#we’ve all seen a pretty rock and wanted to eat it

[littledreamling]

I want to write a fic about Dream finding out* about all of the stupid things Hob has done that would 100% kill any other person (drinking lava, jumping off of cliffs, attempting to climb impossible heights, etc) when he found out he couldn’t die

because let’s be honest, it doesn’t matter who you are, if you’re granted immortality, the first thing any human is going to do is some fatally stupid shit and Hob wouldn’t be exempt from this. He wouldn’t do it out of any suicidal intent, he would do it to fully experience everything the world has to offer

*bonus points if Hob isn’t the one to tell him, Death is and Dream spends the entire time alternating between being impressed and glaring at Hob who’s standing in the corner wishing he was literally anywhere else

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

fem!plus size reader, wc: 545.

a/n: I apologize @kajjaka that this took me so long to write this, but it's here and cute!! it was so easy to make this honestly — like the words just flew right out of my fingers!! thank you so much for your request and i hope you enjoy!!

You absolutely loved taking care of your team.

They were your family, your shoulder to cry on, your rock, so it’s always very easy to tell when one of them is struggling.

Reid’s blinks are getting slower and slower as he reads? You’re up and greeting him with a big and his sugary coffee. Emily looks like she’s having a hard time keeping up with all of her case loads? It’s already done and waiting for her on her desk the next morning.

You weren’t a pushover by any means, you just wanted to make sure they were always prepared for the potential rough day that lay ahead of them, and Aaron adored you for it.

But even though he found your kindness wildly admirable, he was worried about you.

Isn’t it taxing bringing the group homemade lunches almost every other day? What about when you make coffee runs for others when you have your own work that you need to do?

During the time of his worries you guys hadn’t gotten together yet, so he could only make boss-like suggestions to take it slow, even though there was so much he wanted to say to you. He wanted to take that extra stress off of your shoulders. And one day, he could.

Ever since the day you two had gotten together, he had taken the reigns in your personal lives. Your laundry was done, your clothes ironed, and your calendar was set up.

Now, you were on a much needed trip, and Aaron was trying his absolute hardest to make sure that you enjoy it to the fullest. He had never seen you so carefree. Sure, you were happy most of the time, but you were actually relaxed.

“Oh Aaron, look!” You tug on his strong bicep and point at the air. When he looks up, he sees birds. “What about them, sweetheart?” He questioned softly. “Reid told me that those kinds of birds were native here, but they were pretty rare. How cool is it that we were able to see them?"

Your excitement made him smile, and though he didn’t really have much interest in birds, if you cared, then he cared.

“It’s very cool, honey.” He looks down at the tourist map that you were holding between your interlaced arms. “Where do you want to go next?” Though he planned this whole trip out, it mostly just consisted of you dragging him places that you were interested in and he just smiled along the whole time.

“Hm… we’ve been walking around for a while and I’m a little hot. Are you okay?” You ask him in concern. You reached up and put the back of your head against his forehead. Aaron takes it gently, holding it in light hands, “I’m fine. How about we go get something to eat? How does that sound?”

“That sounds good! What are you in the mood for?”

“Whatever is fine with me, you know I’m not picky.”

You groan. “Ugh, Aaron, don't tell me that. You know I’m indecisive.” Your sentence fell off with a slight whine. He chuckles and with a soft shake of his head takes the paper from between your fingers.

“It’s fine honey, I got it then.”

He’ll always have you.

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @alixwriter @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus

[phi8]

A bit of Star Wars fanart! A conversation between Ahsoka and Anakin after The Mandalorian Chapter 13: The Jedi. This one goes along with a bit of writing, check it out below or here.

Ahsoka broke the piece of dried meat she was eating into a few smaller parts. She let her consciousness expand and felt the birds and lizards around her camp site, a singular simian alien at the edge of her awareness. The trees rustled and their anticipation for the coming change of season was apparent. She felt the Khyber crystals in her lightsabers hum and reverberate the life around them. Even the rock on which she had unfolded a clean napkin had its signature in the living force. Savoring the taste of the jerky, she thanked the beast from which it had come.

“Ahsoka,” a voice called out.

“Master,” she responded. It became easier to become aware of him each time she did. “Good to see you,” she said, right before he materialized into the world.

The pale blue visage of Anakin Skywalker shifted uncomfortably. “I told you to stop calling me that, I don’t deserve it.”

“You are the guy who’s become one with the force, not me,” Ahsoka said with a little smirk. “... Anakin,” she finished with a nod.

“Thank you,” he said, sitting down on a log across from her. As was the case with Obi-Wan and his master and Yoda, Anakin was strangely physical when he appeared like this. Ahsoka could feel how he was affected by gravity and that he would rather sit than stand. But she could also see right through his wispy shape.

Similarly, Anakin could tell that Ahsoka had been wrestling with something. “You have something on your mind?”

“Yes,” Ahsoka said. She swallowed the last piece of her meal and wrung her hands. “Grogu... Turns out he’s still alive.”

“The little kid that the council was always so mysterious about?” Anakin paused, then flickered out of existence briefly. With a pained expression now on his face, he continued, “I always figured he got caught when... When you were on Mandalore.”

“We shared a connection, apparently someone managed to sneak him out of the temple.” She looked at him. “His life hasn’t been easy,” Ahsoka said. She didn’t manage to keep all of the accusation out of her tone.

Anakin nodded. He was of the force now, supposed to be in ultimate balance with the galaxy. Ahsoka noted he really didn’t look it.

“He’s gotten himself a father figure, a Mandalorian. It’s pretty cute. But the guy wanted me to train Grogu.” She looked down at her lap. “And, and – Anakin, Grogu reminded me so much of you.”

“The little baby Yoda reminded you of me?” Anakin said a bit incredulously.

“He’s powerful, and filled with fear and passion. Fear to become lost again, to lose this new parent. We’ve seen what such fear to lose someone can -,” Ahsoka interrupted herself.

Anakin sighed. He didn’t have lungs anymore, but it still hurt. There were some downsides to being granted eternity. He was forced to be faced with the consequences of his actions, all the people he had hurt.

He leaned forward  and put his hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder. To her the sensation was one of warmth, not one of touch. “So you turned him down,” Anakin said softly.

“Yes.” She looked at him. Both being this connected to the force, they could feel the compassion they felt for each other. Healing and forgiving would take time, but it would come. “I promised to help them though, and since I’m not comfortable training him I sent them to Tython.”

“Tython? That dingy temple with the seeing stone?” He sat back a little. “But who would respond to a call from a place like that?”

“I think Luke will find them.” Ahsoka said. Her lekku twitched, and the guilt she felt was visible on her face.

“Oh, I see,” Anakin said, smiling a little. “You wanted to check in with me because you sent a potential Sith Lord to my son.”

“When you put it like that...” Ahsoka smiled as well and hit Anakin in the arm, which  fully connected. He let out a soft gasp, as he would have in life.

“Don’t worry about him!” Anakin continued. “I don’t know if you  noticed, but that young man is capable of some incredible things. In fact, it was his love, his passion, that made him a better Jedi, made him able to save me.” Anakin’s form glowed slightly as he talked about his son, as though the thought of Luke made his spirit more bright. “If anyone can train Grogu, it’s him.”

Anakin stood up, face turned to the night sky of Corvus. “But here: you called a Jedi knight from the beyond for advice and counseling?” Looking back at Ahsoka, he made a little bow and said, “just go check in on Luke at some point. You get to make sure you made the right decision, see if the kid is doing well. And Luke can needle you for more advice.”

“Yeah, he’s very eager, isn’t he?” Ahsoka said, her expression softening.

“It’s unbelievable. He won’t let Obi-Wan and Yoda have a single bit of rest, always asking is this right, what did we do in such cases... He even figured out how master Qui-Gon’s views are different and how to find the compromise between them” Anakin got a sad smile on his face and said, “he’s so much like Padmé.”

Ahsoka felt Anakin fading away in the force, like he suddenly didn’t have the willpower to maintain his form here anymore.

“Do not worry, Ahsoka,” Anakin said faintly, “Luke is more than capable, and yours is a different path.”

“Thank you, master,” she said to the chilly night.

[specialagentlokitty]

Rick Grimes x sister!reader - my family

omg im so happy you're writing for rick and daryl! Could i request a Rick x sister!reader where they weren't together when the infection started and thought that the other had died but she's found by someone from the group and taken to alexandria? - Anon 💜

A/N: due to the fact I’m on season 2 we’ve changed it a bit :))

You weren’t sure how long you had been running, and you were scared to stop running.

You were exhausted, you had the worst pain in your ribs and nasty cut down your arm that by some miracle hadn’t gotten infected.

You were scavenging whatever you could, food, medicine, bandages, a few bottles of water that you were trying to make last.

You learned the hard way you had to go for the head, so you kept a few knifes at hand, trading them in when you found something better.

You were in a forest, abundant with sticks, and that’s what you made use off, sharpening the largest and strongest ones, always keeping a couple tucked under the straps of your bags just in case one broke.

You hadn’t seen any other living people, and as much as you wanted to try and find your family you didn’t want to risk them being one of those creatures, you couldn’t bare that thought, so you kept running to keep yourself safe.

If they were alive you would find them somewhere, they had to be alive.

Sitting on a large rock, you were taking a small break, making sure to keep on eye on everything around you.

You heard a noise and you picked up your stick, spinning around only to find a crossbow pointed at you and you looked at the owner in fear.

“Please don’t kill me…”

“Your arm, you been bit?”

You quickly shook your head, putting the power bar your were eating in your mouth and unwrapped the old bandage with your free hand, showing him the jagged wound.

You took the food out your mouth and looked at him.

“Cut myself on some glass escaping those things, that’s all. It’s not healed right though, still bleeds.”

He grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand up so he could look at it.

Then he threw your arm back at you.

“The fuck you doing out here?”

“If I had to take a guess, probably the same as you. Running, ran from the city.”

“Atlanta?”

You nodded.

“I lived there, saw what was happened, made a break the moment I could, knew a refugee sight wouldn’t hold long.”

“Can’t tell if you’re smart or stupid.”

You shrugged a little, holding your food out to him.

He rose a brow in question, and you made a gesture for him to go ahead and take it.

“I got more.”

“Well I sure as hell don’t want no half eaten one dumbass, what else you got?”

You laughed a little, and opened your bag, pulling out another one for him, and he took it without thanks, and you zipped your bag up.

“What’s your name?” You asked.

“You tell me first.”

“(Y/N).”

“Daryl.”

He looked around, and you did the same thing.

“Foods hard to come by now, why’d you share?”

“My brother always said I was too kind for my own good, I guess that was right. But we’re all in the same shit world, gotta make sure the ones alive stay alive.”

“Your stupid, that’s gonna get you killed pretty fast out here.”

You rolled your eyes, and you put your bag back on your back, grabbing your weapon and jumped down from the rock.

You smiled up at him.

“See you around I guess Daryl. Oh, and here.”

Looking through your pockets, you pulled out a few more power bars you held them out and he jumped down, taking them from you.

You began to walk away.

“Hey, hey wait a second, where you going?”

“I don’t know, just… just somewhere I guess.”

He nodded his head and walked over, he looked you up and down.

“Come on.”

He walked the opposite direction and you looked at him in pure confusion.

“Well hurry up, I ain’t getting myself fuckin’ killed because your dumbass is still standing there.”

Jogging over, you walked alongside of him, and he picked up something from a tree, which held a few small dead animals.

You didn’t say anything about it, knowing you had to do what you needed in order to survive these days.

Neither of you said anything, he didn’t exactly strike you as a bug conversationalist, and you didn’t want him to change his mind about you coming.

Maybe in days long gone you would’ve thought twice about following a stranger, but no you didn’t have those luxuries, he could’ve killed you before you realised he was there, and he didn’t.

In order to survive you needed company, you couldn’t do it on your own, and you wouldn’t be able to keep going along for much longer you knew that.

He led you back to a camp, with other people, and you raised your weapon.

“Put the damn stick down moron.”

“I don’t know if they’re safe.”

“Then why the fuck would you follow me?”

He snatched the stick from you, pushed you back a few steps and you winced, covering your ribs with a pained groan.

“Because I can’t make it on my own asshole.”

“Wait here.”

You nodded, slowly sitting down next to a beat down truck, and watched as he went to go talk to others.

Being able to sit down your pain finally caught up with you, and you passed out from exhaustion and pain.

When you came too again, you were on a bed, somebody holding your hand and you turned your head.

“Lori…?”

She looked up.

“(Y/N)?! Oh god you’re alive, wait here!”

She got up, running out and not even a few seconds later she came back with more people.

The boy jumped on the bed, and you groaned a little bit laughed as you wrapped your arm around him.

“Carl.. hey buddy.. hey…”

“You’re alive…” he sobbed.

“Yeah bud, I won’t let a few suckers bring me down.”

“Carl come on, let’s wait outside.”

Lori introduced you to Carol, and Carol looked you over.

“Dale thinks you’ve probably bruised a couple of ribs, nothing too bad. But your arm we don’t have the medicine for that.” Carol said.

You slowly sat up, swinging your legs over the bed.

“I do, my bag.”

Lori handed it over and you tipped everything out, showing a few bottles of antibiotics.

“Grabbed what I could when I saw the chance.”

“These will work, keep taking them a few times a day.” Lori said.

You nodded and looked out the window.

“Come on, let’s introduce you to everybody, you can stay with me and Carl, and I know Shane wants to see you.”

“Shane? And.. and Rick…?”

Lori looked at you, and you clenched your jaw.

“Lori.. where’s my brother…?”

“Ask Shane…”

You pushed yourself up, moving past her and out of the RV.

You looked around and found Shane, and you made your way over, holding your hand out as he went to hug you.

“Shane where the fuck is my brother? Where’s Rick?”

“He.. (Y/N) he was.. he was shot before all of this… I.. I tried to save him but I.. he was dead…”

Tears burned your eyes and you shook your head.

“He’s not dead…”

“I’m sorry…”

“No… no Shane my brother ain’t dead, you hear me!? He ain’t dead!”

You dropped to your knees despite the pain, and you rested your head on the ground.

“He.. he’s not dead…”

Lori knelt next to you, hugging you tightly as you mourned the loss of your brother.

You didn’t leave the tent for days, you stayed in there, refusing to talk to anybody, refusing to leave.

“(Y/N)?”

You looked up at Carl, and he walked over, sitting next to you, resting his head on your side.

“Do you think my dad could still be out there…?”

“Yeah… he.. he has to be bud…”

He nodded his head, and you ran your fingers through his hair, soothing his quiet cries.

You stared to move around after a week, but you still needed time to rest and fully heal so you couldn’t go on runs or help with much, but you watched the children for everybody.

Carl mostly kept to your side if he wasn’t with his mom.

“I’m cold.” Sophia said.

“Alright, wait here I’ve got a spare blanket in my bag.”

You made your way back to you sister in laws tent, and you stepped in only to freeze at the sight of your sister in law making out with your brothers best friend.

They quickly pulled apart and you grabbed your blanket.

“(Y/N)…” Lori whispered.

“Didn’t take you all that long to get over him huh?”

“No.. not its.. it’s not like that..”

You shook your head.

“I’ll find somewhere else to sleep, and both of you better stay the fuck away from me.”

You left, making your way back to the little girl and you wrapped her up in your blanket.

Going back to the now empty tent, you grabbed your things and set them down by a fire.

“Are you leaving?” Carl asked sadly.

“Nah buddy, I’m staying, I just want somewhere else to sleep for a while cause you snore so loudly.”

He hit your arm and you laughed a little at him.

You didn’t want to share a tent with anybody else, so as they all went to bed you stayed by the embers of the fire.

“Ain’t gonna help much if you die of cold or exhaustion.”

You glanced up, and you shrugged a little.

“Rather not stay in the same tent as my sister in law right now.”

Daryl looked at you, he knew what was going on of course.

He didn’t speak much but he saw a lot, so he knew why you didn’t want to stay in the tent with her.

“Get your shit.”

You looked at him.

“Let’s go.”

You pushed yourself up, and you followed him to his tent where he kicked some stuff aside, gesturing with his hand down the middle.

“You stay on your half, I stay on mine. I ain’t sharing my shit with you though.”

“Deal.”

You sat down, putting your bag under your head and he sat down on his stuff, sharpening a few sticks.

“Hey Daryl?”

“Shut up.”

You laughed again.

“Thanks.”

He said nothing in response.

After a few minutes you felt something hit you in the face and you looked at the sweater in confusion but all he did was get up and leave.

You didn’t want to speak to Lori or Shane, if you wanted peace you would stay in Daryl’s tent knowing that nobody dared to go near it.

“Come on, we’re going to have to talk about what happened!” Shane hissed.

“Get lost!”

“She’s your sister! You can’t just ignore her! She’s beating herself up because you won’t speak to her (Y/N)!”

“Well she should’ve thought about that before cheating on my brother!”

You stormed past Shane and he grabbed your wrist making you wince in pain.

He let go, and was shoved back, and Daryl pushed you towards the tent.

You looked at him but said nothing as you made your way there and Shane left you alone.

“Just break his nose, shuts every guy up.”

“Rather let him suffer knowing he’s the reason I won’t speak to him or her.”

Daryl half shrugged.

“Whatever then, I’m going huntin’. Stay in the tent.”

You nodded and he left.

You decided to take a nap, having sleepless nights made keeping a level head hard, it was easier to sleep knowing that there wasn’t many walkers during the day.

What woke you up was the commotion, and you got up, grabbing your weapon, hand on your ribs as you walked up to the main camp.

You heard Daryl shouting.

“Daryl?! Hey! What’s going on?!”

He pushed himself away from the people, and he looked at you.

“Those fuckers left my brother to die!”

You placed a hand on his chest.

“Then we go find him, alright? Get your stuff, you and me, we’ll go get him. Okay?”

“You can’t go out there asshole, you’re hurt.”

“I don’t give a fuck, he’s your brother. We’ll get him back.”

He nodded, placing a hand on your shoulder and followed him down to his tent to help get everything ready.

Steps came closer and he grabbed his weapon.

“Are you in there?” Lori asked softly.

“What the fuck do you want?” You snapped.

“Come outside, please?”

Sighing, you put your knife down and got up, making your way over to the front of the tent and stepped out.

You looked at her, then your gaze snapped behind her.

“Oh thank god…”

Rick rushed over, pulling you into a hug and you yelped in pain, dropping to your knees.

He quickly dropped in front of you, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, hey, are you alright? Are you okay?”

“Bruised ribs…”

He nodded, pulling you in for a more gentle hug this time, and you hugged him back, tears streaming down your face.

“You’re alive…” you whispered.

“Course I am….” He whispered back.

Rick held you closely, not wanting to let you go.

It was one thing thinking he lost his wife and son, but he couldn’t bare the thought of loosing his little sister as well.

He placed his hand on the back of your head, trying to hide the fact he was crying.

“I got you… I’ve got you… it’s alright…” he whispered.

“They… they told me you died Rick…”

He pulled away, smiling at you.

“I’m alright, you see? A little worse for wear but I’m alright, we’re safe…”

You nodded, sniffling a little, you clasped your hand tightly around his, and he held back just as tight.

“Whatever goes on now, we go through it together, like when we was kids, yeah?” He asked.

“Us against whatever crap life throws…”

He nodded, giving you smile.

“Yeah.. yeah exactly…”

He looked at you, and he pulled you in for another hug, and you glared at his wife from behind his back and she slowly walked away.

You weren’t going to tell him what you saw, he was safe, and you weren’t going to do anything to put your brother in danger.

You pulled back and looking at your brother again.

“You smell like shit Rick…”

He chuckled, shaking his head at you.

“Well thanks, I missed you too.”

[ryuichirou]

I saw the size difference art of the Diasomnia boys and all I can say is, damn Sebek you need a bra for those honkers. Much like the post about NRC boys’ butts, do you have any headcanons on their chest sizes?

Omg Sebek and his honkers 😭 the boy looks straight-up indecent lol I get what you mean!

With how my brain is wired, I feel like in a lot of ways it’s going to correlate with the genderswap chest sizes I also wrote some time ago (update: NOPE IT’S NOT LOL), but I’ll still go through the list! Since this is more about muscle definition, right? Right… Alright, who else got honkers…

(I also don’t have much to say about some of them, sorry in advance!)

Riddle – pretty flat. We’ve seen his Beach Wear Groovy, the boy is pretty flat… there is sooome softness if you really squint, but maybe it’s just an optical illusion??

Ace – also kind of flat, but with soooome definition. Nothing to write home about, really, even though he’d like to have a big muscular chest someday.

Deuce – he also has soooome definition, but is flatter than Ace; Ace just uses his upper muscles a bit more.

Trey – definitely the biggest one of his dorm, and even though it’s muscular, it’s also surprisingly soft and squishy.

Cater – I feel like he’s pretty plain, just a flat boy.

Leona – definitely on a bigger side; he’s also kind of soft-ish, but more toned than Trey.

Ruggie – sometimes it looks like he has negative boobs. He does have some muscles, but doesn’t eat nearly enough protein to get any type of boobs :(

Jack – big boy. Very big boy. Huge. His boobs are big and heavy, definitely even bigger than Sebek’s. There is some softness to them, but not much: Jack’s boob could kill a person…

Azul – surprisingly… he’s pretty lean, but his chest is pretty noticeable when it isn’t buried under layers of clothes. It’s not big or anything, but he works hard on his body, so it’s like a natural result of that. He has to keep the perfect balance in his exercise or diet though, because it’s pretty easy for his chest to either start losing definition or becoming a bit soft.

Floyd and Jade – biiiiiig. Not as big as Jack or even Sebek, and I absolutely overdo it whenever I draw these two lol But both of them are pretty big when it comes to the chest region; Floyd is a tiiiiny bit bigger though.

Kalim – pretty close to Ace and Deuce, but also kind of soft!

Jamil – nicely defined, muscular, a little soft, but mostly toned. A bit similar to Leona’s but a size smaller lol

Vil – now this is who takes this whole thing very seriously; just like with his ass, he makes sure that his chest looks exactly how he wants it to look: it’s not flat at all, it’s actually pretty well defined, but he also paces himself just so it doesn’t get too big. There is pretty much zero softness in it, too.

Rook – terminator. Pretty much as big as Trey, but with zero softness lol He hides his boobs just as successfully as he hides his huge butt.

Epel – flat, but with more meat than Riddle, for example. But it’s not nearly enough meat for his chest to be pronounced… ahhh maybe one day! >:(

Idia – skeleton… no boobs for this man… but it’s okay we love him this way <3

Ortho – yeah, this one is also pretty obvious lol

Lilia – FLAAAAT Flatitio Lilia Flatticelli is his full name. But to be fair, I think he had more pronounced chest when he was younger. But it was never big by all means, just a bit more defined.

Silver – yeah, you’ve seen the art, I think he’s pretty big, but not as big as Sebek… he also has some softness to him, but it’s mostly because his body is more relaxed than Sebek’s, who’s always super tense.

Sebek – HONKERS. That are also hard as rock unfortunately… I feel like Sebek could break a pencil with his boobs somehow. I’m not sure how, but he might.

Malleus – it’s pronounced, it’s very noticeable when he wears anything tight, but it’s not super big.

[sinner-as-saint]

Wanna Be Yours

Bucky Barnes x Reader (Uni AU)

Run-through: Your best friend has been acting weird, and one night while you’re hanging out like you both usually do, he finally tells you why he’s been acting kind of different lately. 

Themes: friends-to-lovers, fluff, smut, soft, car sex 

“Hey, Buck.” 

You couldn’t even hide the surprise in your tone as you answered his call, well into the evening. You heard him chuckle on the other side. 

“Why do you sound surprised?” He asked, his voice deeper on the phone than in real life. 

You scoffed, “Because I haven’t seen or heard from you in a whole week. Who ghosts their best friend like this? Seriously, Buck. You even left me alone at the party the other night, I had to hang out with people I don’t necessarily like.” 

He was quick to apologise, “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. I’ll make up for it. Will you let me make up for it? I’ll come get you right now and we’ll grab something to eat and go for a drive, okay? We… I have stuff I need to tell you.” 

Just like that, he sounded all soft and sweet like a lost little puppy and you melted. “Asshole.” You muttered. “You’re lucky I miss you so much. Meet me downstairs in 10.” 

And just as planned, he was outside your building waiting for you. Leaning against his car, wearing his signature dark jeans and soft sweater - brown tonight. Bucky was your rock ever since day one. Your best friend. 

He smiled so big as you approached him, opening his arms waiting for you to walk into them as always. Except you got up close and punched his muscular arm instead, making him hiss in pain. “Ow!” 

“Fuck you, first of all. Second of all, do that shit again and I’ll punch you in the mouth.” You spat, walking over to the passenger side and hopped in. Bucky got in right after you, apologising already. But you cut him off, “Food first, you’re paying.” You said, leaning back into the seat, getting comfy as he drove the two of you away from campus. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

–

Bucky got you your favourites; he had almost all your orders memorised by now. Which was very sweet of him. 

After grabbing your food, Bucky drove to that one park you always went to whenever you needed to be away from uni. It was a safe, cosy little park with a little pond - surrounded by pine woods. 

It was quite a chilly night so the windows fogged up real quick as you both ate and talked. 

“I was worried, Buck.” You told him, “You’ve never done this before, a simple text would suffice, you know? I wouldn’t bother you if you needed your space but I was really worried when you didn’t respond to my messages, you weren’t even showing up to classes.” 

He sighed, putting his drink down as he leaned his head back. “I’m sorry. I was… figuring shit out. I needed to be away for a while.” 

You put your ice cream down, and turned a little to the side to face him better. “I thought we promised to share the hard stuff. You don’t have to carry it all alone, that’s what friends are for. That’s what I’m for.” 

He turned his head to face you, the street lights made his eyes look electric. His face was a little less lively than usual. The bags under his eyes were slightly more prominent, but he was still the pretty boy everyone knew him as. “I know.” He said softly. “I wanted to tell you, trust me. But I was scared, I guess.” 

You frowned, “Scared? Of what?” 

“What you would think.” He answered. 

“Bucky…” You placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, his sweater warm and soft under your touch. “I would never judge you. No matter what you do. I mean, we’ve seen each other at our worst. It’s fine if you don’t want to share or you-,” 

He cut you off quickly, “No, I want to.” 

You nodded, “Well then, I’m here. I’m always here.” 

Bucky took a deep breath. Exhaled loudly, then said, “I fell in love.” 

You couldn’t hold back the gasp which escaped your mouth. “You little shit!” You exclaimed, suddenly excited. “Wait, wait, wait, is it that girl from the library? The one who asked for your number like two weeks ago? No? Oh my god, is it the one you met at the café?” You listed off all the potential girls he could’ve fallen for but Bucky just rolled his eyes. 

He frowned, “What- no, no, not them.” He sighed, “Just, someone. And she’s really special. She’s so smart, and funny. She’s hilarious. It’s like, all my problems disappear when I’m around her. She makes even the worst days better just by being there, you know? And beautiful, my God she is beautiful. She captures the attention of everyone whenever she walks into a room, and she doesn’t even know the kind of effect she has on people.” Bucky spoke dreamily. 

You sat there, listening. 

“She’s like a walking talking daydream. Everything about her is just, so fucking perfect. She’s a bit of a nerd, but she tries to hide it by being sassy and thinks that no one notices how she fangirls over the littlest of things.” Bucky smiled, clearly lovesick. 

You had a faint smile on your face as you watched him going on and on about this girl. 

“And she was a bit mean too, you know?” He chuckled, “When I first met her, I was slightly intimidated but then she quickly became one of my best friends. Turns out, when she does lower her walls and lets you in, she actually has the kindest, biggest and warmest heart I’ve ever known.” 

Your heart pounded at that. Because as far as you knew, Bucky didn’t have any other girl friends. So… 

“Bucky, you-,” You started, but he cut you off gently. 

“Please let me say it, I’ve been carrying this around for too long. I-It’s driving me insane, she drives me insane. Let me say it, please.” He pleaded. 

You nodded, finding it hard to breathe all of a sudden. 

Bucky continued, maintaining eye contact, “She’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and no one’s ever made me this nervous. She is just… so lovely. And I didn’t even realise how much I love her, until I saw her in someone else’s arms recently and the only thought in my head was how badly I wanted to beat the living shit out of the bastard who held my girl instead of me.” 

You couldn’t hold the intensity of his stare any longer, not as you thought about how about two weeks ago Bucky began acting weird the moment he saw you and another one of your friends, Steve, hugging. 

You laughed nervously, playing with the zipper of your jacket. “She sounds incredible.” You said, then you asked, “Why aren’t you with her right now, then?” 

“I am.” 

Two words. Two little words and your eyes watered. Bucky sighed from beside you. “Look at me,” He spoke softly, reaching out to take your chin in between his fingers, turning your face towards him. His eyes glanced down at your mouth, and back up to your eyes a couple of times. 

The tension was dense, hot and heady. You could hear your heartbeats, echoing in your ears as you looked into his pair of pretty blue eyes. “Bucky…” You whispered, unable to say anything else but his name. Was it a plea, a warning, relief? You didn’t know. 

He spoke so softly, “I can’t pretend anymore. I love you, and I can’t keep lying to the both of us. Just, give me a chance. Let me love you.” 

You were quiet for a good few seconds, then as you parted your lips to speak, Bucky leaned in and pressed his mouth to yours. Your hand instinctively reached up to cup his face, his stubble brushing against your fingertips in a familiar, warm way. 

You tilted your head to the side slightly, kissing him properly. Bucky has always been your safe place. And right now this felt safe. This kiss felt warm, and safe. 

His hand held you by the chin, keeping you in place as he kissed you deeply, passionately. Sighing and groaning softly against your mouth like he’s been starving for this very moment. “Fuck…” He whimpered quietly against your lips, and the sound of it made your stomach flip. “Come here, I need you closer.” He leaned back into his seat, pulling you onto his lap. 

And you shifted over the console, straddling his thighs as you lowered yourself down on his lap. Your arms went around his neck, and his wrapped around your waist, pulling you snug against him. 

He gave you a faint, nervous smile. “Hi,” He whispered, rubbing the tip of his nose with yours. 

“Hi,” You whispered, smiling down at him as he slowly trailed his hands downwards till they rested at the curve of your butt. You could feel his warmth on your skin even through the material of your skirt, and it made your heart race even more. “So this is why you’ve been missing for a week? You couldn’t have just told me?” You asked, placing your forehead against his. 

He placed a soft kiss on your chin before saying, “I was scared, like I said, of what you’d think. I needed to think it through, you know? I couldn’t risk losing you as a friend. Then I saw you with Steve and I just… you know the rest.” 

You couldn’t resist teasing him for it, “You got jealous when you saw me hugging Steve, huh?” You asked, smirking. 

Bucky pulled you even closer, kissing down your chin as he said, “I did. And he’ll never touch you again.” 

You giggled uncontrollable as he kissed down your neck, playfully biting and nibbling on your skin. “Hey!” You exclaimed, contorting and laughing on his lap, “Okay, okay fine! No more hugging Steve.” 

Bucky pulled away to look at you, “I want you. I wanna be yours. I’ll be so good to you,” He whispered, one of his hands slipping under your shirt, gently caressing your skin. “I love you, I have since day one and I was just too dumb to see it.” Then he paused for a moment, and asked, “Do you? Love me?” 

You smiled, nuzzling his cheek as you said, “I’ve always loved you. I mean, we’ve been friends since day one. You’ve been my best friend for a couple of years now but it’s always felt like more. It’s always been comfortable and safe with you. You’ve just always felt like…” You trailed off, pulling away to look into his eyes, “Like…” 

“Home.” He finished your sentence, smiling up at you. “You feel like home too. And I’m so stupid for not saying it earlier. But I love you, so so much.” 

Your eyes watered again, “And I love you.” 

He smiled brighter than ever as you leaned in to kiss him. Both of his hands found their way under your shirt, pulling at the hem. You giggled into the kiss before pulling away to get rid of your jacket. You threw it somewhere in the backseat before leaning in to kiss Bucky again. Your hands slid into his hair, his hands inched up your back to undo the clasp of your bra. 

Given the lack of room for proper movement, and both of your desperation combined, you couldn’t bother taking your shirt off completely, you just lifted it up to your chin, bra and all, baring your breasts to him. The chill in the air made your nipples hard, but so did Bucky’s ravenous stare. 

He looked up at you to check in, briefly, before leaning in again and taking one of them in his warm mouth. He moaned, mouth wrapped around one of your tits. Your back arched, giggling and gasping as he teased you, tasted you like he’s been dying to this whole time. You found your hips moving against his, grinding against him. And that got him excited because he nibbled harder on your skin. 

You gasped, laughing as he sucked hungrily on your skin, moving up to your collar bones, down to your breasts and back up. Bucky chuckled when you tugged on his hair, pulling his mouth away from your skin. “What? Did I bite your pretty tits too hard, hmm?” 

You smiled, leaning in to give him a sweet kiss. “Mhmm, stop teasing me.” You whispered, inching closer to him, grounding your hips against his. 

He smirked, looking down to where your skirt had inched up your legs, revealing your thighs, “Yeah? You just can’t wait, can you?” He teased. 

You playfully bit his lip, making him hiss in pain before he chuckled against your mouth. Then you remembered… “Did you really think I was mean when we first met?” You questioned, smirking down at him. 

He laughed, pushing his face against your bare chest and kissing the soft skin between your breasts. “Not mean just… yeah, you know what? You were mean.” He stated, finally looking up at you. “You remember how cold you were to me when I tried talking to you for orientation?” 

You let out a little laugh, “That’s because you were flirting with almost everyone! Besides, you were probably the prettiest boy I’d ever seen and you just came up to talk to me. Just like that, with no warning. I panicked.” You explained, remembering the day so vividly. 

Bucky raised his eyebrows at you, smirking like the cocky little shit he was. “So you thought I was pretty?” 

You grabbed him by the chin and clarified, “No, I thought you were a shameless player.” 

He smiled, leaning in to kiss your neck again. “Well, I’m not. A player, that is. I am, however, very shameless.” He whispered against your skin as his hands slipped under your skirt, his thumbs caressing your inner thighs - making you gasp and whimper quietly as his fingers teased you in between your legs through your underwear. 

“Bucky…” You whined as he leaned down to suck on your tits again, more greedy than earlier as he toyed with your wet folds and clit at the same time 

“Hmm,” He moaned, lips wrapped around your nipple. He released it with a ‘pop’. “I need you, baby. I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t-,” 

Before he could even finish his sentence, your impatient hands were at the zipper of his pants. You paused, fingers toying with the waistband of his underwear, you looked up to his eyes - quietly questioning. 

He gave you a lazy smile, eyes hooded with lust. “Go on, baby. Take it out, it’s all yours.” His voice was suddenly deeper than earlier. And only then did you realise that there was a light drizzle outside, which made the air even colder; making you crave his body heat even more. 

You lifted off of his lap at the same time as you both lowered his pants and underwear to free his erected cock. You whined breathlessly at the mere sight of it, and Bucky groaned impatiently as he grabbed your hips, pulled your thin underwear to the side and aligned his cock to your entrance before gently lowering you down on him. 

You moaned as you slid down his thick cock, his stare burning on your face as he thrust up into you, all the way in. “Fuck,” He swore, then leaned in to give you a wet, messy kiss. “You okay, baby? You need a moment?” 

You shook your head, no you didn’t need a moment. What you needed was more of him. “Just… move, please, you feel so good.” You whispered, kissing down his chin as he obeyed, and moved. 

You whined as he grabbed your hips and guided you up and down his cock, stretching you out in the process. You held onto his shoulders as you rode his cock, bouncing on it while you moaned for him, bending a little so as to not hit the roof of the car too hard. 

“Oh, Buck…” You felt him fill you up nicely each time, the pressure in between your legs getting hotter and hotter. 

Bucky threw his head back, grunting at how good you felt, “You had me daydreaming about this wet little cunt, you know?” He let out a strained moan, as he thrust into you over and over again, while also bringing you down on his cock each time with enough force to make your tits bounce. “I was thinking about all the ways I’d fill you up once you let me. If it were up to me, I’d always keep you full of me, full of my cock.” 

“Damn it, who knew you had such a filthy mouth?” You said, unable to hold back your moans when he placed his thumb over your clit and rubbed it gently, in time with his thrusts. You forced yourself to look into his eyes, and the feral look in them only made you clench harder around him. 

You bit your lip to hold back your moans as he thrust his hips up more into you, your eyes rolled back and you moaned out his name as you came so close to coming undone for him. “Bucky…” 

“You’re gonna come for me, baby?” He asked, “You’re gonna come all over my cock, huh?” 

You answered after a loud whimper, “Yes… please, can I come?” 

He cupped your cheek and traced your mouth with his thumb, “Go on, baby. Come all over my cock. Come for me…” Your walls clenched violently around his cock. You came hard, whimpering and crying for him and gasping for breath. Bucky came right after you, his warm load spilling inside you as he wrapped his arms around you and held you like you were the most fragile thing in the world. Like he hadn’t just rammed his cock in and out of you like an animal. 

You caught your breath, wrapped in Bucky’s arms. Your head rested on his shoulder as you tried to calm your racing heart. 

“Look at me, baby, look at me.” Bucky murmured, cupping your face in both of his hands as he examined your expression. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” 

You gave him a satiated, lazy smile. “No, Buck. You didn’t hurt me.” You whispered, feeling his cock inside you still as his cum leaked out of you steadily. You chuckled and said, “We made a mess in your car.” You hid your face into the crook of his neck again. 

Bucky laughed, kissing your head as he said, “I hope you’re in the mood to make an even bigger mess in the backseat, baby.” 

[theladyofdeath]

Better or Worse {Epilogue}

Nessian. Angst. Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

Better or Worse Masterlist

A/N: The end. :) Thank you for reading! We've appreciated all the love and support. I'm hoping to start posting a new project soon. Stay tuned!

~ Cassian ~

“What the hell are you doing?!”

I freeze, blinking, and slowly slide my eyes to where Nesta is standing at the kitchen’s threshold, gaping at me.

“What?”

“You can’t have her that close to the stove! What if she catches on fire?!”

I look down to where Evelyn is strapped to my chest, swaddled in the cotton wrap that leaves only her face popping out, her little cheek squished against my chest. She’s sleeping, snoring softly, and perfectly content.

“Nes.” I give my beautiful wife a look as I desperately try not to roll my eyes. “She’s three weeks old. What’s she going to do? Fling herself into the pot?” Nesta opens her mouth to protest, but I go on. “There’s only one burner on, and it’s on low, and it’s the back burner, and I’m letting it simmer. I’m just giving it a quick stir. I can assure you that no infant will be harmed in the stirring of this sauce that will blow your fucking mind. Calm down.”

As soon as those two little words leave my mouth, I know I fucked up. Backtrack. Rewind. The spoon in my hand stills as I clear my throat, scared to even look in her direction. “And…by ‘calm down’...I mean…I love you.”

She approaches, her footsteps light, and she stops beside me. “Be glad I love you too or I’d be tossing your balls into that pot right about now.” 

Pain. I feel physical pain at those words. Cringing, I set down the spoon and turn to face her. She’s not looking at me at all, but at the little bundle of joy we brought home three weeks ago. Nesta’s eyes are soft as she leans down and presses a soft kiss to Evelyn’s forehead. 

We were instantly in love. From the moment she was given to us, we knew that we were meant to be her parents. It’s hard as hell, raising an infant, and although it’s only been three weeks and I know it’s going to get a hell of a lot harder, I have never felt so fucking blessed. 

“Everyone should be getting here soon,” Nesta says, quietly, eyes meeting mine at last. She reaches up onto her toes and kisses me, softly. 

Rhys, Feyre, Azriel, and Elain were all in the waiting room at the hospital when Evelyn was born, but we haven’t seen them since. They’ve given us space to settle into our new roles, into this new life we’ve built for ourselves. The solitude, although necessary and beautiful, has been driving us a little crazy, though. Two days ago, Nesta came to me in tears, partly out of exhaustion, I’m sure, and told me she needed her sisters.

So tonight, I made dinner. 

Evelyn is in a pretty good routine and will most likely sleep for the rest of the night, only waking up to eat, but she can sleep anywhere. I have no doubt we’ll be passing her around so that everyone can get their baby fix. 

They all arrive together, six on the dot, and we greet each other as if we haven’t been all together in years instead of a matter of weeks. I don’t even care that the food has gone cold by the time we sit around the table, too much time being spent doting over the baby for it to stay warm. 

Even cold, it’s delicious, I must say. We eat and talk and laugh, and tell them all about every little detail of the last three weeks. Nyx is smitten most of all, wanting to sit next to his cousin at all times and hold her hand. He’ll be a fantastic big brother and I can’t help but wonder if Rhys and Feyre will have more kids. I know Rhys wants a house full, but he’s not the one doing the hard work. 

Once we’re full and the table has been cleared, we get comfortable in the living room. Elain is holding Evelyn while Azriel rocks a sleeping Sera. I’m convinced the two of them will be best friends and will most likely raise hell together. 

I can’t wait. But then again, yes I can, because she’s so sweet and innocent in this newborn stage that I don’t want that to change. Then again, I can’t wait to watch her grow, to see all those milestones and watch her grow into her own person. 

“Careful, dad, you’re getting teary-eyed,” Nesta whispers, leaning into me and patting my knee. 

I chuckle and pull her closer. “It’s the lack of sleep.”

Nesta rests her head on my shoulder. “Liar.” 

She’s right. It was a lie. I’m overwhelmed, so overwhelmed with love and contentment. We worked so hard to be where we’re at and although it’s not how we originally imagined, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d endure every bout of heartache all over again that led us here, to this, to her. 

Nesta.

Evelyn.

I watch as our family loves on our daughter, watch as our little circle becomes whole. I had dreamt of this, we both had for so long. The fact that it’s now reality is unreal. I feel like I’m dreaming and the fact that I’m not, yes…has me on the verge of tears. 

One must slip past my defenses because Nesta reaches up and wipes her thumb across my damp cheek. 

No one comments on my crying and I feel zero shame. There is no shame in being unimaginably happy. 

“Now I have two cousins,” Nyx says from where he’s climbing onto Rhys’ lap. He scrunches his nose. “When will I have boy cousins? Or a brother? There’s too many girls.”

Rhys laughs quietly. “These girls are going to grow up to kick your butt if you keep talking like that. Especially with these two brutes as their fathers.” 

Azriel snorts. “Cass will have Evie lifting weights daily by the time she’s two. She’ll probably be able to kick my butt.” 

Nyx laughs at this, head thrown back, his giggles loud. 

We stay sitting, talking, reminiscing until even Nyx is snoring soundly in his father’s arms. By the time we finally say goodnight, I’m spent. Exhausted. Can hardly keep my eyes open.

But I don’t care.

Sleep is irrelevant when everything has fallen into place, when every time your eyes are open you feel like nothing can go wrong. We’ve already had our heartbreak, have already faced our trials, and although I’m not naive and know that trials will still come…

I know, without a doubt, that everything will be okay. 

I’m sliding into bed as Nesta lays Evelyn in her bassinet next to her side of the bed. I watch as she stares at our daughter, knowing her heart is bursting with pride and love, mirroring my own. I lay down quietly, my eyes remaining on the outline of her frame in the darkness. 

“She’s perfect, Cass,” she whispers, and those damn tears return. 

“Yeah,” I agree, quietly. “She is.”

She climbs into bed and snuggles up close to me, my arms going around her without a thought. We close our eyes, quickly drifting into the four hours of sleep we’ll be getting, at most, before the soft cries of a newborn fills our silent bedroom. 

Sleep is irrelevant.

Our daughter is perfect.

My wife is the love of my life.

And I am whole. 

[ashsostrange]

I'm honestly surprised at the amount of people who are still supporting him.He's got his little ((whats left of them at least)) fan base wrapped around his fingers.

“ He’s a minor he cant think for himself, his brain ain't developed!!” “ You don't know what it's like for him at home!” my fav so far “y'all are ablest and racist!! Yall don't care about black people!”

Bitch no one gives a fuck that he is black!! Motherfucker is telling people/threatening to eat glass to get away from what he's said to people. Calling someone out for gaslighting and trying to manipulate people with that shit ain't racist. Also using self diagnosis and laying about taking pill that will “get you high” as a way to get out of all his call outs. This is the stupidest shit I have seen while being on tumblr for the past three or so years like damn!!💆🏾‍♀️

perioddd!! lemme talk my shit again

i honestly giggled when his bf tried to say “y’all hate black people” when pretty much everyone speaking on him is black. why would i do that bc he’s black?? i’m black, not to mention a darskin girl. do with that info what you will.

ppl wna make us seem like bullies so bad. this isn’t just about what happened w catty, hell, it’s hardly about her at all! it’s ab his behavior in general. it’s inappropriate! if he would’ve just owned up, there wouldn’t have been a problem. i’m not obsessed w this nigga, i don’t care to go out of my way to make a post ab him everyday. he’s the one who escalated this further. he only wants us to “mind our business” when we’re not coming for his neck.

ab his mental health, if he doesn’t have a real diagnosis, he needs to not claim mental illnesses like that, but rather acknowledge that something is wrong with him. if you make a mistake, you need to not blame every damn thing on your said mental illness. if anything it’s a justification, but never an excuse. take the initiative to look at yourself and decide if you’re in the right headspace to be on the internet or not. i struggle with mental health, but not in the way he allegedly does. if ik i’m not in the right headspace for something, i step away. he needs to do that. and invest in a diary.

i genuinely don’t know why people are defending him when he did this to himself. if woulda stopped riding my dick like beyoncé rode that surfboard, then maybe we wouldn’t be here right now. accountability isn’t a bad thing. we’ve all made mistakes. i know i’ve made many, it’s about how you address them that matters.

i was literally defending his lame ass when he was sending inboxes as an anon to cause more mess between these two girls. yao was saying he was behind the anon and obv i didn’t believe her bc it wasn’t making sense to me at the time, and there was no real way to prove it. but then he started sending her hella inboxes and tagged all his mutuals saying “war has begun” a whole day later. when i tell you i showed one of my bsfs that post and we LAUGHEDD 🤣🤣🤣 nigga this is tumblrrrr, not a battlefield! from that day i’ve been watching him lmao. didn’t wna say anything about his behavior until i gathered more info cuz i’m not a mean girl (and didn’t want his army bombarding my inbox), but this is ridiculous.

and i’m so glad lia dmed me one day so we could discuss his weirdness. we literally played his ass and he didn’t know. bro was sending her msgs talking ab “i liked your new fic, but you blocked me” and he was the only one she had blocked recently. he sent so many hateful msgs under anon after that, nd he was reblogging it acting like it wasn’t him like… ok weird nigga.

i’m not ableist or “racist” (i’m literally fucking black!) fuck i gotta b ableist for? i’m the last person to rock w any kind of tomfoolery, and all my mutuals and irls know that. i’m unapologetically me on this blog. what you see is who i am.

“he’s a minor!!” so are the rest of us dealing with his bs bro. i’m literally SIXTEEN 😭

like i said, in most situations, if multiple people (with good morals) are telling you that you’re wrong, you can’t be right. i was never disrespectful with him to begin with. you get disrespectful with me, i get disrespectful with you. don’t care who you are ✌️like thank yewww

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Nyota Uhura

By Ames

All channels open! We hope you’ve been enjoying our character-by-character spotlight series here on A Star to Steer Her By, because we’ve got a ways to go! This week, we’re shining the spotlight on the OG Enterprise’s communications officer, Lieutenant Uhura, whose mere presence on the bridge did more than people give credit for. I talked about this a bit when I covered Nichelle Nichols’s autobiography, but everything she did as a prominent Black woman character on this show was progressive, boldly representative, and kickass.

While we wish her character got more to do (that’s the understatement of the year), she also got some absolutely triumphant moments, and also a handful of moments that could have been handled better. So join us as we celebrate Nyota Uhura as you scroll on below or listen to the banter on this week’s podcast episode (coverage starts at 1:19:26). We hope you brought your dancin’ fronds.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best Moments

Sorry, neither I’d say you can’t get much more badass than this, but I also know what else is on this list. When Sulu is swashbuckling around and wants to rescue the “fair maiden” in “The Naked Time,” Uhura’s response of “sorry, neither” drops so many mics it blows out the speaker. And Nichelle adding the line herself, especially this early in the series, is nothing short of awesome.

Now that’s what I call music, stardate 2126.1 This is just a fluffy moment from “The Squire of Gothos,” but when Uhura starts playing the harpsichord per Trelane’s request and she seemingly magically knows how, it’s super adorable. Watching the pleased look on her face as she rocks out on an unfamiliar instrument is a fun moment from a fun episode, even if Trelane did address her pretty tactlessly first.

I can think no one better equipped to handle it Throughout The Original Series, we see background characters sliding into other roles when needed, and we’ve seen Uhura or Rand at the front stations before for sure. But when Scotty’s away in “Who Mourns for Adonais?” and Uhura hops into a technician’s uniform to rig up a subspace bypass circuit AND get commended by Spock, it’s clear she knows her stuff!

The game has rules Uhura really gets to shine in “Mirror Mirror,” so much so it’s on this list twice. Even though she’s dropped into the deep end, Uhura adapts to the situation, blends in with the mirror crew enough to enact a plan, and uses mirror Sulu’s obvious lechery as a weapon against him in an act so convincing she has him eating out of the palm of her hand!

There’s not enough room on this pad for the both of us Later in “Mirror Mirror,” Uhura straight up overpowers Marlena Moreau, yoinking a phaser out of her hands and cooling off a tense situation in which the captain’s woman was demanding that she go with them back to the good (or at least better) universe. Sorry, toots, there’s only room for one femme fatale on this ship, and she just handed you your own ass.

Only the sweetest creature known to man Could you blame Uhura for naively succumbing to the cuteness of tribbles and bringing one aboard? I mean, you could, but you’d be wrong because Uhura’s inclination in “The Trouble with Tribbles” to accept the tribble as a gift from Cyrano Jones and to share her offspring with the crew comes from a place of generosity and kindness, and I’ll not hear otherwise.

It is not allowed to refuse selection Sorry for the whiplash because we’re going from a fun episode about tribbles, to watching a Black woman having to fight off a rapist in “The Gamesters of Triskelion” (this is what happens when I order lists chronologically). It’s an uncomfortable scene and you have to listen to Uhura brutally screaming offscreen and watch her battle off a giant brute in shadow, but holy shit, she beats him back.

The future feminists want Somehow, it takes until The Animated Series to finally see women in control of the Enterprise. We give so much kudos to Uhura and Nurse Chapel in “The Lorelei Signal” for showing that each and every one of them is capable of commanding the ship, rescuing the men, and saving the day, all while having to wear those really unfortunate skirts that don’t even cover their asses.

Fool! Human females are intelligent “The Slaver Weapon” is a fascinating episode because it doesn’t feature Kirk at all, giving other characters a chance to shine. We already covered that Sulu becomes the champion of the episode by virtue of being neither a female or a vegetarian (both shunned in Kzinti culture), but Uhura does get some moments herself, like when she escapes their police web, if only briefly.

Get in the closet What might be Uhura’s best highlight comes in The Search for Spock, because movies have more time for secondary characters to do stuff. So when Uhura locks Mr. Adventure in the closet, it is a triumph for her character. Not only does it help her and the crew save the day, but this guy was being a prick to her about her job assignment, and she shuts him the hell up. Hell yes.

Shakespeare is better in the original cetacean Spock may have figured out that the probe in The Voyage Home was trying to communicate with Earth’s whales, but Uhura is the one to clean up the probe’s signal to hear what it would sound like somewhere in the ocean underwater. How does one even know how to do that? Do they train all communication officers how to translate messages in and out of whale song?

I’ve always wanted to play to a captive audience Speaking of singing, there’s more singing to talk about (though some of that will come in the next section). Last on the highlight reel is Uhura singing “The Moon’s a Window to Heaven” and using her fan dance in The Final Frontier to distract a bunch of natives while the others steal their horses. Is it also a little cringey and sexist? Probably, but look at her go! As you’ll see, it’s also one of few instances in TOS that her singing didn’t end in calamity…

—

Worst Moments

Oh, on the Starship Enterprise, there’s someone who’s in Satan’s guise In contrast to recent episodes of Strange New Worlds, bad things always happen to Uhura whenever she sings in The Original Series. Her mocking songs about Spock and Charlie in “Charlie X” make Charlie jealous and perhaps a bit offended (rightly so; it’s hella rude of her!), so he takes her voice from her. And to add insult to injury, no one in the mess hall even notices!

Does she not have object permanence? This small moment always bugged me. In “Arena,” after the Metron have boinged Kirk down to the planet to fight the Gorn, Uhura lets out a piercing scream. It’s always struck me as out of place and out of character for someone who’s usually so level headed and cool as a cucumber to go ballistic over an action the Metron literally just told you they were about to do. Overreact much?

I'm sorry, Captain, I can't do that Okay, she may have been under the influence of mind-altering spores, but it still hurts a little to see Uhura sabotage the communications system in “This Side of Paradise.” And since we haven’t given other characters a pass when they were possessed by things or mirror universe equivalents of themselves or are just pod people, we’re going to do the same here.

No singing on the bridge Yet again, Uhura is singing and something bad happens! It’s like she didn’t learn from the “Charlie X” incident. The instance in “The Changeling” is particularly horrifying though because Nomad finds her singing illogical and wipes Uhura’s memories. All of them! And we’re left for the rest of the whole series to wonder if she was able to get them back and still be herself!!

Immortality and eternal beauty Every so often we get glimpses of Uhura’s vanity as well, which is probably just a little bit of latent misogyny on the parts of the writers. We certainly see Uhura almost get tempted by Harry Mudd in “I, Mudd” when he offers to put her in one of the robo-bodies of his androids and keep her young and beautiful. Lucky for us, she uses this offer to her advantage to turn the tables on the robots instead.

It’s not the sun up in the sky It was bad enough for us that “Bread and Circuses” focuses on another parallel-development planet. But Uhura revealing that the denizens aren’t sun worshippers but followers of the Son of God just makes us groan out loud. Not only did this planet somehow develop one of the same religions as Earth (the one that matters to the producers, for those keeping track), but it’s revealed in a terrible pun. Groan.

I see my death! Here’s another strange moment in which Uhura comes across as vain. Like Sulu’s hallucinating knives in space, Uhura suddenly sees herself as an old woman in her reflection in “And the Children Shall Lead.” Gorgan finds the one thing in her mind that would freak her out, and that’s getting old and wrinkly and infirm. Maybe she should have taken one of those android bodies after all.

I would hear your voice and my fears would fade As much as it’s extolled for featuring one of the first interracial kisses on television, the Uhura-Kirk scene in “Plato’s Stepchildren” is not okay. For one thing, it is nonconsensual as hell and played to be unwanted from both parties, but Uhura’s finding comfort in memories of the captain’s leadership gives the impression that she has found a way to get through it by rationalizing that it’s okay. It is seriously not. And it makes what could be a progressive moment in history into something gross.

We’ve learned not to fear words The writers of TOS had some outdated ideas about the utopian future. When Lincoln calls Uhura “a charming negress” in “The Savage Curtain,” for instance, and then apologizes because of how belittling a term that was in his time (and for viewers of the show), Uhura shrugs it off as if, because so much time has passed, the intention in old Abe’s words are just erased. It’s complicated and there are much better ways this scene could have gone than clean-slating centuries of history and context, is what I’m saying.

I refer to the sky machine which enslaves you Oh boy, here’s another complicated moment for Uhura that could have been handled better. The Shore Leave computer in “Once Upon a Planet” has kidnapped Uhura, spends a while explaining slavery to her (of all people!), and then only listens to reason when Kirk and Spock show up to save her. Come on! Uhura was in prime position to save herself, but the two white men have to bring us home?

Feelings we’ve always been afraid to express Sorry, shippers, but whatever the hell is happening between Uhura and Scotty in The Final Frontier just comes across as weird and forced to me. When Uhura is under Sybok’s influence and starts coming on to Scotty, I just find it uncomfortable, and I give Scotty credit for his line “I don't think I could take it in my present condition. ...Or yours.” Otherwise it’d just get gross.

Dujvetlh 'oH nuq? rIn. Finally, and absolutely the worst of all, Uhura is made to look absolutely incompetent at her job in The Undiscovered Country. How, after all these years, does your communications officer seem to not know a damn word of Klingon? In what was meant to be a comic scene of the crew flipping through dictionaries in a panic, Uhura simply makes a fool of herself. In this final movie, it brings a character we loved down a couple pegs and that’s a crying shame.

—

Signal lost, folks. That’s it for this week, but we’ve still got some The Original Series characters to give their moments in the sun, so keep your eyes here. You can also battle with us through season one of Enterprise in our watchthrough over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, hail us on Facebook and Twitter, and maybe don’t sing in front of lifeforms we pick up in space.

[luckquartzed]

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 .

Share at least 5 songs that you associate with or remind you of your muse!

1. Victim Or Survivor, Citizen Soldier & Icon For Hire

I've got more skeletons than cemeteries hold, that made just living life feel like a funeral. The kind of traumatized no one will ever know, that made me fantasize about just letting go. Until I saved my soul, with what I can control. When it rains you can drown or you can be baptized, when you hit rock-bottom, you can cry or climb. Crutch or a crown, only you decide. Victim or survivor? Be born by the battle or just wave a white flag, deciding not to die, that might be all you have. You can make that choice or you can be your past. Victim or survivor?

2. Vices, MOTHICA

Feel like I’m just passing by. It’s not love, it’s just a guy, & it's got me feeling right for the night. But in the morning, when he's gone, I'm alone with all my thoughts, so I gotta drink 'em up 'til I'm numb & ooh, it's never enough. Pass me the cup, got nowhere to run, so pour me another one. I'm taking it all, I'm getting lost. I'm making a fool of myself with all these vices. I really don't know why I'm like this, & I just don't care what the price is. 'Cause I need these vices, oh-oh-oh. If it’s not drugs it’s drinks, if it’s not drinks it’s things, if it’s not things it’s people, places I don’t wanna be, these vices. I don't sleep too much these days & I hate being awake when the sun's out. Lock my door & shut the blinds, they can't see my bloodshot eyes, I got habits I can't hide in the light & ooh , it's never enough. Pass me the cup, got nowhere to run. So pour me another one. I'm taking it all, I'm getting lost, I’m making a fool of myself with all these vices.

3. Poltergeist, Corpse Husband & Omen XIII

Cross my heart & hope to die, I can’t fucking sleep at night. Blew up for the thousandth time, guess I’m always ‘lucky’ right? Pop some shit, then fall behind, I jump the gun & take what's mine. Looking like you seen a ghost, moving like a poltergeist! I'm like, "Wait, what's his name?" I'm like, "Huh, what'd he say, bitch?" I don't want your two cents, you ain't even paid, bitch. We are not the same, I dropped out in seventh grade, bitch. Came up from the grave, fuck everything you claim, bitch. I don't sleep, I'm a freak, when I wake up, I see concrete. Risk my life on concrete, it’s too hard to starve me. Feast, feast, feast, feast! All I see is options, everyone’s got problems, anyone’s a target ( fuck my life ). Can't pay the price 'cause I bet it, thinking ahead, I expect to see dead ends. Count money, count blessings & tuck you a weapon. Somebody knows something you don't, can't be guessing. Where I'm from, we don't think about tomorrow, keep two fingers crossed, nothing is promised. Nobody knows how I feel when I go out, that’s what I learned, 'cause I came from the bottom!

4. Debt Collector, Jhariah

It's all catching up to you now, hope you can run. 'Cause soon your past will come and drag you, down, down. You scammed your way into heaven, 'til the angels realize you're not one of them. Here comes the debt collector, seems you owe him again. Dollars & coins can't cut your cheque this time around. Here comes the debt collector, & you owe him again. Kind words & lies won't save your head, this time around, 'round, 'round. Gravedigger. Cordial killer. Your payment is due, they're looking at you. We’ve done what we can, it's out of our hands, sooner or later, it comes back again.

5. Live Fast Die Young, Hollywood Undead

Here in the city, where the sun beats down on the streets, my demons talking to me, & they're just trying to eat. Sunset's pretty when the waves crash down at my feet. Ain't this life so sweet? Cruising a hundred & three. I'm in my fast lane, I'm moving rapid, & it's do or die, you need to catch back up, man. I'll never slow down, just like a ghost town. James Dean, curtain call, silver screen showdown. I'd rather burn out than fade away, living day to day. I was born an outcast, but who are they to say, what I do is wrong, & I keep moving on? You might choke on these words, but you sing along. So if your heart stops or your hands tied, be the rainfall, cause a landslide, & if they condescend, then something's wrong with them. I've been off, now I'm on again.

I just wanna live while the feeling's there, a hundred on the highway, put the top down, feel the air, kill the snare. Life's a movie, we're the directors. We're the star, don't bother us, no time for the lectures. Many memories, I wouldn't trade for the planet. Life is short, I never take it for granted. God, take me now, in the place that I'm standing. I got no regret, & that's the way that I planned it. I know you all will remember me in pages of history. Oh no, no, maybe we were born to die young. Live fast, then we die young. Live fast, then we die young. We live fast, then we die young.

It's never been in my faith to run, I was born to chase the sun. Mama always told me I was like no one. But I'll know when the time comes. It's never been in my faith to run. I was born to chase the sun. Mama knew I wouldn't be here for long & I'll smile when the time comes.

Tagged by: N/A

Tagging: @barxlupin, @gemkun, @finalism & idk I only did this because @fortifice peer pressured me.

[glenndiferous]

1. Pancakes and Birthday Bois

July 20th means birthdays, and birthdays mean pancakes.

The ingredients engulf my meager studio apartment kitchen countertop. Flour, baking soda, baking powder, buttermilk, oil, sugar, milk, even that good syrup that comes in those glass containers shaped like a maple leaf. Enough assorted toppings to feed a small village, ranging from fruits to candy pieces to mini marshmallows all situated in Tupperware containers. It’s all so perfectly arranged. Tonight, we dine like kings, if those kings dined on the worst pancakes you’ve ever seen in your life.

I’m not too sure when the tradition got started exactly. It must have been in freshman year of high school, or technically the summer after it. We were doing icebreakers in one of the classes on the first day- typical ‘say a fun fact about yourself’ kinda stuff, and these two other kids- Jake and Tulip- mentioned that they shared the same birthday: July 20th. As soon as I heard that, I was like- hey, July 20th is my birthday too, and that was all it took. Before the end of the day, we were bound at the hip. The Birthday Bois. With an ‘I’. Don’t ask why the ‘I’, or why the name at all, given two of the three of us are girls. It was Jake’s idea, and it seemed funny at the time. I’m not gonna get into it.

Tulip and Jake, they’ve been friends since elementary school, so they already had dual birthday celebrations down to a science by the time they met me. But once I joined the gang, and there were three birthdays to celebrate at the same time, we knew had to do something bigger. At some point during our brainstorming process, I mentioned I liked cooking and baking, so we threw out suggestions of some foods to see if we had anything we all enjoyed that I could try my hand at making. Finally, we decided on breakfast for dinner- however many pancakes we could eat, and however many ridiculous toppings we wanted. Pamcakes, we call them, because I’m the one in charge of making them. Tulip tried to make them one time, and she’s gotten mad every time we’ve brought it up since. I swear, that girl could burn water if she tried. But hey, I can’t dance nearly as well as she can, so we’ve both got our strengths, right? She’s the one dancing professionally, while I’m stuck waiting tables at the Hard Rock. I say we’re even.

It isn’t long before I get a knock at the door. Let the fun begin, I think, the corners of my lips tugging into a grinch-like grin.

“Is this the residence of the third Birthday Boi?” Jake’s familiar teasing voice calls from behind the door.

Snorting, I place my hands on my hips and approach the entrance to my apartment. “And just who’s asking?”

“Birthday Boi one and two!” Tulip’s voice chirps.

Enough pleasantries out of the way, I go to pull open the door. “Well, if that’s the case, come on i- oh my god!”

I spot Jake first, probably because he’s wearing the loudest shirt I’ve ever seen, a violently hot pink tee with BIRTHDAY BOIS written across the front in blocky yellow letters. His smile spreads wide at my reaction, and he reaches up to tilt the highlighter yellow shutter shades he’s wearing so I can see him wiggling his bushy brows.

“I think she likes it,” Jake stage whispers to Tulip.

Tulip, in comparison, is wearing something far less ridiculous- a strapless, peachy orange sundress whose skirt ghosts past her knees. I can all too easily imagine her twirling around in it. It’s hard to imagine her off the stage once you see her dance. She looks ridiculously pretty in it, but she looks ridiculously pretty in everything, so that’s not like, shocking.

“Make yourselves at home, idiots,” I say, recovering from my hot pink nightmare surprise long enough to step aside and let them through.

Jake carries his bags with him, collapsing onto my sofa with a contented sigh. “So, what’re we doing?” he asks. “Presents first, pancakes first…?”

“Up to you guys,” I reply. “I’ve already got the stuff out, so it’s ready to go whenever.”

“I’m gonna be honest,” Tulip chimes. “I haven’t eaten… anything today. I need to murder some pancakes.”

I clap my hands, rubbing them together like a mad scientist. “Well, I think that settles it! Alright, pancake murder accomplices, to the kitchen! We’ve got a crime scene to create!”

“Off the couch, dummy,” Tulip calls.

“Pamcakes, pamcakes, pamcakes!” Jake chants, launching off the sofa like a rocket.

For all my talk of them being accomplices, they don’t really do much other than stand there and watch, at least for the pancake-making portion of the activity. Not that I mind, of course. I’ve got a Process. I’ve got an Intricate Pamcake Ritual.

Tulip stands a safe distance away, like she’s worried stepping too close to the stove is going to start another oil fire. Jake, on the other hand, practically rests his chin on my shoulder, watching with fervent, hungry adoration as I pour globs of my mixture into the greased pan.

The pancakes bloom over the metal surface, cream-colored batter slowly stiffening into thick, risen disks and filling the air with the scent of butter and vanilla. My mouth waters- god damn, I always seem to forget how good they smell when I’m not in the moment. I slide each finished pancake onto a plate, shooting Jake the stink eye whenever he tries to nab one. Tulip’s got me covered, though- every time he reaches out for the ever-growing Tower of Pamcakes, she slaps his hand away.

Once the mixture’s depleted and the pancakes are done, I set out the plate on the kitchen counter next to the containers of pre-prepared toppings. “Alright, Bois. Commit as many crimes as you want,” I say.

Jake cheers, immediately snatching up at least five pancakes from the pile before moving to the toppings. A chuckling Tulip follows, taking a far more modest two.

While they’re preoccupied with their own creations, I grab a few for myself. I dump spoonful after spoonful of mini marshmallows, white chocolate chips, and toffee pieces onto the pancakes, then bury it all in a mountain of whipped cream and generous syrup. I’ll commit a food crime, sure, but only in terms of proportions. I still have to eat it, after all. Who’d want to eat something that tastes bad on their birthday? That’d be a waste of perfectly good pancakes!

I catch Jake staring at his pancake crime, studying it like it’s a modern art piece he’s trying to make sense of. His plate is a mess of chopped-up strawberries, cinnamon sugar, chocolate chips, blueberries, caramel- and that’s just what I can make out in the multicolored madness.

“What’s up, Jake?” I ask.

He’s silent for a long time, rubbing his chin contemplatively. “So like. This is a pancake crime. But right now it just kinda looks like a pancake misdemeanor. Maybe even just a pancake tort.”

“When you want, what, a pancake felony?” Tulip asks, in the middle of showering her pancakes with sliced bananas.

“I want a pancake violation of the Geneva Conventions.”

With his intentions uttered, Jake takes to my fridge, practically ripping the door off its hinges to see what’s inside. He moves faster than I’ve ever seen him move, grabbing whatever his hands touch, and soon enough he’s gotten an armful of shit that should never go on pancakes. Then, because he’s not yet satisfied, he raids my pantry as well.

God help us, it all goes on the pancakes. He pours tabasco. He sprinkles broken pieces of pretzels. He plucks grapes off the bunch I had in the fridge, dropping them onto the plate without even bothering to cut them up. When the grapes expectedly roll off the pancakes, he gets creative, spraying a layer of whipped cream atop it all to act as a weird grape trap. He powders the cream with some of the thyme I keep in the pantry closet. I feel like I’m watching the pancake Hindenburg explode.

Somehow, he’s finally satisfied. Thank fuck. I’m not sure I could have handled watching and more of that. He pulls a fork and knife out of my drawer, then sits down on my couch next to Tulip.

“Well, I think you’ve done it, Jake,” Tulip says, not bothering to hide her horror. “That’s not just a pancake crime, that’s a downright pancake calamity.”

“And you love it.”

“And I love it. But… you’re not actually eating that, right?”

“I have to at least have a bite,” Jake counters.

Tulip’s face scrunches like a perturbed muppet. “Do you? That thing looks poisonous.”

“Are you doubting me?” Jake asks.

Tulip shakes her head. “No! I’m just worried that I’ll have to return my birthday present after you inevitably die from eating your war crime.”

“Then I hope you’ve kept your receipt!” exclaims Jake as he carves himself a forkful.

“Don’t start yet, I haven’t even sat down!” I interrupt, rushing as fast as I can to get to the recliner beside the coffee table. Luckily Hard Rock has me well-versed in carrying trays of food around, so I manage not to spill anything on the way there. I put my plate of toffee-marshmallow-chip pancakes aside, pulling out my phone and turning on the camera. This needs to be recorded. This is the kind of shit you show at weddings- or funerals, if Tulip’s hypothesis is correct.

“Tell me when you’re recording,” Jake says, the fork full of nightmares hovering inches away from his mouth.

“Floor’s all yours, bud,” I say.

Tulip angles her body so that she’s shielding Jake. “For legal purposes, neither of us forced him to do this.” Her disclaimer over, she sits back, letting Jake have the stage again.

“Gimme a countdown,” he says.

I hold up my fingers on my free hand for maximum effect. “One… two… three!”

Jake plunges the forkful of his atrocity into his mouth before pulling the utensil out. He chews several times, his cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk.

All is silent for a moment. I can feel my held breath sitting in the back of my throat.

Then, slowly, Jake’s face twists in a mixture of disgust and regret. I stifle my giggling.

“It’s not good,” he weakly manages through his mouthful. His eyes crinkle in despair, semi-visible behind his highlighter yellow shades.

The dam holding back my giggles bursts. I nearly drop my phone in my laughing fit, barely able keep the camera trained on the suffering Jake.

Tulip cuffs him on the shoulder. “No shit, idiot!” she playfully chastises.

To his credit, Jake finishes his mouthful, forcing it down his throat before sticking his tongue out and making a show of trying to wipe the flavor off of it. “Never again,” he mutters darkly, eyes wide and haunted.

Tulip snorts, returning her attention to her own, considerably less cursed pancakes. “Yeah. Next time, leave the food stuff to Pammy.”

“Deal,” he wheezes.

The rest of the pancake consumption passes without issue, unless you count them being too damn delicious an issue. With our food demolished and the plates in the sink, it’s time to move to the gift-giving portion of the evening. Since I’m the one who made the pancakes to begin with, I get my presents first.

“Dibs!” Jake calls, already reaching into his bag. He rips out a small gift- a lumpy, sad wad of a thing that’s more tape than wrapping paper. I take it from him, pulling apart the sticky bits until a very familiar, very vibrant hot pink fabric greets me. I pull the article out, holding it up to confirm. It’s the same BIRTHDAY BOIS tee shirt Jake is wearing.

“Oh my god, Jake,” I breathe.

“You like it?” he asks.

“Of course I like it!” I squeal, hugging it to my chest. “Birthday Bois for life!”

“Birthday Bois for life!” Jake cheers, pumping his fist.

“Okay, okay, my turn,” Tulip urges. She hands me a small, wrapped rectangle, and I tear through the paper shell with reckless abandon. A book cover stares back at me, depicting a gorgeous young woman in the tight embrace of an amorous, even gorgeous-er mermaid, the latter’s tail curled protectively around the human’s legs as they float under the waves. ‘Mermaids and Mischief’, the title reads, ‘by BN Donner’.

“Oh my god, Tutu,” I whisper, heat rushing to my cheeks. My eyes break away from the cover long enough to glance to Tulip, who’s grinning like a loon.

“What is it?” Jake asks, craning his neck as he leans forward on the couch.

Squeaking, I cover the book with the Birthday Bois shirt and put it aside. “A-ah, it’s just a uh- a thing! Girl stuff- you wouldn’t get it! Uh- you want your presents next, Jake?”

“Duh!” he answers, immediately distracted. I nearly empty my lungs. Pammy’s Monsterfucker Secret = 1, Jake = 0.

From Tulip, Jake gets a new notebook for his standup, and from me, he gets an equally dumb shirt- one with a bunch of giraffes standing in a crosswalk next to a stoplight labeled “giraffic jam”. He laughs at the latter for a solid three minutes. Now it’s my turn to smile like an idiot. Hell yeah. Look out, ladies! Pammy Packard wins at cooking and gift-giving.

Tulip, on the other hand, gets a new dance bag from me, along with the same Birthday Bois shirt from Jake.

“We should take a picture with them!” he suggests. “Y’know, to mark the occasion! I mean- we’ve been around a whole quarter of a century.”

“Say no more!” I declare, snatching up the shirt and hurrying into the bathroom.

Shutting the door behind me, I remove my tee, pulling the shirt over my head. I stare at myself in the mirror for a moment, shooting finger guns at my reflection. Honestly, for such a dumb shirt, I’m kind of pulling it off. Have I always looked this good in bright pink, or am I just bored to tears by my black work uniform? Both? Probably both.

Satisfied with my Birthday Boi attire, I come back into the living room. Jake and Tulip are standing by the night-darkened window, downtown Pittsburgh twinkling shittily behind them. In lieu of changing out of her current outfit, Tulip’s simply put the shirt on over it.

“… probably should have done that, huh?” I ask, chuckling.

“Nah, I only did it because I’m wearing a dress,” Tulip points out. “Now get over here.”

I rush over, getting in between them as I pull out my phone and switch the camera to selfie mode. The three of us stand there as I angle it this way and that, trying my damnedest to find a position to hold my arm that allows all of us to show up in the shot. Finally, I line it up successfully, grinning toothily.

“Saaaay twenty-five!” I call, voice cheery.

“Twenty-five!” Tulip and Jake chime.

I press the button a couple of times, making sure I’ve captured a decent image of us. And then I take a couple more, just in case. Once that’s done, I head to the gallery, flicking through the photos to find the best one while the other two loom over my shoulder.

“Ooh, that one’s good- send me that one,” Tulip comments. I stop on the image she’s chosen. To the right of my toothy expression, Jake is sticking his tongue out, and on the left, Tulip is flashing a warm, crooked smile.

My smile grows warm at the sight of it. Damn. I’ve really known these two doofuses for over a little over a decade now. Hell, sometimes it feels like we’ve been friends even longer. I’m not too sure where our lives will have taken us in a decade beyond this moment, but I sure hope that, if we do end up going our separate ways, we keep the Birthday Boi spirit alive from a distance. Maybe one day Jake’ll be a famous comedian, and Tulip will be dancing on Broadway. Maybe I’ll get a better job than the Pittsburgh Hard Rock Café, at a place that serves food more high-brow than Lionel Messi-themed burgers.

Wow, my dreams seem a lot lamer in comparison, huh?

I send Tulip the image, and things wind down after that. I turn on Netflix and we pick a movie to watch, and we spend the rest of the evening in relative silence- save Jake’s occasional goofy commentary on whatever’s playing.

Eventually, Tulip has to leave- her barista shift starts first thing tomorrow morning, and she needs her beauty sleep. Jake follows her out, and the two depart with their assorted gifts, wishing me plenty of happy birthdays as they stroll into the hallway.

I shut the door behind them, sighing. Alone again. I pull out my phone to check the time. 11:34. Jeesh. Maybe I should get some sleep too.

I pull the plates out of the sink and load the dishwasher, putting away any pancake ingredients I’ve left on the counter while I’m at it. There’s still plenty of toppings left in the containers I set out. I could always make myself some more pamcakes tomorrow morning. I’ve got nothing else going on, after all. Yeah! Who says the birthday girl has to stop treating herself as soon as it hits midnight?

With the scene of the pancake party crimes cleaned up, I brush my teeth and toss my pjs on. I flop onto the bed, letting the mattress engulf me. Oh, fuck yeah. Bed time, baby.

I spend maybe five minutes trying to sleep before I give up and start scrolling through Tumblr. So, the usual routine, really. I pass by the typical text posts and stolen TikTok clips, reblogging a few that make me chuckle. Then, I reach a piece of fanart, and I stop my scrolling.

It’s an image of Horse and Wammawink from the Netflix show Centaurworld. It’s been ages since I’ve seen the show, but one of my Tumblr mutuals I started following during my Centaurworld phase still reblogs fanart of it daily, so images like these aren’t a rare occurrence. Damn, what a throwback. It’s been what, two years since that show ended? Two and a half? Maybe I’ll rewatch some of it tomorrow. I know Jake liked it too; it was exactly his kind of show. Tulip, not so much- Jake tried to get her to watch it since she’s into musicals, but she couldn’t stand the humor and stopped a couple episodes in.

In the image, the magenta-and-pink alpacataur holds the tubby blue-gray equine’s snout in one hand, the latter nuzzling against her face in a display of gentle, reassuring affection. It feels warm- the colors were soft, the linework softer, everything fluffy and curvy. I can almost imagine the sensation of Horse’s muzzle in Wammawink’s hand- the way the warhorse’s white snout nestled into the centaur’s fingers, the way the fur rubbed against the digits...

Reblogging it, I continue on with my nightly doomscrolling until I’m too tired to see the words on the screen. Putting the phone on my nightstand, I curl up under the covers, trying to get some sleep. No work tomorrow. Fuck yeah. That means I can sleep in and do a whole lot of nothing. One of my favorite activities!

* * *

I dream, and I dream I’m on a battlefield where no one’s fighting. The combatants have lowered their bows, their fists, their gazes- and mine- cast skyward. They’re all looking at the same thing, and once I see what that thing is, I can’t bring myself to look away either.

A monstrous ribbon of black, smoking tar swirls in the sky, an airborne oil slick given sentience. It coils in on itself, swallowing and regurgitating its own oily smog, a horrendous roaring howl bellowing from its bony, bestial skull. Then, just as quickly as its torturous display began, the hovering monster dives downward, a black, disgusting tar dripping from the sockets of its skeletal face and the gaps between its teeth as it vanishes into a nearby ravine.

It all falls silent again, and something strikes the still-awake part of my dream-brain. I’ve seen this moment before. I remember seeing this moment before. It’s from the Centaurworld finale- the scene right before The Last Lullaby.

As soon as I realize that, however, something new happens- like my brain’s punishing me for the recognition. A massive geyser of multicolored light erupts from the ravine, a kaleidoscope of vibrancy. It’s so powerful that I can hear it, the air itself humming. The ground trembles as the laser surges skyward, filling the air with the rainbow light.

Then, a bright white shockwave bursts from the massive beam, spreading outward in a large, expanding ring. It knocks over everything it touches, human soldiers, multicolored centaurs, armored minotaurs,

Me.

It’s like a cannonball’s slammed into my chest. I feel my legs go over my head, my body suddenly airborne, tumbling. Everything inside me hums and rattles, like my bones and organs are trying to escape without me. I try and grab something, anything, but the more I move the less I feel like I have fingers to grasp with, or arms to flail, or a mouth to scream or ears to hear the ringing or eyes to see when

Everything goes white.

* * *

I grumble, sitting up and scrubbing my hands over my face. Ugh. That was a weird-ass dream. Note to self: no more reblogging Centaurworld art before bedtime. I rub away the crust trying its damnedest to glue my eyelids together. Pittsburgh is loud today, even this early in the morning. Louder than usual, even, if that can be believed. Someone’s honking their horn on the streets outside, earning a smattering of muffled curses and other snide remarks from nearby pedestrians. Blegh. Never a dull moment downtown, that’s for damn sure.

Rising to my feet, I shuffle into the bathroom, my gait sluggish and not yet awake. I know I’ve got some ibuprofen in here somewhere…

With only one foot in the doorway, I freeze in the threshold between the bathroom and the rest of my apartment. My eyes widen at my reflection, my shocked expression projected back at me from the mirror above my sink.

Two soft, circular magenta ears poke through the blond hair atop my scalp.

[protofans]

via mailer:

We kick off the long-overdue Europe tour in less than a week. After 3 years of postponements and false starts and cancellations… we are finally making this thing happen, come hell or high-water. The rock and roll gods have spoken! … and it turns out they reeeaaally wanted us to cancel the whole thing and go back to school to get an IT degree. But we’ve chosen to ignore the gods and get on the half-sinking ship across the Atlantic with nothing but our dreams and 19,000 metric tonnes of gear. We may not all come back, but we refuse to know when to give up!!

On that note, for good or for bad, here are some updates:

NEW SHOW IN MÜNSTER!!! March 16th at Sputnik Halle. We know it’s pretty short notice, but help us out now… let’s try to get the entirety of Germany to that show! We know it’s only a 250 capacity room, but maybe we can squeeze everybody in?

LONDON DATE CHANGE Many of you know this by now, but we wanted to remind everyone that the London show has changed both dates AND VENUES (now O2 Academy Islington on the 18th), but existing tickets are still honored. We know this throws a massive wrench into a lot of people’s plans (ours included). Unfortunately, with the bizarre (and still unexplained) evaporation of both the Sci-Fi Weekender show and the Swansea show, these changes were the only way we could still make the tour happen. We’ve had A LOT of reasons to jump off this ship and swim home, but we know that when we finally get there, it’s gonna be such a glorious moment that it will have all been worth the struggle. Like, when that ship with the T-Rex finally made it to San Diego at the end of Jurassic Park 2. Everyone celebrated and nothing bad happened… right? It’s been a long time since we’ve seen that movie. Maybe we can watch it on the trip over.

Speaking of monsterous lizard birds, we’ve got some more unfortunate news… Makeup And Vanity Set won’t be on the ship heading over to Europe with us after all. We tried begging. We tried twisting his arm. We even tried chloroform, but the ski mask kept him from breathing enough in to knock him out (he’s always one step ahead of us…).

We get it though. All signs have been pointing us towards cancelling this thing and it’s for sure financially irresponsible of US to carry on with two cancelled shows. MAVS is a pretty fancy dude… but he was ready to sleep in the gutters and only eat raw cabbage and rocks like we’re going to, however he’s got some other obligations that make it an unfortunate no-go and we support him in that. And also… he just had his teeth redone, so eating cabbage and rocks would do him no good.

BUT ON TO SOME GOOD NEWS…. Most VIP Tickets are finally available!! — we’re still waiting on Amsterdam and Münster, but we’ll try to let you know as soon as those are live. Keep an eye on our socials (facebook, Instagram, Twitter) and Tour Page, because we might announce them first on those.  

>VIP TICKET INFORMATION< If you’re wanting some VIP ticket’s you have to purchase them separately from the main show ticket. If you already have regular show tickets, all you have to do it purchase the VIP ticket and you’re good to go. But if you haven’t gotten tickets to the show yet, you should be able to buy show tickets and VIP tickets at the same time. And if for some interesting reason you ONLY want to come to the VIP pre-show session… because you love seeing grown men and women dolled up in silver facepaint but hate rock and roll, I suppose that’s a thing too?? We won’t judge! And I can confidently say that this tour is happening, so if you’ve been on the fence about getting tickets…. get off the fence and get to getting. We need all the support you can muster over there!

VIP TICKET includes: • Early entry for the concert (one hour before Doors Open) • Early access to merchandise • Meet and Greet with the band • Signing session • VIP group photo with the band • Tour Poster • Exclusive VIP Tour Laminate

**ATTENTION** VIP Ticket does NOT include concert! Ticket for the show needs to be purchased additionally.

Grab some VIP tickets below so we can do some chit-chat with you and sign some stuff before the show. Also, help spread the word, because I know not everybody in the world is on this mailing list (even though they should be).

Speaking of which, let’s go ahead and activate the European Street Team while we’re at it to help get the word out about these shows so we can actually come back a 3rd time! It’s easy, all you have to do is tell other Europeans about the shows.

MARCH 10th – Paris – Les Étoiles (VIP Available) 11th – Amsterdam – Melkweg (still waiting on VIP) 12th -Berlin – Frannz Club (VIP Available) 16th – Münster – Sputnikhalle NEW SHOW ADDED! (still waiting on VIP) 18th – London – O2 Academy Islington (VIP Available) 19th – Oxford – 02 Academy (VIP Available) 21st – Wolverhampton – KK’s Steel Mill (VIP Available) 22nd – Glasgow – Stereo (SOLD OUT) – but VIP Upgrade AVAILABLE 23rd – Bradford – Nightrain (VIP Available)

SOME OTHER GOOD NEWS… CHICAGO WAS AMAZING A huge thanks everyone at Reggie’s rock club, Cybertronic Spree, and to everyone who came out! And it was absolutely wonderful finally sharing the stage with Cybertronic Spree. If you haven’t seen them live yet, go find them… they’re hard to miss. They’ll be the giant robots playing rock and roll (as opposed to The Protomen… a comparatively short band of robots playing rock and roll).

We had an incredible time playing with them, and we can’t wait to do it again soon.

Also, I just thought of something while looking at this European stuff. Is everyone aware that we have a European store with some pretty rad exclusive merch (including Act I records and the old Euro Tour shirt that’s one of the best shirts we’ve ever done)?! … because it sure seems like nobody knows about it. We have all kinds of stuff over there and it ships worldwide. We’re about to stop in and grab what’s left of that merch before these shows, so get it while it’s still there and help us clear out the closet!

We’ll see all you Europeans next week!

-Commander

[msm-tsotmw]

4/16/20XX

…I would have posted this earlier, but like I said, Cold Island wifi is shit. Anyways, we’ve left Mondo’s snow-house, and now we’re just… wandering the island. Toorie’s trying to make friends with Maggpi (because earlier she really fucked up trying to befriend a Grumpyre), Mondo’s probably asking for dating advice from Celestials-know-who, and I’m just… trying to get a closer look at things. Like that 13-foot-tall ice thing that looks strangely like Zyphur, the creator of the Wublins…

(The ice thing then proceeds to pick up a Medium Rock… and fucking eat it. Sprigg grimaces. Buuuut then the ice thing senses that someone else is there and then turns around.)

HEY , WHO’S THERE ?

…OH. IT’S A RAT.

I am NOT a rat.

WELL, YOU ARE ONE IN MY EYES. YOU’RE SMALL AND FUZZY AND HAVE TWO LEGS.

Rats have 4 legs, what are you talking about?

OH, THEN YOU AREN’T. WAIT, YOU LOOK LIKE THE FURCORNS ON THIS ISLAND BUT WAYYY LESS FLUFFY…

…I grew up on Plant Island.

THAT EXPLAINS IT.

ANYWAYS, WHY WERE YOU JUST… STARING AT ME? THAT’S KIND OF WEIRD.

I was TRYING to observe how this island’s environment affected the residents’ appearances.

OKAY, MX. DICTIONARY.

(Sprigg faceleafs.)

ANYWAYS, MY NAME IS YUKIONA. THE “EPIC WUBBOX,” AS OTHER MONSTERS MAY SAY.

…Okay.

IT WAS “ICE” MEETING YOU, NOW I HAVE TO GO AND DO MUCH BETTER THINGS. (FUCK, ALL OF ERPILLAR’S JOKES HAVE PROBABLY GOT TO ME…)

Who the hell is “Erpillar?”

ANOTHER EPIC WUBBOX FROM EARTH ISLAND. BYE.

(Yukiona leaves the scene, shoveling some snow along the way with her snow-shovel feet or whatever.)

…Okay, she probably wasn’t the nicest Monster I’ve met. Maybe I should go ask Toorie about who Erpillar is.

~~meanwhile, with Toorie and Maggpi~~

Aw , Come On , I’m Sure There Are Monsters Who Like You ! Heck , All Of The Monsters I’ve Met Here Say They Look Up To You And Tawkerr In One Way Or Another.

…But then when they see me, they all back away for some reason. Maybe it’s because I’m weird, different.

And Being Different Is A Good Thing ! If We Were All The Same , It Would Get Boring Real Fast .

And..?

If They Can’t Accept Your Differences , Then Don’t Listen To Them . Be Who You Are ! It’s Unhealthy Trying To Distance Yourself From Everyone Because You’re Different .

…Okay. Thanks.

That… kinda helped.

You’re Welcome !

…Hey, who’s that Furcorn?

Oh , That’s One Of My Best Friends Sprigg !

Hi , Sprigg ! Meet My New Friend Ma-

Maggpi, I know. Everyone on this island knows you for being one of the friendliest damn Monsters here.

(I Told You , Maggpi !)

…Uh, okay.

Anyways, Toorie, do you know this guy named “Erpillar?”

“Erpillar ?” Oh , That’s The Epic Wubbox From Back On Earth Island ! He’s A Bit Off-Putting And Aggressive When You First Meet It , But They’re Actually Really Nice Once You Get To Be One Of His Best Friends , Like Me !

…You? Friends with someone “off-putting and aggressive?”

Well , No Two Friends Are The Same !

Anyways , Have You Seen Mondo ? I Kinda Wanted To Show Them Something.

Errr, nope. Haven’t seen them.

Maybe We Should Go Look For Him !

Well, I kinda know my way around this island, plus I’m kinda friends with Mondo, so maybe I could help?

Of Course , Maggpi ! After All , Sprigg Is From Plant Island , And I Grew Up On Earth Island , So Neither Of Us Know Where To Go 😅

Okay! Knowing him, they’re probably under his favorite tree sleeping or talking to their friend Furface the Thumpie.

Let’s Go There , Then !

To where?

The Tree

…But we don’t know what it looks like.

From what I remember, it’s pretty big and has a lot of missing branches. It also has a couple of ax marks from almost being cut down, but it’s not called the “Uncuttable” for nothing.

Okay , To The Uncuttable We Go !

Toorie, we don’t know where the Uncuttable is.

That’s Why I Asked Maggpi To Help ! She Knows Her Way Around Pretty Well :)

Okay, follow me! This’ll take a long time, though…

Guess I should stop typing, then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ik you might be wondering why the Werdos are their species names here instead of their names being one of the provided nicknames for monsters, but in this AU there’s like. one Werdo for each species (one Parlsona, one Tawkerr, one Maggpi, and one Stoowarb)

also, their personalities will kinda be based off of the lyrics of the songs they sing, which means Tawkerr will have some kind of Napoleon complex because he sees itself as a “mountain” compared to everyone else’s “stone” and he’s short as fuck

-Mod Jimmy 🗣️

[senanatheskenana]

Like Birds In The Breeze (pt 3)

The crewmates above deck stopped and turn as their captain and the mysterious beauty passed by, staring before bashfully returning to their tasks after receiving a stern glance from Beidou. (Y/N) took the time to observe the blue sky, the fluffy clouds, and the small waves that rocked against distant cliffs.

She was overcome once more with the liberating taste of freedom when she remembered where she was. Surely she would never be permitted to do this. She could not bring herself to care, no room to accommodate the people-pleasing façade that she forced over herself.

Beidou, from the corner of her eye, watched in amusement at the mysterious woman’s starstruck expression.

“What’s wrong? You never seen anything like this before?” she laughed, lightly nudging the girl’s shoulder. She stumbled slightly but smiled bashfully at the captain.

“I… I suppose not. I didn’t go out much.”  She fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

“Well if you’re interested, I'm sure I know someone who could tell you about the different places he’s been. He’s been on plenty of adventure” Beidou saw the girl perk up at the idea.

“That would be wonderful! Oh, if he’s ok with that, I’d love to.” (Y/N) bounced lightly on the balls of her feet as they came to a larger door.

“You ready? My friend can be awfully scary,” Beidou hid her grin, “He’s a samurai, and he wears an incredibly sharp sword at his hip”

Her eyes widened but she tried to call Beidou’s bluff, “But… He’s nice. Right?” Beidou chuckled and nodded before letting the door swing open.

(Y/N) gasped slightly, but it was more in surprise than fear.

Currently, the only person who resided in the room was a boy, looking around her age. He was staring down at a book, with a quill in hand, thinking hard.

He did not look all that intimidating, let alone scary. In fact, (Y/N) was willing to bet that he hadn’t realised they entered the room. Wishful thinking of a samurai, she supposed, when he greeted them without even looking up.

“Hello, Beidou” no greeting was given to (Y/N). But then again, he didn’t know her name.

“Hey, Kazuha. This is (Y/N),” the boy raised his head to look at you, “I was thinking you could keep her company while I go get something for her to eat”

Kazuha nodded.

Beidou gave her a thumbs up before returning out the door they came from. Now she stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. She had not been invited to sit, so would it be rude to?  She shuffled around the table to look over the boy’s shoulder.

He stiffened slightly at the feeling of her eyes on him but continued, albeit with more shaky hands.

“What are you writing?” (Y/N) asked. She knew it was some type of poem, but she wanted to talk with him. She liked poetry too.

“Oh, just a haiku,” was the only thing he said and pretty soon, the room was once more silent.

Knowing better than to force a conversation, she skimmed over the lines until one caught her eye.

‘Dress white like snow, an angel falls’ 

She read the line out idly, and Kazuha turned to her, cheeks slightly pink at the idea of her reading his unrefined rambles.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just- well. I thought y-” His stammers were cut off by the door once again opening.

Beidou stormed through, arms piled with bowls of food. Strangely, (Y/N) still didn’t feel as hungry as she knew she probably should.

“Eat up, princess! We’ve got a big day tomorrow” she howled, setting the bowls down opposite Kazuha. (Y/N) jumped at the nickname but quickly masked her shock. She thanked Beidou twice over for the food but when she took a closer look at the dishes, she realised they were all something she’d never even encountered before. Perhaps this was seafaring cuisine, she thought as she took a seat.

“That’s Jewellery soup,” Kazuha pointed to the bowl in the middle, and then to the plate to the left. “And that’s mora meat.”

She looked up at him, smiling gratefully before taking a sip of the soup. It burned her tongue slightly but just then she was hit with a wave of hunger she hadn’t had ever before. His movements became feverish and though she could sense the samurai’s eyes on her, she could not bring herself to eat any more elegantly than she was now.

Beidou laughed heartily, patting the girl on the shoulder when it inevitably went down the wrong tube. At the display, Kazuha seemed to relent his scepticism.

Surely no dangerous criminal could get past Beidou’s competent eye. He was left with more questions now than ever.

If she wasn’t a criminal on the run,

Then what on earth was she, and how did she end up in the middle of the ocean?

~~~

I hope this is ok, i always have doubts about my writing, like that it might be boring. 

Either way, thank you for reading, have a great day :)

[aeoki]

Sandstorm - Pointless Death Game: Chapter 4

Location: Lesson Room Characters: Yuuta, Adonis, Kouga & Rei

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< Almost an hour later. ES idol hotel lesson room. >

Yuuta: No! That’s not enough! Oogami-senpai, project yourself into a rabbit more!

Shake your adorable body and jump, jump, juuump…! See, it’s easy, right? ♪

Kouga: Yeah, right! Like I can do thaaaaat! I’m a wolf, not a rabbit!

Yuuta: Don’t be embarrassed! Kouga Oogami! That’s what Sakuma-senpai is also saying!

Rei: …………

Kouga: Sakuma-senpai ain’t even lookin’ over here! Stop spewin’ nonsense, Yuuta!

Yuuta: I noticed you do whatever Sakuma-senpai tells you to do, so I started having a bit of fun doing that…♪

Kouga: You lil’–!

Adonis: Hm. Stop messing around and do it properly, Oogami. And Yuuta, don’t say things that will provoke him. 

We’ll take in the performances of other units and show a new “UNDEAD” and “2wink”.

We’re all lacking in one area or another. If we try to do things the way we usually do, we won’t get anywhere.

That’s why we’ll show a new side to us in the video.

That’s what we decided we’d do, right?

Kouga: Yeah. They’ll be copyright issues if we completely copy the other units, so we were talkin’ ‘bout how we’d just imitate their elements, right?

Yuuta: Yeah. That’s why we figured we’d start off with “Ra*bits” first, so we were pretending to be rabbits.

Kouga: Tsk… I bet it must be fun for ya to be copyin’ the young and innocent “Ra*bits”, but they’re the exact opposite to us in our eyes.

Adonis: We get paired a lot with them despite that. I think it’s because we’re in the same agency. Otherwise, things would always be the same-old.

Kouga: Yeah… Both “UNDEAD” and “2wink” have kinda been involved with other units too lately.

In other words, it’s pretty easy copyin’ them ‘cause we’ve had the opportunity to observe and work with ‘em.

Adonis: Right. But we didn’t really do that. It’s mostly because Oogami would strongly refuse every time we tried something different.

Kouga: Huuh? You got a complaint or somethin’? It’s important stayin’ true to ourselves too, ya know?

Adonis: You’re right. But continuing conventional methods will only result in us gaining fame as a rock band like we did in “Nightless City Live”.

If we want to rise even higher, we need to be able to do even more things. We should incorporate new elements but still retain ourselves…

I can’t explain it properly but I think we need to show that new side of “UNDEAD”.

Kouga: Well, I get what ya sayin’. They’ve been recruitin’ people who can do a lotta things recently too. That’s the image a lot of job offers have been givin’.

It sounds nice when you say it’ll open a whole lotta doors. 

But the world’s lookin’ for more and more people who can do a bunch of things, so they tend to avoid units like “Valkyrie” who specialise in one area.

Adonis: It’s work. They’d rather have consistent junk food every day instead of eating a luxurious high-class meal on special occasions.

That’s what happens when they’re focusing on profit. Every time there is work, carefully selecting the most suitable idols takes effort and money.

In that case, it would be much easier and quicker to select idols who can do everything since you wouldn’t need to think about anything. That’s probably what they’re thinking.

Kouga: Keh, if they wanna skimp on the extra effort, then there’s plenty of stuff in the world that they can skimp out on.

Adonis: They need to minimise their effort and produce the next product otherwise they won’t be able to keep up with the demand. That must be how they see things – we’re currently living in a severely consumerist society

And idols aren’t considered art in the world right now – it’s a form of business. They want to spend as little as they can investing in them while selling them for a high price.

That’s what’s often seen as “correct”.

Kouga: I don’t like it~ I don’t like it one bit… It’s true you can profit more that way, though.

Adonis: If you don’t like it, then let’s change that.

If creating works crafted by artisans who put their heart into it with extra care is seen as the “correct” way, then…

Things will change. And in order to change things, we need to succeed – to win.

Kouga: So you’re sayin’ we need to twist and bend ourselves in order to grasp that victory?

Adonis: Yeah. First, let’s produce results in “SS”. There is a power – a radiance – large enough to change the way things are if you hold the title of the winner of “SS”.

Kouga: Hmph. Yeah. “Trickstar” are idiots. I can’t believe they let such a huge thing go.

Well, I guess it definitely sounds like something they’d do. I can’t imagine that stupid Akehoshi braggin’ and sayin’ stuff like “We’re the strongest~ We’re the best~”.

Idols are people who always think of their fans first, huh.

Last year… their interests just happened to coincide with the people who wanted to build ES.

But we’re different. Right, Adonis?

We don’t care about the political stuff or the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people – We’re just gonna play the kinda music we like the best!

That’s why I’m strummin’ that guitar and singin’ my throat out! Ain’t that right, Adonis!?

Adonis: Yeah. That’s your view on it and I’m also encouraged by that sort of primitive instinct. Although, I’m ultimately aiming for world peace.

I’m too weak to achieve that right now.

Kouga: Huuh? If you’re weak, then you just gotta get stronger. You’re not fightin’ all by yourself, right?

Adonis: You’re right. I believe I can overcome any obstacled that come our way if we work together.

Of course, that means I also don’t think it’s impossible for us to win “SS”.

Kouga: Yeah, of course! We’re “UNDEAD”, after all!

Adonis: Right. But what’s most important is after we win.

I think “SS” is proceeding based on a future on a far grander scale as opposed to something that’s right in front of us.

It feels as if “Trickstar” last year used their prize as they pleased to build ES’ so-called “utopia for idols”.

But I’m sure things will unfold differently this year.

Those who wish for ES’ growth will surely use the power they’ve gained to do that.

But on the other hand, those who don’t think fondly of ES will definitely use it to destroy them.

There will also be people who want to use it to fulfil their own personal goals and dreams.

It’s quite extreme but depending on who will dominate “SS”, it can definitely affect the future of the idol industry. No, perhaps, it can affect the future of the entire world.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂ Next Chapter →

[themculibrary]

Miscommunication Masterlist

and you needed someone to show you the way (ao3) - SailorChibi bucky/steve/tony T, 24k

Summary: Tony knows what the team really thinks of him. It's a delicate balance: they tolerate him because of his money and his toys, and he gets to stay on the team and fight with them. He's okay with that. So long as he hides the fact that Steve's and Bucky's names are written on his skin in the most embarrassing act of one-sided love affection ever, everything will be fine.

It just figures that a fantastically stupid villain, a kidnapping plot and a video camera will bring Tony's well-kept secret out into the open.

Assumptions Makes An Ass Out Of You And Me (ao3) - misbehavingvigilante steve/tony M, 11k

Summary: In which Tony thinks Steve is an Alpha but he never actually asks and the ensuing chaos that happens because of this one (1) miscommunication.

Been There, Blown That Up (ao3) - GwendolynStacy T, 68k

Summary: After Loki’s defeat and his fall from the portal, Tony starts preaching about a murderous purple titan out to get them in the depths of space.

Wait. What?

On the other side of the universe, Nebula loses her cool approximately two seconds after laying eyes on Thanos and finds herself on a wild chase through the galaxy. Now, where exactly was that pathetic piece of rock Terra again?

Brave as a Noun (ao3) - edema_ruh M, 161k

Summary: Some people think that Peter is Tony's son. Why shouldn't they? Peter seems to be orbiting Tony all the time, and it's not like the billionaire tells him off. They have a nice relationship - Peter is glad to have a father figure, and Tony cares for the kid as if he's actually his son.

The first problem regarding this arises when the people who think that Peter is Tony's son kidnap him for ransom.

The second problem regarding this arises when one of the people who kidnaps Peter turns out to be Mac Gargan, the Scorpion, and he's hungry for revenge.

Fitting In (Tiny Spaces) (ao3) - aloneintherain T, 3k

Summary: Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.

“Spidey, they’ve got reinforcements. We’ve hit a bit of a snag here, and I don’t think anyone will be able to help you for a while. Think you can sit tight while we deal with this?”

The pressure on his lower back and legs was becoming too much. Peter swallowed thickly, fighting down panic. He could handle this.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “I can do that.”

Fractures (Filled With Liquid Gold) (ao3) - itsallAvengers bucky/tony T, 63k

Summary: Ultron happened. The Avengers left.

Tony is fine with being alone again. He always worked better as a Lone Wolf than a team player anyway. He's not sleeping or eating or resting or... living, but it's fine. It's good. It's okay.

And then there's James.

Home (ao3) - fadedlullabyes, Silver_Moon_Lit_Forest clint/steve/tony M, 11k

Summary: When Steve realizes he's fallen in love with Clint and Tony, who are already in a relationship with each other, he tries to escape his emotions by taking a vacation. Things go terribly wrong when he's kidnapped by people who have no idea he's Captain America. In the aftermath of his rescue, he finds out that Clint and Tony's feels weren't that far from his own.

In Deep Water (ao3) - itsallAvengers steve/tony T, 11k

Summary: The Avengers want a pool. Tony can arrange that for them. He can. The thought doesn't fill him with horrible, daunting dread and crippling fear.

Not at all.

(Or maybe denial does more harm than good)

I Think I Missed a Step ('Cause I'm Fallin' For You) (ao3) - mokuyoubi peter/wade, steve/bucky E, 42k

Summary:

There’s a weird familiarity about the kid's tone and posture, and it’s true that Wade is pretty far from home today but he’s also certain he’d remember that baby-face if he’d seen it before. On the other hand, he has spent the better part of the past few years feeling like he’s missed a step, so this conversation isn’t exactly anything new. [[A hot guy is willingly talking to us. Go with it.]] [Don’t make an ass of yourself.] “Shaddup,” Wade grumbles, though Yellow has a point... OR Peter thinks Wade knows his secret identity, and Wade is really confused by the hot coed who keeps popping up and hanging out with him.

Kidding Around (ao3) - MusicalLuna T, 25k

Summary: Tony may not be the most self-aware guy in the world, but there are a few things he knows:

1. Iron Man and Tony Stark are one and the same, 2. he’d make a terrible father, 3. and his teammates don’t trust him.

So naturally, he’s the only man left standing when Loki ages them all back to toddlers.

This is going to go well.

Master of Communication (ao3) - somanyfeels (orphan_account) steve/tony T, 10k

Summary: Tony didn't like being touched, on the rare occasions he wanted physical contact he would initiate it. It was how things were, how it had always been, and he was fine with it. His new team didn't know, they just kept touching and Tony wasn't quite sure how to ask them to stop.

Nobody Panic, Everything's Fine (ao3) - itsallAvengers steve/tony T, 14k

Summary: Steve doesn't get jealous. He doesn't. Honestly.

It's just...well- Tony's been spending an awful lot of time with a new employee. Who's smarter than him. And funnier. And more interesting and generally a better match for Tony than he ever would be.

But he's not jealous. Honestly.

One more stupid fight, then I can kiss you (ao3) - Neverever, Sadisticsparkle (sadisticsparkle) steve/tony G, 5k

Summary: Steve and Tony have just began dating - but after an interdimensional monster from beyond the stars attacks Tony, Steve gets very pouty and very passive aggressive.

Will their honeymoon phase survive this?!

pink raspberry cosmo (ao3) - graveltotempo loki/tony T, 269k

Summary: It's the last night of the Millennium.

Tony Stark's plan is to score a night with Maya Hansen, listen a bit to her research and have a fun little night.

But then he meets Loki, a handsome Prince from a faraway land, and the timeline is veered completely off course.

seeing the world through your eyes (ao3) - itsallAvengers steve/tony T, 9k

Summary: Sometimes Tony does things that Steve doesn't really understand. Turns out, there's a reason for that. But it's not really one that Steve is all too aware of, what with him being from the forties and all. Back then, they would've called it laziness.

Now, apparently, it's ADHD.

Steve's still got a lot to learn about the future. And his boyfriend. But never say Captain America isn't up for the challenge.

Star Spangled Spider (ao3) - Red_City steve/tony, clint/natasha M, 18k

Summary: Steve and Natasha are bros.

Steve likes Tony, Tony likes Steve. Natasha likes Clint, Clint likes Natasha. Too bad Tony and Clint think Steve and Natasha are dating.

Or, the one where miscommunication and assumptions add a whole lot of unnecessary (and delicious) angst.

The Only One (ao3) - rupertgayes peter/wade M, 70k

Summary: Tony Stark has some suspicions that one of his employees in R&D is sneaking tech to his competitors. He definitely doesn’t like Deadpool, but the regenerating degenerate is reliable - so long as the price is right.

Wade Wilson has been trying to emulate Spider-Man and get out of the merc business for a few months now, and happily takes Stark up on his offer. He even gets to brag to his role model/crush about how he’s been trailing his mark, a nerdy college student named Peter Parker.

Thorns for Flowers (ao3) - Valkirin T, 7k

Summary: Hawkeye don't mind working with Daredevil, really. He's a good guy to know and clearly cares about Hell's Kitchen.

Clint Barton would like Daredevil better if the guy was a little less ableist about Clint's hearing loss.

what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more (ao3) - hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes), starksnack steve/tony T, 5k

Summary: Steve thinks they're dating. Tony thinks they're in a relationship. Angst ensues.

You're Looking a Little Stark (ao3) - Midnight_Clover miles/peter, pepper/tony T, 52k

Summary: Peter Parker is just an intern at Stark Industries. Or, rather, that's what he wants everyone to think. But after meeting Tony Stark for the second time in his life, change gets launched his way left and right. It takes time to accept these changes and understand them, even longer to accept them. He's not used to having someone care about him like this since Ben died.

Or:

The one where Peter is Tony's intern and then falls in love with Miles while Miles falls in love with Spider-man.