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#very honorable moment.. im glad they get to know how much people loved their work :]
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HAVE BEEN ROTATING Y7 ARAKAWA IN RGGO ARAKAWA'S DRIP IN MY MIND FOR AEONS YOU SEE THE VISION....................
Listen. I think. I think it would work. I think we could've still won. The physics probably would've been a pain, but if I think about it as an echo of the red iin his costuming in the play at the start, and link it back to how the plot of the play comes to represent part of his life, it would [unintelligible]
But no for real, the sliver you can see of the snakeskin on Jo and the fact it's the lightest thing you can see on his whole outfit feels purposeful. It's still incredibly funny to me that whole thing was treated as a twist at all. But.
And the progression on account of the timeskip is sick too from a symbolic perspective. It's things like the 2019 tie having the exact same pattern as in 2000, but it's also now the only real color in his entire ensemble, the purple from his shirt relegated to the tie and the pink completely gone. Hanging on to the past (although I guess this is more RGGJo's thing), forcing his "self" into a smaller and smaller space, that kind of thing. If we go with Sololiquy for a moment, maybe there's also something there about things being livelier when Ichi was around, for better or worse.
All the leather is ostensibly much more luxurious, befitting of his rise in status, but it's also burying him further in these additional layers of security. The gloves DO pull it together, and they also leave him basically completely covered-up from head to toe, which I can't help find fascinating.
So, you know, he looks sick with the gloves on, but there's also a different Flavor when recognizing he had them on the first battle when he was hiding so much from Ichi, but in the second battle, where he hopes to come clean, he's bare-handed ("Ichi-vision" notwithstanding).
And I think it's also worth recognizing that the gloves would've offered some protection when he went to grab the blade, but he grabs it anyway in his bare hand. With the amount of force you apply when you swing a blade and it actually connects, that'd hurt him just as bad, but it shows he's past the point of caring about what happens to him even before he says so. (I still think we should've probably seen his hand cut and bleeding when out of Ichi-vision, but y'know.)
Much to think about...
NO I SEE YOUR VISION I SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING they could've done that.... true the physics would've been a pain but I think we can trade some of the effort that went into The Bread and put it towards the scarf and coat.....
The evolution of Jo's outfit in conjunction with the surrounding environment and circumstances really is mad interesting, and as someone who really enjoys 'storytelling' (idk if that's the exact word rn but i aint ever been good with words in the first place) through character design/wardrobe. Any note I coulda said you've already said for me, yet I still wish I had some more words to express how much I love the changes in his outfit and how it reflects himself and the story at that particular point 😷
#long post#snap chats#holder until i think of a tag for these asks#most ironic ass tag cause i know im never changing it at this point ☠️#thats the problem with having a walnut-sized brain like mine you're just terrible at words#it's what makes trying to say things painful cause id LOVE to accurately describe how much i adore a thing#however i was born without a brain#its why im eternally grateful for people who can put thoughts into words perfectly ☠️☠️#but yayaya i always found those aspects of jo's design real fun and its really really epic that you've noticed them also!#for some reason i keep wanting to say that joe's outfit becoming darker can also reflect his and ichi's relationship#and how it isn't purely mutual hatred- of course jo doesnt like ichi anywhere near as much as arakawa did#so the sentiment of ichi making things 'brighter' probably isn't super shared with jo#but still.. ill entertain it for just a sec#its kinda like when your routine's busted or something. i dont know again im not good at words#like somethings just missing even if you werent particularly a fan of it- it just feels weird now that its gone#i dont want to ramble too much im sure im sounding silly as is#this aint related. only like. VAGUELY but on the note about Soliloquy though the author of that fic found my art for itjlkjkvle#very honorable moment.. im glad they get to know how much people loved their work :]#but back on topic ill risk sounding silly. ive said dumber things ☠️#im prob stretchin a bit but sometimes i think of how jo calls ichi. 'ichi'.#i made a post bout this a long while ago but i still think of it.. like its just Interestin how ichi's friends might call him kasuage#or ichiban in full but jo and masato still use 'ichi'. with jo it's esp Inchresting since it's such a casual nickname#and yk.. youd expect a lil more professionalism. i wonder if he picked the nickname up from arakawa or somethin#ergo.. maybe circling back to both Soliloquy and jo's palette.. maybe it truly can be reflective of arakawa's feelings while ichi was gone#but im goin on too much im saying NOTHING
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thepepsislvt · 5 months
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What if we had another Barto fic because were so starved for his content esp in writing if the reader was like a strawhat that luffy picked up in like skypiea maybe..like a shandorian with the little wings 👀.. just a thought..
I WIN yes i will write more of Barto bc i love him and im glad so many other people love him too!
this one seemed rushed and i apologize i wrote this before my second shift of work :(
Bartolomeo x Winged! Gn Reader
warnings: all fluff, some cursing, mention of doflamingo
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you were born on Skypiea and thats all you’ve known
you were always so curious as a child but nobody would tell you what the rest of the world was like
So when you hit your teenage years you decide that one day you're going to leave the floating island
You had wings so you could easily fly away but you couldn't navigate the ocean by yourself
Most nights you would hope and pray that someday, someone would save you.
That's when a certain pirate with a straw hat came and fucked shit up on your island
At the age of 19, you knew this was your getaway, a savior you had spent all of these years praying for
After he won the battle he was fighting you came up to him and his crew as they were about to depart
“Strawhat! You must take me with you! I will prove myself worthy to join your crew-”
“Ok”
“-and I won't take no for an answer! Wait did you say okay? That fast?” you looked at the pirate captain with confusion and shock
All he did was smile and nod
So it was easier than you thought
It didn't take very long to get along with the rest of the crew members
You would give Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy rides through the air
Zoro taught you how to use a sword
Naomi taught you to pickpockets even though you probably won't use that skill
The Entire crew loved you
When Frankly and Brook joined the Straw hats you easily got along with them as well
When you got separated for two years on Sabaody you couldn't have been happier to see them
Your wings had fully grown and you could now use them to their full potential
You guys may have changed a lot physically over the past two years but nothing has changed between your friendship
During the events of Dressrosa, you decided to follow Luffy to the Colosseum to make sure he doesnt give away his identity and draw unwanted attention towards him
While you and Luffy were watching the fight, a certain green haired rooster head had caught your eye
he was hated by the crowd for being vulgar but thats what you liked about him
after his victory in Block B you knew you had to go and greet him
what you were not expecting was him to start crying and saying how much he wasn’t good enough to be in your presence
how can such a scary looking man with the title “Cannibal” fall to his knees over someone like you?
you were flattered by his kind (?) response and had to console him
he asked you to sign your wanted poster he kept
after the defeat of Doflamingo, you hung around Bartolomeo more, falling more and more for him and his wild personality
he had finally accepted that you were actually his friend and took his fanboying down a notch (he still has his moments though)
you had asked him out since you know damn well he wouldnt have the balls to ask you
when you did he just about died on the spot
but y’all had the best time on your date
Sanji and Nami had helped you dress nicely for the event
at the end of the night Barto and you were just star gazing as you told him all about each constellation
Barto knew he had to something he just didnt know how
“you see those six stars up there forming a ‘W’? they call that one the King of Pirates in honor of Gol Roger himself! isnt that cool?” you had explained while pointing to the sky
after you didnt get a response from him you looked over to see if he was alright only to be met with his face close to yours
“Barto? are you alright?” you whispered to him
He just stared into your eyes before kissing your cheek, leaving you flustered and your wings spread out in suprise
“was that okay? should i not have done it?” Bartolomeo started to panic and think of every possible negative outcome before you kissed his lips gently
“more than alright”
he Smiled and started giggling all giddy
“I GOT KISSED BY MY FAVORITE STRAWHAT!!” he yelled out into the sky
you only laughed and kissed him again
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thegeminisage · 2 months
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star trek update time. last night we did the maquis parts 1 & 2 because i simply did not want to deal w tng.
the maquis (ds9)
standout moment for me in this entire two-parter was sisko's speech. ESPECIALLY good that in a fit of frustration he delivers it to kira and kira alone, whomst he maybe did shout a little bit at earlier because tensions were so high, and then he has the grace to look embarrassed and say he's glad someone understands. like it was the EXACT same thing she was yelling about earlier and he didn't take her as seriously as he might have, like, not in a delegitimizing way, but in a way that says he hasn't experienced that kind of helpless frustration for himself. and then he got to experience just the tiniest slice of what kira has and he Got It. you know?
ALSO SOOO TRUE THE PROBLEM IS EARTH!!!! it's easy to be a saint when you live in utopia. quark had a similar speech earlier in this series about how humans are friendly and wonderful when they have full bellies and working holosuites and they turn vicious without them. ds9 knows whats up
it's tempting to blame all this on picard but while picard did NOT act with honor the true villain is the nameless faceless politician that decided this would be a good boundary to draw and absolutely no one would have any problems with it. it's weird to me, in the age of constantly calling our government officials to make sure they don't cancel healthcare or tell them to stop bombing people, that no one would try to get to the bottom of this and figure out which person they're supposed to call to tell them it was a dumb idea and demand they change it. like, the border is drawn like this, it's an immutable fact of life and it's not gonna change. it feels so weird
anyway, kira was GREAT in this episode. she has so much to be angry about and so much she wants to give to make sure nobody has to suffer what she did. like she's so passionate about it and it comes from a place of love or at least compassion and it's such a nice detail. that she's so angry all the time because of love. man. she's so great
i recognized one of the maquis guys from tng i think! well, i'm bad with faces but it was at least one of the same costumes. i'm so sorry dude rip
one of the maquis guys has a passing resemblance to barclay. really jumpscared me
should have known hudson was a villain bc he asked inappropriate questions about dax. however, it was funny that sisko laughed off the idea of them sleeping together when they fucked twins or whatever
i liked the jennifer mention :( im sad sisko and cal couldn't make up...he tried until the very end
what i love about the ethical debate is that theyre both right. the maquis are right because the new border IS shit. it IS unfair and they DID get abandoned to the tender mercies of the cardassians, who are sure as shit not gonna let them stay there unbothered (that tng episode painting this as a happy ending...AS IF). like, they have every right to defend themselves since no one else is gonna do it
but sisko is ALSO RIGHT because escalating the conflict into full-blown warfare is gonna get even MORE people killed and make things even MORE miserable for the colonies affected, who have already been through more than enough. the colonists can make life harder for the cardassians, just like the bajorans did, but they can't actually win a war, they can only drive themselves into the ground doing it. at BEST they will make some nameless faceless border-drawer think twice the next time they draw a border
like, that's why i'm so shocked nobody suggested calling the politicians to making them redraw it. it's the only third option?!?!
quark and the vulcan was so funny. shoot your shot, buddy, even though you lost the love of your life two episodes ago. i was a little insulted he managed to out-logic her, but also reluctantly impressed. quark is always entertaining, i just wish he had a LITTLE more depth.
gul dukat...i admit i never gave him a second thought before this episode. now i am reaffirmed in my belief that all cardassians are gay. he exhibits such an energy. i really liked the part where he put the fear of god into the weapons runner even though sisko was ready to sit on him to keep him from touching the torpedo controls. such a fun dynamic for him to be going "murder? :D?" and for sisko to be playing straight man and yanking him down by the scruff of his neck every 5 minutes. fun fun fun. i do think he should have kept his mouth shut when he and kira were in the same room though. like i think he should have just chosen to not speak unless prompted.
i like how twice odo's ability to maintain security at the station was called into question and both times sisko was like oh absolutely not. and even still, the tension was nearly enough to cause in-fighting in what has become a pretty friendly group. it's both surprising and unsurprising how quickly they drew the battle lines, but even the non-federation people, kira and odo, snapped at each other. LITERALLY CALL THE POLITICIANS. EARTH IS THE PROBLEM
my one real nitpick is that i don't think it should be possible to resist a mind meld with "discipline." like, it's more interesting if cardassians have a special immunity, or if this particular vulcan is bad at it. i just don't buy that gul dukat happens to be that cool, it's too convenient. why bring up the mind meld at all in that case
otherwise 10/10 i had a fantastic time
TONIGHT: devil's deal means we have double tng, "firstborn" and "bloodlines." something about alexander and daimon bok from season 1??? looks rank. wish us luck.
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♦️Episode 23 ♦️
Gonna skip mseto's clovenheart and come back around in my pass for the extras
[Felix is spar's ran, androgynous, willowy, Luna sibling &therefore elven light-medium brown skin VERY curly hair, which Spar also has when not slicked back, but brown eyes, sweet smile "between them and tars, they are obviously the more delicate one"]
[Josepha has green skin]
[Merim² is Felix's sibling, spar's Om (om is an ungendered word for aunt of uncle that has become my default for that usage but which I have seen used by other peope exactly once. But I like it. So.)]
The dreams sequence was uhhhh fucked up, methinks!
[Spar's restless & withdrawn when he's angry] hough....HOUGH.
Vellum making sure Spar's all healed up...ugh. ugh. Knife through my heart.
Yk how like there's that circle of distance animals tend to keep from sitting humans and how like dogs will come up really close to like any person but cats tend to stay further away?
Sometimes I think about that in situations like this, and what vellum's doing. Being visible, being available, helping keep watch but...letting someone take their time. Giving space at the same time.
I love that Vellum and Anya get along the are SO ♥️♥️♥️
Omg 🥰carnation🥰
Ah, I'm really glad they went to get her if they were gonna give up Anya........ [Vellum expresses that while he prefers to trust people it's often best to err on the side of assuming dishonesty—mostly at work]
OOOOHHHHHHHH ANYA'S DAD BEING IN CRYSTALLIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE
Oh my god Anya is so sweet I love her!!!!
Spar if you don't fucking open up your goddamn heart and stop shielding and self isolating every time something sucks I will kick your ass!!!! I KNOW. it's hard, but fuck!
ANYA CALLS HIM KAOLIN VELLUM THEY HAD THE NAME MOMENT RHEY HAD!!!!!! THE NAME MOMENT IM SCREAMING. YAYYYYYY OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! >:DDDDD
They have such sibling-in-law energy. They have such "gossip over tea as the run rises before making sure everyone's up and ready for the family event" energy. Your honor I love them.
OPE spars up.
The hurt/comfort ideas this episode is implanting into my brain.
JACKS LETTER. HOLY SHIT
SEVENTEY TWO HOURS WAS......TOO LONG AGO, HUH? FUCKING HELL
"it's on the list" I'm gonna strangle spar.
Narratively? I love this. Narratively, spars doing so good. Narratively, gimme gimme gimme those good good flaws
Personally? Spar what the FUCK. Spar FUCK OFF. BITCH.
IPSWITCH'S "AHEM" UFKSGSKAGSKDG
"who should even be in charge of this?" technically Vellum, right? He's the one that gives final approval on use of force?
OH SPAR FEELS HELPLESS, THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING. Makes sense, checks out, mhm
"QCS LIKE WHY WOULD YOU KILL A POPSTAR" FOSVSOSGSKS FUCK LMAO
Vellum trying to pull Spar's bear hug move.
Oh, goddamn, this scene is....hooooo.
"greggins is gaining a new appreciation for spar's style of communication" spar communicates???
VELLUM PULLED NO FUCKING PUNCHES ON THAT PHONE CALL LMAO
"I need to hyperventilate for a minute and then I'll get back to you" first of all, mood—
"spar has never willingly taken a vacation...usually his loved ones trick him into it" spar is SUCH a hot mess, and I love Tatiana but girl....
VELLUMS BEING A LITTLE ARCHEOLOGIST IS SOOOO CUTE
LUNAVELLA AND BRUNHILDE HI!!!!!! I hope they kick his ass (not literally just give him a good talking to because spar what the fuck)
Spar...Spar speaking to them like that is WILD to me...
"he pats her as if he's comforting her" I am going to run spar a nice hot bath with lavender Epsom salt and fucking bolt him down into it will this man let himself be comforted ONCE?
"the more important thing is that they're here now and I can't keep everyone safe." D:
Spar? Asking for help? Of course not, unheard of.
Bestie those are elven war vets who killed a puppet-master-(functionally)demigod PLEASE let someone help you.
Musician...musicia—DIAMOND. FUCK.
Also NOBODY made diamond a scapegoat in ANYTHING I love them (sincerely) but they are so annoying (derogatory)
RESIST DIAMONDS MIND CONTROL?
YEAH!!! YEAH I WOULD NOT LIKE THAT JOKER FLY CAUSE FUCK.
So diamond had contact with Grey....and wait grey was coming to sindershore? I'm wondering if diamond can mind control on the phone
HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHE vellum said fuck
(not that he hasn't before? I havemt kaot track. But that was a DAMN well delivered line)
"OHHH! YOUR SPARKLINESS" FUEKGSKDGD
"looks like you've collected more of them!"
"which means over been watching them EXTREMELY carefully!"
Ipswitch is annoying in the best way. Ipswitch is annoying like I hope they never stop talking I have my chin in my hands, tell me all about how deductibles are a metaphor for justice.
Diamond is annoying like when I even hear the name I'm like "oh this bitch again"
WHY DID THEY CALL QC A MINION? MOTHERFUCKER—
""""""""the other one""""""""
"JEALOUS"
"it's seems that you (pointing at vellum) have joined the list of my suitors" hhhh diamond is sooooo lucky to not be real because if we existed on the same physical plane I would be stepping on the back of their heels when they walk at every opportunity. I would mix toner into their hair mousse. I would straighten the backs of all their hanging earrings and bend the backs of all their studs. I would put olive oil in a spray bottle and go ham on their closet.
"I'm being cute" that's a word for it.
BITCH "WHY?" AFTER YOU WERE FOUND WITH THE FUCK WERELION DRUGS THE PERSON YOU INVITES WENT ALL WERELION AND THEN YOU JIST FUCKING LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING AND DIDNT UPDATE THE PROGRAMME ABOUT YOUR ABSENCE YOU HAVE GOOOOOT FO SEE HOW THAT IS SUSPICIOUS "WHY" MY ASS. """""WHY""""".
bitchass motherfucker. God.
AND OH YEAH YOUR PROBABLY MIND CONTROLLED KURT
"how is sekitan? :)" I don't trust that question at all.
"I didn't want them to be a fatality in all this" HHHHHHHHHRRNGHHH (wrathful)
[Kurt? May be green-skinned]
I loved this episode so much there are so many feelings in my heart. I was affectionately exasperated with spar, and then diamond came in and I was just exasperated. But ipswitch, Anya and Vellum are balancing it out for me. And also the scene between Spar and auntsssss that. That was so. SO. WAH. —AND END NOTES LUNA AND HILDE WERE GOING TO THE COUPLES DANCE THAT'S SOOO CUUUUTE!!!!
And ohhhhh diamond from from the plot card!! Huh!! They wove into the story so well I assumed they were, like, in the premise of the show!
But anyways I'm still bonking spar over the head with a wrapping paper roll and yelling "YOU. MUST. TRUST. YOUR. PEERS. TO-BE-STRONG-ENOUGH. TO CARRY. THE BURDEN. THAT IS. YOUR HEART. BECAUSE-THEY-CANT. KNOW YOU. WITHOUT. THAT. TRUST. SO. HELP. ME. GOD!!!!!!!!"
@threeheartscast
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bsaka7 · 2 years
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i did finish the fic!!!! gave me the like “omg what do i even do with these feelings now” hahaha it really is such a masterpiece!
the character foils were everything!!! obviously pierre and esteban at the core but even the relationship of pierre and charles compared to his with esteban, pierres career compared to estebans, pierres family etc etc it all interacts to create such a wonderful picture of who they are and how they have… become who they are??? like even from the beginning, when theyre karting together and estebans first feelings are “i want to win and i want to be in the kart but hes going first :(“ and that… changes but never really goes away because its important to him and the little moments that show their diff upbringing too like… pierre asking for like. snacks for instance, and not having that fear of being rude and having something taken away from him that esteban has, like his interactions with pierres family made me want to scream because like. the cautiousness and politeness like so so so real
estebans ENTIRE relationship with crying. AGGHHHH!!!!!
and pierre not understanding why he cant separate on and off track but like. estebans put his whole self into it in a different way to what pierre has, and just exactly what its like to be kind of. insular and awkward as a kid because that DOES follow you, his difficulties fitting in with his peer group etc etc
the playing COD together made me 😭😭😭 😭 ESPECIALLY when pierre was like dude was that ur mum??? and its like. in my head ratatouille flashback pierre and estebans parents. AND ESTEBAN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT AND HES LIKE… im inside now :) UGHRJFJ SOBBING
omfg and all the unsent texts when pierre got demoted… esteban im literally reaching thru the screen to make u press send sorry anyway. beautiful beautiful beautiful fic thank u so much!!!! mwah!!! <3
Thank u!! This is long so under the cut haha
ahhh that's amazing to hear 😭😭 I love when writing makes me feel like that so it's an honor to be able to do it for u!!! I'm really glad I was able to flesh out that world in a way that felt real!!! I was sort of debating whether to tag this fic as a bildungsroman or not (obv I didn't) because I didn't know if there was enough character change/on loss/psychological focus... like they grow up but i wanted to keep that raw competitive core and also keep the elements of - Pierre's parents saying they tried to protect his childhood, but he moved away so young. Esteban saying he grew up quick. Etc. like you said - 'insular and awkward'. the stuff about crying (este talking about crying after getting scratched from Australia 2019 testing with merc. It destroys me). It sneaks up on u. You never escape that!!! And if you do, you have to work for it!!!!
the triangulation of Charles/pierre/esteban is like. Everything to me. I need a proper messy love triangle. i need Charles pov on the whole thing. the way Charles is. he's in a different league than them and he knows it but he wants to be loved anyway...
i think also capturing how people interact with each other online is - hard. i literally just sketched out a Cinderella story au with @nicotineteeth lmao and i keep thinking about it like. about the idiot by batuman. how can you know someone so well online and not know how it will flesh out when you meet each other. can you talk past each other without realizing it. obv here - and in most of my fic - i try to stay in the present but even with relationships like that. i feel like saying things you mean in text is. almost even worse. that was the only scene in this whole fic where both pierre and esteban weren't there and i was honestly debating it but like that's a connection too. ok sorry to ramble about something so tangential haha.
I really appreciate ur message haha. Screenshotted and saved!! I'm very glad you enjoyed my little fic and I really enjoyed hearing ur comments!!! ❤️❤️
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sanchoyo · 2 years
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arc v 15-22 thoughts!!
-i forgot to say it last post, but i really really love the first op! and the ost in general is rly rly good. going to be very sad when they change the op eventually (prob around the ep 25-35 mark im guessing?) -its so funny yuya doesnt wear his school uniform at all except kinda slinging the jacket over his shoulders. all the other male students have pants that match their jacket! but fuck it hes the protag, he can wear his cargos I guess! -tbh glad shingo pointed out its unfair only yuya has pendulum cards, lol. true. (the fact yuya is upset reiji had them was bullshit! u have protag privilege! u dont even know where the cards came from! be more concerned about that!)
-shingo in general is kinda a Silly Guy and I like him more each time we see him. kinda just wanna see him and yuzu interact more too…when she yelled at him. and he still came up to tell yuya to stop eating gross infront of a 'lady'…hes a feminist king! -LMAO STRONG ISHIMA QUIT TO GO TRAIN OVERSEAS AFTER LOSING TO A 14 YR OLD. feel so bad for that guy ngl hope he comes back at some point -ok how did i not notice the xyz course student at lds has a big dipper head piece/star theme….thats SUCH a funny detail in reference to zexal? pls. not going to remember this charas name bc masumi is clearly the leader of their lil pack but I love it -very cool yuzu gets her own rival (assuming masumi will be?) and training arc moment, but also, she should already KNOW fusion! her dad! is a duel teacher! -sora being lke 'is this allowed? is this allowed?' when helping yuzu..LMAO whos boots are u licking. be an ally to yuzu and HELP her if she wants it -yuzu having a magical accessory like all the main ygo charas!! tbh shes the main character. To Me -yuyas mom having a million pets is SO CUTE. finally a protag with pets. and who is a clown. relatable. tho i dont like him rushing his mom to make pancakes or being fussy abt breakfast!! ur 14 dude just make ur own pancakes if u want some!!! good god
-the lil gang of kids that follow yuya around i am trying sooo hard not to be annoyed by them but by god are they annoying me anyway -MICHIOOOOO IS SO CUTE. FRECKLES. ALSO HE KNOWS HOW TO COOK!!! i love seeing hobbies outside of dueling in ygo lol. also his fans being housewives is like, kind of uncomfortable? his cards are cute tho, love the food theme. truly character of all time (I can already tell we'll probably never see him again RIP i hate ygo for making me attached to minor charas) -god this is so fucked up. duelists on motorcycles and xyz duelists shouldnt be fighitng they should be kissing -sora eating breakfast lunch and dinner at yuyas is so funny. freeloader king. but why did he put chocolate on sardines. what the fuck! -aaaaah yuzu not wanting to learn fusion from her dad is bc she feels like a burden to his school and feels protective over it? god her plight to get stronger and her mystery bracelet stuff IS SO much more interesting than w/e yuya's 'i have to duel 5 ppl to get in a tournament to become a pro' stuff is! shes fr the protag in my heart! -oh My God theyre putting people In The Cards. yugi grampa moment! reiji is SO chill about it like 'oh huh. ppl got sealed into cards. well, cant fix it just yet. huh. anyway. lets start working on that I Guess.' LIKE DUDE. sweet that he seems to actually care but hes SO calm -reiji's moms snake shoes fuck severely -reiji defending yuyas honor to the congressman dude is so sweet. he doesnt really KNOW yuya isnt behind any of the attacks (but like, we Know he Isnt) -…yuya admitted hes bad at science and math! a ygo protag whos bad at math!!! the duel disks must do damage calculation automatically lol, thank god for that -'yuya doesnt even know merci!!!!' boy hes not about to know mercy in this duel shut up. why would he need to know random french phrases theyre in japan arent they -ok. the whole thing nico told yuya 'its your JOB to make ppl happy as a pro, you HAVE to go beyond expectations'…feels very apt to compare this to a parasocial celeb type relationship situation. ppl always expect him to be Happy and Entertain them (and to an extent hes always playing into it…) it rly feels like a bad extension of the 'laugh when u want to cry!' emotional suppression and masking and it feels BAD man. feels like its going nowhere good! -yuzu and soras friendship is growing on me SO Much im gonna be SO mad when hes outed as a snake -masumi and yuzu moment!!!! gay asf to have a rival!!!! but god yuzu rly is being the protag for ME. she has a bff (sora) and a rival!!! dude!!! yuya ya girl is stealing the show for me!!!
- im sick of these MEN KNOCKING HER OUT OF THE WAY (LITRALLY THIS TIME) AAAH!!!! BITCH GO AWAY I WANTED TO SEE THE GIRLS DUEL!!! (syun?? ute??? these have to be mispellings of their names right. i googled them and its shun and yuto. which. yu name. 3rd protag after yuzu and yuya. better to call them this than 'emo yuya' lol) -anyway shun got punched in the stomach by yuto and CRUMBLED like a wet paper bag and yuto tossed him over his shoulder LMAO. and sora challenges him of course. HEAVEN FORBID we let yuzu duel here. christ she almost got to duel!!! we were so close!!! her bracelet seems to be just teleporting xyz boy all over the place -mieru and cathy would be besties omg her vibes! spooky lil tarot girl! (also, to enter the same tournament as yuya I assume shes at least 12-13 despite looking like. 9-10…right…since the younger kids made the comment they couldnt enter bc of their age…so her crush on yuya isnt actually So Weird right…sighs at anime always making girls look weirdly young) -BUT MIERU FOR REAL USING YGO CARDS FOR TAROT READINGS IS OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS JKDKJAHKJN OK GIRL!!! i want her to read my fortune or whatever like tell me what house my suns are in -'your future is wrapped in darkness' no shit hes a ygo protag! ofc he will go thru some shit! itll be fiiiine in the end tho girl im not worried. (she continues to hammer in the fact hes doomed and draws the tower for him LMAO)
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cherrykamado · 2 years
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Hi, first off I wanna say that I read your rules and I'm not sure if you don't want someone like me interacting but my age is in the link to my masterlist. But feel free to block me if you want, I won't be offended lol.
I know we don't really know each other so sorry if I say something that upsets you somehow.
This might be kinda long, sorry heh. It's kind of a rant too but I really needed to get this off my chest..
But thank you very much for that survey about the lack of interaction on Tumblr. The results from it and the discussions from you and other people has really opened my eyes about this place and just being a writer on the internet in general.
It made me really sad once I realized if I just stopped posting or left, people would most definitely just move on since there are plenty of other content to consume out there.
It's honestly making me think about switching careers from writing to art 💀
Idk if things will change no matter how much I beg for interaction and honestly, things might not ever get better/change.
I normally tend to think about my readers first. Of course I write for myself too but sharing my content with other people is part of the joy and happiness...
Whenever I'm writing the next chapter of my story, or just anything really, I get butterflies and my stomach churns with excitement about how my readers will react to it.
But once I post it and receive nothing, all that work and effort and energy just feels wasted. It makes me wonder if people are actually reading my stuff or enjoying it at all.
The thousand likes feel empty and meaningless after a while at this point.
I wonder if one of the other reasons readers don't wanna comment is because the writer might not reply to it and it feels like...there was no point in commenting? Idk, but I do try my best to reply to almost everyone's comment. It's just sometimes idk how to respond but I always read each reply left by someone 😔
Now, I'm one of those people who write a lot more than read on Tumblr and I do have a separate blog for reblogs but I only reblog the content that I personally loved and actually read.
And I think that's reasonable. I won't be able to consume all the content I find on here and I definitely won't enjoy all of them either. Just cause of personal preference.
However, I am kinda guilty when it comes to not commenting on other people's works. I always do a full dive on their blog to make sure I don't accidentally piss them off by interacting 😅
I need to do a better job at commenting though, I do.
Being a writer is tough. I want to delete my blog and never write again. But I love writing too much to abandon..
I'm currently on a break right now but I remembered your survey and I was like "oh right, I wanted to see the results."
So I logged back on just for you heh <3
But I'm still on break despite being here for this brief moment lol.
I still want to write but I'm not getting the feedback I need on Tumblr. Wattpad sucks and there a lot of minors there so that's kind of a no...AO3 might be the next best option but other than those places, I don't know where else to go. And it feels like my writing days are already over.
I can't write anymore without being sad these days so I'm going to mull it over during my break.
Hope you're doing okay during these tough times ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ♥︎ take care
HI HUN OFC NOT !! it's totally okay n i'm glad you're telling me what you think !! and also sobs u logged back on for me??? im so honored 🥺🥺
look, it's completely valid. what you feel is SUPER valid. it's not wrong to want attention for what you do, because even if you're writing for yourself, you share with others whom you know are going to like the same as you. and one seeks validation (i do seek validation!) and it's completely fine. it's not wrong at all to want it !! besides, you're posting something that took you hours, days, effort. and when that's not well appreciated it tends to hurt. it does.
and look i'm not perfect either !! ofc there might be some things i need to get better at, i need to reblog more and try to be better at giving feedback. i think that —and this is also something quite a number of ppl came up with in the survey— it's important to support each other amongst writers. yeah, we're not entitled, but since we like and appreciate when someone reblogs/comments/leaves some kind of feedback, i believe it's important we do it in return too!
there's a point i cannot stress enough and it's something i'm sure tons of writers in here struggle with, and that is the amount of interaction does not make you a better/worse writer, and certainly doesn't determine how talented you are.
surely, lack of interaction makes it hard to get it in mind, and it's discouraging overall, but i really do hope you realize you're talented regardless the amount of notes you get. and i really hope one day you can go back to writing again — for yourself. even if you don't post it. as long as it makes you happy.
i hug you tight tight and send u tons of love hunny<3<3
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kithtaehyung · 2 years
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RYEN?! oh my heart is so full its beating so fast?!
first off, I understand how yn feels when her friends tell her yoongi misses her, she knows but she chooses to have doubt. it’s hard to not have doubt in anything when you’re in a very tight situation! she’s an overthinker like me and I completely love her for that because it makes me feel less lonely 😭🤍 and the part where she was talking how it still would’ve been difficult if they were both together because people would give weird looks and bring up yoongi’s past hookups is so relatable, poor yn i wish them both the best :(
second, WOW what a plotwist .. did not expect any of that dude threat shit, and him being the same man from dalo? GOODNESS you are a genius in your writing! when yn started recapping moments where jimin and yoongi were being careful, my brain exploded from realization.
third, THE SMUT SCENE MY GOODNESS. when yn was being bold and said vulgar things I felt like I was yoongi at that moment because it got me screaming and the things yoongi said back made me MELT. these two are the best fuck duo change my mind.
fourth, DID YOU PLAN THIS WHOLE ENTIRE STORY OUT? I felt like I connected so many dots after reading this chapter. also! what did the dalo man exactly say when he was threatening yn? if we’re gonna find out soon then ill wait 😇 however I have a feeling that they weren’t so nice..
and last but not least, yn and bro’s sibling dynamic is so wholesome. im happy that its a sibling relationship where both are getting along but isn’t the most PERFECT relationship. it’s obvious that they have some flaws, but they’re able to recover from it sooner or later 🥹
CHEERS TO ANOTHER AMAZING CHAPTER,
- 🍷
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WINEEEEE omg thank you so much, babe!! You read the chapter already?? I’m honored and I love absolutely all of what you had to say, damn.
3tan is here to remind overthinkers that they aren’t alone, honestly🥺💕 And that there are people out there that will love and understand them no matter what. I’m glad it’s still relatable because I would need to have so many convos before my second guessing and doubt is really squashed🤕Especially if there’s past relationship trauma to deal with, too. 
SCREAM I’m glad the twist was a surprise!! Now everything is a lot different, huh? Whew, I’ve been wanting to reveal this since forever but I had to be super patient. Just imagining Yoongi being a silent but protective figure… Yeah. I wanted to show y’all that side of 3tan Yoongi so badly. For MONTHS‼️ I did plan that aspect out but still allowed myself enough freedom to build organically around it. I just knew to keep the backstory in mind while writing Stay through Dalo.
READER BEING VULGAR >>>>> honestly I don’t know if I wanted to be her or Yoongi in that scenario because LMAO??? FCK?? I can just imagine his reaction and I’m crumbling again.. The second he gets his chance…….. I dunno if we are prepared for that🥴🥴🥴
And I was wanting to show y’all the sibling dynamic for awhile now, too. It’s refreshing to finally work with bro and his mark on the storyline! We’ll see a lot more of him down the line so I hope you enjoy that, too🍊💕 THANK YOUUUU this was such great commentary!
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ttearsofthekingdom · 5 days
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oh my god did i not even post about GEMINI yesterday. hello. is this thing on
AAAAAAAAA ok 1st off i literally had more trouble with the 4 leaplashers/longleg/plowhorn than the shatterspine :/ but it was cool to see a shatterspine! i still think frostclaws/fireclaws are the scariest of the mega-machines though.
the part in the beginning where theyre all riding together towards their cauldrons reminded me so much of RDR2 😔 i really hope Horizon 3 has ride-along sections like Red Dead...
🥺🥺🥺 Aloy and Beta finishing each others sentences while talking about bypassing the thingy ❤️ theyre besties your honor
the big sad happened..... I MISS VARL ...and the funeral with Zo later had me actually crying 😭❤️ Aloy vowing to Varl to protect Zo and her baby was so sweet
equally devastating was Aloy's promise and watching her break it. i know she wanted to do but she couldnt lose anyone anymore. shes very clearly just getting over Rost (all thanks to Varl 😭) and is bottling up all of her angst to focus on GAIA. She's lost a lot of people over the course of ZD and FW so i just dont think she ever would have been able to take that shot. i dont blame her for breaking her promise but it was still such a tragic moment. and im glad that Beta understands and still works with her in the Tilda house scene despite that. Seeing Beta get some of that Sobeck courage has been so lovely. which leads me to...
"That is between me and my sister." YES QUEENS!!!!!! THATS MY GIRL!!!! Aloy has virtually never had a moment of privacy in her entire life (between Sylens and Tilda's spying, and the GAIA crew honestly) so id imagine it was pretty fucking empowering for her to say that. Also !!!!!!!! THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!!!! Going from Aloy despising Beta because shes just not Aloy 2 to this is so... I dont even know how to describe it but its so good. Again, all thanks to Varl 😭❤️
ok can i talk about Tilda for a second. fascinating character but every time she appears its literally a white woman jumpscare. she literally weaponized white woman jumpscare to save Aloy lmfao. I really like her motivations boiling down to "i wanted a second chance" like thats so fucked honestly. can we talk about this? its not about doing the right thing its about her being so in love with Elizabet that she will help her clone daughters do whatever. thats just so indicative of how fucked up the Zeniths are honestly. also, her anti-relationship with Sylens was fucking hilarious too (WORSTIES ❤️)
WINGS OF THE TEN....!!! Sick as fuck quest honestly. I will never fast travel again (lying) because that Sunwing mount is so badass. Also the fight was Regalla.... I assumed it would be melee and bow only but then Regalla started pulling out plasma and ice arrows 💀 nvm bitch. Was so satisfying to see Kotallo kill her. I love Regalla (literally fell in love with her at first sight) but she had to go. It wasnt a matter of sparing her to shame her again, it was stopping Sylen's plan tbqh. Im not about to let him lead hundreds to their deaths as a distraction. And Im sure everyone there was chomping at the bit to do it. I.... wouldnt be surprised if you pick the spare option if he just kills her anyway.... ill have to look that up later.
OK thats all i have to say for now... ill spend the next like idfk week doing housekeeping and clearing out the side quests and such. i tried out the melee pits 👎👎👎 vile honestly. like genuinely the worst thing in this gane. machine strike wasnt as bad as the melee pits. ok now thats all bye
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hi hi its me u know that pink fan who dumped too many words in one comment instead of spreading it out by chapter like a normal person lmao
(psst it was to lure u into giving spoilers accidentally but damn it didnt work இ௰இ)
can i say im an og fan of yours??? i really really loved ur iwft series at first sight since im also more or less an emmet simp and at that time your iwft story was a sight for sore eyes! amidst all the angst and pain, a fun bamf emmet story was something i needed! and then you continued to pump out masterpieces one after another and as you can tell i've been ummmm verrry aware of you like keeping an eye out for something new from you aware-aware haha *refreshes subscription list like a maniac*
and oh i was not being anonymous at all as i thought haha (tbh i feel kinda honored you know me even as far back as my roxana phase the world needs more roxana tbh badass bitches rule my manhwa list btw have u also read the princess 's doll shop its my pfp i love her ヾ(≧▽≦*)o)
i dont usually comment in my favorite authors' stories (tho i should probably do it more often) but when i do its going to be more or less an avalanche of words
actually i do have more thoughts about wonderland simmering in my head but i didn't include it bc i was almost at ao3 character limit lmao so i'll just say it here
i wanted to include ghetsis in my speculations bc i feel like he had a hand in whatever issue the king was having and probably pushed the rift between nobori and kudari. we haven't heard from him yet so its a sneaking suspicion 🤔 i also wanted to include allusions to kyurem since i mentioned the forest of mirrors as a boundary between wonderland and the real world and guess who's the boundary pokemon idk bulbapedia said it was a husk pokemon idk who that is *wink wink nudge nudge* and since our resident amnesiac kudari was there maybe it means something? i also wanted to make some comparisons between kyurem and the king but i felt it was getting wayyy out of hand hehe
also also as you can probably tell i believe that wonderland is very much a real place but it is also a product of a dream since gen 5 had that dream world mechanic dunno how that's gonna fit in the story but its a nice thought
i also have thoughts on the memory hall and why the king restricted the place and why ingo got like conflicting memories but i am running out of words i need to soak my brain somewhere else first byeee have a nice day/night!!!
Hello, pink one! Good to hear/read from you again! I verrrry much appreciated the long comment in the latest Wonderland chapter! :D
(Heheh, gotta keep the secrets hidden~ It's kinda hard to reply to comments without accidentally revealing things lol)
I'm delighted to meet another Emmet simp! One of the big motivators behind 'I wish for truth' was for Emmet to not be a sad sad angsty depressed boy for once. Hence, him being a mysterious, powered up, bamf lol. I'm so very glad my story was able to provide that break from the *angst* that I myself was looking for.
I'm honoured to have someone so aware of my works! Communication on AO3 is relatively limited and I don't get much feedback aside from what's available on there (and social media ain't really my thing), so it's nice to know that there are people who notice and appreciate. The concept of having fans is still somewhat foreign to me cos all I'm doing is writing stuff... (that's all self-indulgent lolol). (btw, I still haven't shaken my habit of refreshing the Emmet tag on AO3 several times a day)
I will admit that my first moments of being a writer on AO3 were verrry... stalker-y? I'd just look at the profiles of anyone who kudo-ed or bookmarked my stuff, which is probably not that creepy? idk XD (I looove Roxana, she's so cool and gosh the art in that manwha is soooo pretty. Oh, I haven't heard of princess' doll shop! I'll definitely give it a look! Thank you for the rec~)
I don't usually comment on stuff much either (bc I'm kinda bad at doing that). So I'm honoured you decided to leave such a detailed, in-depth comment on my work! Thank youuuuu~♡
Oh, I was wondering if you were almost to the limit on AO3's commenting system. It was quite the essay! :D
Now onto Ingo in Wonderland:
Ohhh, speculations regarding gen5 stuff! Ghetsis and Kyurem and dreams hmm? Interesting thoughts you have there~
We'll just have to wait and see if the mysteries of Wonderland will ever come to light... (I have a lotta lore in my head but it doesn't always get onto the paper/document screen)
Oh, I'm excited to read your thoughts/speculations on the whole memory mess! I'll be waiting here (im)patiently~ (>w<)
Thank you for the ask! A good day to you too!
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alreadyblondenow · 3 years
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Sweet | Jung Jaehyun
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❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |
Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  
Word count: 13,707k
Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 
A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​
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Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.
Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.
“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.
“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.
The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”
“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”
“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.
And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.
“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.
“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.
“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”
And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.
When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.
“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.
“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”
“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“
“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.
The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.
Eight years ago  
“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  
Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.
“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.
“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.
“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.
As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.
And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.
“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.
The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.
At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.
“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.
“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.
As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.
“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.
In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.
You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.
“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.
Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.
Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.
Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.
And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.
He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.
"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  
If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.
You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.
For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.
Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.
Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.
As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.
“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.
The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  
“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.
But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.
“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“
And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  
When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.
For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”
Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.
“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”
You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.
“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.
He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.
He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.
“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.
“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.
“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”
“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.
“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.
Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.
“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.
Thrust
Thrust
Thrust
He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.
While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.
“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.
“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.
“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.
To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.
On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.
You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.
Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.
Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.
It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.
“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.
“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.
“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“
“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.
Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.
During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.
Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.
You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.
It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.
Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.
Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.
“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.
Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.
For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  
Senior year
In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.
“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.
“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-��
“Stop it with your nonsense John”
“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.
“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.
Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“
“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  
“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.
“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.
“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.
“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.
Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.
The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.
After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”
Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?
Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.
“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.
“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.
Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.
Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.
“Your ears are red,” you teased him.
“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  
“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.
This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.
“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.
“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.
“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.
“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”
And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.
Then,
“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”
And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.
On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.
“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”
There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.
“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.
You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.
When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.
“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.
The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.
“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.
Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.
Finally. You both thought.
But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.
Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.
Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.
He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.
And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.
“I missed you too” finally you said it.
He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.
“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.
“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.
You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.
“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.
“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”
The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.
When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.
“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”
“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.
“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.
But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.
He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.
It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.
“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”
You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.
“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.
“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”
“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.
The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.
Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.
Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.
And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.
Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.
“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.
“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.
Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.
Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.
This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.
“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.
After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.
“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.
“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.
“And?”
“I’ll miss you”
Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.
He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.
You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  
The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.
“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.
“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  
“Good. Y/n is on her period”
“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.
“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“
“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”
When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.
“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.
“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.
“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.
“Google says sex is good when-“
“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.
“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.
“I am” you admitted
“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.
“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.
Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.
“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.
“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.
“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.
“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.
While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.
The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.
Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.
“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.
“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.
“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”
“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.
“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.
“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...
“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”
“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”
“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.
“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.
The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.
Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.
After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.
“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.
“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”
“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.
“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”
The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.
You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“
“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.
“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.
“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”
“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.
The fight was short but unforgettable.
Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.
“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.
You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.
FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)
It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.
When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.
You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.
When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.
“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.
But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.
“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.
Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.
“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”
But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.
BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR
“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”
And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.
All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.
Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.
Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.
Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.
While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.
“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.
“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.
“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.
Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room
“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.
And so he did.
He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.
Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  
As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.
“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.
“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.
“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.
When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.
“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.
“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?
The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.
On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.
Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.
Five years later
When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.
“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.
“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.
“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.
“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.
“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.
“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”
“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.
“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.
“Sorry, that was so childish of me”
“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”
Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.
But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.
“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.
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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years
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Never Have I Ever - Harry Styles
this is very random and just a lil somethin’, bc i secretly dream about being on one of these shows and meeting one of my crushes lmao, not me pretending to be at an interview in my own kitchen, hah, not at all!
hi hello so im adding this after this was posted. i randomly turned this into a series so you can find further parts for this in the series masterpost!
word count: 1.8k
pairing: Harry x actress!reader
SERIES MASTERPOST
masterlist
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“It’s so good to have you here, it’s been quite some time since the last time you sat in this chair, am I right?” Ellen asked with a warm smile as you nodded.
“Yeah, I’ve been busy, I guess,” you chuckle tugging your hair behind your ear.
“I mean, of course. You starred in two movies since then and even got nominated for an Emmy as well for your role in The Umbrella Academy!” she lists and the audience starts cheering on your successes. “Of course you’ve been busy, but I’m glad you had time to drop by for a talk. So, let’s talk about your upcoming movie. You’ll be co-stars with Zendaya and Finn Wolfhard, it’s a quite interesting cast.”
“Yes! I’m very excited to work with them, I just met Zendaya the other day and though I’M yet to meet Finn I’m sure we will get along well.”
“What was your first impression about Zendaya?”
“Oh, she is very sweet and funny, I think working with her will be more like just a fun activity,” you admit chuckling and Ellen nods in agreement.
“I bet. Alright. So let’s talk about quarantine, it was a rather huge part of the year, where did you spend it?”
“I went home to my family, so I quarantined with them in my hometown.”
“And what did you do mostly?”
“We played a lot of board games and my mom taught me to cook,” you admit with a shy chuckle.
“Yeah, we had the luck to see parts of that,” Ellen chuckles as a video of you and your mom in the kitchen appears on the big screen behind you. It was posted to your Instagram when she attempted to teach you how to make her famous meatloaf. “It seems like you are a natural talent in the kitchen.”
“Well, I haven’t burned it down, so it’s going fine,” you chuckle.
“Alright, and what else did you do? Seen any good movies or discovered some new artists in the world of music?”
“Oh, absolutely. I definitely watched everything I’ve been postponing and I got to listen to new music, so now I have a few new favorites,” you admit smiling.
“Have you been listening to Harry Styles lately?” she asks and you find the question a little odd and very… specific.
“I mean, yes, but it wasn’t anything new, I really like his music,” you admit truthfully. “He is a great artist for sure.”
“Have you been at any of his concerts by any chance?” she asks and you notice that the audience is getting a little excited over something, but you don’t pay too much attention to it.
“Not yet, but I hope it’s gonna happen one day.”
“Well, I think I can get you tickets to see him,” a voice speaks up from behind you and immediately, the audience starts cheering as your head snaps around and you see none other than Harry Styles standing behind you. Your mouth hangs open as you feel yourself blushing, he is so tall and handsome, dressed in a bright blue suit with a silver shirt underneath, smiling down at you widely as he walks around the armchairs to greet you.
“Oh shit, I was not expecting this,” you breathe out as you stand up and hug him shortly before he moves over to greet Ellen as well.
“’M glad you like my music, Love,” he smiles as he sits in the armchair next to you and you swear you see him wink at you.
“We thought you wouldn’t mind our other guest joining in,” Ellen explains Harry’s appearance.
“Not at all,” you smile shaking your head. Harry has been your celebrity crush for quite a while, but the two of you just never crossed paths, until now.
“’S very nice to meet yeh,” he nods in your way.
“Same goes for you.”
“Okay, so now that Harry is here, I thought that we could play a little game,” Ellen announces reaching for something next to her armchair.
“Oh man,” you breathe out earning a round of laughter from the audience. “Last time we played something you asked me the most embarrassing burning questions!” you whine thinking back how you had to admit that you sleep with your lights on when it’s raining outside.
“We’ll do something similar this time too,” she chuckles before handing out two round boards to you and Harry as well.
“Oh fo’ fuck’s sake!” Harry groans making the audience laugh again. “Not this!”
“I know you loved it when we played it the last time,” Ellen grins as Harry hides his face behind the board that’s now showing his I HAVE sign towards the cameras. “We’re gonna play Never Have I Ever, I think you both know the rules.”
“Yes, this is why I want to run away now,” you mumble under your breath.
“I’m going with yeh,” Harry smirks at you finally letting his board drop to his knees. Seemingly, the audience is enjoying your misery.
“Don’t be babies, it’s gonna be fun!” “For who? Not me!” Harry exclaims making everyone in the studio laugh. “Should’ve asked what we’re gonna do before I said yes.”
“Too late, Harry. Alright, let’s start,” Ellen announces as she takes her card in her hands, picking the first one and she reads the lines on it. “Never have I ever had a crush on someone I worked with.”
You huff as you turn your board so the I HAVE side is facing the camera, while Ellen has the same side showing, but Harry shows the I HAVE NEVER.
“Never?” you ask Harry.
“Well, what do yeh mean by working with?” he asks with narrow eyes as he taps on his chin.
“Anyone you had any relations with through a job.”
“Well then…” he sighs turning the board, earning some cheering.
“Okay. Never have I ever drunk texted someone and regretted it in the morning,” Ellen continues with the next question.
“Oh, too often,” you blurt out holding up the I HAVE side.
“What did yeh write?” Harry asks with a cheeky smile while he holds up the same side.
“Well, there are just too many, I can’t choose,” you admit laughing. “I often tend to write down my feelings when I had a little too much to drink and then send it without a second thought.”
“Then I better get yeh drunk to find out what yeh think about me,” Harry teases and you hear a loud “ooh” coming from the audience while you can only hope your make up covers the blush on your cheeks.
“I’d need your number for that to happen,” you say arching an eyebrow at him.
“That’s something we can easily fix,” he smirks.
“Okay, before the two of you go on your first date right away, let’s finish the game,” Ellen jokes and you both turn to her. “Never have I ever kissed someone I didn’t know.”
“What do you mean by knowing someone?” you ask to clarify.
“Let’s say you didn’t even know their name,” she adds and as you think about it, you hold up the I HAVE NEVER side first, but then flip it over.
“Oh, something popped into yeh mind?” Harry teases while he holds up the I HAVE side as well.
“I guess I just want to forget about it, but I can’t,” you admit chuckling awkwardly.
“Were you drunk or you just didn’t care to ask for their name?” Ellen questions.
“I’ve had quite a few drinks if I’m being honest. But I think he told me his name, I just didn’t catch it,” you admit.
“Poor guy, he is completely forgotten,” Harry chimes in shaking his head in a dramatic way.
“Alright, we have two more questions. Never have I ever had a friend with benefits.”
“This game sucks!” you snap as you hold up the I HAVE side, making the audience laugh. “You’re making me look like such a bad person!” you whine to Ellen.
“Don’t feel so bad, Harry is in the same shoe!” she chuckles and turning to the man on your right you see that Harry has the same side showing and a very cheeky smirk on his lips.
“How did it end?” you ask out of curiosity. You know how yours ended, in a horrible fight, because he wanted more, but you were in it just for the fun.
“Not in the best way, if I’m bein’ honest,” he clears his throat leaning back in his seat. “How about yours?”
“Same,” you nod chuckling.
“I guess it was a learning lesson for the both of you,” Ellen smirks before reading the last question. “Never have I ever ghosted somebody.”
“Shit,” you mumble, trying to hide your smirk as you hold up the I HAVE side. Harry thinks to himself before doing the same. Leaning forward he checks yours and your eyes meet for a moment.
“I think it would be an honor to anyone to be ghosted by yeh,” he teases you making you roll your eyes. “Wha’? ‘M telling the truth!” he chuckles.
“Wanna get on the list of my ghosted people?” you joke raising your eyebrows at him and he immediately holds his hands up.
“Would rather not.” He places a hand over his heart before smiling in your way sweetly. “Tha’ would break m’ heart.”
“Oh come on!” you chuckle feeling the heat crawling up your neck and cheeks as the audience lets out a soft “aww” at his words.
“Alright, thank you for playing, I think we found out some interesting things about the both of you.”
“Thanks for embarrassing us,” you add mumbling as you hand her back the board.
“It was a pleasure,” she chuckles. “We’ll be right back after a short break, please stay with us, we have more from Y/N and Harry coming right in your way, so stay tuned!” she announces as the crowd cheers.
“Friends with benefits, huh?” Harry asks smirking in your way as you fix your dress. You just shrug your shoulder trying to look casual when you feel so intimidated sitting next to him.
“Had to try it, I guess,” you admit.
“I get it,” he chuckles. “So, if I were to ask for yeh number, would I eventually be ghosted as well?”
You have to bite into your bottom lip to hide your growing smile at his attempt to flirt with you.
“We’ll see. You gotta ask for it first,” you tell him with a knowing smile, hoping to look flirty and light, not the nervous wreck that you truly feel like talking to him.
“I think my dressing room is two doors down yours, so expect me to drop by after this,” he smirks, making your heart skip a beat before Ellen starts speaking and the taping continues.
NEXT PART
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kimnjss · 2 years
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WOOO GIRL so much to unpack !! let me just start by saying that i fuck w this tae & yn heavy like … they’re giving endgame, they’re giving soulmates . idk if it’s the nostalgia from the little childhood moments growing up together (like the tree scene was SO CUTEEE) but i just feel like that level of comfort and familiarity they developed w each other over so many years means a lot, esp bc friendships sometimes fall apart and don’t last that long . AND I WAS RIGHT abt jikook being the mirror couple i KNEW it !! lmaoo but no that jikook bomb u dropped … im shaking in my boots like WHAT !!! it actually makes sense but ,,, im still crying bc i love them :”) AND LET ME GET INTO THIS NEW JOON LOVE INTEREST OKAY !! i already know she’s another hottie and i love to see it 🙌🏼 let’s just hope he doesn’t fumble the bag 😷
no but ACTUALLY,,, i think one of the reasons i feel so much for this couple is rlly like … when i read abt yn and the 17 yr old, she reminds me so much of myself and i literally identify w her, but i also understand tae too and he just feels rlly familiar . how valuable it is to have a friend like tae when ur like yn and vice versa … im just rooting for them ur honor :”)
the fact that they have so many pleasant memories together as kids definitely has a lot to do w how easy it was for them to get right back into the swing of things . right now ., they're not really thinking so much abt what's going to happen for them in the future - nd really just riding the high of being together again after all of this time . so it should be very interesting when they're having to deal with the big questions that taehyung seems to be pushing until the end of the summer . BUUT !! in the meantime we get to see all their cute moments that they shared before things were falling apart between them . nd there are so many of them !!
OOOH ! also you were sooo right abt jikook ., when i read that i was like 😳 . but yn is definitely a lot like jimin as we know - but jungkook and tae are very similar too . more in terms of how they treat the people that they love ., nd how they show their love too . jimin was so quick to forgive jungkook when it came down to it ., but bc jungkook knows that - he's still working to earn his forgiveness ., bc he feels like he (jimin) hasn't fully thought it over yet . same idea with taehyung nd yn .
ND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE GIRL JIMIN BROUGHT ALONG LMAOOO . that was way too calculated for that to be a coincidence . the man knew exactly what he's doing !! but joon left pretty quickly ., so he couldn't have had any complaints . hopefully it'll be enough to keep his mind off of yn ., bc she's REAL focused on tae right now .
young yn was jus the sweetest :(( she's a lot like how she is now ., but just a tad bit more naive - but at the same time extremely confident??? so great that she had taehyung to steer her correctly tho bc she definitely need him for the nudge in the right direction . i'm so glad that you can relate to her tho !! i had a lot of fun creating her character !!
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tetsustation · 3 years
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APPRECIATION POST !!
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in another words, lina loves her friends a little too much & doesn’t necessarily know the right means of expressing it </3
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cass [ @misutv ] — uh im in a sappy mood so if you’re not rockin with the sap please scroll! epic, okay. hi... lol hey. thanks for pushing me to do this. now i know you know that i love you, with my chest! from when we first started talking to all these months later, that feeling hasn’t changed (even though you took two months ALLEGEDLY to warm up). i think our friendship is unique in the sense that i really never expect anything from you, when we’re on the phone or texting it feels natural and when i think of you my first thought is that i want whats best for you. isn’t that crazy? i don’t think i say it enough, but i care a lot about you—about all of you, whatever your feeling at any given moment or whatever project you chose to pursue at the time just know i’m there to back it and never expect anything from you, besides just that—you. i hope this is making some sense, knowing me this might be a bit of a mess, a ramble even. still, i think your exceptional—inside out, i’m really glad to be your best friend even if its just through some silly little app. i appreciate everything you do for me, even if i’m shit at saying so, because its baffling that you feel so inclined to dedicate some time in your day to me—i could melt i think. fair warning, i’m gonna crush your lungs at the airport. all my love loser >:)
hesther [ @hesthermay ] — how many months has it been now? hesther, you are such a solid constant in my life and i literally cannot thank you enough. from our strangely comparative music taste to the oldest sister bonding, i really feel like your the one person i can really resonate with that i haven’t met in person (yet). even if it’s weird to say, i love reading your marvel drabbles and personal pieces because it’s oddly intimate in personal in a way that implies a lot of trust. i know i can rely on you if i need anything, and vice versa. every week i pull you into my world, and the next week you pull me into yours—it’s an entertaining constant that remains me i’m not alone in my silly little struggles. i’m really glad i met you, and i’m so grateful i get to call you my friends (and i get butterflies when you call me butterfly). not to be gross but please don’t stop being you, it makes me smile, thanks hes <3 love you. 
selene [ @hajigumi ] — hey whore (lovingly). we’re coming onto two months now and it doesn’t really feel like it but i guess i’ll take it. honestly, it feels like we’ve known each other for a really long time—maybe its the same timezone thing but you just feel so familiar. i get a little skippy when you tell me that i’m stuck with you because i really love being your friend, its such a comforting experience and i’ve grown such a fondness for you i don’t think will fade. you suck, frankly, for being so welcoming. i love hearing about your day, boring or not—and i’m grateful your always willing to be about mine. despite what anyone says, your a great cat mom and an even better friend... giggles... love you mwah.  
ly [ @kyotarou ] — i almost typed out the govt name help... babe i love you so much. it’s impressive how you put your heart into everything you do, and it’s really shocking to me when you yourself don’t realize just how much of yourself you put into the things you do. just today when you were making those little polaroids, the dedication that you had to finish them and package them all pretty was truly heartwarming. that, among many other things—including your work which is always quality despite the seemingly mass production of it. i know your younger than me, but i aspire to be like you in that respect. your wit never ceases to amaze me and i think you were one of the first people i felt comfortable thirsting with because our taste is so similar (daishou fucker solidarity i think). i have such a strong appreciation for you as a friend and i hope it stays like that for a long time. 
angela [ @oikirstein ] — i think i’m gonna take a step in the right direction and try to be civil (kidding) but bestie when you’re sending audio messages of you scream sobbing about manhwa i can’t help but giggle. something that drew me into you was your humor, because honestly, i couldn’t help but feel really comfortable with you? even one on one, its just easy to talk with you because theres always so much on your mind—so much so that it’d be impossible to be bored. NO YOU KNOW WHAT SIDETRACKING BECAUSE YOU JUST CALLED ME THE EVIL TWIN UM. angela please never change, i don’t think i could bare it. i tolerate (love) you... ig....stay swag. 
violetta [ @hikariakaashi ] — once again i am tempted to pull out the govt name HELP. that’s just how comfortable we are with each other, i think. you were one of the first people to interact with me on hq tumblr, so far back that you probably remember my red/black alyssa layout lol—but thats really shocking to me because our friendship has grown so much sense then. it makes me giggle to think that i can just text you about stupid stuff and you’d tolerate it. you’re another person i feel as though i know in real life, its just so easy talking to each other, and my only hope is that we get even closer. mwah mwah!
rissie [ @levbug ] —rissie rissie rissie! i don’t care how much we slander and tease you, i love you to bits. please because you’re so funny and easy to talk to i feel like we’re besties. i could listen to you ramble for like an hour i just wanna hug you bae, thank you for being the only armin lover in the room—it makes me feel very seen. we gotta stick together >:)
rheya [ @diorpieck ] — hey rheya twirls hair...i really have a lot to thank you for because without hq radio i wouldn’t have met over half the people on this list and it baffles me how close we’ve become since. you are such a natural leader and i feel so honored i get to talk to you (the fact that you handle me is just as surprising). thanks for looking out for me and everyone else, because i don’t think we’d be where we are without you. thank you :>
jade [ @iwaizoom ] — jade i honestly do not know how to say this but apparently i’ve followed you since like last july (this is news to me too) and i’ll spare you the speech—but in short there was some fan behavior. i truly love talking to you, its so smooth and your energy is beyond welcoming. laughing at stupid shit with you makes me giggle like crazy and i’m so glad i get to call you a friend. stay in school mwah!
issy [ @cafemiya ] — hey pissie <3 i don’t know what it is but your presence is so comforting i love just talking to you, being around you, interacting—it feels like spring if that makes sense. you’ve written a lot of my comfort fics on this hellsite and for that i am permanently indebted to you. please consider this the start of my reparations and just know your existence in and of itself makes me all bubbly (lovingly) KISS! 
nayru [ @luvoratomi ] — i feel like we’ve known each other forever even though it’s only been a few months. still, you’re so consistent which is something i really admire about you, your messages to ask me about my day or hanging out in the discord is so grounding because i know i can count on you—which sounds silly but just know despite the teasing i love you a lot <3
cal [ @lovekags ] — don’t tell anyone but you’re my favorite epic gamer cal, i know we just started getting close but you’re so incredibly cool and talking to you feels so natural! your raw skill in so many different areas is baffling to me and makes me all blushy lol, thanks for rockin with me and i can’t wait to see how that powerpoint turns out >:)!!  
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mashiraostail · 4 years
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can I get anything for toshinori with a s/o who is very affectionate but also very shy about being affectionate? like they don't want to make him uncomfortable so they always ask before initiating any kind of touch or intimacy? ("is it okay if we hold hands?" "can I kiss you?" "are you okay with me hugging you?")
True ass story I was writing this in my browser and then I accidentally went back and I lost it all which is why it took forever im so sorry plz forgive! This was really cute though so I was excited to rewrite and work in some new ideas I had while I festered about it! Thanks for the ask I hope you like (:  
It doesn’t bother him, really it doesn’t. It just confuses him. He figures you were just raised that way, to be really respectful of people’s personal space, he understood it could be a cultural thing so maybe it was that. Plus you knew about his injury, maybe you were just worried about hurting him, or at least irritating the scar, and he appreciates the caution you seem to always take with him, it was an offer few others extended. But still, it’d been a while and you were still so cautious with him, for no obvious reason... “Do you mind if I sit here?” He looks up from the book he’s reading, and then down to the cushion beside him, the one you were pointing at.  “Of course not, you don’t even have to ask.” He smiles at you reassuringly and you sit, close enough to him that you’re mostly touching.  “What are you reading?” You peer over into his lap and he hums.  “It’s actually kind of boring. Some memoirs, I was thinking of using them for class, but I’m worried some of my students wouldn’t be able to get through some of these. For as strong as they all are...” He sighs, “well attention spans are something we might have to tackle another time.” He’s fiddling a page between his forefinger and thumb, he grins a little when you chuckle.  “They can’t be that bad, can they?”  “Maybe I’m underestimating them. But with things like this, I’d rather be safe than sorry.” He waves with his free hand and you hum, “am I distracting you? Sorry.” He sits up a little at that. “No, no you aren’t at all really, it was getting too empty in here. I’m glad to have you.” You look up at him and nod, “okay good...could I..” You trail off but your eyes are at his shoulder, taking in the space between his arm, and your head.  “Oh. Sure go ahead.” You seem relieved to lean your weight on him. This is what confuses him, he’s made it abundantly clear he doesn’t mind how close you want to get or how often you want to be that close, which considering how much you asked was pretty often. At first, he worried he did something to make it seem like he didn’t want you close to him so often, you asked all the time, even tiny things, things he’d never think twice about. You’d brush the back of your hands and look up at him, waiting for him to take your’s first and press your palms together, tangling your fingers with his. You’d say his name and wait for him to invite you in. Every shift in your position was run by him before it happened, he’s never said no to you, not even once, but still, you asked. Standing just in front of him you’d voice a quiet, “Toshi is it okay if I..” You’d trail off and wait for him to pull you down into his lap, or to wrap an arm around you, to kiss you, whatever it was.  He wasn’t worried you didn’t like being close, it was clear you did. Even now, slowly and somewhat timidly you’d migrated from just leaning on his arm as he read to this; book fully discarded and in your old seat, now on his lap, a leg on either side of him, arms around his neck, a hand in his hair, foreheads pressed together and your eyes were closed, blissfully. You looked so content, so comfortable with him so close, he didn’t know why you asked every time you moved or apologized for disturbing him even when you hadn’t. “Can I kiss you?” You’d opened your eyes to look between his and his lips as you asked.  “You really don’t have to ask.” He insists, holding your waist.  “I just don’t wanna be a bother.” You lament back and he frowns at you. “You could never bother me, not with stuff like this, seriously. You shouldn’t worry so much about this sort of thing, it’s bad for your health.” He squeezes your sides reassuringly.  “I just don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” You push and he shakes his head. “I appreciate that, but my injury isn’t-” “I don’t mean like that! Well..I guess I mean like that too but more than that I just..I don’t wanna do too much you know? Seem clingy..or..make you feel like you have to entertain me when you don’t want to when you don’t feel like it...” He looks at you surprised for a moment, in silence, he’s unsure of what to say and he’s clearly pondering it.  “I..”  “It’s stupid I’m sorry I brought it up-”  “Technically I brought it up.” He shakes his head, “and don’t be sorry. If that’s how you feel we should talk about it. You don’t seem clingy, and even if you were I wouldn’t mind. I like being close to you just as much as you like being close to me. Maybe even more.” He promises you, looking down at your fingers where they start to fiddle with his shirt collar. “And I don’t feel like I’m just...entertaining you. I enjoy this sort of thing too, it’s relaxing and I always feel better after spending time with you. I want it too, I always want it. Seriously. The answer is always going to be yes. Get it?” “I get it..” You nod, your eyes cast up to his.  “Good..I love you, I love being with you, you shouldn’t worry about things like that. I hope I didn’t do anything to make you think-”  “No! No, really it’s just..all in my own head I guess...” You sigh and shake your head, “I need to break out of all this shyness I know it’s probably tiring-” “Stop talking down to yourself, seriously. If I was tired of it I’d say so, trust me you’d know. I just want to talk to you, make sure everything is alright.” You just nod at that and hum in affirmation.  “Didn’t you say you were gonna kiss me? Really it’s not the closeness that bothers me it’s the lying.”  “Huh?!” You jump, “I didn’t lie! I was going to kiss you and then you started talking to me! It would have been rude!”  “It’s the excuses too.” He’s laughing, though, pinching your sides and enjoying the obvious fluster on your cheeks.  “I’m not making excuses! You could kiss me too you know! It’s not like it’s a one-way street anyways!”  “You asked, I figured you wanted to do the honors, but if you’re feeling shy then I guess I wouldn’t mind picking up your slack.”  “I’m not!” You insist, maybe a bit petulantly.  “Well then...” He can practically feel the heat radiating off your face. “I-” You look away from him and cup your burning cheek in your marginally cooler palm, “guys like you shouldn’t be so charming. I mean honestly-” “Lying, excuses, and now insults. It’s looking worse and worse for you.” The grin on his face is unmistakable though. “It wasn’t an insult!” “I guess it doesn’t matter,” he does occasionally feel bad for working you up so much, “I could let it go if you just kiss me now.”
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cottoncandyjester · 3 years
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Which of your ocs would go to therapy for or with their darling? How much effort would they actually put into it?
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This is like tricking your dog into going to the vet.. y'all are evil
This story contains: them talking about their dark past, incest(twins), talk of sex
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Theodore
Absolutely not.
He's a doctor so he would argue that he would know his own body pretty well
"i don't need therapy sweetie, I'm mentally healthy"
This is the same man who flinches at the sight of a butcher knife and has so much mental trauma he still gets scared touching you
If you beg he'll do it though..of course he'll be passive aggressive but he'll go.
Tries to out logic the damn therapist
"so theodore, describe your childhood"
Theodore pushed his glasses up and clears his throat, this was definitely not going to be good. "I'm well aware that a person's childhood shapes their mental state but I assure you this is a waste of time."
"theo, let them help y-" you shuddered at the sharp glance theodore gave you. You've never seen him so aggressive before but it was clear he wasnt having fun. He hated the thought of someone analyzing his every movements and play with his head since it's something he does to you so having it done to him is less fun. "I assure you, I'm mentally sound..nothing is wrong with me"
"alright well, how about we talk about your childhood anyways just chatting nothing serious?"
Theodore scowled before glancing your way, you were doing this cause you loved him..so he should go along with this right?
Hikaru
You have to trick him
You brought it up once and he lashed out at you so badly he actually hurt you pretty bad
You told him you wanted to shopping but when he saw you two were infront of a building that definitely wasn't a mall he was PISSED
He was about two seconds away from hitting you but he saw how much you wanted to help him so he gave it a shock
Aggressive as all hell
He couldn't believe he was here, a group therapy session for victims of sexual abuse. The male sat there in his expensive clothes with his diamond encrusted shades on a scowl on his face.
"so, would you like to introduce yourself and tell us why you're here?" You flinched lightly at the single question the therapist asked before glancing at hikaru who in his legs and pushed his shades up his blue eyes flickering with rage.
"I'm here cause my bitch of a soulmate decided to drag me here instead of a shopping trip like they promised, I could be at home getting my dick sucked but no in here surrounded by idiots" hikaru was definitely in a fiery mood.
"well hikaru, y/n brought you here bec-"
Hikaru huffed in anger cutting the doctor off his anger being never ending. "they brought me here cause they think they are so smart. Their job is to please me in anyway I see fit, in return I spoil them once in a while and I am NOT pleased." With that Hikaru got up before shooting you a dirty look.
"you have ten minutes to meet me in the car or you're walking home" he snapped before walking out the room. You apologized for hikaru before going to join him.
Axis
The first one willing to go
He thinks it will make a great date
Tells his therapist EVERYTHING
Honestly he sounds so chipper about it they look so worried for him
Like sir are you okay?!
Clams up when it comes to insecurities
Like nope.
He only goes once though cause in his eyes therapy is a going once event
"- then my brother salem poured bleach in my eyes! I know it was bad but I of course forgive him cause all siblings fight right? He's really great though! Like one time we were playing hide and seek and he couldn't find me for six hours haha!"
you nervously glanced at the horror stricken expression the therapist had, they were so shocked they werent even taking notes. "Your brother sounds extremely toxic and incredibly dangerous" they stated and axis paused with a light pout clearly offended.
"salem wouldn't hurt a fly!" He huffs out and you weren't sure this was helping too much..though you were glad he decided to go.
Salem
So his therapist had to see a therapist
The first three minutes he had to wear a muzzle cause he tried to eat his therapist and not in the fun way
He is so feral he just speaks in slurring words and barks
You have to put a collar and leash on him
He did leave with a mouth full of blood though cause he bit a huge chunk off his therapist.
"s-s-so, salem w-what do you think c-caused you to be this way?" The doctor spoke while standing on their desk as you tried to pull the leash hard to pull salem away. "Bad boy! Stop it!" You snapped out at salem who got his muzzle off and was attempting to devour the poor therapist. "I-im sorry he's usually much calmer than this, strangers make him hungry" you explained before seeing salem bite the therapist on the leg.
"salem! No! You don't bite people!" You scolded as you tried to pull the male off and once you did you decided it was time to go home now. "W-well thanks doctor this has been fun, let's go salem!" You dragged him away while shaking your head.
"y/nnnnnnn~"
"...yes salem?"
"I love you!"
You glanced at him seeing he was docile once more and you sighed "I love you too babe" you mumbled out not sure what to do.
Rin
His therapist quit.
He trolled them so hard they gave up
Spoke in meme quotes the whole time.
"rin, would you say you were a happy child?"
"yeet."
You face palmed at your boyfriend who was hellbent on annoying the therapist to death. This session has already been thirty minutes and while rin was holding back his laughter the doctor looked like they wanted to snap their clipboard.
"please rin, work with me here..."
Rin beckoned the therapist to come closer and when they leaned in feeling excited thay they made progress rin's eyes sparkled widely. "Big...chungus"
You and rin walked out the office after being kicked out since the therapist had an absolute mental breakdown. "You're an asshole.." you mumbled and rin wrapped an arm around your shoulder with a wicked grin. "I'm your asshole, babynow how about we dress you up then have clown sex? I say that's equal payment for this"
Yuki
He hated it
He was quiet the entire time
Like the entire time
He wouldn't answer a question or nothing
He legit fell asleep with his head in your lap and now sees therapy as a place to nap
He doesn't like strangers so there was no way in hell he's speaking to a stranger.
You sighed at the tense silence in the room as yuki buried his face into your stomach his head in your lap. The moment he got here he took a nap not really caring about the doctor or his questions..it's been this way for a full hour. Slowly yuki opened his eyes and sat up with a low hum, he leaned in to kiss you feeling really clingy until he heard the shuffling of another person.
yuki tensed up suddenly wrapping his arms around you his chin rested on your shoulder. "Y/n, home?" He questions with a grumpy pout. You ran your fingers through his hair with a loud sigh.
"yeah yuki, we can go home.."
prince
He sees himself too cool for that stuff
"I'm not going, therapy isn't my vision of a fun date. Foreplay and sex is a good date"
He doesn't like the idea of sitting in a room and talking about his feelings.
If you promise to let him finger you during the car ride he is totally In though
He doesn't take it seriously at all
Avoids all the questions
Ends up just boasting about his sex life for an hour
"y/n moaned louder that night than ever before, it was so fucking awesome" prince cheered out his eyes lit up. You were covering your face with your hands feeling nothing but embarrassment as prince went all and on.
"t-the question was what makes you happy" the doctor stated and prince gave a confused look. "Yeah, and I said sex I mean wasn't that clear?"
"prince could you perhaps be a nymphomaniac?"
"shit, maybe? If I don't bang at least twice a day I get all grumpy...speaking of bang on the car ride here it was fucking great y/n let me-" you covered his mouth not being able to handle anymore of this. "We'll be going now!" You snapped out now dragging prince away.
"you're sexy when embarrassed"
"shut the hell up"
Rocket
He is literally the least dangerous yandere
He thinks he's fine
But he goes and actually speaks about his life
Everything about his life seems so cheerful and good...until..it isnt
Like axis he speaks as if it's okay
He's a dumbass so therapy doesn't really help him
He just uses it as a way to spend time with you
"so what was your childhood like?"
"well, I grew up in a small village we owned a pretty big farm. My mother and father kinda liked to spoil me.."
You've never heard about his childhood so you were very engaged in this story..it sounded pretty nice. Rocket paused to think when suddenly his eyes lit up
"I ended up being chosen to be the village pet! It was such an honor!" He cheers out with a happy hum. Instantly you knew this wasn't going to be good but you let him explain.
"the village pet is like...hmm a handyman, they do basically anything the villagers don't wanna do it's hard work but it's good work." He explained
"what were some of the things you had to do?"
"well...solves disputes, help out on there people's farms, help procreate, honestly anything! Only way to leave the village as a pet is to choose a new pet. It was hard to pick someone..but I'm glad I did"
The room got very very silent...very fast.
Rocket gazed at the time before getting up. "Hey y/n we should go yeah? You promised we could go get ice cream if I do this with you"
Yuuji& yuuta
Lord...these two got so much fucking baggage
They go, but they see it as entertainment
A fun little joke
Until it's not
The therapist manages to make them fight
And that NEVER happens
Like never.
It gets super damn intense
You're over there like "damn okay."
You watched the two boys argue clearly upset with each other. The question was that if yuuta found yuuji attractive..and yuuta hesitated.
"so you don't think I'm cute or anything?"
"I never said that! I just think, you're not my type."
"how the hell could I be not your type?! I know exactly what you like and don't like! I please you all the damn time!"
You cleared your throat awkwardly, not sure if going to couples therapy was a good idea anymore.
"I'm just saying! You sometimes..don't hit it quite right I mean..it's fine everyone has their ups and downs"
"OH so I'm bad at sex now?! You're such a liar cause on the drive here you were screaming like a little whore!"
"anyone can fucking scream yuuji! Doesn't take damn rocket science! Y'know I'm starting to see why ushio fucking hates you! You think you're so damn high and mighty! This is why we can't have normal relationships with our siblings!"
The room got silent as the two panted softly the screaming working them up and yuuji turned his head away eyes glimmering with tears. You honestly..felt like you were watching a drama show and was totally into it. "I-i didn't mean that- I'm sorry I just-"yuuta mumbled out and yuuji sniffled.
"do you..hate me?"
"wha-"
"ever since we came out when we were younger, you've been trying to be such a tough guy..you don't even say you love me as much. So, do you hate me?" Yuuji explained and you watched as the two hugged.
"of course not! I-i just didn't want anyone to still see me as that girl who was scared of her own shadow" yuuta whimpers out and yuuji smiled at him "you're not her, you're a strong guy.. our strong guy and we love you so much me and y/n" yuuji whispers out planting a kiss on the boy's cheek.
As the three of you left you suddenly felt an arm link with yours on either side. "Enjoy the show dollface?" Yuuta chimed before yuuji giggled "it was very fun!"
"you two were faking it?!" You huffed out seeing them both nod. They were totally lying but they didn't want you to know that, after all they were twins..fighting was basically illegal to them.
Scarlett
Another person who isn't happy with therapy
Straight out refuses
Like nope.
Never.
It takes A LOT of convincing til she agrees
Another member of the "has a bad childhood but sees it as normal" group
Hers is downright horrifying
But she giggles it off
"my childhood? Hmm..well my father was a doctor, I was his little nurse" she said softly in thought and you immediately didn't like this.
"he taught me all about plants, poisons and human biology. He was studying human mutations he wanted to know if it was possible to have humans evolve animal like traits, by replacing their body parts for animal ones of course" she cheers out and interlaced her fingers together.
"such an interesting study, some of them works in some ways..though it seems the human body can't handle some things..we are such fragile creatures are we not?"
Scarlett had this creepy dangerous vibe about her and the session was instantly cut short due to your therapist feeling unsafe. As you two walked out you couldn't help but gaze her way.
"who were his victims?" You asked out softly before feeling her hold your hand with a smile. "Well, children from my school. Then..me" she stated softly causing the haira on the back of your neck to stand.
"what animal part did he give you? Did it work?"
"it worked.."
That was all she stated and you didn't hear anything about it ever again so you were left to wonder about it.
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