#waiting to conceive

[bigegglilegg]

I got the baby it’s first thing today!!

I also talked with my stepmom last night and had her look at the baby photos of my possible donors and got her input on them. She told me to get them IQ tested cause that’s more important than looks lol.

I rescheduled with the fertility doctor too and will be seeing them May 16th! Very excited to get the ball rolling.

[child-of-hurin]

.

I DO get this post and I think many interesting things HAVE BEEN done with this concept, and it can be explored,

but there is something so fundamentally western about this post because cannibalism was and is one of the top 3 excuses for colonialism!! The very real and varied forms of exocannibalism and endocannibalism practices by the natives of the Americas was, and still is, the easiest route to dehumanize them and justify the atrocities committed against them!

Cannibalism is a powerful western taboo and I get the appeal of using it as a metaphor to talk about other taboos, and I do think such an approach could be done successfully and with nuance, and maybe I'm being unfair to a one-sentence post -- but oh the way this comes across in the context of the actual, real life history! The inescapability of discussing colonialism always on the moral playing field of the colonizers! What does signalizing the monstrosity of colonialism through cannibalism say about the colonized who ate, indeed, the flesh of other men?

[ladykissingfish]

Madara: Izuna, you know I love you, right?

Madara: You’re more precious to me than any other thing in this whole world.

Madara: And you’re so cute, the spitting image of mother! With your beautiful smile and big gorgeous eyes!

Madara: *petting Izuna’s hair* I wish we could stay like this, just like this, forever and ever. Me and my sweet baby brother.

Izuna: Madara, this is all very nice, but …

Izuna: It’s my wedding night. I really need to go and be with Tobirama now.

Madara: So soon? If he’s that impatient for you to go to him, then perhaps this marriage was a mistake? No matter, as the clan elder I can just get it annulled and —

Izuna: Impatient? Big brother … the wedding has been over for four hours now! *points at the chair across the room* For Kami’s sake, your own husband fell asleep waiting for you!

Madara: But …

Izuna: Listen, Madara … the sooner you let me go, the sooner I can … *blushes* the soon WE can start working on making you an uncle. You’ve always wanted that, haven’t you?

Madara:

Madara: *releases Izuna* Try and aim for some little girls, please. The clan needs more Uchiha princesses.

[blindmagdalena]

really obsessed with soulmate au’s recently and it got me thinking… what if john’s soulmate was part of the boys? a girl trying to kill him with an entire group of people also trying to kill him… and he’s fated to her? could picture him finding out and just putting his hands on his hips while turning his back to her and doing that click chuckle thing. just in utter disbelief but it is definitely on track for fate’s little play with him and his life lolol

Oohhh, you know, I've never played much with the soulmate au concept, but this struck me just right because I can so clearly see the slow, building meltdown that strikes him when that reveal drops.

The mirthless laugh, shaking his head, the hapless gesture to the ceiling before his hands drop. "Of course. Of course it's you. Why wouldn't it be? I mean—Christ, it makes sense, doesn't it? Every single person who was supposed to love me has-has fucked it, so why—" he keeps cutting into this escalating, unsettling laughter. There's nothing funny about it: you're sure that you're watching someone lose the last shred of their sanity in real time. "Why would my 'soulmate'-", he says, miming big, dramatic quotation marks. "-be any different?" That manic grin has shifted into tight baring of his teeth, a vicious sneer. He closes in on you, stands so near you can feel the heat of his breath when he hisses, "I should put you in the fucking dirt with the rest of them."

It should be terrifying, but it's hard to focus on anything other than the glassiness of his eyes. The sheer devastating heartbreak of it all, telegraphed clear as day in the way he carries himself. His eyes flare red, sizzling up the tears before they can fall. "And then you really will be all alone," you say. Maybe it's the hopelessness of the moment, maybe it's the shock of learning for yourself that he's supposed to be your one and only, but you feel numb. Frayed in a way you didn't know you could be. The crimson light of his eyes disappears in an instant, revealing surprise, followed by a wounded kind of look, before that familiar seething rage returns. "We'll see about that."

[mammalsofaction]

He doesn't touch the stick.

He leaves in to stew in the sink as he sits hunched over the toilet, with the lid closed. He wants it to think about what it's done. It's dead silent in the bath, save for the rapid-rhythmic tap-tap-tap of his heels against the light green bathroom tiles. He has his lips pursed thinly and pressed against his hands steepled in thought. Thinking, spiralling, catastrophizing. He was too old for this. Why was he feeling this way? God knows this isn't even his first turn around the rodeo. He's probably mixing his metaphors.

He lets himself think about semi-phones and allegories as he brings himself to his feet again, so he can stare down the bowl of the sink, where he'd last dropped the recalcritant stick and it's damning results, staring up at him like a starving stray.

Heinz looks down, and stares, he doesn't touch it. It's damned little digital screen does not change. Simple black pixels on a backlit screen the colour of parchment.

Pregnant.

Heinz inhales deeply, and hunches further, metal fingers curling around the edges of the sink bowl. Suddenly he was all of 30 again, unmated and unwed, breaking down in the cramped bathroom of a ramshackle studio apartment in downtown Danville he rents with the money he barely earns from a failing bratwurst stand.

Pregnant with his best friend's baby. Jesus christ. He was too old to make the same mistakes, yet here he was now.

And he had no reason to believe it was going to turn out as well now as it had then.

[daeneryseastar]

“laena/rhaenyra wasn’t even a paragraph why are you so mad that they were scrapped for the show?”

oh i don’t know janice maybe because it being in a historical text written 200 years after the fact by ultra religious MEN who despise women and queerness all together IS noteworthy? ‘more than fond of’ is an allegory used multiple times in the asoiaf main timeline to describe romantic feelings and you’re mad that people read that phrase the way it was intended? not to mention it’s used in conjunction with ‘while the princess misliked her stepmother’ like COME ON at this point you’re being deliberately stupid. i’m sorry they weren’t scissoring each other for 200 pages but in actuality what did you expect? acting like rhaenyra and alicent were so so in love when we were only shown a couple scenes of them getting along max during a six month period. the only way that ship will ever be canon is through the actors. the show leaves crumbs for asshats like you because they know you’ll bend over backwards to defend them. apparently it’s still okay to queerbait in the year of our lord 2k24; along with sidelining a woman of color because diversity was important until it came to fleshing out a black woman and her canon sapphicness.

laena, for the limited time we had her character, was fiery, bold, and adventurous. she claimed the largest and oldest dragon alive at 12! the show choosing to racebend her only to mitigate her affect on the plot is gross! they did it to keep the ‘what if they were in love’ guessing game and gift it to a white woman. a white woman who vehemently HATED rhaenyra. we just wanted the story to have complex and multilayered characters rhaenyra has NO FRIENDS besides the first *two* episodes that is the definition of shitty storytelling. a targaryen princess at the height of her families power the literal protagonist of the dance and you all want her to be a lonely spinster boy mom who’s not like the other girls so bad when she was literally surrounded by women all of whom she cared about dearly. multiple relationships with others helps bring a story to life and would’ve helped tremendously with making the dumb as rocks audience understand rhaenyra’s character and how she was a girls girl in a time where you really couldn’t afford to be one which is why it’s so tragic when she starts turning on them during the dance but nooo the ONLY relationship that matters is a busted up friendship that the writers have in a chokehold for no good reason and fuck everyone else that these women might care about right? fuck rhaenyra fuck laena fuck alicent fuck their kids fuck their GRANDKIDS they’re all just mostly blank slates anyway what impact is their death going to have on the narrative? next to nothing because of these fuckass decisions. let’s just all agree to throw stones at glass houses THAT would be more fulfilling for the show than half of the shit they gave us.

[strangenewclassrooms]

.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

13/15 is fun right bc he needs to be touched so so so bad bc she basically touch starved herself to death and she neeeeeeeeeeeds his body she Needs his body but no way in a million years do they have the framework to interpret that need as what it is so they assume it's sexual, right? it's gotta be. i need to be inside you bc i need to be touched bc im my own type bc the trust issues are Dire so just fuck me until ive forgotten im a person or remembered how to be one. right?

until one day like weeks months way longer than it should be into this self-destructive self-actualisation self-care routine theyre lying on the floor of the console room catching their breath and she goes "do you think.....do you think pythia's curse is still in effect or is this gonna be a problem"

and hes like "fuck! susan"

[ilions-end]

the cherry on top of the skyros episode in the achilleid is that at the verrrrry end when achilles has torn away his dress and the jig is up, statius comes in like "hmmm... didn't this whole thing remind you of pentheus a little bit 🤔"

like YES??? YES. OF COURSE IT DID. you did that on PURPOSE when you had achilles attend the bacchic rites as a woman, i've been WAITING FOR YOU TO SAY IT!!

and the contrast drives me CRAZY. how pentheus is COOCOO OBSESSED with observing the rites and gets humiliated and torn apart for his digression, while achilles is forced along and is all bored middleschool class trip kid about it, and there are NO consequences for him

[bigegglilegg]

Cycle 1 Day 4; 02.01.2023

I've been doing some window shopping in terms of donors. I think I may have already found a few I quite like.. they're all red heads!! For some reason I would absolutely adore having a little red headed bean. I talked to my psychiatrist about it and how in middle school my crushes always had red hair, which she says is subconsciously my body is making me pair up with red haired donors because my body can tell that it would be most compatible and therefore a healthier baby? NOT TO MENTION SHE SAID RED HAIRED BABIES ARE EASIER TO BIRTH?? Like there's actual studies that have proven it! She also told me that she was a sperm donor baby and it makes her feel super wanted because her parents literally picked her if that makes sense. My younger sibling texted me this morning and was like "I'd be very happy to have nephew or niece who is a ginger" lololol. I've already started thinking of names, crazy crazy.

I'm just really excited if you couldn't tell (((((: March 1st can't get here soon enough. I may aim to start trying in May? That way the baby can be born around my own birthday ((((:

[fruitsyrups]

ca n we all agree that human bonnie would not be a baker btw

[fideidefenswhore]

Anne's ability to hold the king off for seven years is part of her legend. The brilliance of her strategy was to cast herself in the role of the courtly lady, requiring Henry to play to perfect knight. Henry was nothing if not dogged in the pursuit of all the roles in which he cast himself—philosopher-king, warrior, even husband—and 'this persona of courtly lover...was fully formed in Henry and had been signaling...for an answering adept to come and lift its latch. In Anne, he had her: she was the mistress of Petrarchan contraries [...] the perfect [player] for the king's tender interest.'

Renaissance Prince: Elizabeth, Lisa Hilton

[coredrill]

thursday of braaaaaaaaaavern!!!

[alberta-sunrise]

When you’re stuck in the TWW and you’re feeling nauseous as hell but its still to early 😪

[jesse-pinko]

Been rewatching Sex and the City for some reason. Look everybody always talks ab how Carrie was a bad friend and she definitely was butttt if her friends were real ones then Mr.Big would have ended the series at the bottom of the Hudson. Is all I’m saying.

[thegreatyin]

which little guys are your favorite?

rigel, reguel, caeru, callie, phenex, and (naturally at this point) the scoundrel, in that vague and constantly-changing order. but honestly there isn't a single little guy whom i wouldn't bounce off the walls about if given the opportunity