#upgrading my roster

[devotion-between-the-wheat]

it's late, but I do want to show off my most recent st.ar rail 5☆:

[joz-yyh]

I am actually re-downloading Darkest Dungeon on my switch cuz I haven’t played in forever (like can’t even remember -- it’s been months) which means I am probably going to loose characters (which I dread) because I’ve forgotten very important enemy weaknesses, but here we go, yolo~ JUST OPENED UP MY FILE AND THE LAST TIME I PLAYED WAS 11/13/2021! I AM ALSO ON WEEK 145 BECAUSE I AM A COMPETITIONIST AND MUST GET ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS!!

[rollingsins]

Quinn Bailey Must Die

P1 | P2 | P3

summary: Quinn Bailey is yours and Tara's man-eating, sexed up, horn-dog roommate. She's cool at first, you think. Until she sets her sights on Tara. 

warnings: (+18), Tara is Ghostface, language.

word count: 6.6k

a/n: set in the all hers universe, just a lil (big) one shot. love u guys, as always let me know your thoughts, always makes my day :))

Quinn Bailey is - to put it lightly - an absolute pain in your ass. 

New York City is expensive. 

College is expensive. 

And despite your parents' assistance and you and Tara both working part time jobs, it just isn’t feasible for you to get your own place in the city. 

So you’d put an ad in the paper. Found Quinn. She’d seemed fun at first - lively. The type of girl you’d want to be friends with in a new city like this. A tried and true party girl, glimmering like a jewel in a sea of dreary faces. 

But her sparkle had lasted all of three weeks. 

First it was the dishes. 

She left them piled up in the sink, unattended. For days, sometimes weeks. 

A little pet peeve of yours, but it wasn’t anything major. 

It had nothing on the men. 

They were like a revolving door. An entire roster of bodies to keep her warm. 

Short men. Tall men. Thin men, muscular men. Men with beards. Men without. Pretty men, sometimes, even ugly men. 

If he lived in the tri-state area and had a penis - likely he’d seen the inside of your apartment (and your roommate). 

But really, you’re not in the position to complain. 

You and Tara weren’t exactly known for having quiet sex, and of all the people you’d lived with, Quinn seemed to mind it the least. 

Maybe, looking back, that should have been the first warning sign. 

“I don’t know,” Quinn sighs one night over a glass of wine. Tara’s curled up in your arms, nursing her own glass as you play with her hair, “Sometimes I think I should just give them all up.” 

“Men?” You ask, furrowing your brow. You laugh a little at the thought, “I don’t know Quinn, outside of partying, men are your biggest hobby.” 

It’s not intended as a slight, and Quinn doesn’t take it as one. She throws a coy smile your way. 

“I don’t know, you two have just got me thinking lately,” She says, “I’ve never considered girls before. I mean, I like dick. A lot. But maybe dick isn’t everything.” 

“Poetic,” You say, an eyebrow raised. 

Men or women, it didn’t really matter who Quinn bought home. You’d have to wear your noise canceling headphones regardless. 

But Tara’s shifting in your arms, sitting up. Then, she narrows her eyes at Quinn.  

Like she’s scanning her for a potential threat. 

Although therapy had quietened some of Tara’s more jealous tendencies, it hadn’t gotten rid of them completely. Now, instead of stabbing - she chooses staring. 

You rub her arm, your quiet signal there are no threats here. 

“Besides,” Quinn says, throwing her hair back, “A chick can just strap one on, right? And it never goes soft. Maybe that’s an upgrade.” 

Tara’s tense against you. 

Quinn looks over at her, and suddenly notices the death glare she’s receiving. She pinches her eyebrows, a little confused. 

“What’s got you all worked up?” Quinn asks, with another flick of her hair. Her eyes widen, “Oh? You think I’m trying to make a play for your girl?” 

She leans back and lets out a loud laugh. 

“Chill Tara, if I was going to go for either of you, it wouldn’t be her.” 

And then it’s your turn to stare. 

Your hand freezes over Tara’s arm. A hot, familiar feeling of jealousy seeps through you, settles deep within your bones. 

Quinn catches your gaze and rolls her eyes. 

“Girls,” She says, exasperated, “You’re not the only pussy-lickers in town. Relax, okay?”

Tara leans back into you, seemingly placated. 

Quinn tilts her head, and downs the rest of her wine. She picks up her phone to call some other nameless man, no doubt to terrorize the two of you within the next half an hour. 

The conversation is over. 

But the jealousy bubbling under your skin doesn’t simmer down. And suddenly,  it’s the only thing you can think about. 

-

“What did she mean by that?” You agonize to Liv and Chad, a little later. 

You’re in the NYU quad, picking at your salad with a plastic fork. Tara’s in class, giving you more than enough time to stew on the conversation with Quinn. 

Chad slurps on his milkshake, seemingly unbothered. 

“She was just being friendly, YN, I wouldn’t read into it.” Says Chad, mouth open and full of food. 

Liv turns to him. Smacks his arm, a little too hard. 

“Friendly?” She says, voice shrill, “Friendly?” 

Chad blinks back at her, but she’s turning to you.  

“YN, she was not being friendly, don’t listen to him. Boys are so stupid.” 

“Hey-“ Interjects Chad, but Liv ignores him. She takes your arm. 

“She’s making a play for Tara, YN,” She says, a little urgently, “Girls do this. We like to play with our food before we eat it. She was scoping out Tara’s reaction before she put the moves on her for real.” 

You furrow your brow. 

“You think?” 

“I know,” Says Liv, “How do you think I got Chad?” 

Chad looks over to her, a little owlish. 

“Huh?” He says, creasing his forehead, “I asked you out, babe.” 

Liv shoots him a look. 

“You asked me out after I spent two weekends at your house asking for Mario Kart lessons.” 

Chad’s eyes widen. 

“You said that was so you could beat your brother!” 

Liv gives you a look. 

“Women are masterminds, YN. Watch the fuck out.” 

-

Liv’s comments ring in the back of your mind for the rest of the day. 

Now that you think about it, Quinn had been lounging about the house lately in scantily clad outfits. 

Sleep shorts that rose almost up to her hips. Tiny tank tops that were almost see through. She giggled a little too hard at Tara’s jokes, gushed over Tara’s cooking as if Tara was Gordon Ramsey himself. 

You’re starting to see it. 

Quinn liked her conquests. 

Men were easy, women a little harder - but for a girl who liked to conquer, who better than Tara? 

Your sweet, loving, loyal and devoted girlfriend. 

Prying Tara away from you wouldn’t be child’s play. 

Truly the Mount Everest of conquests. 

“What’s wrong baby?” Tara asks you a little later, after you’d spent half the night glaring at Quinn. 

She’d been traipsing around all afternoon in a pair of black panties and an old t-shirt, an outfit that wouldn’t have made you think twice about it a few days ago. 

But it’s different now. 

Liv’s words ring loud in your head, “Women are masterminds, YN.” 

You don’t respond, instead dropping a soapy pot to the countertop and watching as Quinn disappears into her bedroom, her phone pressed to her ear. 

Tara snakes her arms around your waist, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of your neck. 

“Babe?” Tara prompts. 

“Nothing,” You mumble. You’re in your own head now, half afraid if you say it out loud it will become true. 

You feel Tara’s pout against your shoulder. 

“Something’s wrong, you barely said anything when I tried to get you to watch Saw III,” She says, turning you in her arms. 

She raises an eyebrow to punctuate her point. 

“And you hate gore movies.” 

“I like movies that make you happy,” You lie. 

Tara furrows her brow. 

“Okay, something is definitely wrong,” She says. She stands on her tip toes and presses the softest kiss to your cheeks, “Tell me babe, what is it?” 

You bite your lip. 

Tara is your girlfriend, you reason after a moment of hesitation, and if anyone were to understand jealousy - it would be her. 

You sigh and loop your arms around Tara’s waist. 

“Is Quinn… do you think she’s acting weird?” 

Tara frowns. 

“No weirder than usual.” 

“It’s just…” you chew your lip, “I think she might.. be into you, babe.” 

Tara shoots you a look. 

“I don’t think so,” She says. She leans up and presses a kiss to your lips, “She has a pretty solid roster of dudes to keep her entertained.” 

She brushes a stand of hair out of your face, “Is that what’s bothering you, baby? You know you have nothing to worry about. I only have eyes for you.” 

It placates you for only a moment. 

Of course you don’t have anything to worry about. Tara adores you. Tara’s killed for you. Tara loves you with every fiber of her being. 

It’s just… 

Quinn is pretty. So pretty. 

Tara had fallen hard and fast for you, who’s to say she couldn’t fall the same way for someone else? 

And then the dread is back. 

“It’s just… Liv said-“ 

Tara groans. 

“Babe, don’t worry about what Liv has said. She barely knows the days of the week.” 

“But she knows how to get guys,” You say, a little pointed. 

Tara tilts her head. Her eyes are warm, the softest smile on her lips. 

“I’m not a guy,” Tara promises. She nuzzles her nose against yours, “Quinn could parade around here naked doing backflips and I wouldn’t look twice at her. You know that, babe.” 

You do know that. 

And so you let Tara press warm kisses into your neck and drag you back to the bedroom. 

Make sure to moan a little louder than usual just to remind Quinn exactly who Tara belongs to. 

-

It doesn’t work. 

Because of course, why would it work? 

The barrage of men flitting in and out of Quinn’s room comes to a screeching halt. She’s celibate for almost a week, focusing all her sexual energy on your girlfriend. 

It’s subtle, in the masterful kind of way Liv described. 

“Man,” She sighs loudly, one morning from her spot at the kitchen counter, “Tara, do you think you could help me on this paper for film class? I have to write a paper on iconic women in horror.” 

Tara springs to action, charging away from you like this is her sole purpose in life: to share her catalog of benign horror knowledge to any pretty girl who looks her way. 

You fold your arms, unhappily. 

“Start with Ellen Ripley,” Tara commands, before she even sits down. Quinn begins typing, madly. Tara pulls up a chair next to Quinn’s, leaning in a respectful distance to peer down at Quinn’s screen.  

“Signorney Weaver’s impact on horror is maybe one of the things that made me interested in horror to begin with.”

“I didn’t know that,” Quinn coos. She touches Tara’s arm, only slightly, leaning in until their shoulders brush, “That’s so cute, Tara.” 

Tara draws back, clearing her throat. 

“When you’re done with Sigourney, maybe touch on Jamie-Lee-Curtis.” 

Quinn blinks over at her, eyes round, like an innocent doe. 

You know better. 

Your eyes narrow as you stand, reaching for your purse. 

“Baby,” You remind Tara, leaning over to touch her back, “We need to get groceries today. Before Sam comes to visit.”

Quinn’s schoolgirl act drops immediately. Her eyes frost over slightly as she looks over at you, only the tiniest twinge of irritation apparent. 

“Maybe you could do that later, YN?” She asks, voice tilted, “I have to get this paper done before tonight.” 

“Sorry,” You flash her the mildest smile, not sorry at all, “Tara’s sister is coming all the way from California. We need to get the place ready, right babe?”

Tara nods, turning to Quinn to shrug.  

“Google should be able to help,” She says, scooting off her chair and grabbing her coat, “Carrie’s a great film too, if you’re in a pinch.”

“Well, maybe you can help me when you get back?” Quinn asks, a slight pout on her lip as she looks at Tara. 

Your eyes narrow, but Tara nods, helpfully. 

“Sure.” 

-

Naively, you’d hoped Quinn would get bored with this little game she’d started. 

Her attention span is short, you’d reasoned, as soon as she’d figured out Tara isn’t returning any of her flirty looks or comments, she’d get bored. 

You’d been wrong. 

If anything, Tara’s lack of interest only seems to spur Quinn on more. 

Most of your classes are in the mornings, Tara’s in the afternoon. Tara walks you to class, leaves you with a soft kiss and an “I love you”, but you know Quinn doesn’t work until the evenings, and it’s just her and Tara alone in that tiny little apartment for hours on end. 

So you toil in your classes. Imagine the worst. 

Tara and Quinn, sitting side by side, watching horror movies. Quinn touches her arm, then her thigh, leaning in to kiss her. 

Tara bats her away, most times you think about it. But sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes she lets herself be kissed. Sometimes she lets Quinn touch her, undress her. Fuck her. 

And those sometimes become all you can think about. 

This is a new challenge, one that has rarely surfaced in your relationship. 

Tara is so enamored with you, most people don’t even bother attempting to seduce her. But Quinn isn’t most people, she’s persistent and pretty and maybe Tara isn’t a guy, but that doesn’t mean she can’t fall for the same traps a lot of them do. 

A sticky hot, honey-trap by the name of Quinn Bailey. 

“What are you doing?” You ask, a little stern when you walk into the apartment that afternoon. Tara’s curled up onto the couch, blanket wrapped around her. Quinn’s hovering over her, the back of her hand pressed against Tara’s forehead. 

A prickle settles down the back of your spine. Your jaw clenches. 

But Tara doesn’t even look over, just nuzzles herself deeper into her blanket. 

“Tara isn’t feeling well, poor baby.” Quinn coos. 

You drop your bag, ignore the rageful little demon in you that wants to bat Quinn’s hand away and fall to your girlfriend's side. The tip of Tara’s nose is red, and her lips are chapped. As she blinks up at you, you notice her eyes are hazy. 

“Honey,” You say, all thought of Quinn gone as you press your lips to Tara’s cheek, “Why didn’t you call?” 

“It’s nothing, just a cold,” Says Tara, but she curls into your side anyway. You press a gentle kiss to her clammy forehead and rub her arm. Quinn disappears into the kitchen, returning with a small bowl. 

“I made her some tea,” Says Quinn, “And some soup from scratch.” 

You blink up at her. You’ve never seen Quinn cook anything in her life. She’s all Deliveroo and fruit roll ups and toast. But the kitchen sink is awash with stray noodles and dirty pots. The smell of soup lingers. 

“Thanks Quinn,” Tara murmurs, reaching out to take the bowl from her hands, “You didn’t have to do that.” 

The angry, jealous demon is back. Quinn’s smile is unsettling, almost triumphant. 

As if she’s out-girlfriend-ed you. 

You swallow the urge to punch her in the throat. 

“No, you didn’t.” You say, warily, “Tara’s allergic to MSG, you didn’t put any of that in it, did you?” 

Quinn shakes her head, her smile coy. 

“All natural, only the best for our girl.” Quinn says, and then squeezes Tara’s shoulder. 

You glare as she cleans up the dirty plates and contemplate homicide for the rest of the evening. 

-

When Tara’s feeling better, you’ll bring it up, you reason with yourself the next morning. 

Quinn Bailey is becoming a pest, a horned up sex-pest determined to get her claws in your girlfriend. 

It has to stop. 

The solution? 

This is where you’re a little stuck. You don’t know the solution. Strangling Quinn sounds great on paper, but not so much in practice. 

Dead people don’t pay rent, that’s the only thing you know for sure.

You contemplate this over the next couple of days, between wrestling a hot water bottle for Tara out of Quinn’s hands, and almost jogging down to the corner store at the end of your block to beat Quinn for the tylenol. 

Tara’s such a baby when she’s sick, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think she’s starting to enjoy this. Two women fawning over her, competing for who can nurse her the best. 

And the worst part is, Quinn knows exactly what she’s doing and she wants you to know it. 

She doesn’t say it, not outright, too smart to play her hand too quickly. 

She grins as she spoonfeds Tara some leftover soup, flashes you a look as she dabs Tara’s sweaty forehead with a damp cloth. 

She raises an eyebrow at you as Tara croaks out to her, asking for more tissues. 

It makes you stew. 

It makes you want to grab the kitchen knife out of the top draw and slam it through her stupid neck.

It makes you want to grab her by the hair and throw her out of the window of your seventh story apartment. 

But you resist. 

Let her think she’s winning. 

It’ll make the victory you claw from her hands all the more sweet. 

Tara’s feeling better a few days later, and with her recovery comes the first taste of victory. 

Quinn’s making dinner in the kitchen - her newfound passion being culinary for your girlfriend. She hums a little, flitting between batting her eyelashes at Tara and shooting knowing glances in your direction. 

“Tara,” She says, just as she’s about to pour the tomato paste into the pasta “I can’t get this jar open. Can you help me?” 

Tara’s busy with her laptop, but she moves over regardless. She touches your shoulder lightly as she passes, and reaches out to take the jar from Quinn’s hand. 

It pops open immediately. You roll your eyes. 

Quinn beams, and as you look up, she’s running her hand over your girlfriend’s bicep. 

“You’re so strong,” She flirts, brazenly, “Thanks Tara.” 

Tara moves back to her laptop, unperturbed. 

When it comes to attention towards her she has always been oblivious. You let out a growl so low, no-one but you hears it. 

“Dinner’s up, Tara,” Quinn says, a few moments later, pulling out a couple of plates. 

You peer down at your book, suddenly very interested in the words. When Quinn had asked you your plans for the evening - grocery bags in hand - you’d neglected to tell her Tara had asked you out to dinner. 

Tara blinks over at her, a little confused. 

“Dinner?” She asks, closing the lid of her laptop. 

“Yeah,” Says Quinn with a sickly smile, “I made your favorite.” 

Tara tilts her head, “Oh. Sorry, Quinn, we’re going out tonight. I didn’t realize you were cooking for us.” 

Quinn stares a moment. 

“That’s fine,” She says, voice a little clipped, “Only, I asked YN and she said you guys were around.” 

You close your book and stand, grabbing your coat. 

“Oh yeah,” You say, smacking your hand to your head, as if you’d suddenly forgotten, “Dinner. I am so sorry, Quinn. Gosh, I am so forgetful sometimes.” 

Tara peers over at you, a little confused. 

Oblivious idiot when it comes to girls, yes, but not with you. You see the question in her eyes and neglect to answer it. 

Quinn’s eyes harden, but she doesn’t dare give up the jig. Not in front of Tara.

“It’s fine,” She says, “Maybe you can have it for lunch.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Tara says, a little absent minded as you wrap her jacket around her shoulders. 

You can tell she feels bad by the way she lingers. 

“We haven’t had a date night in a while, that’s all,” Tara explains. She wraps an arm around your waist and squeezes your hip, “Besides, I owe this one a dinner for taking such good care of me these last couple of days.” 

She presses a soft kiss to your lips, her brown eyes warm and shimmering. 

You can’t help the smile that snakes across your lips. 

Quinn crosses her arms, looking unhappy. 

“I seem to remember taking pretty good care of you,” She says, drawing Tara’s gaze, “Maybe you should be taking me out to dinner, too.” 

Tara’s eyebrows knit in confusion. She looks at you, a little helpless, like she’s suddenly aware she’s caught in a chess match she wasn’t aware she was playing. 

Bless her. 

Your poor, sweet, unsuspecting girlfriend. 

You squeeze her hand, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 

“

“Did you get the feeling Quinn’s mad at me?” She asks, “Maybe we should have invited her to dinner. She did make me a lot of soup.” 

You tilt your wine glass to your lips, needing the rush of the alcohol to get you through this conversation. 

When you set it down, Tara’s blinking back at you, with wide, brown eyes. 

“Remember what we talked about a couple of weeks ago, babe?” You say, “About my conversation with Liv.” 

Tara nods. 

“And have you noticed it, this past couple of weeks?” You prompt, “Quinn flirting with you?” 

Tara tilts her head. 

“No.” 

“Tara, she touched your arm and called you strong,” You say, pinching the bridge of your nose. Quinn had gone to work earlier that day, blown a kiss goodbye to Tara as she’d left. 

Made sure you’d seen it. 

Tara shrugs, “I’ve been in the gym, babe, I’m getting stronger.”

She flexes her bicep. 

“Look, babe, that’s all muscle.” She says, proudly. 

“That’s not the point, Tara,” You say, “She’s flirting with you. She’s been flirting with you all week.” 

Tara frowns. 

“She has?” She asks, looking a little perplexed. 

Then, she pouts. 

“So she was just complimenting my lasagne because she wanted to sleep with me?” She says, looking put out, “I thought she really liked my new recipe.” 

“Forget about the lasagne, Tara, this is not okay.” You say, “How would you feel if she were hitting on me?”

Tara frowns. 

“Not good,” She admits, “Bad. Really, really bad.” 

You sigh, dropping your fork onto your plate. 

“She’s going to have to go,” You tell Tara, “If she can’t respect our relationship, she can get the fuck out.” 

Tara bites her lip. 

“Okay, babe,” She says, a little wary, “It’s just… rent is due next month and I don’t know how easy it’s going to be to replace her.”

She squeezes your hand, a little hasty as she sees the look on your face. 

“I’ll talk to her,” Tara says, leaning up to kiss you, “I’ll remind her I’m taken and not interested. And if she still tries it after that, she goes. How’s that, babe?” 

-

Tara’s talk with Quinn happens a little later. 

You climb into bed, head tilted as you hear the quiet murmur of their voices down the hall. It doesn’t sound heated, and you hear Quinn giggling as she tells Tara goodnight. 

You frown as Tara enters the room. 

“It’s just a misunderstanding, baby,” She says as she climbs into bed, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, “She doesn’t like me. She told me she’s just been a little clingier than usual because we’re her only friends.” 

“Babe-“ You start with a huff, ready to climb out of bed but Tara’s hands grip around your waist. 

“I know, I know, babe.” She assures, pressing another quick kiss to your neck, “I know you think it’s all bullshit so I told her straight up. I told her I’m in love with you and if she tries anything we’ll kick her straight out.” 

You frown, turning in her arms, “Really?” 

“Really.” Tara says, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, “And I promise to keep my distance, okay babe? She can flirt until the cows come home, it’s going to fall on deaf ears.” 

She snuggles into your chest, soothing your hammering heartbeat with a kiss. 

“I love you. Only you.” 

-

True to her word, Tara goes out of her way to avoid Quinn. 

Gone are their cozy little sessions on the couch watching horror movies. Tara refuses Quinn’s cooking, turns down each of Quinn’s requests to hang out, or help her with homework, or whatever other brainless task Quinn can think of to get them to spend time together. 

The rental market is fucked, you discover in the interim. 

No way can you and Tara afford to move out, and even if Quinn did leave, it could take months to replace her. 

“No,” Mindy says, point blank when you ask her, “Not unless you and Tara swear to a vow of celibacy.” 

You sigh, unhappily. 

“Great,” You say, slumping back into your seat, “We’re going to be stuck with her forever.” 

Mindy looks over at you, taking a little pity on you. 

“Why don’t you ask Chad and Liv?” She suggests, “They won’t be able to hear you fuck over Liv’s soap operas anyway.” 

“I already asked,” You say, voice gloomy, “They’re in a two year contract.” 

Mindy shoots you a sympathetic smile. 

“You’ll find someone,” She says, “You just need to put some feelers out there.” 

And so you do. 

You spend the morning in class writing up the ad. You’ll put in the paper tomorrow, you figure. 

When you get home, ready to avoid Quinn and spend a night snuggling in bed with Tara, Tara’s already at the door. 

“Hey babe,” Tara says, bouncing up to greet you with a kiss. She smiles, lowering her voice, “Missed you. Wanna shower with me?” 

You smile and kiss her. 

“You know we can’t,” You say, regretfully, “Last time we used up all the hot water.” 

“So let’s have a cold shower,” She suggests, her smile turning into a leer, “I’ve got other ways to warm you up.” 

“Izzie, how are you? It’s been ages!” Quinn sounds from the living room. Your smile drops - you didn’t realize she was home. Tara notices your face shift, and rubs your hip, comfortingly. 

“She’s been good, babe, I promise,” Tara says, “Are you sure you don’t want to shower with me?” 

“I’ll start dinner,” You say, leaning in to kiss her quickly, “You go, baby.” 

Quinn’s in the living room, lounging across the couch when you enter. 

“Yeah, I’ve never done it before,” Says Quinn. If she’s noticed you in the kitchen, she doesn’t acknowledge you. She kicks her shoes off and lays back into the couch, twirling her hair between her fingers. 

“I just can’t stop thinking about it. You know? I really want to try it.” 

You pull a few potatoes from the bag and pull out a knife. 

Just a little while longer, you think, trying to stop yourself from glancing over. Just a few more weeks of her and then you’d never have to see her again. 

Quinn looks over, catching your eye. 

As if she can tell you’re thinking about her. 

And then, she smiles. 

“I met a guy last night, took him home because he looked a little bit like her. Dark hair, dark eyes, short.” She says, her voice dropping to a quiet murmur, “Fucked his brains out imaging it was her on top of me. Inside me. And she will be. Soon.” 

She’s looking right at you. Her voice is a low taunt, daring you to take the bait. 

And you fall for it. 

Hook, line and sinker. 

You slam the knife to the kitchen counter, cheeks flushing red. 

“That’s it,” You growl as you launch at her, “You’re fucking dead, do you hear me?” 

Quinn stares a moment, her jaw slacking. 

As if she hadn’t realized her taunting would finally come to fruition. 

In the form of you launching to grab at the end of her hair. 

You tug at it, hard, determined to make the end of your fist meet the slant of her chin. She squeals, dropping her phone as you tug her towards you. 

“YN,” She cries, “Stop it, you’re fucking crazy-” 

“You think this is funny?” You growl, letting go of her hair to shove her back against the couch. You swing at her - and miss - and you know you must look crazed. All wild eyes, red-faced, three weeks of taunting finally setting you over the edge, “ You think trying to sleep with my girlfriend is a game?” 

“Tara!” Quin screams as you launch at her once more, “Tara, help!” 

Tara’s name on Quinn’s lips - if possible, just makes you angrier. You lunge over the couch, but she stands, squealing as she ducks your advances. 

You hear the bathroom door slam, and a flash of dark hair before you turn to see Tara, soaking wet, towel pressed around her torso. Her hair is soapy with shampoo and she looks dismayed as she looks at the sight in front of her. 

Quinn screaming like a child and you feral. Grabbing for her with all your might. 

“Baby?” She says, sounding scandalized, “What are you doing?” 

Quinn lets out a sob. Teary-eyed, she barrels over to Tara and stands behind her, grabbing at Tara’s arms as if she’s her knight in shining armor. 

“She’s attacking me, Tara,” Quinn blubbers out through her crocodile tears, “Make her stop, please.” 

“Oh, give it a rest, would you?” You say, voice harsh, “Tears? Really? Why don’t you tell Tara what you were saying about her on the phone, huh? Why don’t you be honest for once in your fucking life and tell her what you’ve been trying to do this entire time.” 

“I was talking about a girl from my Chemistry class,” Quinn says, as if you’re crazy, “Her name is Charlotte, I wasn’t talking about Tara.” 

“Oh, bullshit,” You scoff, “Just admit it. You’ve been all over Tara from day one.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, you crazy bitch,” Quinn says, “Look, just because you’re insecure, doesn’t mean I’m trying to sleep with your girlfriend.” 

“Enough,” Growls Tara. She wrenches her hand away from Quinn, turning to round on her. The anger within you dissipates slightly. You swallow as you’ve realized Quinn has inadvertently awoken The Rage. 

“Don’t you dare talk to her like that,” Tara says, her voice hot, “Don’t you fucking dare.” 

Quinn blinks at her. 

“Tara, it’s fine,” You say, hurriedly, “Babe, leave it.” 

And as much as you want to see Quinn get punched in the face, you don’t want The Rage to be the one to do it. 

You’d paid for too much therapy to see that fucker unleashed again. 

“Apologize,” Tara demands, her eyes flashing, “Apologize to her now.” 

You reach for Tara’s hand, tug her back towards you, out of Quinn’s reach. Her heart is racing,  her shoulders tight. You press your lips to her shoulder in an effort to soothe her. 

Quinn’s face contorts. You half think she’s about to spit right in your face. Maybe take a swing at you of her own. But then her face softens. 

“I’m sorry, YN,” She says, voice silky sweet, “It really was a misunderstanding. I think we’ve got off on the wrong foot. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I was trying to take your girlfriend from you. I’m not, I promise.” 

She sounds sincere, but you see right through her. 

“Alright,” Tara says, though her shoulders are still tight, “Good. Now I’m going to finish my shower, and the two of you are not going to kill each other. Right?” 

Quinn nods, solemnly. 

“Bedroom,” You tell Tara, “Now.” 

-

“She’s going,” Is the first thing you say as Tara shuts the door. You’re pacing back and forth, your skin burning hot and red, “She’s fucking gone, Tara. I mean it this time. I don’t care if we have to sleep on Mindy’s couch for the next three years, I am not spending another second with her-” 

Tara rubs her eyes. They’re a little red, stained with unwashed shampoo. 

“Baby, why don’t you sit down for a bit?” She suggests, “Look at you, you’re all worked up.” 

You turn to stare her down, anger flashing through your features. 

“She was talking about fucking you, Tara,” You hiss, “Right in front of me. She was talking about how she wanted you inside her.” 

Tara moves a little closer, trying to touch your arm. You shake her off to continue your pacing. 

“You’re mine,” You seethe, “I don’t know what part of that is so hard for her to understand.” 

“Baby-” Tara starts. 

“You’re not talking me out of this, Tara,” You snap, “I want her gone. Tonight.” 

Tara catches your arm. She draws you in for a long kiss. 

She’s trying to settle you down. 

It works.  

“I’m yours,” She says, softly, “Like I already told you, you don’t have to worry about her.” 

“You promised, Tara,” You say, voice agonized, “You promised if she tried anything else she’d be gone. And I swear to god, Tara - if you try to take her side-“  

Tara shushes you with another kiss. 

Then she draws back, her voice soft. 

“Of course I’m not going to take her side, sweetheart,” Tara says, “I’m your girlfriend. I’m always on your side. She’s going. You don’t have to ask twice.” 

This relaxes you a little. Tara presses another lingering kiss to your lips. 

“Like hell we’re sleeping on Mindy’s couch, though,” Tara says, crinkling her brow, “Sam can lend us the money. She won’t mind.” 

Sam might mind. 

But it’s really the least of your worries. 

“Thank you,” You say, sighing as you lean into Tara’s chest. 

Tara squeezes your shoulders. 

“Let me finish my shower,” She says, “And then I’ll talk to her.” 

She eyes you, warily. 

“Maybe you should take a walk or something, babe,” She says, after a moment of hesitation. She brushes your cheek, “You’re all red in the face.” 

You frown. 

“If you think I’m leaving you here with that sexed-up-piranha-” You start with a growl, and Tara draws her arms back around your shoulders. 

“Alright, alright,” She concedes, “It’s okay, babe, we’ll do it together.” 

But by the time Tara’s out of the shower, Quinn is long gone. 

You spend the night seething, not even Tara’s gentle kisses enough to coax you out of your mood.

In the morning, you hunt through the apartment like a lion hungry for its prey but she’s nowhere in sight. 

She’s stupid enough to try you, but not so stupid enough to hang around for the fallout. 

When you head off to class, Tara reassures you with a gentle squeeze of your hand.

“She’ll be back here at some point,” Tara says, “As soon as I see her I’ll tell her to pack her bags.”

Economics flashes by in a rage-filled trance. You don’t even bother with your marketing paper. You’re worked up. 

You just want her gone. 

And so you skip the rest of your morning classes and head home.

You don’t bother smiling at the doorman, fish your keys out of your pocket in a grump. 

When you get to the door, you tilt your key in the lock, fiddling around to pry the door open. 

And then you hear it. 

A cry - it’s Tara, and then you hear Quinn. She’s squealing again. You blink. Your mind runs rampant with the possibilities. 

Tara with her knife, plowing through Quinn with the kind of ire only The Rage can bring. 

Tara grunts, and it’s familiar. Your stomach lurches. You might be sick. 

You know that grunt. 

The indicator Tara might be plowing Quinn in a much different fashion. 

Betrayal sinks deep within your veins. You fumble with the door, almost pry it off its hinges in your effort to barge through it. 

It swings open, and the lump in your throat grows with the thought of what you might find on the other side of the door. 

But what you see isn’t what you expect. 

You blink. 

Nothing could have prepared you for the sight in front of you. 

“Tara,” You hiss as your jaw drops, “What are you doing?” 

Tara has Quinn in a firm grip. Her legs are wrapped tight around Quinn’s waist, she has Quinn’s head between her arms in a chokehold. Quinn’s eyes are wide. She struggles desperately against Tara’s grip, eyes bulging as she tries to wrangle her way out. 

The scene in front of you would be comical, if it weren’t real. 

But it’s very real. 

Quinn looks over to you the moment Tara does. 

The sound of your voice is her escape. 

Tara turns to you, grip lessening only slightly as she realizes your presence. Her brown eyes widen, the way they do when she knows she’s in trouble. 

Quinn pulls herself out of Tara’s grip with a heavy gasp, almost shoving Tara to the floor. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Quinn says, voice high as she stands, “Are you actually serious right now?” 

“Explain, Tara,” You say, voice flat, “Now.” 

Tara looks over to you, eyes wide. She splutters as she speaks. 

“She tried to kiss me, babe,” Tara says, voice aghast, “She tried to kiss me and I didn’t know what else to do.” 

Quinn’s breathing heavily. 

She’s scary like this. Thundering over Tara’s tiny frame like she might snap her in two. 

“I throw myself at you and your first reaction is karate?” Quinn says to Tara. Her eyes are wild. She’s pissed, “What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Tara fires back, “I have a girlfriend.” 

You throw your bag to the ground. The heavy, unsettled feeling that’s stayed with you for the last three weeks is boiling. If Quinn doesn’t leave now, there’s no telling what you’ll do next. 

“Get out,” You tell Quinn, “You don’t live here anymore. Get your shit and go.” 

Quinn doesn’t move. 

“Get out,” You insist, “Before I kill you myself.” 

Quinn shoots an angry look at Tara, before redirecting it at you. 

“Fine,” She says, “You two deserve each other. Fucking Jackie Chan and Princess Prissy-”

“Out.” You snap as she grabs her purse. 

She shoots you an angry glare. 

“You can forget about rent,” She sneers, “And good luck finding someone else to live in this shitty apartment.” 

Your palms are sweating as she slams the front door shut. 

Tara looks up at you, eyes still wide, a little sheepish as you close in on her. 

“I didn’t kiss her babe, I swear,” Tara promises, leaning up to grab your hands, “She leaned in and I grabbed her before she could get close.” 

“I know you didn’t, babe,” You say after a long moment. Your voice softens. You brush her dark hair out of her eyes, “I know.” 

She’s quiet a moment. 

“I’m sorry that we didn’t kick her out sooner,” She says, “I really did just think she was trying to be my friend.” 

You sigh. Tilt your face to hers. 

“I know, babe,” You say, then you snort, “I can’t believe you put her in a headlock. Sam’s going to love that.” 

Tara pouts.

“She deserved it,” She says, “And speaking of Sam…” 

She looks up at her, eyes shimmering. 

“I talked to her about the rent,” Tara murmurs after a moment, “She agreed to help us out.” 

“Oh?” You say. A spark of hope sears deep within your chest. 

Tara bites her lip, “There’s a catch, though. She’s going to come live with us until we find a new roommate.” 

“Oh.” You say with a frown. 

“You’re not mad, are you?” Tara asks, a little hesitant, “I’d tell her no, but we’re really in a pinch, babe.” 

“It’s fine,” You say, after a moment, “I don’t mind living with Sam.” 

Tara hums. She leans in close against you. 

“And hey,” You nudge her, trying to keep the mood light, “At least I don’t have to worry about Sam trying to get into your pants.” 

Tara wrinkles her nose. 

You laugh. 

Lean down to kiss her, deep. 

Fuck you Quinn Bailey, you can’t help but think. 

You hope she enjoyed her little game.

Because when it comes to Tara, you never lose.

[allmyn1ghts]

support system °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Jey Uso x Fem!Superstar!Reader

synopsis: Just Jey being your number-one supporter <33

warnings: none really, just some fluff (who doesn't love a lil fluff!?) + suggestiveness sprinkled in

word count: 1,289

a/n: first fic on here! I hope this isn't too bad for my first time 🫣 I wanted to write something simple and sweet for Jey bae so here yall go <3

"You gon kill it out there bae!" you smile at your loving boyfriend, Jey, who's sitting on the couch in your locker room while you prep for your championship match against Charlotte Flair. The two of you have had an ongoing rivalry for the past couple of weeks. Tonight was finally the night to settle it, with you defending your Women's Championship Title.

"You know it, baby! Imma go out there, deal with her ass and come back STILL being champ." you said confidently, following your pre-match stretch routine. After finally being moved to Smackdown's main roster, you'd been everywhere. From doing promos almost every week, many main event matches on Smackdown, and even having a couple matches on bigger shows like Fastlane, You couldn't be missed. And Jey was loving every single bit of it. He truly was your number-one supporter. He always encouraged you to take every opportunity offered to you.

After Jey left the mess that is now the Bloodline, he had more time to be with you but also doing his own thing on Raw. He essentially became the Paul Heyman to your Roman Reigns. Whether it be him hyping you up, posting you on his Instagram, or being there for your matches, his support was unmatched. In return, you'd do the exact same for him.

"You damn right! Can't wait to see yo sexy ass in that ring." he says with a big smile. You roll your eyes playfully. "You think im playin', that damn gear is gon be the death of me!" When you got upgraded to the main roster, you wanted new gear. Something that said sexy but badass. You can't lie, your new gear really showed off your toned figure. "Keep it in your pants Jey, I still gotta match remember?" you giggle. "plusss, I need my number one supporter in the right headspace!". He looks at you with a straight face, "C'mon on y/nnn, we got like, thirty minutes till you on." He gives you that look while he slowly starts to manspread. You strut towards him with a big smile on your face, finding your spot on his lap and giving him a kiss on the lips. He smiles at you as his hands find your waist, pulling you closer into another kiss.

The two of continue your mini make-out session. "goddamn, you so fine". His hands are all over you and you moan quietly at his words before being interrupted by a knock at the door. "Y/N you're on in five!" It was someone from production letting you know it's time to go. Jey still continued to kiss you until you gently pushed him away. "Jey we gotta go," you say as he continues to kiss down your neck. You push him away with more force this time, standing up to grab your title and touch up your makeup. He gives you an annoyed look. "Once I retain my title, I'm all yours for the night. We can do whatever you want." you wink at him, heading toward the door. "Yeah?" he runs his hand over his beard, looking at you. "Bet, just know imma hold you to that baby" he says getting up and following you.

The two of you finally reach the gorilla position, waiting for your theme music to play. "You ready Uce?" he asks you. "Hell yeah, Lets do this shit!" he grabs your hand and does his classic "YEEET" that always makes you laugh. Once you hear your music, the two of you walk out hand in hand. You look at the crowd and smile. The fans love the unstoppable duo you and Jey have become. (they secretly love you more but don't tell Jey)

"Accompanied to the ring by Main Event Jey Uso, she is the WWE Women's Champion, Y/N!".

You smile hearing the announcer's introduction. You've always dreamed of being a WWE Superstar and it feels like a dream every time you walk out. The title around your waist shines against all the lights in the arena. You and Jey high-five fans as you make your way to the ring. Once reaching the ring, Jey holds the ropes open for you and holds his hand out. You take his hand, entering the ring. You climb the turnbuckles on each corner showing off your prized possession, Jey right behind you hyping you and crowd up like always. Before he leaves the ring, Jey kisses you, making the crowd go wild. "Good luck baby, you got this shit in the bag.". Your music dies down and you stare down Charlotte. You wave the title in her face, reminding her know who runs this division.

*Ding Ding Ding*

The two of yall give it your all. Clotheslines, DDTs, Dropkicks, suicide dives out the ring, you name it. Jey watches from the side of the ring constantly rooting for you, even distracting the ref if you need a minute to breathe.

"Yea Uce! Show her who the real champ!!"

"Cmon Y/N, you know how we do it"

"Get her ass good!"

You hit a crazy move? "Yeeeeet" and the crowd follows.

You finally hit Charlotte with a Superkick, paying homage to your man of course, knocking her to the ground. You climb to the top of the turnbuckle to hit your finisher. You look around at the crowd, they're chanting your name and you smile. You blow a kiss to your boyfriend before hitting a Swanton Bomb on her, finally going for the pin.

1...2...3...

Here's your winner, and STILL The WWE Women's Champion, Y/N!

You slowly rise back up, the biggest smile on your face as your title is returned to you. Jey rushes to your side, hugging you, telling you how proud he is of you. He raises your hand in the air, symbolizing your victory. You raise the title up with your other hand, staring into the camera in front of you, and begin your world-famous shit-talking.

"Can't nobody take away MY title, NO ONE."

"I run this division!"

Jey stares at you in awe for a moment and adds his two cents in.

"Aint nobody on top of us Uce, some real Day One Ish, YEET!"

.°˖✧

The two of yall finally make it back to your locker room. Jey hugs you from behind, kissing your cheek down to your neck. "Damn, you did that!" You laugh at him. "I told you I was gonna beat her ass!" you say as you gather your stuff.

"I love watchin' you kick ass, just does somthin' to me baby." he says kissng your cheek again.

"Oh really?

"Whatchu mean 'oh really', you know what yo sexy ass does to me! I been told you this.". Both of yall laugh at his horny comment. "Don't think I forgot about our little comprise, we gon finish what we started on that damn couch."

You turn to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck, his hands finding your waist once more. "Trust me Jey, I didn't forget.". You lean in to kiss him, only to turn back around and continue packing. "Ooo yo ass is so lucky I love you." Once you finish packing your stuff, you walk over to your man, whos patiently sitting on the couch. "Let's get back to the hotel so I can show you how much I appreciate your endless support", you say, smirking at him, slowly turning around and heading towards the door. He quickly gets up and picks you up bridal style.

"Oh my god, Jey what the hell?!" you laugh

"You takin' too damn long and you look too damn good for me to wait any longer"

Let's just say you were in for a longgggg night.

Thank you for reading!! if you enjoyed please reblog and let me know what you thought in the comments <3

request - masterlist - about me - who I write for

[coleskingdom]

Care

Jay White x F Reader

For @madhatterbri I hope you love this.

@midwestmade29

“Make him care” that had to be the stupidest thing the bastard has ever told me. I’ve had nothing but time to figure out how best to make him care. I have Colten and Austin on Penta and Fenix. That’s business , they’re his friends but in this business friends come and they go. He’d expect me to pull something out of that playbook, the boys have orders just to watch them for now.

I sit drinking my scotch in the hotel bar contemplating I catch a reflection in the bar mirror, I can tell she’s hesitating because I’m sitting here. She’s pretty, in that classic real sense.I’ve seen her look at me, the way she bites her lip as we pass each other in the hallways. Though if I paid attention to that I’d have taken half of the roster to bed, or at least had them on their knees in front of me. I catch her eyes in the mirror I smirk as the prettiest blush tints her cheeks. I wonder how much the bastard cares for her, or she cares for him. She lifts her chin not to back down realizing she’s now been caught. If a game she wants a game we can play.

“Y/N” I say it as if it’s my favorite word in the English language as I nod to the seat beside me. She hesitates momentarily realizing I’m the best and safest option to sit next to. “Jay” she says as she does that three point look, I almost chuckle at how easy this is going to be . I offer my hand as she struggles to get up on the awkward barstool, I let my fingers trace the inside of her wrist as lightly and intentionally as possible. “What are you drinking? Y/N” calling the bartender over. “I , um a hard lemonade.” I try to keep my face masked to keep from laughing “She will have a lemon drop martini, on the sweet side. I’ll take another scotch neat.” I wait till she takes a sip to see the satisfaction on her face. “That’s really good” the surprise in her voice , I wonder what other experiences I could upgrade in her life. “To drink well, is to live well or something like that.” I smirk.

“ Where’s the bastard of yours?” figuring out what my next move might be . “ He , uh he headed home. He was pretty upset about tonight. He just texted me he was out , he knows I have a flight out tomorrow we were meeting here because our schedules are so busy” her voice hurt and irritated. “That’s really a dick move” I softened my voice, turning to face her. “A real bastard move is more like it” she said a hint of venom in it. Sad I won’t work with, spite is my specialty. We sat and talked had couple more drinks. I paid the tab as she went to the bathroom. I left my room key on the bar with specific directions to the bartender that if she didn’t take it then to destroy it and let her know the tab was taken care of.

I had just about given up when I heard the soft knock on my door. I answered the door in the towel, leaning in the open doorway. Y/N stood there looking at me, I watched her as her breath hitched as her eyes followed the trail just below my belly button. “Y/N when was the last time you got exactly what you wanted?” not pushing her one way or the other, it’s more devastating when it’s her decision. A man can rationalize a lot of things but when she decides it’s a hell of blow one that outside of my personal vendetta sounded like he needed desperately. That blush was back as if it was the first time she’d ever been asked. For all I knew it might have been. “Too long Jay, too fucking long.” her voice shakes with vulnerability of that truth. “What did you come here for?” moving and opening the door wider and she stepped through it. She holds up my room key “ To return this.” I eye her and I can see the shiver of desire run through her. I step closer to her “ Y/N , you could’ve turned that into the front desk.” Brushing her hair out of her face. She steps forward and kisses me, it’s been a long time since I’ve been kissed with more passion than skill. I bury one hand in her hair, tilting her head to the side for better access. Y/N moans into my mouth, and I slide my tongue inside to finally get a taste of her. It’s minty she went back to her room , then made the decision to come here.

“ I’m sorry “ she stammers turning her head away. I grip her chin between two fingers and get a primal sense of satisfaction when her nostrils flare and her pupils dilate. She wants me. I know it. She knows it. Now the question is— what are we going to do about it? I lean in kissing her again testing the waters. Her fingers grip my shoulders, pulling herself up to wrap a leg around my hip. My hand move to her lower back. Tearing my mouth away, I stare down at her kiss-swollen lips. “Y/N, unless you tell me no, I’m taking you. I’m going to make you scream my name, as I go down on you, till you beg me to fuck you. Then you’re going to come harder than you’ve ever come in your life. I’m going to feel all the ways your body bends to my will. How that blush floods your body, how you’re breathing changes as you learn to breathe with me. “

Y/N’s response is to tighten her hold on the back of my neck and hop up, circling both legs around me and pushing her skirt up her thighs.

My free hand finds the curve of her ass, cupping and kneading like I was made to touch her. I taste her jaw and her neck as the heat of her pulses against my stomach.

Y/ N moans and throws out a hand toward my left. I take one step in that direction, but the couch is closer and way more convenient. I lower us both, and her ass hits the cushion at the same moment my knees hit the floor. “He would never do this.” her words draw my eyes up “Because you don’t want him to or because he’s too much of a selfish prick to give you what you want.” my hands running over the top of her skirt. Her heated gaze, and the way she bites her lip is the answer I need.

Her non answer gives me a dark sense of satisfaction as I press her thighs apart.

"Slide that ass out, love, because it's time I taste how sweet you really are."

After a moment of hesitation, she follows my directions, scooting her butt to the edge of the couch. I expect to see the fabric of some sexy panties, but instead, all I see is bare, wet pussy. I also see her phone and the bastards face through the pocket, as I swipe to answer the call.

"Dirty girl, you’ve thought about this. You don’t come to King Switches room with a dripping wet pussy. I’m going to teach you how to breathe with me." wasting no time getting my mouth on her.

The second my lips make contact, Y/N arches her back off the couch, my name a throaty moan echoing in the room. The caller has not hung up as possessiveness overwhelms me as I tongue and lick and grind down on her clit until she's writhing beneath me. I stick one of my fingers gauging her reaction, teasing her g spot, with the come hither motion. “Y/N tell me that you need to come? “ I put my mouth back on her sucking and thrusting my finger in and out. “More Jay, please right there.” I insert a second finger and add a little pressure to her stomach. Her hands grab my hair as I groan into her and she shatters . Her words are in comprehensible pants. “ Jay, please fuck me.” her voice needy and desperate. The phone still lit and connected. That kinky bastard must be liking what he’s hearing or is still in denial.

This next part has to be perfect, especially if he insists that he remains on the phone. I stand and pick her up laying her down on the bed. I remove her skirt dropping it towards the top of the headboard. I kiss her to keep her distracted as her hands roam my body, teasing me with her nails as they drift up and down my abs running her fingers lower removing the towel as she parted her legs open welcoming me in between. A pang of guilt hits me briefly, I reconsider momentarily but a woman like her would view this as a rejection. I bring her up and lift her up to take her shirt off. No bra, she knew what she wanted when she knocked on my door.

I kissed her in no rush as the sounds fell from her mouth were quickly becoming one of my favorite sounds. My mouth kissing her jaw as my hands found her perfect tits. I pinched her nipple to see how’d she’d respond, her hips bucked up into me as she called out my name. I took the other in my mouth sucking on being rewarded again with the sound of my name from her lips and the roll of her hips. “What do you need Love? I need to make sure you’re ready. I’m going to need you to take all of me. “ I reached down and teased her clit again with my fingers as my mouth alternated between her breasts . “ How are you so good at this?”she panted as another orgasm crashed through her. “ Because I care Y/N” my eyes still seeing the call connected as I raise up over her aligning myself an enter just as the the aftershocks began to wane but now I slide in, in one full stroke.

Giving her time to adjust, I kiss her languidly my tongue matching, as I begin to move inside her. “I don’t think I can” breathlessly, I stop “can’t what love” I ask as I look her in her eyes. “Come again, but you go ahead.” her voice soft , “ Do you want to come again? Do you want to come around my cock? Tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you.” I kiss her again hoping she knows I’m sincere. “Yes I want all of it but I don’t know what I need. “ she turns her head away from me unable to meet my eyes. “Hey, it’s okay, stop thinking, comeback to me.” I kiss her again she wraps her arms around me pulling me closer I adjust her legs so that I’m hitting all the right spots. Fucking hell she feels good, and her body is so responsive in this position. I feel the beginning of her orgasm, I need her to finish first, I reach down between us applying a little more pressure, I hear her gasp as she shatters screaming my name, the force of her orgasm pulled me with her as I follow her with a final thrust. She begins to stroke my hair and run her fingers up down my back. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but she’s trying to take care of me. I glance at the phone the call has been disconnected. I break the moment kissing her again as I head to the bathroom. I start a bath for her, I grab a washcloth ,some pain reliever and a bottle of water . I see my own phone and I can’t resist.

I text PAC “ I bet you care now don’t you, bastard”

I turn off my phone, and walk back into the bedroom now.

[sibylsource]

INTERNATIONAL LOVE. a basic plan friendly multimuse carrd template inspired by the stupid johnny cage memes that go to pitbull's international love. included is a rules, roster, and bonds page; you are free to edit this as you please so long that you DO NOT remove the credit.

demo : https://a652ba1c86ab30ca.demo.carrd.co/

want to upgrade to pro-lite? use my referral code link to do so to further support me! http://try.carrd.co/sibyl

TERMS OF USE : be sure that you have a free slot before purchasing. DO NOT: redistribute / resell this, remove the credit, claim as your own. if you intend to buy this for a friend, please adjust your quantity accordingly.

please feel free to dm me if you need any assistance on editing this!

[cerastes]

Now and then I think about how the nature of temporality in Arknights apropos of the main story relative to side stories (events) means that with a little effort, you can make a really good SRW-style SRPG with Arknights: There’s the myriad storylines, there’s the myriad characters, there’s a good combination of objective mechanical information and lore fluff for a lot of characters that would let you make really good, complete characters in terms of gameplay.

You could easily make something like:

1st Game: Main Story from Chernobog up until Faust and Mephisto; Break the Ice (can be a sizeable arc, allows for a lot of maps across the game’s length, likely early game until start of endgame); Maria Nearl (same as Break the Ice, midgame until the endgame); Under Tides (shorter than the previous two, end of midgame until the endgame, plus you get temporarily playable Irene in the vein of SRW giving you guest units for one or two maps in one game before they are fully recruitable in the next); Grani the Knights’ Treasure (you can cover this in one, maybe two maps);  Twilight of Wolumonde (medium length arc and due to its structure, perfect for sprinkling maps about it across the early to midgame); Heart of Surging Flame (one long map-two maps); Code of Brawl (easy two mapper); Children of Ursus (SRW-style revised to be mixed in with Chernobog part of Main Story); Who Is Real (you can squeeze 2-3 maps easily; start of endgame upgrade for units like Lava and Kroos).

2nd Game: Main Story from where game 1 left off up until Talulah and the Deathless Black Snake, effectively ending the game with the end of the first arc; Beyond Here (AKA Archetto; short arc); Both Gavial Events (you can make big maps with Great Chief, whereas Ideal City would be interspersed with other plots to give it meat in terms of combat, a common event in SRW); Pynus Sylvestris & Near Light (you can get either some real long maps out of this or several medium length maps), Stultifera Navis (around the early midgame, you can squeeze 2 to 3 maps easily, and Seaborn can make for versatile enemy types elsewhere), Mansfield Break (you could put this anywhere, and you can milk it for a number of maps); Invitation to Wine (same as Mansfield Break); Guiding Ahead (you can go crazy with Guide Ahead thanks to the setting of Laterano and the structure of the event plus Andoain fits the “fucking HARD endgame RR boss” archetype with strong attacks and high dodge to a tee); Lingering Echoes (same as Guiding Ahead, really); Dorothy’s Vision (you can squeeze out some 3 maps out of it easily and a lot of new enemy types)

In SRW fashion, the Main Story in general would find itself slowed down and modified with downtime much like the main arc in an SRW tends to be a slow, game-length affair that finds itself entwined with many of the other arcs in the game, and likewise the arcs with the main story and between themselves. Of course, this also diverges from actual canon in that a lot of people that Shouldn’t Be There canonically, in this game’s canon, Would Be There, and that goes for the good guys as much as it does for the bad guys, which is always part of the appeal of a good ol’ SRW. It’d also be cool to see secret recruitable characters that you can’t get in canon or that die in canon join you if you satisfy certain secret requirements, like getting playable Big Bob and Monch and Viviana/Candle Knight, or being able to save FrostNova and/or Faust. Hell, sometimes SRW likes to throw curveballs and give you unexpected characters, so catch me with my endgame maxed out Jesselton (unlock: Defeat Jesselton exclusively by using Mountain, Robin and Kafka in the final Mansfield Break mission) and my #KHAGANQUEST (unlock: Every time Tola appears, defeat him with Blemishine).

I think the main challenge of the game would be to have a cohesive roster; SRW games tend to have massive rosters but that’s due to the sheer amount of stories they tend to cover in one single game, it actually tends to be few characters from each individual story, except the “featured” stories, which get more screentime and roster slots. In regards to some of the arcs, this is pretty easy: Abyssal Hunter Arc characters aren’t many (Skadi, Specter, Gladiia in the first game, plus Irene and Lumen in the sequel) and some of them are universal (Kal’tsit and Elysium), but then you have to make a decision of what 3*s, for example, make the cut as fully playable and not just NPCs, so as to not have bloat: Lava and Kroos are easy picks, for example. Break the Ice can give you a lot of people (SilverAsh, Courier, Matterhorn, Pramanix, Cliffheart, Kjera, Gnosis, secret Monch, secret Degenbrecher), which would make sense if you make it a meaty arc in the game overall, plus there’s a good variety of units you can get outta that.

I think the cast also lends itself to the usual SRW archetype of units: Amiya fits the “RR” type of unit that has low health but high evasion (based on her moves in the trailers, she’s highly agile), Blaze on the other hand seems like a perfect fit for the “SR” type of unit that has very low evasion but instead has huge bulk and just tanks the attacks instead (based on her duty as a Centurion, catching a ton of enemies at once and dealing with them while holding them and tanking them). Other RRs that come to mind are Ch’en, Irene, Whislash, Kroos, among others, while other SRs that come to mind are Specter, Blemishine, Mudrock, Matterhorn, among others. Then you have the less common archetypes, like Getters, AKA glass cannons with average bulk and low evasion but BIG damage, which can be units like SilverAsh (with S3 specifically in mind, giving him huge offense but making him quite fragile) and Skadi (very high HP and damage but low Defense means that HP goes down fast). You’d also have plenty of characters that would make sense to have innate Leadership (buff aura for nearby units), such as Amiya, Kal’tsit, Gladiia, SilverAsh, Big Bob, among others.

It goes without saying that you can make full use of the SRW tradition of giving units specific, very powerful team attacks, some of which could be pure fanservice, like Amiya and FrostNova having a team attack, and others which simply make sense, like the Sui Sisters (Nian, Dusk and Ling), the Abyssal Hunters, Pramanix and Kjera, Big Bob and Mudrock, among many others. The possibilities are legitimately really cool to imagine.

The setting and cast just works for an SRW style game, man.

[stelladess]

After over half a year of playing Arknights I would just like to tell any new players to PLEASE UPGRADE YOUR 4 STARS Me not doing this earlier severely harmed my experience, having a more reliable and complete entire roster is SO much more important then having individual 6 stars to carry you and will make you have so much better of a time with the game And many of these 4 stars will continue being great WAYYY into the end game

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

your arknightsposting has motivated me to finally upgrade my roster and finally, finally beat 7-18. thank you. (sorry i have no one in my life who plays arknights and i need to put this out there)

Extremely funny message to send me considering I’m still on chapter 6 level-wise (I read it online at this point bc it’s more convenient). I’ve been busy playing the events and grinding to e2 operators for like over a year at this point and still haven’t actually played the main story like I want to. When they finally release an event I don’t give a shit about like the second r6 crossover event then I’ll finally have time lmao

[texasthoughtsaboutnothing]

The Economics of Limbus: why the Gacha isn't really worth it and why that's kinda cool actually

Preface, if you are new this doesn't apply to you but is worth keeping in mind, please read the whole thing.

Summarizing some cool things about Limbus Company and it's internal economy:

In Limbus Company you get a minimum of 750 Lunacy a week (usually more like 1050 because of various apolunacy or maintenance compensation) which is our Gacha currency. This comes out to roughly 25 - 30 pulls a month (not counting events, story, random gifts), which is more than par for this monetization model. Banner Pity is at 200 pulls and it doesn't carry over between banners, which in a vacuum kinda sucks shit, but Limbus is unique in having the Dispensary, a system where you outright buy IDs (units) for grindable currency (shards/shard boxes) which is gained from the primary mode of play (Mirror Dungeons, also called MD).

This is where the battle pass comes in. The battle pass gives 1 shard box for every level over 120 and the premium battle pass triples that output. It's not even terribly hard to max it out to begin with; a dedicated player can have it done before the respective Chapter is fully released as weekly content gives 30 BP levels and a single MD run otherwise gives you 3. This should also tell you just how many shard boxes you can grind out.

The consequence of all the above is that it's really easy to get the IDs you want. In fact, Limbus Company is the kind of Gacha game where you can get most if not all units from dedication more so than luck. The only limiting factor to grinding is, of course, daily stamina.

Here's the funny thing.

You get 750 currency a week as mentioned, but it only costs 26 for your first daily full stamina refresh, with the cost doubling every time after. You can daily refresh twice a day and still be Lunacy positive for the week. More importantly, it is mathematically more valuable to turn Lunacy into Stamina for acquiring IDs.

Buying stamina isn't new for a Gacha game, nor is the idea of doing so being better for your account. There comes a point where upgrade materials are more helpful than new units; most games have a point where buying stamina over pulling is the norm. However, most games don't let you fucking buy every unit with stamina locked currency.

The math on this is a little complicated and varies with your stamina cap which adjusts with your account level, but if you turn Lunacy into stamina you can grind more Mirror Dungeons for more BP levels for more shard boxes in a way that's more efficient resource-wise for getting units. A single 10 pull for 1300 Lunacy is the equivalent to 300-ish shard boxes if you double refresh over 16 days (or 500-ish boxes if you single refresh over 50 days). That is a guaranteed 3 star ID as opposed to a 2% chance for the same price, hell its a better deal as shard boxes give 1-3 shards and it costs 400 shards for a 3 star, you get an average of 1.7 3 stars worth of shards.

If a given banner unit interests you its far better to just buy the unit outright than pull, which is ultimately not too hard to grind out even with normal stamina gain without even thinking about refreshing. The end result of this is that you can get some of the best units very quickly and the game becomes a collector and more about team building and fun interactions, which the game design is leaning into. You can enjoy most of the roster and diverse gameplay without needing to whale and I think that is one of the things that sets Limbus apart.

Pictured, my collection of some of the best IDs in the game as a BP only player who took a 3 month break

CAVEATS

THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO NEW PLAYERS. A new player should still pull as normal because you will get something new almost every 10 pull for your first, like, 200 pulls. In addition, you need to actually be able to grind MD successfully and quickly for this to be worth it. Focus on beating up to or beyond Canto V before even thinking about this, and even then I'd say its early.

The math for this is very different if you don't have the premium battle pass. Remember, you get 2/3 fewer shard boxes per BP level on just the free pass. While it is still worth considering, a free account will have a much longer grind to do for similar results, but you can still have fun and use good units even without this method. For the record, the Limbus Pass is extremally worthwhile a purchase if you want to play this to the fullest, $14 every 4 months is barely Dolphining and you get a whole host of other powerful benefits, including broken EGO and even guaranteed seasonal 3 star tickets.

You have to grind. A lot. This isn't so straightforward as just Lunacy to Stamina to Boxes to Units, to convert stamina to boxes involves doing Mirror Dungeon. Thankfully Mirror Dungeons are a fun and entertaining roguelike gamemode, but it will take 30 minutes to do 1 run, 20 if you are speedrunning it with the best units. A full days' stamina is about 4 runs' worth, and 2 refreshes is about the same, so ask yourself if you are willing to spend 2+ hours a day doing MD runs for the unit you want? Limbus actually let's you convert stamina into stamina modules that have no cap and are what's actually used for content, you can just log in, convert, then do runs on the weekend. It's a good model that respects your time.

And the last and by far biggest caveat...

Walpurgisnacht

That will be its own post.

This post also won't get into stuff like Upties or Thread but keep in mind the above statement about how stamina becoming more useful than pulls is typical of Gacha games and Limbus is no exception as far as needing a lot of ascension/upgrade materials. Not as much as others, but units still need raising and all the above logic can be used even when you have everything and now need to get them useable.

Conclusions are hard, play Limbus Company.

[just-here-with-my-thoughts]

Welcome To The Outpost - MASTER LIST

Have you been following my Mayday & Crosshair fic 'Welcome to the Outpost'? Here's a complete list of all chapters, in case you missed one or just wanted to go back and re-read :)

1.1 - Frozen Mayday’s squad of 12 have been on Barton IV for months. When the power in the outpost fails the troopers have to huddle together for warmth – but they can’t forgo perimeter patrols as the power outage also means the sensors have failed.

1.2 - Rise From The Ashes The raiders have made it through the perimeter and Commander Mayday has been injured. With no response to their request for medical aid to be sent, he tends to his own wounds and rallies his men to continue protecting the base.

1.3 - Lost Battle An attempt to engage the raiders ends up attracting unwanted attention from the native wildlife, costing the lives of even more of Mayday’s clone troopers.

1.4 - No Way Out A request for extraction is ignored, with Imperial orders reiterating that Mayday and his remaining squad members are to keep the base secure and protect the cargo at all costs.

1.5 - Rock And A Hard Place Mayday, Hexx and Veetch are the last survivors of the squad of 12 initially assigned to the Barton IV outpost. Supplies are dwindling and the relief ship is overdue.

2.1 - Last Chance The Imperial relief ship finally arrives, marking the end of the squad’s long posting on Barton IV. Mayday is surprised to see a CT-99 listed on the crew roster.

2.2 - Broken Mayday might have lost his squad, but a new mission – and a new companion – gives him focus. After all, Crosshair doesn’t know how to survive out here.

2.3 - Swept Away With Crosshair at his side, the two of them easily storm the raider’s mountain base. Mayday wonders about the legacy the clone troopers leave behind. Crosshair makes an unexpected admission.

2.4 - Grief Commander Mayday was grievously wounded during the avalanche. As the sniper insists on carrying him back to base, Mayday reflects on his regrets.

2.5 - Betrayal As Mayday’s life leeches out into the snow, Crosshair takes a stand.

3.0 (Epilogue) - Return To The Outpost When circumstances force a return to the doomed outpost on Barton IV, Crosshair has a chance to confront Mayday's memory and all he taught him about loyalty.

With thanks to the awesome @chaos-company for hosting the #Angstpril writing event! I've enjoyed turning the 10 prompts I chose from the month into a multi-chapter fic that has been breaking hearts. Maybe next year I'll upgrade to the full 30 prompts to be a completionist :)

[cherrypikkins]

Got my gold title screen :3 Here are the characters that helped me do it!!

This being my first Maddening Run (aside from two previously aborted Black Eagles runs), below the cut are are my thoughts and advice on how to beat it:

The requirements for a gold title screen are Maddening Mode with a new file. No NG+!. However, Casual is fine.

Equip everyone with Training Weapons immediately. This can prevent you from getting doubled by all but the speediest characters.

Training Weapons also last longer. Knowing this, spam Combat Arts to survive the first few battles.

Equip everyone with a bow early on. Curved Shot is your key to surviving the mock battle.

Equip everyone with a battalion as soon as you can. Gambits will save you in Conand Tower when you inevitably get hit by crowds.

Move and attack as a group during battles. Have majority of units nearby to help out when things get hairy. Note that tight formations will make use of links and supports, however you must be wary of enemy gambits.

Have all magic-users learn Heal. It's a Faith D spell you can pick up in no time at all. It gives easy exp and ensures that your mages can help your units survive the next turn.

Have danger zones visible at all times. Don't forget to check individual enemy danger zones.

Use the danger zone to plan your next move. The danger zone will show you where it is safe to retreat if your units are in danger. If you have a tank that can survive the danger zone, it can also be used to set up ambushes

Spend every weekend battling. You will need every bit of experience you can get. No seminars, no rest, no skip, explore only on the first week.

On a NG file, you will only have one activity point per weekend for battling. Work on getting your Professor Level up. Lots of fishing and lots of tournaments. I was able to get to Level A+ and 3 battle points per weekend by late game this way.

Use Tournaments to win money and free Silver Weapons+

Since you will be mainly using Training Weapons, buy Smithing Stones to upgrade them to Training Weapon+ and repair when needed.

Because you are spending less money on brand new weapons, you will actually have some extra money leftover - buy gifts to raise motivation and to recruit.

Unless you are doing Crimson Flower, prepare well for Hunting by Daybreak. Even on casual, you MUST have the majority of your original house members trained up.

Plant flowers for stat raising items and gifts. Everyone loves flowers!

Focus on a small group of units to train. By the end of the game, aim to have 12 units + 2-3 adjutants ready to take on the final map.

Overall, maddening on a new save file was super challenging but also a lot of fun for me that I can't wait to try it again with NG+. For NG only, it may seem impossible at times, but with luck and perseverance, you can do it! Hope that helps! Good luck!

The characters I used and their roles:

Barbarossa Claude: relied on him early on for Encloser to manage crowds, became a crit king late game.

Trickster Byleth/"Mousy": all-rounder who sadly doesn't excel in a whole lot late game, but was used for some key Foul Plays to help units flee to safety or reach their targets.

Sniper Petra: mid-to-long range crit, with the potential for Lethality, crit on Personal Ability and double crit on Hunter's Volley, which can trivialize certain monster fights.

Bow Knight Leonie: long-range crit, who can tank in an emergency if needed. Can break armor as an opener for other damage dealers.

Bishop Linhardt: dedicated healer who was a last minute recruit before the timeskip

Wyvern Lord Hilda: started out unremarkable early game but ended up becoming a nigh untouchable blink tank.

Great Knight Sylvain: defense tank. needed a lot of extra care and hand-holding mid game but eventually grew strong enough to be able to tank Nemesis of all things and lure him off the boss tile

Dark Knight Lorenz: used as an adjutant early-to-mid game, later brought on to the main group post time-skip to help fill the roster. Decent for tanking magical hits and cleaning up enemy survivors

War Master Felix: fragile frontliner early game, reliable boss-deleter mid-to-late game. since archers and mages can easily disrupt your plans in maddening, I relied on him to get rid of them quickly.

Dancer Marianne: was early game dedicated healer before that role got passed over to Linhardt. Aside from refreshing turns, she can do plenty of damage on her own. Her special Dance is useful for adding some extra punch and precision to Constance's Bolting.

Gremory Constance: had the absolute WORST luck with stats during each level up. However, she made it up with her frequent Crest procs - which means even more Bolting to go around.

Gremory Lysithea: as per usual a reliable Death Knight and boss killer. Aside from melting down mounted and armored knights, she can be relied on for extra heals.

[wildissylupus]

hi idk how much you analyze on hanzo but something thats been on my mind is the progression of his character through non-canonical events/interactions. I am aware there isn’t a lot of canon Hanzo content so take this thought with a grain of salt.

In Overwatch 1 hanzo’s personality was more stand-offish and maybe even rude. Now in Overwatch 2 he’s more approachable in a weird way? He’s still the same brooding guy but it’s almost like we see this “healed” version of his in overwatch 2. Not just from interactions but also from his character design aka the underbags being less prominent, him looking physically more healthy, the lack of bottle that has his sake (ofc this could just be them upgrading his look in the game).

While this is amazing and something I have always hoped to see from hanzo, part of me hopes that the developers/writers still remember hanzo from Overwatch 1. There hasn’t been a lot happening canonically with hanzo since the confrontation with Genji and if they were to skip from the last we saw of hanzo to the hanzo in overwatch 2 it feels like a lack of potential and even story telling?

Don’t get me wrong I love that hanzo is being given more personality and depth. It’s so refreshing that he gets to be something other than the ex-yakuza that murdered his brother lmao.

I guess I’m afraid that his development will feel rushed or like there’s gaps in it. I want to be able to see the rugged, tired bitter hanzo turn into the hanzo that literally contemplates the idea of settling down and adopting a dog, you know what I mean? I don’t just want it to be a thing that is skimmed over. I hope Overwatch touches on the more difficult situations in regards to mental health. And this isn’t just for hanzo, it’s for the whole roster.

I hope that each characters gets to grow and learn even if it’s unpleasant and “ugly” and that we actually get to SEE it in progression. Not just time skips and flashbacks or whatever.

Maybe it’s too early in canon mission events content to judge but it is something that has been in the back of my mind. I may be proven wrong later or be completely off but thoughts???

I do agree with this, though I don't think he should still be standoffish when he joins Overwatch, I do want there to be this awkward period where everyone adjusts to having him around. I also think that the reason for his character progression is going to be explored in his short story with Kiriko. It seems from the description that he's going to be getting some closure with his father, which would explain his change from OW1 to OW2.

However I think there is a different thing that could explain his change. Kiriko. I've explained this in passing but I think that both Genji and Hanzo are going to be given a second chance to be siblings, not to each other, but the people they have found on their own respective journeys.

Genji has stated that he sees Cassidy as a brother, which is interesting considering so far, other then Angela, since even OW1, he's shown the most concern about Cassidy's well being. Specifically his mental state. Unlike with Hanzo where is has been shown that Genji wasn't really knowledgeable of what Hanzo was going through with being the eldest son. Genji shows a lot more observation with Cassidy.

(Honestly I could write a whole essay about those two and how Genji is given a second chance to be there for who he views as an older brother BUT THIS POST AIN'T ABOUT HIM!)

I believe this is going to be the same with Kiriko and Hanzo but in reverse, while Genji gets the opportunity to look out for his older sibling, Hanzo actually gets to be an older sibling. He finally gets to relax and joke around, contemplate something other than Genji's death and how he can atone for that.

It would also be a nice parallel to Genji with instead of staying hang up on a previous relationship, he ends up creating a new one that is overall better for him.

It's also the matter of Kiriko and Hanzo's relationship is a lot more salvageable then Hanzo and Genji's. Listen, as much as I love those two, there is no way in hell they're going to get the normal sibling bond the fandom likes to give them. Even if that is the end goal for the writers, they would need to write a whole other novel for that kind of relationship between the two to not feel rushed.

Now I do want to point something out about his OW2 redesign because there's more then just the lack of Sake. It that fact that he's now covering his chest. This might not seem like a lot but in his first design he isn't protecting any part or any organ that is slightly to the right, in the middle, or the the left of his chest, meaning his left lung is exposed, his heart is exposed, his spine is exposed, basically a lot of stuff you would want shot at is exposed.

Combing this with and interaction with Genji from OW1, that is alluding to the fact that Hanzo "finds living challenging", then Hanzo covering his chest is a big step.

Anyway the fact that Hanzo is now on his way to being added to the list of characters who are practicing selfcare is so funny, cause out of all the characters to end up on that very short list at the beginning of Story Mode, I did not expect it to be Hanzo.

[averageartistamber]

So, my thoughts on Side Order

Okay, so Side Order’s been out for a few days, so I may as well give out my thoughts on it. Obviously, this post is going to contain spoilers below as I go into more detail about my opinions and observations.

I’ve completed four runs so far (almost got five but failed near the end).

Overall, Side Order’s pretty good. It’s a lot of fun, a little rough in some areas, but worth the wait.

 First, let’s talk about mechanics.

Splatoon’s gameplay works well with a rogue-lite gameplay loop, and it’ll easily keep you occupied for at least a couple of hours (Some folks have 100% completed it on release day, but for the average player I’d reckon maybe 15-20 hours?). The permanent upgrade system allows a degree of control over the difficulty (even if it can be a grind to unlock things).

The chip system is cool, especially later on when you’ve made some really goofy yet strong builds. The Pearl Drone is some of the most fun stuff we’ve seen in the series so far. Letting her be almost as overpowered in the gameplay as she is in the lore is just really funny.

One thing that I feel does bring it down though, is the lack of variety. After a few hours you do start to notice that there’s only about five different floor objectives, and there’s not that much in terms of enemy variety either (although later floors add a mechanic where Battering Lentos can carry other Jelletons around on their backs…Which is a thing. Definitely would have preferred a few new guys instead.)  

As for the Jelletons…they’re…eh. They don’t really have the charm of the Octarians or Salmonids, but the devs seem to have intentionally singled out some of the worst aspects of those enemy rosters to design these dudes. With such a small bestiary, about half of them are annoying “screw those guys” (the flying sprinkler assholes and the Stinger But Even Worse dudes come to mind)…Which I’m not sure if that’s bad game design or really good game design honestly. They do their job as obstacles and video game enemies, and the designs are solid.

At least it’s not reskinned Octarians again.

There only really being five different bosses, with three in “rotation” (and one you only fight once), which honestly feels like a huge wasted opportunity. Would have been cool to have maybe a handful more options. Maybe even have an exclusive boss for each palette on Floor 20 where Eight has to fight a screwed-up version of whoever the palette represents. In this case Parallel Canon would be exclusive to Agent 4, and Marina would have a slightly buffed version of her fight, maybe with a different barrier mechanic to differentiate her from Overlorder.

And as always, the soundtrack absolutely slaps.

Not sure if I’m personally going to bother with 100% completion, since apparently the reward is a few secret lore files that I’ll probably find and read from the wiki or something.

Story, Lore and Characters

The story is serviceable, it’s pretty much what you’d expect from Splatoon’s storytelling at this point. There’s interesting stuff there which either isn’t explored in detail or is relegated to background lore files you can unlock and read. That being said, the lore we got is cool. Like, we all guessed that the Spire of Order was some kind of VR thing Marina made, and finding out she made it in order to heal victims of KamaboCo and restore the sanitised is both in-character and a very nice tying of ends from Octo Expansion.

I will say that if you haven’t played or are otherwise aware of the plot of Octo Expansion, some things might not make the most sense (ie. you’ll probably scratching your head over who the hell Acht is and why they’re neon green.) so it’s best experienced after reading or watching a video on the previous DLC to have the full context.

Thank Cod they didn’t make Marina the villain or have her be locked away for most of the game waiting to be rescued. Although she did get put under mind control, which I kinda expected…Seems to be at least one the Story Writer’s favourite trope at this point. Or just an odd choice of running gag. This story feels more character-focused than events and plot-focused, so not much really “happens”, but we get some substantial character interactions that make up for it.

The limited cast of characters works very well in the story’s favour. Adds to the weird lonely and isolated vibe of the Memverse. Pearl and Marina are great as usual, and there’s a surprising amount of scenes and dialogue for Pearlina shippers to lose their minds over. Acht/Dedf1sh is an effective straight man to all this, providing a foil to the other characters. The vibe of “Can we please talk about literally anything else” after the aggressive Pearlina banter is entertaining. It’s just really cool that the background musician characters are starting to get more relevance.

Cipher doesn’t do very much, but might have one of the best character designs in the franchise so far. It’s alright (I think the character uses It/It’s pronouns).

On the other hand, I personally think Order/Smollusk might be the weakest of the Splatoon big bads. They don’t really have the charisma and backstory intrigue of Octavio, the presence and build-up of Mr.Grizz (who to be fair had two a whole game prior to his stint as a villain) or the menace/“creep factor” of Commander Tartar.

In fact, Order kinda feels like a toned-down or Bowdlerised Tartar, as in which Order’s goal is similar and similarly horrifying, but they haven’t been getting away with it for god knows how long and you don’t ever see the result of their plans, (No ghastly Bad Ending cutscene of everyone getting their minds destroyed by the Memverse or anything), unless you count the thing they turned Marina into. I guess the whole Virtual Reality setting makes them feel like less of a threat? Maybe it’s just me.

And I dunno if this is just localisation weirdness, but did they HAVE to make his weakened form converse in Uwu-speak?

Although this seemingly isn’t what happens, I do quite enjoy the idea of Order/Smollusk slowly getting rehabilitated and redeemed as the gang hangs out with him (and kicks his ass) several times. Unfortunately, dude seems to be really clinging hard to the “Evil Overlord” shtick, which ultimately turns the character into a one-note laugh when we could’ve had a fun little arc.

One more thing about characters….

WHERE IN THE FRESHLY FRIED AND FILLETED FLIPPER-FLOPPER IS AGENT FOUR!?

The fact that they have a sort-of presence (being the Splattershot is explicitly called Agent Four’s Palette and not, like, Squidbeak Splatoon Palette, as well as the Parallel Canon boss) really seemed to be hinting at Agent Four making a physical appearance. Maybe it’s cut content? Maybe they’ll find their way into the Memverse in an update (like with Callie in 2’s Hero Mode)?

Them being the only Agent not to appear in Splatoon 3 just kinda sucks. Like, even Nintendo themselves seem to in on the joke with them being the un-favourite (see the “supposed to be a [BIG SHOT]” line from Pearl). But I really hope that one day Agent Four gets to be something that’s a bit more than a joke, y’know?

…So this ended up being way longer than I thought it would be. Might come back and maybe discuss some of the new lore a bit more, but that’s my thoughts about Side Order. I ended up really enjoying it, and I’m pretty excited to see if this leads to more experimental stuff with Splatoon going forwards. I’d give it a 7/10.

[twilightbloom]

My roster of women has been updated: I have upgraded from Very Gay to Ultra Gay

Not sure who to level up next, Insight III is SUCH a grind not even sure it's worth it for any of these folks. An-An could probably use an upgrade but she's been doing great so far even without it. Idk. Aaaa