#upsetting people more because she is brown and a masculine woman

[lansangprincess]

As someone who's Asian and also told you to watch Heartbreak High, I just wanted to vent about the racism in this fandom. It angers me how white characters like Spider and Harper are held to less high standard than characters like Sasha who's East Asian and Dusty who's half South Asian even from season 1. While I don't like those characters and didn't defend them in season 1 the way the racist fandom is reacting now makes me defend them from being held to a higher standard. People use "As a woman Harper doesn't feel she has more to offer than her body" and her past as a reason to justify her actions towards Malakai. The woman card and whatever her past is no excuse and she's as guilty as Dusty. Also Dusty only touched Malakai's shoulder and looked to Harper for what she had in mind, so I don't get how the fandom is saying he initated it to justify them liking Harper. Harper initiated the threesome by kissing Malakai first, not that it matters who initated. People don't use the race card for Dusty and whatever his past may be in regards to that. They loved Spider and campaigned for him getting development and showing his past in season 2 which he got out of popularity even though he too was a complete asshole in season 1. Spider sexually harassed Quinni by spreading rumors about her vagina even though he never slept with her and they shipped him with Amerie even though he was a bully who had a creepy obsession with her sex life. Spider blamed Malakai for the police case and it seems he may have a fetish for WOC. Spider didn't treat Amerie any better than Dusty did, so if it were a MOC in his place they wouldn't ship him with Amerie. Harper did regret the threesome but it wasn't for Malakai's sake but her own and she never apologized to Malakai. She regretted it because of how it affected her friendships, because she didn't like Dusty anymore and found the experience not enjoyable enough. People criticize Dusty for saying she took pleasure in the threesome and while he should be criticized for the part where he showed how insecure he was over Malakai he shouldn't be criticized for holding her accountable for the fact that she did take some pleasure in the threesome like he did. Also Harper was no more high than he was. I don't think she was criticized for the threesome in season 2 since she became friends with Amerie and Malakai after she called it slut shaming in season 1 when Missy criticized her while Dusty was rightfully criticized by Cash in season 2. It bothers me how she became friends with Amerie again after how badly she bullied her which was unjustifiable. If Amerie was in her place fans would hate her. They already criticize her. Devi from NHIE was hated on for less and it upsets me as a brown woman that they had her end up with Ben who never apologized to her for bullying and being racist to her, but the fandom loves him. He got mad at her over Aneesa because she didn't accept her apology for being cringe but never apologized to her for treating her like shit and didn't get mad at his white ex who actually started the rumor. She had trauma from him and cried over experiencing mean treatment in school. Made racist comments masculinizing her appearance and when he asked her to be his girlfriend talked about how big his ex's tits were. Tried to kiss her multiple times at his party but didn't help her out of his pool. I don't ship Daxton but Paxton had better arc than him but isn't liked as much as he isn't fully white. When Fabiola tried to hold Ben accountable for bullying he was like yeah but she broke my heart. I don't judge people for shipping them but I do judge them when they have the audacity to judge my morals as a brown woman over which fictional ships/characters I like.

Hi babe!

First of all, I saw this was a two-parter so I wanna let you know that I don't know when I'll be able to get back to you on the second part since it's also pretty long. Thanks so much for putting me onto HBH!! I've lowkey midkey started to love it a lot more than TSITP, which by the way, sorry if you have messages in my inbox about TSITP that I haven't responded to—the shipwars was hella draining and it took away the fun of being a fangirl for me.

Anyways, I'm still trying to digest all the points you've made and I'm just going to go with an assumption that you want to vent more than anything so I don't think I'm going to react on every point. Glad you feel safe to share in my inbox! (Even for tsitp).

I'm Asian also but regardless, I definitely agree that the support people gave Spider (esp in S1) to have redemption was disproportionate and weird >< Like, just because there was a plot twist that the reason for his behavior was he had a crush on Amerie—that didn't justify his behavior at all in my eyes ?? He was hella bigoted throughout the entire season and being rejected by the person you liked is not a reasonable excuse for that. Sasha was completely in the wrong for how she treated Quinni and she does require a redemption from that imo but her personality majority of the time is just being annoying and performative which doesn't beget hatred comparable to Spider's. Though for me, Season 2 Sasha didn't do anything bad, she was just entertainingly insufferable lol. Spider's redemption was well-written, I'm onboard for it but he still has a lot of work to do (and tbh I could've lived with Spider just continuing being a villain but that's not what we got and I'm just going with the flow of what our beautiful writers have given us). Sasha doesn't need a redemption for me bc she didn't do anything in S2. My forgiveness of her is dependent on Quinni's forgiveness of her and Quinni seems to have been able to move on, we'll see more of it when they work together in S3.

Though I also want to mention that I disagree with what you said about Harper… From what I've seen, a lot of people hate her. A lot of people don't forgive her for the threesome which I can understand but from my perception all of her decision-making was completely impaired and misguided because of her trauma, and I think that should be taken into consideration—she had no one to help her in the aftermath of what she went through and so had no idea how to handle it. What she went with for her own experience was to just kind of, pretend it never happened and go back to "being normal". If you watch the threesome scene back, Dusty took Harper's hand and placed it on Malakai's shoulder. He 100% had intentions of making things more intimate with the three of them. I can't really say the same for Harper. I can imagine that in the moment when Dusty put her hand on Malakai she genuinely thought she was helping Malakai cope.

[amaziana]

My take on Rop

I do not like Rings of power. It has twisted something beautiful and unique into something generic and void of soul. I grew up on Tolkiens works. I was so obsessed with Lotr that my mum let me read it only once every summer. So yeah, Tolkiens works have had and continue to have great influence on my life and how I view the World. The moment when the ring tempts Sam and he resists it is one of my absolute favorite because he is happy with simple, ordinary life. So when amazon decided to do a money grab using Tolkines work, I was angry.

It is no secret that the show has completely disregarded the cannon. Sure some things might come from the fact that they didn’t have enough rights, but it’s clear that they have just mostly done what ever they wanted. Now I’m not actually as angry about the chances to the lore as I’m about the lies the showrunners have spewed. “Going back to the book, always back to the books”and so on. Anyone with basic reading comprehension can see that this is not the case. If they had actually just admitted that they took creative liberties and changed things in order to appeal to wider audience I would be upset about it (and the fact that the work of Tolkien was used to bring more money to bezos’ already grossly overflowing piggybank), but I wouldn’t be angry. I could just say: “that’s not how it is in the books” and moved on. Now I want to scream and cry when they show Galadriel setting sail for Valinor. 

Speaking of Galadriel, they have completely destroyed her character and turned her into cardboard cutout of a strong female character that is two dimensional at best. In cannon she is already a wife and a mother by the time show takes place, but neither her husband or daughter exist in the show. She is also the wisest living being and older than both the sun and the moon. They have made her young, brash, reckless warrior that cartwheels with her sword around the battlefield. I argue that this change is anything but feminist. They strip her of her feminine qualities and wisdom (jumping off of a boat right before the shores of Valinor? are you TRYING to die?) and made her strong in a traditionally masculine way, all while keeping her conveniently attractive, short and petite. (For the record, I’m not saying feminine strength is better than masculine strength, I’m saying it’s sexist that her feminine strength wasn’t deemed to be good enough.) They also removed two of her loved ones from the story most likely to make her appear stronger and more independent. If they truly wanted to be feminist, they would have followed the cannon. She would have still been a great athlete and most likely known how to use a sword, but she would have been tall (in cannon she is 6′4) and muscular, others would have come to her for advice and she would be highly respected. She would have been in a loving and equal relationship with her husband and been a great mother to her daughter (who would have been adult already). I’m saying all of this as a young woman who loves swords and sports and someone who doesn’t wish to be a wife or a mother.

My other problems with the show are out of place looking costumes, short haired elven men, beardless dwarf women, cliche plotlines, mandatory lovestory between an elf and a mortal, corny lines and over all vibe. 

Now I’m not saying people aren’t allowed to watch the show and enjoy it. I’m not bashing the showrunners (we don’t know how much amazon is dictating over things) or other people involved. There are some good things in it too. I 100% think that Poc belong in Tolkiens world, but I wish they had gone differently about it and not just sprinkled them in there in order to have them there. I wish they had given us east-asian dwarf clans, brown harfoots, elves with various skin colors and travelers from south with beautiful gold jewelry and stories of olifants. (hobbits had to get those stories from somewhere!) I recently just learned that the show is dubbed in catalan and other lesser used languages which is great! It will also most likely inspire more people to read Tolkiens work, which is always good!

However, no matter how much good things the show has, the bottomline is and always will be is that amazon took Tolkiens work, twisted it and stripped it of it’s core themes in order to profit, lied and keep lying to fans about respecting the source material, dismiss all valid criticism as racism and misogyny. All while continuing to profit from the labor of it’s underpaid workes, destroying nature, endangering the health and even life of it’s employees (Lot of stunt workers got hurt on the Rop set due to unsafe working conditions and amazon failed to report these incidents to New Zealand government) and pouring more and more money to someone who keeps profiting from all of this.

 I’m devastated that something so dear to me is being treated like this ans I wish I could turn my eyes away and ignore the show, but it get showed down my throat left and right with all the ads everywhere.

[leviathanverse]

This isn't a matter of "differing beliefs" that we can all "ignore and get along" when her belief is that she wants us dead. She supports people who want us dead. She likes and agrees with tweets literally saying that we deserve to be dead.

By the way, the idea of there being only two genders, at least in the modern sense, is a white myth rooted in colonialism. At least two of the people who reblogged calcium cat's post to express their upsetness were native people, one of them (zenpai-art) explained with detail that the tradition of not comforming to someone's birth gender has been a part of native culture in hundreds of separate tribes across the world going back thousands of years. Other cultures do this and have done this for thousands of years too. Who are you to tell random groups of black and brown people they cannot celebrate their culture because white Christians think they're secretly wrong?

One of them (sunnemona) said they were intersex. What gender are they, then, since you can only pick one of two?

Definitely not transgender. But it is a rare phenomenon that happens to almost only 10% of the population. And yes, intersex is a phenomenon that isn't transgender. It is something that scientists are still trying to figure out.

Just because she follows and likes those people and stuff doesn't mean she wants you dead. I, too, am Christian and believe what the bible says. I believe what God says about there only being man and woman. The rest is just something humans had come up with.

Second of all, do you know how many of you tried to turn me into someone I DON'T want to be by force? I might sound transphobic, but you have to respect others for their choice, opinions and beliefs.

Why can't you all accept that there are people that disagree with you? Arguing with me for having a similar belief to Cal won't get you anywhere.

This whole being offended by someone's different belief and choice is just utterly ridiculous, not to mention that it looks absolutely childish.

If you have nothing better to say then leave that person alone, or even block them! I don't support LGBTQ+. I have friends that are part of that community. And what were their reaction? They didn't give a fuck. Even my transgender friend didn't give a fuck.

It isn't what is based on their likes and follows but how they interact with you as an individual. I respect people, but I don't respect people who are trying to achieve something from me.

My final answer to intersex is that it is a rare phenomenon that happens. And it isn't something that you can call transgender, just because you have both male and female organs.

So, no, it isn't trans. It is just a phenomenon scientist are trying to better understand. If they want to stay as intersex, then good for them. But that doesn't mean that they are part of the LGBTQ. If they choose to be part of it, then good for them! I respect that.

But trying to ask me what gender an intersex person is, is actually very good you asked me that!

Some people have a different variety of being intersex. Some have XXY, some have the reproductive organs outside and some have the two reproductive hormones on the inside. If you did your research, then you would see that it has become a medical problem and not a natural. Intersex babies are assigned a gender at birth by parents. There are always those that have a more feminine or masculine look. Allowing them to choose which gender they want to be- say that they are around 18 or younger- puts pressure on them. If they want to be female, then they can be female. If they want to be male? No problem. Why? Because it is a natural phenomenon and not something that some people are influenced to do surgically. If they want to remove the extra male or female reproductive organs, then they can by surgery. Some people have decided to identify as intersex.

Transgender is something ENTIRELY different. It is done surgically and not because it is a natural phenomenon like intersex. A girl wants to become a boy? Surgery. Same goes to males. Transgender is a label that mankind has made- the other genders too. And the " I identify as..." part.

I personally don't have a problem with adults wanting to become trans. I just have a problem when it is CHILDREN at a younger age! For me, personally, twenty is the appropriate age to decide to be trans. Why? Simple: the brain is then fully developed. Not to be considered "transphobic" but that is my personal opinion. These days, everything is considered transphobic. I don't mind if you are trans at a young age- teens- but I just don't think that, that is the appropriate age to decide to be trans.

The point is, I listen to both sides and I have already chosen my side. Backlashing at someone is not right. Calling them a bigot is ABSOLUTELY not right. I have the right to have a choice of who I want to listen to, and who I don't want to listen to.

The world is changing and I don't believe it is for good reason. You have to accept that I view things differently than you, and that I am a person who is different. And mind you I listen to biological things. Like there being biologically being only two genders.

I am DONE being suffocated by people making me question myself! And I am MOST CERTAINLY done staying silent! I don't want to keep quiet and let people think I am a person with no purpose and assume I support LGBTQ! I want to be my own person, want to make my own decisions and live carefree. It is difficult when people are trying to force you to become someone who you aren't comfortable with or don't want to become!

I am just a human being who respects people. But those who dont accept reality of people being who thwy are? You lose my respect. People backlashing at creators for being who thwy are and respecting you? You can guess the answer.

People change for the better or worse. You have to accept it and not lash out on people disagreeing with you, or who believe different things. I am disappointed in Gen Z, my very own generation. I mean- where is the moral: " We will be a better genera tion!" and " We won't judge others for their choice and who they are!" Where are those morals? This generation is making me realize how judging people are and how people seek out ways to backlash at people for being different or disagreeing with you.

If you leave me alone, then I'll leave you alone. As simple as that.

If this was transphobic, then leave me the heck alone. This an opinion, and an explanation for intersex and why it isn't viewed as trans. Sorry, let me rephrase. This is MY opinion and how I view everything. This is MY explanation for intersex with facts.

[samwisethewitch]

An Open Letter to Christian Witches

On this blog, I often champion the idea that witchcraft is a practice, not a religion, and that a witch can practice any religion, provided that religion does not explicitly forbid witchcraft. I still very much believe this, and the point of this post is not to tell Christians that they can’t be witches. However, as a non-Christian witch who has been deeply traumatized by Christianity, I do wish Christian witches would be a bit more mindful of how they show up in witchy spaces.

Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern of self-identifying Christian witches dominating the conversation and centering their own beliefs in spaces dedicated to witchcraft. Now, I wholeheartedly believe that this is unintentional, and most of these Christian witches seem like lovely people. But it’s still deeply frustrating and upsetting to be promised a safe space and support from other witches, only to be preached at.

Or be told that I’m doing witchcraft wrong because my ethics are not the same as someone else’s.

Or be told that I don’t understand Christianity, despite having spent the first two decades of my life fully immersed in it.

Or have my trauma invalidated because, “Not all Christians are like that!”

Or spend the majority of our time together reassuring and comforting a Christian witch who is uncomfortable with the inclusion of pagan and/or occult elements in a ritual.

These are all genuine experiences I have had with Christian witches in 2021. And in every single one of these situations, the Christian witch had a very negative reaction to any kind of constructive criticism or request that they be more mindful of the diverse beliefs and experiences in the space. Any suggestion that their actions may be causing discomfort for others was met with defensiveness, if not straight-up denial. The result is a situation where Christian witches are at the center of every discussion and demand (knowingly or not) coddling or hand-holding from teachers and facilitators, while those of us who are not Christian are left deeply uncomfortable but unable to express that discomfort without upsetting someone or being accused of creating conflict.

And I get it. I really do. Because for most of the people in the above scenarios, this was the first time they encountered a situation where their religion wasn’t the norm. But what I need Christian witches to recognize and be mindful of is that this discomfort of being surrounded by people who do not share your beliefs is something those of us who are not Christian experience every day.

In the Western world, and particularly in the United States, Christianity is a religious hegemony. (A hegemony is a group with total political, social, economic, and/or military dominance in a given area.) Everything in Western society was designed for Christians, to serve a Christian worldview, and to reinforce Christian hegemony. Everything from our government to our business practices to our media reinforces Christian values. For Christians, this creates the sense of comfort and security that comes from being part of the in-group. For non-Christians, it meas being constantly bombarded with someone else’s religion. For former Christians with church-related trauma, it means reliving that trauma constantly.

Here’s a look at an average day in my life as a formerly-Christian pagan with religious trauma. Please note that this is not an exaggeration — this is a description of what I experienced on the day I wrote this post.

I get up and, because I live with Christian family members, I walk past exactly five images of Jesus and/or the Virgin Mary on my way from my bedroom to the front door. On my commute to work, I drive past at least a dozen churches, including the one I used to attend, where my religious trauma occurred. I stop at a red light, and the car in front of me has a bumper sticker with an image of a cross and the message, “If this offends you now, just wait until you see it on judgement day!” I happen to know that these bumper stickers are for sale not at a local church, but at a privately owned, nominally secular business. When I get to work, the woman who greets me at the front gate is wearing a crucifix necklace.

I work in diversity education. When I get to the office, my boss asks me to join the local Interfaith council because I am the only person in our department who isn’t Christian. My current big project at work is trying to get a transgender speaker to visit our organization and help us lead a workshop to work towards amending a history of transphobia in our organization. My boss tells me today the she isn’t sure the speaker I arranged will be approved, because our administration might not think it is in line with our organization’s values. When she says this, I know she means evangelical Christian values. She doesn’t have to spell it out — there’s a chaplain down the hall from our office.

After my lunch break, my coworkers are talking about a church event one of them attended over the weekend. I do not contribute to this conversation. It has been several months since I attended an in-person religious event with people who shared my faith. As I’m leaving the office at the end of the day, I pass a Bible study group that has set up in our recreation area. On my drive home, I pass the funeral home where my grandfather’s memorial service was held earlier this year. The programs for that service had the Lord’s Prayer printed on them. My grandfather was an atheist.

This is my level of exposure to a religion I not only don’t believe in, but have been actively hurt by, on a daily basis. This is my normal. I’ve learned to live with it, tune it out, and self-soothe, because there is no other option.

When I’m finally able to be around other witches, many of them are coming from similar experiences. I am finally in a space where I can be vulnerable, where I can talk about what I really believe, and where I can receive support from like-minded people. But if there is even one Christian witch in the group, it’s highly likely that this space too will be dominated by Christian hegemony.

It’s a noted fact that a person exists within a hegemony, they have very little ability to tolerate challenges to this hegemony due to a lack of exposure. This is the origin of the term white fragility, which sociologist Robin DiAngelo uses to describe the discomfort and defensiveness white people feel when confronted with “racial discomfort” such as being asked to consider racism as a system they are complicit in and benefit from rather than as the actions of lone extremists. White fragility is something I have personally experienced as a white woman involved in antiracist work, and it’s something I have taken years to work through and am still actively working on. Since DiAngelo popularized this term, similar terms have been used to point to similar phenomena in other hegemonic groups, as in the cases of male fragility/fragile masculinity, cishet fragility, and yes, Christian fragility.

I’m not trying to argue that all hegemony is the same, and I am definitely not trying to say that my personal religious trauma is anywhere near the level of pain caused by the mistreatment of Black and brown people by white supremacist society. My point here is simply that being part of the dominant group breeds a very low tolerance for exposure to other groups.

Christian witches are members of a hegemonic group entering a space historically occupied by marginalized people, which creates an imbalance of power. (And yes, you can benefit from hegemony even if you are marginalized in other areas. Identity is multi-faceted. Queer Christians, disabled Christians, Christians of color, and yes, Christian witches still benefit from Christian hegemony.) The only way things are going to get better is if Christians are willing to do the work themselves of building tolerance for religious discomfort. The rest of us can host as many interfaith and secular events as we want, but if Christians aren’t able to tolerate the inclusion of other belief systems, we’ll never truly be on equal footing. Until Christians stop centering the Christian experience, it will continue to dominate interfaith spaces, including witchy spaces.

TLDR: I’m asking Christian witches to be mindful of the privilege they bring into interfaith spaces. I’m asking you to be willing to feel uncomfortable, and to recognize that your discomfort does not invalidate the work your facilitators have put into creating the space and/or program. If you truly can’t stand the discomfort, I’m asking you to politely excuse yourself instead of demanding emotional labor from other witches.

[randomdancingwhore]

Princess Protection Program - Helmut Zemo x Wakandan! Reader

Chapter 1: The (Not Quite) Meet Cute

Chapter Summary: Y/N and T'Challa mourn, and she meets a certain German psychiatrist.

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of death of a family member, Drugging.

Notes: Female Reader, No beta read.

Word Count: 1520

The young prince, T'Challa, paced back and forth in the office. It had been a stressful day. He had fought the renowned Captain America.

Through the glass walls of the room, he saw a figure approaching. It was Y/N, his cousin who had he had been raised with like a sister. The approaching girl looked as innocent and demure as always. The structured business attire she donned looked out of place on her as she was more suited to the dainty dresses she usually wore.

The door opened, and the young woman rushed into her cousin's awaiting arms. The sound of her sobs filling the office. The girl pulled back,

"What happened, cousin? Is it true?" She asked, eyes glittering with tears.

"Yes, that man killed our king. He murdered my father, our father in cold blood," T'Challa stated.

Y/N fell back into the Prince's arms, once again sobbing. Y/N was not the king's daughter. She wasn't even from his side of the family. She was the daughter of Queen Ramonda's younger brother, and after he and Y/N's mother's mysterious death the Queen and her husband took the girl in. They raised her like their own child, and in return, she felt as though they were her parents.

"I tried to bring him the justice that he deserved, but Steve Rogers protected that murderer, the Winter Soldier," The Prince spat.

"But Captain America saves people. He’s good." The girl marvelled at the information given to her.

"I thought so too, cousin."

»»——⍟——««

The pair sat at the desk. T'Challa had calmed down enough to have the tea that was brought in. Cup in hand, he wondered what the girl was doing so far from safety. Y/N had been in the UN building during the bombing. She had been scooped away by the Dora as soon as she was found in the rubble. 

Y/N had accompanied her uncle and cousin to Vienna for her first official trip as a diplomat after her university graduation. She didn't want to attend the UN meeting, but never could say no to anyone.

"I'm grateful for your company, Y/N, but I must know why you've come here? You should be somewhere more secure," T'Challa inquired.

Y/N gently put down her teacup and patted the corner of her lips with a cloth serviette, "This tea is wonderful. Uncle would have enjoyed it," The girl mused, trying to change the subject.

"You haven’t answered my question, Y/N. What are you doing here?"

Taking a deep breath, she said "I've been asked to do a job," 

When T'Challa stayed silent, she continued, "Rather... I asked to do a job... I asked to sit in on the Winter Soldiers psychological assessment."

T'Challa stood suddenly, making Y/N gasp as the table shook.

"You will do no such thing!"

"T'Challa, please. I'll be fine. It is my job, after all," Y/N pleaded. She hated to see people upset, and it made her feel even worse when she was the cause of it.

"That man is dangerous!"

"I'm aware, but I have to see him, I have to see the man that took our father from us" Her voice cracked, making the T’challa soften.

The Prince settled back into his chair, and Y/N took his hands. "Please let me do this. I'm begging you".

»»——⍟——««

The session was due to begin soon. Y/N stood alone outside the door, waiting for the psychiatrist to arrive.

Composing herself was more challenging than she thought it would be, but King T'chaka's murderer was so close, so who could fault her for being terrified of the man that had shaken her family like this?

Y/N felt fresh tears gathering.

"Is everything okay, Frauline?" A masculine voice said from behind her.

Y/N jumped with a squeak as she spun around to find a handsome young man before her. He had short brown hair, a five o'clock shadow and a pair of glasses on.

"I'm fine, thank you, sir. I'm just waiting for the doctor," she assured him.

"Oh," he says, extending a hand, "My apologies. Dr. Theo Broussard"

Y/N takes his hand and gives it a weak shake. She smiles timidly. This wasn't who she expected.

"Y/N M/N L/N, ward of the Wakandan royal family, but I prefer just Y/N. I'm here to observe the assessment process?" 

She sees the doctor's jaw clench at her last statement but pushes it aside.

"It's nice to meet you, Y/N. Ward of the royal family, you say? Do you share any relation to the late King of Wakanda" he ponders.

"He is- was my uncle" She shifts uncomfortably, and the man sends her a sad look.

"I’m truly regretful of his loss. He seemed like a good man."

"Thank you, he was," Y/N said, thinking fondly of her uncle.

"I feel inclined to ask about the ethics of your observation. You are, as they say, 'too close to the case'"

"I assure you, I won't try to sway your judgement on the Soldier's evaluation. You won't even know I'm there," Y/N says

Dr. Broussard hums and looks into her eyes, reading her.

"Are you frightened to go in there?" He asks

"I won't lie, I am. I've always been very good at making other people feel better, be more at peace, you know. That's why I felt it was so right for me to pursue a career in psychology. But here I am, with my degree, and I can help everyone feel better but myself" She laughed a bit, and the doctor smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"It will take work, but you'll find a way. And remember, James Barnes is restrained. He can't get to you."

He fishes something out of his pocket and offers it to her. It's a Turkish delight. "Something to calm your nerves."

Y/N smiles and takes it. He watches her unwrap it and pop it in her mouth.

»»——⍟——««

Y/N didn't feel right. She was beginning to feel a bit weak and foggy.

Chalking it up to the fact that she was sat in a dim room with a killer, she ignores it.

As the doctor had said, the Winter Soldier was restrained, but it did little to help her feel safe. She did feel angry, an emotion she hardly ever felt but as soon as she had set foot into the room and saw the Winter Soldier, anger and fear consumed her.

Y/N was seated in a chair beside Dr. Broussard. Sending an icy glare, she didn't know she was capable of towards the man behind the glass.

"Tell me, Bucky, you've seen a great deal, haven't you?" The doctor asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," The Soldier said with a downtrodden tone, and a pang of pity hit Y/N's chest. She tried to push it down quickly, but it lingered.

Y/N began to feel light-headed. Touching the back of her hand to her forehead to make sure she wasn't feverish.

"Ms. L/N, is everything all right?" He asked, noticing her movement.

"It's nothing, Doctor."

He clears his throat and continues talking to Bucky. "You feel that if you open your mouth, the horrors will never stop."

As the doctor said this, the pity Y/N felt began to grow. She knew what HYDRA had done to him, and looking into his eyes, she could see that he was haunted. 'But HYDRA didn't make him kill my uncle' Y/N tried to convince herself, wanting so badly to remain angry, to show loyalty to her family, but the pity still grew.

The fogginess in her mind also grew. Stars began to gather in her vision, and she felt her eyes clouding over.

"Don't worry," The doctor says to the Winter Soldier.

Y/N stands, ready to excuse herself.

"We only have to talk about one," the doctor finishes.

The woman collapses to the ground as darkness and blinking, red lights overtake the room.

The powers out.

Going in and out of consciousness. Y/N hears banging and words spoken in Russian as she desperately tries to stay awake, translating what she can.

"Seventeen"

Bang!

"Benign"

Bang!

"Nine"

Bang!

"Homecoming"

Bang!

"One"

Bang!

"Freight car"

Crash!

Silence fills the room.

"Soldier?" she hears the doctor ask in Russian

"Ready to comply," The Winter Soldier replies.

Y/N's mind goes blank.

»»——⍟——««

Looking down at the girl passed out on the floor, Zemo couldn't help but feel a little bad. 

The reason she had gotten in his way was because she was looking for closure over something he had done.

He knelt beside her and took off his jacket. Folding it into a makeshift pillow, he raised Y/N's head and places it beneath her. It was the least he could do.

He ran his thumb over her cheek. Even in a coerced slumber, the pretty young woman looked so peaceful and vulnerable—a sleeping beauty. 'How ironic,' he thought.

Far off he heard the footsteps of Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson as they approached.

He didn’t linger anymore. There was still work to be done...

Thanks for reading! Feedback is appreciated✨

[anotherkindofmindpod]

“Feminizing” Paul

There is a difference between A) calling a man pretty or admiring his graceful body language or his feminine features (although I don’t personally think eyelashes and lips need to constantly be gender-labeled as “masculine” or “feminine” - they can just be “long” or “lush” etc) and B) mocking a man for having what you perceive to be “feminine” traits (even if you think your jokes are not mean-spirited because Hey! feminine guys are awesome!) and especially C) making insinuations about a person’s sexuality based on external mannerisms or physical features.  The last example is homophobic behavior.  Even if you love gay people or fetishize them or personally identify as LGBTQ, it doesn’t matter! It’s still exactly the same thing homophobes do. Paul McCartney is not a sassy queen. If he was, and he self-identified that way, it would be totally cool to call him that and celebrate his fabulousness!  But as far as we know, Paul identifies as a straight man. Maybe not a super “macho” one- he wore ladies’ clothing in the 70s and sometimes he likes to playfully prance and twirl and stuff like that, which I agree is endearing and cute! But it’s questionable, at the very least, to make joke after joke about how OMG!feminine! the guy is. Of course you can admire his physicality (option A)- that’s what fans do with celebrities.  But please do so without taking a different sexuality and applying it to this person in a mocking way (as if everyone is in on the joke except Paul, who doesn’t realize what a flamboyant queen he is, LOL). I think it’s fine to speculate on an artist’s sexuality, too, so long as it’s based on their own words or even their art. But not when it’s second-guessing someone’s own identity based on your own judgments about their posture or bone structure (or worse yet, their interest in theater or having gay friends- like do you realize how homophobic that is?). Can you imagine a group of men coming on Tumblr and making post after post about a straight female celebrity, talking constantly about how butch she is and how hard she would fuck basically every woman she’s ever been photographed with? Lord knows there’s nothing bad about being butch or W/W but it would be a WEIRD thing to keep harping on about a straight woman!  Wishful thinking and fangirling/fanboying is fine.  “I wish she would top me” is different than calling a straight woman “such a power dyke.” The first is just a fun wish, the second is… weird and inaccurate and it just strikes me as maybe only half-way thought-through. I don’t think I have all the answers or claim that we’re perfect either. In our episode on Yoko we made a joke about her “big dick” - which we meant as a compliment, but that could be seen as problematic too. And maybe it was? The whole concept of a dick as being where power is stored is pretty lame, even if we all enjoyed making “big dick energy” memes and jokes for a year or so.  And yeah, Paul’s so-called “femininity” (which I put in skeptical quotation marks because again, we’re talking about gender-labeling both physical traits AND personality traits that DO NOT INHERENTLY BELONG TO ANY SEX) has been historically used to undermine everything from his intelligence to his artistic depth to his credibility (”diva” anyone?).  It’s not mine or anyone’s job to police and gatekeeper and tell people how they’re supposed to talk, I just urge us all to be a bit more thoughtful with how we use words and how we appropriate gay culture so voraciously. Also, please stop this tiresome straw-man argument of “there’s nothing wrong with being femme!” Of course there isn’t.  There’s nothing wrong with being anything! But everyone on this site knows better than to purposely mis-label a person’s gender or sexuality. Everyone also knows better than to characterize a person’s sexuality or gender identity in a way that would upset that person or make them uncomfortable. If someone prefers “Black” to “African American,” call them Black. If they prefer “Brown” to “Black,” call them Brown, etc. It’s not your place to make a judgment call about these terms, it’s for people to choose for themselves and it’s our place to respect them. I know I’ll probably get pushback that “this is just fandom” and “it’s not that serious.” And to an extent I agree because none of the Beatles would appreciate being called assholes or hearing our shitty opinions about their songs either and we all feel free to criticize them for all kinds of stuff that is essentially none of our business. I just think we need to pump the brakes from time to time when it comes to throwing labels on people.  

And yes, perhaps I’m sensitive about this topic because I grew up in a much, much more homophobic era than our current one and I’ve definitely got scars from it. But I also believe that it’s OK to encourage everyone to think about this stuff and talk openly about it without attacking each other or getting overly defensive. -Phoebe

[zephyrkiss]

( federico cesari, he/him, cis male )  careful, emilio gatti has arrived to the city of dreams!! they look twenty three years old and word on the street is they are from pensacola, florida and currently reside in inwood. they are currently living life in the city as a budtender at newleaf & psychology student. some people say they are flighty, but i think they are determined. welcome to the city of dreams, emilio! we hope you enjoy your stay!  

tws for homophobia, abuse, self harm, mental illness, injuries, inappropriate underage relationships and possibly more, proceed with caution!

basic stats ;

full name: emilio alessandro gatti nicknames: just goes by emilio, his sister will jokingly call him emi gender: cis male height: 5 ′ 9 age: 23 birthday / zodiac: november 5, 1998, scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, leo rising right handed or left handed: ambidextrous eye color: brown hair color: auburn  piercings and tattoos: left ear pierced, a small broken heart tattoo on his ankle ( matching tattoo with his sister ) sexuality / romantic orientation: homosexual / homoromantic place of birth: rome, italy hometown: pensacola, florida languages spoken: italian ( native tongue ), conversational spanish and english three things he likes: any tiramisu dessert, meeting a fellow italian, elton john three things he dislikes:  people making fun of his hair color/freckles ( basically any and all redhead jokes ), waking up early, anyone making him feel small five aesthetics: barely noticeable freckles until you come close enough, bunny teeth, accidentally sleeping through your alarm, cake batter milkshakes, a worn out jean jacket he can’t seem to throw away last four songs listened to: haunted by taylor swift, bennie and the jets by elton john, from afar by vance joy, destri by gazzelle 

background story ;

emilio was born after his sister, elena ( who is four years older than him ) in rome ( just call him a true roman boy at heart )

his father , who he was ( unfortunately ) named after, was what you would call a ‘functioning alcoholic’. functioning in the sense that he could drink a shit load and still show up to work as if nothing happened. besides that, his father wasn’t the nicest guy out there

in fact, he had impeccable standards for both his kids. he wanted his daughter to always look her best, as he stated that a girl is only as good as she looks, basically claiming that’s all elena had going for her  –  the fact that she was a pretty redhead, discarding her intelligence and personal feelings about his thoughts

for emilio, it was all about being the man of the house. he wanted him to play soccer ( or calcio in italian ), he wanted him to be completely detached from his feelings as he always stated that ‘men don’t cry’, he wanted him to be the biggest womanizer out there, basically? toxic masculinity at it’s finest. gross, close minded thoughts and principals that he forced his kids to follow

his mother, yolanda, was the sweetest person ever. so sweet, she kind of let her husband walk all over her out of fear of upsetting him. she didn’t agree with any of his ideas, but she was too meek, too soft spoken, to actually speak up about it. at the time, no one knew it was actually because she was really depressed

emilio wanted to please his father. he doesn’t know why considering he’s a drunk asshole, but he just really wanted his approval. he wanted him to be proud of him, so, he tried doing all the things he knew would make him happy. he joined the soccer team when he was six, he tried his hardest to hang out with the guys and get into as many sports as possible, he would discreetly point to girls when he was out with his father and claim ‘she’s really pretty’, even though honestly? all of these things made emilio very unhappy

he hated sports of any kind, he didn’t know why , but he felt no attraction to girls ( at the time of course, he didn’t know it was because he’s gay gay GAY ), he thought boys his age were immature and he had no interest to play with toys that were aimed for boys. the only time emilio felt like he could be himself was around his older sister

when no one was around, they would play with her dolls, she would jokingly put lipstick on him, and they would even model around the house wearing his mother’s jewelry. these were times where emilio genuinely felt happy and free, but as soon as his father would come home, it was back to doing things he didn’t like, but pretended to

and with his father’s ideas, he felt backwards. he didn’t understand why he couldn’t just be ‘normal’ ( his exact thoughts ) and actually like all the things his father wanted him to like. he felt like there was something seriously wrong with him for liking things that were aimed for girls because of all the bullshit ideas his father would put in his head. there were days where he desperately wanted to cry because he hated being the way he was, feeling the way he did, even though he wasn’t aware of his sexuality but he just knew that he was…. different , and he hated it

and then one day, the day before his ninth birthday, his parents are out and his sister is in her room. emilio starts wandering through his parents room, looking for a radio he knew they had stored somewhere in there. instead, he finds a large box filled with his mother’s make up, wigs, accessories, and all the nice things she uses to go out. really , he doesn’t know what comes over him, but he finds himself taking the box towards his parents’ bathroom and using the things that are in there

he starts by putting on his mother’s dress, then one of his favorite wigs that she owns, then he puts on a few accessories, and finally, he starts putting on her make up. her eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, the whole look, and once he’s done, emilio stands there, looking at himself in the mirror, and like the times where he genuinely smiles when it’s just him and his sister, he starts to genuinely smile while looking at himself. he felt alive, he thought he looked so, so pretty, but that moment of pure happiness doesn’t last too long

he doesn’t hear the front door unlock at all. the only thing he manages to see is the bathroom door swing open, his father standing there behind him, a look of horror and disgust on his face when he see’s what his son has done

! tws for abuse, homophobia, passing out, injuries and hospitals for the next 2 bullets, please skip over this if such things trigger you or proceed with caution ! the next few minutes seem to happen in slow motion for emilio. he starts stuttering out apologies, but before he can fully explain himself, he feels several punches being thrown his way. the last thing he remembers is hearing his mother and sister screaming at his father to stop, before the room turns completely black

the next day, emilio wakes up in the hospital. his injuries are bad, but what hurts the most is when he breathes. turns out, his father had fractured three of his ribs in the process of hitting him. the first person he see’s is his sister, and he can feel her holding his hand incredibly tight and he can clearly see the tears in her eyes. his mother is beside her, with the same expression on her face, but his father is nowhere to be found. right at that moment though, he walks through the door and asks for a moment alone with his son. emilio, terrified of what he would do, tries his best not to shake. the only thing his father does then is run his hands past his sons hair in the least comforting way possible. after that, he says ‘i’m sorry for doing that to you, but what do you expect me to do when you pull gay ass shit like that? no son of mines is gonna turn out that way’. to wrap up a sad story, they tell the hospital staff that his injuries are from kids at school rather than the truth, and emilio? spends his ninth birthday in the emergency room crying ( literally ) ! end of tws !

after that, emilio makes sure to hide every bit of who he is, even when only his sister is around. the only good thing about being injured was that he could get out of soccer practice and he missed a few days of school, but besides that, the atmosphere at the gatti household has never been more tense

around this time is when his father gets a job promotion in pensacola, florida. despite being an abusive alcoholic, he’s always taken his job very seriously. without much question, his family moves half way across the world

emilio is actually excited about this move because he thinks that this can be a huge chance to reinvent himself. maybe in a whole other continent, he can be a different person. maybe all the thoughts that his father so openly disagrees with could disappear here in america ( you can’t ungay yourself emilio but ok ), little does he know, it’s a lot easier said than done

for starters, he struggles a lot with the language. he’s only spoken italian all his life, so learning english is very difficult for him. on top of that, the thoughts he so desperately wants to get rid of only seem to get stronger in here. everything is so different and he finds himself so lost, it makes him depressed, because on top of not speaking the language, the older he gets, the more he starts realizing that his feelings aren’t going away

the move to america only seems to make his father’s attitude even worse as well, and he starts drinking even more, becomes even more verbally abusive, up to the point where emilio feels like he can’t even breathe around him. he knows that with one wrong move, that verbal abuse could turn physical real quick, so he does everything he can to get on his good side

thankfully, his mother becomes fed up with his father’s shit after a while, and after much convincing from his sister, they leave him like the scum he is, yolanda taking her two children and moving to inwood in new york, far away from him

for a while, things seem to look up for them . emilio finds himself understanding more and more english each day, actually making a decent amount of friends thanks to his spunky and out going attitude, his father is no longer around, which of course, is a huge plus, his grades are better than they were before, it all seems to be working out for them, of course, until it isn’t

fast forward a few months and his mother meets a man she soon marries after three months of knowing him. there were some upsides to this, as larry was nothing at all like his father, and thanks to him, his family manages to gain american citizenship, but…. his mother becomes very, very attached to him. emilio is skeptical about larry, but all he knows is that he makes his mother happy and that’s really all he cares about

this dream bubble doesn’t last long because one day, when they come home, larry’s things are gone. surprisingly? his mother smiles and claims it’s all okay, that’s she’s perfectly fine with him leaving, but later that night, it’s obvious that she’s most definitely not okay

! tws for self harm, mental illness and blood, please skip over this if such things trigger you or proceed with caution ! emilio is in the living room doing some homework and listening to music in low volume when he hears something fall to the ground from the kitchen. curiously of course, he walks over there to find his mother sitting on the kitchen floor, her wrists gushing with blood, and she’s shaking and crying. his stomach falls instantly and he screams for his sister. obviously, they call 911. unfortunately, his mother needs to be held for evaluation for a minimum of three days. even more unfortunately, three days turn into a week once she’s evaluated and they realize she is most definitely still not okay. emilio and elena are told their mother is depressed, and apparently has been depressed for a very long time  –  her husband leaving her just happened to be her breaking point, as she thinks it’s karma for leaving her husband, the father of her kids ( even though he was an awful person, but yolanda is convinced this is the reason larry left ) ! end of tws !

thankfully, she’s released after exactly a week and three days, but emilio still has the traumatic memory of seeing his mother that way. even though she appears to be a lot better mentally , he suddenly feels like it’s him and his sister’s job to take care of her , even though he’s struggling with his own issues ( school, his sexuality, etc ) . at the time, he was fifteen, and his sister was nineteen

after so many ‘days off’ from work , the gatti’s fall behind on rent , which forces his sister to get a second job to help make ends meet. emilio gets a part time job after school to help as well, so on top of the trauma he holds, both from his mother and his father, he also has to worry about being kicked out of their home

it’s a silly part time job at a bakery just a few blocks away from his house. emilio isn’t expecting much of it, basically just getting the job to help his family, but there, he meets… a guy

he’s sixteen, a year older than him, and remember those feelings emilio keeps trying so hard to push back? well, they just come pouring out of him, because he develops such a huge crush on this guy, even though he deeply denies it at first. surprisingly? this guy becomes his first ever boyfriend. literally cute, pure, high school love

despite his father not being in the picture anymore, emilio doesn’t feel like it’s his time to come out. his father’s words, unfortunately, have been practically welded into his brain, convincing him that being gay is wrong, but at this point, he’s no longer in denial. he knows he’s gay, he just doesn’t want everyone else to know ( at least not now, with all his problems going on at home )

the next year consists of attending visits to the psychiatrist and psychologist with his mother, helping make ends meet not just for rent, but for his mother’s medication, and juggling school as well. the first person emilio comes out to is his sister, when he’s sixteen, and her literal response? ‘i know, silly’. afterwards, he comes out to his mother, and thankfully, they’re both very accepting, even though he himself is still struggling with who he is, but he starts learning to accept himself more and more each day

emilio really finds himself in high school. not just with his sexuality , but his personality develops a lot more. he realizes he can be a huge brat when he doesn’t get his way, as he hates hearing the words no. starts experimenting with narcotics and alcohol , though he really only sticks to basic stuff like weed and cigarettes ( actually left traumatized with alcohol after his father , though he will have a drink every once in a while ). basically just coming of age things. maybe things are kind of okay now ( as okay as it could be for the gatti’s, at least ), but of course, do things ever really stay okay forever when it comes to this family? not quite

! tws for brief mentions of inappropriate underage relationships ( student/teacher ), grooming implication, bullying and slut shaming for the next three bullets, please skip over this if such things trigger you or proceed with caution ! finally , his senior year of high school. emilio feels like he’s changed so much. came out of the closet, gained a lot more confidence, really, really found himself. the last thing emilio is expecting is to have a thing with his history teacher of all people. a man who is married to a woman but claims to be ‘straight just curious’. the teacher is thirty seven and emilio is almost eighteen, which makes it super obvious the teacher is just using him for his own pleasure, and emilio? he lets himself get used, honest to god knowing it was super wrong, and knowing he was being taken advantage of and groomed, but he couldn’t see farther ahead

call it daddy issues? his unspoken traumas? the fact that he’s kind of a hoe? but emilio doesn’t care enough to stop until things start to actually get scandalous, despite not even feeling attracted to the guy  –  he just liked the attention

to this day, emilio has no idea how the news came to light. one day, he just walks into school and he can see and hear people whispering about him, pointing at him, clearly gossiping about him. he gets to his locker and the first thing he notices is the word ‘slut’ written in red spray paint. as if that isn’t bad enough, the second he opens the thing, at least a hundred condoms fall to the ground, along with another hundred pictures of said history teacher. needles to say, it becomes a huge scandal. the teacher gets fired and arrested and emilio is asked if he wants to press charges and, unfortunately for him, even though he refuses to press any type of charges, he still has to give a statement of everything that happened between them ( just imagine how uncomfortable this is for him ). emilio is slut shammed and bullied so bad, he’s forced to finish the rest of his senior year at night school ( yikes ) ! ends of tws !

after high school, his life has been kind of ‘normal’ you could say. he took a gap year then got his aa at 22, and is currently going to school for psychology as he really wants to be a psychologist to genuinely help people like his mother. he’s taking care of her and his sister moved to back to italy, and, despite having a decent amount of savings to get his own place, emilio doesn’t have it in him to leave his mother, kind of afraid that she might do something crazy. he takes care of her

he works at newleaf and goes to school as well, trying to get his shit together after what a shit show most of his school years have been 

he’s actually a very ambitious person. like, very, very ambitious. when he wants something, he sets his mind to it and gets it, whether it be a guy, an expensive shirt he saw and really liked, whatever the case is, what he wants, he gets. very, very determined guy, definitely, for sure getting the fuck out of inwood eventually if you know what i mean

he can be very surprising, as he shows one face to everyone but has a completely different one when he’s around people he trusts. you never really know what to expect with him

he plays piano! a habit him and his sister picked up from their grandfather when they were younger. he’s actually very, very good, but very few people, if not no one, knows he has this hobby. very big hidden talent, but he likes it that way, as he plays because he wants to feel moved in someway, not because he wants everyone to know he plays

he loves attention and validation, maybe because he never received any growing up. literally tell him he’s pretty and buy him so gelato 

huge flirt. sometimes he won’t even notice he’s flirting, it’ll just come naturally and he’ll be like woops vjkdnvjdfn

kind of a stubborn brat. it’s his way or the highway

he has the tiniest, most unnoticeable scar his on his upper left cheek that his father gave to him on that day that shall not be named. tells people his dog did that to him despite the fact that he’s never even had a pet fish before, let alone a dog

he’s low key insecure about his teeth but you’d never guess it . his top two front teeth are bunny like so it’s always been a secret insecurity of his

he has a cigarette habit? it’s gotten a lot less intense since high school , but it’s still there. just call him a typical italian kjndfvcfjfd

i’m gonna end this here because it’s already pretty long, but below is his birthchart, please hmu for plots!

birthchart ;

[pollyrepents]

jumping jacks

A/N: Hi! This is my first Peaky Blinders fic! If anything is OOC, I do apologize. I had a panic attack, so I made Michael have one. I started myself off with Michael, Polly and an OC since I don’t feel too confident in my ability to characterize any of the Shelbys yet.

Warnings: Details anxiety/panic attack and brief mention of sexual abuse and blood. 

Word Count: 1.7k

The last time Michael’s teeth chattered so hard it was the middle of the summer a little more than two years prior to the moment he stood in. His little brother had fallen from the tree behind the church their mother shepherded them to every other Sunday when she had finished the baking early. Michael--he was still Henry then, was wearing his week’s cleanest clothes and his little brother tried his hardest to keep his pants clean as Michael chased him down the cobblestone road to the awaiting hymns and creaky wooden pews. They always sat in the back, whispering quietly to each other as their mother continued the well rehearsed dance of sit, stand, kneel and bowing her head in the second pew from the front. The moment he fell from that tree and didn’t spring up the way he usually did after a tumble down the creaky wooden stairs at home, Michael’s heart seized in his chest for a moment before the harsh thundering of his heart kicked up rapidly.

Now he sat on the steps in his pinstripe suit as his mother confessed the things weighing her down inside the dark confessional, his teeth chattering and hands trembling as he waited.

He could still hear the choking of Father Hughes if his breath quieted for too long. The shallow breaths could convince him that the same stench of copper and frankincense was filling his nostrils as it had that night, closing his eyes brought back the weight on his knees on that stone floor, the grip on his knife and dampening cassock between his fingers suddenly reappeared.

He could not stop reliving the murder he deserved to commit.

He had cornered him the same way Hughes had all those times. 

He had cornered him the same way he knew the bastard had cornered other little ones, countless others, under the guise of confession or a one-on-one sermon or monitoring their penance to make sure it was done properly.

No matter how much he convinced himself he deserved it, Michael couldn’t shake the weight from his chest.

“Michael!” 

He could have thought it was Polly if he had mistaken the excitement for urgency in the small voice that had called to him. It was accompanied not by the clicking of heels, but by the thudding of small shoes stolen handed down from an older brother figure or stolen from a smaller make believe niece that had told him his cousin Edith was making her way toward him. He looked up, the small girl’s cheeks rosy and spread with a wide smile as she raced toward him. 

“Michael!” She repeated, almost a cheer as she neared him.

He tried his best to pull himself together, standing up and stubbing out his disappearing cigarette under his foot to give his hands an excuse to dig in his pockets, searching for his case and lighter. His chest rose slowly as he tried to stop his shaking, his body fighting against the tweed of his waistcoat and the weight of his coat pressed against his chest.

“Hello, Edith.” He forced a smile for the sake of the little girl, the neighborhood rascal Polly had spoken fondly of throwing herself against his legs and wrapping her small arms firmly around them. 

“John said you were-” She panted loudly, her flair for the dramatics making Michael want to smile. “John said you were sad.”

“He did?” Michael spoke through his clenched teeth, afraid the rattling would startle the child. He looked down at her, raising his eyebrows as she pressed her chin into his stomach. “Why’d he said that, Edie girl?”

She narrowed her eyes, the corners of her lips turning upwards as she looked up at him. She looked at people too closely for Michael’s liking. She was nothing like his little brother had been-oblivious to others the way a child should be, only picking up on the big things that involved them. 

Not their little Edith.

Edith had managed to pick up on Tommy’s scrutinizing observation and John’s big mouth, two things he was sure Polly would have beaten out of them if she knew the little girl would soak them up like a sponge. 

“He said you were thinking a lot. The way he says I do when Tommy uses a tone or when Polly uses a tone when she catches me.”

“Doing something they’ve told you not to?” He felt himself smirk, taking a deep inhale of smoke. She nodded, pressing her cheek against the fabric of his suit and he dropped a shaky hand to busy itself trying to pull the visible knots out of her thick and curly hair, his blood thudding dully in his ears. 

He was sure it was braided this morning, he remembered John squeezing her between the desk and his chair as she whined and writhed and attempted to escape the man’s makeshift braiding workshop. He tried to conjure up the image again, a squirming child in the overly masculine betting den ten minutes after open because she moved too slowly, much to Tommy’s annoyance.

“John makes me do jumping jacks when I get sad.”

It was so muffled by her smushed cheek and his rattling breaths he almost couldn’t make it out.

“Say again?” He leaned back a bit to try to look at her face.

“When I get upset and my breathing goes all-” She panted heavily, moving her shoulders up and down for a moment as she did. “John makes me do jumping jacks. He tried to make Arthur do them but Arthur told him to fuck off-” her lips clamed shut at the slip of her tongue, and she looked up at Michael with wide brown eyes. 

“That’s just between us.” Michael felt himself wink, the little girl nodded and tugged gently on the wool of her sweater sleeves, bringing them over her cold hands. “Do them!”

Michael blinked his eyes in surprise.

“Come on, then!” Edith pried herself away from him, the lack of heat seemingly not bothering her in the chill of Birmingham’s winter. “He says twenty at a time.”

“Oh, and you can count to twenty now?” If it was teasing or trying to find a way out of a circuit of exercise on the street, Michael couldn’t tell.

“I can count to a hundred!” She puffed out her chest proudly. “I can count better than Finn.”

“So can little Katie.” Michael made the girl giggle at the mention of John’s youngest as he obliged, standing upright and tossing his cigarette to the ground. He moved his jaw a bit, his hand coming up to attempt to rub some tension away.

“Ready?” Edith bounced excitedly on her toes, nearly tipping over before Michael steadied her.

At his nod, she jumped and flung her arms up, her fingertips brushing together as she clumsily spread her legs out and snapped back together. Michael copied her movement, his a bit more agile than the ten year old’s. They repeated their action as Michael tried to ignore the quizzical looks of the passersby, Edith giggling happily as they bounced and she counted along proudly.

“Nine-”

“Where’s your coat, Edith?”

The small girl stopped abruptly, looking past Michael and up the church stairs. Polly walked down the stairs behind them, heels clicking on the damp grey stone as she pulled her scarf from around her neck. “You’ll catch a deadly cold out in this.”

Michael’s breath left him in puffs, his heart thundering in his chest but beginning to return to normal.

“I didn’t need one.”Edith panted, looking up at Polly as she fixed her scarf over the girl’s neck and shoulders the best she could. “I was running and I knew I’d get warm from it so I didn’t-”

“So John didn’t stop you, that’s it?” Polly pursed her lips as Edith looked to Michael for help. His mother turned on him and Michael tore his gaze from the soft brown eyes of the girl. “You could have wrapped her up in yours. I was only a moment.”

Michael cleared his throat. “We were warming up, anyways.” He slipped his hand into his pocket for a cigarette, cupping his hand around the end to light it. “Doing jumping jacks to keep her from running down the Lane. I figured everyone could do with a moment’s peace from Edith’s mayhem.”

Michael could see the little girl’s mouth open to declare that Michael’s told you a lie, Polly! The same way she had whenever Finn got away with a white lie on a whim, but she looked up at Polly with a grin that could clear Brimingham smog if she intended it to.

“My counting’s gotten good, Polly!” She clapped her small hands together, scrunching her nose up as Polly hummed. “Counted all the way up to a hundred without stopping.”

“Did you?” Polly humored the child, looking up to Michael with a soft hint of a smile.

Michael tilted his head to the side. “Close enough to it.”

Edith shivered against Polly, her teeth beginning to click together in the cold.

“Oh-see? Come on, Edith. Before the chill gets in there.” Polly softly tapped a finger to the left of Edith’s chest, grabbing a small hand in her own.

“Are we going to the Garrison, Polly?” She looked up at Polly then briefly down the road. “To see Arthur and them?”

“You’re going home, with me, for supper, Edith.” Polly gently tugged her hand as they started down the road at Polly’s pace.

“Wait!” Edith wrenched her hand from Polly’s practically throwing herself into Michael’s arms for a final goodbye.

“I’ll see you soon, Edith.” Michael lifted her up in a tight hug, taking a deep breath the same time she did, her weight against his front comforting and warm.

“Tomorrow.” She insisted, leaning back to press her clammy hands to his face. “We’ll play footy, with Finn.”

“Tomorrow.”Michael promised in the same tone he made business deals, no idea if he could fulfill it. “Footy. With Finn.”

“And biscuits.” She attempted to whisper, her small voice carrying.

“If-”

“If Polly lets us.” Michael interrupted his mother, raising his eyebrows at young girl in his arms before setting her down.

“Bye, Michael!” Edith skipped her way to Polly, her hand finding the older woman’s again.

Michael’s shoulders rose as he took a deep breath, taking in the smoke of the factories behind him and the dampness the morning’s snow had brought upon the cobblestone surrounding him. For a moment, there was no copper scent, no gurgling and no iron grip on holy clothes. 

Just Birmingham, for the moment.

Just home.

[eeriefeelingsat3amuwu]

Oc’s

Nina Heath

Skin tone: dark

Eye color: blue

Hair: curly, dark brown with a blue ombre

Height: 158cm

Weight: 90kg

Age: 23

Gender: nonbinary

Sexuality: bisexual

Details: vitiligo on their left shoulder/right hip/stomach/back/over the left eye, eyebrow piercing, nose ring, lip ring, ears pierced all the way up, sleeve tattoos on both arms, tattoos all over their body (thighs, ankles, torso, back, calves,...)

Personality: confident, chaotic good, gremlin, dumb but kinda smart, loyal, would kill for their friends, would kill their friends, angry, smol and chubby, disastrous bisexual, scary, yell-a-lot, bunnies!, strong, caring

Hobbies: baking, crocheting, arguing, painting nails, reading (but their head hurts), cuddling, kissing, calming their girlfriend down, Fighting with people who hurt their friends/girlfriend (is totaly the embodiment of:

Nina: You made Sophia cry!

Tray: Sophia always cries!

Sophia, crying: That’s not true...)

Hates: dysphoria, homophobes, transphobes, Karens, birds, tall people who make fun of them, their glasses (but their head hurts if they don’t wear them), contacts (but their head hurts if they don’t wear them), headaches

Job: baker

Sophia Georgening

Skin tone: caramel

Eye color: green

Hair: really messy,straight (unlike her), bob cut with a triangle undercut at the back if her head, ginger

Height: 186cm

Weight: 78kg

Age: 24

Gender: cis woman

Sexuality: lesbian

Details: freckles all over her face and shoulders, bushy eyebrows with an eyebrow cut in the left one, tongue piercing, tattoo of a Phoenix on her back between the shoulder blades, Nina and a heart tattooed on her right bicep, ripped (seriously, she’s buff, she has abs, biceps, triceps, she could crush a melon with her thighs, the CaLvEs,...), wears her hair tied up in a messy bun almost 90% of the time, vegetarian and whenever she eats a product that came from an Animal like milk or an egg, she apologizes to said animal

Personality: calm, thoughtful, lawful good, a TrEe, loving, caring, silent, secretly anxious, strict, tidy, colected, extremely smart but almost never shows it, a bottom, sensitive, crybaby

Hobbies: blacksmithing, archery (but she never shoots at living targets and cries when she needs to shoot at plastic animals), working out, running, kickboxing (even tho she apologizes to her oponent afterwards), helping people out, petting animals, kissing, cuddling

Hates: sad movies, Animal cruelty, mean people, social interactions (but she’s good at hiding it), not much else, she thinks that everyone deserves another chance and that all people have some good in them

Job: works in a flower shop, part time blacksmith/gym trainer

Tray Black

Skin tone: light

Eye color: yellow

Hair: short, bright blue

Height: 175cm

Weight: 69kg

Age: 20

Gender: genderflux (using all pronouns, mostly they/them, so they’ll be refered to as such while description is going on)

Sexuality: asexual panromantic

Details: nose ring (changes up every day), extravagant earrings, sleeve tattoo on their right arm, a snake tattooed around their left thigh, colorful/black clothing (they either look like a neon paint bomb or as a black hole), they rarely bind but pack rather often (bottom dysphoria is worse then the top one), a lot of rings and bracelets (you always know when they’re near since you hear clanking), hats, always wearing earphones

Personality: they’re really extra in every way, chill, sarcastic, funny, flegmatic, pesimistic, both love and hate attention, very competitive, potterhead but hates JK, totaly a Slytherin (and not just because of the snakes), a bit arrogant, very good leader, very very smart, good at arguments (seriously, you so don’t want to get into an argument with them, they’ll obliterate you)

Hobbies: singing, drums, gaming, playing the guitar, sketching people/sceneries, reading (mostly sci-fi/fantasy), dying hair, combining jewelry with clothes, listening to music, taking care of their pet sneks

Hates: shoping, overplayed pop songs, dogs, teeth, the summer (it’s too damn hot for them), homophobes/transphobes, J.K. Rowling, terfs, politics (the people)

Job: part time at Nina’s bakery, studying politology and sociology, in the school band

Connor Wearings

Skin tone: lightly tanned (not as pale as Tray but not as dark as Sophia)

Eye color: heterochromia - left eye is green, right eye is grey

Hair: curly, short, hazelnut brown

Height: 168cm

Weight: 64kg

Age: 21

Gender: demiboy (using he/him pronouns but not quite cis)

Sexuality: asexual, aromantic

Details: freckles. everywhere., always smiling (he’s got dimples), dressed freely (skirts, dress, pants, blouses, shirts, heels, crop tops, hoodies,...), he’s really comfortable in his body and yet he’s not fully comfortable with all that comes with it, smol bean, the cutest little pout, ALWAYS covered in paint, fingers are pernamently covered in bandaids, wears a bandana to hold his hair back while working

Personality: he’s a total sweetheart, kind, helpful, outgoing, happy-go-lucky, loving, caring, funny, always laughing/smiling, really hard to piss him off, really easy to make him upset (another embodiement of ‘he always cries), ‘Maybe I can drink my problems away’ *opens capri-sun*, dog lover, puppy-like personality, loyal

Hobbies: drawing, cooking, baking, petting animals, fluffy things!, crocheting, sewing, painting, dressing up, making tea, helping his friends, hugging, holding hands, platonic relationships

Hates: arguments, people who make fun of someone, rude people, loud music, the dark, the cold, octopuses, dark colors, unfinished jobs

Job: studying art, psychology and doing a baking course at the moment (very productive and capable), working a part-time at a convinience store and a daycare centre (the kids love him)

Abram Hayze

Skin tone: dark

Eye color: hazelnut

Hair: deep brown, curly and fluffy

Height: 197cm

Weight: 78kg

Age: 19

Gender: agender - e/em/eir/emself pronouns

Sexuality: pansexual, demiromantic

Details: e has a lot of moles all over eir body, mostly presents androgynous, yet sometimes likes to present feminine, had very unaccepting parents so whenever e is forced to go to a more profesional setting or to meet with older people, e presents masculine even though e hates it, very proud of eir hair, love to play with them when e’s nervous and try new hairstyles all the time, e never dyes it tho, piercings on both ears, piercing under the lip, piercing in the bellybutton

Personality: e is really calm, likes to think and be alone, yet also loves to spend time with eir friends, smiling a lot, always there when someone needs em, really perceptive and no one really knows how e does it, but e seems to know about a lot of stuff that other people don’t (it’s just the fact that e is very trustworthy and so a lot of people let their guard down around em), e is also really into debates, but not the political ones like Tray, eir partner, but rather ones about books, headcannons and interests, e is also really sneaky and likes to play tricks and pranks on people, especially confusing them with the food that e eats, e is chaotic good

Habbies: reading, hiding around places and letting emself be found in the most ridiculous positions, putting stuff on the top shelves when e is hanging out with eir friends (the short ones), sitting in strange places where no one knows how e got in, sleeping

Hates: homophobes/transphobes, people with no sense of humor, long waits, queues, places with a lot of people, the dark

Job: studying psychology, working part-time in a hairdressing shop

Tenzin Arish

Skin tone: slightly tanned

Eye color: purple

Hair: deep black, short (one side is totaly buzzed and the other is a bit longer) the ends are bleached and dyed (purple, blue, green, pink) depending on their mood

Height: 164cm

Weight: 58kg

Age: 22

Gender: nonbinary (xe/ xeir/ xem)

Sexuality: queer

Details: xe are really skinny and fairly androgynous, no one actually knows what xeir biological sex is and xe aren’t gonna tell anyone anytime soon, xe present androgynously, yet sometimes xe like to present masc/fem, depending on the day, xe love xeir hair and that’s why xe dye them so often, if xe don’t like the color, it can even change daily

Personality: sarcasm and irony are the two languages xe speak in, xe like coffee and practicaly live off of it, no one ever saw xem sleep, xe are always online and always awake when someone knocks on xeir door at any time (so xeir friends know that when they need a friend, xe will be awake whenever they decide to come there), xe love helping people with their mental problems yet xe never try to solve xeir own, the only other language xe speak is memes

Hobbies: taking care of stray animals, helping people out (whether it’s an old lady who needs to cross the street or a protestor who needs protection from the rubber bullets/tear gas), protesting, breaking down gender boundaries, educating people on the LGBTQ+ history, history itself, archeology, xe love caves and everything that has to do with geology

Hates: homophobes/transphobes, terfs, anyone who’s stupidly using history (especially against the LGBTQ+ comunity), plants (xe have alergies), flowers (xe think it’s overated)

Job: part-time job in a museum, studying history and geology

Okay, so I hope you enjoy...this? Please inform me if my autocorrect misgendered one of my sweethearts, I proofread it but one can never be so sure. To be clear: all of them hate transphobes/homophobes, racists, terfs, neon*zis, Tr*mp supporters and everyone else who is somehow harming people or disrespecting their rights, I just really didn’t have the willpower to write everything of this down in every Single one of the hate columns because that would mean I have to think about it and that would do me no good, because I really didn’t want to have a mental breakdown while writing about my oc’s. That’ll be all, thanks for comming to my TED talk.

Tags: @exhaustedauthor @definietlynotsatan @detroit-become-snail @nyamafriend and @ anyone who wants to read this. Bye!

[bubbebruja]

On the Death of Sirius Black and Literary Gay Bashing in Harry Potter

In 2003, I was ten, straight, and positively obsessed with Hermione Granger.

If those last two things sound a little contradictory, it’s because they were. I do not mean I was “obsessed” in the sense that I wanted to dress up like her for Halloween, I mean “obsessed” in the sense that I literally blushed anytime my mom read her name aloud to my sister and I.

Queer. I was queer. I just didn’t know it yet.

Thus, I didn’t notice the Sirius/Remus romantic subtext as a child, drinking hot chocolate propped against my sister’s knees and listening enraptured as my mom read to us from the most recently released Harry Potter book. When Order of the Phoenix came out, I was far more interested in Angsty Harry™ and the evils of Delores Umbridge, and when Sirius died, I was not even all that upset. I didn’t really like him all that much, knew even at that age that he embodied too many of the stereotypically “masculine” traits I had already grown to hate with his pride and brooding and emotional immaturity. I didn’t much care, much less recognize that JK Rowling had done something rather unforgiveable.

But others did.

Seventeen years later, I get it.

By 2003, many older, wiser readers had long since clocked the queer subtext between Sirius and Remus. And, when I picked up the books earlier this year to re-read them for the first time since they were read to me as a child, I saw it too. (Notably, this was prior to JKR’s most recent round of blazing transphobia, after which I stopped reading.) And, okay, yes, I am the type of queer who reads queerness into many things. But y’all, I really didn’t have to try all that hard this time. If I were reading these books for the first time in the context of 2020, I would assume Remus and Sirius were canonically a couple, and JKR just wasn’t bashing us over the head with clear evidence of it. She doesn’t do that most of the time anyway. By Order of the Phoenix, in my opinion, the evidence (as movie Dumbledore says so awkwardly) is incontrovertible. The living together? The joint Christmas present? The “Sirius, sit down” scene early in the book? The confirmed HIV/AIDS metaphor, IN THE 90S?? THEY’RE FUCKING GAY TOGETHER.

And here’s the thing, (and I have no proof of this, so you’re just going to have to roll with it): I think it’s pretty clear that JKR became more conservative as time progressed. Money tends to do that to people, conveniently. What started as a series about the power young people hold to defeat evil and fight injustice eventually devolved into a flaccid epilogue where heterosexual nuclear families abounded and there were (still) no visibly queer characters in sight.

By the time the final book came out, I was a full-fledged teenager, and I, too, had abandoned fantasies of fighting evil and injustice for fantasies of settling down with “my perfect man” (L. O. L.) So, I get it. I get that priorities change for young people. But for adults, especially those recently drunk on the power of infinite amounts of money and fame? Nah. JKR knew what she was doing. JKR laid all the groundwork for a possible relationship between Remus and Sirius and then changed her mind. Or was told to change her mind. Or was forced to change her mind.

I have A Lot Of Feelings™ about Tonks and Remus’s relationship (most of which are about the way their canonical relationship plays into a lot of really awful tropes about disabled people which, no matter how you read him, Remus is). And I have a lot of feelings about Sirius Black as a character. I have a lot of feelings about Dumbledore, some related to his posthumous outing and some not. And, like most of us now, I have a lot of feelings about the entire franchise as a whole. But here’s what I know: It doesn’t actually matter, because JKR didn’t just change the explicit relationship dynamics between Sirius and Remus, she quite literally killed any chances of queer romance.

And she didn’t just kill Sirius. She killed Remus, too. And Tonks (who is a genderqueer butch and I will die on that hill). And Dumbledore. And the cute, squeaky house elf with a love for clothes and an obsession with Harry. And the young Gryffindor boy who followed Harry around, constantly asking for photos and autographs. And – you know what? Fuck it. – the person who lived INSIDE ANOTHER MAN’S BODY before returning to his bodily form, during which time he relied heavily on his male servant who cut off a literal body part to restore his master.

Am I reading too much queer subtext into each of these characters? Maybe. But, as this lovely article states, “close reading is queer culture, always has been.” And I can’t help but notice that the vast majority of the characters JKR didn’t kill off are, well, pretty fucking straight. (Drarry shippers, feel free to come at me. I’m sure there’s plenty of queer subtext there, too). They’re, for the most part, characters with a clear canonical history of heterosexual romance, as if only those with a possible future of a heterosexual, nuclear family are worthy of survival.

And I just don’t think this was an accident. I think it was the intentional plan of someone who started to feel like the world of inclusion she’d created was being read as far too inclusive.

To call this “literary gay bashing” is a pretty serious accusation with a pretty serious use of a very loaded term. But the thing is, I think we too often let people like JKR off the hook without recognizing what her words – both literary and non-literary – have done and can do. We too often dismiss it with statements like, “she’s entitled to her opinion”. Gay bashing is the intentional abuse or assault of someone perceived to be a member of the LGBTQIA2+ community, physically or verbally, that often results in lasting harm or death. And I use this term to describe JKR’s work particularly because it is sensationalizing, because it calls violence what it is: violence. Because, sure, she’s as entitled to her opinion as anyone else. But the second you create a world where anyone, especially children, are going to see themselves, going to feel safe, your “opinion” better do as little violence as possible.

When I saw the first Harry Potter movie, back in 2001, I refused to discuss it for months. I was furious. At the time, I couldn’t quite pinpoint why, but I now realize that I was heartbroken that Hermione Granger didn’t look like me. When JKR described a girl with wild, brown curly hair, I saw me. I saw my hair. And so, as children tend to do, I saw the rest of me, too. I saw tanned skin and dark brown eyes and full lips and high cheekbones (the ones people always told me made me look “Indian”, which I only partially am). I saw the quiet confidence that develops when you’re the brownest kid in your school, ready to strike but only when provoked. The pale, arrogant, racially unambiguous Hermione Granger I saw on the screen made me feel dirty, cast off, unworthy of representation. The self-hatred I felt when White Hermione Granger entered the film alongside White Harry Potter and White Ron Weasley and White Everyone Else was a kind of violence.

And when JKR killed off all of her queer-read characters, she took that violence to another level. Because they were there, we saw them, we did not imagine the romantic undertones between Remus and Sirius, or the way that a shape-shifting young woman with short, spiky hair reads an awful lot like a person uninterested in traditional gender. We saw ourselves in the most beloved franchise of all time. And then, she took away those possibilities, and she took away those characters.

And you know what? People die because they can’t see themselves in media. People die because that’s what they’ve watched everyone like them do on screen and in books. It’s not harmless, and it’s not victimless, and it’s violent.

There’s only one solution to literary gay bashing: To Bash Back. We can and do write ourselves into the stories, into the world, and refuse to settle for explanations that gaslight us into thinking we imagined things that were never there, or ask us to settle for tiny crumbs of useless representation.

I intended to finish my most recent story, “Come Healing”, with an ambiguous ending that left the possibility of Sirius’s death open to reader interpretation. But then, JKR kept going, and talking, and kept creating violence, and I got mad. And so, like so many queers before me, I rewrote the story and changed the ending, and created love and security and peace and life where the canonical author had created hopelessness and death. And in the world we live in right now, that is radical. It is bashing back.

It’s tiny, but it’s something. Every time we write a happy ending for a queer character, we create the possibilities of happy endings for queer people everywhere. And no one – no matter how hard she may try – can take that away.

[fontofmercy-archived2]

The Sansa/Arya Rivalry: A Defense of Sansa Stark

1.) Arya is an unreliable narrator

“It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn.” A Game of Thrones, Arya I

“Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment.” - A Game of Thrones, Arya I

Arya is projecting her insecurities onto Sansa here. There is only one instance when Sansa calls Arya ugly and it’s in the same childish outburst where she calls her “hairy” and I doubt that Arya has some hormonal issue that’s not mentioned so clearly Sansa didn’t mean either of those and that one little outburst is not a basis for Arya’s consistent insecurities about her appearance and overall masculinity.

“Sansa sighed as she stitched. “Poor Jon,” she said. “He gets jealous because he’s a bastard.” - A Game of Thrones, Arya I

“He’s our brother,” Arya said, much too loudly. Her voice cut through the afternoon quiet of the tower room.” - A Game of Thrones, Arya I

Arya jumps to Jon's defense even though Sansa didn't say anything to really warrant that. She didn’t say that Jon’s not their brother. All Sansa said was that Jon gets jealous (which is an accurate observation, Jon was jealous of Joffrey) but Arya assumes something negative from it and gets upset which is partially because she was already on edge about the Septa targeting her but again, she projects this anger at Sansa.

Arya also blames Sansa when the Septa comes over to embarrass her even though it explicitly says that Arya yelling was what attracted her attention:

“(Arya’s) voice cut through the afternoon quiet of the tower room.” - A Game of Thrones, Arya I

...5 seconds later...

“It was just like Sansa to go and attract the septa's attention. "Here," she said, surrendering up her work.” - A Game of Thrones, Arya I

The point I’m getting at is that Arya (and Sansa) are unreliable narrators because they’re children. Arya is an emotional 9-year-old child, not a noble heroine who always knows what’s right and wrong. Arya assumes a lot of negatives about Sansa that simply aren’t true and this comes into play later as well, Arya says:

“...Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near.” - A Game of Thrones, Arya I

“At Winterfell they had called her "Arya Horseface" and she'd thought nothing could be worse.” - A Clash of Kings, Arya I

“She bit her lip, groping for another name. Lommy had called her Lumpyhead, Sansa used Horseface, and her father's men once dubbed her Arya Underfoot, but she did not think any of those were the sort of name he wanted.” - A Clash of Kings, Arya IX

The top quote is from AGoT, when Arya is still living with Sansa and Jeyne. That is when her memory is most reliable, and that quote is taken from a paragraph that is all about Sansa except this one line where Arya specifies that only Jeyne calls her that. If Sansa called her Horseface, Arya would have thought of it here when she was in Winterfell thinking about all the things she doesn’t like about Sansa but she doesn’t. She specifically says only Jeyne calls her that.

The second quote is from (the start of) ACoK and the last is from (the end of) ACoK. Notice the way Arya’s memory goes from, when it’s most reliable, being that Jeyne calls her Horseface to being a vague they called her Horseface to Arya thinking, in a moment of stress, that Sansa called her that.

Arya is not thinking about Jeyne, the girl she hardly knew, by the time she’s reached that point in the story and is that stressed. Arya’s thoughts are so focused on survival and getting back to her family, it makes sense that she wouldn’t think of Jeyne and would instead pin that memory on her sister who she always pinned her insecurities on.

It’s clear that Arya thinking Sansa called her Horseface is unreliable and inaccurate. Jeyne was the one who called Arya Horseface.

2.) The real source of Arya’s insecurities

The Septa. A grown adult who is a secondary mother figure. The Septa is constantly pitting Arya against Sansa (often for her looks):

"Sansa's work is as pretty as she is," Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. "She has such fine, delicate hands." When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed. "Arya has the hands of a blacksmith."

"You're a good girl, Sansa, but I do vow, when it comes to that creature you're as willful as your sister Arya." She scowled.”

I mentioned in 1 that Sansa vaguely calling Arya ugly one time is not enough to cause these specific insecurities that Arya has about being too masculine but the things The Septa says are. The comment about “blacksmith’s hands” does linger in Arya’s mind and is mentioned again but Sansa calling her “ugly and hairy like Hodor” doesn’t:

"(after thinking Catelyn wouldn’t want her back because she’s dirty) I ruined that gown that Lady Smallwood gave me, and I don't sew so good." She chewed her lip. "I don't sew very well, I mean. Septa Mordane used to say I had a blacksmith's hands." - A Storm of Swords, Arya VII

Sansa has also been drip-fed the idea that Arya makes everything worse, that Arya is a terrible person to be like, by the Septa. Sansa didn’t come up with that herself. When one child is scapegoated and the other is put on a pedestal, both children are being abused and the relationship between them is going to be affected.

The Septa makes Arya feel anxious and insecure because of the constant risk of being embarrassed:

“Arya glanced furtively across the room, worried that Septa Mordane might have read her thoughts, but the septa was paying her no attention today.”

“The septa examined the fabric. "Arya, Arya, Arya," she said. "This will not do. This will not do at all." Everyone was looking at her. It was too much.”

Ned and Catelyn are also to blame for doing nothing to stop this. Septa Mordane says Arya has “Blacksmith’s hands” to Catelyn and she doesn’t say anything about it. Sansa, on the other hand, is not to blame because she was a child and did very little to perpetuate that insecurity.

3.) Sansa’s perfectionism

Sansa is assumed to be a perfectly happy and content child both by readers and other characters simply because she’s able to conform and adequately conceal her emotions “Curtesy is a woman’s armor.” but we see several times that Sansa is just as affected by this toxic environment as Arya is.

There are several times when Sansa, like Arya, worries about being embarrassed and shamed:

“Alone and humiliated, Sansa took the long way back to the inn, where she knew Septa Mordane would be waiting. Lady padded quietly by her side. She was almost in tears. All she wanted was for things to be nice and pretty, the way they were in the songs. Why couldn't Arya be sweet and delicate and kind, like Princess Myrcella? She would have liked a sister like that.” - A Game of Thrones, Sansa I

Sansa experiences the same stress and pressure Arya does, every toe out of line is scolded, just because Sansa copes through conformity and Arya through rebellion doesn’t make the trauma any more or less. Sansa is a perfectionist, she genuinely gets anxious and upset when things aren’t as they “should” be. It’s not as simple as Sansa being catty or judgmental, it’s her response to the same pressure Arya has experienced.

Now, that last part is often taken out of context to make Sansa sound awful (like no kid has ever wanted different siblings, come on) but this is after Arya refuses to go see the Queen which is quite immature and forces Sansa to return alone to face all the shame of Arya’s rudeness towards to Queen of all people.

It’s not that Sansa hates Arya, she wants to be close to Arya but feels like she can’t be:

"It is not," Arya said stubbornly. "If you came with us sometimes, you'd see."

"I hate riding," Sansa said fervently. "All it does is get you soiled and dusty and sore."

Arya shrugged.” - A Game of Thrones, Sansa I

Arya does invite Sansa to play with her and Sansa tries to convince Arya to get dressed up and hang out with her, they both want a relationship with their sister but at the expense of what the other enjoys (Sansa wants Arya to be like Myrcella, Arya wants Sansa to be like Mycah) and neither of them are willing to compromise and do what the other wants to do.

Why is Sansa not liking to get dirty seen as some grave sin but Arya refusing the invitation of one of the most important people in the world because she’d rather go play a heroic virtue? I’m not saying Arya is terrible, I’m saying they are both just normal children who lack the awareness and self-discipline to compromise on their wants or communicate effectively. There is no difference there. There is nothing inherently more virtuous about Arya’s preferences as opposed to Sansa’s especially considering point 4.

4.) Ned’s Favoritism

“...her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father. Sansa kept hoping he would tell Arya to behave herself and act like the highborn lady she was supposed to be, but he never did, he only hugged her and thanked her for the flowers. That just made her worse.” - A Game of Thrones, Sansa I

This moment for example, many people interpret this as Sansa being just a big meanie who wants her sister to be miserable but that’s not true, Sansa specifically has an issue with the fact that their father is rewarding Arya for not doing what both the girls are told they are “supposed to be” doing. And of course that would upset Sansa who tries so hard to do what she’s “supposed to do” and is still constantly lacking meaningful attention.

This also ties into how Sansa doesn’t understand why Arya likes Mycah more than here, Arya “should” like Sansa because Sansa is doing everything to be likable but it’s not enough. Sansa wants to be close to Arya and Ned but doesn’t know how because Ned never makes significant effort to include her, or even learn what Sansa is interested in.

“Just the sight of him was enough to make Sansa feel sick, but Arya seemed to prefer his company to hers.” - A Game of Thrones, Sansa I

Sansa doesn’t understand why even though she does everything that everyone around her is telling her to do, it’s still people that are doing what she’s scolded for that are rewarded. Sansa barely has the ability to correct the Septa about her direwolf, and when she does she gets scolded and shamed excessively, but Arya gets to run around the woods and do whatever she wants while still being the favorite? That’s not entirely accurate, just like Arya’s perceptive isn’t, but it is Sansa’s perspective.

Sidenote: Is sansa being classist to Mycah? Yeah, a little, but I’m not holding a sheltered 11 y/o accountable for her ignorance. That is all Ned and Catelyn’s responsibility. And to be honest, this is a time when baths were a luxury so I’m sure the smell of someone who worked with raw meat and rarely bathed would be quite overwhelming to someone who has never been around people who couldn’t bathe regularly. Sansa doesn’t have the awareness to understand that Mycah doesn’t have the same luxuries she does so of course to her she’s going to just think “oh, he’s gross” because she’s just a kid who doesn’t understand.

Back to Ned’s favoritism though, so much of the fandom acts like Arya is just inherently a better person than Sansa because she talks to Smallfolk and doesn’t trust the Lannisters etc. but Arya didn’t just start doing those things on her own. Her father sat Arya down and explained these things to her, but Ned never bothered to do that with Sansa. A child can hardly be blamed for not knowing things that her own parents never bothered to teach her.

Sidenote: Before you say it, no, Sansa is NOT Catelyn’s favorite. Bran is Catelyn’s favorite as she explicitly states followed by the rest of her sons. Catelyn has a very superficial relationship with Sansa that is not at all equivalent to Ned and Arya’s. And even if Sansa were Catelyn’s favorite, Ned should still have given Sansa the same tools and lessons he gave Arya. Ned and Catelyn chose to leave Sansa unprepared and sheltered, that’s not Sansa’s fault.

4.) Defending Joffrey

"Stop it!" Arya screamed. She grabbed up her fallen stick.

Sansa was afraid. "Arya, you stay out of this." - A Game of Thrones, Sansa I

The idea that Sansa liked, or was even okay with, what Joffrey was doing to Mycah is pure fanon. Sansa told Arya to not get involved because she was afraid and in Sansa’s experience, being passive and not angering those with power is what works. She isn’t saying “Arya don’t interrupt, I’m enjoying the show” NO, she’s saying “Arya, I’m scared, please don’t escalate the situation.”

And, frankly...Sansa was right. The situation was made worse by Arya attacking Joffrey. I absolutely do NOT blame Arya for that, I completely understand why she did and, just like Sansa, Arya was a child who was not prepared to deal with the situation and did what she thought was right. But the situation was made worse by fighting the authority (the Lannisters) so of course it makes sense that Sansa would choose to submit to them later on and lie about what she saw.

Not only was Sansa a child (one who is particularly anxious about authority figures and has been taught all her life to be submissive) who was being dogpiled by the most powerful adults in the world and had no right option, Sansa actually made the least-wrong choice by lying about Arya.

If Sansa had told the truth, do you really think Cersei f*cking Lannister, The Queen of Reasonable, would have been like “Oh, okay then, I guess it was Joffrey’s fault.” OF COURSE NOT! Sansa lying or not made no difference because Cersei is a vengeful crazy person who will always Joffrey as the victim. In fact, Cersei had already sent The Hound to kill Mycah before Sansa said anything because if she hadn’t then Sandor wouldn’t have already been there with the body by the time Ned went outside to kill Lady.

Mycah and a direwolf were going to die for what had already happened to Joffrey regardless of what Sansa said, she could never have saved them. There is no universe in which Cersei would have given up her vengeance (the thing she basically lives and breathes for) for the word of a kid she hates. What Sansa did stopped Cersei from taking further revenge. If Sansa has told the truth, it only would have put her and her family in more danger.

So, clearly Sansa was right to lie there but what about later on when Sansa defends Joffrey? What a lot of people don’t understand is that Sansa was being abused before Joffrey ever ordered his guards to beat her and before Ned’s death. Joffrey was already using love bombing on Sansa, he already had her trapped in King’s Landing where the Lannisters have even more power than they did at Winterfell, and the two of them were already in a cycle of abuse:

“And Joffrey was the soul of courtesy. He talked to Sansa all night, showering her with compliments, making her laugh, sharing little bits of court gossip, explaining Moon Boy's japes. Sansa was so captivated that she quite forgot all her courtesies and ignored Septa Mordane, seated to her left...”

...5 seconds later...

“Sansa started as Joffrey laid his hand on her arm. "It grows late," the prince said. He had a queer look on his face, as if he were not seeing her at all.” - A Game of Thrones, Sansa II

Joffrey spends the whole meal showering Sansa in affection and attention, which is something she has been lacking the rest of the book, and then suddenly acts like he doesn’t see her and sends her off with The Hound (who proceeds to manhandle her, belittle her, and threaten her life bc that’s what he does).

This is just one of many examples of how Sansa is already trapped in this abusive cycle. There are numerous adults who fall for the manipulation that Joffrey is already using on Sansa, who have defended their abuser because they are afraid to admit what’s really happening and therefore have to face the monumentally terrifying task of leaving. It’s hardly a fair argument to blame a literal child, who couldn’t up and walk away from the Lannisters if she wanted to, for finding a way to rationalize her abuser’s actions.

If Sansa admits what Joffrey is, that means that now she is stuck with someone who doesn’t care about her at all and is only a threat to her. Sansa couldn’t survive that. She has to compartmentalize, it has to be The Hound who killed Mycah not Joffrey and, later on, Sansa continues to compartmentalize abusers’ good moments from their abuse to survive. Because it she doesn’t have a Prince in Joffrey, a protector in The Hound, a friend in Littlefinger...then she has nothing and she’s alone and that is too terrifying for her to handle.

So, yes, Sansa continues to defend Joffrey even to Arya and I completely understand why that is so hard for Arya but it’s the only thing Sansa can do to survive.

5.) Sansa and Arya are important to each other

Regardless of whether or not you agree with my analysis of the Sansa/Arya rivalry, there’s no denying that Sansa and Arya love each other. Their relationship was not all rivalry and disagreements:

Sansa covers for Arya to Septa Mordane:

“"She wasn't hungry," Sansa said, knowing full well that her sister had probably stolen down to the kitchen hours ago and wheedled a breakfast out of some cook's boy.” - A Game of Thrones, Sansa I

Arya and Sansa played in the snow (and Arya checked to make sure Sansa was okay when she fell down):

“(Arya and Bran) each had a dozen snowballs to hand, and (Sansa) had none. Bran had been perched on the roof of the covered bridge, out of reach, but Sansa had chased Arya through the stables and around the kitchen until both of them were breathless. She might even have caught her, but she'd slipped on some ice. Her sister came back to see if she was hurt. When she said she wasn't, Arya hit her in the face with another snowball, but Sansa grabbed her leg and pulled her down and was rubbing snow in her hair when Jory came along and pulled them apart, laughing.” - A Storm of Swords, Sansa VII

Arya stops wishing for King’s Landing to wash away because even right after Ned’s death, she can’t stand the thought of Sansa dying:

“She wished the Rush would rise and wash the whole city away, Flea Bottom and the Red Keep and the Great Sept and everything, and everyone too, especially Prince Joffrey and his mother. But she knew it wouldn't, and anyhow Sansa was still in the city and would wash away too. When she remembered that, Arya decided to wish for Winterfell instead.��� - A Clash of Kings, Arya I

Sansa wants a kid like Arya (showing she’s moved past the biases Septa and others put in here):

“If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon, and raise them all to be as valiant as Ser Loras. And to hate Lannisters, too. In Sansa's dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya.” - A Storm of Swords, Sansa II

And there’s literally so many examples of both of them wanting to go home to their family (including each other) that I don’t even need to include that. Their mutual arcs are all about wanting to bring the pack together and as Ned said:

"Let me tell you something about wolves, child. When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. Summer is the time for squabbles. In winter, we must protect one another, keep each other warm, share our strengths...Sansa is your sister. You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts. You need her, as she needs you...and I need both of you, Gods help me.”

[therealwokemama]

God this world is so fucked. I'm getting sick and tired of trans people. I've been so accepting and like yeah you do you whatever makes you feel good.

But now these fucking lunatics want to take away everything that gives a natural born women any value in society. (Child birth and breastfeeding) like holy fuck. Your not a natural born woman. THATS OK.

Stop trying to take away shit from the most oppressed group of people since the dawn of time.

Legit only until RECENTLY our only value seen by anyone is that we give birth. Your diminishing the most beautiful thing about a natural born woman. I get it you fucking upset you born in wrong body... but you can't change biology, and how fucking rude of you to demand we support you and then try and take away every little thing that makes a natural woman a woman...

Like holy fuck this world is ass backwards!! They cancelled fucking JK Rowling for SPITTING FACTS.

She's transphobic because what? She made comments about BIOLOGY?

Y'all so pressed about science when it comes to vaccines. But then deny science when it comes to BIOLOGY. Yes gender is a social construct, some people are more fem or masculine, but like Jesus Christ stop fucking bitching about SCIENCE.

Oh and then hardcore LEFT is so pro choice about abortion and other medical procedures... UNTIL it's about vaccines?!?

No hunny you can't have one or the other. You want medical freedom to do whatever you want, fine cool me too. But that DOES NOT EXCLUDE the freedom to choose if you want to be injected with straight up CHEMICALS and foreign DNA from animals and aborted fetuses. Same reason I distanced myself from anti/ex vaccine people.. They are against abortion, but wanted medical freedom. You can't have one or the other they fall into same category. It’s all medical freedom you cannot pick and choose. Oh and incase someone does come across my journal. I am against mandatory vaccines... what you choose to do for you and your family is 100% your CHOICE. I am pro choice. I vaccinated my son and he had reactions so we stopped. Therefore I’m an ex vaxxer... I believe vaccines have a role to play in medical industry, but I also know that current vaccine schedule has never been tested for safety and they’ve gone from 3-10 in childhood to 50+ I advocate for safer vaccines and freedom to choose. Vaccines are no different than your prescription. If your perscription gives you negative side affects your doctor will take you off it and try a different one. Everyone has different reactions and everyone is different. Therefore no medical procedure should ever be mandatory. One size does not fit all. And also before someone says I believe vaccines cause autism. No I do not. I believe vaccines can and are known to cause brain damage in some people. I myself fall into neurological diverse category. I also think it’s extremely cruel to diminish any mothers negative experience with vaccines. SIDS is linked to vaccines. You think a mother who wakes up and looses her child 24 hours after vaccination is following whats her face? McCarthy? Whatever her name is. No that mother woke up to tragedy and logical connecting of the dots and intuition told her that’s what happened. Maybe she’s wrong.. but what if she’s right? It’s wrong to be so cruel to someone who is grieving the loss of her child and doesn’t want anyone else to go through that pain. What about the mother that one day her child is happy healthy, then goes for her child’s shots and within days the child has severe reaction, having epileptic episodes, brain damage... or the mother that was more fortunate and her child only has mild reactions but still has to be on medication for rest of their life? Most of these people if you just speak to them about their grief you would have more compassion. But instead you run at them with pitch forks because something tragic that happened and they are just trying to share their story. ALSO in what world do we give a medical product full IMUNITY from any LIABILITY??? Every medication in the market can face lawsuit in the event of a severe reaction. But vaccines are exempt?

World is stop fucking stupid.

These idiots keep giving into the division... it's illegal to be straight, illegal to be white, like holy fuck.

Legit the word slaves came from SLAVIC because Ottoman Empire enslaved Ukrainian, Polish, and other Slavic people... but oh that's not talked about because that doesn't help their current narrative.

We fucking get it. Black people are heavily oppressed in USA, and systematic racism exists.

Canada it's the natives. Yes we need to fight those atrocities. We need to fix these issues. But your NEVER going to get respect and fix these issues if your goal is revenge?

Jewish people were heavily persecuted against, they could argue that oh all Germans and polish people are bad. But they don't why? Because so many fucking Germans/polish people risked their lives to rescue them and get them safely out of the countries. SAME FUCKING THING WITH BLACK FOLK. Some really good white people were like NOPE this isn't ok, and found ways to sneak slaves up North and into Canada.

Just because someone is fucking white doesn't mean they are racist, have ill Will against you. Yes bad white people exist. But that goes for your race too. No one is exempt from shitty fucking people. Every time news reports they caught sex traffickers 9/10 it's fucking black/brown dudes. So what should I now go around saying all POC are sex traffickers beware? Or by your logic, if all white people are racist, then all Muslim people are terrorists right? Fucking stupid. You can't believe one way but exclude other shit and facts.

I'm so sick of the LEFT VS RIGHT SHIT. Your both fucking imbeciles and the world will never ever get better if the divide continues. At this point history will continue to repeat itself

[loudlytransparenttrash]

This Week Within Our Colleges: Part 22

Students at George Mason University spent days protesting the hiring of Brett Kavanaugh as a visiting law professor at GMU’s Law School. Some students complained to campus leaders, telling them students’ mental health is threatened by the Kavanaugh hire, despite the Law School being located 3,500 miles away from the university. “This decision has really impacted me negatively. It is affecting my mental health knowing that an abuser will be part of our faculty.” Another female student gave similar comments to the board, “As someone who has survived sexual assault three times I do not feel comfortable with someone who has sexual assault allegations like walking on campus.” A third female student told the board, “we are fighting to eradicate sexual violence on this campus. But the hiring of Kavanaugh threatens the mental well being of all survivors on this campus.” The next day, students marched around campus chanting “kick Kavanaugh off campus” and holding “cancel Kavanaugh” signs while some stuck blue tape over their mouths.

University of Colorado Denver brought back a 2016 course, “Problematizing Whiteness: Educating for Racial Justice.” Students will learn “the plight of people of color and how white people are complicit.” The course details explains, “The study of whiteness has always sought to challenge racism, racial privilege, white supremacy, and colorblind racism. However, to overindulge in the spectacle of ‘white racial epiphanies’ overlooks the ongoing work whites must do to participate in racial justice. Beyond the feel-good of momentary White racial awareness lurk enormous concerns about how to continually examine Whiteness in order to uphold antiracism, moreover the fruition of a more racially just society.” It also, understandably, tells students that recording any of the lecture is forbidden.

A State University of New York College at Old Westbury professor wrote an article which he states it makes him happy when he sees poor white people on the street begging for food and often wonders how hard he should kick them in the head. “White people begging us for food feels like justice. It feels like Afro-Futurism after America falls. It feels like a Black Nationalist wet dream. It has the feels I rarely feel, a hunger for historical vengeance satisfied so well I rub my belly.” White people, he says, are a Rorschach test: “I see in them the history of colonization, slavery and mass incarceration that makes their begging Black people for money ironic - if not insulting. You wasted your whiteness! Why should we give to you?” The professor admits that this isn’t a “good look,” however, when he thinks about Martin Luther King Jr.’s “be thy best self” and “show compassion to those who spite you,” he retorts “go f**k another secretary Martin!” 

A University of Utah student reported her business professor to campus administrators for assigning too many books written by male economists and philosophers. “Many of these figures are of great importance. But at what cost do we continue to plant the seed of sexism in the minds of individuals? But especially in a course and college that is already deemed to be a ‘boys club,’ continuing those teachings, and those teachings being delivered by a professor of his character is dangerous.” The student also took issue in her bias report about a joke the professor made about how, “while all our jobs will be taken by robots,” he will be “retired living in Tahiti surrounded by 40-45 beautiful women feeding him grapes.” The student complained, “Not only did the professor willingly and openly objectify women, but he also objectified women of color. Women of another culture.”

University of Texas at Austin freshmen were threatened to be doxed if they considered joining the Young Conservatives of Texas or Turning Point USA. “Hey #UT23! Do you wanna be famous? If you join YCT or Turning Point USA, you just might be. Your name and more could end up on an article like one of these,” the tweet said, linking to previous doxing posts of conservative students at the school. “So be sure to make smart choices at #UTOrientation.” They went on to encourage other students, “if you begin to spot the young racists trying to join YCT or TPUSA, send us a tip so we can keep our reports up to date.” The anarchist student network have already released extensive personal information of pro-Brett Kavanaugh demonstrators at UT Austin, including their names, photos and contact information. It went so far as to post some of the phone numbers of the employers of students and urged them to be fired.

Webster University offered its white faculty and staff a chance to “witness their whiteness” in a program that seeks to eliminate racism. According to the event description, Witnessing Whiteness is about “white people voluntarily coming together to do work around racism in a supportive, non-threatening setting.” It’s also about “learning to speak about race and racism, exploring white privilege, and practicing allying with sisters and brothers of color.” White attendees also were taught how to commit to positive change in their lives, workplace and region and understand and practice interrupting racism and developing skills to act as agents of change.

University of North Georgia hosted several "safe zone trainings" to make the school a “safer, more inclusive environment for members of the LGBTQ+ community.” Students were given handouts which featured a ‘gender unicorn’ cartoon and encouraged attendees to use “LGBTQ-Inclusive Language” by giving them a list of “Dos and Don'ts.” They asked students to not use words such as “mailman” and “ladies and gentlemen” or phrases such as “both genders” and “opposite sexes,” instead suggesting that they use “all genders.” Attendees were also shown a YouTube video from Franchesca Ramsey called “5 Tips For Being An Ally,” which instructed them to understand their privilege.

Middlebury College were forced to soothe upset and angry students after Polish conservative scholar and politician Ryszard Legutko was invited to speak on campus about totalitarian temptations within liberal democracies. Ironically, the school canceled the lecture just hours beforehand after some students complained, then later held a reflection meeting with the student protestors, where administrators told them, “I hear you, and you should be outraged, and we should acknowledge that and apologize, because that’s the least we can do right now, because we can’t make it right in the moment. But in the future we will do everything we can to make it right.” As the safe space meeting was going on, unbeknown to the protesters, a political science professor allowed Legutko to be ushered into his classroom and address students in secrecy. 

At University of Texas at Austin, a pro-life speaker’s event was disrupted after someone set off a smoke bomb, triggering the building’s fire alarm and forcing attendees to be evacuated. The event went forward in another building.

A Canadian University of New Brunswick professor said he is in favor of taking a variety of actions against “white supremacists” who speak on campus, including publicly shaming them, firing them from their jobs and driving them from restaurants. What’s concerning about this is the professor’s definition of white supremacists. He said the "Make America Great Again" hats will carry the same shame as the uniforms worn by the Ku Klux Klan. “Every time I watch a documentary about the civil rights movement and all the hateful violence they faced, I wonder what the white people who were doing those horrible things were thinking... We are living in an era with Donald Trump and the Republican Party and the right-wing movement in America where things of similar gravity are happening. The entire sentiment of 'Make America Great Again' implies that there was a time when America was great and it's not any longer... America for Trump and his supporters is no longer great because black people have too many rights or there are too many women in the workplace."

A City University of New York professor was interviewed on radio where she stated the “ideology of racialized terrorism” is the responsibility of every white person in the United States. She criticized America for building "mental health hospital beds for white home-grown terrorists, but concentration camps and high-level security prisons for Black, and Black and Brown immigrants.” She goes on to wonder why we pay tribute every September 11 to “the pillars of American capitalism,” but never to “the young Black and Brown” victims. She also claims she's suffered in capitalist America after being designated a “other, non-white" on her arrival into the country and "white America has damned this democracy into the hands of white terrorists.” 

A University of Arizona student live-streamed herself on Facebook harassing two Border Patrol agents who were giving a lecture to Criminal Justice students. The female student stood near the door of the room, zooming in on the officers repeatedly while calling them murderers and saying they were an extension of the KKK on campus. “They allow murderers to be on campus where I pay to be here. Murderers!” In the second part of the video, the student follows the Border Patrol agents to their vehicle, repeating the phrase “Murder Patrol!” and also yelling at them in Spanish. At the end of the video, she films a protest apparently against the appearance of the officers. The student also launched into a rant about the “white woman” who attempted to talk to her. 

Gonzaga University’s Women and Gender Studies and Native American Studies departments hosted a screening and discussion about Disney’s film, Moana, titled, "Is Moana about rape?" According to the flyer, the professor behind the lesson discussed how Western patriarchy and masculinity attack “the feminine,” indigenous cultures, and the environment and nature. “Layne will ultimately also suggest that the film is Neocolonialist. It excuses Western culture from oppressing women, degrading the environment and erasing/murdering indigenous people,” the flyer says. It also came with a trigger warning, stating that racism, sexual assault, genocide and colonialism will be addressed.

Tufts University decided to remove a historical mural after students complained that the paintings depicting only white people eroded the school’s commitment to diversity and inclusion. The Alumnae Lounge mural, which depicts “the great names of men” of the school’s history, does not include “a single image of a person of color" which has lead students to complain that “they don’t want to receive awards in Alumnae Lounge because they feel excluded.” Tufts Senior Vice President said. “We want to attract a diversity of people to the university. But no less important, when they arrive, we want them to feel they belong here.” Tufts Africana Center Director applauded the decision, saying “the murals create an unwelcoming space for current students of color.”

Also at Gozaga University, an assistant professor wrote an op-ed where he blasted one of his white law students and accused him of deliberate “racial antagonism” because the student wore a MAGA hat to class. Without naming the student, the assistant professor wrote, “From my perspective as a black man living in the increasingly polarized political climate that is America, MAGA is an undeniable symbol of white supremacy and hatred toward certain nonwhite groups. I was unsure whether the student was directing a hateful message toward me or if he merely lacked decorum and was oblivious to how his hat might be interpreted by his black law professor. I presumed it was the former. As the student sat there directly in front of me, his shiny red MAGA hat was like a siren spewing derogatory racial obscenities at me for the duration of the one hour and fifteen-minute class. As my blood boiled inwardly, I jokingly told the student, ‘I like your hat.’ Without missing a beat, the student mockingly grinned from ear to ear and said, ‘Thank you.’” The professor concluded by arguing that “‘making America great again’ suggests a return to the days when women and people of color were denied access to these very institutions.”

A George Mason University assistant professor took to Twitter to ask white parents across America: “Why are you producing so many young white male terrorists?” “What is going on in your households? How involved are you with your sons? Are you missing signs their racism is filtering out of commonplace household racism into ‘I want to murder strangers’ racism?” She followed up with a reply to the white parents declaring their devotion to making sure their child isn’t a white terrorist, “I appreciate the testimonials of white parents doing the work of raising anti racist children. You give me a bit of hope.” 

The University of Michigan revamped its already transgender-friendly student health plan to include more services on top of sex-change operations. The school already covers mastectomies, genital surgeries, hormone therapy and counseling for transgender students. These plans now also accommodate “facial feminization surgeries,” as well as facial hair removal and “Adam’s apple reduction.” Another addition is “fertility preservation” for transgender students whose transition efforts result in infertility.

A Massachusetts school superintendent told a community audience that white people in our “systematically corrupt system that oppresses black individuals” need to “rewire their brains” in order to overcome their biases. The Pittsfield Public Schools chief (who is white) also blasted Trump, blaming the president's “daily hate” for the rise in racism and hatred on a national level. The event was planned to announce the implementation of African American history courses in local high schools. The course will delve into African American oppression and plans on stopping the normalization of seeing “black people being beaten on TV.” A teacher who worked on the curricula design at the schools said her eyes had been opened after participating in implicit bias training and reading the book "Waking Up White." 

Hofstra University students protested a statue of Thomas Jefferson at an annual event, titled “Jefferson Has Gotta Go!” which was co-organized by local Planned Parenthood staff. For the past few years, students have defaced the statue with “DECOLONIZE” and “Black Lives Matter” in an attempt to pressure the university president to join the long list of schools removing or covering up “traumatizing” statues and artwork. So far, the statue remains. 

An academic conference in Toronto focused on “Critical Becky Studies,” with multiple professors and faculty from American universities participating. “This session aims to characterize ‘Becky,’ a term specific to white women who engage whiteness, often in gendered ways,” the session description states. “Explorations of Becky and implications of educational practice from a variety of perspectives and contexts will illuminate the dynamics of power, privilege, and oppression tied to the gendered and raced mechanisms of whiteness enacted by Becky,” says the session description. Another paper discussed in the panel was titled “Border Becky: Exploring White Women's Emotionality, Ignorance, and Investment in Whiteness.” According to the description, the paper focuses on white women who must undergo a battle in order to extract themselves “from the white supremacist alliance.” 

At University of South Dakota, a planned ‘Hawaiian Day’ themed event had to be changed to ‘Beach Day,’ due to a cultural appropriation complaint from a single student. The student group planning the party were told to make the name change and to ban handing out leis as it violates the school's policy on inclusiveness. The group posted, “It was determined that these (leis) are culturally insensitive by the administration after doing research based off of the essay written by the initial complainant.” 

Williams College student activists demanded the Board of Trustees "commit to a complete process of reparation and reconciliation to indigenous peoples." The open letter states, “Many junior faculty of color are considering medical leave due to the unmitigating stress of living in an unsupportive and callous environment and to avoid the emotional detriment of existing here.” The students then demanded a “complete process of reparation and reconciliation” to the indigenous peoples, “approve a request of $34,000 as well as the increase of $15,000 additional funding for incoming Minority Coalition groups.” ”Offer free weekend shuttles for faculty and staff" and provide separate housing for black and queer students, as well as for all other marginalized groups. Lastly, “hire more therapists, especially trans and racial minority therapists.”

Dominican University in California has added a new major, wholly focused on social justice. The school created the major after a “growing number” of students became interested in social justice “careers,” according to the university news release. Students who major in social justice will have the chance to “examine the links between well-being, social justice, and diverse worldviews.” Additionally, students will “analyze social injustices and work toward positive social change.”

The State University of New York-Plattsburgh offered students the chance to de-stress with therapy donkeys during their Wellness Fair.