#we know little to nothing about how gabe and cas were before they turned besides gabe's trauma

[zigtheeortega]

finished id . nobody hmu

[one-boring-person]

H'okay I gotta bite. From the friends-to-enemies-to-lovers prompt, would you please do #5 with one of our favorite smart asses: Gabriel Cash? I was going to ask for Snake but after seeing 'Guilty as Charged' I *LOVE* how you write him!

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it! And thanks for the request, I enjoyed writing it, though I'm really sorry that it took so long :/

We Make A Good Team.

Gabe Cash (Tango and Cash) x reader

Warnings: swearing, mention of gun violence

Masterlist

"Sorry, can I just…" A pair of hands suddenly grip my waist and pull me to the side, away from my position by the corner, the familiar voice sending a wave of irritation through me as I hear it.

Stumbling to stand beside the newcomer, I glare at him as he takes my place, drawing a gun from his belt as he presses himself back against the grimy bricks, peeking round the corner.

"Cash, get the hell out of my way!" I hiss at him, grabbing his arm to pull him back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something?" Gabe turns briefly to look at me, his hair whipping into my face from our accidental proximity. 

"Come on, Cash. You know playing deaf doesn't suit you." I retort, still pulling at his arm.

"Really? Because it sure as hell looks like you're enjoying it." He sends a pointed glance at my hand on his sleeve, "See, you're already trying to take my clothes off."

Snapping my hand back to my body, I make a sound of disgust, blushing angrily as he smirks at me and turns back around, peering round into the darkened street.

With an angry scowl, I turn back to face the rest of the team of armed police behind us, locating my captain quickly.

"Why the hell is he on my case, sir?!" I growl, gesturing back to the blonde beside me.

"Hey, hey! "He" has a name, you know." Gabe interrupts, "And who said it's your case? Last I checked, there's a whole crowd here."

"What, you think you should go in solo?" I scoff, barely looking at him, "I've been on this case for a week now, so it's mine. I call the shots, so fuck off!" 

"Actually, (Y/n), I called him in." My captain says from the back of the group, sending me a stern look as I set my jaw.

"But why?" 

"Because, babe, there's no way you're gonna pull this off without me." Gabe smirks, before he suddenly steps out from behind the corner, yelling out to the criminals I'm trying to convict.

"Cash! You fucker!" I bite out after him, following swiftly with my gun raised, knowing I'll probably need it now.

Falling in beside him, I take up a position to his right, inadvertently reverting back to old habits I built up years before, weapon aimed slightly to the side as I keep half an eye on the surroundings as well as the scene before us. Noticing me there, Gabe shoots me a quick grin, winking as he sees me realise what I've done, looking back as I make a face of disgust and move into a different place, scowling to myself. Observing the scene before me, I change my aim as I figure out that there's no way we'll be snuck up on - the gangs (all three) are there in their entirety. Swallowing, I signal to the squad behind us to move in, thankful for the forethought of bringing in more help from the armed cops. It's not long before they're all in position, both the ones behind us and on the roofs around, as well as those at the other end of the alley. 

"Put your weapons down, you're surrounded! Nobody needs to get hurt, but if you don't do what I say, someone will!" I call out to the gathered gang members before Cash can get a word in, eyeing them all warily.

Nothing happens, the whole alley remaining still and silent, almost eerie as we stare at each other, guns aimed at one another. It takes a full minute for the tension to be broken.

"You think she's joking? Listen, guys, I've seen her angry and trust me, it's not pretty. Just drop the weapons, and none of us have to see her go batshit! Everyone wins!" Gabe finally shouts to the gangs, nodding towards me with a knowing look. 

Annoyed, I glance at him, glaring as he winks at me again, finding his relaxed approach infuriating. Across from us, the gang members look at each other in confusion, as if debating whether or not to follow our instruction 

"Look, guys, it's really not that hard. Just do what she says!" Cash tries again, cocking his gun ominously.

"Drop your weapons!" I follow up, adjusting my grip on my gun, "Drop them and step back, hands in the air!"

As the threat of the situation finally sinks in for them all, many of the gangsters gradually place their weapons down, surrendering themselves even as their compatriots curse them out, pointing their guns at them. It doesn't take long, however, for them all to see sense, especially as the armed police move forwards to start making the arrests. 

With a triumphant grin, Gabe turns to me and holsters his gun, lifting an eyebrow at my vexed expression as he goes to move past.

"Way to go, team!" He comments as he steps past me, bumping my shoulder with his.

Flipping him off, I go to help the others, ignoring him.

*

It's already half ten by the time I finish writing the report, my hand aching from the continuous movement - my captain has always preferred handwritten files for some reason, so I often spend hours writing up days and days worth of case notes. Even so, as I walk over to the door to the captain's office, I can't help but feel a little satisfied by the completed wad of paper, holding it carefully so that it doesn't get damaged at all. 

Naturally, the captain isn't in at this time of night, so I push open his door and go to the desk, dropping the file by his keyboard with a final thunk, glad to be rid of the burden. Without further ado, I leave the room, heading to my office again to grab my things, only to realise I have yet to sort out the conviction forms for the gangsters we picked up earlier, a job that will take me a good hour or so alone. Sighing, I take up the pile of papers, shuffling through them with a tired carelessness, moving back out into the corridor with them. 

This time, I make my way over to the communal area, intending to make myself a cup of coffee so that I'll at least be able to stay awake whilst I fill these in. As I enter though, I fail to notice the figure sat in the corner.

"Babe, it is way too late to be drinking coffee. You should try a beer." Gabe's voice sounds almost as tired as I feel, though I can't quite see why, as it's highly unlikely that he's done any paperwork in the last four hours.

His words startle me, making me jump and drop my cup to the counter top with a loud clatter.

"Fuck, Cash! You scared the shit outta me!" I curse, pressing a hand to my chest as I catch my breath.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Thought you'd seen me." The detective apologises, lifting his beer up to his lips.

"S'fine." I mumble, turning to the fridge in search of a drink, "I need something stronger than a beer."

"Stronger?" Gabe lifts an eyebrow.

"Yeah. But I'll take a beer...I ran out of scotch a few days ago." 

"Scotch? You take that shit to work?" His other eyebrow joins the first.

Shooting him a tired smirk, I grab a beer and join him at the table, dropping the papers down in a messy heap.

"I usually do." I reply, cracking the beer open on the edge of the table, "As I said, I drank it all."

"Damn, girl, didn't realise work got you so stressed." He remarks, toasting me as I lift my drink to my lips.

I shrug, taking out my pen to fill some of the forms in, writing in the date, charges and signing the bottom. 

"Why don't you just leave that for someone else to do? Or wait until tomorrow? They're not going anywhere." Gabe asks after a while, having watched me in silence, the longest we've gone without arguing in a long time.

"Because," I sigh, glancing up at him, "I actually stick to my deadlines. This needs to be done by tomorrow."

He clicks his tongue, rolling his eyes as he reaches across, pinching the end of my pen.

"The captain isn't going to expect you to have written a whole report, plus thirty of those fuckers. You're not a machine, you need a rest." The blonde says to me, clear blue eyes fixed on mine, genuine care written into his expression.

"No, Cash-" I try to argue, only to be cut off as he takes my pen from me and stands from the table, coming round to my side.

"Yes, you're going to listen to me for once." He orders, almost sternly, helping me from my chair as I protest a little, unused to the friendly way he's behaving around me.

Shushing me, Gabe leads me over to the sofa at the far end of the break room, sitting me down before taking his place at the other side, which isn't so far given the small stature of the piece of furniture. Our legs are touching from our close proximity, but I'm too tired to do anything about it, simply enjoying his company instead, something I never thought would happen again.

"You know, (Y/n), we still make a good team." He murmurs after a minute or so, drinking from his beer as I turn my head to look at him.

"I guess so." I agree, thinking back to the arrest earlier today, as well as a few earlier on in our careers. Back when things were easier.

Gabe is clearly thinking the same as he sighs and turns to look at me, the two of us making eye contact properly for the first time in years, unspoken words passing between us as we gaze at each other. 

"I still wish things hadn't changed." He sighs wistfully, glancing away again, hand clenching the bottle. 

"Me too, honestly." I reply quietly, finishing my beer quickly as I settle back into the sofa, feeling sleep tugging at my mind, "It was nice having a partner."

"Yeah it was. Work gets lonely now." 

"Tell me about it." 

All is silent between us for a few more minutes, during which time I start to feel my eyelids drooping closed, my body relaxing comfortably into the soft cushions.

"Maybe one day we could work together again." He proposes, placing our bottles on the floor by our feet.

"Yeah, that would be nice." I agree, being totally genuine as I try my hardest not to drift off, "I miss you, Ca- Gabe."

At the sound of his name, Gabe looks over at me again, evidently noticing me half-asleep on the couch beside him. It takes him a moment, but it's not too long before I feel a lair of arms wrap around me. Eyes opening, I give him a questioning look as he pulls me closer to him, maneuvering us so he's got me cradled against his chest, leaning back against the arm of the sofa. If I wasn't so tired, I would've pushed him away, but as it is, it feels nice being held in his strong grip, his chest firm under my cheek and palms as I give in and nuzzle closer to him. His scent floods my nostrils, something in the mixture of old fast-food and hastily-used cologne comforting me as I feel a soft warmth spread through me. 

Too tired to argue, I relax into him, allowing him to lull me to sleep with gentle patterns on my back, his hair falling into my face as he leans forwards over me. Just before I drop off entirely, I feel him press a soft kiss to my forehead, his arms tightening around me as he hugs me to his body, muscles loosening underneath me.

I really have missed him.

[joviewinchester]

Let’s pretend that Mary is here to add to the *spice* Also major fluff alert. So terribly fluffy endings that they could be a danger to society. Except for the last one. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Also let me know if I should write more stuff with multiple endings because this was super fun.

Imagine dating Dean when Gabriel comes back, and going to stay with Lucifer.

Dean and Y/N were currently having the biggest fight of their relationship. “I still love him Dean! I can’t help it! I thought he was dead okay?! I assumed after he went radio silent he was dead not kidnapped by a Kentucky fried douche bag!”

“Oh! Oh! That’s even better! You knew that Lucifer didn’t kill him and you didn’t think to tell us?!”

“I was protecting him you ass! He would have really died if everyone knew he was still alive!”

“Well, what now, then, huh? I was a fucking distraction from all of your baggage wasn’t I?!”

“Like I wasn’t?! You have so much fucking baggage, it adds on an extra fifty pounds!”

“Well? What about now, Y/N? Even if I’m absolutely pissed at you, I’m still and love with you, and I’ll take a wild guess from when he tried to kiss you and say that he’s still in love with you too, so now what?”

“I’m staying somewhere else for awhile, Dean. I can’t stand being here okay? I love you. You know that, but everything is just so complicated right now and I can’t deal with it.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to stay with Lucifer okay? And don’t tell me that it’s dangerous and he’s an asshole and I can’t because I don’t have anywhere to go. I’m out of options, D.”

“So what? You would rather have a sleepover with the devil than stay here?!”

“Yes okay?! And this is why! I can’t deal with the way you’re being right now! …Look, i don’t have enough energy to fight anymore. Let Gabe know where I went, and just so you know, we’re on a break.”

Dean sadly watched as she walked out of the bunker with her duffel bag on her shoulder. “On a break?” He muttered to himself.

As soon as the bunker door slammed shut, Sam walked out from his room, where he had been hiding. He put an arm around his older brother. “It’ll be okay, Dean.”

“Will it really? Because she’s going to stay with yet another archangel that she, although I don’t have proof, most likely had feelings for, and the other one is staying with us.”

“Oh yeah yeah. Cry all you want, Winchester. You think I’m not upset that she’s staying with my brother who tried to kill me?” Gabriel asked.

“Is all this really necessary? I think we should probably just let Y/N do what she wants, and not fight. She is a responsible adult, and she can make her own decisions.” Castiel chimed in.

“Oh shut up!” Dean and Gabriel said in unison.

“By the way asshole, thanks to you, me and Y/N are on a break!”

“Oh don’t blame me for that Dean-o. You did that on your own. Y/N likes to make her own decisions, and you trying to make them for her? Yeah that was not working out too well. Clearly the only reason she really left was to show that she still had control over her own life.”

“Clearly, she left because your both being completely immature grade a douchebags, who, frankly, no one wants to be around, so shut up, or get a room!” Sam exploded.

They both put their hands up in surrender. “If you really want to know what really happened with Lucifer, I’ve recently come into possession of a super top secret diary of a certain loveable hunter.”

Mary walked in on the conversation. “Don’t you two dare. Just because she left does not mean you get to just take anything from her room.”

Dean and Gabriel both shrugged and sat down at the table. Gabriel began flipping through the pages to find the right date. “Here it is. This is after I went radio silent. You said that she started hanging around with Lucifer three years after my ‘death’ correct?” Dean nodded.

“”Dear Jenny,” Wow she named her diary. Whatever that’s beside the point.

“Dear Jenny,

I definitely made somewhat of a mistake today. Well, I wouldn’t call it that, but I know that the Winchesters would. I, well, I made out with Lucifer last night.

I think I’m in love with him, but then, there’s Dean. I’m starting to think he kind of had a thing for me? But then again, it’s Dean, he probably just wants to hook up or something.

You know, for some reason, I always liked the villains more. I think it might be because, most of the time, they aren’t using a girl. They love her. They’d get down on their knees for her. They’d die for her and do anything for her, and she’d always be their queen. I don’t know maybe I’m delusional.

What would Gabe say though? There’s no doubt in my mind that I will always be in love with him, dead or alive. If I ever got the chance to be with him again, I know that I would choose him, over anyone, Dean and Lucifer included. He is, well was, the light in my darkness, and I know that I‘ll never forget him.” Gabriel closed the diary. He glanced at Dean, trying to subtly study his face. He was clearly upset, and oddly enough, Gabe comforted him.

“Hey, cheer up, okay Dean-o. Let’s look at a further entry. Her feeling about you probably changed.”

They flipped further. It was an entry from last year.

“Dear Jenny,

I almost died today. There was a nest of vampires, and I went in on my own. I feel so stupid. Scratch that. I am stupid. I was lucky, so goddamn lucky.

Dean saved me. I felt really dumb. I hate being the damsel in distress. I was hoping that by going in there, I would take them out on my own and show Dean that I don’t need protection.

He has enogh to worry about, and he is always worrying about me. If anything ever happened to Dean, I don’t know what I’d do.

I know in past entries, things I said were so different, but we’re together now. Things are so different, and I love him so much.

He is my light…in the darkness.” Gabriel trailed off on the last part.

“You make her happy Dean. She’s yours now.”

“No. You made her just as happy, and besides, it’s her decision now. For all we know, she’ll end up with Satan.”

About, a week passed and Y/N was finally home. As soon as she walked in the door, everyone could tell how drained she was. She looked like she hadn’t slept in years.

“Hi.” She gave a weak smile to no one in particular. Now was not a time to play favorites. Then again, maybe it was.

Dean- “So, as you guys know, I’ve been MIA for a week, so I’ve had lots of time to think, and I know what I want. I know that you both probably don’t even want me at this point, but, Dean I love you. I want to be with you, and it was stupid for me to just up and leave. That one week was a living hell without you. Side note, that was a horrible metaphor for me to use.”

Dean pulled her into a tight hug, and buried his face in her hair. “Don’t ever leave me alone with Gabriel and Sam ever again. I know mom and Cas are here, but no one can stop them from arguing constantly but you.” Y/N laughed a little bit.

“I promise that I’ll never leave you ever again. I uh, I bought something while I was gone.” She pulled something small out of her pocket.

“Look, I know that this is kind of untraditional, but that’s who I am. Dean for as long as I’ve known you, you never even thought about a serious relationship, until you asked me out. Like everyone we have had ups and downs, but at the end of the day, I love you and you love me. With this life, you have no idea what’s going to happen next, so I guess what I’m trying to say is, Dean Winchester, will you marry me?”

“Hell yeah! Of course. I’m just sorry you beat me to it. Before our fight, I had this whole romantic thing planned out and-“ Y/N hushed him.

“I don’t want a bunch of rose petals. You’re more than enough for me.”

Gabriel- “Um…Mary can I talk to you?” Mary nodded and followed Y/N to a separate room.

“So, I know Dean is your son, but you’re my best friend and I feel like you’re the only person I can talk to. This may not be what you want to hear, but I’m still-“

“In love with Gabriel. I know n/n. Just let Dean down easy okay? You know how he is with these things. He’s not going to get over it overnight.”

Y/N pulled her into a hug. “Thanks, Mary.”

“Now why don’t you go shower and then talk to Gabe.” Y/N nodded and went up to her room then headed to her personal bathroom.

When she got done, she walked out to her laid out clothes and almost had a heart attack. Of course he would be waiting on her.

“You know, I feel like I already know the answer to this, but do you think I could get dressed before we talk or?”

“Nah. It’s not in my programming to do that.” Y/N grabbed her laid out clothes.

“In that case, I’ll be right back.” She said heading to the bathroom once more. When she walked back out, she sat next to him on the edge of her bed.

“So…” Y/N trialed off, nervously tapping her fingers against her thigh.

“Y/N, I know you aren’t very good at confrontation and stuff like that, but you have a decision to make, and no matter what, Dean and I have both agreed to respect that, even if that choice is neither of us.”

“Gabe, I’ve already made a choice. I made a choice a long time ago. I love you. Even through the years nothing has changed the fact that I love you. You were the first guy, or archangel rather, that I fell in love with, and I want you to be the last.”

“That was the most incredibly sweet and cheesy thing you have ever said to me.”

“Oh shut up, you love me.”

“You know it, sugar.”

Lucifer- “Look, I’m not staying here anymore. I know that might be kind of hard for you guys to process, but I know what I want now, and what I want is not anywhere near this bunker, so to save us all the heartache, I’m packing my stuff up and heading out of here.” She quickly ran up to her room.

“Lucifer.” Gabriel and Dean said annoyedly at the same time.

“You guys don’t know that. Maybe she just needs time on her own.” Sam said.

“Uh... yeah no.” They all turned around, then simultaneously groaned in disgust and annoyance.

“Oh come on. Don’t give me that. I’m a delight to be around. Ask Y/N.” Lucifer stated with a cocky smirk on his face.

Mary scoffed. “You’re a self righteous asshole. I don’t know why she finds any part of you attractive.”

Y/N came downstairs carrying like five bags, and rolled her eyes. “I go upstairs for five minutes and you guys are already fighting. Look, I’m leaving okay! I can’t be here right now! So, just at least let me go peacefully.”

“Is this what your mother would have wanted?” Cas stopped her. Y/N whipped around, and dropped the bags she was holding.

“Don’t talk about my mother! She died saving your sorry ass, so screw you!” Seconds later, they were gone.

“Maybe she’s right. Maybe he is different.” Mary suggested.

“Or maybe she’s blinded like she always has been.” Dean scoffed.

[gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat]

You are my home💚💙

Happy Valentine’s Destiel Wedding Day everyone!

Part 2 of my Destiel wedding series.

Click here for the masterpost.

Thanks @bonchickabelle for your support

~2,8k words

“Are you nervous?” Sam teased Dean, who stood in front of the mirror, tugging his tie straight. He thought about it for a moment “Excited? Sure, can’t wait to see Cas again after you forced us to spend last night apart for some stupid tradition. Nervous? No. It’s Cas I’m marrying.” Sam smiled knowingly, already half out the door. “I’m very happy for you two!” Alone again, Dean’s eyes drifted back to the mirror and he placed his hand on his shoulder, right over Cas’ handprint. He meant what he had said to Sam. It had been the first night they had been apart since he got Cas back and he barely slept. He had just felt wrong without hearing Cas’ gentle breaths, without being able to wrap his arms around the former angel and without feeling the weight of Cas’ head on his chest. But was he nervous? Not at all. He was almost surprised at how calm he felt. He’d never been this sure about anything in his life. After today, he would never have to spend another night without Cas.

Everything was perfect. Everyone they knew had insisted on helping with the wedding in one way or another. Sam wanted to officiate them, he got his license as soon as he heard the happy news. Eileen had taken the grooms separately to shop for wedding suits, Jack had promised them a warm, sunny day and handmade the invitations with Claire. Jody and Donna had baked their wedding cake, Ellen and Jo contributed a dozen homemade pies, Bobby took care of the bar and the catering. Garth and Bess promised to capture the whole day on their cameras. Gabe offered to be their DJ and Ash took care of all the technical stuff. Rowena had promised them truly magical fireworks at night, while Crowley and Benny were in charge of the security, although that shouldn’t be necessary ever since Jack became god.

Charlie and Dorothy had not only offered their vast, beautiful property as their wedding venue, they had also taken care of the decorations. The ceremony was set to take place on the Southern side of their house. An aisle led through rows of white chairs up to a little lake in front of which they had placed a rectangular wooden arc, decorated with greenery and big white flowers that stood out brightly against the blue water in the background. The Western side of the house was already equipped with a big dance floor around which tables, a big buffet and a bar had been set up. To top it all off, Charly and Dorothy had hanged fairy lights in every single tree on their property, which would create a magical atmosphere at night.

Lost in thoughts, Dean adjusted the flower on his lapel and smiled at the mirror. He never thought that he – Dean fucking Winchester – would ever get married. And yet here he was. His phone buzzed and his smile became even wider as he saw who texted him.

[Cas 10:34] Dean?

[Dean 10:35] What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now😉

[Cas 10:37] No, my feet are perfectly fine, why would they be cold?

Dean rolled his eyes, amused at his fiancé’s confusion.

[Dean 10:37] Not literally, that’s an expression for someone who has second thoughts on their wedding day. What’s going on?

[Cas 10:38] Oh. I see. I’m nervous that I might act weird because I don’t know all wedding customs. So I wanted to ask if you could maybe help me out when I’m about to make a fool out of myself.

[Dean 10:39] Sure thing, sunshine, but don’t worry about acting right, it’s your wedding day, all you have to do is enjoy it. And everybody here knows you’re a little weird😉

Without a knock, Charlie barged in. “What’s up bitch, you ready? Cause your fiancé is and he’s smokin’ hot.” She winked as she noticed Dean’s blushing cheeks. “Yeah, I’m ready. Where’s Bobby?” “Already waiting downstairs for you. I have to go, see you in a few”.  As quick as she had come, she disappeared again. Dean took another glance at the mirror to make sure everything was perfect before he left the room.

Downstairs Bobby and Ellen were laughing over a glass of scotch. When Bobby noticed Dean, he smiled and reached up to adjust his baseball cap, scoffing when he realized that he didn’t wear one today. “Lookin’ good” he grumbled. Ellen gave Bobby a quick peck on his cheek and winked at Dean as she went to take a seat. “I’m glad ya two idjits finally got the sticks out of your asses. Took ya long enough.” Dean chuckled nervously, his cheeks turning red again. “Thanks Bobby. Truth is I still don’t know how I got this lucky.” “Well, ya really deserve this, ya know? You’re a good man. He’s lucky to be with you. And I like him. Never seen you this happy.” After a pause he added “I’m very proud of you son.” Fumbling with the empty glass Ellen had left behind on the table in front of him, Dean replied “Bobby... Thank you. You’ve always been a father for me, unlike John, who... Anyways, thank you. For everything.” Dean swallowed, unable to put his love and gratitude for this man into words, but as he looked up at Bobby’s face, he caught him wiping over suspiciously wet eyes. “Idjit” he grunted, pulling Dean into a bone crushing hug. He nodded at the clock. “Ya ready? We gotta go.” “Ready” Dean replied, and he meant it. He was more than ready for this.

Or maybe he wasn’t. He was more than ready to marry Cas, but he wasn’t prepared for the sight of all his loved ones in one place, alive – thanks to Jack – gathered to celebrate with him. He always thought the only occasion where they’d all come together would be for his funeral, and he didn’t even expect that since most of them had been dead until a few months ago. Grateful and touched to see how many people where there because they loved him and Cas, Dean fought back some tears. While Garth’s kids waddled down the aisle, scattering white rose petals, Bobby squeezed Dean’s arm, as if he could sense all those thoughts whirling in his head. Dean nodded, linked their arms and let Bobby lead him down the aisle where Sammy already waited with a big grin and an even bigger stack of notes for his speech.

Back in the house, Charly gave Cas an encouraging smile and handed him a gorgeous bouquet of white and yellow flowers. “Thank you for leading me down the aisle, I was made aware that that would usually be the responsibility of one’s father...” “There’s nothing usual about this wedding..” Charly teased him. “Besides, you’ve been my bestie ever since we first met, of course I’m gonna walk you down the aisle!” She linked their arms. “Ready?” Cas nodded. “Ready...” Leaning in, he added with a proud smirk “...bestie”. The doors swung open and they stepped outside.

All heads turned around to see Cas, but he didn’t even notice. He was completely captivated by the sight of his fiancé, who let out a little gasp before breaking into a wide smile. His eyes made those cute crinkles that Cas loved so much and as he came closer, he could see a tear roll over Dean’s check. Usually, although Dean had become way more relaxed over the last months, Cas could always sense a lingering alertness in him. But now... he seemed completely at peace. Cas quickly blinked away some tears. He didn’t want anything to cloud his vision, he needed to preserve this image in his mind. His navy-blue suit combined with a simple black tie and a white flower on the lapel suited Dean incredibly well. He was beautiful and Cas’ heart skipped a beat at the thought that it was him who caused the pure adoration and happiness on Dean’s face.

Charlie led Cas towards him with excruciatingly slow steps. Dean could barely restrain himself from running towards them. Cas was indeed smoking hot in his black suit, the baby blue tie perfectly matching the color of his big, loving eyes. Their eyes locked and Cas smiled at him with his adorable alien head tilt. Dean took a deep breath in, smiling at his fiancé, whose eyes glistened suspiciously. Cas seemed completely awestruck, and Dean felt a little lightheaded like he always did when Cas looked at him like that... like he meant the world to him.

Charly placed Cas’ hand in Dean’s. “Hey handsome! Missed me last night?” Dean whispered with a wink. “Hello Dean. I missed you very much indeed”. Murmuring “Me too”, Dean softly leaned his forehead against Cas’. The grooms stood there for a moment with closed eyes and fond smiles on their faces, the longing for each other almost unbearable. Cas finally pulled away and stated softly: “You are incredibly beautiful”. He turned towards Sam. Dean blushed at the seriousness in Cas’ voice and slowly turned to face his brother as well, not without glancing at Cas’ concentrated face once more and shooting him a loving smile from the side. While Sam held his unsurprisingly deep and thoughtful speech, Cas slipped his hand into Dean’s, who squeezed it lightly in response.

When it was time to say their vows, Dean took Cas’ hands in his and started shakily: “So, uhm, I’d like to start if that’s okay. Cas – you’re my best friend. And you’re the love of my life. I never thought I’d ever say something like that, I didn’t exactly think love was in the cards for me. I never let anyone close. But you...” His furrowed brows softened, and he broke into a fond smile, adopting Cas’ little head tilt. “You immediately got to me – well, right after I stabbed you... Sorry for that, buddy.” He winked and Cas chuckled softly. Dean continued, his voice overflowing with love: “I love your weird, quirky personality. I love that you’re such an openhearted, adorable little dude and at the same time you’re brave, strong and one hell of a badass. You never stop surprising me. You have the most loving, pure and beautiful soul.” Dean’s voice started to crack. “You know me better than anyone, heck, you probably even know me better than I know myself. You looked into my soul and you love me for exactly who I am, which is the best gift you could have ever given me.” Firmly holding Cas’ gaze, he added seriously: “I promise to always love and support you unconditionally, in our human life together and beyond. I’ve been yours ever since you first laid a hand on me. And I swear I will be yours for all of eternity. I love you Cas, so damn much.”

Cas looked at him completely lovestruck, tears glistening in his eyes. In a low, gravelly voice he declared: “I never truly belonged anywhere. I never... functioned the way I was supposed to. And you made me realize that that’s okay. That freedom and free will were more preferable than being a brainwashed soldier of heaven. You gave me your friendship, you made me part of your family. You taught me to love.” He cupped Dean’s face, gently brushing his thumb over Dean’s freckled cheeks. Squinting his eyes in adoration at the miracle before him, he added: “You are the most perfect, selfless and loving human being I have ever known.” Tears started rolling down Dean’s cheeks, he still had a hard time accepting that someone – especially Cas – would think so highly of him. Receiving this praise in front of such a big audience made him blush. “Dean, you are my home. I love you. Forever.” He pressed a soft kiss on Dean’s forehead and wiped away his tears. Dean almost drowned in his loving eyes, completely overwhelmed with affection.

Claire and Jack came up to give them their rings. Claire handed Cas a ring and whispered: “Congrats Ca... Dad”. Cas froze up for a second, tilting his head, squinting his eyes, trying to understand if she really just meant that or if it had just slipped out on accident. When she gave him a shy confirming smile, he pulled her into a strong hug. Jack handed Dean a ring with a “Hello Dad” and a short hug, before tugging on Claire’s hand to pull her back to their seats. The almost married couple shared a confused look after what just happened, Dean opening his mouth to ask “Did they just call us..?” “I believe they did”, Cas replied happily.

Sam moved on with the ceremony and let them repeat some more promises to each other before posing the final question: “Do you, Castiel, take Dean Winchester as your lawfully wedded husband?” Cas answered earnestly “I do.” Sam turned to Dean to repeat his question: “Do you, Dean Winchester, take Castiel as your lawfully wedded husband?” Dean grinned widely, eyes crinkling around the edges: “Hell yeah, I do!” Sam asked them to exchange their rings to seal their bond and Cas took Dean’s hand gently in his. He slipped the ring on slowly, looking deeply into Dean’s beaming green eyes. Dean then slipped a ring onto Cas’ finger, his fingertips lingering longer than necessary. Sam finally pronounced them “...husband and husband. You may now kiss your groom!” Under the roaring cheers of their loved ones, Dean cupped Cas’ face while his husband pulled him close, arms wrapped around his waist. Their lips found each other easily, all of their adoration blooming into a chaste, soft kiss. Cas spontaneously bent Dean backwards, who gasped into his mouth in surprise, before letting himself fall into the strong embrace. Their kiss deepened, both too far gone to hear the excited cheers and whistles around them. It took them a while to gather the strength to break apart, foreheads resting against each other for one more moment before turning to the cheering crowd. Dean linked their hands and raised them up, as Sam exclaimed loudly: “I present to you Mr. and Mr. Winchester!”

The party afterwards was one for the books. Everyone had a blast and surprisingly enough, everyone got along perfectly, which wasn’t exactly a given on a party were hunters and supernatural beings came together. Donna’s and Jody’s wedding cake was mind-blowingly delicious. It was a white cake with three tiers and a figurine of the happy couple on top, wearing their trademark flannel and trenchcoat. When they cut the cake open, it revealed a colorful surprise. The top tier was colored like the bisexual pride flag. The second tier was chocolate-brown and the bottom tier looked like a rainbow flag. Dean insisted on feeding Cas with some cake and “accidentally” smeared frosting on Cas’ face. After he had kissed it away shamelessly, which earned them loud cheers and whistles from their guests, Dean pulled his husband onto the dance floor for their first dance.

They both didn’t exactly know how to dance, but it didn’t matter. They were just happy to feel the comforting warmth of their bodies against each other and melted into a tight embrace. As they were swaying gently, eyes closed and faces buried in each other’s necks, they didn’t realize that the first song had long blended into the next one. After a couple of songs, Dean opened his eyes for a moment, watching all the people he loved enjoy themselves. Jody and Donna slow-danced next to them and Eileen tried to teach Sam how to dance, hoping not to get her toes crushed. The brothers exchanged a big smile that said: “We’re so damn lucky”. Rowena stood at the DJ-table with Gabe, brushing a hand over his arm and whispering something in his ear. Crowley and Benny seemed to hit it off at the bar and Claire and Jack tried to teach Sonny some “tictoc-dance”, whatever that was, while Miracle excitedly jumped around their feet. Dean closed his eyes again and sank even deeper into the feeling of Cas’ arms wrapped around him.

The party carried on deep into the night, roaring rock classics long having replaced the quiet couple-dance music, everyone partying on the dance floor or sharing stories and laughs at the bar. As the newlyweds sat down to chat with Sam and Eileen over some drinks, Cas looked at his husband lovingly. He was overjoyed to see Dean beaming happily from being among all the people he loved, no danger in sight. As Dean caught Cas starring, he gave him a gentle peck and got up. He linked their hands as they strolled towards the lake, the party sounds fading into low background noises. They leaned up against each other, the reflections of stars and fairy lights glistening on the water as they held each other close in the cold night air. Dean nuzzled his nose into Cas’ hair and pressed a gentle kiss on his head. Cas turned to see Dean’s glowing eyes and pulled him into a long, achingly tender kiss. They were home.

[magicrowiswritingstuff]

“Not so good News” - Gabriel x pregnant!reader (3/3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (you’re here)

Summary: Part 3 of “Not so good News”! Read the first part HERE. After you had received the news of your pregnancy you feel rather conflicted. On one hand you want this child to live but on the other hand this also means you will die giving birth. Your only option is to enjoy the time you have left with the people you love, forcing your dark thoughts to the back of your head. (F/N) means friend’s name.

Warning: dark thoughts/themes, suggestive themes, heavy angst, swear words, death, child birth (not a warning but maybe someone is squeamish)

Category: angst and fluff, even more angst

Words: about 9.000

Note 1: So, the mini-series is finished. I hope you will enjoy/enjoyed the last part. This series was a pain in the ass to write... so much research and asking relatives if it’s accurate. Though, it probably isn’t because it is fanfiction after all. Note 2: I have another Gabriel story linked in my masterlist, that one is more fluffy (And another short series in the works but pst). And I will definitely write more about/with him because I love him, all right?! I love hand hate him at the same time.

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"Not so good News" - Gabriel x pregnant!reader

Pregnancy week 20: The pregnancy was now at its halfway point which also meant that you probably had only twenty more weeks to live. What it also meant was twenty more weeks of pregnancy symptoms and to be honest you were sick of it. Sometimes even literally. You had been so dizzy lately you even blacked out during research. Sam and Dean weren't happy, thinking that you had over worked yourself and Gabriel immediately teleported you to your room after you had woken up again. So now you were on bed rest, or rather jail time. You laid on your back with your arms crossed before you and a pouty look on your face. "This sucks." You wanted to do more than laying around all day however there wasn't really much to do in the bunker especially on your own. You stood up from your bed and walked towards a shelve on the right side. Somewhere underneath all the stuff you had there had to be the thing you were looking for. "Aha!" you grabbed it and left the room, searching for the boys. You found them still sitting in the library, looking for their next hunt but the moment you stepped in all eyes were on you. "(Y/N), what are you doing up?" Gabriel asked with one eyebrow raised in question. You let the box you were holding fall onto the table. "No longer wasting my time" you declared and sat down, opening the box and arranging its content. "I want to spend time with you all and by that I'm not thinking about researching with you." You looked up at the four guys who slowly turned to you and the game you were setting up.

"So, we are playing monopoly now!"

"Only if I get to be the car" Dean said and immediately snatched it for himself. Sam rolled his eyes at him and took the dog. "How do you play?" Castiel asked confused, grabbing the shoe because it was closest to him. You threw him a small smile. "I'll show you." You then turned to Gabriel, offering him to choose his playing piece but he shook his head. "I always play with my own token" he said and snapped his fingers. In front of him appeared a small figurine of himself. You glanced at him with your lips pressed into a thin line to hold back a giggle. "Really?" you questioned as a short breath of laughter escaped your mouth. The archangel shrugged his shoulders. "Want one, too?" he asked, his fingers ready. You shook your head. "No, it's alright. I'll just take the cat." After you had set everything up and explained the rules to Castiel the game began. However, unsurprisingly Cas was still the first person to go bankrupt. Sam soon followed, selling his last green street to Dean. He mumbled something under his breath before throwing the dog back into the box. So now it was only you, Dean and Gabe. "You owe me 600, Dean" you said, pointing on the last light blue street where Dean had his car parked in front of the hotel you had recently built there. "What? How?! You only have shit streets" he complained and gave you the money reluctantly. You chuckled. "Yes, but I got a lot of shit streets." Dean only huffed which made you laugh. You had to throw dice next and landed on the police man. With a theatrical sigh you put your cat in jail, throwing the dice to Gabe. He grinned at you before rolling them. He landed on the middle orange street. Now you were the one grinning at him: "That makes 550." "You have one good street, only one hotel and maybe two to three houses on a street. How are you making so much money?" Gabriel asked after giving you the game money. You shrugged your shoulders. "I have three complete streets: brown and light blue at the beginning on which always someone ends up on. And in the beginning it doesn't feel like much money but it stacks up. And the orange one is often overlooked because the red one has higher prices but people always end up somewhere in that corner, too. Dean rolled his eyes, taking the dice. "Also, you two only have one complete street which lowers the change of getting much money because I bought one dark blue and one yellow one to stop you" you added and leaned back against your chair. "How about a little trade then" Gabriel suggested. "I want the dark blue street you stole from me and I can give you 350 and a get out of jail free-card." "Why would I want that?" you questioned with one raised eyebrow. "I still get money in jail but I don't lose anything for three turns. It's a win-win for me, I'm staying here." The archangel huffed. "Alright, 400 bucks and a train station. Last offer." You shook your head, staying stoic. Turning towards Dean you nodded at him, signaling that you were finished and that he could roll the dice. He got a nine, landing on the same orange street like Gabe did before him. You grinned evilly at him. "550, Dean." "I don't have enough money in cash I need to sell houses first" he explained, giving you six of his green houses from his pink street (you were playing as the bank too). You exchanged them for 300 which you kept and waited for the remaining 250. "Dean, I noticed you are short with money" you said after you had rolled the dice, still stuck in jail. "How about a little trait?" Gabriel shock his head at Dean, whispering "She's too powerful already, don't" which only made you grin. "I want the yellow street you have" you pointed at the card before offering your hand to Dean. "And in exchange I will give you your 550 bucks back." Gabriel continued to shake his head but Dean grabbed your hand, agreeing to the deal. You then turned to the archangel. "Gabe, you want your blue street, right? And I want the last yellow one you have" you said, your eyes sparkling mischievously. "I will give you the blue one if I get the yellow one and 350 bucks." He reluctantly agreed. And so the game went on. Cas and Sam stayed, watching it all go down quietly as Dean lost his last street to you after having to sell his pink one to Gabe completely as well as his train stations. It was a pretty equal distribution of streets, however after about a half hour later you ended up winning. Grinning you put the cards back into their box. "Your strategy really just is to buy all the shit streets at the very beginning and slowly watching as we lose all our money to them?" Dean questioned. You nodded. "Yep, and a few other moves helped me win, too but I won't tell you more than that." All things considered you had a lot of fun and the others did too. "Now you will finally get rid of me again" you said while standing up, smiling at them playfully. "I'll go back to bed. I'm exhausted and my legs are killing me." With that you turned around and walked back to your room in silence. Or at least you had planned to do that, however you heard footsteps following you. Looking over your shoulder you saw Gabriel running after you. You stopped with a grin, waiting for him. When he caught up he didn't say anything so you continued your way back with him by your side. "Thanks for letting me win" you said and shoved his side. "I did not do such a thing" he declared swollen, grinning down at you which made you laugh. "I know but you could have tricked us all anyway for you to win but you didn't do it." "I retired from my trickster days, sugar" the archangel reminded you. "Yes, but we both know that you would never stop messing with us" you said. Throwing him a side glance you smiled at him. "I'm amazed that you didn't play a prank at Dean for a while now." Gabriel chuckled and wrapped one arm around you. "Don't let yourself be fooled, (Y/N)." You grinned and then wrapped your arm around him too, pressing your head against his shoulder. "Thank you" you whispered so faintly you worried he wouldn't catch it. "For what?" he asked with a chuckle. You only shrugged. "I don’t know. I guess for everything." ____________________ Pregnancy week 22: In the last two weeks nothing much changed or happened. Your belly continued to grow and pregnancy symptoms were still haunting you. Your legs cramped so much now you didn't really want to move out of bed. So, you didn't. You stayed in bed all day. "At first you desperately wanted to do something you even overworked yourself into blacking out and now you are lying in bed all day" Gabriel chuckled beside you, nuzzling his nose against your neck. You huffed and turned your head so you could look at him. "Firstly, you're not pregnant so shut up" you sassed back at him but stayed silent after that, turning on your side again so your back faced the archangel. You felt Gabriel squirm behind you. "Secondly?" "Nothing, that is all there was" you said which earned you a hearty laugh from him. "You're adorable" he said and wrapped his arms around you. Now you were the one to squirm, trying to get out of his grip. "Am not!" you proclaimed. "I'm an angry pregnant lady, fear me." You succeeded in freeing yourself and were now sitting on your knees before Gabriel. "I'm trembling underneath your gaze, spear me" he managed to get out between his laughter. With a pouty look you threw a pillow in his face. "You're making fun of me!" you pointed out accusingly. "I would never" he declared with one hand pressed against his chest in shock as he sat up as well. "I don't believe you" you said and crossed your arms before your chest while desperately trying to suppressed your grin. "Oh, furious pregnant lady, how can I prove myself?" Gabriel asked and slowly crawled closer to you. You had to let yourself fall back against the cushions with the archangel now leaning over you. "Hmm" you hummed and pretended to think about it while Gabriel's face slowly got closer to your neck. You shuddered, feeling his breath dance over the sensitive skin. "Helping me with my crampy legs would be a start" you whispered. Without hesitation the archangel set up and shifted his focus to your cramped legs and feet. He slowly massaged from your feet upwards. By now your eyes were already closed and soft hums left your lips now and then. You just enjoyed the feeling of the pain slowly washing away. Or at least you did until Gabe's hands wandered up to the inner side of your thighs. One of your eyes snapped open, glaring at the archangel. "What are you doing?" you questioned with a low voice. "Shh" he breathed and crawled back over you. Instinctively you wrapped your arms around his neck but continued to eye him suspiciously. "Let me spoil you." "You don't need to" you said while Gabriel had already started to pepper your face with kisses. "Oh, but I want to" he kissed the top of your nose which made you giggle. He continued to place kisses on your face before slowly wandering down towards your neck. Occasionally a hum or sigh left your lips as you let yourself relax under his caresses. "What do you want to do?" he suddenly asked. You opened your eyes that had been closed until now and saw him hovering over you again. "What?" you questioned. "What's on your bucket list?" Now you understood. You let your arms fall from his shoulders as you thought about it, letting your eyes wander around the ceiling. "I-" you looked at the archangel. "I don't know." "Really? There is nothing you can think of" Gabriel asked with one raised eyebrow. You shook your head. "I just never thought about it before... And I guess you had finished yours long before you even met me" you said, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. But to your surprise the archangel shook his head. "I achieved my last one only a few years ago." "And what would that have been?" you asked. Gabe's gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips before moving back up. A small smile adorned his face as he spoke up again: "Falling in love." Immediately you felt your face heat up. "You're just saying that to make me feel better" you said, trying to cover your face with your hands but Gabriel pushed them down and shrugged his shoulders. "What about when you were a kid?" he continued to ask. "What did you wish for then?" "Expect a real pink unicorn and ice-cream for every meal?" you laughed before losing yourself in your thoughts again. "I guess ... getting married someday." You felt Gabriel stiffen up above you, making you tense up, too. Shaking your hands in front of your chest as far as possible you backtracked immediately. "Not that we have to. It's just a silly kids thing, you know. Back then we had plenty of games about our future or talked about family and marriage. It was just normal, expected. Ahh! Not that I expect it from you. I don't want you to propose or anything. I-" you noticed that you were rambling so you forced yourself to stop and took a deep breath." I shouldn't have said that." Now you really did cover your face with your hands, wishing to disappear. Though you never talked with Gabe about marriage or anything like that you always knew it would be a tricky subject. With him being practically immortal and marriage always or often associated with religion. You just guessed he didn't want to since he had always tried to distance himself from God and heaven and all that. And since he was an angel, an archangel ... you could promise him to spend your remaining life with him. He couldn't. And now was definitely not the time to marry since you would die in less than twenty weeks anyway. "I'm sorry" you said without really knowing why. Maybe you just wanted to break the silence that seemed to lay heavily in the air. "Don't be" the archangel said, caressing your check with one hand. "But I knew it would be a tricky subject to you." "How so?" "Well" you dragged on and slowly uncovered your face. "I just guessed and by your reaction..." You didn't continue speaking as Gabriel sat up on his knees. Lifting yourself up on your elbows you eyed him confused. Was the subject so repulsing to him? "You mean because I stiffened up?" You nodded. Gabriel let out one breathy laugh. "I was just surprised and shocked because I-" he snapped his fingers and opened his hand revealing a ring. "-actually wanted to give you this." You straightened up completely shocked. Your eyes darting from his face to his outstretched palm. "Wha-" "They aren't wedding rings. More like a promise ring, really" he explained as you slowly reached out to take the ring from him. He was right, it didn't look like the typical engagement or wedding ring. It was a silver ring, shaped into a feather that would curl around your finger. "For what?" you asked and looked up, the ring still uselessly lying in your palm. Gabriel raised his right hand, revealing a silver ring on his finger that hadn’t been there before. This one had the typical form of a ring, however the feather was engraved into it. "To promise that I will always love you." You felt tears in your eyes as you jumped forward, tackling the archangel in a hug. "You always make me cry" you complained but honestly it probably was because of the hormones. You stifled your sobs in his shirt as you pressed yourself flat against him, so you even felt his laughter vibrate through his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, too. "Can I?" he asked after a while and pushed you from him. He took the ring back from you and offered his other hand for yours to put inside. You didn't hesitate to do so but felt your face heat up again as he looked at you with love filled eyes. He slipped the ring onto your finger, gave you one last, long look before letting go of your hand. You looked at the delicate feather wrapped around your ring finger. "Thank you" you said with tears still clinging to your face but a big smile on your lips. You wrapped your arms around him again, burying your face into his chest ____________________ Pregnancy week 23: You had thought hard about what to put on your bucket list ever since Gabriel brought it up. However, it was pretty hard to find things you were able to do because of your condition (pregnant) and your situation (kind of trapped in the bunker). One thing you couldn't get out of your mind though was to see the northern lights far away from any other light source, no cities or other people. You couldn't shake it off even if it meant leaving the bunker. Your second idea was maybe rather cliché and not so impossible: having a family dinner without anything to worry about and no arguments to destroy the mood. "Hey, Gabe?" you asked while entering the library. The archangel immediately looked up from whatever he was doing, beaming at you. "What's the matter?" You sat down on the chair opposite to him. "I was thinking about what you said" you started. "What exactly? I talk a lot" he questioned, resting his head on one palm. You snorted in agreement. "About what I wanted to do, about my bucket list" you reminded him. "And I came up with two things." "Only two? If I knew you were so easy to please I-" you cut him off by throwing a crumpled up piece of paper at his face. "I wanted to ask if you had any ideas or further inspirations for things to achieve in the bunker" you paused. "Okay, I have only one thing for my list because for the first one I would have to leave." "What would that be?" Gabriel asked, putting his head in his other palm while closing the book he was looking at. "I always wanted to see the northern lights far away from civilization" you confessed and looked to the side, pushing one stray strand of hair back. "And my second point was having a family dinner." "With your parents?" Gabriel asked which made you flinch. Maybe you should have expected that since you had never talked with him about your life before becoming a hunter. Still, hearing the word stung a lot. "I never told you why I became a hunter, right?" Gabriel nodded confused and you took a deep breath. "My parents died when I was maybe 14" you explained, not meeting his eyes. "They were killed by a werewolf and I only survived because a hunter rushed in. He shot the werewolf and took me in. He taught me everything he knew but I was still traumatized, refused to leave the house after sunset. Still ... he was like a father to me. And then when I just turned 19 he was possessed by a demon after his tattoo was burned from his skin. The demon inside him stabbed him in the heart before I was able to exorcize him" you finished and wiped away the tears that had found their way over your cheeks. Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, making you flinch again. Looking up you saw Gabriel standing beside you. You hadn't noticed that he had stood up. "I'm fine" you said, not believing even yourself. The archangel didn't say anything, just let his hand rest on your shoulder, sending you comfort through his touch. "Anyway, why did I tell you that again?" you shook your head, trying to rid yourself from the sad memories. "Ah, right. So, when I say family who I mean by that are Dean, Sam, Cas and you, Gabe." You looked up at him with the tiniest smiles on your lips as the archangel wiped away the last tear from your check. "The only problem with a family dinner is that I think it will escalate like always. Especially since I know that Dean is still looking for another way, a way to safe me in secret. Even though I forbid it" you only mumbled the last part. Gabriel grinned and bopped your nose. "Don't you worry your pretty little head, sugar" Gabriel said. "It's late, you should go to bed." You stood up, nodding and wrapping your arms around the archangel still craving his touch. He returned the hug. "I will be with you shortly I need to finish this first." You nodded once more, hugged him for a few moments more before letting go. "Good night" you said and stretched yourself on your tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the lips before vanishing into your room. You had fallen asleep immediately. "(Y/N)!" you squirmed under your blanket, not ready to wake up just yet. You felt something, or someone next to you and a hand on your shoulder slowly shaking you awake but still you didn't really budge. "Let me sleep" you complained and covered your head with the warm blanket. "Next time, sugar. Now you need to wake up." You opened your eyes, pulling the blanket down and let them wander from Gabe's in shadow casted form to your clock standing on your bedside table. "It's not even three in the morning, what the hell" you grumbled. "A pregnant lady needs her sleep." Suddenly you were pulled out of the comfort of your bed and instead stood on wobbly legs in your room. "What are you doing?" you questioned, holding onto Gabriel's hands. "You wanted to see something, sugar." Confused you freed one of your hands and rubbed your eyes. "My brain's too tired to function, Gabe. Can't it wait till, I don't know, when the sun is shining?" you begged and suppressed a yawn. You could vaguely see the archangel shake his head in the darkness of your room. "Believe me, it will be worth it" he promised. You closed your eyes and rubbed the bridge of your nose. "I really hope you're right." And suddenly when you opened your eyes again you weren't in your room anymore. Confused you looked around. You were standing in the middle of a snowy landscape. Immediately you thought you would be cold but when you looked down at you, you saw that you were wearing a big coat, dark ski pants and a fluffy hat instead of your pajama. "What the hell" you whispered and turned around to look at Gabriel who -even though he didn't really needed it- matched his outfit to yours. He stood behind you with a huge grin. "Look up, sugar" he said and so you did. You hold your breath as you looked at the clear night sky with thousands of twinkling stars. But they weren't catching your attention, no. What had captured your imagination were the northern lights shining above your head. Magnificent colors danced above you, fading from green to blue to purplish pink. And even though your neck already started to hurt from constantly looking up you didn't care, too fascinated by the alluring dance. It looked like you had dipped your head into another world, another universe full of beautiful, vivid colors that were swaying and changing, illuminating the world around you. "It's amazing" you breathed when you felt the archangel take a step closer to you and turned around to meet Gabe's gaze again. "Thank you." Out of instinct you twirled the ring he had gave you before you looked up at the sky again, losing yourself in the endless colors swirling through the carpet of stars on this cold September night in who knows which country you were right now. "Dean and Sam will kill you if they figure out you let me leave the bunker" you stated with your eyes still glued to the aurora lights. "Not if you don't tell them" Gabriel noted. You turned around, wanted to say something but when you opened your mouth to speak only a shallow breath escaped out of it as you wrapped your arms around your stomach. Twisting your face into a frown you leaned forward. "(Y/N)?!" Gabriel asked panicked and walked in front of you. He put his hands on your shoulders to straighten you up again. "Are you alright? Are you in pain? What's going on?" For a few more seconds you didn't answer, stared at the ground with your arms still tightly wrapped around yourself. You felt it again and it was then you realized what this was. You let out a pained laugh. "Yes, everything's fine" you reassured the worried archangel with a small smile. Grabbing one of his hands which were still resting on your shoulder you directed it to your still growing bump. You had to wait a few moments with your hand on top of his before you felt it again. Gabriel flinched and you still saw worry in his eyes but when he looked up from your stomach and searched for your gaze, he slowly relaxed when he saw the softness in your eyes. "Are these...?" "Her first kicks? Yes." In the next couple of seconds you saw every emotion washing over his face. Happiness, relief, love, peace, joy but also worry, fear and panic. But it wasn't the type of panic that shook to your core, making your tense up and freeze. No, it was that type of panic a soon to be Dad had when realizing he would have to care for a small helpless baby soon. It was the first time you saw this fatherly panic on his face ever since the beginning, ever since the big news of you being pregnant. "She's quite strong. Knocked the air right out of me" you huffed while intervening your free hand with his other hand. "Archangel genes" Gabriel laughed. "Yes" you breathed, leaning into his touch with a smile. You two stayed like that for many moments more, enjoying each other's presence underneath the fantastical sky. You twirled the ring on your finger again. You felt the happiest ever since all this had started. This was probably the happiest day you had in a long time. ____________________ Pregnancy week 30: You felt like you had eaten a bowling ball or something like that. Your belly was extremely round and weighted a total of proud 25 pounds more of which the baby accounted for about 3 pounds. It was late October so you had about 2 and a half more months to life. You calculated with the help of your friend (F/N) that the baby would be due around the second week of January. Having these thoughts were scary. Normally the dated day of birth was something the parents craved, finally being able to hold their baby in their hands. But you, you were resenting it, you feared it. You thought you had left these thoughts behind but they haunted you even more now that the day got closer and closer. The last few months were hard, being pregnant in summer were hard but luckily the bunker could be regulated so you never really felt to hot. But now you were freezing even though the heater operates at full stretch so you just wrapped yourself into blankets all the time just like now. You were sitting on the sofa in the library again, the cup of tea you had been drinking was already empty. You sighed, feeling lonely. The guys had left a few days ago for a hunt which had required all of them so you were left behind for possible research again. You wanted nothing more than to cuddle with your favorite archangel right now and it seemed like he had heard your silent wish. You heard the unmistakably flutter of wings behind you and turned your head to look at him. "Gabe? What are you doing here? Is the hunt already finished?" you asked, looking around in search for the others but nobody was there. "No, it's just me" he declared. "And what are you doing here then?" "I just wanted to spend some time with my two beautiful girls" Gabriel said and sat down beside you. You snorted because of his cheesy comment but put your head on his shoulder anyway, nuzzling into his side still wrapped in your blanket as he laid one hand on your stomach waiting for a kick. Your little, heavy light bulb grew very active ever since you saw the northern lights but she seemed to like to kick around at night and sleep during the day. "I don't want to ruin the mood" you said after a long time of silence in which your thoughts continued to suffocated you. "...but I'm afraid, Gabe." You didn't move or look up just pressed yourself flat against him. "I just... wish I could hold her before I.." you didn't finish but you knew Gabriel understood what you meant. "I'm sorry, sugar" he said nuzzling his face in your hair and kissing the very top of your head. "You don't have to be, Gabriel, it's not your fault. And I wanted to have the baby so I just have to come to terms with the consequences of that decision" you explained. "Give me some of the credit, too, sweetcheeks" he cupped your face with one hand, directing your gaze at him as his face hovered inches above yours. "I worked very hard on that baby." You tried to bite back the laugh bubbling in your throat as you pushed his face away from you. "Gabe!" you screeched embarrassed even though he was the only one in the bunker. Giggling you shook your head. "Nice to see you didn't change since the pregnancy started." "I'll never change, you know that, sugar." You shook your head in disapproval. "That's not true, you did change" you noted. "You stopped your playboy days and stayed by my side." "Ah, well. You're just so interesting. How could I not stay a little longer to figure all the ways out to make you come undone" he said and wiggled his eyebrows as you slapped his shoulder with a gloomy look in your eyes. "I take that back, still one hundred percent the same archangel that I met years ago." Crossing your arms before your chest you held your head high as you ignored his laughter. "Oh, come on, honeybun" Gabriel laughed. "Don't ignore me." You huffed, giving him the cold shoulder while desperately trying to suppress your own laughter. "Stop ignoring me, (Y/N) or I will have to take drastic measures" he playfully growled and if you had turned around to look at him you probably would have seen the desire bubbling in his eyes. "You now I can't resist when you play hard to get." Finally, you turned around to meet his fiery gaze. "Oh, really?" you asked innocently. "I never noticed." Your faces were now only inches away from each other, his breath hot on your lips as he tried to hold back. It was nice seeing you still had this effect on him. You loved to watch him try to suppress it, to not give in and still losing to it every time: his desire for you. "You know, we are alone right now" you said with a grin as your eyes darted between Gabe's and his lips. "Oh, I know" Gabriel growled as his gaze fixated on your mouth. "And I intend to relish every second of it." ____________________ Pregnancy week 34: Only about six more weeks to live. It felt like a countdown. You tried to enjoy and appreciate every day and every second you had left, spent a lot of time with Gabriel, Dean, Sam or Cas. However, you couldn't prevent or deny that you were getting more distant. You didn't do it intentionally, or at least you thought so. Okay, maybe you tried to make everything easier for you and the guys. You would leave them, there was no going around that even though you knew Dean hadn't abandoned the plan of finding another solution, a way of saving you. It was just written in his genes apparently. But he hadn't brought anything up and you knew it was hopeless. The only thing you could think of was making a deal with a demon. Your life for someone else's but you wouldn't allow anyone to sacrifice themselves for you. And you weren't even sure if a demon could grant this wish, if they had more power than a half angel child. The last few weeks you had mayor back pains because your stomach had grown so much. Every sleeping position was uncomfortable, sitting was unbearable. Your bump was so big now you couldn't even put on shoes on your own. You felt more useless and moody, too but you weren't sure if it was because of the hormones or because you knew it would happen soon, it would end soon. You put one hand on your stomach, feeling the little light bulb (it became an agreed nickname for the baby between you and Gabe) move around. You noticed that she liked to lie on the right side more than on the left, leaving a little elevation there. Smiling you caressed your unborn baby. You just wished you had more time. ____________________ Pregnancy week 38: It was the fore last week but on a brighter spirit it was also Christmas. You haven't really celebrated Christmas ever since you were a child, ever since your parents were still alive. Of course, when you teamed up with Sam and Dean you exchanged gifts you had bought the day before but it was never a huge deal. You never really cared about the presents anyway. So, you expected that wouldn't change even if it was your last ever Christmas. You had stayed in bed all day, trying to find some rest after your baby girl had kept you awake almost all night. Was that why every mom awaited the birth so desperately? To finally sleep again and be free from all those pregnancy symptoms? A heavy sigh left your lips as you opened your eyes to look at the clock. It was about four pm and if you didn't stand up soon you wouldn't find sleep this night, too. With a groan you rolled out of bed and rubbed your eyes. Maybe hanging out with the guys would lift your spirit. Thinking about them ... you haven't seen them all day. Furrowing your eyebrows, you wondered what they were possibly doing. Had they found another hunt? Were they researching something? Stretching your back you slowly began your way to the library in search for anyone. "Guys?" you asked as you turned around the corner, still rubbing your sleepy eyes. "What were you doing all da-" you froze as you laid eyes on the library. The room was fully decorated with Christmas lights and even a small Christmas tree was standing in one corner, decked out with balls and lights. "What the hell" you mumbled and stepped into the room, your eyes glued to Sam and Dean who were putting the last decorations on the tables. "Oh, fuck" Dean said after noticing you. "Ehm, surprise?" You chuckled. "Well, yeah. I am surprised. Why are you decorating the library." "We thought we should celebrate Christmas this time" Sam explained, leaving out the obvious reason why. You nodded. "I appreciate it but I hope you didn't get me any presents because I was unable to buy anything for you." The two brothers shook their heads. "Nope, no gifts. Only decorations and something festive to eat" Dean declared. "It's gonna be burgers, right?" you questioned and crossed your arms before your chest. The slight blush on Dean's cheeks told you enough. "Good, because I'm starving and would kill for a burger right now." "Did I hear someone say burger?" You looked at the big entrance, seeing Gabe with bags in his hands. "Because I just so happen to have some." Laughing you sat down on one of the chairs, awaiting the festive meal. The three guys sat down too and Cas joined you soon after even though he didn't eat anything. At first you just looked around the room, eyes filled with childish wonder. You had missed the warm lights, the smell of Christmas that came just because of the atmosphere around you. You quickly lost yourself in conversation. Chatting about anything and everything. After a long time, you didn't worry, didn't fear the next day, the next week. You lived and just enjoyed the moment. The warmth that surrounded you, the smiles on their faces and the sound of laughter. This is what you always wanted. And you realized that your bucket list was finished, your last wish: having a peaceful family dinner. ____________________ Pregnancy week 39: Only about one week left. However, you weren't thinking about that just yet because today was New Year's Eve. Sam and Dean had bought some fireworks they wanted to set of which was why you were sitting outside of the bunker, wrapped in a blanket in Gabriel's arms. The Winchesters had oh so nicely agreed to let you come outside too. "How much time do we have left?" Dean asked, already hurrying with setting up all the fireworks in bottles on the street. You freed one arm from Gabriel's hug and looked at your phone. "Two minutes." "Shit, gotta hurry" Dean cursed. You laughed at him as he tried to work faster, ordering Cas to help him. "One thirty... One fifteen... One minute" you continued to count down. "Shut up." Giggling you put your phone away again after seeing Sam grabbing his to start the thirty second countdown in a few. Nuzzling back into Gabriel's side you glanced up at him only to see that his gaze had already been on you. "Hey" you mumbled with a smile. "Hey to you, too" he quietly laughed as he pushed back a strand of hair from your face. Immediately you lost yourself in his warm eyes, the cold night air long forgotten. His face was already so close to yours that you felt his breath on your lips. "Thirty" you heard Sam said. You had to wait thirty seconds until you could finally kiss him? You huffed a breath in annoyance as your hands found their place on Gabe's chest. "Impatient?" Gabriel grinned. You glared at him. "As if you weren't." "Twenty." "Oh, I can live without a kiss" the archangel stated with a smirk. You raised one eyebrow at him before grinning evilly. "Oh, is that so?" You put your hands away from his chest and turned your head forward again, looking at Dean who was armed with one windproof lighter in each hand. You couldn't suppress your laughter when you saw his silly stance. He seemed ready to tackle the fireworks to the ground. You hadn't seen him act this childish in a long time. You felt Gabriel squirm beside you which only made you grin even more. "Ten." "(Y/N)" the archangel growled lowly. "Nine." You glanced at him from the corner of your eyes. "Eight." "I thought you said-" you turned around to meet his eyes completely. "Seven." "-you could live without a kiss from me?" you challenged him. "Six." He huffed. "Five." Stretching up you were the one to tease him with your hot breath on his mouth. "Four." "Well" Gabriel started and placed his arms to either of your sides, caging you in. "Three." You felt his body heat springing over to you as his eyes darted to your lips still stretched into a smile. "Two." "Not now" he finally said. "One!" He grabbed your face in his hands and closed the gap between you two just as Sam shouted "Zero!". Melting into the kiss you pressed your hands against his chest again and closed your eyes. However, the grin on your lips stayed as you responded the kiss. Silently moaning as Gabriel's hand wandered down your sides, leaving a tingling sensation behind, you stretched upward, pressing into him. This kiss was the sweetest you had ever shared with the archangel. Soft, gentle, slow. There was no intention behind it, no raw desire but love. So, you let yourself relax in his arms as the fireworks took of behind you, buzzing through the night sky. "Who was impatient now?" you asked after breaking the kiss, your lips still only barely apart. "Not my fault, I just can't resist you." "You're so cheesy when you want" you laughed and closed the gap between you again in another soft kiss that quickly grew more passionate and daring. You wrapped your arms around his neck, stroking through his hair and slightly tugging at their ends. He groaned against your lips and let his hands wander too. They quickly found their place only barely above your bum as he pressed you against him as far as possible with your baby bump. You felt warm and safe, like being encased in fluffy clouds and soft blankets, like if he had wrapped his wings around that you were unable to see. You parted with a gasp, sucking in breaths of air with a laugh as you looked up the archangel. "I love when you laugh and your eyes crinkle up" Gabriel whispered which only made laugh again and then smiling like a fool. "Are you growing soft on me" you teased. "I am always soft for you" he said without missing a beat. You felt your face heat up but forced yourself to not break the eye contact. "I love you" you mumbled with half lidded eyes. Gabriel chuckled, hugging you close. "I love you, too, sugar." You stayed outside for a while longer, talking with each other while looking up at the stars. But at about 1 am it was too cold to stay outside any longer so everyone slowly packed their drinks and the empty bottles for the fireworks and began their way back into the bunker. You let out a sigh as you heaved yourself up with Gabriel's help, smiling appreciatingly up at him and tried to find your balance. Just as you were standing safely on your legs and took one step forward you felt it. Bending forward you pressed one hand against your stomach and blindly searched for Gabriel to steady yourself with the other one. "(Y/N), is everything alright?" he asked, grabbing your outstretched arm. You growled in response, biting your lip, almost drawing blood. "Ju-just a contraction. Probably just Braxton Hicks contractions" you muttered under your breath and straightened up again after you were sure it was done. "Are you sure?" You nodded, letting go of Gabriel and taking one step forward only for your knees to give in. You yelped in shock but luckily Gabriel caught you before you could hit the ground. Another groan of pain left your lips as you let yourself be kept upright by the archangel just as another wave of pain hit you. Your lips parted, sharply sucking in the cold winter air, as you tried to get the words out. "Or ma-maybe they're real contractions" you stammered. You slumped back down, only kept up by Gabriel's arms while your vision got fuzzy and pain shot through you up from your stomach. You heard him yell for Sam, Dean and Cas who had already gone inside but you didn't really register it. It was absurd. Everything seemed so unreal to you and in the same time frighteningly real, too. Was this ... it? "Gabe" you said not even really knowing why as a nauseous feeling washed over you. Clinging onto him you blinked a few times, trying to make out his face. "I-I need your help." He heaved you into his arms without another word, hurrying inside as fast as possible. "What's the matter?" Sam asked, looking up from his seat in the library. You only cried out in pain, curling into Gabe's chest. "She's having contractions" Gabriel said and walked past the three men in the direction of your room. They hastily stood up and ran after him, frantically shouting all the time. "Real ones? The real deal?" Dean asked worried. "Yes!" you yelled with tears in your eyes as a wave of heat crashed over your body. Gabriel kicked your door open and then laid you down on your bed. Panicking you looked up at the ceiling. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, it was too early and your friend wasn't even in town yet. They had promised to come by to help with the birth giving process. You had no clue what to do and the guys had non either. They were panicking too, asking and shouting about what was supposed to happen. "Gabe... Gabriel" you forced over your lips, looking to your side, searching for his eyes. He immediately had his attention on you with his eyebrows furrowed and teary eyes. "Call (F/N)." He nodded, not hesitating and grabbed your phone. "(Y/N)? What's up?" their voice rang through the speaker only seconds later but you were unable to answer as another painful contraction hit you. This was happening way to fast. Was this the angel side of your baby? Wasn’t there supposed to be a pause between the contractions? How were you supposed to breath through all this pain? "Here's Gabriel" the archangel managed to get out. "(Y/N) just got into labor." "What?! (Y/N)!" your friend yelled as a wave of shock also washed over them. "Hey" Gabriel said to get their attention. "We... she needs your help now. You have to tell us what to do." If you hadn't been in labor you would have been amazed by Gabe's calm voice. But one look at his face told you that it was only a facade, that he was more panicked than any of the other guys inside the room. "Okay, okay. At first ... tell me how far apart the contractions are" your friend requested after a few deep breaths to calm themselves down. Gabriel looked back at you and when your eyes met you felt the next one hit you. "There is no time between them or at least … there’s always pain. They are coming very fast. I-" you were able to groan when the pain washed away for a few seconds. "I think it's because of the angel genes. They're very strong and painful." "Alright, no time to lose then" your friend mumbled probably more to themselves. "You have to lay on your back, put a pillow behind your neck so it's more comfortable for you and you have to get rid of the pants." You looked at Gabe again, signaling him that you needed help with that. He nodded, putting the phone on your bedside table and helped you out of your pants. It was weird being exposed like that but to be fair you didn't really have much time to think about that as another wave of pain crushed over you, pressing your lungs down. "Someone has to check on the status of the baby" (F/N) said and maybe not very surprisingly Cas volunteered to do so. He seemed to have calmed down a bit while Sam and Dean were still pacing around. "Hoist your legs up so you can build up more strength and when the next contraction hits you have to press. And don’t forget to breathe!" You followed their instructions without question. "(Y/N)?" they asked after a few seconds. You answered with a half yelp that somewhat resembled a "Yes?". "I wish I was here to help you, I'm sorry." "No, don't be. I wanted you to enjoy New Year's Eve, too. Life is just unpredictable" you managed to say but after that everything became fuzzy again. This wasn't normal right? No, it wasn't. You were dying. This was the end. The realization hit you suddenly and almost knocked the air out of your lungs. You would die today. You whimpered, unable to form any words as you once again blindly reached out for Gabriel. A hand found yours and you immediately felt that it was his palm squeezing yours reassuringly. Your vision cleared only slightly and when you made out the archangel's face you saw the tears he had forced back all those weeks, the tears he had never let himself cry. "Can you see something already?" Was that Dean speaking? You couldn’t really tell but you knew that the one to answer should be Cas. "Yes, I can see some of the head." "Is she still breathing." "Yes! Now stop worrying her even more!" That had to be Gabe as his hand began to squeeze you harder. "You're doing great" the words echoed in your mind again and again and again. Was that Gabriel? You felt the tears wet your cheeks. You loved him so much. You didn't want this. You wanted more time. Why weren't you given more time? Why did this happen to you? Were you doomed from the very beginning? You couldn’t breath, the pain was too much, your whole body just stiffened up. "(Y/N)." Was this some sort of punishment? The contractions seemed to get even more frequent and even though you were supposed to press you felt your strength leave your body quickly. But this baby had to live, you wanted your baby girl to live. Squeezing the hand in yours tightly you focused every last drip of strength into pushing your baby out. "Out." "She's out." Your baby was out. You were still breathing. Was that screaming? "Gabe" you gasped as the room began to spin. You were so exhausted. All your energy seemed to have been sucked out of you. And that was when you noticed your vision getting out of focus once more but this time it seemed different ... final. A wave of panic crashed over you. No, no, no, no! You didn't want to go. You wanted to reach out to Gabe, opened your mouth. Say something! Another wave of pain tore through you, left you breathless. What was happening? Tears were streaming out of your eyes but you were able to detect one face looking down at you. Worried, honey colored eyes. Gabe! No, you- just say something! Say you love him! Your thoughts screamed at you to say anything... but you were unable to. You had no energy left. Everything turned to darkness.

____________________

"(Y/N)!" you squirmed under your blanket, not ready to wake up just yet. You felt something, or someone next to you and a hand on your shoulder slowly shaking you away but still you didn't really budge.

"Let me sleep" you complained and covered your head with the warm blanket. "Next time, sugar. Now you need to wake up."

You opened your eyes, pulling the blanket down and let them wander to Gabe's in shadow casted Form. Frowning you slowly sat up. This felt strangely familiar, like you were just experiencing a déjà-vu.

You sighed and followed Gabriel's instructions as he hoisted you up.

"Believe me, it will be worth it" he promised. You closed your eyes and rubbed the bridge of your nose. "I really hope you're right."

The next time you opened your eyes you stood in a snow covered landscape. "What-"

"Look up, sugar" he said and so you did. The sight left you breathless. Vivid colors were moving above you in a strange, hypnotic dance. Greens and blues and bright pinks. You were speechless. These were the northern lights.

"It's amazing" you whispered and pushed done strand of hair back. "Thank you."

This was all so familiar. Did you live through this before? You frowned, about to ask Gabriel when you felt a dull pain rush through your stomach. Gasping you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around yourself. This was strange.

"(Y/N)?!" Gabriel asked panicked and walked in front of you. He put his hands on your shoulders to straighten you up again. "Are you alright? Are you in pain? What's going on?" Yes, indeed. What was going on? What was this pain? The thoughts of a possible déjà-vu vanished in an instance as your mind just accepted everything.

For a few more seconds you didn't answer him and instead stared at the ground with your arms still tightly wrapped around yourself. You felt it again and it was then you realized what this was. You let out a pained laugh.

"Yes, everything's fine" you reassured the worried archangel with a small smile. Grabbing one of his hands which were still resting on your shoulder you directed it to your still growing bump. You had to wait a few moments with your hand on top of his before you felt it again. Gabriel flinched and you still saw worry in his eyes but when he looked up from your stomach and searched for your gaze, he slowly relaxed when he saw the softness in your eyes.

"Are these...?"

"Her first kicks? Yes."

In the next couple of seconds you saw every emotion washing over his face. Happiness, relief, love, peace, joy but also worry, fear and panic. But it wasn't the type of panic that shook to your core, making your tense up and freeze. No, it was that type of panic a soon to be Dad had when realizing he would have to care for a small helpless baby soon. It was the first time you saw this fatherly panic on his face every since the beginning, ever since the big news of you being pregnant.

"She's quite strong. Knocked the air right out of me" you huffed while intervening your free hand with his other hand.

"Archangel genes" Gabriel laughed.

"Yes" you breathed, leaning into his touch with a smile. You two stayed like that for many moments more, enjoying each other's presence underneath the fantastical sky.

It indeed was your happiest day.

            The End. ____________________

[ellewritessometimes]

It’s a Gift

Summary:  Cas and Dean have become very close. Dean develops a crush and is afraid to say anything. He continues to fall harder as the days go on. As the Valentine's Day party approaches, Dean wonders if he'll share the secret he's been harboring.

Ships: Dean/Cas, Crobby

Word Count:  3,552

TW: Mentions of violence and Homophobia, Swearing

Notes:  This is a work from an abandoned Valentine's Day group writing project. I decided to post it still because I worked hard on it and I wanted the original intended recipient to get their fic as planned. I want to thank Luc for allowing me to reach out to them and @kermit-drinking-tea-dot-jpg for betaing this fic.

Link to read on AO3

The smell of greasy tater tots and dry nuggets wafted through the cafeteria as I walked in and took my seat at the table. The rest of the team sat down as well.

"Does anyone have a date for Valentine's party tomorrow?" Garth asked.

"I'm sure Sam will be my date," Gabe smirked. The guy was kinda obsessed with my brother.

Garth rolled his eyes and continued to take a bite of his chicken patty. I turned the page of my notebook, trying to decode my notes from last week. 

"Shit," I mumbled under my breath.

"What?" Gabe asked with a mouth full of french fries.

"I can't read my notes, and the test is next period," I said in frustration. I had scrawled them down distractedly during the class.

"Would you like to borrow mine?" Cas asked. 

Of course, I would like to borrow Cas's notes. He was a great student, always crazy organized.

Cas slid a spiral-bound notebook with perfect notes written in blue gel pen. The lettering looked like a font. I could never be like this. I could never sit still for that long. Oh, to be like Cas; Quarterback, Captain of the Football team, debate mentor, NHS, he really had it all. I was just a linebacker struggling to remember physics. God, Dad, is gonna kill me.

"Thanks, man," There was relief in my voice. Maybe I'd pass. A.P. Physics is not the move when you're a dumbass.

Cas smiled and picked up his book, On the Road. I've never seen him eat during school. He's always reading, helping us with homework, or keeping Gabe and Garth out of trouble. 

The bell rang, so I handed Cas his notebook back. He winked, and I felt my heart pound. I'm sure he was just saying ‘you're welcome’.

* * *

Mr. Crowley handed out the test, and I inhaled deeply. I can't do this. I can't do this. 

Cas looked toward me and mouthed, "Are you ok?" 

I shook my head. The little shit winked again and raised his hand.

"Mr. Crowley, I think Dean is going to be ill," Cas fibbed, "I should take him to the nurse just to be sure."

"We wouldn't want that. Take him to the nurse," Mr. Crowley gave him the ok.

Cas and I walked out of the classroom and into the hallway. Cas gestured to me to follow him. He led me into an empty classroom and shut the door.

 He set his notebook and pencil down on a desk and bluntly said, "Sit."

I did as I was told. I watched him write a kinematic equation on a fresh sheet.

"What do you know?" Cas asked.

"Nothing."

"I don't believe that."

"I'm a dumbass," I shrugged.

He tilted his head, and I noticed a change in his eyes. 

"You don't believe you deserved to be helped," He stated and quickly changed the subject in an attempt to take what he said back. "Let's start easy."

I leaned my head over to see the problem he wrote. A hair fell on my face, and Cas pushed it away. I jumped. Cas jumped as well, startled by my reaction. His disposition changed.

"I'm sorry, I…" His voice trailed off.

"It's fine, Cas." I made an attempt to reassure him.

We moved along with the problem like it never happened. But it did happen. I would feel the touch on my forehead the rest of the day. The way his hand felt, soft and warm against my rough skin. 

We must have done at least 20 problems until I finally felt comfortable doing it independently. The bell rang, and I thanked Cas. He really didn't need to do that. I wasn't shocked that he did though, he always tried to help the guys somehow. The dude's a friggin angel.

* * *

I was distracted all of the football practice.  I was preoccupied thinking about Cas.

"Winchester, get your head in the game!" Coach Bobby yelled out.

I had known Bobby my whole life. He'd been more like a dad than my own blood. He was always there when Dad was deployed, on a hunting trip, or just drunk, unable to take care of Sam and me. Dad was never the most stable person. 

I nodded to Bobby and tried to focus. I'd been meaning to talk to the school counselor about getting me to see a therapist or something to get diagnosed. Bobby and I suspected I had ADHD but we wouldn't know for sure. Unfortunately, I knew that Dad didn't believe in therapy. And anyway, the doctor can't fix it if I'm distracted by Cas. God, the dude can move. His passes are perfect, he makes almost every goal, and his touchdowns are so impressive. God, I sound like I have a crush.

Practice finished, and we all headed to the locker room. Bobby gave a speech.

"We've got an away game tomorrow, folks. I expect the best behavior from you all, or you will not go to the sports Valentine's Day party. I mean it." Bobby continued, "I know that this year has been hard with the Superbowl being delayed due to extenuating circumstances, but I still need you idjits to be good."

"Yes, coach," We deadpanned in unison like cult members. We started exiting the locker room.

"Dean, I would like you to stay," Coach said sternly.

Oh shit. 

Bobby led me to his office and motioned for me to sit in a chair.

"What's up with you, son?" Bobby questioned, "You've got that look, is it a girl? You're not back with Jo, are you? Lisa? Or is it a guy or an enby? You know that I don't care…"

"No, it's no one," I'm such a liar. I've had a crush on Cas since he moved here in fourth grade, and Bobby can see right through my bullshit.

"Bull," Bobby raised his eyebrows.

I shrugged. I couldn't even imagine what dad would say. Actually, I could. It would be to get out of his house and never come back.

"So that's it, you just wanted to be nosey? Besides, it's no one, and dad would never let me." I sighed.

"Don't worry about your old man. I'd take care of it. Mr. King and I always have a place for you and Sam anyway." Bobby was dating Mr. Crowley, no one but Sam and I knew.

I thanked him and left to go pick up Sam from the middle school. Boy, he had grown up so fast. I remembered when he was born. And when mom died.

* * *

I pulled up at the school, music blaring. Sam rushed to my car and opened the door.

"Can you drive me to Jess's house?" Sam asked.

"No, tonight's family dinner night." Dad's A.A. sponsor told him that it was a good idea to start trying to be more of a part of our lives. That started with dinner, I guess.

* * *

Dinner with Dad was painful. Sam and Dad bickered back and forth about every single little thing. Sam wanted to go to college, Dad wanted him to keep up with the family business, then Sam said that hunting and the military don't count as a legacy. I hate it here.

"Sam, give it a rest." I dropped my fork into Cambell's chicken noodle with stars.

"You're not siding with him, are you?" Sam's face was defensive.

"I'm the adult here." Dad slurred.

"A half of one at best," I muttered under my breath.

"What was that, boy?" Dad's face had that look I didn't like.

"Nothing, sir," I was trying not to get killed.

Creak. Dad slid his chair back and walked over to me. As he hovered over my head, my heart dropped to my stomach. He held his hand out and swung. 

I could feel the tingling on my face as he said, "Say something else, and it's gonna be somewhere else."

Sam got up from the table and ran to his room. I hated when Sam saw this. I knew it would hurt him more, but I still spoke anyway. It's hard. I knew Dad loved us. He just didn't know how to express it.

I walked away from the table as Dad drank more beer.

"Sam, you know that…" I couldn't think of an excuse, so I said, "Open the door, please."

Sam opened the door. His eyes were red, stress hives had formed on his arm. I wanted to hold him and tell him I would get us out here. I tried to protect him. I wanted him to always be safe. I just wish he knew Dad before Mom died. 

"Why?" Sam asked, "Why do you just sit there and take it."

So he won't come after you, I wanted to say. Instead, I just shrugged as he closed the door in frustration.

* * *

I woke up early to go on a run to clear my head. As I ran, I saw a familiar face. It was Cas, walking a fluffy golden retriever. There was a redheaded girl next to him. I didn't know her, but she was pretty. I stopped jogging and stared for a moment.

"Hey!" I waved.

"Oh hey, Dean!" Cas's face brightened. He turned to the girl, "Anna, this is Dean Winchester."

Anna threw up a hand shyly. I smiled in response. 

"Catch you later, I guess," I said as I walked away.

It was nice to see Cas, and he looked happy to see me. His sister was nice as well. I thought of the interaction as I strolled to the abandoned house on the end of the street. Sam always asked why I liked that place so much, but I don't know why. I just like creepy things. The house feels almost supernatural. 

* * *

"Hey!" Someone hit me in the back. Jo.

"Hay is for horses," Jo grinned. "Got a date for the party?"

I shook my head. I was planning on asking Lisa but Jo was a fun party person. This could pose an issue, but I decided to ignore it.

"Well, you do now, silly goose," Jo said snarkily. 

I always took Jo to parties. She was indeed the life of them. We'd go, she'd flirt, I'd scope out the crowd, we'd both be disappointed, then drunkenly make out in the Impala. Maybe grab a milkshake. It was tradition, but I had never taken Lisa before. Jo and I were more like flirty friends; I really had something with Lisa.

"Same as always?" I asked.

"Yup, come get me at five, and I'll bring the refreshments." She was referring to the whiskey she would steal from her mom's bar.

Jo walked away, and I turned to see Lisa standing at her locker. She was grabbing a math textbook and a copy of Gatsby.

"Hey Lis," I started.

"What do you want, Dean," She seemed annoyed.

"Are you ok?"

"I thought you've been ignoring me," Her voice had little emotion.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't realize how distant I was," Now was not the best time. I decided to say nothing about the party.

"Also, I'm not going to the party. My mom is making me watch my sister." Lisa was disappointed.

"Aw man," Score. This would work out.

We departed from the hallway, and I went to class.

* * *

School could not end fast enough. I couldn't wait for the game.

"Winchester, come see me," Mr. Crowley ordered me to his desk.

I hesitantly got up. He seemed pleased. I could not think of what this could possibly be about.

"Dean, your make-up test is perfect," His voice was enthusiastic. "I'm very proud."

Wow. I could not believe this. I thought for sure that I had flunked. As I breezed by, Cas gave me a thumbs up. I would have to thank him later.

* * *

The rest of the day flew by like cake. 

The team gathered in the locker room before entering the busses. Coach Bobby gave us one last speech.

"Alright, boys, remember what I said yesterday. Be polite and respectful but kick butt," The team cheered as soon as he said it.

We filled into the bus like sardines. This would be unpleasant on the ride home. I made sure I sat next to Cas to talk about science.

"Hey man, thank you so much," I patted his shoulder. 

"Of course," He didn't even look up from his book.

"What's it about" I pointed to On the Road.

"Oh, it's not your kind of book. You wouldn't like it," Cas muttered assertively. 

"I'm sure I would"

"When I finish, I'll let you borrow it," Cas clearly was uncomfortable.

"Ok," I decided not to press.

We sat in awkward silence. It was painful. I tried not to stare while he read his book, but he's all I wanted to pay attention to. I noticed the way his eyes glowed, the way his lip curled when he read something funny, the way he brushed his fringe away from his face.

"Dean...Dean...Dean," I finally noticed that Cas was talking to me.

"Huh?" Shit.

"You're staring," 

"You're a pretty picture," I tried to laugh it off, and I guess it worked because he smiled.

He titled his head in surprise at the comment, but he didn't say anything about it, just turned to his book again. I stared more this time, making it very obvious. He looked up again and grinned. This time, I scooted closer. Now, we were only inches apart. Without looking up, he put his head on my shoulder and continued reading. His hair was soft against my cheek. His arm fit perfectly next to mine. I felt so warm and fuzzy. I never had this feeling before.

* * *

"Hut, hut, 67," Bobby was yelling out commands, "Let's go, boys!"

The bright lights lit up the dark field. It was the fourth quarter, and things were looking good. Tried to keep my head in the game as I made a pass to Cas. Cas fumbled the ball, and another player tackled him.

"What are you doing, Novak?" Bobby yelled. Fumbles were out of character for Cas.

I noticed that the opponent was on top of Cas. This was more malicious than just a tackle. 

"Hey!" Gabe tried to break them up but got lost in the mix. 

Finally, a ref noticed and threw up a flag, "Fifteen-yard penalty!"

Cas stumbled up, his lip was bleeding, and a bruise formed around his eye. We cleared the field to regroup. Cas would most-likely be evaluated, and that player, Azazel, would be suspended. Bobby took Cas to the medical station and, after, walked to the refs and the other coach. You could see them conversing. Bobby's face was solemn.

"So, after talking to the other coach and the refs, we've decided to end this game. The behavior was unacceptable, and we want to prevent any other incidents from happening." Bob said, disappointingly. 

"Ugh, I want to kill this kid!" Gabe yelled. His face was red hot.

"Exactly," Cas spoke up from the bench. No one even noticed that he walked over. "This is what we want to prevent." 

Gabe crossed his arms. He's quite the drama queen.

Bobby told us to gather our stuff and meet him outside to get on the bus. Most of the team was able to grab their belongings quickly. I was about to leave the locker room when I heard someone grunt. They sounded frustrated. 

"Dean! Are you still in here?" Cas called out.

"Um...yeah? Why?"

Cas walked out from behind a row of lockers, shirtless. I tried to contain myself, but the sweat against his skin, the ruffled wet hair, the smile, he looked hot. I must say.

He looked defeated, "I can't find my bag."

I nodded, and Cas continued, "Can you tell Coach Singer that I'll be late? I need to find my bag."

I ran to Bobby, "Cas can't find his bag. I'm gonna stay and help him. I'll call for you to pick me up later."

"Sounds good, kiddo," Bobby gave me two thumbs up.

I ran back to Cas just to find him with his head between his knees on a bench. I didn't know what to do, so I just placed my hand on his back and left it there. 

The room smelled of old sweat and mud. The smell was so overwhelming, I don't know how I didn't notice it earlier. There are lots of things I haven't seen, I start to think about what I've actually paid attention to.

"Cas?" I question. "Are you ok?"

He shook his head. He didn't even move from his position, so I got up to look around. The lockers didn't have locks, so I opened all of them. Nothing. I checked under benches, in stalls; I even looked by the toilets.

"Man, I can't find it," I sighed.

Seconds after I said those words, the lights went out, and I heard the twist of a key.

"Damnit!" I'd never heard Cas curse before, "What are we gonna do?"

"Cas, I don't know," I said as I tried to think. 

I opened my phone to see that it was dead. I couldn't use the flashlight, and if Cas didn't have his bag, he didn't have his phone with him. Thankfully, I had a charger in my pocket, but it would take at least an hour for my Motorola to charge. Damn, that phone takes forever.

"We're gonna miss the party, and it's all my fault," Cas started sobbing.

"No, don't cry," I don't do well with tears. I sat back down on the bench.

"Dean…" Cas scooted away from me.

"What?" I moved closer so I could hear him through the sobs.

Cas turned and kissed me. His soft lips against mine felt like heaven on a platter. He ran his hands through my hair as he swung his legs over onto my lap. I lay down on my back as he leaned into me. I began kissing back but still letting him lead. This is what I wanted. I've been yearning for this. He moves from my lips to my neck, and I run my hands across his muscles.

"Dean?"

"Cas?"

"God, I love it when you say my name," He says as he undresses me faster.

* * *

After we finish, I check my phone to see if it is charged. The time says 7:15. It's only been an hour since the game ended, so we're not too late.

"So what do we do now?" Cas was lying on the bench, looking at the ceiling.

"Call Bobby to pick us up, I guess?" I ran out of solutions, "I think someone stole it."

"You're probably right, but how do we get out of here?" Cas questioned.

I did not think about that. We were in a locked locker room after school hours with no way of getting out or seeing.

It took me a moment, but I came up with a solution. There's a window high up in the back, so I slid another bench towards it so I could reach it. I flicked the lock on the window, and it budged. It was a small window, but I could climb up and slide my torso through without issue. 

"Cas!" I yelled as I slid downwards out of the window, back into the locker room.

"What?"

"I found a solution."

* * *

Bobby arrived quickly to pick up a poor freezing shirtless Cas and me.

"No bag?" Bobby questioned.

We shrugged and told him we couldn't find it. Bobby said that we were never playing this school again. Cas and I were content with that. I looked over to Cas and smiled. He smiled back and giggled. I held out my hand, and he took it. I felt the warm sensation through my body again as he touched me.

"What's up with you guys?" Bobby asked.

"Nothing," I smiled but quickly pulled my hand away from Cas. I wasn't ready to tell Bobby yet.

* * *

We arrived at Valentine's party, and Jo was the first to greet me.

"Did you forget about me?" Jo wrinkled her nose in annoyance.

"Sorry, I was looking for Cas's bag." I'm not lying.

"Well, I found another date." Jo turned to a girl, Lisa.

"Hey Dean," Lisa waved and pointed to a redhead, "Meet Charlie!"

"Hi! I'm Jo's girlfriend!" Charlie stuck out her hand enthusiastically. 

I laughed—what a wild night. I strolled over to the drink table and grabbed some punch. Cas found me through the crowd. He was shy now.

"Dean? Are we going to talk about this?" Cas insisted.

"Sure."

"I like you."

"I get that." I wondered what the problem was.

"And?" Cas seemed unsure.

I moved closer to Cas and hugged him. 

Cas told me that Gabe had grabbed his bag from the locker room because he knew that Cas was hurt. Gabe was goofy but kind at heart. Cas was thankful that he did, and no one stole it.

That reminded me that I had something to give Cas. I opened my bag and handed Cas a mixtape with some Zeppelin favorites.

"Dean, I can't take this," Cas was in awe.

"It's a gift; you keep those." I smiled and took his hand to dance.

[1000roughdrafts]

Never Have I Ever (1)

Square Filled: Mutual Pining  Pairing: Dean Winchester X Fem!reader, Sam x Jess, Cas x ? 😉(only mentioned) Warnings: slight angst, language, kissing, implied smut (kinda, since part 2 is all the smut) OOC Dean,  Summary: College!AU - Dean gets jealous of the attention he thinks you’re receiving from Cas during a small party at your house and doesn’t know what to do with it, so he leaves the room to keep drinking.  A/N: originally starting writing this for my jackhammer square for kink bingo, but when I reached nearly 4K before getting to the beginning of the smut I realized I should split into 2 parts. Also on mobile and having issues. AND A HUGE THANK YOU TO @deanwanddamons​ for being my beta!!! <3  Word Count: 3.7k

Written for @spndeanbingo​

With laughter echoing in the small quarters of your living room, your roommate and best friend, Jess, dances on the coffee table to the music playing from cheap television speakers. Standing behind the couch as you watch her, you throw back the last of your drink. Setting the glass on the kitchen counter, you mutter an ‘oops’ when it clunks against the tile.

After scanning the room, hoping to see Dean, you wave a hand at Jess, “okay, okay, get down from there before you break something,” you giggle.  Walking around the couch, you point at Sam, “help her down, will ya? Cas, you see where Dean ran off to?”

Lifting his eyes only long enough to look from one side to the other, he goes back to his phone, “probably making another drink? You know how he loves his whiskey,” he shrugs, leaning back into the chair.

Rolling your eyes, you raise your voice, “okay, no one start any games until I find him.” You point at Jess, “and stay off the table, please.”

Straightening out her back to mock salute at you, she breaks into laughter before turning back to Sam.

Leaning forward, you check the dining room once more. Nothing. Turning on your heels, you head down the hallway to check the bedrooms, even knocking on the bathroom door. You frown when you realize that maybe he left without saying goodbye.

Sighing, you turn the corner to see the door of your office shut. With your palm pressed against the door, you turn the knob. It creaks loudly as you push it open.

Dean sits in the chair at your desk, twisting the cap of the whiskey as he glances over at you, an annoyed breath heaving through his nose. Turning his head back to the bottle, he pours himself a glass. He leans back in the chair as he brings it to his lips.

“Dean-o,” you sing, taking slow and cautious steps over to him. “Whatcha doin’ in here all by your lonesome?” You bend to kneel next to him, placing a hand on the desk to keep your balance.

“Ah, just thought I’d check over my stupid English paper a few more times,” he responds looking down at you with a cramped smile. “Don’t wanna fail that class again, even if the teach is hot,” he says through a chuckle.

“Mrs. Rose is pretty hot, isn’t she?” you smile, making him smirk. “Too bad she’s married.” Nodding he takes a sip of whiskey, “But I call bullshit,” you chuckle, “I know you a lot better than that, Winchester.” Pausing for a moment, you stand, propping your hands on your hips before speaking again, “seriously, what’s up with you?”

“It’s nothing, Y/N, honestly,” he says, “you should be out there having fun with Cas, and everyone else,” he sighs, and you notice the bitterness in his tone as he says the name. “Not in here with me.”

“But I love spending time with you,” you say, keeping your thoughts to yourself for a moment.

You walk behind him, going over to the other side of the desk, and grab a cup that’s been there for who knows how long. Giving it a quick once over, you shrug, deciding empty is clean enough. With a mischievous grin, you slow and exaggerate your movements, hoping to entice Dean into watching you before you slowly begin to fill the cup with whiskey.

When the liquid nearly reaches the brim, he sets his own glass down and jerks forward, “woah, woah, woah,” he says, holding an open hand up at you. Hiding your smile, you set the bottle on the table and carefully bring the nearly overflowing cup to your lips. “Jesus, Y/N, you’re only supposed to fill it a quarter way, half at most,” he says, leaning back. “You’re gonna spill it everywhere,” he vexatiously adds, looking up at you.

Tilting his head slightly, he spots the playful glimmer in your eyes. He quickly wets his lips before clicking his tongue, shifting his weight in the chair. With an elbow resting on the desk, he points a finger at you, “did you do that just to get a reaction outta me?” His words are hot and tempered, as though he’s annoyed you would do such a thing. The smile in his eyes, however, says otherwise.

You set the glass on the desk next to his, “no, of course not!” you lie, holding a hand to your chest. “I’m just thirsty,” you say, turning to sit on his lap. With his hand instinctively resting on your back, you lean into it like the many times you’d done in the past.

Looking into his eyes, you bring the drink to your lips, hoping that would numb the reaction you have to his smile. Clearing his throat, he takes his hand off of you.

“What’re you doing, Y/N?” he asks in a soft voice.

“We’re about to play Never Have I Ever, and I don’t want you feeling left out,” you slur.

His eyes shift down your torso, “I meant right now,” he says.

Looking down into your lap, you tilt your head back up, your eyes meeting his, “does this make you uncomfortable now?” you ask, genuinely curious, but with liquor coursing through your veins, it doesn’t quite come off that way.

“Yeah,” he says softly, “well, I mean, no. Kind of,” he says, head tilted slightly. “But not for the reasons you might think,” he confesses.

“Why then?” you ask, intrigued.

“Because, Y/N,” he breathes, pinching the bridge of his nose. You can see by the way his eyes distractedly jump around the room that he is choosing his words carefully. Letting out a long breath, he shifts both of you in the chair, his hand finding its way onto your back again. “Because I see the way Cas looks at you, and the way you’ve been looking at him, and this-” he wags a finger between the two of you, “doesn’t sit right with me knowing how he feels about you.”

Rocking your torso away from him, you squint down at him. “You think Cas and I have a thing?” you scoff as you take a gulp of your whiskey. Your face twists as it goes down, and you swallow again to get the taste from your mouth, nodding to help it. “You couldn’t get any further from the truth if you tried. We barely know him! Plus, I’m fairly certain that I’m not even his type, if you know what I mean,” you say, your face scrunching up in thought.

Ignoring the latter half of your statement, Dean reiterates his own point, “well, he’s my friend and it’s obvious to me that he likes you, so,” he waves his hand at you, shooing you away.

“But I’m your friend, too, Dean,” you say, “and for way longer, might I add.”

He sighs, “I know that, Y/N, I do. I’m just saying that-”

“What? His imaginary feelings matter more because ‘bro code’ or something?” you say accusingly.

“Not at all,” he shakes his head.

“So, he’s told you that he has some sort of feelings?”

“Not exactly-”

“He either did, or he didn’t, Dean,” you interrupt. “Which is it?” He sighs, hanging his head, “so you don’t know anything for sure, but you’re saying that because... why? What’s really goin’ on?”

For the first time since you met, the silence between you is nearly unbearable. Dropping your feet to the floor, you scoot off of him.

“Y/N-” he starts, wrapping his hand around your wrist.

You pull away and turn to face him, “whatever, Dean, let’s just drop it,” you nod your head to the door. “You gonna come hang out with us, or what?”

He lets out a long breath, looking into his lap. The moment for him to tell the truth has passed, leaving him unsure of when, or if, he’d ever get to, and he curses himself for not being straight with you from the get go. Standing, he motions for you to lead the way.

You walk out to see Jess on the coffee table again, Sam sitting on the edge of the couch, egging her on with dollar bills. Cas sits in the same position you left him in, eyes still planted on his phone.

“Jess!” you scold, “I seriously don’t feel like taking you to the hospital tonight. For the love of my sanity, please get the fuck down,” you say before switching your attention to Sam, “quit being a bad influence or you’re grounded,” you laugh. They both mutter ‘sorry’ through a giggle, and Sam holds his hands out to help her into his lap.

“I tried to warn them,” Cas says in a monotone voice.

“Doubtful,” you sass, grabbing the remote to lower the volume. “Maybe if you were paying attention to anything besides that damn phone, they’d have listened,” you jest.

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly, scooting forward in the recliner, pulling the phone down to meet your eyes, he points at it. “I met this guy... Gabe,” his eyes roll back for a short moment as he moans lightly, “oh, he’s amazing. We’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, but I really think he’s the one,” he smiles, going back to his phone.

You chuckle, turning to give Dean your best ‘I told you so’ eyes. He shrugs, and you accept it as a for-now apology.

“Invite him over,” you suggest, “but either way, we’re about to play more games, so please put it away. Just for a little while.”

Taking a few steps forward, you lean to set the remote back onto the coffee table. Walking backwards, you misjudge the distance and accidentally bump into Dean. You quickly turn around to apologize, but when your eyes meet his, you feel like you’ve been hit by an asteroid.

You’re unsure if it’s from the alcohol, or the fact that he’s never looked at you with such fervor before, but your head spins. Is it the beat of the music pounding in your chest or are you really having an ever consuming response to Dean’s slightly curled lips and squinted eye?

“Really? Ohh, I don’t know if he would come,” Cas says, waving a hand, and reminding you that you are not, in fact, alone with Dean. Absentmindedly biting his lower lip, Cas contemplates the idea. “You know what? I’m gonna do it. Can’t hurt to try, right?” He finishes up the text and claps his hands, rubbing them together with a smile. “Oookay, what game we playin’?”

You clear your throat, ripping your eyes from Dean’s to plop onto the couch next to Jess. “Never Have I Ever; play it before?” you ask.

“I have,” he says.

Glancing at Dean, you pat the cushion next to you, “come on, sit,” you urge.

He playfully rolls his eyes before sitting down, his hand brushing against your arm as he rests it at his side.

“I’ll start,” Cas smiles, leaning forward. His eyes zone in on Dean, “never have I ever slept with a professor in hopes of passing a class,” he smirks.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean laughs, shaking his head. He reaches in front of him for his drink, the knuckles of his fingers sweeping across your arm as he does. Something inside of you screams that it was intentional, especially since that doesn’t happen twice in a row for no reason, but maybe you’re just reading too deep into it, you think. “You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?” he laughs, taking a drink.

“Did that even work?” Jess asks.

As the liquid glides down his throat, Dean can only shake his head.

Sam laughs, “don’t get any crazy ideas now,” he jokes.

“No, Jess, cause if it did, my GPA would be a helluva lot better than a three oh. Okay, my turn,” Dean says, clapping his hands together and scooting a bit forward. Now that it’s like that, he thinks, the game is on. “Never have I ever been arrested for public indecency,” he says, craning his neck to look at you expectantly.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” you laugh, rotating to face him as you hold a finger in the air. “You dared me to do it,” you say, turning to face the rest of your friends, “you don’t say no to a dare,” you add in a quieter voice as you shrug.

Everyone nods, humming in agreement. Cas laughs before asking what ‘indecency’ entailed.

You and Dean both speak out to tell the story, sharing a look before he apologized through laughter.

“It’s your embarrassing story, you tell it.”

Rolling your eyes, you turn to Cas, “it’s nothing, really. We snuck out to hang at the lake by our high school, and Dean struck up truth or dare. The first dare this asshole gave me was to skinny dip. I was more concerned about the cold water than I was about getting caught, and well,” you say.

“Wait, where was I?” Sam asks, leaning forward.

“Probably out with one of your geek friends,” Dean teases.

“Whatever, jerks.”

Dean laughs, “bitch,” turning to see you rubbing the outside of your glass, “drink,” he says, nudging your arm with his elbow.

“Oh, right,” you grin, pulling yourself from your thoughts.

After a few more rounds, your turn rolls around again. “Uh, okay, never have I ever,” you look over at the way Jess and Sam ogle over each other and smile. “Never have I ever broken a bone,” you say, struggling to keep a straight face.

Sam’s eyes shoot right at you, his lips pursed together into a glower. Dean’s laughter fills your ears, causing you to break. You know the story, you were there, but you weren’t sure if he’d told Jess and it was absolutely something she ought to know about him.

“Go on, Sammy. Drink up,” Dean taunts, holding the glass in the air in a mock toast.

Sam rolled his eyes before telling Cas and Jess about the time you and Dean were able to convince him he was Batman. Poor kid thought he could fly, jumped off the room of their shed and broke his arm.

You weren’t expecting it. Dean did it and was just fine. Of course, as a kid, when your friend’s little brother breaks their arm, you panic, but Dean... he knew exactly what to do. He propped little Sammy onto the handlebars of his bike and rode all the way to the emergency room, instructing you to follow behind on yours. Dean kept a straight, yet comforting face the entire time, never once showing Sam how scared and guilty it really made him feel.

Little did he know how cool that made him in Sam’s eyes; his protective brother, saving the day once again. Dean didn’t forgive himself for a long time, not even after Sam told him that he was okay. As you look back on the way he spoke about himself that night, you realize just how badly it messed him up.

After sitting in the waiting room for what felt like hours, Sam was brought out by a nurse, cradling his casted up arm. Dean ran to his brother, dropping to his knees in front of him, pleading for his forgiveness, while trying to bribe him out of telling their parents.

You chuckle when the memory of your words come to mind, “they’re gonna know something happened the minute he walks through the door with that cast on his arm, dufus.”

“Shut up, Y/L/N,” Dean had grumbled, bringing himself to his feet. Wrapping an arm around his little brother, the three of you walked your bikes home as the sky darkened.

“Y/N,” a voice calls you out of your thoughts, “earth to Y/N,” Jess sings, rocking her shoulder into yours.

“Hm,” you hum, “yep, I’m listening,” you say, straightening out your back as they laugh.

“I guess we should call it a night, then, huh?” Cas suggests, pulling out his phone. “At least I should. Gabe wants to meet at that bar across from my place,” he says, waggling his eyebrows.

“Go get him,” Sam encourages with a laugh.

After a glance at the two love birds sitting next to you, Jess giggles and speaks up, “we’re gonna go to bed, too,” she smiles, standing up and reaching down for Sam’s hands.

As Cas says his goodbye and walks out of the door, Dean gasps out, but holds his tongue until Cas leaves. Turning to you, he says, “he was my ride home.”

“Oh, you can crash on the couch if you want. I know it’s not much, but...” you say, letting your words trail off.

Sam and Jess call out a goodnight as they walk down the hall and into her room.

“I appreciate that. Thing is, I’m not exactly tired,” he says.

“Me neither. Want another drink?” you offer, motioning to his empty cup.

He nods, leaning back into the couch as you reach for the bottle, “you sure you’re not tired? You zoned out for a bit there.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you say in a breath as you hand him the cup. “I was just thinking back on that day.”

“When Sam broke his arm? What about it?” he asks, sucking air in through his teeth after taking a sip.

“You were really mean to yourself, De.”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugs, “you know, I’m a big brother. I was supposed to be taking care of him, not breaking his arm,” he says in a self-deprecating laugh.

“You didn’t break his arm,” you correct.

He scoffs, “I may as well have.”

“I had a hand in that too, you know. The convincing that lead to it.”

“You were a kid,” he starts.

“So were you!” you shout in a hush tone.

He chuckles, shaking his head as he looks between his legs and into his drink.

“You turned out alright, you know that?” he says, nudging your shoulder with his.

Rocking into him, you laugh and look over at him, “so did you, Dean.” Pausing, you shift your weight so that you’re facing him, “you wanna tell me what was actually going on with you earlier?”

After a heavy sigh, he scoots forward a bit, cradling his drink with both hands. He fidgets with his thumbs for a moment before opening his mouth, closing it when he doesn't grasp the right words.

“You know how I dropped out of college last year?” he finally starts, only continuing when you nod, “well, I convinced myself I was gonna fail anyway, so I took the chance away completely, before I could let myself or anyone else down,” he says, eyes swimming in his drink, “it’s kind of like that.” You nod even though you’re not sure where he’s heading. “When I want something, I can do a damn good job convincing myself I don’t deserve it, or that I’ll mess it up, or I’ll - I’ll look for reasons that it can’t work out.” He finally looks over at you, “so, when I saw you and Cas earlier, I guess my mind just did the rest,” he trails off.

Though your heart pounds at what you think he’s trying to say, you play dumb, tilting your head to the side. Real Moments with Dean Winchester are rare.

He shakes out his shoulders and clears his throat. He takes a drink of his whiskey before setting the glass on the coffee table and turning to face you. With a hand on your knee, he softens his voice, “we have been friends for a long time, Y/N. Pretty much our entire lives, and the way that I feel about you could jeopardize tha-”

With so much to say, you decide to say nothing at all. Instead, you jump at the chance to kiss him like you’d wanted to for years. He rocks back against the arm of the sofa from the force of your kiss, but quickly wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you into his lap.

A soft moan escapes your lips that sounds more like a squeak and he pulls away, scanning your face for any discontent.

You smile, kissing him softly as you lower onto him, one leg on either side of his. You grind into him, soaking in his soft, nearly voiceless, moans against your lips.

Using your teeth, you pull his lower lip into your mouth, sucking gently. Bringing your hands to his sides, you push into him as you slide them up to the sides of his face. You rock your hips from one side to the other before grinding into him again.

His hands rest on your ass, squeezing you as he pulls your hips into him, and loosening his grip just slightly as you lift up for another thrust. Baring your teeth, you bite down enough on his lip to drive him crazy. His hands race up your back and onto your face, ripping his lip from your mouth while pulling your face closer to his. Turning his head, he deepens the kiss, keeping a tight grip on your face.

Until the music hits your ears, you hadn’t realized you were rocking your hips to the tempo. The song hits a short pause, and so do you, but when the music picks up again, you grind into him harder than before.

Dean’s head falls back against the couch, and you drop your lips to his neck. Starting at his collarbone, you let your tongue slip out of your mouth to lick his neck, wrapping your lips around his skin in a kiss.

Your hands work through hair as you continue your sloppy kisses up to the underneath of his jaw, licking behind his ear before taking the lobe into your mouth. Timing your hips to the music, you add the melody of your hums against his neck.

Bringing his head back up, he growls before grabbing you by the hips and rotating you to drop you onto the couch next to him. Placing his hand on your forehead, he brushes the hair out of your face and leans down to kiss you. His lips feel hot against yours until his cold hands slip underneath your shirt. Your back arches as he squeezes one breast. He takes his time in massaging it before moving onto the next, pinching your nipple through your bra.

You weakly suggest taking it to your room before anything escalates, and Jess or Sam walk in on you. Laughing at the image of that, he agrees, holding your hand as you walk him down the hallway and into your room.

To be continued... 

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[bishopsorphan]

Snapshots from the End of Days (SPN spoilers; Epic Ducifer AU)

“Dean, what the Hell did you do?”

Dean almost dropped his phone from shock. Every number. Every name. Every contact. They’d all gone to voicemail. All of them but Bishop.

---

The vampire sat at the table in the war room, chugging down his second mason jar of blood from the eligible donors that surrounded him. “So, let me get this straight. After Chuck got done destroying every alternate universe out there,” his voice sank as he licked his lips, “he came back. And raptured everyone but us off the planet. Because it makes for a good ending?”

“Yeah,” Gabe said, sitting down on the table beside him. “Sorry. I know how much you wanted to find your guy in some world where he didn’t shank you.”

“Decapitated,” Bishop clarified, showing off the scar that roped around his neck. “And it’s fine. Used to disappointment by now.”

“How’d you even survive?” Sam asked. “I mean, we – Dean, me, Luce, Jack, Cas, Nick, Dagon, Gabe, even Gwen – we’re his final main characters –“

“Gee, thanks, Sam.”

“No, I saw another world, another ending, where he used you to get us to kill each other. He said you weren’t his. He liked you as a character, but you weren’t really his.”

Bishop shrugged. “I’m technically dead twice over, Sam. Off the radar. Maybe he can’t find me.”

“It’s like he’s pulling from everywhere,” Gwen said. “Time travel, alternate universes. Crossovers. It’s not so much a Gospel as it is fanfiction anymore.”

Luce chuckled. “He’s out of ideas. Sam and Dean won’t kill each other. I bailed on the Apocalypse. Nick won’t kill Dean, wouldn’t give in to my evil twin, wouldn’t kill Gwen. We let Jack live. We fucked up his story. There’s nothing left.”

There was a knock at the door. They all turned to look at the sheet of metal, the room falling quiet.

“The last survivors sat together in a bunker,” Bishop intoned. “There was a knock at the door.” He finished off the last of the blood. “Shortest horror story in the book.”

---

It was another one. Another Luce. Another Nick. Another Bishop. Carbon copy.

“Goopy.”

Lucifer smiled, eyes glowing red, and swiped a finger under his nose as it started to leak black. “Guess who the Empty yeeted again?” He sauntered up to Nick. “You have anything to do with that, you sly dog?” He winked.

“You saved my daughter,” Nick said. “But you’re not the Lucifer I’ve been praying to.”

He frowned. “Party pooper. I brought a present, though.” He snapped his fingers and a woman in chains appeared. “It’s the final reaper,” he sing-songed.

---

“Wow, a betrayal,” Luce muttered from his place on the floor. “From evil me, even. Never saw that coming.”

“What do you say, Killer?” Lucifer asked, holding out a gold-plated hammer to Nick. “You and me against the world. Or in charge of it. Remaking it. Just like we planned.”

Nick licked his lips, looking back at his family. Then turned back to the angel he’d said yes to all those years ago. “Where’d you even find this?” He asked, taking the proffered weapon.

The angel smiled. “Went through your stuff. Knew you were the sentimental type.”

“Yeah,” he said. He turned back to the angel that had taken him in, Dean’s Lucifer, the one he’d been meant to kill the hunter to have. He smiled. Nodded. “Yes.”

When he turned back to the traitor, his eyes were red. He swung the hammer, and kept swinging until Chuck’s little mole was heaped in a bloody pile on the ground.

When he turned away from the corpse, his eyes were blue, Luce smiling up at him from his place on the ground. “You know, Nicky, when you suggested smelting down Michael’s sword and using it to coat some weapons just in case, I thought you were just being paranoid, but that was pretty smart.”

Bishop licked his lips, eyes trained on the corpse. “You guys gonna finish that?”

---

And just like that, everything was back to normal. Everyone was back, like they’d never left. Like the world had never stopped.

“You did it, kid,” Gabe said, slapping a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “You actually did it.”

Gwen threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “I knew you could.”

“So, that’s it,” Dean said. “Everything’s right.” His eyes followed the dog they’d found earlier as it trotted across the road.

Jack nodded. “Everything.”

“Bishop?”

It was a new voice, a voice only one of their group had ever heard before.

The vampire turned, his mouth falling open, hands shaking at his sides. “Aidan?”

He’d wanted this. It had been his whole reason behind helping Dean out of Purgatory. Helping Aidan. Saving Aidan. Finding Aidan. But Aidan had been gone. Buried. Lost. Caught up in coups and plagues and then a fire.

He’d searched, but found nothing. No way to fix the problem, not until Dean had reappeared, asked him for help saving a town from spirits from Hell. Not until he’d learned about Nick, about the existence of alternate realities, worlds where Aidan might be alive. Might be waiting for him.

And now here they were, standing in a busy street, staring at each other.

“Jack?” Gabriel asked.

“We talked about it,” the new God explained. “I asked Gabe for help. We were gonna find a way to let you hop between worlds. Because you helped us. And you were sad. But then Chuck destroyed them all.”

Bishop turned to the boy, tears in his eyes. “You…?” A hand touched his shoulder and he whirled back to Aidan.

“I saw,” Aidan said. “I saw what you did. You saved the world.”

“You died human. You got your door.”

“He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to be,” Jack explained. “I asked.”

Aidan smiled. “You loved me,” he said. “And I know that now. You… more than anything.”

Bishop smiled back. “Let’s go home.”

---

And they did. They all did.

To Boston.

Bishop and Aidan.

To the bunker.

Dean, Luce, Nick.

Sam and Gabriel.

Castiel and Dagon.

And to a future that only existed because she’d helped save it.

Gwen. Alone in her apartment. Until suddenly she wasn’t.

“Jack?”

He held up his hand in greeting. “Hi.”

“Is something wrong? What are you doing here?”

“I’m everywhere,” he said. “But I realized that the place I really want to be is here. With you.”

She smiled. “I want you to be here, too.”

---

And they lived happily ever after.

[lonewolf34500]

The plot thickens and this might of have left off in a cliffhanger. Drew I am so sorry and Kat you gave the motivation I needed to complete this. With that said I have no idea how long it will take me to write the next part since I am starting school again. I forgot to add what their tail designs are: Lucifer is the eastern blue devil, Gabriel is a rainbow parrot fish, and Raphael is a yellow fin tuna. The rest of this series can be found here and the rest of the story down below.

Panel 1: Council meeting

Lucifer: This is the fifth time I brought her a gift and she just thanked me and swam away. Like what is her deal I…

Ralph: This is a stupid rant! We are here to discuss a very important issue according to Michael.

Gabriel: This is so boring; I want to go eat some sweet snails, mangos, or a papaya right about now rather than be at this meeting. If this meeting doesn't happen any time soon I am leaving. 

Michael: As they enter the council chambers he hears his brothers arguing and whispers to Adam, “They are at it again.” He says much louder so his brothers will hear, “Hey, enough!” 

Panel 2:  Meeting Adam

Gabe: He is the first to speak after seeing his brother holding the other merman’s hand, “You two are holding hands! Is Mikey getting laid...finally!” He has a face splitting grin.

Lucifer: He grins and lets out a low chuckle, “Mikey is definitely getting laid. I like the new arm candy. Maybe I can take a turn with him and rough him up a bit.” He cackles at his brother's expression.

Michael: He grips his lance tighter, everything is telling him to throw it at Lucifer. He knew of the rumors but there was never any evidence. “Just because you are my brother does not mean you get to get away with comments like that. Adam will be shown respect as much as you show me,” he declares as he looks at his brothers. 

Gabe was smiling, but he was just happy for his brother. Raphael, as always, looked indifferent but silently he was happy for Michael, too. Lucifer was unfazed by his brother’s declaration. He rakes his eyes across Adam’s body and licks his lips hungrily. 

Adam: He  tries to not react to Lucifer’s behavior  but he still squeezes Michael’s hand for reassurance. “Michael has something to tell you that is why he called this meeting not so you could make rude comments,” Adam says as he crosses his arms. 

Michael: His brothers turn towards him waiting for him to speak, he takes a deep breath and lets it out, “Thank you Adam. Yes, I do have something to tell you and we need a plan so no fighting among yourselves. Leviathans are attacking other colonies, we need to protect them and stop them from attacking.” Michael looks at his brothers at some point Lucifer had actually started to listen to him and now had a blank expression. Gabe looks confused and Ralphael is furious, his hand is hovering close to his sword. 

“Why are you just telling us now! How long have you known?” asks Ralphael accusingly. 

“ Aren’t Leviathans stories we tell kids before they go to bed?” asks Gabriel at the same time.

“They are not just stories Gabe, they are real monsters that wage war on the colonies a long time ago. Father did not want you and Castiel to know I don’t know his reasons but he forbade us from talking about the subject and they became a scary story. Raphael I have known for some time when I received a report from a patrol of one of our smaller colonies had been attacked. I told you it was just a shark attack but it wasn't.” Michael finishes speaking still looking at the ground unable to look at his brothers. He feels Adam slip his hand in his and intertwined their fingers again and squeezes his hand. 

“Michel is okay, I know father was not the greatest dad ever anyways plus now we got a cool looking monster to fight,” jokes Gabriel giving a humorless laugh. 

“I hate that you lie to me but I have double patrols even though you told me not to because of all of this “shark attacks” but it is okay now we can come up with a plan together,” says Raphael. Michael slowly looks at them. He still sees Gabe’s pain behind his smile and a bit of anger but it is mostly targeted at their father, hopefully. Raphael is still angry at being lied to but he still wants to protect the colonies and he will calm down eventually. 

“Lucifer you haven’t said anything,” says Michael now looking at Lucifer’s still blank face.

“I have nothing to add it all has been said you are a liar and put everyone in danger all because you have been getting down and dirty with some common merfolk,” hisses Lucifer. 

“One more comment like that Lucifer I will kick you out of this meeting and your opinion will not matter understood,” Michael growls. Lucifer shrugs and remains silent. 

Panel 3: Meeting Dean and the hatchling and an egg

Dean: They swim to the Council Chambers as they come in they hear someone ask, “So what is the plan?” 

Cas leans towards Dean and whispers,” Let me do most of the talking and introduce you to them; they don’t know you are my mate.” He nods and follows Cas to the meeting room where he sees his brother Adam and four other mermen; they must be Cas’ brothers. Cas clutches the egg closer to his chest as he lets their presence known, “Hello.” All the mermen turn towards them stopping in mid sentences.

The first to speak was Michael, “Cassie what is going on? Why are you here?”

“Dean, you have kids now?” asks Adam, shocked to see his older brother being clutch by a hatchling by his tail. 

“ First, this is Dean my mate. Dean, these are my brothers. The one with the lance is Michael the leader of the colony, right behind him is Raphael the main healer. Gabriel is our head scholar, and then there is Lucifer, the one that deals the punishment when someone breaks the laws,” says Cas. Dean looks at them again, Michael has a stern face but a slight smile but if you weren't looking closely you will miss it and Raphael just looked stern. While Gabriel has a wide smile and Lucifer looks like he woke up on the wrong side of the nest.

“Nice to meet you Dean but this doesn't explain why you have hatchlings,” says Michael. 

“Before you answer that Cas, why are you here Adam?” asks Dean, still confused by Adam’s presence at this meeting.

“I am with Michael,” Adam says shyly.

Michael wraps one arm possessively around Adam, “Yes I am courting him,” he confirms as he nuzzles behind Adam’s fin making Adam blush. 

The whole room fills up with Gabriel’s laughter, “Why not pee on him while you are at it Micky. This meeting is the most interesting one ever first Leviathans, Cassie has swam off and mated with hatchlings, and Micky is now marking his territory.”

“Speaking of hatchlings can we get back to the issues at hand,” says Raphael. 

“Right we found a nesting area that was completely destroyed by something. The only thing that remained was this egg and this hatchling. We just wanted to tell you about it and we are also adopting them,” Dean explains as he puts his hand on the little hatchling's head. 

Panel 4: Meeting Crowley

Dean:  They were interrupted again before anyone could say anything again by an octopus looking creature. “Hello darlings,” says the man with an odd accent. Raphael takes out his sword and Michael grips his lance firmer while pulling Adam closer. Castiel holds the egg close while shielding Dean from the stranger as Dean pulls him close and pushes their little girl behind him. Lucifer balls his hand into a fist and looks furious and Gabe just observes the stranger with curiosity and intrigued. 

“Who are you? This a private meeting, how did you get past the patrols and guards,” asks Michael calmly but his stares intently. 

“Let me introduce myself the name is Crowley. Your patrols are predictable so it is easy to get in and your guards are asleep with a little bit of magic, it helps being the son of a witch,” Crowley smirks, “Anyways I came to make a deal but it looks like you have some eels among you.”

“What are you talking about man?” asks Dean not sure about the new comer.

“I think Michael and tentacles here should go talk in private,” suggests Gabriel. 

“I should go with Michael. I am not letting him,” says Raphael pointing his sword towards Crowley, “Out of my sight especially around Michael.” 

“Dean and Castiel take your hatchlings to your den. I will talk to you both later,” Michael says looking at Dean. Dean mumbles under his breath, not happy at being dismissed but he does need to protect his family so he nodes as he ushers them out of the chambers.

Michael: Sees his brother go before looking at the rest of the room. “Okay Raphael and Gabriel you are coming with me. Adam go and wait for me in my den. Lucifer go and get a report on the patrols, also check on the guards to make sure they are going to be fine.”

“Why am I the one to go check on them? I am going with all of you,” Lucifer growls.

“ I need someone to check on them and we are just listening to him not making a decision,” explains Michael.

“No you are dismissing me like always,” says Lucifer with fury in his eyes.

“You just insulted Adam multiple times, you keep arguing with me, always wanting to be right and you never listen to anyone else’s opinion besides yours,” says Michael, growing more frustrated with his brother.

“Lucifer please just go and check on the guards and patrols we will tell you later what he has to say like Michael said we are just listening not making a final decision,” says Gabriel trying to diffuse the situation. 

“Whatever,” mutters Lucifer under his breath and swims off. 

“I will be waiting for you,” says Adam as he kisses Michael’s cheek and swims off too. 

“Are we done with all the mushy, feely, sappy stuff and temper tantrums because we have more important stuff to discuss,” sighs Crowley. 

Michael takes them to a smaller room and Raphael stands guard behind Crowley, “Alright what is it that you want?”asks Michael.

“Like I said I want to make a deal as you know the Leviathans are back I will give you more information about them,” answers Crowley.

“Why would you have information about them? How do we know it is reliable and you are not just lying?”Michael  prompts further.

“I have worked with them so they don’t attack the pack but I kind of have been overthrown and well I am willing to give information,'' replies Crowley.

“What is the catch? I don’t think you are just giving this information away out of the goodness of your heart,” snides Raphael. 

“Well you are not just the silent type you have a funny bone in there glad to see it didn’t go all to waste on shorty over there,” says Crowley smirking as he tilts his head towards Gabriel.

“Look who is calling someone short shorty, tentacles,” Gabe snarks back. 

“Can we focus or are we just going to do this all night,” says Michael. 

“Right yes there is a catch you have to provide protection and a den for me to stay until the threat is dealt with and I can potentially return to the pack. In return I will give you all the information I know,” concludes Crowley.

“This sounds reasonable but we will like to discuss this with the full council present but for now you will be given a den with guards outside and no magic to get away. You will be allowed to move around with escorts until we have made a final decision,” says Michael sternly.

“I will not talk to the eel although there are more of them.You will be wise to not to give up the upper hand away just like that, do not tell him anything,” warns Crowley. Michael knows this could be true; he remembers all the complaints and reports of missing, dead, or heavily traumatized merfolk that wouldn’t talk even now.   

“We will go with what Michael said and we will come up with something to tell Lucifer, perhaps we could partially lie to him so some truth but not all of it,” suggested Gabriel.

“Does he know who you are? Are you in danger from him?” asks Raphael. 

“I am not sure if he knows who I am but I am going to assume he does and I might indeed be in danger from him and every other bloody thing that is trying to kill me,” scoffs Crowley.

“One more question, do you know who the other eels are?” asks Raphael.

“I know he has a pack that follows all of his orders. The only names I have heard are Azazel, Alastair, and Lilith but I am sure there are more,” answers Crowley.

“Thank you Crowley for this information and we will try to keep you safe. That will be it for this meeting,” declares Michael. Michael gives his soldiers the orders before he goes to his den to meet Adam as his brothers leave to tend to other things in the colony. Michael enters his den to find Adam curled up on himself and badly bruised and bloody. 

Tagging: @shadowywerewolfqueen @peanutbutterandgrapejelly @fantastikitty7 @deservetobesaved @katishereintown

[unityghost]

Release

For the 27th installment of Post-Asmodeus Sabriel Feels, I'm fulfilling two requests from Twistedlove on Archive of Our Own: write something that takes place a little earlier in the series, and show Sam's response to one of the fainting spells to which past stories have alluded.

“You mentioned this chapter [’To Slip and Fall’] about him losing consciousness in the past. I wonder how Sam reacted to that.”

I envision this as taking place somewhere between the second and third entries ("Heavy" and "Midnight Blue"). I've said it before: continuity is a little out of my reach because this was never supposed to become a series (whoopsie), but I do what I can to keep things as smooth as possible.

Got me thinking about the time I fainted in front of a crowd while giving a poetry reading. Womp womp.

Thanks for reading!

On the seventh consecutive day of rain, time began to feel crooked. Gabriel fell asleep at lunchtime and woke two hours later to his door creaking open.

Sam smiled when Gabriel rolled over to look at him. “Hey, Gabriel.”

Gabriel groaned and pressed the heels of his hands over either temple to try and ease an oncoming headache. “Good to see you, Sam. My favorite part of the reunion was when you didn’t knock.”

“You must’ve slept through it. We haven’t seen you in a few hours. Everything okay on your end?”

“I’m fine. What do you need?”

“Just wanted to let you know we saved some casserole for you in case you were hungry. I mean, you haven’t eaten since …”

Gabriel shoved himself upright. “I don’t remember either.”

Sam frowned at him, then glanced over his shoulder into the hall. “Hey … is it all right if I step in for a second?”

Gabriel scanned Sam’s face, his hands, his body. “What for?”

Sam looked a little surprised by the shift in Gabriel’s tone. “You can say no.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“I’m not …” Sam offered an uncertain smile. “I’m not here to punish you or whatever, if that’s where your mind went.”

Gabriel cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “No, that isn’t what I thought. Um, yeah, make yourself comfy, champ.”

Sam stepped inside and shut the door behind him. “I was only looking to check up on you. Figured maybe you wanted to talk to me.”

Gabriel almost asked, Why? What am I doing wrong? Instead he answered with, “About what?”

“Well,” said Sam, “For one, you look kind of … awful.”

“That’s according to plan. The last thing I’d want to do is make any one of you feel jealous.”

“And also, you - ”

“Wait.” Gabriel held up a hand. “Listen, Sam: I’m sorry, but at the moment I’m not sure I have the stamina to rifle through a scrapbook full of bad memories. You know better than anybody how much that kind of works takes out of the both of us.”

Sam shrugged. “We don’t have to do anything like that. We could just … hang out.” He waited for Gabriel to reply. When Gabriel said nothing, Sam declared, “No problem. In the meantime, I guess maybe I’ll go get some coffee and hang out in the library. Dean just now told me he thinks he might’ve found us a case to work on in Connecticut. Nothing’s for sure yet, but might as well use the time to dig up whatever info might end up being useful, right? So if you need me - ”

“Don’t know why I would.”

“ - I’ll be in the library.” Sam turned, and placed a hand on the doorknob.

“Hold on,” said Gabriel, and Sam turned back. “Don’t go all the way to Connecticut.”

“We don’t have plans yet. Plus, I don’t have to be the one to go if it makes you nervous.”

“No one’s nervous; I just … I … you know.”

Sam looked puzzled. “No. I don’t know.”

What was Gabriel doing? It was ridiculous - not to mention wildly imprudent - that he should try and dictate Sam’s actions. It was even more absurd that he should feel threatened by the prospect of Sam not being nearby.

“Ah, never mind,” said Gabriel. “You can totally go to Connecticut. Pennsylvania. Arkansas. Colorado. The Pyrenees. Anywhere that tickles your fancy, Sam.”

Sam let go of the doorknob. “Gabriel, don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you’re spending too much time alone.”

Gabriel glanced at the floor, thinking of the nightmares and flashbacks to which Sam had been witness since Gabriel first arrived at the bunker several weeks earlier. He was afraid that, if he said anything now, he would be perpetuating a trend that he did not want to continue. “There’s some way to describe what’s up with me, but I’m not confident about getting it right.”

“Bad dreams?”

“Yeah. For sure. Always.” He continued to avoid Sam’s gaze. “They come at odd hours when I can’t keep track of day and night. The rain, you know? Not like we can see it from here. But I feel it. It’s weird, actually; it’s like I can sense it in a way I couldn’t before. Near-gracelessness and whatnot - makes me tired, causes pain … everything feels different now. But it’s not about the nightmares - that isn’t new.”

“So what else, then? Can you tell me?”

Gabriel remained silent.

“Gabriel,” Sam said, “You’re the only one who knows what you’re feeling.”

Gabriel shook his head. “I’m the only one who feels what I’m feeling. But I don’t know what it is, or how to give an accurate picture. Headachey, I guess. Exhausted.”

Sam waited for him to say more. When Gabriel didn’t go on, Sam took a few cautious steps toward the bed and sat beside him.

“I feel like you might be getting worse,” Sam said softly, “Not better.”

“Yeah, well ...”

“You’re spending a lot of time by yourself. And whenever any of us tries to get you to hang out, or eat, or go for a walk, or whatever, you just sort of … hide.”

“I don’t hide.”

“What would you call it?”

“Voluntary seclusion.”

“I’m not prosecuting you. You know that, right? It isn’t wrong if you need time to yourself. It’s just that I’ve never thought of you as a wallflower.”

“Excuse you. I’m the prettiest of all wallflowers; I’m a whole-ass bouquet.”

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Sam’s tone was gentle. “As best you can?”

Gabriel fidgeted. “I mean … sure. I can give you what I know. But that’s all I’ve got.”

“Yeah, tell me.”

Gabriel took a deep breath, released it, and began: “You guys have a good, solid rhythm going. Your own thing. Your own little family. Who am I to look for a place in that, huh? Plus - and I know you won’t be happy about this, Sam, but it is what it is - sometimes I prefer not to be around the others. Dean is … intense, Cas is hard to read - especially when my grace is low and I can’t always communicate with him in ways I might have before - and Jack is … look, the fact of the matter is Jack is a stranger. I’m sorry, but you’re the only one I can trust even a little bit, and otherwise I’d rather be alone.

“There’s one more thing, and it doesn’t make a lick of sense: most of the time, I wish I wasn’t by myself - but I feel like I have no choice. Now, obviously, nobody’s depriving me of the option to saunter out there and say, ‘Screw it, I know not one of you is looking to throw me around like a bargain-bin Raggedy-Ann knockoff.’ But here I am, some castaway watching a cruise ship glide past on still waters, and I’m not doing a damn thing to get myself rescued.” Gabriel clenched his jaw. “So I go with plan B: lock myself in here like a sick kitten and cry.”

He heard Sam shift beside him.

“The point is,” Gabriel went on, “None of this makes sense. I don’t make sense.”

“I think it makes sense.” Gabriel tried to catch any revulsion or annoyance in Sam’s voice and couldn’t. “All of it makes sense to me.”

“Bully for you, Sam. I don’t know what metric you’re using, but something ain’t adding up.”

“I think you just need to let yourself adjust. Give yourself some space to heal. And time - you gotta give yourself time before you can expect to really feel better.”

Gabriel raised his eyes to meet Sam’s. “Time and space sound fantastic, but they’re not what I need. I need my grace. I need to forget about Asmodeus. And - ”

Sam furrowed his brow. “And?”

Gabriel swallowed. “And I need that now.”

Sam lifted a hand. “Can I - ”

“No,” said Gabriel, “Please don’t touch me.”

Sam lowered his hand. “Look ... Gabe … there’s no forgetting. That isn’t what you need. And you can’t hold yourself to that standard, because you’re setting yourself up for failure if you decide that the only way to improve is to forget.”

“Yeah, well, no one’s trying to make a case for its likelihood. All I’m saying is that’s the only thing that could ever make a difference. You asked me to talk, we can talk - but if you can’t handle the truth then maybe find another conversation partner. However, if you think you can metabolize it, you want to know what I’ve learned since coming here?”

“What’s that?”

“You really want to know?”

“Yeah, Gabe. I really do.”

“Dandy.” Gabriel made sure to hold Sam’s gaze this time. “Here’s your appetizer: on my first night here, I learned that sleep doesn’t have anything to do with rest, and that the unconscious brain can hold about ten different storylines at one time. A little meatier: after that I learned just how committed a graceless body can be to purging itself of phantom danger even when there’s nothing left to throw up. By now - and here’s your entree - I’ve learned that getting out of Hell doesn’t mean I’m not still there. How was I to know I’d be scared of my own brother? Scared of Dean? How was I supposed to plan for that? And how was I supposed to anticipate just how much help I was going to need when I ought to be damn well capable of helping myself?” Gabriel turned away. “Hope you enjoyed. Don’t forget to leave a tip.”

“Gabriel …” This time, Sam simply took Gabriel by the shoulder.

Gabriel jolted away. “Stop it, I told you not to!”

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Sam softened his voice. “I really didn’t think. Listen, buddy, don’t be so hard on yourself about all this.”

Gabriel gave a cold smile. “Even when it’s happening all the time?”

“‘It?’ What’s happening all the time?”

“I see Asmodeus everywhere, Sam. Around every corner, behind me, next to me, in every one of you. Even you - sometimes. And I … that’s not all right, and I’m sorry.”

“You won’t get better by being sorry, Gabriel.”

“You worry about me holing myself up in here, away from the rest of you? You worry about not being able to monitor me all the time?”

“No. I get that there’s no reason to keep tabs on you twenty-four/seven. I worry because it’s nothing like you to pull yourself away from everyone around you and I feel like you might need … I don’t know. Something.”

“Yeah? And what do you think you’re gonna do when I finally agree to set the party ablaze with this killer personality Asmodeus cultivated for almost a millennium? You know, Sam, sometimes humans throw around this idea that it’s better to get it all out - to let yourself be messy, to break down freely. Because sure, all right: your kind aren’t built to house your pain in those bodies indefinitely. And then there’s me.” Gabriel laughed, harshly and quietly. “I can hold it. I can keep myself together. But, just like you, like any human being, I reach a tipping point. Fair enough; I can accept that. Except here’s one other fun tidbit I’ve learned: losing control doesn’t help. Sobbing myself into a coma never does a damn thing to make the pain anything but more real. Think twice about whether you’re prepared to see that for yourself, Sammy.”

There was a lengthy pause after he finished. Gabriel listened to the footsteps in the hall, the occasional click of a door, Dean shouting a question to Castiel.

When Sam didn’t speak, Gabriel kept on: “It’s easier, Sam. It’s just plain easier to hide. For me, and for you. For all of you. The truth is I’m - I mean - I’m scared out of my wits, and I don’t know how to change that.”

“That’s how you’re supposed to feel after somebody hurts you,” Sam replied before Gabriel could add I’m sorry. “And do you really think it’s easier to lock yourself up?”

“Why else would I be doing it? When have I ever done anything other than take the easy way out?”

“You don’t think maybe you’re making this harder for yourself on purpose?”

“I have no idea what I’m doing to myself!” Gabriel was beginning to feel sick. “I don’t know how much is me and how much is him.”

“You aren’t going to feel any better, any freer, if every time you feel like you’re back in Hell you reinforce it by holding yourself hostage. Gabriel - look - I won’t make you listen to me or talk to me, but I need you to know that I’m not as scared of seeing you in pain as you are. You don’t have to dedicate any amount of time to me or anybody else, but we’re here. I’m here. And I really don’t think you have anything to be ashamed of.”

Shut up, Gabriel wanted to say. I have everything to be ashamed of. But he couldn’t speak: his throat was locked tight, exactly the way he locked himself in the bedroom when he didn’t want the rest of them to see what was happening to him.

“You have the power to drown him out,” Sam continued. “He’s gone and you have the power to make sure he stays gone.”

Gabriel shook his head. He hadn’t had any kind of power for a long time now.

“And you’ve got more than that,” Sam reminded him. “You’ve got us. Me especially, if that’s all you want right now.”

“I don’t want anything,” Gabriel whispered.

If there could be no forgetting, he realized, then there had to be acceptance. Letting the others in - letting any of them, especially Sam, any nearer - would facilitate just the opposite by bringing the pain into the full sight of everyone, including Gabriel; allowing the others to see, to watch, would be to keep the pain alive.

Acceptance necessitated tolerance. Welcoming their gestures of goodwill not only showed intolerance for the memories that haunted him but signaled that he was prepared to fight what he knew would never, ever go away unless he could erase it from his mind completely.

He leaned forward, so that his forehead was close to his knees, and buried his fingers in his hair.

“Are you okay?” asked Sam.

“Yes.” But the truth was that Gabriel was struggling to breathe against the tightness in his throat. His headache had, within the last few minutes, grown exponentially stronger.

“Gabriel,” Sam murmured, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” His heartbeat increased as he struggled to draw breath. He knew that he was able to breathe, knew that this was simply an unwelcome byproduct of the battle, but he struggled nonetheless.

“Gabe, what’s the matter?” He felt Sam put a hand on his back, and this time Gabriel didn’t startle. “Can you sit up, maybe? Are you gonna be sick?”

He sounded worried. Gabriel wanted to tell him not to worry, that nothing was seriously wrong; that sometimes, this was what it looked like when he decided not to give in, not to let go.

It occurred to Gabriel then that Sam had seen him break down before, and perhaps there was little point in going to these lengths just to shield Sam from something he’d already witnessed.

Then he remembered that thinking in that direction - the direction of maybe just this once - would trick Gabriel into believing that it was all right to put himself on display, to showcase this obscenely vulnerable side of himself to anyone who might toy with it; or, worse, to someone like Sam, who would probably never do any such thing and allow Gabriel to take advantage of him.

Way to breathe, dumbass, Gabriel thought as he grew dizzy; and then he realized that somebody was calling his name and that he was on the floor with no recollection of having placed himself there.

He tried to piece together the last few seconds - moments? Minutes? - and found that he couldn’t. Then he realized what must have happened, but why was there another presence? Who was standing over him?

“No,” Gabriel groaned, and tried to sit up just as a pair of hands seized hold of him. “Don’t - ”

“It’s just me, Gabriel, just me.”

“Let go,” Gabriel ground out, and Sam did. Gabriel lay back down again.

“What the hell was that?” Sam demanded. “What happened? Gabriel, man - you wouldn’t wake up for about two minutes.”

“Oh.” Gabriel closed his eyes.

“No!” Sam commanded, and Gabriel’s eyes flew open. He stared up at the ceiling, not daring to move. Sometimes moving, trying to get away - that only made it worse.

“Just stay awake,” Sam said, softening his voice. “Just - I need to know you’re all right.”

Gabriel turned his head to get a better look at Sam, who was knelt on the floor beside him, pale and wide-eyed but apparently not as angry as Gabriel had believed.

“I was going to call someone else in,” Sam explained, “But I figured if you woke up and there was another person here you might get nervous.”

“Sometimes,” Gabriel slurred.

“What? Sometimes what?”

“Happens sometimes. Like oops.”

“Gabriel,” Sam said, “I need you to give me a single coherent sentence before I decide not to get help.”

“No. Not a big deal. I get a little upset. Tired. Whatever. And then this.”

“Do you know where you are? Who I am? What year it is?”

“Floor; Sam; post-moon landing, pre-teleportation.”

“How do you feel right now?”

“Floppy.”

“Why’d you pass out?”

“I don’t know.”

“Really?”

“I mean … it’s like when I get sick, sort of. Moderately less degrading.” Feeling a little more alert, Gabriel pushed himself upright. Sam looked tempted to assist, and Gabriel was grateful when he didn’t try.

“A stress response,” Sam said. “One you didn’t mention.”

“Never came up.”

“So right now, just now - you worked yourself up to the point that you couldn’t even stay conscious?”

“Good at it, aren’t I?” Gabriel leaned against the bedframe and pulled his knees to his chest. He couldn’t tell what Sam was feeling, but he sensed a certain level of frustration. Perhaps Gabriel was confusing desperation with anger; but whatever emotions were driving Sam’s reaction to this episode, there could be no mistaking what Gabriel himself was feeling. He told himself not to be afraid of Sam, and yet …

“I didn’t mean to,” he told Sam. “I really didn’t mean to. I didn’t - ”

“I know you didn’t mean to.” Sam sighed. “I’m not mad, all right? I’m sorry. I’m not. That was just really weird to watch. You went white and started falling off the bed. I grabbed you when half your body was already on the floor, so you didn’t hit your head or anything, but - ”

“Thank you, Prince Charming. My head already hurts like a bitch so I’m glad to be spared.”

“This happens a lot?”

Gabriel tethered his gaze to the floor. “No. It happens when I decide to fight.”

“Fight? Fight what?”

“My instincts. When I decide not to buy into what I said about letting yourself just lose control. There’s no reason to indulge in a breakdown if all it does is make me feel worse. Sometimes this is a … a, ah, side effect of that.”

“God, Gabriel. This is why you need to look for someone instead of running away from us.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah. Of course. What?”

Gabriel peered up at him. “Can you look me dead in the eyes and tell me that you know from firsthand experience that giving yourself space to parade your emotions around for others to witness and potentially ransack has proven a helpful strategy?”

Sam blinked. “I … no. I can’t.”

“Then what the hell are we doing?”

“I never had a chance to find out for myself.” Sam gave a rueful smile. “But I know what I needed.”

“You’re not - oh.” Gabriel looked away again. “I didn’t mean to be an ass.”

“None of this is about me. I’m more interested in making sure you don’t collapse again.”

“I won’t. That only happens when I’m grossly inconvenienced by my own coping mechanisms.”

“Can I help you up?” Sam offered his hands, apparently to hold onto Gabriel; but Gabriel, who didn’t take well to the notion of being touched like that when he was too weak to retaliate, grabbed Sam’s hands instead and let him pull him up that way.

“Wanna lie down?” Sam asked as Gabriel retook his seat on the bed.

“No. No sleeping. No nightmares. Not right now. I just - I can’t.”

“Not even if I stay here with you?”

“You busted in here to talk, didn’t you? Not to watch me while I sleep. Don’t be weird.”

The mattress creaked as Sam sat back down.

“Oh, and for what it’s worth” Gabriel added, “I appreciate your discretion. Thanks for not bringing anyone else in.”

Sam smiled. “I’m glad you’re not too banged up.”

“Well, I’m sorry. For being such a diva. ‘Look at this, Sam; watch me swoon.’ Have you ever seen such melodrama in your life?”

“It’s not melodrama. If you’re struggling that bad - if you’re sick and tired and passing out and crying - that means something’s wrong. It means you need help. What good is there in bullying yourself just for needing help?”

Gabriel surveyed him. Sam looked alert, concerned - perhaps even a little frightened. “Sam … you know the feeling of when someone wants to hurt you and you’d do anything to escape? And the panic is so strong you forget how to put up a rational fight, and all you can do is throw yourself around like a trapped insect? Being kidnapped, or tortured, or held in place - you know that violent, helpless, hysterical feeling?”

Sam looked vaguely nauseated. “Yeah.”

“That’s what I feel whenever I know help is nearby. And if I give in to that feeling, I’ll scream myself raw and it won’t do any good. Losing control doesn’t make things better. It hurts. It hurts me, because I can never get it all out; I’m never empty, Sam, and that feeling is never gone.” His voice trembled. “Frankly, everything made way more sense in Hell. It all added up to an even integer. I was afraid because I was locked in a cell at the mercy of a narcissistic screwball who’d been handed complete power over me. But now? Now I have no reason to feel trapped and alone.”

“And you need one,” Sam said, “So you give yourself one.”

“No! I mean - do I? See, what does that tell you? I’m nuts. I’ve gone off the freakin’ rails. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. All I know is I need help and I’m not going to be okay no matter how much I get. So what’s the point in wringing myself out for something that’s not even going to make a difference in the end?”

Fragments of memory crept forward: Gabriel, screaming and sobbing through the stitches across his mouth, while Asmodeus laughed above him.

“I can plead until time flips itself inside-out,” Gabriel told Sam, “And nothing - nothing - is going to make all that fighting worth it.”

“Not with Asmodeus.” Sam offered his hand. After a moment’s deliberation, Gabriel accepted it. “He liked to waste your time. Here, with us, you don’t have to beg for anything. Food, water, help. Whatever. You don’t have to tear yourself apart just to get what you need.”

“It doesn’t do anything,” Gabriel pleaded. “Letting go, losing control - it just makes things worse. It makes the pain stronger, Sam. I can try and try and it’s still caught inside of me and it won’t come out no matter how hard I pull at it.”

“When you’re by yourself, sure. It’s not a one-man job.”

“I should be stronger than this. Stronger than any of this. Stronger than him, stronger than my own mind, stronger than this feeling. Sam - I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be whatever it is he turned me into.”

Sam squeezed his hand. “He didn’t turn you into anything. You’re still Gabriel.”

“But that’s not … I don’t …” Gabriel didn’t know how to explain that “Gabriel,” whomever that might be, had always been diseased, and that Asmodeus had simply hurt what needed to be hurt.

“I’m confused,” said Gabriel. “I don’t understand what’s happening to me.”

“You’re trying to heal. I think sometimes that can be as rough as whatever it is you’re trying to heal from.”

“I’m tired. Tired and terrified and - and I hate what I am, and how I see everything now; I hate that I don’t know how to keep myself under control. I hate that I come in here to cry. I don’t know; I don’t understand. I’m not - I don’t - ” Gabriel used his free hand to cover his face. “Everything is wrong with me.”

“But in what universe are you not supposed to be scared and upset and confused after everything that happened to you?”

Gabriel shook his head. His voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “I don’t know.” He felt tears glide over his cheeks and kept his face hidden as best he could with the one hand.

“Well,” Sam said, “If anybody would know, don’t you think it’d be you?”

Gabriel didn’t reply.

“Look.” Sam’s voice was gentle. “I really think you should consider swallowing your pride once in a while and maybe pushing back against your own instincts. Don’t bury yourself in whatever it is Asmodeus put into your head.”

Gabriel gave a strangled laugh and slid his hand from his face, forgetting for a moment that Sam could see the tears. “Is that really what you think? That my instinct is to hide and not come running to you? Sam, the only instincts I ever have tell me to throw myself at your feet and grovel.”

“Grovel? For what?”

“For understanding. For affection. For touch. I don’t know; all I can tell you is I need something from you and I have to push myself in the opposite direction so that I don’t disgust you. And so that I don’t get cozy, because that could be taken from me so fast. The number of times he laughed at me, Sam, or kicked me in the face because I didn’t stop crying when he told me to …”

Sam looked repulsed. “Gabriel, I would never do that to you!”

“He used to say, ‘I wish you could get a glimpse of yourself; even you wouldn’t believe you were looking at an archangel. You know what you are, don’t you? You’re a roach with a busted leg and guts all over the floor. You’re lucky I don’t just squish the life out of you here and now.’”

“Yeah,” said Sam, “Okay. Stop. I don’t think that about you; none of us think that. Don’t trust anything he told you. The guy was a monster.”

“Well, so is this thing inside of me, Sam. This thing that tells me to go looking for help - this thing that makes me so afraid and panicked and desperate - it’s insatiable and trying to feed it just makes it hungrier.”

“With him it would have. Yes. Because you tried to get what you needed and he didn’t let you have anything. If you really wanna look at it like that, as something that needs to be fed - I mean, what are you supposed to think if it’s always been starved?”

Gabriel couldn’t think of a response.

“I’m tired,” he said at last. “I feel sick and exhausted. I’m not - ” He leaned against Sam, who released Gabriel’s hand to put an arm around him. “I just don’t feel well at all.” He turned to press his face into Sam’s shoulder.

“This has been a hard time,” Sam agreed. “I know that. Trust me, I know. And that isn’t your fault.”

“I should be - ”

“Who’s holding you to anything, huh? You’re not supposed to be any one way about this. Really.”

Gabriel almost asked, Then why isn’t it acceptable for me to lock myself away? Then he thought better of it, because Sam had been right: it wasn’t like Gabriel to make himself unknown. He had run away, certainly - but he had not remained in the shadows. Gabriel had never kept himself entirely hidden. Never.

He didn’t often think of who he had been before his imprisonment. For all he knew, that version of himself was the one Asmodeus hated most, the version that had deserved the most punishment.

But the thought that Gabriel might never get that part of himself back, the possibility that Asmodeus had forced him into wanting to stay hidden - somehow this notion flooded him with horrified grief that came on like a surge of nausea. He didn’t miss whatever it was he had been - at least, he didn’t think he missed it, although since he deliberately paid so little attention he couldn’t be sure - but the absence of something that had made him who he was suddenly felt unbearable.

The tears came silently, blurring his vision and stealing his voice. The knot in his throat stung like needles and tightened his chest, so that he had trouble breathing again.

I’ll never get that back, Gabriel thought. It belongs to Asmodeus now.

Sam pulled him in closer and Gabriel grabbed onto him, afraid that Sam would let go. He remembered moments like this with Asmodeus - clinging to him in exactly the same way. It was only when Sam muttered, “I know, I know it’s rough; I know,” did Gabriel realize that he could distinguish between the two experiences.

Gabriel heard himself make a horrible, choked groan into Sam’s shoulder. He gritted his teeth against the urge to scream - an urge that soon became too much and manifested not as a scream but as fractured moaning.

“I know,” Sam murmured again. “I know. But it’s gonna be all right. You’re doing just fine, I promise.”

Gabriel tried to speak, but the words slid into each other and ricocheted off of each breath so that nothing could be understood.

“What?” Sam asked.

“I - I can’t,” Gabriel sobbed. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Stop. I can’t stop. I’m trying. I’m sorry.”

“Nobody’s telling you you have to stop. Especially not me. Take whatever time you need.”

“I don’t know.” Gabriel shuddered in Sam’s grasp. “I can’t - can’t stop.”

“Then don’t. Nothing wrong with that.”

“No, I want - I need - I can’t stop; I need it to - ” He was gasping, choking. “Because it won’t do - won’t change anything, and I need it to stop.”

“Don’t think about that. Just relax. I’m here. You’re safe.” Sam paused, then added, “I didn’t mean to make you so upset. I just wanted to check on you because - ”

“Because you knew I was already upset.” Gabriel gave a shaky laugh. “Because you knew that I - that this was - ”

Somehow Gabriel couldn’t say it, but perhaps Sam understood: Gabriel had needed this, or something like this, to remind him that he was no longer in Hell. That there was no pain, no punishment, no derision. There was no clawing at the bars of a filthy cell and howling into a damp chamber full of bloodthirsty phantoms. Certainly, there was self-disgust; there was shame just as powerful as any he had felt with Asmodeus - but there was no fear.

Did that mean he truly would never be able to stop?

Gabriel pressed his face deeper into Sam’s shoulder.

Even if I can -

“All right there?” Sam asked.

- this will still happen again.

“I’m so sorry,” Gabriel whimpered.

“No.”

“I am. I really am.”

“What for?”

“For all the times you might have to see this.”

“Hey, no, come on.”

Gabriel didn’t ask whether Sam meant Come on, it’s not gonna happen again or Come on, of course you don’t have to be sorry. He was afraid of the answer.

“Think about it this way,” Sam said after a while. “If it were one of us - ”

“I know, Sam.” Gabriel closed his eyes. “But it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

There was a knock at the door. Gabriel wrenched himself away from Sam.

“No one else needs to see,” he explained.

“Okay.” Sam got to his feet. “Let me handle it, then.”

Whoever it was knocked a second time. “Gabriel?”

Dean.

Sam opened the door. “Can you give us a minute?”

“Nope. Because if he ain’t gonna take what’s left of the casserole then it belongs to me.”

Sam sighed. “Dean …”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules, Sammy. But I did make the casserole.”

“He hasn’t eaten; can’t you just - ”

“It’s perishable. It’s a delicate recipe. Gabe!”

“Don’t,” Sam said quickly. “He’s - let me ask him.”

“It’s fine,” Gabriel said. He tried to speak loudly enough for Dean to hear, but his voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat and repeated, “It’s fine, Dean. Take it. I don’t need your germs.”

He heard Dean shift - perhaps trying to step inside. “Sounding a little rough there, bud.”

“Dean,” said Sam, “Go away.”

A pause. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Sam told him. “Just …”

In the silence that followed, Gabriel had the sense that Dean was trying to read whatever signals Sam might be sending.

“You know what?” Dean said at last. “I’m suddenly in the mood for burgers. Gabe feels up to it, he can have the casserole. So I guess I’ll, uh … I’ll catch you two later.”

“Yeah.” Sam sounded relieved. “All right. Thanks.” He closed the door.

“Thanks yourself,” Gabriel said as Sam came to sit down again. “No need for him to see me like this. But hey, Sam - you know I’m not trying to monopolize your time, right? Because you have a lot of other jobs besides babysitting a whiny recluse.”

“Man, you have got to stop talking about yourself that way. Besides, I don’t have anything more important right now.”

“What about the case in Connecticut?”

“We don’t even know if we there is a case.”

“So go do a little digging, find what you can find; maybe it’ll help you decide what you’ve got on your hands here.”

“Really. There’s nowhere I need to be.”

“Sam, I’m gonna feel better if you move on from what just happened without any fanfare, all right? My energy is shot. I think it’d be good for me to take a hot second to breathe and you to get done whatever work might lower the odds of you getting yourself bloodied up in some elitist New England suburb.”

Sam looked both surprised and hesitant. “Do you wanna come with me?”

“No. Just give me a few minutes and then I’ll … if I need you, I’ll get you. How’s that sound?”

Cautiously, Sam stood up. “If that’s really what you think would be helpful.”

“Yeah. Go. And thank you.” Gabriel glanced away. “You had a point.”

“About what?”

“About - come on, don’t make me say it. You know what.”

Sam considered him. Then he nodded, and Gabriel hoped he remembered: It’s not a one-man job.

“I’ll be close by,” Sam told him. “And please - don’t try to pretend, okay?”

“Fine. But I’m good, Sam. For now, I’m good.”

Sam remained in place for a few more seconds, contemplating whether to heed Gabriel’s request. Then he smiled, tentatively, and moved toward the exit.

“But you can leave the door open,” Gabriel called, and Sam did.

Gabriel could hear Dean, Cas, and Jack somewhere in another room - although he couldn’t be sure which one. He slid off of the bed and moved toward the sound. They were in the kitchen.

The three of them, seated around the table with bottles of beer (When did those melonheads start giving Jack alcohol? Gabriel wondered), all fell silent when they saw him.

“Hey fellas,” said Gabriel. “Got room for one more?”

[percywinchester27]

About a boy (Part-14)

Word count: 3.8K

Warning: Feels, mentions of physical abuse, child-trafficking, kidnapping, child-violence, bullying and character death

Characters: Dean, Cas, Gabriel, Benny, Michael, Will, OCs and… Sam?

Summary: Dean Winchester has a secret. A secret that could really land him in trouble. He never expected to connect with anyone when he walked into the ‘Blue Stone Orphanage for Boys,’ but even then, the walls he has put up are slowly coming down. Now, a series of strange events are threatening to expose him. When everything starts falling apart around him, will he still be able to save the one person that matters the most?

A/N: We are almost to the end guys, hold on tight! :)

Much thanks to the awesome @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ and @deanssweetheart23​​​​​​​​​ for beta reading this story <3 You guys rock!

About a boy masterlist

Dean sat in the empty waiting room with his head against the wall. It had been the longest night of his life, and he had carried his little brother out of a burning house before on another night. So that was saying something. Bobby had disappeared in the early hours of the morning, mentioning something about getting Dean his stuff back from the Orphanage. He was still in the dirty, blood-crusted clothes from yesterday. In fact, he was so grimy that the hospital staff refused to let him anywhere near Will. He was reduced to waiting in the corner. 

Both Benny and Gabriel had returned back to the orphanage. All the kids were being transferred to some new temp facility in the city, and his friends would have to go with them. One night had brought them all so close that Dean was shocked to realise it was all over now. He would go back to his old life, and they would go back to theirs.

The look on his face must have been something, because Benny gave him an understanding smile and Gabriel a tired wink. In fact, as they left, Benny even put his arms around him. Dean was so surprised, he barely even returned the hug.

“Thanks,” Benny had whispered, before waving his hand and walking out of the waiting room with Gabe. 

Sitting by himself, Dean had wondered what the ‘thanks’ had been about. Benny had done as much as Dean when it came to the events of previous night. Without him, Dean would have probably died there along with the others. So maybe it wasn’t about that. Dean’s thoughts were muddled though. He was tired and numb from the cold, and Bobby wasn’t back with his clothes yet. Even sleep wouldn’t come to him.

“Can’t sleep, huh? Me neither.”

Cas was slowly walking towards him, his hand bent at the elbow and wrapped in a thick cast. 

“Cas!” Dean made to get up, but Cas gestured to stay put, and plopped down next to him.

“Turns out it was more than just the wrist,” Cas said. He was wearing a hospital gown. The sort that ties at the back and it looked funny on him. Any other time, Dean would have laughed at him.

“Are you okay?” 

Cas shrugged. “Dislocated shoulder, two concussions and yeah a broken wrist. If I forget who you are tomorrow, you’ll know why.”

“You’d be lucky if you did forget me. It would be like none of this ever happened.”

With his free arm, Cas smacked him on the shoulder. “Don’t you say that, Dean. Don’t you ever say that I’d want to forget you. This is all because of you!”

“Exactly my point!” Dean threw up his hands. “If it weren’t for me, Barry would be alive.” There; he had said it. “I failed him.”

“Are you even listening to yourself?” Cas asked angrily. “If it weren’t for you, not only Barry, but even Will would be dead.” he flinched at having said that out loud. “And countless others. Don’t you see, Dean? You put a stop to all of this!”

“I didn’t do anything special. You all were there, you all helped last night,” Dean finally burst. “I had been a self centered jackass for most of my time at the orphanage. All I cared for was about finding my brother. If I had started looking into this sooner, maybe we could have saved Barry.”

“Dean, don’t you see that this could have never been possible without you?” Cas sputtered, exasperated, “If it had been just me, Benny and Gabe, we could have never managed this. You brought something with you that this place had never known.”

Dean remembered Benny’s whispered thank you again. “What?” 

“Hope!” Cas exhaled. “You brought hope and life and adventure into our lives. Not only did you figure it was Michael, you actually brought the police down on the place. I overheard the nurses talking. They saved a few more kids from the holding cells, and uprooted a massive network of child trafficking.”

Dean gulped, trying to comprehend. His brain, however, was too tired to grasp the full picture.

“What about you, Cas?” Dean asked. “Where will you go?”

Cas shrugged and gave Dean an encouraging smile. “I’m just a few months short of 17. A year after that and I’ll be free. Out of the circuit for good.”

Dean wanted to complain again about how unfair it was that he got to go back to the comfort of his own bed while his friend had to deal with uncertainty.

“Don’t worry about me,” Cas reassured him. “We made the national news, apparently. They’ll have to take good care of us now. Besides, it's just one year anyway.”

“What about Michael and the others?”

A shadow fell over Cas’s face and Dean immediately regretted asking the question. 

“Michael’s already in custody. He’s not 18 yet, just a few months short, so they’re holding him at the juvie. About the others, everyone suspected is being questioned. We’ll know when they’ll know, I suppose.”

“I’m so sorry about this, Cas,” Dean said sincerely. “I know he was your family, and he did save your life tonight.”

Cas just shook his head. “I don’t know how to feel about any of this yet, with time maybe I’ll understand, but don’t feel sorry for me. Especially not you, because you taught me what family really means!”

“I did?”

“Yeah,” Cas said, his eyes fierce. “Look at all that you were doing to find your brother. Hell, look at what you did for Will. He’s alive because of you. That’s what family does. Good for each other.”

Cas had just called Will his family. But was he? The thought was like a stab in Dean’s chest.

“Maybe one day, years from now, we’ll be able to look back on today and make sense of things.”

“Maybe,” Dean agreed. Everything hurt right now. It hurt to think about Barry. A small selfish part within him was thankful that Will was safe. He was angry and sad and bone tired, but also relieved and in awe of the magnanimity of the situation. Had they really managed to take down the Stynes? Cas’s words hinted at a vague future where they weren’t kids in an orphanage anymore. But they were still friends. A future where they could laugh about the past, when Dean used to kick Cas’s bunk from underneath because he just wouldn’t stop moving. Or when they used to walk back from school together and take bets about what would be served for dinner. That future seemed far away. However, the quiet confidence in Cas’s voice made Dean look forward to it.

Dean leaned against his friend. And together they sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts as the sun steadily rose higher and higher.

***********************************

“Kid? Hey, kid?” 

Dean jerked awake to see a nurse standing over him looking annoyed.

Dean blinked up at him groggily. He had fallen asleep in one of those chairs after a shower and change of fresh clothes. He could see through the blinders that the sky outside was dark and the lights inside were extra bright. Had he slept here the whole day? That explained the stiff back and the horrible pain in his shoulders.

“Your name’s Dean?” The nurse asked.

“Yeah.”

“That kid in 205 is asking for you.”

Dean jumped out of the chair. “Will’s awake?”

The nurse gave him a look that seemed to question his mental ability. “Yeah. You’re going, right?”

“Yes, yes.”

Dean dashed across the waiting hall and into the room.

Will was sitting up right, looking small in the huge bed. His lashes were wet and a steady stream of tears were making their way down his cheeks. He saw Dean and broke down in huge sobs. Before Dean realised that he was doing it, he had his arms around Will. 

“D-Dean…”he sniffed. “Barry.”

“I’m sorry,” Dean said, running his palm up and down Will’s side. “I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry.” Sorry that I couldn’t save Barry. Sorry that you lost your best friend. Sorry that I can’t ease your pain. Sorry for everything.

Will held on, quietly crying into Dean’s shoulder, blubbering about how Barry was dead even before they had reached the barnhouse. Dean didn’t know how to feel about that. Those bastards had cut him open even then, knowing that he was dead, out of pure greed. But that also meant that he had passed away from the head trauma. There was nothing that they could have really done to save him.

He tried to console Will to the best of his abilities. “Think about when all this is over, you’ll be at a new school, and you’ll have a family. They’ll be here by the end of the week for you.”

Will’s fingers just clutched at his shirt. “I’m just glad you’re here right now, I didn’t know if you were going to be; but you are!”

“Of course I’m there!” Dean said. He silenced the small voice in the back of his head that seemed to ask, ‘for how long?’

It seemed to Dean that he held on to Will for a long time, till the wracks subsided into soft snores. He gently laid down Will’s head onto the pillow, then slowly backed out of the room. When he turned, he saw Bobby standing by the door, a peculiar look in his eyes.

“Got you dinner,” he said.

Once outside, Dean took the food from him gratefully. Now that he was paying attention to it, his stomach seemed shrunk because of hunger. Bobby had never been the sort to monitor Dean’s meals, or rush after him with cookies and milk in the morning. Food was just food. There was always some of it at the house. If Dean was hungry, he knew enough to look for it in the kitchen.

He pulled out the burger from the paper bag and dove into it. He hadn’t eaten a damn thing in over twenty four hours, unless the glucose that they put into him after the blood donation counted.

“How’re you doing, kid?” Bobby asked, eyes slightly narrowed.

Dean shrugged, trying to lick the remnants of the burger from his fingers. Good thing there was another one in the bag.

Bobby cleared his throat. “You know, Jody and I are really proud of you. We were worried out of our minds, but proud.”

Why did Bobby have to do that? He knew that both of them sucked at all this heart to heart stuff, and now Dean felt like something was stuck in his throat. But Bobby was clearly leading somewhere with this. So he waited.

Strangely, Bobby completely changed the track, “You’re really close to that kid in there, aren’t you?”

Dean wanted to roll his eyes. Sometimes Bobby really had a knack for stating the obvious. Dean had thrown a fit when Bobby had asked him to come back to the motel with him, absolutely refusing to leave. Even the police had to take his statement there.

“Yeah, we’re close,” Dean said, then realised that his knack was probably ‘understatements.’ The feeling of something being stuck in his throat wasn’t going away. And now the corners of his eyes were beginning to sting. 

“Bobby,” Dean said thickly. “I’ve never really asked for anything from you.”

Bobby grinned. “Yeah, you’ve been a good kid.”

Dean didn’t return the smile. He looked down at his feet, then said, “What I’m going to ask now is much, much bigger than what you signed up for when you took me in. It is impulsive and crazy on so many levels. And I know if I didn’t ask… didn’t beg, the ‘what if’ would kill me.”

He felt Bobby’s hand land on his shoulder, and Dean looked up into his blue eyes. “You know you only have to ask, son.”

**********************************

“Look, what I have for you!” Dean announced stepping into room no. 205. 

Will was sitting propped up against the bed, nibbling at a piece of apple, staring absently out of the window. He jerked upright at Dean’s voice, eyes expectant. One side of his mouth quirked up a little. 

It was a small thing, but this was the first time something even resembling a smile had crossed his face.

It had been three days now since Will had regained his consciousness. He had been fully made aware of everything that had happened. In return, Will had told the police his side of the story, and while doing so, he had steadfastly held on to Dean’s hand under the rug, like he was drawing his strength from it. That had only reinforced Dean’s resolve regarding what he was about to do… about to ask.

“Here,” he said, pulling out the packed bowl. “Chicken soup. You love that stuff, don’t you?”

They used to make a disgusting, watered down version of it at the Orphanage every once in a while. Will's mood was always exceptional on those days. He would whistle and smile more.

Dean could use that smile today.

Will’s eyes widened. “You remembered!” he said, staring at the steaming bowl with wide eyes.

Dean ruffled Will’s hair, then settled the bowl before him on the tiny  table. “Course I did.”

He watched as Will scarfed down the soup. The past days had been hard for him. The incision was deep, and though the doctor never actually cut the kidney out, there were complications that required complete bed rest. Will had suspected that something was wrong the moment Andy had dragged him out of the Orphanage. He had yelled and called out but there was no one to listen to him, help him. The image kept Dean awake at night… he had woken up in cold sweat imagining Will crying out for him.

At least, it was short lived. Andy had sedated him before they had reached the warehouse. Even the thought of Andy made Dean want to punch something. Jody told him that they were doing everything to indict him in as many cases as they could. He was spending the rest of his life in prison just like Stynes and everyone involved. Dean hoped it was in the worst prison in Texas.

“Dean?” 

He looked up to see Will staring at him with those big hazel eyes. 

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” It was quiet, heartfelt.

Dean shrugged. “It’s nothing. The diner is right around the corner.”

“Dean.” Will said again, with more gravity to his voice. “Thank you for saving my life. The doctor told me what you did. He said, if it hadn’t been for you, I’d have died thrice over.”

“He didn’t say that!” Dean gasped.

Will smirked, “No, he didn’t say that last part, but you get the gist.” Will wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Hey!” Dean said. “You weren’t going to die. I would have never let that happen. Besides, you aren’t getting rid of me that easily.”

“It’s just till the end of the week. You’ll get rid of me then,” Will muttered, looking at his lap. “The Kensingtons will be here by Sunday.”

“Will,” Dean said. His heart was pounding against his ribcage, or in his throat. He didn’t know which of the two it was. In fact, his whole body felt out of sync.

“Will,” he said again. “Do you… do you want to come live with me?”

Will visibly caught his breath. “What?”

“I-I know it won’t be anything like living with the Kesingtons in New York. The house in Sioux Falls is old and the floorboards creak like zombies are walking around at night, but the backyard is huge, and there’s so many cars there. I could teach you how to jack them. The summers are the worst, but when it rains, the mud smells so good...” Dean knew he was rambling, but now that he was talking, he just couldn’t stop.

“... The school is just your usual rundown place. It’s not anything special, like that Fancy school for gifted children in Manhattan, but it is much, much better than the last one. They have an advanced program there-”

“How?” Will cut him short. “How’s that possible?” 

“I’ve talked to Bobby. He is okay with adopting you, too. You’re almost twelve, so legally you can choose to terminate the Kensingtons adoption since it isn’t completely through yet. It’ll be tricky, but Jody said it was possible…”

Bobby had been weirdly okay with it. Dean had been sure that he’d have to argue with Bobby over this, but Bobby had listened to him and agreed without a condition. The only question he had asked: “What about Sam?”

Dean gulped. “What about him?”

“You know what I think about your hunt for Sam,” Bobby said. “And you’ve never listened to me. So are you going to stop looking for him now?”

“Yes,” Dean said slowly. “I am going to stop looking for him, but I’m not giving up on him. Now that all the files from the orphanage have been seized as evidence, the PD will look at them with a fresh set of eyes. And even if they don’t find Sam’s file, we can always file a fresh missing complaint or even ask them to reopen the old one. Maybe all the trails haven’t gone cold.”

He let out a deep breath. “You were right all along, Bobby. I was using Sam as an excuse, as a mirage, something to hold on to when things got rough. But in reality, he is just a kid I don’t know anything about. Everything that’s happened made me realise one thing. I was so hung up on Sam that I ignored everything else. Any of these kids could have been someone’s Sam. It doesn’t mean that they are less important. There’s just no one looking out for them.”

Bobby’s eyes crinkled at the edges and he unexpectedly smiled. “You grew up too soon, Dean. I was just worried that you were somehow replacing Sam with Will. That you were in denial and overcompensating. Because that wouldn’t have been fair to him. Now I know that’s clearly not the case.” Bobby cleared his throat, then said, “Does he know?”

Dean shook his head. “I had to know if you were up for it first. I know it’s a lot to ask…”

“Oh don’t go showing gratitude now, you idjit!” Bobby scoffed. “If you’re that grateful, pitch into the housework, and clean that damn room of yours. I ain’t shoving this poor kid in there with your clothes hanging off the rack.”

Dean was so relieved that his laugh came out as a gurgled cough.

“I don’t know if I’m being selfish here,” Dean admitted. “I mean he has a shot at a great life with those uber rich people from upstate NY. What if I’m ruining his life because I want him with me?”

“First of all,” Bobby said, “You’re not gonna be forcing him. It’s Will’s choice where he wants to go. Second of all, money can’t make someone’s life! It can bring him opportunities, but that’s about that. What he makes out of them is his own doing. He was doing plenty well at school even in that dastardly boy’s home. And lastly, you’ll love him enough to last him more than one lifetime. I don’t think the pretty rich folks can give him that. It’s all that he needs right now. Love and family.”

Dean nodded, glad that he had Bobby in his life.

“Don’t worry about it, Dean. He’ll be just fine. And if Sam shows up,” he said, that peculiar look back in his eyes. “We’ll have a place for him, too.”

Now, Will asked the same question. “What about your brother? What happens if you get Sam back?” His voice was quivering.

“Nothing happens,” Dean said, placing a hand over Will’s. “The police will keep looking for him, just like they’d keep looking for any other missing person, and I’ll stay with you.”

“I-I don’t understand.” Will had gone completely still. “You had been so obsessed with finding him all this time, and now suddenly you’re all okay? And what? You want Bobby to adopt me? I- I can’t fill in for your brother.”

Dean tightened his grip. “Don’t you see it, Will? You aren’t filling my expectations of Sam. In fact, if I actually ever find him, he’ll have a tough time living up to you. No kid can be as smart and kind as you are. I’m scared that I won’t even think of him as a brother the way I think of you!”

“Brother?” Will’s eyes that had gone round were starting to fill up now. 

Seriously, for an olympiad winning kid, Will could be really dense sometimes.

Dean lowered himself slightly so he was at Will’s level. “When I saw them put you on that gurney back at the warehouse and load you into that ambulance, I realised I would rather have you than an idea of Sam. You’ve been more of a brother to me than Sam ever has been. So, what do you say, bud?”

Will just stared mutely.

Dean stared back resolutely. “It’s not a huge house like the Kensingtons but Bobby and Jody are good people. They’ll look after you well and there’s always going to be me. I promise I’ll never let anything bad happen to you ever again. With the wedding in the fall, there’ll be even less room and you’ll probably have to share the bedroom with me-”

“Yes!” Will exhaled, like he had broken free of something invisible that was strangling him. “Yes, I want to come with you. God, yes.”

“Really?” Dean couldn’t believe his ears.

Will did not reassure him again. He dove right at Dean. “I can’t believe this is really happening,” he whispered. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Dean held on to Will, who was shivering in his arms. 

“Then that’s all I need to know,” Dean said. Maybe it was wrong to feel this way after everything they had been through, all that they had lost, but Dean felt complete. Whole. Like things were going to end well after all. He tried not to dream of all the little scenarios. How they could work on the cars together or play games on the crappy console he had stashed in his room. But try as he may, each scene just spread itself out in his mind. Will smiling, eating a proper breakfast on a proper dining table and aceing classes in school. Dean was already proud.

“Will,” he said, heart full of joy. “You’re stuck with me.”

*******************************

A/N 2: ONE more chapter to go! (Plus epilogue) What do you guys think is going to happen? I am excited!!!

Please do tell me what you thought of the chapter? I live for comments!

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[askthebunker]

The Beach Episode

“That’s just about everything,” Gabriel said, putting his hands on his hips as he looked out at the beach that had never been discovered by anyone before. He’d set up a few umbrellas as well as a picnic table with Sam earlier in the day and now they were just waiting on the others to arrive.

“It looks great, Gabe,” Sam smiled weakly before taking a deep breath, “I want everything to be perfect for Jack today, y’know?”

“No pressure, right?” Gabriel winked at him.

“You know what I mean,” Sam sighed, “It’s just...things have been weird, with everything happening. I want to make things up to Jack.”

“That’s not your job, Samoose,” Gabriel gave him a sympathetic smile, “You’re not the one who has the most making up to do.”

“He’s trying,” Sam explained, “That’s part of today, he’s going to try, he’s not going to drink, and he’s going to have a good time. We’re all going to have a good time.”

“Whatever you say,” Gabriel said, grabbing his hand and kissing it, “Let’s just...not get our hopes too high, okay? I know this is what you want, but all of us in one place…” he trailed off, “Hasn’t worked out the best in the past.”

“Never hurts to try,” Sam shrugged.

Gabriel just continued to smile sympathetically at him until the familiar sound of wings came through the air.

“Sam! Uncle Gabriel! Hello!” Jack said cheerfully.

When Sam looked up, Jack was standing with Michael, Adam, and Raphael, wearing a pair of plastic sunglasses that had neon green rims.

“We brought pie,” Raphael offered after a beat of silence, awkwardly holding out the circular pan, “Adam made it from items he grew in his garden. Why are you all so irritating? I like him just fine.”

Sam gave them a tight smile, taking the pan, “Thanks, guys,” he turned his attention to Jack, ignoring the comment, “How’s it going, Jack?”

“Good,” Jack grinned, “I am starting school this Fall, we all decided. I am very excited.”

“That’s...that’s great,” Sam smiled at him, “As long as everything goes according to plan…”

“Jack wants to go to school, so he’s going,” Adam said simply, “Regardless of what happens.”

Sam took a deep breath and gave him a tight smile, “Of course, whatever Jack wants.”

“Where are the others?” Adam changed the subject.

“You guys are the first ones here,” Sam shrugged, “Gabe and I came here to set up early since the place was essentially never discovered by humanity. We cleaned it up a bit.”

“Thanks for that,” Adam said simply, putting down the food as well as a bag, “Jack, make sure you put on sunscreen again soon, please.”

Jack nodded and sat down in the sand, grabbing Michael’s arm and pulling him down with him, “I’m going to teach Uncle Michael how to build a sandcastle.”

“Sounds great, bud,” Adam said simply, sitting down at the picnic table beside Raphael.

“Go talk to him,” Gabriel told Sam quietly, “Trust me, Raph isn’t much of a conversation starter, they’re just gonna sit there in silence.”

“There’s not much to talk about,” Sam swallowed.

“Never hurts to try,” Gabriel gave him a weak smirk, repeating his earlier words.

Sam just sighed again, smiling slightly at him before walking over.

Jack glanced up as Sam walked over to Adam and bumped Michael slightly.

Michael glanced up as well and cleared his throat, “Raphael, would you like to join us?”

The archangel squinted in confusion, “Why?”

“Because we need to spend time with Jack,” Michael said simply, “And I am asking you to.”

Raphael simply sighed and they walked over, sitting down in the sand and wrinkling their nose as they did, “I do not enjoy this,” they said immediately.

Sam sat down across from Adam, “Hey,” he said awkwardly, “How have...things been? We haven’t seen you since we came over to check out the house.”

“Fine,” Adam said, “I have a job at an antique shop in town. Jack wants to sell some of the stuff we grow in our garden, so Michael is helping him build a little stand.”

Sam nodded slowly, “Uh...so, there’s a thing going around...that you and Michael are expecting a kid?”

“Yes,” Adam deadpanned, “Is that going to be a problem?”

“What? No,” Sam said quickly, “I mean, we’d like to know if we’re gonna be uncles, y’know? We’re happy for you.”

“I’m sure you are,” Adam sighed, looking down at his phone and playing with it absentmindedly, despite there definitely not being any signal on the beach they were on.

“We’ll keep you and your kid safe from all of this,” Sam told him firmly.

“I don’t need you to,” Adam told him, “I genuinely don’t. I can take care of myself and even if I couldn’t, Michael is the first ever archangel. He’s powerful. I don’t need you to protect my child when we’re both very capable. I definitely don’t need Dean around my kid either.”

“Dean isn’t a bad guy, Adam,” Sam sighed, “We both made mistakes with Jack, we’re dealing with that and trying to make up for it.”

“You went along with it because he’s your big brother and he’s all you’ve ever known as a caretaker,” Adam snapped, “It’s definitely not healthy, but I understand you. Dean has treated Jack like shit since the beginning.”

“Don’t...do that. Don’t psychoanalyze us like you’re…” Sam trailed off, “Act human, dude. You’re not a robot.”

“I’m not though,” Adam sighed, “Sam...I spent over a thousand years with Michael and Lucifer. Things happen. I’m not human anymore. I don’t...one hundred percent know what I am, but it’s not human. I’m not saying I’m above you, I’m just saying...things get put into perspective when you have that long to think. The idea of petty drama and dealing with human bullshit is just nothing to me anymore.”

Sam watched him curiously, not sure what to say.

“I spent over a thousand years in Hell, Sam,” Adam sighed, “I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t bring myself to care about things that don’t matter to me anymore. Jack is my nephew, he was in a bad situation because of Dean, and now he’s not. Jack doesn’t have to forgive you guys, just like I don’t have to forgive any of you for letting me rot in Hell for all that time,” he stood up, “I came here today to spend time with my nephew, not debate my emotions with you.”

What emotions? Sam wanted to say, but stopped himself.

Dean probably wouldn’t have been so kind.

“I guess you were right though...we wanted to take Jack away from you, we just didn’t know it at the time,” Adam said simply before walking over and sitting down with the archangels and Jack in the sand.

“I’m guessing that didn’t go well?” Gabriel asked, walking over and sitting down beside him.

“Does it ever with him?” Sam mumbled.

“No, but if your boyfriend was an extreme optimist, would you tell him that?” Gabriel asked.

Before Sam could say anything else, the others appeared.

“This is awesome,” Charlie grinned, “We’re, like, the first people ever to be here, right?”

“That’s true,” Gabriel said, “Completely undiscovered by humanity; cool, right?”

“Definitely,” Kevin smiled.

“Sixty five percent of earth is still undiscovered by humanity, it’s not surprising,” Samandriel deadpanned.

Kevin just rolled his eyes, “C’mon, man, let’s get in the water.”

“Why?” Samandriel looked confused as he was drug over to the shoreline.

“Socially inept angels plus one beach day,” Dean walked over to Sam and Gabriel, “Entertaining, at least,” he said, looking confused when he saw the two archangels attempting to build a sandcastle with Jack and Adam’s help. He gestured to them, making Sam laugh.

“So,” Gabriel grinned as Benny, Balthazar, and Castiel all sat down with them, “Are we going to start a betting pool on how long it’ll take Heaven’s Most Adorable Angel and Heaven’s Most Adorable Prophet to get together?”

“Well, unless they’re like Charlie and refuse to make a move, probably soon- OW!” Dean groaned when Charlie threw a frisbee at the back of his head, “Hey!”

“Zip it,” Charlie told him immediately, “And come play frisbee with us.”

“I want to play!” Jack got up quickly.

Michael and Raphael sighed in relief, getting up from the sand almost in-sync and dusting themselves off, making Adam laugh.

Dean hesitated when Jack ran over and Sam shoved him lightly.

“Go,” the younger Winchester mumbled, giving him a look.

Dean sighed and grabbed the frisbee from where it landed beside him, rubbing the back of his head, “Nice aim,” he said, going to throw it back just as hard, but Charlie caught it with a smirk.

“Nice try,” Charlie said, tossing the frisbee gently to Jack, who fumbled to catch it.

…

“I don’t see the point,” Samandriel mumbled, “I thought we were busy fighting Father.”

“We are,” Kevin explained, “But...it’s important for us to relax too, especially Jack, he’s just a kid.”

Samandriel nodded slowly, looking down at his vessel’s feet in the water, tilting his head, “I find this very enjoyable, I’m surprised.”

“Yeah, free will does that to you,” Kevin laughed, reaching down and picking up a seashell, “Here...a souvenir for your first beach day.”

Samandriel took the shell, looking down at it in the palm of his hand, a small smile on his face.

…

“Yeah, I give it a week,” Gabriel smirked, looking over at Kevin and Samandriel, “Charlie, you need to catch up- OW!” he groaned when she threw the frisbee again.

“That didn’t even hurt you, don’t be a baby,” Balthazar snorted as Gabriel threw the frisbee back to the group.

“So,” Gabriel said, looking at Cas and Balthazar, “How’s it going with you two lovebirds?”

Cas glared at him, “I have explained this many times, we are not romantically involved. Platonic love is extremely valid.”

“You’ve been hanging around Adam too much,” Gabriel rolled his eyes.

Cas narrowed his eyes at him.

“Dude, you need to put on sunscreen,” Sam called to Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes, “I’ll be fine.”

Sam scoffed, “Whatever, your funeral, man.”

…

“Would you like to go for a walk?” Jack asked Dean once he tossed the frisbee to Dorothy.

Dean stared at him, “You sure that’s a good idea, kid?”

“I don’t need permission to go for a walk with a member of my family,” Jack said bluntly, “Or anything for that matter. I just need to let them know that we’re going, if you want to go.”

Dean nodded slowly, not sure what to say.

Jack walked over to where Adam and Michael were with Raphael and talked to them briefly. He turned back around and quickly walked over to Dean, “C’mon, I want to explore this place.”

Dean followed him, shock written all over his face.

“This is very cool,” Jack said casually as they walked through the woods, “I wonder if we’ll find a snake…” he trailed off, leaning down to grab some of the flowers. 

Dean sighed, “Jack,” he cleared his throat, “Hey, buddy, we gotta talk eventually.”

“I am aware,” Jack sighed, standing back up and messing with the flowers he’d picked absentmindedly, refusing to make eye contact with him.

“There isn’t...a single excuse good enough for how I treated you,” Dean told him, “It was bad and it was wrong...no kid should be treated like that, ever, no matter what’s happened.”

“No matter what I’ve done?” Jack whispered, still looking down at the flowers.

“No matter what,” Dean shook his head, “I’m sorry I blamed you for stuff you couldn’t have controlled or the mistakes you made. I want to make it up to you...whatever way you’re okay with. We’re family, you’re a Winchester, and I’m sorry I didn’t treat you that way.”

Jack finally looked up at him and smiled weakly, “Thank you, Dean,” he told him, “I am happy living where I am, but...I miss you all very much, despite everything. I want us to be a family again.”

“I want that too,” Dean said before pulling him into a tight hug.

Jack hugged him back just as tight.

…

Samandriel came over to the table and sat down across from Castiel, surprising most of the people sitting there.

“Uh, Alfie, hey-” Sam started.

“I do not blame you for what happened to me,” Samandriel said firmly, “I think that most of the people here understand what it’s like to be under Heaven’s control. I would like you to please stop ignoring me now because I always wanted to get to know you and you acting like I do not exist out of guilt is very annoying.”

Silence.

Balthazar laughed in shock, “Well, free will certainly agrees with someone.”

“I...am sorry,” Cas cleared his throat, “You’re right. It was wrong of me to ignore you.”

Samandriel smiled, “Okay, thank you. I forgive you. Now, Kevin gave me this seashell and is very nice to me, it makes me feel odd. What does that mean?”

Balthazar burst out laughing.

…

Adam had his head ducked down, talking to Michael away from the rest of the group when Dean and Jack came back.

“You two are having a kid?” Dean asked bluntly as they walked over.

“Yes,” Adam crossed his arms then wrinkled his nose, “Your skin is red, you’re going to get a sunburn, just listen to Sam and put the sunscreen on.”

“You didn’t think to tell us?” Dean asked, ignoring the other comment, “We’re going to be uncles, it’s something to celebrate.”

“No,” Adam deadpanned, “It’s none of your business. What isn’t processing here?”

“We’re a family,” Jack spoke up, “I understand that you do not like Dean, but he is my family. I wanted to share my joy about having a new family member soon, so I told him.”

Adam took a deep breath and smiled at Jack, “You’re right, Jack...I’m sorry for snapping. Yes, Dean, we’re having a child.”

“Think this is a good time for that?” Dean asked.

“I doubt it’ll ever be the perfect time,” Adam said, taking Michael’s hand, “But it’s what we’re doing. Either support it or don’t, I don’t really care.”

Dean cleared his throat and nodded stiffly, “Of course we’ll support it...kid’s gotta know their uncles, right?”

“Not really,” Michael mumbled.

“Well,” Gabriel said, throwing his arms around Michael and Adam’s shoulders and squeezing between them, “Personally, I’m happy the little nephilim is out of the bag, now we can get down to the serious celebrating!” 

“Can he even drink while he’s carrying?” Dean smirked.

Adam rolled his eyes, “Neither of us are carrying, asshole.”

…

“That was such a good idea,” Dorothy commented as they put stuff away in the storage room, “I haven’t felt this relaxed since we got back here,” she laughed weakly.

“Yeah, that tends to happen around Sam and Dean,” Charlie explained, “Trust me, I love them, they’re basically my family...but their lives are exhausting.”

“What are your plans for after this?” Dorothy asked suddenly.

Charlie looked at her and raised an eyebrow, “After?”

“I mean...after the whole...defeating God thing, y’know?” Dorothy asked.

“Oh,” Charlie sighed, “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought that far ahead, we’ve been so busy. I guess I might go back to hunting? I was pretty good at that.”

“I can’t think of anything I want to do,” Dorothy mumbled, “I’ve been so focused on Oz the last few years, it’s been so busy. Now it’s basically self-sufficient and I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with myself,” she admitted, “This isn’t my world, it hasn’t been for a really long time.”

Charlie put a hand on her arm, “Hey, you always have us. We’re always going to be here.”

Dorothy smiled weakly, “I appreciate that...having you...I mean...all of you,” she sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

Charlie smiled at her for a moment.

Dorothy rolled her eyes, “Okay, this is getting exhausting,” she said before leaning down and kissing her.

…

“Jack seemed like he’s doing good,” Dean said awkwardly as they sat in the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Cas sighed, his voice small and quiet, “He does. He deserves to have that kind of life, where he’s happy,” he swallowed, “Even if it isn’t with us.”

Dean sighed, “He’ll be back one day...said he wants us all to be a family again.”

“The house is a better place for him to live a life, not the bunker,” Cas cleared his throat, “And no, Dean, that’s not me taking Adam’s side, it’s me taking Jack’s.”

Dean scrubbed his face with his hands, “I wasn’t going to say that. I’m trying here, okay?”

“I know,” Cas nodded, looking down at his hands.

“Cas…” Dean trailed off.

“I am not with Balthazar,” Cas said quietly, “That is in the past. I love him, I always will, but it is a platonic love now.”

“Why are you telling me that?” Dean asked.

“I just...wanted you to know,” Cas told him, “Because everyone is thinking about their future, about what they want after all of this is over,” he stood up, “I am going to go make sure Jack made it home okay,” he said before disappearing right in front of Dean’s eyes.

Dean stared at the spot he’d disappeared from and sighed, “What the hell?” 

[asgardianvamp21]

Stripped Part 2

Warnings: slow burn, want a part 3?

   You woke up warm and with an arm wrapped around you. The whole night came back to you. Holy shit! You slept with Dean! you thought. You were so lost in thought you didn’t feel Dean stir. 

“Hi,” Dean mumbled. You quickly turn so you are facing each other while holding the blanket to your naked chest. “Hi,” you reply while staring into his eyes. He bites his lip as his eyes move down to your lips. 

“I am so dead,” he whispers more to himself than to you. You begin to slowly get up and ask, “Want to have breakfast?” You hope your voice doesn’t give away how giddy you are after last night. You feel hope building in your chest that he says yes.

“I, uh should get going. I have to work today and the bachelor party is tonight so I have a lot to do,” Dean says while slowly getting out of your bed and grabbing his boxers. You make sure your face doesn’t show your disappointment. “Oh yea, um, have fun,” you get out while trying to cover yourself even more. Once he is dressed he goes to leave the room and stops for a moment and turns toward you. “Hey Y/n?” He asks. 

“Yea?”

He looks at his hands and then the wall behind you before saying, “You mind if we just forget this and not tell anyone?” Even though you are shocked a little by his request you manage a yes before he nods and leaves. You suddenly feel disgusted with yourself. You run to your bathroom and get in the shower. The more you think about last night, the more you realize that you were just another one of Dean’s conquests. Once you are showered and dressed you decide to not let what happened bug you. You have to see your brothers today anyway and if they caught on that you were upset the day would get worse than it already is.

  Once you get to Cas’s apartment you slap a fake smile on your face and grab the beer Gabe asked you to buy and go up. Even though you were part of the bride’s wedding party the boys decided they wanted you at the bachelor party too. After the incident you were all much closer. You walked into Cas’s apartment and were immediately pulled into a hug by your oldest brother Michael. 

“Hey Mikey!” He pulls back and smiles at you while grabbing the beer out of your hands. “Hey Y/n, thanks for picking this up for everyone.” You pat him on the shoulder as you walk into Cas’s living room hearing Gabe and Nick fight over what you were all doing tonight. You walk over and plop down in between them on the couch. They both smile and try to pull you into the fight.   

“Come on Y/n/n, wouldn’t you rather go to a strip club?” Gabe asked.

“You do remember Y/n is in fact a girl,” Michael asks while walking back into the room. Gabe shrugs and turns back to you “So girls still like that too sometimes”. You rolled your eyes and told them, “Do what Cas wants Gabe and Nick.” They both pout that you didn’t choose their sides while Michael chuckles to himself. Cas walks out from his bedroom on the phone. As soon as he hangs up the phone he turns toward you.

“Are you feeling okay?” You nod your head yes and give him a smile. The rest of your brothers look confused, but don’t ask.

“So what are we doing tonight Cassy?” You ask. He walks over and sits next to Michael. “Well Dean thinks we should go to bars and strip clubs tonight.” Gabe gives a yell of victory and grins. “Man, I like him a bit better,” Gabe says with a victorious smile. You rolled your eyes and tried not to think about Dean, but of course just to screw you over the door opens and Dean walks into Cas’s apartment. “Hey Cas so I thou-,” he stops mid sentence at seeing you there. “I uh, thought we would go to a bar or two first,” he finishes before clearing his throat and not looking at you. Cas nods and says, “Good thing you were off today and we can hang out before we get smashed.” As soon as the words leave his lips your body tenses and your eyes betray you and look at Dean. He shuts his eyes and releases a breath, but still doesn’t look at you. You ignore the pain in your chest and make yourself relax. “I think that is the best idea,” you say looking at Cas. You all wait for Balthazar, Sam, and Gadreel before leaving to the bar. 

 Once at the first bar everyone splits up. Your brothers go to play pool while the rest decide to get the drinks. You go and sit at the bar. After a drink or two Dean comes and sits beside you.

“What do you want?” You ask before downing a shot. “Y/n we need to talk about last night.” You let out a dry chuckle and turn towards him. 

“No we don't, nothing happened remember?” You say with as much anger in your voice as you can. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can Michael walks over.

“We are ready to go. You good?” He asks while eyeing Dean warily. You nod and stand following him and the boys out the door.

 Once you are all at the strip club Gabe grabs Cas and takes him toward the center stage. You laugh at the look Cas and Nick give you. You go to walk by your brothers knowing if you aren’t there they will not be happy, especially with how many drunk guys are here. You start walking over only for Dean to drag you to a hallway close by. 

“What do you want?” You ask with a bite. He holds his hands up in surrender and says, “I just want to talk. Y/n I didn’t mean it that way this morning, but I freaked okay. I slept with my best friend’s little sister-,” You cut him off, “Why is that such a bad thing? it’s not like we are teenagers!” Dean opens his mouth to reply, but before he can your cousin Gadreel walks out of the bathroom and sees the both of you.

“Everything okay?” He asks with suspicion. You give a fake smile and nod. “We were talking about getting Cas a private dance.” Gadreel nods, but still raises an eyebrow at Dean who is still looking over at you. You turn and walk away with Gadreel. After a minute Dean joins the group again, but looks at you. 

Once everyone is heading back home to most likely pass out. You sigh and try to get Cas and Gabe into Cas’s car. Why do I have to be the one to take these idiots home? Gabe continues to babble in your ear about his ex Kali and Cas continues to sing a song about Meg. Gabe stumbles almost knocking you all down before a set of hands reaches out and catches him. Looking up to say thanks the words die on your lips as you see Dean looking at you.

“You alright?” He asks while Gabe leans on him now telling Dean about how pretty kali is and all that. You give a short nod and continue trying to get Cas to the car with Dean right behind you and helps you push the boys in the car. “I will follow you back”. You sigh and nod before getting in knowing you won’t win any argument about it. 

After getting the guys into their rooms and locking up you turn to Dean who waits in the hall. “You didn’t have to stay, but thanks for helping me get them home.” Dean rubs the back of his neck and replies, “Well he is my best friend so I gotta keep an eye on him.” Right. Cas is his best friend and you are just his best friend’s little sister. You can’t help but clench your jaw before turning and stalking away with Dean hot on your heels and yelling for you to stop. 

“What Dean?” He stops and continues to open and close his mouth before saying “that’s not what I meant Y/n”

“Well what did you mean? Don’t worry Dean you don't need to smooth things over here; I get it. It was a one night stand and it won’t happen again and I-”

“Dammit Y/n! Will you stop talking for one minute! You are not just a one night stand but I can’t be with you. You are Cas’s sister. I can’t do that to him...or you.” You step closer, “what do you mean or me?” He rubs his hand down his face with a defeated sigh. 

“Look I’m nothing great ok. I run a mechanic shop by day and strip at night, I drink a lot and love fast food. I snore and don’t get tons of sleep and my family is a nightmare. I am not like those other guys you’ve dated.” You look at him in shock before letting out a pained laugh “You’re right you aren’t like the guys I’ve dated you are better than them. As for the family thing, join the club. I don’t care about that shit Dean. I just care about..” You stop looking down and your heart stops as Dean reaches lifting your head up to him. “You care about what?” You both move closer and when your lips are touching you whisper “you” and Dean slams his lips down on yours and pulls you closer.

[scrollingkingfisher]

Without You I’m Just Cold

This is my secret santa, so very merry Christmas to @nathyfaith!! 

Rating: T   

Words: 2939

AO3                                                                                           

..........................................................

The first time Gabriel came into Sam’s room, Sam nearly shot him.

It had been nearly six months since they’d returned from the apocalypse world. Nearly six months since Sam had pushed Gabriel aside and killed his brothers for him, since the bunker had filled with alternate-universe hunters and one depowered archangel, since relative peace had been restored. The only things they’d had to deal with since thanksgiving had been a small pack of rogue werewolves and a run-of-the-mill haunting. 

But a lifetime of hunting had left Sam’s nerves frayed to the quick. So when his ears detected the minute creak of his door opening, the padding of footsteps, the strange pressure of another person’s stare, Sam was pointing his gun before he was fully awake. His finger twitched on the trigger as the light flicked on. Gabriel was standing next to his bed, hands raised in surrender, eyes fixed on the barrel.

Sam huffed, lowering the barrel. “Gabriel? What the hell, man?” He whispered loudly.

“Hey there, Sam. Are you pleased to see me or is that a pistol in your pj’s?”

Sam loosened his grip on the gun, rubbing at his eyes. Fuck’s sake. “Could you not have picked a better time to come annoy me? I know angels don’t need to sleep but...” 

He looked up and trailed off, getting his first proper look at Gabriel. He was looking distinctly… worn. More threadbare than Sam had ever seen him. Even when he’d come back from Asmodeus, Sam could have sworn that the bags under his eyes hadn’t been quite that deep. His skin was pale. 

Sam had known that Gabriel had used nearly all his grace to fend off Michael and close the rift behind them, but Gabriel had waved him off when he’d asked if he was okay, deflecting with a witty quote, and Sam hadn’t had the energy at the time to grill him further. Come to think of it, they hadn’t been seeing much improvement. But Sam had never actually asked what was going on with him these days. Now, looking at the way Gabriel was visibly sagging where he stood, he regretted that.

Gabriel’s eyes darted to his, then away again. The thin veneer of joviality slipped. “Just thought, maybe… Doesn’t matter. Sorry. I’ll let you get back to sleep.” 

He turned to go.

“Wait.” 

Gabriel stopped, one hand on the door. Sam sighed, setting his gun down on the table. “Was it a nightmare?”

Gabriel’s shoulders visibly tensed, and to Sam, that was answer enough. 

“No,” he lied tersely, “I’m cold.” 

And oh, Sam knew that look- the edgy glancing down, the slight tremor in his hand. The way his eyes kept darting to the corners of the room like he was expecting his nightmares to bleed out of the darkness. He’d been like that, after the cage. When they’d still been sleeping in motels. He’d crept out of his bed in the night, cold and shivering, and slipped in with Dean like he was a little kid again. And Dean had grumbled, but he’d always let him in, shared his warmth.

Gabriel had nobody. And he’d woken up from his own personal hell, terrified and alone and unable to sleep in case he was there waiting for him. And he’d come to the only person who knew what if felt like to go through even a fraction of what he’d been through, desperate for any sort of comfort even if he thought he’d be turned away.

He was still hesitating there, so close to bolting out of the door. For a second, Sam looked at him and felt a terrible pity. 

But Gabriel would hate that. Nobody wanted to be pitied.

Sam flicked back the edge of the blanket. “Okay, get in.”

Gabriel visibly perked up. He whipped around, hiding the tiny hope in his eyes behind the usual smirking confidence. “Oooh, Mister Winchester! Didn’t you know you’re supposed to buy a girl dinner first?”

Sam ignored him. There would be no asking him about what he’d dreamed. Not tonight. “You’d better not steal the covers,” he threatened.

Gabriel slipped in beside him, the two of them lying back to back. Sam winced as cold toes pressed against his shins. Okay, so maybe Gabriel hadn’t been entirely lying about the cold thing. 

He closed his eyes, and faster than he usually did, he was drifting into sleep.

...

In the morning, Sam woke to the edges of the covers flipped back, and a cold empty spot next to him.

They didn’t talk about it. 

.o0o.

The next time was the day that Dean decided that they were celebrating Christmas this year.

They had started decorating in the haphazard, disorganised way that people who have never stayed in one place for long enough to accumulate the intricate family rituals would. Sam hadn’t been convinced. But Dean had been determined to make an event of it. 

“Think about it Sammy, it’s the first Christmas since you were four that our lives haven’t been a crapshoot. It’s not perfect, but we’re here, right? Me, and you, and Cas. Charlie, Mom and Jack will be back by then. Hell, even Gabe’s here. Nothing world-ending’s happening. We need to take advantage! Plus,” he looked at the hunters loitering around the library table and lowered his voice, “I think we could all do with a bit of holiday spirit. It’s been a hell of a year.”

So they’d cut down a small fir tree in the woods, and Dean had gone out into town, and come back with a victorious smirk and a hodgepodge of christmas ornaments from Goodwill. They were all awful, obviously, but that wasn’t what mattered, Sam, it’s the principle of the thing! 

Cas had even contributed by making a string of paper chains, his brow furrowed as he sat at the library table and glued each ring closed with a level of concentration that suggested he was casting some reality-altering spell rather than making Christmas decorations. He didn’t seem to notice as Dean slipped a headband with a bouncy star attached to it behind his ears. 

Gabriel wandered in as Sam was starting to feel particularly put-upon, reindeer horns perched on his head, tinsel draped over his arms as Dean searched for the next ridiculously tacky item from the box.

“Hey Gabe.”

“Sam! What’s Deano up to? I thought covering the bunker in glitter was meant to be my job.”

“Aha!” Dean straightened up, the pompom on his elf-shaped hat flopping comically as he brandished a large angel-shaped tree topper. “Perfect! Get it Sam? We’ve got fake angels and real angels! At least this isn’t gonna try and smite us!” Sam rolled his eyes. Out of the corner of his vision he saw Gabriel shift uncomfortably. Dean turned to Castiel, holding out the doll for a better reaction. “What do you reckon, Cas?” “That decoration is a deeply inaccurate stereotype,” Cas commented without even looking up from gluing his fingers together. “Those wings would never support interdimensional flight.”

“Spoilsport. Hey Sam! Stick that up there, would you? It’s about your height. Or, wait,” Dean’s eyes lit up with humour, a teasing smile spreading across his face. “How about you, Gabe, this is your time of year-”

But Gabriel was gone. Sam turned just in time to see his heels vanish down the corridor towards the bedrooms.

Dean’s hand dropped to his side. Sam could have sworn he saw the tip of his hat droop. “What’s up with him?”

Cas’ eyes were fixed on the door. “He’s not what he once was.”

Dean scratched his chin where stubble was beginning to grow. “Yeah, but he’s getting better right? His grace’ll recover.” Castiel’s face scrunched into a grimace. Sam felt his heart sink.

“He’s… he’s not getting it back, is he?” He said quietly. “Possibly not,” Cas said quietly. “The longer it goes on, the less likely it is that it will start regenerating.”

Ah. 

Eventually they went back to decoration, but even Dean was more subdued now. Neither of them had really considered that Gabriel’s grace might be gone for good.

Sam fully expected not to see Gabriel until the next day. Often, when he got into one of his quiet moods, they might not see him for days, or only his heels as he nipped to the kitchen to search for food at odd hours of the night. But when Sam stumbled to his room, rubbing glitter off his face and his stomach warm with Dean’s special brand of eggnog, there was a figure perched on the end of his bed.

“Gabriel?”

Gabriel crossed his arms. “Don’t look at me like that, Sam. Your room is the only warm one in this whole damn place. Dean can stuff his why-is-the-heating-on schtick, I can’t stay in that icebox you call my room another night.” 

His tone was joking, but there was something tense as a bowstring underneath it. Something unsure. Clearly he didn’t want to be alone. Sam shrugged and went to rummage for a shirt to sleep in, hoping that being casual might alleviate the stress before Gabriel snapped himself in half with it. “Well you can stay with me tonight, it’s not an issue.”

“Why did you two have to set up shop in a concrete bunker?” Gabriel groused to fill the air as Sam got changed. “The whole damn place is a heat sink. My feet are cold as soon as they touch the floor in the morning.”

Sam hummed, still not commenting on the elephant in the room. He flicked off the main light, leaving only the dim illumination of the numbers of his alarm clock, glaring orange in the darkness. “We’ll have to get you a rug or something. Don’t want you losing toes just because we have concrete floors.”

Gabriel grunted in agreement, shifting a little closer. Sam lay still and closed his eyes. He could feel the tension in Gabriel’s body beside him. Like he was being pulled in two directions, hung drawn and quartered by his own indecision. The silence stretched. Despite the sensation of Gabriel’s attention fixed on him form just a few inches away, Sam started to dose. 

“Hey. Thank you.” Sam startled a little. He hadn’t expected Gabriel to say anything at all, let alone something that sounded so serious and sincere. He opened his eyes again, blinking up at the ceiling in the darkness. “No… No problem.” 

“It’s not… I’m not used to it. Having people there.” Gabriel said quietly. He didn’t elaborate, but he didn’t need to. Sam could read between the lines. Gabriel wasn’t used to having anyone there at all who cared about him. His brothers had tried to kill him, been sold into slavery by someone who thought he was his friend. Honestly it was a miracle he was here now. 

“You know it doesn’t matter, right?” Sam whispered into the dark. “If you never get it back. You’ll always have a home here.”

Gabriel didn’t respond other than going stiff, but Sam hadn’t expected him too. Under the blanket, he let his hand find Gabriel’s, winding their fingers together in a gesture of unspoken solidarity. Gabriel startled as their fingers touched, but after a moment, he gave a hesitant squeeze, body relaxing a little. Sam hesitated for a moment, considering, then scooched over a few inches, until they were pressed together, just their sleep shirts between them. He could feel Gabriel’s toes freezing against his calf. 

He felt a slow exhalation against his collar, but Gabriel didn’t move away. Sam closed his eyes, hiding a smile in the dark.

...

When he woke the next morning, Gabriel was gone again. But the depression in the mattress was still warm, and there was still a phantom sensation of fingers, holding tight to his. 

.o0o.

The third time, Sam went to him. 

Of course there had to be a call-out to a case on Christmas Eve. It was inevitable. It was even more inevitable that it would be a tentacle monster, and that it would be drowning people in a frozen lake.

“You know, when I said I wanted a white Christmas, this isn’t what I imagined,” Dean grumbled. Even if Sam had wanted to respond, he wasn’t sure he could without his chattering teeth biting off his tongue. He shivered again under his mound of blankets. 

As soon as they crunched their way to a stop Dean bundled him out of the impala and towards the warmth of the open door of the bunker. Sure enough, snow was falling in thick flakes around them, blanketing the ground as they carefully made their way inside.

Gabriel glanced up from where he was painstakingly carving a dick into the library table, then frowned.

“What the hell happened?” Dean waved him off where he was halfway to standing, ushering Sam shakily down the stairs. 

“Don’t worry, nothing serious. He’s just cold is all. Monster was a little more handsy than we’d thought.” Gabriel’s worried eyes didn’t leave Sam all the way into the corridor. Dean guided him to the bathroom and shoved him in with a reassuring hand to the middle of his back.

“Go on, take a hot shower. I’ll get dinner going, God knows the rest of the hunters can’t cook and I don’t trust mom with more than heating up soup after the last time she tried to bake.”

Sam stayed in the shower for almost an hour, but as soon as the water shut off, he was shivering again. Cold. He cursed under his breath as he wrapped himself in the largest towel he could find and shuffled towards his bedroom. Sometimes this happened- he would be chilled to his core, and no number of drinks or hot water bottles could warm him up. As though his soul had been reminded of the chill of Lucifer’s touch, and couldn’t forget it again.

He rummaged until he found the thickest shirt he had, and then a sweater, sliding it over his head with shaking fingers. He could just get into bed, shiver to himself for hours until he fell asleep.

Or…

Could he? Would Gabriel mind? Another tremor set his teeth chattering again, and that made his decision for him. Before he could doubt himself, Sam pulled his door open and marched himself down the corridor, pausing outside Gabriel’s room. 

“Come on in!”

Slowly, Sam pushed open the door. He hadn’t been in here since Gabriel had claimed it. It was slightly cluttered, pictures on the walls, knick-knacks on every surface. The room was dimly lit by the buttery light of a lamp, enough illumination for Gabriel to read his book where he was curled up on top of the covers. The thick rug on the floor gave the place a homely look. 

As he came in, Gabriel put his book down and quickly slipped off his reading glasses (he needed glasses? Sam hadn’t noticed), beckoning him in and pulling the covers off the bed so Sam could get under them.

“Dad above, Sam, get in before you freeze solid. I can see you shivering from here. You’re making me feel cold just looking at you.”

Sam stepped forwards, burrowing his way under the blankets, any embarrassment burnt away by the chill inside. He heard Gabriel tut next to him.  

“Can’t get warm? Here, take this sweater off, it won’t help if you aren’t making heat. Basic laws of thermoregulation, Sammy, I thought you went to Stanford?”

Sam tried to help as Gabriel peeled him out of his sweater, but his arms were shaking too much to do more than be a nuisance, so eventually he gave up and let him do what he wanted. But it still came as a shock when Gabriel burrowed under the blankets with him, pressing them chest-to-chest. Sam tensed in surprise.

“Uh…” Gabriel turned his head to look him sternly in the eye. “This is medical cuddling, Winchester, so suck it up. Body heat transfers are gonna warm you up faster than letting you shiver yourself into a coma. And don’t even think about lying and saying you’re fine- I can feel your fingers and they’re like fucking icicles.”

Sam hesitated. The warmth was amazing, as was the feeling of another friendly living body so close to his, but he couldn’t help feeling as though he was taking advantage. “You don’t… need to, you know. If it makes you uncomfortable. You don’t owe me or anything like that.” Gabriel was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke, his voice was more subdued. “I know. But it feels good, doesn’t it? Helping. I realise now why you and your brother spend so much time on it.” He chuckled ruefully. “Being able to help… it’s a powerful thing. I might not be able to do much these days. But I can still do this.”

Sam relaxed. Gabriel was right. They would help each other and they would make it through. Together.

They’d been through so much, both of them, but they were here, and they were alive. Tomorrow morning they’d be woken by the smell of cinnamon rolls and warm laughter and Jack’s childish excitement, and Dean’s horrified shouts when he unwrapped the distinctly phallic package that Sam had seen Gabriel hide under the tree. 

His family.

“Thank you,” He whispered. Gabriel slipped their fingers together and squeezed his hand.

And, for the first time in a long time, Sam was warm. 

[samsexualdeancurious]

Minima Forma Syreni

Pairing: None

Words: 1,669

Summary: Gabriel has a new "pet."

Warnings: Tiny Mer!Dean, sentient beings being kept as pets.

Written for @threshie and inspired by this adorable piece she drew.

Betaed by @mrsimoshen

---

The water tastes all wrong.

Dean had done a quick lap around his strange invisible cage when he first woke but now he’s hiding the best he can - which is, not hiding very well at all. There’s not much in the cage beyond water and the bizarre round pebbles. Dean knows immediately that the few strands of seaweed waving in the slight current aren’t real. There’s a thing that looks like a clam but feels all wrong and Dean can smell that there’s nothing living inside.

He first tried to burrow into the pebbles but quickly discovered that it was impossible. They’re too heavy and he has to move them one-by-one, which is not practical. So now he’s curled against the pretend clam, face buried in his arms and tail tucked in close. He can feel the prick of tears in his eyes and doesn’t fight them, letting them escape into the weird-tasting water.

--

Castiel can’t believe what he’s seeing.

The creature is tiny, maybe about five or six inches long - Cas can’t quite tell with the way he’s curled against the side of a plastic clam shell, face hidden by his arms and mottled green-brown tail tucked in tight against his body. He may be minuscule but Cas would know that shake of shoulders anywhere. The little creature is crying.

“Gabe,” he sighs, straightening up from where he’d bent down to get a closer look.

Gabe is sitting at his desk, feet kicked up. “Isn’t he adorable? The dealer said he should open up soon and even swim around a little bit.”

Cas sighs and glares at his brother.

“What?” Gabe shrugs, putting his feet down. “You told me to get a pet. Something about it ‘teaching me responsibility’?”

“I meant a dog,” Cas grumbles, turning a pitying look back to the tiny being at the bottom of Gabe’s new aquarium.

“Dogs are nice but I definitely couldn’t handle one.”

“A cat, then. Not…” he gestures.

“A miniature mermaid?” Gabe rises and rounds the desk to peek at the latest addition to his household.

“Minima forma syreni,” Castiel says, crossing his arms. “Did you do any research?”

“Didn’t need to,” Gabe replies. “The dealer was really knowledgeable. Gave me a whole list of things to make sure Tiny lives a comfortable, happy life. I haven’t gotten all the things for his tank yet - they’re coming in the mail tomorrow. I think he’ll really like things once it’s all set up.”

“Tiny,” Cas echoes. “Yes, he probably would like some better places to hide. Can’t you see the poor thing is terrified? Look at him, he’s crying.”

Gabe frowns, shooting Cas a puzzled look. “Why would he be crying?”

“Because minima forma syreni are only different from regular syreni in size.” Cas rubs a hand over his face. “Which you would know if you’d bothered to do any research or even just asked me, your brother, the marine biologist and local mermaid expert.”

Gabe’s mouth drops open in a soft “oh.” He turns to look at “Tiny” again with new eyes.

“I’m such an asshole,” he says after a long moment.

“Do you know where the dealer got him from?” Cas asks.

“He said it was that little cove on the north end of Bridal Beach,” Gabe answers. “Apparently there’s a whole school that migrates there in the warmer months.”

Cas knows the spot. He’s never seen miniature mermaids there but he also hasn’t really looked. “It’s still warm. His family may still be there.”

Gabe straightens up. “Let’s get him home, then.”

--

Dean peeks out from his arms when he hears a soft tap tap. His heart leaps into his throat at the sight of a giant face outside his cage. Blue eyes are looking at him, watching, and while the size of the two-fin is terrifying, something in those eyes is soothing.

“We’re going to get you out,” the two-fin says, voice distorted by the water. Dean perks up at the words. How does the two-fin know his language? Dean doesn’t allow himself to wonder for long, thoughts immediately shifting to more important things like the idea that he’ll get to see Sam again. He’s not going to die in this strange invisible cage. “We’re going to take you home.”

Home, Dean mouths, lifting off the fake clam with a small flick of his tail.

The two-fin nods, smiling. “Home.”

--

Cas manages to coax the syreni into a smaller container for transportation. Dean, he knows now. Poor thing is terrified and missing his family, especially his little brother. He’d balked from the travel fish tank but then steeled himself at the reminder of where they were going - home. Home to Sam.

Now Dean has tucked himself into one corner of the container, hiding from Gabriel with Castiel’s hand where it’s curled around the plastic. Occasionally, though, he pops up to the surface to ask Castiel questions in the soft chirping language of the smallest syreni. It’s mostly variations of “how much longer?” but Dean also wants to know how and why Castiel knows their language. Cas is more than happy to talk to him, simultaneously keeping Dean distracted and practicing the language. He even learns a few new words.

It’s getting late by the time they arrive at the beach and there aren’t that many people around. Cas leads the way to the cove, Dean’s container clutched tightly in both hands as he picks his way along the rocky path. Gabe follows at a slower pace, clearly still feeling bad. Dean becomes more active the nearer to the water they get.

“They’re going to be in hiding,” Dean says as they walk. “But maybe I can get Sam to come and say hi?”

“I would like that,” Cas replies. “But he doesn’t have to if he’s not comfortable.”

Dean is nodding, eyes locked on the water as it finally comes into view. Cas picks up the pace, kicking off his shoes and socks as he goes, and is soon crouching at the water’s edge with the waves lapping gently at his toes.

“Here you go,” he says softly, popping the lid off and lowering the container fully into the water to allow Dean to swim out. His heart swells at the happy little twists and flips Dean does before coming up to float on the surface with his eyes closed. “Feel good?”

“The best feeling,” Dean tells him. “That other water was all wrong.”

Cas smiles. “Go find your family. I’ll be here.”

Dean nods and, with one flick of his tail, he’s gone.

Cas moves to sit where his feet can still be in the water but his butt won’t get wet. Gabe sits beside him, knees folded to his chest.

“I’m an asshole,” Gabe says quietly.

“You didn’t know.”

“Yeah but I should’ve researched. I should’ve at least asked you.”

“Hindsight,” Cas says with a shrug. “You allowed me to remedy things and bring Dean home. We’ll stop by a shelter on the way back to your house and see what we can find. Unless you want a fish. You’ve got a decent-sized saltwater tank set up now. You could get one or two small saltwater fish to start with and upgrade your tank in the future if you want more.”

“Some saltwater fish would be cool,” Gabe acquiesces. “But I wouldn’t mind stopping by the shelter even if it’s just to pet the puppies.” Cas smiles. “I’m sure the puppies wouldn’t mind.”

--

As expected, Dean’s family is all hidden in the deepest parts of the cove. He finds them easily enough, though. After all, he knows what to look for. It isn’t long before he reaches the first patrol and finds a familiar face.

“Dean!”

Sam more collides with than hugs him, large body knocking his big brother back a couple of tail strokes when they meet.

“You’re home,” Sam mumbles, clinging to Dean with his whole being.

Dean wraps his arms around Sam, holding him close in a way he hasn’t done often since Sam reached adulthood. “Told ya not to worry about me.”

Sam shakes his head, pulling back a little to meet Dean’s gaze. He looks tired, like he hasn’t been sleeping well in the handful of weeks since Dean was captured. “We thought you were gone forever. How did you escape the two-fins?”

“I had some help. C’mon! There’s someone I think you should meet.”

--

They end up sitting in silence for another twenty minutes before a tiny head pops out of the water. Cas is laying down and doesn’t see but Gabe does.

“Cas, they’re back!” he says excitedly.

Cas sits up and it surprised but overjoyed to see not one but two small heads bobbing with the waves.

“Dean?” he calls, scooting closer to the water.

“Cas!” Dean swims closer, reaching out to grab one of Cas’s fingers and use it to stay put despite the waves. Another syreni is tentatively following him. This one is longer than Dean with a similar mottled pattern on his tail, this time in red and brown. His brown hair is long and pulled back. Dean grabs his hand, drawing him closer. “Cas, this is Sam. My brother. Sam, this is Cas and his brother Gabe. Cas helped me get home.”

Sam is gazing up at Cas with wide eyes. He waves.

“Hello, Sam,” Cas says with a smile. “Dean’s told me a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet.”

Sam nods, clinging tight to Dean’s hand.

“I’m glad you found your family,” Castiel tells Dean. “It’s getting late, so Gabe and I have to get going. Will you be staying in the cove much longer?”

“Until the seasons begin to change.” Dean gives Cas’s finger a gentle tug. “But we’ll be back. You better come visit when we’re here. Maybe next time you can meet the rest of my family.”

Cas smiles. “See you soon, then.”

Dean and Sam wave a quick goodbye before disappearing under the waves once more.

---

Team Forever: @mrswhozeewhatsis @laughing-at-the-darkness @books-and-icecream @imsuperawkward @tumbler-tidbits

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Archangels 1

A/n: Dark!Gabe. You are trying to get used to Gabriel being dead. So far it isn’t working. Michael and Raphael are a bit OOC too. 

Words: 1,722

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

_______

Standing in the sanctuary of a large church, you paced. This had to be the dumbest thing that you had done in a while but hey, who was counting? The sound of a loud burst of thunder made you look over your shoulder. After feeling comforted that you were alone, you went back looking around the centuries-old room. You knew why you were here and deep down it made no sense. You were out of her mind!

Looking down at your hand, you looked at the golden ring on your finger. Your heart ached thinking of Gabriel. He had been dead for two months and nothing was getting easier! Sam and Dean told you that time would heal all wounds but it wasn’t! Nothing was making anything easier. Now Sam and Dean avoided you for the most part. They thought that you, their baby sister, had lost your ever-loving mind. They looked at you with wide eyes and whispered behind your back. Both men wouldn’t say it but they thought you were one short of the one who flew over the cuckoo’s nest.

You thought that Sam of all people would understand. After losing Jess he had to get what you were going through…but he didn’t. He didn’t seem to understand your pain, random tears and anger. At first, they would awkwardly hug you and mutter its gonna be okay. Now it was pretty much,

“Y/n, he has been gone for months now. It’s obvious that he isn’t coming back. Can you please stop?”

Soon enough you had stopped showing any emotion in front of Sam and Dean and focused on finding a way to bring Gabriel back yourself. This is what led you to stand in this church in the middle of the night during a raging thunderstorm. If Sam and Dean wouldn’t help her there had to be someone that would!

You knew if something happened to you, Gabriel would have done whatever he could to bring you back so now it was time to do the same thing for him.

“Y/n.”

You turned, seeing Raphael and Michael standing a few feet away. It was still an oddity to you but you had somehow gained favor with the two archangels. How you weren't sure. Maybe it was the fact that they felt awful for everything that ever happened between them and their youngest brother? 

“Michael, Raphael.”

 You replied calmly you stepped away from the altar. Michael was tilting his head as he realized that you were alone. 

“You came alone.”

You nodded sadly as you focused your attention on the eldest archangel. His eyes seemed almost statuesque.

“I need both of your help. I need Gabriel back.”

Both Raphael and Michael exchanged dark expressions before turning back to you. It appeared as if they were playing invisible rock-paper-scissors on which would deal with you. Finally, Raphael sighed.

“Child, he is gone.”

You frowned.

“He was killed. There isn’t any way that neither of you two could bring him back?”

Michael sighed.

“Y/n, our brother had no business in being with you in the first place. No offense to you because you seem nice enough but angels and humans shouldn’t mix. We like you. You are a good human and we understand why Gabriel was in love with you. Our brother made his choice and we are sorry for your loss.”

Raphael glanced at his brother nodding.

“You should move along with your life.”

You bit your lip. That was a lot easier said than done! 

“You both know that there isn’t going to be any moving along. You know who I am.”

Michael sighed.

“Indeed. We do.”

Raphael followed his brother’s lead. For most humans, they would never have been this caring or nice to them. You seemed to be a rare exception. Maybe it was the fact that deep down both archangels still loved their little brother deeply. Knowing that you was in love with him made everything different for them. They were being uncharacteristically nice to her and couldn’t help it.

“Y/n, we know that Gabriel loved you. We get that. He wouldn’t want you to be here or be in this depressed state that you are in. Don’t let your heart be troubled.”

You were even more distraught.

“How can I not be troubled? Can’t you bring him back? Either of you? What would it take?”

Micheal looked to Raphael carefully before looking back to the woman in front of them.

“We can’t bring him back. What’s dead is dead. The barrier isn’t meant to be crossed my dear that why sometimes dead is better. If he came back he may not be the way that he went in.”

Raphael nodded.

“Michael is right child. We wish you the best.”

You frowned.

“Why are you two quoting Pet Sematary?”

Both archangels exchanged confused expressions before Michael turned back to you with a disapproving expression.

“Y/n I know this makes no sense to you but we know what is best for you and our little brother. Although I don’t enjoy your family we do find you acceptable.”

You shrugged.

“Well, thanks... I guess. That is nice coming from you,  Michael.”

You internally smirked knowing Sam and Dean would find this conversation unbelievable.

“It's time we go. Remember what we said, Y/n. What’s dead is dead.”

Raphael repeated before vanishing followed by Michael. 

Standing alone in the church, You sighed knowing that your hopes to have Gabriel brought back wasn’t happening! 

 The drive back to the bunker was the longest of your life! You couldn’t help feeling more let down. Praying two of the remaining archangels was clearly no use! You had thought that they would have wanted their little brother back..apparently not. Maybe it was crazy turning to Michael and Raphael for help in the first place? It was strange that they were so unbelievably cordial and kind to you. Anytime they had spoken to you before it was for insulting your brothers or telling you that your family was nothing but trouble. Today, however, they both seemed full of pity. Maybe they were as bummed over their little brother dying as you? That was what you were hoping for. Hopefully, there wasn’t some alternative motive for their kindness.

Walking back into the bunker Sam and Dean sat at the table looking over information for an upcoming case. Both looked up when you walked in looking less than pleased. Sam and Dean had put off going to bed until you came home. Both wanted to make sure that you were safe in the bunker before passing out.

“You straight?”

Dean asked. You turned to face your older brother.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m going to bed. I’ve had enough for today.”

You replied. Sam frowned.

“Are you hungry? I fixed a casserole.”

You shook your head.

“Nah. Thanks for waiting up for me. Good night.”

“Y/n, wait!”

Dean called. You turned as Dean walked back holding a bouquet of flowers in a nice vase. You gazed at the flowers; totally shocked. Dean handed you the bouquet with a smile. You were totally shocked as you smiled at the lilies, daisies, lilacs, daffodils, and one red rose in the middle.

“Dean this is thoughtful.”

You replied, totally baffled as to how Dean knew what your favorite flowers were. Had you even discussed flowers before?. Sure, they had bought you flowers from time to time on your birthday. It was usually a simple bouquet of daisies and that was it. This bouquet, however, was totally well thought out and probably not cheap! Maybe Sam and Dean were feeling guilty about how they had been acting lately?

 Dean frowned,

“ You would be totally welcome if I had bought this.”

Y/n looked over as Sam who shrugged.

“Floral delivery guy came by earlier while you were out.”

Dean nodded, confirming Sam’s story. His attention was focused on you

“Are you seeing someone?”

You shot him a glare.

“Really?? No! I am not seeing anyone. I am still not over the last one!”

Sam meanwhile, was giving Dean a disapproving expression. Clearly, this was the last thing that he wanted Dean to even ask you. Sam stood.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. We were just surprised that’s all. Maybe it was Cas?”

You nodded. That would be the most logical choice of who the flowers would have come from. He was the only one that really knew how you were feeling. Maybe he had figured out what all of your favorite flowers were along the way as well too?

“Yeah, maybe so. Well, I am taking my flowers from my mystery friend and going to bed.”

Walking into your bedroom, you heard Sam chewing Dean out over the way that he asked if you had a new lover.

“Really, Dean?!”

Around 4 am there was a bang in the kitchen. You immediately woke up and slid out of bed. Noises this early in the morning were few and far between. Sam and Dean were sleeping and wouldn’t dare wake up for a few hours longer.

Walking down the hall, you held the gun that you kept on your bedside table a little closer. There wasn’t another sound to mirror the one that had awoken you previously. Maybe it was just a stupid dream and you really hadn’t heard anything.

 Stepping into the kitchen your eyes widened seeing another bouquet of flowers sitting beside the sink.

“The hell?”

You muttered walking to the sink. This was clearly the weirdest thing that you had experienced in a while. Was Cas just trying to cheer you up?

The sound of footsteps behind you made you freeze. You determined immediately that it wasn’t Sam or Dean. In all of the years of your life, you had almost memorized the sound of your brother’s footsteps. You turned slowly about screaming when you saw Gabriel leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. Your breathing almost stopped as you rubbed your eyes trying to make sure that you had not gone crazy! Surely you weren't crazy! Was Gabriel really standing there looking like nothing had happened to him?

“Yeah, I’m really here sugar. Are you going to kiss me or not?”

_________

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