#weird that all these things are going on rn

[captainreecejames]

fired by a thirst trap || my ex is a footballer LH44 Edition

summary you date footballer kylian mbappe, that is until a lewis hamilton thirst trap hits the timeline

pairing ex!kylian mbappe x reader, lewis hamilton x reader

faceclaim bruna marquezine

warnings mbappe slander

notes first, please pretend that mbappe to real madrid was announced in april of this year, second please pretend that the golden doodle on the yacht is actually roscoe. thank you for the suspension of disbelief (or however the phrase goes).

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ynusername posted--------

liked by lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1 and others

ynusername before, during, and after the miami gp

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yourmanager that's right she's hot and she knows it ↳ ynusername 😘😘

mercedesamgf1 loved having you yn, come again soon ↳ ynusername thank you so much for having me!!

yourstylist from Miami to the met gala! ↳ ynusername light work 💪🏼

username12 she's so pretty it makes me want to die og

username13 that post break up glowup really is hitting

username1 how childish to break up with someone over what they wore to a date, yn your a bitch ↳ ynusername *you're 😉 ↳ username2 LOL SUCKS TO SUCK username1

lewishamilton you're gonna kill it on the carpet later ↳ ynusername you + me = slaying the met gala carpet ↳ lewishamilton you 🤝me = killing it on the dancefloor

username14 yn what have you done with my weird ass uncle?? you're making him cool

username15 I'm crying yn is really making lewis enter his active era again ↳ username16 if a woman as beautiful as yn was talking to me you bet your ass I'm refreshing my phone to see if she said something ↳ username15 you 🤝 lewis simping after yn

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liked by lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco and others

ynusername but it's the monaco grand prix

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lewishamilton is it? Who's playing? ↳ ynusername no one's playing. its the grand prix, I never miss the Monaco grand prix ↳ lewishamilton 😂😉

roscoelovescoco we loves yous ❤️❤️ ↳ ynusername Roscoe 🫶🏼😭 ↳ username26 not Roscoe using a red heart ↳ username6 next thing we know roscoe's account is locked by merc 😭

username27 forget the red heart yn's got lewis participating in memes. merc admin is screaming crying throwing up rn ↳ username28 mercedes social media team has been begging lewis to do content, meanwhile he's over here giggling kicking his feet with yn

username29 fuck all y'all, who got yn the roses ↳ username30 idk probably the man who's yacht she's on ↳ ynusername 🤐🤐

username35 when her and lewis treat the paddock as their own personal fashion show, you won't catch me complaining ↳ username36 I know the French man is crying right now, she upgraded so fucking hard ↳ username37 she's just a gold digging whore, glad he left her ↳ username36 idk, maybe if he made an effort SHE wouldn't have left him

charles_leclerc was lovely meeting you yn! ↳ ynusername HEY get off your phone and go enjoy your win!!! 😠 ↳ charles_leclerc okay mom ↳ username31 someone update the f1 family tree, yn is now Charles mom via her relationship with lewis ↳ ynusername I'm too young to be a mom, let alone a grandma. 😂😂

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post note: also, in my head this was going all the way past the canadian grand prix and going to feature some of the mercedes social media admin debacles, but it got too long and i really don't want to pile on to them when I think they got fired.

[chnt-confessions]

i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.

we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)

also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3

(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!

[bequiteanddriveeee]

HI GANG so coming up w a plan, I am going on a vacay i wanted to be in recovery for ( i go 2 one of these cons every year since 2019 its a big deal and some of the happest memories of my life are at this con) well i am clearly not and im not really at a point that i can recover at my own, i think i need medical intervention (severe stomach shrinking, bad home environment, all the health issues i yap 2 u guys ab) but this trying 2 eat in the 200s range is actually really helpful ive only fainted 1nce this week!!! (well 2wice if u count yesterday) my quality of life has greatly improved

so my plan is to continue w that until after con, try to eat my safe foods but not count tho at con, and with my job i have lined up i will get a new set of hours and bounries and will prob go back to my 100s unfortunetly, but thats my next reassess point

im really really scared that this is going to make me gain, and im pretty happy where i am rn

if anyone has tips who is also 0rtho or things to focus on, i have a hard time meeting nutritional goals (weird 2 ask 4n4blr how to 34t more but if im not in the trenches i dont know where i am) and like reassurance im not going to gain a million p0unds would be great

stay safe out there rexies :D

[detentiontrack]

I am so sorry if this is weird but you seem like you give good advice. Im a recently out trans girl and HOW DO YOU SHAVE YOUR LEGS??? I always end up with cuts on my legs. How do you do it cleanly?

It’s not weird at all!! I’m always open to giving advice to my besties. First off, congrats on coming out! I wish you the best of luck on your transition journey! Second of all, honestly I think most people when shaving get cut. It’s just one of the facts of life. However there are a few things you can do to minimize the chance of it happening

Shaving 101:

So the two main things that result in getting cut while shaving are having too dull of a razor, and shaving on dry legs. You want your razor to be SHARP. I use disposable razors and replace them after a few uses, but you can also buy metal ones with disposable blades. If it doesn’t trigger too much dysphoria, buy the “”mens”” razors (it’s literally so stupid that we separate our razors by gender, but the ones meant for men typically work better, are sharper, and are bigger. Sometimes they’re even cheaper than “”women’s”” razors, which is a whole separate issue I won’t get into rn) it sounds counterproductive, but you’re actually more likely to get cut on a dull razor than on a sharp one. The second thing is that you want your legs to be REALLY wet. NEVER shave on dry skin. Get into the shower with hot water, wash your hair and face, and wait a bit for your skin to soften up. Which direction you shave in really depends on you. Shaving against the grain (meaning, against where the hair follicles are) (typically starting at your ankle and going up) leaves a finer shave, but it also increases the risk of cutting yourself and can irritate sensitive skin. Shaving with the grain (starting at your thigh or knee and going towards your ankles) leaves a less clean shave, but you’re less likely to get cut. Make sure you’re regularly rinsing your razor because if hair builds up on it, it gets harder to use, shaves less, and you will get cut easier. Be VERY careful when shaving around your knees and ankles because those are the places that get cut most easily. Stretch your skin tight while shaving around those areas to minimize things the razor can catch on. After you’re out of the shower, make sure you put on moisturizer or lotion on your legs. Shaving dries out your legs and makes them more prone to irritation, as does hot water. So hydrating your legs is so important. It takes a WHILE to learn how to properly shave. I started at 12, and I still sometimes leave a trail of blood after getting out of the shower if I’m not paying attention. Good luck!!!

[nightcolorz]

friendly reminder that the reason rolin jones made Louis a pimp in the show is because the network told him he couldn’t write him as a slave owner like the books but rolin considered that Louis having an exploitative working position that demonstrates his lack of empathy for people he doesn’t respect and his tendency to have little qualms for using humans as property for financial gain was an important part of his character that he wanted to honor and find an equivalency for…. Friendly reminder that analyzing Louis’s negative traits is an intended reaction by the writers and Louis is and has always been deceptively good willed 🙏 friendly reminder that it is likely very intentional that in the books Louis was a past slave owner and Armand was a past slave which added dimension to their relationship, and in the show they found an equivalency by making Louis a past pimp and Armand a past (forced) prostitute. Friendly reminder!! That all of this is not fanfare made up by fans meant to unjustly demonize Louis but actually like,, fairly overt subtext, and that Louis being portrayed as capable of harm and having negative qualities actually in fact!! Makes him a better more, likable and complex character in a cast full of horrible people, and that analyzing and appreciating this doesn’t meant u r unjustly demonizing Louis 🙏 thanks

[cozymochi]

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE MORE FUTURE SEBEK AND SILVER AND LILIA !!! !

yes i DO have MORE OF THAT FUTURE STUFF hoarded 😩😩 i kinda been living in that world for months so ermm *sweats*

Guess we’ll see what happens when i have more time to show things lol

[pineappical]

in light of tedtrent becoming so real, im also jumping on the tedtrent epilogue 😊

there's just no way ted wouldn't keep in touch with the others (and have weekly zoom meetings just like in the christmas special) and I just love the thought of the whole team having reunions once in a while.

and going back to trent's arc in s3, the sunflowers conversation, "And your daughter?" "She's never been happier." I think it could go the same for ted.. we've never really properly saw how henry felt about his dad being in london, it's always other people that told ted his son misses him, who's to say henry would rather see his dad happy because that in turn would make him happy too? he was there to win the whole thing, right? I just know ted’s story isn’t done yet when he still hasn’t learned to let others take care of him in return and who else to pair him with than the man who blew up his career because a man was nice to him (and also because they were so. so cruel for the fakeout tedbecca scenes for that finale) 🥺

I'm no writer so just pretend these are snapshots of a slow burn fic where ted visits london for their team reunion and slowly realizes that trent has a crush on him and they kiss about it 💛

[randomminty]

I heard its her birthday and had a sudden urge to draw kirararararararrara

[camelspit]

uhh very quick alternate graphic novel clothing design ideas for sophie.

@skylilac @callas-pancake-tree @arson-anarchy-death @steal-nightmares-leave-dreams @neverseen-nevermore @abubble125 @purplesoup-lad-le @gay-otlc @thefoxysnake @keeper-of-the-lost-dadwin @ravs6709 @did-i-say-you-could-get-up @kamikothe1and0nly @that-glasses-dog @presidentroarie @even-if-in-another-time @nyxpixels @slozhnos @katniss-elizabeth-chase @sofia-not-sophie @moontoastt @lemon-girl-in-devil-town @three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat @purpleunicycle @just-a-honey-badger @loverofallthingssmart @antisocialdork @tamsong @cutebisexualmess

[feelslikegold]

while I understand what this person is saying….the difference in how their partners are treated makes no sense to me lmao. I have seen the other partners (some who might argue are just as if not more private than josh’s) be included in fic??? with tabs kept on all of them to the point where fans even notice *instagram comments* left from them???? it’s so funny that only josh gets this kind of treatment when every other relationship (hannah doesn’t count) is obsessed over by fans…..

we don’t know for sure what jenny was to danny and yet why do I still see people casually mentioning her and posting about what she’s up to when her socials were private too while she was with him????? she was clearly very private and yet……?? people obsessed over talking about them…..

respecting their privacies should be happening, but respect all of them? the same? 😭 josh’s partner is treated like a curse if he’s mentioned which is pretty respectful ig, but why are there tiktoks of other partners along to the sound of “she’s getting that dick” like it’s just SO so fucking weird to me that this fandom does not respect women no matter what and has also treated josh so oddly when he came out 😭

[goldkirk]

.

[shima-draws]

I finally watched The Amazing Digital Circus after seeing all the hype about it (and it's STILL no.1 on trending. Wild) and now I have been struck by the curse of theme song stuck on repeat in brain. Help

...Gangle and Zooble and Kinger too, Ragatha, Jax and there's Kaufmo (woo-hoo!!!) Day after day after day after day after day--

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[caruliaa]

just bc im a lesbian doesnt mean tht i wont at times become deeply entranced with the beauty of male actor or character. it just means i wld rather be locked in a room with a man with a knife than do anything romantic or sexual with one

[spacelazarwolf]

always wild to get the most horrifically transphobic comments from someone then check their profile to see they have “she/they” in their bio.

[derpinette]

SPERG YOUR HEART OUT