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kpop · 3 years

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K-Pop Spotlight: Stray Kids

Stray Kids are back with their noisiest and most memorable album yet. To celebrate, we caught up with the self-producing boy group to talk about their second full album NOEASY, the new single “Thunderous,” and some of the lessons they’ve learned in the three years since their debut. Check out our full interview below!

Where did the inspiration for the album title NOEASY come from? Would you consider your Stray Kids sound to be noisy, and do you like that description?

Bang Chan: We did a little wordplay with the words “no easy” and “noisy,” meaning that in a world where things aren’t so easy, we will be noisier and noisier. I actually don’t mind people describing our music as noisy ’cause that’s what we’re trying to be. The loudest noise that everyone will remember!

Changbin: Since our title songs are typically powerful and performance-based, I’m sure some people think our music is a little noisy. With that said, some people enjoy that sort of energy. We also get energized and have fun on stage, so I think the expression “noisy” is a positive thing. The title NOEASY is a spirited response to all the noise that distracts us and gets in our way—to say that we’re not an easy match and we won’t back down.

You celebrated your third anniversary as a group earlier this year (congrats!)—what are some of the (harder) lessons you’ve learned over the years as a group that produces all of their own music?

Hyunjin: During these past three years, the things I’ve learned are the love of STAY and how to love more. Additionally, through countless performances, I think my stage skills have also improved.

HAN: I was amazed and thankful to learn that the songs I write and create can move people. I hope to continue making good music that will move more people and continue to touch their hearts!

Felix: I learned that it’s hard to reach many goals in life. However, over the past years, I’ve learned to ask for help and feedback from my members. As time goes by, we’ve strengthened our team play to overcome anything.

What’s the first song you remember loving, or what is one of your recent favorite songs?

Bang Chan: Out of Stray Kids songs? “Hellevator” because it was our first official song as Stray Kids.

Lee Know: I was told that when I was a child, I used to dance and sing along to the music on the radio that my parents would listen to. I think that’s when I first started loving music, but I can’t remember what those songs were!

Changbin: “개똥벌레” (T/N: This song translates to “Firefly” in Korean and is a nursery song.)

Hyunjin: I think my favorite song is “Secret Secret” because HAN and I share the same emotional wavelength, and the lyrics really resonated with me.

HAN: I really liked “D” by DEAN!

Felix: “Grow Up” is a song we always sang together with our STAY during our concerts and performances. This song brings back a lot of unforgettable memories for me.

Seungmin: Kim Dong Ryul’s “Drunken Truth”

I.N: My favorite song from this album is “Thunderous!”

Many of you were really into anime and exercise as your stress-relief/hobbies the last time we spoke. Tell us a little bit about what you are into these days, outside of your activities as Stray Kids.

Bang Chan: Umm, I’m still exercising daily, and these days I’ve been using Felix’s Switch to play games.

Lee Know: I either cook or go to a cafe to read a book.

Changbin: I like working out!

Hyunjin: I study art and draw. I like to have my own time of healing in my free time by watching other artists on YouTube.

HAN: I still watch anime, go on YouTube, work on music, and exercise. I think I tend to gravitate more towards things I can do at home rather than outside.

Felix: If I have the time, I go out bike riding, walk in the park, or look for some new recipes to cook for the people around me.

Seungmin: I’ve been enjoying taking vocal lessons and playing the guitar sometimes! I’ve also developed a deep interest in coffee, so I’ve been exploring different machines and flavors.

I.N: I recharge by laying in bed and watching YouTube or movies.

On these last few albums, we’ve seen some unit songs developed outside of the usual 3RACHA team. Do your members ever surprise or excite you by what they come up with when you’re working as a new unit?

Bang Chan: Yes, it’s always surprising and exciting! It’s really unexpected, and their ideas are really good, too, so it’s always fun to work as units.

Changbin: It’s even more inspiring and helpful when I hear other ideas outside of my own.

Seungmin: I was blown away by Felix’s rap and vocals in “Surfin’!” I remember being very pleasantly surprised by the originality/freshness of his self-written rap.

You’ve all grown so much as people and performers since your debut. How has that growth impacted your sound and the themes in your music?

Lee Know: As we’ve grown, we’ve widened our range of music and performances, which has allowed Stray Kids the ability to convey a broader range of expressions.

Seungmin: In my case, I think I’ve become a reliable vocalist for Stray Kids! In order to sing our team’s songs well, I’m honing my singing ability so that I can pull off any type of melody 3RACHA creates.

I.N: Our album contains songs of diverse genres, and singing this wide variety of songs has helped me grow a lot.

If you could have a meal with your families anywhere in the world tonight, what would you be eating and where?

Bang Chan: Just having a normal dinner with the fam at home would be nice.

Lee Know: I think it would be the best if I could have a home-cooked meal with my family at our home in Gimpo. There’s no place more comfortable than that, and Soonie, Doongie, and Dori (our cats) are there, too.

Changbin: I want to go to Australia and eat steak!

Hyunjin: I want to visit Japan with my parents and go to a hot spring again. I’d like to eat the grilled skewers that we had there last time.

HAN: I would like to have a BBQ party and grill tons of meat like chicken, beef, pork, lamb, etc. It would be fun to rent a vacation home and just eat and have fun!!

Felix: I’d love to eat in Australia with my family at a nice, big, fancy restaurant, just enjoying the view, the food, and having the time of our lives together.

Seungmin: I would like to cook and enjoy a meal together at home. It’s the best when you can eat good food and have good conversations in a comfortable atmosphere!

I.N: I would like to grill and eat pork belly in Hawaii while looking out at the ocean.

Want more of Stray Kids? Check out their second full-length album NOEASY and the music video for "Thunderous" here.

#stray kids #kpop spotlight #stray kids kpop spotlight

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needleandhammer · 3 years

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From Simmer to Score

Pairing: Soft!Curtis Everett x Reader

Summary: Curtis is good with his hands. And other stuff.

Warnings: 18+ only, explicit, smut, oral sex, penetration, fingering, dub con breeding, unprotected sex, breeding kink sort of, size kink, petite!reader, Curtis' fingers

Word count: 4k

A/N: This doesn't really fit the prompt i chose from @stargazingfangirl18 's 5k Soft Dark Challenge: "You hire a local handyman to help you with a few home projects." But the prompt still inspired this. I wanted to take the prompt somewhere more explicitly dark but once again my contribution to this challenge turned marshmallow soft. This is an au, non-apocalypse au, normal life au, idk. Just self-indulgent. Also, it was a struggle finding a gif of clean Curtis. Because he's clean in this and not living on a train, i swear.

“Try again. Very good. Let’s have you run through the exercises and then we’ll take a look at the new homework."

At your smile, the little girl nods and quickly turns to concentrate on coordinating her footwork on the pedals of your old Altenberg while reading the notes in front of her.

You back away, heading to the kitchen for some iced tea. You nearly forget your other guest who sits at the table.

This is the third time he’s accompanied Wendy for her lessons. For a man of his size, Curtis makes no sound except the faint swish of pages turning in his book. Like before, he arrived with Wendy, nodded a greeting at you, waited for your invitation to the kitchen, and then spent the entire hour silently reading.

You pull the fridge door open and pour tea into three glasses. You quietly slide one towards him. Curtis’ eyes flicker up to you, brilliantly blue, and he gives you a low murmur.

“Thanks.”

You’re about to return to Wendy when you hear your name in Curtis’ smooth baritone.

He nods to the notepad left on the table. “I, uh, noticed your reminder to call for maintenance. Something wrong?”

“Oh.” You tidy up the table, sheepish at being caught procrastinating house chores. “Just needed a second look at the water heater. The repair company came by and we tested things out when they were done, but the next day I had no hot water.”

You grimace, thinking of taking another cold shower.

“If you’re okay with it, I can grab my tool bag from my car and take a look,” he says.

You’re not prepared for the offer. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

He shakes his head, no hesitance. “I don’t mind at all. As long as you don’t.”

“I mean. I-I would really appreciate the help.”

Your time with Wendy ends after you review practice goals with her until her next lesson.

Curtis joins you two. “Hot water is running again.”

Your jaw drops and you skip to the kitchen. Hot water pours out of your faucet. You return, unable to resist grinning widely at him.

“Thank you, Curtis. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Curtis taught my dad everything about fixing houses!” Wendy chirped. He offers her a crooked smile.

“Do you have everything?” you ask your young pupil.

While Wendy thanks you and you help her pack, Curtis watches on with a faint curve to his lips.

“Edgar’s changing over to late shifts for the next couple of months. I’ll probably be driving Wendy to lessons again.”

You nod. “Sounds good. See you both then.”

After they leave, you enjoy a glorious steamy shower and then you settle onto your couch with a plate of leftover grilled veggies and fish.

Reviewing your schedule, you consider taking on one or two more students. It was years ago that you gave private lessons to help pay for college. Nearly a decade of moving between a few jobs, you are now in a quiet suburb working with a team of digital designers. The job allows you to work from home half the week, a flexibility you take great appreciation in. The professional stability encouraged you to return to music and to helping others develop their musical interests.

Wendy is your only student at the moment as you want to ease into taking on this additional responsibility. You smile, recalling your initial meeting with Wendy and her father, Edgar. Her father’s bubbly energy is such a stark contrast to Curtis. Edgar opened up quickly, sharing that he and Wendy’s mother were no longer together, that he would support whatever Wendy wanted to do. There was a perpetually youthful vigor to the room when Edgar was present.

Wendy calls Curtis, Uncle, and his adoration for her is clear. He barely said two words when he was here the first time. It doesn’t bother you. You get the impression Curtis purposely tries to not draw attention to himself, and you can empathize with that preference for tranquility.

_ _ _ _

It’s a windy day, heavy with rain clouds, the next time Wendy and Curtis are over.

“I saw your screen door was down. Planning on replacing it?” Curtis asks when you wrap up with Wendy.

“Nah. I was just going to look up what I would need and try fixing it myself.”

“It’s kind of heavy.”

His tone doesn’t imply any skepticism aimed at you and you’re not offended. You’re used to people calling you ‘small,’ though you’re not small so much as you’re short. You like to think you take up ample space. You also admit strength is not something you have in abundance. Your whole life you relied on family and friends for a lot of literal heavy lifting. But Curtis already helped you out once.

“I could fix it up.”

“I won’t ask you to do that.”

“It’s no bother, really. I’m happy to help out.”

He promises to be quick about it. While he works, Wendy happily practices on your piano.

“I have Oreos,” you announce.

She pauses to grab a cookie. “Thank you so much for letting me practice longer.”

“Of course, dear.”

She chats a bit about her upcoming birthday plans, as children are wont to do.

Curtis pops his head in. “All set. Do you want to take a look?”

You follow him out back. Swinging the screen door on its hinges, you nodded appraisingly.

“I suppose it passes inspection.” You look up with a cheeky smile, pleased to see Curtis’ lips twitching. “Thank you. Really, Curtis. I do wish you’d let me pay you.”

He shakes his head. “It’s nothing. Besides, you’re great with Wendy. I’m grateful for that.”

You can tell he loves Wendy just as much as if he was her father. “In that case, I shall give Wendy her next lesson for free.”

He blinks at you, trailing behind as you make your way inside and calling out to Wendy.

Curtis has resigned himself to a quiet, bare life. He doesn't think he wants anything much. He has Edgar’s loyalty, a result of the brotherhood he formed in his impoverished teen years. They survived together, looked out for each other. Once Wendy came along like a little star burning in a smoggy midnight, Curtis counted himself lucky to witness the little girl growing up. A chance to help nourish one seed.

The first time he arrived with Wendy at your home, Curtis couldn’t help listening in on the entire lesson, making no progress in his book. Your clear voice, your generous encouragement. You, light on your feet moving so swiftly. You, barely reaching his shoulders yet mighty in spirit, curvy and sensuous. Curtis had an urge to lift you in his palms to be stored safely in his pocket.

_ _ _ _

And so things follow. Wendy diligently learning and Curtis primarily accompanying her, taking his place at your kitchen table. You come to enjoy his steady, grounding presence just a couple steps away from you and Wendy.

Now and then, he’ll notice some upkeep you’re doing – a leaky faucet, a box of new light bulbs on your counter – and volunteer his assistance. You are reluctant to put him to work, sure that he spends enough of his days working and doing chores in his own home and besides these are tasks you can handle even if you find them tedious. Curtis is always gentle in his offers, always obtains your permission first. As time goes by and you grow less shy about accepting his help and he grows more comfortable in your space, you realize working with his hands is second nature to Curtis.

It doesn't take long for Curtis to admit to himself he wants to be near you.

Curtis doesn’t meddle. He doesn’t mingle. He doesn’t have any interest in widening his social circle. He is aware you thrived on your own for a long time, just like him; and like he has Edgar and Wendy, you have a small close-knit group of friends. Lending a hand to you doesn’t count because you are like him.

Maybe this is why he lets his guard down under your roof. There is something kindred in your calm nature that his soul responds to. Under your roof, no silences need to be filled; no pretenses forced upon him. Your invitation to rest is unspoken – he hears it and almost weeps. The more time he spends with you, like two wavelengths in tune, the stronger his urge to insert himself. To fix, or in some way leave his mark on your home. Curtis doesn’t have any interest in widening his social circle. Lending a hand to you didn't count. Until he cannot help it. He doesn’t reach out for you, doesn’t try to prove you’ll curve perfectly within his arms; but he’ll ensure your softness can curl up in a sturdy home and delight in simple pleasures.

One evening, when Edgar works later than usual, you ask if Wendy and Curtis would join you for dinner.

“Nothing fancy. I have some noodle soup and salad. Curtis, can you call Edgar to meet us here?”

Wendy sets the table. Curtis assists with the food.

He’s quick to cup your hand in his when it's nicked with a knife. You can’t help leaning into him as he runs your finger under water, wraps it in clean paper towel. He finishes with the salad, making you sit at the table.

Edgar joins you all, tired but quickly gaining energy with food and a few sips of wine. You are full and warmed by their company. While Edgar cheers on Wendy while she practices from her book, you feel Curtis’ fingers curl over your hand. His thumb brushes over your cut. You share a smile with him.

_ _ _ _

You settle into your little Toyota only to find it won’t start. It stumps you because you never had issues with this car before. You have no experience with car maintenance and don’t know the first thing to check for an engine that won’t wake.

Calling Curtis to see if you can reschedule, he insists that he can swing by to pick you up.

He had called you, his voice almost shy. He wanted to surprise Wendy for her birthday with a piano and asked for your help.

You direct Curtis to the string instruments shop in the city’s downtown area. The two of you are greeted by a sales staff upon entry. When asked, Curtis looks to you, wordless, so you do your best to describe to the salesperson what you're looking for.

There are several options of acoustic and digital instruments. You give little demonstrations on a few pianos that you consider reasonably priced.

“Curtis, check this one out.” Your hold on his sleeve is loose and propels him towards one of the upright Baldwin pianos.

“I think any of these would suit Wendy. The sounds are clear, and they don’t take up too much space. The salesperson said this one is second-hand and it’s in really good shape.” You press a few chords, then look up at Curtis with a smile.

He looks at you, gaze gentle. “I’m not worried about price. I’ll take whatever you recommend.”

That was his general response when you asked his opinion during your time in the shop: he was up for anything you recommended. Other than that, he trailed behind you so that the salesperson assumed you were the primary purchaser. Much like in your house, Curtis seemed to try hard to not draw attention. Oddly, you didn’t think anyone in the same room with him could help noticing him. Even with the dark apparel he favored, Curtis’ reserved nature can't hide all the intensity and strength just thrumming beneath the surface of his tall imposing build.

You convince him to sit beside you on the bench. He’s never played before, but humors you and tries random combinations of thirds with you. You watch his hands – clean, wide, with thick fingers – hover and slide along the keys.

He nudges you.

“Sorry. I was just impressed your sausage fingers are quite nimble.”

A half-hearted glare. “Thank you. For coming with me.”

“If I say you’re welcome, will you take a look at my car when we get back?”

He stays for dinner.

It starts raining and you have to rush out to gather hanging linens. He helps and you both run back inside. You're giddy at his eagerness to assist, resulting in damp clothing on you both.

“Oh, let’s dump it here. I’ll fold it tomorrow.” You are happy to leave the laundry in a pile on an armchair, in too good of a mood to care.

You catch him with his attention on you, a look so soft you have to look away, walk blindly a few steps. His touch is on your arm, turning you around just as you reach the piano.

He dips his head low to press chapped lips to yours, capturing your lips more, closing in to envelope you in his heat.

Curtis’ hands grip your hips with a quick jostle against the piano, prompting a slur of bright notes ringing from the keyboard that you are pressed against. And then he’s hitching you further up and firmly in his arms. His tongue licks against yours. You slant your open mouth, inviting him to taste, to devour you from the inside out. Your legs wrap around his waist like you belong there, tethered to this point in time. There’s no past or future, only Curtis, only feeling safe and real in his arms now now now.

You barely register Curtis moving, tipping you onto the couch cushions to hover over you so close. You can’t remember burning for someone like this. You can’t remember much of anything, focused on Curtis, solid and unyielding between your thighs, muscles buzzing with raw strength.

You want so badly to know more of him. Your hands wander shamelessly under his shirt, sliding up his wide back, grazing under to squeeze appreciatively at his pecs only to be called south by a narrowing of hair that leads you on until you bump his belt buckle.

You’re distracted by the tease of hot kisses he drops along your neck. There’s something sweet, vulnerable in how you allow him access to the delicate skin there. It makes Curtis bury his nose against the crook of your jaw, a long moment for him to whisper something like a prayer, before his tongue swirls and he nibbles your ear lobe. Your high pitched gasp hastens his desire. Your shirt is gone. Your bra untangled from your arms. Your breasts, oh, Curtis takes a mouthful of one fleshy breast, sucking greedily when you moan, breathless and aching now.

You claw at his shirt until it too disappears. You wriggle to help Curtis pull your pants and underwear off. Your legs want to yank him back to you, but he braces himself to allow just a bit more space between you both than before.

“Let me.” It’s almost a growl, and you want to say yes, but you want to kiss him more. You’re clinging by his neck, drinking from his soft lips, until you both part to draw breath.

His hand caresses your cheek, sliding over to slip two fingers into your slack mouth. Your tongue swipes at them, lips close to suck them in, eager to touch and taste any part of him. Jaw tight, Curtis pulls his fingers away and down. Down. His hand spans large over your curves and you hold your breath, grit your teeth. One finger saturated with saliva, sinks into your cunt. You swear you can feel more arousal dripping from you to soak his hand and he adds another finger, drawing short whimpers from you as his fingers withdraw and plunge in. God, you won’t ever tease him about his fingers again because they’re perfect. Agonizing in their quest to undo you.

His voice is husky groans, wanting so bad to feel your oh so tight cunt around his cock. Soon.

He tortures you, adds a third finger. You’re riding them, whimpering as he pumps them in you and parts the digits to stretch you. His weight slides away and you can only grasp at his hair, you’re barely glimpsing his head between your legs before you arch high when his thick wet tongue swirls and licks your folds, dialing up the white hot blooming inside you. His fingers curl just enough inside to press that patch against your pelvis that strings you tight as a bow. Pressing insistently, scratching with finger pads, until you burst and all you can do is chase more of that pulsing pleasure, humping against his face. Your hips quiver while Curtis laps at your slit.

His sucks grow gentle, thumb teasing your bud, helping you come down from the intense high.

You sigh his name.

“I’m here.”

“I want you.”

His arms wind around you, holding you tight while he kisses you. You can’t remember feeling anything better than being cradled like this as Curtis languidly kisses you.

He’s not rushed to move from you, so you cling to him and he loves you for it. Yes, he’s hard, but he wants to savor this. Already high on the sensation of your soft flesh underneath him, your thick thighs tight at his waist, your quiet hums of pleasure the evidence of his thorough work.

He ran from his past, from early years strife with despair, washing away those memories like dust and grime. He thought his life of isolation was one that moved him forward; but he has been stuck all this time.

Seeing you care for Wendy, Curtis realized he wanted that. He wanted what his friend had. He wanted you, and the precious something conceived between two souls that sing for one another. Soon. He’ll make your sweet little body his to protect, to warm through the nights.

_ _ _ _

“Thanks so much for having us for dinner,” Edgar says. He was been watching Wendy run around your humble backyard, chasing butterflies and searching for little frogs. He turns to you with a toothy grin. “And for your help with the gift. Wendy’s going to flip. I’m lucky to have you and Curtis both around.”

Your smile is just as affectionate. “Happy to have you here. Although,” your smile turns sly, “I’m a little disappointed that your special lady friend didn’t join us.”

“Curtis,” Edgar mutters under his breath. Curtis is washing dishes at the sink and pays no mind to any half-hearted curses directed at him.

Your brow arches, urging Edgar to talk as he can't help an embarassed grin.

“Well, she was traveling for work, unfortunately. But I know Wendy doesn’t mind her.”

The girl has whispered to you that Edgar’s girlfriend is beautiful and she wished she would become her new mom; this you keep to yourself, not wishing to embarrass or pressure your friend further.

“I’m happy to hear that.”

Edgar’s eyes slide sideways, quiet for a moment before he jumps out of his seat and heads to the door leading to the backyard. “I’ll just…uh…” He exits, trailing off without finishing his sentence.

You sigh and take another bite of your cake, indulging in the moist chocolate flavor. Glancing up, you find Curtis watching you. His attention is singular, a warm simmer in those bright blue eyes, causing you to freeze except for your tongue that finishes sweeping over your upper lip. His gaze narrows, grew weighty, tracking your tongue as it retreats into your mouth. He pushes away from the counter, steps close until he is able to drop to his knee beside your chair. One strong yank has your seat turning so you face him.

The door creaks open again.

“Well, the sun’s getting low so I think we’ll head home and wind down.” Edgar announces with his daughter close at his side. He has a boyish grin on his face, pulling Wendy towards the front of your house. "Wendy, say good bye.”

“Isn’t Curtis leaving too?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll leave when he’s ready.”

“Have a good night, you two,” you say, walking with them to the front. Though Edgar is still cheerfully thanking you for the meal and insisting you stay inside and not see them off.

“You go on and just have a good time, both of you.” He sends a wink your way. You shake your head at him. “Curtis! You be a gentleman now.”

Quick as he can, he has Wendy secured in the car and they are on their way.

“Huh.” You lock the front door before turning to find Curtis. You can tell he wants to roll his eyes at Edgar’s antics. Instead, he closes in on you.

“Are you worried about me not being a gentleman?” he murmurs. His fingers hook under yours loosely.

You smirk. “I’m worried about you being too much of a gentleman.”

That smolder returns to his gaze. For a second, your body shivers, overwhelmed and you side step him, if only for a moment’s relief from the heat of his eyes.

You reach out. He takes your hand.

Once you’re down a layer, he grows even hotter seeing the mesh and lace number you have on. A tantalizing tease with the hard peaks of your nipples veiled in barely-there maroon. Just daring him to unwrap you. So he does.

His mouth leaves a wet trail seeking sensitive spots on your neck, you breasts, your thighs. Even as he moves, he still covers nearly all of your body, his heat and weight drowning you in want.

Your shudder has him grazing his beard up the inside of your thigh so that you arch and plea for his touch. God, all your uninhibited responses spur the blazing hunger in him. Curtis peels the mesh underwear down, impatient for a taste of you. His mouth waters, catching wafts of arousal and then he’s sucking and lapping your wet pussy. His rumbling groan is like a physical nudge that bows your back, and you remain rigid in the air at the sensation of his thick tongue pushing into you. Wide shoulders part your legs, shifting until your thighs rest on vast muscles.

You rock against him, keen at the hard sucks. Two fingers dip into, fucking you and rubbing with a dizzying rhythm that brings you over the edge.

With little effort, he holds up your hips and you feel a pillow slide under you to angle you higher. Then his muscled arms hook under your knees and he finally lines up and rocks forward. The tip of his cock parts your folds. Your breath hitches. His cock slides in, forcing your walls to stretch, to mold tightly to his girth.

“Curtis” – your hand was going point to the little bedside table with condoms.

Instead, you’re gripping a blanket. Gasping as he withdraws and your pussy tries to hold him in.

You mumble against his lips, incoherent. “The…inside..”

And then he feeds you his length again. And again, that delicious, addicting friction.

"Yes, inside," he agrees softly. "Like this."

With every pump, the spark catches and blazes higher. Curtis rises onto his knees, thrusts harder, watching your eyes flutter open and shut. He’s panting with the pretty picture of a needy you. He grips your thighs. As if his life depends on how tight he clutches you. Concentrating hard, his eyes drop low. Fuck. He can see your pussy clench, your puffy outer lips suckling his cock. Curtis swears your little body is refusing to give him up, and you’re wet but your cunt squeezes him so tight he has to drive harder into you to avoid slipping out.

You’re not even aware of your breathy moans, so turned on by his groans, the rough thrusts he gives you. There’s no grinding. Curtis can tell he’s rubbed against your g-spot and he keeps his snapping hips angled just right, one callused thumb circling your clit too lightly. And then your breaths stutter, your legs seize, your back arches. Curtis grits his teeth, keeping the exact same pace, draws out the storm of your pleasure. It’s so consuming, you lose your voice.

Just as you are able to breathe again, able to sense the physical realm around you, Curtis speeds up, bucking hard with low grunts, powering into you.

A high gasp – you feel him flood you. He drops to press his chest to you, still pumping his release into your clenching walls; and it’s too much, his cock merciless within your sensitive channel. He can’t help it, even as your legs start writhing with his unrelenting stimulation, even as he hears your hitched whimpers.

He finally stills. His lips find yours, tongue stroking deep.

Long moments later, his name is gentle, falling from your lips. “We didn’t use protection.”

Curtis nuzzles you, rubs his nose along the planes of your cheeks. Returns to suck your bottom lip. “It’s okay,” he whispers.

There’s a soft frown upon your brow that he kisses, and then scatters more kisses on your face.

“But, what if?”

“I want you. I want everything with you.”

You’re barely able to react as he nips hard at your collarbone and then rolls his hips. He’s half-hard inside you. You’re quickly losing yourself in Curtis, overwhelmed by the combination of his hungry mouth on your skin, unyielding clasp on your thigh. His thrusts persist, pins you in place, lights you up and scorches you. You’re right where he wants you, whining for more more more.

Now with each beat of his heart, Curtis has his mind’s eye on the prize. He’ll have you over and over. And you’ll grow a piece of him inside you. You are the way forward. You are his.

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A/N: Hurrah, this one felt like it took forever. I blame Curtis. He didn't give himself up to me easily. Let me love you, ya broody boi! Thank you for reading!

#curtis everett #curtis everett x reader #smut #fanfic #siris5ksoftdarkchallenge

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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 14 first part

(RR The Untamed Masterpost) (Canary’s Pinboard - more Masterposts)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Murder Turtle, Continued

Lan Wangji wakes up after a good night's sleep leaning against a rock wall, to find that his leg is no longer splinted, and his perfectly clean and unbloody headband has been put back on his head while he was sleeping.

Leaving aside the "not waking up" part of things, how, exactly, did Wei Wuxian get his headband on without mussing his hair? Did he bring a crochet hook?

Wei Wuxian gives him a sitrep and then they cozy up and have an extended conversation about the nature and history of the Tortoise of Slaughter. Wei Wuxian is interested in everything Lan Wangji has to say, and Lan Wangji talks a lot more than usual; they are completely on the same wavelength here and are enjoying swapping obscure knowledge.

Lan Wangji: My lacerated leg and I are actually super aware that it has big teeth, but thanks for the reminder.

In the course of the conversation, Wei Wuxian mentions his plan to 1. sneak into the tortoise's shell and 2. drive it out of its shell so they can attack it.

OP did a little tortoise research and learned that the only species of turtle that can leave its shell is the Koopa Troopa.

Good news for Wei Wuxian: If you jump on its shell in the right spot, you can rack up a pile of extra lives.

Does that make the Tortoise of Slaughter a giant Koopa Troopa? Perhaps...the king of the Koopa Troopas?

I'm gonna say yes.

(More after the cut)

Let’s Go Killing

Wei Wuxian is exhilarated by the idea of fighting a giant dangerous monster with Lan Wangji. Some day Wei Wuxian will found the Nike clan, because his motto is definitely "Just do it."

It's sweet how, in his romantic notions about chivalry and Lan Wangji, he's completely elided the original reason they were (sort of) told to venture together.

Wei Wuxian: I'm still on the "find the Yin Iron" quest; I'm just skipping the "suppress it" part.

Wei Wuxian weighs up their chances against Bowser and tells Lan Wangji that even if they die, it will be badass to be killed by a famous monster, so they won't have to feel embarrassed.

This is the exact moment that Lan Wangji's feelings for Wei Wuxian go from "smitten" to "gagging for it."

Lan Wangji: as soon as we get out of here I'm going to borrow a whole lot of books from Nie Huaisang

The boys come up with a plan that involves a rather long montage of collecting archery equipment and deconstructing it. This potentially-dull montage is fun to watch because they are both very, very good looking.

Artists who want to draw Wang Yibo as an elven archer, this is your episode.

Now we suddenly have, with zero explanation, telepathy. Ok, sure. It seems to work kind of like a phone conversation, in which they say specific things to each other, rather than like Cherry Magic telepathy where you can hear everything the other person is thinking. Or at least, neither of them is embarrassed, so I assume they are maintaining some mental privacy.

Club Ruohan

Same, Wen Chao, same

At some point there is a boring sequence at Club Ruohan. Wen Ruohan doesn't know where Xue Yang is, but really wants his hunk of Yin Iron. Wen Chao thinks that WRH's 3 pieces of Yin Iron should be able to beat Xue Yang's 1 piece, but apparently he is dumb and that is not how math works. O...kay? OP does not understand this either but whatever, Wen Ruohan is boring, moving on. This scene is really just here to make us think about Yin Iron before Wei Wuxian jumps into Bowser's shell.

Bigger On The Inside

So then Wei Wuxian climbs into Bowser's shell, which is, to quote The 12th Doctor, bigger on the inside.

Bowser’s shell is the approximate size of my entire house. It is also bathed in a hellish pure red photo filter, which OP has done her best to remove for these gifs, because it gives me eye strain and it obscures Xiao Zhan's hotness.

Camera Operator: What did I do?

Wei Wuxian wanders around inside, finding random corpses encased in slime cocoons. Tortoise, spider, xenomorph, whatever. There are also random curtain things hanging all over, and then at one point Wei Wuxian stares into the face of a corpse, and then does a jump scare response at the camera operator even though nothing particular happened.

I imagine the corpse was supposed to open its eyes and say "killl meeee" but it got censored. He also makes about 8 other faces at the camera operator, so we get that the inside of this TARDIS-like tortoise shell (must...resist...temptation...to...say...TORDIS) is yucky.

Lan Wangji waits outside listening to Wei Wuxian telepathically complain about the smell. He is anxiously clenching a bundle of string and an arrow, and wishing he could clench Wei Wuxian Bichen instead.

Serendipitous Yin Iron

Wei Wuxian backs his way through the TORDIS until his butt bumps into a sword that is steaming with resentful energy. That's right: Wei Wuxian is about to pull a piece of Yin Iron almost literally out of his ass.

He grabs it and is overwhelmed by its screaming resentful energy and has to let it go again.

So this is what a vibrator with 4 batteries feels like

When Bowser comes looking for him, however, he quickly decides to go for it, grabbing the sword and singing "I've Got the Power (Gonna Make You Sweat)"

Wei Wuxian plunges the sword into Bowser's lower jaw, and Bowser pulls his entire head out of his shell with Wei Wuxian attached, while leaving the rest of his body and all rational laws of physics inside the shell.

Gamera Versus the Cultivators

What follows is one of the more ridiculous action sequences in the history of the world, and I say that as someone who likes Mothra movies.

Wei Wuxian hovers in a perfect horizontal plank while “hanging from” the sword, which is held well below the level of his torso. While Bowser spins him around. For much of the time, Bowser keeps his head still and just waves his neck around.

Lan Wangji and the camera operator do everything they possibly can to make "guy pulls on string" look interesting.

Everybody tries really, really hard and the actors are great at pretending something is there when it isn't, but this whole sequence is just horribly conceived.

What works well, though, is the Yin energy and Wei Wuxian's wrangling of it. He starts off being frightened and overwhelmed, and looking like it's too much for him; I dont' know if they made his face puffy on purpose or if that's just what happens when you spend days hanging from the ceiling fighting an imaginary monster. But he looks slack and unwell as he grapples with the iron sword.

Which makes this moment, when he gets control of it, deliciously creepy. He uses the power of the Yin Iron to stick a bunch of pokey things into Bowser's neck.

Lan Wangji has seen him struggling and now sees him...not struggling. Which scares the piss out of him, and he moves to finish the fight as quickly as possible, slicing up his hand and breaking the string. Combined with the pokey things, this does the trick and Bowser dies while Wei Wuxian faints and falls into the water.

Do the Whumpty Whump

Lan Wangji rescues him and wakes him up, and Wei Wuxian clutches the Yin Iron sword and tells Lan Wangji that he was knocked out by the screaming of disembodied voices.

This certainly sounds like a strange and dangerous phenomenon, so Lan Wangji carefully asks him to explain everything.

Ha ha ha j/k. Lan Wangji asks him exactly nothing about the strange sword or the black smoke or his weird evil smile or his new power over pointy objects. Lan Wangji appears to have a Star Trek: TNG level of unconcern about strange phenomena happening directly under his nose. But in fact he has noticed what's up, which is why he will be instantly distressed when he sees Wei Wuxian's flute moves at the Wen Corporate Headquarters.

Wei Wuxian has a fever (stay positive test negative) and comments on Lan Wangji's being so nice to him.

Wei Wuxian: I could never have imagined Lan Er Gongzi acting this concerned about me. Lan Wangji: what else have you never imagined me doing, while we're on the subject?

Lan Wangji transfers a stream of spiritual energy to him. Lan Wangji has so much spiritual power he can be a battery for Wei Wuxian without breaking a sweat or, like, noticing whether Wei Wuxian has a golden core or not, for that matter.

Wei Wuxian basks in the nice feeling of gigajoules for a while but then decides he's bored. So then he pouts, whines, and cajoles Lan Wangji in exactly, EXACTLY the way he whines at Jiang Yanli. I think this, while annoying of him, is a leap forward in his relationship with Lan Wangji.

He's letting his guard down and not just allowing Lan Wangji to take care of him; he's demanding to be cared for on multiple vectors, when he asks the guy who's already busy healing him to sing to him as well.

Lan Wangji obliges, singing him the song he composed about their love cultivation journey, while Wei Wuxian (or possibly Lan Wangji) (or possibly both) has a flashback to assorted sexy interactions that they've had so far.

Wei Wuxian memorizes the song perfectly on one hearing, before passing out.

Writing Prompt: Baldur’s Gate III / Untamed Crossover AU featuring elf archer Lan Wangji

I DARE YOU

Soundtrack: 1. Everybody Dance Now by C+C Music Factory 2. Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf

Wei Wuxian fainting tally (cumulative): 3

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #wangxian #the untamed gifs #the untamed meta #the untamed spoilers #restless rewatch the untamed #my gifs #canary3d-original #asian whump

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bandersnatch-cucumberpatch · 3 years

Text

cbs ghosts opinions

i hadnt intended on posting about cbs ghosts because i hadnt intended on watching it (it just didnt seem like my cup of tea) but the curiosity got to me and now i have thoughts, please stick around for below the cut to hear them (pls note that i have nothing against the show, but i also dont think i owe it any favours just because the story comes from our six idiots):

it was,,, alright. it wasnt a struggle to watch, i laughed a couple of times, but it didnt do all that much to draw me in (that being said perhaps if i hadnt seen the bbc one first i would have been more interested). but there are a couple things i want to talk about

visuals - we all already knew what it was going to look like, very set like, basic lighting setups, cheap costumes, its not ideal. the look of the show doesnt strictly take anything away from it, but i feel like if more effort had been put into costuming and cinematography it really could have elevated the show. also i had some issues with editing; theres one scene in episode one that i found super confusing because they kept breaking the 180 rule and i couldnt get a sense of the locations, there were also some very obvious edits in this scene which really took me out of it. the greenscreen/sfx werent fantastic either but im willing to look past that because its not something i care about personally

dialogue - there are definitely some good jokes, tho it felt odd to me just how much they lifted from the original scripts. i appreciate that the cast have clearly seen the og series but it meant some of the line delivery was exactly the same and that did feel like a bit of a cop out. i did enjoy how they played the sams dead ‘tough loss’ joke, because im sure for first time viewers there really would have been a moment of worry.

writing - a little bit separate to dialogue a guess; there was too much exposition. they revealed so much information so quickly and it makes me worry how theyre going to stretch out a story. im not a fan of plot twists that simply contradict what we’ve been told and i feel thats all they can do from here. I cant see it having more than one decent season, because they havent left much space for the story to develop. i also didnt like how much they overexplained the jokes, i think it undermines the audiences intelligence.

characters - the characters were a little cartoonish for my personal taste. in the bbc show the characters are the heart of the story and i dont feel theyre all that grounded in this version. i know the characters we know and love are flawed but theyre still likeable, and im finding it hard to like the cbs counterparts. im torn on isaac, i dont think hes bad as a character, im perfectly happy for him to be more camp than cap. but i do think theyre overdoing the gay jokes, and a lot of them are at his expense (ie the musical theatre jokes), i think itll be hard to create a layered, empathetic arc for him if the writers are too busy making us try to laugh at him.

relationships - i didnt enjoy the argument between sam and jay, i think thats not a good way to frame a caring couple (at least not from the outset) tho im pleased at how jay came around at the end. they dont feel on the same wavelength but im happy to give that time. i did NOT like petes comments about carol, why did they have to make him dislike her? i feel like its a very cheap and overplayed joke

pace - i feel like they jumped into the story too quickly, we didnt get as much context establishment prior to the start of the plot. its supposed to exist separately to the bbc version but it didnt take the time to set it up for a newcomer audience which feels a little odd. it sort of presumes you know the deal already

alright those are my major points, ive got a couple of tiny complaints:

- a couple of times it felt like they were going to address important aspects of history and colonisation but then they backed out, i think they should either commit or not, because edging a conversation does nothing productive

- the trevor nudity joke just felt a little crude and out of place, i dont think it was necessary

- i like thorfinn but it sounds like hes doing a bad impression of chris hemsworths thor, which is already a bad impression (sorry chris hemsworth), idk why hes doing a weird english accent instead of a Scandinavian one

- sam was just a little too quick to adapt to the ghosts, its a major life event and she accepted it very suddenly

overall its fairly decent. i think the cast and crew enjoyed making it but it doesnt have the love put into that our beloved bbc ghosts possesses; tho that might develop over time as the cast gets to know eachother. its not really my preferred sense of humour, but i enjoyed it enough to keep watching. and at the end of the day this version isnt a show for me and thats ok, other people should get to enjoy it.

i dont think anyone owes it to the idiots to watch and/or enjoy it, they really have no creative input. just because they approved the use of the idea doesnt mean theyre an active part of this version, so if you dont wanna watch it isnt a slight against them. tho i presume they get royalties or something so if you wanna watch to help them get more then go for it.

please feel free to discuss in the comments im open to all opinions so long as youre respectful

#cbs ghosts #tbh at least its better than the horrible histories reboot #i think its important to keep the tags separate if we arent discussing both #six idiots #cbs #rose mciver #utkarsh ambudkar #richie moriarty #brandon scott jones #roman zaragoza #asher grodman #danielle pinnock #sheila carrasco #rebecca wisocky #cbs ghosts spoilers

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imjustwritingg · 3 years

Text

maybe it was fate: chapter 3

Thank you to each and every one of you for showing your love for this fic. I'm so glad it's being enjoyed. Your comments and messages make me smile so big, and I can't thank you enough for reading. Enjoy the chapter and I'll see you again soon!

Also on AO3 and FFNet!

It’s another night of tossing and turning, falling asleep too late, and when Hailey wakes up the next morning and looks at the time she curses to herself. Her alarm was set to go off thirty minutes before, but she had slept through it and has to be at the district in another thirty. Even with a three and a half year old and having a demanding job that leaves her on call almost daily and Vanessa being in college, Hailey has never been late to work.

She pulls herself out of bed, cursing to herself again when she realizes she doesn’t have time to shower, and quickly ties her hair up into a ponytail and dresses for the day all. She clips her badge, holsters her gun and pockets her phone like she does every day and trudges downstairs.

The lack of sleep and mental exhaustion over the last couple days has her yawning as she enters the kitchen, but the sight she sees makes her smile and immediately puts her at ease.

“Hi mama!”

She’s greeted with a toothy grin from her daughter and Vanessa smiles over at her as well from her place in front of the coffee machine. Hailey makes her way over to the little girl, who can just barely see over the countertop from a stool at the island, and kisses the top of her head before leaning down next to her.

Avery Charlotte Upton was the light of Hailey’s life and most days, the only light. She had been completely unexpected at a time when Hailey couldn’t say which way was up and which was down. She didn’t like to think about where she might have ended up if it hadn’t been for the arrival of the blonde haired, blue eyed mini version of herself.

“Morning baby. How’d you sleep?” Hailey asks as she reaches a hand out and runs her fingers through her daughter’s curls.

“Good. Aunt Nessie made me Eggo’s for breakfast!”

“She did? Lucky you. They good?”

Avery nods and holds out her fork towards Hailey. “Want a bite?”

Hailey smiles and shakes her head. “No thank you, you finish ‘em. They look yummy though.”

Her daughter goes back to eating her breakfast and Hailey stands up straight as Vanessa steps towards her and hands her a steaming mug of what she assumes is coffee.

“Morning sunshine,” Vanessa says to her with a smile still splayed on her face.

“Thank you,” Hailey says gratefully. “And good morning.”

“You didn’t eat last night,” Vanessa says, eyeing the blonde.

Hailey shakes her head. “Wasn’t too hungry after our conversation.”

Vanessa nods, a curious look on her face. “And you overslept this morning.”

Hailey nods in confirmation even though it wasn’t a question and takes a sip from her mug.

“You never oversleep,” Vanessa comments.

“Haven’t been sleeping well,” she says.

“Insomnia again?”

Hailey shrugs. “Not so much again. Don’t think it ever really left to be honest.”

“You should call Dr. Block.”

Hailey nearly winces at the mention of her therapist. A woman who she hasn’t spoken to since Avery was just about a year old. A woman who she thought she wouldn’t have to see again after convincing herself she was fine. That she was better. That she had moved on.

“Maybe, I don’t know,” Hailey tells her friend.

“Hailey – “

“Not now Vanessa.”

Her tone immediately quiets the brunette who lets out a sigh in concerning disagreement, but nods her head regardless.

“It’s almost eight,” Vanessa says as she deposits her own mug in the sink. “I gotta get Ave to daycare.”

Hailey nods and glances at the time on the microwave as she drops her own cup in the sink. “I gotta go too. I’ll walk out with you guys.”

Hailey makes her way back over to her daughter who sticks her last forkful of waffle into her mouth.

“We gotta go baby,” Hailey tells her. “Can you get your shoes on by yourself?”

The little girl nods back and Hailey helps her down from the stool while Vanessa grabs the dishes to put them in the dishwasher.

It’s eight on the dot when the three of them walk out the door, Hailey holding Avery’s hand in her own and Vanessa walking ahead of them to the driver’s side door of her sedan.

“Have a good day Ave. If I’m home early enough maybe we’ll do pizza for dinner okay?” Hailey says to the little girl as she opens the back passenger door.

“I love pizza,” Avery says as she climbs into her car seat.

Hailey smiles as she gets settled and then buckles her in. “I know you do. And I love you.”

“Love you mama. Are you gonna get the bad guys?”

“I’m gonna try,” Hailey tells her with another smile before kissing the top of her head.

“I’ll text you later if the day goes late, V. Drive safe,” Hailey says to her friend through the backseat.

The brunette turns and smiles back with a nod. “Always do. See ya later.”

Hailey closes the door and smiles as Avery waves a hand at her through the window. She waves back and watches as Vanessa pulls out of the driveway and disappears down the street. She reaches for her phone and groans. She’s definitely gonna be late, but mornings with her favorite person will never not be worth it.

When she arrives at the district fifteen minutes later than usual, Hailey’s not surprised to find her partner at his desk, but she sighs in relief when she sees the door to their Sergeant’s office is closed and the light is turned off. Jay catches her eye as she enters the bullpen and heads for her own desk across from his, pulling off her jacket on the way.

“Good morning,” Jay says to her with a smile before nodding down.

She follows his line of sight and her eyes land on a to-go cup of coffee sitting next to her keyboard. She picks up the cup and smiles back at him as she sits down in her chair.

“Thanks for this,” she says, tipping the cup toward him slightly before taking a sip.

“Rough start?” He asks.

Hailey shrugs, taking another sip before she sets the cup down and powers up her computer. “Sort of.”

She sees his eyebrows shoot upward and holds back the eye roll she wants to unleash. She should have known he wouldn’t accept her answer.

“I got here before you,” he comments then when she doesn’t say anything more.

“So?”

“So,” he draws out, leaning back in his chair. “You’re always the first one here. You’re never late.”

Hailey leans back in her own chair and lifts an arm to gesture around the nearly empty bullpen. “In case you didn’t notice, we’re the only ones here. Sarge isn’t even here yet. I think that counts for being early, or at least on time.”

He ignores the slight bite in her voice and holds up his hands in surrender as the sound of footsteps echoes from the stairwell.

“Speak of the devil,” Jay mutters as he nods to their Sergeant coming up the stairs.

Voight nods at the pair of them as he passes their desks, muttering a quiet morning greeting before disappearing into his office. The rest of the team trails in one after the other a few minutes later and they all fall into mindless small talk as they begin their shift.

It’s looking to be a slow day and nothing pops off that requires the help of Chicago’s elite Intelligence unit so the team spends most of the morning digging through files and updating CI records and finishing up leftover paperwork.

Hailey has long since finished the coffee her partner had gifted her upon her arrival and has gone through another after Kim and Adam go on a Dunkin’ run a little after ten. She’s been yawning on and off, unable to curb the exhaustion seeping through her body, and ignores the concerned looks Jay throws her way all morning.

By half past eleven she’s trekking to the break room for another cup and wondering just how long a person can go on such little sleep. She gets the coffee machine ready, presses the brew button, and waits as the old thing whirs to life.

She stands in front of the sink, leaning forward with her arms outstretched and hands resting against the edge of the countertop. She rests her weight on her arms and drops her head slightly, trying to fight off the sudden urge to close her eyes. She remembers her earlier conversation with Vanessa and debates on whether or not she should call Dr. Block after all.

The lack of sleep and the onslaught of memories over the last few days has left her in a whirlwind, and she’s not too sure how to pull herself out of it. There’s a moment where she can’t help thinking if it’s her body’s own warped way of protecting her or preparing her. And before she can stop it, she’s getting sucked back up into the chaos and the pain, and remembering another moment that sent her spiraling.

It’s been four days since she sent him away and he hasn’t returned. She’s not sure if she should be annoyed or impressed by his ability to be so stubborn, but she settles on annoyance simply for the fact that she misses him and they haven’t gone this long without some sort of communication. She’s just about to reach for her phone on the tray table next to her hospital bed when there’s a knock on the door. She smiles automatically - they’ve always been on some weird synced up wavelength, but when the door opens and it’s not his face she sees, her smile falters.

“Rafferty,” she greets, still with a smile, even though it’s clearly not her undercover supervisor she was expecting to see.

She thinks he knows this by the look on his face. It’s a look she can’t quite place as he enters her room and shuffles towards her with his hands stuffed in his coat pockets.

“Hi Hailey. How are you doing? Feeling better?” He asks her.

“For the most part. I can use both my eyes now. Which is good because I can clearly see you don’t look like you came all the way here to ask me how I’m feeling when a phone call would have done just fine,” she tells him with a smirk now.

He attempts to offer a smile at her candor, but it doesn’t quite stretch over his face and she notices.

“What’s up?” Hailey asks.

He takes another step towards her so he’s right next to her bed and she watches as he opens his mouth to speak, but closes it. And then he does it again twice more as he struggles to find his words.

“Jeff?”

“Hailey, honey.”

It’s his dad voice that he uses and she is immediately on edge. She’s known the man since she graduated from the academy and not once has he ever used that term of endearment, or any others that she can recall.

“What’s wrong?” She asks as her heart begins to race.

One beat, two, three, and then...

“Garrett’s missing.”

Two words is all it takes and it feels as though her chest is about to cave in on itself. Her hands begin to tremble and she can already feel tears burning at the corners of her eyes.

“M-missing? What...what do you mean missing? He...he was just here four days ago, what?”

The older man shakes his head, a sullen look on his face. “I’ve been trying to reach him. A few of us have and we pinged his phone. We found his phone, but we didn’t find him.”

“Maybe he lost it or it was stolen or - “

She tries to think of any possible explanation, but Rafferty shakes his head again.

“Your Sergeant and I went to his apartment, Hailey. It was trashed. There was blood, a significant amount of blood. Hailey - “

She shakes her head and the dam breaks as the tears she’s been holding back trail down her cheeks and sorrowing sobs wrack through her. “No. No, he’s not - he can’t - he...he was just here. He was just here. You have to find him. You have to find him, Jeff. Please.”

Her entire body shakes as she continues to sob uncontrollably and the man leans forward to wrap his arms around her shoulders, ignoring the way she flinches at his touch. She feels a hand on the back of her head, shushing her and comforting her as if she were a child.

“I’m sorry,” she hears him whisper. “I’m so sorry, Hailey.”

“Hailey?”

Her mind drifts back to the break room and she feels a hand on her shoulder. She jumps out of near habit and instinct, one of her arms flailing out and knocking into a bottle of dish soap that sends it toppling into the sink. She looks up and sees Jay staring at her, eyes wide and full of concern.

“Hailey?” He asks again carefully.

“Yeah?” She croaks out.

“Are you okay?”

His hand is still on her shoulder and she flinches again slightly when he gives it a light squeeze. She shrugs off his hand, ignoring the look of hurt that flashes over his face, and reaches for the soap with shaking hands to stand it upright next to the sink.

“I’m fine,” Hailey tells him. She glances at the coffee machine, sees the full pot, and begins busying herself with pouring a cup for herself.

She catches her partner shaking his head out of the corner of her eye and then he steps towards her. They’re standing side by side now in front of the counter, almost too close for Hailey’s liking, and she wonders for a moment if he can hear just how hard and fast her heart is beating.

“No, you’re not. What’s going on with you?” He asks again.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Really?” He scoffs as he leans closer to her and lowers his voice. “You spaced out again like you did yesterday in the truck. And that’s what, your third cup today? Fourth?”

“So now you’re the coffee police?” She bites back as she looks over at him.

“Hailey, come on. It’s me. Talk to me.”

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind, okay? I haven’t been sleeping well,” she tells him. It’s the vaguest answer she can think to say even though it’s honest and she hopes he’ll accept it and move on, but it’s Jay and he doesn’t.

“Whatever it is, maybe I can help. If you let me,” he offers.

She sighs and shakes her head. “I don’t need help. Just leave it, okay? Let it go.”

He stares her down, but she’s just as stubborn as he is, and she stares back with a look in her eyes that has him swallowing hard and nodding his head in defeat.

“You want a cup?” Hailey asks pointing to the pot.

“No, I’m good,” he tells her before turning and heading for the door.

She ignores the heavy sigh of defeat and disappointment she hears from him as he leaves the room and lets out one of her own. If she can’t even tell him about her nightmares and memories, how the hell would she be able to tell him about Avery?

The day goes on and the few times Hailey glances up from her computer she catches Jay looking away from her as if he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Normally she’d find it to be annoying, his hovering and keeping a close eye on her, but the more she mulls it over throughout the day the more she thinks that it’s almost nice having someone worrying about her who isn’t Vanessa.

He keeps his space though, only talking about work related things, except for when he asks her if she wants her usual from Greek Islands for lunch. It’s the first time she smiles since earlier that morning with her daughter and she gives him a nod, and then he’s gone. When he returns with their food, she scarfs it down quickly, only realizing then that she hasn’t eaten since the day before when she munched on a granola bar in his truck.

It’s moments like these where she’s grateful to have him as her partner. Because their morning started off rocky and she hadn’t been the nicest to him, but here he is, kind and taking care of her as if she hadn’t nearly bitten his head off earlier in the break room. She wonders for a moment if she deserves his kindness and is hit with a twinge of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She tries to tell herself to enjoy it while it lasts because he’s probably gonna hate her when he finds out the things she’s been hiding. Her personal life is no one’s business, she knows this, but she’s a cop in Chicago on one of the most elite teams in the city. Most people don’t hide the existence of a child from their co-workers, but then again Hailey isn’t most people and her past is a scary one.

Things continue at a snail’s pace after lunch and through the afternoon, and Hailey sends a text message to Vanessa to tell her she should be home at a reasonable hour. By six that night, Voight tells them all to clear out and go home and no one needs to be told twice. They all pack up and Hailey hears Adam and Kevin mention Molly’s bar. She knows what’s coming next.

“Upton! Molly’s tonight. You in?”

Hailey turns to face Adam as she slips on her jacket and shakes her head. “Nah, not tonight.”

“You sure Hailey? Adam just said he got first round and that’s like a once in a century offer right there,” Kevin chimes in.

She smiles because she knows it’s true, but she shakes her head again. “I’m sure. Have fun and I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Hailey turns back to her desk, making sure her computer is off, and notices the empty one across from her. She doesn’t know when Jay snuck out, but a small part of her is glad he’s already gone so that she doesn’t have to look at his worrying eyes any longer or feel the guilt rise up in her again. She’s not sure how much more of it she can take.

She says a final goodbye to the guys and Kim for the night, and then heads for the back stairwell. She makes her way outside and as she’s crossing the parking lot she hears him calling her name. She stops in the middle of the lot and turns to see Jay walking towards her with a shy smile on his face and his hands in his pockets.

“Thought you left already,” Hailey says in greeting.

“Nah, in the locker room,” he tells her.

She nods once in realization and then tilts her head up at him. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for this morning. I didn’t mean to cross a line with you today and I think I might have. You’re a grown woman and you can take care of yourself. I was just worried about you. I still kinda am.”

She shakes her head at him. “I should be the one apologizing to you Jay. You were just being a good partner. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like I did and I’m sorry.”

He lifts a hand, waving her off. “Water under the bridge. Besides, we may be partners, but I also like to think we’re friends too.”

“We are friends and I wanna tell you what’s going on, but I’m just – “

He shakes his head then. “No, I get it. I’ve been there. The hard things are never easy to talk about.”

“Yeah,” she whispers.

There’s a few beats of silence that pass between them as they look at one another. He has that look in his eyes again, the kind, but concerned one. And maybe he always has it with her, only uses it with her, but she’s never really noticed it until today. It makes her heartbeat pick up just a tiny fraction quicker and makes her almost nervous.

She’s ready to say goodnight and go home to see her girl, but then he takes a step closer to her, and she realizes he has more to say.

“Ya know, it wasn’t too long ago that I was going through it and really struggling with things, but it was you that pulled me out of the rabbit hole I fell into.” His voice is gruff and laced with more emotion than she thinks she has ever heard from him before. He keeps his eyes on her even when she breaks their contact and looks down at her feet.

“Just know that I’m here for you Hailey. Whenever you wanna talk. If you need anything. Okay?”

His words make her look back up at him and he’s quick to notice the slight glistening in her eyes. He knows there is something she’s not telling him and it makes his chest ache in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time.

“Are you uh, you going to Molly’s?” He asks her then and she’s grateful once again for him knowing her well enough to change the topic of conversation.

She shakes her head. “Not tonight. You?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

She nods and there’s another beat of silence before she lifts an arm and points a thumb over her shoulder. “I’m gonna head out. You should go to Molly’s. Apparently Adam is buying the first round.”

His eyes widen in surprise. “He must not be feeling well then because that never happens.”

She lets out a short laugh and nods her head again. She’s not sure when the air changed between them, but it feels awkward now for some reason she cannot place and she just wants to go home.

And then as if he can read her mind he smiles at her and nods his head to the truck parked a few spots down in the lot. “I’ll see ya tomorrow. Have a good night Hailey.”

“You too,” she tells him and then he’s walking away and she lets out a quiet sigh of relief, but the twinge of guilt stabs at her again and she’s left thinking about it as she drives out of the parking lot.

When Hailey gets home and walks through the front door, she’s hit with the force of her three foot tall mini-me wrapping her arms around one of her legs.

“Mama! You’re home!”

“I’m home!” Hailey says matching her daughter’s excitement and bending down to lift Avery into her arms. She settles the little girl on her right hip and makes her way into the kitchen where Vanessa sits at the island with a book in her hands.

“She was so excited when she saw your car pull in the driveway,” the brunette says with a smile.

Hailey smiles back at her friend and then turns her head to look at Avery in her arms. “Is that right? You happy to see me?”

Avery shakes her head up and down quickly, and then drops it against Hailey’s shoulder. She leans her head against her daughter’s and squeezes her little body against her side.

“Did you have a good day Ave?”

“Yeah. We did music today and I got to use the tang – um, Auntie what was it again?”

“The tambourine,” Vanessa assists.

“Yeah, that thing! It was loud mama, but it was a lotta fun,” Avery tells Hailey who just beams down at the girl in her arms and then brushes her daughter’s nose with her own.

“I’m glad you had such a fun day baby. You ready for pizza?” Hailey asks.

“Yeah!” Avery says excitedly.

“Already ordered it. Should be here in about a half hour,” Vanessa tells her.

Hailey nods and looks back at Avery. “How ‘bout we give you a quick bath and get you into some pj’s? By the time we’re done the pizza should be here.”

Avery gives her mother a nod of her head and Hailey carries her girl up the stairs while Vanessa goes back to her book, letting the mother and daughter have their time together.

They come back down almost a half hour later, Avery in her mother’s arms again. The doorbell rings not a moment after they re-enter the kitchen and Vanessa smiles, still seated at the island with a book in front of her.

“Perfect timing. I amaze myself sometimes,” she says.

Hailey shakes her head in amusement and sets Avery down on the floor.

“Guess that’s the pizza little lady. Go help Auntie with the plates. We can eat out in the living room tonight and watch a movie. How’s that sound?”

“Yay!” Avery squeals and runs over to Vanessa, grabbing one of her hands and trying to pull the woman to her feet.

“Did you pay over the phone or do I need cash?” Hailey asks as she heads for the door.

“Over the phone, just need a tip!” Vanessa tells her as the blonde disappears around the corner.

“I got it!” Hailey calls back as she grabs her wallet from her jacket in the entryway. She swings the door open and takes a step back on instinct, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Jay,” she breathes out.

Her partner is standing on her doorstep, a shy smile on his face, and a six pack in hand.

“Hey,” he says.

“You’re not the pizza guy,” Hailey says as if it’s not obvious.

She quickly remembers where they are and what he doesn’t know, and inserts her body between the wall of the door-jam and the opening of the door as casually as she can. She glances over her shoulder for a split second and then looks back at her partner.

“Not the pizza guy, but I did bring beer,” Jay tells her nodding down to his hand.

“I see that, um, what – “

“What am I doing here, right?” He says and she nods. “I probably should have called, but I knew you’d just tell me you were fine and you’d blow me off. I figured you needed a friend right now. And I’d much rather drink with you than Adam, so here I am.”

He watches as she swallows nervously and when she glances over her shoulder again he notices.

“Jay, um, I – “

A look of realization crosses his face and he lets out a chuckle. “Oh man. You totally have company right now and I am definitely ruining it. I’m so sorry.”

Hailey shakes her head quickly. “No, that’s not, um, I don’t - ugh. Damn it. Um – “

“Someone order a pizza?”

The pair of partners look over to see a man in a uniform standing in her driveway with an insulated bag in his hands.

“Uh, yeah, me,” Hailey says with a wave of her hand.

The man makes his way towards her, pulling out a boxed pie from the bag, and then hands it to her. She gives him a quick smile as she takes it, and hands him a twenty dollar bill.

“Keep it,” Hailey tells him.

The delivery guy smiles back, thanks her quickly, and then he’s gone, and Hailey’s left alone with her partner again. Her heart pounds in her ears, hands nearly shaking, and she swallows nervously again as she tries to think of what to say to Jay as she looks at him from the doorway.

But then she feels little hands tugging on the hem of her shirt and the door is being pulled open. Avery wiggles in against her side and stands next to her in the open doorway.

“Is the pizza here?” She asks excitedly, having no idea of what her little self has just walked into.

Jay’s eyes land on the little girl immediately, widening in confusion and surprise at seeing a child he most certainly wasn’t expecting. The shock doesn’t last long as Hailey can tell the wheels are turning in his head and he begins to connect the dots. He glances back and forth between Avery and Hailey, and the look on his face tells her he’s figured it out. There’s only one other person he’s seen with those same bouncing blonde curls and bright blue eyes.

His eyes land back on Hailey and they stay there as she leans down and hands the pizza to her daughter.

“Can you please bring this to Auntie? It’s pretty warm on the bottom still, so hold the sides okay?”

Avery nods and takes the pizza box from her mother before doing as she’s asked and disappears into the kitchen.

When Hailey stands upright and looks back at her partner, his confusion filled eyes are still on her and asking a million silent questions. She watches as he lets out a breath he hadn’t even realized he had been holding.

“I’m guessing you’re not moon-lighting as a babysitter,” Jay says knowingly.

Hailey shakes her head at him slowly, ignoring the burning of tears in the corners of her eyes, and then takes a quick deep breath as she looks him in the eyes.

“She’s my daughter.”

#upstead #upstead fic #hailey upton #jay halstead #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #chicago pd #cpd fic #upstead fanfiction

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humanuser0613 · 3 years

Text

Touching on Matching: A discussion potential

Positing a hypothesis: when the members match accidentally they draw attention to it and provide an explanation.

Examining the evidence:

Here is a post from Namjoon and Yoongi:

Fans had been talking for some time about their love for FG gear and here they showed up in the same shirt and called it an "interesting" picture. They drew attention to it so the fans would stop joking about them all sharing the same clothes (which we know they already do anyway...and that they stalk stan Twitter 👀).

J-Hope posted:

Hobi posted that he and JM wore the same outfit. He was excited to be on the same wavelength as a team member a year after their debut. He did not have a picture included.

We also have examples of members matching during schedule:

One exception I would like to point out is that for the BE album the members gave direction for what they wanted for the photos and the music video and we had Jikook in a directly matching outfit and in pj's marketed as "Couple's".

Is there a difference for Jikook?

Jikook have drawn attention before, purposely posting on Valentine's Day with a laughing face. Does this mean that they matched accidentally (on a couple's holiday)? No explanation was given...

Here's the valentine's day post:

In the post JK was doing a sort of silly dance. And it was unexpected (a nice surprise for ARMY) for him to appear in frame since the video just started with JM.

Another time JK and JM drew attention to matching rings at 4th Muster. JK put his arm around JM and JM brought his hands up to his mic...which brought the rings in close proximity.

The mic was attached to the opposite side of the hand with the ring, but both hands were brought up to the mic. Did JK bump the mic on the ear when he put his arm around JM's shoulders??? So here is a picture of the same ring on both men on the 4th finger. Of note: in nearly every culture matching rings on the same 4th finger of two people does indicate some sort of commitment.

(They just look so happy in this picture. 🥰 I don't have the 4th muster DVDs and would love to read on someone's take about what happened before and after this moment. Was it a moment where they normally interacted during that song? Did their smiles get bigger? Was anything going on during this particular day?)

Here's a link for what it might mean in Korea. https://www.koreaboo.com/stories/meaning-behind-placement-couple-rings/

Another time we see them matching during schedule, but I think this is sponsored gear. (Correct me if I'm wrong 🤷‍♀️)

We have times where they match outside of schedule and do not draw attention to it themselves. We wouldn't know this happened if not for Big Hit...

Matching pants (note: the dance practice has JK in different pants and he's the only member to have a different article of clothing on between the practice and this picture.) We don't know why he would put on matching pants before or after the practice when he had a perfectly decent pair already. Was this picture unexpected?

In Mastermind gear as they're practicing.

Please don't forget about the Niagara Falls jean shirt matching as well - when Namjoon asked if they were a couple and sounded like he was playing it off, likely because the public would be viewing the footage. It was kinda an explanation...without a real explanation for why they were matching.

Dalloga has a post here 👇 https://dalloga.tumblr.com/post/637068856096145408/i-gotta-ask-about-festa-2020-what-is-your

Now those are the instances and what I saw was other members joking about matching, that matching is expected during schedules, but that Jikook match more often casually as well as (recently) during schedules. I haven't seen them joke about it or play it off like the other members. I have to add on that I'm not sure we've seen the other members match often enough to really say we've got good data here...and maybe that says something as well; we don't even get them accidentally matching behind the scenes, or during casual (meaning not performance or sponsored gear) scheduled events.

I also asked a friend (I'm not relying strictly on koreaboo articles here 😒) who is married to a native Korean man in South Korea if male friends matching is something done purposely or with frequency and the answer was, "no". (This is one man's experience in a country with 51.2 million people so...🧂liberally)

Skinship ✅

Matching 🙅‍♂️

https://www.maleq.org/gay-south-korea/ (only 1 person's, non-native, experience in SK...salt liberally)

https://theculturetrip.com/asia/south-korea/articles/9-things-you-should-know-about-dating-in-korea/

https://www.90daykorean.com/dating-in-korea/

https://gogohanguk.com/en/blog/korean-couple-culture/

I've provided additional links, but you can do your own research.

If you've got something else to add let me know. And I apologize for my ramblings.

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 4 years

Text

based on this hilarious post, by @profoundinqq! and written for @mystybloo.

sam looks at his brother, a fast-growing-familiar eye crinkling smile making him look perfectly content as he leans on cas, relaxing his weight against him with an arm wrapped around cas's shoulders. they're all drinking — have been a while, but that's not where dean's smile stems from, and sam knows that. he looks carefree, younger, and so happy, and it's a constant sam's been noticing a while now, though tonight, and lately, it just seems normal.

(that's the thing. it is.)

sometimes sam wonders how it all began.

he's obviously ecstatic it did - honestly, he could think forever, and not come up with two individuals more deserving of such profound happiness, as dean or cas. or the love, abound when they're together, so incredibly obvious, and somehow, almost hope-kindling in a ways.

but it doesn't stop him wondering, right now, at this moment, how they finally ended up taking the leap. facing the music, falling into each other's arms, ending their ridiculous, decade-long dance of pining, confessing.

dean's never volunteered the information, and sam's never felt it urgent enough (or himself, earnest enough) to ask cas - but oh, it's probably been buried in the back of his mind for long, bundled with all the other pleasanter questions about life and living it — and today, it leaps to the front when the empty, green bottle spinning ambitiously under everyone's pointed stares, ends up stuttering to a pause, pointed at his brother.

they're playing truth or dare - a significant percentage of their adopted family present, although only a few remaining cause it's past midnight. they're sitting on the floor in a circle, all varying degrees of drunk - and sam winchester seizes his chance.

"truth or dare, dean."

dean doesn't really hesitate, which is commendable; he just disentangles himself from being draped over his boyfriend, and takes another swig from his bottle. "truth."

"how did you and cas -" sam pauses. his eyes shift to cas, and the angel faintly smiles back.

"- finally grow a pair?" gabriel finishes for him prematurely, leading to sam glaring in his general direction, because it's a little hard to know his exact coordinates at sam's current levels of inebriation.

"we haven't been growing anything." cas says, a hint of humor in his squint but that's about it. "or pairs of things."

"yeah, sammy." dean agrees, though his is not a wooden face. he doesn't pretend to not understand what sam - or well, gabriel, is going for. "me and cas? we're old news."

"you're a blank page." sam frowns, prissy and self-righteous, and somehow pulling off an annoyed little brother vibe on top of that. fuck that, he's the same distance from forty as dean, just the less prone-to-forgetting-the-reasons-he-enters-a-room side. "with a question mark at the end of the headline."

"how did you end up together?"

it's not his best comeback, but dean rolls his eyes — admission of defeat — with no real passion in the practiced habit. "what do you want to know?"

cas looks at dean with a substantial amount of surprise.

"he gave me a pick-me-up, back in hell." dean throws back, before realizing he's earned eye rolls from almost everyone in the room. sam takes it a step ahead, slipping into bitchface territory, as if to remind dean that he gets to ask these questions now - they're over lying about breaking the world to each other, at this point. they have to be.

another eyeroll, and then dean sighs.

"goddamn saps, all of you." he looks accusingly around the room, meeting eileen, charlie and gabriel's twinkling eyes. "fine. what version you want?"

"well, the long -"

"trick question. there's only one." dean cuts him off, with an age-old rendition of a shit-eating grin. if sam can spend his entire life and then some, perfecting the bitchface, at least dean's got this. "so, uh. me and cas."

charlie giggles, but shuts up immediately when dean starts speaking.

"guess we were playing truth and dare then as well." dean frowns. "man, for a bunch of badass dudes and ladies who save the world, we sure play a lot of middle-school games in the afterparties."

"i like it." cas defends, and that's that on that, because dean strokes cas's knee with his thumb and a smile, and they stare until the fork in the conversation is forgotten and sam clears his throat impatiently. (it's gabriel's turn to giggle.)

"right. right, yeah." dean swallows. "well, so it landed on me, and cas asked me to choose -"

"he dared you to kiss him!" charlie guesses, or actually, declares, beaming.

"no, katherine heigl, this isn't a chickflick."

"if you went for katherine heigl, you should've gone for romcom." gabriel inputs, almost serious for a fraction of a second.

"does it matter?" eileen signs, and sam reads her hands out loud absentmindedly, and with enthusiasm.

"dean, would you just say it minus the drama pauses?"

"yeah, instead of being grossly inaccurate in your movie genre references?" gabriel piles on top of it, and charlie nods in sympathy.

"of course you are, but i think i specified your face was." cas points out, and it's the first time he's spoken up, and dean almost blushes for it.

dean pulls a face. "go to hell, i don't have to take this." but he goes on anyway, cause that's dean, isn't it? "just - i chose truth, okay?"

no one breathes for a moment.

"and cas told me i was beautiful."

there's a gasp. probably charlie — but not completely unlikely to be gabriel.

"yeah, 'kay." dean dismisses, though it's mostly directed at the other four (hunter, hunter, nerd, ex-trickster, not necessarily in that order) who've taken to gushing by now. "and that's it. story over. cas messed up, billion year old angel style, and it led me to realize he was the most adorable dork i've ever loved. or like, the only one. ever."

sam, charlie, eileen and gabriel bat their eyelashes in undisguised wonder.

"you're allowed to disperse to your rooms to cry now." dean retorts, and he's about to add more to it considering he's well settled on the wisecrack wavelength, when cas suddenly interrupts.

with an inscrutable, "no."

"no?" dean repeats, eyebrows raised.

there's a speck in cas's eyes, the curve of his lips too whimsical. it's almost un-cas-like, except no, it isn't. doesn't stop dean from staring anyways - eyes falling to the latter's lips, before returning to his eyes.

"dean, i knew how the game worked."

dean frowns.

"i 'messed up' the rules on purpose." and he accompanies it with the fucking air-quotes, so he might sound completely nuts, but it's definitely still him.

"what does that mean?"

there's pin-drop silence.

"you'd call me adorable when i didn't understand aspects of human behavior or games often. and it always made you smile. so at some level, i wanted that, even when i did understand those things. sometimes, i'm compelled to draw the conclusion, i wanted you to think i was adorable." cas pauses, blinks. "that time, it was an added, and wholly unexpected incentive when you decided to give up on trying to explain it to me, and kissed me instead."

"cas -" dean stares at his angel in gap mouthed bewilderment. he doesn't know what he's supposed to feel right now - though it's hard to feel any kind of manipulated, when cas is being this honest about it. alternatively, when it's gotten him the best part of his life. "you lied to me."

"of course i didn't." the bastard has the balls to sound indignant about it. "your face is exquisite."

"stop that." dean swallows, trying to keep himself from getting flustered. "you literally played dumb."

"stating entirely true facts about your bewitching face hardly sets back my intelligence, dean."

a traitor snickers in the background.

dean is officially too drunk to deal with this. he's going to give it more thought tomorrow - that is, if he remembers it at all. right now, what's way more important, is that his boyfriend apparently flirts by pretending to misinterpret rules, and accidentally compliment dean, and that's the most ridiculous thing dean's ever heard, in a life stuffed to the damn brim with ridiculous things.

"you're so fucking weird, cas."

"no, dean. i'm adorable." cas deadpans at him, and dean lets out a high-strung laugh, short, after which he finds himself able to do little else but shake his head fondly. mostly, at the floor, because if he'd been looking at cas, he'd probably also have been kissing him.

"and you agree." sam points out, to dean, and in return, dean snaps up a look pissed off enough for sam to truly feel sated enough by this ordeal, because he shrugs, and eileen sets the bottle spinning again.

nobody protests.

a few chances later, after charlie's rushed off to throw up, and sam and eileen have gone to bed, and gabriel's sort of wandered away at the very least - cas spins the bottle again.

it's just the two of them, so when the bottle points at about forty degrees from straight at dean, they decide to forego asking the lamp in the bottle's true line of questioning, in favor of cas asking dean.

"truth or dare?"

"dare."

"alright, i shall." cas whispers, reaching out to cup dean's face as he kisses him, and pull him closer. and dean goes, obviously not arguing with the concept of cas kissing him, even if he's doing it 'as a dare', in a hilarious, mindboggling, and adorable callback to that time dean realized he was in love with him — because he's a weird ex-angel-who-apparently-understands-humans-now, and also, definitely, the love of his life.

("cas." dean psst's, later in bed, when cas is turned away from him, hugging a pillow with his knees. "truth or dare?" cas groggily turns, "truth." dean breaks into a smile. "will you marry me?" cas freezes for a beat, and then drags dean to himself, kissing him with his eyes closed, still stunned, but no less enthusiastic for it. when they separate, cas's cheeks are wet, and dean feels like he's floating. "you know, sweetheart, we can play the old-fashioned way, and you'd still be the most adorable thing in my life." dean mumbles, kissing cas again, this time on his forehead, and in the same, shared breath, cas breathes out, smiling. "yes.")

#destiel #deancas #destiel crack #destiel fluff #dean winchester #castiel #canon divergence #sam winchester #saileen #charlie bradbury #gabriel #tfw #destiel wedding #truth or dare #bluefirecas #tearsofgrace #rambleoncas #chaoticdean #oh writing my writing

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alphasmoonlit-selfships · 3 years

Note

🍃 🐚 ⭐️

Hello mystery anon! Thank you so much for the ask! I forgot as I was writing that that were asks meant to be answered by me for my F/o, but considering my recent f/o takeover by my dearest Atsushi, he answered a few of the asks too! UwU;

"It is a shared blog between us, Darling," Atsushi commented lightly, resting his chin a top the petite brunette, "I'm sure they won't mind at all!" 🥰

"Well let's just jump right into it, shall we?"

🍃: Do you live together? If not, would you like to? How would you or how do you decorate?

Atsushi: We do live together actually! You can know more about that here in this ask!

Though the second question is new to answer; it was a slow and gradual process to decorate our place after it was entirely cleaned and ready to inhabit. We started with basic things we could afford, the Agency definitely helping us to get a few other things to fill in the space and make it feel more homey. Which we were grateful towards nonetheless!

Even so, I think the decorator between us is Dany, she usually suggests colors and what might fit well with the setting of a certain room in our condo. As well as how the layout should be. Of course, I pitch in my own suggestions that she usually considers and takes full validation of 😄 it definitely helps her figure things out as she often hits a dead end and is left a bit irked when she runs out of ideas 👀

We often buy things at random that might make the condo more homey, be it buying some items for the living room or dining, some plants to make the place more lively, either inside or on the balcony space, or paintings and frames. Which might I add, we have hung some pieces we worked on together!

It was some quality time building when we painted and made a messy, yet nice piece done! I may not be much of an artist, but Dany does know how to boost someone’s confidence when it comes to the subject U///w///U she is very sweet, comforting and patient.

But yeah! We are a bit of a mix of traditional, minimalist, and modern through the home!

🐚: Which one of you brings the most physical or emotional energy to the relationship? Are there ever times where it’s overwhelming to the other, or are you pretty evenly matched?

Atsushi: I think Dany and I have shared a decent amount of offering each other that physical and emotional and mental energy to our relationship. It varies a lot with what we experience individually, but overall it is evenly match. We have a deep understanding of one another and share a few similarities when it comes to how we think and want to act on our emotions and affections.

I think Dany gives more of the physical energy as she isn’t one to always put things into words as it sounds in her mind. Her affection is warm, sweet, comforting, it’s soothing and brings out any tension I feel personally after a bad day. She often sings and hums to offer a bit of vocal response, or asks questions for me that give me the door to open if I want to talk about something. She doesn't press instantly and allows space for me to figure out what I would like to say.

I do worry that sometimes I may be a bit overwhelming for her; she is rather emphatic and has the tendency to take other’s emotions that often do drain her later on. It..often leads her to be apathetic when she feels her own bad days.

Which leads to the opposite of me, she is more withdrawn from speaking about her struggles and worries. Always giving a lot of herself to me or others that she forgets about herself. That’s where I have slowly began to draw her out of that mindset, I can understand where she comes from in that regard and offer what she usually craves the most; To be listened without being interrupted or bringing up an assumption she hasn’t stated. She use to apologize,,, frequently for how she just kept rambling about some feelings and teared up out of emotion. She still does occasionally, but not as often as before.

We have been through a lot, uncovering old wounds and healing together. Giving each other that reassurance and validation we both crave more than anything. I think that’s a great positive to our relationship, is how well we share a wavelength in our emotions and how we naturally crave physical bliss from each other. It’s a steady and comforting recovery to just cuddle in bed together after a draining day, for either or both of us.

On a positive note, we are very affectionate and sweet together, so a lot of other people tend to say. Sometimes saying how we are wholesome, or adorable together. It is nice and validating to hear. I tend to be more loving in public when given the chance, Dany isn't much into PDA as she doesn't like so many eyes on her. But has gradually learned to not care too much on it. She has gotten more confident in that regard 🥰 especially with surprise kisses U///w///U

I think the first time she ever kisses me a bit...passionately in public was when someone was apparently flirting with me? I didn't have a clue about it if I have to be honest 😅 and I do think her wolf ability may have given her that forward reaction to kiss me. Surprised I was, but not at all opposed to it~ it was so cute to see slowly realize what she did later and how she practically combusted into embarrassment for her forward action. She definitely needed some reassurance and words of encouragement from me 🥰🥰🥰

Needless to say, she is adorable and I love my darling, tiny lover UwU <3

⭐️: Does your FO have any habits that you only noticed after spending a significant amount of time with them? Do they notice any of yours?

Habits eh? Hmm, Atsushi has some peculiar ones that are caused by his tiger ability... I mean so do I, but I'm normally like that since I was a child. 😅 He is like a cat sometimes and it is honestly endearing to witness and very comforting 🥰 he purrs when we cuddle and has these big eyes sometimes when I give him praise and kisses UwU. Sometimes dilated during more... affectionate times~

He also still bares some habits that stem from his time at the orphanage that I never noticed until we started living together. Such as his early sleep and morning wake up schedule. I’m not much of a morning person in the slightest 😅 I can be very irked and tense and need at least an hour to mentally wake myself up as I move about the place. I especially need coffee and some sort of protein with my food to wake me up.

I’m not very lively and may look irritated to a fault 😔 the amount of times I worried mi Tigre at the start because he thought he did something wrong ;;;w;;; of course with time he understood and got use to it and definitely gave me the space to compose myself. He definitely makes it easier to wake up with a few affectionate kisses and preparing breakfast ;;;w;;; I, of course, in the rare times do the same for him, I just have to be up prior to his now 6am wake up 😮‍💨

Hmm.. he also has his bad days, usually when a memory of his past flickers in his mind he kind of shuts down and it leads to nightmares occasionally. They were more frequent earlier on when we moved in together in the dorms and the first few weeks in our new home and have gradually slowed down. But sometimes I would wake in the middle of the night to him gone, immediately picking him out cowering away in a closet. Huddled in a ball and attempting to stifle his tears when I find him..

I was concerned, but not overly as before when he first did this prior to our relationship. Instead I joined him and offered him my comfort to ground him back from his terror and memory. Usually wordless, gentle comfort and letting him cry out all the emotions that twist and pained his heart. Once he calmed a bit, I offered any words of validation and usually pitch the question if he would like to talk about it. Sometimes yes, sometimes no, either or I don’t let up holding him and keeping him steady to present time.

It’s definitely helped a lot, mi pobre tigre… he feels bad sometimes for the disrupt sleep or mental toll it brings me. But I always remind him, gently but stern, that in those moments he is the one that matters and I am not about to abandon him in his time of need.

Maybe it’s because I understand him deeply in that sense, while our lives may not have been the same, we understand the toll our traumatic past takes on us, individually.

Atsushi has definitely been there for me a lot of the time, I have a lot of self doubt and need plenty of reassurance. I’m..overly sensitive too so I don’t like arguing or any rise in anger, it’s hard for me to…really stand up for myself in that regard; hee..to literally not cry because I am trying to make a point…

Ah sorry, about the small downed turn this took; I don’t normally talk about these things. Am trying to get better by talking more about it, especially with mi Tigre who honestly listens when so many … often don’t.

Nonetheless, some more positive, funny/cute habits from the last; Atsushi tends to ramble on about new things he learns and enjoys telling me more about it. I remember he spoke for a whole hour about chameleons, I drew him some cute doodles as he told me more about them. He keeps the image somewhere in his phone. He also rubs his neck or cups his chin a lot when confused, nervous or in deep thought.

He on the other hand has noticed how often I tend to sit on my legs, that I don’t have a single perfect posture no matter where I sit. Could be the most comforting chair or very stiff, hard ones and I still keep my legs up with me. I just can't for the life of me sit still at all, it'd last like less than 5 minutes at most 😅 but he finds it adorable and cute how often I can just curl myself into what looks like an awkward position to others but for me is rather comfy and just how I prefer to sit.

His lap is the most comforting place to sit tho 👀👀

Atsushi: You also have the bad habit of biting your lips, Darling 👀

👀...Noooo... okay yes I do, a lot, like a lot more as of recent,,, And I crack my fingers a lot too...and tap my feet, more so in public out of nervous jitters I think...

Well, that's enough of that~ we greatly appreciate the emoji asks and honestly love doing these kinds of asks 🥺 it gives me so much more of a chance to explore the dynamic and relationship between mi Tigre and I ❤️😍🥰 Leaves me warm and fussy and soft. A melting puddle of silly and foolish love U///w///U...

Please by all mean's don't be shy to send asks or talk with me! I do my best to respond when I can and want to give all my love and support to every self shipper! Till the next asks! Take care!

#bungou stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #atsudany #danielle mika mason #self shipping #self ship community #f/o takeover asks #self ship #tag: we are of the moon and stars my dear #f/o asks

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princesssarcastia · 4 years

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yes, ghosts CAN time travel, actually, don’t be such a Richard, Klaus

titled “frozen time between hearses and caskets” in my fic folder, aka idea #3 from my poll two weeks ago on which Umbrella Academy Season 2 fic I should write. vague vibes also from this poem which I adore; “I AM TIRED OF RE-WRITING TRAGEDY WITHOUT CHANGE. LET THEM LIVE. LET THEM LEARN. LET THEM LOVE.” Because let people grow, goddammit.

this mess to follow is dedicated to @levhach, the only respondent to my poll. I hope you enjoy! also dedicated to Klaus’ genuine kindness and empathy for others in season 1, may it rest in peace.

—————————

“Well, unfortunately, ghosts can’t time travel,” Klaus says, playing at exasperated and put-upon.

“Klaus, don’t be an asshole,” Ben intones from the corner of the room, but Klaus can hear the edge of desperation in his voice.

It’s been years since either of them could even lay eyes on their siblings, let alone speak to them. When Allison appeared at the edge of that pool, it was like heroin; that kind of emotional high could be addictive, if he let it, and he would know. Seeing and being seen are kind of important, apparently.

Nobody ever sees Ben but Klaus.

Except for three years ago, in Vanya’s theater.

Klaus heaves a sigh, letting his shoulders rise and fall. “Oh, fine, you big baby.” He throws up his hands as they take on a distinctly blue hue.

And the whole room…stops.

“Ben,” someone says, or maybe they all say it, and then Diego is in front of their dead teenaged brother and clutching desperately at his stupid leather jacket, and Ben is clutching back and crying.

He sighs again, for real this time, and lets them have this moment. Even Five seems swept up in the emotion of it all, hovering just on the edge of the crowd with his hands stuffed in his pockets and a constipated look on his face.

“So that’s our brother?” Vanya says from right behind him, jesus christ!

“God, we should have put a bell on you,” Klaus says. “Yeah, that’s Ben.”

“Ben,” Vanya draws out his name, like she’s trying it out, and Klaus glances back at her. There’s a hint of some je ne sais quoi, a glimmer of confused grief, in her eyes—like she wants to cry with no idea why, or how.

Vanya, who got teary when they stepped on ants as kids, went berserk and killed the whole world…and then conveniently forgot all about it. Hmm. Klaus has some ideas about that, personally, but he sees no need to share with the class; in his experience, people will remember terrible shit in their own time. Trying to force it will only set her off again.

Plus, he’s not nearly drunk enough for that conversation, even after a morning of margaritas with Allison, who’s turned into a wonderful enabler.

Ben finds him briefly from the center of their little gaggle of siblings, seemingly content with more attention than he’s had in decades.

“I missed you all,” he hears Ben say, and watches their dead brother look at Vanya with grief that isn’t confused at all.

—

They stumble out of Allison’s house, away from her lovely husband—really, Klaus can’t even begin to explain how hard it is to find a partner willing to hide a body for you—and straight into the car Klaus sped over here in. Diego, of course, insists on driving, but Allison is still upset over Raymond and Klaus can’t be bothered, so it works out.

Ben calls shotgun and Klaus automatically pulls Allison into the backseat with him.

“I just,” Allison clears her throat, “Vanya?”

“Again? What are the odds, am I right?” Klaus jibes, and flinches dramatically away from Allison when she elbows him.

“Last time, it was Luther and the rest of you morons that set her off. But none of us have seen her since she left after the dinner from hell, so it couldn’t have been one of us.”

“What is she even doing in the federal building in the first place?” Ben asks.

Klaus hums, “good point, Ben,” and relays it to the others.

He can hear the leather steering wheel creak as Diego tightens his grip. “I don’t—I’m not sure, I was moving pretty quickly to avoid getting caught at Headquarters.”

“But?” Allison prompts when he doesn’t continue.

“But,” Diego’s jaw tightens, “I think she got arrested. By the FBI?”

“The FBI?” Klaus screws up his face. “Who the hell—Allison, did you get her involved with the SJCC in the, what, ten minutes we were all together?”

“No, no I didn’t. But…I mean, someone named Vanya with memory loss in 1963 when the president is in town…” Allison trails off, like the words she emphasized will make some sort of sense when put together.

“They think she’s a communist spy,” Diego says flatly.

“Oh!” Klaus exclaims. “Oh,” he repeats, when that sinks in. “Oh, that—that won’t be good.”

“No, it won’t,” Ben agrees.

Silence fills the car like Agent Orange, and Klaus is just choking on all the implications.

—

His ears haven’t rung like this since helicopters and machine guns and Dave and medic! I need a fucking medic!, but Klaus foists the memory back into the arms of his subconscious because now’s not the time for a panic attack, goddammit.

Allison and Diego are saying something, but he can’t quite hear them; it’s hard to focus with wave after wave of energy flowing into him and into him, into that terrible void he doesn’t like to think about and in fact has spent his whole life drowning out. The energy Vanya is pulsating through the federal building feels like nails on the chalkboard of his soul.

“Question, guys,” he interrupts, “Who are we trying to save Vanya from, again?”

“The FBI,” Diego, Allison, and Ben all say together, and in the same you’re-an-idiot-Klaus tone of voice, too, isn’t that adorable.

Joke’s on them, he’s about to say something relevant. “But if they’re all sucking ceiling right now, why hasn’t she stopped?”

All the bodies scattered about with their eyes burnt out of their skulls is a pretty graphic kind of horrific, even for Klaus, who’s seen pretty much every kind of dead body there is.

Actually…

Klaus waves to get Ben’s attention. The others turn to look at him and Klaus ignores them. “Why aren’t there any ghosts?” He shouts, hands still tight around his ears.

Not Ben, though. He’s just standing there, arms at his sides, like Vanya’s energy isn’t on quite the same wavelength for him as it is for the rest of them. “I don’t,” he frowns, “yeah, that is weird. Can’t you feel that, though?”

Klaus hesitates, then nods back, refusing to explain to Allison and Diego when they make encouraging gestures. There’s no way to articulate it to them, anyway, not in time for them to understand what it means that Vanya can affect his connection with Ben. That Vanya can, apparently, banish the other ghosts, the ones Klaus isn’t anchoring here in the land of the living.

Pressure is building in too-tight air, like a balloon pushed to the brink of bursting. According to Diego, Vanya will defrost the Cold War in another fifteen, maybe twenty minutes or so.

“Can Ben go find out what’s going on with her, then?” Diego shouts at him, and Klaus looks at Ben, who nods and strolls down the hallway more easily than they could, but it feels…weird. Something in his chest tightens, in that same place Vanya’s reaching and Klaus doesn’t like to be aware of it the way he’s forced to be right now.

God, he wants a drink.

It takes almost five minutes for Ben to get there and back, and Klaus feels the blood drain out of his face when he gets a look at Ben’s expression.

“They hooked her up to some kind of generator. Klaus, the readout says it’s up to a thousand volts,” Ben says quickly. “She’s seizing pretty violently; I don’t think she even knows what she’s doing.”

Klaus lets out a blistering string of curses, the kind Sarge would be proud of—come to think of it, Klaus probably learned it from Sarge.

“What, what is it?” Allison shouts, leaning in and trying to look where he’s looking, where Ben stands, intangible and desperate.

“They’re torturing her!” Klaus shouts back.

“So, this is some kind of defense mechanism?” Diego adds his two cents, though Klaus doesn’t think the what of this is really relevant right now.

“We have to go turn it off,” Klaus darts to look at Allison and Diego and then back at Ben. Pressure keeps building in his ears, against his skin, in his brain, in his soul. How the hell are we going to get back there? He’s pretty sure they won’t even be able to stand, let alone walk a hundred and fifty feet. They’ll pop like grapes before they reach the halfway point.

Allison and Diego are shouting something else, now, but it doesn’t matter, because Klaus is looking at Ben and Ben is looking at him and Vanya is reaching that point inside him that anchors Ben, even from all the way back here, and Vanya’s going to blow up this building with them inside it and start World War III and they can’t reach her but Ben can.

Ben can.

He shivers.

Seventeen plus years together means Klaus knows exactly what Ben is thinking, because he’s thinking it, too.

“Are you sure?” He leans into Ben’s space, and Ben crouches down so they’re eye to eye.

“I’m sure,” Ben says easily, like this is easy, god, what a prick.

Something twists in his chest, and he can’t tell if it’s Vanya or his own stupid feelings. “No take-back-sies this time, mein bruder. If we do this—”

“We?” Ben raises his eyebrows and smirks.

“Oh, please, this is at least forty percent me and you know it,” Klaus narrows his eyes petulantly.

His brother shifts weight he doesn’t have back onto his heels, freeing his hands to rise in front of him, palms toward Klaus. “You remember the first time we tried this?”

“We?” Klaus mocks, but takes his own hands off his ears and presses them into Ben’s, letting that peculiar shade of blue envelop both their hands. Not quite visible, not quite tangible, but it’s power. Parts of Klaus flow into Ben like Vanya’s energy waves are crashing into everything around him, twining with the anchor between them until it’s a constant stream Ben can feed off of.

He sucks in a shuddery breath and blows out a shaky one. Allison and Diego are staring at him, wide-eyed, but he keeps ignoring them in favor of Ben.

“Do you think she’ll remember me this time?” Ben asks, smiling at him in that soft way Klaus thought they’d agreed to stop doing years ago. Rude!

Oh, what the hell.

Klaus quirks a real smile at Ben and squeezes his hands. “She’d better.”

—

“I remember everything.”

“Tell Klaus something for me, would you?”

—

fin.

#umbrella academy #fic #fanfic #umbrella academy fanfic #tua fanfiction #season 2 #look i believe klaus is fundamentally the most kind/empathetic of all of them #season 1 shows this well #diego is probably a close second but my main genderless babe klaus is in the lead #also klaus totally knows more about his ghostly powers in season 2 #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #guys that torture scene with vanya was messed up #between that and Klaus' LOVELY session with hazel and cha-cha #there's a nasty habit in this show of not addressing extreme physical and mental trauma #which you know #duh #but also let's explore it in fic for a while #let klaus say goodbye to ben goddamit #even if it's just #in their own snarky special way #let them have a MOMENT jesus fuck #at least a little something more than that weak-ass eye contact #grief #major character death

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captainsjack · 4 years

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There needs to be more Shus h/c: I've been imaging lately Shawn getting into a massive fight with Henry, the kind were his Dad is really out of line and he can't joke his way through it bc he's been hit where it HURTS. Gus is there naturally, and Shus is married in the scenario bc I say so. They have to pull over on the way home bc Shawn actually breaks down despite his best efforts not to. Gus is a good protective husband and does his best to calm him down, but Shawn is QUIET for days after. p1

p2. Henry comes over to apologize and Gus opens the door, seriously considers punching him face, but ultimately lets him in. Henry and Shawn make up as much as they ever do, but Gus refuses to talk to him for months bc he's still furious at him for hurting Shawn that much. Would love to hear you elaborate on this with your own hc and thoughts <3

ok the fact that i’ve written something very similar to this (well at least thought about it) ?? buddy we’re just on the same wavelength here !!

but honestly ?? just what you said is perfect, i don’t even know what to add !!

to be fair, i am a bit sympathetic to henry, so i’m not quite sure exactly what he would say that’s so out of line, but i do like the concept.

i’d definitely say this is within the first season. like shawn’s trying his best to make an effort with his dad, despite everything that’s happened. and it’s mostly because he feels a bit guilty about not inviting henry to the wedding. like shawn and gus got married a bit over a year before s1, and so henry hadn’t moved back yet, and even if he had been in santa barbara at the time, shawn was still pretty sure he wouldn’t have invited him anyways (gus is completely on shawns side and actually hasn’t even spoken to henry since high school, but i digress, that’s a different plot).

anyways, when shawn saw henry for the first time in idk how long, neither of them really mentioned the whole Wedding Ring Thing until henry said something during the dog house scene and they awkwardly talked about it (again, a concept for a different post).

so they both had a bit more sympathy for how their relationship has gone wrong, and both were trying their best to make things better even though it was hard (because missing your sons wedding is a real blow no matter how much you know you’ve fucked up in the past). and so things sort of have changed for the better at least a little bit and shawn thinks that, maybe, just maybe, he can forgive his dad just a bit and things can be civil.

and so when shawn and gus are at henry’s (idk what for) and henry says something, it hits shawn a hell of a lot harder than it would’ve in the past. because he wasn’t expecting it (well, at least not as much). he’d thought they were at least ok for now.

and idk what henry says, but it’s clear to shawn that whatever niceties had been in place the last couple of months had just been a figment of shawn’s imagination. of him trying to cling to a shred of a normal relationship with his father.

it wasn’t something shawn could just laugh off or roll his eyes and make a joke. it stings. a lot. and shawn kind of just flinches and he tries to be subtle about it, but he can’t hide the hurt that flashes across his face.

gus tries to defend shawn right away, once henry says the thing. his body is filled with an amount of hatred he hasn’t felt since he had found out shawn had left town and had known it was all henry’s fault. everything in his body goes tense and he’s unconsciously angling his body in front of shawn, harsh words flying out of his mouth unstoppable.

but shawn kind of just huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. he puts his hands up in a “whatever” gesture, body already turning to the door. “forget it man, let’s just go” he says to gus, and he doesn’t wait for a response before he’s already out the door and halfway to the car.

gus just stands there, watching the door swing shut, before he glares at henry one last time and follows shawn. he makes sure to slam the door extra hard.

shawn’s leaning against the passenger door, his face expressionless, and gus knows shawn well enough to know that there’s nothing he can say to make things right. so gus just carefully looks at him, and shawn’s still staring at the ground, and he unlocks the car and they start driving.

the silence that fills the car is heavy, and it makes gus feel like he can’t breathe. he tries to focus on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel so hard it hurts, but he can’t help but keep glancing over at shawn.

shawn’s resting his head against the window, and his face looks dull and exhausted, and every inch of his body feels like lead. he’s so fucking tired of everything, and no matter how much he tries to stop the dam from breaking, he can’t. it takes too much energy to force everything down, and right here, right now, it’s just him and gus and the dark night road, and so he gives up. the ice around his heart breaks - fully breaks - and for the first time in 10 years, he really truly accepts the fact that his father has always, and will always, hate him.

the sobs lurch out of his chest with an amount of force he hasn’t experienced before, and before he can draw in another shaky breath, the car stops and gus’s arms are around him. and he can’t stop no matter how much he tries, and his chest hurts, and he can’t fucking breathe. he clings onto gus’s shirt so hard his nails dig into his palms through the material.

gus just sits there, half in his seat and half on the console separating him and shawn, and he’s holding shawn to his chest like his life depends on it. he murmurs “it’s okay, you’re okay” and “i’ve got you, i’m right here” and “it’s not your fault, it’s never been your fault” over and over again, in the hopes that something, some string of words, will bring any sort of comfort to his husband.

he doesn’t know how long shawn cries, but it’s long enough that his back starts to hurt and he has to reach over and turn off the car so they don’t waste the battery. shawn’s breaths are still shallow and shaky, but his grip on gus has loosened and gus’s shirt has begun to dry.

“what do you need?” gus asks softly, face pressed into shawn’s hair.

“nothing, just you.” and he can’t get out any more words than that, but he doesn’t really need to. because gus is the only thing he has ever, and will ever, need, especially now.

“okay,” gus whispers, and he holds shawn tighter.

they sit like that, squished in the blueberry on the side of the road, car barely parked, until the stars and moon brighten, the streets grow quiet with the night, and shawns heartbeat slows and his breaths come out more even.

in the following days, gus can count on his two hands the number of words shawn has spoken. gus does the talking for the both of them, and, thankfully, shawn’s at least okay enough to laugh at a few of his jokes. but it’s not the sound gus has grown accustomed to - it’s forced, a bit hollow, and he knows in the bottom of his heart there’s something missing. some part of shawn has broken and he doesn’t know if it can be fixed.

he takes off a few days from work, and they spend their days watching movies, cartoons, cuddling, and playing games (half the words on gus’s metaphorical hands are “uno”). shawn doesn’t mention psych or his dad.

neither does gus. he doesn’t know what to say. what is there to say? “are you okay?” that’s too broad of a question and gus knows shawn isn’t okay. “do you want to talk about it?” gus knows shawn will just shrug and say there’s nothing to talk about.

when shawn’s ready, he’ll bring it up, and gus knows that. he also knows that the only way shawn will be able to move on from this, is if he talks to henry. gus knows there’s not much damage control he can do unless henry is there, present in the conversation.

that’s the only reason why gus doesn’t just punch him in the face and slam the door when one sunday morning, he finds henry on the other side of the dark oak doorway.

shawn is in the shower and gus can hear the water turn off as he meets henry’s eyes with a tired glare, and so gus steps out into the hallway with him and closes the door.

“what?” he asks stiffly. and all of a sudden he’s 18 again, in front of the man who he’s just told he hated.

“can i talk to him?” henry quirks an eyebrow up, shifting in anticipation of entering their apartment.

gus defensively steps backward, hand blocking the doorknob. “why?” he asks.

henry sighs. “gus...”

gus’s lips are pressed in a tight line and he doesn’t respond.

henry sighs again. “look, i- i was wrong, okay? can you just let me apologize to him?”

“what, so you can say you’re sorry and then just do it again two days from now? no thanks,” he snaps.

henry frowns and opens his mouth to respond, but gus beats him to it.

“no, look. i know how this works okay? you’re an ass, shawn’s upset, you barely apologize, and shawn works like hell to find some ounce of forgiveness so he doesn’t have to deal with this feeling anymore. and then it happens again. and again. and i’m not letting you do it anymore.”

henry’s pretty shocked, so all he can say is gus’s name again.

gus shakes his head, and stabs a finger in henry’s direction. “no. you will walk in there, apologize, and mean it.” every word is stiff, harsh, and direct. “and then you will never talk to him again.”

henry blinks.

“not until you make an appointment with a therapist. and even then, you will only talk to shawn if he wants you to.”

henry’s still silent.

“this, all of this,” gus waves his hand around them, “is on you. it’s your fault, and it’s up to you to fix. shawn does not owe you anything.” gus pauses. “are we clear?”

henry’s never been met with this much authority before and he’s also pretty shook that he may never be able to see his son again (because he knows gus and he knows he’s dead set on these rules - this boy is the sweetest person henry’s ever met, but he can ice someone if he really means it. (i mean, he and gus lived in the same city for years after high school and gus did not see or speak to him once, and santa barbara’s not that big)).

and so henry kind of just blinks and says “okay.”

and gus’s shoulders relax just a fraction of an inch and he nods his head curtly. “wait here.”

when gus opens the door, it’s his intention to go find shawn and explain what’s going on, but instead, he finds shawn in the hallway, a shocked expression on his face, clearly having heard everything.

shawn kind of just blinks at him, and gus sighs and gently grabs his arm, leading him to the bedroom. shawn gives him a questioning look as gus shuts the door, and gus frowns and says, “he doesn’t get to hear all this.” (maybe it didn’t make a lot of sense, but, gus was mad, and he didn’t think henry deserved any more information in regards to anything shawn was thinking or feeling, so he didn’t want him to overhear their conversation).

gus asks shawn how much he heard, and shawn says everything. gus makes it clear that in no way is shawn obligated to hear henry out or accept his apology. but gus also makes it clear that shawn needs to do something about all of this (he also suggest therapy to him too - the irony that both spencer men are in desperate need of therapy and that madeline was a therapist, is not lost on him). he tells him that he knows shawn isn’t okay and shawn agrees.

for the first time, he actually admits that things with his dad can’t be ignored and that he needs help. because both gus and shawn don’t want shawn to go on like this.

and so after they talk, gus let’s henry in and henry apologizes. shawn’s still quiet and obviously awkward and uncomfortable (it’s not often he hears henry admit that he’s wrong), but he mutters “thanks” and before henry can try to awkwardly hug him, gus pushes him out and locks the door.

he pulls shawn to his chest and shawn melts into him, finding comfort in the only person that has ever mattered to him. shawn kisses gus’s collarbone softly, head resting in the crook of his neck, and he says quietly, “i love you.”

gus squeezes his husband tighter, tells him he loves him too, and then kisses him softly.

gus makes them waffles, makes shawn an appointment with a therapist, and they resume their star wars marathon.

for the first time in four days, shawn makes a joke. and when he joins gus’s laughter, it’s the same sound gus had memorized 25 years ago. it’s bright, happy, and bubbly, and it fills gus’s chest with unwavering love, but also a hope he’d thought he’d lost before.

things were going to be okay - gus was sure of it.

askjdhfk i was NOT expecting to write this much but apparently i have Thoughts about this.

anyways, i absolutely love this concept and i love you for sending this.

(also “shus is married because i said so” bABE IF THATS NOT ME EVERYDAY)

#shus #shawngus #shawn spencer #burton gus guster #burton guster #henry spencer #psych #headcannons #my writing #anon #answered #shawn x gus #shawn/gus

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kpop · 2 years

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