#very informative tiktok thank u for sharing!!

[rollercoasterwords]

Hey I see ur thing about zombies and I would like to share this TikTok about a girl writing a zombie screenplay about the true origin and mythology of zombies, which is quite different than anything that exists in the media

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFkw8fqM/

ahhh thank you for sharing!! i'm on my computer let me see if i can put it as a link here

but yes to quickly summarize for anyone who can't watch the video - the original zombi comes from Haitian folklore, and rather than being a cannibalistic, bloodthirsty monster it was a reanimated corpse forced to continue to work even after death. the zombi as a cultural figure representing the horror of slavery was extremely important both during the Haitian revolution and in postcolonial Haiti.

and because i can't shut up about zombies i'm gonna ramble a little about zombie history but i'm gonna put it under a cut to try and be slightly less annoying lmao

okay so i referenced this in my last post about zombies but the transformation of the zombie into the cultural figure most people know it as today was a process that took place over the 20th century and is deeply entwined with colonialism. like, the U.S. occupied Haiti in what essentially amounted to a neocolonial project (bc the u.s. loves neocolonialism) from 1915-1934, and that's how america was first introduced to the mythology of the zombi. and then in White Zombie the Halperin brothers took the Haitian myth of the zombi and stripped it out of the cultural context of slavery and turned it into a narrative of the Good White Heteronormative American Couple vs the Evil Foreign Voodoo Doctor. and it was that movie where the "zombie" was introduced to an american audience.

and so for a while the zombie maintained its roots of like, being a reanimated corpse that is controlled by a living being wielding some form of dark magic. and then in 1968 we get Night of the Living Dead, and the thing is--the monsters in that movie weren't zombies when it was first released. Romero introduced america to a horde of cannibalistic corpses, created by radiation from an exploded space probe, and it wasn't until after the movie was released and became popular that people began to conflate romero's living dead with the bastardized version of the zombie that already existed in american media. romero himself didn't actually embrace the term zombie until ten years later, when Dawn of the Dead was released in 1978, and so that's when this new imagining of the zombie really began to coalesce, completely detached from its cultural origins in slavery and now transfigured into a bogeyman for any cultural "Other" that americans were being told to be afraid of at any given time.

and so really the only shared link between american zombies and haitian zombis was

reanimated dead bodies

ego death - no soul/identity/human consciousness

and the thing is, even those two links have been broken down over the past four decades. like, now the only link that seems to hold true across zombie media is cannabilsm, which wasn't even part of the original zombi folklore.

and like. another thing is. zombies as a monster have historically been very much bound up in colonialism and xenophobia and have been used, in many ways, to reinforce fear of the cultural Other. like, so much zombie media is deeply steeped in nationalism, in heteronormativity, in xenophobia, etc. etc., and part of that is just horror--horror as a genre, for all its potential to undermine societal norms, can just as easily be used to reinforce dominant systems of power by playing into fears about marginalized groups. but this is part of why the shift in zombie narratives over the past...idk. 10ish years? interests me so much. because now we're finally starting to see some zombie media that says any goddamn thing that isn't just "the point of Fight Zombie is to Rebuild New Society that looks just like Old Society because that is what makes us Human." and we're finally starting to get some zombie media that critiques dominant power systems instead of just playing into their hands, which is something that the original myth of the zombi did that was just completely stripped away in the colonial introduction of the zombie to american media.

anyway! i think i'm completely losing my train of thought at this point and just following my brain as it hops into different rabbit holes, but in conclusion -- yes, the origins of the zombie are frequently erased and that is not a good thing!! horror is such a fraught genre and to really understand the monsters we see and the ways they change throughout history we have to understand where they come from!

[jolynesmom]

hey can u share ur void success story? Would love to see it

hii this is the storytime I promised about getting into the void first try <3

disclaimer: this post is long asf, I like being very detailed when talking about such stuff because you may never know which insignificant detail might help someone + I always liked when people would go into detail about shifting or the void state

this happened a few months ago. I’m a reality shifter and have been trying for around 4 years and never succeeded for more than a few seconds, so I got extremely burned out with the traditional methods

I decided to research about shifting on tumblr to see if the community is popular here as well (previously I’ve only researched about it on tiktok, reddit and a bit on youtube) and found a bit of general info about shifting, but what has gotten my attention was a person who got into the void state and instantly manifested their desires. I thought it looked a lot like shifting so I read some more

I knew a tiny bit about the void state from shifttok, but I’ve never been interested to learn more until that point. the og post said that they specifically reached the void state by doing yoga nidra so I thought it was a requirement for the void at that point. I didn’t know what yoga nidra was, so I sent the person a message asking about it and went about my day deciding I’m giving up on traditional methods and will start to work with the void state

for some reason I didn’t research any further that day (probably because I was burnt out by my shifting attempt the night before and didn’t feel like ingesting more information)

at night I decided to try to shift again. I drank blue lotus tea and put on a guided meditation. after 10 minutes I get bored and switched the meditation for white, brown and pink noises and fell asleep saying affirmations

I got woken up by my alarm at around 10 a.m. (I didn’t shift) and I tried to get out of bed to really woke up, but I ended up falling asleep until 11:30 a.m. when I got woken up again by my loud parents getting ready for work, so I tried to play on my phone to get more lucid and not fall asleep again because I didn't feel like getting out of bed, but I also didn't want to continue sleeping. my eyes were practically closing by themselves atp, but I went on tumblr and saw the person I messaged the night before answered my message and said they'll post a guide one of these days. after thanking them I closed my eyes again thinking of the void state. I remember saying to myself something like “I really want to get into the void, I can’t wait for the guide so I can do yoga nidra”

for the next hour I fell asleep for 10 minutes then woke up for 1-3 minutes at least 3 times (I was very tired, probably because of the previous shifting attempt) and my thoughts were completely blank;

at some point I find myself in my kitchen trying to make coffee and I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or not because the dream was very clear and I usually make coffee after getting out of bed so I thought I had finally woken up

I noticed the jar of instant coffee was almost empty and I asked myself "why is it almost empty, I bought a new jar yesterday" (I finished my jar yesterday and wanted to buy a new one today btw), then when I went pick up the jar I was instantly hit with the realization that I was lucid dreaming, so not even a second later I threw myself to the ground in a crisscross position to allow myself to fall through the floor and shift to my dr

when I hit the ground I closed my eyes and stated my intention of wanting to shift to my jujutsu kaisen dr, but I didn’t even get to finish my intention when I felt myself being pulled through the floor in an infinite dark void; I realized I entered the void state

I was calm, but really wanted to get to my dr, so I started affirming and visualizing. I felt myself being pulled again through the void, a bit lower, before stopping again

I got annoyed and started thinking of my dr again then started hearing a voice; I listened for a bit then realized I was hearing an argument between yuuji and megumi. I didn't understand because they were talking in japanese, but at the same time I understood the message?? they were arguing about how to exorcise a curse or something like that

the weird thing about their voices is that when I dream, lucid dream, visualize or make up scenarios, all the voices are quiet and muffled in the distance and the tone never changes, but the voices I was hearing were loud and clear as if I was next to them, which has NEVER happened to me before. I think I literally stood there frozen for 15 seconds because of how loud and real (?) their voices sounded

anyways

I was getting annoyed because I kept getting distracted and started saying affirmations and trying to imagine where I wanted to wake up. I couldn't feel my body the whole time, I was pure conciseness.

I told myself that as long as I shift, I don't care where I end up, then suddenly I started to hear more voices including a girl's voice (they were most probably people from other drs of mine).

I got confused and a bit alarmed, so I asked out loud what do I have to do to shift. suddenly all the voices got muffled and a man with a lower voice started talking to me in english. I didn't know who that was and I got confused, but tried my best to follow his instructions. I started to hear noises from my cr (the cars passing my apartment as I live in a noisy area) but tried not to wake up. because of the noises I woke up and suddenly I was in my room again. I panicked but didn’t open my eyes or move my body (I could semi-feel my body, but it was mostly asleep) and literally yelled in my mind ‘I want to get back into the void!!’ suddenly I’m in the void again, this time I didn’t feel the falling sensation, it was instant

back into the void I saw nothing was working I decided to shift to my waiting room because I remembered someone once saying that a waiting room is some kind of parallel located between your cr and other realities and this is why it can be easier to shift there. I intended to shift to my waiting room then felt how my body got pulled lower into the void again, then it suddenly stopped when I heard my phone buzzing in my cr because of a notification

I got extremely frustrated and decided to fully wake up

I woke up at around 1:20 p.m. and was very happy with what I just went through.

thinking about the last voice for a bit, I initially thought it was gojo, but it sounded too different to be him, plus the man was talking in english, so I figured it could've been zhongli from my genshin dr since I scripted english is an universal language in teyvat, but then I thought it was weird that he responded since I'm not very close to him in my dr, but after some more thinking I realized that we're actually connected in my dr so it kinda makes sense to be him, but I'm still not 100% sure, I'm only sure about hearing yuuji and megumi arguing

it took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that when I was in the void and said I want to shift to my dr and started falling then stopped and I heard yuuji and megumi, I was actually in my dr and I just needed to wake up. I thought I would get woken up instantly just like with shifting methods, but I actually had to wake myself up from the void. my information was very limited because, like I said in the beginning, I only read one or two posts about the void state beforehand

it would also make sense to hear yuuji and megumi first thing before waking up in my dr, because I scripted that when they go in the school to get sukuna’s finger, I would be asleep in one of the offices (don’t ask) and will witness the whole thing

I think the way I got into the void is an actual method; I forgot the name of it but it might’ve been the phrase method, I’m not too sure

it also shows you don’t have to have a perfect mindset as I thought I can’t possibly get into the void until I do yoga nidra for a few days, so all you need is intention and an alternate state of consciousness

additional things (you can totally skip this if you want to)

after I got into the void state that day, I continued practicing the void state and I almost got into it at least 15 times, but instead of doing it via a lucid dream, I used the lullaby and distraction methods because I have a hard time lucid dreaming. every time I would be pulled into the void with these methods I would instantly think of my cr or get impatient and be immediately be pulled out, so I’m working on that and on how to lucid dream more often

I think I’m getting close into reaching the void again, because I’ve been working on meditation and started teaching my subconscious mind not to think of my cr while going into the void state.

the months of march and april were literally stagnant for me with no little to no success because I strongly believe I got the evil eye or something like that. at the end of february I went back to my home country (which is in eastern europe) to attend my cousin’s 18th birthday and I think I might have been cursed by one of the old ladies attending. I would always get the evil eye by them as a kid, but my grandma would usually remove it for me

my manifestations stopped and I couldn’t reach the void again but I thought it was because of work and uni related stress, but then it hit me it might be something else because I literally never had issues with my manifestations but suddenly I couldn’t manifest anything anymore, so I performed a cleanse and now I’m back again manifesting like it’s my job

a few nights ago I tried to get into the void, after like 8 minutes of meditation my body fell asleep while my mind was awake and I could’ve entered the void, but I sabotaged myself because I told myself I needed to go to sleep asap because I need to wake up in 3 hours for work so I moved around a bit and went to sleep

anyways, I’ll try to get into the void again and keep y’all updated. next month I go back to my home country where is peace and quiet so I think I’ll have a better time without stressing about uni, work or the noisy area I live in

[huhustuff]

ArthurTV is such a pretty boy! I adore him, would it be possible to get general dating hcs for him?

‎

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐓𝐕 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

🌇🧸🍂

Could be read as 8thsidemen!reader or not.

‎

___________________________________________

‎

First briefly meeting Arthur through mutual friends

Actually hanging out for the first time whilst filming Chip’s Pub Golf video. Since Arthur had been taking too many Ls in his teammate's eyes, Chip gave you a task to highlight it. “If he wants to act like a clown then he can look like a clown” The little gremlin laughed and handed you a box of face paint markers. 

“Why me”

“Because your artistic and all that”

As Arthur sat there, hoping that you won’t make him look downright atrocious. You chuckled: “Your face is so pretty I don’t wanna ruin it”. Suddenly Arthur looked like a dear in headlights, cheeks bright red and voice struggling to escape his throat to form a proper sentence. And whilst others laughed at him he mumbled a very delayed “Thank you”.

‘11:28 have i missed a chapter?’

‘11:29 never thought i would wanna be ArthurTV this bad’

‘11:32’ why does Harry look so angry here lmao’

And along with the youtube comments , Twitter decided to have a field day as well.

After the filming itself ended the group continued to drink the night away. During the casual conversations the fact that you had never been to the British National Museum. “Oh Really?”, Arthur asked. “Yeah, I do not wanna go alone, but none of this lot will go with me”, you referred to the others around you. Upon hearing that Chip felt the need to try to play matchmaker. “Don’t worry, Arthur will be glad to take you” he slurred, voice a bit off from being peppered. 

“Um, I mean”

“I wouldn’t mind”

"Really?"

“Mhm, if you want to I’m free this Saturday”

That was an offer Arthur would have never in his life turned down. So after exchanging contacts that night the two of you met up in front of the museum on the Saturday of that week. 

Even though there was no certain label to the outing it felt exciting. Besides his name and some other surface information, you didn’t really know him and vice versa. (he might’ve lied a bit abt that, turns out that frequently watching your videos made him more familiar with you than he actually let on).

In between talking about the exhibitions the pair of you got the chance to chat about individual and mutual interests, life before youtube along with your shared profession, and the pros and cons that came along with it.

Despite you wishing for the opposite, Arthur and you got spotted by fans on that day. And it did not take long for pictures and clips of the two of you walking around the museum to be leaked online. 

And of course, Chip had to jump on it as well on the next Fellas podcast. “All I am saying is that I should get recognition for this one. Mate, I basically set the thing up for Arthur”

Him explaining chess to you and attempting to get you hooked on chess TikTok.

Contemplating getting a hamster together (rip Plato, you didn’t even get a funeral from Calfreezy 😣)

Hope you like nature documentaries cause you are gonna be getting just the commentary without the video material for bedtime stories.

After making it official you gave up trying to hide the relationship since it was already getting documented as well and often as Paul Breach.

Still liking to keep your private life to yourself there wouldn’t be an extra vid like the bf tag or something like that. One day Arthur would just appear on your vlog to the enjoyment of the viewers. 

So entertaining on the vlogs does your job for you.

‎

Hope u enjoyed these headcanons and that you have a good day or night 🌇!!

[uramilf]

hi! I love your writing sm. can I req this it's based on a tiktok I saw and thought it'd be cute. so basically y/n singing taylor's new song you're losing me esp the bridge! and matty is concerned like "we're okay right? you've been singing that song with much passion" or something like that! I just really thought it would be cute thank u so much

Ok I decided to turn this one into a proper imagine where the reader is a popular solo artist who misses her rockstar boyfriend and literally sat up until 3am working on it because i loved the idea so fucking much, thank you anon <3

Warnings: Angst and sadness but happy ending I promise

You're Losing Me

Y/n Y/l/n was sitting alone in her dressing room cross legged on a battered sofa. She had just received a message from her friend George to inform her that The 1975 had performed their last show of their tour and were flying back to London the very next morning. He also dropped in that Matty was excited to see her again and couldn't wait to get home. She hadn't bothered to respond. Why couldn't Matty have told her that himself? Her heart sank on remembering that although Matty was finishing his tour, she was just beginning hers. She would spend one night with him in their shared house before flying to the USA and wouldn't return for several weeks. Y/n felt empty, as she had since Matty left. She looked up to realise that she wasn't alone at all; in fact the dressing room was full of people refilling her water bottles, fixing the order of her costumes for quick changes, ensuring the setlist was right. But still, the crushing loneliness got to her. She doubted that it would be remedied in twenty minutes when the crowd of 15,000 people were screaming her name. She was right.

--------------------

Exactly 24 hours later, Y/n lay in her boyfriend's arms, thrilled to have him home but heart not feeling any lighter. She could feel them pulling apart from each other, the demanding schedules their careers presented them with tearing apart the best relationship either of them had ever been in. Even as Matty stroked her hair and pressed soft kisses to her forehead, she was fighting to keep a smile on her face. She wanted to burst into tears and tell him she needed him. She needed to be with him all the time, not just sometimes. She needed to fall into his arms the second she came offstage. She needed to feel as though their relationship wasn't a liability. When Y/n left Matty in bed to use the bathroom, he started to scroll Twitter and look for videos of his girl's first show of her tour. He came across one that already had thousands upon thousands of views. It was captioned "Y/n Y/l/n cover Taylor Swift's "You're Losing Me" at her London show last night". He clicked and started watching. His girlfriend sounded angelic as usual, but he didn't feel like he was watching a video of her usual happy, performance-loving self. The girl on his screen was breaking from the inside out. The passion she was singing with was gave her the image of someone who undeniably related to what she was singing. She wasn't just covering a popular song. He could tell she meant it. He listened closely to the lyrics; "And I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser", "Do something babe, say something." Matty's heart was in his throat as he realised that there was a reason she had chosen the song. Did she think he didn't love her anymore? Had she been hoping for the next step in their relationship? Was he really losing her?

Y/n re-entered the room to see Matty, phone in hand, with a tear slipping down his cheek. "What's wrong, baby? Aren't you happy to be home?" "Are we ok, Y/n?" Matty whispered. "What? Of course we are. What's brought this on, love?" "The song. Last night. I know you didn't write it but you just sang it with so much passion, I couldn't help but feel like there's something you're not telling me." Y/n looked at his phone and was overcome with guilt. He understood that she had been singing to him. She took Matty's face in her hands and swiped away a tear gently with her thumb. "I'm sorry, Matty. But I just felt like I related to the song so much. I couldn't help but feel like we drifted apart while you were on tour. We were barely speaking by the last few weeks of it. I just needed you here, and honestly I did feel like you were losing me." Matty's sobs didn't stop. "Are you saying you want to break up with me because I'm away too much?" "No! Of course not baby, I couldn't imagine breaking up with you for the world. You are all I want in life. I promise. But I just don't know how to do this long distance thing anymore. I need us to be together." "Y/n, darling, I know. I'm dreading tomorrow. In all honestly, I understand why you sang the song. I was drifting away from you. I just couldn't bear to talk to you over the phone. I couldn't even answer a text from you without crying about how much I missed you."

Y/n was crying now too, feeling terrible that she hadn't seen how miserable Matty had been on tour. She stroked his hair as he buried his head in her chest. "It's ok baby, we're gonna be ok." Matty lifted his head to kiss away her tears. "Listen, darling. I'm going to speak to the boys and let them know that I'm not gonna be in the studio for a while. Give me a few days to recover from tour and then I'm gonna fly out and meet you. We'll only be away from each other for another week tops." Y/n tackled him into a hug. "You're really coming on tour with me?" "Yes, darling, really. I'm sorry I even considered going back to the studio instead of coming with you. I've just felt so pressured into releasing new music recently. But everyone else can just wait for me and my girl."

Y/n and Matty lay in each other's embrace once more, and as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard him whisper, "I promise I'll never let you feel like you're losing me again."

-----------------

A/N: Soz guys that got way deeper than I wanted it to. Got carried away ig but oh well

[angelpuns]

Since u want it Ranting anon will do their thing (Btw I use any pronouns so dw about gendered terms :D) and rant! So I'm gonna talk about executive dysfunction because that an be useful to know for pretty much anyone! So executive dysfunction is the way your brain works, specifically the executive functions lol, don't work the way they should. The three main things that are kinda "messed up" in a sense are your cognitive flexibility (ability to go from one task to the next,) your inhibition control (ability to control what you do, say and thing,) and your working memory (your ability to remember things regarding a task your doing for the duration of the time your doing that task, like short-term memory)

So the cognitive flexibility thing is the most noticed one because it makes it hard to do things like taking care of yourself or actually completing a task. The best way I've seen it described was by this one person on tiktok who compared it to trying to touch a stove or climb down from a tree, even if logically you know its safe something in you just won't let you do it. It's like that but for simple things, it tends to stunt your ability to gain habits because something that you could do easily one day all of sudden you can't bring yourself to do today while you have a voice in the back of your head telling you that it's easy and that your pathetic for not doing it. The reality is that it isn't easy, you could have everything set up for you, all you had to do was push a button but because you were already stuck on one task you can't switch over to hitting that button. It's not you deciding to not do something, it's your brain not letting you actually do that thing.

That also ties into the inhibition control, your brain might let you do one thing super easy, or actually make you do that thing but it wont let you do something else, it's not something you can control in the slightest because it's literally just how your brain works. You aren't being lazy, it's honest to god hard for you to actually start doing that thing. Once you actually start its the easiest thing ever, it's just actually switching to starting that task that feels impossible (again, cognitive flexibility).

The working memory thing is actually working on a task, maybe you were going to write an essay but you got distracted reading and spend 12 hours on that and then had to rush your essay but you also forgot to turn it in because you were thinking about what you were reading. Another thing connected to that is actually starting a task, it can be hard to start it when you can't imagine the end product, that's because if you don't have something in your memory that you can follow, something you've done before so you have something to re-stash into that working memory category you can't really figure out how to do and we repeat back to cognitive flexibility (at least that's what I've noticed with myself, if I don't have knowledge on how to do something, a format to follow, I can't do it.) There are a lot of examples for all of these and these are sort of just what I've figured out myself, I may not have explained it the best so I suggest doing your own research if this is a topic that interests you!

I got all my information, for the most part, from the Cleveland Clinic website, I will share more when I figure out how to put what I mean into words, hope this helps with any struggles if you were confused about something and found this related to you <3 There is a lot more to executive dysfunction but this is already very long and I will get into that another time! >:3 (Btw, again, this might not be 100% accurate so again if you really want to, do your own research but I will share what I find once I have more info!)

OOOOOOH INTERESTING!!!!!!

I am downloading all of this into my brain thank you! The working memory thing is so relatable, I literally have done the Sims 4 thing where I walk into a room ( while thinking of something else) and then forget what I was doing and then i go back and remember and then I forget again and it's like the longest memory loop ever.

[mcgarryjespersen00]

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[hymn-of-muse]

Hello! Hello! Good day! If match-up requests are still open, hope u don't mind me requesting one?

Fandoms: Genshin

Appearance: I'm like 5'0. I have a black, long, wavy hair that lengths past my shoulders. I'm usually seen putting hair clamps. I'm tan and has a brown eyes.

Personality: I'm some sort of Xiao. Quite of a distant individual and not used with people's trends like doing tiktoks or wearing lipsticks. But I sometimes try some. Then that leads me to doing cosplays. Aside from that, I am concious around me especially talking to others. I really don't know how to get along with others much so I tend to share less and gets serious with people who wants me to do something. With my friends, i'm different and shares most part of myself and tends to get stick with them when I saw them. But despite of that, i'm a bit closed off and would distance myself sometimes. Overthinking a lot that I might did something bad to others even it's not or an accident. I do something physical with im with someone who's very comfortable with like hugging or clinging my arm around them then retreating because i'm not used to them. I avoid most of it when someone tries to cling on me or some sort but let someone hug me sometimes. I am sort of blunt with my actions and words. And I tend to get stutter.

Additional Information: Sleeping is my personality and I tend to sleep here and there. ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌

Likes & Dislikes: As I mentioned, I really love to cosplay but i'm broke. Then because of my hyper fixation of the hobby, I love money. ✋ Then I like to wear light make ups. I like to sketch, sing and showing off sometimes in front of others (shying away as a result). I don't like someone who doesn't know what their doing like invading someone's personal space or making fun of me, thinking we're friends.

Preferences: I'm a she/her and I would like to be paired by a male.

Another Additional Information: I would also prefer someone who can keep up with my tired and distant personality. 🥹🥹

Thank You for reading!

diluc comes to mind to pair you with. from what i skimmed from your submission, youre around the same energy level socially that he is.

he'd be more than okay with the quiet distant aura you have and enjoys whatever time he gets to spend with you. hes not too big on pda himself he'd rather keep affections in private and not draw attention to his relationships.

he'd memorise your favourite drinks just how you like them and be ready to make them whenever you come by while he's working in the tavern.

if you need to chat he'd be a great listener and always have some good reasurance to give you, help you through your overthinking and what not. heck if you asked he'd probably reserve the top floor just for you so you had a quiet place to sit.

yes he would secretly fund your hobby by leaving you gifts like things you looked at but couldnt buy yourself or things he thinks you might like or might go nice with a cosplay youre planning.

fischl would probably be your cosplay pal so he might try getting tips and ideas from her and oz (theyre pals cuz they both have pet birds)

matchups currently closed!

[cockroachmotherfucker10]

PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?

What is Pridefall?

Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.

Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.

Is Pridefall real?

Yes and no.

I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.

However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.

I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).

What do you think, Lia?

This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.

Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.

The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.

A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.

My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.

There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.

However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.

A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.

Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.

There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.

That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.

I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.

There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.

This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.

Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.

How can I stay safe?

If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.

If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.

It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.

Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.

Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.

DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.

Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.

Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.

Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.

Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.

Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.

Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.

Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.

Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!

Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:

-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.

-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.

-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.

-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.

-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.

-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.

🌈 Stay safe, everyone.

You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

-Mod Lia

[letoscrawls]

Hiiiii

I hope you're doing well!

I would like to ask if u have and advise about starting and art account on insta. I have a small one here on tumblr but people say insta is better for art accs. So I just create an account and start posting? Or do I promote myself in some way, maybe taking dtiys and other challenges?

Thanks in advance:D

Hi! thank you so much for checking on me! :) 

okay, i get this question quite often and i wish i could give you solid advice, but the problem with instagram right now is its algorithm. when i started my account it wasn’t that fucked up, so i don’t really know how it is for new artists who have just started their accounts now! but i can tell you that it really affected every artist, even the bigger ones, so please keep that in mind. if you “fail” to reach your audience it’s not your fault, instagram is literally sabotaging artists and i don’t know for how long it’ll be “the best platform for art”. so just to warn all of you, i don’t want you to compromise your mental health for a social platform that makes money out of our stress and insecurities, i’ll try to share what i think could work because sharing art can be really rewarding and shouldn’t be an ordeal so i’d be happy to help somehow!!!!!

so this is the “algorithm tricks” part: 

when i first opened ig, i remember my stories were viewed by at least 100 people for the first two days even though i had less than 10 followers, so i think that’s instagram way to encourage you to keep posting, so my first advice would be to post your art in the stories too, at least for the first week or something?? now, i know the algorithm is currently promoting reels, so if you’re skilled with those go for it! make videos of your creating process and stuff like that. it’s important to inform your followers when you make a new post bc the chances of it being noticed are higher, you have to do the work bc ig won’t show that post to most of your audience (did i mention that i hate whoever made this algorithm?? yes??) i’m not really sure about this but i think ig prefers the reels you make with their set of editing tools instead of just uploading a pre saved video (i think it’s their way to sabotage those who post their tiktoks), i’ve never tried them so i don’t really know what they’re like, but i’m pretty sure tiktok is way better. i read somewhere that IGTV aren’t ig big thing anymore, so i don’t think you’d get much engagement from them. in general i’d say to always promote your posts in your stories and to wait at least an hour before editing a post bc i think you’ll lose engagement if you edit it right after posting (i know, it’s so stupid).

the use of hashtags is the only thing that i approve, because it’s an helpful tool made by social media before it got so bad and they really help you to reach more people (that’s like their purpose, i just wish there weren’t dozens of other stupid rules to follow in order to be noticed besides hashtags). so using tags like “art”, “artists on instagram” and “daily art” along with tags related to the pic you posted (like the name of the character or the fandom etc) is really helpful, just don’t use unrelated tags bc it’s annoying and idk how convenient it is :P the last thing is promoting your posts by using the sponsored feature; i never used that because i’d rather eat a slug than give money to instagram, but if you have the possibility and you are okay with that then you could try!

now for the “artsy” part

artists have found many ways to bypass the algorithm and keep the community alive over the years, challenges are probably the best way to do so! dtiys are awesome, not only they help you get more recognition, but they also make artists incredibly happy! i should host one very soon myself, i’m looking for a pose and an outfit to draw one of my ocs in, hopefully you’ll see it soon! i cannot explain how happy it makes me to see people draw a character of mine, and it’s great to see them in so many different styles, so i highly recommend dtiys! usually the artists who host them post the entries in their stories too, so yeah, you should definitely try those! there are other challenges like art vs artist, memes etc, it’s incredible how creative the community is despite all! and lastly, draw fan art! contributing to a fandom with your art is so cool, personally i prefer it over original content most of the time, i feel the need to share my point of view and to let out all the idiotic thoughts i have when i consume some kind of media so i’m really biased, but every artist is different, so don’t force yourself to do something if you don’t feel like doing it! drawing something you don’t particularly enjoy because you want to get recognition is gonna make you burnout REALLY BAD, trust me, i personally think that passion>effort, so never forget to put your enjoyment first!!!! 

okay this took me a while and i hope it was helpful! good luck!!! i definitely forgot something dskfjhis

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

Fair warning for my content (CHECK FOR UPDATES weekly!!)

I have no impulse control and my ideas can range from domestic happy family life to smutty sinful nsfw...

This is my PSA to be wary if you see my user and a "Keep reading" (thanks anon for telling me about this kjsdnfkjsd I def didn't know you had to manually do this) If anyone is uncomfortable with certain topics I will be going through certain posts to add tags {PLEASE read my tags before indulging in any of my content ;u; check narwhalspeaks for any updates or non fandom anon replies)

Other social media:

I have a tiktok that you guys might enjoy!

Now an about for this page and how to support me:

You can support me on Ko-fi

https://ko-fi.com/shinebrightlikeanarwhal

And patreon (this one is still in the works until I am more confident in my writing)

I will be taking commissions on full fledged writing. I do actively like to write and for a small price I’m happy to write for you (there will be a do and don’t list in the Commissions post). Look for the #Commission for more information!

This page is a prompts and sketches page. I post my opinions and if you don’t like them I implore you to not interact. That way it would lessen your chance of seeing my content.

My current fixations are Marvel, DC, Yandere stories, AI chats… I’m having a very ADULT time rn…

Taking a writers block break from Sally Face and XianXia novels. Out of inspo, need time to recoup

If you are interested in discussing my dms and asks are always open! I love to talk lore and discuss opinions. Particularly if you are respectful. I don’t like disrespect so I will talk to you how you talk to me.

Minors can interact with content not tagged as: ‘NSFW’ or ‘Nasty Nasty Cretin’ those are usually also hidden under a keep reading. DO NOT interact with those. Please also do not follow me for your safety to keep you away from any reblogs I do. I’m an adult and will look at adult content.

Other than that I’m 100% happy to share my ideas and opinions with you all! Please enjoy my content if you find anything interesting!

[sailorhyunjinz]

I also wanted somewhere to go about the whole chan thing rn so I hope u don't mind luv,

apparently he's currently underfire for "making a joke out of Jim crow" which if anyone reading this doesn't know is an extremely racist era in American history where laws were made specifically against black people, as well as they were portrayed as a very offensive character (that's Jim crow, the character, his name is also used to represent the discriminatory laws)

the only proof I've seen being shared around is him dancing to "this is america" by childish Gambino in which he makes this pose

but with a thumbs up instead of a gun, the pose itself is in reference to a popular portraying of the Jim crow character

https://youtu.be/VNtA_0BR6Pw you can see the clip people are referencing here at 6:35

now i tried to keep the background info section of this unbiased,, but in my opinion he did it literally as the pose that's in the music video, not with Ill intent; which in my head doesn't make it racist. however people online are treating it as if he deliberately was laughing at or making fun of Jim crow laws or the character in some way. personally as a poc I see nothing wrong with it, but I also just feel like people love bringing up things from years ago to start drama during comeback season? don't get me wrong, holding people accountable is great, but 1) this was in 2018, 2) from what I've seen they've issued a general apology for this type of thing on insta**, and 3) idols are still infact people, and people that live literally on the other side of the world at that. I Don't wanna play the "they didn't know" card but it's always a possibility that they genuinely didn't know or understand that it was bad. I don't see chan doing anything disrespectful in that manner anytime recently, assuming he's understood now that it's not something he should be doing and adjusting his behavior. if it was a current issue that he's still making these mistakes I'd be in full support of the mass emails and mass bubble messages and everything else, I do support calling out idols when they're in the wrong, but I feel like sometimes people take it way farther than it needs to, almost as if they're looking for a reason to cancel people.

I really don't understand why it's being made into as big of a deal as it is, and I wish people would stop and think "would this really be helpful right now or am I doing this because someone on Twitter told me to" before inflating severity like this.

** I can't put a ss of the apology rn cause ya bitch got anger issues and deleted Twitter insta and tiktok bc its 4am and this situation is very literally the only thing I see on all of my feeds.

thank you for such an informative ask. im obviously not gonna sit here and defend chan because he did do something wrong and it did offend people. when we dont know about certain things and we see them in media its not odd that we copy behaviours or things we've seen and that doesnt mean i justify such behaviour but its a different reality when you have been raised in a korean culture where poc rights have only been discussed the last 10 years which is a shame but sadly true.

im just happy to know that he wants to be held accountable for his behaviour if he accidentally does/says something that can cause any misconceptions. that in my mind doesnt sound like a person that would deliberately do something in order to offend someone but rather a person that is willing to learn from their mistakes and learn more about other cultures and life experiences.

[lilliagradiewrites]

not like that // jj maybank (one shot)

A/N: New one shot friends!! I have been working on this for over a week and I’m so happy with how it’s turned out. It’s the longest piece I’ve ever written. I’m really proud of this, so I hope you guys like that. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated!! Also, every reblog helps. Love you guys!!

Summary: JJ Maybank has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. And, unfortunately for you, you’ve been in love with him for as long as you remember. You’ve done great at hiding your feelings, but what happens when on a drunken night, everything is revealed?

Word Count: 9.5k

Warnings: nothing worse than what's in the show!!

Contents: ANGST, lots of angst, and a bit of fluff at times :)

Let’s do it!!

--------

Another night, another heartbreak.

You knew it would happen; it always does. It’s practically expected at this point.

But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

It was a friday night, and all the pogues were at the boneyard. This wasn’t unusual; it was actually quite common. You had volunteered to be the designated driver. It was meant to be JJ’s turn, but you knew he’d had issues with his dad earlier in the day and needed to get fucked up. So, you told the group that you ‘didn’t feel like drinking’ and told JJ to have his fun.

The rest of the group suspected nothing, but JJ knew your purpose for volunteering. When the group had begun loading into the van, he’d grabbed your arm and pulled you aside.

“You don’t have to do that, you know. I’m fine. I won’t drink.”

“It’s okay, J. You’ve had a rough day. You need some fun tonight. I’m happy to stay sober if it means you’ll have fun and take your mind off things.”

JJ smiled slightly. “Thank you. But I don’t wanna ruin your fun. You’ve been looking forward to this all week, Y/N.”

You touched his arm lightly as a way to reassure him. “I promise you it’s okay, JJ. I’m fine with it. You need this more than I do. If it was an issue for me, I wouldn’t have volunteered.”

JJ hesitated for another moment, but eventually agreed. He thanked you again and walked with you to get in the van.

Now, you sat alone on the crowded beach, the one beer you’d been nursing all night in your hands. You’d been with your friends all night, but once they’d gotten a decent amount of alcohol in their systems, they abandoned you. Kie dragged Pope off to dance; John B left muttering something about Sarah Cameron. JJ, who felt bad for you staying sober even in his drunk state, has stayed with you a little longer. When the two of you were alone, he’d been extremely touchy. One hand on your thigh as he talked to you, shoving you playfully when you cracked a joke at him. The contact was little, but it made your stomach flutter.

JJ was your best friend, no doubt. You’d known each other since you moved to the cut in sixth grade. He had invited you to sit with him and John B at lunch, and the three of you became fast friends. You loved John B and cared about him very much, but you had a special connection with JJ. You felt a sense of comfort around him that you felt with no one else. He understood your humour, appreciated your music taste, and was the greatest listener. You went to him with all of your problems, and JJ did the same. The two of you had such a close bond, you don’t what you’d do without him.

That is exactly why you’d pushed away your feelings when they first began creeping up on you. You pushed down the butterflies, willed your cheeks to stop turning red when he looked at you. Did everything you could to stop the infatuation from growing larger. All your efforts were for nothing, though, when you realized your love from the blonde was only growing stronger the more you pushed it away. After that, you finally came to terms with your crush, but decided to keep it to yourself. If you told him, it could make things awkward, and you’d lose him altogether. You’d rather suffer in silence than lose the person you cared about most on this planet.

This crush is what caused your cheeks to ignite in redness every time you felt JJ’s hand brush against your skin. You became more and more flustered as he subtly flirted with you in every way, praying that you it was too dark for him to notice the deep red shade your face had become. He said something extremely flirty, and began leaning into you.

Your brain exploded with a million thoughts and emotions.

He’s gonna kiss me!

Holy shit what do I do?

Does he actually like me back?

What if it’s just because he’s drunk?

What happens if he doesn’t remember this in the morning?

Despite the storm that was raging in your head, you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning in towards him. Your lips were inches apart, and your dreams were moments from coming true.

Until JJ, in his drunken state, spilled his drink all down the side of his leg. He pulled back, cursing. The boy informed you he was going to refill his drink and find something to wipe his leg off with, and he was gone.

You sat there and watched him walk away, taking your hopes of something ever happening between the two of you with him.

You’d waited for him to come back for about half an hour before going to look for him. He’d told you he’d come back once he was done, and JJ always kept his promises to you. So, when he didn’t return quickly, you were worried.

As soon as you saw him, however, you were regretting getting up off your seat. About twenty feet from the keg was JJ, talking to some pretty redhead about something you couldn’t hear. The girl, who was clearly just as wasted as your friend, was hanging on his arm, listening intently to every word he said. Her face showed interest in the conversation, but her blue eyes were filled with lust. You could tell that all she wanted was to get JJ alone.

And, judging by the way he was moving her hair from face, JJ had the same thoughts as the girl.

Not being able to watch anymore, you’d turned and walked quickly away. You found a tree, a decent way away from the party, and sat on the sand, leaning your back against the wood. It wasn’t until you were in this position that you let the tears fall from your eyes.

How could you have been so stupid? How could JJ ever want you like that? You were his best friend, practically his sister. He was only flirting because he was drunk.

Truly not in the mood to drink anymore, you throw your red solo cup across the sand. You know that Kie would kill you if she found out you’d left plastic on the beach, but you couldn’t care less. As the cup landed on it’s side, the beer spilled out onto the sand. You thought the cup looked almost as empty as you felt. You reached for your phone, thinking you could scroll through tiktok as a way to keep your mind off things and pass time, but stopped yourself. Your wallpaper was a photo of you and JJ, and you couldn’t bear to look at his face right now.

So, you opted to just observe the party instead. You could still see your friends, but they were all in different positions now. Kiara and Pope had met a touron couple and were having a conversation with them. John B and Sarah now sat in the exact seats you and JJ had previously occupied. JJ and the redhead were dancing. Her hands were on his shoulders; his on her waist. They moved to the beat of the music, getting slowly closer and closer to each other. When the song ended, JJ pulled the girl in and leaned down so his mouth was at her ear. The boy whispered something, and you watched as the girl bit her lip and nodded.

You didn’t hear what he said, but you didn’t need to. The girl grabbed JJ by his arm and led him away until they were out of sight. A few moments later, you hear a ding from your back pocket.

You reluctantly pull your phone out, and sigh when you read the message notification from JJ.

BSF!: dont worry about me, going home with a friend. Be at the chateau in the morning. See u.

A teardrop fell on your phone screen as you read the message. You hadn’t even realized that you’d been crying. Deciding that you couldn’t bear to stay any longer, you stood, took a deep breath, and walked to where Kie and Pope stood.

You talked as soon as you got to them, not caring if you interrupted their conversation.

“Hey, guys, can we go? I don’t want to cut anyone’s night short but I’m not feeling very well.”

Kie was very understanding. The girl was so caring, even when wasted. “Yeah, of course. Come on, Pope.” The two said goodbye to their newfound friends, then followed you away. When you told John B you were leaving, Sarah offered to drive him home later so he wouldn’t have to leave. He asked if that was okay with you, and of course you agreed. Just because your night was shitty doesn’t mean everyone else’s has to be.

You turned to Pope and Kie, realizing it wasn’t fair to ask them to leave if they were having fun. “I can come back later and pick you guys up if you want to stay. I don’t mind.”

Kie was quick to protest, until their two new friends came up and offered to take them home later. The girl hadn’t been drinking. Kie asked if you were okay to be alone, still worried.

Once you’d assured her that you were, she gave you a hug, telling you to drive safe and text her when you got back to the chateau. You agreed, said goodbye to Pope and the nice couple, and were on your way.

You drove home in complete silence. Normally, you’d be blasting music, but you knew you couldn’t bring yourself to sing along. When you arrived back at the chateau, you shot a quick text to kie before going to the guest bedroom and collapsing on the bed. The tears came almost immediately.

The rest of your night consisted of your favorite sad playlist and a lot of crying. You usually shared the guest bed with JJ, as he was your best friend, and his pillow still smelled like him. You lay there, facing his side of the bed, breathing his scent in deeply and pretending he was there with you.

Eventually, sleep found you and carried you away to a rest filled with dreams about the boy you loved.

When you woke up the next morning, the sun was shining brightly through the curtainless window in the small guest bedroom where you slept. Instinctively, you turned to your right, where a certain blonde usually lays each morning. When you looked, you found nothing but cold, empty sheets, and it all came flooding back to you. You groaned, throwing the bedding off of yourself and standing. If you stayed in the bed any longer thinking about last night, you knew you’d cry again. You hated crying in the morning; it made your face all red and you’d have a headache for the rest of the day.

With a sigh, you lifted your phone from the small bedside table where you’d left it the night before. The time on the screen read 8:37 AM. Knowing that none of your friends would be up at this hour, you walked out of the room and towards the bathroom. All you needed was a shower, you decided, and then you’d feel better.

When the shower was turned on, you stood in front of the dirty bathroom mirror as you waited for the water to warm up. Your appearance was horrible; last night’s makeup was smeared across your face, streaks of black mascara running down your face from your tears. Your hair was tangled from the night's fitful sleep. Insecurity flooded into you at the sight.

I bet JJ’s redhead girl wakes up all pretty in the morning. He’ll see her when he wakes up and he’ll smile because she’s so beautiful.

You tried your best to push these thoughts from your mind, tearing your eyes from your own reflection and getting into the warm water.

In the shower, you tried your best to not think about your best friend,  but when you went to grab your shampoo, you spotted the body wash JJ uses. The one that he always smells like when the two of you settle into bed at night. Tears began blurring your vision at the sight, but you blinked them back and finished your shower as quickly as possible.

A few hours later, everyone had woken up. Kie was first, then Pope, and finally John B. You gave everyone advil for their hangovers and made breakfast. They talked about the night as they ate, and you listened to their stories, trying your best not to think about how horrible you’d felt when they were all having fun. After breakfast, they all showered and dressed. It was nearly noon at this point, and there was still no sign of JJ.

You and the pogues sat on the back porch enjoying the beautiful early summer weather. A conversation was going, but you couldn’t keep your mind on it. It kept wandering to the blonde boy you loved so much, and how worried you were for him. He was usually back from his hookups by this hour.

As if your thoughts had summoned it, you heard tires on the gravel driveway out front, and the slam of a door. JJ walked into the chateau, spotted his friends on the back porch, and walked out to meet them, sitting beside you on the couch.

“Hey, J. How was your night?” John B said with a chuckle.

JJ, though looking tired, had a wide smile on his face. “Great, man. Truly awesome.”

“You’re back later than normal. I was worried about you.” You say quietly. How happy he looked made you uneasy, and there was something about him that was different. He was never this smiley after his usual hookups; he mostly just looked exhausted.

But now, sitting beside you on the beat up outdoor couch, the boy was grinning from ear to ear.

His smile faltered when he heard the concern in your voice. “Oh, sorry.” He says. “I, uh… took her to breakfast.”

Shock radiated from the other pogues.

“You took her to breakfast? You never do that. You usually just leave.” Pope says in disbelief.

JJ chuckled slightly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Yeah, I know. This girl is, uh… I don't know… different. She’s really cool, and sweet, and funny. Not to mention she’s bad as fuck. I like her a lot. I kinda wanna get to know her better.”

Kie beamed. Pope and John B raised their eyebrows. Your stomach dropped to your feet.

“Jj, that’s so great! I’m glad you met her” Kie says with a smile. You force one and nod along, not wanting anybody to know how much his words hurt you. You blinked back the tears that began stinging your eyes, hoping no one noticed how they glossed over.

“Yeah.” JJ beamed. “I am, too.”

In an attempt to keep yourself from crying, you quickly change the subject. “That’s great, J. Now, since we’re all here, are we going out on the marsh? It’s so pretty today, I’d hate to waste the nice weather.”

The pogues all nodded in agreement. Thoughts of JJ’s potential new girl were forgotten as excitement for the day ahead of them grew.

“Yeah, sounds good.” John B says. “I’ve been meaning to go fishing anyway. Everyone else down?”

“Of course! I’ve got work at six-thirty though. Can we be back by then?”

“Yeah, of course we can. We can come back around five, so Kie has time to shower and get ready. If we leave at noon, then that’s what, five hours out there? It’ll work out perfectly.” You say, and the rest of the group nods. “Okay, everyone get their stuff and put on your swimsuits. Be ready by twelve.” At this, everyone begins moving to their respective areas to begin getting ready. You and JJ, as usual, head to the guest room, where all your belongings are.

Once you arrive, you both grab your swimsuits and turn around, a routine for you. When you first began sharing the room, you both decided taking turns in the room and the bathroom was too much work, and you both would just not look when the other was changing clothes. You were grateful for this at the current moment, as tears began welling up in your eyes the moment you turned around.

“So, you really like this girl, huh?” You can’t help yourself from asking.  You know what the answer will be, and you know it will hurt you. But, you ask anyways, a sliver of hope in your mind telling you he’ll say no.

“Yeah, honestly. She’s so cool. She laughed at my jokes, and she hung onto every word I said when we talked. She’s a great listener. She’s so amazing, Y/N. I know I’ve only known her for a day, but I feel like I’ve known her forever. I’m probably gonna text her later and see if she wants to go out tonight or tomorrow.”

Your heart dropped even further down at his words, but you tried your best to hide it. “Oh, really? That’s great. I thought you weren’t the relationship kind of guy?”

“I’m not. It’s just… she’s different. I saw her half an hour ago and I already miss being around her. There’s something about her that’s just so nice… what does Kie call it?... right, her energy. Her energy is just so good. Like I want to be around her all the time. I know I’ve barely met her, but I’m just so comfortable around her. I don’t know… she just feels right.”

“That’s,uh… that’s wonderful JJ. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, Y/N. I’m happy, too.”

You felt like you were going to puke. You took deep breaths while you buttoned up your denim shorts in order to keep you breakfast down. After throwing a cropped tank over your bikini top, you asked JJ if he was decent before turning around. After hearing his ‘yes’, you looked around to him and mustered up the best smile you had. “Uhh, J?”

“Yes?”

“What’s her name? The girl?”

“It’s Faith.”

“Faith who?”

“Faith Barker. You probably don’t know her, she just moved here.”

“Oh, cool.”

And with that, he left. You followed JJ out to the backyard, where the rest of your friends were already getting onto the boat.

You put on your brave face, and prepared yourself to face a day with JJ.

“Are you kidding, Pope? There’s absolutely no way you’re serious.”

“If you truly think about it, you could-”

“No. Stop talking. You are way too smart to believe this shit.”

You and Pope were currently discussing an outrageous conspiracy theory, a heated conversation that no one else seemed to understand. You, like Pope, were quite smart; conversations like this one often blossomed when you and Pope began talking. The rest of the pogues usually watched in amusement, making quiet bets on who would swing first.

“Wait, Y/N, listen! The government hides shit from us all the time. This could be one of those things, easily. We don’t know ninety-eight percent of what goes on behind the scenes.”

“So what you’re telling me right now is that you wholeheartedly believe that Donald Trump used government laser weapons stationed in space to start the California wildfires?”

“No, Y/N, I’m telling you that I wholeheartedly believe that the government is capable of anything, and that nothing is off limits when it comes to the higher-ups in said government.”

“Well, then, you should’ve just said that. The other one made you sound fucking crazy.”

The pogues laughed at your final proclamation, and JJ used the pause in the argument to speak.

“Now that Y/N and Pope are finished with their geek party, is everyone ready to swim?” The group all agreed, (you and Pope glaring daggers at him for the ‘geek party’ comment) and began stripping down to their swimsuits.

You stood quickly, pulling your tank top off your body, happy to be relieved of the fabric. As the North Carolina sun grew hotter, you grew sweatier, the thin material sticking vexatiously to your skin. Once your top was off and in a pile on the boat’s floor, your shorts quickly joined it. You straightened yourself up, looking around at your friends. John B was finishing up anchoring the small vessel. Kie and Pope were standing at the edge of the boat, and on a count of three, they leaped into the water together. Your best friend was staring at you.

You did a double take when you noticed JJ’s eyes examining your body. His blue irises traveled shamelessly up and down your figure, taking in every inch of your body in the swimsuit you’d chosen. Feeling that you needed some confidence, you’d chosen a suit that made you feel amazing: a sexy triangle style bikini. The white fabric was vibrant against your already tanned skin, the style flattering your shape in all the right places.

JJ, obviously, appreciated the swimsuit just as much as you did. You could practically feel his eyes boring into your skin as he continued to stare at you.

Feeling confident, you snapped your fingers at him, causing his eyes to meet yours.

“Eyes are up here, Maybank.” You teased with a wink, before stepping to the edge of the boat and executing a clean dive into the water.

The cool water enveloped you, a wonderful contrast to your hot skin. Below the surface, you were calm, and you allowed yourself to relax momentarily as you swam.

JJ, on the other hand, was far from relaxed. Watching you undress, your teasing words, that wink, and your dive left him unbelievably flustered. “Holy shit.” He mumbled, unable to form any more words.

“What the fuck was that, man?” John B, who had seen the whole encounter, questioned with a smirk.

JJ ran his hand through his messy hair, and blew out a breath. “I don’t man, but I liked it. A lot.”

John B smirked. “Yeah, me too.”

JJ shot the boy a glare, and he raised his hands in surrender with a light chuckle.

“Sorry, J, didn’t realize she was yours.”

JJ furrowed his brows. “She- she’s not mine, I- uh…”

John B chuckled again, coming forward and clapping a hand down on his friends shoulder. “Are you sure about that man?”

JJ watched, mouth agape, as John B gave him a smile before setting down his beer and jumping into the water.

Not knowing what to say, JJ took a moment to process what his friend had implied. You and him weren’t… a thing. You were just friends, best friends, and nothing more. Sure, he had thought about you a few times, maybe had a dream or two about you…

But even if he did feel that way towards you, of course you wouldn’t feel the same way. You viewed him as a brother, he thought, not a boyfriend. The two of you dating was probably a thought that was so outrageous, it never even crossed your mind.

As JJ watched you in the water, swimming and laughing, his mind continued to wander. Would it be so bad if the two of you dated? You did everything together anyways; you even slept in the same bed. Truthfully, a relationship would only add affection, and things he only allowed himself to think about late at night when he was sure you were asleep. You fought like a married couple, you buy things for each other that make you think of the other person. When you get your period, he comes over to your house with chocolates and ice cream and you watch movies together all day. If you think about it, you were basically together. And, he’d noticed you being extra flirty lately, and there was a strange look in your eye when he began talking about Faith…

No. JJ scolded himself, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. He did not need to be thinking about this. The two of you were just friends, and that’s how it should stay. The rule still stands, right? No pogue on pogue macking. And besides, he had Faith; a wonderful girl he actually really liked.

Even if the two of you dating was a good idea (which it wasn’t), you would never want to. You loved and cared about him, of course… just not like that.

JJ decided to shove the idea of a relationship with you out of his mind the best he could and enjoy his day. He ran to the edge of the boat, jumping with his legs pressed tightly to his chest, shouting “Cannonball!”

As JJ’s body hit the water, a large wave exploded around him, splashing the pogues.

Kiara squealed. “JJ, you dick! You got water in my eye!” You laughed at the whole encounter, swimming over to Kiara.

“Come on, there’s a sandbar over there. We can fix your eye.” You offer with a giggle, pointing to your left where you knew the sandbar was. Kie nodded, her hand still rubbing at her left eye.

“If I go blind, JJ, you’re paying for my optometrist bills.” Kie says, feigning anger as the two of you swim to the sandbar.

“Sorry, Kie, no can do. I’m broke, and I have no idea what that word means.”

You chuckle lightly, helping to pull Kie to a standing position with you. “It’s an eye doctor, dumbass.” You tell JJ, moving Kiara’s hand from her eye. “Try to open it, Kie.” You say softly, leaning in to examine it.

Kiara makes an attempt, but the salt stings her eye as soon as oxygen hits it. “Shit!” She exclaims, hands going back to her eye in instinct. “I’m trying, Y/N, but it burns like a bitch.”

JJ, who was holding onto the side of the HMS Pogue while treading water, observed you and your friend on the sandbar. You were always so caring, he noticed, whether it was a friend getting saltwater in their eye or a deep cut on their leg from a sharp rock. JJ could recall countless times where, after a particularly nasty bout with his father, you’d sat him on your shared bed in the chateau, gently cleaning his wounds and assuring him that everything would be alright. He loved you for this; he’d never met anyone so loving and helpful.

“Okay, Kie, we’re probably just gonna have to rinse the saltwater out. I brought some water bottles, I’ll go get one for you.”

You moved off the sandbar and back into the deep water, headed for the boat. You, being the mom of the group, always remembered the little things. Kie always remembered a case of beer; JJ went nowhere without a freshly rolled blunt on him. You, however, were always the one to pack the important things: snacks, sunscreen, and water bottles.

As you approached the boat, JJ smiled at you.

“Look at you, playing nurse again.” He teases, splashing you lightly.

“I wouldn’t have to if you gave a little more a warning before splashing everybody, dickhead.” You joke back. JJ laughed, but didn’t move from his spot. He was blocking the boat’s stairs, and you couldn’t get on if he didn’t move over.

“Move, JJ, I’ve got to get water for Kie.” You said, motioning to the side. Just to mess with you, JJ stayed in place, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

“Why should I?” He smirks, knowing just how to get a rise out of you.

“Because I’m trying to help Kie because of something you did.”

“Not good enough.” He knows he’s pissing you off now.

“JJ, move.” You demand. He’s the reason Kie’s eye is all messed up in the first place; he has no right to stop you from helping her.

“Only if you decide to ask nicely.” He says with another smug smirk.

You roll your eyes. You were fed up with his games, and your legs were beginning to grow tired from treading water all this time.

“JJ, will you PLEASE get the fuck out of my way so I can get water for Kie?” You say, frustration apparent in your voice.

“That still wasn’t very nice-”

“JJ!” You growl warningly.

“You didn’t let me finish!” He exclaims. “But, you said the magic word, so I guess I can let you through.”

He finally moves to the side, allowing you to climb the stairs and board the boat. You went straight to the cooler in which you knew you’d put the water bottles. You swung the lid open, grabbed one, dropped it shut, then dived into the water. You knew the bottle was sealed tight; it was unopened. No saltwater could get inside, so you simply swam back to Kie holding the bottle in your hand.

You climbed back onto the sand bar and headed straight for Kiara.

“Here, I got a water bottle. It’s been in the cooler for a while so it may be a little cold on your eye.” You informed her, showing her the water bottle in your hand.

“Oh, thank you!” She exclaimed. “What took so long?”

“JJ was fucking around with me.” You exclaimed. “I swear, he can be the most annoying person on earth sometimes.” You moved towards your friend, unscrewing the water bottle and tilting her head back. You began lightly pouring the water over her eye, rinsing it of any salt that remained inside it.

“So you’re in love with him, why?” Kie questioned.

You immediately pause, halting all movement at her words

Did she just say what you think she said?

“Umm, what?” Is your reply as you continue rinsing out her eye.

“Come on, Y/N, you heard what I said. You’re in love with JJ.”

Play dumb, you decide. Maybe if you act like you don’t know what she’s talking about then she’ll think it’s not true.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Kie.” You say with a forced laugh.

“I think I’m good.” She says removing the water bottle from her face. She straightens up and blinks a few times before turning towards you. “Seriously, Y/N. You’re not that slick, and I’m not that dumb.”

Not knowing what to say, you just say nothing.

“We’re your best friends, Y/N, we probably know you better than you know yourself. You have feelings for JJ. I saw how much it hurt you when he was talking about that girl this morning. I saw how flirty the two of you were earlier today before you got in the water. Honestly, Y/N, I don’t know what you think you were hiding.”

You drop her gaze, looking anywhere but into her eyes. Of course you loved him, but what were you meant to say?

“I don’t know, Kie. I think I might have feelings for him. But, even if I did, he’s not into me like that. And if I told him how I feel, it’d just ruin our friendship. He’s my best friend. I can’t lose him.”

“How can you be sure he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Because of Faith.”

“Because of who?”

You sigh, knowing you’ll have to explain. “That’s the girl he was talking about last night. The one he said he really liked. If you are truly in love with someone, you don’t have feelings for someone else. I haven’t like anyone for months because all I could focus on was JJ. I can’t even fathom going home with someone after a party because I’d think of him every second I’m with the person. Do you get what I’m saying? When you’re really that into someone, no one else exists.”

After a short moment, Kie slowly nods.

“Yeah, I get what you’re saying. But how do you know he wasn’t lying about that Faith girl? Just… I don’t know… saying those things to see how you’d react?”

You shook your head. “No. I know JJ better than I know myself. He wasn’t lying, I could see it in his face. In his eyes. He actually likes that girl. And it, uh… it hurts. A lot.”

Tears began welling up in your eyes, and Kiara pulled you into a hug.

“I’m so glad you’ve finally come clean about this, I can’t process how hard it must’ve been for you to have no one to talk to.”

You nodded, and pulled away.

“Okay.” Kie began, grabbing your hands. “Here’s what’s gonna happen:First, we’re gonna swim and have some fun today. Second, we’re gonna go home so you can shower and feel all good and clean. Third, after I get off work today I’m coming to stay here and we are gonna get you wasted. I’ll even kick JJ out of the guest room so we can stay up late talking about him. Sound good?”

You quickly nodded. “Yes, Kie, thank you. That sounds amazing.”

Kie smiled warmly at your words. “No need to thank me, babes. That’s what friends are for, right? Now come on, let’s go have some fun.”

And have fun you did. You and the pogues had the best time that day; you swam, had chicken fights, had splash battles, a dive competition off the side of the boat. The day was as close to being perfect as it possibly could be. After a while, the five of you settled back into the boat, eating the snacks you packed. Once five rolled around, John B put the pogue in drive and you all headed back to the Chateau, already exhausted from the day's endeavors. As you pulled up to the dock, you leaped off the boat, shouting over your shoulder that you called first shower. Kie bade her goodbyes to the group before heading to her house to get ready for work.

You and JJ, as usual, made a beeline for the guest bedroom. Once the door closed, JJ immediately rounded on you.

“What were you talking about with Kie when you were helping her with her eye?” He questioned.

“Nothing, really. Why?” You quickly reply. Why was he so concerned? Did he hear anything?

“No specific reason, I just thought I heard my name.”

Your heart dropped to your feet.

“Oh, uh… Kie asked what took me so long when I went to get to the water bottle and I told her it was because you were messing with me.” Not a total lie.

“Really? That’s it? I could’ve sworn I heard my name, like, five times.”

As you finished gathering your clothes to change into after your shower, you turned and faced your friend. “Yep, that’s all. Your name was only mentioned once. I’ve gotta go shower now.”

You tried your best to hurry out the door, but JJ stopped you by grabbing your arm.

“Is there, uh… is there something you need to tell me, Y/N?” He asked quietly. As you gazed into his eyes, you saw a swirling storm of emotions. Fear, nervousness, and is that… hope?

“Umm, no, not that I can think of right now.” You push out quickly, knowing that if you thought about your answer any longer you’d start to look suspicious.

JJ hesitated for a moment, studying your eyes as if all his answers could be found there. When he realized his searching would come to no avail, he released your arm and looked away, nodding. “Okay, I just… yeah. Um, enjoy your shower.”

You furrowed your brows, confused by his strange behavior. “Thanks?” You said with a light laugh. You turn to leave, but a lightbulb forms over your head before you walk out of the room. “Oh, J, there is something I wanted to tell you.”

The blonde boy stood up from his spot on the bed, what seemed like hope spreading on his face.

“Yeah?”

“Kie’s spending the night tonight, but we want to share this room so we’re kicking you out.”

JJ’s face fell. “What? Why isn’t she sleeping on the pull out with Pope like usual?”

“Uhh… girl talk.” Your answer makes him both frustrated and slightly nervous.

“Girl talk? About what?”

You face dropped into a sassy expression, attitude forming within you.

“Are you a girl?” You question, cocking your head to the side slightly.

“Obviously not.”

“Well, then, guess you won’t be knowing what girl talk is about. It’s kinda for girls, hence the name.”

JJ rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Fine. Go take your shower before I steal the bathroom from you.”

You run quickly out of the room and into the bathroom, knowing that JJ would keep that promise if given the chance.

It’s now close to eleven forty-five, crickets chirping loudly outside of the Chateau. You, John B, Pope, and JJ are currently settled onto the couch, watching some cheesy sitcom that’s new on netflix. It wasn’t very good, and definitely wasn’t that funny, but it was a form of entertainment as you waited for Kie to arrive. Kie made you promise that you wouldn’t let the boys break out the alcohol before she showed up, and you always kept your promises. The boys protested greatly, but followed your instructions nonetheless.

This is why everyone cheered loudly when Kiara finally walked through the the front door of the house carrying two bags; one with her clothes, the other with two bottles of alcohol.

“It’s party time, bitches!” Kie exclaimed, and everyone ran up to see her. JJ reached for one of the bottles in her tote bag, but she slapped his hand away quickly. “No. Y/N gets first dibs on everything. She’s getting off her ass tonight.”

JJ looked at you, concern swimming in his eyes. You knew he knew you well; you usually only got hammered when there was something you needed to distract yourself from. There was something to distract yourself from, of course, but he couldn’t know what. So, you simply shot him a small smile as an answer to his look. He nodded, taking your smile as an ‘I’m getting shitfaced for the hell of it’ expression.

“Thanks, Kie!” You exclaimed, grabbing both bottles out of her bag. “You can drop your bags in the guest room, I already told JJ he’s been booted for the night.” Kie smiled, while Pope’s face fell.

“What? You’re sleeping in Y/N’s room? I thought you were staying with me!”

Kiara dropped her bags in the room before walking over to Pope, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

“Sorry, bebs. Y/N needs a girl talk tonight. I promise I’ll spend extra time with you tomorrow, okay?”

Pope nodded reluctantly at this, and the party began.

You set the bottles on the counter, where John B opened one for you. “No way, Kie! Vanilla vodka? I can’t believe you got my favorite!”

Kie smiled. “Yes ma’am! You know I got you always.”

You beamed back at the girl, insanely grateful to call her your friend. Kiara always knew how to make you feel better.

“You’re the best, Kie!”

A few hours and many drinks later, you couldn’t walk in a straight line to save your life. Kie fed you drink after drink, and John B blasted music through his speaker. You were having the time of your life, seemingly forgetting about JJ (despite the fact that he was right there with you the entire time.)

Now, it was getting late, and you were getting tired. Near the end of your drinking was when the tears usually come, and John B accidentally let the beginning of ‘Heather’ by Conan Gray play. You turned to Kie, motioning her towards you.

“Can we go to bed?” You slur. “It’s girl talk time.”

Kie nods understandingly, linking her arm in yours and announcing to the rest of the group that the two of you were headed to bed.

As soon as the door closed behind you, tears welled up in your eyes. Kie immediately walked to you, pulling you into a tight embrace.

When her arms were around you, you couldn’t hold your tears back any longer. Sobs began to overtake your body, tears spilling onto Kiara’s shoulder.

“It’s so hard, Kie.” You choke out, practically unable to form real words.

Kiara, being the amazing friend she is, just held you, rubbing your back.

“I know, love, I know.” She soothed softly.

You pulled away from the embrace, trying your best to wipe your tears from your face.

“I-I just feel so stupid.” You choke.

“Please don’t feel that way, Y/N.” Kie says. “It’s not your fault, you can’t help the way you feel.”

You sniffed, choking on sobs once again. “I know it’s not my fault, but it still hurts. I mean, look at me, I’m wasted out of my mind crying over him. He’s probably out there drinking and laughing and having fun with his friends. He doesn't care.”

“It’s not that he doesn’t care, Y/N, he doesn’t know. He’s just… I don’t know, oblivious.”

You sniffled again, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to have a sense of security. “You’re probably right. He wouldn’t talk about Faith to me, or openly talk about all of his hookups around me if he knew. He’s too good of a person.”

“I don’t know if this will make you feel any better, Y/N, but… I think he may feel the same way. Like, the way he treats you, how he speaks to you, how flirty he is with you-”

“He’s flirty with everyone Kie. You, me… damn it, he even flirts with Pope.”

“I know, I know, but it just feels different with you somehow.”

“But it’s not different. You know how I know? Faith. Like I said earlier, on the sandbar. When you truly love someone, no one else even comes into the picture. I think he is oblivious, Kie… he just doesn’t see me the way I see him.”

Little did you know, JJ was far from oblivious. While John B and Pope were continuing their night, JJ followed you and Kie to the bedroom, listening carefully outside the door. His mouth was agape as he heard the words leave your mouth. He felt guilty for listening in; he knew eavesdropping wasn’t okay. But, when he saw the look in your eyes as you and Kie walked out, he couldn’t help himself. He had to make sure you were okay.

He didn’t know what he was expecting to hear, but this sure wasn’t it. You were… in love with him? He couldn’t process it. All this time, he thought you saw him as just a brother. Now, standing alone outside the door of the bedroom you usually shared, he realized he couldn’t be more wrong. Every time he caught you looking at him, every wink, every flirtatious comment; it was all real to you.

And here he was, talking to you about Faith, not knowing how much that would hurt you. He really made it seem like he was in love with the girl… but he knew he wasn’t. How could he be? Standing there, at that moment, he realized… you were right.

When you truly love someone, no one else comes into the picture.

JJ moved quietly away from his spot by the door, still completely dumbfounded by his discovery.

You loved him.

And… he loved you.

He immediately walked back to the living room. John B and Pope were still having the time of their lives. They hadn’t even noticed his absence. The music was still blasting; John B stood on the couch, Pope on the coffee table. They had taken random objects from around the house (John B with a yardstick, Pope with a pool noodle) and were swordfighting. Their laughs echoed throughout the shack, combining with the loud music to create a lighthearted chorus.

They paused immediately, however, when they saw the look on JJ’s face as he returned to the room.

“You good, man?” john B questions, brows furrowed

“It looks like you shit your pants. What happened?” Pope adds on.

JJ doesn’t even know where to begin. He’s hardly processed the information himself. Slowly, he clears his throat, and tries his best to inform his friends about the situation at hand.

“I… uh… you know how Kie and Y/N left to go have ‘girl talk?’ Well, I listened at the door, and-”

“Woah.” Pope interrupts. He was far more sober than the others, having only had two drinks. But since alcohol isn’t normally his thing, his tolerance was extremely low, meaning he was still quite tipsy.

“The fuck is wrong with you, man? You never listen in on girl talk. Ever. That’s, like, a rule or something.”

“Y/N looked upset! I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

“Well, was she? What’s wrong with her?” John B was beginning to grow bored of the conversation in his drunk state.

“Well, she and Kie were talking and… um… she was upset.” JJ didn’t know the best way to proceed, so he just blurted it out. “Y/N was crying, and she was talking about being in love with someone and them not liking her back, and then Kie said they did like her back, and then I realized they were talking about me.”

The boys were silent for a moment. Suddenly, Pope and John B looked at each other, and bursted into grins.

“Yes! Finally!” Pope exclaims.

“I couldn’t wait until you found out. It was starting to become painful.”

JJ was baffled once again. “You guys knew?”

“She didn’t tell either of us, and neither did Kie. But, uhh… it’s really fucking obvious, dude.”

“If it’s so obvious, then why didn’t I know until now?”

“Because you’re oblivious, J! She could kiss you and you would think she only saw you as a friend.” John B says, clapping his hand down on JJ’s shoulder.

“She’s my best friend. She’s always acted like a best friend to me, right? We slept in the same bed and shit because we’re so close.” JJ’s statement seemed to be trying to convince himself more than his friends.

“You call that little incident on the boat earlier something best friends do? Come on, man, she was practically begging to be with you. The only way it could have been more obvious is if she pounced on you and started making out with you.”

“I-I thought that was a joke.”

“Didn’t seem like one.”

JJ’s brain felt ready to explode.

“So, when are you asking her out?” Pope questions with a smile.

“Ask her out?”

“Just admit it, man, we know you love her too.”

“I don’t know…”

“You’re in denial!” John B exclaims. “JJ, I’ve known you since third grade. I know you better than I know myself. I see how you look at her. It’s goo goo eyes every time she walks in a room. And you just- I don’t know- melt around her. No one can get you to open up like she can. No one can comfort you like she can. She’s your person, J.”

JJ doesn’t know what to say for what seems like the millionth time last night. He feels like he wants to cry, throw up, smile, and die all at the same time. “I- What about Faith?”

“Fuck Faith!” Pope says earnestly. “I’m sure she’s cool and all but come on. This is Y/N we’re talking about. She’s stunning, and smart, and funny. She’s literally you, just a lot hotter and with a bit more common sense.”

“I’m starting to think you have a crush on her.” JJ chuckles.

Pope just rolls his eyes. “You know what I’m trying to say. She’s perfect for you, man. And she already means a lot to you. You’re in love with her, I know you are.”

JJ sighs, covering his face. “Yeah, I think I am. I feel like I’ve known it for a while but I’ve just pushed it away I guess. She’s Y/N, my best fucking friend. I didn’t wanna mess things up between us, you know? What we have is so good…”

“Well, now you know you won’t mess anything up. So go get her, dumbass.” John B says, pushing JJ in the direction of the guest room.

“What, you mean now? Absolutely not. She’s probably asleep. And then she’ll know I was eavesdropping on their conversation. Not happening tonight, that’s for sure.”

“If you wait, you’ll chicken out.” Pope says. “Just do it. Rip off the band aid, my friend.”

“No.” JJ shakes his head, giving his final word. Not tonight. I’ll-I’ll do it tomorrow, okay?”

John B just shakes his head, patting his friend on the pat. “Whatever you say, man. I’m going to bed.”

“Same.” Pope adds. The boys say goodnight, and head off to their sleeping places. John B must have disconnected his phone from the speaker, as the music shuts off abruptly. JJ just sighs.

He moves to the couch, where he’s sleeping for tonight, pondering how much he’d give to be sleeping in his usual spot tonight. He cherishes his nights with you; they’re so comforting and nice. You are always such an amazing listener, and you always know the right things to say. You truly are the perfect girl.

He feels that you’re so close, yet so far away. He longs to walk in that room and kiss you right now. He knows it’s a terrible idea, but he wants to so badly. So long he’s dreamed of how your  lips would feel against his… and now he knows you might’ve been having similar dreams the entire time. He still can’t wrap his mind around it.

Being in love with your best friend is some cruel kind of psychological torture, JJ decides. The constant tugging at your heart when she mentions another guys’ name. The playful flirting that you wish was serious. All he ever wants is to hold you tight and never let go, but he never thought you wanted that. Now he knows you did, but it still feels so complicated.

Why is love so goddamn difficult?

JJ’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a creaking door and shuffling footsteps. He peeks up quickly to find you, still decently tipsy, walking out of your bedroom. He watches silently as you walk to the back door and go straight out of it.

The world seems to be spinning as you walk. Your head is beginning to pound from all your crying. After a few more minutes of talking, Kie had fallen asleep, leaving you alone with your thoughts in the dark room.

You had laid there, breathing heavily, going over every moment with JJ in your head. Your time as friends played like a movie in your mind, showing scene after scene of laughs, tears, smiles, and a whole lot of heartbreak. You wondered how you had gotten stuck so damn far into the friendzone.

Deciding you needed some fresh air, you pulled yourself from the bed and stumbled outside, heading down to the end of the dock.

You sat there on the edge, legs dangling off the side, toes brushing the surface of the water. You were still quite tipsy, and you knew it.

Maybe that’s why you didn’t burst into tears when you noticed JJ Maybank coming to sit beside you.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment. He didn’t know what to say to you; you had nothing to say to him. You gazed out over the water, and wondered if you could dive into the water and swim to the other side of the earth at this exact moment.

Thoughts of your escape plan were broken by a familiar voice you loved so much it hurt.

“Y/N?” The word was soft, almost nervous. The sound of it made you concerned. JJ never talks like this.

Instead of replying with some sassy answer as you normally would when drunk, you gave a simple “Yes?”

You heard JJ take a deep breath from beside before speaking again. “I, uh… I heard what you and Kie were talking about in the room. What you said.”

“You were eavesdropping on us? That’s kinda fucked up, J.”

“I-I didn’t mean to!” He defends himself quickly. “I was, uh, walking by and I heard you crying. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Okay.” You sigh. You had an idea of what was coming next. He’d give you some sympathetic ‘I’m sorry, I love you, just not like that’ and then things would never be the same afterwards. The last thing you wanted to happen would come true.

You’d lose him.

JJ didn’t seem to want to initiate the next part of the conversation, so you took matters into your own hands. “So you know? How I feel?”

JJ bites his lip, apprehensive. “Yeah. I-I do.”

You just nod; what else can you do? You feel the familiar lump form in your throat. Your head drops, tears pouring from your eyes almost immediately. You can’t believe you were going to lose him.

“Y/N-” JJ begins, but you are quick to cut him off.  

“No, J. I don’t need your sympathy. ‘You love me, just not like that.’ Don’t worry, I already know. Can we just move on?”

“But, Y/N-”

“No, JJ!” All the emotions you’ve hidden from him for so long were bursting out of you. You couldn’t tell whether it was from the alcohol or your vulnerable state, but the words came spilling out of you.

“I can’t. I-I can’t hear you say it. I’ve been dealing with this shit for so long. I’ve always known you don’t love me like that, and that’s okay. B-But I just can’t handle hearing you say it. So just… I don’t know… say you’re sorry and go back inside. I know things will never be the same between us after this, so I’ll move my things out of the guest room. It was your room first, I’ll sleep on the outdoor couch. I just- I just hate things had to end this way. I-I love you, J, and I always will, and it sucks that you don’t-”

Your words are cut off by JJ grabbing your face and crashing his lips onto yours. The sheer power of the kiss knocks you backwards, laying on your back with the blonde boy you love so much hovering over you. Kissing you.

JJ Maybank, finally kissing you.

At this moment, you silently condemn yourself for laughing at the dramatic first kisses between characters in movies. Fireworks always light up in the background, and it feels like they’ve been waiting for this moment their whole lives. You’ve always thought the whole thing was cheesy and overexaggerated, but now, experiencing it, you knew you were wrong.

Kissing JJ for the first time felt like everything you’ve ever needed. Like there was a missing piece in your life up until this point, and it’s finally been filled.

In your entire lifetime, nothing has ever felt so right.

After a moment, JJ pulls away, looking at you with a look in his eyes that he’s never seen before.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that.”

And then he’s kissing you again, and the sparks fly for the second time that night. You knew, and he knew, that you were kissing your soulmate.

You stayed like that for a while, holding each other, finally expressing the love you’d both been hiding for so long. Once you were done, you laid on the dock, wrapped in each other's arms, watching the stars.

JJ noticed your breathing getting heavier, and soon you were asleep. He looked at you for a moment. Even sleeping, you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

The boy picked you up and carried you back to the porch, where he lays down with you on the couch.

He wraps his arms around you, never wanting to let go.

“Hey, J?” You mumble, barely awake.

“Yes, baby?” He replies softly, making your heart flutter at the nickname.

“I love you so much.”

JJ smiles. “I love you too, Y/N.”

You fall asleep to the sound of the words you for so long wanted to hear, wrapped in the arms of the beautiful boy you finally get to call yours.

[grailknightmonty]

Welcome!

Whats up my gamers I'm Jay-Monty, a gay/trans man-Asian American content creator just hanging. Most of my stuff is minecraft related (both fanart and original) but I'm generally multifandom- I draw, occasionally animate and do music :D

I also stream art and minecraft on my Twitch (@ Twitch.tv/grailknightmonty) you should follow me im really cool and funny and we get into so much shenanigans. I will be your new favorite scuffed streamer

My main is @kiwibirdlafayette so I follow back from there!

Please read below for FAQ/Boundaries and Links

FAQ

Can you draw me/my OC?

Requests are closed, art trades are open to close mutuals only. COMMISSIONS ARE TEMP CLOSED. WILL REOPEN SOON https://gkmontycommz.carrd.co/

When will you draw/can you draw (insert fandom/character/ship) again?

I draw what I want, when I want. Please do not inquire about past projects or fandoms I used to make content for. And again, if you want me to draw something so bad, commission me :]

Boundaries

Do not repost or use any of my work without explicit permission from me (this includes for TikToks, video edits, other such things as these- Profile pictures and banners are ok w/o asking, but you must credit me in your bio)- My inbox is always open, don't be shy!

You are more than welcome to draw fanart for any of my AUs/Headcanon Stories/OCs and please do tag me! I'd love to see whatever you make and reblog it with all my love

Adding onto to that- I read all tags on rbs, and I love and appreciate every last one of them- Ramble away! <3

And along with that, if you make something inspired by/derived from a headcanon/AU, tag me in it as well! I need people to scream about my hyperfixations with all the time

SHIPPING: Shipping me (the cc) or my sona (#sir monty jones) are off limits always, im not comfortable with it at all as a person and my sona as an OC has a s/o in-universe :] You are however, allowed to ship my OCs with canon characters and other peeps OCs as long as they are chill with it

I'm shit at reading emotion over the internet, so using tone indicators with me is highly encouraged (but not required)

I generally have a very low social battery, if I don't reply to your messages super quickly, please do not spam my inbox/mentions for a reply, I'll get to you I promise

Do not pry into my personal life or demand information about (X) thing I might have briefly mentioned on stream/in a post, even if I might have overshared. I will share only what I feel comfortable with

I don't need to know if you don't like (X) character or (insert ship here). Don't like, don't look, its not that hard /nm

Do not infantalize/baby me. I love havin bits of help from chat when I play new games/modpacks, but do not treat me as if i were stupid/incompetent/need my hand held every step of the way like a child. I am a grown man :) I don’t want to have to disallow backseating entirely

Other Socials

Twitch- twitch.tv/grailknightmonty Twitter- Main: grailknghtmonty || Alt/Spam: thegrailguy Instagram- grailguymonty TikTok- Grailknightmonty (For Cosplay posts!) Reddit- u/grailknighthozier (long story) Discord- GrailknightMonty || Stream Server: https://discord.gg/Q5DbGjc6vS

Thanks for stopping by and enjoy your stay!!

[theyneedtobangstahp]

Stray kids reaction to their Girlfriend being a youtuber

Genre:Fluff

For Chan, I kinda incorporated my country’s dish because thats one of the things I can cook Hehe. Shout out to my Filipino peeps and my sinigang peeps! I kinda went over board and made them do a video together hehe sorry but I hope you enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------

` C H A N ▪

~W E L C O M E TO Y / N ’ S K I T C H E N~

Would sometimes be too busy to join you in some videos tbh. But when he does have some free time, he will join you. He actually enjoys doing youtube videos with you.

You lay out all the ingredients on the table and turn on the camera. “Hello Everyone! I am y/n back at it again in making my house burn! But, today there is a special guest that will help me not burn my house down. After many days of asking, no scratch that, begging him to join, he finally said yes! So here he is my boyfriend, Chan!” You clap as he comes into the frame with you. “Hi, hello.” He says while waving shyly to the camera.

“I can’t believe it. Bang Chan, being shy all because of a camera? You’re acting like this is your first time being recorded.” You say to him. “That’s different! This is your personal channel. I have to be on my best behavior.” He says while standing up straight looking like a good boy. You chuckle at him and pass him an apron. “What are we cooking today Chan?”  

“Well, since my very beautiful girlfriend cooked this for me last week and I liked it very much, she will teach me how to cook sinigang! Did I say it right babe?” He whispers to you. “Hmm, much better than last time. You still have to work on your ng though but it’s fine.” You reassure him. “We will specifically cook shrimp sinigang! Because it is way easier. Now chan what do you think is the first step?” He looks at the recipe and reads it. “Well it says here to boil water.” 

“Yes, I will do that and you can chop the tomato and onions please.” 20 minutes later of teaching him how to cook sinigang, it was time to taste it! 

“Okay first taste of Chan cooking Sinigang!” You say as you pass him a spoon. You both take a sip of the soup and your face clearly showing that you enjoy it, but Chan wrinkles his face. “It’s way too sour!” He says while looking at the camera. “It’s just right!” You argue back. “Did you add extra tamarind powder while I wasn’t looking?” He asks you. “No..”

You do your outro then start editing, you add the part where you did add extra tamarind powder into the soup when you were editing. You upload it and Chan watches it just as it gets posted on youtube. “You did add extra powder!” You hear Chan scream from the living room. 

` M I N H O ▪

~C H A P S T I C K C H A L L E N G E~

"Minho! I’m home!” You shout as you enter your shared apartment, holding this small bag filled with chapstick. You see Minho on the couch watching television, you sit next to him and hold his hand. “Hey my baby, my very handsome, cool, talented, sexy, gentleman of a boyfriend.” He looks at you weirdly. “What do you want y/n?” You scoff at him.

“Can’t I just compliment my handsome boyfriend?” You say while snuggling closer into him. “You can, but whats the catch?” He caught you. “Can you be in my video? Well you can’t really say no-” He cuts you off “No.”

“Come on! You’re the only one I can do this with! I can’t exactly ask other people for this. It’ll be really awkward if I ask other people to do this with me.” 

“What video are you shooting?” 

“Chapstick challenge.” You say while smirking at him. His eyes get wider when you said that. “You should’ve said that first! I’m always down for kissing you.” He says while grabbing your hand and also the bag, rushing to go into your studio. (your shared room) 

“You are purposely getting the flavors wrong Minho! You can’t do that!” You say while trying to stop him pulling your face to kiss you again. “Just one more kiss y/n. I really don’t know.” He says while cheekily smiling at you. “How can you not know, you literally also use this kind.” 

“I don’t remember it. Now please kiss me again.” He says while stealing a kiss from your lips.

“Minho!”

` C H A N G B I N ▪

~Q A N D A W I T H M Y B O Y F R I E N D~

Changbin would be down to be in a video with you! Most especially a q and a. He really wants to win this one so he can show how he remembers every single thing about you both. 

“Okay first question, where was our first date?” You put your phone down and write your answer. Changbin looks at the ceiling, recalling all the dates you guys have been to. He scribbles something down and looks at the camera. “Done!” He screams. “Okay show it on the count of three. one, two, three!” You both show the whiteboard to the camera and you look at him confused. “We didn’t have our first date at your house? We had it at the movie theatre down the street.” You say as you show your answer to the camera. “No, we had it at my house. We were having our weekly movie nights as friends then I confessed to you when the character was also confessing!” He says. “But it wasn’t a date!” You argue back. “I legit asked you after you said you liked me back if it was a date and you said yes.”

“Oh yeah, I remember now.” You say while recalling the memory. “You see this guys? She doesn’t even know the answer to the first question. I’m basically the winner now.” He says while smiling proudly at the camera. 

“There are 19 more questions! I can catch up easily.” 

“Sure y/n, sure.” 

` H Y U N J I N ▪

~T U R N I N G M Y B O Y F R I E N D I N T O A N E B O Y~

“Hyunjin!” You shout from your room. “Yes?” He shouts from the living room. He hears your feet padding down the stairs and you peek your head in the living room. “Do you mind joining me for my new video?” You ask him. “What do I need to do?” 

“You just need to sit and look pretty for me, and also model and outfit for me.” You say while smiling at him.”Sure, when do we start?” “Now.” 

You sit him down on the stool and he looks at you confusedly. “Whats with all the make up?” You ignore him and open your camera. You do your intro and he is shocked by what you said. “Hey guys y/n is back at it again with her shenanigans and today I’m going to turn my boyfriend-” You point at him “Into an e-boy.” 

“I was not informed. I thought you said I was just going to sit still and look pretty?” 

“You are-” You grab your make up kit from the table “trust me, this will be great!” You put his eye make up and kinda ruffle his hair but styling it in a way that looks good. “What are you doing now?” He asks because you didn’t give him a mirror. You wanted him to also be surprised by the outcome. “I’m going to put a fake lip piercing on you, stay still.” You put earrings on him and give him his clothes. “Okay guys this is the finale. The moment we all have been waiting for. Hyunjin come out from the bathroom!” You point your camera at the door and he walks out. Your mouth drops open and he poses for the camera. 

“Damn. I don’t think the world is ready for e-boy Hyunjin. Am I even going to upload this?” You say mostly to yourself but Hyunjin laughs at you. “Of course you should babe! I look good. Now come on I need to model too right?” He was enjoying this too much. You guys take pictures and he is so into it. You do your outro and turn off your camera. You look at him and still can’t believe it. 

“Damn, just, damn.” Hyunjin just smiles at you and kisses your cheek. “This is all you baby.”

“I should’ve done this a long time ago.” 

` J I S U N G ▪

~M Y B O Y F R I E N D D O E S M Y M A K E U P~  

Jisung will most definitely want to join you. He just wants to help you all the time with your youtube channel. When you asked him if he could do a video with you and he gets to put make up on your face, he is so down for it.

“Please don’t put too much foundation on my face.” You say as you see him pick up the foundation from your make up kit. You really don’t use it that much, it’s kinda just there. He squeezes the tube and a lot of foundation goes out. His eyes go wide and he looks at you. “Oh, this is too much.” He says not really knowing what to do with the extra foundation. He pats it on your face and gets eyeshadow. “You’re not going to put concealer on me?” 

“What do I need to conceal? Your beauty? Oh no thanks I won’t be using that.” He says trying to be romantic. “I legit have acne and acne marks Ji.” 

“Well I don’t care. I won’t use that on your face.” He says. “If you already think I’m very beautiful, why do we even need to do this video?” You ask him. He stops putting eyeshadow on you for a second. “You’re right. We need to scrap this video idea of yours!” You laugh at him. “I’m just kidding Ji, continue what you were doing.” A few minutes of him trying to put eyeliner on you, he says this. 

“You know that you don’t need to put make up on right? You’re already beautiful in my eyes.” 

“I know Ji, and I’m really thankful for that, but you need to finish doing my make up. I need to see how you did.” a few minutes later he was done and he didn’t do that bad. It was good for a beginner. You upload it and instantly get comments of how much Jisung shows his love for you in the video. Especially the part where he told you that you were very beautiful. Your subscribers also fell for him when he said that to you, but you were the lucky girl that he was head over heels with already.

` F E L I X ▪

~D O I N G T I K T O K D A N C E S W I T H M Y B O Y F R I E N D~ 

Let’s be real. If Felix wasn’t in stray kids, he would definitely have a youtube channel. So when he found out you had one, it was basically also his channel. He also uploaded some stuff on there so when he came up with a video idea, you were down for it. 

“Hey guys! It’s Felix here and welcome to my youtube channel!” He says to the camera. You just smile at him and introduce your self next. “And I’m y/n! The previous owner of this youtube channel, and today we are doing something different, Lix can you explain?” You gesture for him and he instantly starts explaining. “So guys, as you know stray kids have tiktok, and one night I kinda went into a hole and learned almost all of the trending dances on there, and guess who doesn’t have a tiktok?” He says while looking at you. “Look, before I get any hate, I watch tiktok videos on youtube okay? So I know some dances on there!” You defend yourself. “Okay boomer. Now I’m going to teach my boomer of a girlfriend some tiktok dances that she doesn’t know. Are you ready baby?” He asks while looking at you.

“I can’t believe my boyfriend just called me a boomer just because I don’t have tiktok.” You say while looking at him in disbelief. “I’ll take that as a yes. Let’s start!” 

The video was full of laughter as Felix was teaching you the dances, also him being amazed by you learning most of them just by watching it only once. “Close your moth Lix, you’ll catch flies.” You say while smirking at him. He looks at the camera and points at you. “I retract my earlier statement, my girlfriend is not a boomer.” 

` S E U N G M I N ▪

~I N T R O D U C I N G M Y B O Y F R I E N D~ 

Your relationship was finally public and this gained attention on your youtube channel. Mostly comments on having him on some of your videos and some hate comments but this ain’t about them. They wanted to get to know Seungmin more as your boyfriend, not as idol Seungmin. He was kind of against it at first but seeing you interacting with your fans, he kinda had a change of heart.

“I’ll do it.” He suddenly says in the middle of a movie. “Do what?” You ask not knowing the context of what he was saying. “The video. It’s been a while so I think we’re in the clear. Also, I want to know your fans.” He says. “You don’t need to do it if you feel pressured Seung. I completely understand that it may not be the wisest decision while in the middle of your career. You don’t need to feel pressured to do the video, okay?” 

“I know, but I’m tired of always thinking about what other people have to say about our relationship. It’s our relationship, not theirs. I shouldn’t have to care about what they think, and I know that now. So just tell me whenever you want to do the video, okay?” He reassures you and days later you guys are recording it. 

“Hello everyone y/n here! This video is kind of different from the past ones because I have a special guest today. Please welcome my boyfriend, Seungmin!” He comes into frame and sits beside you, holding your hands out of habit and just because it gives him comfort.”So I know all, if not almost all of you know him. He is from Stray kids, they just had a comeback so you guys should definitely stream and buy the album okay! Give my boys some love!” You turn to him and gesture for him to talk. “Oh, uhm, hi I’m Seungmin. Uhm, what else do I say?” He asks while looking at you. You pinch his cheeks because he just looked so cute and looked at the camera. 

“As you can see by the title of the video we will basically be asking him some questions so you guys get to know him more. Maybe some other stuff aside from what we already know?” You ask for his permission and he nods. 

“Okay, now that we got the go signal, let’s start!” 

` J E O N G I N ▪

~W H I S P E R C H A L L E N G E~

He would be really shy when you first asked him to be in one of your videos. He was scared that your fans would not like him. You assured him that was not going to happen because he was a very lovable human being and he deserves all the love in the world :< After many attempts he finally said yes and to make his very first youtube video with you fun and memorable, you decided to do a challenge with him. 

“Hi guys this is the first time my boyfriend will be joining me in one of my videos, so what better way to welcome him than to do a challenge? More specifically, the whisper challenge!” You look at him and he continues what you were saying. “So uhm, we both wrote down random things we like on a piece of paper. The other one doesn’t know what it says, obviously, and they have to guess while having music on full volume.” He says while smiling cutely at the camera. “Okay! Let’s begin. Put on your headphones Innie.” He puts them on and you both start.

“Penguin.” You say to him calmly. “Ben ten?” 

“Peng-” “Ben” You shake your head at him “P-Peng” “PENG?” You nod and continue. “Uin.” “What? Win? Oh! PENGUIN!” He screams at you. You guys switch and it’s his turn. 

“y/n” He says while blushing. 

“Did you just say my name?” You asked confusion all over your face. “ Why would you write that?” 

“You told me to write stuff we like, I like you. Well, I love you, but you get the point.” He scratches his neck and accidentally shows the camera how red his ears are. “I am definitely not going to edit this out.” You say while chuckling at how cute your boyfriend is. 

[sunarintoes]

Dear Whoever: [Shirabu Kenjirou]

Synopsis: Where reader was bored during quarantine and decided to send hand written letters to all their friends however Yn forgot one important thing, her best friend Mina no longer lived at her old address which led to Shirabu - a boy at another school, receiving the letter.

WC: 1.7K

TW: none :)

Note: hello! here is the newest and last instalment of the dear whoever series!! I hope you enjoy even though it’s a bit slow

Dear Kiyoko, 

How are you? Quarantine must suck, although you really love your alone time so maybe it's not so bad for you? I'm finding it boring and spent a good day or two on tiktok and kept seeing people write letters and send them to their friends so I thought I'd try it out. It's kind of weird? Anyways… just wanted to ask how you're going and all, if you want we can continue to send letters to each other?

From Yn

Dear Yn, 

I’m sorry my name is actually Kenjirou - not Kiyoko. Unfortunately you must have written in the wrong address, perhaps this friend of yours's last name is Shimizu? Because if so the Shimizu family owned this house prior to my family moving in. you sound like a nice friend, it is very thoughtful of you to write letters to your friends. I'm sure they will be thrilled with the surprise.

Kind regards, Kenjirou. 

Dear Kenjirou,

Haha wow I can't believe I forgot that she moved houses! How silly! Sorry about that! Well, I'm all for making new friends - especially in this boring time, so how about it? Will you be my pen pal? No sweat of course! I don't want to make you uncomfortable considering you are a stranger… but if you write back can you at least tell me some information? Haha that sounds creepy but I would like to know who I’m communicating with at least, I'll do the same (and send a pic of myself).

From, Yn

Dear Yn,

I'm not the most social person but I can agree with you, this lockdown is making me incredibly bored and these letters seem to be the least bit interesting so I will agree to your suggestion. I am a second year student at Shiratorizawa and I play volleyball. If you must know I have light brown hair - same as my eyes, and light skin. To answer your question from your first letter that was technically directed at your friend Shimizu, I am doing alright albeit very, very bored and caught up in studying. How about yourself?

Kind regards, Kenjirou,

Dear Kenjirou,

I am doing good! I enjoy writing back and forth with my friends - it brings me great entertainment and gives me something to look forward to. Online schooling is a pain in the ass. Oh! About me, I am also a second year student from Dateko! What a coincidence because I also play volleyball! Maybe we have crossed paths at a tournament? Do you have a favorite subject at school? Oh also! Like promised here's my instagram: @yn.-. ,,, proof that I am who I am haha. But how about we don’t text on there, we should keep this a sort of tradition and send letters to each other. 

From, Yn

Dear Yn,

Hope you are doing well, it's nice that we are now mutuals on social media and I can confirm that I have seen you before - though it was for a very brief moment at the spring high tournaments. I agree, online school is, quite frankly, draining me mentally. I feel as if there is a larger work load. Personally my favourite subjects are chemistry and biology; I strive to become a doctor in the coming years. I like your idea of communicating through mail, it's not quick or efficient but it is something to look forward to. What position do you play on the volleyball court? 

Kind regards, Kenjirou

Dear Kenjirou,

I am doing well thank you for asking! How about yourself? And yes it's nice to be mutuals, your account has a nice aesthetic to it! I play setter! If my memory serves correct, you do as well? Do you like picnics? I really like them. When this is all over I really really want to hang out with all my friends, do you feel the same?

From Yn

Dear Yn,

Glad to know you’re well and despite being swamped with assessment tasks, I am okay. I also like the presentation of your account, and yes, your memory is correct; I do play setter. I have never gone on a picnic before… perhaps we can go on one after we get out of lock down?

Kind Regards, Kenjirou 

Dear Kenjirou,

Of course I would love to go on a picnic? Where would we go? Do you like reading books? I read a lot of them in my spare time - including short stories online, when we manage to go on a picnic why don't we bring our favourite books and talk about them and read them… if that doesn't sound boring of course!

From Yn

Dear Yn,

I love reading books, if we were to go somewhere I think a nice nature park would sound good; somewhere quiet and away from kids… do you have a favourite colour, or perhaps a favourite food? Only two more weeks of lockdown left, I'm excited to go back to school and play volleyball again.

Kind regards, Kenjirou 

Dear Kenjirou,

A nature park sounds lovely, too bad we can't go anytime soon. Did you hear the news last night? They are keeping us in six more weeks because some people are stupid enough to continue to party… this is so annoying! Not that we can do anything about it - the only thing we can do is stay inside and wait it out. My favourite food is rice!! And my favourite colour is probably red. What about yourself? Oh one more thing… this may sound strange but I love exchanging letters like this - the rest of my friends stopped about two or three weeks ago but you've kept at it and it's made me feel… I don't know, special? Hahahah let's ignore that sorry!

From Yn,

Dear Yn,

I understand what you mean, everytime I receive and read through a letter written by you I feel warm inside. And yes i did see the news and as unfortunate as it is we can't do anything but wait it out. I don't have a favourite colour, it’s never really been on my mind. When you say your favourite food is rice, what do you mean? Just plain rice? 

Kind regards, Kenjirou 

Dear Kenjirou,

I’m glad you feel like that, and yes, when I say my favourite food is rice I mean just a bowl of cooked rice haha. Since we can’t go on a picnic anytime soon, why don't we have a virtual one? We could just set it up in our rooms and facetime each other, how about that? Sending letters to and from each other is something so special but u long to hear your voice.

From, Yn

Dear Yn,

A virtual picnic? That sounds lovely. How about next Friday afternoon? Truthfully I'm excited, I know it won't be with you in person but at least I’ll be a lot closer to you compared to when we write letters.

Kind Regards, Kenjirou

Today is the day you finally speak to Kenjirou face to face, you stand up and look over your room; ‘to think I actually cleaned my room for a boy,’ you sigh. You leave your room to collect the picnic blanket and the food. 

The doorbell rings; ‘delivery!’ With everything in your hands you do your best to open the door, when you look outside you see the postman a good ten metres away and for a second you think its weird before you remember the damned pandemic going on. ‘Afternoon miss, lovely day isn't it? I have a bouquet of flowers addressed to Yn. I've left them just next to your foot. Enjoy your day!’ And with that, he left. 

You raise your eyebrows and look down to your foot and as he said, there is a lovely bouquet of flowers - red chrysanthemums, daisies, pink camellia and primulas. You stare at it for a minute, ‘what an odd combination… it kinda works though…’ you bend down to pick it up and then proceed to waddle through your house with full hands and a slightly obscured vision. 

When you get to your room you set everything up, ‘where do I put these flowers?’ Just as you were about to place them on your desk a small note fell out; ‘dear Yn,’ you read, ‘I’m sorry, I'm not sure what your favorite flowers are but hopefully you like these ones. If we were on a real date I would have given these to you in person. Kind regards, Kenjirou.’ You stare down at the flowers and smile, ‘so that's why they are an odd bunch; he must have searched up flowers with pretty meanings.’

The smile continues to rest on your lips as you sit down, patiently waiting for the clock to strike four before you press the green call icon. To your surprise on exactly four - and not a second later, your phone rings and when you accept it you come face to face with the boy you have been secretly harbouring feelings for. 

‘Afternoon Yn, how have you been today?’ You notice the straight posture he holds along with his deadpan facial expression but despite him looking like he doesn't want to be here, you remind yourself that he called you before you called him - meaning he was just as eager to meet you. 

‘Hey,’ you start off softly, ‘I’ve been excited all day, it's nice to finally hear your voice and see you in person.’

A small smile graces his lips, ‘yeah, same to you.’

The two of you spend the night talking and sharing facts before you settle down to watch a movie together through screen sharing. When the movie ends you look back to him to find him already staring at you. 

You take this time to muster up the courage to confess your feelings, ‘hey Kenjirou, I know we haven't been friends for that long and this is the first time we’ve spoken to each other but I’ve- I guess you could say I really like you and…’

‘Let’s go on a real date when this is all over,’ he finishes for you.

You smile brightly at him, ‘I'd love to!’

Bonus !!

‘On one condition! When we go on an actual date I get to hug you!'

Kenjirou lets his small smile grow slightly larger, ‘that's fine with me.’

Taglist: @ladyrenart​

[hyocherie]

Jikook: T w o W o r l d s (ジクック: 2つの世界)

Next: Previous: 

P r o l o u g e

1.

"Oi, Jimin!"

Jimin looked behind him, his dark ginger-tinted locks stirring in the wind. His eyes were sparkling hazelnut and his nine-tailed tinted auburn. The young fox faced the one who called him, a small smile curling up his lips.

"My darling twin. What's wrong?"

"I'm hungry," Taehyung whined, pouting and putting his hand in his stomach. "Where's mom?"

"I don't know, I've been looking for her everywhere..." He whispered, staring at the crystal waterfalls. The sudden calmness of it makes Jimin lose his worries and relax, that's the power of this waterfall.  Its name is the Oshinkoshin Waterfall or in Japanese, Oshinkoshin-no-taki [オシンコシンの滝].

"It's funny on how we share this waterfall with other human beings," Taehyung glanced at the waterfall, his eyes sparkling from its crystalline beauty. "It's quite unfortunate that we don't get to communicate with them or anything."

"The waterfall?"

"Humans, stupid!"

"We're not allowed...remember what happened to the late princess?"

"Yeah...she fell in love with a human being. I want to too..."

"You want to die? We saw the late princess being killed in front of our eyes. We were children back then!"

"But It makes me wonder," Taehyung murmured, bending down and staring at the small lilac flower. "Why aren't we allowed?"

He then looked at his twin brother, who was still looking for at the waterfall.

"No one knows."

Jimin then sighed, sitting down beside Taehyung, who was holding the flower with amusement in his hands.

"Do you also know the reason why?"

"Why we're not allowed?"

"No..," Jimin then stared at the sky.

"You know, you stare at a lot of things."

"It's a habit."

"Okay.., "Taehyung then went back into playing with the small flower.

"Answer my question.."

"You haven't even answered mine!"

"What's yours?" Jimin then looked at his brother.

"Umm, is it about the relationship with human beings?"

"No, not that..."

"Then what?"

"Why are we called wicked foxes? Evil in any way possible..."

"Where did you get that information? I didn't know that..."

"I was hiding there," He pointed the small bush right beside the large enchanted tree. "Then I heard human beings talking about us."

"What'd they say?"

"They said that there's a myth that Kitsunes like us live here and steal the lives of humans who trespass our enchanted waterfall. Or curse them. One even said that we can shapeshift as humans like them then act like them to steal and curse them."

"We can really shapeshift...right?"

"Yes, we can turn into humans like them or other animals, but now it's forbidden because of what happened with the late princess."

"Aww...too bad."

"I know."

The silence then fell on them, only the water splashing is allowed to speak. The wind rustled the leaves, making other dead leaves come with it. The sky was clear cerulean, with cotton-like clouds walking in the sky. The sun shone through the clouds, shining sweet light to the land. Jimin then lied on the grass and closed his eyes, the sunlight reflecting on his snow-white skin. His nine tails became a pillow to his head and a small scarf protecting his from the cold of early autumn. His favourite season is coming, and he is very excited about it.

"Oh, by the way," Taehyung queried, covering Jimin's face from the sun. "Why were you looking for Mother?"

"Oh? She left the house hours ago. She should be back by this hour, she said..."

"WHAT?!" Taehyung exclaimed in Jimin's face. He shoved his twin away.

"Don't scream at me..."

"Sorry, my darling twin."

"..."

"..."

A sudden silence fell on them again.

Then, something from out of the bush ran towards them. It's Nayeon, a fellow Kitsune friend of theirs. Nayeon is the same age as them, but she became the older sister of the two.

"Nayeon?" Jimin interrogated. "What's wrong?"

"Your mom..." she struggled to release the words from her mouth as she was panting. She held on Jimin's sleeve. "Your mom..."

"What happened to our mom?" Taehyung helped Nayeon up.

"R-run.."

"What?"

"RUN NOW! THE GUARDS ARE LOOKING FOR YOU TWO! GO!"

"Nayeo-"

"Leave me! Get all your things and go!"

Nayeon pushed Taehyung and Jimin away, she collapsing to the ground because of exhaustion.

She looked at the two confused brothers.

"Now! They'll kill you!"

"I need to save mo-"

"If you go," Nayeon cut Jimin from speaking. "You'll die. NOW GO!"

Taehyung and Jimin ran as fast as they can, leaving Nayeon alone.

2.

Taehyung and Jimin packed their things and left the house immediately. They shapeshift in their fox form because that's the only thing they're allowed to shapeshift into. They ran across the forest, not leaving any trace of their smell and footprints.

"Now, where are we going, my darling twin?" Taehyung asked whilst running beside his brother.

"there's a forest in Tokyo. Grandmama lives there with Jihyo. We'll go there."

"Jihyo?"

"You forgot her? She's the one Grandmama adopted years ago."

"Oh, right. Yeah..."

And the twins run towards Tokyo to their Grandmama. that will surely give them safety.

3.

"Where are the twins?" the Imperial chief asked the subordinate while holding a dead woman in this hands.

"I don't know sir-"

"FIND THEM NOW!" The Imperial Chief Enraged with anger. "I WANT TO KNOW WHERE THEY ARE AND WHERE THEY'RE GOING! BRING THEM TO ME ALIVE!"

He then threw the dead body in the waterfall, tinting half of the water with blood.

"Yes, sir," the subordinate then bowed down, ordered his men and went out to find the twins.

"I'll find you soon," the chief whispered. "Your life will pay for your sins."

The prologue is done! I didn't actually expect this myself to go into this type of situation...😅😅😅 silly me. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this prologue and it gave you more interest in reading this series of mine. I got to rate this mature for how I think the story will turn out with a lot of killing and violence, I guess...😅😅😅

But just a little reminder, I may not post that more often, both the Two Worlds and Hanahaki Series because there are upcoming tests that I have to study and 2 more projects left to finish. I'm also going to change my glasses in the meantime and I can't see with my glasses so this might take a while. But, I hope you put this story in your list for updates. I'll be also posting it on the stream if I can. I'll also be posting this on Quotev, and I also hope you check that out.

But anyway, thank you for staying tuned! I'll be looking forward to telling the story of Kitsune Jimin and Human Jungkook with you!

You can follow me on:

Twitter: Moon_ARMY007

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Bye!

I also felt like this prologue would need to be continued. But no, I won't. It'll be revealed mostly in the story. And yes, crossovers.