#we were fucking at pride this year

[anotherpapercut]

yesterday I went to a little meeting at my local queer community center and I was admiring their bookshelves and mentioned that I work at the public library and someone said "well I bet they don't have any [LGBTQ+ books] at our library" and I was like um. yes we do. we have tons of them. half of our employees are queer leftists so they said "oh well I bet they don't in [nearby rural county]" and I was like uh once again yes they absolutely do. gay people live and work there as well

so here's a quick reminder that if you don't think your local library has enough queer centered materials you should actually check before assuming, and if you're not satisfied with their collection you should submit a request for more such books. I don't know what the political landscape of libraries looks like outside the us rn, but within the us no matter where you are, I promise you there are employees at your library fighting for inclusion and intellectual freedom and they can't win without vocal public support

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[anendoandfriendo]

"Fuck your online discourse" actually, no, we do think the halloween DID flag shouldn't be used but it's not because of some bullshit like "waah it's just a recolor" it's because the system that created that flag is a huge fucking racist and ableist last we checked, and we never saw ant kind of apology for being racist and ableist to endogenic systems. We never saw them stop being anti-endogenic or anti-Black (because let's be honest, Black endogenic systems specifically would be the ones most affected and hurt by this).

Like, we know people have forgotten by now, but we were THERE just before TPA became a thing, when systems like The Entropy System were fully mask-off in their bigotry (we call anti-endogenics facsists because of the personal experience of having the not-pleasure of seeing shit like the above link lmao), and such other things. We used to be very visible on Twitter as an endogenic system who's seen this shit but it was kind of taking over 99% of our focus when we were working retail instead of working at home, so we ended up tapering it away.

[dukeofriven]

This Pride I want us all to take a minute to reflect on those brave but forgotten queer souls who worked on The Epilogues and Homestuck 2 with the goal of seeing Homestuck with queer content 'done right' and fucked it up so much worse than anyone thought humanly possible.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[heffrondriving]

soooo. that new big time rush album huh

[chryblossomjjk]

…

[eenochian]

“headcanoning farah as wlw is disrespectful because she’s muslim”

my. my guy. queer people exist in every group. queer muslims very much exist.

“ok but it’s a sin in islam”

WHY ARE WE SUDDENLY JUSTIFYING HOMOPHOBIA WITH RELIGION⁉️⁉️ it’s wrong for a christian to use religion to justify their bigotry, so WHY is it okay to use islam or any other religion to do the same?? i know that i’m comparing the world’s most oppressive religion (christianity) to a religion that’s oppressed, but like… allowing one group to essentially “get a pass” opens the door for EVERY group to get one.

what was even weirder is that the person who made the post about it wasn’t even muslim 😭 they said they looked it up which i believe, but then they had an actual wlw muslim in their comments telling them it wasn’t a big deal— and THEY LITERALLY TOLD THE COMMENTER THAT IT WAS STILL DISRESPECTFUL?? AND OTHER NON-MUSLIMS WERE GOING “grr but it’s a sin >:(” LIKE?? HELLO?? WHY are people not even included in the group talking over ACTUAL MEMBERS OF THE GROUP???

i care very deeply about respecting people’s beliefs and faiths. but once that belief starts to harm others, my respect is withdrawn. the golden rule is that your rights end where another person’s begin. i remember seeing posts from years ago about queer muslims. they’ve always reminded me of queer christians – the vast majority of their faiths hate them, but they do still exist. and it’s possible to be progressive while also being devoted to your faith. i’ve met so many religious folks that are allies and supportive of queer people, so seeing posts like this crop up and gain popularity is just… disheartening. it feels like we’re going backwards after finally making some progress.

[queeriboh]

speaking of tits ugh I was actually planning on ordering my first binder next paycheck (this one wass rent 😔) but after the sports bra incident I'm really. really. really uncomfortable with ever ordering anything online ever again. but there aren't any brick and mortar stores that sell anything like that so I'm just kind of

fucked ig lol

[dorkicon]

bitching abt homophobia n shit at my job in the tags o7 happy pride

[4thbrighteststar]

</3

[worldblight]

Happy disability month I hate being reminded I wasn't born right and that I will struggle throughout my entire life now get that flag out of my fucking face

[bear-of-varley]

I need to rant about my cousin and his daughter who has Autism. Like. Rant, rant.

I'm currently seething in my bed right now because my aunt told my mom over the phone that her granddaughter's most recent visit to the doctor had the doctor telling her parents that her autism would go away by age 6 and she'd be normal by then.

I don't fucking know why they can't accept they she has autism. They just ignore her and don't do anything for her development and I know I shouldn't be wasting my breath because exactly five years in July when bitchface revealed she was pregnant I said "god help that child" because they are terrible people and I hate that I was fucking right.

Like these people are so fucking narcissistic and self centered that they will accept anything that shows that this poor girl doesn't have a disability even though she can't talk. Can't read. Can't count. Can't understand what people say, only parroting a word or two. Can't draw. Can't identify objects. She hasn't hit a single milestone expected of a child her age and is far, far behind. The only thing she can do is dance. Her parents won't do floor time with her because God forbid her mom's nails break and her dad is probably playing fifa when he's not doing his jobs.

I'm not allowed to bring up the disability because I'll get yelled at by him even though I literally have a master's degree in this topic like fuck everyone but fuck that doctor especially if he actually said that because I want to throw hands so badly. There is no cure for autism and the ONLY way to help her is to accept the disability and create a plan. I'm seriously concerned that she is minimally verbal to the point of being actually nonverbal.

Like seriously, fuck everyone in this situation. I hate them all. The only innocent person is the child and her sister I guess ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ (sister is also academically delayed because her mom never put her in school until she was like 8 or 9). The ONLY silver lining in this situation is that she does go to a specialized school and is getting her supports and forming connections with her teachers and peers better than her family can.

[dragpinkman]

oh to go to pride or not this year

[labyrynth]

imma be honest this whole toothpaste flag nonsense feels a whole lot like mark hamill going “aww, everyone has a musical theme EXCEPT for luke…i want a theme too!!” and then everyone else going “mark. you have a theme. luke is the main character, mark. the MAIN THEME is your theme.”

*points at gilbert baker flag* it’s right there

[demadogs]

i never post tiktoks anymore and i have a big following bc i made videos of my cats like talking to each other with the text to speech thing and i hyped up that id be home for summer to post but i havent been creative so ive barely made any and i feel guilty like im depriving 600k people of wholesome cat content but i cant get myself to make one