bryannaron

[orbmanson7]

So I don't know why I'm thinking about CLBG at 4am but it resulted in thoughts on Roman angst and how they'll probably have to eventually resolve the absolute mess that's been made over the course of the series

The answers can be found in the episode CLBG.

In the episode, Thomas and Roman act out various scenes to help him lie but the part to focus on is the role assignment near the start of the scene.

Virgil and Logan are pushed to the back, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing because both of them (left brain bros) prefer to be out of the limelight anyway, merely providing assistance.

Then Roman says that he's "basically Orson Welles" to explain his roles are director, actor, and writer. He's then guilted into giving Patton the director role, and this is what is significant!

Because in this particular scenario? Patton doesn't know much of anything about lying, he doesn't care for lying on principle, so Roman taking the reins in this one would have made more sense, but Patton snatches that top role away, thanks to he (and Thomas) guilting Roman into handing it over. And then what does Patton do? Mostly sit in the audience and enjoy the show, occasionally calling out when Thomas does something wrong.

Now it's hard to fully analyze this analogy because we, the audience, know that Patton is actually Janus in disguise throughout most of the episode. But I think Janus playing into Patton's part of an overbearing morality was so well done that the others didn't notice until so much later on, which just goes to show how (mostly) accurately he was portrayed.

The reason this is Roman Angst™ is because Roman is taking on the spotlight with Thomas all on his own. Patton gets big credit as director, sure, but Patton isn't the one on stage. It's just Roman, creating and acting his heart out just for Thomas. He gives literally everything, his whole being, all to Thomas to be able to do this. And, from his perspective, he knows he can't actually do it alone, he needs Virgil handling the stressful stuff, battling away the stage fright and dealing with the inner machinations of handling lights, sound, props, standing on your mark, etc. These put Virgil in a more prominent position in order for Roman to be able to do his job(s) properly, which is concerning because that's a lot of work for Virgil to handle, too, especially as Literal Anxiety.

And then we have Logan, relegated to being stage manager/dramaturg. While this role suits him well, his job is quite literally to keep everyone on track and make sure they are following the script. If something goes wrong, it's meant to be his job to delegate another person to fix it quickly and efficiently. The only major problem shown in this scene, though, involves Virgil searching for a missing prop, which Roman was the one who demanded its necessity for the scene, not Logan (probably because it wasn't actually necessary). In essence, Logan doesn't really fulfill his stage manager duty during this scene, he almost entirely fills the role of a dramaturg. And while it's important and nice to have one, dramaturgs are often considered excessive in productions, only there to provide tidbits of information, should anyone choose to need it. Not a great sign for Logan's overall role in the series, that's all I'm saying.

Next, we're onto Patton as director. Like I mentioned before, he guilts Roman into giving him the role but then hardly used it to do much beyond criticizing Thomas, which is about 1:1 how it works for the rest of the series. Patton is very strict with Thomas but he also doesn't fully understand why, creating contradictions, even all the way back in CLBG, that are hard for Thomas to follow, leading to inevitable failure. And who takes on that failure? Mostly Thomas' ego - Roman.

Those failures are seen as fixable mistakes that Logan then attempts to remedy, by delegating or stepping in to assist, but because no one wants his help, he can only provide facts that the others rarely want to hear. This causes repeated failures because the problems aren't being resolved, which puts Virgil in a downward spiral, attempting to handle all the things going wrong, and feeling as though it's his own fault, when it's actually a culmination of factors that have led up to that point.

If Patton offered genuine direction (and maybe earned his role instead of demanding it) and explained what Roman and Thomas should try to do and not be so strict, constantly telling them what they do wrong instead of letting them feel out the space until they figure it out, then this would result in Roman's self-esteem improving phenomenally. He also should maybe relinquish a bit of that overwhelming control that he has, and allow not only Thomas but also the other sides to give their opinions more. Patton shouldn't be the only side with the final say, it should be more of a group effort, so he needs to learn to share and be more willing to listen to what others have to say.

Meanwhile, if Roman would allow others to have some input into his role of creating, acting, writing, etc. then he may feel less burdened and less helpless overall. He won't have to fully rely on everyone else (mainly Virgil) to help him complete his job, he could consult others and incorporate more ideas, flex his creativity without having to feel like it's an end-all be-all requirement. Additionally, this may improve his confidence, especially if he can earn praise from the others. He deserves appreciation for what he does for Thomas, and because of Thomas' choice in career, he is always going to have a very big part to play, but if he maybe shared that stage with a certain brother of his, he could better incorporate those new ideas and have a fellow creative to bounce his work off of, allowing him to meet new heights of creativity while also giving him a little less spotlight to stand under. He may not want that, since he enjoys his spotlight, but he genuinely needs at least a tiny bit less of that burden on himself. He needs to be able to take breaks, and if the others can play a more active role to better assist him, then he can finally do that.

Next, Logan needs more authority (and, really, more respect) than he currently has. His job is to keep them on schedule, but because of the chaos and unbalanced roles throughout, his job is nearly impossible to accomplish. He can tell them what to do, but he can't make them do it. If they listen to what he's saying and try to properly understand and incorporate what he's telling them, then things would absolutely run a lot smoother. Unfortunately, this would require Logan standing up for himself and maintaining a proper level of respect from Thomas and the other sides, which doesn't exist in the series at the moment.

But that's not the only problem. Logan is also not meant to have any spotlight, he's meant to delegate his tasks so that others can take up their roles when needed. Instead, because they are so busy, needed for other things, or just don't want to do it, Logan has been taking on these tasks himself instead of delegating, because it won't get done at all if he doesn't. So, he will need to stop micro-managing, giving up what little control he does have, but only if it is then properly replaced by the others listening when he speaks and taking on those tasks when assigned. If he gives up all control and the others don't take up the mantle to do their part of the job, the job will simply go unfinished and the chaos will become immensely worse. There's a lot of give and take needed for Logan's role to be successful, and right now, it will be a delicate operation to get it in working order.

And then there's Virgil, who is mostly left with all the operational tasks the right brain guys don't want to do, and since all the other parts of the production have already gone to hell, Virgil is in a constant state of stress, dealing with the aftermath. Virgil needs some order to be introduced, less chaos and mistakes, just so he can have a moment of reprieve to collect himself and then keep trekking on. He can fulfill this role, but it would probably be a lot easier if he wasn't required to do it alone. Having an extra hand or two to keep everything running smoothly would be benefit him greatly, and to not only keep an eye on how everything is running, recognizing if something has gone wrong (or how it might soon), but to help keep Thomas calm and less anxious - almost like someone who would put Thomas' priorities first, someone who cares about Thomas' self-preservation (and also maybe has extra arms), perhaps?

Additionally, Virgil needs to be willing to ask for help and be a little more forthcoming when he thinks something is wrong. He's gone into older habits more recently in the series, hiding away from Thomas instead of handling stressful situations, which is negatively impacting Thomas and the others in result. If the lighting guy were to make a mistake during a production and instead of fixing it and moving forward, he just disappeared where no one could find him, it wouldn't solve anything. The show would just be stuck until someone else tried to fix it or they found the lighting guy and tried to help him fix it, letting him know he can ask for help or rely on others to provide assistance when needed.

Virgil needs to be made aware that he has supports to lean on, but then he also needs to be willing to lean on them when the time comes.

This will help keep him (and Thomas) calmer and less stressed, while also feeling supported, and still fulfill the needed roles to keep things running smoothly.

Overall, the current production (aka Thomas' state of mind) is a torrent of chaos. If he's going to rely so much on his sides to help him out, he needs to properly listen to all of them, even the ones he would rather pretend didn't exist.

Tldr; in order for things to improve, Patton needs to be less strict, Roman needs to let others help him, Logan needs to be listened to, and Virgil needs to be made aware he is supported and then let others help him, too. Remus and Janus also need to be included in ways where they can help and not constantly be pushed away.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens, though.

[justworthlessreblogs]

scattered thoughts on kirapika 2

part 2 of my great kirapika rant. this one is shorter but i'm still putting it under a read more

the series tries to argue that rio's sole motivation for going evil was jealously but i disagree (to an extent) because that is a 12 or 13 year old alone in an unfamiliar city without any support system (i mean. it's just straight up canon that he and ciel started to drift apart during this time, he doesn't really seem to have had as much of a bond with jean-pierre as ciel does, he probably didn't interact with anyone else, and i think it's pretty telling that at some point he started exclusively working on his stuff in their attic instead of jean-pierre's workshop). jealously was absolutely a factor, yes, but he was also incredibly isolated and emotionally vulnerable (something we know noir specifically preys on). mentioned this to my beta once and he said that noir sounds like a textbook cult leader

in the end, rio and ciel just feel very... incomplete, as characters. like they get setup for arcs that never happen, but the show insists that they did.

ciel: i've said this before, but to me ciel is the sort of character who needs a broken pedestal. because when we meet her, she's already got everything. she's perfect in every way. and then you start seeing the cracks, tiny little flaws that sneak through. because ciel *is* flawed. she's selfish, she's shortsighted, she's got a tendency to only think about herself. she can't comprehend why ichika's "simple" sweets have so much kirakiraru even though they're not as fancy as her sweets. and i love it. i was so hyped for seeing how her intro was going to turn out while watching her introductory arc, because they had so much to work with.

the problem with ciel as a character is that she needs a moment of reckoning, but she never gets it. she comes very, very close in 23, but it's immediately undercut by the fact that she isn't the one who gets herself out of her slump (it's rio and ichika who do) and she gets rewarded despite doing nothing to really earn the reward. ciel just wallows around, then rio makes the waffles and makes her feel better, but it's ciel who gets to become a cure? it's just... disappointing. things just fall into her lap, and others do the work for her, but she gets to reap the reward. when watching 23 for the first time i thought that it really felt like set up for *rio's* debut as a cure, and i still stand by that. it's the apex of his redemption arc, the episode where he gets his big emotional realization and resolves to become a better person. and while as previously mentioned they try to give ciel something like that, it falls flat because she never does any of the emotional work.

and then after 23 ciel is just... there. it feels like the writers don't really know what to do with her character arc since its primary focus is her relationship with her brother, but they just put him in a coma for 16 episodes. and so ciel just kinda Exists. none of her episodes during this stretch are all that interesting except for 26 and that's because she's got really good chemistry with bibury - but they don't even really take advantage of that, either, because bibury disappears from the plot again until 32 and remains in the background after that! the implication in 26 that ciel has developed a bit of a savior complex based on her interactions with bibury is really interesting too, but once again they don't really do anything with it after that. ciel offers bibury a home and that's about it.

"but justie, you said that ciel gets to define herself as a character! why are you complaining about how aimless she is?" and yeah that's fair, i did. but when i say that ciel gets define herself i mean that more in accomplishments. because ciel has a *lot* of accomplishments, to the point where it gets a little ridiculous. she's perfect at literally everything except sometimes she mixes up her idioms in japanese, and that's a character trait that shows up so little that i usually forget it even exists. and they don't do anything with this perfection, either, unlike yukari. ciel's perfect because she just is.

anyways. ciel kinda floats along for a while, and then 41 happens, and they try to tell me that ciel's grown and changed and become a really great person, except i don't buy it because she's still saying thoughtless stuff at the literal emotional climax. and it frustrates me, because i can see her potential character arc - but the writers refuse to commit to it. at the end of the show, ciel is the same exact person she was at the start, except now she's got fancy precure powers too.

rio: rio gets an incomplete arc more in the sense that he literally isn't around to complete it. i'll die on the hill that the coma was the worst thing the show could've done. because all of rio's development that he'd been getting vanishes after 23, and while 41 tries to develop him more it falls flat for me because in my opinion it's too little, too late. they waste his last chance for development on a generic "redeemed villain feels bad about what they did" plot, and they don't even have fun with it! as i've already mentioned in the other post after the coma rio just becomes kind of a shell of himself. a lot of interesting things set up during the first half of the series vanish because we only get to have one episode with him and they waste it on "oh i feel bad about my crimes" and they don't even do it well because just like ciel in 23 rio doesn't get to sort out his own shit. he's the one being framed, he's the one being targeted, he's the one who wanted to run away - but it's ciel who confronts elisio, because ciel is the precure and the precure has to be the one to confront the villain, and rio just stands there uselessly in the background even though his arc is supposed to be about how he's not useless and can measure up to his sister. the underlying message of the arc we do get is just. depressing. rio struggles, and struggles, and tries so fucking hard, but no matter what he does he's still second best to ciel. and for a show like precure, "you'll never be good enough so you should just give up and accept your place in the background" is really, really bleak. he needs a confidence arc the way ciel needs a broken pedestal arc, and he never gets it, and his really interesting dynamics with characters - ichika and yukari specifically - vanish into the wind, because the writers decided the coma was a better option instead of exploring them. in my opinion, 41 should have been episode 24, or 25, or somewhere in that range. because it feels like the behavior of both ciel and rio would fit a lot better there. patching up their relationship is the beginning, not the ending. there's still a lot of development to be done. you can't just tell me that everything's fine now.

i think cure parfait could've worked, but the way it happens in canon just is Not It

this one is tangentially related but i'm putting it in here anyways: i also think cure pekorin could've worked if we'd actually gotten some setup for it. like yeah 38 was an episode that happened and she gets focus in 7 as well but i feel like pekorin as a character just mostly exists in the background. and then suddenly bam she's a precure despite never really showing any drive to be one or do that sort of thing. even removing all my biases i still think that for the sake of the narrative alone rio would've been a much better fit because he already had that motivation and it would've been a nice cap on his redemption arc imo, but if pekorin was given actual setup and foreshadowing aside from getting a human form in 38 i think it would've gone a lot better

[avalonauggie]

Re: last reblog bc I don’t want to put my outright criticism on a post full of Bridgerton fans BUT—

there’s accepted norms of a romance novel series that straight up make for bad television, and just because it’s escapist fluff doesn’t mean it should be immune from all analysis.

F’ex: the structure of the seasons is repetitive in a way that makes sense for a book series. Each installment covers a different couple meeting, encountering obstacles and overcoming them to get their HEA. That is what people come to the romance genre FOR.

It’s absolute dogshit for a tv show, though! We have all joked about tv shows being allergic to change, shows where a major development at the end of one season will be returned to the status quo by the end of next season’s premiere, because to resolve the larger story means the show is out of gas.

Romance series run on variations on a theme. Tv series run on keeping the larger story spinning out, and in a lot of romance series there ISNT a larger overarching plot. For the pure fluff escapism value authors/publishers/readers want something they can pick up any installment of and not have trouble following it. These types of books I feel like…just can’t be adapted for tv in the same way bigger grander fantasy epics are.

Netflix made a passable effort and clearly it has a dedicated audience, but the fact is that by season 3 the plot feels repetitive and boring in a way that if wouldn’t, if I were reading a book.

The OTHER problem is, yeah, the efforts at diversity. And I feel like it’s only gotten more glaring as the show has progressed.

I honestly feel like Netflix and Shondaland could have just gone ahead with the colorblind casting in season 1 and not made any mention of it, or leaned on the “it’s escapist fantasy!��� angle and who gives a fuck about the pedants on Twitter who’d rage at the altar of Historical Accuracy. I feel like that would have been the braver choice tbh.

But they didn’t do that! They supplied a Watsonian justification for Black nobility in regency England, and making that kind of choice about your worldbuilding raises a shitton of questions that I don’t think they were prepared to answer.

Alix, you may say, it’s not meant to be questioned like that! It’s a sugary cupcake! well I’m sorry but it’s a different experience watching a show vs reading a book, where everything between the covers exists in that little bubble. A show expands the world of the story, there’s colors and fabrics and the narration isn’t just following the MC, there’s a camera capturing the MC, and her friends and family, and the servants in the background, and I can’t NOT think about the things implied by what the camera shows.

So here’s the thing: Bridgerton rests on an ahistorical conspiracy theory that Queen Charlotte had African ancestry, which is problematic on its own, but it takes this assumption and extrapolates it to “hey the king was so in love with his wife that he ENDED RACISM (for some people)(in this specific place)” in order to justify the casting choices of the showrunners.

So yeah I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder what Black Queen Charlotte feels about the slaves in the new world who are making her wealth possible so she can have clockwork ballet dancers in her giant wig. Or what Lady Danbury feels, or what Simon Basset feels, or MY GOD what Will Mondrich feels. (The mondrich’s arc in season 3 is honestly the most disappointing because it was legitimately interesting to see the contrast between free Black britons and how their lives touched the bejeweled elites in precarious ways, but no! Their son is a duke or an earl now so hey, they get to wear the fancy clothes and go listen to Vitamin String Quartet with the rest of the characters!)

But none of the Black characters (the ones who are given personalities and are more than tokenized room meat, anyway) seem to have any response to this world other than “we’re very lucky to be here.” And that’s disappointing but hey it’s a romance novel the audience doesn’t want to be bummed out.

But now I have to wonder, what’s the East India company doing in this world? what’s happening that caused the Sharma sisters to come into the story in season 2? Was there a similar anti-racist royal triumph for the Desi nobles at all the balls? For the East Asian nobles? where did they COME from? And what’s it like for their cultures OUTSIDE of England? But bridgerton isn’t interested in exploring any of that, and we just need to forget about it and enjoy the fluff. Right?

Season 3 seems to be leaning into the “hey look, this world is so wonderful that ANYONE can wear fancy dress and find love! Look how diverse it is!” even harder than the previous two installments, which is honestly…worse? I feel like it’s worse.

I can believe the nobleman in the wheelchair, especially since he’s introduced as a sort of lowball training wheels flirt target for Poor Awkward Penelope, and ok he does come back in the balloon ep so it’s not like they put a disabled man in the show for one scene to prove how progressive they are 😑 he’s in TWO scenes, guys! Totally different! But honestly this is the regency, there SHOULD be some fucking…napoleonic war vets around somewhere. It’s not completely unbelievable.

I have GOT to wonder what the fuck is going on with the one Deaf debutante signing her dismay to her mom in BSL that the Queen wasn’t impressed with her curtsy, though! In what world was this girl not left to waste away at the family estate???? How did George and Charlotte’s love conquer racism AND uhhhh longstanding historical attitudes towards disability??? It strains belief. Also she’s only in that one scene so she is ABSOLUTELY just a token. Thanks lady so and so! Hope you find a husband, I fucking guess!

And speaking of finding a husband, here’s the thing that really pisses me off personally about Bridgerton. the more diversity the show puts into each scene and season, the more glaring (and, frankly, insulting) it is that queerness is still demonized in this beautiful fluffy sugary escapist fantasy.

Benedict had one (1) artist friend in season 1 who turned out to be a Secret Homosexual living in Bohemian Debauchery, and two of the prostitutes Colin sleeps with in season 3 share a really tepid nude embrace with off-camera kissing noises when he’s too troubled by the realization of his feelings for Pen to like. Enjoy his threesome he paid for. Hooray.

It’s fucking rotten, really, to be presented with this world that says “everyone is welcome here!” In big glittery begowned spring colors, and then offhand says “not YOU though.” It’s disgusting, and cowardly, and really exemplifies how the people making this show want to have their cake and eat it too, be diverse but not too divisive, and toe the line of mainstream audience acceptability. Yes there’s a lot of steamy sex scenes and female pleasure but in the end, it literally is all in the service of a world where everyone, EVERYONE who’s allowed to be a character, is focused nonstop on finding love in a marriage.

I didn’t know a lot about the Bridgerton books when I started watching season one, and I was pleasantly surprised by the very clearly baby gay sibling Eloise, who chafes at the feminine expectations her family and society puts on her. But then…in the books, she marries a widower and eventually falls in love with him I gueee, and in the show….all of her individual potential is sidelined in favor of her now-rocky friendship with Penelope. And I need to give the show credit, the writing of these storylines about growing pains and female friendship and social ostracism fucking HIT. It’s deeply affecting and done well.

So it’s clear that the show isn’t afraid to shy away from SOME heavy emotional content! Just not the queer kind! Or the kind that questions where the money is coming from. Or the kind that questions whether Francesca needs to find romantic love at all, mom, since she’s clearly happy without it!

I don’t know if I’ll watch the second half of season 3 when it drops. Honestly, the ball scenes, the gossip, all that was done SO well that it left a bad taste in my mouth, just like real middle/high school dances did. I am left feeling like in this beautiful glittering amatonormative world, someone like me would still be too much of a freak to find any happiness, despite how welcoming it purports to be. And that just sucks.

Another quibble I have with season 3 is how vastly it’s expanded the characters it gives plot lines to. Like. Ok. Sure. I have to question why it was ok to do this and divide the screen time away from the main character in the installment when the MC is a fat girl. As opposed to the previous seasons. And I don’t think this was even a conscious decision, likely. BUT it’s a little odd to have the steamy escapist sex romp elements be given less screen time in favor of redeeming Caustic Bully Mean Girl Cressida, you know? Why does Penelope have to share tv real estate when Kate and Daphne didn’t? Kate HAS MORE SEX SCENES IN THIS SEASON THAN PENELOPE????

Last point and this is mostly a joke but HEY at least the overwhelming amount of synthetic fabrics means that England isn’t obsessively focused on destroying India and the Americas in its insatiable hunger for cotton, right?

Right?

Ok anyway Bridgerton is afraid of the questions it raises by the choices it makes, it is a cowardly show attempting to hide all criticism under the veneer of escapist fantasy, and it’s increasingly straining to work as television as the charm of the novels grows stale and repetitive.

[frostiifae]

So, I dunno, thoughts about Witch from Mercury (including spoilers under readmore, so, y'know), because it seems like it's a cool thing to do, i guess. Maybe made more or less interesting because this is the first Gundam series I've actually paid full attention to.

In short, it's good! It's very good. But, I dunno, can't give it top marks as an alltime favorite. There are lots of superficial problems that probably mattered much more to me than they would to the average viewer, and like, you could argue that they just aren't even problems, I guess.

The biggest thing I can criticize without spoiling much of anything is that it dangles a lot over your head and then waits a long time to resolve almost any of it. It's tough for people who get anxiety, like me : ). No, that's not why I'm writing this post. This isn't a coping mechanism. Fuck off.

To reiterate, though, on the whole: good. Good show. Good stuff. Don't click "keep reading" unless you want to read a fucking novel, OK?

I have to say I think the strongest character of the show bar none is Prospera, but at the same time, she showcases the recurring problems I have with the show: firstly, that they spend way too long making Prospera sound sinister without you understanding at all why, and secondly, that it's a real shame we didn't get to learn more about her feelings and why (and how?) she'd gone to all of this trouble. I understand her goal in the abstract is to "create a world where Eri can exist", but it's not clear how exactly she intends to do that, and maybe it's just me, but those practical details can be really important in selling me on an idea.

Even so, I adore her. I adore the way she possesses so much influence over the plot despite having very little economic or political power herself - she just understands people, she understands what's at stake, and she understands how to manipulate things to get what she wants. I was so delighted to learn about her true motivation, imagine a girl kicking her feet and squealing as Prospera taunts Miorine about hearing the voices of her past that are urging her to seek vengeance. I wish she could have done more. I also wish she looked better. That helmet fucking sucked, dudes. C'mon.

I really want to say kind things about Suletta and Miorine, too - they had lovely character arcs in both seasons, Miorine in particular was a joy to have on screen at all times - but, ultimately, I also found them both very frustrating. The most engaging members of the cast by and large were side characters, my personal favorites being Chuchu, Nika, and Norea. (I guess Guel turned out pretty okay too.) It was a joy watching Norea go off the fucking deep end, even if her portrayal was a little shallow until it was a smidge too late; her final fight was beautiful and touching, especially the part where she went on a massive rampage and killed a lot of innocent people. I love me a hot girl who's a violent mass murderer.

Jokes aside; I found both of the main characters frustrating, but for different reasons. Suletta was the less frustrating of the two. Throughout season 1 I kept cringing at her total powerlessness within the narrative, which I know is kind of the point, but that doesn't mean I have to like it; at least in season 2 she develops a thin veneer of agency, and more to the point, the writers demonstrate that her lack of actual agency is in fact horrifying and not some kind of endearing country-bumpkin quirk, but it feels like it takes a long time before she can finally actually engage in the world she lives in.

To be clear, I don't just mean "she can decide for herself what she wants to do", that's her final arc, I know, I get it; more what I mean is, it feels like Suletta exists in a totally different show, an entirely different setting, for 75% of the show's runtime. She's not just clueless about all of the business politics and Earth vs Space racism; she's immune to it, it simply doesn't affect her, even when it badly hurts people she cares about, because she's unable to comprehend it, and can abstract away any threat behind Aerial's cockpit and duel herself to safety without ever understanding what was even at stake.

It's like Ender's Game but Ender himself never actually participates in any of the school politics, he just kinda is a prodigy in his own corner while the real story happens around him. If you're going to create a character who is powerless in the narrative, don't then shield her in the cockpit of a Gundam for the entire show, you know? If you're going to threaten me with her inability to understand what is going on, make good on that threat!! It just felt wasteful. She spent 16 episodes being a joke that we keep hoping will make Miorine smile, 2 episodes being depressed, and then the last 6 episodes being an actual character, and the tragedy is that I really liked that character and wish she'd been around for longer.

Miorine was much more fun, but also, much more frustrating. I wasn't especially into her character early in season 1, but she was at least a bitch in a fun (and highly sympathetic) way, and unlike Suletta she grew into a real character very fast, and got to spend the whole show actually having a meaningful impact on events around her. It was great! I have a few very small gripes about things she does - like the way she chooses to cut Suletta loose. I understand she's doing it for Suletta's safety, and I understand she's doing it because she believes Suletta won't be able to comprehend that reasoning - after all, their whole arc in season 1 was about depending on each other, and Miorine is being pressured into going back on her promise.

On the one hand, though, I feel like it was weird of her not even to try. At least try to explain to Suletta, listen, things are getting worse, you are going to get hurt, I don't want that, I need you to stop being Holder for your sake. You could even twist the knife further by having Suletta react with heartbreak but willingly agree when Prospera doubles down and tells her to do as Miorine says - imagine how betrayed and disgusted with herself Miorine would feel! For them to leave her completely in the dark, for her to fully betray Suletta with no warning and no attempted justification at all - and especially for Suletta to not question that - it just felt weird.

On the other hand, though, I'm really shocked and disappointed that Miorine didn't express more guilt over that decision. Given that her arc in season 1 revolves around recognizing that relying on Suletta is what makes Suletta happy, and she cares enough about Suletta to give her that kind of trust, you can't tell me that - even if she really believes it's necessary - she can just turn around and betray Suletta like she does and feel no remorse over it.

Overall this is a larger problem I have with Miorine; we don't get enough time with her feelings, so when everything finally collapses and she has a meltdown, it doesn't sell very well. I wanna be clear: I'll open the door myself is one of my favorite moments in the whole show, and that's why I'm sad. It could have been so much more, if we had had more time to see Miorine's heartache over what she did to her best friend, not to mention how tense and uncertain she must have been handing her full trust to Prospera, or leading a negotiation to Earth with the weight of Gundam's history resting squarely on her shoulders. I love cool, calm, reserved characters who can handle tense interpersonal conflict with a stern decisiveness. Miorine should be a slam dunk for me. But the best part about those characters is seeing behind the mask, even if only for little bits at a time, and there's just not enough.

Honestly, though, it's hard for me to hold anything against season 2 especially, because I think most of what frustrates me comes down to there not being enough time, and holy fuck, does that season go hard. I'm very ready to believe that there was all kinds of stuff cut from S2 because the sheer volume of things happening was so much. It's a shame to think that it's let down by its own density, that there was just too much happening to fit all of it into 12 episodes without a few things being left behind. There wasn't time for Miorine to introspect, there wasn't time for Miorine and Suletta to develop their relationship, there wasn't time for Prospera to get even more unhinged and weird, there wasn't time to examine how we could actually improve the world and its troubles, we just had too much to do. It's an unenviable position to be in, and I think it's fair to say the show does a great job with what it has.

Umm. Is there anything else? I could talk about the dudes. I could gush about Norea and Sophie, I guess, but I doubt I have anything particularly interesting to add there, I'm sure the takes "Norea is hot" and "I wish they could have been more toxic yuri on screen" are lukewarm at best. I could talk about Eri, I suppose, but I don't feel really strongly about her - I think she's weird, her presence as a character is very strange, the fact that she was a protagonist is weird, and just like with everything else, I think it comes down to a lack of time to be able to really get into understanding her. I can't say it's a mistake, really, so that'll just stay a mystery, and it's one I don't especially care to solve anyway. She can stay a weirdo for all I care.

Uh, I think that's kinda all? Oh, what, robot designs? Uh, Aerial over Calibarn, don't @ me. They're both sick tho.

[kaguyasamaloveiswarfirstkiss]

Kaguya Sama: Love Is War - The First Kiss That Never Ends Movie download !

Spoiler free review*

This is not a movie. It's a collection of 5 episodes from a "Season 3.5" put back to back, and released together as a movie. And this narrative arc is far from good enough to support that betrayal of expectations.

I am sure I was mislead by the promotional material showcasing this story as a standalone movie, because an anime movie to me is a mothership for a series. It's there to showcase what the series has best to offer to its audience, be it in animation, character design, story, music, pacing, character alchemy or whatever have you. This ticks none of those boxes for me.

If you have watched a narrative arc unfold in a show, you know what to expect. It follow the classical narrative structure in three parts, but where it fails to me is in its third act. I don't feel like I witnessed much progression for any situation. One character has been developed (they badly needed it) but that is it. My problem lies in the fact that the movie created a problem that didn't exist in the first three seasons, only to resolve it and come back to where we left the whole cast at the end of season 3. And that is the biggest sin this movie has committed, the story didn't progress.

There is one obvious narrative choice that betrays the non-movie nature of this movie, it's the inter titles. Just like in the show, every ~10 minutes you get an inter title, with a one-panel comic punchline on it and a brightly coloured background, with the title of the movie shown on it. But it doesn't even interrupt the flow of the story. Why? Because the story has been built in 10-minute segments, just like the show was. it is a continued story, and not 9 side stories that sometimes interact with each other, but not a continuous take.

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Characters 10/10The cast of Kaguya-Sama Love is War is amazing, that's not new, but the movie just made them all even more awesome. Well, I could write a lot of "this is incredible, this too" for hours, I'll try to limit myself even though it will be tough.First of all, let's talk about Maki, because she's fucking great in the movie. She's a bit of a comrade to us, she accompanies us in her loneliness as a good spectator of all this romance, and we share her feelings. It's just way too funny, because she says the same things we think, and we need her for the overall balance of the piece, and to stick to the thematic message of the movie about love in a more general way. Her way of helping Miyuki by listening to him, of understanding how difficult the feeling of love can be to deal with, it was just a fantastic scene. I could also talk about Yuu Ishigami and Tsubame-senpai because we also had the right to a little development in their relationship, or Chika and her sister who are too funny and adorable, but let's just talk about the essential: KAGUYA SHINOMIYA AND MIYUKI SHIROGANE I LOVE YOU! I

A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you.Story: 9.6/10Animation: 8.7/10Characters: 9.3/10Sound: 9.1/10Entertainment factor: 9.6/10Enjoyment: 9.8/10

[the-suicidal-lizard]

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Why Season 3 Would Be A Bad Idea… Nerd Time.

First look at those nerds, those dweebs, those goofs. I love them and want to squeeze them. Okay onward!

I’m gonna get hate for this… and I accept that. But, please hear me out. For personal reasons first of all, I’m happy how it ended because if Venus was introduced as fans theorised I’d be disappointed because Venus is my LEAST favourite character. (Probably because I really disliked the Next Mutation.) Now my personal reasons are out of the way with, let’s get technical.

Have any of you watched a TMNT show where it was consistently good? And I mean, up until the last seasons? Because I haven’t.

The 1987 version was non-linear, much like Rise is, HOWEVER Rise has a beginning and ending. 1987 didn’t, but that was from the 80’s and it was bound to be silly. It was made to sell toys and the episodes were made around the toys, so obviously it wasn’t going to be linear. Then it was cancelled without an actual ending (no shock).

Okay, so! 2003! They actually had a good arc! Season 5 was meant to be the last season, but they were in demand and made Season 6 (Fast Forward) and Season 7 (Back to the Sewers) in which it became ridiculous, repetitive and just boring. The designs were less dark and rough, and more childish and bright. Not to mention even the future ideas were dumb. Like, you offed Shredder plenty of times you don’t need him back! (Thought Season 6 has a soft spot in my heart due to the Dark Turtles.) So it was cancelled without a solid ending.

How about 2012? A similar thing happened. Half way through Season 3 it was already getting a bit silly, I mean they were to space, then there was Dracula, and it was just… so much… like they turned emo at one point! It was insane! (Again, the space arc is special to me due to the Journey into the Centre of Mikey’s Mind.) So again, this was cancelled with a sad excuse of a final episode.

Even the 1990’s Movies! By the third movie, it is agreed upon that that movie is the worst. And The Next Mutation didn’t get a second season, but the again it is generally agreed upon that The Next Mutation is a poor TMNT adaptation. (2007 never got that sequel with the focus on Mikey due to layoffs and the director leaving, and Astro Boy bombed, thus causing the studio to go bankrupt.)

So, what would have happened with Rise? The same thing. By Season whatever, it would become ridiculous, and stupid, maybe repetitive and it would be cancelled without enough time to make a good, solid ending. Rise got Character Development (something 1987 and 2012 didn’t get), a plot with goofy episodes showing the bond in brotherhood (something 2012 didn’t get), a final where everything’s resolved (something none of the previous shows got), and a movie which had a solid story, character development and it didn’t feel like it was for nostalgia sake or even a cash grab. (Something 2012 didn’t get.)

Turtles Forever is a crossover movie with 1987 and 2003, but the marketing was handled poorly and was released for TV rather than a full length movie in the cinema and it was poor due to the style changes for the 2003 gang. Though it is considered to be non-canon, unlike the Rise Movie, and again, unlike the Rise Movie, it wasn’t given a theatrical release.

Now, could there have been more character development for the Rise Gang? Oh definitely! Leo could show his leadership skills developing, Mikey could show his skills developing, Donnie could develop his emotional skills and Raph could help Leo co-lead and develop his skills to relax. Casandra could be given more screen time and character development, as could Draxum and Big Mama. But don’t forget, you guys got a theatrical release movie (at least in China) and the movie never had problems with that release like Turtles Forever (such as ratio problems and cutting time down), you guys got an actual ending to the series, with decent character development and story arcs, and new characters and places. And don’t forget, the seasons always got ridiculous after the first few seasons…

That being said I would still watch Season 3-however many seasons they would do of Rise TMNT, because I like TMNT… I’m just being technical.

[fizzingwizard]

Watched the first ep of Lupin Zero! Unfortunately you have to register for a premium account to see ep 2, and there's a 30 day free trial, but they wouldn't accept my card, don't know why, will try again some other time I guess.

my thoughts below, a little bit spoilery

Episode one was fun and cute but I don't get it. Like, I understand the story, I just don't get why it was made. Why make it about kid Lupin? (answer: because it's Lupin and lots of people will watch it regardless of quality lol) It's such an interesting premise, but the episode is paced So. Damn. Fast. I was thinking this feels more like the summary of a cool episode than a cool episode well-executed - which is how I felt through most of part 6, even though the creative team is different. Kind of a bummer.

There were some really fun bits, like the chaotic scene in the night club, and Lupin and Jigen being little boys (I say that because they pillow fight and stuff, but c'mon, we all know they still do things like that). The scene with the cigarette at the end I loved of course, and the tea/coffee scene was funny (although, since Lupin already put in three sugar lumps, I'm not sure why he still found it bitter. Maybe he usually puts in six? lol) I liked the voice acting overall. They do a good job imitating Lupin and Jigen's speech styles, even though Jigen in particular does not sound like a child. Well, he was probably born with a full beard and smoking a cigarette.

I thought the animation was so-so. Sometimes I liked it and it reminded me of parts 4/5. Other times it was just really missing atmosphere. Like with Youko, her face is great, the expressions are just like Rebecca. But the animators were so concerned with making sure she had gigantic breasts that they forgot to give her proportionate legs... It's possible it just looks that way on my screen, but none of the other characters struck me as out of proportion. She looks freakishly top-heavy much of the time.

Story-wise... Well, you have a great concept: Lupin as the family heir, unsure of what path he wants to take, and he meets Jigen and they bond through a typical Lupin-style adventure. But there's no tension, no emotional build-up. The story happens exactly as it's laid out. They meet, they save Youko, the animators waste the budget on having her sing to them for some reason, they save her again, Lupin and Jigen unprompted decide to gush about their pasts and problems without issue despite having been close-lipped about it until then, they save the day. Aside from moments of friendly banter, there really isn't anything more going on. So the episode delivers what it promises... and only what it promises lol.

I just have no idea why they need to be kids. I don't know why Jigen stuck with Lupin. I don't know why Lupin decided to gush about his problems to Jigen out of the blue. I just don't know. XD

So I guess from here the question is what is the overarching theme of the series. If there is one. Possibly there's not and it's all just for shits and giggles. If so, the trailers shouldn't have made such a big deal about Lupin's struggle to determine his own path and escape being kept under his family's thumb. But I assume that's going to continue to play a role - it can't have been resolved in this first episode... can it? hahah. I have no faith in anything anymore.

oh also Jigen gets shot. I couldn't believe it. Episode one and he's already getting shot. And this ridiculous sad music starts to play as Lupin just stares at him clutching his bloody arm lmao. It's like the episode tried to make up for its lackluster parts by shooting Jigen. "If we shoot this guy the fans will forget that we didn't crank up the tension at all." lol

I wanna give this a chance, but yeah, the first episode is very forgettable. Not terrible, though. Like I said at first, it's cute and rather fun. Very middle of the road Lupin story is all. Too hyped for what it really is, in my opinion.

That being said. All may change with future episodes. Sometimes first episodes are treated as a summary of what the whole season overall will be like, and that's why they have a bit too much going on. Maybe the rest of the episodes will take better care with their pacing.

[gorematchala]

I think my final verdict on FFXV is that it sucks really bad but, as a movie, I like watching it suck cuz theres good stuff in there, and its just kinda fascinating overall

The game has absolutely no value to me in terms of actual gameplay. It's got bad combat on top of tedious open world bullshit. Don't care. But as movies on youtube...

Kingsglaive is actually kinda good, but that may be biased by the fact that Aaron Paul is the lead, and also that I watched it immediately after Advent Children which is the worst garbage ever. The story has two plot threads that proceed in a logical manner and then converge at the 70% mark and resolve in a satisfying conclusion. Thats all I can ask of a film. Advent Children sucks so bad I still can't believe it after 48 entire hours

The main game movie is mostly inoffensive even though it only kinda makes sense? It's totally fine once you get what's happening, but there isn't enough information in there. But I like Noctis, and Ardyn is the best. There are other characters as well

Episode Gladiolus is nothing

Episode Prompto was shockingly bad, like holy fuck. The shit opens on 3 minutes of walking in the snow, followed by Metal Gear, then Prompto has a meltdown because he finds out he was grown in a tube, which doesnt really seem to do anything for him. Like he isn't extra strong as a result or anything. So he tries to burn his barcode off and hes screaming and crying in the snow while I'm sitting here remembering how little of a fuck Noctis and them give when he tells them. Like all this shit happens and hes freaking out and they go yeah who cares. Then he spends 25 minutes shooting an RE5 turret at a big worm. Awful

Episode Ignis was kinda cool. I like Ravus well enough and Ignis is at least capable and good at what he does if nothing else. I think I came around on him despite his britishness because Prompto is annoying and Gladio is kind of an asshole for no reason randomly. And the realest moment in the whole base game is the two of them arguing over whether or not Ignis should be allowed to travel with them like he isn't there listening to them. That and Gladio dealing with his own frustration about everything that happened at Altissia by yelling at Noctis for being sad while Ignis is blind. Basically using Ignis's situation as justification to vent on someone. In the middle of this weird chopped up shell of a plot they take a moment to very accurately portray how the people around someone will often make their newfound disability about them. It was neat

Episode Ardyn was both the best and worst part of the whole plot. It justifies his motivation and shows you exactly how we got where we did, but at the same time, it sucks when Bahamut explains that none of this matters because it was preordained by fate. It made me feel for Ardyn because he almost existed outside that fate but was still bound by it. Cursed to spend his whole life waiting for Noctis to be born and kill him, just because that's the hand he was dealt by his own brother. Or was it his brother? Was it fate? Where did the plague come from? Why does melting people give him their memories? Why can he sometimes stop time? Who decided upon this prophecy? Why was Ardyn made the embodiment of darkness? Why did killing him solve the problem?

The whole thing is stupid when you view it as a series of events that happen just because they have to. But there's still something about it that makes me want to like it. Maybe it's just the ghost of Versus XIII. The promise of spending the game walking around that city instead of driving through the desert. Idk. But at the end of the day, Noctis is really good in Theatrhythm and he's fun to play as in Tekken, so I guess it was all worth it

[ninjaboyjoel]

A Far Too Long Sonic Prime Post

Not my usual content I know but I thought it would be worth talking about.

I watched all of Sonic Prime season 1!

I didn't really enjoy it... I wanted to... So badly... but it was quite dull.

The new voice cast do a good job though not having Mike Pollock as Eggman just felt so wrong. The animation is nice and bouncy and lively for the most part, though it definitely has its ups and downs in terms of quality, some shots look quite bad and the reused animation is not subtle at all. They recap past episodes so frequently to pad out the runtime, it's terrible (I audibly groaned every time that palm tree flashback played, did they really think we wouldn't notice?).

I appreciate that it's a kids show, obviously, but I really can't tell who the target demographic is, the dialogue is too wordy and exposition-heavy for younger kids, and the story is way too simplistic and unsubtle for older kids. That's just how I feel at least.

The plot went absolutely nowhere. I hate this Netflix model of having a season solely exist to hype up the next one. Shadow did nothing in the plot at all and existed just to tease stuff at the end. The story was incredibly thin, repetitive and uninteresting. Sonic is constantly confused by the alternate universe versions of his friends not being exactly the same as his prime universe friends. It grates pretty hard.

Every time, he'll find one of his friends is acting out in an alternate universe and decide he has to change the way they're acting because it's not cool, (Tails in Literally 1984, Amy in the Jungle and Knuckles in the Pirates) and they'll do some fighting and arguing and he'll preach to them about being more cool and then things will resolve after some kerfuffle.

It sounds like a good formula on paper but barely anything is layered on top of that, it's just a little barebones and it stops it from being fun. I think part of that problem is the fact that it is episodic but the plotlines span 2-3 episodes each, which is way way longer than needed, especially with 23 minute episodes. I think if each plotline and location was condensed down into a single episode it'd be way more fun, fast-paced and fresh. When we spend 3 episodes in a jungle with a villain that basically only says "stop hurting the green" it gets tiresome, it didn't need to be a mini-arc it could have been a single epsiode. That's just my take anyway.

Many of the outfits are really overdesigned, especially Sonic's shoes they do not look good at all in my opinion. And what was the obsession with giving Tails robotic tails?? Even in the pirate universe?? For what reason? And why was Amy a villain in two out of three of the alternate universes, what did the writers have against her 😭.

Going into this show I expected it to be way more episodic, going to a new universe every episode or something, I didn't think the only universes would be the ones we saw in the marketing material, maybe that's just my expectations being out of wack but I was a little disappointed about that. Same with the Eggman variants, only the Literally 1984 universe had Eggmen? No pirate Eggman? That was a real shame (also they did say "literally" way too much, I don't know how the writers got away with that, same with the word "shard").

Ultimately the show just went nowhere. The pacing was not great and the overarching story just felt like it had no stakes. The "Prime" versions of every character were completely sidelined in favour of characters that shared their appearance and names but had none of their appeal. They honestly could be anyone and it wouldn't really make a difference other than stopping Sonic from preaching about the values of friendship to them in the false assumption that they already know each other.

I understand it's for kids and the messaging needs to be understandable, and I really appreciated the more environmental slant that's been missing from the series for a long time, but I think there is better ways to get your message across through more naturalistic dialogue. The IDW comics do it so so well.

That might be part of my problem, I find it hard not to compare it with the high standard of quality set by the IDW team's writing.

When the next season drops I really hope the pace can be tightened up and the dialogue can get a little better. I also hope that it doesn't have such a nothing ending, I want plotlines to have a proper structure and a satisfying payoff. Watching Sonic Prime felt like a bit of a waste of time, and I just find that a bit sad. Though it has prompted me to wonder how much Sonic X holds up under scrutiny so I may well rewatch that in the near future to see what I was watching as a kid.

If you want an arbitrary number score I'd probably give it like a 5/10, it's pure average. Ultimately inoffensive but has nothing to properly engage you. As a longtime Sonic fan I was hoping for better.

Anyway, read IDW's Sonic the Hedgehog.

[khloeblair]

Prompt: Highlights (part 2) from Seth’s March 30, 1970 session in Seth Speaks.

Each of you are now involved in a much larger production, in which you all agree on certain basic assumptions that serve as a framework within which the play can occur.

The assumptions are that time is a series of moments one after another; that an objective world exists quite independently of your own creation and perception of it; that you are bound within the physical bodies that you have donned; and that you are limited by time and space.

Other assumptions accepted for the same reason include the idea that all perception comes through your physical senses; in other words, that all information comes from without, and that no information can come from within.

You therefore are forced to focus intensely upon the actions of the play. Now these various plays, these creative period pieces represent what you would call reincarnational lives.

They all exist basically at one time. Those who are still involved in these highly complicated passion-play seminars called reincarnational existences, find it difficult to see beyond them.

Some, resting between productions, as it were, try to communicate with those who are still taking part; but they themselves are merely in the wings, so to speak, and can only see so far.

The plays seem to be taking place one before the other, and so these communications seem to intensify the false idea that time is a series of moments, passing in a single line from some inconceivable beginning to some equally inconceivable end.

This leads you to think in terms of a very limited progress, both in individual terms and in terms of your species as a whole.

You think, those of you who have even considered reincarnation, “Well, certainly the race must have progressed from the time of the Middle Ages,” although you greatly fear it has not; or you turn to technological progress and say, “At least we have come a long way in that direction.”

You may smile and think to yourself that it is quite difficult to imagine a Roman senator addressing the multitudes through a microphone, for example; his children, watching his performance on television.

But all of this is highly misleading. Progress does not exist in the terms that you consider it to, any more than time does.

In each play, both individually and en masse, different problems are set up. Progress can be measured in terms of the particular ways in which those problems were solved or not solved.

Great advances have been made in certain periods. For example, great offshoots appeared that from your viewpoint you might not consider progress at all.

In some plays, generally speaking, the actors are each working on a seemingly minute portion of a larger problem that the play itself is to resolve.

Though I use the analogy here of a drama, these “plays” are highly spontaneous affairs in which the actors have full freedom within the play’s framework.

And granting these assumptions that have been stated, there are no rehearsals. There are observers, as you will see later in our book. As in any good theatre production, there is an overall theme within each play.

The great artists, for example, did not emerge out of a particular time simply because they were born into it, or (because) the conditions were favorable.

Notes:

None.

[gabenvrhappened]

MoviesOr... Red, White and Royal Blue

The first time I read about Red, White and Royal Blue, it was described as a soft porn book, like the TV shows Netflix usually makes, so I never really paid attention or wanted to read it. Then, Amazon Prime announced they would be adapting the book, and I got curious because reading is one thing, but seeing those two fine actors doing it, that's what I really wanted. So I watched some teasers, saw that it was going to be Rated R, and waited patiently (not much, as soon as the days were getting close) for August 11th.

What was then my surprise to see that there was nothing soft porn there? Maybe Amazon saw the potential of having a big LGBT+ movie and decided to make it more family-friendly? Who knows… I don't hate the idea, it's good to make it available for more audience, but I surelly kept thinking about what we lost. But that was the only thing that made me disappointed. The rest? Perfection. I didn't think I would enjoy the movie so much like I did. I didn't think it would make me smile all the way through like Heartstopper did days before. And it was fun to see what is usually a teenage theme — loving someone you can't have because they're in the closet — in a mature environment, especially involving politics and royalty.

In this romance story, we met two young politicians from two of the most famous, and controversial, countries in the world. Alex, from the all powerful and omnipresent United States, and Henry from the London weird and unnecessary for today's standards monarchy. The rest? Is history, and I bet they can make some.

The biggest reason the movie works so well is the casting. How sensational are the two lead actors? They're charming, and they work so well together, with their sexual tension and jokes. I already knew Nicholas Galitzine from the Handsome Devil movie (that I'm still not over the fact that it didn't end with a kiss), so I knew he would deliver, but Taylor Perez was a surprise for me. I never paid attention to him on the terrible The Kissing Booth trilogy, which is good. We didn't get soft porn, but we got an ass, and although it wasn't from Nicholas (what a shame), it was from Taylor, so all is forgiven. Another person who steals the movie is Sarah Shahi with her incredible role as the President's Assistant. Her presence is incredible and every single scene that she’s in is fascinating, charming and piercing. And I also liked Rachel Hilson's part, who I met in Love, Victor.

In all its perfection, and in its two hours of fair good pace and development, the only criticism I have for the movie is how things were resolved. Even though the focus was on the love of the two main characters, still, part of the tension was on how their love affair would have consequences, especially around the monarchy. Sadly, none of this was explored in the movie (I'm not sure if it's explored in the book as well, so if it's not, then it has the same flaw). It's impractical to think that people would march in front of Buckingham Palace to celebrate their love so easily, not when the idea of a Royal Family revolves around racist and abusive behaviors. I know it's a piece of fiction, and I know the political rules and games the movie portrays are far simpler than they are in reality, but still, the movie sets the tone of being placed in the world as we know it, so the way all is solved really makes the ending weaker.

Again, this is not that big of a problem, but I wonder if Amazon regrets not turning this into a limited series. Not only could those problems be solved, but they could have also extend the story a bit further and gain more exposure from the fandom. Even so, the highs are much higher than the lows. There are so many amazing scenes, like the falling of the cake, the New Year's party where they're the only ones standing for seconds, the museum dance, and the hug on the stairs when everything is falling apart. I felt like I was inside Taylor's song London Boy, and now I want a Royal Blue heart all to myself. God, how I love the English.

[randomshyperson]

Liberal Arts - Chapter 6 - Wanda Maximoff x Reader

thanks for the gif @abimess

Summary: A new job at New York University should be a fresh start. Things don't go as planned when you fall in love with one of your students. || Request by @ecruzsalaz

Warnings: (18+), explicit language, smut, dom!reader and bottom wanda, heavy angst with happy ending, cursing, secret/forbidden relationship, teasing, romanticism, legal age gap.

Words: 7.115k

A/N: I can't believe it's almost over! By the way, most of you were really focused on the blackmail issue, it wasn't my original idea that was that relevant (it was just one of the factors in their break up), but that will be resolved! I hope you all are satisfied with the ending.

All Works Masterlist || Series Chapters || AO3

--/--

Chapter Six - Pictures of Sports, Runners and Happiness

You were in the middle of an explanation about light and shadow when you started to daydream in the middle of class.

This was becoming more common than you would like to admit.

Maybe it was a stubborn way your brain found to keep Wanda in your thoughts, even though it had been weeks since you last spoke to her.

Your attempt to sink into work and ignore the small promise you made to Nat to keep trying, proved to be very ineffective.

Because Wanda seemed to occupy your head twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

"Professor, you are doing it again." The voice of one of your students brought you out of your mind, and the class let out a few giggles.

"Sorry guys." You muttered quickly. "Where did I stop?"

Fortunately, you were able to finish that class without any further interruptions.

And you were packing up your materials to leave for lunch when one of your students approached you at your desk.

"Hi, professor, how are you?" She asked a little uncertainly. "I know it's none of my business, but you've been acting strange in class. You get that dreamy, silent look on your face every time."

You felt your face heat up. "I'm sorry, Miss Bishop. It's some personal problems, I'll try not to do that anymore."

"No, no I'm not angry!" She quickly clarified half-heartedly. "It's just that you are my favorite teacher and I was wondering if you were sick or something. Not that I was watching you or anything, I'm not one of those stalkers. And I don't mean to be nosy either! I just-"

You cut in with a laugh, shaking your head. "It's okay, Kate. Thank you for worrying. I promise I'm not sick."

"That's a relief." She mumbles with a short laugh. Then she lets out a little exclamation. "I, uh, wanted to ask you something actually."

You raise your eyebrow in confusion.

"It's okay if you don't want to, but um, I kind of need an academic mentor, and well, you're the only teacher who doesn't hate me."

You frowned. "None of the teachers hate you, Miss Bishop."

She shrugged. "Don't worry, I don't care about that. I even give them a reason, after all I have set fire, accidentally of course, in the teachers' lounge once." She comments quickly and you look at her in surprise. "Was that before you came in? Well, anyway, that's all in the past. What I mean is, I'm going to participate in the sports nationals next week, but I just learned that I need at least one subject to put as a reason on the forms. And a mentor."

You heard about that. The vast majority of students choose math or English subjects as their title. You didn't understand exactly how the applications worked, but you knew that the math teacher kept complaining most of the time about the amount of students she was going to have to mentor.

"I understand that this was short notice, but I didn't think I needed it. And it's okay if you have another appointment, I can find-"

"No, Kate, I accept." You interrupt with a smile. "Actually, it's really cool that you thought of me for that."

She lets out a relieved laugh. And you finish putting the books in your backpack, starting to move outside, with her at your side. "Really"

"Of course." You say. "What do I need to do?"

"Just sign my application forms." She clarifies, still flustered by the fact that you had actually accepted the invitation. "And well, accompany me to the competition."

"Sure, no problem." You say. "When is it going to be?"

"Next week, at Kensington."

"How fancy." You joke, making her laugh. "Let's keep in touch about that, Kate. See you next class."

She thanks you one more time before you go your separate ways in the halls.

--//--

You kept Natasha hanging on about Wanda.

She kept bringing it up, trying to get you to make a decision, and you always made up some excuse and changed the subject.

And when Kate's competition came around, it must have been the first time you were leaving the house for anything other than work.

Because it was such a beautiful day, you decided to take your camera.

And of course Kate made a comment about this as soon as you arrived at the hall where the event was taking place.

They set up courts and gyms, but until the event started, you had the entire golf course area to enjoy. And the food was delicious.

"The camera suits you." Kate commented with a smile.

"Same for you and the bow." You return as you notice the equipment she was holding. "How did I never know you practiced that?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "Well, I have no pictures using it."

"This is a great opportunity to change that, then." You joke, and she smiles in agreement.

As a mentor, you had to sign some things, and answer some questions. But at least you got a special badge and stayed in an air-conditioned tent.

There were many sports included in the competition, and you told Kate to feel free to go and talk to her friends and opponents, and that you would get to know the other people.

You really tried.

There were teachers from all over the world, as well as guests from far away countries. You think you saw celebrities, and there were lots of journalists.

You started to feel bored in a short time, though. The event was quite similar to those in galleries.

So you tried to distract yourself with your cell phone, and sent a picture of your bored expression to Natasha.

"Where are you, fancy girl?" she typed shortly after.

You quickly answered the place, and watched the three little dots of typing appear and disappear a few times before Nat finally answered.

"Don't panic, okay? But, I'm pretty sure Pietro is in that competition. And well, that means Wanda is too."

You widened your eyes, and were calling her the next second. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Nat sighed on the other end of the line. "Well, he's a runner, did you forget? This event is pretty big, there are people from all over NYU. Professor T'Challa mentioned he was going to London to mentor Pietro a few weeks ago."

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

"Because every time I try to talk about Wanda you change the subject!" She returns. "Y/N, breathe, okay? You two are living in the same city, and you work for the same company. It's not like you're never going to see her again."

"But I didn't want to do that today, Nat!" You return looking around. "Shit, do you think Kate will notice if I hide in the tent until the event is over?"

Nat laughed on the other end of the line. "I swear to god, you're worse than my students. Bring it on, girlfriend! What's this? You need to handle this like an adult."

"I'd rather go home."

"I bet you would." She jokes. "Look, I need to go. The time zone is horrible and I'm exhausted. Call me tomorrow and tell me how your gay panic ended."

You mumble a curse before Nat hangs up.

Okay, your mission now was to avoid meeting Wanda at this event.

Your chances were high, after all, there must have been over a thousand people in this place.

//-//

You found Wanda in thirteen minutes.

Luckily, she didn't see you.

You, on the other hand, seemed to have seen only her and nothing else.

Stumbling over your own feet, you bumped into a waiter, who knocked over the drinks he was carrying and attracted the attention of half the surrounding guests.

You narrowly escaped the curious stares after muttering many apologies, and hid in the back of the main building.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to put it all together.

The announcement that the competitions were about to begin made you let out a disgruntled grumble.

The Archery Competitions were after the Swimming Competitions, but took place at the same time as the Weightlifting Competitions.

You had a little free time to avoid Wanda before you slipped into the mentoring tent and didn't leave until Kate started.

Then naturally, you bumped into Pietro on the way back.

"Y/N? Wow, how incredible to see you here!" He greeted with wide eyes.

You giggled awkwardly. "Yeah, incredible."

"We haven't spoken in so long, how are you?"

"Good, I think. And you?"

"Nervous as hell." He returned with a laugh. "I'm going to compete in a few minutes, I was just going to the locker room. I didn't know you were into sports."

"Not really." You say. "I'm here for work."

He looks at the camera in your neck, and you shake your head quickly. "Not photography. I'm mentoring one of the archery participants."

"Oh, I get it." He says. "Well, Professor T'Challa is around if you want to revisit your old co-workers." He jokes and then makes almost a grimace. "And there's someone else around too, outside, I think."

You swallow dryly, and look down at your feet. "Yeah, I... I don't think it's a good idea for me to talk to your sister right now."

He frowns, but the speaker announces the first call for participants, and he sighs. "Look I have to go. But, I think you should give it a try. Wanda is less tough than she looks, Y/N. And I'm sure she misses you."

"Thanks, Pietro." You mumble.

He smiles. "Anytime."

As he leaves, you turn toward the golf course.

But you hesitate at the second step, and make your way to the mentors' tent.

//-//

The Mentors tent was one of the biggest, and it had a good view of the other competition areas because it was on top of a small hill.

You could see where the Archery event was going to take place, and if you walked around a bit, you also had a good view of the makeshift tracks that were set up for the racers.

When Kate's trial started, you took amazing pictures.

It was strange shooting outdoors and in the sun, because it was nothing like your style of photography, but the result satisfied you anyway.

The most remarkable thing was Kate winning.

You took pictures of the gold medal, the trophies, and the smiling figure. And gave her an encouraging look when one of the Olympics judges came to talk to her.

The running competition started shortly afterwards, and you stepped away from the tent area to watch.

Using your camera to get a clear view, you smiled as you spotted Pietro running.

You also managed to photograph the moment he crossed the finish line, and hoped that you would be able to give the picture to him as he left the event.

And then you remembered Wanda.

Moving the lens, it didn't take long to find her in the crowd of people watching. Your breath caught. She looked so beautiful in her flowered dress.

You were so distracted that you almost dropped the camera when Kate came up beside you.

"Are you a race fan, Miss L/N?" She asked curiously. You laughed awkwardly.

"No, I'm not into any sports." You muttered. "But the pictures of the kids running look nice."

Kate murmured in agreement, and you quickly moved to show her the pictures you had taken of her competition.

"They look beautiful." She commented while holding the camera in her hands. You stood with your hands in your pockets, looking at the landscape, waiting for her to finish. "Is this your girlfriend?"

You gasped in surprise and turned your head to Kate. "What?"

She handed over the camera, it had gone back to the beginning of the gallery, a picture of Wanda, from last year. You felt your face heat up, and quickly took the camera back, hugging it against your chest. "I-I..."

"I didn't mean to be nosy, Professor." Kate spoke immediately. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

You shook your head, looking at the running test again, and Kate put it all together.

"She's here, isn't she?" she asked and you sighed, nodding. "Is this why you get so distracted in class?"

You massage your forehead. "Kate, don't worry about it okay?"

"I think you should talk to her." She insisted with a smile. "She looked happy in the photo. If you're not together anymore, at least say hi in respect to how you both used to feel when that picture was taken."

You bit the inside of your cheek, and then smiled at your student. "Since when did you become so wise, Miss Bishop?"

She laughed, shrugging her shoulders. "I've always been brilliant, thank you."

You laughed too, shaking your head.

A group of young men called out to Kate and she nodded. "I have to join the others now. And we'll celebrate after here. If you'd like to come, that would be incredible."

"Thanks, Kate, but I think I'll decline. I still have some things to do. But congratulations again."

She smiled and left after that.

You took a deep breath divided between what to do next. Taking one last look at the picture in your camera, you could only remember Wanda's words on the roof.

You couldn't push away the guilt that you took the smile from that girl in the photograph and replaced it with the tears she shed.

So you turned your feet and walked towards the exit.

//-//

Valky heard that you were at that event through a magazine.

It was Sunday, and you were making lemonade when she called you.

"And I thought we were friends. Please tell me you have some new pictures for me."

You laughed at her falsely hurt tone when she mentioned that she hoped that if you went to a public event, you would at least briefly mention it to your boss.

"I have a few things, but it was nothing planned, so I don't know if you'll be able to use it." You tell her.

"Your exhibition is coming up, it's your last chance to add something besides that one picture."

You bite your lips. What is this insistent last chance thing the universe seems to be bringing it up to you.

"Take a look at the pictures, Valky. If you like them, you have my permission to display it. But it was you who said that one photograph is enough."

"And I keep my word because that picture is flawless." She returns with a laugh. "But as I told you before, dear, so is all your work. Send me the photos, and I'll make a decision."

You sent the event photos as soon as you got back to your room, but Valky refused to give you an answer.

"Surprise will do you good." It was the only thing she said.

Agatha came back from the grocery store with purchases and you forgot about it for the time being.

--//--

Your exposure was indeed in short order.

Two weeks after that, you were checking your party suit in front of a mirror.

Agatha appeared at your bedroom door to let you know that the chauffeur of the limousine that Valky insisted you take, had already arrived.

"Should I have chosen a dress?" You ask unsurely, making Agatha smile.

"You look amazing, dear." She says approaching you to straighten your tie. As she does so she has an almost nostalgic expression. "Your mother would be so proud."

It is your turn to smile. "Her first exhibition was in Asgard too, wasn't it?"

Agatha nods in agreement. "That's where she met your father."

You murmured in understanding, and Agatha finished her tie, but held your shoulders. "I know you and him didn't get along, but he loved you in the way he could. And he would be proud, too."

"Sometimes love isn't enough, Agatha." You return. "Actions count more than what we say we feel, don't you think?"

She smiles, and strokes your cheek. "You are so grown up, Y/N. I hope you believe your words, and do something about your relationship with the woman you love."

You let out a short laugh. "Good move, Miss Harkness."

She walks you to the car, and you comment on how the choice of purple dress was perfect for her.

Agatha laughs embarrassedly when you say that she might end up meeting someone interesting at the party.

On the way to the gallery, Natasha sent several messages of encouragement, and said she missed you.

You sent her a picture of you and Agatha in party clothes and she typed that you looked like movie stars.

The gallery was very crowded.

Valky really made it big.

Journalists, special guests, and the biggest names in photography were there.

She liked to call it your return to the world of photography, even though technically you had never left.

But you think she believed that just because you were teaching now, that it was a kind of retirement.

"I'm going to start drinking before people start asking how old I am." Agatha warned as soon as you guys got out of the car, making you laugh. "See you around, honey."

She waved goodbye, and you noticed a few guests looking at her on the way to the bar. Agatha was in for a long night.

You made your way inside, politely greeting a few people and journalists, until you finally found Loki and Thor in the crowd.

"You look stunning, Y/N." Loki commented charmingly, moving closer to kiss your cheek. You just giggled awkwardly, complimenting the brothers.

Noticing that they were alone, you quickly asked about the dates you saw last time. Thor looked upset.

"Jane and I took a break." He recounted. "I think I rushed things too much."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Thor." You spoke, but he forced a laugh.

"Don't worry, I can fix it." He assures. "When I get back to the States, I'll ask her out again."

You nodded in understanding. "And Mobius?"

Loki took a long sip of champagne. "He's in Alaska."

You frowned in surprise, but Loki quickly clarified with a laugh. "We're not in a fight or anything. But he loves to ski, and there's some kind of competition going on right now. I said I wanted to be here to support a friend with her photography, and he went without me."

"And Loki is pretending he's not hurt." Thor sneered, and his brother grimaced.

"I'm not hurt!" He denied stubbornly. "We can stay apart."

The blond just laughed, sipping from his cup. You watched the interaction with amusement.

The exhibition started only when the gallery was considerably full, and most of the guests had a glass of champagne in hand.

Valky found you in the crowd, and led you to the center of the room where the first picture was displayed.

There was a curtain covering all the photos she chose to display, and you would pull the first one for the rest of the team to pull the others, starting the exhibit.

Everything was fine until you met Wanda's eyes across the room.

"Would you kill me if I changed my mind?" You whispered in Valky's ear, making her laugh.

"In front of three hundred reporters? Without any hesitation." She returns, but seeing your paleness, she squeezes your forearm gently. "Breathe, okay? The work is incredible. You just need to pull the curtain off and smile. And when they compliment you, say thank you."

You just nod, and Valky moves to announce the exhibition.

Y/N L/N's return to the world of photography is part of her speech.

You want to run away. Wanda is right there, a few rows away, wearing a gold dress and looking so beautiful you almost forget to breathe.

"Y/N?" Valky calls out, and for what seems like the second or third time. You blink out of your daydream, but the audience seems to think it's funny.

Swallowing dryly, you touch the handle of the curtain before announcing to the hall. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My first photograph was taken last fall."

You take a deep breath, and pull back the curtain.

Barely absorbing the loud round of applause and impressed sighs, you look down from the camera flashes.

The other curtains fall, and you see a photo of Pietro running, an honorable mention photo of your father, and one of your mother before you excuse Valky and leave the room.

As you walk out onto the terrace, Wanda freezes.

A couple greets her. "What was it like working with the incredible, Y/N L/N?

And there are journalists appearing next, and the flashes make her jump in fright.

Valky is stepping into the crowd and pulling her to the center in the next moment: "I wanted it to be a surprise, but you and Y/N are terrible with journalists I see." She whispers quickly into the girl's ear. "Just smile and wave."

But Wanda could barely react.

People continued to comment on the pictures, praising both the photographer and the model, and Valky tried to guide the whole thing.

"Please feel free to look at the next works, the buffet will be served in ten minutes." She announced at last, and Wanda could relax with the flashes dismissed.

Valky turned to her with concern, "I'm sorry, Wanda, I didn't know this would be your reaction to the photo. I thought you would be happy-"

"When did she give it to you?"

"A few months ago, I think. Why?"

"She didn't..." Wanda started and took a deep breath, trying to clear her head. "I never saw that picture before. She didn't tell me she was going to be exhibiting a picture of me, I didn't-"

"Hey, she asked me to keep it a secret." Valky spoke up, her hands on Wanda's shoulders trying to calm her down. "She almost didn't want to display it, she said it was the most special photo she had. It was when she showed it to me that I asked for your phone number, and said I'd love to work with you."

Wanda frowned in confusion. "So she didn't recommend me?"

Valky gave a chuckle. "Well, yes and no? I was interested in you when I saw the photo, all Y/N did was give the number I asked for and the link to your portfolio. The rest was all your talent."

Wanda sighed. "Do you know when she took that picture?"

Valky shook her head, and Wanda ran her hand over her face. "Look, I don't know what happened between you two, so I won't pry. But I think, something so beautiful, should be shown to the world. But I understand if you want to take it down..."

"No, Valky, that's not it!" Cuts the other girl off. "I was just surprised. It's her work, she can exhibit it if she wants to."

"Well, it's still your face." Valky returns. "And what a beautiful face you have dear."

Wanda shakes her head in embarrassment, and Valky comments something about her getting modeling jobs if she wanted, but Wanda is barely listening.

"I should try to quiet the gossip about Y/N running off in the middle of the event, so excuse me." That was the last thing the older woman said before leaving the other one alone.

There were a few people around, trying to get a better look at the main photo, and Wanda stepped back a little to allow that.

She stood there, trying to understand exactly what had happened.

The couple in front of her moved away, and she got a clear view of the photo again, and swallowed dryly.

She has no idea when it was taken, but she recognizes the university. It's just her, caught in the middle of a laugh. She thinks you probably took it from your apartment window because it looked like the front garden where she insisted on studying because she liked being close to you.

It's the perfect shot of the moment she giggles. The exact second her eyes light up with joy.

It is perfect not because it is her face, but because she looks happy.

Looking at the title, she chokes softly. In Sokovian, the name was described "Moya dorogaya: Prichina moyego schast'ya (My darling: The reason for my happiness).

Wanda felt her eyes fill with tears. She looked one last time at the picture before walking away, intent on finding you.

--//--

"Of course you exhibited a picture of me without warning me and just ran away."

That was the first thing Wanda said upon finding you on the terrace, and you jumped out of your seat in fright, mentally rehearsing your apology.

Angry was the last thing she was, but from the way she approached you, you figured she was furious.

"I know, I'm sorry, I should have asked." You started off clumsily.

"When did you take it?" Wanda interrupted your apology, looking at you intently.

You scratched the back of your neck absently. "Promise not to think I'm weird?"

"No."

You wanted to laugh, but just replied, "The day after we went out for the first time. I know I shouldn't, but I went out to get some air on the porch, and you were outside with your friends, and I thought it wouldn't do any harm." You tell and think it best to finish before you lose your nerve. "I just thought you looked as beautiful as the day I first saw you, and I promise that was the only one I took. I didn't mean to be a stalker or anything! I took it and ended up forgetting about it, and then we happened and that was the only picture I had, except it turned out to mean something completely different and-"

"What did it mean?"

You let out an incredulous sigh. "What do you think?"

But Wanda doesn't hesitate. "I want to hear you say it."

You took a deep breath. “It's about what you make me feel, Wanda. From the moment I laid eyes on you, it was like having light in my life again. That's why photography is so sunny, unlike anything I took before. It's about the happiness that I feel by your side."

Wanda swallows dryly, looking hesitantly at the floor. You think she is trying not to cry.

"You can't say what you want to say to me, can you?" She tries unsurely, and you let out an emotional laugh.

"I can, actually." You speak, taking a step toward her. "I love you, Wanda."

She raises her eyes with reddened cheeks, and you smile, shrugging.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to say it, even though I've felt it for so long." You say, and she shakes her head softly.

"Perfect timing." She murmurs, and then smiles at you, before moving closer and entwining her arms around your neck.

You hug her around the waist, and relax as you feel her sink her face into your neck, inhaling deeply.

"Please don't hurt me again." She whispers. You hug her tighter. "I won't survive."

"I promise I won't." You speak and find it best to look into her eyes, so you break the embrace to place your hands on her cheeks. "I promise I will make you as happy as you make me."

Her eyes sparkle from tears, and you smile at her. Wanda raises her hands to yours on her cheek.

"I'd like to go on a date with you." She says, and you let out a relieved laugh.

"Yeah, I'd like that too sweetheart."

Wanda smiles and moves closer to kiss your cheek.

As she pulls away, she removes your hands from her face, but keeps one of them entwined in hers.

She gives you a complacent look, and you really don't mind running away from the party to go out with her.

//--//

You end up in a small bakery.

It's much better than the last date, especially since you don't let go of Wanda's hand, and she smiles at you in a way that makes your heart beat fast.

You talk about everything and nothing.

And when you are sharing a sweet muffin, she comments:

"Why didn't you talk to me at the sporting event?"

You let out a clumsy laugh, stroking her hand on the table with your thumb. "Because I was in a panic."

"To speak to me?" She asked, confused and amused.

You shrugged clumsily. "I was embarrassed, I guess. I didn't think you wanted to talk to me anymore."

She shakes her head and places her free hand over yours.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you that day." She begins. "I wanted to hurt you.It was childish, I should have said I didn't want you to go anywhere."

You sigh. "No, Wanda, I deserved it. You had to get that off your chest. And now, we can move on."

"About that, I think we should take it slow." She comments and you nod in understanding. "It's just, we started so fast and burned out too. I don't want to go through that again."

"I agree, darling." You say and smile as you intertwine your hand in hers. "This time, we will make it work. I'll love you the right way."

She bites back a smile with flushed cheeks. She leans on the table with a mischievous look. "But it doesn't have to be so slow."

"Oh, really?" You return in the same tone, your eyes falling to her lips. "How slow are we going to move?"

"Kissing is allowed." She says looking between your mouth and your eyes. " Holding hands, cuddling."

You smiled mischievously, and moved closer. Wanda thought you were going to kiss her and closed her eyes, holding her breath in anticipation. But you diverted your mouth to her cheek. You kissed her skin and she sighed. You didn't pull away, whispering in her ear, "Is making you cum on my fingers off limits, then?"

She choked softly. "Behave." She warned breathlessly, and you pulled away with a low chuckle.

"I missed you, Wanda." You declare after a moment, as she normalizes her breathing and you rest your chin on your hand, watching her adoringly. "I missed us."

"Me too, you have no idea." She returned shyly. "Damn, I can't believe this is actually happening."

You smiled at the unexpected confession. "Are you happy?"

She nods quickly, and you think that's enough.

You spend the afternoon at the bakery, and it's the best you've felt in a long time.

Valky texts about the two of you disappearing and her having to deal with all the press by herself, but your cell phone is on silent.

It's late, and most establishments have closed by the time you two call it a night.

"Can I take you home?" You asked as you circled her waist while you both spun smoothly on the sidewalk, and Wanda threw her arms around your neck, making a thoughtful expression.

"It depends." She says, and you make a noise with your mouth. "Will you behave?"

"I always behave."

She laughs softly, and you kiss her cheek, once, twice, until she sighs and agrees.

You take a cab, and you are doing your best to behave as Wanda has asked, but it is very difficult when she keeps looking so beautiful just existing.

She is in the middle of a sentence when you kiss her on the mouth, unable to control your own impulse. She gasps, and kisses you back.

But you pull away the next moment, with a hoarse laugh. "I'm sorry, it's not polite to interrupt."

Wanda just stares at you with her eyes darkened, and her breathing out of rhythm. "Stop apologizing and kiss me again."

You smiled and obeyed. There are no words to describe how much you missed the feeling.

Her lips were soft and hungry against yours. And things were definitely getting too heated for the back seat of a cab, so you slowed the pace of the kiss, and let out a chuckle at Wanda's disgruntled grumble as you pulled away.

"Darling, we're not alone." You reminded her quietly.

"That never stopped you before." She returned in a husky voice, and you raised an eyebrow.

"What happened to behaving? Or taking it slow?" You teased, your hand against her thigh and your breath against her lips.

She sighed loudly, and sank her face into your neck, trying to calm herself. "Fuck, you're right."

She kissed your skin softly, and you squeezed her thigh, making her gasp. "Wanda?"

"Okay, okay, we can do this." She spoke as she pulled her face away from your neck. "But you need to stop kissing me like that."

You bit back a smile. "And how am I supposed to kiss you?"

"I have no idea." She confesses breathlessly.

The cab arrives at your destination the next moment, and you pay the embarrassed driver because Wanda can't even look at him from awkwardness.

"One glass of wine, and you're off." Wanda warns as she works with the keys.

"Yes, ma'am."

You don't even get to open the wine.

When you enter the apartment, you make a comment about her getting a really nice place. And she closes the door, leaves her purse on the floor, and takes off her shoes.

She walks to the kitchen, to get the glasses and wine, and you're unable to look away, watching the curve of the dress on her perfect ass and the way the hem rises a little when she leans over to get the glasses.

She was explaining about how she got this place with Valky's help, and that she was doing fine without her father's help because of the Asgard contract, when you can't stop looking at her mouth.

And Wanda realizes that, because she is losing track of the conversation quickly, until all that comes out of her mouth is a small sigh.

You bite back a smile."We're totally going to have sex now, aren't we?"

She just nods and you are already stepping closer, kissing her with passion as your hands hold her face.

Wanda melts against you, responding with the same intensity.

It's messy and passionate, and you gasp against each other's mouths, until your hands are reaching down and squeezing her ass, making her sigh. You grab her to place her on the kitchen counter, and the kisses don't get any more innocent.

Wanda entwines her legs around your waist, not parting your mouths, her tongue slowly and sensually moving against yours. Your hands go up the inside of her dress, scratching her thighs, and she does the same with the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling gently to gain more control of the kiss.

As you move up along her inner thigh, she pulls on your hair softly, breaking the kiss as she bites your lip and tugs, making you moan lowly.

"Bedroom." She asks in a husky voice, and you pull your hands away to grasp her waist and lead her through the apartment.

Wanda struggles to guide the way with you kissing her neck, and you end up in breathless kisses many times in the hallway until you finally reach the bedroom.

You lay her down on the bed, falling on top of her, and Wanda squirms under you, sighing with her eyes closed at the feel of your lips on her neck.

You tease the skin, kissing and sucking and applying pressure that will mark her, and Wanda does nothing but sigh deeply, pushing her hips against you.

Your hands come down, working on her dress. You can barely contain yourself, pulling the fabric hard and revealing her breasts.

Wanda chokes as you envelop her nipple in your mouth, the other in your hand, teasing the hardened tips with your fingers and tongue.

"You're wearing too many clothes." She complains, and she is right. You haven't even taken your suit jacket off.

And pulling away with a soft grumble to take it off, she takes the opportunity to look at you.

"Enjoying the show, darling?" You tease working on the buttons. Wanda doesn't answer, lifting her body to kiss you again, and you laugh softly at her impatience.

With your shirt half open, you kiss again with the intensity as your thigh fits between her legs.

Wanda flinches, choking in mid-kiss as she tries to increase the friction by pressing her hips against your thigh. You smile into her mouth, using one hand to lift her thigh and increase your reach, while your other hand wraps around her breast again.

"Baby, you're dripping against my jeans." You tease as you feel the wetness on your thigh. Wanda whimpers, forcing her hips in an unclenched rhythm.

"Just touch me at once please." She asks between kisses, and you move the hand that held her leg open against you up the inside of her thigh.

The material of her panties is ruined, but you tease her clit over the cloth, and she squirms with pleasure, her nails sinking into your lower back.

"Stop teasing me." She begs breathlessly, and you thrust superficially into her, smiling the way she chokes on a moan. "Please."

You kiss her softly, and Wanda sighs. Before she can even prepare, you move the fabric of her panties aside and you sink two fingers against her hot center.

You both moan at the contact. Wanda is so tight, warm, and wet against your fingers. You slip inside without difficulty. She digs her nails into your back, and you wait for her to get used to the sensation before moving.

It doesn't take long before she does, kissing you again as she moves her hips, urging you to continue.

You smile against her lips, removing your fingers only to sink them again, beginning to thrust them in a torturously slow and deep rhythm inside her.

Wanda becomes a mess of moans and whimpers within seconds. "God, I need..." She starts between one gasping moan and another. "Faster darling."

You shake your head gently, watching her with adoration. "No, baby. Didn't you want us to take it slow? I'm taking it slow."

"Fuck." She whimpered, trying to force her hips against your fingers. But you let out a hoarse laugh, holding her waist in place.

"Behave." You warned, pressing her clit with your thumb. Wanda threw her head back, moaning loudly. "You're doing so good, baby. Making a mess on my fingers."

You could feel the way she was tightening against you, her pussy clenching into nothingness every time you took your fingers out. The slow rhythm made Wanda squirm, whimpering for her release. You kissed her mouth again, sliding your tongue against her at the same speed as you thrust inside her.

It was enough for her to start to spasm. You bit her lower lip, and decided to speed up your thrusts, and Wanda moaned loudly against your mouth, unable to match any kiss.

She climaxed the next moment, arching her back with your name coming out in a muffled scream.

You almost cum just with only the image.

As she calmed down, you removed your fingers, and brought them to your mouth. Groaning softly as you tasted her on your tongue, Wanda watched you with darkened eyes.

When you made mention of going down her body, however, she grabbed your forearm.

You were about to ask what's wrong, but she kissed you with intensity, and spun you on the bed gently until she was on top.

"Let me make you feel good." She asked as she moved her lips away from yours to kiss your cheek, and then your neck.

Her quick fingers worked with the last buttons of your shirt as she kissed her way down your exposed chest.

You bit your lips, watching her curiously, but Wanda just kissed your breasts over your bra before continuing all the way where you needed her the most.

She kissed your stomach before pulling away to unbuckle your belt.

You wriggled impatiently beneath her, watching her smile.

"Don't tease." You warn, and she bites back a grin as she pulls your pants and underwear out.

With you finally exposed to her, Wanda gasps, kissing your thighs slowly.

You let out a groan, and bring your hands to her hair, gripping it a little tightly.

"Wanda." You warn, and she gasps with her eyes ajar, glowing with mischief. Her smile is sinful.

"Is not fun when it's with you, baby?" she teases and you clench your jaw, tugging at her hair slightly causing her to choke and clench her thighs together as she rests her hands on your thighs.

"Stop teasing. Last warning."

She nods and without breaking eye contact finally leans her face against you, and licks your pussy gently.

You gasp, the grip on her hair losing its strength for a second. Wanda repeats the motion, and you have to fight not to roll your eyes in pleasure.

"Go on." You guide with a husky voice, watching her. Her cheeks are red, but she licks you shamelessly. Tasting you, and sucking you like it's her last meal. "Damn, baby, what a talented mouth."

Wanda murmurs against your pussy, sliding her tongue into your folds, and you close your eyes, squirming against her.

"Fuck, that feels so good." You gasp with your eyes closed, feeling her work her tongue against your clit. "Don't stop baby."

She doesn't stop. Not even after you start trembling under her, and cum on her tongue with a throaty moan.

You have to pull the hair gently to Wanda to pull away from your pussy with an affected sigh.

"Come here." You ask and she climbs up quickly, landing her legs on each side of your hips as she brings your face closer to hers.

You moan softly as you taste yourself on her tongue, and Wanda is ready for another, rubbing her hips against yours.

"Naughty." You remark as you realize her intentions, holding her waist to control her movements, and drawing a soft gasp from her.

"Tired yet?" She tasted, making you chuckle. Your hands began to move her hips against you, controlling the speed, and Wanda squirms with a deep sigh, dripping against your belly.

"Baby I haven't even started." You tell her. It's your only warning for the long night you're going to have.

--//--

[chosonore]

part three | epiphany

epiphany [noun. a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand, or suddenly become conscious of, something that is very important to you ]

pairing: kamo noritoshi/f!reader

summary: your relationship with noritoshi was like a game of cat and mouse; no matter how hard you tried to escape from him, he would always find his way back to you.  

wordcount: 9.1k

content/warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, language, angst, smut!!!!, dom!noritoshi, noritoshi is mean, oral sex, fingering, begging, edging, biting? (he gives u a bite like once), dry humping, riding, lowercase intended [UNEDITED]

a/n: i... will not comment on this. lmfao i can’t believe i wrote all of this filth. please have mercy on me, this is the first time i’ve every written smut and i’m not really good at it fhuewhiu (⁄ ⁄���⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) i think this is the angstiest chapter by far but i promise, no more from the next chapter on! i hope you enjoy (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ will also add the series playlist to the masterpost so check it out if you wanna!

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noritoshi watched as you angrily stormed out of the room, slamming the door forcefully. he leaned back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. now you've gone and done it. the words came out harsh and hurtful, force of habit deeply engraved into his brain. never was it his intention to hurt you so deeply, to push you away. but it was the only way to protect you from his family. noritoshi was well aware that he was a mere pawn in the stupid game that the clans were playing. he was the golden child, only accepted into the family because of his cursed technique. the cruelty he experienced was something he would never forget. he seeked revenge, for his mother and himself. but this was his own problem to handle, not wanting to drag his mother or you into this mess. 

for years, noritoshi had suffered quietly, his only motivation being the protection of his mother and you. rarely did he ever show any emotion, nor did he know many to begin with - but he knew he loved you. his suppressed adoration brought out ugly facettes of his personality: jealousy, frustration, anger. if his family ever caught wind of how much he loved and cherished you, it'd be the end for the both of you. he didn't doubt that they'd already arranged a partner for him to marry. noritoshi hated how they held onto traditions that had no place in this time any more. how they still engaged in these petty clan fights when now it was most crucial to stick together. he swore to himself, as soon as he would become clan head, everything was going to change. but until then, he had to get through this.

how much longer he could deal with this, he wasn't sure. it did bother him that you got so much attention from everyone else; it irked him even more to see that you flirted back sometimes, completely unaware of the effect you had on them. his heart yearned to be yours. as much as he didn't want to be selfish, he couldn't help but indulge. noritoshi still felt your lips on his, your smooth skin, how pliable you were in his arms and how you gave in, into him. was it unfair of him? he supposed so. if he ever got the chance to explain the entire issue to you, he would have to beg for your forgiveness, undoubtedly.

summer rolled around faster than you’d anticipated - it meant that you could finally get some room to breathe and just do nothing for a while. the third years had graduated a week prior, making you feel a little sad and wistful. you’d miss todo a lot now that he left the school but made him promise that he would drop by whenever possible. noritoshi however- you hadn’t spoken a word to him ever since that incident. it was frosty between the two of you, even the teachers had noticed and tried to not let you close to each other. while you hadn’t thought about him in a while, sometimes the thoughts were creeping up on you. some type of closure would have left you feel more at ease but having talked to your mum about the issue, it helped you move on. regardless of how he had made you feel, you would live your life for yourself now.

summer break was long and you didn’t have anything in particular planned - the two main events were your summer vacation with miwa as well as your training camp at tokyo tech. the spring tournament also had its good sides, you guessed, you were able to ask shoko and gojo to teach you over the summer. having witnessed shoko’s healing abilities first hand, you were hellbent to become as good as her. never again would you feel anxious and useless about your skills, you would become an excellent on field healer. you were looking forward to spending time with everyone there as well, especially since yuta was coming home for the summer break. you couldn’t shake the little crush you had on him, it creeped up on you whenever you talked on the phone or texted each other. subconsciously, you hoped that something would bloom out of it but hope was a fickle thing that could quickly turn into misery.

before you left for tokyo, you decided to visit your parents at the kamo estate, hoping that you wouldn’t run into noritoshi on your way there. as far as you knew, he was busy on missions, rarely ever coming home. you greeted the guard at the front entrance, making your way to your family’s little house near the outskirts of the estate. despite the uncomfortable atmosphere that was surrounding the entire estate, you still couldn’t help but fall in love with the gardens and sculptures over and over again. you couldn’t lie, growing up here was wonderful. deciding to make a little detour to the koi pond, you skipped towards the arch bridge. below you, the fish were happily swimming around, glimmering in all kinds of colours. you peered at them, leaning against the railing. as a child, you always liked to dip your feet into the water on hot summer days, promptly earning a disapproving glare from your mum. you always ignored her though, claiming that she couldn’t stop you from getting some kind of refreshment.

as you watched the koi and took in your surroundings, footsteps made you halt in your musings. one of the kamo elders must have gone on a stroll around the gardens; you whirled around to greet the person. your throat grew dry and constricted when you saw noritoshi walking towards you, looking so casual and carefree in his loosely tied yukata. should you greet him? after all, this place was his in some way. but your friendship (could you even call it friendship?) ended on a bad note, did you really owe it to him? neither of you made a sound until he stood next to you, leaning against the railing. you tried your best not to look at him and focused on the pond below you, staring so intensely that you thought you might have lasered some holes in the surface beneath you.

how much longer would you stand here? could you just leave? but then, wouldn’t it be even more awkward? not that you cared anyways. you hadn’t talked to each other in months. as you pushed away from the railing, noritoshi cleared his voice and turned his body towards you. 

“y/n.”

you froze in your steps, looking at him like a deer in headlights. behind you, the wind was rustling up the leaves, adding to the tense and awkward atmosphere. you tried not to scream at him in frustration - it would only end up in yet another fight. yet, noritoshi looked strangely vulnerable in this state, seemingly not knowing what to say to you either. it appeared he simply spoke to you without considering how to further the conversation. he looked like he wanted to reach out to you but simply didn’t know how. you couldn’t fall for this - it had happened before.

“how have you been? i heard you’re going to tokyo tech for training,” he started after a moment of hesitation and gave you a wry smile. huh? you were confused. why was he asking you about this now? it was because of megumi and yuta, wasn’t it.

“it’s… it’s none of your business,” you said with a strained voice. even though you felt uncomfortable with his presence around you, you couldn’t take a step away from him. perhaps you were hoping for an explanation from his side. perhaps you were just relieved to see he was okay, after all the missions he’d already been sent on. “i don’t see how i owe you an answer after… everything that happened between us.”

noritoshi stayed silent, balling up his fists. “you’re right. i’m sorry,” he mumbled, hiding his hands in the sleeves of his yukata embarrassed. “i… i want to explain myself. at least as much as i can tell you and if you’re okay with it. can we move it somewhere more private? i don’t want any of the elders seeing us.”

you hesitated. on one hand, noritoshi sounded sincere but your history spoke for itself. and yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. like a moth to flames, you were always drawn to him. like the center of your universe, everything revolved around him. curiosity got the better of you, nodding before you could stop yourself. noritoshi let out a sigh in relief, stepping towards a more secluded area on the estate, one that you were very familiar with. as children, you used to spend time there a lot, hidden from your parents eyes and without any care in the world. the little corner was surrounded by tall cherry trees, adorned with smaller bushes and a little bench underneath the tree crowns. as noritoshi made his way there, he glanced behind him, making sure that you wouldn’t just leave him and vanish. true to your word, however, you trudged behind him and kept your distance. not once did you look him in the eyes, avoiding his gaze altogether. you were afraid it would make you weak in your resolve, walls crumbling and falling apart like paper mâché.

arriving at the bench, the two of you sat far apart, mirroring the distance between your hearts. you reminisced the old times, the memories making you queasy. whenever you spent time here as children, you would sit close to each other and read books together or just told each other stories. all that’s left was bitterness, heavy and suffocating on your tongue. “what is it that you wanted to tell me?” you questioned him, folding your hands on your lap. you were clenching your hands hard to keep them from trembling, not wanting to show him any weakness.

noritoshi was questioning his own resolve - he shouldn’t tell you anything, should’ve stayed away from you. the yearning was too strong; it was one of the few times he would ever get to see you again before being sent to yet another mission. noritoshi wanted to be selfish, to savour your presence until he was satisfied. maybe you would understand, at least a little bit. he didn’t expect you to forgive him, nor did he think you would let him crawl back into your space. but being close to you was enough.

“i know no amount of apologizing is going to make this better or even take the pain you’ve felt from my treatment but i want you to know that i’m really sorry. you didn’t deserve that whatsoever. i can’t tell you the exact reason why but- but i don’t want to leave you in the unknown any longer,” noritoshi recited his reasons so fast that you almost weren’t able to follow. with each word, your confusion visibly grew. but instead of feeling anger, as you should have, your heart grew heavier with disappointment. his confession was somewhat of closure but not quite. why couldn’t he tell you the reason? was it really so important? important enough to hurt you? you couldn’t understand and you didn’t want to.

“i don’t understand. why can’t you tell me? in case you didn’t realize yourself, this entire thing makes no sense. i don’t understand why you suddenly started hating me. we were close friends, we grew up together. are you telling me you never felt that way? that you weren’t and still aren’t able to trust me with this… reason? and why would you dump this onto me now? i would’ve been content not knowing anything at all,” you vented frustrated, sending him a glare. noritoshi was taken back by your outburst, gnawing at his bottom lip as he looked at you guiltily.

“i… fuck, i don’t know how to explain this without giving away too much, okay? i know it’s stupid but it’s complicated and i don’t want to drag you into this. i trust you, more than i trust anyone but this wasn’t… it wasn’t because i didn’t trust you,” noritoshi took a deep breath. “my entire goal was to protect you by keeping you away from me. and yeah, that was the only way.”

“but why-”

“now that i’ve left school, i’ll most likely be traveling a lot… i won’t be able to see you, let alone keep my eyes on you to make sure you’re okay. i just wanted to be fucking selfish for once, just needed to see you again. you don’t want to see me, i get it. i’ve been nothing but cruel to you and i don't expect you to ever forgive me. but i promise i'll make it up to you."

"noritoshi," you clenched your jaw, brows furrowed as you leaned over, jabbing your finger at his chest. "i don't want to play this game of cat and mouse with you. let's just stay away from each other, okay? nothing good comes out of it anyways. either you want me by your side or you don't, easy as that. you don't get to decide when to get back into my life just because you feel like it."

you just couldn't show him how hurt you were. whatever opening you would reveal, noritoshi would use it against you. he had always been and will always remain your weak point. you made peace with the fact that he was your first love but would probably not be your last. a dam broke inside you as you felt the warmth of his chest, memories flooding your senses. that day was long forgotten, exiled out of your memories until now. there was never a moment that allowed you to reflect on it. you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it and his confession had confirmed the suspicions. noritoshi wasn't the type to engage with people he strongly disliked, much less be intimate with them. there was more to it that he simply refused to disclose to you. you had to put an end to this endless circle - a clean cut until the two of you were ready to face each other again.

taking a deep breath, you withdrew your hand and clutched it to your chest. "this isn't going to work out the way it is. you keep pulling and pushing, without giving me an explanation and- and i'm tired of it. i'm tired of getting hurt. i used to like you a lot, i had a crush on you-"

"you what?" noritoshi visibly paled, unnoticeably inching closer to you. he never realized.

"-and i kept hoping that one day you would return the feelings. i'm a fool, for thinking we could ever get anywhere," you smiled bitterly, slowly getting up from the bench. "let's go back to being enemies, okay? pretend this never happened. it's obvious we need to grow as people, independently from each other. maybe it's good that we'll go separate ways… if fate wants it, we'll find back to each other. and hopefully by then, you'll have a good explanation."

conflicted, you didn’t take another step, staring down at him. he looked small and meek as he sat there with his usually broad frame hunched over and kept his eyes on the grass below him, fiddling with his fingers. as if sensing your gaze on him, noritoshi tilted his head to look at you. his mind was elsewhere, far far away. he didn't realize he was staring at you with blank eyes until you came closer and leaned down concerned. you were so close to him, he could almost feel your breath fanning across his skin. you liked him. noritoshi fucked up, majorly, and he felt like everything was slipping from his fingers. his carefully constructed walls, the mask he kept on at all times and the unwavering resolve to push through until he'd become the head of the clan, they all came crumbling down when you announced that you would leave for an indefinite amount of time.

"don't leave," the words came out like a whisper, barely audible in the chimes of the wind. your eyes widened ever so slightly at his words, heart clenching at the sight of such a vulerable noritoshi - a reflection of your 'toshi. he reached out to you, hesitantly glasping your hand in a weak grip. as if he was afraid, prepared even, that you would go anyways. "please," he pleaded a second later, intertwining your fingers with his. like the wings of a hummingbird, your heart was fastly beating at this display of intimacy. it made you feel warm and cold at the same time, filling you with dread and the looming fear of consequences.

but what would he do if his last source of hope would leave him? ever since his mum left, he sparsely had contact with her until the contact eventually ceased to be. never did she reach out to him or react to his attempts to rekindle the relationship. throughout his adolescent years he had lonely, the guilt gnawing at his conscience. if only he could be stronger, more resilient. stand up to the elders and stand tall and proud, being nobody else but him. you gave him hope, that he could someday return to you, even if it remained a simple friendship. a beacon of light would always be one as there was always light at the end of the tunnel. panic filled his head as he realized that you would abandon him and this time it would be final.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry," noritoshi mumbled in a begging tone and slowly drew you closer, until you stood between his legs. his face was basked in the evening light, accentuating all the features you liked about him. his kind, steel blue eyes that harboured depths of emotion and mystery like a restless ocean. his long hair that flowed with the wind, not being wrapped up in the bindings for once. the wisps of hair that framed his slim face. it was an unusual sight, making your heart clench in melancholy. he looked so innocent like this, the gentleness in his facial expressions more visible now. as if feeling your resolve slipping away, he took the opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist and pressed his face in your chest, exhaling shakily and slowly. you let him, gently petting his hair.

underneath his breath, noritoshi murmured something. his voice was muffled in the fabric, making it difficult to understand what he was saying. you made a confused sound, leaning down slightly to better listen to him. not expecting him to move as well, you suddenly found yourself face to face with him and much closer than before. "i love you," he breathed out, pressing his lips against yours in a fluid motion. they felt scalding against yours, as if reminding you to stay away and yet soft, inviting you back in. finally gasping for air, you pulled away, fingers coming up to touch your tingling lips. noritoshi gave you a hopeful look, fingers dancing across the expanse of your back.

slowly, you backed away from him, avoiding his glance. you were in shock, not being able to process his confession. the entire confrontation had quickly escalated and you weren't able to follow. though the words made your heart clench, you couldn't help but feel like they were empty words. empty, simply thrown into the mix to elicit some kind of reaction from you. "i'm sorry, noritoshi. i- i can't return this, nor do i… i don't feel like i can believe you," you told him with a heavy heart. he opened his mouth, about to retort something when you cut him off. "please just let us move on from this, okay? i- i'll leave now." you sprinted away from him, tears stinging in your eyes. how could words that you've always wanted to hear hurt this much? how dare he play with your emotions like this, using your weakness to his advantage. he wasn't serious, and you were sure of it. there was no way in hell, after all those years that he'd spent being a menacing asshole.

love was a fickle thing but what was it between noritoshi and you? treading the line between love and hate, tilting more towards the other but not quite. never far apart and connected to each other like an invisible thread of fate was intertwined between you. it wasn't love and it wasn't hate but everything in between.

you stared at the piece of paper in your hands, mildly offended. how dare gojo? why would he do this to you? yeah right, because he liked to see you suffer. and he wasn't even here to get an earful from you. clenching your teeth, you tossed the note on your table and moved towards your closet to pack. it was no use complaining about it, in the end the mission had to be accomplished either way. years you'd gotten away with rarely ever meeting noritoshi. the sorcerer community wasn't big to begin with but with skill and determination, you were able to dodge every encounter. the handful of times you met, he always kept his distance though you always felt his watching eyes on you. megumi had told you that noritoshi was to become clan head soon - the elders had finally given in and the handover would be taking place soon.

apparently noritoshi had proven himself to them, both in strength and leadership skills. even you had taken notice of this. you'd only caught a brief glimpse at him at the last gathering but could tell that he had matured, exuding an authoritative and strong aura. but you had grown as well, no longer the meek girl you had been. you were more confident in your skills now thanks to your diligent training with shoko and yuta. moments of insecurity rarely entered your mind anymore. the relationship, or rather lack thereof, between you was rather frosty now, merely limited to an awkward greeting or a simple nod. the tension was palpable, no one wanted to come in the line of fire. for the most part, people had left you alone and not dared asking about the issue, not even your own mum. but of course, gojo then had to enter and send you on this stupid mission that apparently had to be done in pairs. you would’ve been fine with anyone but noritoshi.

it was a rather unpleasant curse that you had to deal with, gojo told you that it required two people to keep it in check. though you didn’t understand his reasoning, seeing as noritoshi was a grade one sorcerer now. gojo had simply left you a note on your door after he left for his own business (pure cowardice, in your opinion). the note let you know that you would be staying overnight, gojo had already booked a hotel room for you and gave you instructions for the report that you had to fill out later. you were to meet up with noritoshi at the hotel before then heading out to investigate, work out a strategy before attacking. you sighed, tossing the bag near the door before crawling in your bed. how would you face him again, for an extended period of time, after all those years of silence? it was best to just get it over and done with, efficiently and quickly. depending on how fast you were, you might even be able to catch the last train home. you couldn’t sleep, feeling restless and anxious about the entire situation. still, you closed your eyes, trying to get your mind to rest. but all that floated around in your brain was the sound of rustling leaves, accompanied with soft lips on yours.

coincidentally, noritoshi was already in the city the curse was situated at, deciding to then check into the hotel first before you’d meet up. he would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous - he didn’t know how to navigate the entire mission with minimal communication. he knew you didn’t want to talk to him, choosing to give him curt and snappy responses instead. cooperating was out of question, you disliked his presence and he could feel it. seeing that gojo had coordinated this (instead of doing the mission himself, like he was supposed to), noritoshi didn't expect anything to go well. weeks prior, gojo had pestered him about the title that was bestowed upon him. "so what's your first deed as the kamo clan head?" he had questioned noritoshi, grinning from ear to ear. noritoshi had shrugged and simply told him that he would go about his day. there were no plans, not yet at least. "so you're not gonna go and woo your lady?" this all knowing idiot. just thinking about it made his blood boil again.

noritoshi’s patience was already wearing thin upon seeing that gojo had booked one room for the two of you. with one bed only. he swore that gojo's secret skill was to give everyone headaches. complaining was useless, the hotel couldn't give him another room as everything was booked out due to it being the summer holidays. they'd deal with it somehow, even if he would have to sleep on the floor. noritoshi was placing his bag and outerwear in the closet when the door clicked, signaling that you'd arrived. for a brief moment, your eyes met but as soon as they did, your eyes had flitted somewhere else. you placed your bag on a nearby chair, rummaging in it until you found your sword and other supplies that you would be taking with you.

noritoshi remained silent, not wanting to upset you. he waited until you were ready to go, soundlessly following you. it was awkward but expected. at first, he was somewhat able to tell what you were looking for and gave you pointers in the right direction. it seemed to irritate you and you started venturing off on your own, simply leaving him behind. it frustrated him, after all you had a job to be done and needed to be as careful as possible. as a result of your uncooperativeness, it took longer than usual to map out a strategy. even longer because you refused to follow his suggestions and rather made up your own, knowing full well that they weren't as efficient.

the aftermath was… rather unpleasant. while there were no casualties, the two of you looked absolutely filthy and were in need of a good shower. noritoshi was angry, he didn't want to blame you but the entire situation got incredibly messy because of your stubborn head. hadn't you attacked him on your own, he would've been able to get rid of the curse swiftly. you'd snapped at him, asking him what his problem was. after all, the mission was finished and over with. involuntarily, noritoshi had to snort. you came back to the hotel late, far past midnight and still, you had the nerve to nag on him the entire way there. he'd let you use the shower first before hopping in himself. without a word you left the hotel room to grab yourself some snacks, stomach growling in protest.

noritoshi was seldom petty; as he put his robe on and entered the room, discovering that you hadn't come back yet, he promptly decided to give you a taste of your own medicine and stubbornly take the bed. what would you do about it now? he was peacefully reading a book in the dim lighting of the room when you came back. you almost dropped the snacks that you grabbed, narrowing your eyes at him. noritoshi ignored you, turning another page in the book unbothered. huffing in annoyance, you stomped over to the other side of the bed. noritoshi continued to ignore you.

"i'm not sharing a bed with you," you stated, crossing your arms in defiance. you didn't have any other solution but you were not going down without a fight.

noritoshi just narrowed his eyes at you and replied equally annoyed: "childish much, huh? just put some pillows between us if it bothers you that much. we're adults, for fuck's sake. and we've shared beds before, so i don't know what your problem is."

at this point you were fuming, you'd rather sleep on the floor than go anywhere near him. you wanted to wipe that stupid look off his face because you knew he was right and he knew it too. you were being childish and you couldn't deny it. there was no real reason to the quarrel, you wanted to be as insufferable as possible.

"it's different now!" you hissed indignantly. noritoshi looks at you incredulously, not getting your point. "you're a man now and- and it makes me uncomfortable!"

truthfully, it was more the fact that you were painfully aware of his presence now. noritoshi hadn't noticed but your feelings came crashing back in, filling the entirety of your being with yearning. each and every time he came too close, you dashed and didn't give him the opportunity to look at your face. the pained expression on your face was obvious, you weren't able to hide it. despite the hostility, you couldn't help but care. no matter how much you denied it, you would always habour feelings for him and were very much attracted to him.

"that's why i told you to put pillows between us??"

okay, that's it. "i can't stand being anywhere near you! you're a prick and i hate you," you snarled at him. to seal the deal, you hurled one of the pillows at him and watched triumphantly as it hit his chest. the angry look in noritoshi's eyes, however, told you that you fucked up. gritting his teeth, he tossed his book aside and lunged to grab you. you squeaked in surprise and wiggled out of his grasp, wrestling out of his arms until you stumbled and awkwardly landed on the bed, beside him. noritoshi keeps a tight grip on you, glaring down at you. now you've really crossed the line. 

all confidence left your body when he hissed: "what. is. your. problem." you fucked up, royally. once noritoshi was mad, you were in for a ride. it was best to keep him in good spirits, appease him a little so he would ease up. you scrambled panicky and tried to apologize, pathetically wiggling in his arms.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry! i didn't mean it, please let me go!"

noritoshi kept a steel grip on you, moving between your legs and pinning your hands to the mattress. his face inched closer, you could feel his breath fanning across your neck. you stayed still, breath hitched as you waited for his next move. noritoshi's voice was raspy, lilting with an emotion that you couldn't decipher. "you're being a brat, y/n. look at yourself, you've hurt me… tsk, how are you going to make it up to me?"

you couldn't tell whether he was joking or genuinely hurt - your intuition told you that he was simply playing with you as payback. no matter how far away you strayed, you always seemed to find yourself back in this position. he was hypnotizing, alluring even. not giving him a reply, you stared at the ceiling, frozen in thought. while you'd been intimate on more than one occasion, noritoshi had never acted this way. so… possessive and strict, the tone in his voice told you that he wasn't up for any more quarreling. you were at a loss for words. 

noritoshi, not being happy with not receiving an answer, decided to take matters in his own hands. he nipped at your neck playfully, making you yelp in surprise before pressing kisses against your neck. your skin was tingling, shots of electricity moving up your spine. when there was no objection on your end, noritoshi took it was an okay to continue. hands squeezing yours, he resumes his work, giving you soft and almost unnoticeable kisses. other times, he was pressing harder, sucking your skin gently. you wondered whether he left some marks - delirious on pleasure, your mind focused back on him.desire overtook you, no longer was your rationality at the forefront. in the depths of your heart, an emotion that rarely made an appearance emerged. it was flooding your senses, your conscious and mind, begging you to give in.

by the time noritoshi reached your lips, you were writhing. you expected him to kiss you but then he stopped, making you involuntarily whimper. you wanted more, wanted to savour it. a small smile found its way onto his lips as he brushed your hair back and cupped your chin, making you look at him.

and you swore that he knew, he just had to know what a mess he's already made of you in such a short amount of time as he asked, "what's wrong hm? what do you need, baby?" you fell for it, hook line and sinker. you thought to yourself, fuck it, the opportunity was right there. he may be an insufferable dick and you might fight more than you get along but the opportunity was there and god, did you want to be selfish. for just one night, you wanted to be his. you leaned up to kiss him but noritoshi pulled back, clicking his tongue, repeating again and this time more firmly, "what do you need?" 

you couldn't help but stare at him, how his slightly damp hair framed his face, his chest that was exposed by the loosely tied bathrobe and how it revealed parts of his thigh. you wanted to see more of him, touch him. there was a burning feeling inside your chest, it was clawing at your skin, trying to break free. you grew more restless as he stayed still and gave you a stern look until you grasped the hem of his sleeves and whimpered quietly, "please kiss me."

it felt like an eternity until he pressed his lips against yours, everything that was so unmistakably him flooded your senses. his scent wrapped around you until your brain couldn't make out any more coherent thoughts other than him. 'toshi, 'toshi, 'toshi, your 'toshi. he moved so languidly; his lips were warm and soft but bruising at the same time, kissing you with fervour. you began to ease into the kiss, letting go of all your inhibitions. you could worry about it later, you'd decided, this is a future you problem. you wiggled in his hold, hands coming up to push at his bathrobe. noritoshi didn't budge and continued to kiss you, sucking your bottom lip - your hands became more restless, desperate to touch him. he made an unenthused noise, biting your bottom lip as if warning you to not push him. still, he somehow obliged and sat back on his heels, taking his bathrobe off and throwing it haphazardly to the side. 

he looked ethereal, somewhere in the distance you thought you can hear angels singing. you reached out to touch him again, earning you yet another warning glance from him. “where do you get the confidence to do whatever you want after that little stunt you pulled earlier?” he questioned you in a low voice. whatever snarky remark you had on your tongue was thrown out of the window when noritoshi leaned down to touch you, slowly pushing your oversized shirt up to reveal your shorts, then your bra. 

your breath hitched in your throat, you couldn't tell what he was thinking because even in this state he kept his perfect poker face on. and when he undressed you, you almost felt embarrassed of how eager you were to rid yourself of your clothes. yet you felt exposed - noritoshi didn't make a sound as he just studied you as if you were a luxurious meal presented on a silver plate, the sound of his breathing alone making you squirmish. he didn't give you the satisfaction of a compliment nor did he let you know what he thought, instead leaning down to kiss you again.

before you could deepen the kiss, he’s already moved down to your neck. you mewled in disappointment, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your hands in his hair. this time, he let you touch him, too absorbed in his mission to paint the skin of your neck in hues of red and purple. noritoshi moved lower when he was finally satisfied with his work of art, you’re a great canvas, he thought to himself. the burning feeling in your chest was flaring up again, you felt uncomfortably hot and the only relief you got was him touching you. he must know, he was doing this on purpose. you were convinced. a surprised gasp left your lips when his tongue swiped across your nipple before wrapping his lips around it. his fingers flicked the other one and- oh god did it feel so electrifying, so delicious, so good. you moaned his name, gently tugging on his hair as he continued his ministrations. “noritoshi,” you whimpered, trying to grind against his thigh. “please- please touch me.” he moved faster than you could react, snapping the waistband of your panties against your skin.

“i am touching you,” noritoshi responded matter-of-factly, cupping your breasts. “is this not enough?” you shook your head, making him chuckle. he took his sweet time, lathering your chest with the utmost attention. at this point you were sure you’d soaked through your panties and onto the sheets and you were desperate. finally, his lips left your nipple, his breath grazing them, making you shiver. he seemed to enjoy it, enjoy the effect he has on you, how you were writhing for him and him only. with swift movements, he removed your panties and your legs were thrown over his shoulders - how are his shoulders so broad - and he pressed kisses to your inner thighs. “look at you,” he cooed, glancing up at you. “you’re so wet for me and i haven’t even touched you here yet. are you craving me?”

“yes,” you mewled truthfully, wiggling your hips slightly. you missed how his face lights up in delight, loving how you’re slowly but surely coming undone for him. he was placing kisses everywhere but where you wanted him, where you needed him. you were at his mercy, he alone decided the pace. the desperate little tugs at his hair left him unbothered, you couldn't even move properly because he was keeping a tight grip on your hips, holding them down onto the mattress. “do you want me?” you nodded quickly. “then beg.”

"i'm not- i'm not gonna fucking b-" you didn't get to finish your sentence as noritoshi gave your inner thigh a bite. 

"language," he hissed in irritation. "we can do this all night, baby. i don't have any qualms about keeping you here, making you squirm until you know not to treat me like that." to emphasize his threat, his hands languidly stroked your inner thighs, inching closer to your heat. goosebumps raised across your skin. noritoshi paid no mind to your laboured breathing or how you stared at him in disbelief. you would not beg him more than this, this stupid asshole, who did he think he is to expect you to do as he says? as if sensing that your attention wasn't on him anymore, one of his hands reached up to pinch your nipple.

you felt his fingers grazing your pussy, flicking over your clit but not quite touching it. yet the pleasure, coupled with the sharp pain of his pinching, was enough to make you delirious. you moaned his name, hips rutting up slightly to meet his hand. noritoshi pulled away abruptly and made you whine in frustration. "noritoshi!" you whimpered again, closing your eyes in embarrassment. "please just- just touch m-" 

you felt another, harder pinch, tingles shooting straight to your core. "look at me," noritoshi growled and you opened your eyes quickly, not wanting to disappoint him again.

"please touch me, please just… i need you, need your lips or fingers," you struggled to find the right words, huffing in frustration at your weak attempt to persuade him. "please make me cum, please. i'll be good for you, i promise, i promise. wanna be good for you." 

a sardonic smile graced noritoshi's lips, your begging music to his ears. he almost wished you could see yourself like this - the yearning evident in your eyes, your glossy eyes. what would you say? how quickly your resolve had crumbled, even though you'd vowed to yourself to keep him at an arm's length away from you. what was more heavenly to his ears are your moans and he intended to draw every last bit out of you tonight.

when his tongue finally made contact with your cunt, a loud moan leaves your lips, you almost sob in relief. your thighs trembled slightly, threatening to close but noritoshi was quick to pry them open and delved deeper into your heat. he alternated between lapping at your folds, then dragging his tongue across your clit before giving it a suck. your hips rocked against his face, meeting his movements as if it was already second nature to them. you thought you were seeing stars when you inched closer to your climax. tugging at his hair you whimpered out his name, letting him know that you're close, so close. that's when he pulled away, smirking at you as your high slowly ebbed away. you made a noise in protest, brows pinching in frustration but noritoshi just cooed at you condescendingly. 

"you seem to forget who's in control here," he tsked at you, dragging his thumb across your clit. your hips jerked. "but, baby, you look so pitiful, i might just feel sorry for you." 

hope sparked in your eyes when he pressed a brief kiss to your lips before slipping his fingers past your folds, his thumb drawing circles on your clit. "ride my fingers," he commanded and you reacted immediately, eagerly rutting against his fingers. you missed the dark glint in his eyes, the look that tells you you were not easily let off the hook whatsoever. pleasure was clouding your judgement, heightening your sensitivity to his touch. a loud moan fell from your lips when noritoshi curled his fingers, hitting a spot that otherwise was difficult for you to reach. your hand came up to cover your mouth, too embarrassed about other guests possibly hearing you.

noritoshi withdrew his fingers, thumb pressing against your clit. you gasped desperately, pawing at his chest to plead him to continue. "i want to hear you. don't you dare hide your moans," he told you, only sliding his fingers back into you when you complied. noritoshi was still kneeling, watching as you moved your hips against his fingers with fascination. while you'd kept a steady rhythm at the beginning, it was getting more and more sporadic. you were close again, noritoshi could tell. and yet it wasn't enough, he had to get you closer to the edge to then break you after.

"o- oh fuck," you cursed, gripping the sheets tightly as noritoshi moved his fingers, repeatedly hitting the spot that made your toes curl. you were to close, you could cum, soon- 

"noritoshi!" a frustrated sob resounded from you as he pulled away, looking down at you with a satisfied smirk. your hands came up to wipe the tears that were welling in your eyes. you bit your bottom lip to keep yourself from crying as you watched him pop his fingers in his mouth, licking your essence from them. the sight alone made you feel hot and bothered. in the dim light of the room, noritoshi looked downright sinful. the way his broad frame was casting a shadow over your form, his glistening eyes, the sheen of sweat on his body and how his hair was hanging in his face.

"please let me cum, please! i- i want you so bad, want you in me… noritoshi, please give me it," you begged quietly, crawling towards him. noritoshi felt his heart soften at your cute face - you were so easy to read, he enjoyed teasing you. small hands reached out for the bulge in his boxers, experimentally pressing and nudging at it. noritoshi hissed uncomfortably; he was painfully hard and ready to cum as well but he couldn't, not yet. wanted to play with you more, mapping out the entirety of your body until he memorized how you reacted to his touch.

swiftly flipping positions, he pulled you on top of him, placing you directly above his crotch. you sank down immediately, sighing shakily as you pressed your cunt against the bulge. the boxers had to come off, they were the last barrier. you had to feel his skin on yours, wanted to be closer. noritoshi's hands shot out to stop you, giving you a warning look. you understood, withdrawing your arms to rest on your sides. pressing his bulge against you, he guided your hips to move against it, folds dragging across the fabric of his boxers. the friction was delicious, especially when he rutted against you, pressing against your clit. it took you a few tries until you figured out a comfortable rhythm, placing your hands against his chest as you moved on your own.

noritoshi kept his eyes on you. brushing your hair out of your face so he could get a better look at you, he then rested them near your thighs. "are you close?" he inquired when your movements became quicker and you nodded in reply, giving him a pleading look. he raised his eyebrows at you, shaking his head ever so slightly. "you don't get to cum without my permission."

he could see the conflict and hesitation, dancing in your eyes, how you were contemplating to go against his commands. noritoshi's heart filled with pride when you slowed down, thighs trembling from the restraint you kept on yourself. "good girl," he rewarded you, leaning up to kiss you. you whimpered against his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. you were a sight to behold, noritoshi mused. slick spread across the fabric of his boxers and your thighs, kiss-bruised lips and the love bites that were blooming across your chest. he was proud to be able to have this effect on you. 

it didn't take long until you were close again, this time begging and pleading him to let you continue. noritoshi supposed he toyed around enough, ready to give you what you were so desperately craving. lifting you up slightly, he pushed his boxers down and reached to the side, fumbling with the drawers of the night table before being able to pull out a condom. you watched in curiosity, as he put it on then lined his member up against your pussy. he dragged the head of his cock against your clit a couple of times, making you jump in surprise before letting you sink down. a long, relieved moan left your lips as you felt him fill you up to the brim. you'd never felt this full and good. jerking your hips against his slightly, your legs trembled as he perfectly hit that spot inside you effortlessly. his name fell from your lips like a mantra, letting everyone know that he was the one pleasuring you. 

noritoshi let you adjust to him before wrapping his arms around you to keep you in place, driving his hips up against yours in an almost punishing tempo. your lips parted in a silent scream, no sounds leaving them other than heavy breaths. "f- fuck, noritoshi! i'm so close, please let me have it, please-" you begged sobbing. you didn't think you could survive another edging, it would utterly crush you. knowing that you were at his mercy, you complied with his orders. never had you felt this much pleasure, with anyone. noritoshi accomplished what others could never - setting your nerves ablaze with a simple touch.

"cum for me." your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, leaving you writhing in his arms until you rode it out. noritoshi continued to move against you in a languid tempo, lovingly pressing kisses across your face. you slumped against his body exhausted, aftershocks still wracking through your body. he stroke your back gently, giving you a short kiss. "can you take another one?" he asked, making you look at him. though your mind was hazy, you could tell that he was caring, wanting to make you feel as comfortable as possible despite his mean side. you nodded, your words slurred as you told him: "mhmm, still want you, all of you."

noritoshi was laying you on the mattress, freezing mid-way as he hovered above you. could it be? there was no way. he brushed the thought off quickly, leaning down to kiss you. you sloppily returned the kiss, blindly moving your hands around until you found his, intertwining them happily. swiftly, he entered you again - now taking his sweet time. the pace was slow but filled with force, making you see stars. you wrapped your legs around his waist, heels digging into his skin. you blinked in confusion as noritoshi whispered sweet nothings into your ear. tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him - you wanted him, so so much that it hurt you. you imagined you weren't in this situation, that this was simply intimacy between lovers. that you were his and he was yours, with no care in the world.

driving his hips against yours faster now, you could tell that he was close. lifting your hips to meet his movement, you whimpered against his lips. you wanted to pleasure him as much as he did you. the sight of his screwed shut eyes, panting heavily as he came, it nearly knocked the wind out of your lungs. noritoshi buried his face in the crook of your neck, whimpering quietly as he thrusted a few more times before coming to a halt. for a few minutes, you remain in this position, basking in the afterglow. he removes himself from you, telling you to stay put as he left to get some wet towels from the bathroom. as you laid there, your cunt wasn't the only thing that felt empty.

your eyes were glossing over and you were once again reminded of the fact that you couldn't have him. that he’s not your ‘toshi. you sat up slowly, spotting the mirror across the room. you stared at your reflection in your mirror, horrified at all the marks noritoshi had left behind and suddenly it dawned on you that you don’t understand why. you didn't care about each other - why would he mark you like this? your heartbeat sped up at the thought of him possibly, maybe, returning your feelings. that he wasn't just toying with your feelings to get back at you.

noritoshi returned, giving you a small smile as he signaled you to lift your arms a little so he could wipe you down. the gentleness in his actions made you sniffle emotionally; he paid attention to every single detail, making sure not to miss a spot. once done, he placed the towel on the nearby chair then returning to wrap you in the blankets and cradling you against his chest like a baby. the sound of his breath nearly lulled you into sleep. you leaned against his chest, sinking into the blankets. "are you okay? was i too rough?" noritoshi asked after a moment of silence. you didn't reply. why was he acting like this? as if you were a couple, as if he really cared. 

"y/n? you don't have to reply, but at least give me a hand sign, so i know you're okay," he repeated again, looking at you with furrowed eyebrows. you turned your head away from him, trying to hide your tears. it wasn't long before you started crying uncontrollably, hiding your face in your hands. noritoshi started panicking, fussing over you and tried to pry your hands away so you would look at him. repeatedly shaking your head, you pushed him away from you.

"w- why couldn't you always be this gentle to me?" the words finally left your mouth, accusatory. "i- i didn't deserve any of this treatment and i still struggle to understand why it happened. i should hate you, hate you so much and yet i don't? why can't you love me the way i love you?"

speechless, noritoshi pulled away from you, arms sinking to his sides. it made you sob even harder, thinking that he was going to leave you again, like he always did. he never stayed, only came to wreck havoc, leaving you to pick up the pieces. "y/n, i'm sorry, i-" he drew you in, pressing you against his chest. you were confused at your own outbreak of emotions, not sure how to calm down. "i'm not sure what you thought, but i meant it when i told you that i love you, all those years back," noritoshi mumbled, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

you shook your head vehemently. "i don't believe that, not for one second. you've hurt me for so long and suddenly you had a change of heart?"

"i know it's hard to believe, but i promise i'm not lying. i do love you. with all my heart," noritoshi lifted your chin slightly, wiping the tears from your eyes. gently, he kissed you. "back then, i wasn't able to tell you but… things have changed now and i'll tell you, okay? but not now, tomorrow-"

"no! you'll just leave again and act like nothing happened and i-" you panicked, clinging onto him as dread washed over you again. he was going to leave again, the mission was over after all and you'd go separate ways again.

"i'm staying." noritoshi said firmly, holding your hands so you couldn't flail around anymore. "i'm not leaving you, okay? go to sleep, i know you're exhausted… when you wake up, i'll be there. we'll discuss things in the morning."

"promise?" 

"i promise."

you didn't know why but this time, you trusted him. at least a little bit more than before. nodding slightly, you pressed your small frame against his. noritoshi's calming scent wrapped around you, lulling you into sleep. he watched as you fell asleep in his arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he settled as well, closing his eyes.

"i love you, y/n."

p.s.: i hurt myself writing this too haha but i swear this was it with the angst

[holden-caulfield]

hi !! can i req a “r...ed string bonds two soulmates together for a lifetime and all come in varying lengths—imagine the trouble of only being able to walk certain distances or having to sleep on the edge of your bed” with draco ??? thanks!!

Thank you for the lovely request!! I slightly changed the concept for it to work, hope it's okay!

Red Binds

Summary: soulmate au in which two are bound by magical red strings. When the soulmates get closer, the strings shrink too until they meet.

Prompt from this list.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1309

//

Soulmates were amazing, there was no denying that. The idea that somewhere in the world a person made precisely, perfectly, only for you existed was ecstatic, magical one could even say.

But red tight strings clutching your very own wrist wherever you went was annoying to say the least. You always had this pesky feeling of entrapment clenching your skin and it was utterly unbearable.

You couldn't do anything to loosen the string, it could only tighten. Not enough to block your blood circulation but it certainly wasn't comfortable.

The most irritating feature that having a soulmate entailed was the inability to do certain things. The vexatious string never increased in length, only shrank: every time you and your soulmate got closer, the string shortened, decreasing the distance you could be apart.

It often happened in the worst situations: there were certain moments in which you couldn't join your friends outside just because you and your soulmate were too far away. You even had to ask one of your dorm mates to switch beds with you, hers being closer to the door and allowing you not to sleep on the edge of it. You still had to sleep with your arm dangling because the string was too short, but it was better than sleeping on the floor.

You were envying all of the people that seemed to have found their soulmate, not because they had finally uncovered their one and only, but because they were finally free from their silky restraints.

In fact, once you and your soulmate met, the strings loosened considerably. They also allowed much more movement because when one encounters their soulmate they are finally free.

A peculiar kind of freedom. You wait all your life bounded by these red cuffs only to be freed by someone who will remain by your side forever. Peculiar indeed, yet reassuring. You were rather skeptical about it but you would have given everything to find your soulmate and finally have your wrist released.

It wasn't easy, however, to find your soulmate. You couldn't just follow the string, no, it would have been way too easy. The string was magical of course, it became invisible after a few inches, the being visible only for a certain length before disappearing into thin air. It was still there, you were sure of that, but it couldn't be seen and thus it couldn't be followed, making the whole process of finding your special someone much more difficult.

As of you, though, the grim condition imposed by the universe was getting out of hand. Sadly, not literally: the string was still tightly latched on your wrist.

You were walking rather happily down the corridor towards your next class, trotting down the hallway with your friends beside you when something made you harshly stop.

Your arm hanged in mid-air, stretched by the scarlet silk which had caused all of your books to fall from your hands to the ground.

You received a couple of sympathetic glances from your friends who helped you collect your belongings but the situation didn't change: you couldn't still reach your next classroom. It was getting really ridiculous.

You waved your friends goodbye, asking them to give your excuses to McGonagall who would have, luckily, understood the circumstances, and tried a different way, hoping the string who allow it.

You took a few steps but had to stop again: you wondered whether your soulmate was having the same problems; maybe he was just sat at his desk, listening intently to the lesson, unlike you.

You clutched your books to your chest and made your way back to your common room. If you couldn't attend the lesson you would have at least gotten ahead with your homework.

You were about to enter when you had to stop again. You couldn't believe it: the string was now so short you couldn't even go inside your common room.

After a rapid series of curses you decided you had enough: you would have treaded every single corridor of hogwarts to find your soulmate if it meant you would have finally been able to go wherever you wanted, whenever you needed.

Your steps were steady and sure as you tried yet another different direction but they soon faltered when you started questioning yourself: what if your soulmate didn't attend hogwarts?

That would have been a problem indeed. But how couldn't they live there? The string didn't allow you much movement anymore, they must be here.

So you started confidently trudging once more, though the tiniest bit of insecurity was hidden in your resolved expression.

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't worry."

You were so engrossed in your own thoughts that you didn't even notice the figure that bumped into you.

You quickly resumed your path, still thinking about all the possible eventualities, and quickly found yourself back in front of McGonagall's classroom.

You were confused. Just moments ago you weren't even able to come close and now, now you were there.

You hesitated to open the door and instead ran outside, as fast as you could, almost expecting the twine to eventually block you. But it didn't.

You swiftly changed direction and ran back inside, easily reaching the farthest point from the lake near which you were just a few moments ago.

You took a moment to catch your breath and for the first time you actually noticed something new.

Your wrist didn't ache. Not at all. The flaming twine bounding your wrist was still there but you couldn't tell it was unless you actually looked at it.

Everything came together. The stranger you bumped into was unequivocally your soulmate.

Really a shame you didn't even glance up at him when you ran into him.

You retraced your steps to the corridor, but obviously he wasn't there anymore. You frantically searched for the stranger but how could you find him when you didn't even know what he looked like?

You were now walking way slower than before, a resigned air on your face as you almost dragged your feet across the floor.

"I'm sorry, it's the second time today, i should really begin to watch where i step..." you confessed as you bumped into yet another stranger, only this time you actually took the time to look at him.

He had blond hair, so light you swore it was blinding, and eyes that sent a shiver down your spine just from the cold they seemed to emit.

"Yes, you should." you scrunched up your nose in response, the tone of the boy in front of you too haughty for your liking. "And you should also stop running around the school, it was incredibly difficult finding you."

Your face immediately relaxed into a surprised one at the realization.

"So you're..."

"Yes."

"And you were looking..."

"For you, yes."

A smirk took over your features and you quickly jabbed him in the chest.

"Ow! What did i do?"

"You made my life very much complicated! I couldn't get to class today because you were merlin knows where!" your tone was neither angry nor reprimanding, the smile adorning your features very easily giving you away.

"You were the problem here! I had to follow Snape's lesson from the corridor because of you!" his voice was soft as he spoke, a fake frown dancing lightly on his face.

You tried to stifle a laughter looking down between you, but when you looked back up you realized you were closer than you expected.

"Draco Malfoy." he extended his hand to you even though he didn't have to move much because of the small distance that separated the two of you.

"Y/n Y/l/n."

His gaze never once left yours as he gingerly took your hand in his, guiding you away from the empty corridor, and, although you were now free, you squeezed the hand he gave you, wishing to never part from him again. Maybe it was worth in the end.

//

So this was yet another soulmate au... I don't know how to feel about this but it's been in the drafts for too long so here it is...

Taglist <3

@turn-to-page-394-please @gwlvr @dracosaccount @astoria-malfcy @dracomalfoys-wh0re @eunoniaa @cherie-draco @oeuryale @wh0re4blaise @90smalfoy @sanctimoniousslytherpuff @maybesandohnos @dracoswhore007 @macheregrace @paulina1998 @bungunz @malfoysbiitch @dreamy-clousds @malfoyxxdraco23 @saayanaaa @xlauren-malfoyx @riddleswh0r3crux

[if your name is crossed out, check your privacy settings!]

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story*

*Seasons 2-3 (series finale); I reviewed season 1 when that’s all I knew existed, HERE.

As the rumor that “magical girls can be saved if they come to Kamihama City” continues to spread, Iroha and Madoka join forces with their friends to save the magical girls from their fates.

Right, so, last time I watched Magia Record (about a year and a half ago), I wasn’t terribly impressed. I picked up the show based on its description, which didn’t mention how this show relates to the original Madoka Magica, and I was even more unimpressed when that season ended without resolving anything; then shortly after I watched they announced another season. So this time around, I watched seasons 2-3 (13 episodes total between them), knowing that the story was supposed to be complete.

Let’s start with the good: this is an interesting show. While confusing at times during the first season since it starts becoming clear that the events of Madoka Magica can’t have happened (alternate timeline? alternate universe?), once you figure that out and accept it, it’s easier to go alone with because you’re not waiting for specific events from that original series.

We get more characters here, and the “doppel” system that seems to prevent magical girls from flat-out dying is a fantastic way to keep a viewer hooked. The antagonists, too, instead of being witches and the dead-eyed Kyubey, are other magical girls: a cult-like group that promises to help “save” magical girls, but who are oblique about how, and run their group with an intimidating precision.

Despite the problems I had with the show, it kept me interested enough to watch all the way to the end, so that’s saying something.

The problems, though. First is that, as mentioned, I started season two 1.5 years after watching season one, and while I remembered the major plot points and Iroha’s goals, I didn’t remember many of the Magia Record-specific characters besides Iroha and mature fighter Yachiyo. And the other problem was...I didn’t care enough to look them up. I pulled up detailed descriptions of the last third of the first season’s episodes so I could reorient myself, but it only helped a little. There were just so many other girls, and none of them were interesting or important enough to stick out.

I mean, then one girl showed up and I had absolutely zero recollection of, and it turns out she was in, like, the first episode and headed to Kamihama City with Iroha, then promptly disappeared for the rest of the first season? No wonder I didn’t remember her! And there wasn’t anything in the show itself to clue me in!

Besides an overabundance of named characters we’re supposed to care about, the explanation for how and why things are happening seemed to me skimpy at best. We finally get a backstory episode explaining how and why things are like this (eventually featuring another character from the first season who I couldn’t remember what she did or what her place in the current story was), but the eventual rationale for the Big Spoilery Event was...just okay. I watched it and was like, “huh, they really just had to come up with something to make these big events happen, didn’t they?” As it goes on, I had a hard time keeping straight what actions and events were supposed to lead to which outcomes. The tension gets lost when my best reaction to episodes is “cool, more fighting, hope [whatever character] is okay.”

 Verdict

English Dub? No (even though the first season had one)

Visuals: This is a good-looking show, which helped save my interest. Fight scenes are well-choreographed; a big reason I kept actively watching instead of just putting it on in the background was because the show is very good at making things look interesting and exciting, even when I wasn’t sure (or didn’t care) why things were happening.

Worth Watching? Did you like the first season, or want to see where it goes? Or do you like the mobile game this is apparently based on? Or are you interested in the wider realm of Madoka Magica spinoffs and/or alternate timelines? It’s not a bad show necessarily, I just found it to be lacking in the story department. Like I mentioned, I did actively watch it to the end and I wasn’t hate-watching.

Where to watch (USA, as of May 2022): Funimation; Crunchyroll; HIDIVE

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[confused-stars]

I saw your tags for the Sign AU, and I can't stop thinking about the possible interrogation. Shigaraki is preparing himself for hours of grueling questions about locations, members, quirks, and plans. But then his favorite hero shows up and asks how he knows his sign name? It's been two hours and Shigaraki still doesn't understand why they are asking about this. He is confused. Aizawa is confused. And AFO has no idea about all the chaos a sign name has caused.

*clears throat* may i-

It must have been hours at this point. Tomura is sure, from how drained he feels and how tight his stomach is with hunger. They’ve offered him a sandwich, sure, but he wasn’t about to accept it. Especially since the handcuffs around his wrists were clearly created with him - or touch-based quirk users - specifically in mind: rather than hold his hands behind his back, or loosely in front, they force his palms together, fingers pressed against each other as if he’s praying, secured together with five sets of dual rings that wrap around his joints. It’s not uncomfortable, but it also leaves him just a little more helpless. If he wants to eat, someone will have to feed him, and he absolutely refuses to even entertain the notion.

Kurogiri is still out there. The League is still out there. They’ll come for him if only he waits long enough. They’ll find out where he is. He’s not being moved to Tartarus, he knows that much, because Sensei is there and they don’t want them close. 

He almost wishes they would move him. That they'd just give it up already. He hasn't said a word since they brought him in.

Well... that's not entirely true.

When All Might was here earlier, tired and skinny looking and... and pathetic, with no right to keep his head held high like that, and he called Tomura by a name that's not his (it's not, it's not, it's not), Tomura did snap at him to shut up. To 'fucking stop it'. He hated the kicked puppy look. the gentle words that felt like poison to Tomura's ears, because who does All Might think he is? Tomura Shigaraki is still a villain. Tenko Shimura is dead. When he spat that out, All Might's resolve hardened, and he began a more traditional interrogation. At that point, Tomura couldn't have answered even if he'd wanted to. He still can't speak, now. They obviously don't know that. It’s a weakness he’s not just going to admit to.

Tomura’s head jerks up when a set of steps actually stops outside the door. He shakes a loose strand of hair out of his face, hating that he can’t even brush them aside himself. Who is it this time? The detective with the lie detector quirk again? Or someone who can actually force Tomura to speak? How far are these heroes willing to go?

But the door opens, and it’s the one person Tomura can’t help but be shocked to see. Eraserhead.

Tired-looking as always, the scar underneath his eye a new addition from when Tomura last saw him in person. What’s he doing here? Tomura wishes he could ask. Instead, he just settles for a somewhat confused glare.

Eraserhead looks him up and down, expression unreadable. All underground heroes must have good poker faces, Tomura thinks. He wishes he had that ability. Tomura is not a good liar. He never needed to be.

“When’s the last time you had something to drink?” Eraserhead asks, hands moving to sign along, and, okay, is he here to play good cop? Playing off the begrudging respect Tomura has for him?

Tomura doesn’t move. He keeps glaring. Eraserhead sighs and approaches the table, dropping down in the chair opposite Tomura. He fumbles with a pouch on his belt for a moment, and eventually pulls out a juice box. It’s almost enough to make Tomura laugh at the absurdity - it’s the same brand Kurogiri buys. Eraserhead stabs the straw through the little hole on top and pushes it over on the table. Tomura looks down at the juice box, then up at him. He is thirsty. His throat is dry enough that swallowing hurts a little, and the sugar in the juice will definitely be helpful, and when the League comes to break him out, he’ll need to be in the best shape he can hope for. 

He sinks down in his seat the best he can, and stretches his head forward until he can catch the straw between his lips. It’s still humiliating, though better than someone holding it for him, and he looks anywhere but Eraserhead as he empties the juice box within seconds.

“Well, that’s a start.” Eraserhead slumps in his seat and sighs, sounding very world-weary. Tomura knows the man is only in his early thirties, but he seems to have been aging rapidly lately. That’s probably due to Tomura’s own actions. He wonders what Eraserhead sees when he looks at him. A victim to be saved, like All Might apparently thinks? Just a too skinny kid who is in over his head? Or is he actually smart enough to understand that Tomura doesn’t want, doesn’t need saving? That Tomura is the monster they should all be afraid of and he lives for it?

Maybe Eraserhead sees a little bit of both. Those eyes of his are very sharp. Tomura should have had the noumu take them, back at the USJ. Then his quirk wouldn’t have been a problem anymore either.

“I’d love to know what you’re thinking,” Eraserhead tells him, voice dry as Compress’ favored liquor.

Tomura raises a brow at him. Shrugs. Looks away.

Eraserhead is silent for a little while. The seconds tick by, though Tomura can’t be sure that his count is correct. There’s no clock in here. No window, either, of course. He has no way of telling how long he’s really been here. If he ends up falling asleep eventually, he’ll be completely lost. Hopefully his rescue comes before that.

“... Shigaraki,” Eraserhead says finally, slowly, “If you wanted to talk to me right now, would you be able to?”

Oh. Oh, no. Tomura knows they're being watched, but he doesn’t know how the detective’s quirk works, if he can detect a lie when it’s just communicated through a gesture... but even if he can’t... Tomura nodding right now would kind of prove Eraserhead’s point, wouldn’t it? So he sighs and gives a jerky shake of his head.

Eraserhead nods, clearly Tomura just confirmed what he suspected. Because unlike most heroes, Eraserhead actually has the brains to back up his quirk and fighting skills. "Detective, I'm going to need the key to those cuffs."

There's a crackle from the speaker in the corner of the room. "That doesn't seem like a wise idea."

Ah, arguing right in front of him. Tomura smiles lazily, even though he hates having his face exposed like this. They took Father and the others, of course. He's going to have to find them before they leave.

"I'll erase his quirk if he tries anything. You want him to communicate, don't you?" Eraserhead asks, a tad snappy.

There's a long pause, then the door opens and the detective steps through. He doesn't take his eyes off of Tomura, even as he hands Eraserhead a single, tiny key. Tomura returns his gaze with an outward calm that he's not feeling at all. He can't make them go back on this decision, he wants so desperately to have his hands free so he can scratch that incessant itch that's been growing worse and worse with each passing minute.

"You're going to let me take these off you without trying anything, right?" Eraserhead asks. They have no replacement cuffs, but those would be a farce anyway, wouldn't they? And if they want Tomura to sign, he'll need greater range than a standard set of them would allow him. He rolls his eyes and nods, presenting his folded hands to the hero. The detective watches for another moment or two, then steps back out, undoubtedly to continue observing.

It takes a little fumbling on Eraserhead's part to get the cuffs off, with all their little moving pieces, and he's either being very careful so he won't hurt himself on accident, or, less likely, so he won't hurt Tomura. Tomura's own eyes drift to his elbow and he wonders about the massive scar that must be hidden underneath that sleeve.

Finally, his hands are free, and gently glowing red eyes turn to his face.

Tomura ignores him for the time being in order to scratch at his neck, deep and thorough until he tears skin.

Eraserhead makes an aborted movement, as if to stop him, but then seems to change his mind, fist clenched atop the table. Good. If he wants Tomura coherent, he'll need to let him fight off the onset of another episode that's been looming for a while.

"Did All for One teach you sign language because of your nonverbal phases?" Eraserhead asks. It makes Tomura very aware of the fact that he doesn't usually do interrogations. This is none of the usual bullshit, talking around the point for ages. This is blunt and straight to the point.

Tomura gives a headshake.

Eraserhead waits, expectant.

Tomura thinks the hero is lucky he's bored and his is an innocent line of questioning and he actually respects Eraserhead. That's why he pulls his hand away from his neck and signs 'Sensei doesn't speak sign.'

"Who taught you, then?" Immediate, no hesitation. Why does he want to know this, of all things? Literally anything else would be more important. He may as well be asking how Tomura got so proficient at darts.

He sighs, and spells it out. 'K-U-R-O-G-I-R-I'

Eraserhead's brows draw together. "He taught you things? How long has he been around?"

Tomura presses his lips together and glares. Like hell is he giving them anything on the rest of the League. Especially Kurogiri.

The hero sighs. "Look, kid." Tomura scoffs.

"... Shigaraki. Back at the USJ, you used a name for me that's different from my official hero name. It's a name very few people know."

Now it's Tomura's turn to frown. He knows what the separate signs of Eraserhead's name mean, of course, and he's often thought they were odd, but seeing as his own sign name is also anything but villainous he didn't think he had room to judge.

'Your sign name?' he asks, 'Eraserhead?'

"No." The hero shakes his head and makes a series of signs. "Eraserhead." He then repeats the signs Tomura just used. "Shouta."

Oh. Well, that's awkward. Tomura gets the entirely absurd urge to apologize.

Having his sign name used by an enemy who very nearly killed him must be pretty uncomfortable for Eraser. Tomura would never want his enemies to know his own. It's private, and it was a gift that Kurogiri gave him. Even the rest of the League doesn't know it, they only know the one Tomura made up for himself, reusing the name of his quirk for it.

'Not many people know?' Tomura questions.

Eraserhead huffs. "Do I look like the kind of person who goes around sharing information like that?" Probably not, no.

Tomura nods. 'That's why you're here?'

"There's a lot that's odd about you, ki- Shigaraki. A lot that doesn't add up. This, in particular, is something that's been causing me some problems."

Oh.

Oh. Tomura can't help the laugh that breaks out of him, his voice returning only for the giggles that shake his shoulders. Eraserhead thought one of his trusted few had betrayed him. Had given the information to Tomura. That's too good. He almost wants to make him keep believing it. Or even tell him a lie, but, again, the detective is on the other side of the two-way mirror.

"I'm glad this is funny to you," Eraserhead says dryly, "Care to let me in on the joke?"

Tomura is still giggling when he signs, and maybe that's why he makes the mistake.

'Kurogiri taught me,' he says, 'But good to know I created some mistrust among you.'

Eraserhead is frozen in his seat. Even his quirk is inactive now, as Tomura suddenly realizes. He's held out pretty long. His eyes have got to hurt. Maybe Tomura can make him overextend himself. But there's too many guns nearby. Tranquilizers, no doubt. He wouldn't get very far, even if a kill or two would be satisfying.

'Can I have another juice box?' he asks, just to be difficult.

Eraserhead jerks out of his stupor. "Who... who did you say taught you?"

Did Tomura use Kurogiri's sign name on accident? Huh.

'K-U-R-O-G-I-R-I. Sign name: Kurogiri.' His hands form 'fluffy' and 'cloud' like they have a hundred thousand times. It's a cutesy name for someone who is not cutesy at all. But so is 'Dust Bunny' and so is 'Sleepy Cat'.

Eraserhead takes a shaky breath. His fingers are trembling when he signs 'Fluffy Cloud' himself. "Oboro," he says, "That's... what that... who that name belongs to. Shirakumo Oboro." He looks like he's very far away, but at the same time couldn't be more in the moment. He's pale, but his eyes are focused and dark. "Shigaraki. Tell me about Kurogiri."

It's in that moment that the door gets blown into pieces by a blast of blue flames.

And the shouting and running and destruction that follow don't really give them much more room for idle chit-chat.