#we are here and theres love in the smallest of things

[beastofmoss]

Here's a little tidbit about me:

I choosed kindness out of pure spite of the world.

[hecksupremechips]

Teehee I got hugged today 🥰

[deadsnakey]

𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐘!𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐱 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐱 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐄

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐fluff ೀ Headcanons. . .ᐟ 0.6k wordsᥫ᭡┈─★

༚༅༚˳✿˳.༚༅༚

𝜗℘　It genuinely doesn't matter to them what your insecurity is, even if its something that looks fine to them or never seen, they'll still protest against it because they think you're perfect and a literal goddess dude.

𝜗℘　It's been a few months since you guys have been dating and it's been great, except it's a little difficult sometimes to hide an insecurity of yours, rather its more noticeable to others or not.

𝜗℘　When they find out, which i feel like they find out around the same time because they're both really observing. Theo because he’s an introvert and very intelligent and Mattheo because he really cares about you so he notices the smallest things most times.

𝜗℘　Anyways, when they do find out or have a big suspicion, they find a good time to ask you about it and their gentle and genuinely thoughtful about it and try their best to be gentle with their words.

𝜗℘　They really don't want to trigger you or anything.

𝜗℘　Even if you're good at lying, they'll be able to see right through you. Just tell 'em the truth girlie, there's no point in lying when they've already found out. I think it'll hurt them a little bit if you're so persistent because do you not trust them or sum?

𝜗℘　But if you do open up after a few tries, they'll give you the most comfort and be very understanding. Mattheo will have you between his legs with his arms wrapped around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder listening closely.

𝜗℘　Theo is beside you guys, petting your hair and giving you kisses every now and then, nodding along to what you're saying so you know he's listening and you have both of their full attention.

𝜗℘　Once you're done, they'd tell you how much they love and care about you, they cherish you and shower you with nothing but love. 

𝜗℘　They love all of your flaws and imperfections.

𝜗℘　“Hey, it's okay to feel this way. But, just know, we’re here for you, okay? I know it may be hard for you but please try your best to remember that we’ll be here for you, always. This is a safe place, Okay, sweet girl?” 

𝜗℘　“Even if you think it's not a big deal or you're overreacting, you're not. You're feelings are valid. We're going to try our best to..make you feel like you're beautiful and worthy of love, because you are, Tesoro. we love you.”

𝜗℘　Maybe theres tears, maybe there arent. Theo will wipe your tears with his thumbs if you do end up crying, kiss your eyes gently.

𝜗℘　If youre not crying, then theyd cuddle you for a little while before mattheo runs you a nice bat. Bubbles, your favorite scented candies lit on the sink with a bathbomb on the side for you in case you want to use it. 

𝜗℘　Theyll have everything out for you, theyll even wear the hello kitty matching pajamas you three have together if it makes you happy. (Theo’s keroppi, Mattheo is badz maru, and youre whoever u wanna be.)

𝜗℘　they'll order food of your choice, watch whatever you want and they'll squish you in the middle since you need the comfort tonight. (since mattheo prob sleeps in the middle; he's touch starved man, its bad. really cuddly while sleeping too.)

the request right here!

[mxtantrights]

the family gala

this is a snippet from the famous dc!au that started with The Greatest Hits [read here] you don’t have to read it but a lot of things would make sense if you do! hope you enjoy.

"Are you sure this isn't too much?" you ask.

Jason is behind you in the mirror, back towards you. When you ask he turns around. He turns his phone off and slowly walks over to you. As soon as he's in arms length he wraps himself around you.

The two of you match for the night. You're wearing a red dress, backless, that reaches the floor. And Jason has an all black suit on with a red tie. The same red as your dress.

"You are the most magnificent person I have ever seen. You take my breath away every morning but this, right now, you are just out of this world." he says.

You can't help the smile that grows and grows on your face. You lean back into him and take another look at the two of you in the mirror. The press conference was your hard launch. Everything else after that was light work.

Except for tonight. Tonight is the Wayne Gala, or at least the one happening this month. You had been specifically invited by Bruce Wayne. It was shocking to see a handwritten invitation in your mailbox.

Not that you were thrown off by being invited. You just thought since Jason was at your place or you at his that Bruce would have passed it along via Jason. The guy really was classic.

You're pretty sure your neighbors saw your head spinning when you took out the envelope from your mailbox that morning. You ran inside like a chicken without a head to tell Jason.

To your surprise he had nothing to do with you being invited. He told you that he would bring you as a plus one, obviously, but he hadn't known about the gala yet.

Anyways.

"What's going on in that head of yours sweetheart?" Jason asks.

You shake your head, "Nothing, just a bit nervous for this."

"We could bail." Jason answers.

"No way! Jay this is your family. And I got formally invited. We're going." you say.

Jason keeps eye contact with you in the mirror as he places a kiss on your shoulder. He's being sweet but you know this will be just the beginning of him trying to convince you to take his tie off, then your dress, and then the whole gala would be forgotten about.

"When we get back from the gala you can take all of this off me." you say.

You don't miss the way Jason pushes up against you for the smallest fraction of a second. His body against yours is a sinful thought right now. One that you won't allow yourself or him to have.

"Okay. Let's go then." he says.

Then he's pulling you by the arm out of your bedroom. You and him burst into a storm of giggles as you clumsily reach for the things you need before you head out the front door. Your bag. His phone. The invitation on the kitchen table. Both of your jackets.

-

There is no special carpet for the Gala. Instead it's just an elaborate entry way that is lined with photographers. Some gossip bloggers sneaked their way in to ask lousy and raunchy questions. That didn't really matter seeing as Jason is a six foot wall and they were not getting through him.

You both posed for pictures for a minute outside the door. Then you headed inside. It was everything you ever imagined and nothing you could ever dream of.

Jason had told you on the ride over that sometimes theres a theme. One time it was Gatsby themed and you had to stop yourself from gasping and scaring your driver. You would have loved to go to a Gatsby theme gala.

Tonight's theme is latin culture. It's then that you put together why you got your invitation before Jay knew about it. Bruce selected the theme for him.

You don't miss the way Jason smiles at all the elaborate decorations. There were dancers dressed in long skirts. A full band made up of guitars and horns.

As you two are taking in the view you get interrupted, or greeted rather by the rest of the Wayne family. Specifically the three you haven't met yet.

Dressed to the nines are Steph, Duke and Cass. You know about them. Steph is on the album for the sequel. Duke is running one of Bruce's film studios. And Cass is the lead in the upcoming debut of The Nutcracker at the Orpheum.

"Oh my god you're really here." Duke says.

"Yeah I made it." Jason says.

Duke makes a face, "I wasn't talking about you!"

"Hi I'm Steph!" she offers her hand.

You take it into your own and shake it, smiling.

"I know! I loved your song for the sequel." you say.

You can hear her tiny gasp. She turns to Cass who is smiling too.

"Woah can we all back up on the precious cargo?" Jason jokes.

You nudge him with your shoulder. You think it's sweet how they've interacted with you thus far. Especially Steph since she was on the album for the sequel. You're pretty sure you were the first one to stream her song when it dropped.

"We just can't believe this is real." Duke says.

"There is no way you managed to get your co-star to date you. You're kinda of a jackass." Steph adds.

Cass nods along. Duke affirms with a hum.

"Guys!" Jason yelps.

"Was it the tight shirts?" Duke asks.

You begin to laugh and Jason drapes an arm around your shoulder. He pulls you closer and you bring an arm around his waist. It was instinctual at this point. If Jason was less than six feet away you had a hand on him, or he on you.

"My god, you two must really like each other." Steph says.

"Yeah but he likes me more. It's kind of embarrassing." you joke.

They all laugh at that. Except Jason. You can see the tips of his ears grow red. You nudge him softly. You'd have to save that for later.

"I actually got the invite before he knew about the party. What's up with that?" you ask.

The three of them don't know. They shrug their shoulders. And then conveniently disperse from you and Jason. You watch in amusement as they do.

"I asked father if I could send your invite early."

Both you and Jason get spooked by the youngest Wayne. You turn around and there he is. Damian looks dapper in his suit. A pocket sized Bruce Wayne.

"Damian, it's nice to see you again." you smile.

"Thank you. Your dress is nice." he says.

You smooth it out a bit with your hands, "I have you to thank. I had enough time to ask a designer to pull it from the archives."

"I'm guessing they couldn't do anything for Todd." Damian swipes.

Jason hisses, like actually hisses like a cat, "I changed your diapers! Don't mess with me."

Damian scurries after that. You bring your hand to the back of Jason's head. Your nails scratching his scalp. You see him visibly relax and lean into your touch.

"Your family is really welcoming." you speak.

"They're all infatuated with you. But they have to get in line because I was here first." Jason answers.

"Okay big baby. I'll let em' know, when we have family dinner." you say.

"Oh you can't tell?" he asks.

You step in front of him now. Eyeing him and how cheeky he looks. You are not genuinely curious what he means by his words.

"Do share..." you trail off.

"The early invitation, the theme. This is family dinner." he answers.

You cock your head to the side with an incredulous laugh.

"Last I checked you had seven family members. Excluding Damian’s duck Sir Billsworth of course." you say.

"It's no-strings family dinner. They're trying to ease you into the fray. Give it a month, we'll be invited to something again." he replies.

You can't help the smile that grows on your face. Jason lightly chuckles at your face.

"What?" he asks.

You reach up and peck his lips. Jason is fast and his hands steady themselves on your hips. He pulls you closer for another kiss, knowing him something world ending and stomach flipping, but you push back with your hands flat on his chest.

"Not in front of the family!" you whisper-yell.

"Oh they better get used to it now because I do not plan on behaving just because they're around." he says

"Bad. Bad. You are very bad." you giggle.

Jason leans over to your ear. You can feel his breath on your skin. He wasn't making this gala appearance any easier on you. Then again you might've asked the designer to specifically pick a red dress because you know how Jason feels about red.

"I never reach the end of these things and I'm definitely not going to start now with you dressed like that." he whispers.

When he pulls back he's straight faced. A waiter passes by with a tray full of fancy taquitos. Jason's eyes zero in and he pecks your cheek and goes in that direction.

You watch him as he goes. Not believing that man was all yours. At the end of this night, and for maybe all your nights yet to come.

[kikiswriting7]

Take a Chance ✵ JJK ✵ MYG - 5

✵ Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook

✵Summary: Y/N just move across the world to start her University. She is paired with a roommate who is complete social butterfly and makes a bet, Y/N needs to take more chances. And at the hint of her new found friend, her social and romantic life take a dramatic turn.

✵Tags/Warnings: Smut, College AU, red flag, sexual tension. angst, dirty talking, drinking, friends with benefits, full of cliches, friends to lover, temptation

✵Notes: Hello! Now that I somewhat have a vacation time and I could not stop thinking about this, my fingers slipped so here goes another chaper! And if you want to be added to the tag list and be notified when theres a new chapter please sign up on this link!

lots of love, Kiki

CHAPTER 5 - Guiding lights and shadows

The week was a relentless sprint, each day bleeding into the next in a haze of exhaustion.With finals approaching, it feels like every teacher is piling on extra work, making the days even more grueling. The highlights are lunch with the boys and the lingering memory of that kiss, which I am trying not to overanalyze. My heart is skipping a beat each time Yoongi’s name is appearing on my phone with a new message about a show or something he’s done. The conversation is always light and definitely far off from the moment we shared the previous weekend. So when he texts today asking if I want to join him in the city center to shop for headphones, I can’t resist. The stores are staying open later than usual, which works perfectly—I just need my finance teacher to let us out on time.

As the clock is ticking toward the end of the period, I am finding myself glancing at it repeatedly, willing it to move faster. When the bell finally rings, I am quickly gathering my things and rushing out, excitement bubbling inside me.

Yoongi is saying he doesn’t want anything serious. He has put the brakes on whatever we have, and I don’t understand why I am still hung up on him, other than the fact that he is clearly my type. When I arrive at the city center station, I spot Yoongi leaning against a lamppost, his gaze focused on his phone. He looks up as I approach, a small smile on his lips.

"Hey," I greet, slightly breathless from my hurry.

"Hey," he replies, his eyes lighting up. "Ready to find some headphones?"

"Absolutely," I say, matching his smile.

We are wandering through the busy streets, popping into various electronics stores and comparing different models. Yoongi is in his element, enthusiastically testing out headphones and discussing their pros and cons. I am admiring his passion for even the smallest things.

Eventually, he finds a pair he likes, and we make our way out of the store. The sky has darkened, with city lights casting a warm glow on the streets. We walk side by side, our conversation flowing effortlessly from one topic to another.

"Want to grab a drink?" Yoongi suggests. “We can get a bottle of something and take a walk by the beach?”

"Sure," I agree, glad for the chance to spend more time with him, though slightly concerned about the growing chill. The days have been warmer, but the nights, with the cold sea breeze, are frigid.

We stop by a nearby convenience store before heading back to our neighborhood bus, hoping to reach the beach faster. I can’t help but steal glances at Yoongi. Even in silence, his presence is comforting.

The city noises are fading as we reach the beach, the gentle sound of waves crashing against the sand taking over. We walk to the end of the beach, where a lighthouse stands amidst a stretch of rocks. It isn’t a long distance, but it feels removed from the city’s bustle. We drink from one of the bottles of wine we have bought, and conversation picks up again. Yoongi talks about his week and how he is grateful that his grade is based mainly on projects rather than exams—a luxury I am wishing for.

“I’m definitely a hands-on learner. It’s not my forte to just sit and absorb a subject,” I say as we reach the rocky path at the end of the beach. “So even though I have just started, I can’t wait for it to be over.”

“There’s definitely a strange feeling when you start,” Yoongi agrees. “Being away from home, studying in a different language... you grow up fast.”

His words are resonating with me. “Yeah,” I say softly, gazing out at the dark, rippling sea. “It’s like you’re forced to figure out who you are, but it’s hard to keep up.”

We are quiet for a while, sipping from the bottle of wine and watching the waves. A shiver is running down my spine, snapping me out of my thoughts. The cold is more biting than I’ve realized. I am stuffing my hands into my jacket pockets, desperate for warmth.

“You know, being cold is just a state of mind,” Yoongi says, breaking the silence. I shoot him a skeptical glance while blowing hot air over my hands.

“Yeah, sure. Try living your whole life in a warm country and then talk about cold being a state of mind,” I huff, making him chuckle. He takes my hands in his, warming them with his touch.

The contact is light, but it sends a jolt through me. Yoongi subtly moves closer, focusing on the sea ahead to distract from the growing warmth between us. “It’s strange how much can change in such a short time,” he muses, taking another sip from the wine bottle before handing it to me.

I also drink from it, feeling the warmth spread through me, but it pales compared to the heat between us. “You know, I never thought I’d be here, sitting with you like this,” I admit, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Dice…” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. It is as if everything suddenly crashes into his mind, and he pulls away, leaving me missing his warmth immediately.

I swallow hard, feeling the effects of the wine as my words tumble out. “I’ve never had a relationship before. But I think what’s important is doing things because you want to, not because someone told you to.” I look back at the sparkling city. “I don’t want to date someone who buys me flowers because they feel obligated. I want to live in the moment and enjoy whatever life throws at me.” I shrug, avoiding his gaze. I notice he is nodding slightly and taking a bigger sip from the bottle.

I turn to him to take my turn and realize it is almost empty. Have we drunk that much? I take a sip, feeling his eyes still on me. A smile starts forming on my lips. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but Gabi is right. I just want to roll the dice and see where it lands.”

He chuckles, his gaze lingering on my lips. I find myself unable to look away from the softness of his gaze and the smile playing on his face. The world around us seems to fade, leaving just the two of us in this moment that feels both exhilarating and intensely intimate. My heart is pounding, almost drowning out the distant city sounds and crashing waves.

I try to maintain my composure, but Yoongi’s gaze makes it difficult. Thankfully, the darkness hides my blush. “You know,” I say, my voice wavering slightly, “sometimes it’s easier to talk about things when you’re... a little tipsy.”

Yoongi’s smile widens as he wraps his arm around my shoulder. His touch is warm and comforting against the cold night air. I lean my head on him. “Yeah, I get that,” he says softly. “Sometimes it’s easier to say what you really feel when you’re not overthinking everything.”

We are sharing a moment of silence, just enjoying the closeness, the intimacy of our shared warmth against the cold. I feel like I could stay here forever, lost in this strange, captivating bubble we are creating.

“Dice,” Yoongi says, his voice barely more than a murmur. He tilts his head slightly, his eyes searching mine. “If you really want to roll the dice... what would you want to happen?”

I meet his gaze, and the question is hanging in the air between us. My pulse is quickening as I struggle to find the right words. “I guess,” I start slowly, “I’d want to take chances. Live in the moment.” I frown. Who would say that I would be thinking like that.

“What is it?” he asks, confusion laced in his expression.

“If you tell Gabi that I said that, I will have to kill you.” I chuckle.

Yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise, but he can’t hide the amused smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “Oh, so it’s that kind of secret?” he teases, his tone light but his gaze still intense.

I laugh softly, shaking my head. “Yeah, definitely. I don’t need her making fun of me for being all... introspective and sentimental. Especially when it makes her right.”

Yoongi chuckles, and his laughter seems to dissolve the last remnants of tension between us. “I promise, your secret is safe with me. I wouldn’t dare spill it, especially not to Gabi.”

He leans back slightly, but his hand remains gently clasping mine. The touch is both grounding and electrifying. “So, you want to take chances and live in the moment,” he says more as a statement than a question, his voice softening.

I look down at our entwined fingers, feeling the warmth from his touch seeping into me. The silence is comforting, filled only with the gentle sounds of the waves and the distant hum of the city. Yoongi’s thumb is tracing small, soothing circles on the back of my hand, and I find myself leaning in slightly, drawn to the intimacy between us.

“Do you want to know something?” he asks suddenly, his eyes locking onto mine with a mix of vulnerability and determination.

I nod, my heart pounding in my chest. “Yeah, tell me.”

Yoongi takes a deep breath, his expression serious but soft. “I don’t want to overthink things either. I’ve been trying to figure out what I want, but... being here with you, right now, it feels right. And I think maybe that’s enough for now.”

The sincerity in his voice makes my breath catch, and I can see the same longing mirrored in his eyes. The distance between us feels like it is shrinking with every passing second. I take a small, deliberate breath, feeling the weight of his words and the promise they hold.

Yoongi’s gaze remains fixed on mine, and I see his eyes soften with a mix of relief and affection. He leans in, his face close enough that I can feel his warm breath against my skin. The world seems to slow down, the only sounds the gentle rush of the waves and our quickened breaths.

Yoongi’s face is inches from mine, his warm breath mingling with the cool night air. Our eyes lock, and in that shared gaze, I can see a mix of hope and vulnerability. His lips are soft and inviting, and as he leans in, I feel a flutter of anticipation.

When our lips finally meet, the kiss is gentle and exploratory. There is no rush or intensity—just a tender connection that speaks volumes in its simplicity. I can taste the faint, tangy flavor of the cheap wine on his lips.

Yoongi’s lips are warm against mine, moving with a soft, deliberate rhythm. He doesn’t press too hard or deepen the kiss, instead keeping it light and delicate. His kiss is like a whisper, full of unspoken promises and gentle affection. I can feel the slight, hesitant brush of his lips, a caress rather than a demand.

The sensation is comforting, almost comforting in its tenderness. His hand, still holding mine, is providing a reassuring warmth that makes the kiss feel even more intimate. The touch of his fingers against my skin is gentle, almost as if he is afraid of breaking the spell of the moment.

When we finally pull away, our foreheads are resting together, and I can see the soft smile playing on Yoongi’s lips.

Yoongi’s arms are wrapping around me, drawing me into a close, comforting embrace. We stay like that for a while, our bodies pressed together, with the city lights twinkling in the distance and the cool sea breeze gently brushing against our faces. The night feels suspended in time, a quiet and intimate pause amidst the chaos of our lives.

His warmth is seeping through my jacket, and the gentle rise and fall of his chest is a soothing rhythm against mine. We sit in silence, simply existing together in the stillness, the soft rustling of the sea and the distant hum of the city our only companions.

The kiss lingers between us, a tender moment. It is soft, fleeting—a brief spark that doesn’t demand anything more than what it is.

Yoongi’s gaze remains on the city, his expression contemplative but relaxed. His hand is resting lightly on my back, a casual touch that speaks of comfort rather than commitment. I lean my head against his shoulder, feeling a sense of calm wash over me as we share this peaceful moment.

“Cold isn’t so bad when you’re not alone,” he says softly, breaking the silence with a quiet, reflective tone.

I smile, nodding slightly. “Yeah, it’s not so bad.”

We remain there, side by side, wrapped in each other’s warmth and the tranquility of the night. The city lights continue to shimmer in the distance, a backdrop to our shared silence. It is a moment of connection, open-ended and unspoken, leaving the future uncertain but the present moment perfectly still.

The library is unusually quiet for a Saturday morning. The usual hum of activity is replaced by the soft rustling of pages and the faint tapping of keyboards. Eli, Gabi, and I have claimed our favorite study spot near the windows, the table covered in books, notes, and highlighters. Despite the serene setting, there is a palpable tension in the air, especially around Eli.

Ever since the club night last week, something has shifted. Eli is seeming distracted, her usual bubbly demeanor replaced with a more subdued, thoughtful one. I keep my head down, focusing on my notes, trying to ignore the undercurrent of awkwardness.

 “So, Eli,” Gabi says, breaking the silence. “Any updates on the marketing project?”

Eli snaps out of her thoughts, blinking rapidly. “Oh, um, yeah. I think we’re almost done. Just need to finalize a few things.”

Gabi nods, looking satisfied. “Good to know.” She drops her head on her books. “I’m seriously stressing about this test.”

Eli forces a smile. “Yeah, me too.”

The exchange is polite but strained. I can feel Gabi’s curious eyes darting between us, sensing the awkwardness but not pushing for answers, even though we probably knew the answer to it. Yoongi. I also definitely needed to keep quiet as I have also been keeping things from my friends.

Just as the silence threatens to swallow us again, Jungkook and Taehyung arrive, their presence like a breath of fresh air. Jungkook’s warm smile and Taehyung’s energetic demeanor instantly lighten the mood.

“Hey, everyone,” Jungkook greets, pulling up a chair beside me and resting his arm on the back of it. “Hope we’re not interrupting.” He offers the brightest smile that doesn’t fail to bring up the mood.

“Not at all,” Gabi replies, her eyes lighting up. “We could use the company.”

Taehyung plops down next to Eli, grinning. “So, what are we studying today?”

“Marketing,” Eli answers, her smile returning a little. “Big test and deadline coming up.”

“Fun,” Taehyung says, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Good thing I’m here for moral support.”

As we settle into our study session, the atmosphere gradually becomes more relaxed. Jungkook and Taehyung’s playful banter helps ease some of the tension, and even Eli seems to loosen up a bit. However, my phone buzzes incessantly, a series of messages from Jimin lighting up the screen.

Jimin: "Hey, what are you up to?"

Jimin: "Studying again? On a Saturday?"

Jimin: "C'mon, let's do something fun!"

I sigh and quickly type a response.

Me: "I really need to study, Jimin. Maybe later?"

But Jimin, being Jimin, was relentless.

Jimin: "Pleeeeease? I'm bored out of my mind."

I try to ignore the messages and focus on my notes, but my phone buzzes again.

Jimin: "Fine, if you're going to ignore me, I'm just going to complain in the group chat"

A few seconds later, the group chat litghts up with Jimin's messages.

Jimin: "Why are all my friends so boring? It's Saturday! Someone come save me from this boredom!"

Gabi snorts, reading the messages over her own phone. "Sounds like Jimin's having a meltdown."

I roll my eyes, a small smile playing on my lips. "He's just being dramatic."

"Isn't he always?" Jungkook says, a hint of amusement in his voice.

As we continue studying, the group chat buzzes with more messages, most of them teasing Jimin for his dramatics. Even Jungkook and Taehyung join in.

Taehyung: "Jimin, maybe you should try studying. It's very stimulating."

Jungkook: "Or you could come help us. Plenty of fun to go around here."

Yoongi: “Don’t you have a test to study for?”

Jimin: "Ugh, you guys are the worst."

I chuckle at the exchange. It was comforting to have these people around. I am deep down glad of the friend group we formed. I don’t know how I would’ve survived so far without them. 

Eli catches my eye and gives me a small, appreciative smile, as if to say thanks for not pressing her about her unease. I return the smile, but feeling the heaviest feeling in my gut from also holding stuff from her.

After Jungkook and Taehyung joined us, I notice Eli glancing at her phone more frequently, her fingers twitching as if she was expecting a message. Each time it buzzed, she looked both hopeful and anxious, her eyes darting quickly to the screen and then away.

"Everything okay, Eli?" Taehyung asks gently, clearly clueless about all the slightly akward day we had so far. 

She nods quickly, too quickly. "Yeah, just... family stuff."

He nods back, not entirely convinced but clearly willing to let it go for now. 

Throughout the afternoon, I can’t shake the feeling that something is off. Yoongi's absence is unusual. He was usually a steady presence, especially during our study sessions. Even though quiet and burried in his computer. During the week he acted like nothing had happened after he dropped us off at the apartment. But I guess last night might have drawn him away.

As we take a break, Taehyung stretched and glanced at me. "By the way, have you heard from Yoongi today?"

I shake my head. "No, I haven't. It's weird that he's not here."

Taehyung leans back in his chair, crossing his arms and shruggs. "Maybe he needed some time alone. You know how he can be."

Eli's face tightens at the mention of Yoongi, and she quickly looks down at her notes, pretending to be absorbed in her work. The look on Gabi’s face came and went like lightning. She also saw how she reacted. And the quick glance we shared afterwords was enough to tell me we were going to be talking about this later. 

"Yeah, maybe," I say, giving Taehyung a small smile. "He does like his alone time."

As the afternoon wore on, the group started to leave one by one. Leaving me alone with Jungkook at the library. He claims that he knows the subject by heart and that he already finished his part for the group project of the class. He was lucky. Unfortunetly the girl who decided to team up with me convinced me she was hardworking and that we would be done with it in no time. All lies as she would never show up to any of the meetings I tried to set up with her about this damn project.  “I can help you if you want.” Jungkook says looking up from his phone. “I hear the wheels turning inside your head from here” I quickly throw him an annoyed look. “I just feel so overwhelmed. How am I supposed to present this with someone who didn’t even write a single word” 

“Well she did write like 3 paragraphs?” He tries to comfort, but it doesn’t work.

“Yeah, that I had to re-write because it didn’t make any sense.” I can feel my shoulders drop as the realization that it will be my first failed report in school. Great.  Jungkook reaches over and gently pats my shoulder. "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. You're smart, and you'll figure it out. Maybe we can brainstorm some ideas together?"

I sighed, appreciating his constant attempts to lift my spirits. "Thanks, JK. I might take you up on that."

The library is starting to empty out, the quiet atmosphere becoming almost too peaceful. I glance at the clock, noting that we still had a few hours before closing time. I decided to take a short break and walk over to the vending machine to get a snack. Jungkook follows, his presence comforting in the silence.

As I feed coins into the machine, Jungkook leans against the wall, his eyes fixed on me. "So, what's really bothering you? I mean, besides the project and Eli."

I hesitate, not sure if I was ready to unload everything that had been on my mind. But Jungkook's earnest expression convinced me to open up, at least a little.

"It's just... everything feels off lately," I admitt. "Eli's been acting weird, because… well, you probably know why.” I have to bite my own tongue for not spilling out that Yoongi and I made out. Not once, but twice now. ”And this project is stressing me out. I feel like I'm drowning in everything."

Jungkook nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, I noticed Eli's been on edge... But you don't have to carry all this by yourself, you know? We're all here to help."

I give him a grateful smile, feeling a bit lighter. "Thanks. It helps to hear that."

We returnto our table, and I resume my work with Jungkook's support. His presence made it easier to focus, and I manage to make some progress on the project. We bounce ideas off each other, and I start to feel more confident about the upcoming presentation.

Just as I was starting to feel a bit better, my phone buzzes again. It was Jimin, of course.

Jimin: "Im still broed. Seriousljy, can't you come hangt out with mwe?"

I chuckled, shaking my head. He clearly had already his share of drinks tonight by the looks of it. "Jimin really doesn't know when to stop, does he?" I show the phone to Jk who is peeking above my shoulder.

Jungkook laughs. "Nope, but that's part of his charm. Maybe we can do something fun later, after you've finished studying."

"Maybe," I say, glancing at the time again. "I just need to wrap this up first."

As we continue working, I can’t help but think about Yoongi. His absence was gnawing at me, and I wondered what could have driven him away. Eli's reaction to his name had been telling, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions. I decide to check my phone once more and noticed that Yoongi had been active in the group chat earlier, but hadn't sent any messages since. 

The evening progresses, and the library starts to fill with the low hum of closing announcements and the gradual packing up of students. By the time we wrap up, I feel much better about the project, thanks in no small part to Jungkook’s help.

“Ready to head out?" he asks, slinging his bag over his shoulder. 

"Yeah," I said, feeling a mix of relief and lingering stress. "Thanks for staying with me."

"Anytime," he replied with a warm smile. "And remember, you're not alone. We can figure all this out together."

We exit the library doors, blinking in the sudden twilight. The air is crisp, carrying the scent of the faint tang of the approaching sea. Jungkook stretched beside me, his phone clutched in his hand.

"Well, that was productive," he says, more to himself than to me. "Hopefully, your teammate will magically appear before the presentation."

I offer a weak smile. "Yeah, hopefully."

Suddenly, my phone rings in my pocket. My heart leapes – maybe it was Yoongi, finally reaching out. I pull it out, a smile faltering as I see the name on the screen: Gabi. I glance at Jungkook, who was still stretching and checking his phone. I pick up the phone with a soft smile on my lips. Jimin must have gotten into her head about going out and now its her turn to bother me. 

“Hey thank God you picked up,” her voice is shaky at the other end of the line “I need your help. Jimin’s hurt. Can you come over right now? I’m worried.” “What do you mean?” I ask her,  frowning.  Jungkook notices my sudden change in demeanor. “Everything okay?”

My eyes lock with Jungkooks as he is quick to drop the attention from this own phone. 

My breath catches. Something happened to Jimin? He had texted me not long ago about going to hang out with him. I feel a rush of panic and concern. “We came to this new bar and Jimin got into a fight. Hes not looking too good. I’ll send you our location.” She rushes and before I get the chance to reply she hangs up.

“I—Gabi says Jimin’s hurt,” I say, my voice tight with anxiety. “We have to go.”

Jungkook’s expression shifts to concern. “Do you know where they are?”

I agree quickly, looking at the directions to the bar. “Yes, she just sent me their location.”

We hurry through the darkening streets, each step heavy with worry. I try calling Gabi, but her phone went straight to voicemail. As we approache the place, the music throbbed through the night and silhouettes move on the sidewalk. My eyes scan the area, landing on two figures – one slumped against the wall, the other pacing impatiently. Relief washes over me momentarily, but then I see Jimin.

He is sprawled on the sidewalk, his hair disheveled and his clothes askew. A grimace contorted his face, clutching his stomach with a groan. Gabi hovered beside him, her face pale and streaked with tears.

"He… he got beat up," Gabi stammers, her voice cracking. "I don't know what happened!"

Jungkook kneels beside Jimin, his brow furrowed as he assesses the situation. Thankfully, there was barely any blood, but Jimin definitely looked worse for wear.

"What the hell happened?" Jungkook asks, his voice laced with concern.

"I don't know," Gabi sniffles. "We were just leaving the bar when these guys started shoving him around. They kept calling him names…" Her voice trailes off, tears welling up again.

Jimin winces as he tried to sit up. "Ugh, my head…" he mumbled, his voice slurred, as he sat back down.

I kneel beside Gabi, my own worry bubbling up. "Are you okay, Gabi?"

She shakes her head, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I'm scared. What if they come back?"

Just then, a group of three young men emerge from the bar, their faces flushed and their voices loud. They spott us and start swaggering over, a menacing glint in their eyes.

"Hey! Looks like the little party's still going on," one of them sneers, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Leave us alone," Gabi says, her voice trembling.

The leader of the group scoffs. "Not until we settle the score with your little boyfriend here."

Jungkook stands up, his jaw set in a hard line. He was a big guy, but you could barely notice underneath the jacket he wore. But he radiates a quiet intensity that made me feel a flicker of hope.

"We don't want any trouble," he says calmly, though his voice holds a steely edge. "Just let us go."

The leader barks out a laugh. "Trouble? You started the trouble when your friend got mouthy with us."

The situation was escalating quickly, and I know we were outnumbered. My mind races, searching for a way out.

The tension in the air is palpable, and the group's hostile approach sent a shiver down my spine. I glance at Jungkook, who was visibly bracing himself for a confrontation. My mind desperate to find a way to defuse the situation before it got any worse.

Jungkook steps in front of Jimin protectively, his posture solid and unyielding. “Look, we don’t want any trouble,” he states firmly, though the strain in his voice was evident. “We’re just here to help our friend.”

The leader of the group’s eyes narrow, his gaze shifting between Jungkook and Jimin. “Help, huh? Seems like you’re just trying to play the hero. You should have thought about that before your friend decided to act tough.”

The men behind him shuffle closer, their faces etched with aggressive intent. I could see the situation spiraling out of control, and my heart pounds with fear. I take a deep breath and tried to gather all the courage in me. 

Squaring my shoulders, I rise to my feet, forcing a smile that feels more like a grimace. "Listen, gentlemen," I say, my voice surprisingly steady considering the tremor in my legs. "This is all a big misunderstanding. We're just leaving."

The leader's gaze flicks to Jungkook, who remains a stoic figure beside me. A smirk played on his lips."Misunderstanding, huh? Looks like your little boyfriend here needs a lesson in respect."

My smile falters. Respect? These guys were looking for trouble, and I wasn't about to let them take it out on Jimin. "He didn't do anything wrong," I counter, my voice gaining a touch of defiance. Maybe if I played it tough, they'd back down.

One of the guys snorted. "Yeah, right. Maybe you should teach him some manners yourself, sweetheart."

Their amusement fuel a surge of anger within me. They clearly didn't see the pepper spray nestled discreetly in the side pocket of my backpack. This wasn't a situation that called for playing nice.

With a deep breath, I reach back, my fingers brushing the cool metal canister. They didn't need to see it, just know it was there. "Look," I say, my voice dropping to a low growl. "We're not here to fight. But if you keep pushing, things could get messy. And trust me, you don't want that mess."

The leader's smirk falter for a brief moment, replaced by a flicker of something that might have been apprehension. He glances at his buddies, a silent question hanging in the air.

But then, as quickly as it appeared, the sneer returns. "Empty threats, doll?" he scoffs. "Let's see you back that up."

He takes a menacing step forward, his hand reaching out as if to grab me. It was now or never.

My hand shoots into my backpack, emerging with a hiss. The pepper spray gleams in the dim streetlight, a silent warning.

The leader freezes, his eyes widening in shock. His hand retreats as if burned. The air crackles with a different kind of tension now, thick with fear.

"Maybe you should reconsider," I say, my voice leaving no room for argument. “We’re not here to fight, but if you push it…”

The leader’s smirk falters, replaced by a flicker of hesitation. He glances at his buddies, weighing the situation.

Finally, he gives a dismissive wave. “Whatever. We’re done here. Get your friend out of here and don’t come back.”

The group turns and walk away, their retreating figures dissolving into the night. As the adrenaline begin to fade, I let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of relief settle in. Jungkook takes away the can from my hand and quickly analyses if I am ok. He softly squeezes my hand in reassurance, before returning to Jimin’s side, helping him to his feet as Gabi wipes her tears away. 

“Lets get him home.” He quickly says while leading the way.  Previous ✧ Next

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Honestly, I am quite excited with this story! Hope you guys are enjoying too! Anyway! Share your thoughts! It honestly makes my day hehe Hope you are liking it so far :)

add yourself to the TAGLIST

[frostednotdeer]

Off brand for me, but heres a true Pokemon Story I wanted to tell

—

My first pokemon game was pokemon white. I got it for christmas in elementary school. I chose the firetype starter pokemon, tepig. Her name was Flamr. My very first pokemon.

I wasn’t a very good pokemon trainer. Theres a part of the game where a dragon roars at the top of a tower you’re climbing and the whole building shakes. I was so terrified that I made my brother play through that part.

I cried when I couldn’t figure out the simple riddle to one of the boss fights.

Through all of it, I only ever used Flamr. And I got attached to her. She was my strongest pokemon by miles and miles.

Once while training, Flamr wanted to learn an advanced move called Flare Blitz, a powerful fire attack which hurt the user. I didn’t want her to learn it, because I didn’t want to hurt my friend. I wasn’t gonna let Flamr hurt herself for me.

My friends all beat the game before me, and understood the game better than me. So when we went to battle each other, all my pokemon were all one-shot by their legendaries. Except for Flamr. Who was two shot. That image is burned into my brain, of Flamr facing down an impossible opponent and living with the smallest sliver of hp. I know it was just because of her level, but a part of me felt that Flamr wanted to win because she loved me. Because she wanted to spare me from another round of humiliation.

Eventually I reset my game when I learned that was the “cool” thing to do. Its what all the other pokemon players were doing. And I lost Flamr, of course. I still feel so guilty over that. I didn’t have alot of friends, and the ones I did have were never very good. It felt like Flamr was the only one who really loved me, and I threw her away. I know she was just a bundle of code. I know that it was just a child’s imagination. And its dumb to cry about it. But Flamr’s “death” still keeps me up at night to this day. And sometimes, when I’m playing pokemon and my monster lives with a sliver of hp. I think, in the back of my mind. “Was that you, Flamr?”

[activatebutterflyshield]

Songs that make me really really really want to learn animation so I can make epic sequences with them as the soundtrack

- Notos by the Oh Hellos, itd make a great phoenix-rising, defeated-character-realizing-their-power-and-absolutely-destroying-someone-who-did-them-real-trauma thing. Also the metaphors and imagery. “Every inhale I take, swallow the ocean whole and I am one / With the hurricane, tall as the tide that laps with a rabid tongue”??? “With every exhale I break you down with a fury, I lay the hills undone / Like a dog gone untamed, bellowing out a river from my lungs”??????

- Boreas by the Oh Hellos, the perfect sort of ‘Im completely defeated but by god I’m still going to do something to help’

- Okay I should just include all of the Four Winds EPs in here. Get over here, Eurus and Zephyrus. Passerine and Rio Grande specifically.

- The Horror and the Wild by the Amazing Devil, see this one fandom post I made that was basically a desperate attempt to visualize an animatic I could never make

- Chords by the Amazing Devil, entirely different vibes but bloody hell it lights a fire in my heart every time I hear it. Just. “We were the winter nights / So you could be the morning snow / Your life begins by leaving / And our love is shown / In the letting go”????????

- Rockslide by the Crane Wives. Im writing a whole thing about that album, Coyote Stories’, relationship with climate change and the generally horrible state of the world and this song is the reason. “Oh I pray today my soul to keep / But we best get a move on or the devil we will meet”?? I mean. Mates. It hits hard.

- Sleeping Giants by the Crane Wives. Same album as Rockslide and just as strong if not more so. It would make for a great call-to-war or prelude-to-a-big-ol-battle.

- Rule #3 Paperwork by Fish in a Birdcage. By goodness is Paperwork underrated (though methinks Rule #2 Moonlight is even more underrated but thats just a good song) and I love it to death. Just a great song for an easygoing time. Or, alternatively, a great song for a subtle call to action.

- Rule #33 Pyre by Fish in a Birdcage. Its just great. A final, fond farewell from a beloved parent or mentor or loved one or other dear person telling you that you’ll be fine after they’re gone. Also the accordion is really neat in this one. “Trust yourself and live it your way”. It just is great.

- WOLVES OF THE REVOLUTION. ARCADIAN WILD. This gave so much inspiration for writing a revolution and the people involved in it. Its perfect for that arc. It doesnt bloody matter if said revolution is in a war tragedy of a fanfic.

Theres more but I dont have much to say about them, so just know that Horse Soldier, Horse Soldier (Corb Lund), Solar Waltz (Cosmo Sheldrake), Mvmt II Begin and Never Cease (The Oh Hellos (really bloody Christian but its so good just music wise)(Also Christmas as hell)), The Day Goes On (Bill Wurtz), and my very dear Discord’s Smallest Violin (The AJR Discord) are also very dear to my heart and would probably become something if I had enough commitment and free time and all those other extremely volatile factors to actually learn how to animate. I will, someday. But that day is not today.

Also I swear to you @writer-of-random-things I am writing the climate-change-Coyote-Stories thing. It exists. Or, about half of it exists. I got to The Hand That Feeds and its. Uh. A lot.

[rudywashere]

MARI ANALYSIS (sorta)

NOTE: these are just my personal thoughts about mari’s personality and flaws and most of the proves and reasons i give and show are mostly based off my own interpretation of mari + me projecting myself because she’s a heavykin of mine whagwjswvskegskshq most of the points may sound squishy too because i just copied and pasted everything here while i was talking to my friend at that time

!!!!! AND OBVIOUSLY THERES GONNA BE SPOILERS OF OMORI!!!!!

So many people know and love mari for being the perfect older sister of sunny and overall an older sisterly figure to the rest of the group (except hero of course hahsga) and i am one of those people that love her because of it. despite me heavy kinning her i do have an issue with her character that is kinda being left out whenever people talk abt mari: she barely has any flaws

and whenever the group talked about mari they mostly discussed how perfect she was and how she was literally an angel because of how sweet she is!!! like don’t get me wrong obviously when someone you loved so much dies you can’t think of any negative traits about the person who passed away. you just constantly think about the positive memories you’ve shared with that person. It’s just impossible to think about the negative traits about a beloved one who passed away.

But still even as a mari kinnie myself it kind of bothered me how no one talked about her flaws and such. We all just saw mari as someone who is an older sisterly figure and how perfect she is. The closest we’ve gotten to a flaw of Mari is this

Mari wants to be so perfect that she gets disappointed so quickly when something isn’t good enough for her or doesn’t go according to her plan. That’s it. And whenever people talk about her flaw they mostly associate it with when Mari and Sunny had the fight because Sunny was too pressured thanks to Mari’s perfectionism

PLEASE HOLD ON TO ME IVE GOT A POINT!! Like mari cares ALOT that she HAS to be presented in a perfect manner or else she’ll be unsatisfied. Remember when mari took extra classes to be fully prepared for college??

She did all of it because she really wants to be fully prepared for college. okay now here comes the copy and paste stuff HAVSHAH

If you think abt the college part again mari chose to do these extra classes to be 100% prepared for college and have a perfect start for it because she fears that if she isn’t prepared enough for college, she would fail and failing would not fit her at all because she wants people to see her as a person who can deal with anything and is very independent. It fits to her “perfect status”. So i can see whenever something happens that could even mess some small things up she’ll get frustrated IMMEDIATELY and tries to fix it by herself because Mari is someone who doesn’t want to rely on others. She wants to handle everything by herself.

Personally I think it all started when people started to rely on Mari (mostly the younger ones/the kids that aren’t hero) and start telling her they see her as a motherly/older sisterly figure and mari was so happy to hear it that she doesn’t want to disappoint everyone by failing. So to keep up that title so she will do her best for the sake of not disappointing people. It’s really important to her but also for her friends and Sunny because she cares about them so much.

You could think that Mari’s biggest fear is either the thought of failing itself or disappointing everyone else surrounding her. And I also think that Mari is someone who fears major changes too like MASSIVE changes.

She is someone who wants everyone and everything to stay happy and nice as it has always been. So even the smallest mistake could be horrifying to her and ruin everything, which is why she has to keep everything perfect and make sure everything stays exactly how it is right now. For the sake of her friends’ precious life.

I think the fear of major changes may had hit her SO HARD when she passed away because ever since she died the group had split up, Sunny didn’t leave his house for four entire years and almost everyone isn’t exactly how they used to be. (Aubrey becoming an aggressive person with lots of built up anger or Hero becoming extremely lonely and depressed, having no real desire to keep up)

And because Mari doesn’t want to rely on others and instead lets everyone else rely on her, she doesn’t want to blame anyone for anything that has happened. I remember one specific scene where Sunny looked around in his house and there was some dialogue to a vase that was something like: “A replacement of the vase you have accidentally broken. Mari took the blame for you and said she broke it.”

Hell Mari didn’t even want to blame Sunny for her own death. She instead blames herself. Because of one little mistake she has done. And that mistake was pushing her perfectionism way too hard for the sake of not wanting to disappoint everyone else especially at the upcoming recital. And to think she died while facing one of her worst fears is honestly extremely upsetting for me. Man

Like Mari tried everything from preventing to make something NOT happen only to happen in one of the worst ways possible. Pushing her perfectionism so hard to the of the mistakes she has caused leading her into her own death. And the major changes she has caused to everyone else but also to the friendgroup itself because of it.

I can see why she would take the whole blame for herself and not even dare to make Sunny feel guilty about it. Not only because he’s her little brother but also because she is someone who wants to be responsible. And someone who didn’t want to disappoint everyone else.

PHEWWWWWW

TO SUM IT UP mari is someone who fears failure, little mistakes and especially major changes and her death had made her face those fears. and it’s all thanks to her wanting to be perfect and a reliable, responsible person who’d do anything to make the friend group stay together!!! I really wish omocat wouldve shown more of her flaws in the game and show her “not perfect” nature too!! and her friends would still love her even though she can’t stay perfect forever!!! but she’d still be very very nervous about it!!! again that could be mostly me projecting myself onto her because i heavykin her HAVSGAHSHAH anyways uhmmm if you have read all of it im gonna be SOOO HAPPY ABOUT IT AYAYAYAYA and if not that’s fine too!!’ :D

take care and stay healthy!!!! <333

[ahgasegotarmy116]

(Author) Aghhh the way I fell head over heels for your page and your writing at such a bad time 😩 ( I have exams:,) but I just wanted to let you know how amazing and well written your work is from start to end. Thank you so much and please keep doing what you do.

Idk how this works but I wanted to ask mr Jeon a question.

Hi, I wanted to find out what do you do if you bump into any of your old students after you were done tutoring them and if you would do the same thing you do to those students with oc. Hope you have a lovely day.

Awww I'm sorry I'm a bit of a distraction now but I'm glad you're here! Be sure to take time to study tho okay! We don't want namjoon shaving anyone's eyebrows off haha. But good luck on your exams! I know you'll do great!

Thank you love that really means so much to me 🥺 I'm so so happy you're enjoying my fics and I hope you'll enjoy what I have in store in the future hehe

I really enjoy writing so I'll do my best to stay consistent 🫡 (although I have started to fall in love with reading again so that's taken up some of my time that's for sure but I'm hoping it'll make me a better writer in the long run 🙏🏼)

(Have any of you guy's read A Court of Thorns and Roses? 👀)

Haha no worries girly you're doing just fine. I know which story you're talking about but maybe try to include the acronym of the full name of the story to make it a bit more clear hehe other than that you did great!

This is to The Art of Etiquette (taoe) Jungkook so let's see what he has to say...

Why hello love,

It's been a while since someone's sought me out so I'm surprised and delighted you dropped by.

I've never taken an interest in my students beyond what I was hired to do so I've always kept things strictly professional with them. However some of my students felt differently and definitely tried to pursue me but it was something I had no interest in.

She really is the only one that's caught my eye, and one of those reasons is that she was so different. She wasn't throwing herself at me. She wasn't acting like a spoiled brat (stubborn yes but not spoiled). And she was still putting effort into her lessons.

She kind of surprised me and so that got me paying closer attention to her and what her adorable reactions are to the smallest things I would do to her. Which turned into a fascination and now...well now theres something more to this but I haven't really figured it out yet.

I'm sorry love I got sidetracked but in terms of bumping into another student we keep things short but pleasant while I pretend to care about their lives and achievements as if they weren't the bane of my existence while I was their tutor.

There are a select few that I would be proud to call my students but I don't see them often.

Thanks for the question love,

Feel free to stop by again if you'd fancy another chat, I did rather enjoy this one.

[sm0kebreaks]

So like. As amazing at the tma has been about fat acceptance and love and has been absolutely vital to a lot of my self acceptance as a fat trans man, because this fandom actually talks about fat people (as opposed to other fandoms where fat characters and hcs are nonexistent), it means it’s also exposed me to the most and worst fatphobia of any fandom. I genuinely don’t even gaf about the actual discourse discussed in this fandom, it’s generally the people who negatively react to discourse of ppl complaining about fatphobia. The initial problems are usually ignorable to me, but it ends up bringing up peoples voices that make it incredibly clear what their true thoughts about fat ppl are. Idrk why I thought I should share this with you, ig just seeing if you have similar experiences.

I struggle here because i don't like to feel like i am attacking other artists. i'm a hater and i love to complain but i know i have my own short comings. but when it comes to the fatphobia in this fandom im always left not knowing how to talk about things because people will come to me and tell me why my complaint about someone thinning out a fat character is wrong or bad.

do keep in mind i dont really engage with the tma fandom as much i feel very much on the outskirts so this is jsut what i feel like i see on my end and i'm sure theres way more going on i simply dont know

in recent months we have had a newer influx of artists in the fandom who have come in with their own interpretations of the characters which is all fine and good. its jarring sometimes when we become so used to these formless characters looking a certain way that when new people enter the fandom with different ideas it feels wrong and like an attack.

the biggest issue has been people drawing a thinner martin. and while of course everyones welcome to their own interpretation and martin expressing that he's not exactly the smallest guy has multiple ways to be interpreted it is extremely frustrating to see people take that as giving him the most bare minimum extra weight. especially when having a fat character as desirable and as a love interest and such a Fun character is so far and few between

i could go on and on about how each time a popular artist posts a thin martin it gives everyone who looks up to them the excuse to do the same and it's why it's become such a prevalent thing lately. i don't think popular artists should have to worry about being good role models or anything in a fandom i think if youre making art you should do it for fun but it sucks to see when someone becomes so influential and are creating a problem. i deleted like three paragraphs on this alone so i'm going to move on.

i think what i see in the fandom most in regards to fatphobia is a skill issue. people don't know how to draw fat characters. but it also feels like people are barely trying. the artist i have in mind who i would consider to draw skinny martins DOES add a bit of roundness to him. i can aknowledge theyre doing SOMETHING. but you can't come to me and tell me that i can't criticize their art because culturally that's fat to them... like sure it could be. but it's also definitely a limitation of their art style and ability and instead of defending them and patting them on the back for doing good enough shouldnt we encourage people to grow and improve? what an amazing asset to be able to draw people of all size and variety. thats an AMAZING abillity to have in youre tool belt. i wish i had more resources for drawing bodyfat but unfortunately i do not. i have learned from looking at people and luckily having a lot of large loved ones in my life i've learned from as well as you know.. my own body to learn from. and learning to draw bodyfat and drawing characters i love with it has done wonders for my body dysmorphia.

i went on a rambling tangent and idk how coherent all of that is but the end point is that fatphobia sucks it has no place in this or any fandom and we need to practice our skills instead of erasing something that has made this fandom so wonderful to me.

here's some resources

[blueikeproductions]

Sometimes it seems to me that the problem with female characters in the transformers franchise is that in the end, few people need them? Sometimes, here and there on social media, you can see the dissatisfaction of individual fans who do not like the current or past state of things with regard to female characters, but there is very little response from the audience. Fans have little support for existing female characters or new ones. Fans don't actively rebel when Hasbro once again makes a bad toy of a female character. And a personal observation in a familiar to me, but not the smallest part of the fandom - many female fans are more interested in male characters anyway. And of course there is a part of the fans who want to change the gender of previously existing male characters. And again, it seems to me that there is more love for the characters here, rather than a desire to add a female character.

What should we do about it? Probably nothing, the audience of this franchise is quite established for any changes, so we can only be happy when one of the authors really tries to make a high-quality female character, namely, to make a character and personality first of all.

P.S. A separate camp of fans are those who argue about how to explain the presence of females among transformers and whether it is necessary in principle. Why didn't anyone figure out that you can just explain it through the main origin? There was a Primus - he created Cybertronians in the image and likeness of the alien races he liked, which would explain all the strange appearance in general. If we take the origin of the Quintessons, then it's even easier, they created a product that was convenient for them / customers wanted / in the image of some race that they had previously enslaved.

Yeah it’s a weird circle jerk. Theres nothing wrong with having gals like Elita, Carly, Botanica, Glowstrike, and Hashtag, but writers and fans have a bad habit of needing female bots explained leading to Shockwave’s back handed comment about thinking female Autobots were extinct and IDW’s own confusing over corrections “We never had gender until Jhiaxus rebuilt Arcee for sick kicks, no wait wait, lady bots were a thing, they’re just maybe extinct on Cybertron for some reason, no no wait we still had lady bots all along, they’re just trans women on Cybertron while biological (technological?) women exist on colony planets!” Good grief pick a lane and stick with it.

Not helped is Hasbro’s own stance now that female robots exist only because of Solus Prime, which itself is a little insulting from a “diversity” standpoint because she’s the only lady among the Primes. One could make the argument Amalgamus is gender fluid because of his (their?) ability to Transform into anything, so in a roundabout way there’s two women among the Primes if one wanted to look at it that way, with Adaptus in a similar position (as the Guiding Hand in IDW are all men otherwise).

It’s the same problem I have with modern “diversity” initiatives because all they keep doing is drawing attention to people who are female, ethnic races, or LGBT, but never organically making them actual characters people can relate to and enjoy.

Sari might’ve had Indian roots, but they never drew attention to it instead focusing on making a fun little girl character who was best buds with the Autobots. Sort of the Gosalyn to their Darkwing. They did however draw attention to her (still unresolved) Cybertronian heritage but only because it was important to her backstory and character development. I guarantee if Sari were made today, she’d be a surface level checkbox brat akin to Ironheart who waxes about her people’s hardships and her own perceived problems despite not having any because of her father’s successful company. She forces herself on the Autobots to prove a point that didn’t need to be made, creating an old Stockholm Syndrome where the Autobots love her despite not offering any reason for them to. (It’s worth noting Ironheart’s comics are at least self aware she’s kind of a dipstick because her classmates and her black teacher she goaded into treating her “poorly” were visibly confused at her behavior and hesitantly indulged her whims.)

Cyberverse and EarthSpark are also horrible about this because they feel the need to gender bend most characters like Skywarp & Frenzy, rather than just use Slipstream (which CV did to be fair), create a brand NEW female jet, or in Frenzy’s case, just use Flip Sides.

Interestingly I’ve heard that Hasbro has limits on this, as the CV and ES teams wanted to make Thundercracker into a woman, but Hasbro said no, he’s a legacy player and has to remain a boy. (Or something to that extent.) Why Skywarp gets hit with the gender stick, I don’t know, but Skybound keeps the character male anyway, despite also being a legacy character. I imagine there’s more leeway with the Rainmakers because they were one off generics, and only recently-ish got names and expanded relevancy so it didn’t really matter if they were men or women. (That said, they appear to be still all male in IDW, with only Cyberverse and Earthspark making Nova Storm into a lady bot. Acid Storm was clearly meant to be male in CV, but an animation error and Catt speaking up led to the character being gender fluid unintentionally… who then died horribly. Organic representation, my actuator…) It’s nevertheless created an odd expectation perhaps, as the Seeker trio fluctuates in cartoons now, leading to the idea it’s now two ladies & a dude, with Nova Storm a permanent member in this idea. I don’t mind this in principle since Screamer, Cracker & Warpster were never really a cohesive trio anyway. Starscream was the star, the other two were just there and forgotten in most media. That Starscream/Slipstream, Thundercracker/Skywarp, & Nova Storm came about in modern stories as a group because of modern “diversity” soap boxing and muddled storytelling doesn’t help though.

There’s no real need to explain lady bots, they’re just there and if handled correctly you get awesome ones like BlackArachnia or memorable ones like Strika. Handle them poorly and you get Eren Jaeger Windblade, RiD Ultra Magnus wannabe Pyra Magna, and Primus forbid IDW Slide.

Primus and/or the Quintessons including ladies just because is acceptable because there’s no need to dwell on it, anymore than they decided to make LGBT bots. Live and let live, don’t dwell on it is my feeling. Just have said Transformers be cool and memorable and they happen to be this or that, I don’t know why that’s such a lost art anymore.

[rand0mfangurlstuff]

Sing Yourself to Sleep - Bucky x Y/N - Part Five - You Right

Thank you so much to everyone who is enjoying this series so far. I'm really enjoying combining my love for writing with my love for music.

I want to preface this by saying I do not condone cheating in any form. This is purely for entertainment. Cheating is always wrong especially when the person doing the cheating is married to a genuinely nice person. Obviously, nothing in my story is based on the real life people and I have no idea what Colonel Clarke was like in real life. In my story however, he is a nice guy and a good husband, a bit stuffy and boring maybe, but he is a nice guy. He doesnt deserve to be cheated on. But the heart wants what it wants and Y/N wants Bucky!

Anyway, this part is a little steamy, theres a lot of kissing, heavy petting and other things. Based somewhat on You Right by The Weeknd and Doja Cat. Previous Part Here

They were moths to each other's ever growing flames. They couldn't get enough of each other. Like addicts begging for even the smallest hit, they begged for eachothers touch in even the smallest of ways. Their shoulders would brush as they would pass by each other in even the widest of hallways. Fingers touching longer than necessary when one would pass something to the other.

The only time they could openly touch each other was when they were dancing at the officers club. Colonel Clarke was delighted to have Bucky dance with his wife, leaving him to smoke cigars with some of the older officers. But inbetween dances she would still glance back to the Colonel, checking on him like a good wife. It drove Bucky insane. He wished the Colonel would go to his quarters and leave him and Y/N alone. He knew it was wrong, she was someone elses girl. But he knew she should be his girl. Their chemistry was too strong to deny.

Y/N felt awful. Everytime she looked at her husband she felt guilty and sad. She knew he didnt deserve this betrayal. She tried to break it off with Bucky serveral times but each time he just had to look at her with those eyes and she melted. He was far too good at knowing what to say and do to get her thoughts of ending things to vanish. Such is what happened last week after the party at the officers club.

They were the last to leave the club, having to be forced out by the staff. Bucky had his arm around her waist. She was headed in the direction of her quarters, when he pulled her round to the side of the building. Suddenly his lips were on hers. 'I've wanted to do that all night.' he said as he broke the kiss, forehead against hers. 'Bucky someone could see us!' she looked around rappidly. 'Everyones gone to bed doll. It's just you and me.' He kissed her again, she kissed him back. It quickly deepend into an intense, hungry kiss. Like all their kisses did. His hand moved to her breast, the other to her rear. He pulled her closer to him and she could feel how turned on he was. He moved to kiss her neck and she let out a moan. 'Oh Bucky, we have to stop.' she half moaned. He mouth said no, but the way she was grinding herself against his thigh said otherwise. 'I can't help it, I want you.' 'But.. Bert- Albert might be waiting for me.'

Bucky stopped cold. The last thing he wanted was to be reminded of her husband. He felt bad, he really did. But he couldn't help how he felt about her. And yes, he did have real feelings for her. It wasn't just physical, though he was yet to tell her that. 'Your gonna be the death of me.' he said into her neck. 'I'm sorry, I'm worried if I'm not back soon he might come looking. We really need to stop this. It's not right.' Bucky lifted his head to look at her, he caressed her cheek. 'I know doll, I don't feel great about it either. But it's also not right to deny ourselves happiness in times like these. There's a war you know.' he said with a smirk. She was powerless to the smile that spread across her face. 'Stop talking nonsense and kiss me.' she said.

Every day he found a reason to for them to be alone together. Yesterday he had used the excuse of helping her 'taste test' a cake for one of the mens birthdays to get her alone in the kitchen. He tasted more than just cake.

She was sitting on the edge of the counter. Her thighs either side of Bucky's head. He licked at her folds in the most sensual way. One hand wrapped around her thigh while the other played with her most sensitive area. She was gasping for air, her pleasure taking over her. She was close. She bit on her hand to stiffle her screams of pleasure as his tongue went deeper inside her. When she came, she came hard. Like a damn breaking and an river crashing through her. She fell back to lie on the counter top. When Bucky was satisfied that he had truly worn her out, he moved up her body to kiss her, she could taste herself on his lips. 'That was...wow.' she said, still trying to catch her breath. 'You are wow.' he said as he kissed the top of her breasts peeking out from her blouse. It was then that they heard the door of the main building opening. They both jumped away from each other, Y/N fixing her hair and fixing her clothes. Bucky readjusted his trousers in an attempt to hid his buldge.

Charlie, one of the cooks, walked through the door. 'Oh hello Y/N, Major Egan. How are you both today?' He said while putting on his apron. Y/N hoped her blush wasnt as bad as it felt. Before she could answer, Bucky stepped in. 'Hey Charlie boy! Settle a depate for us, which is better? Plain vanilla or rich chocolate?' Bucky gave a sly wink to Y/N, letting her know they he was not just talking about frosting. 'Uh, I like anything really, but chocolates nice.' Bucky patted him on the shoulder 'See Charlie knows that chocolate will always win.' With that he dipped his finger into the frosting and put on a big show of seductively licking it off. With that he gave her another wink and walked out the door.

Now she found herself in a supply closet, standing on one leg with her other wrapped around Bucky's waist as he trust inside her. It wasn't the most romantic situation, but neither one of them could say they were trying to make love to one another. This was sex. She would have preferred sex in a bed, less chance of bumping into things or getting a cramp in her leg. But this was all they could do, a few stolen moments in a closet. Bucky's thrusts became erratic, he was close. He kissed and nipped at her neck just below her ear, and his hand reached down to where they were joined. 'Come with me baby.' he whispered in her ear. A few more strokes and some rubbing of her sensitive nerves and she was falling over the edge with him. She felt him come inside her, her walls twitching around him. Both breathless, foreheads touching, the dim light of the small room made it hard for them to see each other. But she could feel the smile on his face as he kissed her. 'I love it when you do that.' He said between soft kisses. 'Do what?' 'Let yourself go. Let yourself go over the edge with me.' She smiled, a teasing tone to her voice, 'You don't live me much of a choice, hard not to let go when you touch me like that. I never-' she stopped herself. Knowing she should not say what she was about to say. 'Never what?' 'Nothing.' she said, hoping to distract him with more kissing. He knew what she was thinking though. 'He doesn't make you come like I do?' he said smirking. He loved the fact that he could make her feel things her husband couldnt. 'A woman like you should be made to feel that good every day, several times a day.' He started kissing the sensitive spot behind her ear again. It wasn't that Albert wasnt good in bed, it was nice. It didn't happen as often these days, but when it did it was nice. It just wasnt as good as sex with Bucky. She realised they had been in this closet for far too long, and anyone could see. 'We need to get out of here. I'll go, wait ten minutes and then leave. We can't ben seen coming out of a closet together.' 'Only if a get another kiss.' She took his face in her hands and kissed him with all her might, knocking the air out of him. 'There you go. Remember, wait ten minutes.'

Y/N left, making sure to put as much distance between her and the closet as fast as possible. Bucky checked his watch and exactly eleven minutes later we walked out of the closet. Where Gale 'Buck' Cleven stood waiting for him. His sudden appearance made Bucky jump. 'Jesus! Buck you trying to give me a heart attack?' 'No, but you clearly have a death wish.' Buck replied.

[weirdcat1213]

Its time for the weekly horrors- I mean Trimax vol 3 >:3

The Thoughts:

chap 1:

-AH EVERYTHING IS FALLING

-bro you are about to get into a fight can you stop thinking about your bf for 5 minutes

-fr tho, vash's words making him hesitate/angry is so dcfgjhbkml

-why everyone wants my babygirl dead :c

-now now, comparing someone with their brother isnt a nice thing to do

-oh so now we're not even making an allegory, he actually called him jeesus

-also "your soul is forced to endure the sorrow by the hundreds, suffering by the thousands, and the rage by the hundreds of thousands" im gonna throw up cuz of how that GOOD and PAINFUL that shit is

-the polar opposite of being a human huh...i mean besides something i said weeks ago about how he's further away from humanity more than he would like that point is interesting cuz most of the time we call him someone who is more human than any other person. he carries more pain than any human could endure and definitely has more patience than anyone will ever have but...hm...i want to come back to this

-ww pls dont make me cry today pls honey

-oh im gonna cry

-"your ideals will join you in the grave" i fucking hate thats the reason why we all try to be better people, thanks to that fucking wet cat of a man i cannot deal actually

-MILLIE :D

chap 2:

-i dont have much to say about battles but let it be on the record that I'm enjoying ww's eyes sm

-oh page 38 is cool as hell

-OH SHIT IS THAT HIS FUCKING SPINE????

chap 3:

-ww stop having pretty eyes youre distracting

-meanwhile :3

-ah geesus the body horror (so good but creepy)

-EYES :D

-so many fucking details. nightow got down even the smallest scribbles, as 98 vash would say

-oh right that....thats still upsetting

-i fucking swear people need to leave my son alone

-also fucking hate that he had to SHOOT A BABY even if it was fake

-I FUCKING HATE THIS ACTUALLY

-i can feel his fucking mind breaking i cant do this

chap 4:

-"i cant do this" yet here i am lmao

-i think if vash held me like hes holding that girl a lot of my problems would be resolved ngl

-characters reciting names always get to me :c

-also HA EAT THE PTSD ASSHOLE

-"why are there so many" brad you may want to sit down for this one

-..................i deadass thought "oh the doctor is here" IVE READ THIS BEFORE AND I FELL FOR IT AGAIN

-vash with his hair down :3

-nah hes not gonna kill you BUT HE FUCKING SHOULD

-oh i will kill so many people (vash is bleeding)

-hm. this reminds me of something in houseki no kuni (i wont spoil but maybe ichikawa had trigun as inspo which would be cool af)

chap 5:

-oh im yeeting myself (ww thinks about the children) -ww gives in his anger and fear when punching those weirdass faces but I'm gonna say this once: that doesn't make him weaker or worst. i haven't seen anyone think that of ww, i just feel that when he compares himself to vash he feels that way and i cant stand it :)

-vash i fucking swear-

-oh god the fingers...the fucking fingers...

-oh you are NOT talking to my vash about pain and agony

-OH WAIT I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT PANEL OH GOD NO I HATE REREADS WTF

-XD my girls

no wait i need to get back to that. i thought that was emilio's dad not fucking vash himself oh my god I'm sick so sick actually wtfffffffffffff

chap 6:

-is this the chapter with the gays eyes cuz I'm not ready for that-

-oh fuck you nightow. fuck you for putting knives in the title page and the title being "families"

-i want to punch so many things but I'm at work. fuck

-also i forgot about this stampede parallel GOD WHEN DOES MY SUFFERING END

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE GAY EYESSSSSSS

-yeah i agree this is literally the moment. like fuck. fuck actually. fuck what else is there to say.

-fuck

-like hes so fucking terrified that he was afraid for him, what his journey is causing ww, but even if he wanted ww to stay away and safe he knows ww would say fuck off, but also vash would not be able to take it

-THERES SO MUCH FEAR AND LOVE IN THOSE EYES IM GONNA BITE MY HAND

-OH I CANT ACTUALLY WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH WTF

-im so fucking upset cuz the last 3 chapters were basically fights. they were full of energy and shit but now that is over and they are in a rare moment of peace, and everything fucking hits.

-im gonna go outside and step into oncoming traffic

-YES LUIDA MY QUEEN SHUT HIM UP

-WOLFWOOD :D pls never leave me

-i....*implodes*

-i am nothing. i just remembered that.

-OH CMONNNNNN

chap 7

-maybe i dont want to read trimax anymore. maybe a little person like me isn't strong enough for a 2nd round of the pain. with that in mind, lets keep reading :D

-WHERES THE NIGHTOW PUNCHING BAG WHEN YOU NEED IT

-wolfwood what he is it doesnt matter i swear pls cant you just love him?

-:c

-i dont like vash being emotionally attached to stuff cuz that means i have to yell HES LIKE ME FR FR

-oh that....that beautiful panel...amazing

-i think my mind blocked this out because of the previous sad things that happened, so now my brain is allowing me to process more sad things :3

-"i still have so much i must do" and i see i still have many tears to cry out huh?

-ofc wolfwood would ask about redemption

-cant my man show an important part of his past and show vulnerability in front of his friends in peace? damn

-im gonna start bitting my glasses

-GAY MOMENT PART 2 INCOMING

-luida pls i want to stop crying

-oh wolfwood honey....you just fell so hard for my man didnt ya

-i just realized the chapter is called "life as a" and I THINK the idea is to complete it with "life as a 'vash the stampede'" cuz he's not human

OK GREAT NOW I CAN RUN TO THE WASHROOM AND FUCKING CRY :D

[prestonmonterey]

heheh it's that long or short anon message of what i think about you!!!!!!!!!!!

hmmmm okay so i do not know how close we are

i don't usually consider people my friend unless they consider me their friend first, out of like politeness, but i wanna be friends!!! we might already be friends and i don't know i think this is because of autism maybe or maybe anxiety idk idk

but anyways i think you are really interesting i do not want to overstep or be creepy or weird so its not at all like that but you are very interesting to me!!!! the version of you I my head is like there's two of them. theres.. preston.. adamandi and then the other version of you in my head you have black hair thats sort of like beatrix's if it was straight? and you're also tall to me

the way your brain works about certain things (ex: whenever we talk about the universe and whatnot :3) makes me stim, uuhm i think you're really cool and i like asking you questions and i like talking to you

we're literally vincent and preston from adamandi!!!! literally us!!!! therefore we don't like eachother /j /j

in my head it's like.. silly joking i don't actually dislike you not at all you're like the coolest ever and we barely really know eachother

I WANNA HEAR ABOUR YOUR TTS THOUGHTS TOO i love reading your posts about it heheh

if you were an animal i think you'd be some sort of horse or a pony. or maybe a bird or a lizard

if you were a planet in our solar system you'd be mercury, since it's the closest to the sun and the smallest planet (in our solar system, again)

aaand if you were a color you'd be blue.... if you were a star you'd be a red dwarf star... and you're like the random, decomposed animal bones you find in the woods on accident to me

i would love 2 know how your brain works but also im like that with everyone i wanna just crawl inside their minds and pull out the bad and the good i think i am autistic

if you were a pattern you'd be stripes. not zebra stripes or anything just plain block stripes! no specific colors. if you were a year you'd be 1835

i like associating people with things if you can't tell /silly (i ran out of explanations so I'm just telling you what you are to me)

if you were a rock you'd be limestone

if you were a household appliance you'd be that one fork in the kitchen that nobody uses to actually eat with, but the design on the handle is pretty !!!! not in a mean way that sounds rlly mean sorry

if you were a flower you'd be a daffodil; symbolizing forgiveness, unrequited love, rebirth, and eternal life. i think. i'm not headcanoning you to have unrequited love im just saying the meanings i remember off the top of my head. also it's yellow!

uummmmm yeah you reblogged this yesterday i think and i said i would so. here u go its not really that long but im also procrastinating sleep so. tired!

yayayay :D this is so sweet im actually giggling and kicking my feet rn /gen /p

i also wanna be friends!! youre v cool :3

i also totally get the like 2 versions thing i have the same thing for my online friends :D heehee im kinda tall for my age i think? like 5'5'' i really really wish i had curly hair :((( (my dad had kinda curly hair but asian genes prevailed so i have pretty thick, mostly straight hair) and i have an undercut :\ (not sure how i feel about my haircut rn. it looks kinda awful bc i have a scar on the back of my head where hair doesnt grow. bc scar tissue)

hmm for me rn you just look like vincent. but like. maybe a bit shorter idk

i also love hearing about your thoughts theyre so cool!!!

i think if you were an animal youd be maybe a mouse or raccoon?

if you were a planet i think saturn, not sure why

if you were a color i think youd be a warm, dark orange, like pumpkin pie or autumn leaves. idk you kinda remind me of fall i think

if you were an object youd be an old compass that someone found in their attic that was like passed down from their great grandparent or something

if you were a pattern you'd be honeycomb or tartan. colors would be sunflower yellow, brown and moss green

if you were a year youd be 2000 i think. last time all humans were on earth. not sure why but that fact reminds me of you

if you were a rock youd be jasper

if you were silverware youd be a teaspoon with a really long handle, if you were a general household thingy youd be those door handle/lever things with a spiraly end

idk anything about flower meanings TwT but i think youd be a black eyed susan or forget me not

:DDD

[pacifymebby]

omg pls can you do a deep into of sam like sam birth chart!!!

Okay birth chart deep dive, I'll elaborate on anything I can if you want to know more. I also think it's worth noting as a little disclaimer that I'm not an expert and this is just a bit of fun, and that also the way I've been taught (really loosely too) to view astrology and tarot etc is as tools for reflection, things that help people learn more about themselves by reflecting upon the guidelines and nudges you're given from the birth chart etc. So like none of this is fact lol

so here is the birth chart... I'm not mad knowledgable about some of the planets influences and im also aware that not everything applies to every person of a particular sign, stuff I feel I've observed from like his music or interviews etc I will highlight in bold!

here goes:

Before we do individual signs I'm going to talk about general vibes...

His chart is heavy with earth sign placements which definitely implies his Taurus Sun could be a dominant planet. His chart is 50% earth signs which really doubles that earthy/homebody nature. When I think of Earth signs I think of the roots of a really old tree, good soil thats nurturing, someone who tries to be dependable because they value being able to depend on people, someone who values closeness with a small inner circle of family/friends etc.... theres just something down to earth about them etc.

Secondly, theres a concentration of water signs which can imply emotional sensitivity, high levels of empathy. You know how water/ liquids can get into even the tiniest crack, I view water signs as being people whose feelings do that to them... they feel emotions in a very whole and all consuming way, if they love someone that love seeps into every element of their being and life... if they're hurt they feel that ache at even the smallest reminder, if they're angry that anger can linger in the darker corners of their brain, like they can feel flooded and the feelings can be lasting.

Taurus sun

which is a very earthy, solid, fixed sign.

Taurus is generally know as the most "earthy" earth sign, they're known for being stubborn and loving comfort and luxury however those are really surface level stereotypes which don't really get to the crux of Taurean nature.

The way I interpret Taurus as a sign is this: they value the idea of home, whatever home is to them specifically (and obviously this is influenced more by nurture and environment than nature and stuff you're born with). If you think about the things that make you feel at home you'll probably find you think of, your bed, your house, your family, your possessions, but also your friends, your hometown, your partner... Taurus are known for liking to own material possessions but it's less about being materialistic and more about cultivating a stable, familiar and cosy home. Literally if I had to choose one word to sum up Taurus the word I would choose is Home. That idea of "home" is what gives them their drive, its what fuels that stubbornness, its what fuels their materialism, its why they're protective, possessive people etc... its all about wanting to find/make/keep your home in this world.

Taurus likes to feel rooted and secure and having that threatened can be distressing. They like stability.

Love language is often physical touch, wanting to physically hold onto what's "theirs". Taurus is a really physical and therefore sensual sign. Big on holding hands, random kisses and small displays of affection, resting your head on someones shoulder, falling asleep on someone etc... physical closeness is key for that feeling of earthy connection and security.

Taurus are also known for being very work hard play hard which in terms of Sam makes me think of that interview on GMB? where he's turned up on time early in the morning but he's hanging out his arse because he was on the lash the night before. (As a Taurus sun myself I can confirm that hangover shifts are frequent and inevitable)

It's that thing about them being fixed though, when Taurus makes a decision, they can be very determined to stick with it and very stubborn about the decision. If they have dreams they're driven to achieve them... but because they value comfort and home so much they won't often sacrifice those good times... especially because those good times, their family and friends, having fun, are what drive them to be successful... they kind of have that instinctual knowledge that it isn't worth sacrificing your comfort for riches and success...

And again I guess you can apply this to relationships in that, once a Taurus chooses you they're choosing to build a home with you, they're bringing you into that close inner circle and they want things to work. Dedication is probably another Taurus Keyword haha. They're very Ride or Die people.

Virgo Moon

although its also worth noting that I did his birth chart with two different times of day earlier and because we don't know his time of birth theres a potential for his moon to be in Leo (which would make him the same moon placement as Lana Del Rey)

So I'll talk about possibilities of both I guess...

The moon rules emotions, your inner thoughts and feelings, the you you are when you feel safest... its a side to you you'll only show to people you trust not to misjudge you...

Virgo is another earth sign so again we have that driving need for stability, which in Virgos can express itself through a need for order (don't mistake this for me saying that a virgo moon is organised and on top of things, plenty of them aren't and it sucks for them haha my boyfriends moon is virgo and he's the most chaotic stressed out lad I know)

Another thing thats common among Virgo Moons is that they have this need to be needed... which you can trace back to stability again because if someone needs and depends on you they aren't going to leave and your place in the world is going to remain rooted and tangible for you. And also for those of you interested that need to be needed is very Daddy

Virgos are naturally quite guarded though, they can be nihilistic and cynical, they don't wear their hearts on their sleeves... they can appear shy/ withdrawn and keep themselves at arms length from people until they trust them... they might not necessarily be all for gushing displays of affection with people they don't really know or trust... However when it comes to that inner circle of people they do let in, they're very earthy and affectionate. It's just all about trust and they can take awhile to do that.

Something which has just occurred to me too is that in terms of moral views, views of right and wrong, virgo is the mutable earth sign, they can be balanced. They're real thinkers and whilst they have a firm view on right and wrong, they're not black and white about it... they have the capability to think very deeply and consider many perspectives. I am again thinking of Sam's song White Privilege, I've always admired those lyrics for being able to highlight all these troubles in the modern world without stating that one side is right about everything and the other is evil and wrong... he highlights how theres many shades of grey and I think like thats very cool thing to be able to do, especially when you're talking about things which have impacted you personally and stuff.

Oh also they can be painfully self aware/ self conscious and can be crazy anxious, which they feel very much within the body, like anxiety that makes them feel sick, stomach aches, heavy feeling in like your abdomen and lower half of your body if that makes sense?

Thinking about that anxiety and that need to be needed, they won't necessarily feel like they're capable of providing for the people who need them, it can be a really contradictory thing which expresses itself through the fear of letting everyone down and not being good enough for those they love!!!

He could also be a Leo Moon however and whilst a lot of the virgo moon stuff makes sense to me, him having a Leo placement somewhere would make a lot of sense to me because something I've observed about a lot of Performers is that theres a Leo somewhere significant in their chart.

Leos have a rep for being attention whores and drama queens but honestly this isn't really true at all...

especially in moon placements...

Whilst its true that Leos are natural performers, when it comes to a moon placement its often that they shine in the company of those they trust... when with family and friends they often do light up the conversation/ room, they take up the role of storyteller/ comic/ entertainer easily/ happily in environments where they feel comfortable

Obviously the general consensus for all humans is that we need to feel loved/known in order to be happy so this is going to sound like a "that could be true of everyone" statement however some people need to feel loved and appreciated more than others... and Leo Moons need to feel loved by others... it comes less from a place of feeling entitled to the affection and admiration of others and more from a place of like, thats how they love other people so they need it back. Leo moons will pour their whole soul into those they love be it family friends or lovers. Leo is a very noble/ ostentatious sign, its very go big or go home you know... they don't appreciate half hearted, theres no point in loving and being loved if you're not doing it with your whole chest....

Generally I have observed that Leo Moons can't hide their emotions, they definitely cry when they're angry, they definitely can't hide when they're hurting... they have very communicative eyes (something I think actually might be why they make successful musicians and actors etc, being able to bare your soul is quite important there)

Prone to a big fucking sulk... they stew on their negative emotions for fucking ages, they will not just brush stuff off... if they feel slighted by someone they care about, if they feel they've fucked up something important or let someone down, if they feel angry at an injustice they will sulk for days and days and they will wear that sulk on their face and be gloomy and brooding

They're also really big on Justice, Leos have a very set view on fairness and they definitely feel compelled to fight the good fight, right wrongs and stand up for what is right.

Also if he is a Leo Moon I saw this on cafe astrology which resonated a little

"Highly imaginative, but may have difficulty concentrating. He fantasizes frequently. Mental diversity, quick to learn, observant, enjoys studies, may be fidgety, move around a lot, or travel frequently.

You are very responsive, communicative, and curious. You can have a talent for imitating others and/or picking up languages. You might either intellectualize your emotions rather than truly feel them and deal with them, or you communicate with excessive emotion. Some of you may do both at different times and, as you mature and develop, you learn to find a balance."

I guess this is the thing about astrology that can either rub people the wrong way or really fascinate them. Lots of the observations are like "could be that my moon is in the third house or it could be ADHD" "could be that my moon is in Leo or it could be my numerous mental health issues" and thats why I say that its better to view astrology as a tool for encouraging self reflection rather than "the planets are the reason I have anxiety disorder etc" because that would be high-key reductive and unhelpful, I don't really like that kind of interpretation haha, for example I think my own birth chart gives a solid read of me but I don't think the planets fated my eating disorder into existence you know?

Mercury in Aries

Fire sign in the planet that rules communication in-ter-res-ting.

Mercury rules communication, its all about how you express yourself...

And having a fire placement here would make a lot of sense for a musician/ performer... because fire signs are like burning bright, light up the room, explosive like fireworks you know, they can draw attention to themselves when they want to... and sometimes they can't help it either they just have a natural pull about them.

This is a planet I'm not that familiar with I won't lie, however fire signs generally are associated with being quite sparky... They can be very quick to make a decision, they can often dive into a decision and follow an immediate gut instinct... They can be very impulsive

Aries is associated with being both charming and charismatic, whilst also being a little blunt - like they're straight forward, won't obfuscate endlessly or pussyfoot around stuff. They're not afraid of contradicting someone they disagree with...

However a thing with astrology is that some planets have stronger influence on you than others, you have dominant planets and though I'm not going to pretend I could accurately tell you what Sam's are what I will say is this... Sam's chart is so heavy with each signs that the earth influence is definitely strong, and like a way I was told to look at the signs is this (sounds primitive so pls forgive me) air fuels fire, earth suffocates fire, water puts out fire, water nourishes earth etc...

I'm bringing that up here because basically whilst Aries can be brash and impulsive, its worth considering how those earth placements could effect this... it could imply that he makes the snap decision in the moment and then spends days and weeks ruminating on the decision, getting anxious, questioning himself...It could mean he's prone to trusting his gut instinct, which is gonna be an earthy gut instinct so could wind up making the impulsive/ thoughtless decision to stick to what he knows etc... it could be that he makes impulsive gut decisions but those decisions are all rooted in that need for stability/ home. If something feels like it could potentially hurt or threaten people close to him/ his home he won't want to think too long about shutting the decision down if that makes sense? He'd just be like nah fuck that I won't even consider it...

Fire sign in mercury can mean you're a proper wind up merchant who enjoys teasing and getting a rise out of your friends, playing devils advocate in an argument or just saying things for the fun of watching your friends jaw hit the floor.... I think it can make people very playful communicators. I know a few people with Fire Mercury placements and they're all absolute shithouses that really love winding their pals up for a laugh.

Aries is really spontaneous and I feel like an Aries communicator is good at improvising/ performing on the spot... in relation to Sam I am reminded of those old insta stories where he'd video people on the street and voice over them, he was very good at being incredibly funny on the spot.

Venus in Taurus

I feel like Venus is the Planet you're all here for haha, the one which rules love. It's not just about love though Venus is one of the planets which rules emotions, it also rules your values, and like how you "share" with others.

Taurus is a very physical, sensual sign... it's of the body.

They're the earthy earth sign and as I said earlier they're driven by stability, like the roots of a tree which run deep into the earth they want to have their place within the world where they're comfortable, their own personal haven/ sanctuary...

And what's love if not that...

Taurus really values dependence, they want for you to depend on them whilst needing to be able to depend on you too. In love that means needing each other intensely...

And with dependence and mutual dependence we see that possessive/ protective side play out. They have a tendency to view those they love as "theirs" as possessions... not possessions as in inanimate objects but possessions as in, I belong to you and you belong to me. They're determined to possess and protect those they love and will be stubborn about doing so.

Definitely have healthy jealousy in relationships, if someones theirs they want them to be all theirs, they want to be the centre of one another's universe. They don't like to see other people flirting with their partner etc... they will definitely make an effort to assert themselves in these situations and remind everyone that that person is theirs.

Physical Touch is important to them, they want to hold onto those they love, they want to feel them with them, their presence in the room is not always enough, they need to feel their lovers physical connection to the body. This can be like holding hands, sleeping with your head on their chest or theirs on yours, having their hands on you in some way... or it can be more abstract... things like matching tattoos, wearing each others clothes, gifting something like a ring or a necklace your partner never takes off, having something of your lover's in your pocket which makes you think of them whenever your fingers brush over it... Taurus is sentimental, they attach emotions to physical objects.

In comparison to Fire or Air signs Taurus romances are often slow burn, they can seem less exciting because they're consistent... Taurus is dedicated and stable, it means you won't be left guessing their love for you... however it can be more laidback than some would like... a Venus Taurus isn't about to take you skydiving on a date or immediately jump into a wild and crazy sex life... their idea of romance is centred around cosy comfort, familiarity... Expect cosy evenings at home, lots of cuddles etc...

And people often mistake "not spontaneous" for boring but when you think about it, who is going to be able to best please you? Someone who's taken the time to know all your intimate details or someone who's dived in spontaneously and is looking for a hot romance that burns out fast (im not critiquing fire/air Venuses I myself am an air Venus!!) All I'm saying is that Taurus Venus are of the body, they know the body... and they take the time to know you... so put two and two together for me here and understand that actually this slowness is probably what makes the relationship so worthwhile and rewarding in the long term...

Taurus Venus is basically useless for a one night stand but absolutely marriage/ daddy material.

Again they're stubborn, once they choose you they've chosen you, they're going to harbour their little crush for a really long time, they're going to feel strongly about you for a really long time... probably struggle to cut off after a break up.... they definitely always kid themselves that you can stay friends... they don't like to let go of things that mean a lot to them and so breakups are really painful and they probably take a long time to get over someone that means a lot.

They also can't keep up the fake friend facade, they struggle when something doesn't feel genuine (thinking of that line in Wild Grey Ocean about "the good time gang, never there when shit goes down") They value a close inner circle of people they can trust, people who feel like home.

Mars in Aries

so your mars placement is all about action, physicality... its said to have a strong influence on both conflict and sex for this reason.

People with a fire sign in mars can have quick tempers, their emotions can come on strong and fast, blazing and then burning out leaving a trail of destruction...

This is another placement where I think you have to remind yourself of the earth placements which litter the rest of his chart...

Whilst Aries in Mars is short tempered and may be prone to "blowing their top" generally they don't hold grudges and the anger is short lived, like a firework display or a fire ripping through a house. They often burn up quickly having done a lot of damage in a short amount of time...

However Sam's a Taurus, he's got potentially a virgo moon, his Venus is Taurus, he's got those Capricorn placements too and his Lilith is also an Earth sign... so actually I think with Sam his anger probably does linger (see, the lyrics to almost all of his songs) I think he does feel the lasting impact of conflict and doesn't just walk away from an argument never thinking about it again.

But thats not to say he isn't very fiery in an argument... We know from the way he talks about the state of the country that he's very anti injustice and he does talk about anger being a struggle of his...

So for him Aries in Mars could mean that he's quite fierce and impulsive in an argument, when he thinks he's arguing for what's right, when he feels wronged or feels that he has to protect someone else or himself, he could be very abrasive, very hot tempered etc...

Strikes me as the kind of person to bottle up their grievances and then explode. Could maybe be someone with a tendency to cry when they feel overwhelmed by their anger and they don't know what to do.

Aries in Mars is passionate, quick burning passion in both conflict and union.

So its worth joining the dots between a taurus Venus with a mars Aries... all that I was saying about physicality and sensualness could definitely be played on here, it could be a sign that whilst taurus Venus offers long term stability and familiarity, passion doesn't wain over time... You have like a fiery sparks fly element to lust, whilst having the possessiveness of taurus...

if you ask me thats hot idk.

Theres also that combination of fire in the planet that rules the physical side of sex and earth in the planet that rules the romance emotion side of sex.... that leads to a certain kind of intensity for sure. I'll let yous draw your own conclusions from this but yeah, possessive emotions, deep knowledge of your partner and that long term trust and dependence, wanting your partner to Need you... matched with a fiery physical side...

I'm not gonna go crazy into details here because sex is a really deeply personal thing anyway and is definitely influenced by very personal things... which maybe someone more knowledgable of astrology could start to pick at but like, I can't and don't really want to either haha sorry.

Mars in Aries don't want to be messed around, they can be impatient, can be hard to keep up with... they can flit from romance to romance... the way I view this here though, when you compare with the Venus Taurus/ Sun Taurus is that a person with this combination of signs may be restless to find "the one" but may have this constant battle with the impatience, they might be hesitant to commit to something if they don't trust its going to be the real thing, they might have a string of romances whilst hunting for the person where everything just immediately clicks... but that then when it does its all or nothing and they very impulsively make that decision like "right here we go this is the one together forever finally"

Like they might shock you with how quickly they say I Love You.

Feelings come on super fast and they can have dramatic mood swings if they aren't in a balanced place, like quick to become excitable and then just as quick to sulk if something kills their vibe.

Theres something persistent about them when it comes to actioning their dreams... they're not ones to give up easily even if they come up against setbacks... they might take a bit to get over a hurdle or failure, they might be overly self critical but they will come back fighting every time because they have that burning desire to prove themselves to themselves.

At this point in a chart I don't know much at all but I do find it interesting that this is where a lot of his water signs come into play.

His Jupiter is Scorpio and his Saturn is Pisces. Both of these placements indicate a level of patience and resilience. It made me laugh apparently Saturn in Pisces can give you sullen sense of humour (George Harrison of the Beatles is a famous Pisces with this exact nature)

I think Saturn can indicate your creativity too, so having an all feeling water sign in here, thats quite a pessimistic melancholic sign, would make a lot of sense... like, I kind of get that you know?

Also I saw this right at the bottom of his cafe astrology reading and it made me die a bit. Like its just really sweet but also all those times he sings about being scared to have kids because what if he's a bad father, and then like wanting kids maybe but being worried he won't be good enough...

"Virgo on House IV

Can make a good parent, watching over his children, spending the night in an armchair near a sick child, caring for and calming them with patience. Similar manner for creative "children" or immediate family. He knows how to look after his home perfectly, how to iron out difficulties through his practical sense and thanks to his intelligence."

Anyways I think im done, hope you enjoyed, if you have any questions flood my inbox I guess haha

[her-acts-of-cruelty]

it’s over, isn’t it?

theres a lack of lemon content and i am here to change that

this is some domestic stuff i wrote out of spite, because we as a fandom are not exploiting the thomas thing

written for the sexy @suniico

.............................

“You’ve got to be taking the piss” he’s wide eyed and leaning away from you in defeat, “how have you never seen thomas the tank engine?”

You shrug, ”not something i really put on, fireman sam was good though”

“Love, I don’t think this relationship can go on much longer, I have to educate you” he hunches over to grab the remote to the tv.

“Do i get a say in this?” 

“No, you’re gonna stop, watch, and learn and then after the first episode I am going to quiz you on what occurred” he points an accusatory finger at you, flicking through the channels without even thinking about it as the familiar theme tune begun to blare out. 

“Great to meet you Mr. Lemon, sir, thought we had finished with school huh?” you groan, leaning back against your citrus lover.

“This is more important than school ever was, Thomas is a way of life” he insists, gesturing to the train rolling onto the screen. 

Unfortunately, you enjoyed the show more than you expected to, and it lasted way more than you thought a children’s cartoon should. It wasn’t quite like a spiritual experience, which must have been the case for Lemon, but you were definitely pleasantly surprised. And, as promised he began asking you quick fire questions, ones like “who was the fat controller? What was the moral of the story? How many trains passed Gordon by?”.  By some weird twist of luck, you had gotten every question right, which earned you a content hum from lemon, “Alright, maybe you did pay attention, good job love.”

“And now?” you raise an eyebrow

“And now what?” 

You scoff, “Well i was expecting, i dunno, a prize? A reward?” 

He laughs softly, turning to face you, “and what did you have in mind?”

Shuffling the smallest bit closer, your eyes drift to his lips, “oh i dunno-”

His comical expression fades and he leans into you- only to be stopped by the intrusion of your hand, “you can do the dishes, and finish the laundry, as you thought you could get away with leaving your blood stained work clothes on the brand new bloody carpet”

A pained huff is all that comes from him at first, “really?”

You get up, “c’mon, i’ve got stuff to do too, what would thomas say?” you half mock him, now realising the weight you had to use against him.

“Fuck off, don’t use thomas against me! You got me excited then, thought me might y’know, bless the new couch” he wiggles his eyebrows at that last part, looking up at you for approval. 

Much to his dismay you scoff, “thomas is right there on that screen, you wouldn’t want him seeing that would you?”

“Oh so im being cockblocked by thomas now? christ almighty” he rests his head in his hands, reevaluating his life choices. 

“Well, ill let you get prepared to do the dishes, thinking of popping out to get a crate of something?” you do an awkward finger gun gesture, which earns you a disappointed sigh. 

“At least get me something would ya? This is a celebration, you lost your train-ginity!”

You give him a disgusted glare, “my what?” 

“You heard me, you got to experience the magic train”

Laughing, you walk out into the hallway to get your coat and shoes on, “i see why tangerine gets pissy whenever you bring up thomas now, did you give him the same lecture?”

Hes stood in the doorway now, leaning against it’s frame, “funny enough, no, because he would wake up every morning at 7am to make sure i didn’t miss an episode, even watched it with me on saturdays” 

You shake your head in a wave of disbelief, “Thanks for letting me be the first person you serenade with Thomas the tank engine? Oh, and the sentimental rant?”

He nods full of glee, “not a problem”

You yank the door handle and open the door, “ill see you soon yeah?” you kiss his cheek

“Woah- hang on there-” he says defensively, putting his hands out as a precaution

“What?”

“I’d like a proper kiss if you’re gonna leave me here like this, yknow, to motivate me”

You roll your eyes before smashing your lips against him, getting a grateful noise from him, you pull away a second later though, “happier?”

He stands tall and grins, you cant help but let out an amused chuckle, “good, ill see you soon love” and off you pop