#venenum

[elvthron]

First time seeing Digitalis Lutea (digitale gialla piccola / Straw foxglove), which is not as popular as its relative Digitalis purpurea but they share the same cardiac-effective compounds. 💛

[alabyte]

today's quick sketch commissions (like ~2$ each) so I could afford fever meds (caught a really nasty cold recently)

[peraspera-cynane]

Construct without resemblance…

I stopped trying when I couldn’t be them, no where near as successful, creative, or intelligent. It was as though I was a small building in the shadow cast by towering skyscrapers, with no potential to ever be as tall or powerful. I was rampantly told I was a run-down lot of land with no future, which would one day be bulldozed over to clear up space for another skyscraper. Height and stature were their measure of character, not wisdom, personality or anything of substance.

They forgot I was not a rundown old building nearing its end, but a teenager, a building still under construction. If we give buildings time to be built up, shouldn’t we warrant the same to people - young impressionable people? When a building doesn’t have a strong foundation, it crumples under the pressures of natural disasters and crises almost instantaneously. Thus, we spend the most time strengthening the building’s roots, its foundation, before we build a soaring skyscraper over it. Does this not apply to people too? We need time to learn, make mistakes, and explore the world to strengthen our foundation upon which we will build our lives and futures. However, the foundation takes time, more so for some than others, but in the end all of us will be unique, powerful and beautiful - much like buildings. If we are not allowed to time to strengthen our foundation and pillars, we will break before the hazards that come with living life.

Architecture is meant to be unique and only then will a building stand out against the concrete jungle of our cities. Thus, if you replicate a previous building exactly, we lose the singularity of both, and it begins to blend into the crowd of buildings in its landscape. Similarly, we must not be replications or extensions of our parents, mentors, or other role model figures, otherwise we too will be lost in the background.

I want my life to be my own building, unlike any other and curated by my tastes, preferences and experiences - a reflection of me, rather an impression of another regardless of how grand they are. I will not be foreshadowed by my parents’ buildings and lives, but strive of overcome it. If my building offends some and disgusts others, that is their burden to bear, not mine. I will spend time building my foundation, design and construct my building as I see fit, and stand unique and proud against the morbid reality of our concrete jungle of duplicates and monotone.

… Ad Astra,

Cynane

[mysticallty]

Videns: what would you do if I was your child , and decided to eat Doritos and 2 am?

Vizerxa: ... Let you??

Dominus: give you a baseball bat to go beat Sidera to death with.

Sidera: hey- I'd steal your Doritos and throw you out the window.

Venenum: be asleep, probably.

Videns: I-

[peachdelta]

it’s an average day for minae venenum (part 1)

[volt-race-art]

Hey! been a bit oops. Got some more art, forgot to post. Getting the hang of this one day.

For now, I bring another slimey goil but this one bites. Please be careful.

[blindrapture]

Opeth: The Last Will and Testament

Opeth's new album came out! and I got it in the mail.

I've listened to it twice now and it's getting its hooks in me. it's a fascinating little thing. it's exactly 50 minutes long and is easily the densest piece of music Opeth have ever put out. it reminds me of Jethro Tull's Thick as a Brick in terms of sheer density, and also hey by complete coincidence this album guest stars Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson (on flute and spoken-word parts). it also stars the lead singer of fucking Europe for some backing vocals. "The Final Countdown," the guy who sings that, he's on this album.

this album sounds nothing like I expected. well, no, I'm pretty familiar with Opeth's work by now and this album is entirely in keeping with what they like to do. but there's still something surprising, paradoxically, about the fact this album sounds like what I expected the album to sound like if someone took the concept really seriously. because I didn't expect the concept to be taken that seriously! I don't really know Opeth for their concept work! they can tell a story, sure, and they can make comically cryptic lyrics that aren't supposed to be all that cryptic, but.

well, again, it's like Thick as a Brick! it's almost a dry joke, it's a clear concept and it takes it very seriously and just commits to it!

look at this. the lyric booklet folds out into this beautiful thing.

look at that! that's a full-on last will and testament (of a fictional character), and that's the lyrics to this album.

this album tells a story, but it tells it entirely in epistolary form, through found objects. this will and testament is the majority of the album, and a private letter is the final song.

it's a cool idea. it removes a lot of the drama, since the actual narrative here is of a bunch of adults standing in a stuffy room hearing this will and testament being read aloud. but it still uses that to provide drama! this man's life was strained! and his three children are going to find out some things!

I'm.. I'm gonna talk about the plot. technically spoilers, but c'mon, come and listen to this.

this is cuck metal. this isn't a rock opera, this is a cuck opera. this is a fucking story about a great cuck of a man. the kids aren't really his kids. and he waits until he fucking dies to tell them that. he was a cuck!

that's a funny way of putting it, yes. but not inaccurate. this was a very rich english man, a very conservative man with strong beliefs in heritage and legacy, and he struggles with that as he agrees to raise these two sons that his wife had without him. and he instead latches onto his daughter, who he had with his handmaid-- he cheated on his wife for this, because he needed to have an heir. and this daughter comes into life "disfigured" but healthy. she has some sort of chronic illness or disorder, I don't think it's specified, but she will live a full life, and this father accepts that and loves her. and it is to her that he leaves his estate, his funds, everything. the sons get worthless but sentimental trinkets. the daughter gets everything.

so the actual last will and testament gradually reveals all that. in it, the father alludes to the love affairs, the secrets he and his wife kept, his feelings about bloodlines, his jealousies, his frustrations, and he leaves everything to his daughter.

but then the final song takes place later. the daughter is now living in the estate, her estate. and she receives a letter from that handmaid, her mother. and the letter tells her some things too. her "father" was infertile. he fucked the handmaid, but nothing came of it. she, instead, came from a poor father, the handmaid's actual lover. but the handmaid told the rich patriarch that this child was his, so that he would agree to care for her and keep her alive. so in the end, all that obsession with bloodlines was tragic. the patriarch was infertile!!!! he left everything to Just Some Fucking Kid! and never knew!

and that's!!! how the fucking story ends!

I love this so much. I love the way this plot is told. I think it's so fascinating a choice.

but then! what about the music? y'know, the proof of the music is in the listening, so what is it like to listen to?

well!!!

it's.. fucking dense!!! it is so dense!!! a thick soundscape of emotion, kept under a stiff upper lip as we just have so much more to get to. it's appropriate to the concept.

there's flute on here, there's mellotron, there's a live string section, there's hand-claps and some of the sweetest basslines I've heard in a long time. there's wild drums that go nuts at the slightest provocation. there's frequent chugging guitars that keep the action moving forward. and there's vocals. there's fucking vocals. the vocals are a constant back-and-forth between folksy evil and soulful crooning, and beyond that they're a constant back-and-forth between clean and GROWLS Opeth has GROWLS again!!! Opeth hasn't had growls since fucking 2008!!!! and if you've never heard Opeth's growling vocals before, ohhh my goddd they're so good, they're so pronounced and controlled and fierce.

but the word of this album is "dense." you gotta keep that word in mind. it is proggy to a perfect pulp, it throws everything at you, your first listen won't even be a rollercoaster, it'll be an onslaught of ideas and sensations. this is an album that requires multiple listens. I need to give it plenty more. it comes and goes very fast, you have no idea where the music is going to go, and every moment is filled with details in a rich mix. it could be downright overwhelming. absolutely.

but for me??? for me???? for me this is christmas. this is exactly the kind of album I've been craving. this album is a challenge, something to sink my teeth into, something to track and interpret every way 'til sunday. and it's an immediately rewarding challenge, because it's not noise music or anything like that, it's prog rock!!! it's smooth classy rock music! all the elements are recognizable, everything is familiar! when I revisit a song and dig into a passage, I'm rewarded with "oh I just noticed the guitar does this really cool riff here!" the whole album is that!

it's fucking FUN!!!

this album is FUN!!!

this is music to HAVE FUN LISTENING TO!

I will leave you with the album's single. because I gotta demonstrate what I'm talking about. if you read all this, I want you to hear the music!

here is Paragraph 1, here is how the album begins.

so I've gotta listen to this album more.

thank you, Opeth!!!

[secret-smut-sideblog]

As It Was

Gale x F! Tav

(AA break up series, part 11, final)

18+ domestic bliss, restraint, oral (f!), breast worship (f!), rimming (f!), squirting, forced orgasm, confrontations, battle, self sacrifice, amputation (explicit), grief release, hurt/comfort, feelings of undeserving, tenderness

All out of time, Tav must save her lost love from himself. With a warm hand at her back, and shaking fear in her heart, will her sacrifice be worth the cost?...

Masterlist, Prev Chapter

-

She had to tell him. She knew she did.

"Mmm," Gale hummed, pleased. Her hands coming up to his chest. Pressing her body into his back. "And a good morning to you too."

She couldn't put it off any longer. It would be irresponsible.

Pressing her nose into his spine, she nuzzled in. Hands cupping his pecs.

"Careful there," He laughed, a slight hitch in his voice. "I've got hot oil up here."

If she could just get one more night with all of her limbs tangled endlessly in his.

If she could just show him how much he meant to her, how deeply she wanted him to feel loved. Maybe that would be enough.

Giving him one small love bite on his shoulder, she relented for now.

"No biting!" He admonished.

She play growled and pulled his forearm into her teeth.

"Drop it!"

She kicked her feet at him, laughing loudly as he tried to pinch at her sides.

The fight went to the floor, her gasping out a shrieking laugh as he caught her ribs in a tickle.

Locking her legs around his, she drug her tongue up his forearm obscenely.

"Okay, that's it!" He dove into the side of her neck, rubbing his beard into her.

"No!" She shrieked, trying to twist away.

Quiet laughter shook his chest. Both of them relaxing into a tangle on the cool tile.

He held the back of her head, kissing her deeply.

"I adore you and would love to kiss you on a dirty floor for much longer. But breakfast is burning."

"Breakfast is stupid."

"An absurd and frankly, hurtful statement."

He gave her one small kiss on the forehead, pulling her up with him.

Hopping up on the counter, she leaned back into the cabinets. Picking up a peeled potato and turning it in her hands.

What do you need to tell me, Tav?

She sighed.

Was it that obvious?

Well, groping is usually followed by heavy subjects.

She shot him a smile, which he returned. Flipping the contents of the skillet.

You're going to try to talk me out of it.

Oh, most definitely. Show me anyway.

She bit her lip, then turned towards him. Closing her eyes and opening her mind.

She showed him everything. The deal she had made, the plan already fully formed. The supplies. The steps. The price.

His hands came to lean on the sides of the stove, shoulders hunched over. Head down.

It was quiet besides the sizzling of food.

For once, he closed his mind off to hers, and that made her more scared than she had been in a long time.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he took a deep breath.

"Okay."

She looked up at him in shock.

"What?"

"I'm not fool enough to think I can stop you, and I'd rather be there than not. If you're going to do this, you're going to need help. Especially with the first part."

She brought his hand to her mouth, kissing his knuckles softly.

Thank you.

After breakfast, she led him wordlessly upstairs. They both understood the weight. That this was the last time as they both were. If things went wrong; ever.

An endless spinning blue light surrounded her, lifting her hair like water.

He kissed her with the deepest passion she had ever felt, pouring over her body in molten waves.

His magic started lifting her off of her feet, bone deep pulling pleasure. Her head fell back and he lifted higher, fingers arcing up.

She fell back suspended in air, moaning and arching.

What little clothes she wore were pulled away by mage hands. One clawed hand running nails down her thigh.

Then he was everywhere, between her legs, against both of her breasts, against her asshole. Wet. Lapping. Suckling.

It was so much. The discipline of his mouth in quadruple. Pulsing both of her peaks, sucking undulating waves into her clit, tight circles against her hole. Slick already pooling down her backside.

She writhed as he circled her, hands conducting. Burning fingertips sweeping and arching. Pushing and pulling. Beckoning and forbidding.

Fully at his mercy she reached out for something, anything, to ground her.

"Please, ugh!-" A hard swirl against her asshole. "Gale!"

Her pleas were not answered. His phantom mouths only working faster.

Mage hands forced her legs open, two holding her arms down.

Only able to arch and twist fruitlessly, her eyes rolled back. Panting and drooling. Completely lost.

His solid hands found her thighs between his mage ones. Lifting her up to his mouth.

His corporeal mouth finally met her, pushing his tongue inside her cunt.

"Fuck!" She tried to reach for his hair but the mage hands held her in place.

Five mouths assaulting her now, she pleaded out nonsense words. Tears streaming down the side of her face. A near unbearable orgasm about to hit.

"I can't take it! Oh Gods!"

You can.

A fifth mage hand gripped into her hair, pulling her head back taut.

And you will.

Her body twisted, a full body orgasm ripping her apart. Vision going blurry. Mouth falling open into a silent scream, then a shriek pulled deep from her core. Hips bucking. Straining against his many holds. A wave of fluid striking his jaw. Every part of her tremoring, her own private earthquake.

He held his palm out flat and directed her limp body to their bed.

Her head lolled, watching him climb down to her. Kissing gently against her face, her fingers, the tips of her ears.

Words completely lost she just smiled lovesick at him.

Mustering the last of the useless puddle of her mind she formed the only thought she could for him.

I love you. I love you. I love you, Gale.

He buried his face into her shoulder, settling between her legs. Holding her lifeline into him.

Please. Please say it again.

She chanted it to him, a hymn that formed into a wave of feeling she washed over him.

He trembled against her, overcome.

Standing outside of the castle, she stared up at that distant window. The same that she had watched light in crashing pursuit, anger flared and spitting. The same that she had held his weeping curled body.

It had always been here, there was nowhere else to end this.

Gale's hand held steady to her lower back.

She smiled. That was the greatest difference.

She wasn't alone.

The witching hour was upon them, and she had to take the steps.

Working backwards she went from balcony, to ballroom, to hidden hallway.

Slow. Deliberate.

Meeting no resistance she knew he was waiting. In the dust laden grave of their love.

Pushing inside, she closed the door softly behind her.

His body was silhouetted in the moonlit window. Standing expectantly, hands leaning back on the vanity.

"So you're darkening my doorway again, are you pet?"

"Are you disappointed?"

"Oh, to the contrary." He stepped closer, a viper moving through grass.

"I have been absolutely salivating thinking of you submitting yourself to me. Finally where you belong."

"Funny, I think the reason why you want me is because I defy you. But you will never admit that to yourself."

As intended, he moved closer. Anger bristling along his back.

"Your insolence has been the bane of my reign."

Crimson eyes pouring rage.

"You. Are. Mine." He hissed, eyes starting to burn out red. "Understood?"

"Oh, absolutely." She smiled, back foot sliding out slowly.

"Just one thing, Lord Ancunin."

Her thumb and middle finger started to push onto each other.

"Go fuck yourself."

As he lunged for her she snapped her fingers and her love uncloaked behind her, his invisibility falling away.

With all the rage of a tornado he stepped forward, casting spell after spell.

The barrage sending Astarion onto his back foot, dodging but Gale's fury struck him down.

As soon as a knee met the floor Tav pushed to him.

Now, Gale!

He raised arms and shouted.

"Ad Lapide!"

The spinning square of light held him down. Already vibrating as the hold tempted to shatter.

She fell to knees. Whipping out the roll of fabric previously tied to her back. Everything she needed was here. She just had to have the will to use it.

Snatching the pot of her blood she dove under his feet, smearing the binding circle. Concentrating as much as she could on the sigils and sweeping lines as he vibrated with fury, fighting against the holding like a caged animal.

Flying to feet, the pot empty, she took the dagger held in her teeth and cut into his outstretched frozen palm.

His eyes burned into hers with shaking hate, his blood pouring into the pot.

She dove away as the hold was starting to stutter. Crouching down in a circle, drawing one line of his blood around her.

Just as the hold shattered, her smeared fingers met the beginning of her line.

The purple light spinning through the room shifted to a molten red.

Burning lines pulled from him, holding his wrists down to the floor. Already straining and screaming feral at her. Lunging with teeth.

"What have you done?!"

Black flame encircled her. She cried out as a terrible biting pain began.

"Arm! Left!" She shrieked, holding it up.

Gale snatched the tourniquet, whipping it around her bicep.

"Pull hard!" She shouted, though he already knew.

He leaned in and gave her one desperate kiss, then wrenched with all his might.

Nearly blacking out, she fell forward. Dry heaving on the floor. Her arm already felt like it was severed, her nerves screaming out in tingling anguish.

But she wasn't done yet.

Rising shaky to feet she began singing the incantation.

"O magna diaboli dimittis amica mea!"

Smeared lines of him pulled to the floor, the shifting circles opening to a wavering portal of molten light beneath the both of them.

"Sume membrum meum, carpe sanguinem meum!"

The wire around her bicep began closing, wrenching her back down to knees. Crying out, her song becoming a scream.

"Mundus meus est, redde illum ad me!"

His screams melded with hers, fighting on all fours. Spitting and straining. Smeared images of him pulling down then wavering out.

Nearly at the edge, black circles threatening her vision, she looked at him one last time. Gripping the tourniquet as her flesh sawed away beneath it.

Between screams of fury, endless curses and hateful promises, there was a flash of desperate hope in his eyes.

"Do it!" He bellowed.

"Dolor sit satis! Eum dimittere!"

As the last of his screaming mirrored form pulled down into Avernus, her flesh gave. Hungry hands pulling her limp arm down just the same.

Lines beneath them dissipating, she collapsed on the blood smeared floor. Gale rushed to her, hand lit in bright flame.

With one last tearful apology, he pressed his burning palm to the lost limb. Cauterizing it.

She could only twist, her body so imbued with pain the sensation was nearly incomprehensible.

When he released the tourniquet, she got some breath back. Adrenaline allowing her the smallest kindness.

Pushing on knees, she went to him.

He was crumpled, face down. Writhing weakly as she had been.

She almost didn't want him to look up. Terror of failure shaking her.

With her only hand, she cupped his face.

Bending up, his eyes met hers.

She smiled, hitching out a sob.

"Blue. They're blue, Starlight."

He wailed, arms gripping her to him.

They stayed like that, pouring grief into each other. Desperate pulls of limbs, shaking hopeful fingers. Parallel wailing mouths pressing into shoulders. Four tear blinded eyes. Two shattered hearts beating strong to each other.

The beginnings of insect song outside the open window a quiet hymn. Sun on its slow climb, drenching their alcove of despair with light.

Incomprehensibly, the morning had begun all the same.

-

-

-

Tav twisted the taloned fingers. Trying and failing to snap her thumb and middle finger.

Gale came up behind her, kissing her shoulder in a low hum.

"You'll get good at it soon, I promise."

"I know." She smiled, cupping his head with her remaining hand. Leaning into him with a sigh.

The blue light of her mage arm was distracting in her peripheral, but she knew she'd adjust. Fingers sliding gingerly along the bottom of the apparatus cupping her remaining bicep. Tied down securely over her shoulder.

"Kind of Elminster to lend the magic for this." She remarked.

"Oh I think he owed me, after telling me to level a small city."

Tav smiled, turning to him.

Concentrating, she brought her glowing blue palm to his chest.

He smiled proudly, tears spiking the corner of his eyes.

"See? You're a natural."

She pulled with her solid hand, bringing his lips to hers.

I love you so much, you silly wizard.

He laughed against her mouth, melding into her.

He's in the garden, if you want to see him.

Tav nodded, releasing him with two small kisses for good luck.

"You haven't even complimented my dress!" She mock huffed. The one he had picked out for her what felt like months ago hanging from her frame.

"Well let's see it then." He laughed.

She gave him a little twirl. The deep blue fabric swirling around her. The cape sweeping along the floor.

"Heavenly." He sighed, eyes sparkling. "Other goddesses are crying out in shame."

"You are so full of it." She laughed, pinching his side.

"A strike against my very soul. How am I supposed to weather my day with such hurtful words in my heart?" He continued, smiling wide.

"I think you'll live. But I'd love to see the mournful poetry you've written later tonight." She nuzzled into his neck.

He took a deep breath of her, then released. Hand trailing along hers as she stepped downstairs.

Drenched in the fragrant garden, she saw his shock of silver hair on a bench.

Smiling, she came up behind him, hand gently trailing along the flowers at her hip.

Tara was sitting next to him, pressing determined head bonks against his hip.

"Oh dear, it seems she likes you." Tav laughed.

He reached out for her wordlessly, and she met his fingers. Coming to sit on his free side. Resting her head into his shoulder.

"How do you feel?" She hushed, his fingers threading into hers.

"Alive." He whispered, voice wavering.

"Well, that's what I was going for, so..."

He laughed wetly. Leaning into her.

"I'm sorry." He murmured.

"I know." She hummed.

She kicked her legs out, settling into his shoulder.

His eyes caught a gleam, and as soon as he saw the gold vines twisting around her ankle, he crumpled.

She held him as big heaving sobs wracked through. Tara twirling around them, pushing her little head into him.

When he pulled back she kissed his tears away. Pressing her forehead to his.

"I missed you so much, Starlight."

He nodded, face still strained.

"I'm so glad to give you a second chance. No one deserves it more than you."

He shook his head then, and she cupped his face. Bringing her mage hand up to the other side.

"Yes. Yes, you do. And I'm not taking feedback at this time."

He hiccuped a laugh, holding her shoulders.

"Now come inside. There's breakfast and conversation, everything you could ever need. I love you and I'm so glad to see you again. Come eat."

~

~

~

[majestativa]

Only this is not heaven. I dream of a night without blemish, of love without the sting.

— DANUSHA LAMÉRIS ⚜️ Bonfire Opera: Poems, (2020)

[rastronomicals]

2:31 AM EDT April 19, 2025:

Opeth - "Heart In Hand" From the album In Cauda Venenum (September 27, 2019)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: Venom in the Tail

--

  <640x570>

[peraspera-cynane]

You know you are truly hurt, when it’s not your angels but your demons who cry.

- The Alcatraz of Expectations (a dialogue)

It turned out to be venenum after all.

Ad astra,

Cynane

[mysticallty]

"my favorite animal is a cat. Mainly because Sidera's scared of them."

[mangos-neat-dragons]

i forgor to incubate my nests yesterday. and now my valentines nest is gonna be a day late ):

I mustn't. I will keep my gems squarely in my pocket. so i can save up for a cool skin someday. i do not have 200 gem to spend.

I DO NOT HAVE 200 GEMS TO SPARE *glaring at myself*

[electricmeatorchestra]

I wish Opeth hadn’t released an English-language version of In Cauda Venenum at all. It’s Opeth, and they can do whatever they want. Doing a whole album in their native language is objectively rad.

I kinda don’t like the mix though and it majorly weakens some real good songs