#utter silliness

[yanderenightmare]

Why don’t you post smut anymore? Not to be rude, but isn’t that what we follow you for? we followed you for fics like reunion and others but now your recent fics are just initiating it you don’t write about it you stop as soon as the clothes are off. I think you’re taking leaving it to the imagination a little bit too literally

sorry. I'd forgotten I pledged my soul as a writer to smut and smut alone.

hilarious tho. as if I'm beholden to any expectations you might have of me. as if your lack of imagination is my problem. if all you follow me for is smut, you can go watch porn instead.

also, saying "not to be rude" doesn't make you any less rude. spread your hate with a pair of balls at least.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Angel Dust: “D’ya ever get a weird feelin’ about this place?”

Husk: “Yeah. Sweet an sickening. Like fucking syrup.”

Angel Dust: “NEVER fuck usin’ syrup UGH.”

Niffty: “I think the floor right under the second story banister railings feels weirdest! Almost bouncy when you SMASH into it!”

Angel Dust: “Not what I meant, NFT. It’s more like-”

SOMETHING: (blurs past the open door behind them)

Door: (...crreeeeks softly on it’s hinges...)

Them: (turns and stare)

Angel Dust: “…it’s like, a cold draft, innit?”

Husk: (spooked) (fur fluffed) “Cheap as fuck place. Run down.”

Niffty: “Prime roach real estate!”

Angel Dust: “Unsettlin’. The word I’m lookin’ for is, unsettlin’.”

EYES: (blink open and glow in the shadowy corner above them.)

Angel Dust: “Creepy, even.”

EYES: (rotate 360 degrees) (still staring)

Angel Dust: “I dunno. Don’t ya just get the shivers sometimes in here? Brr.” (shudders)

Husk: “Guess the eternal pep can be kinda fucked up from the owner. No one in hell is really that fucking happy all the fucking time.”

Niffty: “I AM!!!”

Husk: “No one who’s not fucking Niffty is that happy in hell.”

Niffty: “I LOVE it here. You only got to die ONCE back in the living world.”

Angel Dust: “Once should be enough for anyone, Niffters.”

Niffty: (giggling) “Not for me! Not when it's comes to eating spiders.”

Husk: “Oh FUCK that-”

Niffty: “Think the thing watching us right now also eats spiders?”

Husk: “…”

Angel Dust: “…”

EYES: (blink) (vanish)

The Three of Them: (turn and stare)

Angel Dust: “….Husker? Any room in ya bed for guy who doesn’t wanna be alone tonight?”

Husk: “Fuck no. Anyone tries getting in my room tonight is being served a motherfucking Molotov cocktail on the house.”

Angel Dust: “I can make it worth ya while. Tire us both out so’s maybe we can get some actual sleep.”

Husk: “You think I’m gonna fucking sleep?”

Niffty: “Sometimes I eat the spiders in my sleep…”

Husk: “Niffty, I need you fucking shut up talking in that creepy little girl voice.”

Niffty: “Okay! But whyyyy~?”

Husk: “THAT’S fucking WHY.”

Angel Dust: “-shh! SHH SHHHH! D’ya hear that!?”

Husk: “Wh- don’t fucking touch me-”

Angel Dust: (strangling him a little with holding) “Husk holy shit!”

Husk: (claws out) (super floofed) “What? WHAT??”

Niffty: “Ohhh…..”

Angel Dust: “It’s COMIN’!”

Niffty: “Nooo it’s naaaw-auuuught~”

Husk: “WELL WHICH THE FUCK IS IT-!?”

Niffty: “It’s Here~”

SOMETHING: (drops in from the open window)

Them: (SCREAM)

Vaggie: “Have you guys seen- Stop screaming it’s just me- have any of you seen Charlie around?”

Husk: “FUCK! FUCK!!!”

Angel Dust: “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, MISS I CUNT USE THE FREAKING DOORS!”

Husk: “FUUUCK ME FUCK YOU FUCK ALL OF THIS-”

Niffty: “Aww.” (slumps) “Hi Vaggie….”

Vaggie: “Yeah hey… What’s got into you all?”

Angel Dust: “Into US? YoU-”

Niffty: “We’ve been terrified. It’s been fun!”

Husk: “YOUR FUCKING SHIT HOTEL IS FUCKING HAUNTED! Shit!”

Angel Dust: “You and ya rich girlfriend have hell’s worst unpaying guest creepin’ around, and ya wonder what’s up with US?!?!”

Vaggie: “Oh. So you have seen her.”

Niffty: “Ohhh…! It’s a her!”

Angel Dust: “HER WHO WHO HER YOU KNOW THE WHORE OF HAUNTING?”

Vaggie: “Sure. And don’t fucking call her that.”

Husk: “I don’t wanna fucking know I don’t wanna fucking know I don’t wanna I don’t wanna no no no fuck NO-”

Vaggie: (rolls eye)

Vaggie: “Sweetie? Can you stop with the friendship notes and come out now?”

Something: (from shadows) “I’m bi!”

Vaggie: (smiles) “Out in the open where they can see you, babe.”

Charlie: “Aww, Vaggieeee…” (slips out of shadows with notebook and pout) “You’re messing with the sterile observed conditions and data collection. They were bonding!”

Angel Dust: “TOOTS!?”

Husk: “Oh.. fuck… you.”

Vaggie: “They sure were clinging to each other at least.”

Husk: “Fuck you MORE I fucking wasn’t.”

Angel Dust: “TOOTS I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE!”

Vaggie: “Weren’t stopping him from climbing you like a tree though, were you?”

Charlie: “Sorry about that, Angel Dust. I just got so excited-”

Husk: “Get. Fucked.”

Vaggie: “My girlfriend takes care of that already thanks.”

Angel Dust: “EXCITED? To be stalkin’ a guy like he’s a freaking gazelle on a shitty nature doc that skips all the fucking an’ only shows the non-sexy rippin’ an tearin’ an eatin’ alive bits!?”

Charlie: “Well-”

Niffty: “Hi Charlie! Were you watching us like bugs in a bug trap? Right before they get SQUISHED?”

Charlie: “-um no. No I wasn’t-”

Niffty: “Awww why nooooooooot?”

Charlie: “I wasn’t... trying to?”

Husk: “Oh that’s not fucking terrifying to fucking hear.”

Angel Dust: “TRY HARDER NOT TO NEXT TIME! Ugh! I’m too shaky to even make a hardness pun- AND I think this gave me STRESS WRINKLES. I WORK WITH THIS FACE! Among other body parts- I cannot fucking AFFORD wrinkles, Charmeleon!”

Charlie: “Aw guys I’m sorry! I just saw you three chatting together and.” (waves notebook) “Y’know?”

Vaggie: “I know, babe.”

Angel Dust: “NO!?”

Husk: “Fuck. No.”

Niffty: “Nope! I would’ve gone STRAIGHT into hunt and kill mode!”

Husk: “Which is what it fucking FELT like you fucking did.”

Charlie: “Ooookay then, my bad. But! You all feel better now you know it was just me, right?”

Them: “….”

Charlie: “B- because you know I’d never actually hunt any of your through the halls of my hotel. Right?”

Them: “……”

Charlie: “…you, you guys know you’re safe here and I didn’t bring you here for some fucked up creepy personal murder torture reason… right…?”

Them: “……….”

Niffty: (raises hand) “I-”

Charlie: “NIFFTY THANK YOU!! See? She believes-”

Niffty: “I felt really GREAT thinking you were hunting me for sport! Can I go back to thinking that?”

Charlie: “-that, you, oh. No that’s-” (droops) “…sure … whatever makes you happy, Niffty.”

Niffty: “YAY FEAR!” (hugs Charlie’s knees) (skitters away)

Angel Dust: “Oh yippie. Getting’ high off my ass and blackin’ all this out from my memory will make ME happy.” (flounces off) “Sweet dreams, toots! I sure as hell won’t be havin’ ‘em!”

Charlie: “I’m sor-”

Husk: “Anyone fucking needs me, don’t.”

Charlie: “Husk, I really-”

Husk: (already gone)  

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “….. fuck.”

Vaggie: “It’ll be fine.” (pats Charlie gently) “Don’t freak out about it. They’re just, shook up.”

Charlie: (tired) “Except Niffty.”

Vaggie: “Niffty’s uhhh, she seems like the exception to most things yeah.”

Charlie: “She likes being scared of me.”

Vaggie: “Well. Thrilled? By you? I mean she gets her kicks out of it, so…”

Charlie: “I don’t like being scary.”

Vaggie: “You’re not.”

Charlie: “I scared them.”

Vaggie: “Startled and creeped out a little. It’s not the same thing.”

Charlie: “Isn’t it? I’m- I hate that I'm-”

Vaggie: “No.”

Charlie: “Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “You. Are. Not.”

Charlie: “But-”

Vaggie: (takes hand) “You’re a lot of things, Charlie Morningstar. Sometimes you’re a lot of those lot of things- which I love-”

Charlie: “Heh.”

Vaggie: “But being scary just by existing? Isn’t one of them. You can be you, all the way, the whole demon princess Charlie package- and not scare anyone. I promise."

Charlie: "Tell that to my ex..."

Vaggie: "I'll carve it into his stupid fucking skull- kidding! I'm kidding."

Charlie: "I'd believe that more if you hadn't already tried."

Vaggie: "Well believe me NOW when I'm trying to say- You can get scary when someone you love is hurt or threatened, sure. That's, not a bad thing. There's nothing about you that you need to hide to have people in your life. Living with you, every part of you, is great."

Charlie: "....."

Vaggie: "Charlie c'mon- I should know. If we’re talking observed data and stuff, I’ve already got three years of it. Right?”     

Charlie: “…right.” (weak smile) “I did it again though, didn’t I?”

Vaggie: “What, the intensely following around someone you’ve invited into your home trying to figure out how to make them feel more comfortable without bothering them or spooking them, working hard not to let them see how you spend hours just staring at them, taking in every little detail you can, but staring so hard they can feel it on the back of their neck anyway?”

Charlie: “And you’re sure that’s not scary. Like at all.”

Vaggie: “I always thought is was cute. Intense and a kinda worrying sign of how alone you’d been, sure, but cute.”

Charlie: “Hmph.”

Vaggie: (leans up to smooch her) “And our hazbins will too. Just give ‘em time.”

Charlie: “Our hazbins?” (grins) “Our? Oh now THAT’S cute.” (opens book and scribbles note) “Today… Vaggie.. bonded with…”

Vaggie: “I did not.”

Charlie: “…OUR- underline underline add some hearts- hazbins!”

Vaggie: “Charlie I didn’t. I barely even spoke with them.”

Charlie: “You’re comparing them to your past self and making connections between you when we first met and them now, aren’t you. You’re empathizing with them! That’s bonding! That’s ADORABLE!!”  

Vaggie: (sigh) “That’s my cue to drag you off to bed.”

Charlie: “You’re adorable~”

Vaggie: “Says the cute demon lady lovingly stalking her new friends.”

Charlie: “Do you think they’ll be friends with me? I mean I’m friends with them, but-”

Vaggie: “Charlie, they’ve met you. It’s inevitable.”

Charlie: “Heheh. Juuuust like this kiss~”

(smooch)

(smooch some more)

Vaggie: “Whoa there!” (chuckling) “Save it for the bed sweetie, or we’ll never get there.”

Charlie: (giggling) “Sorry. I’m not used to not having everything all to ourselves. And I suppose making out in the public areas wouldn’t be very polite, even in the middle of the night with no one around.”

Vaggie: “Probably. We’ve freaked them out enough for one day I think.”

Charlie: “There are definite downsides to having a hotel with actual other people living in it, huh….”

Vaggie: “Worth it?”

Charlie: “Mm. I hope so. I hope they’ll think so too.”

Vaggie: “They will, babe. They will.”

-Next Night-

-Alastor’s Radio Tower-

Alastor: (humming and happily prepping the next track for broadcast)

SOMETHING: (slowly rises up beyond the window behind him)

Alastor: (ears twitch) (adjust audio balance knob)  

SOMETHING: (presses against window)

Window: (Distinctive flesh-dragging-across-glass sound)

Alastor: (stops)

SOMETHING: (fades into shadows)

Alastor: (turns)

Window: (has smudge mark on it)

Alastor: “….hmm…” (walks over) (wipes window) (smudge stays bc it’s on the outside) “Interesting...”

Alastor: (goes back to disc jockeying)

SOMETHING: (reaches up and drags finger through smudge mark)

Alastor: (stops and turns)

Alastor: “Ohoho? My my my, now isn’t THIS just droll! Who COULD have left a message here for me. On my own radio tower! Smudging my glass! (smirks and walks over) “Hmm? Something dire and THREATENING no doubt? Not something they will REGRET I am SURE ha ha ha!”

Alastor: (bends down to read) “It appears to say…”

Window: (smudge has the word ‘FRIENDS’ written through it)

Alastor: (snaps back upright) (stares) (steps back) (stares harder)

Alastor: “…how… amusing.”

Alastor: (goes back to control panel)

Alastor: “….”

Alastor: (relaxes) (picks up microphone and holds it casually at the ready)

Alastor: (reaches for a record-)

SOMETHING: (slips past window behind him)

Alastor: (turning) (Shrieking) “KKKKSSSSSSSSFKKKSST” (yeets record out through window)

Window: (shatters)

Vaggie: “….”

Vaggie: “….hope that one wasn’t important, pendejo. It’s on the first floor now. In about a hundred pieces.”

Alastor: (lowering microphone) “Oh my dear I DO apologize!” (simpering) (Glowering) “Poor thing. Not hurt, are you? Not frightened at all I hope? Really I don’t know WHAT would have happened if I had happened to HIT you!”

Vaggie: “Me frightened? No.” (tosses cleaning rag over shoulder) “The scary little smudge is gone anyway, so I’m off. Bye.”

Alastor: “Oh delightful! You KNOW ABOUT-”

Vaggie: (gone)

Alastor: “……hmmmmmm….”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “She’s so hot when she’s all ‘doesn’t even blink when something almost would've decapitated her if she hadn’t casually leaned back’ isn’t she?”

Alastor: (shriek is broadcast all over Pentagram city, shattering the remaining windows in his radio tower)

[luminiferocity]

So an unfortunate blur means if you go backwards through NTTD screenshots, it tells a short story of Q finally standing up to Bond's BS.

Bond: Hello, Q; do me a favour?

Q: Actually, Bond... *throws USB drive on the ground* ...I'd rather not

Moneypenny and Bond: 😯 😐

[bliss-wily]

I just love how slice of life-y this feels at times. Just a casual conversation with fellow soldiers. I’m about 90% sure my time patroller would turn her back on the Time Patrol for the Frieza Force, at least that’s how I view her.

But yes…I just love the silliness. Like Cooler is literally there and Monrei and Bliss are having a bitch about the current chef. I just want more content!

Then the prospect of Monrei just trying to get Bliss to ask for Frieza for things? It’s just crack but in verse and it’s fun.

[the-potpourri]

“Rena pussy? Good. Rena balls? Good. Rena cock? Good. Rena tits? Good. Renamon? Good. Support your local renamon today with a hug.”

[follyfallen]

The Situational Comedy of Hope continues

[kagoutiss]

was thinking the other day about how parasites are ganondorf’s solution for so many things. now cant unsee him being a massive nerd about parasites

[redrobin-detective]

My favorite part of my Adventure Time binge is I pick what looks like the most silly episodic episode with a weird title and a plot that seems pretty open and shut and it goes in the most unexpectedly painful and lowkey horrifying direction that leaves me shook. I expected shenanigans and got an existential crisis instead.

[cuubism]

for @magnusbae, as usual 😂

--

“If you relent now, you may be offered a small degree of mercy,” Dream told his captors from where he was sitting cross-legged in the summoning circle. Irritating, to have found himself summoned again. He was going to have to devise better protections against this sort of thing. At least he had his clothes this time, that was a small comfort.

A greater comfort was the certain knowledge that someone was coming for him. Rare, that feeling, and brilliantly warm in its newness.

One of the men sneered down at him. “You aren’t in a position to be talking about mercy, Dream of the Endless.”

His name spoken in such a way sent a prickle up Dream’s spine. The disrespect.

“I speak not of myself,” he said, then fell silent, watching a look of unease flash across his captor’s face, the worried expression he sent to his compatriot. The realization, there, that he meant someone was coming after him, and the fear of what kind of being might be loyal to one such as him.

If only they knew.

“Although,” he continued, “there are a great many fates worse than death in this world. Perhaps death itself will be your mercy.”

They would not enjoy what Dream would do with them when he got out.

They ought to know what they were messing with. They had summoned him as Nightmare, used a spell that called to the darker elements of his nature. But then, human folly knew no bounds.

The men had not contained Dream very well, either. Tonight, when they slept, he should be able to slip into their dreams and compel one of them to break the circle. That was if someone else did not get there first.

Dream hoped someone else got there first.

He felt it was only fair to get a little show in return for his trouble.

The men looked truly unnerved now, but Dream offered no more explanation. Let them stew in what they had wrought. It was satisfying, incredibly satisfying, to watch them shake in it.

--

Dream did not have to wait long for his reckoning.

The door flew open, banging into the wall. Hob stood in the doorway, haloed by the hallway light, one hand grasping a crowbar that Dream knew he usually kept in his car. Dream’s summoners were armed with guns, but Dream was not concerned, and not only because Hob could not die.

“Hello, Hob,” he intoned. The other men looked between the two of them, shocked into inaction.

“Hi, love,” said Hob. His tone was light but the look in his eyes was not. “You alright?”

“I feel deprived of my day off,” Dream complained. “We had plans.”

“Hmm. That we did.”

One of his captors, the one who had scorned his offer of mercy, finally regained his senses enough to raise his weapon. Dream propped his head in his hands to watch.

Some days, Dream wished he could have seen Hob on a proper battlefield, sword in hand, ruthless, brutal efficiency on full display. There was no elegance to the way Hob fought, only experience, instinct, and an utter lack of pretension characteristic of one who had used those skills for illicit gain and survival rather than showmanship. Dream loved every second of it, especially when it was brought to bear for him.

Hob cracked the man across the hand, knocking his gun aside, then smashed him overhand with the crowbar. Dream heard the man’s skull audibly split.

Hob spun for the other, who was scrambling for his gun. Dream watched with disgust. Such amateurs dared to summon him? They knew not what they meddled with.

Hob backhanded the man across the cheek before he could even properly grip his gun, and the man shrieked, falling backwards. Hob turned to Dream. “You wanna…?” He waved a hand as if to indicate plunge him into endless torment.

Dream shook his head. Such sorry excuses for men did not deserve his effort.

Hob shrugged and smashed the man over the head with the crowbar again, not quite killing him but pushing him very close to his sister’s embrace.

Footsteps down the hall, and then two more men burst into the room. One held a cattle prod instead of a gun; Dream could only assume it had been meant for him, and they simply had not found cause to use it yet. Hob’s gaze zeroed in on it, and something dark sharpened in his eyes.

“You’ll regret that, but you won’t have long to do it,” he said, dropping his crowbar as he ducked the man’s lunging blow with the cattle prod to grab him around the back of the neck and knee him in the gut. The man doubled over, gasping, hand spasming as he dropped his weapon. Hob twisted him into a headlock, his arm an iron bar across the man’s throat.

“Next time you mess with beings beyond your understanding,” he growled, “consider that they might have someone waiting at home for them.”

Dream’s breath caught. He watched as the air seeped out of his captor under Hob’s grip until he slumped to the floor. This was all far more satisfying – and attractive – than he’d even anticipated.

He was so caught up in the vicious heroics of it all that he didn’t realize the final co-conspirator had pointed his gun at him until Hob said, very low and very dark, “I wouldn’t.”

Dream looked up at the last man standing, either the smartest or dumbest of the group based on his current antics, depending on which way one looked at it. His hand was shaking where it was pointing the gun at Dream’s chest.

“I’ll kill him!” his captor insisted, voice squeaking up an octave in fear. Was Hob frightening? Dream supposed he was, from that angle. The thought thrilled something in him.

“I wouldn’t,” Hob repeated, the man’s fate should he do so very clear in his voice. A bullet would not kill Dream, of course, but bound as he still was by the summoning circle, it would probably hurt. Besides, it would upset Hob, and that was not acceptable.

The man looked wildly between Dream and Hob as if trying to decide who would be less likely to kill him. At this point, he would probably be better off jumping into the summoning circle with Dream and being consumed by his nightmares. The look on Hob’s face was not charitable.

True to Dream’s supposition, the man swung back around to point his gun at Hob, but hesitated half a second before firing. Hob moved in the space of that hesitation, moved like shadow in a way Dream’s nightmares themselves could learn from, grabbed the man’s arm and forced it up and back so the moment his finger pressed down on the trigger the bullet went right between his eyes.

Blood splattered. The body dropped. Dream didn’t bother to watch; instead, he was watching Hob. The sweat just prickling his brow, the way his chest rose and fell with exertion. The utter steadiness of his hands.

Hob strode over to the circle, brushing through it with his foot, then stepped in to crouch beside Dream. He took Dream’s face between his hands, looking him over with concern. “Are you alright, my love?”

“Quite.” Dream’s lips tipped up in a smile; he leaned into Hob’s hands. “I enjoyed your heroics.”

“Oh?” Hob’s concern fell away, replaced by humor. “Did you?”

“Mm. You were gallant and ruthless.”

“Didn’t think those could go together,” Hob said.

“And full of contradictions,” Dream added, and Hob laughed. Dream rested his hands on Hob’s sides, feeling the rise and fall of his chest. “I believe you may be featuring in some nightmares now. For the ones who are remaining, that is.”

Hob hummed, evidently not upset about it. “Should see yourself.” He traced under Dream’s eye.

Dream had thus far neglected to let his eyes slip back to their more human appearance after the summoning. When he smiled, his teeth felt a bit sharper than usual. “They summoned Nightmare, and Nightmare is what they received.”

Hob kissed his forehead. “Summoned,” he repeated, a banked flame in the word. “Oh, I hope you weren’t scared.”

“They trapped me poorly, I would have escaped as soon as night fell. But failing that…” Dream pressed Hob’s hand to his cheek. “I knew that you would come for me.”

Hob pulled away again to look at him, and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled. There was something in that look, too, beyond fondness. Like he was proud of Dream, almost. “Always.”

He helped Dream to his feet. Dream didn’t need the help, but Hob’s touch was pleasant. He leaned into Hob’s side as Hob rested a hand low on his back.

“You know…” he mused, “it can be quite tiring for one to be summoned.”

Hob looked at him sidelong. “Are you trying to get me to carry you?”

“…If it is on offer.”

Hob sighed heavily. “Suppose it wouldn’t be a proper storybook rescue mission otherwise.”

“Precisely,” Dream agreed.

“You’re a menace,” Hob declared, but obligingly bent and scooped Dream up in his arms. His body was pleasantly warm after the exertion of the fight, and solid as always.

Dream tipped his head against his shoulder, hiding a smile. “Gallant,” he murmured.

They were nearly to the door when there was a fluttering of wings, and Death was standing in the center of the room. She looked from Dream in Hob’s arms, to the bodies scattered on the floor, and back again, an aggrieved expression on her face. “Please tell me this wasn’t elaborate roleplay.”

“It is my understanding that role play should not come with a body count,” Dream told her solemnly, and she shook her head.

“Whatever it is, I’ll leave you to it.” She tipped her head at the bodies. “I have work to do.”

“Sorry,” said Hob, not sounding very sorry.

Death sighed and waved them away, crouching beside one of the collapsed men. She whistled. “You did a number on him.”

“Nobody gets to try to capture Dream anymore,” Hob said, indignant, arm tightening around Dream’s shoulders.

“Quite right,” said Death. She looked up at them again with a small smile. “Take care of him, Hob.”

Dream should have felt more offended by this. But it was hard to care about much when Hob was carrying him so delicately.

“Always will,” said Hob, his tone soft but certain, and Dream pressed his face into his chest.

“You know,” Hob murmured as they left the building and stepped out into the cool evening air, “it could be elaborate roleplay.”

Dream’s lips tipped up in a smile. He leaned back against Hob’s arm to look up at him. “In the Dreaming all things are possible. No permanent bloodshed required.”

Hob smiled down at him, sharp and fond at once. “My thoughts exactly, darling.” 

[aaandbackstabbed]

Scrooge: I’m not that in love with Goldie

Huey: you are doodling your wedding invitations

Scrooge: no, this is our joint tomb stone.

Huey: …my bad

[starry-bi-sky]

I am absolutely loving your Danyal Al Ghul au. While I have a soft spot for the whole plotline of Danny becoming his canon personality almost right after breaking away from the LOA all because of Jazz, I'm just as much for your take in which he goes through the same character development as Damian.

Now I'm curious. You already tackled his relationship with Dani, will you eventually take a stab at when he, Sam, and Tucker meet Gregor? Given that it's one of my hated episodes as I couldn't stand Sam's infuriatingly hypocritical attitude to Danny's suspicions of him, I'd kill to see your spin on it.

Aw, thank you! Danyal Al Ghul aus are what got me into DPDC first, so I have a major soft spot for them. That being said, uh, its exactly that soft spot that causes me to have Many Opinions about the trope you just mentioned. Like the trope is all fine and dandy, i don't blindly hate it, my main issue with it is that most aus i've seen treat his backstory as an ex-assassin more like a pretty cosmetic accessory rather than something that actually should have had an impact on him. Especially if he remembers being in the league.

Like i cannot stress enough the fact that being in an ecofascist assassin cult (regardless of his standing in it) should've left him, in some way or another, screwed up morally and psychologically because that's just how development works. Nature vs. Nurture is like a game of tug-o-war that never ends, where they are constantly fighting against each other and one side usually has the upper hand or greater influence. Children model the behaviors of the adults around them (ex: bobo the clown doll experiment), and what impacts them in childhood can stick with them permanently.

Like how my psychology professor put it: a baby's brain is like wet cement; if you slap your hand on it, it leaves an imprint, and the cement dries that way. The same rings true for small children.

I could go on, but I frankly have so many thoughts on that alone that I would end up completely derailing from the second half of your ask, and I don't want to be more critical than I already have. Especially since you just mentioned you have a soft spot for the trope.

[Okay, hold onto your hats because this is long. Naturally lmao.]

Gregor! Man, I'll admit I last watched the show back in middle school on a dodgy illegal website (it had surprisingly good audio and visual graphics, and full episodes. But really annoying porn ads.) but I only made it to like season 1 before my hyperfixation faded and I lost interest. So I never actually saw the Gregor episode.

But... it is relatively easy to find free websites that stream Danny Phantom :), so finding the episode took me like. Thirty seconds. Plus the Tv.Tropes recap page because my damn earbuds just died and im out in public as of rn.

I'm not sure if I'll write something for the gregor episode like I did with Dani, since Dani's a bit of a special case in that she's a clone and tends to be a reoccurring presence in DPDC, and I thought the new dynamic with Danyal would be interesting.

Plus, I'm not a big amethyst ocean shipper for the pure reason of I'm just not all that interested in it; its kinda bland to me. I'll admit I've entertained the thought in this au due to the whole balcony scene i wrote, but I would've entertained the thought anyways if it was Tucker in that position instead. Big multishipper, me.

But, if I had to make it official? Danyal is not interested romantically in Sam when the Gregor episode happens, regardless of his relationship with Valerie. Who, speaking of I'm trying to think about how that would go, and I'm torn between including him almost-dating Valerie or not.

Because on one hand it helps point out Sam's hypocrisy (and i love her but i am always happy to point out her flaws and address them in au) in this episode in terms of Danny spying on them, but on the other hand I'll want to include a lot of set up in order to make Gray Ghost work in this au and wow will that take a while.

Especially with the Flirting with Disaster episode because it happens due to Technus' meddling, and Danny is, well, the son of the Batman? A trained assassin? An ex-assassin nonetheless, but still an assassin? A prodigy child in this au? He might not have needed to use most of his skills in the last few years, but like... there's just a bunch of 'what if' and 'well technically...' and 'would he? he could, but would he?' things that is getting in the way of my thought process and making my head spin.

.

Mmm. Okay. Flirting with Disaster occurs relatively the same as canon with a few exceptions; like Danyal noticing the strange coincidences, and he might take the idea into proper consideration because Sam has a point it is strange, especially out of nowhere.

However,,, he really enjoys Valerie's company, and he does really like her. He's been adjusting to civilian life for the last four years and while he's made a lot of progress, he's still. an ex-assassin child living like a wolf amongst sheep. This is normal, typical teenager stuff, and usually his friends like to encourage him doing normal teenager stuff.

So he's stubbornly holding out on the thought that this is normal, that ghost stuff isn't interfering here. He's a little hurt that his friends are discouraging this, he's not bothered by the fact that Valerie is a ghost hunter and he a ghost -- his mother is an assassin, and his father is Batman, and they still had a relationship. (Granted, he's not gonna tell them that)

If anything, being diametrically opposed to each other but still being in love is part of the family! Granted, usually both parties are aware of said opposition to each other, but he'll make a special exception this time around.

(And man now that i'm thinking about gray ghost, im now thinking about various like. scenes i could write between the two of them. maybe in a reblog.)

Anyways uhhh things relatively go the same as canon. Yeah. I think Sam still has a crush on Danny and still spies out of jealousy with Tucker.

.

Now, the Gregor episode! With that out of the way; the TVTropes recap for this episode isn't the best because it doesn't go into detail about the entire episode like it does with Flirting With Disaster and Shades of Gray.

(which i looked at earlier because I made a section of this post talking briefly about what changes I'd make to the Shades of Gray episode to help set up Gray Ghost, but ended up deleting because it was kinda irrelevant for the matter at hand.)

So I'm taking in bits of the episode clips at a time, I'll try not to get too nitpicky about how each scene goes because then it's gonna take me a longer time to write this.

But! First thing's first; since Danny is not romantically interested in Sam, he is also not jealous of Gregor. He is however, a bit eyebrow-raisey at him in their first introduction, but that's because Gregor is coming off as obnoxious.

Danny thinks he's kinda annoying, and it doesn't take a genius to see that Gregor is trying to impress Sam. But since they've only known him for five minutes he takes the good faith assumption and assumes that Gregor is genuinely trying to show interest in Sam's interests too because he likes her, so he keeps mum. The fake hungarian accent is weird, but it's overall harmless, so he doesn't point it out.

He does do the spying thing when he starts suspecting that Gregor might be working for the GIW. The episode only has this happen twice, but for the au this happens a handful of more times over the course of the week, with Danyal's suspicion steadily rising more and more each time.

Hah, when he brings up wanting to spy on Sam and Gregor because of this reason, Tucker still does his "woah! you wanna spy on Sam?" thing.

Danny immediately turns to him, completely unimpressed, and crosses his arms. "Tucker," he says, deadpan, "you and Sam spied on me and Valerie."

He uses a combination of his ghost powers and his regular stealth ability to spy on them. He's hiding in a tree when they're skipping rocks, close enough that he can use his powers to hear them talk but far enough away that he has a good view of their surroundings.

He's invisible in the cinema, but doesn't accidentally get in front of the projector. He checks the inside of the room for the GIW, and then waits outside the actual room itself, keeping an eye on the area and occasionally flying in to watch the movie out of boredom. It reminds him of being back on a recon mission with the League, but it doesn't end with him orchestrating someone's death.

Then when they're at the mall he stays in human form, blending in with the crowd. He runs into the GIW there, but realizes that they're not there because of Gregor; they're just shopping. They didn't show up at either of the last two locations, and he follows them to make sure they're not also trying to blend in. But they're literally just there for shopping.

Danny is rather pleased with this turnout; so far Gregor isn't a spy, he's just annoying. The next day at lunch he asks Sam how her date with Gregor went, and that's how she figures out he spied on them, because well, she didn't tell him that.

"Have you been spying on me?"

Danny messes with his food a little bit, and Tucker is sinking into his seat with embarrassment. He frowns, "Only last night. Those incompetent government dodos--"

His lip curls up; he gets all 'Shakespeare-y' (as Sam and Tucker put it) when he's insulting someone, "--kept appearing whenever Gregor did. I followed you and him last night to make sure he wasn't a spy."

A roundabout way of saying, "I was worried".

Sam is, as canon, furious. Danny understands why, he knows generally speaking that people don't like being spied on. But he's confused on just how angry she is, and is a little irritated by it.

"Why would you do that!" She exclaims, "That's way out of line, Danny."

"How? You spied on me when I was going on dates with Valerie." He narrows his eyes, and points his fork at her, "I'm not blind, I noticed."

"That's different, we told you why we were suspicious. And we don't have ghost powers like you do."

"I don't need ghost powers to sneak around, Sam, you've seen this firsthand. And I just told you why I followed you, I thought he was working with the guys in white--"

"So you think someone can only be interested in me if they're after you?" (this is a paraphrased quote, folks ;D)

"No! If that was the case I would have voiced my concern the moment I thought it. I don't get why you're so angry, you spied too."

Iiits.... a mess. Sam storms off with Gregor, Tucker tags along because okay, yeah, maybe Gregor isn't with the GIW, or maybe last night was a fluke. Either way he ends up tagging along. Danny overhears that conversation between the GIW and Mr. Lancer, and maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong; but something is up.

I've gotten to that scene in the locker room where Gregor tells Danny that he knows he doesn't like him, and I've paused at Danny's reply to say this: Danyal doesn't even bother trying to deny it.

"I know you do not like me."

"You're right; I don't."

"Ah, let me finish. I know you do not like me because you want to protect your friend, Sam, and I respect that."

"...That's correct."

"Good! Because I am going to ask her out."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," he stands up, claps his hand tight on Gregor's shoulder, and leans close to him with a threatening smile, "so you understand me when i say; if you break my best friend's heart, you're as good as dead, right?"

"Ah,, yes. I am so glad we got that cleared out of the way, and now I hope after we can.. how you Americans put it, hang out?"

In the episode he hugs Danny and gives him a la bise (which is that french greeting where you kiss someone on the cheek two or more times) after they end their conversation. But here, when he goes to do that to Danyal, Danny leans away, points an accusatory finger at him, and says; "Absolutely not; we are not close."

The next scene after that is like, end of day. Sam, Tucker, and Gregor walking away. Sam looks over her shoulder to glare at Danny, then gets forlorn. Tucker looks back and just looks forlorn.

(When did I start narrating each scene?? Eh, I'm writing this in brief spurts of time throughout the day. Don't fix what's not broke)

After that there's this whole scene with the two GIW agents that have been chasing Phantom all episode. They're there because they have Tucker's PDA that Skulker took, and it's got the information of their purple backed gorilla assignment on it. They've been going around seeing who Tucker associates with in hopes of catching Phantom.

Uhh ahaha and that is where this gets a little interesting imo, and also allows me to mention that im retconning Danyal's (already) redesigned ghost form. Which I've wanted to retcon even before this moment bc it was just too busy. I'll get to that in a moment.

The GIW suspect Gregor for being the Phantom because of his white hair and green eyes, which is all fine and dandy until you remember: Danyal (and by extension Phantom) has that very noticeable, rather identifiable facial scar that goes across the middle of his fucking face. The GIW could easily suspect that Phantom hides his scar with makeup if he's in disguise, but if they meet a kid with a seemingly identical facial scar and similar disposition? Hoo boy.

Solution? I've got two: Gregor is canonically a kid from Michigan who faked everything to impress Sam. Considering he knows she's gothic and knows that she's ultra-recyclo vegetarian? He probably watched her from afar or got information on her somehow. His hair is dyed, his eyes might just naturally be green, but if he notices that she's got a crush on either Danyal or Phantom? A little sfx makeup could help him recreate a similar looking scar.

My second solution that's gonna happen anyways bc its that suit redesign; Danyal does hide his face as Phantom. Ghosts are emotional creatures and its a popular headcanon that their interests, ambitions, etc, influence the way they look as a ghost, not just their death. A big reoccurring theme of my au is that Danyal did not leave the League unscathed, and that being an assassin is an important part of his identity.

So i'm discarding the hazmat suit look entirely and leaning into the 'assassin' thing. But the general (stylized) feel is like, white ribbon/cloth vambraces that he has used as a garrote at some point, a hood, a gaiter scarf-type thing. I'm keeping the cape. I did a doodle a few days back that's not the official redesign, but a redesign for Phantom. I may reblog this post with that attached because it's got the general feel down. There's very little white involved, but the inside of his cape flares out and looks like the night sky.

Now, the hood and gaiter scarf gets rid of most of the problem, but Danny's hood doesn't stay on all the time, so the GIW have likely seen the upper half of the scar. :] Gregor's own drawn-on scar doesn't have to be 1:1, but it looks close enough, right? A small scar cutting through the edge of his brow and ends right below the corner of his eye. A 'cool, badass' one opposed to Danny's 'garish' scar.

But! Back to the episode scene. Canon Danny gets written off as being 'too prepubescent' to be Phantom, and honestly it'd be hilarious if Danyal was written off for the same reason (he's calling them idiots in his head if they do). But instead -- leaning into the GIW's incompetence here -- he gets written off as being too mature or too talkative. Or something equally as absurd.

Sam breaks up with Gregor for canon reasons, but when Gregor does his "i really like you, but, come on-!" and gestures to tucker, he adds on "and that scary friend of yours too, seriously!"

Things go relatively the same as canon after that. Danny does end up apologizing for spying, however. Sam does it first. Sorrows, prayers, all that.

.

Things usually end up changed or different when I actually write it down, so I'd likely add more or adjust different scenes according to the flow of the oneshot. This is just like, a general vibe of how things would go, and where some of the more obvious changes would be if I did write this oneshot.

Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for the ask :]

[buttfrovski]

twitters visceral hatred for south park but love for family guy is beyond me

[a-hearts-a-heavy-burden]

Dewdrop sexting Aether from across the room during practice :

Dewdrop "I can take it! Haha!! Not in a fight 😏"

Aether "I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into, little flame?"

Dewdrop "Pfft .... Someone's cocky!"

Aether "Interesting choice of words."

- Attachment Sent -

Dewdrop across the room :

[the-potpourri]

"AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

[artstetic-real]

APRIL 14, 2023

[kaurwreck]

I think Dazai, while young, became attached to Natsume when Natsume was lonely and so was he (which is why he calls him Sensei in the Dark Era, like the protagonist in Kokoro); that Natsume brought Dazai to Mori after Dazai attempted suicide (which is why Dazai never touches him in Bar Lupin, why Natsume follows him from the Port Mafia to his meeting with Taneda and then to the Agency, why Dazai knows Natsume well enough to allude to his history to Tanizaki and to recieve the jump drive Natsume brings him in the Cannibalism arc— Dazai knows him); and that Natsume performed a partial skill transfer similar to Kyouka's mother to ensure it could not come that close ever again (and that's why Dazai is one of the few if not only touch/contact-based skill users whose is involuntary).

I think No Longer Human isn't merely nullification, I think (similar to how Bram's skill reverses death but through the framework of vampirism and Atsushi's slices skills and regenerates in addition to his transformations), there is more to Dazai's skill such that it precludes him from dying (which is why he can stand in front of a hail of bullets and be thrown by Chuuya through several buildings in the Port Mafia, why he can't seem to commit suicide successfully, why Kunikida and Chuuya remark on his preternatural inability to die, why Dazai says to both Atsushi and Fyodor with such certainty "you can't kill me," and, cheekily, why Kunikida tells Dazai in 55 Minutes "You're no longer human! You've lost that right!" when Dazai says he finally managed to die, however briefly).

I think Natsume's skill bends reality in the shape of the narrative structure over which he had such mastery and he decided that whoever he failed to snatch from the cyclical jaws of misery and suicide before (again, borrowing from Kokoro), he would not let this boy die; and how cruel that must have felt at first (which is why Dazai hates pain— he's been denied the easiest escape from it that he knows), but how reality bent to weave a narrative such that Dazai could be saved again and again in such a way that might shatter Koroko's inescapable loneliness (this is why, in 55 Minutes, it's implied HG Wells might not have existed, might have been an apparition from an earlier era, as if reality itself rippled space and time to reconjure someone who made sense to protect Dazai when it seemed unlikely anyone else could; why Akutagawa happened to have business there; why Akutagawa and Atsushi happened to cross paths).

It's well known that the titular cat in I Am a Cat is a calico. But, the story was based on Natsume's IRL cat, who was a black, striped cat. And aren't Dazai's bandages a little like stripes?