#we technically talked about complexity for two hours before that so

[pv1isalsoimportant]

Getting home with bites on my neck still visible from hooking up with a fellow academic, gonna tell people it's a work injury.

[infimace-blog]

Thinking about rap as a technical artform and rap as a cultural artform, with respect to Tumblr's incompetence at dealing with either. Tumblr can just barely grasp the former because, like all forms of Black music, it's been repackaged in various ways that are more palatable to to white audiences. I talked last month about how what Tumblr was calling rap while trying to defend its taste in music is more akin to filk songs, but I should admit, sometimes Tumblr cites people who actually rap. It doesn't fix the problem or absolve them of their bullshit, but it is true.

The failure then becomes an inability to recognize or care about how rap functions culturally.

People on Tumblr will take Dungeon Meshi and intricately pick apart how a single chapter connects back to real-world neurodivergence issues and the cultural differences between the West and the East when it comes to handling them, and then look at any given rap song and assume it's skin-deep. Unless it's Hamilton back in the late 2010s, before we all decided it was cringe, in which case they'll gladly dig into the history of the early USA and, like the play itself, sidestep the racism whenever possible.

Take Weird Al, one of the many names that's been thrown around in Kendrick and Drake's wake. Weird Al is technically a rapper. He has done rap. We cannot ignore that as a factual statement. He's not even that bad as a rapper. But he has no engagement with rap as a cultural object; he engages with the artform as a parodist. "Amish Paradise", probably Weird Al's most popular rap parody, doesn't say anything; it's here to riff on a religious minority. But you dig into it just a little and you can see the kind of complexity that Tumblr usually loves to talk about. The song is, after all, a parody of Coolio's Grammy-winning "Gangster's Paradise", which is literally about being a black man in an environment dominated by organized crime and fearing the constant threat of death in that life, but was also created specifically for the movie Dangerous Minds, a middling white savior movie about Michelle Pfeiffer teaching a bunch of bad stereotypes of what people think inner city non-white students are. A movie that was, in turn, based on a white woman's memoirs about teaching in a bad school near San Francisco. You've got this interplay between a white woman's real-life efforts to teach her black and Latino students (I can't speak to how effective she was, mind you), a fictionalized version of that same woman being shown as the sole guiding light for her underdeveloped gangbanging students - and a white actress's crappy Kipling-ass 5/10 film getting Coolio his Grammy. It was tailor-made to be Coolio's big hit with white audiences, getting the push of Michelle Pfeiffer, having slow and deliberate rapping, and lacking the swearing in most of Coolio's oeuvre (Stevie Wonder mandated no swearing in return for letting Coolio sample his music). And, though I suspect this was unintentional, the song plays into the same narrative that the movie does, how this rapper is doomed to his life because "nobody's there to teach [him]", with dramatic choir and strings underscoring the dire fate that awaits this rapper if some charitable white person doesn't help him - the same dramatic choir and strings that Weird Al uses for comedic effect by comparing it to Amish farmwork.

I put that last paragraph together with two or three hours of Wikipedia, and you can do the same kind of analysis with a lot of hit rap songs (and Genius is right there if you need a helping hand - I wouldn't have understood much of Kendrick's Euphoria without it), and I think this drives a lot of my frustration? Tumblr loves to see something cool and then take a few days to write an in-depth post about how cool it is under the surface. So the lack of this when it comes to rap does show a deep disinterest in thinking about it when it isn't fun. And there's so much cool shit to learn about rap. Did you know that Baby Got Back was inspired by the anti-black fatphobia Sir Mixalot's model girlfriend was dealing with in her industry, and was pushing back against the media's general preference for skinny white women? Did you know that there's a Turkish hip-hop scene specifically in Germany because, as a minority that was brought to the country for cheap labor and then forced to exist as second-class citizens, they ended up relating a lot to the music? Just. Dig a bit. There's so much.

[rubylarkspur22]

Neurodivergent Volteer: A Headcanon

So, I've been chatting with a friend about Legend of Spyro. And the first time we(and our friend group), watched the cutscenes together, we all actually suggested Volteer is ADHD/Autistic coded. So now it's a headcanon. As a note, all of us are either officially diagnosed as neurodivergent, or peer-reviewed neurodivergent.

Why do we say this? Personal experience! Half the group is officially diagnosed with one or both of the two. To put it simply, Volteer, albeit probably not intentionally, exhibits at least a couple neurodivergent behaviours, such as:

Rapid fire yapping: When neurodivergent folks get excited, at least in my experience, we talk a lot and we talk fast until we are actively told to stop. I literally yapped about Demon Slayer for 8 hours one time! I sometimes talk faster than I can think, and lose track of myself as a result! And Volteer is a notorious babbler!

Getting guided back to the topic: If you're neurodivergent, you've probably had a multitude of instances where you talk about one topic, but shift to another because of something slightly related to it, rinse and repeat until you lose the plot completely? Well, after Dante's Freezer, one of the first things said is "Yes, Volteer, it's good to see you too. But we don't have time to waste on sentiment. BACK to Cynder. She was doing what to you?" This implies they were discussing what Cynder was doing, then Volteer got caught up in greeting his old friend, and Ignitus indulged before pushing the conversation back to the more pressing topic.

Not everyone understands your special interest terms: It's a running joke that not everyone fully understands Volteer's rambling. Yes, it's technically because he uses more complex terminology, but I definitely feel that. I have had multiple conversations with people(particularly family) outside the circles of my special interests, and have had those people pause the conversation because they had to remind me they don't necessarily know the words I'm using in the context of the conversation. Maybe Volteer just really likes reading thesauruses in his spare time.

TL;DR Volteer is giving Neurospicy, as reviewed by a small group of Neurospicies, and he's a favourite of ours among the Guardians.

[44-moved-44]

Now, I have the dilemma of being both a scrawny Heart and a chubby Heart fan.

My taste in men is scrawny, short and meek, don't get me wrong; and my only taste for chubbier people is very specific, so naturally making my second-favourite character of all time be the latter option seems rather unlikely, but believe it or not I'm capable of liking a character even if they're not my type! Just because I love pathetic twinks doesn't mean rounder characters aren't cool and deserving of love too. :)

However, strangely I just love chubby Heart. I love it when depressed characters are overweight because it adds a special layer of realism; depression can cause overeating, depression can cause a lack of exercise, antidepressants can cause someone to gain weight, someone can become depressed because of insecurities about their weight, etc.

I think we need more characters that are chubby for reasons besides loving food, because there's a lot of complex reasoning behind it! Plus, representation for bigger people is wonderful. But while I could rant about this for hours, that's not what I'm here to talk about!

I made a compromise for my Heart with my love for both headcanons. However, it's not in a way that would be traditionally realistic for humans, it's written with fictional evolution in-mind!

Ids, Heart and Mind (and kind of Soul)'s species in my little canon-divergent AU I share with Grimm Grimm, are strange animals meant to survive in mild conditions, namely forests.

They are not meant to survive the cold; in-fact, bundling up with several layers of clothing won't keep them warm enough, like how a human would.

Instead, they have two solutions that work in coordination: By eating a lot, ids can release a significant amount of that energy as heat, whilst also putting on a lot of weight to help insulate their bodies.

Ids do not have fur (in-fact, they somehow have less than a human does), nor do they know how to start fires in the wild, with their IQ-of-a-five-year-old in their natural habitat. So, they get plumper and spent the coldest hours of the day in a den, snuggling up to one another to preserve and share as much warmth as possible, and rest through much of the colder temperatures, before going out to hunt and forage for plant-based food to help maintain the weight and heat they need.

Heart and Mind are the rare case of civilised ids; ids raised by a human. This means that they don't technically need to do this, as a nicely-heated home can do the trick, but they still have the instinct to get chubbier to help warm, especially with the outside temperatures posing a threat, and the imminent risk of hypothermia even in good conditions.

Heart is not at all bothered by having a heavier size during the colder months, even having a bit of fondness of it due to sating his body's needs. With this compromise, half the year Heart is scrawny, and half the year he's a decent bit chubby– for a reason I think is pretty cool! He's an animal going by animal instincts.

I apologise if this is bad somehow! I have no intentions to hurt anyone's feelings. I just simply like the idea of Heart and Mind getting bigger in the winter months because, well, they're animals, and it's their way of keeping warm. I've always been a massive zoology nerd, so I thought it'd be pretty cool. :)

That's all! I hope you enjoy my little ramble about my little evolutionary anomalies. :)

[alpaca-clouds]

Why AI sucks so much

(And why it doesn't have to.)

AI sucks right now. Because it was never to be used, like it is used right now. Because the way AI is currently employed, it does the one thing, that was always meant to be human.

Look. AI has a ton of technological problems. I wrote about it before. Whenever you have some "AI Writer" or "AI Art", there is no intelligence there. There is only a probability algorithm that does some math. It is like the auto-complete on your phone, just a bit more complex, because it has been fed with basically the entire internet's worth of words and pictures. So, when the AI writes a story, it just knows that there is a high likelyhood that if it has been asked to write a fantasy story it might feature swords, magic and dragons. And then puts out a collection of words that is basically every fantasy story ever thrown into a blender. Same when it "draws". Why does it struggle so much with teeth and fingers? Well, because it just goes by likelihood. If it has drawn a finger, it knows there is a high likelihood that next to the finger is going to be another finger. So it draws one. Simple as that. Because it does not know, what a finger is. Only what it looks like.

And of course it does not fact check.

But all of that is not really the main problem. Because the main culture actually just is the general work culture, the capitalist economy and how we modelled it.

See, once upon a time there was this economist named Kaynes. And while he was a capitalist, he did in fact have quite a few good ideas and understood some things very well - like the fact that people are actually working better, if their basic needs have been taken care for. And he was very certain that in the future (he lived a hundred years ago) a lot of work could be done by automation, with the people still being paid for what the machines were doing. Hence having the people work for like 15 hours a week, but getting paid for a fulltime job - or even more.

And here is the thing: We could have that. Right now. Because we did in fact automate a lot of jobs and really a ton of jobs we have right now are just endless busywork. Instead of actually being productive, it only exists to keep up the appearance of productivity.

We already know that reducing the workdays to four a week or the workload to 30 or even 25 hours a week does not really decrease productivity. Especially with office jobs. Because the fact is that many, many jobs are not that much work and rather just involve people sitting in an office working like two hours a day and spending the rest with coffee kitchen talk or surfing the internet.

And there are tons of boring jobs we can already automate. I mean, with what I am working right now - analyzing surveying data - most I do is just put some parameters into an algorith and let the algorith do the work. While also part time training another algorithm, that basically automatically reads contracts to make notes what data a certain contract involves. (And contrary to what you might believe: No, it is not complicated. Especially those text analysis tasks are actually super simple to construct, once you get the hang of it.)

Which also means, that half of my workday usually is spend of just sitting here and watching a bar fill up. Especially with the surveying data, because it is large, large image files that at times take six to ten hours to process. And hint: Often I will end up letting the computer run over night to finish the task.

But that brings me to the question: What am I even doing here? Most of the time it takes like two hours to put the data in, run a small sample size for checking it and then letting it run afterwards. I do not need to be here for that. Yet, I do have to sit down for my seven and a half hours a day to collect my paycheck. And... It is kinda silly, right?

And of course there is the fact that we technically do have the technology to automate more and more menial tasks. Which would make a lot of sense, especially with the very dangerous kinda tasks, like within mining operations. Like, sure, that is a lot more work to automate, given that we would need robots that are actually able to navigate over all sorts of terrain, but... You know, it would probably save countless lives.

Same goes for many, many other areas. We could in fact automate a lot. Not everything (for example fruit picking is surprisingly hard to automate, it turns out), but a lot. Like a real lot.

And instead... they decided to automate art. One of the things that is the most human, because art for the most part depends on emotions and experience. Art is individual for the most part. It is formed by experience and reflection of the experience. And instead of seeing that, they decided to... create a probability generator for words and pixels.

So, why?

Well, first and foremost, because they (= the owner class) do want to keep us working. And with that I mean those menial, exhausting, mind-numbing jobs that we are forced to have right now. And they want us to keep working, because the more free time we have, the more time we have to organize and, well, rise up against the system, upon realizing how we are exploited. Work itself is used as a tool of oppression. Which is why, no matter how many studies show that the 30 hour week or 4 day week is actually good, that UBI actually helps people and what not, the companies are so against it. It is also why in some countries, like the US, the companies are so against paid sick leave, something that is scientifically speaking bonkers, because it actually harms the productivity of the company. And yes, it is also why still in the midth of a pandemic, we act as if everything is normal, because they found out that in the early pandemic under lock down and less people working, people actually fucking organized.

And that... also kinda is, why they hate art. Because art is something that is a reflection upon a world - and it can be an inspiration for people, something that gives them hope and something worth working towards to. So, artists are kinda dangerous. Hence something has to be done to keep them from working. In this case: Devaluing their work.

And no, I do not even think that the people programming those original algorithms were thinking this. They were not like "Yes, we need to do this to uphold the capitalist systems", nor do most of the AI bros, who are hyping it right now. But there are some people in there, who see it just like that. Who know the dangers of actual art and what it can mean for the system that keeps them powerful.

So, yeah... We could have some great stuff with AI and automation... If used in other areas.

I mean, just imagine what AIs could do under communism...

[art-of-fict]

Commissions are open! 0/10 slots filled!

Hi y'all!

I have a little less than a year about 3 months!! before I'm moving to start a new job, hoping to save up a bit in preparation. If you'd like to help out (of just think my art is nice) consider sending me a commission! (I also reduced my prices a bit!)

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask!

Terms of Service <- can be intimidating if you're unfamiliar, but this is here for accountability because...well, I am asking for your money, and you're asking for my time, so please make sure to look it over!

P.S. I know I got this template from someone else but I cannot for the life of me remember where. If you know please tell me so I can link them!

Slots:

10: total (0 filled)

4: PFP (0 filled)

3: Sketch (B&W) (0 filled)

2: Sketch (color) (0 filled)

1: Digital painting (0 filled)

If filled you can ask to be wait-listed, first-come-first serve

The visual pitch:

The details in text format:

Option 1: Profile Picture

Flat colors only

1 subject only (no multiple characters in one icon please, it is simply too small)

$15 for one, $25 for two

1-2 day turnaround after I begin the commission

You can request no signature on the piece itself for no extra charge, but please credit me where you use it!

P.S. I can also do banners! If you're okay with the same flat colors and shading, the pricing is the same, otherwise, it needs to be negotiated. Depending on what you want, it may fit one of the other categories better.

You will be expected to pay the full amount upfront

Option 2: Black and white sketch

Portrait/bust is $10, full-body is $20, with +$5 per extra character on both

Chibi is $5

Backgrounds are available, but will cost extra. The exact figure depending on complexity, research required, etc., but will be fixed before you're expected to pay

You will be expected to pay the full amount upfront

Option 3: Colored sketch

Flat colors with flat aka cel-shading

Half-body is $30, and full-body is $45, add $8 per extra character

Again, backgrounds are available. A simple background of some nice colors in nice shapes won't cost any extra. A detailed background depicting some kind of room or other "3D" environment will. Again, the exact figure would be up to the scale and complexity.

I will update the examples here at some point, since these are unshaded (and you can request that!). I know I can do this sort of shading well, but I just can't seem to find a recent example, and the examples I try and create specifically for these sorts of things always seem to come out missing something :/

You will be expected to pay at least half upfront

Option 4: Digital painting

The big boys! I know it's a big price jump, but these fellas generally take in the ballpark of 20+ hours over several weeks. The others can usually be done within 1–8 hours over at most few days.

Starting at $200 for one character against a simple background

"Simple background" can range from a single solid color to some fun overlapping colored shapes. A messy scenery is a bit of a grey zone.

A "complex background" is generally a full environment and/or detailed extra objects meant to fill negative space and add to the meaning of the piece. Lighting can also contribute to complexity.

I will keep in touch about progress on the piece, you can also ask to see a WiP anytime

We will talk through the details and agree on a price based on estimated time to completion, research required, and technical difficulty. You will be expected to pay 50% of that price upfront, and the rest on delivery.

Option 5: Design commission

If the character you want has no previous art or other image I can reference, that's a design commission!

I love design comms, they are so much fun! Just be aware that the process can take a while, with several back-and-forths and revisions along the way

Design commissions can overlap with the other categories as well. You may request a new design to use used in a pfp, a sketch, or a painting. Just be aware that the design process will add to the price!

I can also do your basic reference sheet. These are highly malleable, and you can request as many elements as you want.

The most basic comes with:

-> Colored sketch of the subject (front and back)

-> The color palette, either within the piece or as a separate file

-> Closeups of 1–3 details

-> The rights to the design

Optional elements include, but aren't limited to: extra closeups on details/items/tattoos/scars/etc.; side and 3/4s views; expression sketches; dynamic sketches; size reference; etc.

As far as pricing goes, if you're requesting a reference sheet, we will discuss what elements you want and the relative difficulty of the design. We will agree on an initial estimate, of which you will be expected to pay 50% upfront. After completion, we will tally time worked, and discuss elements added or subtracted from the original order, and agree on a final payment.

If you're requesting a design to be rendered in one of the other options I have, the price of the design and the price of the finished piece will be considered separately.

-> I will not hold you to working with me to create a full reference sheet, but for any design commission, I will require feedback on the design before I begin sketching on the actual piece.

-> We'll agree on a price for the design, and it will be added to the price at the end. It won't be considered in the 50% you would be required to pay upfront (unless requested).

-> We'll work together to make sure the design is reasonably priced. The reason I ask for anything extra at all is because design work involves additional research and planning.

General points:

My style can be very malleable! It doesn't have to be strictly painterly. If you want something in a style from my other works, feel free to ask! (And I'll be sure to update more on here so you can actually see what I've done!) Basically...Don't want to order off the menu? Don't worry, just talk to the chef and we can find you something you'll like!

I specialize in humanoid characters, but I can do animals and hybrids/furries as well, just be aware that rendering fur or scales in the painterly style will count as "asking for a lot of detail."

I struggle with complex machinery—my strengths are in the organic world.

On that note, mechs are inherently high-detail, and I may not be the best person for the job. I'd be more than willing to take a look at a design to see if it's within my abilities, just know that there's a bit of a skill gap between Baymax and Gundam. I'm willing to challenge myself, though!

Lastly, please no NSFW, much like with mechs, that's simply not my area of expertise, but unlike with mechs, I have even less experience! I would need some practice before I wanted to accept.

[demoxal]

How to be a decent parent: A guide by Hamato Yoshi

Chapter 3: You need a babysitter as a single parent (so try to get one for free) Previous | Next

“I’ve been meaning to ask, el rato,” Hueso says, leaning on a counter as I start my shift. I hum questioningly from my position kneeling on the floor. “Why do you always put your child in the cupboard?” Me and Donnie both blink up at him, the boy even looking up from whatever he’s been doing to his crinkly toy. I smile at him:

“Yeah, we’re talking about you.” I poke his forehead gently and he tries to catch my finger. I let him and he inspects it in apparent fascination, petting my fur and watching it change the way it lays. I turn back to Hueso, “Donnie doesn’t like the lights. He seems fine with the noise, but the lights stress him out.”

I had to change the way that everyone is strapped to me because Raph becomes very distressed when at least one of his brothers isn’t in direct contact with him. Leo is one kicky baby, so usually I put Raphael in a sling with Mikey and put Leo in Donnie’s backpack setup so he doesn’t provoke his brothers. Hueso let me set up a soft “room” in Donnie’s cupboard so he doesn’t get hurt while I can’t supervise him (thankfully the days of randomly ceasing to breathe and being unable to hold up his head have long passed, if he even had those).

“You can’t keep just slinging around infants while on shift.” Hueso frowns.

“Well I can’t just leave them.” I shrug.

“My ex-wife owes me.” he says, out of nowhere. I just stare at him, waiting for him to elaborate. “She could babysit.”

“Aren’t you the one who got custody of Junior?”

“Yes, when he was four.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re gonna ask your ex-wife, who you probably haven’t spoken to in months, to babysit four cappa infants that aren’t even mine in the legal sense?”

He shrugs, like that’s a tomorrow problem. “She likes weird kids.”

“That… actually might work.” I pause. “But only for an hour or two at a time. They still need to feed every three hours or they start screaming. Like banshees.”

Hueso winces, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Fine. Part-time help. Just don’t let any of them fall into the deep fryer.”

“No promises about Leo. That one’s got a death wish.”

Behind me, Leo lets out a delighted squawk from his new spot strapped to my back, as if to prove my point by nearly launching himself backward like a spring-loaded potato. I reach behind me on instinct and pin him back down with a flat hand.

Hueso sighs. “Deu, you are exhausting.”

“You’re the one who hired me.”

“You’re the one who showed up looking like a cryptid nanny with nowhere else to go.”

He has a point. I glance at the clock. Ten minutes till open. “You want me to mop or run stock first?”

“Mop,” he grumbles. “That frog wizard from uptown tracked glitter through here again. I swear if I catch him-”

“Murder. Got it,” I say lightly, grabbing the mop and twirling it once like a baton.

Donnie makes a delighted coo from his cupboard.

Hueso watches him for a moment, then mutters, “Why do I feel like I’m going to end up with five employees under four feet tall by the end of the year.”

I grin. “Because you’re soft, boss.”

“I’m overworked and undercaffeinated.”

“And soft.” He throws a dish rag at me. I duck.

Five minutes pass by uneventfully. I was mopping, Hueso was talking to someone on the phone, then joined me in wiping down counters. Four minutes before we open, the doorbell jingles. I glance up.

Who enters is the same kind of yokai as Hueso and they are similarly thin, but their “lips” are thinner and their shoulders have a relaxed slope to them. Their dress is colourful, consisting of a white pirate shirt and a skirt with a beautifully complex pattern and colour scheme, a bandana covering their head.

I wonder if I should tell them that we’re still technically closed when they open their mouth:

“Ah, Hueso, ¿así que este es el desmadre en el que te metiste por casarte?” I blink, trying to translate their words in my head. “Is this, something something, married(?), something”. Yeah, my Spanish definitely needs some work.

"No me casé-” 

"Ni me digas, no quiero saber." They laugh, airy and melodic, covering their mouth with a dainty hand. They finish laughing at Hueso’s expense, then finally seem to notice me — or, more accurately, the infant strapped to my front currently gnawing on a teething ring with great determination. “¡Ay, no me digas que este muñequito es tuyo, Hueso!” they gasp with mock scandal, then turn their bright eyes on me. “¿Y tú quién eres, corazón? No te había visto antes.” I open my mouth to respond but they cut me off, reaching forward and gently patting Raph’s little foot. “Soy Médula, por cierto. ¿Y tú? ¿Cómo te llamas, mi cielito?” There is a beat of silence.

“…Uh,” I manage eloquently, eyes wide. “Sorry, I don’t— I mean, No hablo espanol…?” There’s a pause.

Then Médula gasps — hand to her chest, eyes wide with theatrical shock. “Oh, honey, and here I was laying it on thick like you were born and raised in Oaxaca.” She laughs again, all light and mischief. “¡Ay, este calaverito no me dijo nada!” she says, throwing Hueso a dramatic glare. “You didn’t tell me your helper was this cute and tragically monolingual! Don’t worry, mi cielito, I gotchu. English is fine.”

She leans in a little, examining my face, then Raph and Mikey. Okay, so I think this is his ex-wife. Okay. Cool cool cool.

“Um, one’s in the cupboard because he doesn’t like the lights here and one is on my back.” I warn her, “And I’d be eternally grateful if you helped me take care of them while I work because, as much as I love them, they’re way too much trouble when I’m getting yelled at.”

“Of course, of course!” she nods, smiling, “What are the muñequitos named?”

“Alright, so this one is Raphael, he’s a sweetheart but will bite you if your hand is too close to his face, and he needs at least one of his brothers in line of sight. He’s very touchy, so the best one for keeping him calm is Michelangelo, who is this little fellow, he’s an angel, the one strapped to my back is Leonardo and he loves to kick and also try to eat Donnie specifically and the one in the cupboard is Donatello, he doesn’t like being jostled. Good luck!”

Médula chuckles, now with her arms full of babies all doing their own thing and I can finally work like a normal person.

[variousqueerthings]

My granny used to put things on tumblr

It's! The Infamous! Kill The Moon! otherwise known here as the pro-life Doctor Who episode. so that's... something that was on my mind while watching. To be honest, I don't think I'd go that far, I think it was mainly politically completely unsure of what point it was trying to make at all

but yes, it makes the suggestion that Tumblr is not only around but a hit with the teenagers in the year of 2049, which is actually its best and funniest statement

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 8/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 8/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually and philosophically and emotionally): 3/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 7/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 5/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 4/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 4/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 3/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 2/10

FULL RATING: 54/100 (if I can count….)

this episode.........

OBJECTIFICATION: we brought back fan-favourite ORANGE SPACESUIT (orange spacesuit my beloved). Actually genuinely, hi bby I miss you every time I don't see you. It's been in this season twice for some reason

apart from Clara, we also have Courtney the teenager, and um... science space lady whom I recognise from back when I watched all of Spooks just to get to Richard Armitage in s7 of that. but enough about MI6 propaganda, this is um... Moon Propaganda? listen, I know exactly why it's called the Pro-life episode, and technically that is its worst implication with what it's doing, but I think there's so much else we can tear it to pieces for

however, objectification of its female characters is, blissfully, not one of them

PLOT-POINT: so as of time of beginning this sentence, I've rated this one quite highly, because it's all about Clara's trust and faith in the Doctor being shaken, when he treats her badly just one fucking time too many

I'm unsure if it'll continue being highly rated, because unfortunately the way the episode went about all of it was sooooooooo "forcing something into the correct shaped hole in order to make this exact point and so as consequence I feel like Clara almost suffers as a character, rather than grows"

but this may be an issue to come at in other points. Technically it fulfills this remit!

COMPLEXITY: moon's an egg. [gets a nuclear bomb]. moon's an egg.

oh boy oh boy does it try to do something emotionally complex with this one, but really all it's about is that ostensibly all of humanity is wrong for being worried about a Thing Happening that they've had exactly no knowledge of since like. less than an hour before they have to make a decision, and even then have barely any info on

seriously, listening to Clara's speech, I was wondering if I was on earth, how would I react to that? Ok so wait, moon's an egg- oh it's hatching, right now? and we want to blow it up to... turn it back into the moon? BBC science advisors what do you make of this, oh hallowed of totally unbiased news? doesn't the moon doing all of this mean the earth is fucked either way, I mean... something with tides right? ahhh we have vote by turning off the ligh- well the council roadworks shorted out the building again mate, so idk. guess I'll die. or the moon dies. or we both die? do I have enough mobile data to check in with this one?

so wait, if the moon's an egg- [episode ends]

they should not have involved the whole earth in this one for starters. secondly the Doctor leaving is bonkers yonkers. thirdly the scifi bullshit is streeeeetched thin. sooooo thin in this one. fourthly Science Lady with the nukes, I don't understand your motivations very well beyond Space Scary so this might be scary also. fifthly Clara being in the middle of something that makes so little sense, means that I'm having to engage with her emotions about something that makes no sense, so how can I take her arc seriously? this is ostensibly a Clara-centric episode that has her reevaluate her whole feelings about the Doctor based on being warned about Red Flags numerous times, but the science fiction underlying concept is "would you kill this unborn child if it would save billions of people" to which the answer is... yes?

(aaaand we come around to the pro-life vibes of the plot eyyyy we got there)

but mainly "would you kill this unborn child if it would save billions of people" is then peppered with so many "uhhh ignore this logic flaw" moments that I can't get into the actual ostensible philosophical point it's trying to make, because not only is it a bad point, it's also made badly -- it's not "would you kill this unborn child to save billions," it's "this hypothetical child is the moon, and whether or not you kill it doesn't matter, because the earth is gonna be without a moon either way, so you're basically fucked might as well let it live" or even (as it turns out to be) "this unborn child is the moon in a system that deliberately makes sense to allow earth to continue, so there's no real stakes here actually"

ironically M*ffat-era did this better in s5ep2 with The Beast Below, and there was more to it than "just" people kinda suck. like yeah, that episode struuuuggled with justifying its political structure, but its central philosophical ideas are quite interesting and Amy's journey in that is about growing and changing and seeing

Kill The Moon has such a simple premise that you can't see anything but the question it's asking and the more you look at it the more you go... "wait, what?"

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: this is the episode where Clara finally goes, "hey fuck you!" at the Doctor and yeah, it better be, however I have so many questions about what the heck the Doctor is doing in it

a. leaving Clara behind just to see what she'll do b. "lol if the child that crucially I am the only own who knows doesn't have to die dies, then that's a learning opportunity for... someone" c. this episode starts because the Doctor told a clearly-struggling teenage girl that she "wasn't special." not onscreen or anything, just at some point, just cos -- I have been reminded several times (by others and also by myself) that Ten could be quite unthinking at times, and this is true. it brings to mind when Ten says to Donna that she's not important, but the context there is that Ten sometimes says/does things without thinking and in this instance, crucially, is having a bit of a rough time, and then spends the rest of their time together basically apologising for his own words. now not that this is a "competition," they're not real etcetc. but Twelve is. A Dick. To Everyone. and that is kind of just... there. I am waiting for something to happen with that, I am seeing where this is going, but seeing as I brought up Eleven and The Beast Below a second ago, "you couldn't bear to watch a child cry" is one of the most interesting things about that character, and other Doctors bear this out too. they are -- for the most part -- not massive dicks to kids

Twelve has a line in this where after Clara rebukes him for being a bastard to the kid for the whole episode, goes "she’s fine, what are you 35?" (Courtney then replies, "15")

it's fascinating that this Doctor not only doesn't like people, this Doctor doesn't even see people

and Clara is now reacting to this at last by going, hey buddy, fuck you

but I am definitely reaching a point where I hope all of this makes some sense, because oh boy is the Doctor just not likeable, and the more that is stretched out, the less fun I have watching these episodes, especially when it feels like it's being leaned on for comedy

COMPANIONS MATTER: I have feelings about M*ffat having a couple of episodes where some kids that Clara knows are brought on a space adventure, and those feelings are... it was bad

I think the actress who plays Courtney is better than the two kids in Nightmare In Silver, but she is -- like them -- such a badly written teen, do you not know how 15 year olds speak? what is the purpose of having kids in these stories, if you're not telling a story for that age group? "Hey, you too could fly on the Tardis and have an adventure and do something incredible," but instead it's "hey you too could... tag along, get bored, sit on your phone, make stupid comments, and be ragged on by adults the entire time"

I will give Courtney is 100% going "uh let's not kill this creature" the whole time (weirder vibes with the pro-life undertones, fine if you just consider that like... it doesn't make sense to kill it anyway, because once again, have to say, the scifi is so bullshit as to be unintelligible)

meanwhile Clara asks the earth for advice, decides not to kill the moon against earth's advice and everything is fine and dandy (no consequences within the actual episode, because it's really just a backdrop on which to cause Doctor and Clara Drama), it's... the more you think about it, the less she has to do in this episode, other than to emote (understandably) at the Wildness of the Doctor just deciding to leave her alone, just... because.....

but yeah, technically none of them need to be there. even Science Lady is barely an antagonist

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: HE'S A DICK WITH A TIME MACHINE WHO DECIDES TO PLAY 5D CHESS FOR NO REASON FUCKYOU MATE

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: HE'S A DICK WITH A TIME MACHINE WHO DECIDES TO PLAY 5D CHESS FOR NO REASON FUCKYOU MATE <- this was the previous point also, and I think that may be unfair to call "totally against every way the character has been written thus far," but then again.... is it?

we've had Machiavellian Doctor. we've had Doctor makes decisions for others, because they don't trust people with their own agency (literally from the beginning). we've even had Doctor who tries to unwrite a fixed point in time because of being mad with grief

we've had many flavours of this kind of Doctor. but have we had a Doctor who just... leaves.... because fuck this noise. not leaves out of defeat. not leaves out of disgust with people. not leaves because of idk, exhaustion. leaves because "hey why not let you deal with this one, even though I have all of the information to defuse the situation instantly, but I just don't like anything anymore"

there's some grains of something that could be interesting there -- and even is interesting in other episodes of this season, but maaan do I feel like they gambled on how far they could push things with this episode, but failed to make anything in it compelling, and so the Doctor comes out the other side an incomprehensible asshole

there are fun references to classic who in this episode, but at least one of them feels bastardised (the earth isn't my home) in order to justify the Doctor simply not caring anymore. it's like the inverse journey of Nine, but an endless endless slog

boy oh boy does this season/era have a lot of legwork to do to make me care

“SEXINESS”: I guess at least this is fine?

INTERNAL WORLD: *I wish I could take a massive swig of wine but I do not drink. sips tea with disgust instead* the moon is an egg could be fun. it is not. political situation on earth that merits earth being involved in this episode? nah none of that

Tumblr is still around though. should I vote it one down or up for that assumption?

POLITICS: ohhhhkay we've covered this I feel, in all the other points, but to summarise: it's so incomprehensible, with a dash of I think definitely unintentional pro-life stuff going on, but mainly just there to justify the Doctor's continued bleak, cynical, utter lack of faith in humanity As A Statement

sure there's a breadcrumb at the end of "and now I guess you'll get better" but it's just... it's like you know how Rise Of The Guardians has this whole Thing where children stop believing except for this one persistent light that won't get snuffed out, and so the Guardians all gather around that light as a way to regain their powers and protect the children

this episode doesn't even have one persistent light, never mind a coherent political statement. I think the one persistent light was meant to be Courtney, but it failed so hard at having purpose on any fronts that of course she was barely needed in it either

we also get an added nugget of Danny as he uses his experiences in the army to mirror Clara's experience with the Doctor (which, even that is just... bleak as hell comparison to make here)

Danny: I left the army Clara: You loved the army Danny: Yep. And then one day I didn’t

seriously hope we get something more in-depth about Danny versus the military industrial complex at some point -- I mean, orphan who found structure in a system, the violence of which eventually drove him out? that's interesting. Potentially

FULL RATING: 54/100 (if I can count….)

this episode should not be rated this highly, but its crimes do not extend to literally treating its female characters as garbage for being women, although I do have some questions about Courtney as a Black teen who's told she isn't special as what sounds like a casual aside and acts out as the setup for this episode to happen in the first place

at least we hear she does well at the end of the episode, but urgh, why is she there for this story, when so much of it is pointless, her being there is just as pointless as the rest of it

at the end of it, we are left to question: okay but does the Doctor's character regression at least get better after this?

and what is Clara's whole... deal (at least that, I think, is answered at the end of the next one)

[finkinthisfrew]

Anything (Pt.35)

cw: 18+ish :)

Chapter 35

"Look at you two! You actually made it!" I heard George's voice interrupt what had become a long-winded explanation to Matty about my favourite ceramicist as we turned to see him exiting the elevator doors.

"Did everyone leave already?" I asked George in confusion as he casually strolled up to where Matty and I sat in the hotel lobby. 

"You're actually five minutes early," George replied matter-of-factly as he sat down across from us with a big smile. "I told the rest of the band 30 minutes because I knew you two would be late and I didn't want to have to wait around for you all," George said, leaning back in his chair as he folded his arms behind his head, looking very proud of himself.

My jaw dropped as I looked at George in disbelief.

"You lied to me?!" I complained, offended, even though we were technically 15 minutes late... But George didn't know that.

"Well by the looks of that fresh love bite on your neck, Anna, I think I made the right call, don't you?" George said casually as his eyebrow raised behind his yellow-tinted glasses.

I blushed as I absentmindedly reached my hand to hide the hickey on my neck, remembering the way Matty's lips had felt on my skin mere minutes ago. Matty's chuckle broke me from my flashback and I whipped my head back to shoot him a look of betrayal. He raised both his hands defensively.

"He's not wrong, darling," he said innocently. I grumbled in defeat, sinking into Matty's lap as he wrapped his arms back around me, one of his hands landing on my neck, thoughtfully covering my hickey for me from George.

"So aside from sucking each other's faces off, what have I missed?" George prompted.

Matty explained how we'd just been talking about artists that had changed our lives and we all dove back into conversation while we waited for the rest of the band to show up.

Half an hour later, Matty and I lay curled up together on a large cushy daybed, hiding from the roasting hot sun under a large parasol as he read the last few lines of a poem from a Pablo Neruda book we'd bought in town on the way to the beach. We'd gushed excitedly over the book of poetry when we'd found it, happy to see it had the English translations opposite of every poem. I couldn't help but sigh from bliss as I listened to Matty's soothing voice speak these perfect words, the hum of it vibrating his chest beneath my cheek in such a comforting way.

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way than this:

where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep"

Matty closed the book with a sigh.

"It's so satisfying to hear love spoken about in a way that resonates like that. I feel like so often I can't find the words to explain- truly explain- how it feels to be with you. And somehow Pablo figured out how to do it in a couple of sentences..." Matty ran his finger along my spine in thought as the band chattered around us, drinking beers and laughing in the sunshine.

I nodded into Matty's chest, understanding completely.

"I know what you mean. They take these complex emotions and almost simplify them..." I agreed. "Can I recite you a poem?" I asked as I propped my head up to look at his glowing face, his ivory skin growing more golden and freckled with every passing day.

"Of course, my darling," Matty said, passing me the book. I declined before taking a deep breath, looking at every freckle adoringly as I recited one of my favourite poems.

"since feeling is first

who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool while Spring is in the world

my blood approves, and kisses are a better fate than wisdom lady I swear by all flowers. Don't cry – the best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other; then laugh, leaning back in my arms for life's not a paragraph

And death I think is no parenthesis"

Matty's eyes, their colour even richer in the tropical sunshine, looked at me in awe.

"That's beautiful. You had that memorized?" he asked in awe.

I nodded modestly.

"I memorize my favourite ones," I said with a shrug. "There's so much I love about that poem, but I often think about that line when I'm with you: 'The best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids flutter which says we are for each other.'" I repeated. "That's how I feel with you sometimes- you'll just look at me and I'll feel overwhelmingly loved. You'll kiss me and I'll feel like you're telling me a thousand things I couldn't even dream of summarizing on my most eloquent day," I explained in wonderment.

Matty shook his head with a smile.

"I feel like you're reciting my own thoughts to me..." Matty said in reverence. "You simply blink at me and with that say a million things about our love that I couldn't even begin to fathom trying to put into words..."

I smiled at him affectionately and smiled back at me, his eyes full of tenderness. Fuck I loved being in love with him so much.

"I hope we never wake up," Matty sighed as he looked back and forth between my eyes adoringly.

"From this dream?" I asked with a giggle.

Matty nodded before pulling me up to kiss me tenderly. I melted into his touch, savouring the way he hummed happily when I kissed him deeper.

"Fancy a dip?" Matty asked when we finally pulled apart, looking up at me from under his curtain of curls. 

"Yes, please!" I nodded eagerly.

Matty took my hand in his as we walked excitedly into the water.

After a few minutes of splashing around and playing with each other, I swam over to where Matty stood in the water. He picked me up, wrapping my legs around him as he kissed me deeply, then waded us deeper into the ocean, tightening his arms around me as the waves gently pushed against us.

I looked down at Matty's chest and traced my finger over the pale pink lines that were almost gone.

"I can't lie, I'm a bit sad these are fading," I said to Matty as he spun me around gently in the water.

"Me too," Matty admitted earnestly. He paused for a moment before continuing. "I know I teased you a bit incessantly about liking me having these on stage, but I have to say... showing these off, I felt quite proud," he confessed with a bashful half-smile. He looked down at my finger which paused on his chest and I watched as a bead of water dripped from one of his curls onto his bottom lip where it clung to him. He took a breath before looking back up at me. "I was pretty proud I got to show off a bit of you up on stage- show the world that I'm yours," he grinned at me. 

My stomach swooped at his words as I felt myself gloat inwardly. This man- this devastatingly handsome and deeply caring man- was telling me how he loved showing off that he was mine? I could pinch myself.

"Well now I definitely know I'm dreaming," I said as I fluttered my eyes back down to his chest, too flattered to look into his, which I knew were looking at me with overwhelming love.

"You aren't dreaming, you are a dream. You're a goddess," Matty said with adoration. 

My eyes shot back up to his immediately.

"No no, hold on. I thought we agreed - you're the god. I have proof- remember the photo?" I corrected sternly.

"Anna, you may think I'm a handsome lad, but you-" he paused, his face very serious as he shook his head gently. "You transcend the meaning of goddess," he said, his eye contact unbreaking. I wanted to look away, I felt overwhelmed by the compliment, but my eyes were glued to his. 

"I love you biblically, Anna,"  he said, his voice lowering with passion. He leaned down to kiss my collarbone delicately, then placed a second kiss just below my jaw. I shivered and I felt him squeeze me tighter in response as his lips grazed my cheek.

"If you were a religion, I would practice you every day," he said quietly, almost to himself as he ran his hand down my spine to my lower back. I felt myself grow wet at his words as a ball of desire began to expand in my chest. His hand landed on my hip where he looked down at the tie of my bikini, his fingers playing with the strings. He groaned, his brow creasing in pained frustration.

"God, I love this tiny little bikini."

He turned, walking us deeper into the ocean as he kissed the skin above my breasts. I let my head fall back as I sighed with pleasure. Careful not to attract too much attention, he waded deeper until just our shoulders were visible. 

Matty cupped the back of my head, pulling me back towards his face where he pressed his forehead against mine. 

"Do you have any sinful thoughts you'd like to confess?" I whispered, my voice laced with lust as his chocolate eyes bore into mine, making me want him even more.

I felt Matty nod against my forehead as his fingers pulled on the side of my bikini, letting it fall open under the water.

"Too many..." he said, his eyes lowering to my mouth before taking my bottom lip between his teeth. I groaned with pleasure.

"I'd like to worship you right now if I could," he whispered, reaching his hand to my front and gliding his hand over my clit, then pressing his finger up against my entrance. I reached my arms around to grip his hard back, digging my nails into his skin in anticipation. Our lips gravitated toward each other and we kissed each other hungrily. I found myself pressing myself into his palm, desperate for more as the ball of desire in my chest expanded, crushing my lungs as it tried to burst through my chest.

Matty pulled his face back to look at me in fascination, his eyes drooping with his own lust as he watched me grind against his hand. His brow furrowed at the moan that escaped my lips, turned on by my desperation. He wrapped his other hand around the back of my neck, careful to look casual, but subtly tightened his grip as he watched me. It drove me wild. His eyes travelled up and down, taking me in as his mouth hung open, slack with desire. The way he watched me only turned me on more.

"Please fuck me, Matty," I panted desperately as I ground against him.

He slowly shook his head almost imperceivably, his face remaining neutral as he continued to look back and forth between my eyes. He didn't speak soon enough.

"Finger me?"

He shook his head slightly again, his eyes travelling all over my face, watching my expressions intently.

"Fuck, spit in my mouth?" I didn't even wait for him to shake his head again before I continued hopelessly, "Something? Please, Matty. Anything," I begged, moving my hands to his chest, and digging my nails in once again. He groaned at this, then with what looked like a great effort, he pulled his hands away, placing them both on my lower back.

"I'd love to do all those things and more, but I don't want you to get a UTI or some other infection, darling," he said, a look of controlled pain on his face. 

I believed him, and I was touched that he cared enough to have the forethought, but none of it made me any less frustrated. I groaned into his shoulder, sexually frustrated and overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness.

"I'm sorry for being a naughty boy," he whispered in my ear as he walked us back to shallower water where my feet could reach the ground, kissing me gently on the cheek. "I'll restrain myself," he said sweetly to me before placing me back down on the ocean floor and taking the strings of my bikini in his hands and tying it back up snugly.

He took my hand in his as I leaned into his body.

"I know it shouldn't be new to me at this point, but you really do get a lot of sick pleasure from teasing me and leaving me dry, don't you," I grumbled to Matty as we waded towards the shore slowly.

"Well, I'd argue I'm doing the opposite- I think I'm leaving you quite wet, aren't I?" Matty answered smartly with a cheeky grin.

I couldn't help but laugh, shoving him gently in annoyance. He laughed too, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we strode to the right, walking along the edge of the ocean as the waves lapped at our ankles.

"I am sorry, though, darling. I just can't seem to help myself around you sometimes," Matty apologized sincerely. "I'll stop if you'd like," he said, his eyes turning to look at me earnestly.

I looked down at our feet which splashed in the water.

"Well, I didn't say I didn't like it..." I mumbled quietly. I looked up at Matty with a little half-smile and he beamed back at me, reaching swiftly down to lift my legs, swooping me up to cradle me and spinning me around as we both giggled.

"Come, let me make it up to you," Matty said after we kissed, walking us back towards where we left our belongings on the daybeds. "I know a sacred place where I can confess every single sinful thought I have of you," he whispered to me with a seductive smile, "and then you can tell me how best to repent."

[zeroducks-2]

Zero, pls give me the strength to write a filth ass sladick fic. I’ve got the brain worms for one specific abo fic, and I stg, it’s all I can think about rn 😭 do u have any advice for me?? Writing? Motivation? Characterization? 🥺🙏

Of course!

Now I'm of the opinion that writing advice, ALL the writing advice you find online with no exception whatsoever, is totally useless. "Think of the characters this way!", "structure the plot that way!", "motivate yourself going by percentages!" etc - it's not that it's bad pieces of advice, in fact, they're all great suggestions. The issue with them is that creating a story has some technical aspects, but writing is unique to every person.

One of the billion writing advice floating around might be great for you, or maybe all of them work, but maybe not at single one is even vaguely useful, because how you approach writing is strictly personal so if they work on you or not is completely hit and miss.

Therefore what I can tell you is how I work, and maybe you'll find some compatible aspects and it can help you :)

Long post ahead!

Writing & Motivation:

MOST IMPORTANT. Talk about this with someone. DM your beloved mutual, hit your bestie up on discord, annoy me on anon, do whatever you need to talk about this fic. Talk about the plot, how the characters are supposed to be like, what should happen, what world building is in place, how the sex should pan out. "But people will be annoyed!" NO WE WON'T, I PROMISE. I love hearing people's ideas on their next fic, AU, revolutionary plot bunny. I love all of them and I'm not the only one. Talk to us about your fic!

Don't pick a specific time or moment of the day to start writing. You have 20 minutes and then your cousin will be there? It's alright, throw down 30 words in those minutes. You have two hours and you're afraid you'll get in too deep before the dentist appointment? I KNOW IT HURTS but when you're back from the dentist you might be tired, in pain, not motivated anymore. Write when you feel the itch, even on a leaflet with a permanent marker (I normally use my phone's notes if I have no choice). Don't wait for the right moment, the right moment can be any time you want it to be!

Don't plan a shitton of chapters. Plan just one, write that one. "But it's 1k and there isn't even smut!" It's still better than no chapter at all with 0k words isn't it? Write that scene, no matter how short it is. Once it's done admire it, look how beautiful it is. You want to write more now? Great, go ahead! You don't feel like going on with this? It might be time to share your little thing with someone on AO3, on tumblr or IRL! And if writing just that one little chapter satisfied you, that also is okay! Oh wait, you only know what to write for your sex scene, no context? Write that sex scene, the context is right there in your head. If you'll also want to write the context that's fantastic, but start by writing that scene you want to write, don't stress because you need to "get to it". Don't punish yourself with "I can write what I want to write only after 20k words of introduction", that's the perfect recipe to make you drop the fic.

Characterization

Don't be afraid that the characters might be OOC. I promise you no one cares, and the people who care won't click on an ABO fic which maybe is also a Feudal Japan AU with aliens. What matters is the impression of the characters. I'm writing one of the sections of my Omegaverse Royal AU at the moment, and I decided to make it Eobarry! But I have no idea how to write Eobard, he is a real challenge to me - I have an Eobard expert friend who gives me some advice, but still. He's a complex character with a rich history and there isn't much I can do to keep him IC, but the thing is... if I don't write this, there's simply going to be less Eobarry fics to go around. Better if there's one more, even if it's not up to whatever imaginary standard I set with myself, than one less.

Don't be afraid to make the characters act a certain way because it's convenient. This is the exact opposite advice I give when people are writing non-transformative work: When you're writing a story, once you decide that a character is afraid of spiders you need to stick with it and make them afraid of spiders forever, they can't be afraid of spiders only for 1 scene. This does not count for fanfictions. Fanfictions exist for us to have fun, be horny, feel a whole lot of emotions and fulfill the desire to chew on our blorbos like they were squeaky toys. So you want Dick to be afraid of spiders in this fic? It never happened in canon...? Who gives a shit, he is now afraid of spiders. You want to make Slade very good at playing marbles? Cool, he is now a champion marble player for your fic and your fic only. And it doesn't matter if the characters are not consistent and "fall in love too quickly", or if "the sex is not realistic", or if "they should get pregnant like this", or if "there's no way they'd be alright with this situation". None of this crap, nobody gives a damn. You're writing to have fun, not to win a literary prize.

You might write A LOT and then realize you are absolutely unsatisfied with how the story went, because a character did something which set them on a course that you ended up not liking. It's fine! Go back to where the choice was taken and split the fic! Coincidentally, it's something I am doing with my Omegaverse Royal AU (the Sladick part) because I decided I wanted it darker :)

And remember, it's okay to be inspired by other fics. If you take something precisely off another fic you might want to ask permission because it's the polite thing to do, but if for example you find that you write Alpha Slade with a scar on his mating gland because you read that in my fic, that's totally okay! We continuously get inspired by each other, and my beloved writer friends know that I take inspiration from their things! (indeed my Omegaverse Royal AU, because apparently it's the perfect example for everything today, was inspired by the amazing works of anawrites and TheSubtextIs, with their Conflict Resolution and Conquered by Love).

Reach out if you need help, or if you want more specific advice that might be 100% useless! Cheers :D

[thestonedvampire]

Snakeskin

Summary:

A Frankenstein retelling; Birdie is the first successful experiment of reanimation as far as both her and the rest of the world know of. Though, after appearing on a late night TV show, her world begins to change.

It was nearly eight years since the news that left the world agast.

Successful Reanimation.

That faithful year had many clawing to find reasoning behind its success; both scientists and clerics found a mutual ground from it all. Whatever it was, it couldn't be replicated, nor should it be.

"Ma, seriously I don't want to deal with another interview," The emerald green couch nearly blended in with her dress as someone did her makeup. "This is the fifth one this month."

"Birdie, after tonight Carter and I will take you to Spaghetti warehouse." Eliza soothed as she toyed with her now graying hair in the mirror.

"...And we'll take a break for awhile.." Birdie quipped, a name her creator mother had used since that frigid January night. As they sat finishing up for the interview in a mutual agreement.

The stage is bright as Birdie sat watching the TV backstage, the green room snacks helping her stage fright while she mindlessly listen in so she knows her cue. She had almost half an hour until she takes her spotlight.

"Tonight we have a special guest unlike anyone yet. Put your hands together for Dr. Elizabeth Clerval and Dr Carter McCasey." The host greeted the audience, hesitant applause greeting the studious couple. The normal welcome of the host breaks the tension.

"So, someone tell me you two have the answer to life," gasps from the audience as the hosts smile gleams.

Birdie chortled in the lonesome room, this was the debut to the mainstream world. Despite the articles made about her existence it was still a debate if it was an actual story or some clickbait story.

"Yes and no," Elizabeth laughed out, causing more gasps from the audience

"I certainly can say I found an answer." She elaborates, despite noticing the hesitantance on this hosts face. This definitely not some lecture hall.

A few minutes pass with questions both from the host and crowd, many sharing doubts; 'Isn't this that story that pops up on my moms Facebook?' Was common ground for most, as Birdie waited in the wings. Now ignoring the slight stares of the stage crew.

"Ehm... so you say you have your.." the host Choked on his words as their eyes met.

"Well sir, I'd consider her my child." Eliza spoke her voice like silk as she stood. "This is my Birdie girl."

There before the live audience walked onto the stage. Skin tones of ivory, olive and rich copper quilted together all while wrapped in a lush green dress. Hushed tones of the crowd as they glided across the stage. Sitting beside her mother.

"Well.. Hi Birdie." The Host muttered out as he tries to focus his eyes somewhere on her. Her eyes were just off , just ever too saturated and to bright. "So you claim to be the living dead girl..."

The air was tight as many awaited an answer.

"I-I mean uhm," Her words failed her, most lectures didn't have her talking much outside of proving she was alive and could have complex thoughts. "I mean... it's more like girls, like I'm not just like one person I guess?"

A few coughs to break the silence as acknowledging that fact was probably definitely taboo.

They cut to commercial, and the host goes to calm down after realizing the truth in the matter, assuming this was some gag or bit. As she combed through the pitch and blonde hair that curled around her face.

This was a mess.

On the other side of the country, the chaos of the television was cut to some cheap commercial. A kick to the old box came with a huff as its owner now paced the empty room. The heavy footsteps harmonious with the generator whirls. Adam's mind stirred, 'How after over a century could this occur once again?' He paused, looking back at the TV. There is nothing in this world he'd rather than maybe have a companion that was technically his own kind.

[freyachristeam]

Diantha and Synchronization.

Chris here again.

For those who don't know, we've spent the last several months in Unova competing in this year's World Coronation Series and have recently reached the top 50 after defeating Celica Swann a few days ago.

I had no expectation to get this far, but now that we have got there, the next milestone is a huge one. This part of WCS is basically a classic e4 challenge. Out of our 5 scheduled Ultra Rank placement matches for the near future (not including exhibitions or challenges from lower ranks which we get a lot more of), we've completed and won 2. If we win 2 more, then the 6th will be none other than current Kalos Champion Diantha.

It won't be our first run in with a champion, in the Sinnoh league we've had the opportunity to test our skills against our own champion Cynthia seven times.

However of those seven battles, six of them we got absolutely destroyed, and the seventh we only drew because Cynthia got maybe 4 hours of sleep the previous night and was in a huge slump. Its why, while we're technically hall of famers, I don't really consider it earned, we got in on a technicality.

One thing we've learned from those encounters is that it requires far more thought about how to answer each threat a champion's team presents. Diantha's team in particular is extremely well balanced and adaptable. I'm working on prep for each member but for sake of brevity here I'm going to let Freya talk about who is overwhelmingly the most dangerous threat:

------------------------

Meet Giselle (Right obviously).

She is the Gardevoir who works as Diantha's ace, and in Ralts communities around the world she's become a very distinct celebrity of her own (although in a way more similar to Cynthia then to her trainer ;>). Throughout her career, Giselle has built up a reputation as being among the best fighters in our species recorded history, and she has pioneered a lot of tactics which have become standard. For example: I use a lot of short ranged teleport spam, which doesn't use the move and therefore doesn't require a slot. Well, she's the one who brought that tactic into the mainstream.

Her style also makes use of a lot of telekinesis, especially using it on herself to levitate above the ground and gain some pretty insane mobility. Offensively, she tends to forgo setup and complexity in favor of all out aggression and power with a wide variety of projectile options, alongside the classic psychic/moonblast combo, her gotos are shadow ball and thunderbolt, which work as a mixup and area denial option respectively.

TL;DR she's a complete beast ;>

Alright back to Chris

-----------------

As a trainer, the pair of them also have another advantage, that being that Diantha, while she often tries to keep this secret, has some very minor psychic abilities, which allows the two of them to, in a very limited capacity exchange commands telepathically.

Even that small amount however provides a massive advantage in coordination, one of our biggest recent losses was against a psychic trainer who was able to communicate with her ace exclusively through telepathy due to that advantage.

Trying to replicate a similar effect on our end is the biggest way we can even the odds, however because I'm not psychic and we haven't really looked into this before so far there's been no luck.

However we might be able to make some progress soon, as I was able to order one of the Synchro Machines being worked on by the blueberry academy faculty of engineering, which claims to be able to enable telepathic communication and even sense sharing between even non psychic humans and their pokemon.

Will update here and on chatter about the results of that, hopefully we'll be able to apply some of things that happen with that.

[boyakishantriage]

"Y'know what? I really. Fucking hate. Bureaucracy."

The terran sat on a chair, on top of the table, which was glued to the roof. Technically the floor, as they were in a space ship. Because everyone kept shouting like children when they were on the planet.

"It's not neutral land"

"I have to move so far from home"

Fucking bullshit. These were PhD holding alien folk who couldn't get their shit together. Like fucking high schoolers with superiority complexes have more maturity and organisation than these professionals.

"Alright. Fucking. Uhhh. Lisp, whatever. Fucking. U good? Didn't lose your fucking pants on the way up to my stupid ship that I had to park over your stupid planet because you lot can't organise yourselves and fucking... Whatever. Uhhhh. Passionfruit. You, got you. Fucking. Whatever. Go."

The Terran appeared hungover, grasping a bottle as she leaned on the table. The Terran organisation UEN had sent a single human to diffuse the situation. Something remarkable considering it'd taken teams of experts to stop both parties from inciting a civil war. Somehow pettier than humans. Something that shall be omitted from every record humans will record. For obvious reasons.

And the hearing began, as it did when I started. Fucking silence. Awkward, before it on charge.

"Alright. Shut the fuck up Oliver, I don't give two fucks if you think me fucking swearing is a highly offensive thing. It's the only thing that appears to keep these two moronic groups to listen and know I'm sick of both of their shit."

She stood up, clicking a button on the remote.

"Alright. Basic shit for you dumbasses who forgot. This is the planet. Orion, y'all are Onions and you lot want. Fucking whatever. And you guys want. Whatever. Marmalade. What's the situation on your end?"

"We work, high effort jobs, for twelve hours, for the equivalent of a quarter of the standard meal. Now-"

"Shut. Uhhh. Mr Lovetap. Any objections, corrections. Whatever."

"Nothing. That's about right."

The purple skinned alien sat with a more professional stance, body kept straight and casually formal. Whereas the other purple alien, a butch of a lady, she sat with a worker's aura, ready to get the shit over and done with.

"alright. Ramen, what the fuck do you want in minimum?"

"... Minimum?"

"what is the absolute minimum you can agree with?"

"... Uhm."

I looked at the woman, giving a moment as she thought through.

"ok. Think in general terms, what's the more important things?"

"... Better pay, discussion of work, ability to bargain and..."

"and I'm gonna cut you here. Namen, this is Oliver Green, he's friends with a bunch of union leaders as is I. Now the only good thing about him, is he's a hippie-"

"I'm not-"

She continued ignoring his objection.

"and he's got plenty of time to discuss with you. Mr Lovetap, same thing. And also. Any objections or whatever."

"... Uhm, well-"

"either bring up a counter point or something to say about her request, or shut the fuck up."

"Ah, well you see. We're not legally required to-"

"right. Mr Lovesta, meet Yemo. Yemo, Mr Lovesta. Yemo here is a government representative I dragged here with their government's permission, I'm sorry I had to drag you out the service. Sorry for your loss, I don't care. Yemo, you've met Oliver. You two can work together to make this shit work out. Or don't. I don't care. Now."

The purple alien, dressed in a funeral toga appeared flustered at the decisiveness of the Terran as she reached below the table. Sliding cases to the leaders

" Here's a bunch of USBs, solar powered video things. They're basically indestructible and in thode bright blue cases. Important colour, I know, congratulations. There's instruction booklets in your local, human and every language I could bother the translator to do, paper booklets in your local and english. Do I need to step you through how to do this. Or are all of you Yuva level professionals able to understand how to be big Bugas and discuss, talk. Not be little Wargos and let me fucking go home?"

The Terran glared at the small gathering, a camera recording the entire scene as the Onions looked at each other, the other Terran, government delegate. And then the Terran.

"... Thanks?"

"shut the fuck up. I'm not going to magically fix your problems, because then I'm gonna have to come back. You teach the next generation of people this kind of thing, tell them and teach them how to talk to each other so I don't have to come back here every five years when you two get into petty arguments. We good?"

Oliver raised his hand.

"also, I'm gonna be like. In the asteroid field, and like-"

"shhhhh. Everyone. Let's have lunch, I'm then gonna ditch y'all. And go home. Are we clear?"

A pause, before the Onions and human all nodded.

"great. You. Yemen, tell the coalition the Terran's basically solved the issue, now y'all can wait here and talk. Or come with me to cook."

The human bashed her head against the table. Loudly, raising it, she looked at the delegate.

"y'all have been doing back and forth for. THREE. MOTHERFUCKING. HOURS. So let me streamline this."

She clapped her hands at a random person.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I- How dare-"

"Shut the fuck up. Shhhh. Shut the fuck up. Who the fuck are you."

"... Lovesta."

"great. Amazing. Why the fuck are you important?"

"... Do you even-"

"shhh. Shut the fuck up. Shhhh. Shut up. Why. The fuck. Are you. Important?"

"... Because I am the delegate for-"

"shhhh. Shut. Explain. Simple words."

"... I own a massive company."

"great. See how hard that was. You and to use two brain cells. Now. What the fuck do you want?"

"... I would like the workers to work."

"great. Amazing sweetheart. Now you."

"who the fuck are you?"

"... Namen."

"why the fuck are you important?"

"I am the leader for the workers."

"what the fuck do you want?"

"I would like the workers to have good pay and not be insured."

"ok. Now. What's the problem here."

"..."

"anyone. Literally anyone. I would like someone to explain. To me. What the fuck. Is the problem here."

A good pause, as people tried to bring something up. Then quiet down.

"nobody? Nothing? Ok, here. You. Rãmen. What do you mean by good pay."

"... I dont-"

"ok. So. This is a meal. It's got some grains, vegetables and a bit of meat. How much is this?"

"... Twelve Wits."

"how much are you paid."

"... Three."

"how much do you work."

"a day."

"how difficult?"

"... Very?"

"ok. So, you get paid. A quarter of a single meal. You. Love tap. Describe the working conditions."

"... A clean space where they do their job?"

"ramen?"

"a mush hall."

"ok. So. Both of you, define what you want. Specifically. How much do you get paid, how much is a meal. Describe how you work. What you do. How long. You. You get a list of reasons for things that they may want ok?"

Both looked at each other.

"and why would I do that?"

"because, you've been going back and forth. FOR FOUR HOURS. I've managed to streamline, highlight and organise you both into writing down basic parameters. Now go do that."

[hishotsluttywife]

“not my story”

My wife, Meghan, and I were in our early 20's when we went to spend the week at her father's condo on the big island of Hawaii. We had been happily married for a couple of years and were enjoying the time before kids started to arrive. It was December, but the weather was warm and beautiful there. We found that there was a large hot tub a couple of blocks down that was still part of the condo complex. So we decided to take advantage of that after dark one night.

My wife was a beautiful petite young woman. She was a former Catholic schoolgirl with all the innocence that implies. But when we began to be physically intimate, I think we were both surprised by the raging passion and desire that she had. She was insatiable, and I enjoyed every minute of it. She was also willing to try just about anything.

She was about 5'4" and weighed 120 pounds. What attracted me to her the most were her dazzling green eyes and the masses of dark curls that poured down over her shoulders. Since she was petite, she only had 34B breasts, but they were firm and perky and I just loved to suck on her deliciously hard nipples that would point straight out when aroused.

That night, we changed into our swimming suits and walked down to the hot tub. Meghan was wearing the string bikini that I'd bought her. It was colored like the American flag and snuggled tightly against her hot ass and pussy. The top was just a couple of triangles that held her tits perfectly.

We relaxed in the hot tub and just talked for a half hour or so. It was a beautiful night and the water was just the right temperature so that we could stay in it as long as we liked. Being who we were, it wasn't long before our hands began to roam over each other. As always, she had me hard in less than a minute and was rubbing her hand along my shaft in my swimming suit.

"Since we're alone and no one else can see us," I asked, "how about if I take my suit off and you can keep doing that?"

"Ooooh, what's the matter, do you want me to make you cum out here in public?" Meghan teased. "Is your hard cock wanting me to touch it?"

"Always!"

I lifted my butt off the seat, and she quickly shucked my swimming suit down my legs and off of me, setting them on the side of the hot tub next to us.

I would have loved for us both to be naked, but it was outside in technically a public place (although there was no one around), and Meghan's inhibitions weren't quite ready for the possibility of being caught. But that was okay. First she straddled me, facing away, and began to rub her ass along my cock. That was just exquisite torture.

Then she turned around and straddled my legs and grabbed my cock in her soft right hand. I was now looking right into her gorgeous green eyes that were sparkling and she gave her secret little smile that she only gave to me. Slowly, oh so slowly, she began to pull up and down on my shaft. I could tell that this was really getting her hot as well as her nipples were poking out at the material of her bikini top. They really wanted to be sucked on, even though the mind behind them was still playing it safe.

This only continued for a minute or so before we suddenly heard the rattle of the fence gate. Meghan's eyes went wide and I whipped my head around to see that two other young guys had just entered the area and were heading our way. They were also in swimming trunks and it was obvious that they were planning to join us in the hot tub.

Quickly, and as inconspicuously as she could, Meghan slid off my lap and sat next to me instead. She then ducked down to immerse her breasts under the bubbly water to try to hide her pointy nipples. Meanwhile, I was trying to grab my swimming trunks and get them back on under the water. My feet kept getting tangled up in the mesh lining and the water jets kept pushing them up to the surface so that I couldn't get my legs in.

By this time, they had arrived, and I surreptitiously just held them over my crotch. Because of the bubbles, you couldn't see anything clearly under the water anyway.

"Hi, do you mind if we join you?", the taller guy asked.

"Not at all," Meghan and I both parroted.

It was unclear if they had any suspicions of what they had interrupted, but they pretended to have not noticed anything to avoid embarrassing us. They put their towels aside and then slid into the hot tub with some groans of appreciation.

We all introduce ourselves and started to get acquainted. Again, the taller guy spoke first.

"Hi. My name is Nicholas and this is my partner, Jose." Suddenly, you could see on his face that he had just realized what he had said. "Oh wait, that's not the way it sounds. We're just work partners. We work construction together." We all had a good laugh about that.

Nicholas and Jose definitely looked the part. Both were well-muscled and had amazing tans. Meghan and I were definitely on the paler side as we didn't spend a whole lot of time outdoors in Boston, Massachusetts, where we were living at the time. They both had rugged good looks and were very easy going. Jose was Mexican and a bit on the short side. About the same height as Meghan. But he had very broad shoulders and some piercing brown eyes. He didn't speak much, but his English was flawless with only a hint of an accent. He was just a quieter guy. Both were around our age.

We all got along very well and spent a half hour or so swapping stories about our lives. As both of them were single, they were curious about our married life. We then moved on to their love lives. Nicholas had recently been dumped by his girlfriend who had met another guy (who had a lot more money, according to Nicholas). And Jose had never been in a serious relationship.

I could tell that both were checking Meghan out, and of course, I couldn't blame them. A beautiful young girl in a bikini in the hot tub with you...well, a guy's going to start wondering what was under the surface of the water.

I think Meghan noticed as well and was enjoying the attention. She subtly reached over and drifted her fingertips up and down my cock. Well, I figured that turnabout is fair play. My hand wandered over to her under the water and I slowly began caressing her tight stomach and then lower to caress her puffy pussy lips through her swimming suit. After a minute or so, I noticed that she began to squirm a little with her legs.

"I've got to admit," Nicholas stated, "I'm quite jealous of you guys. You're obviously very much in love and I wish that I could find someone like you Meghan. Someone I couldn't keep my hands off. Just like you two were before we showed up." And he gave a devilish grin.

"Oh....so you did notice what was going on, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry man. But I didn't know how we could turn around gracefully, so I thought it'd be best to just keep coming over."

"Well, that's okay," Meghan threw in, "he can wait a bit."

"I can?" I joked with her.

"Don't let us interrupt at all. Please continue. We won't mind," Nicholas said with a wicked grin.

At this point, I was rock hard due to Meghan's ministrations and I could tell from how flushed she was from the situation and my fingers that she had gotten all hot and bothered as well.

I thought I'd take a chance and leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"You know, there are plenty of bubbles in this hot tub so no-one can see anything below the water. How about we just block them out, and pretend they're not here? Why don't you take your bikini bottom off and fuck me?"

Meghan took a quick intake of breath but I was shocked to see that she was considering it. After a few seconds, she bit her lower lip and nodded her head yes.

Thankfully, Nicholas and Jose played it smart and didn't say a word. They were going to pretend to just be non-existent in order to see how this might play out.

Meghan may have been excited at what she had decided to do, but that didn't mean she wasn't still self-conscious. Without looking at either of our audience members, she quickly dropped both hands under the water, lifted up her butt, and pulled off her bikini bottoms. Making sure to keep the water up to her waist, she then turned around and waded in front of me. She then handed her bikini bottom to me above the water so that everyone knew she was now exposed below.

Before she could change her mind, she looked me straight in the eyes, grabbed my aching cock, and then stepped forward and inserted it into her hot, wet pussy. She was now kneeling on the bench that I was sitting on and began slowly gyrating up and down on my cock. It was so amazing. Her pussy was so unbelievably tight. We kept eye contact and it really was like we were all alone in the world.

Meghan began to speed up and her breathing quickened. She began to moan as well but I could tell she was trying to keep quiet as much as she could. Suddenly, it was too much for her and I felt her pussy clench down on me. She leaned forward and clamped her mouth down on my shoulder to stifle her scream. I'm not sure I've ever seen her cum so hard and so fast before.

After ten seconds or so to recover, she lunged forward again and passionately kissed me, thrusting her tongue inside my mouth with a hunger I'd rarely experienced. She broke the kiss and then speaking so that everyone could hear her, she asked, "Do you want to cum inside me baby?"

"Oh God, yes!" Like there was any other response.

But then she surprised me by backing off and pulling off of my cock. I was so disappointed. But she had a mischievous grin on her face. Again, making sure to keep her waist below the waterline, she turned around again and then backed up, reached back between her legs and inserted my cock back inside her.

I was shocked. Now, she was facing Nick and Jose as she began riding my cock again. She was staring right at them. I could now see them as well and it was very apparent how much they were entranced by her. She could see the lust in their eyes. The desire that she had generated in them. She found the power she had over them irresistible. She began moaning again and then lifted up her hands and began to massage her breasts in their tiny top. She rubbed them up and down and then squeezed them in her palm. Her nipples were trying to poke a hole through the material, and she gently pinched them with her fingers. She was really putting on a show.

Then, figuring in for a penny, in for a pound, she pulled the material of her bikini top down below them so that her tits were completely exposed now. They jiggled in the beautiful amazing way that only breasts do as she kept fucking me. I figured there was no point anymore so I quickly untied her top and flung it off to the side. Then, I reached around her and cupped her breasts in my hand. All the while, Meghan was continuing to keep eye contact with Nick and Jose.

"Fuck me, my love! Yes, fuck my tight little pussy! I need that so bad!"

Suddenly, I just couldn't take it any longer. I felt a huge rush boil up from my balls and I exploded inside her with a primal growl. The feeling of her husband cumming inside her while two other men watched pushed Meghan over the edge as well and she continued bouncing up and down as she orgasmed in a huge rush.

She then collapsed back against me while we tried to catch our breaths.

"Wow, that was so amazingly hot, honey." I let her know.

"Was it, baby? I was afraid that you might be jealous having some other guys see me naked."

"Actually....I love showing you off! All of you. I know you love me and it is such a turn-on for me to share how incredibly hot my wife is. And anything that turns you on and makes you feel good - well, I will always want you to have it."

"Oh really?" she giggled. "You think so, huh? Should we test that statement? I think our performance has cause some discomfort for Nick and Jose. Should I go over and see?"

Now, I was completely floored. I could tell that she was teasing me and trying to call my bluff. But I was so overcome with endorphins and love for her that I couldn't wait to see what she might try next.

"Baby, you do whatever you'd like to do. I'll let you know if I get uncomfortable with anything."

I could see that she still didn't believe me and was going to keep pushing it until I gave in and stopped her. Meghan swiveled around, grabbed my face between her hands, and then kissed me deeply. She whispered "I love you" and then turned back around to the other guys. She began to wade toward them with the water up to her neck.

"Hey boys, do you mind if I join you?"

At this point, Nick and Jose were just sitting there with their jaws hanging open. Meghan waded right up between them and sat herself down so that she was now hip-to-hip with them, completely naked under the water. Strangely, neither seemed to raise any objections.

"Well now, this doesn't seem quite fair, " Meghan pouted, "a poor little innocent girl is the only one over here naked. I guess I'll have to go back over to my husband if there's nothing to grab onto over here."

In a split second, both Nick and Jose had lifted up their butts and suddenly there were two more swimsuits flung onto the concrete surrounding the hot tub. Neither could take their eyes off Meghan, but you could tell that they were determined to behave themselves and just see where she would take this.

Meghan then looked straight into my eyes, and with a small little smile, reached out with both hands into their laps. She gasped a little as she found what she had been looking for, and then I could tell from the movement of her upper arms that she was slowing stroking both of them up and down.

Both Nick and Jose's eyes rolled up and they groaned.

"How about now, hubby? You still doing okay over there? Are you aware that your young wife now has two iron-hard cocks in her hands? Are you enjoying this as much as I am?"

"I am, my love." I answered. I thought I would up the ante a bit and see if she was ready for the next step. "But now I am feeling bad for Nick and Jose. You are enjoying yourself with your hands, but they have nothing to do with theirs."

"Oh, you're right. How very rude of me. Let's see if there's anyplace they'd like to touch."

And with that, she let go of them, and slowly started to stand up in the hot tub. At first, her breasts emerged from the water. Glistening and with nipples standing straight out at attention, water rolling down and dripping off from them. When they came out of the water, they were only about a foot away from the guys' faces and you could see the internal struggle they had to not instinctively shoot forward with their mouths to suck on them.

But she kept standing. The hot tub wasn't all that deep so that when she was finally up, the water only came up to mid-thigh. Her rounded hips popped out and then I found myself staring at her bare pussy exposed to the world. I had certainly seen it many times, but this was special. She knew how much I loved the outer lips of her pussy, so she always keep them well shaved, with just a patch of pubic hair above. I could tell from the rosy color of her labia that she was incredibly aroused right now.

The guys were in shock, but suddenly they both swiveled to me and I could see the silent question on their faces. I smiled and gave them the briefest nod. They had now been unleashed. I knew they must be incredibly horny after all this, so I kept a close eye to make sure that nothing happened that Meghan was uncomfortable with.

Nick was to her right and he immediately reached up and began caressing her right breast with one hand while running his other hand down her side, over her hips, and then back up the inside of her thigh.

Jose seemed to be fascinated with Meghan's ass and was cupping it and squeezing it with his right hand as he explored her left breast with his other.

Suddenly Meghan had hands all over her body, rubbing her everywhere. They weren't pawing at her, but were systematically touching her all over and the sensation was overwhelming. Then, I saw Nick's hand raise higher and he pressed his index finger up between the cleft in her labia. Meghan gasped and grabbed his head for balance. He slowly began to rub back and forth and Meghan closed her eyes in ecstasy. Meanwhile, Jose was nibbling and kissing her soft round buttocks and down onto the back of her thighs.

Now Meghan grabbed Jose's head with her other arm and pulled both of their heads into her body and guided their mouths onto her aching tits. Now she was being stimulated all over and it was a heady experience. She seemed lost in all the sensations. Jose slipped his hand underneath her and easily inserted his forefinger into her pussy. She was incredibly wet between her own lubrication and my hot semen still inside her. He inserted a second finger inside her.

Nick began rubbing circles around her clit with his thumb. She seemed pinned to both their hands and they wildly sucked and nibbled on her nipples. Nick's hand was now faster and faster on her clit and Jose was fingering her G-spot at the same time. Then suddenly Meghan let out a howl like I'd never heard before. Her whole body convulsed as she gave in to the ecstasy that these men were focusing on her. Then, she could stand no longer and collapsed back onto the seat in the hot tub, panting.

Jose and Nick both knew better than to continue their ministrations and had withdrawn their hands off of her, but began kissing her neck and shoulders from both sides as her chest heaved and she slowly began to come down.

Suddenly, her eyes opened wide and she looked right at me.

"Oh my God, I never meant to go that far. Was that okay? I just completely lost myself in everything."

I held out my hand for her to take and pulled her back over to my side so that she was sitting on my lap sideways.

"Baby, that was the hottest thing I've ever seen," I said with a smile. "I was enraptured with just seeing the pleasure on your face."

"Are you sure?" I could tell that she was a bit worried.

"What do you think?" I said as I guided her hand to my throbbing cock.

Reassured now, she seemed to switch to being playful. She gently began stroking the tip of my cock with just her fingertips.

"But hubby, those men were touching my poor innocent body everywhere. Their fingers were inside my cunt, and it felt sooo GOOD. You watched them touching your wife and it made you so hard. What does that say about you?"

"I guess it says that I am the luckiest man on the planet. What do you guys think?"

"Oh man, you are so incredibly lucky! Your wife is so fucking hot!", Nick answered.

"She is amazing. Her ass is so beautiful, I could kiss it all night long." Jose added.

I wanted to see if she was ready to continue playing along now that she'd had a few minutes to recover. "Do you hear that sweetie? I think these guys have been so nice to you, don't you think they deserve some sort of reward?"

She gave me a big shit-eating grin and thrust her tongue in my mouth for a passionate kiss and then once again, drifted off to the other side of the tub, once again sitting on the shelf between Nick and Jose.

She turned to Nick first. "Nick, I want to thank you for making me cum. Stand up and I'll suck your cock for you."

Nick was ready to do just about anything at this point for some relief. He stood up quickly and his erect cock was suddenly jutting out, pointing straight at Meghan's face. It was about 7" long, about the same size as mine, but much thicker around. The head looked like a plumb.

A look of hunger crossed her face and she grabbed it immediately. She began to lick up his shaft like she was licking a lollipop and then glanced over at me as she pursed her lips and wrapped them around the head of his member. Nick was loving this as she began bobbing her head and going down his thick cock as far as she could. She'd never been able to deep throat, but she made up for that with enthusiasm. I could see her tongue swirling around his cock inside her mouth Suddenly Jose decided he needed to get involved as well and also stood up. Meghan saw the motion out of the corner of her eyes and popped Nick's cock out of her mouth with a slurping sound and turned to find Jose also had a little friend trying to get her attention. Except, he was not "little" in the least. His cock was probably about 8 and a half inches, although not nearly as thick. Meghan's eyes went wide and she grabbed him as well. She now had a cock in both hands and began going back and forth, sticking each one in her mouth in turn, as she pumped them both. She seemed determined to get these guys to come for her and validate her cock-sucking skills. At the same time, she snaked her hands down between their legs and stroked their balls that looked so very heavy with cum.

I noticed that Nick wasn't going to last much longer though. He began to moan and growl out, "That's it, suck my cock! Oh, you're such a dirty slutl! I'm going to cum in your mouth and you're going to swallow it all. Here I come! Oh GOD!!!"

Meghan had let go of Jose's cock and was now solely focused on jacking Nick into her mouth. I saw his balls clench up against his body and then suddenly, the underside of his cock began throbbing as load after load of cum began shooting into my wife's mouth. She kept her head on it through the whole process and I could see her swallowing as she pumped out the last remaining spurts onto her tongue.

She moaned and smiled up at Nick. But then came the biggest surprise of the night so far. She strode back over to me, grabbed my face, and then thrust her tongue into my mouth once more in one of the most passionate kisses I've ever had. I couldn't help but to respond even though I could taste Nick's cum in her mouth. She seemed to be getting off in sharing it with me, and the fact that it excited her, excited me! I'd never thought the taste of another man's cum could ever be anything but repulsive, but it was the end result of the passion that my wife had produced in him, and I loved it.

She broke away with a gasp and I could see that her eyes were almost gazed over in lust. "Oh my god, that was one of the hottest things e-ver. But baby, I am so hot and horny right now. I need to be fucked again so bad. Please, please, please, would you fuck me?"

There was nothing I would have liked better, but I had seen the look in her eye, and I knew what she really wanted tonight.

"What about Jose, sweetie? He hasn't had a turn yet and I'm sure he'd be willing to help you out."

She looked shocked that I would suggest it, but replied, "Honestly, at this point, I don't care. I just need some hard cock inside me."

"Well, try asking him nicely."

Meghan turned around and seductively began to walk toward Jose, who had sat back down on the hot tub seat. She stood right in front of him and bent over to look him straight in the eye. Her tits were now hanging down and you could see the struggle on his face to keep eye contact.

"Jose, I need your cock. I need to be fucked good and hard. But my husband won't take care of my needs. Would you please fuck my tight pussy? Please, please, please..." she cooed.

"I would like nothing better. I will take good care of you, miss."

Meghan then turned around towards me, stepped forward, and then leaned over next to me so that her forearms were on the edge of the hot tub with her ass stuck out in the air behind her. She wiggled her ass seductively and looked over her shoulder to invite him over. Jose rose up and again we were both a bit awed at the length of his cock. He moved towards her, grabbed her hips and began to position himself.

"Wait!" Meghan interjected. I figured she'd finally found her stopping point and wasn't willing to proceed any further. She looked over at me and said, "I love you for saying that I can do this, but I need to know for sure that you're 100% okay with it. So I need you to initiate it. All I have done is make myself vulnerable. It's your choice as to if you want this man to fuck me. If you mean it, then I want you to place his cock inside me."

Wow. I was floored by this tender moment of absolute trust and that she was giving me the choice. There was never any hesitation. I stood up and wrapped my own hand around Jose's cock. I had never touched another man before, and there was no bisexual thrill or anything, but I was now holding the instrument that was going to give pleasure to my wife. It was so hard and warm and I knew it would soon be sliding into Meghan's moist pussy. That was so exciting.

I said, "I love you babe." And then lined up the head of his cock with her pussy. I rubbed it up and down over her slit to lubricate the head nicely and then gave it a little tug forward and then released as I watched another man's cock slide effortlessly into my wife's body.

She groaned and then said, "Thank you hubby." And then she began rocking forward and back to impale herself on him. Jose was only about three fourths of the way in but I could tell that was all that she was used to. But she was determined to get him all the way in, so she worked at it a quarter inch at a time until he was reaching areas deep inside her that I'd never touched.

Now that he was sure that he wouldn't hurt her, Jose took control and with his hands on her ass and hips, he began to push and pull her up back and forth on his cock. I could see her wetness all along the length of his shaft as he pulled out all the way with only the head still inside her, and then shoved it back in hard and fast so that his balls were smacking up against the back of her thighs.

Meghan was just keening verbally as her pussy was getting a fucking that she'd never forget. After everything else that had happened so far, it didn't take them long to finish. Suddenly, Jose clamped down on her white buttocks with his tanned hands, jerked his head back, and let out a primal scream as he pumped his seed deep inside her. Meghan had reached her climax as well and screamed out an "OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOOOOOOOOOD!"

Jose collapsed backwards and stumbled back to his seat. I could tell that Meghan was shaken with the intensity. I reached forward and caressed her back while kissing her neck and cheek. After a minute, I noticed that she was having difficulty staying upright so I pulled her down into my lap and let her nuzzle with me for a while.

Finally, she opened her eyes and whispered, "That was so intense. Thank you for letting that happen." We kissed again and again. Then she looked at me and said, "You've been such an amazing husband tonight. Would you let me fuck Nick as well? I've always wondered what a really thick cock would feel like. And I am just feeling insatiable right now. Even the thought of a second cock inside me is inflaming me."

"This is your night, my love. I could never deny you that after what we've experienced so far. I want to give you as much ecstasy as possible."

We both looked over at Nick who had been keeping to himself. "Nick, " I began, "would you like to cum inside my wife's pussy? You are making her very wet and I'd love to see you pleasure her."

"Are you kidding?" He replied. "It would be my honor." He stood up and it was very evident that he was ready and raring to go already.

The sight of his thick cock seemed to revive Meghan somewhat but I could tell she was still a bit shaky. "How about you lie down this time, honey? I'll put some towels down on the edge of the hot tub here." She looked at me gratefully and went down on her knees, grabbed Nick's cock, and began to swirl her lips and tongue around it, while I grabbed the towels and setup a spot on the edge of the tub.

Meghan released Nick and I grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her up so that she was sitting on the towels on the side with her legs dangling still into the water. She immediately leaned back to relax a little. Thinking again that Meghan probably wanted me to take charge, I took hold of her knees and gently spread them apart.

Nick and I were now staring directly into her cunt. It had that "freshly-fucked" look and was pink with all her arousal now focused there. There was also a beautiful pearl of Jose's cum dripping down from her pussy. I don't know what overcame me, but it was the most erotic sight I'd ever seen, so I immediately ducked down and licked that cum back up her slit and began to gently worship her pussy. It tasted so good. I've always loved the sweet musky taste and scent of Meghan's aroused pussy, and now it was counterpointed with the slightly salty taste of a man who'd shared in her delights.

Meghan moaned as I kissed her inner core and I could feel an unspoken communication during this moment. I was kissing her pussy to show her how much I still loved her and that nothing she had done had defiled her in any way. And that understanding on her part allowed her to release any further inhibitions because she knew she was in a safe place. She fully believed that her husband not only didn't think any less of her, but actually adored her even more.

I moved off to her left and stretched up to her face. She turned her head towards me and I kissed her deeply. I also had a surprise for her as I pushed Jose's cum into her mouth so that we could share it together. She hungrily shot her tongue into my mouth to seek out as much as she could get.

I then pulled away. "Are you ready, my little wife slut? Do you want Nick to push himself inside you and stretch your tight little pussy?"

Meghan bit her lower lip and I could tell she was a little nervous, but she nodded and then looked over at Nick. "Please be gentle, but I want to experience being split by your nice thick cock." And she spread her legs again to submit her body to him.

Nick stepped forward and rubbed his thick purple head against her slit to lubricate it well. I took Meghan's right hand in my left and then we both watched as he pushed up against her. But he just couldn't quite fit himself inside her tiny cunt. Honestly, I wasn't sure if he'd be able to get it in. But to help in any way I could, I hooked my other hand behind her right knee and pulled her leg up and back. Nick did the same with her left leg. This rotated her hips upward a bit and spread her open as wide as she could get. I was now holding my wife's legs open and offering her to another man.

With the change in angle, Nick was finally able to pop the head of his cock inside her now. Meghan gasped and her eyes went wide. I think Nick had experienced the same with other girls so he knew to just stop and freeze for now to give her time to adjust to his girth.

Meghan's eyes were closed and she was huffing a little bit and just trying to relax. Then she opened her eyes and looked straight at Nick. "Shove it all the way in. I want it all."

Like ripping off a bandaid, Nick saw what she wanted, and thrust his hips forward until his entire cock disappeared inside her. Her hand clamped down on my own and her head bucked forward with her mouth open in a soundless "OOOOOO". Slowly, she began to relax and I began to get some feeling in my hand again.

"Oh my God, baby! He's so BIG! I feel like I am completely filled, and I love it! Nick, I need to be fucked hard! Fuck his little slut wife!"

Nick certainly didn't need any further encouragement and he began pounding in and out of her. I could hear the squishing sounds as he pushed inside and then the slap of his balls on her ass. He was a machine and didn't once slow down or change his rhythm. Meghan turned her head and we locked eyes again while still holding hands. It was one of the most intimate moments we'd ever shared.

Nick suddenly shouted out, "I'm cumming baby! I'm going to fill you with my hot cum! ARGHHH!!!!!!"

At the same time, Meghan's eyes went wide and she arched her back. Knowing that she had made another man cum inside her while I watched was overwhelming and she screamed as her own orgasm crested and her pussy convulsed all around his cock, trying to milk out every single drop.

Nick fell forward and rested his head on her chest and Meghan's legs collapsed back down. Her eyes rolled up a little and she seemed semi-comatose. Nick got his breath back and collapsed back on the seat next to Jose.

I was still in shock but I knew that Meghan and I now needed some time alone to deal with everything. She was still lying limp on the towel bed that I had made, so I turned to the other guys.

"Nick. Jose. I thank you. You have given so much pleasure to my wife and we will never forget you. But we could really use some time alone now." I reached out and shook their hands. They quickly gathered up their swimming trunks and put them back on and asked me to thank Meghan for them as well later, because she was still well out of it. And then they left.

I gathered Meghan in my arms and pulled her back down into the tub to let the jets rub her down a bit. I just held her and rocked her and murmured in her ear how much I loved her and would do anything for her.

Eventually, she came back around and kissed me.

"That was so incredible, honey. I've never felt so stretched and filled before. It was almost an out of body experience. I don't know if I could ever go through that again, but thank you for letting my fulfill that fantasy. You are an amazing husband. And now, I want to do something special for you."

"Oh? You think you're up for it?" I had to admit, watching my wife this evening had left me in an incredibly horny position, but she seemed nearly wiped out so I had resigned myself to just having to masturbate after I put her to bed. And that wasn't going to be difficult at all as I relived the action from earlier in my mind. But maybe things were looking up.

"Well, I've got to admit, I think my pussy is done for tonight. Plus, I'm so stretched out right now, I don't think you'd feel much. But I've now shared my pussy with other men, and I want you to have something of mine that's only for you. I want you to take my anal virginity."

I just continued to stare into her eyes. I certainly wasn't expecting this and she had taken my breath away. "Are you sure, honey? You don't need to feel that you owe me anything. Trust me, I was enjoying every minute right along with you."

"I'm dead serious. I've never really been interested in it, but I want to do this just for you. I want to show you how much I love you and to thank you for what you did for me tonight."

"Well, you know that we'd need some lubrication, do you want me to run down the street to pick some up or -"

"No, we need to do this now before I lose my nerve," she said with a smile. "I think you'll find that there's plenty of lubrication in my pussy right now anyway."

"Oh, right. I hadn't thought of that. Well, my love, I'd love to give it a try."

Meghan gave me one final kiss and then slid off my lap and again leaned forward over the edge of the hot tub, widened her stance a bit, and lifted her beautiful ass up towards me.

I stepped behind her and reached my hand down to her slit and gently inserted a couple of fingers. Despite everything, she still moaned from the penetration. She was absolutely right though. She was still full of her own pussy juice and cum from Jose and Nick. I easily slid three fingers into her and scooped some out and rubbed it over her little anal rosebud. I then circled my fingers around it, just massaging and rubbing the slick mixture around until I felt her sphincter relax. I then used my index finger to push as much of it as I could down just past the opening. Again, I massaged it around and around inside to get her entire anus coated with it.

I also wanted to maximize my own slickness so I grabbed my own member and slid it into Meghan's pussy to completely coat it as well. And found that she was right about another thing. I had never experienced her pussy so stretched out. It felt kind of like I was inserting my cock into a jar of yoghurt, but I couldn't really feel much of the walls of her pussy at all. A little worry flared in the back of my mind that she might not tighten back up, but that was a concern for another time. She didn't even react to my penetration, so I figured she was feeling as little as I was.

When I pulled out, I could see that my cock was thoroughly coated with the combined cum of Meghan and the men who'd been in there before me.

"Are you ready Baby?" I asked her, "Please tell me that you're 100% sure that you want to do this."

Keeping her chest on the towel in front of her, she reached both hands back, grabbed her own buttocks and spread them apart. She then looked back at me and reassured me by saying, "Take me, baby. I want you to fuck my ass. I want to give this last private place of mine to you and you only. I want to feel your cum in my ass."

Well, I figured that was clear enough then. I started by rubbing the head of my cock around the rim of her sphincter, just getting her used to the feel. Then, I centered it up and very slowly just started pushing forward a little bit. I could feel her tense at first. But then she made a conscious effort of relaxing and it was almost as if her anus sucked the head of my cock inside. Suddenly, it was in.

Both Meghan and I gasped as one. I had never experienced such a sensation before. It felt like she had a tight grip on the head of my cock with her hand and was continuing to squeeze. I froze, as I knew that Meghan would need some time to adjust. She was huffing a little like a lamaze exercise. After twenty or thirty seconds though, she reopened her eyes.

"Are you okay, baby? Did I hurt you?" It definitely wasn't going to be worth it if I hurt her.

"Yes, I'm fine now. It didn't hurt so much as just take my breath away. The rest shouldn't be as drastic as the widest part is already in. Let's just take it slow as I get used to being impaled on this sucker."

She then took the initiative and slowly started backing up. She'd back up an inch, and then lean forward again, then back another inch, slowly working it up into her. I just stood there and let her take it at her own pace, still marveling at what we were doing.

It only took a minute or two before she backed up once more and found herself smack up against my thighs. I was in!

"Oh baby, you feel so enormous stuffed in my ass. This is for you baby. Please fuck my ass." She then released her butt and once more leaned forward on her forearms.

I was so ready for this. I reached down and grabbed her butt cheeks for stability and then began to slowly slide back out until the head of my cock was the only part still in her. Then I smoothly thrust forward again until I was flush against the back of her. I was heaven. It was like the tightest pussy I could ever imagine. It felt like a moist silk glove. I spent a few minutes just getting a nice slow rhythm. Meghan was moaning and grunting a bit but I knew that if I began to hurt her, she would let me know.

I started to speed up a bit. I still wasn't going at the same speed as I would with our usual lovemaking, but even at this medium cadence, I wasn't going to last long. Remembering how Meghan sometimes liked to have her ass spanked as we made love, I figured this was a good a time as any. I reached my right hand halfway back and smack her right on her buttock. It made her cheek wobble sexily and left a small pink handprint. Meghan let out a started "Eep!" And I could tell that it had both startled her and turned her on. I started alternating and smacking each side of her ass every other time that I would thrust into her. "Are you a naughty girl?! Is this what you deserve, you dirty girl?" SMACK!

"Oh YES! I am a dirty slut! I deserve to get my ass fucked!"

"Really?" SMACK! "Why is that? Tell me everything naughty that you've done."

"I let two guys watch as you fucked me. It made me so hot that they wanted me!" SMACK!

"I sucked a man's cock and swallowed his cum!" SMACK!

[soysaucevictim]

“it feels like my brain (was floating in a fishtank)”

(See warnings/summary on Ao3.)

[ Prologue/Start ] [ Previous ]

Chapter 7: Exhalation

Vic was swamped, establishing intensive neonatal care for a litter of tiger cubs at the zoo. It was a very complex pregnancy for the tigress. She was on the older side of breeding age and had numerous other health issues that developed in late term. All of it was related to being an animal control seizure from one of those recklessly ill-equipped exotic pet owners in the area.

Vic arrived at the family house in what seemed to be an eternity after Remus had fled. But it was only a half hour at most and he was none the wiser. 

The food was on the table, but not a bite was eaten. He saw Carrie and Roman sitting in the living room, clearly beside themselves.

“What’s wrong? Where’s Taz?”

Roman answered quietly, “H-he- wasn’t acting like himself.”

Carrie looked at her husband, “Remus almost- and I had to- had to-”

A pit formed in Vic’s stomach as he noticed the bandage on Roman’s face. His magic clued him that it was a minor injury, but he wished they called him immediately. “Where is he?”

Carrie welled up, “I don’t know, Vic! I don’t know!”

Roman’s voice cracked, “I-I think we should ask Janus what to do...”

Carrie and Vic simply nodded in agreement. Once the food was all packed away, they left for Janus’s estate.

-

Remus was a mess and back in the hotel with Cass.

“I need help.”

He wasn’t sure how he got there.

“Shh, I’m still here. What happened?”

Remus couldn’t even make himself think about his mom without shuddering.

“It’s okay, sweet one. Perhaps you just need to be… stronger.”

“H-how?”

“Your offspring? Are you ready to grace the congregation with them?”

At those words, Remus sunk into a trance-like state.

Cass had gathered him into the lobby once more, with his followers. They had brought in a huge cooler full of fresh squid and cuttlefish for the spawn to fuse into.

They were all transfixed by the process, as it birthed the new horrorspawn. He laid the pieces of himself in the first two carcasses he saw. They seized, they grew, they mutated into creatures that looked almost like Jude did.

Tim and Edsel in particular trembled at the sight of them.

He called them Rigby and Eleanor. Cass reminded him he needed to keep his resources up to create even more, so Remus ordered the spawn to go forth and Feed for him. Cass was so proud of him, promising him a new stage in his development as a Beast. There existed an ascended path that would let him shed his weaknesses and attachments, he had some great Promise to fulfill.

When Remus asked, “Jan never told me anything about this…”

“Who is Jan?”

Remus hesitated, but his mind was too split apart to stop talking, “The first Beast I met, well, besides my brother. They taught us the basics… and we are technically part of their brood.”

Cass’s eyes lit up even more, “Do tell?”

Remus wasn’t sure if Janus would approve of them, “W-what happened to keeping you a secret?”

“When did I say that?”

“I… don’t know.”

Cass held Remus by the shoulders softly again, “I wish to wait until you’ve left your Mark on more subjects from this humble congregation. I want that brood of yours to truly see your potential, to know that I was instrumental in that.”

Remus felt like he was going numb, “Okay.”

“Once your Promise is fulfilled, none of this will matter.”

-

Janus seemed to know something was wrong when not all of the Espinozas showed up at once, immediately asking them as they entered, “Did something happen to the little sea monster?”

As the family explained what they saw, Janus grew quiet and looked contemplative. “Let’s discuss this further at the table, shall we? I’ll summon the others shortly.”

It wasn’t long before the remaining brood members were there, except for Patton. Patton looked on with concern, but was told to go with some of the help and entertain himself while everyone talked. The child almost protested, but never really needed much in ways of explanation.

Once he was sure Patton was out of earshot, Virgil crossed his arms to ask, “What’s up, Jan?”

Ellis sat there and echoed, “Yes, what’s going on?”

Everyone seemed to get more and more confused the more times the attack was talked about.

Janus looked shaken, “I think. I know what’s going on with Remus.”

All the Espinozas asked back, “What?”

Janus took a deep breath, “I have only encountered something like this once. Decades before most of you were born. I would probably not be here talking, if not for dumb luck and outside help. We will need to have a plan.”

Roman was tense, “Some thing?”

“A premature abomination that never should have left the Primordial Dream – the Nightmare of Nightmares.”

Virgil looked at Janus, “You. You never told me about this before.”

“I was almost ready to consider them a mere folktale among the Children, it has been so long.”

Roman hesitated, “Why are they called that?”

“These things are called the Insatiable. They will NEVER know what it means to be satisfied, their appetites endless. It doesn’t stop with gnawing on their quarry’s fears, they must consume everything... including their very flesh. Especially that of Beasts.”

Carrie looked unsettled, “All I could sense was Remus… but that wasn’t him.”

Janus leaned back, “These beings are beyond the comprehension and power of Heroes. They’re barely knowable to us Beasts. Hardly any other creature in all the planes even knows they exist. And we don’t have all that much time to act, either...”

That threatened to crush Carrie, “What can we do about it, then?”

Ellis spoke up, “Do more research and make preparations, most likely?”

Janus smiled slightly, “Yes. Will you confer with your mage colleagues for further information? I’ll do the same with my own connections, after this discussion.”

“Of course. I’ll work on this immediately and I will let you all know what I find.”

Ellis got up, nodded at everyone, and left.

Roman looked down, “I-I couldn’t do anything but watch. I was. Scared. Janus.”

Vic gently squeezed his son’s shoulder as he continued, “I’m ready to break my anathema. I-I need to-!”

“This will take two phases, do you understand?”

Roman nodded, Janus continued, “It sounds like it will be easier to accomplish by tranquilizing your Horror entirely, and I may have another mission of interest. You won’t be alone, rest assured.”

Virgil added, “Yeah, I’m joining you on this one. Can’t have you be a sitting duck out there, man. Not when we got such big fish to fry, here… pun not intended.”

That unsettled his parents, still not particularly happy with how much danger Roman was put in at the Whites’ house, earlier. Roman, however, felt some relief in having the back-up available.

Janus continued, “Before that happens, you must also know what to do to wake your Horror back up. It won’t be pleasant or without its own risks.”

Roman gave a defeated sigh, “Not like I expected it to be…”

“Does anyone present have your permission for safe passage in your Lair? And are they prepared to face the threat of an incredibly angry dragon?”

Roman didn’t like the sound of that, “I-.”

His words died when he saw both parents raise their hands, with such looks of determination.

-

Remus was sequestered in a messy room of the hotel – one of those double bed units. The place didn’t have a functioning TV.

He lovingly stroked Eleanor, it had taken to patrolling the marketplace. He felt like he was there, tearing apart the stalls again. The creature was slimy to the touch and would disgust most people, but it was how he could absorb its strangely blissful bounty. He made inhuman noises of approval at it.

Rigby was a little unruly, constantly wandering toward his family’s place. It distressed him, for some reason.

When Remus was upset and he couldn’t articulate why, Cass was almost instantly by his side to comfort him. Oftentimes with food that definitely didn’t come from the continental breakfast pantry.

“Is something the matter?”

“I keep telling Rigby to go somewhere else but…”

The house was empty a lot of the time, whenever Remus peered through Rigby’s eyes. Rigby seemed to shudder like he did, as it moved onto going after the neighbors, instead.

He had trouble remembering what happened there. He viscerally didn’t want to picture his Mom, but the anger and power of her words ached in a way he just couldn’t understand. He knew that stopping himself from a thought never really worked.

He kept playing fragments of it – batting about the regret note. Over and over again.

Cass drew closer, running a hand through Remus’s hair. He wasn’t sure when he even last showered, “It was only a matter of time, I’m afraid.”

“What was?”

“Heroes can’t ignore their impulses. Perhaps it was all just-.”

Remus was melting into their touch, “What?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“Okay.”

“The congregation wants to see their Sign again.”

“… what did you mean? By any of that?”

“Here, your body still needs rest and sustenance, first. I’ll explain more, later.”

Cass left Remus alone again in the room, with his offspring and an elaborate platter of comfort food – including some enchiladas de cerdo. It was marvelous, flavorful, and juicy – it all had a perfect home-cooked meal quality to it. He wondered if Cass made it, it almost made him think about his mom’s cooking…

After he ate, Remus cradled Eleanor even more closely to himself and drifted off to sleep.

He didn’t want to think about his mom again.

-

Vic had found out he could return to that place he saw during his Awakening, in his dreams, albeit inconsistently. Vic actually did some reading, despite making a fuss with Ellis over it. That was mostly to get a rise out of him.

This place was called the Primal Wilds and he could go there to find out more about his magic. He was pressed to, not knowing how else he could help his son, his family. This place was both terrifying and exhilarating, the blended soundscape of powerful fauna and the vibrant flora was captivating. He wandered the dense jungle, noticing some new symbols along the way. He didn’t yet know what they meant or what they could do, but he tried to remember them for later.

He kept seeing a great stag that reminded him of one of the movies he watched with his children just before they moved onto high school. It wasn’t Disney fare, but it still caught their interest. He was pretty sure this being wasn’t the same thing, but he whispered in awe, “Shishigami?”

He very much enjoyed the works of Studio Ghibli, and this entire scene reminded him of why he did. Why all the aesthetics and themes had resonated with him, so. Here, it all made sense.

The thing would take flight before he got too close, leaving behind a trail of blooming flora and thicket. The more times he saw it, the more it stoked his adrenaline and desire to make a game of hunting it. It exuded most potently of the magic that was then coursing through him.

-

Janus had Roman and Virgil in their study.

“I do apologize for not having the time to properly unpack what happened at the Whites’ house.”

Roman felt all sorts of ways, besides the loud buzzing worry for his brother. He didn’t regret taking the stuff he did for his Hoard chamber – in fact he’d never felt so blissed out upon staring at it all, before. But he was still rattled about having a gun pulled on him, again. He should’ve expected that could happen, but, “You said the house was going to be unoccupied.”

Janus sighed, “That I did. It was… unfortunately out of date information.”

Virgil looked at Roman, “Did you even know who you were robbing?”

“No?”

Virgil buried his face in his hands, groaning.

“Now, now. I didn’t bring up that sheepdog metaphor for nothing, little dragon. I assumed you knew what I meant when I said that.”

Virgil shook his head, impatient, “Mr. White was a cop. And not just ANY cop, the gods damned chief of police!”

“Oh.” Roman blinked, thought about it more, and repeated himself, “Oh no. Oooh, Miércoles.”

Janus gave Roman a strained smile, “After my informant gave that intel on the property, the situation changed.”

Roman thought about the news broadcast, he swore he recognized that missing woman from somewhere. He remembered the heavy flavors of grief coming off the man and, “Did something happen to his daughter?”

Janus nodded, “Yes. The man has a lot of his colleagues turning over every stone to find her…”

Virgil crossed his arms, “A white trust fund police brat going missing without a word, around her wedding day, no less? Those people only give a shit about tears of their own. If they couldn’t find her, by now? My money says she’s bit the big one.”

Roman remembered the red book, the WW2 memorabilia, and other items he found there. His guts churned at the picture he was painting.

Janus leaned back in their chair, “… it’s certainly bumped the timeline for the next proposition I have to offer. But I’m going to need more dirt on him, before he realizes precisely what my interests are, here.”

Virgil smiled at that idea immediately, “Oh?”

“Yes, little spiderling. He will know that something out there is watching him and daring him to flinch. Perfect for your appetites.”

Janus looked at Roman, “You see, there’s this warehouse in the marina that I’d like you to clean out. It will be guarded, but there will be trinkets you might enjoy seeing there, little dragon. As before, I simply ask you to pluck any other contraband you see while there. Oh, and try not to die?”

Virgil snorted and Roman gulped, “W-what’s so funny?” 

Virgil gave a sly look at Janus, one that seemed to fluster them, and went to whisper into Roman’s ear, “Let’s just say… they’re totally not afraid of what your mom is going to do to them if you...”

Virgil did the neck slice gesture. It made Roman crack a smile, but said nothing.

Janus flushed, “Yes, are you quite done?”

“Sure, I’m in.”

“M-me too.”

-

Remus gathered Rigby and Eleanor to the next Mass, as they called it.

He wasn’t completely oblivious. He knew all of this was some kind of bizarre cult, one that Cass had clearly built up completely behind his awareness. He liked being worshiped in a weird way, rather, he liked how his very presence made them all cower from him without really trying to do anything. It was a little too easy, yet his diminished energy levels had no complaints.

He was in the dark about all the language Cass was using, until they started laying some things out more plainly. Relatively.

“When the Promise is paid, will you all say to yourselves one thing?”

There was a knowing, eager look in Edsel’s eyes, “What is it, Herald?”

Remus noticed that Tim wasn’t there anymore.

“That you’ve lived like nothing else mattered.”

Remus sluggishly blinked about what Cass was implying.

It was then when Remus saw Kenny move toward the front. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks and his breath reeked of wine, “I’ve lost… everything. I know now, it was just the Sign for the Promise I needed, will you – will you grace me with one of your Visions?”

Kenny’s anger was still simmering from the yacht party broadcast. It was also mixed in with profound grief, fatalistic hope, and some bizarre sense of determination. Remus was struck by the complexity of that morsel alone, there was a striking lack of confusion behind it, he wanted it to last. To let it really soak into his being.

Cass smiled on,“Of course! You can’t be faulted for that wish!”

A few others joined in a chorus of volunteering – to bear his nightmares, to bear his spawn. In fact, Kenny and three others had become particularly insistent. He noticed similar, tantalizing flavors in all of them.

Remus almost doubted himself and his energies when Cass gently squeezed his shoulder, “Let me help.”

Remus suddenly heard loud music getting cued up. He lost time again. There was alcohol and weird smelling smoke in the air. Tobacco, incense, weed, and who knows what else. He heard fragments of strange conversations.

Conversations about the End and about the Promise.

Cass put a SOLO cup to his mouth, there was wine in it. He still had a year to go before it was legal in public and his mom probably wouldn’t approve. He found he had no resistance in drinking it, he wasn’t sure if it tasted funny. A thought lazily lingered in his mind, “None of this will matter.”

With a surge of energy entering him – Remus blacked out.

“So, let’s just have some fun, shall we?”

More pieces were sheared off.

His ever-growing Hunger became the only thoughts to remain.

-

Vic and Carrie didn’t feel right celebrating their anniversary, in the days after Remus fled. It felt a lot like those agonizing hours Roman took to heal from being shot – not knowing if they’d ever see his son again. 

Vic’s coworkers made a few offhand comments about him being elsewhere. It motivated him to slip into using his magic. Small things that didn’t alert the Sleepers, as Ellis would call non-mages. They still encouraged him to take some days off. 

It was a little over a week after, and he wished he could reach out to his extended family about everything. His mamá always had a way to put his problems into perspective, after all. But he had no idea where he would begin. He didn’t want to put more people in danger.

Everyone was making preparations for whatever may be ahead of them. Vic was never as stoic as his wife, it was something he admired in her. He needed to talk it out with someone, just to process it all.

He didn’t expect that it would be with Virgil, of all people.

“Pat’s been worried about everyone lately. I thought I should check-in with you, since you’re here and my shift isn’t until graveyard hours anyways.”

Virgil looked tired, but earnest.

“I guess I’m that easy to read, huh?”

Virgil waved his hand vaguely, “Maybe. A little.”

“I don’t know where my baby boy went, and every minute that goes by, it hurts more. I-I wish I was there to at least see him one more time.”

“I. Uh. I guess I can sort of understand, if something ever happened to Ti- Pat- well…”

“If you don’t mind me asking, whatever happened to your parents?”

“Mine? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. Jan said she had their info, but I turned it down every time it came up. I sure as hell stopped being their kid when we all figured out I wasn’t really human. They could rot for all I care.”

Vic nodded and Virgil continued, “We think Patton was an orphan, before he found me. No one claimed him before Jan became our guar- Mom. It’s… a really long story.”

Virgil gave a small smile, at the end there. Vic asked back, “Well, I’m glad Janus found you two.”

“Y-yeah. Even though they’re often doing things behind the scenes around here, I’m honestly not sure if the two of us would’ve made it this long without her.”

“Janus is an interesting one, that’s for sure. I wonder how different things could have been if they didn’t find my sons when they did.”

Virgil looked away, sullen, “Considering how you and Carrie are still around them at all, a-after everything. I think you two would’ve figured stuff out...”

“Where do you think my family stands in the brood, Virgil?”

“I-uh. Well. Pat’s already considered the twins his brothers. The way Jan talks about them like they’re her children, whenever you guys aren’t around…”

That made Vic snort, “I figured, but what about you?”

Virgil looked down at his hands, clearly nervous, “I- Well. This sounds like a bad time… one of your actual sons is MIA and we only- and I was kind of an asshole- and-.”

Vic blinked, “Are you much of a hug person?”

Virgil’s eyes widened a moment, looking up, but then looked back down. He twiddled his thumbs a while, mumbled something about Patton, and gave the tiniest of nods. Vic took that and the furtive smile as a yes.

Vic went over to give Virgil a hug, Virgil looked caught by surprise and could only awkwardly pat the older man on the back. Vic didn’t expect how that would let loose the waterworks on himself, he almost pulled away, “S-sorry about that, kiddo.”

Virgil lingered into the hold a while longer before pulling away, “It’s. It’s okay, d-Mr. Espinoza. I’m sorry for making this about me and-”

Virgil appeared to be fighting down a tremble in his voice and his own tears.

Vic steeled himself, “No need to apologize! I honestly kind of needed that. Wh-what were you about to call me?”

Virgil was barely audible, “… dad.”

Vic was stirred to hug Virgil again and tighter this time, “That makes it official – you and Pat are co-adopted!”

Virgil sputtered uselessly after he was released again, earning some mirthful cackling from Vic. Virgil groaned at the familiar and endearingly obnoxious sound.

After that exchange, Vic knew he had to remain hopeful.

-

Carrie was racked with guilt over what she had to do to Remus.

She was glad Roman was going to entrust her with helping him shake off that anathema for good, to help himself and the rest of the family. When under that spell, she was reminded of a moth slamming itself over and over into a lantern. It hurt him, but he just couldn’t stop himself. Not until he was simply too tired to reach for the lantern one more time.

She knew she did something similar to Remus. She wasn’t sure if Remus would even forgive her for it.

He looked sick, but neither her nor Vic had any idea why. She wished she knew what to look for, before Janus decided to slip that information in her lap. Carrie wanted to slap her for that. Across the entire foyer. At least. But that wouldn’t really accomplish anything productive, no matter how satisfied she'd feel about it. She still had some sense of priorities, here.

She had taken a lot more of her downtime training herself with the weapons Tasha and Giles gave her. A lot of it was just an excuse to let loose her pent up rage on the dummies in Janus’s overly large backyard.

The part of her mind that egged on her wish to be stronger was the same as the one that reminded her the best way to do that. She was a Hero, after all. The Bright Dream really loved to toss at her the image of her committing filicide, whispering oh so sweetly that it would “free him.”

She wound up dropping her sword and vomiting in a nearby planter, so profoundly disgusted by the thought. Carrie feared Janus was right, however. That, by herself, she didn’t have a chance with whatever it was that ensorcelled her son. Not when she barely even comprehended what it even was, at that point.

Eventually, her mind was too exhausted to keep feeling anything.

She stood back up and stared at the dummies closely for the first time. The punctures and slashes she inflicted on them had slowly started to repair themselves, startling her. She was not in the head space to think about the ramifications of those things being alive. On top of everything else going on.

She heard someone clear their throat behind her. When she looked, there stood Ellis wearing a curious expression. “What?”

“I had a little bit of free time and simply wished to talk to you about a few things.”

“Alright.”

After Carrie picked up her sword, she followed Ellis to the nearest lounge set on the patio. He walked a bit stiffly, but Carrie just accepted that that was just how the kid worked. She spoke first, still too frazzled to think of anything to ask herself, “Go on.”

“How is your estoc looking? You were going at those dummies for a long time.”

Carrie realized how much time passed before she was truly exhausted, she knew where the stamina came from and hated it. It was then she also realized the blade and point were going a bit dull on her. “I think I need to find a whetstone for it…”

Ellis smiled as he summoned forth some of his magic. She remembered how Vic described it to her, although Carrie wasn’t as amused at the idea of Ellis essentially suffocating her husband just to show off. Vic laughed about it, though, said it was amazing and made him feel more alive afterwards. Thinking about him always eventually made her think of Remus, and vice versa.

She was barely paying attention to how reality warped for a moment and the blade’s edges had a new sheen to it. Ellis seemed to notice her reverie, “Is something the matter Mrs. Espinoza? I unfortunately saw what you did with that planter earlier and-”

“Thanks. For fixing up my weapon. But I’m just. Worried.”

It was practically written all over her face, “About your sons? Understandable. I was about to report to Janus some of my findings on the situation first, but I feel you deserve to hear about it now.”

Carrie simply nodded.

“Before I go over that information, I must say that whoever made that sword was a great craftsman – I just made it a little bit closer to perfect. It should maintain the edge much longer and pierce through more things – if you can apply enough force. This may improve your chances in entering Roman’s Lair and then addressing the Insatiable problem. If you would like, I can make you some armor, as well?”

Carrie made a halfhearted chuckle, she felt more confident about helping Roman than Remus at that point, “Probably going to need something light, discreet, and fire-resistant, then.”

“Of course.”

“So, can you tell me more about that Insatiable stuff?”

“For one, I learned that those beings have the ability to actually possess Beasts. This explains Remus’s behavior, would it not?”

The violation aspect of it had another wave of nausea hit Carrie, “It does. Too well.”

“I still only have fragments of a plan to offer at this juncture. But, the first thing we would need to do is to drive it out of Remus, before we can address what to do afterwards…”

“I vote we rip and tear it to shreds. No, ATOMIZE that monster with white-hot fire. Leave NO trace anywhere of its very existence!”

“A-a valid and understandable choice, if somewhat alarming. But it couldn’t hurt to have a contingency plan, just in case.”

“And what would you have in mind?”

“Mrs. Espinoza, I do have some inklings. But, I must do more research before I can explain it very well. I’ll keep you posted, as I learn more. However…”

Ellis pulled an almost ordinarily looking bag off his belt, roughly the size of a purse, and presented it to Carrie.

He went on to explain, “This might also be good to add to you’re repertoire. This bag has been enchanted with the help of colleagues of mine to hold virtually endless storage space. As long as it can fit in the bag’s mouth.”

“Really? Could that be dangerous?”

“It’s been bound only to the brood members, excepting Remus until he’s secured. To anyone else, it’s just filled with marbles.”

“I could hide my equipment in it, that could be very useful.”

“That’s the only one I can provide for you and yours, these aren’t in abundant supply and take some resources to craft. I trust you'll figure it out.”

She gave a heavy sigh as she sheathed the estoc, “Fair enough, and thank you.”

-

Remus felt a heaviness inside itself. It didn’t remember when it started incubating more horrorspawn, but there were four more eggs in that chamber already.

It was getting a little harder to enter its Lair to tend to them, it vaguely remembered something Janus had told it. It was one of those things that happened to Beasts as they approached starvation.

Cass helped it nurture the spawn, whenever it didn’t have the energy to do so.

It was happy to hear that they were progressing without troubles. Rigby and Eleanor worked double time, rotating their haunts to slake its Horror. It peered through those sets of eyes, constantly wanting more.

Whenever it wasn’t cackling in delight over it all, it was salivating for more and more.

Cass held it closely, whispering, “We are now more alike than ever…”

Remus wound up asking, without prompt, “What do you think about being called an ‘it’?”

“I don’t think it matters, but I would not object to that. There’s an honesty in “it” and our natures, really. Would you like me to use that for you?”

“… yeah. I can’t really think. About anything else. Right now.”

“My Sign, you’ve been doing amazing work. It must be so challenging.”

Remus nodded and leaned into Cass, like its only rock at that point.

It wondered why it was recalling the taste of blood, the last episode of lost time. Perhaps it had a nosebleed -  it hadn’t felt particularly well for a while. But time was slipping through its appendages like ocean silt, its concept of it was completely broken at that point.

It idly thought, “Oh, had another of the members gone missing recently?”

That realization simply made Remus’s stomach grumble. It didn’t know why that made it feel more nauseous. A connection his mind was refusing to make.

-

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[duncebento]

the thing is also that rich people cannot understand how many of those small moments of appreciation for life poor people have to miss out on. the difference between a poor person and a rich person who work the exact same hours is that the rich person has free time. even with the same hours!

i spent a lot of time at my best friend’s place during my senior year of high school. his mom is an exec at a company literally all of you have heard of. she worked hard! and for long hours, longer than many of her coworkers and some of her subordinates (she was overworked, technically, because the company had made her absorb the job of a second person.)

still, on the off occasion that we got to talking in the realm of workers’ rights, there was still some barely-perceptible catch in her view of work that i felt ultimately disallowed her from viewing working lifestyles as something influenced by the systematic and not merely the personal. and when i think about it, this might be why:

when my best friend’s mom came home from work, in the late evening or at night, she would take off her heels at the door before padding across the persian rug and collapsing onto what is probably my favorite couch, a huge sectional with seats as wide as mattresses. the walls intersecting behind it were glass, so as she caught her breath she could see a number of things: always the shimmering lights of manhattan; if it were still evening, and fall, the autumn leaves of the entire length of central park; if it were summer, a whole dome of sunset and, on rare occasions, fireworks that burst right in front of the balcony, at eye-level from a spot on the 25th floor.

on days when she came home late, she never had to cook. my friend’s father, a househusband, may have cooked something already, or we might have ordered sushi, or gone to one of the hundreds of restaurants within walking distance. if she didnt want much there was always cheese in the fridge, or wine in the cupboard, or espresso, or something novel: maybe i had brought them cake, maybe someone else had.

there was a lot of difficulty in raising her kids, but none of it came from their educational environments, which is more than most can say. both of her sons were in top public schools. the one i went to with her older son let us dual-enroll at columbia. if i had known her sons earlier, they would both have been enrolled at new york’s lycee francais. her younger son was disabled, that’s difficult no matter who you are. his speech now is slow, but clear. i imagine speech therapy costs money. i imagine it’s more stressful to have a child who can’t speak when you know you can’t afford to raise them into a teenager who can. but now, when she sits on the couch and asks her sons about their days, they complain about the too-fast pace of columbia calculus or the annoyance of not being able to pronounce a particular diphthong in french. real complaints. complaints that could be worse.

there are other things too, like how the apartment (save for the boys’ room) was always clean even when i visited impromptu . (once, i came completely unannounced to surprise the younger one with a slice of birthday cake, but there was only a cleaning lady— i’m guessing the apartment complex sent cleaners every two weeks or so.) celebration was easy, fun was easy—when she heard i’d received my first college acceptance, she immediately took us all out for dinner, and then back in for a nightcap. i had chartreuse for the first time. when something good happens there is champagne, there is caviar. they do not have to worry about safety, on the 25th floor of a complex with a front desk who calls to announce visitors and packages. beyond these there are surely a hundred other privileges that i cannot imagine because i’ve grown up with the same ones.

and all of this happens outside of work, which is why i reiterate: respite makes all the difference. and if you are rich i believe it is difficult to see that even while you work the same (or longer!) hours or “as hard as” the working poor, the passive respite that comes from your wealth— the persian rug and the fluffy couch and the city lights and the sunset and the well-learned children and clean kitchen and leftover camembert— is giving you so much more life than the surroundings of any poorer person when they get home. the plain relaxation of the worker only seems egregious when you do not realize that their time at home is not ever relaxation, and yours is.