Tumblr Tuesday: Mole Interest
*Snufflethudgethurgsnorgesnuffle* Move aside, vanilla extract. Mole interest, comin' through. Thanks to all the mole artists and especially to @sabertoothwalrus for the fun little enrichment to our enclosures this week. Let's dig into it!
@aces-and-anime:
@catadromously:
@chicken-mc-nuggets:
@esther-jester:
@frippp:
@tumblestones:
@leftysage:
@nqsoa:
@electricpez:
@guardianspirits13:
@m1lk-ch3rry:
@hyperkittyjkat:
@nathanielthecurious:
@doctorbunny:
@sleepingjuliette:
@cottelini:
@jaz-stories:
@teoceearts:
@possumofthedead:
@neosatsuma:
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
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I am extremely suspicious of there being a rat in the Agency… have we met them yet??
For a minute, I thought you meant an actual rat, which would have been adorable and I may have to add that in at some point, lol!
But yeah, as might have been picked up, there definitely seems to be some...information leakage issues from people at the Agency!
Might be one person...might be more...who knows...?
Hehehehe! ;D
Thank you so much for the ask! :)
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not me getting emotional looking at a picture of my grandfather because I realized for the first time that his left eye is higher and deeper set than his right eye in the exact same way mine is, and it's a weird asymmetry that's always bothered me when looking at myself in pictures, but now it means that I'm like him
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Kazansky siblings ft. Mav (+ some cringe thoughts on family dynamics under the cut)
Tom is Alicia Florrick eldest sister coded. He must be perfect he must not be a burden if he causes any issues at all it will rock the boat and he does not want yo rock the boat. If he excels he will stand out and be appreciated. He must be good. He cannot be perfect (gay) so he must be ya know? His parents have been on the precipice of divorce for a decade by the time he’s 17 (he’s been rooting for them to get it over and done with since he was 11). They don’t need any of his shit to deal with too. Sarah on the other hand is younger sister coded. She has her own shit going on. Unlike ice she didn’t realize divorce was on the horizon until it was right in front of her and an already rebellious streak was exacerbated. She’s an emotions first consequences second kind of person and can be a little selfish although can you really blame her? Amy is the true youngest sister but she’s got that bonus baby ten years younger than her siblings thing happening. Ice and Sarah are super different but have a forged in fire closeness. Amy is just kinda vibing outside of them. She grew up with her parents divorce being a done deal by her 6th birthday and thus in a much chiller environment. Ice left huge expectations and Sarah left none so whatever Amy did was good enough. She feels a little left out and left behind sometimes but only when reminded that she’s not like actually an only child. At 34 Ice is a USNA grad like his father with an exceedingly impressive career and huge things to come but with no wife or girlfriend to show for it. At 31 Sarah is finding her footing after a bit of a wild 20s with a nursing degree and job. At 22 Amy is going to grad school for writing thinking how lucky she is Sarah turned her back on the navy and rotc back then. It’s made her parents much more accepting of a theater degree.
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