#want to be someone they can come to and say 'your formulation doesn't work for me'

[missmonsters2]

Mirror, Mirror | Two

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

PART ONE

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Wanda oscillates between crying and being overcome with confidence to confess. She barely has time to reflect when the devastating news arrives that you have a date, and Wanda needs to formulate a plan—quickly.

Warnings: best friends to lovers. shenanigans. jealousy, jealousy. sexual tension. pining. yearning. sexual thoughts. spicy (tumblr's version). stupid steve. neurotic nat. brat & stinky. bug as in shutterbug.

*explicit version will only be available on Ao3 & will be posted there after series is completed*

Note: cue the shenanigans of date stalking and taylor swift. Put your hands together for the real MVP of this chapter: Yelena.

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

Count: ~4.5k

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This week's philosophical question is: Is it gay to think about your best friend?

The short answer is no. The long, complicated answer is that it might be. 

There's logic and reasoning behind this because don't most people think about their best friend? Don't most people plan to have their best friend in the future? If not, then why would they be best friends in the first place?

Sadly, there's a rude awakening in Wanda's wobbly defense. Natasha is the only person to blame for blowing down her defense made of straw when Wanda chats with her on the phone in the evening while you're out for a photoshoot. 

"How's Maria doing?" Wanda asks.

"Good," Natasha answers, and Wanda can hear the tap water running and realizes the redhead is doing the dishes. "She'll be coming to visit during Christmas."

"Oh, you must be very excited!" Wanda beams. If it were her, she'd be ecstatic to be seeing you after so long. 

"Yeah, it'll be good to see her. I think she's bringing her girlfriend, Sharon. They've been seeing each other for a few months, and she doesn't have anyone to spend Christmas with since her grand-aunt passed away.

"Oh," Wanda's voice is low, brows furrowing. "That seems very fast if she's coming to spend a holiday with Maria. How do you feel about it?"

Natasha hums. "Happy, I guess? I haven't met Sharon, but I've been hearing good things about her. She's able to keep up with Maria's busy life as she's got her own, but they make time for each other."

"But what if Sharon's wrong for Maria, or Maria ends up getting hurt."

"Then I'll break Sharon's legs, but Maria's a big girl. I'll be there for her, but she'll be okay," Natasha chuckles.

"But—"

"Wanda, what's with the questions about Maria?" Natasha cuts off. "Is it something with Bug? Are you worried about Raye? She's told me they haven't even gone on a first date yet; why are you so worried?"

"It's not about that!" Wanda said defensively. "I mean—I am worried, but I just don't want her getting hurt. She's my best friend; she deserves someone perfect. Don't you want someone perfect for Maria?"

Even as the words came out of Wanda's mouth, she grimaced because she was nowhere near perfect herself. 

"Of course I do," Natasha sighs. "But unless Maria is hurting, I'm not going to get overly involved with her love life. She'll go at her own pace and update me as she goes."

"But how will you know if Maria is going to continue living away? If she gets serious with Sharon, will Maria still plan to move back here? How will you guys plan on having a wedding at the same time and picking a house in the same neighborhood?" Wanda asks seriously. Her tone is distraught because it feels like Natasha doesn't care about her best friend at all! 

There's a moment of silence on the other line before Natasha says, "We don't plan for that. I mean, I'll be bummed for sure if Maria doesn't move back but we'll always be best friends. We'll visit each other and keep in contact as often as we need, but we don't need to physically be in the same place."

And another realization slides into place. 

"How are you guys best friends?!" Wanda yells into the phone before she hangs up without another word. 

Wanda knows that she'll have to call Natasha later and apologize and say she's on her period or something, but right now, with her eyes hot and wet, she digs her face into her pillow and cries instead.

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"Hey, I need to head out for another shoot today. Do you want me to pick up anything for you?"

Your voice muffles through Wanda's closed door. You've come in a few times, but Wanda had stayed in bed and pretended that she might've been under the weather. 

"No," Wanda says loud enough so you can hear it. "Have fun, though."

"I'll be home soon and make you some paprikash, but there's some chicken soup in the fridge for you if you want some while I'm gone," you reply. Wanda momentarily hears your hand land on the doorknob, but you don't turn it and come in. "Feel better, brat."

You don't wait for Wanda's response even though it is a quiet, "Thanks, stinky."

Alone in the apartment once more, Wanda sighs. She's been all over the place emotionally since she last talked to Natasha on the phone. She later sent a voice memo through text apologizing and said her period just came, which explained all the craziness. Luckily, Natasha was kind enough to leave it be, but they haven't chatted much since then—mostly on Wanda's end. 

Wanda's been caught between wanting to spend more time with you and distancing herself while sorting through her feelings. It was so easy at that moment to leave Vision and feel intense jealousy of Raye, but now in their own little bubble, everything was unraveling like a poorly wrapped present. 

The only saving grace was that you and Raye couldn't align your schedules to go on a date anytime soon. Raye was out of state currently and was supposed to be traveling for work for the next few weeks, and you were confirming projects that were supposed to be for the entire month. 

The extra time was sorely appreciated. 

In short, Wanda has cried 8 times in the last week while equally getting the inspiration almost to confess 7 times. 

There was a nagging fear, though. What if you didn't feel the same? What if Wanda was reading this one gigantic sign wrong, and you simply just liked brunettes with green eyes?

Or, what if you did feel the same and things didn't work out? What if the two of you date, and it goes wonderfully well before it ends? It doesn't matter what causes the end; just what if it did?

In either scenario, things would never be the same, and Wanda would lose her best friend of 10 years. 

Although, Wanda reasons that even if she confessed and you didn't feel the same, she wouldn't actually lose you. Sure, things would never be quite the same, but the friendship would continue. They've endured much worse, and Wanda would probably get over her feelings. 

Probably. 

Because if she didn't, well, Wanda wouldn't know what to do. She's lived too long of her life with you; she can't think of what it'd be like without you. Logically, she knew she'd survive, but there'd always be a part of her missing. 

Sometimes, Wanda thinks there was always a part of her missing until the day she met you. She can still remember 10 years ago like it was yesterday.

"Wanda, it'll be fine," Pietro's accent was thick and heavy, and Wanda refused to say anything out loud to acknowledge it. 

The girls in her class were already making fun of her accent, and her attempts to talk to them were rebuffed with looks as if they couldn't believe she dared to speak to them. 

It was too difficult, Wanda thought. It was too difficult to make friends when she transferred here mid-year, and everyone had already formed their cliques since elementary.

It was hard enough with the growing changes in her 14-year-old body, and she already felt awkward all the time—the giggling behind her back and to her face wasn't helping. 

Wanda wanted to go back home to Sokovia, except there was nothing left to return to. The war had reduced everything to shambles, and everyone else in her family was happy to have been able to seek refuge in America—Rochester, specifically. 

Wanda knew she should be grateful, especially since many of her aunts, uncles, cousins, and other extended family couldn't escape. She never really had too many friends, but the few she did went to Canada, and she knew she'd unlikely ever talk to them again. 

It was a lot of change, and Pietro was the only person who understood her at this new school, but even he couldn't do much since they shared no classes together. Plus, Pietro had still managed to make a friend, and Wanda didn't have the heart to make him sit with her at lunch every day. 

"Do you want me to eat lunch with you? I can ask Sam to sit with us," Pietro offered, but Wanda shook her head. 

"Are you sure?" Pietro asked again, preparing to sit with Wanda anyway, but Wanda shook her head.

"No, it's fine. I'm just going to eat my lunch quick and head to the library to catch up on some assignments," Wanda mumbled quietly, waiting for some girls in her class to pass by before she said it. 

"Okay," Pietro said, sighing since he was conflicted about staying with his sister or heading off to hang out with his friend. But at Wanda's insistence, he merely told her where she could find him if there was anything and took off with one last glance.

When Pietro was fully out of sight, Wanda took a seat alone at an empty table, pulling out her lunch reluctantly. She was quick to notice that the American kids typically brought a plain sandwich or bought food from the cafeteria, which usually consisted of the same foods like pizza or mac and cheese. 

While the comments about the food she brought were also embarrassing, Wanda didn't have it in her to ask her mother to make something else. Money was tight, and asking to add other things to the grocery list just so she could fit in didn't seem worth it when it wouldn't do anything about the fact no one wanted to talk to her. 

So, Wanda pulled out the finomfőzelék with her breaded chicken breast. She still didn't open it and let her containers sit on the table. 

Wanda wasn't quite sure what was causing it. Maybe it was just this specific instance of sitting alone, or maybe it was the last week and a half of enduring this, but Wanda felt her eyes burn and water. She willed it with everything she had inside to not let it fall and took a deep breath. 

"Hi."

The sudden sound made Wanda's head snap up, eyes wide with surprise. You stood there, and Wanda sort of recognized you from her classes. She thought she shared all but one with you. You've never contributed to the bullying but never stopped it or talked to her, either. 

Wanda vaguely recalled you've been sick with a cold the last few days. Her eyes shifted to look behind you, and she could see your friends looking very confused and beckoning you to come back to their lunch table.

"Hi," Wanda quietly greeted you back, wincing at how the accent could even come out with one syllable. 

You sat down suddenly, clearing your throat. "Can I ask you something?"

"Okay," Wanda replied warily. 

"Do you practice witchcraft?"

The question stumped Wanda.

"What?" 

"Do you practice witchcraft?" You repeated, looking serious. 

"No," Wanda frowned, so perplexed that she couldn't even be upset about her accent. "I don't. Why would you think that?"

"Well, Hela has been spreading rumors that you're a witch from Sokovia, and that's why Mr. Coulson passed away suddenly when you came."

Then, it's suddenly so clear why no one has been talking to her. 

"But if you're not a witch cursing people to death, then that's cool," you said, interrupting Wanda's thoughts. "I wanted to ask you that earlier but then I got sick for a few days. So, do you want to hang out with me?"

Wanda just stared at you, her heart racing because finally, finally, she was going to have a friend. "Yes," Wanda replied quickly, smiling. "That'd be...cool," she repeated your slang. 

"Cool," you smiled back before pointing at her food. "Noticed you bring different food every other day. Can I try some? I'll trade you some of my sandwich. Heads up, though, my mom has been experimenting with food. This week was Chinese food, so beef and broccoli might be between the bread."

Wanda smiled at the memory, the ends of it tapering off. You changed her life, and even when Hela made fun of you, you shut her up with a comment about how she stuffed her bra. It was devastating to a 14-year-old. 

After that, the two of you were inseparable. You still occasionally hung out with your group of friends, but you definitely drifted to spend time with Wanda. 

Wanda wonders if it was actually at that moment that she fell in love with you, but at 14, she didn't know how else to interpret it other than friendship. 

You and Wanda didn't meet Nat, Steve, Bucky, and all the others until high school when the other districts were poured into one school. Since then, so much has happened. 

Your parents divorced.

Wanda's mother passed away from cancer. 

You dated Sam very briefly, giving him your first kiss and then shortly breaking up with him after. 

You came out to her, scared, hesitant, and so happy when Wanda didn't care. 

Wanda started to date Vision.

Wanda wanted to go to NYU, and you happily went there with her. 

You confessed you had a crush on Natasha but didn't want to pursue it. 

Wanda's first break-up with Vision. 

You dated Jean Grey and cried when she left you for Scott. 

When you wanted to stay in New York City, Wanda decided to stay here too, rooting her career here with you. 

Wanda wonders if maybe actually she'd fallen in love with you several times over and over but didn't know how to interpret any of her strong feelings for you, categorizing them as friendship just as she did when she was 14.

"I'm home!" 

Wanda hears the apartment door close and the shuffling of you taking off your shoes. She looks at the time and realizes two hours have already passed. Deciding that she's wallowed enough, Wanda decides to get out of bed and leave her room, running her fingers through her hair to tame it.

When she enters the kitchen, Wanda finds you starting the process of making paprikash. It's something you've always done for her when she's sick, feeling down, or homesick. Yet, in this moment, something swells inside Wanda's chest, and she wants to burst out crying again.

"Oh, hey," you turn around and smile as you see her, and Wanda clears her throat and blinks the tears quickly away.

"Hey," Wanda smiles back as she makes her way towards you. "You didn't have to do that, you know. I'm feeling better."

You open your arms for her to dive into a tight hug. You smell like clean laundry and mint, and Wanda wants to bottle your smell. The tension in Wanda lately starts to drain from her body as you rub her back comfortingly. 

"Some paprikash never hurt nobody," you joke. "I'm glad you're feeling better, though, brat. Is it the break-up with Vis?"

"Huh?" Wanda's brows furrow. "No, not really. I haven't really thought about it."

"Homesickness?"

"Er," Wanda fiddles with the back of your shirt. "Kinda, I guess."

"Well, good thing Thanksgiving is in a few months. Your dad and brother are coming here this year, right?"

Wanda nods, brightening at the thought of seeing her family. "Yes, I hope papa and Tony don't get into it again this year."

"I think your dad gets a sick sense of joy of torturing the son of man responsible for all the weapons that destroyed Sokovia," you say dryly. "I think Tony's starting to catch on he's not serious, though."

Wanda chuckles, and you pat her shoulders before you pull away and take out a knife and chopping board. Watch sits on the bar stool, watching you cook, letting things fall into a comfortable silence. 

This was everything, Wanda thought.

Nothing could ruin this moment, and Wanda thought long and hard, building up the courage to say something about her feelings. She wasn't sure what to say, so she might start with something flirtatious, but Wanda would say it more sensually instead of the usual joking tone. 

"Oh!" You say without looking at Wanda, chopping the onion and garlic. "I forgot to tell you. Raye's flying back in a few days before heading out again, and we planned a date this weekend."

Everything is ruined, and Wanda can't tell if the onion or the devastating news is causing her eyes to water.

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"Why did you bring me here?" Yelena hisses.

"Because I can't bring Natasha!" Wanda hisses back. "And be quiet or else they're going to hear us!"

"Why not Natasha? She's your other closest friend," Yelena says, quieter as she grumbles. "You're making me miss movie night with Kate. We're supposed to watch Insidious and you're ruining my chances of making fun of her being scared."

"Because," Wanda exasperatedly says. "I've already had a meltdown with Natasha, and she's going to make all sorts of comments if she knows I'm doing this now. I can't be here alone since this is the type of restaurant only couples go to."

"You think I won't make comments?" Yelena raises her brow at Wanda, looking frighteningly similar to Natasha at that moment. "I thought you grew out of stalking Bug's dates in university."

Wanda doesn't reply, too busy staring at your table. Raye is making some kind of flirty comment, reaching across the table and lacing your fingers through hers. You're laughing—Wanda can tell with how your shoulders shake. 

The restaurant you've chosen to take Raye to is a slightly upscale steak restaurant. You've ordered cocktails, a bottle of wine, and two appetizers to start. 

Raye's biting her bottom lip suggestively before she takes a sip of her wine, her index finger is stroking the back of your hand, and Wanda's wondering if she can bribe a waiter to spill a glass of beer on Raye accidentally. 

"Seriously, I know you're best friends, but this is out of hand. Just confess before Raye steals your girl and they get married."

Wanda whips her head back towards Yelena, eyes filled with indignation. 

"THEY WOULD NEVER—"

"SHHH," Yelena hisses, and they both have to hide behind their menus when you turn around and look. "Jesus Christ, Maximoff."

"They would never get married," Wanda huffs before peeking outside her menu to see that you've returned to your conversation with Raye. But then she turns back to Yelena. "You know about my feelings? Did you always know? Did you—"

"Shut up," Yelena groans. "No, I was just fishing, and you're the sucker I caught. I mean, was there a time I thought you guys were too close? Yes, but it eventually became normal."

The two of them put their menu's down when it's safe, and Yelena seems to be carefully planning how to explain her thoughts. 

"We've all accepted that you guys are very close, but you both kept dating different people—you specifically only dating boys and then Vision. It worked out that we were all going to NYU, but did you know that Bug had an offer to study abroad and do an internship that would've accelerated her graduation and then career?" Yelena carefully looks at Wanda's face.

"What?" Wanda frowns. She vaguely remembers you mentioning the program but recalled you dismissing it. You didn't tell her you were offered a spot in the program. "No, but I mean, she was building her online platform, and it was taking off. She didn't need to do an internship."

"No," Yelena agreed with a shrug, "but it wouldn't have hurt. I suspect she couldn't stand the idea of being away from you for a year. Just like how you turned down the job offer in LA at graduation when you knew she would stay in NYC."

"That wasn't—I just—" Wanda huffs. "I like where I am now. My work is flexible." 

"Yeah, but being in public relations, you could've been making twice the amount you are now," Yelena raises her brow again. "Although, at this point, I suspect you both chose adaptable careers in case one of you wanted to move to another city."

"That's not true," Wanda protests.

"Do you even like being a PR?" Yelena asks. "At least Bug loves photography. You, on the other hand, have a talent for PR, but it'd be just as easy for you to do anything else."

"I do like it," Wanda stresses. "It's easy, and the clients I've got keep me busy enough. Just because I don't spend all my time on it or talk about it doesn't mean I don't like it."

"But—"

"Enough talking, our food is coming, and you better be ready to leave at a moment's notice," Wanda cuts Yelena off as the waiter arrives and sets their food down. 

"Worst. Date. Ever," Yelena deadpans.

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As it turns out, Raye lives relatively close to the restaurant as you walk hand-in-hand back to her place.

And not too far behind, Wanda and a reluctant Yelena trail from a distance. 

"She's not going to Raye's house, is she?" Wanda whispers with a frown.

"Why not?" Yelena grunts, adjusting her leather jacket. "She has casual flings all the time, and by the looks of their date earlier, it went very well."

"Not. Helping," Wanda glares at Yelena. They enter a street filled with apartments, and Wanda is careful about not following too close and walking under the streetlights.

"This is psychotic," Yelena groans. "Can't we go home? I feel like a literal serial killer out here."

Wanda doesn't respond, just staring ahead as they continue to walk. You're swinging your hand back and forth, interlaced with Raye's. There's giggling, and Raye keeps leaning closer to say something to you. 

There's so much sexual tension that it's palpable from here, and Wanda wishes there was a serial killer out here. 

How was Wanda going to stop this? How was Wanda going to prevent you from going home with someone else?

Wanda picks up a small rock and chucks it hard toward your general direction, hoping to spook the two of you apart. Except, her aim is so terrible that it flies completely left and hits the car beside you instead.

The car alarm goes off, setting off flashing lights and a very, very loud beeping noise.

"Wanda, what the fuck—" Yelena is cut off when Wanda suddenly shoves her down into a bush and dives next to her. "Ow, you fucking—" Wanda slaps her hand over Yelena's mouth.

You and Raye look behind, completely perplexed, when no one is there. You try to check out the vehicle, but other than a small dent, nothing is wrong with the car otherwise. Since neither you nor Raye caused it, you continued walking.

It turns out Raye lived in the building just a few steps ahead. You both stand at the door, holding hands before Raye throws her arms around your neck, smirking. 

Wanda's about to pick up another rock when Raye moves in suddenly for a hot, searing kiss.

And when Wanda watches you kiss back, her hand goes slack. Something awful builds in the pit of her stomach, and there's nothing Wanda can do when she watches you go into the apartment. 

Yelena watches Wanda's crestfallen face and sighs. "Wanda—"

"Let's just get back to the car and go home," Wanda mutters as she stands up, not bothering to brush off the dirt, leaves, or twigs from her hair. 

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The car ride home is sickeningly pathetic—a new low for Wanda. 

"PLEASE DON'T BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. PLEASE DON'T HAVE SOMEBODY WAITING ON YOUUUU—" Wanda hoarsely cries out, tears streaming down her face. She's off-tune, and she's screaming more than she is singing. 

"Oh, god," Yelena sighs, bringing her hand to her face in embarrassment in the passenger seat. They've stopped at a red light, and the car beside them is staring at them strangely. "This is sad for even you, Maximoff."

Wanda doesn't even acknowledge that she heard Yelena, only belting out, "I'LL SPEND FOREVER WONDERING IF YOU KNEW—"

"Just kill me, just kill me, just crash this car and kill us both," Yelena mutters to herself. 

The house is dark when Wanda returns, not that it should be any surprise. Deep down, though, Wanda hoped you'd return home and somehow beat her to it. 

Wanda's eyes feel tired and raw from crying the entire way home. Yelena gave her a reluctant hug, mustering all her kindness into rubbing Wanda's back and kissing the crown of her head when it was buried in her friend's shoulder. 

Pulling out her phone, Wanda looks at her texts. One from work, a couple of Natasha, one from Vis, and one from Pietro. She stares at your name in her messages, but nothing comes even if she wills it. 

Instead, she shoots you a quick "hey :)" and puts her phone away. You'd unlikely answer, but Wanda couldn't help herself. 

Sighing, Wanda gets ready for the night, trying to not let her mind drift on what activities you and Raye could be doing.

Please let it be scrabble, please let it be scrabble, Wanda thinks as she finishes brushing her teeth. 

As she walks towards her room, she pauses. It's unlikely you'd return until tomorrow morning, maybe even noon. Biting her lip, Wanda turns and walks into your room instead, crawling into your bed under the sheets. She pulls the blanket up to her chin, inhaling your scent slowly.

It both comforts her and makes her heart twinge. 

After an hour, sleep falls upon Wanda easily, and she's nearly in a deep sleep when the lights suddenly turn on, and a yelp is heard.

Wanda wakes up suddenly, shooting up with her heart pounding that it's a robber, but it's just you standing at the door with your hand over your heart and chest heaving. 

"Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!" You scold Wanda. "I totally thought you were my sleep paralysis demon!"

Wanda rolls her eyes at the comment but frowns as you calm yourself and rummage through your closet for sleeping clothes. "What are you doing at home? I thought you were going to sleep over at Raye's."

"She got a call in the middle of everything. It was her sister or something having some kind of meltdown. Raye says her sister can be dramatic, and it happens once a month, but she couldn't really hang up. I got sleepy waiting, but I didn't wanna crash there to just sleep on a first date," you answer. 

"I'm sure you would've gotten some in the morning," Wanda mutters.

"I guess, but feels weird since it'd definitely be rushed," you take off your jacket and socks before heading to the bathroom. "It's fine, we'll probably reschedule for another date." 

"Perfect," Wanda sighs as she starts to get up. 

"Stay there, brat," you tell her as you stand at the door. "If you're gonna sleep in my bed, you better commit to the sleepover."

Wanda sticks her tongue out at you, which you return before you leave.

Tapping her fingers against the sheets, Wanda smiles. Maybe the night wasn't so hopeless after all. 

PART THREE

[strwberri-milk]

Hello! May I request head canons for Kaeya, Lyney, and Heizou (separate)? Semi angst where the reader asks him to help them practice their confession for the person that they love. The reason why they approached him is because he's the smoothest person they know. Once he thinks they're ready, they immediately confess to him. He thinks at first that it's another practice run, but then realizes they were being genuine. Just imagine the roller coaster of emotions for these bois😭. Tnx for ur time!

Kaeya knows he's a pretty good choice for practicing confessions on. He's very good with people and very good with his words so you're sure that if you were able to work with him, you'd be able to figure out the words you needed to say to him.

For a second, Kaeya feels his heart sink when you ask him for help. There's no way you'd be asking him to help you if you had feelings for him he thinks, meaning that this was the end of the road for him.

As you go over and over how to confess your feelings he does his best to give you unbiased pointers but he can't help but skew the way you confess to be something he'd want to hear from you. It's the only way he'll be able to hear you confess to him so he's going to take advantage of the situation.

When you turn around just to confess back to him his heart stops. He doesn't believe you, eye wide as he just stares at you. You sigh, biting your lip as you settle for Kaeya not actually returning your feelings.

You're about to turn and leave when he grabs your wrist, holding you to his chest as he shakes his head teasingly, scoffing at you for coming up with such an ingenious plan to get his attention. He is very happy though and he makes that known with how tight he's holding you.

Lyney doesn't tell you how he feels and is absolutely amazing at hiding how he really feels. You'd never get an inkling of how he actually feels, his magic skills good at not just card tricks.

When you come to ask him for help on how to confess, he decides to say yes. It doesn't seem like it'd be a bad idea, plus he gets to see if he can weasel out of you exactly who it is you're confessing to. He'd been trying for weeks for you to tell him who you liked when you first hinted at it but you were doing a great job at keeping it hidden from him.

He wishes that he could pretend that the confession you were practicing was actually how you felt about him. A part of him wants to just close his eyes and continue pretending that it is about him but right now he tries to remember that you asked him for help.

When you're just about ready to go confess to your "crush" he's about to try to stop and tell you that he's in love with you. Just as he's about to get the words out you end up interrupting him, hand on his chest making him go quiet.

You end up telling him the same things he helped you formulate just a few minutes ago, smiling brightly at him as the gears click together in his brain. He can't help but laugh at how your plan ended up working out perfectly for him, giving you a yes with a tight squeeze of your hand.

Heizou teases you a bit for asking him for help confessing to someone. He makes a few jokes about how you only asked him to help you because you've secretly had a crush the entire time. You immediately shoot it down, wanting to keep your plans a secret as you try to figure out what to tell him.

He doesn't make the process easy for you, pretend fawning and swooning over literally anything that you say. You try to get him to take it more seriously which he does, but not fully. You struggle a bit to fully "confess" to him but finally manage to get a few good runs in.

Heizou himself tries to separate himself from the situation, not wanting to let his personal feelings get in the way of actually giving you some good advice. Despite how he might feel about you, he doesn't want to actually ruin things for you just because of his own feelings.

Once you manage to get through a good confession a few times he gives you his seal of approval to go ahead and confess. He tells you too that you'd better tell him things went well or else you'll have to come back to him to do even more practice.

When you turn the words on him he gives an almost exasperated laugh. You can tell he means well when he starts laughing genuinely, bringing a hand to his face as he rolls his eyes a bit.

He makes a quip about being glad you got a good result after all, planning out your first date as he pulls you with him.

[anantaru]

GENSHIN + YOU’RE MY SPECIAL FRIEND

— ꒰ including ꒱ — albedo, ayato, kazuha, scaramouche, heizou x fem! reader

— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ex]plicit, fem! reader, friends w benefits, secret relationship, mentions of 'good girl' in albedos part

— ꒰ ALBEDO ꒱

as someone as occupied in his own research as albedo regularly was, you on the other hand, his assistant, would bend all of your own needs and time in order to be available whenever he required your cooperation.

if you had not allowed yourself to fall victim to his natural charms, his bewitching eyes and way of speech, you'd surely detest an unprofessional relationship as the two of you were currently involved in between each other.

despite the judgment of your rational voice, you'd never ditch the chance to taste his tongue on your sizzling cunt whenever he urged you to lay down on his desk, aptly licking his hungry lips while you're opening your legs like a good, clever girl so he can suitably grind his mouth into your pussy.

"aah— albedo, wait!" you whine with a lilt of unlimited longing fizzling in your lower belly, "break time is almost over." your hand smoothed over his silky locks when he pulled his head up from in between your quivering thighs, casually sweeping your slick off his mouth with his sleeve.

"it is certainly lively outside." he's pointing out the loud chatters and noises from behind the door while leaving his eyes to skim through the empty room.

"but i do not hear any footsteps." he notes and no matter how often you'd spend time with your boss, who was also the guy who'd fuck you silly each night, you never got him figured out once.

you only nod in agreement and despite aiming at the obvious— it being the shortened time the both of you had left, albedo did not falter to lower his lips back on your puffy cunt, the rough tip of his tongue bordering precise strokes on your pussy, pulling at your folds.

"fuck—" you're arching your spine off the cold table, "right there!" and it made you feel barer, more open for him to have a better play on your weeping cunt, after all, for albedo your tasty slick felt like honey dropping down on his wet muscle, "faster!"

his face was solidly pressed in between your clamping thighs, you almost felt a bit silly by how riled up he had gotten you by now, how his mouth rolled up and down your naked core while wholly glazing his cheeks with your gooey slick.

albedo doesn't care, it's natural in his eyes. your liquids, he wanted to swallow it all.

the slight concern of time running out on you was erstwhile buried into the deepest corners of your brain, how could it not when he was that bloody good at this. and you love it, always do always will.

— ꒰ AYATO ꒱

there's not much to say when it comes to the quite, lets say, special— as well as riveting relationship that ayato and you were in.

he has devised your visits strategically and added them onto his active work life, it almost felt like he had someone else to formulate all your meetings together— since they had always been perfectly appended to each of your own doings.

ayato was readjusting his body on top of yours, determinedly delving your legs into your chest as he loomed over you with keen eyes.

"does it feel good when i do that?" you can feel his breath against your lips when he wiggled his hips a little deeper into your core, "or that?" fuck, you almost wanted to shove him into the mattress yourself and ride him mindless but you couldn't, not when he was that good at taking the lead.

"y— yes!" the sudden switch in his strokes drowned the words in your throat, and though his ruts weren't fast, they were all the more deeper and precise, battering each and every drumming blotch in your warm tingling insides.

"what a shame that i can only meet you like this."

his sentence was sudden— and a bit cheesy, you weren't sure if you had imagined it in the heat of the moment. "wha— what?"

your fingers slowly ran up from his shoulders to his sharp jawline when you cradled his left cheek to make him look at you, but ayato didn't speak nor elaborate on his words, even when you asked him once more.

rather did he now indulge in your soft hand on his face, your touch seemed so loving and felt so warm, a weak whine spilling like a subdued chime into your ears. He placed his lips on top of yours and soothed your trembling thighs with slow, benign circles.

every raw drag of his imposing girth had your hole insatiably clench down on him, you could feel your core jammed of his cock, crying out his name which would always fill him with great pride.

it was all the way exhilarating when he began to control your body, bit by bit, when his cock fiercely rubbed all the squealing words out of your straining throat.

his thrusts are calculated, relentless in their sweet ministrations. He eyed the white liquid around his girth when he pulled his cock out— but leaving his tip in, observing how you stammered after each beg, pouted your lips so he'd fill you up again.

— ꒰ KAZUHA ꒱

kazuha was an independent human being who had always dreamed of traveling all across the various nations of teyvat and taking in its beauty.

there was so much to admire about him, really.

however, it wasn't as if he didn't ever think about entering a serious relationship with someone, the thought clearly didn't put him off or anything because if he ever so desired it, it'd be with no other than you.

yet right now, the little thing you both had going on was more than enough in his eyes.

"ah—" he's awkwardly clearing his throat when he noticed your lips tightly seal around his flushed tip, "you're quite impatient tonight." he notes, after all you had him breathless under you, words failing to be spoken out by him when he greeted you with a gentle smile instead.

you're confidently latching onto his cock and turning his body to nothing but jelly while you're gingerly suckling into the sensitive skin.

your fingers travelled from his stiff length to his balls, holding them in your palm. You're toying with kazuha, tracing little heart shapes over his skin when you retorted back in abruptly sliding him down your warm mouth, impatiently gushing around his girth.

kazuha feels your tongue again and his mind rewires, he was squirming and gripping the damp sheets under him, watching you hide his cock in your mouth, over and over, your dainty hand carefully pummeling his balls to add to the coil forming in his belly.

"mhh—" you're humming while looking nothing but innocent, curling your tongue around the rough edges of his cock. You can feel him poke into your throat and how the corners of your lips shimmered with his arousal.

that combining curl, of your corked, pretty lips sloppily guzzling his pre while you're hollowing your cheeks to have it your way, to have his mind corrupted and mind wrapped around the tip of your finger.

kazuha was a thimbleful away to his striking release and he didn't wanted to waste it, not tonight when you've been so good to him, instead he longed to cum all over your burning throat and cover your flesh with a treacly, milky white.

— ꒰ SCARAMOUCHE ꒱

that little gasp you always let out whenever scaramouche first jostled his erect cock past your entrance, one inch— and another, while his middle finger meticulously outlined the contours of your smoldering clit.

could it be due to the fact that you barely saw him as it was? maybe that‘s what made the alluring mischiefs between you both all the more exciting to begin with.

scaramouche only ever decided to come over at your place whenever he had gotten a bit too frustrated over the weeks, maybe angry, as well as bored or (which mostly was the case) all three of those combined into one big flock of rustling emotions.

"what’s wrong?" he’s phony to you, he likes how you roll your eyes whenever he’s a brat to you on purpose.

his spoken words too, had a hidden meaning behind them, but it didn‘t feel bad, the passion was there and so was the rest of the affection— a fervor he had been put out on sight for you.

"m— more please." the shadow of his eyes made you shudder, his looks alone had you in a chokehold— in a daze of refined elation.

those two words you had spelled out, but the way you said it, lewd and between vicious cries, it had scaramouche heavily burn into his own pride, because he needed that confirmation from you.

"oh, really now?" he clicks his tongue, "but of course, anything you want."

his arms hug around your head when he continued to pistole his length into you, turn the swollen, thick tip of his cock further into your hole and send it pummeling through your mushy skin.

you were comfortable under him and pressed your face into his shoulder, your mouth slacked and your throat clamped together. If you did try to sob or squeal at him now, it‘ll sting, so so much you just wanted to tell him how great he fucked you right now and how you deserved to cum already.

at another harsh blow of his hips, the noises of your little pussy grew mushy and wet— the whole thing was disgustingly ravenous and you felt it all, each rill and curve of his cock, thighs clamping down on either side of him when he growled out at the heavy tightness.

how dare you feel so fucking good and how dare your walls clung on his girth him like that? as if you're actually made for him and only him.

"fuck— fuck." his body reacted on its own and he growls at your constricting hole, shoving his face into your neck to hide his— in his words, embarrassing expression, "you better stop doing that!"

— ꒰ HEIZOU ꒱

shikanoin heizou to you, was like a chocolate bar in the fridge, you can take it out whenever you wanted and put it right back where it belonged the second you had satisfied your cravings.

he's nothing but a convenience, something you never quite believed was for you to find him more than just alluring, he was a menace and almost instantly, when his rough hands polish over your skin, your back arches into his sweltering touch.

everything simply felt like it was way too much, you were barely able to seethe of the heftiness on heizou's cock in you.

you hiccup in midst your own wordings, more when he suddenly began to pinch your little clit in step with his thrusts, again and again— you feel hot and throbbing, it stung when he lightly twirled the flesh in between his finger tips.

"heizou— heizou!" the force of his hammering into you had you clamp your hands against his back, your nails scratching alongside the outlines of his burning muscles.

you thought you were certainly going to end up mindless by the realization of his skin meeting your own way faster— better and all the more precise.

"i can't hear you." he coos, noticing how you're clenching down, muscles tensing and then letting go, again, your puffy clit shimmering with your own arousal. "you're doing too— too much."

heizou gave your clit a couple thumps with his hand, smacking the smoldering flesh, not too hard, he actually just wanted to see how you'd react.

now after his words, his intrusion into you had been lowered, slow, painfully slow but wasn't that what you wanted? even if you were to say to him to pick up the pace again, he wouldn't do it, because you lost your privileges to order him around.

because you see, heizou was letting you feel everything now— he's leaving his cock inside, listening to your strangled moans of his name when you sobbed at every vein, jump of his curves and scream when he almost bottomed out again.

"what's the matter? i'm doing what you say." he purrs and muffles himself into your neck to have his lips on the same height as your ear.

"but you can always beg me to go faster, maybe i'll listen."

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[polarisjisung]

cherry flavoured

05— WALK YOU HOME

SYNOPSIS: y/n, the campuses notorious heartbreaker, had never been one to settle down, running from the word commitment since the concept had first been introduced to her, but one smile and a little cherry coke seems to do just the trick when she runs into captain of the dance team, park jisung

PAIRING : dancer!jisung x fem!reader

jisung knew it wasn't healthy, the way he was so focused on getting his routine perfect, the one move he just couldn't get down occupying his mind, the image of him messing up every single time imprinted into his brain

dancing, for him at least, had always been relaxing, until he was voted in as captain of the dance team— now the responsibility weighed down on his shoulders and the expectation to be perfect and a flawless dancer didn't seem to alleviate the situation

on nights like these jisung wished he hadn't lied to his friends saying he was just working on a project in the library, or going on a walk, he wished he had an outlet, someone who'd save him from himself when the tears would brim in his eyes and reassure him that what he was doing was enough— he didn't want to be left alone in these moments no matter how many times he said it but he couldn't blame the guys when they'd never even known anything was wrong

just this once, jisung convinces himself a quick walk about campus will do enough to clear his head before he heads home, but the squeaking of worn out trainers against a freshly cleaned court seems to grab his attention

he'd seen her a couple times since the party, somehow always in the 02 jersey she wore around campus, exchanging smiles every so often, but never actually on the court

her red hair is tied back into a loose ponytail, one that swings with her every move, the orange tinge of a ball faintly visible in her hands as she makes an aim for the hoop above her once again and despite the ball bouncing back down through the net successfully, she doesn't seem satisfied— jisung wonders if she had an outlet, someone who'd take her away from the self critiquing thoughts that circulated her mind

he doesn't know when, or why, perhaps the similarity of their situations, he assumes, but he finds himself walking her way, tired feet softly treading on the maple floors

"I didn't think I'd find anyone else on campus" he says, unsure what to say to you when you turns to face him, sweat dripping down your face, a barely visible red flush spreading across your features

his own blue hair is matted to his forehead, a pair of loose black trackpants and white shirt doing more than enough to tell you he had been practising too— the sight has you choking back on your words, unable to formulate sentences with him stood in front of you like this

"how long have you been here?" he asks, slight worry creeping through his tone, you feel the heat rise up to your cheeks again and smile

"I only got here at around 7" you sigh, dribbling the ball, "what about you?"

jisung doesn't seem to even want to respond to your question, eyes wide in shock as he grabs your hand and leads you off the court

"it's reaching on midnight you know" he flashes his phone screen, "you can always practise another day, don't overwork yourself"

jisungs words are so genuine you find yourself wishing you'd come across him before, lips threatening to curl upwards when you realise his hand still grips yours tightly

but before you can reply, a loud rumble from your stomach has you crouching down in embarrassment

"I take it you haven't eaten" you smile his way shyly, shaking your head when he chuckles again, the same deep hoarse chuckle from somewhere in the back of his throat that has your stomach tied up in knots

"I haven't either, let's grab something and I'll walk you home?"

you don't realise you've barely even said anything, too concentrated on hearing the words fall from his lips, basking in the warmth of his speech

"sounds good pretty boy" he pulls you up, finally letting go of your hand, the cool air hitting your sweaty palm as you walk side by side— your basketball tucked safely between your waist as the boy next to you wordlessly took hold of your bag

prev | masterlist | next

NOTES: I just wanna incorporate more dancer jisung 😔

TAGLIST (open): @jenobubbles @justalildumpling @jising-jisang-jisung @nanawrlds @222brainrot @chichiuu @dinonuguaegi @ishireads @yyy90210 @hibernatinghamster @stqrrian @makiswrld @everywonuu @marizhua @luumiinaa @asteriaskingdom @jeongintwt @90s-belladonna

[oddballwriter]

Moon Boys with a Trans Reader

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Warnings: some mentions of dysphoria and transphobia from others 

Author’s Snip: I just had this idea come into my mind randomly last night and I almost got up just to write it but it was already hella late and I'm working on trying to wake up early for my upcoming semester. Thankfully I managed to remember just now so I'm writing it now.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Steven Grant

Our sweetie man <3

I know I always say this but I feel like with Steven, but I feel like learning something and researching something about you or what you like is sort of a love language/show of affection and caring

So when he meets you (or you come out as trans to him) he takes time to learn some things so that you can feel more comfortable and also works on saying things properly like getting your pronouns right and the like

Steven always compliments people but he makes sure to compliment you the most. You always hear the words "beautiful/handsome" and "lovely/dashing" coming out of him

If he ever sees you looking at yourself in the mirror to check your outfit and you look slightly unsure about how you feel about it then he comes up behind you says you look great in it

If you ever feel dysphoric and have one of those days where you just don't feel like your body is reflecting who you are right, he understands in the best way he can and consoles you

"I still think you're beautiful/handsome. And it's okay if you aren't feeling that way today. You'll always be great to me."

If anyone misgenders you or uses the wrong pronouns while he's with you, he politely and quickly corrects them. He doesn't want to formulate it like they did it on purpose, he just does it quietly

He will, however, although not a fan of confrontation, tell someone to act properly if they're causing problems

Marc Spector

He's also really great

Marc takes a bit of time getting used to everything but that's just because he wants to make sure that he doesn't do anything that hurts you or makes you upset

He tries his best to help you with dysphoria and any other issues that you deal with as a trans person

"You're a woman/man to me. And, wow, are you a pretty/handsome one."

The flirt seems a bit out there but he's trying to help you by letting you know that your identity is valid to him and that he sees you in that light and always will

Not afraid to break someone's nose if they call you something nasty or say something

This man would get into a full on fist fight for you and he means that

Marc hardly speaks how he feels, except for when he thinks you look pretty and hot, which is all the time. The only emotion he voices is his attraction to you

In case someone does a double take because you don't have a corresponding voice to your appearance yet, he looks at them with a stern "What? You have a problem?" face

Jake Lockley

Marc would get in a fist fight with a transphobe... but Jake would get in a knife fight

Jake takes it upon himself to protect you if need be. Not saying that Steven and Marc wouldn't protect you too but with Jake all he really knows how to do outside of be your loving boyfriend is be a guard dog

It's his Ken job /j

If you ever feel dysphoric he places you in front of a mirror, points at your reflection, and goes "You know what I see? A hot ass woman/man. And I get to see her/him all the time."

He buys you a lot of things. Like clothes that you enjoy, perfumes/cologne, all the things you could want and make you feel more like you

Flirting comes naturally to him and he frequently calls you pretty, of course in Spanish and english

Makes it clear to everyone that you're a woman/man and if someone says something then we've already established what he'll do

[zac--zappy]

🆅🅴🅻🆅🅴🆃🆃🅴 × 🅲🅰🆁🅼🅸🅻🅻🅰 (♂️)

They are certainly a problematic couple, based on Velvette teasing Carmilla and Carmilla frustrated giving in to provocations.

However, I see a lot of potential tenderness, once an effective relationship is made.

🗡️ `📱⇢︎ #Velmilla

It's Carmilla who has the gender change, I see her better.

Velvette is the kind of person who takes what she wants, she doesn't care if he's a powerful man who can't stand her, after all it's not like she imagines she wants more than one fuck.

‌I don't even know how to get it started, because the only thing I can think of is that during the song, when they come face to face, both times, Velvette feels like she's lost her breath, for some reason she scrambles him from head to toe, finding him attractive despite the prying words he just formulated.

‌So, confused, she decides to leave the scene, especially after the debate, returning to the tower with the mood under her shoes and the desire to make someone, but not someone by chance, she realizes it when among all Valentino's sluts she does not find a single person to her liking and doing it alone she finds herself thinking about that Hispanic Carmilla, paralyzing herself in frustration after coming fantasizing about him.

She wonders how the fuck is possible, he's never liked bigger men, not to mention that he in particular is on his cock. Look to Valentino for advice.

‌Really bad choice, she asks him how it is possible that sexual tastes can change suddenly, but he answers something like a fucking dog, with vulgarity, but maybe he also hints at something logical and credible.

‌❝ Let's say it can vary, from how the said person treats you, from the physique or body language, we can say that sexual appetite is extremely subjective and instinctive, you can't control it, it's your arousal that slams you in the face that you have no choice you would like to fuck yourself on ❞.

Val doesn't say anything out of the ordinary, he basically tells her that if she wants to get someone she shouldn't have any problems and go for it.

‌❝ Hey Val doesn't say anything out of the ordinary, he basically tells her that if she wants to get someone she shouldn't have any problems and go for it. Come on... You're one of the three V's, do you want to come and tell me that this asshole isn't dying to be inside you? Should I gouge out his eyes and give him new ones?! ❞.

‌As Val begins to get caught up in her ego, she sighs, thanking him more or less, going off to work without having understood much about the situation, only somehow, she wants and needs to have a night with that arms dealer.

‌She tries to get away with it, thinking about something else, working, trying to fuck someone, but her head always comes back to him, from the exciting smell she smelled when they were close, to his hands squeezing her, to her voice that could take on a Spanish accent at any moment.

‌But how do you organize a fuck with a person with whom you have been fighting for less than two days? Simple!

‌YOU HAVE TO BLACKMAIL HER WITH SOMETHING OF HIGH RELEVANCE!

‌So, having used a Vox contraption as a bug camera, she too is aware that he was the one who ended the exorcist's life and rather than make this information a step forward in the war against heaven, she uses it to approach Carmilla and ask to be received, she alone.

‌Carmilla, although wary, accepts, finding herself face to face with the demon of social media, who immediately reveals her cards, saying she knows what she did and why, leaving him stunned and without aces to play.

‌❝ What do you want from me? ❞.

‌ “ Nothing that any damn wouldn't want ”.

‌ Carmilla doesn't understand, Velvette sighs, pinching her own nose desperately, heading to his side of the table. Suspicious and angry, he immediately gets up from his chair, but a second later he finds himself pressing his hands on the desk to avoid bumping into our faces, having been pulled by the tie.

‌❝ What the heck ?! ❞

‌ Carmine realizes he's on top of her, her ass sticking to his own cock, leaving him shocked and perplexed.

‌She is so small that she almost disappears under him, who just doesn't know what to say.

‌“ I want this, Mr. No War, or have you forgotten how to do it? ”

‌❝ No way ! ❞ He pulls himself up but, suddenly, Velvette brings him back to the desk, rolling his slender legs to Carmine's hips, again towering over his figure.

‌ “ Do you really want to risk your daughters for a fuck? ”

‌He gnashes his teeth, bringing up his daughters was the right move, and so he starts in fifth, throwing his hands at her hips to put her at ninety, but being stopped by a kick that throws him back on the chair.

‌“ Take it easy sample ”. Velvette moves his chair closer to the desk before plunging onto his lap and running her fingers from chest to throat, while laughing, pinching his cheek.

‌“ I want you to give me your best, if I'm not satisfied I might as well reconsider my offer of silence, so avoid that disgusted face and stick your tongue out, now."

‌He reluctantly sticks out his tongue and she immediately runs her tongue over it, sucking it before actually kissing him, while she plants her fingers in his shoulders and he clings to his chair, his nails clawed to the arms of the same, shaken and out of shape in the context.

(as he hasn't had sex in years, busy with his own business and the responsibilities that come with his every choice).

‌Velvette flusters as she hears the guttural moan rising from his throat as she unrolls her tongue into his mouth, but gets irritated that her hands couldn't be in a worse place, not on her.

‌She snorts, "Put those fucking hands on me."

‌Despite the opposition, Carmilla can't lie to himself, he realizes that he feels a confusing mix of anger, chaos and excitement, but he also feels wanted, not to mention the fact that Velvette is not ugly at all, quite the contrary.

‌So he resigns hisself and slides his hands behind her back, continuing the kiss, but V is not satisfied, she wants more and takes him, placing her hands on his butt while she starts to sway the same, looking for some interesting reaction from the man.

‌The situation is getting complicated, at the moment they don't have the right physicality, but it doesn't matter. He tells himself that the sooner he does it, the sooner she'll leave, so when Velvette goes to her neck he teases her nipples, inducing her to take the next step, which is to slide between his legs as soon as he senses Carmilla's daughters coming.

‌Now on the ground she rubs her cheek against his member through his pants, when his daughters enter he panics giving her an excited look; He tries to hold her by putting a hand on her face, covering it all. But she is not easy to restrain and taking Carmine's hand she gives us a slow, eager lick, meandering her tongue between his fingers.

‌The daughters talk but it's as if he doesn't exist, now provoked and exasperated, feeling Velvette's lips on his own length and then a light bite on his thigh. He almost gasps.

‌Somehow the man gets rid of his daughters and as soon as they come out, he pulls Velvette to her feet with blue fur, but remains seated.

‌❝ What pops into your head?! ❞ In response, she snorts and points to his very visible erection.

‌“ Stop preaching daddy, is it really that exciting to be discovered by your daughters ? Pervert... ”.

‌He can't help but look away, frustrated, feeling like his own executioner.

‌❝ N-It's not me... Is it you ❞

‌Velvette smiles mischievously, placing her hands on his knees. “ I... Do you want to tell me that I'm good enough to make you hard unwillingly ? ”.

‌He growls but before he can open his mouth Velvette starts with another kiss, suddenly ripping off the front of his bodysuit and then unbuttoning his shirt, being able to admire his muscles and fiddle with his pecs and abs.

‌Carmilla acts indifferent but by now it is clear that a part of him wants her, so while she enjoys teasing him, Carmilla grabs his face and kisses her, Standing up only to turn her around and make her feel it against her back.

‌ Velvet suddenly shudders, for the first time since the beginning of that game she is not in charge. This is particularly exciting.

‌ Camilla starts by taking off her fur, running her hands along her back, moving her hair around so she can admire her better.

‌ Velvet, for her part, lies completely on the man's desk, dangling her hips to encourage him to continue.

At this point, Carmilla tears off the upper part of her bodysuit, already crumpled In any case, being able to comfortably take off her pants up to her thighs, grab Velvet by the thighs and place her on the desk in such a way as to leave her with her legs dangling.

‌She protests that she can't do much.

‌ Carmilla places a hand on her back, helping to remove her pants and underwear. It's not long before the actual sex begins, and neither of them knows what to say anymore except panting.

FROM HERE ON YOU CAN IMAGINE..

Art by @hawkeyyee

[slavghoul]

Phantomime is the band's third album of covers, after If You Have Ghosts and Popestar. Cover songs are usually the preserve of young, inexperienced bands. Is doing covers a way to maintain a link with your formative years and not forget where you come from?

Tobias Forge: Absolutely. I think it does that. It serves as a return to the roots, in the same way as for... I don't know, let's say someone who practices martial arts, who starts in a certain dojo and ends up changing it. If you want to become a good fighter, you have to move and train with different people. It's the same for a footballer: if you play with the same team all the time, your team might be very good, but you always have to play against others. I think the same logic applies with covers: it can help to go back. You don't necessarily have to release them. We chose to do a real album, but in parallel I worked on other songs - not only Impera music, but other covers. We selected the best ones, and said, "Let's put these out; this looks coherent and presentable".

How much did learning to play other artists' songs contribute to your formation as a musician? What were the most formative songs in your youth?

The answer to the first question is yes. Listening and playing at the same time is very formative. I've never really been... A lot of guitarists, especially, take the time to read tablature and learn how to play something very precisely, and in my opinion, theorise the music too much. I can't say that I'm not theoretical; I just don't follow the rules or the classic terminology. I try to categorise and understand the logic, but I do it in my own way, based on what I have learned over time. I never spent much time with tablature; I just played to the music. I would put the music on and play. I wasn't trying to learn how to play the song in the same way as the band. I would play as if I were invited to play with them. So my style is very free, because I played The Doors as well as Kiss, Slayer and DJ Bobo! It could be anything. Whatever I heard, whatever I listened to, whatever song I could get my hands on, I would play it. I think the chaos of it all made it... When you understand that, you understand the way I write, the way I do things, and why I sometimes seem to be a bit scattered.

That's what may surprise you when you listen to the EP: you can find Iron Maiden as well as Tina Turner...

Yes, I grew up with both, so it's not strange to me. But of course, in order to go from just wanting to do something to a homogeneous work that is supposed to have some commercial appeal, you have to make decisions. One of those decisions was, "If we're going to do this Tina Turner song, it really needs to be punchy." It's supposed to be a rock EP, it's got to be set to 10. I think that's what sets this cover apart from the moose. By the way, thematically, I didn't think of it as 'a Tina Turner cover', but as 'the Mad Max song'. It fits with the times we're living in.

Phantomime features a cover of Iron Maiden's "Phantom Of The Opera". Two years ago, you also recorded a version of Metallica's "Enter Sandman" for the Blacklist compilation. In rock, people like to pit the Rolling Stones against the Beatles, and I think the metal world tends to do the same thing with Metallica and Iron Maiden. Do you feel more affinity with Metallica or with Maiden?

[He thinks] Good question. I'm trying to formulate a coherent answer. I think... It's so fifty-fifty. Both. Not just in terms of inspiration, but in terms of their whole careers, especially when I was a kid. In many ways, like many fans of both bands, there's a cut-off date where my interest in new music started to wane. But I have such a love for everything they did before that it doesn't really matter. The limit is basically the Black Album and Fear Of The Dark. I mean, I like The X Factor, and Brave New World was an absolutely great comeback album. But as a kid and a teenager, settling down with Live After Death was such an inspiration - not just for what I was hearing, but for the tour dates and everything to do with that. Same with Metallica and the Black Album. That was the first time I saw them, and it was the first time I was confronted with commercial greatness in metal, when a band is on top. It's happening now, they're the biggest band of all time. They're playing in such and such an arena, but when they come back next year, they'll be doing such and such a stadium. Even back then, I had a hunch that not only were they great, but they were doing well in life. These guys are getting richer by the hour [laughs]. That's the kind of thing that matters when you're twelve. "And imagine all the girls they get!" That kind of nonsense.

And of course, these bands inspired me musically and professionally and brought me a lot of joy, but they also became mentors in my professional life. I have so much gratitude and respect for those two bands. If I were to be super picky and specific, I would say that since we are a more melodic band, we are probably closer to Maiden. Metallica is more of a "speed" band, I think. To be honest, what I've always liked most about Metallica, and especially on my favourite albums, which are a lot of people's favourites, is not the speed. The speed and the violence on those albums are just added value. The reason their music was so great in the 80s was because it was so melodic. It's the melodies. What changed in the 90s was that they stopped the melodies. They became a blues band, and all of a sudden all the movements were different. It wasn't neoclassical like in the 80s or on the Black Album. I'm very neoclassical myself, that's why I feel so close to the melodic side of Metallica. On the other hand, I spent my teenage years listening to death and black metal, so I love big riffs and speed and stuff like that, but that's not what we do with Ghost.

For a long time, fans have been asking who could be the Maiden or Metallica of tomorrow. Considering the impressive success of Ghost, do you think you have an answer to that question?

Obviously, I know that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg will die one day, but I don't think Wes Anderson or Quentin Tarantino can be considered as a replacement. These directors don't have that much in common, but you know what I mean, I hope. I don't see us as taking their place. You know, I try to be as transparent as possible. What I do is very much inspired by those two bands. I try to do it in a different way, and with respect. But of course, from a practical point of view, when the day comes when there's no more Iron Maiden and you want to see a rock concert with staging and solos, you can come and see us. It's a very curious concept, but it's obviously relevant, because we live in a time when the previous generation is disappearing one after the other. I think Lars [Ulrich] and James [Hetfield] have spoken about how the physicality of their music is not the same as the Rolling Stones. Charlie [Watts] playing the way he played when he was seventy-nine or eighty, it's nothing like what's expected of Lars. And what is expected of James is also very different from what is expected of Keith Richards, with his very open chord style. The meticulousness of James' riffs and Kirk's solos can be difficult to achieve at eighty - and they're approaching sixty. Kirk already has them, by the way. So, as much as I don't want to think about it or remind people, nothing lasts forever. Sooner or later, fans are going to have to decide which bands they want to go see, because a lot of the people they grew up with won't be around anymore.

Your cover of "Enter Sandman" was very "ghostified", while "Phantom Of The Opera" is more faithful to the original in comparison. How do you decide how to approach a cover? Are there songs that offer more latitude in terms of arrangement and appropriation, and others less?

There are several factors, which differ from song to song, and the result can therefore be different. If you go back in time and take "Waiting For The Night", for example, I always thought that song in its original form... Obviously it's cool, but I thought there was a bigger song underneath. In the original, it's diffuse, vague, underlying. The chords are just hinted at, and the vocals suggest that you can build something bigger around it. When I did the cover with Dave Grohl, he asked me, "Can we do a really slow version of it like Trouble?" I said, "Yeah, that sounds cool." And of course, working with Dave Grohl, it seemed like a good idea at the time. In the end, we thought it was too slow, too heavy and too long. It was a good idea, but the result was not very convincing.

Enter Sandman' and 'Phantom Of The Opera' were conceived in two different ways. If someone had asked me to do a Metallica tribute, I would have accepted, but I would never have chosen 'Enter Sandman', in the same way that few people would choose 'Paranoid' or 'Smoke On The Water'. You automatically try not to pick the biggest hit. But in this case, it was Swedish television that asked me to play. It was for a music award, and they said: "Since Ghost and Metallica are close, you are seen as friends, so you should open the show. And we want you to play their biggest song, 'Enter Sandman'." I asked, "Do I have a choice?" And they said, "Not really! We want you to do it, otherwise we have to rethink the whole show. Could you think about it?" OK, I'll think about it and see what I can do. So I started to play the song and see what I could get out of it. The original structure of the song is very simple, and the melody, like "Waiting For The Night", suggests chords that they don't play. All I had to do was see which chord suggested the melody and fill in the gaps. I ended up with a five-minute arrangement. If I sing the melody with a guitar, this is what chords it suggests. That's the somewhat academic version of the song. I was at the stage where I had a completely different version of the song, and I recorded it and thought, "Fuck, I hope James doesn't hate it..." Because I don't want to disappoint anyone. It's supposed to be a tribute. My version was like, "You guys have all my love, but I was forced to do this! And in the end, the result was great.

"Phantom Of The Opera' was a bit different. I knew I wanted to cover a Maiden song, but not just anything, of course. I wasn't going to do 'The Number Of The Beast'. I've had fun with 'Phantom' in the past, because it's a long song and quite complicated. As a musician, it's quite common to sit on the couch and try to figure out a riff. What are they doing there? [What's the rhythm? How are they counting? Because I couldn't hear the beat. And suddenly, once I understood how the beat works in this song [he sings the riff while snapping his fingers], I thought: "Wow, you can't hear that at all on the record. You can't hear anything, it's just a controlled mess." I managed to figure out how to play other elements of the song, and I was like, "Now I have a reason to record it. Not because I want to improve it, but to come up with a different version where you can clearly hear the different parts." First of all, it was a personal experiment in the studio. I wanted to record it to see what it sounded like, and suddenly, after working on it for a few hours, doubling the guitars, adding the drums and playing everything perfectly with metronomic precision, the track was different and a bit updated, so to speak. So I said to myself, "I'm going to take the gamble of covering this song, and see what happens. It seemed like a good reason. I'm not saying my version is better, I'm just saying it's different. There's a bit more contrast and fluidity, you can hear the different elements better. It underlines how good the song is.

Phantomime's covers also include Genesis' 'Jesus He Knows Me'. Genesis is a rather peculiar band, which started out in progressive rock and ended up with huge radio hits. Do you find yourself in this ambiguity, in this duality?

Yes, I do. The other band on that level that did something similar is Pink Floyd. In the beginning, their music was really strange, really eccentric, and then they became more and more pop as the albums went on. People still mistakenly think they're a prog band, whereas 'Wish You Were Here' is really just a series of four pop songs stretched to the max. Not only am I very inspired by that, but I also feel an affinity with that kind of thing. You try to come up with variations of the traditional, if you like. You try to change the form, to present elements that people know in a different way. It's a bit like running a fusion restaurant and offering an Asian-inspired onion soup and adding coriander to the dish. It's still recognisable, but you try to make the recipe different. Another analogy is Stanley Kubrick, who told stories that weren't very complicated, but presented them in an epic way because of their façade - literally. It was the choice of set and costume and the attention to detail that made the difference. That's why, as a composer, I always try to go back to the simplicity of the writing; the simplicity of 'Another Brick In The Wall'; the simplicity of 'Comfortably Numb'. It sounds like a huge, epic song, but it's not complicated at all. They have a lot of songs like that. For a lot of songs in the Genesis catalogue, especially in the later part of their career, the only thing that makes it a bit weird is the middle part. In "Jesus He Knows Me", that's one of the things that made me want to... Not only have I always loved that song, but there are three factors that made me want to do my own thing with it. One: it's a very upbeat rhythm. The way they play it is so quiet that it literally sounds like they're playing on the table [he beats the rhythm on the table] with an acoustic guitar. There's a real metal track in there.

Do something with those guitars! [Laughs]

Yeah, but I'm glad they didn't, because that means we can! I'm really surprised that a band like Metallica never covered this song, because it sounds like a song from Garage Days. It has the same atmosphere. So I thought, "I'm gonna make it sound like a Garage Days song by Metallica. And I fucking hate the bridge of the original, when they go into white boy raggae. I like reggae, but this is the whitest reggae in the world! And it totally destroys the song. As much as I've always loved the song as a whole, I've always hated that part. So getting rid of that section and making it very heavy was also on the to-do list. I had to go into Trouble mode on this. And of course, that goes without saying, but the lyrics were also perfect. It's meant as a tribute, even though I spit on that bridge a lot. But they've done a lot of these kind of prog bridges, like "Let's do anything here", and they'll throw in a rumba or something like that. Some people might find that really interesting, but in most of their songs, I don't think it adds anything. But yes, Genesis has a lot of... I like a lot of their older prog music, with Peter Gabriel, although I think they almost became even better after they split up. Peter Gabriel did his own music, and he did it very well - very epic music. And Phil [Collins] came in on vocals and they did their own thing. To me, it was the best of both worlds, even if it sounds sacrilegious to say that. I'd love to see Peter Gabriel come back and sing with them, that would be cool, but their separation brought so much to the music, between Peter Gabriel's career, Genesis' career and Phil's career. That amount of work, man!

It's one of the few cases where the split was a real success for everyone, and the result is as good as the original band.

Absolutely, I think so. The most amazing thing they could do now, especially now that Phil is not in good shape... What I wish they had done, or could have done, or would do one day, is a triple tour. For example, Phil and [Peter] could do a solo show each to start with, maybe just five or ten songs, and then get together with Genesis. That way we could have 'Here Come The Flood', 'Another Day In Paradise' and 'In The Air Tonight', and then a bunch of Genesis. I think everyone would love to see that. It would be the perfect concert. For me, it would be one of the best experiences possible.

You see, that's the kind of idea that made Ghost into Ghost. If you can come up with a plan like that for other bands...

[Laughs] You can always call me before it's too late, guys!

Another band that has come up with sophisticated yet super catchy music is Def Leppard, especially on their multi-platinum album Hysteria. Speaking of which, this year you released a new version of "Spillways" with Joe Elliott on vocals. When you hear him on this track, the link is obvious, especially with the very elaborate backing vocals. Would you draw a parallel between your approach to songwriting and arranging and that of Def Leppard?

On this album, yes, because I tried to emulate elements of... It's something that's been done throughout their career, but especially on their two biggest albums, Pyromania and Hysteria, the length of the songs is remarkable. It's very common these days, especially in pop, to be very fussy about the three-minute limit. In the pop world, there's this need to always get to the chorus very quickly. You have to start with the chorus, go straight to the point all the time. In the 80s, there was more courage in songwriting - a more adventurous side. Songs like 'The Riddle', for example, were very strange, very proggy. There were weird chord progressions and stuff that nobody does anymore. The pop world has been so chicken for so long. Of course, I've always had an ear for pop; I'm not exactly impressed with what I hear today, but in my life I've always listened to the radio and liked a lot of what I heard, especially the 80s super hits. That's totally my thing. And I love Eurodisco from the early 90s. There are a lot of great composers in that scene. Max Martin started in Eurodisco, at least professionally, but before that he was in metal. What makes him such a great composer is his metal ear. He was writing Eurodisco songs, and then all of a sudden he started writing huge pop songs for the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. This whole school of Swedish songwriters is made up of former metalheads, former rockers, former guitarists.

So I wanted to challenge myself in my own songwriting, because sometimes I keep it too short. Even though "Square Hammer" is a good example of a well-written song, it was almost frustrating, because I thought, "OK, that's one more song like that. Now I have to stop doing that, because it was almost too simple." It was a very intuitive song; I literally wrote it in ten minutes. I had the melody, I played it, and the song wrote itself very quickly. There's almost no finesse in that song, and I thought I should avoid doing the same thing again, because it would be too easy. I wanted to see if I could write in a Def Leppard way. On Hysteria, there are six, seven, eight singles, a good half of which were huge hits. In 1987 or 1988, they were on a par with Coldplay at the height of their career, that's for sure. How could they write five-minute songs, with like five distinct parts? It wasn't conventional, verse-chorus-verse-chorus writing. It was verse, another verse, pre-chorus, bridge, and then finally, after two minutes, you'd get to the chorus. And it was so rewarding, because it was such a long way to get there. I thought, "This is what I have to work towards. I want to dare to add another part, dare not to follow the path. That was a mental exercise I did on Impera, and I'll try to do better in the future. It's an interesting way to challenge yourself.

When people talk about the length of songs on the radio, I always think of the story of "Bohemian Rhapsody": "This is going to be a disaster, it's never going to be played on the radio!" That's it, yes...

For a long time they called that song "Freddie's thing". It's such an anomaly in the middle of what we've just been talking about. Of course, I don't recommend... For a young band that's just got a contract, it's best to avoid the six-minute "Rhapsody". But if you can find a compromise between 'The Passenger' and 'Bohemian Rhapsody', I think you've got something.

On that subject, how did Joe Elliott end up on "Spillways"?

The story is very simple. I talked about Def Leppard a lot before Impera came out because of the mental exercise I mentioned, and both Phil and Joe had been talking about Ghost for a few years. It got to the point where our respective managements wanted us to do something together. In the modern world, that often means collaborating, as hip-hop artists do. I explained that I was willing to explore the idea, but that for me, a collaboration is a trendy but outdated concept. We do it all the time. In hip-hop, it's almost ridiculous to see... If an artist is hot this week and you go look at the American top 40, it's just "this artist feat. this other artist". I totally understand that one plus one can sometimes be three, but it gets very cynical. I don't want to do things cynically. I sing cynical things, I'm a cynical person, but I don't want to be cynical about my fans or my career. So I said yes, I would discuss it with Joe, but we'd have to see if we could agree on something, if there was romance in the air.

Joe and I sent a lot of messages to each other to try and arrange a meeting. He lives in Ireland, but also in LA. I live in Sweden, but I also spend a lot of time in LA, so we tried to find time to see each other. He was getting ready for his tour, I was getting ready for my tour, and we were just hanging out. And then out of the blue, he wanted to experiment; he went into the studio, recorded some vocal lines and sent them to me. I thought it sounded really cool and I said, "Look, I have nothing but good things to say about what you did. It sounds great. I'm not surprised by your voice, but by the fact that we sound so good together. I like that very drawling vocal, you really added something. But I have no desire to throw this on Spotify and say to people, 'Here's another thing you can buy.'" I asked him, "You know we do little skits to communicate with our fans in a funny way? Instead of posting on Instagram saying we'll be in such and such a city, we come up with little episodes." He had seen a few and said, "Yeah, that's funny. Let's do something funny with that." The gag is the important part, and the end result is a bonus.

It's like what we did with 'Kiss The Go-Goat' and 'Mary On A Cross'. The idea for the episode came first, and then we said, "OK, but we need a song. So I came up with the idea for this 60s-style sketch that was "Kiss The Go-Goat". Then, as I was writing and recording 'Kiss The Go-Goat', 'Mary On A Cross' came up in the process, and I thought, "Great, now we have a B-side! It'll be a physical single." So I put that in the script: "Let's start showing the single, now that it's official." Things work in tandem. Looking back, we now know that the end result was different. It was meant as a joke. There was 'Kiss The Go-Goat', which was the joke itself and was very successful. And then it turned out that "Mary On A Cross" was completely different. That's also what I told Joe: we do this to mess around with the band. My job is to write records and entertain people, but apparently I also have to communicate with my fans, and do all this promotion that I'm not really interested in. I have no problem doing this interview, but I don't want a fucking Instagram account where I post pictures of myself. I don't want to be that person. So, I'm doing this so that people... They're diversions, and sometimes those diversions become cool. "What do you say, Joe?" In the end, we found this way to spend time together and do something fun. Instead of turning our creativity into songs, we turned our creativity into episodes. It became something fruitful and fun, and I think it was a great success.

The title of the EP is clever, as it mixes the terms 'ghost' and 'pantomime'. The latter term is defined as "a type of musical for the entertainment of the whole family". Is this your goal with Ghost? Do you see the band as "a musical for the whole family's entertainment"?

Broadly speaking, yes. Of course, that suggests that the more adult elements and innuendos in our show are suitable for children, which I don't claim. But I would also like to stress that I have never asked people to bring children to our shows. So if the children in question are exposed to jokes involving penises, farts and copulation, that's their problem. I grew up in a very liberal family, where there were very few barriers and no censorship. I think it's possible to have a conversation, if others are open to it. I have no problem with whole families coming to us, as long as no one suffers. So, for me, it is indeed entertainment for the whole family. But I wouldn't sell it as such to most people, because there are still elements that are not suitable for all children.

I remember a Rammstein concert where I noticed children in the audience. I thought it wasn't really a good idea... Ghost seemed a bit more appropriate, but for young children, some things can still be a bit biased.

It's hard for me to have a clear line on this, because I'm not just speaking as a musician, but also as a parent. There's a constant debate about the right age to talk about certain things. Now, with two teenagers, things are more open. But that's one of the weird things about being a semi-public figure, talking openly and publicly about your life and what you do and sharing your opinions. My kids read that, too. They are aware of it. As soon as I say something, especially nowadays, where everything becomes a meme or a clip... People may think what I say is funny, which I don't mind, but my son and daughter, now fourteen, heard it when they were eight or ten. It's hard for me to be a parent and say, 'Go to school! Don't do that", when they know perfectly well that I didn't follow any of these precepts. I'm not trying to lie to them at all. I tell them: "I did this, I don't recommend it. I did this; I totally neglected this other thing. But I was lucky and I got there. My career isn't over, so I don't know if I've really "arrived", but for now, I'm here. It was a bit silly of me to be so confident, to think I could burn all the bridges, burn all the ships and throw the oars. I was lucky enough to make it to land, but I don't recommend this technique. Don't do the same thing! [Laughs]

[shalscumbunny]

Dear Doctor | Chapter 4: Privacy

Summary: Shalnark suffered a small injury while investigating some things for the Gen'ei Ryodan, his intention was that a doctor would cure him and nothing else, unfortunately that doctor was you and what you least expected is that one of the most wanted criminals in the world would end up becoming obsessed with you.

Pairing: Shalnark X F.Reader

Warnings: Harassment, recordings, spy cameras, the reader does not know she is being recorded, male masturbation

Author’s note: I always mention it in all my writings in English, but better safe than sorry, English is not my native language so it is very likely to find many mistakes and also that I know practically nothing about writing “X character and Y/N”

I am not a doctor so I will say my life excuse for everything, “I am a social science student”, so if something is wrong I apologize

Sites: AO3

What exactly is privacy? The right one has to hide intimate things? Well, someone like Shalnark really doesn't have the slightest respect for that word, much less when it comes to you.

Of you and the beautiful love story that he formulated in his head, to Shalnark you are soulmates who belong and love each other, a relationship so deep and intimate does not need something as ridiculous as privacy.

Since he installed the security cameras in all the environments you are in, your privacy is not something that interests him very much, he does not care much, even if he is murdering someone in cold blood, he probably remembers that you are doing something that he likes see and he will have no choice but to turn on his cell phone and continue stabbing the man who begs for mercy while he watches on cameras how you drink a hot cup of coffee.

He has several monitors in his study, he could be hacking into a bank's website, stealing a couple of million, and at the same time he watches on the other monitor as you work in your office with that beautiful smile that melts him.

Thanks to the cameras, he knows your routine backwards and forwards, now his favorite moment of the day is seeing you arrive from work, a sweet smile forms on his lips when you throw your briefcase on the floor and rush to the couch for a few minutes, exhausted.

He can only sigh enthralled when you go into your bedroom and take off your clothes, the invasion of your privacy has reached a point where the order in which you remove the clothes from your body has been learned; first the top, then the bra, you pull down your pants and finally you take off your panties.

He bites his lower lip following your journey to the bathroom through the cameras. At that moment his cock is sore and hard inside his pants, but his eyes remain fixed and almost without blinking, watching you enter the shower and the warm water falls on your tense body.

Shalnark steps back in his seat opening his pants, his erect cock shoots out of his pants onto his abdomen, completely swollen and in need of attention.

He watches you silently, although you can't see or hear him, he feels that a single noise from him could disturb your peaceful bath.

His turquoise eyes make a beautiful contrast with the brightness of the screen, they shine with lust and desire while his hands clumsily play with his swollen cock that is already releasing precum.

He is watching how you soap your body, your arms, your legs, your abdomen, your breasts and finally your vulva. His breathing is labored when the camera focuses on how you use your fingers to open your lower lips and caress the area with water to clean it. He feels his mouth watering, he would give everything to bury his face there, to lick and suck your folds and clitoris, to witness the warmth of your beautiful entrance.

He's sick and eager for you, his expression gives him away, he's lost in thought as he masturbates, he gasps excitedly imagining himself in that shower next to you, grabbing your hips and pushing his cock into your tight, sweet pussy, he bites his lips imagining the hot and pleasurable feeling that your rubbery walls would give to his hard cock.

Shalnark perceives you as his, no matter what, he loves you and wants you intensely, he only thinks about possessing you, he only squeezes and pumps desperately imagining the sound of your moans and whimpers, he grunts imagining your tearful and red face as you moan his name, the stimulation is so much that his balls are swollen and throb with need for you.

Shalnark's hips began to push upwards as he moans your name excitedly and desperately.

"Doctor...shit...doctor...you are so tight...so hot...I love you so much...Fuck..." He speaks with his eyes closed tightly feeling his balls tighten "Y/N... You’re mine...only mine..."

Finally, the right thing happens, Shalnark grunts with pleasure and his semen shoots out with such force that it hits the keys of the computer, he remains weak and breathing hard, he felt good, but when he sees that you continue bathing calmly, he knows that it isn´t enough, his hand isn't enough either... you are the only thing he knows will be more than enough.

Finished his daily ritual, he cleans himself, sighs trying to lower his temperature and lies down on his bed exhausted looking at his cell phone, he sees on the cameras how you yawn and lie down directly to the side of the camera, Shalnark had spent a couple of nights watching you sleep in your apartment without you realizing it to find out which side you slept on and put the camera there, of course he covered both sides just in case, but he's proud of himself for correctly guessing which side you were sleeping on.

His eyes have a sickly-sweet look as he watches you rest, he can't help but fantasize about the day when you both sleep in the same bed, he smiles imagining your head resting on his chest and the smell of your hair in his nose while he kisses the top of your head lovingly.

"Good night, Y/N" Shalnark whispered softly, turning off his phone, leaving it on the nightstand and falling asleep.

Thank you so much for reading my shit 🖤

Chapter 3 <- Chapter 4 -> Chapter 5

[alexanderwales]

Adversarial Reading

I think my least favorite type of reader is the reader who thinks I'm trying to get something over on them. They're watching out for my tricks, and they want to call me on my bullshit.

I think it would be more tolerable if they weren't wrong so often. The comments they leave make assumptions about where the plot is going or what my writing process is, and because adversarial readers cannot read my mind, they often just totally blow it.

"The author only had X happen so that Y could happen"

No, I had X happen because that's my understanding of the character, or because it was thematically appropriate, or because there are things going on in the background that you're ignorant of. And you know what, Y isn't going to happen! It's just not that kind of story! So you're wrong on both counts.

"Character X is acting really ooc right now to move the plot along"

No, she's acting different from how she normally acts because a character is not a monolith with a single personality trait. She's acting like that because she had a chance to rest for the first time in the entire novel, because this is the first time someone has treated her like she's not a piece on a chess board, because she's hit her breaking point.

"Character X really should have done Y, is he stupid?"

First, Y is impossible per the rules the story has set up. It's explicitly called out in a line you missed three chapters back. Second, X does not have access to all the same information that you have, and he does not think like you. His priorities are different from the priorities that you have.

~~~

I try, as a general rule, to be empathic.

I think a lot of adversarial readers have read a lot of shitfic, and when you're reading something from an author who doesn't know what they're doing, it's often correct to come to the conclusion that things are Weird Like That because the author was inexpertly stitching together scenes they had in their head, or because they forgot a detail from earlier, or because something obvious just didn't occur to them. Maybe it's not nice, but I've spoken to a lot of starting authors, and asked questions that have gotten me answers that are ... basically that.

I think it goes beyond brainrot pattern-matching though. I think it's partly a desire to feel smugly superior and treat reading as a game that can be won. There are so few options these days for people to feel powerful and validated, and maybe (wrongly or rightly) explaining that you know all the author's tricks and have fallen for none of them helps with what the Unabomber called the "power process" (briefly, a desire of humans to formulate goals and attain them through non-trivial effort).

Reading isn't like that, or shouldn't be. I'm writing this story and you're reading it, and we're in collaboration with each other. I'm attempting to plant a garden in your mind, and it's not going to work if you're not watering it.

Sometimes, if a reader doesn't understand why a character did something, or complains about something that happened which was explained in the text, I do think this is my fault. As a writer it's my job to make sure that things are explained and foreshadowed and that the subtext is readable. This is very difficult to do when writing for an audience of very different assumptions and levels of reading skill. Sometimes as a writer I have to say "mea culpa, this was not written well enough for you to understand character motivations, the rules of the world, or the subtext that underpins this moment".

If you think that "adversarial reader" might describe you, there are a few things that I ask:

Don't make assumptions about the authorial process.

Don't make assumptions about the author.

It's always better to coach things as questions that are open for comment, rather than statements, e.g. "I don't understand why she would do that" instead of "acting real ooc rn".

It's always better to cite text, which will also help keep you from getting things wrong. ctrl+f is one of the best inventions of the last 100 years.

It's always better to assume the author knows what they're doing, at least at first. Sometimes this is a recipe for getting burned, but is it really so bad to get burned?

[nihilnovisubsole]

oh, right, shadowbringers! i'm overdue for another ffxiv bullet point vibe check. i actually finished it a couple of weeks ago, and then my sink exploded [long story] and i wanted to chew on it for a while. it's clear that this expac is an overwhelming fan favorite, so i figured i should formulate some more intelligent thoughts about it.

part of me worries that my shadowbringers experience was colored by how badly i missed the people and places on the source. more than the aether and gods and soul transference and all that stuff, what i really took away was a sense of loneliness. the first isn't my world. its citizens are strangers to me, though i recognize on a philosophical level that i should help them. even the scions - in theory, my closest comrades - have lived for years in the blink of my eye and become very different people. when did thancred become responsible? when did the twins grow up? i wondered what other NPCs were doing without me. all i wanted was to go home.

on the other hand, i read a theory that this is the point. the story wants you to feel cut loose from everything you know. are you still a hero in an emotional vacuum? will you still put yourself on the line to do the right thing? sure, your world will be doomed if theirs falls, but that possibility seems so huge and far-off that it doesn't register in your gut. i don't think that's the writing failing to connect with me or anything. if that's the intent, it's an interesting feeling for a game to evoke.

i may have also exacerbated that feeling by keeping my actual avatar isolated on norvrandt for so long. i mentioned earlier that i play around the game's day-night cycle, running missions based on when they'll feel most immersive. that extends to maps, too: if the story says i'm stuck in a place, i stay around that place until the story carries me elsewhere. i mean, i'll dip out for wondrous tails and daily cactpot and stuff, but i don't take big story vacations to jet around eorzea. i didn't "come back" from the far east in stormblood until doma was free. that's a lot of MSQ to just spend alone with your thoughts.

there's a storytelling paradox at work: the first's problems are so large and so bad that it's smaller and more personal when you become invested in someone's plight. i expected to care a lot about liberating ala mhigo because i'm so fond of raubahn as a character, and i did. i didn't expect to feel the pity that i felt for, say, kai-shirr, or runar's unrequited crush on y'shtola. it comes on slowly and quietly.

i don't know. it's a curious story. it's a melancholy story. it's a lot more experimental than the expacs that came before it. it'd probably be worth it to new-game-plus it at some point to pay closer attention to the individual character arcs.

same goes for emet-selch. he's a curious villain. i don't sympathize with his methods, and i obviously have no romantic interest in him. but i keep mulling him over. he keeps lurking in the back of my mind, which means that his writing succeeds by virtue of being memorable.

to my mind, everything around amaurot contributes to that success. amaurot is where it all starts to come together for me. it's a beautiful, odd place - art deco in final fantasy? who knew? - and the pinnacle of the arc's surreal "this is a dream, but tangible" tone. you can tell the team wanted to go all out with the ascian reveals they'd been building up to for years. i wonder if they had fun designing it.

even if it is. i. hm. no i shan't say it

all right, i'll say it

I AM EMET-SELCH AND I AM HERE TO ASK YOU A QUESTION

there, it's out of my system. on a less ridiculous note, i finally got royce's canon armor! now i can gpose freely. i wish there were an in-engine way to pose with NPCs, but them's the breaks. who knows? maybe we'll get it eventually. it is a live service game.

[ladylyra]

I'm ngl I've been dying to ask about them and I love when you talk about your characters so I was wondering if maybe you'd be interested in talking a lil about Lucille, Lihue, and Souta? I'm kinda curious about their dynamic but also just them as characters so it's up to you how you want to answer!! Thank you!

i'll talk about them independently and then their dynamics!! thank you for asking!! sorry i talked a lot not a little

lucille is a very others-focused person; if she has the opportunity to help someone out, she will. she enjoys feeling like she is doing the right thing, of course, but she also craves the praise and attention that comes along with it. she's very expressive and silly, which can make her 'funny' to observe, but she's got a different sense of humor than someone like souta; i can't really imagine her ever making a habit of serious jokes at someone else's expense. she really just wants everyone to feel welcome and like they have a place. her greatest weakness is probably her lack of focus and her need for external validation; she has a lot of ideas in her head of what she feels is right and what she should do, but heavily relies on the discipline of others around her to help with implementation and "streamline" her goals and formulate concrete plans. She's gotten better at doing this on her own with age and experience, though, so she's been able to be more independent and an effective leader. she's constantly trying to see the best in others, and their potential, so she can get caught down rabbit holes of situations she may be better off abandoning.

lihue is all about self improvement and efficiency. she hates wasting her time and if she's involving herself in something, it is usually because she feels like there's something she can learn from it. to her, skill acquisition is how she gains self-sufficiency; relying on others too much makes her uncomfortable and she has huge issues with vulnerability. she tries to approach all emotions from an analytical lens and can come off as insensitive as a result. while this emotional neglect impacts others, it has also impacted herself greatly; she is normally very decisive, but her reluctance to pay mind to her emotions has left an experience gap, making her hesitant, scared, and unsure in vulnerable exchanges she considers far outside her depth. rather than wade through her emotions, she holds others at a distance. this is her biggest fault, and something she is actively working on; despite her attitude, which can sometimes come off as if she thinks herself better than others, she is highly self critical, and she doesn't feel like she can ever do enough to distance herself from her past actions.

souta can come off as a "just here to have fun" sort of guy on the surface, but he's far more deep than he lets on, and he takes a lot of enjoyment in seeing others try to understand him. a lot of the things he says and does are to see how others respond, noting their patterns and behaviors, information he stores for use later. because of this, it comes off like he always has a reply to whatever is thrown at him--some detail said offhandedly in a previous convo? he probably remembers that. some nervous tick? he saw that, too. as you may expect, he has a teasing problem, which can make serious conversations a struggle to attain; sometimes, this is just him getting caught up in conversations he sees as games he can win, other times it is a deliberate effort to obfuscate since he does have, to a smaller degree, vulnerability issues like lihue. because he has no memory of his life as a human, he places a great value on his current life and works to carve out a unique identity and purpose; whether that past person was good or bad, he does not want to define himself or be defined by others as someone he doesn't even view as himself. he likes to maintain a sense of independence and control over his life--he loathes ever feeling obligated to do something, and he would rather everything be a product of his own choice. to him, that makes his loyalty worth even more, right?

OKAY NOW THE SEPARATE DYNAMICS

lucille and souta have definitely gotten the most time together. he finds her authenticity and self-sacrificing nature admirable and she's very fun to watch. she's expressive and doesn't tend to hide her thoughts, so it's instant gratification whenever he does something. i don't see him as someone who is super approval-seeking normally ( he's pretty confident on his own) but i think he is a little desperate (won't admit it) for lucille to like him and to find him funny. she was definitely the one most interested in learning about his past life / backstory. the attention was a feeling he got hooked on and got really into baiting, until the point that it began to make her overthink things and for him to start feeling not seen for who he was in the present. they both enjoy being around someone they can have fun with, so they can sometimes forget to GET SERIOUS but they have some good serious moments too (she makes him more committal and honest, he makes her more introspective, both start to think a little more long term because they want the other person there, ect). i didn't plan them from the start, and i only began to explore them after lihue had left. i think comparing them as lucille's 'options' is natural as a result. souta offers a lot that lihue never did; he's a little evasive when hes a tease, but he also doesn't hesitate to validate lucille when she needs it, and he finds her reactions as a result just as satisfying. his decision to follow her also means a lot to her; she's someone who values loyalty highly, and it is difficult for her to let people she loves go. with him, she doesn't find herself questioning loyalty or if he loves her, which means a lot to her.

lucille and lihue were far more planned early-on. i feel their personalities compliment more obviously: high extroversion vs high introversion, lucille is more head-in-the-clouds, lihue is more practical and efficient. lucille's warm and accepting, lihue is critical and severe. with them, i think a mistake would be to believe that lihue was somehow the more mature one. lucille is more upbeat, seemingly "gullible", and allows her herself more vulnerability, but this permission to feel isn't immaturity; it is an acceptance she may be hurt, but she'll take the risk because she wants the chance to connect with others. lihue runs from situations she is scared of and hurts people like lucille as a result. even as she learns this to be wrong, she feels she can never recover from what she has done. it's a game of lucille forgiving and giving chances, and lihue feeling she doesn't deserve the chances or isn't ready for anything lucille has to offer. there's some merit to this; lucille shouldn't have to tolerate being hurt because she is living for someone's potential, but she truly does want lihue in her life, whether it be as a friend or something else, so she's just working on being a good person and someone lihue can rely on once she allows herself that vulnerability. another thing with them is sorting through if you still like a person or if you like your memories of them, since they did originally like each other when they were younger, and a lot of time has passed since then; they are trying to navigate this as more mature people. definitely a big hurdle is that lihue's past behavior does make lucille paranoid about the future, but she's managing this by just being realistic with her expectations and accepting she can't control lihue, only herself.

well well well……….souta and lihue. souta does not feel threatened by lihue at all; he sees her as highly predictable, easy to run circles around, and definitely easy to poke fun at. he'd probably be more inclined to be 'harsher' to her than to lucille because lihue wants to act tough all the time. since she's so self-critical, she'd probably expect that he'd be more confrontational toward her over lucille (she deserves it right?) but he isn't actually. he talks to her about it casually or just makes small jabs about it, but nothing that would start a fight. serious fights aren't his vibe and he thinks lucille can voice her feelings herself. lihue might feel a little jealous that he offers a lot that she feels she cant. BUT BESIDES THE LUCILLE FACTOR. i did intend them to be friends early in the comic. they often appeared more as a pair before lihue left the team. lihue sees him as someone who is highly intelligent but who wastes his time on things that are too inane. she doesn't see the logic in his behavior and feels he wastes a lot of time on things that don't matter. like lucille, he's distinguished from lihue by his extroversion, but he's less silly; he's also a little bit more intimidating because he doesn't see the need to be careful with her. likewise, she also doesn't waste time sparing his feelings, so i can imagine their exchanges coming off as incredibly harsh or direct, and potentially off-putting to outsiders. i think they have a 'bite' to them which has its own appeal--i think she'd eventually catch up to his teases and try to be just as ruthless back.

i definitely have my personal biases for what i feel is 'best' for certain characters and what is most narratively satisfying (whole separate conversation), but i enjoy exploring them all and think they've got interesting drama. i think about them a lot. they have a playlist. i have songs. theyre always on my mind

[hourglassfish]

On Season 1, Episode 7 : Part One : I Expect More: Syd and Carmy's Relationship

So I think this is gonna end up being in a few chunks - I think I want to talk about context leading up to the episode:

I Expect More: Syd and Carmy's relationship,

I know you'll be listening: Marcus, McDonald's and Freedom

Risottogate

Hiring New Fucking Broads: Syd, Richie and conflict;

"That's Not You" The Moment Syd Walks Out

So I'm late on this obvs - and I'm sure the whole world and his dog has already said what needs to be said about this episode, but I wanted to think about it anyway. There's a post on here somewhere that says that episode 7 doesn't have a three act structure, that it captures a moment of stress and tension, and that's it - but this isn't quite how I read it, I believe that it does both. How obvious this is all depends on how you frame it.

There's a central feint to The Bear that I come back to often - that you think 'a stranger comes to town' and that that stranger is the return of Carmy, made strange by his time away. Nah! The stranger is Sydney. The show doesn't really start until she arrives, (we know that Carmy's been in Chicago for two weeks, but our story doesn’t start there. There's a reason for this!) she is a force that is shaking things up and providing dynamism. This is not to say Carmy isn't the protagonist, obvs, nor that he is passive, very much not. But it is often her presence, her drive and determination and belief in Carmy, a belief she is unafraid to unabashedly express, which moves him, and moves everyone around him. When she is around, and Carmy lets himself lean into their connection, he is able to articulate - and action - what he wants, to ‘let it rip’.

I say this in relation to episode 7, cus if your focus is Carmy, then it's one minute in time, a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. But if you focus in on Sydney, it is the story of how she came to quit. Whenever someone is like 'She's a brat! She's arrogant! it was her fault!' - I'm like OK sure - if you want to completely identify with Carmy at his worst, we can do that, and if you want to ignore how the rest of the staff respond to what happens, sure, we can do that too. We can do that. But the show is really clear on the framing of what happens.

So let's begin with the context of where this day comes from.

There is an ambiguity to Carmy and Sydney's working relationship which very much works in his favour. Very much.

In the week that she staged, Syd quickly finds herself as sous, because she has to. The kitchen is not functioning, and Carmy does not have the emotional skills, or at least the emotional bandwidth, to navigate the grief and anger and dysfunction they are all engaged in, to get the kitchen to a place where it can work. There was a reason Kitchen Nightmares made such compelling TV, and it was because behind bad food, ugly decor and terrible profit margins were almost always a bunch of people that were hurting. Carmy may be Gordon Ramsay here, but its Syd who's the hard working, behind the scenes producer, doing the actual graft that pulls it all back together.

She then spent her time away from work essentially formulating a business plan (she proposes first! way before 1:8) to make the restaurant profitable. We know Carmy is bad at this. Richie articulates as much ; 'you've been here two weeks and we've had money problems for two weeks'. Sydney's able to not only see the problems in a week but also suggest practical fixes. This is where they overspend i.e. its the delivery on the flour, not the material itself - and this is how to fix it - Marcus drives to pick it up. Instantly actionable. She has skills from Sheridan that are better suited to running a business like the Beef than the skills and tastes that Carm has from being Chef De Carmy* at Eleven Madison Park or Noma. It will never not be funny to me that she presents this to him in episode 2, and that in episode 3 he says 'I'll dial business, you do everything else' - my guy she has already done it!!! You are not slick!

She's does a lot of the emotional labour of getting the brigade into shape: the shitty, endless nagging, being the bad (or at least annoying) guy over and over again, despite clearly being one of the youngest there, and the newest member of staff. She does this without the authority of being an owner, or a member of the family. I'm gonna try and avoid referring to gender and race explicitly here - like the show does, LOL - but like... it's there. We all know it's there.

We know she is brilliant in a crisis: in Sheridan Carmy tells her they can't afford to lose a single service, so when the electricity goes and the gas goes, she sets up a fucking BBQ from found building materials outside. It's kind of incredible, and they all know and acknowledge it. (Sheridan, Review and The Bear are three different stories of crisis management, and thinking about them that way is really useful)

She is in! 100%. All of her energy and creativity and care and patience have gone into The Bear, it flourishes under the love that is still looking for a home following Sheridan Road’s demise. They are fucking so lucky to have her, and to have her at this specific moment in time.

What exactly does she get back from Carmy for that? There's her wage, of course. She's working well beyond what she's being paid, but you know, it's her job. There's a bunch of stuff we could say about the satisfaction of doing a job well - but that's not what she gets from him.

She supposedly gets a boss that listens to her, she gets to not have some psycho stood behind her pushing and screaming. But this is conditional. He may not scream at her (up until episode 7) but he'll 'cut her down to size' if he needs to - the conversation about stock/jus/demi-glace in episode 3, mentioning that he sought out references and slapping her with a bunch of unanticipated feedback from all her former employers when he essentially wants her to shut up about the risotto/short rib, lots of co-ercive 'are we good chef?' business (straight out of the Donna playbook, I am not, and I cannot emphasise this enough, a fan).

The main thing she gets is to be close to him and learn from him, which we know was really important for her. I think he knows it too. JAW plays it as though he knows she lied about coming to the Beef every Sunday. She’s up front on knowing who he is, so it’s not a stretch to believe that he also knows that she's there for him. She plays her cards close to her chest on all this for a reason: that same admiration has the potential to set up a very specific power dynamic, one where she simply wants to be in the presence of his 'greatness'. ***

That's the exchange, for so, so, so much labour. It's not really equitable, and I think this is a tension throughout the show**, and why I'm never fully on board with sydcarmy stuff, even whilst being able to see the vision. Like... you should be staring at her with adoration, fam, and you should be fucking terrified that she’ll leave! She's carrying a lot of this shit! Carmy knows that, even if you don’t! You don’t make an offer like the one at the end of S1 unless you really want to hold on to that person - be that romantic, platonic, or purely pragmatic (she’s a good worker). In Hands he explicitly tells her that it’s much more work than he can pay her for.

(I'm still quietly horrified by the fact that Syd is deferring her wages for six months... but not getting a profit share? fam. FAM! Looked at through a race and gender lens? In Chicago? It is no coincidence that the people that most explicitly tells her to be cautious are her father and another Black woman)

I want to make sure I've clearly said that none of this is intended as a blistering criticism of Carmy. I feel immense sympathy for him. He is grieving, and having arrived late*****, he has missed much of the communal grieving processes, like funerals, and sorting through people's stuff, that people really need to do together. He's absolutely burnt out and the role he is in requires a skill set he does not yet have (it is poignant that Syd is like ‘why are you buying farmer’s market produce?’ - Tina is right to point out that it’s not Noma, Richie and Michael’s system will have had its strengths). I'm not sure if anyone at The Beef truly knows the extent of his panic/anxiety, nor do I think he is getting treatment. I imagine he must be in flight/fight mode 24 hours a day, which, as anyone who has experienced this knows, feels like you're literally about to die. Always. Always. We are not designed to feel like that for so long.

I don't think he's some machiavellian mastermind extracting her labour from her. I think she is a lifeline and he clings. She offers, and he takes. We know from 2:9 's panic attack, that her seeing him, really, truly, *seeing* him was a deeply meaningful moment for him, that her making the choice to be at the Beef with him before she truly knew him was affirmative and transformative, and her staying, even after watching Richie bully and undermine him, even more so. I rewatched Hands today, and when she hands him the portfolio and tells him he needs help… his little face! Carmy is moving from crisis to crisis, but Syd’s head is just a little bit above the parapet, and she can think differently. He needs that, and no one deserves to feel alone with all the problems he is carrying with The Beef.

That said, I also think he can buy into his own hype, (it’s a good thing, that your sister doesn’t think you’re a genius fam), enjoys when Syd buys into it too and struggles when she does not. This is understandable. The only other person who really understands his success is Pete, who is bottom of the pecking order. He got very successful, very young. He worked hard for that but he also has the expected ego (we’ll return to this!) regardless of the fact that he is a decent guy. Syd is often negotiating this ego. He listens to her, depends on her and needs her, but he also gets to hold her to his unspecific 'higher standard',**** and 'expect more' when they clash or disagree, to wield small mistakes over her like a thunderstorm, to remind her that they both come from a cooking world where abuse is casual and accepted in pursuit of excellence.

This lack of clarity is such a fertile breeding ground for abuse. When you live in a society that is built on abusive dynamics, abuse isn't something that only evil monsters do, it's a clear and constant danger that anyone can slip into at any moment in time. That is why clear, well communicated boundaries are so important.

Everything that happens in episode 7 is a result of this messiness that has been coalescing around The Beef from the start of the series. The ambiguity of this specific dynamic, so central to the restaurant and the show itself, is one of the cornerstones of that.

Carmy can change up the dynamic of their relationship at any moment. He can be her 'mentor' when he wants to cut her down to size, he can be her 'partner' when he needs work from her, he can be a romantic and sensitive 'friend' (that looks like Jeremy Allen White) when he needs her to stay. She can never quite find her feet.

In episode 7, their dynamic changes multiple times. Are they going to be partners that solve this problem together? She tries for that, but she is swiftly, and brutally, ejected from the expo, a role that she has been in pretty much consistently, since the moment she gets the job. The team defers to her, as they've become used to, right up until the moment he screams at her to move. As in Brigade, with the stock, she is being humiliated again.

Will he be her friend, with their connection being the motor for everything else? Ehhhhn, she tries twice to talk about his clear frustration about the risotto review, he is it not having it!

Perhaps he will be her mentor here, who will model best practice in the face of a crisis they deal with together? Well… he certainly models something.

The pre order option being left on is a small mistake. Easily done, a box was ticked or unticked. Small, like leaving a packet of cigarettes near a burner while you scrub the floor, or spilling a bottle of Xanax in a children’s drinks cooler. Much less dangerous too. An easy mistake to make, and the show as a whole is very permissive about mistake making. A huge part of Uncle Jimmy’s narrative role is to make it so that mistakes don’t really stick! The show does not punish fucking up.

Maybe if they had gotten Richie set up on the tablet earlier, they'd have noticed it then. Maybe if Carmy, who was ‘dialling business’ while Syd did everything else had been training Richie, he would have clocked it instead. We’ll never know. What we do know is that there is no perspective around this, Syd’s mistake, and that when the time comes to solve it, both men ignores the skills that they know she has, and dismiss the good faith she should have accrued from months of dedication. Any warmth, respect, gratitude and care that Carmy has had for Syd up until this point dissipates, almost instantly. It's a deeply destabilising moment for the whole kitchen, but for their relationship especially.

It's hard to say much more without referring to the next sections. So...

More next time!

*I know it's Chef De Cuisine, but Chef De Carmy or Carmy De Cusine is more fun to say

**and in a bunch of work places, tbh, where a white male 'genius' is surrounded by a group of POC and women working their arses off while him and his mates dip in and out... OH NO I WENT THERE

*** I think this drives a lot of Carmy's absenteeism as well. It's weird to watch season one post season two, and see how often the team is split, for good and bad reasons. In Hands, Syd and Richie are both doing Carmy's head in, and he jumps at the chance to send them to get caulk. There’s the infamous Al Anon run in Brigade, followed by him sort of lolling about in the office (I know he’s bookkeeping), in Sheridan he does the meat run to Nat/Pete's, in Dogs they're doing the kids bday party, in Ceres for a large chunk of the day he's in the office... it's not the same as his abandoning of Syd with the menu, but you can see how scattered he is from day one, between the demands of the Beef and the demands of his family. I dunno how Michael did it, tbh. Well he couldn't, could he. That's the tragedy.

**** truly cringe to listen to a white man tell a Black woman he holds her to a different standard, as though the world is not already doing that to her. I remain, a sydcarmy safe space but ooooof. I dunno. Like I don’t need or want the Shonda ‘twice as hard, half as much’ speech to be in the show, but the women, especially the WOC, in this show don’t half put up with some shit.

***** convinced this will be a plot point next season, btw. There will be a reason why he wasn’t there and it’ll come up around Marcus’s mom’s funeral, or palliative care.

[joy-of-life88]

Damian Priest x Reader ONE SHOT

First published on Wattpad August 12, 2023

"Damian, could we have a word? We just witnessed how the Judgment Day savagely attacked Edge once again. But yet again, it didn't work out the way you and your mates thought it would. The WWE Universe is curious what you have to say about this.

Why are all your attempts to ultimately take over Monday Night Raw failing? Do you think maybe you were a little too cocky? What are your plans?" I asked Damian backstage.

It was my job to do these interviews and yes, it was part of asking questions that you knew would piss off the wrestlers. That's what the producers wanted to see. Normally it was hard for me to be a little mean. But in the case of Priest, it came easily to me.

He was irritated with me and I was irritated with him. Why exactly? I don't know. Really... I didn't have a clue. We just didn't get along. He seemed a little too full of himself. And I wasn't sure that was just the character he was portraying. I also didn't want to spend more time than necessary with him to find out if I was possibly wrong.

It was better that way. I swear, if he called me spoiled princess one more time, blood would flow. I was so sick of people thinking I was only here because my dad was on the board of the WWE. Hell, I didn't even like my father. And he had nothing to do with why I got this job. That had totally different reasons.

"Well princess... if you understood a little bit more about our business, you would know that you won't get far here if you don't make enemies. We want to get to the top and no matter how long it takes... the Judgment Day will rise above all.

Mark my words, Y/N... even if it's hard for you. We have just begun to spread fear and terror. And anyone who doesn't get out of our way will get knocked out of the way." he replied, and then someone behind the camera said Cut.

"As always a displeasure to work with you, Princess. Now go make yourself useful on your knees somehow." he mocked.

It was probably meant to be funny, but he was talking to the wrong person about that.

"Fuck you, you arrogant asshole. Get the fuck out of my face. I'm getting a headache just thinking about your voice," I retorted.

"I bet you'd like that. But I know what you're really up to.... It's probably been an hour since you demolished that last piece of cake. Hence the headache." He laughed and then left.

-----------------------------

Damian POV

"Why the hell are you always so rotten towards Y/N? What did she ever do to you?" asked Rhea to me.

"Nothing... I just can't stand her and her attitude. And it's not like she's holding back." I replied as we walked further down the hall.

"You're both fucking awful. You bicker like little kids. If I had to guess, I'd say you're attracted to her," Rhea said.

"What makes you think that? She's not my type at all. I don't go for chubby girls with attitude problems. She seriously thinks she's God's gift to manhood," I explained.

"What are you talking about? She's gorgeous. My God so she's got a few more pounds on her than those skinny bitches. Who cares? I think you're not telling me what it really is.... I think you can't stand that she doesn't put up with your shit. Not even on camera." she replied.

"Oh please.... I don't know... She just rubs me the wrong way." I said.

"I bet you'd like her to rub you the right way." she then smirked.

"Not in a million years." i snorted.

"You know... One of these days I'm going to lock you in a room and not let you out until after you talk.

---------------------------------

"Good lord! Can you maybe just do your job? It's not that hard! I'll ask the questions and you answer." growled Y/N as we tried to film a segment for next week.

"I would if you were capable of formulating reasonable questions," I replied in a deep voice.

"Maybe I should just formulate it so you can comprehend it..." she muttered.

And so it went on for another half hour until we finally managed to come up with something decent. I could tell the producer wasn't happy with either of us.

I was walking back to the dressing room when Rhea intercepted me and asked me to follow her. She went into a secluded part of the arena where some empty storage rooms were. She opened the door and practically shoved me inside.

"Rhea what are you doing? I thought you wanted to talk?" I heard Y/N's voice.

"Talking is going to happen. You will talk to each other. In order that you finally get along with each other. It's annoying how you treat each other. Work it out." she said and closed the door behind her.

For a while it was silent. Neither of us said a word. I leaned against the wall next to the door while she wandered up and down the room with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Go ahead, talk," I said at one point.

"I have nothing to say to you." replied Y/N.

"Didn't expect any other way.... If you don't have time to write down the questions beforehand, you can't think of anything." I said.

"Oh he's such a smart one! You can't think of anything new to insult me with. I'm too tired for Rhea's attempt to make friends out of us." she replied.

"As if I ever wanted to be friends with you..." I muttered.

"Yes, because God forbid you should find out that I have brains and not just tits," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, if the shoe fits. But I bet you have a lot of talents that require your other body parts." I laughed.

"So that's what you think? That I'm a slut? Are you offended that I've never offered it to you before?" she asked aloud.

"Oh please... I bet you're not as good as you think you are," I continued laughing.

I just couldn't take her seriously. Even though I just saw the tiniest bit of hurt on her face.

"You know what? I'm going to shut you up once and for all. You think I'm a slut? Here you go, so be it." she then growled and came towards me with quick steps.

I had no idea what she was up to, but suddenly she was in front of me, pushing against my shoulder until my back was pinned firmly against her wall.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Proving a point." she replied and before I knew it she had already opened my pants and pulled them down a bit along with my underwear. 

"Woah, woah, woah! Have you lost your mind?" I wanted to know when she already took my cock in her hand and started rubbing me.

I put my hands on her shoulders as I tried to push her off me.

"Hands off." she commanded in a tone I didn't recognize from her.

And at this point... I could no longer resist. Her hands moved faster and faster in a way that blew my mind. Never in my life had a woman jerked me off like that. My breathing became rapid as I looked into her eyes. She cupped my balls and massaged them gently at first, then harder.

"See? You're just like any other man... Powerless when you're being grabbed by the balls. No matter how big your mouth was before. You're pathetic, Damian. Look at you... Being pleasured by a spoiled princess you can't stand. When all you had to do was say the word.... No... or Stop." she said softly and seductively.

And although her words were insulting, they were somehow arousing.

I watched as she stuck a thumb in her mouth and licked it before running that very thumb over my tip.

"So desperate for attention.... With no regard for anyone else's feelings or past. You need to learn that there are consequences." She continued almost in a whisper as her hands continued to work on me.

"What do you mean?" I gasped, very close to coming.

At that moment Y/N let go of me, yanked open the door and marched out of the room, leaving me just like that. Exposed and very unsatisfied. And on top of that, confused and frustrated.

[blackjackkent]

OK, so, off to the Archive. It's been made pretty clear that shit is going to go tits-up as soon as Raphael realizes what is happening, but I think we've done all the exploring we can right now. Time to set a fire in Hell. >:)

"Hello again, little mouse. The price for speaking is steep, but I must give warning. Your prize is just ahead in the Archive, but you can't take it yet, and even if you could, you mustn't. Trigger the alarm and Raphael will come swooping home on wings of malice to rip out your soul." Again the sudden shrieking wail as the panic takes her over. "IN THIS HOUSE THIEVES ARE MELTED LIKE BUTTER AND SPREAD ONTO TOAST!"

Her head ducks, her voice drops, a sudden frantic tone. "Shhhhhhhh... I'm doing it again I'm doing it again..."

Hector crouches down to her height, reaches out a hand towards her. He can't touch her, not a projection as she is, but perhaps the gesture at least comforts. [MONK] "Focus," he says softly. "Breathe with intent. And the flames that scorch your mind will recede, for they are nothing."

(A/N: I love how, completely by accident, this directly echoes one of the first fics I ever wrote about Hector. "Two beats to the breath...")

Her shoulders relax just slightly, a little of the mania fading briefly from her voice. "Slight problem," she whispers. "The flames are scorching my backside as well as my mind. But I like your optimism. And I can help. The Archivist is the key, but he's as stubborn as a king and as serious as a heart attack." The moment of control slips; her eyes widen, and she bellows out suddenly, "EXPLOIT HIS PIDDLING WEAKNESSES AND MAKE HIM GROVEL!"

She flinches away, curling herself inward. "Oh no..." she mutters. "They hear me. Speak quickly. Speak softly. You know how this goes..."

Hector swallows. He has to take a moment to settle his own mind, find his own center, as this woman's (entirely understandable) erratic behavior has him tremendously on edge.

[WISDOM] Focus your efforts on formulating concise questions.

Narrator: You steady your mind and prepare your questions.

"How should I deal with the archivist?" he asks crisply.

"He fears authority figures," she tells him, quickly, quietly. "Perhaps his teacher took a strap to him and left a deep impression at an early age. There's one regular visitor that he particularly fears... She is..." She flinches. "Shhhhhhh..."

Narrator: A crack like a breaking bone. Hope winces.

Hector frowns tightly. He wants nothing more than to get Hope and the Hammer and be far from this place and its torments. But there is no way out but forward.

[PERSUASION] "Who does the Archivist fear, Hope?" he says. "I need a name."

(A/N: Took three inspirations but we got there.)

"SCARIER THINGS THAN YOU, LITTLE MOUSE!" Hope roars - then controls herself again, her hands wringing together frantically. "Verillius. Verilliuse Receptor. A High Inquisitor of Zariel. Officially entitled to audit Raphael's collection. Her true form is so gargantuan and mind-scarring to behold that she takes on many guises when she visits..."

Another lift of her voice into a panicked scream. "PLAY YOUR PART WELL AND YOU CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BLASPHEMOUS GUISES!"

She vanishes, her words hanging in the air.

-----

"Lovely," Hector mutters. "We all know my talent for deception. Maybe someone else ought to take this one." He hesitates, looking sideways at Karlach.

He doesn't say anything, but she knows what he's thinking, and nods slowly, squaring her shoulders. "It should be me," she mutters. "I know how devils work. I met Verillius once or twice even. And I know how to scare the shit out of people, too."

He smiles faintly. "You did quite a good job with Helsik outside."

She shrugs. "Can't say I much want you admiring me for it. Last thing I want is to show up anything like those monsters. But if it'll help us tear this place apart, I guess it's worth something."

A pause. He steps towards her, rests a hand on her shoulder. "I love you," he says softly, "for everything you are that is good and kind and warm, everything not of this place. We do what must be done and then we'll be gone... we'll be gone from here..."

"Ten years I spent in the hells..." she murmurs, more to herself than to him. "Ten years of doing what must be done, enough to survive... nice to turn it back on them for once..."

[starry-mist]

S4e12 thoughts:

This is my favourite episode of the season (and one of my top ten overall.) It's also the hardest one for me to watch. I had to watch it twice to really formulate my thoughts.

We have my favourite trope of Charlie and Sarah stuck/isolated somewhere. Avalon Island. Dreamy. Quiet. Remote.

I'll get some of the non-Charah details out of the way first.

Kevin Hanchard and Maurice Dean Wint play off each other so well. They really shine in their scenes together.

I hadn't seen Murdoch Mysteries yet at this point, so didn't know who Thomas Craig was but I enjoyed him greatly in this episode.

The script is solid. Taf Diallo I believe has only written two episodes so far and I've loved both.

I love the overall feel of this episode. Shoutout to the addition of the bagpipes to some of the show's usual musical themes, it really worked.

Rex and the sheep. Rex taking home the toy sheep. I headcanon that Sarah has one too.

Shoutout to the nod to Mayko Nguyen's seasickness with that "at least the boat ride wasn't so bad" line. (Note how we never see her on the boat itself.)

Same actor, different character: We last saw Paul Warford in s2 as the dead food scientist in Finger Foodie. Now we have Gordo. Long live Gordo.

Sadly I did not have a chance to visit Brigus South when I was in Newfoundland last summer. Will definitely have it on the list for a future visit. It looks gorgeous.

Okay, so, Charah time:

First of all, I remember the show's social accounts posting the almost-kiss scene as "a moment many of you have been waiting for," and um, NO, that was NOT the moment.

So, we have Sarah still keeping Michael at literal arms' length outside the bullpen when he wants to go in for a kiss. And Charlie sort of half-pretending he doesn't have his back up at the other man's presence outside the bullpen. Way to set the scene for some tension.

The almost-kiss. If there were ever a blatant sign that Charlie is Not Okay, it’s that scene. Dude has been cheated on. That he would even consider kissing Sarah who by all accounts is "happy" in her relationship...huge red flag.

Charlie can’t stop staring at Sarah's cheek the first time they interview the kid who was shot. The second time, Sarah can't stop touching her cheek/lip. Yeah, we get it, they're distracted by their "moment."

Sarah asking Charlie if he's considering getting a quiet place for him and Rex, and Charlie's "you have to grow old with someone"...Charlie, you do realize dogs don't live forever, right? But yeah I think we're supposed to take this as Charlie resigning himself to forever being alone...sigh.

Charlie, get your shit together.

So I've done a little research into Fogo Island and damn, a weekend away there would not come cheap. Hitting that plot point does sort of underscore the "maybe Sarah's thinking about taking things with Michael a bit more seriously" idea. But her bringing it up right after Charlie expresses his doubts about growing old with someone...there's a ton of subtext there. And in case we didn't quite catch it, Charlie then stops the golf cart thing they're driving and says his "there's no manual for this" line, echoing Sarah's earlier line about there being no manual for a relationship. This whole exchange is them talking about their feelings for each other without actually talking about their feelings for each other.

Red flags. Red flags everywhere.

Though how much did I need them to miss their boat and get stuck at the B&B? A girl can dream...

(Shoutout to wardrobe for putting them in matching sweaters, BTW.)

So at what point does Sarah decide that she needs to give things with Michael a real chance? I would say it's when Charlie talks about his house full of motorcycle parts, and they cut to her expression, and damn, is Mayko ever good at reacting. The last time (that we've seen on screen, so let's go with it) she was at his house was Dark Web. My logic goes with that being the reason she kind of pulls away by the end of the episode and goes off to see where things go with Michael. It's overly simplistic, but it works. I think she's also realising how very not okay Charlie is, and doesn't know how to express her concern, but that's a topic for later in the season.

Charlie, Sarah, really, get your collective shit together.

The ending scene crushes me every time, even though I know it's coming. The heartbreak, the lies they tell each other, the look on Charlie's face as he watches Sarah walk away.

Gah. I love it. It's so perfectly angsty.

Stellar episode, 10/10, will always have a special place in my heart.

[comicaurora]

Hi! Not really an ask but I just wanted to say that whoever is poking fun at your unsexy artstyle is. Man. Ive never understood someone would ever do that, especially not where the artist can see it.

As a fellow ace artist, I honestly love it and find it very refreshing! You clearly draw what YOU love to draw and it’s great, works very well as a comic style!

Just thought you deserved some positivity in your inbox today

Aww! 💖 Thanks for your kind words, and I'm glad you like it! This style has been honed to draw what I personally find appealing, and being very ace myself that doesn't seem to have much overlap with what most people find visually appealing. Personally I find it rather disconcerting when beautiful characters have highlighted sexualized characteristics. If I catch one more person complaining that I don't draw nipples I'm gonna chew through a brick wall. You come into my house, on the day of my daughter's wedding-

No art is for everyone, especially not art as self-indulgent as mine, but it still stings when people poke fun at it, "improve" it, or comb through it looking for validation for preexisting grievances. I have stuff about being used as a punchline, so it gets under my skin more than it should.

This is why I work to stay out of fan-only spaces - those conversations are not meant for me. They're not intended to hurt me, and they're not being formulated with my perspective or feelings in mind. They're by fans, for fans, and it's ALWAYS weird when an author ends up in those spaces. It's why the number one rule among authors is never read your own reviews, and for god's sake never RESPOND to those reviews.

So while I wish people would appreciate my story for what it is instead of complaining about all the things it isn't, mostly I'm solving this frustration by staying in my lane and concentrating on telling the story I love telling.