#we have more than enough of those and some creativity is warranted

[jayvikbdsmweek]

♡ IMPORTANT PSA ♡

We have been made aware of the multitude of themed fandom weeks happening during the months of June/July/August. First things first, that is so exciting! This fandom is beyond creative, and it is awesome watching this little world thrive even months after the show has ended! 

This event is meant to be fun, casual, and exciting! The last thing we want is for those who wish to participate to become overwhelmed & burnt-out from trying to do all of the prompts in such a busy time. This event is simply a way to inspire people to explore/try new things, and we don’t want our wonderful creatives to feel like they are nothing more than cogs in a machine who pump out content. 

With this being said, we wanted to explain a few changes we have made to the usual way themed fandom weeks run:

We will be leaving the ao3 collection up indefinitely. If you wish to write a fic based off of a certain prompt, but simply don't have time to until weeks or months later? Rest assured, you will still be able to add it to the collection!

We will still be watching the hashtag on both X and Bluesky after the event “ends,” so if there is art, fics, edits, and/or cosplay you wish to share but can’t do so during the week, please feel free to continue using the hashtag!

♡ BASIC INFORMATION / FAQ ♡

What is BDSM?

BDSM is an umbrella term for a wide range of sexual practices that involve physical bondage, the giving or receiving of pain, dominant or submissive roleplay, and/or other related activities. It is an abbreviation for bondage, discipline (or domination,) sadism (or submission.)

Why is there a Jayvik BDSM Week?

There are two answers to this question. 

The long answer is that BDSM is a way for someone to form healthy sexual relationships with other people, as well as creating a healthier relationship with one’s own body. BDSM as a subculture has been around for many years, yet there is still a stigma that those who engage in BDSM are other or perverted. This is simply not true. Sex positivity is something to be proud of, as long as it is safe & consensual. So why not help bring some of this sex positivity to adult-centric fandom creativity? 

The short answer? We want our two favorite men to fuck crazy style. 

What if I want to write/draw/create something based off of non-sexual kink? 

We encourage everyone who participates to create something that they are happy with. Not everything in BDSM has to be sexual, so please feel free to create non-sexual content!

Is DD/Dead Dove content allowed? 

Absolutely. For clarification, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat is a term coined from the show Arrested Development, where a character opens a fridge and finds a paper bag with the words “DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT” written on it. When he opens the bag, he says “I don’t know what I expected.”

In fandom terms DD:DNE is used to mean: The tags reflect what you will find within this content. Essentially, you have been warned. 

We do not want to ostracize dark/niche kinks, but we are requiring that any content that may be triggering enough to warrant a Dead Dove warning needs to be tagged appropriately, otherwise it will be removed from the collection, and not shared by the social media accounts. Remember: the Dead Dove tag alone is nothing without the proper tag to go along with it. 

Along with this, please refrain from drawing/writing any shota/loli/underage content and adding it to the collection/tag. While the mods are very “anti-censorship,” we will not be comfortable sharing such content. 

Is this a Jayvik event only, or can I write/draw/cosplay Vikjayce?

While the name of the event is “Jayvik BDSM Week,” we will happily accept any submissions of our sexy Jayce Giopara & Machine Herald. 

Is there a specific dynamic that I need to follow regarding top/bottom or dom/sub?

No, feel free to explore any and all dynamics to your heart's content! Whether it be top/bottom preferences or gender identity, we encourage you to explore the prompts however you see fit!

How strict are the prompts?

Short answer: not at all. If there is a certain kink/fetish that you feel like falls under the general scope of the daily prompts, don’t hesitate to use it! The prompts are there simply for inspiration, and if you find yourself wanting to stray a bit, that's okay! (as long as it is tagged appropriately, of course)

If you have any other questions, please reach out to the mods via DM on either the X or Bluesky account @ jayvikBDSMweek

♡ HAVE FUN AND STAY KINKY! ♡

[slippinmickeys]

I have come to you for information, O Wise One. o.o

Can you outline what is normal and not when it comes to showrunners, producers, and executive overhead? For example: what was normal, what was abnormal, and what expected in Chris's battles with Fox? How much control was he already expected to have before The X-Files took off? What are lies or obfuscation on his end? What is the truth behind his claims? Or how can one decipher without an intimate knowledge of behind-the-scenes workings? (For my part: lots and lots of interview deep-diving.)

He often said he had to protect his vision from outside forces... but as far as I've seen, CC ended up getting his way most (if not all) of the time. On the one hand, I get preserving inspiration to keep an endeavor close to one's own "truth"... but on the other, it seems his protective streak went into overdrive more often than not. And, even more often than not, when it wasn't warranted. (I get it stems from his childhood circumstances and etc., but there comes a time when leniency needs to be met with reality. )

I'm not really sure what I'm asking because I don't know what to ask. So. I lay this out to you and hope you can spot and inform my ignorance. :DDDDDDD

I’m not that wise, I’ve just been around the game a long time, have a lot of friends who write for film and television (including showrunners) and have seen a lot. With the initial caveat of pointing out that I have far more experience in film than I do in television—I’m certainly not an authority, though I’ve been around the block—I do feel like I can at least speak to what I’ve seen.

As I’m sure you already know, in television, showrunners are the ultimate authority. They oversee not just the creative direction of the show—running the writers room, hearing pitches on story, shooting down bad ideas, running with good ones—but also the budget, the physical production, post, everything. They’re the intermediary with the studio, who hold the purse strings, and can wield some control, but if you’re a wily enough showrunner, you find a way to get your way, and I think Chris Carter is as wily as they come. It’s a hard job. You have to wear a lot of hats and juggle a lot of everything, and the burnout rate is HIGH. For someone to last as long as Chris Carter has and did (on a show that got as big globally as almost any show ever has) speaks to his capability and guile. (I speak to his capability and guile as Hollywood animal, by the way, I have as many problems with his choices on story and show direction as anyone else.)

Before the show took off, he still would have had a decent amount of power, just in the inherent nature of Showrunner As Position. And Fox was such a young network at the time, I think he was probably a very capable smooth talker, able to navigate his way in order to get his way amongst the various machinations of a studio that was still finding its way. As the show got big and the network got bigger, I think he was given the benefit of the doubt…a lot. I can’t speak to all the battles he had with the network, but I think we have to take him at his word that he won most of them. For better or worse. This was a man who made Fox a LOT of money. I think he’s a guy who knew how to navigate the system he was in and ultimately stayed on top of the snow in every avalanche.

As for lies, truth and obfuscation on his end? I can’t speak to that. I wasn’t there, I don’t know. I can only follow the things that happened as were reported at the time��as you are so capably (honestly, I bow to your skill) doing now, all these years later. You ask how one can decipher these things without an intimate knowledge of behind-the-scenes workings? One can’t. behind-the-scenes workings are different on every show, within every network, and things now don’t work exactly like they used to due to the nature of the ever-evolving beast. Bottom line, only those who were there really know.

What I can say is that I have spoken to him in an intimate setting (as intimate as you can get eating lunch with twenty other people, though I sat directly across from him, and due to the nature of my life experience and job, wasn’t as nervous as I think some of my peers were, so I feel like I was able to absorb a lot), we spoke mainly about the show, and a lot of the stuff he told us “Clyde Bruckman’s prediction of Scully’s immortality informed all the choices I made after that, including Tithonus!” I fucking believed it as I was sitting there. (In retrospect I’m kind of like “…god, really?” But he has an undeniable charisma. And I gotta say, I get why he got his way.)

I wish a lot of things when it comes to this show and his choices. I wish he’d kept a show bible, for one. (“I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist.” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST) But I do respect a lot of what we DID get, and I think we have to give credit where it’s due. Even if David Duchovny and Kim Manners and Gillian Anderson and whoever else wielded their influence where they thought it was necessary. The buck stopped at Chris Carter. That’s just the nature of the television beast. And for a man to survive in his position as long as he did…that man had some serious game. Again, for better or worse.

I’m not sure I answered your questions. Maybe I’m talking completely out of my ass. But this is how I see it.

[bonefall]

While we’re talking changing who appears in places- can we change the cats helping out with Sunbeam’s rock trial? I was so confused why the cats selected to help were selected. Sure Cherryfall because she was going to be the one opposing Sunbeam, why not, anyone can do that though honestly and not who I take issue with being there. But Alderheart was there? The medicine cat? Don’t you think he has better things to be doing than pushing a rock around? Where’s Lionblaze aka “I may as well still have my god given super strength”? He could easily be the cat that gets pissy for Sunbeam “not listening to senior warriors” and maybe with age feels that she doesn’t respect him, head of patrols, enough to warrant her staying this sabotaging her in the third trial. I felt robbed that Plumstone who seemed to be established as another bg strong cat was absent. Sure sending Sunbeam with all the strongest cats would make it easy but it’d also be making it safe considering Ivypool didn’t want the rock to hurt anyone and it’s a pecking rock. Why not send your strongest cats to deal with it?

I feel very strongly about this trial, can you tell?

I'm a bit dissatisfied with certain trials in general. Most of the time I LOVE the new trials they made, I think they've been super creative so far, but some have been so lackluster that I need to shine them up.

Namely Berryheart's active attempts to get challengers killed. Someone has to get ACTUALLY hurt by one of those, instead of them just being generally unfair and no one raises an objection about it. I did not like the spring-powered adder that went BOING out of a log.

I will say that I would like to expand on Plumstone in this arc, plus her whole little family. They're in an interesting place, with Bumblestripe coming back from Ferncloud's Parting while leaving his father with the Tribe, Blossomfall still reeling with emotional abuse she suffered at the paws of the impostor, Stemleaf's death and Spotfur raising his kits, and Shellfur's mateship with Fernstripe.

Plumstone ALSO has some stuff going on. She's besties-maybe-dating Thriftear, Bristlefrost's sister, and yet she's one of the more outspoken cats about how she's getting tired of the ThunderClan nepotism. She's strong, reliable, and a competent warrior-- so HOW is it fair that Nightheart keeps getting all these undeserved "chances to prove himself" when SHE is here, SIGNIFICANTLY more orange, and wants her own chance to shine??

I still see her personality as being "a dear" lmao, she's not mean, but she's also not willing to bite her tongue either. She will say what's on her mind, and point out unfair treatment when she feels it.

Thriftear supports this. Yeah, she's a descendant of Firestar and a great warrior, but she EARNED the respect she gets. Bristlefrost did too. Nightheart doesn't even want his legacy, why is this clumsy humbug still getting special treatment?

Good-cat bad-cat pair type thing going on.

So I'm probably going to let them both act as a unit, since BB's Dewnose isn't in ThunderClan and that was a really random pair-up anyway.

("wait! Elder Bones! Where did Dewnose go?" Probably ShadowClan, here is the BB!ThunderClan family tree. There's been shuffles; the Cloudbright kits are now Whitewing, Foxleap, and Icecloud, 3 "singlet" litters, spaced out over years.)

Quickie thoughts on touching up the trials;

(DISCLAIMER: NOT SOLID. WE DON'T REWORK UNTIL ARCS ARE COMPLETE.)

Berryheart's are going to need serious overhauls. Nightheart's were really cute and I enjoyed them, but BB is supposed to be about how her group is escalating towards violence. I do not want them to stay so "cute" for the story I'm telling.

I also don't want to keep Nightheart failing his last one on purpose. I want his growth to be more based in self-realization than trying to let Sunbeam "save face."

I kinda want Fringewhisker to get injured during one of her own, and then Antfur dies as collateral damage in Nightheart's last. I'd like Nightheart leaving to be half him realizing that his BEHAVIOR is a problem, and half for his own safety.

In ThunderClan, I'd like the boulder one to be more about Sunbeam assembling a team, almost like she's a patrol head.

Since it's her second trial and she displayed some pretty fantastic leadership skills with her first one, I've got an inkling of an idea that Squilf actually talked with Ivy about wanting to legitimately assess her talent.

Like, "We both know that this whole trial-system was just to appease the other Clans. These are meant to be easy because idgaf. But wow, Sunbeam was actually impressive with those kits. What else can she do, if we give her the chance?"

I really like writing Squilf as she's described in Bramblestar's Storm, where her good leadership comes from being attentive of details and making everyone feel useful.

Man... maybe ill save Rosepetal for this arc and let her be deputy during this. Something feels very Rosepetaly about this. Maybe even have Rosepetal be clearly treating her as if she's a Secondary Apprentice, preparing her to take over her reputation of being a prolific mentor... Nightheart comes back from his trip only to find Sunbeam with twice as much respect as status as he ever had.

I can always axe Rose later to get Ivypool in... But I also REALLY love all the Ivypool Deputy Drama with how there's a conflict with ShadowClan... man. why are there so many interesting girls.

Maybe Rose doesn't have to be deputy, but Ivy assigns Rosepetal as the only "mandatory member" of the Boulder Patrol. Like a tutorial tip lmaooo

Sunbeam: "I think I will pick......................" STARES AT ROSEPETAL, "aaalderrr-" Rosepetal frowns "--pluuuuumstone??" Rosepetal nods, "Wise choice."

And lastly. The final Sunbeam trial. Ngl hated it. It felt really boring compared to the previous two, which were super interesting and excellent ways to give some spotlight to background characters.

Riddles don't even feel like a ThunderClan thing. Idk that was a very RiverClan (philosophy) or ShadowClan (trickery) kind of thing.

I think I'll hold off on thinking about it though; I think it would be SUPER cool if I totally overhauled that last trial to make it foreshadow the later books, somehow.

I DO want to keep that disney channel ass Cherryfall being a bitch part though. I love her so much. I'm so glad she's walking in her father's pawsteps and becoming the snot-nosed brat of ThunderClan.

I will definitely be changing how Sunbeam HANDLES it though. Hate the way that the books emphasize never telling anyone anything.

In fact, I kinda want to make Sunbeam approach Sparkpelt for advice, to show she finally has a figure she feels like she can trust.

Explicitly contrast the way that she NEVER felt like she could approach Berryheart, and that so much of her appeasing, avoidant behavior had been because she didn't feel safe or respected.

Here, in ThunderClan, she has family. She begins to realize that even if Nightheart came back and dumped her, Sparkpelt and Finchlight would NEVER kick her to the curb.

So she goes to Sparkpelt about how she is being bullied by Cherryfall, and they TALK ABOUT OPTIONS.

Like, you know,

Spark: "We could go to Squirrelstar or the deputy."

Sun: "I don't want to cause a fuss if I don't have to... besides, idk, I don't want to set the peat on fire, it would be nice if I could be on good terms with Cherryfall later."

Spark: "that's very wise of you, but just remember that Squilst is a very fair person. We can always go to her. Do you want any backup at all or do you want to do this on your own?"

Sun: "I think... I think I actually do need to do this on my own. If I was being confronted, I think I would just double down if I was being attacked in a group. That was right with Brambleclaw because you weren't trying to convince him, but... what do you think?"

Spark: "I think Cherryfall's just like her father and her ego is everything to her, so I think you're right on the mouse with all this. Honestly, I don't even know how much I'm helping here!"

Sun: "Oh but you are helping! You're helping a lot! StarClan... it feels so nice to just... have someone to listen. Thanks, Sparkpelt."

Basically, tweak the trials to bring them more in line with the themes and messages of BB, y'know? And also beef up the Clans themselves, by stressing the various personalities that are at play here. Especially since I quite like how Sunbeam in ThunderClan has some super neat traits she wasn't expressing in ShadowClan.

Like... it feels like it could be a really cool story to tell about how supportive environments can make you really shine. How you can suddenly seem like a brand new person, just by having people who have your back and encourage your autonomy.

[pixel7777]

The First Worshipper: Ch. 11

The naughty version of the beautiful artwork commissioned from the incredible misfitlunatic (https://x.com/misfit_lunatik or https://bsky.app/profile/misfitlunatik.bsky.social) can be seen in all its glory here.

If you want to read from the beginning, searching my blog for #myfic will bring up all my fanfic posts. Link for Chapter 1. Link for art discussion post.

Read this chapter below the break here or on AO3!

132 years AB

My dearest Shadowheart,

You'll never believe where I found myself last week—a tiny fishing village on the Chultan coast with barely enough hovels to warrant a name, yet there it stood: a shrine to our insufferable friend. Nothing grand like my cathedral, mind you, just a humble altar with that ridiculous crown carved in driftwood. I couldn't help but laugh. The local priestess nearly fainted when I introduced myself.

(Don't tell Gale, but I may have embellished a few of our adventures for dramatic effect. The villagers were particularly fond of the tale where he tripped over his robes and fell face-first into the Chionthar. Some stories simply improve with creative retelling.)

Speaking of improvement, I maintain that Selune's following would triple if she would just let me revise her doctrine. "Let the moon be your guide" is desperately lacking in panache. I've drafted several alternatives that are far more engaging. Perhaps "Dance beneath the moon's silver gaze while plotting delightful mischief"?

No? 

Your loss.

I crossed paths with Wyll in Amn last month. We cleared out a nasty devil cult—and by "we," I mean I did most of the work while he posed heroically. If he tells you otherwise, he's lying through those perfect teeth of his. Though I must admit, it felt good to put these fangs to proper use again. There's only so much diplomatic schmoozing one can endure before craving a proper fight.

The road suits me better than I expected. Each new city, each strange face—they show me different reflections of myself. Sometimes I barely recognize the vampire spawn I used to be. (Though I still drink only the finest vintage, naturally. Standards must be maintained.)

I do miss our conversations in the Vale, and Halsin's inexhaustible patience with my... everything. Perhaps I'll make my way back. Eventually. Possibly. When I run out of new places to scandalize with tales of our resident god's embarrassing moments.

Until then, keep the moonlight warm for me.

Yours truly,

Astarion

P.S. - If anyone asks, I had nothing to do with that statue of Gale in Waterdeep. The pose was entirely mostly the artist's choice.

* * *

Gale surveyed his latest addition to his divine domain - a grand amphitheater carved from celestial marble, its seats ascending in perfect spirals toward infinity. Countless identical columns stretched into the distance, their shadows falling in precise geometric patterns across the pristine floor.

He'd spent what felt like centuries crafting every detail. The architecture defied mortal physics, each structure more impressive than the last. Floating observatories tracked the movements of stars yet undiscovered. Libraries contained knowledge from countless worlds. Fountains flowed with liquid ambition itself, their waters reflecting every dream ever dreamed.

And yet.

The emptiness of it all pressed against him like a physical weight. His footsteps echoed through vacant halls designed to hold multitudes. No matter how many wonders he created, the spaces between them only grew larger.

He paused at a window overlooking an endless sea of possibilities - each wave containing a different potential future. The view should have inspired awe. Instead, it reminded him of watching Astarion tell stories at the Loot Tavern, how his friend's theatrical gestures had brought more life to that humble space than all these grand halls combined.

A prayer tickled at the edge of his consciousness - something about a shrine in Chult.

He reached for the prayer like a starving man grasping at crumbs, desperate for any connection to the mortal realm. In his mind's eye, he could see Astarion perfectly - that theatrical arch of his brow, the way he'd sprawl across three chairs while holding court at the tavern, one leg dangling as he gestured with his wine glass. The vampire would be doing it right now, no doubt, spinning some outrageous tale about his latest escapade with just enough truth woven in to make his audience lean forward, hanging on every calculated pause...

Gale caught himself smiling, then forced his thoughts away from the scene with a sharp shake of his head. This wouldn't do at all. Astarion was clearly managing his own journey of self-discovery, following through on his promises to figure out who he was beyond trauma and past relationships. Meanwhile, here sat Gale, supposedly a god of ambition, woolgathering like a lovesick apprentice instead of attending to his divine responsibilities. He straightened his shoulders, trying to recapture some semblance of godly dignity. There were more pressing matters at hand than reminiscing about tavern tales.

Gale traced his fingers along a perfectly smooth wall. He'd designed every inch of this realm to celebrate achievement and aspiration. But what good was ambition without someone to share it with? Even the Netherbrain had its collective consciousness. Here, there was only him and the echo of his own thoughts bouncing off immaculate surfaces.

He'd built a monument to solitude disguised as a tribute to greatness. The realization sat heavy in his chest, more suffocating than any mortal weight had ever been.

Gale straightened, energy surging through his divine form as inspiration struck. Of course - he didn't need to wait for Ao's permission to welcome souls in his domain to fill it with more than grand buildings and books. He could create "helpers" of his own. They would make the place ready for when the gates could finally open… and keep him company in the meantime.

Drawing on his newfound powers, Gale wove streams of divine energy into humanoid shapes. The first attempts emerged stiff and statue-like, but he refined the process, adding subtle movements and expressions. Soon, a dozen glowing figures populated his grand hall, drifting between columns with ethereal grace.

"Much better," he muttered, watching them float past. But their movements felt mechanical, lacking the spark of true life. He concentrated harder, pouring more power into their forms, willing them toward something closer to consciousness.

The figures flickered, their golden light intensifying. One turned its head toward him with an almost-natural gesture. Encouraged, Gale pushed further, trying to infuse them with fragments of memory - echoes of laughter from the Copper Crown, snippets of conversation from their adventuring days.

The nearest figure convulsed, its form destabilizing. Others began to twist and stretch, their carefully crafted features melting like wax. One emitted a sound that might have been meant as speech but emerged as discordant tones that set Gale's teeth on edge.

"No, wait—" He reached out to stabilize them, but his touch only accelerated their deterioration. The figures collapsed in on themselves, their light growing painful to look at. Their movements became erratic, bouncing off walls and leaving scorch marks on his perfect marble.

The first figure exploded in a burst of divine energy that cracked one of his meticulously designed columns. The others followed in rapid succession, each detonation more violent than the last. Gale threw up a barrier just as the final construct detonated, sending fragments of celestial architecture raining across his pristine floor.

When the dust settled, Gale stood amid the wreckage. The hall's perfect symmetry lay in ruins, scorch marks marring the walls in chaotic patterns. He picked up a chunk of marble, still warm from the explosions, and turned it over in his hands.

"Gosh," he said to the empty hall, "that could have gone better."

A presence materialized behind Gale, vast and ancient as the multiverse itself. He didn't need to turn around to know who it was - the weight of Ao's attention pressed against his consciousness like an ocean against a paper boat.

"That was quite the light show." Ao's voice resonated through both the physical space and Gale's mind simultaneously.

"I wasn't trying to—" Gale gestured at the scorched walls. "They were meant to be simple constructs. Decorative."

"If that were true, they wouldn't have destabilized so spectacularly." Ao moved into view, his form both present and absent in ways that made Gale's divine senses ache. "You are not yet permitted to create sentient life, young one. That privilege must be earned."

"But surely basic companionship—"

"Is exactly what you were attempting to manufacture." Ao's tone held neither anger nor judgment, just absolute certainty. "Your connection to the material plane remains too strong. These mortal attachments cloud your judgment, prevent you from developing the objectivity and dispassion required of your station."

I'd rather keep my passion than become some detached observer, Gale thought before remembering exactly who he was… thinking loudly around.

Ao's expression shifted minutely - was that amusement? "And that reaction precisely demonstrates why we insist on this probationary period. Your mortal impatience nearly destroyed you once before. Or have you forgotten the orb?"

The memory of that desperate hunger, that driving ambition that had led him to accidentally capture a piece of the weave of Karsus inside his very flesh, flickered through Gale's mind. He'd almost unmade himself - and Mystra's Weave along with him.

"The consequences of such impulsiveness now would be far graver," Ao continued. "Divine power requires divine perspective. You must learn patience."

"Yes, Lord Ao," Gale managed, mortification burning through him like a star going nova.

"Try harder," Ao said simply, and was gone.

* * *

151 years AB

I drummed my fingers on the lanceboard, watching Halsin contemplate his next move with all the urgency of a tree growing roots. The Vale's afternoon light filtered through leaves overhead, casting dappled shadows across the wooden pieces.

"Any day now, dear friend. I do have eternity, but let's not test its limits."

Halsin's lips twitched. "Patience was never your strong suit." He finally moved his piece—directly into my trap. Again.

I sighed, capturing his defender with an elegant sweep. "And strategy was never yours. That's the third time you've fallen for that gambit."

"Perhaps I enjoy watching you win." His eyes crinkled with amusement. "You're less acerbic when you're feeling superior."

"I'm always feeling superior." I reset the board, more out of habit than hope for an actual challenge. "Though I must say, after thirty years of wandering, it's... not unpleasant to sit still for a moment."

"Even here?" Halsin gestured to the Vale around us, where druids tended their gardens and children chased each other through the grass. "I'd have thought you'd find it provincial after your grand adventures."

I caught sight of Shadowheart in her garden, her silver hair gleaming in the sun as she pruned her roses. The years sat well on her—though I'd never tell her that. She'd probably think I was being condescending.

"Provincial has its charms." I moved my first piece. "Besides, I've seen enough of the world's wonders to content me for several mortal lifetimes. Did you know there's a city in Chult where they worship Gale as a god of rain? Absolute nonsense—he can barely manage being a god of ambition."

Halsin chuckled, making another predictably poor move. "And yet you still pray to him."

"Someone has to keep him humble." I captured another of his pieces. "Though I doubt that's possible anymore. Last time I heard from him, he was contemplating adding another wing to his divine domain. Something about needing more space for his ego."

The afternoon stretched on, peaceful and mundane. No monsters to slay, no conspiracies to unravel. Just an old druid losing badly at lanceboard, the sound of children's laughter, and the scent of Shadowheart's roses on the breeze.

I moved another piece without thought, watching Halsin's predictable counter-move with only half my attention. My gaze kept drifting to Shadowheart, noting how her once-ramrod straight back was now slightly bowed, how time had etched lines around her eyes and mouth. When had that happened?

The years I'd spent wandering seemed to collapse in on themselves. One moment she'd been helping me select curtains for the cathedral, and now... now she moved more slowly, took more breaks while tending her beloved roses.

"Your move," Halsin prompted.

"Mm." I captured another of his pieces mechanically. "Tell me, do you think those new roses will survive the winter? The red ones she planted last week?"

"Since when do you care about gardening?"

I didn't answer. How could I explain that I'd cut my grand tour short, abandoned the thrill of discovery and adventure, because I'd realized with sudden, stark clarity that I might never see Shadowheart again? That after watching Karlach and Jaheira and Lae'zel slip away, I couldn't bear to miss these final precious years with one of the few people who truly knew me?

How utterly shocking—the great selfish bastard Astarion, rushing back to the Vale like some sentimental fool.

I'd spent centuries convinced that caring for others was a weakness, that true power lay in standing apart. Yet here I was, finding more joy in watching Shadowheart teach young acolytes about moon-blooming flowers than I had in all the wonders of Chult or the glittering spires of Waterdeep. Although perhaps the possibility of more adventures in the future made this pastoral idle a bit less smothering than if it was to be my eternity.

"Checkmate," I said absently, toppling Halsin's last piece. "Another?"

"If you'd like. Though you seem rather distracted."

I shrugged, resetting the board. "Just thinking about how absolutely mortifying it is to discover I actually enjoy your company. All of you. Don't let it go to your head."

I reset the board, my fingers lingering on a carved wooden piece. Sebastian would have loved these—he had an eye for craftsmanship. Always noticing the subtle details, the way light caught the grain of wood, how shadows played across surfaces.

"Your move," Halsin prompted, but my mind was already wandering through shadowed caverns where mushrooms glowed like stars.

Sebastian had been... good. Patient. Understanding. Everything I should have wanted. He'd shown me beauty in stillness, peace in routine. The way he mixed his paints, each color carefully considered, each stroke deliberate—it had been mesmerizing. No rush, no desperate need to prove anything to anyone.

And that had been the problem, hadn't it?

I moved a piece without thinking. "Did you know he tried to teach me to paint? I was absolutely dreadful at it. No patience for details."

"Who? Sebastian?  He's on your mind again, then."

"Mmm." I captured one of Halsin's pieces. "He said I was too focused on the end result, that I needed to learn to enjoy the process. Terribly wise of him. I hated it."

Because that was the truth of it—I'd tried to be what Sebastian needed, what I thought I should want. Quiet evenings with tea and canvas, gentle conversations about art and philosophy. But beneath that veneer of contentment, something in me had been screaming for more.

"The irony is," I said, watching Halsin contemplate his next move, "he understood me better than I understood myself. He knew I'd leave before I did. Said I had too much fire in me to stay in the shadows forever."

My fingers traced the edge of the lanceboard. "I could have loved him forever, I think, if I'd been someone else. Someone better at peace."

But I wasn't. I was restless, hungry—not for blood anymore, but for something else. Movement. Change. The thrill of never knowing what the next day might bring.

Sebastian had deserved better than half-love and restless nights. And I deserved to be loved for who I was and not ability to pretend to be what someone else needed.  It still felt strange, so think it so bluntly.  What I deserved.  That, flawed as I was—and my friends probably had a running list—I still deserved some things. And that was one.

I rose from the lanceboard, offering Halsin an exaggerated bow. "I'll spare you further humiliation for today. Besides, Shadowheart promised to show me her secrets of botanical warfare."

"It's called dyeing, Astarion," Shadowheart called from her garden, already gathering her basket.

"Same thing, really. Both involve destroying something beautiful to make it more interesting." I crossed the grass to offer her my arm, noting how she leaned into it more than she used to. Not for support—she'd bite my head off if I suggested that—but there was a comfort in the contact that hadn't been there decades ago. For both of us, I supposed.

The walk back to the house was peaceful, filled with her quiet commentary about which blooms would yield the best colors. I watched her hands as she gestured, weathered now but still graceful, still strong. The years had carved their marks into her skin, but they'd also softened something in her eyes, worn away some of the sharp edges we'd both carried for so long.

Inside, I helped her set down the basket, breathing in the earthy scent of fresh-picked flowers and herbs. This was my life for the moment. Teaching young thieves to read in the evening. Embroidering ridiculous scenes of our adventures onto silk. Listening to Shadowheart explain the proper way to crush petals for the deepest purple dye. Cherishing the ones who knew me best and who didn't resent that this would not be my life for forever.

I was a vampire who had learned to love sunrises. A former slave who now chose his own chains—of friendship, of family, of life on this planet with which I was increasingly enamored. Anyone who wanted to love me would have to love that too, divine or not.

But those thoughts could wait. Shadowheart was laying out her tools with methodical precision, and there was dyeing to be done.

"Now, pay attention," she said, selecting a bloom. "And try not to stain anything this time."

"That was once, darling, and it made that tablecloth far more interesting."

Her laugh, warm and real, filled the room, and I focused on the task at hand. The present moment was enough.

* * *

[Astarion kneels at his private altar, adjusting the blue silk with theatrical precision. He arranges fresh flowers—stolen from Shadowheart's garden—and places a bottle of wine beside them.]

"Oh most divine and probably-bored-out-of-your-mind Gale, your most devoted worshipper brings tidings from the mortal realm."

[He swirls the wine in his glass, a smirk playing at his lips.]

"I wanted to thank you, actually. For understanding why I needed to wander, to find my own way. And for not smiting me when I spent that decade spreading increasingly ridiculous stories about your ascension. The one about you achieving godhood through an eating contest with Cyric was particularly inspired, I thought."

[He pauses to sip his wine, then continues with an exaggerated sigh.]

"Life has been surprisingly... good. Though I must say, watching Halsin attempt to play lanceboard is a special kind of torture. The man can command nature itself, yet he can't grasp basic strategy. It's almost impressive, really.

"But Shadowheart's roses—now those are magnificent. You should see them.  It’s strange, you know, how something so delicate can hold so much strength. Shadowheart seems to have passed that quality on to every bloom in her care. Unless that's insensitive? Pointing out all the lovely things down here while you're stuck managing the cosmic order or whatever it is you do all day?"

[He leans forward conspiratorially, lowering his voice.]

"Speaking of Halsin... I've been thinking. He's aged rather well for a mortal, hasn't he? Those arms are still quite impressive, and he does have that whole wise-druid thing going for him. Do you think it would be terribly awkward if I—"

[He pauses dramatically.]

"If I perhaps... pursued a more intimate connection with our naturalistic friend?"

[He maintains the serious expression for exactly three seconds before breaking into laughter.]

"I'm joking, of course! Could you imagine? Though your face—or whatever divine equivalent you have now—must have been priceless."

[He refills his wine glass, grinning.]

"Someone has to keep you entertained up there. Tell me, which gods have the best sense of humor? I bet Mask is fun at parties. Though surely none of them can match my wit. Don't worry, I'll keep the quality material coming your way… and throw the occasional rose on the altar for you.  Don't read anything romantic into it. Or do. Depending, I suppose, on how the balance of heaven and earth—and certain mortal memories—weighs in your heart these days.

"Though I must admit, the roses make me think of her—our dear Shadowheart. She's still here, in her garden, making everything she touches beautiful. You’d like what she’s done with the place, Gale. Perhaps you should stop by. Bring that godly presence of yours down to Faerun once in a while. I promise not to make too much fun of you. Well, maybe just a little.

"I remain, as always, my dearest Gale, your devoted servant and friend."

[He rises gracefully, brushing invisible dust from his knees.]

[loveharlow]

i’m so sorry for these dumbass anons. unfortunately we live in a world where binging shows and overconsumption in general is the norm now. ppl expect everything to be instantaneous and have forgotten the amount of time and work that goes into making any form of media or literature. it genuinely pisses me off whenever i see ppl demanding things from creatives and complaining about waiting. ppl need to get their heads out of their asses and learn how to be patient and appreciative. whether it’s demanding a fic, a new season of a show, a new album, etc. it’s fkn ridiculous that this entitled attitude is so common now.

keep doing what you enjoy doing at whatever pace or priority you desire. and i’m so so glad you’re standing up for yourself even tho it’s a shame that you even have to in the first place. 🖤🖤🖤

thank you so much because i honestly stepped back for a second and had to look a my first reply and be like "did i say anything mean...?"

and not to mention, i understand that i put the pressure of being a writer onto myself but in what world does that warrant some rude ass mf to come at me for not writing chapters fast enough? like im a person with real hobbies and a very real future, not to mention...i don't get paid for this shit, i do it for fun because im a freaky ass bitch with a oddly vivid imagination and decent writing skills😭

and i've gotten asks similar to those before and ngl, i just delete them. no one is going to rush me on my own blog and i don't tolerate disrespect and i want my blog to be more positive than negative. but something about the attitude and insults just genuinely had me fucked up LMAO

and i already felt bad because i feel like sometimes, anons and some readers try to make things a competition when they're not😭 the persons fic that was sent was only sent in, i'm assuming, because the masterlist looked similar to seven (really only with the inbetween pieces) but i read the first chapter and for one, the story is sooo damn good, and two, the plot lines are not similar at ALL.

but i honestly appreciate this sm babe you're angel, that anon had me stressing last night

love you!

[rosalind-hawkins]

Yay, my first ever ask to someone!

Because I know you love him as much as I do, I'm sure you'll probably won't even have to think very long about the answers: Of course, I'm choosing Duke for the character ask game :D I'd be very much interested in 4, 9, 10, 11, 21, 22, 24 – but of course, choose wichever ones you like or make it everything <3 And for the freebie question a little headcanon: What would be a typical phrase you imagine him saying all the time?

OMG Honored to be your first! <3 <3 <3 And you're right, I always love talking about Duke. Sincerely shocked how little attention he gets overall. And as predicted, I answered way more questions than you asked lol. Enjoy!

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

The cheerleaders. I just, oh boy, wow. Please tell me those girls put those uniforms on themselves and he didn't ask them to. That would be so cringe. >.<

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

So, his English VA, Marc Thompson, does the audiobooks for the Star Wars "Fate of the Jedi" book series that my husband and I are listening to, so I find myself frequently picturing Duke in Star Wars outfits during my Duke Devlin Star Wars Storytime. XD

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Cherry Pie by Warrant, cause I imagine him jamming out to it in his classic car. See also Question 12.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Fandom doesn't do enough with him for me to have an answer to this question, but I have seen people giving him new outfits, which I adore. Yes, dress this boy up, he loves it!

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Yes, I appreciate the YGOTAS theme song jokes as much as the next dude, but if you try to find Duke scenes on Youtube, that's all you can find. :(

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Absolutely. I headcanon that he's really tidy with his personal space, and we could take turns making dinner (thank you Season Four for telling us that he's a good cook).

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Quite possibly, yeah. I have some creative indie side projects of my own, and I feel like he'd have good feedback if I needed another set of eyes on some new character designs or plot-points. I will also be hitting him up for haircare tips all the time lol.

11. Would you date this character?

If I weren't married and I had a chance, absolutely yes. Don't know if it would work out long-term, but it would be fun.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I headcanon that he's a big Adam Lambert fan and sings his music in the shower (and everywhere else he sings). Try listening to the Adam Lambert cover of Holding Out For A Hero and try telling me it doesn't have Duke-like levels of drama and flare, I dare you. Other AL songs I think he'd specifically jam to are Fever, Strut, The Light, and Pop That Lock. I don't always have headcanons for a character's taste in music, but I just get really strong vibes on what he's into. I also think he'd listen to a lot of classic rock.

Another few songs that will go on my Duke playlist when I get around to making it: You Put A Spell On Me and Dangerous Hands both by Austin Giorgio, Fangs by Neoni, 100 degrees by Kenzie, basically everything by Steven Rodriguez (there's not a lot, but it's all so sexy), and Play With Fire by Sam Tinnesz ft. Yacht Money.

Okay, I admit defeat, Duke Devlin Playlist Post coming soon. (Songs he listens to, not songs about him.)

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

I'm not going to pick just one, I can't, but I'll give you my top ships: Mastershipping (Kaiba), Minorshipping (Ryou), Snareshipping (Joey). Poly ships: Mumbleshipping (Kaiba + Ryou), Rollshipping (Joey + Ryou), and Petshipping (Kaiba + Joey). Okay, that's just... all my Duke ships. XD But they're all so good!

I'm intrigued by the idea of Ishizu x Duke, which doesn't have a name. I'm not sure they really know what to make of each other, but I think that keeps them intrigued with each other. I think a first date with them, or even just a flirting scene, could be real fun. She's serious and scholarly, he's fun and free-spirited. They could balance each other.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Him and Tristan, Chaseshipping I think. I think they could be friends just fine, I just don't see the chemistry there.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I'm leaving out ship characters for the sake of this question.

I actually think he and Mai could be really good pals, they'd go shopping and talk about bfs/gfs and have a good time. They also both own convertibles, so you know they have some of the same tastes.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

One thing that's always fun for me is Duke's flirting. Can't say I'm a master of writing flirtation, but I do my best to make Duke look like a master of it, because he is. I do generally just love writing him so much, though. He's one of the least angsty characters that I write, so he always puts me in a happier headspace.

In my fic Rock Bottom, he's a solid friend to Seto without being too nosy, which Seto appreciates so much. They understand each other on an intellectual level, but even after Seto's like "no thanks" to a relationship, Duke makes it clear that he's always free to change his mind in a no-pressure way. He's supportive but not nosy. I've got a chapter coming up (spoilers) in RB Season Three where Seto just needs somewhere to chill and lay low, hide from reality, and Duke's like, "I won't say a word to anyone that you're here, it's fine, no explanation needed, just take a deep breath pal." Doesn't ask what's going on, just takes him in for the night. (Also negotiates him into cuddles, but that's separate lol.)

He's just there for people, doesn't need answers (unless things are bad enough that some kind of involvement is just necessary).

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

I like when people fill out the details of him balancing his responsibilities between his game shop and managing DDM, or flesh out his relationship with Pegasus even if it's not central to the story. There's just so much more to this boy that we don't get to see, and that stuff just feels like such a necessary backdrop to the rest of his life.

23. Favorite picture(s) of this character?

DSOD did this boy right. He's just so pretty. :')

But also, look at this boy pretending to read while he eavesdrops. And he set up that hammock so dang high off the ground? Looking down on everybody? No, boy has the high ground, tactical advantage. I love him.

And wait, what's that? The most Mastershipping moment in the entire anime, you say? Show me!

Oh. Oh dear. ;P But, for so many reasons, I'll genuinely never get over this scene.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

I'm gonna try to stick to canon behaviors and traits for this and not let headcanons influence it too much.

ZEN/Hyun Ryu from Mystic Messenger has the same "I'm pretty and I know it" vibe as Duke and shares the casual-but-constant flirting behavior (also ponytail bros). This is a fun comparison for me because their hair and eye colors are also exact opposites.

From Nanbaka, I'd have to go with Uno, who can be abrasive at times with his enemies/rivals, doesn't let his friends fight alone, and shares the "ladies love me, I know I'm pretty, look at how well I take care of my luscious long hair" confident attitude. Also like Duke, there's a good few times where a friend is doing something/rash or unwise, and he tries to talk reason to them. Also obsessed with games, so they have that hobby in common. He also compulsively flirts with every woman in the vicinity (except the warden, because she's terrifying and he knows better). Real smooth operator, even with the dudes.

From UtaPri, I'd have to go with Ren Jinguji. Look, they're even hammock bros! Exceptionally confident, but also a bit mysterious. Flirty with the ladies, not that he even needs to try that hard. Actually pretty laid back and down to earth most of the time.

He also just moves the way I imagine Duke moving, with that fluid grace of a man's who's totally comfortable in his own skin. Just look at him!!!! LOOK AT THE HIP! *chefs kiss*

Another thing all these boys have in common is a strong fashion sense in addition to a strong sense of showmanship (ZEN as an actor and Ren as an idol, this is obvious, but Uno just can't help showing off lol), two great traits that Duke also has.

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!

Honestly, I can imagine him using "yo" a lot, not exactly a phrase, but a slang term. If anyone tells him something like "that's not cool anymore" he just responds with "it is when I say it ;)"

If we're leaning into my headcanons of him as a good cook, maybe he sometimes uses "now we're cooking with gas!" He probably has to explain this to Tristan and/or Joey, which launches him into the discussion of gas vs electric stoves. He's a strong believer in gas stoves being superior. I wouldn't say he's a snob when it comes to cooking, but there's certain things in the kitchen that he has a strong opinion on.

Bonus Headcanon

Duke Devlin's top Halloween Costumes: some kind of imp/demon/devil (let your imagination run wild with this one, because he definitely did), one of his Monster World OCs, the Phantom of the Opera, vampire, ninja.

[basicallyjaywalker]

Screw-Up

I should be writing an essay, but brain is buzzing with Ivy and Ronin thoughts so have some banter for them ft. Ivy being a terrible mechanic

no proofing OR editing. enjoy unfiltered rook brain

Word Count: 640

"You're gonna strip those screws if you tighten 'em anymore."

Ivy looked up at Ronin from the small robot on their desk. She'd taken from a scrap heap outside Stiix's limits. It was a rusted piece of garbage, but cute. Plus, she saw the Borg Industries logo on it. Flipping this baby would net them a pretty penny.

Ronin stood against the wall of the pawn shop's back room, arms crossed. He'd been out looking for something too, "big score," he told her. By the looks of it, he either put it away already or wasn't able to grab it.

"I'm not tightening 'em, I'm loosening 'em," she muttered. What she didn't tell Ronin was that she'd been "loosening" these screws for almost fifteen minutes. The cursed things didn't wanna come out.

Ronin pushed off from the wall and walked over to her, standing at her side and watching her fiddle with a small Phillips head screwdriver and the back panel of the machine.

"What's the rule, Ives?" he asked.

"Righty tighty, lefty loosey."

"And what side am I on?"

"My left."

He shook his head. "Check your hands, write something in the air."

She rolled her eyes, but did so, frowning when her right hand almost collided with his face as she raised it.

"Shit."

"You've been turning it the wrong way. That's why you're tightening it... and stripping it."

Ivy muttered a few more curses and stood up. "Damn stupid machinery, this is why I stick to the scrolls..."

"Then you're gonna love what I brought home."

She turned to him. "What'd you get?"

A smirk pulled on his lips. "Well, I paid a little visit to the Library of Domu, took one of their special scrolls, written by a guy named 'Yang.' Supposedly, it's the only one of its kind."

"Not for long," Ivy grinned and ran out to the front of the shop, checking the disorganized shelves. There were a few scrolls she faked before, namely novelty pirate maps, scattered around. Ronin watched her sort and scan.

"It's not on any of those," he finally said.

Ivy stopped, turning to him. "Where is it then? You didn't bring it back to the office."

He nodded at an ugly vase in the corner. Ivy went over shooting him a curious look. Glancing inside, a rolled-up piece of aged paper stared back at her. She picked it up, unwrapping its old green ribbon tie and gingerly unfolding it. Her eyes darted around, taking in the details of old glyphs. She liked that they were glyphs. Pictures were easier to replicate than words.

She let out a low whistle. "Damn, Ronin. Who do you think would want this?"

"Anyone worth their salt who's studying old fighting methods would want a copy. The library itself would pay a fortune for the original. How quick do you think you could copy it?"

"Depends on how detailed. Exactly like this? Two days, tops, uninterrupted. One day, if you don't mind me taking creative liberties."

"We'll see how much demand we get after the news breaks."

"You sure no one's gonna wanna take it back?"

Ronin walked over and took the scroll from her, wrapping it back up and tucking it back in the vase. "Of course they do, that's why we hide it." He reached a hand up to ruffle her black hair, missing when she ducked away, laughing a little in triumph.

"Nice try. So, you gonna help me fix that robot up?"

"Sure, do you know what it's for?"

"No clue, but it's Borg-made. Figured even if I screwed it up, the scrap would be worth enough to make it work."

Ronin chuckled. "Well, let's see if the screws are messed up enough to warrant scrapping it." He clapped her shoulder and they walked back to the office.

[koobio]

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom: When Freedom Becomes a Double-Edged Sword

We all know about the direct sequel The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and how it managed to use the same game world and similar gameplay mechanics as its predecessor, yet still make enough differences that it warrants a whole new game. One of those additions are the new mechanics brought by Link’s new hand, allowing him to freely explore the upgraded game world through building, merging, and reversing time. These innovations enhance player agency, enabling nearly endless creativity when it comes to problem-solving. However, this abundance of freedom increases the risk of players encountering the paradox of choice, where an overload of options can lead to indecision or reliance on the most efficient solutions, bypassing the creativity the mechanics are designed to inspire. When players gravitate toward familiar or straightforward approaches, they may fail to explore the full potential of these new mechanics, diminishing their overall gameplay experience. As a result, Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK) risks being perceived as a mere extension of Breath of the Wild (BOTW), rather than a completely separate game.

Before going in-depth about what TOTK did wrong, I will go into what it did right. The main complaint was the lack of traditional dungeons that were typical of all the other past Zelda games. BOTW did have dungeons, but not like the typical ones avid fans of the franchise were looking forward to. As discussed in the Journal of Geek Studies, this design decision aligns with Nintendo’s broader efforts to innovate within open-world game structures, allowing for a more interconnected environment where the entire map acts as a “meta-dungeon��� (Schut, 2020). One could say that the whole map in itself is one big dungeon for Link to explore and the shrines also provided some more specific challenges. While BOTW did have some more themed dungeons in each region, TOTK made significant upgrades to the types of puzzles and bosses found within its dungeons. Additionally, TOTK added major affordance upgrades, and therefore increased agency within the game, with Link’s new abilities. As Macklin and Sharp (2016) note, affordances empower player creativity and enable new problem solving strategies. The possibilities for exploration in TOTK seem endless, but as Schwartz (2005) explains, too much freedom can lead to decision paralysis, leaving players unsure of where to start or what path to take.

Agency is a key feature in open-world RPGs. Without agency, player’s may not feel like they are in total control, which can significantly hinder immersion and gameplay satisfaction, as supported by research on player choice in open-world games (Macklin & Sharp, 2016; Iyengar & Lepper, 2000). TOTK is not short of agency and affordances so player’s are allowed to do what they want, when they want, wherever they want. Allowing players to freely interact with a variety of objects and NPCs makes the game feel more personal and allows the game to introduce game mechanics in an organic way.  Additionally, agency gives players the opportunity to experience the same game differently, depending on the choices they make during gameplay. Although, these choices may not always be as straight-forward as you may think. Having an abundant number of choices to choose from can lead to a phenomenon known as the paradox of choice. 

The paradox of choice occurs when one is faced with too many options and they must choose one. As Schwartz (2005) explains, an abundance of options can overwhelm decision-makers, often leading them to default to more familiar or efficient choices.I frequently faced this when playing TOTK since I just wanted to do everything because I loved playing the game so much. In the end, all those choices made me feel overwhelmed and so I just ended up doing the main quest or one of the side quests that I had already started instead of starting a new one. This is a clear example of how choice overload can lead players to fall back on a “default” option (Iyengar & Lepper, 2000). Players may become paralyzed from all the things they are able to do in the game (B. Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice, 2005), but this does not last very long since the player can always go back to finishing up the main quest. Instinctively going back to the main quest may be a result of choice overload and cause one to fall back on the “default” choice, which in TOTK is the main quest. Choice overload can also occur during combat, since Link’s new abilities allow for more creativity in defeating enemies. Players are often faced with a dilemma when choosing what strategy to use when defeating enemies and completing puzzles. While dilemmas make the game more challenging, players frequently choose the more effective or familiar option (S. Lyengar & M. Lepper, When Choice is Demotivating: Can One Desire Too Much of a Good Thing?, 2000), making the game seem predictable and “boring”.

Efficiency and creativity are strategic factors that are commonly sought after by players when faced with choice overload. A sense of familiarity is commonly faced when returning players engage in combat, since the combat mechanics that are in BOTW were brought over to TOTK. While familiarity is unavoidable as TOTK is a direct sequel to BOTW, it also created an extra obstacle for players to use new mechanics. TOTKs added mechanics allow for more creative ways to defeat enemies and complete puzzles, but because of choice overload, players often choose the more familiar or efficient option (S. Lyengar & M. Lepper, When Choice is Demotivating: Can One Desire Too Much of a Good Thing?, 2000), leading players to ignore, whether consciously or unconsciously, the more creative strategies. For instance, when exploring, players may encounter enemies where they have to think on their feet very quickly so that they don’t die. Creative options may be deemed more risky as opposed to familiar options, such as using a sword while spamming the “Y” button. If the player had more time to think, they could’ve made a more elaborate contraption that could defeat the enemies by itself or create a weapon that is tailored to the type of enemy they will be facing. Sometimes, players simply do not have the time to do this nor the patience, unless they are a hardcore gamer.

 The level of dedication players give to a game can affect their overall experience of said game, both negatively and positively. Harcore gamers will choose creativity over efficiency, especially in systems with robust affordances like those in TOTK, which were intentionally designed to accommodate various playstyles (Nintendo Co., Ltd., 2023; Macklin & Sharp, 2016). Casual gamers on the other hand will choose the “safest” or the most efficient option to save time, potentially overlooking the creative opportunities TOTK’s new mechanics offer (Iyengar & Lepper, 2000). While hardcore gamers experience the game in its entirety, casual gamers are only experiencing a portion of what TOTK has to offer. This consequence leads to casual players thinking TOTK is too similar to BOTW or is boring, not knowing that it is due to their own decisions that made them have that experience. Although, the blame cannot be placed entirely on the players since they are simply playing the game. They did not create the game and therefore do not know exactly how the developers intended for players to play through the game. 

We should not play the blame game when it comes to TOTK having too much freedom, we can only give suggestions, as players, that can help balance out the level of agency and amount of affordances given to players. Developers and players alike must find ways to navigate this balance to ensure the game is both exciting and satisfying. For developers, the challenge lies in providing enough freedom to allow for creative exploration while also guiding players to ensure they make use of the game’s mechanics. The addition of Link’s new abilities in TOTK, such as building, and merging, increases player agency but also introduces complexity (Nintendo Co., Ltd., 2023). Developers have provided guidance in the beginning of the game where Link must navigate the Great Sky Island and restore his hands’ powers, but including more areas in the game that force the player to really use these new found powers, even as the game progresses, will surely help integrate these mechanics in players’ strategy pool. As Macklin and Sharp (2016) suggest, clear affordances that communicate the potential of the game’s mechanics can help players avoid feeling lost or unsure of how to proceed. By offering players freedom, but also subtly nudging them towards new strategies or goals, developers can enhance creativity while minimizing the frustration that comes with choice overload (Schwartz, 2005). Furthermore, developers should implement systems that make failure or experimentation feel rewarding rather than punishing. Schwartz (2005) notes that a fear of failure cna discourage players from trying more creative solutions. In TOTK, failure can be part of the fun, especially with the ability to reverse time or build tools, but ensuring that players feel safe to explore these options is key. Therefore, providing a safety net or a forgiving system can encourage creativity, especially for players who might shy away from riskier, more imaginative solutions (Iyengar & Lepper, 2000). For players, navigating the balance between the freedom and guidance means actively choosing how to engage with the game’s systems. Players can combat choice overload by focusing on one aspect of the game at a time, rather than trying to master everything at once. This approach can help alleviate the feeling of being overwhelmed and allow players to appreciate the depth of the game’s mechanics. It’s also important for players to embrace the concept of experimentation. A Lyengar and Lepper (2000) emphasize, creativity often emerges when players feel empowered to try new things without the burden of choosing the “right” path. By accepting that failure is part of the creative process, players can experience TOTK in a more fulfilling and inventive way. Ultimately, the key to enjoying TOTK lies in striking the right balance between exploration and guidance, both from developers and players. A well-guided, yet free experience ensures that players can fully engage with the game’s rich mechanics and world.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom aimed to build upon the success of its predecessor, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, by expanding its open-world experience and introducing innovative new  mechanics. However, the game’s abundant freedom also brings challenges. While its design encourages creativity and player agency, the lack of constraints risks overwhelming players, causing them to default to familiar and efficient strategies rather than exploring the game’s full potential. This phenomenon, tied to concepts like the paradox of choice and choice overload, highlights how excessive freedom can inadvertently hinder engagement with the game’s new systems. A careful balance between freedom and guidance is essential when crafting a compelling open-world experience. Developers can mitigate these issues by incorporating subtle guidance mechanisms, encouraging experimentation through forgiving failure systems, and promoting exploration without overwhelming players. Similarly, players can embrace creativity and experimentation, recognizing that the joy of discovery lies in trying new approaches and learning from mistakes. By addressing these dynamics, Tears of the Kingdom and other open-world games can find harmony between open-ended exploration and structured engagement, allowing players to fully immerse themselves in both the mechanics and the narrative. This balance ensure that freedom enhances, rather than diminishes, the player’s gaming experience, maintaining the allure of The Legend of Zelda franchise.

Bibliography

Barry Schwartz. (2005). The paradox of choice. TED Talks. Retrieved from TED Official Website.

Lyengar, S. S., & Lepper, M. R. (2000). When choice is demotivating: Can one desire too much of a good thing? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79(6), 995-1006.

Macklin, C., & Sharp, J. (2016). Affordances and agency in video game environments. International Journal of Role-Playing, 6, 56-71.

Nintendo Co., Ltd. (2023). Ask the Developer: Chapter 5 - The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. Retrieved from Nintendo Official Website.

Schut, K. (2020). Immersion and alienation in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Journal of Geek Studies, 7(1), 15-28.

Schwartz, B. (2005). The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less. Harper Perennial.

[jodilinbio]

One night in 1991, bored out of my mind, I stumbled upon a fascinating service where I could leave voicemails. I started having fun, leaving edited messages from one machine on others, sharing outgoing messages, and generally getting creative with the system. It was part of a large magazine business.

On another evening, I was reorganizing my collection of tapes—conversations, pranks, and edits. Suddenly, I got a bad feeling. Something was telling me to call Andy and have him make backup copies through the speakerphone. I thought that maybe I should hide the tapes with Kim or disguise them by recording over store-bought ones. I knew that taping over the tabs of unwanted tapes could turn them into blanks, but I didn’t have enough of those to spare. Foolishly, I ignored my gut feeling, convincing myself I was being paranoid. After all, Andy had some copies.

The next morning at 10:30, I was startled awake by a knock on the door. I assumed it was Kim or Peter.

I was wrong. It was Chief B of the local police department, and with him were a detective named Carol and a couple of male officers. They had a search warrant.

“Don’t worry,” Carol reassured me as we sat in the kitchen while Chief B complimented my looks. “It’s not like on TV. They won’t ransack the place.”

That did little to comfort me.

I felt like a child again, watching helplessly as they went through my belongings, just like when my mom would clean out my room, tossing whatever she deemed unworthy, no matter how much I treasured it. I had the same problem with the staff in Brattleboro and Valleyhead.

The officers went straight for my tapes, taking every blank they could find. They even took my journal, which was on the kitchen table, though I got it back the next day.

In the South Deerfield/Greenfield/Northampton area, prank calls were treated like serious crimes, unlike in Springfield, where they were just seen as harmless petty pranks. Still, this was Massachusetts, and it was only a misdemeanor. Jail wasn’t a risk. Instead, I got a year of probation, which included a monthly $10 fee and mandatory counseling.

I connected with a woman named Cassandra from the only agency that made home visits, crucial since I didn’t drive or have access to public transportation. Cassandra was wonderful, and we were mutually attracted to each other, though she remained strictly professional. At 46, she was 20 years older than me at the time.

By late 1991, I was more miserable than when I first moved to South Deerfield nearly a year earlier. Tammy told me that she and Mom were considering moving me to Connecticut, closer to her, which stirred mixed emotions. While Tammy and I were getting along better, our lifestyles and interests were still worlds apart.

Back in the late ’80s, Mom and Tammy had suggested the Norwich Housing Authority, where I could live near Tammy with subsidized rent since I was low income, but I’d refused because I didn’t want to leave Andy. I wouldn’t realize until later, when I finally moved there in early 1992, that it wasn’t the right time back then. Everything has its time, I suppose.

Once I knew I was moving, I ran up a $1,400 phone bill under a fictitious name, and things went from bad to worse.

Much, much worse.

Before the move to Norwich, I had the same bad feeling I’d had when the idea was first proposed years earlier. I couldn’t pinpoint it, but every instinct told me something was wrong—something bad was going to happen.

But what choice did I have? I felt trapped, with no way out. I could stay in South Deerfield, feeling isolated, miserable, and alone, or I could take a chance in Norwich. At least in Norwich, I’d have my nieces nearby, even if Tammy and I didn’t share much in common.

So, I packed my things, and in early February 1992, Bill came to pick up Shadow and me.

Norwich was smaller than Springfield but bigger than the small town of Salem, where Tammy lived. Tammy’s house, a three-bedroom in a beautiful wooded area about 20 minutes from the coast, was a bit cramped for five people, but it was lovely.

The projects where I was moving to were located at the end of a long road on top of a hill. Bill and I met Tammy at the start of the road. We got out of our cars to chat briefly. While they talked, acting as if I wasn’t there, I glanced at the street sign. Beneath the street name, it said “Dead End.” I stared at those words—Dead End. Was it trying to tell me something? Maybe, because the next four months would be a complete nightmare.

“I don’t know how I know this,” I told Tammy, “but we’re making a mistake. Something’s wrong—like really wrong.”

“What’s wrong is that you’re being selfish, spoiled, and negative,” she snapped. “Where else would you go anyway? Back to South Deerfield? Back to Springfield?”

Why did people always confuse realism with honesty with negativity and rudeness?

“Give me enough money to get to Arizona, and I swear I’ll pay you back, no matter how long it takes,” I begged.

But Tammy and Bill ignored me, got back in their cars, and took me down that dead-end road.

I knew deep down that Arizona was the answer to my problems. Most of them anyway. Somehow, I just knew I was meant to be there. Life wouldn’t be perfect there—no place on earth is—but New England had nothing for me. If I’d known at the time what lay ahead, I could have told myself, “Just hang on for 102 days and you’ll be free.”

But I didn’t know, and the feelings of depression, anxiety, and hopelessness only grew stronger as I hit rock bottom.

[kurishiri]

05 . . . alfons main story

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— cw: maybe some subtle self-destructive or self-harmful behavior.

Alfons: Good morning, little miss robin.

(Mn... this voice...)

Kate: ...——!!

Alfons: Whoops.

I jumped awake with a start, and Alfons, whose face was right next to my ear, distanced himself in response,

and while sprawled on the bed, a bright smile played on his lips.

Alfons: I see we went all the way, didn’t we?

Kate: Ah, ah... ah...

Alfons: Oh dear me, such heavy breathing... If my memory doesn’t deceive me, I do believe I have not done a single thing — this morning, at least — that would warrant such a reaction.

Kate: Ahhh!! Don’t make me remember!

That’s right... just like what had happened before, the memories of last night remained obstinately in my head.

(I... I thought he was my lover again... and we... we did...)

But, at the end of the day, the fault lay with Alfons, as he was the one who had deceived me into making love.

With all the hatred I could muster, I threw that smile a glare of my own.

Alfons: You do wear what you want to say all over your sleeve. So, go on now, throw me the most colorful insults you can muster. I will be here to listen and take them in.

Kate: Deceiving me like that again and manipulating my heart like that too, just how awful and dastardly can you get!

Alfons: Is that all? Your insults are about as colorful as a blank canvas.

(I swear, this man...)

Kate: You... you devilish fiend!

Alfons: Ahha! A ‘devilish fiend,’ she says!

A: Now we’re talking. Its wording does fit with your love for the theatrics.

As though making fun of me, he clapped his hands together in an applause, but then his brows furrowed, perhaps suddenly affected by my words.

Alfons: But, even so, is ‘devilish fiend’ not going too far... This is to the man who was your ‘lover,’ after all.

A: And to think, last night you were begging me for more while looking so very pleasured...

Those eyes seem to see right through my thoughts, and I couldn’t help but feel taken aback.

Alfons: In fact, you looked so much so, I reckon your ardent breathing might have been heard by everyone in the castle last night.

(Ardent…? No way… that can’t be true… I don’t remember doing…)

Alfons: …It would appear our relationship has become something more than a mere one night stand, no?

My face, initially pale, felt like it was burning in an instant.

Kate: But… but that sort of relationship… I…

——did not ask for it, is what I wanted to say, but then the words got caught in my throat.

I couldn’t help but remember that I did indeed cling onto the pleasure he had given me last night.

I had thought, Right now, I just want to stay like this… and whether it was because romantic feelings induced by an illusion or my own volition——

(That, I… I don’t know.)

When I fell silent, Alfons took that as a sign to continue, like he was enjoying this.

Alfons: Hehe, yes, that’s right. If you are to blame anyone in this, without a doubt, every last ounce of it lies with me.

A: So, you could very much sue me, and the ruling would be in your favor. Well, what do you plan to do?

…was what he smilingly said without a drop of shame to be seen.

And that very smile irritated me, to be sure, but at this point I wasn’t sure what I should do.

With a single word of his being enough to change my complexion, I must be something like a toy to him.

(But I won’t let him play me like that anymore…)

Kate: I… I won’t sue you.

Alfons: My, aren’t you a magnanimous one.

Kate: But I refuse to get caught up in your whims any longer.

Alfons: Oh, so this is a declaration of war. I do find your bravery charming.

A: ——But a war cannot be won with words alone. So what do you plan to do then?

[1] I won’t tell!

[2] I’ll find out your weakness. (+4 / +4)

[3] That’s just what I was about to think about.

Kate: About that... I will find a weakness of yours... or something similar.

Alfons: My weakness, huh…

A: Well, I must say your kindness knows no bounds to so openly reveal your hand like that. You have my thanks.

(Oh, shoot, now I’ve done it…!)

Alfons’ smile told me he was enjoying this to the fullest.

Kate: A-anyway! I don’t want any more of those illusions from here on out.

Alfons: Do you despise illusions that much?

Kate: I mean… I just don’t want to let the things that are important to me slip by.

Illusions cannot amount to or become reality.

Kate: Every second I’m not in reality, something like that may slip past my consciousness.

My words came out in a murmur, and in response Alfons flashed me a pitying smile.

——It was as though he was saying I did not yet know what ‘reality’ truly was.

Alfons: ...If we are talking about such things, there is nothing more important than pleasure, Miss Kate.

A: Life is but a tragedy, after all. And so, we require an escape, or entertainment, so to speak. Such is the case, is it not?

A: The things that scare you, and the things that make you sad... why not paint aaall of it over with fun and just forget about it all?

His voice seemed to tempt me, and from above, he took my fingers, gently intertwining them with his own.

I knew I should reject him, tell him to stop, and yet,

That gesture, and the sensation of his fingers around mine——for some reason, it seemed to pierce through the most vulnerable place in my heart.

(...I knew it.)

(Whenever Alfons touches me like this...)

(...it’s always when I feel as though I’m about to be consumed by negative emotions.)

Fear, sadness, and other such feelings… his sweet coaxing would flip those all over, chasing them out of my heart.

(Or, on the flip side, it could also be said that he knows what my weaknesses are…)

But anyway, it seemed that it was less so that he was using me for his own pleasure,

and more so he became a place where I could escape to.

(So, maybe that’s why… in spite of everything, I…)

I couldn’t bring myself to fully pin him as an utter fiend.

(But still…)

Kate: I don’t think it’s healthy… to just forget about everything that hurts.

Alfons: We are all meant to forget though, Miss Kate. To forget everything is the same as natural purification.

A: And putting all that aside, would you not say the ‘non-healthy’ lifestyle is ever more appealing?

A: Living in good health is what makes life a bore, no?

His words always seemed to insinuate the opposite of what was proper.

But, it was strange——even though I knew that, his words still resonated gently in my heart.

(Surely, the more harsh reality is, the more painful it becomes.)

Alfons: How about I make a prediction.

His voice made me look up.

There was no doubt in me that whatever he would ‘predict’ was nothing helpful.

But even so, I couldn’t help but feel my heart race in a tad bit of anticipation.

Alfons: When it comes to yesterday’s events, you will remember not the gruesome site of that massacre,

A: but most definitely rather how you so very shamelessly and provocatively had sex with me.

Kate: Wha…!?

(Prediction, my butt! That’s even less helpful than an outdated pence!)

Kate: …That won’t happen!

Alfons: Ahha! Your shyness is only wasted here, yes?

A: To think this is all it takes for you to blush so furiously… you really are an adorable one, aren’t you.

I slapped away the hand that played with my flushed cheeks.

Kate: I’m so angry that I’m red, thank you very much!

Alfons: Then your angry face is quite a wonderful sight to behold.

Kate: …!? Stop with the empty flattery…

Alfons: Let’s play together again, Miss Kate.

Kate: Wh—hey, wai…

Alfons quickly came out from under the sheets before departing the room,

leaving only a lingering scent behind.

Kate: He left…

Last night would mark the second night he left just like that, making it hard to believe that we had been lovers.

Seeing the door close on the back that did not turn back even once, I felt a twinge of pain in my heart…

And that must have been because of the romantic feelings his illusion had imbued in me.

Burying my complicated feelings under my clothes, I got myself ready,

before leaving the room to inquire about the mission.

I managed to catch William in the lounge, and he was the one who told me about the details of the incident.

William: The men we had captured were sent to a storage that Crown was utilizing in secret.

Kate: Were you able to bring out any information from them?

William: Indeed, they answered all the questions asked to them last night.

W: They claimed that they were employed by the director of the almshouse to enact the ‘purification’ of the slums.

Kate: Purification…?

Cleansing and purifying… the connotation of those words was so different from what had actually happened.

(An almshouse should offer the impoverished jobs and food, and yet…)

(They claim that killing people there is an act of ‘purification’…?)

William: Do you think you will be able to write about this in your report?

William asked as I was struggling to understand.

Kate: Not quite yet… the two ‘Cursed ones’ who were on the mission… I can’t think of any sin they could have committed.

K: In fact, if not for those two, I feel there would have been more victims.

William: Even if they are murderers, who could bind you and distort your thoughts?

Kate: …Without those, there would be things they would be unable to protect, is what I think.

William: So I see the little robin is quite intelligent and down to earth.

William smiled in a good mood, accepting my words without affirming or denying them.

William: So, do you think you will be able to continue going on missions?

Kate: …What do you mean?

William: I mean to ask whether the memories of last night were too much.

(The memories of last night——)

I knew when he said that, he was referring to the mission that I had been fooled into thinking was nothing but a play.

——But the voice of a certain someone that cast something like a curse on me made me remember a very different memory from last night.

‘When it comes to yesterday’s events, you will remember not the gruesome site of that massacre——’

(Ack, of all times to remember Alfons’ prediction…!)

The trembling and fear were replaced by that indecent prediction of his.

(I’m trying to think of things that actually matter here, so shoo, shoo!)

I tried my hardest to drive away the phantom of Alfons in my mind.

William: Kate? [surprised]

Kate: Sorry, I’m alright. As for the question at hand, yes, I should be able to go on missions without issue from here on.

K: So please let me know about the missions henceforth.

William: You and Alfons will be on a mission in the near coming days.

W: …In several days’ time, I plan to go and speak with the person who employed the men.

Kate: If it turns out he actually is the one behind everything… that would bring this case to a close then?

William: Well, I know as well as you. The director of the orphanage from yesterday had also used the word ‘purification,’

W: but he had shown no signs of having conspired with the director of the almshouse.

W: It would seem their ideals align, and the words they use closely resemble each other’s. …However, there is no connection between them.

Kate: So in other words, there is someone else connecting them… a human above them who is pulling the strings?

William: ——That would fall on Crown to find the answer.

—— Time skip, to the city ——

Roger: So you’re saying you wanna find Al’s weakness.

Liam: And so here we are, tailing his heels. You’re quite naughty yourself, aren’t you, Kate?

Kate: Sorry for dragging you guys into this, but thank you for helping.

Liam: Oh, absolutely no worries. I’d do anything if it meant I could be of some use to you!

——As for how we had gotten here, it started some time ago.

William had told me to rest today, and so I returned to my room, when on the way…

Alfons: ………

Though there wasn’t a mission today, I saw Alfons going out in the middle of the day.

And having run into Roger and Liam by chance, I asked them to help follow him.

(It must have been a sudden request on their part to accompany me on this, so I’ll need to thank them.)

I was sandwiched between the two as we walked, and I looked beside me to the left at Roger.

(Come to think of it…)

Roger’s Cursed ability allowed him to hear sounds from up to a hundred yards away.

(…So would that mean Roger, umm, heard what happened last night?)

A bout of anxiety suddenly hit, and my heart seemed to make an unpleasant sound.

Roger: Hm? What is it, lil lady?

Kate: Uhm, i-it’s nothing.

I turned away from him, and in that moment, I heard Roger raise his voice as though he just remembered something.

Roger: Ahh, for the record, I didn’t hear a single thing about what went on between you and Al. So you can relax.

Kate: Wh—!?

(Are you telling me Roger can hear my thoughts too!? Or wait, maybe the sound of my heart gave it away…!?)

My complexion paled and my posture stiffened, and seeing this, Roger waved a hand in front of me.

Roger: Hello, earth to Kate?

Kate: I-I’m fine! But anyway, what do you mean by you ‘didn’t hear a single thing?’ …I mean, with your ability…

Roger: Okay, calm down. I’m able to listen in only on sounds I want to hear with my ability.

R: Or I guess it’d be more accurate to say I trained myself to be able to do it.

R: When I first got my Cursed ability, I would hear sounds from all over, indiscriminately, and I was going through it.

Kate: Oh, so that’s how it is, thank goodness… I mean, umm, not to say that anything really happened between me and Alfons…

When I tried to deny any happenings last night in a panic, the two looked at me wryly.

Liam: …I dunno, Kate, I think it might be a tad bit difficult to deny it?

Roger: Forget about superlative hearing, even a normal person couldn’t say you were very subtle.

Kate: ………

Rendered speechless, I could only turn away from them, my face flushing from regret and embarrassment.

(Even though all of that was an illusion that Alfons had shown me, I really must have been crazy last night…)

I forced myself to turn back to Alfons’ direction, trying not to just book it right then and there,

when I saw him go down a dim staircase.

(Is there some store downstairs…)

Kate: What’s down there…?

Roger: Seems like a pub to me.

Liam: He does often go out drinking in the middle of the day.

(Oh wow, he is really living the unhealthy lifestyle… I thought going out to play at night and sleeping the day away was bad enough, but he even drinks in the middle of the day on top of that…)

And he even downed an entire cup of steaming hot tea without an ounce of hesitation, so I had a feeling that he didn’t take care of himself enough.

(I can’t help but feel a bit worried about him…)

(Wait, no, this is no time to worry over Alfons…)

(Right now, I’m here to get a hold of his weakness.)

(A weakness that I can use to possibly spread a troubling rumor about him, or something I can use as collateral…)

(We came here so we could find something like that!)

Roger: So what’s the plan? Are we heading in?

Kate: Yes, that’s the plan. Will you two come along as well?

Roger: For a beer, I will.

With a reasonable request, Roger nodded in response.

Kate: Of course, it’s on me!

When I turned toward the place Alfons had went into again and tried to step out, though,

Liam tapped me lightly on the shoulder.

Liam: Hey, we’ll out ourselves too easily if we just go in like this… so how about we dress up a bit?

to be continued…

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masterlist🪞 ╱ ko-fi ☕️

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ tags🏷️ ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ @drachonia @.comment or dm to be added or removed!

[orleans-jester]

“Well, yes, it’s a very special place,” Maddy said, her eyes on her husband, trying to figure out what he was up to. Oh, it was going to be a lovely surprise, she was sure. But that curiosity was strong, and she was trying to hunt for clothes in his demeanor and actions. Putting on coats - well, it was Halloween, it was autumn, it was getting chilly. But chilly enough to warrant the winter coats? “Not a midnight swim then?” She chuckled, buttoning up her own coat over her starry dress.

Even going towards the door, there was a certain chill in the air. More so than she would have expected at this time of year, on this side of the hemisphere.

A shiver went up her spine but it was one of anticipation. “Oh, Bastien baby, you’re up to something, aren’t you?” She asked, as he reached for the door that would bring them out onto the stretch of beach that was part of their home, that felt like theirs despite it really being Frank and Delta’s.

Home - of course it was. That beautiful day in the sun. All of the ones that came afterward. The obstacle course that was out there, playing with Diablo. Playing with Frankie. Watching the day-time Bastien relax a little once he realized that there truly was no one else there to judge them while they were in this place of judgement. Having a bathing suit that fit his bottom half and being there with his girlfriend, who never shied away from admiring him. Dreams come true.

“You’re - trying to make my dreams come true too?” She asked, her hand slipping into his as the air came through the now open door. She was already living the dream but of course, there were some that she had put away because it seemed highly unlikely. Bastien already said that he didn’t like the cold. So she made the decision then that it wasn’t going to happen because it wouldn’t be a dream come true if he wasn’t there.

The first thing that was immediately noticed was the snow. It was everywhere, it was impossible not to notice. And it was both kinds of snow too - Elsa gave them variety. On the top was a layer of fluffy, sparkling snow, untouched by any imprints or grime. But hidden beneath all of that fluffiness was equal parts packing snow, the perfect kind for making a snowman, for making those gritty crunching sounds under feet. Oh, how it all glittered, it bring so pure white that lights were not needed - it seemed to reflect off of the stars and the moon above, creating its own sort of hazy light.

The trees were frozen in place, turning from the heavy greens to dark grays. Frozen in time - that’s what it looked like. The only real touch of color were those flowers, standing straight up, the stems only just touched by the frost to keep them upright like that. And the cabin - Elsa may have gone a little fancy with the cabin. This was her chance to really be creative with her powers and so, she had taken it, creating a little paradise that was frozen so securely that there was even a fireplace that if lit, would not cause a single drop of water, nothing would thaw, at least for a couple of days.

And the water itself, frost spreading across it, perfect for skating if they so desired. It didn’t spread all the way out to the invisible Pleasure Island but it still went out pretty far, giving them more than enough room to do whatever ice-related activities that they might wish to do. It truly was a work of art beyond humanity.

And although it was definitely more cold out there with all of this ice and snow, than it otherwise would be, it was still quite bearable for these three humans, as long as they stayed bundled up, which, thankfully, they currently were.

Babysteps - Maddy took a couple of those now, her heeled feet sinking into the snow, which crunched satisfyingly beneath her feet. She looked over it all again, in complete shock, and then to Bastien - before the detail girl started to come out of her.

“We’ll need boots, and gloves, and hats, and a scarf!” She listed. “All of the things that we bought in Paris - and we’ll need some for Frankie too, with snow pants -" She rambled, before she paused, and leaned in and kissed Bastien, shutting herself up that way, and then backed up with a smile. “I have no idea how you did this, baby. You’re a miracle worker.”

"Yeah outside."

Bastien was trying to act casual, but he wasn't sure if he was pulling it off.

Elsa's text came in. That was all he was waiting for.

He stopped stalling.

"Well, I liked that day. It made the made like uh, like uh, you know, a special place." He put so much focus and energy on his earlier speech he was losing his words.

"We won't need out swimsuits tonight."

Bastien liked Frankie's coat was going to match what was going on outside.

More special because it wasn't fleeting.

Bastien thought about that one as all three of them strolled towards the doors that would lead them to the beach.

They'd be exiting he castle through a private area. They knew all the ins and outs and secret passages of the castle.

He paused at the door.

"Well, I do know it's more special than any beach ever could be no matter where we ever travel from here on out because this is our first beach and it's home. So yeah, that makes sense."

He knew he was getting off topic as he felt the cold and a delicate thumb moved slowly over the metal knob to feel the temperature and the texture. Bastien always paused for those nuances. He took in everything.

"But you know what? That was one of my first dreams you ever helped make come true. One of the really good ones. One I'd been dreaming of a long long tme. "

He squeezed it and started to turn it ever so slow. He was searching for the words.

"That's why I knew I had to find a way to make one of yours come true. I'll try to do more later. But we can start here on the beach like you did with me."

Then he opened the door.

The crisp air would swirl in around them.

"Come on."

A big wide smile would come over his droopy face. He'd be seeing it for the first time too. It might have been his vision, but Elsa would bring it to life and more.

"It's your cabin baby. It's your cabin in the snow. Just for us. We don't even have to leave home."

It wouldn't even look like a beach anymore after Elsa worked her magic. The water was iced over and the snow was hilly and begging to be sledded with Frankie. There perwinkle-ish light blue flowers were perfected frosted and in place making it like no winter forest Bastien had ever seen. It was magical and in their special colors too. The cabin being made of ice made it feel like palace ready for them to explore. He had every intention of actually sleeping in it with his family.

"It's like backyard dreaming, baby! All the fun of what you said you dreamed of doing in the north and all the safe of not actually being in the middle of nowhere."

Bastien liked that part. The complete winter solitude idea made him nervous after seeing a person freeze to death before. But this, this looked fun for him. Baby steps.

[mandatorywitchblog]

Is there anyone out there who truly finds minimalist tarot decks useful? Or are they just a pretty novelty?

I find tarot useful and illuminating to me because it’s heavily based on visuals, symbolism, and imagery, and those tend to be the things which I find easiest to divine from. Remove those and, well, I guess I don’t understand why you wouldn’t use geomancy or some other, less image-driven, form of divination.

(Also can I just say right now that “novelty” tarot decks get a bad rep. I don’t know whether this is a hill I’m willing to die on. But if something works I don’t care much if it isn’t Arkanely Aesthetic. It’s just that I don’t find cutesy minimalist decks to work for me.)

[mortispoxi]

After taking the time to really sit and process the roller coaster of information that was the recent People Make Games video about the drama surrounding Studio ZA/UM, I wanted to make this post to go over some of my thoughts that I had about the video. If you have not watched the video but are curious what people are saying about it or you have and you want to read someone else’s perspective, then I invite you to read through as I babble incoherently.

Overall, I thought it provided an interesting, in-depth look at the timeline of events leading up to Kurvitz, Rostov, and Hindpere’s dismissals while also giving us a proper inside scoop to the interpersonal relationships of both the former and current Studio ZA/UM employees. However, I do think the video has a couple of problems specifically with the way some of the information is presented on top of the fact that it loses focus partway through from the real issue which is the alleged fraud that took place by the investors to acquire the majority share within the company.

A big problem that I had with the video was the way in which Kurvitz behavior and final statement are disproportionately framed in the narrative. Now I am not about to go on a lengthy rant to dismiss everything Robert Kurvitz did to his friends during his time at the studio. In fact, the thing that I really liked about this video was how Chris Bratt, the writer and interviewer, holds no punches when it comes to the accusations of misconduct we heard from current Studio ZA/UM employees against him. Instead, I think it needs to be addressed that Bratt left out background context, whether intentionally or unintentionally I do not want to speculate, that could potentially explain what happened to everyone leading up to the expulsions to make Kurvitz appear far worse than how he might’ve been. I fully believe every word Argo Tuulik, Kaspar Tamsula, and Petteri Sulonen has said about working under Kurvitz and his inner circle so by piecing together all their statements to create a timeline of events the investors start to look far less innocent than how they portray themselves to be in the video.

It’s abundantly clear that Kurvitz was notoriously hard to work with. However, what’s also clear was the tremendous amount of stress everyone was under while also still being in the throes of burnout after working on the game nonstop for months. I think the investors (Kender, Haavel, and Kompus) purposefully set the team up for failure by creating impossible deadlines without informing the writers, approving Kurvitz and his inner circle to take time off while disallowing the others from taking theirs, and attempting to restructure the company in preparation to franchise Disco Elysium against Kurvitz wishes and thus he felt scared enough to push for his role to be de facto creative leader anywhere he could. What seems to be three full years of forcing everyone to crunch, miscommunicating when important deadlines were, setting impossible work standards to meet, and readying themselves to snatch more power within the company may have helped sow the seeds of animosity the writers began growing towards one another.

All of this is nothing new for those of us who have been keeping an eye on the drama from the start. We were told long in advance by the likes of Martin Luiga, who although left the project early on has been friends and worked alongside him for the better part of two decades, that Kurvitz possesses less than stellar leadership skills and that there was no merit in what the investors would end up accusing him of doing to warrant his dismissal. That confirmation was given long before the release of the PMG video and cements the idea in my mind that perhaps Kurvitz erratic behavior that was described by the current Studio ZA/UM employees was not the cause but rather a symptom of a much larger problem happening around him (i.e. a toxic work environment brought on by the investors using manipulation tactics to further stress and cause resentment amongst the collective). Yes, Kurvitz was at times uncooperative and dismissive towards his fellow employees, but this aspect of his character and the situation was played up to be a far greater problem in the PMG video than what the context suggests. I’m also inclined to believe this interpretation because Argo Tuulik, despite having legitimate, unresolved issues with his friend, does still regard Kurvitz very highly and even believes that he should still have artistic access to Elysium.  

When you think about it from this perspective, it makes perfect sense as to why Kurvitz was acting erratically around his fellow coworkers who eventually lashed out at him. On top of Kurvitz’s subpar leadership skills, he clearly was rapidly losing control of the situation which caused a great amount of stress for everybody involved as he scrambled in every which way to hold onto his position within the studio. It does not surprise me when it’s admitted by Sulonen that Kurvitz was thinking of taking the source code to potentially start over with a newly founded company since the situation was rapidly deteriorating and everyone was getting more and more frustrated with him and his inner circle. The impossible working conditions they found themselves in was a pressure cooker for the animosity and resentment building within the disillusioned group. Clearly the investors made their workers run themselves ragged in order to divide everyone and make it easier for them to take advantage of Kurvitz’s now frequent outbursts to finally push him out of their way.

Everything that I’ve said above can easily be discerned from the context clues found in the interviews from the current and former ZA/UM members. Which if you think about it is an unfortunate statement because Bratt does not seem to register the complaints of mismanagement by the hands of the investors from either side and instead only points the spotlight at Kurvitz’s past transgressions. What I am describing is one of the major issues I have with the PMG video. The video talking about the ongoing legal battle to determine if corporate fraud took place seemed to disproportionately focus on the problems Kurvitz and his inner circle had with other team members and not issuing a public apology to his former colleagues. Now that doesn’t sound all too bad on paper, right? If Kurvitz apologized, it could help begin the healing process and make for a good closer for the video. Well, that’s where the problem comes into play because Kurvitz response to Bratt’s request for comment regarding what Tuulik, Tamsalu, and Sulonen said about his poor conduct should not come as a surprise to anyone who had been paying attention. In the video, Bratt hails the email Kurvitz sent back to him as arrogant and dismissive which he then uses to accuse him of not standing with his fellow workers in solidarity and not taking accountability for his actions. However, right at the start of his interview, Kurvitz informs Bratt that at the behest of his lawyers he does not want the full interview to be published as they are worried Studio ZA/UM might take something he said as an admission of guilt and use it against him in a court of law. Therefore, when asked to comment about what his former colleagues said about him, he fires back an email that basically says that he wants the focus to be on the thing that really matters, the lawsuits and the shady activities of the investors. Bratt, clearly not liking his response, decided to attack his statement even though had Kurvitz given PMG what they wanted he could potentially be incriminating himself. Whether he denies or fully understands that his actions hurt others, the way he responded is 100% justified and did not deserve the level of vitriol he got from both Bratt and the public. It seems like a double standard that Ilmar Kompus can deny answering a question by claiming he cannot comment due to the ongoing lawsuit during his interview but when Kurvitz does it for the exact same reasons he is attacked. Again, Kurvitz is fully responsible to rectify the hurt he caused others but legally he’s in the clear and Bratt seemed to purposely neglect that aspect of the ongoing narrative.

Now, I’m not about to pull a whole reddit conspiracy in my write up. I do believe Chris Bratt, who directed this video, went into this with the very best of intentions to tell the full story with an emphasis on the workers who were affected by the situation. However, the problems that I’ve listed above make me worry what will be the takeaway from someone who is only a casual observer of the ZA/UM situation. Personally, I have been following this from the beginning so I’ve had a lot of time to develop my own insight into things but that’s usually not the case for most people. What I’m concerned about is whether Bratt may have unintentionally furthered the investors narrative by pushing people’s focus away from themselves and onto Kurvitz who has largely had the support of fans and outside viewers up until this point. Studio ZA/UM as it stands is desperate for a leg up in the PR battle it’s had with Kurvitz since October 1st, 2022. They lost so much support once the announcement was made that Kurvitz and his inner circle had been terminated, and lost even more upon the release of collage mode, that it makes logical sense that they want more people to be on their side so when the time comes for the studio to announce another game their reviews and sales numbers won’t immediately be tanked by angry fans. So, the fact that this video seemingly only held its focus on the misgivings of Kurvitz closing statement and personality instead of what is actually being fought over, alleged corporate fraud and theft of IP, may have unwittingly handed the investors that distraction that they have been looking for. Since the release of this video, I’ve seen an unfortunate mix of people arguing over the ethics of the situation, those switching sides to now support the studio, and outright calling for Kurvitz to lose the right to access his life’s work. This is not the outcome me and many other like minded fans want to see from this mess. At the end of the day, Elysium is Robert Kurvitz’s life work, and he deserves a chance to legally regain those rights even if he is a prideful and arrogant person. His personality should not dictate whether he is allowed to prove in a court of law that the investors took something that isn’t theirs. Bratt’s well-meaning but deeply misguided efforts to report on the ZA/UM situation may have done more harm than good. I consider this to be the biggest flaw of the video and the reason why the contents ultimately did not sit right with me despite the accuracy and importance of the reporting.  

Just as a quick reminder for those who aren’t entirely up to speed or want a refresher, the reason why Kurvitz and Studio ZA/UM are fighting over the IP rights in the first place started when Kurvitz was promised by the investors that if he signed over the rights to Elysium and his book he would eventually be able to buy back a portion of the shares to the company and upon release of the sequel buy back even more. At no point was anyone supposed to possess a majority percent of the shares in the company to remain equitable amongst all participants. So, Kurvitz signed this contract under the assumption that the investors would hold up their end of the bargain while in the short term he would get the funding needed to complete the rest of the game. Unfortunately, when Margus Linnamäe left his position within the company, Ilmar Kompus agreed to buy him out of his share allegedly using the money intended to produce the sequel thus acquiring the majority share which tipped the balance of power. Now, the IP rights are currently held by the company YESSIRNOSIR Ltd. which no one holds shares of but is still owned and controlled by sources within Studio ZA/UM. The lawsuit itself is Kurvitz claiming that the way Kompus bought into the majority share of the company was done illegally and should he be able to prove in a court of law that fraud took place it would immediately delegitimize and invalidate Kompus’s control which would then give Kurvitz and Rostov a chance to reclaim power along with all the subsidiaries of the company which includes YESSIRNOSIR Ltd.

From the way I saw it, it certainly felt like Bratt went out of his way to put blame on the deteriorating work environment and splintering of a two-decade old artist collective squarely on Robert Kurvitz shoulders. If I were to speculate, I think in his anger after not receiving the conclusion he had been hoping for from his interviewee, Bratt refused to acknowledge the very real fact that his hands are legally tied with the things that he can publicly talk about which had the unintentional consequence of villainizing Kurvitz. Bratt is still correct in his assessment that Kurvitz is arrogant and people were hurt by his actions but whether intentional or not misrepresenting how much Kurvitz and his inner circle was responsible for the strife while neglecting to even acknowledge the amount of meddling the investors were doing behind the scenes only detracts from his argument and puts into question who he’s really representing in his video.

[heybaetae]

Hello, loves! 

I have decided to share an action set I’ve made dedicated to blurring out captions and graphics in gifs with just one click. It’s very straight forward and includes a very short list of steps, but if I can help cut out a tiny fraction of the time creators take to make wonderful gifs, then I’m more than happy to do so. This process can feel very repetitive, so why not compile all the steps into an action and call it a day?

Requires: 

Basic gif making knowledge

Photoshop version with animation timeline

Below the cut is a thorough walk through of the action set and how to use it. I will explain the effects I included in the action and why, as well as some example images to follow if this process is something you’re new to! While I wouldn’t consider this post a full tutorial on how to blur captions manually (because there are plenty of those), I hope it’s still detailed enough that you find it helpful and purposeful enough to warrant downloading the action to save you some time! 

Of course, this is something a lot of gifmakers can do step-by-step in their sleep by now (and probably already have actions of their own method), but we all start out somewhere and I wanted to gift a little something to the newer creators who are still finding their footing in gif making and find this process as tedious (and admittedly confusing sometimes) as the rest of us. 

However, I want to make it clear that blurring captions is absolutely not required for your gifs to still be amazing! Please do not feel pressured to go through the trouble if it’s not something you want to do. It’s entirely a creative choice.

The download link will be at the very bottom of this post. Enjoy!

WHAT THIS ACTION SET INCLUDES:

Four very simple actions for blurring captions or graphics in gifs with just one click.

The action titled “normal blur” applies a modest amount of blur.

The action titled “more blur” applies a slightly greater amount of blur.

Two identical copies of the above actions, but without feathering.

WHAT THESE ACTIONS DO: 

Adds 3 pixels of feathering around your selection. This will soften the edges of your blur instead of making it look like a harsh box around the caption or graphic. If you prefer to skip this first step, just use one of the actions I included without it.

Adds a layer mask.

Re-selects your layer thumbnail.

Adds a radius of 3.0 pixels (normal blur) or 5.0 pixels (more blur) of Gaussian Blur to your layer depending on your preference. You can simply edit the smart filter to your liking if you prefer a different strength entirely.

Re-selects your layer mask so you can immediately make adjustments with a black or white paint brush if needed.

HOW TO INSTALL THE ACTION:

If your actions palette isn’t already open in photoshop, you can find it by going to Window > Actions. Download the action and open it in photoshop by going to File > Open and locating the .atn file from wherever you saved it. It should immediately show up in your actions palette.

HOW TO USE THE ACTION:

You’re gonna start off by making your gif as you usually do. Crop, resize, convert to smart object, and apply all your sharpen settings until your gif is to your liking. If you use Topaz Clean on your gifs, I recommend adding it after you run the action just to save time.

For the sake of this post, I colored my example so you can see how the finished result will look right away, but normally you should be doing all of these steps before you color your gif.

BASE GIF WITHOUT BLUR: 

Now you’re ready to start blurring the caption, except there are a few quick (but crucial) steps you need to do first in order for the action to work properly! If the action runs into any errors, it’ll definitely have something to do with not doing one of these steps, so be careful.

Ready? Okay, here we go...

4 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE RUNNING THE ACTION:

1. Duplicate your base layer. 2. Right click on the Smart Filters mask on your copied layer and select “Clear Smart Filters”.

This will revert the layer back to normal and give you a clean layer to work with. Technically, this step is optional, but you really don’t need any of your smart filters listed on this layer since the action is going to add a layer mask around your selection that will show these settings on the layer underneath, so they’re not necessary on your copy. Your sharpened gif will reappear after you run the action, don’t worry!

3. If need be, trim your copy on the animation timeline to the very beginning/end of where your caption appears in the gif. Use the left and right arrows on your keyboard to pan the red time indicator through the frames to locate the exact first and/or last frame(s) that your caption or graphic appears. Click and drag the edge of the layer after the red line (or before if you’re trimming the other end). This step will ensure that the blur ONLY appears atop the frames where the caption is visible, assuming the gif has some frames where the caption doesn’t appear like our example. If the caption is visible throughout the entire gif, of course you won’t need to do this step at all.

My animation timeline looks like this now:

But wait! What if your gif has two captions, but they each appear at a different time in the gif, one after the other? Then you’re gonna repeat steps 1 (drag the new copy to the top) and 2. So you might end up with three or more layers on the timeline depending on how many captions keep appearing during the gif with varying durations. Just trim each copied layer down to only show the caption that specific layer will be responsible for blurring. In that case, you’ll make your selections one at a time before running the action on each layer, respectively. I really hope that makes sense. It sounds like a lot, but it’s easy.

4. Make your selection! With your copied layer still highlighted, use the Rectangular Marquee Tool to make a selection box around the caption or graphic you want to blur. For a more custom or accurate selection, you can even use the Polygonal Lasso Tool, but that’s up to you. As long as you end up with those dancing ants around the caption like so:

TIP: Make the selection a few extra pixels bigger than the caption itself. This will leave some extra room for the feathering. Like I mentioned above, this effect will make the blur look less harsh around the edges and appear more seamless. 

Now that you’ve duplicated your base gif layer, cleared the smart filters, possibly trimmed it down, and made a selection, it’s time to use an action! 

I’m gonna use the normal blur action for this.

PLAY THE ACTION

Select your action of choice and press the play button.

Blink and you miss it, but boom. Blurred. 

Your layers should immediately look something like this:

Right away, you might notice a few things...

Firstly, your gif looks sharp again and your caption is now blurred. Go ahead and click on the Gaussian Blur smart filter and adjust the amount of blur if you’re not satisfied. I chose 3.0 pixels because it’s my go-to setting, but if you prefer something else, just change it. You can even edit that step within the action itself so you won’t have to do it every time! I won’t be offended.

Secondly, if you see that the feathering is still making some of caption show around edges, you didn’t do anything wrong. It just means the selection didn’t have enough extra pixels around the caption to blur them. Don’t worry about going back and repeating any steps from scratch. This is where some fine tuning comes in!

The action has your layer mask selected right now, so all you have to do is grab your paint brush tool and set it to the color white with a very low hardness. Go ahead and zoom your gif in a bit so you can see closer and paint over any edges that are still visible. If the caption is particularly animated like in our example (sometimes those little guys like to wiggle), pan through each frame and make sure no sneaky pixels of the caption pop through in any of the frames. 

If you think your selection was too big and the blur takes up too much space (it’s better to be safe than sorry), simply switch your brush to black and use it to erase the blur where it isn’t necessary. 

Hopefully, you’ll be left with something like this!

FINAL GIF WITH BLUR:

From there, you can select your base layer again and add your Topaz settings or any extra things you need to do and continue with the rest of your gif process. Convert to frames, set your speed, color your gif as usual, and save.

YOU’RE DONE!

Except.

WAIT AGAIN! What if your gif has multiple captions in different places, but their duration is the same throughout the whole gif? Can you make multiple selections on your copied layer instead of going through that whole duplicating hassle I mentioned above if they were to appear at different times? 

Yes, of course.

BASE GIF WITH MULTIPLE CAPTIONS:

Do all the above steps as usual. When you select your preferred Marquee Tool, make sure you also have the “Add to Selection” box at the top chosen as well.

You can then make a selection around as many captions as you need on the same layer.

Run the action. I used the more blur action on this example.

FINAL GIF WITH BLUR:

“Wow, Kelli, that saved me so much time!”

I know! You’re welcome. I really hope you find this action useful. I know it’s extremely simple, but I remember finding this whole process so daunting when I learned how to do it and I know I’m not the only one. Practice makes perfect, so I figured it was finally time someone bit the bullet and did the work for you instead of writing up another lengthy tutorial of how to do each step manually. I’ve talked to several people who still couldn’t figure out what they were doing wrong.

If you have any questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to send me a message. Please like this post if you download the action and consider reblogging it as well to help others out. :)

DOWNLOAD ACTION SET

[yet-another-trans-man-blog]

(Note I am ignoring the video essay for my comments here because these ideas are entirely my own, and I don't pretend to speak on behalf of anyone other than myself.)

I feel like I want to speak to this post because of how so many trans men often feel about your text posts and art, which can often be read as violent graphic dysphoric detail and trigger a lot of trans men with how they do not want moments where they do not pass to be seen as an invitation to be sexualized or have attention drawn to them in the way that your entire blog advocates for.

You have the right to make art and statements you do, and I hope you continue doing so.

The part that is usually the most emotional to people is where Orchard Blossom goes through the obstacle course in ways that will absolutely trigger some form of dysphoria, even secondhand, for people who are not trans women.

This is not inherently transphobic in the same way that your art isn't inherently transphobic.

the episode can be read as good faith sincerity with how it speaks to feeling excluded and the pain of yearning for a role that discourages you to achieve, always forced to put your head down and endure the expectations you have to squeeze yourself into- and the absolute joy of finally experiencing freedom and confidence to finally have-a-voice after so long of hiding, feeling like an inconvenience just for existing, and not wanting to take up space because you feel like you never deserved it

this is a near universal trans experience that any gender or lack there of can relate to in a gendered gate kept world.

The episode was written by cis people for a show that was always only ever concerned with cis women and the 3rd wave feminism that was lacking in the intersectionality that allows for terf/swerf/gender critical bigotry.

Also the constraints of it being a kid's show and limited with how short episodes are and how fast they are expected to be made. The episode was written by cis people with the voice of big mac being a father to a trans daughter who he had loosely talked to about but ultimately that doesn't give any creative power to the episode

Now a days we have more ways to push writers to consult with the communities and representatives of wider human conditions to represent without bad faith and misinformation.

Hateful characters and slurs even still have the power to be reclaimed and be warn as a badge of identification and recognition of a history and trauma so with how the show was a lighthouse for so many marginalized people of all kinds especially queer people i really think that as a whole regardless of how "gross the dysphoria triggering scenes" are I really think the message at the end, where the judges don't even argue for a second that Orchard Blossom isn't a "sister" that its enough to treat this with good faith

Because we have to be careful on how we talk about caricatures even the most hateful of ones because there might be someone in our community that (willingly or unwillingly) have those traits and it wold be bad to target the marginalized group for "fitting the harmless aesthetics of a stereotype that we deem cringe" and not "the bigot that thinks that having blue hair is enough to warrant the death sentence so will group other traits in with blue hair to encourage a cringe response just at the sight of blue hair"

To my favorite and most notable example of people making Orchard Blossom fan art as a symbol of trans pride i point to @punkitt-is-here (all her my little pony fan art is great but shes so popular you already know that i bet)

But to showcase some kids shows that do gender right in a way that I always felt my little pony fell behind on i give you:

Steven Universe (too many cooks too and many eyes is the curse of most trailblazer art)

Wake up Carlo

Battle Kitty

Aaahh real monsters

Centaur World

Sam and Max Freelance police

Rockos Modern Life

Fraggle Rock (the new one AND the old one)

At the end of the day I plead to every trans person out there who has dysphoria like I do to not make another trans person simply existing a targeted attack at yourself

Drawings are not real but it can often help real people to puppet them in ways that remind the people who relate to those shapes and ideas that they deserve to exist and are worthy of love.

thinking about that really transphobic MLP episode and how charged it felt wtf.

[madness-in-the-flesh]

Well now that I've seen that MAG/Go3lm post, it has invoked my affection for Go3lms. Go3lms are just neat and adorable. They talk so politely and whenever they make a remark I just want to give them headpats. -insert headpat meme with regular Go3lm-

While this has been just been me talking about Go3lms, I do have a request in mind. Would you be alright with doing something for the tower guards? They may be annoying to fight, but I respect the dedication to their medival gimmick. God they're such dorks, love these lads. (I really enjoyed the stories with the rowdy duo, Church and Jorge, and the ever passionate burger mascot, Gil. Just wanted to see if I could get some spotlight on some other Go3lms.) You're free to choose which guard to do, to just generalize how they'd all act, or however you'd like to go about it.

So here's a scenario, the reader works for Nexus Core as one of its many combatitive units. They interact with the tower guard now and then due to their patrol routes occasionally intersection. However, they notice it happening more often, bumping into eachother despite being stationed on different floors or in sections that they are quite sure aren't important enough to warrant the attention of the tower guard.

hjfbsdsedf I have to agree with you. They're all just. Funky and i love me some funky big guys +) Also head pats. They deserve ALLL OF THEM!!!

Oh shit! I never actually thought I'd be writing for these guys. but yeah, I'm happy too!! Wouldn't be surprised if they all played d&d together either... ( fuheyusf thank you!!! means a lot to hearrr <3 <3 ) Also hope it's cool but decided to go with the whole idea they are your fan club and went " we like this one. " and now you're being followed by them.

Beautiful scenario tho anon. I adore it. I'm gonna have LOTS of fun with this >+))) !!!!!! But genuinely this is super creative and cool??? You've got a big brain anon !!! <3 <3

I also can't tell if this is longer than my usual writing but it feels like it. nuihu

Tower Guards - The Point where it went wrong

Trigger Warnings - Manipulation, Intimidation, Abduction, Murder, Gore, Violence, Injury, Character death ( oc ), possible reader death. kinda.

Note - This one has the inclusion of two ocs of mine as your co-workers, Just kinda for the plot to feel more solid. Just really place holders but I promise both of them have a lot more depth than discussed in this story here lmao.

Many people in your situation would be asking " How did it get to this point ?" and frankly, not even you knew the answer. Maybe you could at least pin point the beginning. Something simple and from then on, they'd stuck with you. It had been a joke: Nothing too serious. You thought the way they talked, resembling that of the medieval ages, was kinda funny. Most were intimidated by them, sure they were skilled but you didn't seem to process that fear. You should have been terrified, And with what has happening now: You are.

" I think I'd make a great tower guard " you joked, puffing out your chest as the other shook their head, clearly unamused by your antics.

" Please don't do anything stupid around those G0l3ms. They will not hesitate to crush you " Theseus spoke, Rubbing the temple in irritation. The two of you were similar in some ways while opposite in others. While Theseus took a more serious approach. He just wanted to get the job done and head home. Most would have sighted this as a horrid combination seeing as you were light hearted. Possibly as juvenile as it gets which caused them immense stress but you two had gone back for years now. It was just... natural. Your shenanigans were unmatched while they balanced you out with their serious tone. To finish it off, Here you both were, working under the same branch in the science tower.

" By my troth, I shall try " You hummed out, elbowing your co-worker as you motioned a hand over your heart. A promise that now come to accidentally break. It caused them to groan but oddly enough, this caught the attention of the black guard, turning and staring back. The two of you jolted as the voice boomed through the room.

" Honourable! What is your name small one? " The blue guard questioned, hunching down to meet your size more. Cracking your head up, you blinked. Taken aback by the fact your simple choice of words had gotten you this much attention, face heating up at the newfound attention.

" Um... I'm (Y/n) " You spoke, rubbing the back of your neck as he let out a cheery laugh. Perhaps he was amused by your antics as much as you were.

" (Y/n)... I shall remember it well. " He hummed your name before letting the two of you go on your way. Youi hadn't paid too much attention to it, instead just snickering about it. While Theseus' eyes hadn't left the figure of the blackguard. It puzzled you, Making you raise a brow.

" You good? " You asked, genuinely concerned but he was clearly pondering his next set of words, choosing them carefully. He turned to face you as he shrugged.

" Dunno. Just got a bad feeling about those things. " he responded as you headed back. From then on, that bad feeling in them would grow and grow for him and no matter how much he protested, You didn't take him seriously. Even so, You never really took it seriously, sighting Theseus as just plain paranoid or just his usual overreacting. There was no away these G0l3m's would dream of harming some of the important Nexus scientists such as yourselves. right? You'd hoped that much. Maybe it was to cover your own tracks, trying to calm your friend down because if you weren't scared, perhaps he wouldn't be either. Perchance, if you had listened to him, things wouldn't have turned so sour.

From then on the guards would pop up at different intervals. It started out small, Just simple route changes you hadn't really payed attention towards since, like everyone else here, you had a job to do. It started happening more frequently though, Guards would stop by your station and ask how you were doing, simple things that... were nice to hear honestly but maybe not during working hours. After all, if you were caught, who knows what punishment you'd face. You weren't sure what to do about them either but soon chalked it up to them seemingly wanting to become acquainted with you after expressing interest, probably.

Some notable incidents were when a red guard had accidentally tripped and crushed what you were working on. You almost had a fit, Months of work down the drain but part of you didn't want to cause a scene with the large guard. You just laughed if off. It meant staying over hours. Apparently the guard had felt so bad, he started to hang around you during those hours on his rounds. Always stopping to check in on your which you found sweet. You were actually happy to have some new dedicated friends, even if it meant Theseus was less than thrilled. One comment made by him was " They planned that shit so you could be around more? " You had just chalked it up to them being clumsy but he still refused: Sighting it strange that the guards, who were already extremely agile, would make such a clumsy mistake. It didn't matter if it was on purpose or not though, You still had to come in to catch up more.

Another involved a yellow guard. You hadn't even properly picked up on it happening until another co-worker, Achilleas had told you. Apparently someone was talking about you behind your back about the red guard. How you had technically put the project on hold until it could be all redone: The guard that overheard this was NOT happy and apparently killed the. However the real reason was according to the report that was handed out to you and your co-workers: He was a spy. Planning on sharing information with others and leaking what you were doing to the public and with that, The yellow guard had taken him out. Theseus remained ambient it was a cover-up, With what you know now. He was most likely right. On the other hand, Achilleas was just glad he was gone: apparently he was a right asshole around the work place. Not that you knew the guy personally.

The worst out of them was meeting the Blackguard. He had an air of authority, more so than the others and he definitely didn't like your friends. You only ever saw it once though, He was so happy with you. As many of the guards were, polite, caring and a good time. A rare combination in Nevada but you were pleasantly surprised to find it home in the leader of the tower guard. Shame it didn't stay that way. He would hardly say anything when your companions were around. The three of you would talk, just minding your own business and he'd show up. Towering over all three of you in size and you knew it intimidated them, no matter how many times you tried to reassure them that it was fine. he'd be so pleasant with you, but when either Achilleas and Theseus tried to talk with him, The tone felt forced... You thought it was nerves maybe. That he wanted to perhaps get in with your little trio and didn't know the way about it. On the other hand. You knew the truth now. Although maybe it was obvious from the start as sometimes he'd drag you away to get you to talk to him alone until the alarm for your break being over sounded off. It soon developed into not just the blackguard doing so, but any guard that saw you chatting with the three in the breakroom. Sometimes they'd then be there, waiting for you. occasionally they'd escort you there and keep you away from the two but again: Maybe they were just shy. Neither of your friends liked this but Achilleas wasn't as bothered, going along with what you said because he trusted you - If you said they were harmless, then they were to him.

The last vague incident you could recall was noted with a blue guard. The same who you had encountered. He insisted that he escort you back to your office while you were on break. Previously, You were talking in the break room with some of your two closest work friends: Theseus and Achilleas. The three of you were talking about how your own individual lives outside your job were going, which relatively uninteresting apart from Achilleas story about a particularly amusing mattress salesmen. Just casual conversations. Only for the guard to stalk up behind the three of you. At first, you payed no mind to it. Only giving them a small wave before you heard the alarm, signalling breaktime was over and began to head back to your designated areas.

" I am here to escort you back to your workplace! " he spoke, filled with pride as the other two stared at the guard then each other. Achilleas looked slightly confused while Theseus' face was riddled with concern.

" Oh yeah sure. See you guys after work? " You replied before turning to the other two. They both nodded before beginning to head away. Theseus kept looking back: Clearly concerned for you but again. He's just a paranoid little man, or so now you wished it had just been his paranoia. You and the guard walked back, heading to the elevator. It was a journey filled with small talk. Nothing too special outside the usual talk you had with the respective guards. A question made you pause though.

" What are those two to you? Are they... Your protectors? " he prompted, tilting his head lightly. This made you laugh lightly, Deciding to play along with that you used to think was just some sort of medieval humour thing.

" Nahhhh. Theseus is like my champion. Achilleas is just one of those...uh, what you call it " You paused to think, looking away as you gathered your thoughts. Turning back when you remembered

" He's like my leech collector. Slimy little fuck sits there and collects them for me " you mused, snickering lightly at the small joke you had made. You wanted to keep up with them, humour and have fun with the whole medieval aesthetic but now. You wished you hadn't. The blue guard let out a small ' ahh ' in acknowledgement before going deadly silent. This... was new. While you were used to small talk, complete silence was unfamiliar.

You couldn't think about it long though as the elevator stopped and you got to your floor. Heading out the blue guard waved goodbye, saying something about a meeting he needed to attend. You brushed it off and just got back to work as usual and for a while. Things were normal besides the guards patrolling around your area getting more and more frequent but you weren't in charge of them. So it was none of your business

Then it came down to the day it all went wrong. Remembering the day in the breakroom once again, gathered with your usual buddies and talking about whatever came to mind at the current moment. Soon it trailed into the tower guards and the usual insistence with Theseus began. You were pretty much tired of it at this point, day in day out: Insisting they were no good. You'd become quite friendly with them so... You saw no problem with them.

" Oh shut up. " You huffed, taking a sip of your drink of choice. Not an office favourite, but it was yours. Theseus seemed to sigh, shaking his head.

" I'm serious, (Y/n). Somethings fucking up with them. They're following you around like a pack of lost puppies " He spoke up, causing Achilleas to gawk. Not at anything in particular. Theseus' eyes followed his, only for him to freeze up: Staring at whatever was behind you. The stare didn't stop, even as you took a quick look behind you, although the shadow that loomed over the three of you should have been very telling. You brushed it off, already accustomed to it only to double turn when you realized it was one of the G0l3m's that Theseus had been complaining about to your group mere moments ago.

This would not end well.

Something about the way the Blackguard loomed spoke volumes. The silence that spread through your group only made the air thicker. he G0l3m stared at your friend, Presumably if looks could kill: He'd be nothing but paste between his fingers.

" I challenge you, For (y/n)'s hand. " The Blackguard spoke up, The cold tone in their voice showed he was extremely serious with every single drop of venom spilling out of the sentence. Theseus stared in horror, just preparing to back up and out of the break room. Clearly intimidated by the larger thing. You didn't blame him because for the first time, The fear Theseus had felt: Infected you. The understanding of your friend's apprehension, made everything spin. Vomit threatened to rise out from your lips still you caught yourself, Swallowing it with your anxiety.

"I'm um. Busy " Theseus called, quickly darting out the room: Leaving the breakroom. It left both you and Achilleas staring up at the G0l3m who only turned to your other friend.

" Coward. What about thou? " You and Achilleas made eye contact, holding it for a moment before he turned to the now empty cup, holding the silence again while spinning his head to gawk at the large figure behind you.

" With all do respect, No thanks chief. " and he began rushing out of there: Not failing to toss his cup into the sink with a clash. Before leaving: A quick ' I'm so sorry ' was mouthed at you and your co-worker vanished beyond the same door as Theseus. The tension rose further, Making you laugh nervously. You had no idea how you were supposed to react, Staring up at the guard made you feel small. A lot smaller than every other time you had encountered the guard previously. The tension made everything just feel generally bigger. While it wasn't outright panic, the anxiety was lingering. He must be... messing around. After all how could someone you considered a friend, along with the other guards who had been nothing short of pleasant, hurt other people you considered friends.

I mean: You hated a few of your co workers but you wouldn't resort to cutting their lives short. You.... weren't like that. While you wanted to believe they wouldn't do the same, The way he looked down at you; No visible emotion, reminded you just what they were made to be. Killing machines that would slaughter anyone who not only defied Phobos, but got caught in places they shouldn't. You nervously played with your cup, looking away from him but you could still feel those eyes burning into the top of your head.

You had been saved by the alarm, signalling that your break was over and you once again laughed nervously. You tried to speak but the words were caught in your throat, Silently opening your mouth for nothing to come out. While you didn't want to believe you were scared, You were shaking now. The liquid in your cup jittering along with you and there was nothing you could do about it. Uncomfortably shifting as you decided instead to just wave: Almost dropping your cup in the process.

He came with you, practically talking to himself as you tried your best to respond but you just felt sick. You weren't sure where to pin point why but you couldn't shake the ever growing feeling that something bad would happen. Like a six sense. Maybe it was because you knew the guards so well, that they wouldn't stand for what Theseus was telling you. He disappeared once you got back to your work space. You remember placing the cup on the desk, no longer interested in it's contents. You weren't thirsty anymore. You thought that would have been the end of it. The strangest thing that happened that day and at this point - You were considering resigning. That look he gave Theseus unsettled you and now you felt like you were catching onto what he meant.

Hours passed, Up until it was the end of you shift. Excited to head home as you and Theseus had promised to spend the evening together watching the latest slaughter time re-run. Both you and he had agreed that the newer episodes lacked that little bit of pizazz the older ones had. So you waited outside for a while. 5 minutes turned into 10 minutes, which soon became half an hour and you were now suspicious. Theseus was never one to not let you know he'd be late. He just wasn't like that. If anything he had to be on time since he acted like being late was enough to get you executed. then again, Maybe you would since you were working for the Director. Wandering the halls once more to his office, Passing every clearance badge scan up until you walked into his small office. You weren't ready for what you saw. You don't think any amount of preparation would have though. For all the horrors you had seen in your time here: This one truly broke your heart.

Your friend Theseus had been alive earlier. You and Achilleas had been in the breakroom only a couple hours ago, trying to push past the incident with the blackguard as much as possible while you worked - A ping of guilt as you briefly remembered that the last words you heard from him were in fear of the blackguard - You should have done something to stop it sooner. However, here his body remained. Soaked in his own plasma. His head was detached from his body, having rolled across the floor at your feet. A plethora of blood having shot upwards out his neck and across the pale white walls. The knees of the body had buckled a while ago, no longer having the brain to hold itself up.

There his killer stood over the body. Holding himself as if he hadn't just killed your best friend of many years. The large G0l3m turned, facing you and laughing. You hadn't realized the trio gathering behind you either.

" I have bested your champion in battle! Thou shall now join our order! " The Blackguard pointed towards you, Causing you to cower away. No. no no no, You turned to run but a group of them lined the hallway. Your heart skipped a beat as you met the faces of more tower guards.

You screamed and kicked as they picked you up, struggling in the larger ones grip. The red guard was relentless and didn't let you go. The Blackguard leading the rest, along with you. Down the hallways with eager strides. At first confused, what did they plan on doing with you? Locking you up in some dingy dungeon? Were you going to become some sort of glorified house pet? The thoughts made you shiver and fight against him all the more. You quickly picked up on their plan though, once you saw the familiar look of the magnification chambers to which you silently screamed in terror. They wouldn't...

" They have volunteered for the process " one spoke, holding you up almost like a cat would a kitten. You didn't stop kicking and yelling: Finally realizing the genuine danger you were in. You knew what entailed you if you were to enter it. You'd be kept in the place for days, possibly weeks. If your body couldn't handle it: You'd die. If you did, then you wouldn't be yourself. You'd only be a shell, Left to fill with whatever the scientists or environment deemed fit - They'd stitch your skin and stretch it over your flesh to make it adapt to your new size. You shook your head " no " hopping that one of your fellow scientists would understand. No empathy was spared as they nodded and gave the guard the go ahead.

You continued to struggle up until you were thrown into the corner, Slamming into the wall with a thud as you slid down. Your eyes already droopy from the ongoing pain in the back of your head. The last glance you got was that of the Blackguard. The same way he was positioned during your first meeting.

" Small one, good luck on your quest. If thou does not make it. We will honour your memory. "

And all light faded as the doors slammed shut. Your body began to subtly ache. It left you to go over the moments that had lead up to this as you tried to figure out, through tears, where did it all go wrong?