#very important to me- i recently changed my last name for family reasons

[blindingliqhts]

jeremy i do not mean to make this sound threatening but you are hiding something and i am going to find out what it is

[vashtijoy]

something suggestive about balls: pool table proxy wars in akechi's confidant, rank 7

There's only one thing you really need to know about rank 7 of Akechi's confidant, and it is this: it happens on the day of the incriminating murder phone call.

We know this for several reasons:

It can't be locked for the name change ("family-name-kun" to "given name")—Akechi never calls Joker by name in conf 7. In fact, unless I miss my guess, he never calls Joker by name during the confidant at all, other than when you say hello in Kichijoji—probably because his term of address changes on 10/31;

Futaba will later tell us the call was recorded "a few days" after she bugged Akechi's phone on 10/29. From 10/29 to 11/2 is four days;

Given the importance of confidant 7, especially the rivalry discussion at the end, it's inconceivable that it happens before Joker hears the phone call. He goes there in full knowledge of what Akechi is, and what he intends.

Lastly, 11/2 can be summed up as "absolute chaos":

First, Akechi meets you on the train platform before school. He tells you he "won't be seeing you privately like this any more", once your deal is concluded—well, of course not, you'll be dead.

But this chat is so important that it appears to have two forms, unlike all the rest of Akechi's train platform appearances. One, the one I got in my playthrough, is quite gentle in tone. The other is much less so, much more dismissive, almost third semester in its bluntness. Assuming they're both in game, I'd guess the first is if you have the confidant levelled, and the second is if you don't. It's not legacy dialogue from vanilla P5; this scene looks to have been added for Royal. IDK, I don't know what triggers the two different chats, or if the other is even in game—but I'd like to.

If you haven't yet been to the hideout since 10/29, Morgana will force you to go after school. That's to say: you must have done Akechi's first hideout meeting, the first hideout of the Sae's Palace mission, by this date;

Last of all, Akechi texts you in the evening, for confidant 7 and its violent change in tone. "After all, losing doesn't sit well with either of us. Am I right?"

If 11/2 isn't the day of the phone call, I'll eat a nest of wasps.

boys and their toys

So. Joker walks into Penguin Sniper for confidant 7, in the a. full and b. very recently acquired knowledge that Akechi is a two-faced killer who's gleefully planning his murder. And what does he do?

Akechi has a lot of revealing things to say about balls in this scene, but we're not really here for him. Because look at how Joker is standing.

[screenshots below the cut, yo]

That's his usual "I have a pool cue" stance, with the cue held in front of him. Here he is doing it with the squad (plus one traitor):

See the difference? When he's with the others, Joker's facing the table—like you would at a billiard table, like Akechi is doing in the picture at the top. But in the confidant, when he's just learned exactly how malicious Akechi's intent is, Joker's not facing the table at all. Joker is facing Akechi. And that means he's keeping that cue firmly between them—whether as a shield or an impromptu weapon.

Now, like we said before, that's a standard pose—if Joker is holding a pool cue, he will hold it in that way. But it's the strange angle he's standing at, facing Akechi and not the pool table, that turns it into a message of sorts.

What happens next? Akechi leans down to take his shot, laying out his extended listen-I'm-going-to-murder-you-soon-and-I-haven't-fully-rationalised-it-yet metaphor all the while. Joker's eyes follow his to the table to watch. But he never turns to the table. He stays facing Akechi, and he still keeps the cue between the two of them:

The next thing is that you answer his question—"Hm, that sure sounds like a psychotic breakdown to me"—and Joker uses his hand to gesture....

... but then he gets the cue back between the two of them again, lickety-split:

The next thing that happens is that Akechi—probably deliberately, as part of his extended metaphor—misses his shot. The two of them pause to stare at the cue ball—in the Japanese text, Akechi has explicitly mentioned it as the ball you strike that starts everything unpredictably rolling. But Joker still keeps the cue between them, and still hasn't turned to the table:

(BTW, here's our old friend the sad sprite—there are some really interesting uses of it in this scene, that are worth watching out for.) But now we get to the point. "But even knowing all of that, you're still not going to quit, are you?"

Their eyes meet; the cue is still between them....

You can say "I've made up my mind" or "I won't miss my shot"; both mean, essentially, "fuck you"; both get the same result.

But now. Only now, as Joker goes to take that shot, does he finally turn to the table, exposing himself to Akechi. (coughs)

He nails it. And then they head out into the street to talk about rivalry. But take a look at their positions now:

Note that Akechi has not moved; only Joker has moved. But now the picture looks different. Now, it looks like Akechi is the one defending himself.

Joker has moved in and taken his shot, dropping his defence and opening himself up to attack in the process. Akechi hasn't moved or altered anything he was doing, yet now he's on the defensive.

And Joker's shot was successful, of course. Just like it will be on 11/20.

this is reaching, you should be ashamed

I see your point! Let's go back in time and have a look at confidant 2, for comparison. Here are the boys in happier times:

See? Joker is facing the table. Even though he's talking to Akechi, and looking at Akechi, he's turned to the table.

Here's another. This one's more dubious because of the angle, which means he does have the cue in front of him—but again, you can see Joker is pointed at the table, not at Akechi:

Funny you should say that, kid. Rank 7 Joker is on to you.

[your-local-granny]

okay i forget if i already made a post about this but i think the fact that franziska full-names edgeworth is really interesting!! I know that she full names basically everyone when she addresses them but edgewrth specifically she only called "Miles" when we see them interacting as younger people. So she consciously switched to calling him "Miles Edgeworth" at some point which we can infer either was her growing up and deciding to be hyper-formal to show how grown up she is (probable but in my opinion she was trying to do this even at 13 so it doesnt make sense to me that that would motivate this change) OR!!!! was a reaction to the events of turnabout goodbyes/ Edgeworth faking his death

Franziska referring to Edgeworth by his full name is interesting for a couple of reasons, mostly due to the fact that she is continually bringing up his family name and therefore both M. E.'s relationship to his father and also the fact that her and edgeworth have very different fathers with differing baggage accompanying those relationships

We can see franziska calling edgeworth by his last name as a way of her belittling him as she often does by implying that he is not a Von Karma/ therefore bellow her BUT!! we also know from the airport convo in 2-4 that she USED to consider him a von karma...

and that allegedly her view on this changed recently.

I think its also worthy to point out though, that franziska calling him miles edgeworth also places an importance on a part of edgeworth's life that MvK did his best to erase or weaponize against him. MvK interestingly refers to him as "Edgeworth" so her adding this could be a show that they are more informal now because he ran away/ betrayed her/ the VK legacy ect. but also at this point she knows that MvK was guilty! And that Edgeworth sr. "beat" MvK (in whatever wild way von karmas categorize winning/ losing) so i like to think that theres something almost kind about referring to him as his whole name, symbolically seeing him as a whole person, acknowledging his past that shaped him from before they knew each other,,, </3

anyways this was very rambling but in conclusion i love them and good night

[valiantstarlights]

[Loving You is Cherry Pie] How It Started

Featuring doting father Alpha!Hob (43) and his son, recently presented Omega!Dream (20).

Not me looking for something appropriate(?) to post on Father's Day and finding this in my notes. 👀

The title is from the song, "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga. While it could mean that loving someone sweet is as easy and enjoyable as eating cherry pie, knowing that Lady Gaga is allergic to cherries changes the meaning of the lyric drastically.

CWs: Aside from the dead-dove-ness of the premise, there's also toxic family dynamics (Dream's mother and her side of the family) and all the unfun stuff that goes with it, like verbal abuse, gaslighting, etc.

Important: This is (hopefully) going to be a series of non-linear oneshots. Maybe even a series of 'what if' oneshots. Who knows what I'll do? Certainly not me. 😂 Oh, and because this is an omegaverse fic, it's going to be on AO3 for public consumption. Anyway, Happy Father's Day, everybody! 😉

--

The Missus

"Talk to your son, Robert."

"And a very good morning to you as well, Nyx. May I ask what happened?"

"I merely requested, very reasonably, I might add, for him to call you 'Father' instead of his childish nickname for you, and he slammed the door in my face and called me a bitch."

"I see nothing wrong with Dream calling me 'Papa,' though?"

"You see nothing wrong with it. But everyone else is telling me how they think Dream is a spoiled, immature--"

"Everyone else, huh?"

"Yes! Look, I'm just concerned because the boy's birthday is coming up, and everyone on my side will be at the party, and--"

"Wait. A party? Nyx, you know Dream hates parties. And--"

"(scoff) That's your argument? 'Dream hates parties?' (laugh) And so what if he does? It's a family tradition--"

"Be reasonable. Dream is going to be presenting on his birthday, and he's overwhelmed enough with crowds. What more when--"

"Destiny is an introvert as well, and he did admirably at his presentation party. And besides, we both know Dream is just being dramatic, so you need to stop encouraging him. He's almost of age, Robert! He needs--"

"You're right. He's almost of age, and I think it's high time for you to start treating him like he's an adult who can make his own decisions. Have you even asked him what he wants to do on his birthday?"

"(scoff) Lock himself up in his dorm room and read his silly books, no doubt."

"So let him do that."

"Not a chance in hell. The party will be good for him. And besides, when was the last time he interacted with the right sort of people? Ever since he started at that no-name university you stupidly let him attend, he has been meeting all the wrong sorts! No wonder his attitude is becoming worse. He should spend more time with his cousins, especially the twins, who always ask when they'll see him next."

"Ha. Right."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Are you kidding? You know Desire and Despair are only asking when they'll see Dream next so they would know when they'd be able to bully him again."

"Bully-- How dare you! The twins are absolute angels!"

"Yeah. Because knocking Dream unconscious and locking him up in a closet in the attic for almost an entire day when he was nine years old is absolute angelic behavior. If I hadn't found him--"

"My god, when are you going to let that go? It's been…what, a decade? And the twins have already apologized. You were there. You saw that Dream has already forgiven them."

"Okay, one, the twins did not apologize. You made Dream apologize to them, and he only did so because you threatened to throw all his books out of the house."

"That is not--"

"No. You know what? I'm not going to argue about this with you anymore. Dream is going to decide what he wants to do for his birthday--"

"He is going to alpha the fuck up and go to his own presentation party that MY family is so graciously throwing for him--"

"--and you can decide whether or not you want to support his decision. Goodbye. (hangs up)"

--

Dream

"Hey, baby. How are you?"

"…Good."

"Everything okay? How'd you do on your paper? That was due this morning, right?"

"…I am not calling you 'Father,' Papa."

"(sigh) I never said you had to, baby. But you can see where you went wrong, yeah?"

"No."

"You called your mother a bitch."

"She is a bitch. And a hundred other worse things. She's lucky I stopped at bitch."

"Dream."

"Fine. I will apologize to her. For you."

"Good boy. And speaking of, your birthday is coming up."

"I already know what I want."

"If it's hardbound volumes of the complete works of Shakespeare--"

"(laugh) I know you hate him, Papa, so I won't torture you and make you buy things related to him for me."

"Well, that's a relief. Because I was just about to say that I was talking to your mother, and I told her that you're old enough to decide what you want to do for your birthday. So…you know, if you just want to have a pizza party with your closest friends at that gaming cafe you all go to--"

"Oh, Papa, really?"

"I know you hate the Endless's unnecessarily lavish parties, baby. So yeah, really. Consider it an additional birthday gift from me to you. If you want it, that is."

"I…Yes. I would love that. And you will be there as well, right?"

"It's your call, Dream. If you'd rather just celebrate with your friends, I could just pay the gaming cafe in advance and leave you young people--"

"No! I…I would love for you to be there. And you're not that old, Papa. But if you're busy on that day…"

"Me? Busy on my son's birthday? Never gonna happen. I would move heaven and earth and all my meetings so I can share with you all my hard-earned wisdom via dad jokes--"

"Papa--"

"--and now all your friends shall suffer the same fete!"

"Papa!"

"Get it? Fate and fete?"

"…"

"Regretting inviting me yet?"

"…Never. I was just--oh, Jessamy just arrived with our food. Hey, Jess."

"Take-out again?"

"This will be the first time this month. (muffled) Yes, it's Papa."

"Well, just be sure to limit eating take-out meals. I bought you all sorts of kitchen stuff for your dorm so you two could use it for cooking, not for decoration."

"Yes, Papa."

"Don't roll your eyes at me, baby."

"How did you--"

"Ah, hold on. (muffled) Yes, a moment, please. I have to go, baby. But enjoy your dinner and say hi to Jessamy for me."

"Yes, Papa. I'll send you a picture of our food in a bit so you may suffer for your fete joke while you're in your meeting."

"(laugh) Evil. I like it. Well, send away, baby. I'll talk to you later. Love you!"

"I love you too, Papa."

--

Jo

"Hypothetically speaking, if the house is in my name and Nyx barely resides here, can I charge her with trespassing and destruction of property?"

"Jesus Christ. What has the bitch done now?"

"(sighs) Just…we had an argument--"

"Surprise, surprise."

"--and after Dream told her he wouldn't be attending her family's presentation party for him, she has been…"

"A fucking psycho? As usual?"

"Basically."

"How's my cute nephew, anyway?"

"Thriving at university and making friends with equally brilliant people. He was home this weekend, telling me all the updates on his group's DND campaign when Nyx burst in and…well. You know."

"Yeah. And how many times have I told you to divorce her?"

"About as many times as when you pranked me when we were kids. But--"

"No. Dream is almost an adult, and he fucking hates her. There is literally no need for you to suffer her and her crazy family anymore."

"(sigh)"

"You know I'm right."

"You almost always are. So…what, do I need to lawyer up or something?"

"I mean, I already have a list of lawyers for you to choose from, if you're not fucking around anymore."

"(laugh) Hold on to that, then. I'll talk to Dream first and see what he thinks."

"What he-- Hobs, who the hell do you think gave me the list of lawyers?"

"Dream did?"

"…You know, sometimes I wonder if I actually did hit you too hard with that plastic shovel on the head when we were five and you lost all your brain cells that day."

"Alright, that's enough. I think I'm losing more brain cells just by talking to you."

"You can't lose more if you already have none, stupid. But yeah. Think about it. Divorcing Nyx, I mean."

"Been thinking about it more and more, to be honest. But keep that list ready, yeah? Just in case."

"Yep. Bye, Hobs. Tell Dream his favorite aunt says hello to her paleo mushroom bean."

"I still don't fucking understand why you call him that, and why he doesn't mind you calling him that, but yeah, sure. Bye, Jo."

--

Dream

"Happy birthday, baby! I'll see you in a bit. Just gotta get your super secret birthday gift from my super secret lair--"

"Take your time, Papa. And leave the dad jokes at home, please?"

"Mwahahahaha!"

"…That does not bode well."

--

Papa

Papa? (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) Papa, please pick up. I need you.

--

Dream

"Hey, Dream."

"Papa!"

"Dream, I--"

"I'm so sorry, Papa. I suspected, but I didn't really know for sure. I… Do you hate me now?"

"I just need some time to process this. But I'm okay. And no, I don't hate you. This is very much not your fault."

"But…you're not mad at me? I love you."

"…I love you too, baby. I'm just…I needed to breathe for a bit. Sorry for suddenly walking out. How did the rest of the party go?"

"(wet sniffle) It was okay. Matthew ate most of the cake, and I think Lucienne won the most games so she got the chicken dinner crown."

"What do you mean, 'I think?'"

"I wasn't really paying much attention to what was happening after you left. Sorry."

"Oh, baby."

"I just…(quiet sob) I missed my Papa."

"Fuck. I'm so sorry, Dream. I promise I'll make it up to you. We could…I don't know, rewatch your favorite series over an unlimited amount of pizza, or see a Shakespearean play at the Globe Theatre--"

"(wet laugh) But Papa, you hate Shakespeare."

"Yeah, but…I love you more. And I'm willing to put up with that bastard's--ah, hold on. Jo's calling."

"You should take Aunt Jo's call, Papa. I'll be okay."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Jessamy's here. We're rewatching Legally Blonde. Say hi, Jess."

"(muffled) Hi, Mr. G!"

"She says hi."

"Yeah, baby, I heard. So you're sure you're okay over there?"

"Yes, Papa."

"And you don't need anything else? Pizza? Blankets? My secret hot chocolate recipe?"

"No, Papa. All I needed was for you to call me."

"Oh, baby."

"I'm really sorry."

"Dream. You have nothing to be sorry for. And I'm not mad, nor do I hate you. I just…(sigh) It was…and still is, honestly, a bit of a shock. But I will always be your Papa, even if we're not blood-related. Okay?"

"Yes, Papa."

"Alright. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay. …And Papa?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I still…(deep breath) Am I still welcome to go back home?"

"Of course, baby. You're welcome to come back home any time."

"And…And you promise you don't hate me?"

"I promise. I can never hate you."

"Okay. I love you, Papa."

"…I love you, too, baby."

--

Jo

"Shit. Sorry, Hobs. Jet just landed. Why the fuck were you calling me 27 thousand times? Are you okay? Is Dream okay? What's--"

"Dream isn't my biological son."

"I…What?"

"You heard me. I just found out when he presented as an omega and I reacted to his scent."

"You reacted-- Oh, fuck."

"I had to get the hell away from him as soon as I caught his scent. Calmed myself down a bit. A lot."

"Shit. You're compatible with him?"

"Yes."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Hobs."

"Fucking tell me about it."

"Have you talked to him yet?"

"Yeah. Just now, actually."

"How is he?"

"Worried that I hate him. Or if I'm mad at him. He wanted to know if he could still come home, Jo."

"Why the fuck would you be mad at him or hate him?"

"That's what I thought as well. Because right now? He is the last person on this earth who I will ever be mad at. But that's not what I was calling you about."

"Oh? Dream not being your bio son isn't the reason why you were calling me repeatedly like a fucking lunatic?"

"Yeah. I need you to give me that list of lawyers, Jo."

"Oh, hell yeah. Let's destroy this bitch."

--

The Missus Nyx Endless

We're over.

Excuse me? (Missed call.) Pick up the phone, Robert. (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) You're acting like a child. (Missed call.) (Missed call.)

Stop calling me. Can't you read? We're over. Done.

And do I get to know why you're so callously filing to annul our marriage a day after our son's birthday, when he didn't even have the decency to show up to his own presentation party?

Yeah, okay.

Well? Go on.

Imagine this, Nyx. Imagine my shock and mortification when Dream, MY son, presents as an omega, and I, his supposed biological father, react to his scent. You know, in hindsight, I can see why you so desperately want him to present as an alpha. Why, if Dream did the 'proper' thing for once and became the alpha you always wanted him to be, then I would never know of your infidelity. In fact, I seem to remember a couple of nurses remarking that Dream looks healthy for supposedly being born premature. But was he really? Or was he born right on schedule? I mean, did you even pay attention in your required Secondary Gender classes? Because an alpha reacting to an omega's scent means that they're not related by blood to them. So yeah. We're over.

(Missed call.) Look, can you just pick up your phone so we can talk like actual adults instead of you suddenly accusing me of infidelity, as if you're some faultless saint who has never lusted after loose omega whores?

Funny. I'll have my lawyers contact you.

(Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.)

Yeah, I'm still not gonna pick up and let you scream and gaslight me like you always do. I can fill in the blanks well enough by myself. All those work trips before our wedding? Not exactly rocket science. All I need from you right now is for you to sign the goddamn documents my lawyers are going to send.

And if I don't?

Gee, I don't know. I mean, it's not like my family owns an entire media company and has a lot of connections. Surely I wouldn't destroy you and your family's image, right? Because you've been such a good wife to me and a good mother to Dream, and you have never, not once, cheated on me with another alpha. Kronos, was it? What? Nothing to say? Fucking thought so.

--

Bean

"Aunt Jo?"

"Yeah, Bean?"

"Thank you for earlier."

"Nah. I should've fucking decked the cunt years ago. Glad I got to do it now. Seriously, don't mention it. It was my pleasure. How's your cheek?"

"Papa put an ice pack on it as soon as he could. Mother didn't draw blood, but Papa hasn't calmed down yet. He's calling even more people as we speak."

"Good. Keep that ice pack on your cheek. I'm coming over in a bit. Just gotta finish up here. You want anything?"

"Maybe vanilla ice cream for me and fish and chips from Cain and Abel's for Papa?"

"You got it."

--

CEO of Gadling Corporation Annuls Marriage to Estranged Wife

Robert Gadling, 43, annuls marriage to wife, Nyx Gadling (nee Endless) on grounds of infidelity prior to their marriage. (more on page 6.)

--

Lucienne

"Hey. I just heard the news. You okay?"

"Yes."

"Dream."

"I'm fine."

"But?"

"I don't like that I have to go by Dream Endless now. But I'm glad I don't have to see anyone from that side of the family anymore. I don't like that people whisper about me everywhere I go. But Papa doesn't hate me and I'm welcome to stay with him for as long as I want. It's a mixed bag, but I actually prefer this to how it was before."

"I mean, obviously. I met your mom once and all I could think of was hitting her with a chair. No offense."

"None taken. I wish you had. That would have definitely made last year's Halloween party more exciting."

"Alas. I was too worried about getting arrested in my Uhura costume. You were dressed as Morticia Addams, right?"

"I was. Mother was supposed to be Morticia, but she claims her costume shrank in the dryer and so foisted the costume on me. She went as the Bride of Frankenstein instead. Something about being the wife of a monster."

"Yikes. Thank god your dad had a late meeting and didn't arrive until after she had passed out from drinking most of the alcohol in the bar."

"...Mm-hmm."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Dream."

"It's nothing, Lucienne. I just remembered I have a paper due on Monday that I have yet to do, what with all the...drama."

"Oh! Yeah, of course. Sorry for suddenly going off on a tangent. I really just wanted to see if you were okay."

"And I appreciate you calling to check up on me. Truly."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll leave you to the tender mercies of your academics then, Dream Gadling."

"Thank you. I much prefer that name over the one I have right now."

--

Papa

"Hello? Papa?"

"Hey, baby. Is everything alright? It's one in the morning."

"Yes. I'm safe in my dorm. I was just thinking…Can I still call you 'Papa?' Or do you want me to call you something else now?"

"'Papa' is fine, baby. I mean… (pause) Yeah, I think it would be strange if you suddenly called me 'Robert' or something."

"You don't have to sound so disgusted with your own name, Papa. I think 'Robert' is a perfectly lovely name."

"Aww, thank you, Dream. (paper rustling)"

"Are you still working, Papa?"

"Ha. I wish. No, baby, I'm looking through profiles right now."

"Of employees?"

"(sigh) Of omegas."

"Omegas."

"Yep."

"��"

"You there?"

"Why."

"What do you mean, 'why?' For marriage, of course."

"Marriage."

"(sigh) Yes, Dream. Marriage."

"You and Mother just got your marriage annulled barely a fortnight ago."

"Yeah, well, your Papa's not getting any younger, and the Board is breathing down my neck trying to get me to get married again."

"What do they care?"

"Well, baby, it turns out that I don't have an heir yet."

"What do you mean? Am I not your heir? Did you not raise me to run the company competently one day? I'm good at the job, Papa. You know I am."

"You are. And I said the exact same thing to the Board. But they still want me to have a biological child to inherit the company someday. You know. Far into the future."

"So you have to marry again. And have a biological child with your new omega spouse. Children."

"Look, Dream, it's not like I'm having the time of my life right now."

"And me? Am I…Am I expected to just step aside for this new family of yours?"

"Baby, no. You're still my heir. Even the Board acknowledges how brilliant you are. But--"

"But once I have outlived my usefulness, I will be replaced by someone who shares your blood."

"Dream--"

"I'm suddenly feeling drowsy, Papa. Good night. (hangs up)"

"Shit."

--

Dream

No one will ever be able to take your place, Dream. You are my son, no matter who your biological father is, and I will always love you. (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) Can you please at least let me know if you're safe? I'm getting worried.

I'm safe.

Okay. That's good, baby. Thank you for letting me know.

--

Jessamy (Dream's roommate)

Jessamy? Is Dream alright?

Hey, Mr. G! I mean, yeah? He's quieter than usual, but he's going to classes and eating and sleeping normally. Is everything okay?

Not sure, actually. Look, can you please keep an eye on him?

Yup, sure thing! Anything in particular you want me to look out for?

Just strange behavior, I suppose. The two of you have been roommates for a couple of years now, so in a way, you know better than I do what to look out for.

--

Eleanor

"I'm sorry. I don't know what has gotten into him."

"Hey, it's okay. It's totally understandable that he'd be very protective of you."

"It's just… I've never seen him act like that before. He's usually so well-mannered."

"Seriously, Robert, it's fine. Sure, he glared at me the entire night and interrogated me like I'm a criminal, but given what you both have been through, I get it. If I were in his shoes, I would totally do the same thing."

"I don't think you would 'accidentally' spill a glass of red wine over another person's clothes, though."

"Pssh, please. I have 'accidentally' spilled many an alcoholic drink when I was in uni as well. Granted, I spilled them mostly on handsy alphas."

"I'm really sorry."

"And I really don't mind. It's a dress, Robert. I can get it dry cleaned. If anything, Dream has provided me with the perfect excuse to go shopping."

"You don't have to be so understanding about this. He was a right little hellion tonight."

"Trust me, I've dealt with worse. Oh, hold on. (muffled) Oh, thank you, Chris. I just got home."

"Good. Great. I'll see you soon?"

"(laugh) I'll see you during our business lunch on Monday, Robert. And don't worry, it will take more than a glass of 'accidentally' spilled red wine on my dress to scare me off."

"(relieved sigh) Thanks, Eleanor."

"Ellie. You've dabbed enough napkins on my person to call me Eleanor."

"Ellie, then. Good night."

"Good night, Robert."

--

Dream

"Dream. Care to explain your behavior tonight?"

"Not really."

"Dream."

"Robert."

"…Okay, I'm going to give you time to calm down, but I still expect that explanation from you. And an apology to Eleanor."

"…"

"Dream."

"(hangs up)"

--

Jessamy (Dream's roommate)

Um, Mr. G? Dream came back yesterday at around 3AM, and he was really hungover this morning. Please don't tell him I told you.

Alright. Thank you, Jessamy.

--

Dream

"I said no, Corinthian."

"…Corinthian?"

"…Papa."

"Anything you need to tell me, baby?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

"Right."

"…"

"Well, I just called to tell you I won't be home this weekend."

"Understood. I am to let no one in, and all exterior doors must be locked at all times. Should an intruder somehow get past security, I am to hide in the safe room first and call you and/or Aunt Jo second."

"(sigh) Dream…"

"Is there anything else?"

"I miss you."

"…"

"We've barely talked since I started meeting with potential omega partners, and when we do talk, I get the sense that you'd rather do anything else than talk to me. What do I have to do? I feel like I'm suddenly doing everything wrong where you're concerned."

"If I ask you to stop meeting with other omegas, would you do it?"

"Baby…I have to."

"Then there's nothing left to talk about."

"You know you're one of the most, if not THE most important person in my life. I want you to be a part of this decision too. Anyone I choose must also have your approval."

"And if I choose no one?"

"(sigh) Baby…"

"You say I'm important to you. But--"

"Hold on. (muffled) What? Now? Goddammit. (sigh) Listen, baby. I have to go. But I'll call you later, okay? Just before my plane leaves, as always. I hope you answer. I don't like leaving on a plane without talking to you beforehand. You're my good luck charm, you know?"

"Fine. What time shall I expect your call?"

"(muffled) Yes, it's Dream. Just one more second, Ellie. What was that, baby?"

"Nothing. I said I'll pick up when you call. Is that Eleanor?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. We're both attending the same international conference, so I invited her to just fly with me on the jet."

"...I see. I have to go to class now."

"Oh, of course. Sorry for keeping you. Have a good day at school, baby. Love you."

"(hangs up)"

--

Papa

Ppa help In eed you Ith urts

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

This happened a while ago but it's been bothering me.

In high school, my best friend (Hayley) and I briefly dated after we A: realised we weren't straight and B: had romantic feelings for one another. We didn't tell anyone about it at the time, and due to the circumstances behind her breaking it off, it just. Never came up with friends. It was a little on again off again for years due to her issues around commitment and vulnerability, and eventually I put my foot down and said I was over her and just wanted to be friends, nothing more.

Around this time, a mutual friend set her up with a friend of her boyfriend. I was the last one to find out in our friend group that she was dating Tim, and only really because she asked for permission to tell Tim that we had dated, because they were starting to get serious.

At this point in time, we were all about 23, so it had been over 5 years since we'd been romantically involved. Everyone in our friend group knew we were queer, but we weren't out publicly yet, and they still didn't know about Hayley and I dating. But I still agreed because I understood her wanting to be open and honest with him.

Fast forward a year and Tim cheats on her with his ex-girlfriend. I won't go into details about how messy this was, because a lot of it is personal to them, but the relevant part is that Tim justified this to his friend group by telling them that he'd done it because he was upset about Hayley doing it first.

He tells them all that Hayley and I had dated, naming me in the process, and lies that we (Hayley and I) slept together on a recent girls trip. We find out because one of his friends is a mutual friend's boyfriend, and suddenly all hell breaks loose because our friend group finds out Hayley and I dated, and both of us are not only outed, but rumours start spreading about us cheating.

It's important to note that I'm asexual, and have some trauma around being discussed sexually that I hadn't fully dealt with at the time. Tim never apologises to me for any of it, Hayley jokes to me on the phone while in tears that it's particularly ridiculous because I'm asexual, and the two of them get back together.

Here is the messy part. I don't bring up how I'm feeling, because I'm more concerned about Hayley's feelings, for various reasons, and I have a very strong people pleasing streak that I also had not dealt with at the time.

Fast forward two years and I am suddenly unpacking all this trauma, while also dealing with a lot of personal turmoil. My friendship with Hayley has become more and more strained as we grow and change as people, and I begin to realise that we haven't really been the same around each other for a while now.

This culminates in Hayley messaging me one day to say that she and Tim are engaged, and I, caught up in what was going on at the time (and I was also at work), don't immediately reply - partially because I'm figuring out how to word a reply I don't actually mean. Except I forget to respond and later that night, she messages me and essentially tells me not to bother.

I give her space, as she told me not to message her, and then she messages me two weeks later angry about me not contacting her. I am dealing with a lot that I'm not getting into here, including a court case and a death in the family, but finally I decide to just come clean.

I message her and apologise for not responding sooner. I explain that I'm still unpacking a lot of my own problems and trying to figure things out, and I'm realising that I haven't been comfortable around Tim since the incident happened. I explain that I don't hold it against her at all, because I didn't voice any of this at the time, but it also isn't something I can ignore. I explain that I feel like we've both been trying too hard to maintain a friendship that just isn't working anymore. I tell her that I would never ask her to put a relationship aside for my sake, especially with our history, and I don't want to put her in an unfair situation by making her feel like she's having to balance the two of us, but neither do I want to put myself in an unfair situation by continuing to ignore my own feelings about him and the entire debacle.

So I tell her, point blank, that I still care about her, but we've grown apart, and I think the healthiest solution is to end our friendship. I wish her the best with Tim and explain that this isn't anyone's fault, it's just that we were already growing apart and with everything that's happened, I don't think that our relationship is repairable.

Since then, I've not had much contact with the extended friend group for similar reasons, though I'm 90% sure they've sent a gift basket for my last two birthdays, they haven't attached a name or said anything about it.

I still feel terrible about the entire situation and sometimes doubt if I did the right thing, or if there was a better way of handling things. So. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[wingzie]

Behind the Screen

The Beginning

On 20th September 2020 I posted my first ever Live Reactions on GCF in Tokyo. I was very nervous. In a world full of so much hate, would my attempt to go back in time to reminisce together and spread positivity be accepted? I wasn’t so sure. My idea behind the very concept of Live Reactions was because I was sick of so many fights about GCF in Tokyo. I wanted to show the true loving reactions to these moments, without all the drama that ends up going around in a vicious cycle. Thus, I started doing some research.

After I finished advanced searching on various social media platforms, I got ready to make the thread. I found myself quickly enjoying looking through old posts. It was fun and I think that’s a big part of why I am still making these now, nearly three years later. Plus the support. Once the thread was made, I posted it and actually hid my phone. I came back to it about an hour later and was very surprised to see such a huge response to it. At the time, it was one of my most popular posts and instantly there was a desire for more. 

I decided to throw myself into it.  If people wanted more, then I was happy to help with that! Especially when it was making so many people happy. I made a new Google Drive account and a spreadsheet to go with it, so that I could keep track of which Jikook moments I had already done or not. Over time, I would start formatting my posts properly and understand how the advanced search function worked on Twitter. I am a History and English major, so being accurate is very important to me. This gave birth to my second style of posts: Discussion and timeline threads. The Unexpected

Though these threads are well received and made with a lot of love, there was a dark side to this that I have never really spoken about before. The jikooker hierarchy is a strange one and is one that I try to ignore, but with that comes consequences and a certain isolation. A group of jikookers did not like that my account had apparently grown from out of nowhere and started spreading rumours about me, my posts and my identity. This hurt because I had never spoken to these people before. I would love it if we actually conversed, because I enjoy talking to people and I like to think that I am a pleasant person. But they were not interested and instead they continued to try and tarnish my name. I decided to come out to my closest friends and just continued what I was always doing.

I mostly ignored the bullying and it soon stopped once they realised that I was really not interested in the drama. I never have been and never will. After all, that was the main reason I started this journey of making threads. To try and counter the hate and drama, I just never expected it from my own side. It made me more determined than ever and I also made a promise to myself, to make sure others NEVER experienced what I did. A good friend of mine recently revealed that I was one of the only ones that would reply to their curious messages about Jikook. I feel like this is also something important: How we are seen from the outside. We want Jikook to be recognized for their bond and their talent. But how can we do that if all we do is fight or act better than others? I will always be here to talk or help others, it’s just in my nature to do so.

The Present and The Future

In the last few months or so my life has changed dramatically, in real life and also online. I have lost family members, got a new job and I am currently on carers leave. I decided to bring my laptop in the hope that I could work on some posts whilst everything was happening. I have (somehow) managed to find a balance between both and now have a loose schedule that I try to follow. I also try to not pressure myself whenever there is a new Jikook moment to instantly start working on it. I used to get really stressed, but now I am much better. One thing, however, is making this whole process rather difficult. Twitter. Or “X” as it’s now called. I can no longer just work on a post whenever I want to, I have to be time conscious. I currently have four accounts and have to rotate between them. Last night Jungkook went on We-live, with Jimin active in the comments. Jikookory happened. It was around 2am my time, but I’m still struggling to sleep in case I am needed. I decided to work on getting screenshots and it was hard. The search function does not work as well as it used to and my timeline is messed up on my backup accounts. There’s probably a case study that can be done here, but I just really wanted to work on a post without being restricted. I continued though, determined to show what others see. Sometimes we’re only aware of what is is happening in our own circles and not what is going on around us. Those that are in personal spaces with me know my deep frustration with all of this. On my Birthday, my main account got double limited and then my second account got locked. It was not fun. However, I refuse to give up. I have already completed my scheduled posts for August and September and am (very slowly) working on posts ready for November and December. Assuming that “X” is still around then. If not, I’ll post elsewhere or here. And for those asking why I haven’t been posting on here, my account seems to be bugged and won’t let me post links or videos in text posts for some reason. No idea why. Guess I don’t have much luck with social media platforms. With the way things are right now, this is a promise. I will continue to keep doing what I have been doing over all these years. It might be harder but I still have that same goal that I’ve always had: To spread postivity and appreciation for Jikook for all in a safe environment. Love you all.

[saintsenara]

How does your adhd help or make more difficult your job as a doctor?

thank you very much for the ask, pal!

obviously, this answer needs to start with a little acknowledgement of my relative privilege when it comes to my adhd.

like many women, i was diagnosed as an adult, but i was lucky enough that this happened when i was still a student [six year degree coming in clutch - the fact that i had to pay for the diagnosis, not so much], which meant that when i qualified and started actually working, i'd had several years of taking medication and coming up with techniques to manage my life. i can very well imagine [particularly because i know so many people it's happened to] how much more difficult i would find doing my job if i had only recently acquired - or was still waiting for - a diagnosis.

as i've said, the reasons for my late diagnosis were primarily gender-related - i'm a cisgender woman, and so even though i have the more "classic", "male" version of adhd [by which i mean that i'm hyperactive, rather than the inattentive-type manifestation of the condition which is presumed - although not, in my view, entirely accurately - to be more common in women] i wasn't screened as a child because adhd was seen as a thing which boys had.

but they're also because the circumstances of my early life - above all, that my family wasn't housing- or food-insecure, and that my parents were able to have a work-life balance because of this - allowed me to cope well enough with the bad parts of being a child with an undiagnosed neurological disability to be extremely high-achieving while at school. i was in trouble all the time - as most of us were - but this was usually because i spent my time in the classroom messing around, safe in the knowledge that i could race through any work last minute and be completely fine. i was my teachers' nightmare, but it was for the extremely chic reason that all the consequences they threatened me with never came to pass. i was told for fourteen years of schooling that the rug was about to pulled out from under me if i didn't buck up my ideas. instead, i got top marks in every exam, i got into an excellent university to study a competitive subject, i got a first in that subject, i have also - as well as my medical training - got a phd, i'm in an interesting and unusual speciality. i have a lot of letters after my name.

this is because i'm astonishingly clever - and i won't apologise for stating that as fact - but it's also due to good fortune. adhd [especially adhd which is undiagnosed until adulthood] is enormously overrepresented in the prison population, among addicts, among those who have no qualifications, among the long-term unemployed. i think it's important to simultaneously recognise that - while i do think of myself as disabled, and i'm right to - i am very, very lucky in the treatment plan and support system i have. i could be in a very different position had even minor things about my childhood changed.

but with this context taken into account... my view is genuinely that medicine is the number one job for the dopamine-challenged.

i'm not going to go into details about my specialism on the public timeline, but it has several aspects which work really well for my brain.

it's usually very fast-paced and unpredictable. like many people with adhd, i am excellent at working under pressure [and i'm great in a crisis] and very much not excellent without it.

but even when we have slower days it still always feels like i'm progressing towards a tangible goal. like many people with adhd, i'm not great at visualising long-term things - i think in the now and the not-now - but my work relates to cases where the long-term goals and outcome are easy to visualise, and i like that.

it's an area of medicine which is, essentially, puzzle-solving, often in creative and novel ways. like many people with adhd, i struggle to maintain focus on tasks which are too repetitive - but i'm also, as we often are, very good at spotting patterns and details, i have excellent intuition, and i'm a very good lateral thinker.

it lets me be on my feet a lot, to be moving around, and to be doing things physically. my fidgeting has really been cut down by the ol' lisdexamfetamine, but the twitchy impulses which remain are channelled very nicely into being able to do things with my hands and have it count towards my workload.

it's very sociable. i get to spend a lot of time just having a natter with the nurses - and i always have someone around to body double with - but i also get to work with lots of other departments and other non-medical professionals, i teach medical students, i present at conferences, and so on. it's very busy, there's always something new going on, and something which interests me is guaranteed to pop up just when i'm starting to get a bit fed up with a sitting-at-my-desk task...

and the "this interests me" point is the key one, i think.

like many people with adhd, my issue isn't a deficit of attention, it's an inability to easily control the focus of that attention. i have a typically low tolerance for boredom, and i find it extremely difficult both to start and to concentrate on enough to complete tasks which don't interest me.

but i like what i do - i find it fascinating - and that means that i have a lot of attention to devote to it. i can't remember what day my bins go out or what my mam asked me to pick up for her from the supermarket, but i can remember endless information pertaining to the human body, no matter how grim the situation that body finds itself in.

it's taken a bit of trial-and-error to get to where i am - i found the surgical rotations of my training really tough, for example, because surgery is a discipline which is very repetitive, and which lacks that mystery-solving element which so appeals to me - but i'm in a place now where i genuinely think that having adhd makes me a better doctor.

and even the night shifts are worth it to not have to work in an office.

[no disrespect to the spreadsheet girlies...]

[wangmiao]

Shipper Tag Game

thanks so much to @godotismissingx for tagging me again!

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

i'll be honest LOL i was oblivious in stuff like this when i was a teenager. yes, i'd drool over celebrities and characters, but i never knew shipping was a thing.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

i got into the fandom culture very late, so my first ship was joseph chandler x emerson kent from whitechapel

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

i honestly don't remember. i got into fanfic pretty late too. maybe whitechapel as well?

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

nope

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

i don't really do discourse most of the time.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

i don't know how you define no-otp. like is it just something you don't ship, or you hate? there are ships that i don't like, and i just don't mention them at all on my blog. if you know that i've watched a show or film, but i never mention or reblog a popular ship from the show/film, that's probably my no-otp...

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

LOL i'm predictable, shi qiang x wang miao (shiwang) from three-body. i'm especially into reading fanfic recently. one of the first things i check every morning is if there's new shiwang fic.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

shiwang has been living in my mind rent free for an entire year now, and i haven't gotten tired of them yet...probably never will...

recently i'm into cheng bing x pan dahai from the lonely warrior and tang chuan x shi hong from the devotion of suspect x.

and just to name a few other otps: guang hongfeng x zhou xun in day and night, lee joongyeop x cha jaehwan from chimera, lee chang x youngshin in kingdom; cheng fengtai x shangxirui from winter begonia, agron x nasir from spartacus, jack x ianto from torchwood, and my first whitechapel ship is always very important to me.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

i'm used to not having ships be 100% canon. what can you do? sigh!

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

can't really think of anything

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

can't think of anything either...

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

i don't really have one...xD...

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

definitely shiwang...i kinda stopped reading fanfic in early 2019 due to the original sin/原生之罪 drama and a family incident...i might have tried some fanfic occasionally, but i generally wasn't in a mood for fanfic until three-body aired in 2023.

another reason is back then, most chinese fanfic writers don't really use ao3, so lots of fanfic for day and night and original sin was on lofter and weibo instead of ao3. and it's a pain in the ass trying to track fic on those sites. but now, most of the shiwang fic would be on ao3. and because shiwang is very loved in cfandom, new fic never stops coming.

i do read western fandom fanfic too, but definitely not as much as the chinese ones ever since i got back into cdramas in 2017.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

give me all of the dilfslove or dld (dilf loves dilf) LOL.

enemies to lover is something i always like. though how you define "enemy" would be very different in different ships. i also tend to ship work partners (detective duos; cop & some kind of consultant; villain duos)

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship?

maybe the lack of chemistry? if i can't feel the chemistry between the actors, no matter how romantic or hot the plot is between them, i probably won't ship them.

tagging @bahoreal @xinxiaojie @yohankang @zhivchik @a-very-fond-farewell @randomingoftherandomness only if you haven't done this and want to do it; also tagging any followers who want to do this.

[notstilinski]

Highly Suspicious & Unfairly Cute Starters !

Taken from the 2023 novel by Talia Hibbert, Highly Suspicious & Unfairly Cute! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“If they turn up dead tomorrow, you’re boing to be arrested.”

“What is this betrayal?”

“Your grace and maturity continue to astound me.”

“You absolute living demon.”

“Is that how you speak to the greatest sibling of all time?”

“You don’t think I did this on purpose, do you? You know I didn’t. Right? (Name). Do you?”

“It’s shit, I know it’s shit, I realize we’re not friends or anything, but I didn’t mean… I didn’t want to hurt you. Of course I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Are you possessed? You are, aren’t you?”

“Has my room recently been declared public thoroughfare?”

“Maybe I’d be polite to you if I thought you were even physically capable of being polite back.”

“Do you enjoy pissing me off? Would you consider it, like, a hobby?”

“Tell me the last relationship you built. Quickly.”

“How can you justify all the things you said to them?”

“Be careful. Behave yourself. And stick with (Name).”

“Aw, (Name). You don’t have to beg.”

“Please stop saying that before I vomit all over these lovely pants.”

“What do you think I’m going to do, push you into a ditch?”

“Nothing. Just… I knew your quiet and polite routine couldn’t last.”

“I thought you liked it when I kept my mouth shut.”

“You were embarrassed of me. That was the problem. That makes you the bad guy.”

“One day they’ll find out how weird you really are, (Name). You know that, right?”

“The way I see it, we weren’t ever meant to be friends. Whatever we used to be was… accidental or circumstantial…”

“I can’t spend days at a time fighting with you, (Name).”

“Just… warm a person up first, would you?”

“If you went on much longer, I was just gonna push you until you laid down, then turn off the lights.”

“(Name) says a lot of things. They’re incurable positive.”

“Absolute trust leads to absolute heartbreak.”

“For legal reason, I can neither confirm nor deny.”

“I had no idea (Name)’s birthday was an issue of legal contention.”

“Newsflash, your entire family loves me. You’re the only one who needs to get with the program.”

“Cheer up. This is an experience. We’re living life on the edge.”

“Shut up. They’re cold.”

“I’m in turmoil. How could anyone eat at a time like this?”

“Fighting off bears in the woods must forge powerful bonds.”

“Nothing. Ineffectuality is your defining trait.”

“Don’t talk shit to them again. Leave them alone.”

“You’re avoiding a conversation about our friendship because you avoid your feelings.”

“I’m not like you. I really don’t have the whole emotional intelligence thing down.”

“I’ll stop being weird with you, and you stop examining the darkness in my soul, or whatever. Yeah?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. Even if neither of us did anything interesting in our entire lives, it wouldn’t matter.”

“You don’t need to be special or significant to have value. You’re just import, anyways, and people either see that or they don’t. They either love you, or they don’t.”

“Contrary to everything you just said, (Name), I know for a fact that you are very smart.”

“Are you telling me you’re not in love with (Name)?”

“But you know what I care about? Whether or not you’re happy with your bitter, vengeful choices. Are you? Happy?”

“Do you know what you just said to me? Or were you, like, in an emotional fugue state and you’re going to snap out of it and forget the entire thing?”

“You are so repressed.”

“No. When I pulled you on top of me and, you know, gazed dreamily into your eyes and said I liked you, I did not mean as friends. Obviously.”

“You shouldn’t be allowed to look at people like that when you’re interrogating them.”

“I’m not telling you not to have feelings. I’d never tell you what to do in your own head.”

“Is work the only thing people are supposed to dream about? I thought fantasies were supposed to be fun.”

“You’re not allowed to flirt with me while (Name) is in the building.”

“Do you know how annoying it is that intrusive thoughts come almost every time you want things to go well?”

“I shouldn’t feel like this. No one should be able to make me /feel/ like this.”

“Just kiss me. That’s all. What’s a little tongue between friends?”

“I spill my tortured forbidden guts and all you can say is it makes sense?”

“Buddy. We talked about this. Stop memorizing sad statistics.”

“I wish you’d trust me, (Name). I really, really do.”

“Why is your face doing that at this hour of the morning?”

“It’s my natural sunny disposition.”

“I’m not, like, helping you. Just glad I won’t be the only family disappointment.”

“Aren’t you angry at me? For… hiding it?”

“I know you wanted to end it, but I can’t just… suddenly change how I feel about you. I’m trying. All right?”

“The point is, I want to take the risk because I want you. And I trust you. And you’re worth it! Do you get that? You’re worth it to me.”

“(Name), are you sweating? What have I told you about bodily functions? Only in private.”

“Are you gonna propose when we go to McDonald’s later?”

[jeridoesntdourls]

OH GOD its been so long since i posted something actually to do with the arcana BUT i have returned with more thoughts. On my old post about character dynamics and the such with my main 3 (Borea, Attis, Minos) I hadn't quite figured out who they actually were as characters. I had an "aesthetic" in mind, motivations and themes but they all traversed conflict in almost the exact same way so to me it always read as one character just reskinned. GOOD NEWS, i have fixxed this along with some other changes :3

So firstly, name changes. Borea's last name goes from Norche to just Norte (I thought Norte was a little too on the nose but Norche just doesn't sound latin enough to me LMAO). So her full name is now Borea Xandra Norte. Personality wise shes very withdrawn and prefers to spend time buried in paperwork than going to actual Syndicate meetings. The Syndicate is a council that gathers leaders from the various trades and professions that decide the actions taken by the nation of Tua. Borea is extremely well respected amongst her peers, being one of the only houses that sends only one representative to these meetings. She would love to sit them out but feels as if she has to live up to the expectations placed upon her by what seems to be everyone. Truly just a nerd who is very picky about the people who she lets see her more vulnerable side. She tends to be the organizer in a chaotic family, with siblings spread out across the nation and one even leaving to explore the lands beyond, she tries her best to nurture the tenderness and care her parents had sown into them. Because of this she yearns for some sort of clear order and reason to things around her but this instinct has a tendency to become wildly idealistic and removed from reality. She has some awareness to that and together with her fondness for rebels, as her parents both were, she has a soft spot for passionate and practical people, especially her younger sister, Eurus.

Attis Salvo is a golden boy through and through. He is the son of the leaders of an outcast group named the Brass Ring, responsible for mining the ores prevalent through Tua and using them to forge the first fire weapons. After his parents recent death he is left to wade through diplomatic relationships between the new Syndicate and the Brass Ring. Historically, the members of the Ring have fallen ill because of working in the mines and were common amongst the casualties of the revolution. Vesuvia had made a deal with the rebels to offer military aid, which they did not provide, forcing the Brass Ring to create primitive pistols and even armed turrets. Because of this, members of the Ring are against joining the Syndicate and their planned alliance with Vesuvia. Attis is barely scraping by, he knows he can deal with social predicaments much better than his sister but the pressure makes him less reliable, preferring to simply ignore the situation all together or treat it as something beneath him. He was a brilliant artificer in his youth but now he chases the high of starting new projects without minding the pile of half-done inventions lying around his tent. The only lasting happiness he can feel is when he can loose himself into his memories of when his parents were alive, but even that is momentary.

Mino's name is now Medea Ferne Moura! I'm still not too set on how I imagine them to look. Medea was born into the Heilist faith (basically fantasy Christianity), all of their close family and community at large spun around the church and in service to it. Heilsim is not native to Tua but was imported by their original colonizers as a way to pacify the masses, this included a doctrine which valued pain and sacrifice above all else as a form of holiness. Despite it's later reform "God Favors The Lost" is still the church's motto. It was once said as a way of encouraging the subservience of Tua's natives by dangling the loss of approval from God above their heads in case of a counter-attack, now it's a universal chant that God is beside the losers of history until they can stand on their own. This new interpretation has only just barely caught on popularity, there are still groups within the unified church that believe the old doctrine, including a handful of frequenters of the Church of Sebastium, Medea's workplace. Medea themself grew up with the old interpretation and is marked by it. Within them is a deep need to help those who are less fortunate but it is steeped not in a want to do good but in a want to be innocent and, in the conception of the old church, better than the violent revolutionary. Medea, despite rationally knowing better, sabotages themself and others constantly both out of religious need to be victimized and a subconscious want to be needed. They fear that when a person is no longer less fortunate they will be rejected and abandoned, further progressing their internal conflict. This violent battle is covered up by a facade of care and niceties that can not be ruled as entirely false.

[corruptedforce]

respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? I wanted to write Anakin for years, but I don't half ass pick up any character. It's one of the reason why I keep my multi under 15, at all times. I have to have them fleshed out. I've been fascinated by Vader since I was a child. All my friends had Leia Halloween costumes. I just wanted to be Vader. Anakin intrigued me, as well, as I got older. I ALWAYS loved Hayden as Anakin. But, I spent years before ultimately choosing to write him. I had to learn mannerisms, ways he fights, his quirks, his emotional responses, and Vader, because Vader is Anakin.

is there anything you don’t like to write? Look when you play one of the biggest villains in pop culture, there is not much that is off limits. I refuse to ever write or AU him, as a Rebel. He would never be a rebel and I would never write him as such. I also only very rarely and only really for I think one or two people, will write him not falling. His fall is extremely important to what the chosen one prophecy needs, to fufill. I'm not huge on fix-it. I mean, sometimes I enjoy them and I will never change Hayden as Anakin's FC. I don't ship him with other males, with the exception of one and it's writer specific. I don't write smut on him to just write smut, but if it fits, I'm okay. I also don't auto ship.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? Angst, pain, drama, things that make you cry and hate life. I love happiness if we have like something dramatic too. The prequels are a tragedy. They just are. Anakin's life even before his fall, he may have been married, but he was at war. He has brief times with Padme for instance, when he does have happy moments, but war is something that was a lot of his life. I lean towards his destiny more towards trying to create a healthy family dynamic, that didn't exist.

how do you come up with headcanons? I have things knocking around my head and sometimes I get asks. I'm currrently working on one, for three days now based off someone asking me what I thought of one quote.

do you write in silence or do you play music? usually, the TV is on.

do you plan your replies or wing them? I wing them mostly or for the most part, I don't pre-read the previous reply always. I mean, I will sometimes, but with certain partners, I know how I'll react. Sometimess, I have to calm Anakin or Vader down if it's angst before I reply because he's a mess, who will say things, if I don't. But, my best rp partners understand his reactionary responses.

do you enjoy shipping? I love shipping. Just not having it forced on me. I'm open to a lot, if it it makes sense. I also love many types of connections.

what’s your alias/name? Tanya

age? Older than 30. I'm at the age where it says years young on Tumblr.

birthday? April 21st

favorite color?  Cubbie Blue

favorite song?  Anything off the Sons of Anarchy Soundtracks by lately Day is Gone by Noah Gundersen and Come Join the Murder; Also, Lightning Crashes by Live is a song I listen to a lot, Anything by Bob Seger when I need to feel close to my mom

last movie you watched?  Red Dawn (not my idea)

last show you watched?  One Tree Hill

last song you listened to? Ainsi Bas La Vida by Indila.

favorite food?  Tough Guys by REO Speedwagon

favorite season?  sprinter. it's that time in February - March, when it's like 70 but not miserable yet.

do you have a tumblr best friend?

For the last year and half and some change, 100% it has to be Mica (mayxthexforce) and Tori (bchemianrhapscody). With Mica, I have talked to her more than I have talked to anyone, in a time when things were really hard for me, after I lost my mom. But, there are others in the Star Wars fandom, and those are people who have been my friend, even when lies were told and I lost long-term friends. Some people aren't like bestie status but I adore them so much. More recently, I have been talking a ton to @story1ines of late and she is quickly becoming a close friend who I bombard with messages. I also adore @xx--ofmanythoughts--xx, who listens to my baseball ramblings.

I have been on tumblr rp for 13 years and there are people who have come and gone. I will always still communicate with the ones I was the closest to in the world offline, but I forever love my first rp friendship, the Rachel to my Puck, my main Tara to my Jax who I wrie with on Discord only now, the only Wendy I will ever accept to my Jax, my one and only Athelstan and Philippe @mcnsieur, who even though I don't talk to everyday by any means because life is busy, I literally can message her anytime. So many other people I am not remembering.

TAGGED BY: @mayxthexforce

TAGGING: @galaccias, @bchemianrhapscdy, @cagedpotential, @writtenxbeginnings, @story1ines, @mcnsieur, @xx--ofmanythoughts--xx

[pro-birth]

A disclaimer before I share: Rebecca Kiessling has not been supportive of Jen after Abby Johnson had lied about her history. HOWEVER, something disgusting has happened recently that has put innocent victims at risk due to unethical journalism. From Kiessling’s Facebook page:

Friends, I'm going to change my social media habits and post my personal things for "Facebook friends only" because of my horrible experience with a reporter and because I've been harassed by people who I've blocked who still use others they know to creep on my page, or use fake accounts to stalk me, and then harass me - people who don't understand what "leave me alone" means and don't care how much they hurt others. I've had an open page since the beginning - roughly 2006, because I'm considered to be a public figure. I've enjoyed the opportunity to meet wonderful people from all over the globe - people who've heard me speak and would like to follow me through my open Timeline. I have a public figure page - Rebecca Kiessling Pro-Life Speaker, but more people have clearly preferred to just follow me on my personal Timeline as opposed to liking that page. I'm not Facebook friends with everyone I meet because there is a Facebook friend limit. As you've seen, I have posted personal things publicly because I haven't wanted to be one-dimensional. I value real connection - not merely posting about abortion and pro-life stuff all the time. My life is more than that, and I think that's an inherent part of my pro-life testimony - I'm a real person with ups and downs in life like any of you, but my life is valuable, just like yours. I've shared my tragedies and I've shared my times of joy. I've felt that posting real-life things, big and small, has fostered developing closer relationships with those I've met because amazing conversations arise when we share our lives, whether it's just encouraging posts, talking about the weather, hobbies, challenges or a movie we enjoyed.

With the recent release of The New Yorker article and the almost year-long experience of interviews for what was originally supposed to be an article about terminating parental rights of rapists, I now see the need to limit my personal Timeline. I've already hidden some personal posts and I'm going to permanently make all of my past posts private. I also had to make my friends list private because... The New Yorker reporter was somehow able to spend months scouring years of my public posts, and found one with my paternal cousin (once removed). In conjunction with my once-public friends list of nearly 5,000, was inexplicably somehow able to ascertain who my biological father is. I didn't find this out until I read the New Yorker article which said that the reporter had actually placed a phone call to the man who raped my mother. (He shockingly did the same with other rape victims interviewed for the story, despite his promise to protect them.) The article says my bio father hung up the phone when my name was mentioned, but according to numerous paternal family members, this man is still dangerous, has a bad temper, is extremely violent, etc. and recommended I never meet him. I want to be safe, my birthmom and family to be safe, so I've never met him and I've kept it all private for that very reason.

I have been through hell in my life and I don't have the bandwidth to deal with cyber stalkers. I've made certain that no one else can access this kind of information, but there are other cyber stalkers harassing me as well, including the Satanic Temple psychos who've harassed me since their leader took the abortion pill on-air when we were on a political debate program Fox 2 Detroit last March (I think it was.) I've blocked hundreds since.

I'm just done with it. My peace is more important. So please accept my apologies, but to the roughly 10,000 people who follow me on my Timeline who aren't actually Facebook friends with me, the posts from me that you will see will just be about pro-life activism, maybe some other encouraging things. But I haven't been posting nearly as much activism as I used to since my sons' deaths, so you probably won't see much from me. I'm so sorry.

For my facebook friends, you'll still see all of my typical posts. But I may narrow my friends list if I feel anyone isn't honoring healthy boundaries. If only everyone would just be courteous and willing to live at peace.

The article in question is here. Kiessling has not asked anyone to write to the New Yorker demanding apologies for putting victims in danger, but if you read that publication regularly and/or are subscribed, please consider demanding justice from the editors for allowing this journalist to act so unethically.

[royalmedani]

Previous | Next    

Author’s Notes below the cut  TW: Terrorism, bigotry (LGBTQ specific), societal violence, death, and grief.  Also a little rambly as often my worldbuilding notes are... 

Since I didn’t make room to have a full fake article about this event I thought I’d expand on it a bit here. I’ve mentioned the Bombing At the Decks event a few times in passing but this is a very important moment in the history of the isles because of the sheer scale of how many people were killed in the incident. 

The Decks is the name of the former building that housed the Viridi Parliament. There are three representatives from each Comiterra. Viridis has 15 of these administrative districts and since there was a mandatory session on that day at MINIMUM the building contained these 45 people and their necessary staff.  However as this vote was incredibly important - they were doing a massive overhaul of the inheritance laws to allow adopted and “unclaimed” (bastards) children from families to be legally recognized by their families as heirs - there were a lot of media, spectators, and dignitaries (like Princess Sancha of Apricus) in attendance to voice their support for these changes. Honestly Viridis is kind of the last island to do anything progressive most of the time so there was a lot of positive energy around the event.  That being said, this ruling was particularly relevant to the Viridi royal family at the time because their proclaimed heir, Thea was/is gay and the despite the fact that she gave birth to her daughter, the state didn’t recognize her as an heir because her birth was not “natural.” 

Anyway, the vote went off fine because the organization that orchestrated the attack did want this to happen. We’ll talk more about their goals when we meet their members down the road but the short is they timed the attack so the bombs went off just after the changes were confirmed because they benefited directly. The thought was that since it was clear they were supportive of the changes they wouldn’t be the focus of the follow up investigations but we’ll just say they misjudged some elements of their plan and were caught. 

In the meantime though the resulting bloodbath is considered one of the darkest times in Viridi history. The few Comi that survived the attack were pegged as accomplices and hunted down and ceremonially drowned in the ocean by angry members of families that lost their loved ones. The royal family itself was impacted quite dramatically since whole branches of the family were present to support their heir and her child. Only five major members of the core royal house survived: 

Prince Bastian, who was very unwell at the time and bed ridden. News of the event crushed him and he didn’t recover from his illness dying just a few days after the event. To be fair, he was VERY, VERY old. He’d been on the throne for like 70 years.  

Doma Thea, who upon hearing that the ruling would not go into effect until the generation after her daughter, was furious and boycotted the vote with her wife. Unfortunately her daughter, who wanted it to go through for her own personal reasons, did attend and died in the event. Her guilt and rage over this led to her eventual abdication in favor of her niece Estra. She blamed the noble class as a whole for not being more accepting and “Would not be able to effectively guide people who do not respect me or my family.” 

High Sister Neva, Estra’s older sister (seen singing the mourning song in this shot). She had taken Temple a couple years before and was serving as a Singing Sister at the Sky Spire on the border of Fideli and Apricus at the time. 

Doma Estara, (aka Estra, the current Princess) she had wanted to attend but her father talked her out of it saying that she should be with her children that night since she had only really recently given birth to Zarina and had a difficult relationship already with her oldest child Poppy. 

Dom Julian, Estra and Neva’s younger brother. He was attending uni abroad, which is pretty common for the family, and was discouraged from coming home for the vote cause “we have enough support, you focus on your studies.” 

A handful of children from Bastian’s “unclaimed lines” also survived but they are not in the pool of succession and do not get a lot of attention from the press. 

So anyway to wrap up this whole thing, processions and parades are a BIG cultural thing in the isles. So every year for the last 15 years or so (once things calmed down after the attack), Princess Estra has led a memorial walk from the New House (the royal palace in the capitol) to the former location of The Decks. Once they arrive she lights a big bonfire and they have a special communal mourning song together led by a high ranking member of the priesthood.

[thebookoflcve]

      𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕔𝕣𝕪 - 𝕒 𝕞𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖

|| Breadwinner - Kasey Musgrave || 28 reasons - Selugi || Fearless - Le Sserafim || girls like me don’t cry - Thuy || As it was - Harry Styles || Cry for Me - Twice || Motive - Ariana Grande & Doja Cat || 

_____________________________________________________________

(—) ★ spotted!! SEO SI-EUN on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 30 year old looks like IM JINAH, but i don’t really see it. while  the ACTRESS is known for being INDUSTRIOUS my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be MELODRAMATIC  i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song 28 Reasons - Selugi

𝔽𝕦𝕝𝕝 𝔹𝕚𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕪: 

Seo Si-eun lived in Gangnam her entire life looking over the rolling waves of the Han River.. Born to two gluttonous politicians, she had learned from an early age just how important it was to be a proper lady and a snake in the weeds. She spent the majority of her time in some stuffy elitist boarding school, riding horses, tending to Na-ri and forgetting what her parents' face actually looked like; the ultimate cross to bear when you’re the oldest daughter. Despite the expense of her personal autonomy, she loved every second of it. With every accolade, she was showered with luxury gifts which had been the currency of love in her home.

Between all of the refinement and instruction, Si-eun comforted some of that loneliness that she felt with movies. There was something calming about the lovable protagonist, sultry antagonist, and all of the adoring onlookers in between. It was in those moments hidden beneath blankets watching fuzzy old tapes that her true passion crystalized before her.

On the eve of her nineteenth birthday, her very last year of secondary school, she skipped her English course to attend an open audition for the drama Dream High. She landed the role of Kim Pil-sook. From that moment on, her life changed drastically. Si-eun had become a household name and a main staple in Korea. 

Si-eun met her husband on set of one of her dramas and it was love at first sight. The two were fast in love and married quickly after meeting; a side effect of her love starved childhood. After five years and one compromising picture, Si-eun flew off the handle in a melodramatic rage and filed for divorce. 

Since filing, she had effectively used her sister’s decision to come to the United States as a reason to make a splash in the international media and a way to get away from her husband. 

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤:

The One That Won’t Go Away-  Her ex-husband who is innocent of all insane allegations and really just wants to reunite with his wife. 

Ride or Die - Her second family filled with friends and allies who can handle her emotional outbursts

Golden Hour - A possible fling/friends with benefits situation where emotional attachment is unavoidable. 

Blood is Thicker Than Water - Seo Na-ri <3

Co-workers, scene partners, etc.

[transenbyconfessions]

[cw self loathing, self-abuse, mention of suicidal ideation (nothing too descriptive), dissociation, mention of car accident — this does have a happy ending though, and all these warnings can be avoided by skipping the first three paragraphs. though a few are mentioned again in the last few paragraphs as well]

there's a part of myself that i resent. for years i've considered it like a controlling abusive monster in my head, one that i created. it's more or less an artificial intelligence that i put in control of my mind and body when i decided that i didn't want to live anymore. i didn't think suicide was a real option because i didn't want to hurt or disappoint my family and friends. so i just "quit" life. i, quite metaphorically, "logged out" of my own brain and put Something Else in charge.

the point of this thing that i created was that no one could even tell it wasn't me anymore. to prove to myself that if i behaved satisfactorily, no one would miss me. i would become someone else, replaced entirely. i named this thing [birthname], because that was its job— to be what i never could, to be the perfect actor and mask, to pretend to be what everyone wished they had in my place.

i lived like this for a little over a decade, experiencing increasing amounts of derealization and depersonalization until I was eventually driven to seek therapy after getting into a car accident and nearly severely injuring my best friend.

i've been in therapy for nearly two years now (with a several month break admittedly, due to factors outside of my control). in the first few months, i started feeling safer to be myself.

it all culminated when i asked my therapist to give me a reason why i should let my feelings do as they please when my mind knows so much better than them. she replied "well, why not?" in such a way that i remembered all at once that feelings are so important to leading a life worth living—in essence...i felt as if i had been asked why i shouldn't live, and i had no answer. i had, somewhere along the way, lost my reasons to abandon my life, and with that discovery, i flourished.

i discovered that i had a gender after all. i started using my preferred pronouns. i even found a name that suits me perfectly. the creature i named [birthname] slowly receded to the back of my mind, and i started learning how to be myself again for the first time in over 10 years. over the following year until present, i discovered i'm actually multigender+ xenogender, and i felt romantic attraction for the first time (though, i don't really intend to ever act on it). i also moved in with my queerplatonic partner who i love dearly.

recently, though, along with a major life change, [birthname] came back. something about adult expectations of me seems to be triggering in that regard. i was very scared at first because i didn't want to lose everything i'd found about myself, but i was surprised to discover that i was still here. i spoke with my partner and mother about it, and today i spoke with my therapist about it.

i guess i'm writing this mostly because i've spent a huge portion of my life hating the mask i've called [birthname]. and when i told my therapist about deciding to create [birthname] as more or less a persona to take over for me at one of my lowest points, she expressed joy and relief. i was so confused, because i felt like this was the source of so many problems. letting go of that mask was one of the best things that happened to me so i felt frustrated that i even created that persona in the first place.

but she said to me, "you survived." and it all clicked together. i wasn't ready to exist back then. and i still saved my own life. i created [birthname] when i was in a difficult place, in order to get through a time hard enough that the other option i was considering was death. the thing i chose wasn't "years of dissociation and misery."

what i chose was life.

and now that i have survived, i think, i can finally let [birthname] go. i want to put that old crutch of a personality, and that name, to rest.

i think, after all these years, i'm finally ready to call it my deadname. not dead as in disrespectful. but dead as in gone, passed away. served its purpose and released into the night sky. i like to think that like any other dead thing, my deadname served its purpose in life, and i want to give it respect even in death.

so, thank you, [deadname], for all you've done. and i hope we can both be free and at peace from here on out.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hello!

Trigger warnings for hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, stuff like that.

So, I experience frequent hallucinations, mainly gustatory (taste) and visual, with the occasional auditory ones. I experience delusions (if I've understood the definition correctly, but that may be my anxiety) - mostly ones that people can read my thoughts, everyone wants to betray me, there's a camera in my head people are tracking me through, and, more recently, my family is trying to trap me and hurt me. That last one can sometimes be to the point where I have trouble realizing it isn't real and someone else needs to either guide me enough until it's over, or at least snap me out of a more intense moment where I'm physically doing something (yet to happen around said family). I also hear voices, particularly one that tells me everyone is out to get me and is overall very paranoid.

I have yet to bring any of this up with my therapist, particularly due to my physical reactions around the last delusion, and the fear that she may put me in a psych ward ("a danger to yourself or others" is extremely unclear when other people seem to make leaps to cliffs you could never even see based on a tiny thing you said), and my psychiatrist doesn't seem interested in telling me what's exactly going on, just in treating it (even though for me, having a name to it is much more helpful, mentally, than treatment - my brain is weird alright).

I was going to look into possible disorders, but I feel like I'm jumping too quickly, and maybe it's just something that's not connected to a disorder, you know? And even if it is, I don't have the first clue what to look at besides schizophrenia. So...I guess I'm asking for a little bit of support, validation, and a sprinkle of help if you can offer it? Sorry for the rambling ask with no clear goal, I'm tired and just thought I'd take the shot in the dark. Thank you for anything you can give, and I am so sorry if this is insensitive, rude, or confusing in any way.

Hi anon,

Please don't apologize! You do seem to have a clear goal, and this was not insensitive, rude, or confusing whatsoever!

So it sounds like you're experiencing a lot of hallucinations, paranoia, and even some level of delusions. It's causing you a lot of distress for a multitude of reasons, and you want to bring it up with your therapist but you're worried that your therapist will send you to a psych ward.

I think it's worth exploring the fact that you said your psychiatrist "doesn't seem interested in telling me what's exactly going on, just in treating it." I think it's important for your psychiatrist to be pretty much completely transparent with you regarding what they believe you may be dealing with or their thoughts for how to manage it. It sounds like your psychiatrist doesn't make you feel listened to or cared about - only on a surface level. That's not necessarily uncommon with psychiatrists, to mainly keep sessions to any medication changes etc. - but they should at least be transparent with you.

It's not apparent to me that you are a danger to yourself or others, so I don't believe you would be put in a psych ward even if you did disclose what you're experiencing (correct me if I'm wrong). That being said, I do understand how scary the idea of psych wards and being put in one can be, but consider that psych wards are ultimately there to ensure your sanity and safety. Also remember that if you are admitted, it won't be forever - my psychiatrist said that the stays are typically only for a few weeks. My sister was once put in a psych ward and she said it turned out to be actually quite fun, because she met a ton of friends who she bonded with over similar experiences and they'd often crack jokes about the whole thing. I think the fearmongering and antagonization around psych wards are unfortunately common, and while they have some merit (not all psych wards are perfect, some of them are bad) I don't believe that those anecdotes or attitudes should scare you out of getting the help you may need.

I think it would only benefit you to talk to your therapist about what's been going on lately. Please remember that part of a therapist's job is to be impartial, empathetic, honest, and nonjudgmental. I think being able to talk to your therapist about this will not only help you jump over the hurdle of confessing something rather vulnerable, but your therapist will only better help you find ways to cope with this, as well as getting a clearer understanding of your world.

We are not professionals so it's not really my place to tell you what disorder you might have, and so I do recommend that you perhaps ask your therapist about what they think it might be.

Please know that you're not alone, not only in your experiences but in your fears surrounding being honest with your psychiatrist or therapist. It's a big step to make so just be patient with yourself. You are valid. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun