.

You smile at him, stepping back a few paces, “No...I think I'll change here.” you slide your dress up over your head, revealing the red bikini and heard Tyler suck in a breath.

“Wow...” he whispers.

“You like?” you asked.

“No...” Tyler shook his head, “I don't like it.”

“Oh...” you look a bit taken back.

“I love it!” he grinned, pulling you towards him for a kiss.

You grimace and he pulls back, “Sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you.” he leans over to look at the stab wound, “Is it bothering you?” he asked, softly.

“Little..but not bad.”

Tyler carefully runs his hand down your side and then he notices all the bruises and scars running across your stomach and up your back. “My God, Y/N...I didn't know it was this bad.” anger flashed in his eyes. “He did all this to you?” he asked.

You nodded, “Yeah, but let's not talk about him, okay?”

“Alright, Darling.” he kissed her softly. “What shall we do next?”

“Take a mid morning nap on the beach?” you grin, sitting down on the blanket and stretching out. At least a little rest.

Your side was starting to bother you, and you were sure Tyler was in pain by the look on his face, even if he denied it.

“Sounds good to me.” you laid down next to you and wrapped his arms around you. As you were staring out across the ocean, he was looking at you with a grin.

“What?” you turn towards him with a smile, catching him staring at you out the corner of your eye.

“You're just so beautiful.” he whispered, kissing your lips softly, trailing his lips from your mouth, down your neck.

“Tyler...” you moan as he tenderly brushes his hand across your stomach and pausing at your bikini top.

“Want me to stop?” he asked, desire deep in his eyes.

“What if someone sees us?” you ask.

He glanced up towards the house, “We are far enough down the beach. They can't see us from the house and no one else is around. “Hold on.” he held you close to him and rolled off the blanket, laying directly on the sand and the blanket now covering you. “Better?”

You nod, “Yeah, but we shouldn't be doing this, not with your broken ribs.”

“My hands aren't broken.” he grins, pressing his lips firmly against yours in a long deep kiss. “If you want me to stop, tell me now.” he moaned, ducking his head under the blanket to remove the bikini top.

“Don't stop...”you moaned, feeling his lips and hands caressing your body.

* * * * *

“Hey Boone!” Dani called, looking at her phone.

“What's up?”

“I was just checking our YouTube feed. Someone posted videos and photos of us leaving the hotel and picking up Ty and Y/N at the hospital.”

“Yeah..we got about a million followers. They probably were interested in how T was doing. We never did update them.”

“Maybe...” Dani said thinking, “But they keep asking questions about our whereabouts. It just doesn't seem right to me. Our fans know we are chasing the storms, and if we aren't, that's our private time. They don't ask a lot about where we are if we aren't chasing. This person has posted several times a day.”

“You're right. That is suspicious.” Boone frowned. “Has anyone said anything about us being down here?”

“No. Everyone just assumes that we went back to Arkansas to rest up for a bit.” Dani informed him.

“Good.” Boone nodded.

“Should we tell Tyler?”

“No, that's just going to cause a lot of worry for no reason. As long as no one suspects we are here, then let's not worry them about it.”

Dani agreed, “I'll keep an eye on it and make sure no one discloses our whereabouts if they do see us.”

“Maybe I should do a quick video, give people a heads up?” Boone suggested.

“Yeah...good idea.”

Boone fixed his phone and made sure nothing was in the background to give away his whereabouts and then began, “Hey Hey fan base! I know we have been flying under the radar lately, but as you know, a lot has happened in a short amount of time. Listen, I need ya help. One of our team members has a crazy guy after them. It's personal business and I don't want to get into details, but we haven't had much luck with the police. That's why we've been laying low. Tyler and the team are all doing good, but listen, if you do happen to see us out and about anywhere, please don't disclose our location...for the sake of the team. We'll update you when this situation has been solved. Thank you fans! We love you!”

The sound of the door opening caused them to look up. Boone smiled, seeing Tyler and Y/N come though the door, hand in hand. Both of their hair was ruffled and they were covered in sand, breathing hard with their faces were flushed.

“Hey guys, I am just about to start the burgers.” Boone called, trying his best not to look at the couple. He wanted to say something smart, but he also didn't want to embarrass either of them.

“Yeah, I bet they've worked up an appetite.” Dani giggled.

“We are hungry.” Tyler shot them a look, “Thanks Boone. We're going to take a shower and then we'll be out.”

“Hmm hmm...no problem.” Boone held his laughter in until Tyler and Y/N had went into their room.

“Whoa boy, I bet they're going to have an active week.” he giggled and Dani playfully slapped his head, “Oh hush! What if they hear you!”

“I'll start the shower for us.” Tyler states, kissing you softly, “You wanna head back down to the beach or stay here?”

“Right now that bed is looking awfully inviting. I vote we stay here and watch a movie after lunch.” she said.

“That sounds like the perfect ending to a perfect day.”

You pull out your pajamas and a pair of shorts for Tyler before meeting him in the bathroom. He had already stripped down and was getting in the shower when he extended his hand towards you, “Join me?” he asks.

You let the bikini fall to the floor and enter the shower, where Tyler pulls you into another long slow kiss. He runs his hands slowly over your body, kissing every scar and every bruise as if he could kiss away the hurt.

“You're beautiful and I love you so much.” he muttered against your skin, moving his lips up to your neck and reclaiming your lips as his own.

Boone, Dani and Lily were already eating the burgers by the time you and Tyler finally emerged from the bedroom. All three of them passed knowing looks.

“Your burgers are over there by the grill. We did save you some.” Boone smiled.

“Oh, and don't worry about anything that might of happened on the beach today.” Lily grinned, “I didn't fly my drone over that way.”

“Oh my God, we didn't think of that!” you muttered into Tyler's ear and he laughed.

“So...um...how's the water?” Boone asked as you guys sat down with the burgers.

“Perfect.” you say.

“Well, it was a bit salty.” Tyler grinned.

“And there was a shark.” you grinned, looking over at Tyler.

“I bet that shark's name was Tyler, wasn't it?” Dani laughed and the rest of the team joined in.

“Yeah..it was...it was.” you blushed.

Once lunch was finished, Tyler stood and took your plate and his into the kitchen. “Y/N and I are going to lay down for a bit and watch a movie. When Dexter gets back, tell him we expect fish for dinner!”

“I'll help make something. Don't worry.” you tell Dani and Lily as Tyler leads you into the bedroom.

“What movie?” he asked.

“I don't care.” you crawl into bed and snuggle down into the warm covers and soft pillows.

“Okay.” Tyler flips on Pet Sematary.

You pull the covers up over your head and hide, “That's going to terrify me! The original scared me!”

“Nothing to be scared of when you got me here, Darling.” he crawls into bed next to you and holds you tight. “I think we need to put this day on repeat for the rest of the week,” he whispered, kissing you softly.

“I wouldn't complain about that.” you sigh, snuggling into his side a little closer as the movie began.

Chapter 9 (Final Chapter)

Tag List

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#twisters fic #twisters x reader #twisters fanfiction #tyler owens x reader #tyler owens fic #twisters fanfic #tyler owens x you

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117luv · 1 year

Text

THE PARENT TRAP — LHS | CHAPTER 4

synopsis: jungwon and ni-ki met each other at a summer camp and found out they were fraternal twins. this leads to events where the two ex-lovers, heeseung and yn, are reunited after 14 years by their children.

genre: exes to lovers, smau, fluff

pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader

warnings: cursing, poor attempts in humor, grammatical errors, marriage, pregnancy, parenthood, miscommunication

taglist: CLOSED!

a/n: hi my luvs! a lil late than my expected time to update but im doing better in terms of updating (cheers to me) and an eventful chap for today, also ill be trying to fix all of my old works links since many had been having problems with the links not showing up, ne ways have a great day n love yaaa <3

masterlist | previous | next

As the both of them waited for Yn to fetch them. Ni-ki's heart felt like it was jumping out of his chest. The woman who birthed him and the same person he had longed to hug are within arms reach and not a dream. He wondered if she would like him or not, but all of those thoughts went away when they heard a voice just a distance away calling out Jungwon. A beautiful woman came out of the car wearing a simple black dress and waved in their direction. They walked towards her, and she immediately hugged Jungwon, while Ni-ki was silently looking at the mother and son having their moment. This is when Yn noticed Ni-ki's presence and asked him to come near her. He now had a clear view of his mother, whom he only knew through a ripped picture from years ago.

"Hey sweetheart, are you Jungwon's friend?" she asked him, "Yes, I'm his friend. Nice to meet you Ms. Park" in which she replied, "No need to call me Ms. Park, just call me "Aunt Yn" and also does your dad know that we will be with you?" — "Yes, he's aware that i will be with you.", "Okay, thats sounds great and boys go ahead and sit on the car" and while Jungwon sat inside, Ni-ki finally had the courage to ask her for a hug, in which she immediately did as she gave him the tightest hug. He had never felt so happy to be able to see and hug his mom after all these years.

taglist [CLOSED] : @yangwaa @emikisses @yohanabanana @arizejkt19 @skuwu-blog @beatr2x @svarcq @softiehee @enhastolemyheart @deobitifull @emxshu @bucketofhiros @lost-leopard-beanie @soobin-my-beloved @azurez @flwrshee @beomgyusonlywife @lalalalawon @yanagisprettygf @astrae4 @myjaeyunn @sesame-street-lol @yumilovesloona @jhopesucker @omgjwon @yoonjunshi @wannatinyus @yeahhemmings- @coupscheri @dearyjw @neozon3nha @mevalemadrws @wonyoungsvirus @ilvsoup @dneltrise @chirokookie @noascats @sxftiell @onionzzzs @nokacchan @fairy-of-sugar @i-yeseo @02zluvbot @iamliacamila @nicholasluvbot @ilovewonyo @ddazed-lhs @tobiosbbyghorl @youmenotyummy @minhoie

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ja3yun · 10 months

Text

The Sun That Always Burns | S.JY pt.3

sim jaeyun x afab!reader

warnings: suggestive (smut-ish flashback), angst, lost love, pet names, not many warnings tbf, and not proofread. anything I missed please lmk!

wc: 10.3k+ (honestly, i need to make these shorter)

synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. however, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.

part 1 | part 2 | part 4

a/n: hi! I'm giving you this chapter kinda quickly. heavy appearances from my wjsn ults because they are now integral to the story <3 will update the next part during the week

4 years have passed since you left. No contact with your family, sometimes opting to send them a Christmas card with no return address just to let them know you’re alive. You missed them like crazy, more than any words could explain. It had been so long sometimes you wonder if you should go back, even for your mum’s birthday but it would be too awkward. The dramatic teen you left behind is who they knew you as, not the woman you’ve grown up to be.

College changed you dramatically, for the better you like to hope. Your roommate Eunseo quickly became your other half, showing you the ropes of Avanti, Being a year older than you she was accustomed to the college, she picked you up when you needed it the most and she didn’t even have to. You thought she took pity on you at first, just taking you under her wing because you were a crying dismantled mess. But she was simply just the loveliest person in the whole world. You wouldn’t have made it to today without her. She left college last year and got a job close by so you saw her often and you were thankful for her every day.

Throughout your college experience you did the typical; study, party, make questionable life choices at said parties. But one thing you couldn’t do was get into a relationship.

You started hooking up with guys in your second year, just flings and one-night stands. Eunseo supported your habits, “I will always support women's rights and also their wrongs” she used to say every time you pre-gamed and she never asked why you didn’t get into a relationship.

Jaeyun’s name hadn’t left your lips in 1460 days. A choice that you made as soon as you stepped off the bus in Pyeongchang. Jaeyun’s name also hadn't left your mind in 1460 days. Every touch from another felt wrong, every chat up line, every unwarranted dick pic. It wasn’t him so it didn’t matter to you.

You started to enjoy yourself more as time went on, creating a new friend group and new memories. By the final year of college, you were content with your life, finding a degree in film was a fluke but you ended up loving every bit of it, an internship was on the horizon at HYBE Media to shadow a music video producer, your hair routine finally working out. Everything was coming up Y/N. This was the right choice.

Yet you still thought about Jaeyun every day. What was he up to? Did he like living in Busan? Was he with someone else? Granted you don’t like to think about that last one too often or else you get a tightness in your chest. You wanted him to be happy but selfishly you didn’t want to know if that happiness was because of someone else.

“Helloooo, Y/N, are you even listening?” Eunseo’s hand waves across your face as you come back from your zoned-out state, “Tell me what I just said.” She huffs and crosses her legs and arms, sitting back knowingly. Eunseo had invited you to a coffee date in a quaint little shop outside of your university. She originally introduced it to you on your second day here and it became your favourite spot. Laughing, crying, and hungover, you both occupied this little shop as if it were your second home.

You smile guilty and laugh, “You were talking about how much you love me and that we should get married,” you shrug and tilt your head jokingly.

“Weirdly you are close!” Her pointer finger is now in front of your face as she leans forward quickly in a flash.

“I was?” You gave an incredulous look with one eyebrow raised.

“Yes! It has to do with marriage.” Her hands gesture an arch that can only remind you of the one SpongeBob imagination meme and you giggle.

“Please don’t tell me you’re marrying Serim after like 2 dates.” You half joke and half panic, it wouldn’t be unlike her to do something like that and you both know it. Eunseo takes in your expression and slaps the table loudly and laughs. If there was one thing your best friend wasn’t good at it’s being quiet, and you love her so much for it.

“I like him a lot, but no. Actually, it's about my sister. You know she’s getting married?” You nod, sipping your coffee, “Well of course I’m the maid of honor,” she lifts the back of her hands and twinkles them under her chin and you chuckle, “Someone dropped out and there is a spare seat. Yeoreum is a freak and needs it filled for everything ‘to go as planned’”

You had never met any of Eunseo’s family, they lived a few hours away and despite the effort Eunseo made to invite you to every family gathering, even Christmas, you declined not wishing to be a burden. “I want you to come. I checked your schedule and you’re free, I have a dress, I’m driving us up,” she keeps rhyming off every reason you have ever given her to bail on traveling with her, “and you owe me one.”

Furrowing your eyebrows and tilting your head you encourage her to continue, owe her for what? “Well you don’t owe me yet but I heard the best man is single, older than you, and has these gorgeous big eyes. I’ll set you both up.”

“So I owe you for something that hasn’t even happened yet? And you don’t even know if he is interested? Or single?”

“Details, details.” Eunseo’s hand waves dismissively, “Please just come. I want you to meet my family since you don’t have any of your own. Think of my family as yours.”

Eunseo doesn’t know what happened back home. You never told her you didn’t have a family but that you were just estranged from them, never disclosing details, particularly that the reason you don’t go home is your own fault, she didn’t have to know. Eunseo didn’t know anything, not about Jaeyun, nothing at all and yet she didn’t pry into your past. You were so thankful for her.

“Eunseo,” rejection is on the tip of your lips but she’s pouting, her eyes big as she does her best to look cute, and to your dismay it works, “I’d love to come.” The sun suddenly started to shine and burn your skin as its light lay on you through the window.

“Amazing!” clapping her hands rapidly she giggles, “We’re leaving tomorrow.”

Your eyes expand and she stands up not letting you protest at how soon the wedding is. “I thought she wasn’t getting married until Saturday?” You query and check your phone which reads Monday.

Walking out she explains, “Yeah but I need to be there early for final fittings, yadda yadda, boring wedding stuff. So I’m taking you with me. Either that or you drive up yourself.” The glint in her eyes as she turns to you makes your face deadpan.

“Fuck you, you know I can’t drive.” She laughs and grabs your hand.

“And I still don’t understand how you’re 23 and can’t even ride a go-kart without crashing.” Playfully you hit her arm and laughed, a memory of you and her go-karting painted your brain. After that, you never got behind another wheel.

___________

You arrive at Eunseo’s parents' house and your jaw slacks open. It’s bigger than any house you’ve ever seen. Your best friend joked a lot about being rich but you didn’t know she was rich rich. There are stairs leading to a giant white door that compliments the ash-coloured stones that surround it. Moss is growing up on each side of the home with intentionally placed pink flowers decorating throughout. Those rich bitch houses are so ugly, I want as small a house as possible so I’m always close to you no matter what room I’m in. His voice plays in your head but you shake him out.

Her parents are graciously letting you and her stay in the spare bedrooms, you don’t dare ask how many rooms are actually in this castle. Something about the air feels strangely familiar. You shrug it off and head inside with your blue suitcase and steamed dress. You curse rich people for having so many stairs.

“My baby!” Eunseo’s dad shouts from the door, “How is my sweet angel?” He greets her at the top of the stairs and hugs her tightly. You miss your dad a lot. His comforting words, his piggyback rides, his weird cinnamon body wash that made you despise the spice, you missed it all. “This must be Y/N! It only took 4 years to meet you.” His chest lets out a deep laugh as he hugs you just as tightly as his own daughter. A smile plasters on your face as you hug him with one arm, the other outstretched to protect the dress.

“Thank you for having me. It’s an honour to be part of your daughter’s big day.” Eunseo’s dad’s eyes turn to crescent moons as he smiles and steps aside to usher you into the big house.

“The party is in a few hours. The happy couple aren’t here, running last-minute chores but you’ll meet them tonight.” He turns to you and points up the stairs, “Eunseo will show you where to get changed. If you need anything, me and the wife will be hovering around.” You side-eye Eunseo quickly and she smiles widely. She didn’t tell you about a party.

Bowing slightly you thank him and follow Eunseo who is squealing, shouting about how excited she is for you to meet everyone. Sometimes you wonder if she is the relationship you’ve been seeking after Jaeyun, platonic or not, you love her all the same.

A few hours later you hear bustling from the crowd gathered down the stairs, the party in full swing as Eunseo finishes curling a wispy strand of your hair. Glancing up at her you notice how beautiful she truly is; her bangs falling effortlessly to frame her face, her lips plump and naturally pouty, she was flawless.

“If you keep staring I’ll literally take you on the bed.” She smiles and you laugh. Pouting her lips near your face she pretends to kiss you and you play into it. Life is so easy with her. “Go get changed, I need to see my masterpiece completed.” Walking away she picks up the dress and thrusts it into your chest, “You’re gonna look amazing. That babe of a best man is gonna fall at your feet. Now go.” she shoos you into the ensuite bathroom.

Staring in the mirror you analyse her work on your face and hair. Never in your life have you ever looked so beautiful and you can’t help but stare. You shed your old life behind you yet this is the first time you really felt like you were reborn. The immature you left behind, the 23-year-old staring in the mirror coming up from the ashes.

Unzipping the garment bag you see the dress Eunseo picked for you and you gasp. Its a silky deep red dress. Far too sexy for something like this.

“Um, Eunseo? This dress is…” You hold it against you and observe what it would look like on you. Hot. That’s exactly how it would look and considering this was the first time meeting a whole family of someone dear to you, you’d rather be more covered up than this.

“Shut up it’s hot. My cousins will be wearing something way sluttier so it’s all good.” Her nonchalant tone doesn’t ease you but it’s either this or the dress she got you for the actual wedding.

As you adorn the dress you notice how it fits you perfectly and hugs you in at the waist flatteringly. It’s been months since you’ve put something on this beautiful. Your cleavage is out just enough, the material stops at your mid-thighs, and you feel like a beauty queen. As you take yourself in your hand goes up to your necklace. That necklace. The gold of the sun complimented the dress perfectly. You never did bring yourself to take it off.

Opening the door you see Eunseo changed into a pastel blue dress, covering her arms and neck but cut out to leave her chest exposed just enough, a slit runs up her thigh. Your jaw is on the floor as she walks over and eyes you up and down. “Look at you! A literal goddess.” she smiles as she takes your hands. “You ready to upstage my sister at her own engagement party?”

“Eunseo…you did not pick these outfits to stand out on purpose did you?” Suddenly your heart is beating quickly and the urge to change is more than ever.

“Of course not! We’re just hotter than anyone here, including her.” She laughs and hands you the pair of gold heels you eyed up as she unpacked her bags earlier. They were exactly your style. “Take these and put them on. Literally take them off whenever but for the grand entrance you need to be complete” She used her right hand to motion over your body.

Putting the shoes on you grew about 4 inches taller and were on Eunseo’s eye level now. “Ready to rock this bitch?” You nod and she grabs your arm, dragging you down the stairs.

There are eyes on you everywhere and you can’t lie, it is a little uncomfortable considering the age range of the men staring are in their late 50s. It's a party like you’ve only seen in movies; waiters walk around with Hors D’oeurves and flutes of expensive champagne. You start to wonder how much all this cost and if you could convince someone at this party to pay off your student loan.

“Hey Eunseo?” You grab her attention as she hands you a glass of bubbly happily, “I just realised I don’t know Yeoreum’s fiance’s name.”

“Oh,” She laughs loudly and slaps your arm, “It’s Jaeyun.” Your heart stops for a moment, there are lots of Jaeyun’s in Korea. Jaeyun from TO1 could walk through that door for all you knew. “Jake is what he goes by though.” Your heart drops rapidly. There might be a lot of Jaeyuns but none that also go by Jake. Part of you wishes it was the biggest coincidence in the world but as voices fill the archway into the living room where you and your best friend reside you see Yeoreum, more beautiful than any picture Eunseo showed you could capture, and Jaeyun. Your Jaeyun.

Static is all you hear as you watch him greet guests and thank them for coming, and each footstep closer to you has your mouth going moist, ready to vomit. He hasn’t noticed you and if you had control of your body you would be bolting out the door instantly, but your mind has glued your feet to the floor. You take him, his face more defined than his previous squishy state, he’s wearing a fitted black suit blazer with no shirt underneath and matching wide-leg black trousers, and his hair is slicked back with stray pieces falling around his face. He looks expensive. He looks like the home you once knew.

You see Eunseo talking to you but as your eyes meet his, that static you once heard turns into rapid heartbeats. Your body is flushing with heat as you notice how his eyes widen for a second, his body turns to you instinctively.

“Eunseo!” Yeoreum squeals and shuffles quickly to give her sister an all-consuming hug, just like you want to do to Jaeyun right now. “Jakey come here” she beacons her fiance towards the both of you and without blinking or taking his eyes off you he walks cautiously forward. “You must be Y/N? Eunseo talks about you all the time.”

She’s lovely. Gorgeous, clearly kind, she’s perfect just like her sister and it makes you want to cry. She’s perfect for him.

Plastering a smile on your face you fake glee as you hug her lightly, stealing another glance at Jaeyun while she can’t see you. He might have gotten older but those eyes still looked the same. “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” you pull away and step back, sole focus on his bride, “Congratulations.” It's bitter and you say it quickly.

“Aw thank you!” She beams and you feel like being sick again.

“Excuse me, I’m going to go to the restroom, I’ll be right back.” You excuse yourself and rush past the couple and Eunseo leaving a gust of air behind you. Clutching your chest you run upstairs for an escape. Out of all the best friend’s sister’s fiances, how was he the one you were faced with? Pushing the guest room door open you scuttle in and take a few deep breaths reliving the moments just before.

“Y/N?” The Australian accent hits you hard as you turn around and meet his eyes. It takes only seconds before his hands have cupped your face and his body dangerously presses against yours, so close you can feel his heart, a heart that used to beat only for you.

“Baby,” he pauses as his eyes search your face trying to convince himself that you aren’t a dream, “where did you go?” Jaeyun desperately whines, his voice cracking in sadness as his forehead touches yours. There is love laced within the melancholic question. Instinctively your hands grab his wrists as you close your eyes. “Princess, please talk to me. '' He's pleading, begging for any explanation. Jaeyun’s hands go from your cheeks and trace down your shoulders, his eyes scanning every inch of your face in desperation. He doesn’t believe you’re real and in front of him, your face is more mature yet still the same girl he loves even after all these years. 4 years he’s waited for you to come back to him.

Your silence and shallow breathing urge him to ask more questions, his thumbs stroking the area between the base of your neck and collarbone. “What happened?”

“You’re engaged.” The first words out of your mouth take him aback. His mouth stays open, his hands leaving your body leaving you cold, and shivering. “She seems nice-”

“Don’t do that,” His bottom jaw slowly clenching as he speaks, “Please don’t act fine like this. Don’t make it seem like I’m the only one that’s hurting for us right now.” You sob without tears as you see him vulnerable and eyes beseeching. Jaeyun’s hands point to you before coming together in a praying motion, “I looked for you everywhere. I spent months trying to find you.” Deep down you knew he would have looked for you, but not for months, maybe for a couple of weeks before he left for Busan, but never months, “What did I do?”

Without a beat, you respond, “Nothing. You could never do anything.”

“You don’t just abandon people you love, Y/N. Not us. There had to be something I did to make you fall out of lov-”

“Jake!” You hear a familiar voice shout and your head falls down to stare at your shoes.

“Baby please,” Jaeyun wants to hold you, kiss you, understand what happened but he can’t. Not right now.

“You should go, I’ll leave in the morning-”

“Don’t leave me again, baby, please.” His voice is quiet, despair etched within his tone. His eyes fall on your necklace, the necklace that he gifted you. His eyes trail down to properly take you in and if he wasn’t astounded before by your mere presence he was now, “You look so beautiful, just like always.”

“Jake your dad is gonna make a speech-” Heeseung's voice bellows throughout the room and yet you and Jaeyun don’t take your eyes off each other. As Heeseung walks in he freezes at the sight of you. Over the years Heeseung silently forgave you, seeing his best friend move on with Yeoreum brought him some solace when he thought about what you did to Jaeyun, but now the anger that was dissipated through time is bubbling up again, “Y/N? What the fuck are you doing here?” His tone is surprised more than angry, but you can tell he’s fuming.

You don’t dare look at him.

“You should get back to your engagement party." Nothing but a whisper as it comes out. You’ve lost him as quickly as you got him back. You did this, and now you need to deal with the consequences. Brushing past him and Heeseung you make your way back to Eunseo ignoring his hand that grazed your wrist in an attempt to stop you.

His family was here, his friends, people from your past that you wanted to forget. The pressure was starting to become too much as you rushed down the stairs before colliding with someone, “I’m sorry.” You bow quickly.

“Y/N?” Mr. Sim’s voice quips in astonishment, “What are you doing here?” His head comes down so his eyes are level with yours, “What-” He has no words, looking at the girl he thought was going to marry his son.

“Mr. Sim, It’s nice to see you again” You bow but still avoid eye contact. “I’m sure you’re proud of Jaeyun.”

“Darling, we thought something awful happened to you.” The sincerity in his voice made you look up at him, heartache carved in your features “Your mum and dad haven’t stopped worrying about you.” A hand is placed on your shoulder and as you look down you see Eunseo.

“Girl there you are! You took one long bathroom break.” She laughs and bows to Mr. Sim, “Ready for your speech, Sir?” Mr. Sim looks at you inquisitively before returning Eunseo’s bow.

“I’ve been preparing this speech for years, only some minor tweaks.” His eyes find yours and you start to think maybe he’s hinting towards the speech he would have given at Jaeyun and your engagement party. “Better head.” Lips forming a tight smile he descends the stairs.

His words circle your brain. You understood your parents would worry but all of these years you never had to face it, not until your past was being pushed onto you. Eunseo takes your hand and pulls you to the dining area where people are gathered to make speeches and say their congratulations.

Jaeyun strolls in behind Heeseung, his hands in his pockets before he notices his soon-to-be wife and wraps one arm around her. Tears threaten to spill as you watch the loving action. That should have been you. You should be marrying him, taking his second name, being his everything.

A fork clinks with a wine glass as Mr. Sim starts his speech. “Thank you everyone for coming. I will make this short considering I’m sure you’re all sick of us talking, especially when there is a free bar.” the people occupying the room laugh loudly and you see Yeoreum smile up at Jaeyun. It killed you but like always you put a smile on your face, “My son, he’s always been someone to wear his heart on his sleeve, always giving one hundred percent of himself to the person he loves,” Mr. Sims eyes fall on you and you feel like the speech is somehow directed to you, “Jaeyun deserves to have someone who loves him unconditionally, without prejudice, without pride, and always with his best interest in mind. I believe he’s found that.”

Crushed. Your heart can’t take the rest of the speech as you walk out of the room and bolt for the entrance of the house. Heaving your chest to gasp for air you feel yourself clutching at your chest, if you hadn’t had a panic attack before in your life you would have thought you were having a heart attack. You breathe out harshly, gasping for air as you lean on the banister. Someone comes up behind you and places a hand on your shoulder gently.

You hear muffled words but don’t take anything in as the figure guides you to sit on the steps, their hands rubbing your arms to keep you warm.

“Breathe for me, Y/N. He He Hoo or whatever.” You follow the words and inhale two breaths sharply and exhale extendedly. “That’s it.”

Your vision starts to come into focus as you see Heeseung in front of you, his Bambi eyes soft as his thumbs rub circles into your upper arms, “Keep doing that for me, okay?” He’s always been so kind to you, that you want to cry and he notices, “Hey, look at me, Y/N. Tell me about that band you used to like way back when.” Heeseung is trying to distract you but your brain is fuzzy and tears are rolling down your face, “The one with that rapper Jaeyun was always jealous of because you had him as your lock screen?"

“Monsta X?” you breathe out and he smiles lightly.

“Yeah, tell me about them. Are they still together?” His hands leave your arms as he discards his jacket from his body and wraps it around you.

Nodding you start to answer his question, “Yeah, they’re still together.” You sniffle and feel your heart start to slow down and breathe at ease, “Most of them are in the military now.” Your lips naturally form into a pout as you think about your favourite band being separated, not being whole until 2027.

“Sucks doesn’t it? I felt the same about ONF.” He laughs and so do you, letting out a singular sob as you do so.

“I didn’t mean to come here, Hee. Her sister is my best friend.” His eyes go wide and then looks down, his hands finding their way to your knees.

“Y/N, you can’t be here. He finally moved on.” There is a pleading intertwined with sorrow in his voice and you slowly nod. “He’s happy.”

“Heeseung?” Jaeyun’s voice pierces through you, the warmth from Heeseung’s jacket becoming null as goosebumps prickle your skin. “Can I talk with her?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, man.” They’re talking like you aren’t even there and a part of this too yet your voice is too weak to speak up and share your thoughts. Tension is looming in the air as Heeseung gives the man you love a stern stare, but Jaeyun has always been stubborn when it comes to you. If he can’t talk to you now he will find a way. However, for now, at least, Jaeyun listens to his best man, and with one more glace to your fragile body he heads back to his party. It hurts him to see you like this, he wants nothing more than to swoop you up and take you in his arms like he used to all those years ago.

The party continues as you head back in making your way to the guest bedroom, giving excuses to those asking simply saying you’re tired from travelling. You miss him being yours. That was the real exhaustion.

________

The party ended a couple of hours ago, the once loud and busy foyer now dark as you tip-toe down the stairs, heedful to not wake anyone up. It’s 5 am when you awake dying of thirst and decide to leave the comfy double bed of the guest bedroom and get a glass of water. Looking around you see empty wine glasses, a few smashed ones lined up on the long table just beside the stair banister. It truly was a magnificent party and in any other circumstance, you would have had a great time. Yeoreum’s family is lovely and welcoming it’s no wonder they have so many friends, and no wonder Jaeyun fell in love with her and fit so perfectly as her soon-to-be husband.

A leak of light bleeds from the kitchen and you presume an under-unit lamp is still on but as your feet scuffle into the kitchen you see a broad back staring at you. Taking in the figure you notice their blue and yellow checked pajama bottoms and casual black t shirt evidently not intended to be worn together but clearly the first thing they could find.

A creak sounds from under you alerting them of your presence causing them to whip around. Jaeyun. One of his eyes was shut indicating he was not long up himself, his dark hair fluffy and tussled but still slightly in place due to the remnants of styling wax. He takes your breath away every time.

“Hi.” You whisper and make your way to the fridge. Heeseung was right, it wasn’t a good idea to speak to each other. When you saw Jaeyun again after all these years you thought he would be mad, scream at you to get out, seething in hate, but that was never who Jaeyun was. Instead, you felt his love shooting through you and that was the dangerous part.

“It’s late.” His eyes never leave you as he watches you pour a glass of filtered water.

“Or early.” You shrug and lean against the unit not daring to look at him. “I guess it depends on whether you went to sleep or not.” you mumble, small talk never being your thing.

Jaeyun still feels like he’s in a dream. Your presence is haunting yet he hasn’t felt more at home. Just the simplicity of you being in this kitchen is enough for him to experience contentment he hasn’t felt in years. Not since then.

“When did you get engaged?” The question punches him slap-bang in the middle of his chest, the wind escaping his body.

With his head hanging low and his middle finger tracing his coffee mug he muttered, “ A few months ago.” to which you nodded and pursed your lips. “What about you?” he questions back, “you seeing anyone?”

“No.” It’s sharp and direct but you don’t want to touch on the subject any further, you didn’t want to accidentally divulge that you couldn’t get over him, not when he was sitting afore you an engaged man. It’s embarrassing.

Jaeyun sucks in a breath and holds it as if he was going to say something but in his hesitance, you speak up again. “Eunseo, she’s my best friend.” giving the information as a way to explain why you’re here. “I didn’t know it was you getting married to Yeoreum, I promise.” Your eyes are begging for him to look at you so he can see the sincerity in your words but he never does, opting to just nod slowly. “I’ll make up an excuse to get out of here before the wedding.”

“Why did you leave, Y/N?” Jaeyun’s voice is soft but laced with hurt, “Tell me why because for 4 fucking years I still haven’t been able to figure it out.”

No words come out of your mouth, instead, you bite your lip trying to pluck up courage, suddenly the idea of him looking at you made you uncomfortable but of course, now his eyes are on you. “You owe me that much.”

“I-,” You place the glass of water down and grip the counter behind you tightly, “I…I didn’t get into any colleges that I applied for, none near Busan. Only one accepted me but it was a few hours away.” His eyebrows are crossed in confusion as he asks, “What do you mean? I thought you only applied for ones near Apollo. We had planned-”

“My grades weren’t good enough to get into any colleges in Busan.” There is a slight venom in your tone but it’s not directed at him but rather yourself. “If I had told you I wasn’t going with you, I was scared you would give up your dream school and just fuck it all off to be with me.” You finally look at him and the confusion is dispelling from his face as you continue, “You said it yourself, you would have gone anywhere if it meant being with me. I couldn’t ask you to do that. I would live with the guilt every day, watching you attend a subpar college all because of me. I loved you Jaeyun I couldn’t do that to you.”

Jaeyun doesn’t miss the past tense usage of ‘love’ but he rewinds, “So you left our relationship because…it would be long distance?”

“Jaeyun it wasn’t just that, I did think about long distance but I knew you would grow at college without me, i kept thinking about what you said. The whole slowly breaking away from each other because we become different people stuff got in my head and I couldn’t bear to slowly lose you, so I-”

“So you thought leaving me without a word was the right way to go? Y/N we could have worked it out, we would have figured out a solution.” Jaeyun stands up and walks over to you, “I didn’t mean to pressure you into moving, or applying for the same college, or fuck even making you doubt our chances at long distance.” His hand naturally caresses your cheek as you let a tear slip.

Shaking your head you look up at him, “I was stupid and I didn’t want you to worry about me, you already had so much going on between work and school. But look, you went to college and you grew up, look at what you have.” Your hands gesture upstairs to where Yeoreum sleeps peacefully unaware of what is transpiring in her parent’s kitchen.

“We could have had this Y/N. You could be the one I’m marrying if you just let me look after you like a boyfriend is supposed to if you trusted me enough.”

“I did trust you.”

“Not enough to tell me what was going on when I gave you that ring. Y/N-” He huffs out loudly and drags a hand through his hair. “That should have been your opening to talk to me about all this. I love you so much I would have made long-distance work.” His deep eyes are searching into yours. All these questions he has and you can’t answer or retaliate to any of them. “When I gave you that ring and made that promise to be yours forever I wasn’t fucking around okay? I meant it.” He lets out a dry laugh and takes your hands in his. “Baby, I love you.”

You stand too stunned to speak. Here Jaeyun was after all these years still hopelessly yours. An engaged Jaeyun was still in love with you. You want to let out a laugh of disbelief but you’re frozen. The room is silent except for the annoyingly loud hum of the refrigerator.

Jaeyun notices how your eyes fall to his lips as he licks them wet, taking the opportunity to lean forward just enough that his breath hits yours. If your lips touch you no doubt know you won’t ever let him go.

“Jaeyun…”

Footsteps are heard behind you both and you push Jaeyun away forcefully but despite the other presence making themselves known, his eyes never leave your tear-glassed ones. “Baby,” he whispers just loud enough for you to hear but you shake your head and barge past him, head down so the other person doesn’t see you. “Y/N?” Jaeyun calls out, reckless abandonment is telling him to chase after you but as he feels an arm stopping him to a halt he looks up and sees Heeseung.

“Jake, don’t.”

________

Stirring in your sleep you groan as you hear a plethora of laughing coming from downstairs causing you to take the pillow from under you and suffocate your ears with it. After last night’s tragic events you just wanted to go home. Nothing would make you happier than to catch the first bus back to your flat and rewatch every episode of Fleabag to take your mind off of everything. Jaeyun was still in love with you and selfishly you hoped he hated you after what you did, that way your heart wouldn’t leap at every word he said.

Baby, I love you

You shake the thought away and give in, sitting up and looking around the room. Eunseo is gone, probably downstairs being the reason for everyone’s laughter you think to yourself. With a huff, you pull the covers off your body and immediately feel the cold breeze causing you to shiver. You don’t know if it's a coincidence or not but as goosebumps rise on your legs and arms, Jaeyun’s laugh is heard over everyone else. You missed his laugh so much, your heart had a shot of pain pierce come on so suddenly. There was a glimmer of sun outside that made your necklace sparkle as you proceeded for the door.

It was as if your ears could only hear Jaeyun as you walked quietly down the stairs. “If it’s Yeoreum making him laugh I might kill myself.” you mutter, pulling your hair up in a pony. It’s dramatic but right now you can’t face to see them in love, it hurts. You’re hurting.

“Y/N! You’re awake!” Euneo stands up and scurries to the kitchen, grabbing a plate for you, “Mum just made breakfast.”

“Hey! I helped.” Yeoreum faked offence which Eunseo simply rolled her eyes in response. She handed you the plate before you could tell her you weren’t hungry. “Sit down, Y/N, please.” Eunseo’s mum points to the empty chair at the comically large table, you suppose she does have a large family.

Luckily for you, the seat was situated far enough away from Jaeyun that you could avoid him, unfortunately, you couldn’t avoid his eyes burning holes into the side of your face. You ignore him and scan the feast of food before you and you wonder if this is what it was like for Annie in Parent Trap when Chessy made a buffet of all her favourites. “Eat up, Y/N, there is plenty here.” Yeoreum and Eunseo’s mum says.

“Thanks, Mrs. Son.” You pick up a few hash browns and start to eat one. That’s when you become aware of the enemy of all condiments, black pepper. It was a great tool in the kitchen, adding a little flavour and spice. Not for you though, the black powdered devil always makes your tongue itch. Who the fuck puts black pepper on hash browns? You think to yourself, face scrunching and teeth running along your tongue as you pour yourself a glass of water and take a huge swig. It does nothing at all so you go to excuse yourself to get a glass of juice or anything with taste but before you can there is a glass of apple juice placed beside you. Glancing up you see Jaeyun placing the cup with a knowing look on his face.

Of course, he knew. He knew everything about you and with the face you were pulling it was one he had seen too many times at restaurants.

“Why the fuck would they season their food with this, like, isn’t that what these are for?” You grabbed a pepper shaker and started waving it in his face. You had both gotten back from a day-turned-overnight trip to the beach and stopped off at a service station in the middle of nowhere, the diner was quaint with an American feel to it, undoubtedly your favourite kind.

“Princess I think your weird tongue is the only one that would complain.” Jaeyun laughed and swapped your eggs for his bacon. “There, now there is no pepper in sight.” He also passed over his apple juice with a bright smile.

“Take this.” His deep voice pulled you back to reality. Thanking him you take the cup and chug it quietly, but everyone's eyes are on you.

“You don’t like the food, Y/N?” Mrs. Son says not offended but certainly not pleased. Waving your hand quickly you swallow the liquid and explain, “No, it's lovely Mrs Son, me and pepper just don’t go well together.”

Yeoreum looks at Jaeyun with furrowed brows but doesn’t question it. There is a massive part of him that knows he should have left you to deal with it yourself so as to not raise suspicion but his instincts kicked in. He takes Yeoreum’s hand and kisses the back of it tenderly. It stings your heart.

“So,” Mr Son claps his hands diverting the attention to him, “I thought since the whole wedding party is here we should get to know each other. We will be family once Saturday passes after all.” A groan comes softly from your right and you turn to see Heeseung with his eyes shut.

“If he makes us play charades I’m passing my best man duties to literally anyone else.” He whispers to you which causes you to snort laugh and bite your mouth shut. You miss Heeseung’s smile as he watches you. He always did love you like a sister despite everything. He knew this situation wasn’t just hurting Jaeyun and after last night he was sure you were just as heartbroken as he was.

“We’re going to have a friendly game of football!”

“Dad, I can’t get bruised before my big day!” Yeoreum exclaims, her arms wrapped around her body to protect her from an imaginary ball flying at her. Jaeyun laughs and rubs her arms, “Reumie I don’t think your dad means you guys.”

Heeseung’s hand lands on your shoulder as you watch the loving act. They did look good together you couldn’t lie about that. Their energy matched, they would make the most beautiful children to ever walk this earth, and even their sense of style was similar - casual but fashionable.

“I was going to say 5 v 5, there are enough men here right?” Mr Son starts counting around the table as Heeseung slowly slides down the chair, his eyes hidden behind this hand as he pretends to rub his forehead.

“I thought you liked football, Hee?” You whisper but he shakes his head violently.

“Used to. I have since grown a great distaste for it, especially with Yeoreum’s cousins. They’re brutal and leave me bruised.” he mutters the last few words and you laugh leaning close.

“Aw is Hee scared of a little bruise.” He doesn’t appreciate your taunting yet he smiles and rolls his eyes. “You’re almost as good as Jaeyun, you can handle yourself I mean look.” You sneakily point to one of the cousins who is on his 3rd plate of food, “He’s going to be so full he can’t move, stick by him and you’ll look like Messi or something.”

Heeseung laughs out loud, “Oh! Heeseung I almost didn’t count you.” Mr Son claps, “That makes 10!”

Heeseung’s tongue pokes the side of his face as his rage-filled eyes look right into yours. You mouth a half-hearted ‘sorry’ and hold in a giggle. “I’ll kick the ball in your face.” He warns but you’re too busy chuckling to notice.

Eunseo’s eyes meet yours with her eyebrows raised. Giving her a confused look you knit your eyebrows together to ask her what that look on her face is for but she simply smirks and looks at Heeseung. Fuck. You forgot that was her favour to you, to set you up with the dishy best man. Oh if only she knew. You and Heeseung were so out of this world impossible that you had to fight to hold in your laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Heeseung whispers and his lips graze the shell of your ear. You quickly turn around and his face is incredibly close to yours. Eunseo must be loving this.

“Eunseo promised to set me up with the hot best man. That was my bribe to get me here.” A shallow laugh leaves his throat and he sits up, hands pointed to his chest.

“I am hot to be fair.” He jokingly smirks causing you to hit his chest playfully. “What? Do you not think so?”

“I know so. It’s just how cocky you are about it all,” Heeseung’s lips part to say something but you stop him, “If you’re going to make a joke about your dick I don’t want to hear it, Hee.” he shuts his mouth instantly. You missed this just as much as you missed Jaeyun. The banter between you and your friends is what kept you from losing your mind most of your high school days, and right now it’s taking your mind off this ridiculous situation.

“Eunseo tried it on with me once,” Heeseung says while eyeing her up and giving her a wave.

“But she acted like she didn’t know you? When she brought you up it was as if she had never met you.” He scoffs as you recall the conversation in the cafe.

“I rejected her, she’s not my type. Plus, she wanted double dates all the time, and don’t get me wrong I love Jake and Yeoreum but they’re insufferable. Kinda like you and hi-” He halts himself mid-sentence and looks at you apologetically. “Sorry.” You wave it off and pretend it doesn’t hurt you to hear before he continues, “I probably shouldn’t say this but if it’s any consolation, he isn’t half as infatuated with her as he was you.” It does bring some solace but you try not to let it sit in your mind too long.

“I’m not having a great time with it but at least he’s happy.” You mumble playing with your fingers and picking at the skin. Heeseung’s big hands encase your smaller ones as he squeezes them discreetly.

“You’ll always be his first love, just remember that. And who knows,” He leans back in his chair with that smug look on his face once again, “Your next love might be the hot best man.”

Pinching the bridge of your nose you can’t help but laugh again. “Heeseung please shut up.”

While you and Heeseung were talking, none of you noticed Jaeyun staring purposefully as if his eyes could pry you two apart. He wasn’t jealous, no, he was just wishing he was with you both like old times, laughing with you as if no time had passed. Yeoreum strokes his arm lightly and looks up at him. “Jakey, you okay?” to which Jaeyun hums and turns to her, kissing her forehead lightly. “Never better, Reumie.” Lies but as his lips touch her head he remembers last night and how his lips felt like they had found their way home.

“Okay! Let’s go and get ready for a full day ahead. The game starts in an hour.” Mr Son’s voice bellowed throughout the dining area.

“Come on,” Heeseung takes your hand and leads you to the kitchen, “You’re eating something before you’re tormented by the whole aunt brigade.” Heeseung’s always been so sweet. Whoever ties him down is going to be the luckiest girl in the world.

The game had been on for 20 minutes and you can’t escape the daggers coming from Mrs. Sim across the table. Of course she’s mad, you hurt her precious baby boy, you completely understand but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable. She liked you a lot before everything went down, always treating you like her own but now it’s like her heart turned cold towards you, a contrast to her husband who seems to actually tolerate you enough to be civil. Meeting the Sim family again was beyond awkward but you were thankful none of them let on to the others about you and Jaeyun’s history.

“My Jakey is so good at football. He said he used to play in high school.” Yeoreum gushes, her hands clasped beside her cheeks as she watches her fiance on the garden lawn.

“Yeah, he was the captain in high school. Almost got a scholarship but he didn't want to do that professionally.” You say and sip at your white wine and lemonade top.

“How do you know he was captain?” The question comes from Eunseo and you nearly choke on the sweet wine. Shit

“Yes Y/N, how do you know?” Mrs. Sim quips and you want to die. You look over at the men on the field and panic trying to find any rhyme or reason you would know that information. Maybe I should put on a strip and join them, a ball to the face would be less painful.

“Oh, um, me and Jae- Jake spoke about it at the party. Getting to know him and all that.” your words are rushed and your hand reaches for the bottle to pour more wine. Admittedly, this is probably the last thing you should be doing, getting drunk and not running your mouth was never something that came easily. The party of girls nod and accept your answer. You need to be more careful. You don��t dare look at Mrs Sim with the fear of being obliterated on the spot.

“You got this, baby!” Yeoreum shouts loudly and gains the attention of Jaeyun, his smile bright as he waves, his eyes never leaving yours. You smile back and give him two thumbs up. He starts to wipe his face with the bottom of his t-shirt to gather the sweat. It gives you a peak of his lower abdomen and you feel like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time.

The mind is a powerful tool and also your greatest enemy at the moment as you recollect every time you kissed down his stomach, sometimes leaving hickeys to mark him as yours. You remember how his jaw would slack open the lower you got, the moans that would fall from his lips as your tongue trailed from his belly button to the top of his boxer waistband. When his dick was pressed against that very stomach you would trace your fingers touching everything but his cock. You swallow hard, thighs clenching together, you can’t think these thoughts but fuck it was so easy.

Jaeyun notices your face change and smirks, biting his lip and ogling at your thighs rubbing against each other just like you used to when you were turned on by him. His eyes dart to his fiances but she seems unbothered by his act. Heeseung comes up behind him and wraps an arm over his shoulder. “Dude this is rough-” he pauses and follows Jaeyun’s eyes, “What you looking at? Yeoreum? Y/N?” he whispers only your name and it makes Jaeyun sigh.

“Let’s just get back to the game yeah? Sooner we beat these old men the sooner I can have a beer.” Heeseung laughs and claps his best friend’s back.

While you're zoning out, your best friend speaks up. “Heeseung looks good, huh Y/N?” Eunseo giggles and nudges your shoulder with hers. “I thought I saw him flirting with you earlier.” You laugh and shake your head dismissively.

“Nah he was just engaging in conversation.” Everyone is looking at you waiting for you to elaborate, “Oh, it was just usual chit-chat. Weather, work, small talk stuff.”

Eunseo doesn’t buy your chatter, she’s convinced after seeing you both this morning that you two will be the next wedding she attends. “Y/N, he was all over you at the table!” Eunseo chimes and tries to recreate the scene for the other girls at the table, “He was all like touchy, and your faces were like here!” Her nose brushes yours to which you laugh it off and push her lightly, shaking your head.

“Well I think you should try to speak to him more, he seems interested.” Yeoreum says and you try not to laugh in her face.

Mrs Sim snorts and sets her wine glass down. “Yeoreum, honey, Y/N isn’t his type. He likes classy girls, loyal girls with a good sense of worth.” Ouch. It was probably deserved but shit did that prick your heart. Eunseo looks at you confused but you shrug and don’t pay attention to it.

“Heeseung isn’t my type either.” you mutter. Yeoreum leans her elbow on the table and places her face in her palm as she asks, “What is your type then, Y/N?”

Jaeyun.

“Eh, I like guys who are sweet, um, they laugh at stupid jokes,” You start to look at Jaeyun as you continue, “I like when guys are attentive and know things about you that you don’t even really know yourself because they listen to every little thing you say.”

The girls around the table are gawking at you, “Y/N? Have you ever been in love? You must have been!” One of the bridesmaids asks excitedly. You shrug your head to the side and laugh.

“Once upon a time but that was forever ago.” You slyly look at Mrs. Sim and it was astronomically the worst decision. Her face was overcome with disgust.

Ironically, it’s Yeoreum asking the question now, “Tell us about it. Wasn’t he the ‘one’”. How do you say to her that your love, the one you want to spend forever with, is hers?

“I think he was but I was an idiot, too young to understand that we should have fought through our challenges rather than me running away from them.” The honesty in your voice is raw and you’re holding down the tears. One of the bridesmaids asks, “How do you know someone is the one?”

“J-” You almost say his name but smoothly continue without anyone noticing, “You know because there is an easiness in loving someone you know you're going to spend your life with. It comes naturally like breathing. There’s no trying to impress, no hiding parts of you. You both love each other like it’s the only thing you know how to do right. Even if you're apart, when you eventually come back together you slide right back into where you left off. Your love is infinite."

Yeoreum starts to cry "That’s like me and Jake." The crowd of girls hurry to her side and hug her as she sobs, encouragements from her party saying how they are ‘meant to be’ flood your ears. While they are distracted you wipe a tear, that’s when you feel a hand hold yours. Mrs Sim has a mournful look on her face, her thumb swiping over the back of your hand now seated next to you. Its unexpected but this is a step up from the hateful glares and you’re more than thankful.

Her eyes hold a love for you just like those years ago, maybe it took you explaining your feelings for her to truly understand how sorry you were about the whole situation, opening her up to forgive you even a little bit.

Yeoreum composes herself, fanning her face with her hands as everyone proceeds back to their seats, everyone except Mrs Sim who stays by your side, forcing Eunseo to move to the opposite end. “Thanks, girls. Ugh I just love him so much.”

Don’t ask it. Don’t ask it. Your brain is screaming to ask her the question that you know would set you off, “How did you two meet?” The words fall from your lips before you can catch them with your teeth.

A smile spreads widely across her face as her whole body turns to you. This is the first time you have properly examined her features and you wish you didn’t. Easily she is one of the most beautiful girls to ever exist, her small face but big features making her look otherworldly, her body is naturally slender, her black hair is long and sleek straight, her bangs fit around her face perfectly, her eyes gleamed with life and love. She was truly perfection. “We met at Apollo! You know the college in Busan?” Her eyes twinkle and you become jealous because in the past 4 years, your eyes have become dull and empty, “He was walking to class in the East block and I just thought he was the hottest guy I had ever seen.”

Mrs. Sim delicately squeezes your hand but doesn’t spare a glance. Despite her feelings for you, she knows this isn’t easy for you and she doesn’t envy you in this situation at all. “I just walked up to him and asked him out. He was so reluctant at first, saying he was still getting over his ex,” she smiles at the memory, “and let me tell you, after that night he probably didn’t think about her again.” Yeoreum smirked as the girls squealed.

“Yeoreum, as his mother I don’t need to hear this.” Mrs. Sim scoffs, her face slightly disgusted. The bride-to-be mouthed a quick sorry and continued, “We went totally casual for a while, but you know how things escalate, he was in love with me by like the third time I met him.”

You nodded at her as she continued to tell you about her romance with the love of your life and you feel your heart slide its way into the pit of your stomach. It's nauseating how he found a love and you couldn’t even face dating anyone. But you couldn’t be mad, of course not, because you did this.

“Y/N?” You look up to see Heeseung and Jaeyun, both of them with their eyes on you purposefully. Yeoreum grabs Jaeyun’s hands yet his eyes don’t leave your face. Heeseung’s voice continues, “Can I grab you for a minute? I got a-” he pauses to think of an excuse, “I need a second pair of hands to bring out more drinks, yeah?” His eyebrow raises at you to follow along to which you nod and stand up. Noticing Eunseo’s stares you shake your head and give her a small smile.

Heeseung’s fingers interlock with yours as he leads you away into the house and suddenly you feel like you can breathe again. “Y/N you okay? You looked like you were gonna throw up.” You look up at him, his 6”0 frame towering over you.

“I’m fine, just asking questions I know I shouldn’t.” You let out a half-hearted laugh and smile sheepishly at him, “It’s okay. How was the game?” Proceeding to the kitchen you open the fridge to pick up the jug of margarita Yeoreum and Eunseo had lovingly made with way too much spirit and minimal mixers.

“I still hate you for getting me caught, but we beat them so,” He shrugs and reaches from behind you to grab a six-pack of Peroni, “Wasn’t as eventful as your time at the interrogation table. I saw them all grilling you.” You snicker and disagree.

“Nah, they were just asking about my life, the usual.” It wasn’t the full truth but it wasn’t a lie either.

Heeseung moves from behind you and leans against the kitchen island, one foot propped up on the base of the counter, swinging the beers between his legs. “How was Mrs. Sim? That must have been hard, I could feel her ice-cold stare from the other end of the garden.” He opens up the packet of 6 and hands you one, “Open this for me?” You nod and take it from him, setting the jug down to pop open the lid with the edge of the unit before giving it back to him.

“I thought I was going to die I can’t lie, but then she was okay, I think?” You question the interaction in your head, “She was nicer to me as the afternoon went on, but I think it was pity.” Heeseung brings the bottle to his lips and sips the cold beer and his eyebrows lifted.

“I don’t think It would be pity, you know she loved you more than Jake, at least that’s what he always thought." He pauses and takes a sip from his bottle before dramatically pulling it from his lips and pointing towards you, "Fuck, didn’t she have your wedding dress practically paid for?”

This was news to you and Heeseung guessed as much by the look on your face, “You didn’t know? She always went about how she had a separate savings account for you and Jake’s wedding. I think she still has it.”

You look at him quizically, “Wait, why would she still have it? Surely she would have put it to this wedding.” You search for a glass to pour the margarita into and wait for Heeseung to respond.

“Nah, they didn’t pay a penny for this. They don’t want him to marry her.”

“WHAT?!” You exclaim and turn around bug-eyed and mouth open, “What do you mean? His dad was saying all that nice stuff at the toast, and his mum looked like she was bursting with pride when Yeoreum was talking about Jake.”

There was a silence in the air as Heeseung stepped forward and grabbed your shoulders, “They like her, but babe she isn’t you. Mr. and Mrs. Sim know Jake doesn-, you know what I shouldn’t be saying anything.” You plead with him to continue, gripping his hands that are placed on you, “Hee, please, Jake doesn’t what?”

Just as Heeseung is about to divulge very useful information, Eunseo walks in with her hands up, “Ignore me, love birds, just came to get the jug of fun,” she spots it behind you and points, “Can you grab me that please?”

Stepping back, Heeseung grabs the jug and hands it to Eunseo, “We were just coming out anyway, right angel.”

Oh, you were going to murder him. His face smug and Eunseo’s mouth breaking into a large smile, you grab your glass and head out with them, Heeseung’s hands on your hips and lips to your ear, “Let me give her what she wants.” You turn around, eyes scolding him.

“Don’t even think about it, and don’t think I’ll let our little conversation go either.” As you walk and warn Heeseung, you’re already outside, a pair of usually wide, bright eyes, now thin as they watch you and his best friend joke around.

Jaeyun is seething.

#jake x reader #enhypen smut #enha smut #jake smut #jake sim ff #aj writes #this doesnt really have smut in it but whatever #i also did write like a good 1/3 of this drunk a while back so if I start to not make sense just ignore it lmao

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jaegeraether · 10 months

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Sunsets and footballers (Part 28)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (26) & Alexia Putellas x Character (3)

Masterlist (other parts here)

There were many pictures of Lucy all over the internet, but in reality, she rarely took photos of herself. Usually, they were for an Instagram update or for family, and now, morning selfies for YFN. Lucy was still smiling when she woke after her spontaneous late night phone sex with her little Australian, and it was a first for Lucy. She’d never dated anyone comfortable enough to do that. And beyond all of that, somehow Lucy had managed to orgasm by just hearing her, watching her… god, the way her excited nipples looked, the arch in her back, the stifled whimpering so Jordan wouldn’t hear. Lucy was tempted to find a late flight to Birmingham just to spend that night. She gave a teasing smile as she took a sleepy selfie from her bed, glasses on, cuddling Narla and giving a look she knew would get her girlfriend’s attention.

Lucy: Selfie to start your day. Good morning, little one x

Lucy was still a little disheartened about the airport, however the phone sex had put a little of her disappointment to bed. YFN just wasn’t ready to say it or accept it yet, and although Lucy didn’t understand it, she would try to.

As usual, Lucy picked up Ona and drove them to training. It just made sense, and it gave her some company in the Spanish city where she didn't fully speak the language.

“Do you want me to drive us this week?” Ona asked in broken English. It was still better than most of the players on the team. “Because of your knee?” She reached over and gave Lucy’s knee a little squeeze.

Lucy shied away from her touch for many reasons. One being that she didn't like being touched. Another being that she didn’t want Ona to get the wrong impression. Lucy had never liked being touched or hugged, unless it was from close friends or at specific moments. Jordan, for example. Jordan was always so affectionate with her thigh squeezes and kisses on the forehead when you did something right. She could handle that in moderation, yet she reserved her closest needs and affection for herself. That is, until she’d met YFN. For some odd reason, Lucy wanted affection from her constantly. It was a need that she was still yet to understand.

“Maybe alternating will be good.” Lucy agreed.

“Alternating?”

“Oh.. me today, you tomorrow, me, you, me…”

“Ahhh.” Ona nodded in understanding and flashed Lucy a smile. “Si, estoy de acuerdo.” Yes, I agree.

They arrived at training and were immediately surrounded by fans with cameras at the entrance. They wanted signatures and selfies, but Lucy never tended to stop on the way in, and always on the way out instead. She’d learnt early in her career to set healthy boundaries with fans. As she drove through the gate she saw someone familiar in the crowd briefly and had to double take, but lost her to the crowd. There were so many regular fans and Lucy would always try to remember the ones who kept coming back, however there were just too many.

“Lucia Roberta, why are you looking anxious?” Alexia asked in Spanish. Lucy knew enough to converse generally, and she was especially used to Alexia not wanting to speak English often.

Lucy worried at her phone, wondering why the day was finishing and she still hadn’t gotten a reply from YFN. She always replied. Was she okay? Her mind went to Kristie and the brick and the blood…

When she didn’t get a response, Alexia sat down next to Lucy. The two weren’t as close as they were with others, but they respected each other. Alexia respected Lucy for her brilliance as a player, and her discipline. Lucy respected Alexia for her skill on the field, and her leadership. Alexia didn’t tend to take bullshit, but she cared deeply. She was always straight forward but looked after her players well. They were similar in a lot of ways, really.

“Lucia?” Alexia asked again in Spanish, looking to her phone. “You’re not usually on your phone.”

“I’m worried about my girlfriend.” She said simply.

Alexia’s eyebrows rose at that. She spoke in broken English now. “Ah, I saw the photos on Instagram. She’s pretty.”

Lucy gave a little chuckle at Alexia’s nicety. “She’s beautiful. Australian.”

“You met her this trip?”

Lucy nodded. “Through Jordan. She’s… really special to me.”

Lucy put her phone down and rested her chin on her knees.

“Why are you worried?”

Lucy sighed and turned her head to look at her hazel eyed Captain who genuinely seemed to care. She didn’t usually open up to anyone, let alone la Reina. But Alexia was showing interest and so Lucy decided to open a little and tell her about Kristie, the messages, the brick.

Alexia looked disgusted. “You can’t…uh…”

“Sue? With lawyers?”

Alexia nodded.

“No.” Lucy said. “I tried that. No witnesses or camera footage. I have restraining orders being drawn up though.”

Funnily enough, Alexia understood that. She’d had a few obsessive fans in her time also, being la Reina.

“She’s not replying… and you’re worried for her?”

Lucy nodded. Alexia put a hand on her back and rubbed it gently. They both were also similar in the fact that they kept physical affection as a rarity for certain people or certain times of need.

“She makes you happy?”

“Yeah.” She admitted huskily. She felt herself getting a little emotional just thinking about her and cleared her throat. Her phone dinged.

YFN: Sorry, busy day.

Lucy knew that was a lie. She always made time for her.

Lucy: I was worried something happened to you. Are you okay?

YFN: I’m fine, Luce. Thanks though.

Lucy found herself a little confused at her messages. She didn’t sound the same.

Lucy: Why do you feel distant suddenly..?

She waited for what felt like an hour, now so invested in her phone that she almost forgot Alexia was right there.

YFN: I think I just need a little bit of space, Luce. I need to get my head together.

Lucy’s heart started pounding. What had happened between last night and now? Was work stressful? Did she realise the distance was going to be an issue? Was the idea of Lucy’s maniac fans finally scaring her away?

Lucy: Is it work? Has it been overwhelming? I can help..

Another pause. Three dots appeared and disappeared.

YFN: No. Work has been great. Exciting. I just need a little space.

Not work. Something worse then. Lucy felt her heart breaking and she was starting to get emotional. She immediately tried to call her. YFN rejected the call.

Alexia must have understood something was happening because she stood, rubbing her back again before Captain Alexia reappeared.

“Remember to go and see the fans when you’re free, Lucia.” She said before she left. It was public training day, and the fans were all lined up in the stands, hugging the barriers begging for autographs and photos. Lucy almost didn’t hear her. Almost.

YFN: Lucy please.

Lucy’s heart broke. Why wasn’t she talking to her? She knew a lot about YFN’s past, but not everything. She understood it was all new to her, and she worried that it was all becoming a little too overwhelming for her.

Lucy: Don’t do this please. We need to go through things together. I know you’re not used to that, but I can help.

Lucy waited another five minutes, chin on her knees and thinking when suddenly she started receiving screenshot after screenshot of messages YFN had been sent. All pictures and videos of Lucy and Ona at the World Cup, during games, during training, outside of football. She gasped. She knew how it looked. Before YFN, Ona had been there for her at the World Cup. She was so grateful to Lucy for getting her from United to Barca, and letting her stay with her for a little while. It wasn’t news to anyone who knew Ona that she was extra affectionate. She loved touches and hugs and kisses, it was just her. And to make matters worse, Lucy had known Ona had liked her for some time. She flirted back sometimes, but that had all been before she’d met YFN. Of course, she had never let it go beyond that as there was eight years and a significant amount of maturity difference, but the attention had been nice after Keira, she was ashamed to admit. Fuck.

YFN: I need space. Please.

YFN: I’ll get my emotions together and then we can talk.

She felt so helpless. Her little Australian having these sent to her all day long. Now everything made sense. If Lucy had been in the same situation, she’d also be unsure and needing time to think.

She fought with herself for a little while trying to decide if she should reply, thinking it may make her look guilty if she didn’t. But she wasn't guilty. And so she didn’t reply just then, not wanting to push YFN away, and respecting her space. She would message her later.

Lucy wiped a tear away as Ona approached. She internally groaned. Perfect.

“Are you okay??” She asked, visibly worried and reaching down to stroke her arm.

Lucy nodded and rolled away from her, standing.

“I’m fine. Just going to the fans.”

Ona followed her to the boundaries where the fans were. She threw her phone on the ground near the fans and worked up the boundary line, taking selfies and signing autographs as per usual, just trying to stay out of reach of Ona. She didn’t want any more photos of them together being taken and misinterpreted before she could talk to YFN. As she was thinking about that, she paused, wondering if one of the fans was the one sending the photos. She gritted her teeth and finishing her signings before she took a wide berth around the Spaniard as she went to pick up her phone from where she threw it, but it was gone. She looked around for a few minutes before she gave up, assuming the security guard had taken it.

Great, just what I need, she thought. Lucy wasn’t worried about the money though, just that she needed to be able to call and text YFN when she was ready. She knew she could do that from her iPad and MacBook at home, and so she caught Ona’s attention and gestured towards the car park.

Ona looked a little unsure as Lucy dropped her off, having picked up on Lucy’s now distant and distracted mood. The car ride was mostly silent beyond some niceties, and the farewell was the same.

“I pick you up tomorrow?” Ona said from outside of the car before she closed the door.

Lucy shook her head. “I have somewhere to be in the morning, so I’ll meet you there.”

Ona looked a little upset but she didn’t push it and nodded, closing the door. Lucy was gone almost immediately after that, getting to her apartment without delay. She found her MacBook first, opening it. No messages from YFN. How long should she wait? Would it be too much for her to message tonight, just hours after she said she needed space? Should she message Jordan? They must have spoken about it.

Lucy thought on it a little longer before she threw her MacBook away and charged her iPad for the next day. She looked down at Narla who was wanting attention which pulled a smile out of her.

“Are you texting on an iPad?” Keira teased.

“Lost my phone.” She replied, fully aware of how ridiculous she looked as she texted Jordan and YFN yet again on her iPad.

“Security?”

“Doesn't have it.”

“Well at least you don’t have it up to your ear for a phone call.” She laughed.

“Done that a few times too. You must have missed it.”

Keira squatted down next to her. They were still close, but Lucy had shut her out of that very close part of her.

“You’ve not been yourself, Luce. She’s still not replying?” Lucy knew she genuinely cared. Keira would always care about her, and she her.

“No. And Jordan isn’t saying much.” She sighed, throwing her iPad to the ground and looking at Keira. “Have I been that bad?”

“Well you are usually happy and smiley ninety-nine percent of the time, so when you’re distracted and grumpy, people can tell.”

Great. Another stress to add. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. It’s okay, everybody has their off days. You tend to have less than most so I think the girls are mainly just worried about you.”

“I’ll be okay.” There’s that closeness boundary.

Keira looked like she didn’t believe her. “I’m always right here if you need me. And if it makes you feel any better, Alexia is holding the spotlight rather than you. She’s been a lot grumpier than you the past week or so.”

Lucy raised her head. She hadn’t noticed. She’d been so focussed on her own thing. “Oh? What happened?”

“I’m not too sure, most of them have been talking in Spanish but I think it’s about a girl?”

“Not just any girl!” Patri said as she was walking past. She knelt down with a grin. “Alexia has a crush. Big one. She’s been dragging us to a club just to see her.”

“So why is she so grumpy?”

“She disappeared for five months and then reappeared last weekend like everything was okay. Apparently she flirted with Alexia. Now she’s pissed at herself.”

Lucy looked over at Alexia who was smashing the shit out of a punching bag. No one really ever used that punching bag except Lucy, especially not Alexia. And she seemed so… annoyed. How had she been so caught up in her own world that she hadn’t noticed? Alexia had even tried to see if she was okay yesterday, when she herself wasn’t.

“Oh… wow.”

“No one has really been keen to try and talk to her. Mapi got the closest.” Keira said. “We thought she must have said something to you yesterday?”

Lucy shook her head. “No, she was just making sure I was okay.” Typical Alexia, so caring of other people.

“Sunday sure is going to be a fun game with you two so mad.” Patri said cheekily.

Lucy ignored that statement. “I’m going to try and talk to her.”

Lucy grabbed the iPad and stood, walking over to her Captain as the two gave her a nervous good luck. When she got there, she dropped her iPad to the floor and took hold of the punching bag to hold it steady. Alexia caught her eye, her eyebrows were furrowed in obvious annoyance but not at Lucy. She was like that before she arrived. Lucy didn’t say anything, she just held the bag steady as Alexia punched the hell out of it. When she was tired they switched. They didn’t need words. They needed some release.

Their knuckles were sore before their cardio gave out, and so they wordlessly changed to gloves and mitts. Alternating. Lucy had taken up boxing regularly so she guided Alexia through the motions. After a while it was dark, the other girls had gone home, and the two footballers eventually gave in and sat down in a pile of sweat and steam.

“Are you okay?” Alexia eventually asked in Spanish.

Lucy shrugged. She wasn’t and replied in Spanish. “Are you?”

“No.”

“Want to tell me why?”

Alexia sighed. “Did Patri not tell you?”

“Yes, but I was being polite.”

Alexia rolled her eyes and switched to English. “She thinks she can just show up after five months…”

“Have you spoken to her before?”

“A little here and there.”

“So she doesn’t realise that you like her like that? And you’re mad at her?”

Alexia groaned and Lucy had never seen her so frustrated.

“Oh… you’re not mad at her. You’re mad at yourself.”

Alexia put her head in her hands. “She frustrates me.”

“So go and tell her how you feel?”

“Not simple like that. She’s… popular.”

Lucy actually laughed. “Do you forget who you are, la Reina?”

“No I mean… she sleeps with many people.” Alexia’s broken English was always funny for Lucy, though she wasn’t about to tease her on it right now.

“Ah. But maybe you’re the one to end that.” Lucy said cheekily. “Go and see her.”

“I have been back few times this week.. she wasn’t there.”

“Ah.. you feel like she’s making you chase her?”

“Un poco.”

“So… you’re just going to keep being annoyed and scaring your team?”

Alexia looked up a little surprised at that honesty. And then a little upset. She sighed. “I will play Sunday and go back to the bar on the next weekend to talk to her.”

“I think that’s a great decision, capitana. You can use the game Sunday to get a little grumpiness out. I know I will.”

“Si… si. How is that going?”

“Oh so you assume someone told me about your situation, but you don’t think I know someone definitely told you about mine?”

Alexia gave a cheeky smile before it fell. “I’m sorry. People can be so mean. I noticed you stayed away from Ona today. I think it upset her a little..”

“She’ll be fine.”

Alexia nodded. She could be hard like Lucy. “Si. Has she messaged you?”

Lucy reached over and grabbed her iPad. Alexia raised an eyebrow at it but didn’t say anything.

Still no reply from YFN. She groaned out loud and Alexia nodded, knowing she hadn’t. Then a notification caught her attention. They were Instagram posts of Leah and YFN at an event. Her jaw dropped at the sight of her. Her body in that dress. Her beautiful sun-kissed hair done up like that. That little dimply smile. She was happy to see the stitches had been removed, zooming in to see the scar she was left with. Oh, little one. She zoomed back out and noticed Leah then, dressed in a suit and looking great, as usual. Though Lucy felt a twinge of jealously when she saw her hand lightly touching YFN’s back as they took their pictures on the carpet together. Her bare back, as it was backless. She looked at the way her body moved and the beauty of her spine, feeling again jealous but this time because the world could see those little back dimples. Lucy felt like she was in the wrong place. Like she should be standing there next to her, holding her close and making sure she was safe and comfortable and warm.

A few more photos came up then of Leah and YFN sipping champagne and laughing together, lightly touching in some photos. The last one was of YFN standing, gripping Leah’s jacket tight around her as Leah had a hand on her back, presumably making sure she was warm. Lucy’s jaw almost broke from how tight it was locked. She thought she’d managed to control it until she read the caption.

‘Leah Williamson and partner.’

Two things happened almost simultaneously then. First, a snapping sound. Then the pain of glass shards in her left hand.

Lucy and Alexia both stared silently at the iPad snapped in half between Lucy’s hands.

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clarisse0o · 2 months

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Camp Wiegman-Part 12

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Word : 6k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Tuesday, November 3; 6:15 AM - Ona and Alexia's room.

I stand straight as a rod beside my bed. Bronze has just entered. I’m glad I haven’t lost my morning routine. I didn’t face any difficulty except that waking up was hard and abrupt due to the alarm. Luckily, my day of rest yesterday helped me recover and find motivation again. The disagreement with Bronze was quickly forgotten. I woke up alone. She had let me sleep while she went back to work. I found out when she returned just before noon to have lunch with Engen and me. She wanted us to eat before the midday bell. At least she spared me the rush hour. After that, she allowed me to stay in her room for the rest of the day as long as I didn't venture out. I promised it wasn’t my intention. I once risked it, and it didn’t end well for me. I just wanted to keep busy with movies, which I did until dinner time. I had to stop to eat with the two instructors, as agreed with Bronze. It was hard to change her mind. I was disappointed to end the day by returning to my room. I enjoyed hiding in her room. It had become my den, isolating me from the world. Needless to say, I was worried about reintegrating with the students. Bronze accompanied me to discreetly help me bring back my things. All it took was stepping into my room for any unease to vanish, thanks to Alexia. She welcomed me like a little whirlwind, not wanting to let go. It seems she eagerly awaited my return. Bronze had kept her updated regularly, but it didn’t stop her from worrying and missing me. Today, I return to the real world. Classes resume at eight. I have a knot in my stomach just thinking about it. I still don’t feel ready to return, but I have no choice. I show no signs of distress and patiently wait for Bronze to finish her inspection. It’s almost strange seeing her so impassive and expressionless again. It wasn’t like that in her room.

You can go.

Alexia doesn’t hesitate to head to the exit. I follow, but Bronze stops me by holding my arm. I turn to face her.

How are you feeling?

Better... No more fever, no nausea. I don't have much muscle pain either... I replied.

So, are you ready?

Uh-huh. I don't have a choice anyway.

Good.

I look at her attentively, squinting slightly. She’s not like usual. I don’t know what’s different, but something seems off. There’s only one way to find out...

So, how’s my work after a week? Is it done properly, Commander? I teased.

The princess finally follows the rules; that’s good, she retorts without a hint of humor.

I frown. That’s not the response I expected. I thought she’d play along. I examine her more closely. Now that I pay attention, her eyes seem swollen. And she has visible dark circles.

Are you okay?

We recently had a discussion about friendship, Batlle. It didn’t end well, so stop trying to be friendly and go eat, she orders.

She’s clearly not herself. It’s been a long time since she called me by my last name. And for such a small matter. It’s not like I asked a personal question. She’s not well, and I can’t do anything about it. I let her go, feeling powerless. I stare at the door for a moment, completely frustrated. She just brushed me off.

Ona, you coming?

I pull myself together at my roommate's call. I expected her to be gone already. Well, whatever. Bronze is right after all. She’s not my friend. It’s not my place to worry about her, even though I do and would have liked to be there for her.

Yeah, sorry. I'm coming, I say, returning her smile.

Our relationship has evolved since she learned I’m a former junkie. I feel I can trust her. I’ve grown attached to her. She seems to feel the same. She keeps saying we need to make up for the lost time of this past week.

What did Bronze want? she asks.

Just checking if everything’s okay, I shrug. She’s just doing her job.

I see.

She smiles at me in a way I can’t quite describe. I don’t dwell on it. I’m eager to get to the cafeteria. I’ll see the others, and my appetite is back. This will be my first breakfast after a long week of abstaining. I intend to savor it. When we reach the table, everyone is happy to see me. They ask if I’m feeling better. It seems no one knows about my withdrawal except Alexia and Leah. Wiegman and the four educators in charge must have covered it up as a flu absence. At least I’m spared the cliché stories about my past and pitying looks. Everything goes well this new morning. I just have a lot of questions about Bronze, who completely ignored me when she passed our table. I hope it’s not my fault. I don’t see what I did wrong, except for that conversation the other night. She didn’t seem resentful yesterday. Amidst all this, time flies. It’s almost time to return to class. We walk through the hallways to our first lesson.

I’ll join you, I tell Alexia. I need to use the restroom.

As you wish, but hurry up. It’s almost time.

Yeah, I’ll be quick.

I leave her to enter the nearest restroom. I need to gather my thoughts for the start of this morning. I first use a stall, then wash my hands. I take the opportunity to splash water on my face. Why am I in such a state over something so minor? I feel weird, like I have a bad premonition. Damn responsible person. She annoys me by making me question so much. I hit the counter in frustration. I wipe my face and leave the restroom. I sigh, seeing the empty hallways. Great, now I’m late. Perfect for a return. I walk slowly and heavily toward my classroom. A few minutes won’t make a difference since I know I won’t be allowed in anyway. When I reach the door, I knock. It opens shortly after.

Miss Batlle makes her grand return and in style, the teacher remarks right away. You start well after more than a week of absence.

Sorry for being late.

Save your pretty words and go to the instructors’ office, will you?

Of course. I know the way! I retorted sarcastically.

What did I say? I wouldn’t be accepted. I reverse course to the office of Bronze and Engen, which I know very well. I had to do archiving with Bronze there on my first day before moving boxes upstairs. I knock on the already open door to announce my presence. It’s a large space where two desks face each other. There are several filing cabinets. Nothing exceptional. There are more than one such room on the first floor. Six to be exact. One for each instructor pair. Naturally, I’m assigned to my responsible person’s. I enter the room, and Engen looks up to greet me. She’s alone, which is strange. Bronze should be here.

Batlle, she calls, surprised. Already on the first day? What brings you here this time?

Late, I grumble, sitting on the chair in front of her desk.

Late? I saw you in the halls earlier. Did I allow you to sit?

Urgent need, I half-lied. I’m not standing until Bronze arrives. Especially since I just got back.

Bronze won’t be here today. I’ll handle you for the day.

What? I blurted out in surprise.

Is that a problem?

Now this is the last straw! She raises her head from her paper, arching an eyebrow. She’s not the problem. It’s Bronze’s absence. It’s a first! She’s never missed a day since I arrived.

Okay, what’s wrong with her? Is it me?

Excuse me? she frowns. What are you talking about?

Why is she absent?

She’s entitled to a day off, isn’t she? Especially after the week she had because of you. And why am I even telling you this? It’s none of your business.

I noticed she wasn’t well this morning...

I lower my head, feeling uneasy under Engen’s scrutiny. I have regrets and don’t even know why. Maybe I spoke too much when I hear her chuckle. I must look ridiculous. I bury my head in my collar, not daring to look at her.

I don’t know which of you two worries more about the other, she murmurs.

What?

Did I hear right? Bronze worries about me? Why would she? She was asking me to keep my distance this morning... So, she talks about me to Engen. This thought warms my heart.

It has nothing to do with you, Batlle. She just has a day off to rest from her week, she explains. Anyway, that’s the end of it. How many hours are you missing due to your refusal?

Two.

Well... she murmurs, thinking. Since she’s absent and she fell behind because of you... You have two hours to sort and alphabetize Bronze’s files, she says, pointing to my responsible person’s desk.

Bronze is more original with punishments.

Stop arguing, Batlle, and get to work.

Just as friendly as Bronze... I sigh and change places, settling into my manager's office chair. Engen looks at me strangely before a sly smile stretches across her lips. She doesn't ask me to move, surprisingly. She continues her work while I focus on the task she assigned me. I don't even know where to start given the number of files scattered on the desk. I don't ask for help and try to do my work without flinching. This place is literally changing me. Just a few days ago, I would never have accepted a punishment without complaining.

Tuesday, November 3; 6:45 PM - Cafeteria

I sit down at my seat, placing my tray on the table. My first instinct is to look at Bronze's table on the educators' side. She wasn't there all day. I know because I was late again this afternoon. Engen had to take care of me. I like her a lot, but Bronze is irreplaceable when it comes to creative punishments. I straighten up in my chair when I finally see her. She's there, at her table, with Engen! We are directly across from each other. It feels like our spots were meant to be. She talks to her colleague without acknowledging me. I hope Engen doesn't say anything. She noticed my remorse because she assured me all day that I had nothing to worry about. I let go, realizing I won't get any sign from her, and try to follow the conversation happening around the table.

"Seriously, it's you?" says Alba.

"You're really in trouble, girl ! They're looking for the culprit, and it looks bad according to the rumors!" adds Lotte.

"I don't care at all," says the one in question, who is none other than Leah.

"What did you do this time?" I ask, getting to the point.

"Oh, nothing very interesting. I just tagged the sign and the walls of the establishment."

"What!?"

"It's not just laps around the field you'll get this time," laughs Alexia. "What are you playing at, seriously? Are you trying to compete with Ona for the number of punishments or what?"

Without thinking, I stand up from my chair under the incomprehensible eyes of my friends. It's my only chance. Too bad if I regret it later. Hopefully, I won't feel bad in the meantime. I walk to the educators' area. I find myself between the two instructors and stare directly into Bronze's eyes. I know Engen is also looking at me, but she's not the one I'm interested in.

"It was me," I blurt out into the void.

"It was you what, Batlle?" Engen intervenes.

"The tags. I did them."

"What the—"

Bronze raised her hand to signal her colleague to be quiet. For the first time since this morning, her eyes land on me. Her green irises pierce through me, giving me goosebumps.

"Really?" she finally asks. "I leave you alone for one day, and you manage to do something like this? Why come forward only now?"

"To take responsibility for my actions. It would be stupid for someone else to face the consequences in my place," I respond confidently.

She looks me up and down. I really don't know if I made the right choice by accusing myself without reason. One thing is certain: it was the only way to get her attention.

"Very well. Go clear your tray," she orders. "I'll deal with you tonight, no matter what state you're in. And you won't even be able to complain tomorrow morning when you wake up."

I manage a smile. My plan worked! My God, it worked! I nod and backtrack to my table. I almost trot with impatience. I'm met with confused looks from everyone at the table.

"What just happened?" asks Alba.

"I pleaded Leah's case by accusing myself."

"What?!" Leah reacts. "But why did you do that? Besides, you're not even really in a state to—"

"Don't worry about it," I cut her off. "Be glad you won't get punished!"

I reassure her ass he knows about my situation regarding the withdrawal. I feel good for a first day, so it should be fine. I think I'm the only person who is eager to get a punishment from Commander Bronze.

"Later, guys."

I go to clear my tray where Bronze is already waiting at the end of the line. I feel her eyes on me the whole time; it's unsettling. Once I'm done, she turns her back to head towards the exit. I follow her without thinking. I take advantage of the silence to observe her. I'm glad to see she has regained her color since this morning. We pass by my room where she orders me to put on sportswear. The commander is back, and I'm almost happy about it. I hurry to change, and we head to the gym. I bite my lip to avoid complaining. I asked for this. It will help me get my muscles working again after lying in bed for a week. Leah will really owe me one for taking the blame for her! We wander through the corridors of the establishment, which are almost unfamiliar to me. I haven't had many sports classes as Bronze often punished me at the same time. We stop in front of a large door that she opens. She pushes me to discover the room. I take a step back, not seeing anything in the darkness. She prevents me from fleeing with an arm around my back and pushes me inside. I'm quickly trapped with her in the room. She turns on the lights to reveal the setting, leaving me speechless. My God, tell me I'm dreaming. We are in the climbing room. What is her goal? I turn to gauge my instructor. She smiles with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. We're starting with this, and then we'll see."

Oh my God... I feel dizzy. I hate climbing. I look at the top. It's really high. There must be at least ten meters of height there!

"What do I have to do?" I ask to be sure.

"It's obvious, Ona. You're going to climb up there," she says, pointing to the top of the wall.

"Are you kidding me?!"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" she retorts. "Stop talking to complain, or I'll have worse in store for you later! You'll do the one at the back. I'll belay you."

"Belay me?"

"Yes, I'll hold you with a rope. I could very well let you climb alone, so be glad."

"Bronze... I can't... I'm afraid of heights," I admit.

"Not my problem," she says indifferently. "You should have thought about that before. Here, take this."

My throat tightens when she hands me a harness. She really has no pity. I imitate her and reluctantly put on the harness. We move to the back of the room to reach the last route. Damn... What mess have I gotten myself into this time? I'll never make it. I'm really afraid of heights and not just a little! Just being on a chair already scares me. I inspect the wall in front of me, covered in numerous holds. Just imagining myself up there makes me dizzy. I look to my left to see an insurmountable wall named Bronze.

"Sorry, but I really can't..."

"It's not negotiable, you should know that. Just don't look down and trust me. Come here."

She ties the loop of my harness with the route's rope. She does it with such ease. I can no longer escape. She gives it a sharp tug to check the knot's solidity. I'm starting to panic. Bronze seems so comfortable with any sport, but that's not my case. She finally takes the other end of the rope to attach it to a metal loop she ties to her harness.

"There, we're ready. You can start. I gave you the easiest route. The holds are big and easy to reach. »

I sigh as I face the climbing wall. The last time I climbed was back in high school, and I was far from being any good. I start to climb, using one handhold, then two, then three... and I'm already stuck. I'm less than a meter off the ground, and I don’t know where to put my foot next.

"To the right, Batlle," she directs me.

"That's way too far!"

"Of course not. Use your legs to climb, not just your hands. You’ll never make it otherwise."

"What kind of punishment is this, seriously?" I snap.

"Alright, enough complaining. Climb that damn wall now. We’re not leaving until you reach the top."

And I know she's serious. Bronze likes things to be finished. Especially punishments. There’s never been one that I’ve abandoned halfway. I place my foot on the hold she indicated and muster all my remaining strength.

"See, you can do it when you try."

I continue climbing higher and higher. I had to stop several times after making the mistake of looking down. Bronze had to reassure me and encourage me to keep going. I have no idea what time it is, but it’s definitely late. I struggle to grasp another hold, and finally, I reach the top! I let out a proud yell, which makes Bronze laugh. It’s the first time I’ve succeeded, and it’s all thanks to her. She made sure I didn’t give up. I sigh in relief.

"Can you lower me down now?"

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no'!?"

I wish I could see her face, just to know if she’s joking. Her voice doesn’t sound like she’s joking. Unfortunately, I can't verify it. I cling to the wall, trying not to let go.

"No. I’m not letting you down. Not yet."

"This isn’t funny! I’m really scared and can hardly hold on. Everything hurts!"

"I’ve got you. You’ll stay up there until you explain why you took the blame for something you didn’t do."

"Excuse me!? What makes you think that? I did it!"

"Those tags were done Sunday night, Ona. Last I checked, we spent the evening together. Besides, the drawings look like they were done by a kindergartener. It would be a disgrace for someone who practices art as a hobby. To top it off, we already found out who the culprit was just before dinner."

Damn it! She got me like a rookie. Here I am, stuck against this wall like an idiot. She brings me back to reality.

"So, Ona. Don’t mess with me and tell me the truth!"

I’m literally backed into a corner. I close my eyes and rest my head against the wall. I have no choice, I have to talk. My limbs are giving out, and my head is spinning. I’m trembling all over. I’ll lose my grip soon.

"I wanted to get your attention..."

"Get my attention?" she repeats, surprised. "Why?"

"You ignored me all day, and I noticed you weren’t doing well this morning... I was afraid it was because of me, even though Engen assured me otherwise."

"You can’t be serious, Ona? You got yourself accused of something so serious just to get to me!?"

"It seemed to be working until now..."

"You’re such an idiot!" she says bitterly. "But you’re brave, I’ll give you that. Alright, let go of the holds. I’ll lower you down."

"I can’t."

"Don’t be ridiculous. Let go!"

"I’m scared!"

She sighs as I cling tighter to the wall. I can’t help it; it’s stronger than me.

"Ona, there’s a reason I made you climb up there."

"Oh really?" I sneer bitterly.

"It’s a trust exercise. I need you to trust me, not just in climbing."

"Stupid exercise!"

I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I’m holding back tears that are welling up in my eyes.

"Ona, please, I won’t let you fall, I promise."

My trembling won’t stop. It’s an awful feeling. I close my eyes to fight against myself. I know I can trust her. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. I take a deep breath before letting go without thinking. I squeak as I swing back and forth, hitting the wall. She stabilizes me before slowly lowering me down. I force myself to open my eyes to see myself floating in the air. My heart is pounding with fear, but it’s not so bad after all. I’m relieved once my feet touch the ground. I collapse against the wall, trying to regain my composure. Bronze smiles at me and crouches down to untie my knot. She really got me this time. She knew it wasn’t me. She just wanted to corner me to make me talk. She surprises me by placing her hand on my forehead to check my temperature.

"You haven’t had any more episodes?"

"No, it was fine today..." I murmur.

"Hmm. Engen told me that you were late. Was that also to get my attention?" she teases.

"The first one wasn’t. Well... not intentionally. The second was to check if you were absent for the day."

She raises an eyebrow before bursting into laughter. It’s a genuine, pleasant laugh. She shakes her head before leaning against the other wall. It’s true it would’ve been smarter to choose the other wall. The climbing wall’s features hurt my back, but I’m too exhausted to move now. I watch her pull her legs up and wrap her arms around them. It’s a very childlike position for her. I savor the silence that follows. I realize I missed her presence today. It doesn’t stop me from feeling stupid for confessing my obsession with her. I watch her stare at an invisible point in front of her, looking completely absent. Several minutes pass before she speaks again.

« Why?"

« What do you mean, « why »? »

« Why did you want to get my attention? » she repeats, finally looking at me intently. « It’s really confusing. Just a week ago, you hated me. »

I lower my head, thinking. She's right. It is confusing given everything I’ve said to her. I don’t even know when my feelings changed. I nervously play with my fingers. Admitting my true feelings would reveal too much. I sigh as I look at the ceiling.

« You’re the only one who cares about me here. Well, no. You’re actually the only one who’s cared about me for years, I correct myself. I appreciate the attention you give me, even if it’s sometimes annoying to have you on my back. I’m sorry for getting so worked up the other night. I felt like everything I thought was wrong and was afraid you’d become cold again like in the beginning . »

« What exactly were you thinking? »

"Well... I thought you were only helping me because you were ordered to. That you were doing it professionally and not because you liked me. »

« Of course, I’m doing it professionally, but not just that, Ona. By accepting Wiegman’s offer, I volunteered to supervise you and enforce the rules. That’s all. The rest is from me. »

I feel remorse now. I lower my head to hide my embarrassment. I’ve been making a fuss over something that doesn’t exist. I suddenly feel really foolish.

« If I really didn’t care about you, I would have let them send you to a rehab center like Wiegman and your mother planned, she adds. I dissuaded them because I trusted you, and I was right to. »

« Thank you…"

« I’m not doing much. »

« Yes, more than you think. »

« Like what, for example? »

« You’re the only one who can stand up to me. You punish me without mercy and manage to make me comply with orders I would never have followed before... You’re also the only one who pushes me to succeed in what I undertake. You show that you trust me, and that reassures me », I conclude.

I’m a real idiot. She wants the best for me, and I keep digging myself deeper. I watch her as she remains silent. She seems lost in thought.

« You have a very contradictory personality, you know? »

« What do you mean? »

« You act like a tough girl who doesn’t care about anything and is afraid of nothing, but after spending time with you... I’ve discovered that you have a serious lack of self-confidence. My punishments have chipped away at your armor. »

I don’t respond. There’s nothing to say since she hit the nail on the head. Bronze is very observant. She just figured out that side of me without me wanting her to. I bite my lip.

« I wanted to thank you for what you did for me this week. »

« It’s normal. »

« I must admit it really pissed me off to see you so down this morning. You don’t hesitate to help me when I have issues, and I can’t even do anything for you. I thought about it so much that I went over every situation from last week, fearing I had done something wrong. »

I need to get this off my chest so she knows how I feel. I felt bad for her. I’m aware that our relationship is evolving, but I hope our attitudes won’t change. I really enjoy annoying her. It’s become my favorite pastime here. It’s fun, and I love that she takes care of me... Even if the punishments aren’t always great.

« I got dumped last night. »

I look at her in disbelief. I don’t know what surprises me more: the fact that she’s confiding something very personal or that she broke the rules. I had already asked her questions about herself, and she had kindly brushed me off.

« The commander dares to break rules? » I reply with humor. « And seriously, did someone actually want you?! »

« Of course they did! » she huffs, hitting me on the shoulder.

« Sorry, »I chuckled. « It was too tempting! »

I managed to get a small laugh out of her. She rests her head against the wall and closes her eyes. She really seems affected. I should have noticed this morning.

« He’s just an idiot. He doesn’t know what he’s missing. »

« Oh really?" she chuckles, looking at me.

« Absolutely. Even though you’re a super annoying commander... I imagine that outside these walls, you must be a nice person. I got a little glimpse of that this week. »

« I’ll remember those words. »

« Hey! That’s out of the question! I’m trying to cheer you up here! »

I managed to get her to laugh a little more. It’s nice to hear, and it reassures me at the same time.

« You say that, but you don’t even know what happened. For all you know, I could be the worst bitch. »

« Is that so?"

« I don’t think so. Only with you when you annoy me. »

« That’s mean. »

« Realistic. »

I smile at her response. I love having these casual, spontaneous conversations with her. I know it’s short-lived, so I’m enjoying it. As soon as we leave this room, I’ll have to deal with the commander again. She’s too obsessed with the rules to be any different.

« How long were you clean before last weekend? »

I sit up at this question. It seems like we’re in a moment of trust. I turn to face her and let my head rest against the wall. Her eyes are looking at me intently, very interested in my forthcoming answer. She’s taking a risk by asking me to open up... I sigh and play with a strand of my hair.

« I left the rehab center on September 18. One year after I entered. »

« Just a week before you came here? » she’s surprised.

« I guess my mother preferred to send me to this hole at the other end of the country rather than risk seeing me relapse, » I chuckle bitterly.

« I’m glad she did »

« Really? » I frown. « I could have done without a military school. Just like the rehab, actually. It was really my worst experience. »

« Drugs are just a never-ending spiral once you taste them. I hope you won’t fall back into it. »

« It was just a rough patch, that’s all…"

I murmur this as I pull my knees to my chest. I’m very thoughtful about everything I’ve been through.

« «You complain about school, but if she hadn’t sent you here, I wouldn’t have met this cheeky kid you are. »

« That’s true, » I say with a shy smile. « You’re right. »

We enjoy the calming silence after all these emotions. It’s been a long time since I confided in anyone other than Mapi. She didn’t even have to drag it out of me. Mapi got the full story. She won, as she’s now the only one who knows everything. It’s no wonder she’s my best friend. She’s the only one I trust implicitly. I know she’ll never let me go, or she would have done so already.

« Still, I know about your love life before your first name. »

« In your dreams, I’m not telling you ».

« Why? You’ve already broken many rules tonight. One more or less…"

« You’ll find out sooner or later, but not tonight. You already know more than you should. »

I give up to keep the good mood going. I’m curious to know, but it will have to wait. I’ve tried to find out, but no one knows. It feels like a golden rule, but it seems ridiculous.

« If you don’t tell me, then tell me why such a beautiful girl is still single? »

« I don’t think t— »

« Oh come on », I interrupt. « You can talk about it to someone. And besides, who am I going to tell? I have no friends here. »

« No friends? What about the Putellas sisters or Leah and others? » she lists.

« Well, alright... I might have friends... Actually, I didn’t really want any attachments... I hate relationships; they always end up causing pain. Except Alexia didn’t get that memo... She can be very endearing. »

« We’re not so different after all, » she murmurs.

« Why do you say that? »

« I’ve been criticized for not being present enough and not investing enough in my relationships, she confesses. That weekend I couldn’t come home was the last straw. I’m not good with attachments either. I’m actually more of a feelings handicap who runs away at the first sign of trouble. »

« So I’m to blame."

"What? No, of course not! » she quickly responds. « It was planned that I wouldn’t come home the weekend you returned. Wiegman ordered me to keep an eye on you the whole week. I informed them of my absence well in advance. It was just that things were already bad before, and the news didn’t sit well. It’s in no way your fault, I assure you. »

I am to blame, even if she says otherwise. If she had returned, she might still be in a relationship. Can I be selfish for not wanting things to change? If none of this had happened, we wouldn’t be here sharing private conversations. I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I feel comfortable around her. I no longer feel exposed when confiding in her.

« Do you promise that everything we’ve talked about stays between us? » she asks.

« Of course », I promise. « And I’m not the type to break my promises. »

Time continues to pass. I hope it’s not too late. I’m dead tired, though. This first day has really worn me out. To think that just yesterday I spent the entire day in bed.

« I’m going to take you back to your room, she breaks the silence by standing up. You need to rest. »

« Do you work tomorrow? »

"I suppose I have no choice if I want you to behave. You might try to get my attention. »

« Oh, come on, I chuckle. »

I can tell she’ll bring up this story more than once. I accept her hand that helps me up. We put the equipment back in place before leaving our confessional space. Students are still hanging around in the hallways, which means it’s not yet past ten o’clock. Bronze accompanies me to my room, and I’m glad to see that it’s empty.

« Well then... Good night », she says.

« Thanks for everything, Bronze, » I reply softly.

« See you tomorrow, Batlle. »

I smile as she ruffles my hair. I don’t like the gesture, but coming from her, it doesn’t bother me. Once she’s gone, I head to the bathroom for a quick shower and put on my pajamas. I don’t waste any time sliding under the covers afterward. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted from the day, even though it’s better now. It was a special exchange, and I’m glad I’m the only one who knows about it. I get lost in my thoughts, but it doesn’t stop me from falling asleep effortlessly, with a smile on my lips.

#woso #lucy bronze #woso community #barca femeni #ona batlle #woso soccer #lionesses #sefutbol fem #leah williamson #ona batlle x lucy bronze #alexia putellas #ingrid engen

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thelightsandtheroses · 6 months

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4. lovesick

Let's Get Lost Chapter 4 | Frankie Morales x female reader

Summary: You and Frankie aren’t together anymore but you’re in a good place. However, spending a week together for your mutual friends’ wedding on a luxury resort might challenge that slightly and realising you’re still in love with your ex is a sure-fire recipe for disaster … Tropes: it was always you, getting back with the ex, beach!Frankie (you know *that* photoshoot) miscommunication, only one bed, good parent Frankie Chapter Warnings: 18+ MDNI, references to past drug addiction, references to alcohol, historic argument referenced, one passing reference to body insecurity, reader is unnamed with no physical desctipton but wears a necklace, Frankie and reader are parents, yearning? Word Count: 3350 Notes: Thank you for the lovely feedback so far - it's meant so much to me and I hope you enjoy this update. I am so excited to share this chapter with you! The chapter title is from Laurel's song lovesick.

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The nearby town is awake and full of life this morning. Dappled light warms your skin as you walk through the main street with the rest of your group. You can smell the salt air of the sea in the distance, interspersed with enticing smells of food as you walk past a bustling restaurant.

You could stay here forever.

Clara’s ahead of you, glued to Santiago and giggling happily as she animatedly tells him about everything she wants to do today. It sounds hectic, involving the beach, the summer club, and a truly incredible amount of ice-cream.

Next to you, Frankie has a soft smile on his face as you catch him looking at your daughter. He seems more relaxed at last. There’s a lightness to him again, his smile reaches his eyes and there’s warmth in his face again. You missed that.

You missed him. You miss him.

Living a life agonising over what could have been is wrong. You made the right decision to leave Frankie at the time. You know that.

You and Clara deserved better than the life that he was promising you both at that moment. Clara was, she is, the priority and quite simply, you didn’t want your child to grow up around active addiction. That’s not a bad thing. Frankie feels the same, he’s told you.

Frankie’s changed now though. Your Frankie’s back and that’s a complication you didn’t expect.

You’re happy for him. He’s lost that haunted look in his eyes; the shadows are lighter on his face. It’s even good to see him in those ridiculous patterned holiday shirts, to notice his hair is just a little longer and the curls are peeking through again and look clean and healthy. He’s not been wearing his hat on holiday and there’s something about seeing his hair like this that makes you want to run your hands through it.

You cannot ruin Benny and Lia’s wedding though. You can suppress this.

You have to.

You’re so close to Frankie right now though.

It happens without thought. You’re not sure who initiates it , whether it’s you or Frankie, but somehow as your arms unconsciously move with the stride you take, your fingers have brushed his. Then they’re entwined. Gently, barely touching really, but linked all the same.

It feels electric.

It feels dangerous.

What are you playing at? Is this wrong? Is it cruel to Frankie? Or you? And what about your daughter? She needs consistency, she needs structure. Not the messed up will they, won’t they? you and her Frankie could develop into.

This feels natural though. It reminds of you of how things used to be. Hand in hand walking down the city streets after dinner, so incontrovertibly in love with him. Lia used to joke you were couple goals, until you weren’t.

The memories you’ve tried to avoid since your breakup, to suppress so that the heartbreak of losing him wasn’t so sharp, are flooding back. It’s too much, it’s too hard.

It’s too messy.

You need the wall back up. You need the pillow barrier to better fight these thoughts back, to fight these stupid tiny gestures.

It’s harmless though, right?

You’re holding hands, you’re hardly pressed against the wall in a sweaty mess. So it’s fine.

It’s fine.

Santi looks back and he meets your eyes. You watch him look down fleetingly and then back at you. No one else would notice it, you’re not even sure Frankie does. You do though. You see how his face changes, the disappointment, something unreadable there too. He shakes his head just slightly.

It’s enough for you to withdraw, to walk towards Clara, making a fuss of her instead.

This is meant to be a family holiday for her, it’s meant to be about Benny and Lia’s wedding.

You can’t do this.

As the steam from the shower dissipates, you notice your reflection looks just a little healthier; a little less weary. While your mind has been running away with you, you realise that the holiday itself might be helping.

You haven’t thought about checking your work emails in days, you haven’t thought about that project or any of it. You feel a little more like yourself again which probably makes sense because you’re at the halfway point now. It always feels like you just start to enjoy and relax in your breaks as the end looms closer.

You place your damp towel back on the radiator and tug at the waistband of your loose trousers one final time. You take a deep breath, applying the finishing touches to freshening up your appearance by liberally spritzing your perfume on your neck and wrists. The warmth of the cardamom scent immediately soothes you further.

You move to put your necklace back on. It’s one you wear every day, you’re not sure how it started but you feel naked without it now. You can’t seem to get the clasp on. The more you try, the more your fingers feel clunky and sweaty and panic rises in your stomach.

You need this necklace to be able to go to lunch, you irrationally tell yourself, adding more unwanted pressure, making your fingers even more slippery.

“Crap,” you exclaim as you almost drop the necklace down the sink.

“Everything okay?” You hear Frankie ask, his soft voice a balm on your panic.

“Uh, hey Frankie, can you help me for a second?”

“Sure, sure. Are you um, are you decent?”

“Yeah, yes, um …” It hadn’t occurred to you that it might have sounded like you weren’t and for a second you try and think about all the scenarios where it might have been something else.

Frankie opens the bathroom door and closes it behind him gently. “Everything okay? You look alright?”

“I can’t get my necklace and I almost dropped it down the sink and - my hands are all sweaty?”

“It’s no problem.”

You hand him the jewellery quickly and he smiles. “You wear this every day, don’t you? I think you were wearing it when we met.”

“I would have been.”

”It’s pretty.”

“Thanks.”

“Can you turn around?”

You oblige, shifting so that Frankie can easily place the necklace around your neck.

“There,” he says after a second.

“Thanks.”

You turn around so you’re facing him. He’s already ready for your late lunch and you can see he’s caught the sun just a little this morning. The guys had been zip-lining earlier after your breakfast in the town - Benny’s idea for a more inclusive, sober, stag event. All of you had already been diving earlier in the week - you love being in the water, it had been like coming home.

Right now, it feels like that moment when you first start a dive though. That momentary pause of doubt as you rely on the oxygen tank, as you sink down deeper into the water’s secrets. It’s exhilarating and terrifying.

You feel like that here with Frankie now.

You move closer to him, taking in the woody scent of his cologne, the slight hint of coconut sunscreen on his arms. He’s here, he’s real.

You’ve missed him.

Your lips are on his without thinking. It’s a move so familiar that it’s pure instinct. You loop your arms around his neck, bringing him ever closer to you so you can feel his torso pressing against you.

He responds, hands in your hair, moving you against the wall as he kisses you deeply.

The two of you don’t need words. You never did.

His hand skims your face, moves down your neck towards your waist as he traces the contours of your body, rests his hands on the edge of your shorts, breathes heavily onto your neck before returning to your lips.

You can feel how he wants you. You can feel the anticipation building in your stomach. You need him, you realises as you trace your fingers on the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning it and feeling the heat of his skin, noticing the freckles coming out with all the sunshine here. You take in the broadness of his shoulders, the way his lips feel against yours and his hands and you need him to move away from your waistband, beyond your cotton underwear to a point of no return.

This kiss already obliterates that barrier though, right?

His hands finally start to move down -

“Mummy,” your daughter calls and you immediately pull away from Frankie.

He looks at you, breathing raggedly.

“I’ll uh - I’ll go and check on her.”

“Yeah, I just, I just need a minute,” Frankie says in a low voice, his cheeks flushed.

“Right, yes, of course.”

“Mummy? Daddy?”

“Just coming,” you say, rolling your eyes at Frankie’s smirk and the slight shake of his head there. You raise your eyebrows at him.

“Not quite,” you whisper teasingly.

“Well,” Frankie says, leaning in close again.

“MUMMY!”

“Dammit, I can tell you she’s definitely spent too much with Will. Fuck me,,” Frankie mutters. You’re not sure entirely what he means by referring to Will at that moment, but you’re too busy trying to quickly regain your composure, to get to your daughter. It’s something you can store to muse on later.

Reality calls.

The sound of the whirlpool covers the dull tones of discussion from others in the spa area. You take a sip of your tea, leaning back and shutting your eyes.

“So this is nice,” Lia says, the smile evident in the tone of her voice. “I feel like I’m finally relaxing a bit.”

“Good, you should.” How are you doing with all the prep and you - you’re marrying Benny!”

“I know, it’s … I don’t even know what to say. I love him. That’s it - I love him and I want this. I am so ready for this.” Lia smiles happily, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears. “It’s going to be great.”

“I’m so happy for you both, ‘m happy something so good came out of the last year or so.”

“Are you and Frankie - are you two okay still?” There’s caution in her voice. The anxious part of you wonders if perhaps it’s because she’s afraid you’ll ruin her wedding, cause a scene like you did at Will’s wedding. Guilt pools in your stomach because you shouldn’t make your friend feel like this.

You’re desperate to tell her.

I kissed him. It’s on the tip of your tongue, you can feel the words forming.

You want to tell her.

It was a damn good kiss after all.

Something stops you though.

“We’re good,” you say finally. “We’re friends again and we both want the best for Clara. That’s all that matters, right?”

“Yeah. I’m actually really proud of you both. This is pretty damn mature. I’m glad you’re not, I don’t know, just messing each other around. I know it was hard, I know the breakup and everything that happened - you’ve been really strong and I am proud of you.”

On any other day, her words would fill you with pride. Today though, guilt spreads through your body instead, searing heat of anxiety with it.

“So, ”

Your name is called as the massage therapist walks into the spa.

“Later,” you say to Lia apologetically before following the stranger out of the main spa, grateful for her interruption.

Massages are strange. They’re supposed to be relaxing but you find it hard to turn off your brain, the hints of anxiety about the parts of your body you’re less than comfortable with, whether or not you’re being judged and the underlying worry of what if you fall asleep? What if you snore?

This is a surprisingly relaxing experience though - your masseuse has checked her pressure, ensured you’re comfortable and you’re starting to relax a little, to lose a little of that tension you were holding. Soft piano music plays and you shut your eyes, trying to turn off your thoughts a little.

“So are you the bride? It’s a big wedding party, isn’t it?”

“No, my friend Lia is. I’m one of the bridesmaids.”

“That’s nice.”

“They met because of me though. Well, me and my ex.” You have no idea why you’re saying this but surely there’s a privacy code, right? You can’t tell Lia, or Sophia, or anyone. So why not a stranger?

“That’s nice.”

“It was … wasn’t the best scenario.”

“Oh.” The masseuse pays attention to a knot in your neck, releasing some of the waves of tension you’ve felt recently. Maybe that’s what makes you continue.

“We had an awful break up. At our friend’s wedding, who is in fact the brother of the groom. I mean awful too and public.”

“Oh boy.”

“Yep, talk about drama. And I think - no, no, I definitely did. I just kissed my ex today, like a proper in the movies, perfect cinematic kiss. That’s one thing, but I think I might still be in love with him. I’m going to ruin Lia’s wedding too, aren’t I?”

The masseuse pauses, you feel her lift her hands above your body.

“I’m going to give you a free face mask with this. I think - I think you need it.”

Eighteen Months Ago - Will’s Wedding, Florida You’ve been pretending all evening. You have become so skilled at pretending, you think you could give Meryl Streep a run for her money. It’s exhausting though. You’re exhausted. Next to you, Sophia is humming as she opens her lip gloss and tops up her makeup. She’s changed into a different dress for the evening; less dramatic and easier to dance in. She looks beautiful, there’s a warm smile on her face, her complexion is glowing and she looks serene. Part of you hates her for that. “You look great,” Sophia says as she catches you frowning at your own reflection. “I’m so glad you and Frankie are here. the way Will is with him and Santi, they’re as much his brothers as Benny. And after Tom -” “Yeah.” “It was nice that Molly came, right? I think Tom would have liked that.” “Definitely,” you say, even though from how Frankie used to talk about the divorce with Tom and Molly you are not so sure Tom is looking down grinning right now. Tom didn’t make it back though and Frankie barely did. You still don’t know much about what happened, Sophia doesn’t seem to either. The men don’t talk about it at all. You’ve lost your Frankie though. He didn’t need to die to not come back. It just means that no one knows you’re in mourning. You keep hanging on, you keep hoping. You’re sure there’s something you could do better to help get him back. “How’s Clara doing?” Sophia asks. “Great.” She hasn’t slept in weeks, maybe months. Sleep itself is a foreign concept now and no matter what you read, no matter what you try, your daughter just cannot sleep through a night. “And you and Frankie? Are you guys next - should I, uh, aim the bouquet towards you?” You laugh lightly, swallow the bitter taste in your throat and the words you can’t say. “Sure. Shall we head out?” You’re pretty sure Frankie is using again.

Now

You pull yourself out of the memories, not wanting to go any further into that night.

You remember the aftermath all too well though. The DJ was playing Murder on the Dancefloor and the irony of it still makes you almost laugh. Your relationship died on that dance floor to a fitting song.

Flashes come back to you against your will as you try and focus on the spa, on the now.

“I don’t think we can do this anymore. I love you, Frankie. God, I love you, but we can’t.” Frankie’s look of betrayal filtering through the residual high. The heaviness that here at Will’s wedding you’ve suddenly voiced the thoughts that have consumed you for weeks. Liquid courage and the image of Sophia’s face, so full of a hope you can’t imagine anymore, guided you to this moment. “Here, really? You’re just giving up on me?” “Tell me you’re sober, Frankie, swear it.” “Don’t do this here.” “We can’t do this anymore. We can’t. It’s not - I’m done, I can’t, Frankie, I can’t.” Your voice is panicked, rising. Echoed shouts, the feel of stares, so many stares. Music going quiet. Santi and Benny guiding you both away from everybody else. Tears. Yours. His. An ending. It’s over. You can’t come back from this.

You blink back tears. It was a bad break up and it would have been so much easier if you’d ever hated Frankie, if he’d ever hated you. Breaking up because you love someone but it’s not enough is a pain you hope your daughter never has to experience.

He’s different now though.

You’re different.

It would be different, wouldn’t it?

Clara’s curled up, fast asleep in her bed. Soft snores sound as you place your book on the bedside table.

“Hey,” Frankie says softly as he shuts the bathroom door carefully. “She looks exhausted.”

“It’s all that time in the playgroup and sun,” you reply affectionately.

“Do you think she’s having a good holiday?”

“Yeah, of course. I hope so.”

“Me too. It’s good to see her happy like this. I’m glad we did this. For her.”

“Same. She’s going to look adorable at their wedding, isn’t she?”

“Yeah. Can’t believe it’s only a couple of days away and then we’re -”

“I know.” In two days, Lia and Benny get married. You won’t wreck it, you won’t.

You look at the bed, the pillow barrier Frankie has automatically built. Neither of you have spoken about the kiss before lunch. When you returned from the spa and got ready for dinner, you had spoken about Clara and your books and anything but the kiss.

The pillows feel wrong though. You remember the start of the week, how it felt secure to have the pillows between, mature even. You are grown ups, friends and exes and the pillows protected that. However, the barrier is a merely a representation of the line you obliterated earlier. It can’t work anymore.

You’re not just co-parents.

You don’t know if Frankie feels the same though, if too much has happened now for the two of you to forge something new.

The pillows are a weight though. You look at Frankie and hesitantly move one of the pillows away from the barrier.

He smiles, almost imperceptibly and then he does the same from his side of the bed.

With the lights out, there are still so many words unsaid, so many conversations the two of you need to have.

You turn in the bed, feeling the warmth radiating from Frankie’s back. You hear him shift, the rush of air as he turns around and he’s facing you.

“Hi,” he whispers, reaching a hand to touch your face.

“Hi,” you reply.

Perhaps that’s the only word you need right now. The two of you are starting all over again.

Tag List

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heyidkyay · 8 months

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twelve

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: This part took way too long to write. Had a bit of writers block ngl, but I managed to get it done last night when I couldn't sleep. Be prepared for a load of fluff but also some surprises. It's a good chapter, I enjoyed writing it once I finally got into it! But I'm also sorry for long wait! Hopefully the next will be along soon.

> Just a reminder! We left off on the red carpet with Mouse and Matty:) You can look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 22m ago GFC Charity Event! The gals are currently live and interviewing The 1975! So far we’ve had Jamie Bell, Peter Capaldi, Dylan and Jordan Banjo! 2TIME @/user1 WHAT was that? 102 @/user2 chemistrychemistrychemistry Ugh! @/user3 SHE COOKED FOR HIM?? Soloveme? @/user4 What’s going on at this event?? It’s all over my feed😭 MILK @/user5 Screaming this is honestly all so mental Parisin75 @/user6 Wait so they’re friends now? Or is something else happening?? > Too_shy @/user7 Last time I checked but he seemed so happy on the carpet, and he wouldn’t look into the lens at all. His eyes were always focused just above it, either on Adi or Mouse! >> Drumonmepls @/user8 Couldn’t have been Adi!! She was to the left of Ross on and off screen!

***

It was days after the event that things seemed to finally settle again. For Matty, at least. Me? I was still getting the odd DM and tweet here and there, but I couldn’t complain, not with how it had been at the very start. Hordes upon hordes of people had come to make their opinions known on the stance of Matty and I’s ‘sudden’ friendship; fans had taken to both Twitter and Instagram, they’d called into the show, and a few had even turned up outside of the studio.

Matty had been helpful throughout it all though, mainly just finding ways to take my mind off of it and sending security down to the building just to ‘be on the safe side’. It’d been a nice gesture, sweet even. But had also meant that his management team had cracked down on him and the band, cooping the lot of them up in a recording studio and pressing them to finish up the album they were currently working on.

That in itself hadn’t affected me much, the whole Matty being distracted by work thing, because it had happened around about the same time that prep work for the Christmas period had kicked in. Which was basically a time where Adi and I focused on pre recording a few shows so that we could sail smoothly into the new year.

This year it had been hectic, to say the very least, but Finn had been a Godsend. Offering to pick up Teddy from nursery on the days when we were filming late and even keeping him occupied on the one weekend that we’d lost the previous day's audio- which had been a fucking nightmare.

Today though, was finally a day where I got some time to myself. Well, myself and Teddy, seeing as I’d completely and utterly missed him even with only having been gone a few extra hours in the day than usual. Still, the kid was my little ball of light and without him I’d be utterly lost.

“Alright there, Teds, what’re you drawing?”

It was a Sunday, the 17th to be precise, and so we only had a week and a bit left in the lead up to Christmas. I’d spent the morning wrapping most of Teddy’s presents before he’d woken and demanded sustenance- which, fair enough. But he was always a little moody whenever he first woke up. Bit like me, I suppose. And so, whilst I’d started cooking him his breakfast, I’d settled him down at the table with some paper and pens to keep him distracted, an old album by The Cranberries playing.

“Plane.” The toddler retorted easily enough, tongue poking out one side of his mouth in utmost concentration.

Grinning at the small action, I settled a cup of juice before him and then stroked a hand through his unruly hair. “Is that for mémé then?”

Teddy hummed, nodding his head at the odd angle it was resting at. I chuckled, always enamoured by his every little thing.

“That’s brilliant, bubs! I’m sure she’ll love it.” I assured him softly, trailing my fingers through his hair one last time before withdrawing to finish up with cooking.

“How many days?” Teddy asked once I’d plated everything up and taken my seat beside him at the table, immediately I knew what he was on about- seeing as he’d only asked the same question a dozen times a day since the last time we’d phoned my mum.

I pretended to think about it long and hard. “Um… about this many days.” I said, holding up six fingers.

Teddy’s brow instantly furrowed as he set about leaning as close as he could get over the tabletop to point towards each of my fingers. “One, two, three…”

“Six!”

I beamed once he’d finally got it, clapping along with him. “So good, you clever boy! Six- six days til mémé gets here!”

Teddy repeated the words in a breathy murmur, grinning gummily back at me as he wiggled in his chair. Then it was just “six” over and over again for a short while.

I tittered faintly to myself, shaking my head before we went about the rest of our breakfast in much the same manner.

It was almost ten to eleven when the doorbell went and I frowned at the thought of who it could possibly be.

“Mum, door.” Teddy informed me, still so invested in his colouring. I hummed softly in turn, wiping my hands before getting up to go answer it.

“Remember to put the lids back on.” I reminded him about the pens, tucking his hair behind his ear as I rounded his seat, “I’ll just be a sec, okay?”

“‘Kay.”

I smiled softly at his monosyllabic reply, listening to him mumble to himself as I padded my way into the hallway. From here I could just make out the darkened shadow standing on the other side of the door’s paned glass and flicked through a mental list of who it could possibly be, wondering if I'd forgotten anything that was supposed to be happening today. But I reckoned it could just as easily have been Finn dropping by for an impromptu visit, or Adi even.

Flicking the latch and pressing down on the handle, I opened it up only to blink at the figure that stood before me. They gifted me an impish grin as they pushed away from the door’s stoop and onto steady feet.

“Figured I’d just pop by, say hello.” Matty mentioned by way of hello, fiddling with an unlit cigarette he held between his fingers whilst I continued to stare back in surprise, “Studio’s been booked for the day, so I managed an easy escape.” He added when I made no move to reply, “Thought we could grab a coffee or something- if you ain't busy, that is.”

He tacked that last bit on in a rush, as though he was beginning to understand why I was so silent. He’d really, really caught me off guard here.

“Er, I mean it’s a bit out of the blue and that. Should've really texted, I know. But I figured I'd try my luck.” He blundered again, shifting awkwardly on my front step now, looking enough out of place for it to finally blink me out of my stupor.

“I-” I went to say but was ultimately interrupted by another voice from further inside the flat, one that was approaching on toddling feet all too fast for me to react to its sudden presence.

Matty’s eyes bulged a tad at the little face that poked its way out from behind my knees, and mine followed when it finally hit me what was actually happening.

“God, sorry! You just- it’s- I just wasn’t expecting you.” I fumbled, arms reaching down on impulse to pick up the toddler by my feet. I forced out a heavy breath before plastering on a big smile for Teddy, who only seemed to have eyes for the curly haired man staring back at him. “Um, you wanting to come in then? I can do tea, I think. Coffee, even.”

I didn’t really give Matty much of a choice in the matter though, in truth, because I was sailing away to escape the sudden scenario that had started on my doorstep, simply so that I could wrap my head around it all. It was just as I made it back into the kitchen that I heard the door rattle close behind us though and then, as I'd perched Teddy back in his seat, I glanced up to find that Matty had in fact accepted the offer of a warm brew.

It was strange to watch it all fall into place for him, his eyes straying over toys that littered the livingroom floor, the tiny bike which sat in the corner, the star-chart that hung on the cupboard above the fridge, all of Teddy’s artwork and clothes that had been thrown about haphazardly over the last day or two.

I swallowed around my anxiety then, not really sure how I felt now that I knew that Matty finally knew. Because see, I had never really been sure. Teddy wasn’t much of a well kept secret amongst my longtime listeners but I didn’t go flaunting pictures around or mentioning him at every turn. For safety reasons and privacy’s sake. So I hadn't been too certain on whether Matty knew of him or not, having noticed that he’d failed to ever mention him in our texts or calls.

“Um, sorry for the mess. Work’s been a nightmare, and this is my first proper day off in weeks, you know? So." I shrugged a little helplessly, looking out at all of the chaos, then decided to pull on my big girl trousers and trek through this mess like I did everything else in life. “Tea, then? Or coffee?”

The small cough that escaped Matty’s throat echoed around the room once he’d found purchase in the kitchen’s entryway and his voice was tinged with a slight rasp when he finally spoke, “Yeah, uh yeah, please. Coffee.”

I smiled mostly to myself as I turned away to refill the kettle, my mind still whirling but finding relief in Matty’s obvious shock too. Whilst it began to boil though I had nothing much to occupy my mind with, so I decided to putter back on over to the table where Teds had started back up with his drawing and attempted to relax my shoulders.

“Go on, sit down,” I said to Matty, pointing to a chair as I tried to steer us back into easier waters, “Feel lucky you just missed breakfast, this one tends to get it everywhere.” I chuckled lightly in hopes to fill the quiet I was met with.

Teddy glanced up at me then with a prominent pout, obviously not too pleased about my comment. “No.” He argued and I heard Matty snort as he finally took a seat opposite, leaving Teddy to act as the buffer between us both.

“Uh, yes.” I fired back at the toddler, but little good it did me when Teddy only seemed to maintain his avid disagreement.

“Uhuh. I eat it all today.” He reminded me, lips pushed out as his brows climbed higher up his forehead, leaning against the table’s edge again on his elbows. “See?” He added on, pointing a finger over towards where a sink full of soapy dishes now laid.

I smiled, unable to do anything but, though it was Matty who actually replied to him, which both surprised me and put me on immediate edge. “I mean, the little guys got a point. If you ate it all then there can’t be any mess, right?” He directed that last bit towards the little rugrat attempting to evade all guilt and I paused in wait to see how Teddy would respond.

Teddy appeared wary for a moment, blinking over at Matty in a startle, probably having not expected to be roped into a conversation, before his lips settled into something more like a grin. “Right!” He mimicked with a short nod of his head, his ‘r’ sounding more like a ‘w’.

Matty all but beamed at the sudden attention he’d drawn and continued to do so once Teddy started prattling away to him at a hundred miles an hour. I just left them to it, listening in as I padded back over to finish making the drinks.

It was only after Matty had just about knocked back most of his coffee that Teddy grew tired of talking and asked if we could do something fun, eyes drifting over towards where we often kept his wellies. I knew just what fun he was looking to find.

I conceded easily enough, seeing as it was both his day as well as mine, and smiled with a gesture of my chin, “Go on then, but brush your teeth and find some proper clothes, then we can head on over. Alright?”

Teddy’s head shook up and down in rapid succession, already bolting up out of his seat to make a run for his bedroom. Matty wore an inquisitive look once it was just him and I, both of us sat on opposite sides of the table.

“The park.” I informed the singer, fiddling with the handle of my now empty mug whilst my eyes kept sliding back and forth from the counter to Matty himself.

The man simply hummed and leaned back in his seat, I was forced to watch on as he cast his eyes about the rest of my kitchen, taking his fill now that he had a moment to finally do so. I swallowed and struggled with the unforeseen worries of what he might see, what he might think of it all.

I wasn't well off, by any means. But I had a decent income, enough to provide for Teddy and I, as well as live comfortably. Though if the radio show suddenly dipped and we lost most of our viewing, then there’d be a whole different story to be told.

Even so, it was a much different life to the one Matty lived. That much I knew. So it wasn't too strange of me to wonder whether or not it met any of his standards. And how it alone made me feel.

“How old then?”

The question startled me somewhat, enough that I blinked and looked up at him without thought. My brows furrowed a tad and so he continued, “Teddy- was that it?” And at my nod of confirmation, he smiled at me for another answer, “How old is he?”

Caught off guard still, I gaped for a second and then forced myself to reply, “Um, four, he’ll be five soon enough.”

“Wow.” Was what Matty replied with in a soft murmur, his head moving in an ever so slight nod, “A good age though.” At my questioning look, he chuckled, “Or so I’ve been told.”

I hummed, mostly amused, then fiddled with one of the many pens Teddy had left behind at the table.

“They’ve all been good so far- the ages.” I said to him, rather stupidly, and grimaced around a low laugh at myself, “Just, I mean he’s a good kid, is all.”

Matty was smiling at me when I glanced back up, his eyes squinting with the strength of it. He knocked his fist on the table lightly, “Seems it. Just wish you’dve mentioned him sooner.”

I frowned at that, lips pursing as my nose wrinkled. I didn’t much like the way he’d phrased that last bit, because it’s not that I wasn’t proud of Teddy, I was always showing him off, constantly even. But I also didn’t feel as though everyone had the right to see to that. “Yeah, well he’s not a secret I’ve kept hidden. It’s just safer mostly.”

It was Matty’s turn to frown then, seemingly offended by the offhand remark. “What and that includes me, does it? You think that I’d be a danger to him?”

I stared back at him, brow dipped a tad, eyes squinted. Because I hadn’t meant to hurt him, far from, though could he really blame me for being cautious, for having wanted to keep Teddy away for as long as I had?

“No,” I answered him, and it was an honest one, “But only now, after having known you as long as I have. I mean, you can’t really be surprised by the fact that I didn’t mention him in the beginning, Matty. I hardly knew you! I’d only ever had the picture that’d been painted of you in my head, I didn’t want that around him.”

He scoffed quietly at that and I heard the way his boot kicked out under the table as he shuffled further back in his chair to run a hand through his hair. “Yeah and what about now then?”

He had me there, I supposed. I sighed and raised a hand to rub at my tired eyes, this wasn't a conversation I had planned for yet, let alone on a morning like this.

“It’s hard, okay? It’s hard to know when to introduce him to new people, he’s only ever really known those closest to me, and after that it’s just been his nursery teacher and the handful of kids in his class.” I explained, watching Matty and hoping he heard the truth in my words, “And you’re this fucking celebrity people love, you’ve got places to be, fans to meet! I never once thought that you’d stick around, not for as long as you have at least. Or that you’d eventually pull me into your life.”

He looked up then, expression so carefully made. “And that’s a bad thing?”

I folded in on myself a little at his question. Unsure.

Matty rolled his lips together and dipped his chin in a slow nod, “Right.”

“Matty, it’s not like that.” I tried.

He was quick with his reply though, all but leaning into the table’s edge now, “Then what’s it like, Mouse?”

He hardly ever called me Mouse, from the day we’d met it had always been Squeaks.

I dragged a hand over my face and then into my hair, perhaps in hopes to bide my time, but mainly because I felt cornered. How was I supposed to tell Matty how much I valued him? His chaotic presence in my life, his texts and calls, his friendship. It was something I hadn’t known I’d needed, but he’d come along and surprised me. He had stuck around, even when I thought he wouldn’t, and he wasn’t asking for anything more than just my company. He didn’t have an ulterior motive, some trick up his sleeve. Or at least that’s what I believed.

“Does this change things, knowing I have a son?” I heard myself ask him, it was a genuine curiosity but I also had to know. I didn’t want to be strung along or let Matty into Teddy’s life like I had Finn and Adi, only for him to then up and leave when he finally grew bored of the normality of it all.

Matty simply stared back at me, those brown eyes of his narrowed as they flittered back and forth between my own, his lips parted slightly as he thought the question over.

“Do you want it to?”

And that hadn’t been the answer I was expecting.

Instantly I shook my head, dropping the pen so that my hands could fall limply into my lap. “Of course not, I like having you around, Matty. Me keeping Teddy from you has nothing to do with that.”

He continued to watch me.

Then finally he conceded with a prompt nod and I felt myself breathe in. “So, the park. Is there a spare invitation going?”

I let the air go in a stilted chuckle, smiling at the common ground he’d gifted us but also at the image of Matty messing about in a playground of all places. “Yes, yeah, ‘course.” I assured him, “Just, be prepared for any puddles, alright? He will soak you if you're within five feet of the splashzone.”

Matty finally laughed too, this soft thing I hadn’t really ever heard from him before, not in this way at least, and then grinned, whirling around in his seat when a stomping toddler came darting back into the room.

“Wellies ta!”

My eyes fell closed as I released another heavy sigh, “Please! Teds. Remember? Please, not ta.”

Teddy merely blinked back up at me and so I decided it would have to be a battle picked for yet another day.

“Fine, go get them then.”

Matty snorted unhelpfully, which brought him to Teddy’s attention once more. “Need help with ‘em, little man?” He asked, raising a brow at me in hopes that it’d be okay.

I swallowed but ultimately nodded, I couldn’t not when Teddy’s curls started bouncing wildly with the nodding of his head at the question.

And so, I watched them go, Matty taking Teddy’s extended hand, praying that I hadn’t made a massive mistake here. Hoping that somehow Matty would prove me wrong and stay, for a little while.

–

The days after Matty’s impromptu visit came with little to no fuss, it was only when the man wasn’t in the studio that was on the phone to me- and by extension, Teddy as well, who’d taken quite the shine to him. Who could’ve known, hey?

Still, it was a massive change of pace. For me at least, I hadn’t managed to get a read on how Matty felt about it all, but I had yet to worry over it. Mostly because of the Christmas period and how stressed I’d been.

“Finn, I swear he’s driving me out of my mind!” I complained down the phone to my best mate, the thing was currently perched between my shoulder and ear whilst I attempted to throw my hair up into a half-arsed bun, if only to keep it out of my face. “The mess! I mean, it’s like a tornado’s gone and ripped its way through my flat!”

“He’s four, babe.” Came Finn’s unhelpful response. I huffed.

“Exactly! Four, how can someone so small create such a massive mess?” I stressed, trying to clear away as much of the clutter my living room was presently made up of as quickly as I could. “Mam’s gonna be here in,” I glanced hurriedly over at the clock on the far wall and felt my anxiety spike, “Just over an hour! I can’t let her walk into a bombsite!”

Finn laughed at that and so I scowled in retort, even if he couldn’t see me through the phone.

“Finn!” I admonished.

“Alright, sorry! It’s just, she’s your mum, babe. She won’t care what the flat looks like.” He tried to soothe me as he moved about on the other side, doing whatever it was that he was doing. “Why’s he made such a mess anyway?”

I gritted my teeth as I stepped on yet another rogue piece of Lego and just dropped down to start rounding everything and anything I could possibly see into a great big tub.

“He’s excited, wanted to look nice for when mam shows up but also wanted to showcase to her all of his drawings and sculptures.” I told him, grimacing at the penstained action figure I picked up before tossing it amongst the heap too. “I’ve been in the kitchen mostly, cooking for when she arrives, so I didn’t really bear witness to the fact that he’d taken my permission and flipping run with it! You should see my front room, Finn.” I shook my head for the umpteenth time since I’d walked in and blinked at the chaos I’d been met with, “It’s a proper tip.”

I was given a resounding chuckle once more and simply decided to slump there on the floor, glad to note that most of everything had now been packed into the box. Out of sight, out of mind and all that.

“Finn, I don’t even want to go and see what his bedroom looks like as of right now. I can just picture how his wardrobe’s been overturned and all of his clothes have been tossed about the room.”

I forced myself up onto my feet then, halfheartedly listening to Finn’s reply. I still needed to sort myself out before anything else and that thought alone stressed me out further.

And of course! Of course it would be in that exact moment that the doorbell went.

“Fuck.” I mumbled to myself, but found my feet already taking me towards the door. I paused only briefly by the mirror to catch sight of the mess my hair was in and tugged it free in hopes it’d help somewhat, “Listen babe, sorry for all my whinging but I’d best go. Door’s just gone and I’m guessing it’ll be that parcel I’ve been waiting on.”

“Cutting it pretty late there.” Finn said and I couldn’t agree more. It was the 23rd, Christmas was now only days away and still I’d yet to receive it- even after having ordered it well over three weeks ago!

“Fucking hell, tell me about it,” I groaned, opening the door up to be met with the sight of a big wrapped box blocking my vision. My forehead wrinkled in utter confusion, “Um, Finn? I really am going to have to call you back.”

“Why, what’s happened? Don’t leave me hanging! Who is it!”

The parcel dropped down an inch then to reveal a familiar grin and shining eyes.

“Surprise?”

I hurriedly hung up the phone and shoved it into my back pocket, the feeling of bewilderment unable to override the instant worries that washed over me about what a state I must've looked. But I bullied those thoughts back down, ignoring the massive part of me that was currently screaming at the entire situation, for whatever reason I couldn’t even begin to really understand, cause it was just Matty, right? And instead propped myself up against the doorframe.

“What’s this then?” I asked, unable to help my smile when he was looking back at me seemingly so pleased with himself.

“Christmas, in’t it?” He replied all too easily, shaking the rather large present he held in his grasp to further the point.

“I can see that.” I chuckled, shaking my head a little at the picture he made, all bundled up on my front doorstep practically dwarfed by the box he’d brought along. “I just thought you were headed home today.”

He shrugged, an action that was made funnier by the large parcel, but continued smiling, “Meant to, just couldn’t leave without seeing you lot first.”

I blinked, startled by his words. But grinned when he merely widened both his eyes in exaggeration.

“It is fucking freezin’ out here, you know! Could invite a mate in.” Matty reminded me, so I hummed, mulling it over. But he wasn’t one to give up too easily and bribery appeared to be his best tactic here, “I’ve got presents. So open up or they’re going back.”

I narrowed my eyes in turn, “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, but darling I would.”

I found myself grinning at him again, something I tended to do whenever he was around it seemed. There was just something about him, I supposed.

He went to take a step back then and I relented all too easily. “Alright.” I laughed, opening the door up wider to allow him in. Matty all but jumped over the threshold, bringing the cold in with him, and whilst he set about shaking off his coat I went to close the door behind him, only to be stopped by a bright red coat.

“Oh, thanks.” I said in surprise to the postie that managed to time his arrival so perfectly. “Thank you,” I repeated for good measure, shooting my head up from the packaged parcel he’d handed me, “Happy Holidays!” He grinned in return, already taking off back down the steps and parroting the same sentiment to me.

I finally managed to shut the door after that and was met with a ruddy-faced Matty, who was wrapped in a big jumper I was immediately jealous of.

“Last minute present?” He wondered with a smirk and I waved him off.

“Ordered it weeks ago, got here just in time.”

Matty hummed and turned back to glance down at the big box that now rested against my hallway radiator, level with my hip it seemed. “Where is the monster?” He asked me, using the name both he and Teddy had taken a liking to.

My brow furrowed slightly. “You really didn’t have to, Matty.” I said to him quietly, looking down at the present he’d gotten for my son.

He was having none of it though, rolled his eyes in fact and hunched over to pick the box up again. “Shut up.”

I snorted and couldn’t help but bite back, “You shut up.”

“Real mature, sweetheart. Ain’t you parents meant to be all boring and nice?” Matty quipped as he wandered his way into my living room, I breathed in a sigh of relief when I followed behind and found that my efforts in cleaning hadn’t been in vain.

“Ha ha. Should’ve taken up comedy.” I retorted to him, fixing a few pillows that sat askew on the settee, something to which Matty also rolled his eyes at.

“Nah, band makes more money.” He answered easily, like he’d thought about it before, as he glanced about for the best place to put the box.

“By the tree if you want, or you can leave it next to the chair so he’ll see it when he barrels in.”

Matty laughed and went with the latter. “You been alright then?” He asked me, taking the time to glance at all the holiday cards that rested on the mantelpiece nearby.

“Yeah,” I sighed with a small smile, “Hectic but that’s expected, isn’t it?”

He shot me a warm grin, nodding. “Christmas, babe.” Was all he replied with, which was fair enough, then he went to reach out to pick up a picture frame of me and a very very tiny Teddy. “When was this?”

I stepped closer and smiled down at the photo, “I was still in hospital with him then, my midwife took it.”

Matty hummed, looking down at it with a soft smile. It was then that I heard a thump sound somewhere down the hall, so I released a weighted breath and forced myself to step away, “I’ve got to go check on Teddy, he wanted to dress himself this morning and he’s been way too quiet.”

With another laugh, Matty let me go, nosing through more of the photos and cards which sat along the shelf. Something I could understand, he’d only been here just twice before, but even still, he didn’t care for how blatant he was with his nosing.

I took the parcel with me as I went, slipping into my bedroom to unwrap and grin down at it. It was Matty’s, which is why its arrival had been so perfect. I'd begun to think that I would have to give it to him the next time I saw him. But now was as good a time as ever.

In a rush, I pulled out a gift bag and some coloured tissue paper, having no time to actually wrap it, and plopped it in. Making my way into the next room to see where Teddy had gotten to.

When I pushed his door open further than it was, I was only slightly surprised by the state of it. The rugrat in question, though, was stood by his wardrobe door, pulling an array of funny faces in its mirror.

“Oi mister, what you been up to?”

Teddy startled slightly at my voice but was giggling when he spun around to spot me. “Got dressed myself.” He stated, pointing proudly at the t-shirt he’d managed to pull on.

“Hm, so you have!” Taking in the jeans and tee combo he’d picked, I then grinned over at him, “Looking good, boyo. Could be a little stylist when you’re older, you know!”

Teddy gave me one of his impish grins and then darted over towards me. “No!” He dragged out in reply, hands clutching at my legs now he was near, his sweet mischievous face staring up at me, “Gone be like you.”

I had to press my lips together then to keep the strength of my smile at bay, his words making my heart swell. “You little charmer.” I chuckled, running a hand through his unruly locks, “Come on though, you’ve got a visitor.”

His eyes widened as he jumped back to rock onto the balls of his feet. “Mémé?” He asked excitedly and I almost felt bad about it not being her, but I knew how much Teddy had also grown to like Matty in the recent days so I wasn't too fussed.

I shook my head, “Not yet, soon though. But somebody else came to see you.”

Teddy’s eyebrows rose as he thought about who it could be and so, knowing that we could possibly be here all day, I started to steer him out into the hallway.

“Finny?” He asked, then, “Santa?”

I snorted, then shook my head to both. “Nope and no. Why don’t we just go see, hey?”

And with that I pushed the door to the living room open wider and watched on as Teddy gasped at the sight of the curly haired frontman standing by our settee.

“Matty!” He all but squealed, practically catapulting himself across the room to make a dive for the man.

Matty laughed, though also seemed startled by the reaction he’d garnered. He swept Teddy up though, all the same, and jostled him around before settling the toddler on his hip, eyes bright with something when they glanced over at me. I smiled, a heavy feeling settling itself in my chest.

“Alright, mate? What you been up to?” Matty asked Teddy, falling back onto the cushions behind them and stationing the toddler next to him.

Teddy replied in earnest, excited to tell Matty all the tales he had stored away since the last time they’d spoken, which had been a few nights previous over a FaceTime call.

I shook my head in amusement and trailed over towards the kitchen, silenting motioning to Matty to see if he wanted a drink. The answer, as always, was yes and so I set about brewing him his usual, along with my own, taking the time to clean myself up a bit too.

By the time I walked back in, Teddy had just about finished telling Matty all the details of his last day at nursery (they’d had a party), which I’m sure the man had already heard about, but who acted as though it was the most brilliant story he’d ever been told.

“One coffee.” I said in greeting, placing the two mugs onto coasters before taking a perch on the armchair by them.

“Ta.” Matty replied, grinning madly when Teddy cackled gleefully and repeated the word over and over. I rolled my eyes at the pair of them and took a calming sip of tea, unaware of how much I’d been in dire need of it. Whoever claimed Sunday’s were a day of rest, were liars.

“He spotted it yet then?” I asked aloud, already knowing the answer seeing as how I didn’t currently have a bouncing Teddy on my hands.

The toddler’s face wrinkled in confusion and he shot his head over to see me, I grinned from behind my mug. “Huh?” He sounded.

Matty hid his next snort well but then hummed too, pushing forward in his seat to grab at his coffee. “Oh his present, you mean?”

That had Teddy’s head spinning. “Where!”

“Manners, bubs.” I reminded, and Teddy nodded so quickly I was honestly a little worried about the whiplash he might face before his eyes were back on Matty.

“Please, present?” Teddy asked, pouting up at the curly haired man with a sudden urgency, his words butchered by his missing bottom teeth.

Matty chuckled, glad for the fact that he’d put his coffee back down in the toddler's haste, and then gestured his head over to the right. “You mean that one?”

Teddy’s eyes, if even possible, widened further, eyebrows reaching the tips of his curls and mouth dropping open as he finally spotted it.

“For me?” He gasped in awe, shuffling down Matty’s leg to approach it, all of his movements now slow as if his shock was stopping him from reacting typically.

I leaned forward to watch on and Matty did the same, obviously nervous for Teddy’s reaction.

“For you, mate. Was walking by this shop the other day and spotted it, thought of you.” Matty told him seriously, smiling too whilst he wrung his hands together, foot tapping anxiously away, though unaware of it.

Teddy looked back at him, chewing on his bottom lip carefully, taking two more steps before he was touching the wrapping. He oohed at it softly to himself but I caught the way Matty’s face brightened at the sound.

“‘pen now?” Teds asked, his eyes drifting away from the gift, towards me and Matty both.

Matty looked over at me then too, the same question echoed on his face. I nodded with a small smirk, “Go on.”

Teddy’s eyes lit up and he spun back around to marvel at it once more, “W’ats it?”

The snort that escaped me at his ask went unnoticed by the pair as Matty moved to join the toddler on the floor. “Gotta open it up and find out, I ‘spose.”

Teddy’s grin brightened and then he fell to his bum so that he could pull the present closer. “Help?”

Matty blinked at the request and I was witness to the way his throat bobbed before he nodded, “Yeah, sure mate. Here, pull this, alright?”

Teddy did as instructed, tugging on a small opening in the wrapping.

I noted as he began to tear away at it, how oddly wrapped it really was, meaning that Matty had probably taken the time to wrap it himself. My chest tightened again at the thought.

“Box.” Teddy announced once all the wrapping paper had been discarded on the rug behind him, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from outright laughing at the befuddled expression he gave Matty.

The man had no qualms though, simply chuckled at the question and leaned in closer to force one side of the cardboard box up a little, “Gotta open up that too, monster.”

Teddy’s brows drew together in concentration as he followed Matty’s lead, forcing the lid open more before a loud gasp escaped him. Matty went back to wringing his hands, fiddling with the rings on his fingers whilst I moved over to the settee to get a look too.

My expression faltered at the sight of the beautiful gift Matty had given Teddy. Inside the box rested a guitar in an incredible shade of deep blue, it was small enough for Teddy to hold whilst also being big enough for him to grow with. Even with my obsessive love for music, not once had I ever really thought about buying Teddy such a thing, not one of this calibre at least. It must've cost a fortune.

“Matty.” I whispered, but the man didn’t even spare a look my way, eyes trained on my toddler, trying to garner his reaction.

“You know what it is, mate?” He asked after a moment and Teddy’s little head dipped in a slow nod. Because I knew he knew, he danced around constantly pretending to have one in his hands whenever we had the tele or radio on. Where there was music blaring, there would also be a Teddy playing air guitar.

“‘tar.” Teddy stated in a soft voice, both Matty and I smiled at the way he said it, but the former nodded, pulling the instrument out of the box so that Teddy could get a closer look.

“Cool right?”

Teddy nodded silently again, reaching out a hand to carefully touch the wooden neck, blinking and reeling back when a string strummed. Before he then giggled and reached out once more.

Matty seemed to slump in relief, evidently glad that Teddy liked it. But I’d go as far to even say he adored it, never had he ever been so gentle with anything.

“Have you got something to say to Matty, Teds?” I prompted, ignoring the way my throat caught at the emotion I felt. I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it.

Teddy pulled his eyes away from the guitar to gaze up at Matty as though he was something other. I merely blinked at the reaction and before I knew it Teddy had thrown himself into Matty’s arms, startling the man a tad. Matty welcomed him after a second though, glancing over the toddler’s head to share a look with me.

“T’ank you.” I heard Teddy muffle into the collar of Matty’s jumper then, actually saying the words this time. It seemed Matty knew what that meant too, because he tightened his hold on Teddy’s waist a little.

“You’re welcome, mate.”

The rest of Matty’s visit was used to teach Teddy a bit about the basics of a guitar, managing to play an E minor and get started on an A chord. Teddy listened to Matty with rapt attention, barely sparing anything else a second glance, which was startling for a toddler, let alone Teddy who was constantly go, go, go.

Watching them was all too lovely as well. For someone with such a cool front, Matty seemed to melt around Teddy, succumbing to that of the boy’s charm and easy going nature. It was sweet to see, surprising but endlessly sweet. Had me losing track of time, in truth. Which is why I jumped and cursed the way I did when the door finally knocked.

“Mémé!”

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a-aexotic · 5 months

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𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, chapter 5

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ! 4.6k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ! typical gossip girl things, mention of drinking, FIGHTING!!!! (so much of it), making up ;)

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You sat next to Charlene at the dining table, listening to Josie talk about the nursery for the new baby. You nodded along mindlessly, playing with your cereal as your mind raced.

Thoughts of Serena, Blair, Nate, and the tangled web of relationships swirled in your mind, each thread pulling you in a different direction. You felt torn between loyalty to your friends, the desire to maintain peace, and the need to address the underlying issues that had driven a wedge between you all. Lost in your thoughts, you absently stirred your cereal, the clinking of the spoon against the bowl serving as a distant echo in the sea of your racing thoughts.

"Y/N, did you hear me?" Your father spoke as you startled, snapping back to the present moment. You looked up, meeting your father's expectant gaze as he repeated his question.

"Sorry, Dad, what were you saying?" you asked, attempting to mask your distraction with a faint smile.

"I was asking you when the Ivy mixer is. I wanted to come by and help everyone out, I know Lily is in charge of it but I can't get a hold of her." Your father explained as he bit into his toast.

You nodded, recalling the details of the upcoming Ivy mixer. "Oh, right. I think we're finding out today at the assembly. I can double-check with Lily to make sure everything's on track, and I'll let you know if she needs any help."

"Thanks, Y/N. I appreciate it. It's always chaotic trying to organize these events." Your dad chuckled as he chewed, moving his gaze back to Charlene. "And uh... for the mixer, Josie was hoping that you'd stick with Charlene and help her get some networking done with the reps. She wants to go to Harvard, like you."

You glanced at Charlene with a faint smile but she ignored you, nodding along to what your father was saying. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"My two daughters at Harvard would be a dream." Your father grinned proudly and again, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

She's not your daughter, you wanted to shout but you bit your tongue and took a bite of your now, soggy cereal.

──౨ৎ──

"And then he was all like, having my two daughters at Harvard would be a dream." You mocked your father as you walked out of the assembly, Blair walking next to you as she scoffed, Kati and Isabel walking close behind you two. "And I wanted to say that she isn't his actual daughter but I didn't."

"You should've. I would pay to see his reaction." Blair smirked as you laughed, nodding along before Blair's expression dropped. She rolled her eyes and you turned to see where she was facing, finding Serena walking toward you. She was late, she wasn't at the assembly.

"Oh, too bad you missed the assembly." Blair feigned sympathy as she looked up at the blonde. "Brown doesn't offer degrees in slut," she continued with an amused expression as Serena offered her a sarcastic smile.

Blair walked away with a proud grin, leaving you and Serena alone. You and Serena both exchanged glances before bursting out laughing. It was supposed to be an insult but you both couldn't help but laugh.

As the laughter subsided, Serena shook her head, a smile still playing on her lips. "Leave it to Blair to come up with the most creative insults."

"Yeah, she definitely has a way with words," you replied, still chuckling as you glanced back at Blair, who was now chatting with Kati and Isabel.

Serena's smile faded slightly as she looked back at you, her expression turning more serious. "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something about yesterday."

You waved it off, giving her a smile. "I'm sorry I blew up on everyone, I was just stressed out. And don't worry about it, okay? I'm sure Dan will come around."

Serena gave you a sad smile before shrugging. "I... I don't think so but maybe it's for the best. Dan doesn't wanna get involved in all this Upper-East Side bullshit and I don't blame him."

You gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, S."

Serena nodded, her gaze dropping slightly as she played with the edge of her sleeve. "Thanks, Y/N. It's just been a lot to deal with lately."

You reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder in a comforting gesture. "I understand. But hey, you've always been resilient. You'll get through this too."

Serena offered you a small, appreciative smile before straightening up, determination shining in her eyes. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Y/N."

But before you could reply, you heard Blair's voice ringing in your ear. "Y/N, hurry up we need to get to class." You couldn't help but roll your eyes as you quickly said bye to Serena, catching up with Blair and beginning to walk to class together.

The group was split up into two as you played field hockey. It was all fine up until Blair decided to keep targeting Serena and fouling her. Blair's aggressive targeting of Serena didn't go unnoticed, and it soon became clear that her fouls were deliberate attempts to hurt her.

"Blair, ease up!" you called out, frustration evident in your voice as you gestured for her to back off.

Blair shot you a defiant glare but made no move to change her tactics. Serena, on the other hand, remained composed despite the mounting pressure, refusing to let Blair's antics get to her.

"Enough, Blair!" Serena's voice cut through the tension, her tone firm as she finally stood up to Blair's relentless targeting.

"It's enough when I say it's enough." Blair snapped as she walked away, making sure to hit Serena's shoulder as she did. You and Serena exchanged looks before you sighed, continuing to focus on the game.

And finally, Serena had enough. She ran up to Blair, tackling her to the ground. Serena got on top of her and began pulling her arms as you ran up behind them, irritation on your face as you tried to break them up.

"Get off of me!" Blair shouted as Serena kept pulling on her arms. You tried to get her off of Blair to no use.

"Serena, stop!" you shouted, your voice strained as you attempted to pry her off Blair. But Serena was relentless, her anger driving her actions as she continued to grapple with Blair.

"Is that enough yet?!" Serena shouted back before she accidentally pulled you down with them, earning a grunt from you. She scoffed and got up, but not before Blair could get up. "So it's actually come to physical blows, huh?"

"Guys, what the hell?!" you exclaimed, your voice tinged with anger as you pushed yourself up from the ground, feeling the ache from the fall. "This isn't helping anyone!"

But Serena seemed oblivious to your words, her attention solely focused on Blair as she stood there, seething with rage. "You think you can just keep targeting me like this and get away with it? Well, not anymore!"

"Serena, Blair, this needs to stop," you said firmly, your voice cutting through the tension. "Jesus Christ, I mean we're friends, or at least we used to be."

Serena turned to face you, her expression still flushed with anger. "She started it, Y/N. She's been targeting me ever since-"

"I don't care who started it!" you interjected, your voice tinged with exasperation.

Serena looked back at Blair with a little bit of hesitation, sighing before speaking up. "Fine. Truce?"

Blair glared back at you and Serena before her expression turned to pained, a slight smirk on her face as she does so. "Ow! My leg!"

You couldn't believe it. Blair was faking an injury to deflect from the tension of the moment. It was a classic Blair move, but it only served to frustrate you further. You exchanged a bewildered glance with Serena, both of you realizing that Blair was resorting to her usual tactics to cause more issues.

"Blair, come on," you said, your voice tinged with irritation.

Blair winced dramatically, clutching her leg as she looked up at you with wide, innocent eyes. "I'm not faking it, Y/N! It really hurts!" Kati and Isbell ran to her side, helping her stand up as you glared back at her.

"Serena, you're outta here." The coach shouted as Serena walked off, throwing her hockey stick to the ground.

"I hope it's broken." Serena spat as she walked off the field.

You rolled your eyes as you watched Kati and Isbell help walk Blair to the nurse's office. You hated being in between them but they were your best friends, it's just what you have to do. It's part of the job but you were beginning to wonder if all of this was really worth it.

──౨ৎ──

You walked into the Ivy Mixer behind your father and Charlene, who was wearing a Harvard sweater; the same one that your father had also gotten you when you were younger. Your father seemed proud, chatting animatedly with Charlene about the opportunities awaiting her at Harvard.

You glanced around the room, taking in the prestigious Ivy League representatives mingling with students. Despite the elegance of the occasion, you couldn't shake off the tension that had been building within you since the recent conflicts with Blair and Serena.

Your father guided you and Charlene through the crowd, introducing her to some of the representatives and encouraging her to network and make connections. You watched as Charlene navigated the room with ease, her confidence shining through as she conversed with the representatives.

Meanwhile, you couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place. While you had once dreamed of attending Harvard, recent events had left you questioning everything. Did you even want to go to Harvard now apparently, Charlene had to attend too?

"And my daughter, Y/N is the Student Council president of the school. She is also second in her class." Her father spoke as you nodded along, shaking the hand of one of the Harvard reps.

You had worked hard to earn your position as Student Council president and to maintain a high academic standing, but now it all felt hollow. The pressure to live up to your father's expectations, to uphold the family reputation, felt suffocating. And now, with Charlene also vying for a spot at Harvard, it only added to the weight on your shoulders.

"I see you're running low on champagne, would you like me to find you another glass, sir?" You asked politely, offering to assist the Harvard representative in replenishing his drink.

The representative nodded appreciatively, offering you a grateful smile. "Yes, thank you. That would be lovely."

You excused yourself from the conversation with a polite nod and made your way to the refreshments table, your mind still consumed with conflicting thoughts.

You looked up to meet the eyes of Dan, a polite smile on your lips. You didn't know him well but you still felt gulity about the whole Serena and brunch thing, oh and the whole thing with Chuck and Jenny. The poor guy can't catch a break.

"Hey, Dan," you greeted him, setting down the champagne bottle. "I thought you were the Dartmouth usher?"

Dan returned your smile, though there was a hint of hesitation in his expression. "No, Nate is. I thought... actually never mind."

"I know. You deserved to get that position." You whispered as he nodded sheepishly.

Dan's expression softened at your words, a grateful smile tugging at his lips. "Thanks, Y/N. I appreciate that."

You saw his gaze wander to behind you, you turned around to meet Serena's blue eyes. She walked toward the table, irritation on her face.

"Let me guess, Blair?" You asked and pretended to be shocked when she nodded, Dan letting out a soft chuckle. "Would've never guessed. What did she do?"

"Well, you know how I wanted to go to Brown. And she wanted to go Yale? Well now, somehow, we switched. She's talking to the stupid Brown reps and I'm stuck with the Yale reps." Serena explained as you and Dan exchanged looks.

"Oh, yeah. I get it. I mean since you don't actually have to worry about getting into college, why not make the whole evening about screwing over Blair?" Dan spoke sarcastically as he tried to hand her a drink.

You looked in between them, concern etching your features. Dan seems pretty bitter about the whole thing but you couldn't even blame. And as if things couldn't get even more awkward, Nate walked up to the table, looking at the refreshments.

"Hey." Serena turned to greet Nate, only to be completely ignored. You couldn't help but stifle a laugh as you took a sip of your drink, watching the whole thing.

"Wait, you're seriously not gonna talk to me? Like literally not speak?" Serena's voice held a mixture of disbelief and frustration as she looked at Nate, who remained silent, his gaze fixed on the refreshments.

Nate finally looked up, his expression unreadable as he met Serena's gaze. "Hey."

"Oh, much better. Thanks guys." She sighed, looking in between the boys before looking back at you. You gave her a sympathetic smile before she gives you a thumbs up, walking away.

"That was cold, Nate." You spoke, slightly amusement in your voice as you finally began refilling the champagne.

He glared back at you and you put your hands up in mock surrender as you exchanged a glance with Dan, who looked like he was enjoying the scene. Silence settled in between them before Dan spoke up.

"So, um... what's he like?" Dan asked, referring to the Dartmouth rep.

"Like a Dartmouth English lit professor I have nothing in common with. Guess I could tell him how I got everything because I'm an Archibald." Nate rambled slightly as Dan's expression turned from amused to sympathetic. You took that as your cue to leave, nodding your head to Dan as you walked away.

You put all the drama in the back-burner for the night, deciding to just engage with the Harvard rep. You were slightly glad to see that Charlene began talking more to the Princeton rep, allowing you to focus on your conversation without distractions.

You couldn't help but keep looking through the glass door, watching Nate as he talked with Dan. You noticed when he walked away and when his father tried to pull him back, but he pushed him away. It looked tense but you couldn't afford to get distracted, you just focused on talking with the Harvard rep.

You thought the rest of the evening would go smoothly up until you and Blair got up to announce this year's local institution they were going to sponsor.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" Blair spoke as she walked up toward the podium, a polite smile plastered on her lips as you followed close behind. "Welcome again to the Constance Billard St Judas Ivy Week Mixer. I'm Blair Waldorf, chair of the the community outreach committee."

You plastered on a polite smile as well. "And I'm Y/N Winfrey, Student Council President."

The crowd began to clap before you continued. "Every year, our schools choose to support one local institution that we feel benefits our community."

"This year, our schools have chosen to honor the Osteroff Center." Blair continued as the crowd applauds. "This semester our choice is a very personal one because the center has helped one of our own."

Your expression suddenly turns to a confused one as you turned to face Blair. This was what she was not what we planned to say. Your eyes scanned the crowd and they fell on Serena and her family and it suddenly dawned on you.

"It's because of their excellent program which aids so many young addicts and alcoholics that a student here with us today is clean and sober." Blair spoke, feigning concern. "At least for now. Can I please have Serena van der Woodsen join us on stage?"

Your jaw dropped but you tried to keep your composure. You couldn't believe Blair. Serena slowly walked up to the stage and glared at Blair, not even acknowledging you.

"Don't try to deny it, Chuck saw you." Blair whispered as you tried to keep a smile on your face, trying to hide the inner panic you feel at the moment. Blair pulls you aside, making sure that Serena is the main focus as the crowd begins to clap.

"Hi, I'm Serena van der Woodsen. I just want to thank my friend Blair Waldorf for recognizing the Osteroff center and all the good things they do. Thanks Blair. Oh, and of course our president, Y/N." Serena puts on a fake smile as she begins to clap, the crowd clapping along.

"At the center, one of the main things that we learn is forgiveness. About how in order to move forward with our future we must forgive those who have wronged us in the past. And we must ourselves ask for forgiveness from those whom we've wronged. Without this forgiveness, innocent people-"

"Alright, thank you Serena. Thank you." She cut her off with a smile as the crowd claps again, Serena walking off the stage. You gave her a sympathetic smile as she walks away, making sure to push Blair slightly so that the crowd could focus on you again.

With a forced smile plastered on your face, you stepped forward to address the crowd once again, trying to regain control of the situation. "Thank you, Serena, for sharing your story with us. And thank you, Blair, for your efforts in organizing this event."

You took a deep breath, pushing down the rising frustration within you. "As Serena mentioned, forgiveness is indeed a very important aspect of moving forward. And tonight, let's remember the importance of supporting each other, even in times of adversity."

The crowd responded with polite applause, but you could sense the tension lingering in the air. But before you could even address Blair, she walked off the stage.

You ran after her, pulling on her arm. "Blair, that was a low blow, even for you."

As you pulled on Blair's arm, she turned to face you, her expression unapologetic. "Oh, please. It's not like I said anything that wasn't true."

But you held on, your frustration bubbling to the surface. "No, Blair, I won't let you brush this off. What you did to Serena was cruel and unnecessary. You publicly humiliated her in front of everyone. And not just anyone, college reps! That is insane."

Before Blair could respond, Serena came up to her with a tired expression. "What the hell was that? So we good now? We square?"

"No because nothing I do will ever be as bad as what you did to me." Blair spat as she glared up at Serena.

"Look, I'm asking you, please. I'll stop if you will." Serena's voice was hurt as she looked down at the brunette.

"You're just saying that because today, you lost. And you're gonna keep losing." Blair's voice was sharp with bitterness as she glared up at Serena.

Before Serena could respond, you let out a groan as you looked in between your best friends. "I'm done with both of you. Are you serious right now? You are acting like a child, Blair. You have no idea what you did up there, it wasn't even Serena-"

"Y/N, stop. No." Serena stopped you before you could continue.

"Why do I even bother, I'm done. I am done with the petty drama and catfights," you exclaimed, frustration evident in your voice as you turned away from Blair and Serena.

Serena reached out, grabbing your arm gently to stop you from walking away. "Y/N, wait."

You pulled your arm out of her grip and walked away and out of the mixer, you were calling it a night.

"Even Y/N's done with your bullshit, Serena." You heard Blair scoff as you walked off. You didn't even know where you running off to until you were there.

You were in the back of building and you saw Nate sitting on the bench, a blunt placed perfectly on his lips as he took a drag. You knew exactly where to find him. He looked up and noticed you, taking him by surprise.

You didn't say anything, all you did was sit next to Nate on the bench as you put your face in yours hands. You looked up at Nate and he gave you a faint smile before handing you the blunt.

You took a deep drag and you felt your lungs burn up. It had been a while since you'd swore off smoking but you needed, especially after the day you had. And apparently, so does Nate.

As you sat there next to Nate, passing the blunt between you, a heavy silence settled over the both of you. It was a strange comfort, finding solace in each other's company amidst the chaos of your lives.

Eventually, Nate broke the silence, his voice soft. "You okay?"

You let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head as the smoke swirled around the two of you. "Not really."

Nate nodded in understanding, his gaze fixed on you. "Yeah, me neither."

"What's got you all stressed out?" You spoke, leaning back on the bench as you looked back at him.

"My dad." He replied and you weren't surprised. "He wants me to go to Dartmouth and I keep telling him I wanna keep my options open. But he just ignores it. And now he's making me stay with Blair because of-" He paused as his eyes widen, realizing he's revealed too much.

You shake your head, urging him to continue. "I won't tell."

"He said I can't break up with Blair yet because he needs the Waldorfs on his good side because of business." Nate's voice trailed off, his frustration evident in his expression. "It's just... everything feels so out of my control, you know? Like I'm being pulled in all these different directions, and I don't know which way to go."

You listened quietly, understanding all too well the weight of family expectations and the pressure to please others. "That's... messed up," you muttered, unable to hide the concern in your voice. "Your dad shouldn't be pulling strings like that, especially when it comes to your personal life."

Nate let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "Yeah, tell me about it. But what can I do? He's not gonna listen to me."

You nodded in understanding, knowing all too well the weight of familial expectations. "It's tough, but you'll figure it out. I know you will."

He returned your smile, a glimmer of gratitude in his eyes. "So what's going on with you? I thought you gave up smoking."

"I could say the same for you, Archibald." You teased as he let out a little chuckle, his falling back but his gaze still fixed on you. "It's a long... long story. I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Let me take a guess," Nate sat up and turned to face you fully. "You feel like you're constantly being pushed and pulled between Serena and Blair. And the whole daddy issues thing hasn't fixed itself either."

Your eyebrows furrowed at Nate's very true statements. Could he really read you that well or was it really that obvious? You were speechless for a second as Nate let out another laugh.

"I've known you since we were kids, Y/N. I can read you better than anyone else. And plus, it isn't anything new. Serena and Blair have always fought and you've always been in the middle." Nate's words hit home, and you couldn't deny the truth in them. He had always been perceptive, able to see through the facade you sometimes put up for others.

"Yeah, you're right," you admitted with a sigh, running a hand through your hair. "It's just exhausting, you know? Trying to keep the peace between them while dealing with my own issues. Trying to keep everyone happy while feeling like I'm constantly being torn apart. And now with my dad pressuring me about college while also replacing me with Charlene."

Nate listened attentively, his expression sympathetic. "I get it, Y/N. It's a lot to handle. But just know that you're not alone in this. I'm here for you, always."

You looked back at him, a sudden surge of gratefulness hitting you. And suddenly, gulit hit you like a ton of bricks. The whole thing with Serena and Nate, you completely shut him out. You let out an exhale, not really knowing what to even say.

"I'm sorry, Nate."

"Why are you sorry?" He muttered as he looked back at you, concern evident in his features. "I should be the one apologizing. I've been an asshole."

"And I've been a bitch." You replied as you both smiled. You both laughed softly as Nate shook his head.

"It doesn't have to be complicated, you know?" Nate started, his voice soft as he looked at you with sincerity in his eyes. "We've been through a lot together, and I don't want things to be so hard between us."

You sighed, not really knowing what to say.

"Look I meant what I said at the Kiss on the Lips party, I'll forget about my feelings if it means we get to stay friends." Nate whispered as he looked back you, his voice gentle.

"But what if-"

"There's a million what if's, Y/N. And they don't matter." Nate spoke, coming off harsher than expected. "The whole honest truth is the last six months you've been gone have been hell. I have no one who I can be honest with and-and no one I can call at 3 in the morning because I can't sleep. No one I can genuinely depend on to listen to me."

You felt a pang of guilt at Nate's words, realizing the impact your absence had on him. "I'm sorry, Nate. I didn't realize..."

"It doesn't matter, I just want you in my life." Nate's gaze softened as he reached out to squeeze your hand reassuringly. "And we'll stay completely platonic because that's what you wanted, right?"

No. You wanted to shout no but as you thought about Blair and the million other things keep you guys apart, all you do was nod. "Right."

A smile began curving on his lips as he let out a relieved sigh. "Then it's settled."

You smiled back at your best friend. "It's settled."

You guys both gazed at one another for a few more seconds before he spoke up. "We should shake on it. You know, our handshake."

You let out a laugh as you suddenly remember your guys' secret handshake. It had been a while but how could you forget it?

With practiced ease, you and Nate stuck out your hands and intertwined your fingers, executing the series of moves that made up your secret handshake. As you finished, you both laughed again, feeling a sense of normalcy wash over you.

As you finished the handshake, Nate gave you a playful nudge. "See? Nothing's changed between us."

"Nothing at all," you agreed, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.

You both sat there in silence for a while longer, the weight of the evening fading slowly. In that moment, sitting there with Nate, you felt a sense of peace wash over you. Maybe things would be okay, eventually.

Or maybe they wouldn't. But for now, you had each other, and that was enough.

#gossip girl #nate archibald #nate archibald x reader #blair waldorf #chuck bass #gossip girl x reader #gossip girl x you #nate archibald x you #dan humphrey #georgina sparks #chuck x blair #serena van der woodsen #serena van der woodsen x reader #chuck bass x reader

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lilacxquartz · 5 months

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Those Late Summer Nights | Chapter 4

Satoru Gojo × Fem Reader × Suguru Geto

This is a dark yandere fic that features upsetting themes and it is canon divergent. Updated every Wednesday.

ABOUT: You moved to Tokyo over the summer to take a teaching job. As you get settled in, you find yourself entangled in a toxic dynamic.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Suguru has an unavoidable family event to go to, Shoko is needed for inner city training and Satoru was busy with clan related activities. As a result, you’re the next in line.

TRIGGER WARNING: Your boundaries get pushed. Suguru gets too touchy and feely.

SIDE NOTE: Reminder, this is canon divergent, so his family is still around.

< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >

4. Plus One.

You blinked as you stared at Suguru.

He wanted to meet up with you today while everyone else was busy, not explaining much over the phone call prior. This was the first time you had been to anyone else’s apartment that wasn’t Shoko’s and his place seemed oddly fitting for someone like him. Minimally yet tastefully decorated and tidy with warm accents.

“A platonic date…?” you repeated it, hoping that it would sound less absurd the second time around but it only became weirder the more you processed it—especially when you were the one who said it.

He explained that he wanted you to be his plus one for a family event because nobody else was available for night. He could have taken someone random he said, but he wanted to be around someone he could both tolerate and trust not to embarrass him in front of his family.

So that’s why he couldn’t just find someone random, he claimed.

You weren’t sure if this type of request was common among friends but you tried your best to be understanding about it. Friends did favours for friends, right? So maybe this was normal.

“For a family gathering type of event, yeah,” he nodded along, throwing you a piece of black clothing, “you can wear this, Shoko wore it the last time she stood in for this sort of thing.”

You scrambled as you looked at the dress in its entirety; a midi length black dress in a soft and breathable fabric with a slit down the skirting, sporting a square neckline.

You could see this looking great on her but you couldn’t imagine it on you. Maybe it would? Who really knows.

“It’s nothing serious, I promise,” he said once again, talking you into it, his voice melodic and yet so casual, “it’s just some family thing I can’t avoid so I would rather not go alone, you know? It’s regular people so you won’t have to talk about sorcerer stuff, if that makes it less scary for you.”

It did make the prospect less scary, he was correct about that much. His eyes focused on the dress as you seemed to consider it and then a little on you, something in his face lighting up just a little bit as the seconds passed but whatever it was, he didn’t comment on it out loud.

“I suppose I could…” you considered, feeling just a bit pressured. You knew already that you wouldn’t do too well in new social situations, but you also wanted to be someone that your new friend group could rely on.

Or would that only make you into a pushover?

Was that why he asked you to begin with, so early on into knowing you? To see if that’s what you potentially were?

Your mind stirred at the thought.

It certainly felt that way at least, the longer he continued to stare at you with those almost knowing eyes. There was something about him that you couldn’t quite read too well.

“Perfect. I’ll pick you up from the halls at let’s say… 6 in the evening tomorrow?” Suguru replied as he walked you out of the front door. “Wear something comfortable on your feet though, there’s a lot of standing involved.”

You stared at the now closed door with some further disbelief, sighing at the idea. You spent an extra half hour getting lost on your way here and you were already being turned away so soon.

You didn’t really want to do this but you didn’t want to be a disappointment either.

You texted Shoko on your way back to the campus as had to take the bus to get back there as it was quite out of the way of the city. You wondered if it would just be easier to live in the city, the commute be damned but you’d be closer to everyone else.

You asked her how to possibly get through this thing, how to interact with his family and why it had to involve wearing something so formal.

Her texts came back as a chaotic stream of broken down replies but you were able to piece them together bit by bit. As far as you understood it, all you needed to do was smile and nod, laugh at the jokes told by his family no matter how bad they are and to help yourself to the complimentary booze provided in the kitchen.

Maybe you could get through this after all.

You surrendered to this sort of idea as you texted back and forth what you actually needed to be doing and by the time you were back on the campus, the idea didn’t seem too bad after all.

This was just something he did with friends, just as you suspected.

He just didn’t want to be alone for something potentially boring, maybe even daunting and that was something you could understand.

***

You were ready by 6 the next day just as you had promised you would be. You slipped into the dress relatively quickly and styled your hair to rest a little better on your shoulders. You decided to accessorise the dress with a simple silver necklace to make it look less plain and wore some flat black sandals to finish off the look, figuring they would be comfortable enough.

There was then a knock on the front door not too long after and you opened it up, revealing a slightly more dressed up Suguru who looked good in what he wore.

You could admit that much, but you didn’t dare tell him. Would it be weird if you did?

You both eyed each other up before anything was said. He wore black slacks and a form fitting black jumper with his hair pulled back. It all looked a little too much for the weather, but his sleeves were rolled up and he didn’t seem to be dying from the heat.

He took a good look at you but didn’t say anything, leaving you both thankful that he didn’t comment on your appearance but also a little nervous all at the same time.

“Don’t you get scared living in a place like this all alone?” he asked after a moment as he took a look around, his eyes scanning the halls with some familiarity in this gaze.

“It’s not that bad,” you shrugged, unsure how to reply. Your expression slowly grew nervous, overthinking his comment.

“You know, Shoko might be quiet about it, but she is looking for a roommate,” he said after a strained moment of silence.

You liked that idea though. You wanted to live with someone in a way, both for reassurance but also because you genuinely wanted to be her good friend.

“I can think about it…” you added after another moment of pause, realising that you didn’t quite reply immediately. You were too lost in thought.

In fact, the silence between the two of you only continued to brew. You were both too reserved without the two other people who would otherwise fill in the gaps that were vacant from your presence.

“Anyway,” he spoke up at last, clearing his throat as he did so, avoiding staring at your body as his eyes couldn’t help but trail over to the way you wore the dress again and again, “I’ll be driving us there, so just follow me.”

He let you into his car which was conveniently to his style as well, a sleek black car that seemed to be a semi recent model. The drive happened in relative silence aside from what played in the background as the road gradually grew slowly darker, but not quite night as the sun began to set. He listened to chill house music that idly played, not seeming too bothered by the mutual quietness.

You felt his eyes wander back and forth to your body as you tried to pay attention to the outside, catching a glimpse of him staring in the reflection every now and then. Such a feeling left you feeling just a little uncomfortable whenever he would do so and the fact that he never once said anything only added to the tension that you didn’t even know was there.

At some point, he pulled over to a less travelled spot where the cars didn’t pass by as much, right beside some trees. He fanned his fingers and his palms over the steering wheel before taking a deep, sharp breath before exhaling through his mouth in a controlled manner.

His closest hand drifted away from the wheel as if by pure impulse and off towards you, balling into a fist as he seemed internally conflicted with something before returning his hands back to where they were supposed to be.

You kept incredibly quiet throughout this encounter, unsure where it was going and not feeling too safe as it happened.

“Sorry about that,” he said after a while of sitting in silence with you. His eyes didn’t dare move to look at you as he took a few more deep breaths to calm himself down from whatever it was that was bothering him before driving off again.

“I just had a thought that I shouldn’t have had,” he muttered to himself, just loud enough so that you could hear him too.

You didn’t reply anything to him, but you did gulp somehow absurdly loud as the discomfort on your end finally made a more noticeable appearance.

What was that?

For your own sanity, you chose to ignore it for the rest of the ride, (but you knew that you shouldn’t have).

***

He finally pulled up to a house in the countryside off of a more beaten road. Many other cars were parked in a array of chaotic ways around each other, some cars locking others in. The house reminded you a little bit of home, but that sort of design wasn’t really that uncommon in areas like these and especially with older builds.

“You’ll be fine,” he spoke up, his voice finally normal again, “most people are from a bit further out into the country.”

He was glad in a way that he didn’t have to educate you on the correct mannerisms the same way he had to do with Shoko, but he didn’t say it to you directly.

He led you out of the car instead and introduced you to the people inside. You tried your best to follow Shoko’s guidance rather seriously, smiling and laughing and nodding, subconsciously drifting to the table that had refreshments as you sought out liquid courage to ease the social pressure.

You weren’t doing too badly you thought, but your heart raced the entire time, gradually being replaced with a heavier sort of feeling as the wine settled in your system and relaxed you.

Slowly but surely, you could get through this.

Suguru stuck closely by you to your surprise, you were expecting him to do his own thing for some reason.

The reality was that he was still feeling what he did back in the car when things got a little too heated for him and he didn’t like that sensation nor what it did to him. There was something about you in that dress and the way that it sat just a little tighter on you than it did on Shoko; your body filling it out in all of the right ways that made him see you in a way he shouldn’t be looking at you.

At least not if he wanted to keep your friendship.

You didn’t notice the male attention on you like he did, so he was just being protective of his friend in a new setting, that was it. Nothing more. But with the way his own relatives looked at you, he couldn’t help but just feel a little jealous—not that he had any right to feel that way, of course, but it did trouble him all the same.

You, on the other hand, didn’t notice a thing aside from the fact that you were just being closely watched though, thinking that this was all just a part of his intense personality. You didn’t know that he was actually quite a relaxed person, not too far off from Satoru when he was around his friends, that he was equally casual and non-caring, but that wasn’t the side of him that you were getting to know.

And as the gathering seemed to eventually thin out, he didn’t quite know why he took off with you in such a hurry either, without as much as saying a single goodbye to the rest of his family. It was just you and him, straight into the car with even more silence that followed you both on the way back.

This time though, he drove faster down the road once he got onto the freeway, not quite caring about the speed. The veins on his forearms were beginning to tighten as his knuckles that firmly gripped onto the wheel grew pale, driving off somewhere that didn’t quite seem like you were going home before he pulled over once again to the side.

The same sort of thing repeated as before; the breathing exercises and the internal struggle and the tension to top it all off. He really tried his best to talk himself out of it but surrendered this time to crossing the barrier of where you two sat, his hand spilling into your half of the car and his hand meeting your knee, wrapping around your leg where the dress didn’t reach.

His grip around you continued to tighten as he enjoyed the sensation of your soft, smooth skin as he slowly brushed it up, reaching just the edge of the skirting to your dress, so close to your thighs, so close to your—your—wait.

“Please stop,” you interrupted him, causing him to freeze in place.

His eyes widened as he realised what he was doing and he kept frozen in place for about ten painful seconds or so before lifting his hand away in a sudden hurry—quickly gulping down what he actually wanted to say.

From your peripheral vision, it seemed that he was acting based on a different type of thinking entirely as he stayed silent, his hand drifting over to his trousers as his legs pushed him up a little, quickly adjusting what was going on in his pants to ease the problem he had.

Luckily for him though, you didn’t notice that part too well, your eyes instead pointed directly at your legs instead as you tried to process your own discomfort.

The rest of the drive continued on in pained silence until you both got out at the campus and much to your building up concern, he followed you right to the door, but he didn’t seem to be pressuring you anymore. In fact, he seemed normal again.

“Hey, so, I’m really tired, I don’t think I can drive again,” he spoke, stretching his arms out as he yawned, “think I can take the hall sofa? I’ll be out of your way right where you can see me, I promise I won’t do anything again. I don’t know what I was even thinking.”

Your judgement was a little off but you could still feel the buzz from the drinks before at the event cloud your judgement. You sighed and allowed it before heading off to your room to process everything that had happened today.

If you could both simply forget what happened, then that would be great.

Something told you that it wasn’t quite the end of that, though.

And with the way his eyes couldn’t keep off of you as he followed you inside, your hunch was about to be proven correct—not that he’d let you catch on, though.

He was going to be subtle about it, if he could help it.

Just for you.

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ronwestbreeze · 2 years

Text

TO YOU , WORLDS AWAY : PART TWO : CHAPTER TWELVE

pairing: jake sully x fem!reader

summary: in which it is the year 2159

word count: 2.4k

author's note: hello hello! TYWA part two has arrived! now updating is going to be a bit different for this. i'm thinking posting each chapter once a week will be what I will do from here on out that way I can have time to write future chapters whilst you all read the one's I have already written! just remember, don't demand me to post, it doesn't help with motivation or make me want to keep writing it! anyways, thank you for the patience! and without further ado, part two!

AO3 | prev | next

“I keep having these dreams. About this girl. Every time I saw her, it felt like I knew her for years. Like she was my best friend in the whole world. And I couldn’t imagine a life without her.”

“Tell me about these dreams.”

“Well…they always start with fire and…”

“What’s wrong? Baby girl, what is it?”

“You’ll think I’m weird, Daddy.”

“I won’t, I won’t. I promise.”

“When I wake up, I’m sad. Like I’ve lost someone. And it feels so heavy…Daddy, I hate it!”

“Sssh, ssh, it’s okay, it’s okay. I’ve got you, alright? I’ve got you.”

“I miss her, Daddy. I miss her so much.”

“Miss who, baby girl?”

“That’s the thing. I don’t even know her name…”

Year 2159

It had been five years since the RDA were exiled off of Pandora and Dr. Chloe Parker was still trying to find her footing on this planet.

Before the battle, she had been well into the late Dr. Augustine’s Avatar Program. Trained and studied learning to control her own avatar and then using her time to explore all of Pandora’s plants and herbs. And it was interesting, learning about all the medicines here, the potential use for them.

Then the battle at the Tree of Souls happened. Killing dozens of wildlife, many humans and Na’vi alike. It was a sad day to say the least. But after Jake Sully took over as the clan leader for the Omatikaya Clan and exiled the RDA off of Pandora, things began to change for the better.

Dr. Chloe had been one of the humans allowed to stay on Pandora, mostly because she didn’t contribute to the war that struck the planet and because Dr. Max Patel vouched for her and some of the other scientists and avatar volunteers. Now she had spent her time continuing to explore all of Pandora, working with the Na’vi in different clans to study their ways of medicine and perhaps teach them some of the stuff humans do, even though she knew they would probably never use it.

For the past few months, Dr. Chloe, and her small research team, took their avatars and their next journey to the Olangi Clan. A very nomadic clan that worked very closely with the Omatikaya so their home wasn’t too far from the former’s. Their clan leader, Akwey, had allowed them to stay and start their research there as long as they didn’t pose a threat to his people and were respectful of the lands and their ways. Which wasn't a difficult task, especially when there were no more military men flanking the planet anymore.

But as of recently, Dr. Chloe had been requested to retrieve the Tsahik of the Omatikaya Clan, Mo’at since the Olangi’s Tsahik had died in the battle against the RDA. So, instead of researching like the rest of her team, she had been made into a messenger, going back and forth from each clan speaking of something called Eywa…Dr. Chloe wasn’t really too spiritual to care much of who this Eywa was. But if it made the people happy and content, and kept them from shutting down her research, then Dr. Chloe would take one for the team for now.

On the other hand, she wasn’t entirely too comfortable leaving her very first patient alone so much. A patient very important to her research.

When Dr. Chloe found Mo’at, she was with her daughter, Neytiri if she could recall correctly. Dr. Chloe never really had a conversation with the woman—mostly because of her obvious distaste of Dr. Chloe’s presence—and today was no different. Once she arrived in her avatar form, Neytiri hissed and walked away. One of her children, a young boy, followed after her closely.

“Why has Akwey sent you now, Chloeparker?” Mo’at greeted her while crushing up what looked like herbs in a small wooden bowl. Dr. Chloe’s Na’vi wasn’t perfect but she could understand a lot of it after years of listening to both Dr. Augustine and the people talk expertly in it.

“An elder died yesterday.” Dr. Chloe informed her, stuffing her hands into her shorts. “Akwey wishes for you to perform the ceremony.”

Mo’at hummed, not looking up from her work. “One day, he will have to come to my daughter as she will be the next Tsahik of the People. And I will finally rest.”

“Let’s hope that day isn’t soon then.” Dr. Chloe commented with a thin smile. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your daughter doesn’t seem to like me much.”

“You are Sky People. Of course she doesn't like you.” Mo’at stood with the bowl and finally looked at Dr. Chloe. “I am not too fond of your people either.”

Dr. Chloe could understand that in a way. But she was a bit tired of being grouped with the people that tried to destroy Pandora and take it over. Then again, she really couldn’t blame them. If she were in their shoes, she’d hold a grudge too. It didn’t matter if they were the same or not. That anger, that resent, it was uncontrollable and rightful. Dr. Chloe could do nothing but shrug.

“Touché.”

“Mmph.” Mo’at then handed her the bowl. Dr. Chloe took it, surprised at the sudden gesture. “I understand you are a doctor among your people. This can be more useful than whatever technology you Sky People insist on using.”

Chloe held the little bowl delicately but frowned, “The technology is not all useless, you know. It does help sometimes.”

“Sometimes.” Mo’at pointed out. Dr. Chloe tried not to roll her eyes.

There was small movement behind Mo’at and Dr. Chloe did a double take. She hadn’t realized they weren’t alone until Mo’at had stood. It was a little girl that didn’t really look like Na’vi. Actually, when Dr. Chloe looked at her closely, she realized the little girl looked awfully similar to someone.

Before she could wonder just who the little girl reminded her of, her earpiece suddenly beeped, alerting her that one of her team members was calling her from back at the Olangi Clan.

Dr. Chloe excused herself before answering her earpiece, “This is Dr. Chloe—”

“You need to get back here fast!”

She blinked in confusion at the urgency in her fellow researcher, Simon's voice, “Why, what’s happening?”

There was a pause, “…Okay, don’t get mad but we decided to take her out of cryosleep—”

“WHAT?!” Dr. Chloe covered her mouth when Mo’at gave her a disapproving scowl and the little girl watched her curiously. She cleared her throat and lowered her voice before continuing, “Why the hell would you do something like that—she’s not even stable enough to take her out—”

“Just let me explain!” Simon interrupted with an exhausted sigh. “We connected her to the machines we’ve been working on for months ever since we first started working on her, remember?”

“Those aren’t even ready yet!” Chloe hissed into the earpiece, walking out of the tent where Mo’at and the little girl still were. “Simon, what the hell were you thinking—”

“It worked, Chloe.”

She went quiet. Her eyes wandered aimlessly around the forest, unsure if she had heard him correctly. When Simon called her name again she finally responded in a hushed whisper, “You’re not shitting me, are you? Y-Your saying—”

“It worked, Chloe, it worked.” She could practically imagine the growing smile on his face as he said this. “She could wake up at any moment now. But with her condition, it’s not exactly permanent and I don’t imagine she herself would be happy with the results, but they are supporting her. They're keeping her alive until we know how to deal with the heavier wounds.”

This was definitely a development. This had been something she had been working on for two years now, hearing that it worked, on a person no less? Chloe couldn’t help but start packing up her things and leave.

“I’ll be right there! Don’t do anything without me!”

And with that, Chloe rushed back toward the Samson she had arrived in, ordering the pilot to take her back to plains.

There was a lab within the tall trees the Olangi Clan lived in. Chloe had it built when she first arrived in the plains. Even though she technically wanted to build one in one of the trees, having a lab hanging from a tree wasn’t exactly the safest position. So, they went with having it on the ground.

Plus, if they had done it in the tree, then the lab wouldn’t be as spacious as they needed it to be.

When Chloe arrived back, she came out of her link bed with Simon waiting for her.

“How is she?”

The two walked side by side with each other, leaving the link room and walking down the long hallway. Simon carried a holographic pad in his hands as he spoke, “She’s stable, still has yet to wake up, but things are looking good so far. The doctors want to start on the severe wounds right away.”

“How exactly bad are these injuries?” Chloe found herself asking. Really, when they first saw the patient, they had already decided to quickly put her in cryosleep with how badly injured she was and freeze her wounds before it became any more lethal to her body. Chloe hadn’t exactly seen it for herself but she’d always kept hearing about how bad it was.

Simon frowned, “Third and second degree burns, a broken rib, and a her lungs might've collapsed, I'm not entirely sure.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, I hear she was a lot worse and the doctors managed to work on some of the less lethal burns, but she’s not exactly out of the woods yet.” Simon sighed as they stopped in front of the closed door. “We have twenty minutes with her before the doctors get to work.”

Chloe frowned, staring at him incredulously, “What should we say to her if she does wake up?”

Simon shrugged, “Tell of the situation, maybe fill her in since she’s missed basically five years of her life, and…I don’t know, comfort her the best we know how?”

“Comfort is not either of our strong suits, Simon.”

Simon rolled his eyes before finally opening the door.

What did death feel like? Was it this bright? This cold? Were you supposed to feel so heavy, so numb as if you couldn’t feel your body. Maybe your consciousness was floating above your body. There were stories like that, you remember reading about people who have died for a few seconds and were able to see their body outside of themselves.

Okay, maybe you weren’t actually dead. You may not have known what it felt like but you were pretty sure you weren’t supposed to be able to recall a memory as if it were another day. Then again, your body didn’t feel like a ton of anvils had fallen onto it and was pinning it down, preventing you from moving.

You hadn’t realized your eyes had been open until a shadow came into view, blocking some of the light above. Your vision was blurred, really you didn’t know when you had woken up or how long you had been staring up at the ceiling. Yes, that was definitely a ceiling.

Either hell was some bright room or you were somehow still alive.

Muffled voices echoed into your ears. You hadn’t realized, at first, that the voices were coming from the shadowed heads above you. It was like using your ears for the first time, like you were a newborn baby. Hell, your eyes felt like they hadn’t been used before.

Soon, you started registering the voices.

“You think she fell into some sort of vegetative state?” This voice belonged to a woman.

“I don’t know. It’s a possibility. Coming out of a cryosleep can be a little much.” This voice belonged to a man. Neither of them were familiar to your groggy mind. “We might need to get the doctors.”

Soon your vision began to clear.

“Wait, hold on…” The woman above you whispered. She was staring directly down at you, eyes wide with wonder. “I think she’s…”

Your eyes then moved to the second head, the man, when he came back over and appeared in your vision. And like their voices, they were both unfamiliar to you. Even in your foggy mind, you could not recall a single memory where it included these two strangers. Wait, maybe the woman. Back before you had stopped going to Hell’s Gate, you might’ve seen her a few times in passing.

Wait.

Hell’s Gate.

The bombs.

The ship crashed.

You should’ve been dead.

“Dr. L/N?”

The woman’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, you refocused your gaze on her and she grinned excitedly. “You can hear me? Understand me?”

With great difficulty, you nodded. Or maybe your head shifted slightly similar to a nod, you didn’t really know.

“Holy shit.” The male muttered in amazement.

The woman continued grinning, “Welcome back, Doc.”

Before you could ask her where you were, before you could question who these people were, it suddenly hit you.

And it really hit you. Worse than a pile of anvils. More like an out of control train that crashed right into your body and dragged you along the way.

That was the type of pain that struck your body once your senses had begun coming back. This pain was unimaginable. It was unlike anything, unlike any pain you had ever felt in your short life.

This was worse. This was what death felt like.

You didn’t remember much of what happened after your chest jolted forward from the shock of the pain. All you saw was the two that had been standing over you, rushing away, shouting for what sounded like help. And in the next few seconds you kept blacking out a few times. The world went in and out. Every sound clashed together around you. Most of the pain, you realized, was coming from your waist, hell, just your entire upper body.

You wanted to scream. But all that came out of your mouth was choked gasps, barely any words or cries. You were crying. You were crying. Yes, you were sure of it.

There was a sharp prick against your neck.

And in the next second, it was like you were falling out of the world and back into the blackness.

Falling.

Eventually, you would hit the ground…

And Jake Sully would wake up.

#to you worlds away #jake sully x reader #avatar jake sully x reader #avatar jake #avatar jake sully #jake sully #avatar way of water #avatar the way of water #atwow #avatar fanfiction #avatar 2 #finally!!!

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