#we had communication issues

[getvalentined]

Not to dwell on this too much longer but I cannot fucking believe that we conceptualized, organized, created, presold, produced, shipped, ran leftovers and shipped leftovers on a whole fanthology during the layout arrangement period of a different fanthology that I was assured would go to print in spring of last year. Holy shit.

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[swiftietartt]

theatre etiquette is at an all time low, y’all cannot be singing and shouting things at actors. period.

they’re doing their jobs, and i did not pay the ticket price to listen to you.

[kanjichris]

"why don't you want him to know how much you love him?" "that's a little personal. he knows." "uh-huh."

[here-comes-the-moose]

So, I often talk about things that my grandfather does that I could see Tech doing, but this time I have something my dad does that I could see Tech doing.

My dad was and is always so involved when it came to our schoolwork, especially when it was a subject we were interested in. His dad wasn’t really around and wasn’t a great husband from what I’ve heard, so my dad has always taken being a father and husband VERY seriously (to him one of the worst things a man can be is a bad and/or absent father which is evident by what one of his favorite movie quotes is). A big part of this is him showing that he wants to be involved in things we’re excited about, but since he’s not an overly touchy-feely guy he does it in his own unique way. Two of the biggest examples I can think of is how I will mention a topic I’m learning about that is really interesting to me and then next thing I know he’s sending me every article he can find on that topic; another example is how when I mention a paper or project I completed or am working on that I’m excited about, he always asks to take a look at it and pretty much within the next twenty four hours he’s looked at it and sharing his thoughts, no matter how long it is. He did this even when I was away at college in a different state AND in a different time zone and even with my BA thesis.

This is just something I can really see Tech doing as a dad, since I feel we saw things like this in how he interacted with Omega. I can see him getting books for his kids on topics they’re interested in and trying to show them everything he can find about the topics. I can see him bringing his kids to museums, zoos, aquariums, etc. and just being excited to listen to his child and share in their excitement by asking questions and adding some thoughts of his own.

Idk I’m just really emotional lately and have a lot of feelings and thoughts right now 😭

[daffythefox]

i feel like people say "abuse is always intentional and a choice" because it helps them believe that they haven't and will never abuse someone so long as they believe abuse is wrong.

Do you think every abuser woke up and thought "today I will abuse someone on purpose"? Probably some of them, but not all. Some abusers genuinely think that abuse is just how relationships work. Sometimes kids abuse other kids before they grow up and realize what they did was fucked.

If you decide that abuse means "person intentionally abusing another", what about people who were abused by people who weren't intentionally abusing them? Is that not real abuse?

I'm not saying that you shouldn't be angry at your abuser. I think you should be angry at whoever you want to be angry at. But I think looking back at your actions and checking "was what I did okay? how did my actions impact the people I love?" is very important, especially for people with NPD, where having issues understanding how your actions impact others is a symptom.

Having NPD makes forming and maintaining healthy relationships way harder. I would know. It's also way harder to control emotional outbursts while you're having one (and emotional permanence issues mean once you stop having one, it's hard to imagine what it felt like).

Introspection about why you did the things you did, if/how you hurt someone you care about, trying to make it up to them, and minimizing the chances that it will happen again, are very important. In "npd abuse" spaces, this introspection is usually shut down by "well, if you think you might be a narcissist, you're not one". But I think this introspection can be very helpful, so long as the introspection doesn't begin and end with guilt/shame.

[bununuu]

might as well call me #1 shun defender bc that is my SON

[crabussy]

man its absolutely crazy how far simple politeness gets you. if you are polite to strangers on the internet who hate your guts 9/10 times they will LISTEN to you and TAKE YOUR POINTS INTO CONSIDERATION????? I've have genuinely very pleasant conversations with people whose worldviews COMPLETELY contradict my own and have come away knowing that they're thinking about what I said and may have even changed the way they think about the issue we discussed. it feels like it shouldn't work but it works almost TOO well. if people feel like you're listening to and considering THEIR opinions and experiences, they'll listen to yours too. it goes both ways!!!!

[prototypelq]

Everything you ever heard about DRG community is true.

I have now been to multiple public (anyone could join) missions, where I started off alone, only to have another rando newbie (player rank like 7, so under 10 hours of playtime, same as me) come join, and, And a player with rank 179 (... let's say from the top of my head, around 100+ hours in the game) joined in to help us. I bet no loot from those missions even matter to those players, the rewards should be too little of use to them. They are just high-level players looking out for newbies and joining their games to help you learn the ropes. It's honestly amazing and super sweet.

It's also extremely fun to just hang around in the lobby with people. I have had several games where me and the team were celebrating our latest mission at the bar/dancefloor, only to then fall prey to engine failure and drop off the game entirely. I feel bad for ghosting those players like that, we did just spend 10 or more minutes doing funny dances together, but I don't regret that time spent together at all. DRG is really magical like that.

Rock and Stone, you beautiful dwarves!

[petrichorvoices]

Which tends to work better for communication cards: having multiple phrases on one card but no images, or one/two phrase/s per card with an image alongside it?

We'll be using them for daily life, which includes university.

[storywestistrash]

i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans

[fluffypotatey]

you ever think about how MK never gets a chance to really define himself?

[pdid-safe-space]

the other ask actually reminded me of something; i'm curious, but did other p-did systems think they were osdd-1b before finding out about p-did?

we've known we're a system for roughly 10 years now and for most of it we said we were osdd-1b despite not really feeling like we belong because we barely had any switches at all, since the p-did diagnosis in the icd didn't exist until 2022 (i think?)

[faaun]

i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

[thrill-kill-kult]

I’ve mostly been thinking about this in the context of an AU I created, but I’ve been thinking a lot about Toki’s transition out of his parents’ home and into the real world.

I imagine he left before he was 18 and had to support himself entirely from before that in order to get himself out. And like idk I’m just thinking about the moment when he finally moves out and he’s sitting on a bed that he bought that’s in a room he can call his own, and like he thinks he’s going to be instantly happy and that everything will be perfect, but then he has to reckon with the fact that it isn’t, and now he has to deal with grieving his old life and trying to fit in to a new life he doesn’t really understand and keep himself afloat.

[moghedien]

so the Hugo Awards won’t step in when there are public hate campaigns using the Hugos aimed at getting actually vile shit nominated over multiple years and it is dependent on the community to deal with that, but they will censor nominations for *checks notes* the Chinese government