#update update the actual run of the show went kinda well

[zora-kinhelp]

Could I request a stimboard for Logan from Sanders Sides with space and ocean themes?

for sure!!!

POSTED :3

hope u like it!! this was such a fun one i love space AND ocean

[hiddenzev]

Second Confession: Part 3

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: The aftermath of the confession

Chapter Warnings - Angst, One-sided love, Unrequited Love, Idiots in Love, (let me know if i missed anything)

WC: 5.4K

series masterlist , AO3

A/N: Sorry for the late update, something terrible happened during the week which put me out of the writing momentum I was in. Love all the comments that you guys left and I appreciate it a lot. Hope yall love this chapter as well because I don't know how to feel about it really because my imagination just runs wild sometimes and it kinda went off the rails here. Thank you! <3

You slam the door to your house shut and went up to your bedroom. You throw yourself on the bed and bury your face in the pillow, crying your eyes out. His words are replaying in your head.

“Without them, you’re just another person in Jackson that I don’t give a fuck about”

“We’re in the apocalypse and you’re out here telling me about your little crush on me”

“I thought you’re better than this”

You didn’t expect for it to be this painful. You were up all night tossing and turning in your bed, replaying the whole scene in your head. Not only that, you don’t know how to face him after this. It’s going to be real awkward from here on out. The depressing night ended with you falling asleep for only 2 hours after all that crying.

Awkward tension filled the breakfast table the next day. Only sound of chewing and the utensils hitting the plates can be heard. It’s obvious that you had a rough night. You woke up with swollen eyes and dried tears all over your face. You were so emotionally wrecked and you were conflicted whether to show up for breakfast or not. However, your pride does not allow you to miss the breakfast and allow Joel to think that he got the best of you. You did not expect to yearn for sunglasses so much in the apocalypse.

Ellie had been glancing at you since you sat down at the table. You had your hair covering half of your face to hide your red swollen eyes. She looks over to Tommy and Maria to see whether they will say anything about it but they are clearly giving you some space and time if you needed to talk about it yourself. Ellie couldn’t handle it anymore as expected from her impatience.

“Have you been crying?” She genuinely asks you.

You know she meant well and she didn’t know what happened last night but you just wished that she would not bring it up at the table. You see a glimpse of Joel out of the corner of your eyes turning his head slowly to look at you. You tried to hide more of your face by staring down at your food.

“No. Just had an allergic reaction this morning, It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You said in a calm tone to hide your embarrassment.

“Oh, I didn’t know you have an allergy,” she asks curiously.

“Yeah I have a dust allergy, it’s minor, really, that’s why I didn’t bother telling anyone about it,” you do actually have the allergy but you just lied to cover up the real reason you have those eyes during breakfast.

Everyone just quietly finish their breakfast after that before parting ways for their own respective duties. You can tell from their concerned faces that they wanted to talk more with you but they let it go for now. Luckily for you, you didn’t have to face Joel for any of the duties that day. You take that opportunity to distract yourself with your duties to ensure that your thoughts are more rational and that you are not high on emotions like before.

For the next couple of days, you focus on doing the things you like so that your thoughts don’t stray away to Joel. You catch up on reading again which you have stopped for a few weeks prior due to your overwhelming thoughts of Joel. You busied yourself with more chores and did extra hours of shift duties. Certain things in your house reminds you of him like your wood carvings and your collection of items that you saved for him. You put those away out of your sight to help you out.

You try to tune out the sound of the guitar when he’s playing it which strangely, he’s been playing it every night recently and for much longer than usual. It makes you fall asleep peacefully with thoughts of him before you close your eyes and even after you wake up in the morning. It’s difficult to just stop thinking about someone that you were so obsessed about for a long time but you hope it will go away gradually as time passes by.

Eventually, everyone in the circle (basically just Tommy, Ellie and Maria) knew about what happened. They knew something was up when your eyes don’t light up as it used to when Joel is mentioned. Also, you can’t lie for shit. You were awkward and stuttering when they ask you about Joel.

You told them everything that happened that night as best as you could remember. Your good heart tried to defend some of what Joel said that you thought were true and they scolded you for it saying you must have lost your mind. Yes, he could be nicer to you but you can’t deny that you took that risk knowing he’s going to be mean. But whatever. You can’t change what happened. Needless to say, they were so mad at Joel for how he had rejected you. They don’t blame him for not reciprocating your feelings but they were hoping he could be gentle about it. You don’t know if they confronted him after that and you couldn’t care less at that time.

The day that you are dreading has come to haunt you. It’s patrol day with the person that broke your heart. You wake up earlier than your usual patrol day to ready yourself to spend almost half of the day with Joel since that painful conversation. You remind yourself to stay strong and just focus on the important tasks that you need to do. You don’t want to be weak in front of him and give him the upper hand.

The time comes for you to make your way to the ranch. You lock your door and as usual, has to walk down the street, passing by Joel’s house. What you didn’t expect is to see him getting out of the house as you pass by. He would have already been at the ranch by now normally. You are slightly annoyed and panicking knowing he’s going to be walking behind you this morning. You don’t like that he’s going to be eyeing you and you don’t want to know what he’s thinking about.

Usually the quiet streets in the early morning is very serene to you but now it's torturing to be able to hear his footsteps faintly behind you. You walk slightly faster than usual to quickly end this misery. Thankfully, you reach the ranch with no complications. You quickly busy yourself with checking your horse and make sure everything is set and ready to go. You barely look at Joel to see what he is up to until the both of you make your way to the gates.

He's leading the way as always and he looks back at you to see if you're ready to go. You stare at him with a cold look in your eyes before giving him a stiff nod reluctantly. His eyes linger on your face before he turns to ride out of the gates.

The tension is the same as the first patrol with him or maybe even higher. The other patrols after the first, were full of you rambling and cracking jokes to fill the silence with him giving you an annoyed look. Different than those days, you do not bother to ease the tension.

The landscape is bathing in the warm glow of the rising sun. The rich scent of nature surrounding the both of you hits you strongly. Unlike the relationship between you and Joel, the sounds of nature are peaceful and has a harmonious symphony.

Joel who is leading the way, steals some glances at you time to time. You try not to be affected by it.

“We’ll stop by the cabin soon.” He states in his husky voice without looking back at you.

You do not reply to what he said knowing there’s no use of it. After a short travel, the cabin comes to sight in a distance. Both of you get off of the horses and check the surroundings before tying the horses to a nearby, sturdy tree. You follow Joel to get in the cabin. Both of you check everything that is needed to be checked before agreeing to have a short break.

You sit at one end of the sofa while Joel sits at the other end. You take out the lunch and drink that you packed from your bag. You fill up your stomach as you lean back on the sofa. Joel eats his sandwich in silence with his arms on his knees. Halfway through your meal, he speaks unexpectedly surprising you.

“Did you have a good sleep?” He asks while chewing on his food.

You turned your head to look at him, not believing what you just heard. He don’t make small talk at all, not once to you, so you are wondering why he’s acting like this all of a sudden.

“Yeah.” You replied him with a questioning tone, not used to him asking you something personal.

He keeps his eyes on the sandwich he’s holding and nods his head after hearing what you said. You take this chance to see whether he will answer you.

“How about you?” You mumble in a low voice, not sure how he would respond.

“Not bad.” He murmurs, still eating his food.

You stare at him for a moment, taking in this rare moment of him being somewhat calm with you. With his patchy salt and pepper beard, a nose that you believe to be specifically sculpted by God, curls that makes you want to tangle your hands in, it makes the walls that you built for the past couple of days to crumble down just by looking at him. It’s so unfair that you still have a soft spot for him in your heart and you’re afraid that any little thing that he do will make you forgive him.

You finishes your meal and lean your head back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. You hear the sound of him storing his food back into his bag before you feel him move slightly through the sofa. In the meantime, you just study the ceiling while everything else just fades in the background. You find the room is silent after getting out of the trance that you were in.

You look to your side to see Joel is staring at you. Has he been staring at you the whole time? Your eyes connect for a few seconds before he look down at his hands. Your heart stupidly starts to beat faster knowing he was staring at you intently. Your body betrays you by blushing a little from his gaze.

He licks his lips nervously while looking everywhere else but you. You sit up feeling the nervousness that he is portraying. You look at him waiting as he seems to want to say something.

“Umm…about what you said the other night…” he fiddles with his hands nervously.

He is having trouble to say what he wants and keeps glancing around. You try to save him the trouble by speaking up, wanting to get over this awkward conversation.

“It’s fine. Just forget about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, let’s just pretend that never happened.” You suggests while looking out the window, away from Joel’s side. It hurts a little for you to say that but you think it’s better this way.

You stands up to dust off your pants before picking up your bag to get out of the cabin and continue your shift duty.

“Let’s go.” You said coldly, making your way out to the horses.

Joel just observes you from a distance with pressed lips and doesn’t say anything to object what you have just said. He ponders for awhile before joining you. You carry on the patrol with much more focus and not bring up any personal topic to him.

Needless to say, the patrol ended with no complications and you did so much better than you expected. At least, you don’t think you made yourself look like a fool still wanting him. Thankfully, he didn’t talk about it after that as well.

After the patrol, Joel is at Tipsy Bison, sitting alone at a booth in the corner. He observes everyone in the bar just having a good time. There are a few couples in there swaying along to the music at the opposite end of the bar. The way they look at each other with so much love in their eyes makes Joel feel envious of them. He does not think that anyone would look at him that way in the apocalypse. He does not think that he deserves it after everything that he’s been through.

That is why when you confessed to him that night, he was taken aback and pushed you away because he doesn’t believe that you knew him enough to truly like him for who he is. He also doesn’t think of you more than an acquaintance of Tommy and Ellie. To hear your confession, altered his brain completely. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be feeling.

As he is thinking about you, Tommy comes into the bar and looks for Joel. He makes his way to him after spotting him in his usual corner. Tommy slides into the booth on the opposite side of Joel.

“She’s not coming. Said she wants to be alone for tonight.” Tommy sighs heavily, leaning back while scrutinizing Joel.

Joel just gives a short grunt in reply while munching on some nuts on the table. Tommy hesitantly brings up what’s happening between you and him and leans forward on the table.

“Are you really gonna keep this up with her?” Tommy asks Joel, eyebrows scrunching.

“Keep what up?” Joel looks up at Tommy with a huge frown on his face.

“Well you know, being an asshole,” Tommy added.

“You think I’m supposed to accept her or something?” Joel staring at Tommy with questioning look on his face.

Tommy just shrugs casually.

“That’s ridiculous. I don’t have feelings for her at all and you, of all people should know that I’m not looking for anything in this fucked up world.” Joel gives his reason to Tommy. He’s tired of explaining himself to his brother.

“I get it but you could have let her down gently instead of being rude to her.” Tommy countered with a dull look at his face.

He’s angry to see you heartbroken by his cold hearted brother. He cherish you a lot as a friend and wants the best for you. He can’t help it that you fell for his brother that doesn’t see love as the way you do.

Joel has nothing to say to that. He agrees that he was mean to you. He was not thinking straight at that time and was overwhelmed with so much feelings that he don’t understand. He did reflected on his words and actions after that and it was bothering him still.

“She was not even expecting anything from you but to just listen to what she had to say,” Tommy continues to explain your intention.

“What good does that do to me?” Joel answers with irritation.

Tommy shakes his head slowly before talking again.

“She genuinely cares about you, brother.” He said with a low voice, his eyes not wavering while looking at Joel.

“All of us sees how she looks and acts around you. I bet that you have your own suspicions as well because only a damn fool wouldn’t see it. You don’t want to lose someone that really cares about you in the apocalypse. Especially not her. Maybe she could help you feel a little joy in this, like you said, fucked up world. If you need  some proof, just look at me and Maria.” Tommy tries to convince him.

Joel breaks eye contact with Tommy and sips his drink before looking at everyone in the bar. Most of the people here are smiling and laughing even when they know the situation that they are in.

“I know some people that are interested in her. They’ve been asking me about her for awhile.” Tommy picks up a few nuts in his hands before throwing it in the air and catching it with his mouth.

Joel shifts his eyes back to Tommy after hearing that. His eyes slightly widen than before with a certain glint in his eyes prompting Tommy to explain more.

“She’s been on her own for a long time and I know she’s been feeling lonely. It might do her some good if I introduce her to someone that she could make a new friend with.” Tommy continues to talk while snacking on the nuts.

“If you really want her, i suggest you get your act together and do something about it before it’s too late. What’s the point of living if you’re not really living it,” Tommy raises his eyebrows at Joel.

Joel clenches his jaw thinking about you looking at another man like how you used to look at him. He doesn’t know why his anger is rising just thinking about it.

Tommy stands up to the side of the table before placing his hand on Joel’s shoulder, squeezing it a little.

“I better get going to my wife. I’ll see you around.” He winks at Joel before going.

Joel’s eyes follow Tommy until he is out of sight. He sits there for a moment thinking about what Tommy said before making his way back home.

On the way back home, his head is filled with the thoughts of you. How he first met you, the way you blush when he's near you, how you look at him with sparkles in you eyes, basically everything about you.

However, the patrol earlier with you was different. You were giving him the cold shoulder and didn't act as you usually were. You did not yap about what you like or don't like, not even the weather, like you usually does. It bothers him that he kind of want to hear your cheery voice instead of your deafening silence.

As he is busy in his own thoughts, he didn't realise that he's reaching his house. In a distance, he could see that your bedroom is emitting soft and warm light. He stops right at his house, looking at the direction of your house. For the first time, he wonders what you are up to.

He turns to walk into his house and the memories of what happened that night came rushing back again. Ever since that night, he's reminded of what happened every time he passes by it.

After dropping your gift on the ground and shutting the door on you that night, he hovered behind the door, processing what just happened. He moved to the window near the door and took a peek behind the curtains. He saw that you were staring at your gift right below you with your fists clenched by your sides. While he was feeling bad, seeing you crushed like that, he didn't expect to see you throw the gift at his door angrily before stomping off. It's the first time he saw you that angry.

He opened his door after making sure that you are already in your house. He took your gift inside and sat on his sofa to open it. It's his first time opening a gift from someone after the outbreak except when Ellie gave him one couple months ago.

He opened the small package slowly and froze seeing the contents in it. He took the beautiful horse chess piece and brought it up close to his face to observe it. There were your initials in small letters at the bottom of the piece, indicating that you carved it yourself. He was mesmerised and lost in the details of the piece before remembering the other contents in the package. He placed the chess piece on the small coffee table in front of him carefully.

He took out the small guitar pick that says 'I pick you' on it. He scoffed with a small smile on his face thinking this was corny but cute. He knows Ellie would find this funny because of her lame jokes. He realised that you must have heard him play his guitar at nights. He didn't know that you could listen from that far away.

Lastly, he opened the letter that you wrote for him.

'Dear Joel,

Firstly, I'm sorry to take you by surprise and I feel like the only way I can tell you how I truly feel about you is by writing this. Joel, you caught my eyes ever since you came in here and no one else really matters as much as you matters to me (except for Ellie, Tommy and Maria of course).

It's getting tough for me to keep these feelings hidden away from you so that is why I want to get it out of my chest. I know that your grumpy ass might think it's silly but my feelings are real, Joel. My heart beats faster just by thinking about you and you don't even want to know how it's like to be near you. There's not a single day which I don't think of you. I see you in my head before I go to sleep at night and after I wake up in the morning.

You may think it is selfish of me to be doing this, yes, I don't deny that. I'd rather be selfish than regretting not telling you the truth. I'm not expecting you to return the same feelings for me. I'm not asking you to be my lover or whatsoever. I just want us to be friends. It's fine if you don't want to. We'll just be who we are to each other before this.

By the way, I'm giving you a chess piece which I made specially for you. I've heard from Ellie that you got a little chess project that you're working on. It's not much but it did felt pretty good to carve it. I might just start carving as a hobby, as a matter of fact. Also, you probably would already guess why I'm giving you the guitar pick. I've heard you play the guitar sometimes and I do love listening to you play. Picked that one out just for you. Thought you might find it funny. I know Ellie does for sure.

Anyway, those are just my tokens of appreciation for you. Thank you for not making me feel lonely and boring in here. I truly do like you even if you don't believe it.

Cheers,

Your Neighbour'

Joel sighed heavily while leaning back against the sofa. He thought about you  putting the effort to write this letter, you being thoughtful of getting him a guitar pick and especially about you taking the time to carve a chess piece specially for him, knowing it is something that he loves doing.

He went to sleep that night with so much guilt of being rude to you earlier. He wished to take back the mean things he said towards you. He doesn't know what to do to make it better. He needs to apologise but his harden self doesn't know how to.

Tonight is game night. The last night of every month, Tommy would gather all of us to have a game night at his house. Everyone is seated in the living room facing each other. You are sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace and Ellie is sitting to your right. Maria is sitting on a sofa chair to your left. Tommy and Joel sits opposite of you on the sofa.

You were playing charades for a few rounds with the group split into two, boys versus girls. Maybe because they are brothers, they were sweeping the rounds with ease. It’s annoying to see Tommy with a smug look as he is winning every round with Joel. He even taunted the girls just to rile them up. Joel on the other hand, looks so nonchalant as usual even when he’s playing and doesn’t even react much when he won.

“Let’s play a new game! I played it with my friends recently and it was kinda fun,” Ellie suggested with an excited look on her face.

“What game?” Tommy moves forward slightly to the edge of the sofa, interested to know about the new game.

“It’s called ‘Never have I ever’.” Ellie introduces the game and explains the rule to everyone.

Once everyone understands how to play, Ellie starts first. Each and everyone of you have a turn stating what you all had never done. One round passes and it’s back to Ellie. You had two of your fingers folded already from previous attacks.

“Never have I ever experience living before the outbreak.” she grins mischievously.

Everyone except Ellie groan and complain about what she had just said.

“That’s sooo cheap,” You narrow your eyes at her while shaking your head slowly.

“What? I had to. I want to the be the last one standing.” She reasons her way out before telling Joel to go next.

“Never have I ever worn high heels.” He said as he looks at you and Maria.

You and Maria folded a finger each, cursing quietly under your breath. Tommy  went next causing Joel to fold a finger. Maria has a go for one of Tommy’s.

It is soon your turn and you take a jab at the boys by saying, “Never have I ever have a male sibling.” you cannot contain the small smile on your face after saying that.

You don’t dare to look at Joel so you just keep your gaze on his fingers to see him folding one of it. Tommy curses you and you chuckle softly.

The game continues and mostly everyone have five fingers left except for Ellie who is left with seven. She’s being so ruthless in this game. You cannot expect what she will say each round. Everyone is trying to protect her innocence while she has no filter on and just runs her mouth without thinking twice.

Some of the things she said in the game were, ‘not having a relationship before’ (very mild), ‘never experience sex before’ (okay, chill. Everyone was stunned hearing that from a 15 year old mouth) and in the previous round, ‘never seen her parents before’ (the room totally went silent).

It’s back to her again and the next thing that she said, caught you off guard.

“Never have I ever done any wood carvings.” you glance at her to see that she’s already smirking at you. How did this little shit know about this?

Your eyes can’t help but shifts to Joel and sees that he’s already putting one finger down, leaving him with only three left. He briefly looks at you before looking down at the floor in the middle of the circle. You hesitantly put a finger down and that is obviously not missed by the other two people in the room.

“Oh, you did?” Maria turns her body to you, indicating that you should explain more about it.

“Yeah, I started like a couple months ago,” you give her a short reply and hoping they would move on from this.

“Why didn’t you tell us? You know this man over here does them a lot,” Tommy gives a good grip on Joel’s shoulder and shakes him slightly, “Maybe the both of you could spend some time carving together.”

You and Joel make eye contact for a brief moment. All you can think about is that one chess piece that you made for him. You wonder if he keeps it or he had thrown it away after that night.

Ellie reminds Joel that it’s his turn next but Joel suddenly says that he doesn’t want to play this game anymore and that he wants to go home soon as he is tired. You think that his mood is ruined thinking of the chess piece that you made specially for him. Sadness filled your heart again thinking that he doesn't like it.

Tommy eases up the tension by asking if anyone needs more drinks.

"Me." Ellie said and gets up to squeeze in between Joel and Tommy.

Tommy stands with a groan to get the drinks from the kitchen. Your butt starts to hurt sitting on the hard floor as well so you move to sit on the only available chair beside Joel. Tommy comes back holding drinks on both hands. He hands one over to Ellie before sitting on the arm rest on Maria’s sofa chair. He leans towards Maria and put his arm over her shoulders. They gently smile at each other making you feel slightly jealous of the love that they have.

Tommy turns to you looking as if he just remembered something.

“Hey, you know Emile, right?” He asks.

“Yeah. Always see him in the library. Why?” you asks, not knowing where this is going.

“He’s been asking about you, wondering how you’ve been,” he added.

“Oh, it’s probably because I didn’t visit the library for awhile now.” you shrug your shoulders.

“Guess he misses you, huh” he smirks with one eyebrow raised.

“Nah, what are you talking about? Stop it.” You chuckles softly finding this is ridiculous. Shaking your head, you slump back on the sofa, sighing.

Emile is one of the librarians in the community. He’s been here for almost half a year and he’s been really nice to you. He’s tall, has short and curly dirty blonde hair, striking blue eyes and quite a gentleman. He’s popular among the ladies for being a sweetheart. He will strike up conversations with you every time you go to the library to browse some books or spend some time reading alone there. You can tell he is into books and love to learn about new things even though he’s clumsy at times.

He’s younger than you by a couple of years and you only view him like a little brother all this time. He’s giving a golden retriever energy and it does make you smile sometimes. He reminds you of the feeling of warmth when hanging out with your close friends before the outbreak.

You were sure that he don’t have feelings for you in a romantic way. Maybe you are wrong. You were too busy focusing on Joel to notice anyone else in the vicinity. 

“Maybe he likes you,” Ellie chirps in,

“No fucking way,” you dismisses that idea right away.

“What if he does?” Tommy asks you seriously.

“I don’t know?”

“What do you think of him?” Maria asks with a soft smile on her face.

God, you wish you could disappear right there and then. You do not look at Joel’s direction but you can see at the corner of your eyes, his fingers are gripping the arm rest on his side really hard.

“He’s a nice lad. Real sweet,” you say hesitatingly, knowing they might tease you with whatever you will say, “always ask me if I’m doing good every time I see him in the library.”

You glance to your side a little bit and spots Joel’s fingers are scratching the arm rest mindlessly. He’s tapping his foot restlessly and something about that makes you want to comfort him.

You’re tired of the pressure they’re putting on you here and especially with Joel in the presence. However, you think maybe you could use this opportunity to see how he would react. Why is he restless? Is he jealous? Or is he just so repulsed by you?

“Maybe I should visit the library tomorrow and see him.” You casually say that, pretending you are happy with the idea of seeing Emile.

Everyone especially Tommy and Ellie are cheering and howling except for the grumpy old man beside you. He soaks in the moment for a few seconds before getting up of his seat.

“I’m going home.” He says to everyone with a strangled voice.

He storms past right in front of you and you can feel the anger seeping through his body without even touching him. In that moment, you take in his earthy and musky scent as he strides pass you. You almost run after him to check if he’s okay. It’s driving you insane that he still have you wrapped around his little finger and you cannot do anything about it.

Is he angry that you’re going to see Emile tomorrow?

Why would he be angry if he rejected you?

next part

Thank you so much for reading this chapter. I will update the next one within two weeks!! Pinky promise <3

Taglist: @greenwitchfromthewoods @rebeccawinters @cuteanimalmama @rodriguez31 @orcasoul @ashleyfilm

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Omega filling Crosshair in on some highlights he missed, after they've finished their first meditation session

Omega: There was this one time Tech entered a riot race to save us from being indebted to a dangerous gangster, and Tech won.

Crosshair: unsurprised, Tech always was an adrenaline junkie and of course the squad would run into trouble with a gangster

******

Omega: Oh, did I tell you about the time we went with Phee to find treasure? The treasure turned out to be the kill switch to a weapon of mass destruction, so we had to leave it there after almost dying.

Crosshair: unsurprised, the squad itself used to be a weapon of mass destruction, but of course they wouldn't be able to keep their hands on any treasure

******

Omega: I learned what flirting is by watching Phee talk to Tech. Tech couldn't do it well himself, but we all knew he liked her.

Crosshair: raised eyebrows, but... uh, actually, come to think of it, he could kinda see Tech having a girlfriend; he'd be more surprised if it were Hunter with a girlfriend, seeing as how Hunter is completely oblivious to anyone paying that kind of attention to him

******

Omega: So... Fennec, that bounty hunter Wrecker and Hunter are going to meet? We first met her on Pantora, I accidentally got lost when I ran after a puppy right after Hunter sold Echo to a shop owner...

Crosshair: [slamming open the door barging into the Marauder and glaring at Hunter the moment he and Wrecker return from space-Florida] YOU SOLD ECHO???!?

....

Hunter: Look, we really needed the credits and Echo wasn't going to stay there forever.

Crosshair: You told me a real leader protects his squad!

Hunter: That's what I was doing!

Crosshair: By selling Echo??

Echo [was in the middle of getting updated on the Fennec stuff via holotransmission and is still on the call]: It's fine, Crosshair. What's done is done. That was a long time ago.

Crosshair: Well, at least tell me they got 10,000 credits for you!

Echo: crossing his arms and joining Crosshair in staring Hunter down

Hunter: sighs

Wrecker: eating popcorn in the background, passes the bucket over to Omega when she shows up

(Crosshair may have teased Echo all the time, but he's a bit protective of his adopted brother too.)

[jamiebluewind]

Eclipse the kitten update

(please don't glitch tumblr it's the tenth time I've tried!!!)

Previous post

Welp! Winter's boy has a respiratory infection. It was causing him to wheeze so to the vet we went! Luckily it wasn't a diaphram issue (which had us worried because of his umbilical hernia). His hernia also came up normal on his x-rays.

(X-rays left out because might bother people, but I can send them on request)

He's on meds several times a day and taking them like a champ, but had to be put in a pen with limited free playtime (because nothing will stop Mr Indestructible from running around the house with all the grace of a car with no breaks). We DID get a reply after just a week from a really nice person who was going to give us one (shocked us let me tell ya because it was BIG dog sized). Unfortunately, they left it outside for us to pick up and someone else just... took it. Right out of their yard. And since all we had was a small cat carrier to keep him in (which was kinda cruel for more than a day or two tops), we ordered a cat playpen that we got for a decent price. We kept looking until it got here, but no luck. Still! It's a nice playpen and we have it set up so he doesn't have to jump if he doesn't want to (plus more vertical to enjoy later on). Sarah's mom also let us borrow her water fountain!

We went to a new vet as ours was booked up (and he had already been wheezing a day). Everyone basically fell in love with him instantly. He left with a little toy from the tech, they gave Winter a jar of honey (one of the people in the office has bees and they wanted to give her something for caring about a kitten that most wouldn't have despite him having a treatable condition), and they've been checking in on how he is recovering (very well since I first typed this actually). He's basically got an entire vet office wrapped around his little paw.

Also, the non-profit we're taking him to for his surgery had a cancelation and his got moved up to the 12th! Counting down the days yall.

Because I gotta kinda mention it, this hit us where it hurts. Between the vet visit and testing, the pen, and the estimated cost for the surgery and followup, it's gonna cost us more than $2k (as long as nothing ELSE goes wrong). We're lucky that we're all super careful with our money, but there's only so much we can save up with three people below the poverty line. Still worth it though. I mean, look at this doofus

He is so stubborn that we can't leave scratch posts upright because he keeps doing THIS! XD

I'm linking Winter's paypal, but I 1000% understand if you can't help out. Still, a reblog and a word or three mean a LOT to all of us so if you got a minute, I'd love some new post additions to show Winter.

(Truth be told, the only reason all the updates are posted on my tumblr is because I'm the longest winded out of the three of us and I take like 5 billion pictures. XD )

Speaking of, there WOULD be a bonus pic of him and his sister (Melanite, aka Miel) playing under my chair as my cat (Danny) looks on from a safe place, but tumblr kept glitching when I added it.

Edit: surgery update

[drghostwrite]

Holding onto you

Pairing: Callie Torres x reader

Summary: not sure lol… there aren’t enough Callie fics and throughout the show she had some pretty rough relationships, so here’s some fluff for the Dr. Torres. It’s kinda nothing then smut then fluff, this will be a multi part story!

Warning: Smut!

******************************************************** you pulled your car into the long drive way climbing out and fumbling to find your house keys.

you opened the door and looked around the house that was eerily quiet all the lights were still out. You went around flicking on the lights, “Callie?” You called but no answer.

“Callie, baby are you here?” No answer so you walked back out and saw her car sitting in your shared driveway.

“that’s weird, where is she?” You whispered to yourself and crept your way up the stairs. You peaked in your bedroom and then saw the note taped to the door, big trauma I was called in, welcome home my love.

You had been away for a conference but decided that you were ready to go back to work so you changed your clothes and made your way to Grey Sloan. The storms were raging as you drove to the hospital, rain beat down on your windshield, you parked and ran in through the front doors. The receptionist at the desk perked up, “how can I help you?”

“Hey…” before you could finish she recognized you and directed you to the OR where Callie was currently operating. You quickly thanked her and ran to change into a clean and dry pair of scrubs.

as the elevator doors slid open you stepped through straightening out your clothing with your hands, you made your way to the gallery only to be greeted by a curious group of interns watching your wife operate. You sat down next to the group, “so any updates?” you asked and started talking to the small group. Part way through the conversation one of the girls recognized you, “Oh my God… your Y/N Devine like doctor Y/N Devine!”

“well yes and no” you chuckled with a small smirk.

“What do you mean yes and no?… I’ve watched your techniques, I tried to get into Harvards program just to study under you.”

“way to suck up there Jo…” some of the other girls scoffed.

“well I mean yes as in I am her same person same skills but no as in I’m married now so I technically hyphenated my last name but I don’t ever go by that or Devine anymore… Also I would like to clarify that I no longer teach at Harvard I accepted an attending position here.”

“Are you the new head of trauma?” A red haired woman spun around.

“Yes ma’am.” You gave a small grimace and smile.

“No that’s a good thing, April Kepner I’m actually one of your residents.” She reached her hand out and you shook it.

“Good to know.” Just then Miranda Bailey stepped into the room and all the interns shot back forward.

“Ahh Miranda Bailey, she’s still got it.” You laughed.

“Y/N Devine-Torres, does your wife know you’re up here?”

“I don’t believe so, looks like she’s tapping out though so better go find her before someone else does…”

“go getcha girl, good to have you back.” She laughed as you left. All the interns shocked at the fact that your “wife” was none other than Dr. Calliope Torres.

you ran down to the locker room where you figured she would be changing. You knocked on the heavy wooden door, “knock knock anyone home?” You asked playfully slipping in. You found her pulling her shirt over her head next to her locker, which held a couple pictures of you and her, Sofia, the three of you along with her stethoscope and a few other necessities. She turned to you and made a sad face letting out a whine and letting her shoulders drop.

“I’m so so sorry that I couldn’t be home…”

“I know baby I know.” You said pulling her into an embrace placing kisses on her lips.

“rough night?” You whispered in between kisses.

“you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Mmm so don’t tell me just let me take you home, relieve some of that stress… that tension.” You said running expert hands over her strong arms and shoulders.

She bit her lip, her eyes darkening by watching yours, “whatever you say… Y/N Devine” she said all airy and mocking the girls earlier.

“that is Dr. Torres to you.” You said placing a bruising kiss on her lips.

the car ride home was quiet, you could feel the gentle anticipation coming in waves. You parked and walked up to your shared house gently leading her through the door. Setting all your bags down keeping an eye as she went into the kitchen, you walked up behind her hands massaging the muscles ghosting kisses on the back of her neck as she leaned her head back into you. You grabbed her hand and guided her upstairs to your bedroom, grabbing her shirt and pulling her close, starting to strip her clothes pulling her closer and closer until she was completely bare, letting your hands grasp at her curves and muscles quick breathes and smirks shared in between heated kisses, you ran skilled fingers all over her body before pushing her back her knees meeting the bed.

“looks like someone couldn’t wait for me to get home.” You said slyly.

“your my wife of course I can’t wait for you to get home… she said suggestively, as she scooted back the bed, you were on all fours over her heated kisses being trailed across her body. For awhile you made out letting your hands roam the heat intensifying as you kissed every part of her body.

“Y/N, mi amor.” She whined as you nipped at her neck then replacing the bite with a kiss.

“yes my love?” You asked moving down to her chest nipping the soft skin and then placing kisses, leaving a kiss right in between her breast while looking up to make eye contact.

“I need you…” you worked your way back up to her mouth, your hand sneakily going between her legs, fingers ghosting her inner thigh.

“mm, what do you need love?”

“Uh…” she inhaled sharply with a whine, “you I need you.” She exhaled into your kiss, your fingers sliding through as you felt how wet she was.

“what she wants she gets…” you left one more bruising kiss before sliding down in between her legs, you didn’t waste much time and it wasn’t long before her moans filled the room. Your hand pumping as your mouth worked wonders, before you knew it she had hit her high. As you placed kisses up and down her legs she sat up pulling you into her lap, you wrapped your bare legs around her and she could feel how wet you were, how much you ached.

“You know I always knew you had that last name for a reason… Dr.Devine.”

“mmhm, too bad I changed it.”

“must’ve been a special one.”

“yeah, more than special, she’s pretty amazing, the ONE, the only one.”

She chuckled, “well then… my turn, show you how amazing I am…” she said teasing you her hand sliding in to give you more teasing action. She turned and laid you on the bed your legs still wrapped around her waist, you unhooked them, still holding with your knees as she got up.

she walked over to the closet and was digging until she pulled out the strap, you but your lip as she walked back over to you, she sat next to you pulling you back into her lap, one hand was on her face as you kissed her while the other held onto the top of the headboard.

at first she moved slowly grinding into each other but before long she had you on your back legs over her shoulders as she railed you, loud moans filling the room, good thing your neighbors weren’t to close by.

“mi amor, absolutely beautiful, if only I could put a baby in you, see you glow as you carried our baby.” That sent you over the edge.

A little while later you found yourselves wrapped in each others arms legs tangled, the bed in disarray, you laid your head on her chest as she held you.

You were being quiet, Callie reached over brushing some curls out of your face, “Y/N what’s on your mind?”

“Hmm..” you pulled out of your daze.

“where did you go?”

“no where.”

“you’re being quiet… what’s wrong?”

“nothings wrong, just thinking.”

“About what baby?”

“Well,” you said sitting up next to her, she looked up at you until she saw how nervous you were, scooting up to prop on the headboard next to you.

“baby what’s wrong?” She said getting more concerned, she ran a gentle hand over your leg as you faced her.

“were you serious?”

“about?”

“the baby, me being pregnant?… with our baby.” You looked into her deep eyes.

“I…uh… to far? I’m sorry if…”

“no, no, I want a baby.”

“really?”

“I mean yea, I know with Sofia and all and Arizona and the whole situation that it’s not easy, but I want a baby I want little mini us’s running around.”

“Y/N is that what you were so nervous about?”

“yea i thought maybe you were just saying it but then i got thinking and…”

“baby,” she said cutting you off, “I would love to have a baby with you, I was serious. You would look gorgeous carrying our baby and I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else, you’re more than just my wife, my best friend, love of my life… and besides Sofia would love having a sibling.” She said leaning up to kiss you.

“so you wanna have a baby?” You chuckled into her kiss.

“yes love I wanna have a baby.” She said placing rapid kisses on your lips and pulling you into an embrace as you both giggled.

[devilart2199-aibi]

IDW collection reading update! :D 📖 (Fixed!)

Phase 2 volume 4 done! This volume included: Monstrosity, RID issues 12-18 and MTMTE issues 14-16!

I ended up reading all the way to Phase 2 volume 6 before finishing this update so my notes are a bit scattered! Anyway! As usual my thoughts are below :3 ⤵️

Monstrosity:

This story is set in the past, when Optimus has assumed leadership on Cybertron after the senate and pervious primes were killed.

This story is, I dunno... For some reason I can't really get into these?? It feels... edgy?? Idk, I feel like that's not the best way to describe it. But there's something about the vibe with these ones in the past (like Autocracy and this one).

Of course everyone is becoming the characters we know since this is in the past. So there is going to be a lot of fumbling and growing from them and things that seem out of character. But given their situation at the time, i can't be super harsh on odd decisions.

They have to deal with the senate and their corruption, as well as that from the previous primes, the Decepticons uprising and wanting to take over, Cybertron running out of resources aaaaand I feel like something else I can't remember rn 🤔 but a lot is going on!! Haha.

There is a scene that references the OG animated movie where they toss Megatron out of Astrotrain and he goes "I still function...!" Which was a pretty cool homage tho.

But this kinda felt like a whole way to just show how badass Megs is meanwhile Optimus is going through it on Cybertron 😂 It was entertaining and interesting at parts, but some things I was 'eh' about

RID: 12-16:

Before i go on, I'm sorry, but... this Megs panel is giving me the same energy as that little alien guy that was in the news months ago 🤣 Now actually⤵️

Megatron returns!! This story was very entertaining!! I feel like I can usually guess where something is going, but I was surprised by a lot of the twists here! There was so many!

The character deaths had me shook! 😭 Wheeljack ahhhh!!! Metalhawk!! Also everything with Prowl and the Constructions! O_O;

I'm sorry Prowl 😔 I was pretty surprised when they started killing off the Decepticons at first, but then went: "Well, I guess he's being super ruthless now" I couldn't see you were brainwashed!! 😭🗿To my defense, him teaming up with Arcee and given Arcee's record, it kinda seemed like the natural progression of things lol 💀

Two things I kinda have mixed feelings about tho are:

1. Arcee just casually being part of the Decepticon gang and no one questioning her being there?? She then easily kills the guy controlling Devastator and that was like... Megatron's big plan. Why didn't she do it sooner? I imagine it was to draw out Meg's, but still it seemed weird.

2. Starscream killing Metalhawk after Metalhawk came to save Starscream. It's in his character and everything, and I'm happy that he did it bc it shows who he is. But OOF I thought he was leaning a different way for a bit and that I had Starscream wrong, But no, he's greedy boy. (I was starting to like Metalhawk T_T)

Anyway! Good guy Swindle!! 🥹

MTMTE 14-16:

💀💀💀💀💀 BIG SAD. But!!! It was a super interesting story!! I really enjoyed learning about Overlord and Chromedome.

Chromedome becoming Trepan's apprentice in the past was crazy!! :O And the whole scene with him and Prowl in Prowl's office. When Prowl asks/threatens Chromedome to go into Overlord's mind 😙👌 *chef's kiss* GET 'EM CHROMEDOME!! 💪👊🔪

The whole thing about how the Phase Sixers are made was very interesting too!! This frame ⤵️ Meg's saying this made me lmao 😂 I can now see the thing between him and Overlord better now.

As for Overlord getting out and obliterating some of the crew... ughhhhh 😭😭😭 Pipes man!! Ratchet protecting the medibay was awesome. Best doctor 🚑😌

I was shocked during the fight with Overlord that Magnus got so injured!! I've read ahead already, but I was sweating it, I thought he was gonna die too 😭😭 Overlord goes right for your spark man 💀

Luckily they got Overlord back to his containment cell, but- 😭😭😭😭 LITTLE MAN 😭😭😭 Why'd he have to hop in there to get the sword??? OTL

Then Chromedome blowing it up once the cell disengaged from the ship 😭 It was a perfectly painful sequence! ���

When I saw the scene with Whirl and the cannon/ blaster shooting asteroids, I knew it would come around 😔

Also!! Learning that Chromedome has had other deep connections with bots (idk if Brainstorm meant Conjunx' specifically) and given them his innermost energon before and that's why he's dry!! Excuse me as I sob 🤧🤧🤧🤧😭😭😭😭 and then he makes himself forget!!! UGHH OTL My heart man!

The tape that Rewind made too!! 😭🤧

Drift taking one for the team too by getting banished 😔 he's a real one. Also pls come back.

RID 17-18:

We got more Shockwave lore here and I'm a big Shockwave enjoyer so I was very happy!! More heartache of course tho 😢

Him pitching/making the Jhiaxian academy of advanced technology is huge. Then all the experiments he did once he was turned purple 💀💀💀

Him going to Dai Atlas and injuring him before the attack on the senate so that he would escape death was a cool surprise. He's still in there ;_; ahhhh.

There is another story that happens in current time where Bee gets turned into Goldbug, but I think he's called "Goldfire" here? 🤔 He really got injured during the whole thing with Meg's so they had to fix him up with pieces of his old earth form.

It was cool to see included in the story :3

Final Random Thoughts:

This volume had a bunch of great stories in it! And I learned quite a bit about characters I like!

Though it was sad, I'd say my favorite story was the mtmte one with Overlord (The Overlord arc?). The art is always fantastic and so is the story!

I look forward to reading more and I'll be making another reading update very soon since I'm already on volume 6!

I didn't want to lump them all together bc I like using images as the story breaks and Tumblr only let's you use 10 per post 😔 Also... I ramble quite a lot haha, so 3 volumes worth would definitely be too much! 😂

Anyway! See you next time! 👋

[clownsnake]

guys. Astarion wasn’t literally considered a child when he was 30. Among elves he was clearly seen as Of Age to do adult things like drink and live independently and fuck and pay taxes. its just that elves have a stupid extra concept of adulthood that doesn’t MEAN adulthood in a literal sense. has nothing to do with physical or brain development. not even necessarily emotional development, but it kind of is depending on how u interpret it, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

basically elves in the forgotten realms trance instead of sleep (we know this) and until around age 110, during their trances they “dream” of their past lives (I’ve only seen a few ppl who know this, but idk if they also knew it stops at a certain age). They then stop dreaming of their past lives naturally, and it’s generally considered kinda traumatic to go through bc well. you’re losing what has been a fundamental part of yourself for so long.

I interpret that as being like a “shared trauma maturation stage” where instead of elves brains literally becoming more adult, losing the guidance of their past lives feels like more of a final step towards independence to them. and adulthood is just the closest social experience to this stage of being “truly on your own”

around 30-40 they get a “first reflection”, which is when their dreams start having experiences from their current life. (Makes sense for Astarion having a dream about Cazador in origin runs that prompts the biting scene) And then the loss of past life memories at 100-110 is called the drawing of the veil.

Tl;dr Astarion was a young adult by elf standards stop infantilizing him PLEASE

Getting into headcanon land now, feel free to draw your own conclusions from here.

i imagine older elves kind of have a sense of being more “mature” than under-110 elves in the way tht people comparing their trauma tend to do. Like “u think ur so smart and worldly but you haven’t even been through half the shit I’ve been through.” PATRONIZING that’s the word I’m looking for, it’s patronizing. And since every elf goes through this, they just kind of assume that yeah, going through this trauma/emotional loss IS a big step towards being a full adult. so it’s like if the concept of adult had a Pokémon evolution that didn’t involve getting wrinkly and hair loss and going through menopause or erectyle dysfunction. Adult 1.5 steam update.

I have no clue if Astarion would have the drawing of the veil as an undead elf. The fact that he even has dreams shows that being revived as a vampire keeps certain bodily functions running, mainly anything relating to the brain and consciousness, but idk if it would keep him physically at 30 or let his brain change.

Although hold on, in the epilogue where you’re a mind flayer and considering eating Astarions brain, you get narration that’s like “ooohh his brain part that handles senses must be sooo wrinkly” which would only be caused by the shit he went through post-vampirification. Meaning his brain Would be able to change and “mature”. But that’s also just an assumption that mindflayer!tav/durge is making.

k I looked it up. The exact quote is “Astarion’s sweet brain may be a bit less wrinkled than the rest, but you hunger for its teasing cells. His parietal lobe - which controls his sense of touch - will be an aphrodisiac in your maw.” Hilarious, he canonically gets called smooth brain. Anyway if u kill him I don’t think you get to eat his brain, withers just banishes you asap lmao. So we don’t actually know if his parietal lobe changed over his un-life! I’d wager it did though, based on his “don’t touch me” selection line (and probably some other lines hinting towards over-sensitivity tht im forgetting). And change caused by external trauma vs change caused by aging is different anyway.

no conclusion wrt to if he’d reach the drawing of the veil or not. Does it even matter? He’s still the same adult man, who’s gone through far worse hardships than losing memories of his past lives. If he lost his past life dreams too, well then I don’t think that’d make much of a difference for him.

[thetimesewers]

Proof that the Professor has been possessed:

His fur is a different colour. His eyes are a different colour. And yet, in the picture, he has his original colour, which means this is not just an updated design, we are supposed to notice the difference.

Also, his satchel. His satchel dropped somewhere else when he fell into the mouth of the dinosaur, and it also wasn’t mentioned in any of the articles Ryan went on. Only the hat and the glasses. So… why does he have his satchel back?

This one might be a reach in the dark, but the Professor mostly lives off of jellybeans and spiders. In fact, the spiders are his main source is protein, so would he actually eat steak? Then again, I guess he does (possibly) eat dolphin meat, so maybe not. And he completely dismissed Sara when she said it was bad for the environment, when I feel like the Professor would take it into consideration.

Also, his voice. Instances I found of his voice going all demonic (just in case there’s any correlation):

YOU LIKE MEAT, RYAN?

*demonic laugh after his ‘Boer-d’ joke*

THE LEARNING HAS BEGUN

You know that algorithm machine is running BETTER THAN EVER THIS SEASON

When he pops up after the first puppet show

WHAT DO YA GOT

What could the deal with the box possibly be? It’s some sort of energy source, obviously… and the Professor is very adamant on not talking about it, and, well… we know that when the Professor chooses not to elaborate on something (i.e. the genie), it can’t be good. He’s so angry when they bring it up, has he ever shouted like that before?

Also, he acts pretty much feral with Ryan. Like, growling at him and trying to bite him. I mean, I get it, I probably would too, but we’ve never seen the Professor be violent, ever. He’s also never had a problem with anyone touching him before, in fact, he encourages people to take a jellybean out of his satchel.

Why does he say it like that? “On account of having to TAKE HUMAN LIFE.” Like, it’s not demonic, but Professor… just chill, please. What the fuck is wrong with you, my man?

His demonic laugh after making that pun. Like, come on, man, what the fuck is wrong with you, sir? And when the question comes up, and he goes “THE LEARNING HAS BEGUN! Ready your quills, my beauties!” WHAT THE FUCK MY (NOT SO) GOOD SIR

What was with the weird, creepy giggle? Professor doesn’t laugh like that… “Well, I’m alive! It feels good!” Sounds exactly like the kinda thing that someone who isn’t alive would say.

“Oh, we got my b-boys out there. I can’t remember what this bit is.” THATS BECAUSE THERE ISNT ONE. THERE IS NO B BOY BIT. HE JUST SAYS B BOYS.

Ryan: “I’m in hell.” A buzzer. The blank screen. Something sus is happening.

The most obvious piece of evidence: the glitch when he says “I guess we don’t have to,” when Ryan doesn’t wanna talk. Possibly something to do with the energy box?

The algorithm machine is “RUNNING BETTER THAN EVER THIS SEASON.” And it’s the only episode where Ryan has won, which means it has most likely been tinkered with to favour Ryan rather than the guest.

What is with the obsession with flesh? “Supple… life-defining… flesh.” Professor… you don’t eat flesh. You eat jellybeans, spiders, and possibly dolphin meat, but he’s getting a little weird here with his obsession for meat/flesh. And again, when talking about meat alternatives. The way he says “fleshier” is just… just weird.

Avoiding the question of “are you a ghost?” with “What kind of question is that? Come on.”

Okay, again, I’m not too sure about this one, but right before the first puppet show, when the curtain’s down, you can hear “where’s his fucking people?” Not “my” people, but “his” people, meaning that it’s someone else referring to the Professor. This is most likely just Shane honestly, having gotten used to calling them the Professor’s puppets, but I thought it was worth noting down.

After asking about why hippo meat didn’t take off, the noise he makes almost sounds like he’s deflating or powering down, so to speak. And he makes the same sound when he comes back up, so I think it’s definitely something to do with the box. I just don’t know what yet.

When he brings the guy up (Captain Claude), and he says: “But a word of warning. Not everything on this stage is as it seems,” combined with the fact that this is a guy who, a) faked his own death and b) pretended to be someone else. It’s obvious he’s talking about “the Professor”. But then again, it’s the Professor doing the voices, so does that make sense? Probably not, but it’s some form of evidence, so I’m sticking with it.

When going over the kinda summary thing, there’s an image of the Professor about to eat something. They lift up the lid and the flag says “100% Grade A Puppet Meat”, and he looks into the camera. This just adds more depth to his whole weird obsession with flesh.

It’s very strange how there’s just suddenly no trophies (especially when the Devil says in the last episode that the Professor buys those things in bull, suggesting he has a lot of them backstage), but instead a moisturiser. A very random object. The Professor is very adamant on him using it, and linking back to my earlier theory of the algorithm being rigged to let Ryan win, I think there’s a reason for it.

This one isn’t linked to any evidence for possessed!Professor at all, but I just noticed that the logo for ScienceSimp is one of the Bye Bye Brothers.

One of the tabs that Ryan has open is “Puppet Necromancy” and “Time Travel Methods” (as well as something about Nighttime Dan — again, unrelated, but I love that little detail). I think perhaps we could get an episode about the dinosaurs, based on the fact that there’s an article on it. There’s also an article about hologram technology — something to do with the Professor? Maybe he’s not possessed, but just a real weird hologram (like in the Holiday Spectacular)? I am genuinely very interested in this little insight to the going-ons in the WCU (like a Joker being elected Pope).

The genie lamp is surrounded by jellybeans. I don’t know what the implications of that are, but… it’s weird. “This breathtaking lamp will make a stunning addition to any home, no matter how drab. This piece was among many rare antiquities recently auctioned off at a local estate sale seemingly managed by the devil and a three-headed demon.” This means that the Devil, Asmodeus, or the Genie can’t possibly be possessing the Professor. But, why are the selling the lamp? With the genie presumably inside? It’s also worth noting that it says Ryan placed a $15 bid on it, while this “Connie M.” bids $5,500 on it — it seems like this Connie really wants that lamp, and she’s been at it for a while “oh, fucking Connie, again).

You can see that one of the professors (the one that moves) is different from the others, clearly standing out. But his colour seems to match the other toys (which are the original colour of the Professor).

That’s pretty much all I could pick out. I have never analysed anything so deeply before, and I can’t wait to do this every week. But yeah, I think there’s definitely something going on with the Professor, but I don’t know if it’s possession, since the Devil and Asmodeus sold the lamp. The hologram theory kinda makes sense, but I’m gonna wait until we have more info to develop that one any further.

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Special Ep (Finale) Stray Thoughts

I am curious how I feel about this as the end of the Theory of Love run. I won't recap since we finished the show, but I went back into my own posts and I previously liked this despite having no memory of it.

Okay, as cheesy as it is, I do generally like when follow up outings acknowledge or tease their critics.

Oh that play with the names. I saw that. It's 2020 and we all verse now. (Side note. I do not remember associating this special with COVID lockdowns.)

It's kinda fun when the epilogue content happens before the actual ending. We know that they will get back together to form Hod Production and that they'll succeed.

Special Episode: Stand By Me

Oh, Third. You really had this man sleeping on the floor for multiple nights. Even as someone who wanted him to suffer, you aren't serious.

I'm not surprised Third and Khai ended up working together, and it's definitely good for Third's ego that Khai is being such a simp.

I was curious what hanging out for these guys would look like now that most of them are in committed relationships and Bone is healing from heartache.

Look at that, Khai. Growth. He was in a situation with some girls and made it clear he wasn't available. I will accept the incoming hijinks from this lipstick.

Yes, Khai, why did you lie?

I snorted at the camera guy having better communication with the director or cinematographer than Khai.

Did this girl suck on his neck? Why is he still hiding it? Just tell Third some drunk girl fell on you. Two saw it and Third trusts Two. Bone gets it.

I'm glad Third is aware that he's cute and actively maintaining it. Gun torments me regularly on IG.

I kinda like that Khai is being so ridiculous about this drunk girl situation. We know he's been at this for almost a year trying to prove his loyalty to Third.

This senior taking the graduation photo from them was one of the motorcycle guys in My Ride.

Aww, Bone. Do you think you're better off alone? Talk to me.

Any time someone points with their lips I laugh.

I love this confession in the car. Third is still testing Khai, but at least he knows Khai wasn't stepping out. I like that the resolution is one about how they're both trying to make this work despite the emotional baggage. I like the version of Khai that wants to honor Third.

These two made it four years and produced a movie together. I believe in their relationship if it's still going strong after making a highly successful film.

I am actually so into Khai doing multiple proposals to Third, elevating it each time.

Well, that was lovely.

Updated Verdict: 8.5, Recommended for Fans of Romance Cinema. I spent a lot of time over the last few days thinking about how I would recommend this series going forward. I think it is good on a lot of technical fronts, and there's a lot to like in the BTS: particularly Off using his own clothes to supplement Khai's wardrobe. Still, this show firmly sits right over the awkward line between BL and queerness that makes me uncomfortable with the genre sometimes.

Third's reticence to Khai only makes sense to me in a world where The Knowing occurs, and yet this is mostly a show in the bubble. So much of what's wrong with Third is because he's let the fantasy of romance films cloud his ability to have a mutually beneficial relationship with someone he loves. I do love when romance interrogates itself, and yet it feels like a hugely missed opportunity to discuss how queer people cannot rely on the presumptions of heteronormativity when building relationships with each other.

Moreover, I struggle with Khai's change narrative because I am not entirely certain who it's for. It reminds me of the Mulan problem, where we have a character who defies norms and expectations and it almost feels like the character exists to point to them and say, "You're not them." I have been hurt by guys like Khai, and none of them changed in a way that ever led to reconciliation for me. It's something I struggle with as I watch this, and it makes me wonder what the outcome of presenting this will be or the femmes and the gays who watch this since the Khai's of the world aren't watching.

Still, I will say that this show has incredibly fun structure if you know the major beats of the films used as the title for each episode. I think Off plays a jerk you begrudgingly want to root for really well. I think Mike actually did a really good job in this show and I apologize to Bone for being so pissy three years ago. Gun is beautiful and so easy to empathize with, but I gotta say that Third is not my favorite character of his.

I am glad @lurkingshan burned her coupons to make me revisit this show, and I've enjoyed having @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm to talk about how I was feeling about things along the way. I don't think I love this show the way you three do, but it is a well-executed narrative doing some interesting things with the romance genre. My lingering hangups, and why I can't take it to a 9, have to do with the mixed bag of queerness in this. Third feels like a repressed gay, and Khai has a legit bisexual awakening, but the other cultural context being missing means it never connects for me as a queer narrative.

This is something I'm thinking about a lot as we head into Cooking Crush, because OffGun always leaves me a bit shaky on that front. On paper it's gay, but it never exactly feels gay for me.

Also tagging @twig-tea by request.

[djsherriff-responses]

Personal opinions and general character design critique regarding the Nymphs from Rayman (spoiler: they all suffer from having same face/body syndrome and the designers being too horny to consider other design elements)

Betilla: I feel her origins redesign was a downgrade from her whimsical style in the first game, but I also do understand why they wanted to change her, as origins was meant as a reboot of the franchise and they wanted Rayman to be the only limbless in the Glade of Dreams. But since origins ended up not being a series reboot (with its plot only existing in code) and Rayman having skins/costumes who are meant to be different limbless characters anyways , changing Betilla drastically was already meaningless in the long run , much less the choice to make her be a basic hot nymph

Outside of it being impossible to Google her name in front of family , I personally don’t mind how she looks in Origins as the red hair contrasts really nicely with the greens, if you really wanna push some symbolism imagery here you can make arguments the red + green is meant to be reminiscent of flowers or berries. Ultimately though it is just a green bikini outfit with thigh highs and the only real connection to her role as the nymph of the forest/jungle area of the game is the colours, and maybe the odd stitch work pattern

Which is a bit of shame as you can easily replace the blue stars of her old design with an actual star-ish looking flower called Bletilla (literally one letter off from her actual name) or other flora

I don’t think the issue was they wanted to give Betilla a redesign that had sex appeal , I just think they went in the wrong direction with it. Considering that she played a large role in the old educational games and she was a sort of mentor figure to Rayman (if not just straight up his mother depending on one’s headcanons), they could’ve given Betilla a personality and sex appeal by making her a hot teacher type character (who may or may not count as a milf), hell give her signs of age like small wrinkles to really get the point across she’s older than most of the player characters, and she’s aged like spicy fine wine

Her design in the first game is adorable while giving her the vibes of a mature fairy god mother type mentor, but I don’t think it would work in the more modern Rayman games without some updated tweaks. It is pretty though and does has more personality than her origins design, and the other nymphs for that matter

Holly: I like that there’s some actual details on her and some colour variation compared to her sisters, even if she’s 3 out of 6 nymphs whose main colour is some shade of blue

Besides giving her an outfit that isn’t a skirt and bra, I think her design could better reflect that her domain is the desert of dijiridoos by having some musical elements to her design. It’s kinda odd her tattoos/body paint (which do look good on her and her skin tone) don’t reference musical notes at least, wasted opportunity there

I have this issue with Edith and Annetta as well, but I’m a bit confused about why dead animals seems like a popular fashion choice for these ladies , especially since (in the origins game) none of the nymphs are shown as fighters (not saying they’re incapable, the game just doesn’t show them as such) and we’re not giving lore hints about it? I’ll talk more on this issue when I get to the other two , but it’s odd that Holly’s domain is populated by birds and she’s wearing a bird skull

Was it a nightmare and she kill it? Is it a beloved pet and she couldn’t part with them even after death? 🤷‍♀️

I can’t really think of any alternatives for her or the other two animal hat sisters atm, but at least it’s looks badass even if it doesn’t do much personality wise, so points for looking cool at least

Edith: Edith I think is the worst design of the sisters , hands down, no competition. I mean , what is there to really say about her? “Oh we have a level based around a combination of spicy food and ice drinks with dragon butlers , how should we design this chick?”

“Just put her in red with a lizard hat”

Almost nothing about her design reflects her domain besides that she’s blonde and wears red , and that’s only half of the domain she’s meant to be part off. Her outfit pattern could’ve at least have some reference to the ice levels, or give her literally anything to connect her to those ice levels

I also don’t like how her hair is styled, the colour is fine but the shape looks ugly

Incredibly morbid Edith walks around with a dead butler on her head, especially considering the final boss/king of her level is also a dragon. Unlike Holly and Annetta, I can’t even give Edith credit for looking cool because it’s just more red on a very red and bland design

…… do you think Edith uses her corpse hat as a hand puppet?

Annetta: While I think it’s a weird choice to have nymphs of nature walk around with corpse head gear (much less ones of their domain’s general population) I think Annetta is the most justified of the nymph sisters to be wearing a hat made of a dead animal

Considering that her domain has a notable fishing population and she’s already dressed in fish scales, Annetta wearing a fish skull does actually contribute to showing the lore of her as a character and her connection to her domain. Unlike Holly and Edith , I don’t need to come up with some theory about their fashion choices when Annetta’s reflects already existing lore in origins (what little of it at least)

I personally do think the outfit looks ugly and plain uncomfortable, but I will give this design some credit for having one of the more visually detailed designs by virtue of her scales alone, and it actually makes sense for the nymph whose domain is the literal ocean to be in a skimpy outfit, even if her shell bra has to be glued on to her boobs

Unlike Edith’s outfit colour which is just red, Annetta’s has various shades of blues and teals that are reminiscent of the sea. It’s pretty I like it

Helena: Much like Edith there’s not that much to say here but what I can say is mostly positive

Helena’s a pretty standard design of “blonde chick in cool blues with white fluff details” and yeah that’s generic usually, but here I really like her. I think it’s how the fur and cloth looks textured along how her hair front is styled that makes her incredibly cute to me

Yeah, Helena is a simple but cute character design

Weird that a mountain nymph who has to live through cold weather wears a skimpy outfit with her bare thighs out , but I’m gonna assume that’s because she , much like her sisters, was designed to be sexy first and given aesthetics after they made the body model

Fée de la Mort/VooDoo Mama/Big Mama: As cool as she looks, when compared to both her monster form and the other nymphs , you can tell she wasn’t planned to be one of them, especially when you look up Mamma Hite

I bring that up because while Fee has a good design, she is also a visual metaphor that reflects Origins’ identity: a failed series reboot whose plot was scrapped in favour of goofy extremism (or sex appeal in the nymphs case)

So about Fee’s actual design: I personally don’t like the pink used on her and would’ve liked her Nymph form to reflect the monster form besides the hair

probs to the fact she’s the only nymph with her own pose which already gives her a lot of personality , but the combination of her tattoos, bone jewellery and her baggy looking eyes really sells the fact she’s from the land of the livid dead and thus sticks out amongst the other fairies, even if you ignored the bat wings she has

visually she does work as a undead fairy of the underworld who likes to rock and roll, so job well done with that

I kinda do wish they stuck with the frog though

[gubbles-owo]

When whipping up Railgun in two weeks' time for a game jam, I aimed to make the entire experience look and feel as N64-esque as I could muster in that short span. But the whole game was constructed in Godot, a modern engine, and targeted for PC. I just tried to look the part. Here is the same bedroom scene running on an actual Nintendo 64:

I cannot overstate just how fucking amazing this is.

Obviously this is not using Godot anymore, but an open source SDK for the N64 called Libdragon. The 3D support is still very much in active development, and it implements-- get this-- OpenGL 1.1 under the hood. What the heck is this sorcery...

UH OH, YOU'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN THE GEEK ZONE! NO ESCAPE NO ESCAPE NO ESCAPE EHUEHUHEUHEUHEUHUEH While there is a gltf importer for models, I didn't want to put my faith in a kinda buggy importer with an already (in my experience) kinda buggy model format. I wanted more control over how my mesh data is stored in memory, and how it gets drawn. So instead I opted for a more direct solution: converting every vertex of every triangle of every object in the scene by fucking hand.

THERE ARE NEARLY NINE HUNDRED LINES OF THIS SHIT. THIS TOOK ME MONTHS. And these are just the vertices. I had to figure out triangle drawing PER VERTEX. You have to construct each triangle counterclockwise in order for the front of the face to be, well, the front. In addition, starting the next tri with the last vertex of the previous tri is the most efficient, so I plotted out so many diagrams to determine how to most efficiently draw each mesh. And god the TEXTURES. When I painted the textures for this scene originally, I went no larger than 64 x 64 pixels for each. The N64 has an infamously minuscule texture cache of 4kb, and while there were some different formats to try and make the most of it, I previously understood this resolution to be the maximum. Guess what? I was wrong! You can go higher. Tall textures, such as the closet and hallway doors, were stored as 32 x 64 in Godot. On the actual N64, however, I chose the CI4 texture format, aka 4-bit color index. I can choose a palette of 16 colors, and in doing so bump it up to 48 x 84.

On the left, the original texture in Godot at 32 x 64px. On the right, an updated texture on the N64 at 48 x 84px. Latter screenshot taken in the Ares emulator.

The window, previously the same smaller size, is now a full 64 x 64 CI4 texture mirrored once vertically. Why I didn't think of this previously in Godot I do not know lol

Similarly, the sides of the monitors in the room? A single 32 x 8 CI4 texture. The N64 does a neat thing where you can specify the number of times a texture repeats or mirrors on each axis, and clip it afterwards. So I draw a single vent in the texture, mirror it twice horizontally and 4 times vertically, adjusting the texture coordinates so the vents sit toward the back of the monitor.

The bookshelf actually had to be split up into two textures for the top and bottom halves. Due to the colorful array of books on display, a 16 color palette wasn't enough to show it all cleanly. So instead these are two CI8 textures, an 8-bit color index so 256 colors per half!! At a slightly bumped up resolution of 42 x 42. You can now kind of sort of tell what the mysterious object on the 2nd shelf is. It's. It is a sea urchin y'all it is in the room of a character that literally goes by Urchin do ddo you get it n-

also hey do u notice anything coo,l about the color of the books on each shelf perhaps they also hjint at things about Urchin as a character teehee :3c I redid the ceiling texture anyways cause the old one was kind of garbage, (simple noise that somehow made the edges obvious when tiled). Not only is it still 64px, but it's now an I4 texture, aka 4-bit intensity. There's no color information here, it's simply a grayscale image that gets blended over the vertex color. So it's half the size in memory now! Similarly the ceiling fan shadow now has a texture on it (it was previously just a black polygon). The format is IA4, or 4-bit intensity alpha. 3 bits of intensity (b/w), 1 bit of alpha (transparency). It's super subtle but it now has some pleasing vertex colors that compliment the lighting in the room!

Left, Godot. Right, N64. All of the texture resolutions either stayed the same, or got BIGGER thanks to the different texture formats the N64 provides. Simply put:

THE SCENE LOOKS BETTER ON THE ACTUAL N64.

ALSO IT RUNS AT 60FPS. MOSTLY*. *It depends on the camera angle, as tried to order draw calls of everything in the scene to render as efficiently as I could for most common viewing angles. Even then there are STILL improvements I know I can make, particularly with disabling the Z-buffer for some parts of the room. And I still want to add more to the scene: ambient sounds, and if I can manage it, the particles of dust that swirl around the room. Optimization is wild, y'all. But more strikingly... fulfilling a childhood dream of making something that actually renders and works on the first video game console I ever played? Holy shit. Seeing this thing I made on this nearly thirty-year-old console, on this fuzzy CRT, is such a fucking trip. I will never tire of it.

[poupeesdecirque]

Little Roomtour - July 2024 (Pt 1)

I was asked to show my hobby related rooms a few days ago and after I finally went through a lot of cleaning (when you focus on just crafting and nothing else material gets .. everywhere) and some rearranging I can share some updated photos.

As you might see on the top we start with the Hobby/Doll Room itself and I will see how many photos I get into one post. I will overall share 3 of my rooms (guess bathroom/kitchen is not that interesting :') ) to show how it is with a lot of dolls and other collectable hobbies.

Let's start with the entrance to the crafts room, I have a garlant with memories on the wall along with postcards and then tickets to events I will attend the next months. The entrance itself is just closed by a noren, I ... don't really like my doors closed aside from for sleeping. My part of the house is small due the fact I am under the roof and the rooms feel bigger with doors open.

Right when you come in you have my crafts table where I sew and sometimes do other crafts (I still kinda prefer to do the handcrafts in my bedroom... mostly on the floor don't ask). I have aquired a new shelf for storage and have yet to sort out things but didn't have the time to before I left for a trip.

Over the desk there is a little spot for photos from Cons.

Then we come to a more interesting corner which is the seafolk doll corner and the costume storage. As you can see I went a bit further with the Clown Allen Costume already. The dolls here are a bit hard to spot the room itself is quite dark and while the little cabinets HAVE lamps the batteries run out so fast I don't bother to replace them every few weeks ^^' I didn't take close ups of the displayed dolls this time but can do if anyone is interested in the depths of the displays.

On the other side of the room we have my 3 first big doll cabinets with a variety of my dolls in there. Aside the DGM dolls you can spot almost all Fandolls here and some OC ones as well. In the bottom cabinets are my TG Figures/Merch to be found.

Then another major piece in this room, my art wall which has commissioned or gifted art for me (it's not all the rest is in a folder). In the middle is a newly arranged shelf I am still having progress on but it's now waaay better than before, it was mainly a "just shove the dolls somewhere" storage and now it actually looks like I have thought about where to put the dolls.

Underneath you find more little diorama cubes mainly for the pumpkins, for the newest one I have the wip post queued up it will follow later on. The Frankenweenie merch will most likely move to the new shelf to make space for dolls when time comes.

Theeeen the D.Gray-man themed cabinets, one day I will do a group photo I promise! I know Allen is missing here (well some Allens...) they are in my bedroom where I have some dolls on display as well. Under the cabinets is a part of my merch displayed.

Then on the other wall we have the more circus themed dolls and more of my merch (which will move down to make space for more dolls as said I am not done rearranging I will do that with time as some dolls haven't arrived yet). I just saw I chose a weird angle for the last photo, sadly I am right now not home and can't add another shot here but you get the impression how it's set up.

That's it for the doll/hobby room C:

[probablyaseamonster]

I just saw the trailer for the next Cult of the Lamb update and I'm having fuuuun/devious glee.

Sidenote but it'll be coming out a few days before my b-day so that's great! (I totally didn't need anymore signs from the gods that I need irl friends before I snap hehooo)

So, regarding the alternate universe vessel character.

(so far I've seen like 5 names that I love to death but I have a feeling I know the one in particular that is gonna settle before the others get considered. I could make a list if anyone wants to debate 'cause fandoms can settle Fast and I think there's some potential for layered contrast and just settling for the easy option would be disappointing. But I'm not the biggest fan anyway so maybe I shouldn't be so arrogant about it.)

I noticed how they were wearing purple robes and were often in purple lighting, obviously, the way everyone else did, but something might be wrong with my eyes cuz their crown colour seemed like, straight-up blue to me? I do have an eye injury atm so maybe that's legit. Seemed kinda glaring tho/pos

So now I've got two diverging paths I'm *scrawling* over/pos:

1- AU where Shamura is the one bound in chains (and Narinder the role of think no evil) and the player character serves the god of War instead of Death.

Look, the animatics just write themselves. Any God of War scene? You can warp and adapt. Also, the "Warrior of the Mind" animatic for anyone who got obsessed with Fate: the Musical recently. It's just potential!

I also like the idea of instead of the dynamic being black cat x deceptively wholesome shepherd, it's intellectual spider x scruffy goat with a knife.

On the OTHER hand, hear me out,

2- Kallamar & Narinder roleswap AU. This could have the personalities swap version (something something scaredy-cat), or a fun to imagine scenario where Kallamar became jaded enough to the point of nearly paralleling Narinder in formidable vengefulness while also having been just as much of a coward in the past. Basically he grew some courage but at what cost?

This would probably mean that Narinder stayed however he was before the betrayal and imprisonment, probably being the one to lose his ears, and maybe taking the role in the narrative as the sibling to run from the Goat after the two younger gods got taken out and the middle child realized he was next? I can't imagine Narinder throwing Shamura under the bus like that, maybe it was more like a "you can't kill me, it'll fuck everything up! You have to spare me or the last fight will take place in an even more fucked-up apocalyptic hellscape!").

If Narinder was still the one to first express discontent with Death, wonder how Sickness being restrained in the afterlife affected Narinder's situation... Or what if Narinder was like Shamura, and the two were conspirators, instead of Death by War it was Death by Plague? And Death stayed free but went deaf or insane? What would Kallamar have to gain from the idea of breaking past his cosmic role, thinking "okay but what if, immortality was an option?" remixed to be uh, maybe something to do with health? Immunity? Something bordering Frankenstein as an affront to nature?

As you can see I'm putting thoughts and curiosity into both ideas, the only thing I kinda hope becomes mainstream fanon is that the Goat is a bit like Lamb's opposite - wheras one is welcoming and soft but capable of horrors at night, and of course being a badass monster fighter - contrasted with an equally small and powerful but ig more unhinged-seeming up close for the first couple interactions (probably recruited individuals with a pitch like "look I'm the one with the weapon here, so you're gonna wanna get behind me even if you don't trust me with access to things") but then shows glimpses of a heart of gold that makes followers feel safe enough to stay. As well as a sense of responsibility and like, actual leadership skills lol.

Just, Sheep / Goat religious allegories make me very sad and I think this silly little game would make me feel better about things.

I can't WAIT to see how Bamsara handles this update. We gettin' the multiverse canon? Hopefully it doesn't get too crazy, and we stick with just the two purple/blue and red characters for a little while.

I wonder what other satanic animals could be vessels? Wolf, definitely, donkey makes sense also, and pig is usually ascribed with gluttony but there's something that could be done with cleanliness or intelligence but percieved otherwise... I also think there's something that could be done with birds though, like I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere that the Mourning Dove is angel coded, much like the Lamb. Could just be the Dove also, though I was kinda hoping that the Symbol of World Peace wouldn't be a drect Christian symbol, which was a wishful hope.

Um... yeah! Just wanted to get my thoughts out! And there's a certain other goatlike character who's been occupying my thoughts recently, dw, I'll get to that soon. I'll explain then.

um. I don't know if this is a function so I'm not even gonna try lol but I hope I remember to come back to see Bamsara's initial reaction to the alternate universe implicated update! Oh yeah and a daycare centre, that's a relief for everyone involved whoof! Hope there's an NPC willing to take up the job, and who would of course enjoy being around kids.

[yume-x-hanabi]

So, bit of a life update because it's been... almost two months? since I last properly logged here (I had some stuff in the queue, but I think it ran out after a while, woops). Getting a bit personal, so the rest is under cut.

Honestly the main reasons are simply, I'm busy, and exhausted. Not a good combination lol

I haven't had proper relaxing time for me since at least a year and a half. Summer holidays are supposed to be the time when I can finally relax responsibility-free for a month and a half to get over usually hectic second semesters. Except last July my grandma had a fall, and while she's fine, long story short she's now in a nursing home and we spent the whole summer and lots of free time during the following months clearing her house (which was. a mess).

On top of that I'd bought an apartment (yay) in a building that's still under construction, and while that's great because it means I could customize it the way I want, it also meant spending a lot of time going here and there to choose floorings, furniture, and lots appointments (bank, notary...) etc etc. And now that it's in the final stage we're running into issues because the notaries aren't agreeing about some conditions, so the deed signing date recently had to be postponed, which'll leave me very little time to schedule the actual move (I have to be out of my current place by the end of the month). Super stressful. And also busy--spent nearly two days last week playing telephone game with the developer, the notary's office, the bank... and we still haven't solved the issue as of now orz

On top of that, this past school year has been super intense, I took on more admin responsibilities, which, while fun, consume a lot of time and focus, which put me behind on my regular class prep and grading, which just generally added to the mental load. Also I had to take lessons on Saturday mornings for my teaching certificate, which is also something that ate into my time and energy this year.

This all kinda came crashing down on me in early June when I just... kinda shut down for about two weeks. I had 4 super important tasks/projects to do, and for those two weeks I made progress on none of them. I just kinda froze, not knowing where to start, and my focus was allllll over the place, could not keep it on one thing for the life of me (there may or may not be suspicion of adhd at play, I'll have to look into it more and see someone about it, but... no time atm orz)

I managed to pull through in the end (well, one of the things is postponed to August so I have more time to do it thankfully), but I'm completely mentally exhausted. So yeah, I kinda gave up checking tumblr for a while, bc I just didn't have the mental capacity for that.

In happier news Missy is still as silly as ever, my niece is the cutest, I got a baby blahaj yesterday to go with my big one, Dreamcatcher's new mini-album is wonderful, and once everything is solved and I can move in it'll be awesome to live in my own place. Also I went to TwoSetViolin's world tour show in Berlin last week-end and it was awesome :D (might make a separate post about it later)

And now I need to start packing. Gonna be a busy month again 😅

[therulerofallpotatos]

Wyler Fanfiction Rec List Part 1

For @ourloveisdahliaoh, here’s that rec list I said I’d make.

his bonnie on the side by melliesgrant

Summary: in which wednesday's original plan to escape nevermore and jericho works and tyler joins her. 

Words: 33, 822 Chapters: 4/4 Rated: G

This fanfiction is one of my absolute favorites. I’m rereading it right now and it’s just as fun to read as the first time around when I was stalking my emails for new updates.

Just the Two (Three) of Us by Charlie Rose (Night_Owl6)

Summary: What if Wednesday found out about the Hyde's identity at the beginning of the show? What would change? With one question solved, nearly a hundred more pop up but Wednesday is up for the challenge. Watch as Tyler is dragged along while he and everyone else learns one critical thing about Wednesday.

She doesn't share.

Words: 76,326 Chapters: 15/? Rated: M

I reread this fic recently as well and it was as wonderful as the first time around. I’ve fallen deeper in love with it with every chapter. The plot is good, the characters feel real, and you can feel how close Tyler and Wednesday are getting alongside her.

Grapevine Lovers by Luckyricochet

Summary: Is it a really a high school dance if there’s not at least one scandal to come out of it that rocks the student body? In the aftermath of the Rave’n, rumors are flying and Tyler’s caught right in the middle of them, along with what he may or may not have gotten up to that night with his date. Welcome to Jericho High School, Wednesday Addams. 

Words: 4,040 Chapters: 1/1 Rated: T

This fic was actually written based on this post by @luckyricochet. It’s fun as hell and a true gift. Between Jericho High, Lucas’ crew being idiots, and Thing scaring the shit out of Tyler what more could you want?

What if we get out of this hellhole town? by HatsforBats

Summary: "With the media storm and the law on our tails, we've got this kinda Bonnie and Clyde thing going on."

OR

What if Wednesday hadn't run into Rowan on the night of the harvest festival? What if Tyler was able to help her leave town?

What if he went with her? What if they navigated dealing with his Hyde together?

Words: 30,680 Chapters: 12/? Rated: M

This is another “they run off at the festival” au that has my heart in a chokehold.

We’ve got violence. We’ve got teenage runaways. We have Thing. We have Tyler running away from Laurel, struggling with his own identity, and chasing freedom with Wednesday. We have crime and panic and Jericho’s pov as their case catches like wildfire. I’m not usually a fan of meta in my fanfictions as this leans towards in the latest chapter, but fuck if it doesn’t matter because this is good. the tension is only rising between them and the plot is only getting more interesting.

Paint Me in Black by Universe30

Summary: Soulmate AU where everyone is born seeing only black and white until the first touch of their soulmate. Except Wednesday Addams. She has always been able to see every color except black. Every day, she curses her soulmate for withholding the color black from her. She has no plans of ever accepting her soulmate, but when she meets them she's sworn to enact her revenge. They've tortured her with a rainbow of colors all her life, it's only fair after all. 

Words: 13,356 Chapters: 4/? Rated: T

I love this fic. I’ve been reading it since the day it posted and every update in my emails brings a smile to my face. It’s a delightfully Addams twist on the classic “soulmates see color when meeting their soulmate” au. I liked how they handled Wednesday’s feeling on soulmates before and after Tyler because I didn’t feel like reading a drawn out angst over having a soulmate but at the same time they didn’t pretend she never rejected the idea of having one. We get a nice mix of Tyler and Wednesday povs that are transitioned well. The latest chapter in particular holds a special place in my heart. 

When Is a Monster Not a Monster? by wincestation

Summary: “You can ask me, you know.” Tyler stated eventually. “Ask you what?” “Anything,” such a simple word, spoken with such compuser, and yet Wednesday could hear the underlying tremble in it. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Wednesday huffed. “How do you know? Maybe I just missed the Hyde.” As the words left her lips, she could almost sense the shift in the room. Tyler’s shoulders tensed, his knuckles whitened, and she could swear his hazel eyes flashed red. “You better not say things like that,” Tyler said through clenched teeth. “Why not?” “Because he can hear you.”

Words: 46,376 Chapters: 18/20 Rated: E

This s2 au can’t not make the list! it’s @wincestation ffs! I’ve waxed poetic about this fic multiple times in Wylerserver18+ and I’ll do it again. This is one of the few stories I’ve read that heavily featured a split personality that didn’t immediately turn me off. the transitions are smooth, the plot is compelling, and the sex scenes are hot af. You can’t go wrong with a fic calling Nevermore out for the hypocrisy of preaching acceptance and banning hydes for the same reason normie schools definitely banned werewolves, vampires, and gorgons.

The Summer I Turned Pretty by SeventhRabbit

Summary: Tyler Galpin runs away from Jericho leaving behind a father he barely knows and a mother six feet under. He takes his car and just follows the roads wherever they go. Wednesday is running from her mothers shadow and a family that holds more bad than good. Hitchhiking as far away as she can. Tyler picks her up and unwillingly becomes tangled up in a crazy stalker and a potential murder plot that may find him six feet under alongside his mother. And he may pick up a few more strays on the way but hey who’s counting?

Words: 2,435 Chapters:1/? Rated: NR

This fic is just starting out and it already lives rent free in my head. This is such an Addams meetcute and I love it to pieces. Alternate meetings like this are the best and I am very excited to see where this fic takes us.

Hickeys...Of course by coolsmartfunnypopular

Summary: Enid sees hickeys on Wednesday's neck. Details follow. 

Words: 4,013 Chapters:1/1 Rated: E

This is such a fun time, honestly. Teenage shenanigans and possesive kinky fun. 

Akrasia by Natattack95

Summary: All her life, Wednesday was told she would be a fierce alpha, just like her mother. She was so certain of it... until she saw the boy with the curly hair, the soft smile and a scent that left her breathless. 

Words: 2,838 Chapters: 1/? Rated: E

Omega Wednesday meets Alpha Tyler and it’s glorious. Wednesday is just as fierce and Tyler is just as smitten. classic omegaverse soulmate-esque shenanigans meets the addams family and it promises to be an amazing time for anyone who loves the genre.

Before by GoblinoftheGreen

Summary: What if Wednesday had arrived a little earlier during Tyler's self discovery, What if it was something the two of them figured out together? What if Tyler revealed himself immediately, if not accidentally after Rowans death. 

Words: 19,180 Chapters: 12/? Rated: M

I’m hooked on this fic, man. It’s amazing. I love the idea of Tyler revealing himself immediately and them working together the whole time. Now don’t turn off at the first chapter. They do start spacing the paragraphs from the 2nd chapter onwards and the first chapter is written so you barely notice. I didn’t even notice until I skimmed it again for this post. I adore how easily Wednesday just uses sex and status as a horny teenager for alibis. It feels very Wednesday who I can’t see as someone who would make a big deal out it as a rejection of the slut vs pure virgin narrative. I just can’t see her deifying her virginity and I can 100% see her using sex as an alibi the moment it becomes the most logical choice for her. Also it’s hilarious. Fake out make outs for the win. Especially when they evolve into actual make outs.

[minorfamilysupremacy]

Not an ask I just want to thank you because like most of us, I am also a grown adult who often can't keep updated on most things and honestly hearing that Bible is acting childish ..kinda makes sense and also I too am pissed off and over BOC

this post is for the handful of anons in my inbox and also @claudiasharon, who wanted to know what the fuck is going on:

while you're most assuredly welcome, i want to be clear that whenever i post about this shit, i am not enjoying the callout aspect of it. callout posts got us into the original mess and as a general rule, i loathe them. i'm just a hurt and furious former stan who got taken for a ride by several shitheads, and bible scrambling to revise history like we all got collective amnesia or are too fucking stupid to remember things that happened all of two years ago makes me even angrier.

his most recent claim, in an interview that hasn't been released yet -- only the promo is out -- is this (subtitles are in the promo, not fan-translated):

yes, everyone, as usual, bible is the true victim, and fucking pond even moreso, despite the fact that BOC has since produced a reality show, a movie, and two television shows (as well as one they made and then just never released, i guess? sorry wuju), and bible himself had 50 engagements the year build's career went to hell. it's a wonder he can do the interview with the boss' boot shoved so far down his throat, in all honesty.

he is also making up sob stories, complete with crocodile tears, about growing up poor (he grew up rich and went to an international school) and almost failing at his dream and letting the family down (he admittedly struggled with acting, but was a working model and studying engineering, an extremely lucrative field, so it's not like the family would have starved without KP).

it is insane how obtuse, callous, and audacious this fucking shit is. first off, we have eyes. we saw your fucking interviews and your quotes and the parasocial dweebs on twitter probably have your five-year record of bowel movements timed to the second. (of course, my information is coming from parasocial dweebs on twitter, so.) secondly, what the literal fuck is wrong with you? are you really looking at the guy who got his career destroyed, almost driven to suicide, had years' worth of dirty laundry leaked at a deliberately-slow trickle to instill maximum damage, and going, 'well, actually, pond and i had it worse :('

pond chose to sit and wring his hands uselessly over a situation he could have prevented in the first place had he banned sucking and fucking between coworkers at the outset. you continue to flap your jaws ceaselessly and try to rewrite history -- 'nuh uh! i NEVER cared about build!' -- like the internet isn't forever and a whole hell of a lot of people can't pull receipts at the drop of a hat. you are an unprofessional, mean-spirited, heartless, dishonest, unbelievably noxious cunt masquerading as a human being. you continue baiting the bear that is social media and then whining when the bear takes your arm off. both of you SHUT THE FUCK UP about build. SHUT THE FUCK UP. he is out of your lives. he is doing nothing to you. he has not mentioned your fucking name once since he apologized for the last set of leaks, while you have been spiraling into the image of a middle-aged dad who's been divorced since 2013 but still can't get over how his bitch ex-wife wronged him.

and even without build in the picture, you come off like a spoiled little brat. when your heinous show finished (and thank god it has), the first thing you did was run to social media to bitch about the ending and how much you hated it. couldn't even be professional for five fucking minutes, huh? you think you're some kind of golden god because you're the boss' current fave and you're sleeping with his niece on the DL? (by the way, homie, your subterfuge with that one is about as well-kept a secret as harvey weinstein was. we all know you're fucking and have been for ages.)

newsflash, shitbag! pond cares about you inasmuch as you're of utility to him! as long as you behave yourself and playact as his personal propaganda machine, then you're fine, but do you really think that the second he so much as sniffs a hint of liability on you that he won't drop you like a hot potato? i, for one, fucking hope he does and soon, because watching someone who was once heralded as one of the brightest new talents in BL prostitute themselves for the whims of a greedy, lying narcissist and torch mountains of international goodwill in favor of making a career as a professional victim makes my stomach turn. if you ever take a mike's hard look at yourself and realize what a chump you've been played for, i hope it fucking hurts you like watching you play us for chumps for so long did to us as a fanbase. but i sincerely doubt you will ever wise up, because isn't it more lucrative and convenient to be a soulless ghoul and not have to take accountability for being an asshole?

eat shit, dude. i hope when the ship finally goes down and pond's tied you to the mast, that it was all worth it.