#and im selfish for that yeah? a lot of it is a desire to find a close friend

[critter-wizard]

ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️

b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3

[beastofmoss]

Here's a little tidbit about me:

I choosed kindness out of pure spite of the world.

[ravenbloodshot]

Pick a Card- Your True Personality

1

2-3

4

5

Instructions: Take a deep breath, and get rid of all thoughts. Then choose a number or decide by looking at the photo, I don't recommend choosing a pile based off your liking for the celeb in the photos, but do as your heart desires. Let's hope your heart steers you to the right pile

Pile 1:

This most definitely is the pile that attracts a lot of PAC veterans (aka ppl who follow a lot of PAC readers). I'm getting the vibe that you may seek a lot of validation from not only people in your life but from PAC's as well, you can get really offended by negative traits that come up in these types of readings and also likely hate all forms of criticism. You are the type to romanticize life and have an inflated ego, thinking of yourself as on a higher pedestal than others. You guys are above average in the looks department and tend to get what you want using your looks/charm. Your not going to have much trouble attracting a romantic partner, but you will have problems making them stay. You can become quite violent and hysterical when you don't get your way and that can turn your partners off. It's as if ppl will find you attractive but once they get to know you, think your batshit crazy and wish to get going asap. I'm definitely getting the vibe that you act high and mighty and like your the queen/king bee out of deep insecurities. Like a person that gets told their pretty/handsome so they go along with that but lowkey live life not 100% sure that's the case. Not calling you a bully but I do see some case of that, if your not a bully could be that you were a victim of bullying or bullied others in the past. Either way you have some aggressive, bullying ways about you.

You may not hold a healthy view of love, believing that it's your partners duty to love and care for you but you don't have to particularly do anything for them. It's the energy of a person who's married to someone completely unconditionally in love with them, while they're just there for the money/gifts. I do think you take good care of yourself (going to the gym, nails done, hair done, skin care on point, closet full of clothes your size and also smaller sizes that your working out to eventually fit into etc...). Your likely single and not happy about it, although you'll never truly admit it to yourself and neither would you to your friends.

This is the pile that has dealt with a lot of heartbreak and may have turned to a selfish but self conscious attitude to cope with it.

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Pile 2:

Ooooo, very passionate and powerful. Im seeing a duality with the feminine and masculine energy (remind me of Ryujin). You guys may be my favorite, I just get this warm tingly feeling and this random burst of energy (If I could meet with you irl, ik I would love you 💕❤ )

You are very elegant and sophisticated, giving rich girl vibes and if not rich you strive to be (and not in the way almost all ppl strive to be rich but I actually feel like you have set plans in place for yourself, your not fucking around when it comes to you getting what you want). I'm getting this real sense of knowing who you are and what you want so your quite easy to understand, you may speak bluntly and get to the point. The femininity I mentioned before shows itself in how you care for others, you protect your loved ones and you won't hesitate to stand up for those weaker than you or just in a worse off position. It's like yeah you know your Queen bee but you don't think your above others in and of itself , you just know your above certain ideas/actions of others (I mentioned this queen bee energy for pile 1, but they seemed more 'fake it till you make it' types while you seem more relaxed and confident in your own crown and still willing to fix other's crowns). Now for the masculine energy. I keep hearing the saying "I rule with a iron fist", so you guys may be quite stubborn and set in your ways. I'm also seeing a bit of a temper, you guys give such Taurus vibes, but it takes a while for it to really show its head. I don't think you blow up for every little thing but once your temper ignites, there's no putting out the flames until the fire runs its course (I'm seeing Canadian fires, how terrible and drawn out they were, it's the same as your temper).You do hold this view of "I deserve.....", which can help you to have the confidence to go after who/what you want but when your entitlement is extreme/irrational, you can come off as just a pushy asshole.

You definitely have this healing vibe to you along with this innocent love of animals, plushies, kids and all things cute and cuddly. You may talk to your pets (if you don't own a pet, you should, they will bring you a deep sense of peace/happiness). You love to feel like you've fixed people and things, you can become obsessed with helping ppl get out of their troubles and try to tend to their mental/physical health. One thing I will say is I think your the type to love the chase in relationships (you may become obsessed with being with a person who doesn't want you).

Last thing is , you can be quite the chaos bringer. I'm seeing some type of trolling on social media, if not trolling, you could just be quite aggressive with how you write on social media. I'm seeing a lot of hidden actions and secret accounts 😏

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Pile 3:

This pile has the energy of air signs. Your the type to overanalyze and over think everything. Even when it comes to things that you say, you may think about your words quite carefully before you say them. You may be an empath or bc you analyze ppl so intensely, you can pick up on others emotions/intentions and change the way you speak to fit others state of being (for an example: if a friend was in a depressive state and quite down and out, you would know better than to try to joke around, you would communicate with more kindness in your tone and try to be understanding). You can be quite humble and the humanitarian, wishing to do good for others/society (you have the energy of a therapist).

Your sarcastic and witty, quick with the comebacks and yk how to roast ppl (lol). You could have been a victim of bullying or just grew up in a tough environment and later you learned to stick up for yourself by using your words (insulting your bullies, roasting them etc...). Your words are very powerful, likely magical. Your the type to speak things into existence, so if I were you, I would be careful with what I say (which i think you do anyways, I'm just putting this out to warn you). I do see you can be quite vengeful and you have a mindset of "I'll get them before they get me". This makes you very defensive and hostile at times. Not just that but you have some jealousy issues.

You could be dealing with a break up and your heart is not open to love rn. I do think you do try to stay in a positive mindset but you could end up hiding your pain behind your laughs and smiles. Not really the type of person to deal with your emotional pain head on. You don't like to stay in one place for too long, preferring to move/travel often.

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Pile 4:

You are very much in your power and know your worth. You could be after an unconventional career that many have told you that it could never come to be but you do as you wish not as your told. I'm seeing that your quite an attractive and sexy person, very well shaped body as well (could be quite curvaceous or your obsessed with having curves) but either way you look good. You command a lot of respect and admiration from others. A lot of ppl wish to be you, look like you, or have you. Your very talented in some kind of musical sense, your likely gifted at singing (or your voice is quite enchanting). You express yourself well, a lot of ppl feel compelled by you and the way you speak (you could live in a country where your accent is different from most). You definitely have the power and the influence to get what you want, it's giving 7 rings by Ariana Grande, " I see it, I like, I want it, I got it" 💅.

I do think you could be too attached to your looks though, it's like you believe if you gain too much weight or you don't keep/get the curves you desire, Noone would find you attractive. I also see some idolizing of others bodies as well (keep off of social media as much as possible, its okay to post yourself but try not to scroll mindlessly. That fake social media shit gets to you and messes with your spirit). You may have been on your own since a young age, having to learn how to navigate the world and its evils/goods on your own. Your very independent due to this and also street smart.

Your in a stage of your life where you may be sleeping around a lot, playing seductive games, being flirtatious and plainly dating. Your likely viewing love as a game rn, and not taking anyone too serious. (If you are wanting to be more serious with love and attract a committed partner, refrain from sex when you date, your an enticing person so your partner will drive themself crazy trying to please and be with you). Most of you in this pile are just having/looking for fun though so that only pertains to a few of you.

Unfortunately, you may be the type to get into a lot of relationships in which your partner cheats or turns out to be pyscho. This may be the reason why I don't think you believe in 'true + unconditional love' (could be parental issues, childhood trauma as well). Your romantic relationships will be the thing in this lifetime that bring you the most headaches and loneliness

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Pile 5:

I got a vibe that this pile will attract a lot of fans of Niki instead of ppl who actually feels this pile will resonate to them, so those who picked this pile.

Turn around

Inhale

Exhale

Pick a pile

Welcome.

Okay. I feel like your quite young, probably in highschool or college. You've been through a lot in your life, in which at times you've felt abandoned or ostracized. But I think those experiences have made a stronger, more resilient you. You don't play a victim in life (even if you once were) and you don't encourage others in your life to hold onto victim hood as well. You know that you have to persevere through obstacles, not stay stuck in a pity party. You do have some codependency issues, you can be too clingy and hold onto others too tight. You fear others would leave you. You fear disappointing the ones you love. (I feel like you were "the nail that stuck out and was promptly hammered in"). So I think you may have anxiety about standing out too much or appearing too different from others. You have problems with understanding and respecting others boundaries (I just keep seeing an image of you holding onto a person, with strong grip, as they struggle to push you off). Instead of making ppl feel free and relaxed around you, you could make them feel uncomfortable.

Your a very book smart person. You have a fascination with unique things that most ppl would never think about and you come up with the most creative ideas. I think your more of a hoarder of knowledge and that you feel uncomfortable sharing your ideas with others, likely afraid they would laugh at you or say the idea is worthless. I feel like your not entirely moving forward with your life, your still haunted by your past. You could even recall voices of those who've insulted you or said very discouraging things to you and that can cause you to hesitate a lot in life.

I think this the ppl in this pile may be more sensitive and I want to make sure you don't feel hated or like I'm just another person confirming your own worst thoughts. I'm here to tell you to MOVE FORWARD in your life, don't let the haters win, don't hide yourself away. Prosper like the beautiful flower you are and always will be. 🌻

[leclerced]

I can see Charles dating someone just for the sake of dating. Like he doesn’t really see a future with this person but he also doesn’t tell that to her. Then there’s a question about their plans from someone and he just shrugs it off with sth about himself but he doesn’t include his girlfriend in his plans. She thinks about it but doesn’t do anything because maybe he misunderstood it besides they’ve been dating only for half a year or sth like that. After another few months he falls for her hard without even realising and then I can see a whole misunderstanding about his intentions because she thinks he’s just playing with her and it hits him he loves her. After that a hell lot of grovelling cause my boy is fighting for his life there

okay i saw this yesterday and started replying and tumblr app crashed. this is too relatable to me but i am charles. picturing like a high maintenance rich girlie who knows what she wants ok. i love this and just brain rotted 1.5k about it so im adding a read more. this is a mess sorryyy

i can see him dating someone for the convenience of it. it started off really casual, hookups every now and again when he was in town. then the question he always hates hearing, the dreaded what are we? comes and he uses the same recycled answer, what do you want us to be? and then runs with whatever they say. he likes her company, he'd consider her a good friend, but he understands why she wants more than just texts when he's in town asking if she's free.

six months after that conversation, near the end of the season, he gets asked about the plans for the upcoming break and the next season. next season is definitely the priority right now. i'd like to be fighting for the championship again next year. they ask about break again and if he has plans with his girlfriend, the one who has been attending every race as of late, and he says yeah i'm sure we'll find something to do... haven't made any plans yet. i know i'll be at the factory a lot, like i said, next season is the priority, so we'll have to work around my schedule. charles doesn't realize how selfish he sounds, next season is the priority, so we'll need to work around my schedule, how disinvested in his relationship he sounds. every other racer with a partner has been talking about romantic getaways to aspen or bali, and charles sounds like he's forgotten he's spending his first christmas with his girlfriend.

she realizes though, she hears the disinterest in his voice when he talks about not working, and the way he gets excited talking about the next season. she had been excited for the break and getting to spend time with him, she wanted to go spend christmas with his family or stay at his place and have their own private celebration. she has tricked herself into thinking they'd be laid up in bed for days on end, not her sitting around while he works. she kind of backs off, she'd planned on staying with him for the last few races but after hearing the way he waves off the idea of spending time with her, she decides she'll give him the space he so clearly desires to work.

when they're in vegas, two races left to go, carlos asks him what he's getting her for christmas, and it dawns on him he hasn't thought about it. he says he's still thinking, doesn't know how much money he can spend on her, he doesn't want to over do it. it sounds like a romantic answer, like he wants to buy her a diamond ring, but he's worried he'll scare her off. the reality is, he's bought presents for everyone else in his life and somehow forgotten her.

the realization that he loves her comes when he's out shopping for her gift and nothing is right. he's thinking he doesn't know what she likes because everything he looks at, he imagines her opening the wrapping paper and being disappointed. the chanel bags he got past girlfriends wouldn't do because she loves exclusivity. she loves going with him all over the world and shopping while he works, going to lavish antique stores and buying vintage clothes and jewelry for exuberant prices. she had contacts all over the world looking for antiques she has her eye on, vintage fashion or rare scandinavian furniture made by someone with a name he can't pronounce or spell. almost everything she owns is one of a kind, or vintage fashion that she paid hundreds or thousands of dollars for. he passively thinks that's why he loves her, then stumbles back over that thought and realizes that he knows her much better than he thought, and that's why none of the gifts were good enough.

he tries buying her clothes from a designer he likes, then remembers she wears archival pieces. he goes for blankets, all women love blankets, and remembers she only likes real wool blankets (she carries one with her when she travels, because hotel blankets will not do) and the store he's shopping at doesn't carry them. she likes a very specific set of body wash, shampoo, conditioner, and lotion that all smell like mint and eucalyptus, and a signature perfume. he doesn't know the name of either. he knows what they smell like, like it's the laundry detergent he grew up with. he could recognize it anywhere, but he doesn't fancy walking up and down aisles opening bottles to smell them when it's probably a hidden luxury brand that is only sold in a single store in a different country, knowing her.

he doesn't remember her favorite song or artist, so he doesn't even think about getting a signed album or anything like he's done for other people. he knows she has an affinity for chopin and loves it when charles plays piano for him, but he doesn't know what he could gift her based on that knowledge. he tries buying her art from a gallery, but none if it seems to suit her. he knows she loves basquiat and has a painting over her bed, professionally mounted so it can't fall off when he rocks the bed into the wall. the art he peruses doesn't compare. he wanders into numerous antique shops, hoping to find some old furniture from one of the designers she admires, but he doesn't know how to spot the rarities like she does. he'd probably buy her an ikea dining table thinking it's hans olsen.

the realization that nothing is good enough for her because he loves her is confusing for him. he realizes he hadn't put enough thought into past gifts. he knows his friends and family well enough that he bought them thoughtful gifts without thinking. he would just see things and know they would love them. but with his new girlfriend, he spent the entire relationship not realizing how much he cared about her. any past girlfriend he just gifted expensive purses, jewelry, shoes. he wants to get her something that shows how much he loves her, in the same way he was looking for his mother's gift all year until he finally something he knows she would cherish for the rest of her life.

he ends up buying a painting he thinks is perfect, until he presents the canvas to her. he wanted to have it hung and surprise her with it, but she'd probably want to pick where it hangs so he hides it in her apartment until christmas day, and kind of pretends not to have gotten her anything. there's a single present under their tree, one from her to him. she tries not to think about it, in the days leading up to christmas, when she sees the blank space under the tree and wonders if she shouldn't have gotten him anything. then christmas morning they're lounging on the couch and she tries to sound casual when she asks if he wants to open his present, and he says he wants to give her hers first. he disappears into one of the spare rooms and returns with a frame facing him. he tells her to close her eyes and then open them a moment later.

he immediately thinks he did something wrong because she cries, and he's oh so carefully setting the artwork down and rushing to her, kneeling in front of her and asking if she's okay as she cries into her hands. she's still thinking about how he brushed off their relationship and said the season was the priority, then he buys her the painting that got her into art? it wasn't anything special he thought, he just reached out to a private art dealer one night and asked if they had anything similar to pieces he knew she owned. it was coincidental that it was a piece she'd been looking for since she started collecting art. he had a name that people knew, and money that people wanted, so when he made an offer, they were happy to make a deal with the ferrari driver.

i don't wanna get angsty but she tells him how she feels, how he's been dismissive, says his words from months ago back to him and says she doesn't get why he would get her a gift like that if she isn't a priority. she tells him the gift is too much if all he wants is something casual, she can't accept it if it doesn't mean anything to him because it means everything to her. and charles is like, kind of relieved, because he thought she hated it and he can totally deal with her loving it too much. he quickly assures her it means as much to him, apologizes for not being enough for her, for not realizing how much he cared about her and for not showing it the way he should have. he was so caught up in winning that he didn't realize that he had someone to come home to that made him feel better than crossing the finish line.

[actuallyidontgiveadamn]

Really out of nowhere but I rewatched some of fma03 eps and im gonna rant

I'm just so done with smiling politely saying that fma03 and fmab are both great sorry i cant anymore. Just no

So if you in love with fmab im warning you it probably won't be a good read for you, so feel free to ignore this, block me or idk read this and give it a thought

0. I really dont understand the glorification of manga over anime adaptations. Like people who are making the adaptation are not artists and creators themselves? What makes mangaka better than others and absolutely indisputable, seriously?

1. 'Oh no long introduction and fillers' that actually allowed for Hughes' character development before his death. Seriously if i mention his death among my homies I'll get lots of faces clearly going through some ptsd level flashbacks, it was that impactful. I still need to take a breather when im rewatching before diving into that ep.

2. Nina. Yet again got more time to grow on us and thus aquired higher trauma inducing levels.

3. Ishval massacre and aftermath are WAY MORE VISIBLE in fma03. First of all Ishvalans are depicted as human beings, and not some background, and we get lots more on their sufferings, raids on camps, racism towards them, etc etc etc

4. Scar. Oh boi how do i even go about this. So without raging much about that beefy obviously wrong dude who got 'sense' bitten into him and started working with the oppressing gov in fmab, we have a wronged and tormented survivor of a genocide, who was justified in his vengeance and rage, was depicted as an attractive person of color despite his antagonistic role and was seriously almost cheered on in his actions by the narrartive. His interactions with his people and his moral dilemmas made his character possibly the deepest and most thought out one in the series.

5. The Rockbell doctors being killed by their own government. That's a waaaaay more interesting and damning detail on our government affiliated protagonists than just dumping their murder on a delirious patient.

6. Homunculi had their own will and desires and a way more developed story arc that had a huge impact on protagonists' morals. Being created by the humans who were desperate to bring back their loved ones and both parties are getting tormented by it?? Characters strongly driven by their own goals and staggered by their relations to their creators vs some indifferent goons in fmab. Just compare Sloths and their impact on the stories and protags.

7. Final conflict being a fight with god and his intricate plans in fmab, versus final battle vs a selfish pretty much usual person who had thrown everyone under the bus in pursuit of immortality. Adds so much more desperation flavor. Suddenly your hero journey doesn't end in epic battle for the sake of the mankind, as you would like it to be. It's just to oppose one awful person with too much power and zero care about anyone else. That's raw and that's way more plausible and relatable in our mundane lives.

8. Overall darker tone and themes of the fma03.

9. MUSIC. I dont remember a single track from fmab, but i went really out of my way in my teenage years to find internet access and pirate fma soundtrack and cry listening to it

10. ART. Sorry but don't tell me fmabs flat colors are anything to 03's soft tones and lighting

So yeah sorry, but I'll take the dark and gritty tragedy over just another shounen with doubtful messages each and every time

[femsolid]

Random question. Is it okay to only do sex acts that YOU are excited about for your own sake?

I've had a discussion with a friend who hates doing blowjobs but does them for her boyfriend because she loves to make him happy and that makes it worth it. Basically the idea is that in a relationship you can't just do things you desire and it's like washing the dishes or taking out trash - you do it because you love them and want to make them feel good, even if you don't enjoy the process on your own. And honestly that seems like a nightmare for me.

I wouldn't want my partner to go down on me without being super enthusiastic about it for her own pleasure and arousal. Like finding it hot and exciting and wanting to do it for reasons BEYOND my happiness and fulfillment. I want to be desired, not served. For me, doing sex acts you don't enjoy or even feel neutral about isn't something your partner should ever be okay with. I get that some people are chill about it, but that doesn't change the motivation and feeling behind the act. And i really wouldn't want anything other than excitement, joy, desire and mutual pleasure every step of the way. This is also why i don't think you should have sex when you're not in the mood as a favor.

So, i don't do anything that i don't want to, unless it's out of my own desire - not desire to just make someone happy, but my desire for them and their body. Sex for the sake of pleasuring the partner and gaining emotional happiness from it, but no excitement and arousal and finding it hot during...yeah, that's really not acceptable in my book. I was called selfish for it a lot of times, and my friend can't understand why i can't learn to appreciate the gift of sexual favor when someone is not into it (she called it beautiful - doing it because you love them even if you're not excited and enthusiastic about it at all).

I don't think im wrong but i suddenly feel like i'm the only person who can't accept sex without complete mutual pleasure, passion and excitement. Again, not just for the sake of happiness of a partner, but our own sexual desire for them and finding what we do hot and arousing. Am i being too uptight about it?

Funny how it's always women who are required to have their boundaries and comfort and preferences dismissed isn't it? And it's always women who brag about doing sexual things they hate but do anyways out of "love". They repeat it as if to convince themselves. I wonder who might benefit from this! Hmm! What a mystery! Marital rape is so very common precisely because of this rape culture saying women have to put up with sexual acts they don't appreciate just because "a woman must please her man" and "a man has needs". Look at your friends describing sex like an unwanted chore... that's every raped wive's chorus. And how many men get off on making women do things they don't enjoy... how do we call that?

It's heterosexual women trying to make sense of the shit men put them through I'm afraid. Don't doubt yourself.

[transgressivegirlification]

sorta. learning how to separate my gender from how other people perceive and treat me. that and separating my gender identity from gender performance and the idea that i have to DO anything or have any specific trait to be a woman

i dunno. if gender describes your relationship to society and your relationship to your body and sex characteristics, then there is an expectation to perform specific roles based on your relationship to your body, which is pretty wierd and we could probably do without that. so, i guess in that sense, im a gender abolitionist

i don’t consider myself a woman because i was assigned female at birth, i consider myself a woman because it describes my relationship to my body. i don’t consider my (de)transition a return because i don’t remember what it was like to live as someone who was perceived as a girl and i’ve never been perceived as a woman, just a feminine trans person (and only online, offline i’m treated as an autistic cis man) so i’m having to figure out what my womanhood means to me for the first time instead of having it just given to me or something i had at some nebulous ~before~

but it’s. i don’t think being a woman means you have to be feminine in any meaning of the word. i don’t think i have to be seen as a woman to be one. i don’t even think i have to dislike masculine terms being used for me. i also don’t think that not conforming to the expected presentations of my gender makes me nonbinary. (nb people are chill i am just tired of being degendered in trans* spaces and having people making a big deal over my gender/pronouns because i don’t “look like” my gender)

i’m just a woman with a deep voice and body hair and broad shoulders and facial hair and an adam’s apple and a strong brow. i’m just a woman that wears clothing made for men and who wears binders instead of bras most of the time. i’m just a woman who wears makeup only once or twice a year and who doesn’t do anything centered around anti-aging. none of that makes me less of a woman, it just makes me less feminine which is fine

femininity is nice but a lot of it is either based on making women more consumable to men or just isn’t ideal for a construction worker. like. i love lolita fashion but it is not remotely osha approved. i can barely get away with tying my jacket around my waist lmafo

and i mean. i like men. 90% of my coworkers are men and i generally fuck with them. i’m also promised to a man who is my priority in life.

but at the same time, i’m not going to go out of my way to be appealing to men or even think about it in my day to day life because i’m a person who enjoys men, not a perfume ad. yeah i dress up for dates and enjoy when my promised finds me attractive but being desirable isn’t the same as being consumable. when i perform femininity for my promised, he enjoys the show but sees me as an actor instead of a character if that makes sense?

i dunno. i love being feminine in over the top ways that make me feel powerful and confident but it’s… a lot to do outside of the context of conventions (shout out to conventions for giving me a way to explore new presentations in public without being afraid of getting hate crimed fr)

i guess for me it feels wierd to be a woman almost exclusively attracted to men because so much of how people talk about wlm is centered around the man’s attraction to the woman or the woman making herself attractive to the man when i center myself in my attraction to men. i generally don’t think about making myself attractive to a man i’m not actively going on a date with, i think about what i want to do to him and what he could do for me. yeah it’s a little selfish but nobody’s complained yet B;)

tl;dr: i’m still a woman when i fulfill male stereotypes. femininity as a way to feel powerful, pretty, and/or desirable is nice. femininity as a set of rules pushed on women for the purpose of centering men’s consumption and dehumanization of women in their expression of feminine womanhood is shitty

[zzencat]

Hiiiii 🙆‍♀️ I’m a new follower here! I just found your account and I was so excited!! You honestly look so kind and lovely 🌸 if its okay with you, I’d like to join the free readings :D my inital is HS, I’m a scorpio sun ♏️ my questions are:

1. What’s the best way for me to manifest? (Like what manifestation technique that works best for me?) 🪄

2. How will Haechan (nct) will feel if he ever met me in real life 🤒

3. How will Mark (nct) will feel if he ever met me in real life? ⭐️

Thank you so much for opening this reading <3 I really appreciate you and I love both you and your account 🙆‍♀️

Have a lovely day/night 💕

hello hs!!! welcome to…well, your answers hahaha but also such an interesting ass question i haven’t gotten an ask like this but im excited to get into it!! take these as things you could also work on. (i can’t even choose an nct bias anymore haha i love haechan with my whole arm tho)

best way to manifest:

ok so you’re giving off a lot of air energy and detachment. you have a lot of ideas and they’re constantly going in and out, just as words are coming in and out. there’s a need for you to be alone and hold less judgment on others and more on yourself. i would also suggest you find a quiet place too so that you don’t get too scatterbrained and distracted. there’s a level of paranoia and being untrusting. idk if you’re the untrusting one or you’re the one to be untrusted, but that’s something that needs to be figured out. also there’s too strong of a focus on superficial things like looks, status, or how one is perceived in public, but it’s all surface level and there needs to be less obsession with that. if you could be more open and refrain from making too many prejudgments on others and on yourself, that’d be helpful. be more openminded and things will come towards you more naturally. be more serious with what you want and take action towards it.

overall/extras:

- be less gossipy and pay more attention to yourself

- should probably clear your space more often

- work on inner imbalances and open mindedness, more acceptance

how haechan would feel if he met you:

phewww…so haechan doesn’t have too good of a view…if it were a simple fansign thing, sure yk just show up and talk a bit, but friends? nah. he thinks you need to work on being less self-absorbed, paying attention to other people’s qualities and more on your own since there’s a lack of achievement. he doesn’t think you’re in a role where you’re doing something special or eye-catching, just a normal person. he probably thinks you don’t make as much money. he thinks that you probably indulge in more selfish desires than working. he sees you as someone who keeps secrets or is someone sus asl. conceited or dishonest and plays unfair. ngl his cards aren’t looking too bright but it’s ok hahaha

how mark would feel if he met you:

mark thinks you procrastinate too much or you lack the will to go on. again, a lot of scatterbrained energy. you’re also defensive or have your guard up easily. he thinks that you think whatever you think and you’re stubborn with it. you’ve got your own values and ways to live life. he’s more neutral and understanding about the meeting with you than haechan is. he thinks you face a lot of insecurities and you have a tendency to overindulge or you lack self control. you also have missed opportunities and poor planning, but dismissive about it like “yeah but whatever!!” kind of mindset.

thanks a ton for your kind words buddy and for sending a fun question!! 🤣👊👊 hope you stay hydrated!!

[middleschoolfursona]

literal tears are running down my face as i scroll thru your blog. on it it it feels like im back home.

i just wanna go back man. i just wanna be a kid running around on feralheart and drawing my ocs again and watching silly movies with my friends. it feels like im living a lie every single day of my life since then.

it hurts and fills me with so much shame to say that i feel like a kid, like i stopped mentally aging in like 2012, 2014 at the latest. the dysphoria is strangling. i dont want to describe it but yeah it sucks so bad.

i cant tell anyone in my life this in detail. cus i can feel the callouts. the sneers. the performative disgust. the gleeful hatred. everyone turning on me and making me into a joke. but this experience is so viscerally terrible and real and i cant just get over it and i cant choose to get better. i hate it.

youre the first person ive ever seen who seemed like theyd actually understand and its just overwhelming bcus it felt like i was completely alone. so i just wanted to say thanks for the catharsis of showing me im not beyond understanding. but im sorry if this is all selfish or upsetting. the last thing i wanna do is hurt or upset anyone, so feel free to ignore and delete.

thank you for ur blog and i hope you have a great day/week/month/year/life/forever <3

anon, im so so sorry i didnt answer this one sooner. i kept thinking, "when i get on desktop" but i never ended up back on desktop until i got this new monitor (win!)

i totally feel you, im glad i can bring you (though maybe bittersweet) comfort.

dysphoria and even feelings of 'transness' in places of identity other than gender and sex absolutely exist and are valid, and its really too bad its so stigmatized. you have my <3 and you have my thoughts. its tough, and theres more of us than youd think, hopefully, its an amount that comforts you... and i hope, you can find people who relate to you and you can share trust with and happy memories.

"performative disgust' is a topic i bring up a lot in this kinda discoursing. if i may, its pretty western too.. the need to be combative causes a strange sort of lash-out-culture, where people arent even neccisarily uninformed, its a lack of desire to be informed at all, and instead perform hatred for the acknowledgement of their peers. id know. it was me once. terrible and toxic situation, but its eaten the internet in many spaces....

its tough feeling trapped, unable to move forwards and feeling like youre "wrong". being disabled and growing up disabled makes those kinds of remarks and implications said by some people extra painful to me. and i know lots of us who feel dysphoria surrounding our facets of the self, both gender or non-gender, are neurodivergant as well, and as someone who was in special education, and then my school dropped me by force because i just "wouldnt" do my math, i know how painful it can feel both inside, but then to come forward and have people act like "just move forward" "just understand" "well you can never go back so just be here instead"... its painful.

i hope that between the time you sent this and now, youvbe found someone to be open to... if not, you can send me your discord off anon (wont pub) and we can chat there if you need it... youre certainly not alone anon, just the haters want you to feel that way. dont give in. do your best!

[m0e-ru]

👀👀 also i just want to say thank you! i really got into P4 this year and finding your work only amplified my love for it. mim became like my 2nd favorite character all because of you also the stage play it really lives in my head rent free. i love your art and writings, your work has turned a special interest into an even more special one.

hi yeah I read this morning I was tearing up a bit sorrry for being an emotional baby I dont get love letters often maybe thats why im full of love . in exchange. thank yo thankyou for all the nice words it means a lot. here’s A LOT in return. with commentary because it um. was too much for the tags

okay this one was one of the drafts for my 3/20 art this year there was like. four drafts till i settled on this one then went SIKE 🏌️🏌️🏌️ you're doing the dual type ones ( the magazine ones i ended up posting )

MIDNIGHT TV STATION REAL !??? anyway here’s just shadow yukiko and iznmi interaction it’s not finished since there’s no backgrounds yet I swear there are. I did this alll the way back in feb I think and just kept polishing it bit by bit throuhgout the year and it’s STILL not done yet. the horrors came in I couldnt work on bigger pieces anymore since they wouldnt even get FINISHED anyway 💥💥💥 there’s also a s.kanji one but those are a bunch of blobs and text in shorthand mim is such a jokester asking questions n shit to twist people’s heads but yukiko’s just so sweet she really means what she says yknow like this is supposed to be the start of mim remembering what humanity is besides the mindless and selfish desires that technically gave birth to them after tearing them apart from the whole they once were. the LAST few TV stations these women were asking shit like ohhh can we hang a noose here ohhhhhhhh I want it to smell like liquor and rust and this girl was like can I have a castle !!!! can I wear a big pink frilly dress and hold a mic to push my human self’s buttons I think it could work

yeah these are my plans for the m.inaba arc for gsaslau and FUCK IM SO MAD I WAS WRITING ON THE TUMBLR EDITOR BUT IT FUCKED UP THE FORMATTING AND A WHOLE CHUNK OF TEXT IS GONE sorry this post is gonna be a lot longer than it should be okay ! gsaslau Magatsu Inaba arc. Adachi’s besties with the attendant but Mim decides they’re done with the attendant facade and erases everyone’s memories of the guy. They did a bad job at it though so Adachi’s stuck with the awareness that he has a hole in his life that could’ve been avoided if someone did a better job at cleaning up everything that reminds him of memories he’s going insane over thinking they exist when they DON’T to literally everyone else. He makes a deal with the fog to be god’s prohpet and usher in the New World as its Fool so it gives him the answer to whether or not his memories are real and worth bringing back a guy he thinks is dead. Souji tries to stop him and as much as Adachi’s trying to hide his true intentions under the guise he’s justifying himself as a bad guy this whole time, he kinda snaps under pressure that a bunch of kids are being able to stop him despite the help of a god and a world he can manipulate. Mim’s plan was to wait for his Shadow to take over so his body’s properties would be enough for him to become a vessel to manifest Ame-no-Sagiri. But THAT doesn’t happen so they did plan B: go force the power of Persona and wear it like a costume enough to hide their face to stop further awakening more memories that could throw the whole deal off. Souji recognizes that it isn’t the power of Persona so he demands god to stop using their powers through a human just to hide from something, it’s putting the guy in enough pain already. Mim agrees to leave and Adachi’s Shadow finally takes over anddd and yeah I could make a separate post about my writing I wish I had more time and energy for things

okay this one looks simple it’s likeee a manga that was supposed to be a companion piece to some writing that also didn’t get finished. so. I could share that but they’re non proofread discord messages but I promise the draft is there the context is that they’re in Okina and they try out the gacha machines. Mim’s genuinely having fun but they pull a teru teru bozu which um. remind them they’re supposed to dutiful god. like they look like a teru teru bozu. and that they’re supposed to treat this as an experiment to see humans’ true desires so they just shove it to Adachi who harmlessly relates it to them because it honestly looks stupid annd the whole tension dissipates.

here's also a bit of writing alll the way back in feb. i guess the context would be episode 13 and 14 where nanako leaves her loveline umbrella with the fox except this time she doesnt get wet since she had a pit stop at the gas station yaayy :mimyay:

The little girl left her umbrella by the torii with the fox as a gesture of her kind heart. Then she hugged the plastic bag in her arms and began to run straight home.

The rain was pouring hard! The summer wasn't as kind as her, nor would the crashing showers that would come after days of blazing heat.

Every step she took quickly became squickly and soggy as her shoes and socks were already soaked through. Her pigtails were getting heavy and her bangs almost covered her eyes. Just then, she heard a voice in the rain. But before she could look, she slipped forward.

"Ah!" Nanako gasped as she let go of the bag and braced for impact, but heard another "ah-h!" as she was quickly hoisted up with an arm wrapped around her chest, picking her up and felt another arm underneath support her. Her chin now on broad red shoulders that smelled faintly of car exhaust and gas amidst the rain.

The splashing of shoes on the wet pavement along with the crinkling sounds of a plastic bag was heard. Nanako was more worried of whose perfectly dry clothes she drenched with her sopping wet ones.

"You okay, little kiddo?" a familiar voice asked as she was gently set down on dry concrete away from the rain.

"I'm okay," she said, wiping her bangs and looking straight at the stranger in front of her.

It was Moel's gas station attendant, the one Souji works with. "Ah, you're big bro's big b--" she quickly shook her head, "I-I mean, big bro's senpai."

"Heh," the crouched man laughed weakly, it even seemed like he forced that smirk. "I work here too, y'know? Little customer."

"Oh, I'm sorry. And thank you, mister attendant."

"You're welcome, and don't worry about it. 'S not like I'm too mad about it."

An awkward air accompanied the scents of lingering exhaust from the last car and the petrichor from the rain. Although Nanako didn't feel any of this, just to say. It's always been like this with big bro’s senpai, at least how it's been with just Nanako herself. Like right now.

The man continued to crouch and adjust his hat. "Well, you're a silly girl. Why's someone with flowers all over her papers running around in the rain?"

Dunno how long, but I hope you haven't been running around like this for too long. I know you live nearby but your big bro's gonna have to take care of you if you get sick!--I mean, he'll always take care of you. He's a good kid.

If you were out long, I'm impressed how much of this you kept dry! …Just hoped you could've done the same for yourself, hehe.

Ah, but knowledge's different than wisdom, or whatever mister detective said. Hm, he even said I had neither! Maybe that's why I didn't know?

Uh…well….the fox by the shrine…. it was getting wet, so I…

Hm…

Heh, 'can see how you and that kiddo really are alike, little kiddo.

and SURPRISE !!! i found this lying around i thoughtt id add it here because youre so nice and it's so lovely to see you in my notifs all the time THIS IS A JUMPSCARE FOR EVERYONE ELSE sorrryyyy sorry

[yourwolfmuzzle]

YEAH I WAS LIKE i will not speak about this BUT I KINDA STILL IN THIS how you can ignore so much stuff that you can put there. As always, i rewatch the episode because i never trust myself with “only one watch” even with very problematic or “not that fun to watch” media. As always - my writing post like this is messy.

TW suicide mention, i will talk about Ruby again A LOT.

1. - This whole scene with Jaune is extremely strange and Weiss telling the stuff that Rudy need to hear kinda? Its a Rudy who did big mistake and fall pretty deep. But no, Weiss telling that “even the best huntsman in the history...they all lost. But they still incredible brave. And good.” (remember this part, i will mention later) after Jaune told that “i was being selfish because i wanned to rush of rescuing someone...and i got that there”? Im still not sure what this scene was truing to tell us outside of pushing Jaune into accepting that yes, those who live in this world need to ascending to progress and be better (we will skip this whole “ascending is have to much death parallels more that rebirth maybe” and will just say that okay this is how this world work and ascending is just a part for one, who is from Ever After. Also remember this part, i will talk about this later.) and that yes viewers you got this right - Jaune was so worry about losing more people and have this hard desire for rescuing someone that he make paper start trying to self harm and to be suicidal (”..breaking from our physical forms so that the winds will care us back to the tree”). Do what ever you want with this information.

2.- This is kinda “they have to do this for plot” but...for getting closer to the tree you have to accept that ascending is a part of this world. This is the rule for every living creature in this world, who was made for this world, and the only exception is a Jabberwalker, who can destroy you. So...why WBY didnt get to the tree/door after episode 7? They told to Jaune that ascending is what paper pleaser want and Jaune need to give them what they want. They ALREADY accept that this is important for this world. This world want really badly to Jaune also getting with WBY to the door?

3.- If acceptance is what the tree want and we all on this whole “ascending is good thing” why tree just...not kick Yang after she start to tear out leaves from Ruby's statue? I know its kinda nitpicking but~

4.- We having a moment when Yang finally start to be upset that hey...this is something wrong with Rudy and we have to do something with it. First of all - why not put something like this at the start of this episode? You still can have your “omg lets hug Jaune)))))” but at least at the start of the episode we will have SOMETHING that will not have this vibe that they do not care at all and only after they got there they like “oh wait RUBY”. Second - i really dont like that r/wby cant have “a moment”. When they like...have a moment when they like “hey we fuck up pretty badly fuck what we have to do with it???”. After Yang tell that “what if she will not be Ruby anymore when she come back out” and Blake just...drop this “maybe its not for us to decide”. And before that Weiss was like “We done everything what we can. Now its up to Rudy...what ever happens next we have to welcome that”. SOOOO HM I HAVE A NUMBER OF THE PROBLEMS.

Ever After rules somehow apply to creatures from not this world and characters is like think that its will absolutely work with Ruby. They sure for 100% that she will come back and not just stay in tree statue. That she will come back with changes and they have to accept this because its her chose, which is...

Was not her decision. She did this not because she was thinking that “i fulfill my goal, like paper pleaser, now i have to find the way for getting better”. She did this not because “if i will do this i will got superpowers”. She did this because she was so tired to be herself and want to just make, what Roman illusion told her - reset that will make world better, because she will not be in this world anymore. She did this do destroy herself and even Neo, who also didnt know how this whole thing will work, and was thinking that Ruby kill herself and now she dont know what to do.

ALSO ABOUT NEO. Neo torture her to make this decision. Its not like Alyx, who “after talking to the tree (WITHOUT DRINKING ANY TEA OR EATING THE LEAF FROM THE TREE, MIND YOU) she decide to fix everything what she broken in the Ever After” DID decide to be better. Its not like Paper Pleasers who decide that “they have to ascend because we want to progress”. No, Neo beat her up with her illusions of people, who important to Ruby one way and another until she was covered in bruises and wounds, and Neo kill Little to MAKE Ruby to decide drink tea that will make her “not to be in this world anymore”.

With all this “its Ruby decision and not someone.” that on paper sound like a nice message, with this contect of what was with Ruby...this is...not cool at all. Its sound like...if person decide to do something, that will destroy them or will change them forever, its not...something that have to be just “its just her decision”. I dont think that...its a good message??? That if you do something with yourself that hardcore people will just...okay with this and will be like “oh yeah its was just her decision we have to just be welcoming with what she did and what will happens next with her”???   And when you will do something with yourself - everybody will almost fully chill about this and be like “yeah this her decision”?????? And people who worry about you need to just chill out like immediately because “its her decision, this is what it is”?????????? Just in case for anyone - people who is depress and suicidal do not “choose” to be depress and have suicidal thoughts. This is not “Ruby decide to do something that will change her one way and another and this is HER decision”. This is was about “Ruby was depress, got torture into something, that she was thinking will “make world better without her” and got into something, that will do something with her.”

Also no Weiss. This is was not enough. For a whole volume WBY was trying to ask Ruby if she okay, but never was trying to push this question forward. Its was just “hey are you okay” with no progress forward, even know they can see that Ruby IS not okay. Not when they was having a time to talk, not when they get free time to talk after busy time they did not push anything. Its fine give people some time to think and be alone, but if this is your only way to deal with someone problem especially when the situation is atypical and it's not just “this is normal for her to behave like this, give her some time, its always help”. I saw people saying that “hey they didnt have time to talk about this forward/WBY didnt saw any problems”. But they DID have time to talk with her? There was moments when you can give us more moments, when characters was pushing question “are you okay” forward or give us a moments when they at least let Ruby know they are still with her and support her. We can still have Ruby break and fall, but at least we will believe more that yes, they are was trying to do something or let Ruby know that “hey we your team and we always with you!” but they were always distracted by something serious. Because now its sound like another “We did mistake, it is what it is” because i have a hard time to believe that they will change interaction with Ruby after all this or try to apologies to not be with her, when she was in need of them the most in the final episode.

I can try to imaging that writers was writing that “no matter what will Ruby do, WBY will always support her in her journey.” but...because how episode 8 end and what did Ruby with herself, that was not really “her doing this” but “Neo push her to do this”, this is not exactly work.

(I going to rant but - i just cant understand how from what they saw in the mansion they just quickly decide that if she rn in the tree that mean she will change just like paper pleasers. Like...you SURE about this? You sure she will be back? You sure she will be change at all? How hard she will change? Is she will remember something? What about her wounds after a “fight” with Neo? What if Neo did something before that? What can we do to prevent that? Its just...they so simple accepted the fact that Ruby in the tree, this tea just send her to the tree and its will work exactly the same on her. Also nobody was even thinking about Little. They body was just right with Ruby and nobody even question if they alright or if they didnt saw they body, they didnt ask “OH WAIT, WHAT ABOUT LITTLE?”. Just because they didnt help you to much you don't even have to think about them, Little the last one who was with Ruby.)

5. - Can i just ask small thing - is this whole “this is simplistic understanding or the tree”. Is this another “we self aware and you think too little about our ideas” like what they was having with Curios Cat when they start to speak about some plotpoints in R/WBY story? Or i read too much there? Its probably just me.

6. - I mostly like how Ruby and Blacksmith scenes. Some moment in they dialogs sound nice, i already told about “not enough” part. And in general stuff what Ruby talking about is stuff, that you can find relatable for one part and another. Not be enough, trying to hard to be something, that you dont have to be. You dont have to be all those things that you most likely idealized or wrote impossible plans for yourself which you cannot reach so immediately without stumbling or so impossible for everyone. You dont have to be perfect. This is nice message and the nice story for character to have. People love stories like this and i also love stuff like this. But...it not working fully, when you start think about this and not just “she just like me!”. This cant be just simple story about Ruby be unperfect? We have so many moments when Ruby did mistakes or tried to get what she wants without listening to anyone. Yes she IS the youngest in the team, yes her whole backstory and experience have all right to her to tell us that “i try so hard but im just tired of everything”. But this story dont want tell us a story about going through mistakes. Because she and her team and partly Jaune did mistake in Atlas. But “all huntsman have a moment when they fall, but that doesn't mean they're bad.” Writers, you CAN have both. You can tell us a story about Ruby “stopping believe that she needs to be perfect and if she did mistake to stop and never try again” AND story about “through trauma and dealing with the mistakes she made”. You can have both cakes and eat them both (c). There is a chance that maybe, JUST MAYBE this topic will be brought up, but the next episode will be 20+ minutes long (from what Eddy hinted to us), we need to deal with NekoNeo and Jaune fall at the end of the episode and maybe see Vacuo.

7. - I dont...have specific opinion about Summer scenes and the fact that yes, Alyx was not great person, but got to talk with tree (WITHOUT EVEN DO SOMETHING WITH HERSE-) and then got killed by Curios Cat. Her brother got out without her sister and probably write a story about her in mostly positive way. That all, this part just exists. Its just simple there. Also Neo cant go back to Remrant because “she dont have purpose anymore in that world”. Sooo...Neo dont want to do anything with Cinder anymore? Like, at all? She in this world because Cinder betrayal. Yeah she got opportunity to make Ruby suffer and dance with Roman illusion, but...did she really dont want to do anything with Cinder? After all work she done for her and after all what Cinder shittalk about her and did to her? Really? Like at all? She just chill about that? Also Yang punch corrupted copies of Ruby pretty fast, like almost no fear. And Weiss make Jaune fall sooo he probably dead and also in the tree?

So what we have? 

We have confirmation that yes, this whole tea story? Suicide - IS solution for you problems because you will have a chance to be who what ever you want. People who important to you? They will chill about this because this is YOUR DECISION. No matter how this story about Ruby “ascension” will end - we have episodes 8 and 9 that portrait this as a positive suicide with broken some rules about how portrait suicide in media. No matter is this was accidentally and nobody in the team did not saw this as a suicide, but as a “growing up”, or they SAW this as a suicide and STILL decide that its will be great to show this as a one of the epic ways to develop Ruby story. This is not the first time when they choose the “cool” way to show something or tell the story in the ways that not that simple and you cant just write without nuance. Those parts is not simple and cool, no matter if you portrait this as a literally or metaphorically. It was repeated many times that they need specialists in the team who will monitor how this or that difficult topic is shown in the series. Or study these topics before writing about them if you dont want to pay for extras in writing room.

Easy solution for heavy parts. WBY dont have to react too much about Ruby because they already full on think that “hey she will return we will just wait and see what ever will happens to her because its her decision” + they have to help Jaune after he see paper pleaser. RWBY do not need to work with the trauma or mistake that they done. They already decide that “hey everybody do mistakes, there is no perfect huntsman! So we dont have to be perfect!”. “This story is simplify too much” character told us about Ever After story and then we got that “Alyx is evil but not really after talking with the tree and then she got killed by Cat”. I love that idea on paper that Cat repeat what “they creator” done to them - betrays those who try to leave them and repeat mistakes, but im not sure its something that was done on purpose? Anyway i got offtopic.

Its really hard to like this episode at all especially if you have a problem with how they're trying to write Ruby's story. You can be like me who is like “oh i love soundtrack in there and how this scenes with Rudy sound” but them those gigantic moments like a lack of\too much chill reaction from WBY and even if Yang got to react later - WB shut her up pretty fast with “this is not for us to decide” and “we have to welcome her with what ever will happens to her”.

Another messy post. I probably forget something, mess out something or just dont want to even talk about something because i...dont even know what was that or some people already tell better what problem is there (I think especially with the parts about Jaune and Weiss, i just have zero interest in shipping nuance as long as it's not an explicit relationship like Ren and Nora or Yang and Blake.). But this episode...trigger to much stuff in my brain.

[loveregrown]

hi perce...!!!!!! i saw ur tsumu and hajime post from earlier and i was gonna reply with some hajime thoughts but i forgot so now im sending an ask abt it bc it made me think!!!!! hajime is portrayed as a selfless character, but ive always thought he was never meant to be written that way. the more u find out about him, the more u realize his acts of selflessness come from an inherent "selfishness" to feel loved and secure. he's always felt he had to be the one to take care of others because of his younger siblings, and it's brought up at a lot of points of how much extra work he takes on for the sake of providing for his family. he's always trying to make others feel secure, it's like part of his nature at this point, and to his own detriment. i think particularly when he met tomoya, his motivations changed. rather then it feeling like a duty just because he was hajime, it became a version of security for him. by the time he enters es, he wants to love others in order to feel loved, he thrives off of it. this is inherently "selfish", and i feel like people gloss over that aspect of hajime a lot. he's possessive and insecure in his relationships, but because part of his version of security is being selfless and loving, he doesnt express it in the "usual way" people might think. but even then there's a LOT of scenes where he gets mad over tomoya in some way in general that's a big theme of ra*bits, "love". every member of ra*bits i would say is infatuated with a certain idea of what love means, and part of their arc is learning that love is different and always changing. im not confident enough to say what this might mean for tsumugi since idk him very well but yeah... hajime still makes me a little crazy despite me not talking abt enstars too much anymore hehe.

HAJIME'S "SELFISHNESS" THAT COMES FROM HIS DESIRE TO BE LOVED AND HIS POSSESSIVE NATURE AND HIS INSECURITIES IS SOMETHING THAT I LOVE TO THINK ABOUT..! He displays these traits so fascinatingly too I was thinking about it earlier and It's sad to see these aspects of him be neglected, as are many aspects of the members of ra*bits, even Nito's post-valkyrie characterization tends to be blindsided by some fans I've noticed.. when I saw you like my post I wondered what Lena's thoughts were. A lot of Tsumugi's own selflessness comes from a desire like this, an inherent need to be needed, not just general love which he lacks and hardly understands yet craves, but also how he thrives off of the feeling of giving himself up to someone, even currently he sees his relationship with Natsume as a "contract". I wouldn't call him selfish, but humans are prone to being selfish in spite of it not being inherent... but well it's what leads to him doing fucked up things for the sake of others (eichi namely) or simply what he sees as the greater good so long as he will be loved in the process because of his skewed view of it- the fact during the war he knew he was being manipulated but let himself be manipulated anyway.

I'm not exactly sure how to connect these things because the way they go about it is a little different but... I think they can be compared and I just want Tsumugi & Hajime to drink tea together and read books and maybe cuddle and that's okay & their relationship really matters to me especially how Hajime is taking care of the school library now ＞﹏＜ their blue hair and pronouns, similar behaviours, their shared anxieties and similar upbringings as well as their hardworking nature, it's interesting to see... I think it can be made evil bringing Eichi into the equation but I won't speak of that. In a sense the fact Tsumugi works hard isn't only to be loved but because if he doesn't feel useful he doesn't feel he should be alive at all which is a little darker than just the want to be loved and feel loved through loving, the fact he thinks if he can't be anything meaningful he might as well be a tool, or a stool... but alas. They both desire a sense of security from being valued by those around them which I think is something that most seek but it's especially strong in them is the thing. People don't usually act or think the way that Hajime & Tsumugi do lol. Especially not to the point they want the people around them to be fine to their own detriment the way they do.

I also think about how Hajime is an older brother which is perhaps a trait that wouldn't be expected from a cute young looking boy, who said he loved being looked after as a little brother by those around him like Nito yet is so good at taking care of others, while Tsumugi is a younger brother who isn't loved by his older brother but wants to be a caretaker to those around him and had a weird complex about his age in highschool... and his lack of relationship with him affects the way he interacts with people like the Sakuma brothers so it's pretty interesting to see. Family relationships are important when it comes to characters I think so it's just a little 😵 perhaps this is nothing to you but it means a lot to me in the Tsumugi realm so... ah...

[outofcontexturi]

08:17am

If there’s anything I should aspire for it’s to give back to my community. Even though I’ve felt like an anomaly in it. the category put on me would be labelled “other” or “alternative” and yeah nowadays I wanna be different from these niggas. It’s okay to be that. It’s okay to do things differently. And listen man, I’m sure at the core of us all we’re a lot more similar than we are different but the ecosystem we find ourselves in doesn’t care about that. We’re products of broken homes and broken communities so I get it man. We need to survive. And we’re living in a world that’s take or be taken. im celebrating my own journey for once. 14 year old me would be proud of me. I’ll know I’ve “made it” when I can comfortably give back to my community. Feeding them. Housing them. I think for the longest time I wanted my success to be a selfish endeavour. I wanted to reap all my benefits alone. Because for a long time I felt like the excluded one. The odd one. The one that stood out from the rest but was no celebrated. I didn’t understand why I was subject to ridicule or unsolicited opinions. I mean what good is it to make all this wealth and hoard it. We deserve life. I don’t think it’s a problem to have desires but I think it’s a problem to make desires your god or to consciously or subconsciously become a slave to them. maybe we are in the matrix. this system was never really designed for us to win but fortune favours those that try and history makes revolutionaries out of others. When it’s all said and done I just hope the pride I’ve had for myself can be shared amongst the community. 08:56am. Sign out time.

[littleferal]

Sitting here thinking of Frankie spilled out across crisp white sheets like a sunset, all tanned skin and loose-limbed and completely relaxed. I just want to gather him up in my arms and kiss him for as long as he’ll let me.

oh my dear @softanon i looked at this ask so many times and im so in love with it 🥺 let the boys be soft, let them be loved and doted on as well!! 💛💛💛

1.6k of fluff below the cut, i hope it was worth the wait :")

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

You find Frankie sprawled out face-down across the bed, the clean and crisp bed sheets beneath him barely rumpled. It’s as if he simply lay down and fell straight asleep. He hasn’t even bothered to get dressed again properly after his shower, the black boxer shorts the only item of clothing on him, contrasting beautifully with his tanned skin and the white sheets. You find yourself feeling thankful there isn’t a clear view into your bedroom, because that would mean closing the curtains and you don’t want to - the late summer light is cast over Frankie in a hazed block, highlighting the broadness of his back. He faces away from it - face to the door - on his side of the bed, splayed limbs and his face squished against the pillow, your own pulled close enough he can no doubt smell it. (And that’s likely why).

As you lean against the doorframe watching you think that at least for now all you want to do is watch and bask in the peaceful ambience of the room. The dust motes in the evening light, the gentle hum of life somewhere outside. To let this moment be and take comfort in knowing that right now Frankie is here and he’s safe and he’s resting. You don’t want to disturb his rest - god knows he needs it - but seeing him like this, all loose-limbed and completed relaxed, you do want to be closer. You want to admire him, already mentally tracing lines down the softly defined muscles of his back, remembering the places where the few freckles from his afternoons in the sun are scattered across his shoulders. You want to gather him up in your arms, to kiss your way across the bared skin, shower him in affection and maybe - just maybe - that’d be a kind of rest too, to be wrapped up in your love.

In the end your own selfish desires win, drawing you over to the bed where you settle down next to him, at just the right distance that you think he might not have noticed the dip in the mattress. He does. Sensing you even when he’s mostly asleep Frankie makes a soft noise in the back of his throat before the hand nearest starts to search for you. Blindly patting and feeling his way across the bed, when Frankie finds your thigh his fingers slip up and over, gripping lightly into your soft skin so it dimples beneath his touch. He looks so peaceful you hardly dare to move in case it disturbs him again. But when he makes another noise and a gentle tug on your leg you go willingly. You settle yourself right alongside him then gently take his larger hand in your own, allowing him to sleepily shift and interlace his fingers alongside yours until he’s happy. Raising the paired hands to your lips you press soft kisses across his knuckles. He hums in content at the feeling, turning his face upward towards you though his eyes remain closed.

“Frankie?” He makes a quiet acknowledging noise. “You there?”

“Mmmmhm.” Comes the sound again, this time paired with a quick squeeze of your hand.

“You doing ok?”

He hums in response before, “tired.” Comes the reply.

“Yeah. You did a lot today didn’t you? You must have worked hard, I know it. Baby I’m proud of you.” At your words Frankie makes a small pained noise before pulling himself over, hiding his face fully against your leg, his arm over your lap and clinging to your other hip. “That kind of day?” He nods slowly against you, his nose dragging against your thigh with the movement. “Ok. I’m here.”

This you can do.

With one hand you cup the back of his skull, fingers threading through his still-damp curls and drawing mindless circles and patterns. It’s a gesture he’s done to you so many times that you know first hand the kind of comfort it brings, hoping it’ll do the same for him. Your other hand you allow to slide down onto his back, fingers spread to just feel him for a moment and feel his warmth. You study the contrasts of the two of you, how broad his back is under your hand, and how he appears even bigger when he sighs at the contact, pushing up into you ever so slightly before he finds himself too heavy and drops back down.

You lose yourself to it - the touch and how it soothes you both - and time drifts to feel molasses slow in the fading golden sunlight. Frankie’s breathing is a steady cadence, puffs of warm air against your leg, his back rising and falling under your hand as he breathes in and lets it out, becoming a comforting weight across you. You slowly admire him beneath you, allowing your fingers to trace up and down his muscles like you’d thought about, rubbing his back in a hope to soothe him before walking your fingers step by step from one freckle to the next. Frankie shivers at the tickle, grumbling slightly as he holds you tighter.

“Alright, alright,” You murmur. “didn’t mean you tickle you, softie.” He gives a huff of amusement at the endearment, and a small nuzzle against you in thanks for stopping as you run firm strokes over his back to ease the sensation.

Then your hands begin to wander on their own accord; finding what you know are his usual tight spots along his broad shoulders and at the base of his neck, digging your thumbs in and working to ease the tension. Frankie hums then lifts himself to shuffle even closer to you again. He gives a passing kiss to your stomach before resting his head on your other thigh and letting himself become heavy over you.

Once he’s settled you return to your work. You follow familiar tracks down his back, walking your thumbs down either side of his spine before repeating with long strokes and pressing down around and to his stomach. Over and over you go, firmly pressing into him until he stops shifting with the over-sensitivity of it. It’s hard to do some of it right with the angle, so you settle for the best you can and center in on what you know is usually tight. The worst is generally up his neck, the tension from holding his shoulders wrong causing permanent tightness there. You dig in, using your fingers to roll the muscles until they yield, mindful every time Frankie breathes hard against you. Until one time it catches and you stop, instead rubbing over the area to relieve the ache. You’re working up to finishing the short massage when Frankie notices and speaks up.

“Don’t stop.” It’s said so quietly you barely catch it, muffled as it is against your skin.

“What was that?” Maybe a lesser man would have changed his words, postured and put on a front. But Frankie - your kind and ever-open Frankie - only rolls his head to the side, cracks his eyes open to hold your gaze and repeats it.

“Please don’t stop querida.”

At his reassurance you shake your head gently in reply, then, “I won’t baby. ‘m right here, I got you.” His lips quirk up at the corners at your easy pet-name, enough to round his cheeks and soften his eyes as they drift back shut, the smile lingering a fraction longer before he pulls into you again.

When you return to it you work in earnest now but in broader pressures - pressing the heels of your hands into his back, pushing long strokes downwards and working the knots out. Frankie huffs at the ache and breathes out in measured breaths whenever you find something particularly tight that sends bright flashes of pain through his body. You’re mindful but know he needs it, evident in how the more you work the heavier he gets against you. Each passing of your hands makes the coil of his tension loosen more and more until he’s finally lying completely boneless against you.

“Alright,” You murmur, folding yourself down over him enough to press a kiss to his forehead. “Come on then love.” An eye cracks open at your words, a small groan of protest breaking the silence.

“Don’t stop…sleep.” Is all he mumbles in reply.

“I know Frankie. Sleep for both of us. That’s what I meant.”

It’s a bit of work to rearrange the pair of you, Frankie nothing but a mumbling weight, quietly protesting the whole shift. But as soon as you are both laying down facing each other he slots his leg between yours immediately, fitting his body alongside you like a paired puzzle piece. Nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck Frankie settles against you with a sigh. He’s all heavy limbs - an arm thrown over your waist and crooked up to reach for your shoulder, or maybe your head, but there’s no grip to his fingers, his leg trying to pull you even closer. It puts him back in reach for soft kisses, which you gently press against his forehead over and over, loving the reaction it gets from him - a soft huff as he pushes his face down each time, his beard rubbing at your skin but it’s worth it (like always). Your fingers thread again through his curls, dry enough now they’ve gone a bit wispy at the ends. You play with the individual strands, rolling them between your fingers until he shivers at the feeling against his scalp.

“Sleep.” And this time he truly sounds on the edge of it.

“Sleep.” You agree, snuggling in to enjoy his presence and the last of the day’s sun.

tell me your soft thoughts 🌙 + fluffy friday + my masterlist

[gangrenados]

dude im so disappointed alfred is dead in titans. its totally unfair. 10/10 for fanfic purposes im just gonna ignore that part so i can imagine pretty boy dickie bringing his babies to meet alfred for the first time

AHHH THIS IS SO CUTE.

(Not proof read)

Dick's heart can't bear more joy as he watches your five year old son through the reviewer mirror, kissing your pregnant belly.

He has been such a good kid, always offering to help you and also saying that he will teach his new baby sibling how to play. Little John wants to be big brother so fast.

Life has taken a turn for the better, letting Dick have what he always desired and much more. He doesn't take this joy for granted, nobody in the vigilante business would do it anyway.

Years of witnessing the horrors of humanity as you do your best to make the world a better place left you praising the little things in life. At this point waking up without back pain and a nice bowl of his favorite cereal is enough to put Dick in a good mood for the rest of the day.

"You good, my love?" He nods, not sure if the butterflies in his stomach is due happiness or nervousness. Whatever the case might be, it's to late back down.

After years of miscommunication between Bruce and Dick has left the man grow old without witnessing the ups and downs of becoming a grandparent. Such a funny thing considering how desperate Bruce was back in the day about using protection and not making him any grandkids.

Dick even remembers that awkward day when Bruce 'gifted' him an entire box full of condoms since "You never know" might happen.

Alfred was one of his torturers too, but unlike Bruce the butler didn't hesitated to tell Dick the atrocities that might happen to him if he didn't use some protection. It was so mortifying having to hear about the nastiest STDS and it's symptoms.

Dick knew that meant the better for him, but those are conversations he will never be able to forget.

Oh Alfred! Another victim in that miscommunication issue that make Dick fly on his own and make a name for himself. All the things there were unsaid, all those bottle up feelings left hanging between a kid and what grew to be his grandfather.

Dick felt his heart tighten at the memories, the good and the bad, and how Alfred always was there for giving him a hand in case of need. He has been so selfish.

"This is so big!" Your kid said in amusement, not taking his little hands from the fogged mirror as he saw the big mansion approach.

Dick laughed at his son behavior, he was like him so many years ago." Yes it is buddy, wait to see the pool. You might like it."

And the time passes, rather quickly for Dick liking, and before he notices, he's helping you go up those little stairs as your kid is already knocking on the door and doing whatever he can to get to that promised pool.

"John wait-" Dick's cut by the sound of the front door opening, there's a tall and thin man dressed in elegant yet comfortable clothes looking down at this little boy who looking back up with curiosity.

"My goodness...." Alfred mumbles as he notices how this strange kid is the spitting sight of Dick when he was a little boy, when he just came into Wayne's manor.

Dick holds his breath, grabbing your hand firmly as he tries to find the words to break the ice. "Hi."

That's the best he can come up with once he gets the enough strength to go and grab his kid. "Long time no see, right?"

"Alfred you don't need to attend the door-" another voice appears and in short time Bruce Wayne puts a foot in the scene, being forgotten by everyone else since the participants are too absorbed in their own emotions to acknowledge the rest.

"Master Dick, you're back!" Alfred says with glee, in his mouth an smile appears as he finally accepts this. His old soul finding content to be able to see the little circus boy again, just slightly different now.

Bruce swallows dryly, not knowing how to process this, and Dick feels the need to push back the overbearing emotions that want to present themselves.

"Yeah," He says dumbfounded, caught in the emotional part of this family reunion.

"Who are these people, dad?" John dared to ask, tugging at Dick's shirt and causing his dad to come back to reality.

Alfred and Bruce's eyes widened with surprise at the boy little words, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Dick.

" Uh, em, this is my family. My wife y/n and my son John. We were passing by and decided to pay a little visit, hope you don't mind." You pursued your lips in a thin line at Dick's obvious lie, at least he was talking to his family face to face.

"So you have a family?" All eyes fell on Bruce, and Dick stiffen in preparation to hear what he had to say." And I can see there's another baby coming. Are you happy, son?"

The question caught Dick off guard, he frowned before saying." Yes, I am, Bruce."

"Good, I'm glad you are." Such a simple answer held many emotions behind it, to summarize it there was a big chance Bruce was just happy to see Dick having that sweet life.

And he couldn't deny that watch Alfred bonding with his great grandson was a sight he never knew he would get to see.

Bruce walked up to Dick, patting his shoulder with pride. "There's a lot of things we need to caught on."

Dick intertwines his hand with yours, gently pulling you closer to him as he offers one of those smile of his. "Sure there are."

[kazewhara]

OKK WE ALL LIKE ROYAL!KAZUHA BUT WHAT ABT BODYGUARD!KAZUHA

he likes to tease you, very subtle, but the glimmer of mischief in his autumn eyes doesn’t lie.

he know you very well too, he’s observant and smells if something is wrong with you. so he tries to crack jokes (even if hes not to good at it) and humming a song for you

when u don’t want to go to your private lessons, he will find u hiding in ur usual spot, and sit beside u to read outloud, and u at some point couldn’t concentrate enough bc he was too close and his lips where so pink and looked so soft, and he smelled so good and he’s so gentle all the time-

in the days you want to hear awesomes stories, you force him to sit beside you at the shade of the tree, rambling and asking about it until he laughs and his eyes glimmer and shine in the sunlights that filters from the green leaves and just talk a lot about his travels and the friends he made in the way

I GAVE U THE POWER ZUZU, TO PLEASE CONTINUE MY BRAINROT ABT KAZUHA

- 🧚🏻‍♀️

THE TABLES HAVE BEEN TURNED.... OH BOY..

oh dawg pause cause my brain legit short circuited at the mention of his lips OWKSKSHSJSHJSSN YEAH I GOT IT REALLLL BAD.

observant bodyguard!kazuha who sneaks you your favorite snacks on sleepless nights per your request... he'll try to slip away back to his post but you insist that he stays and shares with you since he "got too much"

(he didn't. you just like the way he looks in the moonlight that filters through your curtains.)

pretty bodyguard!kazuha who accidentally dozes off as you two sit under a tree on the palace grounds, his head leaning against the bark and his lips slightly parted. you can't take your eyes off of him -- looking at him now, you realize how tense he really is every day. with his white-blonde lashes fluttering as he snoozes, kazuha looks like an angel. two things cross your mind then, the first questioning why a man such as kazuha is a bodyguard. the second being about how soft his lips look.

IM SORRY I GOTTA INDULGE BUT LIKE

you kiss him as he sleeps. it's nothing but a soft press of lips against his cheek and your whisper of thanks is on the breeze that follows. you fluster then, your own cheeks burning as you realize what you've done. you can't help but touch your fingers to your lips as you return to your book, your vision blurry as you mentally crucify yourself for being so hasty.

beside you, your bodyguard cracks open one eye to see you with one hand on your face while his own face burns. he'd woken up the moment he felt you getting closer. his heart threatens to leap out of his chest and the place you kissed tingles with the selfish desire for more.

he wants more -- needs more. but he can never have it. so the two of you sit beneath that tree, each of you daydreaming of what can never be.