#vvellichorr

[vvellichorr]

Brown

was never my favourite colour

But with you,

I'll learn to

love it.

So much of you,

So many hues,

How could I

ever

ignore it?

Dark brown hair, shimmers softly

in the morning sun

Soft brown eyes,

faint lines

telling a history

of laughter

Faint

near unnoticable freckles,

but I saw them

when your face was so close

and I looked at

golden tanned skin,

so beautiful touching mine

And your old, worn out

cowboy boots,

weathered with time,

Hundreds of steps, I'm sure

I wonder...

If they'll end up

at my door

or better yet

kicked off in front of it

as you walk

inside

to take this place

and make it yours

[vvellichorr]

Don't worry,

My abandonment issues knew you would leave,

Before you ever had the idea to.

I've loved fleeting moments for as long as I can remember, nothing ever stays.

[vvellichorr]

My lover, I write so often, do you ever tire of me?

I wish that you don't because you fill my life with poetry

The softness of your touch, so gentle on my side,

As I lie resting on your chest, hearing your heartbeat keeping time.

The gentleness of your arms around me, as you whisper in my ear,

Of love and wishes for the future you know I like to hear.

Your fingers entertwine with mine, as we laugh at inside jokes,

A life we live just for each other, full of joy and hope.

Every night we sleep together, limbs a tangled mess

Trying to be close as possible, as we softly reminisce

The day is done, I'm in your arms, I feel completely home.

[vvellichorr]

I've never been allowed to forget

How needy I am to everyone

How I'm "too much" and "too loud"

I've never been given permission

To take up space

So I shove myself in where I'm not wanted

Hoping someone will love me

But nobody does.

[vvellichorr]

You make me love, the love you give

The

Tiniest

Of your loving, your giving, is big.

The way you care

To reassure

The way you love me

Beyond the hurt...

I'm worthy, if you're here to say it

I'm not too much, too loud, too "me"

You burned my worth into my chest

With every beautiful, loving breath

A light within burst outside

Since your heart began to be with mine

[vvellichorr]

Sometimes... I think loving is pain

Everything feels bittersweet

Before it ever comes to an end

I think gratefulness is pain

Because the ache I feel

Knowing its all temporary

Knowing what I love, will go

Is the same ache I feel

When I am yearning for it to come

And I can't feel any difference

Between heartache and loss

Homesickness, yearning

And the delight of being with friends

The security of the job I love

I'm scared to leave, to be the one going

I'm scared I'll never find experiences

Like this, ever again, after its gone.

I'm scared to do the things I dream of

Because I know one day it'll fade

And be nothing but a memory

I desperately wish to return to.

[vvellichorr]

In everything you do, it’ll have reminded you My memory will be just out of sight When once it was such a heartfelt promise, Now an act of bloodless revenge You thought you’d finally lost my memory You wished and prayed to forget But you can’t imagine your home without traces of me You can’t go there without the flickers You lost that home the day you lost me You forfeited the love I bore For the wondrous place we shared no more When you see the snowcapped mountains When you smell the earthy breeze When you hear the birds all around I know you’ll think of me You can’t catch it, or burn, or break that I know my memory will forever linger My footsteps whisper on the paths We always took together My laughter echoes through your room From jokes I once spoke with joy My smile still brightens the dark when you close your eyes You knew the day that smile faded That you finally left home like you wanted But you thought I’d let you forget You thought that I’m gone just because I left You can’t force me out You can’t hope to believe you’ll be rid of me You wish, you beg, you pray To let go of the whispers of my touch You plead, you cry, you ache Knowing that you lost the stars and the endless sky For some fleeting, careless thing You’ll never forget me, I promised I’d be there Now its simply in your memories Bearing the revenge I deserve to see Yet I’ll never see your face in my mind But you’ll never stop seeing mine Knowing what you lost I’m in the mountains and the trees I’m in the snow and the ice I’m in the meadows and the sweet forest breeze You can’t forget what it meant to me I’ve lived a thousand lives in the songs of the birds I’ve been more than you imagined I’ve loved more than you could have guessed You wish your god would release you But I’ve become the earth and the sky and the stars And nothing can control my burning fury.

[vvellichorr]

I hope you never doubt

My heart lives within your chest

Behind your ribs safe and sound

Is where my love's at rest <3

[vvellichorr]

You asked to go on a drive.

To see the stars

Excitedly I said yes, I always want to see them

We got distracted, I got distracted

I'm sorry, we never went.

We talked, I'm extroverted, it helped

You're introverted, it drained you, it didn't help

I'm sorry, I wish I changed the way I am

I'm too much, too loud, to boisterous.

I'm sorry. I dont want to drain you

I dont know how to be any other way

I dont know how to be quiet.

I'm sorry . I'm too much. God I'm sorry. Please don't be mad, don't be drained of me...

[vvellichorr]

My xbox suggested a friend today

I saw your name, in a neat little box,

As if we never met before,

As if, for awhile, it wasn't 'just us'

I stared for a while, remembering you

Unknown that we were friends once

Like nothing ever even happened

It didn't realize how I fell for your voice

In the middle of a random sunday night

Then while I slept, you slipped away

Taking with you every trace

No see you later, or goodbye to say

Every voice clip was erased

You stole your existence from my life

But you forgot to delete me from xbox,

So I hovered over that button for an hour

Debating whether I should give you a path back to me

Whether it could go back to how it was

Eventually I clicked it, it faded off the screen

Yet I know, you remember my name

So you can find me if you want to,

Just the same as I'll always be.

[vvellichorr]

I don't know if I should be happy or ache

But I realized today, I forgot what your voice sounds like

3 years I spent loving it, in 1 year it was gone

A whisper I've since forgotten

Is that wrong?

Can I rejoice in forgetting a thing caused me so much pain

And feel a burning ache at the loss of a piece of someone that I loved

At the same exact time?

[vvellichorr]

I miss the girl you were.

I don't miss people using you as a doormat; I miss your empathy.

I don't miss people hurting you; but I miss you being loving.

I don't know why the good things had to go with the bad,

I don't know why you had to make me so, so sad.

I miss the girl you were,

I loved her.

I miss the hair you had before, when you were the girl I met.

I miss when we were best friends.

Now you're blonde and you act like a bitch

Now you're a heartbreaker and I admit mine was a victim.

I miss the girl you were, when you were soft and true.

I miss the person I loved, the one I knew.

I don't want you to be hurt.

But why must you be the one causing pain?

Can we not be soft and strong,

Can we not be tough and loving?

Can we go back to how it was before?

[vvellichorr]

A quick introduction;

Hi :)

My name is KC, I'm 24, non-binary, and I do mechanical work for a living. I'm from Alaska, but I live in the desert now, which is growing on me (very slowly).

I write a bit of poetry and just in general make emotional/heartfelt posts, along with reblogging other, similar posts from other writers/poets.

Most of it right now is sad/heartbreak centered because well, thats what I'm going thru, but that's not always how it is, much like the weather my poetry mood can change drastically depending on how I'm feeling.

For me its a lot less about how it sounds spoken, and more how it looks in text/writing format, so you'll see a lot of breaks/spaces/jumps in my posts, which is just for emphasis and pauses and feeling to come thru the work.

I'm nowhere near, and unlikely would be ever, a professional poet, but I hope you enjoy what my heart speaks 💚

[vvellichorr]

My heart, waits for you.

I don't want it to,

But it don't listen to me

My heart takes a deep breath

And tries to be patient

My mind says no,

We won't ever let him in

But my mind is scared because my heart knows

How could I refuse, if he asks to come home

How could I refuse my heart?

How could I refuse the love we shared?

Broken, scarred, scared...

It'll always be our love.

Angry, confused, sad

It'll always be what we had.

[vvellichorr]

If I've ever known anything in life

It is only just

This

Being with you

Being

Yours

And not knowing if it'll end is alright

Not being sure

Is comfortable

With you

I write poems and letters of our love

Never knowing if it'll end....

If it's simply

A beautiful dream.

But I don't mind,

So what if it is?

For who am I to question

What the universe planned?

[vvellichorr]

A friend gave me a hug today.

He asked if I was okay, if I wanted one, he said I looked like I might cry.

He was kind, he waited until we left work, until we weren't around people.

He cared, out of the sea of people who don't notice the hurt, he saw mine.

A friend gave me a hug today.

It's the first real hug I've had in awhile.

The first hug I didn't initiate, in longer.

He simply asked, and I accepted.

We hugged, and he said it will be okay, that this issue won't be the end of me.

He made jokes and made me laugh through the tears, and smile despite the stress.

A friend gave me a hug today.

And I wonder if he realizes how much it helped.