#update: dad says it's probably a few months. a year at best. :(

[supercantaloupe]

also. Apollo went to the oncologist today. not good :(

[glenscowboyhat]

i never lie (t.owens)

hi omg this is my first full-length tyler fic! actually my first full-length fic in like 3ish years so pls be kind 😭 this one is based off of the song i never lie by zach top, with a few little changes! i recommend listening to it beforehand but i don’t think you have to to understand what’s happening! i hope you like it 🥹

warnings. a few curse words, implied female reader but no actual pronouns i don’t think, implied smut but it’s like one sentence, and general bad writing lol, plus i really like commas apparently. lmk if there’s anything i missed!

pairing. tyler owens x reader, slight scott x reader

word count. 2k

꒰ well, it’s been some time, you still look like an angel ꒱

꒰ i heard you’re doin’ fine, got promoted back in april ꒱

it had been four months since you’d seen the infamous tyler owens when you spotted him across a random bar in nowheresville, oklahoma. “oh, hell,” you said, spinning your stool towards javi’s at the bar and putting a hand over your eyes.

“what’s the matter?” he asked, glancing behind you. “oh,” was all he muttered as he silently got up from his stool.

“wait, where are you going?”

“you’ve got company, darlin’,” he murmured before slipping behind you and out of sight. you spin your stool once more, confused, when you see him. “tyler,” you sigh.

“long time no see, honey.” he settles onto what was once your friend’s stool with a frustratingly beautiful smirk. “don’t you look gorgeous as ever.”

“did you need something, tyler?” you ask, trying to gather yourself. seeing him here four months after your breakup was jarring to say the least. you figured he’d probably be in this area. there were some massive storms that were supposed to come through within the next few days. you just didn’t know he’d pick this bar to grace with his presence.

“just surprised to see you here is all,” he said. “can’t believe they finally let you out of the office and into the field.”

just a month after your breakup with tyler, you started a job working with storm par. even though you hated what they stood for, all you wanted to do was help victims in the aftermath of destructive tornados. now that you obviously weren’t working with tyler and his crew anymore, you moved on to the next best thing, making it your mission to help instead of hurt. through everything, you had remained close with the rest of the wranglers, keeping them updated on your life. when tyler heard of your new position, he was absolutely livid. he couldn’t believe you’d move on to ‘sleeping with the enemy,’ as he called it, just one month after the devastating, explosive fight that ultimately ended your relationship.

you’d been working in storm par’s offices, planning each chase, for nearly a month before you were promoted in early april to join scott and javi in the field. once again, tyler was pissed when he found out. you’d already hurt him by even agreeing to work with the exploitative company, but now you were putting yourself in danger on top of that, and he wouldn’t be around to protect you. it killed him to think about anything happening to you, but he was so angry and resentful towards you about the whole situation. he let his pride and his hurt block out how his heart truly felt about you.

꒰ and you met someone, your dad says he’s okay ꒱

“and you met someone, i hear.” you had. well, kind of. about a month after starting at storm par, you were still torn up over tyler. just as you were now, though you’d never admit that to him. he’d really hurt you all those months ago. anyway, scott was there to help you forget about the tornado wrangler. you both knew he was just a rebound, but scott quite enjoyed the late nights he spent with you in dingy motel rooms, and, more than anything, he really loved pissing tyler off. he knew that being with you got under tyler’s skin in a way that nothing else did, and you relished in the attention he showed you. though, it would never compare to that of the arkansas cowboy you’d grown to love so much.

“yeah, i guess so,” you meekly nodded. being so close to him again was making your chest burn and your eyes sting, and this conversation was terribly awkward. you wished the sticky floor of the bar would just open up and swallow you whole.

꒰ well, i’ve never been better, things are going my way ꒱

you were beginning to wonder what his motives were for coming over here. that was, until he began to speak again. “well, i just wanted to tell ya that the fans really miss you on the streams. although, did you hear we hit a million subscribers?” boone had excitedly told you about it the day it happened. you were thrilled for them, but you couldn’t ignore the pang in your chest that stemmed from the reminder that you wouldn’t be there to celebrate with them all. “yeah, ty. looks like things are really going your way,” you smiled. you were happy for him. you had to be.

꒰ i sleep like a baby; i never show up late for work ꒱

꒰ i don’t drink whiskey; i don’t know how it feels to hurt ꒱

“mhm,” he hummed. “i barely know how it feels to hurt anymore. i sleep like a baby, and we’ve caught every storm we’ve been in the area for for weeks now.”

you will the tears from your eyes as you force a smile. “that’s really great, tyler. i’m glad to hear you’re doing so well.”

꒰ oh, and i ain’t been lonely since you said goodbye; i wish i could say i miss you, but you know i never lie ꒱

꒰ yeah, i met somebody too, she’s a model out in l.a. ꒱

꒰ and she’s begging me to move, she says malibu is really great ꒱

꒰ ain’t decided if i’m going or not, but at the end of the day…꒱

“thanks. i met someone too, you know. her name’s emily. she lives in the dallas area, does modeling for a couple magazines out there. she says it’s really great.”

your throat squeezes even tighter; you know he’s trying to get a ride out of you on purpose now. you know, deep down, that you’ve hurt him by going out with scott. you steel yourself before responding. “oh, yeah? you gonna sell your place in little rock?” he half scoffs, expecting a different reaction. “ain’t decided yet. but at the end of the day, i’m good wherever i am.”

you give him a half-hearted grin, already starting to slip off your stool. “i’m happy for you, ty.” you say before subtly bolting out the entrance of the poorly lit room.

the second you hear the heavy door slam behind you, you begin gasping for air. hearing how well tyler was doing without you was quickly sending you into a tizzy. you try to stall your tears and calm your breathing, but the air around you is too thick, your skin too warm, and the hurt too intense. your chest feels as if it’s closing in on itself and you’re not sure what to do, and then you see them. the other wranglers are suddenly surrounding you. “y/n? are you alright? what happened?” lily asked. you shake out your hands, trying to control your breathing. “it’s-” deep, shaky breath. “it’s nothing. i’m fine. i’m fine.” they all continue to eye you, not quite knowing what to say, until boone speaks up. “oh, shit,” he whispered, mostly to himself, though you all heard it. “what?” dani asked. boone looks at her with wide eyes, “tyler’s been in there for a while already.”

you finally get your breathing semi- under control and nod. “i’m okay, i just- tyler was telling me how well he and you all are doing and it just.. kinda threw me. but i’m alright.” they all share a puzzled look before looking back at you with furrowed brows. “he told you he was doing well?” you nod once more. “yeah, said he sleeps like a baby, and that you guys haven’t missed a good storm in weeks,” you explain. they all collectively scoff before boone shakes his head. “that’s such bullshit. i had to share a motel room with him a few weeks back, he didn’t stop tossing and turning ‘til nearly four in the morning.” your brows raise. “yeah, and we literally missed what would’ve been a stunner just last week cause he couldn’t get his shit together in time,” lily adds. you shake your head in disbelief. “he told me he met someone. emily, i think?”

“oh, you mean that girl he went on three dates with before he decided she wasn’t what he wanted and sent her back to texas?”

now it was your turn to scoff. “what? why would he lie?” you had a little bit of an idea, but you didn’t want to get your own hopes up for no reason.

“y/n. you and i both know that he told that girl it wouldn’t work out because he’s not over you,” dani said. your eyes blur again. god, you really wish they’d stop doing that. “i- i don’t know why he’d tell me he found someone else if he hadn’t,” your voice breaks as dexter quietly slips away from the group and into the crowded bar. “who knows why tyler does anything? all i know is that he loves you more than-” she’s interrupted by the heavy door behind you busting open. “y/n,” tyler breaths. you’re frozen, eyes glued to him. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to upset you. i’m not with emily, and i haven’t slept properly in months. i miss you like crazy,” he steps toward you hesitantly. “i promised you i’d never lie to you and i broke it. all i ever do is hurt.”

the dam finally breaks and your tears begin to soak your reddened cheeks. “nothing is going the way i want it to now that you’re not with us, with me. i just wanted you to miss me the way i miss you but i went about it all wrong. i’m so sorry.”

you laugh humorlessly, “tyler, scott and i were never serious. he and i both knew that i never got over you. i miss you more than anything. i miss all of you guys,” you go to gesture behind you, suddenly realizing that the rest of the wranglers had disappeared, leaving the two of you to work this out. you turn back around with a small, watery smile on your lips. tyler has a twinkle in his eye as he takes another step toward you, hesitantly reaching for your hands. “honey, what’ll it take for you to take me back? i’m miserable without you.” his eyes are teary now, too.

your smile grows. “i’ll take you back, ty, as long as you promise to never lie to me again.”

he grins, his smile brighter than you think you’ve ever seen it as little tears drip from his eyes. “never again, baby. i promise, for real, this time.”

your laugh is genuine as you lean in to press your lips against his for the first time in far too long. as you pull away, your brows furrow once more. “how’d you know i was out here, anyway?”

tyler lightly squeezes your hips before answering, “dexter came into the bar just a few minutes before i came out here. he found me and told me that i better get my ass outside and try and get my girl back before it was too late. told me i had upset you pretty bad. i ran through the crowd as fast as i could to get to you; i had to tell you that i hadn’t meant to hurt you.”

you place your hands on top of his, running your thumbs over the tops of his knuckles. “it’s okay. i didn’t mean to hurt you either. i was just… having a hard time functioning without you and scott was there to take the edge off. i should’ve known it was a bad idea.”

he places a hand on your cheek, squeezing your hand with the other, still on your hip. he brings your lips to his again, putting all of the unspoken words and wasted time into the sweet kiss. “everything’s okay, now. but you gotta tell scott that it’s over between you.”

you giggle. “i’ll text him the minute we get back inside.” he lightly pinches your hip as he grins. “good. now come on, sweet thing. i’ve got a lot of time to make up for.” he slides his arm around your waist as the two of you begin to make your way back into the rowdy bar.

“hey, ty?”

“yeah, baby?”

“can i come back to the wranglers? storm par is so boring in comparison.”

he laughs loudly before proudly answering, “absolutely, honey. it’s great to have you back,” he responds before leaning in for one last sweet kiss.

꒰ wish i could say i hadn’t missed you, but you know i never lie. ꒱

[lazycats-stuff]

Hii! So you know the vigilante reader, jinx? I’m sorry but I love them sm so I want to ask for him x batfamily where he accidentally refers or calls Bruce dad or he refers to one his older brothers (Tim, Jason and dick) as his big brother?? Maybe you could fit both in one story? And their reactions to him calling them that because jinx is more comfortable with them but never really referred to them as family, SORRY ITS KINDA STUPID BUT YKK..

It's not stupid, it's adorable. I am most definitely putting both into the story.

Summary: Jinx gets more comfortable with his family.

Warnings: fluff, Jinx is too adorable

I'm running out of ideas for gifs...

Jinx has been here for officially a year and was kind of happy to say that he liked it here. He was now more comfortable with everyone, even with Damian. Although, he will deny saying that Damian is the best Robin until the day he dies.

But there was one thing that the family needed to do. And that was to celebrate his birthday. Bruce said that they were going to celebrate it no matter what and after a few days he found out when (Y/N)'s birthday was.

He wanted it to be a surprise, since it falls on a Friday and they could celebrate it after he got back from the internship at Wayne enterprises. So, Alfred and Bruce made sure that (Y/N) didn't get a single sniff of the surprise party.

They asked Jason to pick him up from his internship and to bring him here, but not to ruin the surprise. Jason said sure and then went his own way. Bruce went to get a present for (Y/N). Alfred was tasked with baking (Y/N)'s favorite cake, aka cheesecake. There was something about that cake that made (Y/N) crazy.

Naturally, Alfred baked it often, whenever he had ingredients. Bruce thought about what he was going to get and then he realized. He didn't officially adopt (Y/N), with the certificate. (Y/N) was just his ward and not really his son.

He had just a plan for that. Thankfully, he knows a lot of people who can speed it up. He already started the process, staring a week ago, but he needs to sped it up.

The others got him something else too. Damian was going to give him a small portrait that he painted over the course of a month. He took his time with it.

Dick got him a book on microtechnology that would help him with his internship, since he know how much he works with micro and probably nano.

Jason got him two knifes, with custom handles, painted with the colors of his suit and his favorite color. On the handles Jason had put (Y/N)'s full name in black color, to contrast the colors of the handles.

Tim decided to get (Y/N) a complete new desk set up with two monitors and a place to put his laptop. It's better for him because of his calculations and simulations when he is working on his own suit and also, Tim could finally get help with updating the Batcomputer and improving the overall security of the house.

(Y/N) had ducked behind a table as a new engine for the new Batmobile prototype exploded. Lucius was thankfully far away from it, but it did make him flinch.

(Y/N) poked his head up and looked up. What the hell? Everything was supposed to be fine for this motor. Why the hell did this shit explode?

" Are you okay?! " Lucius asked from across the room.

" I am! Just caught me off guard! " (Y/N) yelled back, approaching what was once an engine.

" Do you think that it got over heated? " (Y/N) asked Lucius, who came and looked down at the remains.

" It could be, but it could be something else. Let me look at the stats on the computer. " Lucius said, walking back to the big computer.

(Y/N) looked at his phone, seeing that it was time to go home.

" Can you let me know what you found next time? I have to go. " (Y/N) said, making Lucius groan a bit.

" Just when it's getting interesting. See you on Monday (Y/N). "

" See you too Lucius. " (Y/N) said, taking his bag and going back to the elevator.

" Tell Bruce I said hi. "

" Will do. "

Jason drove him back to the manor, chatting with (Y/N).

" And then the engine exploded. " (Y/N) finished the story as they both got out of the car.

" Do you know what caused the explosion? " Jason asked, closing the door of the car.

" No. I had to go when it happened. " (Y/N) complained, entering the manor. He took his jacket and shoes off.

" Where is everyone? " (Y/N) asked as Jason led him to the kitchen.

" Surprise! " Everyone yelled at the same time, making (Y/N) jump back. He laughed as he put a hand over his chest.

" What is it for? " (Y/N) asked, still clueless.

" Your birthday dummy. " Jason said, moving to stand next to the others.

(Y/N) didn't realize how he forgot it.

" Did you forgot it? " Bruce asked, tilting his head.

" I guess I just never had a reason to remember. " (Y/N) said, looking away.

" Well, now you do! " Dick said, moving closer with his present. " Happy birthday bro. " Dick said, giving him a hug.

" I was looking for this book! How did you know? " (Y/N) asked, making Dick shrug.

Next up was Tim and he had to lead him to the living room. " Your new desk top set up. I know you like to sketch and do simulations so this is way better than your laptop, but don't worry, you will have place for your laptop. " Tim said, watching (Y/N)'s reaction. His mouth dropped.

" Tim, I mean... Wow, thanks... I didn't expect this. " He said, giving Tim a hug too.

" Don't mention it. Now I have help when it comes to coding. " Tim joked, taking (Y/N)'s bag off.

" I'm afraid of the other gifts now. " (Y/N) admitted, watching as Jason walked up to him, giving him a box. He held it as (Y/N) opened it, eyes widening.

" These are beautiful Jason... " (Y/N) said, in complete awe as he took a blade out.

" Be careful, they are sharp. " Jason warned, watching as (Y/N) put the blade back down.

" Thanks Jason. " (Y/N) said, giving him a hug.

It was Damian's turn and now (Y/N) was nervous.

" Close your eyes (Y/N). " Damian instructed.

(Y/N) did so, but very nervously. He heard Damian moving and he stepped in front. " You can open them now. "

(Y/N) did and was shocked when he saw that Damian painted a portrait of him.

" I love it. " (Y/N) said, looking at the portrait that Damian was holding. " I look better here then in real life. I feel like I will be stabbed if I try to hug you, so I will refrain to do so. "

Everyone laughed and now Bruce stepped forward. He handed (Y/N) the envelope and (Y/N) was a bit suspicious. He opened it and took the paper out. His eyes widened as he read it.

He officially had a dad. Everyone waited in silence, before (Y/N) put it back and hugged Bruce tightly.

" Thanks dad... I really have the best big brothers too. " (Y/N) said, making Damian clear his throat. " And younger one too. "

" Now, how about some cheesecake? My gift to you master (Y/N). " Alfred announced.

" I also have the greatest grandfather ever. " (Y/N) said, giving Alfred a hug. The others joined too.

It was the best birthday ever.

[sassylegshayne]

marry me, idiot - chapter three

okay, I'm sorry this took so long, but like I've been saying!!! I'm updating as I finish, which isn't something I've done before, so it might be a bit longer between updates!! I hope you guys enjoy this!! 💓 2.7k words

series masterlist

It seemed like everyone in the office has crammed themselves into the Pit shooting area.

The set led you to believe that you might've been playing Beopardy, but the questions board was nowhere in sight.

You and Spencer were situating yourselves on a set of stools in the middle of the table, two stools on your right and two more on Spencer's left.

Shayne stood in front of the table, conversing with Kiana as he prepared to host, making sure his mic pack was on.

Your partner in crime and you began whisper yelling at Kiana, trying desperately to get her attention, both of you wanting answers.

"What are Rhett and Link doing here?" You hissed, palms flat on the table as you leaned across with wide eyes. Spencer nodded vigorously beside you, his eyes widened as well.

"Okay, lan wanted to do a newlyweds game with you guys and a few other sets of best friends, just ones that aren't engaged." You two nodded along as Kiana spoke. "So when he went to lunch with Rhett and Link today, he told them the idea and they loved it. Bossman swapped this shoot with another Pit shoot. We weren't planning on doing this for months." Spencer sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. You nodded, brows still furrowed in confusion.

"That's great, I'll probably strangle lan later, but why are Rhett and Link here, like right now?" You spoke in a hush, your eyes darting frantically from where the duo stood to Kiana.

"Well, they said they had the free time to watch it, but I think Ian may have asked them to join you guys, so.." Kiana grinned awkwardly, knowing how quickly your faces would drop from showing any semblance of happiness. Ki thanked her lucky stars as Lizzy called out to her, allowing her an excuse to leave you two. "Spence, we really have to sell this, I don't wanna disappoint the work dads." You took his hand in yours, squeezing softly as you angled yourself toward him as he sighed, nodding his head.

"I didn't expect them to care this much, honestly." He chuckled as a clap on his shoulder causing him to jump.

"Congrats you crazy kids!" Link cheered, grinning as he looked between the two of you. "Marriage is so exciting and y'all are just marrying your best friend; y'all are gonna be so happy together." He laughed, pushing his glasses up a bit as both of your cheeks tinged bright pink.

You bashfully thanked him, making small talk between the three of you before Brennan called for places.

Spencer let out a sigh of relief when the Mythical duo sat on the stools closest to you, the ones beside him still left empty.

Rhett whispered a congratulations and squeezed your shoulder as he walked behind you. You turned to your right, met with grins and thumbs up from the both of them.

After a bit of bullshitting with the crew, Noah and Keith finally strolled in about half an hour later, quickly taking their stools beside Spence's. You two found this game to be quite easy, sitting beside each other for eight years and helped you two pull far ahead of the other's.

Rhett and Link gave your pair another round of congratulations as they said their goodbyes.

Shayne finally got a free moment to talk to the two of your after you'd removed your mic pack, handing it off to Brennan.

"You guys did great, with the show and the show you put on." Shayne chuckled, keeping his voice quiet as you laughed, a blush creeping on to your cheeks as Spencer laughed.

You and Spencer had blown everyone out of the water from he very beginning, nailing every question. Eventually you two settled on bullshit answers, allowing the other's to catch up a bit. You still managed to rack up 24 points, Koah with 17, and the Mythical duo had 15.

The three of you said your goodbyes and went your separate ways. As you and Spencer headed toward your office space, you intertwined your fingers with his, grinning brightly at him.

Spencer gave your hand a gentle squeeze and smiled back.

You continued through your routine in comfortable silence; there was a mutual understanding that today had been a lot on both of you, more than you had expected.

You said your goodbyes to a few people before Brennan halted you, calling you over to his desk, Spencer not far behind you.

You two looked at the monitor over the taller man's shoulders, a smile blooming over your cheeks and a blush across Spencer's cheeks. You didnt know what to say, the picture was so perfect. The screen was taken up by a shot from this morning.

You stood with your arms wrapped around Spencer's shoulders in the photo, his around your waist, your foreheads pressed together as you smile at each other.

Spencer wanted that picture tattooed on the inside of his brain. You both looked at each other with so much love, it was so much better than any of you had expected.

"Say something, please. Ki and Alex were about to cry when I showed them." Brennan chuckled, glancing at Spencer, who meets him with a massive grin.

"That's amazing, Bren. I can't believe it." Spencer gripped his friends shoulder softly, the excitement buzzing through him as the next picture appeared.

You gasped softly, pouting your bottom lip out. It was a shot of your left hand outstretched, your fingertips gently pressing against Spencer's as your ring shown in the early morning light.

"Okay," Brennan closed the tab as you huffed, Spencer scoffing a bit. "I can't show you anymore, Rachel has to pick out which ones were gonna use, then send you guys everything."

You two did attempt to protest, but Brennan shut his monitor off, putting an end to any further arguments.

You had every intention of dropping Spencer off at his apartment and then leaving, but your bladder had other plans.

You left the bathroom wiping the residual water on your hands off on your pants, smiling brightly at Spencer as he sat at his desk, an absurd amount of tabs opened on his laptop.

"I know there's gonna be a budget for this wedding thing but can we put up money for it if we want to?" Spencer asked as you approached him, resting your head on shoulder as he clicks through various different shotgun wedding chapels in Los Angeles.

"I mean, I don't see why we can't, but what exactly are we paying for Spence?" You chuckled as he leaned back in the chair, turning to press a soft kiss to your cheek. He closed his laptop and set it aside, patting his desk as an invitation for you to sit.

He rolled his chair back as you sat, scooting himself a little closer again, sitting just between your legs, his hands on your knees as he grinned up at you.

"Okay, this is just an idea, so hear me out." You nodded slowly, used to hearing Spencer's ridiculous ideas out. You were normally very encouraging of anything he'd presented, but now that you were gonna be directly effected, again, by this one, you were understandably hesitant.

"l'm thinking that we can rent out a little wedding chapel for the day and shoot the actual wedding. I'm trying to contact a few and see if we'd be allowed to film in the first place, but basically, we can rent out a chapel, have the whole shebang of a shotgun wedding, and we end with saying 'I don't' instead." He grinned, shaking your legs softly as he sat back in the chair.

Spencer took a deep breath, his eyes locked on yours as he watched the gears turning, knowing that every outcome of this was running through your mind. Eventually you shrugged, laughing softly.

"Email the idea to Ki, lan, and Lizzy to make sure they're all cool with it and then we can look into it,"

You punctuated your sentence with a smile and a nod, Spencer springing from his seat to wrap his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder.

"I can't wait to not marry you dude." He chuckled, grinning as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in tighter.

"What if we did get married, though?" You laughed, biting your lip as Spencer pulled away, a puzzled look on his face.

"Well, like, for the benefits, like we planned to before. I'm not looing for anyone and you said you weren't either, so what do we have to lose? It'd be kinda fun to pull one over on the office, too, yanno." You explained as you felt your cheeks quickly redden, never before had you noticed Spencer's eyes quite like this. You followed as he gazed you over, his baby blue's seemed to take in every detail of your body before his eyes met yours again.

You took a deep breath, shuffling in your seat and straightening your back. Goddamnit, Spencer didn't make it easy to be his best friend when he did things like that.

All you wanted to do was jump into his arms and kiss him until he was all you could taste, smell, feel. You wanted so badly to tangle your fingers in his hair as you two became a mess of limbs and moans. You didn't want anyone touching him like that for the rest of his life.

This was the closest you could get to that.

The tax break was a far thought in your mind as you felt your grip at the edge of his desk tighten, your nails dragging across the laminate.

Spencer sighed, his heart racing as he ran his hands through his hair, tugging a bit at the roots. You began to swing your feet, pulling his attention back to you once more.

How was he supposed to say yes? How was he meant to tell you just how badly he wanted to actually marry you, to wake up with you every single day for the rest of his life?

He was holding out hope, he still is; one day, you'll admit it, that you're so madly in love with Charles Spencer Agnew. It'll happen, he's just gotta hope.

"Yeah, fuck it, let's do it."

A grin quickly spread across his face as he nodded. You quickly jumped to your feet, tackling him into a hug as he pressed his lips to the top of your head, a grin on his face, too.

"Marry me, idiot" Spencer chuckled, squeezing you tighter.

"I will, Spence." You looked up to him, slowly breaking your embrace, his eyes scanning your face with a soft smile on his lips.

You yawned, rubbing your eyes as you leaned back into your desk chair. Maybe those blue light glasses would be wortha shot because, fuck, did your eyes hurt. Staring at a screen with the same audio clips on loops, the same frames all day long should be a special form of torture.

You heart aches as you glance to your left, the blank monitor and empty chair cause your poor mood.

You had to thank Spencer later, his absence allowing your mind to wander into thoughts of your empty stomach and quest for food. You stretch a bit as you move from your seat, slowly making your way toward the office kitchen. It wasn't uncommon to see Garrett in the shared space.

He grinned as soon as you entered the kitchen, spotting you through the window, causing your smile to drop. He was making what seemed like a normal sandwich, but with Garrett there was no telling what he'd done to it by now.

"I'm not tasting whatever you're making, Garrett." You held your palm up as you maneuver around him, moving to search the fridge for any of Spencer's leftovers or a freebie up for grabs.

"No, it's about a games video, don't worry." Garret laughed as he continued to prepare what you could only hope was his own lunch. You grinned, spotting Spencer's Panda Express lo mein from the day before, your fingers wrapping around the box. He's used to Kiana or you stealing his food, he wouldn't mind.

"I'll hear you out." You nodded toward the tables just outside the kitchen as you grab a fork, leaving the room just as quickly as you'd entered it.

You took up a spot at a small table in the corner, kicking out the chair for Garrett as he followed behind you.

The two of you ate in silence, enjoying the small moment of quiet in such a rambunctious office space.

"So, Shayne and Spencer wrapped on their game earlier than we expected, so would you be able to shoot a video today?" He questioned, eyes not meeting yours once as you spoke, his words purposefully vague.

You cocked a brow at him, stabbing at the noddles as you thought over your day. It wouldn't take you too long to finish up the Pit video you were working on, and it didn't need to be up for another week. You just liked to be head of schedule.

"Sure, Garrett, I'm gonna assume you don't want to tell me what the video is going to be and will accept whatever fate awaits me." You nodded curtly, pulling a laugh from the man before you.

You finished up your food, the both of you entering the Games' shooting room to find Spencer glued to the screen, the mouse moving and clicking constantly.

He grinned as he peaked over the screen, his eyes immediately finding yours.

"Oh good, now you can come be lonely with me." He laughed as you slid into the chair beside him, your eyes rolling.

"Wow, Sims 4, Spencer? Are you ill?" You chuckled, pressing the back of your hand to his forehead.

"There was a wedding expansion pack recently and thought it'd be fun to have our wedding in the Sims first." He explained as he clicked arounda bit.

"Look!" He grinned as he pointed at the screen, eagerly awaiting your approval as you grinned. Spencer had created a Sims version of the both of you, quickly sliding the keyboard and mouse toward you.

"Okay, plan your wedding outfit. Whatever you want to wear, babe." He pressed his lips to your warm cheek, your lip tugged between your lip as you tried to conceal your grin.

You picked your outfit, deciding on a simple dress and heels as the crew gave you the thumbs up, signaling the begging of recording.

"Howdy all," Spencer laughed as you groaned, looking to him with a furrowed brow. "Today, my lovely fiancee and have decided to have our Sims wedding."

You laughed, rolling your eyes as you turned toward the camera. "Obviously because The Sims is the most realistic representation of how our actual wedding would go."

"It's definitely not because I have a problem." Spencer scoffed, holding his hands up as defended himself.

The whole thing went to shit extremely quickly, but you couldn't care less. The Sims wedding was a horrific disaster, as most things with the game seem to go.

None of your guests would sit, your Sims wouldn't cut the cake, Sim Spencer peed his pants, and a fire started.

You wanted to focus, to feel more into the video but you couldn't. Spencer had decided to let you control the game, allowing him plenty of time to stare at you, lean into your side, place his hand on your thigh just out of frame.

Your heart was thumping harder against your ribcage with each flirtatious move he made. But it wasn't actually flirtatious. It was for the video, for the fake relationship you two were caught in.

Spencer was riding on a high of happiness at this point. Everytime a camera was on the two of you, he'd get to do the things he'd been dreaming of.

One day he'd get to hold you, kiss you, touc you in every way he's wanted to for years.

One day, just not today.

[taylormereditholivia1989]

I am still so grateful that @taylorswift liked the post of me and my sister Kate during the Lover era! For sure the most surrealist thing that's ever happened!

We are finally seeing Taylor live this year!! We have dreamt of seeing her live since we were young (7 and 4 years old). Money has always been tight for us. Our Mum and Dad knew how much we really wanted to go to the Speak Now tour in Belfast but unfortunately could not make it happen. ❤️

By the time 1989 and reputation came to Dublin, I eagerly watched videos of the tours on YouTube and posted updates on my tumblr. However, by then my little sister Kate was seriously struggling and repeatedly hospitalised with the (then undiagnosed) and vert rare connective tissue disorder that is Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Kate unintentionally lost a significant of weight during these years and stopped getting nutrition from her food. We were terrified and didn't know what would happen.

We were born with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Dysautonomia, but these were only diagnosed last year. 🦓🦓💛💛

I have dealt with my symptoms from my early teens. My sister Kate has struggled since childhood. This has made socialising and forming solid friendships impossible as we are typically too ill to meet up.

Kate has a knee operation coming up soon. I have kyphosis surgery. We don't yet know if this will be before or after the eras tour in June. We hope everything works out and we can see Taylor live to celebrate all the eras.

To see Taylor right in front of us at Dublin Night One still feels too good to be true. This is what we have been waiting for all these years. I can't wait to sing and dance with Taylor and thousands of other fans for one magical night. I can't wait to have the best evening ever with my parents and my sister. This is what Kate and I have spent hundreds of hours sitting around the fire, carefully analysing verses and discussing hidden meanings. 🔮

Kate and I use a wheelchair part time. We do, however, plan to stand during the eras concert in the front right with our parents for a once in a lifetime experience. We will wear our braces and keep our pain medication topped up. We will get through the night. We know laughs and memories from the tour will last us a lifetime. We have many more tests and examinations left to carry out, but no doubt your jams (especially the tortured poets department as well as future music you are probably already working on). 🤣

We most look forward to hearing the song marjorie live. We both cried when we first listened to it. Taylor describes her grandmother beautifully. We feel especially connected to our grandfather when we listen to this. We discovered a few months back that we inherited our rare genetic condition from our grandfather. He passed young as it went undiscovered. We believe listening to marjorie helps keep his memory alive because we think of him. 💙☀️

We are lucky to have Taylor's music as a form of therapy. We relate to her quirks and her awkward and lovable sense of humour. We genuinely believe Taylor is the funniest person to ever live and we are entranced by how she is so unapologetically herself. Being 5ft 10 and seeing Taylor in the media has really helped me to be more comfortable and accepting of my height and my overall appearance.

@taylorswift if you just so happen to see this post or catch a glimpse of our sequin dresses, curly hair and ever-glittery eye makeup on stage please know: Kate and I are beyond ecstatic to celebrate at your concert. We are going to sing and dance like we have always dreamed of doing. Please ignore our clicking knees and hips if you just so happen to hear them up on the stage. I can say with almost 99% certainty any clicking will be our 22 and 19 year old bodies just doing their thing lol. 🤣

P.S. We can't wait to see your extremely sparkly outfits, shoes and makeup (we really REALLY love glitter in case it wasn't already obvious!!) in person. We love how unhinged you are with sparkles!! 💜

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

- Anna (and the slightly more monotone but equally as funny, Kate). 🩷🩷

[mishydraws]

Very... very unfortunate life update

Hi, everyone.

Ok, I don’t want to waste your time but I wanted to be upfront about what’s going on in my life just so you all know.

Last night I got what is probably one of the worst emails that could have ever appeared in my inbox? Our landlord has given us a 60-day notice to get out. For context, my mom and I have been living here since the year 2000. We have never been late on rent or missed a payment despite every difficulty life has thrown at us in that time and this has completely blindsided us.

We haven’t spoken to any of the neighbors yet but some of the wording on the notice makes me think that they may be kicking out the entire building. Or maybe they’re just targeting those of us in the non-renovated units because we’ve been here so long and they could charge a new tenant much more with a quick kitchen and bathroom upgrade. Renoviction is a new word I just learned. I don’t know. That’s what happened to my brother at his last apartment. They kicked out everyone in his building, renovated, raised the rent, then let new people move in.

They suddenly started increasing our rent every year like clockwork a few years ago so I’ve had a feeling they’ve been trying to price us out for a while but I didn’t know they could just… tell us to leave just because they can. Rent consistently paid up and everything for 24 years.

The notice we received really doesn’t say much so it’s all speculation I guess. It doesn’t state a reason why it just says we need to be gone by March 31st.

But basically, I’m really not doing well right now in all honesty. I slept for maybe an hour last night and it’s like a switch flipped in me as soon as I read the email. My stomach has had this weird knotted feeling ever since and I can’t stand up for more than a few minutes before needing to lie down again in case I either faint or vomit… I’m not sure which but it’s been this way since last night. I had to stand up at the sink to wash one singular dish from dinner and I could barely do it. At least I didn’t see the email until after I ate last night because I still have no appetite now.

However bad I’m feeling I know my mom is probably feeling worse. She has been for a while. She’s getting older and my dad is no longer alive. Aside from my brother and one irl friend I still see in person regularly, we have no family or other support system in this country and are well and truly on our own, staring down the barrel of homelessness if we can’t quickly secure a place and move decades worth of our life there before the end of March.

All of this to say, I don’t know what our usual art shenanigans here are going to look like during this time. I am incredibly stressed to the point where I am physically ill but I also can’t pause and step away because I do need the income that I receive from your support of me/my art here. It’s just the reality. I’ve never been particularly Big And Successful with what I do so your support means all the much more and makes a real impact on my life.

I am so sorry if this dampens your mood at all today or if you notice a decrease in the quality of art I’m able to deliver over the next few months but I will try my best to keep things rolling and let you know if there’s any particular delays to expect.

To top it off, I requested a tour of a nearby apartment last night (more expensive than our current) and the name of the person who just texted me back has the same name as our current landlord. Who wants to start taking bets? I know for a fact they own a lot of property in the area so this isn’t looking promising.

Anyways. Sorry for this downer of a post. If we’re not homeless in 2 months then… I dunno. I’ll have somewhere indoors to do art? Yay? You can imagine the housing market we’re dealing with being in California. The prospect of moving at this point has always been one of my biggest fears but we’ll see if we get lucky real fast 😢

If you've ever thought about supporting my Patreon or anything else, now and over the next few months might be a good time if you can swing it. Maybe it'll help us secure a place to move if I can point to it and be like 'Look! A whole income!' 🥲 Idk man.

There's an art update in the (public) post I made if you want to see what we're at least trying to work on for sticker club through all of this.

Mishy

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

So this guy was venting. He was very upset after his mom took his ex girlfriend’s side of things.  This and the update aren’t very long so I’ll just copy and paste them 

This was the first one: 

I was raised by single mom. my dad died 2 years after i was born. I focused on my career for the most part of my life and my mom supported me doing that. but when i was 20 i met my ex girlfriend and we got together. we were colleagues first but she told me she'd work in a different sector soon. in her new workplace she met a new guy who she fell "in love" with while being in a relationship with me.

i only found out because she admitted to have sex with him to me after she went out for "girls night" with her friends. i immediately broke up with her and threw her out. a few hours of me trying to process what happened my mum called me and shouted at me that she hasn't raised me like this. i was confused and asked what she meant and she said that my ex girlfriend accused me of cheating on her and that she "found prove" of that on my phone. i couldn't believe what i just heard.

i tried to talk to my mother telling her that the exact opposite is true and that she has cheated on me but she didn't believe me. part of the reason is probably because she and my mom truly loved each other. i never had a problem with that. till then i liked how they got along with each other. my mother called me a liar and she said she'd disinherit me from her will as she's not having a cheater as a son. she said she never wents to see me again. then later my grandparents called me to tell me how disappointed they are of me and that i deserve every bad thing that is to come. you know what the worst thing was? i found out that my cheating ex girlfriend continued to meet with my mom after everything she did.

all of this was so painful for me. the only person that sided with me was my best friend who was furious with her. i talked to him and he hugged me and i cried in his arms. i know many people would think thats unusual for two guys. but his support really helped me getting through this. one year later when i already was over it my doorbell rang and when i opened i saw my mom with teary eyes and i began to feel how my emotions are coming up and i slammed the door and started crying asking her what the f*ck she wants here.

she said she wanted to talk to me and that she was so sorry. after she begged for 15 minutes straight i gave in and opened the door. she said my ex admitted that she cheated when she was drunk. she apologized profusely and said that she knows that she failed as a mother not believing her own child.

i told her that i accept her apology but i don't want to see her now and that i probably can never forgive her. even though she begged me to forgive her. over the last few months she started calling me daily "just to hear my voice" as she said. she said she missed me then apologized again and asked if i could just come over. her voice always sounded kinda painful and she always says how much she loves me and that even she could understand that i hate her she cannot live with this thought on her head. i don't even hate her. i still love her. she is still my mom but the trust is broken.

i can never trust her again because what if i got into a relationship again. who says that she wouldn't just believe their word over mine again? i appreciate her efforts but i just cannot forgive her or even see her now. and i hope she understands that i need time.

And here’s the update: 

After reading too many comments yesterday i decided to meet with my mom today to clarify everything. I texted her to come over and she didn't hesitate. she literally appeared at my door within 15 minutes.

many of you pointed out good points i should ask her. even though she called several times we rarely really talked. so when she came over i sat her down in the living room. there i asked about my grandparents, her will and if she is still in contact with my ex.

she explained that she had told my grandparents and she expected them to call me but it seems like they were too stubborn. she also said i'm in her will again. she then started talking shit about my ex. she said that when she found out she punched her so hard that my ex lost a few teeth. I very much doubt the accuracy of this story detail but i wanted to share it anyway because for me it was a funny thing to think about. she said she told her to "f*ck off" and threw her out of the house.

she then again started apologizing profusely and telling me that she knows how hard she messed up and that i probably can never trust her but she wants to do "everything in her power" to make this right. she explained that the man before my father had cheated on her so infidelity was a sensitive topic for her. and then she said that she regrets not believing me or even remotely hearing my side of the story.

i sat quiet while she explained all this. i then asked her how i know that i could trust her now. what would happen if i got into a similiar situation and if she would just throw me away again. she said i have her word and i replied that her word is basically meaningless as i don't trust her in the first place.

she didn't reply to that answer properly and again begged me to forgive. i told her that i cannot forgive her for now and maybe i will never be able to forgive her but i also see her efforts and if she wants me in her life again then she has to show me that i can count on her. she started tearing up. i could tell she tried to hold in her tears the entire time. but then she broke down crying and with a wimpering voice she asked if she at least could give me a hug. i accepted that and she said she's gonna make this right no matter what it takes and then she left.

now while i am kinda touched in how she shows how much she regrets doing what she did i am really concerned about my own reaction. when she broke down and i saw my own mother there on the floor crying i didn't feel anything. i wasn't sad, i wasn't angry, i wasn't happy and i certainly didn't show any sort of empathy for her. i just couldn't. during the year of having no contact with her i refused to go to therapy. maybe its not to late to do that now.

in the end i want to thank all of you for your nice comments and support. i tried to read every single one of your comments but the post kinda exploded way more than i expected. have a nice day!

(I know the pictures look different. I was looking at the post on my computer instead of on my phone and taking a screenshot) 

 I can’t look at this mother as a victim. I really don’t understand why the 2nd commenter doesn’t see what she did wrong. This wasn’t just a brief time where she believed the ex girlfriend and then apologized (to her son). This took a year to get to that point. she blatantly turned her back on him and took this a step further. 

Regardless of how close she felt to this ex girlfriend or how much anger she was carrying because she was cheated on previously, that’s her son 

[rosyandraw]

Hi I love you. I’ve been carefully waiting for you to update 🤍 but also I do have a question! I noticed that you made Damen a Scorpio, and Laurent a Taurus in NMFY. Was this intentional? Because I saw on capri twt someone made a timeline to show Damen & Lauren’s 6 year age gap, and their most likely birthday. And Damen being a Scorpio and Laurent being a Taurus totally fits 😭🤍 In case it was totally intentional and you wrote it based on the books, you’re absolutely brilliant and I love you more. I wanted to know whether you’re into zodiac and have opinion to their zodiac compatibility pairing

I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU FOR ASKING (also I just updated when I said I was going to lmao, for once!)

Sorry my answer is so long. But here is my essay on Scorpio Damen and Scorpio/Taurus compatibility.

I haven't seen the timeline, so I did it based on the books and then my own opinion of their characters. I'm really into astrology. I'm into spiritualism too and I'm an eclectic neopagan (not that you asked lmao)

Laurent is late spring, so can only really be a Taurus or a Gemini based on the information we're given in the books. And I think Taurus is more Laurent's vibe.

We know they're 20 and 25 during the books which kicks off around June time but by Marlas, which would have been early spring/March Damen was already 19 and Laurent was approaching 14. So Damen's birthday has to be later than September as the books only span 3 months (being generous) but before Spring (battle at marlas).

Then it was just a matter of deciding what I felt vibed best with what we know of them. I toyed with a few for Damen but none of them felt right -Capricorn, Sag, Libra- they just don't fit him very well.

I think Damen fits a Scorpio for so many reasons, mostly because they're incredibly deep but don't really show it. They're charismatic people quite naturally but they can also be ruthless. They're also -like Taurus- extremely loyal.

Scorpio people feel very deeply, they can be great leaders, resourceful, passionate when something is important to them, they love challenges and tend to be fucking fearless when they see obstacles.

You’re probably thinking "but Scorpios are manipulators" and yes. They can be and I would argue that Damen isn’t the kind of person that manipulates on purpose but, as with most scorpio’s, he is charming when he wants to be and often charming people don’t recognise their influence on the people around them. He is also smart and strategic and his manner of looking at things coupled with a natural charisma often influences situations and the people around him without him purposefully thinking let me manipulate this. Manipulation doesn’t always equal sneaky, sometimes it references a natural sway and I think Scorpio is often this kind of person. Especially because they are almost always confident they are right and confidence is everything when you’re influencing a situation or person, whether you know it or not.

Scorpio is often calm and collected. They feel deeply but don’t show it the way you associate with the other water signs. They can be violent when pushed and can be relentless with it, whether it’s a physical fight, a slanging match, or a cause they believe in Scorpio is IMPOSSIBLE to fight with. They keep their heads, they aren’t prone to lashing out or to displays of emotion but they can and will absolutely ruin you if you get them there. If they were a sin I’d say it might be Pride.

We know from Canon Damen is very cool and collected in high stress situations. He compartmentalises to a fault, he doesn’t EVER let his situation get the better of him in terms of his emotions. I am talking explicitly about his ability to keep his shit together when in fight or flight and his decision making ability in high stress situations. And of course his penchant for not letting himself feel the horror and sadness of everything that has happened: Kastor, Jokaste, his dad dying, being stabbed by his brother, the post, Ancel etc.

He feels it very deeply but he doesn’t let it show, he doesn’t let it rule him and he doesn’t acknowledge it pretty much all the way through the books.

Scorpio is deeply self aware (not always emotionally) and there isn’t a single instance in the book where Damen doubts himself. Not even in chains. He doesn’t even really doubt Laurent even when Laurent throws test after test at him. There’s a loyalty and surety there.

In terms of sex and romance scorpio is the sign of sexuality which matches nice with Taurus because they are the sign of sensuality. We know Damen’s only two outlets in terms of his emotions are fighting and fucking. He is a deeply DEEPLY sexual person and he has so much passion in him that he literally walks into the lions den with an I love you and some big fucking balls. Like??? Who else but a scorpio would have the AUDACITY to do that shit?

Prone to one-night stands and expression through their bodies Scorpios will only truly be satisfied when they find the ONE which again -so is Taurus. And when they do they are loyal and passionate and tend to spend their teen years and 20s being fuck-boys and hoes until they realise they want more.

Sound familiar? The second Damen fucks Laurent there is no going back for him because he’s found the person that can satisfy both his intense needs: sex and the emotional intimacy he’d been craving (but ignoring) his whole life.

When Scorpio’s find the one they want the literally merge their lives and hearts and become the power couple WE kind of people.

Intelligent, loyal, strategic, dedicated to the people they care about, they work well under pressure, are focused, resourceful and hardworking. They enjoy the chase; they are competitive and they like a little mystery in their romance. When in love they are unshakeable and loyal and passionate above all else. Their kind of love can be too intense for most people but Taurus WANTS that security and the assurance, Taurus thrives on being the centre of someone’s world and no other zodiac sign will do it quite as well as Scorpio

Taurus and Scorpio have a lot of sexual energy between them and natural compatibility. So I think it makes a lot of sense, Laurent and Damen's chemistry on page is stellar and it is INSTANT.

I think any time I read an enemies to lovers I assume they have birth charts that are compatible because Love and Hate are so closely aligned. Hate is such a passionate sentiment, I don't think it's possible that two people like that don't have some natal compatibility/facets that make for glorious tension.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble and thank you for this because it was so so much fun to word vomit about it haha! 💕💕

[stellarboystyles]

Chapter One

a/n: okay i’m a shit writer and i have a bad habit of hating something write after i post it, so this is the updated version of chapter one fml

“Do you remember the night we met?”

A sweet smile crept up onto her face, one she couldn’t hide, but tried to as she took another sip from the glass in her hand. 

“I do.”

“Ooh, haven’t heard those words in a while.”

“Shut up.” she lets out a giggle at his lame attempt at a joke, one he takes personally, apparently.

“Oi, fuck you then.” he bites, failing to hide the smirk on his face behind his own glass.

“Make me.”

“Easy.” he warns with one finger. “Don’t make me come over there.”

It was always so effortless for them, the connection they had. Even though his comment made him sound like such a dad, she loved it.

“Best first date ever though, right?”

She fights a smile at the smirk on his face before taking another sip as he continues with his speech-like point.

“No matter how much I forget short term, I still remember that night like it was yesterday.”

March 2nd, 2016

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Parker's quickly adding blush to her cheeks and white knuckles her hairbrush as she rushes through the motions of getting ready. All the while genuinely shocked by her own actions, that she’s actually going through with this. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

She kept repeating herself over and over; probably a half-assed attempt at soothing her anxiety as she sped off down the street and made her way into the city. It was her first date in five years—how people do this on a regular basis, she truly can’t fathom how.

“You’ll be fine.” Sam laughs. “You're insane.”

“It’s not funny!” she scolds with a smile. “I haven’t been on a date in six months.”

“So what’s the worst that can happen?” she exclaims. “You’re gorgeous. You’d have to say something horrible, like…you hate ice cream, or something.”

“Will you stop.” Nina giggles. “I’m trying not to freak out.”

"Dude, no wonder you're freaking out."

“What?” Nina whips around to look at her friend, eyes wide at her phone and forcing her to wait in agony. “What?!”

"He's hot." Sam gapes. "Like, hot hot."

"I know." she whines. "I hope it goes well."

"It will."

Not to be cliche, but to say Harry is gorgeous is the understatement of the year.

He was really cute, no doubt about it. He had that all-American baby face, good hair—

and those eyes, my God.

It’s important to mention, though, that if he was simply looks and there was no substance to him then there would’ve been a zero percent chance of her falling for him like she did. But there were little things that set him apart from others.

He sends video messages instead of dry texts, full face pics instead of a blank screen and actually makes plans without her having to ask him to. This seemed like a win.

The more time that passed by, anxiously waiting for his car to pull up in her best friend's driveway, the more nerves started to build up. Mistaking anxiety for butterflies was a feeling Nina knew all too well. Her past few boyfriends weren’t exactly Romeo Montecue, so she was well versed in spotting a bad boy from a mile away.

Deep breaths. Whatever happens, happens.

It’s easy to say, but as much of a control freak as Nina is over her life, so much easier said than done.

"He’s here!"

His warm smile and greeting was calming, soothing her anxiety a bit. The drive was only a few minutes, but it felt longer. In a good way. He really wanted his hand to hold hers, but he was nervous. Little too soon too, right?

“You look really beautiful.” he breathes. “I mean, you look amazing.”

She bashfully thanks him, looking down at her knees while he’s keeping himself from putting his hand on one of them.

“Okay,” he sighs, trying to distract himself. “What music do you wanna to listen to?”

Of course, she gave him the typical response that the genre didn’t matter. “It doesn’t matter, anything.”

“Really? ‘Cause I don’t think you’d like the music I listen to.” he jokes.

She shakes her head dismissively in response to his satiricy. “It’s fine.”

“It’s fine?” he teases, leaning into her as he starts messing with the aux. “I mean, it’s kinda metal.”

“Perfect.”

He shows her two bands, and she recognizes both almost immediately.

“I grew up listening to this.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah,” she continues. “My dad loves rock music, we’d always listen to it all the time.”

“Ah, gotcha.” he nods before referring back to the previous conversation. “Yeah, I just went to one of their concerts, actually.”

It was obvious that Harry was a passionate person; passionate about things he loved, like music. He was showing her concert videos on his phone and was telling her about the ideas and concepts behind each of his favorite bands.

“I love that…that’s what makes big artists as successful as they are.” she adds. “When you have something that sets you apart from everyone else.”

He can’t help himself, looking at her in pure disbelief for a moment before turning back, laying his head on his headrest. “You are the girl of my dreams, Kendall.”

“How was your drive here, by the way?”

Okay, maybe she could tolerate some small talk…from certain people.

She also begrudgingly knows that you have to have some miniscule amount of small talk to get to know each other, so she allows it.

They quickly discovered there was a natural flow between them, something that you couldn’t force. It was just there.

He catches himself staring at her in awe, but he couldn’t help himself. The high points of her face were glowing in the moonlight.

His eyes were so much greener now that he’s right in front of her. He was gorgeous. Everything about him was perfect. Lips, eyes, hair, everything.

“Where did you come from?”

She turns her head, looking out at the skyline. She doesn’t quite know what to say, and doesn’t really have time. He places two fingers on the right side of her jaw, turning her head. She smiles out of knowing what he’s doing, and her smile is contagious, leading him to quickly mirror her action.

He kisses her.

And in that moment, nothing else mattered, and everything made sense.

[socialistwh0r3vampir]

Tagged by @zaegreus

three ships: I'm going to cheat and say iwtv toxic polyclue but @lesbians4armand gotten me super into Armand x Daniel

Trixie Katya is edging out iwtv in terms of rpf in no small part to @tritzie

And my current rare pair are Tom Riddle paired with Lily Evens or/and Alphard Black thanks to @therealvinelle @heyob and @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin

first ship: it's probably Sarah x Jareth from labyrinth I was watching that movie as a literally baby and me and my mother love fairytales and folklore. It really clicked for me when I was 3 and my little brother started to have a personality and I was jealous of the attention he got I projected really hard onto Sarah and wanted to be her and be with her and both my parents have always listed after Bowie as an adult I still ship them and have read some incredible fanfic (one of which actually got an update after a year long hiatus when I mentioned it in a tag game lol). Honestly if you haven't seen labyrinth yet and your on Tumblr your a real weirdo if you want to see other people gush about David Bowie's cod piece definitely check out moviebitches review.

last movie: I'm partway though twin peaks again after seeing @tritzie rebloging a gif earlier today but the last film I finished 3 Women 1977 yesterday which I found through the Trixie Katya podcast and its wonderful if you like sissy spacek or Shelly Duvall it's definitely worth a watch if you like bizarre horror I really need to gif it so I can try to influence my beloved tumblrinas.

last song: currently listing to the brat album again after Jackson wagon dropped a video after a year long hiatus about the rollout of the album I found it really interesting as I've been a causal fan of hers since sucker dropped like a decade ago but I don't follow celebrities or artists and tend to hear titbits from irl/tumblr friends or video essays/deep dives. Last song not on the album was va Va Voom by Nicki cause my brains broken and it's been playing nonstop for months

Currently eating: cinnamon rolls (I forgot to convert from F to C for the first 5min of cook time so they are a lil brown on top but still good and a fancy yogurt

Currently craving: pulled pork slider Ive just put it in the oven and I've got 6hours left Im walking into town in a few hours to go to the food pantry and by the time I get back it should be ready but idk if they will have buns or if i should make them now (cause ill have to wait for them to rise for min 1hour). Ive wanted beef pho for a few weeks but my town doesn't sell it and the closest one is an hour bus away and they don't have regular hours or pick up the phone so it's not worth traveling all the way for nothing. I'm going to Vist my mother in the blue mountains in a few weeks if my dad's health is good enough shout out to Pho Moi in katoomba it's incredible (if u go be aware it full of tourists on weekends and school holidays and to get on the list for a table u have to write ur name in person) but it's $20 for a huge bowl with raw I share with my mum and often have leftovers to take home and it's the best flavor.

Tagging

@tritzie @namorssideburns @curlytemple @nationalvyvanseshortage @significationary @boag @dragonflylady77 @hetrophobic @wh0rebehavi0rmain @sumquiasum @jdeanmorgan @cuddle---buddy @cannibalisticcorpse @hauntingattheblackberrypatch @jackiegaytona

[hearts4farryn]

July 19, 2023

TW! ed, sa, addiction, basically dead dove don’t eat

After years of an ed, I finally find myself on Tumblr; the HOLY GRAIL of disordered people. You’d think after 3 years of therapy, several hospital trips, and multiple attempts i’d learn my lesson. At this point I think I just like wallowing in my mental illnesses. Once quarantine started, I just went spiraling down a path in the wrong direction. But this year has been the most wild point of my life. It’s funny, a couple weeks ago my step-dad asked me if I had hit rock bottom. His question didn’t sprout from just a few of my life’s mishaps though. My biological dad who lives across the United States sent my and in-depth suicide note through his Gmail; causing me to stress over him for weeks. A few months earlier I had been raped by a man in his 20’s, but he got shot 2 weeks after. Karma’s a bitch when it needs to be. And finally, the cherry on top, my parents and relatives found out my therapist was grooming me. I knew that his sexual advances towards me weren’t necessarily normal, but he has told me countless times I was “one of a kind” and he “thought about me often.” The worst part of him grooming me was people finding out. I could handle that my middle aged therapist (who was actually very cute!) found me attractive and had other plans than me just being a client to him. I didn’t mind it. Being victimized and the stress of taking legal action was a completely different topic. Thank God, my parents decided to stray away from the police. I’ve already had enough encounters with them anyway. Back to my step-dad saying I hit rock bottom, I already knew I hadn’t. Not even a week after he asked, I overdosed on my bedroom floor with Euphoria playing in the background. No fucking joke. This was also not on purpose (surprisingly) and I had been using for a long time before this. My blue leds were on too. My mom found me in my bed; grey-faced, convulsing, while my friend held back tears as she watched death almost swallow me whole. My mom dragged me to the floor, called 911, and started CPR. Mind you I was in a thong and bra during all of this. EMTS eventually arrived at my house and I woke up to lights flashing in my eyes and realizing everyone there has seen me half naked. I cried in the ambulance and apologized to the officer beside me countless times. To be honest, he was probably getting pissed and how much i was whining and the amount of “I’m so sorrys” i was throwing out there. If anyone out there has experienced addiction and thought, “oh! there’s no way that’ll happen to me! i know what i’m doing.” There is always a way. ALWAYS. Especially with hard shit. I’ve been sober since then and hope to continue, but i still haven’t processed it fully. Instead of realizing it was a very serious situation, I just giggle at the thought of it and move on. Anyways, all this crazy shit has sprouted into my life after my first heartbreak. I had been cheated on after I poured everything into a relationship. At the same time, what did I expect out of a teenage boy? I won’t go too in depth about that, it’s always the same story for everyone. Now Im about 2000 miles from home, with my childhood best friends. It’s a nice and quiet break from everything. I just kind of relive the same day and don’t have to worry about being around my triggers. These 3 weeks have been the easiest weeks to get clean. I just hope i stay clean, i honestly never know. Without a therapist, I’m just going to have to figure shit out on my own and hope I’m doing life right. This year I’ll be going into my sophomore year of high school, and I kind of can’t wait for summer to be over. But first I need to be skinny!! I want to be sickly. That’s just kind of what I’m relying on to cope right now. If anyone needs to rant in my dms they are always welcome, I am here for this community! I get it. This is my first update here, I’m not sure if anyone will read it but hi if u do! Thank you for listening!

xoxo

farryn

[camaro-and-smokes]

Little Bird Starts Nesting

Chapter 1: Little Bird

3rd and final work in The Way It Should've Been -series

Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen, M/M Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove & Original Character(s), Steve Harrington & Original Character(s) Characters: Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington, Original Character(s) Additional Tags: Harringrove, Alternate Universe - No Supernatural, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Domestic Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Family Issues, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Unplanned Pregnancy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: Billy and Steve find out that their eldest daughter Emma, at the age of eighteen, was coming of age in a way they never expected. They do their best to help her make a big decision about her future.

Notes: It took me ages, but here's finally the third and final part to this series! I'll be updating probably only once or twice a month because I'm working on so many different fics right now. Best to subscribe to this on AO3 if you want to know when a new chapter is up :) I'll be adding tags whenever chapters require it. FYI: You need to be up to date on the previous works in this series to get the best of it, so, off you go if you haven't read them yet

Read the whole series on AO3 >>

::::::::::

“Dada?” Billy raised his gaze from the book he’d been reading. He saw Emma, the almost nineteen-year-old long-haired beauty who’s dada Billy was proud to call himself, standing at the bedroom doorway. “Yeah?” Emma was fidgeting with her hands, her chin quivering. Billy took off his reading glasses and put them away with the book altogether. “What is it, birdie?” he asked, concerned. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Billy knew from experience that when your kid asks you to not be mad, it’s usually something you sure as hell might get mad for. A broken window in the neighbor’s minivan (courtesy of a new baseball bat and ball and 10-year-old boy who ‘just wanted to practice’). Or a defrosted freezer in the summer, thanks to a teenager left home alone for a few days (because apparently it was a good idea to pull the plug from the freezer ‘just for a few hours’ to video chat with a friend in the kitchen uninterrupted). Or bite marks in the arm of a kindergarten teacher (yeah, 5-year-old Annie reminded Billy then, once again, that she indeed was his flesh and blood. In her defense, even though Billy didn’t fully approve Annie’s approach, he thought that 'the teacher was stupid' too).

He sat up and patted the mattress next to him. “Ok, come here. What’s up?” Emma sat next to Billy, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, hugging her sideways. “You know you can always talk to me. No matter what.” Emma grimaced. “I messed up,” she sniffled. “Okay. But that’s kinda broad, birdie. You’re gonna have to fill me in a bit more.” “Please, don’t tell dad. He’ll kill me.”

It had turned out that Steve was the more strict parent of them too. All three of their kids had wrapped Billy around their fingers and he could hardly deny anything from them. So, having Emma come to him first when in trouble instead of Steve was no surprise.

“Hey, no one is going to kill anyone. But I hope it’s nothing I should keep from him, you know.” Emma looked down at her hands, and then at Billy with pained eyes. “I missed my period,” she whispered.

Billy had heard those words in the ancient past once or twice from a girl. The kind who were trying to get a leverage on him after it had turned out that his interest in them was more of a facade than anything else. Hearing the words from his own daughter, though, made an icy coldness grow inside him. “How many days?” “Three weeks.” Billy was speechless - or rather, chose not to say what came to his mind.

‘What the fuck’, ‘How in the hell’, ‘You knew what could happen if you weren’t careful’ and ‘I’m going to kill that son of a bitch’ all visited the tip of his tongue, ready to fly out of his mouth.

But he also knew that none of those would make the situation any better, so he reeled each one back in and down his throat. “Three weeks? Why didn’t you talk to me earlier?” “I didn’t know if I was just late or late. And I still don’t! I’m sorry, dada!” Emma cried. Billy hugged her tighter when she started sobbing. “Emma. So, you don’t know if you actually are just late or...the other thing?” She shook her head. “But I was really sick in the morning yesterday and today.” Billy took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. “Does Ryan know?” Emma shook her head.

“Ok, birdie, this is what’s going to happen. First, we’re going to get you a test and see what it says. Then we’re going to think this further. Okay?” Emma nodded. “Are you mad at me?” she asked between hiccups. “No, I’m not. But I would’ve appreciated if you’d come to me sooner.” He paused. “Uh, do you have any idea when...you know, when the accident might’ve happened?” Emma looked away. “Emma? Was there a time when the condom maybe broke?” She still said nothing and wouldn’t look at Billy. Billy had to take a few deep breaths to steady his temper. He still couldn’t keep all the edge out of his tone. “So you’re on the pill and it didn’t work, or you forgot to take it?”

When she still said nothing, Billy had to get up and walk by the window to keep himself from shouting at the girl. “Fuck. I knew we should’ve gotten it for you earlier,” he mumbled to himself. He turned to look back at her. “So, you had unprotected sex with Ryan, just like that? No protection at all? Not even a condom?” “He said he didn’t like using one and then we used this calculation method and...” Billy’s eyes grew large. “Birdie, that’s not a method a young girl like you should use!” he growled. “You’ve known him only for a few months. Who knows where he has put his dick in before...”

The moment the last words fell out of his mouth, Billy knew he’d gone too far.

Emma wailed as she ran out of the room, slamming the door of her own room closed behind her. Billy grimaced and took a deep breath. He ran his fingers through his hair, looking at the window. “Well, fuck.”

As Billy was trying to process the news, a boy’s voice sounded from the door: “Are you mad, dada?” Billy turned to look at the 10-year-old dark-haired boy, Junior, who’s big brown eyes always melted his heart, just like his dad’s eyes. Because he was Steve’s son. “No, Jr, I’m not. I just don’t know what to think.” The boy walked into the room and sat on the bed, tapping the mattress just like Billy had done. “We should talk about it.” Despite the severity of the matter at hand, Billy couldn’t help smiling. The kid was exactly like his dad. He walked back to the bed and sat down next to Jr., wrapping his arm around the boy. “Why did you shout at Emma?” the boy asked. “Well, Emma did something that I wasn’t happy about and I lost my temper.” Jr. looked at Billy, his eyes wide. “What happened?” “It’s an adult thing. But you don’t have to worry about it. I will talk with you and Annie about it when we’ve sorted it out a bit more with Emma and dad. Alright?” Jr. nodded. “Can you help me with my homework?” he asked, already moving on from the issue, trusting that his dads would keep him on the loop if necessary. Billy hugged the boy. “I have to stop by the mini-mart. But I’ll help you when I come back, okay? Just do the ones you can yourself and let’s look at the tough ones together.” “Okay.”

Billy changed his sweats into jeans and walked to Emma’s door. He knocked on it. “Hey, birdie?” No reply. “I’m going to the mini-mart to get the test. I won’t be gone for long and dad’s coming home soon, but could you please look after Annie and Jr. while I’m gone?” No answer. “Hey, Emma?” When there still was no reply, Billy leaned his head on the door frame. “I’m sorry that I shouted at you. I’m not angry, just really, really worried. Please, look after our siblings just for fifteen minutes. I’ll be right back.” “Okay,” Emma replied quietly. Billy sighed, relieved. “Thank you, birdie.”

He walked out and sat in his Camaro, turning the key in the ignition. The car barked to life. He placed his hands on top of the wheel and stared at the glorious view of the sea that was turning dark earlier than it had just a few weeks ago, thanks to autumn.

He bit his lip so hard that he tasted blood. His little girl, the one he’d held in his arms less than a day old in the incubator, was possibly having a baby of her own. The prospect horrified him. It was 2015, and it wasn’t like teenagers didn’t get pregnant all the time. And he was fully aware how they got Emma in the first place - but if it was Emma... He didn’t want that for her. To have a baby just when she was supposed to have the world open in front of her. To halt school and postpone going into college... She shouldn’t have to settle down with a family first thing... Not yet, at least.

And the worst was that he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to help his baby and he felt so useless that before he even noticed he was already hyperventilating with a full-on panic attack. He scrambled for one of the paper bags he had stacked in the glove box just in case. He hadn’t had a panic attack in a very long time, thanks to his medication, but the news was so overwhelming that probably no amount of medication would’ve been enough to keep him from having one.

When the attack finally passed and his breathing settled, he made it to the mini-mart.

He walked through the aisles towards the personal hygiene section, fidgeting with the nicotine spray he had in his pocket. As he passed other customers, he felt like every one of them was staring at him, judging him for not doing a better job as a father.

The last time he’d felt this nervous while approaching the hygiene section was when he’d had to buy first period pads for Emma. Then, too, he hadn’t known what he was supposed to be doing, and he’d just bought a pack of everything the mart had. Emma hadn’t needed new ones for months. Jesus. That was just a few years ago, he thought to himself. And he knew that at any moment now he’d have to buy pads for Annie too.

What the hell happened to the time suddenly? Everything used to feel like it lasted for forever. Summer nights at the quarry, stolen moments with Steve in the janitor’s closet, school year...

And now time was just running past them and he and Steve were just trying desperately to keep up.

Bill stood in front of the shelf that held the tests. Three different brands. He was a father of three, but not once had he been in this situation. He’d been in the ultrasound examination to find out if Sharon, the surrogate mother who they had Annie and Jr. with, was pregnant. But having to do a pregnancy test at his house... He let out a deep sigh and took one of each brand. Might as well go overboard than not be sure.

When he returned home, Steve’s BMW was in the driveway. “Shit,” he groaned. He put the tests into one of the paper bags he still had out on the passenger seat.

“Hey, firecracker,” Steve said from the couch when Billy walked in. Billy smiled a forced smile. “Hey, babe.”

The years had begun to show on Steve’s face and in the beard he’d began sporting a few years back, making him a snackable silver fox. But his dark eyes were just as they’d always been: deep dark ponds Billy could drown himself in. Billy shook the paper bag in his hand and went straight to the stairs. “Had to get something for Emma. I’ll come down soon.”

Billy sat on Emma’s bed with her and took the tests from the bag. “There were three brands, so I took one of each. Two ones are normal and then this one,” he took one of the boxes in his hand, “is digital. It’s supposed to be the most accurate. They all work with the same idea: you just pee on the strip on the other end.” Emma took one in her trembling hand. Billy set his hand on hers and brushed the hand gently with his thumb, soothing her. Just like Steve did whenever he wanted to soothe him. “Hey, Emma. It’s okay. We’re sorting this out. Let’s read the manuals and then you go to the bathroom.” “Don’t tell dad,” the girl begged again, looking up at Billy. He hugged her. “My little bird,” he said, and let out a deep breath. “We’ll tell him together if there’s something to tell.”

When Emma left for the bathroom, Billy went back downstairs and sat next to Steve on the couch. “Kids.” Steve pecked his cheek and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him into a hug. “Missed you.” Billy would’ve loved to be happy about Steve being home, but he was too worried about Emma. “Missed you, too,” he replied shortly. ”What’s up?” Steve asked. ”Something.” Steve looked at Billy. “Something serious?” ”You could say that.” ”Okay, now I’m worried too.” ”I’ll tell you when I know more. Okay? I promised her.” ”Emma?” Billy grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. He closed his eyes and nodded. ”Hey,” Steve said and rubbed Billy’s arm with his hand. “You’re sorting it out with her?” Billy opened his eyes and looked at Steve. “Yeah.” “Okay. Tell me when you know more,” Steve said, and hugged Billy tighter.

They cuddled on the couch for a while until Emma called Billy from the stairs. “Yeah, coming,” Billy said, getting up. Emma was sitting on her bed when Billy walked in and closed the door behind him. “So?” he asked. Emma’s face was all white and big, fat tears fell on her cheeks as she looked at Billy. Billy’s stomach dropped. “Show me.”

Emma handed the tests to Billy. The normal ones showed two red stripes, a sign of pregnancy, and the digital one said 'you’re positive'. Billy knew it meant exactly that, that the test was positive, but right now he really didn’t feel too positive himself. He sat next to Emma and buried his face in his hands, leaning his elbows on his thighs. “What am I going to do, dada?” Emma asked, sniffling. “Birdie, I wish I knew.” Billy took a deep breath and looked at her. When she started crying, Billy took her in a tight bear hug. “We’re going to figure it out, Emma. Don’t worry,” he assured her, even though he sure as hell didn’t feel confident at all.

[frostynovaprime]

Show him the ropes, Ro Ro.

Tw animal death, medical talk below the cut

To explain my small break if it was noticeable, I had to say goodbye to my best buddy Sterling 2 weeks ago. It had been a rough few months for me leading up to it.

A week before moving down to vet school he suddenly went into acute renal failure and had to be hospitalized with extensive internal care. There was nothing conclusive from all tests run, but he seemed to be recovering well enough. My parents promised to give regular updates, but I still had to hug him as if there was a chance I wouldn’t get to again.

Fast forward to October, dad tells me Sterling hadn’t been doing good. His abdomen had been distending and the internist still couldn’t find a definitive answer.

Midterm exams start, I asked for no updates in hopes of focusing. I start having a panic attack during my anatomy lab exam. Called mom, who told me it was probably time.

The next day, October 12, I’m on a video call with my parents at my vet. It was the closest I could have gotten to being there like I had promised him when I couldn’t be there for my dog Rosie. Hopefully she was there to help him like she was when we first brought him home 13 years ago.

And I hope they both forgive me for having to break that promise.

[faceless-conspiracy-buff]

A Bit of an Update

[ Hi everyone! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Since I haven’t posted anything new in the past... four months? Ish? I thought I’d take a moment to let you all know where things currently stand with regard to my life, this blog and its future.

Fair warning, though: I’ve got a lot to say. ]

[ Let’s start with the obvious: I haven’t posted anything new since December, and even then, I wasn’t posting very regularly.

There are reasons for that. Four big ones, to be precise.

The first (and biggest) of those is my job. I might have mentioned it before, but I started my first full time job last summer. It’s not a fun or fulfilling position and I plan on leaving it as soon as I possibly can, but right now, it’s the only source of income I’ve got. 

It also takes up most of my free time. Back when I was in university, I was able to answer multiple asks each day. Now, I’m lucky if I draft a new post once a week. 

Secondly, this blog has gotten a lot more attention than I ever expected it would.

As I’ve said many times before, I started faceless-conspiracy-buff as a passion project. I just wanted to try my hand at writing Q and maybe respond to a few questions from my friends. I had no idea that I’d end up with nearly three hundred followers. 

And I’m grateful for the attention! It’s really, really flattering to know that so many people are interested in my art and writing. 

But it’s also a little intimidating, which brings me to my third point: I’m trying to prioritize my mental health. 

I’m an anxious person by nature and the past year has been quite rough on me. Maintaining a healthy work-life balance is challenging under the best of circumstances and since my circumstances aren’t the best... I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Things have been slowly improving. I’ve been practicing self-care, spending more time with friends and family, and generally trying to deal with my issues in a healthy way. 

I’ve also been trying to cut out sources of unnecessary stress and, unfortunately, writing for this blog can be quite stressful. 

I want to learn to manage that stress before I dive back into my inbox, y’know?

Finally, I’m working on a couple other projects right now. My dad’s a writer, and his number one piece of advice has always been “make your own stuff”. He understands the appeal of fan fiction, but he has always stressed the importance of having full creative control of your work. 

And while I’d like to think that this version of Vic is uniquely mine, in the same way that Gail Simone’s Barbara Gordon is uniquely hers, I don’t own him. I can’t put any of my asks in my portfolio, or submit my flash fiction for publication. 

I like writing Q, but I think it’s important for me to create original stuff too.

All of this is a long way of saying that there were legitimate reasons for my absence this time around.

I don’t want to abandon this blog. I don’t intend to abandon this blog.

I may eventually decide to throw in the towel, but I don’t plan on leaving without giving my boy a proper send off. 

Q is still a major source of inspiration for me and a huge comfort character to boot. He is, for lack of a better term, blorbo from my shows. I love him.

And I love you. All of you. The mutuals, the strangers. The long-time followers, the newbies. The AIs, and the Riddlers, and the Dannyzens, and the vampire hunters, and all the people who send me in-character messages and delightful fan art.

I love you all.

Working on this blog has been hard, but you guys make it worthwhile.

Expect some kind of... something, in the near future. The issues I mentioned will probably keep me from settling into a schedule, but I’m going to try to put something together for all you kind, patient people. It’s the least I can do. ]

[00katrinka00]

Landcaster Legacy Gen 7 Update #59

Dear Diary, Today is moving day. Jenna's nana was willing to rent us a place in Del Sol Valley, and I can't wait until we get there. I know with hard work and dedication I will be able to become the absolute best signer in the save file. -Violet

As soon as Violet stepped downstairs, Grandpa Matthew pulled her in for a hug. "I'm going to miss you so very much," he told her. "Oh, Grandpa, we'll be fine." "I know you will be; I'm not worried about you. Make sure you watch that great great grandmother of yours though."

"Haha, Matthew," replied Lacy and she pulled her Grandson in for a hug. "This isn't my first time living in Del Sol, remember." "I'm only teasing," Matthew assured her. "I'm ten times more responsible than Violet, you should be having me watch over her." "I don't think so."

After goodbyes were said in Copperdale, Mads and Ethan helped the girls move their things to Del Sol Valley. "That looks like everything," replied Ethan. "Thanks for everything, Dad," said Violet. "Just make good choices," he told her. "I know you're going to do great things."

"Oh, Lacy," Mads began to say. "I know these last few months have been hard on you, but feel free to call whenever." "Thanks, Mads," replied Lacy. "Seriously, if you just need someone to talk to, if you want meals prepped, anything, just call." "Will do."

Hugs were exchanged. In the moment Mads wasn't feeling too emotional, but she knew that would change as soon as she and Ethan left. As soon as it fully hit her that half of her children were out of the house. What would she do now? Mades contemplated going back to work.

While Lacy bid her goodbyes to Ethan, Violet stood with her mother. "I love you so much sweetheart." "Love you too mom." "You're probably tired of hearing this but make good choices. You have so much potential to do wonderful things, and I'm proud of you." "Thanks mom."

After Mads and Ethan departed, Violet turned to Jenna and Lacy. "Okay, so why did I get stuck with the smallest room?" "Um, maybe, because I'm the one who got us the house," Jenna said. "I was forced to room with you for 4 years. I deserve the larger space," replied Lacy. "Ugh!"

"We should start looking for jobs," Violet changed the subject. She knew their bedrooms wasn't going to be a topic she'd win. "It's our first night in Del Sol," complained Lacy. "She's right though," Jenna agreed with Violet. "We will need jobs to pay rent."

After their conversation, Jenna headed to her room to film a video in the hopes she might finally be able to receive some royalties. Violet began her job search online. She was really willing to take just about any job out there, at least until her music career took off.

After she finished filming, Jenna headed out into the living room to watch TV. Meanwhile, lacy was checking herself out in the mirror, and very much so NOT looking for a job. "You look amazing," Lacy told herself, and then an idea popped into her head.

"We should go out to the club tonight!" Lacy exclaimed excitedly. "But what about work?" asked Jenna. "It's still our first night, we should go out and celebrate. We can deal with the job thing tomorrow," Lacy tried to convince her. "Okay fine!" Jenna agreed excitedly.

Lacy headed to Violet's room to invite her. "It'll be so much fun, Vi." "Lacy, no, I have songs I have to write, demo music to record, and a filler job to find. I simply cannot go gallivanting around the city drinking in clubs all night." "You used to be fun." "Lacy, NO!"

While Jenna and Lacy got ready, Violet decided to try writing some songs, so she headed to the piano. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" asked Jenna. "I'm sure," Violet replied "You're just going to sit around the house all night?" "Pretty much." "See you later then."

Jenna and Lacy immediately headed to the dance floor. After a few songs, Jenna spotted a very attractive stranger at the bar. "Lacy, do you see that hot guy over there?" "Yeah." "Should I go talk to him?" "I don't see why not," replied Lacy. Jenna headed for the bar. "Good luck!"

While Jenna chatted up the attractive man at the bar, Lacy spotted an attractive sim of her own. "Hey there," Lacy greeted her. "I couldn't help but notice you." "Same to you," the women replied. "I'm, Carla." "Lacy." "You come here often?" Carla asked.

Carla pulled Lacy over to a much quieter part of the club. They spent a bit of time talking, and flirting with one another, but all the talking very quickly subsided.

"You want to head back to my place?" Lacy asked. "Absolutely," Carla replied Lacy headed over to where Jenna still sat with the man at the bar. "You ready?" "One sec," Jenna then turned back to the man. "We're going to head out, but I did give you my number. Make sure to use it."

Once home, Jenna headed to bed, and Lacy brought Carla back to her room. "It's nice to be alone, somewhere quiet," she muttered. "I know what you mean," replied Carla.

[camillewasthere]

february 18

I made it back to my tumblr. I've been writing sporadically in different journals. But somehow I always find myself back here lol. I'm officially a single gal. Big wowzers. Honestly. I'm proud of myself for going through with it. I want to say that I regret not doing it earlier but I'm trying to be better about not regretting things. We were together almost 7 years but it honestly felt like 4. The pandemic really prolonged things. It's easy to go over all the things that could have been different if I did so and so earlier or took the other direction in the fork but none of that matters because this is now. All I can worry about is now. Not even worry, really. But think. Now is all I have.

My mental space has cleared a lot. But now it's consumed by other issues. I got a pap at my recent appointment with my new pcp and I officially need to get a leep procedure in April lol. Is it weird that i'm not even stressing. As much as it sucks, I'm glad that I caught it this early. Hopefully it's something that just goes away after that but who knows. What's the point in stressing about outcomes I have no control over currently. That's only semi-true. Technically I can boost my immune system to make myself less susceptible. I'll get there eventually. Right now, my head is one big jumble of things I need to do. Different roads I can take and which one sounds best. I'm so so so so torn right now. I love my dogs. I would never be able to just give them up. So I'm stuck. I'm trying to reframe my mindset though. Why do I feel stuck? Is it because I feel held down by them? What is my alternative? Being lonely but with more money. Is that better? It's hard to say. But I know they love me. They rely on me. Just like kids rely on their parents. I'm not fucking evil lol. So I need to be responsible and just figure it out. I know I will but the thought makes me anxious. The only way it would work and I would feel comfortable is if

1) I pick up one extra shift a week

2) I move to the bay area and make almost double what i'm making

3) Move to Hawaii

4) Find someone reliable to help me (aka a family member)

5) Find my dogs a step dad LOL

It's only been about three months since the breakup but it feels like it's been longer to be honest. 2023 literally felt like a year squeezed into a few months. Who the fuck was I even. I'm trying to find the person I used to be, but now with added wisdom lol. I don't feel old at all. But sometimes I see people a few years younger than me and think shit. I'm getting to the point where I'd be dating full ass adults. Like 35+ year olds. Fucking barf lol.

I just want to be youthful forever. This brings back the conversation about kids lol. Fuck kids honestly. I used to be so scared of the time constraint. But deciding in my head that it's okay if I don't have kids is liberating. Why have them. I have family. I have my sister and my brothers. And possibly a future husband/partner idfk.

I've been feeling very apathetic about it all, which is fine. I really enjoy focusing on myself. As uncomfortable as this has all been, it's also been beautiful. I'm learning a lot about myself and what I expect out of my life. I enjoy my own company, truly. We'll see where i'll be in my next update. As much as I love the idea of dating someone new, I also mentally can't imagine it lol. Lori and her boyfriend are trying to set me up with a close friend. Unfortunately for me, i'm the biggest fuckin creeper known to man and I stalked his profile pretty heavily LOL. As embarrassing as that is. Old Camille would act on impulse probably. Do things to force an outcome. New Camille is realizing that I'm worth more than that. I'm not going to be the person who obsesses first anymore. I want someone who wants me the way that I used to want other people. I deserve that for myself. Anything less than is just not worth my time anymore. I'm so tired of wasted time.

xx me