#waiting to conceive

[flowersforthemachines]

Useless Veilguard fact of the day: Day 49

If you complete Emmrich's questline and make him a lich before he goes on the camping trip with Harding, you can hear some unique voicelines.

Rook: So going outdoors is still… fun, for a lich? Emmrich: Nature remains cloaked in all its glory. Though the elements pose less of a worry. Harding: Exactly! You're a skeleton under your magic. Why are you even bringing different clothes? Emmrich: My dear Harding, a gentleman should always look presentable. Harding: (Exasperated noise) To who? The squirrels? Emmrich: That should be "to whom." Harding: I am going to stab you with an arrow. Emmrich: I really have looked forward to you showing me more of your home, Harding. Harding: Me, too. Oh! Are you going to be a lich in the woods? Emmrich: If it's not an inconvenience. Can we still have a campfire? Harding: We have to have a campfire. And spooky stories. Emmrich: Wonderful! I'll copy some passages from my diaries.

Check out the tag for more useless facts: #useless davg fact of the day!

My DAVG Extracted Audio Masterlist

[inkyrainstorms]

Milestones

@aroace-get-out-of-my-face I sincerely and honestly wish you a very get exploded.

[uesp]

Vestige: "You're fishing?"

Morah: "Ah, ha ha. You must be utterly baffled by the concept. Just sitting and waiting for something to occur with patience. As quickly as you expire the mere idea must appear ludicrous. How utterly pathetic."

Vestige: "Mortals fish, you know."

Morah: "They do? Oh, my … that somehow makes it even worse. There went the last vestiges of pity I held for you worthless creatures. Alas, I'll never be as cruel as whoever conceived of you reeking offal-bags."

[pushing500]

The first wedding in this entire playthrough!! Congratulations to Jut and Beau, I'm so happy for them <3 <3 <3

They wasted ZERO time making good use of their newfound ability to share a bed, and I'm glad they seem to be enjoying themselves. Good for them.

It has been TWO MINUTES

Beau is almost fifty years old and has a fertility percentage of less than two!!! How they managed this on their first try, I'll never be able to wrap my head around. Good job, you guys. Maybe go easy on it from now on, yeah?

I think Beau might be the first colonist I've ever had who was happy about being pregnant. Everyone else was always grumpy about it. I'm happy for her, too!

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[benevolenterrancy]

@little-meowyao a naive and temporary sense of belonging u.u

[rebellionmoon]

ngl life sucks, I'm ready to be kidnapped by illumi zoldyck.

[wildsaltair]

fighting for my life just watching him stand there and exist 😵‍💫😍✨💕

[ladykissingfish]

Madara: Izuna, you know I love you, right?

Madara: You’re more precious to me than any other thing in this whole world.

Madara: And you’re so cute, the spitting image of mother! With your beautiful smile and big gorgeous eyes!

Madara: *petting Izuna’s hair* I wish we could stay like this, just like this, forever and ever. Me and my sweet baby brother.

Izuna: Madara, this is all very nice, but …

Izuna: It’s my wedding night. I really need to go and be with Tobirama now.

Madara: So soon? If he’s that impatient for you to go to him, then perhaps this marriage was a mistake? No matter, as the clan elder I can just get it annulled and —

Izuna: Impatient? Big brother … the wedding has been over for four hours now! *points at the chair across the room* For Kami’s sake, your own husband fell asleep waiting for you!

Madara: But …

Izuna: Listen, Madara … the sooner you let me go, the sooner I can … *blushes* the soon WE can start working on making you an uncle. You’ve always wanted that, haven’t you?

Madara:

Madara: *releases Izuna* Try and aim for some little girls, please. The clan needs more Uchiha princesses.

[daeneryscel]

“laena/rhaenyra wasn’t even a paragraph why are you so mad that they were scrapped for the show?”

oh i don’t know janice maybe because it being in a historical text written 200 years after the fact by ultra religious MEN who despise women and queerness all together IS noteworthy? ‘more than fond of’ is an allegory used multiple times in the asoiaf main timeline to describe romantic feelings and you’re mad that people read that phrase the way it was intended? not to mention it’s used in conjunction with ‘while the princess misliked her stepmother’ like COME ON at this point you’re being deliberately stupid. i’m sorry they weren’t scissoring each other for 200 pages but in actuality what did you expect? acting like rhaenyra and alicent were so so in love when we were only shown a couple scenes of them getting along max during a six month period. the only way that ship will ever be canon is through the actors. the show leaves crumbs for asshats like you because they know you’ll bend over backwards to defend them. apparently it’s still okay to queerbait in the year of our lord 2k24; along with sidelining a woman of color because diversity was important until it came to fleshing out a black woman and her canon sapphicness.

laena, for the limited time we had her character, was fiery, bold, and adventurous. she claimed the largest and oldest dragon alive at 12! the show choosing to racebend her only to mitigate her affect on the plot is gross! they did it to keep the ‘what if they were in love’ guessing game and gift it to a white woman. a white woman who vehemently HATED rhaenyra. we just wanted the story to have complex and multilayered characters rhaenyra has NO FRIENDS besides the first *two* episodes that is the definition of shitty storytelling. a targaryen princess at the height of her families power the literal protagonist of the dance and you all want her to be a lonely spinster boy mom who’s not like the other girls so bad when she was literally surrounded by women all of whom she cared about dearly. multiple relationships with others helps bring a story to life and would’ve helped tremendously with making the dumb as rocks audience understand rhaenyra’s character and how she was a girls girl in a time where you really couldn’t afford to be one which is why it’s so tragic when she starts turning on them during the dance but nooo the ONLY relationship that matters is a busted up friendship that the writers have in a chokehold for no good reason and fuck everyone else that these women might care about right? fuck rhaenyra fuck laena fuck alicent fuck their kids fuck their GRANDKIDS they’re all just mostly blank slates anyway what impact is their death going to have on the narrative? next to nothing because of these fuckass decisions. let’s just all agree to throw stones at glass houses THAT would be more fulfilling for the show than half of the shit they gave us.

[mammalsofaction]

He doesn't touch the stick.

He leaves in to stew in the sink as he sits hunched over the toilet, with the lid closed. He wants it to think about what it's done. It's dead silent in the bath, save for the rapid-rhythmic tap-tap-tap of his heels against the light green bathroom tiles. He has his lips pursed thinly and pressed against his hands steepled in thought. Thinking, spiralling, catastrophizing. He was too old for this. Why was he feeling this way? God knows this isn't even his first turn around the rodeo. He's probably mixing his metaphors.

He lets himself think about semi-phones and allegories as he brings himself to his feet again, so he can stare down the bowl of the sink, where he'd last dropped the recalcritant stick and it's damning results, staring up at him like a starving stray.

Heinz looks down, and stares, he doesn't touch it. It's damned little digital screen does not change. Simple black pixels on a backlit screen the colour of parchment.

Pregnant.

Heinz inhales deeply, and hunches further, metal fingers curling around the edges of the sink bowl. Suddenly he was all of 30 again, unmated and unwed, breaking down in the cramped bathroom of a ramshackle studio apartment in downtown Danville he rents with the money he barely earns from a failing bratwurst stand.

Pregnant with his best friend's baby. Jesus christ. He was too old to make the same mistakes, yet here he was now.

And he had no reason to believe it was going to turn out as well now as it had then.

[whentherewerebicycles]

the baby officially started eating big kid meals at daycare today 😭😭 we are somehow five weeks out from being done with formula which seems impossible I thought I would be cleaning bottles out for the rest of my life.

[3142-redgrave-avenue]

hey guys does anyone have that one tumblr post/meme of Sparda asking Eva if they could have normal sex but Eva demanding "DEMON FORM! NOW!" please I cant find it anywhere because last time i saw it was from a reblog because the op was deactivated

[ryukiethebored]

Seong Gi-hun in Squid Game [S 1, Ep 1]

[ulteri0rm0tives]

MEAN?? TO ME?????

[slayerdurge]

OC Tag Game

Tagged by @andrewknightley (Thanks!! These were fun & useful for developing backstory!)

Tagging @merge-conflict, @shadows-aflame, @luvwich, and @loratheris (no pressure ofc as always!)

I have a lot of OCs I could potentially answer these for, but I'm gonna go with my Durge just because she's my primary fixation right now.

Name: The name she grew up with was Carissa Tennebraum, but she hasn't used it since she was a teenager & the Urge took over for the first time, leading her to massacre not just her foster parents but their entire household of servants & guards. Ironically, she was actually going to do it herself if the Urge hadn't beat her to it. The Urge had been whispering to her for a while, and she was very interested in what it had to say, but she wanted to do it carefully so she wouldn't get caught and well... the Urge was not patient, especially not once she started encouraging it. When she came out of the black out, she was annoyed at the mess and carelessness but also kinda amazed... she hadn't realized she was capable of taking down so many people all at once. Anyway, she had to hightail it outta there and leave that entire identity behind (except technically she uses the name in a few legal documents since she was eventually able to lay claim to her foster parents' inheritance).

Alias: Everyone at the Bhaal Temple and any other notable acquaintances in Baldur's Gate know her as The Dark Urge. She didn't actually acquire "Durge" as a nickname until after the tadpole. Astarion was complaining that "The Dark Urge" was a mouthful to say and asked if they couldn't just call her something else. She refused, but then Shadowheart suggested combining the two words and just calling her "Durge." (She was still sort of annoyed that Durge had commented that "Shadowheart" was a weird name even though her own name is "The Dark Urge".) She expected Durge would hate it but she was actually okay with that, so it's what they all ended up using.

Gender: Slayer Female

Sexual orientation: Honestly, the most accurate label is probably "demisexual" though she definitely wouldn't refer to herself that way. She would say that sex is just one weapon among many in her arsenal of manipulation, but that she's never felt physical pleasure while engaging in the act (and in fact that only time she's ever felt that kind of pleasure was after a particularly vicious kill). She would also say that it's stupid of most people to get tangled up in romantic relationships and that if she had those kinds of urges, she'd be smart about it and just get her needs met at a brothel and never have to see that person again. Then at some point after she'd known Gortash for a while, he was going on about some breakthrough he'd had in his latest Torment Nexus design and gesturing excitedly with those gauntleted hands of his and she had an "Oh Shit" moment that she would proceed to deny vehemently for the next few years.

Age: 43, though since she's a half-elf she ages slower physically than humans do.

Spoken language: It's D&D... so... Common. 😂 Does not actually know Elvish. Does know several exotic/underground languages that she's picked up as potentially useful in her studies and experiences (draconic, infernal, abyssal, thieves' cant, that kinda thing). (I couldn't confirm for sure exactly which ones without further backstory consideration, but definitely at least a couple along those lines.)

Occupation: She ran the Bhaalist cult like the mafia. Combining ritual sacrifice with paid assassination is just good business sense, and she spread their influence to the other roguish organizations of the city and even to legitimate business fronts for laundering purposes. They always had plenty of money. The whole "sewer rat" thing was for secrecy and intimidation, not out of necessity.

FAVORITE:

Color: Black, red, & gold, in that order. Wouldn't admit to it, but also finds herself drawn to the bluish-green Banite signature color (aka Stillmaker's color).

Entertainment: Murder

Pastime: Murder

Food: She has an active preference for meat over any other food group, and an active preference for the meat of intelligent beings over the meat of animals.

Drink: In classic bizarre contrast with her favorite food... fine expensive wine.

HAVE THEY...

Passed university: Nope. Throughout childhood, she had a chain of private tutors that constantly had to be swapped out because she kept excelling faster than any of them were prepared for. After the Urge, she just focused on learning from private study & actual life experiences.

Had sex: Yes, many times with various people whenever it happened to be the best tactic toward getting something she needed or wanted. And, after several years of denial, eventually with Enver. It only ever meant something to her with him. Post-tadpole, she has sex with several of her camp mates (and also The Emperor) but it is only done as a method to gain their favor and try to make them more loyal to her than to the others. She only does this with the ones that don't seem like they care much about monogamy since she doesn't want the tactic to backfire and actually lead to resentment (so she sleeps with Lae'zel and Minthara, not Astarion since she could tell she could actually manipulate his trust more effectively by not having sex with him, and not Shadowheart since she never seemed interested and never really trusted Durge anyway). None of it lasts once they start expressing a desire for any sort of exclusivity. It's similar with The Emperor. She wanted to make sure he preferred her over the others and would chose to protect her from the Netherbrain over them if it came down to a group schism of any sort.

Had sex in public: Maybe? She wouldn't flinch from the concept, but it would really just depend on if there was some reason to do it that way.

Gotten tattoos: No

Gotten piercings: No

Gotten scarred: Yes, most notably one on her neck and one across her face. She got them from Enver on the sole occasion where she lost control of her Urge while she was with him and tried to kill him. He fought back, and when he drew blood, the Urge was so shocked that he'd actually been able to get a hit in that it jarred her back into conscious control of herself. She could've had the scars removed, but she chose not to. She liked having them as a reminder of his strength and that he was far from helpless against her Urge.

Had a broken heart: She's had moments where she's experienced sadness of some sort but I wouldn't really say that's the right phrasing for it.

ARE THEY...

A cuddler: Yes, to her great shame. It took her & Enver years to touch each other for the first time, and then afterwards they just... would not stop. And as if that wasn't bad enough, it wasn't even just sex. Turns out he's actually very physically affectionate in a distressingly casual way... always running his hands over her bare shoulders or caressing her face... by the time they met Ketheric, they were driving him absolutely insane with their levels of PDA. In hindsight, she might've seen this coming. She'd never really "counted" it as any sort of intimacy, but she was always really physically affectionate with Sceleritas. He always liked to ride on her back or sit on her lap... and now that she thinks of it when she was in Slayer form, sometimes they'd kinda cuddle up like puppies... sorry, excuse her, she has to go pray. A lot. And do some ritual sacrifice. And maybe kill Sceleritas a couple times.

Scared easily: No, definitely not easily. Would not be a proper Bhaalspawn if she was. Wouldn't have made it past the first month, much less the first year. Good at maintaining her composure even if facing something dangerous enough to actually frighten her.

Jealous easily: Nope. She's too self-assured to really have a problem with jealousy. A worthy opponent is a good thing. It's an opportunity to learn. Jealousy is not nearly as effective a motivator as greed.

Trustworthy: Not at all. She lies easily and often and shamelessly. That being said, she doesn't usually lie for no reason (unless she's just being sadistic and trying to fuck with someone she finds pathetic), so she is very much capable of forming specific genuine alliances and fulfilling her end of the deal faithfully (and not just with Enver either, she is generally able to do this with anyone with whom it makes sense to do so).

FAMILY:

Parents/siblings: The Tennebraums were a wealthy couple living in Baldur's Gate Upper City who couldn't conceive and who wanted to adopt a half elf orphan girl because they liked the idea of having a child that was exotic but not too exotic and they thought elves were kinda pretty and it was cool that they stayed young for so long. Bhaal specifically picked them out to be the naive hosts who would raise his brood parasite until she was old enough to find her real Father. He wanted her to be raised as part of high society so that she would be able to blend in seamlessly when necessary and gain the element of surprise, and he trusted that her Urge would ensure she would never become too comfortable or complacent in that setting. She exceeded his expectations by every metric. She never loved her foster parents and found them to be shallow and pathetic, but she knew how to wrap them around her little finger well enough to ensure that they always adored her and gave her the best treatment possible. She felt no remorse when the Urge took them, only irritation that it hadn't happened exactly the way she'd planned it.

Children: If her Father told her that he needed her to create more Bhaalspawn, of course she would do it. She'd either find a worthy partner, or if he chose one for her, she'd get it done, and she'd raise the children as proper Bhaalspawn. But since he never asked that of her, she focused her attention on his ultimate purpose of world annihilation instead.

Now, my "end game" for her is she resists Bhaal at the very end (after having embraced her urge the entire time up until then) and takes over the Netherbrain by herself & makes a deal with Bane that she'll send out her armies in his name in exchange for becoming his Chosen & getting Enver's soul back. Enver is... not exactly happy she usurped him (understatement of the decade). But he also wouldn't respect her if she hadn't taken the chance to seize power when she had it. He also was just experiencing being brutally tortured for utterly failing the god that he deeply admired & spent his life striving to impress... and she saved him. He does not know how to process this. He spent years in the House of Hope wishing someone would come rescue him before he killed that part of himself and taught himself that no one will ever come for him. That he has to save himself. He doesn't know what it means to live in a world where that isn't true. It's... complicated (second understatement of the decade). But I do think despite the massive turbulence they experience at first, they know they have to work together because pretty quickly they become so powerful that basically every deity and other influential being in Toril is plotting against them. And they do eventually reestablish their romantic and sexual relationship. And at some point they would consider having children in order to create an heir for their legacy.

I don't think they would be good parents, per say. But ironically not as bad as they could be either. Maybe it's just the voice actor influencing me, but I think Gortash would be kinda like Lucius Malfoy as a dad. He's a terrible parent in the sense that he encourages his kid to become a bully and a hateful person, but he's not actually cruel to the kid and is in fact actually often quite indulgent. Durge would be pretty much the same. How this would work out mostly depends on the personality and choices of the kid.

Another possibility though is that rather than trying to create an heir, they'd actually strive for immortality so that they would never need one and could extend their legacy themselves. Considering this is very much achievable in the D&D setting, I think they'd prefer this. It is also very heretical towards Bhaal in a way they'd enjoy since they're both Banites at this point.

Pets: Nope. She doesn't adopt Scratch, just leaves him to his own devices in the woods. Shadowheart actually suggests it ("You know, we could take him back to the camp with us. Dogs have their uses, and they are rather sweet.") but Durge rolls her eyes and says, "Of course they're sweet. We bred docility and subservience into them over generations. They should've been vicious predators, if we hadn't ripped it out of them for our own amusement." After that, Shadowheart does not make that suggestion again. As for the owl bear cub, Durge kills it during the fight with its mother. It's just another fallen creature to her, one among many and not of any particular significance. She does travel with Shovel, but Shovel is far too intelligent and willful to count as a pet. Durge does enjoy her company though, and Shovel's utterly thrilled to be with Durge since she's never had such a bloodthirsty master before.

[strangenewclassrooms]

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