#wait i forgot about 2019 luke

[soshiharin]

magnetic moon

summary: in which harin surprises tiffany on tour

set: 10 nov 2019

word count: 2.9k

warnings: swearing and i think thats it

an: note to self: write fics while listening to white noise. i was so productive like omg. words in bold are korean. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated💐

harin’s masterlist

Harin picked up her bag, making sure she had everything she needed, before leaving her hotel room. She walked down the hallway to the elevator, shifting the poster that was tucked under her arm. She pressed the button to the elevator, waiting for it to arrive before getting on.

She soon exited the hotel, getting into the taxi that the doorman hailed for her. Tapping her foot as the driver drove to the venue, she couldn’t quell the excitement bubbling in her chest.

“We’re here,” the driver said when he pulled up to the concert venue.

Harin dug around in her wallet for money to pay him. “Thank you so much.” She opened the door, taking her things with her before leaving.

Walking to the entry of the Brooklyn Steel, Harin took a picture of the sign that had her members name on it.

“Wah, Hwang Miyoung,” she muttered, smirking, “you’re incredible.”

She walked into the building, showing the security guard her ticket before entering the main hall. When she got in, she was surprised to see that there was still space in the front. She immediately made her way forward, squeezing her way through the crowd to reach the barricade.

“Is this spot taken?” She asked a group of people that were standing by the barricade.

One of the people, a girl, turned her head to Harin. “Oh, no it isn’t. We’ve been wondering when someone would come stand here,” she said.

“Cool.” Harin moved to stand next to the girl. She put her poster down by her feet, resting her hand on the barricade.

“Oh my god, I love your jewellery!” One of the other girls complimented, staring at Harin’s rings.

Harin flexed her hands. “Thanks, one of my friends got me them.”

“Your friend has amazing taste.” That comment came from a boy.

“I’ll make sure to tell her.”

The first girl turned to fully face Harin. “I’m Samantha,” she introduced herself.

“Harper,” Harin responded, using her English name instead of her birth name.

“This is Riley–” she pointed at the other girl– “Luke–” she pointed at the boy– “Anna–” she pointed at another girl, who waved– “and Maddie–” She pointed at another girl, who was staring at his phone.

“A big group you got there,” Harin commented.

Samantha smiled. “We’ve been friends since we were twelve. We bonded over our love for K-Pop — and Girls’ Generation of course! — and we’ve been friends ever since. My bias is Hyoyeon, Riley’s are Seohyun and Yuri, Luke’s are Taeyeon, Harin and Yuri and Maddie’s are Sunny, Sooyoung and Tiffany. What about you?”

Harin smiled at Samantha, trying to come up with a response. “Um, mine changes all the time. But right now, it’s Yoona.”

“Oh my god! I forgot to mention, but she’s my bias wrecker,” Samantha added, putting a hand over her chest.

Harin continued to make conversation with the small group until the concert started. They all cheered as the intro to Run For Your Life started playing, cheering even louder when Tiffany came on stage. Harin held up her poster — it read Love you Fanny Pack —, making sure she didn’t block the people behind her.

As she watched her member perform, Harin felt herself tear up. Knowing how much Tiffany worked to be on that stage, she was so proud of her. She managed to hold herself together until she heard the beginning of Run Devil Run. She put her sign down, wiping the few tears that began to roll down her cheeks.

Focusing on Tiffany, Harin didn’t notice how Riley kept looking at her and then down at her phone. Riley showed her phone to Maddie, both of them looking at Harin again, this time with recognition in their faces.

Harin continued singing along to the songs with everyone, having the time of her life. She held up her poster again as Tiffany began to sing Magnetic Moon, making sure she’d be able to see it properly. When Tiffany went to her side of the venue, she waved her poster as she sang along, hoping to gain her members attention. Unfortunately, Tiffany didn’t notice her and instead went back to the centre of the stage. She continued to sing the song until it came to the instrumental part.

“Give it up for my dancers!” She told the crowd, causing everyone to cheer. “And for my wonderful band,” she added, gesturing to the musicians on the stage with her. “And one more time, for yourselves, thank you Brooklyn.” She bowed to the audience. When she raised her head again, she caught sight of Harin’s poster, looking down to see her member. “Oh my fucking god!” She exclaimed, genuinely shocked. “What are you doing here?” She asked excitedly.

“I’m here to watch my Fanny Pack,” Harin answered, causing the crowd to look at her, some people cheering when they recognised her, others struggling to.

“Guys, um… Oh my gosh, Harin’s here,” Tiffany announced, causing the venue to erupt in cheers. She walked to where Harin was standing and crouched down on the stage. “You should’ve told me you were here,” she complained, “we could’ve sung Run Devil Run together.”

“Babes, when I tell you I burst into tears when you sang that song, I mean it,” Harin admitted with a laugh.

“Aw, were you ugly crying?”

Harin stopped laughing. “I have dignity. I would never ugly cry in public. I’m so offended, right now.”

Tiffany squealed. “Girl, come on stage right now!” She looked at one of the security guards by the stage. “Can you open the barrier for her?”

The guard opened the barrier, letting Harin through before closing it again. As Harin walked onto the stage, she caught a glimpse of Samatha’s group’s shocked expressions, causing her to laugh. Making her way on stage, she hugged Tiffany tightly when they reached each other.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much! Oh my god,” Tiffany said when they pulled apart. She watched as the drummer passed her a microphone. “Is this why all of you have a mic on you? Because you knew she was coming?”

“Everybody knew, but you darling,” Harin told her.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Oh my god, I need to introduce you to my little group,” she said, remembering the group of friends she was standing next to.

“For those of you who can’t understand her accent,” Tiffany started, knowing that Harin wasn’t going to repeat herself in a clearer tone, “she said that she’s gonna introduce me to her little group.”

Harin rolled her eyes. “So we’ve got Samantha, Riley, Luke, Maddie and Anna,” she said, pointing at the different people, who started freaking out. “You’re Maddie’s favourite member.”

“Aw, thank you Maddie.” Tiffany put a hand over her chest. “I hope you enjoyed today’s concert, as chaotic as this ending is.” She looked at Harin. “You do know what you being here means, right?”

“I don’t, sorry.”

“We have to sing Into The New World!” Harin stared at Tiffany blankly, causing the singer to sigh. “You don’t remember the lyrics, do you?”

The crowd started laughing as Harin thought. “Saranghae and then…”

“Just Google it, oh my god.”

“Cool.” Harin pulled her phone out, searching for the lyrics to the song. “Okay, you start singing, I’ll do the harmony.”

“Okay.” Tiffany started singing the chorus, Harin joining in to do the harmony that she and Seohyun do in the studio version. When they were done, Tiffany smiled as she addressed the audience, “Okay, um… Thank you for coming to the concert today, guys. I love you so much and goodnight!” The two women bowed before walking off stage, Harin looking back to make sure that she had all of her things.

When they reached backstage, Tiffany took off her microphone and talked with the staff members. Harin hung back, standing against the wall as she took photos of her member. After finishing speaking with the staff, Tiffany went to Harin’s side, leading her member to her dressing room.

“Make yourself comfortable,” she said, switching on the light. “Would you like water or anything?” She asked, going to a mini fridge in the corner of the room. She pulled out two bottles of water, holding one of them up in question.

“Yeah, thanks.” Harin nodded, sitting down on the small couch in the room.

Tiffany nodded, going to sit down next to Harin and handing her water. “So, how’s life?” She asked, shimmying her shoulders.

“Good! Wrapped The Eternals safely, visited Harrison and when I go back to Korea, I’m gonna have dinner with Dongwook’s parents.”

“Why would you have dinner with Dongwook sunbaenim’s p–” Tiffany’s eyes opened comically wide as she gasped. “You guys are back together?” She shrieked.

Harin bit her lip, fighting a smile. “Yeah. We got together again early this year. Seeing each other so often… brought up some emotions. Anyways, today isn’t about me. It’s about this girl I know, who just performed in the Brooklyn Steel. Do you know her?” She asked, Tiffany gradually blushing the more Harin spoke. “I think I’m in a group with her, but I can’t really remember h–”

“Okay, okay, okay!” Tiffany interrupted. “You wanna change the topic, I got it,” she playfully rolled her eyes. “But thank you so much for being here,” she thanked, voice full of gratitude. “It means a lot. Seriously.”

Harin rolled her eyes. “Of course I came! I love seeing the members doing their things. It wasn’t even a question of whether I was going to come or not, you know that right?”

“Totally,” Tiffany said, giving Harin her signature eye smile. “Ah! I’ve missed you so much!”

Harin nodded, untwisting the lid of her water bottle. “It has been way too long,” she agreed. “Should we end the hiatus?” She asked, referring to the hiatus that Girls’ Generation was on.

“We should, right? It’s just not, like, the same without the members. It’s still fun, but it’s kind of lonely,” Tiffany admitted, taking a sip of water.

Harin hummed as she drank her water. “I know what you mean. I was on the phone with Yuri the other day, and we ended up just crying about how much we missed working together… But it’s also very fun, like, doing this by ourselves.”

“Yeah, it’s like… we’re in charge of it? Kinda. Like, instead of the songs being Girls’ Generation’s sound, it’s Tiffany’s sound.”

“Yeah.” Harin sighed. “As sad as it is not having the members around all the time, it’s also very refreshing. Not saying I hate them or anything!” She said, realising how what she was saying sounded. “It just has given me a lot of time to, like, get to know myself better.”

Tiffany nodded enthusiastically. “Me too! Like, I devoted a lot of time to just figuring out who I am, and what I like, and what I need to do when I feel sad. It’s like I’m being myself more instead of, like, limiting myself to make other people comfortable.”

Harin groaned. “We did that a lot. Producer’s would ask us to tone it down, which is understandable because we needed to be palatable to the general public, but we also wanted to just be ourselves. Especially because we didn’t really know who we were.”

“Yeah. I think all of us are figuring out who we are right now. Like we’ve had bits and pieces of ideas of ourselves, but now we’re going in depth and finding out…”

“The nitty gritty,” Harin finished for her friend.

Tiffany clicked her fingers. “Exactly. Like I’ve found out so much about myself and it’s great! Like this is Tiffany Young.”

“We grew up well,” Harin commented, causing Tiffany to snort.

“You sound like your mom,” she explained as she continued laughing.

Harin chuckled before remembering something. “Oh my god, that reminds me!” She picked her bag up from the floor, digging around in it before retrieving a jewellery box. “This is for you.” She handed it to Tiffany, who gasped in surprise.

“Really?” She asked, accepting the box.

“How could they let me come here without a gift for their favourite daughter?” Harin joked, mentioning how her parents see all the members as their kids.

Tiffany opened the box, gasping when she saw a diamond necklace. On top of the necklace, was a note written by Harin’s parents. She read the note, smiling softly. “This is so touching, omo.” She stared at the necklace. “This is totally my style.” Frowning, she sighed. “I’m so thankful. Seriously.”

She suddenly looked up at Harin. “Let’s go live. On Instagram. Just talk with the fans and shit.”

Harin shrugged. “Okay.”

“We should do it on your account because I feel like if they get a notification that you’re live, it’ll be like ‘What the fuck is going on right now?’, you know?” Tiffany asked, closing the jewellery box and placing it next to her on the couch. “But if I went live, it’s like’ Okay–’” she shrugged dismissively– “‘she’s live.’ Like, there’s nothing crazy about it.”

“Okay, okay!” Hair exclaimed, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “We’ll go live on my account.” She unlocked her phone, going to the app. “Where are we gonna put the phone?”

Tiffany looked around the room. “Um, let’s take those chairs–” she pointed at two chairs next to the couch that had her makeup bags on them– “and go to the vanity. We’ll have great lighting.”

The two women moved the makeup bags off of the chairs, moving the chairs to the vanity area. They sat down as Harin started the livestream, chatting amongst themselves as they waited for people to join.

“Everybody’s coming in all at once!” Tiffany noted as she looked at the screen. “This is truly a once in a lifetime event.”

Harin rolled her eyes. “I use Instagram… when I feel like it.”

“But not enough.” Tiffany giggled, before addressing the viewers again, “Hi, everyone.” She waved. “If you were at today’s show then you know Harin was too. And now we’re going live because, why not?” She smiled, crinkling her nose. “How did you arrange everything?”

“I DMed one of the dancers and just asked if she could help me surprise you,” Harin said, “and then she got everybody in on it, I guess. Thank you so much, Delia.”

“Seriously, thank you Delia,” Tiffany echoed, making a heart with her hands. She leaned forward to read some comments. “‘Harin, solo comeback when, queen?’” She read out. “A lot of the comments are asking about new music.”

Harin stared at the screen with a shocked expression. “Um, I’m not really… Like, I haven’t made any plans for one. I’m not really working towards a comeback, as of right now. I just… am focusing on acting and want to work more towards that,” she admitted.

“Okay, then, by what year will you have released more songs?” Tiffany asked. “You gotta give them something to work with.”

“Let’s say… 2021. In two years.” She decided, seeing as the comments sped up. “I’ll make sure to arrange my schedule so that I can comeback in 2021. Just for you, SONE.”

Tiffany cheered. “We have a date, people! Mark your calendars.”

They continued to talk with fans, adding Yoona to the livestream when they noticed she was commenting a lot. There were many times where they had to remind each other that they weren’t on FaceTime whenever one of them almost revealed something private. For the fans watching, it felt like a catchup session with friends.

“I have to go now,” Yoona said with a sigh after forty minutes.

“I should also get going now,” Harin echoed, checking the time.

Tiffany blew a kiss and waved. “Thanks for coming, Yoona.”

Yoona pouted as she waved goodbye to everyone. “Bye, everyone,” she said before leaving the livestream.

“This has been fun, right?” Harin asked. “But now I have to go and I think Tiffany’s also going to have to go, so… Thank you for watching this.” She turned to Tiffany. “What do you say when you end a livestream?”

Tiffany burst out laughing, much to Harin’s confusion. “Just say bye!”

“Okay, bye everyone!” Harin leaned forward as she tried to end the livestream. “Is this the one?” She wondered as she pressed a button, groaning when the camera flipped instead of ending the stream. “Bloody flipped it ‘aven’t you?” She muttered, her Goerdie accent coming out thick. “Yah, help me!” She called out to Tiffany, who was laughing at her member’s struggle. Eventually, Tiffany helped Harin end the livestream.

“It was lovely seeing you, my lover,” Harin said as she stood by the door when she had collected her bag. “Until next time.”

Tiffany stepped forward, engulfing her friend in a hug. “Until next time,” she said, squeezing Harin tightly. They pulled apart soon after. “Wait, don’t forget your poster.” She moved to fetch the poster Harin made, but was stopped by her voice.

“Keep it. To remember me by.”

Tiffany groaned. “You’re so dramatic, oh my gosh.” She waved goodbye to her member. “Bye, Harin.”

“Bye, babe. I’ll text you when I get to my hotel.”

“Please do.”

“Yeah.”

Harin walked out of the building, catching a taxi back to her hotel. Just as she promised, she texted Tiffany when she arrived at the hotel. As she lay in bed after doing her night time routine, she scrolled through Twitter, seeing all of the tweets people had tagged her in. She liked some, and retweeted some, laughing to herself when she saw a specific one.

luke’s holiday night @scrtlovesong

can’t believe i was sitting next to my queen @jangharin_ and didn’t realise it

Harin @jangharin_

Honey, I’m everywhere

Harin Commented:

@scrtlovesong: can’t believe i was sitting next to my queen @jangharin_ and didn’t realise it

tagging: @moongrlz

©️ jang harin

[dilettantereviews]

Here's my 2022 Best Of! Yup, that's right, 2022. Better late than never, huh?

Rico Nasty- Intrusive

I heard good things about Rico Nasty for years but her other projects were a little too repetitive for me to fully commit or enjoy her work. This mixtape sees her replacing her industrial rap sound with a more varied approach. She sings over drum and bass and acoustic music. If you enjoyed Princess Nokia’s Metallic Butterfly or Azealia Banks’ Broke with Expensive Taste, then I recommend this album for you. My favorite songs are Messy, Easy, and Focus on Me.

Sasami- Squeeze

After her work in Cherry Glazer and her 2019 solo debut, Sasami finally (somewhat) broke through with this album and it’s no wonder why. Mixing influences as varied as Sheryl Crow and industrial, Sasami showed us about opening up your heart or wanting to destroy someone else’s. My favorites are The Greatest and Skin a Rat.

Charli XCX- Crash

As her first proper album since 2019’s Charli, this album had a lot of expectations placed upon it since True Romance is her best received official album. Fortunately, it all worked out for her and for us. This album sounds like you are scrolling through the Dance Dance Revolution song selecting screen around 2005 with songs you don’t realize you know until you hear it again years later. My favorites are Constant Repeat, Used to Know Me, Selfish Girl, Good Ones, Baby, and of course, Beg for You. 

Beyonce- Renaissance

This album was a victory lap for Beyonce. Not that she slacked off this era, but after creating two innovative video albums, Beyonce wanted to have a more upbeat album after the pandemic. As someone who prefers her uptempos (in a fun club kid way, like Haunted, 7/11, Formation, Six Inch, and Partition instead of the stan wars “go back to Dr. Luke!!111” way), I’m here for it. My favorites include All Up in Your Mind and Pure Honey.

SZA- SOS

I have a general policy where if someone takes over 4 years to release their next project, I develop some kind of object impermanence about them. Not even maliciously, but for every Sky Ferreira (side note: This was written when we still thought Don’t Forget was a part of an era) or My Bloody Valentine, there’s a synthpop band from 2016 that stubbornly sits on the second page of my Last.FM with 189 plays. And I like SZA! CTRL got me though 2017 and 2018 but I completely forgot her rerelease and in between singles until I was preparing this review. So when I heard she was releasing a 20+ track album I was skeptical. It turned out to be great. I enjoy the developed and detailed instruments and her personal lyrics. My favorite songs are Kill Bill, Blind, Shirt and Gone Girl.

Fontaines DC- Skinty Fia

Fontaines DC had a well deserved bigger break out in 2022. I don’t really have a thing to say about this album but I like the way they mix post punk music with a mix of their own Irish culture and gothic and industrial sounds. What could’ve just been a couple of lads at the pub is a unique and informative look at the band and their culture. U2 and Inhaler are shaking. My favorite songs are Jackie Down the Line, Skinty Fia, and How Cold Love Is.

Vero- Unsoothing Interior

I learned about Vero on Popjustice… at least 5 years ago? For a while, it seemed like they would drop a single heavily influenced by Poe and disappear without a follow up or any momentum. I understand it’s hard for new artists to make things work logistically, but they even had repetitive cover art so we couldn’t just joke that there was a wait between the EP and debut. That’s why I was so confused when the album was dropped in 2022. Hailing all the way from Sweden, Vero has vocals that remind me of Shirley Manson and Kim Gordon with post punk music I heard NPR describe (someone else) with the term “fleabag-core”. My favorite songs are Sex and Me and TV shows and Exit 2.

Coco and Clair Clair- Sexy

People always say nostalgia does too much heavy lifting in music now, but the right references can truly justify the most Tweet Deck derivative works. Coco and Clair Clair, who I was very surprised to learn are from Atlanta instead of the UK, have a very retro inspired album that could’ve just been lost in the hyperpop Y2K space with everyone else but they have a different reference pool that elevates them. Hypnotic girl group whispery vocals over whispery chillwave and drum n bass beats truly take me back to the person I was in 2011-2012. If you have a Tumblr photoblog with a convoluted layout that only showed pictures and no captions, this album is for you. If you keep up with McBling depop, this album is for you. If you ever described LAMB by Gwen Stefani as a hip hop album, then this album is for you. I would recommend this album for fans of Kitty and Niki and the Dove. My favorite songs from it are Bad Lil Vibe, Pop Star, and Be With U.

Alvvays- Blue Rev

I didn’t really listen to them before this and I only knew them for the …unique spelling of their band name and a Tumblr post that heavily implied that they should be kept in 2014. Well, this album should put all of their critics to shame. This album was recorded after the band lost their old demos and instruments in a robbery and they were still able to record this album. Pairing dreamy landscapes over fuzzy guitars, Molly Rankin’s confessional lyrics deal with the unexpected nostalgia of running into your ex’s family members in public (a sort of Dan Fogelberg moment for our generation) or justifying a creative career. Besides Pharmacist and Easy on your Own, I recommend Very Online Guy, a leftfield song about male internet behaviors (a self drag, but I want to see how many men wrote about that song and the album). If you only know them from Marry Me, Archie (a song I would personally not leave in a time capsule or box set for indie pop music from 2010-2014), I strongly suggest that you give this album a chance. Fun fact: In addition to being a great meeting spot for coanchors to meet each other, Good Morning America also has a year end best of list and put this as their #1 album. A few years ago, they put the solo project of Soul Coughing’s frontman’s project. So maybe GMA is our new Pitchfork, NME, and Spin Magazine combined (side note: I wrote this before the Pitchfork reshuffle happened, oops).

Shygirl- Nymph

Shygirl has finally released her long awaited debut after releasing her stellar debut. This time, she ditches the electronic and abrasive sound of her 2018 EP and enters her Manny Santos sensual R&B era while still sounding futuristic. Firefly is a song that sounds like it was a Britney 2001 deep cut dusted off and released in 2172. Nike is my other personal stand out.

Hatchie- Giving the World Away

On her sophomore album, Hatchie continues her dream pop and shoegaze sound and expands into some darker palettes that wouldn’t be out of place on the altronica playlist. If that album transported you into a daydream, this album is a moody walk in the rain. My favorites are This Enchanted, Till We Run Out of Air, and Giving the World Away.

Soccer Mommy- Sometimes, Forever

This was sort of a new sound album for Soccer Mommy, with a little more focus on the production. Working with OPN, she had a darker, hazier, more detail oriented production. My favorites include Unholy Affliction, Don’t Ask Me, Feel it All the Time, and Darkness Forever (which gave me Portishead’s second album vibes). This album is more Madder Rose than Massive Attack but you should still give it a shot.

Momma- Household Name

Nostalgic guitar based indie rock that sounds right out of 1994. Reverb guitars, harmonics, and shoegaze pedals. Recommended if you like Siamese Dream by Smashing Pumpkins or Bully’s debut. Speeding 72, Lucky, Brave and No Stage are my favorites. 

Luna Li-  Duality

Psychedelic alternative R&B with a chamber/art/baroque pop edge. I love how she mixes her vulnerability on songs like Flower with strong guitar moments like Alone but not Lonely and What You’re Thinking. This album feels like if you mixed Kali Uchis with Kadjha Bonet. Recommended if you have only used emojis as captions.

Kilo Kish- American Gurl

Kilo Kish’s last official album was released back in 2016, but her pair of consecutive EP’s that came out in 2018 and 2019 were a more focused and cohesive electronic sound. On this album, she went back to her unique existential pop with irreverent Adult Swim vibes. With her kitchen sink production, detached vocals, and quirky irreverent sound, this album has a lot of reasons to not work but somehow puts everything together and keeps you overstimulated like a TikTok video. Recommendations include Choice Cowboy, New Tricks, and American Gurl. Recommended if you like Santigold or Imani Coppola.

Vitesse X- Us Ephemeral

Growing up, I hated electronic music. Did I listen to it or seek it out specifically? No, not in the slightest. But it was just annoying as I saw my beloved Radio Disney pop rock acts just be seen as cringe as what I call ‘unts unts’ music went on the rise. Also, I just thought the fans were annoying. Maybe it was just in my community, but there were a lot of teen DJs who just got jobs hosting or playing cultural events and sweet 16s and posting pretentious memes that made me roll my eyes. I’ve never seen a MLM girl in real life, but I’ve seen DJs talk about how school is just there to mold you and as a DJ, they can be their own boss. Also, just growing up in the teen club/4 loko/Ed Hardy era just made me think it was all try hard “OH, you’ve never been to a festival?’ stuff. But eventually, Charli XCX helped open my mind to new electronic acts while trip hop and deep house helped open me up to older electronic genres. Then I had an “if it’s retro/ironic it’s okay” mentality but now I can regularly like electronic music. That leads us to Vitesse X. Her art deco style of electronics invokes the sleek future, through her stage name and hi tech titles. Is she making a concept album about how technology was supposed to bring us together but is bringing us apart? Is it a scifi story? Did she promise us a video for each song that made a movie but she stopped and hoped we would forget about it? No! She’s making music you could hear at Zara’s, in your car, or even at a party or club. In this age of hot takes, think pieces, and more, a concept like nepobaby can go from a fun internet only in joke to a “reclaimed” term that loses all meaning. Vitesse X helps prove that sometimes, saying less really is more. My favorites are Potential Energy, Centrifuge Me, and Us Ephemeral.

Piri and Tommy- Froge.mp3

The drum n bass duo that came out of the blue and right back into it. Words is the best positive motivational affirmation dance song since Show Me Love by Robin S. I also like Silver Lining and On & on. It looks like we’re not getting a new project from them, they split up and now they’re going to ruin all of our Last.fm charts because they each get credited separately. 

They Hate Change- Finally, New

I feel like Drum n Bass has been on the rise since Princess Nokia’s Metallic Butterfly went on streaming for the last few years, but it had been kind of mixed with other electronic sounds like hyperpop or UK garage so it was an afterthought. They Hate Change overcame that. Rapping over Drum n bass, the Tampa duo helps showcase something cool and forward thinking from Florida on their label debut. I recommend them if you like Outkast or Big Fish Theory from Vince Staples. My favorite songs are Who’s Next, Little Brother, and Perm.

Foushee- Softcore

I hate to make a Mean Girls reference in 2024 (this was another review I had written in winter 2023, before I knew there was a movie adaptation of the Mean Girls musical coming out), but this album reminds me of the Halloween party scene where Cady shows up in an “ugly” costume while everyone is wearing cute costumes and she is confused. That is how this album feels for alternative R&B. While now everyone with a slowed down drum beat gets an alternative R&B genre tag, but this is truly “alternative”, mixing slinky R&B vocals over guitars and yelling. Even if it doesn’t always work (several songs are under 2 minutes), you can definitely admire the attempts. Behind SZA, Foushee is the second best R&B album from a New Jerseyan in 2022 (sorry, 070 Shake). My favorite songs are I’m Fine and Simmer Down. Listen if you want an internet poisoned pop star but Doja has gone too far for you. 

Ravyn Lenae- Hypnos

After her stellar 2018 EP, Ravyn finally followed up with her debut album and it was worth the wait. Her airy, hypnotic vocals still sound fresh and the collaborations don’t take away from the sound at all. My favorites are 3D and Venom.

Sudan Archives- Natural Brown Prom Queen

Sudan Archives made it very far on my 2019 Best of List. I would not be able to tell you a song from that album, or if she even made it on (because as of this writing it is still unpublished) but I knew she was talented and I thought her violin gave her a unique sound. This time around, she did a sonic 180 and went for a more left field mixture of sounds and had an even better album. Listen to stand out Homemaker. 

Glacier Veins- Lunar Reflection

Normally, I consider my best of list a failure if I don’t find at least one new, completely random small Bandcamp band that didn’t get reviewed from Allmusic or Pitchfork or any other major website. If they don’t have a Wikipedia page, even better! This year, Glacier Veins is one of those bands for me. If you like female fronted pop punk with a side of experimental noise pop added to it, I would definitely recommend them. 2018’s KID, 2009 Paramore, Halsey, Poppy, and Willow fans should be happy. My favorite songs are Cover Me, Here & There, Lunation, Autonomy, and Flower Moon.

Amanda Shires- Take It Like a Man

Alt country queen. Recommended if you waited for Jenny Lewis’ album for Puppy in a Truck or you enjoy feeling like you are a Sons of Anarchy character or perhaps Yellowstone. Mature alt country with great, clear production. My favorite song is Hawk for the Dove. (Side note: I wrote this way before they filed for divorce). 

Lola Kirke- Lady for Sale

Picks up where Pearl Charles left off for countrypolitian. If you thought this would be a low effort vanity project you are mistaken. Unclear if this is a pastiche or not but very unexpected country album from this British actress. Pink Sky is my favorite song. Recommended if you like Pearl Charles or Margo Price.

Honey Dijon- Black Girl Magic

A great house music DJ. Recommended if you want to keep the party going after Renaissance.

Montell Fish- Her Love Still Haunts Me Like a Ghost

I listen to an adult alternative college radio station regularly and to paint a picture of what that’s like, I can now say “wow, that Paul Simon song slaps”. Sometimes they do play younger, internet only bedroom produced artists like Claud, Kafune, Joe P, and now, Montell Fish. When I first heard the distorted bass and reverbs I was confused at how different and all out he went but this is a true EP of heartbreak and desperation. Listen if you like PM Dawn, Miguel and Steve Lacy. Pretend Lovers is my favorite song. 

Carly Cosgrove- See you in Chemistry

Nostalgia really can sell anything these days. In the DJ world, we got DJ Sabrina the Teenage DJ, DJ Ross from Friends, and DJ Seinfeld. There’s even the genre of Dariacore! Emo has a 2000’s pastiche in Carly Cosgrove, a reference I embarrassingly didn’t get for a long time. The nostalgia stops there and the rest is a solid pop punk record. I don’t really listen to a lot of pop punk/emo so I can’t compare to others in the genre but I think the vocals give the instruments room to breathe. My favorites were Rue the Day, Cloudblock, and Munck. Listen if you miss the channel 2000’s The N but at this point would settle for the era of Teennick that only replayed iCarly, Zoey 101, Drake and Josh, Ned’s Declassified, and Victorious. 

[clumsyclifford]

(bashing my head against a wall) luke hemmings  

[valenhell]

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites. 

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict.  - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no. 

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending. 

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic. 

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet. 

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will. 

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes. 

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers. 

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings. 

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it. 

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not. 

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised. 

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute. 

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable. 

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it. 

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay. 

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it. 

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

[cynergy-laughter]

Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All! Headcanon #20 pt. 1

Thank you so much @nomnomcupcakesworld for the ask! ^^

So to be honest, I first knew about Corpse because I watched Jacksepticeye play among us and Corpse was in the videos. So this is my second exposure to Corpse through his music... wow, that was a journey. But then again, I also think Marc Rebillet’s music is also a journey. Both in the best way. (May just f*ck around and do a Marc Rebillet part to this.)

Now, this will be featuring a chaotic, deep-voiced MC. Also this will be my last Obey Me HC for this year, and then I shall come back stronger in 2021!

Lucifer: He is just minding his own paperwork when he hears a deep bass beat going throughout the house. And someone was singing some sultry lyrics in a very deep voice. He thought he had confiscated the karaoke machine after Levi’s anime marathon of 2019. He was going to give a piece of his mind to whomever was singing, until he found it coming from your room... first it was WAP, now this... he opens the door and he sees you dancing around you room while singing along to the song, he didn’t know your voice could go that low, and then there were the lyrics. He didn’t know how much more he could take of this, it was like you were sending signals to him, and he could only hold himself back for so long, so he knocked on the doorway, and caught your attention. “It seems I’m going to have to soundproof your room one of these days.” You both look at each other, and you just get this smirk and he just blushes, realizing what he said and in the context of the song... “... Nevermind, just turn the music down.” Lucifer turned to leave, closing the door, and going back to his room, blushing more as he worked his way into a mouthpalm position at his desk.

Mammon: He’s walking up to your room with his latest shenanigan when he heard the song start. He opened the door as you started singing, he was expecting any voice but this voice, it was like a death metal rapper, and he was kinda into it, especially with the lyrics. He started dancing to it with you, making sure to close the door. When the song goes was over, he asked to replay the song but louder, he would never admit that he wants to go down on you to his song, especially if you were wearing knee high boots at the time.

Leviathan: An absolute Corpse Husband Stan. He loves the music and his videos, sometimes listens to his scary story videos on spooky nights or during spooky games that he doesn’t livestream. He hears the songs start and recognizes it immediately. He jumps out of his chair and runs down to your room, bursting through the door and sees you singing with a deep voice just like Corpse, Levi won’t say it, but he’s in love. He tries to record you doing it, but totally forgot to hit record because... you sound just like Corpse... but then he realizes that you’re singing the lyrics and he goes completely red and tries to escape without alerting you... but he does know he burst through the door, right?

Satan: He is wondering what you were up to this time. He goes and he sees you shaking your butt to this song and singing along. He is into it until the daddy issues part and then the luka magnotta part. That verse was hard, but he remembers there was a huge surge of cats that appeared in the Devildom all of a sudden in 2012, and now it just ruined this moment. He quietly closes the door and remembers... he has someone he has to visit... someone he’s been meaning to visit... since 2012...

Asmodeus: This kinky boi... He is into this, through and through. And he absolutely loves your deep voice, thinks it’s sexy as hell. He asks how you get your voice to be so low and loud at the same time, but poor boy can’t get his voice down enough. You can catch both you and him singing this during breakfast, harmonizing of course cause Asmo can go down to only a certain pitch.

Beelzebub: Is fascinated by this song, and he wants to learn the lyrics so he can sing it with you. It takes a few, several tries and listens to this song until he gets the lyrics down and then you said to bring out the bass in his voice. You both were an even match as far as bass range went, after all, Beel is still a growing demon. But you both are soon softly stomp dancing down the halls singing this song in the middle of the night during fridge raids, so as to not wake anyone up.

Belphegor: “CHOKE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME BUT YOU LOVE ME!” Was all he was fixated on when he heard you singing in your deep voice. After being impressed with how deep you could make your voice, he started smirking at the lyrics he heard. All while he was sleeping in the attic, and you were just vibing next to him on the bed. You apologize for waking him up, and he would forgive you if he could choke you like he hated you but he loved you.

Diavolo: He finds himself seeing you singing this song while walking through the halls of RAD. He stops you and asks what you were singing. So you only did the natural thing, you took him to the student council room and played it for him aloud, and began to sing along with good pitch and lyrical precision. Diavolo is fascinated by it, though doesn’t really know what the lyrics mean. You begin to explain the context and he a red faced, but not horrified. He laughs at the daddy issues part because... ✨R E L A T E S✨. You can find Diavolo shocking Lucifer by singing lyrics from the song. Lucifer knows you had something to do with it and glares as you walk by, hiding a grin.

Barbatos: He has already heard it from Diavolo and figured it was you. He advises not to sing it during formal events. But when you visit the castle, he caught you stomp dancing down the halls of the castle, singing the song, and he was amazed at your vocal range, the only person he heard go that bassy was Diavolo when he was truly angry, and Lucifer. Kind of imagines him grabbing onto your chains while... erm... my apologies...~

Solomon: Big Corpse Fan here, he hears you singing it and he instantly got excited, starting to sing it with you. You both start making up your own duet dance to the song and end up going viral on Deviltube, heck, Levi wants to join in on the choreography and dance with you guys! Of course, you both have solo freestyle parts in the song, and you both do Rock Paper Scissors on who gets to dance on Corpse’s verse, and who gets to dance to Savage Ga$p’s verse. You somehow win Corpse’s part best 5 out of 7.

Simeon: He saw you walking down the street with your headphones in, and caught you in a Corpse mood. He was about to tap your shoulder and say hi, but then you started singing the song and he just stopped in his tracks, imagine surprised Pikachu face with a bit of anime blush, that would be Simeon at that moment as you walked away, a deep voice with those lyrics... he was so glad Luke wasn’t with him on his walk. Wait... Luke was at the market, which was in the direction where you’re going... how long was the song you were singing? No-!

Happy New Year everyone! See you next year~! ^^

[a-dorin]

☆ one year celebration! ☆

hello all! so, i have been on tumblr with this account for years (cerca 2016) and to be honest, i kind of forgot tumblr existed! around december of last year, i posted a few marvel fics/blurbs. after watching the rise of skywalker, i decided to write my first ever star wars piece, posting it january 12th, 2019. with that date quickly approaching, i wanted to celebrate my one year! 

i just want to thank you guys for the abundance of support. i have met so many amazing people since coming back, and i can’t express how much you all mean to me. i love you. 

so, for january, i will be celebrating with thirty-one fics for 2021! the list is exclusively star wars characters, and i will include the list and prompts under the cut! 

all of the dialogue prompts can be found here! i do not personally own any of them! they were just altered to lowercase! (for my own aesthetic purposes)

jan 1st: feral 

fluff: “is this the moment that we kiss?”

jan 2nd: rey

smut: “i never thought I’d be so lucky, especially not in this lifetime.”

jan 3rd: kix 

fluff: “i think I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do.”

jan 4th: cal kestis

smut: “don’t hesitate, just kiss me.”

jan 5th: commander fox 

fluff: “you are more than you think of yourself. you’re everything to me.”

jan 6th: boba fett

smut: “i’m not materialistic. i like being happy and having lots of sex.”

jan 7th: quinlan vos 

fluff: “hold my hand.”

jan 8th: plo koon

smut: “don’t look at me like that and then feign innocence.”

jan 9th: kit fisto 

fluff: “don’t think about anything. just tell me that you love me and hold me tighter.”

jan 10th: grand admiral thrawn

smut: “are you going to kiss or keep staring?”

jan 11th: poe dameron 

fluff: “i’m tired and my bed feels so empty without you here.”

jan 12th: fives 

smut: “if you don’t stop looking at my lips without doing anything about it, i will take you right here on this counter.”

jan 13th: captain rex

fluff: “i’m asking because i’ve seen the way you look at me.”

jan 14th: bail organa 

smut: “will you love me like this forever?”

jan 15th: cad bane 

fluff: “my heart isn’t beating faster, my heart isn’t beating faster, i swear it isn’t, get ahold of yourself.”

jan 16th: anakin skywalker 

smut: “don’t pretend that you don’t feel the same way.”

jan 17th: han solo

fluff: “darling, your heart is too pure for me.”

jan 18th: obi-wan kenobi 

smut: “don’t tell me you love me unless you mean it.”

jan 19th: darth vader

fluff: “i hope you’ll never forget how much i adore you.”

jan 20th: cassian andor 

smut: “every morning you kiss my forehead before i leave for work, why was it my lips today?”

jan 21st: din djarin 

fluff: “if only you could see yourself the way i see you, because, holy shit, you’d realise how much i’ve fallen for you.”

jan 22nd: commander wolffe

smut: “the more I look at you, the more i think we need to leave.”

jan 23rd: luke skywalker 

fluff: “please just look at me while i confess, after that you can look anywhere you like, i swear.”

jan 24th: savage opress

smut: “will you stay the night?”

jan 25th: jango fett

fluff: “i shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy.”

jan 26th: cobb vanth

smut: “you keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.”

jan 27th: qui-gon jinn

fluff: “i would honestly die before i let anything happen to you.”

jan 28th: finn

smut: “how can you stand there looking like that?”

jan 29th: fordo 

fluff: “why do i feel like i’m home whenever you’re near me?”

jan 30th: lando calrissian

smut: “there’s always a place in my bed for you, i will wait no matter what.”

jan 31st: maul 

fluff: “i got everything i wanted. my everything was you.”

i will start the prompts off with a fluff piece, alternating between fluff and smut, so i will be closing with a fluff! if you have any questions, want to share, reblog, or dm me, feel free to do so! 

the thirty-one days of fics for 2021 starts january 1st, 2021! i’m beyond excited to share all of my fics with you guys! 

tagging some mutuals: @hounding-around @anakinswhore @dexthtoyounglings @xcertaindarkthingsx @fandom-gal44 @captainrexstan @catsnkooks @mother-0f-monsters @jango-fettish @littlevodika @elenamiria

[macalcord]

On the road again

The car driving Luke and Jessica arrive about 10ish when they arrived in front of Harlem's Paradise waiting for them is a brand new 2019 GMC Sierra Pitch Black, Luke's jaw almost drops as he got out the car and started to walk around the Truck."Sweet Christmas! Damn! Now this is what I'm talking about! Danny Rand I'm changing your name to Santa!" Turning to Jessica. "Baby do you see this thing? Oh Danny messed up because he's never getting this back! Oh damn I forgot I need to grab my bag from upstairs." Luke pulls out his keys to open the door for him and Jessica but he keeps looking back at the Truck. Inside the truck Danny and Trish are quietly hiding in the back seat ready to pounce on Luke and Jessica. "Hey Trish is this a good idea? I mean jumping out at too people that could punch a hole in a brick wall?? Maybe we should surprise them when they come back outside." Danny could probably survive a hit from either them but Trish can't.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

They Don’t Know You Like I Do

This is a reupload, a throwback. It was originally written in 2019 and posted on my old account calumh-excess. I hope you guys enjoy.

In the same universe as We’re Outsiders.

Sandra should be out of his league. But with a good heart and an open mind, she gives Ashton a shot. That’s all he needs.

Greaser!AU.

Enjoy my masterlist.

Support me on Ko-Fi

No one has my permission to repost this fic, including translations. All rights reserved. Copyright © be-ready-when-i-say-go. 

_________________________

When there’s a knock at the door, Ashton’s a little confused. Though, knocks are more frequent now if he has to be honest. He racks his brain for who could possibly be at the door. It’s not Luke. He had to run some errands for his parents. It’s not Calum. He’s at work; left early this morning. Calum did agree to be at the race. And unless Calum forgot his keys, Ashton is sure that Calum wouldn’t be showing back to the house. 

So Ashton finishes zipping up the boot and walks to the door. Cookie stands on the other side, grinning. Her siblings attached to her hips. He grins at the sight. It’s very common on Saturday mornings for her to show up at his doorstep, whether Calum is home or not. More often not, since Saturdays seem to have picked up at the shop and Cookie seems to be able to sneak away before the morning rush. “Know your boy toy’s not here right?”

She rolls her eyes, extending out the glass dish. “I know. I did talk to him last night.”

Ashton takes the dish; it’s heavier than he anticipated. It smells good though. He won’t lie. The deep inhale almost makes his stomach growl and his mouth salivate. “Thanks.”  They don’t need to be taken care of, but it’s nice. She always brings enough for not just Ashton and Calum, but also Luke and Michael. “One of these days I’m gonna get that recipe.”

“Oh, hot stuff, we’d have to be married for that,” she teases laughing. 

“You say that like I won’t snatch you up from Calum.”

His only acknowledgement to the tease is a smile. “Got one more in the car. Can they sit inside for a second? If you’re not busy.”

“Yeah, they can sit inside for a minute.”

Teresa, Cookie’s sister, taps Ashton on the leg on the way in. A game they seem to always play where he attempts to dodge it, but never seems to skirt out of the way fast enough. Ashton buckles a little at the motion, careful of the food he’s still holding, and drags himself to the kitchen table. “I oughta report this!”

Her brother, Curtis, settles onto the couch. He’s always been quiet. But he smiles at the exchange and settles into the cushions. Ashton leaves the dish out. He’s glad Cookie came by. He wanted to ask her for a favor and had planned to stop by her place or the diner before heading out for the race. 

The door creaks open again and Cookie walks in, heading straight for the kitchen. She doesn’t linger long on the fact that there aren’t many groceries left. She just slips the glass dishes in and prays that they can get back on track soon. 

“You know,” Cookie starts watching her sister and brother pick up the deck of cards at the dinning room table and Ashton stand in front of her. “I could get you in at the diner. My folks ain’t that bad.”

Ashton shakes his head. He knew long ago when he lost his job that Cookie could help him out. Somehow it felt wrong, felt like he would’ve been intruding. Besides, he wouldn’t be down for long. “I appreciate it. But I don’t wanna put your folks in a tighter spot. If I start working there and someone hits the roof, y’all take the hit. Not me.”

“World won’t be so black and white one day.”

“Sometimes I think I could be doing more. More than just surviving and more than just hoping for you.”

“If you got marching boots, I know how to get you in.”

It’s only a nod. They are silent, even as cards shuffle in the background. But Ashton knows, by way of the stirring in his chest, that he’s going to be asking about that march.

“Well, I ain’t mean to take up too much time,” Cookie starts, seeing the current round is coming to an end. 

“Wait before you go, can I ask you a favor?” It’s not exactly the smartest thing in the world he’s done for cash, agreeing to a race.. Though he’s smart and never gets tied up for people that race for pinks. “I need some help.”

Cookie leans back into the fridge, the white Keds on her feet matching the tile as she crosses her ankles. “Help how?”

Ashton knew he shouldn’t have promised Sandra that Cookie would’ve been there without actually asking Cookie. However, by the time Ashton managed to get home, Calum had already gone to bed and Ashton for sure was not about to call up to her house at that time of night. He was just trying to get Sandra to see that he was just a guy, not the label that people had put on him. 

“I have a race.”

Cookie nods. “If you telling me Teresa actually hit you that hard that you can’t drive no more, I oughta sign that girl up for boxing or something,” she teases. 

Ashton has to laugh with a shake of his head. “God almighty, no.”

“What’s about this race and needing help?”

“I need you to tag along. I told this girl they were cool and I just need you around so she doesn’t flip.”

It’s a heavy sigh that expels from her lungs and Ashton all but slides to his knees as he grabs onto her hands. “Please, Cookie? Please?”

“These ain’t no family affair. I’ve got my brother and sister. It’s technically illegal.” While Cookie didn’t hold too fast to the rules that governed them, she was not about to act fast and loose in front of siblings. They have fast lips. 

“I’ve never seen a race,” Teressa cuts in. She’s dealing out half the deck between her and Curtis.

“See!” Ashton says, lips rolling over as he pouts. “C’mon. Just the one solid. Please.”

“And there’s a reason you haven’t,” Cookie replies. If she gets in trouble on her lonesome is fine. Her parents will flip, they’ll give her a lot of noise. However, that was her fault. If she gets into trouble with her sister and brother around that’s a whole new can of worms. One she’d rather avoid. There’s so much pleading on Ashton’s face though. And of course it had to be a girl too. Races aren’t scary, but they can get nasty.“You ain’t racing for pinks are you? Hate to leave you stranded.”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m in no position to race for pinks.”

The house is in decent condition, but he’s between jobs and needs to find a new source of cash fast. His cars the only thing he’s got going for him. He was let off from his previous gig because the owner was worried about his rep. Not that Ashton wasn’t hard working and diligent at whatever he put his hands on. He busted his ass at work. The owner was looking at a ‘bigger picture.’ It’s bullshit if Ashton is asked. He didn’t throw a fit in front of the owner. He thought about it. He wanted to, but he didn’t want to ruin his chances. He quietly took the week’s pay and left the office. He’s got good word from this boss to another place. Ashton’s worried that his reputation is going to precede him all his life though.

Ashton finally continues, “Please, I need your help. I need the bread and she’s--she’s different, Cookie. She’s giving me a shot.” He’s totally smitten, but he wouldn’t completely admit that. Sandra didn’t exactly grow up on this side of town. None of the guys can help him out. Cookie’s his only shot.

It’s one of her few days where she doesn’t have to be on shift during the morning. She had really just wanted to hit the store to see if the hair grease she needed has been restocked and she wanted to just not think about anything until work. 

“Look,” she points over to Teresa and Curtis, “y’all gotta keep tight ships on those lips.”

“Thank you!” Ashton shouts and her siblings chorus. 

“And you,” she starts, finger singling him out.  “I beat feet after it’s done.” Cookie agrees. “But if there’s any heat, I am not hanging around.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Ashton gushes, wrapping her up in a quick hug. “And I totally understand about the cops. I’d literally do whatever to shake your trail. You know that.”

“I know.I know. You surely know how to put a girl in a pickle.”

“It’s a specialty,” Ashton returns. His grin wide. 

The kids continue their game of War before Cookie’s pulling out of the driveway first and waiting for Ashton to lead the way. Admittedly, Ashton didn’t tell Cookie that Sandra was a Soc, a Prep. But maybe she had figured it out by the way he talked about her inexperience with races. Most people would probably laugh at the fact he’s into a Soc. And he knows Cookie would never judge him, but sometimes even he felt a little shame in it. But Sandra is a saint and Ashton is in need of a blessing. 

His logic isn’t flawed, but it is a little wishful. If he wins the race, Ashton can show Sandra his world’s not all that bad, it’s not all dangerous. It has it’s danger for sure. But if he could just get her to see the good, then maybe he had proven that the labels were unjust. And it’s twisted thinking he knows. Sandra already seems him as a good person, she already sees something in him. But it’s the outside world. It was always going to be the outside world it seemed that would be in the way. It reminds of how he was with Cookie and god, it makes him feel like an asshole. He could be the first person to admit that. He would be the first to admit that. 

When they get the makeshift track, old back roads that lead to the deserted factory, Ashton spots the boys. They rush up from the dirt sides. Calum checked the car before he left this morning. But that was then and now it needs another glance, checking for holes in tires or rocks in the tracks.  

Ashton finds her, Sandra, in her red dress with black polka dots. She waves, but doesn’t make a move closer from her car. She swore to Ashton she would find a way to the race. He insisted that they could meet somewhere, but when she looked down, biting the side of her lip, he knew not to push it. He walks over, cheeks lifting into a grin. 

“I feel so overdressed,” Sandra whispers, tucking more of her hair behind her ear.

“Nah, I dig it.” It’s who she is and Ashton can’t stop the thundering of his heart. 

“You sure this isn’t an issue? Like I thought pinks would be involved and everyone here looks,” she doesn’t finish the sentence. This isn’t her crowd. She knows it; Ashton knows it. Ashton’s sweet though. Always helps her grandmother with the bags to her car. He even referred them to a great car shop. One of his friends works there, always looks out for them and makes sure to work on their car exclusively. He’s for sure a fun time, always laughing at something, always making up a new gig when there’s only her in the store and the radio’s playing a good song. But this isn’t her crowd. She’s not sure how they’re going to accept her.

“Hey, my guys are cool. Stick with them and there will be no issue,” Ashton urges. 

Sandra goes to speak, but then she notices a girl with a fro walking up to her, lips painted red. It’s a bold choice, but she wears it well. Ashton’s thankful that Cookie’s approaching. “That’s Cookie. Calum’s girl. The guy that works on your grandmother’s car. I told you she’d be here.”

Sandra nods, a smile lifting her lips. It’s a little bit more comforting to have someone else on Ashton’s side, that’s not a Greaser as company. She thinks the whole Greaser versus Socs is ridiculous, but she’s not naive to think that the lines don’t exist for everyone else. “You Ashton’s girl?” Cookie asks, knowing the true answer. But it’ll make both of them turn red and Cookie can’t pass up on that opportunity.

“Oh, no,” she mumbles as both their cheeks turn beat red. There’s a blashful glance between both of them. Ashton’s hoping Cookie’s teasing isn’t too much but he does like the sound of her being his girl. He needs to win this race, make a good impression and keep Sandra around. That’s all he wants. 

“Alright, Ms. Red, you guys are just friendly. I get it. Mind if I borrow the pretty lady for a moment?” Cookie extenders her elbow, waiting for the gentle grip to move them out the way of the race.

The touch is light and they walk up to the side of the road. Cookie can feel the nerves off Ashton’s girl. She keeps looking over her shoulders. Like she’s afraid something is gonna jump out at her. “First race?” Cookie asks.

The girl nods, ends of her hair flying up in the wind. “Ms. Red? That’s a new one.”

“What’s ya name? Maybe you’d like that more.”

“Sandra. But I like Red better. You’re the one really wearing the devil’s paint better than I ever could.”

“Then Ms. Red it is. And nothin’ wrong with a little make up.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that. I just--,”

“Don’t have a cow, sweetheart. Just kidding around.”

They reach Cookie’s car, her siblings eying the girl on her arm. They’re suspicious of every new person they meet. It took them ages to warm up to Luke, Ashton, and Michael. She can’t blame them. Every white person to cross their path has only ever spit on them. She’s praying that they don’t hold such skepticism in their heart all the time. “Teresa and Curtis, my sister and brother. Ms. Red.”

Both of them give curt nods. Cookie goes on to introduce the rest of the crew before hopping into the backseat of her car with her siblings, she sits on the edge of the door, feet planted on the seat. Curtis sits between her legs. Teresa right in front of him. “Take a front row seat,” she offers to Sandra waving to the passenger side seat. Calum leans up against her car, right behind Cookie and her siblings, his hands buried in his pocket of his work pants. The switchblade curled into his fingers.

Sandra doesn’t miss the tension. She looks up to Cookie, the fear flashing over her face. “They don’t bite. Well, for anklebiters, they don’t,” she assures.

“You’re going to regret that,” Teresa interject, lightly tapping her sisters ankle. “White people just never done us no good.”

Kids, they’ll always be honest. “Tes,” Cookie warns. The tension is still thick, but the engines roar and Sandra jolts at the sound. “Get in, Red unless you want dust on that pretty little dress.”

“Thank you.” She smiles, climbs into the car and then kneels on the seat to watch them. Another girl, from the opponent's side, stands in the middle of lanes, scarf in her hand. She holds it above her head. She holds it there for a moment. Ashton revs his engine, just get get under the guy’s skin.  “The car’s a lot louder,” Sandra comments. It’s to no one in particular. Curtis climbs to the passenger side of the back seat and stands, looking over the door.

“Ashton’s engine is souped up thanks to Calum,” he says as the rumble settles. “Nothing illegal. Just gives him more speed from the start and he can maintain it for the entire race.”

“Hey, look at my man paying attention,” Calum laughs, holding his palm straight up for Curtis to slap it. They go about their handshake, a series of slap, pumps, and snaps.  

Curtis looks up to Sandra. “We ain’t trying to be mean. We just...sissy, what’s the word? Scared, but like not scared scared.”

“Worried or maybe concerned,” comes from both his sisters.

“Concerned,” Curtis repeats to Sandra. She nods. It makes sense all things considered for them. They have to be cautious to some degree. It’s a matter of life or death. Cookie’s teasing and offering of her car makes Sandra’s less anxious though. She’s completely outside of her realm and needs an anchor. They’re nice. “Nice dress too,” he concludes. “Sissy has a skirt like it.”

Before she can express her gratitude, engines growl to life yet again and Sandra snaps her attention to the road. Ashton doesn’t press down hard on the gas; he, in fact, gives the initial lead away. He can come behind and cut to the inside on the turn. He’s not worried about a lead. He’s got a plan. He always has a plan.

Sandra grips at the door, heart thundering in her chest. “C’mon, Ash. Take him.” The words are falling from her lips before she’s even realized it. After the initial kick up of a dust cloud, she can make out Ashton sliding inside. The first turn comes up and he cuts to the inside. There’s a tap to his bumper, but he tries not to show it. Keeps a steady hand on the wheel to correct.

There’s cheering, but it’s hard to catch it over the rumble of the engines. Sandra can feel it bubbling in her chest as she wants to join in again. She wants to scream his name. She wants to let him know she’s rooting for him. As the second straight away comes up, Ashton falls back just a little. The noses of their cars keep trading places.

Her pulse quickens, veins pumping against her skin. But Ashton looks so calm as they round in for the second lap. “Leave him in the dust! Burn rubber!” Sandra screams. It feels good to let the primal shout leave her lips. Louder shouts from Cookie and Ashton’s group start to cut through the rumble. The entire side of the road is almost as big of a roar as the cars themselves.

Ashton slips in front and hauls ass, pressing harder onto the gas. It kicks up another sputter of dust. As the last straight away comes up, Ashton keeps the car going as fast as it can. He doesn’t even stop until he blows past the start line. “Yes!” Sandra cries, pumping her arms into the air. As the drivers meet, shaking hands and exchanging cash, she climbs out of car and rushes over to Ashton.

“That was incredible,” she gushes. Her heart is still racing. He notices the childlike awe lighting up her eyes.

“Aw, shucks. It won’t nothing,” he replies, cheeks warming as her compliment. That was admittedly a tame race. They can get uglier, there can be scraps. But it’s a relief it didn’t happen. He didn’t want to show her that. He’s careful to stand in front of some of the nicks on the car He knows they traded taps on the course.

“It was pretty amazing to me.” The rest of them walk over, to congratulate Ashton. Cookie, much to her word, leaves after giving her cheers. Calum follows directly behind her, wanting to make sure she gets home safe.

“We ought to celebrate!” Sandra grins, brushing her hands over Ashton’s. She notes the rings adorning his fingers and plays at the pinky ring. “My treat! I’ve got a little of an allowance. What do you say?”

Ashton, flustered at the feel of her fingers over his, nods. “But I can cover myself.”

“Nonsense, you just won! No need to spend the earnings already.”

“I can’t.” He can pay his way through the world and he for sure doesn’t want to seem like he’s too willingly to take advantage of her niceness. 

“Ice it. You’re getting a treat! And don’t think you can run off either,” she warns, walking back to her car. 

Holding up his hands, Ashton knows he’s a goner. Hook, line, and sinker, there’s nothing he can do to save himself. The smile rests on Ashton’s face makes his whole body warm. “I’m listening. No runnin’ from me, ma’am.”

The rest of his guys cheer on his victory but soon it’s wrapped up and he climbs into his car, preparing to follow behind Sandra. Down the streets, Ashton realizes that he’s going further north. The anxiety starts to hammer at his chest and his fingers tremble. God, he doesn’t need trouble. Not right now, not after such a great victory.

Staring up at the sign of the parlour, Ashton’s takes a moment to exhale. He can’t afford trouble. He won’t get into trouble. He won’t. He’s going to just go inside, get a quick treat and then go on about his day. He parks right next to her, climbing out of the car. Eyes are already burning holes into his skin. He tries to swallow that bit of panic that his chest.

The leather jacket feels less like an accessory anymore. It’s armor. He wears it so they know. So they don’t start shit. He wears it so when his shoulders fall, the bulk keeps them wide. Even if he’s not looking for a fight, it looks like he’s ready to scrap.

“What’s your poison?” she jokes as they walk in together. “Stud like you maybe it’s chocolate.”

Ashton laughs softly, shaking his head a little. “I’m actually pretty square. Vanilla’s my vice.”

“Mr. Big and Bad goes for vanilla.”

“He does. Can’t tell anyone though.”

“Secret’s safe with me,” she winks, walking up to the counter to order the shake and even a slice of something for him as well. It’s as she leans against the cool material that she notices the distinct sneer on one of the waitress’ face. It dawns on her. She’s brought him to her side of town. But they don’t know him like she does. So she juts out her chin, reaching into the pocket of her dress. She plays at the bills and finally they girl walks down.

Sandra doesn’t let her open her mouth. “Vanilla milkshake, two straws. Slice of chocolate cake if there’s any left.”

“Anything else?”

A shake of the head no and she turns around to see Ashton, smiling up at her. He digs into his pocket and finds some change before walking over to the jukebox. He looks through the selection. He could be a sap. But right now he feels like making a little scene. He slips in the coin and presses for “The Twist”. Ashton snaps his fingers to beat, looking over his shoulder to her. She leans against the counter, laughing, hair flying in the ponytail.

Ashton starts tapping his foot, shuffling closer to her. People, he’s learned, are always staring at him. He’s gonna give them a reason to stare now. Sandra is beside herself, watching him singing along, while twisting himself side to side. The only thing that matters is her smile, her laugh. Ashton likes being a bit of a goof. He likes to have fun. He knows his life has never been easy, but there’s no reason not to smile. He makes it a goal to make someone smile each day. They deserve, everyone deserves a bit of kindness in the world. He thinks himself to be lucky to give that to anyone. Sandra admires that in him. This drive to give everyone a little piece of happiness.

When Ashton slides his way up to her, holding out his head, she doesn’t hesitate to give into his antics.  They dance in the middle of parlour. She holds onto hands, bending her knees. It’s easy to twist her torso side to side. She’s never been able to do this before. To just let herself go. It’s normally so much emphasis on being a lady, being prim and proper. She’s never really ascribed to you, in a way that she wholeheartedly believed. But she was well aware of the society she was in, the role she was told she had to play.

But she didn’t have to play games with Ashton. She didn’t have to pretend. If she wanted to swear, which she never did anyhow, she knew she could. If she wanted to let her hair down, she could. If she wanted to sit unladylike, she could. She was not restricted with him. And that freedom, the vulnerability, made her fall even more in love with him. God, was she in love with him?

“Uh, you want this shake or not?” the girl behind the counter shouts. “Been waiting for forever over here.”

Sandra walks over, sliding the cash across the counter. “Sorry. Just havin’ some fun.” Another set of hands slide in around her and grab the glass and the plate. She immediately notes the slender fingers, the rings.

“Just a little dancin’ sweetheart. No need to get heated,” he says before going back to their table. He notes one shake and the two straws. “Bold, are we?” he teases, handing one to her.

“What can I say? I’m livin’ on the wild side.”

Ashton brings a piece of the cake to his lips while speaking. “Yeah, so wild your hair’s still up.”

It’s not a challenge, just a tease. But Sandra brings a hand to her hair, untwist the elastic around her hair. Her hair falls down over her shoulders as she shakes it loose. “Anything else to say, Stud?”

No, he’s got nothing else to say.  That’s the thing about her, behind her button nose and blue eyes are a curiosity, a yearning to live life the way she wants to, not the way she’s been told to live it.

Outside at their respective cars, Sandra slips her hair tie from her wrist. The bow sells it, makes his heart warm more than he’s willing to admit as she slides it onto Ashton’s wrist. “Something to remember me by,” she grins softly.

“I’m always thinkin’ about you. So it’s not hard.”

“Smooth talking there.”

Ashton brings his fingers to her cheek before tucking just a little bit of her hair behind her ears. “When can I see you again?” Tomorrow’s her grandmothers doctor’s appointment. She starts her new job the day after. He’ll be okay even if it’s just for a quick moment to enjoy her company.

“I’ll ya a ring, okay?”

He nods, “Okay.”

_______________________________________________

He knows Sandra’s grandmother’s car when it pulls into the gas station. He managed to snag this gig at the gas station. It’s not a lot, but it’s something. He doesn’t quite want to go into the factory just yet. He knows it’ll make him the most money, but he’s gonna clean up his act before doing that. She smiles at him, as he closes in on her hair. She’s still has her driving gloves on. “What can I do for ya, Ma’am?” Ashton teases, opening the gas cover.

“Fill her up.”

“How was work?” She’s a secretary at the firm in town. Not a lot, nothing to write home about but it helps out. Every cent does now for her and her grandmother. Her grandmother’s not sickly. Just getting up in age, requires a lot more attention.

“Long, just glad it’s over.” There’s a moment of silence. “Grandma wants to meet you,” Sandra says. Her voice is soft.

Ashton’s been dreading this. Her grandmother isn’t fond of people like him. Though she smiled in his face when he carried her bags, Sandra tells him that always sneered at home. Always said boys like him were no good. “Thought she hated me.”

“She likes you. Likes the man that makes me smile. But she doesn’t like how she’s never met you, according to her.”

“But once she finds out it’s me, she’s gonna blow her top.”

“No, she’s not. She won’t. I promise.” He finds that hard to believe. He wants to believe her. She seems so earnest. But Ashton knows that older people are set in their ways. He finishes filling her tank, taking the change from her fingers. “Hey, hey,” she urges, gripping his chin. “She’s gonna love you. Because you’re incredible and she just hasn’t seen that. All she’s seen is the leather jacket, the hair. She’s only heart stories. But she’s never sat down with the real you.”

“Most people don’t need to sit down with the real me to judge me.”

“She’s gonna love you.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can.” It hurts to see him pull his chin from her grasps. It’s not hard, not a jerk, just a soft turn to his head until her fingers fall from around his skin.

“How?”

“Because she don’t know you like I do. She’s gonna love you because I love you.”

His heart beats against his ribs. They’ve been seeing each other, including tucked into dark corners, for only a few months. But to say that she loves him, that’s a whole new thing. “You love me?” The question exhales from his lungs so softly she barely catches it.

With a nod, she grins. “Yeah, yeah I think I do. I know it’s only a few months, but call me young and dumb--,”

Ashton interrupts her with a kiss. “No, be young. Be dumb. We only get this shot once.” The words press against his lips. He should take his own advice. “I love you.”

Lip tucked between her teeth, she looks to the ground before glancing back into his hazel eyes. “So, my house. Saturday. 6:30?”

“Your house. Saturday. 6:30.”

________________

When Ashton stares up at the door, he swears for a hot second he might vomit. He tries to keep it down. These are his good penny loafers. He’d hate to ruin them. But there is just something in his gut that tells him that this dinner is a bad idea. It takes him another minutes to finally lift his hand to knock. There’s a moment before the door cracks open and Sandra is standing there, in a powder pink sleeveless dress, hair pulled back from her face.

“Oh is that him, dear?” Her grandmother calls, the voice far away.

It takes everything in Ashton to step through the threshold. When she finally rounds the corner, her smile falters. There it is. There’s the passing look of judgement clouding her face. “Hi, ma’am. How are you?” He asks, extending his hand.

She doesn’t reach for it. “Good, thank you.” Her gaze lands on Sandra. “Sandy, can I speak with you? In private?”

The two woman walk down the hallway and Ashton stands, right near the door. He could bolt. He could leave it behind. But he stands there, knowing the hushed whispers being exchanged are about him, are about her and him together. The voices get a little louder. He caught “not good” amongst the hurried murmurs. He knows he shouldn’t interject. It’s not his place. He steps through the living room. They’re huddled together.

“Ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude,” he starts. “But I care deeply about your granddaughter. I know the reputation that I have. And I earned it. I won’t lie.”

“You say that like I should give you a shot,” her grandmother snips.

He shrugs. “I’d like one. I’m not the type to make excuses for myself.”

“I know about boys like you. You’re scared and you’re angry. And you take it out on anyone that looks at you the wrong way. You hang out with all those other boys too, all they do is drink and get into fights. Even the girls they associate with get into trouble too. You’re kind are no good.”

“Yeah, yeah maybe I am scared and maybe I am angry. Yeah, I’m a lowlife in your eyes. But I’m the lowlife that carried your groceries to your car for a year. And I’m the lowlife that that keeps the tank full even if Sandra can’t afford it at the time. I’m greasy and not the goody two shoes you’d want for her. Yeah I’ve been in my fair share of fights and yeah I’ve put some people in serious hurt. But I’m not so bad. I’ve been you, okay? I’ve been on the other side of this conversation where you’re so worried about what others are going to think. And all you can see is the trouble I’ve been in.”

He continues after wiping at his nose with the pad of his thumb. He’s riled up. He feels like an ass. Is this how Cookie felt? He can’t change that. He does right by her. He gets her now. “I know the bad I’ve done. But I know the good too. You think me heartless. I wish I was heartless. I wish I didn’t give a shit so much about so many things. Took a friend in because his parents abandoned him. I was barely scraping by for myself, but I took him in. He needed to finish school. I didn’t. I dropped out. Had to. But him, he’s smart. He deserved a second chance. And his girl, she’s brilliant. I mean, the mind on her- I wish she could go to college. But she can’t. Her heart’s too tied to her family. Oh, and she’s Black. So it’s not like anywhere is going to give her a second chance.

“And my friend, Mike, man’s a wizard at the guitar. I mean, that man is bad at the guitar. But he hates playing in front of a lot of people. He could’ve been gone. Luke, Luke’s got some pipes. But he won’t sing unless Michael plays and because Michael doesn’t play all that often, they’re both here. They got families they care deeply about. They got families that they gotta provide for. So you can think of us what you want. You can think us all bad. But you don’t know us. You think you know us. You only know what others have told you. I really don’t mean any disrespect, Ma’am. But I just want you to consider that. Consider people are more than what you know of them.”

He looks to Sandra, who’s wearing a smile on her face. This is the Ashton she knows. Not one to hold back his tongue, one to always fiercely protect the ones closest to him. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll be staying for dinner.”

She watches the way he pops the collar on his polka dotted button up. She’s know sure where he got it. But it makes her immensely happy to know that he matched a dress of hers. His shoes are silent over the hardwood floors. Sandra turns back to her grandmother. “You always taught me to be kind to everyone, to keep in mind everyone has their own story. But you couldn’t even take your own advice.”

“I was kind,” her grandmother retorts.

Sandra shakes her head. “You know what I mean.” She hoped her grandmother would change, she thought she could get the opinion to change. But maybe her grandmother would destined to always be stuck.

“You can’t keep seeing that boy. He’s no good.”

The words mean nothing to Sandra. Her grandmother relies on her. She’s not a child. Holding on finger up to her grandmother, she races outside, finally hearing the car engine roar to life. The evening has a slight chill but it doesn’t stop her from racing to the driver side door. Ashton rolls down the window. It took him forever to even gain the courage to turn over the key in the ignition. She’s probably come out to tell him this is it.

“You didn’t have to come out to tell me. I know,” Ashton says, staring straight ahead.

“If you thought I came out here to tell you it’s over, you’re wrong.” Her voice is soft. She reaches through the window, playing at the collar of his shirt.

“What?” He’s positive he didn’t hear her right.

“She’s older. She doesn’t know you like I do.”

“But that’s your--,”

Sandra cuts him off. “I know who she is to me. But I’m an adult. I want to be with you. And she can’t stop me. Give me a minute, alright? We’ll go somewhere else.”

When her lips brush over his cheek, Ashton can only nod at her request. She walks back into the house. Her grandmother sits at the dining room table, hands clutching her cane. “You can’t keep seeing him. I forbid it.”

“Grandma, I love you. But since you refuse to sit down and have a conversation with him, I don’t think your advice is the most well informed. Now,” she starts fixing her grandmother a plate. “You’re gonna eat. I’ll be back to clean the dishes. But you just relax.”

“Where are you going? Not out with that boy, I know.”

“His name is Ashton. As I’ve told you before plenty of times.” The plates makes a soft thud on the placemat. “Eat. I’ll be back.” She puts the rest of the food up. Her grandmother watches, shouting at her that he’s no good. But no one’s perfect. And she if wanted perfection, she’d never find it. Maybe that was part of her grandmother’s problem. She craved perfection so bad, craved to fit in, to not shake the table that she never saw how unstable the table was in the first place.

“Enjoy your dinner!” Sandra shouts, throwing a sweater over her shoulders and grabbing her keys. Ashton is still waitin in the car. She climbs into the car. “Let’s drive,” she giggles.

“I got a destination in mind. Bit of a tradition. Hope it’s not too square.”

“You? A square? Never.” The drive isn’t very long. The skating rink comes into view and Ashton spies Calum’s bike still around. They still have a little bit of time. They have to go to the rink on the West side. Too many people stared at them, a group of white boys hanging around and friends with folks like Cookie and Calum. And it’s not to say they didn’t get looks on this side either. It’s not to say that Cookie’s unfortunately gotten into with a few of her own, but it’s generally safer. 

“When we’re not supposedly running a muck of the town, we’re skating,” Ashton says.

“How’d you know I was a great skater?”

“You might’ve mentioned it once or twice.” She’s mentioned it more than that actually. But it’s not like Ashton’s keeping count. It’s not like he goes home and gushes to Calum probably too much about Sandra.

The pair walk inside and grab some skates. It takes a moment of wondering before they spy the rest of Ashton’s friends. Cookie spots them first, smiling. “What happened to the red, Ms. Red?”

“Let him borrow it for the day,” Sandra returns, rushing over to help take the pitcher from her hands. The table cheers, noticing the pair.

“Thought you had a fancy dinner?” Michael questions as they settle and tie up their skates. Ashton shakes his head. Michael catches on to the sour expression. That topic is canned without hesitation. They all knew about Ash’s concerns. They’re not really shocked, if they’re honest, that things went sour. It sucks nonetheless. They had hoped for Ashton Sandra’s grandmother wouldn’t be such an issue. 

Ashton gets to his feet first and takes her hand. They step out onto the floor and she glides off. Ashton’s not a terrible skater, but he’s not the best either. She turns around and sees him pushing off hard. “Alright there, tough guy?”

He laughs. “Keep yappin’ that’s fine!”

As they come around a second time, the song shuffles. Everyone recognizes the start to Put Your Head on My Shoulder. People start pairing off. Ashton spies Calum and Cookie finally coming back out. Sandra slows into his side, fingers brushing over his. “You look as coordinated as a baby giraffe,” she teases.

“Keep talkin here, just keep on.” There’s a moment of quiet between them as the laughter dies down, gliding next to each other. A little slower than the rest of the crowd, but neither of them cares. “Sorry about being frosted back there. I just--people don’t understand. And sometimes they don’t want to. Which is frustrating.”

She nods. “I get that. I’m sorry she refuses to listen. I wish I could get through that thick skull sometimes. She means well, but sometimes she can do harm.”

Ashton stops along the wall, pulling her gently into him. “It happens. But you chose me. Over everything.”

She shrugs. “Easy choice, if I’m honest.” Ashton cups her face, fingers gently brushing over the soft skin. He’s lucky to have her. He’s lucky she chose him.

“Aren’t you worried?”

“I’ve got a lot of things to worry about. But not you.” Ashton leans in, just a smidge, lips capturing hers for a brief moment. His breath leaves him. He’s sure time is either paused or sped up but he doesn’t care. There are some wolf whistles that pass by. And both of them know it’s his friends. Sandra buries her face into Ashton’s shoulder, the heat flooding her cheeks.

“You guys are assholes,” Ashton laughs, watching Luke, Michael, and Calum pass by. The song fades out. Something more upbeat turns over the speakers. He coaxes her out from his shoulder. “Don’t mind them.”

“I mean, kind of hard not too.”

“But you got me, baby. You got me.”

Her eyes twinkle and she cups his cheek before kissing him. She does have him. That’s a comforting thought, one that makes her feel safe. As their lips part, Sandra exhales a bit breathy. “C’mon now before your knees knock and you fall.”

“You got jokes now,” Ashton hollers after her figure, skating away. “Now you got jokes. I see how it is.”

The evening is filled with too many orders of cheese fries to be healthy, too many refills for Cokes. They sing along to the speakers and Sandra laughs, hooking her arm through Ashton’s. “You didn’t tell me you could sing.”

His smile is bashful, face turning red. “You ain’t ask before.”

“The four of you ought to start a band or something,” she concludes. She’s heard the stories of Michael’s historic guitar playing. Stayed over at night, once, to listen to the four of them act a fool, singing until the wee hours of the morning. 

“Good luck with that,” Cookie interjects. “All of ‘em hardheaded. Mine especially.”

“But you love it anyway, doll,” Calum returns, kissing her temple. 

The group decides as the twilight is swallowed up by night to turn in. Outside, they split off in various directions towards their cars. “Make sure you get your red back,” Cookie hollers, trailing behind Calum. “You look betta in it anyways!”

The group howls at the comment. “Nah, baby, it’s a team effort.”

In a flash, Cookie runs up, laughing, leaving Calum to wait at the bike. “I know that’s right. Good seeing you again,” she adds on sincerely. “I mean it, too.” Since the race, Sandra’s tried to talk to Cookie more, tried to ease the tension that inevitably may not disappear completely. But they can try. “Mrs and Mr. Red,” she laughs with a wink. 

“See how she put Mrs, first,” Sandra grins. 

Ashton nods. “Yes, yes, I most definitely did.”

Ashton pulls into her driveway, staring back at the same doors that shut him out. It’s okay. That door need not ope, he concludes. Sandra stretches across to give him one last kiss. It deepens when Ashton takes hold of her face. It’s not a kiss that conveys the passion that’s brewing in the both of them. It’s not a kiss that’s light and airy. It’s a kiss that spells how desperate they are for the other to know, deep down, this is real.

As they part, Ashton pulls off one of the main rings he wears and plucks the necklace off from around her neck. Threading the chunky gold metal onto the dainty chain, he rehooks the necklace around her neck. Sandra drops her hair around her shoulders to take a look at it sitting over the powder pink to her dress. “Something to remember me by,” he explains, from his wrist, she can see the hair tie still. How did she miss that?

“I could never forget.” 

She climbs out of the car and he watches to make sure she gets inside. As the door closes behind her, she grins to herself. Making choices is scary. She knows her grandmother will not be quiet about her stance. But this is the first choice that was solely hers to make. And she’s proud of it.

[hippohead]

I was recently tagged by the wonderful @jazziergin to list my top ten female characters and today I was tagged by the equally wonderful @anderhummel to list my top ten male characters so here they all are:

Also, wait - I am absolutely going to overthink this so bare with me. Also also feel free to ignore this as I will absolutely be rambling rather than listing.

1. Ann Perkins from Parks and Recreation. This slot is very easy to fill because she is my absolute favourite character, period. My whole heart belongs to her truly and if I could go back in time, I would go back to 2009 and let the Parks writers know that she’s a lesbian (someone let me do my Operation Ann re-write, PLEASE) 2. The next one is easy as well and it’s Leslie Knope, also from Parks and Recreation. Have I expressed how much Parks means to me? Anyway, ily to my favourite blonde steamroller xx 3. This is where I get stressed? I love so many women. Help. Okay I am going to say Abbi Abrams from Broad City because I am literally her and she is wonderful and fills my heart with happiness. 4. Can I say characters from novels or are we just doing shows? I am making up the rules and I say I can so: Anne Elliot from Persuasion by Jane Austen. i love u, u pining idiot, i do! 5. And continuing with making up the rules, I am going to do movies, too: Catherine Stewart of Cutie Pies from Amy Poehler’s film directorial debut, Wine Country (2019). If you haven’t already, watch this film and then agree with me that Cath & Tammy are in love and then read my fic about it 6 & 7. Okay the next two are both from Glee and I adore them: Mercedes Jones and Tina Cohen Chang. I wish we got more and I’m grateful for everything we were given 8 & 9. Paris Geller and Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls. Paris falls into the same category as Ann in the sense that she, too, is a lesbian! or at least sapphic. ASP let me chat to you! And, I mean, Lauren Graham? Need I say more? 10. Last spot goes to Valencia Perez from Crazy Ex Girlfriend. Honestly I LOVE all the women on that show but Valencia has my heart the most (don’t worry Paula, ur right there too xx) and her s4 storyline? thank you to god (Rachel Bloom) for that amen

1. This spot belong to Kurt E. Hummel and as it should! God, I just adore him so much and I WILL get emotional if I get into it too much so I won’t but. he’s number one and that’s important. 2. I feel like a monster for not immediately putting Blaine but if I am being totally honest, number two spot belongs to Patrick Brewster in my heart. Watching Schitt’s Creek was such a special experience for me and meeting Patrick for the first time and watching his arc unfold was so very, very important to me.  3. Ok and NOW it is time for Kurt’s HUSBAND Blaine Devon Anderson. what a dummy! i love him so much! My relationship with is Blaine is this: Blaine is Mona-Lisa Saperstein saying, “I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life” and I am Dr. Saperstein saying, “I know this, and I love you” 4. For legal reasons, I have to put the ice clown himself, Ben Wyatt from Parks and Recreation, here because, like, are you kidding me? That man is the ONLY man. i love u calzone-boy xo 5. I keep splitting up the husbands and I’m so sorry but David Rose from Schitt’s Creek because he’s everything and also a mess and I love him. 6. WILL COOPER I LOVE YOU. Ok I almost forgot about Will for a hot sec but I take back what I said when I said that Ben Wyatt is the only man because there are two men and the second one is Will Cooper from Single Parents (rip to my little heart sitcom i miss you dearly every single day) 6. Mr. Darcy but SPECIFICALLY Colin Firth’s Darcy from the 1995 BBC miniseries of Pride and Prejudice. I would die for that man.  7. Chidi Anagonye from The Good Place for being a Hot Mess and relatable and listen,,, William Harper Jackson can Get It  8. I must not forget my moody diner-owner Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls. If I knew that man in real life I would simply have to shake some sense into him sometimes but alas, I cannot blame Luke for ASP’s downfalls and really what I must do is listen to my heart and my heart say ily Luke Danes.  9. I’m going to give this one to Burt Hummel because I love him. Everybody else was just playing around but Mike O’Malley was doing the most.  10. I’m running out of men so... Remus Lupin, because even though we don’t acknowledge the terf, this man has lived in my heart since the Prisoner of Azkaban book release and that’s special.

I... apologise. It’s just that when I’m given an opportunity to talk about something I love I tend to take it and run with it and, anyway, feel free to skim this or not read it at all. But here is some of my heart! I’m absolutely going to think of people I missed and stress (already: Xena! Donna Meagle! Katherine Mayfair!) but this was fun!

[prettyboyspenceee]

The New Agent - Part 2 (final)

Request: “Hey, I got an idea for a Spencer x reader story, maybe smth with more than 1 part 😅 Spencer meeting y/n at a book store/reading and they get to know each other pretty well. 2 weeks later y/n shows up the BAU as their new boss and Morgan/Luke starts flirting with her. 😅” -  @kind-im-gedankennebel

A/N: This is the second part of “The New Agent.” You can find that fic here. Make sure you read that first before reading this or somethings might not make sense. If this flops, Linda Barnes wrote this. 

Description: You had been working at the BAU for a month now and you and Spencer have been dating for about two months. You and Spencer had told Hotch and Rossi about your relationship but the team still doesn’t know. When Derek keeps flirting with you and when the team encourages it, Spencer gets annoyed. 

Character Appearances: Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Penelope Garcia, Emily Prentiss

Disclaimer: I don’t own Criminal Minds! If I did, the show would have 20 more seasons. 

(Y/N) - Your Name

(Y/L/N) - Your Last Name 

Word Count: 1,148

Posted: October 9th, 2019

---

You had been with the BAU for a month and it had already been one hell of a ride. You had an instant love connection with the team, JJ, Garica, and Emily were like the sisters you never had. Hotch and Rossi were the father figures of the team and you were extremely grateful for them. But Derek was a different story. As soon as you got to the BAU, you knew you had his attention. Any chance he got he flirted with you but you didn't mind the playful banter and if you ever got uncomfortable you knew he would stop. Derek's flirting and the team's unawareness annoyed Spencer. 

You always told Spencer that you only had eyes for him and he appreciated your reassurance but it didn’t stop him from feeling annoyed. 

---

You were sitting at your desk across from Spencer's and you felt eyes on you. You automatically knew it was Derek. 

"Morgan, if you see something you like, I suggest you take a  photo." 

"If I took a picture of everything that I liked it would only be pictures of you, (Y/N)."

You heard Spencer scoff which got everyone's attention. 

"Is there something wrong, Spence?" JJ asked, concern lacing her voice. 

 "Nothing's wrong JJ. Absolutely nothing," Spencer stood up suddenly and walked over to the break room.  You waited a few seconds before following him.

"What's got Pretty Boy's panties in a twist?" Derek mumbled. 

JJ and Emily shared a look, "You," they said in unison. 

"Me? What did I do?" Derek asked.

"It's what you've been doing with (Y/N), Chocolate Thunder," Penelope said as she walked into the bullpen. 

"(Y/N)? What does (Y/N) have to do with Reid and Morgan?" Emily asked. 

"For profilers, you sure are blind... then again, you aren't me. When I came back from my coffee run last week I heard strange noises coming from the supply closet," she said wiggling her eyebrows. 

"Oh my god? Are you serious?" JJ exclaimed. 

"Pen, are you COMPLETELY sure?” Emily asked. 

"I've never been surer of anything in my life. Except for the decision to work here," Garcia said, winking at Derek. 

Derek groaned, "Are you serious? Is no one going to tell me what is going on?" 

"Nope!" Penelope said popping the p.

--- 

You made sure no one else but you and Spencer were in the break room before shutting and locking the door. 

"Spence, what the hell was that about? I thought we agreed to keep everything on the down-low!" You said in a harsh whisper. You were shocked, Spencer wasn't the type to have an outburst of attitude. 

"Screw that!" He replied, "I hate seeing Derek flirt with you. He could have any girl he wanted but of course, he wants you, the one girl he can't have. You're my girlfriend and it infuriates me when he flirts with you." 

You couldn't help but smile as you placed your hands on Spencer's shoulders, "Spencer, I only have eyes for you. I wish you would have told me. We could tell the team right now if you want."

"I think JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia suspect us already. I don't think Garcia quite forgot the closet incident."

You slapped Spencer's arm, "What about Morgan?" You asked. 

Spencer smirked, "Since we're all going out tonight he told me that he planned on asking you out."

You gasped, knowing where he was going with this, "You little devil!" 

"Please, (Y/N). I have to get him back for the prank he pulled on me last week." 

You smiled and rolled your eyes, "Fine. Only for you." 

"You're the best." He said as he kissed your cheek.

"I know!" You said and grinned when Spencer let out a laugh. 

---

It was finally the end of the day and you, Spencer and the rest of the team went out for drinks. You and Spencer had discussed the plan beforehand and you couldn't wait to see the reactions from your team.

"Hey, I'm going to get another round. Does anyone want to come with me?" You announced to the group. 

"I'll go with you, Little Mama," Derek said. 

You saw Spencer's smug look out of the corner of your eye. Morgan took the bait. 

When you and Morgan were sitting at the bar waiting for your drinks you knew what was coming. 

"Hey, (Y/N)... Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure! What's up?" 

"Well, I know we've been going back and forth for the past month but I just wanted to ask if I could take you out to dinner one day... like on a date?" 

You sucked in a breath, "I'm really sorry Derek, but I only really see you as a friend. Don't get me wrong, I love our banter but I just don't see you in that way." 

He chuckled, "No worries, (Y/N). At least I tried." 

You laughed, "Yup! At least you tried." 

You brought your drinks back to the table. You watched as Morgan, Hotch, Rossi, and Spencer sat in a group. You knew without a doubt that they were going to try to get Spencer to make a move on you. As you watched the guys, JJ, Emily and Garcia were trying to get you to spill all the details on your relationship with Spencer. 

"C'mon, (Y/N)! Just give us a hint!" Emily pleaded. 

"Shhhh. You'll find out soon enough," you replied with a mischievous look. 

"Wait! I know that look! She's hiding someth-" JJ was suddenly cut off by Spencer. 

"Hey (Y/N), do you want to dance?" Spencer asked. 

"I would love to," you replied with a smile. 

The team watched in awe as you and Spencer danced effortlessly on the dance floor. 

"Ready for the grand finale?" Spencer whispered in your ear. 

"I'm always ready." 

Spencer grabbed your waist and pulled you into a searing kiss. You smiled against his lips as you heard a few screams of excitement coming from the girls and a, "Are you kidding me?" from Derek. 

When you two made your way back to the team you weren't surprised to see Hotch's bemused look, Derek's shocked expression, the smug looks coming from JJ and Emily, and the fact that Garcia was receiving all of the winning money from bets made. You rolled your eyes at the stack of cash she was stuffing into her purse. 

"Of course Pretty Boy gets the new agent," Derek said, clapping Spencer on the back. 

"I'm glad I did," Spencer said, his smile lighting up the entire bar. 

"I'm glad you did too," you said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

Rossi let out a groan, "We need more drinks. I've enough of young love." 

You and the team broke out into a fit of late-night laughter. You couldn't wait to spend more time with your new family.

---

[chilling-seavey]

Anything But Mine (d.s.) - Chapter One

A/N thank you for the few lovely notes so far :) here’s chapter one for your reading enjoyment!

Thursday, August 29th, 2019

"So, you're here by yourself again?"

The colourful carpet was soft under Florence's hands as she picked absentmindedly at the pattern. She looked up to concerned glances from the lady in front of her. The leader of the group stared expectantly.

"Yeah. Matt’s busy." Florence cleared her throat awkwardly, looking back down at the eight-month-old baby in front of her. Clementine looked back up at her, a plastic toy held in her mouth by her two tiny fists. The rest of the group was across the room with their significant others, preparing to leave from the day's meeting, talking happily together.

"Does he know we have Mommy and Daddy group once a month?" the lady's voice was nothing but pity and concern and it made Florence hold back tears. The leader of their little group was a recent graduate of university with a degree Child and Youth Care at the mere age of twenty-five. Cameron was patient and gentle and Florence found comfort in her presence and within her educated advice.

Florence pulled Clementine onto her lap, wrapping her arms around the baby as a way to comfort herself. "Yes. He knows." Florence said, an edge to her voice.

"He’s busy a lot, huh?"

"It’s fine. Honestly." Florence forced a small chuckle. "He’s the one who brings in the money, so I can’t really complain when he’s busy."

"But this is something that's important to you, so shouldn't he make an effort?" Cameron frowned lightly, watching as Florence focused on the carpet. The young mother sniffled, her tired mind reeling. Cameron continued, "I don't want you to think I'm prying; I just hear the stories and see how it effects you and I want to make sure you're happy."

"I'm happy." Florence said stiffly, finally looking up at her.

"Yeah?" Cameron asked, worry set in her features.

"Yeah." Florence nodded once. "I love him more than anything."

"Well let me know if you need anything. Even if you need a babysitter for a night off or something." Cameron said, touching her arm comfortingly.

"Thanks." Florence smiled softly.

"I have little brothers I don't mind shipping off for hire for a night." Cameron winked. "They need to be kept busy."

"Alright." Florence chuckled, "I might take you up on that offer."

"You have my number."

"Sure do."

The girls stood up from the carpet, the room now empty except for the two of them. Cameron held the baby as Florence got her shoes on and gathered her things. Clementine was strapped into her seat as Florence pulled on her jacket. With a quick hug goodbye, Florence left the small daycare and headed for the subway.

Halfway across the city stood an old Victorian in the heart of downtown. Florence was heading there to meet up her friends at their new house before the school year started. It was arguably a fraternity, in all sense of the word, except they didn’t have a name and the house wasn't registered with the university. What would have been Florence's second year of university was about to start the following week, meaning all of her friends, except her, were preparing their back to school things.

Florence knocked on the front door of the three-story house.

Aidan answered it with a soft smile, "Hey. Come on in."

Florence made her way into the house with the small stroller, awkwardly navigating her way past the boxes that lined the hallway. Loud music was playing throughout the house and the place was filled with chatter. Michael and Luke, Aidan's fathers, were busy putting things away in the kitchen cupboards.

Michael and Luke were like a second family to Florence; the closest to a family that showed her that they loved her at least. Once her family moved back to LA and she flew back to Canada alone in order to hide her pregnancy from her borderline abusive parents, Michael and Luke took her in and helped her get on her feet while she was pregnant. They were there for her through everything and she really owed them so much.

"There's our girl!" Michael beamed when he saw Florence approach. He walked around the island and hugged her tightly.

"How are you feeling today?" Luke asked as he folded up an empty box and set it to the side.

"We're fine.” Florence sighed. She looked around the main floor of the house, taking in the grey walls and neutral modern tones. "Nice place you got here, Ai."

A small shriek from the direction of the stairs made Florence turn. A line of boys who were all around Aidan's age were peering over the railing at them. The one who screamed was the one who ran ahead, stopping in front of the stroller that was placed next to Florence.

"Can I hold her?" he asked, his soft voice quiet compared to the loud music that was playing the floor above.

"You know you don't have to ask, Dani." Florence chuckled. He bent down and unbuckled the baby, lifting her to his hip.

"Good afternoon, little one." The boy pressed a gentle kiss to the baby's cheek, holding her securely in his arms.

Daniel was Florence's closest friend in the city. They met not long after she started living with the Clifford's; as Florence insisted on leaving the house to accompany Aidan to a party – even if she was seven months pregnant – and there she was introduced to Daniel. Daniel was the best musician Florence had ever met; being able to play almost any instrument he picked up. Along with his raw talent, he was a soft-spoken boy – an absolute sweetheart in Florence's books – and the single most gentle person she had ever met.

Between his friendship with Aidan and flourishing best friendship with Florence, Daniel was around Clementine a lot. Not that he complained; he absolutely adored children, and he offered to babysit as much as he could. It was difficult, however, as bringing a baby into the dormitories of the university was not easily done.

Now living out on their own for their second year, Aidan, Daniel, and their other four friends were free to do as they pleased. It was an important step and Florence was just as excited as the boys were.

The other guys gathered around Daniel, swooning over the eight-month-old that was in his arms. Clementine held on to the collar of his light blue button up, shrieking with giggles as Jack's tight curls tickled her nose.

"What went down at mom group this morning?" Michael asked the young mother who had a second to herself now that her baby was distracted. She sat down at the island.

"It was fine. It was couples’ group today. Everyone else had their boyfriends and husbands there and I was by myself, so Cameron talked to me about it, yet again."

"Why didn't Matt go?" Michael asked.

"He's working until 5 and then we're going out with Daniel." Florence shrugged.

"My treat." Daniel nodded excitedly.

"Have fun third-wheeling." Zach laughed at his friend.

"I got my date right here." Daniel pressed a kiss to the baby's cheek.

"That sounds nice and all, but I could have sworn I saw him at one of the frats down the street." Corbyn spoke up, looking over at them as Clementine clung onto his index finger.

"What?" Aidan frowned, looking between them.

"Yeah. He said he was pre-drinking before the move-in parties tonight." Corbyn said slowly.

"Wanna bet he forgot about dinner?" Florence scoffed under her breath.

"Did he tell you he was going to work?" Jonah asked her, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He was always the most mature one.

"Yeah." Florence shrugged. "But whatever. This isn't the FBI. We don't have to read into everything."

The boys exchanged glances but dropped the conversation anyway.

"Anyway, I should text him. We should be leaving soon. It's almost 5."

"I’ll grab my keys.” Daniel said, passing the baby back to her mother before heading for the stairs.

“I need a turn before you go!” Jack gently took the baby back from Florence, cuddling her to his chest. Clementine easily curled into him. The rest of the boys said their goodbyes and headed back upstairs to continue unpacking, leaving Florence, Jack, and Michael and Luke alone.

"You’ll call if you need anything?” Luke said to Florence as she slung her purse back over her shoulder.

"As usual." Florence smiled at him. She then turned to Jack, “I need her back now.”

Jack frowned but gently placed Clementine back in her stroller, stopping to leave kisses all over her face which made her giggle, tiny fingers latching onto his curls.

"Let's get a move on!" Daniel called, skipping down the stairs and opening the front door. Florence said her last goodbye and followed him outside. 

The late summer air was sticky and she was thankful for the sudden blast air conditioning in Daniel's silver Acura. The baby was strapped into the backseat; the stroller being able to detach into a car seat. The drive was filled with gentle conversation and quiet music, the eight-month old in the backseat falling asleep quickly. Matt had texted Florence to say he would meet them at home so Daniel headed towards the condo. Once they arrived at Florence's condo, they parked in one of her two underground parking spots. The place came with two spaces but Matt had the only car between them. This made it perfect for when guests came over. Regardless, it was unofficially claimed as Daniel's spot as he was so often over at their place.

The entire 25th floor apartment was very modern and framed in ceiling height windows that overlooked the city, a luxury the young couple was lucky to afford. With funds being sent in from Florence's twin brother in LA – without their parents’ knowledge of course – she was able to keep the condo as their own. Their dynamic worked well as Florence stayed home with the baby and Matt worked to keep his car and the food on the table while still attending university. Florence was anxious to have a job of her own but she knew when the time was right that it would happen.

Time ticked by slowly as Daniel and Florence waited for Matt to arrive home so they could leave. They waited on the couch, watching early evening TV, with Clementine sat between them. Florence’s eyes kept drifting to the clock as 5:00 passed quickly. Daniel could sense her uneasiness but he didn’t speak about it, not wanting her to make a bigger deal of Matt’s tardiness than it should have been. It wasn’t until quarter to six that Matt finally walked through the door. He exhaled deeply as the door closed, dropping his backpack on the floor.

“Hey.” he said, his classic crooked smile playing at his lips. His light brown hair was messily pushed back from his face and yet he still ran a hand through it, making his way over to the couch to press a kiss to Florence’s cheek.

“Hi.” she spoke quietly.

“Hey, Matt.” Daniel spoke finally.

“Hey, man.” Matt smiled, his gum smacking between his teeth. “We ready to go?”

“We have been for 45 minutes.” Florence narrowed her eyes up at him.

“You’re so tense, babe.” Matt laughed, walking into the bedroom to grab a sweater.

“I’m not tense. I’m kinda pissed that you told me you were working but when out and got buzzed instead.” Florence said plainly, arms crossed over her chest. Daniel shifted awkwardly beside her, scooping Clementine into his arms. It wasn’t the first time he had seen them do that.

“I finished early.” Matt shrugged, pulling his grey hoodie over his head as he came back into the living room. He turned to Daniel, a goofy smile back on his face, “Can you drive, bud? Getting here was a challenge enough.”

Florence shook her head in disbelief and got up to put her shoes on.

“Yeah, I guess I can drive.” Daniel agreed and got up from the couch as well. The drive to the restaurant was awkward; silence filling the car except for Clementine’s babbles and Matt’s phone buzzing in his hand as he typed away in the backseat.

Since they missed their reservation time, they had to wait in the lobby for a few minutes while the hostess found them a new table. Matt let himself drape his arm around Florence’s shoulders, whispering a small apology about being late, the light coat of alcohol fresh on his breath, and she forgave him with a quick kiss.

The hostess finally sat them at a table for four near the middle of the restaurant. Daniel and Florence sat across from each other with Matt between them and Clementine in the highchair on the other side. Matt drummed his fingers on the table as they looked over their menus, humming lightly to himself. Florence set her hand over his, stopping the noise.

The waitress came over to take their orders, beginning with Florence. Before she could even open her mouth, Matt butted in with, “I would love a Corona.”

“Are you sure?” Florence asked him under her breath.

“Very sure.” Matt narrowed his eyes momentarily at her before looking back to the waitress and smiling.

“I’ll have a water please.” Daniel spoke quietly to the waitress, breaking the slight tension. Florence smiled softly at him, shaking her head.

The group fell into silence for a few minutes. Florence took that time to bend down next to her chair and unzip the diaper bag, pulling out a jar for Clementine and an orange plastic spoon.

“I can do that if you want.” Daniel offered.

“You sure?” Florence held the baby food out to him.

“I’m sure she can do it herself.” Matt spoke without looking up from his phone, reaching with his other hand to sip his drink. Florence pulled her hands back and unscrewed the jar herself.

“Really, Flora, I can do it.” Daniel whispered.

“It’s fine.” Florence smiled gently, offering a spoonful to the baby who gladly opened her mouth. Daniel frowned, looking between the two young parents. Matt smiled at something on his phone, the glass bottle resting against his lips. Florence gently wiped the corner of the baby’s mouth with a napkin. How different they appeared.

Clementine smacked her tiny hands on the table, babbling happily through a mouthful of pureed peaches. When she reached for Daniel, he offered his hand to her, the light glinting off his rings and being an instant attraction to the eight month old. Florence held out another spoon but Clementine was uninterested, staring with an open mouth at Daniel. He leaned down to be eye level with the baby and stuck his tongue out. Clementine giggled, reaching for his face.

“You’re such a distraction.” Florence laughed to her friend.

“Sorry.” Daniel bit back a smile as Clementine held her tiny hand to his cheek.

The waitress came back and set their plates down. Matt looked up from his phone to eye the waitress as she walked away.

“I get it, the waitress is pretty, but at least make your gawking less obvious.” Florence grumbled into the air. Daniel picked up his glass with the hand that wasn’t claimed by the baby.

“I will when you two over there stop eye fucking each other all the damn time.” Matt waved his fork between the two friends.

Daniel choked on his water at that statement.

“Matthew.” Florence glared towards him.

Matt only shrugged, focussing at his plate, “Just saying. You two spend a lot of time together.”

“Just saying, you’re never home.” Florence retaliated. “I’m allowed to have friends.”

“Yeah. Try finding some girls to be friends with instead of clinging onto any attractive male you find.”

“Can you not be a jerk for once in your life?” Florence spat.

“I’m only saying what I feel. Isn’t that what you want? Open communication?”

Florence fell into silence, defeated by that statement, and focussed on her dinner.

“That’s what I thought.” Matt scoffed. Florence aggressively speared a piece of broccoli with her fork and popped it in her mouth.

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Matt grumbled.

“Like what?!” Florence glared at him.

“Acting like a brat now.”

Florence took a breath to keep herself calm, “Well I’m obviously upset because you insulted my literal only friend and when he’s sitting right there of all things.”

“I didn’t insult him.”

“Might as well have.”

“God, why are you always like this? No wonder your family left you here.”

A small gasp left Florence’s lips and she directed her stare to her plate. Daniel was taken back by that statement too, glancing between them with wide eyes. Florence felt tears forming but swallowed them back, not wanting to give Matt the satisfaction of getting to her. Hardly anyone spoke for the remainder of the meal.

“You can drop me off at the frat houses on your way back.” Matt told Daniel as he climbed in the backseat of his car once dinner ended.

“As you wish.” Daniel said under his breath, slowly pulling out of the parking lot. Once Matt was dropped off - leaving with barely a goodbye - Daniel headed for the condo.

“Well tonight was...interesting.” he spoke softly through the quiet car, Clementine fast asleep in the back.

“Yeah. Sorry about all that.” Florence said.

“Don’t apologize. He’s the one who was out of line.”

“I mean not really.”

“What do you mean? He was snapping at you and walking all over you all night.”

“He was not. I was being testy. I deserved whatever came back at me.”

“Flora, you can’t be serious.” Daniel let out a light, humourless laugh. “He treated you like crap tonight. Enough said.”

“He’s just stressed.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“Daniel, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

Florence rarely called him by his full first name so he knew to back off then. But he really didn’t want to, he was worried about her.

Florence stared out the window at the passing buildings and cars. She just wanted to go home and sleep it off.

“Every time I’m with you guys there’s always an argument going on.” Daniel whispered.

“No, there’s not.”

“I know you love him, and Clementine loves him, but you need to think about if this - all his parties and his constant bad attitude and his drinking - is what you want to deal with for the rest of your life.”

“How can you say that to me?” Florence turned to look at him.

Daniel’s eyebrows furrowed and he snuck a glance over to her before looking back to the road.

“You don’t understand how hard it is to do what Matt and I do. Being teenage parents. He has to work all the time and still go to school and still be a teenager and a father. I have to raise a child and...and...and do everything around the house. You can’t say that I should give up on this because Matt’s stressed. No. I’ve wanted this for too long. I’ve worked too hard to get here.”

Daniel sighed, leaning his arm on the door and rubbing his temple.

“Where do you think this conversation is going to get you?”

“Me? This isn’t for me.” Daniel retorted, pulling into the underground parking of the condominium. “I’ve known you during the time he was gone and then now that he’s suddenly back. After all the crap he put you through I’m just surprised that you still can’t see it. You two are so incredibly different and it’s bordering on toxic. You don’t want to feel alone so you let him back in your life no matter what he could or does do to you. Even ask your brother and he’ll tell you the same thing. You deserve someone who treats you so much better than Matt does.”

“You can think that all you want,” Florence scoffed, “But he’s my boyfriend. The father of my child. And if you can’t accept that then maybe you should leave.”

Florence climbed out of the car and slammed the door behind her. She took Clementine from the backseat, mumbling a thank you to Daniel for dinner, and stalked off towards the elevator.

[kinda-iconic]

it's so sad that Open Heart was once such a favourite? and now those of us who arent romancing ethan (and even some ethan romancers) are just luke warm about it. at best. I honestly don't even care. I just want raf back. a lot of us probably wont even read any chapters until we know it's good news. OH was SUCH a masterpiece in 2019 when the first book was being released and everyone was buzzing about it

It is 😔 I’m romancing Ethan and Bryce (I forgot I even was until book 2 came out), and though it’ll be nice to see MC’s friends and the LIs again... the book has lost its appeal for me. I was thinking about waiting (I still haven’t played yesterday’s MTFL either), but I know I’ll get bored and play it - though I’m not holding my breath. It used to be a really popular book, but after everything they did to Rafael, the awful representation of POC, the unfair screentime and the ‘stans’ that took things WAY too far... I think many of us aren’t really bothered with OH much anymore.

It’s sad, but there’s only so much you can invest yourself in something that keeps going wrong before you have to walk away. I’ve only ever walked away from three books: Across the Void, A Passport to Romance and Witness. I’m really hoping this won’t be the fourth.

[mewnia]

I'm just wondering, now that you've played a little of crestoria (I assume from your meme) how much your opinion of the game has changed? I remember you answered it when it was announced and you weren't very fond of yuna and vicious designs

Oh! I faintly recall answering an ask about it, yes. Let’s see, that’s easy to find. The previous ask is here!

After reading my answer from 2019, I still agree with a few things. BUT! I also disagree with my statements from before and present you with new statements. This will be a rather long post because now that I’ve experienced the game so far (to the chapter that I meet Luke) I have some thoughts. 

“I wouldn’t mind seeing what the plot is!”

I agree! The plot honestly has me hooked, I love its concept and it certainly came out with perfect timing relating to “cancel culture” that we’re having problems with today. The only downside I’ve had with it is the inclusion of previous Tales characters every now and then. I don’t like that Milla and Velvet show up for a few seconds and then just leave without anyone questioning it too much. And they never mention them again?? Not to mention they totally drop Cress the moment we think he’s dead. I don’t think Kanata’s said anything to even hint at any grievance of Cress. Leon I don’t mind, he’ll probably come back. And this next Luke plot feels like the main cast is the side cast.

Oh that Reid plot was a thing. I totally forgot about it!

I understand there are side quests to answer some of these questions, but the fact that the MAIN CHARACTERS don't think too much about it doesn’t sit right with me. 

“Character designs I’m…not too excited about?”

I agree and disagree with this statement I’ve previously said. Before I said they don’t feel unified. I still agree with this, but I’ve found it aids the overall inclusion of other franchises in the mix. There’s a huge cast of different designs, might as well do the same to the main cast. 

HOWEVER, regarding Vicious, I’ve warmed up to his design. It expresses his personality really well that I can’t see him in much of anything else. This is a very opposite feeling I have for Velvet who I think was designed solely for the purpose of “looking edgy and hot” and not actually taking into account her personality then make excuses for it in the game. So Vicious is off the hook for me. Mostly!

Yuna is still a bit on my red flag list, I haven’t gotten to know her too well. I still hate the boobs and the kimono pencil skirt. But now there’s the accent. I will be completely honest. I can’t read her lines. I’ve taken a couple French classes so I know what she’s saying, but otherwise it’s really annoying. Currently, it just feels like another way to make her sexy. 

But I now have new nitpicks. Kanata’s design is messy, I’ve thought this since day one but it wasn’t as much of a problem for me until I saw his sprites. The bandage on the hand is useless?????? “Oh it’s to cover his symbol” but Misella and Aegis have their symbol covered by their clothes and it still shows through?  I have things about Kanata. And Misella.

I. Don’t. Understand. Why Misella kept the dress from Kanata’s horrible father? Every friend I know that has trauma (be it sexual or not) gets rid of every single item or piece of entertainment--ANYTHING that person interacted with. Completely gone and avoided. I also don’t know how that trash bag of a human being saw it as attractive. It’s messy and is obviously torn apart (well actually there’s some weird kinks for that), and the only thing really keeping it together is the color scheme. If I don’t look too into it, the design is fine. But there are aspects that annoy me.

And One Extra Criticism 

This ones more of a personal preference... The game is a solid game! And I think it focuses enough on gacha stuff but not forcing it in your face. (I’m waiting until they start collaborating with other franchises, though...) My personal downside to it is that it’s a mobile game. They can’t do as much without a console, so sometimes the skit visuals are limited with what they can do. There have been a few times that I wasn’t quite sure what just happened. 

Also, the announcements popping up unannounced does not agree with my phone. I have a weak phone and weak wifi where I am... So the game can crash on me just from the announcement popping up alone. Imagine having multiple announcements in a row, too. 

And the final thing for me to say is... as good as the plot is with keeping me entertained, the combat does make it get very...boring.... The combat is fun at first! And I love seeing the different moves of different characters. But I personally hate turn-based fights, especially repetitive ones. The fact that they have autoplay and fast-forward buttons shows that they know the battle system can get boring and tedious. Boss fights are at least a little better because you’re more on your toes with trying to keep your characters alive and ganging up on damage before the next turn. But... whenever I see that there’s no story audio, I feel a little disappointed. 

But like I said, this last one is more of a personal preference than an actual criticism. 

I hope this suffices for an answer! Sorry it’s kinda long... And the last thing I want to say is that I really do like Tales of Crestoria! I’ve played it every night when I don’t get lost in Tiktoks... And it’s very fun to see the characters interact with their situations. The plot is also kind of easy for me to predict. Not in a bad way! It just means I look forward to if I’m ever surprised or they take a different turn. 

So compared to when I first heard about it to now, it really has exceeded my expectations. 

[rt8815]

Christmas 2019

Preceded by “Endings” and “Beginnings” from my Masterlist

No clever title - Your girl here is 😪

WC: 839

The party was in full swing when Spencer and McKinley pulled into Rossi’s driveway.

Attending had been a last minute decision, but Spencer felt that he needed to be around family, given recent events.

Everyone greeted them with hugs and, in Penelope’s case, Christmas-red kisses. JJ kept her distance, however.

“We’re getting there,” thought McKinley. “Slowly but surely.”

They arrived just in time for dinner, which was self-served.

“I’ll fix you a plate,” Spencer offered, his gaze briefly resting on her belly. “You should sit and rest.”

McKinley rolled her eyes playfully. When she revealed her pregnancy, Spencer grew extremely protective overnight, waiting on her hand and foot even though it was unnecessary.

“I’m not huge and immoble yet,” she argued. “I can get my own food.”

The look on his face said it all: he needed to be needed. One way to take care of him was to let him take care of her.

“Actually, my feet are a bit sore. I think I’ll go sit after all.” McKinley stretched up to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Love. Don’t be stingy with the gravy!” she chuckled.

Before she could settle down, Rossi called her over to a semi-private corner.

“Ley, I have something of yours,” he said, digging into a pocket and revealing her flask.

In the chaos of Diana’s sudden passing and the funeral, McKinley hadn’t realized it was missing. “Oh! I forgot all about that. Thank you.”

“I washed it for you,” Rossi added, also handing her a glass of champagne.

Pulling her into a hug, he whispered, “That’s really ginger ale. Congrats, Kiddo.”

“I - what? H-how did you know?”

“I’m old but I’m not senile. I mean, c’mon. Apple juice?” he snorted. “Be careful, by the way. As I recall, it’ll run right through -”

“Haha! Trust me, I know. I learned that the hard way.”

She held the hug a moment longer. “Thank you, Dave.”

The evening was a mostly quiet affair, with gifts exchanged following a stupor-inducing dinner.

The most lavish present was Rossi giving Spencer and McKinley keys to his cabin in the mountains for ‘some alone time’ since they never had a honeymoon.

“Use it while you can,” he muttered to them under the group’s teasing whistles.

Luke and Penelope bought each other the same thing - Furbo pet cameras, which McKinley had suggested to them separately - and she shoved a cookie in her mouth to stifle a laugh at their flustered expressions. The warm, fuzzy, romantic tension was palpable.

“Suck face already!” she wanted to shout at them, but couldn’t. It wasn’t that simple. They both had girlfriends. But her friends were unhappy, not that either of them would admit it.

And neither of those girlfriends, she noted, came to the party.

“I set sail on the Good Ship Garvez and I will see it make port or go down with it, dammit!”

…

“I can’t believe Rossi figured it out!” Spencer grumbled as he climbed into bed.

McKinley glanced at him over her shoulder. “He’s studied human behavior longer than we’ve been alive, silly. The apple juice gave it away too. What was I thinking?”

She shook her head at herself. “I should’ve just fibbed and said I had a headache.”

“I know Rossi won’t say anything. I just wanted us to have this for ourselves for a while,” he pouted as he lifted the covers.

“I understand. Still, we can’t keep it hidden much longer,” McKinley sighed, sliding under the sheets. “Penny’s gonna flip when she learns she’s getting a new godchild.”

Spencer's mouth twitched in amusement. “Funny how there’s no question that it’ll be Garcia.”

“As though she’d give us any choice,” McKinley giggled as she snuggled against him.

She poked his shoulder. “Hey, to mess with her - with both of them - let’s make Luke the godfather. They’ll have a built-in reason to hang out and then maybe, I dunno, nature will take its course? Plus, I trust them to raise our kid and whatnot.”

“You’re devious, Wife,” he smirked, turning his attention to her abdomen and lifting her shirt. “Mommy’s scheming, Little One. Should she be meddling in our family’s love lives?”

“Just returning the favor,” she shrugged, “since they’re partially responsible for us getting together, Husband.”

“It could backfire,” he intoned, bending to press kisses to her belly.

McKinley tried squirming away from the tickling, but Spencer had her lightly pinned.

“No fair! You know - eek! - you know I - okay, I yield!”

The tickling suddenly stopped. “No meddling,” she gasped, linking her hand with his.

“Daddy’s incorrigible, isn’t he?” she asked her tummy.

When her breathing returned to normal, she glanced at him, wondering if now was a good time to broach the subject.

“Spencer?”

“Mmm?” he hummed, marveling at the still flat planes of her belly.

“I’ve been thinking, if it’s a girl...how do you feel about Diana as a middle name?”

A myriad of emotions washed over him as he crawled up the bed to press a soft kiss to her lips.

“I love it.”

---

@illegalcerebral​ @dreatine​ @cynbx​

Sorry if I’ve forgotten anyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the list!

[amarauder]

The Chinese Calendar ♆ Percy Jackson x Reader

                                           002. the chinese calendar

PAIRING; Percy Jackson x Reader

REQUEST; You hate him because you felt forgotten; you didn’t get the credit you deserved after helping him save the world. He knows that you hate him, but doesn’t know why, so he keeps bugging you to find out. You tell him and he apologizes, and you start talking, and somehow start liking/loving each other

DATE; March 20th, 2019

GODLY PARENT; Nemesis

TIME; After the Blood of Olympus

WORD COUNT; 9821

WARNING; Betrayal, angst, bad words,

A/N; I am so so sorry this took so freaking long. I just haven’t had the motiviation to write for Percy in a while. But I hope you like this piece of crap. I feel like I kept dragging it out because I didn’t know how to end it and believe me the ending is shit. But I swear to god if i look at this thing once more I am going to gauge my eyes out. so here it is. enjoy!

REQUESTED BY; KayzeeDamPotter_fan

TRAILER; in which a girl thought a boy forgot about her after he gains new popularity.

-

Step One: Let him believe you are friends again.

Drumming her fingers against the wooden table, Y/N waited. She shouldn’t have been too surprised at Rachel’s tardiness. The Sixteen-Year-Old couldn’t remember the last time her best friend had actually been on time.

Just as she was about to check her watch again, Rachel came in with a flurry of loud apologies and loose papers threatening to fall out of her arms. “It’s fine,” Y/N said waving the apology away, “I told you the time was fifteen minutes earlier than when I planned to arrive here. So, I wasn’t waiting too long.”

Rachel snorted, “You’re lucky I have even agreed to listen to this. You know if you are caught with your plans and they are in any way dangerous to Percy, I could be kicked out of camp for just knowing.”

“I’m not planning to kill him! Just mess with him a little, I won’t even be inflicting any pain on him.”

“Wow, that makes me feel so much better! Besides, I don’t even have a problem with him.” Rachel exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air being the usual over-dramatic person she is. She knew Rachel was lying, even it only was a minor white lie. No one could not hold a grudge towards a person after they rejected them.

Rolling her eyes and flashing Rachel a look, she grabbed her plans out and laid them in front of her. She didn’t have time for her dramatics but it was still fun to tell her off. “Oh, stop being dramatic.”

Rachel scoffed but she wasn’t even looking at Y/N anymore, instead, she was eyeing the title with interest. She was certainly proud of it, it was completely original. In bright red ink, the title bared the name of The Chinese Calendar.  "I’m the one being dramatic! You are the one basically planning someone’s murder all because you didn’t get credit over something that happened almost a year ago!“

"Hey! I’m Nemesis’ daughter for a reason. It’s in my blood. I almost can’t help it, it’s just instincts. And in my defense, you would be pissed off also if you risked your life for the brat several times all for nothing. Rach, I found the Lightning Bolt, I sailed through the Sea of Monsters, I helped them get Annabeth back from the clutches of Atlas, I survived the Labyrinth, and I fought in the First Titan War. The only thing I didn’t get to participate in was when they fought Luke up in Olympus! And that wasn’t even my fault! Percy forced me to stay in the Hotel! He locked me in a spare room! Do you remember? It’s just,” Y/N sighed, sometimes she had doubts about what she had been planning. The girl knew her plan was a little extreme just because she didn’t receive the credit she deserved. But she was tired of being seen as the girl who couldn’t finish the entire task, the girl who chickened out last minute, the girl who couldn’t run with the boy from the Great Prophecy when she couldn’t didn’t even have a choice. “I’m tired of watching them being idolized by everyone else when they won’t even look my way anymore. Even though I did basically just as much.”

Rachel was silent for a moment. Her eyes were staring holes into the label of the huge wad of paper. Y/N almost thought she wasn’t going to reply until she finally looked up from the desk. From just the look in her eyes, Y/N could tell she agreed with her but something was still holding her back. “Percy still talks to you. Gods, Y/N, I’ve never seen him put so much effort into talking to someone as much as he does with you. You should see the look on his face every time you walk away or ignore him. He looks crushed Y/N. I think you should maybe just talk to him about it first. He probably didn’t know what he did. You know how Percy is, he won’t realize anything until you spell it out for him.”

Y/N closed her eyes tightly, it was hard to breathe with the ever tightening of feeling coming from her chest. The feeling of guilt.

She had a feeling this would happen, she almost didn’t ask Rachel to look over her plan because of the risk of her talking Y/N out of it. But she couldn’t let that happen, not now, not when she had already delved into her plan. “Anyway,” she said, deciding it was now or never. She had to go through with it and if Rachel didn’t agree then so be it. She didn’t need anyone, especially someone on Percy’s side. “Let’s go over it, shall we? Unless you don’t want to of course.”

Rachel looked a bit hesitant but eventually nodded. Her eyes held so much worry, it almost made Y/N nervous. But she didn’t know why Rachel was worried, it wasn’t like she was the one performing the plan.

-

Surprisingly enough, Rachel had some great ideas and had even offered advice on how to trick him into believing her. After getting Rachel’s approval of the plan, she had gone to one of her siblings to double check. She loved Rachel but the girl was too virtuous for her own good. She had a feeling that Rachel would willingly lie to get her plan to fail.

Thankfully, Monica had dutifully agreed with her entire plan and hadn’t even asked a question on who she was planning revenge on. She shouldn’t have been too surprised though. Monica wasn’t one to delve into someone’s business.

After the plan had been fool-proofed down to the very date she estimated Y/N would be finished with the last task, Y/N felt relieved. It was like she could breathe again. The worst part was over, now she could relax.

The girl sighed contently, her feet kicking a rock as the air around her got chilly. Summer was creeping up on the campers slower than she would have normally liked. But today, she was thankful for the sharp spikes of the freezing wind felt refreshing on her face. Her face felt unusually flushed, she had a feeling it was from the adrenaline from knowing that she would be starting her plan.

“Y/N!” she distantly heard a voice behind her call but not quite registering it. However, the next time she heard the call of her name she saw a girl that she recognized was frequently around Piper. Turning around fully, she stopped in her step and waited for the girl to catch up to her.

“Hey, Lacy. What’s up?”

“There’s a fight going on.” She closed her eyes momentarily, cursing on the inside. Nemesis’ Scales, why was there always a fight going on when she was busy?

“Why?”

A knowing look crossed her features as she rolled her eyes, “Patrick,” she paused at Y/N’s change of facial expressions, “Yes, your brother. Patrick tried to attack Clarisse, again.”

“He’s going to get himself killed by Clarisse, not even monsters! That boy drives me crazy.” Y/N sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “Where are all the other Camp Counselors?”

“They’re trying to get everyone to leave but no one seems to remember that Patrick is fighting Clarisse and that she’s twice the size of him.”

Lacy took off in a run and Y/N followed her towards the Arena.

Everyone in the Nemesis Cabin knew revenge was a dish best served cold, the saying had originated from their very own Mother. But instead of following in his Mother’s footsteps, Patrick, the idiot, had decided that taking on Clarisse would be a good start to his plan in order to finally get his own retribution.

As the Head of the Nemesis Cabin, one of the regulations on keeping the position was breaking up unnecessary fights. With a sigh, Y/N headed over to the center of the crowd with confident and calculated steps, making sure to give plenty of space between herself and Clarisse. No one wanted to trespass Clarisse’s personal space when she was in a fight. That was just signing off their death contract.

The crowd seemed to part for Y/N, as if everyone thought Y/N was going to take over Patrick’s pathetic excuse for a fight. It seemed that was what Clarisse hoped for that too as she looked over at the girl while her boot slowly crushed Patrick’s chest.

“Well, well, well, if isn’t Senior L/N.” Clarisse mocked her bandana swinging in the air as she looked down on Y/N’s little brother, “Is your big sister coming to save you, baby Patrick?”

Y/n rolled her eyes and sighed, she didn’t have time for this. She was already late to her class and she knew Will wasn’t one to go easy on her. She supposed she deserved it though. Plus, there was also the fact that she needed to mentally prepare herself for tomorrow.

“Grow up, Clarisse,” Y/N snarked, “It’s about time for you to actually mature. By Nemesis, act your age.”

“Well hello to you too, Jesus.”

With a quirked eyebrow, she stared at the older girl quizzically questioning what was actually going on in her mind. “I’m sorry, what?”

Clarisse rolled her eyes and scrunched up her nose as if someone had just placed dung under it, “Now you’re wasting my time, L/N. I was just implying how goody-goody you are.” [ a/n; do you guys get it or no? haha, i thought it was creative but probably not… ]

Staring at her for a few seconds as if to question her sanity, Y/N sighed and placed her hands on her hips, “Just let my brother go. Do you really want Kitchen Duty, again?”

Surprisingly, Clarisse lessened her hold on Patrick just enough for him to swipe at the back of her knee. Clarisse was sent tumbling down and Patrick quickly pressed his blade to her throat, “Ha! How does it feel to get your ass kicked by a thirteen-year-old?”

“Patrick! No!” Y/N shouted, running towards him before getting held back an invisible force. She looked behind her to see the last person she wanted here behind her. Percy Jackson smiled at her reassuringly, and went to loosen his grip on her shirt when she started to thrash around. She couldn’t let this of all things ruin her plan. She had spent the entire school year on this, but how was she supposed to pretend when her brother was about to be crushed by Clarisse? Everyone knew how quickly Y/N would fall into the grips of anxiety when a loved one was hurt. Hell, Percy had witnessed it first hand.

The horrible memory must have triggered her anxiety as she only started to flail about more. Attempting to wrestle out of his grip, she growled as he gripped her shoulder with his other hand. “Wow, wow, wow, calm down, tiny nightmare.”

Rolling her eyes at the smirking boy in front of her, she hit him in the gut causing him to back away from her with a belch. “I told you not to call me that, Jackson.” She had a feeling that Step One was going to be a little harder than she had anticipated.

Clarisse was now turned towards her with her boot resting on top of Patrick’s chest again. She wondered how she had gotten him held down so quickly, especially since she had only been talking to Percy for a few seconds. Her heart hammered in her chest as she ran towards Clarisse blindly.

Y/N hadn’t been a chosen demi-god, one who had their very own weapon. She liked to be able to use anything and turn it into a weapon. The item could be a blade of grass to a mascara wand and she could figure out a way to injure her opponent with it.

Her original plan had been to just tackle Clarisse down to the floor, but it seemed Clarisse had also become aware of her presence-something Y/N hadn’t considered. Just as she was about to jump, she somehow stopped herself. Everyone knew by now, Clarisse’s electric spear could stop traffic.

She slid on the floor and grabbed a rather pointy rock. It wouldn’t do much, but it was better than dust. However, before she could do any damage, a piercing scream hit her ears. The second the sound hit her ears she wanted to throw up. The sound was nauseating, but the worst part was the familiarity of the scream.

Spinning around so quickly Y/N had to shake off any dizziness she felt. Her mind was in a flurry coming up with the worst case scenarios, but none of them could have prepared them for this. Clarisse’s spear was stuck in Patrick’s leg.

She was falling.

Arms picked her up.

Chiron was shouting.

Someone was guiding her towards the infirmary.

She was trembling.

Dust was picking up with each step.

People were staring.

Patrick was screaming.

-

It was weird how sometimes everything would melt into a blur. How memories would melt together until it would all become one, or how Y/N would catch herself walking and end up somewhere when she didn’t even know how she had gotten there.

“He’ll be alright,” Will said from next to her, she almost jumped. Y/N had forgotten he was there. “You should be thankful Percy was there, otherwise I don’t think Patrick would still have his leg.”

Y/N nodded, her heart was still hammering and the guilt was getting stronger every second. How was she supposed to keep a level head and continue on with her plan even though she knew she owed him he sanity. Y/N didn’t want to know what would happen to her if she had to watch her brother suffer through the loss of a leg.

“Percy wants to talk to you, by the way. I’ll let him in once you’re ready.” Will said as he stood up to leave. He still had some of Patrick’s blood on his clothes. He knew Y/N wouldn’t answer. The poor girl had been staring blankly for the past four hours.

“I’m ready,” Y/N said once she heard the door squeak open, her head turned towards Will. He was more surprised to see her eyes looking at him than hearing him talk to her. “You can let him in if you change. Blood isn’t a good look for you.”

It was silent for a little bit, both of them just staring at each other, trying to gauge what the other’s next move was. It was only when a hint of a smirk landed on Y/N’s features that Will knew it was okay to laugh and boy he did. If only it wasn’t a nervous laugh.

-

She heard him before she saw him. Percy looked exhausted, his hair was disheveled and his eyes were lidded. His yawn only further proved it. Somehow that didn’t stop him from being an ass.

He sat down next to her, clumsily. The boy was not nimble whatsoever, the one flaw she could

“Thank you,” Y/N said quietly, her fingers were playing with a necklace wound around her neck, “I don’t know what I would have done if Patrick would have lost his leg.”

She felt Percy’s gaze on her but didn’t move her gaze from a girl and a boy playing tag. She wanted to continue, to really show how thankful she was but the stubborn part of her was stopping herself from saying anymore.

“So this is all I have to do for you to talk to me? I just have to save your little brother.” Percy scoffed and shook his head. Y/N decided it might be a good idea to meet his gaze. “Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind.”

However, the second he looked at her Y/N turned away. Her heart was beating too fast, everything was just too fast. Her plan was going to fail. How was she going to be able to continue on when she owed him so much? All that time wasted planning revenge she didn’t even get to start. It was almost making her mad, the fact that he had the ability to change her mind in a second. Her brother couldn’t even succeed in that department. What gave him the right to be able to do that? Nemesis, she had never wanted to hit more than now. “Don’t thank me either. Poseidon knows how many times you have saved me. It’s only right for me to repay you somehow.”

She felt like she had been slapped in the face, as if someone had chosen a cruel way to get her out of a daydream. Her Father used to have moments like these, were reality struck him all at once. It seemed the gene had been passed down to her. She could continue on with her plan. Afterall, a leg can’t even compare to a life. Can it?

She felt kind of guilty continuing on with her plan at a time like this. Especially, deciding to start her first step, but she didn’t know if she would ever be able to have this oppurtunity with him again. Percy was slowly opening up and becoming emotional. What better way to build a ‘new friendship’ than sympathizing with him and maybe asking for a new start. But that was only if she was feeling risky.

“You finally got tired of it, didn’t you?”

Percy looked up shocked, he looked like he was trying to guage what she was thinking at the moment but she didn’t give him the time of day. She couldn’t not when she could easily give in and spill her secrets. Rachel had sugested that, but that only fueled her fire. The need to prove Rachel wrong was more important that her morals at the moment.

In fact the way he was looking at her was irritating. Almost like ants were crawling all over her body but there was nothing she could do to swat them.

“Got tired of what?”

“Got tired of me ignoring you.”

Percy shrugged, “I think I was just shocked that you actually talked to me and not in a condescending way.”

Y/N tried to keep her giggles inside, but they managed to get out somehow. She knew she shouldn’t have started laughing. It was just one of those situations, like a funeral or a test where you knew you shouldn’t be laughing, but she couldn’t help it. Percy started to laugh too which only made her laugh harder. She was rather confused on what they were even laughing at in the first place. His comment was more sad than funny.

Once they finally calmed down, and Y/N was breathing evenly enough to speak, she spoke. “Why were you laughing?”

“I can’t help it, your laugh is so contagious. Even your smile is, you smile with your eyes and it’s hard not to smile back.”

Looking at him weirdly, she wondered what the hell he was babbling on about. But it seemed Percy didn’t know either as he resembled a putter fish about to blow. She didn’t have the heart to ask him what he meant. Y/N didn’t want to make his ears redder than they already were, she had her fair share of experiences with Valdez. Flirting and blushing didn’t mix well with the poor boy.

“Umm, thanks.” She saw Percy nod in her peripheral vision, but his posture was too stiff to be comfortable while nodding. She was surprised he didn’t pull a muscle when he moved his head. Looking back on it, Y/N almost wished he did, then maybe her plan would have actually succeeded.

“I’m sorry.”

“About what?” he asked, he was looking where she had been earlier. The two children had changed games and were now playing leapfrog.

She sighed, this was a lot harder than she had thought. How could she apologize for something, when she didn’t even know what she had done wrong. “For everything, I shouldn’t have treated you that way, especially after all we had experienced together.”

“It’s alright. I suppose I understand. Annie had put it in perspective for me.”

He was such an idiot.

The apology had been going so well. Then he had to mention her. Y/N had liked Annabeth Chase before the incident, in fact they had been good friends. But then she just had to start rubbing it in Y/N’s face, about how she had 'chickened out’ and how she just couldn’t keep up with the rest of them. It boiled Y/N’s blood to no end.

Taking in a deep breath, she attempted to calm herself down. Y/N couldn’t lose her temper now. Not when she was so ready to start her plan. “That’s good.” Y/N choked out, her voice sounded hoarse and Y/N was praying that Percy didn’t notice.

She felt her nails dug into her palms as she tried to think of what to say to make this situation better. She opened her mouth right when Percy did, causing them both to start chuckling awkwardly.

“You go first,” Percy said with a gesture.

Y/N shook her head, she did not want to go first. It was like confessing your secret crush to the person you liked, it could go both ways. You could either get rejected or be in a relationship with the person you want to be with. But instead, Y/N was only risking her pride and her whole entire plan all in one question. She felt that this was more nerve racking than any other kind of rejection. “Fine, I’ll go first.” She said when Percy shook his own and refused to speak. She breathed a shaky sigh and closed her eyes, Percy could finally see how nervous she was and Y/N realized that she was in fact scared. “I don’t know if this is moving too fast. But do you… Do you maybe want to try our friendship again? It’s just a suggestion, but I’d really love it if you’d consider it and you don’t have to answer now. Take as many days as you want to think it over.”

Percy started to laugh and Y/N’s heart sunk. Nemesis, she really was acting like a twelve year old with a crush. She pursed her lips and turned around so Percy couldn’t see her tears of frustration. Her face felt hot of embarrassment. She had never wanted to cringe at herself more in her entire life. “You know, just because you think the idea is ridiculous doesn’t mean you have to laugh.” She shut her eyes again, but regretted it a few seconds later when she felt the tears she had been trying so hard to hold in fell. All that time wasted planning for something that didn’t even get past Step One.

“Wait, no,” Percy said and raised his hand to put around her shoulder when he heard her sniff and hastily wipe her face. Percy was alarmed. He knew first hand how hard it was to make Y/N cry, but here she was crying over a rejection that Percy didn’t even mean to make. “Y/N, I would love to try to be friends with you again. I was laughing because I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Y/N turned around and gave him the dirtiest look she had ever given him (and there’s been a lot of dirty looks). “Nemesis, you are so annoying, fish poop.”

“Fish poop? That’s a new one.” Percy nudged her with his elbow and scooted closer to her, “Come here, I haven’t hung out with you in forever and you haven’t experienced my improvement in hugging.”

Y/N snorted, reminiscing the memory. Percy and her had been young, around 12 or 13 and they had just escaped the Cyclops when Percy had hugged her. He had always been a good hugger, but Y/N had refused to admit it at the time and still liked to tease him about it.

Shaking her head, she laughed, “I still can’t believe you hugged me then got blasted off the cliff by a Cyclops. I thought you were dead and felt way too guilty about those words being the last words I ever said to you.”

“Ya, what the hell was that, tiny nightmare! I finally build up the courage to hug you and you reject me.” Percy clicked his tongue at the girl and brought her closer with one arm while he poked her in the stomach with the other. Y/N squirmed at the contact but then rolled her eyes and rested her head on Percy’s shoulder. She could almost hear Rachel’s taunting voice in her head, teasing her about how she should have just talked to him about what she felt. But it was too late now, she had to continue on even though she almost didn’t want too.

-

Step Two: Make him trust you.

Fridays were at Camp were scary. Everyone was always watching their backs for some Ares kid gone rogue or an Athena child deciding that 'you’ are somehow the reason why their plan isn’t working.

After a rather interesting accident between an Ares kid [ it’s always them, isn’t it? ] and one of Y/N’s siblings, she had taken refuge in the Iris Cabin. Rachel was staying there for the Summer as Chiron had finally given into Dionysus’ wishes and had asked some Hephaestus and Aphrodite kids to help rebuild and decorate the Big House. But Y/N secretly really enjoyed the Iris Cabin, it was much brighter and prettier than her own cabin. Plus, there were less threats being thrown around and-as selfish as this sounded-Patrick wasn’t around to whine about her not playing with him.

Knocking on the door, she waited for a quick second before pressing her ear against the wood. It was better to be safe than sorry, right? Afterall, this was a camp full of horny teenagers with beds. How did no one else see that this was a bad idea?

“Y/N?” She heard someone behind her. She felt her face heat up rapidly, how was she going to dodge questions about this? It was such an awkward situation to be in, yet alone converse about it.

It’s not like they wouldn’t ask questions either, they were bound to be confused. Groaning on the inside, she reluctantly turned.

“Do I even want to know what you were doing?” Percy asked, she was surprised to hear the amused tone in his voice.

Y/N almost scowled before she felt her face get warmer as she shook her head. No way in hell would she tell Percy Jackson what she was doing. Sure, they may be 'friends’ but that didn’t mean she liked him.

The porch situation had just been a moment of weakness, but it didn’t help her conscience any less. Y/N had been worrying about it all night, but she had convinced herself that she had just been in a weak emotional state and had taken in any comfort she could.

Because it wasn’t like she could actually like him?

She almost laughed at the thought. “What do you need?”

“What am I not aloud to see my new-no, not new. What the hell is our friendship even called?”

Y/N snorted, “If only you knew.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” she said with a shake of her head, “I know you well enough, kelp head. What is it that you need?”

“I heard that the Nemesis cabin is partnered up with Poseidons’ for Capture the Flag and was wondering if you wanted to help spy on the Athena Cabin with me?”

Turning back to the Iris Cabin longingly, she wondered how much longer she needed for her plan to work. She didn’t know how much longer she could stand Percy’s presence.

She was about to reject him when an image of Annabeth and Percy kissing in the labyrinth popped into her head and suddenly she was nodding vigorously.

Percy grinned, blindingly and suddenly her actions hit her all at once. She needed to stop these stupid, thoughtless decisions. It was going to ruin her plan and all that hard work could not go to waste because some emotions got in the way.

She had already screwed up in the infirmary, she was just lucky it turned out alright.

“So,” Percy said as he threw an arm around her shoulders and brought her closer. She prayed to Nemesis that Percy couldn’t hear her heartbeat where he was because it was too loud for her comfort. “Does tiny nightmare, have a plan for tonight?”

“Yes, she does. Hiding inside the Iris Cabin with Rachel and praying to the Gods that no Ares kid finds them.”

Percy guffawed, then realized she wasn’t joking and stared at her for a few seconds, “Wait, have you been playing in the last few games?”

Y/N shook her head, “No, I stopped after the war.”

Percy opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it and turned forwards. It felt weird not feeling the comforting presence on her side, but she didn’t know why. She hadn’t been within a three foot radius of him since last year, yet after a few minutes the distance felt weird.

“You shouldn’t let fear control your life.” Percy looked so uncharacteristically serious, she almost forgot it was him talking.

“Oh,Yeah? When did you become so prophetic, kelp head?”

-

She had forgotten how boring Capture the Flag could be. The Nemesis Cabin had lost the coin toss between the Apollo Cabin and now Y/N and her siblings were stuck guarding the flag along with some other cabins.

She really regretted coming out tonight.

Percy had forgotten about her the second he called their team in for planning. She was bitterly reminded of yesteryear.

Covering her eyes from the sun, she tried to blink away the green glare. She was still in shock of what had happened earlier. How could she have been so stupid? She had warmed up to Percy and obviously there were consequences.

Y/N was surprised at herself. She had forgotten about one little knot in her plan.

Y/N still cared for Percy.

It was weird how she hadn’t considered it before. She supposed she had been so blinded by anger the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind.

But it still didn’t make the situation any better. Now she was going to have to work extra hard to make her plan work. Y/N was going to make herself hate him. But she didn’t know how.

How do you hate someone you still care about?

Almost laughing out loud at herself, she shook her head. Why was she even continuing on with the plan in the first place?

'Just because you care about him doesn’t mean he cares about you,’ a little voice in her head said. 'Wasn’t he the one who left you behind? If he cared about you he wouldn’t leave you. But look where he is now, not with you.’

“Y/N?” A hand waved in front of her face, she groaned and shook her head. Everything was so blurry and along with that she had a major headache. She turned her head to see a Hypnos kid, she distantly remembered him as Clovis. “Hey, you fell asleep. You are a heavy sleeper. I’m surprised you didn’t wake up from the screams and shouts from the Blue team. I can’t even sleep through that and that’s saying something.”

They won. Oh nemesis, and Y/N had slept through it. How had she slept through it?

Clovis asked her something else, but she only nodded. Y/N needed to find Rachel. Rachel was surprisingly good at remembering her dreams and she was hoping that maybe she could help her remember hers.

“Ya, ya, thanks Clovis.” She said while getting up, “I gotta go, right now. But I’ll see you later, ya?”

Running towards the pavilion, she dodged campers heading to either their cabins or their daily activities. She sighed impatiently as two girls in front of her walked exceptionally slow, they were talking about something ridiculous that she would have laughed at if she didn’t want to find Rachel.

“Y/N! Hey! Y/N!” Turning around, she saw Patrick run up to her with the biggest grin she had ever seen. He had the flag wrapped around his shoulders which could only mean one thing. “Where were you? Did you hear? I can’t believe I did that. I kicked Clarisse’s butt! You should have seen her face! It was the funniest thing I had ever seen.”

Y/N felt herself unconsciously smile as he went on and on about how he heroically saved the Blue Team from losing. After hearing for the third time how he snatched the flag from right under Clarisse’s nose, her mind started to wonder. She saw Lacy talking with on Patrick’s friends, two naiads bickering over who’s trees were cleaner, but then she spotted Percy receiving pats on the backs from other boys.

If it were any other situation Y/N wouldn’t have cared. But it was the way they were all acting, it reminded her way too much of the day after the war. The day Y/N’s life flipped upside down.

Pretending to listen to Patrick about whatever he was babbling on about now, she caught a bit of their conversation as they walked past.

He hadn’t even noticed her, again.

“Bro, that was such a good save.”

Percy laughed, “Calling everyone bro isn’t going to pick up chicks.”

“Shut the hell up, man. Why’d you give all that credit to that kid. He didn’t do anything, just grabbed the flag and ran it back.”

Y/N’s breath hitched, she felt like she had just been slapped in the face. Her stomach was in her mouth and everything was blurred together like some kind of painting, except the brush strokes were all wrong. Everything about the painting was wrong.

“Y/N,” she heard her brother call, but he sounded further away as if she was stuck in a fish tank and he was on the other side. “Y/N, are you alright?”

A whimper left her mouth, not again. The flashbacks couldn’t start again. She needed to sit down.

Twirling around, she ran into people as she searched frantically for ground that wasn’t covered with people. Everything was just happening too fast. People were calling her name or yelling when she bumped into them. She swore she heard Percy call her name worriedly, but that to have been just her imagination.

Finally finding a grassy area where no people were, she fell onto her knees on it. Panting on her hands and feet, she gasped for air. She felt as if she was going to throw up but she couldn’t, she wasn’t. Y/N wasn’t sick.

Gripping the grass between her hands, she tried to calm herself down. She took in deep breaths and focused on the feeling on the dirt and grass on her skin, the sun warming her up.

After repeating those steps a few times, she finally confident enough to sit against the tree trunk next to her without throwing up. But when she tried to move, she felt a hand holding up her hair and another hand steadily stroking her back. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows and almost kicked the person behind her in self defense. But then she realized that a monster couldn’t get in the border and most certainly, would not be trying to calm her down.

Turning around, she saw Percy kneeling down next to her. The second she saw him she almost jumped away. The sick feeling was back again.

“Are you alright?”

Staring at him in disgust for a few moments, she wondered how he lived with himself. How could he be so selfish to willingly take people’s credit? Nemesis, she needed to get away from him. His presence was making her skin crawl.

But she couldn’t say anything now, not when her plan was going to well.

“What’s wrong?”

Gods, she was done with the plan. She was done with him. Y/N just wanted it to be over and to never have to see him again. “I hate you.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I hate you and I want you to get away from me right now.”

Percy was silent for longer than she had thought. Rolling her eyes, she pushed him away. “It shouldn’t take you that long to process it. I’ve told you many times before.”

“But-”

“Nuh, uh, uh,” she shook a finger at him, “No buts. Just go away and leave me alone.”

“Wait, but Y/N-”

“Did you not hear me before? I want you to leave.” When he didn’t leave, she sighed dramatically and tried to calm her shaking fingers. If he didn’t leave in a few seconds she was going to start crying and she was not going to cry in front of him. “Nemesis, you’re like an annoying fly that I can’t shoo away.”

Percy almost laughed but looked so hurt it didn’t even sound like one. Guilt climbed up into her throat and started to choke her.

Then he left. Just like that, within a blink of an eye he got up and started to walk away.

-

Step Three: Give him what he deserves.

Y/N had a weird choice of music. She liked to listen to any song-as long as there was the sound of rain in the background. It didn’t matter if it was actually raining and she decided to open her window ( no matter how much her siblings complained ) or it was playing on her phone.

It was actually weird how any song could go with the sound of rain. Y/N could be listening to Classical Music to 80s Alternative to Hard Metal Rock, but somehow it all just flowed.

Giggling to herself, she turned around in her bed and attempted to fall asleep again. Y/N had gone to bed early that night. She had accidentally fell asleep crying around 5, missing dinner in the process but feeling better than she had in awhile. It was like a load of stress had just melted off her shoulders.

Patrick was sleeping next to her. They had moved their beds beside each other when he hurt his leg. Y/N remembered doing it when they were younger, before they had known they were demigods, when things were more simple. Patrick would sometimes sneak into her bed late at night. He would try to be as quiet and graceful as he could, but he somehow would always wake her up. Sometimes they would play cards under the candles Y/N bought and placed around her room during her witch phase.

However, for the past week, it had been Y/N initiating their sleeping circumstances.

Y/N had made an excuse about her being worried about her little brother being injured, but she had a feeling Patrick knew the truth. Afterall, the entire Camp had heard about what had gone down between Y/N and Percy.

The girl sighed and turned back around, she could not find a comfortable sleeping position for the life of her. It got to the point where she had moved so much that Patrick had complained and Y/N had forced herself to stay still even though she could feel her arm going numb.

However, it seemed that whenever she felt like she was about to fall asleep, a noise outside would wake her up. The first time, it had been someone talking too loudly with someone else. She wondered how the furies didn’t catch them.

The second time, it was someone cursing followed by something heavy falling in a bush. Sitting up, she popped her ears popping that would somehow improve her hearing.

Allegedly, it didn’t and Y/N was left with wondering who would be trying to climb up the Nemesis Cabin. She debated waking Patrick up, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good. He would probably only run around and wake up other campers which would only make Chiron or Dionysus mad.

Still debating in her head, she moved her head back and forth before finally getting up with a whimper. She did not want to die today. Y/N felt like she was in some murder mystery, but she was the dumbass who died first going to check out the murderer.

Her room was dark. Splaying her hands out in front of her, she walked towards her window like a zombie. She heard her heartbeat ram against her chest in distress as she glanced back at Patrick. Maybe she should have woken him up.

Shaking her head but stopping in her steps anyway; she wondered how she was going to get back without falling-especially if there was a killer on the loose.

A banging on the window brought her out of her thoughts. Freezing in her steps, she looked back at Patrick again. This was ridiculous. She was a demi-god, for Pete’s sake. Not just a demi-god, but Nemesis’ daughter at that.

When Y/N was a few feet away from the window, she forced her feet to stay put but leaned forward so her hands could unlock the window. She looked like a banana with arms.

However, just as she was about to unlock the window, it opened itself. Flinching away, she almost jumped five feet in the air, resembling a kangaroo. Too bad her landing wasn’t as graceful. She landed on her but, scrambling away from the window.

A figure climbed through and Y/N thought she was about to cry. Her eyes scanned the room, wildly, looking for anything to defend herself with. “What the hell are you doing on the floor?”

A breath Y/N didn’t know she was holding escaped her once she recognized the voice. Her hands were still shaking and she was sure the adrenaline wouldn’t leave for a while but Y/N couldn’t bring herself to care. She was too occupied with wondering what the hell Percy Jackson was doing in her room. Especially since their last encounter ended just as badly as she had anticipated.

“Would you be quiet?” Y/N harshly whispered, and stood up. “Patrick is still sleeping. But why I am on the floor is none of your concern.”

Y/N knew Percy enough to know he didn’t believe her but she couldn’t care less. Sighing and shaking her head, she turned back to her bed. Y/N had already had a big scare tonight, she didn’t need anymore drama. Besides, who the hell climbed into someone’s room at 3 in the morning. She was sure whatever Percy needed to discuss could wait until the morning. “Is anyone hurt?”

“No.”

“Dead.”

“What? No.”

“Shh,” Y/N finally turned around to face him, “Then what are you doing here?”

“I needed to talk to you.”

“And it couldn’t wait until the morning?”

“Obviously.”

“Well, I think it can wait.” Y/N gave him a sarcastic smile, she was so done with him. She had told him how she felt and he didn’t even have the audacity to listen to her. Nemesis, she wasn’t even surprised.

“Well, I don’t think it can.” Percy said and grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn towards him. It was the first time she had seen his face since last week and she didn’t feel any remorse. Her eyes narrowed and her lips picked up into a sneer but he didn’t even flinch.

Gods, she hated him.

Why couldn’t he be like everyone else and leave her alone when she made it obvious that she didn’t enjoy their company. Before she disliked him, she had enjoyed his persistence to be her friend. But now more than ever, she hated it.

She didn’t want to have anything to do with him. Her plan had already failed and they would never be friends again. “Come on, revenge expert, you know how stubborn I am. Either we talk or I’m not leaving your room.”

Staring at him like he was crazy-he was-for a few seconds, she looked around the cabin. Her siblings were still all sleeping soundly somehow and she really didn’t want to wake anyone up. Nemesis, knew what they would do to her if anyone woke up. “Fine, but can we talk somewhere else?”

He cocked his head to the side and looked to be debating something inside his head before he finally shrugged. Leading the way, she had to pretend to know that she wasn’t stumbling and stepping over random things gracefully. Pride can be a dangerous thing.

The nighttime air was surprisingly warm that night which Y/N was thankful for. The conversation would have been much, much worse if she had to stand outside with the looming thoughts of furies overhead while suffering through a very awkward conversation.

Nemesis, she was still debating if she should lie to him.

“Alright, Jackson. What did you need to discuss?”

“Why do you hate me?” Raising her eyebrows, she did her best to seem surprised at the question. Y/N knew had seen it coming after the discussion they had earlier that week but she still couldn’t think of how to answer his question without giving the truth away.

Shuffling her feet and looking down, she avoided eye contact. She couldn’t bare to look at him while she was talking-and she had to answer soon. Feeling her muscles tense up when she couldn’t think of anything, she thought of the best excuse she could within a span of a few seconds. “Umm, I-Listen, Percy. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it, truly,” she added when he gave her a look. “I just… I had gotten mad at something and I had taken it out on you. I’m so sorry. It was entirely unfair of me to get mad at you for something you hadn’t even been apart of.”

Biggest lie of the last millennia. Gods, she could practically feel her nose growing a few more inches.

Percy went silent for a few minutes. It only made her feel more nervous as time went on. He looked almost disappointed by what she had said, as if she were a child telling their parent that the cat had knocked over the glass vase and broke it-not them. “Rach told me everything.”

Staring at him blankly, she tried to process what he had said. It was like her brain had been super glued and the only way for it to work was moving.

She froze then started moving all at once. Bumbling profusely, and moving to run away from him Percy caught her just in time and brought her to his chest.

“Leave me alone! Let me go!” She started to pound his chest and kick as much as she could but he only held onto her tighter. Sobs racked her chest but she felt as if a huge load had suddenly been lifted off her shoulders. It was purely exhausting trying to fight him, but she didn’t stop. “Let me go! I hate you!” But soon her shouts slurred together and her fighting slowed down.

She was just so tired.

Especially after she realized Percy was trying to comfort her. He had been rocking her back and forth while petting her hair. She felt oddly like a child.

Her breathing slowed down as she let herself sob into his chest and hug him back. “I hate you. I hate you so much.”

Percy didn’t say anything, he only started to rub her back.

-

A MONTH LATER

Y/N couldn’t remember the last time her and Percy had talked but she was finding that she preferred it that way. They would occasionally bump into each other and it seemed Percy would want to say something, but Y/N would be too busy almost falling over air to try to get away from him to notice.

Rachel had tried to get them to mend their friendship, but Y/N was way too embarrassed to even look at him. She didn’t understand, Rachel had never understood.

Sighing contentedly, she placed down her cards, “Sorry, Rach. Straight in diamonds. Read them and weep.”  

“What the hell?” Rachel whined throwing her hands up in the air, “How are you so good at cards?”

Y/N looked at her weirdly and scoffed, “I live year-round in a pro-longed Summer Camp with no technology. What do you think I do during the school year. Homework?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. If I saw you actually work for something I think I would die of shock.”

Gasping in mock outrage, she placed an offended hand to her chest, “I would say something witty if it weren’t true. But I can’t think of anything.”

Rachel snorted and threw a pillow at Y/N, almost knocking her off the bed to the point where half of her body was hanging off. “Oh Gods, help me! I’m going to fall of the bed and die!”

Rachel started to laugh, “You can’t even work when you are about to die, eh?”

“Shut the hell up, firetruck and help me get up!”

Rachel only tried to push her off more when the door opened and in came Butch Walker. The poor boy was more than confused but chose not to say anything, which Y/N was thankful for-especially when she fell on the floor.

“Hey,” he paused once he grabbed his sweatshirt and was on his way out, “Do you wanna go to the bonfire with the rest of us? The Iris Cabin gets to roast marshmallows tonight and we could sneak you a s'more.”

Y/N looked at a sniggering Rachel who nodded but laughed harder in return and Y/N grabbed the pillow and threw it at her. “Sure, Walker. We’ll be out in a second. I need to grab a jacket and make sure Rachel gets out without falling over laughing.”

Rachel stuck her tongue out at her friend while Butch laughed quietly, “Sure thing.”

-

The air outside was way too chilly for Summer, a stark reminder that Fall was coming. The jacket she had grabbed was a zip-up hoodie, the kind that always seemed to stick out in the worst places and Rachel had plenty of fun poking at it.

Swatting her hand away for what seemed like the 20th time, Y/N bumped her hip, “Wanna go swimming tomorrow? I bought a new swimsuit at the Camp Store and it-”

“Does it actually fit this time?”

“Shut up,” Y/N said and pushed her. The last swimsuit she had bought had been a little too small and the top had fallen off when she had jumped off the dock. It hadn’t been as embarrassing as it seemed as no one else but Rachel had been in the water-thank the Gods. But Y/N still hasn’t found the missing suit to this day.

Y/N had had a amazing retort in mind, but the words had lay forgotten once she saw the scene in front of her. Percy was being held up by a bunch of boys from the Hephaestus Cabin and shouting.

She had forgotten it was Friday. His team must have won Capture the Flag. She made a mental note to ask Patrick who had won and made a bee-line too the fire pit. Grabbing Rachel’s hand so she wouldn’t lose her in the crowd, she tried to get through the massive crowd of Campers. Nemesis, they smelled.

“Rach, do you see Butch?” Y/N stood on her tippy-toes to try to see over the heads of kids but she couldn’t see a thing.

“Yeah, hold on,” she said and ducked under an arm. Y/N was forced to follow and could only briefly apologize to the people she bumped into before she was pulled away.

“Y/N! Wait, Y/N!” Y/N turned around at the mention of her name to see Percy making his way towards her. Her eyes widened and she turned around quickly, passing a confused Rachel and now pulling her towards the Camp fire.

Fortunately, Percy hadn’t caught up to them in time and Y/N made it to the fire in record time. She stole a roasted marshmallow from Butch, who looked mildly offended but only poked her with the stick.

“He never says anything, haven’t you noticed?” Y/N asked and nodded towards Butch. Rachel only shrugged as she snagged a bar of chocolate and handed a piece to Y/N.

Feeling a poke behind her, she expected to see Butch but only saw a grinning Patrick. He quickly hugged his sister, something that he didn’t normally do. Y/N raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything and hugged him back. His leg hadn’t healed fully yet, Will had gave him crutches and a cast. The former not with him which was probably the reason as to why he was holding onto her.

“What’s up, little Y/N?” Rachel said with a grin that Patrick only shyly glanced away at. He had had a crush on Rachel since they had met. It was the most hilarious thing to watch, especially when he tried to show off.

“Y/N, I need to show you something.”

“Now?”

“Yes, come on. Rachel can come.” Nemesis, he didn’t know how bad he had it. He had a bad habit of smiling every time he said her name or someone else did.

“Just follow the kid.” She had a soft spot for him too.

Patrick lead her further into the crowd, it was only once they were in the very front did she see what was happening. Percy, and some other campers were up on the stage where Apollo kids usually led the camp songs.

Looking at Rachel, she wondered what the hell was going on when she remembered what the date was. It had been a full year since the war. Nemesis, she was surprised she hadn’t noticed or that no one had said anything.

After a few more minutes of waiting, they finally got everyone’s attention. “Hello, everyone!” Percy started by stepping forward, “As we all know, today is the anniversary of the Titan War.”

After Percy spoke of the tragedies of the war and reminded everyone about the bravery of these very young kids, other campers spoke about those they lost which was followed by a few minutes of silence.

Y/N looked around to see the younger campers getting antsy and Y/N was proud to see Patrick condoling a younger one. “Thank you for those few moments of silence. Percy will now announce a new Camp Tradition we will start today so that we can forever be reminded of our fellow heroes.”

Y/N started to blank out, it was getting harder and harder to concentrate with each word and she found her mind wandering about the most random stuff. It could be about what they were doing tomorrow, or if there were any marshmallows left, or how fun it would be to yell in a microphone.

However, she was brought out of her thoughts when she heard her name being called and people cheering. Y/N was pushed by Rachel and then she was walking up to the stage.

“Percy,” she whispered once she was next to him, “What are you doing.”

“Giving you the credit you deserve.” he said and walked back up to the microphone, “Y/N is one of the most courageous, kindest, and skilled person I know. She has been at my side since the beginning. We found the lightning bolt, sailed the Sea of Monsters, held the sky together, survived the Labrinth, and fought in the Titan War.” Y/N couldn’t pay attention after that, she was too busy smiling. She felt warm all over as if someone had placed a blanket over her.

She couldn’t stop smiling, even hours later and the campers were finishing up the Camp song. She felt Rachel nudge her side, but she didn’t want to bask in Rachel’s smugness. She needed to find Percy.

Snaking through the crowd, she found him sitting and talking to Grover on a bench. Percy didn’t notice her presence until, Grover got up and bid his goodbyes. He had a knowing look on his face and Y/N wanted to laugh. She had missed him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Can I sit?” Percy nodded and drew something in the dirt with a stick that still had marshmallow goop on it.

“Thank you for what you did. It meant a lot.”

“I meant it all. You deserved it and I’m sorry for not noticing it before.”

“It’s alright.” Y/N said with a laugh, “Gods, this is awkward, isn’t it?”

“You think?”

“I just, it’s weird. I don’t understand you at all. I told you I hated you and then you go and do this for me.”

“But you had a legit reason to hate me.”

“Ya, you’re right.” Y/N said bluntly making Percy laugh, “What do we do now?”

“Well, I want to try to be friends. If you’ll have me?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, he was such a kelp head sometimes. “Of course, you sea slug. What did you think I was going to say?”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me! You’re incredibly confusing!”

Y/N scoffed, “You’re one to talk.”

“How am I confusing?”

“You’re right. You’re just completely oblivious.”

Percy stuck his tongue out at her before scooting closer to her. It was weird having their things touch again, comforting but exhilarating at the same time.

Smiling goofily, she turned towards Percy. He had been trying out the yawn and reach trick but had been caught half-way through. His mouth was still in mid-yawn and his arm was just above her shoulder. It was hilarious how he stopped but then kept going as if she didn’t notice.

Rolling her eyes but cuddling into him, she smiled. He could be such an idiot sometimes.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Jenny’s Belated Live Blogging - 4th November 2019

- well that was...rough. 

- I mean I knew Aaron was going to be angry and his first go to is always that Robert is being selfish in part because of Aaron’s own self worth issues. The same way that Robert doesn’t think he deserves Aaron waiting for him for 14 years, Aaron thinks that Robert just wants rid of him. No matter how much they’ve grown, they always revert back to that in times of crisis and since it now can’t be fixed unless Ryan comes back, it’s extra hard. 

- I just really need them to eventually have Aaron come to terms with it all that Robert wasn’t just being selfish. Yes, I’ve seen all the ‘he’s always make decisions for Aaron’ commentary and while those are valid discussions to be had, it also doesn’t mean he doesn’t desperately care about Aaron’s happiness and want him to be okay and cope. It’s just an incredibly complicated situation that is made worse by the fact that Ryan has left the show. 

- But him taking off those rings hurt a lot. 

- And I really hope they don’t take everything that they had and everything that gave to them in those final scenes and their #robronforever website and just wreck it all because that would suck. I’m not saying they will in the end, but I’m nervous. 

- At least Liv was less annoying today because she wasn’t trying to tell Aaron to just forget about his husband and move on. What the fuck Chas?! I mean I knew she was going to do that eventually but it was literally yesterday that he saw him. 

- I’m with everyone else, I want Aaron to break down and spiral but I also want it to be mostly out of love for Robert that he’s lost and not just because he thinks he’s selfish like everyone else. I know we’re in the denial and anger stage of grief right now but...we’ll see. Also yes...I do kind of hate all of the people he has around him to support him. 

- Also I support him punching Luke because I don’t know why Vic is trying to sort of date him and I don’t know why Luke want’s to date her either. Like guys...there were be other people. You’re not soulmates here. I appreciate Aaron pointing out how fucked up it was. 

- Anyway...other things...Clearly Graham is going to die so his life insurance policy for Millie will stir up drama. Sorry Rhona. 

- The intensity of the weed story that started as a comedy plot still baffles me. 

- I do think it’s interesting stuff for Jai to play but I hope he and Laurel work it out despite jealous Arthur’s meddling. 

- Moira just hanging around a chatting with Vic is exactly what here character needs right now. 

...if there were other things...i forgot them. 

- RYAN COME BACK AND DON’T LET THEM RUIN ROBERT’S LEGACY!!!!

- Me, dramatic? Yes.