#victims of faith healing

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Wendy Glauser

Published: Aug 9, 2011

Two parents in Oregon who refused to seek treatment for their infant daughter’s tumour on religious grounds were recently sentenced to jail time, but advocates for children’s medical rights remain concerned about the leniency the justice system shows to “faith healing” families in some areas of the United States.

Timothy Wyland, 44, and Rebecca Wyland, 23, of Oregon City were found guilty of criminal mistreatment for allowing their 18-month-old daughter’s hemangioma, an abnormal proliferation of blood vessels, to grow into a golf ball-sized tumour that covered one eye. They were sentenced to three months in jail on June 24. Rather than seek medical care for their daughter, the Wylands, members of the Followers of Christ Church, relied on prayer, oil anointment and the “laying on of hands.”

Dr. Seth Asser, a Rhode Island pediatrician, argues that lawmakers and judges often fail to recognize the dangers of faith healing. “Children who have died in these cases suffer seizures, vomiting,” he says. “Their deaths are agonizing, slow and extremely painful.”

An investigation led by Asser published in Pediatrics found that between 1975 and 1995, 172 children died following faith healing, 140 from easily curable or treatable medical conditions (Pediatrics 1998;101:625–9). In one case, a two-year-old girl choked on a banana and showed signs of life for an hour before dying, while her parents and other adults simply prayed.

In the late 1970s and early 1980s, most states had faith healing exemptions in their child abuse and neglect laws. Nineteen states still allow religious defences for felony crimes against children.

Canada, by contrast, does not have religious exemptions to criminal charges such as neglect. However, while children of Jehovah’s Witnesses have died as a result of parents’ refusals to approve blood transfusions, the deaths often occur during the time it takes doctors to prove to the courts that transfusions are medically necessary.

Still, despite the leniency toward faith healing shown by US courts, the number of children dying from medical neglect because of religious beliefs appears to be “going down gradually,” says Asser. This is partly due to Children’s Healthcare is a Legal Duty (CHILD), an organization that lobbies states to repeal protections in criminal codes that implicitly condone faith healing.

In May, Oregon’s senate passed a law repealing exemptions in its criminal code that allowed faith healing to be used as a defence in crimes such as homicide and neglect.

John Clague, a spokesman for the Christian Science church in Oregon, said he supported the new law because of the high number of child deaths in the Followers of Christ Church. When asked about the 28 deceased Christian Science children in the Pediatrics investigation, he lamented their deaths, saying that “unlike some other churches, we don’t say these deaths are God’s will.” He claimed his church leaders expect their followers to seek medical care for their children when faith healing “isn’t working” or in situations where a child may die for lack of care.

But the Christian Science church “continues to support religious accommodations for the responsible practice of spiritual healing,” says Adam Scherr, the church’s national media coordinator.

None of the parents implicated in recent Followers of Christ Church faith healing deaths in Oregon were reachable for comment and defence attorneys for the Wylands did not respond to repeated phone messages. However, a man who answered the phone at the Followers of Christ Church in Oregon City said he staunchly believed faith healing works, in part because “my mother is going on 95 and my grandparents lived well into their eighties.”

While arguing deaths of children in his community were “the divine will of God” and saying “one just died the other day, from sepsis, I think,” the man, who refused to give his name, also wanted to make it clear that his church does not force parents to avoid doctors. “That’s up to them if they want to take their children to a doctor.”

But some leaders of religious sects tend to have different messaging for the general public than for members, according to CHILD founder Rita Swan, who lost her 16-month-old son to spinal meningitis in 1977 after being pressured by fellow members of a Christian Science church to eschew medical care for faith. Horror stories are often spread about medical treatment, she says, while faith healing miracles receive much attention.

Given this context, lawmakers in favour of religious defences argue that parents making what they believe are the best decisions for their children’s health shouldn’t be treated as criminals. Swan argues, however, that when criminal laws apply to everyone equally, parents in churches practising faith healing have an “excuse” to visit doctors. “If the law plainly tells them that they must get children to a doctor, I think that’s much easier, and on one level they’re relieved,” says Swan.

According to Dr. Jim Lace, an Oregon pediatrician who lobbied against legal exemptions for faith healing, medical neglect is more likely to be reported when there are no religious exceptions. Some citizens erroneously think that child protection services can’t intervene in faith healing cases because of “confusion around the laws,” he says.

Likewise, Asser argues that faith healing parents should be treated the same way as anyone else who neglects a child. “If you or I get drunk and pass out and a child dies as a result, we go to jail, but if a child dies of a preventable medical issue because of these parents’ own form of being stoned on religion, they’re not held liable.”

[thepersonalwords]

If the idea of loving those whom you have been taught to recognize as your enemies is too overwhelming, consider more deeply the observation that we are all much more alike than we are unalike.

Aberjhani, Splendid Literarium: A Treasury of Stories, Aphorisms, Poems, and Essays

[creature-wizard]

Faith healing, energy healing, and quantum healing are, unfortunately, means of selling eugenics to the masses. It very often all comes down to the idea that if you can't get better without actual medical intervention, then you either deserved to die or were "supposed" to die.

[synthshenanigans]

Continuing from my last post bout Mind, we also need to talk more about how paranoid & untrusting/second-guessing your mind can be cause i think its very interesting

[actingwithportals]

Ok but the one thing I will say I didn't like about the finale was what happened to the Cat. That made me very sad I do not like seeing bad things happen to cats even if they are assholes

[blueprint-poetry]

muscle memory (betrayal)

Give me back the bricks I let you have to help build the arena I’m standing in, cause I’d rather carry all the pieces and let them cut me into ribbons than stand in this arena with a busted six.

It was foolish desperation, muscle memory where there is one no longer. I’m standing over graves in my mind, every better part of me laid to restlessness in these haunted cemeteries where even the crypt keeper looks an awful lot like me.

I relied on it to crutch my last slipping fall, words catching against my chest with a little inane laughter to keep it at a distance. Cause I didn’t really wanna speak it, only trying to head off the next punishment if I kept it quiet.

I can’t even keep my own peace cause I’ve been tripping over a useless self in effort to appease. Laid myself out like a damaged welcome mat that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad in the end. But I betrayed myself letting you in.

Cause this arena I’m standing in is meant for those with a solid stance and a keen eye to watchfulness over my delicate heart and frostbit trust, so much the worse for all of this— growing colder still with every betrayal fashioned by any and every eager hand. Somehow I have to amputate the one that would do it first.

—blueprint poetry

[snekdood]

Yknow what makes me reaentful? How ive been sexually abused so much growing up, no one did shit besides shove me off to a therapist, ive been promised by feminist spaces that ill have a place to heal within them, and as soon as my abusive ex tries to smear me and project their behavior on to me by accusing me of doing that shit too, all the sudden everyone acts suspicious, and i still dont get any of that promised healing. Its hard not to feel like my ex did this intentionally to prevent me from having a space to heal. And its my issue with the "believe victims" narrative because it seems to me like people dont actually want to believe victims but to believe the victims they *like* and *agree more with politically*. If people can just say whatever about someone and you feel obligated to believe them because "believe victims", its very clearly going to be exploited by abusive people, and while i dont think we should stop per se, we need to have some sort of actual system to vet who is and isnt telling the truth, like a pseudo-courtroom. At the very least let everyone and their side of the story actually be heard. Bc idk how you guys plan to believe two victims at once who are accusing eachother other than throwing your hands up and picking one or deciding that we're both bad, which doesnt seem very fair to me since people seem to looove demonizing me for no discernable reason.

[k4vehrtz]

⸻ YOU'RE A CRISIS OF MY FAITH

. ✦ . starring — dom!top! t. fushiguro / m! reader

warnings — porn with some plot, sacrilege, a copious amount of religious themes, priest! reader, virgin reader ergo loss of virginity, allusion to homophobia / internalised homophobia, unprotected sex, blowjob (r receiving), deepthroating, fingering, riding, creampie, toji lowkey has a corruption kink, use of the nickname 'angel', toji refers to the reader as father once but that is entirely in a religious sense . ✦ . wc — 2.1k . ✦ . notes — we'll all pretend that didn't just happen!! anyway!! i'm so so normal about toji...and !! i don't know what exactly falls under dark content but seeing as this contains sacrilege you've been warned nevertheless. not proof read bc t**blr stressed me out

“what does —” he stops himself mid-sentence to motion upwards, “the big man upstairs think about homosexuality?”

you swallow hard, your adam’s apple bobbing. you hadn’t expected the question, naturally. especially from the likes of toji fushiguro of all people. but you answer anyway. “well,” you murmur, averting your gaze so that you’d stare out the window as the first signs of winter begin to settle in for its extended stay instead of being forced to meet toji’s pointed gaze. “we all are subject to desires that may or may not reflect god’s light, but these desires aren’t sinful unless you act or encourage others to act on them.”

he nods almost absentmindedly in response before following up with: “…even you, i imagine, as a man of god, could fall victim to such desires?”

and you pause for a beat, your jaw tightening as an image escapes the dark recesses of your mind; the neat box you’ve forced what you deemed unpleasant thoughts into.

the man in your mind didn’t look quite like anyone you knew at first. he was just a man without a name or a face — similarly to the world before god’s divine intervention, he too was without form. but then, by chance, you met toji fushiguro and his teenage son. then the man who’d haunt your thoughts began to change.

he was older, weathered by life experiences and parenting, and taller, maybe 6’2, with messy black hair that fell over his brows. his hair reminded you of the cloudless, starless night sky. then there was that scar on the corner of his right lip. you’d imagined yourself on more than one occasion leaning toward him, pressing your lips against it before he’d open his mouth and let you explore the wet cavern.

though you shake your head as if that would dismiss your thoughts, fingers curling defensively around the window’s ledge. “everyone encounters temptation in their day-to-day, but, like god’s son, we must resist.” you counter eventually. “you’re not one for idle chatter.”

“i’m not,” he agrees, his voice smooth, something akin to the feeling of silk against your skin. it gives you goosebumps and makes the hairs stand up. he puts his hands up in mock surrender, his gaze intent. you can feel him burning holes into the back of your head. “you know, i think i’m long overdue for a confession.”

“as you wish.”

“our heavenly father has declared the following in the book of james, chapter five, verse sixteen: ‘therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective’. now, in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit, amen.”

silence — and then toji sucks in a breath, his voice thick with an emotion you can’t quite grasp but has you shifting in your seat on the other side of the confessional booth anyway. you’re, on some level, disgusted by your behaviour. it’s unprofessional at best, or perhaps the beginning of your unravelling at worst. you fear it’s the latter.

“bless me, father, for i have sinned,” the words slide off his tongue with ease, “it has been two months since my last confession.” and your eyes flutter closed, or maybe you forced them closed because you feel no better than a pervert by the way you ache at every sound that comes out of his mouth.

either way, you don’t notice the way the door creaks as toji lets himself out of his side of the confessional booth and opens the door to yours until he’s kneeling in front of you, the pads of his fingers digging into your sides. the skin of his fingers is rough, worn out from the different tasks he takes on to keep himself and megumi afloat, you think. he’s become something of a handyman around town.

“to be honest, father,” he says, now directly addressing you. “i came here fer’ your guidance…you see, i’ve been havin’ thoughts lately that i don’t think align with what god wants.” and you find yourself at a loss, your eyes still closed, though your adam’s apple bobs again as you swallow your suppressed thoughts. “my guidance?” you repeat quietly, “confess your…thoughts…then, and seek forgiveness. it’s not a sin unless you act on those thoughts.”

he lets out a pleased hum at that, leaning forward so that his face is practically buried in your clothed crotch. “so,” he counters, “if my understanding is correct, would it be a sin if i told you to spread your legs f’me?”

you don’t trust yourself to speak right now — not when your thoughts are all muddled. so, you simply nod and toji clicks his tongue. “but sin or not, you’re going to anyway because you and i both know how we feel about each other, right? c’mon, use your big boy words and tell me.”

the smart thing—no, the right thing to do here would be to say no. adamantly deny the lingering touches and glances that the two of you had come to share. affection between two men could only go so far. but then again, you’ve gone so much farther in the safety of your bedroom long after the sun has set. how much longer could you shamelessly show your face to the other members of the church and listen to them confess their deepest secrets to you? you’re parading as a righteous man when you’re anything but.

if it turns out to be as bad of a sin as they say, god will strike you down.

turns out it’s not as bad of a sin as they say — or maybe it is and you’ve yet to receive divine punishment.

“god works in mysterious ways,” you say under your breath but toji hears it anyway. how could he not when you’re in such proximity to each other? you hadn’t meant to say it out loud but it doesn’t matter. and toji (ever the charmer) takes it upon himself to respond, “maybe he brought us together for a reason…or maybe i’m one of lucifer’s lackeys sent to seduce you.”

you make the conscious decision to ignore that which seems to entertain toji even more. he’s ridiculous in ways you can’t fathom. like…the way he’s got your legs spread, back pressed firmly against the wood of the confessional, your thighs trembling as he clicks his tongue, “spread yer’ legs a little wider f’me angel, s’not enough f’me to suck that pretty cock.”

he… he knows what he’s doing. whereas you were clumsy and inexperienced. but, to be fair, you had taken a vow of celibacy when you were twelve.

now, though, you’re experiencing true pleasure for the first time — and with a man, no less. you tilt your head back in what little space the confessional affords you as toji gives your balls tentative touches, maybe light squeezes, as he aligns the head of your leaking cock with his mouth. you’re embarrassed, warmth flooding your cheeks, but you can’t look away. not when this is all you’ve ever wanted.

there’s pre-cum on his lips; your pre-cum. it’s there, as clear as day, and he’s entirely unbothered. all of his attention is on your cock. your cock that’s throbbing as he sucks on it. pre-cum and saliva mixing. it’s all so new to you.

as for him…well isn’t this cute? you’re trying your hardest to stifle those needy moans of yours, he can tell. but no matter how much you bite down on your lower lip or how you press your hands against your mouth those pretty sounds you make always find a way of escaping. part of him, somewhere deep down, feels guilty for corrupting you like this. but perhaps he doesn’t feel guilty enough.

he continues to work on your cock, sucking on it whilst simultaneously fondling with your balls. you’re quivering, rutting your hips forward now and then. occasionally you go too far and it scares you at first — you didn’t mean to push your cock all the way to the back of his throat! ever the unbothered, though, he welcomes it until you’re spurting your load down his throat. and he swallows, utterly content.

then he coos at you, bringing a thumb up to your face, and tracing the outline of your jaw. “don’t worry about me, angel, you’re not going to hurt me. what you’re going to do f’me is let me reposition us so i can see your pretty boy hole, m’kay? my boy can do that f’me, right?”

my boy. the idea of being his. after so long…it only feels right. so, you allow him to readjust your position so that you’re straddling his lap and somewhere in the process you both disregard your clothes.

“you’ve been thinking about my cock? that’s why yer’ hole is winking f’me? all ready to take my cock like a big boy?” he asks and you nod your head eagerly. every word that comes out of his mouth is dirty but your reactions are the icing on the cake. you’re not the quiet, unassuming priest he met by chance all those months back. and to think that he’s the reason why.

well, he doesn’t linger on the thought. you’re impatient, squirming on his thighs in search of friction. but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t get him going and he may be many things but he would not force himself into you without properly preparing you to take him.

so as much as you whine about it, he ultimately takes his time with you. the nearest lubricant happened to be some sort of oil, but he made sure that it was safe to use before coating his fingers in a generous amount. then he oh so carefully drags his finger across your hole. it makes you shudder, but after a few minutes of this, you find yourself unprepared for the stretch of fitting a singular digit in. it hurts and the moment you so much as whimper toji’s pressing his lips against yours. the same lips that were around your cock only moments ago. his lips are gentle, soothing, even.

and he keeps it like that — his lips against yours as he slowly introduces more fingers into your ass. it takes a while but your pained whimpers soon morph into more desperate, filthy little noises as he drags his fingers in and out of your hole before curling them, tips grazing your prostate.

you want it, you decide. his cock, that is. you want his cock in your ass beyond a reasonable doubt. it’s all you need. bouncing on his fingers feels good but you just know that his cock would feel so much better.

“this is a sin, we’re both sinning,” you announce, your words strong but your delivery coming in between laboured gasps as his fingers continue to graze your prostate. “so i expect you to fuck me like you mean it.”

and he doesn’t need to be told twice. with a scoff — one that sounds more amused than annoyed — he pulls his fingers out of you. shaking his head as you whimper at the loss. but it’s soon replaced by something bigger and much thicker. it’s his cock, covered in the same oil, and you almost can’t believe it when he’s aligning it with your entrance, pushing past the tight ring of muscle.

you have to take a few breaks before you fully sink on him with a low groan. he makes you feel so full and he hasn’t even moved yet. and when you take it upon yourself to ride him you revert to the softheaded boy he makes you out to be.

your movements are clumsy — mediocre, you’re sure of it. but toji doesn’t intervene. he simply leans back, big, warm hands on your hips, while you figure out your rhythm. and after a few failed attempts you find one that works for both of you. it feels good, it feels great even. his hard cock filling you to the brim while you all but mindlessly bounce on his cock, your walls clenching around his throbbing length.

you’re going to cum soon, you’re sure of it. and when you do eventually watch through teary eyes as your cock spurts ropes of cum onto his stomach you’re not surprised whatsoever. toji, however, takes a lot longer to cum. you’ve probably cum at least two more times by the time toji takes control, his grip on your hips tightening as he angles you just the right way to hit your prostate with each thrust of his hips upwards. your toes curl, eyes half-lidded, and you just barely acknowledge the warmth of his semen in your ass.

all you can think of, and just barely manage to stutter out is: “you’ve fucked me,” and he stares up at you with a smug smile, chest heaving as he copes with his orgasm that has been a long time coming, “yeah, i’ve fucked yer’ pretty boy hole.”

[skippyv20]

Our Group Prayer List🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

We pray for all those who are suffering from cancer.  We pray for all those who have passed away due to cancer.  We pray for their loved ones.  We pray for peace and comfort them.  We pray for cures for all cancers.

We pray for all the murdered children and babies.  We will pray for them….If they could not feel love in life….We want them to feel earthly love in heaven.  We pray for them.

All who have been victims of crime.  We do see you and we will pray for you.  We pray for you to recover from both emotional and physical scars.  We are so proud of you.  You keep moving forward, and we acknowledge the strength that takes.

All alcoholics and drug addicts.  We acknowledge your pain, your struggles.  We know the courage it takes to want to recover and too stay in recovery.  We acknowledge the guilt you take on, and we pray for you to have peace in your hearts.  We pray for your loved ones and friends, who have suffered along side of you.  We pray for them to have peace in their hearts. We pray to Saint Monica to intercede on your behalf.

We pray for all caregivers.  We acknowledge how tired you must be.  Taking care of loved ones is so difficult.  We acknowledge the sacrifices you make.   We admire your strength, and we pray for you to stay strong, and to feel peace in your heart.  We pray for God to lift the heaviness you at times feel.  We pray for your loved ones, to appreciate you, and to have patience with you.  We pray for you and your loved one.

We pray for all those that suffer from mental illness.  We pray for you to have peace in your heart and your mind.  We pray for you to have better days, and to have the strength and the courage to get through the day.  We pray for your mind to clear, and for the dark cloud to disappear.  We pray for your loved ones.  We pray for the patience and understanding you need to help you move forward.  

We pray for the missing.  We pray for them to be found.  We pray for the families and loved ones of the missing.  We pray for them to have strong faith.  We pray for missing, and pray they make it home no matter what the circumstances.  We pray for them if alive to be touched by God and for them to heal and be restored.  We pray if not alive, they are found and returned to their families for a proper burial.  

We pray for all those that are mourning the loss of their loved ones.  We pray for them to feel peace and comfort in their hearts.  We pray they feel God’s loving presence as they go through the grief process.  We pray that their tears are replaced with happy memories.  We pray they have easier days. 

We pray for all the mothers that are estranged from their child/children for whatever reasons.  We pray for them to find peace in their hearts.  We pray for them to stay strong in faith that they will reunite.  We pray for their memories to be of happier times, and sad times to fade away.  We pray for God to touch their hearts and lessen their pain.

We pray for all those who are in ICU.  We pray for them to feel God’s loving presence and for their healing.  We also pray for those who are losing their loved ones.  We pray for them to have strength and courage and to stay strong in faith.

Little Babies Heart Club (thank you for the name @sandiedog3

We pray for all the babies and children that suffer from illness.  We pray for God to wrap his loving arms around them, keep them safe and remove all pain from their little bodies.  We pray for each and every one to be healed and restored back to good health.  We pray for angels to stand beside them and protect them.  We pray for their little bodies to rebuild back to good health.  We pray for their families that carry the pain of their babies.  We pray for their faith to stay strong.

We pray for all those who struggle financially.  We pray for those who are unemployed to find employment.  We pray for them to be free of worries that weigh so heavily on their minds.  We pray for them to be guided to earth angels that will show them the right path.

We pray through Christ our Lord.🙏🏻❤️

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

Pick a Card: Message from Lord Apollo

Take what resonates and leave the rest behind, baby. But always be open to new experiences. Decks used are Ethereal Visions Illuminated Tarot Deck, True Black Tarot, believe in your own magic oracle and pure magic oracle.

🌤Tip your Reader🌻

_________

PILE ONE

Astrology: Libra, Leo, Aquarius

Song: Apollo by Faith Zapata

Vibes: Yellow, red, white, indigo, owl, pidgin, scrunchies, tot bags, forge, swords, renaissance, skulls, poison, dancing, bus rides, public transport, arm tattoos, 333, 8787

Cards: Justice, 3 of Swords, Queen of Swords, 8 of Cups, The Sun, 7 of Wands, Hidden Familiars, Confidence, Belladonna Visions

Welcome to your message from Lord Apollo, pile one! I can see you had to walk away from something that meant a lot to you to gain a dream come true. You do not feel confident about your decision at all. Mostly because you haven't been able to feel the rewards from this huge change yet. You might have moved away from home or left a job that you have been at a long while. You knew you had to do it. The energy from where you were was changing into something that didn't resonate with you anymore. There was a chip on your shoulder where you used to be. You were not being treated with respect. Where you are going is meant to remove that chip and show you how you genuinely deserve to be treated.

Lord Apollo wants me to let you know that the heart break will be worth it. He knows that you are scared about the future and what is to come. He wants me to tell you that you have been guided to this new experience. Good things are coming and you don't need to be scared. The rewards will come with time and practice. Stand firm in your decision and know things will work out for you. You will receive anything and everything you need to help you succeed where you are going. He knows this isn't something you would normally do. You are a very logical person and you always have a plan. This feels like it is something you jumped into without much planning and it feels really anxiety inducing. Trust yourself. Trust that your guides will have your back. Not everyone is going to agree with your decision and you need to know you don't need their approval to make this decision. Things will work out without the approval of others. It is okay to be unsure. It is okay to be scared. Clarity will come to you on why things needed to go the way they need to go.

_________

PILE TWO

Astrology: Scorpio, Gemini, Cancer

Song: SUNRISE by MICHELLE

Vibes: Yellow, gold, blue, pink, black, squid, octopus, crows, activism, spiral, swirls, fencing, fairies, bubbles, stars, oranges, grapes, peaches, apricots, fruit, 4444, 88, 13

Cards: King of Swords, 4 of Wands, Death, 7 of Swords, 8 of Cups, Page of Swords, Raindrops, Opening Circle, Baraka

Welcome, pile two! Lord Apollo wants me to tell you to take a chance on that person. It could be someone you are romantically interested in but it could also just be someone you want to get to know better. This person you are interested in feels like an air sign (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius). Remember you aren't as naive as you used to be. Broaden your horizons. You don't have to sell yourself short anymore. Change how you think about yourself, my dear. You have changed in nature but you still see yourself in the same light that you used to see yourself. You aren't a victim anymore. I will also say don't throw all caution to the wind. Make sure you have a back up plan and remember to keep yourself safe. Just know you don't have to be as scared as you used to be. You are strong. You are driven. You are powerful. You don't have to hide in fear anymore.

Lord Apollo knows you have been through some scary stuff in the past. What you went through wasn't your fault. You have spent a while mourning and that was important for you to do. You don't have to mourn anymore. You can open your heart up to healing. You can look for love in other people again. He recognizes how much you have grown and wants you to know he is proud of your progress. You have learned what you needed to learn. You are protected from the pain you felt before. It won't happen again. The universe, Lord Apollo and you are looking after you. You are safe. Lord Apollo promises that.

____________

PILE THREE

Astrology: Aries, Taurus, Capricorn

Song: Under the Sun by TWRP

Vibes: Grey, purple, orange, green, shore line, salamanders, lizards, raven, lion, baby's breath flowers, nest, wedding cake, birthday cake, solar plexus chakra, sacral chakra, 1010, 1111

Cards: The Tower, King of Wands, Queen of Pentacles, 10 of Swords, 10 of Cups, 6 of Wands, Wings, Earth Mother, Mantra Medicine

Hi, pile three. Lord Apollo really wants you to listen to your mentors and friends. There is something you want to do. I don't want to sugar coat it, my dear. It is a bad idea. Your guides have been trying to steer you from this path because it is going to be very hard and it doesn't have to be. He asks you to listen closely to the music you have listening too. Pay attention to the music you hear when you are out in public. The lyrics are trying to tell you something important about this big choice you want to make. There is a reason things have been delayed so much. There is a reason why everything has been going wrong. Your friends and guides are trying to protect you from someone who is hurting you. Why are you letting them hurt you? Why are you letting them control you? Why? I want you to really REALLY think when I ask you this. Is this person hurting you? Do they actually make you feel good? Are they erasing who you are? Do they make you wear a mask when you are around them?

Lord Apollo showed me visions of my ex when I started doing this reading. He showed me how depressed my ex made me feel. He showed me how all my friends told me not to go with my ex, but I did anyway. The song I put in this readings description was a song I listened to when I was with him to cope with the pain he put me through. (I hadn't read the cards yet when I put that song there.) Please hear me. Please hear you friend and please hear Lord Apollo. Do not trust someone who says they love you but then treats you like trash. You are so much better than that. You deserve better than that. I see that there are two paths. You can either deepen you connection and trap yourself with this person who is not treating you right. OR you can leave them and give yourself the freedom you deserve. If you choose to deepen the connection it will prolong your pain. You will still end up leaving this person. You will just leave with darker bruises and no self esteem. I have been with someone like this. My guides told me to leave too. It took me a long time to listen and it hurt more the longer I stayed. Please trust Lord Apollo. Please trust your friends. They truly love you. They want what is best for you.

_________

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Sagittarius, Virgo, Pisces

Song: baseball by Hippo Campus

Vibes: Light yellow, light blue, light purple, pastels, black, alternative fashion, yoga, smoke cleansing, geckos, flowery patterns, florida water, perfume, white roses, red dress, sunflowers, hyacinths, cats, 333, 4, 22, 111

Cards: Ace of Wands, Queen of Swords, Page of Swords, The Lovers, Queen of Wands, The Well, Tower, Vervain Everlasting, Salamander

Hello, pile four. Welcome to your message from Lord Apollo. Lord Apollo is telling me you lost someone. You think about them a lot even though you are trying to be independent. Your heart longs for this person all the time. I'm so sorry you lost them. I don't mean to be insensitive but you need to let go of them. They aren't yours anymore. You aren't theirs even if you are still under their spell. I'm very sorry. I can hear your crying to love songs you two used to share. It hurts deeply to listen to something that used to give you so much pleasant emotion. Lord Apollo knows how that feels. He know how it feels too long for someone and cry for days at the loss of them. It is hard to move on. I won't doubt that. He apologizes for your pain. Apollo wants to help sooth your heart.

Lord Apollo wants to help you express the pain you feel. I think you may have felt the need to write something recently. He wants to encourage that desire. He will help you. Write poetry or journal. Whatever you feel drawn to do with writing. I think writing romance stories might help you sore heart heal. Your emotions are a well of creativity. Harness the pain and turn it into ecstatic beauty. If you still feel lonely after writing you heart out my dear. You should get a cat and some rose quartz. You are spellbound by this person who had to go. Cats are good at protecting you from energy from spell work. They absorb negative energy and neutralize it. It will be good for your heart to love a little creature. Cats are also very good at teaching independence. Plus, they are very good cuddle buddies. Apollo and me wish you luck. I hope you heart moves on from the pain. I believe in you, my dear.

[firesnap]

i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Wilson Criscione

Published: Mar 13, 2022

[ Graves of children are scattered throughout Peaceful Valley Cemetery outside of Boise. The cemetery is used by Followers of Christ, a sect of Christians who reject medicine and instead rely on prayer to heal the sick. ]

For years, Linda Martin has kept a stack of files describing the deaths of children in Idaho.

Each death is a child of the Followers of Christ, a sect of Christians who reject medicine and instead rely on prayer to heal the sick. Martin was raised in the church but now is among the strongest advocates of making faith healing in lieu of necessary medical care illegal in Idaho.

But each year, Martin’s stack of coroner reports keeps growing.

“These never get any easier to read,” she says.

There’s a 2-year-old whose feet swelled as a fever burned for six weeks before she died of strep pneumonia. There’s a baby who died in its mother’s arms due to a disease in the colon that could have been treated with surgery. There’s stillbirth after stillbirth after stillbirth, reports obtained by InvestigateWest show. And because of Idaho’s religious exemption for so-called “faith healers,” all of it is perfectly legal.

Many states, including Washington, have some kind of legal protections for parents who refuse medical treatment for religious reasons. But due to Idaho’s extraordinary leniency for faith-healing parents and the number of deaths at Followers of Christ, Idaho’s has drawn the most attention, including a 2018 Emmy-nominated documentary called “No Greater Law.” It’s one of only a handful of states that shields faith-healing parents from felony charges such as manslaughter even if their children die of treatable illnesses.

Attempts to remove the faith-healing exemption have been blocked repeatedly by Idaho legislators trumpeting religious freedom and parental rights. And while the pandemic has pushed public health into the headlines, it’s done little to take politics out of the discussion. In many ways — especially when it comes to parents’ decisions for their children — it seems to have had the opposite effect.

Far from trying to remove Idaho’s faith-healing exemption, Idaho lawmakers introduced a bill in November that would have strengthened it, though it stalled in the Senate.

[ Attempts to remove Idaho’s faith-healing exemption have been blocked repeatedly by Idaho legislators trumpeting religious freedom of groups like the Followers of Christ. ]

Even in Washington, proponents of removing the state’s religious exemption for abuse or neglect — which, somewhat uniquely, only applies to Christian Scientists — are finding the task more difficult than they’d anticipated. In the last decade, several attempts to do so have failed.

A new Washington proposal, House Bill 1048, had some advocates optimistic until the legislation stalled in the Senate in late February. Lawmakers who supported it had been skeptical it would get through, given how the pandemic has stoked concerns over parental rights and medical decisions.

“I view that as an obstacle, not a tail wind,” says Sen. Mark Mullet, D-Issaquah, who spon.sored a similar bill two years ago. “You can’t do public policy in a logical way when things are super emotional.”

Stalled in Olympia

Rita Swan, who founded an organization working to repeal faith-healing exemptions across the country, says that Idaho’s exemption is particularly egregious, but Washington’s is problematic, too.

Washington first added a Christian Science exemption for medical neglect as part of an education bill in 1969. Then in 1997, the state expanded the exemption so that parents using Christian Science treatments can’t be criminally prosecuted for withholding medical care. That change was part of an amended bill adopted pro forma, meaning it was voted on with no opportunity to make changes.

Today, Washington is one of three states — the other two being Arizona and Connecticut — to have exemptions mentioning Christian Science directly. Children or vulnerable adults receiving Christian Science treatment are not considered abused or neglected in Washington, even if it leads to a high probability of death.

Proponents of the exemption argue that it allows Christian Scientists to treat children according to their religious beliefs, claiming there have been thousands of healings due to Christian Science prayer treatments. The Christian Science church says members are not forbidden to go to doctors.

But with the way the law is written, Swan says, it’s possible to claim a religious defense to a second-degree murder charge when a child dies of abuse or neglect.

“I think it’s so foreign to Washington’s values,” Swan says.

Swan is a former Christian Scientist herself. In 1977, she was living in Michigan when her 16-month-old son, Matthew, became ill with a fever. She called a Christian Science practitioner for treatment, which amounted to praying for the child.

When the fever wouldn’t go away, Swan wanted to take him to the doctor. But she was torn: If she sought medical care, the Christian Science practitioner said she’d no longer give Matthew prayer treatments. To the church, Swan’s doubts about the prayer treatment were the reason they weren’t working.

On the 12th day of Matthew’s fever, Swan took him to the hospital.

“Immediately six nurses surrounded him,” Sway says. “I thought, ‘These are the people that care about children.’”

But it was too late. Within days, Matthew died of meningitis.

Swan, ridden with guilt, left Christian Science and devoted her life to removing exemptions allowing faith healing in lieu of medical care. She began tracking related deaths in each state. So far, she’s identified 10 children since the 1970s who’ve died in Washington from treatable diseases, and nearly 200 in Idaho.

In Washington, bills to change the exemption in the last decade have failed to gain traction. Oregon, meanwhile, ended its religious defense for faith healers in 2011 for cases of homicide and criminal mistreatment of children. Since then, several Followers of Christ parents in Oregon have been convicted of not seeking medical care for their children.

[ The Peaceful Valley Cemetery outside of Boise is used by Followers of Christ, a sect of Christians who reject medicine and instead rely on prayer to heal the sick. ]

Mullet, the Washington state senator, grew frustrated that multiple bills he spon.sored to remove the exemption never passed. At first, he could blame the Republican-controlled Senate, but once Democrats gained control several years ago, the bills still didn’t pass. “At the end of the day, they were like, ‘This isn’t a top priority that we have to pass this session so it can wait until next year.’ And that was just the story over and over,” Mullet says.

This year, Rep. Emily Wicks, D-Everett, spon.sored a bill that would have removed the reference to Christian Science practitioners in the state’s criminal mistreatment law and clarified that faith-based practices constitute negligent treatment or maltreatment if they pose a clear and present danger to the child.

The Christian Science church in Washington took a neutral stance, but said they’re generally supportive of the change.

“We recognize the responsibility and ethic that must especially extend to the care of children and vulnerable adults who depend upon others for their proper care,” says spokesperson Lance Matteson. “We feel this bill achieves that proper balancing of interests that promotes health and fairness for all Washingtonians, including our most vulnerable.”

The bill overwhelmingly passed through the House on Feb. 14 with bipartisan support. But again, it died in the Senate at the end of the month.

Caroline Fraser, an author who was raised a Christian Scientist in Washington, supported the law change but says the root of the problem goes deeper than the current state law. If the Christian Science exemption were removed, Fraser remains skeptical the law would be followed. Christian Scientists may not see that a child has a disease, she says, because their “entire life is based on denying the existence of those diseases.”

“If you’re a believer, you cannot evaluate whether a child is suffering,” Fraser says. “They won’t report because they don’t believe what’s in front of their eyes.”

‘These kids were dying’

As her stack of death reports continued to grow, Martin turned her attention in 2017 to the coroner in Idaho’s Canyon County, where gravestone after gravestone marks the deaths of young Followers of Christ children in the church-affiliated Peaceful Valley Cemetery near Boise.

[ The Peaceful Valley Cemetery is located about 30 miles outside of Boise and is used by Followers of Christ, a sect of Christians who reject medicine. ]

She filed a complaint with state Attorney General Lawrence Wasden, alleging that the coroner at the time repeatedly failed to refer children’s deaths to law enforcement as required by state law. Martin provided more than a dozen coroner reports backing up the allegation.

But the attorney general’s office declined to look into the complaint at all. Instead, in the office’s response to Martin obtained by InvestigateWest, they quibbled with the language of the law. The law requires a referral to law enforcement if a death occurs that is not attended by a physician “and the cause of death cannot be certified by a physician.”

While the deaths in Martin’s complaint were clearly not attended by a physician, the attorney general’s office said Martin’s complaint failed to allege that they could not have been certified by one.

For that reason, the attorney general’s office said the complaint didn’t establish even “potential” violations of the law, so they did not have authority to investigate. The office declined to comment for this article.

Martin calls it a “phony excuse” that illustrates how committed Idaho remains to protecting Followers of Christ, a small church with members scattered around the state and in Oregon.

“I really thought people would care more. You think that when you put so much out there, and with the horrific way these kids were dying, that people would care enough to help,” Martin says.

Idaho’s religious exemption dates back to 1972. Soon after, religious exemptions for medical neglect became much more common. In 1974, Richard Nixon signed the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act, which carved out a faith-healing exemption and required states to pass similar exemptions in order to access federal funds.

That federal requirement was later rolled back, and many states subsequently repealed religious exemptions.

In the last decade, Martin has tried everything she could to remove Idaho’s exemption. She told them about her nephew Steven who died of untreated pneumonia just before he turned 3 because Martin’s brother was a member of Followers of Christ and refused to get him medical care, Martin says. She showed reporters graves of children scattered throughout Peaceful Valley Cemetery.

In 2015, a task force put together by then-Gov. Butch Otter estimated that 31 percent of the gravestones at the Peaceful Valley cemetery belonged to children, 10 times higher than child deaths in the rest of the state.

[ In 2015, a task force compared the child deaths in Idaho overall with the gravestones at Peaceful Valley Cemetery. The task force estimated that 31 percent of the gravestones at the cemetery belonged to children, 10 times higher than child deaths in the rest of the state. ]

But bills to change the law were scuttled. State Sen. Patti Anne Lodge emerged as a major obstacle for child advocates, arguing — like many Idaho lawmakers — that faith healers have a right to practice their religion, even when there are deadly consequences.

Lodge, who lives in Canyon County, is not a member of Followers of Christ but has spoken openly in favor of the church. Its most publicly seen member, Dan Sevy, who featured heavily in the “No Greater Law” documentary, reportedly played music for one of Lodge’s fundraisers in 2016. Sevy declined to comment for this article. In the past, he’s argued to state legislators that Western medicine comes from “Satan” and that the reason more Followers of Christ children die is because the members have larger families.

In January, child advocates and law enforcement officials held a panel again calling for a change to the faith-healing exemption, but no legislation was introduced. One advocate, Protect Idaho Kids founder Bruce Wingate, says if a bill overturning Idaho’s exemption didn’t pass before, it certainly would have a hard time passing in 2022.

The pandemic has only amplified fears from Idaho’s conservatives that their religious freedom and parental rights are under attack.

“But with or without a pandemic, parental rights don’t trump a right to life,” Wingate says. “These kids don’t know what constitutional freedom or religious freedom is. They’re 1 or 2 years old.”

==

Faith-healing exemptions need to end.

[gaysindistress]

Things I think would happen if you were in a relationship with Karlach

Main masterlist I swear I’m working on a bg3 masterlist

1. Starting a relationship isn’t easy

You have no idea if she actually likes you and all of your advances feel like they’ve failed. She’s friendly to everyone and puts so much faith into your party that you cant gauge her approval of you. Numerous times you’ve tried to make a subtle move but with nothing to show. She always greets you with the same energy as she does everyone else. She gives you all the same smile and excitement. She supports everyone without a second thought. She politely rejects your affection every time you try to give her even a shred of what you truly want to.

The night of the tiefling party comes around and you’ve finally worked up the courage to just tell her. I imagine that you’ve enlisted Shadowheart and Astarion to help you get ready and they’ve spent hours at this point doing so. Your hair has been washed and styled by Astarion’s nimble fingers while Shadowheart has lightly painted your face with makeup she’s made from the foliage around your camp. Wyll and Gale both have stopped in theirs tracks to compliment you as well as having agreed to keep Karlach busy and away from you. Lae’zel has been sitting by the entire time pretending to be sharpening her swords but also adding her own input every now and then. At one point she took over braided because Astarion didn’t get them tight enough and she can’t stand it.

When the others have decided that you’re ready, they huddle around with nervous energy and give you a big thumbs up as you walk away. By now Karlach has figured out that something is going on however it’s not until she sees you that it full registers. Her breath catches as she looks over to see you walking her way. She’s always thought you were beautiful but the moonlight and general joy of the evening gives you a glow she can’t ignore. Like the moon goddess herself, you seem to radiate the night sky’s beauty and she can’t help but stare at you with an open mouth. She almost doesn’t hear your shy greeting and has to shake herself back to reality.

Your entire conversation feels like a dream and she almost doesn’t believe that she hears you right when you confess your feelings for her. There’s no way that the leader of her party, the Hero of the grove likes her, right? Surely you’re good friends with everyone and you’re just making your rounds. Surely your dressed up look tonight is meant for someone else. Surely there’s no way that you’re telling her that you have feelings for her and oh gods she’s an idiot for not seeing the signs sooner.

Gay panic is real my friends and Karlach is 110% a victim of it every time.

2. You’re a menace to her

You’re always putting yourself at risk for those who need it. Not a day goes by where you’re not getting your party into some sort of fight because you can’t say no. It’s one thing to help escort the Tieflings but it’s another to take out an entire goblin camp for them. Sometimes she thinks you do it only to scare her and make her blood pressure spike. Don’t even get me started on how frantic she would get if you were injured. She’d rage on everyone and take on every enemy alone if it meant Shadowheart could heal you without distraction.

But there’s another form of menacing that gets under her skin the most.

Following the tiefling party, it becomes established that physical intimacy is off the table. It’s worse yet when Dammon confirms that he can’t do anything at the moment but promises to find a solution later on. It’s hard on her to be so close yet so far from the one thing she desires the most and you make it even worse.

It started out innocently; you’d tell her when you’d go to clean up so someone knew where you were but she can’t help herself. She’d follow you to the water to keep you company most times. Keeping her back turned, Karlach likes to listen to you ramble about your day and hear you so relaxed as you cleanse your body of dirt, grim, and other nasty things. Sometimes she’d peak when she thinks you wouldn’t notice but you always do. You wink and playfully splash at her as you continue to go about your task. However sometimes upon making eye contact, you can see that she’s burning so hot you’re worried that she might combust on the spot. Her yellow eyes have scanned and committed every inch of your body to memory, further fueling her desire for you. Should she join you, the water might come to a boil with the way her engine’s flames are almost consuming her. Embarrassment is too weak a word to describe the disgusting feeling that overcomes her when she realizes she’s been caught. You always reassure her that you’re flattered and quite enjoy her affections however it does nothing to convince her.

That’s when you decide to test the waters.

Once in the shadow lands and having spoken to Dammon privately after Karlach does, you know that there’s an end in sight for this celibate relationship. It’s only a matter of finding the iron that he requires so you begin a little experiment of sorts.

Karlach is a tease in her own right and can be shamelessly filthy when she wants. The sight of her in combat alone makes you burn as hot as her but it’s when she chooses to murmur filthy things into your ear late at night that destroys you the most. The time has come for you to return the favor.

Would wearing your shirt ties looser ignite her flames? Would trading clothes with Shadowheart one night be the thing that tips the scales? Would forging clothes altogether when you’re sleeping side by side be what makes her feral?

Karlach does what she can to keep her shit together but it’s all becoming too much. She starts to burn blue almost all hours of the day as you get closer and closer to finding the infernal iron. When you finally do find it, you look at each other with astonishment and surprise.

“Did we…did we just…” the words tumble out of her mouth as she stares at it in your hands.

“Oh my gods I think we did.”

Fast forward to when Dammon has fixed her as best as he can and proposes a test to see if it worked. Karlach is practically vibrating with excitement and nerves at the thought of finally getting to touch you. Feeling your arms wrap around her and hold her as if you’re afraid she’s going to disappear absolutely melts her heart. Overwhelming joy washes over her as she clenches to you as well but something else comes over her too. A realization.

She’s touching you.

She’s actually able to touch you without hurting you.

Years of pent up desire and thoughts of pure debauchery begin to consume her mind. What was once joy quickly morphs in lust and she has to pull away from you to avoid claiming you like a rutting predator right in front of Dammon.

3. Disguise is your favorite spell

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room; sex toys are going to be difficult to get in this world. No one can convince me that you could find a strap on in the Emerald Grove or Moonrise towers. Obviously you can go without them but if you have a disguise spell on hand, why not use it???

The first couple of times you and Karlach have sex, it’s sweet and gentle. It borders love making with the way she utterly worships your body and you hers. Things do get rougher when the years of going without touch catch up to her but for the most part it’s soft and tender. Karlach wants to memorize you because she’s terrified she’s going to lose you so she takes her time. You want to ensure that she knows she won’t lose you so you devote yourself to her pleasure every night without fail.

However Karlach has this…daydream that has begun to worm its way to becoming all she thinks about it.

She wants to fuck you stupid.

She wants you babbling and sobbing with pleasure as she fucks you senseless. She wants her name to be the only thing you remember and your body to be covered in her scent, marks, seed, anything and everything that is her.

Enter said disguise spell and there you have it; the chance to make her fantasy real

[bblovetarot]

{ೀ} How can you become more balanced?

ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ Pick a Pile ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ 

. ༄ . paid readings . ༄

。°⚠︎°。follow your intuition when choosing a pile. if you're drawn to more than one pile, that's okay! you may have messages in more than one.

。°⚠︎°。tarot readings are not 100% accurate, and do not dictate your future. please keep in mind that you have free will. these readings are also general and aren't specific to one person, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't! 

Pile 1

Pile 1, it seems that to achieve more balance in your life, there's a crucial need for healing and regaining control. It appears that you invested deeply in a relationship, giving your all, but it ended in disappointment. It's understandable to feel hurt when things don't work out as desired, but dwelling on the past won't serve you well, Pile 1. Your heart and soul need healing, especially from a perceived betrayal that may have occurred. It seems you've taken on a victim mentality, finding it challenging to trust others, possibly even losing faith in the Universe or your beliefs. While setting boundaries is essential, completely closing yourself off isn't healthy. The impression is that you've victimized yourself, feeling trapped in negative thoughts and fearing sabotage from others. It's crucial to recognize that, despite the hurtful words and actions of others, you hold the power over your feelings and actions. Untangling yourself from the web of lies, expressing your emotions in a healthy way, and being kinder to yourself are essential steps. Understand that you are precious, deserving of kindness, and capable of achieving what you truly want. To regain balance, tap more into your feminine side and reclaim control from the dominating ego. Lift yourself from the ground, stand in your power, and move forward like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. Mother yourself, cutting ties with individuals, whether friends or family, who bring negativity into your life. Remember, what people say about you often reflects their own insecurities and feelings about themselves. It's time to break free from these projections and nurture the strength within you.

Pile 2

To achieve more balance, Pile 2, it's important to introduce more discipline into your life. If you've been living life without a clear direction, it might be contributing to feelings of being stuck and restless, possibly accompanied by depression and anxiety. Grounding yourself is crucial for this pile, as you seem to be caught up in your own thoughts, allowing fear to cloud your judgment. You may not be thinking and seeing things clearly, and grounding exercises can help you feel lighter. Consider tapping into faith or seeking guidance from a mentor with spiritual or religious knowledge to clear your mind. Taking things one step at a time is essential; there's no need to have everything figured out instantly. Progress may take time, but it's important to enjoy the journey and recognize that life isn't always sunshine and roses, but it doesn't mean you won't experience it. If you tend to overthink, understand that not all your thoughts are real. Establishing a routine, incorporating meditation and yoga, can ground you and keep you out of your head. While friends may be offering support, you might have closed off due to not being fully healed. Your heart desires fun, love, and connection, so grounding yourself, healing, and expressing emotions, possibly through art, can be beneficial. For this group, creativity, especially through art, seems to be a great outlet for self-expression and clearing the mind. Recognize that your heart is closed off at the moment, and to achieve balance, finding the willpower to open it is crucial. Remember the saying, "Life is happening for you, not to you," as you embark on the journey of healing and self-discovery.

Pile 3

I'm picking up on a strong message for those in pile 3. It seems like there's a significant decision on your plate that can bring about a better balance within yourself. Right now, you're rocking the masculine energy, but it's crucial to reconnect with your feminine side and strike a balance between the two. Grounding yourself is key, especially if you've been through a spiritual awakening or if one is on the horizon. This awakening is tied to a decision you'll need to make, setting the stage for a fresh start. Taking a leap of faith is part of the deal, and it's vital to make this choice from a place of balance because it feels like a major, potentially life-altering move. There's a sense of permanence, no turning back once you decide. While this decision could relate to various aspects of life, the vibe I'm getting leans towards matters of the heart for most of you. Strengthening boundaries in relationships and standing your ground is crucial. You need to hone your discernment skills when it comes to others. The decision ahead will require you to speak up, which might be a bit daunting, especially if it's not your usual style. However, your awakened self understands the truth and how things should unfold. Ensure your head and heart are in sync before diving into any situations. This reading is pretty straightforward and general, as it will manifest differently for each of you. The central theme, though, revolves around embracing compassion and expressing your needs openly, not just for yourself but also in your interactions with those around you.

[granulesofsand]

Reasons people underestimate the prevalence of RAMCOA:

Untraumatized people don’t think about trauma nearly as much as survivors

People don’t know what the signs are. Trainings are shitty when given, attendees don’t think they’ll need to use the information, and trainings offered are usually online and easy to walk away from

Mandatory reporters don’t usually follow through their contracts. This is sometimes a good thing, but it can leave room in the wrong places for endangered children

People who know the signs will ignore them. They think it unlikely, that they’re overreacting, or they just don’t notice

Survivors are quiet. Speaking up puts us in danger, and more people think of us as media material than peers

The police don’t do jack shit for us. Some stations train officers to overlook our cases, and it’s difficult to take to court if a survivor wants to. In larger cases, government works with organized criminal groups that perpetrate or do so themselves for research

We’re a test question. The only time we are brought up in psychology classrooms is if they want to nod to a DID diagnosis. Few therapists are educated and willing to take us on as clients

Abusers know how to make connections with local authority. In high control groups, members may be taught how to abuse and evade interception

All of this makes it hard to report anywhere how many survivors exist free, and the low numbers in turn make us less believable when we do report

RAMCOA includes severe religious abuse, manipulative coercion, programming, cults, trafficking rings, criminal gangs, and more. Survivors are your coworkers, neighbors, cashiers, librarians.

Signs to look for:

Ritual Abuse

History of self-harm, substance use, sui/homicidality, especially with prescribed patterns

Unusual phobias (red or brown foods, kinds of houses, churches, hospitals, fear of the dark or being alone in adults)

Aversion to or obsession with the occult/witchcraft or other faith traditions

Patterns of nightmares, aversions or obsessions with common or nondescript themes (gore, needles, bugs, rodents, monsters, babies, men or women)

Sudden or irresistible urge to relocate, recontact abusers, participate in abusive ceremonies

High pain tolerance

Repeated phrases with violent, aggressive or religious themes

Mind Control and Coercion

Unquestioning obedience of a person or doctrine

Defers to another, speaks as though scripted, frequently accompanied by another or has to ask permission inappropriate for their age

Sudden or dramatic change in behavior, hobbies, or long-standing habits

Refusal to consume media unless approved by another/without further explanation

Anxious or idealized descriptions of childhood home and family, unable to recall these things

No memory of childhood or missing years

Multiple self-states, especially in high quantities

Organized Abuse and Trafficking

Disconnection from peers, family and friends

Does not attend community events or faith services or is perpetually preoccupied with a single group

Repeated unexplained absences from work or school

Disoriented, confused or dissociated for long periods of time or without explanation

Fearful or self-persecutory behavior, especially with allusions to another person or group

Bruises, broken skin or other wounds in various stages of healing

Minors engaging in commercial sex (including CSEM or survival sex)

Timid, skittish, fearful or submissive behaviors (including when this is the norm)

Malnourished, dehydrated, exhausted or with untreated ails

Without belongings or suitable living space

Many indicators of abuses flow together, as do the events themselves. It’s common that RA and OA perps use MC to keep victims in line, and techniques are often implemented by default in abusive environments. A group using RA or MC also qualifies as OA. This is why the community acronym includes all three.

There are more discreet examples for each. It’s possible to find many symptoms of RAMCOA and have none of those maltreatments as the cause. It’s possible to have none and still be abused.

Noticing indicators in children should be followed up by alerting any available reliable authority. Children sometimes disclose using metaphors or slang words they have been taught, so keep this in mind if you work with them.

[blueprint-poetry]

for the record

“Wow. Okay.” I said when I finally made it home. I was screaming in the car alone just to keep the wheel and record straight. That was something else you insinuate- d. And I heard in that moment just what the truth is.

I ran it by the sanctuary. No, it’s not just something wrong with me. Did you forget how far He’s gone just to redeem me? I’m going.

And space, it is, because He ordered this, said, I need you to quiet down and withdraw from all of this,  we’re going into surgery. And I’m terrified— my living room floor is an operating table. It’s why I let so few through the door, and why I’ve been unable.

My past and parts played do not define me. Funny thing, it was a broken thing that renewed me. So don’t come back until you see me, and not through your eyes.

He’s looking deep where their empty wells drained me. And I am crawling but I’m crawling towards the holy. Down at the foot of the cross where they never took me, I carried my own weight and He set the record straight.

Because, no, man may victimize, that never meant I deserved it. And I don’t want to talk if that’s what you believe the truth is.

—blueprint poetry