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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

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Jack Bass x Younger!Reader || Oneshot

Title: Bass's.

Notes:

I have no idea when this is supposed to be set. Just go with it.

I have two things to say about Jack in this gif, though. 1. Does he not know how to carry a tray. And 2. I love this statement, here. Its like 'Bart's Dead, Chuck. I can barely contain my joy, Chuck. Its taking all my willpower, Chuck, to keep a monotonous expression. Also Chuck I am carrying a tray, do you see this?'

Plot: Bart Bass decides to be his creepy fucking self (Not that Jack is exponentially better in any way but whatever) towards you, Chuck's best friend- but thankfully, Jack accidentally walks in on the scene and gives you a get out of jail free card.

Good old 'lesser of two evils' shit. I love stuff like that.

Warnings: BART BASS being predatory, and a bit of age difference (You and Jack. I'm going by actors ages though so there's only a, like, 11 year age gap between him and Chuck which is not that bad if you ask me). Sexual references.

~~~

Chuck looks from his phone, that's flashing Blairs name, to you and your big, wide eyes and lips mouthing 'Don't you dare', then to his father quietly tapping away on his phone on the couch a few feet away... then back at his phone.

"Charles- " You hiss, prepared to threaten his very existence but he cuts you off first- slipping off the bar stool beside you and heading for the hallway.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Why am I friends with him again!? You think, but stay quiet and hope that Bart doesn't realise that you're back there despite having said hello to you earlier when he came in. You think, if you stay quiet like a mouse, he will forget your existence and keep texting until Chuck gets back- although, who knows how long he and Blair can go on for.

Depends what its about, honestly. If its about revenge or espionage... well, the conversation could last quite some time.

Should I just leave?

The impulse to run away is a strong one, as you sit there with your cheeks heating up and you start to feel nauseated. You never liked Bart Bass, from the moment you met him. Before that, actually. You had heard Chuck talking about him to Nate before you even became friends with them, and none of what you heard was good. And then you did meet him, one day when Chuck invited you over to do a school project. Or 'school project' as he so obnoxiously put it. You really did end up just doing a school project, though. Hence your friendship nowadays. Bart was creepy towards you even then, at 16 with terribly died hair and the wrong eyeshadow.

You've been very careful since then to never be alone with him like this. You would talk to him at parties if you were forced to, say hello to him when Chuck had you at his place and the man walked by, but that is the extent of your communication with the creep. Always, always, someone would be around. Chuck, mostly. But also staff, or Nate, or random fundraiser ladies, or Jack who Chuck the bastard never left alone with all willy-nilly like this, unfortunately, or Lily, or literally anyone else possible on the earth.

You've even hidden away in the men's bathroom, which is disgusting no matter how expensive the restaurant, with Nate before to get away from this man when Chuck once ditched you both at a dinner with him. And that's the story of how you got your first kiss, too, and it was from Nate Archibald. Hell yes.

That's how much this man makes you want to grab your bag and flee.

But you don't. You stay glued to your seat, super still, listening only to the tap-tap-tapping noises that Bart makes and the bump-bump-bump noises your heart is making right into your throbbing ears.

Until it stops.

Not the bump-bump-bumping, oh no. The tapping. And, nightmarishly, it's replaced by a groan and footsteps coming towards your turned back.

"Y/N," As soon as he says your name, his hands fall on your your shoulders and you literally jump under his touch. Shit- Shit- Fuck- what's happening- "I've been meaning to speak with you recently but Chuck- ah. Well you know him. He refused to share with me your telephone number. But I knew you'd turn up here at some point, so not to worry."

"Uh... right." You cant even force yourself to be your normal, cheery, polite self in this position. You just want him to get. off. of. you.

"Did you want a drink?" He asks, in that possibly cheery (But only because its slightly louder then his usual husk level) but mostly still scary voice he uses to convey emotion, letting go of you thankfully and rounding to the other side of the bar. You shake your head, though. He raises his brows, picking out a scotch for himself. "You don't drink? Shocking, seeing as you're friends with my son."

Oh I drink. You think, giving him a shrug. Just not in situations like this one. Also, what must he think of Chuck? Jesus Christ. For sure, your boy likes debauchery but what's wrong with that?

"Well, I like that." Bart pauses before pouring his drink, to appreciate you. "Mature."

Damn it. It makes your skin absolutely crawl.

"So... " You take a deep breath, tucking your hair back behind your ears rather then ruffling it back like you usually would to get it out of your face- lest that be recognised as some kind of extremely subtle form of flirting. God, fear makes you think weird things. "What did you want to discuss?"

"Oh- Just, your future. Where are you going to school? Will you be sticking close to us?"

Us? US? No, I'll be far far away, from you.

You don't really want to tell Bart where you're going to be going to school, because in your fear addled brain you know that that will just lead to 'Which campus?', or 'Where will you be staying?' and you really don't want it to go there.

You're just taking another, shakier deep breath, when the front door of the apartment opens and shuts loudly and set of feet trample down the hallway towards you. Immediately total relief plashes over you and you wipe your face. Oh, thank god.

Jack Bass appears in the doorway to the living room, looking as put-together yet somehow simultaneously still totally relaxed, as always, and forces aa polite smile onto his handsome face. "Brother. Y/N? Its good to see you."

You have no idea. "Good to see you too Jack. Uh- Chuck's in the bathroom."

"Thanks. For that... enlightening, information, Y/N. I needed that." You cheeks flare up in embarrassment, but ultimately you just roll your eyes as Jack flashes you a subtle wink, and turns promptly to his - much, - older brother. "Bart."

The older brother in question looks less then pleased at his baby brothers appearance in his home. Right now. And he possibly isn't thrilled about that little wink, either. Like you two are in on some kind of joke together. "Jack... What are you doing here?"

"Simmer down, bro. Just visiting." Even you know that that excuse is weak, but anything that comes out Jack's own monotonous voice right now is blessed where you're concerned so you certainly don't say anything. Or make any faces, which would be more appropriate. "Y/N, I don't think Bart-man here's too happy about my presence." Hm, no. You'd have to agree with that observation- not that you've looked up at Bart since Jack came in. You wont risk it. Jack glides through the room with the practised grace of a man who's lived 3 quarters of his life in suits and the other, happier quarter in board shorts, and ends up right next to your chair, an arm resting on the bench in front of you.

If you weren't already so nervous about Bart, you would blush about Jack.

"At least tell me you're glad to see me."

You grin, which is less forced then you thought it would be prior to trying it. Damn, he's good. You think, realising he just swepped in here and made you comfortable in less then 50 words. "Always, 'Uncle Jack'."

"Oh," He groans, like it physically pained him to hear you tease him like that. A tiny smirk even slips through his usually emotionless - well, not emotionless. He has one standing colour, that being sly, - stone statue of a face. "'Uncle Jack'- Please, stop. I'm barely a decade older then you."

That's enough to make anything else possible, inappropriate. Unfortunately. "Hey, I said I'm glad to see you." You wink, a bit sly yourself. "Count your blessings."

His grin widens a bit, like the dangerously charming Cheshire cat-type that he is. Genes that Chuck inherited, clearly, if his track record with girls say anything at all, but that Bart obviously missed out on. "You've got a point."

"She's a remarkable young woman." Bart pipes up, making your stomach tie itself up in knots again, and you immediately revert your gaze to your lap. Remarkable young woman... you want to barf. "Who, I was actually having a conversation with before you burst in here, unannounced." He takes a slow sip of his drink, then mutters. "And uninvited."

"Well that's great." Jack straightens up, clapping his hands together and finally showing his teeth in a smile. They're really freaken white, compared to his skin, deeply tanned by the hot Australian sun. "A visit would be kinda uncomfortable without a conversation; I'll join. I can converse with the best of 'em, Bart. I assure you."

"It was private." The old man sneers, thinking that he's got the upper hand on Jack, and all you can do is hope to god that he's wrong.

Jack turns his head back to look at you, and you meet his gaze tentatively. Your eyes scream, 'Please don't leave me alone with that guy'. He promptly looks back to Bart. "Well Bart why don't we ask the lady in the room what she wants? We are gentlemen here aren't we?" Then Jack makes a face, all crumpled up and unsure, for a moment. "Err. Well actually... 'gentleman' might be a bold faced lie. We'll ask anyway. Y/N! Do you mind if I weigh in here?"

"Not at all." You say quickly, flashing a tiny, thankful smile. He gives you another wink- this time actually subtle. So Bart didn't see it. Your smile gets a little bit bigger, relaxing. He's got you.

"Great." You watch him pull out the stool beside you, that Chuck - who has still not returned from his phone call with Blair. You assume some, likely cruel vengeance must be involved. Possibly involving that Humphrey guy, - had vacated and settles down in it. He then sets his arms firmly on the bench and looks up attentively at Bart, not breaking eye contact with him. Boy these Bass's like their stare downs. "So?" He prompts, expectantly. And a little arrogantly- a Bass speciality that you truly don't mind at all. "What's on the agenda, today?"

Bart glares heatedly, back.

Throughout the awkward discussion between the three of you, which your good friend Chuck has yet to return to discover - at this point you're resigned to him having climbed out the window and scaled the building probably, - , Jack constantly, skilfully changes the subject for you whenever Bart rears to close to somewhere uncomfortable. He makes jokes that make you laugh, he nudges you with his elbow at times - but never touches you any more then that, although you honestly wouldn't mind it if he did, - and takes the attention off you a lot. At times you truly thought you saw steam come out of Bart's ears.

When finally Bart gives up and excuses himself, saying he as an early dinner with Lily, you feel exhausted and relieved. After the door swings shut behind him, you cover your face with your hands and deeply sigh.

"So, what was that about? You looked like a trapped mouse. I recognise that look, I invented that look." You pull back slightly from your hands and glance over at him, to see him thoughtful for a moment. "Well, not by making it. By... causing... it... Either way, it was not good." He shakes his head, taking a sip of his own drink - scotch, - that he made Bart pour for him; Raising his eyebrows at you for an explanation over the rim of the glass.

Jack's always been great, like this. Even when he was horrible, he was the lesser of two evils between him and Bart. Good for a laugh and quality eye candy in a pinch- and that counts for a hell of a lot when it comes to surviving Bart Bass and the Upper East Side. And he had the power and pull of an adult, but knew what the hell was going on like one of you.

So he always made you feel at ease.

You ruffle your hair back, and sigh, straightening your back finally from their hunched over position they live in when you're uncomfortable and pushing back your shoulders. "He was just, saying some weird stuff... and Chuck disappeared to talk to Blair." At that, Jack nods in total understanding. Like ah, yeah. Got ya. Finally, you shrug. "He just makes me really uncomfortable. No offence, but I hate your brother."

As you watch Jack's eyes don't even flicker; He's totally on board with what you've said. Then he finishes the rest of his scotch in one gulp. "Ahh- I hate him too."

"As do we all." Chuck's voice suddenly pops up, as he appears in the doorway like Jack had earlier. You have to practice some serious self control so as to not laugh, at Chuck so coincidentally turning up again at the perfect moment to proclaim his hatred for his father. Jack grins back at Chuck coldly, nodding. Yeah. "Anyway, Y/N, I apologise but I'll be having to abandon you. Blair's waiting for me at her, empty, apartment." He pauses for a moment for dramatic effect, in perfect Chuck Bass fashion, and you roll your eyes, grinning. Jack smirks. "But you're welcome to stick around a while and help yourself to the amenities All on my tab, of course. Good to see you again, Jack." Then he pockets his phone and heads toward the door. The second Bass of the day leaves the building.

"Bye, nephew!" Jack waives as the elevator doors close behind Chuck then swiftly turns around back to you, to which you raise your eyebrows. "So, what do we do now?"

"I dunno." Shrugging you grin and turn your stool to angle your legs towards Jack. "When Chuck says those magical words 'All on my tab'," Those words, oh; You speak them with just as much raw, breathy sexual arousal as the man himself would. As the words demand. 'All on my tab'. Good lord, sex if they were words. "I tend to take advantage."

"An easy girl to please; That's what I like to see." Your cheeks flame up at those words out of Jack's mouth as he turns to look down at the room service menu. Yes, Jack Bass has toed the line, between platonic and flirtatious since the very moment you met the man... but that seemed a little bit more then toeing the line.

And you get a far different reaction to him doing it then you do the other Bass brother.

You don't even really mind the implications of his words.

"You're staying back with me?" You ask, feeling hopeful at the idea.

"Yeah well, I cant in, uh, good conscience," He makes a bit of a show to you, of pressing his hand to his chest totally earnestly as those words 'good conscience' come out of his mouth. "leave you here unguarded in case Bart comes back, can I? Besides, the way you said 'All on my tab'- man, you could sell moonshine at an AA meeting with that voice."

"Ha," You laugh, rolling your eyes and shaking your head. "Well, thanks."

"Oh. Don't thank me. You're just using what uh, your mama gave you. I actually encourage you totally, to do that more often- "

"No!" You exclaim, sighing in exasperation; But there is still a smile on your face you cant seem to shake. "For not leaving, today. When you walked in. It would've sucked if you had, not that I would've blamed you at all."

"Hey, just call me your knight in shining armour." He doesn't look up from the menu, flicking through it. Then turns to you with one of those beach boy/politician, toothless grins of his. "Besides you were automatically, my favourite person in the apartment. I mean, anyone with... uhhh- different, appendages to what I have, instantly gets a one-way ticket access to my rare bouts of chivalry. Now come over here, pick out what you want off here."

You just gape at him and that comment, making him stifle a laugh and return to the menu himself.

Bass's.

#Jack Bass #Jack Bass x Reader #Gossip Girl Jack Bass x Reader #Jack bass x Reader Oneshot #Bart Bass #Chuck Bass #Oneshot #Gossip Girl #Gossip Girl x Reader

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yoichichi · 4 years

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Pretty People Supremacy Playlist 🖤

for my angel @1010andneji , I hope you love it 🖤

disclaimers: fem!reader, because this a request for someone with she/her pronouns, I believe the reader is referred to as she/her a few times, Kenma is aged up and this is based in him attending University just to be clear‼️

warning: it gets a little saucy in the make out department ?

gif not mine, credit to owner

a/n: ahhhhh!!! I’m sorry this took so long and I really hope you like it and you felt like it was worth the wait! Please let me know if you need me to change anything ‼️ i luv you bae 😔✊🏼 also thank you to my wife @ikigaitooru for helping me choose your matchup here! I was stuck between one other person but we ultimately decided on Kenma, we both believe he exhibits prime quiet himbo energy :) also I kind of went off and wrote a lot on this one 😶 sorry I think? Regardless, I hope you enjoy!!!

Relationship Headcannons

Ok so ultimately, I paired you together NOT just cause you thinks he’s pretty but I think you guys would be so good together!! Like you would be so good for him

You guys would balance each other out socially and just be the best pair to hang out with pleaseee

He knows he can be stupid and chaotic with you and you know you can let yourself wind down with him!!

Kenma CAN be blunt sometimes so I’m sure he’d have to catch onto your sensitivity at first, but he’d be so sincere if he ever accidentally said or did anything that made you feel some type of way

And once he is aware of your sensitivity he’s constantly reassuring you in little ways, not only that he understands and is trying to comfort you but just to reassure you he loves you, for example :

HAND SQUEEZES

I know some people have mentioned that he wouldn’t be into PDA but I disagree! It’s just not in the conventional let me be all over you types of PDA

I feel like it’s just not a big deal to him cause he’s like 🤨 what do I have to be embarrassed for?? This my mf baby and I’m gonna hold her hand if I want to ??

Like, I see him as a big hand holder frfr

He would just see it as such an easy way to be physically close to you and even if that’s just holding pinky’s he’s down!

It would also help him if he’s feeling anxious!

Like he’d fiddle with your hands and fingers if he’s feeling particularly antsy or nervous

You guys are out and he wants to go in a different direction? He’s definitely bringing your hand to his lips to give a quick peck and pull you along

“C’mon, let’s look over here”

AND HES SO NONCHALANT ABOUT IT TOO LIKE HE JUST DOESNT QUITE REALIZE THE EFFECT HE HAS ON YOU WHEN HE DOES THAT (he totally does but he likes to be slick and act like he doesn’t 🙄)

He would also DEFINITELY let you play with his hands if you’re nervous or bored or whatever reason honestly, he’d find it soothing and knows it occupies you or fills a need (and you get to look at pretty Kenma hands c’mon now)

ANYWAYS there are other little ways he’d reassure you too besides hand squeezes and holding

Definitely the type to leave you little notes in places for you to find them and they’d always say such simple things like “hi- kenma <3” LMAOOOO PLS HES TRYING HIS BEST

I think the final biggest way he’d love to reassure you would be words of affirmation (this is definitely a private thing)

I think he’d still deliver them in a blunt manner but that’s how you know he’s sincere!

You two would just be chilling at his place and you’d do something simple like, ask how much water he’s drank today or play with his hair and tell him he shouldn’t overwork himself and he’d just look at you so seriously and be like, “I really appreciate you, you know that?”

And it’d be sort of deadpan but like !!!

And he’d just kiss your hand after - always the palm - and then he’d just press his cheek into your hand before kissing it one more time and moving on like that literally just didn’t happen KENMA KING OF HAND KISSES

Okok moving on before I get stuck on his hands again anskdkdksiaj

So we don’t talk about himbo Kenma enough!!!! Like ok

He’s NOT big and ripped like ya know Bokuto and he seems super smart but I’m telling you this man is a quiet clueless himbo ‼️

You can’t tell me you’d be talking on and on about biology or something and he’d just have this little lost look in his eye while he’s nodding along and smiling softly listening to you talk and you’re like ,,??

“Wait, do you even understand what I’m saying?”

And he’d really just be like no :)

“but your eyes are really pretty and I like watching your lips move while you talk :) (this man is also a king of innocent flirting and you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)

OMG and if you’re even the slightest bit flustered by his comment he WILL notice and he’ll do his best to hide his sly little smile and just grab one of your hands and squeeze it and be like, “keep going, I’m listening”

KENMA HIMBO NATION RISE

Ok ALSO you two would literally just be such a pretty couple? Just like so pleasing to look at????? Like you’re both so pretty it’s unfair! And your style OMG

Like you’re just so soft like the epitome of 🦋✨👼☁️☺️ girl and 🎮🎱🖤👾🌙 boy ykwim???

and his long hair PLS Kenma man bun supremacy 🙌🏼

I can’t stress enough how pretty you two would be it would just make sense seeing you two together ugh

UGH you dying Kenmas hair for him?? And he’d just sit cross legged in a chair while you do it and he keeps leaning and moving to wherever you are around him cause your hands are in his hair and it’s so soothing!! What’s he supposed to do??

“Kenma, stay still you’re gonna bet bleach on my shirt!”

“But didn’t you wear that in case bleach did get on it?”

“Kenma-“

“I’m just saying if that’s the case then I don’t understand why I can’t hug you while you bleach my hair? 🤨”

“😐”

“Ok so-“

“Kenma.”

“😒”

Yeah queue pouty Kenma acting indifferent 🙄✋🏼

Just give him a kiss on his nose and he’ll get over it even though he’ll feign his grumpiness to get treated like a baby a little bit longer

UGH PLS I GOTTA STOP I COULD GO ON FOREVER

Bottom line, Kenma’s your quiet little himbo and you’re his loud soft girlfriend, and it’s one of the most adorable things ever

Ok, so we’re finally to what you came for LMAO, your playlist!

OKOK so similar to the first one I made, there’s no theme besides music taste so I tried to make this like a soundtrack of your guys relationship if that makes sense?

I really hope you enjoy and please let me know if you need any changes or would like to be paired up with someone else 🖤‼️ Without further ado, your songs and explanations!

1. Siren - Kailee Morgue: ok I think this one still kind of fits the vibe you’re looking for but you can’t tell me Kenma didn’t see you as some bewitching vixen who’s caught his attention LMAO like he’s just like 👁👄👁 she’s so pretty and entrancing help me! and he’d try to be like haha I’m cool I’m cool I’m fine 😎🥴😎 but it’s so obvious he likes you too (you’d kind of be able to tell with the way he looks at you and how it took so long for the blush to leave his neck and ears whenever he’d talk to you) but he just really decides he has no choice in the matter, he wants you so bad LMAO

2. Juice - iyla: more off the first one, the way you just appeared into Kenmas life LMAO like he saw you and just 😳🥴😍‼️ and once he started to feel real feelings he’d be so 🏃‍♂️💨 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE COME FROM??? But he wants you so BAD he can’t do anything about it, and now not only does he just want you 😳 but he wants you and he wants to be yours , pls he has it hard

3. See You Again (feat. Kali Uchis) - Tyler, The Creator: ok this is like THE song to your guys relationship just UGH I know you two would have such pining. Kenma would DEFINITELY be nervous to even talk to you at first cause he’s definitely like 🥴 she’s prettt hhng and he’s so shy and you just have such HEART EYES over him and you don’t even hide it that well LMAO (“it’s them rose colored cheeks yeah it’s them dirt colored eyes 😔😩”- u @ him) and it just makes him so NERVOUS!! But you two would definitely dance around it for a bit like you’d just be so 😍‼️ He’s pretty and shy hehe I like him gimme gimme 😍 and he’d be so flustered by it at first until you guys FINALLY get over yourselves (when kenma stops being a baby LMAO) like you guys jus wanna kiss so bad and literally everyone’s like JUST FUCKING DO IT, SHIT it’s adorable really

4. Doves In The Wind (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - SZA: ok I know this song is kinda saucy an idk if it’s overplayed but listen YOU CANT TELL ME THIS ISNT KENMAS FUCKING ANTHEM!! like he jus absolutely jams to this song definitely a sza stan and loves playing vibey music like hers during his gaming sessions but like the way he would worship the ground you walk on and be like mf im HERS do not get it twisted, in no way does she belong to me buT THE WAY I BELONG TO HER WHEW ‼️

5. Moment - Victoria Monét: ok why do I feel like most of the songs I added on here are vaguely steamy LMAO but ok this song? Yeah whew 💨 this is definitely one of those songs that play while you two would be lazily making out with those little led lights on (you just know kenma has those) and you two would just be laying there and know this is one of those moments you guys are never gonna forget. Your hands are just roaming and caressing each other while your lips are locked and you guys are so breathless and it’s just wow, you guys must have manifested each other cause this moment is so perfect between you two. And even though it’s a little sloppy it’s so intimate and you both feel like you’re living in a dream. messy hair flushed Kenma whos breathing heavy? Yeah I think so

6. Deep Cuts - Healy: Kenma is always trying his hardest to be the best he can when he loves something. We know this we’ve all seen him and Tora when it comes to volleyball and the way he gets with Hinata. And this wouldn’t change when it comes to your guys relationship, he is constantly going to be putting in his best effort to get to know you better, be the best boyfriend he can be to you and make you feel as loved as he can. He’s memorized everything there is to know about you and sometimes he gets lost in that and it makes him insecure about himself from his overthinking (you can’t tell me he’s not a chronic overthinker) and he’d forget to just enjoy himself sometimes. Like Kenma stop stressing, you can relax when you hold her hand. But he’d reach this point with you when he’d probably be being a bit difficult and you’d just make him feel so loved. He had been overworking himself again, which you HATED. You could tell from the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was messily pulled back into a low bun and the way the neckline of his hoodie showed he wasn’t even wearing a shirt underneath. But it was date night!! So what if he was tired and overworked quality time is important to you!!! I mean, that’s what he’s thinking. But you would just pull him into a hug and kiss his forehead and start to undress into comfy clothes and he’d be so confused like ?? Uhm, date night?? And you’d just pull him to your shared bed by his sleeve and under the covers and into your arms while you just kissed the top of his head. You’d take his hair out of his bun and run your fingers through it getting rid of some of the tangles and just be so CARING to him. “Let’s just stay in, you’re tired and I’d rather lay with you while you get some sleep, we can always go out another time.” Yeah he’s in love that’s it ‼️ you make him feel like he’s exactly enough for you as he is and that’s all he wants pls tbis is so long and for what??? Like this could be a Drabble in itself??? Anyways

7. Easy - DaniLeigh: you guys are definitely an exclusive couple but you really show Kenma what it means to just take it slow and relax! After the date night (deep cuts) he knows it’s ok to just relax into your guys love and he doesn’t have to force or rush anything cause it all comes naturally. Secondly , the WAY THIS BOY MAKES YOU FEEL - he just always looks at you with these deep eyes that hold so much love and it makes you feel so exposed every time cause he just loves you so much and it’s so intense l. It makes your face heat up cause he so clearly thinks your perfect. Also, this just gives total late night ride vibes. Kenma would definitely be driving on the freeway and this song comes on and he just places his hand on your thigh while he’s driving and he’s humming along to this song and he can feel you staring at him so he just casts you a quick side glance and goes “hmmm?” And you’re like 👁👄👁 nothing (Kenma is the king of late night car ride music fr)

8. CPR - Summer Walker: ok I don’t even need to explain myself with this one, the song is so self explanatory! You just make each other feel so at home. Point blank ‼️ like Kenma will just think back like 😇 where would I be without this bitch the thought makes him truly sad and he likes to avoid it at all costs

9. Rain - Lucy Park: pls this song is so soft (I hope it fits the vibe ahhh!!) but this is just more of kenma being an absolute softy for you LMAO. He’s not very good at taking care of himself sometimes and you’re always there to be like 😡‼️ NO‼️ and it makes him so soft he can’t help it, it’s not that he does it on purpose cause that’s insane but the fact you know his limits when even he doesn’t sometimes blows his mind and he’s never felt more loved than in those moments (let’s bring up Deep Cuts again 🙄✋🏼 pls this boy just needs someone soft to put him in his place LOL)

10. moonlight - dhruv: ok but when Kenma knows he’s in love with you, he has to tell you. And what better way to tell you than, well, tell you. He’d definitely try to plan it in his head to be perfect like ok what’s her favorite place? Where’d we first meet? Should I tell her there? Should our song be playing in the background? Kenma, your himbo and over thinker tendencies are showing, just tell her already! It’d be early in the morning, and you two are making breakfast together while he’s listening to you ramble on about the recent events of your favorite show and he’s just smiling and nodding, doing his best to recall the other plot points that have happened. And you, distracted with your ranting, go to take a bite of your freshly made breakfast- which is still scalding hot. You IMMEDIATELY start panting and drop your fork, running over to the faucet and shoving your head under it doing your best to soothe your mouth with the cold water. And Kenma feels awful, but this is fucking hilarious. So sure he’s holding your hair back so you can really get that water but he’s dying in the process. Almost keeled over and gripping at his stomach type laughter and you’re swatting at him to no avail and he just can’t help himself, “oh, fuck I love you.” He said it between his gasps of air from laughing and didn’t even realize it. Not until you stood up fully with water still dripping off your chin just looking at him. This idiot immediately started apologizing like omg this isn’t how I wanted to say it ahhhh but you assure him this was perfect, and that you love him too (pls love this man he can’t help but love you too)

11. Easily - Bruno Major: does this count as angst? ok call back to Kenma being an overthinker who overworks himself and probably overlooks his own needs at times, there’s bound to be some tension between you two at times. You’re concerned about his health and he insists he’s fine but you know he’s not, and while I don’t ever see him blowing up on you I could see little arguments about his self-care habits. Sometimes he stays up too late, or he’s stressing himself over something that doesn’t need that much thought! Regardless, he knows you just love him and he does the same thing for you and he just needs to get better at not being so stubborn when it comes to taking care of himself. And he just hopes that you know he loves you and appreciates what you do for him even though it doesn’t seem like it all the time, and that hopefully you won’t give up on him.

12. Streets - Doja Cat: ok I added this one mainly for the vibes but like you can’t tell me Kenma isn’t pined over in university LMAO. Like he’s pretty and polite but also indifferent, mentally ill bitches eat that shit UP; and there’s PLENTY of those in university LMAO. And like you aren’t a toxic possessive person don’t worry but MAN he’s fighting these girls off with a stick at this point LMAO and he just doesn’t get it pls, like he’d definitely be the partner in an assignment who just comes prepared and is kind of quiet to a fault but is so nice and just gets his shit done. Would also offer a pencil if you forgot one and maybe I’m just a whore but that gets me everytime 😌

13. Kiss U Right Now - Duckwrth: ok mainly for the vibes but !!! You and Kenma in the kitchen cooking and this song comes on and he comes up behind you and turns you around and your faces are all close and he keeps singing “I think I wanna kiss u” and smirking but he’s just ghosting his lips over yours instead and moving his head back every time you try to kiss him and giggling before doing it all over again! giggly Kenma supremacy

14. Butterfly - UMI: ok we been talking about how much Kenma would be devoted to you, but like you wouldn’t be the same!!!! Kenma means so much to you and you do your best to show your care and all you wanna do is see him happy as much as he wants the same for you, omg you guys are so in love it’s gross 🤢

15. Pick Up Your Phone - Hojean: what more can I say!!! You guys just love each other and love spending as much time together as you can!! (I like ending these playlists with a really happy mood :) )

——————

Here it is! Thank you for being so patient and I really hope you like this! I always get nervous posting for my baby’s 🖤 love you cutie!

-🐇out

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyu requests #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu playlist #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu kenma #kenma x y/n #kenma x you #kenma hcs #kenma kuzome #kozume kenma #kenma x reader #kenma playlist

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springfieldblues · 4 years

Text

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

#if you read all of this bless you #the imageless gdocs version of this is 8 pages long #hope you...enjoy?!?! these art history fun facts?!?!#dont let me do something like this again but also let me know if i should do something like this again #i was really only motivated to do this because im already passionate about the subject so idk if i could do it otherwise #anyway. this took me all day yesterday because the power kept going out #but im finally done #bye

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definitelynotcesia · 3 years

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good eve! submission to my loml abt my theories that i shook off of my brain. pls this is only for cesia because i accidentally said too many things here hehe.

warning: whatever i said here are just merely theories and they might be wrong so read with utmost discretion.

it's been a while since i have even heard from you

And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I

Know exactly where it leads, but I

Watch us go 'round and 'round each time

here,, i looked at this as if i am either taehyun or yn. but lets say this is more likely to be yn because she's the one who knows and is aware of everything that's happening. yn has this sofi the bitch situation right?and knowing yn she might think that she should stop this rekindled connection with taehyun since yea sofi but this verse gives me the hope that our yn will keep this connection going this time?? like she would have this yea fuck it let's keep this yn x taehyun conversation instead of sunny x taehyun (since sofi is pretending to be sunny now. eww) situation. i think yn would keep this connection again even though she knows the consequences of this action. so if this is right, there might be some yn x taehyun subtle landian blessings. i am keeping my fingers crossed for this one.

The lights are off, he's taking off his coat (mmm, yeah)

I say, "I heard, oh

That you've been out and about with some other girl"

Some other girl

He says, "What you heard is true, but I

Can't stop thinking 'bout you and I"

pls im very intrigueed because yn nd taehyun recently had a conversation abt this right? him and sofi. like the last update was about taehyun and sofi's relationship and how yn was talking about it. but pls bear in mind that taehyun implied that yn was secretly hoping right? right??? so this is where "What you heard is true, but I can't stop thinking 'bout you and I" makes really sense for me because taehyun admitted that there is something abt sofi nd him (because sofi is pretending to be sunny eww again) but he knows that the connection between him and yn is what keeps him up at night. he cant help but think abt what he and yn has. he feels something. something that he could not pin out. yes mr. kang keep on thinking. so maybe,,, he'll start comparing yn to the past sunny (yn's persona) to the present sunny which is none other than the pretentious sofi. And maybe yn isn't the only one secretly hoping at this point. *winks*

but then,,, an insider told me that this song might be a spoiler for the whole story instead of a chapter (insider kind of suspicious tho). so i started looking at it in a bigger setting (sorry im still going.).

so style is generally accepted to be taylor swift's song about harry styles (nothing is confirmed here but miss swift,,, i can feel it.). but that's not the entire point here. i would just like to give u guys a background about the song. the song has been analyzed and interpreted for many times now and there are many similarities as well as differences. like how the song kinds of tells us about a relationship and they know that it will not work out at the first place but they insisted on doing it. there are other analysis that says that this song is about two lovers that weren't just synching as if time wasn't agreeing their way. others says that this one is about being uncertain about a relationship. all of the analysis ive mentioned are yes,, you've guessed it - are my points on how style is related to helpline or how it spoils the whole series...?

So first point/connection. we know at the very beginning of helpline and the interaction between taehyun and yn (as herself) it was just yn that likes taehyun because taehyun alr likes sunny at this point. flashbacks of the secondhand embarrassment brought to u by yn and beomgyu. so she alr sees this relationship with tyun as hopeless because he likes the persona that she created, the exact same persona that she was scared to reveal. it was upon taehyun's support and the daycare as well that made yn feel positive about this. reference #1: style is about knowing that things wont really work out and would just end up badly but you still did it anyway.

second, reference #2: style is about a relationship that is not synching up. "Well it's basically kind of one of those relationships that's always a bit off. I talk about in another song on the record, a crooked love, which is kind of like never quite synced up right..." taylor mentioned this during her promotion for the 1989 album. so notice how whenever the relationship between taehyun and sunny is at its highest, suddenly there are conflicts arising. this might be just cesia's writing technique but notice the lyrics!!! "and when we go crashing down, we come back every time". the first crash was when taehyun likes sunny instead of yn. but yn is sunny! and that ladies and gents is the firt come back. the second crash was the allegations abt who might be the real sunny and the first come back mi amigos is taehyun's reassurance to sunny aka yn. the latest crash and the most annoying of all is sofi and i am still hoping for the next come back that might happen real soon.

reference #3: "When I wrote this next song I was thinking about how we have these kind of fashion staples that never quite, we never quite throw them out of our closet, right? No one's going to be like, why are you wearing a little black dress, no on wears that, that was so two years ago. Everybody has that perfect little black dress or for a guy that great white t-shirt that fits you perfect. You may not necessarily wear them all the time, but they're always there in the back of your closet in case you need to go to your old standby, that classic thing that always works. I was thinking about that, and I then I was thinking about how there are feelings like that, how there are trends that never go out of style and how there are feelings that never go out of style. Do you see where I'm going with this?" the feeling that taehyun that he's not throwing or neglecting was how he felt connected to sunny in a very intimate way. like i think that was what he was looking for in sofi, yes the pretentious sofi. he was looking for that kind of connection. the safeness and the realness of taehyun and sunny towards each other. notice how the connection was only visible when he was talking or with yn (the real sunny). because the connection between him and sunny cannot be faked. no matter how hard sofi tries to pretend and act the connection is just nowhere to be found.

i dont have enough time to concluded this now but i hope this makes sense to cesia klshdjkgshjjhahj

the loml being the yn protection squad™ leader and founder that she is,,,,

these are actually very very interesting theories you have written here babe. i think some theories quiet matched to what i had in mind tbh, sort of almost but not quite ?? (if the grammar is right,,, wtf). i'm interested in your other theories though akbskdhsn why does this feel like a research oral defense or smth

you really placed so much effort in dissecting the song omg i already told you this but i'm telling you once again,,, you make me cry so hard wtf :< i just love you sm, my soulmate :<<

ps: all of this may have started from here

#KINIKILIG PARIN TALAGA AKO TANGINA KA PO LABYU SAGAD #certified helpline smau theorist #meg loml 💗✨💩#[☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ] helpline smau #also namiss talaga kita sobra :<#di ako yung mas inlove dito promise

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xaidyl · 4 years

Note

You could explain individual stuff! I find these explanations very fascinating, actually! OwO

okay! lets do this (this may be a very long post with lots of my random opinions but we’ll go with it) (and also please bear in mind these are jokey and in no real way a representation of these real people with real actual lives.)

***spoilers for most D20 seasons with this cast***

1.The babysitting

Actual parent:Brennan

From my experience DMing, you are effectively a parent to the players. He would also be an excellent dad

Wine aunt: Siobhan

Siobhan gives me vibes of someone who would take a bottle of wine to go babysit, then sit and tell the kids stuff about cults that they weren’t meant to hear. She would definitely teach the kids swear words, and they would love their cool auntie

Great at babysitting: Lou

Part of the key to babysitting is being relatable to the kids, but also self assured enough to get them to behave. the person who holds that key is Lou Wilson. He also has played dad-energy characters, and that is the kind of vibes that you look for in a babysitter.

Mediocre at babysitting: Murph

This scenario needs some theatre of the mind. Imagine Murph, he’s read all the babysitting books, he knows everything he could need to know, he lives with Emily Axeford. He’s more than prepared for this task. He tries so hard. The kids love him. The kids also walk all over him. They don’t get to bed in time. He wanted to do a good job. He tried so hard to do a good job. Yet somehow, luck is against him.

The house is on fire, God is dead: Emily

Fig. Sofia. Jet. All three of these characters would set a house on fire without hesitation, and not one fears God. What does this have to do with Emily’s babysitting ability? Well, all these characters are teaching us to be chaotic beings, just like Emily. We are the children, and D20 is our babysitter. Emily would only replicate the same thing in this babysitting scenario.

The children: Zac and Ally

I believe it was episode 9 of the unsleeping city. Neither Zac nor Ally were involved in the scene in question. Siobhan makes a reference to Eliza Doolittle, to which Zac makes a Dr Doolittle joke. Beardsley then shouts ‘I can see my dick’, a reference to a different film. This is fairly normal behaviour, and would not make either of them children in this scenario, had they not continued to hysterically laugh for the next ten minutes or so. Sat at opposite sides of the table. I think Zac starts crying at some point. They are absolute children, and also both have strong baby energy. Neither babysit, they are the ones that need babysitting.

2. Can they be killed?

Cannot be killed: Brennan

The man is a God. Enough said. Also I’m pretty sure your body would reject your soul before it allows you to kill him.

Can only be killed by one thing: Siobhan

You would be tricked into thinking Siobhan would be easy to kill- her constitution score is so low, after all. However, you would be wrong. The low constitution score has only made her stronger. More aware. What is the one thing that can kill her, though? Nobody knows, she’s only told those she truly trusts. It could be the most rare poison in the world. Or it could just be Mike Trapp. He (allegedly) has previous.

Can be killed but it won’t last: Emily

It is not anything to do with Emily that her death won’t last. In fact, Emily would be pretty easy to kill. However, if you kill her, Murph will do everything in his power to bring her back. He travels to the end of the earth, and then Emily Axeford is back and gets her new death date in a fancy gothic necklace.

Can be killed but at what cost?: Lou

What cost? The cost to the world. The world would be significantly worse off. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. It’s not worth it.

Can be killed but it’s not worth it: Murph

It’s not worth killing Murph because you would have precisely 0.7 seconds before you were killed by Emily. There is no way you can profit from this scenario, you would be dead before you even realise you’ve been successful.

Can be killed and it would be pretty funny: Zac

I feel like we don’t discus the correlation between Zac Oyama characters and dying enough. Gorgug was the first D20 death. Lapain was the first D20 perma death. Ricky just like had a weapon that causes him to die. If you killed Zac, it would just be funny because its happened so much. Sorry Zac.

Can be killed but why would you, you monster?!?!: Ally

We’ve already discussed this. Beardsley is Baby. Leave them alone.

Please kill them they suck: Box of Doom

I dont trust them

3. The fitness gram pacer test

this is definitely the most controversial of the charts, but there’s three of things you need to understand about my reasoning.

1. Zac is fast at running

This has been seen a couple of times, namely: adventuring party, where Zac tried to tease Brennan about showing off how fast he his at running, but it turns out it was just Zac speaking his mind, and he is the one who always shows off at how fast he is at running. Also, the video on Siobhan’s instagram of Zac jumping over that table.

He is also very bad a squats. Why would you be bad at squats? Bad knees. Why would you get bad knees? Running without sufficient warm up. Why would you skip warm up? Because you are very focussed on being able to run fast.

2. Zac is willing to defend his title of running fast

The way he accused Brennan on adventuring party, he knew what he was doing. Sabotage. Brennan may also be able to run fast, but Zac would prevent him from getting a good score. How? He has his ways. Zac is a good boy, but not when it comes to running fast.

3. I felt bad

I had to give Zac at least one good one :)

Anyways onto the other choices:

Actually tried and got a low score: Brennan, Murph, Siobhan

We’ve already spoken about how Zac sabotaged Brennan to be the best at running. Murph is here because he would try really hard but something unlucky would happen. His shoelaces come untied. He accidentally gets caught in the Zac/Brennan feud.

Siobhan started off with the intention to try, but after Lou, Emily and Ally had all done, she realised they were in fact much more interesting than the fighting going on. She walks out mid lap

Didn’t try, got a low score, doesn’t give a shit: Lou and Emily

Its important to understand that both Lou and Emily are capable of getting a high score, they are just better than the whole thing. Why is their DnD group doing a pacer test? Why did Zac suspiciously force them to do this whole thing?

The difference between them is Lou knows the feud is stupid and has like actual work to do? He sits and auditions for some other big film. He still watches over his laptop.

Emily however, simply wants to watch the world burn.

Despite their different approaches to the situation, they both have a bet going on who’s going to be the fastest runner.

Ran one singular lap and finished: Ally

Ally Beardsley shows up at the track wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt that is impracticable to run in. They have a llama with them. At no point do they explain this. They walk round the track once, drink their water from a plant pot, then spend the rest of the time cheering on the others with words that don’t quite make sense.

4. Storming Area 51

They cant stop us all: Zac and Brennan

Neither mean it maliciously, but both believe entirely in what they are saying.

Brennan is definitely the guy to go mad over a conspiracy theory. He made all the crown of candy NPCs. He is basically betraying himself. He knows not to trust anyone. He doesn’t trust area 51. The next season of dimension 20 is this as a subliminal messages all the way through.

Zac says it accidentally. He’s making a character for the charity livestream. He’s still got a hundred hours of character making left. He’s done so many bad squats. Unintentionally, he makes a character that forces all the zesbians to storm area 51.

Have fun getting shot, dumbasses: Lou

The rest of the cast are being weird again. Lou is equally as capable of being weird, but sometimes they need to chill. It starts with Emily talking about diner ice. It finishes with Brennan wearing a foil hat at all times.

You guys stop, someones actually gonna do it: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy.

Actually shows up: Emily and Siobhan

They ride a motorcycle there together. They wouldn’t have gone alone, but as a duo they are an unstoppable pair. Emily wants to break into a government facility. Siobhan desperately want to be in the real life x-files.

One of the Aliens: Ally

Emily and Siobhan open a door at area 51. Behind it is Ally Beardsley. They are wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt. They have a llama standing behind them. This is not explained at any point. They drink from a flower pot and eat a quesadilla that appears out of nowhere.

5. Stabbing

Would never stab anyone: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy

Would stab in retaliation: Lou, Murph, Zac

Lets be honest, the entirety of a crown of candy so far has been these three taking stabs (or metaphorical ‘where is your bulb now’ stabs) as retaliation for a stab another one of these three had done.

Yells “I won’t hesitate bitch” first: Ally and Siobhan

I can’t really explain this one much more other than i’m pretty sure both these people have said this phrase at least once in their life.

Would stab as a warning: Emily

This would be promptly followed by Murph getting her to stop stabbing. Or, depending on the situation, encouraging her to keep stabbing.

6. The water fountain

Fills up a bottle and drinks from it: Lou and Siobhan

This is the normal way to drink from the water fountain. They were also both very concerned at watching Beardsley’s various different drinking apparatuses in adventuring party.

Bought 4 water bottles so this wouldn’t happen: Murph

He is prepared. Something probably still goes wrong, but at least he’s got three water bottles left.

Drinks straight from the tap: Brennan

Brennan is a busy guy. The tap is there, it’s convenient, he needs to get back to planning. There’s so many campaigns, so many characters, so many voices.

Dehydrates: Zac

Honestly I’m not sure if this man would drink water if nobody told him so

Drinks from a puddle: Ally

like they drink from a vase with a flower, a puddle really isn’t that much of a stretch.

Licks the tap: Emily

She just wants to see the world burn. Also, she knows Brennan drinks straight from the tap. She has to get payback somehow.

7. A child starts crying

Makes the child laugh: Lou

We’ve already discussed how Lou has dad energy. I feel like he’s know exactly what to say and how to act to get the child to stop crying. This is less stupid than the rest of my explanations, but I always love how expressive Lou is when he plays dnd. I’m not sure whether its the way he holds himself or the way he gestures, but I’m pretty sure if I was a crying child, I would stop crying if Lou Wilson told me a joke in that very soothing point.

Tries to play with the child: Siobhan and Ally

These two kinda give me older/younger sibling vibes. As a team I recon they could create a game that would calm this child down. Also Ally knows techniques to help adults calm down, they could probably implement these ideas into a game for children.

Gives detailed instructions: Murph

His knowledge comes from the books he has read to learn how to babysit, and the one time he babysat. His explanation is rather frantic however, mostly because he is trying to defend Emily in his answer.

Cries with the child: Zac

He’s sad because all his friends are speaking to this child an nobody noticed how fast he just ran.

He’s also baby, as we’ve said previously, so he probably relates to the child somewhat

The reason the child is crying: Emily and Brennan

The child just watched episode 9 of a crown of candy.

#long post #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #fantasy high

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

Text

mtmte liveblog issue 36

time travel arccccccccccccc yessssssssss

I have been waiting SO LONG to reread this arc hhhhh yessss

starting off strong with the sexy roller cover. nice

I love the disconnect of ‘orion pax: outlaw’ compared to the last time we saw him in shadowplay where he was orion pax: supercop

he’s still punching people for JUSTICE or whatever so I guess not much has changed

oh my god this is the issue with the many many two-page spreads...the first time I read this issue I didn't realize that was a thing and GOD I was SO fucking confused. there's already a lot going on in this issue/arc but this made things so much worse hvbhjkdfbsk. I powered thru and still managed to understand most of the arc despite reading half this issue out of order (essentially) bc the website I read it on split the pages up and I couldn't tell they were supposed to be doubled (and also I'm dumb so I didn't figure it out)

anyways, the actual issue...windcharger is out here using his powers to rip a dudes arms clean off. wow!

and there's skids getting punched in the face. Ls

and glitch! a totally minor character of course...

MANNNNN I SO adore the panel of all the lost lighters appearing in a cloud of purple smoke, all posing epically....SO fucking good, peak sci-fi coolness vibes, A++

as usual jro killing it w/the titles, ‘elegant chaos’ is such a great name for a time travel arc

also reading the tfwiki has shown me that many of jros titles are song or album titles, to which I say - that's epic and I love it. with jro doing it, I feel like it straddles the line between referencing music and the very fanfic-esque ‘title things after music’ vibe. I love it

oh god I forgot they use bs cybertronian time units in this sometimes lmao...I mean of course they do but still like, what the fuck is a cycle. is that a day. I feel like these words all have no meaning/the meanings change drastically depending on continuity. I cant keep up and also I'm lazy and don't care enough to try

I love rodimus did u know

poor riptide looks so confused lmao

IS....IS REWIND PIGGYBACKING TAILGATE...THATS SO FUCKING CUTE....I cant fully tell bc of the page layout but ooomg so precious. minibot buddies

whirl saying ‘chuff’ just reminded me how british jro is hvbhakjhdsfbs sometimes it just Jumps Out in mtmte and I'm like Oh God Britain Is Real

I really like the mtmte approach to time travel and paradoxes and whatnot. its just complex enough to be interesting but not too convoluted that it bogs down the story. perfect sci-fi fun!

mannnn chromedome talking abt brainstorm :( I'm sad abt those two hhhhh

and I love how at this point, nobody in the cast ACTUALLY knows brainstorm well enough to know what he’s really doing - including chromedome, who’s ostensibly his closest friend, somebody he’s known for a while - and even the readers don't really know what he’s up to...I like the mystery tbh

cant believe rewind wrote orion pax’s biography, omg. completely forgot abt that detail

cd saying ‘I love it when he talks history’ about rewind....hhhh I love cdrw so muuuuch

godddd the line rodimus says abt whirl - how they need people like whirl around who are ‘happy to get in the way’ of danger and death - that shit haunts me man like...rodimus is basically saying that he’s bringing whirl along to potentially die in place of someone like orion pax (nevermind the fact that whirl dying would ALSO fuck up the timeline)...like, how deep does it go?? is he saying that bc he knows whirl has been trying to get himself killed for a while now, or just bc whirl likes violence? mannn I cant...the character intricacies...man

anyways...I love rodimus he’s such an interesting character. you have that fucked up moment and then in the next panel he’s saying ‘if you want to call it a time phone, I wont stop you’ about the quantum walkie-talkie. he has the RANGE

oh and then rodimus casually volunteering chromedome to do mnemosurgery on anyone who might accidentally find out about them time traveling, which is again fucked up on multiple levels. the raaaaange

vjaksbhdhfusajbfdjk that panel of the lost light squad just standing there like idiots reminds me of that post where someone said abt that panel ‘these characters have a collective 3 brain cells’ or something hvbjadkfnksfdl

rodimus IMMEDIATELY breaking his own rules by trying to reassure pax that they're good guys by pointing at his autobot badge, even tho the autobots DONT EVEN EXIST YET at this point...my boy PLEASE go purchase some brain cells from the store

and the fact that rodimus introduced himself to pax w/his real name...shouldn't he go by an alias or st??? that seems like a good time travel rule since optimus and rodimus definitely know each other later

and like, did they not anticipate that some of the people in the past would recognize some of the lost lighters hgbajkhdjfnjksf like cd and whirl get Instantly recognized...great job guys

they are all SO bad at this hvbahskjdhfbasjkf I cantttt luckily for them the orion crew is handing them easy alibis

‘the dugout’ is that a baseball reference????

also I love the scenery here, the bg looks like rock but there's metal piping and stuff running thru it, its so cool...really adds to the whole ‘cybertron biomes are made of metal’ thing

‘ancient history’ rodimus are you KIDDING ME-

cyclonus time travels to the past and IMMEDIATELY finds a window to stare broodingly out of. icon

tailgate thinking orion pax is SUPER COOL continues here from shadowplay and I love it...tailgate is so cute

and the tg saying ‘don't you think that's awesome, cyclonus?’ hhhhh so cute

one reason I love this arc so much is that this is the arc where the gay Really amps up

TRAILBREAKER.... oh man ;_;

are you telling me that this outlaw base they're in has ONE bed for all of these people. what the hell vhbaksjhfnsal

cant believe rung sampled roller’s steroid juice box

also cant believe robot steroids exist. except yes I can and I love it

oooh roller’s a 0/1%er? I forgot abt that

cant believe orion pax just grabs some random phone that belongs to these weird new people and answers it. WHO does that

goddddd megatron and orion’s conversation....destroy me

HHHHHH like...the HISTORY....the regret...the missed opportunities...its all so palpable....goddddddd

and of COURSE, the whole thing is steeped in tragedy...the ideological differences that will become the foundation for a 4 million year long war...megatron, who believes that you need to burn things down and start again to really make change stick, and then orion, who says ‘reform is the answer, not revolution’....AUGHHH the intricacies. mannnn

‘you sound lost’ 😭😭😭

‘its tragic.’ yeah, that about sums up their relationship, especially at this stage and in this continuity

anyways. [cries about old man megatron talking to young naïve orion pax] goodbye

AUGHHH and then we jump to rodimus ONCE AGAIN breaking his own rules and trying to save trailbreaker...IT HURTS MAN...god I love rodimus, I feel like him being broken up about crewmembers like trailbreaker dying is one part regular sadness over people he knows dying for tragic reasons, and one part personal guilt at someone under his command dying, even if he’s not involved/at fault. I love the dichotomy of this emotional reaction that comes only partially from empathy/emotion, but also comes from a kinda self-centered need for success as measured by people under your command staying alive. and taking into account rodimus’s life it totally makes sense that he’d act like that...GAH I love it. the complexity of it all!

orion pax saying ‘you should read [megatron]. it’s powerful stuff’ I'm screaming, so many LAYERSSSSS

I fucking love time travel AHHHHHHHHH like the opportunity for interactions like these....chefs kiss

‘hey, best friend! miss you!’ rodimus is such a shit hvbdajkfksjhfd

‘very sus’ rodimus ahead of his time w/the among us lingo

oooh and then they realize that the senate is trying to kill the sparks...gotta save the babies!

tailgate scolding cyclonus for bluntly stating that you'd wanna be subtle when killing newborns...hhhvbhsdfhhhhhh I love them sm

ooooh and rewind has an interesting suggestion - that the senate is actually trying to irradiate the sparks into being outliers...rewind is so smart I love him

and the fact that he’s using history from his database...love it

rodimus sending cyclonus and whirl out like pokemon

ROLLER NOOOO DONT GO OUT THERE

also wow this is literally the 5th (I think) double page spread in this issue...the confusion I felt the first time I read this...lmao

and now this is literally one of my favorite issues so I'm glad I know what's going on lmao

oh man rodimus telling cd not to erase trailbreakers memory even tho that could jeopardize the entire timeline... :(

oh man I didn't even notice but roller getting debris blasted into his face like that makes the whole ‘roller is tarn’ theory even more legit considering tarn’s face scars....

‘tighter the better’ hhh don't say that orion. but also, that’s the companion phrase to megatron saying ‘the deeper the better’ hvbhasjkhdfbaksjlf

I do love the semi-campy action hero antics that orion pax gets up to. its just so fun, even when the stakes are high and things are serious

‘this is the greatest thing I have ever seen’ tg ily

THE REVEAL THAT THE SPARKS WENT TO NYON...so rodimus just saved himself, basically...time travel is so trippy

GODDDD ND THEN TRAILBREAKER...HVHHHHHh 😭😭😭 THATS SO CRUEL MAN

oh man that last panel of trailbreaker holding up roller’s juice box...iirc the first time I read this I thought that was roller (cause of the juice box I guess? idk I'm an idiot) so I was like oh ok he must've come back or something. very much related but I didn't really think about tarn being a particular pre-established character and totally didn't read the whole ‘roller is tarn’ thing that was going on

which in my defense ruth also didn't pick up on any of that while reading this and eventually like 2 issues before the reveal I had to prompt her like ‘you should maybe be wondering WHO tarn is’ vhbahjksdfbaksjdf

so! issue 37! this issue is a solid favorite of mine, id say definitely top 5 or even 3. I'm super biased bc I fucking LOVE time travel, it’s seriously one of my favorite tropes ever, and this issue hits all the time travel beats I love. characters traveling to the past and interacting with people they know! conversations that have multiple meanings bc of TIME TRAVEL! trying to save someone who meets a terrible fate in your future! fun time travel action! the time traveling characters being generally terrible at hiding the fact that they're time travelers! ITS SO GOOD.

and I love the clever way everything is tied together here - where we get a nice continuation of shadowplay, with this taking place shortly after that with a lot of the same cast, and time travel classics like the good ole ‘if we hadn't travelled back in time and done what we did, the future we came from wouldn't have existed at all,’ in the flavor of ‘rodimus saving his baby self’ and ‘rodimus NOT saving trailbreaker’ and ‘everyone forgot about roller :(’

ok but like, did the lost lighters just go ‘oh well, guess rollers gone now.’ like they DID realize that the outlaw crew would have no idea what happened to him if they got their memories erased, right?? did the lost lighters figure that since roller never reappeared after this time period, that was how history was ‘supposed’ to go and they shouldn't mess with it? am I overthinking it? as usual: yes, probably. I love overthinking about comics, in case that wasn't obvious

basically...I love this issue soooo much. so so good and a bunch of fun tropes that I love. I mean the whole arc is like that for me since I love time travel so much. so I cant wait to (re)read more!!

#lj rereads mtmte

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crazy-talk · 6 years

Text

As promised, here’s a little large compilation sort of thing of little moments and memories from SBFP that you folks have submitted. I really appreciate everything that you’ve all submitted, it’s pretty clear that SBFP helped and entertained a whole lot of people - in equal amounts.

Here’s some SBFP moments:

Grand Wizard Wakka

The Shitstorm VII Woolie haunting plan

“What a mysterious game.”

MY HOUSE

“Wait, what’s my objectives?” “You don’t haaave any objectives!”

Qui Gon Chi

“Whah happuh?” “das whah happuh!”

“No, shut up though.”

The Baby

“Shut the fuck up about Face/Off!”

“Bleetzboll...”

The Sadness Trilogy

“KIDS LOVE THE FOCKIN’ DEVIL!”

Pat thinking he’s dying because he sat on a chocolate bar

Kenpachi Ramasama

Shit-kids

“Whut deh fuhk? Is he using duh bät room?”

Mr. Shakedown/Kenny/Quint/Eric Sparrow

TAR-KUS! TAR-KUS! TAR-KUS!

“Love is just chemicals.”

Pat eating candy alone in a closet

Matt throwing the fire axe

“Oh no, I make’da bad game!”

“Hey, is that the script?”

“JAAASON!”

“It’s fine.”

The RE2 valve noise

“Yeyeyeye!”

Woolie’s atomic purple Gameboy

“Eyy, what’s goin’ on, man? You ready to play?”

And some SBFP memories. Some of these may be a bit emotionally heavy so feel free to skip this part:

the sbfp lp of yakuza 0 got me and my best friend into the yakuza series. we watched it together and we still laugh about matt falling to pieces over "never-before-seen results" - Anon

the best friends have had such an influence on my speech patterns that i've infected people who've never watched them before. half of my friend group says super big [x] and porked up now - Anon

SBFP introduced me to so many games that ended up becoming personal favorites of mine, like Deadly Premonition and the Silent Hill series. Their videos became a way for me to spend time with some of my own best friends as well! - captainofthestars

theres one particular moment that will always resonate with me - in their devil may cry lets play, i cant remember if it was 1 or 3, they talk about someone in the comments who mentioned that they had to beat devil may cry with items due to having a physical disability of some kind, i cant remember which. they talked about how it was awesome that he managed to even beat the game like that, and, personally, as someone who struggles with motorskills issues this made me very happy, as a devil may cry fan. theres a lot of other great moments from the tbfp, both funny and genuine that made me happy, but this one in particular stuck with me a lot. - krillfingers

I'll never stop making "pull out king" jokes thanks to sbfp - venerabledreadnought

I remember the first Shitstorm that made me actually have to get up and sit in a brightly lit room with other people in it, Anatomy. It's become a Halloween tradition to watch it every year since, though watching a whole bunch of Shitstorm also became one. As someone who started watching at their second machinma ep, it's not a lie to say that they made up the entirety of my teenage years. I will miss the channel dearly, but I look forward to the future. - duke-nitro

My friends and I have been watching The Zaibatsu for so long that we have accidentally adopted a bunch of their phrases like going “yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah” or saying someone “go down.” Also, despite us not knowing each other when we became fans, we all somehow began with their Man vs Wild let’s play and I even made friends with one of them because I quoted something from it at work. Favorite moment probably has to be the entire Omikron playthrough, I can’t pick a single moment. It was a beautiful trainwreck start to finish and I still put on the playlist from time to time while I’m doing other things. I swear I could gently fall asleep to the sounds of Pat screaming about the shooter segments. shogun-ceanataur

Persona 4 and Kenpachi Ramasama were my favourite. I found the name itself hilarious, but how they kept on referring to him as the full name in different little bits and tones never failed to make me laugh. That “See you later, fuckers!” part from when you see Yosuke was also hilarious. I’m not sure if that video is the oeigin, but it’s why I’ve integrated that phrase into my everyday life. Goddamn what a fun, memorable episode. - whatthehellisthisevenfor

tbfp got me through being homeless in my car twice. every time that I wanted to give up, to just stop trying, i'd turn on whatever new video they had out and it brightened up my life. my mom, who was with me, came to love them to, she used to wait to hear them to relax. i have so many memories of that time, and i don't fully relax or even eat on long days until I've turned their videos on. my favorite quote is still "mistakes into miracles". its a rly motivating quote imo. - c0l0c4k3s

I always loved the Silent Hill 2 LP. I never played it when it came out - all I knew was that it was a horror game, and I hated horror at the time. But when the LP came around, I knew a bit more about the game and I was intrigued. Seeing the game, meeting the characters, hearing Pat disect the story and themes for Matt, I loved it all. I was fascinated, and still am. I will still watch the LP every few months, and I call SH2 one of my favorite games, even though I still haven’t played it.Thanks, SBFP, for all the great moments and the great memories. I wish you all well. - iamthewanderingbard

The best friends are what got me so invested in the Dark souls games, and what motivated me to get through DS2. Even if I say 'You see what i mean' unironically a lot, and go 'You. Did it.' - awkwardmuses

I got into Super Best Friends from a post on the Twin Perfect forum, that linked to the Silent Hill Downpour lp, and never looked back. Their let's plays brought me so much joy back when I wasn't in the best living or health situation, and continue to do so. My favourite let's plays have to be Eternal Darkness and the Shitstorms; I always go back to those when depression hits, or for any reasons. I'll miss them together, but I'll always have those delicious delicious memories. - mrjaffesxeldritchtwin

The Best Friends Play are the reason I end so many sentences with "though". I first found them when a friend recommended the Best Sisters Play MLP animations, and I've loved them ever since. I know it's used as a joke, but I really believe they've earned the title of HYPEST GAMEPLAY ON YOUTUBE. I love all of their David Cage playthroughs, and I adore how many plot-points they guess during Beyond: Two Souls. I love how, when they play a game they really love, they show so much knowledge and care. - mads-in-zero

It was incredibly amusing and oddly touching that the Zaibatsu created this hate circle of David Cage and his godawful games. Even before Detroit’s release, the best friends AND the fanbase were ready to hate it because as a collective, we just latched onto that one thing to hate/make fun of. And we go all out on it together like some fucked up family, and I love it. - missinghmmingbird

I can’t help but shrug off every minor inconvenience and major issue in my life with “it’s fine” thanks to Gun Jumper Liam. Thanks to Matt and Woolie supporting Skullgirls like no one else on the internet, I really got into it and fighting games as a whole. I’m not good at them, but oh boy do I love them.And if it wasn’t for Pat, I don’t think I’d ever have touched a Yakuza or Persona game.These guys affected my life more than any other individual or group on the internet ever really has. - dklordg

The first Best Friends video I ever watched was Portal 2. That short LP had me in stitches. I'd never laughed so hard. I've been a huge fan since then. These guys where the ones that introduced me to LPs and made me realize that you can have fun watching other people bumble through games. TheSw1tcher has been one of my favorite channels on YouTube since I began watching. It gave me something to look forward to. I got through high school, and essentially grew up, watching these videos. There are so many catchphrases and memes I will never forget and will always make me smile. I absolutely say stuff like “whah happun?” and “shit-kids” all the time. The Deadly Premonition and Detroit: Become Human playthroughs are wonderful gems in my eyes. It’s amazing how a group of guys can get so many people to collectively love and bash certain games. We’re all on the same page, having a blast like a huge group of friends at a slumber party. Matt, Pat, Woolie, Liam, Billy, and everyone who involved themselves with the Super Best Friends are the absolute best. They gave me a chance to relax and laugh along with some familiar voices. Although it's sad they are going their separate ways, I totally respect that fact. They have my love and support. I wish them nothing but success and happiness moving forward. I'll be watching! And a note to my fellow fans: This has been a wild ride. I'm glad I got to enjoy it with you. You are all fantastic people. - fablesamongus

#Text post #Comp post #super best friends play #SBFP #Two Best Friends Play #TBFP

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tillman · 6 years

Text

hi i ranked every single dark souls 1 character by who i think is the most kissable . its 79 characters all with a description of why theyre at the place theyre at with images for reference :-) its all under cut for u to enjoy.. thank u

this is all my opinion cus hehe im making the list but also im god so this is fact now .

counting down because u know what ! buildup is fun and i have to start off with everyones most favorite:

GWYN - 79

im kidding. fuck gwyn and everything he stands for. he wouldnt even be a good kisser he doesnt have FUCKING LIPS

SEATH - 78

oh you really wanna kiss the incel dragon who kidnaps ladies for his weird experiements?? yeah?? who are you, big hat logan?

EINGYI - 77

heres one i wont get hate for: this fucking asshole . die bastard . he cant even kiss his face is all infected and gross!

KAATHE - 76

he sucks.

SMOUGH - 75

not only is he too big to kiss! hes a cannibal!! hed eat you!!!! thats no kiss i want!

MANUS - 74

listen i know yall love daddies and all that but hes manipulative and not a nice person so id watch out. i GUESS hes kissable as he was a human before but def not a good kiss

BED OF CHAOS - 73

its just some vines that sometimes set on fire!! If it were still the witch of izalith she would be probally in the 20s as shes a good person who tried very hard to help the world but in this state... u cant even kiss her!

FRAMPT - 72

better than kaathe but the whole no lips and being a manipulative snake monster really throws me off and shoves him down at the bottom

FINA (GODDESS OF LOVE/BEAUTY (?)) - 71

(mentioned character - no image sorry :-( )

Listen as much as im all for love, this is love u dont want ! just trust me dont be lautrec dont do it you dont want to kiss fina listen to me. please dont kiss fina.

VINCE AND NICO - 70

way of the white members are NOTABLY unkissable but these guys. are just so boring. theyll be your white bread boyfriend as neil would say... bad kissers and bad people!

LAUTREC - 69

aw fuck wait can i make another character 69 he doesnt deserve it. anyways not only is he not over his ex (fina) hed probally gut you and steal your lunch money half way through the kiss anyways so whats the point . thats not how u treat a lover idiot

CENTIPEDE DEMON - 68

it eats your face and you die. next pleaaase

PETRUS - 67

another way of the white cleric. he at least starts off nice and he says fuck rich people but also he let that happen to rhea and i fucking hate his guts so no.

PALADIN LEEROY - 66

out of all the way of the white idiots hes the best in that he wears armor and seems cool but its the way of the white man. i cant get past that. sorry leeroy at least your armor is cool. he probably hasnt kissed someone in hundreds of years anyways

MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY - 65

delicate ... but beautiful! i dunno how to smooch it but i def would if i could ! i dont think it can kiss back but, o well! we all have flaws

IRON GOLEM - 64

it cant kiss back but its COOL and can throw me like a javelin so like . yeehaw id smooch its little face place

UNDEAD MERCHANTS (BOTH) - 63

between moss and yulia i think they got enough on their plates! plus since theyre so hollowed, i dont think they have any lips to kiss back with!

INGWARD - 62

hes not like . bad persay but also i dont trust him after he helped with new londo. cool design tho. i wanna kiss that bird beak mask

JEREMIAH - 61

was a bullfrog, and never took off his crown long enough to kiss another person...... i feel like if he did though! oh boy!!!

Asylum Demon + Demon Firesage + Stray Demon - 60

more kissable than some bosses, but still not the greatest lips. good butts though on all of them.... so i guess thats fr u kinky people

SNUGGLY THE CROW - 59

(no image shes a crow)

please stop drawing her as an anime girl shes literally just a grow that likes warm things oh my god you freaks be nice to her

BIG HAT LOGAN - 58

hes hard to kiss around the hat! and on that note hes pretty much taken with his obsession with seath. good luck! hes nice though so better than most of this list so far

GAPING DRAGON - 57

ranked so high because past its giant underbelly of teeth and destruction is this very tiny head which i think is so funny i cant help but want to kiss its little snoot.... hehe baby

PRINCE RICARD - 56

oh now were actually getting into kissable range! ricard is a prince (maybe even of astora... kissability increase.) so his high ranking might get you some kissability points, but the hollowing is gonna lower that. 4/10 no kissable lips!

4 KINGS - 55

whats better than a prince..... a king... whats better than a king.................. 4 KINGS! just watch out for their overly anime spiky armor and the fact their in a never ending void nightmare but they do have faces so thats points above the rest!

SALAMAN - 54

(mentioned character only! sorry!)

hmmmm we dont learn much about him other than he was close with quelana and he was ............ hot! hes a pyromancer. being of the great swamp pushes him down a bit because he prolly smells like his name sake but u know what ! maybe hes cute! we cant be sure! hes in the running at least!

TAURUS DEMON - 53

hmm... bad lover.... good kisser................................................... the things i do for big beefy demon love.

GOUGH - 52

While you cant kiss gough cus all the sap in his helmet i cant bare to put him lower than he is hes just so sweet. a kiss on his helmet because i love him so much

NITO - 51

while he cant kiss back, nito deserves a kiss or two! plus he has a lot of hands so u can hold his hands and be hugged at the same time and u know what that might be just as good as a nice kiss. good on you nito!

STONE DRAGON - 50

again a non kisser........ damn beaks! the stone dragon does need a kiss though. they havent seen another living soul in years down in ash lake! so im giving them points on that alone.

VAMOS - 49

like the last two.... no lips! vamos though makes up for it in his charm and wit, and his exceptional skill in smithing! so even without lips to kiss, you still should kiss vamos! hes a good friend

ARIAMIS - 48

(mentioned !)

wow... a painter! and a skilled one at that! this man created the painted world used to keep priscilla safe and that is so noble it gives him points right off the bat! i feel like though, as an artist, he might be a bit weird about it. so watch out and be safe, but in the end, get free art and some free smooches out of him!

ELIZABETH - 47

thats my mom ... of course she gets a good cheek smooch for all her hard work keeping dusk safe!

DOMHNALL - 46

i love domhnall hes a good guy whos trying his best but also his mask is so fucking goofy i dunno if i can do it .

RICKERT - 45

as much as i think rickert would be a good kiss (hes smart, cute, and skilled!) he is trapped behind some bars willingly and probably wont let you in. i can dream though!

CEASLESS DISCHARGE - 44

if theres any boss that NEEDS a kiss its him. poor dude lost all his family and was turned into this laughing stock of a creature. youd probably burn your lips but .... please just be nice to him :-(

SHIVAS BODYGUARD - 43

ooo a strong yet silent type.... hes even cute under his mask! good kiss, but i feel like he might just care more about his actual job than a kiss ! hes dedicated !

CIARAN - 42

putting aside me knowing shed be a good kisser, i just understand she probably doesnt want a kiss right now, shes grieving over the loss of her friend and i respect her comfort. maybe a good pat on the shoulder and a cup of nice tea with her would be nice though!

PINWHEEL - 41

may seem like a weird choice to put a necromancer up so high on the list but.... honestly pinwheel needs some love. dude lost his whole family and in trying to revive them accidentally fused them to himself. while he might not be the best kisser, i honestly just wanna tell him everythings gonna be ok.

KIRK - 40

ok if you know me you KNOW how much it pains me to put kirk so low but. hes a busy guy! not only is he doing so much work to help out where he can with the fair lady, but you might just get pricked by his spiky armor while youre going in for the smooch! so, as much as he deserves a kiss for all his hard work, maybe pass until another time!

SIEGLINDE - 39

were getting there! she is just so strong... and so brave........ she may not even be undead! sieglinde is so strong and wonderful doing all that just to deliver a message to her unruly father, she deserves so many kisses! Shes got a lot on her plate though so please respect her......

BERENIKE - 38

(just mentioned!)

implied to be a huge strong knight who made it to even sens fortress! yes please !

BELL GARGOYLES - 37

hmmmmm,.......... if u can get past the whole lighting your face on fire, these are two loyal gargoyles! that seems pretty good to me!

BEATRICE - 36

a wonderful helpful witch friend! she is so nice to help you defeat flying bosses with her magic!! i love her so much! shes even cute to boot!

GIANT BLACKSMITH - 35

HE HELP ANYTIME................... I HAVE TO GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGALLY I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RHEA - 34

putting aside my hatred of the way of white.... rhea really is just a babey.... shes adorable and kind and just wants everyone to be ok so im won over. maybe a little forehead smooch for being such a good person!

OSCAR - 33

oh oscar. a noble, heroic, and cute knight but in the end. would he be a good kisser........ i feel yes, but maybe not so much so! hes busy focusing on being a hero you know! hes a good friend and i cant help but fall in love with nice guys

THE FAIR LADY - 32

she deserves the entire world and all i can give her is my humanity and a kiss........... sobs. i wish i could do more to ease her pain but she is so strong and wonderful! please give her a nice smooch!

QUELANA - 31

i didnt wanna separate them ........ her wonderful sister! who even taught humans pyromancies! shes smart and nice, and honestly probably needs a kiss.

MILDRED - 30

uh my notes from last night are just

so yeah! thats mildred!

CRESTFALLEN MERCHANT - 29

hes sad as fuck but also... kinda handsome! he was a knight of berenike and made it almost all of the way through sens fortress showing how skilled he is! a strong man like this (inspired by maybe the best kisser in demons souls, boirr) has to be a good kiss!

SIEGMEYER - 28

hes going through a lot right now but... how could u not think siegmeyer is kissable. thats on you man. thats your own character flaw.

OSWALD - 27

ok this might be slightly controversial but i feel like oswald would be a good kisser. if you got past his slightly weird love for velka who well get to (thats just carimites (carimians? carimfolk???)) hes nice and kind and maybe the funkiest character in dark souls

KALAMEET - 26

another cant kiss you but.... kalameet is just so cool ! very shadow the hedgehog and u know what that is NOT a bad thing. you might have a rough time trying to get there, but..... aww whos a good dragon.....

DARKMOON KNIGHTESS - 25

alright the final stretch! the darkmoon knightess is the anor londo firekeeper, and a friend of gwyndolin! shes supposed to be “ugly and shit” (real quote. i would never lie to you) but her model is so cute! defiantly kissable as fuck!

SANCTUARY GUARDIAN - 24

GOFH ITS JUST A WIDDLE KITTEY CAT........... I GIVE IT A WIDDLE KISSEY ON ITS FOREHEAD AHOWHWWAWWW BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALVINA - 23

AWHAHWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES H(FADOESAGVFOSDHFSO CUET EIFEDKC LKOFIE JS I LOVE YOU FJEADFIDASHCODEUFCUSFKSDHFKSUHFC

DUSK - 22

oh yes!! the princess of a lost land...... will you be her knight in shining armor.......... oh i just love her so much. shes sweet and nice and cute and deserves a kiss or two!! please be nice to my daughter!

SHIVA - 21

hottie with cool armor and a cooler sword. since they cut his whole sidequest i can with all certianty say YES he is super kissable and is probably a great kisser

QUELAAG - 20

IGNORIGN HER GIANT SPIDER LOWERBODY........... SHES JUST DOING THIS FOR HER SISTER SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP HER POOR SISTER WHOS IN PAIN HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER SO MUCH!! PLEASE KISS QUELAAG!

GRIGGS - 19

im putting griggs so high cus hes kissable in a factor unseen before...... baby factor. hes soft and nice and is just trying to find his dad! just tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight! its what he deserves!

ARTORIAS - 18

everyone already KNOWS why artorias is a good kisser. hes nice, strong, brave, and most importantly. cool as FUCKING HELL ! HE DOES SICK ANIME FLIPS!! if you can look past the abyss slowly taking him over, youll find a good good boy who deserves a good kiss.

ANASTACIA - 17

the good firekeeper who we spend most of our time with in 1! YES of COURSE Shes kissable. she deserves SO MANY kisses for all of her hard work in keeping the firekeep shrine lit! good job anastacia im sorry lautrec is like that

VELKA GODDESS OF SIN - 16

(just mentioned!)

if her title alone doesnt bring you in, youll be pleased to know shes implied to help watch over priscilla (who well get to hold your horses) and keep the poor girl safe! a strong sense of justice and a love of crows, shes probably an amazing kiss if you can find her!

ANDRE - 15

were closing in on #1 and i just have to throw andre in here. hes so nice and strong! just . please kiss andre! he deserves some he does so much work!

PRISCILLA - 14

poor priscilla. called a monstrous crossbreed and has to hide in a painted world to stay safe from those who would hurt her. including the internet! leave her alone you freaks shes not your fetish fuel!!! she deserves a good kiss on the cheek and a hug for all she has to put up with

CRESTFALLEN WARRIOR - 13

its my list i get to put the crestfallen warrior where i want. and u know what? he would honestly be a good kiss. hes kind and helpful and never once wishes you harm, he just needs to be held tightly and kissed passionately and u know what. dont we all.

GWYNEVERE - 12

she is beautiful but .... 1 shes married and 2 shes not even real! whatever. her husband the flame god flann is at least.......... hot! haahgdaefshdfcdhswfe im so fucking funny

BLACK IRON TARKUS - 11

listen i see a big beefy dude i go “hey thats hot please kiss me” so of course tarkus is this high up hes the beefiest dude around.... right?? anyways all knights of berenike are kissable hes just the MOST kissable of the 3 named ones!

ORNSTEIN - 10

this dude kisses the son of gwyn you KNOW hes a good kiss. the golden lion armor just helps so much. we love you ornstein .....

HAVEL THE ROCK - 9

HERE HE IS ... THE BEEFIEST GUY AROUND ... this bitch uses a DRAGONS TOOTH as a huge club to bash people with if that isnt big dick energy i dont know what is. armor made of stone. heart made of gold. havel the rock please god kiss me passionately under the moonlight .

SIF - 8

oghfoghfohg puppey..................................... SMOOCHIE THE PUPPY>...........

NAMELESS KING (!?) - 7

(hes just mentioned in ds1!!)

I KNOW HES A DS3 BOSS BUT LISTEN TO ME THEY TALK ABOUT HIM SO MUCH IM ALLOWING THIS. he defected from his awful dads team to go help the DRAGONS!! thats so cool hes so kissable. would be more kissable if he wasnt kissing ornstein but thats ok . i respect them both.

MARVELOUS CHESTER - 6

this MAY just because i have a huge crush on him but also here are some good kissable things about him: his fasion, his voice that sounds like a purr, his laugh, his malice, his funny mask, him. thank you for your time.

GWYNDOLIN - 5

FINAL FIVE! heres gwyndolin. the most kissable of all of gwyns children for the sheer fact of how much work they put in to making sure people stay safe and happy. they are so kind and wonderful they deserve SO MANY kisses! good on you gwyndolin....

LAURENTIUS - 4

now heres a fun one! laurentius is one of the nicest guys u will EVER meet in any souls game. he genuinely cares about you, he loves and respects u even if u dont respect him or his skills, hes nice cute and above all: i love him . please kiss laurentius he is a nice guy who just wants the best for u..... dont be mean to him.....................

CAPRA DEMON - 3

the highest one that cant kiss back and thats for the capra demons SHEER HORNY ENERGIES. this is a demon you can fuck! thats it i have nothing else to say i just think the capra demon is funny

SOLAIRE - 2

do i seriously have to explain why solaire is so high up. not only is he nice and cares about you, hes handsome, passionate, and just a good fucking person. he is hands down one of the most kissable characters in any souls game ever! fuck yeah! go off you funky little lover boy!

and finally.

its patches.

#i made this entire list for a joke and u know what the 4 hours i spent on it for the build up was so fucking worth it i dont care #dark souls #soulsborne

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rint4rous · 5 years

Text

meeting the parents: karmelle

(this is so long hhhh)

karma met the (step)mom first

he already sorta met her in the summer trip since she was one of the assassins in the hotel

but they properly met when he comes over anielle’s house after school

as anielle unlocks the door karmas ready for her little siblings running up to her and welcoming her home and saying hi to him

but to his surprise its a woman with her arms crossed thats there when they walk in

wowie ! its arime kiriya !

anielle seems unbothered and ignores that her mom looks mad as shes taking off her shoes

“didnt know youd be home today”

“daichi says you skipped training for a week again.”

“daichi says a lot of things especially about me, probably to stray you from the fact hes failing one of his classes”

theres a screech from the kitchen

“?!!???!! SHES LYING DONT LISTEN TO HER”

arime just sighs, shaking her head

meanwhile karmas standing there like …?? um ok

as hes taking his shoes off, arime notices him

“oh, the boyfriend.”

ani: um??? no??? hes not??? my boyfriend???

“this is karma,,,”

“is he staying for dinner??”

karmas kinda panicking and his Respecful Mode is ON

hes not really intimidated, she just seems like a ‘normal’ mom to him but at the same time ..

this .. arime kiriya might be a pro assassin but before that she’s still anielle’s mom

he doesn’t really care about first impressions

so he has no idea why hes worrying now

“i usually do, unless you don’t want me to??”

“oh no no i would have insisted you stay if you said no”

anielle grabs karmas wrist

“call us down when foods ready”

shes dragging him up the stairs

she lets go of his wrist when they got in her room and shes like

“yeah um,, thats my mom,, i didnt know she would be home”

“shes different from what i expected?? from the trip she seemed more intimidating”

“oh shes actually pretty nice ?? we get in playful arguments sometimes but yeah even though shes not always at home she tries her best”

dinner time !

anielle said they werent together but arime could tell that even tho they werent tgt yet there was something there

arime asks karma a few questions as they’re eating and when karma answers, his tone’s polite and tame

anielle notices this

she finds it a little amusing, but honestly cute more than anything

when karma goes home arime says

“he seems like a good kid. you like him?”

ani, blushing: ?!??!!?! n-no

arime: ok sure

after that karma sees arime whenever shes home

he usually comes over anielles house so

but on the times that ani doesnt come home with karma, arime invites him for dinner

he says yes every time

arime always refers to him as the boyfriend though

not your boyfriend, but THE boyfriend

“you gonna invite the boyfriend over?” “how’s the boyfriend?” “ask the boyfriend if he wants to eat dinner with us”

anielles like please stop calling him that (1) he isnt my bf and (2) even if he was it sounds so weird and lame

(when karmelle start officially dating though she refers to him as karma)

karma eventually gets comfortable that he drops the Timid Tone and starts talking like himself

arimes not shocked at the change

HHH she looked thru the poor kid’s records and looked him up after they met because she has to know abt him if hes gonna end up with her daughter so she knew abt his personality and was waiting for it to show

arime’s honestly amused by him but she likes him and still thinks hes a good kid

he gets invited to their training sometimes

and sometimes gets to spar with arime he almost beat her once

as for ani’s (birth) mom, karma goes with anielle to the cemetery whenever she asks for mental support because sometimes it gets a little too much for her

the first time he went was after the incident with shiro

anielle wasnt planning on bringing him, but he insisted

he couldnt leave her alone, not after the emotional torture shiro put her through

when she broke down in his arms, he knew coming with her was the best decision, even if she didnt like the idea at first

the dad .. he met him three months after arime

karma knew that he was in the ministry of defense and is friends with karasuma, but was dealing with things overseas

thats all he really knew, he was expecting someone like karasuma

karma and ani were just playing a game tgt

then they hear the doorknob rattling ?!??!?!

out of instinct, anielle grabs the gun she keeps under the sofa hjgfhjksd

shes walking slowly towards the door gun in hand

the door opens

“i swear to god yuto i told you to stop doing that.. stop trying to scare the kids and open the door anielles gonna accidentally shoot you one of these days” arime scolds him as they walk in

yuto just laughs

anielle drops the gun and runs to hug her dad,, she hasnt seen him in months

“see! she had a damn gun ready!” arime sighs, pulling their luggage in

she sees karma “oh hi karma!! how you been?”

“good,,”

“so you’re karma? are you gonna join us for lunch?”

karmas like this is like meeting arime all over again

man he never thought his Respectful and Polite Mode would make a comeback but here he is

HHH karma: no fear

yuto: hi

karma: one fear

“yes sir”

anielles trying so hard not to laugh,, she cant believe karma just called her dad SIR HRKHHKJJKH

she and arime are silently snickering together while karma sits there as yuto studies him

“i’ll go start making the food,,” arime heads to the kitchen

“elly, go help your mom”

karma and anielle knew it was to get karma alone with him,, ani doesnt argue and goes to the kitchen

“arime and karasuma told me a lot about you.”

“oh”

yuto asks karma questions, but they arent Extra ykno

hes not Overly Protective, but hes more protective of ani because out of the two oldest, he knows anielle was affected by their mothers death most and took longest to get over it

he just wants to get to know karma

after arime karma was expecting the dad to be like her except more strict and intimidating but

for arime, it took two months for him to drop the timid tone

for yuto, it took an hour

hes still answering politely, but now hes including some snarky remarks as a joke and is talking in his usual tone

arime calls them for lunch

they all talk while eating and karma could tell the dad likes him too

hes just happy he got both of anis parents to like him

anielle met karmas parents like two weeks after graduation,, meaning karmelle are tgt now

she decided to tag along when karma went to the airport when they were coming back from a trip

he said they were coming back for a bit to spend time with him and to congratulate him for graduating

anielle didnt really know what to expect

shes looking at her phone when she hears a “karma!!!!”

she looks up and sees a woman waving at karma and a man beside her

as they’re approaching, his mom notices anielle beside him

“oh you came with... your girlfriend?”

“hi, i’m anielle!” ani greets. “i hope i’m not being a bother by being here?”

“not at all! i didn’t know our karma had a girlfriend?? since when??”

“we haven’t been together for long, but we met during our second year,,”

his mom turns to karma, “you dont tell your folks anything nowadays”

karma just shrugs

anielle shares brief greetings and conversations with his dad, the mom talks more

they dropped off their things and anielle stays for an hour and leaves so they can settle in

she gets invited to eat out with them the next day

(bruh all of these involve eatinf i am so original)

she gets to really talk with his parents

karmas mom jokes around like “our problem child managed to get himself a girl!!! he’s a real handful, isn’t he?”

anielle laughs it off, “hes tiring to deal with sometimes, but i manage. you learn to have patience with him”

karma: Bruh

ani came over sometimes, and she got to know the parents better (and vice versa, they just dont know shes a hitman)

they really like her, she keeps karma in check and they think she brings out the best in him,, shes reckless and chaotic just like karma but if she needs to, shes able to stop karma from doing stupid things and he actually listens so

his parents arent the kind that are like “wanna see karmas baby pics” to embarass him hes thankful

after a month they leave again

ani got their numbers, and the mom texts her from time to time to check up on karma (and her !!)

(karma doesnt know this)

#karmelle #j writes karmelle

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genderfluidmollymauks · 6 years

Text

highlights from last nights session

a continuation from this campaign

the dm, before even fucking starting: i would like one of you to roll a d20 me: i’ll do it. just a straight d20? dm: yah me: i got a nat one the entire party: *laughing* dm: i- ok, so there was a mechanic involved that you had to roll literally anything but that.

also, since i rolled the first nat 1, i have to make the highlights reel. buckle up.

the bard woke up first, and tried to make breakfast. rolled a 3 to make breakfast. we all wake up to the smell of smoke and i, thinking quickly, throw a rock at the fire the bard made

bard: what are you doing! me: it was on fire! bard: i made the fire! that was for breakfast! me: ... oh

the bard braids my hair and several things happen during this time

i ask if she stole a hankerchief

she gets blue hair dye all over her hands

we realize “oh, where’s the ranger, you know, your half brother”

the bard freaks the fuck out when we realize the ranger is missing bc they are. siblings.

me: i call for bambi (the ranger’s deer companion) dm: bambi is right there me: great, can you lead us to febey? dm: bambi looks exasperated. she just goes to a tree and lays down.

the ranger was asleep in the tree.

the bard threw a rock at him

lots of rocks being thrown this session, as you can tell

after this rock throwing session, we all kept following the trail from yesterday to find the person we were hired to find and then out of nowhere, the dm goes :) roll a perception check

the ranger got a NAT ONE and heard a wounded animal. fun!

there was no wounded animal. just a swamp.

which we got stuck in

me: fuck me: that was in character

i did that several times throughout the session

me: we need to go to that swamp. carter: we need to follow the markings me: no, i remember, specifically, loki said to go to the swamp. they said the guy we’re rescuing was stuck in a swamp, and it would be kinda funny if i got stuck too, but that isn’t the point, we’re supposed to go to the swamp. so unless i remembered wrong, or my dm fucked up-

oh, by the way, i was RIGHT, the markings did lead to the swamp :)

we enter a scary hole in the swamp, and we hear a scary disembodied voice ask “WHO GOES THERE”

the artificer, trying to be practical: carter. me, being myself: i’m a paladin the bard, trying so hard to get us safely out of here: we’re the circus

scary voice: A PALADIN? WHO DO YOU SERVER, PALADIN me, realizing my mistakes: loki scary voice: TELL ME, HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE ROTTING GOD? me, very aware of my mistakes: uh, no, but i always like to keep my options open scary voice: ARE YOU READY TO COMMIT YOUR SOUL TO THE ROTTING GOD? me, so so very aware of my many, many mistakes: im not ready to commit to anything, but if you have an hour long power point presentation-

me, ooc: in the back of my head im just going “loki loki loki help help loki help” dm: loki doesn’t respond me, who knows loki has never shut the fuck up a day in their life, comforted me when i cried, and has always made a point to be there for me when i need them: oh no

a tiefling in a big goopy sack descends from the ceiling and the entire party basically goes “this is either florian or rose’s romancable npc”

me: jeremy i swear to GOD if this is my girlfriend-

it was florian, all is well

the scary disembodied voice turned out to be a lady with wings, a tail, and horns, who looked vaguely fiendish, and we all kind just went “hot” and referred to her solely as “hot lady”

the bard almost seduced her. almost.

during the fight florian was a BADASS with all kinds of fire spells

dm: florian goes up to you and touches your shoulder and says “flame on” me: i ask him if he’s a flaming bisexual dm: he gives you a wink

i, the paladin with a chronic inability to hit anything, ever, got a NAT 20 to hit

dm: i’m giving you a free divine smite for that

dm: roleb, you can’t see this, but the rest of you see their sword light up with a soft green light as they hit the hot lady, and she screams me, in character, after I hit her: yah. i’m a paladin.

after the bard sang a CUSTOM BARDIC INSPIRATION SONG FOR CARTER i took the opportunity to hand the lady (who had at some point ceased to be hot and was now just an old woman screaming at us) a poster about loki

dm: she’s going to take a swipe at you with her nasty claws me: wha- oh right, her turn is right after dorami’s. dm: you take 4 points slashing and 6 points of acid damage me: what the FUCK me, in character, to the lady: i guess you’re not a fan.

after the battle:

florian: so simon sent you to save me the other members of the party: yah me: nope, loki sent me. me, handing florian a poster about loki: you’ve been saved by the paladin of loki! congratulations! i’m not asking you to convert or anything, but a little gold thrown their way wouldn’t hurt

im basically just like “unless theres loot anywhere around here, i want to get the fuck out” bc im scared as fuck and cant contact my deity, who literally never stops giving me unprompted advice

we find a chest, and when i open it, i, bad dex mcgee, had to make a dex save. i failed, and took a dart to the shoulder. i kept the dart.

we all also rolled ridiculously high perception checks, so:

dm: you pull out the linens, and the three of you look at it, and you all at once kind of go “false bottom”

we find 420 gold

florian: i think i was useful in that fight, and i deserve a share of the gold carter, not having that bullshit: if you want me to help, i get my fair share, which does not include paying the damsel in distress

we also find a fancy dagger (i took it) a fancy ring (the bard took it) and the fucking rock (which the artificer took)

i need to explain something about this rock.

this is the rock that when we tried to roll arcana for it, with a NAT 20, we couldn’t understand it, and it just felt old. this is the rock that we found in the domain of a woman proclaiming shit about a rotting god taking my fucking soul. this is a rock we found in a place i could not reach my deity.

tHIS IS THE ROCK THAT WHEN CARTER TRIED TO SKIP IT, SHE HAD TO ROLL A WISDOM SAVING THROW, AND THE ROCK TOLD HER NOT TO THROW IT AWAY.

I HATE THIS FUCKING ROCK

me, literally at half health, running around after the battle: does anyone need healing :)

i use my lay on hands points to heal 2 points of damage to florian, 3 points for dorami, ANOTHER POINT FOR FLORIAN AFTER CARTER SLAPS HIM, and five points healing a disease florian had, that the dm later revealed he DIDNT ACTUALLY HAVE

meanwhile i’m basically bleeding out going :) this is fine :)

me: i run out dm: where to? me: the exit

me: as i go to the path i’m just going “loki? loki? loki?” dm: as soon as you get to the path, you hear in your ear, loki going “rose? caleb? ROLEB?”

loki: i couldn’t hear you, i couldn’t see you. i have been around for a very long time, and that was the most scared i’ve ever been me: yah but you’re the all powerful god, try being the squishy mortal

loki: you should heal yourself, you should- me: what what no no i’m fine, listen have you heard of the rotting god? loki: you know i hear your friends telling you to take care of yourself, and i agree, you should me: i’m fine but i feel like you’re dodging the question. do you know anything about the rotting god, because that scared me loki: you know whats even scarier? i don’t know anything about that.

artificer, ooc: are you talking to loki out loud? me, ooc: yes. bard, ooc: dorami is just like “is this normal paladin behavior??” loki: you should probably go, you’re freaking out your friends me: no i’m not! bard: uh, yes, sweetie, you kinda are

we are officially booking it back to town, and the bard and florian are hanging in the back flirting grossly the entire time

me, yelling back: IF YOU TWO WANT TO HAVE AN EVENING ROMP IN THE WOODS, BE MY GUEST, BUT WE’RE TRYING TO GET BACK TO TOWN bard, yelling back: I CAN DO BOTH

we also had to roll perception checks on the way back to town, and i got the highest, and i was the only one who saw a fucking shadow in the forest beside us

like i cannot stress this enough i think we accidentally stole an unholy relic from a rotting god and its the GODDAMN ROCK

we all start playing with matches on the way back, because i’m a pyromaniac, florian is a fire magician, and the bard has pyrotechnics

fireworks were made

dm: you get back to town and you realize it’s been overrun by mandated soldiers the party, currently consisted of an ex-soldier who deserted, a professional liar, the ex criminal we just rescued, an actual criminal, and a sixteen year old with a sword: oh shit

#dnd #dnd shenanigans #artificer #paladin #ranger #bard #the bard had to leave halfway through :/ so this is mostly a recap post for him #which is why its so detailed in places i think are important #rose

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buffalostorm · 7 years

Text

Fanfic

a text exchange is implied between the Havenfall crew and I decided to write it

Set in Mackenzie’s route

occurs somewhere during Season 2 Episode 7, in the time gap between the two

MacMommy has come online

JuniorLucifer69 is online

MM: JD

MM: Can we talk

MM: Im not accusing you of anything

MM: JD you arent in trouble or anything

JL: sherif

MM: Im texting as Mac right now

JL: cul i like mac beter

JL: since ur mac can this wait for a sec im in the midle of sum stuf

MM: Does the bowling alley have some customers

JL: nah

JL: its crime stuf

MM: what

MM: JD

MM: Im the Sheriff now

MM: JD I will call Razi right now

JL: jk wat up

MM: Are you doing crimes

JL: not unles eatin froot loops is a crime

MM: its 9 PM

MM: and arent you at the bowling alley?

JL: yeh an i wanted froot loops

JL: i knew i would want froot loops so i took some froot loops in a plastic bag

JL: who made u the sherif of fud time

MM: weve gotten off track

JL: never knew what the trac was

MM: I wanted to ask for advice

JL: im literaly the person with their life the least put together

JL: the only thing im qualified to give advice about is precisely how much shit u can do and not get actualy punished for

MM: How about dating

MM: like asking someone out

JL: y do u need advice

JL: u 2 made out in front of the entire town

JL: not much of a feat

JL: the in front of the entire town part

JL: the making out was a biger thing

MM: Weve done more than that

JL: u 2 are together right

MM: We are together yeah

MM: We havent been on a proper date yet though

JL: havent u asked some1 out before

JL: wait

JL: uve done more than that

MM: I shouldnt have said that

JL: did u 2 do it

JL: DID YOU TWO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

MM: …

JL: WHATS THAT SUPOSED TO MEAN

JL: YOU CANT JUST DOT DOT DOT ME MAC

MM: Im just here for advice I dont need anything else

JL: OK but whether or not u 2 have screwed does change my answer

MM: I dont see how that has anything to do with it

JL: it absolutely does

MM: Im not answering that

JL: cool so u 2 absolutely did do it

MM: JD

JL: nah its cool im happy for u and all but le

MM: JD

MM: Are you there.

MM: JD you need to finish that sentence

JL: This is Razi. JD was texting on the job and they tell me I’m texting Sheriff Hunt.

MM: yeah this is Mac

JL: If I may ask, what did JD do?

MM: Nothing this is an informal conversation

JL: JD is telling me to scroll up.

MM: Please dont

MM: Razi

MM: Razi you better be typing a very long message because I dont like this one bit

JL: jd back on the mic

MM: What happened

JL: razi read through the rest of the conversation and started crying from laughter

JL: i swiped my phone back

MM: Do u remember when things like this stayed private

JL: pepperridge farm remembers

MM: Good times

JL: update razi is still laughing

JL: he has done the dad thing where he chuckles and shakes his head

JL: he mumbled something

MM: I dont need the play by play

JL: im more of a color commentator

MM: Can you bring him back in

MM: I could use the help

JL: ill help him get on

MM: Ill be waiting

JL: hes almost on

JL: hes trying to compose himself

MM: Does he need any help

JL: still trying to compose himself

JL: he has stopped giggling and put on a Serious Face

Guest42251413 has come online

Guest: Hello, this is Razi.

JL: henwo

MM: Welcome Razi

Guest: Why do you guys have initials and I don’t?

JL: u have to register

Guest: OK, how do I do that?

MM: JD can you help him

Guest 42251413 has registered as Razi420

MM: Did you choose the name

Razi420: JD helped me. I tried to register as Razi, but the system said, “Username taken,” so I tried Razi1 at the behest of JD. That too was taken, so then JD informed me that Razi420 was open so I took it.

Razi420: Wait, I don’t have initials.

MM: JD can you help him

JL: i dont know its just so difficult

JL: itll take 10 hours

JL: i remember when i changed my intials i had to fill out all sorts of forms

JL: it was such a hassle

JL: and you wouldnt make little old me go through that again.

MM: OK you dont have to help Razi

Razi420: I guess that an old man like me wouldn’t understand it.

JL: ill get diego on the line 2

Razi420: You know computers are so hard for people like me

JL: mac how much experience do you have with dating

MM: I havent asked anyone out in my life

JL: not even for a sadie hawkins

Razi420: The other day I learned about emojis.

MM: I went to a small high school no one else was out

JL: so is it a confidence thing or a what do i say sort of thing or whats a good thing to do kind of thing or what

DrEscalonaMDPHDBS has come online

Razi420: See, Diego knows what it’s like, you don’t know how to do anything, you don’t know the lingo, you don’t know how to get initials for your messages.

DE: What?

DE: What did you guys need me for?

JL: i just heard razi sigh from the arcade

DE: So what was going on around here.

MM: I need some advice

DE: mhm, and what for?

MM: Asking someone out

DE: You two are definitely together, is that correct? I remember you two sharing a ,ah, intimate moment together.

JL: theyve “done more than that”

MM: JD dont you dare

DE: I’m going to need you to be more specific, JD.

MM: You better not

MM: JD I swear on my mothers hashbrown casserole if you dare say a word that is off task I will smash your stupid John Lennon sunglasses on the ground

Razi420: Part 1: I’ve tasted that casserole, this is very serious. Part 2: I will not say a word about that. I will hold that as a secret to be divulged at your discretion.

MM: Thank you Razi

DE: All of that aside, this is a date between you and our friend.

MM: Yes

DE: Just making certain everything is clear.

Razi420: In addition, Mackenzie has never asked anyone out on a date.

MM: Most of my past relationships we just kinda ended up in the same place

DE: Coworkers?

MM: Yeah basically

DE: My experience may seem a little old and not suit your personal flair, but I will offer my advice

JL: THEY HAVE MOST DEFINITELY HAD SEX. THEY HAVE DEFINITELY DONE THE DIRTY. MACKENZIE AND MY LOVELY COWORKER HAVE IN FACT HAD A ROLL IN THE HAY.

MM: Are you done?

JL: not yet

JL: macken-ZAY has gotten biz-ZAY

JL: They have shagged, baby

JL: ok im done

DE: I see

MM: I want merely two things in the world

JL: is one of those a piece of that ass

MM: I just want to take my girlfriend out on a nice date

JL: im a prophet

MM: And a device where I can punch JD in the face whenever I want

MM: not too hard

MM: not hard enough to cause damage

MM: but hard enough to make them stop

MM: Is that too much to ask

JL: yknow not wanting to damage me is probably the sweetest thing u ever said to me

JL: also mac you can break my “john lennon sunglasses” i have 50 backup pairs.

MM: Just please tell me how to ask out a girl

DE: When you say date, do you mean “let’s go out to lunch on Friday,” or “Come follow me, I have a surprise for you.”

MM: The surprise one

DE: Is the surprise time bound or can the surprise come at any time?

MM: Its time bound

DE: How much planning went into this?

MM: A lot

DE: Please be specific

MM: I rented out the drive in theater for an exclusive showing

DE: That’s extensive.

DE: Are you certain she doesn’t have any commitments?

MM: …

MM: no

JL: doc were in havenfall the only other possible commitments u can have is harvesting corn or very specifics times for rituals

JL: those r the only 2

DE: Still, for future reference, it is polite to make certain there are no other commitments.

MM: OK

DE: So, the basic message is, come with me to the movies.

MM: Id like it to be a surprise but yeah

DE: mhm

JL: ok so for a surprise you gotta give enough to peak their interest

Razi420: pique

JL: idea lee u keep them guessing until u finally get to the location of the surprise

Razi420: ideally

JL: if u wanna go the extra mile leave a red earring so they think ur gonna go someplace else

Razi420: red herring

JL: plant a piece of evy dance that suggests a bar crawl instead of a camping trip or whatever but be careful

Razi420: evidence

JL: u dont want to accidentally pull a bateman switch

Razi420: bait and switch

JL: no im pretty sure its bateman switch

Razi420: bait and switch

JL: its like when ur watching an episode of arrested development and then u realize that the entire time jason bateman was just a cgi clone and not the real jason bateman and then ur just like aaaaaaahhh man i wanted to see jason bateman and now i get this

JL: thats a bateman switch

Razi420: That doesn’t happen.

DE: That seems rather con fluted.

Razi420: convoluted

JL: so if ur seeing a drivein movie ur bringing blankets and other stuff right

MM: yeah blankets pillows and popcorn

JL: so thats pretty obvious

DE: It’s been so strange to see popcorn grow as a foodstuff.

JL: doc please dont weve wasted enough time as it is

Razi420: I’ve seen it too, it’s very strange how we’ve all decided it is only for movies and baseball.

JL: dont start this old man

Razi420: I remember when growing popcorn was the livelihood of some people.

JL: razi i will go over to the jukebox and play neil young right now if u dont stop

MM: JD youre wasting time yourself now

JL: right right

JL: so u arent going to be able to trick her into thinking u 2 are going somewhere else but

JL: but

MM: JD Ive never asked anyone out before Im not ready for advanced tactics here

JL: ok fine but never say where ur going

JL: keep it a mystery

JL: the idea is shes concerned with the mystery and when she solves it shes all like booyah and it makes the date better. so u gotta make sure shes gonna solve that mystery

JL: whats new scooby doo and all that

MM: and if she guesses the mystery

JL: just be noncommittal if she guesses right

JL: give a flat no to any incorrect answer and then give a maybe or an i dont know if she guesses right

JL: the maybe and the i dont know are in That tone of voice

MM: yeah I know That tone of voice

Razi420: I don’t mean to jinx it but I think this is the longest JD has a gone without making a joke.

DE: Wait, Razi, you, as a djinn, believe in jinxes?

JL: u might want to text her because if u build up the anticipation the payoff will be greater.

MM: JD I shouldnt text her I dont like personal conversations not in person

Razi420: Jinxes are a legitimate concept. I have plenty of data to back it up.

MM: but Im not even sure how to even start the conversation and get it leading up to asking her out

JL: mac ill let u in on a secret

JL: being smooth is 70% luck

JL: u gotta have quick thinking and all that

JL: but sometimes the right opportunity doesnt present itself and then u just gotta have an awkward transition

DE: Razi, jinxes are just coincidental, you point out something because it’s rare or you assume an unlikely outcome will happen, and when it falls through. You just say, “Oh, I jinxed it.”

JL: so mac, be ready to just go out and say would u like to go out on a date tonight

JL: i know that its not like that in the movies but thats closer to real life

MM: I cant work with “just do it” my brain doesnt like it

JL: u just gotta lean on ur natural charms

JL: ur going to feel really nervous so just lean into it

JL: be cute nervous

JL: she will love u cute nervous, mac

Razi420: Jinxes are like reverse wishes, someone says something and then the opposite effect occurs. The same powers are at work, but the etiquette of wish making isn’t followed, so the reverse effect occurs.

MM: I guess Im just worried she’ll say no

JL: shes not going to say no

JL: like i said theres nothing to do in this town

JL: but more importantly

DE: Mac, if all else fails I will help you out in anyway I can, you have my word.

MM: Thanks Diego

JL: but more importantly you two love each other. shes going to be glad to talk to u no matter the outcome

DE: And, Razi, when you grant a wish it tires you out, right? It drains some of your power.

Razi420: Yes, it does drain some of my power, but what does it have to do with jinxes?

JL: mac just remember that its going to go a whole lot better than you think it is going to go

JL: brains are just like that

JL: they tell u everythings gonna suck but surprise it rules

DE: The point that I’m getting at is that for a jinx to work, someone has to spend some power, so where does it come from, does it come from the wood that you must knock upon?

Razi420: …

Razi420: JD, you’ve been quite unlike yourself.

DE: No.

MM: I appreciate it JD

DE: Razi, you’re not getting away with it that easily.

MM: If Im being honest I expected to have to work hard to get info from you

DE: Razi, you can’t just deflect like that.

JL: im surprised that we didnt start a whole tangent on arrested development or something dumb

Razi420: Jinxes are caused by the stars, OK.

MM: you mean a tangent that everyone is involved in

DE: THats ridcuuloos

DE: *That’s ridiculous

JL: yeah

JL: but seriously

JL: I’m going to use grammatically correct sentences to express how much sincerity I have.

Razi420: I’m a djinn who’s friends with a vampire, a devil, and a werewolf who happens to be the sheriff of a town. We are not good judges of ridiculous.

JL: I just want you two to have a good time. You are coming to us for advice and I know that’s hard for you. You are making yourself vulnerable. I’m really proud of you.

MM: ...

MM: Thanks

MM: It means a lot to me

DE: Why does JD get to be the one to say they’re proud of you?

DE: Shouldn’t that be for the person with seniority here.

JL: thats where ur wrong bucko

JL: the question here is one of gayness

JL: i am more dimensions of gay than u can possibly imagine

JL: thus i am the one whomst is allowed to delegate pride

DE: Also Razi, if it is stars, how does knocking on wood do shit.

JL: oh dam

MM: Now we know what gets Diego worked up enough to swear

Razi420: Photosynthesis uses light from stars, photosynthesis makes wood. Wood is directly related to starlight.

MM: But anyway thanks for the advice

DE: And here is the part where JD asks for a favor.

DE: Any minute now

DE: Also Razi, that is so patently ridiculous that I’m not going to debate about it anymore.

JL: Mac, you don’t owe me anything, just you two have a good time. If you two are happy, then I’m happy. That’s all..

JL: Also, if you claim I was helpful in anyway, shape, or form, I will deny it immediately.

MM: I expect nothing less

JL: i got a wild child image to keep up cant have this sincerity bullshit

JL: cool people dont have feelings right

JL: we just have leather jackets cool shades and smirks plastered on our faces

Razi420: Diego, if you refuse to debate about it, that means I win.

DE: iifwood is sending these tsingnals that means the signals would have to ravel fsaster than light to reach the starts and back with enough time to actually effet change

Razi420: Oooo, someone’s misspelling words, that means they’re angry.

JL: since everyone is here i think this is a good opportunity to do something ive always wanted to do

DE: The nearest star is over 4 light years away, how does it affect change on Earth.

JL: they use waves made of bofa rather than light

MM: JD

DE: You can’t get me, JD.

DE: I know this.

Razi420: what is bofa?

Several people are typing…

#havenfall #havenfall is for lovers #mackenzie hunt #fancfic #my writing

22 notes · View notes

doggonneit · 7 years

Text

The Last Red Scribble | Part 2/2

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing/Characters: Kuroo/Tsukishima, Shimizu

Rating: T for Teen

Warnings: Abortion reference

A.N. This is the final part of the KuroTsuki Gift Exchange 2017, written for @moonislander on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy!

Italics is Tsukishima. Bold is Kuroo.

[Read on AO3]

Tuesday PM

(11:02) so i might be dumb

(11:05) If you have the mental capacity to figure that out, you paradoxically can’t be that dumb.

(11:06) i might not play in the match on thurs (11:06) i punched a guy

(11:07) Why the fuck would you do that.

(11:08) im a rational guy (11:08) but when things happen (11:09) they happen

(11:10) I changed my mind. (11:10) I’m not letting Tobio anywhere near you. You are the worst role model for him.

(11:10) hear me out (11:11) its good i swear

(11:12) …

(11:12) so at practice this newbie kept staring at akaashi (11:12) creepy but harmless (11:12) but then the dudes hand started wandering (11:13) so i socked him in the jaw (11:13) gotta keep the bros boyfriend safe right

(11:15) I’m sure Akaashi appreciates it.

(11:16) nah but bokuto did lololol

(11:16) The question is, how many laps did your coach make you run?

(11:17) dude i ran till i hurled (11:17) make me feel better? (11:17) *sad face emoji*

(11:20) The newly discovered dinosaur fossils in China have changed the way scientists understand the evolution of feathers.

(11:22) huh (11:22) not quite what i had in mind but cool

(11:23) It’s my job.

(11:23) youre a geneticist who collects dino dna from amber (11:23) YOURE GOING TO BRING THEM BACK

(11:23) I’m a research assistant.

(11:24) doesnt mean you dont know how

(11:24) Amber DNA is too deteriorated for any type of resurrection.

(11:24) but if you could (11:25) would you

(11:25) Yes.

(11:26) million dollar question which dino though

(11:27) Velociraptor, duh.

(11:27) not a t rex?

(11:28) T-rexes were lumpy potatoes with useless arms. (11:28) Velociraptors had claws on their hind legs for disembowelling prey. (11:28) You tell me which one’s superior.

(11:29) youre so fired up its great (11:29) keep talking dinos to me

(11:31) I would but I have articles to type up before tomorrow.

(11:31) what an aDULTY ADULT (11:31) doing his JOB AND HAVING PROSPECTS

(11:33) Do you mock young and successful people because it temporarily alleviates the worthlessness you feel on a daily basis?

(11:35) savage af

(11:35) :))))

(11:35) i never shouldve went to uni (11:36) dietetics then sports med? (11:36) regret tastes like ash in my mouth (11:36) fucking murder me

(11:37) That was very poetic.

(11:38) you like poetry?

(11:38) I don’t mind it.

(11:39) hypothetically (11:39) could bad poetry seduce you

(11:40) Hypothetically (11:40) No.

(11:40) damn

(11:41) I bet you’re the type of person to fall for sappy crap like that.

(11:41) damn right (11:41) in elementary school a girl wrote me a poem (11:42) we dated all the way from recess to lunch

(11:43) Your longest relationship, huh?

(11:44) all from a shitty roses are red poem (11:44) i bet you can do better (11:45) seduce me o seductive seducer

(11:47) Congratulations, I have literally never been less turned off in my entire life.

(11:48) to reiterate (11:48) 1. i am dumb (11:48) 2. regret tastes like ash in my mouth

(11:49) Mmm. (11:50) You know what else tastes like ash? (11:51) *image attached*

(11:53) oh baby (11:54) you could never taste like regret (11:54) now take that cigarette out of your mouth

(11:54) Yes, daddy.

(11:55) hjlfkllkkl (11:56) okay i need you to stop fucking with me its bad for my heart

(11:56) :)))))

Wednesday PM

(8:13) tsukki you cant just do that

(8:14) Do what?

(8:14) i almost rolled into an early grave

(8:14) I have no idea what you’re talking about.

(8:14) do you know what its like to turn around and see the brightest blueberry eyes in the entire universe

(8:15) Oh, you mean Akiteru taking Tobio to the recreation centre?

(8:15) I SAW STARS IN HIS EYES TSUKKI

(8:16) Tobio said he had a lot of fun. (8:16) I’ve never seen him so animated before.

(8:17) your son is adorable (8:17) i dont have favourites but hes my favourite

(8:17) Don’t spoil him.

(8:18) no promises (8:18) your blueberry son is everything that is good and pure in this world (8:18) im so proud of you

(8:19) Me??

(8:19) well you made him

(8:19) You must’ve slept through Biology in high school because making a child is a two-person job.

(8:20) clearly tobio got his good looks from you

(8:20) We literally look nothing alike.

(8:21) are you telling me tobio has two beautiful parents (8:21) lies (8:22) pics or it didnt happen

(8:22) ...

(8:23) i just realised how that sounded (8:23) and i in no way meant to ask you for a picture of you sleeping with tobios mother

(8:27) I have never (8:27) Laughed so hard in my entire life (8:28) I choked on my fucking tea.

(8:28) whoopsss

(8:29) But since you asked (8:29) *image attached*

(8:29) please dont tell me thats actually a pic of you two fucking (8:29) because i would be really weirded out

(8:30) That’s not a picture of us fucking.

(8:30) im trusting you okay (8:31) OH MY GOODNESS (8:31) AHAHAHAHAH (8:31) SHE IS SO BEAUTIFULLL

(8:31) She gets that a lot.

(8:32) im having a hard time trying to figure out if im jealous of you or her

(8:32) No point. We’re not together.

(8:33) i figured if you were you wouldve said something earlier (8:33) so let me guess (8:33) she cheated on you

(8:34) No.

(8:35) you cheated on her

(8:35) No. (8:35) Do I look like a cheater?

(8:35) hey i dont stereotype

(8:35) There was no cheating. Just unfortunate circumstances.

(8:36) one night stand accidental baby?

(8:36) Yeah, close enough.

(8:37) thats tough (8:37) it happened to my older sister too (8:37) but she ended up marrying the guy (8:37) they were like fuck yeah lets be a family (8:38) so now im the proud uncle of a literal ball of snot

(8:39) That was Akiteru when he held Tobio for the first time. (8:39) He couldn’t stop crying. (8:39) It was gross.

(8:40) dude was holding the future in his hands (8:40) of course he was crying

(8:40) You cried when you held your literal ball of snot for the first time, didn’t you?

(8:41) THIS ISNT ABOUT ME ITS ABOUT YOU (8:41) BACK TO YOUR ONE NIGHT STAND

(8:41) You need to be a level five friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

(8:41) well okay (8:41) what level am i at now

(8:43) Zero.

(8:44) what (8:44) how can you say that (8:44) we had an anniversary (8:44) your brother loves me (8:45) your son adores me

(8:45) My brother what now.

(8:45) did i forget to mention?? (8:46) we bonded over vball (8:46) now were texting buddies (8:46) we talk about you ALL THE TIME

(8:48) You’re lying. (8:48) Akiteru would never do that to me.

(8:48) you had a dinosaur nightlight until you were eleven

(8:49) … (8:49) Excuse me. (8:49) I have a murder to commit.

(8:49) tell akiteru i said hi!!

Thursday AM

(9:23) WISH US LUKC TSUUKIIIII

(9:24) You’re… Bokuto. The Bset Freind Foreber.

(9:24) YAEH YOU RMEMEBR ME (9:24) I STOEL KUROOS PHONE LOL (9:24) WE GOT OUR MATHC TODAY (9:24) HES PLAYIGN TOO

(9:25) Even after he punched that guy in the face?

(9:25) COAHC IS A GOOD UPTSANDING MAN (9:25) WHO DOESTN TOLERATE SEZXUAL ASSUALT (9:25) I ALSO MAY HAVE THROWN A TANTRNM ON COUTR

(9:26) I’m impressed. Good job.

(9:26) WE’RE RARIGN TO GO (9:26) LOOK AT US WE LOOKS O GOOD (9:27) *image attached*

(9:27) Yeah, you blurs look really good.

(9:27) OKAY OKAY WAIT (9:28) *image attached* (9:28) AKAASGHHI TOOK TAHT ONE (9:28) AWESOME AYYY

(9:29) Are those (9:29) Sleeveless red jerseys (9:29) ?

(9:29) YAEEHHHH (9:29) WAIT THISS IS EVEN BETTER (9:29) CHEKC THIS OUT (9:30) HOLD ON

(9:30) *image attached*

(9:30) ...

(9:30) GROUP FLEX

(9:30) I

(9:31) LOOKGNI SEXY SMEZY RIGHT (9:31) ;)))))))))

(9:32) No.

(9:32) LIAR I BET YOU’RE BLUSHIGN

(9:32) Go warm up before your match.

(9:32) IM TELLIGN KUROO!!!!!!

Thursday PM

(3:16) a lil birdie told me (3:16) youre into (3:16) BICEPS

(3:17) It’s a lie.

(3:17) so this does nothing for you (3:17) *image attached*

(3:17) ...

(3:17) oikawa and akaashi (3:18) slender and toned specimens (3:18) 7.5/10

(3:18) You have got to be kidding me.

(3:18) dont be shy no judgement here (3:18) *image attached* (3:18) terushima and ushiwaka (3:19) terushimas built but ushiwakas got power going (3:19) 8/10 and 9/10

(3:19) I can’t believe you right now.

(3:19) *image attached* (3:19) these are bokutos (3:19) amazing right my boy is STACKED (3:20) 10/10

(3:19) Please stop.

(3:20) the real killers though (3:20) *image attached* (3:20) IWAIZUMI (3:21) look at that (3:21) he could choke me and id thank him 12/10

(3:22) Are you done with the meat parade?

(3:22) just one more (3:22) *image attached* (3:22) ME (3:23) what do you think??

(3:23) I’m not stroking your already inflated ego.

(3:24) i know for a fact youre not a blushing virgin (3:24) now stop being shy and rate me

(3:24) You’re ridiculous. (3:24) Fine. (3:24) Solid muscle. Good definition. (3:24) 9/10

(3:25) only 9?? (3:25) im hurt im insulted (3:25) would it make a difference if i used a filter

(3:26) Why not.

(3:26) *image attached*

(3:26) Superb musculature, clearly the result of endless hours of hard work. (3:26) 10/10

(3:26) i knew it (3:27) i gotta go rub this in oikawas face (3:27) he will rue the day he ever thought he was better built than me (3:27) text later okay

(3:27) Kuroo.

(3:27) yes dear

(3:27) You forgot to tell me. (3:28) Did you win the match?

(3:28) YEAH LOL

(3:28) Congratulations.

(3:28) thanks babe (3:28) the thought of you kept me going strong (3:28) *heart eyes emoji*

Friday PM

(10:23) i wondered what’d gotten tsukki so riled up (10:23) and then i saw all the biceps (10:23) loolllll

(10:25) im intrigued (10:25) who is this mysterious person with tsukkis phone

(10:25) ahh i’m yamaguchi (10:25) tsukki’s best friend (10:26) i may or may not have borrowed his phone when he wasn’t looking

(10:26) devious (10:26) i like it

(10:26) ur going to like this a lot more

(10:26) oho?

(10:26) it’s friday night (10:27) which means it’s karaoke night (10:27) with everyone from work

(10:27) there wouldnt happen to be (10:27) alcohol (10:27) involved would there

(10:28) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(10:28) you bring great news friend (10:28) so what do i need to sacrifice to get a vid of tsukki (10:28) doing a drunken rendition of my heart will go on

(10:29) that’s a big request (10:29) tsukki hates performing (10:19) especially to cliches

(10:30) okay but you do have the ability to make him to do so

(10:30) that depends on what ur willing to sacrifice

(10:30) you ARE devious (10:30) all right what do you want

(10:32) ur number and ur firstborn

(10:33) im devoted to tsukki just saying (10:33) firstborn no problem

(10:33) i want ur number bc i want to keep u accountable (10:33) not bc i’m interested in u, u loser

(10:34) i can see why you two are best friends

(10:34) we have a deal??

(10:34) fuck yeah lets go

(10:34) gimme fifteen minutes (10:34) tsukki’s already tipsy on strawberry daiquiris

(10:34) this is gonna be so good (10:34) lets go lets go lets go

(10:53) i am (10:53) a GOD (10:53) *video attached*

(10:57) AHAHAHAHA (10:57) this is (10:57) the second best day (10:57) of my life (10:57) omg is this real its beautiful

(10:58) he is SO BAD, RIGHT

(10:58) is he better sober

(10:59) no but he can rap sober

(11:00) are you fucking with me

(11:01) nopee

(11:01) what do i need to sacrifice to see that

(11:01) u couldn’t afford it (11:02) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(11:02) worth a shot (11:02) youre a true bro anyway

(11:03) why thank yoyiijkpll

(11:03) you okay bud

(11:03) What teh fuck

(11:03) tsukki?? (11:04) babe (11:04) so me and your bestie bonded too

(11:04) Waht the actual fuvk (11:04) I’m too drukn to typpe (11:04) You fuckign pick up whenm I call

(11:05) wait what

Mysterious Phone Man Tsukki is calling…

“Uhh… hello?”

“I… I am going to… gouge your eyes out.”

“Holy shit, you’re slurring. You’re soo drunk.”

“Hi, Kuroo!”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki!”

“Kuroo, you shit. I sh… should’ve known you’d do something like this.”

“Hey, Yamaguchi was the one who filmed you!”

“Ohh no, don’t blame me, you enabler!"

“You know what, I’m not even sorry. That was wicked. Oh my god, I’m definitely in love.”

“What a complete dick… hole.”

“Aw babe, you’re so eloquent when you’re drunk. What did Yamaguchi give you, hmm?"

“JÄEGERBOMBS, WHOO!”

“Fucking disgush-- disgusting.”

“Then why’d you drink it, you dork?”

“Ughh…"

“Don’t forget you owe me, Kuroo!”

“Gonna kill you both.”

“I dare you. Come to Tobio’s practice tomorrow and we’ll have a fucking throwdown.”

“I’m going to be so hungover.”

“I double dare you.”

"Fucking… fine.”

“Wow, Kuroo. You’re really good at riling Tsukki up, you know that?”

“It’s a special talent. Now you boys enjoy the rest of your night. I’m going to watch that rendition one more time and laugh myself to sleep.”

“FUCK YOU, KUROO!”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

“Aww, you guys.”

“YOU FUCKING--”

Click.

Saturday AM

(7:46) GOOD MORNINGGG (7:46) THROWDOWN AT 10 (7:46) DONT FORGET

Mysterious Phone Man Tsukki is calling…

“Uh-oh. Am I in trouble?”

“I fucking hate you.”

“Soo… your head is pulsing, your throat is parched and you want to die in a hole?"

“I was unconscious. Unable to feel pain. Now I’m back in the world of the living.”

“Don't be mad. If you drag your ass down to the rec centre, I’ll get coffee for you.”

“...”

“Is that a yes?”

“Large black.”

“Black coffee? Are you serious?”

“It matches my soul.”

“O-kay, anything else?”

“Strawberry muffin.”

“Your soul confuses me.”

“And something for Tobio.”

“No shit, duh. Akiteru?”

“He can starve.”

“Still haven’t forgiven him for telling me about the dinosaur nightlight, huh?”

“And I’ll never forgive you if you bring it up again.”

“Bring what up again?”

“Good boy.”

“Can we revisit that conversation about kinks again?”

Click.

Saturday AM

(9:47) ive got coffee and muffins (9:47) hot chocolate for tobio (9:47) and a latte for akiteru bc im not an ass

(9:52) Fuck.

(9:52) i know youre mad at akiteru but no need to get hissy

(9:52) It’s not that. (9:52) We can’t make it to practice anymore.

(9:53) ????

(9:53) Tobio’s mother is here.

(9:53) whoaa what

(9:53) I’m really sorry. (9:53) Especially since you bought breakfast. (9:54) I’ll pay you back.

(9:54) dont worry about it lol (9:54) ill share it with the other guys

(9:54) Are you mad?

(9:55) kinda disappointed but not at you (9:55) its not your fault

(9:55) I really am sorry. (9:56) I need to go, but I’ll text you later okay?

(9:56) no need to stress (9:57) practice is about to start anyway

Saturday PM

(1:28) Are you free to talk now?

(1:29) kuroos sperm bank (1:29) you squeeze em we freeze em

(1:29) That is disgusting.

(1:30) tsukki its time for the talk you never got when you hit puberty (1:30) what you must realise is that masturbation is healthy and natural

(1:30) We are not having this conversation. Ever.

(1:31) babe dont be embarrassed (1:31) one day youll have to have the same convo with tobio lololol

(1:31) Please don’t remind me.

(1:31) you doing okay

(1:32) I’ve had a shitty morning.

(1:33) id also be in a bad mood if i were hungover and my ex showed up uninvited

(1:33) She’s not (1:33) Whatever.

(1:33) not... your ex?

(1:34) She can’t be my ex if we never went out.

(1:34) idk you had a one night stand with her

(1:34) It’s complicated.

(1:35) have i reached level five friend yet

(1:35) …

(1:35) im here to listen

(1:37) I guess you might be a level five friend.

(1:37) hell yeah

(1:37) I can’t believe this. I don’t even know you.

(1:38) im hurt (1:38) you just blessed me as your level five friend

(1:40) I don’t know where to start.

(1:40) lets start small (1:40) howd you meet her

(1:40) Shimizu was my senior in high school. (1:40) We weren’t close but we kept in touch after she graduated. (1:40) Study tips and stuff like that.

(1:41) thats cute (1:41) sounds innocent

(1:41) It wasn’t ever anything more than that. (1:42) We just (1:43) There’s a lot to learn about yourself when you’re a teenager. (1:43) And we thought we could help each other out.

(1:44) seems like you two trusted each other a lot

(1:44) We did. (1:44) Do. (1:44) But there was never a relationship. (1:45) We slept together but neither of us really wanted it.

(1:46) what do you mean?

(1:46) I’m gay. (1:46) Shimizu’s ace. (1:46) We both cried afterwards. (1:47) Pathetic, right.

(1:47) i dont think thats pathetic at all (1:47) you bared your vulnerabilities to each other (1:47) and learned something about yourselves in the process (1:48) it takes a lot of courage to do something like that

(1:49) I guess.

(1:50) so tobio was the result of that huh

(1:50) Yeah. (1:50) It was bad. (1:50) Our families were so pissed at each other. (1:51) They talked about abortion and marriage and all that shit.

(1:51) i dont envy you at all (1:51) that mustve been a complete shit storm and a half

(1:51) Shimizu and I considered a platonic marriage. (1:52) But we didn’t want to do something neither of us wanted again.

(1:52) so wedding nay but baby yay

(1:52) Tobio lived with Shimizu. (1:52) Until she got a job offer in America. (1:53) She thought a new country would’ve been too much for him. (1:53) You know how that turned out.

(1:54) stomping sandcastles and chucking buckets (1:54) i still think tobios a champ

(1:55) Dickwad.

(1:55) i love you too babe (1:55) but seriously you and tobio have been doing a lot better (1:56) hes talking to you and his teacher said he was playing with other kids

(1:56) Tobio had (1:56) He’d settled. (1:56) He’d looked at me. (1:57) But one glance at Shimizu today and (1:58) It was like I didn’t exist again. (1:58) Fuck. (1:58) I can’t do this.

(1:58) hey hey hey (1:58) tobio was just excited to see his mum (1:58) four months right (1:59) he wouldve missed her like crazy (1:59) he wants kisses and cuddles (1:59) doesnt mean hes forgotten his old man

(2:00) First of all, I’m not old.

(2:02) ... (2:02) second of all??

(2:02) I don’t have a second of all.

(2:03) LOLOLOL

(2:03) Shut up, I’m emotional right now.

(2:03) naww babe (2:03) youre just overthinking things (2:03) talk to tobio (2:03) hes five but he understands shit (2:04) tell him you love him just as much as his mum does (2:04) then throw in a vball reference or something idk

(2:04) You’re so helpful.

(2:04) even if tobio doesnt understand everything (2:04) verbalising will help sort out your emotions

(2:05) I thought you were doing Sports Medicine, not Psychiatry.

(2:05) i am an old man with decades of wisdom

(2:05) There it is.

(2:05) what?

(2:05) STRANGER DANGER.

(2:06) i cant believe (2:06) i walked right into that one

(2:06) Lol.

(2:06) feeling better?

(2:07) Yeah. (2:07) Thanks for listening to me vent. (2:07) It did help clear my head.

(2:08) thats what level five friends are for

(2:09) I’m still sorry about missing practice this morning. (2:09) Can I make it up to you?

(2:09) how about (2:09) lets do this properly (2:10) and go on a real date

(2:11) I (2:11) You want that?

(2:11) youre intelligent witty and hilarious (2:11) you love your son and would do anything for him (2:12) plus youre the most beautiful person ive ever seen (2:12) theres no reason i wouldnt want to

(2:12) Wow.

(2:12) thats a very lacklustre reaction

(2:13) No, I’m just (2:13) Surprised.

(2:13) good or bad surprised?

(2:13) Good surprised. (2:13) I didn’t expect you to be so straightforward.

(2:14) i have literally been calling you babe and sweetheart and dear

(2:14) I thought flirtation was an integral part of your personality. (2:14) Am I wrong to assume you flirt with everyone?

(2:14) well no (2:15) i joke around a lot (2:15) but i mean it with you (2:15) youre amazing in every way

(2:16) I really don’t know what to say to that.

(2:16) how does this sound (2:16) you me and tobio (2:16) at the park tomorrow (2:16) picnic and volleyball

(2:18) You’d want Tobio there?

(2:18) of course hes my favourite (2:18) and also because hes important to you

(2:18) Nice save.

(2:18) so picnic?

(2:18) Yeah. (2:18) I’d like that. (2:19) Tobio’s excited too. (2:19) He says he’ll help make riceballs.

(2:19) thats the cutest fucken thing ive heard all day (2:19) BOKTUO BRO HIGH FIVE ME IM GOING ON A PICNIC WITH TSUKKI AND TOBIO TOMORROW ADN IVE NEVER BEEN THIS EIXCITED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

(2:19) Kuroo.

(2:19) uhh (2:20) wrong number (2:21) fuck it NO REGRETS

Sunday AM

(9:12) Hello, is this Kuroo?

(9:15) yeess (9:15) whos this

(9:17) My name is Shimizu Kiyoko.

(9:17) wait as in (9:17) tsukki and tobios shimizu??

(9:18) Yes.

(9:18) uhh hey (9:18) not that i dont want to talk to you (9:18) but why do you have my number

(9:19) I took it from Tsukishima’s phone. (9:19) Our last few conversations he mentioned your name and it piqued my curiosity.

(9:19) tsukki talks about me?

(9:20) He doesn’t think you’re a nuisance. (9:20) That’s very rare.

(9:20) what can i say (9:20) im charming when i want to be

(9:20) Tobio is quite taken with you. (9:21) That’s also very rare. (9:21) You’re the exception to the rule; I’m sure you understand why I’m curious.

(9:22) i guess but i dont know if theres much to say (9:22) we all just like volleyball

(9:22) Your influence helped smooth out their relationship.

(9:22) it wasnt much (9:22) i just mentioned vball and things went from there (9:22) it was all them

(9:23) You helped them find common ground in their lives. (9:23) I know how difficult it was for them beforehand.

(9:23) they wouldve figured things out eventually (9:23) theyre amazing as they are

(9:24) You sound fond of them.

(9:24) i am (9:24) tobios a good kid (9:24) and tsukki makes me laugh (9:24) mostly at my own expense (9:24) but i like that he doesnt hold back

(9:25) Tsukishima holds you in similar thoughts. (9:25) He’d never admit it but I know him well enough.

(9:25) so this conversation (9:25) are you basically sussing out whether or not im a piece of shit

(9:25) Yes.

(9:25) how am i doing so far

(9:27) You’re fine.

(9:27) oh thank god

(9:27) I don’t understand. You sound relieved?

(9:27) well youre tobios mum (9:27) and tsukki has a lot of respect for you (9:28) so your opinions pretty important

(9:30) I’m surprised. Not many others would consider that.

(9:31) idk it makes sense

(9:32) I’m glad Tsukishima found someone who accepts our unusual circumstances. (9:32) I was afraid my decision to keep Tobio would affect his future relationships.

(9:32) tsukki wouldnt care about people like that anyway (9:33) hed give tobio the world before he gave it to anyone else (9:33) but who wouldnt for a kid like that

(9:35) I think the same, but I may be biased.

(9:35) tobios earnest and hardworking (9:36) determined to challenge himself (9:36) you raised a good kid

(9:36) Thank you. That means a lot to me.

(9:36) its the truth (9:36) so i have passed your inspection or nah

(9:39) There’s a lot I want to say but I’ll keep it brief for both our sakes.

(9:39) yikes

(9:40) I care for Tsukishima and Tobio so much more than I can put into words. (9:40) I hope it means something that I think you’re good for them.

(9:41) oh (9:41) yeah (9:41) yeah it does (9:41) thanks (9:41) im not eloquent enough for this (9:42) but i care a lot for them too (9:42) and ill take care of them (9:42) for as long as theyll have me (9:42) for as long as youll let me

(9:44) I can see why Tsukishima and Tobio like you.

(9:44) tsukki only likes me for my biceps

(9:44) Funny. (9:44) Tsukishima is actually reading this over my shoulder.

(9:45) uh oh (9:45) is he sulking now

(9:45) A little bit. (9:45) He does have a weakness for muscles.

(9:46) I KNEW IT (9:46) AHAHAHAHAHA (9:46) hes never going to live this down

(9:47) Oh, I shouldn’t have let that slip. (9:47) Tsukishima’s mad at me now.

(9:47) bless his sensitive soul

(9:47) He’s telling Tobio to spike a ball into your face.

(9:48) what

(9:48) Tobio might actually do it.

(9:48) shimizu (9:48) i know were merely acquaintances (9:49) but help

(9:50) Strawberry shortcake. (9:50) It’s Tsukishima’s favourite.

(9:50) thats adorable (9:50) i owe you one

(9:50) Then take care of them. (9:50) Or I’ll take care of you.

(9:51) wh

(9:51) Have fun on your date. (9:51) Tobio will tell me all about it. (9:51) :)

#kurotsukiexchange #kuroo tetsurou #tsukishima kei #kurotsuki #haikyuu!!#hqfanfic #doggoneithq

22 notes · View notes

bangtanhug · 7 years

Note

What is this talk about Taehyung being treated... differently? ... if it's true, @bighit WYD? I hope this isn't true. BigHit fam, please take care of them -no one get's left out!! And Taehyung -be YOU MAN! ARMYs will accept you no matter what. Also, can we give Taehyung the most amount of LOVE for his upcoming birthday?! Like let's tweet the hell outta it and let Taehyung know

hmmm…honestly i saw threads about it and read many - many opinions about the issue but…hmm..its not that i dont have my own opinion, its just that i have mixed feelings so i stood on the side line and analyze the unfolded scene right now. However, i will try my best to answer with cold head, without being blinded by the emotions and without skipping the details !

if im not mistaken, you’re referring to THIS twitter post which brought the issue to the spotlight. First i will react to this, if its alright with you…

1. Negative fortune: I won’t lie, I didn’t like how his fortune sounded, how his was the worst one. Tae’s facial expressiond darkened immediately after he got it, he re-read that paper for many times and even Jimin had to step in to comfort his friend ( when he said: these papers are fake) - i hated that part, that’s the truth; because as a fan i don’t like when any of the members feel the way how tae felt at that moment. on the other hand,we don’t know if this was made by a real fortune teller ( they are really popular in Korea and their famous ones are highly respected) or a fake one. If this was said by a REAL one, then you know…it might be true ¯\_(ツ)_/¯? We all believe in different things, some people says some stuffs are true some says it’s just brain control … i don’t have the right to decide this, this depends on the individuals. But let’s assume Tae believes in stuff like this, this was made by a real, good, fortune teller then is it really bad if he knows what he can expect next year and be cautious about his acts? maybe with that he can protect himself? …But what if it’s just a fake, random one?- then Tae will be the victim of this mind game and just because of this useless pressure, he will fail. I don’t know if I expressed my doubt perfectly, but I’m conflicted to say anything. If I were the staff, after receiving the boys’ fortune and seeing how there is only one bad one which might actually hurt the person, I would ask for a new one from somebody else OR I wouldn’t even hand them out to the members, instead I would look for a different topic or idea which would fill those minutes in the DVD.

2. Shaved Ice: well, this part was freaking confusing?! :O I have no idea why Taehyung was the only one who didn’t get his portion, why he had to wait or what really happened. At first, I thought they played games and he lost so this was his punishment, HOWEVER, on the dvd they didn’t show any parts like this. This eating part basically had no context o.o we just witnessed how the members feed him. A few seconds later Tae was eating watermelon alone so here is my concern about this issue. WAS Taehyung on diet at that time so he asked for a few bites? Or did Tae ordered watermelon instead of shaved ice, but he had to wait longer to get it since the staff had to look for ir or not? Tae ate deliciously, he seemed eager to get those bite from the members ( he swallowed so hard to get Jimin and Seokjin spoon too!) so then why didn’t he get shaved ice? this shouldn’t be a mystery but this part is 100% odd. For me, it seems he was “accidentally” left out and it wasn’t Taehyung’s choice since he was hungry and he wanted that damn food. However, we can’t judge openly here either because as I mentioned, we have no content here!!! the boys might play before and they might made an order based on rock-paper-scissord… really, I have no idea what happened here.

3. BT21 character. Until this post, I didn’t hear about this…neither read anything negative about Tata’s profile. I’m lack of knowledge in this topic and because of that I don’t want to make quick assumptions since I don’t have enough information for that. If it’s true then this move was disgusting from bt21′s part and from the company’s part too if they said their okay to that. If it’s not true then this is just another false information which tries to hype up the real issue. If anybody knows more about this, then please tell me!

Now about how Taehyung was mistreated. I think this topic’s roots is from the pre-debut/ debut days when Taehyung was the hidden 7th member. Still today we have no idea why Taehyung was pushed aside. He couldn’t appear in the boys’ vlog - he had to sit aside, his back was only seen on those pictures which Jimin uploaded to the Internet because he couldn’t be revealed until the press conference. Because bighit never adressed the issue we can only assume things

- this was maybe a marketing move from Bang pd. Since Tae was always handsome and very charming, the fact that he was hidden just put this mysterious aura around him and made the expectation bigger.

- if it’s not marketing move then WHY?!?! why did he have to hide? why was he pushed aside? Tae mentioned it before that he was actually hurt and jealous because of this. He said he always watched teh boys from behind, feeling left out and sad for being alone. He watched teh other members vlog and while teh world heard about the others nobody knew him.:( I wish one day we would know the real answer for this….I just feel like this was threw under the blanket …

The alien concept….I think it was partly pushed by the company, even they called him 4D and the members too - but also it was partly pushed by the fans. For a long time Taehyung was quiet about the topic however 2 years ago ( i think it was 2 but it might be 3? i dont remember the accurate year) Tae said that he doesn’t like when people call him 4D/alien. Since he was upset about it we/fans stopped calling him in these names. But you might notice that sometimes it still appears in the DVD captions and now with this Tata character too. Now this is an interesting case, you know why? We all know how Taehyung matured and how special he is - he doesn’t use his left brain that much, instead his right brain functions moer which gaves him skills and make him a little bit “different” from the other members. it’s a good thing, this means he relies on his instincts, artistic side more - for example im sure you witnessed many genius Taehyung moments or saw them in fan videos. Tae isn’t stupid, his view of life is very interesting. While others overthink a problem, he would come up with a solution which about nobody would ever think. This part of him was “mistranslated” by bighit and by the fans in the early days. Even namjoon says cutely how Tae is a dummy who you cant hate just love, but also he is actually a genius. I’m not sure if bighit purposely still attempts this or it’s just a mistake of their behalf.

I feel like we don’t have enough information to judge since there are many things which are hidden by bighit. We don’t know the whole story, we just see glimpses of it…. but because of that, i think some explanation would be nice. Btw the hashtag was partly ignored because of Jonghyun…it wasn’t the right time to do this and for a few other days it will be still pushed aside by fans becaue everyone is just extremely sensitive right now…. i don’t think we should sleep on this, but i think we have to find a way to hear the answers to our questions. Of course the best method would be if we could ask Tae carefully during fansigns but we don’t have the chance for that now … If anybody hear about this more or if you want to share your opinion, I’m all ears just let’s do it polietly, carefully like always

#sorry for my grammar mistakes !!...#reply

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kasunex · 7 years

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Yesterday me and @heiligelanze were bored so I made this trash complaining about P4. Don’t read if you like P4. Unless you are very chill about people hating on it.

we talk about why p4 is not good.

#1 - Boring characters

Yosuke: Wah wah small town is borin (why doesn't he just plan to move when he's older), also homophobic in way that suggests writers thought we were too. neck is too long. Also not closeted >:/

Yu Narukami: Stupid name, stupid design, stupid fuckin face, I hate him, no character arc or character at all, Gary Stu. Boring peice of shit. Also. Not GAY Enough >:/

Yukiko: Boring. Thinks she's trapped into being innkeeper when not at all. Never tells parents she doesn't want to or makes any attempt to change anything. Only other character trait is laughs (annoying)

Chie: Guyz I like kung fu n meat isnt that quirky, (bc apparently women don't like meat?????) also not gay or trans >:/

Kanji: Almost good. But misleads to think he is good representative media pushing artistic gay man strugling against stereotypes that gays rnt tough. Actually about gender roles but not well explored. Hinted to be bi at best. Atlus u fuckin cowards let me be gay for once >>>>>>>>>://////////////////

Rise: 2 kawaii. Gets annoying. Unwarranted, undeserved crush on main character you cant say no to. (But unlike p3 game doesn't make u with her but we will get to THAT LATER FUCKING P4G)

Naoto: Too good for game. Shoulda been trans tho.

Teddie: Remove or kill. Annoying af. Tries to steal ur girl. Major mysognist (game is like lol)

Mitsuo: Insulting to ugly people and to gamer fanbase

Moorako: Insulting to ugly people. Hahah who cares hes dead he was uggo lol

Hanako: Fat ppl r gross rite guys lollolollolllollolololollollololl haha she thinks she's atrratcievew lolololo fat pppl thinkin their hot lololololololo

Kashiwagi: She's old but busted except she looks 30 and treated as gross icky old woman when real teens would be like "I wanna bang dat shit on de desk"

Dojima: Ok I guess

Nanako: Emotional manipulation. doesn't die. unrealistically precious and mature.

Adachi: Presents as awkward relatable BUT NO ACTUALLY EVIL OVER THE TOP EVIL MUHAHAHA because he couldn't just be a cool guy with a darker side, had to be ANIME CRAZY EVIL DID IT FOR THE LULZ

Namatame: Not built up enough, comes fuckiin out of nowhere

Izanami: Comes even more da faq outta nowhere (GUYS THAT GAS STATION ATTENDENT SHAKING YOUR HAND OBVS EQUALS EVIL OR PLOT SIGNIFICANT LOL) also rips off Nyx and does it shitty

Ameno-Sagiri: Comes even MORE da faq outtta nowhere and vanishes da faq outta nowhere, also irrelevant to plot and meaningless distraction

Margret: Boring af, no personality at all, Elizabeth was more fun

Saki: Underdeveloped bitch, supposed to be so sad when dies despite not being shown for anythin but bitch also supposed to feel bad for yosuke when she dies even tho she hated him and he would have been rejected anyway seriously wtf

Marie: COMPLETELY IRREDEMABLE GARBAGE FIRE OF PANDERING TRASH. SHOEHORNED INTO PLOT WHEN COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS AND IRRELEVANT. GAME FORCES HER AS LOVE INTEREST WHEN SHE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO STEAL WORST GIRL FROM YUKIKO. ANNOYING TSUNDERE STEREOTYPE. MAKES ME WANT TO KILL SELF.

#2 - Shit plot

Boring af. Crappy tonal issues all the way thru. WAY TO SLICE OF LIFE WHO FUCKIN CARES.

HEY IM A TRANSFER STUDENT JUST LIKE LAST GAME LOL. Everyone loves me immediately even tho im a lil bitch.

Oh noes murder of some random chick we never met so sad ;~;

Meet Chie n Yukiko both boring af, immediately like me

Yosuke is trash can, Mitsuo is creppy and wierd b/c gamers r uggo and uggo ppl are socially inept and suck

Bitchy girl shows up and then dies

Yosuke does1n't get dick wet (he wouldn't anyways but still) so sad

See TV world, meet worst character in ORGINAL game (assult of bear puns)

fight dumb fuckin demon frog bc yosuke is bored (wtf is dis shit)

Chie is gay bUT NOT REALLY

Boss of dungeon is too hard, someone went missing or something idk who cares

Meet gay but nOT REALLY

Chases u bc u judge him but NOT REALLY

Gets kidnapped, gay dungeon bUT NOT REALLY actually about gender and cuz he likes cute stuff means he's gay STUPID but actually he's not because gays r icky lol

Campin time yaya the girls can't cook pffffft a WOMAN CANT COOK TF WOW WOW SO FUNNY A WOMAN CANT COOK WTF WHAT TEH FUCK and also HANAKO IS FAT AND That's' bad

HOMOPHOBIA TIME LOL KANJI IS GAY ARE YOSUKE AND YU SAFE IN A TENT WITH HIM? FIND OUT AT 11

Sexism next day when Yosuke is like I bought u girls sexy swimsuits and will now shame you to wear them ARENT I AN ENDEARING CHARACTER but no dicks are wet except with water (also vomit) including kanji lol abuse (also that could have seriously injured but never brought up BECAUSE ABUSE IS LOLOLOLOOLLOLLLOLLLLOLLLOLLLLLLLLOLLLL) Also game forced u/Yu to be sexist too fuck off game

Nanako is sad whatever who cares

Yosuke wants idol puss so yay idol but shes sad so we stalk guilible peepin tom who is the killer but NOT REALLY while adachi is quirky

Rise is sad that she doesnt know who she is or something fuckin idk STRIPPING TIME BOWCHICAWOWOW also teddie feels useless so everyone dies or smth

Teddie comes out of TV and is now human and annoying mother fucker, Rise is now not sad but KAWAII and Yosuke no longer wants idol puss idk but but IDOL PUSS WANTS BORING FUCKBOY YU DICK (not pandery at all, just your average sexy teen idol wants boring fuckboy)

Teacher is dead he was dick and uggo so who cares lol

Chase after uggo game lover nerd haha dungeon is nerdy game shit lol video games cause violence right guys? Didnt u know that video gamers are all ugly socially inept muderous pathetic freaks????? THATS U BTW UR UGGO INEPT MUDEROUS CREEPY LOSER FREAK LOL

Also rise cums when you kill enemies

Now murders are solved rite so lets have celebration!!!! Girls make omlettes but they CANT COOK LOL wasnt that so funny last time joke so nice they made it twice

Summer festival time Rise wants yu dick and Yosuke wants wet dick but teddie claims all three girls for himself and they go without protest despite not wanting to because they are STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE AND KNOW NOT TO BACKTALK THEIR MAN (isnt this game so progressive)

PERSONA 3 REFERENCES also underage drinking bUT NOT REALLY JUST SEXUAL HARASSMENT BECAUSE LOL also teddie stalks them lol also teacher books SEX HOTEL???? How wacky

You kno how muder was solved WELL NOT REALLY WHAT A SHOCK THE GAME HAD NO PLOT FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS anyways

Naoto is strong masculine manly mc man detective but gets kidnapped and is actuallY TRANS BUT NOT REALLY IS ACTUALLY JUST GIRL AND THINKS SHES CHILDISH OR SOMETHING but NOT REALLY ACTUALLY SHE’s JUST LONELY but not really idefk. Remember kiddies being different is okay!!! uwu (so long as you ARENT ACTUALLY DIFFERENT U FREAKOZOID kill urself)

Cultrue festival Rise wants u 2 do her in school halls balls deep but game doesn't let you????? lame 0/10

But then YOSUKE FORCES GIRLS INTO UNCOMFORTABLE beauty pagent that they cant back out of even if someone else signed them up under penalty of DEATH AND RAPE (I presume) because yosuke remains such an endearing character BUT THEN girls get revenge by forcing him into drag contest and u and kanji too even tho it was only yosuke because the GIRLS ARE SUCH AMAZING FRIENDS lol girls are objectified lol fatty thinks shes hot lolllollollooololooloololoollolololooll0lkooolloollololoololol (game designers had to stop in order to finish laughing at own jokes)

then drag contest ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww grosssssssssssssss icky teddie wins because................a dude? PASSING AS A WOMAN??????? Totes not transphobic vibes none at ALL

then HOT SPRINGS SLEEPOVER at inn because there is just SO MUCH MORE FUNNY TO BE HAD (isnt this all so relevant to plot and character??? rich narrative very necessary part of story, game would be UNSALVAGABLE without it)

Girls are bitches and think that guys are perving because hot springs doesn't tell them when it's time for girls to go? ?????? Great fuckin service amagi inn also why would the guys perv by just casually walking in??? Why why why why why qwhyw why why anyways they throw buckets at the guys and it's HILARIOUS and not at all uncomfortable, guys run away in terror and the girls are like YEAH GIRL POWER!!! Then they find out about mistake and apologize like good friends, people and normal humans would b/c even for pervin that was extra no just kidding LOL They actually keep it a secret becausE LOL GIRL POWER STRONG RELATABLE FEMALE CHARACTERS AMIRITE WHO HASNT ABUSED THEIR FRIENDS WITHOUT ANY FEELINGS OF REMORSE OR GUILT LOL (also nanako saw that all bad influence on child)

since the friendships are all so wholesome and not at all toxic or unhealthy the guys totally write this off and try to explain themselves to the girls. NO, actualyl, since Tedide and Yosuke are still such ENDEARING characters they instead decide to molest girls in sleep RELATABLE but uh oh they accidentally molest fatty and uggo old teacher who looks 30 and then fatty and teach are like cool let's fuck and like REAL TEENS they are grossed out at being offered sex because yuck women over 20 and fatty also why are fatty and "old" lady hangin out anyway?? Apparently if ur gross u hang out together, b/c that's how it works rite. such grea t non contrivences

Nanako is dying whatever who cares

Namatame then kidnapps nanako or somth who cares dojima dies but NOT REALLY

then they go to heaven because nanako is sad but nobody gave a shit narukami never cared to ask or try to keep her company isn't he just so GREAT and considerate to the girl being boderline abused and neglected in his own fuckin house no who cares BUT NOW WE CARE RIGHT GUYS

Namatame is cray cray and his boss design is uggo and bullshit

Nanako dies, Yosuke advocates MURDER because he is still SO ENDEARING and player has to chose EXACT FUCKIN DIOLOGUE WITH NOT ONE MISTAKE OR EVERYTHIGN SUCKS AND ITS ALL UR FAULT also in some endings you murder because fuck you

but then if u dont murder NANAKO WAS DEAD BUT NOT REALLY but only if u dont murder so congrats u were emotionally manipulated into killing the mentally ill b/c ur so great good job

then it turns out Namatame you know how he was cray cray well turns out he wANST REALLY CRAY he just had plot-convient-tempo-insanity-itius as the doctors call it then u talk to him and u know how he was the killer? Welll...NOT REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY he was actually good guy u almost killed innocent man fck u then u have three chances to guess killer and only u can and if you dont get it in three guesses you get, as the doctors call it, plot-convient-stupid-cant-think-anymore-itius and thus you run out of time and nobody in the world can guess except you and even over the next three months nobody can guess because who cares I guess lol 2 ppl r dead it turns out you know quirky relatable cop man well NOT FUCKIN REALLY he is actually crazy because he's bored and as everyone knows when youre bored you kill also he's sad that he doesn't have talent even tho he is sucessful detective???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? then god bullshit end of world or smth who cares

then everything is over also i forgot teddie disappears so sad but NOT REALLY

Christmas eve sex ( i banged rise on top of christmas cake)

Girls can now cook character development girls learned how to cook 10/10 v progressive

Then flash forward to three months later because fuck you and Yu is leavin because idk and the game ends BUT NOT REALLY ashkually you can get TRUE SUPER AWESOME ending if you are able to figure out that you have to go to junes for no reason except fuck you

turns out the gas station attendent u know him? well he was super bored and he's actually a GOD WOWZERS so amazing did you know jesus was a part timer at a gas station????? NO??? That's why youre playing this sack of shit anyway humanity wants ignorance or so god says (sound familiar, Nyx??) and she almost wins BUT NOT REALLY Because yu has the power of frienship and you know that awesome scene of makoto fighting nyx? Well imagine thaT BUT SHIT b/c no buildup

for all ur xtra efforts u get teddie saying hearts are connected anime KH cliche (wasnt that so worth the extra bullshit dungeon)

Yu is leaving SO SAD WHAT ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT P3 WUSS CAST? Your friend is dead? GTFO with those 1st world problems NARUKAMI HAS TO TAKE THE TRAIN TO SEE HIS FRIENDS THIS IS THE TRUE TRAGIC DRAMA WHAT COULD BE WORSE

THE END 0/10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

#3 - ASSULT OF THE CASH COWS

so p4 is gr8 rite m8? well no but apparentlly dumb 14yr old boys were like "omg this game half akcnowleges gays exsist so PROGRESSIVE also i can fuck mai waifu n have friends" and so p4 made a shit ton of money atlus saw dis money printin out and were like $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so dey were lyke "lets release a buncha shit”

Persona 4 The Animation: Imagine the same shitty p4 plot but with EVEN MORE HOMOPHOBIA!!!!! also racism!!!! plus MORE FAT JOKES!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaahahahahah also the animation is piss poor shit!!! Doesn't this sound wonderful?????

Persona 4 Arena: So Atlus was lyke yannao wat totes goes with our super serious and super "mature" jrpg seriess? Do u kno? BLAZBLUE!!!!! The over the top weeb fighting game!!! YEah son!!!!! So anyways a fighting game comes out with barely any playable characters??????? Great. Fantastic not the least bit fanficy character writing. Also, there is a plot b/c dis shit be canon. Dats right!!! Now you may be thinking "mmmm how does that work????" well the geneiuses at atlus say "B/C SHITTY P3 RETCON CHARACTER IS SAD ABOUT DESTROYING FRINEDS WHOLE TV WORLD BECOMES ARENA WERE PEOPLE HAVE TO FIGHT FRIENDS" and u may hear that and wonder?? "what deh fuck, wasn't tv world gone also when did this ever happen in p4????" to which fanboys proply accuse u of hating fighting games and behead u.

So at this point in time, P4 is offically dead. It is dead as doornails. but atlus is lyke "Hey let's rape the corpse" and they release shitty remake on overpriced shit system nobody bought. You may be wondering "2012 didn't p4 only come out less than five years ago????" to which atlus says "shut the fuck up and give us money" hence P4 Golden

Persona 4 Golden: Added marie, inistant failure trashfire BUT WAIT!!!! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE!!!! Added events!!!

a) Yosuke wants dick wet and will cum if he feels boobs on his back!! So Yu and Yosuke team up to get shitty dumb ugly bikes b/c they're sooooo cooool rite mitsuru? You and ur dumb motorbike p4 is the real mature game. Anyway. Then they go hit on girls and yosuke gets one!!! YAY!! BUT OH NO!!! IT'S ACTUALLY STUPID FATSO STILL THINKIN SHE'S HOT WHEN SHE'S ACTUALLY STUPID BC SHE'S FAT!!! She then sits on yosuke's bike and it breaks because lol shes fat get it get it get it get it????? Doesn't this add so much to the story??? RICH NARATIVE RIGHT GUYS?!

b) BEACH TIME!!! Because that's where the real compelling drama is!!! Anyway they go to the beach and yuckerbears kanji is in a speedo!!! Gross!! I hope yosuke doesn't catch the gay!!! Then teddie tries to molest the girls bc he's such an endearing character lol then kanji's bathing suit falls off!!!! How did this happen u may ask?? ANIME MAGIC!! So then they dress kanji in seaweed like birth of venus and girls scream and run. the end.

c) Fireworks festival yay time ted-fiya so memorable. Yosuke wants to murder Teddie bc PORN so funny haha more fat jokes also teddie wants 2 bang nanako

d) Nanako is sad again whatever who cares

e) Halloween party!!! BUT NOT REALLY!!

f) SKIING TRIP!!!! YAY!!! P3 REFERENCES!!! YAY!!! Shiptease!!! Yay!!! Teddie steals food so Naoto advocates for his MURDER!!! YAY!! IF YOU DID MARIES SLINK YOU GET XTRA AWESOME DUNGEON!! ALSO IMPLIED RAPEY SEX IN THE SNOW BUT NOT REALLY!!! ANYWAY turns out that marie sucked up the ameno sagiri fog! What u thought it just went away on its own?? BULLSHIT!!!! Next you'll be questioning the ever so important role of NPC John Smith in creating Izanami's gas attendent disguise. Or NPC Billy Bob in giving Ameno Saigiri directions to the boss fight. RIVETING DIOLAUGE LIKE "is this like the part in movies where the bad guys lair collapses??????" WORST GIRL IS DEAD BE SAD EVERYONE ELSE IS U MONSTER!!! BUT NOT REALLY!!! INSTEAD SHIP FUEL!!!! Also marie is polite for half second, AMAZES ENTIRE CAST GREAT WRITING!!!!!!!!! dont u love it when ur friends treat u like shit? then there’s a lovely scene where the dudes perv on the girls who are sexaulized and marie attacks them. Riveting. Then they all died and we were all happy.

g) New years eve. That is all. also new stupid persona evolutions that look stupid.

h) Valentine's DAY!!! I bang Rise on the da beach!!! Also if u slink with marie at all she forces you to cheat!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!

i) OH, NO! Yosuke is going to have to move maybe idk wasnt he supposed to want to move??? idk shut up. anyways. to keep yosuke miserable his friends have to become a band in TWO DAYS!!!! How will they ever do that??? well guess what with zero experience the entire group becomes master musicians in TWO DAYS!!!!!!! That's right, it's that easy!!!! U 2 can become as good as Green Day in two Days!!!! not that they ever play again lol or ever bring this up again lol. Then the dudes jump into the crowd and lol the crowd dodges thme aand nothing is accomplished.

j) New super awesome epilogue you only get if you slink marie even tho she isn’t there for 90% of it whatever the new designs suck

Anyway since the game isn't slice of life enough you can now bang rise in the movies and the hot springs also you can go out at night so exciting.

You can now force Naoto into sexy outfits against her will because isn’t it so cute when girls don’t like being objectified??? Also they molest her at the hot springs??? Also

So yeah P4G sucks ass. But ATLUS didn't stop there!!!! OH no! Atlus then went on to make Persone Q!!! They decided this time to drag innocent bystander P3 as well!!

Persona Q: some bullshit about a dying girl causes the P3 and P4 cast to meet in a wonderful culture festival crossover!! With lovely gameplay and no regression in character!! Chie always had nothing to her past loving meat right????? Also yu can fuck the dog from p3!! isnt this so believable and not the least bit stupid or contrived? isn't it?? Isn't it???????? Not much to say its just dumb surely Atlus must be done now right?? RIGHT?? WRONG!!!!!!

Now you see since P4G came out, OBVIOUSLY the anime needs to be partially remade! You may be asking, isn't the anime less than TWO YEARS old at this point? Why remake it? Did golden really have such a different story? No.

P4 Golden Animation: Marie, marie, marie, marie, ten episodes of marie, never goes anywhere, confusing and boring af but look 16 yr olds in bikinis and nude and not totally shit animation so it's ok right? RIGHT? RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P4 at this point has been raped to death all over again and the corpse is still being fucked and they won't just let it die. BUT NO!!!! Enter p4 arena ultimax!!

P4 Arena Ultimax: B/c the first was so great, they made another!! Game so nice they made it twice!! but now the dark hour from p3 is back because idk we ran out of ideas. Also junpei and koromaru and adachi great. But guess what!!!!!! AWESOME NEW CHARACTER!! His name is sho!! He is the secret son of dude from P3, how is this possible? fuck you. Anyway he is so tragic and sad he hates friendship!! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! :((((( But never fear!!! The p4 team will show sho the glory of frienship isnt this so interesting and original and great????

p4's violated, torn up corspe now has zero dignity left so atlus decided to reanimate the corpse with dead horse dildos and force it to dance

P4 DAN: Dancing. Shit dancing. Nobody knows how to dance. Remember how P4 used to be about murder and accepting uncomfortable truths???? Well now its about shittily animated dances. Isn't this so great? Guess what we lean about the characters? We learn that they can't fuckin dance and watching them is cringy af. Also now the tv world is a dance stage because the tv world just does whatever the fuck we want it to. what if a characters shadow is a rapist, would they be forced to rape?? is that how atlus would make a porn game?? if we wanted to make a chess game a famous chess player who feels forced to play chess will then make u forced to play chess. .... so obivously, the P4 fandom realized that Atlus was raping their game and refused to buy it right?? RIGHT??? WRONG. They actually will castrate you with a rusty carving knife if you ever so much as imply P4 is a cash cow.

It totally is tho

#Persona 4 #Persona 4 Hate #Kasu.txt #rape mention

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